#was Sam Neil made me so excited | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bajabule27 · 4 months ago

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Market Girl

This is my very first fic so thank you for reading! 🫶🏻💐

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Fluff

It was a bright and bustling Saturday morning at the farmers' market. The air was filled with the aroma of fresh produce and baked goods, mingling with the lively chatter of vendors and shoppers. I found myself drawn to a booth displaying an array of handmade jewelry. As I admired a delicate necklace adorned with a small, shimmering gemstone, I heard a voice behind me.

“That necklace would look amazing on you,” the voice said.

I turned around, surprised to see a tall, attractive guy with long brown hair and warm brown eyes standing there, a playful smile on his face. For a moment, I was taken aback by his presence, but his warm, easygoing demeanor quickly put me at ease.

“Thank you,” I replied, smiling back. “I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m Sam,” he said, extending his hand. His grip was firm but gentle, his eyes twinkling with genuine interest.

Looking back down at the necklace, Sam nodded towards it. "Are you going to buy that?" he asked curiously.

I nodded, "I think so. I have an outfit that would go perfectly with it."

After I made the purchase, Sam offered with a charming grin, "Would you like some help putting it on?"

I laughed softly, touched by his gesture. "Sure, that would be great."

As Sam delicately fastened the necklace around my neck, his fingers brushed against my neck, sending a subtle jolt of electricity through me. It was a simple moment, but it felt surprisingly intimate.

After turning around, Sam spoke up, breaking the silence. “Would you like to keep me company while I walk through the market?”

“Sure, I’d love to,” I said, feeling a thrill of excitement at the prospect of spending time with him.

We strolled from booth to booth, chatting and laughing as if we’d known each other for years. Sam’s enthusiasm for the simple pleasures of the market was infectious. He seemed genuinely interested in everything, from the handmade soaps to the fresh berries, and his easygoing nature made him incredibly easy to talk to.

At one point, we stopped at a flower stand, where a vibrant array of blooms created a riot of color. Sam picked out a small bouquet of wildflowers and handed them to me with a shy smile. “For you,” he said softly.

“Thank you, Sam,” I said, touched by the sweet gesture. The flowers were beautiful, their colors bright and cheerful.

Later, we stopped at a coffee stand. Sam turned to me with a smile. “How about a coffee?”

“Sounds great,” I agreed.

As I reached for my wallet to pay for mine, Sam quickly handed over the money to pay for the both of us. “This one’s on me,” he said with a wink.

“Thank you,” I said, touched by the gesture. We found a small table and sat down with our coffees, the conversation flowing effortlessly. He told me about how he was in a band with his brothers and their best friend, who explained was practically a brother too. He explained that they were finally gaining some popularity and have been playing at different bars around town. I nodded, genuinely intrigued.

“That sounds incredible,” I admitted, taking a sip of my coffee before adding, “I'm also passionate about music, but my day job is as a barista.” I felt a pang of embarrassment, fearing my life seemed mundane compared to his exciting musical journey.

He leaned forward, his expression earnest. “Are you kidding? Being a barista sounds amazing,” he said sincerely, his eyes lighting up. “You get to be around coffee all day, which is practically magic in a cup. Plus, I bet you meet all sorts of interesting people.” His warmth reassured me, and I found myself smiling back at him, feeling understood and appreciated.

An hour flew by in what felt like minutes. Realizing I needed to get home, I stood up reluctantly. “I should probably get going,” I said.

“Can I get your number?” Sam asked, looking hopeful. “I’d love to see you again.”

“Of course,” I replied, handing him my phone. He entered his number and sent a quick text to mine so I’d have his.

When I got home, my phone buzzed with a new message.

Sam: I really enjoyed spending the afternoon with you. Would love to do it again sometime.

I smiled, typing back a response.

Y/N: I’d love that too. Thank you for keeping me company today :)

Days passed without hearing from Sam, and I began to wonder if he had lost interest. The following weekend, unable to shake the feeling, I sent him another message.

Y/N: Been thinking about our afternoon at the market. Any chance you’re free to see each other again?

His response was immediate.

Sam: I was hoping to hear from you! Actually, I wanted to invite you to a show tonight. The guys and I are playing at Rhythm & Roots. Are you interested?

My heart raced with excitement as I typed back.

Y/N: I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

That evening, I took my time getting ready, savoring each moment as I prepared for what I hoped would be an unforgettable night. I chose a band t-shirt; its faded logo a nod to my love for live music. Layering it with a well-worn leather jacket and a pair of black jeans, I felt a sense of comfort and confidence in my attire.

When I arrived at the bar, the band was just going on stage. The dim lighting and the buzz of the crowd added to the atmosphere as I found a spot near the stage. My eyes were immediately drawn to Sam, who looked effortlessly cool with his bass slung low. His passion for the music was evident in every note he played, and I couldn't help but admire how he seemed to lose himself in the rhythm.

Throughout the show, Sam kept stealing glances in my direction, and each time our eyes met, a subtle smile would play on his lips. I found myself captivated, unable to tear my eyes away from him. The electricity between us was palpable, heightened by the music that filled the air and the shared anticipation of what the night might bring.

As the last song faded into applause, Sam made his way towards me through the crowd. His eyes held a hint of excitement and warmth as he approached, and I felt a rush of anticipation. Without hesitation, he enveloped me in a big hug.

"Hey," he said warmly, pulling back slightly to look at me. "I'm so glad you could make it. Did you enjoy the show?"

I nodded, feeling a rush of excitement and relief that he seemed just as happy to see me as I was to see him. "Yeah, you guys were amazing up there. You have such a stage presence."

"Thanks," he replied modestly, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he grinned. "It means a lot coming from you."

We stood there for a moment, the sounds of the bar swirling around us as people congratulated the band and moved around us. There was an undeniable chemistry between us, a connection that seemed to deepen with every shared glance and exchanged word.

"I was hoping we could grab a drink and talk some more," Sam said, his tone hopeful yet casual.

"I'd love that," I replied, matching his smile. "Lead the way."

As Sam guided me towards a quieter corner of the bar, his brothers made their way over to where we were sitting. Sam introduced me to each of them with pride evident in his voice.

"Hey, this is Josh," Sam began, gesturing towards the curly-haired guy with a big smile. "He's my older brother and Jake's twin."

I stood up and he enveloped me in a warm hug before I could extend my hand. "Nice to meet you! So, you're the market girl Sam won't stop talking about," he said teasingly, making me blush.

Next was Jake, Sam's other older brother, who had a striking resemblance to Sam with his long brown hair. He gave me a friendly handshake, his eyes curious as he studied me. "Sam's mentioned you," he remarked, his voice slightly softer, hinting at a reserved yet genuine interest.

Last was Danny, introduced as Sam's best friend and "bonus brother." Towering over the others with his tall frame and long curly hair, Danny greeted me with a bear hug. "Sam's told me a lot about you," he said warmly.

After the introductions, we settled into a cozy booth with drinks in hand. Josh, with his theatrical personality, regaled us with animated stories that had us all laughing.

"You won't believe what happened at our last gig," Josh exclaimed, his gestures adding to the drama of his tale. "Jake was on fire, doing his thing, playing guitar behind his head like a rockstar. The crowd was eating it up!"

Jake grinned, a hint of pride evident in his expression. "Yeah, it's my signature move," he admitted with a shrug.

"Until this one time," Danny interjected with a chuckle, "when his guitar strap got tangled up in his hair!"

The table erupted into laughter, imagining the scene.

"It was like a rock 'n roll version of a hair-pull wrestling match," Josh teased, earning another round of laughter.

"I couldn't believe it," Jake admitted, his cheeks flushing slightly. "I had to pause for a moment to untangle myself. But you know what? I finished the solo without missing a beat."

We all chuckled, shaking our heads in disbelief at the antics he described. As the evening wore on and Jake relaxed with each sip of his drink, he began to open up and I decided to start up a conversation with him.

"I noticed your guitar," I said, nodding towards his prized 1961 Gibson Les Paul. "It's a beauty."

Jake's eyes lit up with a mix of pride and enthusiasm. "Thanks," he replied, a hint of modesty in his voice. "I've been playing for years. Do you play?"

"Yeah, a bit," I admitted with a smile. "Not as well as you, though."

He chuckled softly, a genuine warmth in his expression. "It's all about practice and passion," he said, his gaze thoughtful.

Danny chimed in with a grin. "You play too? We should jam sometime," he suggested.

I glanced over at Sam and couldn't help but smile. Our eyes met, and I saw the warmth and happiness mirrored in his gaze, knowing that he understood how much I was enjoying getting to know his family.

"Hey, are you guys up for another round?" Sam asked, breaking the moment with a playful grin.

"Absolutely," Josh replied eagerly, already signaling the bartender.

As the night continued, we laughed, shared more stories, and enjoyed each other's company. It felt like I had known them for much longer than just this evening.

After a while, Sam stood up. “I need a smoke break. Want to join me outside?”

“Sure,” I said, following him out.

Once outside, he lit his cigarette and took a deep drag. “Thank you for coming and meeting my brothers. It means so much to me.”

“Of course,” I replied warmly.

“So, what are you doing after this?” he asked, his voice laced with a hint of playfulness.

I chuckled softly. “Probably just going to go home and watch a movie.”

He grinned, a familiar sparkle in his eyes. "Need any company?" he asked, his tone teasing yet genuine, recalling our first encounter at the farmers' market.

I couldn’t help but laugh, charmed by his cheekiness. “I would love the company, I've got an unopened bottle of wine at home that's been calling my name.”

With that, we made our way back inside to tell the group we had to go. “I hate to break up the party, but I should probably get going,” I announced reluctantly.

There was a collective sigh of disappointment mixed with understanding from the group. "Already?" Josh exclaimed, a playful pout on his face. "We were just getting started!"

"I know I hate to leave" I replied with a smile, touched by their warmth and hospitality. “But thank you for an amazing show, it was so good to meet you all.”

Sam immediately chimed in, looking at me with a smirk. “I’ll be heading out too.”

He turned to the group, still smirking. “We’ve got some very important things to do.”

This prompted a few eye rolls and playful groans from his brothers.

We exchanged heartfelt goodbyes, and all of the boys gave me a warm hug as we promised to meet up again soon. Sam stood up with me, his hand resting gently on my back as we walked towards the door. Sam confirmed the plans for the evening and followed me to my apartment complex. We parked side by side, and as we walked to my front door, I couldn't ignore the flutter of anticipation in my chest.

Inside, we shed our coats and shoes, the atmosphere becoming more relaxed and intimate. "Make yourself comfortable on the couch," I said, gesturing towards the living room. "I'll just be a moment while I change."

I slipped into a comfier shirt and leggings, feeling comfortable yet excited. When I returned, Sam was examining my record collection. He held up a Neil Young album with a smile. "Great taste," he remarked, setting it down as I approached.

"Thanks," I replied, feeling a rush of nerves and excitement as we moved to the couch together. Sam settled against the armrest, facing me.

As Sam looked into my eyes, he smiled warmly. "You have a really beautiful smile, you know that?" he said, his voice soft and sincere.

I felt my cheeks flush at the compliment. "Thank you," I murmured, feeling a bit flustered. Needing something to calm my nerves, I asked, "Would you like a glass of wine?"

"I'd love one," he replied graciously.

I walked over to the kitchen, poured two glasses of wine, and returned to the couch. Sam had shifted over, leaving a spot for me right next to him. As I handed him his glass, our fingers brushed, sending a small jolt of electricity through me. We both smiled at the contact.

Settling down beside him, I picked up the remote. "What movie do you want to watch?" I asked.

"I'll let you pick," he said, leaning back comfortably.

Scanning through my continue-watching list, I clicked on "The Proposal." Sam chuckled, a playful glint in his eyes. "I secretly love a good chick flick," he confessed.

I giggled, feeling the last of my nervousness fade away. "Good to know," I said, smiling at him.

Sensing my hesitation, Sam opened his arms invitingly. "Come here," he said gently.

I grabbed a blanket and snuggled close to him, feeling his warmth surround me. As the movie started, I couldn't help but giggle to myself, thinking about how this all began with a chance encounter at the market.

Sam's arm wrapped around my shoulders, and I nestled into him, enjoying the comfort and closeness. The warmth of his embrace and the relaxed atmosphere made me reflect on how different this night was from what I would normally do. Usually, I wouldn't have given a random stranger the time of day, but there was something about Sam at the farmers' market that made me want to get to know him. I giggled to myself, thinking about how that afternoon walking around the market with Sam had led me to where I was now, curled up on the couch, watching a movie together.

"What's got you giggling over there?" Sam asked, a playful grin on his face.

I looked up at him, smiling. "I was just thinking about how we first met last week at the farmers' market," I confessed. "And now look at us."

Sam raised an eyebrow, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "You mean, sitting on your couch, watching a movie?"

"Yeah," I laughed softly. "I promise this isn't something I usually do."

Sam chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So you don't always let handsome musicians buy you coffee and flowers?" he teased, giving me a playful nudge.

I couldn't help but laugh, playfully hitting his shoulder. "Not always," I replied with mock seriousness, enjoying the easy banter between us. "You're a rare exception."

As the movie progressed, I felt a growing sense of contentment. Sam's presence was comforting and familiar, even though we had only just met. Every now and then, he would make a comment about a funny scene, and we'd both laugh.

At one point, I glanced up at him and found him already looking at me. Our eyes met, and for a moment, everything else faded away. There was something incredibly genuine and sincere in his gaze.

Sam reached down, his fingers lightly brushing my cheek. He looked into my eyes, then down to my lips. I swallowed hard, feeling a rush of anticipation. Sitting up a little and turning towards him, I pressed my face more into his palm, savoring the warmth and tenderness of his touch.

The tension between us grew, an electric current that seemed to pull us closer together. After a few seconds that felt like an eternity, Sam finally leaned in and pressed his lips to mine.

The kiss was gentle at first, testing the waters. His lips were soft and warm, tasting faintly of the wine we had been drinking. As the kiss deepened, it became more urgent, filled with a longing that had been building since our first encounter at the market.

Sam's hand moved to the back of my neck, pulling me closer as our kiss intensified. My own hands found their way to the nape of his neck, gently pulling on his long hair. The world around us seemed to disappear, leaving only the sensation of his lips on mine, the taste of him, and the feeling of his heart beating in time with my own.

When we finally pulled away, we were both breathless, our foreheads resting against each other. Sam's eyes were dark and intense, a mixture of desire and something deeper that made my stomach flip.

"Wow," I whispered, unable to find any other words.

"Yeah," he replied softly, his thumb brushing against my cheek. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he murmured, his voice husky.

I smiled, my heart pounding in my chest. "I think I might have an idea," I replied, leaning in to kiss him again.

This time, the kiss was slower. His hands moved to cradle my face, his thumbs brushing lightly over my cheeks as our lips moved together in perfect harmony.

Eventually, we pulled back, resting our foreheads against each other as we caught our breath. "I should probably refill our wine," I said with a soft laugh, my voice tinged with excitement and anticipation.

Sam nodded, his eyes still locked on mine. "I'll be right here," he promised, his voice warm and reassuring.

Reluctantly, I untangled myself from his embrace and stood up, heading to the kitchen to grab the bottle of wine and two glasses. My mind was racing with thoughts of what had just happened and what might happen next.

When I returned, Sam had made himself comfortable on the couch, his smile widening as he saw me approach. I handed him a glass, our fingers brushing once more, sending a familiar jolt of electricity through me.

We settled back into the couch, our bodies close. As we sipped our wine and watched the movie, Sam was sitting with his legs extended, and I rested my head on his lap. He gently played with my hair, his touch sending a wave of comfort through me.

As I looked up at him, our eyes met, and a soft smile formed on his lips. I couldn't help but feel grateful for the unexpected turn of events that had brought us to this cozy moment together.

"Thanks for inviting me over," Sam said softly, breaking the comfortable silence.

I lifted my head slightly, meeting his gaze with warmth in my own. "Thank you for being here," I replied sincerely.

Sam raised his glass saying, "Here's to spontaneous farmers' market encounters leading to cozy movie nights."

I mirrored his gesture, raising my glass in a silent toast. The clink of our glasses resonated softly in the room, a simple acknowledgment of the moment we were sharing.

As we settled back into our quiet companionship, the movie playing softly in the background, wrapped up in Sam's gentle touch and the warmth of his presence, I felt a sense of contentment and excitement for what the future might hold for us.

#sam kiszka #danny wagner #josh kiszka #jake kiszka #greta van fleet #gvf fic #greta van fic #greta van fluff #fluff #Spotify

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buckysgrace · 1 year ago

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Twenty Six

Kim

“Dad,” Kim looked up at the roof unsure as Sam continued to strand up orange lights on the roof of the house, “Are you sure that’s safe?” She didn’t want to freak him out, but the way Sam was swaying back and forth across the room made her nervous.

