#was it a mistranslation I’m literally screaming it’s been like

[asingularshieldmaiden]

I literally got so much psychological damage from Tokyo ghoul re when Furuta said that I want her to carry all my babies like the 101 Dalmatians that I still think of that one specific panel to this day

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Grievances and Cuteness - BTS on You Quiz on the Block

by Admin 1

Today BTS were guests on You Quiz on the Block, a very popular Korean variety show on tvN, and it was a wonderful mix of fun and hilarious, but also serious, vulnerable and honest. Seeing as we don’t have subtitles yet, merely the things our marvelous translator ARMYs managed to translate for us—the episode was 100 minutes long so there was a lot going on and being said—I don’t want to get into detail in this post and instead will wait with that until we have subs and I’ll be able to sit down and watch it properly again, focus on things that stick out to me and I would want to talk about. So that I can do their words justice.

Instead I want to use this post to air some of my grievances, directed at fellow ARMY, “ARMY” and shippers, as well as just gush a little about a few cute moments. The more serious things will be in a different post sometime soon. I hope that’s okay.

Grievances

What is the point of Bangtan going on a show like this, especially one that is broadcast on national TV and very popular with the general public? It’s to share not only their funny side but also their honest and genuine one, share stories that, though some we’ve heard before as ARMY, they’re things the general public doesn’t necessarily know. The point of them sharing vulnerable moments and memories with us is to simply be honest and transparent, something they’ve always highlighted as important to them.

What is the part we play in this, what is it that we should do? We are simply supposed to listen, understand the things they are telling us, put things into perspective so we know what they felt in certain moments and periods of their lives, understand that they’re human too with struggles, fears and sadness, and we should cherish the fact that they tell us any of it at all. They could just as well only show up whenever there’s a new album and comeback and then disappear again, share nothing personal at all and put on entirely fake personas. But they don’t. And we should be grateful for that and happy because of it.

Now, the reason why I even wanted to write this in the first place is this:

Many, and I mean many have decided that instead of doing what I’ve highlighted a moment ago, a far better course of action would be to twist their words, manipulate them, use them to victimize the members (and especially Seokjin), and try to overanalyze them in favor of their desired narratives and especially their ships, even if whatever was being said had absolutely nothing to do with any ship at all.

Before the episode even finished airing, solos/mantis were already up in arms “crying” about mistreatment and victimizing Seokjin because *insert demands they have no right to make at all* and when Seokjin, bless him, was on weverse, he actually replied to a post where he basically said that parts of what he said were too sad/depressing, so he simply asked the You Quiz staff to cut them out, which would explain why he seemed to have “less to say” during his interview section with Yoongi. Did that help? Of course not. Even though it showed not only that he did say more, that he likely said more vulnerable things, but also that he made the decision for himself that he did not want to share that yet, because he’s not ready for it or because he came to the conclusion that he simply doesn’t want to period, and that his wish for them to cut it out was met. Even though it wasn’t BH controlled content, but You Quiz.

More below the cut:

What does this tell us? The members have control over what is aired and what is not. If they feel something is too personal or would come across wrong, they can voice objection and chances are their words will be met and followed. They aren’t victims in need of saving, aren’t helpless boys with no idea what they’re doing. They are serious musicians, respected and treated well. This is a good thing and I’m glad he told us that, even if many don’t want to hear it and immediately claimed that “oh yeah BH told him to shut us up”. The mental gymnastics some are willing to do to make things fit their agenda truly baffles me sometimes.

On the other hand, I’ve seen shippers try to twist words or put others into the members mouths to push their agenda, and we’ve even had one or two asks being sent to us basically sadly wondering if maybe Tae isn’t who we thought he is for Jimin, and neither is Hobi, because of something Jimin said. Even though the thing Jimin said had quite literally nothing to do with either Tae or Hobi. In a way, I get where such vminnies are coming from, as vminnies we would love to just hear vmin talk about each other all day because it’s cute and we love their bond and stories, but it’s not like we didn’t get that. Because we did. Unprompted. Jimin mentioned Tae during their trio interview and told a story, even if we’ve heard it before to a certain degree. And yet it still wasn’t enough? Like come on, please don’t do this. Don’t reduce everything the members do and say to just ship related and non-ship related (thus uninteresting) statements and actions, as though the latter is worth less.

Here is the moment in question:

The way I see it, the only thing we should take away from this is that despite these very human fears and struggles, wonderings if people only care about Jimin because he is BTS Jimin and not Park Jimin, he still had and has good people in his life that’ll remind him that he is appreciated and loved for who he is, and not just for his celebrity status. Friends even outside of Bangtan. Why do we have to take something so incredibly personal, this moment of vulnerability from Jimin, and try to overanalyze it? To twist it to fit a ship? Regardless which one. Or to twist it to fit some kind of narrative, whatever one it may be? Please don’t do that.

Sure, Admin 2 noticed his use of ‘chingu’ when talking about this friend that told him that, and sure it reminded me of what Jimin said to Tae in the FESTA 2020 Rolling Paper, but neither Admin 2 nor I will go and claim that oh he must’ve been talking about Tae but didn’t want to use his name to avoid XYZ because we are not in his head and, at the end of the day, it’s irrelevant who exactly said that to him. That wasn’t the point of that story. Like at all. So why are some people disregarding the point in favor of speculations? Why are some completely ignoring his words, downplaying them as just potential ship material instead of appreciating the fact that he told us that at all?

It’s unfair toward Jimin, and the other members as well when they tell similar stories. Their lives aren’t fictional stories that revolve around romance. They are real people with real lives and more friends than just their fellow members and that’s a good thing since it surely gives them the opportunity to feel less isolated, cut off from the world by nature of their occupation and status. Besides, in the past Tae said something similar as well, how he used to be a social butterfly and make friends easily wherever they went but eventually he understood that people didn’t really care about Kim Taehyung and instead just wanted to know BTS V and be able to use that to brag, so he stopped being so outgoing. And we’ve also seen Jimin talk about cutting out friends in the past if they said something negative about Bangtan, then, a few years later, saying that he’s grown more as a person and learned to not allow these things to affect him as much, to surround himself with genuine people.

So, in light of what he said in that segment, we should be happy for him. And that’s it.

We also saw people use what Tae said about his dad to push the he must be 100% heterosexual because he said he wants to be a dad narrative which, where do I even start. Perhaps with the fact that this statement relies on a mistranslation? Because he didn’t say he wants to be a dad but that he wants to be a person like his dad, that’s his dream. Perhaps with the blatant homophobia this statement is laced in? The disregard for how queer people can also want to have kids, be parents, just like anyone else? Perhaps with how these things oddly seem to just be done to Tae and Namjoon, and especially Tae to use it for ship purposes?

Instead of jumping to conclusions, overanalyzing stories we are not supposed to analyze but instead to simply appreciate, please wait until we’ll have the full episode with subtitles (even though from the past we know that some of it may be simplified so reading what our translators wrote is also a good thing to get the whole picture) and even then, just enjoy their silliness and listen to their words of honesty. Listen to the fact that their fame was and continues to be a heavy weight on their shoulders, how instead of becoming cocky assholes they remained humble and genuine because that’s the kind of people they are and want to be, listen to what they want you to hear and now what you want to hear.

Also, to shippers—this isn’t the place to look for ship content of any kind, for some romantic confessions or whatever, because this was about Bangtan as seven members and their stories of the last ten and a half years since Namjoon joined BH and the idea for BTS was started.

Cute and silly things

Now that that's done, let’s talk about some fun and cute things to lighten the mood, shall we?

One of my favorite moments was when the MIC DROP ARMY came in as a surprise for the members, her confidence was off the charts and the guys looked so genuinely happy. After all it’s been so many months since they’ve last seen ARMY! And I’m so glad she was such a wonderful representative for us all, how she didn’t react with fear or shyness, didn’t scream or cry, but instead did her thing like a Queen. And the way the members reacted when she sent them a finger heart during one of the dances? Absolutely adorable! 

Also, she truly must’ve saved some kind of nation, or maybe two, in her past life since she also was gifted a chicken leg pillow by Tae. He’s just so kind and lovely.

Then we had the members play a game of trying to guess a song merely by the first second (I think) and then having to sing it, though who sang which part didn’t follow the actual order in the song but was chosen by someone off screen which meant that, for example, Tae was doing one of the rap line verses as well as singing Jimin’s part in another, Hobi showed off his vocal skills, and of course, the highlight, Namjoon singing a part from Spring Day. Even though we know Namjoon’s skills when it comes to singing are not the greatest, which I mean in a very loving way, no tea no shade, and yet he still went for it. It was hilarious and cute and showed that he is willing to be silly even if others might laugh at his expense.

Sometime after the episode aired Namjoon actually came onto Weverse to talk about the episode and, among other things, apologized for not singing Seokjin’s guide all that well. One thing I’d like to point out is how, originally, he wrote Jinhyung but then changed it to Seokjinie hyung, which is just a small and precious little detail:

Another cute moment was during ‘dance mafia’ when Tae turned to Jimin to ask him if they did well and Jimin replied that yes, he did well (both using this adorably soft tone with each other), they also hugged for a moment while smiling brightly. See, I said not to look for ship moments, but this is just cute regardless if you ship vmin or not. Admin 2 though would like to comment on how they could’ve given us that hug from a camera that’s a little further away so we could have a more proper look, or a longer shot of it, please?

Honestly that game was hilarious and the members who were mafia did a wonderful job tricking the others, particularly JK was fantastic at it since the second time around no one suspected him at all. Also, the fluffy ear muffs with cat (?) ears on them were adorable. At the end of the segment they were all supposed to strike a pose but Tae didn’t manage to put his ear muffs back on, so they fell to the ground and so Jimin lightly hit/caressed his chest and turned toward the MCs to ask if they could try again so that Tae could look good in it as well.

Actually, speaking of adorable in regard to Jimin, when they were introduced at the beginning of the show as RM-jagi-nim, jagi-nim being the name used for all the guests on the show and also the name on the necklace (given to guests who are fans of the show by the producers) Jimin showed off on weverse in his selcas, Jimin corrected the MC that it’s not Jimin-jagi-nim but Mini-jagi-nim which just…my heart. Too cute.

Lastly, I want to mention how all of them were asked what the first sentence would be if their lives were a book and their answers were just so very…them.

Namjoon: Predictions in life often turn out to be wrong

Tae: I’m a chameleon

Hobi: Dear, people who’ve helped to lead me here

Yoongi: You lived life to the fullest/hard/well

Seokjin: Dope, worldwide class!

Jimin: What kind of life do you want to live?

Jungkook: Hello?

Overall it was an amazing episode that was so fun to watch even without really being able to understand any of what was being said. Still the members genuine personalities shone through brightly and I’m glad they had fun and felt comfortable, especially since it’s been a while since they were last on Korean variety shows and some of their past experiences were…not great. I can’t wait to watch it again once we have subs and to write a more proper post about it then. I hope you didn’t mind this more…serious and “angry” post and understand where I’m coming from with my complaints, but also that you enjoyed the cute moments I highlighted.

[themelodicenigma]

FF7R Localization

Wow. This is getting ridiculous. All the people screaming at Square Enix NA for the localization/translations of FFVII Remake—you really should stop and think about what perspective you have at this moment. I understand though, really, and I’ll express why further down, but seeing the rationalization at the heart of these criticisms is making it difficult to not be frustrated at the fandom’s behavior.

A lot of you are really showing you haven’t spent the time understanding the localization/translation process that takes place within the company. Not to mention, that you refuse to listen to what the people who are officially involved with the game are telling you. This process in question directly involves the localization team internally in Tokyo at Square Enix Japan. A process that is accomplished alongside the developers and staff directly involved with the project in Japan. The recording sessions where people are physically location-wise isn’t one unified place, nor might be those who are outsourced to be a part of the process, but communication and involvement is retained through this process across the world. There are a myriad of paratext that describe this process that Square Enix has done for many different projects—Kitase talked about this for FFXIII, Nomura talked about it for KH3, and now Ben Sabin talks about it in multiple interviews for FFVIIR (here and here, go nuts). Ultimania interviews also typically cover it as well, the Asako Suga (Supervising Dialogue Editor for most KH games) interview in the KH3 Ultimania is a very good one as well. Honeywood, who was responsible for beginning the steps to a better localization process after the OG FFVII, left the company with a good foundation here for what they do and how it’s achieved.

Differences based on the team, circumstances, and even those outsourced to assist should be considered for every project SE does, but the overall approach to localization/translation is done about the same way. Has been for years now, with the changeup being in what is affected by the goal of either closer or simultaneous releases between the different languages, especially ENG and JPN. It’s a joint effort and everyone is on the same side—if you have a complaint about how something was handled in the game, this isn’t the sole responsibility and accountability of one person or one division of the company. The localization team are still people who work on the game, the final product we receive, directly and deserve more recognition than being treated like outsiders to, what could be considered, the primary developers.

But, that’s even if the issues at hand are actually issues to begin with.

It’s absolutely okay if you don’t like the way a localization turned out, that’s totally fair to not be satisfied. If a fan’s mindset behind translation/localization is to get the same experience of that of the original language, then I can’t blame you for such a goal—if anything I feel the same way, and objectively that’s a good goal to have. Additionally, it’s also fair to even have a preference between any of them, and I definitely encourage learning and understanding whatever the primary language is for a game.

However, I would implore you to also understand that this goal, through the effort and agreement of those creating the game, can be met in different ways, and analogous to that, a translation can be expressed in a multitude of ways within a context. There is an allowance of flexibility to capture the context in whatever way they see fit—and if it has a different approach or wording than the original, that does not make it “wrong” or a “mistranslation”. This type of thinking is very limited in how translation/localization works, especially for a creative project, and it fails to acknowledge the multitude of ways in which something can be said, and how contextual elements can influence the expression that can be made. There’s a difference between being wrong on a translation level by the book and being wrong contextually. It certainly can happen both ways, but often, fans will complain of things that aren’t contextually “wrong” to a consequential degree and that were intended to be the way it was in the target language.

