#was published over a decade ago too 😭

[allthegothihopgirls]

read a sickening luke + nick (twdg) fic today and i'm not going to be over it for weeks i fear

[darrowsrising]

Can we talk about how smart Darrow is

I'm tired of people thinking that he's really stupid or a himbo when he's so emotionally intelligent and a great strategist, yeah, he's not a genius like Adrius or Virginia or a faux intellectual like Roque but he doesn't need to, his survival depends mostly on his street smarts

he can be oblivious and make silly mistakes but people sometimes take him too seriously when he plays dumb when he needs it to excuse his awkward behavior and intentions.He manipulated Adrius at the institute, manipulated the sovereign and Nero, Virginia had to take a step back to reevaluate how she sees him twice in RR and GS and she agreed with him in Iron gold 😭 this woman wouldn't marry a dumbass

THIS WOMAN WOULDN'T MARRY A DUMBASS.

Unless she was going to kill the dumbass and send his head in a box back to his family 🤭🤭🤭.

Darrow is extremely smart and one of the best strategists. The reason Atalantia even got as far as tricking Darrow is because of Atlas and his decades of experience at war in the Kuiper Belt.

People are severely biased about intelligence in the Red Rising characters. Darrow is somehow dumb and stupid for trusting certain characters, but when he tells others not to trust their ENEMIES, he's either buying his own myth or he is throwing a tantrum. This is what you get when you take things at face value and refuse to use braincells.

Benefit of the doubt expired decades ago in this infernal war. The fact that we have to deal with these idiocies and have Darrow suffer the consequences - not only of his actions, which I would understand - but everyone else's too, is frustrating af.

People were genuinely surprised that Darrow figured out Atlas was behind the massacres in the Rim. I mean...are you for real? Have we read the same book?

Of course he is the only one to figure it out. Of course he knows politics, of course he keeps Virginia's addresses to the Republic on his dataPad, of course he studied her works since she began publishing. Of course hw can keep up with Articifers and Engeneers, Pilots and mathematicians. Of course he actually enjoyed reading absorbing the forbidden works. Of course he is emotionally intelligent and extremely self-aware. Of course he has changed over the years via self-questioning and gathering more info.

I am putting a keep reading here, to compact it a little.

I don't understand how we are debating this. He is stubborn about seeing the good in people - so when he tells you someone is beyond trusting, he is not the dumb one when you don't listen - and equally stubborn about his purpose - which is understandable. Neither of those make him stupid, but yes, they can be flaws - they are in certain situation just like they are qualities in others .

Speaking of understandable, how is it understandable when other characters do dumb, idiotic and/or vile shit in general or against Darrow, but when Darrow is having problems, he is called all kinds of names?

You see, people don't abandon people they love, they abandon people they are done using. And I am tired of the arguments that everyone's motives in hurting Darrow are right 'from their perspective'. Everyone is a hero in their own story, the difference is, Darrow is perfectly aware from the start that he he is not one - he is hyper conscious of his deeds and it kills him to have to do what it takes.

He never called himself a hero of his people. Somehow people can graps the fact that Darrow can do ruthless things to achieve a goal that is morally correct, but they cannot grasp that a character can justify their choices as morally correct based on their circumstances, but that doesn't make it correct.

Darrow knows what he is doing is not heroic or exactly in tune with his own moral compass, he does it anyway when he has to. His circumstances leave him leeway to do it, because things are THAT dark. However, not every character is that self-aware. They can justify themselves and people can gobble it up, but it still doesn't make it right.

And while it can be for far less heinous crimes like certain behaviours or treatment of people around them, just because a character acts a way that makes sense for who they are and they can justify it, it's not automatically good.

Just because it's not that bad of a thing from a character's perspective, doesn't mean it's not objectively bad. Regardless on the amount of info they operate with. Somehow Darrow can be blamed for acting upon little info, but no one else, just Darrow.

Yes, Darrow is very unaware of things happening around him - like relationships, but he got better at it with age. He also finds it surprising to find out people are in love with him - he has a one-track mind called Mustang's Bitch. That doesn't make him a himbo in the least.

More than that, he does make mistakes in his decisions as ArchImperator or leader in general. He is too instransigent/harsh about his goals and wants to take it upon himself as to not drag his loved ones with him. And it's tragic and lonesome and a hell of a flaw. Hopefully he got better at dealing with it. But all that makes him human. Not dumb.

I get that everyone seems smarter between Cassius and Diomedes - sorry, but...LB established these two are extremely dumb - but I still consider debating Darrow's intelligence is absurd af even then.

So yeah, love talking to you 💖🐺💖🐺💖🐺

Edit: I wanted to add that Darrow does not take himself too seriously while still being naturally dramatic and that is also very intelligent of him.

[loganlostitall]

Talking to the Moon

Rating: 13+

Word count: Just under 3.5k

Characters: Judith Grimes, Negan Smith (NOT A SHIP!!!!!!); mentions of Carl, Rick, Michonne, Carol, Enid, and R.J.

