#was it jake? tanger?

[sidsthekid]

sid bleeding prettily ft. some mild confusion over being poked at

[sportsthoughts]

Day 145 of offseason gifs - In The Room S07E01 - the Pens put a ring on it (again)

[crow-talks-hockey]

feels like another time to use this one (made by me before this season. i could foresee the horrors)

[coffee-at-annies]

Maybe a bit niche but I love seeing pics of old all star games

oh boy I don't even have to go looking because I sent this from 2022 to the fic gc yesterday and asked if they thought they kissed

but for you, I'll look deeper.

here's EK looking yummy at the 2018 asg followed by Geno and Lazy (James Neal) in 2012

Flower and Tanger flirting in 2018

hello 2012 tanger and 2007 Sid

I dunno whats going on in this one or this one other than Flower deserves to flirt with 2011 Ovi and 2015 Giroux all he wants during the skills comp

[intheupside]

who would survive on a deserted island (dkpitt)

Bryan Rust: I feel like Harkins probably could. He seems like a guy who would be climbing trees and cutting them down with his bare hands, maybe even chewing them down. I think he would do well.

Reilly Smith: I wouldn't say any of us! No, you know what? Harks. Harks could survive. He can probably find weird things to eat. He'd be sufficient at just getting by.

Jansen Harkins: Ned. He just seems resourceful, and I feel like he could just chill. I don't think he needs too much.

Alex Nedeljkovic: Jars. He seems like an outdoorsy guy. Survivalist? I don't know if that's a real word.

P.O Joseph. Not Ned! I'm going to say Gravy. He's from the Maritimes, I feel like they know a little about the outdoors is my guess. On a serious note, I think Ned would definitely be someone that would be good at it, just his capacity of adjusting in places. He would be good at it.

Lars Eller: Sid. He seems to be going different ways about things, about a lot of things. He doesn't rely too much on new technology, let's just say that.

Jake Guentzel: Sid. He's just an outdoorsman, that's kind of his vibe. I'm sure he could find something to live off of.

Chad Ruhwedel: Sid or Carts, or myself. They seem like they could handle themselves in a tough situation. I think I would do OK.

Kris Letang: Sid, he lives in the middle of the woods.

Erik Karlsson: Sid. I just feel like he would be very creative and would probably figure out a way to sustain himself for as long as he needed.

Valtteri Puustinen: I would say Kopi (Joona Koppanen). He's the smartest guy, I think. He knows what he's doing. I think if I went with myself? I'm dying. But he's a smart guy.

Joona Koppanen: I'll take Carts. He has the wisdom and the dad strength.

Colin White: John Ludvig. I feel like he's pretty handy, he'd like the outdoors like that.

Drew O'Connor: Luds, probably. He seems like he would. Look at him! He seems like an animal, don't you think?

John Ludvig: I'm going to say Cookie (Noel Acciari). Cookie's a burly man, he can handle himself. I'm pretty sure he'd find a way to survive wherever he was. I'll go with him.

Noel Acciari: Rudy (Chad Ruhwedel). He has a military background with his dad, he just seems handy.

Marcus Pettersson: Rudy. I think he's pretty handy, he could make something out of nothing, make himself a good shelter. That's big, I think he could build a shelter. Raks is a good fisherman, but the problem is he's alone on that island. He doesn't touch the fish, he hates touching the fish. He doesn't do it. So it'd be a problem, he'd need somebody with him.

Jonathan Gruden: I feel like Petey (Marcus Pettersson) would be good, just being around him for a little bit. He's pretty good, he could work his way around it and survive. Not OC. But P.O could maybe survive too. (Me: Half the team picked P.O for who couldn't survive.) I've got P.O's back! Maybe he's fooling me.

Magnus Hellberg: Can I pick myself? I'm really big into the outdoors and hiking, hunting, fishing. I think I've watched every season of Alone and all those survival shows. I like to be out in nature. When I think about all the guys, I feel like I'm the most nerdy with that stuff, spend a lot of time on the water. I would say myself, but in a humble way.

Rickard Rakell: I think Sid would do pretty well. I feel like he lives out in nowhere over the summer.

Sidney Crosby: I think I'd say Ricky (Rakell). He's pretty chill, I think he's got some survival instincts. He's got the tools.

Ryan Graves: Maybe Jars, I feel like he's outdoorsy.

Jesse Puljujarvi: Maybe Jarry. I heard he stays on a farm? So that's why.

Tristan Jarry: Tanger. He'd find someone to come pick him up.

[hunterrrs]

realized i hadn’t read this one on which teammate you’d trust the least with your car and it’s hilarious 😭😂

Bryan Rust: Jarry. I've just got a bad feeling.

