#watch me wake up and go wow I fucking hate this

[typicalopposite]

Hopes & Fears

chapter 4 (hopefully I'll get through six by Sunday!) Buck POV

Buck’s phone was going off the moment he got to his Jeep. He glances back at the pharmacy... He pictures Tommy’s face– the way it fell as Buck spoke; the hurt in his eyes, the hitch in his breath– pushes the image aside and climbs in before pulling his phone out of his pocket. He sees Tommy’s name on the screen. Still donning the helicopter emoji, the flame, and a green heart. Tommy’s favorite color is green. He has no idea why he never changed it. Grace glances over the center console of the Jeep and sees his screen. “Wow,” she says. “He really has some nerve.��� Buck silences the call and tosses it into a cup holder. 

The call ends. Then Tommy is instantly calling again. 

Then he calls again.

And again.

“He’s clearly not giving up,” Grace says, her voice tinged with annoyance. “You should just block him.” Buck swallows at the urge to tell her to stay out of it… and instead takes her advice, Blocking Tommy’s number. “There,” she coos, running a hand over his shoulder, and up the nape of his neck. “Now you don’t have to worry about it, or him, anymore.” 

“Yeah…” Buck mumbles, turns the Jeep on and pulls out of the lot. 

*

It’s three AM, and Buck has a shift in less than five hours… and instead of sleeping, he’s baking. 

It’s been months… and he is baking. Again. 

The aroma of cinnamon sugar, and vanilla, and lemon, and blueberries mingle and mesh together throughout the loft. Eventually, they become fragrant enough to wake Grace up. She stirs upstairs and Buck glances up at her from the kitchen; he watches her stretch and yawn, running her fingers through her hair to tame any fly-aways. “Well something smells… very sweet,” she says as she comes down to join him. She looks around at the loaf pans and cookie sheets littering the counters, covering the table, and the island, too. “Is there a party coming up you forgot to mention?” She laughs, and sits down on one of the barstools. 

“Uh, no– no it’s… this—” What is he supposed to say? I’m in my feelings about seeing my ex, that I’m clearly not as over as I’d like everyone, myself included, to believe… and he’s fucking carrying someone else’s kid. I’m stuck between feeling pissed about it, and feeling bad for feeling pissed… and to avoid running over to his house to apologize for being so harsh… I’m hyper-baking… again . “It’s for Jee,” he lies. “She’s got this bake sale— Maddie hates baking. I volunteered.” 

“Well... are you just so sweet,” Grace gives an overly dramatic awed pout and covers her heart. “Why anyone would walk away from you is beyond me…” She gets up, rounds the island and wraps her arms around Buck. 

“Uh… y- yeah, thanks,” he hugs her back, trying to avoid getting powdered sugar and flour all over her. 

“You know I’m here for you… right?” She says, pulling back to look up at him with those big, brown eyes. “If you need to vent about him, you can.”

He takes a deep breath. He should just drop it. He should just let it go… it’s none of his business anyway it’s just— “I just can’t— can’t believe it, you know? He— he fled at the mere thought of living with me… a- after six months and then in less time apart he’s already starting a family?” He is speaking before he can stop himself and Grace is staring up at him, listening intently— she never listens to his rambling. It fuels him to continue. “It’s— it’s annoying, you know? It hurts! A- And maybe it shouldn’t— hell… it definitely shouldn’t. It’s not like he cheated… but— but still.” Why didn't he want that with me… He keeps that thought to himself.

read from Ch One on AO3

[yingxtkm]

It’s been nearly a month since I’ve drawn anything properly so sue me for the scuffed anatomy. I am once again back with my 3am nonsense, someone needs to sedate me 🍵🗿

[demigod-of-the-agni]

Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.

You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places

also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u

variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut

tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste

[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]

[not-neverland06]

you're not her

The 'Worst' Logan x fem!mutant!reader

a/n: really wanted to write for the worst logan so I found a streaming site so I could finally watch the new Deadpool movie (yay pirating) (this is totally hypothetical and a joke to the feds lurking) I was going to just read the wiki plot but I don’t think that was going to cut it Again, using the same superhero name/powers. It’s not an OC I swear, it just makes sense in comic book movies to have some alternate name and I’m not creative enough to come up with multiple different supe names. Summary: You hate him, you really fucking hate him at first. He’s cruel and constantly reminds you that you’ll never be the hero he knew. You’re not her and he’s made that abundantly clear. But what are you supposed to do when he’s suddenly your new roommate and you have no choice but to wake up to his face every day? I feel sad because I don’t think I did the angst justice with this one. But if I keep staring at it trying to fix it, then I’m never going to post it. (This is a long one guys) Angst with a happy ending (because I’m a little bitch) Makeout scenes and smut towards the very end 18+ MDNI

You don’t know how you got here, but you know you’re mad at whoever dragged you into this shit. You don’t think it would be wild to assume it was Wade’s fault. Usually, when something goes wrong in your life it’s on him. 

What you do know; you look like shit. Wade and Wolverine are both standing over you in their awesome ass uniforms and you’re still in your fucking pajamas. How are you supposed to be badass and save the world in pants that have Spiderman’s face plastered all over them?

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Wade,” you growl at him. 

He places his hand daintily on his chest and waves you off, “Save that for the bedroom, pookie.”

You grit your teeth and glare up at him, Wolverine gives him a similarly disgusted look. “Fuckin’ ridiculous,” you grumble under your breath. You get to your feet and brush yourself off, finally looking around and taking in wherever the fuck he’s dragged you. “Where are we?”

“The void,” Wade responds, voice ridiculously dramatic. You look around and throw your hands up in defeat. 

“What the fuck, Wade? Why did you drag me with you into this?” You look over at the Wolverine beside him. He hasn’t stopped glaring at you both and his claws are out, clearly ready to just eviscerate you. “Who the fuck is this?”

“Okay, wow, language, Flux. I’m disappointed in you.”

“Eat me-”

You’re cut off by the knock-off Wolverine standing a few feet behind you both. “Flux?” He demands, voice so low you almost can’t hear him. Both you and Wade’s heads whip around to face him. Thus far he’s been relatively silent, you nearly started to wonder if he was mute. 

“It’s her X-Man name,” Wade tells him, gushing like it’s some big deal. “Impressive, huh?” You don’t bother correcting him that it was your X-Men name. Can’t exactly call yourself that if they booted you off the team for being a crappy superhero. 

Logan snorts and shakes his head. He stalks towards you and you nearly fall over in your attempt to scramble back from him. “You,” he demands, claws pointed at you threateningly. “You’re Flux?”

Wade hisses, watching as Logan swipes out at you. “Alright, peanut, let’s put the claws away and take a deep grounding breath.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Logan snaps at Wade. He turns to glare at him and you take the opportunity to scramble behind your friend for protection. At least if he gets stabbed, he’ll heal. “You,” he scoffs and it trails off into a laugh. There’s no humor behind it, he's just a dick. “You are a fucking joke compared to my Flux.”

The ground underneath you rattles, pebbles bouncing off the cracked desert and ricocheting off their boots. Wade quickly moves away from you, shoving you forward so he’s not in the line of fire. “Yeah, well you’re just an alcoholic fuck who could never hold a candle to my Logan.” 

You can feel energy brewing at the tips of your fingers, waves, and waves of hate building up within you. The man across from you feels the shift, the static suddenly permeating the air around you both. You let your power build and build…

The pebbles drop back to the ground and you stumble back from Logan, nose bleeding from overextending yourself. “Shit,” you mutter, wiping at your face with the back of your hand and shaking your head. 

Logan laughs again, it echoes through the stormy sky and you wish you had any control over your powers so you could just send him flying. Or, better yet, turn his bones into liquid and flip him inside out. “Oh,” he lets out a long exhale, glaring at both of you. “This is fuckin’ ridiculous.” The faux smile drops from his face and he raises his voice just loud enough to make you jump, “Just one big fuckin’ joke!”

You have about five seconds to dive to the side before Logan is lunging at Wade. “Wait, wait, wait we can talk about this!” Wade shouts, but it’s too late, he’s already on the ground getting his head caved in. 

You let out a rough sigh, stumbling off to the side. You’re drained from that shitshow of powers. You barely made a few rocks levitate and you feel like you’re going to pass out. You walk away from the two men and throw yourself on the ground, trying to reorient yourself while they fight like wild animals. 

You can hear them in the background, stabbing and shooting like they’re aiming to kill. Too bad neither of them can die. It’d save you a hell of a headache.  They run past you, Logan’s got his claws buried in Wade’s gut while Wade’s desperately firing off his gun into Logan’s chest. 

Your head rolls weakly to the side and you mutter out a pathetic, “No, stop. Don’t kill each other.” As expected, neither of them listens to you. They keep fighting, showing no signs of stopping. 

There’s a moment of silence after about ten minutes of nothing but grunts and insults. You peak your head up in interest. Logan got his claws posed over Wade’s throat. You wonder if decapitation would actually kill him or if he’d somehow manage to survive that. 

Wade doesn’t seem interested in testing out the theory, “They can fix it!” Wade shouts, “They can fix your timeline. I just need your help saving mine.”

Your eyes widen and you meet Wade’s masked gaze over Logan’s shoulders. The white slits widen and he minutely shakes his head, telling you not to say anything. Like, maybe, that neither of you has any fucking clue if the TVA is capable of even fixing timelines like that. 

You know Wade is desperate when he makes that promise. It’s the only reason he would say something so stupid. It’s a blatant lie, one pulled so far out of Wade’s ass you’re genuinely surprised that Logan can’t smell the bullshit. Whatever happened in his universe must have been horrible for him to ever believe anything that comes out of any Deadpool’s mouth. 

It’s a long moment before Logan finally pulls his claws out of Wade. Your friend slumps forward in relief as Logan stalks away from him. You glare at Wade from where you are on the ground, “That was fucking stupid,” you snipe at him. He gets to his feet, walks over to you, and forcefully yanks you to your feet. 

“Not a goddamn word,” he warns, but you aren’t exactly threatened by him when he's got three holes in his head from Logan’s claws. Still, you hold your hands up and acquiesce, following after him as he chases down Logan. 

Your mind is still fuzzy when you are captured by Cassandra. You're recovering from overextending yourself, eyes blurring and limbs going limp like jello when her army of henchmen circle you all. 

You finally feel yourself starting to come back to your body when you wake up tied to Johnny. “And,” Wade draws the word out, waiting until you lift your head to finish, “there she is! Happy you could join us, princess. Mind turning these ropes into dust for me?”

You groan and let your head slump onto Johnny’s shoulder. He smirks and glances down at you. “Oh fuck off, both of you. I can’t do shit right now and you know it, Wade, I’m drained.” 

Logan is glaring at you, but there’s less hate in his glare and more confusion now. “Can you do anything?”

You narrow your eyes at him, lips screwed up while you try to decide if he’s being an asshole or genuine. “Hard of hearing or something old man? I’m drained,” you reiterate, your tone a little too bitchy. 

Logan narrows his eyes, grunting something foul under his breath. Wade interferes before you can piss each other off anymore. “She had an accident, her brain’s a little broken now. But it’s fine! Whose isn’t?”

You huff and throw yourself back against the cage you’re all being transported in. You feel eyes on the side of your head and slowly look over to see Johnny grinning at you. “Hey, you know I’ve met one of your variants-”

“Don’t give a fuck,” you interrupt. You hear Wade snicker under his mask, giving you an encouraging thumbs up even with his hands bound. You were both a little disappointed it wasn’t Captain America lurking under that cloak. But at least this guy isn’t such a prude he won’t cuss. 

For the next five minutes, you’re on the receiving end of a very enthusiastically vulgar rant about just what a cunt Cassandra Nova is. He’s still not even finished by the time you reach the gates to her lair.

Your eyes widen when you see all the people lurking around the walls. Most of them you recognize as people you’ve put away or killed in your world. But there’s something just minutely different about them than the version you faced in your timeline. Their eye color or outfit is always just slightly off. 

The familiar faces are almost a relief. But there is nothing comforting about knowing you're outnumbered two hundred to four. The cage is tipped over and you go rolling out, you grunt as Johnny’s elbow digs into your ribs. 

Before you can even attempt to shove him off, the ropes are whipped off of you and you’re dragged by an invisible force across the ground. Rocks and sand scrape across your tender skin and bury themselves deep in your pores. You hiss in pain when you finally come to a stop and your body is your own again. 

A groan slips through your parted lips unbidden as you struggle onto your knees. Your pajamas are ripped practically everywhere and you feel like you might as well be naked at this point. You really wished that you at least had a chance to change before you were kidnapped to another universe. 

The woman you presume to be Cassandra Nova is currently fucking Wade’s skull with her freakish telepathy fingers. Johnny’s a pile of guts and bones on the floor and you have no fucking clue where she flung Logan to. 

You get to your feet, shaking your head and reorienting yourself. In a second she’s in front of you, head tilted to the side while she regards you curiously. “Woah,” you jump back, glaring at her outstretched hand. 

“Careful,” Wade warns her breathlessly, still clutching his head. “Flux here has a pathological fear of bald people.”

You nod, “It’s true, you can imagine how strained my relationship with your brother was.” Cassandra circles you, a devious tilt to her lips. Your eyes track her, unwilling to take your gaze off her for even a second. You feel like a rabbit, facing down a fox that’s made its way into your burrow. 

“Curious,” she mutters. “I’ve seen quite a few of you down here before. But,” she chuckles and before you can move her hand is shoving its way into your brain. You scream, there’s an agonizing burn as her fingers probe under your eyes and dig through the deepest part of your subconscious. It feels like someone’s taking a shovel and ripping up your worst traumas. “None of them have been so weak.”

Wonderful, even she wants to insult you. You can feel the way she’s plucking through your thoughts, tossing aside the ones she doesn’t like. Images of your childhood are flashing across your vision. You can no longer see the world around you, it’s like every one of your worst memories is being played on a projector. 

“Ah,” she clicks her tongue and jerks your neck around until you’re looking at something you’ve tried to forget for years. “Here it is. How easy it would be for me to simply unblock those powers of yours.” She smiles, her face appearing before you and blocking out the bloodshed. “It would make this far more entertaining for me, what do you say?”

Your teeth are clenched so tightly you’re surprised they haven’t cracked yet. It’s hard to get the words out when her fingers are still dancing through your skull. “Fuck you,” you finally spit out. She releases you suddenly, and you surge forward with a gasp, clutching at your skull desperately. 

You half expect your brains to begin leaking from your nose and eyes. But nothing happens, despite feeling incredibly violated, everything is still in its proper place. Cassandra walks past you like everything is fine and dandy in the world. “Well, as much as I would love to see those powers of yours in action again, Flux, I’m afraid Alioth must eat.”

Before you can ask what she's talking about there’s a loud rumble. Like thunder cracking through the sky and land, the ground underneath you shakes. Cracks form under your feet and the henchmen around you all start desperately racing for cover. 

You turn around, staring wide-eyed at the purple cloud of death and destruction steadily moving across the sky. A face breaks through the clouds, grinning down at you. Purple lightning hits the ground and the villain next to you explodes into nothing but dust. 

“Shit!” You shout, turning around and running to try and avoid getting zapped up next. There’s no coming back from this one. Once this monster gets you, not even god could save you. 

Suddenly, an arm wraps around your waist, lifting you off your feet. “No time for consent, we’ve got to get the fuck outta here!” Wade shouts in your ear. Logan is standing next to some robot leg, ripping out cords until a jet on the back fires up. Wade leaps onto the boot, wrapping an arm around Logan’s legs as you’re all shot into the sky. 

You’d scream if you weren’t trying not to throw up. You hurtle through the sky at speeds that have your skin nearly ripping off your skull. The rocket on the back of the leg starts to sputter out. The flames flickering out and then back to life. It steadily begins to drop until you’re plummeting headfirst towards the ground. 

Wade wraps himself around you, tossing himself off the boot so he can brace your fall. You hear and feel nearly all of his bones break under your weight. For a moment it feels like you’re laying on warm jello as you try and catch your breath. 

“Nailed it,” he mutters weakly. You’re pretty sure he can’t breathe, a rib having pierced his lung in the fall. A shadow looms over you and you glance up to find Logan glaring down at you. You stare at him apprehensively, half expecting him to unsheathe his claws and just end you right here. 

Instead, to your surprise, he holds a hand out. You look at it with suspicion, glaring back up at him. “Fucks sake,” he mutters. He reaches down, roughly grabbing your hand and jerking you to your feet. You feel the warmth of Wade’s blood on your back and grimace. 

“Thanks,” you mutter, still not entirely trusting of him. 

He purses his lips into a thin line, backing awkwardly away from you. He just nods and starts surveying the land around you. It feels less like trying to figure out where you all landed and more like awkwardly avoiding eye contact. 

The whole interaction leaves you feeling odd. “Well, that was as awkward as two virgins on prom night,” Wade loudly announces as he jumps to his feet. You whip around and send him a dirty look but his attention has already been snagged by something else. Lately, you’ve been considering grounding up Adderall and slipping it into his breakfast, you think it might do him some good. 

What’s got to be the fugliest dog you’ve ever seen in your life bounds towards Wade. He drops to his knees, ripping off his mask and opening his arms wide to the mutt. You grimace, taking a step back when she starts licking his face. “Oh, that’s just wrong.”

Thankfully dogless, you steal Nicepool’s Honda Odyssey - much to Wade’s chagrin. Logan’s in the front seat, Wade beside him. You’re sitting in the back, rubbing your temples and trying to get rid of the raging migraine you’ve had since Cassandra finger blasted your brain. 

You’ve been zoning in and out of the conversation happening in the front seat of the car. But Logan suddenly slams on the brakes and you go hurtling forward. Without even looking at you, both their arms shoot out, blocking you from flying through the windshield. 

Your face scrunches up as you look at both their arms, it feels like being saved by an overbearing soccer mom. “Buckle up, princess,” Wade tells you. He shoves you back into your seat and you look between the two men suspiciously. 

“Did you just say if?” Logan growls, glaring at Wade. Your face drops, finally realizing what you’d missed. 

Wade lets out a weak chuckle, “Slip of the tongue?” Logan growls and the claws come out. Wade raises his hands, “Okay, let’s put a brake on the crazy train. I wasn’t lying it was just an educated,” for the first time in your friendship Wade is actually speechless. You’re shocked by the silence. Until, of course, he runs his mouth again and comes up with the lamest cop-out you’ve ever heard. “It was an educated wish that they could fix your timeline, alright?”

Logan doesn’t give much of a warning except a low growl before he shoves his claws deep into Wade’s thigh. “You motherfucker!”

“Hey!” You shout, jumping forward and ripping Logan’s claws out of Wade’s leg. “Look, we’re trying to save our whole fucking universe. Can you blame him for lying?” You regret opening your mouth pretty much immediately. 

You should have just stayed out of this, it wasn’t any of your business. And if they wanted to be two dumbasses and fucking tear each other apart then so be it. But you never should have drawn attention to yourself. 

“Shut the fuck up,” Logan shouts at you. It’s so startling, coming from him. You’re still associating him with the man you’d looked up to growing up. Your Wolverine was a hero. He was the reason you wanted to be an X-Man. And they look exactly the same, it’s nearly impossible for you to separate this one from the one you knew. 

But it's easier now. Because the man you’d known would never be so cruel and jaded to the world. Not like this. “Why the fuck are you even here? You’re just some watered-down knockoff of a real hero. You are nothing, you’re worth nothing. It’s a fucking joke that you’re alive and the woman I knew is buried six feet deep. If there was anything right in the world you would be in a grave somewhere crawling with maggots.”

Your eyes water without your permission. You don’t know this man. Yet, he has the face of your greatest hero and the man who you’d grown up hearing stories about. It’s like facing everything you’ve ever wanted to be and having it shout your deepest fears and insecurities back at you. He’s just confirming something you’ve known for years. You never deserved the title of being an X-Man. You never deserved the uniform or anything that came with it. 

Your breaths are coming short and fast, it feels like your lungs are constricting. You worry you won’t be able to get air in but he doesn’t care. No, he keeps going. “You follow this fucking clown around and you contribute nothing to the world. You’re never gonna save your fucking timeline. You can’t even make a few rocks float.” It’s not the words that hurt you next. It’s the way he says it. “You’re pathetic.”

He spits them at you. There’s venom lacing his tone like he’s seen into you and knows there’s nothing in you to offer. For the first time in a long time, you feel seen and you hate it. Because he’s looking past the sarcasm and the faux confidence you carry yourself with. 

He sees the empty husk of a woman you truly are and he’s forcing you to face it with him. It causes you physical pain, to know that everything you’ve ever feared about yourself is true. You don’t have anything to say to him, you can’t. 

Your lips tremble and you feel so fucking small. You can hear your parent's voices in your head, screaming at you and wishing you were never born. They’d rather have a stillborn than a fucked up mutant for a daughter. You see the way even other kids at the school would hide from you. You were made wrong, even as a mutant you were never truly accepted. 

Logan’s face drops ever so slightly at the prolonged silence in the car. Even Wade isn’t speaking, he’s just staring at you both. “I,” he starts, but Wade cuts him off. 

“I’m gonna hurt you now.” Wade’s never been one to let people run over you, even when you might just let yourself fall into the background. You shouldn’t be surprised when he draws a knife and stabs it into Logan’s throat. 

But the arterial spray that follows catches you off guard and suddenly your tears are dried. Instead, you’re throwing open the car door and diving out before one of them crushes you. You make it out of the car just in time, Logan having thrown Wade right where you had been sitting. 

Music starts up in the car as a result of their fighting. Divorced dad rock and the sounds of their, borderline, sexual grunting are your soundtrack for the rest of the night. You curl up at the base of a tree, waiting for them to be done with each other. 

Logan’s words continue to echo through your head. And the longer you linger on what he said the angrier you get. Not necessarily at him, but at yourself. You’ve let yourself linger in self-pity and wallow in regret for so long. 

You look in the mirror and you no longer recognize yourself. He’s right, as much as you hate to admit it, you’re a fucking joke. You toss your head back, slamming it against the trunk of the tree hard enough for it to hurt. 

There’s this manic, cloying feeling tugging at your chest. It’s like someone’s sitting on your ribs, crushing you until you can’t breathe anymore. You keep throwing your head back, letting the pain distract you until you feel warm blood leaking down the back of your scalp. 

“Shit,” you hiss, hand coming up to cradle the back of your skull. You wince when you feel the split in your skin. The blood leaks over the tips of your fingers, running through the cracks of your palm. 

You force yourself to relax, to move your head away from the tree. As you go to stand up, possibly to get Wade and Logan to quit their fighting, you notice something odd. The air around you is still, you can no longer hear them grunting or groaning as they rock the Honda. 

Leaves are suspended in the air. They’re not trembling from the breeze, they’re completely frozen. You take a step forward and gasp when you hit something solid. The air in front of you has solidified somehow. 

The realization dawns on you slowly but surely. This is you, you’ve done this. Manipulated everything around you on an atomic level. You’ve turned something you shouldn’t be able to feel into something you can touch. Frozen the world around you. Whatever Cassandra had done inside your head, it had knocked something loose. 

You haven’t had this wide a range of control for years. Any attempt to do something like this has been met with nosebleeds and long periods of blacking out. Elation fills you, the hurt from earlier is nearly gone. 

You glance through the wall of air and try to see if you can still see the Odyssey. To your horror, it’s gone. You wave your hands and the air returns to normal. The leaves drift back to the forest floor and you run back to where you’d left the two men. 

There are tire tracks dug deep into the mud. You know Wade wouldn’t willingly leave you behind, not here. You don’t know if Logan’s just kidnapped him or if someone else has. Whoever was driving was clearly in a rush to get out of here. 

You must have missed it all while you were having your meltdown. “Fuck,” you shout, your voice echoing into the branches above. You take in a deep breath and start walking. Hopefully, you can catch up to them before whoever has them does serious damage. 

You make it to a weird cave/hideout area. The Odyssey is parked outside and when you peek through the broken windows you find the interior completely destroyed. There’s blood soaking through every surface, anything and everything has been smashed and bent the wrong way. 

You don’t even know if this is from Wade and Logan or whoever had snatched them. Shaking your head you back up and slink towards the entrance of the den. You can hear shouting inside, it sounds like Wade, but you can’t make out what he’s saying. 

You haven’t seen action for a long time. At least not any that you could actually contribute to. It feels a bit like riding a bike. You’d practiced on your way here, making things around you float or eradicating a few trees into nothing but dust in the wind. But this is different. 

Your friend (and Logan) are inside, possibly being tortured. Maybe even dead. Though, you seriously doubt the universe is going to be that nice to you. You let the energy build in your arms, it’s like a warm tingling feeling. It shoots down to the palms of your hands until you feel static in the air. 

You take a step inside and spot three people. Each of them is decked out in weapons. One of them turns and spots you. “Who is-” 

You don’t let him finish, throwing your hands out and slamming them all into the wall so hard the whole interior shakes. Dirt rains down from the ceilings while their faces contort in pain. You run inside, spotting Logan and Wade. 

