#warning this is 6 pages on google docs

[maximwtf]

as a junho lover i am BEGGING you to please release the fic you had 😭😭😭😭

Hwang Jun-Ho x detective! Reader

Words: 3970

google docs pages: 6

Warnings: Platonic relationship mostly, but squint and it’s not. Squid Game season 1 spoilers, violence, guns, choking, character death but not major. 

Opening: You and Jun-ho are colleagues and your shift tonight would only consist of being on patrol. This leads to a lot of talking as per usual, before you spot something suspicious.

AN// G/N reader. A lot of you wanted me to post this ancient piece of media back up, so your wish is my command. This was actually fun for me to read as well. This was last posted in 2021 and soon after deleted, no memory of why I did that :”D. But I hope yall will still enjoy this s1 inspired fic ! And before anyone asks, I won't write a pt 2 for this, since I don't remember where I was taking this story initially;(

“I know you miss him.”

You were walking behind Jun-ho towards his car. Tonight's shift would be just you and him on patrol. There was nothing surprising with that, since he was your partner and you had gotten to know him pretty well over the years. But the problem was that you hadn’t slept well last night, and you had forgotten to bring your lunch while in a hurry this morning. So this meant that you'd either have to be without food the whole night or beg for Jun-ho to stop for a moment before the stores closed.

You watched how Jun-ho unlocked the doors of the car. The front lights lit up for a second, Indicating the doors had opened. He stepped into the driver's seat and sat down. You soon followed and sat down on the seat next to him. Nothing out of the ordinary, another normal shift. 

The car was almost fully white, with two stripes going on both of the sides. The smaller stripe was yellow and on top of that was a larger stripe in blue. Under the stripes was text that said ‘Police’. On the roof of the car, there were the usual police red and blue lights but also a bigger light for searching in the dark. The seats were fully black, like most of the car was on the inside.

Jun-ho started the car, and slowly drove away from the police office. The sun had gone down a little bit ago, and slowly but surely the street lights had turned on. It had rained earlier that day, so the streets were a little wet still. The car had no lights on inside, only the lights on the control board were illuminating a soft light against whatever it managed to touch. The street lamps passing by allowing some more light to come in every once in a while. This was exactly what you were used to, since the two of you had been on night patrol a lot recently.

You sat in silence as Jun-ho drove through the familiar streets. Watching the yellowish lights as they passed you, one by one. Your gaze wandered off to Jun-ho. You couldn’t tell how he was feeling, since he was only looking at the road with no defined expression on his face. He had told you on your last shift that he hadn’t seen his brother in a while, but you weren’t sure if he had been found already or not. Not sure if it was appropriate to ask about it again, seeing as it might have been a sensitive topic. But if Jun-ho was feeling out of it, you weren’t sure if he should be working a night shift.

“Hey, could we stop by a store? I forgot my ‘lunch’, and I don't want to pull an all-nighter without anything to eat.” You requested with a hint of embarrassment in your voice. But it was either this or having to suffer through the night with no food. Either way, this was maybe the best way to start a conversation, to see how  your partner was doing. Jun-ho turned his gaze at you for a little bit before he replied. “Sure, just make it quick.” He said with a nod. 

Soon the car pulled up near a store and you left to grab something to eat. Knowing that you didn't have a lot of time, you just took the nearest thing that happened to be some sort of a salad. You grabbed the nearest energy drink just to be sure the night would pass smoothly, and went to pay. As you were walking back to the car, you saw Jun-ho writing something on his phone. Not thinking much of it, and seating yourself back down next to him. “Sorry for this. I’ll try to wake up earlier next time.” You apologized, while placing the food on the back seat. “It’s okay. You didn’t waste much time.” He hummed as a reply, and started the car again. The small walkie talkie that he had connected to his belt was making noise. The other officers that were on the same shift seemed to be actively talking right now. This didn’t worry you yet, since they would have contacted you two if something was going on nearby.

After a while of going around the part of the town you were supposed to patro, you reached back to get the energy drink. Staying up late last night had started to turn against you, starting to feel awfully worn out by now. Your eyes were looking at the almost empty streets, as you lifted the can up to your lips. 

Your gaze detected movement on the road, and soon seeing a dog crossing the street. Jun-ho didn’t seem to be bothered by it, continuing on. Panicking for a moment when the realisation hit you that he must have not seen the damn thing. You quickly put the can on the cup holder. “Stop, there’s a dog!” You exclaimed to Jun-ho. His eyes widened and he pressed down the brakes. The car stopped just in time, and the dog crossed the road quickly, with its tail in between its legs. Your body almost hit the dashboard, but thankfully your seat belt held you in place. You were both staring at the road with widened eyes. All you could hear was heavy breathing that was coming from the both of you. 

You slowly leaned back and rested your body on the seat. “Pull the car on the side of the road.” You demanded quietly, voice firm. Jun-ho did as you requested, and parked the car on the side. “How did you not see the dog?” You asked in a much calmer voice, body seemingly still in some form of shock. You didn’t want to be mean to him, since it could have just been a mistake on his part. “I was in my thoughts. I’m sorry for putting you in danger.” Jun-ho sighed, with his gaze avoiding you. “Now, you look at me and tell me what is going on. You seem totally out of it?” You huffed and tilted your head in confusion. It took him a while, but he turned to look at you again. “And now the second part. Are you doing okay?” You asked the question in a different way so he couldn’t avoid the topic. “I’m doing just fine. I’m just a little tired, that’s all. I promise.” Jun-ho tried to convince you.

He turned away to start the car again, but you had other plans. “Have they found your brother yet?” You asked with a more monotone voice. Trying to dig a little deeper this time. Straight after saying this, Jun-ho stopped completely for a brief moment. “He’s…still missing.” The man admitted quietly while looking at the windshield. He leaned back on the seat like you had done and closed his eyes. You furrowed your brows in worry. Before you were able to reply, he continued. “I have reported him as missing already, but they can’t seem to find him. I have some evidence of..something but nothing that would actually help.” He pressed his palms against the steering wheel firmly, eyes opening again.

You looked at him with a freshly formed frown on your face. “What's the evidence you’ve found so far?” You asked, interested in the topic because you wanted to help him. “A card with a circle, triangle and a square on it. My brother had one in his room and I recently saw another man have a similar card. They’re related but I don’t know how.” Jun-ho replied, and turned his gaze back to you with sorrow behind his eyes. “Well, have you talked to the man yet? Maybe he knows what’s going on?” You tilted your head. “I tried to, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to tell me anything..” The man sighed again, but this time with more frustration. “I know you miss him, but you can’t give up. Did you see what was written on the card?” You patted his shoulder, an attempt to wipe the saddened look off of his face. “There was only a number on the back, nothing more.” He explained, not much to go off of. “We need a little more evidence to really start looking into this, but I can try to help you. I’m sure we can find him.”  You tried to smile a little and offered a hug to him. Jun-ho looked at you for a moment and accepted the offer.

After you had pulled back from the hug, the walkie talkie started to make noise again. Jun-ho answered it quickly. The person talking to Jun-ho told him to switch cars to a civil one, because they had spotted something going on near you two. Jun-ho ended the call, and started the car again. “Seems like we’ve got a case on our hands.” He hummed, and pulled the car back on the road. Like nothing had happened.

At this hour it was fully dark. Only the street lights, signs and the lights from the car broke veil the darkness. There were only a few people walking on the streets, most likely coming from a bar. 

Before you knew it, you had arrived all the way back to the police office. You could barely see the whole building in the dark, the city having not invested a whole lot on the building. Jun-ho took the keys from the car and stepped out. You took your items and followed him, hurrying to the side of the car he was standing by. He led you to a fully black car, around the corner from the office. “Let’s be quick.” He stated quietly and opened the door to the passenger seat. You smiled at him kindly, and stepped in. He soon sat down on the driver's side and pulled the car onto the road. “Where are we going?” You asked while putting on your seat belt. “Here.” Jun-ho said as he was typing the location on the navigator. You didn’t recognize the street’s name, but you decided to not ask where it was located. You’d see soon enough. “Did they tell you what was going on there?” You asked for more information, hoping that Jun-ho didn’t mind. “Someone who we have been looking for has been reported to be in that area. We were called to check if he’s still there.” Jun-ho quickly explained while driving faster. You two didn’t have time to lose, since the man could get away any moment. 

The navigator kept giving directions, and Jun-ho was following them. You seemed to be getting closer by the second. But suddenly Jun-ho slowed down the whole car. “What are you doing?” You questioned your partner. But what you didn’t know was that he had seen something far more important to him than the person you two had been called to look for. “That’s him. That’s the man that had the same card as my brother.” Jun-ho said quietly before he started to back up the car. He backed in the shadows and turned off the lights from the car. “I might get fired for this, but I'll make sure that you’ll be fine.” The man murmured, as his eyes were following Gi-hun get picked up by a big van. “Wait- Are you trying to tell me that you’ll disobey the request to find the man the office has been looking for just to follow him? What if we end up in danger? There’s no backup.” Your heart beat got faster the more you thought about this. This didn’t seem like the worst case scenario was going to be fired, but something way worse. “This might be my only chance to get to know where my brother is. I’m not letting this go.” He replied with confidence in his voice.

As much as you appreciated and trusted this man, you weren’t sure if you should tell him no. And even if you did, would he even listen at this point. Before you had time to say anything against his plan, the van started to drive away. Jun-ho started to slowly shadow it. He had turned off all the lights from the car, and he wasn’t using the headlights either. You had never been in a situation like this, but there was no getting out of this now.

“Do you have a phone?” Jun-ho asked with a more serious tone. “Y-yes, why?” You asked but still showed him your phone. It was almost fully charged, only a few percents missing. “Good. Just in case we get separated.” He nodded and kept following the van. “So are you saying we might? We’re not getting out of this car are we?” You asked in a panicked voice. “You don’t have to. But I want to know what’s going on. They’re clearly going somewhere and my brother has to be somewhere with them.” Jun-ho spoke, attention clearly keen on the van. 