Sidney Crosby: I'd go (Poehling). He's got one of those self-driving cars. I'm not sure how many hours he gets driving anymore. He doesn't get a lot of reps.

Danton Heinen: "Well, it was Frieds but he's not here. I'm going to go with Poehls. I heard he has a Tesla and just puts it in auto-pilot, but I could be wrong on that. I haven't seen it, I just heard about it. 

Teddy Blueger: Frieds would be the No. 1 answer but he's not here. Given his driving history, I'd go with him. But Kappy. Kappy maybe wouldn't take great care of it.

Brian Dumoulin: Oh, it's an easy answer (laughs). Frieds. Frieds isn't up right now, but Mark Friedman. He's had his fair share of car problems.

Marcus Pettersson: Friedman, I heard he's been a popular answer around here. But for who is here right now, I don't think there's anybody that irresponsible. Well, Geno drives fast. I'd say Geno.

Jake Guentzel: Tanger has nice cars, but I heard he's not that good of a driver. So it'd be him. He has a lot of cars, but I wouldn't trust him with mine.

Kasperi Kapanen: Guentzel. I think he's wrecked his car before, or at least scratched it. I wouldn't give him my keys.

Ryan Poehling: I'm going to go with P.O. I've been in Montreal long enough where the drivers aren't the best and he's from there, so that's why I'd say him.

Jason Zucker: No chance I'd let P.O touch it, I don't trust him. I don't trust P.O, I don't know what it is. I don't like him, I don't really trust him (smiles). You can tell him I said that, he'd definitely be No. 1.  And honestly, Kappy. Geno, maybe. Those are my final three.

P.O Joseph: I've heard some bad comments about my car, Tanger hated to drive my car, so I wouldn't let him drive my car again. Zucker is definitely never jumping in my car. Those guys make fun of me for my car, so I wouldn't give them the chance or opportunity to be in my car.

Tristan Jarry: All of them. Because I like my car.

also jarry’s responses are just 😂

should nhl ease up on dress code?

who would be the best coach?

who would be the best color analyst?

also sid and tanger picking each other as roomies 🥹

[ehghtyseven]

some ramblings about the night of assists bc I don’t want to forget these little things 😍

sidney: just exceptionally pretty close up in person; thighs just exceptionally massive up close in person (cue even the dudebros behind me gushing over how big they were); apparently inherently lucky bc all three times I witnessed him place someone’s bet for them when asked, they won; not above cheating nudging the wheel to keep spinning later in the night if it wasn’t working out for people; braces (hot - should wear more often) but no hat (sad)

geno: in fine form; BIG hands, very deft; his face is just so expressive all the time, it’s delightful; no hat or braces (sad) but still effortlessly hot

tanger: still holding court at his blackjack table after everyone else was done; wonderfully judgemental, loud and dramatic over people’s choices; sent pojo to find him another drink when his was empty; braces and hat (👌)

pojo: so cute! kept trying to send the ball the wrong way at the roulette wheel; did not seem to mind in the slightest kappy telling him what to do whilst gently mocking him for it; was dancing to the street band at the end of the night & just generally having a fun time; braces and hat (good boy)

kappy: in his element; bossing pojo around; no braces or hat (boo)

dumo: is Not Good at mental maths bless him and checked every hand with us before paying out; gave me a $25 chip instead of a $5 at one point - tbf the lighting was low lol - and was just like ehhhhh keep it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯; says london reminds him of dc apparently; hat but no braces (“looked a bit amish” according to my friend)

jake: saw sid cheating helping by nudging the wheel and decided that meant he could too but much more blatantly; not above just spinning the whole thing again; generous with the payouts; sparkly braces but no hat (looked cute)

jason & rusty: did not seem to know the rules (not sure anyone did); had a very fond little lovers spat about it; jason mostly pleased they gave him the little stick you use to push things around with; hit himself in the head with it at one point; jason wearing his special velvet shoes again, rusty rocking a hat & beads combo, both wearing braces (nice job boys)

tristan: sweet boy, sweet smile; braces and hat (excellent fit in general)

dan potash: delightful; apologised that I’d witnessed two losses so far this trip; dismissed several hall of famers with a hand wave when talking about how good sid is; taller than expected; glittery waistcoat & hat, excellent shoes (a+ outfit choices all round)

sully: seen briefly, looked hot; regular suit, no hat (I would have liked to see it tbh)

burkie: seen briefly; giant beads instead of the open tie round his neck

r-hex: not seen, just as well tbqh

[butterflyintochains]

The Penguins' Found Family

Sid + Geno's Forward Kids:

Bryan Rust Jake Guentzel Drew O'Connor

Kris' Defence Kids:

Olli Maatta PO Joseph John Marino

Kris + Erik's Golden Only:

Jack St.Ivany

Max + Flower's Goalie Son:

Tristan Jarry (now co-parented by Sid and Tanger)

Hope someone vibes with this as I do.