You shoot Wade a big grin but he throws his hands up and shouts, “Read the fucking room!” Your brows furrow and he points emphatically at the people you’re holding, “Good guys!”

“Oh shit,” you release them immediately, a guilty look on your face. “I am so sorry.” Logan cackles in the back, doubled over laughing while the three people in front of you brush themselves off. 

You don’t want to be out here with him, but it’s better than being in that cave with the others. Laura walks past you, sending you an uneasy smile. You’d noticed her sitting beside Logan and decided they probably needed a few moments to themselves. 

They were finished now, though, and he had the only bottle of liquor left in the cave with him. You trudge over to him, leaves crunching under your boots. Elektra, after that horrific introduction, had given you a uniform a different Flux had left behind. 

She was long gone, killed by Cassandra years ago, but she’d conveniently been your exact size. The uniform is nearly identical to the one you have buried under your bed. Black leather with a dark purple X going across your chest and matching purple seams. You’d never wanted something ridiculously flashy. Just something that people would see and associate with the X-Men. 

Because that’s all you’d ever wanted to be; a hero. It feels like a pipe dream now. If your pajamas weren’t so destroyed you would have just stayed in them. You don’t feel like you deserve this uniform, not when the woman who’d worn it before you had actually been a hero in her timeline. 

“Don’t want company,” Logan snarks, without even looking back to see who’s coming up to him.

You take a seat on the lawn chair closest to him and snatch the bottle of whiskey from his hands. “Good,” you tilt your head back, downing as much as possible. It burns the whole way and you revel in the slight tickle in the back of your throat. 

“Alright,” Logan mutters. He gently takes the bottle back from you, giving you an aggrieved look when he sees just how much you’ve stolen. He looks back into the fire and sighs, “Look, I’m not interested in hearing about your sob story or why you’re suddenly drinking all my liquor-”

“Gambit’s liquor,” you interrupt, not bothering to look at him. “And I’m not looking to dump my sob story on your lap. I just want to sit in silence and that’s impossible because Wade hasn’t stopped running his mouth since we got here.”

He looks a little surprised by the brusque way you dismiss him, “Alright,” he mutters. He takes another swig from the bottle and you both stare silently into the fire. It’s like that for a while, you don’t bother keeping track of time. 

All you hear is the crackling of the flames. All you can feel is the way your eyes burn from staring into the fire and watching sparks pop off the logs for too long. The breeze rustles the trees, makes the leaves shake free and dance around the logs of the fire. 

He breaks the silence first, to your chagrin. “About what I said,” he clears his throat uncomfortably, still refusing to look at you, “back in the car.”

“Don’t,” you snap, voice low. “Just,” you let out a long breath and shake your head. You finally look over and meet his eyes. He does actually look sorry, but you don’t want to hear it. “Just don’t, I deserved it all right.”

“No, no you didn’t.” You open your mouth to argue but he gives you a firm look that has your jaw snapping shut. “I was wrong, I don’t know you. And if my Flux had ever heard me talking to you like that she would have melted my fucking spine.” He laughs a little and you feel your lips twitch up slightly. It’s the first time you’ve seen him look anything but angry. 

Curiosity loosens your tongue and knocks you out of the dazed stupor you’ve been in. “What was she like?” You ask, tone earnest. “Your Flux, I mean, you make her sound so amazing. I just can’t,” you trail off, but the look on his face tells you he understands your unspoken words. I just can’t see myself as a real hero. 

He groans and leans back on the log he’s resting on. He stretches his legs out in front of him, the liquor bottle placed on the forest floor. You’re surprised, you figured the thing was glued to his hand. 

“Well,” he reaches up and scratches at the scruff of his chin, a wry grin on his face. “She was always giving me shit, never let me get away with anything.” You unconsciously lean forward, drawn into the endearing way he begins to describe this other version of you. 

It’s not ridiculous to assume this variant meant something to him. He’s got a shine to his eye that you haven’t seen in the whole time you’ve been together. His gaze has been empty, closed off to anything and everything. But now, his eyes are crinkling at the corners, there’s an easy smile on his face that you can’t miss. 

“Ah, she was fucking feisty. And strong, she was so strong. She was always a better hero than I was. She lived for that shit,” he trails off and shakes his head. You can see you’re losing him and you don’t want this to end. You’re in your own little bubble right now, getting to pretend there’s a version of you out there somewhere that actually lived up to her potential. 

“Her powers,” you blurt out, desperate for something to stop him from retreating back into his mind. “Did she have, um, good control over them?”

Logan nods, eyes darting down to the bottle of whiskey before flickering back up to meet your gaze again. “Yeah, Charles trained her, she was right up there with Jean. She could have,” he stops and suddenly you feel guilty for making him talk about this. You can see the tears in the corner of his eyes, the way the whites of them go red. “She could have been great.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, “I didn’t mean to pry.” But you did. You were being selfish and forcing him to talk about it even though you knew it would hurt him. 

“Look, kid, she would have liked you. I’ll tell you that much,” he says reluctantly. Like the words hurt to force out. You suppose he isn’t used to being genuine with anyone. 

You shake your head and look down at your hands. “I appreciate the thought, but I doubt it.”

Logan grabs the bottle again, gulping it down like it's water. His words have a slight slur to them as he speaks again. “I think I would know, bub. ‘Sides, you made it into the X-Men, tells me what I need to know.”

You scoff and fix him with a sardonic look, he raises his brows in question and you roll your eyes. “They’ll take fucking anybody. And I still wasn’t good enough for them.”

Logan shakes his head and frowns. “If what I saw in there,” he points back to the den and you feel your cheeks warm as you remember what you’d done, “is any indication, then I’m sure you were plenty good.”

You lean towards him, elbows braced on your knees. He follows suit, leaning so close you almost want to back up. The proximity flusters you slightly but you shake the feeling off. “You don’t even know me and the first real thing you said to me was that I’d be more useful as fertilizer.”

He sighs, face screwing up at your harsh words. He runs a hand over his cheeks and groans, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

You lean back in your chair and idly twirl your hand through the air. The leaves around you lift up and flutter through the air above your head. Logan watches and you turn back to him, waiting until his eyes meet yours to speak again. “Yes, you did. And you were right. I’m fucking useless, powers or not.” The leaves drop, a few fluttering into the fire. “We’re irrelevant, Wolverine, two washed-up X-Men who never looked good in the uniform.”

There’s a twinge of hurt on his face but you can’t make yourself feel bad about it. Since he’s such a fan of brutal truth, you’re sure he can handle it. 

You watch as the leaves curl up at the corners, the fire burning them straight through the middle. You get to your feet and move past him. You’re nearly back to the den when he calls, “The suit looks right on you,” over his shoulder.

You pause at the threshold of the door. He’s already drinking again, staring into the fire and watching it burn. You take a few steps towards him, staring at his broad back. “What happened to her, your me?”

Logan looks down at his hands, his ring finger specifically. You wonder at the significance of the movement, what exactly you’d meant to him. “She married me,” he mutters, voice cold and closed off again. 

“Goodnight, Logan,” you whisper, finally walking inside the den. 

You miss the small goodnight he sends back to you, finally turning around only to watch you leave. 

There had been a very clear plan set in place. Get Juggernaut’s helmet, put it on Cassandra, and then kill that psychotic bitch. Which is why you’re so confused when you’re standing knee-deep in guts and watching Logan and Wade leap through a portal above you. 

You don’t have time to feel angry or even hurt that they left without you. Laura is grabbing your arm and you’re both running for your life, trying to escape Alioth again. You run into Cassandra’s lair ducking into one of the rooms and dragging Laura with you. 

You’re both holding your breaths and praying that he’s sated by the others still outside. After a few minutes, the cracks of thunder stop and you risk peeking your head outside. The clouds have retreated back to their usual spot in the middle of the void. 

You take in the carnage of Cassandra’s evil lair. Most everybody is dead. You only have to skirt around a few people to get back to the Odyssey. 

You throw yourself in the driver’s seat and sink back against the bloodstained cushions. You let out a relieved breath and look at Laura, “What do you do to entertain yourself around here?”

You acclimated to the idea of being stuck in the void pretty quickly. There wasn’t exactly a lot waiting for you back home. Besides, Laura was nice enough. You had food, beer, and company. You didn’t really need much else. 

You’re pretty sure if you linger too long on the thought that Wade left you behind you’ll fall into a depression that you’re never going to be able to claw your way out of. So, you forced a smile on your face and played cards. Nothing else to do but wait to die of old age or for Alioth to kill you. 

Of course, your plans had to be ruined. There was an odd rush of air against your back and then a slight whoosh. Laura glanced over your shoulders and her brows furrowed, you turned around to find three armored men waiting behind you. 

“Flux,” the man glanced from you to Laura, “X-23?”

“Laura,” you both correct at the same time. 

The man gives an aggrieved sigh and holds his arm out, “Come with me, please.”

You stand up, energy tingling in the palms of your hands while you regard them suspiciously. Laura comes up behind you, claws out and glaring at them. “Why should we?” You demand. 

Barely a second later you hear the most insufferable voice in the world. “Hiya, peanut!” 

“Wade,” you hiss. You follow the armored men through an oddly shaped portal and find Wade standing beside a shirtless Logan, smiling proudly at you. “You fucking left me,” you hold up your hands and his eyes widen. 

His hands quickly come up, trying to assuage you, “Hold on now-”

You throw him back, his body hurtling into a nearby building and caving in the wall. Logan watches it happen with a small smile, “Been wanting to do that for a while.” 

Once Wade had recovered he filled you in on everything that happened. TVA did a general clean up and then you were standing in front of your apartment door, keys in hand like nothing had happened. 

It was so bizarre, going from a mission to save your timeline and then you’re expected to just go about your life. You stay standing in that hallway for you don’t know how long before you hear someone behind you. 

You jump and drop your keys when Logan clears his throat. “Shit,” you hiss, whirling around and glaring at him while your heart races. He chuckles and bends over to grab your keys for you. 

“Sorry,” he mutters. This is the most relaxed you’ve ever seen him, covered in blood and in a borrowed shirt. “Uh, Wade doesn’t have enough room at his place. Told me I should come over here.”

You look over his shoulder and see Wade peeking his head out of his doorway. He catches your eye, sending you a thumbs up. You almost smile but then he makes a phallic gesture with his hands, pointing at Logan and humping the air. You glare at him and he quickly backs into his apartment, but not before sending you one last encouraging shit-eating grin. 

You look back at Logan and he’s waiting expectantly for your answer. “Yeah,” you take your keys from him and unlock the door. “I’ve got a spare room but there’s no bed in it right now.” Your eyes widen when you see the mess that is your apartment. 

You quickly rush through, picking up empty take-out boxes and dirty laundry and shoving them into your room. He’s smiling at you when you come back and it's slightly off-putting. “Um,” you gesture towards the couch awkwardly. “You can take the sofa tonight and we’ll look at setting you up with something more permanent tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” he hovers by the armrest and you engage in the longest stare-off of your life. Neither of you says anything for a few suffocating moments before he gestures at himself. “Shower?”

“Oh,” you snap out of your stupor and nod your head. “Yeah, right, of course.” You show him down the hall, “Here. I’ll go get you a towel.”

You rush towards your linen closet, leaving him behind in your bathroom. You grab a few clean towels and then figure he might want some clothes as well. You grab some pajamas that Wade’s left over when he’s crashed before. They’ll probably be a bit tighter on Logan, but you wouldn’t mind seeing that. 

You walk back to the bathroom and the thought of knocking doesn’t even run through your head. It should, honestly, but you’re already so thrown off by him even being here. You walk in and immediately gasp and drop the towels. 

“Oh, I'm sorry. I’m so sorry.” He’s standing naked before you. Clothes discarded on the floor behind him. Everything on perfect display. Your eyes land on his abs, noticing a few prominent veins leading down-

You cover your face and turn around. “Sorry,” you mutter again. God, you’re such an idiot. You still haven’t even left. You’d just been shamelessly ogling the man naked and you don’t even have the decency to walk out. 

You really can’t help it though. It’s been such a clusterfuck, the last 72 hours. Your brain is fried and Wade’s little show hasn’t helped you at all.  

You hear Logan laugh behind you. “It’s alright,” he mutters. Something warm ghosts across your arm and you jump slightly. His hand firmly grasps your bicep, gently tugging your palms away from your face. 

You risk a glance over your shoulder and nearly gasp at how close he’s gotten. He's towering over you, something in his face you can’t place. “It’s alright,” he whispers again and you find yourself nodding without really thinking. 

He’s got both hands on your arms now, trailing up and down. The touch is so featherlight you can barely feel it at all. You don’t even realize how he’s gently coaxing you closer until you trip on the towels at your feet. 

You startle, looking down at them and moving to kick them aside. But he stops you, his finger nudging your chip up so you’ll look at him again. There is such blatant want painted across his face that it makes your heart skip a beat. Your breath catches in your throat when he wraps an arm around your waist and drags you closer. 

You can feel all of him. You can feel just how much he wants you. It catches you off guard, this sudden display of attraction. You don’t know where it’s coming from, what’s brought it on. But you can’t find it in yourself to care. You’ve been so lonely for so long. You just want to bask in the fact that he looks absolutely starved for you. 

No man has ever looked at you with such heartbreakingly yearning eyes - like he’s been looking for you his whole life. He dips down, lips ghosting gently over yours. Your breaths mingle together, you can nearly taste him. 

It’s unclear which one of you moves first, who pushes closer to the other. But it doesn’t matter because the second you put real pressure behind the kiss he’s all over you. One of his hands drifts down to your ass, squeezing the flesh there and dragging you closer, grinding his hips into yours. 

You moan at the feeling, your arms wrap around his neck and you press yourself even closer. He groans against your lips at the first swipe of your tongue. You part with a gasp when he picks you up, practically tossing you onto your sink. Your legs spread instinctually, making room for him as he slots himself between them. 

It’s odd, feeling so vulnerable even when he’s the one who's completely naked. It still feels like he’s holding all the power. 

His lips are moving frantically over yours like he’s terrified you’re going to disappear the second he lets go. You can taste something desperate on his tongue. Something deeply rooted inside him that you can’t identify. 

One of your hands drifts from his neck, trailing over the muscles of his chest. Your fingers carve a path down his abs, relishing in how muscular he feels under your palm. Your hand reaches his pelvis, nearly wrapped around him when he jumps back. 

He grabs your wrist in a grip so tight you know there’s going to be a bruise. A pained gasp slips out and he releases you immediately. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “Sorry, I can’t.” He won’t look at you now, backing up towards the shower and shaking his head. “This was a bad idea, I can’t do this.”

You shake your head, slipping off the sink and hiding your bruised wrist behind your back. “No, sorry, I shouldn’t have moved so fast.”

You feel too ashamed to meet his eye. He kissed you but you feel like you’ve forced yourself on him somehow. It’s a nauseating feeling and you want nothing more than to run back to your room and hide. 

He takes a step towards you, something pained on his face. “Kid-”

You just shake your head, step out of the bathroom, and grab the handle of the door. “Sorry,” you whisper again, closing the door behind you. You lean against the cool wood, trying to catch your breath. 

Your hand drifts up to your lips, still tingling from how desperately he’d kissed you. It doesn’t make any sense. He came on to you, he threw you up on the sink, and made out with you more passionately than any man ever has before. So why are you the one who feels dirty?

You rush down the hall and into your room, slamming the door behind you. You dive under your covers, closing your eyes even though you know you won’t sleep. No, your shoulders are tensed up to your ears and your bones are vibrating with an energy you need to release. 

You’re completely tuned into the other person lurking in your apartment. You can hear as he starts the shower, how he talks quietly to himself sometimes. Then when he gets out you can perfectly picture what he looks like while he’s getting dressed and it only makes you feel worse. 

You listen as he leaves the bathroom and pauses in the hall. You can see it in your mind’s eye, how he stares at your door. He walks towards it and lingers for a minute before cussing quietly and heading back into the living room. 

You suddenly remember that you didn’t lay sheets out on the couch for him. You feel guilty, but there’s not one part of you that will be dragged from this bed and face him. Not now, at least. 

He’s up for a little while longer, getting water. Turning the TV on and off. Rooting through your cabinets looking for booze you know you don’t have. Finally, he settles on the couch. You’re awake for another hour, unable to relax until you’re completely sure he’s asleep. Even as you drift off and your body finally relaxes your mind doesn’t. You keep seeing that stricken look on his face and it makes you sick to your stomach. 

It’s the smell of pancakes that wakes you up. You’re not sure when you finally managed to pass out last night but you know it was late. Which is why you’re so pissed off that you’re being forced to get up at seven in the morning. 

You’re used to being able to sleep in a lot later than that. You’re already in a pissy mood from last night and it only gets worse as you trudge around your room getting ready. You’ve never been more thankful to have snagged one of the rare two-bathroom apartments in the building.

You don’t want to have to share a bathroom with Logan. You don’t even want to use the other one after what happened last night. It’s too embarrassing and painful to think about. The emotional whiplash of feeling so desired and then absolutely hideous is making your head spin. 

You’re sure it was all just a problem on his end, but it really doesn’t make you feel any better. When you can’t stall any longer, and you know that Logan has heard you get up, you slip quietly out of your room. 

The curtains in your living room are open and he’s in the kitchen fucking around with your stove. The news is playing quietly on the TV and you’re astounded about how little he’s done and how much more homely your apartment feels. 

It’s never really been home to you. Not after you were booted from the X-Men. But he’s somehow made it ten times cozier than it ever has been. You almost resent him a little for it. 

“Morning,” he grumbles from the kitchen. “Coffee,” he motions behind him and you see a steaming cup already waiting for you. You silently slip behind him, grabbing the creamer from the fridge and pouring it until you’re sure it’s sweet enough to not actually taste the coffee. 

“Thanks,” you mutter, moving to sit at the table. You keep your eyes trained on the TV, pretending to pay attention to the news so you don’t have to look at him. He bores his eyes into the side of your head until you feel like you’re going to have holes in your temple. 

When you can’t take it anymore you finally look over at him. He doesn’t smile, his face barely even twitches, he just looks back to his pan and continues scrambling some eggs. “Didn’t know you cooked,” you offer up weakly, already growing anxious from the silence. 

It feels wrong, to be walking on eggshells in your own apartment. He grunts and shrugs, “Not really cooking. You had the mix in your pantry,” he tells you brusquely. His tone borders on rude and you scoff. 

The audacity of this man to have an attitude with you in your apartment. He was the one who threw a hissy fit last night. You roll your eyes and go back to the news, all it tells you is that the world is just as depressing as the inside of your apartment is right now. 

You notice out of the corner of your eye the way his shoulders slump forward. He leans against the oven, seeming not to care if he burns himself. You suppose it doesn’t matter, he’d just heal. “Sorry,” he mutters. It sounds like it pains him to say the words. 

“Whatever,” you mumble under your breath. You take a long sip of your coffee, slurping a little so you have something to fill the atmosphere. 

He puts some food on a plate and brings it over to the table for you. You usually don’t eat breakfast, preferring to just skip the meal and eat a bigger lunch. But it feels too bitchy to say that to him, so you just accept the food with a strained smile. “Thanks.”

He sits across from you, glaring down at your table like it insulted him. You drag your fork against the plate, letting the scrape of metal against porcelain drown out your worries. Finally, he looks at you. “Look, about last night.”

You tense up. You want to interrupt him, to stop him from explaining. You know it’s just going to hurt your feelings, whatever he says. Whether he tells you it was a mistake or he just realized he’s not attracted to you, either way, you’re fucked. But, it’s also kept you up all night so you just shut your mouth and let him speak. 

You keep your gaze trained on your plate, unable to fully face him. He lets out a long sigh and clenches his fork so tight you hear the metal bend. He drops it to the table and clenches and unclenches his fists a few times. 

“I just couldn’t kiss you, not when I wasn’t doing it for the right reasons.”

Your brows furrow in confusion and you finally look up at him. “What?” You demand, disbelief coloring your voice. 

His eyes are boring into yours, an intensity behind the stare that leaves you feeling a little shaken. “You look like her,” he whispers, and the grief is so thick in his voice it makes your throat tighten. He pauses briefly before continuing. “There are,” he clears his throat like he’s trying not to cry. It makes you lean back in your chair, arms crossed over your stomach uncomfortably. 

“There are a few differences, obviously. You’re not a carbon copy. But your mannerisms, your attitudes, you’re so similar. And I,” he shakes his head and gives you one of the most genuinely apologetic looks you’ve ever received. You can tell he really does feel guilty for projecting on you but it doesn’t make you feel any less uncomfortable. “And I just wasn’t doing that for the right reasons. I was pretending you were her and that’s just not fair to you.”

You lean your elbows on the table, head falling into your hands. You let out a rough sigh and groan in irritation. You knew the reason would hurt but you didn’t think it would be this bad. You feel gross, icky under your skin knowing that he was pretending you were another version of yourself. The version of yourself you’ve always wanted to be; the hero. 

But you also feel such a deep sadness and sympathy for him. He’d briefly mentioned that he was married to this other you. You can’t even begin to imagine what it would feel like, to see your dead wife’s face staring at you and she doesn’t even know you. 

“I,” you don’t even know where to begin. You struggle to say anything for a minute and you both just stew in the tense silence. You take in a deep breath and look up at him. You do what you always do, forcing a smile and shrugging it off. “I appreciate the honesty, really.” You stand up, bringing your still-full plate into the kitchen and busying yourself with cleaning up. 

“Clearly,” you snap, your voice crueler than it should be, “It was a mistake. We’ll just have to make sure it doesn’t happen again, right?”

Logan sits silently at the table. He looks like there’s more he wants to say but you don’t give him the chance. You can’t take it. You finally thought someone had wanted you for you, flaws and all. You’re a fucking idiot, he barely even knows you. Whatever connection you thought was there was just brought about by your own loneliness. 

“I gotta get ready for work,” you tell his back because he isn’t looking at you now. 

He nods, scraping his fork across the plate as he aggressively cuts into his food. “Right.” You wait for him to say anything else but he doesn’t. 

You walk past him and head back to your room. You don’t even have a job, you don’t have to work. But you still grab your purse and head out of the apartment. Pretending you do just so you don’t have to look at him anymore. 

You really should have let him finish, though. You should have let him keep talking to you. Let him explain how as much as he sees her in you, that’s not why he wants you. He wants you for you. Because as similar as you can be, you’re still a completely different person from who his late wife was. You’re someone strong and incredible and he genuinely wants you. But he can never really let himself be happy. 

It takes a few days for you both to ease up around the other. The incident in the bathroom is never brought up again. You take him shopping for clothes after a few days. It feels wrong to keep giving him Wade’s hand-me-downs. You would have had your friend take him, but you don’t trust Wade’s sense of fashion at all. 

After that and getting lunch together while you were out shopping things got a little easier. You bought him a bed for the spare room because you felt guilty seeing him all cramped up on your tiny couch. 

You don’t initiate any physical contact with each other. The closest you’d gotten was your hands brushing when you both reached for some popcorn at the same time on movie night. But you hadn’t really minded that bad. 

Eventually, he starts to feel like a real roommate and a friend. He lets little pieces of himself slip out. Slowly opens up about his past. You haven’t made any existential discoveries of course. But he tells you stories of what his X-Men were like. 

You try not to dance around the topic of his wife, you don’t want him to think you’re avoiding asking about her. But you also don’t want him to think you’re obsessed with discussing her. 

He’s right, you two weren’t carbon copies of each other at all. You might share a few things in common but the more both you and Logan learn about each other, the more clear it is how different you both are from your variants. 

Sometimes you think he looks at you like he’s really seeing you, not her. But you can never be sure and you don’t want to put much strength behind the thought in case you’re wrong. You hate the idea that when you’re thinking of nothing but him, he’s just seeing her reflection on your face. 

There’s nothing you can do about it but it doesn’t stop the hurt. 

Tonight, at Wade’s suggestion, you’re both up on the roof waiting for a meteor shower that you’re ninety percent sure is never going to happen. You’re also one hundred percent sure that Wade just tricked you out of your apartment so he could have sex in it. He and Vanessa don’t really get a lot of time alone with Blind Al around. You’re already mentally preparing for the absolute fuck storm you’re going to have to clean up after.  

There’s a light nudge on your shoulder and you glance over at Logan. He’s got the whiskey bottle outstretched towards you and you take it from him with a smile. One thing about being his roommate, your alcohol tolerance has skyrocketed. His liver might regenerate, but you’re pretty sure if you keep going down this route yours will give out in a few months. 

“Think this is actually going to happen?” You ask, pointing up toward the clear night sky. 

Logan chuckles and shakes his head. He stretches out in your flimsy lawn chair and you try not to let your gaze be drawn to the sliver of skin peeking out from his shirt. “Probably not, but I don’t mind being out here.”

There’s an unspoken, with you, that makes you smile. You meet his gaze, his eyes soft as he watches you. “Me either.” You lean back in your chair, pulling your legs up onto the seat and huddling under your blanket. “It’s peaceful.”

