#was gonna post on ao3 but got too scared

[domi091]

The Struggle of Parting Ways

Tails knew Sonic never cried, it just wasn't him, even if Tails had the chance to witness him tearing up once or twice in his short life, but never cried, his eyes shined sometimes, with emotions more than tears, but they never spell, they well up his eyes and steadily stay there until he blinks them away or they dry of sheer will and stubbornness, that was just his brother, that's how he handled his feelings.

Sonic never cries, and he didn't cry when they sat in silence on the floor in Tails's room, packing up the yellow bag that used to carry their whole life and everything to Sonic's name before they settled in the workshop, tails wasn't going to take it at first, he wanted to grow, he wanted to be his own person, he was taking the cyclone instead of the tornado, he wanted to feel like himself and grow into his full potential without any influence, even Sonic's, especially Sonic's

But the rational part of his brain told him that if anything was going to hold him back it certainly wouldn't be their bag, a piece of worn-out fabric, holding more memories than any other item they have now,

and maybe, just maybe a tiny part of his brain wanted it, wanted to have something of theirs, of sonics, to keep with him for reassurance, it was a childish part, a traitorous one, but his fight over it was weak.

When Sonic showed up at his door holding the bag in his hand and offering to help him pack up before his trip, tails couldn't say no, sonic smiled at him, one of his signature grins almost too natural for the situation,

He didn't cry when he stood in the hangar with a less wide smile but a smile nonetheless still planted in his face, quietly watching tails do the last of many checks on the cyclone and putting away all the things he needed.

There weren't many words to be said, they already had that talk, and soon, the quietness became too much to bear. He was too familiar with Sonic's behavior by now, and could always sense the unsaid words that Sonic struggled to voice or refused to say out loud. However, this time, he felt the weight of the unspoken words in the air around them, and for the first time in a while, he couldn't fill the gaps. He could feel Sonic's gaze on him, and he tried his best not to fidget under the intense scrutiny. When he finally mustered the courage to look up at him again, he found Sonic's arms open and his expression soft. too soft tails almost looked away, He hesitated for a few seconds but soon gave in when Sonic gestured for him to come closer.

Sonic didn't cry as he pulled Tails into the hug, not even when his arms tightened around him too much it was almost painful. He cradled the back of Tails' head with his palm, just like he used to do years ago. sonic remained silent as Tails buried his wet nose in his shoulder and cried, despite his best efforts.

He didn't cry sending him off, tails turned on the engine and nodded when Sonic gave him a thumbs up after checking the way in front of him, all clear.

Tails soared into the sky, he blamed the tears welling up in his eyes on the crisp morning air hitting his face too fast, the fact that his eyes got used to it long ago to tear up went ignored, and the fact that he was wearing his goggles completely forgotten, tails didn't want to look back, not now, not at the start of his own journey, not when he probably looked miserable and childish right now, not when that was exactly what he was trying to grow out of, but he couldn't fight the strong feeling that washed over him, forming a lump in his throat, a tiny voice in his head, sounding suspiciously like his younger self, told him that one last look at his brother won't hurt, one last glance for the road, for good luck, for extra comfort, for the cold nights, he turned.

And he saw him, still standing at the hanger door almost too far to see but Tail's trained eyes didn't miss the small shake in his shoulders, sonic was covering his eyes with his palm and his face was looking down, whether Sonic thought tails was too far away to see him anymore or if he just couldn't hold it any longer tails didn't know, but it was too much to witness.

so he looked back ahead trying and failing to swallow the lump away, he pretended that he didn't see anything and that his eyes were clear and not too blurry to see through, years of practice and the way ahead of him memorized like the back of his paw was the only thing keeping the plane airborne.

[spacedoutwitch]

Quick thing to prove I'm alive! I technically have more stuff, but I've been very distracted, and I don't feel like typing up all the descriptions at the moment, and I also don't know how much of it I want to post. Eventually! When I'm paying attention!

[a-ikuoliver]

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞?

what's your favourite scary movie? | k. bakugou— k-atsukibakugou

finally convincing one of your best friends to come to the 30th anniversary re-release of scream, he figures out one of your best-kept secrets

pairing: bakugou katsuki x f!reader w/c: 4.9k warnings: femme reader (called girl, has a pussy, wears makeup n a skirt), death threat kinda lmao, public & unprotected sex, blood mention, knife mention, reader implied to be recon/stealth hero, not beta’d bc i got nervous and we die like men, this is like all lead up my b notes: HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEEEEEN this is sorta inspired by @katsukikitten's post and um i have no explanation for this i was possessed by that post n my fat crush on katsuki and I KNOW scream came out in 1996 imagine the timelines line up lmao crossposted to ao3 • masterlist • recent wips & updates • kofi • askbox

“pleaaaase?” you’re too aware you’re whining, your bottom lip stuck out in a pout, probably only one more emotionless denial away from getting on your hands and knees and begging the stoic hero, “i’ll owe you? i'll do anything you want!”

you caught the mischievous sparkle in his eye at your promise, dropping your head in desperation to your hands still clamped together like you were praying, one final time, you pleaded, “please? it’s the thirty-year-anniversary re-release! i can't miss it!”

bakugou made a sound like he was thinking over your request, eyes glancing between the two tickets in your hand, the blood red title printed at the top calling his name, and your pleading eyes, a gravelly hum low in his throat. his mind had been made up since you asked, already planning on watching the theatrical re-release, it was just his luck your favourite horror movie was his, too. but he didn’t plan on telling you that quite yet, revelling in your desperation after a third rejection; eijirou too scared of a slasher, denki already having plans for a different night, and sero scheduled to patrol.

“you’ll do anything i want just for a movie?” his voice was mildly condescending, but the twitch in his lips had you rolling your eyes and crossing your arms like a grumpy child bargaining with a guardian, “if that’s what it takes!”

exasperated, you throw your head back with a groan, about to turn to him and announce your forfeit when he beats you to it, pinching the extra ticket from your hand, a satisfied smirk painted on his lips, “i’ll pick you up friday night, ya owe me one.”

katsuki walked away without even waiting for your response, leaving you simultaneously frustrated at your friends toying with you, and cheering at finally having found someone to join you.

punctual as always in his adult years, katsuki was outside your door friday night half an hour earlier than when you told him to drop by and get you, fists banging on your door while you were still tugging your skirt over your hips, just getting the zipper up when you swung the door open, already growling at your friend standing in the doorway in front of you, “i heard the first thirteen times you knocked.”

you toyed with the hem of your shirt, stepping aside to let him inside, promptly looking him up and down to admire the casual outfit he wore, far different from the hero costume you were used to seeing on him, the simple black cotton stretching over his broad chest somehow emphasising the muscles there more than the tight costume. there was a hint of a necklace underneath the collar of the shirt, the thin line of silver glinting under the lowlights of your hallway, similar jewellery on three of his fingers, and his blond locks sitting normally, spiked up around his head, his undercut leaving his ears free to show off the handful of piercings there. glancing back up, your eyes locked on his glinting ruby eyes, already watching you drink him in, the eye contact only breaking when he tapped his heavy boots on the floor just inside your door, “quit whining, how long are ya gonna be?”

you rolled your eyes at his impatience, waving him off while fixing your hair in your reflection in the glass beside the door, “give me two minutes.”

you flitted back up the hallway, swift and silent as he was used to seeing you be, leaving him beside the door to take a glimpse around your living room, taking in the little plush ghostface sat front and centre on your couch, blood red felt stitched over its soft knife, a stack of novels beside the couch, a few titles he recognised as classics, and more horror novels he knew nestled between scattered romance titles. he heard a few more heavy bumps from your bedroom, just out of his view before you emerged once more, in a tight shirt, gorey graphic printed in the middle, a sweater thrown over your arm and boots looped in your fingers, a cute garnet charm dangling off the back of each loop of fabric, “you want me to fill up your car?”

your question had his eyebrows shooting into his hairline, “the fuck are you on about?”

“to repay you?” you asked dumbly, stepping closer to place your key in the lock, clicking it locked once your tall friend ducked under it and stepped outside onto the driveway. he sucked his teeth disapprovingly, unlocking his car with you bounding over to the passenger side, jumping into the seat to wiggle your boots onto your feet, he only dignified you with a response once he was seated on the dark leather, huffing out a grumpy, but demanding, “you’re not payin’,”

reversing from your driveway, he interrupted when you opened your mouth to argue back, “besides, i haven’t decided what i want from ya yet,” katsuki smirked at you, vermillion eyes darting from his rear view mirror to you when he propped his arm behind your headrest to make sure the road was clear, speaking again with all your focus studying the way his lips moved with every low syllable, “it’s more fun keepin’ you in suspense.”

head dropping from the clouds, you glared at him, unsure if you were more annoyed at his self assured grin or yourself for throbbing from it, leaning down to tie the lace of your boots, “fine, last time i'm offering though.”

katsuki shook his head, exiting onto the road towards the cinema, ending the conversation there, and leaving you both to settle into a comfortable air, sometimes dropping into silence, sometimes a casual conversation about your hero work until you reached the quiet theatre, arriving with plenty of time to spare before your screening. the lot was dead, nowhere near as busy as you expected it to be, katsuki parking with no one else beside him for at least twenty feet in each direction.

locking his car, you both made your way inside, side by side through the glass doors of the cinema, decorated for today with original posters, thin black fabric on the walls, the doors spattered with dark red fake blood, even the employee checking tickets adorning a flimsy ghostface mask. you were practically buzzing with excitement, squeezing his forearm when you saw the guy ahead, handing your ticket over for him to scan. the corner of his lip twitched in a grin, never seeing you geek out quite so much like you were right now, your eyes shining with excitement right up until he turned to face the fabric screen playing static.

the static soon faded into the production logos, and finally, the title screen; scream. you were vibrating in your seat, eyes glued to the screen so much you hardly had any of the popcorn he’d got for you both to share, only occasionally did you reach for the cup to take large sips, all without tearing your eyes from the screen. katsuki was even beginning to question the last time you blinked.

gradually, as the movie went on, he noticed your minute squirming more and more, first dismissing it as discomfort from sitting in the one spot too long, but the longer he fixated on you, the more he noticed your inability to remain still, your legs crossing and uncrossing every five minutes. your clothes rubbed against the fabric of the chair with every wriggle, the rustling having him observe you from the corner of his eye more than he watched the final act, deep red irises catching you swipe your tongue across your lips, your sparkling eyes darting around the screen, your black skirt doing nothing to hide the way your thighs were pressed tightly together.

your wide pupils reflected the carmine on the screen, heart eyes locked on the blood spattered slashers on the screen, your ears blocking out the monologue to focus entirely on the villain’s bloody face, lips just parting to release a short puff of breath you didn’t know you were holding in your heaving chest.

realising he was staring, katsuki clenched his sharp jaw and focused back on the crescendo of the third act, trying to ignore the way you kept writhing right up until the credits were rolling. you stayed fixated, entranced, for a minute longer, unable to hide your smile when the lights slowly turned back up, illuminating your shiny, plump lips and your hungry eyes. without wasting another second you started gushing over the movie without looking at katsuki, half of your words running into the next without so much as a breath between them, sounding more like the obsessive deku the longer you prattled on about the characters and theories.

you were still chatting his ear off when you both made your way down the carpeted stairs towards the exit, past the decorations and blood splatter once more, out of the dead theatre, spotting only one or two employees left cleaning counters and floor as you left, their costume discarded on the counter as they swept.

exiting into the night, a gentle icy wind blew through your body, making a shiver wrack your body. you gripped katsuki's wrist to drag him faster to his car, desperate to retrieve your forgotten sweater from underneath the passenger seat before your lips turned blue. your tugging did little to change his pace, his heavy boots stomping along the paved car park, illuminated only by the moon and a singular lit lamppost just outside the cinemas doors, his car shrouded in the darkness of the night, alone in the lot.

chirping as it unlocked, you swung the door open immediately, digging around under the passenger seat where you knew you’d dropped the sweater, not paying attention to your friend climbing into the driver's seat beside you, still rummaging around under the seat when he made a disapproving sound. finally getting hold of the soft fabric of the sweater, you pulled it from under the seat, and into your lap to untangle the sleeves of it while eyeing katsuki, catching the signature scowl gracing his lips, although this one seemed tinged with confusion, tongue clicking against his teeth as the dashboard made a beeping sound once more before it turned dark. you watched him try it once more with a frustrated curse, “useless fucking thing.”

you pulled the sweater over your head, confusion painted on your face now, too, as you watched him reach under the steering wheel to click the lock for the metal bonnet.

“what’s going on?” curiously, you leaned over to peer at the dashboard with him, watching his nimble fingers unbuckle his seatbelt and climb from the car.

“‘m not sure yet, battery might be dead.” he grunted, closing the driver's door to go around the front of the car. you watched him through the pristine windshield until he was blocked by the bonnet being lifted and locked up into place. you followed suit, meeting him around the front, scarlet eyes darted around the metal and tubes and batteries, a muscular arm flexing when he squeezed the metal in frustration, swearing once more.

“shit, i’ll need to call for a jump.” you watched him think, sadly studying the battery that was ruining your plans with your bottom bedside drawer. “oh.”

“wait in the car, i’ll call ei to come help us.'' without question, you nod, studying the way he leaned back on the car, pulling up the number pad, rapidly typing in both of your closest friends' number. sparing one last glance up at him, you caught the unreadable look on katsuki’s face, an expression of his you’d never seen before, crimson eyes glaring down at the technology in front of him.

climbing once more into the car, you relaxed as much as you could into the seat, slipping your heavy boots off your feet with your body thrumming, no way to sit comfortably with the way your pussy throbbed against the seam of your panties, your hips jolting forward whenever you sat a certain way, the slashers bloody ghost mask imprinted behind your eyelids each time you blinked. your cheeks were hot, embarrassed to be so desperate from a movie, but still praying eijirou would rush to save you both to solve katsuki’s problem and let you get home to fix yours.

you squirmed in the seat, your skin hot on the leather while you eyed the dark streets, hope growing in you with every car that drove down the street, only to be crushed when they continued past the cinema. waiting for a moment longer with quivering thighs squeezed together, you finally huffed and opened the passenger door, “katsuki? did he answer?”

a beat went by, nothing responded to you except the soft chirp of crickets nestled in the dark of the greenery sprinkled around.

“katsuki?” you repeated, your voice a bit louder, and still you heard nothing back, the silence interrupted by the vibrating of your phone.

left all alone, sweetheart? 12:41am

you reread the text from the unknown number with your heart in your throat, nervously watching a typing bubble pop up beneath it.

you climbed off the seat warmed by your body to take on the cool night in search for your silent friend, the skin of your thighs erupting in goosebumps the moment your light feet landed on the ground, wrapping tingling arms around your torso, you attempted to rationalise while you watched the bubble disappear. rounding the front of the car, you scanned the space in front of the car, expecting to see the hulking blond standing there, ready to jump out and scare you, instead, the spot was empty, not a trace he’d even been there to begin with.

brave little hero. you’re not the type to run headfirst into danger.12:42am

let’s play a game, see if you can win him back, sweetheart. 12:42am

your breath was knocked from your chest reading the text, your heartbeat deafening when you choked out his name once more, your tone painted with worry.

“i swear to god, if this is a joke i'll make sure no one hears from you ever again.” shivering, and not from the cold, your voice shook, wide eyes not conveying the threatening aura you were trying to achieve, nor your entire trust in this only being a joke.

and if you get an answer wrong i’ll make sure no one finds you. 12:42am

your blood ran cold feeling the phone buzz again, your face still shamefully warm when your cunt throbbed at the threat, fear and need settling in the pit of your stomach. sucking in a breath, you shouted at nothing, “fine!”

you’ll be a good final girl. 12:43am

if you’re smart about it. 12:43am

you crept around the car silently, sticking close by the lifted hood to scan the darkness around you, sneaking around the side to get back inside the car, desperate to get back to safety, wanting to think this through, to be smart about getting katsuki back by your side. seeing no one, you darted for the driver’s side door, tugging on the smooth handle with trembling hands, the lock unlatching only for a moment before being shoved shut once more with a strong, scarred hand planted on the window, causing you to squeal in surprise when the door slammed with a thud.

“wrong move, final girl,” his deep voice whispered in your ear, feeling like it was echoing all around you, his free hand clamping around your hip to keep your weak legs upright. your stalker smiled into your hair, ego swelling at how easily he had you worked up from a few threatening texts, “how wet are you right now?”

katsuki rasped, voice impossibly deeper, his nose bumping your temple when he spoke. heat flushed through your body, embarrassment pooling in your stomach, only adding to the drippiness of your needy pussy.

“what?”

“what?” he mocked, “you think i wouldn’t notice you humpin the fuckin air in there? what was it, sweetheart? the blood, or the fear?”

sharp teeth emphasised his final question, canines catching on your sensitive lobe, his hand tightening around your hip, pinning you hard between his thick chest and tumid car.

“i don't have any idea what youre talking about.” your voice was an uneven, unconvincing murmur, your breath fogging on the window in front of your face, blurring your view of him, bar a sliver of the cherry-red of his irises reflecting back at you. you felt the fervid heat of his eyes on yours as if there wasn’t a single obstacle between you and him, the burn of his gaze dropping down to your lips when you surrendered a shuddering breath.

“you don’t?” you shook your head, barely disturbing the air around you, more shy than you ever had been since knowing him, “that didn’t turn you on at all?”

you shook your head once more, your gaze averting to the ground beneath your feet, suddenly interested in the shine of the lamplight on his boots instead of his interrogating, knowing he already knew the answers to every question he asked you.

his calloused fingertips ran up your plush, pillowy thighs, blunt fingernails digging in at the peak, a mere inch away from your dripping core, “c’mon, final girl, tell the truth, and i’ll stop.”

he got impossibly closer, crowding over you with a thick forearm sliding around your waist, settling in where he remained still, the hairs on the back of your neck standing when you felt his gentle breath there. your hips jerked forward into his biting nails, surely leaving half-moon indent in the soft skin underneath them. you felt his cocky smile in your hair when a low mewl reverberated in your throat, your bitten lips smothering the sound almost imperceptibly, “please, don’t stop.”

katsuki heard you, his ears so attuned to your voice, he’d hear you in a sea of half a million people, loud and clear. still, he let his fingers drop further away from where you needed him, incessant in his teasing, “what was that? “please stop”?”

his hold around you loosened, his boot disappearing from your view when he took a step back, this time it was your fingers digging into the skin of his forearm, pulling him close to you, “no, katsuki, please don’t stop.”

he didn’t need to hear a single word more from you, his cock already straining against his pants hearing your shaky voice beg only twice for him. he cursed again, his fingers gliding over your skin, not going to deny you, or himself, the pleasure of dipping his fingers into your sopping cunt.

a high pitched mewl escaped you when he swiped his thumb over your slit, the soaking fabric still separating you two doing nothing to weaken the pleasure his skilled fingers brought you, enough to have your hips bucking into his hold again. katsuki’s devilish laugh tickles the back of your neck, your eyelids becoming heavy with need filling your veins, adrenaline keeping your heart beating loudly in your ears, and lightning through your body when he finally slips his fingers under the waistband of your panties, hardened fingertips free to touch your core any way he desired. snaking his free hand up your body, katsuki brushed the hair from your neck, letting his hand rest slackly at the base of your throat, leaving the junction where your shoulder met your neck free for him to plant his lips there, sucking your skin into his mouth, bringing your blood as close to the surface of your skin as he could without a buck knife of his own. you crooned, warm body melting into the blond’s touch, stumbling back over your own feet when he slid his hand under your skirt to pull you back a foot by your hip, holding you hard to his chest, a thick, powerful arm holding you upright. your lustful eyes were trained on his hand when it abandoned its hold on your throat, committing every flaw, divot, vein and scar to memory while he yanked the shiny handle, shoving it further out of his way with his shoulder before he let you drop forward again; missing his strength to keep your goo-like legs holding you up, you stumbled forward into the car, catching yourself on the driver's seat with your forearms, a stammer forced from your chest when you landed on your palms. you peer over your shoulder at him with wild, hazy eyes, adjusting yourself up on your hands, his hot hands pushing down on the small of your back to keep you firmly against the leather before you get too comfortable, marvelling at the feel of your hammering heart against the soft seat.

katsuki’s hands at the nape of your neck and the small of your back forced you to arch your back further, your plush ass pressing back into him when he lifted your head a couple of inches off the material by your hair, eliciting a high-pitched gasp from you, “say it again.”

there wasn’t a trace of a request in his tone, it was a simple demand, accentuated by the large hand pressing down harder on your back, contorting your body in an uncomfortable pose you’d be relieved of the second he had your approval once more, your trembling figure entirely in control of him despite his incredible strength holding you down.