I mean jeez, it’s all too typical that to a fan who has engaged in heated, and probably nonsensical, debate of LTD shit for 20 years would want to look at the differences through the lens of this offense. I’ve seen the same shit before in other fandoms and it’s stupidly petty.

Was it written for Olette to say “What a romantic story!” because the localization team are “Sokai” shippers? Or, is it because they saw the opportunity to add a more direct connotation to Olette’s response to Kairi telling her about Sora? You know, the person she literally has romantic storytelling with?

And for the hot topic, was Aerith’s lines in the train graveyard of claiming Cloud as her bodyguard there to preserve some apparent self-indulgent need to be “Clerith fans”? Or, was it done to express that light part of Aerith’s character in this situation where both other people are clearly much more tense? With a line of dialogue that characteristically match what she is physically doing?

“Context” is multiple and broad in meaning. The context of the circumstance and the responses by either characters did not change in either the JPN and ENG version, but there was however a different approach to their lines that emphasized a certain connotation that already fits other elements of the context of the scene. It really isn’t an issue objectively or false in nature, and there’s no means in which you can say it’s not intended to be what it is when the people with the authority of working directly on the project collaborated with the very same people you’re saying it goes against. It’s made, finalized, and meant to be what it is by decision.

C’mon, if you’re actually comprehending the multitude of resources that describe the localization process SE as a whole does for their games, knowing this is done with cooperation with the developers and those who can even fluently speak ENG and JPN who are on the development team [e.g. Yasue for KH3]—how can you truly have the audacity to say that something isn’t intended for how it was written in the target language? Really. Now there are certainly mistakes and contradictions that can be pointed out that actually DO change context and affect the understanding of the game’s world—FFXIII being the example for lore concepts—but people going line by line and pointing out the most inconsequential differences, things that don’t actually change the context of the scene or contradict all pertaining elements/persons involved....

Wow. Let’s talk about the actual mistakes that matter for understanding the story and not a line of dialogue that hits your personal nerve regarding shipping.

Wanting the game’s localization/translation to be as close to the original language [specifically, the primary language of those creating it] isn’t a problem, but the behavior and rational I’m seeing that treats this process by the lens of the LTD definitely is. Not to mention, the lack of understanding that the above goal can be met on a contextual level that has every right to be additive in whatever way the official team who produce these games see fit in the chosen language. The FFVII fandom really needs to stop treating everything as some conspiracy and mal-intent to give a false version of a game that everyone’s, including the development staff, efforts have been put into. This commentary that SE NA are the ones to blame, that there is even blame deserved to be had, and that the translation approached wasn’t intended by all parties involved in the process—how about we wait until someone from the development team somehow reveals that the localization managers rebelled against everything they worked on together and the end result was different than expected.

Otherwise, @-ing at Square Enix NA about how their creative team has an “LTD agenda” and are “Clerith-biased” is not going to be a good look for you in their eyes.

[x-exo]

Hehe but why would I not do such nice things and reblog your amazing creations like ??? I must share, I must show love

Dhkadnsk I felt that xD and then shortly after we got wonho's comeback and I screamed because oh my gosh yesss!! This song is just flippen amazing, I really love that 80's vibe we are getting (it reminds me of songs my parents listen too from that time) and the dancing. I LOVE how just smooth he is dancing, apparently he wanted to appear like water for the dance and he pulled it off. I'm proud for both boys, they put out amazing works of art that has me both dancing and crying in the club

Exo wise, kyungsoo is amazing like you said, the way he is casual about his solo album talk is making me laugh but be excited like I'm curious what style he will go for? Sehun has a movie coming out soon I think (catboy for the win lol) and lastly chanyeol. Welp it seems to be an exo trend where the boys surprise us with something good and then they say "peace out" lol. This makes me laugh a bit, idk I'm weird cx but while I do wish we could have a bit something more from chanyeol (or him address the chaos from a while back) i hope he will do well at the military! It was going to happen soon for him and soon baekhyun so now nor never right?

Yeah I couldn't send an anon :c asks are on but not anon, not sure if it was a glitch on my end. But for mingyu, its getting a bit more chaotic if you have been catching up (I know you said you are taking a break which i support! I will miss seeing you active but take a break for sure! Your happiness and health is important and this news with mingyu is alot. Come back when ready of course! I'll be here and others as well!) But one thing for sure is pledis DID their job and put out an announcement! They confirmed one of the accusations to be false, they are working on getting things more cleared up and in the meantime mingyu is on a hiatus. Its a good step and I'm guessing for the more series stuff they are getting evidence and talking with everyone they can and put it out like starship did for kihyun. As a mingyu stan I'm happy one part is cleared up BUT this isn't far from being fixed which is what I'm seeing many fans say "oh we should have believed him in the first place" and I am sitting her confused because like no, it isn't? We don't know any of these idols, they are meant to just entertain us with music really as you said. They still need to clear up the first set of comments so I'm happy things are being done, its far from being finished so I'm staying in the middle still. All I know is there's the issue with mistranslations that also are causing problems

Ok i wrote alot I'm so sorry dnakdba but I hope you're doing good!! I may hope off on anon sometime in the future! Dont wanna bother you with shoving myself into your dms lol. Ps fudge kakao m as well

sorry again for taking ages to answer 😔😔 i’ve been away from here for a while but omg thank you again for being so nice :’) 

I’ve been OBSESSED but like OBSESSED with Wonho’s Devil OMG it’s literally one of the best songs that have been released in the last few years HIS MIND ??????? i love it so much wow also CHANGKYUN all his songs are so good and mysterious and sexc and so him i love them so much (all the content i’ve been getting from him these past months... chef’s kiss!!)

Chanyeol is finally in war and Baekhyun is leaving next month! I’m happy they can take a break and focus on other things other than being idols tbh and they’ve prepared things for when they’re away! I’m really looking forward to every 27th of every month omg pcy and his big ass brain! i wonder what’s he prepared! also he’s got a station coming out tomorrow which i’m v excited about (even though sm for some reason won’t give him his well deserved solo but that’s to discuss another day smh...) ALSO DID YOU SEE OBSESSION XIÜMIN???? MY GOD the concept was tailored for him omg i’m so glad he knew we wanted him in there and he delivered!!!! 

As for the mingyu thing...things have been kind of “cleared” out now but i feel weird still idk i’m still waiting for him to say something on the matter tbh idk if it’s ever gonna happen but..yeah but at the same time i miss seventeen and gose so much i hope they come back soon

BUT...

HOSHI

HOSHI!!!!!! omg hoshi ???????? i’m in love with spider and the mv and the concept it suits him so well AND THE CHOREO???? i can’t wait for studio choom and to see him perform it live on music shows (i think he’s going to attend a couple???) he looks so good and seems so happy to be releasing his music! nd also the seventeens hyping him up at any given chance??? we love to see it! 

but anyways i hope you’re doing well too! and hope out of anon whenever you want to ☺️ also we got the songs back!!! yessss but still fuk kakao m for being petty

[ailathesaila]

I am officially the translator of my house bitchessss

LMAOOOO IM GONEEEE my mom and brother just got into an argument because she didn’t understand what she was saying LMAFOOO

He was saying that he’s doing fine in quaratine because he’s an introvert and doesn’t like to go out a lot, but my mom misudnerstood him and thought he said that she doesn’t take him anywhere, which is why he’s used to it (she turned it into a personal attack, as always). So then she started yell-ranting at him the way she used to yell at me when I was also 14, and it was just fucking bullshit. It literally brought back all the memories of when I was 14 and we would have a fight every single fucking day at least 5 times a day because she would misunderstand/mistranslate what I was saying. That was part of why it was so hard to do well in school because every time I went home, I couldn’t focus on homework, I would have to bascially learn to survive in a battlefield that I was forced to call home. My brother doesn’t understand (or he did), so I let her yell at him for a while, but then I felt bad for him, so I translated for her what he actually said, but she was still mad so she kept on yelling at him and my dad even yelled at him too. (My dad always automatically sides with my mom, even when her points are invalid). Usually, my dad isn’t at home to side with my mom, so it’s usually just her yelling at me and taking out all her anger on me (that’s what she does, take out her anger on specifically me or my dad because we look alike), but when my dad is at home, he always sides with her so it’s 2 parents AND my brother against me because he thinks I’m a dumb slut that will never amount to anything in life. Good thing he’s not always at home, because when he is, my mom is a lot more stressed and when she’s stressed, she loves to take it out on me. I guess this turned into a rant because everything is coming back now? My mom says that teenagers are moody when they hit 14, but that’s not true, she just gets harder on all of us when we hit 14. I’ve seen it, she suddenly stopped treating my brother well when he hit 14. It’s crazy because I know he’s the favorite. Like she will say that she loves both of us equally, and yes in the moment that’s true, but when a fight breaks out, she’s always on my brother’s side and ready to disown me. It happens unconsciously, it’s okay, I get it. 

My mom treats all 14 year olds very badly, namely me and sometimes my brother. The reason why she doesn’t treat him badly is that he is the favorite (so she literally controls her anger for him and waits until she sees my face to release it on me) and because he has really bad anxiety. I also had things going on my freshman year, but she didn’t seem to care because she brushed it off as me being a teenager and never took me seriously when I told her to stop yelling because I’m in the middle of a mental breakdown. Compared to my brother, I was always able to control it better than him because I never broke down in front of her. But that was because I knew that if I had broke down in front of her, she wouldn’t care. It was evident in the ways that she treated me when I told her my mentality was not ready for yelling. Every time I said I really needed her to stop yelling because it was negatively affecting my mental health, she told me that she was doing me a favor because when I go out in the real world, people aren’t going to be nice. But what’s crazy is that she was the rudest person that I met that year, and it’s crazy because even the bullies were nicer than her. Like yeah, they didn’t apoligize, but they didn’t bring up old shit after we talked it all out. They knew that it wasn’t the best time for us to be talking, and just distanced themselves. Now THAT’S THE MATURE TYPE OF SHIT I WANT! I wanted her to just not talk to me, because every time we did, it would just end up as us arguing and her slamming doors to “win the argument” and all that sick shit. I wanted her to get a fucking job so she could give my mental health a break, but she never did that. I remember when she was gone for 2 weeks to train for her potential business opening, I was so so SOOOO happy. I hadn’t felt so free in so long. I was happy because she wasn’t there to pick a fight with me over the smallest things, AND she would’ve been finally happy! I was so excited for her dream to finally come true, but I guess that didn’t happen because she was too scared to start. She’s always been like that, she’s had so many opportunies come her way, but she never took it. She was too scared to take risks. So then her depression got worst, and she ended up taking out all her anger on me. I shouldn’t be too mad at her because she has depression and her life was awful because she was sick of her dreams not coming true. But she needs to understand that if she wasn’t going to do anything about it, then nothing was gonna get better and none of her dreams were gonna come true! She always let the opportunity come to her, but she never acted on it. I always showed her many, many, many opportunities and supported her in whichever job or business that she wanted to open, but she never accepted anything. She would always say, “Ah cool.” and never try to actually do something to make her life better. I respect her, she was always researching which franchise or type of business would be the most profitable, but she never took the last step to open up the damn business. She always turns it back on me and says that I wouldn’t be able to be “independent” without her. But damn she must’ve forgotten, because I was SOOOO INDEPEDENT freshman year. That’s one of the things that made her more depressed and angry with me because it made her feel worthless. All her life (since I was born at least) , her only job was to be a mother and take care of us. Then, when I started to learn how to do things on my own so that I could avoid her yelling, it made her feel threatened. She saw that she was worthless and no longer needed in the family, which is why when she saw me learning to do something new, she always stopped me from doing and did it herself. One of the main things is cooking. I would ask her how to make something like Chicken and Potatoes for dinner, and while I was making the chicken, she would be yelling at me the entire time on how I’m doing it wrong, instead of teaching me. The she’d keep on yelling at me until I had to walk away for the sake of my mental health, and then she’d call me a quitter and lecture me on how I’m not as “good” as all the other kids. Now I get it that not everyone in the ‘‘real world’’ is gonna like what you do. But let’s be real here, yelling at a first timer while they’re trying to simply pick out a pan for the food is pretty harsh. Like just tell me the steps for how to cook chicken like a normal person would do, and then I’ll know. Don’t scream at me and then expect me to make a whole damn meal for you, nah, my mental health is still important to me. So the thing is, she would want me to “be like the other kids” and learn how to do things on my own, but she also didn’t want me to be able to fully do it because she felt threatened by my learning. I’m sure it was hard for her to see me grow into an adolescent, but seriously, how SELFISH is it for her to hold me back from learning to do things on my own because of her feeling threatened by me? And again, I get it, you don’t want to see your little baby be all grown up now, but seriously, that’s so fucking selfish. So I had to pretend to be dependent on her, and not cook or do anything because that was the best way to avoid conflict. So now I’ve unfortunately become dependent on her by yielding her and letting her do everything. Even today (yes it’s the post before this one where she told me to starve myself), I was going downstairs and ready to take some soup out of the pot on the stove, but she told me that was actually just my dad’s pork. So I told her, “alright no problem”, I’ll just heat up some leftover rice. But she said there’s no left over rice, so I was like “Okay I’ll just make some.” I couldn’t find any grains, so I went get some bread and she started rudely laughing at me. The wicked kind of laugh that makes my blood boil. I asked her why she was laughing and she said “HAHHAHAH me and your brother ate all of it! We ain’t leaving any for you! You wake up late as fuck, that’s why there’s no food for you haha!”. That was so rude. SHE went to bed early because I took care of her and nursed her to bed last night. I’m not bad about her not leaving food for me, I’m mad about her blatant rudeness. Oh crap my head is hurting from how mad I am... I’ll be back. Okay I’m feeling better now with my head and my emotions so after that, I took out a box to make pancakes and she went, “Oh, why don’t you just starve yourself? It’ll be easier that way :) You don’t have to make food, just starve yourself.” I wanted to talk back so badly, but I knew that would make things worst, so I just took out a hotpocket and microwaved it. It wasn’t until after I had made everything and finished eating, she was like “I knew you could do it, good job :D”. Like nah this ain’t no tough love, this is dillusionment and you taking all your anger out on me (I know she was angry the moment I walked down into the kitchen) AND feeling threatened that a child will take away your career. Hmmm, it be like dat sometimes. 