You drink together in silence for a little while longer. Then you have to tap out, you don’t want your brain getting too foggy. Tonight is nice, you want to remember it tomorrow. To your surprise, he caps the bottle and places it to the side. You don’t mention it but you do feel like you’ve noticed he’s been drinking a little less. The dark circles under his eyes seem to be easing away ever so slightly. 

He looks over at you with an odd light in his eyes. You shift uncomfortably under his stare when it lasts a little longer than it usually does. You chuckle awkwardly, “Do I have something on my face?”

There’s a soft uptick to his lips as he shakes his head. “No,” he mutters, looking back out at the night. “You mind if I ask you something?”

Ominous, but whatever. “Sure.”

He still doesn’t look at you and you worry slightly about whatever it is he’s going to ask. He doesn’t ease you into it all, “Wade said your brain was broken?” A laugh springs out of your throat from how brusque that was. He rolls his eyes. “Fuckin’ idiot mentioned it in the void, been wonderin’ about it.”

“It’s fine,” you tell him. You’re relaxed enough that you don’t mind answering. You don’t want to pop the soft bubble you’ve managed to create around each other. “Here,” you hold your hand out for the whiskey bottle. He gives you an apprehensive look before handing it over. 

You unscrew the cap, “This,” you say and point your hand at the glass. The liquid inside lifts into the air and you freeze it before dropping it back into the bottle with a splash, a simple little party trick. “This used to be enough to put me in a coma for two days. That’s what he meant. Something happened to me and I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

Logan’s eyes widen and he shakes his head in disbelief. You laugh a little, “I assume your wife never had problems like that?”

There’s always a fond smile when you mention his wife. Whether the memory is bittersweet or not. “She wasn’t perfect, much as I thought so. When she used her powers too much she,” he trails off and looks down at the floor. You frown, ducking your head down so you can catch his gaze. 

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” you promise quietly.

But he shakes his head and gives you a weak, tight-lipped smile. “No, I want to. And I don’t want you to think you’re the only Flux who struggled. When she used her powers too much she would deteriorate. Parts of her would just disappear, I don’t even know how to describe it. They were destroying her from the inside out.”

You let out a low whistle, eyes widening slightly. “Well, maybe I didn't get the short end of the stick after all.” It’s quiet and for a moment you worry your humor was ill-timed. 

But he lets out a rough laugh, “No, I guess not.” He takes in a deep breath before looking back up at you. There’s no distant sadness in his eyes like there usually is when you bring her up. It seems to only be a familiar ache now, rather than something fresh and bleeding. “But what happened to you? Why couldn’t you use your powers?”

“Oh,” you look down at your lap, picking at the strings of your pants. It would be unfair to have him talk about his wife and then wimp out when it was your turn. 

“Um, There was this mission. A bunch of kids, mutants, were being held in this warehouse. It was actually pretty normal, just go in, retrieve them, and bring them back to safety. I must have done a dozen of these before, but, I don’t know. Something was this different this time around.”

You can still hear them screaming. In your mind, you hear the way they cried for help. And you see the look on your faces when they realize you can’t save them every time you go to sleep. 

You suck in a sharp breath and almost jump when his hand lands on yours. It’s gentle, he’s barely even touching you and he’s not even acknowledging what he’s doing. But you take his hand in yours and squeeze, it’s nice, grounding. 

“Long story short, they were heavily guarded and I was pretty drained from fighting off the guards. My powers were practically gone by the time we could even get to the kids. And, I don’t know, something must have gotten knocked over or hit the wrong way because smoke was filling the place and everything was on fire. I couldn’t see anything, couldn’t breathe, and the kids were blocked off. There was nothing we could do to get to them. Everyone kept screaming at me, telling me to just use my abilities and get them out of there. I couldn’t,” your voice gets thick and you look anywhere but at him. “I,” your mouth hangs open and you don’t know what you could possibly say. 

There’s no excuse for what happened. “I just couldn’t,” you whisper. You sniffle and your eyes flutter rapidly, trying to stop any tears from coming. “Hadn’t been able to use my powers since then. Trauma block or something, I guess,” you dismiss yourself flippantly and shrug. 

Logan just squeezes your hand again. He doesn’t seem to know what to say to comfort you and you’re honestly grateful for the silence. You get so sick of people telling you there was nothing you could have done. Or that the others should have helped you. Because that’s not a fucking excuse. There’s no fixing what happened, no giving those parents their children back. You fucked up and you don’t appreciate people giving you cop-outs. 

You keep your gaze trained steadily on the ground, eyes going blurry while you try to slip into the back of your mind. You don’t get the chance, though. Logan is kneeling in front of you, hands slipping up your arms to cup your face. 

He forces you to look at him, to stay present in the moment with him. “You fucked up,” he tells you. It's so shocking that you can’t help but let out a loud wet laugh. You sniffle and he grins, wiping the tears out from under your eyes. His grip on your cheeks tightens and he makes sure you’re listening as he speaks, “You fucked up, kid. But that doesn’t mean you didn’t try your fucking hardest. And it doesn’t erase all the people you did help.”

Your eyes search him, trying to find any kernel of untruth. Trying to prove to yourself that this isn’t real. That he isn’t real. You don’t deserve this moment of such unwavering trust and faith. This is meant for someone else, for someone who deserves good things in life. 

You’ve never truly believed you deserved happiness or peace like this. But right now you don’t care because he is saying everything you’ve ever wanted to hear. And he actually means it. 

Your hand drifts up, covering his and tilting your head to press a gentle kiss to his palm. It’s tentative, a test, a way to give him an out if doesn’t want this. His grip on you tightens for half a second before he shoots forward and claims your lips with his own. 

It escalates quickly. You practically melt off your chair, straddling his lap while he leans back on the ground. Your hands tug at his hair while he moves desperately over your body. He can’t seem to decide what he wants to do, where he wants to touch you. 

You love how fully his hands engulf you, the tight way they cradle you to his chest. You’ve never felt more secure in someone’s arms than you do right now. He’s got you, and he wants you. For you this time, you can tell. You can tell from the way he holds you that this isn’t a desperation born from grief. It’s something else, something you’re not ready to identify yet. 

His tongue laves across the seam of your lips, silently asking permission. You smile against the kiss, parting your lips and deepening it. He licks into you, tasting you with a low grunt in the back of his throat. You feel your hips start to move of their own volition. Gently grinding down against his lap. You moan when you feel just how bad he wants you. 

You lean back, parting from the kiss and pressing a finger to his chest to keep from following. You chuckle at his eagerness, grinding your hips down again and watching the way he thrusts up to meet your movement. “Didn’t know I was such a good kisser,” you tease. 

But he doesn’t return the joke or play along. His face falls slightly and he pulls further away from you, the look on his face distant. “What?” You whisper. “Do I have bad breath?” You joke, trying to keep the mood light. 

He shakes his head and runs a tired hand over his face. “No,” he mutters. He repeats the word more firmly and finally meets your gaze. “I think I need to take this slow, just because of…”

He trails off but you know what he means. His wife. You don’t know if he’s still projecting her onto you, you felt so sure he wasn’t earlier. But if every time you kiss he’s gonna pull back you’re not sure that you can do this. “Of course,” you mutter with a bite to your voice. It’s hard not to feel a little rejected every time he acts like this. 

You move to get off his lap but his hands clamp down on your hips and he shakes his head again. “You don’t have to get up.”

You hesitate, thighs still hovering over his. You should get up and put as much space between you as possible. But he’s so warm and you want to be held for a little while more. You nod and he looks relieved. You lean back down, pressing your chest against his and letting your head rest in the crook of his neck. 

He wraps a heavy arm around your back, keeping you close while the other reaches up to stroke your hair. It makes you feel small, in a good way. Like you can just relax and he’ll take care of you. 

“Goddamn,” he laughs a little and you sit up. He nods to the sky above and you turn around, gasping. 

“Fuck,” you whisper, “he wasn’t lying.” For once, Wade was telling the truth. Above you, it looks like the sky is falling. Glittering stars dart across the sky, streaks of blue following behind them. You grin, “It’s so beautiful.”

Logan keeps his eyes on you and nods, “Yeah, it is.”

“Ah, look, my favorite fuck buddies.”

”Wade,” you greet tightly. You shove the bottle of wine you brought into his chest and he stumbles back. “Just let us in, you freak.”

He frowns, placing a hand over his heart. “You know, it really hurts when you talk like that. I think we all need to hold hands and have a good old-fashioned jerk circle.”

You roll your eyes and flick his thick forehead. “It’s share circle, dumbass.”

”Not the way I do it,” he moves to the side and lets you both in. “Well, mi casa es su casa, especially since Vanessa and I had rockin’ sex in your bed last week.”

He walks off before you can hit him or even begin to respond to that. “I fucking knew it,” you hiss, glaring at his stupid Hawaiian shirt while he mingles with the rest of the people at the party. 

Logan chuckles behind you, “How did you two ever become friends?”

You roll your eyes and turn to face him. “I moved in next door,” you respond dryly. “This was a nonconsensual friendship because god hates me, clearly.” You shrug your jacket off and he takes it from you, hanging it up on the hook by the door. He comes back, slinging an arm around your shoulder, and leading you towards the kitchen. 

You hear Wade laughing loudly in the background and he grunts, “I’m gonna need a drink for this,” he mutters. You nod your head in agreement. You don’t get very far, though, because without any warning Wade is in front of you. He’s got his ridiculous dog in his arms and shoves her in your face. You grimace and jump back. Logan abandons you and you narrow your eyes at his retreating back. Traitor

Wade says your name with disappointment. “You know, Mary Puppins is a part of my life now. As my best friend, you need to bond with her. I can’t have you two fighting like this.” He shoves the dog into your arms without any warning and you flinch away from her wandering tongue. 

“If this thing licks me, I’m putting her down,” you warn him gravely. 

He gasps and snatches her back. “You are no longer welcome in my home,” he tells you with a snotty huff. You roll your eyes and watch him go. When he’s out of sight your lips curl up in a grin and you glance at Logan. 

He’s by the sink, making himself a drink and taking a deep swig straight out of the bottle. You creep up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He smiles, hand coming down to gently hold your arm. “What’re you doing?”

”Come with me,” you whisper. You take his hand and lead him through the apartment. You both skirt around the partygoers, giving them vague greetings and waving them off when they give you odd looks. 

Logan leans down, lips brushing across your ear as he whispers, “Where are we going?” Your knees nearly give out when you hear that low tone of voice of his. You just shake your head and lead him down the hall. You can sniff out Wade’s room from the permeating stench of his axe body spray. 

You throw the door open and drag Logan inside behind you. His nose wrinkles up at the stiff socks littering the floor and the smell. Other than that, it’s relatively clean. You actually thought this would look so much worse. 

“Now,” Logan demands, “are you gonna tell me what we’re doing?”

“Well,” you lock the door and turn around with a devious grin. “Seeing as Wade has ruined my favorite sheets, I feel like we need to get him back somehow.” You glance around the room, trying to figure out something of his you want to destroy. 

You don’t hear Logan moving towards you. You’re too busy rooting through Wade’s desk and trying to find something good to shred up.  All you’re seeing is increasingly more disturbing porno mags. He has got a serious problem with pegging. You briefly wonder if you should set up an intervention or something for him. 

You nearly yelp when Logan’s hands grip your shoulders, whipping you around to face him. “I’ve got an idea of what we can do.” That’s your only warning before his lips cover your own. You melt into him immediately, hands fisting his shirt and dragging him closer. He grins against your lips, lifting you and placing you on the edge of Wade’s desk. 

“Mm,” you moan but shove his chest back and shake your head. “Wait,” you hop off the desk and take a seat on Wade’s bed instead. “There’s no point in this if we’re not on the bed.”

Logan shakes his head with an amused huff. He walks towards you but instead of taking a seat on the bed next to you like you'd expected, he kneels before you. Your brows furrow together and you frown. “Wait, what’re you doing?”

He gives you a gentle smile, hands coming up to rub gently over your thighs. The warmth of his palms soothes you almost immediately. “You trust me?” He asks, voice a low rumble against your chest. 

“Yeah,” you whisper. He nods encouragingly and leans forward, kissing you gently. There’s nothing expectant in this kiss. He’s doing it just to be close to you. Then you feel his hands drifting higher, fingers running over the buttons of your jeans. Your lips part, ready to ask him a question. But he just takes the chance to dip his tongue into your mouth, eagerly tasting you. You moan into it, not protesting when he presses you back into the bed. 

His fingers dip under the waistband of your jeans. You lift your hips to help him tug them the rest of the way down until they’re dropping to the floor quietly. You have a million questions dancing on the tip of your tongue but you can’t find it in yourself to actually voice any of them. You don’t want to break the moment. This is the first time he’s seemed comfortable going further than kissing and some heavy petting. 

“Fuck,” he whispers. Your hips jolt as he runs a thumb over the wet spot on your panties. “All this just from kissing?” He asks, a teasing lilt to his tone. You feel your face flush, cheeks warming when you realize he’s never actually seen just how much he affects you. “Relax,” he tells you, squeezing your thighs once before slipping a few lithe fingers under the band of your panties. 

He tugs them down, but the second he sets eyes on you he gets too impatient to take them off the rest of the way. They dangle off one ankle while he lifts your thighs, setting them on his shoulder and dipping down to press a gentle kiss against you. You gasp at the contact, head tilting back while you instinctually grind your hips up against him. 

It’s been a long time since you’ve actually been with anyone and you already know you’re going to cum embarrassingly quick because he fucking devours you. You’ve had boyfriends who liked to eat you out before, but this is something completely different. 

He drags his tongue over you, sucking on your clit like it’s his only true joy in life. You can’t even make noises, your jaw hanging slack while you cant your hips higher. He groans when you grind against his face, shaking his head and flicking his nose across your bud. You nearly come from the sight of him smiling against your cunt alone. You feel it building slowly, and it’s like your powers are swelling up along with your release. 

Wade’s knicknacks are floating off the shelves, some of them rotating in the air, others fluctuating between liquid and solid forms. You can’t control yourself, you’re barely aware of the chaos happening in the room around you. You just feel a warmth at the tips of your toes, swelling over your body, making your skin feel too tight. There’s little to no warning when you cum. He dips his tongue inside you and you let out a long moan, drenching his face. 

The sheets are soaking wet underneath you and you know you’ve ruined his shirt. You’ve never come that hard before and you would reflect on that more if he wasn’t still fucking eating you out. You think your brain is going to melt out of your ears, you're so overwhelmed by all the different sensations.

He dips his tongue into you, dragging out your orgasm and drinking as much of you down as he can. Your hips keep twitching, you’d be thrashing out of his hands if it wasn’t for the near brushing grip he has on your hips. “Fuck fuck fuck,” you reach down, grabbing his hair at the roots and tugging. He groans at the feeling, barely leaning an inch back. “No more,” you whisper, chest heaving. 

He smiles, palms smoothing across the skin of your thighs, “You okay?” 

“Mhm,” you hum weakly. Your head falls back against the bed with a dull thunk and you struggle to catch your breath. “Holy shit, where did you learn to do that?” He doesn’t answer, just laughs. You jump slightly when he presses a tender kiss on your thigh, every part of you oversensitive. 

He moves slowly up your body, hands dragging your shirt up until he’s pulling it over your head. He cups your cheeks, letting you recover while he kisses your cheeks and face. You laugh slightly at the feeling of his beard tickling you. 

You pull back, meeting his gaze for a long drawn-out moment before you lean forward to finally kiss him back. You can feel yourself slowly coming back into your body. Your limbs tingle back to life while you lazily make out with him. 

His hands drift down your chest, squeezing your breasts. You laugh against his lips, arching into his touch. You reach back, unclipping your bra and throwing it off somewhere in the room. In the far reaches of your mind, you make a mental note to take that when you go. You don’t want to think about what Wade would do with it if he found it. 

Logan pulls back from you and your lips tip down at the serious look he wears. Your fingers trace the lines of his face and you tilt your head in question. “What’s wrong?” You whisper. You’re completely naked before him and he’s still clothed, you don’t want him to leave now. 

He can’t keep doing this to you. He can’t keep forcing you into these vulnerable positions and then leaving. There’s only so much rejection you can take before you start to resent him for it. 

He tilts his head down, gaze dragging across your body appreciatively. He’s looking at you like you’re art and it makes you feel like you should be in a museum somewhere. Finally, his hand drags down from your chest, wrapping around your waist and dragging you onto his lap. 

You brace your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. He leans towards you, lips trailing lightly across your jaw. “You’re not her,” he whispers against your skin. Your mouth parts, a pained breath slipping through. You try to move back from him. You hadn’t expected something like that, not now, not when you thought you’d made so much progress together. 

To have you naked, vulnerable like this, and then say something like that to you. It was fucking despicable. You shove his shoulders back but he barely moves. You shift, trying to cover yourself and fighting off the urge to cry. Why won’t he let you go? Why does he keep doing this to you? 

He reaches out, snatching up your wrist before you can get far. “I don’t want you to be. I never wanted you to be her, I need you to know that.”

He tries to kiss you but you snatch his jaw in your hand before he can. You let your nails dig in until there’s red blooming under your fingertips. He hisses, but he’s not mad, you can feel how much he enjoys the little pinpricks of pain. 

“No more pulling away,” you warn. “I’m not playing this damn game with you anymore, Logan. You want me, then commit.” You release him with a shove and his pupils dilate with want. You appreciate the gentle way he’s been treating you, but you know you’re both holding back. 

He’s the first partner you’ve been with that can actually take what you give and vice versa. There’s something only mutants understand sometimes. You normally have to hold back, have to make sure you don’t scare a guy off by making the walls shake when you come. 

You push him down onto the bed. Hands sliding under the hem of his shirt and running over the grooves of his muscles. You haven’t had a chance to appreciate just how gorgeous his body is before, but nothing is holding you back now. 

You snap your fingers and the buttons rip open, he surges forward catching your lips with his while you both frantically push his shirt off. He throws it off to the side and his fingers fumble with his belt buckle while you trail kisses down his neck. You glance up at him for a second before biting down on a particularly sensitive spot. 

He groans, head rolling back while you grin against his skin. You make your way back to his lips. “Don’t hold back,” you tell him, trailing your hands down to his fists and running over the spots where the claws come out. 

“Sweetheart,” he starts tone apprehensive. You shake your head, shutting him up with a kiss. 

“Don’t. Hold. Back.”

It’s like a switch flipping. Even the way he looks at you changes. You’re not something to be cherished and adored. You feel like a deer pinned by a wolf. He’s got you in his clutches now and there’s a real possibility you might not survive this. 

He stands up, dropping you on the bed and dragging your hips off the edge. He doesn’t kick his jeans off, just lowers them enough for his cock to hang out. You’ll address the fact that he wasn’t wearing boxers later, you’re too worried about what’s hanging between his legs right now. 

You’re no virgin, but goddamn, there’s no way that’s going to fit. 

He laughs, the noise cruel and it makes shivers crawl down your spine. “We’ll make it work, kid.” He spreads your legs and you tilt your hips up, making it easier for him to just sip inside. 

There’s a slight stretch, but you’re already soaked for him. You’ve been waiting for this to happen since you walked in on him naked in your bathroom. “Oh, shit,” you toss your head back, taking in a deep breath while he pushes in. It feels like he’s rearranging your insides, molding you to fit him perfectly. 

You can already feel yourself clenching down, just being so close to him is enough to make that tingle in the tips of your toes start. He leans down, placing your legs over his elbows and rutting into you like a wild animal. There’s nothing gentle or slow about this. 

You’re both so pent-up, tired from the weeks of dancing around each other. Your nails drag up his back, blood following your movement. Your powers are actively surging against him, pain only driving you further into each other’s arms. 

You can hear his breathy grunts and groans in your ears and it’s music to you. Neither of you cares about the party going on just outside the door. You’re loud, skin slapping against skin while you loudly call out his name. 

God, you hope they hear you. Hope they realize just how thoroughly you’re wrecked for each other. You can feel yourself getting closer, hips stuttering against his while you struggle to match his pace. “Come on,” he mutters in your ear. He releases one of your legs to reach down and rub your clit. 

“Fuck,” you groan, reaching up and tugging at his hair while your back bows. It only takes a few more tight circles of his thumb before you’re spasming around him. He’s quick to follow behind you. 

He pins your hips to the bed, dropping your legs while he thrusts faster. He loses his rhythm, the muscles of his abdomen flexing as he cums inside you. It’s like a mini death, you feel like you’ve lost time when you finally manage to come back to yourself. 

And when you roll your head to the side you realize just how much damage you’ve done to Wade’s bed. “Shit,” You glance up at the sound of his voice and notice little droplets of blood on your hips. Logan’s claws are out, stuck in the fluff of the bed. 

You force the words out, tongue heavy in your mouth. “Do that often?”

“Not really,” he mutters. The claws retreat and he rubs his fingers over the blood. It’s not bad, you’ve honestly done worse to yourself. It’s like a big paper cut. When the rough pad of his fingers presses against the cut you hiss at the sting, nearly enjoying it. 

“Must be special,” you tell him with a cheeky grin. He shakes his head with a laugh and takes his time pulling out. You hate the loss of him inside you but it's a slight relief. He's larger than any partner you’ve ever had and it’s almost overwhelming to be so full. 

“Come on, let's get you dressed.” He pats your thighs, glancing around for your clothes. 

“Uh, Logan,” he looks up and you glance at his still very hard cock. “I thought you came?”

The smile he gives you is slightly terrifying. Because there’s a promise in it. He’s not getting you dressed for no reason. He’s taking you back to your apartment so you can have more fun where there are less people and fewer reminders of Wade. “Stamina's part of the deal, sweetheart.”

“Oh,” you whisper, voice breathless in shock. You wipe the cum off your legs with Wade’s sheets. You feel like you’ve thoroughly gotten revenge on him for destroying your favorite bed set. Maybe, you’ve gone a little farther than revenge, though. 

You feel guilty, looking around the room and seeing everything you destroyed. Once you’re dressed, you wave your hand, putting most things back where they belong. But there’s nothing you can do about the bed. The sheets are soaked with a mixture of yours and Logan’s releases and there are six holes dug deep in the bed from his claws. 

When you step out of the room with Logan, struggling to press down your hair and get it back into place, Blind Al is waiting by the door. She’s doing a line off the back of her hand when you pass by. You think you’ve almost made it scott-free when she yells, “Man, I wish I couldn’t fucking hear,” at you. 

You tense up, shoulders to your ears while you run to the door. Logan laughs, grabbing your coat for you and pressing a hand to your back while he leads you to the apartment. “Weren’t feeling so embarrassed earlier,” he teases. 

“Shut up,” you grumble, dragging him into the apartment to finish what you couldn’t on Wade’s bed. 

You’ve managed to keep any holes out of your bed, you just have to use your powers to keep his at bay. It’s nice, not having to explain why everything around you is levitating to the person you’re having sex with. There were a lot of awkward conversations that came from that. 

You’re lying on Logan’s chest, fingers idly running over the veins in his biceps. “I want to be serious about this,” you tell him. 

His hand pauses from where it’d been stroking your back. You sit up on your elbow so you can get a better look at him. “I mean it, I,” there’s no way to say this without sounding like a complete bitch. You just have to rip the bandaid off. 

You take in a deep breath, “I know that you still miss her,” you say, unwilling to say her name. Logan sits up, looking more serious now. “But I don’t want to be with you if you think that I’m going to turn into her. Or if you think that I’m the last connection you have to her. I’m not her, Logan, and I'm never going to be her.”

You expect anger on his face or regret, maybe. But you don’t expect him to laugh at you. You roll your eyes, lips pursed while you wait for him to finish. He notices the pissy expression on your face and quiets down, but you still see a smile fighting on his lips. 

“I know you’re not her. You could not be more different” he tells you with a slight smirk, like there’s an inside joke you’re missing out on. “I was married to her for a long time and I loved her. But we had our time together. Now, I just want my time with you. You’re not her,” he leans forward, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. “That’s why I want you.”

You feel your heart flutter in your chest and have to fight to keep a stupid grin off your face. “Okay,” you whisper. “Good, well as long as we’re on the same page,” you tell him, faux serious. He just rolls his eyes and pulls you back into his arms. 

You’re going to cuddle up beside him when you hear your phone going off like crazy on your nightstand. Your face pinches in confusion and you reach over to grab it. 

Wade

Did you fuckers have sex???

In my bed!!!!

And you didn’t invite me?!

….

Wade

Tell Logan I want his claws in me next

“Fuckin’ dumbass,” you mutter, throwing your phone somewhere on the bed. Logan laughs again, drawing you closer. 

a/n: i have a really weird tendency for masochism, idk what that’s about. I just feel like if you were having sex with this man, he’s taking you like a wild animal. also feel like I might be a one-hit wonder. the smut just wasn’t doing it for me this time guys nor was the angst, i’m disappointed in myself

I just don't think I did justice to his character in the movie, I might have made it too OOC/ if I did PLEASE let me know

end. — I do not own the characters or the comics/movies Wolverine/X-Men, but this writing is my own all rights reserved © not-neverland06 2024. do not copy, repost, translate & recommend elsewhere.