Soon the van stopped. The navigator showed that you were close to a port. Suddenly you were able to see multiple of the same kind of van going the same way. They all turned and started to drive towards a cargo ship. There was a lot of space for all the vans and some people with red clothing showing where the vans should be parked. Seemingly a well orchestrated operation, whatever this was.

Jun-ho stopped the car and parked it so that it wouldn’t be too easy to see. “Now. You stay here, and I’ll call you in a little bit once I have found out what's going on here.” Jun-ho started to undo his seat belt and get out. “Wait- We don’t even know who these people are, and we don’t have any backup. What if they come and ask what I’m doing here?” You started to get restless. “Just..” Jun-ho had to think about this for a moment. “Tell them you’re waiting for your boyfriend.” He finally said and closed the door. Your eyes widened for a moment but before you could form any words, he was gone. 

There were more lights near the port, so it was easy to see all the grey vans enter the ship. There were huge yellow towers built to hover on top of the bridge that led to the ship that had multiple bright lights showing the way to the drivers of the vans. There didn’t seem to be anyone else but more of the people with the red suits. The situation unfolding before your eyes, seemingly sketchier by the minute.

It was hard to see, but you could make out where Jun-ho was standing. He took out his phone and started to type something. You started to look even more worried. Now wasn’t the best time to start looking at your phone. The worry caused your hand to start wandering closer to the door handle. Your eyes were still focused on him, and you saw when he switched the phone to a gun. Only hoping it was loaded full, but it wasn’t safe anyway to go on a mission like this with only one gun anyway.

As your hand started to open the door, Jun-ho ran from the place he was hiding in. From what you could see he had hidden behind one of the vans. “Damn it..” You cussed under your breath and got out of the car. After making sure that there was no one around, you ran towards another van, and copied what he did. You got on your back and quickly got under the van. Quickly finding something to hold on to and lift your body up from the ground.

Soon after doing this the vans started to all move in the cargo ship. There was some talking  you could hear, and after that the ship left the port. You had no idea where the two of you were going, but you had to follow your partner. You would never forgive yourself if he never came back from this mission that no one even had an idea you two were on. Knowing no one would believe you if you told them Jun-ho had disappeared just like his brother.

The vans you had gotten under were neatly parked next to each other, near the back of the ship. You saw him shift and then get up, still staying behind the van. You took a quiet deep breath and followed his lead. “Hey.” You whispered quietly, so that no one would hear you. With a quick movement he was pointing his gun at you, before he realised who it was. “What are you doing?! I told you to stay in the car?” He whispered back with tension in his voice. “And I’d go to the office alone, to explain to the boss where you had disappeared? As if they’d believe me.” You murmured back. He then quickly switched to your side. “Do you have your gun?” He whispered close to your ear. You shivered slightly at this, placing your hand over the firearm. “I do, it’s full,”  you whispered back. He only nodded at you and went to peek over the edge of the van. While he was doing that someone started to talk through a microphone. “Check the players,” echoed through the ship. With this the side doors of the vans opened by themselves. 

“Get in.” Jun-ho whispered quickly before he stepped in one of the vans. Without another thought you stepped in the van that Jun-ho had been under, ready to follow his lead. Knowing by now how sensitive this situation was. One wrong move, and you’d truly see what these men dressed in red were truly up to.

Your eyes scanned the people sitting in the van. You couldn’t see too well, no lights on in the vans. But no matter how well you looked, you couldn’t see anyone that even slightly looked like Jun-ho’s brother. Before you knew it, you heard the drivers of the cars step out. Your eyes widened. The only thing you could think of was to pretend to be one of the people in the van. 

You sat down on one of the seats at the back, and pretended to sleep. You were able to open one of your eyes slightly, trying to stay up to date on what was happening. You saw a masked person with a full red suit and a black mask with a white circle on it. They were scanning the other people in the van by checking something from behind their ears. You had no idea what Jun-ho was going to do, but as the suited person started to come closer to you. Knowing you didn’t have whatever the others had gotten placed behind their ears, you prepared to attack the suited man. 

 They tested one of your ears and then turned your head to test your other ear. Not being able to find the chip they were looking for. You opened your eyes and quickly attacked them. You hit the mask so that the person fell backwards, buying yourself some time. While they were trying to get up, you moved behind them. The person tried to stab you with a black knife, but you dodged it. You took a hold of their wrist and repeatedly hit it against the seats of the van, until they let go of the knife.  With that you hit their head with your knee and began to choke them. Trying to make as little noise as possible as to not alert any of their companions.

The van moved a little as the person struggled until they started to go limp. You let go of the pink suited person, and took a deep breath. Your heart beat was going crazy at this point, and your hands were shaking. Not once during your time as a detective had you had to fight like this for your life. The idea of you two being alone on this mission, and not even knowing if Jun-ho was alive scared you. 

You knew that you didn’t have a lot of time, so you began to strip the pink suit off the person. It was better to hide in plain sight, especially if they were all dressed the same. You took off the mask as well and dressed up. You had no clue what the job of this person was, other than checking the players and driving the van, but maybe you’d be able to just follow the others. After getting the suit on, you took your tag that showed who you were off, and placed it in the pocket of the person that was now wearing your clothes. 

After that you lifted up the body of the person, attempting to drag them outside the van. Not being used to doing something like this made it hard to lift up a whole body alone. While struggling you wobbled to the edge of the ship, and dropped the body in water. After this you turned around to see where you were supposed to go, you saw another pink suited person. They heard you and turned around. You froze up, not really having a plan to go off of. You felt a tap on your shoulder. “I saw what you did.” A man’s voice said. You could tell it was Jun-ho’s, since it was more muffled due to the mask. But you took the gamble. “You did the same,” You mumbled back. The other masked person made no move to harm you, confirming you’d been correct.

“Hey, you two!” You both turned to look at who was talking to you. There was a person in a pink suit, but this one had a triangle on the mask and a gun. Behind them there was another pink suited person. Only, they had a square on their mask and no gun in hand. You were too stressed out to say anything, and you assumed Jun-ho could sense this since he started to talk. “This is...They were feeling sea sick.” Jun-ho said to the triangle. They didn’t reply, but the square stepped forward, pointing their gun down. 

Their behaviour made you wonder if the symbols on their masks had something to do with their ranking system. Attempting to figure it out while Jun-ho was conversing with them. Square, then triangle, and that left the circle. And if it was the last one it meant that it was the lowest position. “Did you forget the rules?” A man’s voice said from behind the square mask. “You do not speak without your supervisor’s approval.” They continued. You were trying to make your breathing as calm as possible, so that the square wouldn’t notice anything. “Go wait in the cabin,” the square ordered. He gave you and Jun-ho a stare before walking away, taking the triangle with him. 

After they had left you put your hand on your chest to take a breather. You had no idea what you had gotten yourself into, and you couldn’t even blame Jun-ho. You had killed a random man a minute ago and after that you were pointed a gun at, and it was most likely only going to get worse from here.

“Are you doing alright?” Jun-ho’s voice asked, as he kneeled down a little, and pulled your upper body back up by your shoulder. “We have to get to these ‘cabins’, just follow me. Please?” Jun-ho kept talking to you. Giving you a moment to recollect yourself after the encounter. “I’ll recover, I just need to rest for a moment…” You exhaled while looking at your shaky hands. With that you nodded and Jun-ho started to walk up the stairs, where the other circles had gone as well.

[rnnsdrms]

f1 drivers and popular romance tropes: oscar piastri !!

DEAREST READER. i have finally let this sweet boy out of my cage. the root of my inspiration for this whole mission. unlike charles’ though, i went completely overboard with this one. i couldn’t help myself 😭 i failed to make it as low as 1k. i wrote it in google docs and it took 6 pages 😭. so, this is for the piastri girlies out there! i hope you’ll enjoy this one because i had a smooth-sailing writing his compared to the others !

CONTENT WARNINGS. reader and oscar’s age are a bit vague, but anything from primary school to secondary school age. this content is sfw but only 18+ can visit my blog. as for minors, you can only interact with this post and the masterlist. stay in your lane and all shall be well. also, r.i.p my english grammar !

WORD COUNT. 2704 words !

Yep, this boy is the start of it all. When someone said that Oscar Piastri gives off a loser boyfriend-slash-childhood neighbour friends to lovers vibe, I couldn’t agree more. So, I decided to stick with this headcanon for him. 

It’s the kind of story where your parents move into a new neighbourhood due to unique circumstances when you are young, and Oscar’s parents are among the friendly neighbours who greet your parents and you, bringing a welcoming gift to help your family settle into the new community.

When they come to your new house, you spot a boy hiding behind his parents’ legs. When they tell him to say hello, he steps forward hesitantly and extends his hand. You shake it, and he pulls back his hand quickly. Since you and Oscar are about the same age, your parents begin secretly arranging playdates. One reason is that Oscar needs a friend to play with in the neighbourhood, and at the same time, having someone to play with you helps you familiarise yourself with the new surroundings. It’s perfect. Your parents even put you in the same school as Oscar.

Childhood is a blissful mix of shared memories. Every Halloween, you and Oscar go trick-or-treating together, scaring the other kids in the neighbourhood and swapping sweets on the sidewalk. During school breaks, your family and Oscar’s often go hiking together or take camping trips to enjoy the crisp air and the vibrant autumn scenery. While the adults set up the tents and prepare the meals, you and Oscar roam around the campsite, finding the best spots to explore. You get along brilliantly with his younger sisters too, much to Oscar’s frustration, because the three of you love to play pranks on him. Whether it’s hiding his shoes before a hike or sneaking extra marshmallows into his rucksack, your playful antics never fail to make him groan. But you can tell he enjoys these moments, rolling his eyes but smiling as he chases after you, trying to get his revenge.