“i need you, ‘ki, don’t stop.” your head fell forward, your ass pushed back against his hard cock, your stammer breathless but clear when you spoke, your shining lips parting to moan lowly when he released your hair to tease your core again, deft fingers fucking into you again, deeper than they were before when he was focused on taking your attention from the stupid slasher on the screen inside. now his attention was turned to having your pussy clenching him as soon as possible.

the blond behind you groaned, feeling your tight cunt hug his digits, squeezing like you were trying to swallow him deeper and deeper, mesmerised by the way you took him, your blushing, wanton face already marking the soft material of the seat with your foundation and he wasn’t even close to being done toying with you. you were already soaking after the little he was giving you, the movie and now his teasing ministrations having you dripping, hole clenching in anticipation; unnecessary for him to continue pumping his fingers in and out of you other than for his own lewd entertainment, needing to commit the sight to memory in case it never happened again.

“keep talkin’ to me, final girl, you want me to stop?”

you shook your head, your face buried in the crook of your elbow and your back arching into his touch, a long moan escaping you, getting closer and closer to cumming around his fingers, lewd squelching echoing in the dark night.

“you want me to fuck you like this?”

“mhm!”

“you thinkin’ of me or that pathetic slasher, huh?” katsuki's fingers curled as he whispered, forcing a choked gasp from you, any answer slipping from your mind when his fingertips grazed that sensitive spot inside you, your brain going blank, your vision turning white.

colour returned to your vision far too quickly, your bleary eyes snapping open, staring behind you where katsuki stood tall, one hand still pressing down on your back but no other part of him touching you, his wet fingers at his mouth instead of inside your aching pussy, sucking the two into his mouth, smirking down at your shocked face, one eyebrow raising when your mouth bobbed open and shut noiselessly.

“you’re not gonna be thinking of that pitiful ghostface when i fuck you,” the moonlight shining behind him cast his menacing face in darkness, only his eyes and sharp canines glowing from the shadows when he spoke, voice deep and gravelly with his own desire, unable to deny himself your sweet cunt any longer. his dexterous fingers working the shining steel button on his pants undone while you beam up at him, entranced by his bared teeth, narrow scarlet eyes watching you, blond locks hanging over his face when his stare shifted down, lining himself up with your sloppy hole, “you’re gonna be thinking. of. me.”

he sunk into you, word by demanding word, inch by salacious inch, until your eyes were rolling back into your skull, cock moulding your throbbing, silken cunt to the shape of him. 

“katsukiiiii,” you panted, earning a sharp snap of his hips bumping your forward in the car across the seat, your soft sweater doing nothing but glide against the material, digging your fingernails into the soft leather, you tried to hold yourself still, an impossible feat against the strength of his movements.

katsuki’s hot hands seized your hips, pulling you back in time with him thrusting forward, his hips pressing into your squishy thighs hard enough to leave a dark bruise before he was pulling back out to fuck you hard again, his dominance making your pussy squeeze tighter around him, leaving you to helplessly cry out broken stammers of his name beneath him until your voice broke, your breathing growing faster, harder, with his movements, “oh-h, ka-katsuki, ‘m close.”

your slurring words had him fucking ever harder into you, helping you chase the orgasm you’d been desperate for since the second act, shifting your hips to have the head of his cock brushing the spongy spot deep inside your pretty cunt, hitting it again and again until you were squealing, creamy cum gushing out of you to collect around the base of his thick cock in a lewd ring. despite your spasming pussy, katsuki’s vice-like grip didn’t loosen, virile fingers splayed over your shaking hips, pulling them up to keep his pace, dragging his veiny cock in and out of you, watching your cum gather and drip down him to the ground below.

his cock felt like it was in your throat, every thrust forcing out garbled moans into the night air, even a deep sigh escaping the blond above you when your thighs twitched and trembled again. katsuki slid a hand up your spine from your hip, pushing your face back down with a strong grip on the back of your skull, leaning forward to grind deeper inside you, revelling in your muffled whine, watching the way your eyes widened before rolling back again, “you’re gonna cum again?”

katsuki’s mocking tone was uneven, tinged with his own impending end, but you still heard the cocky smile in his voice, his ego ever ballooning at the ease he worked you up, revelling in the warm squeeze of your thirsty cunt around his cock, more and more wetness dripping from you to collect around him. still, you nodded, too delirious to even try and deny the effect he had on you, your tense thighs and delirium only inflating his ego more.

“who makes you feel like this, huh?” his voice was a hoarse whisper now, thick eyebrows scrunching when you squeeze around him again, just from his voice and the stretch of his cock.

“you! you do, katsuki!” you choke out his name once more, your voice still muffled against the seat, his hand at the small of your back doing little to stop you standing on the very tip of your toes to swallow his cock deeper until he matched you with his own stammer of your name, pushing your head down harder as he stood up again, fucking rougher into you, faster, abusing your hole to get to his own end with you.

repeating his name like a mantra, your whole body tensed under him like you’d been shocked, a long whine of his name when you came intensely around him again, your high pitched keen making him follow suit, holding you firm against him, emptying himself into you, thrusting shallowly twice more to fuck his cum deep into you before he laid atop you with a low groan of his own.

you whimpered underneath him, your cunt still tight around him while you both started to calm, heart rates returning to normal, sweating skin cooling rapidly in the night air. you both laid still for a moment, bodies relaxing into the leather like you were in a liquid state, a soft whimper escaping you every so often as the last waves of your orgasm washed over you; similarly, katsuki remained still, gently releasing his grip on the back of your head to hold himself up above you before gingerly standing back up behind you, slowly pulling out of you with a soft wince at the sensitivity, glancing back up to study your face when you shivered at the loss of his warm body.

he leans over you to twist his keys in the ignition, the car starting with a low rumble, air blowing from the vents quickly warming both you and the car. you gawk up at him, stars still in your eyes when you connect the dots, “your car’s been fine the whole time?!”

he slides your soaking wet panties back up your thighs, snapping the waistband against your skin once they sat comfortably on your hips again,“obviously, the final girl’s supposed to notice that.” 

“the final girl was a bit preoccupied.” you glare, gasping again when his fingers loosely loops around your throat to pull you up to stand in front of him again, lust dripping from his near-silent voice, “well, it’s just your luck the final girl owes me a favour…wanna see if you’ll survive the sequel?"

© all works belong to @a-ikuoliver, @gwen0m, and dlirious on archive of our own, do not plagiarise, translate, repost, feed my works into ai or recommend my work on other platforms, or bind my fanworks for sale.

[woodchoc-magnum]

all these broken parts

all these broken parts buck/eddie, 56k, mature

author: woodchoc_magnum

read the tags: angst with a happy ending, getting together, pining, depression, post-season 7, b/t breakup, buddie roommates era

summary: Set post-Season 7, where Eddie is struggling with depression, trying to put his life back together, and hopelessly in love with his best friend.

excerpt:

"Eddie, come on. You have to get up. You can't just sleep and hope that things will miraculously get better. He's angry, yeah, and it's going to take time, but you have to keep moving."

"I don't want to keep moving," Eddie snaps at him, sitting up in bed, positively fuming. "That's all I've ever done! I get shot down in a helicopter and I just keep moving. Shannon leaves me and I just keep moving. Shannon fucking dies and I just keep moving! I nearly died and I just kept moving – well, I'm done! Nothing is better! Everything is worse! No matter what I do, I keep hurting people, but if I just stay here in bed, I can't hurt anyone." With that, he curls up into a ball with his back to Buck, pulling a pillow over his head.

Eddie's stubborn, but so is Buck, and he decides to play dirty.

"You're hurting me," he says quietly.

"How?" Eddie spits. "I'm not doing anything to you."

He takes a seat on the edge of the bed. "I'm scared."

"Scared."

"Yeah. That you're gonna sink so deep into this thing that I won't be able to pull you out," he says honestly, "and that one day… you'll be gone. I'll lose you. I think about what Chim went through with Maddie, and… I'm to blame there too, you know? I knew she was hurting; I knew she wasn't well, but I didn't do enough, so… I'm not gonna let you run away from this, or hide away, or… any of that shit. I'll stay here. I'll drive you to your appointments. I'll sleep on the floor in your room if that's what it takes to keep you here."

He glances over at Eddie, and registers the slight shake of his shoulders – Eddie's crying, in silence, but still. Buck's words are having an effect.

"You remember when you told me that I'm not expendable?" he continues. "Well, you are irreplaceable. You're my best friend in the whole fucking world. I love you. I would do anything for you, so… that's why I'm here. And that's why you won't chase me away."

Eddie lets out a shuddering sob. "Fuck," he blurts out. "God fucking damn it."

"Yeah, you are stuck with me," Buck says ruefully. "Bet you're regretting that right about now."

"No, I– never," Eddie weeps. "Never. Okay?"

Buck glances over at him again – he's crying, hugging himself, and Buck just can't leave him on his own anymore. So he slides over the bed, spoons around Eddie and wraps his arms around him in a burly hug.

Eddie freezes, at first, but then he relaxes, letting out a sigh as he allows Buck to hold him. They lie in silence together, until Eddie slides a hand down Buck's arm, and entwines their fingers together.

"I got you," Buck says in his ear.

"Yeah," Eddie murmurs. "You do."

Read the rest on ao3

[linatheweirdooo]

Don't hurt me

I wrote this fic on ao3 originally as a vent, but due to the positive reception I'm gonna post it here too :3 here's the link to it on ao3 if you wanna give it a kudos or reply or read any other stuff I wrote bc I don't plan on posting that much on here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56567776/chapters/143770822#workskin

TW; implied S/A (it's hurt/comfort but the subject is mentioned and implied)

~~

It all happened so fast.

The sensation of water trickling down her synthetic skin, the studs of soap covering her body. It was a normal day, V just wanted to take a shower to clean herself off after an especially bloody hunt. Until she slipped.

Her entire frame collapsed onto the soapy ground, and her optics struggled to make out what was happening. Her processor overwhelmed with the sensory information from all fronts, it retorted to its only defense; to connect this situation to something familiar, something that has happened before.

In her disoriented state, instead of seeing the shower in her home, she saw a room in the old manor. And instead of feeling water slide down her hydrophobic shell, she felt hands. Hands that were distinctly human. Hands of the people whom she still can't remember the faces of, violating her. Touching her in places she shouldn't be touched, abusing parts of her body that are too sensitive for it.

This was stupid. She was a robot, she was a servant, why would she care if she was used? Wasn't that what she was made for? She shouldn't be whining.

Poisonous words from the person seemingly executing this echoed in her audio receptors. Even when it happened, V could bearly make out proper sentences.

V just yelled for them to get away, but her pleas proved vain when nothing changed.

Eventually, she succumbed to it, with only whimpers and muffled sobs with the occasional "stop" escaping her mouth.

~~

N was out today, which only left Uzi and V in their home, but the purple worker couldn't help but feel slightly worried by how long her girlfriend had been in the shower, she was usually quick.

But Uzi brushed it off. Maybe she's doing some self care for herself. V was responsible, they've known each other for a while now. Long enough to build a life with her and N.

That was until she heard V's voice, muffled by the walls of the bathroom and too far away from Uzi to make out any actual words. But why would V be yelling? There's nobody else in the house other than her, right?

Uzi panicked, but took a deep breath. She needed to stop assuming the worst all the time. So she calmly (albiet still quickly) walked up to the bathroom she was in and knocked on the door.

"V? You okay?"

No reply. At least, no reply that was directed at Uzi. It was hard to tell what she was saying, which worried her. Uzi does know V has a... complicated past... but even after getting together, she didn't talk about it more than she needed to. What if she was stuck in some kind of flashback?

No. No jumping to the worst case scenario. She'll just ask her again.

"V? Did something happen? Can I come in?"

No reply again. This was now a cause for concern, so Uzi opened the door, only to see her girlfriend on the floor of the shower sobbing and whimpering.

Immediately she ran up to V. But the disassembly drone sat up and made eye contact with Uzi.

Fear. The thought that V was even capable of the feeling had never even crossed Uzi's mind, but the hollow yellow rings that replaced her eyes were all that stared back her girlfriend.

V looked sad, tired, and scared, and while she has shown more emotion in front of her partners than she would to anyone else, this was different. It was raw, it was unfiltered, and it was heartbreaking. Her wet hair covered parts of her face and water was still pouring over her. She looked helpless.

"V?" Was all Uzi got to say before the disassembly drone tensed up and her endoskeleton started to shake. Pants and suppressed sobs were all that escaped the drone in front of Uzi, and when she tried getting closer, V cowered, pushing herself on the floor into the corner of the shower.

With her knees to her chin, one cone-shaped arm wrapped around her legs and the other in a protective position, hiding most of her face, V looked...vulnerable.

Noticing her girlfriend's reaction, Uzi moved backward. V must've thought she was someone else. Why else would she be this scared at the sight of her own girlfriend? Did Uzi do something?

V seemed to relax slightly, but she still looked like a helpless, terrified kitten in the rain. It hurt Uzi to see someone so important to her look like that. Only a year or two ago, Uzi would be scared of V, stating what she would think would be her final words if she crossed by any disassembly drone. Never in a million years did she ever entertain the idea of dating not one, but TWO of them. And now one of them is terrified of her.

As Uzi prepared to speak again, she heard V mumble something mixed with a sob. Uzi's audio receptors may not be as advanced as her girlfriend's, but she could make out a few words.

"Don't hurt me" were those words. The rest were lost to the sounds of whimpering and water from the shower hitting the floor, but Uzi's heart sank at the thought of what those words implied.

"V... it's me, Uzi"

It was a softer tone and volume, and it seemed to have worked as V relaxed a little bit and lowered her hand. However, she was still shaking and her eyes were still hollow.

Uzi leaned down to get on V's level, in an attempt to make her more comfortable. "it'll be okay" she comforted. Maybe it won't be, she had no way to tell, but it may help calm V down. She grabbed the towel V had hung on the hanger. "Can I get you out of here?"

V, still shaking and her eyes still hollowed, nodded. She didn't say anything, as if her voice were being held under a lock and key.

Uzi got into the shower and turned the water off as V stared at her, with digital tears hanging from the eyes displayed on her screen.

The worker drone reached out a tender hand to her girlfriend's cheek, which she immediately leaned into and closed her eyes.

Now that she was closer to V, the stress lines under them were more obvious, and as she brought back her hand, Uzi draped the towel over V like a blanket.

"Do you want me to dry you off or do you want to do it yourself?" Uzi asked in a loving tone.

V took a bit to respond, but she then replaced her eyes with text that read "I'll do it, but stay here" before adding on a "please".

Uzi nodded in response, and V blinked away the text as Uzi used one hand to interlace her fingers with V's and the other supporting her other arm, lifting it up and allowing V's limp body to stand at its full 5'11" height.

V took the towel that was hastly draped over her and wrapped it around herself after she had dried off the plastic and silicone that shielded her insides from the elements.

Uzi looked back at V once she was done but before Uzi got the chance to marvel at how beautiful her girlfriend looked, V collapsed onto Uzi before clearing her throat and spoke.

"Can you..." She paused, as if she was incapable of asking Uzi to do anything for her.

"Can you brush my hair?"

Her voice was scratchy from the crying, and her voice was still shaking despite thinking all the tears were gone. Maybe it was from embarrassment. The strong and terrifying Serial designation V asking for help? She might as well be dead at that point.

