#was Andraste divine? was she a dwarf? was the maker a titan??

[theanimangagirl]

I am trying to reignite my Dragon Age fanfic streak, currently I have 2 stories cooking ton that front, my 'main' story and an AU/canon divergence from my main. So I was just writting the old fashion way, with purple pen and all and welll, I am a danger cuz after sampling for two pages I decided to dra a family tree...

Tbh it needs some expansions and a clean up but here it is 😅

[ass-sass-sin-archived-blog]

11

Codex Prompts

11.  Your OC’s description of their game’s events

Several sheets of parchment are found stuffed in Talon’s old desk, folded and starting to yellow with age.  The writing is hurried, as though the author were trying to get the words down on the page before they could escape, even more so as it went on.  Spelling mistakes litter the pages, dated 9:65 Dragon.  (Under cut for length.)

Look.  I ain’t no story teller.  That’s Varric’s job.  But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this shit, is that history gets rewritten to suit whoever damn well wants to be in charge.  Or just conveniently forgotten entirely.  I ain’t stupid, and everyone knew from the beginning that if that damn dwarf ever wrote a book on this shit, no one’s gonna believe it.  I don’t care if no one reads this, or if you use it for fire kindling, but at least it’s out and written down.  That is what matters.  Maybe then I can process it.  It feels like a lifetime ago and I guess in a way it is.

I woke up a prisoner, swords pointed at me, and with a killer headache.  Kinda figured I got wasted and fucked up big time, which really wouldn’t have surprised me none.  Nah, that ain’t it though.  There were peace talks going on at the Conclave, Temple of Sacred Ashes.  Mages and Templars trying to sort out their differences and stop the fucking war between them that caught up the rest of Southern Thedas in it.  Turns out the entire thing went up in flames (figuratively I think, literally, it was an explosion) and that caused this giant hole in the sky that shat out demons everywhere.  Tore a hole in the Veil.  I wound up with this fucking glowing green mark on my hand (later we called it the Mark or the Anchor, why the Anchor, fuck if I know) and turns out that (surprise) this weird magicky shit can fix things.

Didn’t know that off the bat though.  First day I was awake Cassandra took me to show me what happened, ended up meeting Solas and Varric along the way.  Solas “had a feeling” the Mark could close the rift we were dealing with (Oh yeah, there were OTHER smaller holes in the sky that were also shitting demons everywhere, real fun time let me tell you- not) which surprise, it could.  (Explanation later.)  Also important note the Mark was trying to kill me because ~magic~.

Decide “oh, let’s use that to seal the Maker’s asshole (the Breach) that’s currently shitting demons everywhere even though you just woke up” which amazingly worked.  Woke up, apparently in three days I went from being blamed for the Divine’s death (ok so just because I’ve killed a lot of people even prior to this doesn’t mean she was on my hit list, rude fucks) to being named the fucking Herald of Andraste.  My name’s not Harold, it’s Talon.  Which was bullshit and I knew it even then, but nooooo religious fanatics have decided that THAT was who pulled my dumb ass out of the Fade.  Alrighty.

Cassandra Pentaghast and Leliana (later Divine Victoria) start the Inquisition again.  I think they’re both insane, because they kept asking my help to run shit.

Anyways, there’s this issue with the mages rebelling against the Circles and the Templars basically had gone rogue.  We needed help properly sealing the Maker’s asshole (because apparently the first time was only a temporary fix?) and oh yeah we were declared heretics by the Chantry.  Apparently they only do that to organizations and not individuals, because I’m surprised they took so long declaring me one.  Whatever. 

Asked the mages for help.  Decided to power up the Mark and see what happened.  Little catch though, turns out that Venatori (Vint cultists) “took in” the rebel mages.  Long story short there, head Venatori dude threw me and Dorian Pavus (really awesome guy) a year forward into time, we got back to regular time, and kicked his ass and sealed the Breach.  Don’t ask details, I don’t fucking know.  I’m no mage.

Apparently that pissed off the darkspawn wanna be god named Corypheus who was the mastermind behind the Conclave explosion (if you could call him a mastermind).  He and the Templars and Venatori attacked Haven and caught us by surprise, the others got out while I dumped a mountain of snow on them, apparently everyone thought I died.  Surprise motherfuckers, I didn’t.

Find Skyhold because Solas used his super elfy senses to find the place (for real though, Skyhold’s a pretty great place, well defendable and it’s a fucking castle), set up base camp there and get ourselves situated.  Save Crestwood from undead (almost as bad as darkspawn I’m telling you), meet more awesome people, blah blah blah, Inquisitor to the rescue again.  Oh yeah, I got named Inquisitor, that was not fun.  You’d have thought we talked about that before, but nah man.  Guess not.  “Surprise, you have two titles and no last name, congrats” ok then.