Y'all wasn't tuned in back then (Nah) My swag, they keep jackin' (Keep on jackin') I ain't doin' no verse, quit askin' (Quit askin') What's poppin'? (Pooh, you a fool for this one)

[completeoveranalysis]

TRC Translation Notes Volume 17 (Chapters 125 - 132)

More lovely notes from the even lovelier @giniroangou!

Highlights include: more coherent wish conversations, lifespan clarifications, Kamui being even worse than before, it’s true, sweet lines from sweet people, Nick finally understanding why Sakura had to go into the Acid desert alone, clothing choices explained, touching moments all around, and Good Morning Kurogane Redux! 

Chapter 125

p.5 - Yuuko says that if she were to save Fai herself, the price would be “too heavy.” This is why Kurogane looks so murderous - it sounds like she’s telling them she won’t do it. This also makes Subaru’s wish a few pages later feel less presumptuous. He’s not cutting in on the Tsubasa family; their turn is already over.

p.7 - As in the previous volume, this should be “Immediately after we came to this world” rather than “Soon after,” but I love the hilarity it’s caused.

p.12 - Subaru’s point is that the events that unfolded may have been inevitable, but they wouldn’t have happened within the reservoir if it weren’t for his presence there. It still doesn’t quite make sense, since it wasn’t his fault he got sucked in by the feathers in the first place, but it’s slightly more coherent than the translated version.

p.19 - It’s not that Fai must not receive vampire blood alone, but that if we were to receive just vampire blood he would end up drinking the blood of various people.

There’s also a subtle difference in wording about the wishes here that I feel changes the nuance slightly. Yuuko says: “Kurogane, keeping Fai from dying is your wish. Fai doesn’t want that.”

Chapter 126

p.30 - The sounds Fai is making in this scene are represented by a small tsu in Japanese (ッ), which indicates either a pause in speech or a glottal stop. To me, it gives the impression that Fai’s vocal chords are under pressure but there’s no real sound coming out, so it’s like silent/suppressed screaming. It’s up to interpretation, but if he is making any noise here it isn’t anything coherent enough to be the start of a given word.

p.32 - I would interpret Satsuki’s line as an apology for not being able to heal Fai earlier.

p.35 - Yuuko says that due to Fai’s enormous magical powers, he already had a long lifespan. For her line about his age vs Kurogane’s, “multiple times” could be an alternative translation to “many times.” In Japanese she says “nanbai mo,” which I’d say could be as few as four times (though it does have the potential to be much greater than that.)

As a side note, there is a fan translated version of this scene where Yuuko says that Kurogane’s lifespan will increase along with Fai’s. A large portion of the fandom was led to believe this and there are still people who are unaware of the proper translation, so if you see anything along those lines popping up in meta or fanfic, that’s where it comes from. It is based on a mistranslation, though.

p.36 - In the original text, Kurogane says that he saw the trust Mokona had in Yuuko when Mokona asked for her help. Since he trusts Mokona, he went along with the deal. (Just replace Mokona’s name with “that thing” lol.)

p.41 - Kamui’s “It was nothing” is ruder and more dismissive in Japanese. He says “...betsu ni,” which I think could best be represented in English as “...whatever.” It’s a total sulky teenager response.

Mokona is saying that things will be difficult for Fai from now on specifically because he’s a nice person.

p.43 - A little detail that I love: Yuuko refers to Fai as “that child” in this scene. It feels somewhat affectionate, but also gives the sense that Yuuko has been around for a very long time, especially in light of the recent revelation about Fai’s age.

Kurogane is actually setting his priorities here - he says there are still things he wants to ask, but the underground water comes first.

p.44 - Sadly, Subaru is not sharing the blame with Kamui in this scene - he’s still just saying it’s his fault.

Chapter 127

p.58 - Sakura’s first words to Lava Lamp are spoken in polite language vs the casual speech she used with Syaoran, creating an immediate distance between them that colors the silent exchange that follows.

Chapter 128

p.70 - Here, Yuuko is saying that the impurity of the water is its strength; because it hasn’t been sterilized it still has its natural power. (The antidote thing is a mistranslation.)

p.75 - Fuuma’s comment about having no means of communication is specifically in reference to Yuuko: “Since coming to this world I’ve had no way to communicate, so it’s been a while since we last spoke.”

p.76 - Fuuma refers to Subaru as “Subaru-san.” He also says Seishirou is in Subaru’s debt (“osewa ni narimashita”) - it’s a polite expression that may imply kindness, but the focus is more on Subaru doing him a favor/helping him rather than on Subaru’s attitude towards him.

p.84 - Sakura’s actual original line was, “Tell me everything that’s happened up until now,” so though she’s logically asking about everything that’s happened in Acid Tokyo, you can totally interpret this as her asking about all the things that have happened since the start of the manga. Follow your dreams!

p.87 - I’m not sure if this got lost in translation or just didn’t fully sink in, but Sakura is going out alone because that specifically is the price. If someone went with her, it wouldn’t be enough for the deal - the true value of what Sakura’s doing comes from the fact that she is undertaking something dangerous without anyone to help her.

p.89 - Kurogane doesn’t specifically tell Sakura to come back alive, but he does tell her to go and come back (“ittekoi”/行って来い) so the implication is there. Then he says, “We’ll be right here until you return.”

Chapter 129

p.93 - In Fuuma’s original line there was no implication that Sakura’s trip would be easy, just that the compass would confirm the route for her.

p.97 - Fuuma doesn’t say that the Tower will be victorious, but that they’ll have an advantage without Kamui there.

p.103 - Mokona’s speech style made this scene difficult to translate, but she’s not really asking for permission to call Lava Lamp “Syaoran” - she doesn’t actually use his name at all outside of that one question. She’s just confirming that he does indeed have the same name as their Syaoran: “You’re named Syaoran too, aren’t you?” (The official translation really committed to the fact that Mokona never uses personal pronouns, which is pretty cool in theory but unfortunately ends up forcing some of her sentences into very different configurations. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s far easier to get by in Japanese without pronouns than it is in English.)

Chapter 130

Cover page - This chapter title should be “The Crossed Line” (In the sense of someone crossing or stepping over a line.)

p.116 - To highlight how significant this moment is, the original line has quotation marks around Kurogane’s name. It also comes after a pause, so it becomes: “…. Good morning, ‘Kurogane.’”

p.125 - There are some major mistranslations here. There is no implication that Yuuko was lying about Fai’s potential to stop being a vampire. Fai calls her soft for leaving that path open - he sees it as a favor she did for the other members of the group (implied: this isn’t something he wants for himself.) Yuuko then says that it may be more cruel to give them this option than to have Fai unable to return to the way he was before, but that’s up to Fai. (Implied: the choices Fai makes regarding his options are going to determine whether it makes things more painful for his family or not.) Side note: The word that’s been translated as “traveler friends” is actually “Syaoran-kun-tachi” (Syaoran-kun and the others) so it’s not as distant as it sounds, but it’s definitely stepping around Kurogane’s direct role and investment in Fai’s well-being.

p.126 - The word Yuuko uses can be translated as “reply,” but I think “answer” would be more appropriate. She says, “... So that’s your answer?” referring not to Fai’s literal reply to Kurogane, but rather affirming that pushing Kurogane away is his answer to the entire situation he’s in.

p.127 - Fai doesn’t speculate that Kurogane had never been given a nickname - Fai says that he himself had never called anyone by a nickname before.

p.128 - Once again, the word that’s been translated as “unhappy” also means misfortune in a general sense. It’s the same word Himawari uses to talk about her effect on the people around her. Happiness may be the ideal, but I would assume Fai is worried about much more serious things than just that - if the people he cares about are unhappy but otherwise unharmed, that’s still better than a lot of alternatives.

p.129 - What’s been translated as “all the young ones in your group” was originally Yuuko saying “those children.” Given that she referred to even Fai as a child a few chapters ago, it can be assumed she’s including Kurogane in this group. She also describes their relationship as reciprocal: “To you, those children are no longer just a passing existence. And to those children too, you are someone precious. Your pain is their pain as well.”

Chapter 131

p.135 - The translation for Lava Lamp’s reply is accurate here but it might be the tone of Kurogane’s question that makes it feel off. He sees that Lava Lamp is self-conscious about wearing Fei Wang’s symbol and says, “It’s not like you wore that because you wanted to, right?” Though it invites confirmation, I would interpret this more as a reassurance than as an actual question. In starting his response with “though” (or alternatively “but”), Lava Lamp’s agreement is implied. Ie: “[I didn’t want to wear it] But I’m sure it’s not something you want to see.”

p.152 - Sakura says there will be more times when she will have to hurt people directly (not have people hurt themselves.)

p.153 - When Sakura says she wants to return Syaoran’s soul to him, she uses the verb “torimodosu,” one of the same words Syaoran used regarding her feathers. If the official translation were consistent, her line here would be, “I want to give it back.”

Chapter 132

p.157 - Fai uses the verb “ikaseru” (行かせる), which could be translated as either “make her go” or “let her go.” In this context, I would interpret this as Fai asking why they let Sakura go alone, rather than asking why they sent her alone.

None of your thoughts on Fai’s continued use of “Sakura-chan” are wrong, but I would say it’s not the “-chan” itself that indicates he’s laying claim to their relationship, but simply the fact that he hasn’t changed the name he calls her by. I wouldn’t necessarily view Fai’s consistent use of -chan and -kun with Sakura and Syaoran’s names as an inherent sign of familiarity. Note how in Fai’s discussion with Yuuko he distinguishes his nicknames for Kurogane from his more “proper” way of addressing the rest of the group. It’s normal for adults to add these suffixes to the names of children, even ones they don’t know that well, whereas many parents will drop suffixes on the names of their own children as a sign of intimacy. If Fai suddenly started saying “Sakura” instead of “Sakura-chan” it would likely have the opposite effect that saying “Kurogane” did. That being said, if he wanted to establish distance between them he could have switched to “Sakura-hime” or “The Princess” or something along those lines. Thankfully when changes of address do happen, the context usually helps make the meaning behind them fairly intuitive (as in the “Hello Kurogane” scene.) It’s just good to keep in mind that there is no solid rulebook for this stuff - it all varies depending on relative status, relationship history, tone, personality, surrounding events, etc.

p.162 - Kurogane’s original line here was, “Are you planning to go to the Princess?”/“Do you intend to go to the Princess?” so it doesn’t sound quite as harsh as the translated version.

p.165 - Sakura not knowing where to go was merely implied in the Japanese text - she originally just says that there are no more footprints.

p.169 - Kurogane refers to Sakura saying she’d come back as a “promise.” Then he says he’ll wait even if waiting is more painful than going with her.

p.171 - It may not have been clear in the translation, but Lava Lamp deliberately switches the name he uses for Sakura here from “Sakura” to “The Princess.”

p.172 - Lava Lamp differentiates between pain of the body vs pain of the heart (incidentally using the same word for “heart” that is used to describe Syaoran’s heart/soul.) If Fai was injured, the pain in Sakura’s heart would be far worse than any physical pain. This then informs the scene that follows - I assume Sakura knows her physical injuries are worse than Fai’s, but her concern for him encompasses both physical and emotional damage.

[restlessfeathers]

Writer’s Block

Time for another episode of “I went to college for fiction writing so you don’t have to.” Today, we’re talking writer’s block and how I combat mine.

The reason why I get writer’s block is usually because there is something about what I have written up to this point that irks me. It irks me senselessly. It irks me in a way that I will not be able to realize until I reread it from top to bottom fifty times.

From these seemingly endless nights of futile revisions, I have been able to figure out a very, very easy way to fix this. I have got to turn the whole thing on its head and figure out what’s wrong. My brain knows how to make stories, and when it senses a plot hole, it tells me to stop writing and look for it. Instead of actively looking for it like it’s a physical hole, the way to find it is by retracing my own steps.

Here’s an example for you folks at home: Go through the whos, whats, wheres and whys. Who is here? “Well, I know that X is going to be here, and he’s helping out Y when Z rushes in to the room and...” Now, what are they doing here? “X and Y are reading the Blah because they’re on the hunt for the Bleh, an ancient artifact from Z’s homeland, but Z doesn’t want them to know because of...” Okay. Now, where is this taking place? “In the Blee-Bloop demention, because X can only exist within realms with the letter ‘e’ in its title. They showed up in Y’s lab so they...” 

So, at this point, there come the various whys you must ask. Start very simply. Why is X there? Why is Z there? Why is Y there? If you know all of that, then take it deeper. Does X need to be there? Why? Does Z need to be there? Why? Does Y need to be there? Why?

After this song and dance, you may think that this has been some long, fruitless effort in questioning your own sanity. Stay with me here, because this is when you can and will fix the problem.

Try, mentally, to take something in or out of the situation. Spin it around. You’re no longer in a situation where X needs to be in this scene. Take X out. Even if X is your main character, even if X is holding the key to everything, take X out. See what happens.

If that doesn’t work, then take out Z. Yes, even Z. That big important character of Z! What will X and Y say without Z there?

Then you may discover something is...off. Something here doesn’t sit right. You’re so close to figuring it out! What’s the actual problem, though?! Your brain is telling you it’s there, but there’s no way to know where it is! What part is it?! It’s maddening! It’s itching to get out, it’s...

Step back. Take a step back. Go to your first version of this WIP and take a look at the scene you failed to finish. Read it once more. Based on everything that you’ve just done, what is the issue?

I’m pretty sure you’ve either totally got it or you don’t. If not, keep flipping things. What would happen if X was in this scene with his mother, of all people? What would happen if Z was talking through this without being contrarian? What would happen if Y realized that Z was a part of that place where the Bleh came from?