The cold winters are filled with skiing and ice-skating, both of you putting on each other’s competitive spirit to the test by racing one another from one edge to the other, eager to set the fastest time. But when the chill becomes too much to bear, you both retreat indoors, compensating with cosy movie nights to warm the atmosphere and pass the time. Both your parents have grown accustomed to the two of you visiting each other’s homes, to the point where they prepare your ( or Oscar’s) favourite meals every time you (or Oscar) drop by.

You remember how spring is always the most chaotic time for you and Oscar, especially for him, as he also divided his time with go-karting, but you both always manage to find time to study together. You often joke, ‘Aw, what would you do without me?’ and Oscar can only sigh and nod his head in defeat, knowing he’d be completely lost and his grades would be abysmal without your generous help. It is the season where schools overwhelm their students with endless assignments and preparations for the final exams. You and Oscar either do them in the serene atmosphere of the school’s or public library or in the comfort of each other’s homes. The subjects are difficult, but what’s even more difficult is studying in front of Oscar. That isn’t a problem when you are kids. But adolescence literally alters your brain chemistry and body shape, and you realise, over time, that Oscar grows more and more attractive. You never think you’ll ever see him that way. Sure, you always considered him a very sweet and cute boy during your younger days, even though he can be a little mischievous when he wants to. But you can’t quite pinpoint when you started seeing him in a different light.

Summer holidays are filled with camping in the woods, surfing at the beach, and volunteering together at the community centre. There is never a boring moment. But a core memory that will latch onto you forever is the time he suddenly came to your house at night. You are just about to sleep when you suddenly hear constant sharp thumps against the glass of your window. Initially, you are scared, thinking it might be a ghost or something. But you approach it anyway because it wouldn’t stop. When you open the curtains of your window, you see Oscar hiding in the shadows, one hand in his pocket and the other cupping small rocks. You quickly open your window.

‘Are you crazy?! What are you doing?’ you hiss, trying not to raise suspicion with your parents and the whole neighbourhood.

‘Come down,’ he says, his whisper tinged with a slight urgence. ‘I need to talk to you.’

You hesitate, torn between the need to stay in your room and the pull of his words. It’s not like you have never snuck out before in the past, but who knows how long your luck can last. Oscar stands below, his posture firm, insistent. With a deep sigh, you make up your mind. You can’t ignore him any longer.

‘Give me a moment, I’ll come down.’

‘Okay,’ he says, appearing happy that you listen to his request. ‘I’ll meet you across the street.’

Oscar waits for you as you cross the street. You hope he has a good reason for pulling you out into the dark of night. The two of you begin to walk side by side, taking slow steps throughout the quiet neighbourhood. You ask him why he couldn’t wait until morning to talk about whatever that’s bothering him.

‘I’ve made my decision. I’m going to the UK to pursue racing.’

At that moment, a flood of emotions wash over you like a tsunami attacking a seawall. Your mind becomes muddled, preventing you from finding any words to respond to him. But you know how much he loves racing. You have watched him race at the local go-kart track, effortlessly beating other kids. You have seen the pride beaming through him when he stands on the podium, holding a trophy. You have seen the way his eyes gleam and his smile widens every time he talks about his dream: to be able to compete in Formula 1. This has always been what he wanted, and deep down, you know you’d be a terrible person to try to stop him from pursuing what he truly wants in life.

Trying to swallow the shock down your throat, you ask, ‘When will you be leaving?’

‘Next week. My parents bought the plane tickets already.’

You look up at him. ‘Are your family going as well?’  

‘No. It’ll just be me.’ He pauses. ‘But I won’t be alone. I’ll be staying at a boarding school.’

‘Oh, that’s nice.’ Yet, you don’t feel any reassurance or relief when he says that. He is leaving. With each passing moment, denial grips you more tightly. You know this day will come, and it has. He has been telling you for a while now that he might leave Australia someday. But now that you are being represented with this moment, hearing him finally confirming it, still manages to catch you off guard. It is as you expected, you were never prepared for it, after all. The weight of this moment and the silence that engulf you and him presses down on you, like a boulder lodged in your chest.

‘Well, I’m going to miss you.’ You smile, putting up a strong facade. The sadness that tightens around your heart is hard to remove, and you hope the dim lighting of the streetlight and the pale glow of moonlight do not threaten to show the tears welling in your eyes.

Oscar nods, lips pressed together like how one would when they try to hide something. ‘I’m going to miss you too. It’s going to be hard without you around. But I promise I’ll try to call you—and my family—every week.’ He says, sparing you another soft gaze.

You chuckle, and let out a gentle snort.

‘You better.’ You reciprocate his gaze while trying to sound fierce, but your voice cracks just a little when you say it. Yet, Oscar does not seem to notice.

The air between you and Oscar settles into silence once more, albeit it feels heavier than the previous moments as you both continue walking along the pavement. Despite the silence, your thoughts are screaming, louder than anything the night offers that it becomes deafening to you. There are words you have been dying to say. All these years, you want him to know how much you like him, and more than just a close friend—how he has become the only boy you want in this wide universe. You want to tell him how you wouldn’t want any other boys touching you except for his gentle hands, how even a faint of his smile is enough to light up your darkest days. You can guarantee that there is no one else who understands Oscar like you do, and no one understands you like he does.

Should I say it? What if he just sees me as his childhood friend and … nothing more? The words you have been holding back press against your lips, almost bursting out, but you hesitate. You have been debating with yourself for so long–wondering whether you should tell him how you feel. It was now or never.

But what if he doesn’t feel the same way? Just because we are childhood friends doesn’t mean he will reciprocate your feelings, does it? In the end, you can’t risk it—not when everything is about to change. Besides, Oscar’s unbroken silence seems to give you the answer. If he felt the same, surely he would have said something by now. So, you decide that staying quiet is the safer option. You are not about to ruin the friendship you have built with him over something as trivial as romantic feelings—especially not when he is flying to England next week. It just isn’t worth it. So, for the rest of the walk, you decide to stick to safe, meaningless chatter with Oscar. Once the clock almost hits midnight, you and Oscar exchange a brief smile, say your goodbyes, and part ways. (What you don’t know is that as you walk back to your house, Oscar stops in his tracks. He turns around to look back at you, taking in your figure, trying to carve every detail into his memory, as if he is afraid he might forget you the moment he looks away. It is only when you finally vanish from his view, he walks home). 

A few years later, you are in your first year of university. It’s been lonely without Oscar by your side through high school, but he kept his promise to keep in touch with you through video calls. As for Oscar, he has become a main driver for McLaren in Formula I, and you were thrilled beyond words when he shared the news with you. You still can’t believe he is a famous person now.

One day, he tells you he is coming back to Australia during one of the two-week holidays between Grand Prixs, and you pick him up at the airport along with his parents. The moment you see him, you are ecstatic that when you both finally hug, neither of you wants to let go. You can feel the way his arms press against your back, squeezing the air from your lungs. After a moment, you both pull back—although you sort of initiate it first because you are conscious of his parents and sisters watching. 

That night, his parents invite you to join them for dinner to celebrate Oscar’s return, and while you refuse at first, thinking that it is more of a family reunion, Oscar insists that you should come.

After the meal, you help Mrs Piastri clean up before heading home. But just as you are about to leave, Oscar races to the door, calling out, ‘Wait! I’ll walk you back.’

‘Oh, you don’t have to. You must be tired—’

‘No, I’m not. And I want to.’ He cut, giving you an unwavering gaze.

You release a defeated sigh through your mouth, realising there is no point in arguing with Oscar, so you let him accompany you as you walk back home. As usual, silence fills the air at first, heavy and awkward, but after gaining some distance from his house, Oscar finally breaks through it.

‘I have something to say to you … something I should have said a long time ago.’ He begins with a furtive note, making you feel slightly uneasy but curious enough to know.

‘Oh? Is there still something you need to say that you didn’t already say over dinner tonight?’ You joke, trying to ease the atmosphere and him.

You see him hesitate for a moment. Then, he stops walking, and you instinctively stop walking too. Confusion starts to seep into your facial features as you look up at him. Oscar takes a deep breath and exhales the air through his mouth, before looking straight into your eyes with a brand new motive.

‘During my time in the UK, I found myself … constantly … thinking about you. There wasn’t a day I didn’t think of you—well, maybe only when I was asleep. And even then, I sometimes … I dreamt of you.’ He pauses, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he shifts his gaze downwards to the pavement. A faint pink hue colours his cheeks. ‘I guess I’ve been blind this whole time, or maybe I was just too afraid to say anything before I left. That eventually grew into regret.’

Your heart rate increases with every word he speaks, but your gaze never leaves his face. You can’t believe you are actually hearing this, especially after a few years. You think you might know what he is trying to say, but it sounds too good to be true, and you don’t want to get your hopes too high to protect yourself from the sting of a potential heartbreak.

‘I’ve always liked you, (y/n). More than a friend would. It’s … it’s always been you.’ He reaches his hand out to grasp yours. You almost shudder at his touch, but your desire for him channels through your hold on them, never wanting to let go. 

‘And I hope we can be more than just … friends.’

You stare at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly ajar. His confession has an effect similar to a nuclear bomb. Your mind is reduced to nothing. Oscar, noticing the blank expression on your face and your silence, shifts uncomfortably. But before he can say anything, you quickly avert your gaze, covering your mouth with your hand. There is a feeling of immense happiness and relief swelling in your chest that you can’t help but let tears pool in your eyes. But you pull yourself together, and turn to face him.

‘I never stopped thinking about you either.’ You admit, your voice trembling. ‘It was hard without you here. This place felt so much less like home when you weren’t around. Everywhere I went, everything I saw … It all reminded me of you. I’ve … I’ve grown feelings for you too. But I also didn’t say anything because I couldn’t risk ruining what we have, our friendship, and our friendship is so good.’ 