Setting: Alexandria, post 6 year jump

Content Warnings: sibling grief, talks of death, a little bit of suicidal ideation in here too I think, vulgarity, light talk of typical TWD violence, just lots of sad. Sorry. Fluffy ending tho!

Summary: Judith is getting older, and it’s not fair that Carl isn’t.

Author’s Note: Okaaayy so I really did not want the first piece I published on here to be an angsty vent but life kinda decided to bodyslam me (as usual) so anyways have this lol. I spent all day yesterday writing this in between crying fits and I’m only finishing it now.. oopsie whoopsies. A little context I guess, my older brother was shot and killed 5 years ago, and in 5 years I will be older than he got to be. That’s heavily implemented in here, as well as just the majority of Judith’s dialogue being my own thoughts/feelings. Sometimes it just hits you again, man. My therapist likes me to write it out 🤷🏻 I’m workin on other stuff that isn’t like this so pls bear w me y’all 😭🙏🏽

Beta’d by @murdadixon as alwayysss

Midnight marked her 10th birthday. 

She liked to keep track of time in intervals of five. R.J. was currently an interval of 5. He died at an interval of five. She was reaching an interval of 5 herself, right now. In a demi-decade, she would encounter the age he’d never passed; and in a decade, she would be 5 years older than he’d ever be. Five felt significant, and she did not—she simply felt like her brother’s stand-in. 

Judith sat on the edge of the wooden boardwalk with her legs drawn up to her chest and both arms wrapped around her knees, chin rested atop them, and stared blankly at the water source before her. Tried to mimic its stillness. But she disrupted it, instead, because the tears swimming in her brown eyes splattered down and sent ripples coursing across the surface, growing larger the further they fanned out and expanded. 

That was, similarly, how missing Carl felt. At the start, it was a heavy impact, it obliterated the calmness, and as the years blazed past, it got further away and yet simultaneously… bigger. How could something shrink and grow? How could she grow, every day; and yet consistently feel as if she were being pushed back, made smaller? Small enough to be back in his arms again, like before, like that final night she knew him. 

She would appreciate his last words this time. She would wrangle her brain up into her juvenile hands and pin it down to carve them over the top of her damn hippocampus to keep them there; even if it did mean her blood got everywhere, even if it meant she lost all the rest of her cognitive function. Truthfully, she did not want to function this way. Being medically brain dead would be a graciousness. Or maybe just being bit.

Feeling the fever Carl did would unite them in a way. 

The panels beside her creaked recognizably, a familiar gait and stride, and Judith’s fingers twitched to move instinctively for a gun she knew she wouldn’t brandish. The scuffed tips of two large black boots entered her peripheral vision but she did not turn her gaze. 

“Hey there, Miss Grimes.” 

Negan sat in a loose mirror of Judith’s position—he struggled with holding his legs in exactly the same manner and had to improvise considerably. He got himself comfortable with his legs toward his chest but with a short gap between his thighs, toes pointing outward instead of inward as Judith’s were, and both forearms crossed above his knees to lie his head upon. 

“Don’t really like water, kid, but I’m diving in there after ya if you jump, so please don’t, alright? For me?” 

The preteen wiped her right cheek against her bicep and tilted her head to rest the left cheek against the adjacent knee and look at her guest. Her eyes weren’t really seeing him, but she was trying to acknowledge the fact that he’d joined her. “How’d you get out?” 

He ignored that she ignored his question and instead plastered on the usual grin, even if the edges were heavy and worn down, and lifted a finger to his smile. 

Shhhh, it’s a secret. It went without saying. 

“I should shoot you. I brought my gun,” she pestered, poking a bear with a stick. Only, this bear was a puppy. And the humor behind the words didn’t reach her tone. 

He decided not to address her monotony.

“Mmhmm. Right.” 

“I would.” 

“I know,” he grinned again, more genuinely, and his side administered a dull throb almost out of nostalgia. She had, in fact, shot him. He wouldn’t challenge that.

There were only a few moments that went without speech. Judith found herself gazing ahead again, tapping her right cowgirl boot without tempo because it was simply to alleviate the odd, incessant gnawing in her gut that screamed to bounce her leg, or else. 

“Why don’t I get to have a word?” she blurted out, albeit quietly, almost unaware that Negan could not read her mind and was clueless to what she really meant. The man hummed questioningly as if to say ‘continue,’ and Judith finished verbalizing the thought. “I mean… mom’s a widow, and you’re a widower. Enid is an orphan. Aunt Carol is a v- vi..lo..mah, she lost her daughter Sophia.” The young girl struggled on the pronunciation momentarily before returning to the point. “But what am I? Just… a kid who lost a brother? Don’t I deserve a word? Doesn’t Carl? I think he deserves more than one. I would give him them all.” 

In truth, Negan would not have heard the second half of her statement had they not been knee-to-knee. Even from only having a view of the profile of her face, he could tell that she was fighting back the need to cry. The intensity with which she swallowed, the twitch of the corners of her frown, her small nostrils flaring. She was probably also avoiding allowing her voice to crack. 