“Perfectly!” He yelled back towards her, “It’s not that far up, is it?” He asked a second later as he peered down towards her. She paused, not wanting to worry him. It was fairly high up, but she assumed that he already knew that.

“No,” Kim said slowly as she shook her head, not wanting to frighten Sam, “It’s not that high at all.” She replied as she held a hand over her head, trying to keep the sun from beating down into her eyes.

“How’s it look?” Sam asked as he began to make his way back towards the ladder. She felt a little nervous as she held her fingers together, worried that he would topple off of the roof. “Pretty,” Kim confirmed, glancing around at where the front of the yard was a mess of decorations. Rosemary had taken Russell and Max to the store to find more decorations, “It’ll be cool.” She said at last, actually excited to put things up. When they were little they used to draw decorations for the inside of their apartment, but they never had the yard to put anything major up. Neil never liked things to mess up the way the grass grew in his yard.

“Are you going to carve your pumpkins?” Sam asked, glancing down towards her before he began to blindly search for the ladder. Kim moved it quickly, fearing that he may fall off the side of the house.

“I was just waiting for Billy to wake up,” She told Sam truthfully, holding onto the ladder as he made his way down, “I don’t think he slept very well last night.” She admitted truthfully, thinking that Billy’s behavior was a little erratic last night. His emotions switched like a flashlight, going from being happy to repressed. She still wondered if he was sick.

“He’s a little moody,” Sam nodded his head, then spoke quickly as he observed the way her features tightened up, “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I’m sure he’s going to adjust. There’s a lot going on.” He defended himself quickly. Kim felt herself relaxing, believing Sam’s words. She thought them to be true as well. Billy was going through a lot at the moment.

“There is,” Kim nodded her head softly, “Have you told her?” She whispered softly as she tugged her hair behind her ears. Sam tilted his head as he looked down at her, but she found herself looking away again.

“That’s between you two and Rosemary,” Sam said softly as he looked down at Kim, “Although, I don’t like holding this back from my wife.” He admitted, sounding a little guilty as he spoke. Kim bit her bottom lip, feeling bad for that same reason. Rosemary seemed so nice, but Kim didn’t know how she’d handle the news either.

“She makes you happy?” Kim asked him, glancing up at him again. His features were relaxed in a soft demeanor as he tilted his head while peering down at her. She wondered if he thought the question was as silly as what she did. It was fairly obvious how Sam felt about Rosemary.

“Very,” Sam told her softly, “You all make me happy. I’m hoping I can make things better.” He added to his statement, smiling softly as he pushed a strand of her red hair from her face. She inhaled softly, grinning as she nodded her head.

“You’re doing a good job,” Kim admitted softly as she tucked her hair behind her ears this time, “I’m gonna go check on Billy.” She told him quickly, feeling like she really should check in on Billy again. She also felt like she needed distance between her and Sam suddenly.

“Alright,” Sam said softly, “I hope you’re enjoying it here.” He said as he took a step back. She watched as he walked back towards the end of the cord and began to attach it to the plug in. Kim paused for another second before she made her way back inside of the house.

She enjoyed the last few seconds of her feet against the warm grass before she stepped onto the cool cement, then into the smooth wooden floors. She felt a smile forming on her lips as she heard soft snores coming from the living room, signaling that Billy was lying on his back. She walked towards him, settling on her knees as she gently began to pull the quilt off of his chest.

“Hey, hello,” Kim nudged Billy’s shoulders softly, earning a groan from him, “Good morning sleepyhead.” She drew the words out sweetly, watching as he wrinkled his nose and began to rub at his eyes. She gently tucked the blonde curls off of his forehead.

“Fuck,” Billy grunted in annoyance as he slowly dropped his hands to his sides, “What time is it?” He looked up at her confused, his eyes glazed over as he observed her. She grinned at him, but felt a little uneasy. It wasn’t normal for him to sleep in so late.

“Almost 12:30,” Kim said as she glanced towards the grandfather clock, “They had the decency to leave the fort up for you.” She told him, leaving out how Max had thought about trying out a new wrestling move on him this morning. Kim was sure that it would’ve ended badly.

“Yay,” Billy replied dryly as he stretched his arms out over his head, “Fuck, I’m tired.” His voice was raspy as he spoke and Kim lightly drew her fingernails down his exposed skin as his shirt pulled up. She stared at how golden his blonde hairs looked.

“I’m pretty certain you were falling asleep when I was waking up,” She told him honestly, “Do you feel okay?” She asked as she lightly raked her fingers through his hair again. She leaned down to kiss his temple, still worried that he may have gotten sick.

“Mhm,” He grinned up towards her, wiggling a bit so he could rest his head on her lap, “Much better.” He said softly as he closed his eyes for a moment. She smiled, letting him rest as she began to trace her fingertips down the curve of his jaw. She paused a second later, realizing that he’d begun to fall asleep again.

“Go get ready,” She told him softly as she patted his face gently to wake him up, “We need to carve our pumpkins.” She grinned as she pressed her lips against the tip of his nose. He sighed deeply, his eyelashes fluttering as he looked back up towards her.

“What?” He looked up at her confused, his eyebrows knitting together as he watched her. She smiled, enjoying the way his stubble felt against her fingertips. She peppered a kiss against the corners of his mouth.

“You heard me,” She grinned as she lightly pressed him forward, groaning, “Come on. It’ll be a lot of fun.” She told him quickly, hoping to convince him. Billy groaned for a second before he turned his gaze up towards her again.

“Do you have to?” He asked seriously, looking like he wanted to do anything but that. She leaned back for a second, dropping his head in her lap as she pretended to think about it.

“Hm,” She breathed out as she tapped her finger against the corner of her mouth, “I guess I could ask Tommy. Or my other friends.” She suggested with a shrug of her shoulders. Kim hadn’t fully told him much about who she’d been hanging out with, fearing that Billy would get jealous of Calum.

“Fuck that,” He grinned as she slowly rolled off of her, groaning as he used the couch to help pull himself up, “Just give me a few minutes.” He grunted out as he stumbled his way towards the bathroom. Kim grinned as she sat herself on the floor, crossing her legs as she breathed in deeply.

She still felt something was off about him, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. He hadn’t acted like he normally did when he was drunk, but she didn’t want to think that he’d fallen into former habits so soon. She chewed on her bottom lip, hoping that he would be honest with her as she began to fold the quilts up.

Once she was finished with that she gathered up a few knives, then a couple of spoons to assist them in carving into the pumpkins. Billy finally made his way downstairs, looking clean shaven and fresh as he made his way into the kitchen.

“Hi,” He grinned as he stepped behind Kim, his muscular arms squeezing her waist softly, “Mhm, you smell nice.” He mumbled as he buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling deeply. She giggled at the sensation, feeling a jolt traveling down from her neck to her legs.

“I do?” She questioned him, turning to smile at him. He nodded his head, as he trailed his lips up the curve of her neck. He squeezed her jaw softly, tilting her head towards him as he pressed his lips against her cheek repeatedly. She felt a shrill giggle forming in her chest from his actions.

“Always,” He responded with a smile as he pressed his lips against hers. She hummed against his mouth, grinning as she slowly dragged her lips against his. He sighed against her, his hand moving up to palm at her boobs, “Mhm, how about we move this upstairs?” He questioned with a smirk as he squeezed her breasts in his hands.

“Hm,” She grinned as she pressed her hands against his chest, “Pumpkins first. Maybe you’ll get something special after.” She told him excitedly. He groaned as he leaned back against the counter, a look of defeat crossing his features. She bounced forward, giving him a gentle kiss.

It took a lot of convincing, but Kim finally got Billy dragged outside. He audibly sighed and groaned as she cut the top of her pumpkin off, then repeated the sounds as she did the same to him. She nudged him with her foot, knowing that he was being dramatic on purpose.

“This is disgusting,” Billy grumbled as they continued to scoop the guts out from the pumpkins, “Why are we doing this?” He asked seriously as he turned to look at her. She shivered as the breeze hit her. She scooped out another handful with her bare hands.

“It’s fun,” Kim told him quickly, actually enjoying the feeling of the gooiness against her hands, “Rosemary said to keep the seeds so she can bake them.” She replied, watching as he shook some off of his hands as a look of disgust crossed his features.

“Gross,” Billy groaned as he dropped a handful into the bag again, “I hate this.” The music blared behind them and Kim looked forward, watching as Sam struggled to get a skeleton placed up in the yard.

“I can do it,” She offered quickly, “I just need your help carving the faces out.” She told him, unsure if she’d be able to get the pumpkin thin enough on her own. He glanced towards her, one of his eyebrows raised as he spoke again.

“Did you decide what we’re going as?” He asked, tilting his head as he scooped more of the orange guts out. Kim stifled a laugh, watching as he struggled to get them off of his hand and into the bag.

“I had a few ideas,” She said softly, “What about little red riding hood and you can be the big bad wolf?” She giggled softly as Billy turned towards her amused. She thought it would be fun and he really wouldn’t have to put much effort into his costume. She figured that he’d end up shirtless anyway.

“I’m not wearing anything weird.” He told her quickly, his dark eyebrows raised as he pondered over what she had just said. She smiled brightly, hoping to convince him.

“Just some wolf ears,” She said softly, “Please.” She pouted her lips out as Billy shook his head, like it was a bad idea. She thought that it was the least he could do, otherwise no one would know what they were dressing as.

“Is that your first choice?” He asked, sounding less than convinced. Kim laughed as she began to think about the other options she’d been debating about. She had pondered about being an angel, but figured that Billy would have too much fun with that.

“I guess we could do Daphne and Fred,” Kim paused for a moment, “Or as raggedy Anne but I don’t know what you’d dress as.” She said thoughtfully after a brief moment. She was sure she’d find something cute for him to dress as, but she didn’t know if he’d agree to it.

“A wolf sounds better,” Billy said a second later, “If I have to dress up.” He added with a soft smile. She grinned as she pressed her foot against his leg, giving him a soft shove. She was convinced that she was going to give him a good time.

“Mhm, you have to,” She grinned towards him, “When’s the party?” She asked, trying to recall if Halloween would be on a school night or not. She figured that if it was, she wouldn’t be able to go.

“On Halloween,” He mumbled as he pressed his lips against hers, “Do you want to meet them before?” He asked her softly. Kim knitted her eyebrows together in confusion, unsure of what he meant.

“Them?” She asked him softly, starting to feel a little nervous. She hadn’t even begun to think about how big the crowd would be. She felt a little anxious suddenly, worried that they may not like them.

“Tommy’s friends,” Billy explained softly, “They’re pretty cool.” He shrugged his shoulders as he gripped one of the knives and began to carve the pumpkin. Kim gripped her knife, hoping that the pumpkin would be thin enough for her to cut into it. She practiced for a second before she began to carve the sides down again.

“Oh,” She paused for a moment, stopping so she wouldn’t touch her hair, “I guess.” She said, nodding her head to reassure him that she was alright. He observed her for a moment, his features relaxing softly.

“You don’t have to,” He added softly, “I just want you to be comfortable.” He told her, giving her a soft smile of reassurance. Kim gulped quickly, nodding her head as she started to work on her pumpkin again. She tried to reassure herself that it would be fine, that she wouldn’t do anything to embarrass herself.

“Have you heard back from anywhere yet?” She asked him, changing the topic slowly. Billy sighed as she shook his head, looking irritated once again. She watched him curiously as he pressed his knife into his pumpkin roughly again.

“No,” He grumbled softly, “Tommy said that he’d pay me if I help Gina and Steve unpack.” He spoke in dismay, looking like it was the last thing he wanted to do. She felt her lips curling into a smile, thinking that he’d find some way to mess with Steve anyhow.

“Oh, that doesn’t sound too bad,” Kim said softly as she watched him, “Do you want help?” She asked him curiously as she worked, thinking that it would be nice to see some familiar faces. Then again, she remembered that they knew about them. She gulped hard, wondering if she wanted to see any familiar faces at all.

“I’m sure you can come over,” Billy chuckled a second later, “Although, I think we scared Steve.” He added a second later as a smirk grew on his face. Kim squirmed in her seat, reminded that the people in Hawkins were probably still discussing their relationship. She wondered what her mom thought about the subject.

“I wonder whose fault that was.” She teased him softly as she shivered under another gust of wind. She bit her lip, wondering if it would eventually be too cold for any of them to go swimming. She paused, wondering if she should convince Billy to go before it was too late.

“Yours actually,” Billy’s lips formed into a grin as Kim felt her face beginning to burn, “Who cares what they think?” He asked with a small laugh as her face continued to grow red. She was suddenly no longer cold as her flush took over her skin.

“It’s whatever,” She told him briskly as a smile formed on her lips, “What do you think?” KIm asked as she turned her pumpkin towards him. He looked at it for a moment as amusement spread over his features and twinkled deep in his eyes.

“You made a cat?” He asked her, tilting his head like he was surprised with her choice. She looked at her pumpkin again, thinking that cats were spooky in a sense. She thought it could be a black cat, even though it didn’t look very scary.

“Cats are cute,” She defended herself quickly, “I like dogs too.” She reassured quickly, knowing that it could be a debatable topic. Honestly, she liked most animals. Unless they were creepy and crawly, then she grew a little squeamish.

“What kind of cats?” He asked as he glanced away from her and continued to dig his knife into the pumpkin. She watched his intense actions for a moment as she thought, a little surprised by his question.

“Uh,” Kim furrowed her eyebrows together, “I don’t know. I always liked the fluffy white ones. Or the ones with squished noses.” She said at last, thinking that those were the cutest. In all honesty, they were all cute. She’d always wanted a cat or a dog, but that had never been allowed. She wondered if Billy would get one with her once they moved out.

“Here’s mine,” Billy presented his pumpkin a second later, “It’s fucked up.” He grinned as he waited for her reaction. She felt her eyebrows knitting together as she stared at the overly large mouth, then at the two eyes that were pressed too close to one another. She thought that the one on the left was a little larger as well.

“It’s cute,” Kim protested as a lazy, amused smile formed on her lips. Billy snorted as he shook his head, “No really. I love it.” She told him earnestly as she sat her pumpkin down, excited to go find some candles to place inside.

“I need to wash my hands,” He mumbled as he sat his pumpkin near hers, “They feel weird.” He said as he pressed his fingertips together, as if to make a point. Kim nodded her head as she gripped the paper bag that held their pumpkin seeds. Billy stood first, gripping the knives and spoons as they drifted into the house.

Kim followed behind him, still wondering when he’d be comfortable enough to tell Rosemary. She hadn’t admitted it, but she hated keeping their relationship as a secret again. It made her feel dirty, like they were doing something wrong.

“You okay?” Billy glanced towards her curiously, his eyebrows raised high as he scrubbed his hands clean. She paused before she joined him, enjoying how warm the water felt against her skin.

“I’m with you,” She answered him breezily, “Of course I’m okay.” She replied as she pulled a smile onto her lips.

////////////////////

“Any advice on how to get rid of razor bumps?” Danielle grumbled once after school as Kim was shuffling her bags into her backpack. She kept glancing down the hall, waiting for Max to make her appearance.

“I wish,” Audrey replied as she leaned against the locker, “They’re annoying.” She sighed wistfully as she spoke. Kim fumbled with her zipper for a second, feeling a little excluded as she had no idea what they were speaking of. She felt like that happened a lot with them. It reminded her of her older friend group, only that the ones in this group seemed to actually care for her. At least, that’s what she thought.

“Kim,” Danielle turned towards her, “What do you do?” Her blue eyes were wide as she watched Kim, looking a little too determined to find an answer. Kim paused as she placed her backpack straps over both of her shoulders, swaying a little bit from how heavy it was.

“Um,” Kim looked at her confused as she shut her locker, “Nothing? I mean, I haven’t had any.” She admitted. Other than cutting herself occasionally on her legs, she couldn’t remember getting any bumps from the razor.

“You don’t shave?” Danielle knitted her eyebrows together, looking at Kim like she’d just said something preposterous. Kim began to feel a little humiliated as both girls turned to stare at her as if she’d grown another head.

“I shave my legs and my arm pits,” Kim protested in embarrassment, “What else am I supposed to shave?” She asked seriously. She glanced down at her pale arms, thinking that the hair there didn’t really matter because it was so light. It easily blended in with her skin and she couldn’t think of why she’d need to shave it.

“Wait,” Aubrey laughed as she turned towards Danielle, “You mean, you have like a full bush?” She covered her mouth with her hand, hiding away her laughter as Kim grew more and more confused at what she was talking about.

“A what?” She seeked clarity, feeling a little lost on the subject that the two were discussing. She felt naive suddenly, like she really had missed something important.