[pensbitchbiome]

people questioning if jake’s trade was the final straw for sid cuz of how aimless and tired he looked in his post-game are just frothing at the mouth for drama

if the pens hadn’t re-signed geno and/or tanger, him going elsewhere is something i would have given some thought to but they’re still with him in this when all is said and done

also internet folk would rather sid be a sell out cuz of their own frustrations with the team than accept that he knows his responsibility to the franchise and what intentions he was drafted with to this team in particular

he wants to win he’s playing brilliantly for his age its a gift to watch but he’s not going to walk out on a rock solid legacy of 20 years and 2 teammates who are utterly devoted to him for a trophy he’s won 3 times already in that same city

[eusuntgratie]

pens @ blues 10.21.23

some thoughts from the game last night since i was too tired to do anything useful after posting like 3 pics.

jake came out before warmups and sat on the bench for a while and just kinda stared at the ice. he's so skinny seeing him in leggings made me want to feed him.

tanger and ricky both looked kind of...subdued? off? something? through warmups and to a lesser extent through the game too. tanger really didn't seem to have his heart in his weird little stretching and puck gathering rituals. i hope he's not hurt.

po was there for warmups and also looked pretty bummed out, but i guess he knew he wasn't playing.

jarry seemed really happy and animated during warmups. i got some pics of him if any of the jarry girlies (gn) want one.

gravy is so LARGE. beautiful haunted vampire. i am still mourning the loss of my beloved babygirl but i like him.

doc was very sweet. he ended up right in front of my daughter at one point for warmups and after doing some stickhandling he looked right at her and flipped her a puck. i did the worst job i ever have trying to catch it and knocked into the dad next to me, but everyone we were close to last night was super chill and nice so he just gave it to her. the little boy next to her was so excited and kept congratulating her for getting a puck and telling her how cool it was.

kappy had a great game. the dudebros behind me were bragging on him. him and kris were very scrappy... he shoved kris into the boards hard on our end.

i know it wasn't his best game but jars made some great saves that even the blues fans (we were surrounded no pens fans near us sadly) had to give credit for.

cookie was definitely talking some shit to binnington and a few of the other blues but seemed to be happy and good spirited.

i know i've already posted about this but geno's goal was the highlight of our night. he's my girl's favorite penguin and she was in his jersey. as soon as he got sent to the box she told me he'd score coming out... AND THEN HE DID. we were on the opposite end so we had a delayed reaction but we were so excited. seeing geno on his hot girl shit in person was incredible. would've been great if anybody else had been on that level but...experience penguins hockey etc etc

i sadly coudn't see daddy i mean sully yelling at everyone bc where we were sitting but i can certainly imagine it

cannot overstate how comical tanger crashing into the net was. just right in there, nothing jars could do but get taken out like bowling pin. tanger checks on him a LOT throughout the game... my man is dedicated to his goalie.

kris's post game sweaty hair flip almost took me out. the man is too hot he must be stopped.

shoutout to whoever made the dubas sign and ek's #1 fan we hung out with at warmups <3

i'm sure i'm forgetting things but it was a fun night! always happy to see my boys in person.

if anybody wants pics of anybody in particular lmk and i'll see what i've got. i took a ton during warmups. i know i have a bunch of tanger gravy and jars.

[zashamalkin]

A few thoughts on the game from a live perspective:

1. Something is off with Sid and Jake. Tanger, too, to an extent. Idk what was going on but Sid, especially, did not look like himself many times tonight. I did see that there may have been an issue with his equipment and I hope that's all it is but something is definitely not right.

2. Geno was fighting so hard for the puck and for the game, really. I don't think that's my bias, either. He was so engaged.

3. The team seemed sooooo disorganized and sloppy. Some of the newer guys looked lost to me and aren't tracking the puck well at all.

4. I was not close to the bench. I could still see how angry sully was.

I still had fun and it was still so good to finally see them live again. It's early enough in the season that they can hopefully work out the issues.

[martyrbat]

army trying to talk about tangers haircut before getting cut off by a goal attempt by jake.... keep going king, you are the voice of the people (pens lb)

[coffee-at-annies]

The Isles getting Horvat could push the Pens to finally do something huh?

The pens are almost certainly doing something as we speak. I wouldn’t be surprised if GMRH has been working on a trade or several for a while. They likely have people they have their eye on and people they’re talking to. He’s almost certainly up to something but he’s not going to say what and the beat reporters have admitted they no longer have the access they once did so there’s not even rumors for them to speculate on.