Kids don’t ever deserve to feel this way. Adults can hardly even cope with loss. He’d seen it sometimes before, the occasional teen with swollen eyes and dark circles wordlessly offering him a slip with a small, rectangular obituary card stapled to the top left corner to excuse a few days of absence after the passing of a parent, guardian, or otherwise crucial family member. And similar to now, he truly tried his best… when it came to situations like that. It was hard—shit, it still is hard, but after eventually grasping that what most of them wanted was to just be heard (and not to be told that a kick-ass exercise routine could distract a weak mind, or about how being a pussy didn’t get you pussy), he’d take his attendance and approach again with a juniors mitt and baseball to throw at the wall and catch while they cried, screamed, shook, even dissociated some of them. He’d never been a great man, or honestly even a kind teacher; Savior Negan essentially just carried on acting as he had before Lucille’s confrontation, diagnosis, and passing; but the kids who saw through him loved him. When the rest loathed to hear ‘Mr. Smith,’ though no one was to blame for that but himself. To the damaged kids, the whole façade of coolness he tried to upkeep around his classes was utter horseshit because they found him badass when he let them bitch about things without taking to the nearest phone as a mandatory reporter. 

Judith was, arguably, the most mature ten year old with significant trauma that he’d ever sat with. Children that young hadn’t been his area of work, really, but there were a handful of times one of his high school students had to drag along a little sibling because they’d emancipated after the death of the only responsible parent, were granted custody of the kid, and the younger had a day off. Other stories, heavily similar or drastically different, with the same outcome. Judith was more put together than half of the seniors that had dished their shit out on him. In a strictly militant world and with no empire turning to him for guidance, there was no excuse to be assertive around her age bracket. He would tell her she was strong, that she was an Amazon warrior who could brave anything and then have to explain Wonder Woman comics, but the probability was massive that she could only grasp some variation of control over herself in these heavy moments because life now held a sickening promise that anything could be marred with a streak of blood. That you have to always be ready to mourn. 

So fucked up. 

His prior internal assessment to remain silent and give her more time to process her feelings into words proved correct when Judith turned her head back in his direction again with more to express to him. 

“Dad isn’t here anymore to tell me what Carl was like at my age. Or tell me stories about before everything got bad. And mom wasn’t around for all that stuff. But even if she was, I- I hate always hearing about him from other people. About how they won’t ever get to see him grow up. Why does everyone else get to remember my brother? Why doesn’t anybody care that I gotta know he’s not watching me grow up anymore? I want to remember Carl on my own, but I was too little!” Her delicate voice shattered beneath the weight of her last sentence, and the way her eyebrows were flying into all different angles on her face betrayed that her developing mind didn’t know what to do with the guilt that ignited furiously behind her ribs for seemingly such a selfish notion. It was a vicious fact that Judith almost never understood what she was feeling, not acutely. 

But, she trusted Negan. He’d told her things that no one else had cared to let her know. About Abraham. About Glenn. About Sasha, Denise, uncle Daryl. Everyone she loved had been damaged by him in some way, but… they’d all together affected him, too. 

Maybe he changed. Or maybe he’d been keeping this Negan safe. Whatever the case, here he was, out of his cell, not even allowing his knee to bump her own. 

This man had killed people? He was the kindest one here to her. Especially when it came to stuff like this. Other Alexandrians always dismissed her; she didn’t have any “adult” problems worth sparing their time for. How could the big bad wolf be so tame? 

Judith wiped both of her eyes and straightened her left leg out halfway. “If… if Carl hadn’t got bit, what do you think things would be like now?”

And that question certainly beckoned an answer. He had been allowing her to talk as much as she felt necessary tonight, content to simply sit quietly and be an ear for the little girl as she often was for him. His skull would have been split open on one of those prison walls years ago had it not been for his little window and Judith’s spark of rebellious humanity. 

Negan responded honestly, as was always the case with her. “I woulda killed every last one of these dickwipes, and brought you and Carl back to the Sanctuary with me. I don’t kill kids. But I don’t think your brother would have been too crazy about that. Nah, with those titanium balls of his, he would have taken me down, torn all of my people apart limb from fuckin’ limb. Yeah…,” he peered down at Judith, who was just watching him with her elbow on her extended knee and her cheek rested on her palm. No signs of distress. He continued on. “Yeah, Prick thought he was a badass, but Carl? Well, he was the real badass. Anybody could’a killed me, my bet was on him. Catch me off guard, I wouldn’t have fought back. I think he would have stocked one of my big ass trucks with everything he needed and taken off with you knowing he won. But he also would have lost everything.” 

Now, Judith’s energy had shifted back into that murky cloud it had resembled before. Not entirely, but to a noticeable degree. Negan cursed under his breath. 

“Did I scare you talking abou-” 

“You think Carl would have raised me all on his own? You really think he would have done that?”

“Oh, I know it,” Negan nodded adamantly, without aggressive urgency, and chipped a piece of plastic from the aglet of his shoelace to chuck into the water. “Carl loved you more than anyone else, I think.” 