"of course..." Uzi smiled before going onto her tip toes and closing the gap between the two drones in a short, soft, loving kiss.

~~~~~

Uzi walked out to let V change, and after a few minutes she saw her girlfriend in a baggy purple sweater collapse into a hug, burying her head into Uzi's shoulder.

"..'m sorry for scaring you" was all V said, partially muffled by Uzi's shirt.

But Uzi just hugged her back and smiled into V while running her fingers through her girlfriend's still partially wet hair. "Its okay, it's not your fault"

V must've believed her. Or didn't feel like arguing. Because she just hummed in reply before pulling away from Uzi and sitting on the edge of their bed infront of the worker.

As Uzi played with V's hair, she wondered what must've happened. Who did V think she was? Why was she scared? Was she stuck in some kind of memory? What was happening in it?

She didn't want to ask too much. V was already secretive about her past even after getting together. But if it was hurting someone she cares about so much, she should at least ask her if she's okay now.

So she asked.

"What happened in there?" And immedietly felt bad. What if she was forcing V to re-live this memory? Was she overstepping a boundary?

"Uh.." V stopped in her tracks, almost trying to remember what just happened before Uzi cut off her train of thought.

"N-not that you have to tell me! It's just-" Uzi sighed. "I just want to know if you're okay"

A moment of silence passed, but to Uzi it felt as though it was a thousand years, and to V, half a second.

V took a deep breath before adjusting her position so that her knees were to her chest and she rested her face on them. "No... you deserve to know. Just-" another beat passed. "- just... i-it's just hard to talk about... uh.."

It was hard to keep talking, trying to figure out which words to carefully string together to form a cohesive sentence. She shouldn't be nervous, but she hasn't really talked about this to anyone. Her mind just kept flashing back to moments she has tried so hard to forget every time she wants to attempt to tell the most important person in her life what happened.

"V? You okay? You don't have to talk, you know"

Shit. She zoned out.

V collected herself and rehearsed what she'd say in her head. Why was she overthinking? She can trust Uzi.

"I..." Her eyes trailed down, and Uzi moved to the left of V to get a better look at her.

"Th-this was like, a long time ago and-"

She stared at her hands, and watched as she fiddled with them to relieve a bit of her anxiety. Or was it fear? Nervousness? Even she can't pinpoint the feeling. But, she does know she needed to talk about it.

"When I was a- uhm... w-when I worked for the Elliot manor... there were some...bad people" she took a slightly shaky breath. Uzi could probably see that V wasn't okay. Maybe that's why she rested her hand on top of V's after she said that. And despite the topic at hand, and emotions racing through her head, V made eye contact with her girlfriend and smiled. Not the sadistic smile she sported in hunts, or the beaming one she wore when Uzi said that magic three-letter word after asking her out. It was soft. It was okay. She's safe with Uzi.

So she took another shaky breath, and continued. "They hurt me. And... the ways they did that, varied..."

Uzi's digital eyes displayed slanted lines, reminiscent of human eyebrows when someone was sad.

"A-and one of those ways... included parts of me that I still wonder why I have. Maybe it was to feed their sick fantasies" it was hard to talk about, she figured by now the lump in her throat would've left but her voice cracked as she finished that last sentence.

V opened her mouth so speak, but choked on a sob that she had been trying to suppress. Damn it. She can't be crying now. She supposed to be scary. What was she even doing right now? She was stupid to think she can be vulnerable. She's supposed to be big and scary.

While V spiraled in her thoughts, hypocritically degrading herself for things she did three seconds ago, she snapped out of it by a sudden weight, and arms wrapping around her.

It was Uzi hugging her.

Suddenly, she couldn't control it anymore, and V let out more sobs as she finally broke down. Uzi held her through all of it, she even moved in front of V to face her. And as V sobbed and cried into the crook of Uzi's neck, she wrapped her own arms around the worker, despretly shaking and clawing onto her to make sure Uzi will never leave her side.

Between V's slightly muffled sobs and sniffles, Uzi lifted her head slightly to plant a kiss on V's cheek and whispered comforting words into her audio receptors.

"I'm here now" "Its okay now" "im sorry", they all helped but sounded the same to V. Until Uzi said a particular phrase.

"You didn't deserve that"

What a joke. She absolutely did. Maybe she hadn't done anything bad when it happened but the things that were done to her was probably something whatever higher being looking down on her did to punish her ahead of time. Maybe they thought it would stop her from doing the horrible things she did later in her life as a disassembly drone. In reality V didn't deserve Uzi. Or even N. She doesn't deserve loving partners who care about her. She doesn't deserve the affection she received from them or any forgiveness that they gave her.

But V couldn't even muster the energy to say that. Uzi would probably tell her it was absurd to think that way. Maybe it was. It was hard for someone programmed to serve people to imagine those people may be bad.

At some point in her thoughts, V's sobs got reduced to just occasional hitches in her breath, and her digital tears were replaced with tired lines under golden eyes. And they were very visible to Uzi, who pulled away from the hug and was now holding V's larger hands that were slightly illuminated by the yellow triangles on them.

"Hey, it's getting late. Do you want to go to bed now?"

V blinked a few times and looked at Uzi, then to her own hands. Hands that were made to kill people like Uzi. But right now, hands that were being held by her. And she watched as Uzi's thumbs brushed along her palms.

"Yea. Maybe" V finally sighed, and leaned onto Uzi, who pushed her own weight towards her and hugged her harder.

An "I love you" escaped the purple drone as she rubbed soothing circles on her girlfriend's back. It almost made V start crying again.

She was fine. Everything's fine now. She'll never be hurt that way again. She's loved now.

She's loved now

V's voice shaky from the newly built up tears, she reciprocated the statement

"I love you, too, Uz"

It was quiet, muffled, half mumbled, but it was enough for Uzi to hear her and squeeze her girlfriend tighter.

They shuffled a bit while cuddling, and ended up in a position where Uzi was spooning V. There's a first time for everything, she guessed. But it wasn't that bad, being cradled by the one she loved the most.

Minus V's purring and occasional sniffle, it was relatively quiet. But, it was comfortable. Uzi subconsciously ran her fingers through V's hair as V listened attentively to the rhythm of Uzi's core and wrapped her tail around Uzi's leg. Getting used to how clingy and physically affectionate V was took a bit of time, especially since before dating, Uzi's only ever seen her murdering people, playing with their corpses like dolls only to animalisticly take a bite of her prey.

But it was nice. Paired with V's purring, Uzi really enjoyed cuddling with her, too.

It was a while before V broke the silence.

"You know... I never thought I'd ever tell anyone that experience, much less to a worker"

Uzi looked down at V in her arms, which caused V's complimentary eyes to look back at her.

"Not that it's a bad thing. I'm really glad I could finally talk to someone about it. I never thought I'd see myself this close to someone like you. You opened my eyes to a diffrent way of looking at things, and I'm forever grateful we met. I'm sorry I was such a dick at first."

Uzi's face softened at the remark before she leaned down to kiss V's hair

"Don't say that. You were scared. And you've changed" Uzi paused to cup V's face in her hands and lean in for another kiss, V holding the back of Uzi's head.

"I'm glad you trust me enough to talk to"

V didn't talk, but her smile and blush spoke a thousand words. Uzi just held V to her chest and continued playing with her hair.

It continued like that for a while, until V's "eyelids" grew heavy, and she eventually succumbed to her exhaustion.

~~

Uzi didn't know how long it's been, and frankly she didn't care. That was until she heard footsteps walking into her room before she saw the unmistakable yellow headband of a disassembly drone.

"Hey Zi d-" N cut himself off as he saw V asleep and walked over to Uzi.

"Did something happen?" He asked Uzi in a hushed tone, careful not to wake the drone laying in his girlfriend's arms.

"...Yea. I don't know if she would let me say what happened, but..." the worker looked at the murder machine curled up in her arms, asleep, and smiled. "...she's fine now" Uzi replied, petting V's hair.

N's face shifted to a sympathetic smile as he sat on the edge of the bed and eyed V.

"I hope she is" was all he said before going behind Uzi and snuggled up with her, hugging her from behind before he too fell asleep.

Which left Uzi alone with her thoughts.

V was right, though. A few years ago Uzi's life was hell. It was hard to even avoid hurting herself. But she's so glad she didn't. Now instead of walking to her home after a shitty day at school to be ignored by her father, she walks home after another day of university to a home with her girlfriend and boyfriend, ready to tell them about her day and hear about theirs. Now she looks forward to life, as long as she has her two favourite people in it.

Eventually, Uzi also fell asleep, being hugged by N and V, and hugging the latter back.

[slimybeth69]

Such Small Hands

unbeta'ed, cross posted from my ao3.

mean/dark!joelxreader (no physical descriptions girthy age gap--no actual age mentioned but reader could be in her mid twenties- early thirties, no use of y/n. No physical descriptions but reader has an extensive background. Canon to the last 3 episodes of the series.) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, mentions of potential SA, graphic depictions of blood, reader brings up her past and shitty family (if it ain't for you, sorry). This takes place after the events of Crybaby With as much smut as this has, this is an angsty fic and it's building bonds and falling in love (maybe). And Ellie!! Little Baby Ellie is in this one!

Chapter 2- Killers

“Are you sure you’re going to bed okay? You know what medicine you need to get? How do I know when to come looking for you if you don’t come back? What happens–” Ellie is rapidly firing these questions at you as you walk out of the house the next morning. You turn and put your hands on her shoulders. Ellie stares up at you, her eyes are so full of fear but they're scanning your face, hoping you'll have the answers. You do. For the most part.

“Listen– you’re gonna stay here. No matter what. You do not come looking for me. Under any circumstance. You stay here with Joel. You do not leave his side until he’s able to come with you. Do you understand?” You talk to Ellie in the most stern voice you have. “I know where to go. I know what to look for. I can take care of myself. Please, take care of yourself and Joel.” You hand her your pistol and show her how to use it quickly. 

Ellie watches intently. 

“It’s easier to aim. Point and shoot. It’s got kick to it though. It’s gonna knock you on your ass if you’re not prepared for it. Got it? Lock your arm when you shoot and don’t flinch. Do not use this unless you absolutely have to. Understood? I mean thing’s coming through that door kind of need to, do you hear me?” 

Ellie looks terrified. You give her a hug. 

“It’ll be okay. I’m not taking the horse because it’ll draw too much attention. It'll take me a while to get there and back but I’ll be back tonight, okay? I promise, I’ll do everything I can.” You squeeze her tightly and you feel her still holding on so you let her hug you as long as she needs. The sun still hasn’t even come up yet, so you have time. She needs it.

“Be careful.” Ellie says as she’s pulling away. “Please.” Her eyes look so wide and scared and almost full of tears. 

“I will be. You need to be careful too. Barricade this door when I leave. I’ll knock six times when I’m back.” 

The walk into the city is long and cold with only one glove but you’ll look for more in the department stores. You wonder if any of the medicine is still even good by now. It’s a stressful thought. You need more alcohol and some antiseptic. Anything that will make sure Joel doesn’t get an infection if he doesn’t already have one. 

Joel slept through the night and was still sleeping when you decided you couldn’t sit around any longer. You got changed into clothes covered in Joel’s blood. You’d look for a new outfit while you were in the city. You needed them anyway. Might as well. You loved going into the city– not this one; you were in New Jersey when the outbreak happened. But the Big City. NYC. You loved going there when you were a teenager. 

This didn’t feel like that though. There was something so ominous about the buildings towering overhead. Everything was so eerily quiet. Not like a city at all. A ghost city. An abandoned one. All the buildings were overtaken by plant growth on the first and second floors. It was starting up to the third now. You could barely see the signs over the doors of each store. The moss and vines and leaves covered it all up now. 

First place you found was a department store. Inside was dark, you had to use your flashlight to see anything. The first floor was mens and kids. You look for anything that might fit Joel and toss it in a bag you picked up on your way into the store. It’s just a simple backpack, nothing special but it was empty. You’re holding the flashlight between your jaw and shoulder while you look through sizes. You’re as quiet as you can be. Checking to make sure there isn’t anything under your feet before you step. 

Upstairs is for women and home-goods. You grab as many t-shirts that will fit you and Ellie both in the bag not caring if they’re cute or what they say. You look for jeans that will fit. You’re stuffing this bag as full as you can make it. This place hasn’t been picked too bad. There were no knives when you checked the home-goods department. 

You do end up looking for another bag, a duffel bag, a bigger one in the camping section. You find it and just toss the book bag into the bottom and wrap the strap around your back so you can just throw things into it without having to carry it in your hands. Cooking things and camping gear. Whatever you really need. You still have to carry it to the pharmacy and try to find something for Joel. 

As you make your way down the stairway that leads to the first floor you hear it. Clicking. You close your eyes and hope your imagination is just getting the best of you in here. It is really dark and fucking scary as hell. Fuck. You were hoping to avoid all this. Hoped they had all cleared outta the city by now.

Staying quiet, trying to hear where it's coming from you slowly keep moving down the stairs. Your flashlight is pointed to the floor so you don’t step on anything. The clicks continue to echo softly. The sound can’t really be placed as it bounces off the walls and back at you from every direction. 

Shit. Shit. Shit…fuck. Okay. Stillness. You stay as still as possible and with your flashlight scan the room below you very slowly. You don’t move too fast, just try and see if anything down there is moving. Time feels like it is standing completely still. More clicks but now it’s evident that they are coming from upstairs, from behind you and you take off quickly down the stairs, still as quiet as you can be. 

You have to walk so slow, there’s metal camping gear in your bag and one wrong move will send everything scattering around in there and you’ll be fucking caught. No way out. Your feet move with grace. Like when you walked through the woods to meet Joel. You need to get back to him…back to Ellie. The clicks are still behind you, maybe closer than last time but you tell yourself that it’s all in your head and you’re just freaking the fuck out. 

Okay, you’re out the door and across the street and you watch the entrance with your revolver aimed at the door you just came out of. You breathe steady and wait. You wait for so long until you’re convinced that it wasn’t following you. The revolver drops down to your side and you sigh loudly. You wait, still watching with your finger on the trigger just in case. Just in case it pops out and starts fucking barreling after you. 

Okay. You’re possibly in the clear. There are so many stores lining the street. While you walk you adjust the metal camping gear so it shouldn’t clang together should you have to move hastily. You spot a drug store and struggle to open the door with all the overgrowth. It’s a good sign. No one’s been in here for a while. 

Inside is picked through. You find a bottle of rubbing alcohol though. A big one. The makeup section is untouched. You grab Ellie two compacts and a nicer hairbrush than the one she had. There isn’t anything else inside. 

There isn’t anything else on this main street. You dip off into a side street and find an actual pharmacy. You walk inside, no overgrowth covering the door. You find Neosporin. Unopened. You could cry. Tears actually spring to your eyes. You open it out and squeeze some out onto your finger and smell it and it smells like Neosporin. Like your childhood. This is what you came here for. 

You tuck it into your front jacket pocket because it s precious and you leave this God fucking forsaken place. 

You’re running. As fast as you can with the duffel bag still strapped to your front which isn’t fast at all but you need to get back. You’ve been gone so long the sun is already up high in the sky. The sun shines off the snow and hurts your eyes. You never did look for new gloves. Completely forgot. 

When you get back the sun is lower, not dark but getting there. You’re glad you left as early as you did. You knock on the door six times and wait for her to answer. Nothing. You knock again a little louder. Nothing. You push on the door gently and it gives to your touch. Fucking kid . You enter the house with your gun drawn. Setting the duffel bag down next to the door, you check around the corner. Clear. 

The hallway is clear too. The door to the basement is shut. You open the door and whisper her name but get no response. What the fuck? Okay. Maybe they’re both asleep. You take the steps downstairs and check on Joel who is still asleep. Ellie isn't in either of the rooms down in the basement.

She’s not fucking here. God fucking dammit. What actual fuck kid? You gave her one fucking instruction. You wonder is she doesn't listen to Joel either. Ellie is a teenager, she doesn't listen to anyone.

The door upstairs opens and you hear heavy footsteps above you, they're frantic and running across the floor. You aim the gun at the door as it opens and put your finger on the trigger. You drop it immediately as Ellie stumbles down the stairs, missing three on her way down.

“Where the fuck where you? Huh? I told you to stay put!” You shout at her. She holds up wrapped up gray cloth in her hand and pants softly.

“I got it.” Ellie smiles wide at you.

“Got what!? Someones fucking underwear? Ellie where the fuck did you go?” You're shouting at her because you were scared and frantic about her not being there just two minutes ago.

She recants her time in the woods. Explains she went out to try and hunt so we could all eat tonight. She actually shot a deer but two men in the woods traded her medicine for Joel for the deer meat. You stare at her as she talks. You can't believe it.

Ellie hands you the bottle and the needle. You hold it in your hands, still unable to talk. The bottle of antibiotics is cold in your palm. 

“I don’t know how to do it.” She kneels down to Joel and puts a hand on his shoulder. "He needs it though. He has a fever." You knew he did. You checked him earlier and he was burning up. 

Joel is worth figuring it out for. Poking the needle into the top of the bottle you pull the liquid into the syringe until it looks like enough. You don’t know! You wanted to do hair for God's sake! Not be a nurse. 

Your hands are shaking as you inject him with the antibiotic. You lean down and whisper into his ear.

“You get better soon. Don’t leave me with the kid. She doesn’t listen to me.”

You and Ellie go and sit with your backs against the wall. She mirrors you when you pull your knees and rest your arms on them. You sigh deeply and try to pretend like none of this is really happening. This is what happens when you think with anything other than your brain. You were thinking with your pussy and this is what you get. Bloody clothes and a near dead man on the bed across the room and some new teenage girl who’s looking at you for answers. 

“These guys with the medicine? You know where they stay?” You’re whispering to Ellie while Joel rests. She nods at you. “You could tell me how to get there?” If you can get there and scope things out you might be able to see what you’re up against. You wonder if Ellie did a good job hiding her tracks back here or not. 

“I could show you.” Ellie raises her eyebrows. She wants to take you there. You frown at her. What is she thinking? Leaving Joel here all alone? Obviously she wasn’t thinking, she’s just a kid. Trying to prove to the two adults she’s with that she can help. That she’s grown too. Not just a kid.

“Do you think this is an adventure? Is this fun to you? Those guys are probably looking for you right now.” You keep frowning as the small smirk disappears from her face. “Good. I’m glad you know I’m serious now since you didn’t seem to know earlier.” You’re so angry. You know she was just trying to help but it’s just made everything so much harder. Even if she did get the medicine. 

“I got the medicine that you couldn’t get.” She growled at you angrily, like she was reading your mind. Ellie had that comeback ready before you even started talking to her. She knew what she did was wrong but she was trying to justify it. 

“I hadn’t even left before you went off hunting in the woods, doing exactly what I told you not to.” You snap at her, pointing to the door. This is what your mom must have felt like when she’d find out you snuck out with your boyfriend to go into the city for a show or for dinner without asking or telling. You know why she was so scared now. The world was not a nice place for fourteen year old girls. You didn’t know that then. Ellie doesn’t know that now.

“He was going to die without it.” She keeps growling. The face she’s making at you is similar to the ones she’d make when Joel and her picked you up before you all left Wyoming. You got on the horse he brought for you and you’d catch her giving you looks just like this one out of the corner of your eye. Her face would be pressed right into Joel’s back looking at you like you were a clicker or a bloater. Or something worse. A threat to her and Joel’s plan.

“What you did was very helpful. Yes. But it doesn’t change the fact that you still didn’t take me seriously. Ellie. Those guys could have done so much worse than just kill you.” You shake your head because you don’t know if she gets that. “I just want you to be safe so that when he wakes up, he doesn’t kill me for losing you.” You point to Joel in the bed across the room. He’s kind of scary, you’re not going to lie. You’d hightail it out of here and back to Jackson before he woke up if anything happened to her. You did not want to be on his bad side. You were already on his good side and look at the things he did to you.

“I’m not going to get lost. Or killed. Or worse. ” More growling like she’s tough. “I’m strong-” You snort in a short burst of chuckling because she sounds just like you did. It’s insane listening to her talk. Listening her argue; saying she’ll never let that happen to her– she has no control over those things and you’re surprised she thinks she does. It makes you embarrassed for how you used to talk to your mom or your aunts growing up. You’re just trying to help her. 

“I’m so glad that you know exactly what’s going to happen out here. I’m so glad that in your fourteen years of life that you just know everything you need to know. I’m so fucking happy.” It’s a whisper. “I was your age once. I get it–but you have no fucking idea what’s going to happen when you walk out that door. You need to remember that you’re not un-fucking-touchable. You can get hurt. You don’t know.” You glance over at her, because you haven't looked at her once. You’ve been too upset and frustrated and worried that if you looked at her you might cry.