It happens like this: your plot hole is not a “plot” hole. It’s a very, very minor inconsistency. If you power through that little irk you started with, it will come back to hit you like a ton of bricks that, oh yeah, Y and X wouldn’t be able to even read the Blah because neither of them speak the language it’s written in. They’d need someone to interpret that for them.

Oh crap. Maybe you’re too far in to change all of that. Maybe this really has just all been for naught. Maybe this means we’re back to 50 pages ago before we even picked up the Blah to find the Bleh. “These people would need an interpreter to even read the Blah, and they went on that whole big mission to find it! What do I do now?!”

Well. You have your solution right in front of you; it’s just that you need to change the story to fix it.

“But...my narrative!” you may say.

“But...m-my tension...!!” you may scream.

Yeah. I know. But there’s something very, very important about storytelling that I will pass on to literally everyone I ever meet so it makes their lives a million times easier when it comes to writing:

Your characters are leading you to where your story needs to go.

Are X and Y angry when they, too, realize they can't even read what’s in the Blah? Maybe character Z needs to face the fact they can’t hide their lineage and admits they can read the book. Maybe this will say something about character Z’s morals if they hide the fact they can’t read it.

In storytelling, your characters are a foil for what you can produce. Maybe this started out as a story about finding some prophesy or saving somebody or fixing what was broken. But now it’s a story about...this.

And yeah, that sucks. “My narrative! My tension! Ruined!”

Not ruined. Just changed. This is probably where it needed to go. Or, at least, according to what you yourself have written, this is absolutely where it needed to go. Without noticing it, you’ve just turned a story about finding a book and some character getting overly dramatic and antsy about their friends finding something out into finding a book and some character actually presenting their morals on the page with how they treat this problem of their friends not being able to read said book while they can.

Okay, enough with the bad examples! The point still stands. Your story leads you where it needs to go. If your characters led you on a mission, they did it for a reason. If the thing that irks you is something as simple as a mistranslation or a color, that’s an easy fix. You just change some words around.

But if the problem is deeper, if the thing that irks you is something you have to go back and rewrite the whole thing because of, then maybe that just means you’re too busy thinking of the bottom line and the conclusion to realize, hey, you need to live in the moment for a bit. The ending comes later. It may even come way later than you expected it to. Right now, the thing that you need to focus on isn’t fixing the problem. It’s finding out where the story you have now is meant to go.

This can be a big problem for fanfiction authors who “mess up” something very fundamental in the source material. This was my issue at one point. When I realized I missed something so big that it tore apart all of my plans, I was devastated. Now, how do you fix something as big as that?

Well, you could be writing an AU without realizing it. Just re-label it. That’s a quick fix. But let’s play this on an even harder level of difficulty. How do you still make it canonical?

“This was my big story! It was going to be great! But since this one thing doesn’t work, it’s ruined!”

It’s not ruined.

“But it’s totally ruined!”

It’s not ruined. Take a step back. What is it that you adored about that piece? Maybe it wasn’t the “story” at all. Maybe it was the character dynamic. Maybe it was the fact you’ve never seen these three characters in the same room before, and writing them, making them bounce off of each others’ attitudes is just sending you sky high. Maybe it’s bringing new life to an old setting by putting it in a different context while keeping it canon.

You can still recycle the content from scripts as flawed as this. Yes, key word is “recycle.” If it’s bad enough, you won’t be able to keep it. But please don’t throw that draft in the bin just yet! Please! Just wait!

“But it’s tooootally ruined!!!”

It’s not totally ruined! Stop saying that! You can and absolutely should reuse things from those drafts to create the story that you come up with from realizing this huge mistake. So what if it’s 200 pages long and it wouldn’t exist because you got the date wrong all the way back in chapter one? Is there any reason you shouldn’t keep it? You’ll probably be able to reuse that scene between your characters entering that one cool place in your next draft.

And trust me. There will always be a next draft. “The end is never the end is never the end is never the end,” and all that. Even if this draft was perfect and you released it and the reviews were great and everybody loved it and it was fantastic, there was going to be another draft afterwards anyways.

This is all coming from my own experiences and my own way of solving this problem. The reason I made this post, actually, was so when I do get writer’s block, I can come back and figure out how to fix it. 

Please don’t lament over lost drafts. We are all always learning, and everything you write, from the shortest of sentences to the longest of tangents is a means of trial and error. Some of it works. Most of it doesn’t. But you will get through it, and you will learn from the mistakes you’ve made. Just take a look at the cutting room floor. You may find your next big inspiration in those loose pages.

[meimi-haneoka]

Clear Card chapter 31 - comments

Here we go....here we go ~

SOOOOO FANDOM, HOW DID YOU LIKE CHAPTER 31??? EH? EH??

Want to scream some with me? Beware, this is going to be long because there’s SO MUCH TO SAY!! Below the cut for spoilers!!!

This cover is gorgeous!! Long time no see, Spinel Sun!! You never appeared in-story XD

Kaito’s smug assface

While CLAMP never lose their chance to show us what an arrogant, smartass kid he was, Kaito’s dream allows us to get closer to the moment in which Akiho and Kaito met for real for the first time (which isn’t this time, yet). Kaito saw her from afar when he was a kid and she was a toddler, in a crystal ball, and he was the one ascertaining that she did not have even a drop of magic.  Things to note: the Association calls him Yuna D., almost like it was his code name.  So the Squid Clan is reduced to basically 5 people including Akiho (EDIT, apparently I mistranslated a part), and they have lost a big part of their magical rituals/formulas. They’re basically a declining clan (and they could all disappear for all I care). We’re told again that Akiho’s parents were tremendously powerful, especially her mother. I wonder why Ohkawa needed to specify that. Hm.

LOOK AT HIM. Fucking Kaito. But also look at this nugget over here....I can’t get enough of baby Akiho...she’s the cutest

So now it’s confirmed: both the Association and the Squid Clan collaborated to do something about her lack of powers, they literally felt entitled to write over her, as if she was a blank book. I AM APPALLED.

Syaoran's confession

And here we are ladies and gentlemen, the moment people were waiting for since...since....since chapter 1 basically???

Man...this panel....jfc kids, you’re only 12 and you already look like on the verge of divorce LMAO so the kids are staying with me and I’ll leave the house to you I AM JOKING! OK? I NEED TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD AFTER THE LAST 2/3 DAYS IN THE FANDOM!

So...we start with most of the big confession already done, with Sakura getting confirmation that she’s actually the one originating all the events with the Clear Cards. Syaoran’s face is already sad and apologetic, but the peak has yet to come. Then, the question everyone had since we started seeing his shady faces: “Why you didn’t tell me?” That’s directly questioning him and the very core of all this mess, so Syaoran starts to falter. If he could, he wanted her to not realize it as long as possible, because in case a person who didn’t train to operate magic comes to realize that their magic is going crazy, the chances this chaos would increase are very high, because they’re too conscious about it.

Try to imagine what could happen from now on. Sakura would watch her thoughts, she would try to conceal her feelings, she would probably try to suppress bad emotions in fear those could cause something dangerous. But this is a snake biting its tail, as this frustration would only make her magic go even more rampant.

Syaoran wanted to delay that as much as possible, until they found a way to stabilize her magic. I’m sure there’s a stabilizing point out there. But Sakura isn’t stupid, and she realized. Syaoran knew this moment would come. And he didn’t lose time. He brought her directly to his home and started his confession, because LORD his burden was too much to bear and I’m sure he was thinking “ok, it’s time, just give me my punishment but let me unload this heavy burden cause I can’t take it anymore”. You think Syaoran had fun, all this time? You think Syaoran had fun, telling Sakura that he had to hide things from her? LIE to her when she asked him an opinion on the Clear Cards? Do you think he had fun, every day, thinking about what the love of his life was walking into?

Syaoran did something shady towards his girlfriend, and he doesn’t try to hide it. Even when it seems like Sakura could justify him because he already knew someone who suffered from strong magic, he jumps in saying “But this doesn’t change the fact that I’ve hidden things from you! One thing more too...” See, he’s not trying to bury his head in the sand, he’s not hiding it. He’s not presenting lame excuses. That’s Syaoran for you. He knows perfectly he’s done something wrong and he expects a punishment from Sakura.  But, I’m sure all of you would do the same as him, if you knew your most important person incurred a life threat. Syaoran doesn’t need to mention exactly what that is to know that Sakura’s life would be screwed over. His face screams it enough for him. 

Nonetheless, when Sakura says that she’s mad (at him too, soon after), he stands up immediately, as if he was called into question. I think it was a beautiful way to show that his attention was all on her. And when Sakura starts to cry....his hand reaching out to her was really a strong image, for me. He cannot bear the sight of her crying for something he caused. He can only hug her head muttering an apology. I applaude CLAMP for the choice of the position, for 2 reasons: in this way it almost seems like he’s also bowing in apology and...he doesn’t bring himself to hug her completely. He could’ve kneeled down and embraced her, but...knowing Syaoran, he’s probably thinking he doesn’t deserve it yet. 

Sakura’s reaction

Sakura is the protagonist of this wonderful story, and yet she always seems to be the last one having character development. Syaoran is often helping that development. This is a very positive thing, because growth is one of the plus sides of having a romantic relationship with someone. You learn about them, yes, but you learn also about you. Today Sakura learned 2 things: that her boyfriend loves her so much that he would throw upside down his own being for her (= Syaoran is known for being honest and straightforward) and that she might have a lot to think about herself once she gets out of Syaoran’s house. But we’ll arrive to that. Sakura cannot look at Syaoran in the eyes, initially. You can feel that she’s got a turmoil going on. Realizing that she’s the cause behind the Clear Cards, there’s a surge of guilt going all over her. And that’s why her stare is well anchored to the ground.

But it’s when Syaoran confesses about the Sakura Cards going blank, and him returning the Bear, that Sakura’s face turns suddenly into fear and shock. Cause at the same time, she’s learning that Syaoran has got something to do with the problem of her Cards and she’s also fearing that something happened to them. After this, the scene with the Sakura Cards reuniting with her and trying to weigh in to make her understand that all of this was done just because they simply love her too much, was really emotional!! And how lively and WARM all of them are...so different from the Clear Cards. Light & Dark say out loud something that we probably realized before: only her own magic can cancel out her magic...because she’s become very strong. That’s why Syaoran had to resort to the Sakura Cards to counterattack the Clear Cards. And now you can also understand why in the anime his spells worked initially, but then it quickly reached a point where nothing worked anymore. Only the Sakura Cards did.

When Mirror asks her “Are you mad?”, Sakura’s eyes are depicted in a cloudy way. Again, bravo CLAMP. Cause in her eyes is reflected the storm that is going on in her heart at the moment. She’s mad, yes. Little Angel Sakura Kinomoto admits being mad. At herself, first. For not realizing anything while everyone else around her was worried this sick. Whether she will learn something from this or not, we will see it in the later part of the story. This is the final result of that scene in which Sakura said “I am the one who understands the least about myself”. And she’s mad at Syaoran, too. Cause realization after realization, she also arrived to think what would’ve happened if he put his own life in danger to protect her. And man, that mere thought ignited a “violent” reaction (violent in a Sakura-scale) from her, bringing her to be mad at him for even thinking of causing her that much pain. Cause she can’t live without him. Yes, her “I would cry forever” is her childish way to say that her happiness would be over if something like that happened. Sakura is still a kid, but she already seems to know the extent of her feelings.

Syaoran hugs her, but she doesn’t respond. I know this caused a bit of uproar in a part of the fandom. Aside from the fact that she could be responding after a while, I think that simply the spiral of painful thoughts is too much for her and got a hold of her completely, to even think about returning Syaoran’s hug. She is angry, after all. Leave her some time to process her emotions, and I’m sure these two will come out of this ordeal stronger and closer together. I look forward to see their relationship from now on, and how she will go about the problem with the Clear Cards too.

Bonus: The British family is back?!

Just a quick thought about the very final scene of the chapter, cause this rant has been going on for too long already, but let me just scream : 

AT LAST, ERIOL?? DID YOU BRING YOUR ASS BACK IN JAPAN? 

Gdi it was about time!!!! I’m so glad they’re back, so so glad. Will Eriol apologize to Sakura too? Can’t wait for next chapter!!!

[verdantstylus]

“How/Why Am I Not ‘Harajuku’ Enough?”- Notes On Harajuku Fashion

I swear people gon @ me for this... But anyways. Long post ahead regarding harajuku fashion.

This post contains what may be controversial to some of you. Or maybe what is considered “elitist” thinking to some.

Some harajuku walk veterans do believe that the style standards here are not as good as the ones in Japan. And I have to agree. The overall standard of harajuku fashion here in SG has been dropping and this post is going to attempt to explain why.

Here are the facts:

People, especially newcomers, aren’t dressing harajuku enough

The people who are aren’t coming as often anymore

Fact 1: people aren’t dressing harajuku enough.

Harajuku fashion can be very avant garde, it can be very outrageous and bright and honestly makes you stick out A Lot. But while it is bright and OTT, harajuku fashion has its fair share of simpler, more minimal styles.

Now, there is no issue when people pick the more minimal styles and come to the walk, it is a part of the fashion and should be embraced as much as the OTT styles. However the issue here is that many SG walkers don’t understand or don’t care about doing research into what Japanese fashion is like.

Japanese fashion has a few elements to it which makes it distinct from western styles. This can be seen quite clearly in the OTT styles, but when it comes to the more minimal styles, it gets hard to really see. Which is why walkers have shown up in fashion that is more costume than harajuku and many don’t realise it or think is appropriate.

Here’s the part where people May feel called out.

For example, people have shown up to fashion walks in:

cat ears and tails and all black

Black anime shirt/Japanese print shirt and pleated skirt/shorts with high socks.

Casual cosplay

Normal clothes with One sometimes stereotypical Japanese element (usually a seifuku collar)

All of these are paired with either cosplay makeup or completely normal daily makeup

So going down the list:

all black and cat ears, even if it’s the expensive cat ear headphones, is not harajuku enough. Why? Because you could wear the exact same outfit to a Halloween party and still get away with it. Wearing fast fashion black t-shirts and skirts is not harajuku, it’s not even particularly Japanese. I’m fact it’s a rather reductive way of thinking of Japanese fashion and (I’m really saying this) it’s lazy. I’ll explain more later.