A brittle, cracked sob drew his attention immediately to the little girl beside him, left hand reaching out to comfort on instinct and then hovering uselessly between them. Judith gave her permission with action instead of words; turning her legs off to the side to be able to roll onto her right hip and notch herself against Negan’s side. She rested her head against his knee and old tears from her cheek seeped through the thin material of his jumper. The previously awkward arm dropped around her own and he settled for hanging his hand at an outward angle away from her body. He’d comfort the kid but any one of the adults here would send Michonne into a goddamned stroke by reporting that he’d made an attempt against her daughter's life by, say, scratching the back of her head. Some asinine bullshit. He wouldn’t risk it, and not because of himself. No, he’s a big boy and can handle his own conflicts. But Judith would get in so much unnecessary trouble. 

After taking a minute to gather herself, Judith whispered, “I think I would have liked that better.” 

“…What, Carl taking care of ya?” He queried. “Y’know that means you wouldn’t have your mom, or dad, or-”

“Mommies and daddies die before their kids do, or they’re supposed to. Siblings are- they’re supposed to be there the whole time you grow up, and after. You’re supposed to live your life together. And they’re not supposed to die before you mom and dad do.” 

“Kid-”

“I want Carl. I’d give up anyone here to get him back.” 

It proved remarkably difficult given how much taller he was than her, but Negan managed to make do. He tilted his neck to a sideways angle and rested his head on top of hers whilst fishing through his right pocket. 

Judith peeked up at him. “What’re you doing? Are you gonna stab me for making you sad? I’ve still got my-”

“No. Don’t be nosey,” he goaded and even ventured so far as to stick his tongue out and wrinkle his nose. Her head dropped back down to his leg just as quickly as it rose, and Negan’s fingers closed around the surprise. 

“Sounds like a candy wrapper…,” she mumbled, still too lost in her own head and the darkness residing. 

Two bright blue pouches withdrew from his pocket, and his brown eyes traveled skyward. “Moon’s right above our heads now. Means it’s midnight. I got ya a gift.” 

A second, smaller pair of brown irises gazed upon the same sky, and her bottom lip began to give way into trembles again so Negan damn near shoved the quite literally sweet present directly in front of her face. 

Judith blinked, eyes focusing on the text in front of them that stood out violently against the package design. “What’s ‘Razzles?’” A small hand accepted the curious, but still exciting new treat, and read the yellow script surrounding the name at the top and bottom. “‘First it’s candy, then it’s gum’? What’s gum?” 

Negan had already ripped his open. “You’re about to give me one fat ass kiss, Miss Grimes,” he mused delicately, tossing three colorful disks into his mouth.

His much younger counterpart followed suit, unsure of how to react while the candy crunched before a scintillating smile broke out across her face and two more pieces joined the first. “Where’d you get these?”

“…Okay, don’t laugh,” he deadpanned, and couldn’t help but smirk when Judith narrowed her eyes at him and raised an accusatory eyebrow, still blissfully chewing away. “I’ve gotta secret admirer.” He drew his shoulders up into a loose shrug, threw his hands out in a ‘surprise!’ gesture and dropped his mouth open to an overly enthused smile as the preteen choked on gum. 

“WHAT?!? What do you mean?! Tell me, tell me!” 

He wouldn’t comment on how much tension finally dissipated from his body and mind at the eager enthusiasm on Judith’s face. This had all been so… glum. “Don’t know, but they slip me goodies through the bars on the window. I asked Father Freaky for some paper to draw, keep my mind busy y’know, and left a note up there requesting a special birthday gift for my best friend. They got dropped in this morning.” 

“So, someone here in Alexandria?” she asked, munching her way through her bag of sweets. There was a twinkle in her eyes, finally, so he’d entertain it. 

He shrugged idly. “I’d assume so. I’ve got my fingers crossed there’s some freaky deaky coming my way!!” 

“Oh, ew. There it is, you ruined this whole thing.” Judith pushed on the side of his knee with both hands to amass enough force to actually shove his leg over. 

“Damn. This whole thing, huh?” 

“Mmhmm,” she hummed, her mouth now so full of chewed up gray gum that speaking proved difficult. 

Negan chomped down on a considerable number of candies all at once and reached for Judith’s own pack of Razzles. “Alright, I’ll just take this then, since I fucked up your birthday and all.” A deep, rumbling laugh burst forth from up out of his chest when the ten year old shouted ‘NO!!!’ and a huge wad of gum rolled out of her mouth to plink into the water and bob along to float elsewhere. The pout her bottom lip garnished was impressive and Negan glanced around to the houses in the distance behind them, all of the windows being dark with the quiet insinuation of sleep, to ensure the absence of scrutinizing eyes before taking one of Judith’s hands into his own to unload half the contents of his own candy until her palm was overflowing and a few stray pieces thumped down against the wood. Negan administered the 5 second rule with a quickness and claimed them for himself. 

“Thanks,” she chimed faintly, and set about organizing the surplus of thin, cylindrical candies into separate groups of yellow, purple, orange, pink, and blue. 

Negan tucked his hand back to his side and pointedly did not give any attention to the prominent droop Judith’s shoulders adopted afterward. He wondered fleetingly if anyone in town ever just… gave the kid a hug. “Ah, don’t worry about it. Really. It’s not like I went out and found these myself.” He pointed one of his own bits of candy at her and added, “Well, you can always just find my paramour and thank them yourself.”                

