#was just adding a video to my watch later like 'oh video titled horror that made me lose sleep i cant wait to watch you!'

[kissingarthurclaus]

I like consuming horror content/media, I don't like anything after that point

[petersasteria]

To Dye Or To Die - Holland!Reader

Pairing: None Requested? Nah 2,040 words

Holland!Reader Masterlist || Ultimate Masterlist || New Year, New Taglist

* * * *

As soon as you turned 20, you wanted to color your hair. You told your mum, Nikki, about it before and she promised that she’d take you to the hair salon herself to dye your hair. So, you asked her about it and she said, “When you turn 21, I promise this time. I figured that you’re still a bit young to get a hair dye.”

That made you furious. You’ve been waiting to dye your hair ever since you were 7 years old when you saw Sharpay Evans’ beautiful locks in High School Musical. Being the only girl in your family, this made you become your dad’s favorite.

“Dad, can you please take me to the hair salon?” You asked sweetly with the smile you knew your dad couldn’t resist.

Without looking at his phone, he asked, “What did your mum say?”

“She said no, but-”

“Then, I won’t take you to the hair salon. Sorry.” He finally looked at you and gave you a sympathetic smile. Your jaw dropped and went to your room. You were majorly annoyed and pissed.

On the way up to your room, you saw Sam getting ready for work. You knocked on his door and he looked at you whilst fixing his hair. “What?” Sam asked.

“I just want to say that out of all my brothers, you’re my favorite.” You smiled and Sam did too.

“That’s really sweet, Y/N.” Sam smiled.

“You’re also my most handsome brother and obviously the best Holland brother. You’re the superior Holland.” You rambled, getting on his good side.

Sam gave you a look and fully turned to you with his arms crossed. “Okay, now you’re just chatting shit. What do you want?” He eyed you suspiciously.

“What do you me-”

“You’re saying shit because you want something from me. What do you want?” He asked with a raised eyebrow raised.

You sighed, “Can you take me to the hair salon?”

“No.” Sam shook his head. “But I’ll take all the compliments you told me.”He took his backpack and walked to his door. You immediately blocked the way and said, “You know, I take all of those back because you said no.”

“Oh, gee. I’m scared.” He said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

“Just take me there and then you can leave me!” You whined.

“You’re so annoying, I swear.” Sam shook his head. “Move, you little shit. I’m late for work!”

You moved out of the way with a big frown on your face as you watched Sam leave. You called out to him, “I HATE YOU, SAM!”

“Love you too! See you tonight, sea monkey!” He shouted and left.

You groaned and went to your room and slammed the door. You grabbed your phone and called Harry. He picked up in the first ring and before you could say anything, he asked, “If you’re going to ask me to take you to the hair salon, my answer is no. Listen to mum, for fuck’s sake.”

“How do you know about that?” You asked.

“Paddy and Sam.” Harry answered. “Don’t ask Tom as well because his answer will be ‘no’ and he’s out at the moment.”

“You know, for brothers, you guys suck!”

“And you swallow, bitch.” Harry said nonchalantly.

“Dickhead.”

“Calm the fuck down!” Harry laughed. “I’m hanging up now. I have shit to do.”

“Fine. Bye.” You said coldly. Despite not seeing him, you could feel him rolling his eyes at you as he said goodbye and hanging up.

“You know, you can just do it yourself.” A voice said out of the blue which made you jolt in surprise. You looked at your door and saw Paddy standing there, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

“Get the fuck out of my room.” You said to your little brother. He didn’t listen, though. He proceeded to go inside your room, closed the door behind him, and sat next to you on your bed.

“I’m here to claim my title as the best Holland.” Paddy said confidently.

“Calm down, you’re not Tessa.” You told him.

“I assure you that Tessa can’t help you with your hair problem. With my help, not only will I be the best Holland and best brother, your hair will be dyed just like you want it to be!” He exclaimed excitedly.

“Why do you want those titles so bad?” You squinted at him.

He shrugged, “Bragging rights. If they ask me why, I can say it’s because I helped you ‘achieve your hair goal’ and that’s the best thing to happen, right?”

“I guess so.” You said slowly, falling into his trap.

“Our older brothers aren’t the boss of you, you know.” Paddy added.

“Fine.” You said and looked at him. “What do you suggest?”

Paddy grinned, “I won’t fail you with my idea, sis.”

“Just tell me!” You pleaded.

“I heard that Melanie Martinez colored her hair without telling anyone. So she just went to the hair salon and dyed one half of her hair. She walked in the house with her real hair color facing everyone and she turned to everyone only to reveal that half of her hair was dyed.” Paddy explained.

“And what’s your point? That I should dye half of my hair?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“You’re so slow sometimes.” Paddy said. “I’m saying, you should just go out and dye your hair. You’ve been saving up, haven’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“So just go for it! Mum might kill you herself, but what’ll she do? Dye your hair like its natural color?” Paddy snickered.

“I mean… she might.”

“She won’t and I know that because she doesn’t waste money.” Paddy said and it was true. “Now what are you still doing here? Go out there and dye your hair blonde!”

You smiled at him and grabbed your jacket, phone, and wallet. With that, you’re out the door.

You arrived at your favorite hair salon and immediately told them what you wanted for your hair. Thankfully, there were only two other customers so they sat you down and quickly tended to your hair.

Unbeknownst to you, Tom was in the same area. He had a few weeks off and it was only his first week. He decided that it’d be a great idea to walk around town and relax. He walked out of Lacoste with one paper bag and his phone on the other. He called Harry as he walked around more.

“So, where are you? The thing you bought online just came and I want to open it.” Harry said on the other line.

Tom looked at the place behind him and said, “I’m in front of a hair salon at the moment.”

He looked through the glass and his eyes widened when he saw your hair which was practically white at this point because of the bleach.

“Oh my god, Harry.” Tom said in horror.

“What?” Harry said.

“I’m not sure if my eyes are playing tricks on me, but I think Y/N’s in the salon getting her hair dyed.”

“WHAT?!” Harry shrieked. “Mum’s going to kill her.”

“Not if I do it first on behalf of mum.” Tom said. “I’m going in there.”

“Yeah, you should. I bet you look like a creep just standing outside a hair salon. Can you imagine the headlines? ‘Spider-Man star, Tom Holland, found peeping at a hair salon’. That looks weird.” Harry said, laughing.

“Yeah, shut up. I’ll be home soon. Bye.” Tom said and hung up. He opened his phone’s camera and took a video. “Guess who I found.” He said as he filmed his way to you. The camera was facing you and you were too busy texting your group chat updates about your hair.

“I found Y/N!!” Tom said loudly, earning weird looks from people. You looked up with your eyes wide and you quickly turned to Tom.

“Tom?!” You panicked. He laughed and ended the video. He put his phone in his pocket and said, “Surprise, motherfucker.”

“You slumped in your seat and covered your face, “Oh my god.”

“You’re so grounded.” Tom cackled.

“Mum said I can color my hair when I’m 20 and I turned 20 already! It’s only fair for her to keep her word.” You huffed. Just then, the hairdresser called you to rinse your hair. You got up from your seat and walked to the area where your hair will be washed as Tom decided to sit in the waiting area.

An hour and a half later, you were finished and already paying. Tom looked up from the magazine he was reading and his jaw dropped. You were now blonde.

“Oh my days.” Tom said. “C’mon, I’ll drive you home.” He got up and walked out of the hair salon with you trailing behind, happy as ever.

Tom parked his car a little far away to enjoy his walk, so when you got in his car you were already tired.

“My sister’s fucking blonde.” Tom said as he started the car. “I mean, it looks good on you, but oh my god mum’s going to skin you alive.”

“Thank you.” You said with a smile.

Tom glanced at you with a weird expression before driving, “I just said she was going to skin you alive.”

“Yes, but you also said that it looks good on me. So, thank you.” You said playfully. “At least I’ll die with my dream hair color.”

“I’m disowning you as my sister. From now on, you’re Harrison’s sister.” Tom said.

“Meh, he’s cool anyway. I don’t mind.” You shrugged and unlocked your phone.

Tom was gobsmacked with your response, “Are you saying that I’m not cool?!”

You smirked, “You said that, not me.”

“You’re so un-fucking-believable.”

“I fucking know right.” You mocked.

 In a few minutes, you arrive at home. As soon as Tom parked the car, you took a mandatory car selfie with your new hair color. Tom looked at you and rolled his eyes before getting out of the car. You followed after at least taking 10 selfies.

He went inside first and you followed and closed the door behind you. He stood in front of you, completely shielding you from your parents.

“‘Tom! What a surprise, love.” Nikki said happily as she gave your older brother a hug. Tom hugged back and pulled away after a while.

“Look who I found today.” Tom grinned and stepped aside for your mum to see you. “Your beloved daughter is now blonde.”

“Oh my god, Y/N!!” Nikki screamed.

You made a face as if saying ‘yikes’ and said, “Hi mum.”

“What’ve you done?” Nikki asked with her eyes wide in shock as she touched your new blonde locks. “Oh my god.”

Dom walked in with Paddy and both of them had different looks on their faces. Dom was just as surprised as your mum and Paddy had a proud look on his face because he helped you.

“I’m surprised that you went with that color, but it looks good, love.” Dom said and nodded in approval. “I like it.”

“Thanks, dad.” You smiled and looked at your mum. She nodded and said, “I mean, the more I look at it, the more I’m getting used to it.”

“Do you like it?” You asked.

She was silent for a while and everyone was waiting for Nikki to say anything. After a minute, Nikki said, “It looks good on you, sweetheart.” She smiled genuinely.

“Thank you.” You smiled and you glanced at Paddy who had a smirk on his face and gave you a thumbs up. Everyone went back to their business and Tom went home shortly after that. Paddy pulled you aside and said, “I believe a payment is due.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Payment? I didn’t agree on paying you.”

“My help doesn’t come for free, you know.” Paddy said. “You should know that by now.”

“No wonder our brothers don’t like you getting involved with their shit.” You shook your head.

“Yup.” He said, popping the ‘p’. “I’ll get your desserts for two months.”

“What? No! I love Sam’s desserts.” You exclaimed.

“Fine. One month.”

“Three weeks or nothing at all.” You said. “Deal?”

“Deal.”

* * * *

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @thatforgottenangel 

𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓:  @holland-styles @trustfundparker @calltothewild @holland-parkers @hufflepuffprincess24

[bubblyani]

Bail Out: 05

(Bruce Wayne x Reader)

A Bruce Wayne Multi Chapter Series

Chapter 05: “No Fun”

Summary: One fateful, drunken night gets you arrested for assault.  However, once you get bailed out by Billionaire Socialite Bruce Wayne,  surprising obstacles get in the way, forcing you to question all your  choices in life, career, and in love.

Word Count: 8500+

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Swearing and Slight Violence 

Author’s Note: So glad I could finish this on time. Now I’m impatiently working on the next part. When you read it, you will know why. Thanks again for the wonderful response. Enjoy!

Chapter LIST

The rapid sound of gunfire, infused with blood curdling screams, certainly forced your heart to beat right out of your chest. The beating, increased without any prior announcement shocked you, as if the live, blood pumping organ might literally fall out of your flesh vessel. The scene you witnessed, was never expected but only imagined in modes of fiction. Be it novels or films. However, when you truly got to taste it in the rusty reality, only then did you realize the gravity of its horror. And only then at that fateful moment, did you genuinely fear for your precious life.

Just when it seemed trouble had finally set you free.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(A Few Days Earlier)

Allison Hughs was your quintessential fun-loving, living in the moment party girl with complete control over the pace of her existence. Apart from all that, she was also a loyal friend, blindly following you to the ends of the earth in ranting.

“SHE DID WHAT?”

Her inquiry was loud and dramatic, to which you nodded. “Yep” you replied, “She straight up went there…”

Safe to say, the ‘She’ that was being mentioned here was none other than Clara Bennett, the Consultant who slithered her way into Wayne Enterprises, solely to make exaggerated inspections on HR Operations, and to make your cooperate life a living hell, drenched with self-doubt and insecurity. It certainly traveled up a notch when she proactively invited you to take part in a Basic HR Crash Course, that was mainly designed to New Recruits. Simply because she assumed that you would find the Course ‘helpful’ to your own line of work. The fact she indirectly implied a trace of incompetence in you caused so much embarrassment.

“The hell is that bitch’s problem though?”

Allison kept inquiring, as she wiped off the milk from her lips, “Seriously…” she muttered, standing by the opened refrigerator in her pajamas.

“Yeah” you continued to nod, as you stuffed a spoonful of cereal into your mouth, “..and Lillian…being my senior since day 1, didn’t even treat me this way” you added, with a full mouth.

Already dressed for work, little did you expect to see Allison awake and engaged while you had your breakfast, “I look like a fucking joke…”you muttered, after finally gulping the food down.

“Hey!”

Allison cried, pointing her index finger at you, “Don’t you dare give up” she said with seriousness, standing before you, “You need to stand your ground and carry on with dignity…” she continued, her tone quite similar to a heroic speech, “Make Lillian proud she left you in charge…” she added, putting both hands on the table. Leaning forward, she took a closer look, “This will be good for you…” finally as her voice grew soft, she flashed a soft smile. You could not help but look at her affectionately, as you exhaled deeply.

“Talking to you makes me feel so much better…” you admitted. Pleased, Allison stood up straight.

“That’s why I’m your hype man, Sweetie!” she said, turning towards the window, “Watch out Gotham! The Bruiser is here to SLAY-”

“HEYYY!!-” your shushes exited along with your embarrassment. Your friend covered her mouth quickly.

“Sorry, Sweetie….” Allison whispered, taking the hands away, “But it just sounds so badass…” as her tone grew normal once more. You shot her a deranged look.

“Do I look like someone who deserves the name?” you inquired. “Well…” she said, folding her arms, “…the fact you punched that guy is a good enough reason…”

Shaking one’s head with a chuckle, you watched her head to the bedroom with a maniacal laughter. The sudden vibration of the table forced you to look down at your phone. The chuckling stopped, permitting your pulse to quicken with liberty. Rubbing your neck nervously, you proceeded to read the text from the only sender who was capable to send you through an emotional wild ride: Bruce Wayne.

Sorry, long night. Good Morning!

Pausing for a few seconds, you exhaled loudly as began to type:

No worries. Hope your day goes well, Mr. Wayne.

Being an appropriate response, you sent without hesitation. Long night?, could it possibly truly mean a hectic night of crime fighting and city saving in disguise? A strong urge suddenly arose to pull up the search browser on your phone, and type in the words: Batman. And what appeared first in the results certainly made your eyebrows rise with curiousity.

“Ali….” You yelled loud enough for her to hear, “You’ve heard of a website called… ‘Where’s the Bat’?

“EH?”

Her response was equally loud and echoing, “Oh yeah…” she added, whilst you opened the web page, “…Matty was talking about it sometime back…” she continued, “Some nerdy site about The Batman…”

“Damn!”

The word abruptly left your lips as your eyes widened. For you were treated to such a sight, “Ali…get this…” you said, proceeding to read the description of the page, “Welcome to ‘Where’s the Bat?’ Your Online Resource for all things Batman: Gotham’s Caped Crusader…” you squealed excitedly,  “Ha! It’s a freakin’ fan site! Oh! Oh!” you exclaimed as you continued to read out loud:

“… reliable sources from our very own admins and enthusiasts all over Gotham City…” with a whistle, you nodded, “These folks are not kidding around, huh?” you muttered, letting your finger slowly scroll down, “And they have posts on almost every appearance he made in the city…” you said out loud, yet it seemed that Allison was never interested. 

The Website backdrop was in black, but encompassing a very beautiful design concept. The immaculate detail was beyond believable. Detailed posts on possible weapons owned, vehicles, fighting styles and costume, Photos ranging from Low Quality to High, even blurry videos by camera phones, it was certainly a network of information. Your eyes widened when you saw the recent post title: 

Batman and The Bruiser?

“What the-?” Muttering to yourself, you clicked on the article.

“…also known as The Bruiser (Click Here for the Viral Clip) was spotted nearby when a group of muggers had reportedly attacked her. According to the anonymous source, Batman had arrived right on time. A clip of the incident may not be available, yet we did manage to find a small clip as he escaped the scene. And according to Gotham PD, the Caped Crusader had appeared once again to The Bruiser’s aid the night after. As much as we feel sorry for the bad luck The Bruiser attracts, we could only be nothing but envious of her opportunity to meet the Dark Knight twice. And some of us could not help but wonder: Could romance possibly be in bloom between the two?”

“What?” Nervous chuckles were all you let out as you whispered, “Hah! In your dreams, fanboys…” you uttered, closing the browser, “Batman would never go for a woman like me” you said, almost dropping the phone by its sudden vibration. For a reply was received.

You too. Stay out of trouble :)

“And you stay out of my head” you said to yourself, putting the phone back on the table. Covering your face, you could only groan with frustration. Ever since that evening at the hospital a mere week before, casual texts from Bruce Wayne began to appear on your phone, starting off on the very next day:

Couldn’t thank you for running that errand for Fox.

The errand, meaning the black box that Mr.Fox entrusted you with. A small yet long box which was quite light. The very box that granted you access to his penthouse and to the friendship with Alfred Pennyworth.

Just doing my job, Mr.Wayne.

You remember replying that day at office. It was not exactly necessary for him to thank you this way, yet his action was commendable. He did not hesitate to quickly respond:

Much appreciated.

Just when you thought it was the end, he greeted once again two days later. During an important meeting, for example:

Hi there! Is Ms.Foster enjoying the gift?

Once the meeting wrapped up, you made sure to respond :

Very much, from what I know. You’re making motherhood very easy for her.

You would be lying if you did not look forward to write him back. The manner your fingers tingled was quite evident. 

That’s a relief.

Clearly with his corresponding reply, he displayed quite an interest in conversing with you, by finding meager excuses to obtain your response. Yet, a part of you wondered what his actual intentions were. Be professional, a phrase that lingered in your head always. A warning, more like. As much as the desire to carry on the message thread was strong within, you did not reply back.

Two days passed, and surprisingly you were dying with curiousity. Could it be that his intention to communicate had finally gone? Or could it be that you were finally missing him? Forming a clever excuse to obtain his signature, you liaised with Jessica, only to find out Bruce Wayne was currently on a business trip in Singapore.

Intoxicated with impulsiveness, your thumbs grew stubborn as they formed a message on your phone:

Heard you’re in Singapore. How is it?

“Shit! Roaming Charges!”

You sighed, your palm slapped over your forehead. Putting the phone away to enjoy the view of the bus ride, you sincerely hoped he would never notice. But to your surprise, the phone vibrated instantly:

Loving the Food here.

Despite roaming charges, he was kind enough to reply. And that touched you very deeply. Then again, money was never an issue for a man of his stature. him. However, you were not Bruce Wayne. Still, a few extra dollars seemed nothing compared to the inner secretive joy you indulged in as you replied: 

Not surprised. The Bakkwa over there is to die for.

He did not reply. He did not do so for a day and two. You grew worried, if he was really knee deep in business, or literally knee deep in trouble. But the next morning, you were finally assured of his safe arrival back to Gotham, especially when you found a gift at the door. A Gift which came in the form of a beautiful red box full of Bakkwa, the Chinese sweet dried meat, one of your favorite treats. You did not miss the handwritten note inside:

You’re right. It IS to die for. - B.Wayne

Chuckling with happiness, you were only compelled to quickly text him a grateful reply:

The Bakkawa enthusiast sends her Thanks.

To which you finally received a reply this morning as you indulged on your cereal:

Sorry, long night. Good Morning!

Groaning in frustration seemed rightfully reasonable for you. Stressing out seemed rightfully reasonable as well. Who would not, when there was a storm that brewed inside of you. A storm of emotions that contained the sticky quality. The adhesiveness that was stubborn to the core. For if you look at the situation in it’s entirety, this was not your average instance of a man and woman forming a textual habit in order to know one another. You were an acting Head, informally socializing with the owner of Wayne Enterprises. Being in HR, you could already feel the weight of unprofessionalism heat on you. That guilt which already seemed to haunt you subtly. Thus, not responding further seemed logical, yet it certainly was a hard pill for you to swallow. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“You sure you don’t want anything? Coffee or Tea?”

You asked Officer John Blake, ushering him to his seat as you sat down. He shook his head.

“I’m good, Ma’am” he said with a smile. Smiling back, you were drenched with guilt. A week earlier, the police officer had requested to meet, yet with your unexpected work load, you reluctantly had to send him back the previous time. Forcing him to wait so long for a week was something you knew you would go to hell for. But John Blake did not judge, or as it seemed from his expression.

“Didn’t know you were running a tight ship here .” He said, looking back to witness the bustle in the main hall outside.

“Well, the Head’s on Maternity leave so…I’m stuck here, hehe…” You answered nervously, “Once again I’m so sorry Officer. You said it was something urgent?”

“It’s about the two attacks…” Blake said, capturing your attention. “Now I’m sure you’re probably wondering if those are simply coincidental or something more…”

“I honestly have been afraid to go down that rabbit hole, but yes I did wonder…” you replied. Looking sideways, he finally turned your way as his lowered his voice:

“I have reason to believe Erik Henderson may be connected to this…”

The image of the mocking man, and his bloody nose flashed before your very eyes. Given his anger, it could be a high possibility. Yet, you were in disbelief.

“What gave you the idea?” You inquired with curiousity. Blake kept his police his hat on his lap securely:

“The men who attacked you, the ones we arrested…” He said, to which you nodded in acknowledgment, “They were bailed out the very next day by-”

“-Henderson’s Legal Team?” You asked blankly, for you were still in disbelief. Blake nodded.

“I may be wrong” he said, “Bailing the people who attacked you, it could also just be a power move, maybe to scare you off…” he added, leaning forward, “So far we cannot be sure…” He continued, “But I think it’s best for you to keep an eye out-”

Your eyes suddenly darted towards the phone screen. For an email just appeared in your personal inbox with a title:

“Job Offer for General Manager”

Eyes widening, you were certainly not expecting that. Quiet for a few minutes, you found yourself staring at your own table, for you were confused beyond all measure with everything you just heard and saw.

“I’m sorry...” Blake began, shaking you from your thoughts, “ if I’m causing you any discomfort-”

“No…it’s alright” flipping the phone downward, you shook your head with a soft smile, “I just…all this was just so unexpected. Didn’t think there would be any possibility for anything like this, that’s all” you said, smiling even more, “I appreciate the information, Officer”

Truthfully, you were nothing but grateful to the man. Perhaps it was because he was the arresting officer who was in charge of that fateful night. Nevertheless, he was nothing but kind to you. Blake grinned widely.

“The Precinct still thanks The Bruiser for Common’s Coffee” He said, to which you were genuinely surprised.

“Oh! I’m glad-”

“BOSS!”

Greg’s cries forced both of you to look to the door. Distress never looked good on Greg. Giving a heavy sigh, he began:

“ I’m sorry to keep doing this but…” he said, “Clara’s gone off the rails!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As he made his way down the Lobby through the crowds, John Blake made his careful observations, fascinated by all that he glanced upon in the Wayne Tower. “Officer Blake!” Stopping in his tracks, John turned upon hearing a familiar voice. He smiled.

“Mr.Wayne…” He addressed,  “Didn’t expect to see you here” Smartly dressed in a pinstriped three piece suit, Bruce Wayne stood before the much younger man with a reciprocative smile.

“Well,” he began “You can’t just play hard….so…” Nodding in acknowledgment, Blake held on to his hat. With the silence between them growing longer, John began to speak:

“I’m actually just coming down after meeting one of your Senior Managers” He said, which caught Wayne’s attention.

“Who is…?”

When Blake provided him with the name, Bruce nodded nonchalantly. “Is this anything to do with the Henderson case?” He asked, suddenly growing serious. Surprised by his knowledge, the officer nodded.

“Yes….” Blake added. But then again, there was nothing to be surprised of. Given Wayne was in the hotel when it all happened. 

“How did she take it?” “Surprisingly pretty well” Blake said, as he began to walk alongside Wayne ,“But she seems to have her hands full today, doesn’t look too good” he sighed, involuntarily empathizing with her. And given Wayne’s subtle yet concerned expression, Blake realized he was not alone there. Finally reaching the exit, the officer was compelled to do the unexpected:

“Since you were a witness to the incident,..” he began, making Wayne look at him, “ I think it’s probably best that you also know…”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You have always put your trust in Lillian Foster. That trust had lasted throughout your time in Wayne Enterprises without forsaking you for a mere second. Thus, you were certain she did the needful in approving the Revised Policies and Regulations before taking her leave. For you had personally witnessed it.

However, when a company email from Clara Bennett to Lucius Fox claimed HR was seemingly incapable of carrying out their operations under the current leadership, you were not surprised to find your anger making an appearance.

And the embarrassment you had to face when she even went so far as to copy you and your managers in to that said email. Professional was nowhere near this behavior. For this was simply child’s play. The panic all your department staff went through was understandable. Especially when they worked only to their very best.

“You wanted to me see me?”