“Downstairs,” Danielle giggled, looking like it was obvious, “At least trim it up a bit. It’s classier that way.” She added with a nod of her head, like it was common knowledge. Kim felt her face heating up again, unsure of how she was supposed to respond to either of them. She hadn’t even heard of shaving there before.

“I don’t have a lot of hair down there,” Kim defended herself, feeling her face beginning to burn brightly, “No one’s ever complained before.” She said quickly, embarrassed as she suddenly thought about Billy. He hadn’t ever once acted like he didn’t like it.

“I mean, your boyfriend wouldn’t,” Aubrey laughed softly, “He’s trying to get laid, he won’t say anything.” She shrugged her shoulders as she rubbed the back of her neck before she shared a look with Danielle. Kim felt her shoulders sag, wondering if they’d all laugh about this once she was gone.

“You don’t have to go full hairless, that’s weird,” Danielle laughed, “Just around the edges, you know, maybe make it where it’s not so long.” She explained, looking like she was trying to be helpful. Kim gulped, wishing that Max would hurry from her class.

“Oh,” Kim’s face felt too hot suddenly, “I didn’t know that.” She said softly as she twisted her fingers together, feeling a little bit awkward as the conversation was still directed towards her. She gulped, wondering why Billy had never expressed that to her.

“That’s why we’re here to teach you,” Aubrey fake pouted as she patted Kim’s hand, “Trust me, your boyfriend will love it.” She encouraged Kim with a smile. Kim faltered for a second, trying to think about how she’d get a razor down there without slicing anything off.

“Does it hurt?” Kim asked, thinking about the times she’d cut her legs while shaving. It nearly made her wince to think about cutting anything that was sensitive.

“No,” Danielle laughed as she looked towards Aubrey again, “It doesn’t hurt at all.” She responded, stopping as Max finally began to make her way down the hall. Kim gulped as she gripped onto her backpack, glad to get away from this conversation.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” She muttered as she tightly gripped her straps. She walked forward, glad that she was escaping from them as she quickly met up with Max, “How was the rest of the day?” She asked her, hoping that Max had made some new friends.

“Alright,” Max shrugged her shoulders as they headed towards the big doors. Kim used a hand to tuck her hair behind her ears, trying to ignore the loud laughter from behind her, “They have a skating club.”

“Are you going to join?” Kim asked enthusiastically, thinking that it would be something that Max would really enjoy. Kim hoped that she was making friends, that she was becoming more accumulated than Kim was.

“Maybe,” Max shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t know if they’ll want me to.” She said in reference to the other kids in the group. Kim wondered if it was full of boys, or if there were a few girls in the club as well.

“That’s never stopped you before,” Kim responded softly, knowing that Max was fairly resilient, “You should do it. It’ll be fun.” She tried to encourage Max as they stepped out the big doors. Kim walked with Max up the hill, where Billy had been parking for this week.

Kim was still embarrassed, unsure of how she had managed to mess her car up so easily. She felt careless, a bit stupid for what she had done. She tucked her hair behind her ear, sending Billy a soft smile.

“Afternoon,” Billy smiled lazily at the two of them as he flicked his cigarette out the window, “How was your day?” Kim smiled, resisting the urge to peck his lips as she watched Max clamber into the backseat.

“Shitty,” Max grumbled as she held her backpack to her chest, “It’s lame.” She said dramatically as she stretched her feet out in front of her. Kim paused as she turned to send Russell a small wave.

“I like school,” Russell said softly as he returned a smile to Kim, “It’s not so bad once you get to know people.” He shrugged his shoulders, looking a little apologetic. Max shrugged her shoulders in return, looking like his statement wasn’t a big deal.

“Of course, you’d say that.” Billy snorted as he began to drive. Kim shook her head, giving him a slight push as her eyes turned down to down to where his fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel.

“Are you always an asshole?” Russell snapped in response, surprising Kim. She hadn’t seen him look so irritated before. She bit back a grin, realizing he scrunched his features the same way that Billy did when he got mad. She wondered if Rosemary did the same thing when she got upset.

“You get used to it,” Max said dryly, “He’s only nice to Kim,” She said dramatically, laughing as Billy blindly reached in the backseat to swat at her leg. She squealed loudly suddenly, squirming in her seat as Billy squeezed at her leg, “Stop it!” She shouted in protest.

Kim was beginning to enjoy the drive back to the house. The views were pretty, much prettier than Hawkins. Although, she had to admit that she missed the views of the cows and farm animals that they’d pass by. She wondered where the nearest farm was at, if it would cost money to see the cows.

“Do you want to meet them?” Billy asked her suddenly, once the younger two were inside and Kim was still struggling to put her heavy bag over her shoulders. She looked at him curiously, before remembering that he wanted to introduce her to Tommy’s friends.

“Can I shower first?” She asked him, taking herself by surprise. She wasn’t sure why she was asking to do it in the first place, but for some reason it just felt right.

“Uh, sure,” Billy smiled softly, “I’ll wait downstairs.” He told her with a nod of his head. Kim nodded her head, thinking that it sounded like a good idea. She’d like for him to sneak in with her, but knew that it wouldn’t work out well. She feared that Rosemary may find out.

Kim hesitated in the shower before she gripped the razor. She was cautious, taking her time to ensure that she didn’t cut herself. She felt weird shaving, but decided when she was finished that she did like it. She liked how smooth it felt, how it really didn’t look that messy anymore.

She did her makeup again as her hair dried. She felt a little nervous suddenly, unsure of what Billy’s friends would think about her. She didn’t think that his friends would necessarily have the same interests as she did.

“You look pretty,” He smiled at her as she made her way back downstairs again, “Are you ready?” He asked her, looking a little excited as a grin formed on his lips. She felt her own smile growing her lips as she prepared herself a response, when Rosemary interrupted her thoughts.

“Where are you two going?” She asked curiously, her dark eyebrows knitted together tightly as she watched them. Billy froze for a moment, his lips parting like he had no idea how to respond to her.

“Oh,” Kim paused as she glanced away from Billy, "To hang out with some of our friends.” She said softly as she tucked her hair behind her ears. Rosemary looked between the two of them, chewing on her bottom lip as she debated for a moment.

“Hm,” Rosemary leaned against the counter, “Did you finish your homework?” She tilted her head, still looking deep in thought. Kim shuffled from foot to foot, not used to having someone so inquisitive about where she was going.

“Not yet,” Kim gulped softly, “But I will.” She nodded her head encouragingly, feeling nervous as she twiddled her fingers back and forth. Billy looked withdrawn suddenly, like he wasn’t sure how to approach the situation either.

“Alright,” Rosemary inhaled deeply, not looking very happy with her own answer, “Just make sure you’re back by curfew. Maybe a little earlier so you can finish it.” She pointed a finger at both of them, giving them a stern look. Kim blanched as she quickly nodded her head.

“We won’t be out that late,” Billy reassured Rosemary, “Just for a little bit.” He said as she glanced towards Kim again. Rosemary nodded as she walked around the counter, taking Kim by surprise as she scooped her up into her arms.

“Just be safe.” Rosemary added softly as she pushed Kim’s lingering hair strands from her face. Kim blinked, nodding as she let herself squeeze Rosemary back. Billy watched them for a moment, his eyes flashing before he looked away. Rosemary paused for a second, staring towards Billy as a sorrowful look crossed her features.

“We will be,” Kim added quickly, “We’ll be back soon. We promise.” She nodded her head, speaking for both of them. Billy nodded his head as he tapped his fingertips against the counter. Rosemary nodded, but her gaze still remained towards Billy.

//////////////////

“This is Kim,” Billy introduced with a smile as he held onto her waist, “This is Chet and Dakota.” He gleamed as he smiled towards her, his eyes flickering with different emotions as he showed her off. Kim gulped hard, the smile on her lips wavering as she felt the nerves crashing across her chest.

“He doesn’t shut up about you,” Dakota grinned as she stepped forward, wrapping an arm around Billy’s waist, “Like you’re all he talks about.” She said as she leaned her head against Billy’s arm. Kim felt her smile dropping, watching as she smiled teasingly up towards Billy. She was pretty. With big brown and long, straight black hair. She had chunky, golden bangles around her wrists and two deep dimples in her cheeks when she smiled.

“Huh,” Kim smiled tightly as she pulled Billy a little further away, “Nice to meet you.” She said as politely as possible as she leaned over Billy to speak. She could feel herself tensing, not liking the way Dakota laughed it off as if it was nothing.

Chet stepped forward this time, holding a hand out for Kim to take. She lightly shook it, noting how he stood to be about Billy’s height. He had a crooked smile, with hair that grew lighter at the top of his head. He looked like he’d been out in the sun for too much time.

“Well, she’s cute,” Chet grinned kindly, “It’s nice to meet you too.” He added as he clasped his second hand over Kim’s, giving her a soft squeeze. She stared before she nodded her head, her tongue tangling up in her mouth so she was unable to form words.

“Shy?” Dakota questioned, tilting a dark eyebrow up in the air. Kim felt her face burning again as she rolled her tongue around in her mouth, desperately trying to get the words to form correctly before she made a fool of herself.

“She’s just timid,” Billy said softly, “She’s already got our Halloween costumes picked out.” Billy grinned as he lightly tugged at the ends of Kim’s hair. She smiled towards him, reminding herself to breathe as she tried to relax against his gentle touch.

“She’s really nice,” Tommy added, “The nicest ever.” He chuckled softly as he began to pass out cans of beer. Kim stared, watching his every movement suddenly as he moved closer and closer to her. She felt her fingertips tingling.

“Thanks,” Kim could feel her cheeks burning as she finally turned away and found the words to say, “They’re sweet.” She didn’t know what else to say as she began to laugh awkwardly. She wasn’t good at speaking to people. It wasn’t a concept that she understood.

She lingered around Billy, feeling like she was her shadow as they began to discuss things that she didn’t quite understand. Billy kept directing the conversation to her, urging her to speak but she was unsure of what to add. She didn’t know anything about sports nor did she feel comfortable enough to add her own input.

“Do you wanna-?” Chet started to speak, looking towards Kim with an inquisitive look before Tommy jumped on top of him. She held the cup of water in her hands, glancing towards Billy curiously as she was unsure of why Tommy had grown so defensive.

“No,” Tommy brushed Chet off as he took a hold of his arm, pausing his movements, “She doesn’t smoke.” He brushed Chet off. Kim observed them in confusion, watching the way Chet’s lips parted and he nodded his head knowingly. Billy shuffled in the spot next to her.

“Weed?” She asked curiously, tilting her head as she looked at the three boys. Chet glanced away, looking like he was pretending to watch the TV. She gently tapped one of her fingers against her palm, sensing that something was off.

“No just cigarettes,” Billy said quickly as he bent over to kiss the top of her head, “Do you care if I take a smoke break?” He asked, sounding a little urgent. She hoped she didn’t look defeated, but she felt a little weird sitting alone while they’d all be out smoking. She didn’t smoke, but it had never really bothered her before.

“Go ahead,” She answered instead as she tucked her hair behind her ear, “I’m fine.” She reassured him, noticing the way he was searching her features for a moment. His lips curled into a grin as he pressed his lips against the corner of her cheek.

The three boys were gone in another second, disappearing into a quick cloud into the room. Kim thought it was curious that they’d smoke in a room, but not out in the living room. It had certainly never stopped Billy before.

She drew her attention away as Dakota approached again, straddling the stool across from Kim’s as she smiled a little too brightly. Kim knew that it was dumb, but she was still bitter that Dakota had hugged Billy so easily. It had taken Kim a long time to build up that trust with him. She didn’t like the thought of someone else doing it in a shorter amount of time.

“What do you do?” Dakota asked suddenly as she crossed her fingers together, genuinely looking curious as Kim watched her again. She was sure that she had never seen such smooth, brown skin before. Kim suddenly wondered if Dakota was with Chet.

“I’m in high school.” She answered softly, unsure if she really wanted to entertain a conversation or not. She thought for a moment that she may be acting cold, but then she thought about Dakota hugging Billy all over again. She felt a little better, thinking that she was allowed to be a little guarded.

“What do you wanna do after?” Dakota asked with a smile as she clasped her fingers together. Kim felt her eyes drifting down towards her hands, noticing unfamiliar designs that seemed to be painted there. She quickly looked away, hoping it didn’t look like she had been staring.

“Maybe teaching.” She said softly as she thought about her answer. She still felt that would be the best-case scenario, but really didn’t know if that was something she wanted to do or not anymore. The more she thought about college, the more panicked she grew.

“You get paid shit,” Dakota proclaimed, taking Kim by surprise at how brash she was, “I mean, I can’t say much. I’m in art school.” She said a second later, laughing a little bit like it was funny.

“You want to be an artist?” Kim asked, feeling like she should participate a little better in the conversation. Dakota nodded as she glanced down towards her hands, flexing her fingertips apart a little bit.

“I’m working on doing tattoos,” Dakota said quickly, “It’s been hard.” She added a second later. Kim chewed on her bottom lip, able to imagine how hard it must be. She shifted in her seat, wishing that Billy would hurry with his cigarette.

“Do you have any sketches?” Kim asked, feeling like it was rude to not ask. Dakota’s face lit up as she nodded. She was gone in a second, walking into another room before she quickly emerged with a large folder. She handed it to Kim, practically bouncing in excitement as she sat down again.

“This is my portfolio.” She told Kim quickly, clarifying what she was handing to Kim. Kim nodded, sending Dakota a brief smile before she opened the folder and began to glance through them.

“Oh,” Kim paused as she looked up from the sketches, “These are nice.” She said softly, making sure her lips were hidden in hopes that Dakota couldn’t see through her lie. Kim knew that art was different to everyone, but truly didn’t see how Dakota could tattoo someone with these sketches. They were messy, perhaps even sloppy. Kim wondered if that was just the style or if she was missing something else.

“Thanks,” Dakota grinned widely, “It’s fun. I’ve gotten better within the last year.” She told Kim quickly, confirming Kim’s thoughts. She figured that Dakota must’ve not been doing art for too long, as the sketches really did improve the further back she went. She could tell Dakota still struggled a bit with shading, but that really could be difficult.

“You can only go up.” Kim tried with a tight smile as she passed the folder back to Dakota. She grinned wickedly, looking quite proud as she held the folder to her chest.

“Well if you ever want a tattoo, I’m your gal.” She said teasingly, but Kim could feel her eyes widen. She’d never thought about getting a tattoo before. Neil had always spoken of how evil they were and Susan seemed to agree with that fact. She couldn’t imagine that Sam would like them either. Tattoos didn’t seem like an option to her.

“Oh, I think they would hurt,” Kim said quickly, “Like a lot.” She shivered a bit, thinking about how bad it hurt when she needed to get shots and have her blood drawn. She couldn’t imagine letting a needle prick her skin for so long.

She looked up as the bedroom door slammed open again and Tommy came out in a flurry of laughter. Chet followed shortly behind him, his own dopey grin written across his lips. Billy lingered inside for a moment, smiling lazily towards Kim.

“Can you come here for a second?” He asked her, tilting his head as he waited for her to answer. She quickly nodded, glad to get away from her own conversation as she bounced off of the stool and quickly made her way across the room. She felt odd, like everyone else was apart of a secret that she was too dumb to catch onto.

“I thought you went to smoke?” She asked curiously as she looked around the room. Billy shut the door behind her, slamming it a little loud as he took her by surprise.

“We did,” Billy smiled as he pressed his lips against the corner of her jaw, “Why?” He looked at her curiously, his blue eyes dilated as confusion mixed within them. She flickered her eyes over her features, feeling like something was off.

“Nothing,” She said softly, not mentioning how she couldn’t smell the nicotine on him or in the room, “What are you doing?” She asked as his hands were suddenly on her. He cupped her waist softly, brushing his fingertips underneath the hem of her shirt.

“You feel good,” Billy spit out breathlessly as a dopey grin formed on his lips. He continued to trace his fingertips up and down her smooth skin, “So good.” He breathed out, looking like he had literal stars within his eyes.

“My skin does?” She giggled softly, unsure of why he was acting so weird. She tilted her head, trying to get a better look at him as he continued to drag his fingertips across her skin. She shivered, feeling goosebumps forming in his wake.

“Uh huh,” He mumbled as he leaned forward to kiss her lips. Kim was startled for a second at his forwardness, gaping as his tongue darted easily inside of her mouth, “Wanna feel all of you.” He pleaded as he ran a hand up her body, stopping once he reached her boobs.

“Stop,” She giggled softly as she took a hold of his hands, “This isn’t your room.” She reminded him quickly. He groaned as he lazily moved his hands away, but still fell forward to press his lips against the crook of her neck.

“So?” He grinned wickedly against her skin, “It is a room. With a bed.” He added slyly as he began to squeeze at her hips again. She felt a jolt of pleasure travel up her spine as she felt her opinion on the subject beginning to sway.