She tilted her head back against his arm to smile up at him. “You just want me to get you deets. You have a crush on this person already, uncle Negan?” 

“I’ll love anybody who gives me attention at this point,” he shrugged again, tone steady despite the admission. “Aren’t I hopelessly in love with you, Miss Grimes?” 

Her braid swung and the sheriff’s hat far too oversized for her head shifted slightly out of place when she nodded. She tucked the intertwined strands of hair behind her ear after they fell into her face and tickled her nose. “I never hear mom say that she loves me.” 

“Ah, she does.” He tapped a finger against his temple once he knew Judith was looking at him and would see it. “She’s got a lot going on up here. But I bet if you went up to Mich and told her first, she’d say it back.” 

The young girl nodded again, though this motion was a simple, stiff jerk and only once. Drastically unlike the one he’d earned for himself just moments prior. Judith didn’t believe that Michonne really loved her, but she could easily surmise that he did. “Love you, too,” she murmured and a hefty sigh followed closely behind. Judith tapped the toes of her boots against the boardwalk and followed Negan’s offered instruction to bravely attempt blowing her first bubble. It snapped into a sticky disaster on her lips. The pair fell into a comfortable, innocent, expectationless silence. Negan eventually polished off the last of his candy and crumpled the wrapper up to tuck away into the pocket he retrieved it from, along with Judith’s once she’d finished her own. She was, reasonably, exhausted, and it didn’t take long for him to realize that Judith had drifted off leaning against him. 

Next thing he knew, the clouds were graying and little hands were nudging his arm, accompanied by a sleep-slurred voice telling him to wake up. His legs were numb from having remained in the same seated position for what had to be at least a couple hours, but Negan still managed to get himself up into his feet and follow her along as she led the way to his cell. A sheepish smile and tired shrug was all he could muster when her eyes lingered on the lock and bobby-pin discarded haphazardly in the middle of the concrete. He took his place on his cot and watched the child close the bars behind him and slide the lock back into place. 

Judith turned from him to walk away, but threw a drowsy smile over her shoulder and waved. And pointless as it was, he spoke after she’d left and her shadow had already passed by his solitary window.

“Happy birthday, kid.” 

I think I get attached to characters like Negan who are dangerous and have soft hearts because that’s exactly what my brother was like.

I miss my Carl ❤️‍🩹

This is my first time writing for TWD, and the first work I’m posting in over 2 years, so I hope it’s good for y’all 🥺

[inevitably-johnlocked]

i have a confession

recently i had some trouble and had to delete an email

problem is, i used the google docs there to write my fics. and i thought i downloaded them all, but only one of my major ones did, and i lost everything else

literally all of it

i am anonymous because i lost my tumblr acc but on ao3 i am veetheree, and i had this longer dilemma regarding my potterlock fic (pretty disillusioned with rowling and all.that, unsure whether to continue) but even so i saw that a lot of people subscribed to it and i wanted to at least see where the story leads, i had over 300k words apart from the 40k i published

and i domt hve it anymore :') i didnt check the process because it seemed okay and i had other uni and work stuff to take care of, and now i check it and :') it's gone :')) im not doing well, and i am going to delete the fic i think

i dont have the energy to maintain it and i dont want it to be left in the dust either - i have lost all hope for it, and this is just a punch in the gut. and i was proud of the plot and how i intertwined the 2 worlds too

this is mostly just a rant because i dont really have anybody else who can relate to the pain of fic writing and the challenges that come with it

also, as to why i had to delete the email - it's complicated, hacking situation and such, but it happened over 2 months ago so im not able to retrieve it and neither do i really feel like looking into it, im done with that fic for good 😭

that's all, thank you for being a safe space for me to go to, and i apologise to anyone who was waiting for that fic to be updated :(

Hey Lovely *HUGS*

OH GOODNESS, I'm SO sorry you had a garbage time with your email, and even more so, accidentally deleted fics from your Google Drive without saving all of them. I'm TERRIFIED of losing my own fics from my G-Drive all the time (I do actually write and have about 15 "snippets" of fics on there) and back them up religiously.

That said, I can understand how life can overtake literally everything and just make being online Too Much™ – happens to me all the time 💜🖤. And I know how disheartening it can be to just... not have the motivation anymore to continue on with something, heaven knows I've done that plenty in my 40 years, LOL. And Lovely, we have to remember to do what's best for us in the long run.

When I was a teen, I wrote a fairly popular Sonic fanfic series that I never completed, literally left it on a cliffhanger. This was back before even FFNet, and fics were distributed in the Sonic fandom on our Geocities pages via Webring, LOL. After life took over, it still remains unfinished over 20 years later. I recently found the original word docs of all 9 of the stories (with the 10th one half-finished) and while I cringe at my bad writing from back then, I still love immersing myself in that world. One of these days, maybe I'll finish it, because I do think it was a great concept and intriguing storyline that dealt a lot with humanity and sentience, just obviously written by a teenager, hahaha.