Met Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall.  Awesome guy, great drinking buddy.  Wardens are disappearing, followed that trail to Adamant Fortress.  Turns out Corypheus was manipulating the Calling and freaking them all out and somehow that translated into “let’s make a demon army with blood magic”.  And I thought I made bad decisions.  Kicked ass, stopped the ritual, fell into the Fade.  Again.

Going into the Fade isn’t fun, don’t do it.  0/10, would not recommend.  Find out the old Divine, Divine Justinia saved me not Andraste (surprise everyone, I was right it wasn’t Andraste) and the Wardens were using her as a sacrifice or something so Corypheus could enter the Black City and claim godhood.  Dude’s seriously delusional.  Warden Stroud stayed behind to hold off the demons letting us escape at the end of it all.  

Other note, formalities suck ass, parties more, and Orlesians the most.  Usually Josephine Montilyet is the one who dealt with that shit (especially after I told someone apparently important to go fuck a nug) but no, gotta have the Inquisitor at the parties.  Oh yeah, Orlais was also in a civil war because Gaspard wanted Celene’s throne.  Slimy bastard.  Anyways turns out there was an assassin in the group ready to dispose of Celene, turned out that assassin was Florienne her cousin.  Fun shit, seriously.  Assassins, that I can do.

Blah blah blah, sealing rifts, going dragon hunting, helping the little people and flipping off nobles, same shit different day.  Good times, kinda.

Elfy things.  Always with the fucking elfy things.  I like elves more than the next guy probably, but damn.  So much elf shit to sort through.  Turns out Fuckface Mcgee (that’s Corypheus, keep up) is wanting some shit at an old elfy place.  Alright, cool.  Wind up in the Arbor Wilds, searching for the Temple of Mythal.  Also something something red lyrium is bad shit, don’t do it.  Anyways, wind up there, run into some old ass elves.  Kick ass together, had to drink the Well of Sorrows or Corypheus gets his hands on it.  Apparently this holds a shit ton of old elven knowledge collected over the years and drinking binds you to their god Mythal who’s seen as a protector.  I wasn’t touching that shit thanks, pushed Morrigan in since she was so eager.

Not entirely sure what all Morrigan learned, not sure I wanna know honestly.  Anyways she learned how to turn into a dragon and is now bound to her mother (Who’s kinda Mythal?  Don’t ask I don’t really know.).  I want to be a dragon damnit.  

Get dragged back down south to the Frostback Basin.  Apparently the last Inquisitor’s last known location was there and we get to go searching for him.  It seemed like it could be useful and fun.  It wasn’t fun.  Meet friendly Avvar who were really nice, allied with them, turns out there’s this fortress with a gate encased in impenetrable ice.  Still wondering how they got supplies in and out of there really, never did sort that out.  Took care of that with some really awesome ancient Tevene tech that I wanna poke at more, and apparently Inquisitor Ameridan is 

1.  An elf2.  Had set out to slay Hakkon.

Guess what Hakkon is.  A god.  Specifically, a dragon-god.  Got the whole “by the way, I barely was able to contain him with my magic you can do the honors because I was too weak have fun” speech before Ameridan died.  Did that.  Went to the Deep Roads.

The Deep Roads fucking SUCK.  I am from Ferelden, I lived there through the Blight, my hometown was destroyed during it, I’ve seen more than my share of fucking darkspawn by the time I was 10.  No thanks.  Met Shaper Valta who’s really smart and the Legion of the Dead, we kept going deeper and deeper into the Deep Roads dealing with darkspawn.  Yuck.  Turns out the earthquakes jeopardizing the lyrium mines (which is why we were called, to secure this) was being caused by a Titan.  Who woke up or whatever it is they do.  Surprise, lyirum is Titan blood and this thing’s attacking us and shit and gotta kill it.  Alrighty.  Did that.

Kicked Corypheus’s ass.  Soundly.  We’ve defeated an actual god and not a raving lunatic, a Titan, and a shit ton of dragons.  This shit was in a bag.  Problem solved.  Except not.

Fast forward 2 years, no one’s happy with us.  Ferelden wants us disbanded, Orlais wants us to be “honor guard of the Divine” who ended up being our old spymaster Leliana.  Told them to go fuck themselves.  Uncover a Qunari plot to blow up the whole Winter Palace, deal with that and another dragon.  Run into Solas who disappeared after the battle with Corypheus.  Turns out he gave the orb to him because ~reasons~, elven gods are all assholes, and oh yeah got to go into the Crossroads (which is like a really weird world between worlds?) and yeah.  Solas is also apparently the elven god Fen’harel.  Surprise.  Lost my arm because the mark was trying to murder my ass again, and from what I’ve been told I stormed into the Exalted Council, threw the book at the Orlesian rep’s face (with surprising accuracy considering how wasted I was) and told them I’m disbanding the Inquisition and they can all go fuck themselves.

Best drunk decision ever.

And that’s the jist of what happened with the Inquisition.