“And you do?” She snaps back now. 

“I have no fucking idea what’s going to happen. But I know what can .” You do start to cry because you’re overwhelmed. The last however many hours have passed are finally catching up to you. “I know what will happen to little girls like you and women like me if men who are fucked-” You tap your head. “Or desperate-” you tap between your legs. “-could do if they wanted. You better hope your aim has gotten better since the other day.” You push yourself off the ground and walk away from her. You can’t look anymore. You don’t want to say anything you’ll regret.

“I know what you’re talking about and I would never -” You spin around so fast it makes you dizzy.

“I hope you never have to try and overpower a man who is holding you down.” You whisper it even though you want to scream at her. “I have to sleep now. Please for the love of God, don’t fucking leave.” 

You lay down in the bed Ellie had slept in the night before. It’s soft. And it has blankets and it’s perfect. You think of living here. Forever. With Ellie and Joel. It would be nice to cozy up and relax and play house. You always wanted to do that. Imagining the idea of giving Joel kisses as he walked into the kitchen as you helped Ellie with her homework are the thoughts that lulled you to sleep. You slept for fourteen hours. 

Ellie is fucking gone when you wake up. Of fucking course. You should have never fallen asleep but whatever. You’ll go get her. She can’t be too far, right? Joel is still asleep. Fuck.

Fuck. It’s fucking bitter cold and now you regret not going back for a new pair of gloves. You run out into the street and look in both directions. She’s running from the right and pointing to get back inside. You shake your head and motion for her to get her ass over here right the fuck now.

“We– yo– we– they’re coming.” Ellie stutters. “They’re coming to look for us.”

Fuck! You press your hands into your eyes and hold back a shout of frustration. Hands fall to your sides and Ellie is gone again, she’s running up to the garage. 

“Where are you going?” You follow her as she opens the door. 

“I can get away. I’ll distract them. You gotta stay here and keep Joel safe. Please. I won’t be able to do it myself. Please just keep him safe and the horse will take me far away and then we can-” She’s already on the horse and you don’t know what else to do. 

“How many?” You ask, pulling your revolver from your holster and checking how many bullets are in there. It’s still full from this morning. 

“I don’t know, maybe six or seven.” She’s whining looking out the open garage door. 

“Okay. Okay. Fuck. Okay. Yes. Go. Run Ellie don’t fucking stop please don’t stop. Run and get as far away from here as you can. Run until the horse won’t fucking go anymore.” You’re pleading with her. She looks down at you with fear in her eyes again. “We’ll come for you. I promise Ellie no matter what happens we will come for you.” 

You slap the horse's ass and she takes off. 

Shit shit shit shit shit. You shut the garage door as fast as you can and run inside. Fuck. Everything inside of you is shaking. You need a knife. They’re probably in pairs. You can fucking do something, right? Ambush them, something. Fuck. You’re by Joel’s side now and you’re crying. 

“Please wake up. P-Please wake up. I’m so fucking scared right now.” Your head turns to the door leading down to the basement. You forgot to shut it. “Joel!” You exclaim and his eyes open just a little. “Joel, they're coming, you need to w-wake up.” You leave your revolver on his chest and grab the knife off his belt and run upstairs. You get to the top step and you peek around the corner. You never shut the front fucking door when you ran inside like a dumb fucking idiot. 

You step up into the hallway that leads down to the front door and as you go to shut it you see someone step right outside, looking in at you from the screen door. 

It makes you jump and he’s got the door open before you can shut and lock the big wooden door in your hands. He pushes back against it with force and you stumble back two or three steps and he opens the door fully. His boots thump loudly on the ground. 

“No. You fucking stay away from me or I’ll cut your fucking throat.” You warn him, holding up the knife. The man in the hat with the long beard and hunting overalls takes a couple more steps towards you. He’s holding a hunting rifle across his chest. 

“Oh baby. My brother’s right outside. He’ll be in before you know it. Then that knife won’t mean shit.” The man grins at you. You go to reach for your revolver but it’s fucking downstairs on Joel’s chest. “Aw, you lose somethin’ important?” His grin widens and he’s got dirty yellow teeth, almost brown.

“Your brother as ugly as you are? If so, damn, I’d hate to see your mommy.” You frown at him. “Unless daddy is the ugly one.” You sass him, looking him up and down. 

“Oh you got a mouth on ya, huh?” The man finally smiles and nods at you. “Love a cunt with a mouth.” His smile drops and he starts coming at you with force. You hold the knife close to you and as he gets close you swing it around and try to connect with his ribs. He holds his arm out and tries to catch your wrist but he misses and you end up slashing across his chest. “Fuckin’ dumb bitch.” He growls.

“You sound like my daddy.” You smirk and he lunges at you, pinning your arm with the knife between you and him. You still try and wave it around wildly and can feel it slashing and cutting at your own stomach so you stop. “Fuc-” All the air in your body leaves. All the air that was about to enter your body suddenly has somewhere else to be. You don’t even remember past air that you have breathed before. The man knocked you to the ground and he’s on top of you.

“You’re gonna get it from both of us.” He snarls in your ear. “Gonna fuck you all night long then bring you back to all the other hungry men that we know. Let them all have their way with you. Just like the girl. She yours? She your little one? We caught her. We’re all gonna rape her.” The man whispers now. “Gonna rape your daughter.” He sings it to you now sweetly like it’s a tune on the radio.

You’re fighting with everything inside of you. Your boots slam on the floor under you, attempting to push your hips up to knock him off of you but he’s got his whole weight on top of you and the rifle pressed across your chest. You feel him start rocking his hips against yours and everytime he does the blade of the knife digs deeper into the soft flesh of your belly. You start to scream but one of his dirt stained hands stops you.

You see his brother walk downstairs and that's when real fear starts to hit you. Joel is going to die.

“Ohh no. You gotta be quiet. You have to be quiet. You don’t wanna get me too excited now. I love when they fight back. It’s my favorite. You’ll embarrass me. Make me come too quick. We don’t want that now do we?”

There is no way this is happening. You were tucked away safely in your little cabin in the woods when the guy you were fucking invited you to escort a young lady to Salt Lake. Now you’re about to be passed around and watch Ellie suffer while Joel dies in a basement. What the fuck. You start to cry because this is not really happening. No fucking way. You clench your eyes shut.

His hips start moving with meaning and the knife just digs in deeper and deeper. It’s pressed sideways, not stabbing into you, but with every movement it’s cutting into you like a saw. You whimper in pain and fear and acceptance that you’re probably going to die. The guy on top of you is dry humping you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You keep trying to push up with your hips to move him, despite the pain, despite the blade. You don’t want to die like this. 

“Just gotta wait for my brother to get up her–” His voice and his weight is torn from on top of you and your eyes shoot open and Joel is standing there, holding the man by the back of the neck with your gun to his head. 

“Let’s go.” Joel growls. You jump up and grab the rifle from the man and hold it close to your chest. You follow them as he leads the man into the front room. There is snow piled up in front of one of the open windows. You hold the rifle to him as Joel sits him down in a chair. “Your brother is in really bad shape downstairs. I’m gonna go get him. I need you to stay here.” Joel brings the butt of the revolver down hard on the front of the man's skull and you wince, watching him go limp.

“What are you doing?” You ask as Joel walks past you. “Where are you going?” 

“Were you not listening?”Joel grunts as he makes his way into the basement. “Stay!” He exclaims. “Don’t take that fucking gun off him for nothing, do you hear me?” He demands you the way you tried to demand Ellie to stay put earlier. You nod and turn the gun back to the unconscious man in the chair. 

Joel is struggling bringing that man's brother up the stairs. You can hear him grunting and you just know you’re going to have to restitch him. You hear a loud bang, like something or someone fell into the wall at the top of the stairs. You hope it’s the man’s brother. Joel drags the across the room by his feet. He’s got duct tape around his wrist.

“Okay.” Joel sighs, he used an entire roll of duct tape to tape them up. Once they were nice and secure Joel took the hunting rifle from you. “Where is she?” He asked, he was angry. 

“She took off with one of the horses. Tried to distract them away from us long enough that I could get you on the other horse and meet up with her.” You try to explain but Joel clenches his jaw.

“You let her go alone?” He yells at you.

“What did you want me to do? Leave you!? She’s got my gun and the horse. You were fucking knocked out! ” You yell back at him. You knew he was going to be mad at you. “It was her fucking idea! I didn’t know what else to do, okay!? I just wanted you to be safe and get her the fuck out of here.” 

“Go outside. Make sure no one else gets close to this house. You shoot whoever walks up near here unless it’s Ellie.” He gives you the hunting rifle. Okay Joel. Fuck you, too. You’ll go outside and walk back to fucking Jackson. Almost died trying to protect him. Protect the girl. Fuck him. 

You take the rifle from him and as his hand leaves it he snakes it around the back of your neck and pulls your forehead to his lips. He holds you there for such a long time. It feels so good because he’s warm and has a fever, also because it’s nice to know he doesn’t hate you. 

“Go. Eyes peeled.” You wait outside for him. 

You hear everything from the open window. Joel is asking them where Ellie would be. The men admitted to him they had captured her after Joel shoved a knife behind one of the mens knee caps. You heard him do it and then explain he was going to “pop it off’. The sound the knife made when it left his knee was something you’ll never forget. The sound the man made too.  

“What were you gonna do to the lady once your brother got upstairs, huh?” Joel speaks quieter now but not quietly enough that you can’t hear him. 

“Nothin’ man. I promise. Nothin’ we were just going to bring her back to the town.” The man sounds so nervous. You would look if you weren’t afraid of Joel doing the same thing to you. 

“That's why you were already halfway done when I ripped you off her?” Joel shouts. It makes you jump and there's a commotion inside. It sounds like someone fell. Someone’s being beaten. Someone else is screaming bloody murder. You run inside to make sure that Joel is okay but you’re greeted with the sight of him towering over the man he had taped to the chair, stabbing his knife into his chest repeatedly. His brother, who Joel had taped up and sat down on the bench of a piano. 

The man in front of the piano was screaming and crying and you’re terrified watching the scene unfolding before you. 

“Make him stop!” The man who wasn’t getting stabbed repeatedly in the chest screamed at you. “We told him where the girl was, make him stop!” The man wailed, watching his brother unable to fight back. Joel ripped the knife out of his chest cavity with a squelch and started towards the other man, looking at you over his shoulder.

“I said outside!” It was shouted at you loudly. You nod and turn; feet shuffling in place for a moment before you ran back outside, not wanting to see what Joel was going to do to him. 

You make your way to the garage, looking around to see if anyone else was coming to look for the brothers but you didn't see anyone. The horse in the garage snorts loudly as you pet him. The bitter cold nips at your cheeks and forehead. Your exposed fingers. You stand in front of the garage, waiting for something. You don’t know what exactly. 

“When I fucking tell you something, you better fucking list-” Joel’s voice from the front porch makes you whip your head around. It takes you less time for him to step down off the porch to get angry. Spitting and screaming and yelling angry at Joel.

“Shut the fuck up!” You shout, interrupting him. “Shut the fuck up right now. You don’t get to boss me around like I’m fourteen years old. Fuck you.” You spit at him. “I almost died trying to fucking keep you safe, we both did!” You’re holding the rifle close to your chest, your other hand pointing out behind you somewhere in the direction that Ellie could be in. “Don’t fucking yell at me like I’m a little fucking girl! Go, go and find her. By yourself! I'm not staying here. I didn't sign up for this! I’m going home.” You push past him and start back into the house.

Joel grabs you by the upper arm and pulls you back so you’re standing in front of him again. His eyes are so angry. They're so bloodshot like he should still be sleeping. He really should be. He’s not ready to travel, he definitely shouldn’t have been exerting himself so much inside either. 

“You stay.” He growls. “You wanna go back? I'll take you after we drop the kid. You’re not going without me, are you fucking thick?” Joel leans in and tries to kiss your forehead again but you pull away. Joel grips you tighter. “I need you.” He whispers now. “I need you to help me get her back. I can’t fucking go get her like this by myself.” His voice has a hint of desperation to it. You look down and see that he’s bleeding through his shirt. 

“Fuck.” You whine quietly

“You went into the city by yourself?” Joel needed you to stitch him again, he stayed awake for the whole thing. You gave him another round of antibiotics and you gave him some clean clothes you picked up from the store. Joel shook his head as he pulled the new shirt on carefully. You nod and hand him the new flannel as well. They both fit. 

“Yeah. I did.” You look at Joel who is buttoning the flannel. He looks so tired. So worn down. You feel so bad for him. This is all your fault. If you had just stayed with him in the room at the university none of this would have happened. 

“You two always wanting to run off by your fucking selves.” Joel grumbles as he sits down on the side of the bed that you and Ellie had slept in. “You okay? You’re covered in blood.” He nods to you and you look down. You haven’t changed your clothes yet at all and you're still covered in his blood. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s yours. I got some new clothes for me and Ellie in the bag.” You sigh and rub your hands down your face. “This is so fucked. What is going on? What are you doing with her? She’s clearly not your daughter and you’re taking her somewhere, right? Tell me what’s going on or I’m out. I’ll take my chances alone on the way back, man, I mean it.” You’re talking quickly, nervously. All you want is some answers and your warm cottage in the woods. What the fuck is going on?

“It’s too difficult to explain right now. I will though, when we get her back, ok?” Joel isn’t telling you the truth. You can hear it in his lying ass voice. You roll your eyes. “You just have to tru-” You chortle and shake your head at him. 

“No. I don’t. I don’t have to do anything right now. I want answers. I want you to tell me where you’re taking her and why we couldn’t all just hang out at my house outside the compound. Why is she so important to you? She your niece or something?” Joel shakes his head at you. “Okay. I’m leaving. I can’t fucking do this anymore.” 

“She’s fucking immune. I’m taking her to a hospital so they can try and find a cure.” Joel grumbles it out, defeated that you’re serious. Calling his bluff. You think for a long time before you turn around to look at him. 

“You’re gonna let them kill her?” You ask in horror. You can’t believe that the man you’ve been fucking is going to help an innocent girl right into her own coffin. 

“They’re not going to kill her. They need her DNA.” Joel waves you away with his hand dismissively.  “Not gonna kill her, are you stupid?” He scoffs at her like he hadn’t thought about it once. You’re dumbstruck. 

“It’s a disease that controls your fucking brain, Joel. If she’s immune, where do you think they’re going to want to look!? Do you think they give a shit about one fucking girl when it comes to the rest of us? Everyone else they could save? They’ve sacrificed so many people already who they claimed to be immune, a teenage girl isn’t going to be high up on their list of people to keep alive.” You’re yelling at him. You can’t believe that those thoughts didn’t go through his mind. Maybe wishful thinking on his part that he’d be able to keep up whatever weird fantasy they were both fulfilling in this journey. 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Joel waves again at you, dismissively like you’re stupid and couldn’t ever possibly know what you’re talking about. You smirt at him and nod your head. 

“You’re gonna be sorry when you walk her into wherever she wants to get to so bad and they don’t let her come out, Joel. Really fucking sorry you didn’t listen to me. She knows? She knows the people where you're taking her are going to experiment on her?” You go for your bag on the floor and start packing all the things that have spilled out over however many days you’ve been here. 

“Yes. She knows.” Joel says quietly, like he’s processing what you just said finally. You nod and grab the hunting rifle that’s leaning against the wall. “Where are you going?” 

“To get her, and fucking keep her away from wherever you’re going to take her. They will kill her dude. You don’t get it.” You shake your head and make your way to the stairs. 

“If you’re going, I’m coming with you. And she’s going to the hospital so that we can find a c-” 

“We won’t ever see a cure in our lifetime, Joel!” You scream it at him. “Probably not in her lifetime either, so why– this girl you’re so attached to– why take her to a place that’s going to hurt her?” You don’t get him at all.

“We’ll go get her. Together. While we’re on the way you can tell me more about why you think they’re going to kill her.” 

As you walk, you explain to Joel how your dad used to work for animal control back in Jersey before the outbreak. You tell Joel about how scientists would have to look inside an animal's brain to check for rabies. He explains he knows how they check for rabies. You ask how he would expect them to do any sort of tests or experiments on Ellie for a disease that affects the brain? They need to look at your brain, and you can’t be alive for them to do that. We don't have the equipment now for scans and images. They'd have to kill her, you're sure of it.

Joel says nothing as you walk. What the man on top of you had sang while he dry humped you rings through your head.

“We’re gonna rape your daughter.”  

It makes you sick to your stomach. You quicken your pace even though Joel is the one who knows where to go. You don’t care, you want to get there as fast as you can. You think about Ellie and what she’s dealing with all alone with whoever the fuck has her. 

“Listen to me,” Joel grabs your face with his hands and makes you look right into his eyes. “Be. Careful. Watch your back. Stay quiet and calm. You get back to me as soon as you can. Check every room in that building, then you come back. If you can’t find her we will go look together.” Joel gives you very clear instructions that feel a little condescending but you’ll explain how calm and cool and collected you stayed while he was stuck like a pig.  

“I will.” 

The building behind you has smoke coming out of it. Joel tried to insist on coming in with you but you threatened to punch him in his stitches and explained he would just slow you down. You could get in fast and hopefully find her before the building got anymore engulfed in flames. 

You run into it, revolver drawn. It’s quiet but you can hear fire crackling down the long hallway. The place must have been a rec center or a nursing home or something. So many rooms and so many places for Ellie to hide. 

You don’t have to look in more than three rooms before you hear her–screaming. Crying. She sounds like she’s hurt. You bolt out of the room you were in looking for her and run down the hallway as fast as your feet can carry you. 

“Ellie!” You shout as you enter what looks like a dining hall, a giant room with tables and chairs for everyone to gather around and eat meals together. The whole place is engulfed in flames but you don’t see her anywhere. “Ellie!” You shout again and finally as your eyes scan the room you see her, on her knees, slamming her fists into… a man on the ground below her. She has a knife and she’s driving it into every soft part of him she can find. 

You run to her; as soon as you put your hand on her back she brings the blade back down into your calf. The knife sinks into the muscle and it sets fire to your brain. Shooting electric, white hot pain in your calf, unlike anything you've ever felt in your entire life.

“Fucking cunt bitch! Fuck!” You scream and push her away from you. She rips the knife from your calf, it makes you scream again in pain and you drop to your knees. “Ellie it’s just me.” You choke it out through sobs of pain. But she’s back to stabbing the man below you. 

You push yourself up to your feet again despite your leg telling you to lay down and die in this fire. Waiting until her arms are down to her sides you lunge forward and you wrap your arms around her. She screams and tries to fight you, she pushes back with her legs and sends you both tumbling back to the ground. She’s on top of you but you have her pinned and are squeezing her tight. The wind got knocked out of you when she landed on your chest and you're wheezing now. 

“Ellie, shhhhh, Ellie it’s just me. Me and Joel. Shhhh Joel is here, he’s okay.” You try to wheeze calmly in her ear but she’s still fighting you. She cuts your outer thigh with the blade as she slashes around. “Ellie! Joel is outside!” You scream now and something about your voice or what you just said calms her. She goes limp in your arms and is sobbing now, just shaking and weeping. You let her go and roll her to her side. She goes fetal. 

You grab her but now your entire leg is on fire. Your calf is bleeding so bad you can feel the pool of blood in your boots pooling up around your sock with every step you take. The slices on your thigh are deep but not stab wounds but they still fucking hurt. She lets you pull her to her feet. Ellie takes off, starts to quickly head for the exit but you can’t move as fast as she can. You're moving slow, having to hold on to the backs of chairs and tables to move along the dining hall. The flames are getting bigger and hotter and now you're starting to sweat. Ellie notices, she comes back for you and puts her arm around your waist. You lip out of the burning building as quickly as you can. The smoke is so much thicker now than it was when you came in. You’re almost choking. 

Once outside your hands and knees hit the snow. You can’t help it, everything in your right leg is absolutely screaming at you to stop. Ellie tries to help you up, screaming words of encouragement to you through sobs. You’re crawling along the ground, trying to get away from the building, from the smoke but it’s slow going. You can barely move your leg. Smoke pours out of the open door behind you and you can hear the structure start to creak and groan. 

“Please come on. We have to go. Please come on.” Ellie cries softly. She’s in front of you, pulling you by the shoulders of your jacket, away from the building. You move your arms and your one good leg to try and help her pull you away. She's yanking on your jacket as hard as she can, dragging you into the snow. 