Wearing something with a Japanese print on it does not make you automatically harajuku. It’s still a black t shirt with a pleated skirt or shorts. Again, it’s a very reductive way of thinking about Japanese fashion and not enough research was done into it.

We’ve stated it so many times. Casual cosplay is still cosplay. Because at its heart you are Being A Character. Not Wearing A Fashion. The point of the harajuku walks is self expression through Japanese and harajuku street styles. It’s not another excuse to wear cosplay in a public space. And No not everything Japanese is “basically the same thing” it’s like saying a crab and a dolphin are “basically the same” because the both live underwater.

Similar to the Japanese printed t-shirts, a Single Japanese element does not necessarily mean you are in harajuku fashion. And of all things, picking a seifuku can come off as cliche when not done right.

Okay Long Explanation Time.

Some may call this gatekeeping or elitism but as someone who genuinely cares so much about fashion and particularly harajuku fashion, it pains me to see it reduced to a single thought of “if I wear one thing Japanese means I am in Japanese fashion”. No, wearing one thing Japanese just means you are wearing one thing that’s Japanese. And it does not matter how much effort you put into buying this one Japanese thing, not wearing it in a harajuku enough manner basically cancels all your effort because to people who Do know the fashion, it’s seen as lazy.

I really hope people see that! It really comes off as lazy or badly executed if you’re not dressed harajuku enough.

I find the seifukus especially bad because it's honestly just screaming "this is what i think japanese girls are like!" and that's honestly degrading (and kind of racist?)

“But when I see the Tokyo Fashion Instagram, I see people in normal clothes”

Well. Not really.

Japanese fashion can have a lot of nuance to it, and to a newcomer or someone who does not really look closely at every element of the outfit, the details can be lost or mistranslated.

Fact 2: the people who dress best aren’t coming anymore

And this is linked to Fact 1. As a person who has been coming to walks for years, and as someone who knows others who have left, it’s not entirely because of scheduling issues.

It’s because it’s disheartening to come to a walk wearing a style that you love and cherish and to see other walkers dressed in something akin to costumes or in basic normal clothing.

It’s disheartening to see more and more people appear in non-harajuku fashion and be too ignorant or too proud of their looks to realise that it’s really missing the mark.

So we stop coming. We stop having hope in the walks. We stop thinking that it’s a place for the people who Love Japanese street fashion can come and meet.

And it’s greatly saddening to see.

Another related issue is that most of the Photographers don’t seem to get what harajuku fashion is either and start taking pics of Anyone who happens to be standing around nearby, whether appropriately dressed or not. And that’s encouraging more people to show up underdressed more for the sake of being photographed than for the sake of loving the style.

And some of these Photographers genuinely think they are entitled to do what they want because they show up with a camera. And this can get especially irritating when Photographers stop every 5 minutes and take a bunch of walkers for photos when we are trying to keep to schedule and Not Lose Anyone along the way.

The walk will survive without the extra Photographers. If it were just the committee taking photos, we’d be fine. The walk will not, however, survive without the walkers who are dressed truly harajuku.

So how do we solve this?

As a guideline, these are elements to look at when viewing Japanese fashion, and when you look at your own outfits, you can see how it can be improved.

Japanese street fashion often contains one or more of these elements, mixed and matched to form unique styles.

remake or upcycled vintage fashion

 unconventional garment pairing, including layering clothes and accessories.

Unconventional colour pairing

colour blocking using single or dual colours

Overloading colours

Unique small details like special trims or embellishments for clothing, or unique accessories

Unconventional methods of wearing garments

Oddly sized or proportioned garments and accessories

Elements of Deconstruction (in which garments seem or are cut apart and put back together in new ways)

Harajuku fashion is about self expression, yes, but it’s also a distinctly Japanese fashion style, born on the streets of Tokyo. With the introduction of fast fashion, the styles that were once common in Harajuku are slowly disappearing. But it’s not gone, it’s evolving into something new and perhaps still unnamed.

But it is still very distinctly Japanese. Styling your outfits according to the guidelines presented above will get you closer to Japanese street style than just doing what Looks Sort Of Right and not doing further research.

I genuinely hope the people who read this understand that and actually dress more in Japanese street styles for the HFW. And I really do hope to see more people in truly, distinctly Japanese styles.

tldr: pls pay attention to what is harajuku or Japanese street fashion and don’t go and grab the first vaguely stereotypically Japanese thing you see.

Ps. this fashion blog is open to asks and submits. Literally ask me and I can answer. Don’t be scared or too proud to ask. Because if you are you might end up as one of the people I talked about up there.

[baja-blasph3my]

The Unsung Ninja

Guys! I finally finished it after 10000 years! Here's the product of the beautiful Ninjago Twins AU by @stanrandomthings!

Summery: The ninja are sent on a mission to retrieve ancient artifacts. It goes well and they return to the Bounty. Unfortunately, a mishap caused one of the artifacts, a scroll in cased in glass, to shatter. That wasn't the worst of it, the old paper inside holds a bombshell and Misako has a lot to explain.

Warnings: slight language

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"ooh man, that was awesome!" Jay cheered as he carried one of the artifacts, a scroll incased in beautifully crafted glass, onto the Bounty. The mission had gone as planned. The night sky was shrouded in clouds, casting a dark shadow over the temple. With this, the roaring of the waterfall, and the humming of the forest, the enemies never heard or saw them coming. Just what ninja need to work their magic.

"Did you see me?!" He continued to bounce around in pride.

"I didn't quite see what you did but it must have been spectacular" Zane assured the blue ninja while placing another artifact on the deck.

"Yeah! I went like this! Then like this! I ran right past this guy and he didn't even see me! Just like a real proper ninj-" Right when he began to finish the exaggerated sentence, he threw his hands up and jumped back. Unfortunately, Nya had been right behind. Anyone could guess what happened next. With a scream, thud, crash, and a few ows, the two fell into a tangled mess on the floor. The scroll went flying out of Jay's hand and crashed on the deck. It’s crystal capsule shattering and the fragile paper roll unfurled.

Recovering from the fall, Jay realized what just happened. In his blind excitement he ran over Nya and destroyed the artifact.

“Sorry Nya…” he shamefully wheezed out. Great job Jay. Act like a kid, trample the love of your life and destroy a priceless piece of history.

As the Master of Lightning scolded himself, the female ninja forgave and walked over to inspect the damage. This was gonna be hell and a half to clean up all this glass. The scrap of yellowed paper layed shriveled upside-down. Out of curiosity, she gently lifted and turned it over. Looking at the exposed side, there was something wrong about it.

"uh guys? You might wanna see this..." Nya waved the others over as she was pouring over the unraveled scroll on the floor. Judging by the confusion and worry on her face, it was serious.

"What is it?" The team said in almost unison as they gathered around the scroll, looking at it's sprawled out interior. It was tattered and faded from age. The yellowed paper was also ingrained with millions of crinkles. Most of the writing in a language ancient and unknown, only a few symbols were recognizable. From just this, someone would have had brushed it off and deemed it just senseless chicken scratch. But the drawings depicted on the bottom were more than that. There, two figures were pictured in failing colors. The one on the right in faded green. The other in dull gold. Their forms were unmistakably ninja, seeming to be channeling energy at one another. Where it met, the colors intertwined to form a dragon. Within the dragons jaw, there was a bleeding black figure.

"Woah..." most of them whispered in awe. The others may have been fascinated, but the ancient scroll deeply unsettled Lloyd. He knew that green figure was supposed to be him, the Green Ninja. The problem lied with the other figure. Who was this? Who is this supposed to be? From the depiction, it seemed these people were connected somehow. Who was Lloyd supposed to be tied to? Was it him and his golden power? Could it be the First Spinjitzu Master? All this was making his head spin. The mangled figure was equally disturbing, that was his father. Just looking at it would make these assumptions worse and worse. The real meaning was hidden in the text.

"Zane, do you think you can translate it?" Lloyd asked the nindroid. It may be a dead language but he was a walking computer. There's countless other artifacts like this, from them Ninjago found it's history. There had to have been a translation.

“I can try, but there’s no guarantee it’ll be accurate or translatable.” The nindroid stated, casting a blue glow upon the paper as he scanned it. After completing, it took a few moments to receive an answer.

“Translation successful, reading it out now….”

"Born of son and woman, two descendants are to be birthed. A son of green, a daughter of gold. Blessed are they by the first, for they are to inherit his power and destined to protect his creation from their dark father."

"Holy sh!t", Most of them breathed.

"It is best that you watch your language." Wu stated from behind them. Twisting around, they saw the old master making his way over the deck.

"Good, maybe he could tell us one of the million things he never did," Kai growled, snatching up the scroll and storming to meet his master halfway.

“Wu!” He shoved the scroll in his face, “Why did you never tell us about a Gold Ninja!?”

"What? I.....I honestly did not know of this," the old master breathed in bafflement, taking and closely examining the scroll to make sure it wasn't mistranslated or forged. "Perhaps it is a false prophecy."

"No. I'm afraid it's true." Misako solemnly stood on the deck. All of them turned to face her sudden presence. "Forgive me what I'm about to tell you. I'm a fool for hiding it too long. Bring the scroll and come inside. It's about time I get this off my chest." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Again, I'm sorry for not saying this earlier. I thought I would never have to."

"Lloyd," Misako said softly, settling her hands on the ones of her son. "You weren't an only child. You were a twin..."

"When they were born. I knew that both of them, Lloyd and his sister, would be destined to fight their father. The boy would become the Green Ninja, Master of Power. The girl would be the Gold Ninja, Master of the Golden Power. I had read it in several scrolls and other ancient writings. I refused the idea of my children being forced to live with all of Ninjago on their shoulders. So I spoke to their grandfather, The First Spinjitzu Master."

"I begged him if I could change the scrolls and never let them become ninja. It took some convincing, but he finally agreed. I could rewrite the legends to only speak of the Green Ninja, the Gold Ninja was erased from existence." Misako glanced at the scroll in front of her with sad and defeated eyes. "Or so I thought."

"I left Lloyd at Darkly's and continued to prevent him from becoming the Green Ninja. While I took his twin far away. Far away from her father, Wu, you guys, and her destiny."

All hell broke loose now. The ninja were uproarious with frustration. Why had she kept this from them for so long. This wasn’t some little secret like taking the last donut. This was world changing truth. A Gold Ninja? The Master of the Golden Power? Lloyd had already became the Gold Ninja but now they were told he was never supposed to and someone else was to naturally hold it? Lloyd had a twin sister literally no one else knew about? A sister? First she totally abandons her son and now she tells him that he had a sister all along? How could she? All these years and now a single peep? They sure could of really used a Gold Ninja all those times they almost got killed.

"ENOUGH!" Wu shouted at the top of his lungs, slamming his staff on the table. All at once the ninja quieted, stopping mid sentence and quickly closed their mouths. Sitting back down in fear of what their Sensei could do next.

"I have had it with your hateful hollerings! If anyone should be screaming, it should be me! Look what you have done to her!" He scolded his students, gesturing over to Misako. At this point, the poor elder woman was barely holding on to herself. The harsh words of the ninja left her a wreck. Covering her head on the table, the muffled weeping shook her old frame.

They begrudgingly apologized, still heated and unfazed at what damage they caused. Then taking a deep breath, he turned to Misako and calmly asked, "Why haven't you said anything all these years?"

“One of my children was already destined to have a dangerous path that could lead him to death! I wasn’t going to curse my other child to the same fate!” She screamed, choking on sobs.

At this moment, Lloyd felt like a mountain had fallen on him. Did his mother just say she threw this all on him to protect his sister so she would have to go through anything? He's being put in the grinder for her? Talk about Mother of the Year. Cursing one kid to save the other. If she know this was going to happen, why did she even have them? Hell, why did she even get with his father in the first place. If Garmadon hadn't faked Wu's letter for his own, none of this would have happened. Sure he wouldn’t exist but after all this he kind of wanted that. To just disappear, so he wouldn't have to deal with this bombshell.

“Go outside and don’t come back in until you realize what you've done.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know what? Sensei's right. We shouldn't take this all out on her. She just wanted to protect her kids." Cole decided, kicking a glass shard off the deck.

“yeah,” Jay agreed, “I feel really bad for yelling at her now.”

“yes, we took the situation to an extreme. It was a bombshell for sure but to hurt Misako like that was unnecessary.”

“Agreed, we don’t have the right. If anyone should be angry, it should be Lloyd.”

“I just,” Lloyd started then sighed heavily, “I’m just so tired of not being told things, lied to, and thrown under the bus. My mom just said she left me to be the Green Ninja alone. Just so my sister didn’t have to suffer too.”

“But think about it Lloyd," Kai put his hand on the young man's shoulder, "if you didn't become the Green Ninja, Ninjago would be dead meat. Without you, the Overlord could of took over, or Garmadon, or a million other bad things would of happened.”

Kai was right. Without him as the Green Ninja, everything would have been long gone. Maybe Misako didn’t through this all on him just because she never loved him. She did it to protect Ninjago, because if no one protected it, there would be no safe place for his sister or him.

“well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go find her.”