You take a shaky breath, smiling softly, finally letting your tears fall from your eyes. ‘But I’ve always hoped for more.’

For a moment, the two of you just stand where you are, overwhelmed by the weight of each other’s feelings. Then, out of nowhere, you both start laughing.

‘Oh my god,’ Oscar snorted, placing a hand over his eyes. ‘We’re both so dumb.’

‘Hey!’ You lightly protested, gently punching him in the arm. ‘Don’t lump me in with you!’

‘No can do,’ he teases, bringing his thumbs up to wipe the side of your eyes. ‘We’re together now … for real.’

You gaze at him. Your voice just above a whisper. ‘For real?’

Oscar nods. ‘For real.’

• ───────────────────────────•

SONGS FOR THIS SCENARIO: Taylor Swift – You Belong With Me, SEVENTEEN – Home, Dhruv – double take, lany – sharing you, Jeremy Zucker ft Chelsea Cutler – this is how you fall in love

• ───────────────────────────•

˗ˏˋ MASTERLIST ˎˊ˗ ✦ ˗ˏˋ KO-FI ˎˊ˗

RNNSDRMS™. SUPPORT WRITERS BY REBLOGGING THEIR WORK. DO NOT PLAGIARIZE, TRANSLATE, OR POST MY WORKS ON ANY SITE. I WILL POST MY POSTS ON OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA SITES MYSELF AND THAT’S ALL YOU GET.

[scoonsalicious]

Chapter 6, Unattached - Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.

Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language, angst (Bring on the Pain!), alcohol usage, dumbass Bucky, noncon kissing that becomes con kissing, so..., arguing, jealous!Pocket, posessive!Bucky.

Word Count: 5.4k

Previously On...: After Bucky left you alone in your room, not wanting people to get 'the wrong idea' about the two of you, you came to the horrible conclusion that you were in love with your best friend. What the hell are you going to do about that?

A/N: Wow, okay! So, first off, Chapter 6 is long, and it only has the one part, so don't worry if you go looking for more and the next thing you find is Chapter 7! Second, there's a lot of progress and updates on Unwanted I wanted to share! I am already well into writing Chapter 14, and have planned out the rest of the story. We'll have a total of 25 chapters, plus an epilogue (unless something strikes me creatively that throws the entire thing for a loop, then all bets are off). This beast, as it currently sits, is already 208 Google Docs pages long and just shy of 80k words, so final product is probably going to be novel-length, which just blows my mind. I want to give a special shout out to @mrsbuckybarnes1917 for being my beta and my sounding board; your help and support has been immeasurable!

Thank you to all those who have been reading; if you like what you've read, likes, comments, and reblogs give me life, and I truly appreciate them, and you!

Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917

Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @jmeelee @cazellen @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @erelierraceala @hayjat @capswife @itsteambarnes @jupiter-107 @marygoddessofmischief

You stood in front of the doors to the common room, the low thrum of conversation and music filtering out from inside. Taking a deep breath, you tried for the umpteenth time to calm your nerves following your unsettling realization.

You had no idea how to approach this, how to approach Bucky. Do you tell him how you felt, in the hope that he felt the same way? But what if he didn't? Could you risk losing him all together? Or do you just keep on like nothing's changed, happy with what you have together? Would that be enough for you? Could you even be happy in a real relationship?

Why couldn't your mother have just been a decent human being and let you go to school like a normal child so you could have worked through all your awkward issues at the appropriate time, instead of saddling you with years of trauma and isolation that left you an emotionally stunted adult? God, you needed a strong drink and to talk to Nat, preferably in that order. Pushing open the common room door, you stepped inside, surveying the room with one eye out for Bucky, the other out for your friend.

It should have been of no surprise, then, that instead of either, you first spotted Jade Carthage. She was situated on a couch in the center of the room, like a queen on her throne before her court, and nearly every Avenger and agent with a penis was surrounding her, jockeying for her attention, even Clint who, you knew for a fact, loved his wife Laura more than life itself.

Your stomach dropped when, after one of the agents in front of the couch shifted slightly, you saw Bucky sitting immediately to Jade's left. And while it seemed like everyone else was clamoring for Jade to pay attention to them, she only had eyes for him. Jealousy coursed through you as she leaned in close, whispering something into his ear that had him throwing his head back in laughter. It was an entirely unpleasant sensation that you would be happy to never feel again. Especially because you knew you had no real right to feel it in the first place. You may have just realized you were in love with him, but he had made no similar declaration to you.

"Careful, you glare any harder, you're liable to bore a hole straight through him," Natasha said, coming up alongside of you.

"What if I aim for her, instead?" you asked, reaching for the tumbler of alcohol she offered you and taking a sip to distract yourself. It was like she could read your mind.

Nat shrugged. "So long as I'm not the one cleaning up the mess, I say have fun. But what happened to no-strings-attached, friends who happen to fuck?" Nat asked with a smirk. "Don't tell me you've grown strings, Pocket."

You looked away from the scene in front of you. "There might be some growing of string, in theory," you mumbled to her. Nat was the only person you had confided in regarding your arrangement with Bucky. Of course, your friend had been thrilled that there had been something going on between the two of you, but she'd been more concerned about protecting your heart-- was this the safest thing for you to do? You assured her at the time you'd be fine, but now...?

Nat's eyes widened as a grin took over her face. "Honey, that's fantastic!" She leaned in to give you a hug. "I'm so happy for you!" Taking in your forlorn expression, she quickly lost her good humor. "Why do you look like you're about to throw up?"

You cast another glance over at the couch. Jade was tracing her fingers along the golden veins of Bucky's vibranium arm and you felt like snakes were crawling through your stomach. "Because I don't know what the fuck to do about it, Natty," you told her with a sigh. "I've never felt like this before in my entire life and it's fucking terrifying; what if he doesn't feel the same way? Or worse, what if he does and I mess everything up because I'm so fucking damaged inside?"

Natasha looped her arm through yours, leaning into you. "Honey, first of all, you are not damaged. You've been through hell and it left its mark on you, that's true, but you've been so strong. We're House Martell, remember?"

You sniggered, remembering how, when the entire Tower was obsessed with watching Game of Thrones together and picking what houses you'd each belong to, you and Nat had been drawn to the words of the ruling house of Dorne. And also, Pedro Pascal, obviously.

"Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken," you recited from memory, a reminder that despite the obstacles life had thrown at you, you remained standing, stronger for what you had endured.

"Atta girl," Nat nudged you with her elbow. "And second of all, you don't need to worry about Bucky's feelings. Boy's obviously mad for you. Everyone can see it."

You drew your bottom lip in between your teeth. "I don't know, Nat. He's been acting strange lately. I tried to give him head earlier and he flat out rejected it." Come to think of it, that was exceptionally weird since, in your text exchange, he'd explicitly told you he'd been waiting in your room specifically for the purpose of getting off.

"Huh. That's... not like him." Nat tilted her head and looked over at Bucky, expression curious. "Did he say why?"

"He was real eager to come up here and get in the middle of that, apparently." You waved a hand in the general direction of the couch where Jade's little reverse-harem was still going strong. "I was getting on my knees and everything."

Nat raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"And then he made a really big deal about us coming up here separately. Said he didn't want people getting 'the wrong idea' about us if we arrived together."

Letting go of your arm, Natasha spun to face you, her face a mask of anger. "He said what now?!" she practically shouted, temporarily drawing everyone's attention to you. You looked around sheepishly as you tried to dismiss their stares.

"Nat," you begged in a whisper, "keep it down."

"Okay, okay, sorry." Natasha lowered her voice to a level only you could hear. "I'm sorry, but that's just complete and utter bullshit. Look, I know you guys think you've been in super secret stealth mode about hiding it, but pretty much everyone on the team knows you've been sleeping together. Hell, most of us placed bets on it." You opened your mouth in order to protest but she cut you off.

"If anything, it's weirder if the two of you don't show up to something together, so I don't know what the hell he's thinking."

"I do," you said morosely. "He doesn't want her getting the wrong idea about us."

"Pocket, don't even let your mind go there," Nat said.

"Think about it, Nat; I've been standing here for what, fifteen minutes now? And he hasn't even looked at me. When's the last time that happened?"

Nat's brows creased, her expression clouding over into something immensely sad for you, and you knew she was realizing what you'd already seen. In the last year, you and Bucky had been attached at the hip, nearly physically joined to one another, and if you were apart, your eyes were always scanning the room in search of the other's presence, seeking them out. The fact that he hadn't even looked for you, let alone come to you since you walked in, was telling in its own heartbreaking way.

Nat let out a heavy sigh. "Oh Pocket. Honey, I'm so sorry."

You shook your head, trying to dispel the tears that were threatening to fall from your eyes if you kept down this path. "Don't Natty, please. I can't fall apart, not here."

"Yeah, okay-- you're right. Now is not the time. Come on." Linking her arm through yours once again, she directed you toward the bar where Tony was standing, whiskey in hand. "If anyone can talk you to distraction," she murmured as you approached him, "it's Stark."

You let out a startled laugh and let her guide you toward the man who had already saved you more times than you could count.

"Hey, kiddo; Romanoff." Tony saluted you with his glass and you did your best to smile back at him as you stuffed your emotions down as far as they would go. "What do you think of our new recruit?" he asked Nat.

"I think 'Weasel' would be a better fitting code name for her than 'Vixen,'" Nat replied with a sly smile as she took a sip of wine.

"Ah, saw the security feed, did you?" Tony asked her. Nat nodded.

"Watched it live as it happened. Wasn't going to leave my bestie without eyes on her six." She gave your arm an affectionate squeeze.

Tony hummed and glanced over to the couch. "Wish Cap had been as discerning as you. He refused to watch the feed; said it made him uncomfortable to spy on someone when they didn't know they were being recorded." Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Always the fucking Boy Scout," she murmured.