“What if someone catches us?” She whispered softly, feeling a little embarrassed at the thought of other people knowing. Billy began to trail his fingertips across her lips, looking enthralled with her skin.

He leaned forward, pressing his lips against hers slowly. She found herself melting against him, enjoying the way her body warmed at the feeling of his against hers. She breathed in slowly, dragging her lips against his as his tongue poked out against her bottom lip. She moved her tongue forward, pressing it against his as a groan left his mouth. She clenched her thighs in surprise, her clit jolting in pleasure as he began to suck on her tongue.

“Door is shut,” He said simply when he pulled away. She felt her body burning as he sucked on her neck, surely leaving marks before he pulled away to lick at her tender skin, “Come on. It’ll be fun. I’ll do that thing you like; you know with my tongue.” He grinned teasingly, leaning forward to tickle his fingers across her ribs.

“Hey,” She giggled in response as she pressed her hands over his in order to make him stop, “What thing with your tongue?” She asked curiously, unsure of what he was talking about. He grinned teasingly as he gripped her hips and tossed her into the bed.

A squeal left her lips before she quickly covered her mouth, worried that she had attained the attention of Billy’s friends outside the door. She felt the words dying on her tongue as Billy crawled into the bed with her, his eyes dark as he slowly pushed her down onto the mattress.

He loomed over her, both of his hands resting near her shoulders as his eyes flickered across her features. She watched as his eyes drifted towards his lips and he was suddenly licking his mouth, looking more desperate than she’d seen him in a long time.

“You know,” He said teasingly as he dragged one of his fingers across her collarbone, “When I put it in your pretty pussy. You always get so eager.” He breathed out harshly, moving down further so he could kiss her cheek.

She closed her eyes softly, inhaling shortly as she felt Billy’s warm breath against her cheek. He alternated suddenly, pecking a kiss to her other cheek before he moved back to his original position. He moved his lips slowly, teasingly in a wet trail before he pressed his lips against hers again.

She felt her chest arch up towards him as he stole the breath from her lungs, her body feeling weak underneath him as he kissed her deep and slow. He pressed his body further against her, slowly rutting his hips forward as he nipped and licked at her lips. She slowly moved her hands up to his strong shoulders, squeezing softly as she kept a hold of him.

He darted his tongue inside of her mouth again, licking around her cheeks and teeth before he was slowly rolling his tongue against hers. It took her a second to return the motions, lighting dragging his tongue against hers. It was sloppy, but sweet.

Her chest burned from the lack of oxygen, but she was too focused on his soft grunts and the way his tongue was sliding against hers to really care. He slowly pulled back, licking the length of her tongue languidly before he wrapped his lips around her tongue. She sighed, her pussy beginning to ache as she rolled her tongue around inside of his mouth.

He pulled away suddenly, his eyes darker than before as a trail of spit connected between the two of them. She sat up suddenly, hurriedly tugging off her shirt and bra. He sat up on his knees as he began to roughly strip his clothes away from his toned body.

Everything felt too hot as she pulled her pants off. She gripped at her panties, suddenly feeling a little shy as she glanced towards the door. Billy was already moving, laying down on the bed as he shuffled in between her legs.

“Give me the blanket,” She told him quickly as she pressed her hands over her boobs. He shot her an inquisitive look, his blonde curls pressing against her thigh as he tilted his head, “So no one sees me if they walk in.”

“Then I can’t see you,” Billy grumbled, but did as she asked. She quickly positioned the blanket over herself, feeling a little upset that she couldn’t tug it up high enough to hide her face underneath it. She was determined to watch him. But every time she pulled it up to her mouth, Billy’s butt was left exposed, “Relax.” He mumbled from underneath the blankets as he tapped on her thighs.

She did her best to listen as she let her head hit the pillows, closing her eyes softly as Billy dragged his wet tongue across her clothed cunt. She sighed, feeling like she was stuck in a dream as he slowly wiggled his tongue across the area where her clit was hidden.

He mumbled something; incoherent to her ears as he slowly tugged her panties down by the waistband. She rose her hips off of the bed for just a second as she allowed him easier access to rip them off completely.

Kim breathed out, waiting for Billy to continue but it was like he had become frozen in his spot. She paused, her eyes darting up at the ceiling as he roughly pulled the blankets off of his face. He looked at her offended, his eyes narrowed as his blonde curls cascaded over his forehead.

“What did you do?” He asked quickly, looking at her a little irritated as he kept her thighs far apart. She froze, unsure of how to answer him. She began to sit up a little straighter before Billy pushed her back down.

“Huh?” Kim asked, trying to look down to see what he was staring at. She was suddenly panicking, wondering if she really had cut something important off without knowing.

“You shaved,” He told her in disbelief, “Why would you shave?” He whined in bewilderment, like he couldn’t believe why Kim would do such a thing. She felt her face beginning to burn, feeling like his reaction wasn’t what she thought it would be.

“It’s classier,” She repeated meekly as she referenced what Danielle had said, “You don’t like it?” She questioned in worry, wondering if she had ruined her body for him. He pouted his lips out as he pressed his cheek against her thigh.

“I mean it’s always pretty,” He said quickly, “But I liked your hair. Now it’s all gone.” He whined pathetically as he ran his hands through what was left of it. She felt her eyebrows raising on her forehead, unsure of how she was supposed to react to his opinion.

“I thought you’d like this better.” She said slowly as she thought about what Aubrey and Danielle had said. Billy grumbled as he continued to stare down at her pussy, as if he was willing for the hair to magically grow back.

“I like your hair,” Billy continued to whine, “It’s pretty.” He mumbled as his lips dragged across her thighs. She giggled softly as she brought her fingertips through his blonde curls. He huffed again, still keen on pouting.

“You’re weird,” Kim said, giggling at the way he continued to brush his fingertips through her smaller tuft of hair, “I thought guys didn’t like hair?” She asked, feeling more unsure of her own thoughts. She felt a little dumb, wondering if it would’ve just been better to ask him.

“Whoever told you that is a fucking pussy,” He grumbled out as his eyes flicked up to her, “I guess this is the trend.” He mumbled pathetically as he squished his cheek against her thigh. She almost felt bad for him.

“Do you want to stop?” She asked him softly, feeling a little amused by the way his eyes widened again. He quickly shook his head, looking like she’d just asked him a ridiculous question.

“No,” He brushed her off as he spread her legs wide again, “I just needed to get over it.” He told her quickly. She bit her lip, lightly tugging on his shoulders until she brought him up onto his knees. She liked the feeling of his tongue on her cunt and liked how easily his tongue swirled inside of her. But right now, she really wanted to feel his cock inside of her.

“Okay,” She giggled softly as she reached down to stroke his thick cock, “Well, I’m very sorry.” She told him earnestly, enjoying the way his eyes closed and he lazily thrusted his hips forward. He huffed underneath his breath as his fingertips squeezed around her knees.

“Gonna treat you good,” He promised as he pushed her knees up higher, and higher until they were pressed up against her shoulders. She felt a squeak of protest leave her mouth at the way the back of her legs began to sting, “So pretty.” He mumbled as he leaned forward.

She felt her lips puckering in response, waiting for his lips to fall upon hers again. She blinked in surprise, a moan slipping free as his hot saliva fell onto the corner of her lips. She quickly licked it away, feeling her body beginning to tingle in response.

“Oh,” She gaped as Billy pushed his fat tip inside of her walls. She felt her head slowly rolled back onto the pillows, her legs burning from how roughly he was pressing down on her legs. He groaned and as it left his lips it sounded strangled and broken, “Billy.” She mewled in bliss.

His eyes fluttered shut as he lazily rolled his head back in awe. She watched; her lips parted as she admired the way his blonde curls touched the back of his neck. Billy’s fingertips dug into the thicker part of her thighs, squeezing roughly as he slowly dragged his cock out of her. She squeaked again as he slammed his hips forward, his cock stretching her walls roughly. She gaped, her nails digging into his skin as everything became far too intense.

His fingertips moved a little higher, gripping her calves as he roughly dragged his cock in and out of her wet cunt. She squealed, her lips pouting out as she felt her pussy squeezing down around his cock. She felt every curve of him, every vein as he rocked in and out of her.

The front of her thighs fell flat against her chest, squishing at her boobs as Billy crawled overtop of her. Her ass no longer brushed against the mattress at the way he had her positioned as he roughly dragged his cock in and out of her wet walls. He groaned in response, his sounds just as loud as hers as he linked their fingers tightly together.

“Billy,” She whined loudly, trying not to think about how his friends could probably hear her, “Oh my God. Right there! Fuck!” She couldn’t help but proclaim as the pleasure mingled and traveled up her spine and tummy. Everything felt too intense, too good.

Her moans became muffled by his lips as he squeezed her fingers against his own. Kim cried out against his mouth as his cock repeatedly brushed against her bundle of nerves, making her body shake underneath him as he pounded his cock in and out of her wet cunt. He moved his lips against her roughly, like he was trying to swallow her sounds of pleasure as he tongue began to press against hers.

Her feet were bouncing in the air with his movements as he roughly pressed into her. She squeaked in awe, her eyes rolling back in pleasure as he continued to press his fat cock deep inside of her. His tongue darted across her lips, licking away the drool from the corner of her mouth.

“Oh God,” He grunted against her lips as he moved one of his hands down between their squished bodies. Kim gaped as he held onto her hands with one of his this time, squeezing roughly as her body dipped further into the mattress. She blinked rapidly as Billy’s hair nearly pressed against her eyes from how near he was lingering over her, “Can you feel that?” He mumbled as he pressed down on the bulge that was pressing against her skin each time he thrusted.

Everything felt all too extreme as the pleasure traced up her spine and down to her clit. She couldn’t stop the moans that were pouring from her lips as Billy pulled her even closer, squeezed her a little harder. His head fell down towards hers, but his lips didn’t capture her mouth into a kiss. They stayed there for a second, their lips vibrating as they both shared a sound of pleasure with one another.

“Uh huh,” Kim whined in bliss as she finally found the words to answer. Her lips vibrated against his, tingling a little bit, “Please don’t stop. Need it so bad.” She pleaded with him as she clawed at his back, urgently needing to feel as much of him as she could.

“Hey-,” A voice interrupted Kim’s thoughts of pleasure as her head snapped to the side, “Oh shit, my bad.”

“Billy,” She tried to shove at him, trying to give him a warning sign to stop. Her eyebrows suddenly knitted together, her lips parting as her attention snapped back towards him as a fresh wave of pleasure washed over her, “Oh God!” She cried out, forgetting that anyone else was there until the door slammed shut.

Billy’s forehead pressed against hers, lightly bumping against her skin as he continued to thrust his hips forward harshly. She felt her toes curling in awe, her stomach muscles tightening as she clamped down around his cock. She cried out, sighing in bliss.

“Can I cum inside you? Fuck- fuck can I fill this pretty pussy up?” Billy questioned as he pleaded with her, his voice laced with desperation, “Please, baby, please.” He asked urgently, his features knitted tightly in pleasure like it was taking everything in him to keep from coming undone.

Her mind felt hazy, drunk on the feeling of his cock throbbing inside of her cunt. Her tongue felt heavy as the pleasure traveled through her whole body, warming her skin as his thrusts became more sporadic. He pressed into her harder, grunting loudly as his balls slapped against her skin.

“Yes, yes!” She nodded her head urgently, crying out as his cock fell against her bundle of nerves. Her thighs ached, her body squirming underneath his grasp as she came around him with a cry, “Oh God!” She squealed loudly as the air left her lungs.

“Fuck, fuck,” Billy grunted loudly, his cock filling her deeply as he pressed into her one last time. She felt her eyebrows knitting together at the sensation of his warm spunk filling her walls, spreading deep inside of her, “Jesus, fuck, Kim.” He cursed as he fell on top of her, squishing her completely.

She breathed in deeply, closing her eyes as she slowly released her tight grip from his body. Billy moved his face up to kiss her, breathing in the taste of her as he slowly dragged his lips against her own. Her chest pressed against his, meeting his sweaty skin as she struggled to keep up with his movements.

“I think Chet walked in,” She said in a panic as Billy’s forehead lightly dragged against her own, “What if he saw us?” Her heart was hammering from nerves suddenly as Billy’s lips lightly peppered across her nose and cheeks. She nudged him softly, trying to draw his attention to her words. He sighed deeply before he collapsed on her completely, pressing the last of her air from her lugs.

“Uh huh,” Billy panted out as his cheek fell to her sweaty chest, “Just give me a moment.” He pleaded with her softly, his cheek hot as he rested against her boobs. She wiggled a little bit, staring at the unlocked door in worry.

“Billy,” She nudged him softly, “What do we do?” She asked him seriously, unsure of how she was supposed to leave the room and make eye contact with any of them.

“Nothing,” He breathed in deeply before he was crashing his lips against hers. She stuttered against his mouth, giggling as his fingers found her ticklish ribs, “It’s fine. I promise.”

“He saw us.” She told him quickly, starting to feel a wave of panic spreading through her stomach. She was embarrassed, unsure of what Chet would think or say. She wanted to crawl through the window suddenly, and find a way to escape to the bottom that way.

“Are we hiding our relationship from them?” He asked casually, turning to look at her with an amused look in his eyes. She paused as she thought his statement through.

“No,” She said softly, “But he saw me naked.” She reminded him gently, feeling a little grin forming on her lips. She ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying how his curls wrapped around her fingers.

“Want me to kick his ass?” Billy asked seriously as he peppered kisses along her jawline, “Because I will. I’d do anything for you.” He reminded her as he flicked his tongue out against her skin.

“Isn’t this his room?” She asked him softly, laughing at the thought of Chet getting in trouble for coming into his own room. She was a little horrified at the idea of going out and facing them when it was obvious as to what they’d just done.

“Yeah,” Billy grinned as he faced her again, “But he still could’ve knocked.” He told her quickly as he began to shuffle her panties back over her feet. She squirmed for a moment before she was able to get fully dressed. Her legs still felt like jelly, like she was too weak to stand on her own.

“Can we sneak through the window?” She asked a little desperately, feeling like she wouldn't be able to look at anyone in the eye. She had a crushing feeling that they had been loud and quite obvious. He looked at her curiously as he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.

“Why would we do that?” He chuckled like it was a ridiculous statement. She pouted her lips out, as she felt his spunk dripping from her pussy. She feared that everyone else would know, that they could see what was happening.

“So, I won’t be judged.” She admitted pitifully as he burst into a loud laugh. He shook his head once he was finally dressed before he tugged her up with his strong hand. He fixed her outfit before he pushed her messy hair away from her eyes. She wondered what her makeup looked like.

“I got you,” He told her softly as he leaned forward to brush his lips against hers, “Don’t worry about it too much.” He reassured her as he slowly tucked her hair behind her ears.

She held his hand, but stood behind him in an effort to hide as they casually walked out of the room. She did her best to remain stoic, but realized Billy was failing to do so by the wide grin that was formed on his lips.

“You dog,” Chet grinned from ear to ear as he smacked the back of Billy’s shoulder, “Your ass is cleaning those sheets.”

#billy hargrove #billy hargrove smut #billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove stepcest #tw stepcest #tw pseudocest #billy hargrove x original character #stepcest #Dancing in the Dark

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pseudolife-archived4 · 8 months ago

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every once and a while on my personal blog i'm reminded of this interview from 2022 where elliot talks about how happy he is to see someone "who looks like me, or identifies like me being celebrated as a hero." in reference to gaz. implying he's gay. and i start to cry because it really be like that. gaz is gay. gaz is gay in canon, and elliot actively ships gazprice. and then i think about CANON LESBIAN KATE LASWELL talking about her fucking WIFE. and bisexual alejandro as confirmed by alain mesa. and how fuckin, neil actively goes out of his way to search and like soapghost on twitter (please, we have ALL SEEN THE LIKES, THE REPOSTS, THE UNPROMPTED AND EXCITED TALKING ABOUT IT) and how sam is EXACTLY IN THE SAME BOAT (and i suspect this is why soap was killed because YA CANT HAVE GHOST BE GAY NOPE he is the cishet male fantasy character despite... everything.), and that yulian ACTIVELY searches the makarov tags on social media (please note: NOT HIS NAME. AND NOT #MAKAROV BUT SIMPLY JUST MAKAROV AND MWIII) and SHARES ALL THE ART INCLUDING GAY SHIP ART with his fans in a group chat in instagram (YES BITCH, I AM IN THAT AND YES BITCH, HE GIVES OUT CREDIT. AND IF HE IS ALERTED TO STOLEN ART, HE CORRECTS HIMSELF IMMEDIATELY AND GOD I LOVE YULIAN MORE THAN I LOVE BREATHING) BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. HE DOESN'T HAVE TO DO ANY OF IT??? He also ACTIVELY LIKES art he's not even tagged in with ships with Makarov and other characters in the series. (1, 2) (he also.. likes ghostsoap???? again an unprompted LIKE ON TWITTER) but also that stefan (nikolai) has actively liked and retweeted nikprice art before and also he's really into the deadpool/colossus ship and that's a WHOLE ASS OTHER THING SURE BUT LMAO I LOVE! SUPPORTIVE! ACTORS!