The point of that anecdote? We can still love the things we wrote, and still want to engulf ourselves in that world from time to time and not feel bad about it. And if you decide to come back to it a decade from now, that's okay too. You're only human.

And never EVER hesitate to come here for a friendly eyeball to vent to. I try my best to make y'all feel not so alone. Glad to see you are okay, Vee, truly. That's what's most important.

*SNUGGLE BUGGLE HUGGLE* I hope you have a beautiful, prosperous day. And I'm sure your fic-fans understand <3

[black-quadrant]

Hi!! I know those fics on ao3 are from literally a whole decade ago and you probably don't check on them anymore but I really wanted to say that your karkri fics are the highlight of my YEAR and they are so so important to me. Thank you so much for everything I hope you have a great day i mean week i mean forever 😭❤️

let it be known i THRIVE on comments ao3/anywhere on my works. it seriously motivates me on the days i do not feel great about my writing. so thank you for sending this beautiful uplifting message! i actually have sooo many more karkri fics buried in the tumblr depths here to transfer over to ao3. there's too many gems i need to unearth to publish officially. maybe i'll make that a summer project... this was the nudge i needed tho! this is the magic right here we writers live for. thanks again (and i'd love to hear some of your favorite stories/moments if you ever wanna share!)

[ruemxu]

HI sorry to not ask a silly question via here but i coukdnt find a non business email so sorry!!!recently got back into the newsprints world after i reread it for ghe first time since 6th grade a few days ago(i am now a junior☹️ and decided to purchase headlines but noticed that the quality on all the pages except for the first and last one isnt the best;;which sucked while trying to see the little notes and text next to concept art,,was wondering if there was any other way to view headlines in better quality??ive tried exporting it to google drive and files to no avail im so sorry to bother😭 but if not totally ok i understand!! i get that 1:1 fan issue stuff shoildnt be discussed on your Tumblr Page so if i have to be redirected to someone else my dms r open!!if youre not comfortable with that i completely get it either way thank you for making one of the defining books of my preteen years!!!!!<33

Hi there! I'm glad you like the NewsPrints series enough to support the little indie artbook I self-published over half a decade ago! I super appreciate it!

I don't think it's a silly question! This is actually kind of a semi-interesting story in book production, if you're interested in the backstory...

HeadLines was originally a limited print run (only 100 were sold), so it was easier to see the notes and art as spreads in a book you could flip through. After they sold out, I was asked to release it in digital, so I did. It sounds like the font size relative to the images is annoying in digital, though, which is a fair critique!

Unfortunately, 2015-16!Ru decided to use That font in That font size because it Looked Nice in print. I didn't even considered digital at the point, so this book is kind of a time capsule of my aesthetic decisions at that point of my life, the good ones and bad ones. x'D

(That reminds me, I remember the physical edition was $30 and personally signed and sealed. I'd be curious to see if any popped up on ebay over the years.)

The digital version is at screen resolution rather than print resolution to prevent someone from printing bootleg copies at the same quality as the official physical book after buying the PDF for $9. The best view size is around 100% in any PDF viewer, ideally on tablet or desktop. You might still have to zoom in a little to read it, though.

Sorry, let's keep the blame on past!Ru. I'm a new person. :'DDD

(The reason that the covers look like they're 2x higher in resolution is that they're actually twice as wide as the interior pages. The covers are 2-page spreads, but I didn't split them like I did the interiors. When the PDF viewer shrinks them to half their size to fit the PDF viewer's format, it does make the resolution seem twice as high, if that makes sense.

I should have probably also halved them so they looked like the interior spreads. You live and learn!)

TLDR: Sorry. The text-image layouts of the book were intentional for print reading, but they require some zooming in and out in digital resolution, but not too much past 100%.

Thank you again for the words of encouragement! I'm glad that Blue's world stuck with you for so long! Looking back at this project does evoke some ~Feelings~ and memories of growing pains. Next time I make another proper artbook like HeadLines, I'll use bigger fonts and/or get someone else to help me do the layouts!

[moonfromearth]

15 questions for 15 mutuals 💕

thank you so so so much @crusty-trait @akitasimblr @simelune @simmerstellar and @wildmelon for the tag you're all so sweet!! 🥰

1: are you named after anyone? Yeah a character in Practical Magic 😉

2: when was the last time you cried? Like... Two days ago? I think it was over schoolwork.

3: do you have kids? Nooooo. Honestly I'm super awkward around children just because I haven't been around them much so... Yeah.

4: do you use sarcasm a lot? Not really.

5: what sports do you play/ have played? I did ballet and tap for a while when I was like five, but other than that not a lot of sports.

6: what's the first thing you notice about other people? Overall vibes I guess? I don't really know but I guess that would count more as their body language so that 😅

7: eye color? Hazel.

8: scary movies or happy endings? Happy!!

9: any special talents? Writing and art.

10: where were you born? USA.

11: what are your hobbies? Writing, art, video games, aaand reading (although I've been slacking on it a lot).

12: do you have any pets? Nope, allergic 😭

13: how tall are you? 5' 4"

14: favorite subject in school? Probably language arts or art class. I did have this really awesome music class in sixth grade where we learned all about like popular music by the decade pretty much which was so cool and I still think about it. A lot of it I think depended on the teacher though.