Clara asked, as she entered your office. Raising your head up, you threw a cold expression her way: “Close the door please” Your tone was stern. Looking around, Clara furrowed her eyebrows. “But aren’t you supposed to-” “I’ll take my chances, Ms. Bennett” You interrupted her, lips forming a tight smile. With an uncertain nod, she closed the door shut, before taking a few steps towards you. Slowly getting up from your desk, you quickly walked over to her. It was now or never. “We saw that little email that you sent to Mr. Fox.” You stated, to which she did not flinch. Scoffing, your hands rested on your hips, “I know how things work: When people mess up, even after many warnings, they get complained about to the superiors…” you said in a matter-of-fact tone, “But…” you paused, as you were on a dire attempt not to explode, “how can you expect us...” Surprisingly you felt emotion trickling in, “...to take this lying down when you DIDN'T PERFORM EITHER OF THOSE ACTIONS?” With your voice surprisingly getting louder than expected, Clara found herself folding her arms in defense: “Look, I get it...” She said, her smile suddenly faded,  “You don’t like me snooping around” You scoffed in disbelief, “Ms.Bennett, this is not you snooping around. This is you desperately finding excuses to make US LOOK BAD” you stated loudly, “I mean…What exactly on the policies and regulations are you complaining about?” You inquired. And to your surprise, Clara grew quiet before she finally answered:

“I just...” she paused, as if she was seeking excuses,  “...don’t understand why the Policies couldn’t be circulated if they were revised” Your jaw dropped in disbelief, “What are you talking about??They were already revised and circulated” you answered with certainty, appalled by the childish games that were being played. “Well…” pausing again, “I don’t see them in the Public Folder”she said stubbornly, to which you sighed, rubbing your temples, “ And according to my sources, It’s Paula Yang’s  responsibility, am I right?” Though authority was rife in her tone, you could sense the menace that lingered invisibly.

“Ms. Bennett...” you gritted through your teeth, taking your hand away, “Paula is on bed rest after breaking HER LEG...from a biking accident last weekend” you burst out, “...if you looked up on our employees with the SAME ENTHUSIASM you did on our work, then you would probably know that” you spat, fuming with anger,  “But If you expect me to deprive her of her paid leave, JUST SO she could just limp over here to UPLOAD SOME POLICIES to a server? then you’re sorely mistaken! ” You cried out, panting.

Subtly shocked at your response, Clara stood silently. Given her reaction, it was quite evident something disastrous would soon follow. Your threw your hands up in defense.

“Fine” you said, “If you prefer to pin this error on me, please do. But… not the department” you said, as your voice grew soft , “...please” you breathed. Closing her eyes for a few seconds, Clara opened them once again, shooting you a stern glance.

“Do you know…what I was told about you before I came here?” She posed a rhetorical question, to which you rightfully did not answer to, “An unprofessional thug, with anger issues.” She said.

In all your years of working at Wayne Enterprises, this was the far from what you had ever heard from anyone. The silence ruled over the atmosphere for a few more seconds.

“So I came in with a mission...” Clara went on, “...to tame you. Or to rile you up enough to expose who you really were” she said harshly. Folding your own arms in defense, you took a deep breath:

“Well,” you began, “I believe I was angry For the right reasons. So no regrets here” you answered with confidence. Whatever consequence that may follow, you were not aware of, for your justified rage may possibly have outdone yourself this time. You only wished Lillian would forgive you.

“But…” Clara paused, “...from the way you stood up for your employees and your department…,” she said, as her expression softened, “ I guess… I was badly misinformed.” Confusion took over you for the next few seconds, as she looked straight into your eyes before taking in a deep breath:

“I’m sorry!” Your eyes widened, “P-Pardon?” Sighing, Clara reluctantly rubbed the sides of her thighs: “I’m sorry…If I insulted you in any way” she said shyly in a low tone, “Honestly speaking, no matter how much I tried to deny it, everything seems to be running smoothly” She added. 

Relief quickly washed over you. Leaving you questioning reality all the sudden. “ I would gladly leave you all alone but..,” Clara smiled, “I’ve been contracted here for a while. So, I hope we can all cooperate together till I leave. Maybe a fresh start?”

Extending her hand to you, she presented a genuine smile. A smile possibly carrying hope to gain your trust. Sincerely impressed by her bravery, you smiled back: “Sure, Apology accepted” You said, shaking her hand, “I really appreciate it, Ms.Bennett”

“Clara, Please.” She insisted, “Ms.Bennett just pisses me off even more”

Chuckling together, you nodded, “Okay, Gotcha”

The phone rang loud to your surprise. Giving her a friendly wave, you quickly moved to your desk in a cheerful manner, growing even more cheerful upon seeing the extension on the phone screen.

“Mr. Fox!” You answered, as you sat down, “How can I help you?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Since the fateful day she first laid eyes on him in his glorious return to Wayne Enterprises until now, Jessica would certainly never not blush whenever Bruce Wayne politely greeted her. Upon seeing her red face, he stepped into Lucius Fox’s office, walking over to find the CEO on the phone wearing a smile on his face.

“Don’t worry about it.” Fox said over the phone, “So you’ll come? Perfect…” He smiled, nodding at Wayne as he finally appeared in his eye line, “Hope to see you then” He added, hanging up the phone.

“I have to admit…” Fox began, ushering Bruce to sit, “… seeing you here every day at Wayne Tower is a happy surprise” He said. Bruce smiled.

“Everything alright?” He asked the CEO, “The Audits aren’t happening till another month or so..”

“No…” Fox shook his head, surprisingly impressed, “ I was actually wondering if you would…like to join me in the Company Dinner, this Thursday night. It’s a little gathering I normally do with the Heads of Departments...” he continued, glancing upon Wayne’s confused expression, “...to form a closer bond and… give them morale” He said, tilting his head. As much as the sentiment was kind, Wayne sighed with exhaustion.

“Mr.Fox, you know very well how I rather be stuck in the basement than go to that…” he said, slowly getting up, “I’m afraid I’ll have to pass”. Offering a polite smile, he turned around to make his leave. When opportunities to make a choice were given, he would certainly rather choose to not wear that mask in public. It tired him.

“She’s coming too”

Bruce froze, the moment Fox’s words reached his ears. Turning to him, he raised his eyebrows.

“She?” He began, “You mean…she?” He asked, highly emphasizing on the said pronoun, for both of them knew the person being discussed.

“Yes” Fox said, “Just got off the phone with her as you came in” he added, “I just thought you would like to know” with nonchalance, he casually put on his glasses.

Silently nodding, Bruce turned back to resume walking. Only except he halted once again, just to spin back around smoothly.

“Thursday…what time?” He inquired with genuine curiousity.

Being a man of his age, Lucius Fox could not help but smile at his response.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Being the workaholic, Lunch Breaks was nothing short of special for you. The moment the last bite of your delicious meal reached your lips, it was off to work once again, giving you ample time to finish your tasks. But this Wednesday, you cast that usual habit away, taking the luxury you rarely took during this entire decade.

Just to decide on a dress.

With your lunch on the desk and Allison on speakerphone, your eyes moved back and forth from two beautiful dresses on the website. With Mr. Fox casually inviting you to the Company Dinner, all you longed to provide was a good impression. Most women in your position would feel greatly pressured and stick to a salad just to fit into the dress. However, you were far too greedy to ignore the great Spaghetti Bolognese that was on the table before you.

“Sweetie, You know I love you, So why won’t you fucking listen to me?”

Allison’s echoed out loud, as you stared at the screen with concern. “Cause it’s a crazy idea, that’s why ” you said, stuffing pasta into your mouth, “Better go with the black one…” you said with a full mouth, pointing at the long sleeved black dress, “It’s tame, and I can just blend in with crowd” squinting, you attempted at imagining yourself in the outfit.

“Boo! BORING”

Allison’s response was quite obvious.

“Hey!” Clara’s whisper reached your ears, urging you to find her standing by the door with a smile. Ever since the intervention, the atmosphere underwent a surprising change, and all was well with the both of you. It was quite unbelievable how cooperative she had become. “I’m sorry but...could I borrow a twenty?” She asked politely in a whisper, all in order not to intrude your call. “Sure…” You whispered back, reaching into your bag to grab your purse, “Hah! Lucky you, that’s all I have” You grinned, fishing out the only dollar note as she headed over to take it from your hand.

“Hey!  Hey! Sweetie, Did I lose you?”

Allison’s voice brought you back to the phone call. “No! No! You didn’t…Sorry! Argh!” Groaning in frustration, you looked back at the computer screen, “I don’t know what to do, Ali…” You muttered.

“What is it?” With her still standing there, Clara finally asked out loud. She genuinely looked concerned. Embarrassed, you pointed at the screen.

“No it’s just…” you paused, “I have to go to this Cooperate Dinner thingy tomorrow, and I don’t know what to get…” you added, “…the Black or the White”.

Silent for a few seconds, you stared at Clara as she rubbed her chin with seriousness, while making a careful observation at the screen. Finally, her fingers snapped loudly.

“The White One…” Confidence oozed out of her voice as she replied. Looking back at the dress, you took a deep breath. V neck on the front along with a low cut in the back, the pure white silk evening gown certainly possessed the potential to be a show stopper.

“I mean…Why be afraid to stand out?”

Clara’s words, they rang in your ears so loudly. Pointing at the dress, she continued: 

“Wear this, and No one will be able to take their eyes off you” The manner in which she uttered, you were suddenly filled with enough power to head out to the battlefield. Her words, they were simply invisible embellishments to the dress, making it the armor and the secret weapon. It simply became powerful. And finally, you were convinced on which dress to finally purchase. Lips forming into a warm smile, you thanked her inaudibly.

“YAY!” Allison cried out on the line, “Whoever just said that, I agree with you” Chucking, Clara cleared her throat and looked at your mobile phone.

“Hey there…It’s Clara by the way…” she said to Allison. You suppressed a huge grin as you imagined Allison’s surprise upon hearing that.

“Oh…YOU’RE Clara?…” she said, pausing, “Well I like how you think, Clara” she said happily afterwards. Relieved by the sight of both your best friend and your new friend being acquainted, your eyes moved back to the beautiful dress. 

“Wear this, and No one will be able to take their eyes off you”

Clara may be right. But you were a simple woman, and your wishes were just as simple. Little did anyone know how your heart simply longed for just one person to indulge your presence for the entire evening. But the possibility of that, was just your wishful thinking. You could only hope for the evening be as successful as imagined. As long as it had the perfect touch of jazz piano playing in the background.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

With notes played with the fluidity of a free flowing stream, the jazz piano music was certainly better tonight than it was that Friday evening weeks ago. With tonight, you only hoped to replace the horrid memory of violence that linked the genre of music with an evening more refined. For tonight, you were no violator, nor a drunkard. You were merely a lady in a beautiful, silk dress.

Walking through the Lobby in your silver open toe heels, you came into the realization of how the dress simply became you. Contrary to your fears, it embraced your curves effortlessly, while the material was kind to you, caressing and cooling your skin.The dress itself contained a sense of assurance you would most likely receive from a trusted friend, some good Samaritan, kindly whispering positive affirmations. Fashioning the outfit with your Mikimoto pearls, you felt you were prepared enough.

You were punctual, fortunately. Lillian would have been proud. When you arrived at the reserved table, the other Heads were just about to take their seats. Cold, curt nods were passed on to you the moment they caught sight of you. Lucius Fox, however was humble enough to smile widely upon seeing you.

“I appreciate you coming in tonight…” He stated, as he politely ushered you to your seat, which granted you access between him and Head of Legal, Ted’s Boss, “This is usually Lillian’s gig” he said.

“Yes I heard,” you agreed while sitting down together, “And she does it flawlessly”

“I think you’ll be able to hold off your own” Fox assured, quite impressed by your appearance tonight. You smiled.

“Thank you, Mr. Fox” you nodded, looking at him, until he suddenly rose from his own chair. 

“Ah! The man of the hour”

He said as  he looked ahead, “…so glad you could come, Mr.Wayne” 

The mere mention of that man’s name made you turn forward in a flash. Bruce Wayne was simply Suave incarnate. He certainly brought forth great depth to his presence everywhere he set foot on. You swore the airways inside began to dry out as your breath was taken away in secret. However, that breath was quickly stomped and discarded recklessly when you realized he was no alone. With a beautiful woman on his arm, he arrived at the table.

When that strong, sour feeling came over you, you were mature enough to admit it was simple jealousy. Yet then again, the playboy lifestyle certainly was demanding. The flashing smile Bruce wore slightly disappeared , when his eyes met yours from the corner of the table. With your sour jealousy stewing you, it was a sheer relief that he took his seat on the other far corner.

“Really Mr .Wayne, This is such a pleasant surprise” Mr. Kline, Head of Accounting mentioned with joy.

“Well, Mr. Fox is getting better with power of persuasion, I suppose ” Wayne said, looking at Lucius, “So...” rubbing his hands together, he smiled, “What are we all having? My treat...” 

To everyone’s delight, the night certainly started off on a positive note. According to the trusted word of Lucius Fox, Sushi was the prime choice of food on every single dinner . It was the shared interest with all the Heads by coincidence. Thus, becoming a tradition.

Fortunately for you, you knew your way with Japanese cuisine enough to save your face. Wine and Sake were in abundance in the table, leaving most of the Heads and Wayne’s date quite excited with intoxication. It was certainly a surprise for you, to see the Heads break out into wide smiles and childish attitudes once the alcohol entered their systems. They did not speak much with you, which you were fine with. You were the new one there , after all. But with Fox next to you, you felt a fatherly figure watched over you. You listened to him with earnest, which was not so difficult with his charismatic voice.

You also longed for a distraction. A strong distraction from Bruce Wayne’s eyes secretly claiming ownership over you the entire time. Could he be watching Fox? Or you? You honestly did not know. As much as your inner heart jumped for Joy by the thought of him watching you, confusion ruled supreme.

The turn of the conversation topic from Work to Sailing suddenly tempted the Heads call Mr Fox over to the other side, forcing him and Bruce to change seats instead. His date did not even notice, as she was busy engrossed in her phone. Though you were at your element, calmly eating your maki rolls in silence, your heart beat increased in an instant when his presence nearby was confirmed. His aura gently murmured a greeting of affection, urging you to look up from your plate. Covering your mouth, you politely swallowed the food. With the others engaged in their own little world, it seemed that you and Bruce were suddenly left to yourselves.

“Thank you again for the Bakkwa”

You began, clearing your throat “…it was heavenly” you said, smiling whilst flashing your full red lips. Smiling back warmly, he leaned forward to the table.

“I don’t wanna brag but...” he paused, “I found that store all by myself” He said softly, as it was a dramatic secret. Eyes widened, you played along: “Oh! I find that hard to believe” You said, chuckling.

“Ask me the address, I dare you” He said blankly, making you chuckle harder. Nodding, you generously accepted his kindness. Be it text or face to face, talking to Bruce Wayne symbolized pure joy to you.

“Well, well, well…”

An eerie voice, a voice that haunted your intoxicated memories, and a voice that caused the hairs of the back of your neck to stand. It was a voice you knew well. So bloody well.

“Isn’t this a surprise?”

The entire table looked over to find Erik Henderson. With a gracefully beautiful and age appropriate woman standing beside him, Henderson was as smug as he could be. “Mr. Henderson...” Fox said. Henderson looked right at him. “Lucius...” He uttered, without casting a single glance at Bruce Wayne. The sight of him brought a sense of fear to you. According to Officer Blake, he could very much be responsible for all the attacks you were victim to during the past few weeks. The possibility was high. Thus, the intimidation was justified. Funny how the intoxicated group of Heads managed to maintain their frozen states for a few seconds. As if their buzz was killed right off.

“Well,..” Henderson began, maintain his unimpressed expression,  “I wish you all have a pleasant evening” He stressed , slowly turning to leave. “And You!” A gasp left you the moment he spun back to point his index finger at you with such ferocity and anger. With bated breath, you wondered if time froze. Until he suddenly smiled at you. “You behave now...” He said mockingly, chuckling with power as he finally left the table. With the awkward silence taking control, embarrassment injected itself into you. The way he spoke to you was certainly disrespectful. So much so, your right hand quickly clenched into a tight fist , forcing you to revisit the trauma even now by his cruel words. All your anger, centralized into this fist.

But that anger suddenly vanished into thin air, the moment you felt Bruce’s palm rest over your fist. A literal warmth spread across every cell on your being, as his palm comforted you, and empathized with you more than ever. A few seconds of that sent you to a level of peace you never visited. The fact that a man such as he was with his inner conflicts could still heal you unexpectedly, it was magic to you. Finally looking at him, you nodded with gratefulness, leading him to take his away politely.

With silence still in charge, you were guilty of your past actions ruining tonight’s occasion as well. “Maybe it’s the alcohol but...” Kline slowly began, “...that Henderson’s face always reminds me of an…animal…” he remarked, breaking the ice, “l can’t place which one exactly...” He struggled, snapping his fingers away to remember. “A Bat?” Another Head inquired. “YES!” Kline yelled out loud, causing others to finally laugh and feel the comfort take center stage once more. Letting out a sigh, you were relieved to let them converse and make merry. You were occupied enough, recovering from Bruce’s sudden touch. “...and speaking of Bats...” Kline slurred out, “That Batman fella...” “-He comes up every time…” Fox yelled towards your direction with a sigh, while the others clapped in glee. Being so popular, it was no surprise that many consider Batman to be a celebrity of his own right. “-wonder if he ever has any off days?” Kline sniggered, red in the face with sake. “Ha! Like paid leave, you mean?” “And don’t forget insurance! Boy! that man needs a big one” “Hahaha!” “Mr.Wayne! Mr. Wayne!” Kline yelled at Bruce, “Any idea about him from the grapevine ?” He inquired. “What?” Bruce asked, “…that Looney!?!” He added with an amused smile, “Eh! Not interested” he replied with an unimpressed tone. “Why?” It seemed that everyone was curious. Even you were. “Because...” Bruce paused, “Well…he’s a Looney! That’s all….” he laughed, shaking his hand in the air with dismissal. His carefree laughter infected the others, except you. As you were too occupied observing him, you could not even focus. He may have not worn the cowl, but he was certainly wearing his mask. Noticing your stare, Bruce turned to find your face filled with a soft smile.

“You really don’t mean that about the guy, right?” You murmured softly. And all the sudden, that carefree expression of his slowly melted away to reveal his true form, unmasked. “No” Calm and collected, he shook his head with a gentle smile. A sudden urge to embrace him was birthed in you for some reason, it was certainly out of your control. “Hey! Lillian’s Backup!” You jumped upon hearing Kline call you out loudly. With all eyes on landing towards your direction, you quickly sat up straight, “What’s your take on him? The Batman?” Kline inquired informally. “Oh!” Pleasantly surprised, you were speechless for a few seconds. What were you to say really? “I -I rather not say...” you admitted, as you found yourself chuckling shyly. “Eh!” Kline muttered, seemingly unamused, “She’s no fun”he claimed,  “…not like Lillian now, is she?” The others hummed together in agreement. They may have gotten lost in their own world of conversation once again. Yet, the words Kline blurted affected you deeply. “Well….” You sighed, “Nothing I haven’t heard before”   “What is…?” Bruce’s inquiry made you look at him. Placing both your elbows on the table, you took a deep breath as you kept a brave, fixed gaze at him:

“You’re.. no… fun”

You said, in a low yet strong tone as you emphasized on every word with pain, “…that one”

“I find that hard to believe” Bruce said. He did not flinch. Instead, he accepted your stare and held on to it firmly. Even with the golden lights you were still able to make out the beautiful hazel green eyes of his up close. His gaze, it was as powerful as anything physical. As if his eyes could caress the back of your neck, brushing the loose hair from it, leaving nothing but shivers on you.

Finally breaking free from it, you sat back with a chuckle.

“Well” you began, “…you obviously haven’t met my ex”

You watched his eyebrows furrow the moment those words exited you. Taking a huge sip of wine, you pressed your lips together.

“He said I fall too fast....” you began, “or care too much...or something”

Revisiting that dark period in your life was akin to walking a thousand miles backwards, just to get your heart pricked by sharp, rusted nails. The mere image of it forced you to gulp more wine.  

“Well, Where is he now?”

Bruce asked softly. Taking a third sip, you looked back at him:

“You mean after he cheated on me?” You asked, chuckling sadly, “…He flew off somewhere…with his new girlfriend” you said, sighing “Apparently I was too predictable and doesn’t play hard to get”

“Then…” Bruce began, “…what about you throwing punches at Henderson?”

“That?” You widened your eyes, “Oh that’s just the whiskey”

Laughter ensued, breaking the tension between the two once again. Truthfully, you felt much at ease right then.

“I bet you don’t have that problem, playing the field and all” You said, holding on to your wine glass. Bruce smiled.

“Ah! Getting too attached doesn’t help anyone, I guess” he answered. And for some reason, you could empathize. Now more than ever.

“True...” you agreed, looking at him. However, that warmth you carried for him was also enlarged, and suddenly emotion overpowered logic.

“I know this is the corniest you’ve heard always….” you paused, “…but when the right person comes along...it’s so worth it” you continued, taking a deep, shaky breath, “…even if your heart gets broken into millions...billions of pieces”

Your eyes locked onto his with every word you uttered, and to your surprise, he did not look away. For a moment, his gaze on you translated into deep belief. For a Moment, his gaze dismissed every other occupant in the restaurant,  except you. For a moment his silence proved that anything was possible.

Until you realized, never was life that easy.

“But like I said…” You added, blinking away the heavy stare, “... it’s not your problem” You said, fiddling with your clutch purse mindlessly.   “Actually I-” “Whoops!” You sniggered when the clutch purse dropped out of your hand. Laughing together, you both found yourselves bending down to search for it.

“Let Me get that-” Bruce volunteered, as he spotted the purse, grabbing it for you.

“Thank you” You murmured shyly, reaching out your hand to take it.

The mere act of a clutch purse being transferred from one hand to another never felt this intense. A circus act commenced inside your stomach all the sudden. The manner you found yourself blushing, certainly proved his effect as a whole. The warmth of his palm earlier, it brought protection and comfort in the time of danger. However, the slightest brush of his fingers just now, it birthed confetti of butterflies, causing the internal circus to go berserk.

As he looked you up and down, you prayed he did not notice the red on your cheeks. For this man had such power over you, it was sheer chaos. But a beautifully, addictive one.

“Your Dress...” he breathed, making your own breath shake, “You look very-” “Bruce!” A seductive voice emerged out of the blue, as you realized it was his date walking over to his side. Being one of Gotham’s most well known supermodels, she exuded beauty with her tall and thin frame and brunette locks flowing down her shoulders. Wrapping her goddess-like arms around his neck, she whispered a few words to him before heading over to the restroom area. Compared to her, you felt like a little cinder block. “She’s beautiful...” you muttered hoarsely, looking down at your wine. You heard him sigh uncomfortably. “Listen...” Bruce began, causing your heart to long for hope, “I-” “Would you like anything else, Sirs?” The emotional roller coaster unexpectedly finished its ride when an over enthusiastic waiter’s loud voice caused everyone in the table to look up. “No, Thank you...” Fox said, slowly getting up, “Actually, I think might head home now” “And I will join you” You said, standing up in a flash, “Ladies, Gentleman...” you nodded to the Heads, “...Mr. Wayne” Giving him a slight nod, you turned to follow Lucius Fox. You dared not turn back to see his face. That would just show weakness. Just walk away, it was the right thing to do. The longer you will linger, the stronger your attachment will be. The stronger your need to love him will be. And what would be the use of strengthening that existing love, when the odds were always in the way?

Seduced by the women with the highest standards of beauty and power, you obviously must seem like nothing for a man such as he. You were simply charity, the employee in need. Perhaps your ex was right, You really were no fun.

Besides, being jealous was never your right, not especially when you did not even pour your heart out. And when you would not even consider doing so, being tied to morals, ethics and rules?

And if he even had not shown you his own heart, what gave you the right to be angry with anyone, except yourself?

You asked yourself, why were you wasting your time?

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Allison’s eyes grew wide with excitement the moment you arrived home.

Clutching onto her bowl of popcorn, she watched you close the door and lean against it to look back at her. Though her hair was in a messy bun, she still managed to pull off ‘homely cool’.

“So...” she began softly, “How did it go?” Silent, You took a deep breath, not knowing where to begin. “Well-” “-Did you make Wayne cream his pants?” Allison cut you off with glee, seemingly over excited. Jaw dropped, your face contorted with disgust. “Ali! …ewww” You exclaimed, seeing her perverted expression and suggestive eyebrows. Truthfully the thought of it brought some laughter soon after. You felt calmer. “Well, did he?” Allison was persistent. Pushing yourself from the door, you began to take off your shoes, “Well…” You paused, “I think he liked what he saw” you said smiling shyly. “Yeah?” Her excitement still intact, as you sat next to her.

“I think so…” you said, reminiscing those precious moments his blessed eyes watched only you, “…but…” you paused, “it doesn’t matter…”, Sighing, you shook your head frantically, “…cause he was with a Supermodel tonight so...” “Supermodel? Sweetie, I’m sorry” laying her head on your shoulder, Allison sighed in response. Patting her on the lap, you got up. Just like that, the little giddy excitement between two women suddenly crashed and burned upon knowing they were hopeless going against a supermodel.

“Hey! by the way…” Allison began, “…did you give money for Mrs. Hernandez’s going away party?”

You froze.

“Shit!” You cried out, “ I forgot!”

Mrs. Hernandez was one of the lovely tenants in the apartment building who will be moving out this week to go live with her son. All tenants were supposed to pool in for the going away party, today being the deadline. Opening your purse with haste, you groaned. “Damn it! I don’t have any change...” Of course you did not. Not when you gave away your last note to Clara yesterday. With the current use of cards and e-payment, you rarely used cash these days.

“Me neither, Sweetie” Allison replied, mindlessly staring at the television. You sighed. Transferring the money will not do as it wont be convenient for the others. And being a bad tenant was the last thing on your mind.