Lmao I didn't really proof read this so sorry if there's mistakes

[tumblunni]

Okay I know that kingdom hearts has a bad reputation for sticking crucial plot information on obscure spinoff games but HOLY SHIT I just finally watched a lets play of the fuckin digimon tcg game and found out it ACTUALLY HAS A GODDAMN CONCLUSION TO ANALOGMAN FROM DIGIMON WORLD 1

like 90% of the damn game has no plot whatsoever let alone indicating its a digimon world sequel! and then suddenly in the last battle without being foreshadowed whatsoever analogman returns and gets possibly the best boss battle ever IN A GODDAMN TCG GAME

holy shit his whole fight is framed as ‘this is literally the same guy from digimon world 1, hacking another game’, the interface wigs out and a bunch of fake command windows pop up with rapidly scrolling code of the game supposedly falling apart. And then his boss battle flips the entire gameplay system on its head by giving him fourth wall breaking special moves that pull overpowered effects by “hacking the engine”, with cool animations to fit. Fuckin badasssss!!

and it also fuckin FINALLY EXPLAINS THE DAMN PLOT LIKE GEEZ

digimon world’s conclusion was so rushed, you never even meet the villain until the final battle and it ends all weird with just “something” going wrong that causes him to get sucked into a portal or something while screaming dramatically in weirdly high resolution terror faces??? the tcg game confirms that this was him attempting to flee back to the human world after you defeated him, but one of the stray attacks from the battle damaged his machine and it caused him to essentially commit accidental suicide when he turned it on.

and HOLY SHIT MY FUCKIN OBSCURE HEADCANON IS TRUE????

the game had some sequel bait hints that maybe analogman is somehow still around and that the portal explosion just turned him into “corrupted data” so he can never return to the human world. and i always thought it would be super ironic if he actually got turned into a digimon aka the thing he hates more than anything

WELL OKAY I GUESS CRITICAL LORE IN A TCG GAME IS OKAY WHEN ITS A BIG YES BUNNI U THEORY BE CORRECT

he appears in this game as a malomyotismon who does a damn good vexen face during the fight, lol. And he’s all “gahh that stupid kid ruined my plans but this accursed body at least improved my hacking abilities!” Tho its implied that his corrupted state is more like a bodyless cloud of data that can possess/copy different digimon, which would be REALLY FUCKIN CRITICAL to explaining the goddamn plot of Digimon World Next Order!

Seriously wtf is up with this series? Digimon World 2 is not the sequel to Digimon World 1, all the numbered games are entirely separate individual stories with wildly different genres from pet sim to roguelike strategy. The real sequel is fucking DIGIMON THE CARD GAME THE GAME and then Digimon World Next Order a bazillion years later for the ps4. In which i am STILL REALLY SALTY that they have a FUCKIN RAD remix of analogman’s boss theme yet he doesn’t appear in the game. The added context of this damn tcg game confirms once and for all that the Ambiguous As Fuck Ending actually WAS him appearing in the game, this unexplained “oh wait the villain was good all along and he was just possessed by an evil virus” was supposed to be corrupted-digi-analogman and seriously WHY DONT THEY JUST FUCKIN EXPLAIN IT!!! this tcg game wasnt even released in europe!! and even american fans probably had no clue it was linked to this entirely separate subseries! You have to friggin piece it together with context clues like the battle music and the fact analogman’s signature mon was machinedramon. I mean vjesus christ Next Order is a litera; sequel with the grown up version of Digimon World’s protagonist as a badass home ec teacher who still defends the digital world in his free time yet you couldnt spare ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE mentioning the name of the villain?? and summarizing the fuckin tcg game everyone missed??? AND CONFIRMING THAT THE VILLAIN IS INDEED MAKING A REAPPEARANCE POSSESSING THIS GUY??? oh god everything makes SENSE, thank you terrible card game adaptation. ehh but i do still love Next Order for making Hiro/Mameo’s canon partner Mamemon, he’s even more badass as this big tough bishie version of himself with a tiny adorable pal that can shoot rocket fists through space and time. (its funny tho cos the DW1 intro movie showed metalmamemon and metalgreymon and the american boxart flipped a coin and decided metalgreymon must have been the one the protagonist was using in that scene. Whoops!)

anyway even with the added context that IT WAS INDEED GODDAMN ANALOGMAN, the final boss fight in Next Order was as terrible as the rest of the plot. So I’m glad trash gramps got a suitably badass boss fight after all, even if it was a CARD GAME VERSION! lets all celebrate the awesomeness of this obscure fuckin spinoff game’s obscure fuckin intercontinuity cameo with the boss fight music that other game wasted

seriously fuckin hell the biggest challenge in that final boss was that i was so distracted by SHEER OFFENDEDNESS at the cool music not matching it that it was hard to keep focused

its not just a great boss theme for a terrible boss, its a really fuckin EMOTIONAL song for anyone whose childhood was fuckin defined by the first game!!!

and look you had a PERFECT FUCKIN EXCUSE for a REALLY GOOD boss battle against MY MAN GRUMPY GRANDPA OF THE COOL DAMN NAME. Seriously guys analogman was THE FIRST digimon villain! digimon world came out before the anime, digimon world was the BETA FOR THE ANIME! this was the first place they had the ideas for file island, so much of the areas in the game are awkwardly mistranslated versions of stuff that would later appear in the anime in a different form. before this digimon had never been anything more than a fuckin 2-bit graphics tamagotchi and this was (after the manga) only the second goddamn time these monsters had an actual full colour character design! all of those charmingly janky 90s gross out show styled tcg illustrations? that was concept art that this game was working from! fuckin hell this game thought up the idea for metalgreymon’s changed design that ended up becoming the iconic partner of tai in the anime. (you can also see beta tai in the manga with a beta veemon as a partner instead! o_O)

SO LIKE...

JUST....

I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT ANALOGMAN OKAY!!! he’s a badly written guy with only like five sentences across all the videogames but fuckin hell he was such an Iconique part of the development of this series that they named him fucking ANALOGMAN

like dude you could have SO EASILY made me scream at my tv in a more positive way by bringing him out as the surprise villain and showing us wtf his deisgn is even supposed to look like cos god all we have is a blurry faceless early ps1 model buried under the glow filters of Mt Infinity’s funky background effects.

AND FUCKING

IF IT IS CANON

THAT MY FUCKIN

STUPID THEORY

IS CANON

slap a fuckin O on this man and LITERALLY LET ME BEAT HIM UP

like dont even give him a team or anything, just let me fight THE MAN HIMSELF

you canonically fuckin said he’s a digital ghost now and basically the same as a digimon

let me beat the shit out of a regular businessman in a suit and tie while he pulls his badass ‘i’m hacking the game i’m in’ bullshit from the GODDAMN TCG GAME THAT WAS MORE CLIMACTIC THAN YOUR SHITTY CASH GRAB FAKE SEQUEL

man god i didnt expect a fuckin TCG GAME to revive my righteous fury from back when i first played that piece of shit. i hate it cos Next order is so pretty and its gameplay is so good and i really loved my twin digis but there were SO MANY bugs and cut corners and missing content and really bad writing and GOD it made me so sad that the dub team really really tried, they tried so hard that they got fuckin renamon’s original voice actress back even though the renamon in this game has nothing to do with the anime one. THE DUB WAS REALLY GOOD BUT IT COULDNT SALVAGE THAT SCRIPT!! THE MUSIC WAS REALLY GOOD AND THE ART WAS REALLY GOOD AND THE DIGIMON THEMSELVES WERE MY BEST DAMN FRIENDS FOR THAT MONTH OF MY LIFE BUT THE GODDAMN FUCKIN SCRIPT!!! the postgame was MORE FUN because FINALLY everything opened up like the sandbox of the first game and you could just fuckin hug u digis without being distracted by constant cutscenes butchering your childhood nostalgia

man i wanted to write a fic/draw a comic about my headcanons on how to fix it but i never managed to do it cos holy shit it was basically “throw everything out and make a different game geez” I COULD RAMBLE FOR HOURS ABOUT THE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SEQUEL THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN!! and a fuckin!! tcg game!! was closer to that sequel!!!

and fuckin MY THEORY WAS RIGHT AND MY BETTER GAME IDEA ACTUALLY WOULD WORK IN CANON

fuck it im gonna do draw myself decking business gramps in the face

oh! and the female protagonist design! thats another rare good part of that thing! i loved the pixellization effect on her ponytal, way better than the male equivelant having a very ordinary costume design just with a pixel corner taken out of his jacket. also why did the plot never actually make a thing out of that? like you’d think that ‘unlike every other digimon tamer i’ve got this scar of my digitization’ would be a plot point. like they didnt give everyone else a cool pixel squares mark! they could have at least used it as an excuse why the protagonist is the Only Chosen One who can do all this plot shit. or if it was me i would have made it early foreshadowing for the Return Of Business Gramps, like you were partially infected by the Oooo Mysterious Unexplained Digi Virus (seriously why did they not just have ONE SENTENCE explaining its the fuckin original villain returning????) during the prologue and i dunno somehow that gives you powers to break analogman’s control on the digimon he possesses. or maybe the pixel thing is like a tracking device he put on you? or just give that cool design trait to the protagonist of digimon cyber sleuth instead, whose entire plot is that theyre a digimon human hybrid with literaly the power to pixellize themself into computers.

ALSO!!! actually do something!!! with mameo!!!

they really fuckin hyped up in all the prelease materials that the digimon world 1 protagonist was gonna be in this game and he’s all grown up now. and then he does NOTHING in the plot except babble exposition and stand around your home base. and has one line about how he’s a badass teacher now and his partner is mamemon but hey we made a bullshit excuse for why his digimon is sealed away and he never gets to fight :<

give me an actual cool teamup of new protag girl and her cool teacher dude beating the shit out of business trash with their bare fists and also their digimon’s bare fists while THE BEST DAMN MUSIC GOES UNWASTED

...fuck i sure do Feel Intensely about nostalgic games lol. i wonder if i’ll be so rambley when i play kh3? maybe itd be a really shitty lp, aaagh...

[funkymeihem-fiction]

My Lovely Assistant- Chapter 3 (Junkenstein Meihem)

“A handshake, mate! A bloody handshake!” Junkenstein dragged his fingers down his face, digging them into the sallow flesh of his cheeks. “What was I thinking? I’ll tell you what I was thinking! I wasn’t thinking! I wasn’t thinking and she’s probably halfway back to China by now to tell everyone about how I had a lady literally on top of my lap and I gave her a handshake!” The Monster responded with a low ‘ghhrrmm’ and that was all. “Do you think I don’t know that?! I’m blowing a bloody brain gasket over here. She looked real sad, said something in her gobbledygook, and then hopped off. Because who could blame her! A handshake?!” He howled and brought his forehead down into the table with a thunk. Scarecrow looked around unsurely, its lenses whirring with each little adjustment, before bringing a long and lanky arm up to pat its master’s hunched back in a poor pantomime of comfort. Junkenstein pushed it away brusquely, sending it tipping over to the floor with a straw-filled crash. “What do you know about fine ladies like her?! Nothing! And apparently I don’t either!” he snarled, gritting his teeth before trying to smooth back his wild head of shocked gray hair. Nearly falling to his death hadn’t phased him very much, but his panicked handshake and her reaction thereof had nearly shattered his world. In desperation, he turned to the larger figure across the table, oozing wisps of shadow as its jack-o-lantern head flickered eerily in the dim candlelight. “What about you? You’re a keen sort, I bet you got all sorts of advice for this sort of thing. You ever made it with a lady before you turned into a pumpkin? Or, were you always a pumpkin? I mean, not that a pumpkin couldn’t make it with a lady…Wait, could they? Could you? Did you?” “I don’t even want to be here,” The Reaper replied dryly. “Just give me the new schematics so I can leave.”

“Do you think…erm…Maybe the Witch has any advice about-” “NO,” The Reaper snarled. “You are to focus on the tasks at hand. Pray that you have a better handle on your army than you do on your pathetic love life.” Dr. Junkenstein shot him an offended glare behind his goggles, rummaging through his papers before rolling them up and slamming the bundle into the Reaper’s outstretched claw. “Well howdoyado to you too, then. Hope you were nicer as a person than you are as a pumpkin, dipstick.” The Reaper didn’t bother with an answer, having listened to Junkenstein’s lovelorn rantings for the past twenty minutes before finally receiving the papers. Tucking them into the darkness of his cloak, he finally turned to go, heavy spiked bloods clunking to the door. For a moment he paused, before the jack-o-lantern turned to set its flickering eyes back on the scrawny figure of the doctor, who was now sprawled out across the entire paper-strewn table, spread-eagled and staring listlessly at the ceiling as if waiting for the end to finally come and claim him. The Reaper had never been fond of the Doctor and had always made that very clear…but no matter the insults or troubles sent his way, he had never him like this. Usually the Doctor was in some manic state or other; found halfway in or out of the guts of whatever robot or monstrosity he was building, tinkering with dangerous sciences and magics never meant for human hands, laughing, screaming, or a combo of the two, and chattering to himself and his handmade ‘friends’ nonstop. He didn’t even know the Doctor was capable of being sad. Especially over something like a fumbled encounter with a girl. Sighing, the Reaper shook his head and waved a hand. “Look…” Junkenstein didn’t look at him, and sighed like his world was ending instead. The Reaper grumbled. Why did people always come to someone like him with their problems? “Laying around and moping over them won’t help. If you care about this woman, show them. Figure out a way to get her to understand that you are sorry. Just don’t bother me or Our Lady about it any further. Do something useful, for once. Go apologize to your jiangshi…” “How am I s’posed to apologize to someone who don’t understand a word I tell ‘er?” Junkenstein whined aloud. He received no answer, and when he turned to look, the Reaper was already long gone. The Doctor lay there for a few minutes longer, sighing loudly and frequently for attention. Scarecrow, at a loss as to what to do, went limp and fell onto the table beside him, sighing as well. Eventually the Monster became tired of it, lifted one enormous arm, and with one sweep he pushed them both off the table and onto the floor. They both landed with a crash and after a few moments of silence from under the furniture, Junkenstein suddenly leapt upward with an energetic hop, hands on his hips as he faced down his creations. “You’re right!” he said, pointing to the uninterested Monster. “Brilliant idea, mate! Rally! Imagine, the great Dr. Jamison Junkenstein being defeated so easily! Oh-ho, I don’t think so, my friend! So the handshake thing was a bit of a blunder, yes, and I’m pretty sure she looked ready to cry when she ran out of there…but if she hasn’t left back for China, I still got time. What I need is a gesture. I need a grand gesture, just for her, just for my lovely assistant. So what if…” He trailed off for a moment, waving both hands as it to try and physically tie his thoughts together, snagging whatever spilled out of his brain and cobbling them together for coherence. Or at least a semblance of it. “So…what if I made her an assistant? Everyone likes assistants, don’t they? All right, get the shovels, boys, we’re going to need a few fresh bodies, some new electric coils, new clothes, probably a wig and some dentures-” The Monster snorted. “Hm, maybe not,” Junkenstein agreed. “Not enough time to make one of those. What else does she like? Not like she’s been able to tell me what she likes. What do lady sorts like? Chocolate candies? Expensive wines and teas? Sparkly jewelry?…Wait, aren’t those just things I like? Hrrmmm… What does a Jiangshi like?” He thought for a moment, tapping his pointed chin with a ‘hrrrmmm’, before his grin lit up. With a fabulous skipping motion, he made for the shelves of his study, leaping onto the rolling ladder and starting to rifle through his collections of books like a mad thing, sending them flying in all directions as he dug through them. Finally finding the ones he wanted, he gathered them into his arms and headed back for his table, dumping them open and searching through them frantically. “Hrmmm…Ji’an, Jiao, Jianbing, Jiujitsu…Jiangshi!” His mind racing, Junkenstein flipped open his book of Chinese characters and began sifting through them as well, snatching up a quill and ink as he began scribbling frantically. “Well, this makes about as much sense as she does, s’mostly in foreign text. All right, Jiangshi, the hopping ‘stiff corpse’ monster. Uh…something about ancient powers of evil, something something, absorbing power, flying…turning into wolves? Never seen her do that before, need to ask her about that one later. Here’s something about…Oh!” He tapped at his book, scribbling so hard that the quill bent and ink splattered over his freshly laundered labcoat. “Here’s a list of something; sticky rice, duck eggs, blessed chicken, and the…blood of a black dog?” He thought for a moment. “Huh. Well, I’ve heard the Chinese have some strange tastes. Sounds like a recipe, don’t you think? You know, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve seen her eat anything yet. And she always looks so happy when I mention food, gets all…snuggly, and whatnot. Bet our cuisine must be awfully bland compared to all this, and she’s been so worried about me eating well, she hasn’t had the time to cook for herself. Poor dear, she must be starvin’ for something good. This is it, boys! Here’s our gesture!” He turned and shoved the open book into the Monster’s face with an audible smack, smashing the creature’s snout up. “This recipe! This one here! Let’s get to the kitchens! We’re gonna make something nice for Miss Mei!” ***