I guess what I'm trying to get at is this: COD was probably not made intentionally for us, but the cast has made it so, of their own free will.

They've taken military propaganda and remixed it square enix style for people who don't get to see themselves represented in media ever, especially as heroes. (allow me to borrow Elliot's wording, it's so so so important okay.)

Well, except Vova Makarov.

And, yanno, the fact that the boys are literal war criminals. But you know what I mean aha.

THE CAST HAS MADE THIS A WELCOMING SPACE FOR THE LGBT+. AND THAT'S SO FUCKING RAD.

AND SOMETIMES I THINK WE NEED TO SIT BACK AND THINK ABOUT HOW COOL THAT IS. BECAUSE NOT A LOT OF OTHER FANDOMS AND SHIP SHIT IN MEDIA GET THAT KIND OF SUPPORT???

SO. NO MORE SHIP WARS. ONLY APPRECIATION FOR THIS CAST AND HOW GREAT THEY FUCKING ARE.

but also for fucks sake can i get some yuri content that man was so barking hot i'm still fuming about it.

#mun » ooc #long rant post #i like my men bald with attitude problems and trauma #this is my truth.

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foundtherightwords · 2 years ago

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The Quiet Chaos - Chapter 5

Pairing: Billy Knight (Lethal White/Strike) x OFC

Summary: After a bad breakup throws her carefully-planned life into disarray, Esme has sworn off dating forever. However, when she forms an unexpected connection with a young man named Billy, who's dealing with his own struggles, Esme is forced to face the truth: sometimes you can't plan for love.

Warnings: mental health issues, angst, slow-burn, developing relationship, dysfunctional family, some violence (non-graphic), some smut (non-explicit)

Chapter warnings: awkward sex, discussion of self-harm

Chapter word count: 4.4k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - Dawn and Emerald

It was late, and the tube was packed with weary people coming back from their evening shifts. Esme felt sorry for them, for how downtrodden they looked, and was almost embarrassed for how happy she was. The return journey seemed longer than the journey to the allotment, but it was probably because she was so eager to get off, and so was Billy.

She leaned on his shoulder, her hand in his, their fingers all tangled up. Now and again, she would raise her head, and he leaned down to meet her halfway. Their lips brushed briefly. She wanted to pull him to her and feel his mouth over hers again, but their carriage was nearly full, and she didn't feel brave enough for a public make-out session yet, so she had to satisfy herself with those fleeting touches. Even then, they still made her feel absurdly giddy, like a teenager having her first crush. Not that I know what that's like. When I was a teenager, I was too busy making sure Sibby, Tiff, and Sam ate and bathed and did their homework.

When they reached their station, Billy pulled her back and asked quietly, "Are we going to your place, or mine?"

A thrill went through Esme. Is this really happening? She remembered having to Google "how many dates before you have sex" while going out with Neil, and being so confused because the results were so wildly different. Never would she dream, in a million years, that she would be going home with a guy at the end of their first date. OK, first official date, but still.

As she pondered his question, however, that thrill faded somewhat in the face of practicalities. "Mine is probably better," she said. "Not that there's anything wrong with your flat," she quickly added. "It's just... Angua's not allowed there."

"That's OK. I've always wanted to see where you live." He took her hand again, and they all but ran to her flat.

The moment the door shut behind them, Billy drew her to him, picking up where they'd left off, but Esme couldn't seem to rediscover the excitement she'd felt first in the greenhouse and then on the tube. Her insecurities were rearing their heads, reminding her of a million ways in which she was inadequate, in which this might turn out as disappointing as their botched first date. She extricated her lips from Billy's, muttering, "I thought you wanted to see the flat."

"Later." He peeled her jacket off, then his own.

"I have to give Angua some water—"

But Angua would not be used as an excuse. The moment Esme let her off the leash, the little dog trotted to her water bowl, which was already full, lapped up some water, and settled into her bed with a contented sigh and a sideway glance at them, as if to say, "That's it for me tonight. You crazy kids get on with it." Esme laughed helplessly and let Billy pull her back into his arms.

This could work, she told herself. This will work.

At least, it never felt this way with her exes. Sex with Marco was awkward and fumbling, both of them being too young and inexperienced to really know how to work with each other. Her casual dates were just that, casual. Neil was... adequate, but certainly he's never been such a blazing heat against her, nor has he ever slammed her into a wall so hard she could feel her spine tingling, while in search of the bedroom door.

"Um, Billy, that's the broom cupboard."

He buried his face in her neck, laughing. "Right. Sorry."

She steered him toward the bedroom. He reached for the light switch by the door, but she put out a hand to stop him. "Do you mind if we keep the lights off?" she said. That was how she had always done it, letting the dark hide her shyness and her imperfections, her too-small breasts, her flabby stomach, the weird stretch marks from puberty that never went away. It had annoyed Neil, who preferred to see what he was doing, to no end, but it'd annoyed him even more when she seized up under a bright light, so he'd let it slide.

There was still some light coming in through the window from the street, enough for her to see Billy frown briefly, but he shrugged, amenable as always. "Sure."

They found their way to the bed, and the rest of their clothes, whatever that hadn't been discarded already all over her living room and kitchen floors, came off. Esme ducked under the cover. A second later, Billy joined her, his hot body pressing down on her, his mouth dropping scorching little kisses down her neck, her shoulder, her breast, his callused fingertips running down her sides, rough yet gentle at the same time, sending trembles all over her. His frenzy, so different from his usual shy self, caught her off-guard.

"Have you been with—have you been with lots of girls before?" Esme asked.

"Does it matter?" he said, his voice muffled as he trailed his lips over her skin.

"No. I'm just wondering."

"There was one or two... but not like this. Not like you." His lips were on her again, and she realized she didn't mind it, didn't mind letting him sweep her away in a whirlwind of desire, of excitement, of things unknown but intoxicating. Her hips started to move under him.

But then Billy paused. She could feel his arms quivering as he held his body poised over her.

"Hold on... I think—I think we should slow down," he panted in her ear.

"I thought you said we would be at it all night," she whispered back with a giggle, rolling her hips more deliberately, rhythmically, pressing herself into his hand.

"More reason for—slowing down then—"

"But I don't want to slow down." She reached out, searching for him, guiding him to her.

Suddenly he wrenched away from her with a moan, and she felt something hot and sticky splash across her belly and thighs.

Billy dropped his head.

"Shit," he mumbled into her shoulder. "Shit, shit, shit. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

For what felt like an eternity, Esme could only lie there, motionless, while Billy said sorry again and again, his hands digging into her arms, his breath hot on her skin. Then she found herself thinking, as if her mind was somewhere outside of her body, And I just washed the sheets too.

The thought reminded her of practical matters. She shifted her hips, but Billy was pinning her in place. "I need to get up," she said.

He bolted up. "Sorry, yeah, sure..."

She gingerly lifted the duvet, sat up, and got out of bed.

"D'you need me to get you a towel or—"

"No," she replied, more sharply than she intended. "Just... no. It's fine."

She went into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The hot water did little good for her jumbled thoughts. Is it possible to die from embarrassment? Because she wanted to curl up inside herself and die, right now. Was it her fault? Had she pushed him too strongly? He had asked her to slow down, and she hadn't listened. It was their first date all over again. No, it was even worse, because she'd been so nervous about their first date that the disappointing end had been almost a relief, and at least she could blame Billy's hypomania for that. But this? After their first kiss, and all that passion, all the expectation... this was crushing.

Then she realized she's been focusing too much on herself. If this was such a blow to her, then how mortified Billy must be feeling. Oh God, what if he's left? Wrapping a towel around herself, she ran into the bedroom. No, he was still there, sitting at the end of the bed with his head in his hands. The despondent hunch of his shoulders sent a twinge through her heart.

"Saved you some hot water," she said, much more softly than before, and dug out a clean towel from her cupboard.

He looked at her, then at the towel in confusion. It took him a moment to realize she wasn't mad at him. He took the towel, mouthed "Thank you", and darted into the bathroom.

While waiting for him, Esme put on her pajamas and turned on the nightlight. Billy reemerged a few minutes later, the towel wrapped around his waist.

"Listen, Esme, I'm really sorry about—" he began.

Esme was about to interrupt and tell him there was nothing to apologize for, when she caught a glimpse of his chest. There was a large mass of scars right under his collarbone, above his sternum. This was the first time he appeared without a top in front of her, so she'd never seen them before. When they were in bed together, she had been too focused on his mouth and his hands and everything else to notice the bumps under her fingers. But now they were there, unmistakable, and there appeared to be a particular shape to them...

She turned on the big light so she could examine the scars more clearly. Billy saw her eyes widen and attempted to cover himself with his hand, unwittingly repeating the nose-to-chest tic that she now recognized always surfaced whenever he was stressed or upset. But the gesture wasn't enough to cover the scars. She had seen. The scars were in the shape of a horse. No, not just a horse. The Horse. The Uffington White Horse.

"What happened?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Billy reluctantly dropped his hand. "... I did it."

She stared at him in horror. "What?!"

"A few years ago, I had a... psychotic break. It was bad. I cut myself. I don't remember why. I don't even remember doing it. I just... had to."

Tears welled up in Esme's eyes, blurring the shape of the Horse. Now she knew why he had fled at the sight of her necklace. What happened to him on that hill that haunted him so? She couldn't envision what horrors he'd been through, what pain he'd endured. She was only aware of the aching gulf between them, filled with those unknown things. How could she ever hope to cross that gulf and reach him?

"Please don't cry." He lifted his hand as if to wipe away her tears, but it seemed he couldn't bring himself to cross the gulf either. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

Esme shook her head. "You're not making me cry," she said. "I'm crying for you. There's a difference."

"How?"

"When someone made you cry, that's because they're hurting you. When you cry for someone, that's because you love them." She didn't know where those words came from. They sounded like something in one of her mum's sappy books.

Billy gazed at her for a long moment. "Does that mean you love me?" eventually he asked.

She paused, not knowing how to answer. Instead, she reached out to touch the scars, lightly brushing her fingertips over them. And then, because touching was not enough, she leaned down and kissed them.

Billy sucked in a breath. "Esme, I can't—" But she kept the kiss tender, not sensuous, and a second later, she straightened up. He was looking at her, his lips quivering with things unsaid, his eyes sparkling with tears, looking so vulnerable that she took him in her arms, rocking his head on her shoulder. "It's all right," she murmured soothingly. "We don't have to do anything if you're not ready. Just stay with me. If you want to," she remembered to add.

He did want to stay. Soon they were nestled next to each other in bed, her arms around him, her head on his shoulder. Esme again rethought her idea of a first date. This is nice too, she decided, as she fell asleep to the sound of his soft snores, feeling his breath on her hair.

***

It must be quite early—the window was still dark, though there was a grayish quality to the darkness that told her morning was close—but something had woken her up. Then Esme realized it was Billy, lying on his back next to her, groaning and thrashing in the throes of a nightmare. She knew better than to try and wake him up in this state, so she rolled him to his side instead. As she did so, Billy's eyes popped open, huge and haunted, looking at her without seeing her. "Dawn?" he said.

She didn't know whether he was asking for someone named Dawn or whether he thought she was Dawn or whether he was asking if it was dawn, but now was not the time to ask. "Shh, it's OK," she whispered. "You're having a nightmare." His eyes closed then, and he slipped quietly back to sleep.

However, sleep eluded Esme, whose head was filled with questions about the mysterious Dawn. Of course, she had no illusion that Billy had never been with anyone before—he had told her as much. And it did not matter anyway. But if this Dawn meant so much to him that he called out for her in his sleep, she'd want to know.

The next morning, over breakfast, she asked, keeping her voice nonchalant, "Who's Dawn?"

Billy looked up from his toast. "Where'd you hear that name?"

"You had a nightmare and called me Dawn."

"Did I?" His fingers tapped the jar of strawberry preserve, a ghost of his tic. "God, I haven't thought of her in years."

"Who is she?" Esme repeated, a touch impatiently now.

"She's my—um, my brother's wife. Well, ex-wife."

"Your brother?"

"Jimmy."

Presumably, this was the same Jimmy that frightened young Billy with tales of the dog-meat curry. Another puzzle piece fell into place.

"I used to stay with them sometimes, when my dad—when I first came to London," Billy continued. "She's a lot older than Jimmy, I think, and Jimmy's a lot older than me, so she's more like an aunt. But she was kind to me. I used to have these nightmares about—" Again, there was a pause, and a correction—"nightmares like you wouldn't believe, and she would calm me down. But Jimmy got angry with me for telling her about the Horse. So I left to share a flat with some mates, and then Dawn and Jimmy split up. I never saw her again." There was a wistful note in his voice. "She's the closest thing to a mum I ever had."

"Where's Jimmy now?" Esme asked.

"Prison," Billy replied, and said no more.

How silly of her, to feel jealous of Dawn! There was another stab of pain in Esme's heart, not just for Billy, but also because with each of his reveals, the gulf between the two of them seemed to be gaping a little wider. How could she be there for him, when he spoke of things she could never imagine, no matter how many books and articles and studies she read? How could she support him when she didn't know what he was going through? She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze, an inadequate gesture compared to his pain. He smiled at her, but even that smile could not drive away the fear that one day, all her tears and kisses and touches would not be enough.

But Esme tried to ignore that fear and continued seeing Billy. She no longer fretted about what to do for their dates. They still met every Saturday to walk the dogs at the rescue center. When they didn't have the late shifts, he would come to her flat for dinner and stay the night. During her lunch breaks, Esme would bike down to Asda or the woodworking studio so they could have lunch together on the river bank. She discovered her love for flea markets again while scouring them for things to brighten up Billy's flat, and Billy would sometimes accompany her as well—much like herself, he didn't mind crowds as long as he didn't have to interact with them. But most of the time they just stayed home, cooking and eating and reading and going to bed together.

They had yet to try having sex again, though Esme had gone to her doctor to refill her birth control prescription and to make sure everything was good to go. Sometimes, when Billy spent the night, she would wake with his hand on her breast and the hard ridge of his arousal behind her, but then he would also wake, go crimson, and turn away or even jump out of bed. If she hinted that they might have another go at it, he would try to deflect, and it turned into the most awkward back-and-forth of "We don't have to if you don't want to" and "If you don't mind that I don't want to". In the end, Esme decided to just drop it. It made Billy uncomfortable, and she, in turn, would feel bad about making him uncomfortable, so why put more pressure on both of them? Of course, if the timing was right... but she never did have good timing. So she just learned to take things as they come and not to think too much of the future.

She also learned that it was OK to ask a lot of questions, and to talk, and to listen. Billy had good days and bad days, and she learned not to take his bad days personally. If anything, the bad days helped her to treasure the good days even more, made every moment they spent together even more precious, and gave special meanings to the simplest of things, like falling asleep next to him and waking up, knowing he was still there.

***

That Sunday, the flea market in Camden was quieter than usual. The colder weather might have something to do with it, but Esme didn't mind as she linked arms with Billy and strolled through the stalls, stopping at whatever caught their eyes. Seeing a table full of used books, they both navigated toward it without a word, and grinned at each other when they noticed their synchronized steps.

A crate of brightly-covered children's books stood in front of the table. To Esme's horror, she recognized them. A box containing similar books was currently gathering dust in her storage shed. With a glance at Billy, who was digging through the stacks next to her, she tried to nudge the crate out of the way, but her movement only drew Billy's attention. He saw the author's name. "Ivy Pendergast... Hey, she has the same last name as yours! This isn't your mum, is it?"

Of course, she had told him that her mum was a writer and illustrator of children's books, as well as other basic facts—her dad was a glass artist, she grew up in Kent, and she had three younger siblings, Sybil, Tiffany, and Sam. Billy had raised an eyebrow at that and said, "They really do like Discworld, don't they?" (they had been reading the books together—well, rereading for Esme—and Billy was really getting into the City Watch, because, as he said, he liked stories about crime-solving), and Esme had nodded in mock weariness. But there were still things she hadn't told him, and now she silently cursed her dad for not having a more common last name, and her mum for taking that last name when they married, despite all her feminist ideals. I could lie. But he's bound to find out sooner or later. Better get this over with.

"That is my mum, actually," she mumbled.