“Screw it!” You said, “I’ll just go get some now”   Running to your room, you proceeded to change.

“Cool…” Allison uttered quietly, until she remembered, “By the way, can you also get milk?”Allison yelled to your room,  “WE’RE OUT ALREADY!!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

If wearing an elegant dress brought out the glamorous woman in you, then leggings and an oversized black hoodie brought out the homebody. With the hood over your head, you dug your hands in the deep pockets whilst standing at the line for the ATM. What was taking so long?

Almost 11pm, yet the neighborhood was bustling more than usual. In fact, it fascinated you. Younger folk in higher numbers lingered hanging about by the Bodega. You wondered if a party was taking place somewhere nearby, as most of them wore clothes with a similar vibe. Some danced to the loud music that played, some drank sitting on the pavement, while some lined up in front of you in the ATM line. Was it a party? Or a flashmob? Or were you suddenly intruding the filming of a music video? It simply seemed so unrealistic. Could it be the sake and wine were forcing you to imagine all this?

Then moment your phone started to ring, you knew you were not imagining. Not when the phone vibrated in your hand, not when the name of the caller caused you to breath deeply.

“Mr.Wayne?”

His breath over the phone sent shivers down your spine so subtly. Attraction was indeed a strange phenomenon.

“Hey! Did you go home okay?” 

He asked. Nodding, you looked around.

“Of course.” You replied, “Mr. Fox was kind enough to drop me straight home”

“Good. Good,” As he muttered in a rush, you heard him exhale, “ Listen, can we talk? ”

Nervousness took you over with a sudden burn in your face. What must he wish to say? Was he attempting to confirm what you already dread about? Was he fully acknowledging your desires to be futile and hopeless? You kept quiet as he continued:

“About tonight…I really-” he paused, “Where are you?” The loud cheers of some of the younger folk interrupted the conversation. Amongst the crowd, a lone figure walked over to the middle of the street.

“I’m at the Bodega nearby my place” you replied, trying to be nonchalant with him. However, somehow that lone figure standing managed to capture your attention, "Huh! Strange...”

“What is it?”

Your eyebrows furrowed the moment the figure turned to face your direction. Familiarity was quite strong in him. “There’s this guy here…” you said, “… who looks just like-”

You froze, “Oh no!” You breathed.

The moment the figure effortlessly pulled out a portable machine gun from his oversized long coat, it clearly dawned on you on who he really was:

“Mr. Slender?” You muttered to yourself.

Pointing the weapon upwards, loud and rapid shots were fired, causing panic amongst the public. The shock forced your hands to lose control, almost dropping your phone to the ground.

“Hello? Hello?”

You heard Bruce loud and clear, yet you were not in the right state of mind to respond. The chaos, certainly forced your heart to beat right out of your chest. The beating, increased without any prior announcement shocked you, as if the live, blood pumping organ might literally fall out of your flesh vessel.

“EVERYBODY ON THE GROUND, NOW!”

Mr.Slender bellowed, finally revealing his masculine and controlled voice. The public, including those inside the Bodega made their way to the ground. With Mr. Slender’s reinforcements inside the building, it was made sure no one were to reach out for law enforcement any time soon. Just when it seemed all had complied to his command, one obstinate young man rose up quickly.

“Hey man!” The man cried out, walking over to him, “Be cool…Be-”

“I SAID ON THE GROUND!”

Blood curdling screams erupted from the crowd when Mr.Slender brutally fired at the man, sending him flying back, falling on to the ground like a bloody piece of meat. Given the continuous reactions from the people nearby, he was certainly dead. Emptiness and fear swallowed you whole upon witnessing this.

“DON’T EVEN THINK OF BEING STUBBORN!! ”

Mr.Slender yelled out, brandishing his gun around, “MY DEMANDS ARE SIMPLE...”

He continued, “I’M LOOKING FOR ONE PARTICULAR PERSON…” he said, “AND I WILL NOT LEAVE…UNTIL THAT PERSON STEPS FORWARD!!”

Scenes such as these, they were never expected but only imagined in modes of fiction. Be it novels or films. However, when you truly got to taste it in the rusty reality, only then did you realize the gravity of its horror. And only then at that fateful moment, did you genuinely fear for your precious life.

Especially when the person he was looking for, was you.

——————————————————

Chapter 6 HERE

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Livestream~ (corpse_husband x reader)

Alright, I’ve skipped ahead a few prompts because I’ve been just too excited to write out this idea and I was falling behind... so I will be going back, but I’ve skipped to my day 9 prompt. Slight (SLIGHT) exhibition. To reiterate the title, this is a oneshot about you and Corpse. I want to just say that this Corpse is him as a character and not him as a person. Think of a “fanon” version of some sorts. I know that the real Corpse is a very private person (obviously) and I would hate for him to be uncomfortable if he were to ever find this. I am really just writing this for comfort and the enjoyment of others. So, without further ado, enjoy!

Word Count: 5,958

Day 9 - Exhibition (Implied)

“Yo! YO! It’s Corpse! It’s fucking Corpse, holy shit-“

“What? Literally how?”

“I- fucking- I saw you legit go into electrical with pewds, leave, for me to then go up and find his body right next to the vent.”

“He was doing the upload task, I think, cuz’ I left him there when he was alive. You definitely self-reported.”

“Toast, you gotta believe me, it’s fucking Corpse.”

The arguments while playing this game were some of the most frustrating and yet exciting conversations you’d had in ages. Especially when it came down to the final two. That was the jackpot.

“Ah… nah, Fable, you’ve been super sus this entire round. There’s no way you did card swipe that quickly-“

“WHAT?!”

The two dings from your headset indicated that the remaining players had voted which only left you. Since Toast didn’t believe you, Corpse had this round in the bag. God. Damnit.

“Fucking- Fine. Thank god for your detective skills, Toast,” You grumbled bitterly, pouting on camera as you voted for the black avatar. Corpse’s avatar.

“You’re just mad that I figured you out..” The streamer teased, you rolling your eyes in response to his unmatched “knowledge.”

“Yeah, yeah, totally… Corpse is just too fucking good at this game, I swear to god,” You continued, definitely a little irritated that the match turned on you so fast.

It didn’t help when all you could do was helplessly watch from the other side of the screen as your purple avatar launched out into space. Oh well, it was over.

“Heh… I’m just glad you admit it,” The deep voice filled your headphones making you roll your eyes.

The screen suddenly darkened, a red gleam appearing as two characters stood next to one another. Spedicey and, who would’ve guessed, Corpse. Shocking.

“What?!” Toast exclaims.

“I can’t BELIEVE you didn’t think it was him!” Lily speaks up.

“You’re a fuckin’ idiot, Toast,” Felix almost groans, sounding slightly annoyed.

“Seriously…” You comment, smirking slightly at the groan of confusion from the man in question.

“What? Fable, you were so sus that entire round!” Toast stressed, your headphones filling with laughter as you clicked to play again.

“What do you mean?! I Iegit just scanned my card and you’re trying to call me on it! For NO good reason!” You retorted, wanting to facepalm so hard.

“I didn’t think you could do it that fast!” He yelled back, “I thought you were faking it, there was no way!”

“The only one who really struggles with card swipe here is Corpse,“ Jack cut in, you erupting in laughter at his words.

“What?- Uh- Come on, don’t do me like that…” He essentially growled into the mic, your arms erupting with goosebumps at the sound of him once again.

“That’s not true either! Jack, you know how hard card swipe is!” Valkarae stood up for the deep spoken imposter, “…but you guys both won anyway. So, whatever…”

You all simply laughed along with one another at that, the frustration fading as you mentally prepared yourself for another round of this thought-provoking game. Or… so you thought.

“Hey, can we actually hold off for a second? I need to use the bathroom-“ Lily asked, you smiling at how gentle her voice always was.

A stark contrast to the one that followed.

“Yeah, same here. Gamer bladder,” Corpse followed.

You shook your head at the later comment, clearing your throat as before leaning in towards your mic, “So, 5 minute break then?”

“Yeah.”

“Sounds good!”

“Sure, I’ll just be here.”

Felix, Rae, and Jack responded.

“…Sykunno?” You asked, having not heard his voice in awhile.

“He left to use the bathroom after he finished his tasks in the last round, texted me saying something about getting a snack,” Toast replied for him, you nodding to no one in particular but your chat.

“Got it,” You pressed the mute button for discord and turned to your face cam, “Guess I’ll run to the restroom as well, stay tuned!”

You clicked a few things to allow an ad to run across your stream, labeling it for around four minutes before reaching for your headphones. You placed them on your desk and sighed, leaning back in your chair.

You heard the door in the hallway open, smiling gently to yourself before standing from the chair. You turned towards your own closed door, taking the appropriate amount of steps to open it before peaking around the doorway.

“Hm…” You walked out slightly, turning towards the closed bathroom door and smirking before creeping out of your room and over to his.

Corpse’s room. Your boyfriend.

You and Corpse had started seeing each other a month or two into quarantine during the pandemic. Having known each other a year or two from both of your professions bringing you together under the circumstances, it seemed appropriate.

He was a real-life horror story teller, taking people’s information by email and anonymously telling their tales. You? You told mythologies of all kinds through your own renditions of the stories with art. You also managed to make the stories more light hearted and funny with a few jokes now and then, and people seemed to appreciate the humor you found in some of the topics.

Your channel name had always been Fantasized Fables, a little odd but it got your content across. Since your channel hit, your name was no secret but people liked calling you Fable.

You honestly thought it made you sound a lot more badass than you actually were.

Either way, somehow you got connect through a couple of friends and instantly clicked. Corpse was… well, Corpse. You didn’t know that you’d helped him so much when he actually told you what was going on. The endless nights where you would both be up at an ungodly hour and just dm-ing one another. It started after a few nights you both saw each other online, quickly progressing into something much bigger than that.

It got deep all the time. You both had so many thoughts about life and each other’s and your own… you felt so safe when telling this faceless internet friend all your deepest, darkest thoughts. But, you knew Corpse had more. He always told you more, you almost wanted more to comfort him over. The feelings started to fester and grow… there was no stopping how you felt about him.

The day you two actually met was never going to be forgotten, by either of you. It was unintentional, almost straight from a movie. You had, at this point, exchanged contact information and had been now calling for the majority of May. Not to mention, you both found out you lived in SoCal, only progressing  On this particular afternoon, you texted him that you were going on a coffee run to Starbucks… him saying he was going out for the first time as well.

Masked up and muffled, you of course could tell it was his voice from across the street. The slightly amplified “oh fuck” was the biggest giveaway you could’ve imagined. Your eyes looking up to find a man, dressed in complete black, chains and earrings, shaggy black hair- there was so doubt in your mind.

You called his name, his eyes looking up to find yours across the way… traffic laws weren’t going to stop the saint up to him and into his arms. A big, long, well-deserved embraced you knew the both of you needed. He had always been so kind… and gentle… him being physically there was just so… relieving.

The rest is history, and you honestly moved into his apartment as quickly as you could. You couldn’t stand him living alone like that anymore, and he obviously let you in without a second thought.

You both were extremely happy to have each other, and it just kept getting better from there.

You gently shut the door behind you, creeping over to his setup and sliding into his chair, humming softly as you watched the endless chat messages buildup along the screen and peering at the number of viewers he had now achieved.

JEEEZUS christ, 200k?! That’s insane! You thought, widening your eyes at the number on the screen.

Your streams only ever reached 90k, which was a lot more than you had expected. The number was slowly growing now, though… ever since Corpse blew up on tiktok for just posting videos of his hands.

Wild.

You clicked through a few comments, watching super comments flash along the chat as well as mods trying to attempt to get slow chat to work. You couldn’t help but slightly laugh at the struggle, turning back towards the game as a few of the avatars began bouncing around with one another. People were getting back to the game.

You were about to shift around in his seat, reaching for the keyboard to type something in game when two larger hands came gently down on your shoulders. They pushed you gently down against the chair, causing it to lean back with your body. A face moved next to your ear, lips grazing against the skin.

“Whattup Baby?~” That low voice growled, you gently flinching at the rumbling next to your ear.

You turned to find Corpse grinning down at you, his hands easing up off your body and reaching for your face. His right hand came in contact with your cheek, gently squeezing against it as he slowly walked around the chair and crouched down. To be right beneath your eye level.

“Hi..” You hummed, leaning over to press your lips against his forehead before leaning back to look in his maroon-like eyes.

“Why’re you in my chair? You need to get back to your own stream, silly~” He hummed, beginning to stand as he reached for your arm to pull you out of the chair.

You grinned, your head falling back begrudgingly as he easily pulled you from the comfortable seat.

“Wait…! I just wanted to see you…” You lightly whined, him chuckling in response as you stood on your two feet. Him replacing the spot where you had sat.

“Uhuh… and why’s that?” He teased lightly, you couldn’t help but scoff gently while your heart rate increased. He always had that effect on you.

“Well, I mean… I wanted to both congratulate and bother you about your… fucking imposter round-“ He erupted in laughter, you grinning along with him with a simple eye roll, “hey! Let me finish, it was a good round, I’ll give you that… but you threw me under the bus while doing it…! For no reason!”

He raised his brow lightly, his laughter coming to a soft chuckle as he shrugged, “I mean, I gotta keep my title as ‘too fucking good at imposter.’ Sorry, princess…”

You playfully glared in his direction, a stupid smirk spreading across his face. Your lower lip jutted out from your upper one, crossing your arms as you simply pouted in response. He huffed in response, his smirk turning to more of a smile as he reached back out for you.

“C’mere…” He grumbled, his hand grabbing your arm as he pulled you back down to the chair.

“Wait- Ah!” You almost fell against him, barely able to catch yourself against the arm rests on his chair. You looked up, slightly panicked from the sudden fall, to find Corpse smirking right back.

“Wait for what? You’re not ready for affection?” He asked softly, his hand reaching up to push a few loose strands of hair behind your ear.

“N-No, that’s not it…” You mumbled, letting your gaze fall to his chest, seeing the definition of his body through his baggy sweater.

You felt fingers press against the underside of your chin, pushing your face up to look back towards him. You felt your face flush in embarrassment, smiling nervously as his smirk had never faltered.

“You don’t look very sure of yourself…” he whispered to you.

You gently bit at the inside cheek, shrugging quickly, “C-Cuz’ I’m not…”

He chuckled deeply, leaning in slightly as he grabbed you by the lips, gently humming against your mouth as his hands gripped your sides.

You whimpered softly against him, beginning to kiss back as you readjusted yourself in his lap. You quietly wrapped your arms around the back of his neck as you leaned against him.

He chuckled softly, moving his lips against yours as his hands gently slipped up beneath the sides of your shirt and lovingly stroked at your now exposed skin.

“God, you’re so beautiful…” he whispered against you, catching your lips quickly as he continued, “You’re too perfect, fuck… too fucking perfect…”

“Corpse, I-..” You kissed him again, one of your hands reaching up towards his head as you tangled your fingers into the back of his hair.

He hummed against your mouth, squeezing your sides gently as his smily broke out into a grin. The tip of his nose pressed against yours as he sighed, “Yes, princess?~”

“Careful, we need to get back to the game…” You whispered, growing a little nervous as he chuckled.

“They can wait…” He sighed, leaning back in to press his lips back to yours, kissing you deeply once again.

You squeaked lightly, timid as ever before you kissed back. You felt his teeth grazing against your lower lip, gently nipping at the skin. You couldn’t help but slightly moan, pulling away from your lips as he trailed light kisses down your chin and along your jaw.

He was going for your neck, getting there before you could express any protest. You sighed loudly as his lips connected to the skin right below your ear, gently growling against you as you felt a slight wet sensation lick against your earlobe. You shivered, the side of your face falling to the top of his head as he continued his attack on your neck.

“Fuck, Corpse~”

“God, you sound so beautiful baby… you keep acting like this and after the stream? I’ll have no choice but to-“

The desk behind you started vibrating in loud, long buzzes. Both of you freezing in your spots as you turned over your shoulder to find Corpse’s phone lighting up with a phone call.

You quirked your brow, “Who’d be calling you this early in the morning?”

It was 12 pm, you both had woken up at 10 am to actually get ready in time to stream. It wasn’t early for the world, but it was early for this apartment.

“I don’t know… weird,” He leaned forward in his chair, you holding tight against his chest as he grabbed the phone and brought it towards the two of you.

You both looked down at the contact name on the screen, your eyes widening at the name that read.

“Why- hm…” Corpse quickly swiped to answer the call, holding the speaker up to his ear, “Hey Rae, everything okay-“

He stopped suddenly mid sentence, his eyes widening as his cheeks lit up in a bright red. It had to have been the most embarrassed you’d ever seen him, his eyes falling to yours as you read the panic within them.

“R-Right- shit… s-sorry- I-I’ll turn it down now… bye,“ He quickly brought the phone away, immediately hanging up as his eyes flashed towards the chat function on his stream.

“Is… Is everything okay…?” You asked hesitantly, leaning over slightly to read for yourself what people had to say. Did something happen in chat while you guys were preoccupied?

Corpse didn’t respond, his eyes just scanned what the letters read on screen. You frowned, you confusion growing by the second. He hit a button on the keyboard, did he just unmute?

A strained laugh left his mouth, falling back in the chair with you still in his arms. His eyes found yours, his lips slowly turning to a grin before he laughed one of the hardest laughs you had yet to hear from him.

Your eyes widened, completely baffled at this point.

“Corpse, please- What happened?”

“We- We- AHA! We were unmuted!! That ENTIRE time!” He cackled, his hand landing on his chest to almost support him in some way.

You, on the other hand, went from complete befuddlement to absolute humiliation. There was no way THAT was just heard by hundreds upon thousands of people. No fucking way.

“Wh-What??” You began to panic, reaching for his broad shoulders and gently holding onto them, “Wh-What are you even t-talking about?!”

He gently gripped onto you in return, readjusting you against him as he held you there. His laughter died down before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your nose.

You both were open that you were in a relationship, people knew… but, that doesn’t mean you necessarily wanted them to hear..

“Hey, baby, don’t worry… it could’ve been a lot worse… We’re fine~” he reassured, your brow still tensed from your worry. You knew the worst had already happened when he blew up, but how would they use his voice in that kind of tone…

You didn’t want to think about it too much. Not jealous, more just… weirded out. Who knew how people would use your voice in that tone either? You didn’t dwell on it.

“Ah, o-okay… yeah, nothing we need to worry about now,” You nodded with him, his gentle features turning to a warm smile. He brought his hand up to your cheek, his thumb gently swiping across your skin as he hummed.

“Mhm, all is fine… I promise,” He mumbled to you, leaning in softly to press his lips back against your forehead.

You sighed, pausing against him for a moment before leaning away, “Well… p-probably shouldn’t keep them waiting m-much longer…”

Corpse raised his brow gently smiling sadly in agreement with a slight nod. He gently reached for your hips once again, holding them gently as he helped hoist you back onto your two feet. You yelped softly as you let yourself be lifted, extending your two legs to meet the floor.

You stood still for a moment, your eyes meeting his as you timidly smiled, “S-Sorry about the mic thing… I should’ve stayed in my stream.”

You nervously laughed, his smile never faltering as yours broke out into a grin. Your slight guilt written all over your features.

“No, no, you’re totally fine… don’t apologize,” He hummed, his thumbs gently pressing against your hips as he kept reassuring.

“Okay, haha… now we’ll never forget to check our mics,” You winked softly, your hands grabbing onto his larger ones and squeezing them gently in return.

“Haha… never,” He nodded softly, tilting his head gently to the side as he simply watched you.

You sighed, begrudgingly pulling his hands from your hips as you took a small step away. You gently bounced on the balls of your feet, awkwardly putting your hands together behind your back.

“Hm… well! I- uh… will see you in game…” You smiled, his body turning in his chair as he leaned his chin against two of his fingers that you had freshly reapplied black nail polish that night before.

His brow raised quizzically at you, the damn smirk playing at his lips once again. His fingers flexed slightly, his hands following the motion. You could see the veins running down his wrist from where you stood.

He briefly chuckled, “Yeah… I’ll see you there, baby…”

With that, he turned back towards his screen while you didn’t hesitate towards the door. You walked over and grabbed the handle, briefly turning back to the darkened man on the screen, clicking away at the bursts of notifications he was getting from discord.

Oops.

“I love you-“ You flushed, his eyes pulling away from his screen to find you in the doorway. You could see the tint of pink along his cheeks in the darkness of the room.

“…I love you too. Hurry though, Rae is flipping out-“ He laughed, you not wasting a second more to close the door and bound back over to your recording room.

You shut the door behind you, looking up towards your brightened monitor and feeling your breath catch in your chest. You could see your chat blowing up from here, your phone lighting up with MULTIPLE notifications… God, what an unfortunate mistake for Corpse to have made.

You quicken your pace back to your chair, sliding in and putting your headphones back atop of your head. Your camera had come back on in the time you were gone, giving the device a nervous grin before turning towards the game.

“S-Sorry guys, didn’t mean to take that long- uhm…” Your eyes scanned over the chat, not surprised to find it full of caps-locked comments screaming about what happened on Corpse’s stream.

You sighed nervously, your eyes now finding your discord application notifying you that you had… almost fifty notifications?! You mentally had to roll your eyes, quickly turning back towards the camera with a sheepish smile.

“I- uh… I have to go for another minute- B-Be right back!” You laughed, turning on another ad before mentally cursing at yourself. God damnit- your eyes scanned over the viewers on your stream.

What the shit- when did I get 30k viewers?! What the hell?! Of course this is when your viewers decide to spike.

You groaned to yourself, your head falling to your hand as the other reached for your mouse. You clicked to your discord, slowly… but surely, un-deafened your mic.

“OH. MY. GOD. You FUCKING dumbass!” Rae yelled as soon as you unmuted, flinching at the pitch to her tone. It felt like you were being scolded.

“What?! I can’t show my girlfriend some love?!” Corpse replied, not yelling but a definite inflection in his tone.

“No! Nothing wrong with that! But CHECK your MIC next time!!” She laughed loudly. Oh my god.

“Jesus Christ, dude… or at least lower the sensitivity significantly…” Jack spoke up, almost sounding disappointed.

“Ey, welcome back, Fable-“ Felix spoke up, the cheeky grin evident in his tone.

What a fucking asshole-

“FABLE!”

“Oh my god-“

“You guys can’t wait til after stream?!”

“Wait, what am I joining into…?” A new voice intervened, interrupting Rae, Toast, and Lily.

Charlie, what a man, coming in at the worst time.

“H-Hey Charlie…” You spoke up in a greeting.

“Wha- Wait! Answer the question, Fable!” Lily squealed, a groan leaving your mouth as you fell towards your mic.

“I’m sorry! I-I really didn’t mean for it to happen! I had no clue-“

“Yeah, wait, this isn’t on Fable. She just went to go visit Corpse in the other room, guys, chill…” Felix actually stuck up for you, your face lifting in surprise as his words.

“Uh- yeah, actually, I guess that’s fair,” Jack commented, you nervously laughing in response.

“I… am so sorry to all of you,” You apologized softly, a gentle chorus of laughs following your meek apology.

“No, no, no, you’re so fine. You guys weren’t trying to broadcast whatever… that was…” Sykunno hummed awkwardly, you laughing lightly at his uncertainty.

“It was a poor mistake on my part, I’m sorry, Fable…” Corpse spoke up, you grinning at the sound of his voice.

“N-No worries… hey, we already went over this in person. Can we get back to the game?” You grumbled, another fit of laughter through the group at your excusing of the situation.

“Ahaha, yeah let’s get back into it,” Toast replied, the sound of his mouse clicking lightly being heard in the call.

You sighed, deafening yourself once again and turning back on your stream, “Hey everyone, yep… yep, everything’s fine. No worries, I promise, haha. We took a break for a little longer than expected, but we’re back!”

You un-deafened and were met with sound of a very very confused Charlie, “Wait… so… no one’s going to explain to me what happened?”

You all erupted into loud laughter, you falling back slightly in your chair as you cackled. The first voice to come back was Rae, shockingly.

“Don’t worry, Charlie… we’ll tell you later,” She snickered, you laughing along as you came back to your keyboard.

“So… we can start now, though?” Toast spoke up once again.

You began to give confirmations of “yes” with soft ‘yeah’s and ‘mhm’s. Lazy, but it got the point across.

“Cool, starting the next round…” He clicked play again and the countdown began.

“Alright, everyone, remember to MUTE your mics!” Jack spoke up, you rolling your eyes in response as Corpse’s laugh raised above the rest.

“Will do. Thanks,” He chuckled, a louder laugh sounding through the call once again from all mics.

Your screen turned dark, the red avatar of the Among Us character moving to shush you from the screen. You sighed, watching it turn dark again.

“Yeah- yeah, you’re welcome!” Jack played along, grinning softly at the joke as the screen began lighting up once against.

Your screen displayed your avatar next to Corpse’s, the bright red letters of “Imposter” reading across the computer. You raised your eyebrows, making sure you were completely muted on call before chuckling.

“Oh… Hell yeah. Let’s go…”

[47pictures]

“All-Star”

Link to original r/nosleep post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/mv9j9a/for_my_blog_i_toured_a_movie_studio_to_find_the/

________________________________________________________________

I finally made it to Hollywood… at least, I suppose that’s what I’d say if I were trying to make it big. That wasn’t exactly the case, though. On the contrary, my old hometown friend was the one who I’d say ‘made it big,' and she was the only reason I managed to get there. No way in hell I could just stroll through these Hollywood gates without some sort of reputation associated with my name.