General Taglist: @evasmlp

Logan Taglist:  @nonamevenus ♡

[muntitled]

𝐒𝐥𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲 | 𝐇𝐚𝐳𝐞𝐥 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐧

Hazel Callahan x F!Reader

Summary: "Jesus, dude, do you know what it means when a gay girl says they wanna have a "slumber party?"

Warnings: Hyper Feminine!Reader, Language, Fluff, Jealousy, Humor, Reader has a crush, Confessions, Teasing, Smut (+18, Minors DNI), Dom!Hazel, Humping, Grinding, Masturbation, Pillowprincess!Reader tbh, Thigh Riding, Public sex, Risky Sex, Massive Degradation Kink, Power Play, Ownership Kink?, Praise Kink, Slight!Hate sex ♡

Part two >

Hazel Callahan was rarely included into anything vaguely external, she would venture to say that she was even rarely included in her own thoughts. Therefore, infuriatingly, painfully aloof Hazel thought nothing of the invite you had presented to the entire group at Fight Club.

Why should she feel special?

Things like this seldom warranted her definite response, so when all the girls had affirmed their attendance, Hazel was... discombobulated to find a silence of anticipation growing pregnant in the gym.

It took a sharp stab in the ribs from PJ for Hazel to swing her head back into this specific reality in the space-time continuum. A reality in which you sat adjacent to her in a circle, legs crossed dainty underneath you to better accommodate the neatly pressed pleads in your pink skirt. There was nothing remarkably profound from you carrying yourself like the pretty princess you thought you were, what strikes Hazel as odd, however, was the look of expectancy in your dark eyes- a look you directed at… her?

"What?"

"You're coming? To my slumber party tonight?" you reiterate stifling the need to pat down at your braids corralled into a pink headband. You are basking under the scrutiny of her gaze but you also happened to suffer under it too. The longer Hazel watched you with furrowed brows, and her knee propped up to her chest, the longer you keened forward as if desperate to hear her say-

"Of course she's coming," PJ once again injects herself in between the two of you. "We'll all be there," You're perhaps nodding at PJ and Josie but your eyes are unable to leave the absolute prison that Hazel has them in. She does nothing except nod as well, before leaving you to your clique who all sit prettily under clouds of Chanel number 5.

The interaction replayed within the confines of Hazel's head throughout the rest of the school day. Right up until she finds herself, nestled in a car with Josie and PJ, taking the short drive in the more affluent neighbourhood from her place to yours.

"So, Hazel," the lascivious tone in PJ's voice already has her rolling her eyes as the car slows before an egregious house. "Are you ready to lose your virginity tonight?"

"Jesus Christ-" Murmurs Josie before PJ assumes what is expected to be your tone of voice- only its a hyperbolic and a higher in pitch reenactment of the real thing.

"Oh Hazel! I'd really like for you to come to my slumber party tonight!" All three girls leave the car as PJ continues her comedic display of seduction as she brushes up against Hazel and says "I really want you at my slumber party."

Hazel laughs as PJ grabs a hold of her upper arm, exposed from her open black button up and tank top. "You're coming right?" PJ sobers up as she says, "That's hot girl speak for "You're going to be cumming inside me-"

Josie does not keep her eyes off the approaching house as she interjects with, "Girls can't cum in other girls"

"Wow!" Hollers PJ, "-And here I was thinking you actually believed that girls can do everything that guys can do-"

"Wait," Hazel's eyes are on her shoes as she readjusts her tote bag and says, "You think she actually wants to like... fuck?" She lowers her voice drastically in the wake of making it up to your front door as she bends and reiterates, "Like actually fuck me?"

There is, frankly no time for Hazel to get a firm response on such a discombobulating thought because you quickly open the front door, and your skin is glowing everywhere from being completely exposed in your pink satin shorts and matching camisole set. Your hair is still loose as it frames your face- your round and constantly smiling face. Why had Hazel never noticed you until now?

Perhaps she did.

Perhaps she negated the possibility of forming a crush on you because you appeared so painfully… straight?

But here you are, smiling at her and only her. Your eyes had been bright at the sight of Hazel and her button up and how outrageously attractive she looked in a tank top but your smile dims significantly when you peer down at PJ'S hand still wrapped around Hazel's forearm.

"H-Hey," Said Hazel, with her voice that reminded you so vividly of a midnight snowstorm,

"Hey," you replied back, quickly turning away. Your mood had already been cemented for the rest of the evening. Despite it being your slumber party, you let your best friend host while you continued to wallow in the regret of your own unshakeable feelings. You hated that PJ and Hazel were very clearly a couple, but what you hated perhaps more, was that you still wanted her. You stole longing glances at her in your space, lazing on your bed while the rest of you sat encircled on the floor in sleeping bags. Hazel completely hijacked your entire brain throughout all the games and activities.

You had lost yourself in her presence and that only kicked up a notch when you felt a pair of forearms lazily splay onto your shoulders from above. With your bum still on the floor and your back against the foot of your bed, Hazel had decided to humour her turn in Truth or Dare. While she answered, she let her legs frame your body. So that it swung over the side of the bed, perfectly framing your sides.

Breathing had been impossible. So impossible in fact, you didn't know it was your turn until it took Hazel bringing her lips down to your ear. Your nerves had been shot to hell as she whispered, "Dove, it's your turn."

You cursed this idea and you cursed this wretched slumber party.

Luckily, It passed by in a significant blur that left you still riding on the high of being in Hazel's personal space until bedtime at 1am. While the girl's drifted into their own sleep, your eyes remained on the pink chandelier hanging from your ceiling while you cradled your stuffed frog to your chest. No matter how hard you try, sleep is a difficult thing to come by. You are left to your thoughts of the girl sleeping on the floor, while gentle snores sounded in the room.

"Fuck," you almost instinctively mutter as you find your hand drifting past your navel. You spread your leg ever so slightly before pushing your hand into your underwear. The quicker you came, the quicker your body could finally be allowed to slip into actual slumber. It sounded like a solid plan, and you had already taken to grinding your wet cunt against your hand- until it all went to hell and your duvet is being pulled slightly off of you.

You're quick to remove your hand and grab a hold of your covers as your eyes snap open to stare at the silhouette above you. Hazel's hair is a spectacular mess on her head and her skin shines orange from the glow of your salt lamp.

"Let me in," she whispers, not really waiting for a response before she's forcing herself into your covers, scooching you on the right side of the bed.

"What are you-"

"Shh," it's embarrassing, how quick you are to snap your mouth shut and heed her commands. Hazel's stomach warms significantly at how docile you are and she smiles as she says, "I cant sleep and I had the vague suspicion that you couldn't either." Hazel says, propping her exposed forearm under her head as she looks up at your ceiling. Her button up is discarded somewhere in the room, leaving her in basketball shorts and a tank but you're not complaining. Not at all.

"I told myself I'd be more intentional with my actions, and my actions are telling me to kiss you right now, but my feelings are telling me you might not want that." You're corraled into stark and naked shock as you watch the girl you've always wanted, confess to you in your bed. It feels unreal. The longing stares, the hours you've spent writing amatuer poetry in your notes app about her, the amount of times you made yourself cum with her heavy on your mind.

This does not feel real.

"Jesus," your voice is uncharacteristically coarse as you rush to say, "Dude, do you know what it means when a gay girl says they wanna have a "slumber party."

Hazel appears stunned as she watches you with wide eyes, "Well yeah," Says Hazel, "but… do you know what it means?"

"I've liked you since junior year," Your confession has her mind going hazy as she tries to recall all the subtle hints which she effortlessly discarded as you just being kind.

"God, you're such an idiot!" You release a chuckle that momentarily stirs a sleeping girl laying closest to the bed in her sleeping bag.

"Shh," Hazel's finger is pressed softly to her lips, you nod slowly only able to process mimicking her own actions.

"What were you doing just a second ago?" She says, swiftly removing the attention from her and her stupidity, replacing the atmosphere instead, with something much more dangerous. There's a difference in her whispers, a tone that has you melting into the covers as you unconsciously squeeze your legs shut. In this moment, she could ask anything of you, and you would simply comply. The silence stretches like honey between the two of you, and Hazel watches with doe eyes as you sink into your shame.

"You don't have to say anything." She finally whispers back, freeing you from your internal damnation but not completely letting you off the hook as she continues: "Just move your hips for me." It was an aggressively passive instruction that exploded a bundle of charged electricity between your legs. You are trapped in a distinctly uncomfortable position between wanting to comply, but wanting to be stubborn. The discomfort of these emotions are not entirely unwanted.

"Do you want me to show you how?" There is a challenging glint in her eyes that simulates the peroration of whatever the hell this is that you are both about to do.

This non-relationship which is so innately a relationship.

"Yeah." Your voice rocks with the signs of an oncoming tempest alerting your body to the possibility of something very, very exciting on the horizon.

Time and space seems so few and far in-between as Hazel keeps you arrested in those blue, endless hues. Examining her features keeps your wanton, unwinding nerves chaotically at bay. There is an intense exchange of control as Hazel shuffles closer, until her head is resting on your pillow and your both breathing into each other's parted lips.

She almost restlessly sets her palm onto your body, her hands on a slow path down your hips. It gives you a sliver of control knowing that bubbling behind her dilated pupils is a need that haunts her just as greatly.

"I'm gonna show you, okay?" She does not need to repeat herself but you recognize her words for what they are: masked behind the excitement and the charged atmosphere, is a real, and genuine need for consent.

The very moment you hopped over this threshold, you would forever be locked in a world anew. There would be no take backs. Your actions would forever be transcribed on the sacred tablet of our shared history.

"Are you going to show me, Hazel?" Desire is seated comfortably on top of your lungs and you speak only in soft pants, "Because it really feels like you're all bark and no bite."

There is a flash of excitement that sweeps momentarily over her lidded lustful gaze.

Her hands are much more sure of themselves as they lock into your sides, her fingers digging rudely into your silk pyjama bottoms.

"Shouldn't you be taking those off?" You ask cheekily.

A scoff slips through her lips as she shifts just a tad closer, her face now centimetres from yours. "You're awfully needy." Hazel whispers, "It's incredibly embarrassing."

What would prove to be even more embarrassing is the jarring way your hips stutter the very moment those words leave Hazel's lips. Your accidentally whorish slip up might have gone unnoticed were it not for the annoying fact that her right leg was seated quite cosily between your legs.

"Shut up," is all you manage to say - a desperate attempt at scrambling for your dignity crumbling in the bed between you.

Hazel laughs airly. Slowly, her hands at your hip begin to move, subsequently allowing your hips to move. A soft and slow moan passes through your lips, drowned out by the sound of sleeping girls as your eyes flutter shut.

"Hey," Hazel's lips are fully touching yours now, "Look at me." She could've never anticipated how the fucked out look in your eyes could ever make her feel. Your eyebrows are curved, as if you're in pain as you hump slowly against her thigh. The coarseness of the silk and her thigh pressing against your aching cunt… it makes everything feel so overwhelmingly real, unmarred by great expectations. The thump of her heart underneath your palm is so incredibly real. The beads of sweat growing pregnant on her forehead are real. Her dry, parted lips pressed against yours is in fact real.

"What are you thinking about?" It strikes you then that you had been a muddled, mindless haze, humping against her thigh with an urgency.

"I'm thinking about you." You reply, truthfully.

"Good things, I hope?" It is so unimaginable, the way her voice is able to remain so incredibly steady while yours is as shaky as a walrus thumping across an icy lake.

"I don't suspect anyone has ever had a single good thought about you." You shoot back and the fingers gripping your hips lock tighter, nearly prompting you to apologise.

The only other option left for you to exhaust is clamping your mouth shut as Hazel's hand assumed a much more aggressive administration. She grips on the plush skin at your sides with an unnecessary hardness, as if she wanted to tear in into you.

"See, I was gonna fuck you," it is absolutely shameful, the whimper that escapes your lips, "But now I'm gonna make you hump my leg like the slutty little girl you are." Before you could scold her, or perhaps violently disagree, rudely, before your cries of indignation could ever be forced out, Hazel is lifting you up from your side of the bed, her head shifting until her brown curls cover your pillow fully.

She turns onto her back, never releasing eye contact as she forces you down so you're straddling her steepled knee. The new position leaves you searching for a new anchor.

"Your hands are pushing down on my hair-" she grumble-whispers.

"If you'd let me finish faster that wouldn't be as much of a problem now, would it?" Hazel's response, in lieu of her thoroughly unimpressed face, had been to grind her thigh further against your core, eliciting a wanton, broken moan into the air.

"You're gonna have to be quiet, Dove." Her voice is gravel, "Wouldn't want anyone seeing how much of my whore you are, would you?" The sound of your own moans slam back into you as you press your pussy incredibly closer to her leg.

"Imagine what they might think of you? Our little star pupil getting herself off on my leg? Is that really all it takes to please you?" Staying quiet had become an unimaginable feat, a mountain that becomes even more difficult to surmount when Hazel's eyes search frantically over your crippling form for a trigger that might send you over the edge.

You couldn't begin to imagine how powerful she must feel watching your hips move wantonly on her thigh while your hooded eyes displayed desperation.

You feel so thoroughly hers, a previous existence in which you went without her hard ministrations guiding you to orgasm felt completely in vain. You want nothing more than to be so incredibly good to her, and the thought that she might want the same way sends you to an early grave.

"You're doing so well, Baby. Keeping going." An embarrassing wave of pleasure ripped straight through your spine leaving a trail of shivers in its wake. There is no mistaking that your reaction to her praise and her validation had not gone unnoticed.

Your pussy is completely soaked against her leg, burdened with the knowledge that it wants something but it didn't exactly know what.

"I need you," you whisper. Before your own shame might wave away the pleasure, you are delighted at the moan that slips through Hazel's parted lips.

You had been so thoroughly enamoured by your own pleasure, you had not stopped to consider hers. The pillow princess stereotype brought with it a wave of shame as you looked down and found her hips stuttering slowly against yours.

"I'm right here, Dove."

And you both began to melt for each other. Your legs are tangled in one another while her thigh is pressed against your clit at the same time your thigh is pressed between her legs as well.

You are pleasantly surprised when you begin to feel the fabric of Hazel shorts moving against your own legs slotted in between her. You didn't have to picture how gloriously lecherous it might have looked, using each other so blatantly to fulfil a need that had begun simmering since forever. "Oh fuck, you're so pretty," her hand finds purchase against your breast, tweaking your nipples until they hardened against the camisole while her other hand was comfortably gripping your jaw, staring up at you with lustful eyes.

"You don't even know how perfect you look right now," you did not speak a word of a lie. Watching Hazel's long and domineering form writhing underneath you is a mental image you wish to keep stored in your chest of sacred memories forever. It is discombobulating, watching someone so used to walking so tall and unbothered, being made a complete mess underneath you.

You never wanted this moment to end.

"I want you to kiss me." She croaks, despite already bringing your face close to hers by the strength of a single grip. Her eyes search yours for something. You only hope that grinding yourself even faster against her leg is a testament to whatever it is she might've been looking for. Soon, her lips crash onto yours. When Hazel Callahan kisses, she kisses sloppily and disastrously as if she wanted to swallow you whole before you ever thought of escaping. Her lips are all encompassing, her tongue is restless, pushing itself into your mouth with avid determination.

You moan softly into her mouth. A sound she appreciates greatly given the way her hips began to move against your thigh with a matching ferocity. Her hand slithers along your back, until she cups a handful of your ass, dragging your pussy once again against her, at her desired pace.

Rough. Arresting. Frantic.

"You're being too loud," She sighs, breaking away from your lips to trail them down your neck. "You're being too fucking loud-"

"Fuck, Hazel I'm close-" Your legs are locked against hers but the hand on your ass keeps your hips moving by proxy. "I'm so close."

"You're gonna cum for me, Dove?"

"Oh God, I love it when you call me that-" There is an embarrassing pool of wetness accumulated between your legs, dripping through your shorts and onto her skin. She is equally as wet and that fact only spurs you on.

"I need you to cum for me, baby?" Her stuttering hips told you her own release is dangerously close, sitting on the horizon. Perhaps your orgasm had bled into something prideful, her need to make you cum first caused her to delay her own release.

"You're fucking unbelievable." You sigh with troubled realisation.

She uncovers herself from your chest, panting heavily without her hips ever stopping. "You're gonna cum first, okay?" She nods, persuading you to mimic her movements because despite everything, you are putty in her hands.

"Okay."

As she kisses you once more her hand travels back to your now exposed boob. Between your kiss, Hazel had somehow managed to haphazardly lift your camisole enough to expose your breasts.

A straggled sound leaves the back of your throat as your orgasm crested.

She succeeded in making a mess of you. Your hair had been set free, braids spilling like wild snakes down your torso.

"Oh God, oh fuck-" a hand slaps over your mouth. Hazel's eyes are wide as she continues to guide your hips to release.

"Such a good little Dove, aren't you?" Your eyes are blown with stars and pixie dust as you nod drunkenly. She's humping your thigh and you're humping hers and soon the orgasm sneaks up on you, stealing your breath right from inside your lungs. Your strangled moan is muffled by her palm.

Her eyes take it all in with a very certain hunger, drifting from watching her own hips grinding your thigh, to the choked expression of utter euphoria splashed against your face.

"Fuck, baby." Her Eyebrows knot as her breathing picks up. The pressure visibly building across her face is nearly enough to send you back into your pool of euphoria.

"Oh fuck- oh baby," The wave of pleasure that courses through her is violent and incredibly validating. It is you who had gotten her to this point, humping your leg so desperately as if it might be the only thing she could ever hope to achieve. For someone who had built such a notable reputation for always mainting an I-dont-give-a-fuck mentality, this feels like an immense achievement for you.

Once the smoke clears, and Hazel finds herself back on planet earth, the relics of her euphoria register as intermittent aftershocks. The dawn of what you had just done begins to settle and almost instinctively, you revert to your teasing.

"How nice of you to finally join us," you are still hovering above her, her long neck craning to look at you.

"You talk a lot of shit for someone who squeaks when she cums."

The dampness between your legs is a reminder. "You're gonna learn to take just as much as you give sooner or later," You don't miss the hint of a promise thinly veneered along that whisper. Choosing to ignore the fluttering in the pit of my stomach at the sound of it alone, you climb off of her and back to your space on the bed.

"What's its name?" Hazel asks, peering into the darkness to bring your stuffed frog back into your arms. "You strike me as someone who gives their stuffed toys names."

You're still out of breathe as you reply, "Texas,"

She cracks a smile at that. Before you can finally drift off, a hand slips across your hip, trailing over your torso before brushing over your breast and staying there. "I'm gonna buy you one...I wanna watch you hump it like you just did my leg okay?"

All you're able to do is nod.

[warmilikeit]

Isekai reader x Batfam (Neglected au)

Female reader

Preview

______________________________

Your sister looks at your frustrated face then laughs "Are you reading those irritating Batfam fics again?", you stop looking at your scream and groan "bro, why is everyone in these types of fics insufferable!?"

"dude your blood pressure is going to spike" your brother played some Mozart on his phone speaker "just chill okay?"

You put your phone down "Do we have any chips?", your mother scans the fridge "no, we ran out, do you wanna go to the store?"

"yes, yes, yesss, dad money" you turn to your father, he pulls out his card and hands it to you "also pick me up some broccoli juice"

And then you got hit by a car, shit.

______________________________

"I am so fucked." You wake up in a typical "Batfam x Neglected reader", a story where the reader usually gets their family's attention when they leave or DIE

you stare at the screen In front of you

Mission #3: Up Damian's hate by 10%

Time: 24 hours

Reward: 100 points

Penalty: Electrocution

Current points: 200

Use of money: unlocked online shop. Shop item/s:

•1500 Teleporter

"here we go.... This one is an easy one, who needs 24 hours" So far you have completed the first two missions, you go downstairs to see Damian Wayne eating breakfast and he sees you "oh it's the worthless bitch" he says

"Oh it's the child whose sole purpose is to be a weapon" you spat back

Damian Wayne hatred: 82%»»»86%

He glares at you "Do you have something better to do than to watch tv all day? At least add something to this house, your besting a leech, I feel bad that father has to waste his resources on a daughter like you"

"wow... I didn't know that a parent's duty is to provide for their kid, don't you have patrol? Go beat someone up"

Damian Wayne hatred: 86%»»»89%

"it's my day off, and I want to spend it without seeing a parasite so get out of the manor" Damian grits his teeth

You slouch on the dining chair adjacent to him and grab an apple "Well you can't always have it your way, if I had it my way you'd be the one getting beat rather than the thugs" you bite the apple

Damian Wayne hatred: 89%»»»94%

Hatred upped by 12%

Mission completed- Reward given

+100 points

______________________________

[sukioyakio]

Part two of

siren Sukuna

Previous part

an:I didn’t expect that people wanted more but anyway here we go 😝 i didnt. Proread this

Siren Sukuna who was inside the pond in the cave,just swimming to wake up his fins,the only reason why he stays in the cave is because underneath the pond it leads into the ocean.He had already heal your wounds from whatever attack you.

Siren Sukuna who instantly hears a loud irritating voice coming from the surface of the pond.He immediately knew that it was coming from the human mouth.He already started to swim up to the surface of the pond.

“Ahhh!!” You screamed out as you gasp out air as you look around to see the pond.You quickly realized that you woke up from a dream. A dream where you saw a giant looking half naked fish creature coming towards you and then eating you.Which wasn’t true as you start to relax,letting out a sigh.

“What a crazy dream”You muttered.

You saw that your knees were healed,which you didn’t question how they got healed as you started to move your legs.As you felt more confident to stand up going towards of where the light is.And then splashes sound come out the pond.

“And where you think you are going?”

Your body froze from hearing that low authority voice,as you slowly began turned your head to see the same creature that was in your dream.You started to sweat fear.

”Don’t tell me that you completely forgot about your deal that you made with me women”Sukuna question with as he glares at you.His reds eyes glowing like fire under the pond shine.

Siren Sukuna Who just wonder how stuipd you are,he could easily kill your with a flinch of his nail.As he watches how you are sweating in fear which makes him smirk in mockery.

You just gave up your soul,as you really didn’t want to die,as you walked towards the half naked fish creature,As you cursed yourself for making a deal with something like that. Now sitting on edge of the wet rocky surface of the pond. Sukuna was there watching your everything movement,and was even surprised of how quickly you summit to him.’wow,this women is seriously wont even fight back’

“You know fishy dude,I’m completely t-telling you the truth about how nasty tasting I am” You whisper with a bit confidence while stuttering.You refused to look at him,in fear of seeing his crazy sharp teeth.your hands shaking a bit. Sukuna looks at you completely amused by how confident you are to tell him that part;that his lips widened and then Laughter erupted from him,taunting you with his laughter.

Siren Sukuna who tells you the argument on the deal,You have to bring him food from the city and come back here so that you don’t forgot about the deal.In which your sparkle in delight because a thought of your running away from him and never coming come in thought.But Sukuna isn’t stuipd and put a spell on you that he can put to work whenever he wants. The spell is just a simple shock of pain onto your body.

Siren Sukuna Who for the first few days has never wanted to drown you or cut your mouth up.Everyday you would stay in the cave just minding yourself before you go find food or You started to ask him question about himself.And at times you beg for him to find somewhere where there is light instead of a dark cave.

”Sooo Mr Fish have you ever tried eating yourself?”You asked him without looking at him but instead at the ceiling of the dark cave.

“What-“

“Is there a reason why you have red eyes,I don’t hate it but do you think you could change my eyes colors like yours?”

“No Are you-“

“Do sea creatures speak to you?that really fricking cool if you can” You asked him with a wide smile,smiling to yourself. ”Stop it-“ ”Are you half witch half fish or Your half fairy half mermaid?” You asked him with your eyes shining in amazement at the thought of that.But quickly disappears after hearing his voice.

“Enough with the fucking question brat,before I drown you” Sukuna replied with a harsh tone,that made you shivering in thought. ——-

It was late at night when you were on your way back to the cave with a food that you got stole from people houses.In Which you were getting paranoid of someone following you.As you found the damn cave you ran into it,Completely scared of something grabbing you.You mentally cursed yourself out,at night the cave becomes a nightmare of yours.You couldn’t hear anything but your heavy breathing.

when you finally made it where the pond is,and the light from the pond dimmed quiet a lot in the night. You put the food down where it couldn’t touch the wet rocky areas of the pond.You look around to see if you could see Sukuna but you couldn’t see that well in the dark.

“Sukuna?y-you there?”You announce in the silence of the cave,to hear a sound coming from the direction of the opening,which made you flinch,you could hear your heart pounding in your chest. ‘I hate this cave so much’ you said mentally to yourself.

“S-Sukuna stop p-playing with m-mme. . . Please i hate this damn cave,S-sukuna I’m here” You voice so small and scrawny,as another sound was heard closer than the last sound.