Billy flipped through the content of the crate with interest. "Emerald Saves a Grasshopper," he read out loud. "Emerald Saves a Lizard. Emerald Saves a Fox."

Esme closed her eyes, praying that he wouldn't put two and two together. After all, not a lot of people know Esme is short for Esmeralda, and even fewer know Esmeralda means Emerald in Spanish.

But apparently Billy was one of those people. "Emerald?" he said. "Esmeralda? It's you, isn't it?"

Esme nodded, smiling to hide her pained expression. "She started writing them when I was about three. They were all quite simple at first, but then she ran out of animals, and now it's Emerald Saves a Lesser-Spotted Blue Tit and Emerald Saves a Mantis Shrimp and God knows what else. It'll be Emerald Saves an Amoeba next, probably."

He grinned. "So she just saves animals?"

"It's for kids age 5 and under, Billy, they don't need a plot. She saves other things too, but they're not as popular as the animal ones... What are you doing?"

He was buying them. He was actually buying the books. God help me.

"You don't have to buy them, you know," she quickly said. "I probably still have a few boxes of them in the shed if you want. Signed, too."

"You should keep those. They'll be worth something in the future, right?"

"I doubt it. She's signed so many of them that the unsigned ones might be worth more."

Billy grinned again. After he'd paid for the books, he asked, "Why didn't you tell me that your mum's books were based on you?"

Esme just shrugged. The truth was that, by the time she started school, they were no longer based on her. What she didn't tell Billy was that before growing up in Kent, she had grown up in a lot of other places as well, with the five of them—Sam hadn't been born at that point—crammed into one tiny camper van. It was the best day of her life when her dad decided to become a glass artist and realized you couldn't set up a kiln in a camper van. Nor did she tell him that her parents were always too busy with their creative endeavors to actually parent, and it fell to her, as the eldest, to give her younger siblings some sort of routine and structure in their day-to-day life. While Emerald was saving all sorts of cute animals and having adventures, Esme had to save her siblings from getting into scraps and falling behind in their classes. She grew to hate those books.

She didn't tell Billy any of it because she realized, compared to his nightmarish childhood, hers was practically idyllic. She knew how terrible it would sound if she complained to him that she'd had to take care of her siblings growing up, when he'd grown up motherless, beaten by his father, and abandoned by his brother. And so she kept silent.

At the same time, she would love for her family to meet Billy. They all disapproved of Neil, but she knew they would adore Billy. And he would adore them, provided that they didn't stress him out too much. She only hoped her relationship with Billy had reached a point when it was appropriate to introduce him to her family (why isn't there a guide to such things?)

"What are you doing for Christmas?" she asked one night while they were in bed, Feet of Clay propped up on her knees. Christmas was still a few weeks away, but knowing Billy (and herself), she thought she'd give themselves time to mentally prepare.

"Nothing, probably. Last year Jacob invited me to his house, but this year he's going to visit his daughter in Australia. You?"

"I have to work on Christmas Day."

"Bummer."

"I don't mind. Christmas is always a busy time. People don't pay as much attention to their pets, and they can get into all sorts of things. Someone has to hold the fort."

"I'll come by and keep you company."

"Ugh, stop being so stinking sweet, will you?" She leaned down and gave him a peck on the lips. Then, in a carefully casual manner, she said, "I'm going down to Kent to see my parents on Boxing Day though. Would you like to come with me?"

Billy sat up to face her. "You really mean it?"

"Yeah."

"Do they... what did you—I mean, how much did you tell them about me?"

"Not much, just that I'm seeing someone." She looked into his eyes. "Do you want me to tell them about your condition?"

He reached for her hand, clasping it tightly as if to stop his nervous tic, to anchor himself. "Would they... object, if they know?" he asked in a small voice.

"No," she said firmly. "And even if they did, it wouldn't matter to me." She lifted his hand and kissed his calluses. Billy's eyes softened. He tugged her forward until she landed on his lips.

"How did I get so lucky?" he whispered against her mouth.

But Esme had other things on her mind. "I have to warn you though, my parents are kind of... unconventional." She almost laughed at the understatement.

"I've gathered as much."

"No, honestly. For one thing, they don't celebrate Christmas."

"Are they Jewish or—"

"No, they just think it's too commercialized. When I was growing up, they would just give us presents whenever they felt like it. Only when my sisters and I moved away that they accepted that Christmas was one of the few times we could all get together, so they reluctantly agree to host it, but they still won't do any of the traditional things though. It's daft."

"I think it's cute."

"It may have been cute when we were kids, but not when we started going to school," Esme said with a humorless laugh. "Imagine having to explain to your classmates that you had no Christmas presents because your parents didn't feel like it."

"At least you had presents," Billy said quietly, and shame burned Esme's face. She was doing the very thing she had vowed not to do—complain about her parents in front of Billy. She kissed him again to distract from the offense.

"I'm just telling you so you won't have to worry about bringing presents or anything."

"OK, I won't." He kissed her back. "You can tell them about me. I don't mind."

Chapter 6

A/N: The detail about Billy carving the Horse into his chest was taken from the show. It didn't happen in the book, as far as I remember.

Taglist: @quinnypixie, @accidentalslag, @etherealglimmer

#billy knight #billy knight strike #cb strike #billy knight fic #billy knight x ofc #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fic #joseph quinn character #billy knight smut #joseph quinn smut

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brettyimages · 2 years ago

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Autofiction tour day 10: Leeds

The last day of tour, better make it count! I headed up to the o2 with a coach party of IOs to take my last number of the tour (20) just before 11am. Arts and crafts time had started with Simon and Mat paper dolls propped up in the corner, so we got to work on adding Neil, then Richard. After lunch and an eventful Travelodge check-in I made it back in time for clearing up and readying the queue. I missed half of the band arriving but Neil and Brett showed up a little later and met their paper doll selves - Neil posing with little Neil a particular tour highlight for me. Then ears pressed the door for a final soundcheck: Pale Snow and IDKHT Reach You (3 times until it was right). I hung out there under cover for a little longer, eating birthday cake and waiting for the rain to stop so I could get back to my queue spot and thankfully I stayed as another song started being soundchecked on piano... Stay Together. My heart stopped for a moment as I tried to figure out whether my ears were deceiving me, then the four of us gathered by the box office ran to the back of the venue which had an open door, holding one another as we listened to the song being rehearsed. After that the queue was an excruciating wait - would they play it? They'd scrapped Wastelands on piano in Bristol so it wasn't a sure thing but I still vibrated with excitement.

Just before doors came Sam with an armful of leftover October tour T-shirts for those of us who'd spent a good chunk of the month on the road ("a gift from Suede"), then lining up time. The venue's notoriously bad entry system worked in my favour and despite expecting second row, I got my barrier spot in front of the magic carpet again. Perfect for watching the Sprints bassist who took the opportunity to pose on the monitors as they made my dream come true and added I'm In A Band to the set. Even better for watching Brett plunge to his knees for the final act of IDKHT Reach You, delivered into my filming camera. Then it happened: Stay Together. Stunning as a piano number. Brett sounded beautiful. I managed not to cry and just basked in the glow of my favourite Suede single. The rest of the set was standard, excellent as always, bittersweet as the final one but such a joy.

Outside security warned us that the band would leave via the bottom door so we all traipsed down the hill and gathered in such numbers that I knew I wouldn't see any of them there. I took a gamble and headed back up to where the van was still parked, and it paid off: first Simon, congratulating the 3 of us for being clever and offering hugs. Then Richard, Mat, Brett and Neil, waving each one off as they headed homewards. Not for us though - Key Club for nostalgic 00s indie (and Elephant Man) until 3am closing time. Truly, an incredible Suede tour.

#autofiction era #tourstories

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tvobsessed96 · 2 years ago

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2022 TV Recap

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, but I wanted to bring back something I used to quite enjoy doing! Reviewing and ranking the best TV I watched in a given year, that is. I kept track of all the new TV I watched last year on Twitter with the intention of picking a top 10 or top 5 episodes at the end. But after giving it some thought, I want to try something a little different. Since the pool is actually a lot smaller than I thought it would be and I don’t particularly have the motivation to rank all the episodes anyway, I’ve decided it might be better if I simply recap and review the shows I watched last year and list a few standout episodes at the end! With that explanation out of the way, let’s get into it.

The Shows

This Is Us (Season 6)- One of the most talked about (and cried about) shows of the past decade came to an end in 2022, and I can honestly say it was pretty spectacular! The main focus of this season was how the Pearson family handled Rebecca’s declining health, and it was pretty effective. The performances all around were incredible, but I was especially stunned that Mandy Moore didn’t get her long overdue Emmy win or even a nomination! She’s long deserved it, and it’s a shame the show has ended without her getting that recognition. I know some fans said this season (particularly the finale) lacked some of the flashiness one might expect, especially considering how long they’d been planning this ending. But honestly, I can’t imagine a more perfect way to end this cozy, emotional family drama than what we got. Was it the best season of This Is Us overall? Maybe not. But it was certainly a very good one, and immensely satisfying in a number of different ways.

Ghosts (US) (Seasons 1B and 2A)- I decided to tune into Ghosts when it premiered in the fall of 2021 because it looked like a lot of fun and I’m a big fan of Rose McIver. Having never seen the British version, I didn’t quite know what to expect. I’m so glad I tuned in! The beginning of season 1 is a little bit rough around the edges. But as the show has grown into itself and found its own voice, it’s become a true delight! Throughout the second half of season 1 and first half of season 2, the show just kept getting funnier and sweeter! I love all the ghosts, I love Sam and Jay, and I’m excited to see what fun stories the writers come up with now that the B&B has been fully operational for a bit. If you like charming, hilarious stories about a group of people who love each other having wacky adventures, this show might be for you!

Good Trouble (Season 4)- Good Trouble continues to be one of the best shows not enough people are talking about. I know a lot of fans were nervous going into this season when it was announced that Maia Mitchell would be leaving, but I think the writers handled it very well. The Coterie crew still feels like the Coterie crew! One thing that stood out to me the most was the character growth. Everyone feels so grown up and mature compared to when we first met them 4 years ago! Alice standing up for herself and regaining her confidence as a performer! Malika figuring herself out and making smart career moves while also not losing the passion for social justice that makes her who she is! Davia standing up to her mom, setting boundaries in her relationships, and finally having the courage to stop beating around the bush with Dennis! Gael becoming a father!! There’s a lot to look forward to in season 5, including the resolution of that insane cliffhanger, and I can’t wait!

Raven’s Home (Season 5)- I’m actually...not fully caught up on Raven’s Home. Oops! But I have watched enough of the season to be able to say that I’ve really enjoyed it! I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel given the huge changes that were made and the absence of some beloved characters. I’m happy to say the show still brings a huge smile to my face! Ivy, Neil, and Alice are my children and they must be protected at all costs! And bringing Alana back as the principal was a brilliant choice!

So You Think You Can Dance (Season 17)- I enjoyed this season of SYTYCD. I did! I really liked the cast and there were some really great routines! Unfortunately, there were some things that disappointed me as well. For one, it was way too short. They’d been doing shorter seasons with smaller casts for a few years, but something about this season felt extra rushed and condensed. It felt like we barely had time to get to know the dancers before we were down to the final few. Additionally, as much as I tried to put a positive spin on it when it was first announced, limiting the voting to just the studio audience was not a great choice. If Fox can’t give SYTYCD the time and freedom it needs to truly live up to the potential of the format, maybe they shouldn’t have brought it back at all. That’s not to say I won’t be tuning in for season 18, which I assume is happening. Let’s hope the network hears the fans out!

Only Murders in the Building (Season 2)- I absolutely LOVED the first season of OMITB, and season 2 was also excellent! Funny, an acceptable amount of suspense, some great twists, and excellent character work! I’m not sure the mystery was quite as well crafted as the first season, but that didn’t make it any less engaging to watch. Really looking forward to season 3!

Reboot (Season 1)- As a TV nerd and a sitcom nerd specifically, there’s pretty much no way I wasn’t going to check this one out! It’s about the cast of a fictional sitcom from the 2000s coming back together to do a reboot. I expected it to be a silly good time, but it’s also surprisingly deep. It’s very funny, that’s for sure, but there’s also some great character work and satire going on, too. I recommend checking it out!

The Standout Episodes

“Kiss Me and Smile for Me” (Good Trouble 4x02)- How do you properly say goodbye to a character that’s been a huge part of your life for the better part of a decade? As a writer, as an actor, or as a fan? That was the task Good Trouble was presented with when Maia Mitchell decided she would be departing the role of Callie Adams Foster, and I think the writers did a very admirable job! The episode did a good job of closing this chapter of Callie’s life while making it clear that she has a very bright future ahead of her. From the goodbyes Callie got to have with each member of the Coterie crew, to the sometimes complicated but always heartwarming bond between the Adams Foster sisters, to the callback to Callie and Mariana’s first party at the Coterie, it was a truly lovely episode from start to finish! Callie Adams Foster will always be a very special character to me and watching her growth from the terrified teenager who didn’t believe she was worthy of love or a family to the confident woman who got on that plane to DC was incredible. I hope we get to see some more guest appearances before the show eventually ends!

“Miguel” and “The Train” (This Is Us 6x15 and 6x17)- Death and grief have always been themes that This Is Us has been pretty skilled at handling, but these two episodes took that to another level. First, we got “Miguel,” an immensely moving portrait of a character that never got the love he deserved from the fandom. I honestly believe Jack would be thrilled that his two best friends eventually ended up together. Miguel was there for Rebecca when she needed him the most and he was there was for her until his final days. And then there’s “The Train.” The fact that the show wasn’t nominated in multiple Emmy categories for this episode alone baffles me. Visually stunning, incredibly well written, and impeccably performed. Truly the sendoff Rebecca Pearson so richly deserved.

“Flipping the Pieces” (Only Murders in the Building 2x07)- It’s kind of hard to pick a favorite episode from OMITB season 2, but I think this one fits the bill. Mabel and Theo make a great duo, both comedically and dramatically! And I absolutely loved the metaphor of the puzzle pieces as it relates the repression of traumatic memories. The one thing I may have changed is the way Mabel kept talking at Theo even after he specifically told her he couldn’t pick up much of what she was saying just by reading her lips. But I get why the writers probably thought it was necessary and seeing her learn a little bit of ASL along the way was very sweet!

There you have it! Looking forward to another year of great TV!

#this is us #ghosts cbs #good trouble #raven's home #so you think you can dance #only murders in the building #reboot on hulu

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biglisbonnews · 2 years ago

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Quinn XCII Shares His M3F Festival Playlist At the end of January, Detroit's own Quinn XCII released his highly anticipated fifth studio album, The People's Champ. It seems like the pop-leaning genre-bender is running up a never-ending incline, collaborating with the likes of Big Sean and Chelsea Cutler, embarking on a North American tour in May with A R I Z O N A and Julia Wolf and becoming a festival staple across the country. Quinn also happens to be one of the headliners of Phoenix, Arizona festival mainstay M3F. Since its inception, charity has been at the core of the festival. Aside from providing entertainment with some of music's largest acts throughout its history from Kaytranada to ODESZA, the festival donates 100% of its proceeds, making it one of the most beloved non-profit festivals that takes advantage of the booming live music market for good. The festival has also announced its new M3F Fund, opening up funding to the public by offering an open application for other nonprofits or 501(c)(3) organizations, prioritizing funding related to community, education, arts and environment. This year's lineup features no shortage of heavy hitters. Alongside Quinn, Grammy-nominated vocalist Maggie Rogers, acclaimed producer Jamie xx, Compton house pioneer Channel Tres, Toro y Moi, Polo & Pan, Neil Frances and more will take the stage in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona from March 3 to 4. In anticipation of the exciting weekend, which PAPER will be gleefully participating in, Quinn has curated a special playlist that features a mix of old favorites and some hidden gems from fellow M3F performers. You can find out more information on the festival here. Keep scrolling to find some new music to take with you into the weekend.Novo Amor - "Haven"I recently heard this for the first time on tour in my hotel room in Australia. I nearly teared up from its simplicity. Such an easy listen!Chiiild - "Weightless"This one makes me feel something I can’t describe. It took two seconds of the intro to get me hooked. My friend Peter showed me this song — thanks, Peter.St. Paul & The Broken Bones - "Love Letter From A Red Roof Inn"I think this might be my favorite song on the playlist, such descriptive songwriting.Norah Jones - "Sunrise"Norah Jones has been an artist I’ve admired for years and I would love to work with her someday.Mulatu Astatke - "Tezeta (Nostalgia)"I found this song on TikTok. Someone suggested listening to Ethiopian funk music so I gave it a try and fell in love with this record.Mac Miller - "Wings"Mac Miller was one of my first concerts ever. I look up to him so much even after his passing. The way he progressed as a musician is something I strive to achieve everyday. The entire Swimming album got me out of a very lonely time on tour. Jim-E Stack feat. Bon Iver - "Jeanie"This one is bouncy and “aquatic” sounding (that’s the only way I can describe it lol). It always brings a smile to my face!Jack Johnson - "Posters"I think Jack is one of my favorite artists. I grew up listening to his music but “Posters” always remains the one song I come back to when I need a friendly musical hug.Allen Stone feat. Alessia Cara - "Bed I Made"The combination of Allen and Alessia’s voices on this song is immaculate. It has such a warm, comforting vibe. I love both of these artists so much.Leon Bridges - "Sho Nuff"I’ll listen to this when I need a pick me up on the road and to feel like I’m cool again lol. Leon Bridges never disappoints.You can view and listen to the completed playlist, curated by Quinn XCII, below.Photo courtesy of Sam Dameshek https://www.papermag.com/quinn-xcii-m3f-2659480865.html

#Quinn xcii #M3f fest #M3f festival #Jade Gomez#PAPER

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iwritemilfs · 2 years ago

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I proper slept in, but I'm now watching the new episode of TLOU, and as alwayssss THOUGHTS UNDER THE CUT (OBVIOUSLY SPOILERS)

THE JOKE BOOOOOK

god I just love how they add the game dialogue in a way that's so natural. it doesn't ever feel forced, but it's something the game fans immediately clock

LMAO NOT THE MAGAZINE. neil n craig rlly said "we know what the fans want"

a fun fact is, this is just what alberta looks like. I KID, I KID. dont come for me albertans.