I’m currently pursuing a degree in journalism, and right now I’ve got a pretty successful status as a blogger, and hopefully podcaster in the near future. My topics typically cover things involving entertainment, specifically movies, television, some celebrity gossip here-and-there, the ins and outs of the film and occasionally music industry, nerd topics about comic books or comic book movies, and I could go on. Essentially, all the things you’d expect from an entertainment blogger.

I don’t have a secret or special tip for how I grew a mass following. It just sort of happened. I did it since I was in high school - sophomore year, to be exact, and it started mainly as a hobby. Most people are surprised to hear that I was such a good writer and articulate for my age when they look back on the articles I’d put up during that time, speaking on topics such as the ‘downfall of blockbuster films,’ and the ‘toxicity of media's body standards on the youth.’ Truthfully, I didn’t know all of what I was saying half the time. Writing was sort of just my natural gift that I honed to where I could essentially bullshit anything well enough to make a great story. However, being ethical always remained my moral code.

The topic I was covering now involved my own personal ‘investigation’ of a famous movie studio known as Gemini Films. They’ve put out several flicks now that have garnered what most would consider moderate success (they're no Warner Bros. or Paramount, that's for sure). They deal mostly in the thriller/horror genre, sort of like Blumhouse. I’m a bit more in the sci-fi, comedy realm when it comes to my tastes, but really, I’m a bit of a pussy when it comes to scary stuff.

So why am I 'investigating' them? Well, as it turns out, it's their amazing use of special effects. Yep, that’s it. Special effects, that thing we fell for as children we called ‘movie magic,' and growing up learned that some of it were all the crafty work of well-put CGI. Though that’s usually the case, this time, something about Gemini Films seemed different. They’ve always been praised for their ‘hyperrealistic’ visual effects and pulling off stunts that would otherwise seem impossible. I was watching one of their action/horror films titled Last Thorn, and in a particular scene, a character’s on-screen death is, well, very lightly put, gruesome. I’ve seen my share of on-screen gore and played plenty of Mortal Kombat growing up, but I gotta say, I found the scene hard to watch. To clarify, it involved a character literally exploding before the camera, and from the way it was shot and the lack of cuts and edits typically required to create the illusion of a scene, it seemed quite real. A little too real…

They’ve done other things aside from their special effects department that some people on internet discussion forums found a bit too impressive. Take the actors, for instance. In their dramatic scenes, especially the horror flicks, I’m almost always convinced that the actors are actually going to die on screen. I’m surprised all of them haven’t been given Oscars yet, ‘cause goddamn, you’d think the director was holding them at gunpoint. We all saw just how amazing the acting was in films like Hereditary and The Babadook were, but I gotta say, after watching these films, they make those two look like child’s play (no pun intended to the Chucky series). I was so impressed with the actors that I had to look them up and see what other work they’d done, but from what I did find, their resumes didn’t seem that much greater than the work they’d done for GF. It was almost as if that was the peak of their careers unless they decided to further their contracts to star in any more of their movies. Anything else they did pale in comparison that showcased their acting chops.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jamie Douglas.

It had somewhat of household name potential, I thought. She was the next rising star. She’d just won a Golden Globe for her leading role in a TV series I’m sure no one had high hopes for in the beginning, and her name was now attached to an Academy Award-winning film for Best Original Screenplay, all at the age of 22. Her acting was stellar, always had been even growing up back in high school when we did theater together. I was never for the acting side of things; I always preferred the technical realm and behind-the-scenes work. She, however, had the ‘it’ factor. I never once doubted that she’d be famous. It was destined for her.

The taxi driver dropped me off in front of a luxurious one-story home in the Beverly Hills neighborhood, surrounded by other similar houses with a property value larger than what I’d probably make in my lifetime if I was being honest. From the outside, her home reminded me of that gilded, golden age of Hollywood back in the 60s, with a slanted roof and art deco-styled exaggerated features. It was nice and simple. But that’s how Jamie was. Nice and simple.

I could see her peeking through the curtains of her window before she came running out the door to meet me in the front yard. That big beautiful smile and those joyous eyes came rushing at me with open arms.

“Christian!” she screamed my name with excitement, as she gave me a big, suffocating hug.

I hugged her back with my free arm, as my other one was still carrying my trolley bag and she had that one pinned in her grip.

“I’m so glad you made it,” she exclaimed.

“Yeah, I made it to Hollywood, right?” I dryly humored.

Jamie giggled as she began to pull back from her hug and put both her hands on my shoulders.

“Yes we did,” she said with a big smile, flashing her perfectly straight, white teeth. “We sure did.”

She led me inside the house and gave me a tour. Compared to the outside, the inside was the complete opposite in regards to the decorative era. Whereas the exterior was ‘groovy’, the inside was a bit more with the times. Wide-open spaces, tan or beige-colored furniture and walls, a wide sliding door for the backyard where you can see the pool. Jamie recently moved into the house, so I figured there wouldn’t be a lot of things to fill it up with just yet.

“Someone said Bette Davis used to live in this house, which I knew was bullshit, otherwise the value on this home woulda been way outta my league,” Jamie commented.

I chuckled. “Oh, I think you’re well on your way, trust me,” I reassured.

I was going to be staying with her for a week while I did my journaling/blogging. We did tons of catching up. She gave me all the inside scoop of what goes on in Hollywood - or ‘Hollyweird’ as I liked to call it - and even some of her other famous neighbors you might recognize living double lives on the down-low. She said she’d been to a couple of big mansion parties as well, where you’ll see all sorts of celebs from different categories of entertainment. Actors, athletes, musicians, models, influencers, you name it. But Jamie insists that she doesn’t attend those very often, if hardly at all. She prefers to be a homebody when she’s not seeking work through her agent, and her extraversion mostly comes to play when it involves networking.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The rest of the night we stayed up watching TV and YouTube videos. One that fascinated both of us was a video explaining how scientists managed to find a way to make a perfectly cooked steak from a cow, but without actually harming or slaughtering it. Instead, they extracted a small sample of the cow’s cells and took it to a lab where the cells would essentially grow into muscle for it to be cooked later.

“I’d consider that over going vegan,” Jamie said.

But I grimaced at the thought. “I don’t know, it just doesn’t seem right,” I remarked.

"What, are you vegan?"

"No, not that. Just the thought of cloning animals, ya know?"

“I mean, it’s not like they’re killing the cow or anything. They said it’s perfectly unharmed.”

“I know, but still…”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning was day one for me. Jamie had the right connections to get me an on-set tour of the studio lots associated with Gemini Films. I was greeted and led by the third assistant director (or AD as they’re commonly referred to).

“Hi, I’m Tiffany, nice to meet you,” she said, with a rather forced smile and handshake.

She carried a clipboard in her other arm, as well as a hand-held radio clipped to the pocket of her jeans, and I saw that she also had an earpiece nestled in her right ear. I could tell she was about her business and probably didn’t have time to be overly nice or talk too much.

I got a sneak peek of their most current production under the production title *"*Cold Silence", which required me to sign an NDA beforehand, of course. That wasn't actually their final name for the movie, but it's a common thing for them to do when shooting a film when either they haven't decided on a name yet or to keep the nature of the project a secret. It sort of took me back to my theater tech days with all the set designs and props lying around, except these were much more detailed and intricate thanks to their higher budget than what my high school had at the time. Here, there was limitless potential. Tiffany also introduced me to the other ADs, PAs, boom operators, cameramen, make-up artists, and then last but certainly not least, the director.

“Jeffrey?” Tiffany called to the man sitting in the director’s chair. The man turned to face her and then me. “This is Christian Watkins. He’s the man we’re giving a behind-the-scenes scoop for his… blog?” She looked to me for confirmation, to which I nodded. “Yeah, for his blog.”

The man in the big chair stood up with a cool smile and classy charm and extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, nice to meet you,” the man spoke in a tenor pitch. “Jeffrey Bachmann,” he introduced himself.

I didn’t take too much time last night trying to read up on his bio, but from what I could tell at first glance I knew that he was about in his mid to late fifties, as his hair was greying and skin was starting to wrinkle, and I could see that he had a surprisingly calm and laid-back demeanor. Surprising to me, at least. I always thought directing was a high-paced, chaotic mess that never ceased to present a myriad of complications onset that’d make any man want to pull their hair out. But Jeffrey seemed calm, collected, and very personable.

“Hi, thank you for having me,” I replied. “Seriously, this is like a really cool opportunity for me and my blog.”

“Hey man, it’s my pleasure,” Jeffrey said. “I heard you got a big following behind your name. Props to you. I respect the work ethic, especially giving your readers what they really want to see, ya know?”

I shrugged modestly. “Well thank you, but this time was mostly in my own interest to seek out this idea for my current blog,” I said.

“Ah, an interest in GF, huh?” Jeffrey replied. “Well, what would you like to know? We’ve got nothing but time today. In fact, we’re just getting ready to shoot the mangle scene for today and then we’ll wrap it up before we review the dailies.”

“Mangle scene?”

“Oh yeah, if you’ve got a weak stomach or aren’t into gore you don’t have to watch.”

At least he gave me discretion. “Hmm, I think I’ll tough this one out,” I said. “For the blog.”

Jeffrey gave me a sincere but slightly unsettling grin. “That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.”

He was a nice guy so far, but you know how you just meet certain people that for whatever reason, out of their control, their aura seems off? Maybe it was my preconceived notion and warranted cynicism I had of people working in Hollywood. Just a bunch of sharks in a pool with hungry eyes for desperate young talents eager to take a dive in the spotlight. But as I’d imagine with any field, there had to be a decent share of lambs among the many wolves.

Suddenly, one of the makeup artists scampered over to us, their attention directly at Jeffrey.

“Hey,” they said to him with a noticeably fake inflection.

“Hey, what's up?” Jeffrey returned.

“Savannah? She’s losing it back there. Said she wants to talk to you and only you.”

Jeffrey nodded. “Don’t worry, I got it,” he said, as he patted his hand on the MUAs shoulder. He then gave me an apologetic look. “Sorry, Christian, duty calls, but hey, Tiffany?” he looked to the stern AD. “Make sure he gets a front-row view for the martini shot.”

“Yes sir,” Tiffany replied.

Jeffrey and the MUA stepped off to handle whatever business needed handling regarding one of the actresses backstage in the dressing room.

“Martini shot?” I asked.

“Last shot for the day,” Tiffany explained. “For me, that’s a term I like to take literally.”

She seemed so serious all this time that I found the joke almost funny.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

There was now quiet on the set. Shooting was about to start shortly. At this point in the movie, the main character has a stand-off that turns into a big fight scene with the main bad guy at a warehouse factory building. At first, there’s a gunfight, then eventually they both run out of ammo and it comes down to a fistfight before finally having a standstill on top of a rail just over a giant industrial shredder.

Right now, the actor playing the bad guy, Will, is hanging on for his life over the rail above the shredder, while Thomas, the main good guy, is standing over him victoriously. My question was, is the shredder real? ‘Cause it sure as hell looks like it. It wasn’t turned on yet, but just from a glance it seemed legit enough that if I dropped something as sturdy as a microwave in there, it’d come out jelly on the other end.

For the blog, I told myself. For the blog…

Suddenly, my suspicions were confirmed once Jeffrey called to have the shredder turned on. The machine roared to life, the inverting sharp metal gears rotating past each other being a black hole eating everything that passes through it with no escape. Holy shit. It was actually fucking real.

Jeffrey gave the nod to the 1st AD, and the AD returned the same.

“Action!” the AD called.

Based on what Jeffrey showed me from the script, Thomas is supposed to stomp on Will’s hand that’s gripping onto the edge of the rail, causing him to fall to his death into the shredder. The camera was now rolling, yet, I didn’t see Thomas do the deed. Was he pausing for dramatic effect? Was he acting for the camera? I wasn’t quite sure why he was hesitating.

I peaked over to notice that Jeffrey, the once calm and collected man I met backstage earlier, was now beginning to seem noticeably impatient and about to snap at any moment. There was now that dark edge I noticed about him from before but couldn’t quite put a finger on that I could see now coming to light.

Hesitation filled Thomas’ veins, about to raise his foot, then not, dragging on the scene longer than intended. From this distance, I tried to see Will’s own expression, and I regret ever doing so. Surely he was acting, but I’ll be damned, it was too good. Whatever fear he portrayed transmuted itself into me now. It was the kind of fear that I didn’t think could be replicated on command. Jeffrey stood up from his seat, but just before he could say anything or call ‘cut’, Thomas stomped his foot down on Will’s hand, and we all watched as his fingers slip from the railing. Will sent out a bloodcurdling scream as he plummeted to his ‘death’. What followed will haunt me forever.

Do you know what it sounds like to have a person’s body mangled to death? Have you bitten into the bone of any sort of meat? Heard and felt the crunch? Or maybe even the crunch of celery? I myself have never broken a single bone in my body, but imagining what it might sound like other than what I’d heard in movies or video games all seemed elementary now. At first, I had to look away, but what forced me out of my seat to leave was Will’s horrifying screams. He’d fallen feet first into the shredder, so his lower body had to suffer first before reaching his upper body and finally silencing him at the head.

I ran to find the nearest trashcan and hurled. I guess I really didn’t have the stomach for gore, at least, not to this degree. Will’s screams kept looping in my head. It was a new primal sound that evoked a dread within me that I wish I never discovered. The sound of torment. One thing was for sure, Will was one fucking hell of an actor - if this was acting. But the shredder…

It seemed so real. And there was no greenscreen besides the ones to be used for the background later in post-production. I saw him fall right into the damn thing. With my own eyes. In living color. There were no edits, no crazy tricks, no lighting effects. There couldn’t be. It just wasn’t possible.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I was sitting down trying to recuperate, as everyone else around me was wrapping up set for the day. Tiffany came over and handed me a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” I said, taking it.

“You feelin’ better?” she asked.

“Hmm,” I answered with a scoff, raising both my eyebrows and taking a sip from the bottle.

“I’m surprised you stuck around if you had such a weak stomach. I mean, he at least warned you.”

“I usually don’t. But that?” I shook my head. “How do you guys do it? It looked so real.”

“I’m just pulling your leg. I almost vomited too my first time. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

If it was a shame to flinch at something so vile, I don’t wanna know what goes on in Jeffrey’s mind to even come up with such a scene. Speaking of which, I still didn’t get a one-on-one interview with him as I’d hoped. All I had was the end result of his ‘movie magic’, but not how he did it. At this point, I'm not sure I really wanna know.

I went to go get my belongings, which were left in one of the dressing rooms, and was stopped by the sound sniffling from the one a couple doors ahead of mine. I looked on the door to read whose room it belonged to. It read: SAVANNAH YOUNG. She was one of the lead actresses in the movie, or rather I should say the only actress in the whole film. With the makeup artist and Jeffrey thing that happened earlier, it was evident to me that something sour had gone on behind the scenes I didn’t know about.

The door was cracked open and I couldn’t see her face entirely from my view, but I knew she was sobbing. She looked to be sitting in front of her mirror. I was about to just ignore it and go on about my business.

I lightly knocked on the door. “You okay in there?” I asked.

She stopped and I could hear her get up and approach the door. She pulled it back just enough to where I could see her whole face. She was beautiful, just like Jamie, even if she had been crying.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Savannah said. “Thank you.”

There was a brief awkward moment of silence between us. Clearly, she wasn’t fine, but I didn’t wish to pry any further than that.

“Are you one of the new PAs?” she asked. I arched a brow. “Production assistant?” she clarified.

“Oh, no, I’m just a visitor,” I assured. “Writing for my blog. I was supposed to be writing about behind-the-scenes things and how it all works around here, but I bitched out from the ‘mangling scene’.”

Savannah gave a short nod. “I see,” she said. “Well… I don’t blame you.”

I wasn’t sure if it was the way she said it or just from the state that I was in, but her words gave me chills.

“I should get going,” I told her. “Nice meeting you.”

“Likewise,” she replied, and then shut the door.

I got my stuff from the dressing room and got ready to head out. I wonder what could’ve made Savannah so down to where the director had to get involved and set her straight. Jeffrey seemed pleasant to work with at first glance, but who knows, maybe he had a mean streak to him after all, especially the way he looked during the shooting of the scene. God, I just wanted to forget about it. I can’t unhear the sounds. The bones crunching, the blood splattering, and the screaming. The fucking screaming…

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

As I was leaving the studio lot, I noticed the cleaning crew of two men dump a large amount of black bags in the dumpster. From the way they swung the bags over into the bin, the shit didn’t seem light. The bags were in several different sizes, some small, some big, some disproportionate. I stood there and watched as the two men finished disposing of the junk and walked away to go about their other duties.

Regular, common sense me would’ve just picked up the phone, called Jamie to let her know I’m ready to get picked up, and go about my day. But the nosy blogger me kept itching…

I made sure the coast was clear and made my way over to the bin. I can’t believe I was actually dumpster diving, and for what? What did I really expect to find? In my head, I knew the answer, but was avoiding it, either out of how ridiculous it may sound or, God forbid, I was right.

The trash wasn’t stacked high enough from the bottom for me to simply reach, so I had to literally get in there myself. I climbed over on the other end, raised the lid, and jumped down on the piles of plastic bags, holding the lid up with my arm and my breath so I didn’t get a huge whiff of the smell. Though, if I did need to puke again, I supposed this would be the place to do it.

I immediately noticed the bags the men threw away, but in order for me to check what was inside, I’d have to crouch down and let the lid close on me. Fine. That’s what the flashlight on my phone was for. Surrounded in darkness and garbage now, I turned the flash on, illuminating the four dirty walls around me and I pulled back one of the bags. I felt around to try and see what sort of contents might be inside. Mush. It felt all mushy with chunks of solid and a little bit of liquid.

This was stupid, I thought. I realized how stupid I probably looked right then and there, sitting in a bin full of filth looking for clues like some sort of private detective. My followers have no idea how far I’d go, but this was ridiculous. Oh well, I’m too deep in it now, no pun intended.

I held my phone in my mouth as I used my hands to rip open the plastic. My heart began pounding as I slowly pried the bag open. Once I got a peek inside, shame and embarrassment came over me.

Food.

I should’ve just called Jamie to come get me. Had I really become that desperate? I threw the bag over and out of my way. Then I noticed the bag underneath had trickles of fluid. Curious, I shined the light down on it. They were red trickles. Considering how I’d just overreacted only to find a bag full of thrown out lunch, I wasn’t about to get all up in arms about finding red drops behind a Hollywood studio lot. I didn’t know the full recipe for fake blood, but if I recall correctly, Alfred Hitchcock used chocolate when they filmed the shower scene from Psycho.

I tried to follow the small trail and see if it led to another bag. I slowly pointed the light further up and it led me to the bag just behind the one I tossed to the side. Looks like it had a small bust that caused it to leak. When I pulled this one over, a very noticeable smell filled my nostrils and erased any other scent of the trash that surrounded me. It was a metallic, rusty sort of odor, like copper from a penny. However, that smell also belonged to something else…

I ripped open the bag, and with the shine of my light beaming down, I was welcomed to a bright crimson sight of mashed blood and guts. It had to be fake, I thought. It had to… but the way I recoiled from the putrid metallic fresh scent of carnage, my primal instincts told me that wasn’t the case. I innately knew that it was real. I was staring at Will’s mangled body.

Frozen from fear, I sat there for who-knows-how-long. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I’d call the cops first, of course, but they would need evidence, and even then they’d probably dismiss me after I told them I dove into the dumpster of a movie set where fake blood is a common prop. I’d tell Jamie the same, but she’d look at me crazy, too.

I unlocked my phone and started snapping pictures. As much as I could. I even opened some other bags and did the same. I tried to snap every bit of remains that was left of Will and saved them into my phone. It felt like a sick test to see how long I could hold my breath so I wouldn’t gag, and I think I broke a new record that day.

I snapped probably about 47 pictures on my phone before I finally shot up and threw open the bin. The wave of fresh air hit me like a truck, and enjoyed it for only a brief second before turning to see Jeffrey, Tiffany, and the other AD standing by his side. My soul left my body right then and there.

“Christian?” Jeffrey said, sounding concerned.

Fucking say something, I told myself. I did my best not to stutter and look stupid.

“Hey, Jeff,” I said, raising the inflection of my voice, probably sounding dumb.

“Going for a swim there?” Jeffrey joked.

I fake laughed, then put on my best acting skills. “I cannot for the life of me find my ring.”

“Your ring?”

“Yeah, my mom’s ring?”

Then, with the slick subtle motion, I hid my hands to where they couldn’t see them behind the walls of the bin, and with careful coordination used my fingers on my right hand to pull the ring I already had on and flicked it down onto the trash below. I shuffled my feet over the bags I stood on to make noise so they wouldn’t hear the ring drop. Please God, don’t let the ring hit the hard bottom floor or one of the rusty walls, I thought. To my relief, it didn’t.

“Oh man, I’m sorry, Christian, I haven’t seen it,” Jeffrey said, as he looked at the other two as they also shook their heads. “But we can definitely look around again and let you know if we find anything.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said, trying not to make my voice tremble with anxiety.

“Now, c’mon, let’s get you outta there,” Jeffrey said, waving his hand over.

I nodded and shot a quick timid smile. I climbed out of the bin and faced the three before me, wiping myself down.

“Hands a little messy there,” Jeffrey said.

Anxiety raced through me again, but adrenaline had my back to make sure I didn’t fuck up by saying anything dumb.

“Oh, the fake blood?” I chortled. “Yeah, you guys lots of that shit in there. Smells like a chocolate factory.”

Jeffrey fell for it, and laughed. Good. But he could just as easily be playing me right now.

“Given how you ran off earlier back there I’m surprised you can stand to look at it, better yet, touch it,” he remarked.

“I’m sorry about that,” I stammered but stayed on track. “It’s just… I now see for myself, no one does it like GF.”

“Haha, you don’t have to flatter me to get back my respect. Don’t sweat it. I totally understand.”

Is that so? I thought.

“You could use that martini shot right about now, huh?” Tiffany joked.

Definitely not with her any time soon. Or any of them, for that matter.

“Well we’re just heading out for the day, you got a ride?” said Jeffrey.

“Yeah, I should probably call Jamie now and let her know I’m done,” I replied.

“It’s no problem, man, I can give you a lift. I can drop you off wherever you need me to.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“Seriously, I insist-”

“Jamie and I got a spa appointment to catch in a bit. Otherwise I appreciate the offer.”

Jeffrey had a brief look in his eyes, a glint of what I could only compare to a wolf’s gaze hiding behind that sheep’s clothing he carried himself around as, and then smiled and nodded.

“Okay, Christian,” he said. “Once again, nice to meet you and I hoped you enjoyed the tour, and hopefully make some good content for your blog.”

“Absolutely,” I said. “Thank you so much again. Seriously, I can’t thank you enough.”

“It’s nothing, Chris,” Jeffrey said, throwing me off a bit. “Can I call you, Chris?’

I shrugged. “Sure. I mean, I called you Jeff by accident,” I said.

“It’s fine. Chris and Jeff it is.”

I needed to get away from here. Now and as fast as possible. But I still needed to do one more thing.

“Any chance I can wash these off inside?” I said, raising my bloodied hands.

“Oh of course,” Jeff said.

“I can lead him back,” Tiffany said, ready to go with, but Jeffrey stopped her.

“Ah, he knows his way in, right?” Jeff looked to me for reassurance.

“Yeah,” I answered confidently.

“Good, well hopefully I’ll see you around, Chris, and you enjoy the rest of your day.”

“Thank you, Jeff. And you all do the same.”

As I walked past them and towards the studio lot, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was being set up. Why hadn’t he let Tiffany escort me back inside? I’d think that would be customary for them to do for visitors entering and exiting the building. But I felt that they were watching me from behind, and with every step, I grew more and more anxious.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I’d made it inside and the lot was now nearly empty and quieter. I didn’t see a single person in sight, and only a few lights remained on, making it mostly dark. I hurried the fuck up and did what I came to do, as I didn’t wanna be here any longer and didn’t feel safe.

Down the hall where the dressing rooms were, I rushed over to Savannah’s door, and saw that it was closed. I tried opening it only to see it was locked. Looking down, there was no light shining through the cracks either, meaning there was no one inside. She wasn’t there. Shit.

I washed my hands in the bathroom, scrubbing the dried blood off as thoroughly as possible, getting under nails and all, cringing at the thought of it being Will’s. Suddenly, I heard a noise from outside the hall leading to the bathroom. Petrified, my heart sank into my chest, and I froze. I shut the water off, and carefully approached the door. I listened for any other sounds as I placed my ear closer. After a few moments, I heard the noise again, but then realized that it seemed to be coming from one of the dressing rooms just outside in the hall.

Since I carry a notebook around most of the time for jotting down notes, I certainly always carry a pen. What most people don’t know is that I carry a military tactical pen for a variety of uses, and in times like these, it can be used as a subtle but effective weapon. I switched the tip from an ink ball to a small slick blade.

I opened the bathroom door and crept through the hall over to the dressing room door that made the noise, holding the pen underneath the breast pocket of my sweater. On the outside of the door, it read, “WILL BANKS.”

Confused, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. Common sense me once again kept barking in my brain telling me to GTFO, but I had to be sure. I gave three shy knocks and waited. There was definitely someone in there because whatever noise I thought I heard from behind came to an utter halt. I could hear faint whispers of someone’s voice, and then another. There was more than one. My hand trembled as it tightly gripped the pen underneath with sweat as I heard whoever it was on the other end of the door approach.