You lay on the white snow as she falls down in front of you. Ellie is content with how much distance you two have put between yourself and the fiery hell behind you. You’re panting, face in the snow, you don’t care. You curl your fingers in the white powder as you close your eyes. You could die here, right now. It'd be okay. It’s pretty here. Very pretty. Lots of trees. Like the woods kind of. Like where your cabin used to be. You think you are dying. You've never felt weak like this before. Or so tired. 

There’s a hand on your back and you’re fighting for your life again, someone's got you. Someone's coming to get you, rape you and make you watch as they kill Ellie slowly and burn Joel on the stake. You're scrambling, trying to get to your feet, crawl away, anything. Just move. The only thought in your head is to move. Get away. Ellie is in front of you with her hands on your cheeks, shhing you. Trying to calm you. You rest your head in her hands and sigh softly. 

“It’s Joel. He’s gonna help you.” She whispers in your ear. You let Joel get you to your feet. You can only hop on one foot. You stumble and trip but Joel stays glued to your side.

Joel has your pants off inspecting all of the wounds you received or inflicted upon yourself today. The worse one by far is where Ellie stabbed you in the calf. She sank it fully into you. She apologized so much as you guys made your way back to the house you had been sleeping at. Ellie and Joel packed up everything while you sat in the living room staring at the two dead men. Joel moved you three to another house two streets over. Ellie was in a bedroom down the hall asleep already.

“How’d you get these?” He asked as he cleaned the cuts and slashes on your stomach. You chuckle at him and lean against the headboard. 

“Did it myself when that asshole was on top of me.” You laugh quietly. “Thought I could cut him but I ended up just cutting myself.” Joel smirks at you and then frowns. He’s got something he wants to say but he’s stopping himself. You let him bandage you, without pushing it. Why push something you don’t really want to hear. 

“Sorry for bringing you out here.” Joel finally sighs. “I never should have asked you to come.”

There it is. 

Not exactly what you wanted to hear but it’s fine. A thank you would have been nice. A good job. You did good, girl. He gives you nothing. You chew at the inside of your lip and think about Ellie. What will happen to her if Joel says you should go back to Jackson? She dies. That’s what happens and you’ll never forgive yourself. 

“I’m staying. Whether you like it or not. And in the morning I’m telling her what those doctors might do to her. I’ll do that even if you try to stop me.” You look at him very seriously as he pressed gauze to your stomach. He starts to tape it to your skin as you speak to him. “I don’t care. I’m gonna tell her. She deserves to know.” You continue to watch him as his hand slide down your stomach to your exposed mound. 

“Oh I’m not going to try to stop you.” Joel whispers. “I’ll let her decide. You have a point. Spread’em.” He tilts his head to one side as his fingers slide down into your folds. You obey mindlessly, spreading your legs slowly. “You can be the good girl…this time.” He smirks at you and slides the two fingers into your entrance. Your jaw drops open as he curls them upwards. “Yeah, you’re a good girl.” He whispers. “C’mere crybaby.” 

You lean forward and Joel meets you halfway, exhaling loudly against you as your lips touch. It’s perfect. His tongue slipping into your mouth while he furls and unfurls his fingers against your g-spot slowly. One of your hands wraps around the back of his neck, holding you up to him as he leans between your legs. You part your lips and let his eager tongue start exploring your mouth. How did you go from scolding him and being mad at him while he cleaned and bandaged you, to now letting him get you off with his fingers? 

“When I’m done, you can ride it, if your legs are strong enough.” Joel whispers into your mouth. “I want you to. Wanna see you naked. Touch you.” His tongue slides back into your mouth as his fingers strum against your spot. “Wanna see you come on top of me.” He’s still whispering gruffly into your mouth, speaking around the delight filled gasps of pleasure as he strokes one out with each curl of his fingers.

It would feel so nice to have him inside you. The feeling he’s giving you right now is numbing the pain in your leg. You nod and he kisses you again, long open mouthed kisses that leave you wanting more when he pulls away. 

“You wanna come?” Joel whispers again, moving his fingers quicker inside of you. “I’ll let you. I’d let you do whatever you want tonight for taking such good care of me. For keeping her safe.” He murmurs again. Joel is moving his fingers with such grace inside you. Each movement presses or grazes something inside you that draws a moan from your throat. You hush them, but you don’t hold back. “Yeah, lemme hear you. Little bird, pretty girl, lemme hear you moan.” He’s kissing you as he speaks. You can barely think let alone kiss him back.

It’s building, you can feel it deep in your belly. Your hips start to rock against his hand. Something about the way he’s talking to you is making your head spin. 

“I do wanna come.” You whimper, your feet locking onto the bed, and pushing your hips up into his fingers. You don’t care that your leg is on fire, his fingers feel too fucking good. “Yes. Yes, please don’t stop.” You beg him quietly. You clench your eyes shut and your walls start to tighten around him. “Please please.” It’s said mindlessly because he isn’t stopping, and didn’t have any plans to until you came. 

Thing you don’t know about Joel is, you coming is his favorite thing. It’s why he became so enamored with you after your first meeting. He’s never met anyone who can do what you do. Not come the way you do. The way you gush against him. He had heard stories, from Tommy and other guy friends he had before the outbreak but you’re the first and only one he’s ever been with. Joel loves when you come. 

That feeling; pressure in your belly and in between your legs is about to spill over the edge. You can feel it. You let your head fall back against the pillows again. Your hand falls from the back of Joel’s neck and you grip the sheets below you. Your back arches and your walls clenched tightly. 

“Oh fuck.” You pant. “Oh Joel, yes.” It’s so breathless as he draws the orgasm out of you with his fingers. It’s light behind your eyes and breath hitching in your chest. All the good feelings you could ever have are flowing through you right now and they’re all because of Joel’s fingers. You give him exactly what he’s waiting for as he continues to move his fingers through your orgasm. The gushing. He can watch it from here, see it happen as it splashes out against his palm and wrist. It soaks the blankets below you

“That’s a good girl.” Joel smiles, looking up at your face now. His fingers are still working inside of you. “You wanna sit on it? You want me to fill you up?” Your eyes snap open and Joel’s nodding at you. “I will. I’ll fill that pretty pussy all night long if you want me to.” He’s cooing at you, his fingers finally withdrawing from you. He laps up everything you’ve given him this time. He doesn’t even offer you his fingers like always. 

You watch as he stands up and undoes his belt. His pants fall to the floor and he very carefully crawls over you. This bed is big enough for the both of you. Unlike the mattress on the floor in the basement at the other house. Joel sits up in bed and pulls his shirt off carefully. You see his bandages. He’s bled through them but not terribly. Joel turns to you and takes your shirt off after you’ve sat up. Now, besides your bandages you’re both naked. 

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Joel pants out in between more long kisses. Tongues swirling as he gropes your breasts with his strong, calloused carpenter hands. “Such a pretty little crybaby. C’mere. Come sit on it. I gotta be inside you.” He breaks the kiss and lays back on the bed.

You’re unsure how you’re going to do this. Now that you’re not orgasming, your leg does hurt again. 

“I’m not gonna be able to do anything up here. I’ll just be scooching. I can’t bounce!” You look down at him as you test sitting on your knees.

“ Crybaby . Scooch on me. I’ll come. You’ll come. We’ll sleep.” Joel’s hands are on your waist as you straddle him.�� He moves one hand between you two and keeps himself standing straight up as you move the head of him across your slit, trying to line him up with your entrance. Joel’s never let you be on top before. You’ve never really had time like this. You feel him slip inside of you and you sink down into his lap. You can watch how his jaw falls open a little this time. You feel so full like this. You relax and sink down a little further and now you’re both staring at each other, slackjaw. 

“Fuck. Good girl.” Joel places his hand back on your waist and starts to slide you back and forth. “Yeah, just like that.” His head falls back as you lean back, supporting yourself on his thighs. “Move those hips, little bird.” He coos at you as you begin to roll your hips back and forth against him. “The best sluttiest fuckin’ pussy I ever had.” 

You close your eyes, a mixture of pleasure and pain as you feel him move against every inch of your pussy. 

“Jesus Christ.” You whisper, your own head falls back as he pushes his hips up into yours. “Yes. Do it again.” You hold yourself still and quickly, Joel hammers himself into you from below. Nothing comes out of your open mouth, you’re just frozen on top of him. He sheathes himself to the hilt every time and groans loudly. 

“Fuck little bird, that pussy is so fucking perfect.” He’s panting softly after exerting himself. You go back to rocking yourself against him, hips gyrating slowly. “You want it, really? Come inside that slutty little cunt?” You nod, everything he’s saying sounds so fucking good. You’re close to another orgasm and he can tell the way you’re clenching down around him with your pussy. 

Joel’s ready, he wants to feel you come on him first before he lets go. But with this angle he can see himself sliding in and out of you, your slickness is coating both of you and it’s making his legs shake softly. 

“P-please, lil crybaby.” Joel moans softly. “Lemme fill you up.” He’s begging you. He’s never done that. You don't know if he’s ever said the word please to you either but you’ll think about it later. You’re going to cum again. Joel grips your waist tighter as he feels you getting ready. Your hands grip his thighs tighter, your walls clench around him. “Oh fuck. Yes. Come on me, baby. Come on this cock you filthy little slut.” Joel growls as he begins pumping inside of you. You feel it with every throb of his cock. 

It sends you over the edge, knowing he’s coming inside you. You come again, all over his lower stomach as you sink yourself down into his lap and ungulate your hips back and forth, his cock rubs and grazes across your g-spot with each movement. It makes you shiver and moan his name softly as your hands move up to his chest.

Joel’s hands are still on your hips, holding you down onto him as he gives you the last of him. You know he’s finished when he shudders underneath you and lets his head fully relax on the pillows below him. 

“Joel.” You whisper down to him in his post-coital bliss. He responds with a throaty humm, his eyes closed. “I’m stuck up here.” Sure are. Your leg is on fire and you’re cramped up and don’t know how to get down. Joel opens one eye and smirks. He holds you firmly under the breasts and sits up carefully due to his own wound and gives you a small kiss before he lifts you so you can swing one leg over him. 

“Crybaby.” Joel teases you as you crawl onto the bed. It’s so cold but you know he’ll be warm and he’s laid out his sleeping bag on top of the bed and now he’s zipping yours together with his to make one big sleeper. You smirk and snuggle in as he gets behind you. “My crybaby. Don’t you forget it. Forget about going back to Jackson. You stay here. With me. Got it? Don’t say dumb shit.” He’s growling as you fall asleep.

[dogboyratgirl]

Ah, rats!

Lint and Troy find three rats that were dumped by an old owner. Troy insists that he doesn't want to keep them, but he cannot resist the love of the rats.

fuck it post 670 word lintroller fic at 3am. there is probably grammar/spelling mistakes but im too tired to care right now. will probably post this to ao3 some other time

“Lint, broski, we can’t keep those things. Those are freakin’ rats!”

“But they’ll freeze out there, it’s too cold! We can send ‘em back to a pet store later, man.”

Troy doesn’t have time to protest before Lint is already out the door and rushing to a pet store to get supplies. He takes a seat next to the small cardboard box, because what else is there to do? And suddenly a small gray head pops out of it, making him jump. Black, beady eyes staring back at him. It’s kind of freaking him out.

Lint mentioned there being multiple of them in there, so Troy takes a peek in the box to see what they all look like. And there sit three little rats. A  gray one with a white snout, which he’d already seen, an albino one, and a dark brown one with white feet. They’re all huddled together in a corner trying to keep warm, and the white one looks scared.

Troy blinks, and before he can even do anything, he feels the claws of a rat running up his arm and onto his shoulders. And it feels so cold. So cold. He feels bad for these small animals, they’ve been out there for who knows how long, just trying to keep warm. How could someone do this? They seem so sweet, why would someone want to give that up? He feels the rat sniffing his ear. He sees in the corner of his eye that it’s that little brown rat. Troy sees a bit of himself when he looks at that rat, when he felt it running up his arm so quickly, it’s like when he’s steamsledding. And hey, that gray one there sort of reminds him of a steamsled! And that tiny little albino rat, it’s white like a cloud. Like cloudspire. And Troy thinks those are great names. Troy Jr., Steamsled, and Cloudspire. They could just call him Cloud for short. But it’s not like they’re gonna keep these rats, anyway.

Some time later, Lint comes home with a small cage, it’ll be temporary, and some rat food. When they walk through the door, he’s shocked to see that Troy, who said that he couldn’t care less about these rats, was covered in them. The brown rat on his right shoulder, the gray one on his left, and the albino one hesitantly crawling onto his hand.

“I thought you hated rats, man!” Lint called out from the doorway.

“I do, broski, but Troy Jr. here climbed up on my shoulder super quickly and the other two followed him out! And I couldn’t just put ‘em back, man, they’re cold and I’m freaking, like, warmer than them, or something. So they wanted to keep warm!” Troy defended himself, although it’s very clear that at the very least, he doesn’t hate these rats.

Lint stifles a laugh. They don't think they’ll be getting rid of these three any time soon, considering Troy’s already named them.

-----------

And he was right! A few days later they were returning the small cage to the pet store and replacing it with a larger one fit for three wonderful rats. They got more supplies, more toys for the rats, and soon they’d both forgotten about the fact that they were going to give these rats up. Every morning and night, Troy just watches the rats eat their food. He likes the sound they make. He likes to watch the way they act around each other. He likes seeing Troy Jr. lay on top of Steamsled, he likes watching those two fight while Cloud sneaks up and steals whatever they’re fighting over. Even if he hates most rats, these ones surely have a place in his heart.

It’s always just been Troy and Lint, but now it’s not just them. It’s Troy and Lint, and Troy Jr., Steamsled, and Cloud. Neither of them even know if rodents are allowed in the apartment, but neither of them care either. It’s all worth it.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 6

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH.6

“Good evening, Stanley.”

“...”

“I can see in lieu of speaking, you have instead chosen to communicate with an obscene hand gesture- two obscene hand gestures. I'll excuse your immaturity because I understand you might be feeling… upset.”

“Upset? Me? What could I possibly be upset about?”

“I understand your current state of… lodging is making you apprehensive. On account of being involuntarily committed.”

“You not picking up sarcasm doesn’t surprise me. And this isn’t an involuntary commitment; this is an unlawful abduction and confinement. I have enough experience with both to know the difference.”

“You what?”

“Ask me whatever stupid questions you’re about to ask, but I refuse to stand up. This is literally the first bed I’ve had since prison; and in that bed I had to worry about bed bugs, dirty needles, poisonous snakes… and Jorge.”

“What was that last thing that you just whispered to yourself?”

“Don’t worry about it. Now, what do you want, Doc? You here to scan me again? Get me to take more drugs? Ask me weirdly personal questions like your hot friend?”

“I want to talk. I may have come on a little strong when we crossed paths in town, in order for you to truly understand where I’m coming from, I’m going to have to give you some context in place of your lost memory.”

“Please tell me you’re not about to give me the tragic backstory of you and your missing twin.”

“Listen, Stanley, you don’t remember this; but we had a falling out ten years ago.”

“Aaand you’re doing it. Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was expecting. Fine, I’ll play along.”

“We were in our senior year of high school. You ruined a project of mine, and it cost me my dream college. We had a fight, and you got- you left home after that.”

“Man, dunno why I’d do something like that.”

“You were scared of me leaving you.”

“Did a shitty thing, and ended up alone anyways. That's something I'd expect from me.”

“And then you tried to justify it and say there was a silver lining-.”

“I’m sorry.”

“...What?”

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“... Where’s your excuse?”

“Hm?”

“Your excuses- your reasons? You cannot just apologize- so casually.”

“Sure I can. I just did. You don't accept it, that’s your right."

“...You don’t mean that.”

“Naw, I’m pretty sure no one deserves to be betrayed. I’m sorry you were.”

“Saying sorry doesn’t make it okay.”

“Didn’t say it did. Nothing can- it’s already happened, and there’s no changing it. You don’t wanna forgive and forget? I won’t make you.”

“And you’re going to simply… move on?”

“Look, PhD, I can’t tell you why your real twin did what he did, or what was going through his head when he did it. But he did the wrong thing to the wrong person, and paid for it. It’s too bad you had to pay for it too.”

“You are-.”

“Can see why you’d get us mixed up though. All I do is ruin things, too. Maybe if that thing with your project hadn’t happened, you wouldn’t be a wackjob who carries a tranq gun with him everywhere and abducts people off of the street.”

“I’m not mixing anything up. You are exactly who I keep trying to tell you that you are. You’re just not you right now.”

“I’m never anybody but me. You feel better now? Get all of that out of your system?”

“Now that I have told you what separated us-.”

“I’m gonna take that as a no.”

“Can you fill me in on the years that followed?”

“Doc, a lot of what I remember is like smoke - it’s hazy, and it’s hard to hold onto, can you be specific?”

“How about we start with something tangible?”

“Like what?”

“I am going to slip a paper and a pen through the slot in the door. Write down a list of the people who’ve tried to kill you.”

“You sure?”

“Yes. You told my associate a number of alarming things during his interview with you, and he reported that a not insignificant number of those things revolved around people trying to kill you.”

“A lot of them still want me dead, you know. If they figured out where I was, they might raid this place. It’s not too late to just… let me go, and we can pretend none of this happened. I’m not gonna hold a grudge against you, it's clear to me you've got issues because your real twin is either dead or hiding in Cuba.”

“They can try. They’ll fail.”

"Gutsy. We coulda been friends if you weren't insane."

"...We were."

"If you say so."

To be continued...

[ladykailitha]

Across a Crowded Room

*grumbles* I can't believe this IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE AND SHORT! Not only has it gotten a little angsty in middle there, it's about to breach 10k words. And I'm not even CLOSE to the ending.

The fuuuucckkkkk.

I was meant to be working on other things. Like editing a story to be beta'ed so I can put it on AO3 for you all, extending Batshit soulmates because I was skipping over too much, and wrapping up Glitters.

Guess who did none of those things because this story consumed my soul?

ME!!!

I will be posting this on Saturday as it's not one of my regular WIPs.

Enjoy. *sniffs* I guess.

Summary: Modern, no monsters AU. After they all graduated from high school the older teens drifted to other parts of the country. And while Steve and Eddie have made short trips to see each other, usually with the whole, they really haven't spent much time in the same room in years.

That all changes when Eddie is able to spend a week in Chicago with Steve and Robin.

But when Eddie sees Steve for the first time in years, he gets scared. Will have the courage to walk across that crowded room to be with Steve?

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

Eddie hadn’t seen Steve in years. After high school when they became friends through mutual parenting of six absolutely terrifyingly smart teenagers, they kinda went their separate ways.

Steve and Robin had gone to Chicago for college and Eddie and his band had gone further west to LA to try and make it as metal artists.

This is was the first time in a really long time that their schedules lined up. They talked all the time. Friends on all their social media. But they hadn’t seen each other since they said goodbye in Steve’s driveway four years ago.

Eddie was standing at the bar entrance where he was supposed to be meeting Steve, just staring at him.

God, he had been gorgeous in high school. Because of course he was. Captain of the basketball team, co-captain of the swim team, and the baseball team’s best hitter.

But he looked even more so now.

His honey colored, wind tussled hair had grown out a bit. A lock of hair flopped devastatingly in front of one of his hazel eyes. He had filled out some, once thin and wiry, now deep chested and toned. Even in the winterscape hell that was Chicago, Steve’s skin was warmly tanned.

He was laughing with a group of people and never had Eddie felt more out of place in his life, and that was saying something. He had been dropped off at his Uncle Wayne’s when he was twelve. Been nicknamed the “Freak”. And had always been flamboyantly himself: a big, gay, metal loving geek.

Eddie was about to turn around and go back the way he came when a familiar voice called his name.

He turned around and there was Robin Buckley. Steve’s platonic soulmate and best friend.

“Hey,” he croaked.

“Did you just get here?” she asked brightly.

Eddie nodded. “My flight was delayed three times. I haven’t even been to my hotel yet.”

Robin winced. “That sucks.” She looked at him more closely and he gulped. “You weren’t thinking of cutting and running were you?”

“Me?” Eddie said, dramatically clutching his hands to his chest. “I would ne–”

She raised an eyebrow at him, effectively shutting him up.

“I wasn’t gonna,” Eddie said mournfully, “until I got here. He just looks so happy. He doesn’t need someone like me coming back into his life like a wrecking ball.” He pulled out his phone and waved it at her. “Once I can get this charged, I’ll message him and tell him my flight got canceled and that’ll we’ll reschedule.”

She looked at his phone and then back up at him. “What happened to your phone?”

“My charging cable port snapped,” he grumbled. “And it died after the first delay.”

Again she winced in sympathy.

“You’re in love with him,” she said, “aren’t you?”

Eddie sighed and looked back over at Steve. One of his friends must have told a joke because Steve was laughing so hard his eyes were mere slits. He looked back at her and he sighed.

“The sky is blue, Midwestern winters suck,” he muttered, “and I’m in love with Steve Harrington.”

Robin rolled her eyes, then she got this calculating grin on her face.

“Uh oh.”

“I’ll tell you what,” she said slyly, “you let me do a little experiment with a small wager. If I win, you man up and tell him how you feel. If you win, you can tell him that your trip has been cut short and you have to go back in a couple of days and blow out his life again.”

Eddie pursed his lips and looked at back at Steve.