“Sukuna! I-i. . . Swear to life-“

“Boo”

“AHHHH!!!I HATE THIS CAVE I HATE THIS CAVE So fucking Much I BEG YOU PLS FIND ANOTHER PLACE PLSS!!!” You screamed out loud as you jump and ended up falling on your ass,as you closed your eyes.As tears fall down your eyes.

Sukuna ‘s haunting laughter is the only thing revealing his presence inside the darkness.

You continue to close your eyes. As He began to speak as he wipes off tears from laughing so hard.

“Your so easy to scared,women ,God that was a good laugh”Sukuna said with a small chuckle as he was just behind you laying on a a large rock the whole time.

”That isn’t fucking Funny,I could’ve have a-a ..-you paused trying to think of the word your trying find-

“Heart Attack ,god You are so fucking stupid” Sukuna spoke for you with his hand pinching the bridge of his nose.

“whatever fried fish,Just please make a change of this damn cave and I got your food ” you mutter underneath your mouth finally opening your eyes and giving Sukuna a glare.

Siren Sukuna Who starts to notice things you do,and how you don’t bring yourself anything to cover up at night,or even when it freeze cold at night.And how you don’t talk much about your familywhich has this man thinking that they probably left because of how talkive you are which is a joke.But he doesn’t bring himself to talk about it because it doesn’t matter to be.

Siren Sukuna who really hates listening to your dumbass story’s. He says

“Then I was going to steal this beautiful cloak that I saw from a rich folk house,and I knew that it would be a challenge going into the house but hey it surprisingly it was easy,I mean the couple left their windows open like who does that unless they didn’t want me in their.I did get my shoulder badly bruised but-“

”and what happened to the cloak?you don’t seem to have it on you” Sukuna bluntly asked you,completely interpreting your story.His face unfazed but there a hint of curiosity in his eyes. ”I’m getting there” You said with a soft smile.

Siren Sukuna Who likes to tease you,it could be with his fin touching you which makes you jumpy or flicking your forehead off when you asking him a dumb ass question.Or pulling you into the pond wetting your body,as you scream in the water at him,ofc he doesn’t have a wide smirk on his face.

“Sukuna I am not gonna get myself wet” You exclaimed as you tried to appear serious about it. ”Oooh is the brat scared of liquid oh my come on what a little water going to do” He replied with a challenge look,Smirking with his white teeth in display.As his eyes had mischief in them. ”Y-yea no am n-not,just I don’t not want to get wet”You replied back with as you cursed yourself for stuttering.As you slightly move backwards from the edges of pond. Sukuna grab your waistline and drags you down onto the pond,As you scream out his name. His tail wagging in the water shinning his dark red fin tail.His chuckle would be heard even under the water. Moreover the water under the pool was very clear with colorful flowers(idk if there flowers underwater)He let go of your waist so you don’t drown in the water.As you started to swim up but you look down at his masculine body to see how pretty he looks with his fin and how his scales on his skin look mesmerizing. As you got on the rocky surface sticking out your middle finger to the surface in the pond.While coughing up water.He just look at you though the water smirking at your little Reactions.

Siren Sukuna who has been quite enjoying your company ever day (he won’t say that much to you).He also didn’t think of using one of spell that he hadn’t used in years.His transformation spell,giving him a human form.As he Only does this at night when he knows your asleep,he walk around the area of the cave to find another place for him to call home.And then he spot a water fall the water fall making a big pond with fishes and inside of it a cave.And he makes a path to let you know.

In which you Were very happy that Sukuna found a new place,and of course he knew you thought that it was some sort of magical guide that lead you there.

Siren Sukuna Who hates whenever you touch his scales,especially his back scales.His faces turns red,and his hand were already slapping your away from you.And he hates when you act so confuse about it.

“Sukuna?what did I do wrong?” You look at with doe eyes and with a raised brow in question,your eyes completely showing confusion. ”Nothing,brat”He says with a harsh tone,as he finds his face with hands,and hiding his flustered face. “Mhmm,can you fishes get sick?” You said genuinely ask him with a serious intent. And which that stop him,and genuinely look at you with a dumbfounded disgust at them.In which he grumbled about how ridiculous your questions are. “Oh my fucking god how the hell did you last this long alive” He harshly said to you as he scoff out.

I kinda lose hope for the last few sentence of them making common sense 😭.But I hope y’all like this one and see y’all in the next.

Please share your thoughts in comments,I always love reading them.

part|||

[planetpedri]

Want you to want it — Pablo Gavi.

Pairing: Pablo Gavi x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your relationship was ending. You knew it was. But why couldn’t he want it—the relationship—to last?

Word count: 756

Disclaimer/s: angst! also i lowkey gave up on the ending thats my bad

A/N: this is like the 2nd draft i ever made and i completely forgot abt it.. oopsies..

It hadn’t always been like this. You used to be madly in love. But now you’d come home from work only to find him sleeping on the couch, leaving your once shared bedroom cold and empty.

Tonight wasn’t any different. You stood in the hallway kicking off your shoes when you noticed movement on the couch. It was the fifth time that week that you’d only spoken to him twice in a day.

Of course you knew he had a busy week with practice and getting ready for the upcoming season, but it still hurt you to go days without a loving word from your boyfriend of three years.

Setting down your purse and keys, you contemplate getting it over with and waking him up, demanding he sleeps in bed tonight.

Hesitantly, you make your way into the living room, but the soft sounds of your feet hitting the floor is not quiet enough. A tussle of light brown hair slowly makes its appearance, a guff voice following after, “hello?” He grumbles out, his voice alone lacking the love it once held.

A burst of something you couldn’t quite name, shoots directly into your heart. Anger, frustration, desperation? Who knows. All you knew was you’d do anything to make him love you again, and he seemed to be doing everything to make you hate him.

“Hey.” You finally reply, your voice soft as you inch around the couch. “Come to bed.”

Gavi glances up, sleep evident on his face as he looks at you for the first time in God knows how many days. “Too tired.” He answers, his head falling back to the pillow with a quiet humph.

Now you knew what you felt, angry. “Bullshit!” You scoff, “bull fucking shit.”

Once again, Gavi’s eyes open, this time the sleep gone from them, replaced with annoyance. “Excuse me?”

“You’ve been avoiding me all week. And now you’re ‘too tired’ to walk ten feet to our bed?” You spat, making sure he caught on to every word you said.

“Yeah? I’m tired, why would I move when i’m already perfectly comfortable?” His tone is condescending and the more he speaks, the more frustrated you become.

Swallowing a bundle of nerves that were begging you to just leave it be, that the conversation could wait. You knew it couldn’t this was a long time coming.

“What happened to you? To us?” You ask, voice hoarse as you felt every emotion rushing to your throat. You let the silence settle, watch as his expression shifts a dozen times before choosing one.

He runs a hand over his face, jaw tightening as he stumbles for words. “Can we just talk about this in the morning?” He finally sighs out.

“No!” You laugh, although it was humorless. “No. We will talk about this now. Pablo, i’ve been trying to make up excuses as to why you have been so withdrawn, but i’m so tired of it. I just want you to want it—our relationship, I want you to want it to last. But you clearly don’t!”

Gavi’s eyes soften, darting around your weary face. He loved you, he did. He knew he did because every time you were near him, his hands ached to touch you. He knew he loved you, because he couldn’t go a second without thinking of you. Until recently, his mind had been all over the place.

He was finishing his last few months of rehab, and he’d been so busy with focusing on his career, he simply lost sight of the relationship.

He couldn’t juggle the two, and at the end of the day, he would have to choose his career. He’d be miserable if he didn’t, and he’d be miserable without you. It was a lose-lose situation.

“I’m sorry.” Is all he had to say. Your lips quiver as you shake your head in disbelief.

“Oh. Wow. Okay.” You nod, placing your hands on your face as you rub your temples. “Got it.”

He calls out your name as you walk to the bedroom, but you ignore it. You ignore him, shutting the door behind you. This was how it ended, he didn’t have to explain it. You knew why it was ending, and as strongly as you wanted to hate him for it, you couldn’t.

Your love for him understood that he needed football to survive, and maybe, you figured, you’ll forgive him for it one day. But for now, you grabbed a suitcase from your closet, and began to pack.

DTS , @halfwayhearted !

[bangchansgirlsblog]

Hey wassup

If you still taking requests may I suggest angsty fic skz xreader where they imply during argument that the MC is after their money (gold digger) idk if it's better as a reaction of all members or maybe it's easier if you just one scenario with one member without adding their names and the readers can imagine whichever member they think is suitable for the scenario

“Such a Gold digger”

- Lee know

Ahh!!! Thank you so much for the request, I hope you enjoy the stories (I’ve made a few with the different boys). 🩷

!Not proofread!

Warnings: Angst/comfort

Pairing: Leeknow x reader

Summary: Basically Leeknow is a jerk and you put him in his place

**

Tired was what Leeknow was.

His muscles ached, his head was pounding and his throat was sore.

When he walked into the door I could tell he wasn’t in the brightest moods. His hair was messy, his eyes were red and cheeks a light pink.

He looked hot tho. He always looked hot.

“Hey baby.” I say putting down the coffee mug and getting up from my comfy position on the couch. I place a gentle kiss on his pink lips and try to lay down his crazy hair which left me on my tiptoes struggling to balance.

“Hey,” he softly says putting his shoes in the wrack and walking straight into the laundry room to drop his bag. A routine he would do so that he was ready for the next day because he hated waking up early to get his stuff together.

“How was your-“ I begin to ask him a question but was cut off by his irritated sigh.

“Y/n where are my dancing sweatpants?” He says loud from the laundry room.

“I haven’t washed it yet my love, it’s in the dirty pile.” I sit back down and pick up my mug. Watching the cats all pile by my feet as we continued to watch what was playing on the tv.

“Are you serious? I asked you to wash them. I need them for tomorrow.” He says frustrated

“Jeez I’ll just put them in right now. No need to be cranky.” I sigh and get up once again to go deal with his little meltdown.

“I’m not being cranky, I just asked you to do one simple thing and you didn’t even do it. God your so annoying sometimes” I take a step back and eye him top to bottom because I was wondering who he was talking to like that.

My eyes squint at him as I try to take in this little attitude he was having. Annoying? I was the annoying one?

“Jeez Leeknow I was just really busy today with-“ I try to cool down the fire that was about to start but he cuts me off again. This time it was getting under my skin.

“I don’t care.” He slams the cupboards in the laundry room trying to look for whatever it was he was looking for. “I’ll do it myself.”

“I can do it leeknow just go rest.” I say reaching out for the stuff in his hands but he shoves past me making me stumble a little. I stood there shocked, so much anger building up. I understood he had a bad day but did he really have to take it out on me. As I rub my elbow I hear him grumble.

“Your nothing but a gold digger” My heart drops as I turn to the man that was now walking past me to go to the kitchen. I grab his arm and furrow my eyebrows.

Pain and anger filling my chest as I try and process what he said. Was he being Foreal right now? What really was his problem?

“What did you just say?”

“Nothing.”

His boy towered over mine. His eyes were dark and sad. To even look at him right now without punching the shit out of him was hard.

“I’m a gold digger? Wow Leeknow.” I repeat his words. I let go of his hand in disbelief. Now I was leaving the room but I stop to look at him. My vision blurry from the tears threatening to fall from my eyes.

“Why do you always have to take out your bad days on me huh? I was busy the whole day trying to get the stuff you need for your stupid tour! I didn’t have time to be running around doing laundry. I’m not a maid. If you really want one hire a fucking assistant. Then you’ll be grateful right? You’re a fucking prick. Oh I even fucking missed Binna (Y/n’s little sister) recital today! So fuck you. I’ve never even asked you for fucking money. Never in my life. You’ve hurt me Leeknow.” And with that I grab my coffee mug and head into the room where I break down crying.

Leeknow was always short tempered but not in a mean way. More of like a “I’m mad at you so don’t talk to me” way.

Why did he have to be a jerk? Why did he have to make sure to throw things at me that he knew would get to me? He never was appreciative.

The bed was warm but felt empty, the pillows swallowed me and the blanket covered my shaking body. Loud sobs leaving my mouth and little sniffles at the end of each cry. What felt like 10 minutes was an hour. The knock on the door making me pretend to be asleep. I hear familiar footsteps come into the room and the bed sinks beside me.

A sigh leaves his lips before he begins to talk.

“Y/nie? My love? Are you awake my love?” He asks softly. His hands drawing circles on my side but I push them away and turn my back on him. Facing the other end of the bed.

“Okay fair enough, I deserve that.” I hear him say, his voice quavering. Was he crying?

“Y/nie, I’m sorry and I know sorry won’t make you forgive me right now but I’m going to find a way to make it up to you okay? What I said was out of line and so not true. I was just tired and stressed and irritated-“

“But that doesn’t matter Minho.” He looks taken back by the name Minho cause I never call him that. “I have bad days too but you don’t see me calling you names and yelling at you when I get home.” I tell him.

“I know and I need to work on it. This is the first and last time I promise. Just give me some time to make it up to you? I love you so much and never ever will I say things to hurt you.” He’s hand searches for mine and I let them intertwine.

“You were a bitch.” I mumble and I hear him chuckle.

“Yes I was but forgive me? I can’t bare you be mad at me anymore especially when I’m going on tour soon.” I let out a little whine complaining.

“Fine a forgive you,” I roll my eyes and he smiles at me.

“You’re so cute Baby.” He automatically gets on top of me and starts kissing my face everywhere which makes me burst in a fit of giggles.

“Get off babe I’m going to explode!” I yell while trying to push him away.

Soonie and the cats all hop onto the bed and cuddle beside me and leeknow as we slowly drift off to sleep. The night being forgotten.

**

Hyunjin’s part will be out soon 🩷

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Always have but never hold

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n I mean won't lie really though I would write more than one part but look at us. But wow, thank you all for the love and support!🤍✨

warning: that same angsty struggle bus.

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Carmy had been awake for some time now. Well, he had been slipping in and out of sleep ever since his usual alarm chimed through the quiet and dark bedroom. Five sharp. You had also stirred, pushing against his chest almost robotically as you moved to get up. You were so used to doing that while half asleep that you didn't even rub your eyes to wake yourself up in the slightest. Just as Carmy had gently tightened his grip around you, "Lay down", he muttered softly. You didn't fight him, nestling your head in the crook of Carmy's neck. He once again placed your bandaged hand on his chest. "Five more minutes", you muttered, but Carmy only shushed you gently, running his fingers through your hair. "I won't sleep, just...", you muttered, a smile tugging on Carmy's lips. You were going to fall asleep. If you hadn't already.

It was as if someone had ripped the blindfold off his eyes yesterday. Only yesterday, right before falling asleep, did Carmy notice how tired you looked, how your cheeks had sunken in slightly, and how your skin looked paler. He hated it because that was what he had driven you to. So right before sleep took over, he promised himself to skip tomorrow. Richie was playing big balls anyway. Maybe allowing him a day to do everything himself would be an eye-opener. Well, Carmen still planned to be there for lunch and dinner. He was too anxious to fully leave the restaurant without watch, but he could let himself miss the breakfast rush. For you.

Carmy pulled your leg further up so it lay comfortably over his legs. Fingers holding onto your naked thigh as he drew different patterns. He brought your hand, resting on his chest, to his lips. Something he had done constantly ever since it was placed there. Staying completely still from time to time just so he could listen to your breathing.

Carmen had also let his mind wander to the dinner when he told Mikey about you. "And there's something more, actually", he had muttered after Mikey had looked over the present in his hands. Carmy remembers feeling stupid almost instantly. Like an idiot. He had thought so much. Running it over and over in his head. He knew that he didn't want to tell anyone else about you. But for some reason, he wanted to let Mikey know.

"You're spoiling me", Mikey joked. "It's not a physical gift... not a gift at all... not related... well", Carmy had stuttered all over, hands running through his hair clumsily, "I met a girl, and I just... we're dating". Back then, Carmen had missed it, but now, looking back at the memory, he was convinced that something sparked within Mikey's eyes. Hope? Joy? Some strange emotions that Carmen hadn't seen before. But one thing Carmen remembered very clearly. It's the words that Mikey had said while clasping his shoulder: "Don't you fucking dare break her heart. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you". Those words had sparked all these emotions back then, and Carmy had said nothing in return. Now he would have said that he knew. Even before all the shit went titts up, Carmen knew that you would be there for him. Through it all.

Now he wanted nothing more but to lecture himself on how he had chosen to neglect you. He felt guilty for just pushing you headfirst into things that were not at all important to you. Carmen didn't even remember the last time he saw you with a brush between your fingers. Did you even have paint in this apartment? Well, you haven't even unpacked the boxes. Living out of them as if wishing that one morning you two will wake up and realize that all of this has just been a nightmare. That you were still growing individually, happy in your own tiny, chaotic bubble. Not sacrificing everything for one another constantly.

You stirred slightly in Carmy's embrace, and he instantly snapped himself out of the trance, moving to run his fingers over your skin in hopes of keeping you sleeping a bit longer. He had forgotten how uneasy your sleep was. Carmen let you hold him through the nights now, following everything that had happened, and stopped paying attention to your nightmares. Fears.

"Hey", your light, groggy voice filled the silence, and Carmy instantly looked down at you. "Hi", he whispered back. A light smile casts across your face, and Carmy wishes he could freeze it in time, especially when it's so quickly replaced by a frown and you shuffle to get up, peeking over at the clock standing on the bedside table. "Shit, fuck, Carm, we are late", you quickly reach for the covers, but Carmy only tightens his grip on you.

"We're not", he mutters, and you look at him all confused. "It's past eight! We have... We haven't... the food". Carmy watches you before moving to lift himself higher on his elbows, one hand reaching for your face. "I know what time it is and what hasn't been done. Just...", he swallows thickly, "Just after last night... After last night, I thought we needed to have a slow morning". And you did have the best sleep in a long time. Leaving your body almost feeling funny at the number of hours it had finally had to rest. You let yourself just sit there. On the thing you two called bed, that was nothing more than a matter on the floor. Carmy slowly ran his fingers over your exposed thighs, not rushing you to wake yourself up fully.

"Do you remember how you would sneak into my room back in New York?", you muttered, and Carmy's cheeks grew pink instantly. You were truly his first crush back then. His first in many ways. He didn't know what longing for someone felt like until you were there, only a door away, and he couldn't go without saying goodbye, without a kiss on your cheek. Awkward as fuck was he with you back then, but you loved him regardless. "Which time when I kiss you or break your bed?", he said in an almost teasing manner, and you let out a chuckle, lowering down to lay beside him once more. "You said it was an accident, but I never bought it. You did it on purpose", you said, tapping your finger on his chest. "How else was I supposed to make sure that you slept with me every night?", Carmy stated, and you burst out laughing, because indeed, ever since then, you had always slept in Carmy's bed.

"I've missed you like this", he muttered, and you instantly tilted your head up so you could see his face. "What do you mean?", "So... so you... just you and alive", he said, and you bit the inside of your cheek. You wanted to tell him that he had nothing to do with it and that it was just life. A series of bad events, but you didn't. Not in the way you wished you would have. "I want you to be okay", you muttered, "If that means losing a part of me, so be it." Carmy nodded, but you could tell that he was slowly slipping back into his head. "I love you", you muttered in hopes of still dragging him out, but he never said it back. Not with words, at least. Carmy pulled you closer to his chest, gently pressing a couple of kisses to the crown of your head.

You two walked hand in hand down towards the restaurant. Talking on and on about little things. The potential slots of free time to finally unpack, the furniture sale down the block from where you lived next Friday. You could tell that the closer you got to the restaurant, the more fidgety he got. His lips thinned, and he dropped your hand so he could pull out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one up as he went. The ache within your chest grew, but then it was your fault for believing that everything could just change in a day.

Tina dropped her cigarette as she saw you two approaching; her hands moved to cup your face as she looked you over, "Oh, mi hija, I was worried sick". You smiled at her, pressing your hands over hers, "All okay, no more bleeding on the counter, chef". You could tell from the look in her eyes that the worry wasn't all just based on the injury; there was more. You walked out, and here you were again. But she dropped it, glancing at Carmy for a moment before bringing you into a quick hug. "You deserve better", Tina muttered, only for you to hear. You pulled away, slightly startled by her words. Turning your head to where Carmy stood, you found an empty spot there.

The cigarette was carelessly burning between your fingers. You had closed the door to the office the moment you stepped inside and had only now slipped out for a smoke. You did catch Richie's gaze from across the hall—maybe even a need to strike up a conversation—but then again, he was most definitely going to scream or say some shit, so you were more than glad to just leave it all behind the wooden door.

"Oh, I...", you didn't hear the crack on the door but managed to catch a glimpse of Sydney, who was already on her way back inside. "No, no, stay; there's enough space for two here", she laughed nervously at your words but stepped out without a second thought. Sitting down on the ledge beside you, Sydney sipped the water out of the plastic jug. "How's your hand?", she asked, pointing to the bandage after a few moments. You looked down to examine it yourself. It still ached slightly, but if you were being honest, you didn't feel it that much now.

"In place", you muttered, clenching and unclenching your fingers. "How's the kitchen?", you threw a glance her way, "Not on fire", she shrugged her shoulders. "Yet", you both said at the same time, and you bust out into fits of giggles once your eyes meet. "I saw the... well, the book of suggestions you have for this place", you said, tapping the cigarette against the edge of the ashtray. Sydney instantly tensed again, "Oh, don't take it personally; just I was messing around and...", "It looked well thought out to me", you said calmly. She was exactly what this place needed. Someone with a head. Well, a well-working head at that. And passion. Finding joy in the hustle of the kitchen. She had that same drive that Carmy used to have back in the day. The glistening spark in her eyes.

"I'm not saying that this place is run badly", Sydney rubbed her hands together nervously, and you instantly threw her a look, so she sighed, knowing full well what it meant. "No, okay, it's shit", she admitted. And she was right. Carmy had too much on his hands. If he was focused on one part, the other was suffering. A never-ending cycle. "I'll make sure Carmy looks through it", You smiled at her softly, and she returned the gesture.

"You two...", Sydney said awkwardly, not daring to fully finish her thought. You nodded your head, letting another cloud of smoke slip past your lips. "We're dating, yeah," if you take dating in its most basic form. It was funny that you had to double-check in your brain if Carmen had asked you out properly. "He had some serious beef with Richie today", you turn your head to Sydney instantly at the sound of that. "Bout what?", "You", your gaze is focused on Sydney, and you two just stay like that for a moment.

Then you let your shoulders slump, running a hand through your hair. "Mmm, Richie specializes in hating me", you muttered, not daring to look back at the girl next to you. Yet you wondered what had happened. Had Richie finally gone to Carmy? Had he said it all the same way he's been saying it to you? Listing the reasons why you shouldn't be here. Why Carmy should have never fallen for you.

"He looked pretty worried to me, but then again, I don't know them much", and Sydney's words seem genuine, but you just couldn't fathom how Richie and worried could go in the same sentence. Especially when it came to you. "Don't pay them much attention", you muttered, moving to crush your cigarette. You stepped closer to the door, ready to disappear before halting. "Hey, Sydney", you said, catching her gaze from across the side alley. "You're doing great so far. Proud of you", the rawest form of emotion ran through her eyes and features. She didn't say anything; she just nodded her head, but you knew she needed it, and you were glad you could give it to her.

You were sorting through the last bin full of letters and papers when Carmy walked in, a plate in his hand. "Late lunch for my girl", he said with a light smile, and you instantly moved the pile to the side. "What's this princess treatment I'm getting?", you teased him, and Carmen's gaze instantly tightened. You knew well that one way he expressed his love was through food. Words failed him almost always. Actions... Also, something he needed to improve, but one thing that always stayed true was making food. The meals he prepared said it all. They carried love, and the little details showed just how much thought went into them.

"I don't recognize this place", Carmy said, looking around the tiny office. "Can you believe that you have a desk?", you said, pointing to the now junk-free space. You hadn't seen that surface since you stepped in here, and now you're looking at that white surface. It felt as if there was more breathing space here. "No, I thought about getting a new one", Carmy sat down beside you, eyes watching every bite you took. That was another thing that he did. Watching you eat, looking out for reactions. For anything that might indicate your feelings from within.

"This is delightful, chef", you said, mouth full of the sandwich. "Richie hates it", Carmy said in return, throwing his head back in frustration. "Richie hates most things; his judgment shouldn't be something you take so personally", you reached for Carmy's hand, rubbing your fingers over the shell of it. "He's a big part of this", Carmy breathed out again, moving to nuzzle closer to your side. The side hug was uncomfortable, with him nearly meandering over you and his head hitting your thighs, but you let him recharge for a moment. Knowing that he's been at the battlefield all day.

"Will you help with family tonight?", he asked again after some time. "I mean, would you like to", he corrected his own words quickly before lifting his eyes to you. You brushed his messy curls away from his face. "I will; I just want to sort through the last box, and I'll come out", You wanted to make sure that you had looked, opened, and added up all the bills. This place needed to start running smoothly. So getting the finances straight was important. "Don't rush", Carmy said, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck before cupping the side of your face. "And eat this. I want a clean plate, chef". You rolled your eyes, leaning in to softly kiss his lips. "Heard, chef", you muttered, watching him leave.