It swung open, and there stood Will Banks, the man whose blood was just on my hands moments ago, alive and well, in the flesh. It couldn’t be, I thought to myself.

“Can I help you?” he said.

I just stood there, baffled, without answering. Behind him, I saw Savannah, who instantly recognized me and came over.

“Hi,” she said. “I thought everyone left.” She looked to Will. “He was visiting the set today for his vlog, or I’m sorry, blog.”

Will nodded, understanding now. “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t get to meet you. Will Banks,” he said, pointing at his name on the door. “As you can see.” Savannah chuckled, and Will extended his hand for me to shake.

“Christian, or Chris,” I said, releasing the pen from inside my sweater and reaching my own hand out to take his. "Whichever you please."

He had a firm shake, and it felt uncanny considering what I’d just witnessed. I was touching him, feeling his skin and bone underneath, the warmth of his body temperature through the flesh. He was real. He was alive and breathing. That couldn’t be faked. That couldn’t be a visual effect. This was real. After we let go, suddenly my hand went cold. Everything about this seemed off and downright strange.

“Did you stick around for the shoot?” Will asked.

“I did, as a matter of fact.”

“Well, what’d you think?”

I wanted to say so many things right then and there, he had no idea.

“Um... y’all are some damn good actors,” I said.

Will laughed a bit, accepting my sham form of flattery, but Savannah, not so much. She gave one of those forced gestures as to not make it feel awkward, though, I noticed it right away.

“How do you do it?” I asked.

“I would give you some artistic bullshit answer like ‘study your craft’ or ‘years of training,' things like that, but honestly… it just kinda clicks, ya know?”

I fake chuckled. “No, I don’t. It looked kinda real from my end. Too real, I might add. Care to go into detail how you guys pulled it off?”

“Well, uh-”

Savannah interrupted. “Wait, you know what Jeffrey would say,” she whispered to him.

“I know, but it’s for his blog,” Will argued.

“But still.”

“I mean, Jeffrey’s not here, right?” I chimed in.

They both looked at me, then at each other. There seemed to be some sort of nonverbal understanding between them, and Will looked back at me.

“All right, for the sake of your blog, I’ll give you what I can to the best of my wording, that sound good?” Will proposed.

I took the pen back out from inside, switching it to the ink ball with a short click, and whipped out my small notebook. “Hit me,” I said.

“Get ready for this one. Basically, we’ve been using a new thing in the biz lately sort of like mocap but it’s not exactly. It’s also kinda like hologram sort of tech?”

“Really?” I said, eyes widened with interest as I wrote words down.

“Yep. That’s how we did it. What you saw, was as real as the hologram thingamajig allowed you to.”

“Hmm.”

“The shredder, too.”

“What?”

“The shredder. That was a hologram also.”

“Really? Okay…”

I finished writing on my notepad then turned it so that Will could read it.

BITE ME, I wrote with a big circle around it.

He laughed. Savannah did, too, but, again, in a strange nervous and restrained demeanor.

“That’s a nice story,” I said. “So if you’re ready to quit bullshitting with me, and tell the truth, I’m ready,” I spoke in a playful yet no-nonsense tone. “How’d you do it?”

“You’re good, man,” Will said with a smile, pointing his finger at me. “Like a true journalist.”

Any other day I’d be pleased to hear that, but I was serious. I needed to know, so much that I’d forgotten how long I’d actually been here. I told myself I was gonna leave as soon as I could, but now, for some reason after talking with Will and seeing how personable and genuine he came off, he put me a bit at ease. Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion. But then the screams echoed in my head again, and the smell...

“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?” I said.

“Look, I wish I could, honestly, but if I did, Jeffrey may not be too happy with either of us,” Will responded sincerely. That much was true, I could tell.

“All right, I think I tortured you enough,” I said, then immediately regretted my choice of words.

“No worries, man. Nice meetin’ ya. Good luck with the blog.”

“Thanks.”

I looked at Savannah one last time, and she looked back with a serious and almost scary gaze as though she needed to tell me something very bad. That’s who I came back for anyways. But that opportunity was a lost cause now, as I left with nothing and still no understanding of how Gemini Films did their visual effects? And I lost my mother’s ring. Fuck, I didn’t have time to go get it right now. I didn’t wanna risk being seen again. Hopefully, Jeffrey keeps his word and they somehow manage to give it back. That being said, I'd be fine with not having to see him ever again.

Whose blood was that? Whose body was that in the dumpster? Was it real? Was it actually just that well made to where the average person could be fooled into thinking it was actual flesh? Who’d go through the trouble of all that?

The screams of losing your life inch by inch, the sounds that would haunt me forever. And the smell of what was inside that bag. That instinctual gut feeling… how was it not real?

[lnc2]

Shutterbug (1/?)

Chapter 1: something happens when everybody finds out

Summary: The word is out and the gossip is in: Ladybug’s got a man on her arm and it isn’t Chat Noir.  The hottest new couple to hit the Parisian spotlight? Ladybug and Adrien Agreste.

A/N: A commission from the wonderful @alienducky that grew out of control. Shout out to @overworkedunderwhelmed for helping me with the title.   It’s just what I was looking for.

AO3

This is a dream.  This has to be a dream.

Adrien watched in fascinated horror as his father and Nathalie outlined their plan of attack to the shell-shocked love of his life.  Ladybug’s arms were crossed around her stomach and her mouth hung open, just the slightest, frozen as Gabriel oh-so-casually requested– no, demanded – the superheroine’s cooperation.

“Are you okay with this?” He asked, voice low so as not to catch his clearly insane guardian’s attention.

Ladybug turned away from Gabriel and his runaway PR campaign.  She gave him a somewhat wobbly smile.

“Sure,” She squeaked. “Yup.  Tip-top. Totally fine!”

The too-perky words hung between them for a moment, suspended in horribly awkward time.  Adrien knew his partner too well to know she was anything but panicking.

“It’s okay,” He said, reaching out to gently touch her arm. “I’ll get you out of this.”

“No!” She said, too loud.  Red peeked out beneath her mask, dusting her nose and cheeks. She shook her head, tried again. “I mean– no.  Th-that’s okay. I’m kind of the reason you’re in this mess in the first place, right?”

That wasn’t entirely true, but Adrien wasn’t going to point out the embarrassingly obvious.  If she wanted to pretend he hadn’t made a total ass of himself to the press, well, who was he to stop her?

“Besides,” She said, shy smile peeking through her nerves. “There are worse ways to spend my time.”

“Heh,” Now it was his turn to blush. “Really? I mean, yeah. Ah.  Yeah.”

Gods strike him dead. 

He was barely in this and already making a fool of himself.

“Adrien,” His father snapped, drawing their attention back to the front of the room.  “Do pay attention. This is your scandal we’re dealing with.”

“Yes, father.” He murmured.

Scandal.

The word hung in the air like an accusation.  Unfair, really, and an exaggeration. There wasn’t anything particularly scandalous about what was happening.  It was more… sensational.

And it started, as these things usually do, with a rumor.

Some one anonymous person on the Internet or another asking the question: who should be dating Adrien Agreste?

Since the he’d ‘gone public’ on social media and started sharing more details about his personal life, speculation was rife over which if any of the girls featured on his instagram were worthy of his attention.

A ridiculous question really when, as he told his commenters, they were all just friends.  On the record, he wasn’t interested in anyone.

Off the record? Well, he was working on that.

Nevertheless, the rumors spiraled, as they usually do, from there.

Clara Nightingale was written off as too old, Chloe Bourgeois as too mean, and his school friends as too low-key.  It wasn’t until one inspiration-struck individual suggested Ladybug that the message boards lost their collective minds.

Video mashups of Ladybug’s press conferences, fan footage, and Agreste ads started making the rounds.  Doctored images of Ladybug and Adrien embracing, staring longingly into each other’s eyes, or even just standing near each other were rampant on sites like tumblr.  All and any of the little real interactions the two shared were shared and dissected and shared again.  One manic evening, after Audrey Bourgeois was akumatized and Ladybug was seen carrying the supermodel across the city, #ladrien started trending on Parisian twitter finally meriting the attention of major news outlets.

How all of this rumbling underbelly of Ladybug lore managed to miss him was a mystery.  But whether through school or modeling or whatever it was his father scheduled to max out his free time, Adrien didn’t hear about #buggreste or #ladrien or whatever the kids were calling it these days.

That is, he hadn’t, until his disastrous post-photoshoot run-in with Nadja Chamack.

“Adrien, a moment.” She said, accosting him just as he was about to enter his limo.  “Is it true that you and Ladybug are dating?”

The question, one right out of his deepest, most desperate dreams, stopped him cold.

The camera focused in on him, a journalist’s dream: eyes wide and bright, cheeks so, so red.

“I–” He nearly tripped over his feet as he turned to face the reporter and her camera. “Where did you hear that?”

“So it’s true?” She asked, forcing the microphone closer.

“She– I… Me?” He stammered, more flustered and starry-eyed by the minute.  Unfortunately for the viewers at home, Gabriel’s assistant Nathalie stepped in front of the camera blocking him from view.

“That will be all.”

But the damage was done.

What once was a dizzy-eyed fangirl’s daydream turned into the hottest gossip to hit Paris since the superheroes first stepped onto the scene.

By the time it officially hit the Ladyblog it was regarded by everyone not in the know as fact. Alya did her best, really, she did, to stem the tides. For the sake of #ladynoir (and her best friend) she had to try.  But when Monday rolled around and the contrite blogger finally managed to catch up with Marinette there really wasn’t much left to say.

“I’m so sorry, girl,” She said, throwing her arms around her friend. “No one will listen to reason.”

Marinette shrugged. “It’s okay, Alya.  It’s kind of funny when you think about it.”

“It’s ridiculous is what it is,” She said. “Ladybug and Chat Noir are already together.”

“I don’t know about that,” Marinette said, rolling her eyes. “But it is rather reckless.  If it is true, I mean.  Imagine the akumas.”

“I’m sure Adrien will be fine, M.  It’s just gossip. Everything will blow over in a few days.”

Things did not blow over. 

They blew up.

And Marinette could only blame herself.

It was unfair, really, for the reporters to corner her like they did.  Ladybug and Chat were mid bien joue when they descended, rabid dogs wild for the latest scoop.

“Ladybug, can you comment on the Adrien situation?”

“Um,” She said, leaning further into Chat’s side as they encircled her. “No?”

Another microphone was shoved in her face. “So you’re saying you’re not interested in him?”

“No. I– wait yes.  I mean no.  I mean–” She laughed, nervous.  “What was the question?”

It was a rambling mistake on her part, a Marinette-ism sneaking through the mask.  But it was so hard for her to think with the flashing bulbs and shouted questions and rolling cameras.  Her miraculous was beeping and Chat’s arm gripped her waist as he pulled her close.

“I believe that’s all the time Lady has for today.” Chat said, extending his baton and vaulting them up, up, upward until they reached the nearby rooftops.  “Catch you later!”

Her partner was good for things like that.  Unfortunately he couldn’t save her from her runaway mouth and the resulting headline carnage.

Bug Outted! Secret Romance with Adrien Agreste CONFIRMED!

Buggreste or Ladrien?  YOU Decide.

The Claws are OUT: Chat Noir and His Plan to Win Ladybug Back

The last one featured a picture of Chat Noir sneering at the camera as he pulled a flustered Ladybug out of the paparazzi’s line of fire.  For days afterwards the Internet was abuzz with the news that she was cheating on Adrien with her partner which resulted in at least one akumatization.

The whole thing was more than a little ridiculous.

For obvious reasons, Ladybug thought it best to avoid being seen anywhere near the Agreste estate, but after a swarm of reporters chased Adrien down at the school things seemed a little… desperate.

Gabriel Agreste was the one who called for the meeting.

A stern direction for Adrien to make the request on his friend’s “little blog” was enough to send the forums into a tizzy.  But it was the news footage of Ladybug swinging over the vaulted gates of the Agreste manor that really set them going.

All of which culminated in this moment:

Adrien and Ladybug, red-faced and more than a little mortified, staring down the ultimate PR campaign.

“So we’re agreed then,” Gabriel said, looking down his nose at the blushing teens. “The two of you will carry on this… relationship for a time before breaking it off.  The public fervor will die down and we can move on from this disaster.  Are we clear?”

Adrien cast a searching look towards Ladybug, everything he’d ever wanted since he was fifteen.  She met his gaze and gave him a tentative but nonetheless heartstopping smile. A small thrill shot down his spine as the reality of what they were agreeing to sunk in.

The opportunity to date Ladybug with his father’s blessing?

Hell fucking yes.

Adrien met Gabriel’s steely gaze with his own.

“Absolutely.”

[tinycamembert]

team bonding

This started out as me just wanting to write about a scene based on the splat jam drawing from yesterday and it turned into many more words basically of me being mushy about how much I love this team. 4 little drabbles, the name shows the POV! All characters belong 2 @bottledupcomic / @tamarinfrog

I’m posting on mobile so sorry if there are formatting issues!!

———

1. Whinter

"What about this one?" Vadelma asks. On the plate lie four small pastries, sample size for her teammates, little berries nestled in the center of the flaky dough and melted chocolate drizzled over top. Whinter tries his best to admire it for half of a second before he shoves the entire thing in his mouth.

"Mmhmph," he manages, white hair flopping in his eyes as he empathetically nods his approval. To his left, his teammates are just as absorbed in the taste testing as he is.

"What's in the middle?" Marian asks, studying the half of the pastry left in her hand. Logan has already finished his and is eyeing the plate on the counter with extras.

"Raspberry compote," Vadelma says, fiddling with the plate as she watches her teammate's reactions. "It's not too much? That's what I wasn't sure about, adding that but then also putting the berries on the top? And then the chocolate—"

"It's perfect," Marian says.

"I love it," Logan agrees. He has a smudge of chocolate on the corner of his mouth. Vadelma smiles like a sunbeam.

"Great!" She says, scurrying back to the counter. "You all can have the rest, then. I'll make a brand new batch for customers later." The plate with the leftovers has six pastries.

"In case your parents want to try," Vadelma says to Marian, placing two gingerly in her outstretched hands.

"For your dad," she hands one to Logan.

"And one for your mom, one each for your brothers," Vadelma continues, this time to Whinter. She gives him quick little wink as she hands him the last one. "I put extra chocolate on this one for Cloud. So don't let those pesky brothers of yours take it."

"Oh, I won't." Whinter tries to wink back, but he's not sure if he winks so much as blinks really fast with both eyes. Not like it really matters. He knows that Vadelma already knows how much it means to him.

2. Logan

"Ha!" Marian crows, triumphant from her kneeling position on the floor. She had started the race leaning back on Vadelma's legs, but as the match progressed she ended up hunched forward over her controller, focused on the racing game on the screen in front of her.

"There's still another lap," Logan points out on Marian's right. He's not exactly feeling the pressure of competition, considering Whinter still is figuring out what all the buttons on the controller do and Vadelma is perfectly content to stay in the middle of the pack. Logan zooms around a corner and takes a jump off to a shortcut on the race map, which lands him safely in front of Marian again.

"Wh—you can't do that!" Marian exclaims. "That's cheating."

Logan grins slyly. "It's strategizing. Not cheating. You can see the path break off, you just chose not to take it."

"I didn't know it was a shortcut. But fine," Marian huffs, leaning forward further as she concentrates. Logan hears Whinter snicker behind him. Marian would never be able to complain about Logan taking shortcuts if he called it strategy. He's pretty sure it would go against her entire team philosophy, even if right now they were just playing Mario Kart. Whatever! Didn't matter. He was still gonna win.

"Ooh, Vadelma got something," Whinter announces, and Logan hears Vadelma's telltale giggle behind him. It is not a comforting sound.

"What did—hey, no!" He yells, but it's too late. Vadelma launches the blue shell, and the beepbeepbeepbeep of the timer starts to play in his corner of the screen as his doom rapidly approaches. Marian cackles beside him.

Marian isn't too far behind him, and neither is the blue shell—so Logan slows down.

He times the move perfectly—just as Marian catches up to him, she realizes her mistake, and the blue shell comes crashing down on them both, Logan's kart spinning in the middle as Marian goes careening off the edge.

"Logan!!" She shrieks, as he crosses the finish line all alone and Whinter howls with laughter behind him.

"Oh dear," Vadelma says, her voice choked up like she's trying very, very hard not to laugh. She gives Marian a pat on the back as consolation. "Well, I tried my best, dear!"

Marian waves her hands around in the air as if trying to shoo the loss away. "No, no," she says, her cheeks red, a smile threatening to break its way onto her face. "You know what? It was a good strategy."

3. Vadelma

"Oh! And one last thing," Marian says, as Vadelma pours her captain a cup of lavender tea—another one—now almost an hour into this team meeting. She wishes she had brought the coffee pot over for herself. Honestly, Vadelma could listen to Marian talk all day about anything, but this supposedly "super quick" team meeting Marian called had devolved into a lecture about punctuality and new bottling plans and Vadelma's eyes were starting to droop.

"It's September 1st," Marian says, slapping her hands on the table as a form of punctuation, "So— it's almost Halloween."

Whinter lets out a long-suffering groan, thumping his head on the table. Logan pats him on the back. Marian narrows her eyes.

Very subtly, or so she hopes, Vadelma pushes the cup of tea a little closer in Marian's direction.

"You've been brainstorming costumes since July," Whinter grumbles. "What else is there to talk about?"

"I'm so glad you asked," Marian says, and pulls out her phone.

Vadelma peers over Marian's shoulder as she opens YouTube, and Marian scoots a bit closer and angles the screen towards Vadelma, looking pleased that her teammate is interested. The soft edges of her hair tickle Vadelma on the cheek.

Well, Vadelma is definitely interested. Maybe not in exactly what Marian is showing her on the screen, but it's fine. She watches anyways. The title of the video reads I Put a Spell on You.

"Um," Vadelma says, about a minute into the video. It looks like a dance number from an old Halloween movie.

"So... you want to do these costumes?" She asks. Please, just the costumes, she thinks.

"Well, yeah," Marian beams, passing her phone across the cafe table to Whinter and Logan so they can see what she's talking about. Marian takes a moment to adjust her glasses as they watch, and Vadelma and Logan exchange a look of barely concealed terror.

"Singing," Logan mouths. Vadelma widens her eyes in response and gives him a rapid shake of her head. She had the same thought.

"Marian." Logan says flatly. "What is this?"

"Hocus Pocus," Marian says, but the boys' faces remain blank. "The movie. That's the name of the movie? Hello?"

"Never heard of it," Whinter mumbles, still transfixed on the screen.

"That settles it," Marian says. "We'll do a team movie night so we can watch it. And then we can figure out who is going to be who."

Okay, a team movie night would be fun—

"And we can practice the dance some other time," Marian finishes. She takes a pleased sip of lavender tea.

Well, at least she didn't say singing. Probably. Vadelma will go along with it, and so will her teammates, because they all know how much it means to Marian.

"Like you said, it's almost Halloween," Vadelma says. "Would you like to get out the decorations?"

4. Marian

"Oh, no no," Marian says, feeling her cheeks flush darker by the second. "Don't sing. Please don't sing."

"But it's your birthday!" Whinter protests. "We have to sing."

"There's too many people in here!" Marian blusters. People in the cafe were already looking over when her teammates paraded out the cake Vadelma had made, no doubt having toiled over it for hours beforehand—at least Vadelma did. Marian is doubtful that Logan and Whinter had helped much beyond stealing fingerswipes of icing off the top of the cake while Vadelma swatted at them with the frosting pipe.

The mental image makes her grin for a moment before she's jerked back to the present, where her teammates, despite her protests, are now singing.

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday to you...

Everyone is looking over now, and to Marian's horror, other people are joining in.

Happy birthday, dear Marian,

Happy birthday to you!

Other cafe-goers clap as the song finishes, and Marian fights the urge to bury her face in her hands and laugh and strangle Vadelma and Whinter and Logan and cry with gratitude all at once.

"Thank you," she giggles, wondering if her face has ever been redder in her entire life. "You idiots."

"You're welcome, dear," Vadelma beams. "Try the cake!"

"We all worked very hard on it," Whinter says solemnly, and Vadelma must jab him in the back with her nails, because he lets out a yelp and Logan snickers at the spectacle.

The cake is beautiful. It has three layers and light blue icing slathered generously all over the top and sides, piped with darker blue waves that flow gracefully around the outside. There are rainbow sprinkles on top, which Marian guesses is the aforementioned hard work that Logan and Whinter said they put into it.

"The icing has lavender in it," Vadelma adds. "We thought you might need it."

Marian smiles like an idiot. She has the best teammates in the world, even if they embarrass her to death sometimes.

"I'll have some, but everyone else has to have some, too." she concedes. "This is way too big to eat by myself. Besides, it'll taste better if I can share it with all of you."

———

[twracehorse]

Cringing at my own videos

Training Videos Edition!

I got bored, needed motivation to start editing, went back to take a look at my older videos, and now I judge and cringe at them because that’s a given at this stage

Under the cut to keep your dash shorter :3

Determined Horse Training, the title I came up with to be a little unique. I obviously couldn’t use something akin to Northena’s “Training Is Fun...Right?” and I wanted to give it a proper title knowing this would be a series of videos. I thought, and thought, and came up with the title after thinking of Undertale and how you are filled with determination in the game. “I am filled with determination to train these horses!” is what I thought and so the title of the series became that!

I use // as a way to separate different topics I’m talking about

Brave Rebel- First off...the thumbnail. He was originally themed sort of after Nathan Drake from Uncharted, since I was into that series at the time. So the map was, you know, for the treasure hunting. But I didn’t want to stretch the map to fit and somehow decided that a brown background was a good idea?? // AH THE CLOTHES! THE NECK!! AHHH GATORADE OCEAN BLEHH. // Oh yeah I have a spelling error in the video “Let’s go defeat this traning day!”. // Been training with Sage from the start of the series. I wonder how many fails of their’s I’ve caught XD // Ah the rocks, the rocks that I caught Sage stumbling out of in a later training video. // Let’s not forget the double mouse thing going on that makes its appearance in many videos before I figured out to click off of the web pages (which had a music playlist going while training). // Omg there’s someone with the club name The Babies standing nearby when I turn in the final race. // Low-key still love this horse. He was my first true Soul Steed before we were designated to our starter. I don’t take him out much, the difference in horse animations from new to old is getting bigger and for dynamic photos, it just doesn’t look good ( @~@)

Cool Hero- The horse based off of Markiplier back when he had red hair. I also uploaded the video on his birthday! // The song choice....I mean it fits the theme, otherwise I’d pick a better song. // The mini references I’m still low-key proud of. // There’s quite the amount of gliding pons in this video and some horror texture pons. // I obviously had to max Markimoo at the observatory! // I also mimicked Mark’s outros where an image is boomeranging. It took a couple tries with my friend in the background, but it was worth it!

Violet Mystery- I hope when I introduced her as “The winner of the Jorvik Wild horse competition” I mean, she was the first coat to be picked. Back when it was only one horse coat is being made. They added the top two coats afterwards. // Oh yeah the character’s whole head would move to the side to keep eye contact with the camera. // It’s so weird to think that I caught a bit of footage of Swifty just before meeting her. Then again I remember NOT editing this training video until months later and uploaded it in September. Mind you that I got Cool Hero and Violet Mystery at the same time and Cool Hero’s video was out in June...oops. // Ironic that I have the pandoric cracks around when the horse is based off them. // People running up from the riding arena, ah the fog glitch that would happen when you left your horse in the riding area, ran all the way to the dino valley elevator, took it, and there was no fog in the valley! 

Megalove- Ah the first Undertale horse! I mean technically still the only Undertale themed horse I have, but I do have others planned. Haven’t gotten them yet and some plans changed. // The thumbnail....why did I make the stickers super tiny?? // Finally changed Elsa’s hairstyle to the ponytail I still wear to this day. We need updated ponytails with side bangs! I know we have the awesome braided ponytail in Mistfall, but there’s too much forehead! // Also the first training footage with the meet up....was 4 hours long. This was back when I recorded all stages of training and went through the footage in real time....I’m glad I changed strategy. // Can’t remember if crashing into a jump and the jump of the music timed at the same point was on purpose or if it was editing magic. // Oof cringing that I put comic sans as Sans “talking” in the video nnngghhhhh! // Ah my old club name Royal Ambassadors. I gave that club over to my side account Chiara Monsterhope for obvious reasons. // Annoying Dog in the credits, I still love that

Lucky Hero- I’m still proud that I came up with his nickname Vien short of Vienna where the famous riding school is. He, along with Brave Rebel, are my top horses. Please get an update eventually boys! // Finally Mac users had clear water! I was so happy over this you do not understand XD // Warriors by Imagine Dragons fits this horse, but quite a pain when I got Dark Warrior and didn’t want repeating songs. // Oh yeah early on, the Lipizzaners had a weird reflective tail glitch going on. // Vien was the first horse of mine that I got the day of release, bright and early in the morning! // I love how in the face of danger, an approaching bull dozer, I just stare at it. It wasn’t even a “oh no I should get out of the way” and instead was “huh that’s a thing”. // ALLY CHUM! I forgot that was a nickname to good friend!