15: dream job? Published author!! Working on a few projects now. If not that than I guess an editor maybe?

Hmm I'll tag... @minty-plumbob @come-hell-or-high-water @oswanily @gothoffspring @rainymoodlet @buglaur @papiermaker @saltybluffs @d4isy-nukes and anyone else who hasn't done it yet that wants to (I know that wasn't fifteen but I know a lot of people have already done it 😅)! Aaaand feel free to ignore, too.

[odessa-castle]

damn thg resurgence on the internet made me do a deep dive back into fics and booms and i discovered a new obsession with finnick and discovered Scylla and Charybdis and a view from the lists and just DAMN. what amazing writing, what an emotional gut punch. really thought I was safe filtering for complete fics 😭 do u ever think about writing that sequel mentioned (…or publishing what you had done of it)?

Oh dang, I didn’t know there was a THG revival going on! I should do a reread myself.

I’m so glad you enjoyed the fics! Scylla and Charybdis is still one of my favorite things I’ve written, and I’m happy folks are still reading it all these years later. (I’d apologize for the emotional gut punch, but I love writing those too much for any apology to be genuine.)

I’ve thought about the sequel occasionally over the years, but I lost the notebook where I was outlining and writing it, like, a decade ago. So…yeah, it’s unlikely. I can try to recap what I remember of the plot if that would be of interest, but uh, at least you know how Finnick’s story ultimately ends which I am STILL upset about all these years later, thanks for personally attacking me Suzanne Collins?

Finnick will always hold a special place in my heart, though, and his story is incredibly important to me.

[uselessheretic]

ok hot take but also i feel like the "ao3 needs as much money as possible bc theyre the last stand for fanfic rights and at any moment everything can be lost just like it was a decade ago" feels so... similar to the fear propagated by the state to defend anti terrorism initiatives or over policing. which i am not saying that these are the same things (fandom is just fandom in the end lol) but the way that this side of fandom is majority white women and kinda falling for the same line of thought is just...?

bc it is similar to the "we are the last stand against freedom and at any moment your lives can be taken away" based off of past threats where this "last stand" doesnt even fucking do anything.

but the inability to question anything with ao3 is just soooo weird where its viewed as questioning the right for fandom to exist. people see ao3 as the only thing protecting fandoms ability to exist and that they are the single thing keeping creators at bay from purging all fandom when forreal and actually? that hasnt been a threat for the last decade. the culture around fanfiction has changed since then where creators are more eager to see fans engage with it and encourage it. the handful of ones who dont are treated as a minority and kinda actively shamed. you really cant do an anne rice nowadays and not get a shit ton of backlash, not just from fans, but other creators too. like dude... if youre pitching books to agents they actually encourage you to mention if youve written fic because it shows how you engage with an audience 😭

that doesnt mean fic is safe with no threat against it, but the lack of action taken against fic isnt because of ao3... its just bc the climate has changed and ppl who were fans in the 90s are creators today

but again its a culture of "you cant question ao3 about ANYTHING or youre jeopardizing fanfiction" which is definitely bc of the weird polarization of proship/anti stuff that impacts shit thats not even relevant dndjdkdjdn like? wanting the site to update its tagging system, add the ability to save filters, block users, have a better response to harassment, actively state that it does not condone racism and bigotry, get rid of the invite system, etc etc isnt anything that really has to do with ship shit but its taken as Anti Stances which is fucking wilddddd

god or the whole... real minors having nsfw rpf of them thing (🤢) it was kinda wild to see proshippers reactions to it because from what i could see by going thru the qrts and blocking freaks...... most of them also thought it was fucking weird and shouldnt be a thing. which makes sense that the line between anime porn vs "wait but thats a kid???" is clear to even terminally online folks, but then ao3 refused to change it so instead of pushing back they just let it go. so it becomes another thing you cant question or else its threatening ao3 and youre one of the enemies.

iont know man but remember when that girlie on twitter "published" an article about how antis are a cult in ao3s shitty lil "peer reviewed" journal and it was so so sooo bad and had zero sources? its just kinda funny how the inability to question authority, the us vs them, and the financial exploitation is like uhh a thing w proshippers lol????

anyways this is why i think white women are forming a whole fucking fandom qanon bc the amount of absolute batshit insane things ppl say claiming that there are discords full of children being groomed by antis, that proshippers are dying in mass, and that their creative freedom will be taken away if you say "its bad to be racist" so they donate hundreds and thousands of dollars to an organization that straight up doesnt need it? LIKE................ someone call susans loved ones and help her out of this 😭

[fantastic-nonsense]

TAG GAME: FIC ROUNDUP

(not @sonicenvy tagging me in this because I'm a loser who shares all of my fic ideas with her at 2 in the morning 😭)

Anyway, the description: "new tag game i’m inventing for everyone and anyone who writes fanfic! Fic roundup!"

how many fic documents do you have/where do they live?

Somewhere around 30-35 that I'm willing to confess to; all of the others are either 'thing I wrote when I was 14,' 'here's a vague summary or idea of something I might want to write,' or single paragraph snippets that don't actually have a larger story attached to them.