"So, how did the interview itself go?" you asked Tony, not really sure you wanted to know the answer, but feeling the need to punish yourself with the details, anyway.

Tony leaned back against the bar, resting his elbows on the polished wooden surface. "If it were up to me, we wouldn't even be playing this charade right now," he said, motioning with his chin to indicate the meet and greet. "Girl's a first-class bullshitter."

"Talent recognizing talent?" you asked with a wry smile that almost felt genuine.

He pointed a finger and winked at you. "Exactly. She talked a good talk, but it doesn't take much to see she's suffering from Big Fish, Small Pond Syndrome. She's in for a rude awakening if she thinks she's ready to swim in the ocean with the whales and the sharks."

"So, you're not going to offer her the probationary position?" you asked, hope rising pathetically in your chest. As if you could un-ring the bell.

"Oh, I didn't say that," Tony said as you deflated. "It's not all up to me. Though, given the fact that I personally fund this entire operation, you'd think it really should be, right?" At the look on your face he moved on. "Apologies, I digress. Anyway, Cap thinks it's only fair we offer it to her, seeing as how we don't have a ton of other options knocking on our door, and Fury's not going to get off my ass until we find someone." He sighed. "I think this entire exercise is a waste of time, and we should be kicking her out on her ass for how she treated you earlier, Pocket, but I'm outvoted."

"Thanks, Boss," you said softly, grateful at least that Tony could see through Jade's facade and took how she treated you seriously. Too bad your best friend couldn't offer you the same courtesy.

The timer on Tony's watch went off. "And that's the dinner bell," he said, putting down his glass. Clapping his hands, he called out to the rest of the room. "Attention Avengers, SHIELD Agents, and... whoever else managed to sneak in off the street! Dinner is served, so if we could all head to the dining room before the food gets cold and Raul quits on me, I'd appreciate it very much."

You held back as the crowd of people noisily moved to the dining room, hoping to catch Bucky's eye, but he remained steadfastly absorbed in his conversation with Jade.

"Come on, honey," Nat said as she took your elbow. "You can talk to him during dinner. You nodded and allowed her to lead you into the dining room. You and Bucky had sat next to one another, without fail, for every meal for the last year, the only exception being when one of you was away on a mission. You'd have plenty of opportunities to talk to him while you ate.

Normally, you all ate at one large table, but since this was a special occasion that required the attendance of a lot more than just the regular 13 members of your family (14, if Parker was around), Tony had the dining room arranged more like a restaurant, with a series of smaller tables spread out throughout the space.

You and Nat followed Bucky and Jade to a six-top where Steve and Sam were already getting ready to sit down, but you froze in your tracks when Bucky pulled back a chair for Jade, pushing it in behind her as she sat down before taking the seat next to her.

The air seemed to grow heavy, as though it weighed too much for you to draw it into your lungs and your chest began to hurt. How could such a simple action be causing you so much physical pain?

Steve, who had already been sitting at Bucky's other side at the head of the table, caught your eye and moved to get up to offer you his chair, instead, as though that could make up for Bucky's dismissal of you.

You subtly shook your head, not wanting to draw attention to the awkward situation you found yourself in. Instead, you made your way over to the only two remaining seats at the table: the one next to Sam that was directly across from Jade and Bucky or the one next to Jade at the opposite end of the table from Steve. Deciding it was better to be sitting across from Steve than either of the other two, you opted for the chair at the end, and Nat slid in next to Sam.

You cast a quick glance in Jade's direction and had to stifle a sick laugh-- she was physically coming between you and Bucky, quite literally.

Jade reached a hand out to Nat across the table. "Wow! Black Widow! It is so great to meet you! My name's Vixen; I'm a huge fan! I'm so excited for us to be working together!"

Bless Nat, she just stared at the girl with arms crossed across her chest, impassive and judging, until Jade slowly and awkwardly pulled her hand back.

"I take it, then, that you've deemed the Avengers good enough to be your backup team?" Nat asked without expression.

You did your best to cover the laughter that escaped from you with a fake cough, but you didn't try very hard to be convincing.

"What's this about, now?" Steve asked, leaning forward.

"Little Vixen over here," Nat began, leaning back in her chair until she was perched on the two rear legs, "was live-streaming this morning to her social media followers. Told them it wasn't so much that the Avengers were interviewing her to see if she'd be good for the team, but she was interviewing us to see if we'd be good back up for her."

Jade had the decency to look embarrassed for a moment before she turned to face you for the first time, anger taking over her features. "So, what? Didn't much take you for a tattler. You that intimidated by me?"

You opened your mouth to defend yourself but were interrupted by the sound of the legs of Nat's chair slamming back against the floor. "Pocket didn't tell me shit. I heard it straight from your mouth on the security feed. That and a lot of other interesting things."

"You're spying on her, Nat? Really?" Bucky spoke up. "She's our guest and she deserves a modicum of privacy, don't you think?" You stared at him, open mouthed, but he didn't spare you a glance.

"It was a part of her interview, Barnes," Nat spat. "Maybe if you---"

"Okay, Nat, Bucky," Steve said, using his official Captain America voice, "let's table this conversation for later and just enjoy our meal. Raul worked really hard on tonight's menu, so let's not spoil it for him, alright?"

Both Nat and Bucky grumbled their agreement as the catering staff brought out the first course and placed them on each of your plates. Normally, you loved when Raul, Tony's personal chef, cooked meals for the team; he always made sure to throw in something with lemon in it, knowing how much you loved the flavor; but tonight, your appetite was failing you and you ended up pushing more food around on your plate than you put in your mouth.

You couldn't help but steal glances over at Bucky, who continued to be wrapped in conversation with Jade. You tried to keep up with what the others were saying, occasionally nodding your head in agreement to something, but you weren't able to pay any real attention; your mind was elsewhere until you noticed Jade looking at you.

"You know, I have to say I'm surprised to see so many non-Avengers here. I got the impression that this group was... I dunno, elite? But it seems like you just let anyone in."

Steve laughed from the other end of the table. "Being an Avenger is a team effort, Vixen. Everyone plays their part. And besides, Pocket here's just as much an Avenger as I am." The comment took you by surprise, and you gave Steve a warm, appreciative smile.

"Thanks, Cap," you said, truly touched by his words.

"Well, she's more like Avenger-adjacent," Bucky amended, and all the warmth you'd felt at Steve's compliment vanished in an instant, leaving you feeling cold and hollow. The words shouldn't have stung-- it was how you had referred to yourself hundreds of times, but you tended to reserve it for your low moments, when you were feeling unequal to Earth's mightiest heroes. Hearing the words come out of Bucky's mouth, as if he, too, shared in your belief that you were inferior to the rest of them... well, that fucking hurt.

Steve let out a surprised laugh and clapped Bucky on the shoulder. "Pocket may not have enhanced physical abilities or powers or what have you, but she's got a brilliant mind. She's got a PhD in Mechanical Engineering and Computation from MIT, three Master's degrees, she speaks seven languages, she's got a black belt in Krav Maga, and she was the youngest Chief Technology Officer in Stark Industries history; all without ever having formally graduating high school. It's no exaggeration for me to say that I'd be dead a couple of dozen times over if I hadn't had her at my six. If anything, I think it makes her even more important than the rest of us. We're here because of the physical things we can do– primarily because of things that happened to us by accident; Pocket's essential to the team because of how she thinks, and the strength and quality of the work she’s willing to put in. We're replaceable, Pocket's one-of-a-kind."

You looked at Steve as if seeing him for the very first time. You had no idea he thought so highly of you, and his praise warmed you. You offered him a soft smile, your throat tightening with emotion and leaving you unable to express your gratitude. You mouthed a silent thank you instead, hoping that conveyed how much his words meant to you. He winked back at you in acknowledgement.

Bucky glanced back and forth between the two of you, as if analyzing your silent exchange. He coughed awkwardly. "I just meant that we try to keep Pocket away from the really dangerous stuff," he backpedaled, poorly, in your opinion. "Can't risk her getting hurt." He smiled at you, but you just stared back, expression blank, until he looked away in embarrassment. Good. Let him feel an ounce of the discomfort you’d been feeling this entire time.

Small talk resumed around the table, with Sam telling Steve about some new modification he was making to Redwing, and Bucky and Jade back to being locked in their own bubble. You did your best to ignore the little glances and gestures that Jade directed to Bucky, but it felt like your eyes were drawn to them like a magnet every time she touched him. Which seemed to be happening more and more frequently. You couldn't help but notice the way he leaned toward her when she spoke. Did he ever do that when he was talking with you?

"So, Bucky," Jade said eventually, her voice low and flirty as the caterers took away the main course, "handsome super hero like you, you seeing anyone?" Your eyes snapped up to Bucky's face, watching him. Surely he was going to look to you, make eye contact, something to acknowledge what was between you, to make you feel like you were in the same room, hell, on the same fucking planet as him. But he didn't.

"Nope," he said, running his hand over the back of his neck like he always did when he was feeling self conscious or nervous. "Not seeing anyone, though I'm not opposed to the idea." You had been stabbed in the abdomen on a mission once, and that had hurt less than hearing the words that had just come out of Bucky's mouth. It took everything in you to resist getting up from the table and leaving the room at that moment.

"Really, man?" Sam asked from where he sat on the other side of Natasha, his voice hard in disbelief. The atmosphere at your table had shifted. Natasha, Steve, and Sam all stared at Bucky with looks ranging from incredulity to flat out disgust. Bucky either was oblivious to the stares or was doing a great job patently ignoring them.

You couldn't even bring yourself to look at him anymore. It felt like a betrayal, the way his eyes had met Jade's and not yours. How could he sit there and just completely deny you like that? Had you been deluding yourself? Had you just been some kind of fuck toy this entire time?

The caterers brought the next course, a cold raspberry soup. You sat there, staring into space as you mechanically spooned the soup into your mouth, trying your hardest to appreciate the taste, but everything seemed bitter in light of Bucky's attitude, actions, and words.