Grey Ghost- OH BOY HERE WE GO!! Honestly my favorite training video. It was so much fun to edit with the music and the Halloween stickers hidden around the screen! Despite waking up at 5am to train for that aesthetic™. // Okay but that mushroom with the dark green sign did legit give me a spook. My body froze for a second and then I remembered that Slenderman doesn’t exist in Star Stable XD. // Ngl two of the stickers are hard to see cause of their surroundings. // GALLOPER THOMPSON MY MAN! Honestly I waited till midnight for him to be in Goldenleaf forest, just to see what would happen if you were racing and he caught you. By the gods of editing magic, the song was at a good point that fits perfectly with that scene. // For the scarecrow race I did actually take two different takes. I failed the first one and when I was editing I noticed that the two runs looked similar. So I put the first part of run 1 and cut before I failed and then put the remaining of the race with run 2. Looks almost seamless! 

Silent Promise- My favorite mare in my stable! She ends up being my AoT cosplay photo horse...until I get the actual themed horse XP. // Shadows were a little glitchy at first. // Why am I using Rud instead of Rude. Like I know why cause that’s how we got around the filter, but I didn’t need to put it like that in the video. It’s like back in my WolfQuest days where I learned to use Cuz as a short version of Cause and it bled into my text vocab. // The witch bombs...I wanted to make it dramatic, but in hindsight it’s just tasteless really. Also to note that the sound which was fine before uploading, got more rough once it was on YouTube

Small Potential- Real cringe theme here, Hetalia. It was fun while watching and all that, but since then I’ve seen some well done anime! Growth! // I love the nickname Finny. Not too sure if I want to keep this pony or not, sadly. // The Christmas remix song is because I had no other ideas XD

Brave Eagle- Oh this is another slight cringe theme. Even more cringe is the fact that I had to re-upload this training video since it got blocked all over the world! due to the Hamilton musical songs. So I....had to layer over the songs with other songs....it’s a whole mess and was a whole pain since I had to re-edit the sound effects. // I’m proud of the thumbnail though....that’s it

Winter Dust- Why did I make the “there’s a new app with these foals you can train” with the dramatic music? // I think because I had less levels to train, I tried filling that space with “cool looking shots”. // Ah, yes, my How To Get Over A Jump wikipedia step by step

Hollow Phantom- Had to bring a creepy vibe even though it was February. So he’s like a Halloween not Halloween horse. // Can you believe that I found the main song from a Haikyuu!! crack video? XD. // That zoom on the pony surrounded by magic shires was weird. We’re saying “SO TINY” but the clip was so short it was done and over without much sense. // Mmm that slight irritation that the music and clip didn’t match with the drop. // Tried to blend the music together with itself....it’s obvious. // Of course had to max the Galloper horse where I first met the phantom himself

North Guardian- I wanna talk about the thumbnail....that background...is literally just the horse’s hindquarters. I wanted something mossy since the horse is sort of based off of Pelagia from Shadow of the Colossus. I couldn’t find good enough backgrounds, so I used the horse itself. // Again that urge to want to make the clip and music match but ahhh

Lucky Lucky- Still wish I could name this horse Gold Luck or something. // I think one of the camera turns during a race was just to show off the rainbow nearby. // Ahh! back when we could say “demon” in the chat. // Hmm instead of letting the clip run, I could’ve just cut to Reed calling the askew fence “a disgrace”. // Text was onscreen for just too long. // Trying to do the riding arena jumps with a good camera angle. But at that point, the camera kept moving and wouldn’t hold still. I’m glad it’s better now. Maybe I’ll try it again with a future horse. // Huh, forgot to add sound effects when I hit something on the last race

Silent Surprise- Cause I had to let the people know that I bought the horse after watching the Belmont. // AH STILL THE NECK! // 2 minutes in and we haven’t even gotten to the actual training yet. // Another day, another SSO glitch, this time it’s shadow rocks. // Oop missed a sound effect

Hot Spot- THE MUSTACHE! // I forgot I put a filter over the video to give it an old timey look. I should do more like that if it’s in theme. // Of course I had to have The Wanted be playing with this song since it’s old west sounding. // What was the purpose of editing the scarecrow race like that? XD. // Random running clip. // Walking the whole bobcat race would be nice if I didn’t keep moving the camera

Pumpkin Candy- As much as I love my Halloween horses, this training video isn’t up to the standards that the first Halloween training video set up. It’s still got Halloween themed music, it’s still got stickers hidden in the video, but it doesn’t feel the same. // Having text be their default instead of making them the same agh. // The spooky filter I overlayed the clips with changes at times. Would be nice if it stayed consistent

Dragon Dawn- Hmm now that I have more songs to choose from (getting into another artist as much as I did with The Wanted), I would have another song playing to fit the horse better. Maybe Euphoria or Mikrokosmos. Oh well those will be for future horses eventually! // Didn’t drop with the music...disappointed

Thunder Spirit- The horse that trains through three months. You can easily tell by the Valentine race, the rainbows of March, and April Fools. // Man I really need to work on making the text not be so BIG. // The first rainbow race had lots of sound effects. After that one I was just like “yeah not doing that again”

Sun Chaser- Eh the slowed down music is not the best idea. But I think it was also an intro to a remix of the song. So it was only so long and I had a bit to say for the intro of the horse. // The second clip of the mysterious Icelandic cryptid you can’t see them once it zooms in....annoying. // Too much of a slow build up with another cryptid spotting. // Also using the same sound but slower after just using it...smooth (not). // You know the very last clip of the horse as he’s turning around on the beach? Yeah that’s the exact moment I did the intro for the horse XD

Dragon Warrior- The contrast between me and Sage’s bantering vs the sadder song (I found the song because of a Zeno AMV) well it’s kinda weird having laughs and then sad melody. // YouTube again ruins the quality of the mic as it sounds fuzzier than it was pre-uploaded. // Low-key recording voices was fun aside from having to make sure the clips matched the voices and clicking of the mouse. // I’m still annoyed I couldn’t find the perfect snoring sound effect when Sage’s Connemara is sleeping and starts gliding away

Smoke Mirror- A little too much of a pause between text in the intro. // I love how I’m wearing a Halloween shirt because no other shirt matched with the blue of the hat except for the dress it came with THAT I GOT RID OF! 

Obsidian Mystery- I love the thumbnail for her training video. It’s so spooky and cool! Favorite thumbnail of the entire series right there. // Ironic that with the three Halloween horses I’ve had. The two with the upbeat music are the ones where Galloper was present that year. The one where Galloper was missing that October, the music was softer, generic Halloween music. Not intentional, but it works. Though the first Halloween training video still gets the trick-or-treats because it has nostalgic music. // Some text isn’t easily visible

Dark Warrior- The horse I wish I could name Secret Warrior cause that would make SO MUCH MORE SENSE than Dark Warrior, but here we are. // Since Warriors by Imagine Dragons was in a previous training video, I had to search for another song to fit the horse. I literally went through those anime character theme song videos to find one! That was a terrible jump cut of the song

Ember Flame- Coming Soon

[moistwithgender]

Monthly Media Roundup (April 2019)

April was a bit of a disaster month for me, and as such I didn’t get much of anything finished. Old wounds got reopened, I was sick all month, I had an unavoidably bad birthday, and a lifelong pet died. I didn’t engage with a lot of things, and mostly slept. I did play a lot of Breath of the Wild, but seeing as I didn’t finish that, I’m not including it yet. Here’s the things I did finish:

Games:

Blaster Master Zero (Switch): I actually first bought and finished this two years ago, and since the sequel has come out I decided to replay it with the Shovel Knight DLC character. While I genuinely like this game (I 100%’d it both times), I was not really in a good spot to enjoy this playthrough, and just kinda mindlessly pushed through it for nine consecutive hours, beating it in that single sitting. Playing as a DLC character removes the story, which is fine since they’re intended for replays, though I wonder if it added to my emotional disconnect. SK doesn’t receive fall damage, and so the precariousness of navigating the world outside of the highly-mobile tank doesn’t exist nearly as much, though the trade-off is that SK’s combat abilities in dungeons are hindered by an overall lack of range. The game is still rather easy, though, so I can’t say any particular level cadences or combat scenarios carved their way into my memory.

To the game’s credit, though, the things that are good about it are still good. If you have an attachment to the original NES game, or an interest in retro properties, or just want a nice, breezy platformer, it’s very good. It’s interesting in how it repurposes the altered plot of the US version of the original game (where it was its most popular), including even the plot of the little novelization that came out because Gotta Get Those Video Game Kids to Read Something. It has a fake out ending, and if you 100% the maps it unlocks a final map that is genuinely surreal enough to be the highlight of the game. Despite my sighing, it is a genuinely good time, and I’m very curious to play the new game, somewhat hilariously titled Blaster Master Zero 2.

Anime:

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I chewed through the last four episodes of this so that I could say I finally finished the season. I didn’t watch the post-season recap episode. TenSura (the abbreviation of the Japanese title, which I will use to refer to it because satisfyingly abbreviating the english title is impossible) is not a very good show, but for about half the length of the 24-episode first season, it fascinates due to how it functions at all. TenSura is an isekai show, much like the other isekai shows, where a person dissatisfied with their life is brutally murdered (usually by a truck. USUALLY by a truck) and is reborn in a fantasy world that coincidentally gives them an absurd advantage over other people, allowing them to live out all the decadence they felt they deserved in the real world. If this sounds like the most boring kind of wish fulfillment possible to you, that’s because it is. It’s also extremely popular with consumers. Which is interesting! I think the isekai boom is indicative of how late-stage capitalism everyday people the world over, that we envision or escape to worlds where your efforts actually return appropriate reward. A bonkers concept, to be sure.

In TenSura, the formula doesn’t stray much. The main character is a man in his 30s (?) who has never fucked and gets knifed to death while HEROICALLY saving a coworker from a plot-irrelevant stabber dude who was running down the sidewalk with his knife out for no reason besides Main Character Needs an Inciting Incident Now. It’s actually pretty weirdly violent for the start to a show that is almost entirely light-hearted. Dude dies, his coworker dumps his hard drive in the bath out of respect (lol), and he wakes up in a fantasy world that works on videogame logic, including loot, skill trees, and class upgrades. He is reborn as an adorable slime a la Dragon Quest, but the personality traits he had in his previous life (and I guess his choice of dying words) scan to obscenely convenient passive abilities that ensure he’s not only invincible, but will never stop experiencing exponential power growth. Also he immediately makes friends with a final boss-level dragon and then eats him. That’s how he makes friends in this sometimes.

I’m being very cynical here, but the core narrative loop (and it IS a loop) of the series kept my interest for longer than I expected. Rimuru (the name of the reborn protagonist) goes somewhere he hasn’t been, astonishes the nearby (sometimes violent) inhabitants with his overpowered abilities, makes friends with them, and then improves their lives with community. Goblins, direwolves, orcs, demon lords. It stacks and builds upon itself to absurd degrees but it’s interesting that in a genre loaded with very problematic stories of disenchanted dudes finally getting the underage harem they’ve always wanted (aaaaAAAAAAAAA) that the main concept of this series is improving the lives of others and giving them closure for the ways life has hurt them. Even if. Sometimes that hurt was the main character’s doing? Like Rimuru absolutely decapitates a direwolf leader and then adopts the pack who from then on absolutely LOVE the dude. Also one of Rimuru’s abilities is that if he gives a monster a name, it class upgrades, which is generally and reasonably seen as a life improvement. Though, these class upgrades are almost always decidedly “less-tribal” or outright human, which smacks of some imperialist thinking. It’s also something I’m sure I never questioned in old videogames growing up. Meanwhile, there’s also a bit with a woman who came from Japan during that one really bad war, you know the one, and the closure she’s given as she’s dying is handled with actual delicacy. It’s a weird series! It’s only a shame to me that after most of the first season, there was less to talk about. Sometime after the halfway mark, you realize the show is never going to maintain tension for more than half an episode, that all problems are solvable (yes, even terminally ill children), and that the show isn’t going anywhere you can’t predict. It’s a checklist show, and the plot points are a list of achievements being checked off one episode at a time.

I don’t think I would actually recommend the show to most people, despite how popular it is. It’s not a great show, but it does weird enough things for a while that it generates conversations. Which is honestly pretty okay. It’s a pretty okay show. Also, Rimuru is effectively nonbinary (with he pronouns), and that’s… somethin’! (24 episodes, finished 4/17/19, Crunchyroll (Funimation also now has the dub I think? Clips I saw were pretty weird, Rimuru seemed to be characterized differently.))

Manga:

Nejimaki Kagyu Vol 1: You would think a manga that immediately starts with a reference to Phantom Blood would be, well, at least interesting.

Okay maybe invoking a beloved work doesn’t actually mean anything. I just wanted to share this blatant callback. Nejimaki Kagyu is a seinen manga about a highschool teacher whose tragically cursed to, uh, have all teenage girls fall in love with him. And the highschool-age childhood friend of his who has spent her whole life obsessed with him and learning super martial arts to defend his chastity. Her supers make her clothes explode.

…

I take no joy in this travesty.

Anyway, uh. The biggest tragedy here is that the art is actually really good, though the paneling is regularly squished around to hilarious degree. Let’s look at some pages and then forget this manga exists forever.

That horror face is how I feel the entire series should be portraying itself. The manga has a distinct lack of self-awareness.

The fan translation for this series appears to have dropped off halfway through and hasn’t been picked up for years, and based on reviews I saw on MAL talking about the directionlessness of the later volumes, I wonder if the translator got fed up with the series. Oh well!

Kyou no Asuka Show Vol 1: Oh god damn it I just got done with talking about a series about ogling the youth.

BLEASE STOP

Okay so. Kyou no Asuka Show, or “Today’s Asuka Show” is an older slice of life manga by the same author I mentioned previously who is doing an edutainment series about people working in a condom factory. Innocently-minded women in comedically lewdish situations appears to be his whole bag. I think Asuka is pretty charming, but I also know she’s designed to appeal to my monkey male gaze. Obliviously sexy is very much a mood, and in a more adult context I would be all for it. There have been a few chapters where I find myself at odds with the wisdom the author is attempting to impart, sometimes through Asuka’s father, who works as an adult photographer, and doesn’t want his daughter involved in anything that could cause her to be ogled. Like, that’s already something that requires a lot of unpacking in the modern day. Aforementioned wisdom sometimes takes the form of Asuka doing something stupid and innocent and ripe for objectifying, like wearing a school swimsuit in a rainstorm. Or she’ll work a job as a cute girl courier and inadvertently turn a shut-ins life around. Situations where, if it were in real life, I’d think “wow that’s weird and charming,” but by being a work of intentional authorship, it inherently loses some of that innocence, and becomes something well-meaning but problematic. Is that the second time I’ve used the word “problematic” in this post? Is this 2014?

I may continue reading this, but I really can’t recommend it to most people I know in 2019 without several disclaimers and also without probably getting some side eye. I think it’s worth a couple chapters to feel out what its doing before you decide whether you can siphon the charm from it, or would rather move on to something else.

Me enjoying myself when this manga tries to suddenly get up to some shit.

Blue Period Vol 1: This is the last thing on my list, because I don’t want to expand this list beyond the three mediums I’ve already assigned to it. Also, I actually finished this May 1st, but I wanted to talk about it now.

If I had the power to actually get people to engage with a specific work once per month, Blue Period would easily be the one I pick. That doesn’t mean as much when all the other things I finished this month were conflicted experiences, but I really think everyone would benefit from this series. Or at least anyone with even a passing interest in visual arts.

Blue Period (named for Picasso’s Blue Period) is about a highschool delinquent who has a knack for studying, a safe social life, and no interests in pretty much anything. He’s on the road to do fine in his life, and he doesn’t question it much, but that’s it, until he discovers art and realizes it’s the only way he’s ever been able to truly communicate his feelings. It changes everything about him, for more emotionally satisfying reasons, but also riskier ones. He only has one year of highschool to go to decide what he’s doing with his life, and Japan has a very strict education system. You’re not really allowed to just “get around” to things.

Apologies in advance if you’re tired of me spamming full pages but I really do wanna show this off. This is another series with an educational angle to it, though the emphasis is definitely more rooted in a personal narrative of growth. The explanations of art practice and the functionality of exercises and tools are both very informative and relevant to the characters, never feeling like the story is taking a backseat to explain. The characters are, hilariously, everyone I’ve ever met in an art class. There’s the kid who would rather exclusively draw the things they like, there’s the kid who likes art as a hobby but haaaates being given a project, etc etc. There are students who have an innate grasp on how to draw but haven’t internalized the Why of the exercises, and students who are receptive to the lessons but don’t have the ability to match. The narrative is extremely even-handed towards all of these different levels of skills, and places a lot more importance on why, emotionally, you should totally care about drawing apples and water pitchers for five hours at a time. It’s GREAT and I want to force it on every creative I’ve ever known.

Another thing I appreciate about this series so far is that while there has been something resembling sexual/romantic tension, it’s kind of not like that at all? In the first volume I haven’t been able to pinpoint where a potential relationship subplot would go, if at all. Two possibilities are this girl:

...who is a very likable character but surprisingly doesn’t fit into that box of “standard love interest”. The protag’s interactions with her have been exclusively respectful and admiring, which doesn’t even necessarily imply a romantic subplot, but would be pretty cool if it did? And the other girl:

...who is featured in decidedly more sexual tension-y contexts, is actually TRANS. The manga actually portrays them so uncompromisingly feminine that I didn’t realize they were crossdressing (the term used in the text) until the author’s notes at the end of the volume. I will partially blame this on me being out of it this month, since I just went back to their introduction and yep, they got misgendered and contested it. Given how the character is regularly framed (confident, attractive, skilled, nonstereotypical), I’m… pretty okay with this! If a romance blooms between a delinquent boy and a trans girl, that’s amazing.

I hope y’all understand where I’m coming from in expecting a shoehorned romantic subplot. I’m not hoping for one, I just know the product by now. And if it happens, the options are considerably more interesting than usual.

These are pretty good kids.

Manga licensing is a lot better nowadays than it ever was before, with lots of obscure series being picked up, old series getting re-localized, and translations being better than ever. I really really want this series to get licensed so someone can be compensated for it, and so more people might read it. Until then, I think you should look up the fan work.

---

So that’s all for April. If these posts included live-action movies, I’d have talked about Endgame, but I also don’t want to go spoiling anything for someone who still wants to go see that (it’s probably one of my favorite MCU movies, though). I read most of 1970-71 in Marvel comics, or at least most of the issues on my reading list, but I semi-liveblog about those, so you can just search my “curry reads comics” tag for that. Here’s hoping I have more interesting, more positive things to say about May in a month. I expect to finish Breath of the Wild by then, so I’ll finally talk about that. Thanks for reading, if you made it this far! Go check out Blue Period.

[the-static-silence-of-pastels]

Married At First Blood — Play on Married At First Sight,

Other names may include: The Internet Ordained Minister Virgil, Minister Virgil, “I Do” Not, How Virgil Became an Ordained Minister Online and What Came of it, The Wedding of The Century (That Didn’t Really Happen), Why Roman and Logan Don’t Trust Virgil When He Asks Them to Do Things Anymore, Married Before Bloodshed. (Other title ideas may be added when thought of)

Virgil becomes an ordained minister online, thinking nothing of it and just having watched a video about someone who did. This becomes almost comically convenient as the next week Logan and Roman break out into the worst fight they’ve ever had. With little time to spare, Virgil mumbles out what he knows of the wedding pledges, then asks Logan and Roman to both say “I do”, pronouncing it an experiment to calm his nerves as they’re rapidly rising. Both feeling a little bad they both say it and Virgil just smirks, pronouncing them husband and husband, “you may now kiss the groom”.  It’s at that point two bands wrap around Logan and Roman’s ring fingers and where once they thought Virgil was just acting silly to keep calm, they now know he was serious. Logan immediately files for a divorce, slightly offending Roman to a degree, but Roman seconds it. Virgil says he won’t allow it until they stop arguing and gives them a sentence of six months married before he even thinks about allowing a divorce to be filed with him — the only ordained minister in the room, and the only one even remotely willing to go through with divorcing Logan and Roman since Patton is so happy and trying to find rice or something to throw (honestly he gave up and is now showering Logan and Roman in cookie crumbs and dry fusilli), Deceit and Thomas are just happy they’re not arguing. 

Their marriage goes just…just swimmingly. For about two hours. Then Logan leaves to go to his room and finds his room is now also Roman’s room and has a fit over it, blaming Roman for merging their rooms which kicks off another bout of arguing. While they do that Virgil and Patton calmly sip at hot chocolate and gently contemplate whether it needs more milk or more marshmallows, they decide on both. 

After their argument is somewhat over, Logan having lost his voice and Roman wheezing so bad he’s had to drop to his knees to breathe properly, Logan strips to pyjamas and hops into bed, calling out hoarsely that he was there first and therefore Roman is sleeping either on the floor or on the couch, Logan doesn’t care where so long as they’re not in the same bed together. Roman agrees but wants the bed to himself, they fight again, each trying to get the bed until Virgil yells at them to be quiet and go to sleep and they come to the consensus of a pillow barrier, broken down halfway through the night when Roman can’t sleep because of slight insomnia and decides to get up and watch movies in the living room with a pile of pillows. He gets back just in time to see Deceit gently hushing Logan back to sleep, and is concerned for his fellow side. Deceit is able to convey that Logan has nightmares often, though he refuses to admit it, and Deceit is the only one he’s been able to trust with that information, since it is extremely hard for him to convey the truth at times, leading to Deceit being the one to wake him up and calm him down before hushing him back to sleep. Roman asks softly if Deceit would like him to do it, not really wanting Logan to go to the other side when he could have leaned on Roman all those years he had nightmares, Deceit accepts and tells Roman that without his glasses Logan won’t know who is with him — a blessing and a curse — so he could get lashed out at for trying to help, or he could get Logan crying into the pillow for hours on end. 

As it turns out Roman talks to Logan later when he’s awake, asking if he’d like Roman to help with his nightmares, promising to protect him from them. Logan is a little hesitant, but agrees seeing Roman so adamant about helping him and it comes back around when Roman is watching a movie and gets scared that night, needing Logan to hold his hand before he starts to calm down and stop imagining monsters in every corner or that he heard a creak outside the door. The pair sleep soundly that night, Roman waking only once to hold Logan through a nightmare. 

A week passes and they’re getting along surprisingly well, Roman keeping Logan’s nightmares a secret and Logan staying up with Roman to watch horror films and help him through them. Their arguments are less about who is better and more about if Mulan could beat a grown Merida in a fight and who would win what events. Of course, their arguments always come around, but the build is slow and the tension is never there anymore, both refusing to partake in it for the entertainment of their audience when it’s asked for in a script. And while this is happening Roman writes stories for Logan as bedtime stories, reading them out dramatically to help ease Logan’s nightmares. Logan, meanwhile, offers an idea — they watch the horror movie Roman wants to watch earlier on and then finish up with a Disney film to get Roman’s mind off the movie and then finish the night up with pictures of cats before Roman reads the story and they turn in for the night. 

Things seem to be getting better before a script they’d planned months ago goes through and ends up giving both of them nightmares — one where Deceit takes over Logan’s position for a few minutes in order to try and gain favour by suggesting that he’s a better logic than Logan is, which is something Roman (acting) agrees with but Virgil and Patton voice concerns and are able to show Roman that they are all needed — but it brings up concerns that Logan is inadequate, and, on Roman’s side, that Roman thinks Logan can be replaced which he knows isn’t true and makes him feel like a villain. They split up awkwardly, Roman saying that Logan can take the bed while he takes the couch. It ends with both unable to sleep and eventually Logan enters the living room, gets a drink of water, downs it in one go, and slips onto the tiny patch of cushions, bumping his head against Roman’s. They make eye contact and silently agree that they’ll never leave one another like that again, choosing to clasp their hands together and fall into sleep together. (Found later that morning by Virgil and Patton who take a few photos and decide not to bring it up, but Virgil takes some really aesthetically pleasing pictures of their left hands clasped together with their rings on show which Patton makes his home screen background.)

A day or so passes and they don’t really talk, just have silent conversations with their eyes and body language. But for once Roman makes Logan laugh and it makes his whole day hearing that, even if it was due to Roman slipping down the last two stairs while in socks and bumping down the rest to the floor with a soft moan of pain, he isn’t hurt too bad (minus his ego but that gets a huge boost when he sees Logan actually smiling and laughing). Logan asks if he’s okay and Roman says only his ego is a bit bruised, and Logan says without thinking too much that it’s a pity he can’t kiss Roman’s ego better. Roman says he can and they both blush before Logan pecks him on the cheek and leaves to go do some work. Roman stands in the kitchen for around half an hour, just gently rubbing his cheek with a small smile. Then Virgil walks in and reenacts an old video with him —

“The heck is that? What the heck is that a hecking smiling Roman? Eh, don’t hecking smile like that, that’s a weird looking hecking smile. Pat, yo there’s a weird looking Roman in the kitchen! I don’t want it starting a fight with Logan! Logan it’s okay” *kissing noises* “It’s okay Logan don’t worry about it. Pat! Pat, there’s a weird hecking smiling Roman in the kitchen it looks- it looks like Roman but smiling the hecking thing. Oh, hey get the heck out of here, I don’t even know if that’s hecking Roman. Blink, mothertrucker.”

“Virge what in good Athena?” *moves and looks at Virgil*

“Ahhhhh!”

(for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuC-y-SYqi8 )

This reference goes over both Logan’s and Patton’s heads, but Roman gets it and chases after Virgil for making him Wilfred Warrior, “This Stray Cat Looks Like Grandma”, when he clearly is not. But it’s enough to get a little laugh out of Logan which makes Roman stop in his tracks completely like the roadrunner — running, running, running, complete stop in naught-point-one seconds. 