“What’s the experiment?” he asked.

Robin jumped up and down with glee. “I’m going to text Steve that I found you. You aren’t going to take your eyes off him the whole time. Then when I’m done, I’ll show the conversation.”

He licked his lips. “And what’s the wager?”

“You think he’s happier without you,” she said. “If that’s true, he’s not going to show a lot of excitement. He’ll be relieved and happy that you’re here, but no real enthusiasm. Right?”

Eddie just nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

“I know he’s going to flip out,” she continued with that sly grin. “He’s going to be jumping up and down and looking around for you, trying to find you in the crowd.”

“What if it’s somewhere in the middle?” Eddie asked honestly.

Robin cocked her head to the side. “Then you stay the full week and suss him out.”

Eddie let out a long sigh. “All right. You’re on.”

“Good!” she said. She grabbed him by the arms and moved him a little. “There. Now he won’t be able to spot you immediately.”

He had let himself be manhandled because he had long since learned that Robin could and would kick if he didn’t do what she wanted.

“Now, keep your eyes on Steve.”

Eddie scoffed. “Easiest thing in the world.”

Robin snorted and got out her phone.

He really wanted to look over her shoulder to see what she was typing because he was eaten up with curiosity about what she was sending Steve. But he did as he was told. He kept his eyes on the most beautiful boy in the world.

Steve pulled out his phone and then his head snapped up. He looked around excitedly. He started flapping his hands and talking animatedly with his friends. Eddie watched as he smoothed down his hair and wiped his hands on his jeans. He pulled out a breath mint out of his pocket and ducked his head when his friends obliviously teased him for it.

He looked over at Robin in shock.

“What the hell did you tell him?”

She turned her phone around and he read their conversation.

-Guess who I found by the door looking like a lost puppy?

-He’s here?

-Eddie’s here?

-Where?

-Why didn’t he text me? :(

-lol

-Calm down, I’ll bring him to you.

-The idiot’s phone died and his charger broke.

-I can’t be calm, how can I be calm? He’s here! He’s finally here.

“Oh.”

The little frownie face at the end of the “Why didn’t he text me?” message did Eddie’s heart in.

He cleared his throat. “Um...if I were to, say, I don’t know, go over there and kiss his lights out, would I get hate crimed?”

Robin laughed. “No. And there is no one in his friends that would be nasty about it either.”

Eddie nodded. “Lead the way.” He bowed and waved his hand dramatically so that she would go first.

“Nerd.”

Eddie cackled as he followed her to the table. Steve was on his feet the instant he saw him.

Eddie was a weak man. That had been pretty well established tonight. So he thought he could be excused when he picked Steve up by the waist and swung him around.

“Eddie!” Steve giggled.

Robin scoffed. “Gays are so disgusting.”

“Says the lesbian,” Steve said when Eddie had put him down.

“Lesbians are a different flavor of gay and thereby aren’t disgusting,” she said with a half shrug like it was a truth universally acknowledged or some shit.

He shook his head and turned back to Eddie, who had yet to let go of his waist. “I missed you, too, Eds.”

“I missed you so much, Stevie,” Eddie whispered back.

“Yeah?” Steve asked, hopeful.

“Yeah,” he breathed and lifted Steve’s chin. He pressed their lips together and suddenly Steve’s crowd of friends erupted into cheers.

Steve broke the kiss and stared up at Eddie in awe.

“Wow.”

Eddie giggled. “You like that?”

“Yeah,” Steve said, more than a little breathless. “You’re stuck now. That’s how I want you to greet me every time now.”

Eddie’s face split with a large grin. “You got it, baby.”

Robin cleared her throat. “May I remind you two that we are in fact in public?”

Eddie and Steve looked over at her and then back at each other. Robin isn’t sure who started it, but soon they both were laughing like children.

Steve introduced him to the small group of friends.

There was a sofa near the table Steve’s friends were sitting at so Eddie sat down there, so Steve could cuddle up on his side.

“How long are you in town for?” A punky Asian girl with pink and purple streaks in her short cropped hair asked. Steve had introduced her as Maria Nguyen. They had a couple of classes with each other.

Steve looked at Eddie as if he had been wondering the same thing.

Eddie chuckled. “That’s the surprise I was telling you about, darlin’. Me and the boys got a record deal and their headquarters and studio is right here in Chicago. So I will be moving to the fair Windy city.”

“You’re staying?” Steve asked, his voice rising with excitement.

“I’m in town for about a week to look for apartments and shit,” Eddie amended. “Then I will move here at the end of the month.”

“Holy shit!” Robin said, glaring daggers at him.

Steve picked up on the latent hostility, but Eddie shook his head and whispered, “I’ll tell you later.” He pressed a kiss to Steve hair.

“You have a band?” a large young man with freckles and braces asked. He had red hair and wire rimmed glasses. Steve said his was Jason, Justin...Jarren! That was it.

“Sure do!” Eddie said. “Corroded Coffin. Me and my three closest friends, besides Buck and Stevie here, have been out in LA playing our hearts out.”

“Buck?” Maria asked, rearing her head back.

“Buckley!” Eddie explained.

“So what kind of music do you play?” Jarren asked, leaning forward, very interested.

“Metal.”

Maria snorted. “Like that’s Steve’s least favorite kind of music.”

Steve sat up. “It is not! There are all sorts of music I don’t like. Metal can be good. It’s just the screamo shit I can’t stand. Corroded Coffin isn’t like that.”

“Yeah,” Robin agreed. “Hell, Steve would put pop music below metal and you know how much he loves Tears for Fears.”

Eddie groaned. “I still can’t believe of all the 80s bands out there to be your favorite you pick Tears for Fears!”

“What? They’re great.”

“Stevie, darlin’, love of my life,” Eddie said sweetly. “You cannot honestly tell me that their version of ‘Mad World’ is better than Gary Jules.”

“Wait?” Jarren said. “They did a cover of ‘Mad World’?”

Steve shook his head. “They sang it originally. Here let me show you.”

He pulled out his phone and handed it over. Robin, Maria, and Jarren huddled around the phone as they watched the video for it.

“That was trippy as hell,” Maria said, handing the phone back to Steve.

“I know, right?” Eddie said.

Steve rolled his eyes. “He does have a point regarding this one song. The original version is too fast for what the song is about.”

Eddie cackled with glee.

“I still maintain that Shout, Head Over Heels, and Everybody Wants to Rule the World are absolute bangers,” Steve huffed.

Eddie kissed his cheek and Steve blushed.

“Wait!” Jarren said, “Do my eyes deceive me or is Steve Harrington, the man, the myth, the legend, blushing?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Not that again. I don’t believe it was ever a thing.”

Eddie sat up on the sofa, too and looked Steve in the eye. “What’s this, babe?”

“Stevie here made a girl come just by talking to her,” Robin said with a grin.

Eddie licked his lips slowly and Steve blushed deeper. “Did you now?”

“No!” Steve insisted. “That was just the excuse she used for running away after I badly flirted with her.”

Maria scoffed. “Dude, I was there, you did not flirt badly.”

Eddie pulled Steve close to his side and murmured in his ear. “I fully expect the full Harrington Charm experience, sweetheart.” His voice dropped really low. “Because I bet you could make me come just from the sound of your voice.”

Steve’s eyes went wide and he ducked his head.

Maria shook her head. “I can’t believe that King Steve got out rizzed by this swagless loser. How in the hell?”

“Maria!” Jarren hissed. “He does not look like a swagless loser. You take that back. He’s cool.”

Eddie turned to Steve. “Looks like you’re going to have to be the tie-breaker, sweetheart.”

“How’s that?” Steve asked. “Robin hasn’t said anything yet.”

“Ah, but that’s because I think I’m cool,” Eddie said holding up one finger, “and I know that Robin would vote for swagless loser.”

Robin snorted. “Damn right I would.”

“So it’s girls verses guys,” Steve said thoughtfully.

Jarren snorted. “More like lesbians verses the gays.”

Steve cocked his head to the side and then nodded.

“I dub thee my really cool metalhead geek!” Steve said solemnly.

Everyone’s eyes narrowed at him.

“Babe...” Robin said. “Did you just go down the middle of the road to avoid an argument?”

Steve batted his eyelashes at her. “Maybe...”

Eddie huffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest, pouting. Steve leaned forward and kissed the bottom of his jaw.

“How about my very cool, gorgeous, metalhead boyfriend?” he murmured softly.

Eddie looked down at him eyes wide. “Holy shit, you mean that?”

Steve nodded.

Eddie swiftly brought their mouths together and kissed Steve deeply. “That is acceptable.”

Steve giggled.

The night past in good company and drinks.

Eddie had duck out early because he still had to check into his hotel, but he kissed Steve goodbye and left with a spring in his step.

****

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Also, also. I forgot to mention that the title comes from a song by Counting Crows called Long December. So in my head I was singing, It's been so long since you came to (Indiana) I think you should!

Never mind they're in Illinois and the actual lyric is California.

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666 @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

[ronwestbreeze]

TO YOU , WORLDS AWAY | PART ONE : CHAPTER ONE

pairing: jake sully x human!fem!reader

summary: in which the story starts and finds you in a place of malevolence. a reluctant return to hell's gate leads you to meeting jake sully

warnings: none!

word count: 3.6k

author's note: finally posting this! there's no schedule for how i'm going to release these but i hope to be at least consistent! just no demanding me to post the next chapter or to finish, that doesn't help much with writing. anyways, hope you guys enjoy!

italics is speaking in na'vi

AO3 | masterlist | next

Powder covered your hands by the time the radio next to you came to life. Last time that radio came on, Dr. Grace Augustine had, very heatedly, called on you to fix one of the link units. Some genius had thought it was a good idea to kick at it in anger, knocking a few wires loose. Didn’t do any real damage but that guy never slipped into another link unit again. He’d have Grace to thank for that. And his temper.

That had been months ago. You hadn’t been back in Hell’s Gate since then.

Surprisingly enough, it was Trudy. “Hey, Doc. Mind comin’ to look at one of the computers in the lab? I think one of those science geeks broke a monitor or somethin’.”

Without looking up from your work, you reply, “Then buy a new one. My job is to fix shit, not consult about some stupid monitor.”

There were muffled voices further away as the radio cut in and out a few times. Seconds later, Trudy finally spoke again, “Uh, my bad, it’s not a monitor. It’s some….uh…power box, I guess. Glitched out on the geeks, now they don’t have power in a few of the computers.”

It took a moment for you to respond. Both because of the weak radio signal in the middle of the forest and because you had to take a few moments to program your newly robotic arm helper to finish off your new invention, which you had been working on for nearly half a year now. Project Pandora is what you called it.

“Trudy,” you finally say, picking up the radio and pushing the chair away from the desk and toward the small window on the other side of the little space, “why are you, a pilot no less, asking me about computers in a lab?”

There is a hesitant silence on the other end. But after listening closely, you realized there was another muffled conversation going on further away, one that the radio couldn’t really pick up.

Eventually, Trudy’s voice reached the radio again. “I told you she’d see right through it.” It sounded as if she was talking to someone and that someone was muttering something further away from the radio. Trudy sighed before continuing, “Look, Doc. I’m gonna be blunt with you. Parker’s too much of a pussy to do it himself so he got me in here to reach you.”

You clicked your tongue, “Why am I not surprised.”

“He’s scared of you.”

“More than Grace?”

There were louder muffles, almost audible if not for the static from the radio. “Parker wants you back at the gate…and to tell you that he’s not scared of you.”

After a while, the radio finally cut off and you sat there. Outside the little window was the forest of Pandora, your view for the past few months. And really, you would like to keep it that way from now on. Being away from Hell’s Gate has brought you a sense of peace and a sense of forgetting. Although, the forgetting was harder said than done.

No matter what you did, there was nothing that could make you forget what these humans were doing to Pandora, what they planned to do, what they already had done. It was a bunch of bullshit really. The RDA complained that they weren’t making any progress with the Na’vi, the people of  Pandora, while at the same time attacking them and threatening to take over the land by wiping out the indigenous.

You had come here to learn about this species and quite possibly one day live among them, not take over. Which is why you separate yourself from Hell’s Gate after the incident. But it seemed no matter what you did to keep away from them, somehow you were always brought back in.

It had to be him behind it. That man was stubborn enough to keep you in his control just as you were stubborn enough to find any way to stay far away from that place.

“Doc?” Trudy’s voice came in through the radio. With a frown, you looked back at your robotic arm and the invention, deep in thought. “You there?”

With a sigh, you replied, “There’s no other engineers up there? Mechanics?”

“Most of them are workin’ on those AMPs. Parker wants you. The best of the best, you know?”

You frown, “Doesn’t sound as great as it did years ago.”

“Don’t think too much about it. You’ll be in and out. Then you’ll get to go back to your little lab in the woods and stay secluded like the hermit that you are.” Trudy teased in an attempt to lighten your mood. And you did try to smile at the joke, just a little bit, but the thought about going back, about stepping your foot back into that place, somehow he’d win.

“I could say no.” You try, even though you were getting up and sliding your boots on. “Tell him to find some other unfortunate engineer to do his shit.”

“You could.” Trudy agreed. “That would definitely make Parker pop a vein. But if we sent in someone else that isn’t you, it sure as hell wouldn’t get done quickly or right. So there’s that.”

“Hmm, I’d say let them rot.” You grumble as you grab your mask and place it on your face.

Trudy laughed on the other end as you stepped out of the lab. The air was fresh on your skin but poisonous to your lungs. Still, it did feel somewhat nice stepping out of your stuffy lab for once. Being surrounded by beautiful forest. The beauty of Pandora still never failed to amaze you despite your grim attitude as of lately. There was something so special about this planet, something you never felt on your home planet, Earth.

You just wished the circumstances were different.

“You’re a genius, Doc.” Parker praised as you closed the power box.

“Is that all?” You asked dryly, rolling your sleeve back down as you began leaving the dark room.

The administrator followed after you as you sauntered through the halls, ready to go back to the forest and your private lab. “Yeah, well, I believe that should be all. I knew you could do it the best too, my guys are useless when it comes to this stuff.”

“Stop kissing ass, Selfridge.” Both you and Parker turned to find Grace waltzing down the hall toward the two of you. A smirk was on her lips when her eyes landed on you. “Tinkers! Never thought I’d see you come out of your little hole. How long has it been? Three? Four months?”

Despite where you were, you gave a small smile, “Hi Grace.”

Parker excused himself immediately much to your relief, going back to his usual spot, which was overseeing all the link units of the Avatar Program. You raised your brows at how quickly he left but you figured it was mostly because he didn’t want to hear Grace go on and on about the beauties of Pandora. Parker was the type of guy who only cared about what profited him the most. And the last thing he wanted to hear was how innocent everything was. Would make him lose track of the most important goal.

And for that, you despised that man. Parker must��ve sensed your dislike for him and found it intimidating, especially when it came to calling on you for favors such as fixing an electric power box.

Behind her were three other men. One of which you knew by Dr. Patel, the other two you guessed were new.

Grace crossed her arms, not bothering to introduce the two other males behind her as she spoke in a lowered voice, “Coming back this time around?”

You shook your head, “No. Just here for a small fixer upper. I should be heading back soon actually.”

“You sure?” Grace then gestured to the two behind her, giving you an exasperated look, “Could really use someone familiar out there. To the land and the people.” You didn’t respond right away which the scientist noticed. “Forget about Quaritch, you know you want to get back out there. Your avatar’s waiting—”

“Who's the newbies?” You addressed Dr. Patel, earning a glare from Grace at your efforts of quickly changing the conversation. It was something you definitely weren’t going to discuss here and especially in front of the new people who were watching the two of you a little too closely for your liking.

Dr. Patel smiled at you in greeting before gesturing to the two other men. “This is Norm Spellman, our new biologist for the team. Fellas, this is Dr. Y/N L/N, our best engineer at RDA.”

The tall lanky one stepped forward and offered his hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Doctor, I’ve actually heard a lot about your work here. Well, your mother’s work, I should say.” Grace rolled her eyes as you tried not to wince at the mention of your mother. But of course, Norm didn’t notice and kept going, “Also, very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a brilliant mind, the best of our kind—”

“Alright, Spellman.” Grace gave him a pointed look before nodding over to the man in the wheelchair, “You remember Tom Sully? Well, this is his worse half, Jake Sully. He’s unfortunately replacing Tom in the program.”

“Thank you for that, Gracie.” Jake retorted just as quickly.

“Fuck off.” Grace glared and nudged your side. “Ignore him, I do.”

Yes, you did hear about this. Tom’s unfortunate death led them to scramble for a quick replacement. You never met Tom yourself so you never had much of an attachment to him. Neither did Grace but you could tell that wasn’t the only thing annoying her. If you had to guess, Jake was probably drastically different from his late brother and Grace didn’t have much patience for that.

Still, you offered him a kind smile. “Ma’am.” He nodded to you, offering his own hand which you shook.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sully.” You glanced from a pensive Grace to Jake. “I imagine you know a lot about the program similar to your brother.”

Jake tilted his head, “I watched a Netflix special once.”

Grace scowled, Dr. Patel coughed to cover a smile, and Norm shifted on his feet awkwardly, watching the two of them.

You found yourself grinning for the first time in a while., “I don’t know, Augustine. I kind of like him. “

Grace rolled her eyes, “Whatever. We’re heading over to the link units. It’s about time the two of you get acquainted with your avatar form.” She then addressed you but in Na’vi surprisingly. “And when will you bring out yours? Don’t try to change the subject this time, Tinkers.”

Feeling Jake’s curious and confused gaze on the two of you, you answer in a quick hiss, “Drop it.” Then you turned to Jake and smiled, “S’ nice to meet you, Mr. Sully—”

“Jake.” He nodded toward you with a little smile of his own. “You can call me Jake.”

Your smile grew, “Alright, Jake. Welcome to Pandora.” She pointed at Grace with her thumb, “Don’t let her ruin the experience, yeah? She can be a little twitchy sometimes.”

“Go back to your hole, Tinkers!” Grace called over her shoulder as she continued down  the hall with Norm and Dr. Patel following after her.

“Right up your ass, Augustine!” You shot back with a smirk before sending Jake a wink.

Jake, despite his previous stoic expression, found himself grinning at you. “Nice to meet you, L/N.”

“Y/N.” You corrected, moving around him to head the opposite direction. “Or Doc, either way, don’t be so formal. Especially with me.”

He nodded, “I’ll make sure to remember that.”

With that, you watched as he rolled away in the direction the others went. Once the company was gone, your shoulders sagged a bit, slightly exhausted from the small interaction and because of the busy environment of Hell’s Gate as you made your way out of it.

Just as you were about to reach outside and grab your mask, one of the soldiers, Wainfleet, blocked your exit while sitting in one of those AMPs.

“Doc! Leaving so soon?” He grinned down at you.

“Move, dipshit.” You say bluntly, gripping the mask in your hands while glaring up at him.

He shrugged, grinning cockily down at her. “Can’t do that, Doc. Colonel heard you crawled out of your little hole you’ve been hiding in the past few months. He wants to see you.”

“Tell him to eat shit, ya know, like in all the messages I replied to.”

When you tried going around him, he stepped in your way, aggravating you more.

“Look, cupcake. We could either do this the easy way or the hard way. Easy way, you go and see Colonel yourself or hard way I drag your tiny ass over there.”

At this point, the more you gripped at the mask, the more it was possible it could break in your grasp. So you hooked your mask back onto your belt, seething eyes never leaving Wainfleet. It was possible to shut down the AMPs in your current height. You’d done it before but it was with someone who lacked experience controlling those things.

Wainfleet on the other hand was often training himself in them, which would lead to a more difficult and quite possible deadly attempt at escape.

Which meant, unfortunately, you didn’t have much of a choice.

With your dignity burying itself into the ground, you followed Wainfleet further into the Armor Bay where multiple more AMPs were lined up along with the ships and planes the pilots controlled.

When you arrived at the small gym room where Quaritch was currently benching, Wainfleet left you alone but you didn’t move to further enter the room. All you did was scowl and stand in the doorway with crossed arms, waiting for him to acknowledge you.

And you knew he knew you were there.

“I was wondering when we’d get the chance to talk again.” Quaritch finally said, putting down the weights as he sat up. He grabbed a towel next to him and began wiping the sweat off his sweat. “Are you finally done with your tantrum?”

He wanted you to snap, rise to the provoking. But you remained silent, your jaw clenching just a bit as your eyes narrowed in on him. Quaritch was watching you closely as well, probably waiting for you to react.

“Ah, the silent treatment. Guess I should’ve expected that too.” He threw the towel to the side before looking up at you with a smirk. “Thought you made a vow never to set foot in here again. Made a whole dramatic scene about it too—”

“What do you want?” You ask simply.

Quaritch now scowled at your indifference or rather rebellion, you couldn’t really tell. “I want you to get your act together. I don’t have time for you throwing fits like a child because you don’t get your way. This is a mission, Doc, and your job is to—”

“My job was to help the people.” You hissed, stepping only a few feet into the room. “To build a connection with them. That was your orders. That’s what you asked me to do. And what does the RDA do? Fuck it all up by shooting a bunch of Na’vi, leaving them for dead!”

Quaritch rolled his eyes, “You’re still on that?”

You seethed, “You don’t even understand what you did! You would think thinking smartly would crossed your thick fucking skull—”

“That’s enough from you!” He barked in his Colonel voice. “Disrespect me like that again and I will boot you right off of this planet as fast as I got you on it, you hear me?”