The phone pinged at the side of the table right as you were sorting out the last bits of paperwork. Gosh, you just hoped the last payment you made today would kill the never-ending fire of phone calls, messages, and emails, but the happiness was short-lived. You picked it up without double-checking it. Flipping the screen towards your face then your body stilled. You did a double-take. Closing your eyes and opening them up again. Blinking rapidly for a bit, but it still read Claire: I'm so glad I got to see you again. Your guts twisted. A cold shiver ran through your spine, making your fingers tingle. Panic rose in your chest. Who the hell was Claire, and when had Carmy met up with her? He didn't mention going anywhere. Was she someone he knew? Maybe it was nothing and you were reading into... Another ping slit the silence: Hopefully, we'll see each other soon. I miss your silly face already. You bit the insides of your cheeks, feeling the metallic taste almost immediately. You stared at it for a moment. Letting the words sink in before locking Carmy's phone and placing it back where it was.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taglist: @nishinoyahhh @thewulf @shewasthelimit

[simp-ly-writes]

Lasting Pictures: Mission: Spill (pt.9)

Pairing: Poly!Task Force 141 x Reader

Summary: A pleasant night out carries out into the morning as Kyle helps you to address feelings left buried in the shadows of work. But soon, your greatest mission yet, the objective that you have been working toward since your reunion with the military is placed on the horizon. Knives are sharped, blood is spread like bullets, and emotions are raised to new heights- the only question left is, will you be able to overcome this all in the end?

Warnings: 5667 words, slowburn, swearing, depictions of blood, injury, PTSD and hospitals.

A/N: ... well... shit happens hahhahaha and we are almost done, lets see what happens next!

Masterlist | Taglist | edited.

Lasting Pictures Series Masterlist

↳ 24 Hours Until Mission “Spill”

When you woke up in the morning to the sunlight hitting your face, peeking out from between the blinds. You stretched your arms outwards and rolled over to your side, patting gently to hopefully find Garrick laying beside you. The space was still warm where he slept but was ultimately empty. 

Your head dipped before a string of curse words came whispering from the kitchen. A large smile spread across your face as you quickly threw on a sweater overtop your pajamas and made your way to the living space. Kyle stood shirtless at the stove, flipping pancakes as you greeted him with a kiss to his cheek in thanks. 

“It’s nothing love, thank you for letting me crash here with you,” he notes with a subtle blush to his cheeks, “Plate up, I’m going to give these a quick wash before joining you,” the man insists as you argue to wash them later yourself. To win the battle, he flashes you a dazzling smile that has you seated at the dining room table. 

“How did you sleep?” you ask, while wiping your mouth clean, Kyle takes a sip of his coffee, wrapping an arm over the top of your chair as he hums out contently, “Like a dream in all honesty, so much more relaxing here even when waking up to Spoons licking me in the ear.” You let out a horrified gasp, standing to go give Spoons a firm talking too before Kyle pulls you back down, “It’s alright love, truly. I took it as very cute- I like to think we have bonded well.”

Taking his plate, you load the dishwasher as you point him in the direction of your linen closet, the shower soon turns on as you feed Spoons and leave a gift basket on the table for your neighbour this evening for when they come to feed the cat dinner. Taking your turn in the shower soon after, you and Kyle head back to base before answering the long stream of text messages and missed calls from the task force throughout yesterday. 

--

As you go to open your door, Kyle's hand falls from the wheel to your knee, eyes asking you to stay a moment as you go back to seated. “Hey, before we go back to the real world again… I just want you to know that…” his eyes trail away from yours, staring off into the parking garage as you squeeze his hand, offering him a small smile- urging him to continue when your heart races. 

“...that I really enjoy spending time with you, in and out of the field. I know this is a weird place to say it but just before all the gear and armour goes back on, I feel more protected than ever when I am with you- in more ways than one and… what I guess I mean to say is that…” your eyes are gradually widening as your palms begin to sweat, you drop Kyle's hand embarrassed because of it and you watch as his small smile fades immediately, he stops speaking. 

“Kyle-I,” you start, heart beating rapidly as you search his eyes, “shit. I really like spending time with you as well,” you state while your brain short-circuits for the moment. “So I wouldn’t be wrong in saying that I really like you?” Kyle questions softly while tilting his head slightly. 

“Wow, umm! fuck-I-uh. Gods I thought you all hated me and then you say this… fuck, I really like you too Kyle” you speak quickly, your blush now carries its way down your neck and up to your ears as Kyle chuckles affectionately, only making you cover your cheeks as you lean forward, hiding your face between your knees as you shake your head when he asks to see your face again. “Love, please,” he laughs out while stroking your head. 

“I never hated you for a moment, I just was upset that the person I really liked then and now was not paying attention to me,” he states as you pop your head up once more, both of your phones are now blowing up as the team demands your attention back at work. You groan out, wanting to keep this little moment going but you both step out of the car and make your way to the boardroom. 

--

Once entering the office space, Soap pulls you into a large hug as his eyes flash over your neck, looking over to Garrick with a raised eyebrow as he shakes his head no. You roll your eyes, shoving Johnny off with a smirk, “get your head outta the gutter, Soap.” 

“Alright, now that everyone is here,” Laswell claps as you and Kyle take your seats at the table, Simon's knee touches your own as he keeps his attention directed to the screen and you feel John's eyes staring at the back of your head. “Tonight you will all be travelling by plane and jumping to location A, it is a 1km hike till the first objective that you will be scoping out from an elevated position. From there you will need to…”

The mission brief carries though as you all become tested on the various escape and exfil strategies, the targets of interest and of course, the accountants’ oligarch that you have a positive ID on. You all exit the room, folders in hand as you move towards the apartment where Gabby pulls you into your room, demanding details. 

“SO! You little, “oh, it’s not a date, we are not fucking…” and then I see that MAN- looking at you with bedroom eyes and what is everyone else supposed to think- I MEAN DID YOU SEE SOAP? He looked oddly disappointed that you and Kyle did not get up to anything when I know of your history together, you have left. Me. in. the. Dark.” Gabby rants while holding your hands as you blush, “Gabby you need to chill out, we were just hanging out and yes, maybe some feelings were regarded but that's it!” you retort as she screams. 

Simon comes rushing into the room as you stand to let him know nobody was being actively murdered as he walks back out, he throws out a comment that leaves you in silence. “You are part of our team- Kyle just gotta say it before any of us could get the chance after all that shit,” Ghost comments while picking at his gloves. You are wide-eyed, body still as Gabby loses her shit, “OKAY! I am taking that as my cue to leave, have fun before your mission bestie!” she blows you a kiss while making some explicit hand gestures that have you groaning out. 

Your room door slams behind her as you fall back onto your pillows, reaching a hand to pinch the bridge of your nose. You listen as Simon and Gabby exit the apartment leaving you in a conflicting moment of silence. You debate getting up, following them towards the gym while your hand drifts to your phone, fingers hovering over your parents number as you blink away tears. 

The fuck, you think to yourself, holding up your wet hand to your eyes with a confusion  struck expression and in that moment, you don’t realise the phone to be already ringing before their bright voice echos throughout the empty apartment. “Hello hun, everything alright… I know you should be back on base by now, did something happen?” 

“mom/dad…” you comment in a small voice, you keep wiping away your tears, crushing out as you look around for a tissue box or spare shirt to wipe them away on. “Hey, hey, hey, what's the matter? Do I need to come over with the spoon and teach the other lads a thing or two over there?”

You laugh between sobs, shaking your head between your hands, “I just don’t know why the fuck im crying right now, I just- sorry for the swearing picked that up again. I just, I don’t know.” 

“Things are just a lot right now?” 

“Yeah…” you let out with a breath, now leaning against your headboard as you inspect your jeans, pulling out the random items in your pockets and observing them. “Do you… want to talk to me about it?” they ask sweetly but you can hear the concern laced in every word as they fumble around the kitchen in the background. 

“I feel so pathetic right now, I fucked up and everything okay now but I still feel guilty but I don’t know what I feel guilty about or even if its for me…” you trail off, not knowing how to continue the sentence as you stand up and begin to pace around your room. “I am a grown adult, sulking here like a baby that has a gun in their closet and is about to fly to kill someone that I have been stalking for the past three months and then in between that all I meet this group of incredible guys that… that make me feel like I can go through with this mission. Gabby consistently reminds me to choose happiness and when I think it arrives, I only get more confused and feel all the more guilty about feeling happy while this is the shit we do for a living, I should have never came back- FUCK!” 

You hear your parent drop the things around them as they speak more clearly down the phone now, “I am not going to tell you anything is wrong in you having these thoughts but what has made you think these things recently?”

“Kyle told me he likes me… and I like him back but that was after I had been an absolute degenerate- going off with my own team jealous-”

“Then why are you guilty?” your parent cuts you off in a strict tone as your shoulders cave in, feeling as if you were back at home, waiting in the corner on a small wooden chair in time-out. “Because we forgave one another too quickly?” your answer coming out more like a question as you pull the phone away to curse out some more as they tisk you on your language. 

“How could you hear me swearing?” you question, trying to move the conversation on, your head and heart overwhelmed now as you pack your bag and begin to iron your clothing that would be a wreck by the end of the mission. “I am not THAT old yet and don’t you go changing topics on me just yet, maybe you did forgive each other too quickly, maybe you didn’t but by the sounds of it. You both made that choice and look what it amounted to-”

“Wait- Gabby told you!” You grip your hair, groaning out as they laugh at you down the line once again. “I must say, I do approve of your two- stunning couple you would make.” Going beet red you cover your face with your thermal shirt just as you hear a knock on your door, “One sec!” you call out towards them as you call your byes to one another. Setting your phone on to charge you twist the handle open as John stands in the hall with a small smile. 

“All your stuff packed by the looks of it?” You mock salute towards your Captain, “Sir-yes-sir!” you report in a teasing tone as his eyes cast back down to meet your own, a smile spreading across his face as he tilts his head down towards you, now speaking in more hushed tones. “Bring your camera, will ya? Less paper work with pictures involved,” he winks before turning back down the hall humming as you watch him disappear into the kitchen. 

--

When you enter the locker rooms various teams nod towards the patches on your uniform as you pull your equipment bag towards your locker and empty out your pockets once more. You strip your shirt off, fighting yourself into your cargo pants as you snake a leather belt around your waist. You hear a whistle as you turn around with a raised eyebrow to whoever made the noise. Gabby stands fully geared in all-black, helmet leaning against her side as she smiles towards you, a few hairs sticking to her forehead as you reach out to fix them back into place. 

“Thanks,” she comments while looking you up and down, focusing on your colour full socks beginning to be hidden away by your matching black boots. “What?” you deadpan, “Nothing… just… really?” she teases out, “you bought me these, Gabs” you comment with a mocking eye roll just as she shoves you into your locker. “Alright you two,” Laswell comments, doing her best to hide a smile just as you flash her a wide one, shuffling over on the bench so that Gabby can sit beside you. 

You feel a pair of hands on your back as you stretch yourself around to face them, Kyle gives you a joking wave as you do the same with extravagant enthusiasm. He tightens the straps to your vest like usual as Gabby hands you your helmet. Locking it into place, you pat your knees and stand up, walking into line beside Simon who flicks your nose, not knowing how to respond. You look towards Gabby for help as she shrugs her shoulders and wipes down her gun. 

John helps Laswell up onto a table as she yells out into the room, “Our primary objective today is to ensure the lives of the public by removing the foreign oligarch found to be visiting us here in London. We have had the hotel cleared in preparation but if any civilians are to be found on site, relocation rooms have been highlighted on your maps. We go in, go dark, and all go home tonight- is that clear?”

The room fills with claps and cheers as a few slam their fists against the lockers. Your camera is strapped to your chest, gun glued to your hands as both words are to collide in this mission. You look up, praying to whoever was listening that all your friends would make it back to the apartment tonight. You feel a hand soon envelope your own, turning your head down you look towards the tattooed arm with a smile. “Keep that smile gorgeous, god knows we’ll need it for tonight.” You nod once just as the line moves towards the group of vehicles idling in wait. 

Simon slams the door shut as your van speeds off into the city streets, you watch as numerous young-people stand freezing waiting outside of nightclubs in shiny dresses or disheveled suits. A few food stalls have people yelling their prices down the street as a biker cuts through an intersection and horns vary into the night sky. John curses out, clutching the steering wheel as he takes a side road, already fuming about the traffic so late at night as Kyle usher's him to save that anger for later. You lean your head against Simon's shoulder as Gabby continues to look out the window beside you, gripping your hand with every breath she takes. 

--

Pulling into the underground car park, you all unload yourselves from the vehicle and load your weapons, using the elevator the first few floors, a countdown in the radio is heard as your team transitions towards the stairs. NODs fall on as your lazers point up the stairs, a hand on your shoulder signifies for you to move from the rear as the 45th floor comes into view. You all station in the hallway, listening for any moment as a muffled scream is heard from within a guest suite, another squad guides a scared-shitless civilian in their night robe out and towards the front of the hotel where police are beginning to arrive on the scene. 

Crushing underneath your breath, reports only followed a few hours later when social media begins chiming in, a clock had been set for the mission and your time was already begging halved by the hotel not actually being cleared like Laswell announced earlier. Splitting up the task force, you all made quick work of the floor before disbursing to accompany various other teams carrying out separate tasks, moving up towards the penthouse suite. “Dice to Watcher, how copy?” Laswell announces through your wires as you peek around the corner and burst into the bathroom, gun raised just before you snap a photo of leftover documents found underneath the sink, muttering a clear before switching comms. “Watcher this is Dice.”

“Fish has been compromised, there are unaccounted for enemy reinforcements heading up to your position, are you alone?” 

“Negative, Ghost is the next room over.”

“I need you to move towards him, now,” beginning to race over, Simon tips his mask to you in confusion, lowering his gun from your face. “What's happened?” he asks in a gruff tone, eyeing out the growing number of cruises below as muffled voices come through both your communications before going dead.

Your eyes widen into one another's, backing away from the window you both turn to exit into the hall just as a bullet whizzes by your head. You try for the radio to only receive static, counting out to three, you both fire down the hall, hearing grunt and a body falls before you, blood soaking into the brown carpet below your boots. Stepping over the body, you lean to inspect the fresh corpse, feeling around their uniforms you unload the hidden gun in their suit pocket and snap a picture of the tattoo on their sleeve that Simon so nicely cut their shirt open for you. 

A fresh set of boots emerge from a room beside you both as you fall to cover behind the corpse. Picking your secondary from your thigh you shoot at their leg as Simon muffles their cries in his glove and makes quick work to their neck with his knife. The body drops beside your growing pile as you both nod at one another and continue down the hall.

It is eerily silent, you had lost connection to where you team had gone, Simon was glued to your side and reportedly Fish was down. You did your best to not allow these thoughts to weigh you down, forcing yourself up several more flights of stairs. You fail to hear a Ghosts footsteps no longer walk in rhythm to your own, turning around you are pulled into a room just as you raise your elbow to slam your attacker in the face. They curse out in a foreign language to you, twisting their arm, you force the knife out of their hand- capturing it in your own as you raise to stab just below their armpit. Uncovered from the gear they wear, forcing them to the wall they drop their body weight, forcing you down to the ground with them as they pull out the knife and stab your foot. 

Kicking them in the face, you race to grab you gun and a singular shot sounds in the room, their body falling on top of yours as you lie there for a moment, listening to your breaths just before radio communications comes back on line. “Dice this is Bravo Six, where is your location?”

“57th floor, east wing,” you report back, groaning to shove the heavy body off your chest as Simon rushes over to you, mask covered in blood as you pick up a towel from a cleaning cart in the hall and wipe him clean. “We are awaiting your arrival at the penthouse, report when you are in range, over.”

“Yes, sir,” Simon radios in, taking your arm he ushers you behind him and moves to clear the stare well as you both navigate your way through the fire exit. Seeing a flash in your laser, you both nod towards a stationary team in the hall as you make your way towards the door. John nods at you, pointing at a spot across from Kyle where you stand in wait. 

A younger member from an assisting squad inspects underneath the door, reporting to John as he nods his head, glaring at the top of their head impatiently. Johnny moves in to disarm the surveillance in the room set on a separate grid through the electrical closet just as Kyle sends in a report that Shadow Company is providing long-ranged support from the opposite building's rooftop. Another lazer flashing through your NODs has all the conformation you need as you rally at the door. A countdown from three is on the Captain's fingers just as you all burst into the room. Taking the right wing you scan each corner and look over reverie hard-cover voicing over a clear just as you all move further into the suite. 

Room after room, the penthouse is deadly quiet, not a single breath or footstep to be heard as the rooms appear unlived in. Not a single cup removed from the cart or a pillow out of place. Johnny curses out, about to make a comment before bullets come flying from the wall you all are stationed on… someone knew of your operations. 

Your head racks your mind for whoever could have reported this information back in time for them to prepare and study for your team in such short notice to only come back with nothing, adrenaline pumping through your every vein- capturing your every thought. Clutching your shoulder, your foot is still sore from the bruising- no picture from the knife to be seen. Warm blood spills from between your fingertips just as you lean against a buffet-table in the hall for support. 

Kyle races over, bandages already torn out from his vest as he quickly secures the wound with ease. Voicing him a strained thanks, another series of shots are carried out as Laswell begins chirping down the radio as John so kindly asks her to, “shut up for a moment- I’m tryin’ to work too.” John catches your eyes for a split second as you raise your weapon up once again. Slamming the door open with his shoulder, Simon fires a flashbang into the room before you all rush inside. Two shots you place, one to the chest and another to the head to ensure your good work and this pattern is repeated tenfold as the seemingly dead penthouse comes alive with bodies spraying out from closets and underneath beds.

You listen as Kyle curses out in the washroom, the shower being turned out as he gets sprayed, wrapping the shower hose around their neck. You look away only hearing the stangled grunts that stop just as you allow your barrel to cool once again. A shot breaks the window behind you as you shutter and a body falls behind you, turning around you cast a thumbs up towards the Shadow as they flicker their lazer in response. 

--

Your team splits once more, the master bedroom and private living quarters now in view. Both sections are connected to one another in a loop- needing to be simultaneously cleared as you get stationed with Soap who inspects your shoulder and changes the wrap before you both move into the small sitting room. Footsteps of the separated task force echo down the halls as you both sidestep over the half-hazardly thrown chairs and broken glass shards against the floor. Apparent stress is found leading up into the kitchen as you and Johnny look to one another, holding eyes as he tilts his head- it was go time. 

Taking action into the room with guns raised you both shout out into the space, a shot rings out from beside your head as you both flip up your NODs to the light of the room. Taking that split second to blink an accented voice calls out to you, “stop or I shoot the maid.” A man in a white dress shirt, the hotel's logo embroidered into the breast pocket holds your eyes. Tears in their eyes as his hands grip the arm around their neck. In raspy tones they beg for their release, “please,” they choke as your finger stills over the trigger.

Johnny drops his gun to the counter as you keep your raised- waiting to take the shot as he tries to deescalate the situation. Hands extended, his fingerless gloves portray friendliness as he addresses the oligarch who’s grip only tightens on the handle of the pistol, pressing into the staff's head as they wince, larger tears extending from their eyes as they whisper about a mother. For a split second Johnny looks towards you and in that moment multiple shots are fired.

Head slamming into the counter behind you, you curse out before quickly looking up to see the maid grasping at themselves before crying out in relief, running out of the room and towards the other squads stationed outside the penthouse entrance. Your vision soon becomes blurry from your sudden movements, time slowing as you watch the oligarch’s yellow teeth smile at you, hand raised with another is strapped to their chest in pain. A wobbled trigger pull has you breathless and looking up into the bright white lights above. I did it… you laugh before starting to choke on your own blood. 

You are frozen, unable to panic yet Johnny does enough of that for you as his hands scramble over your body, feeling for where the shots entered and exit. Kyle, Simon, and John soon come running in from hearing the earlier screams, blood on each of their faces as horror soon accompanies it. You start to whine thanks while Johnny's face covers the light, he holds your face muttering words unheard to you as you reach a hand upwards and smile before cursing out in blinding pain as your eyes soon flutter closed only to be awakened by the shaking of your shoulders expanding your wounds. 

"fuck it hurts, it hurts so bloody much captain" you cry out to Johnny, your vision of him blurring once more as he holds your side. Soap tries not to shutter at the warm heavy liquid seeping through his fingers, staining the floors and the back of your shirt; mixing with your tears, as you choke back another sob to the throbbing pain- seeing white.

John curses lightly underneath his breath, hands slightly shaking as he looks over your half-sitting against the cupboards. Looking up, he makes sure there are no more imminent threats; he opens a pocket on his vest, pulling out his field medical kit as he shouts down the line for an immediate evac.

Hurried hands quickly kill any bacteria on the wound as you wince loudly and the captain covers your mouth with his gloved hand while looking over once more to check that you two would be uninterrupted. He yells out for the remaining task force to secure the room and pull out the oligarchs body to be bagged. 

Laughing to yourself, growing slightly delirious from the blood-loss and excruciating pain, you think that in any other setting- you would find these actions highly romantic. Smiling and shaking your head as your eyes roll at your loopy self.

John grasps your jaw firmly in his hand while holding a sterile cloth to your side with the other. "I need you awake for me love, eyes on me m'kay? eyes on me only Dice!"

Removing his hand from your face he begins to wrap a bandage around your core, trying it snuggly in position, he leans down and wipes the sweat away from your face and replacing it slightly was a smear, a blood that has him wincing. Giving your temple a kiss before placing his forehead against your own. You can feel how anxious ragged his breaths are against your skin as guilt begins to seep its way into your system. Panic soon seeping into your system as hidden thoughts flood your breaking mind, I should've done more, done fucking better, hell dice; can't even roll with the punches you take- utterly useless.

Yet you hear another set of boots rushing over to your side that has your darkening thoughts pausing momentarily as they drop their gun on the floor while reaching into a bag with a red-cross on the front. Memories float through your head at all the horror you had seen while having to use that bag, your breath catching in uneven sets, eyes stinging from no more tears left to cry.

"Shh, shh, it's okay gorgeous, we are gonna get you out of here, real quick- hold me to it" Johnny replies while taking in your state, eyes becoming wet before huffing out another request down the comms line. He moves to hold your hand, squeezing it in his own as the Captain moves so that you two can share this moment; looking out the window, eying the cityscape while waiting for Ghost and Gaz to report back at the scene with news of the vehicle, he checks his watch.

Your hand begins to scratch at the floor, as a gasp finds its way out of your mouth, trying to formulate words- you find yourself voiceless. A loud ringing now finds itself in your ears, blood running cold through your system as you realize what is happening, your legs begin to kick as you cry out into the darkening space.

Soap chokes back a sob, tears freely falling down his cheeks as he shouts out your name, beckoning you to come back down to him. John shouts down the radio once more- panic taking over his body as he walks in circles around the room. He can't bear to look at you- slipping away and not being able to do anything about it; they had used all the supplies relevant.

Your breaths begin to slow as your tears grace your cheeks once more, you feel your eyes growing all too heavy as you smell your blood coating your gear. The world turns black as a scream can be heard echoing out the building. The walls shaking and following around the men as they sit beside you- still. 

Gabby shoves her way into the scene before you, she grabs your hand, forcing it against her cheek. She pays no mind to the various calls of the Shadow Company nor Laswells orders as she places her forehead to your chest, breaths swallowed as panic begins to overtake herself at the lowering quantity of your breaths. “No, no, no” she begins to chant to herself as if begging. 

She feels nauseous as your lifetime together flashes through her mind. Elementary school days in watching shoes playing football during recess while you watched her breath a bone for the first time, shattering her ankle while going in for a  slide-tackle. Middle school, you come out as Bi and cried on the couch in happiness for letting it out, going sick from eating too much ice cream on the couch and throwing up in the toilet hours after. You held back her hair, holding back your own feelings as that memory soon blurs into your first high school house party. 

Finding you making out with Scott from maths as she snapped a picture that still sat in your diary back in your apartment with hearts and love notes swirled around like a frame. Gabby held you three weeks later when he cheated on you with the new transfer girl. She remembers you both dancing at prom with one another, your infectious laughter as you both drunkenly sung karaoke into the early morning hours during the after party. 

Months later you both would be separated during college just before you switched and went to study biology at the same campus as her. You both dropped out three months before graduating, your military careers taking off just as Gabby got engaged but never got to see the isle. You held her when a soldier announced that Elijah died while out on deployment you kept her from the edge that night… and now she sits here- guilt stricken for not being able to do the same. 