About a day passes and, honestly, things are just like normal except there’s not as many arguments and disagreements. Logan and Roman just have a genuinely lovely relationship and it’s wonderful, marvellous really. But then someone has to throw a wrench in the gears and that someone isn’t Deceit or Virgil or Thomas, but Patton. See now, Patton didn’t mean to, but he was talking to a very sleep deprived Roman and Roman mentioned Logan’s nightmares, so Patton got concerned because “my child is having nightmares and didn’t tell me” so he gets into a weird emotion spiral of sad and concerned because “does he not trust me? What did I do wrong? How can I rectify this?” and ends up asking Logan the next morning if he had a good night and then asks how his nightmares are and if there’s anything he can do to help, unbeknownst to him Roman had been sworn to secrecy about it and wasn’t supposed to tell anyone. This revelation that Patton knows about his nightmares points Logan to Roman and he is so angry that Roman told Patton about something so secret and private because Patton said it in front of Virgil so not only does Patton know but Virgil too. Logan doesn’t leave their room for the entire day and locks it to spite Roman who just wants to talk things over but is getting less patient by the minute. In the end, Logan decides to reconcile but Roman has moved past it and doesn’t want to, not thinking about it and calling Logan a child for not confronting his fears, regretting it immediately because now Logan looks betrayed, hurt and sad, not even angry at him just so done with him. Roman admits he was wrong, but the damage is done and Logan refuses once again to come out of their room until Roman is at the door begging on his hands and knees (though Logan didn’t open the door for him but for Virgil who said he needed to talk to Logan about something). He tells Logan everything, Patton apologises for taking in the information and spreading it without asking Logan about it in private first, and Logan apologises for not hearing Roman out before then. 

Though they say they trust each other and forgive one another, Logan seems to not fully trust Roman as he once did, and while it may not be completely Roman’s fault he understands that Logan needs time and is happy to allow that. But it takes its toll on both of them, Roman wanting Logan to trust him but not being able to gain that back through any means, and Logan not being able to tell Roman when something is wrong or when he has a nightmare. And that blows up in their faces when Logan has a particularly nasty nightmare, Roman watched a long line of horror movies, and neither can get to the other when they’re needed most — both paralysed by fear even though they can feel the fear that the other is putting off. But they manage to overcome it and both meet at the top of the stairs, each nearly in tears but so thankful the other is there and okay that they forget the tears and just hug it out. Before they support one another back to the bed and curl up against one another close enough they’re sharing breathing space, which is usually something they don’t do because personal space, but right then and there they don’t care and just need the comfort the other side presents. 

There are a few slip-ups eventually, when things settle back down once more — a moment where Deceit and Logan are looking over pictures of the “wedding” (they might have stolen an album from Patton to have a look at weddings they’d been to and what the ideal one for them would be) and Roman maybe gets a little jealous and defensive, but it’s sorted out extremely quickly when Logan confronts him and tells Roman that he’s jealous, Roman accepts he might have been and they discuss why he was and how to remedy the problem. Something similar happens with Logan a week later where Roman promised to take Logan with him on an adventure, but ended up taking Virgil instead which angered Logan because “you promised and yes I know I couldn’t make it but why did you have to go with anyone anyway, questing is stupid, you’re stupid, no you’re not but I’m emotionally unstable in here”. Roman helps him work through it by showing him that there is no “extra special” relationship between himself and Virgil, rather he needed someone and Logan couldn’t go because of his duties and while Roman would have preferred not to go along with the closest thing to the bane of his existence since before they learned Virgil’s name and had his arc, he still prefers Virgil over Deceit. To make up for both feeling so jealous they have a night out in Roman’s second room, a picnic under the stars that is followed by several comedy movies and a few romcoms. 

There is the idea buzzing around that things will get really awkward when Thomas begins dating again, but when eventually they find someone Thomas likes it turns out to not be that big of a deal. Since their relationship is mainly platonic, they have no problem with one another mooning slightly over another male in the vicinity and when eventually said male turns them down and breaks their collective hearts, this ends up strengthening the relationship between Roman and Logan since they have one another to go to for comfort and this works splendidly for Thomas’ mental and emotional health (about the same for physical though). It does bring up old memories and after looking through the man’s Instagram they see he’s recently gotten together with a very handsome man who at present appears to be studying astrophysics, which kind of crushes both Roman and Logan. Roman due to the sheer looks department and the fact the two look so happy together, and Logan due to the fact the other man is studying astrophysics, so — according to him at least — the other man is much smarter than they are which is supposed to be Logan’s forte. They comfort one another, Logan assuring Roman that looks don’t truly matter in the grand scheme of things and that, eventually, they’ll find someone they want to be with too, and Roman comforting Logan and assuring him that he’s plenty smart. It begins to escalate a little though, before they flashback to a time when they thought their issues were more important than the others; when Roman thought not being handsome enough for someone was more important than Logan’s worries over not being smart enough, and vice versa. That calms them down and they’re able to get a grip and come together over the issues they face, chiding themselves for thinking they’re not who they want to be. 

At some point, they have to go to a real wedding and Logan’s eyes light up at the same time as Roman’s, they turn to one another and they share the same train of thought - “I want that.” So they plan a proper wedding from the flowers and napkins down to what they want to wear and, surprise among surprises, Logan decides to wear a wedding dress - “I’ll never get to wear one again, they’re unprofessional to work in, so I might as well try it out at least” - and Roman plans to do up his normal outfit with some other touches that make him look a lot like a naval officer in formal getup, even though he was going more for a fairytale prince aesthetic. It upsets him a little to he asks Logan whether he can wear a half cape in red, Logan really doesn’t care all that much but does ask Roman for advice on what material he should make his dress out of. Yes, they are imaginary so yes they can make their own outfits from scratch. They’re actually surprised by the skill and competency of one another when they finally have to do their vows in front of a very grumpy, but still happy, Virgil whilst Patton waits on the sidelines with rice like an assassin who just wants to throw rice over people. They do their vows and as part of their schtick Roman stops the wedding for just a moment to offer up a small bouquet of blue roses to go with the “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue” - the other items are; the ring from when they first married (old), the dress Logan made (new), and three “borrowed” items from the other sides (Virgil made his shoes, Patton made his veil, and Deceit embroidered gold into the train he made for Logan - not exactly borrowed but they don’t really care). In the end, Logan does throw the bouquet but before the other three can quarrel over who is catching it, Roman grabs it and smirks. The bouquet is taken apart and the flowers are dried and pressed to go into an album of the wedding - made mainly by Deceit and Patton with Virgil doing much of the photography. They gift it to Roman and Logan after their “honeymoon” phase (they spend a few days in their bedroom just sleeping in and eating whatever they want before binge watching movies they both want to see). The album goes up on a special shelf above their bed with a framed photo of all of the sides at the wedding and the last of the bouquet sitting inside a glass bell jar with a white ribbon around the handle. A nice little reminder that this time they consented to getting married and had fun with the concept.

(I had way too much fun googling wedding dresses so imagine a white dress - long, with either an A-line or a princess/ballgown skirt - backless with a few pieces of lace (either alençon or venise) around the edges of the opening, sleeveless (sweetheart neckline with the possibility of an illusion neckline) with a defined but lowered waistline, and a few golden leaves and branches decorating one side of the waist and one side of the top of the dress, along with a few around the bottom of the dress. Either radzmir, mikado or tulle as the skirt with the traditional three layers and an underskirt made of satin, but this would be an optional part of the dress. For the bodice; either pure white radzmir or mikado, perhaps satin, either something that’s a depature from the tulle or somehting that connects seamlessly from the bodice to the skirt. The train would have to be either be between a court train and a chapel train, or practically non-existent (he could pull off a watteau train but he’d need to add sleeves, possible cap sleeves, but sleeves nonetheless. The veil would be either an Elbow Wedding Veil (roughly 32″) or a Fingertip Wedding Veil (roughly 38-40″) with gold flowers and leave embroidered around the bottom (because Deceit can be extra like that) and held in place with either a nude/brown headband or a crown of gold leaves and flowers (because we like gold very much, it is pleasing to the eye). A pair of 3″ white heels with some gold lace covering the white (if he’s feeling up to it) or a pair of 3″ white heels with white lace and fake diamond studded flowers. If we’re going less gold and more silver/white/diamond-y change all the gold to white with a few fake diamonds.)

[dramaticwrites]

Mood Rings (4/6)

Title: Mood Rings

Chapter: 4/6

Fandom: DCU

Pairing:  Jason Todd/Roy Harper

AO3:  HERE

Note: Oh wow it took me less than a year to post this...I’m getting better at this.  Also note I even have the rest figure out.  Though there may or may not be a follow up. 

Summary:  Jason just wanted to eat some cereal not explain to a grown man that a mood ring is not an engagement ring.  

“You know,” Roy said, his head rolling over to look at Jason.  “I’m kinda thinking maybe we should get a wedding singer for our wedding.  Do you think we can get one that looks like Adam Sandler?”

It was Friday night, and for some odd reason that had become movie night for Roy and Jason.  Jason wasn’t even sure when they started the tradition or when he started to actually look forward to their quiet Friday night tradition.  It wasn’t even a causal enjoyment but rather something that he looked forward to all week.  Usually if he was in charge of picking the movies he would spend all week thinking of what horror, and he did mean horror, he was going to put Roy through that week.  If he was in charge of picking out the food he would go back and forth about where to get take out from and always planned on getting some sweet treat that he would pretend he just casually saw on the way home and absolutely did not order in advance.

This Friday it as Jason’s turn to bring the takeout, in this case tacos with tres leche cake from the new bakery on the corner that Roy keep talking about trying.  They had spread a large blanket across the floor of the living room and stacked pillows against the couch as almost a makeshift picnic.  In the middle of the blanket was Jason’s seriously outdated laptop that Tim begged him to let him upgrade every single time he stopped by.  But they had Roy’s larger desktop that they used for actual work, the laptop was more for watching stupid animal videos on nights where both of them were too caffeinated to actually sleep.

“Remind me again why we are having movie night on the floor with a laptop instead of on the couch with the TV?”  Jason asked as he poured some more salsa on his taco.  

“Don’t you remember last Sunday you knocked it over and snapped the cord?”  Roy remind him, entering the room with a rather large stack of movies.

“I thought you were going to fix it?”  Jason said as Roy sat down spreading out his collection of movies next to him.

Roy laughed. “I’m so glad you have total faith in my handy man abilities, I know that’s why you’re marrying me.”  Jason gave him a pointed look, which just made Roy laugh harder.  It wasn’t worth his breath to remind him they were engaged every time he brought it up.  “But no, I was busy picking out the movies for this week.  So we will have to do this the old fashioned way.”

“I’m pretty sure the TV is the old fashioned way,”  Jason reminded him.  “So if it took you all week does that mean you came up with something that would top my night of The Room and The Disaster Artist?”  That was a night Jason was quite proud of, awful movies that Roy and him spent the whole time mocking ruthlessly.

Giving a small bow of his head, “I will never be able to beat your mastery”  Roy conceded.  “But I offer you a choice of five movies.”  

“I get a choice?”  Jason asked, narrowing his eyes, “Why?  What’s the catch?”

“You brought me cake?”  Roy responded with more of a question.  “I thought it would be fun?  I love you?  Take your pick.”

Jason rolled his eyes at Roy, “What are my options?”

“Okay so here we go.”  He said gleefully spreading out five boxes before him.  “We got Wedding Crashers, Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates, Four Weddings and a Funeral, The Wedding Singer, and My Big Fat Greek Wedding.”

Jason let out a groan.  He should have known there would be a catch.  “Do you have anything without the word ‘wedding’ in it.”  Spitting out wedding like it was a curse word, and not one of the fun ones like fuck or shit.

“Nope.”  Roy said far too cheerfully for someone who ruined Jason’s favorite night of the week.  

It was a toss up between trying to out stubborn Roy by being silent or picking a movie and getting it over with.  It was times like these Jason really hated that Roy was almost as much of a stubborn bastard as him.  “Fine.” Jason said drawing it out.  “I guess The Wedding Singer.”  

It was also times like these Jason really wanted to hit the smug grin off his face as he put in the movie.  “You know I didn’t expect you to go for the down right romantic comedy.  I like seeing this side of you.”

“Next week I’m renting the Human Centipede and I’m going to lock my door that night so you can suffer.”  Jason swore but there was very little heat behind the words.  Roy could easily take off his door in the dark, or at least that's the excuse Jason would give when he didn’t lock his door because the Human Centipede thing was definitely happening.

“Whatever you say Jaybird.” Roy said, as he put the movie in and leaned over Jason to grab a taco.  “For now we have a night of lovely wedding movies to watch.”

Four tacos later and an hour later, the two had moved onto the cake.  Not bothering to actually cut it, the two each just casually dipped their fork into the giant cake between the two of them.  It saved time on dishes, or at least that was Roy’s suggestion and after all the tacos it didn’t sound bad.

“You know,” Roy said, his head rolling over to look at Jason.  “I’m kinda thinking maybe we should get a wedding singer for our wedding.  Do you think we can get one that looks like Adam Sandler?”

“No,”  Jason said plainly before turning back to the movie.

“I guess they don’t have to look like Adam Sandler.”  Roy mused.  

“We are not hiring a wedding singer because we’re not getting married.”  Jason said not taking his eyes off the movie.  “Maybe if you’re nice and stop mentioning this wedding stuff I’ll get you one for your birthday.”  

“Absolutely not.”  Roy said, putting his hand to his chest.  “I mean I think a wedding singer would be funny but if you want a DJ I’m okay with that too.  After all, it is your wedding too.”  

“No its not.”  Jason said firmly.

“Sure it is.”  Roy said leaning into Jason, resting his head on his shoulder and looking up with a shit eating grin.  “After all, all I care about is marrying you.  I’d be find doing it in a dump with seagulls as our witnesses.”

“Keep holding your breath.”  Jason muttered, trying to shrug Roy off his shoulder only to have it come back like a boomerang.  After a second attempt he figured it wasn’t worth the effort.  

As the movie got near the end  Jason felt like adding.  “Shit like this is why you’re better off with a DJ.”  

“Then we will get a DJ.”  Roy hummed, his eyes closed as he leaned against Jason’s arm.  

“We’re not getting married.”  Jason reminded him.

“Tell that to the DJ I’m hiring.”  Roy teased followed by a groan.  Roy was definitely going to be subjected to Human Centipede need week.  Maybe he could convince Roy to invite Dick to join them, it would look less suspicious if Roy did the inviting.  

[obsessive-fics]

Title: too late to be getting afraid

Rating: T

Summary: Dan's freaked out being home alone after playing Outlast. Almost as if on cue, Phil calls

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: This was was written to fill the prompt “Spooky Week” on my @phandomficfests bingo card. I now officially have bingo! 

[Read on Ao3]

He knew this was a bad idea. The minute he hit record Dan knew this was a bad idea. But it was their first Spooky Week, and that meant a video every night, even if he had to scare the shit out of himself without the added comfort of another person being there. He managed to get through the game, and then practically tripped over himself running to turn the lights back on. He looked around the room- all the furniture was where it was supposed to be, there was nothing under the desk or floating in the window… He was completely alone.

He’d wanted to be completely independent this time. He could spend a few days by himself, he didn’t need Phil around to be his personal security blanket. But the house was bigger by himself, quieter, and he was starting to feel a little disappointed every time he opened up his cereal to find the exact amount he’d left in there. He did a liveshow after editing the video, which made him feel a little better- the familiar comfort of talking to an audience, but he couldn’t stay on YouNow forever.

Dan continued his plan of turning on every single light in the house, and turned on the tv to fill the silence. One of the old Halloween franchise movies was on, because it was October, and everyone was playing scary movies. And if he wasn’t alone, it’d probably be fun to watch, and to make fun of all the special effects that hadn’t aged well. But as it was, there was a girl hiding in a closet, and the killer was closing in, and it suddenly felt like someone was behind him. Dan turned around quickly- no one was there, obviously, and scrambled to find where he’d put the remote.

Almost as if on cue, his phone rang.

“I’m fine,” he said in lieu of greeting, cradling the phone to his ear, and finally pulling the remote out of the couch.

“Well that was convincing. I just wanted to call you before I fell asleep,” Phil replied, and Dan could tell by his voice that that could happen any minute.

“You don’t have to check up on me. I’m an adult, I can be home alone,” Dan said, because his first defense was always petulance.

“I’m not checking up on you. I’m calling for entirely selfish reasons,” Phil replied, completely unphased.

“Oh… And those reasons are?” Dan wondered. Usually if Phil needed a favor he’d just text him, so he was curious to see what warranted a full phone call.

“I was telling my family a story, and I kept looking to my right so you could chime in. But you weren’t there. And then I realized how used to you being there I am. And that I don’t like it when you’re not there,” Phil told him, and his voice got progressively softer as it went on, and Dan missed him so, so much.

“I want to make fun of you, but I just finished recording a gaming video, and I was definitely doing the same thing,” Dan admitted after a second.

“Well, it’s good to know you miss me too,” Phil teased, and Dan could hear the smile in his voice.

“Don’t get too full of yourself, now. I’m eating all the cereal before you can come back and steal it,” Dan replied.

“Do you wanna Skype?”

“Ah, so that’s why you called. And here I thought you actually missed me,” Dan said, pretending to be offended.

“Shut up, that’s not what I meant. People do skype just to talk you know.”

“I know. Let me get my laptop.”

Five minutes later, Dan was settled in his bedroom and the Skype call was connecting.

“So how was Outlast?” Phil asked. He was sitting in his childhood bedroom, wearing his t-shirt with the ghosts on it and cookie monster pajama pants.

“It was fucking terrifying, Phil. Our electricity bill is gonna be insane, cause I’m not turning any lights off until you come back,” Dan told him, and he was partially kidding, but he was also fully planning on not leaving his room until morning.

“So I’m guessing you don’t want to have that horror movie marathon when I come back?”

“No, we’re definitely doing that. It’s Halloween, it’s our favorite time of the year,” Dan pointed out immediately. Sitting in the dark with popcorn and candy making fun of scary movies was not only one of their favorite things to do, it was a tradition.

“There are some things I’ll never understand about you,” Phil said, laughing fondly, and as well as they knew each other Dan kind of liked that that was still true.

“You love me.”

“Obviously. You want me to stay with you until you fall asleep?” Phil asked, his entirely transparent way of being worried without letting Dan know he was worrying.

“If you can stay up that long,” Dan said, and Phil laughed.

“Shut up.”

“Tell me how everyone at home is doing,” Dan asked, and Phil launched into stories about his mum’s cooking, and playing board games with everyone, and finally beating Martyn at a video game they used to play when they were younger. By the time he got to talking about getting lost with his dad while they were going for a walk, the house didn’t feel empty anymore at all.

“Come home soon, okay? I’m never playing a horror game by myself again, you know,” Dan yawned. He was starting to have trouble keeping his eyes open.

“You won’t have to,” Phil told him softly. “I’ll be back before you know it, and maybe next time, you can come with.”

“Really?” Dan asked, slightly more awake now.

“Well, yeah. Everyone’s been asking about you nonstop. And I wouldn’t have to miss you if you were here,” Phil pointed out, shifting his laptop so he could lay down.

“And I wouldn’t be hiding in my room from the Blair Witch if I was with you,” Dan added, which made Phil laugh.

“Exactly. So you’ll come stay with us next time?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’ll come.”

“Good,” Phil yawned, and Dan could tell he was gonna be out any minute.

“Don’t forget to take your glasses off,” Dan said, and it was weird how you could miss something as mundane as taking your boyfriend’s glasses off when he falls asleep with them on.

“Mm. Love you,” Phil mumbled, and then he was asleep.

“Love you too, idiot,” Dan said quietly, but he didn’t hang up, and before long he was asleep too. And come morning? He hadn’t had a single nightmare.

[getmefandomcure]

Unexpected

A/n: hi! I promised this would come so heres part one! I changed the plot of Civil War a bit, by introducing Peter a little earlier to the group. You’ll figure it out over the course of the next chapters I hope. Well okay enjoy!! I would also really appreciate some requests in the mean time 😬 please check it out here!

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Warnings: none

__________________________________________

“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do!” You yelled at the television screen.

Your best friend started laughing: “What? You wouldn’t totally check out the scary sounds in your 100 year old attic?”

“Hell no, MJ. Even the ghost making that noice is shaking its head right now.”

You and Michelle Jones were watching a horror movie, one you found all the way down on Netflix and already didn’t look good when you started it, but you decided to watch it for laughs.

The credits started rolling. “This movie did not disappoint, it was amazingly terrible,” You said.

MJ stood up: “It definitely was, we need to do this again soon, but I should head home now, otherwise I’ll get killed.”

“Yea. No problem” you smiled at her.

“See you, Y/L/N.”

“See you, Jones.”

Once MJ left, you dragged yourself off the couch, you were so ready to nap. You made your way upstairs to go sleep. You got in you pyjamas and brushed your teeth, as you were getting into bed a text message came in.

Stark: New kid coming in tomorrow.

Reading that message gave you more energy than caffeïne. In just 3 seconds all of the tiredness had disappeared, you needed to know who was coming in. Right freaking now.

You opened up your computer and browsed through your homepage.

At the bottom it had a link to a file. You clicked it and it redirected you to blank screen only asking for a password. As soon as you gave it in a variety of documents popped up.

A while ago you had installed a program onto the Stark Industries network that allowed you to access almost every single one of Tony’s files. F.R.I.D.A.Y had noticed after a couple of weeks, but after you promised that you’d help them play out a prank on Tony, they agreed not to notify him.

You weren’t stupid, you knew Tony would find out at some point. No matter how smart you were, Tony would always catch up at some point, but for now you had access.

It only took you a few minutes to find what you needed. He had added a new person the list of people with access to the Avengers compound only hours ago. All of his information was blocked with security code you didn’t feel like overwriting right now. The only things you could see was a link to a public YouTube video, you opened it.

“Jackpot.” You whispered

“A SPIDER-MAN IN QUEENS, NEW YORK” the video title read.

——————————————————

The next day was a Saturday, Happy had come to pick you up at 8am, when you arrived at the compound you brought some of your stuff upstairs since you were spending the night.

You walked into the kitchen, Bucky was sitting at the table drinking coffee and eating a bowl of oatmeal.

“What’s up Barnes?”

“Oh hey,” he looked up with a smile on his face, “how are you doing kid?”

“Good,” you told him, “have you seen Tony?”

He shook his head, “No sorry, maybe ask F.R.I.D.A.Y..”

You grabbed yourself a bottle of water and a snack from the cupboard. “Any other updates?”

“Nah, not to my knowledge, there’s a rumour about a new hero though.” He told you.

Your lips twitched up into a smile “So I’ve heard. Alright, catch you later, Buck.”

“Yea, later!”

You walked back into the hallway and opened up the snack you took from the kitchen. You called out for F.R.I.D.A.Y.

“What can I help you with, Y/n?” They replied.

“Could you contact Tony for me?”

“Sure thing!”

Only a couple of seconds passed before the hall was filled with Tony’s voice.

“Yeah, hi. What’s up? Make it fast, I’m kinda busy.”

You scoffed at that, he so wasn’t. “I found the new recruit, you should protect your files better Stark. It’s Spider-man, right?”

“Damn it, F.R.I.D.A.Y run a full system check, find out how the kid knew.

I could surprise you for once. He’s a nice kid, your age.”

“Okay, well, when can I meet him.”

“Right now. Happy just brought him in, he’s in my office ”

You didn’t answer that and immediately turned around to make your way down to the office.

In a record time you made it there, you knocked on the door and could hear a distant “come in” on the other side. You opened the door.

“Oh hey, Y/n,” Tony was smiling at you, a bit too enthusiastic, “meet our new recruit.”

The boy started to turn around until you could see his face.

Your mouth instantly fell open “What the hell?!”

[bangtanhug]

im kinda disappointed with the new shane series...i started to watch it because of shane and ‘cause i loved the previous ones (especially the jeffree one) ... but my problem is that i think there is a big issue about what this series want to convey to the audience

the title is: “the mind of jake paul”   -> the content is the mixture of psychopath behaviour (questioing if  j.p is that or not)  + and the mixture of psychological problems wich with other youtubers probably deal. 

Now, let’s take a moment here....it might seems like it’s one big picture, but it’s actually three or four. Of course you can try to mash everything together, but to show a clear picture about what you want to say and show - sometimes you have to select and narrow your topics. It’s like when you write an essay/ or your diploma work - you have many thoughts and ideas at the beginning but as you start your research and you gather up information and other stuff- you slowly puts aside topics and focuses on one bigger mayor  questions. Now, I don’t know how the series will go - nobody knows - but it has 8 parts and so far it feels like we are at the researching part where we have no idea where we are heading ...so yeah, maybe i speak too early and it will really build up but so far i have no connection with the REAL topic which is the title of the series. Why? Because we should explore J.P’s mind but instead we try to explore the chategory which we put him from the first moment the journey has started.

My other problem is that - as many of you know - althought I can’t stand the whole  PAUL family and yeah, i question their mentality a lot and probably thought that they are sick or psycopaths....i still feel like that shane feeds the words instead of letting me, as an auidence decide: if jake paul is a psychopath or not. Also, i think he is being way too dramatic with the horror effect with the way he reacts - to the point that it kinds of annoying? or at least irritating a little bit? Makes me roll my eyes isntead of enjoying the content. I’m not saying it would be impossible to get chills and go: oh my god! by hearing how psychopaths behave but ...the way he just refers the dude, keeps dramatic pauses or how he freaks out every seconds- that’s just turn my interest down a little bit. 