“No. Yes. No. No. No. Yes.” Some time later, Dr. Junkenstein was rooting through his kitchen cupboards, flinging out pieces of equipment and generally making a mess. “Where’s the colander?! Wait, didn’t I use that for a generator bit? Er…Here, use this spoon thing with the holes in it instead. Where’s the pan I had?” Scarecrow, who was wearing the pan as a helmet, scrambled away with a guilty hunch, heading into the pantry. The Monster held an armload of cooking utensils and ingredients, spreading them all out on the crowded tabletops as his creator sent a bag of rice hurtling his way. The burners were already flaming hot, as the Monster dutifully emptied out the entire sack of rice into the cookpot, spilling out over the top and all over the floor. Junkenstein didn’t even notice, ripping up pages from every copy of every holy text he could find, scattering the pieces into a boiling pot with a still-raw pink chicken inside. “We’re gonna bless this chicken, we’re gonna bless the hell outta this chicken! Yeah! Get! Blessed!” He flung the covers of a book in with it before slamming the lid down, rubbing his hands together as the kitchen descended into further chaos. “Make sure the rice is good and sticky, it said it needs to be sticky! Now where did I put the…ah-ha!” He rummaged noisily through the cupboards before pulling out a small vial. “The blood of a black dog!” For once, this gave the Monster pause. He lifted his head, then turned and jabbed a thumb in a questioning way towards the tiny bottle. “Hrrmnn?” “Because it pays to be prepared, that’s why. You never know when you might need something,” Junkenstein replied, upending the vial into the pot with the chicken. “You know, I’m pretty sure it said something about adding a virgin’s piss. But…ya know, probably a mistranslation and all, let’s not put that in. Besides! Hehe, who’s…who’s gonna find a virgin at this hour, right?!” The Monster looked at him. “RIGHT, MATE?!” Junkenstein shrilled. The Monster looked away again. Scowling, Junkenstein stirred at the thoroughly blessed chicken with a wooden spoon, turning as the kitchen door slammed. Scarecrow, still wearing its cooking pot askew on its head, had returned, holding an extremely angry duck in both hands and holding it out in offering. Junkenstein bared his teeth, pointing his sticky spoon at them both as the duck flailed its webbed feet and quacked madly. “Qwok qwok qwok qwoooook.” “I said duck eggs! Duck EGGS, you literally brainless cretin!” Scarecrow paused, then turned and threw the duck out the window, reaching into its tattered overalls pocket and offering a handful of eggs it had pilfered from the village pond. Junkenstein snatched them up greedily, finagling them between the fingers of his mechanical hand and cracking them one by one in rapid-fire succession, dumping them all at once into the slurry in the big cookpot. The golden yolks covered the red-spattered chicken, already boiling in its paper-scattered broth. “All right, boys. Everything’s coming along nicely. Yeah, get everything nice and hot. Make it strong, and make a lot of it!” He tasted the spoon, promptly spat it out onto the floor, and went back to stirring. “Aaachbt! Pleh! Well, so long as this makes her happy, eh? I really am a genius. I promised I’d take her out for dinner. Still am, mind you, once I’ve taken over the village and executed my enemies, gotten my to-do list to a more manageable level… Still going to take her out, but for now, what’s more romantic than a proper homecooked meal from yours truly, made specifically to her exquisite tastes?” He dumped in the rest of the dog’s blood as the rice started burning beside him, still stirring madly. “She’s gonna love this!"

***

Some time later, he limped across the stone ramparts, holding the huge pot by both handles and a carrot-embroidered kitchen towel. His metal peg leg clacked noisily on each step, the blue glass of his goggles shining in the moonlight. Lifting his voice, he wheedled aloud. “Mei? Meeeiiiiii, darl, you around here? Come on, sugar pea, let’s not avoid each other? I know what happened was…er….less than ideal, but-” He heard the familiar sound of hopping, and the jiangshi woman appeared from the shadow of the doorway up ahead. She still looked a little hurt, he thought, with those big dark eyes of hers shining behind her glasses, and only the tips of her little fangs appearing as white dots on her lower lip. Well, if he had his way of things, and he would, those eyes would be bright and happy, and she’d smile at him with all her teeth, even the sharp ones. He offered his own sharp grin, hefting the pot in hopeful offering. “Now, um…I’m aware that there may have been a slight miscommunication earlier. Language barrier and all, it’s completely understandable. But, being the upstanding gent that I am, I want to make it up to you.” “下次再谈这个问题吧…” she said, rubbing her arm a little with one claw and looking away from his pot. “Now now, let’s not write it all off yet, huh? Put a lot of hard work into the apology, I did. It’s an apology in physical form. Not that it tastes like sorrow, mind you, not like that. I did my research, found out that…well…you were probably just hungry, right?” She blinked and looked at him at that, seemingly recognizing at least a few words. Especially ‘hungry’. She hesitated, gazing at the man and pursing her lips before looking down bashfully, mumbling in her native tongue again. “Yeah! Yeah, you were just hungry, weren’t you? This is all just a little error, that’s all. Don’t worry, love, everyone makes mistakes. So…we can go back to the way things were, can’t we? You can be my lovely assistant, and I promise you, I promise you I will be more attentive to your needs!” he smiled. She eyed him a bit more, but he could see she was smiling a little. Hope fluttered in his heart valves, then practically blew up in his chest when she looked up and offered him a little nod. She even hopped forward a little, starting to reach for him with that adoring look in her eyes that he liked so much. But, he was still holding the surprise in the cookpot, and he couldn’t stop himself from fidgeting, tapping a bit from leg to peg and biting his lips before giggling and shoving the pot forward at her. “Wait! Wait, before we do all the um…the making-up bits, I want you to have this. I made it especially for you! Did all my research and spent all night on it, it’s something special from your homeland!” She looked a little confused, pointing to herself and the cookpot, sniffing a little before going to inspect it. She leaned forward… Junkenstein seized his chance, whipping the top off the pot as the steam wafted directly into her face. “Surprise!” It hit her full force, and she staggered as if struck. Far from the elated reaction he’d hoped for, his smile faded as she uttered the most horrible noise. It sounded like she was choking and trying to scream through it, her throat closing off as her jaws stretched open. Her fangs lengthened from her gums, still squeaking that awful noise as she grasped onto her neck with both claws. Her eyes rolled up and backward, until the light pink of the veins could be seen against the white sclera…and down she went onto the cold stone of the ramparts, landing in a sad heap of cloth as her spell paper came loose and went fluttering down beside her. Junkenstein stood stunned for a moment, looking down at her. “Um…Mei?” There was no reply. Her eyes remained whited out, her face stuck in an expression of pure agony, and she lay where she had fallen. “Mei? MEI?! MEEEIII!” He threw the cookpot aside, clattering aside and sending the foul-looking slurry mixture all over the ground as he threw himself beside her. He shook her, poked her, pulled her stiff body awkwardly into his arms as he hunched over the seemingly re-dead woman in his lap, rocking her back and forth. “No no no no no…Mei, sweet potato, don’t do this. Don’t do this. Come on, up and at ‘em! I made…I made your favorite…” He looked over at the cooking pot, then down at the blanked face of his lovely assistant. “Your favorite?…” He was gathering her into his arms, preparing to run her back to his lab and to get  help, when he heard a different voice from the same direction Mei had come from. “Allo? Mei? Dr. Junkenstein? What’s all this commotion? I did not expect-” The Witch of the Wilds paused as she came into the moonlight, her expression going stern and extremely unhappy as she beheld the sight before her. Placing a hand on her hip, she stared the Doctor down, and he could feel the air around him turn icy and cold as she asked a little too gently. “Good Doctor Junkenstein…What has happened?” He looked down to the unconscious jiangshi with a grimace. “I…I dunno. I made her a stew. Tried to give some to her and she just…she just…” The Witch sniffed, holding a gloved hand elegantly to her nose as she made her way over to the abandoned cookpot and the spilled contents. “A stew? You think you can feed her stew? Goodness me, that stench! Doctor…what did you put in this stew?” “I found the recipe in an old book, written in foreign. Translated it myself, it’s a stew from her homeland made for jiangshis! Um…what was…” His mind raced, trying to recall all the ingredients he’d used. “Um. Sticky gluten rice, duck eggs, blessed chicken, the blood of a black dog…definitely not any virgin piss or anything but, I made her…the stew?…” The Witch clamped a hand over her face, and for a moment Junkenstein couldn’t tell if she was angry or laughing as her shoulders shook. When she turned back to him, he could tell she definitely was not laughing. “That was not a recipe for stew! Do you realize what you have done? You oafish man, don’t you know what those were?” He looked down at Mei. “Um…” The Witch glared at him, gesturing to the other woman’s unresponsive body. “Congratulations, Doctor. You combined everything you ever needed to defeat a jiangshi…”

[chromemuffin]

Shoukoku no Altair Liveblog (Chapter 17)

Altair’s covers will never stop being lovely. What...is Mahmut wearing, though? This time it’s distinctly European (from where, I have no clue), but as always has the fluffy sleeves and billowing cloth going on (with the addition of lots and lots of lace). I guess it goes since the narrative is following stuff the Empire is doing across the continent. Or, the cover designs are random.

Anyway, we were just escaping a certain shitstorm when very ominous ships spied our main characters who are floating on a tiny little boat.

Chapter 17: City of the Sea

Oooh, we get to meet this guy in volume 4! 

We also seem to be moving to lands far away from home. Looks like a European town of some sort.

I do love that his symbol is a salamander/lizard.

While the new guy (he hasn’t been named yet, but I think this is Abiriga?) has a wasp. Interesting.

Looking spiffy. I love the color palette too. Wonder which country you come from...? I am terrible at guessing based on the clothes alone.

Suleyman! And Katerina! I just...love...how huge her wingspan is. so majestic.

New guy who looks very, very menacing.

This is such a wonderful page, I kind of wish I didn’t have the volume cover as the main picture here haha.

So did Iskander recover? That looks like him...sort of. I LOVE the detail on the wings and tail feathers, plumage is difficult to draw correctly. If anything, the middle row of feathers should be a bit thicker toward the body (yes I stared at pictures of eagle wings for 5 minutes to figure this out).

Anyway. Hello, Venedik ship. I TOLD YOU LAST CHAPTER YOU’D BETTER NOT RECOGNIZE MAHMUT. Damn, did that play about his escapades travel this far or does everyone he freaking meet go on to describe him in great physical detail to everyone else on the continent?

We’ve also got Kyros’s full name. And apparently their arrival by tiny boat was expected.

Maybe you should listen. It’s been a while since you got stabbed, and you’re still DRIPPING blood. Listen to the guy, c’mon, I think he knows a thing or two about injuries.

I have definitely missed all of Mahmut’s serious expressions in my absence. Seriously though, bleeding everywhere.

Maybe...

we can just blame this hysterical outburst on the massive blood loss. just a little. (those stains are never coming off the deck btw)

YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR HELPFUL RESPONSIBLE COMPANION.

Heey it’s the cool guy from the back cover.

Ah, poor Mahmut, he can barely hold on.

Aaand he’s out.

This Brega guy is very chill.

And we get to find out this guy’s name! Okay, so I’ve seen it around as Abiriga (instead of this early translation of Abliga), so I guess I’ll go with that. I know I’m super inconsistent with these names, but I can’t remember the general consensus since I’ve been away from so long and just go with what’s in the manga at the moment. Abliga sounds...much weirder than Abiriga though, so I’ll go with the updated one.

Ok cool drawing of his pen and bandaged hand BUT: it’s now ‘carpet’ month. lol...these random names for the months.

Like I said, Mahmut, you were half delirious from blood loss. They probably just let it slide.

also. he brought his book of poetry with him. :3

This is Abiriga’s room, right? I love all the little details crammed into this one tiny space.