“Do it then.” You challenged, hands shaking from anger. “You’ve had plenty of times to get rid of me. If you find me so much of a problem, why am I still here?”

You half expected him to keep shouting at you, yell at you into submission like he does his subordinates. But instead, Quaritch chuckled as he stood up. “Moments like this, you remind me of your father. Good man, acted just like you. Which was what made him the best soldier. Which made him a good captain.”

He was changing the conversation, he was trying to have power over you without being forthright about it. He had done this before whenever you tried arguing, it was his way of shutting you down without getting into a fight.

“You’re a smart cookie, Doc. And I know you’re smart enough to realize your value to this team. To the program.” He flashed his white teeth at you. “You and I both know I can’t get rid of you that easily. And I won’t. I made a vow after all.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, wondering just where this conversation was going. Every time he brought up that damned vow it usually was followed by something for her to do. A favor. Something to keep her distracted.

“So let’s put the whole past to rest—”

“I rather not—” Quaritch cut you off just as fast as you did.

“And focus on the current future. Have you met Corporal Sully?”

You frown, suddenly remembering Jake’s charming smile. “What, he’s your new little puppet now?”

Quaritch wasn’t phased by the comment as he sat back down on the bench, “He’s got promise that kid. I tasked him to get to know the Na’vi people and learn their ways, to gain information for me.” You scoffed in disbelief as he continued. “Since you’re so well versed in their culture, I want you to give him some pointers. A tutor if you will.”

“Like hell I will—”

“And yes, you can decline.” Quaritch began lifting the weights again, “And then the RDA can take your little secluded lab away, destroying everything you’ve worked on. I’m sure that would be smart.”

This was where you had to control yourself. Your reaction. Your anger. You remembered a certain project that you were just nearly done with. Something you had been working on dedicatedly ever since the incident. If Quaritch or any of the RDA were to discover it, you were sure you would be exiled back to Earth.

Or quite possibly killed.

“What do you say, kid?” Quaritch noticed your silence.

With a scowl, you gritted out, “Fine.”

From the bench, the Colonel grinned, “Good girl! Now we can really get to work!” He placed the weight back down and stood, “Let’s go tell Sully the good news.”

When arriving in the link room, you lingered behind while Quaritch approached one of the link beds that was just opening. Jake happened to be in that one as he sat up, immediately spotting the Colonel walking toward him.

“Sir.” Jake greeted, briefly glancing your way for a moment longer before turning back to the Colonel.

Quaritch nodded in greeting and gestured to you, “I assume you’ve already met, Dr. L/N, the best of the best in the Avatar Program.”

“What do you want, Quaritch?” Grace cut in as she pushed open her own link bed. She noticed the angered look on your face and raised her brows, silently questioning you.

“She’s going to be showing the ins and outs of the Na’vi, she’ll give you some pointers to better prepare yourself for the program.” Quaritch winked as he clapped his hand on your shoulder. “You do best following her lead, might keep you alive, Corporal.”

Jake nodded, eyes alight, “Will do, sir.”

Quaritch’s grip on your shoulder tightened, “Take care of our boy, will you, Doc.”

Carefully, you reply, “He’s in good hands…sir.”

Grace narrowed her eyes at you while Jake frowned, finally noticing your change in behavior compared to your earlier brighter demeanor.

Satisfied, Quaritch gave you another rough pat on your back before leaving you with Grace, Jake, and as soon as he came out of his link bed, Norm.

“Tinkers.” Grace brought your attention back to her. She gave you a meaningful look before speaking in Na’vi, “What happened?”

Instead of responding to her, you nodded toward the three with an impassive expression, “I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

You needed some time away, to calm down, to reevaluate some things. If only you had left as quickly as you had planned to, none of this would have occurred. You wouldn’t be feeling so helpless right now as you stalked through the halls, practically glaring at everything around you. At this rate, you wished that bastard dropped you back on Earth. At least you would be far away from this shit.

“Hey, Doc!”

A part of you wanted to just keep going and ignore Jake Sully when he called for you. But you stopped anyway despite yourself and turned to find him rolling toward you.  He stopped a few feet away from you, frowning at your guarded behavior. “I know I’m not well informed about all of this the way you’d like but I’m sure I can catch on fast—”

“Let’s get one thing very clear, Sully. I know you’re working with Quaritch. I know you’re planning on lying to them, gaining information for him to use or whatever the hell he’s planning. I don’t want any part of it.” You shoved your hands into your pants pockets glaring at the surprised man. “You’ve aligned yourself with a dangerous man, Sully. I hope you understand what you’re doing here.”

Just as you turned to walk away, Jake called out to you again, “So is that your advice then? As my tutor?”

 “No. Not all of it.” You glanced over your shoulder at him and shrugged, “Try not to die, Jake.”

taglist: @luvvfromme @sully-stick-together @dazedshoon

[wyngigi]

ꕀ LUST FOR LIFE ꕀ 01

↳ sex money feelings die remastered .ᐟ cross posted on ao3

navigation┆prologue┆next prologue is significant to plot pls read <3

“ they say only the good die young, that just ain't right 'cause we're having too much fun, too much fun tonight ”

↳ synopsis: a group of individuals find that their first taste of freedom in the world brings more obstacles than expected. some of them, find solace by drowning in liquor or in the backseat of somebody else’s car. a lot of them have got to get their shit together. a lot of them won't.

mdni » story contains nsfw content intended for 18+ audiences pairings » member specific, not listed for spoiler purposes ↳󠁪󠁪 ateez x female reader, ateez x ateez ↳ genre » coming of age ↳ word count » 2.7k ↳ general warnings » substance abuse & consumption, sexual content, morally grey characters, unreliable narrators, internalised homophobia, angst, basically every struggle young adolescence can go through

01⌇even if just for a little bit

Nobody plans to get addicted to something, obviously. But even once they do realise it, or if they ever do, it’s usually too late. Every step taken to addiction kills someone slowly, whether it be the heart, the liver or the lungs. Nonetheless, the user will undoubtedly repeat their actions. Death does not scare them; death is a promise. Life instead, is worse. It's unpredictable. Life feels unfriendly and cold. It laughs in their face every time they take a fall.

So, in return they’ll chase something to soothe their aches. Whatever gives them the best high, makes them feel like they own the world, that every problem has ceased to exist, and that everything’s gonna be fine. Even if just for a little bit. One more sip, one more drag, another needle dug into their arm doesn’t feel as terrible when they know after their sins, death will open its arms, and they are free to run into the warm embrace.

The first few minutes after Hongjoong wakes up he refuses to open his eyes, not a muscle in his body moves. Every single limb throbs in a dull ache. His throat is dry, and he fights to keep whatever concoction he indulged in last night down. The sun glares over him. He shuts his eyes tighter and mentally notes to close his blinds as soon as he gets up. His cheap mattress feels like concrete underneath the front of his body and he assumes his pillow has been discarded to his bedroom floor. He flings his arm out to his side to reach for his phone. He does not find it, and worse, his nightstand feels far too familiar to a concrete pavement. So does his mattress.

The distant sound of cars driving down the street allows him to confirm (not that it was needed) that he is not, in fact, in his shitty one-bedroom apartment. He cranks his neck upwards, the left side of his face now disconnected from the scratchy floor. Hongjoong takes a long inhale and the stench of something god-awful invades his senses. His mouth coats itself with saliva and he loses the battle he was otherwise winning earlier.

Like the millions of times before, he plants himself on his knees, one arm wraps around his torso and the other holds himself up as much as he can. The thought of calling his parents and asking them for help crosses his mind before he can fully squash the idea away. Hongjoong scoffs at himself, there were two things other people knew about him.

First, that he was stubborn. The type of guy who’d scale a building before letting someone else get their way. And second, that his pride would be the death of him. With just how bad his head was pounding; law school had suddenly not seemed like such a terrible idea. His parents owned some major conglomerates that could’ve paid for his entry into the big-league colleges but no, he just had to decide art school was his true calling.

It would’ve been easier, he supposes. He knows. Learn business, economics or whatever and then join one of his parent’s companies. A high-paying career and future was laid out for him, yet he went the other direction much to his parent’s dismay. His mom swears that paint fumes must’ve gotten to his head, sometimes Hongjoong agrees. It is a possible conclusion.

They don’t contact him, ever. One year into art school still wasn’t enough time for them to get used to their son’s “juvenile dreams” but they do send him some money to help him get by every month. He knows they’re trying to bribe him back, into law school and shit but they don’t need to know that’s not happening. Who gives a shit, Hongjoong’s just grateful he isn’t completely estranged yet.

Fatigue racks through his body as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. He allows his body to rest against the bricked wall of the alley. Fatigued by the events of the previous night, he makes no move to head back to his very humble abode just yet. Hongjoong runs a finger over his lips, they’re chapped and no doubt starting to peel. He shudders as the metallic taste of blood seeps out of the cracks when he frowns. His eyelids feel heavy, so he shuts them again.

Moving out of his old place and leaving his roommate was coming in handy. Even if it meant his new apartment was too expensive, having to stumble into the old shared one with last night’s clothes on got far too humiliating for him. Specifically, when his roommate had their friend group over all the time. He’d have to give them all a curt wave before hastily going back to his room. He didn’t know any of them, so it didn’t seem necessary for more. Hongjoong had nothing against them, especially not the pretty one who always stared at him through sharp hooded eyes.

Before heading back to his apartment, Hongjoong stops at a convenience store.

When Yunho would wake up after a one-night stand that he didn’t bring back to his own place, he followed the routine many people universally did. He collected his clothes, got dressed, made his way out of the bedroom as soon as possible. Then he headed back to his dorm. The walk of shame was never humbling, not until now.

His roommate, another victim to last night’s campus rager is sitting on the carpeted floor, back resting against his bed. He massages his temples disgruntledly before reaching for the water bottle on his nightstand. Alerted by the doorknob twisting, Yeosang meets Yunho’s eyes and raises his eyebrows. “Had fun last night?” Yeosang has got a toothless grin on his face as he watches the latter chuck his belongings onto his own nightstand and faceplant onto his covers.

Yunho doesn’t reply with words, half because what he says is muffled and also because he really doesn’t want to reply at all. Yunho slept with someone while he was drunk last night. That wasn’t the problem though. That he was drunk. Or that he had sex. Yunho has hooked up with many people. He understands that the twenty first century is far more advanced and open, that is also not a problem. He’s also not bad at sex, his previous encounters have always been enjoyable for both parties. As well as the occasional third parties.

What happened last night was a first, and he should hope it’s also the last. Yunho doesn’t though.

The lack of proper reply had Yeosang confused, Yunho wasn’t exactly the kiss and tell type but even with some shitty hangover he had a more boastful demeanour upon returning from whatever hook up he had. Yeosang rolls his eyes, shuffling over to the other’s nightstand to pull out a lighter and a plastic bag of pre-rolls.

Weed makes Yunho chatty, and Yeosang wants to know the truth. He nudges the taller boy to move, and Yunho makes the half-hearted effort of rolling onto his side instead. Yunho lights the joint, inhaling before chucking the lighter back into the open drawer. He hands the other the stick, watching as Yeosang’s pretty lips wrap around the joint.

The boy looks up at him as smoke escapes his mouth in small swirls. Has his roommate always had such fuck me eyes? Why is he sitting like that infront of Yunho? Christ, this weed is strong. Why does his face feel so flushed all of a sudden? The boy speaking draws him out of his trance. “So how bad was your hookup? Don’t tell me she was some ugly chick when she rolled over,” Yunho chews on his bottom lip, playing with the fabric of his covers. His words are hard to focus on, his roommate has such a nice voice. He gulps, his heartbeat speeding up. “No, that’s not it."

“Then what is it? I’d be happier if I were you,” Yeosang muses as he turns to face the other completely, head tilting to the side. Yunho wishes the boy would stop licking his lips like that, cotton mouth be damned. Yunho feels everything around him blur; eyes focused on the boy’s exposed neck. Yeosang’s hand stretches around the plastic water bottle, Yunho’s jaw clenching tighter as a stray drop of water falls from the side of Yeosang’s mouth. He clears his throat before he opens his mouth to respond. Through a weed-induced haze, Yunho accidentally slurs out, “it wasn’t a she.”

Yeosang indulges in every party he hears about, doesn’t matter what’s happening the next morning. That’s the thrill of it, to see just how fucked up he can get and how quickly he’ll recover. He also loves hook-ups, he’s not against dating but he doesn’t think he could be a great boyfriend to anyone right now. Call it emotional unavailability if you wish, he’s just trying to live his college life to the fullest. So, a casual hookup seems like the obvious solution to him, he’s not some prick who wants to lead anyone on, but you know, he still has needs.

Yeosang chucks his head back as he downs a cup handed to him by his friend, swaying too slowly for how upbeat the song is. It doesn’t matter, he’s in his own world as he watches the people around him make out. He’s not judging them though, just looking for someone to do it with too. He’s also not desperate for a fuck, pickier instead.

He has rules for who he sleeps with, it’s not a free for all with Yeosang. They can’t be from his close friend circle, not that there’s many people included in that list to begin with. It gets too messy sometimes, just doesn’t want the vibe to change if one night he’s fucking the shit out of someone he’s gonna go take to lunch the day after, platonically. His next rule is no co-workers. He breaks that rule far too much. Yeosang is more lenient with this one, depending on how pretty the person is.

The rule was established his first year of college. Freshly employed at a cute little ice cream parlour. Yeosang and the guy he worked with had been locked in the freezer room thanks to the faulty handle. They were on break after serving sundaes to a pair who looked like they were on a first date, flirting as they moved empty metal tins and stacked them on the shelves. When the large door wouldn’t budge, they texted their boss and all they had left to do was wait till he arrived.

Long story short, Yeosang learnt just how many ways ice cream could be eaten. Fun times. Well, it was, till his co-worker and him got carried away and Yeosang got fired for the first time. He still sees his ex-co-worker around campus time to time, they aren’t the closest, but they share a friendly smile before making their own way in a different direction.

Not all his hookups are the same though, some will just walk by him without a glance, and he would do the same. Yeosang doesn’t harbour romantic feelings for anyone he’s shared a bed (or other various surfaces) with. He makes sure of that with another one of his rules to never sleep with the same person twice, so when a familiar face with blonde hair approaches him he greets them before making his way to another area. He’s not gonna be rude to people he’s hooked up with, but he knows to at least enforce that it was a one-time thing before they try get too pushy.

Eventually when he settles down, he wants it to be someone he actually knows beyond just being naked with. His last rule is to not hookup with anyone he lives with. Far too domestic. (He certainly didn’t make this rule upon meeting Yunho for the first time.)

Point is, Yeosang loves living life till a certain extent. He doesn’t enjoy the messy situationships and will do his best to avoid them at all costs. His dick unfortunately betrays him on several occasions.

Standing in the walk-in freezer of the café he works for, knocking back too many pills wasn’t something Seonghwa predicted for his future after graduating high school. Sure, he knew he’d probably end up drinking a little too much in college (which he did last night) but shit, pills? Even that had him shocked the first time he truly registered it. He chuckles, looking down at the now empty capsule bottle. The fluorescent lights above him make the orange bottle glow in his trembling hand.

His vision blurs for a moment, and then everything around him feels so much more vivid. As he inhales, the chilled air of the freezer enters his lungs without protest, and he feels alive again. The beat of his heart speeds up and every sound around him becomes just that much clearer. With a couple more minutes till his break ends, he savors the feeling as much as he can.

The first batch of painkillers he received were for his shoulder injury, they had run out two months ago. The second round he got was from telling his doctor the pain hadn’t stopped. It had, the pain was gone, but the high he got after the first time he took too many was something he wasn’t ready to let go just yet. He knew addiction was stupid, for a multitude of reasons.

Number one because of all those talks they gave him back in his high school’s health class. Don’t drink alcohol, don’t smoke weed, never even look at cocaine. Shit like that didn’t really stop people, not in Seonghwa’s case at least. Teachers would list reasons like how it’d make you lose all your relationships with loved ones, or you’d end up so fucked in the head you’d get fired and end up on the street.

Seonghwa still had friends, contacted his parents like once every month and still worked at a shitty café. Therefore, he didn’t think that the first reason could really classify him as an addict. Or convince him to stop.

Number two, also taught in those lectures back in high school was that even if you were just drinking or smoking every now and then, that addiction sneaks up on you before you realise it. That eventually, whatever you take won’t be enough, and you’ll start shooting up heroin before your eighteenth birthday.

He proved them wrong, for the most part. He hadn’t touched heroin, but he guesses that yeah, that second bottle of pills started to not be enough too. His excuse was how much extra energy it gave him at work, then for studying a couple more hours into the night, then because it helped him wake up quicker in the mornings. It certainly helped him recover from last night’s party. That’s all it was really, a boost. People had their coffee every morning, so fuck it why not?

Seonghwa didn’t go back when his break was over, and he didn’t care much too. The owner was holed up in his office texting a woman (that was not his wife) so it’s not like he’d notice. Call him a piece of shit for not telling her but he wasn’t about to sacrifice his job for a woman that he didn’t know that well. Hell, it’s not like it was easy for him to hand her a coffee every day and thank her as she dropped her change in his tip jar.

Too much thought put into that was not good for his nerves.

Seonghwa exhales, laying against the metal shelves, pulling his phone out his back pocket. Ignoring notifications for overdue fees and his parent’s texts he continued scrolling. After finding the right contact he held his phone up to his ear. After a few seconds the call had been picked up, the tremble in his hand had stopped but his grip on the container tightened.

navigation┆prologue┆next

[otomiyaa]

nice.png

(literally how I named the image, couldn't think of something else)

Hi guys :') To my followers and tumblr friends, I'm really sorry if my sudden disappearance scared or upset you. It wasn't quite... planned. And today was a busy day and I needed some time to consider what I wanted to do.

Short version of the story:

My tumblr account got terminated for copyright infringement. A certain Mr. Green got me in unlucky trouble (ref 1, 2).

I won't get it back, or try to get it back. It's gone.

Needed a moment to consider 2 options: ask Mia to extend my dramatic farewell letter and stay gone, or make a new blog.

Not planning to post new writing here. I won't be using words like 'never' or 'forever' because I'm a known clown with things like this, but the intention is to no longer post fics. I will finish Tickletober on AO3 and then take a break from writing. So yes, I cancel the swiftscribbles event too, sorry!

When I opened my laptop, I could see my old blog in its final hour lmao (I found out about the loss on my phone). So that's what the snap is from on a fitting grave. It was fun while it lasted!

Long version of the story:

Losing my blog(s): My Tumblr account with main blog + sideblogs got terminated overnight, it was quite the surprise! I've either been reported or tracked by bots. The posts are a bunch of numbered URLs I can't open, but the message is clear: for including anime content, genshin impact or media from other sources (whether it's videos, screenshots, official art, gifs or even fanwork) you technically can get a strike. Upon googling the claimer I quickly found this first, and knew it was a lost cause. Although it feels shitty and unlucky, I am in no place to appeal. It's like when I used to make AMVs in the past, you never knew whether a song or even anime footage was going to give your YT account a copyright strike or even a ban, it was a gamble. I have lost YT accounts before, and now I lost the Tumblr one. With 7+ years of tickle trash content and a bunch of sideblogs. But oh well, moving on!

Starting a new blog: It was a serious consideration whether this was my ultimate chance to do what I've always said I wanted to do eventually - quit my blog. My first thought was to ask Mia to share my explanation and literal goodbye with you guys, and stick to my chaos of a Twitter account to indulge in fandom stuff. But then I thought of how happy Tumblr made me, even without the fic writing, but just.. reblogging things, getting random asks, shouting about life and of course, about tickles. I decided to make a new blog after all, but also decided the following:

The 7K+ milestone swiftscribbles event is cancelled, for which I apologize! The follower milestone, together with the motivation to write the fics, and even the asks with the requests I got, all died with my former blog.

I will see how long I can survive without posting a new fic or drabble. A loose headcanon or two might fly around sometime. And if necessary, a link to a new fic on AO3.

Tickletober? Hell yes I'll finish it, I would cringe in bed for 49 days at least if I would stop. I just won't post the fics here, but on AO3.

Reposting/reblogging my old works? Undecided at the moment but I'm tired and lazy. I don't feel too upset since most of my fics are still on AO3 at least and not completely gone.

Anyways, I'll see what happens and how long I can enjoy this nerfed version of blogging.

Surprisingly I'm not upset about losing my other blog, there were a lot of memories but it was also very cringe. I'm gonna be just as cringe here, but at least I feel cleansed.