"Could you hand me the water carafe?" Bucky asked. You looked up to watch Jade hand him the bottle of water. "Thanks, doll," he said, smiling at her.

You dropped your spoon, letting it fall into your nearly empty bowl with a reverberating clang. Your companions at the table stared, eyes wide as their gazes traveled between you and Bucky. In his entire time at the tower, he had never once called another woman 'doll.' It was a moniker he'd specifically reserved for you.

Or, it used to be.

You could tell the exact moment when Bucky realized he'd fucked up. His eyes locked on yours, the color draining from his face. He opened his mouth as if he was going to speak to you, but you'd had enough. Without a word, you pushed back your chair with enough force that it practically tipped over and exited the dining room.

You made it all the way to the elevator before you heard him calling for you.

"Doll! Doll, where are you?" You stabbed repeatedly at the call button, as if it would bring the car to you faster. You could hear his footsteps drawing closer, and you really didn't want to talk to him right now.

Finally, the elevator doors opened and you slid inside, turning to press the 'Close Door' button just as you saw Bucky turn the corner to the elevator bay. You were ready to breathe a sigh of relief at evading him until Bucky's metal hand shot in the diminishing space between the closing doors. You were trapped.

"Doll, didn't you hear me callin' to you?" he asked as he slid into the car with you.

You looked around, as if searching for another person in the car. "I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Should probably be more specific with your pet names, then. A girl’s liable to get confused." You were impressed that the words came out as hard and bitter as you felt inside.

Bucky flinched. "I deserved that."

You leaned forward to press the button for your floor before crossing your arms and glaring at him. "You fucking think?"

"Look, it just slipped out, okay? I didn't mean anything by it. It's not a big thing you needed to storm out over." You rolled your eyes at him, disgusted that that was the only thing he seemed to realize he'd done to offend you all evening. "Pocket, can we just talk about this?"

"Oh, now you want to talk to me?" you asked, jutting out your hip in annoyance. "Seemed like earlier today, you couldn't wait to not be seen with me, or do you no longer care if people get the wrong idea?"

"Alright," Bucky said, slamming his fist against the elevator's emergency stop button. You stumbled as the car came to a grinding halt. Bucky tried to put his hands on you to steady you, but you pushed him away. "What is going on with you today, Pocket?"

"What's going on with me?" you asked him, incredulous. "What's going on with you? You've been an ass to me all night, that is when you weren't acting like I didn't exist."

"How am I being an ass?" he asked, voice rising. "You're the one who couldn't even hold a civil conversation with our guest! It was embarrassing!" You recoiled as if he'd slapped you, backing away from him until your back hit the elevator wall.

"Wow. Okay then." You blinked heavily, telling yourself not to cry. You'd be damned if you showed weakness in front of him now. Bury the emotions, encase them in ice. "Sorry I'm such a fucking embarrassment to you, Sergeant Barnes. Now that I know how you feel, I'll make sure to stay out of your way so you don't have to put up with me." You moved to press the button to restart the elevator, but Bucky grabbed your wrist.

"Don't do this," he growled at you. "Don't hide behind snappy quips so you can shut down and avoid having a real conversation with me." You stared between his eyes and where he held your wrist in his metal grip. It wasn't tight enough to hurt, but it was tight enough to keep you from breaking free.

His gaze softened as he watched you. "I never said I was embarrassed of you, Pocket. I just don't know why you had to be so rude to Jade at dinner tonight."

"Name one thing I did that was rude to her," you challenged.

"Okay," Bucky stuck out a finger as though he were about to count off all your grievous errors. "Let's see... You said... No, that was Nat... You were... okay, Steve said that... You said... No, that was Nat again." He looked up at you sheepishly. "So, maybe you actually didn't say anything during dinner, but not talking to her was still rude."

You scoffed. "You want to talk rude and embarrassing, Bucky? Do you know how embarrassing it was to have everyone staring at me when you pulled out my chair for Jade, or when my own best friend didn't defend me when she had the audacity to call me a fucking tattler? Like I’m some kind of fucking child?" Your voice was rising and you could feel yourself getting swept up in your anger. "How about the pity looks I got when everyone heard you lie about not seeing anyone, or when you called her 'doll'? Or when you told her I was 'Avengers-adjacent'? You think I'm the embarrassing one? You made me feel like an insignificant piece of shit tonight, Barnes. God, if it hadn't been for Steve saying what he said, you would have driven me to tears."

Bucky had been staring down at his boots as you'd been speaking, as though your accusations were too much for him to face head-on, but at the mention of Steve's name, his head snapped up, blue eyes like ice on your face. "Well, if Steve's such a hero, why aren't you fucking him, then?" he asked, voice clipped and bitter.

You yanked your wrist free from his grasp. "Maybe I should start!" you shouted. "At least he's not embarrassed of me and doesn't forget I exist when another pair of tits shows up!"

Bucky's gaze darkened and in an instant, he was on you, caging your body against the elevator wall, a hand on either side of your head. "Don't you even fucking joke about that," he snarled.

You jutted out your chin, refusing to show any sign of weakness, though his actions were beginning to frighten you. "Who says I'm joking? Sounds like a good idea to me; thanks for suggesting it." You moved to duck under his arm, but he grabbed you by the shoulders, pinning you in place.

His breaths were coming hard and fast now, as though he'd just run a marathon. His gaze darted between your eyes and your lips, as though trying to make up his mind about something. In the next instant, his mouth was crashing down on yours, his tongue demanding entry.

You gasped at the sudden intrusion and Bucky took that as his invitation, deepening the kiss with a primal fervor. His hands gripped your waist, pulling you into him. For a moment, you were stunned, unsure of what was happening. But then instincts took over – he was kissing you, really kissing you. Your stomach fluttered and your heart hammered in your chest.

One of your hands ran through his hair, while the other gripped his shoulder for support. His hands had somehow migrated beneath your shirt, thumbs rubbing soothing circles into the bare skin at your sides. You returned his kiss with as much intensity as he gave. But then suddenly, as if waking from a dream, you remembered why you were angry with him. You pushed against his chest, breaking the kiss.

You were both panting, and despite your attempt to put distance between your bodies, Bucky leaned down, resting his forehead against yours as he fought to catch his breath. "Don't," he whispered hoarsely, his voice heavy with an emotion you couldn't quite place. "Don't sleep with Steve."

"You realize how incredibly infuriating you're being right now, don't you?" you asked. "You can't just treat me like that, ignore me all night in favor of someone else, then kiss me and try to tell me who I can or can't sleep with."

"I know, Sweetheart," he said, nuzzling your nose with his, "I know and I'm sorry, but please, promise me: no matter how angry you are with me, don't sleep with Steve. You wanna fuck someone else to piss me off? Go fuck Sam, Thor, Rhodes, hell, even Parker. I'll hate it, but if it's Steve, it'll fucking kill me."

"Your signals are all over the place tonight, Buck," you sighed, letting out an involuntary moan as his lips found the sweet spot on your neck and sucked at your skin. You had to pull away before he turned you into a babbling mess. "If you think you can just kiss me into oblivion and I'll forgive you for everything you've said and done tonight, you better think again, because that's not happening."

Bucky ran both his hands through his hair, sending it pointing every which way. Then he pressed the emergency stop button again, letting the elevator resume its journey. "I know I owe you an explanation, Pocket," he said. "So, can we go to your room and talk? No interruptions, no one else, just you and me, okay?"

You studied him, considering. A part of you was still so angry at him that you didn't want to hear him out, but the part of you that loved him hated the idea of leaving things in a bad place. In your line of work, you never knew when your next goodbye might be your last goodbye.

"Fine," you said, dropping your shoulders with a sigh. "We can talk, I'll hear you out, but I'm not promising forgiveness."

He smiled, his eyes bright once again. "That's all I ask, Sweets. That's all I ask."

<- Previous Chapter / Next Chapter ->

[lainiespicewrites]

Coach Sy Ch 6

ITS HERE! This took forever because life is crazy rn! But I LOVE this story and I have so many plans for it! This is NOT the end by far! Here's more of our lovable Coach!! (also this story just hit 100 pages on google docs!)

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, cursing, sex p in v, oral, unprotected sex

summary: After the weekend together Alayna decides its time for Logan to meet her friends!

Let me know what you think!!!!

7k (I'm so sorry I couldn't stop!)

Here’s part 5 cause it’s been a while!

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The rest of our weekend was too fast. I was already loving the feeling of waking up next to this man. Sunday morning we went out for breakfast. A local diner in town. It was his idea. I told him we could just cook at home again. He was showing off. At this rate everyone would know before we got back to school tomorrow. 

He had his arm around my waist when we walked in and pulled me closer while we waited to be seated. He sat next to me instead of across from me in the booth. His arm around my shoulder while we looked at the menu. I giggled to myself.

“What is it darlin?” He raised an eyebrow looking at me curiously. I shook my head. 

“You’re something else,” I chuckled. He only looked more confused. “Parading me around like you won first prize, I didn’t realize you were so into PDA,” I smirked. His smile mimicked mine as he kissed my head softly. 

“You ain’t seen nothing yet, honey.” He chuckled. “Just wanna make sure everyone knows you’re off the market.” He spoke proudly. 

“Yeah because there were so many others you had to worry about.” I rolled my eyes. Sy grabbed my chin making me look at him. His deep blue eyes stared into mine intently. 

“Just because you don’t see ‘em staring doesn’t mean they ain’t looking Darlin’. If I hadn’t put myself in your path you’d never have noticed, baby. Trust me they’re lookin’, and I don’t share,” He let out a soft growl in my ear and I felt my cheeks flush as a rush of heat flooded my body. 

“Sy,” I said softly. He moved his hand so he was cupping cheek, his thumb softly caressing my jaw. I tilted up to kiss him softly but before our lips met the waitress softly cleared her throat approaching our table. 