MS Word: The vast majority

Google Drive: 2, and only one of them is an actual fic

Some vague ideas housed in my Android Notes app

a few that are still on notebook paper that I haven't transferred over to Word yet

what fandoms do you have fic for?

Several, and most of them are either unfinished or need major revamping. I've actually published fics for Nancy Drew, American Dragon: Jake Long, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Doctor Who, and Young Justice. All of those were written and published before I turned 16 and I largely no longer affiliate myself with them unless and until I do major revamps of them all.

For my WIPs....oh boy. Here's some of the notable ones actually worth talking about:

DCU: like.....10? Idk, It's a lot. Most notably, my active WIP that is 'Leave Me and Live' (aka, the "Jason and his mother figures fic"). I also have a "Tim is the glue that holds the Batfamily together" WIP, a couple of Dick-centric oneshots, a Cass-focused oneshot that's basically just me trying to build out her motivations for going to Hong Kong, and a Damian & Tim time travel fic on the backburner.

Star Wars: 4 or 5. Notably, I have my super expansive reworking of the sequel trilogy beginning with TLJ and a funny political drama oneshot (called 'Meanwhile in the Galactic Senate') about Padme and Bail trying to pass some legislation through the Senate.

Chronicles of Narnia: 3. I have a Susan character study oneshot, a Prince Caspian movieverse fic focused on why Susan the Gentle went on the Telmarine Castle Raid while Lucy the Valiant stayed behind, and a huge expansive book/movieverse AU where the Pevensies stay in Narnia at the end of Prince Caspian.

Miraculous Ladybug: 1. I have a Ladynoir 'East of the Sun and West of the Moon' AU I've literally had a vague outline for since Season 1 was airing, way back in 2015.

Doctor Who: 1. I started a fic called 'The Never Weres' back when I was 15 and Series 5 was airing that was all about the hypothetical lives of the Ninth and Tenth Doctors' Companions in Amy's Starless World (aka, the Doctor-less alternate universe from The Pandorica Opens). Obviously, I never finished it, and probably never will.

Young Justice: A few, but only two worth mentioning. I have a nearly finished 5+1 from a decade ago about the Team grieving Artemis and a "how the Teen Titans Apprentice arc might have happened in the YJ universe" WIP.

Macgyver (2016): 2; an infirmary fic set after 'Wilderness+Training+Survival' and another set in a canon divergent S5 where Jack never left Phoenix to hunt down Kovac but Desi still joined, where Mac gets kidnapped (and not just beaten up) by Murdoc during 5x10 and the rest of the Team has to hunt him down.

ATLA/Legend of Korra: 4. My unfinished 'Justice for Asami Sato' fic haunts me, y'all, but at this point it's never getting finished unless I go back and rewatch LOK...unlikely.

Those are the ones I actually have something written for; if you want my ideas folder well...that's a lot longer and contains a lot more fandoms (ask me about my Fullmetal Alchemist or Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries fic ideas sometime, lmao). tldr: I write too much fic for too many things and I never finish or post anything.

how long is your longest unpublished wip?

Right now, I think that's my Jason-centric fic "Leave Me and Live," which is currently clocking in at ~5k words with the fic about a third of the way done (💀). Excluding that one, it's probably "Control" (otherwise known as the aforementioned "Justice for Asami Sato fic"), which is somewhere vaguely around halfway done at 3k.

Technically, it's "Those Left Behind," my Young Justice 5+1 fic focused on Artemis; it's 9k with most of the final chapter left to write. However, since it is 'published' in the sense that 5 of those chapters are up on FFN, I don't really count it here.

what fic types are most common in your wips?

AUs and canon revamps, character exploration pieces, time travel fics, and hurt/comfort, with a couple of political dramas thrown into the mix (because unfortunately my professional life does sometimes bleed into how I consume fiction, and fictional politics both interests and bothers me immensely to the point of needing to write about it).

do you have any ongoing ‘verses/series in your wips, if so, what are they?

Oh yeah, I have two that I can think of off the top of my head:

My Star Wars TLJ/sequel trilogy reworking is tenatively a series of 3 fics: two long ones, covering the events of TLJ and my verse's equivalent of TROS, and a oneshot epilogue fic set about 5 years later.

My "Pevensies stay in Narnia at the end of PC" fic, which at the time I initially outlined it was (very ambitiously) four fics, each one loosely focused on chronicling 1-3 years that the Pevensies+Caspian spent ruling, with Fic 1 covering their first two years, Fic 2 covering Voyage of the Dawn Treader, and Fic 3 covering their fourth and fifth years in Narnia, with Fic 4 set a few years later and covering a modified version of The Silver Chair.

Theoretically I have more (there's a connected set of Batfamiily oneshots I've been vaguely thinking about), but none of them are actually formed or planned-out yet.

long or short fic?

both. both is good.

tagging @silverwhittlingknife, @bitimdrake, @diocletianscabbagefarm, @loracarol, @river-bottom-nightmare, @mollyhats, @titans-trash, and anyone else who wants to participate!