--

A relentless beeping sound as you whisper at a, “whatever that is needs to be turned off” to yourself just as a gasp can be heard and the hand holding your own falls to cover their mouth in shock. You cannot move, body stationary as they press a series of buttons and you rise to a relaxed sitting position, moving your head comes in a great deal of pain as you meet your parents eyes in surprise. Eyebrows raised, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“What the fuck did I tell you about language?” They tease back before lightly hugging you, plastering a kiss against your forehead as your face goes beet red and you look around the room for an audience only to find none much to your thankfulness. A clock displays a 3:41 AM on its hands as you curse out, the medication in your system beginning to wear off just as a series of nurses comes running in a few other staff members behind they shout, bodies unseen as they lock the door closed behind them, the blinds falling as the new injection has you in peace. 

“So… how long was I out for this time?” you laugh into a cry- your brain overstimulated after being dormant for the period. “Only a week, you pulled through- I think that it was Gabby’s threats that got to you. I swear that woman could animate a corpse with the sentences she strings together,” your parents smile while brushing the hair out of your face, you murmur a thanks before sleep finds you once more. They circle the back of your hand with their thumb as you lay unknowing to the passive-aggressive conversation that is being carried out from behind your room’s door.

Lasting Pictures Series Masterlist

↳ Taglist: @thriving-n-jiving @cringeycookies @ashy-kit @lilliumrorum @kaoyamamegami @brokenpieces-72

[fanficforlife]

Chapter Eight

Kayce was wrapped around you, pulling you back against his chest as you reached to turn your alarm clock off. "Mmm, no."

"Yes. We both have to go to work." You groaned as you rolled onto your side to face him. 

When he stretched, his back cracked. "I love waking up next to you but your bed is too small. My bed's bigger." 

"Your room is right next to your dad's."

"So?" 

"You know what usually happens when we stay in the same bed."

"He won't care."

"I know but it's your dad."

"He knows I've been sleeping down here with you a few times a week and I'm pretty sure he knows we're not just sleeping most nights." He tickled your side and you squirmed.

"Stop." You giggled. His fingers stilled so you stopped wiggling. "I know that he knows we're not just sleeping but...I don't know...it would just be kind of weird having sex in the room next to his while he's in there."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." He pulled your naked body against his. "Plus, I like hearing you moan my name so I'd hate for you to have to be too quiet." 

"Kayce." Heat crept across your cheeks. 

The smirk you loved formed. "Not quite like that."

"No? Well, this might help a bit." You pushed him onto his back and straddled him. 

His hands ran up your thighs while his eyes traveled up your body. "Fuck, you're perfect."

Blush stained your cheeks and you leaned down to kiss him. "So are you." You smiled against his lips as your hand went between you. 

"Fuck, baby." He moaned when you sunk onto him. 

You began to ride him, your eyes never leaving his. His hands gripped your hips before one slid up your stomach and palmed your breast. He pinched your nipple and you clenched around him. "Kayc." You ground against him. 

He let out a ragged breath and his hand quickly left your hip so he could sit up. Your lips crashed together as he effortlessly lifted you so you could wrap your legs around him. He pushed back into you and the two of you began grinding against each other, hitting the right spot over and over again. His arm slid around you and up your back, holding you close, while his other hand dug into your hip. 

"Mmm." You moaned. One of your arms wrapped around his shoulders, your other hand slid into his hair. 

"Baby." He groaned and you knew he was close. You nodded breathlessly, right there with him. "Come for me, Letty." And, you did, moaning his name. He was seconds behind you, watching while you came undone in his arms. 

You both collapsed, a thin layer of sweat covering your bodies. "Wow." You said between gasps. 

"Yeah. You are without a doubt the most amazing woman in the world." He rolled you onto your back and propped himself up on his elbow to look down at you. His perfect smile donned his face. "Seriously, how can every time with you be even better than the last?"

"I guess we were just made for each other."

"You're god damn right we were." He leaned in and kissed you long and slow. When he pulled back you could see a hint of concern in his brown eyes. 

"What?" Your hand came up and brushed his hair off his forehead. 

"Are you still good with...everything?"

You knew he was referring to sex and everything that went along with it. "Yes, I'm good."

"I try to be gentle but sometimes I can't help it because you're well, you. I don't hold you too tight or push you around or-"

"Kayce," you smiled up at the kind, caring man you loved, "everything you do is perfect. He is the furthest thing from my mind when I'm with you. And, to be honest, I kinda like it when you take charge and manhandle me a bit." 

"I don't hurt you or-or scare you?"

"No. I know you would stop if I told you to and I know you wouldn't hurt me. It's just me and you every time we're together. whether it's you grabbing me to give me a kiss while I'm not paying attention or when we're doing more than kissing." A smile finally pulled at his lips and you rose to kiss it. "I love you."

"I love you more." 

You giggled softly. "Come on. We need to shower and get dressed before Tate gets up." 

"Yes, ma'am." But, he didn't. He leaned back against the headboard and watched you stand up. "I am the luckiest man in the whole damn world."

Your hand reached for the sheet that was covering the lower half of his body and pulled it off the bed. "And, I am the luckiest woman in the world." You bit your lower lip before wrapping the sheet around your naked body. "Hurry up or I'll be done before you get in there." A sweet smile pulled at your lips before you opened the door and poked your head out, making sure the coast was clear before you dashed across the hall with the sheet draped around you. 

*****

"Ready, baby?" Kayce asked as the two of you stood inside the fence, next to his horse and a chestnut mare. 

"I'm ready." His eyes surveyed your face and you giggled. Your hands came up to rest on his chest. "Kayc, how many times have I gone riding with you? Lots. I don't even know how many times. And, every time you've shown me how to do it. You've taught me how to sit, how to stop, everything. I'm ready."

"Okay."

You rose to your toes and looked into his worried brown eyes. "You don't have to be nervous. I had the best teacher on the ranch. I'll be fine." Your lips pressed against his. "Let's go."

A smile finally formed on his rugged face. "Get your sexy ass up there then." He chuckled when your cheeks darkened. "God, you're adorable."

"Stop." You gave him a gentle shove before climbing up and settling onto the saddle. "Hurry up and get your sexy ass up there slowpoke."

"Jeez, woman. What am I gonna do with you?" He smirked at you while he untied your horse from the fence railing before working on his. 

"You have until we get to the meadow to figure it out." You smirked back at him before you got your horse walking, quickly turning it into a run. 

"Letty!" He yelled before jumping onto his horse and bolting after you. When he caught up to you, you slowed your mare to a walk. "What do you think you're doing?!" He brought his horse alongside yours and grabbed the reigns so you couldn't run off again.

"I told you I had the best teacher." 

"You could have fallen off." 

You looked over at him. "Kace, I'm not made of glass." 

"I know but you've never gone by yourself before." 

"I have actually." A mischievous smile formed. "When you've all gone out checking fences or moving cows, your dad's been showing me. We thought it would be fun to surprise you." 

"You almost gave me a heart attack."

"Sorry." A giggle escaped and he gave you a playful scowl. "Do you think Storm will be okay to ride soon? It's not that I don't love this one," you pet the mare's neck that you were riding, "but-"

"But, she's not yours."

"Will she be strong enough to ride or, after everything she went through..."

His hand let go of the reigns and squeezed your thigh. "She's stronger because of what she went through." You knew he wasn't just talking about your horse. "Storm's doin' really good. She's a hundred times better than when she first got here, she's strong enough now. Next time you take her out walking in the corral, I'll bring a saddle and we can see how she does with it." You smiled at him and he smiled back. "Wait a second. You said you had the best teacher at the ranch. Did you mean me or Dad?"

"Your dad obviously." 

A smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Uh-huh. Well, since you're such a good rider, let me see what ya got." 

"Race you the rest of the way?" Before he could answer, you and the mare were off. 

*****

"Violet?" Tate's voice drifted outside to where you were sitting on the porch. "Violet?!" The door opened and he stuck his head out. "Vi- Oh, there you are."

"Hi." You smiled as he stepped outside, followed by his dad.

Kayce leaned down and kissed you. "Morning, baby. How did ya sleep?" He sat down in the empty chair next to yours before taking a drink from his coffee mug. 

"Uh, Morning. I slept well. How about you?" You eyed the bruises on his face. 

"It coulda been better." 

Because last night he slept in his bed, not yours. The only time you, did see him yesterday was in the morning and he didn't have the bruises then so he had gotten into a fight with someone between then and now. He could see your wheels turning and he quickly took another drink. 

"What are ya doin'?" Tate looked down at your lap, which was filled with photographs. "Did you take these?" 

"Mhm." You answered shyly. 

"Wow! You're really good."

Your cheeks started to return red from Tate's compliment. "Thanks, bud."

"Shit. Babe, he's right."

"Dad."

Kayce chuckled at his son's serious tone. "Right. Sorry. No swearing." He turned his attention back to you. "You didn't tell me you liked photography."

"I umm, I took pictures for the yearbook in high school and of places around town. The city used some in travel brochures, the newspaper printed a few of them, I even sold some prints but after high school...life happened and I stopped. Being here, it makes we want to again." You looked at Kayce and who had a soft, knowing smile on his and you smiled back. "So, what are you up to today? Tired of summer holidays yet?"

"No! School sucks." Tate scrunched his nose in disgust. "Oh! Guess what?!" 

"What?"

"At breakfast, Grandpa said that since Dad's been working better, that me and Dad can move into the foreman's house."

Your eyes left Tate and went to Kayce, whose cheeks were a light shade of pink from embarrassment. "Really? That's exciting."

"Yeah! Wanna come help me pack up my room? I just need my toys and books, and my clothes. Grandpa said there's empty boxes in the storage room. Oh, wait. Do you have to work today?"

"I finished my work for the week yesterday so I have a three-day weekend. So, yes, I can come help you."

"Yay! I'll go help Grandpa get the boxes." 

"I'll be there soon."

"Okay." 

When the door closed behind him, you set the photos on the small side table nestled between the two chairs. "So."

"So." He reached for your hand and gave it a gentle tug. You went over and sat on his lap. "Uh..."

I won't start with his black and blue face then. "I thought Rip lived in the foreman's house."

"He does-did. Dad said, well, you heard Tate." Embarrassment flashed across his features again. "I've been doing better. I umm, I still get angry sometimes. I would never hurt you though. Never." He added quickly.

"I know you wouldn't." Your hand rested against the side of his neck, your thumb ran across his jaw carefully avoiding his bruised skin.

"I was the foreman but not really. I didn't act like it. I would lose my temper or not pay attention. Then you came. I wanted to be better, someone who was good enough for you because I sure as hell wasn't before."

"Kayc, you don't have to prove anything to me."

"Yes, I did. When I started getting back on track, Dad put me back in charge. Rip was doing it before."

Your eyes searched his face. "It was Rip."

"How..."

"The way you said his name." Your fingers trailed up and down his forearm while he held you.

His eyes went to your hand. "He just...he thinks he's always right. Especially, since he's been Dad's right-hand man since before I graduated. Then with everything that went on after...Tate, the navy." He looked up at you sheepishly but relaxed when he was met with your soft, caring eyes. "There's a rule on the ranch, no fighting and if you want someone to fight, it's the foreman. I admit Rip's been helpin' me work my way back up but yesterday he went off about something I said or didn't do, I can't even remember because it was stupid. I got mad and we fought. At least everyone knows who to fight now."

So he won. "Are you okay? Does it hurt?"

"I'm good, baby."

"So, I can kiss you?" You smiled.

A smile finally formed on his rugged face. "Come here." His hand slid into your hair and gently pulled you in. When you parted, Tate was standing there grinning. Kayce chuckled. "I guess it's time to start packing."

"I guess so."

"I get Violet!" Tate quickly grabbed your hand and you stood up.

"What if I want her to help me?"

"You wouldn't get anything done because you would just be kissin' the whole time." 

A light shade of red stained your cheeks. "Okay. Let's go." You grabbed your pictures before ushering the giggling boy inside, with his dad on your heels. 

"He isn't wrong though," Kayce whispered next to your ear before kissing the side of your head. 

You gave him a playful shove. "Get to work." 

"Yes, ma'am." He winked at you before grabbing the last two boxes that were sitting at the base of the stairs.

*

The second you crawled into bed, Kayce pulled you into his arms and you immediately cuddled against his side. "Mmm." You hummed in contentment as you rested your head on his shoulder. "This is nice."

"Mhm." His lips pressed a kiss on your forehead. "Thanks for your help today, baby." 

"You're welcome. How does it feel to be in your own house?"

"It feels good, except for the fact that you're not in the same house anymore."

You giggled and tilted your head to look up at him. "I'm only what, a one minute walk away?"

"Yeah, but we've been in the same house for the last six months." He held you tighter when you curled in closer to him.

"It's hard to believe I've been here that long."

"Do you still like it here?"

"There's nowhere else on earth I would rather be." You stated after looking up at him. 

He leaned in and your lips met for a long, sweet kiss before you settled back into his arms. "How come you stopped taking pictures? He was a piece of shit but even he couldn't have denied that you were amazing at it."

"After high school, I was going to work for a year to save up some money then go to school for photography. When Nick and I started dating he was okay with it. When I got back acceptance letters from the schools I applied to it was a couple weeks before my Mom died. She really wanted me to go. She was always really supportive." A sad smile graced your lips at the memory of her. "After she died Nick said he didn't want me to go. He said he would miss me too much, and he couldn't go with me because he just started working. And, it was too soon after she died so I wouldn't be able to focus at school. I should stay and move in with him because I couldn't afford a place of my own. I could apply again next year and he could come with me. When it was time to apply again he said he couldn't get transferred yet because it was still too soon."

"He could've though?"

"Yeah. When I found out I got mad but he said he did it for me. He said it was because I wouldn't make it through school let alone do it as a career. I wasn't that good. He told me it was because he couldn't leave yet so he didn't hurt my feelings. Then he went on about how I didn't have to work because his family was rich...I stopped doing it after that."

"Baby."

"It's okay. Being with him brought me here." You placed your hand on his cheek. "And, being here, being with you, it makes me want to again." 

"He knew you were great at it, he just didn't want you to go because he was scared and jealous. If you want to go back to school for it, you should. I'm not going anywhere."

A smile pulled at the corners of your mouth as you tilted your head to look at him. "I'm perfectly happy doing what I am now. And, with Nick...I couldn't if I wanted to." He would find me...

"If you wanted to, I wouldn't let him anywhere near you."

"I know you wouldn't." Your heart swelled. The blanket slid around your waist as you left his side and climbed on top of him. You bent down, keeping your face inches from his. "I love you, Kayce."

"You have no idea how much I love you, Violet. " His hand slid into your hair and pulled you in. Your lips met for a slow kiss. The longer it carried on the steamier it became. After a few minutes, you both couldn't wait any longer. 

Your hand pulled his boxers down just as far as they needed to before pulling your underwear to the side. A breathy moan left your lips when you sunk down onto him. He reached up and pulled you back down to crash his lips into yours. His lips parted so his tongue could explore your mouth. You continued to ride him and it wasn't long until you were close. "Kayc." 

"Almost, baby." He gripped your hips and pounded into you. 

"Mmm." The heat pooling in your core began to build rapidly. "Oh, god." His movements began to get messy and you knew he was on the edge. You ground into him once more before you both came together. 

When you both came down from your highs, you collapsed next to him. His arms wrapped around you and tucked you against his side. "You could move in here. We've been spending more nights than not together lately anyway."

"Kayc," you shifted slightly so you could see his dreamy hazel eyes, "I love you and love spending the night with you but I think it should just be you and Tate here. I can still come and spend the night sometimes but moving in..."

He knew what you were thinking. "I know you're still scared that he's going to find you and you'll have to leave. You don't want to get too close." He moved onto his side to face you. His hand slid across your cheek and into your hair. "Violet, even if he does figure out that you're here, he is never going to get within a hundred feet of you. Everyone here will make sure of that. You're safe."

You nodded. "It's not just that." Your tongue slipped out and licked your dry lips. "You make me happy, happier than I have ever been. I'm scared of getting too close because if it ends, if we break up- I don't know what I would do without you and Tate."

"Baby, you are going to be stuck with me for the rest of your life." He stated firmly, his brown eyes pierced yours. You sniffed as tears welled in your eyes. A smile pulled at his lips while his thumb ran across your cheek. "I love you more than I ever thought was possible." Your lips met for a thorough, heartfelt kiss before he pulled you flush with his body. He swallowed your moan as the kiss became more passionate. 

A sensual giggle left your lips when he climbed between your legs. You hooked your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

"I can never get enough of you." 

"Right back at you." 

He smirked down at you before attacking your neck. 

*****

Kayce made you wait in the truck while he got out and came around to your side, opening the door for you. 

"Thank you." You smiled. 

His hand immediately wrapped around yours. "I know going to a bar when we both don't drink seems stupid but they have the best burgers around. And, I know they're one of your favorites." 

"You're the best." A giggle left your lips as you wrapped yourself around his arm. When you got to the entrance he let go of your hand and opened the door for you before placing it on the small of your back and guiding you inside. "I thought the ranch was cowboy, country-ish but this place..." 

There were wood beams and posts, the bar was wood and the walls were clad in wood paneling. That's where the similarities between the lodge and the bar ended. Bottles of beer were put in metal pails with ice and served to you, there were neon signs with the names of popular beer brands. A large American flag hung on the wall. The floors were sheets of plywood and had the occasional piece of straw lying around that had been brought in by the cowboy boots that adorned everyone's feet. 

"Yeah, it's nothin' fancy. We couldn't come here before because if we did come to town, Tate's been with us. I should've picked a better place for our first date off the ranch but you don't like fancy and food-"

"Food definitely wins." You finished with a grin. "Speaking of which, you mentioned something about burgers."

Kayce chuckled and slid his arm around your waist. "Let's find a table." As you moved through the crowded building towards a few empty tables, he kept pulling you closer and closer to his side. 

You assumed it was because it was date night but even after you ordered your food, he sat on your left instead of across the small square table you were at. He also kept moving his chair closer and touching your hand or arm. Not uncommon since he was touchy-feely but not while his shoulders were squared. It wasn't until a man with a plaid shirt and brown cowboy hat came up to your table that you realized why. 

"Kayce Dutton, is that you? I haven't seen you in god knows how long." He greeted even though his focus was entirely on you. "And, who is this fine thing? You're not from around here. I would've remembered someone as gorgeous as you."

Your boyfriend tensed up while he glared at the man. You placed your hand on Kayce's arm, silently begging him to calm down. 

"Now I know why we haven't seen you in town lately. You've been shacked up with this sweet little thing at your daddy's house."

Kayce stood up abruptly, his chair falling back in the process. "Watch your fucking mouth."

"Easy tiger." The man chuckled and turned his hungry eyes back to you. "We went to high school together. I'm Jesse Miller. And, you are?"

"Not interested." 

He clutched his shirt above his heart. "Ouch. You really know how to break a guy's heart."

"It's time for you to leave." Kayce fumed.

Jesse rolled his eyes before grinning at you. "I'll see you around, beautiful." 

Your boyfriend's chest heaved, his fists started to come up, but Jesse left, rejoining his friends at the bar. 

"Hey." Your hand wrapped around his fist, which unclenched. His fingers mixed with yours. You gave a gentle tug and he sat down on his chair that a server had picked up on their way by during the confrontation. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Are you?"

"I should've hit him for how he talked to you, for ruining our date." He started getting tense again so you ran your thumb across the back of his. 

"He didn't ruin our date." You slid your chair closer to his and leaned in.

He did the same. "No?"

"No." Your lips pressed against his. When you pulled back, your teeth tugged on his lower lip. He let out a low growl and you giggled sensually. "Burgers first."

"And, you for dessert." His hand quickly slid into your hair and pulled you back in. This time you moaned when the brief yet toe-curling kiss ended. "Fuck, you're cute." 

Your cheeks flushed as your server set your burgers and fries in front of you. After you both thanked her and she left, you brushed your foot against your cowboy's denim-covered shin. "I have a feeling you're going to need your energy for dessert so eat up."

"Yes, ma'am." He smirked the smirk that drove you crazy before picking up his burger.

*

"Okay, you were right about the burgers here. They are amazing. I'm so full, I can barely move."

Kayce chuckled and slung his arm around your shoulders, pulling you against him. He was about to say something when a cocky voice cut in. 

"Leaving so soon, sweetheart?" 

Your hold on Kayce's hand tightened as you continued walking past Jesse.

"Awe, come on, baby." Jesse's hand wrapped around your wrist. "I'm a hundred times more of a man than this loser ever will be." 

"Get your fucking hand off her." Kayce spat. His old high school classmate released your arm and Kayce tucked you behind him. 

"Can we go?" You asked your boyfriend, who was rigid with anger and shooting daggers at Jesse with his eyes. 

"Run off and have your fun," Jesse smirked as he looked you up and down. "She'll be in my bed after because you couldn't satisfy her." 

Your boyfriend's fist connected with the smug cowboy's face. "Kayce. Kayce, stop." He hit him a total of three times before his friends, who were at the bar with him, rushed to his side. 

"I'm good. I'm good." Jesse said, stopping them from retaliating. He cracked his jaw and let out a chuckle. "The Navy taught you how to fight. I hear they taught ya how to kill too."

"Stay the fuck away from her," Kayce pronounced each word firmly, harshly. 

"You make it sound like a challenge," Jesse's eyes bore into you, "everyone knows I never back down from a challenge."

The look in his eyes made you cower against Kayce. "Can we go? Please." 

He immediately turned his attention to you. "Yeah, baby. Let's go home." His arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you against him when he saw you shaking. When you got to the truck, instead of going to the passenger door, he guided you to the driver's side. 

You climbed up and stayed in the middle of the bench, wanting to be close to him. He reached across your lap and pulled you flush with his side before starting the truck and driving off. 

"I'm sorry." The fingers on his right hand nervously fiddled with the hem of your dress. "What he said, the way he looked at you, grabbing your wrist; it wasn't right. He deserved it. I'm sorry if I scared you or if it made you think of him."

Memories of Nick had played through your head when Kayce got mad when he hit him, but he didn't need to know that. It would just make him more upset. "You don't have to apologize, Kayc." You wrapped yourself around his arm, reassuring him. "Jesse or whatever his name is creeped me out but that's it."

"You don't have to worry about him, baby. He's not going to touch you. I'll make sure of it." 

After kissing his cheek, you cuddled against him, letting out a content sigh. He kissed your head and the rest of the drive was spent in a comfortable silence.

****************************************************

Tag: @saintnourah

[djtommotomlinson]

last november i was in china when my little brother called me and told me to come home. over summer my nan, my mums mum, had passed away before i had managed to get back to see her and my mum, my best friend in the world, had a heart attack soon after. i was with her then. we went to the funeral. she got better. we saw robbie williams live. we went out drinking and to the beach and watched coyote ugly and la la land together, our fave movies.

when my brother called me to tell me mum had cancer i knew it was bad. i lost my best friend to cancer when we were just 16 years old. thats never a good word. but its my mum. and to quote her days after her own mums death 'i always knew one day my mum would die but i never knew she would, like, actually die'.

i knew in the back of my head why i was going home but i didnt believe it. i watched spiderverse for like the third time on the plane. i went to grab my suitcase and laughed when i realised i was at the wrong shanghai - gatwick conveyor belt. who knew there were two at almost the same time.

then my brother, my baby brother, who is 30 next year but was 28 and always our baby brother, called me and my life is never ever going to be the same. i knew the moment he called. and i sat on the floor at gatwick airport shaking and people kept coming over to ask if i was okay and finally my sister and my aunties, my mums sisters, arrived and they were let into the baggage area when they explained and picked me off the floor.

i dont think this is a grief that has settled yet. i was meant to see louis that night. i havent listened to a song by him since despite his music getting me through some of my hardest times. my denial, she'll walk through the door and say this was all a joke, phase went on for months after we planned and executed a funeral and wake on the beach in malta. i made a great playlist, i wrote a great eulogy. i did that but it didnt properly sink in why.

i still, almost a full year on, wake up and think about messaging her to tell her how im feeling and check in on her.

my mum used to send me one direction news she found on facebook every day. harrys got a new album emmy did you know? and i was like no mum wow thank you (of course i already knew). she loved niall and we were going to see him live together. she wasnt a big fan of louis' music but ached for what he'd been through. i woke up the day after hearing about liam expecting a text from her checking in because she got me 1d tickets in 2014 for my 23rd birthday and she brought me merch and the dvd of the movie -

my mum who hated the beatles because they were too mainstream but loved what i loved because i loved it and was passionate about it. god she would have been crushed for me today. she would have been heart broken.

and i think this has hit me like a train not only because everyone who knows me knows how much i loved liam as if he was my own friend, but also because this past year has been so full of grief i dont always know how to get out of bed. my dads mum passed a few months ago. my family are wrecked with it. this past year has been a nightmare we can't get out of.

i always related to liam as someone who was bullied at school and as someone who suffers from mental illness and has suffered from alcoholism, thankfully, for me, something ive managed to come back from and im sober and i always hoped for that for him. its such a hard fucking mountain to climb and i didn't have to deal with the fame side of it and this whole other thing he had to carry. i always wanted him to get better but in the back of my head i had this feeling, i had this fear that i would one day log into tumblr and see the worst.

i still cant, and im sure for a long time won't, believe this real. thats one of my boys. we were very much meant to get old together. i wanted to see him get better. i cant begin to comprehend the fact he wont have that chance. this still doesnt feel real to me man. thats my boy.

just a few days ago I was in a convenience store and they were playing heart meets break and i was jamming and excited to hear my boy in a store. i keep remembering its happened, and i look at the photo on my bedside of me and my mum at the robbie williams concert and i could really do with her right now. a link to a facebook article and her over use of emojis - a shocked and crying face and a broken heart. because what else can express this?

i know i didnt know him but i always had the comfort of knowing of him, of listening to his music and watching his videos and feeling less alone in a cruel and lonely world.

its okay to be a fucking mess, if you can take time out please do. i wish this world allowed more of that. after my mum everyone had to go back to jobs and life and it still blows my mind that i was walking down the street then and today and everything was the same. the world should pause but it doesn't.

at the end of all of this, one day this might settle and make sense but right now it doesnt at all and thats how these things work. i love you all, this is not something i thought we would have to face until we had all grown old and spent all of our money on reunion tickets and seen our boys grow old and live their lives.

give people you love a hug, tell people you love that you care about them, work out problems and differences if you can and make the most of it. you never know how much time you have.