"It actually smells kinda good" "that'd be frank's then" they're already dead joel, no need to fire shots like that

dw ellie, I stare down black coffee in the exact same way.

fucking CRYING AT HER REACTION TO THE COFFEE LMAO. I swearrrr Bella has the best delivery

Ellie's way better at reading maps than I've ever been. I would've gotten us lost so fast.

MORE SLIGHT TESS INFO?

"But I made a promise to Tess, and she was like family" brb cryin

the open mouth sleeping in the car. v relatable.

I know exactly what's about to happen, and I'm still like IM STRESSED

Their encounter with the hunters feels SO much like a game level, I love it.

daaamn I was not expecting ellie to shoot someone this early on

Ngl, I really appreciate seeing the hunters have some human moments. I hope they continue to do this with their enemy characters in the show, bc hopefully it'll lead the viewers to see Joel's actions through more of a critical lens, hopefully escaping some of that toxicity we saw from some fans when the second game was released. (disclaimer. I love joel sm, but something I appreciated seeing in TLOU2 was how we were reminded that he'd done shitty things, and that those things affected other people and had consequences)

Ok I LOVE how they changed Joel's reaction to Ellie having to shoot the guy. In the game, his reaction was moer fueled by anger, whereas here, he acknowledges that she's just a kid and she shouldn't have been in that position to begin with.

I love love love Ellie's excitement to have Joel's approval for the gun. ITS SO CUTE.

......JOEL IS FIFTY SIX? ok I def gotta update Tess' bio

SAM AND HENRY SAM AND HENRY SAM AND HENRY

okay overall thoughts: was this my favourite episode so far? Not necessarily, no. But I love seeing Joel opening up more, you can see the change just from the beginning to the end of the episode, and it's done really well. The last scene especially was really sweet, and I can't wait to see more of those moments. We got to know a liiiiil more about his backstory, which is cool, because in the game we don't necessarily know much beyond "yeah joel did some fucked up shit." and that's really the only info we ever get. Like I mentioned above, I also liked seeing the hunters have some human moments. Now listen, I'm the biggest joel miller apologist, but I'm also one of the people who really loved TLOU part 2. I hope we'll get to see the "bad guys" have more moments like that.

Also so fucking typical that the second I give tess a bio, we get more info that means I have to alter things slightly, and maybe even do some MATH.

#;;ooc #tlou spoilers

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caravelmp3 · 3 years ago

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UNDER THE CANYON MOON

pairing: josh kiszka x female!reader warning(s): mostly fluff, just brief mentions of alcohol and sex word(s): 2k note: hi hi hi !! this is just a little something i wrote up the last couple of days with the inspiration of light my love, canyon moon by harry styles, and the interview where josh talked about road-tripping the u.s. last summer <3 i don’t write one shots often but let me know what you all think bc i might shuffle some more out soon lol. hope you all enjoy !! :)

The Los Angeles sun was hot, beating down onto the city basking in its late-summer hues. You parked your car on the street in Silver Lake and carried a bag of food and drink tray to the door of a recording studio, more than prepared to be swarmed by hungry boys who had been cooped up in the studio since five a.m. on the dot that morning. They had a breakthrough the night before with a new song, and after getting home and going to bed for a few hours, the creative juices started flowing again and they were back in the booth.

A windchime on the door sang as you pulled the door open and walked inside, greeting their manager who was at a table by the door.

“The boys here?”

“Down the hall,” he nodded, pointing a finger in the direction of the hallway. “They’re more rowdy than usual so be prepared,”

You laughed and turned down the hall, walking towards the studio. The walls were decorated with memorabilia of rock and roll greats and record plaques, and among them, you spotted a picture of the four boys with their Grammy award. It seemed like time had passed so quickly. They won the award for the first album and they were already working on their third, shooting them further into stardom.

“Coffee’s here!” You shouted in a really bad New England accent when you noticed the recording light was flipped off above the door.

You stepped into the room to a chorus of cheers and “thank god you're here”’s that made you laugh while sitting the food and drinks down on the table and they all rushed over. You handed out the specific orders and pointed to which drinks was theirs when they got handsy and tried to grab everything from her out of both excitement and some desperation for caffeine.

“Our savior,” Jake said, reaching out and grabbing your shoulders to give them a gentle shake before taking the coffee you were holding out to him, and then you handed Danny’s to him, too.

“Just the coffee girl here,”

“Well, you’re a little bit more than that,” Josh said, walking over to the table to grab his full cup.

You pressed a hand against the table, leaning over to him. “Just a little?”

“A little bit,” he shot you a wink before swiftly pressing a kiss to your cheek.

You were more than just a “little more” than the coffee girl, you were typically their designated drunk driver, the one who took all of their candid photos, the mediator in times of need, and well, the girlfriend of the lead singer, too.

Everyone in the studio took their food and drinks and scattered among the seating area in a break from recording. Instead of one tiny room with all of them cramped together, they had a wide open space with booths for the different instruments and bean bag chairs and big comfy, velvet sofas, and there was dim lighting with deep toned rugs that gave off the vibe of a more relaxed feel rather than the fluorescent-light, tiled-floor feeling that made them feel rushed and confined by rules they didn’t set themselves.

You liked the studio, too, and often took naps on the sofa while listening to them play instruments individually in the recording booths and while they were writing. One night they had found you at two a.m., bundled up with a blanket on the bean bag chair after they spent the night writing in the front room on the piano, but it wasn’t the first time as you often napped in their Nashville recording offices, too.

“You guys been busy today?” You asked jokingly while lowering onto the sofa armrest, receiving nothing but glares shot in your direction. “Okay, okay, touchy subject,”

With a mouthful of bread, Sam pointed to Josh, “Josh finished a song, didn’t you?” He was grinning.

You hummed in joy and surprise, grabbing Josh’s knee as he sat next to you. “Really?”

It had been a rough few days for all of them as they tried to shuffle out a few more additions to the new album. It felt incomplete with something missing, but they couldn’t quite put their finger on what it was exactly, so they attempted to bring back and revamp old songs, write and record new ones, but nothing seemed to stick, until now.

“Yeah, wanted to wait and show you later, but someone can’t keep his trap shut.” Josh said, pretending to be serious before cracking a smile and taking a sip of his coffee. “Just wanted it to be a surprise,”

“Well it can still be a surprise, I’m surprised now,” you said. “Can I hear it? Or read what you got?”

Josh nodded and stood, grabbing your hand and pulling you with him. There was a little recording room fit with a piano inside, his writing journal placed on the music stand where he had scribbled notes and keys and melodies in pen. He picked it up and handed it to you.

“Nothing seemed to click until last night, when I started putting it together.” He said.

“Is that why you wouldn’t tell me what it was when you all got back to the house?”

Josh shrugged, pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. “Yeah, yeah, I wanted it to be special when you first heard it.”

You sat the coffee cup down onto the floor while lowering into the small chair in the corner, holding the journal like it was the most delicate piece of art in the world. In silence, while Josh watched on anxiously, you read the words he had splayed across the blank page.

Can you light my love? Flames glowing bright as the sun Deeper than oceans you run Watch as our world has begun

Your mind is a stream of colors Extending beyond our sky A land of infinite wonders A billion lightyears from here now

You felt your throat tighten, tears tempted your eyes.

It was a love song.

“Josh-”

“Oh god you hate it don’t you, you dread it, despise it,”

“Oh shut up, I’m in tears right now, you know I love it.” You looked up at him with a smile and a sniffle.

His words across the page were sloppy, some cursive, written in different pens of different colors, some lines crossed and scribbled out, others underlined.

“Your mind is something I will never fully understand.” You told him as he sat down on the chair next to you. “How the fuck did you come up with this-”

“I was thinking about our trip out here, the week we spent driving out and all of the stuff we did… and how I think I fell more in love with you.” His voice softened.

You reached out, placing your arm on his shoulder, fingers playing with his curls. “I can’t put it into words how much I love it, how much I love you,” you said, “and you make me sound so lovely when in reality I know I was a pain in the ass that entire trip.”

“Yeah, but my pain in the ass,” he kissed the inside of your arm.

Two weeks before the boys left Nashville to head to Los Angeles, Josh called you at midnight with an idea in mind – the two of you renting a camper to drive out to L.A., falling into all of the tourist traps along the way and stopping in random small towns to sleep while exploring the in between, which would definitely beat the boring four-hour flight. And you, half asleep and across the country, agreed.

It would be fun. Right?

And it was. Every time someone asked how it went, you called it “the most magical week of my life.”

While the others waited behind for their flights the next week, you and Josh set off from Nashville, heading west with only the destination in mind and a trusty map in hand. Everything else just came to you both.

The first stop was three hours in the trip, in Memphis. You and Josh roamed Graceland on Elvis Presley Boulevard and had lunch near Sun Studio before taking in the mementos and relics at the Blues Hall of Fame where Josh talked your ear off, rattling off more details about each band and singer than was on the info-cards on the wall.

Then it was two hours to Little Rock, falling asleep in the back of the camper after a take-out dinner outside of a random supermarket. Sitting in lawn chairs in the middle of a parking lot, you held Josh’s hand under a blanket and watched the pink sunrise over the hills, and then it was back on the road again.

From Oklahoma City to Amarillo, you fiddled with the map when Josh got lost after a wrong turn in a small town where he insisted on seeing the giant 66-foot LED soda bottle sculpture, and in the middle of northern Texas, he made it up to you by cooking your favorite dinner. You thanked him in a quiet whisper as you crawled into the bed with him that night, sliding under the covers where he greeted you with warm hands and kisses against your neck that made you squeal with the tickle of his mustache and he grinned against your lips.

Josh got to choose the music all the way through New Mexico – Neil Young and Crazy Horse to John Denver’s Thank God I’m A Country Boy, and you were only able to squeeze in Joan Baez every hour when you stopped to stretch your legs on the side of the road, belting the words to him while he laughed at your voice cracks.

And after you both pitched the tent in the Petrified Forest in Arizona, Josh hummed the tune to some new song while you two sat under the midnight stars in the canyon with a roaring fire, his arm around you, his sweatshirt draped over your shoulders. When he tried to start telling you a scary story after you heard a weird noise outside the tent, you blindly hit him in the dark and accidentally hit his nose, causing you both to burst into laughter after the initial panic left. He laughed loudly into your shoulder as you held his face in shock, catching the scent of your lavender lotion, and his body relaxed when the laughter died down, feeling so at peace in his life with you there.

It was the tail end of the trip, but the excitement hadn’t died down yet. After showers in the camper in the middle-of-nowhere-Arizona and five hours west, you and Josh found a bar outside of Las Vegas that resembled Coyote Ugly, so you both had a round of tequila sodas and margaritas before walking around the small town that evening and sleeping off the tipsy-headaches in the air conditioning. On top of the covers, you looked at Josh napping in the sunshine, cheeks flushed red, curls poofy from the wind, and you felt your heart grow in your chest before falling asleep next to him.

And then came Los Angeles, the final stop, the dreaded one. But you and Josh didn’t tell anyone that either of you were sad to be back with them in L.A. when they asked, and instead, you two smiled and hugged everyone after piling out of the camper in the drive-way of the Silver Lake house.

Cleaning out the camper, tossing cheesy novelty t-shirts at each other and laughing at how many socks you two managed to lose along the way and how many bug bites were added, watching the developed clips Josh had filmed of scenes in the desert and you asleep in the passenger seat, you both were nostalgic about a trip that just ended.

It was so easy, so freeing to just be together on the road, with only the destination in mind. It revealed a part of them that the other didn’t see often, like your tendencies to get your lefts and rights mixed up while giving directions, and Josh’s equally awful sense of direction didn’t exactly pair with the fact that he was a maniac while driving in the first place.

But those parts were just added to the long list of why you and him loved each other in the first place. So you became the designated driver after Amarillo and Josh stuck to telling you “left or right” for the rest of the time. It was a compromise, another reason why you two worked so well together.

It was a form of love in itself.

“We’ll have to drive all the way back to Nashville then, so you can write more songs about me.” You teased.

Josh rolled his eyes but cracked into a grin a second later. “Let’s not get too carried away,” but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t always mentally reliving the night under the canyon moon.

#gvf imagine #greta van fleet imagine #gvf #gvf one shot #greta van fleet one shot #gvf fanfic #greta van fleet fanfic #josh kiszka imagine #josh kiszka one shot #josh kiszka fanfic #greta van fleet

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sapphicnoel · 3 years ago

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anderperry week day 6: sick!fic or hurt/comfort

A/N: hello lovelies. welcome to day 6 of anderperry week! it just turned midnight of the 24th for me, but i wanted to post early in case tumblr decides to be a little bitch again. anyway, for today i bring you the 2nd option: hurt/comfort. so... beware of angst. there's a happy resolution, though, I promise. also: i nabbed a couple dialogue bits from here to jumpstart my writing process. enjoy, i'm quite proud of this one :D - xx, sam

‘I’m okay, Neil,” Todd repeats for the millionth time. It wouldn’t have gotten to this point if Neil would stop pestering him, but... Todd supposes the other shoe had to drop eventually. This is what he gets, honestly. “Stop lying to me!” Neil shouts after a long moment of silence, a new fierceness rising within him. “Stop telling me you’re okay. I know you, Todd! I know you’re looking right at me and lying. This isn’t like you. What’s wrong?”

Neil looks about as terrible as Todd feels, now. His eyes are wet with tears and his face… Man, Todd hopes he never has to see that sort of expression ever again. It strikes his very soul, chilling him to the bone. The hurt on the face of someone he loves so dearly does something to his fragile heart. It gets to all the parts of him that love Neil and the parts that wish he hadn’t spent the last half hour lying to his face. Todd sighs, barely beginning to accept such a mistake. He looks up at his boyfriend, their gazes meeting. Todd stares at his crushed expression for a minute, taking it all in. A tear rolls down Neil’s cheek, unbidden.

Oh, no, no, no. Fucking hell, Todd thinks as a sense of dread and desperation wash over him. He wishes he could take it all back and just tell Neil the fucking truth.

“Neil, please don’t cry,” He whispers. “I hate it when you cry.”

That part is true. Todd hates to see Neil cry, this handsome young man who’s smart and kind and so many things Todd hasn’t managed to be yet. His brown eyes are best seen under bright stage lights, not filled with tears in the dimness of a cheap floor lamp.

Neil, though, stays silent. The silence says so much; it’s clear how hurt he truly is.

You did that to him, Todd’s mind reminds him, you made Neil cry.

That’s when he finally shatters. Todd slumps forward with the weight of the emotion as he starts to cry, gross sobs wracking his thin frame. Neil is there to hold him up. He envelopes him in a warm, welcoming embrace. Neil’s always been there for him. From fights with his father to his older brother’s sudden illness. It makes the hurting that much worse. As if Todd didn’t feel bad enough about this whole thing. Damn.

“I’m sorry, Neil,” Todd sobs into his shoulder, “I’m sorry. I just didn’t want to, to be a b-burden. M-my dad called this morning to tell me that Jeffrey’s taken a turn for the worse. I didn’t want to say anything, because you just got that new role you were so excited for, and-”

“Hey. Everything’s gonna be alright, I promise,” Neil cuts off Todd’s rambling swiftly, but not unkindly. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, baby. I’ll wait for you here if you need to make the trip back home. Take as long as you need. I’ll always be here for you. You’re never a burden to me, okay? Never.”