Trades can’t be made overnight. Logistically they’ve gotta m a nightmare. On the Pens end of things, where do they have the cap space for a new boy? Do they even have worthwhile prospects to give up? Do they instead sell off all of their draft picks in a panic to shore up a team that everyone thinks is going to lose in the first round again, if we even make it to the playoffs (we’re making it to the playoffs).

So. Let’s look at the logistics. If we’re gonna armchair gm let’s do it right. Money in money out. We know pens don’t have cap space for a new player without sending someone back, maybe 2 people. Who do we trade? Petry would make the most sense with the second highest cap hit on our team at 6.5 mil and 3 years left in his contract. We can’t. He’s got a modified no trade clause (m-ntc) and a 15-team no trade list. Should we trade Dumo the way people have been calling for for months? He’s in the last year of his contract and costs 4.1 mil so it makes sense. We could probably get someone good for that money and if he doesn’t bounce back he’s gone from his new team in free agency. Except, oh yeah, he also has a m-ntc and a 10-team no trade list. Goodbye Arizona and dreams of Chych (presumably). That is, of course, if Arizona wanted to take him off our hands, which he’s played some of his worst hockey this season, I wouldn’t put it past teams to straight up not be interested. Back to the drawing board, who do we trade? Do we move our defensive futures in POJ or Ty Smith? Do we trade our cheap 7th D in Frieds and Chad? Rutta is cheap, on ltir, and here for 3 years so there’s no point in speculating about him. Petterson gets a pass bc he has 3 years left and is our best D. Tanger can’t be traded.

It doesn’t look good about trading a defenseman so let’s look to forwards instead. Everyone who has been complaining about Dumo is also talking about Big Jeff Carter, but oh look, another no movement clause, this one a full no movement. He’s not going anywhere unless he decides to and at that point he might as well retire instead. Next on the list of names people like to bring up is Kappy, but he’s currently injured. The main question is has he improved enough that other teams want him? That’s for the GMs of other teams to decide. We can’t sell what other people aren’t buying. Heino? He’s making league minimum, so you could throw him into a package but he’s not freeing up enough cap space on his own. Same with DOC and Poehling. Brockstar is on a cold streak but he’s 2.75 mil, signed for another three years, and versatile enough to play on any line. I think he’s worth keeping. I guess there’s Teddy. Third line has looked bad and moving him up didn’t fix it. There was at least 3 separate scoring chances last game that should have gone in for them and didn’t. Teddy’s only 2.2 mil and in need of a new contract so he’s definitely movable, but he’s also 80% of our penalty kill. We traded off ZAR and Simon last year because they were extraneous defensive forwards who couldn’t score and then we spent the month after the trade deadline unable to keep the puck out of the back of our net. I’m currently living in fear that he’s trade bait and hoping and praying that I’m wrong.

Trade a goalie you say? Desm*th may suck but he’s cheap. Where else are we going to get a league average backup goalie for 1.8 mil. And yes Desm*th is league average he’s maybe a little worse at goals expected but for what we’re paying him we are getting our money’s worth. Keep Dusty up and trade him you say? Well Dusty is cheaper and one of the best goalies in the AHL but that would require us to trust Dusty enough to let him start and for him to do good enough to earn the spot. That isn’t going to happen unless Desm*th gets injured again and with our injury luck on goalies going into the post season these last couple years, I’d rather we have depth at goal than selling off parts we don’t think we need for little return. I don’t like Desm*th but unless he gets a lot worse, he’s not going anywhere.

So that’s my main problem, but not the only one. What return do we get? Who is on the market? Who can magically fix everything wrong with the pens and is cheap enough to fit under the cap. You, me, and everyone on social media want Hexy to make a move. I’m certain he’s working on it. What move is he making? Who are we giving up? Who are we getting back? Are we selling just sell? Are we buying just to buy. I don’t think this team as it currently is makes it out of the first round of the playoffs. However I’ve seen trades for the sake of trades and we moved Hagelin for no reason and did not get noticeably better. Trades for the sake of trades can sometimes work out but most of the time they don’t. GMRH knows what he’s doing and keeps his cards close to his chest. He’ll make a move when he’s good and ready, and not a minute sooner.

[stalkerbrides]

Ok. I need a pep-talk. We all do!

We have Sidney Crosby (who is really good at hockey). And the Russian bear Geno. And Tanger. And Jake! And Rusty! And Ricky.

Screw the bottom six. I know and love my core.

[reavenedges-lies]

Well since no one else is asking… What type of penguin is Sid?

It's on the last ask! Anne asked for the Core + Goalies so Sid Geno Tanger Rusty Jake Jars and Ned all got penguins! He is a Royal!