“You two ready to order?” she asked sweetly, mainly to Logan keeping her eyes on him the whole time. 

He slowly tore his eyes from mine and turned to her, giving her a kind smile.

“I think we are!” He spoke enthusiastically like we weren’t one breath away from defiling this booth. Like he didn’t have me right where he wanted me hanging on every word he said. Like I wasn’t about to let him do whatever filthy thoughts were working the gears in his head, right here where we could get caught. But you could never tell. Not with Sy. He was a deviant disguised as a perfect gentleman.

“And what can I get for you handsome?” she smiled back. I froze, feeling my blood boil. I know she did not. I looked up from the menu trying to convey a cold look in my eyes, glaring at her as she kept hers on my man. Her eyes lit up while he rattled off his order. She was lucky there was a brick wall of a man between us. I slid closer to Sy tucking myself under his arm and resting my hand on his chest. He raised an eyebrow as I scanned the menu still in his hand to give the waitress my order. She seemed slightly more annoyed now but still smiled when she repeated everything back to us. “Is that all for you?” she asked us, again looking at Sy, 

“Yeah, that’s it,” I answered, sending her another look before turning back to Sy and trailing my hand from his chest to the back of his neck pulling him in for a kiss. I heard her huff when she walked away and I smirked to myself as I slowly pulled back, Sy’s lip chasing mine in a chaste little kiss. 

“The hell was that?” He raised an eyebrow smirking as he looked me over. 

“What?” I asked, kissing his cheek softly and turning to scroll through some of the messages I’d missed on my phone. 

“You were jealous,” He chuckled softly. I blushed, turning away from him a bit. 

“What, I can’t kiss my boyfriend without having an ulterior motive?” I pouted. His hands were around my middle as he pulled me close. 

“You’re boyfriend huh?” I could feel his smile against my neck. 

“Mhmm, that’s what I said. Mine,” I grumbled. He chuckled softly, brushing my hair back out of my face and leaning back in the booth so I could rest against him.  We sat quietly through breakfast. Talking about the week, He asked if I would ride with the team to the game on friday. They had another away game this week. Of course I agreed. He and the team were about to break a record for the school's undefeated season. I wouldn’t miss it. Sy was trying not to get his hopes up but I just knew they were gonna make it to state this year. I’ve never seen the boys play like they have this season. After breakfast. I decided I should probably go home. We had work in the morning and as fun as it was staying the weekend with him I did have my own things to keep up with. 

Sy was quiet on the drive home. But at one point about halfway through the drive he looked over and smiled. He grabbed my hand from my lap and intertwined our fingers. 

“You’re so cute,” I giggled softly. 

“I hate letting you go,” Logan sighed. Kissing the back of my hand. 

“You’ll see me tomorrow, Baby,” I chuckled. He pulled into my driveway and put the truck in park. 

“I know, I’m just really enjoying waking up with you in my bed.”

“I like that too,” I smiled, kissing his cheek. “I just think I need to slow down. I’m getting ahead of myself. I’d love to be with you everyday. But we need to let this develop a little,” I spoke nervously, biting my lip. He squeezed my hand trying to ease my mind. 

“I get it darlin’ You don’t wanna jump in head first and crash. I won’t let you fall. But hell, we both need our own space too.” he said. I nodded. And let him kiss me softly one last time before I finally got out of the truck. 

“Thank you for this weekend.” I said leaning against the door and the open window of the truck, “I’ve had more fun with you than I’ve had in a long time.” I admitted shyly

“So did I, I’ll call you this week when I have our next date planned out,” He winked. 

“You don’t have to do that Logan,” I argued. 

“Like hell I don’t. Just cause I got you doesn’t mean I can start slackin, you deserve the best pretty girl and I’m gonna give it to ya” I blushed. 

“Damnit Sy, if you keep saying things like that I’m gonna get right back into this truck and go home with you.” I pouted. He chuckled and I finally backed away from the truck and let out a deep sigh. “I really do need to go,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked turning and walking up to unlock my front door. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow baby” He called from the truck. I turned and waved, blowing him a kiss and then went inside. 

I didn’t get nearly as good of sleep Sunday night as I had the nights I spent with Sy. But I didn’t let myself dwell on that. I enjoyed his company so much and he’s such a giving and caring and intense man. I want to be with him. It just feels so overwhelming. I don’t want Logan to feel like I’m pushing him away. But this is all so new to me. No one’s ever wanted to commit to me the way he has. It scares me. 

I was exhausted walking into the guidance office Monday morning. I tossed and turned all night and woke up late. It’s crazy how in a matter of a few weeks he’s made my bed less comfortable just because I’m not next to him. I shake the thought from my mind and give Jess a tired smile.

“Good Morning!” She said with as much cheer as she could muster up on a Monday morning. 

“Morning,” I replied weakly. 

“Busy weekend?” She asked with a knowing smirk. 

“The best weekend,” I said, entering my office and setting my bag down. She watched me for a moment and raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you gonna give me the details or are you going to make me pry?” she chuckled. I smiled softly. 

“The date was so fun!” I said “let me finish my coffee and wake up first and I’ll tell you how it all went!”  She just smiled and we both started our work day.

 About an hour later after I’d caught up from emails from the weekend and the office was slow I filled Jess in about my weekend with Sy. 

“So you two are a couple? Oh I’m so happy for you! I told you!” She said. I nodded quickly. “Why does it seem like you aren’t nearly as excited as I am?” She raised an eyebrow. 

“I am!” I defended quickly, wringing my wrist’s awkwardly. 

“But…” she added for me and paused.

“It’s all happening so fast, what if…”

“Hold on,” she cut me off. I shut my mouth quickly and leaned against the desk letting her speak, “He hasn’t proposed has he?” She asked. I shook my head. “He hasn’t asked you to move in or talked about babies? Maybe ask you to donate one of your kidneys?’ I laughed out loud and shook my head. 

“No he hasn't," I added. 

“Then stop searching for a problem! Stop trying to find a reason to be disappointed,  Alayna. It’s okay to just be with someone.” She argued.  I nodded. 

Mike came into the office then greeted us both before I could answer her. He was a teacher. His class was in the same hallway as Logan's. They chatted between class periods. Mike played football in college and currently coaches our cross country team. They got along well!. Mike was much more soft spoken than Sy. But Sy appreciated that about him. Mike taught Psychology as well as World History. The two of them often had some fun conversations over lunch. At least from what Sy has told me. They’re good friends!

It would also seem that he and Jess have caught themselves in the same situation as Logan and I . Except Mike hasn’t made a move despite the amount of times Logan has encouraged him to do so. And sweet precious Jessica refuses to believe he’s into her no matter how many signs I point out. 

“Morning Mike!” I smiled, “I better get to work, I have a meeting with a student soon!” I paused as I turned to walk into my office. “Jess, you might benefit from taking your own advice sometime.” I smiled. Her eyes went wide before she shot me a quick glare. I just shrugged and turned back to my office. 

I settled at my desk and pulled up my appointment schedule for the day. We didn’t have a student working with us in the office this morning like we normally did, so I wouldn’t have someone to write my hall passes for my students. Instead I’d have to call the teachers for whatever class they’re in and have them excused to my office. 

My first Student was a sophomore, Elsie. I quickly checked her class schedule and smiled to myself. She was in Logan’s first period class. He’d come to me last year because he was concerned about her. Since then she and I have been meeting regularly almost every week. I picked up my office phone and dialed the number for Sy’s classroom. I hate to admit I had it memorized. 

“Coaches class!” one of his students answered. Likely one of the boys on his team. 

“Uh Huh and is Mr. Syverson available?” I asked, holding back a chuckle. 

“Is this Ms. P? Coach is actually busy teaching us about dead people, he doesn’t have time for personal calls. But, I can take a message!” I heard giggles in the background and then a gruff voice. 

“Matt get back in your seat before I send you to the office, you know nobody sits at my desk! ” There was a collective oooohhh in the background.

“Sorry coach, your girlfriend called, figured you wouldn’t wanna miss it!” Matt chuckled. Sy’s voice however was considerably less lighthearted.  

“Donovan you got 5 seconds to hand me the phone and get back to your seat. Or you’ll be visiting the dean… and running the laps you already owe me.” He barked. 

“Sorry sir,” He mumbled. And I heard movement on the other end of the receiver. 

“Syverson,” he answered plainly 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sound so mundane,” I giggled. 

“What can I do for you Ms. Plummer?” He asked, ignoring my statement clearly trying to remain professional and get a hold on his classroom that was clearly trying to listen in on the conversation. 

“You didn’t have to be so hard on him you know,” I said, I knew he couldn’t respond to that, not with the kids paying attention. Wow maybe they really did know we had a thing between the two of us. “Anyway, have you done your roll call already?” I asked. 

“I have…” He trailed off with a question in his tone. 

“Great! I have a meeting with Ms. Elsie this morning. Is she with you?” I asked. I knew the answer but I was drawing this out just to hear his voice a little longer. I hate to admit I missed him already. 

“Yes, Ma’am she is,” he answered. 

“Can you send her my way?” I smiled. 

“I can do that, “ He said, his voice a bit softer now. A little more at ease. I had one more thing I needed to ask him though. 

“One more question, are you free Thursday evening?” I asked quickly. He paused his breath, sounding steady over the receiver. 

“I might be,” He said skeptically. 

“Well, If you find that you are, Two of my friends and I  meet for dinner on Thursday nights. I thought if you weren’t busy you could join us and meet them?”  he let out a breath and I could almost hear his smile. 

“I can do that too!” he said with a soft chuckle. 

“Alright well, as much as I hate to hang up I suppose we both have jobs to do. I’ll talk to you later, Have a good day… Mr. Syverson.” I teased. 

“Have a good day Ms. Plummer,” He spoke softly before we hung up. 