[arislary]

Brewing Chemistry (3/5) Han Jisung x (f) reader

Synopsis: Reader and Jisung feel the obvious connection coursing between them, but misunderstandings leave them on uneven ground. Reader begins to fall into old mindsets, struggling with the thought she ruined her one shot with Jisung. Will this end their connection before it can really begin?

Pairing: Han Jisung x (f) reader

Genre: fluff, eventual smut, strangers to lovers, coffee-shop au, non-idol au, meet-cute au

Warning: fluff, eventual smut, slight angst, slight dom/sub, slight Dom Jisung, slight Sub reader, cute nicknames, spit kink, makeouts, i lied about it being a slow-burn, moving too fast?, insecurity, sad Jisung, sad reader, jealous!Jisung, communication is key! bf!Felix, 3RACHA, alcohol use, drug use mentioned (stoner!reader) (let me know if I missed anything)

WC: 3.5k

AN: some more angst from reader as we navigate the aftermath of the first date, if there's one thing I hate it's misunderstandings, but ugh I love to write them! UNEDITED

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 1 -> Part 2 -> Part 3 -> Part 4 -> Part 5

It had been close to about two weeks since I had last seen Jisung. Two weeks since he came over to comfort me. Two weeks since he left me a quivering mess in my kitchen, sitting a puddle of my desire. Two weeks since he walked out of my apartment after staying up until 2 am, over cups of coffee, talking. I could still feel the warmth of his hand, the only contact we allowed ourselves after the kitchen- I don’t know what to call that honestly. I could feel the growing bubble of ‘what ifs’ already taking root inside me. I am dumb, so dumb.

I totally scared him off, way to play it cool, man! I pulled the scrunchy from my hair, letting the waves come down around my shoulders. I scrubbed a hand through my hair, groaning as I slumped forward, elbows resting on my knees.

I had been sitting in my living room, trying desperately not to think about Jisung. Or his hair. Or his eyes. Or his hands. Or his- 

Did I think we would start dating after that? 

DUH. Okay no, not really, but maybe at least something!

To be fair, we had received a new project at work that had me around the clock, night and day working and I genuinely struggled with texting back anyone, but it wasn’t like he was also asking me to hang out either! I grumbled, looking down at my phone again to the still ‘0’ notifications. I could feel myself starting to get anxious and angry. ‘Please tell me you feel the same way’ my ass. I groaned and flung myself back against the couch, narrowing my eyes at the tv screen, Criminal Minds playing the background. I had been watching this when he was here- already 6 seasons past that point. I pouted and rubbed my socked feet together, my fingers tracing the dragons tattooed on my thighs.

Wow this.. actually sucks. I could feel start to wake up in the back of my mind, that dark inkling fear of being alone. That I'm alone. Always alone. I bite my lip, scrolling through my favorites and quickly calling my only lifeline. 

“Hello!?”

“Lix?” 

I could hear the rustling of phone as it sounded like he was holding it between his head and shoulder. I could hear him grunt and immediately tore my phone away from my hear, disgust present on my life. All previous emotions putting a pause.

“Oh! Felix- what the fuck! You better not be having sex!”

“PFFT! ______!” He sounded scandalized, his gasp a dramatic high pitched noise. “Why that’s not very nice!” 

I rolled my eyes at my best friend, a ruthful smile present on my lips. If there was one thing I could be sure of, I really wasn't alone, as much as my mind liked to convince me.

“Actually yea, I take that back. You are that much of a pervert-”

“Exactly!”

“-At least you have shame to hide your weird kinks!” The smirk growing on my lips.  

“Yea! At least I have- Hey! What the fuck are we even talking about right now!? Did you just call to insult me?” Felix growled over the phone, his voice going back down to a deeper pitch. I snorted as he hurriedly explained that his kinks weren’t weird, but linked to our genes and traumas. “-And another thing! We DON’T kink shame in this household!” 

“God, that Sex and Psych class really did something for you didn’t it?” Referring back to the elective course he and I both took to get our final Humanities credit. The class wasn’t bad and actually really informative, but it left a lasting impression on Felix, who ended up staying an extra two years to minor in psychology specifically about sexuality. And to think this guy wanted to go into business. 

“I’ll have you know humans are complex creatures and society has been made it to a mission to shame us for what-“

“Alright dude, we don’t have all night for this, now did you want to hangout tonight or not?”

“Well jeez! I don’t think I even remembered you asking if I was free!?” I whined into the phone, my foot stomping on the carpet.

“Pleeaaseee Lix! I just- I gotta go out or something!” He tsked through the phone before relenting saying he’d meet me in 10 to head to our favorite bar. 

***********************************

Pulling up to the Rooftop was always a hassle, but thankfully, Felix decided to order you both an Uber so that he could get as he said “blacked the fuck out”, I whined telling him it was me who was having a rough few weeks, I deserved to be getting fucked up.

"Please, ______, don't act like I didn't smell the two joints you smoked before I even arrived-" I smirked at Felix as he shook his head in disbelief. "-like legit, it took 10 minutes to get to you."

I shrugged, my eyes falling closed. "What can I say? I'm a connoisseur."

Passing the bouncer, our IDs already out and displayed as he let us walk in. The beat of the music and loud chatter from bar patrons drowned everything out as I pulled the strap of my tiny purse further up my shoulder. I walked towards the bar, wiggling my fingers at Sana, who winked at me as she finished handing a customer a drink. She whistled and eyed me up a down as she came over to our side of the bar. I had chosen a form fitting black jumpsuit, with long sleeves and thumb holes and my white kicks. 

“______, look I know I hit on you jokingly-“ I gasped in mock-offense, my arms crossing against the bar, boobs pushing up together, smirking as Sana’s eyes darted down, watching a slight flush hit her cheeks. “But for real, give me a chance, baby.”

Baby. I felt my heart stutter. My mind immediately flashing images of a certain brown-haired, brown-eyed boy. I focus back on Sana, and give her wink. “Who knows, Sana! You just might win me yet!” She laughed, her pretty lips tugging back in a smile as she prepared our usual drinks.

And honestly, why not give her a chance, Sana was hot as fuck, witty, and charming as hell. 

But she’s not Jisung-

Exactly! She wouldn’t basically ghost me after making me feel endless universes’ colliding in my stomach, ruining me for anyone from just a stupid kiss. Sana placed a rum and coke down in front of me and a vodka red bull for Felix. We cheers, both quickly throwing back the entire glass and slamming them down on the bar. I moaned and threw my head back. 

“Felix, this is literally what I needed, you don’t understand!” I pouted and looked over at him, eyes shining brightly. “Am I ugly?”

Felix started nodding before I finished, face sympathetic. 

“I thought you knew-“

“Hey!” A laugh bursted from my lips, as I slapped his arm. “You asshole! I’m serious-"

“So am I!” I pinched his side and he yelped, jumping in his barstool. His knee banged against the bottom of the bar and I fell in a fit of laughter against it.

“T-that’s what y-you fucking get!” Felix rubbed at his knee, eyes glaring at me as he asked Sana for another drink, purposefully making a point to ask her not to give me another. That sobered me up quickly as I pouted, reaching towards Sana with grabby hands. “Don’t listen to him! You’ve known me longer.”

“True-“ Sana ran her tongue over her bottom lip, clicking and tilting her head to the side. She turned her gaze to Felix, who leaned in smiling at her, the glitter around his eyes making him look ethereal as the transparent shirt shimmered like water as he lifted his hand to glide a finger across Sana’s hand that rested flat on the counter. “But I wouldn’t mind taking a dip in the deep end with you, Lix.”

I grimaced pulling back from them. 

“How could you! I thought what we had was special!”

“_________?” 

My back straightens as I whip around to see those eyes. Those big, beautiful eyes. Those big, beautiful, dumb eyes. 

“Jisung.”

He blanches, the hopeful look in his eyes faltering as he took in my cold demeanor. I could feel the blood rushing to my ears, god why did he have to look like that? His hair looked soft as ever, dressed in a black long sleeve shirt, black pants, and chunky boots. His gold necklaces sparkled. I hated it. He looks sooo fucking good. 

“Uh- h-hey, how’ve you been?”

“Fine. Yourself?” Jisung now frowns, his eyes darting all over my face. He must have found what he was looking for as I watch him visibly dissolve in front of me. Ah fuck now that hurts. He shoves his hands in his pocket, rocks back on his heels. 

“It’s alright, _______. I get it-“ he cleared his throat, a nervous laugh coming out as he ran a hand through his hair. “I hope you have a really good night. And uh-“ his eyes flickered over to Felix, something passing through them. “Be safe.” 

He mumbled out the last part and turned around quickly. I watched as he shuffled back towards a booth in the corner. I could recognize the two men that had accompanied him to the cafe, watching us with still curious eyes, except now, one of them met my gaze with a frown. Alright, now why's he looking at me like that. I turned back around to be met a raised eyebrow from Felix. He nodded his head over to the booth and leaned closer to me.

“Is that him?” I avert my gaze and take a peak behind me to find, oh god-

He’s staring. 

And he looks so sad. 

I turned back forward, choosing to ignore Felix's question as he already figured out just who left me in turmoil yet again, calling out for Sana to give me two shots of rum and another round of our drinks. Felix sputtered next to me, scandalized. 

“I was gonna be the one to black out!”

I scoffed at him, downing one of the shots and shoving the other towards him. 

“I don’t want to get drunk, I need courage.” 

Felix gave me a look, his eyes softening and an understanding passed through them. He gave me a small smile, hand reaching over to pat me on the top of my back, rubbing my shoulder. Felix threw his shot backs, coughing lightly. 

“God I hate rum- you’re sick for enjoying this so much-“ he turns his body towards me, his chin resting on his hand as his other arm came to rest on the back of my stool. I watch as his gaze goes to something behind and a surprised look makes itself known, his mouth forming the shape of an 'o'. “Also, I can’t help, but think maybe you won’t need anything liquid courage with the way he’s staring at yo- actually no, glaring at me really.”

Wait, HUH?!

I grabbed onto Felix’s arm and dug my nails in. Felix yelps, trying to tug his arm out of my hold. My cheeks suddenly felt hot and I reached to take a sip of my drink, chewing on the tip of the straw. 

“Is he really?” Felix snorted, sipping on his second vodka red-bull. His gaze going back behind me, and an evil smirk making its way onto his face. 

“Oh yea, I don't think he's stopped since he sat back down to be honest with you,” I gasped, my mouth falling open, eyes sparkling, before letting go of his arm finally to down the rest of my drink. I hopped up from my stool, slamming my purse down on the bar, giving Felix a look. 

“Guard this with your life. Now I’m gonna casually turn so I can see his cute dumb face and then I gotta pee like hella badly.”

Felix chuckled, before leaning in, placing a hand on top of mine and squeezed it. His nose almost touches mine and the smirk on his face widens. 

“Wanna make him jealous?” 

I roll my eyes and push at his shoulder, snorting at him. So stupid. I wasn’t one to be petty in that way. I preferred a more intimate type of pettiness and while I may be so frustrated at him, I didn’t want Jisung to think I was like that. Fuck him. I shook my head at Felix and turned to head in the direction of the bathroom. I started at the almost desperately helpless eyes that met my stare as I took my first few steps.

Jisung sat in the booth with what looked like an air of casualness, legs spread so that one was under the table, the other in front of him. I would've thought he was indifferent if it had not been the erratic bouncing of his leg, slight rubbing of his hand on his knee, and that look in his eyes told me he was anything, but indifferent.

I bite my lip, furrowing my brow, absolutely confused. Honestly, it really wouldn’t hurt me if I just reached back out to him. It's not like he hates me or anything, but still why didn't he ever text me. The phone does go both ways, I could’ve- should’ve said something more. This was my problem, why I spent countless nights, sitting in my room. 

Because it’s hard!

I averted my gaze from his, moving quickly to the bathroom. I finished my business, washing my hands before I’m left staring at the mirror. I did look good, beautiful even, my suit accentuating my figure and I turned to gaze at myself. A small smile made its way on my face, before I realized, I wish I was here with Jisung. Not that Felix wasn’t great company, but seeing him here.. All I wanted was for us to hold hands again. To kiss me again. To have him smile at me as he calls me 'his baby'.

Oh god. 

I shuttered at that, man was I sick. Hold hands with a guy once and now I’m obsessed. Maybe I should start therapy again. I threw out the paper towel, thankful that Rooftop was at least conscious of making the indoor bathroom a push door. I pushed it open with my butt, hands going up into my hair to form a bun, having forgot my hair-tie in my purse, feeling like I was starting to heat up from anxious feelings starting to surface. God, I need a hit. I gasp, my hands tightening in my hair as I found Jisung leaning- waiting -against the opposite wall from the restroom. His hands were shoved in his pockets, his head down, but shooting up once he heard the door opening. 

“Hi.”

“H-hi,” god he was so cute. He cleared his throat, standing up straight. He shuffled closer to me, his eyes hard to read as he gave me a soft smile. I watched his eyes slowly run down the length of my body, taking me in completely for the first time. He gradually returned to my gaze, his face almost unreadable, but I could see he was holding himself back. Back from what? “You look really beautiful tonight. I uh- I had wanted to tell you earlier. I- I’m sorry if I interrupted your date or if I-“

“Felix is just my best friend,” Jisung’s mouth snapped closed, his eyes flashing up to mine. “And I’ve never even remotely had feelings for him whatsoever and neither has he for me.” 

Jisung continued to stare at me, his expression growing even more unreadable. It was just like that first day meeting, I could see the gears turning in his brain as he needed a second to reset. Having let my hair fall from the initial shock of seeing him, my arms wrapped around the middle of my stomach and I stepped closer to him. 

“I just need you to know that I’m not talking to anyone or anything,” I took a deep breath, rubbing the tops of my arms before looking him the eyes again. “And, I’m sorry I didn’t text you. It’s not an excuse, but I got busy with work and I’m just not good- not the best at time management, but I'm working on that- but I could- should have at least said something to you.”

Jisung immediately starts shaking his head, hands coming out of his pockets to finally reach towards me, but pulling back at the last second. Biting his lip hard, his hands forming fists at his sides.  

“No, Ba- _______- fuck- Please don’t apologize. Fuck, I’m sorry, it’s on me. I should’ve been the one to call you and reach out. But-“ He groaned, scrubbing his hands into his hair, frustration and desperation oozing from his pores. I could feel myself perk up slightly, ears already picking up on the word he nearly dropped. I stared at him as he looked everywhere else, but me, his lips pouting. “You had just been so vulnerable with me and god I felt like I had taken advantage of you-“

“Taken advantage?”

“I mean there you are crying about your bad day, only trying to just tell me about it and I- I kiss you!”

“I wanted you to kiss me.”

“God, I felt like such an asshole, but you just looked so beautiful and sweet and just small and were looking at me like you just needed me and- wait what did you say?”

I laughed, finally closing the distance between, hand grabbing a hold of his fist, pushing my fingers to interlock with his. 

“I wanted you to kiss me and I really enjoyed it. You have been the only thing on my mind and I do want to apologize that you felt that way-" I shook my head, taking a step closer to him. "Jisung that was the best unconventional first date I’ve ever had. I didn’t feel taken advantage of at all.”

It was his turn to laugh, one out of relief, as he pulled my hand towards him, his other hand coming to wrap around my waist, his forehead coming to rest on mine. His eyes were closed, but I could feel the tension slowing leaving his body the longer he held me. 

"Baby, I can't tell you- I mean I just, fuck," I muffle my laugh, digging into his embrace. "The boys were telling me I was getting too much in my head and that you would have said if you were uncomfortable-"

"True."

"I just- you're so cool to me and I feel like I'm doing everything for the first time."

I bite my lip, taking a deep breath of his cologne as I rubbed my cheek against his shirt. "I feel it too, so I get it and I could have also just sent you a text too-

"No!" Jisung shook his head, arms tightening around me. "That was on me, pretty, definitely dropped the ball on that. I'm taking full responsibility!"

I laughed as I pulled my head away to look up at him.

"Jisung?"

"Hmmm?" He has this content smile on his face, swaying us as we held on.

"Will you go on a date with me?"

The swaying stopped and a deep red bloomed on his cheeks. Jisung stared down at me in wonder. His breathing stopped too as he continued to gawk at me.

“Are- you’re sure?”

I nodded, my hand coming to rest on his cheek as I leaned up to peck his lips. I moved back and smiled at the dazed look on his face, smothering the laugh the was threatening to come out, I rubbed my thumb back and forth on his chubby cheek. 

“I’m sure,” he basically melted into my hold, both of his arms now wrapping around my waist and lifting me slightly off the floor. I shrieked, hugging him closer, nails scratching lightly at his back.

"Fuck yes! Holy shit! You're my girlfriend!"

"I said a 'date'!" Laughter spilling from my lips, as he mumbled 'details' and 'soon' in between the pecks he left on all over my face.

Yea sometimes I could be really dumb. As Jisung squeezed me tighter to him. Really dumb. As he held my hand, walking us out to meet with his friends who had migrated to the bar now speaking with Felix. Like so enormously dumb. As he kept his arm around my waist the rest of night, excitedly introducing me to his friends and co-producers, Bangchan and Changbin (or as they call themselves as a group, 3RACHA). Like maybe Felix had been right with how many times he’s called me ‘pabo’. Because what was I thinking that I could have scared this guy off? I looked up at him, catching his gaze as he spoke animately to Felix about ‘Clash of Clans’ and without skipping a beat, he leaned down, his lips grazing mine before pulling away to continue speaking with Felix, who was now fake gagging along with Bangchan and Changbin. 

Yea I could be totally dumb sometimes, to think I could have missed out on him. So dumb.

[whoisneo404]

maybe nick and his bf are making out and they are caught by matt and chris and then some days after that they are caught by matt and chris but they are having sex and matt and chris are teasing them after that idk something like that would be so good in my opinion

(english isn't my first language so i hope you understand what i mean! also if you don't want to do it, then don't-i won't be mad. have a good day!!😊😊)

Caught.

Summary: You and (boyfriend) Nick have been making out on the living room when Matt and Chris decided to pay a little visit.

Tw: cursing.

Note: I just did the part where they are making out because I didn’t knew how to write the other part, I hope that’s all right. Kinda short too.

The movie played unnoticed on the background while Nicks mouth was pressed against mine, his lips softly moving against mine, my hands playing with the strings of his hoodie and his hands pulling me in by my hair.

It has been a while since his brother went to their rooms, we decided it would be fun to watch a movie on the couch, but Nick grew bored of the movie fast and wanted to make out.

‘’WOW, not on the living room.’’ Chris voice sounds loud. Nick pushes me away from him, I look at Matt and Chris standing beside the tv and my face blushes a bit.

‘’What the fuck are you doing here?’’ Nick stands up and tries to push them out of the room.

‘’We just wanted to spend some time with our brother and his boyfriend. What’s wrong with that?’’ Chris is smiling and I can tell Matt is holding back a laugh.

‘’Just go away.’’ Nick mutters.

‘’But we just got here.’’ Matt smiles sitting besides me, Chris follows him sitting besides him. Nick covers his face and lets out a tiny scream while waking towards the couch and sitting beside me. ‘’So, what is the movie about?’’

‘’I don’t think they know, too busy smooching each other.’’ Chris says making a kissing face.

‘’Shut up.’’ Nick says throwing a pillow at him.

‘’Why? Is Nickie shy because he was busy with his boyfriend? Muak muak.’’ Chris smiles and throws the pillow back at Nick. Matt laughs and I try to hold mine back.

‘’I’ll literally kill you Christopher, stop it.’’ Nick tries to sound tough but his red face and nervousness got the best of him, making it sound more like a whine. Matt and Chris laugh more. ‘’I hate both of you so much.’’ Nick hugs me and hides his face on the crook of my neck.

‘’Well, your boyfriend hasn’t said anything. Tell him to defend you.’’ Matt says.

‘’Shut up.’’ Nicks voice is muffled by my body. I put my arms around his and rub his back.

‘’I don’t mind, I think it’s very cute when he gets like this.’’ I tell them, smiling.

‘’SEE, we are doing you a favor. He thinks you look cute, I’m the best wingman.’’ Chris smiles and nudges at matt who rolls his eyes.

‘’Let’s put another movie. I actually want to watch something.’’ Matt says while grabbing the tv remote.

‘’I wanna go to my room.’’ Nick mumbles to my ear, I chuckle and kiss his head gently.

‘’We can go after this movie, it will be all right, I’m here.’’ I feel him pout against my skin and then nods. ‘’It will be fun, you’ll see.’’

[skz-sage]

skz’s reaction to sage having to do a sexy choreography for aotm

taglist: @smh-anon @softieteez

song and choreography: dangerous woman by ariana grande

christoper bang

he would be very, very proud of her. he’d look away, cover his eyes at times, wanting to be respectful of her but he can’t help but look at the way she moves. all graceful and confident. him and hyunjin visted her during shooting, bringing her food she requested. he’d do anything to show his support for her. and he really means that. hyunjin would leave but chris would stay behind to make sure she has everything she needs. what a man.

lee minho

he would be forced to watch it by jisung, forcing it in his face. he’d both smile and cover his face. he’d text miju right after saying “I saw your cover.” “you’re the coolest, miju.” “but also what we’re you thinking??” see, in his head, miju is his pretty princess. minho isn’t very much the protective type but when it comes to sage, he’s protective. but he’ll let it slide this time. sage received so many messages from minho just because of this cover. at least she knows what’ll catch his attention.

seo changbin

oh boy, he can’t look!!! that’s sweet baby sage!! you’re gonna have to pay him to watch it. but eventually he did and he was in shambles. he was absorbed by her visuals. you could see her delicate feminine body type with a hint of abs and muscles. he’d give sage the biggest round of applause. him and miju are going out on a date for sure after this!

hwang hyunjin

he’d honestly be pretty surprised. sage isn’t the type of person to do sexy dances like this. she likes to stick to the boyish choreographies, not these provocative ones. she wanted to try something new for stay and hyunjin was actually an inspiration for this! she sees so many of hyunjin’s dance covers and she’s absolutely in love with them. in short, hyunjin was very much blown away who knows, maybe hyunjin will be inspired by sage and make something of his own again.

han jisung

oh he’s fucking jumping, screaming, crying, hollering, literally everything and anything. he’s just at surprised at hyunjin too. in his head, he thought there wasn’t a girly part of miju ever! because she’s very messy and boyish just like the rest of them. he can’t get himself to look, he’s covering his eyes and screaming. but he’s ok as soon as it’s over. hell rant about how beautiful, elegant and awesome sage is at dancing, explaining how she’s good at everything too. when it comes to her, he’s very passionate.

lee felix

he’s absolutely starstruck. he’ll be watching her with admiration in his eyes. hell act like such a stay. saying like “SON MIJU ACE OF STRAY KIDS” “MARRY ME!!” (minho giving him a death stare while felix says all of this 😔) felix also asked her to teach him. which caught her off guard but he said he just wanted to spend more time with her. like i said before, they always miss each other.

kim seungmin

the way he wouldn’t stop babying sage after this. waking up sage in the mornings with “cutest son miju~ wake uppp~”. it was rare for seungmin to baby her so this… is very odd to her. sage doesn’t know if she loves it or hates it. also, the dance is sexy. why would seungmin be babying her?? I don’t know, you would have to ask him! even then, I don’t even think seungmin would give you a clear answer. he just thought she was so adorable. I mean after seeing her, who wouldn’t?

yang jeongin

he’s the one to say something like “delete it!”. in his head he’s like “is this the real sage im watching?” because it’s just so odd to him that she’s dancing in such manner. of course not saying he doesn’t like it, he loves it! he’s just saying it’s weird to him seeing her moving her body in such a way. either way, he’s supportive. saying. “that’s our son miju!! look at her go! wow!!” she’s his little sweetheart!