Like owner, like bird. Or like bird, like owner.

wow Kyros. I wonder if it’s intentional. It’s equally likely to be a mistranslation on that “even”.

Is this supposed to be ‘hopping in excitement’?

I think this guy joins them later. If so, he (along with Kyros) will bring some well needed cheer to the group.

STUNNING. It’s so much better when I don’t have to shrink it but it’s so wonderful. Even the design on the ship’s side (hull?) has little bands of light to show how it’s shining in the light.

NEW MAHMUT EXPRESSION: ACQUIRED.

And thanks to Kyros, we even have a name for it this time instead of making 20 guesses. Gawking Mahmut. Gotta admit, he looks very different without his hair in his face. Also, my love for Kyros grows. I love his quips. People will think you’re a country bumpkin. Well, they wouldn’t be wrong. More like, he was born in a desert and seeing so many places with WATER EVERYWHERE might be a bit cool. Maybe.

lol he even warns that he’s going to get ripped off if he keeps acting like a tourist (which happened when he was still in his own country, mind you).

More lovely architecture.

Okay, one. That was a little rude. You definitely knew he was demoted beforehand.

But I can’t be too mad because you’re also likely to be the only one who will consistently be up-to-date with Mahmut’s rank. Like, everyone keeps calling him a pasha when he isn’t anymore.

Even though they’re talking about deception, this is one amazingly upfront political talk here. He didn’t even try to deny it lol. He could have lied and said it took time to mobilize their fleet or they were delayed or something. Instead he just admits: yup, we sailed all the way out and just sat there, no we didn’t intend on helping.

GLAD TO KNOW NONE OF YOU CAN KEEP YOUR HEADS IN FRAGILE POLITICAL SITUATIONS. We need a new team member. Mahmut’s not very...scream-y normally, but he says a lot of things he probably shouldn’t in front of meetings of people with power.

Ah, yes, Mahmut, that’s good. Redirect to more reasonable topics.

Welcome to the real world, guys. I guess this would be more of a business thing with politics, as opposed to the near declaration of war in the first few chapters.

I put these out of order because it fits. He even looks so, so young (and lost, in disbelief) here. Nothing like having what little faith you had in humanity get crushed in an instant, huh.

Ah, I like that Mahmut is at least trying to come up with reasonable things to say. He really wants to comment on the guy’s loyalty as a supposedly good friend of Constantinos, but he’s sort of learned his lesson on that already and shuts up to ask about logical consequences.

So, so ironically, Mahmut is the one who is advertised as the one seeking peace, but all he can think about is going to war. Because to him, there is no other option as much as he hates war. It’s either war or surrender, no in between. I’m assuming Antonio, if it comes down to it, will want to do the same thing the kaesar wanted to do and surrender.

Ah, so both options are up in the air for them.

WHY. YOU WERE DOING SO GOOD. He’s not a pasha anymore.

...are we to assume that bottom panel is how he pictured Mahmut. because.

Anyway, oh the irony.

And all I see is a young man who leaps before he thinks. He’s just...your decision making part of your brain doesn’t develop fully until the early 20s. 

I think it’s mainly pride and loyalty toward’s one’s country motivating him to go to war as the first option, though. That was Constantinos’s downfall, too.

But, so far it seems that one has to give in this environment. You can’t have peace, not go to war, and keep your pride as a country against the invading Empire.

lol so Mahmut is the type to curl up with himself and Iskander and mope/brood, Kyros takes it out on the nearest stone statue. xD

They seemed oddly upfront back there, though.

lol

They literally do not know how this city works. It’s based off Venice, so.

lol it’s Mahmut’s turn to make the funny faces. This is a very Shara face. I kinda miss her.

You are so chill, it’s nice. Hopefully you stay that way.

I also really love his design, like everyone in this manga lol. I like how everyone is quite unique in design without being too outlandish.

Oh! And that’s the end of the chapter. That was a good one. Ah, I wonder what troubles they will run into this time...

← back・onward →

[elee-thesis]

How can Typing express a Tantrum ?

This week I focused on the question "How can taken-for-granted technologies express queerness?", a question posed in the article I read last week by Adrienne Shaw and Katherine Sender. The question wasn't exactly addressed quite as literally as I'd like it to be, so I chose to focus on that as my main question for the week. This week I created two lists, one representing taken-for-granted technologies, and other elements of "queerness", or what I think might encompass queerness in the context of technology. I've included the list below:

I then wrote a script that essentially matched elements of tech with those of queerness at random, and generated new questions.

The three questions that it generated are the following: 1) How can Typing express a Tantrum  ? 2) How can Close Buttons express Promiscuity  ? 3) How can Computer Windows express Silliness  ? "How can Typing express a Tantrum?" Felt like a good place to start to simply see what came from trying to modify typing to represent such a human expression. I first started thinking about technology associated with typing in order to see if I could tap into anything that might be an entry point for creating a tantrum.

Below I've listed out a few typing-based technologies:

• QWERTY keyboard        ○ Meant to make typing faster by grouping frequently used letters closer to the sides of the keyboards (where the hands sit) • "Texting" acronyms        ○ Meant to speedily communicate commonly used multi-word phrases • Autocomplete        ○ Meant to "predict" what a user might want to type next • Autocorrect        ○ Meant to correct a misspelling by guessing the closest word to the misspelling • Speech to Text       ○ Meant to comprehend spoken words and translate them into written text My main question became: how might we envision these productivity, efficiency-based technologies expressing the actions and feelings associated with a tantrum? First I decided to think about the physical symptoms of a tantrums and their cause.

Wikipedia classifies a tantrum as an "emotional outburst" typically "characterized by stubbornness, crying, screaming, violence, defiance, angry ranting, a resistance to attempts at pacification". A tantrum, I could say might consists of the following:

• Unpredictability • Increase in speed/ out of control-ness • Resistance to pacification • Erratic-ness • Nonsense/ incomprehensible-ness • Destruction (?)

Now, what might the above typing-technologies look like with these properties applied?

• QWERTY keyboard       ○ A shifting of keys, moving away from fingers.       ○ Sudden replacement of keys with other letters       ○ Keys springing off the keyboard       ○ Taking on the opposite speed of the user's hands (keys moving even faster away if the users attempt to calmly type) • "Texting" acronyms       ○ An erratic transformation of any string of words into an acronym       ○ Acronyms appearing more like code for a phrase rather than corresponding to the first letter of every word in that phrase • Autocomplete       ○ Nonsense prediction, predicting words that don't make sense in the context       ○ Nonsense prediction, predicting words that aren't real words, but rather strings of characters       ○ A prediction of negative words       ○ A rapid cycling of words • Autocorrect      ○ Automatically correcting any and all words to nonsense words      ○ Choosing words at random to "correct"      ○ Correcting words to misspellings • Speech to Text      ○ Blatant mistranslation      ○ Negative, threatening translation      ○ Nonsense translation      ○ Translating speech back into more speech, but perhaps someone else's voice, saying something else

After thinking more about my prototype, I eventually decided to abandon focusing on a specific piece of technology associated with typing! Instead I found it more productive to try and think about typing in the context of the internet, via a text box or form, something that I think the majority of computer-users have some degree of familiarity with. To me, this felt like a good basis to explore typing from.

Below is a video of the results!

I decided to try and create a text box that essentially responds to how you interact with it. While you type, the box begins to shake, the size of the font changes, and words and phrases such as "UGH!" or "I'm BORED" are typed at random, interjecting the user's typing. At it's most furious, the background changes colors rapidly, the box shakes uncontrollably, and the content of the text both is illegible. This felt like I was able to capture a tantrum, and others seem to think it also felt that way, and that the experience provoked a pretty intense reaction of frustration and anger.

Takeaways

The takeaways are still not totally apparent to me just yet. While the experience was jarring and not something I had experienced before, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. How might experiencing this on a day to day basis change the way I reacted with the internet? Would there be a way to calm down the text I had generated? After doing a bit more research on tantrums, it sounds like they stem from an inability to cope with the situation, resulting in a meltdown instead. Interestingly, a site called parents.com suggests that parents try and give their children their full attention and be mindful of their need to be an autonomous person, with needs and desires. "Look for opportunities to point out his good behaviors, even the small ones. The more favorable attention he gets for a desired behavior, the more likely he is to do it again." Who knows if I should be taking parenting advice from a site called parents.com, but alas, I chose to think more deeply about tantrum prevention according to their tips. How might I praise the text I type for doing a good job of appearing on the page? What might that look like? Ultimately I think this research sent me down the rabbit hole, and I don't quite know what to make of it. Something about it does feel fruitful, I think I need a little more time to fully piece it together.

The big question that comes to mind: should I be creating technology that mirrors human behavior?

I don't have an answer to that, and think this week I should probably do some research on this subject.  

After struggling to interpret my work above, I wanted to do another deep dive on why exactly I'm choosing to focus on this question. I've dumped my brain out about this below:

I want to see if actively destroying the system that most technology is based on might change the way we engage with it. In "[In Situ] Art Body Medicine" Zack Blas writes about queer technology as necessity to counter a society increasingly defined by technology. He asks "Or, is there a subcultural technology that offers empowering, subversive structures and processes to all bodies, producing a freedom that exists as fact—a freedom that is foreign to no one?" How might creating queer technology, specifically that subverts or resists these power paradigms, carve out a space for all kinds of oppressed people to find safety and freedom in their existence? When thinking about destabilizing or disempowering, my first question revolves around how I might create in order to take power away. After reading another interview with Zack Blas, it became clear that technology is rendered "powerless" when it is no longer useful. Blas also writes "I think Queer Technologies wants to work in the interstices of useful and useless, or to find new uses through the useless. Importantly, this is not about deconstruction, it is about use, about doing something, experimenting with new ways of doing and making things happen." The system that I refer to above casts out "useless" as un-useable. In this week's thesis adventure, I plan to focus on the "useless" first. How might I strip certain features of usefulness? This week feels more about the experimentation, meaning, what might com from this? I think the weeks prior will hopefully be able making sense of the useless and how I might "find new uses through the useless".

Secondary Research

In order to think more about human-like technology I think I definitely need to do more research on that. I also want to do more research specifically on "useless" tech, to see what others have done and have to say about it. I plan to check out the internet mostly, but I plan to also contact any designers or artists who might be able to help. Lastly, I've been thinking a bit about "Chindogu" meaning strange/curious tool or device, a practice created by Kenji Kawakami of making useless or mostly useless tools. While I don't know a ton about it, I think it might be interesting to research to see how it might benefit/ the overlap with the queer tech I'm trying to design.

I plan to document this research in a section in my online notebook entitled "research", and also bookmark the articles, text, and literature I find on either Zotero or Are.na. I hope this week can be research-filled, but I'm also wary of getting too deep into research.

The Letter

Thinking about who my research might impact still remains a difficult question. While my question might seem pretty academic in nature, I'm wary of it becoming that, as I'm not someone who really ever felt truly comfortable in academia. So, I don't think the audience is folks in academia, but I'm hoping it'll be accessible to perhaps, young people. Truthfully, I'm struggling to come up with 5 different people that my design is for, but I think young people feels right. I know personally growing up I really heavily relied on spaces like Tumblr that allowed me to express myself and discover who I was and in some ways, continue to be at the time. Of course, Tumblr became more commercial, ended up limiting people with new rules, and users started to drop off, not feeling like it was quite *their* space any longer. I hope at the very least the tech that I end up building can create a system that isn't incentivized by the need to grow larger and create more efficient, productive blog systems.

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To those that feel trapped by their technology, but compelled to use it nonetheless,

I certainly feel this way. I grew up totally enamored by the idea of technology, hoping that I could one day feel powerful using it. Perhaps you felt this too, and today, you feel the ways that this vision has never quite manifested. Yes, technology is "more powerful than ever" but it's never really helped empower you. Instead, you feel that it's using you in the name of success for faceless entities. You have a hard time putting down your phone after scrolling for hours, the systems you use don't quite recognize the person that you are, or perhaps they aggressively try to categorize you into a neat box. Perhaps if you're like me, you feel let down. 

I'm interested in breaking down this system, and while I recognize that it's a giant task, I  plan to start small. What might a world of personal technology look like that doesn't rely on us, for example? How might we redefine what's "useful" on an individual level, veering away from productivity, efficiency, speed. What would it look like to interact with something that like you, is socially anxious, is gentle when you're feeling particularly vulnerable, or unreasonable when it hasn't had its need met? I'm not quite sure how to answer these questions just yet, but I'm curious to see what might come of it.

Write to me to tell you about your story! I'm so curious…

Love, 

Elena

Final Thoughts

Though I've peppered my week's reflection throughout this blog post, I wanted to close out this post with a brief summary. I believe I've gotten closer to the *why* but I still don’t totally understand the *how* or even the *what*, and feel a bit thrown off by it. I understand that the thesis process can sometimes become increasingly confusing as you get more detailed, but I'm definitely having a hard time. My goals for this week are to continue to research, and perhaps think more deeply about my project in the context of how other people have thought about this subject. I plan to do more secondary research and hope that that informs a new project for me to create by next weekend.

[zaruba-needslove]

Black Finale, or more like that second last 5++ minutes broke my brain.

So from now on I’m gonna tell myself that the whole scene of Ha-ram having a different life as 444 (or Leo/444’s runaway partner) narrating was just an imaginary alternate life story told to Ha-ram, while in actual reality, Ha-ram (and there rest of the people who were connected/know about Joon. Not including the Grim Reapers) just forget/lost any memories related to Joon and 444. Because really, even if it was mistranslation by the fan translators or the series writers brain go bonkers while writing those scenes, you are SO not making me accept that Ha-ram’s (and everyone’s) timelines got literally reset with Joon’s being erased from reality cos that just screams paradox all over and I’m not excepting that because until now Black’s writing from ep 1 to 17 and most of 18 had been perfect, minus that Ha-ram being born normal and all the shit implying all of the deaths were undone. But that aside, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the series.