For those who choose to follow me again, thank you, but please know that there won't be much original content coming from me, for now!:)

[theosphobia]

Hello rvbblr, rvb tumblr, the 3 people always liking my posts.

I bring my first ever fanfiction. and its rvb. idk how ao3 works so im just gonna drop it in here and hope thats accceptable.... erm... anyways

Everyone got seperated; the reds and blues were scattered in a pirate stronghold. Their long range comms were down and pirates lurked around every corner trying to hunt the sim troopers down.

Washington had just survived a scuffle, breaking into a run as he heard familiar shouting not too far off. Just around a couple shipping containers, Wash found Caboose standing over a pirate, Freckles' barrel smoking from fresh fire.

The blue caught the solider in the side of his vision and raised the ai-assisted rifle towards him, confetti dispersed from the gun.

"Friendly Signature Detected."

"Agent Washington! Uhm, he was like that when I got here."

Wash pushed the thought of Caboose firing at him away, he was just glad to see a friendly face.

"Caboose! Have you seen anyone else?" Wash asked, jogging up to the larger character.

Caboose looked back down at the pirate he was resting his foot on,

"On our team Caboose."

"Oh! No." Caboose shook his head and moved away from the body, sizing up to Wash.

"Are you doing okay? You hurt anywhere?" Wash started to walk and the other followed closely.

"I'm a little stressed out... and hungry.." he started. "We should find Griff next!"

Wash chuckled and patted Caboose on the back, "Hey Freckles?" The gun chimed in response, "can you find any other friendly contacts?"

"Nearest Friendly Tag is 356m away. Identification: Lavernius Tucker."

"Awesome, Can you guide us to him?" Wash asked. The custom laser sight on the rifle turned on and pointed forward. Caboose stared curiously, turning the gun from side to side, the line remained aimed toward its original path. Caboose gave a coo of amazement.

"Lets get going, the sooner we find the others the better."

--

Wash and Caboose followed Freckles' guide until they hit a large pond in the cave; they could see the remainder of the pirate stronghold on the otherside, but the water seemed to stretch to the walls, and they couldn't see the bottom. The laser ran true straight across the water.

Washington stopped for a moment to think while Caboose took a couple steps into the pond.

"I saw something over here! It might be those sim troopers!"

A voiced called from not too far away. Wash cursed to himself, a group of red dots were moving towards them on his motion tracker.

"Maybe they know how we can get across!" Caboose cheered, turning around towards the noise and started walking. Wash caught him by the arm,

"Caboose no they're trying to kill us remember?"

"Oh yeah.."

"There's no time, we're just gonna have to go through it." Wash sighed, leading the blue giant back towards the water and stepping in.

"Uhm I can't swim very well.." Caboose started, standing a bit back from Wash.

"We're not swimming, our suits will recycle air for a while, we should just be able to walk along the bottom." Washington informed him. The other man didn't argue, stashed Freckles, and followed along, both of the started to move as fast as they could in half-ton armour in water as the shouting grew louder.

They were fully submerged for a while before Wash started to notice something wrong, he was wet.

"Uh 'boose.... buddy, not to scare you or anything but I think my armour is filling up with water." Wash could feel a cut in his kevlar around his neck. He must have gotten it in that fight earlier.

"Wuh oh.." Caboose had stopped and turned to look at Wash, somehow he had managed to be moving faster than the freelancer. "Should we go back?" There was a tinge of panic in his voice.

"We can't... we just have to move faster, it can't be that much farther now" He tried holding his hand to seal the hole but water still managed to seep through his fingers, the water was hitting his waist now.

Caboose nodded and reached back, grabbing Wash's free hand, and started pulling him along so their treck sped up.

At some point, the weight behind him stalled.

"Agent Washington?"

"It's in my helmet."

Wash couldn't see, but Caboose's eyes widened. He moved closer to Washington,

"Freckles uhm.. how much further?" The blue asked as he began picking up Wash and slinging him over his shoulder without protest.

"Nearest Friendly Tag is 189m away"

Panic was rising in his voice, "okay thank you Freckles!" His speed was considerably lessened with the extra weight but that didn't stop Caboose from making his strides as quick as possible.

--

Wash had stopped responding about halfway from their predictament. Caboose didn't stop moving until they breached the shore on the other side.

Caboose laid Washington on the ground and unholstered Freckles, laying it behind them.

"Freckles you lookout for bad guys."

"Affirmative."

Oh crap oh crap oh crap... Caboose's hands shook as his fingers fumbled with the clasps on Wash's helmet and chestplate.

Water poured out as the seals broke, Wash's hair clung to his forehead. His chest laid still.

What do I do what do I do?? Think Michael think!! Caboose tried to remember what Doc had taught them ages ago. CPR CPR...

"First check to see if they're breathing! If they're not then you'll probably have to perform CPR. Since Grif already knows how to do it he'll be my demonstration."

Caboose glanced at the still freelancer, his chest was still, their chest moves when they breath right?

"Remember, you guys are wearing half-ton armour so you won't have to compress as hard as you would if you weren't. You should press down twice per second, there's songs that help but Beyoncé is timeless so we're gonna use Crazy In Love." Caboose positioned himself above Wash, tried to remember the correct hand shape, and hovered above the freelancer's chest. What if I mess up I don't want to kill Wash he's not special like Church is... he won't come back..

He took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. He started compressing, finding it easier to just count than remember Doc's silly song.

"Every 30 or so compressions try and give rescue breaths! Tilt their head back a little while pinching their nose to open their airway. Then you're gonna blow into their mouth a normal amount just enough so their chest rises; do that twice. If it doesn't rise make sure they don't have anything stuck in their throat. Grif is that gum I see in there?"

Caboose quickly brought his face to Wash's, blood splattered across his visor.

"Haha whoops sorry Washington!" He brought his hands back to unclasp his own helmet and set it to the side; turning back to brush away some of the bloody nose with his hand.

Caboose lingered slightly, he could feel the air around them now, he could also feel the lack of air coming from Wash's mouth. He cradled the back of Wash's neck in his hand, pinched his nose with the other and started his rescue breaths.

He fell into autopilot, repeating the steps in his mind over and over as he did them until a sharp breath came from Washington, as did a mouthful of cave pond water.

Caboose helped him sit up as Wash coughed up his missing breaths; his gaze fixated on the older man's movement.

"Caboose?" The blue's eyes bore into Wash, he seemed terrified. The feeling broke at the sound of his name however.

"Agent Washington you're okay! You should avoid drinking pond water, I don't think it's good for you." There was smeared blood on Caboose's face, Wash dipped his hand into the water and rubbed it against the stain.

"How'd you get blood on you 'Boose? Where's your helmet?" The other blue wore his helmet so often it was rare to see his face, his hair had gotten a bit longer and Wash could see wearing smile lines from his angle.

"Oh uhm! So when we got out of the water you weren't breathing so I tried to give you Cee Pee Arr but I forgot to take my helmet off! So now you have a bloody nose and you shared it with me when I gave you rescuing breaths!" He smiled, reaching beside him to grab his helm and snapped it back on, his second face returned.

Wash rubbed the back of his hand against his face, his helmet was off as well, and his own blood smeared against the glove.

"Holy shit you saved my life Caboose."

"I did?" His head tilted and he perked up again."I did! Oh my god does that mean my team kills go down? Because I saved you?"

Wash chuckled, clasping his breastplate back on and grabbing his helmet.

"Sure it does."

"Oh! You should probably cover that hole in case we have to go swimming again, Church always packed some for me..." Caboose dug around in his utility belt and procured a large patch used for underarmour sealing; he handed it to Wash and watched as the freelancer slapped it against his neck and rubbed it down.

"Geez thanks Caboose, you're really on it today." Wash said as brushed his hair back and locked his helm back in place.

Caboose wiggled from his seated position, paused, and grabbed Freckles before firing behind him.

Confetti dispersed from the rifle.

"Friendly Signature Detected."

"Caboose what the hell?! Did you really just try to shoot me?"

"Hi Tucker!"

[sendpseuds]

12 days until Christmas

"I can't believe she dated that asshole," Anakin mumbles into his glass before tossing his head back and draining the contents, so deep into the spiral that he barely winces at the caustic burn creeping down his throat, "I can't believe I fucking punched him."

Definitely not his finest moment.

Anakin's glass is filled almost as quickly as it was emptied, eager to ease several different types of pain, struggling to steady his left hand as he pours himself another heavy measure, his right rendered useless by the kitchen towel haphazardly securing a ziplock bag full of freezer-burnt ice to his throbbing knuckles.

He'd marched home from the bar in huff, hurt and angry and struggling to remember where it had all gone so wrong, spilling the details of the disastrous night to the cheerful Christmas elf sitting on his TV stand the moment he stumbled through the threshold of his apartment, desperate to vent his every thought, impulse, and emotion to a friendly face who wouldn't try to dissect his psyche, regardless of whether or not that friendly face belonged to an actual human.

Now, alone in his sad post-grad apartment, he's drunker than he had been doing shots with Ahsoka and Rex on his twenty-first birthday and he's feeling worse about punching Padme's handsy ex than he had when he got home.

"She's gonna break up with me."

He'd realized his mistake the moment he saw Padme's face.

She had looked so—

Angry.

Upset.

Scared.

"It's fine," Anakin hisses through his teeth, taking another ill-advised sip of cheap spiced liquor, his jaw tight and eyes unfocused, "Better she leave now than die, I guess."

The words are biting and bitter on his tongue and when he turns to see Obi-Wan watching him patiently, Anakin feels a horrible wave of grief and guilt wash over him like an ice bath.

"I don't think I've actually told you yet, have I?" Anakin asks nonsensically to a stuffed children's toy, his throat tightening in anticipation of what's to follow as if his body is rejecting the words before he's even spoken them.

He doesn't want to say it.

He never does.

It never gets any easier.

But Obi-Wan deserves to know.

"Mom died."

Anakin shivers.

"Three years this February."

Vision blurred with rum and remorse, Anakin imagines for a moment that Obi-Wan's cheerful smirk looks almost impossibly sad and it's hard not to believe that a creation so special might mourn his maker.

"Fuck," Anakin curses, ice and injury forgotten as he buries his face in his hands, shaking his head like he can shake every bad memory from his mind, "I left you in that box for almost three years."

At the moment, Anakin is two drinks too deep to realize he's been hiding from Her. Hiding from her memory. Hiding from her art. His mother died and he packed away all the brightest parts of her— too broken to see anything but his own pain in the things she made with her entire soul.

"I'm sorry," Anakin chokes, finding himself on the floor, crawling toward Obi-Wan on his knees and pulling the little stuffed elf to his chest, "I'm so sorry."

It feels good and bad at the same time.

Easier to cry over an imaginary elf than his actual life falling apart.

Again.

"Were you lonely without me?" he asks, his insecurity wrapping around every slurred syllable, "I've been so lonely."

It takes several moments to realize his mistake.

"Was," he corrects, "I was lonely, I— Padme is amazing, she—"

It takes another few moments to remember why his hand has a heartbeat.

"Fuck, she's gonna break up with me."

She won't.

She won't break up with him because when Anakin Skywalker drags himself out of bed at the ass crack of dawn despite his crippling hangover to bring her an I'm Sorry croissant and chai, she will let him into her apartment.

She will hear his apology.

She will melt when he smiles.

She will forgive him.

She probably shouldn't.

But she will.

[ao3]

[spaceofentropy]

Thank you, @ihni , for the baton! Without further ado, here's my contribution to the Harringrove Relay Race!

It's a little fic (that I'll post on ao3 later, when I'm awake and cosplaying as a functioning human) and that is very cleverly (not really) titled...

A Pirate's Life For Me

Billy's always known he wasn't lucky in life and this, right here, is the culmination of it all.

Not even two months at sea, working his ass off for a meager pay in the hopes of earning enough to exstinguish the debts his father and Chrissy's father put on their shoulders before dying, and his ship gets captured by pirates.

Worse: captured by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who has a reputation as a great swordman and a ruthless bastard who doesn't leave survivors.

Billy did his best in the fight, but he's just a farm boy turned deck swabber, his swordmanship goes very little further than "the handle goes into your hand, the pointy part goes inside the enemy". So now he's kneeling, hands raised, on the deck of the Panthaira, along with the rest of the surviving crew and passengers.

Well, with all the survivors except Captain Loman, who's huddled against the main mast. The Dread Pirate Roberts is crouched in front of the captain and talking to him in a low voice while the captain clearly draws his last breaths, shirt painted a vivid red with the blood gushing from the puncture wounds in his chest. Loman was a petty tyrant, so Billy is not exactly bawling his eyes out at the prospect of the captain being gone soon. It's just the principle of the thing that counts. The Panthaira has been captured, and, to put it mildly, Billy is fucked.

There are too many pirates keeping them under threat of more stabbing, and also no damn place to go even if he were able to escape the ship. They're in the middle of the ocean, nothing but water in every direction for hundred if not thousands of miles.

So Billy stays where he is.

And looks either at the back of the Dread Pirate Roberts or at the slow rising and falling of Loman's chest.

He waits and hates how his arms are getting heavier and heavier by the second. Soon, he'll be dead and, back home, Chrissy will have to mourn her best friend too, not just her parents.

Captain Loman's chest at last goes still and Roberts extends a careful, gloved hand to close the man's unseeing eyes, before turning towards his prisoners in one swift, elegant movement.

Robert's dressed all in black and wearing a mask, just like the stories say. He has long brown hair tied in a low pony tail, and dark eyes that sweep the crew and passengers of the Panthaira like he can weigh the wort of each of them with just one look.

Billy lets his hands fall down, tired of this charade. If he's gonna die anyway, what good comes from obeying? Might as well die with some feeling left in his arms.

Someone shouts at Billy to raise his hands again and he just ignores him. Roberts is walking their way, his steps slow and his attention pointedly fixed on cleaning blood off the blade of his sword.

Somewhere behind Billy, a woman starts weeping. One of the crew members pleads for his life. Another offers all the money he's got to be spared.

Bunch of cowards.

Roberts stops in front of Billy, ignores everyone else.

"You're not pleading," he says in such a voice and cold tone that the people around them fall silent, too scared of what's happening.

"I don't plead."

"Aren't you scared, boy?"

"To death."

Roberts grins. It makes the moles on his cheek dance.

"Should I bestow on you the sweet mercy of death, then, or not?"

Billy licks his lips and grins back.

"You should let me live, sir."

"And why should I make an exception?"

That's the true problem. Both Billy and Roberts know it, judging by the predatory look in his eyes.

Why, indeed.

"True love?" Billy tries.

Roberts laughs.

"She must be an exceptional lay, to make you believe someone will let you live only so that you'll be able to bed her again!"

"Wouldn't know, I've never wanted to fuck my best friend. Is there truest, purest love than the one that's never been tainted by lust or carnal needs?"

The Dread Pirate Roberts laughs even more and then shakes his head.

"Unbelievable," he says in a stage whisper. "What's your name, boy?"

"Billy."

"Well, Billy, I find myself in sudden need of a personal attendant." Roberts pauses for a beat, cocks his head to the side. Predatory is now an understatement for the look in those dark eyes. "Do a good job and one day you'll be able to return home to your best friend. Do a bad job, and your friend will never see you again. Are you interested in the position?"

Billy grits his teeth and never lets his gaze waver from Roberts.

The decision is so simple he doesn't even need to think about it. He nods and Roberts smiles.

Billy doesn't know what's in his future, but he'll do all he can to survive whatever Roberts throws his way and then return home. His best friend is waiting for him.

And with this, my installment of the race is done and it's time to head over to @liverditty in an hour for his contribution! I can't wait to see what he created for this beautiful event! In the mean time, thank you for reading, fair tumblr users, and thanks for organizing this, @harringrove-relay-race ! ❤️

[blinday]

Fuck it. Um. I'll post it on AO3 tomorrow.

If I don't remember to add something else.

You Ruined Yourself

Chapter 1.

Polite Stranger Smile #2

Ford didn’t know what he'd expected. He hadn’t spoken with his brother in a long time, hadn’t even seen him aside from his infomercials. Ford didn’t like that his face was plastered in those ridiculous things, but it did bring him comfort to see his brother's smile.

Stan's smile was something only he had, one of the few traits they didn’t share. Ford's smiles had always been a bit tight, a bit nervous, because he was never quite relaxed in his own skin; it's hard to be so when you have such a huge sense of alienation. Stan's smiles were bright enough to light up a room. It could be a wide toothy grin with a playful tint to it, or a small subtle smirk of someone you know is proud of you. Ford had loved Stan's smiles, and used to have a mental list of their differences and meanings.

The one Stan was using at that moment was the Polite Stranger Smile #2, mostly used during festivities when they met relatives they were supposed to know but didn’t quite recall who they were. It was a funny smile all things considered, specially because it was usually followed by his favorite, the I Don't Know What I'm Saying, which Stan always directed at Ford as they greeted the unremembered relatives. But right now Stan wasn’t looking at someone else with the Polite Stranger Smile. It was at Ford.

Ford, who had a crossbow pointed at his twin and could not afford to get lost in memories, even though those thoughts pulled at his heart in a way that made it hard to breathe. He had to focus, focus.

"Were you followed?" He inquired, looking over his brother's shoulder but never leaving the crossbow unaimed. Stan narrowed his eyes and cocked his head, his smile straining. It was now more akin to a grimace.

"No. And I know because that's totally a concern normal people who aren't doing anything wrong have." He said, and Ford couldn’t tell if Stan was being sarcastic or not. He couldn't do it without much concentration in good days, so trying now would be futile at best. He decided to not press the matter further, and tried to pull Stan in to check his eyes.

Only, Stan stayed firmly planted in his place, looking at him with that same grimmace, slightly furrowed brows and narrowed eyes. He was suspicious. Scared? It was hard to read him, now. Ford would not think about this now.

"I'm sorry bro, I am sure you don't have any terrible or vengeful intentions, but I'm not getting in while you have that crossbow in hands." He said breathily, like he was trying to say something serious with a humorous delivery. Ford frowned and slowly put down the crossbow.

Stan followed Ford's pull, and Ford checked his eyes. Stan stared at him, not even pretending he wasn’t weirded out by the situation at this point. Stan sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Good to see you don't think I'm a junkie." He said with what Ford knew to be sarcasm, so he had to stop for a second. Upon further thought, yeah, he could see why Stan would think he'd thought that.

"No, no, I just had to... You could've been..." Ford looked away, trailling off. "It's complicated."

Stan seemed fine. He could handle this task, right? But what if he couldn’t understand? What if it was too much? But if he didn't explain, what if Bill got to him? He had to explain everything. Yes, yes. He could do this. Stan could do this.

"Uh, you gonna explain what's going on, here? You're acting like Mom after her tenth cup of coffee." Stan said, interrupting Ford's musings. Ford looked at him and took a deep breath.

"Listen, there isn't much time. I've made huge mistakes and I don't know who I can trust anymore." From the corner of his eye he saw his research skeleton (for anatomycal comparisons with gnomes) flash a bright yellow eye at him, and quickly turned it away. They weren't safe. What if Stan didn’t understand? What if they really were just strangers sharing a face after all these years? Ford started pacing, muttering to himself.

"Hey, uh, easy there." Stan had both his hands extended like he was trying to calm down a wild animal. Which, fair enough, Ford could concede he might look a little... rough. "Let's talk this through, okay?"

"I have something to show you. Something you won't believe." Ford said, rubbing his hands. Everything felt scratchy, like his consciousness was just barely there. Stan smiled, and this time it was his reassuring one. Ford liked this one. Their childhood was filled with this smile, reflecting how their own mom smiled at them.

"Look, I've been around the world, okay? Whatever it is, I'll understand." Stan said. Ford hoped he was right, but knew he couldn’t be.

Ford led his brother towards his secret lab, and only as they stood in the elevator, did he stop to notice Stanley himself. Ford was hungy and exhausted and on the lookout for a demon who threatened to gouge his eyes from its sockets. He couldn't afford to pay attention to these details at every waking moment, but it didn’t mean he didn’t care. He just had a lot in his mind.

Stan had a tidy jacked that looked well worn, but cared for. His hair was wrapped in a ponytail, and he had a bit of beard on his chin. He looked nice. Didn’t have huge bags under his eyes like Ford, and didn’t look too thin. He wasn’t as big as when they were teenagers, but strongly built. Ford was glad. He'd always had a tiny voice at the back of his head worrying if Stanley would be able to make it alone in the big world, specially when they were teens. But by the looks of it he'd been fine.

It almost made him mad. Stanley was here, a fully functional adult with his 5 normal fingers and no demons to haunt him, after costing Ford everything. No, no, not now. He couldn't let himself go that way. He had to finish this. He turned on the lights as they walked into the lab, revealing his beloathed portal.

Stan gaped. Ford expected something like 'there is nothing about this that I understand', maybe a joke about it being a doomsday portal, or just a questioning look. He hadn’t expected Stan to look at him like he fully understood what he'd done, the magnitude of the situation, how much danger they and the whole wolrd could be in, like he got it.

"Ford," Stan said in a raspy, breathy voice lacking any of his usual humour. "What the fuck did you do?"