Todd’s too stunned to stay anything in response, he sits there for a minute and processes Neil’s words. Even after six years together, Neil’s patience and devotion never waver. Todd often wonders what he must have done in a past life to deserve someone like him. In this life, though, Neil holds him through the onslaught of tears. And everything that comes after. Even as Todd stops crying and shaking, finally going still in his arms, Neil doesn’t let go. Todd’s never loved him like this. A rush of pure affection washed over him. The heater clicks on, but they stay right where they are, sitting on their bed. A faint bell-like noise grows louder, and Walt comes in to lay on the blanket at their feet. He curls into a ball and falls asleep; typical cat behavior.

Todd sniffles and says, his voice rough, “Thank you. A-and I understand why you were angry with me.”

He rests his head in the crook of Neil’s shoulder for a little while longer to prolong this tender touch. Neil’s hand runs over Todd’s back soothingly, drawing circles on the skin under Todd’s Welton Academy alumnus sweatshirt. It’s comforting in the midst of this emotional roller coaster. It reminds Todd of their first year away from home and living in New York. There were many fights and many more sleepless nights, but they got through it. Just like they’ll make it through this rough patch. Todd makes it a point to remember to call his mom later. It looks like he needs to get a plane ticket for Vermont. His hopes that his older brother would get better are all but dashed now. Neil’s voice jolts Todd back into this moment and out of his head.

“There’s no need to thank me, my darling,” Neil replies as gently as ever, “I love you. We don’t have to talk about anything if you don’t want to. But I’ll be here when you’re ready, okay?”

“Okay.”

Todd pulls away from him a little, then presses his lips to Neil’s. Neil smiles into it and kisses back just as fervently.

They part all too soon, the moment of complete closeness gone in a flash. Neil smiles softly and swipes away a tear from Todd’s cheek with his thumb. Todd blushes at the gesture, the skin warm.

“Neil?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you, too.”

Neil wraps his arms around Todd again and squeezes him by the middle. Todd hugs back, failing to keep the silly grin off his face.

Todd joins Neil on their living room couch that evening with a blanket splayed over them. Walt lays nearby, guarding the arm of the couch. The TV is playing some trashy Hallmark flick, but Todd isn’t watching. He’s staring at Neil, at the man he’s lucky enough to call his. He reaches out for one of Neil’s hands and grabs hold of it, lacing their fingers together. Todd rests his head on Neil’s shoulder, staring at the screen as he tries to figure out what’s going on. He fails miserably. Instead, Todd lets his thoughts wander elsewhere.

Maybe Neil’s right. He’s been wrong before, as humans so often are. But it certainly feels like everything will be alright after all. There’s much more to come, Todd’s well aware. But Neil makes it all feel worthwhile. The difficult parts of life suck far less when there is the assurance of his steadfast love for someone else, and Neil’s own utter fondness to match.

taglist :D @regina-della-poesia @maisietheweltoncow @aedan-mills

#anderperry week 2k21 #anderperry #anderperry fic #sam does things #my writing #my fic

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there-must-be-a-lock · 4 years ago

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Lou’s Favorite Things Challenge!

About a week ago I hit 3,500 followers, which is crazy. In five weeks (May 27th) I turn thirty, which is also crazy! So... party time.

I’m keeping it simple for this one.

I made a list of 35 things I like; it includes kinks, tropes, songs, quotes, episodes, pairings, and more.

Send me an ask to claim a Favorite Thing.

Write the Thing.

Keep it under 5k words.

Post by June 18.

That’s all, folks!

Prompts and more guidelines under the cut. I’m so excited to see what people do with these.

Please consider joining even if we haven’t talked much, or you’re new to tumblr, or whatever else; I promise I don’t bite, and I’d really like to get to know more of you!

Unusual ways to find out someone is in love with you: The Dumb Bet by @deaan

Unusual nickname origins

Accidental baby acquisition @wendibird

Accidental psychedelic drug consumption: Shrooms by @cookingglitterfairy

Accidental relationship/ “didn’t know they were dating” trope: Untitled by @alexsian

Music festivals: Have I Ever Told You...? by @thinkinghardhardlythinking

Thunderstorms @useless-fanfictions

Blanket forts @homoose

Communication as foreplay

Sex as character analysis: The Hero, The Myth, The Legend by @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior

Kink as therapy

“Maybe I’m not as straight as I thought” moments @fangirlextraordinaire

“Oh, shit, I’m in love with this idiot” moments @percywinchester27

“I hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me” moments: Different by @watermelonlipstick

Kink discovery/negotiation @calaofnoldor

Aftercare: Pillow Talk by @jillys-feral-fandoms

Sam Winchester and the demon blood arc

Spencer Reid and the Dilaudid arc

The End (SPN S05E04): Some Stranger’s Hand by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Dark Side of the Moon (SPN S05E16) @lastactiontricia

Sam Winchester/Spencer Reid: Pretty Boy by @writethelifeyouwant

Any and all Supernatural/Criminal Minds crossovers: The Family Business by @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad

Crack crossover pairings I never knew I needed

Alternate universes

Time travel

Body swap: Switched by @beskaradberoya

“Going To Georgia” - The Mountain Goats

“Sunflower Vol. 6” - Harry Styles: White Gold by @addictedtocoffeeandsupernatural

“This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody)” - Talking Heads @reidingdays

[Insert My Chemical Romance song/lyric/album/video here]

“It's never too late to have a happy childhood.” - Tom Robbins: Trainwreck by @msmarvelouswinchester

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been.” - Kurt Vonnegut

“What power would Hell have if those here imprisoned were not able to dream of Heaven?" - Neil Gaiman: La Raison Partie Trois by @wonder-cole

“And in that moment I swear we were infinite.” - Steven Chbosky: In That Moment by @fangirlxwritesx67

“On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.” - Hunter Thompson: Let’s Take A Ride by @waywardbaby

More info:

Tag me in your A/N. I’ll reblog every submission with feedback; if I don’t do this within 48 hours, send me a message to make sure I got the tag!

Warn appropriately and use a “keep reading” cut after 300 words.

Proofread, please? If you need a beta, get in touch and I’ll try to hook you up.

I like reading Supernatural, Criminal Minds, Marvel, Buffyverse, Lucifer, J2, and all sorts of wonky-ass crossovers! Really, I’ll read just about anything, but shoot me an ask if you’d like to write something that’s not on that list.

Ships and reader inserts are both welcome. Threesomes and moresomes: also great.

I will not read any pairing involving Lucifer -- the Supernatural version, at least; Tom Ellis is more than welcome to join the party. I’m also not really a fan of Ketch.

I will not read rape or incest.

I don’t like darkness or edginess for the sake of being dark or edgy; I do like reading about difficult subjects, as long as they’re written with honesty and not just used for shock value.

I’m not always good at reaching out and finding new authors? But I want to a) broaden my horizons and b) support other writers. So I genuinely mean it when I say that my ask box is always open for questions about fic or whatever else. I can’t promise I’ll have time to edit for you but I’m happy to help whenever I can! Like I said, I’d really like to get to know y’all better.

And now that that’s out of the way, send an ask to claim your prompt!

#lou's favorite things

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simonsrosebud · 4 years ago

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Alright — this is very important — what’s the wedding party look like? Do either of them get walked down the aisle? What do the bachelor parties look like? What’s the first dance like? The cake cutting? OR! Do they just elope?

Either way, the most important thing of all — what are their vows?

i’m going to warn you: i’m afraid this is going to be a very long post.

the wedding is in january, before playoffs have the chance to start up. it’s easier that way also, because most of their friends either play exy or coach it, so they’re all off too. and dalton’s professor friends are off for winter break.

that being said, they’re on a time crunch for bachelor parties. and since kevin doesn’t drink or anything, the idea of the “typical bachelor” party is out of question. kevin doesn’t care for a bachelor party for himself, anyway.

however, when andrew is added to a groupchat with the whole wedding party, he sends two texts. not to the group, but to allison. she’s the one handling it, anyway.

the first text is a link to elton john at madison square garden, the second is a text.

hamilton on broadway friday the 14th, concert 15th.

(ik the timelines don’t technically match up, but since this is all fictional who cares)

it’s perfect. allison checks with dalton to be sure, and he lights up. apparently kevin has gotten really into hamilton because duh it’s history, and elton john is one of his favorite artists, especially after dalton introduced him to “your song” in college.

dalton goes with him because they know kevin would want him there, unlike normal bachelor parties where you spend it without your fiancé.

as for dalton’s, he gets taken to florida (it’s only like a 5 hour drive i think but they could fly also) and his friends, who for the most part are straight besides emmie, a blazing proud lesbian, take him to gay bars on gay bars, and then go to star wars land in disney world for a day- kevin’s idea. dalton is very excited about this because in this ask dalton reveals he’s a star wars fan and says he’d like to go see it someday. they also get drunk in disney, don’t worry.

they both have good sized wedding parties. for dalton, it’s carmen, bella, and his best friends jenna, reid, and sam.

for kevin, it’s andrew, neil, and dan. if anyone asked kevin in college if he’d thought she would be in his wedding party- or even if they’d leave college being friends, he would have said no, but he was stupid to think the foxes would ever lose touch. if anything, he got closer.

he’s also gotten closer than he ever would have probably wished to allison. there’s something to be said for the both of them having good taste. all it took was one trip of clothes shopping for a banquet for them to realize they’d had a lot more in common.

the only reason they never realized it was because they’ve both got the same level of stubbornness.

which is why she somehow ends up being asked to be in his wedding party, too.

kevin isn’t worried about asking neil. a little about andrew, but he can always get neil to talk him into it. he stops them both from leaving after practice, one day. “will you be my groomsmen? both of you?”

neil really doesn’t look surprised. not even phased. he’d been matt’s best man, after all. “yeah, sure.”

kevin looks to andrew, who hasn’t moved a muscle.

when he does, it’s to swing his bag around his shoulder. "no speeches.” and before he gets to the door. “and no one’s wrapping their arm around mine down the aisle.” and that’s more than okay with kevin. he doesn’t really want them speaking, anyway.

and then there’s dan and allison. he isn’t worried about them, so all he does is text them and they agree.

there’s no more than 70 people there. the actual ceremony only about 30. it’s not big by any means, but they didn’t want it big anyway. plus, kevin doesn’t have a whole group of family to invite like dalton does in the first place. he doesn’t mind, though, because he’s grown to consider dalton’s family his own.

kevin doesn’t get walked down the aisle. he never saw himself doing that with a woman before he realized he was bi and could potentially marry a man, so he’s never cared for it.

wymack, however, officiates the wedding. he’s very proud of it, too. he never seems to show nerves, and he doesn’t let kevin know, but this is something that causes him great stress. he can’t fuck it up.

he doesn’t, of course.

he’s standing beside kevin when dalton gets walked down the aisle by his mother, and kevin told himself he wouldn’t get emotional.

he lets out a breath and a soft laugh, then looks up at the ceiling to blink away the sudden wetness in his eyes.

when anne hands him off, she kisses kevin on the cheek and whispers. “all yours now, love.”

kevin wants to kiss dalton so bad. so so bad. but he has to wait. instead he gives him a wink and takes his hands. he expects them to be a tiny bit sweaty like they sometimes are when he gets nervous, but they’re not. dalton’s grip is firm, and the only thing kevin can see on him is glee.

kevin feels he barely can pay attention to the words his father is saying until it’s time for the vows. he’s first. he takes a deep breath.pays attention to what his father is saying, too busy staring at his fiancé. until they get to the vows, that is.

kevin is first, and his heart has never beat this fast. he memorized his vows, but just in case, he unfolds the paper from his pocket and takes the microphone. “i’ve made plenty of bad decisions in my life. going to the club the night before a game, trying to fix the kitchen sink by myself.” he smiles when dalton laughs at the memory. “d, i knew from the moment i told you about my demons and you stayed, that choosing you was the best decision i’ve made in my entire life. your are the strength i didn't know i needed, and the joy that i didn't know i lacked.” dalton mouths i love you. “thank you, for supporting and loving me unconditionally, i know i haven’t always made it easy.”

dalton gives the slightest shake of his head at that one. loving kevin comes as easy as breathing.

“thank you for showing me how to accept myself, and showing me what it’s like to find peace, to know what it’s like to feel wanted and loved. thank you for helping me to better myself as a man and a partner. you make me a better person in every single way, and i promise to put it all to use and give back every single day of our lives. i promise to love you through every hardship, to love you for who you are and who you are yet to become. i promise to support and help you in every new adventure, and to always be at your side. i promise to be patient and loyal. i promise to remember to show you every day how deeply i care for you. i promise to share my whole heart with you, to love you fiercely— for the rest of my life. as long as you’ll have me.”

dalton blinks away tears, and after taking a moment, he accepts the microphone. "kev,” he whispers, and takes a breath. kevin knows he has his written down, but he doesn’t take it out. he doesn’t need it. “i used to think that i just got lucky that some random hot kid asked me for help with his homework.” kevin grins.

“but i’ve realized now that the universe put you in front of me for a reason. you have filled my life with happiness and have given me a sense of peace that i’ve never known. you are my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the best co-pilot in life that i could’ve ever wished for.” he smiles. “today marks the start to the rest of our lives, whether we’re ready or not. i will not take our time together for granted. and because words can’t do it, i promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much i love you. i promise to encourage you to follow your dreams. to support you through any of life’s obstacles. i promise to make you laugh when you’re taking yourself too seriously. i promise to hold your hand through the good and the bad, to keep you afloat when you feel you’re drowning. i promise to share the weight on your shoulders like it’s my own.”

a tear drops from kevin’s eye, and dalton reaches to gently wipe it with his thumb before grabbing his hand. “i promise to never stop making up my own lyrics to songs i don’t know. although, i know you wish i would. i promise to look back on our lives when we’re old and gray and have no regrets. i promise, from this day forward, kevin day, that you will never walk alone.” he lowers the microphone, whispering. “as long as you’ll have me.”

it’s a very emotional ceremony, that’s for sure, but they’re grinning by the time the rings go on, and dalton barely holds back from jumping kevin before he can say, “you may now kiss.”

kevin has his arms around dalton’s waist and dalton’s hands on his cheek and the back of his neck, and they’re both smiling into the kiss less than two seconds in. but kevin doesn’t care. dalton’s laugh is the best thing he’s ever heard and he relishes in it as he crushes him in a hug before tearing back down the aisle.

their first dance is to “your song” by elton john. is it probably overused? sure, but kevin isn’t into music enough to know or care about that. it’s the song that

it’s always been dalton’s go to song to sing in the car, and whenever he does he tends to just kind of grab onto kevin’s hand while he sings. he’s no harry styles but he can hold a tune just fine.

it then turned into a song kevin listened to on bus or plane rides, and when he entered the pros dalton started sending him voice memos on text of him singing like two lines from the song before his every flight.

kevin also played it in the car back to the cabin after he proposed.

it’s their song.

dalton pulls kevin to him for the first dance, with one hand holding kevin’s and the other pressed against the small of his back. and dalton’s singing along just loud enough for kevin to hear. it makes him smile at his dork of a husband, and halfway through the song kevin lays his head on dalton’s shoulder and slides his arms around his neck. he closes his eyes and ever so quietly sings along.

dalton kisses the side of his head and wraps his arms around kevin’s waist.

when the song is coming to an end, dalton kisses kevin and smiles as he sings the last lines to him. “how wonderful life is while you’re in the world”

kevin smiles. “sweetheart,” he whispers.

but then the song ends, and kevin leans back against their table as dalton takes the floor with anne for the mother son dance. he sends a thought up to kayleigh.

“i’m incredibly proud of you.” it’s abby at his side, sliding her arm around his waist. she kisses his cheek. “i know you know this already, that you foxes are family to us. but... you have always been like a son to me. and you always will, even if not by blood.”

kevin is looking at his feet, but eventually he meets her gaze. “you’re the closest thing i’ve ever had to a mother.” he squeezes her hand, and, “do you want to do the dance with me?” he doesn’t know how he hadn’t thought of it before.

abby’s a little teary, but nods.

dan rests her head on wymack’s shoulder. “he’s done good.”

wymack nods. he doesn’t respond, because he’s got… something… stuck in his throat. not emotions, definitely not emotions.

kevin smears cake all over dalton’s lips when they cut the cake, and in return he presses a messy kiss to his cheek. it’s sickenly sweet. the whole thing is, especially compared to the kevin day that some people know, and the one they see on television.

i can’t think of other things i may have missed, but please please let me know if there is anything else you guys want more insight on, or prompts regarding these!

oh yeah, kevin throws one of the bridesmaids little bouquets as a joke.

and carmen catches it.

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