I ranted how disgusted I was by the first episode because i didnt even know 80% of the pauls, so for me the first ep was actually interesting and mind blowing - like i really had a moment which made me questions the future of humans and teh mindset the youths live in etc etc ( and honestly i was totally shocked - for real).... but I expected a little bit more of the second episode? 

I know that he is building up the anticipation and tries to educate people about mental disorders but....how should i say it?...this...this just turns back to my first problem. I’m not sure if his way of approaching the whole controversial issue with Jake Paul was the right deicison. Because probably this video 1) wont clearly answer teh question of jake is psychopath or not  2) might come of as a defending video about how jake paul is a hurting human, being overshadowed by his brother, making others feel sorry for him which is like...you know... -.-  3) the topic mixture which i talked about also plays a role here, because psychopaths are a bigger issue than 40 minutes therapist talking  

also, it’s not that relevant that we immediately pushes the imagined frame on jake ( i know its shocking to say yeah, but  - and now listen because it can be helpful for research work later ->  when you examine the object of your hypothesis, you have to leave out of your own emotions and only added them into it when you summarize the gathered info and start to write your essay/ do your video etc; because when you write an essay for examply, after stating the facts you begin to bring your own opinon, your own ‘part’ of the hyphothesis - what you personally read/saw in the facts which you understood how you did it....) So yeah.....it’s still early to show my back to it ...and yeah, i started to watch the series with trying to leave outside my personal judgement and watch the series from pure audience view..... but yeah...im a little bit :/ ...you know what i mean? 

side note: nobody can convince me that the pauls are good people...the whole family has serioues issues there which for they can never completely apologize...like a life wont be enough and honestly what really bothers me with them is how unbothered, loud they are although they are so problematic and never learn from their mistakes

[nightmareonfilmstreet]

Let’s Try That Again; The 10 Best Horror Movie Remakes

The horror movie remake is a polarizing topic that drives the horror community crazy. You either love remakes, or hate them. Few horror movie re-imaginings have been able to rise above their “remake” branding. Too many fans chalking their existence up to exploiting a film or franchise’s existing fandom, being made purely for profit, being rushed, or re-envisioning iconic characters to a lesser extent.

Despite not being received with open arms, there are a select few remakes that stand above the pack – converting their audiences of naysayers into rabid fans, re-invigorating the franchise they birthed from. Here are our picks for the 10 best horror movie remakes!

  10. Friday the 13th (2009)

Against the advice of locals and police, Clay (Jared Padalecki) scours the eerie woods surrounding Crystal Lake for his missing sister. But the rotting cabins of an abandoned summer camp are not the only things he finds. Hockey-masked killer Jason Voorhees lies in wait for a chance to use his razor-sharp machete on Clay and the group of college students who have come to the forest to party.

  Alright, I may get a lot of flack for putting this one on the list. But I really do love the Friday the 13th remake. It’s over the top, it’s got everything you want in a slasher, and there’s exactly 13 kills. While it doesn’t hold a torch to the original from 1980, this 2009 remake directed by Marcus Nispel ain’t half bad. There’s some really fun kills and a bit of back story about Jason.

  9. Piranha 3D (2010)

Spring break turns gory when an underground tremor releases hundreds of prehistoric, carnivorous fish into Lake Victoria, a popular waterside resort. Local cop Julie Forester (Elisabeth Shue) must join forces with a band of unlikely strangers — though they are badly outnumbered — to destroy the ravenous creatures before everyone becomes fish food.

  Piranha 3D is the perfect summer film! The original was released in 1978 and was titled simply Piranha. In 2010 we got a 3D remake that took the thriller element from the original and added way more boobs. And humor. And blood. Piranha 3D is a cheesy gore-fest. Directed by Alexandre Aja, it has an all-star cast including Richard Dreyfuss, Christopher Lloyd and Jerry O’Connell. A great flick to watch in a group while vacationing at a lake. Just make sure to maybe check there’s not another lake under that lake.. filled with ancient piranhas.

  8. Quarantine (2008)

Reporter Angela (Jennifer Carpenter) and her cameraman Scott (Steve Harris) are doing a story on night-shift firefighters for a reality-TV program. A late-night distress call takes them to a Los Angeles apartment building, where the police are investigating a report of horrific screams. The TV team and emergency workers find an old woman, who suddenly attacks with teeth bared. What’s more, Angela and company find that the building has been sealed by CDC workers. Then the attacks really begin.

  [REC] (2007) is a Spanish found footage film directed by Jaume Balagueró. The film is absolutely terrifying and exactly how found footage should be done. One year later came the American remake Quarantine, directed by John Erick Dowdle. Both films follow the exact same story, so there’s not a lot of surprises watching the American remake. Both films also set up for a bunch of sequels, some of which are really great. The American version stars Jennifer Carpenter in the lead role, who does a great job carrying the story. I won’t say much more because both of these films should be watched with no prior knowledge of the story. The first time I saw the ending was one of the few times I’ve screamed out loud while watching a horror film. I apologized profusely to my neighbors.

  7. Evil Dead (2013)

Mia (Jane Levy), a drug addict, is determined to kick the habit. To that end, she asks her brother, David (Shiloh Fernandez), his girlfriend, Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) and their friends Olivia (Jessica Lucas) and Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci) to accompany her to their family’s remote forest cabin to help her through withdrawal. Eric finds a mysterious Book of the Dead at the cabin and reads aloud from it, awakening an ancient demon. All hell breaks loose when the malevolent entity possesses Mia.

  Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead was originally released in 1981. A campy, low-budget film that became an instant cult classic. In 2013, Fede Alverez’s re-imagined the beloved story of Ash and his deadites, creating a darker, more sinister interpretation. One of the biggest changes, was opting for an incredible female lead played by Jan Levy.  The film is deliciously dark, and only embellishes the silly, zany palate of the Evil Dead Franchise.  There’s been a lot of chatter about a sequel being in the works, but nothing concrete.

  6. Willard (2003)

Desperate for companionship, the repressed Willard (Crispin Glover) befriends a group of rats that inhabit his late father’s deteriorating mansion. In these furry creatures, Willard finds temporary refuge from daily abuse at the hands of his bedridden mother (Jackie Burroughs) and his father’s old partner, Frank (R. Lee Ermey). Soon it becomes clear that the brood of rodents is ready and willing to exact a vicious, deadly revenge on anyone who dares to bully their sensitive new master.

  Willard was released in 1973 and the remake came years later to screens in 2003. It stars Crispin Glover in one of his best roles, and a crap tone of rats. Glen Morgan directed this awesome remake and fills it with everything you’d want in a terrifying situation about killer rats. Glover shines on-screen as a total weirdo and carries the film with perfection. If you weren’t scared of rats before, you will be after this flick ends.

  5. The Grudge (2004)

Matthew Williams (William Mapother), his wife, Jennifer (Clea DuVall), and mother, Emma (Grace Zabriskie), are Americans making a new life in Tokyo. Together they move into a house that has been the site of supernatural occurrences in the past, and it isn’t long before their new home begins terrorizing the Williams family as well. The house, as it turns out, is the site of a curse that lingers in a specific place and claims the lives of anyone that comes near.

  An American remake from the Japanese original Ju-On: The Grudge released in 2002. The remake, directed by Takashi Shimizu, the same person who directed the original, is terrifying. Back in the early 2000’s it was harder for North Americans to access J-horror and horror audiences were grateful for an accessible remake. Starring Sarah Michelle Geller in the lead role, she carries the story with grace. There’s so many memorable moments and jump scares. While I do recommend The Grudge, I say go crazy and watch both the original and remake one after the other. Have the pants scared off of you!

  4. The Fly (1986)

  When scientist Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) completes his teleportation device, he decides to test its abilities on himself. Unbeknownst to him, a housefly slips in during the process, leading to a merger of man and insect. Initially, Brundle appears to have undergone a successful teleportation, but the fly’s cells begin to take over his body. As he becomes increasingly fly-like, Brundle’s girlfriend (Geena Davis) is horrified as the person she once loved deteriorates into a monster.

  Originally released in 1958, it was a long time before The Fly remake came around in 1986. The original movie was adapted from a short story written by George Langelaan. The remake was directed by the always impressive David Cronenberg and starred Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis. Both brought insane performances to this movie which makes it such a great remake. Of course, it is Cronenberg, so…you know…don’t eat while you’re watching it.

  3. Dawn of the Dead (2004)

When her husband is attacked by a zombified neighbor, Ana (Sarah Polley) manages to escape, only to realize her entire Milwaukee neighborhood has been overrun by the walking dead. After being questioned by cautious policeman Kenneth (Ving Rhames), Ana joins him and a small group that gravitates to the local shopping mall as a bastion of safety. Once they convince suspicious security guards that they are not contaminated, the group bands together to fight the undead hordes.

  The original Dawn of the Dead was a fantastic, beautiful, groundbreaking film from Romero, released in 1978. The remake came in 2004, helmed by James Gunn and Zack Snyder. What stands out about this remake is how far they veer from the source material. But it works! The film boasts a strong cast featuring Sarah Polley, Ving Rhames, and Jake Weber, to name a few. There’s also some heart-breaking moments and genuine scares. Oh, and zombies. Lots of those.

  2. The Ring (2002)

It sounds like just another urban legend — a videotape filled with nightmarish images leads to a phone call foretelling the viewer’s death in exactly seven days. Newspaper reporter Rachel Keller (Naomi Watts) is skeptical of the story until four teenagers all die mysteriously exactly one week after watching just such a tape. Allowing her investigative curiosity to get the better of her, Rachel tracks down the video and watches it. Now she has just seven days to unravel the mystery.

  Another J-horror American remake. Ringu was first released in 1998 based on the book Ring by Koji Suzuki. In 2002, along came The Ring directed by Gore Verbinski. This was a huge deal for us teenagers in the early 2000’s and made us all terrified of our landlines. The Ring is beautifully shot and colored mystery. It’s a wonderfully done film. It stars Naomi Watts as the mother fighting to save herself and her child, played by David Dorfman.

  1. The Thing (1982)

In remote Antarctica, a group of American research scientists are disturbed at their base camp by a helicopter shooting at a sled dog. When they take in the dog, it brutally attacks both human beings and canines in the camp and they discover that the beast can assume the shape of its victims. A resourceful helicopter pilot (Kurt Russell) and the camp doctor (Richard Dysart) lead the camp crew in a desperate, gory battle against the vicious creature before it picks them all off, one by one.

  You didn’t think I’d make this list without The Thing did you? Come on! Originally titled The Thing from Another World and released in 1951, the remake was done by John Carpenter in 1982. The Thing is probably the one film everyone will agree on. It’s perfection on-screen. Giant, snowy, cold landscapes filled with unbearable tension and fear. An outstanding performance from all involved – but Kurt Russell stands out on top. Amazing practical effects and a terrifying premise, The Thing is the penultimate remake. They actually remade this again in 2011, but let’s not talk about that..

  Those are our picks for the 10 Best Horror Movie Remakes! Are any of your favorites on this list? If not, let us know what your favorite horror remakes are in the comments below, or over in our Facebook Group!

The post Let’s Try That Again; The 10 Best Horror Movie Remakes appeared first on Nightmare on Film Street - Horror Movie Podcast, News and Reviews.

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[closetofanxiety]

Nitromare: My God, We’re Really Doing This

Joe has returned to the Land of the Rising Sun, but Mark and I for some reason are committed to watching every Nitro of the Vince Russo Era, when WCW went beyond the point of no return in the battle against the WWF. Tonight we’re on the second week of the first Russo reign: October 25, 1999, from Phoenix, Arizona. Let’s soak up the horror!

We open with Sting, in street clothes, coming out to the ring to demand the presence of JJ Dillon, the kayfabe commissioner. Sting lost to Goldberg last night at Halloween Havoc, but says that match wasn’t for the title, and so Goldberg should not be the champ. Dillon says there’s going to be a tournament to determine the champ, so Sting beats up Dillon. Goldberg runs out to make the save, and in the scrum, Sting’s t-shirt remains impressively tucked into his jeans. Why are they trying to make Sting into a whiny, shitty bad guy? The most natural babyface in the company since Ricky Steamboat. People want to cheer for Sting. 

The first match of the tournament is Norman Smiley vs. Bam Bam Bigelow. It’s over in about five minutes, with Norman winning. I think it was a hardcore match?

Now the Filthy Animals come out to show video footage of them taking Ric Flair out into a desert at night and dumping water on him. I’m not sure why you’d film yourself committing a crime, but the 1990s were a different time. You know who Billy Kidman looks like? The singer for Missing Foundation. It’s uncanny. There’s footage on YouTube of that guy, Peter Missing, setting himself on fire at a show in Boston. 

Rey Misterio says the Filthy Animals are going to “hump” Harlem Heat “like the dogs we are.” OK? Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn are apparently outraged, perhaps on behalf of dogs, and they run out and start beating on the Animals with lead pipes. Shane Douglas and Asya come out and kidnap Torrie Wilson. 

Now we’re backstage with Mike Tenay and Curt Hennig. Is there any American wrestler whose career was more a story of thwarted promise than Mr. Perfect? He was so good at everything, but never really got the breakthrough, either because of injuries or working for the wrong company at the wrong time, or both. 

Kevin Nash and Scott Hall are hanging around backstage. Somewhat grimly considering what we know now, they’re drinking beer from a cooler. 

The next match in the championship tournament is Hennig versus Lash Laroux, a truly forgotten figure from the WCW era. His gimmick was that he was a Cajun. That was pretty much it, mes amis. While the match is going on, Disco Inferno comes out to do commentary with Tony Schiavone and The Brain. For some reason. Hennig gets DQ’d for hitting Laroux with a chair. Disco Inferno comes in to help Laroux, and gets beat up with the chair. The match lasts maybe three minutes. 

We’re back in the ring after a commercial break with Kim Page and Mean Gene talking about the Nitro Girl competition. This was a contest to find a new Nitro Girl that I think Stacy Keibler eventually won. We meet two more finalists, both local, and watch footage of them dancing as Disco Inferno looks on. Was he the judge? His whole gimmick was that he was a bad dancer. 

The Nitro Girls thing is interrupted by DOUBLE J himself, Jeff Jarrett, recently arrived from the WWF. He immediately says the championship tournament is “a big work,” which I’m sure sounded like a good idea if you were on cocaine. Jarrett is still wrestling today; he’s currently a titleholder in AAA. He’s had one of the most remarkable careers of any American wrestler, yet I’ve never really enjoyed him.

Another match in the It’s A Big Work Tournament. Perry Saturn vs. Eddie Guerrero, which in theory should be a great match. So far each match in this tournament has featured one wrestler who is no longer alive. There are empty seats on the hard camera side; Mark notes that the revamped WCW logo reminds him of the final flag of a soon-to-be-vanquished country.

The match is not great. A few decent spots, but then David Flair runs in and hits Eddie Guerrero with a lead pipe, allowing Saturn to get the win via the Rings of Saturn. It last six minutes. 

We’re backstage, and the Revolution have Torrie Wilson imprisoned in a backstage area. “This is a great hiding place; they’ll never find us!” exults Shane Douglas, in front of a camera crew. Chris Benoit arrives and locks most of the Revolution inside a caged area, allowing him to beat on Dean Malenko. Everyone is wearing what would today be classified as Mom Jeans. Wasn’t Benoit part of the Revolution? Eventually he’d jump to the WWF along with Saturn, Malenko, and Guerrero, as the Radicalz. You could tell they were extreme, because they scorned the letter ‘S.’

Hall and Nash walk out, wearing street clothes. “It seems these new bosses we got from up North can’t have a wrestling show without the Outsiders,” Hall says, in a reference to Russo and Ferrara that 99 percent of the audience wouldn’t understand. Nash is wearing a FUBU jersey. His meandering promo is interrupted by Goldberg, who is standing in the crowd, wearing his gear and holding a microphone. As one does. “You’re both next!” Goldberg says. Technically, they can’t BOTH be next, Bill.

Macho Man and Gorgeous George come out. I don’t know why her wrestling name was Gorgeous George, but she wasn’t the worst person to wear the mantle created by George Wagner. There were so many terrible Gorgeous Georges. Even in the twilight of his career, Savage is still a compelling, charismatic performer. “Don’t hunt what ya can’t kill, cuz ya can’t kill The Madness!” he cautions, adding “I ain’t no punk bitch!” He takes some shots at Hogan and Flair. Gorgeous George is chewing gum and looking a bit lost. “I got too much money in the bank to get punked out by punks like you!” Savage yells, although it’s still unclear to whom he’s referring. Then he says he and Gorgeous George are leaving. OK. 

The Filthy Animals are searching for Torrie backstage. How did they find Shane Douglas’ great hiding place?? But the Revolution have moved off to another backstage space to complain about how Chris Benoit beat Malenko’s ass. 

Next WCW title tournament match: Madusa vs. Meng. Oh God. Madusa looks legitimately unwell. Everyone who knows Meng is terrified of Meng. He’s like nuclear war. This is not a pioneering intergender matchup: none of Madusa’s offense is effective, while Meng just stands around and growls like an animal. Madusa wrestled Bull Nakano a lot, so this probably wasn’t the scariest opponent she’d faced. Meng wins in about four minutes with the Tongan Death Grip. Remember when it was a big deal that Madusa jumped to WCW with the WWF women’s belt? Boy, they sure made the most of that, didn’t they?

Evan Karagias comes out to help Madusa. “Isn’t he gallant,” Brain sneers, and for some reason he pronounces it “guh-launt” and it makes me laugh out loud. That’s how I’m pronouncing it from now on. 

Nothing stands still. Malenko comes out and challenges Benoit and then leaves. Russo’s WCW feels like experimental theater, right down to the destruction of the fourth wall and acknowledgement of artifice. 

Mark describes Hall and Nash as “two retirees going around, causing trouble,” and this is a perfect description of what they’re doing at this point. I’m omitting about half the backstage segments, because they all last about 45 seconds and seem meaningless. 

Lex Luger and Miss Elizabeth come out, everything we know about what would happen later making it very hard to enjoy any of this. I think this is a match in the title tournament? The WCW commentary team does not do nearly as much recapping as today’s WWE announcers, and it’s kind of baffling.

It’s Luger vs. Rick Steiner, and a shirtless Jeff Jarrett comes out to join in on commentary. “We saw your shtick in the WWF, we know you’d hit a woman,” Schiavone says. “This is not the WWF, this is the WCW, and I am the Chosen One!” Jarrett replies. Jarrett is upset that he is being blamed for hitting Liz last week. Jarrett tries to hit Luger with a guitar and gets Steiner instead. Jarrett runs off and Steiner follows him. The crowd seems bored and angry. Luger wins via count. The match was maybe three minutes long. 

Kidman and Konnan are backstage. Konnan calls the Revolution “mark busters.” I can’t look at Kidman without seeing Peter Missing. Have you ever heard Missing Foundation? It’s really challenging stuff. What a group they were.

Another title tournament match, this time between Kidman and Konnan, fellow Filthy Animals. There’s a ref bump 45 seconds into the match. Harlem Heat comes out and beat up Konnan and Kidman. Who’s getting humped now, gentlemen, hmmmm? Now Rey and Eddie come out to fight Harlem Heat. In the ring, Kidman gets the pin on an out-cold Konnan. The match lasted two minutes at most. The secret of Vince Russo is that Vince Russo is not a wrestling fan. 

Buff Bagwell’s in the ring and vowing to break all the rules. “I’m going to take every little thing that’s ever been sacred in this business and I’m gonna relieve myself all over it.” Then he says, “I’m not doin’ a J-O-B, a job, for nobody ever again!” He calls out “the two idiots in the back writing this crap,” which, Jesus. Two giant bald guys in suits com out who say “We represent the two idiots in the back writing this crap,” and then proceed to beat the stuffing out of Buffing. 

We’re back from commercial, and Chris Benoit is going to wrestle Dean Malenko in a Mom Jeans Beatdown. No, it’s a last man standing match, but they’re both wearing mom jeans, without belts. That really bothers me for some reason. This is a really good match, the only good one of the night so far. Not entirely surprising. There’s no way to reflect on Chris Benoit without the shadow of his hideous crimes hanging over everything, but for whatever it’s worth, he was one of the best wrestlers of his generation. He had a graceful ferocity and total commitment to what he did that very few wrestlers have ever matched. Benoit wins.

The Filthy Animals run out to beat on Malenko, then Shane Douglas and Asya come out with Torrie Wilson. Torrie Wilson is notably taller than her captor, Asya. They should’ve got Nicole Bass to be their Chyna-alike. Douglas kind of sucked, didn’t he?

Jimmy Hart comes out with Hugh Morrus and Knobs from the Nasty Boys. Was there a new Nasty Boys with Morrus in place of Sags? Or was Knobs moonlighting? I’ll tell you what: the Nasty Boys put together a surprising number of extremely fun matches. This is not one of them: Sting comes out with a baseball bat, beats down Knobs, and gets the pin. I guess this was a no DQ match?

One thing to remember in the Nitromare: nothing has to make sense.

We’re backstage with Tenay and Bret Hart, who has what I think is a storyline ankle injury. Bret interviews like an earnest hockey player, which was part of his appeal. He didn’t have to scream or act like a lunatic to sell you on a match.

Now there’s a tag match between Konnan and Kidman and the defending champs, Harlem Heat. Konnan is also wearing FUBU; were they a sponsor? 

I’m flummoxed that they’d allow so many empty seats facing the hard camera. Why not send people in higher sections down to take those seats? This is AWA-at-the-end level inattention to detail.

Meanwhile, in the match, Harlem Heat are beating the shit out of the Filthy Animals in a mostly uninteresting fashion. It’s a slog. There’s an inexplicable screw job finish that has Schiavone asking “Who won?,” which is always a good sign. The answer: the Filthy Animals won because ... Kidman bridged out of a pin? 

Nitromare: Nothing Has to Make Sense

DDP and Kimberly come out. My God, Kimberly was attractive. And Page was insanely over with WCW fans; it’s galling how badly he was mishandled by the WWF. Did you know Page sued Jay Z over the Diamond Cutter hand gesture? They settled out of court, so we still don’t have settled legal precedent on whether you can trademark a hand gesture.

David Flair comes out. DDP is mad at Flair because Flair’s dad slept with Kimberly. Flair pulls out a crowbar and cheap-shots DDP, then starts whaling on him. David Flair looks like the character in a movie about rural 19th century America who’s described as “a bit touched.” Like a character who accidentally kills or injures a major character and then commits suicide in helpless despair. It’s not ... a great look for a pro wrestler.

DDP gets kayfabe stretchered out. Well, I believe he’s the winner by disqualification, so there is that. 

Back from commercial. Hall and Nash, in street clothes, are in the ring. Their opponents appear to be local strippers. They’re not given an introduction, so we don’t know for sure. One of them motorboats Scott Hall. The crowd enjoys it, because wrestling fans in the 1990s were not very sophisticated. The other stripper is tagged in. “This is what it’s all about,” Tony says. Nash comes in. “The hot tag! The big save,” Tony says. One of the rare moments when I feel like Lou Thesz. A third stripper with balloon-sized fake breasts comes into the ring. The Outsiders lay down and get pinned. Who says Kevin Nash wouldn’t do jobs in WCW? 

Goldberg mercifully runs into the ring and spears them both. The crowd likes it, but is also horny and mad that the woman with the huge fake breasts didn’t take her shirt off. The replay is brought to us by the Air Force, which at the time was using the slogan “Aim High.” Not a lot of that in Nitromare, I’m afraid.

I think it’s main event time. God, I hope it is. I’m so weary. Bret Hart hobbles out to the ring. He’s wrestling Goldberg, who has one of the all-time great entrances in pro wrestling history. 

Tony says Bret’s shin is hurt, when earlier we were told it was his ankle. Later, Tony says it’s Bret’s ankle. Razor sharp. 

Goldberg was not a great wrestler, and with Bret selling a broken ankle, it was hard to carry the big dude to a credible match. The story here is Bret’s insane pride and resilience, and it’s going well initially: the crowd rallying behind him as he tries to fight back against the onslaught from Goldberg. Goldberg does a good job of looking conflicted about wrestling a guy who’s less than 100 percent, which adds to the story. Goldberg finally starts working on the injured leg and then breaks the hold, hoping the ref will stop the match. Hey, this is actually not bad! 

Bret fights out of a corner and applies the sleeper, which leads to, merciful God in heaven above, a ref bump. The Outsiders and Sid Vicious run out to take out Goldberg. Nash hits the most spectacular move in his arsenal, the sidewalk slam. Goldberg is out and Bret covers him for the win. This sucked.

Grade: D

Signs in the Crowd: WCW = Where Chumps Wrestle; Everyone Hates Rey, Man (so Nineties); Ryan Gill is Gay (also very Nineties, in a bad way); IM SINGLE; Goldberg Kicks Ass; Big Sexy in the House NWO 4 Life; Hall = Ratings; Filthy Animals = Circle Jerk; Can’t Stand Me No Fruit Booties; Buff is the Stuff; WWW. Rantsylvania . Com (still active! It’s Scott Keith’s blog); WCW Monday Maestro (was there really a person who liked the Maestro enough to make a sign?); Joe B is a Candy Ass; I Pimp Pimps; Russo Where’s the Gambler?