I looked up from my desk and Jess was still talking to Mike. I smiled to myself. Gosh these two

About 5 minutes later I looked up when I heard Elsie’s voice. She stopped to check in with Jess. She sounded timid. That made sense. Mike was still in the office “Making copies” and standing at the desk. Although he was an extremely gentle and kind person, I’ve noticed the students seem a little intimidated by him as well, I think it’s his height. The man is easily 6’2 at least.  

Regardless, he gives her a warm smile when she approaches the desk. 

“Good Morning Elsie.” He greets her. I watch from my office. She smiles shyly and mumbles back a quiet 

“Hi Mr Gilbert,” She looks at Jess and before she can speak Jess smiles. 

“I’ve got you checked in Hon! Happy to see you this Morning Elsie.”  she adds. Before Jess can tell her to take a seat I stand and call her into my office. 

“Hey girl!” I greet her, “go ahead and take a seat, how was your weekend?” I asked. She sat on the edge of the chair on the other side of my desk. Okay, anxious this morning. 

“It was okay,” she answered. I nod sitting back in my chair. I keep my face soft. 

“Just okay? Is there anything significant that stands out you wanna talk about?” she shakes her head slouching in the seat a bit. I didn’t want to push her. But she’d been doing so well. Lately though, our last few appointments she was closing off to me again. I nodded

“Okay, well last time you told me you’d started keeping a journal, have you kept up with that?” I asked. 

“Yeah, I actually really like it. It…uh…  helps me organize what I'm feeling.” she responds. 

“Good I always liked to journal too. It always helped when I felt like I could tell someone, at least I could write it out. But Elsie, if there is something going on, that’s what I’m here for okay?” she nodded. 

“Ms Plummer, when you were in high school did you ever feel like… your friends just didn’t actually like you?” She asked me. I wasn’t expecting  the question. I thought to myself for a moment. I knew the answer but I wanted to be careful how I responded. 

“I did, I had some friends that I felt really didn’t care. I was the punchline of all of their jokes. There’s this video from when I was in school.  One of my friends had peaches at lunch and she thought it would be funny to throw one at my face.She kept asking if she could do it. I finally just told her she could so she’d stop. And then two of my other friends took videos of it. It ended up online and of course I just laughed it off. But when she actually threw it my crush was walking by. I don’t know if he saw it, I was too embarrassed to look. I never told them how it made me feel, I felt like they should’ve just known not to do that,” I explained. “But on the other hand I had friends that really cared for me. I found out I had anxiety and depression when I was in high school. I may not have if I didn’t have a friend who constantly encouraged me to see our counselor because he was worried about me.” She nodded

“I think I understand what you’re saying. It really  sucks that your friends couldn’t see they were hurting you.” she sighs. “But how do you know if someone actually cares? There’s so many fake people and I feel like I can’t trust anyone.” There it is. 

“Why is that?” I asked her. 

“I just don’t feel like anyone really means it, I don’t know like… my brain keeps telling me they’re just there because they have to be or something,” she sighs, looking down at her hands in her lap. 

“I understand, I’ve felt that way too. I still do sometimes. Anxiety is funny like that.” I explained. 

“Is that what you think is wrong with me? Anxiety?” she asked. The look on her face broke my heart. She worried her lip between her teeth for a moment. Her wide eyes scared, like I thought she was broken. 

“Elsie, I don’t think anything is wrong with you.” I told her, “Everyone has some anxiety. Actors, musicians, athletes, politicians, everyone. Even people in the military, like Mr Syverson. Some have worse anxiety than others but it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. You just have to learn how to … cope with it.” she nods, taking in all the information I’d just given her. I still don’t think she’s convinced. Unfortunately I think it’s something she’ll have to experience herself. This was one of those moments I wish I had gone further in school. That I was more than just a guidance counselor and I could do more than just empathize with her. But I wasn’t licensed for therapy. This… was the best I could do of her. 

“Like a release? Some way of shutting your brain off?” she asked 

“Sort of, the writing is a good start, a release of that emotion, to help you understand it better, does that make sense?” she nodded again. “Good, well try to keep up with that. You’ve been doing really well. Thank you for coming to meet with me again and if you need anything,” I stressed,  “Before you see me again don’t hesitate to stop in okay?” I said. Again she nods. 

“Thank you Ms. Plummer.” she said and stood to leave. She pauses in the doorway. “Do you… want me to tell Mr. Syverson, you say hello?” She blushed. “Everyone’s talking about it.” she blushed. 

“If you’re comfortable with that, sure” I smiled. 

“Are you two.. really together? Is it okay if I ask?” I nodded 

“I don’t mind you asking hun, Mr. Syverson and I… are… dating. It's new but yes.” I told her, blushing a bit myself. She smiled now. 

“I think you two make a great couple, he really cares about us too. At first I was afraid he was just gonna care about the jocks, like some of the other teachers. But he checks on me sometimes, like he knows I don’t like to be called on in class but he makes a point to tell me to have a good day if I’m one of the last one’s in the room. It’s really nice. I don’t know that I can ever find someone who cares like he does. But I’m glad you did. You deserve it Ms. Plummer.” I felt my eyes start to well up with tears and I had to wipe them away quickly. 

“You deserve that too Elsie, Please don’t forget that.” She nodded and shrugged her shoulders. 

“I’ll… see you next week.” she says before leaving my office. The day went on, whoever’s idea it was to have a department meeting on a Monday afternoon is on my shit list. But I made it through the day, still extremely exhausted but I survived nonetheless. 

I felt a presence while I was packing up at the end of the day. I looked up to see Logan leaning against the doorframe watching me with a grin. 

“What time do I need to pick you up Thursday night?” He asked, walking in and grabbing my bag for me. 

“I can get that, Logan,” I smiled. 

“That’s not what I asked,” He smirked. 

“We usually do dinner around 6 so maybe 5:30? I take it that means you're coming?” I asked anxiously. 

“I’ve always got time for you, sugar,” He said, following me out as I locked up my office for the night. 

“Would you stop making me wanna kiss you in inappropriate settings!” I groaned. He chuckled. And pulled me close by my waist as we walked out of the guidance office. Logan leaned in kissing my cheek and let his lips linger against my ear. 

“Nope, I like doing inappropriate things with you. Maybe I’ll take you in my office. Bend you over my desk.  Or maybe lay you down on your desk after school gets out. Since you love to tease me so much.” He smirked against my skin. He quickly kissed the side of my head and stood up straight as if he hadn’t just whispered the most filthy things in my ear. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I stuttered. We walked out the back toward the faculty parking lot and he chuckled. 

“That phone call this morning was real cute, Darlin. Putting me on the spot in front of the kids like that.” He said. 

“You mean asking you to come to dinner with my friends?” I laughed. 

“Listen to you, sounding all innocent, like you didn’t ask me on a date in the middle of class. You had me flustered all morning.” He pouted. When we reached my car he set my bag down and backed me up against it. It reminded me of the night we first kissed in this parking lot. I smiled softly and grabbed his face in my hands. 

“I’m sorry Sy, I didn’t think it would throw you off. It was just on my mind.” I softly scratched the hair at the back of his neck and watched his eyes almost roll back. 

“Mmm,” He hummed. “I shoulda came down there and reminded you what happens to bratty little girls.” He teased . My thighs clenched at his words. God he could be so filthy. I couldn’t believe he was talking like that out here. But we were alone. And he did say I drove him crazy. I guess he meant it. 

I dragged my hand down from his neck to his chest looking up at him innocently. I couldn’t help myself. 

“Why don’t you  come over tonight and help me remember?” I bit my lip. I wasn’t feeling as bold as I thought. Logan let out a hard chuckle and shook his head. He cupped my cheek and kissed me softly. I chased his lips as he pulled away but he stopped me. 

“Easy baby, I’d love to, but we both agreed it’d be smart to slow this down. You just left my place yesterday.” He laughed again. I sighed and pouted. 

“I know,” I said. “ I just like being close to you, and today was hard.” He gave me a gentle smile and leaned in kissing my forehead. 

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked. I shook my head. 

“No, just worried about one of our students, it's … I’ll be okay.. I should let you get ready for practice.” I said. 

“Okay baby, well how about I come stay with you after dinner Thursday night?” He asked, still holding my waist, not quite ready to let go. 

“I’d love that! You could bring Aika! My backyard is fenced in!” I said excitedly. He smiled

“Alright it’s settled then. I’ll call you when I get out of practice, baby, and I’ll see you at 5:30 on Thursday.” He said. And kissed me passionately one more time. I bit my lip and nodded. He picked up my bag and put it in the car for me. 

“I’ll see you then,” I said before he stepped back and let me go to get in the car. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was 5:20 Thursday evening. I was so nervous. Not about seeing Sy. But about him actually meeting my friends. I know he’s a great guy! And they know he’s been good to me but I have this knot of fear in my stomach so twisted, worried this won’t go well. I’d put my hair up and taken it back down for the 3rd time and was finally putting on my shoes. There's a knock on my door.  

I ran over and opened it, Logan was standing there with flowers in one hand and Aika on her lead in the other. 

“Hey you!” I smiled and leaned in to kiss him quickly. “Those for me?” I nodded to the flowers and he grinned handing them over. 

“Of course they are. Couldn’t show up empty handed.” He said as I moved to the side to let him and the dog in. 

“Sometimes I swear you’re like…. Written by a romance author or something. They don’t make ‘em like you anymore.” He laughs out loud and pulls me in again, kissing me more passionately this time while we let Aika roam around the house. 

“Written just for you baby,” He teased. I blushed and turned to pet Aika. 

“You’re sure she’ll be okay while we’re gone?” I asked. He nodded.

“She’s a good dog. She’s used to traveling with me. She’ll be alright,” He said. I nodded but pouted a little. 

“I still feel bad leaving her.” I sigh.

“We’ll only be gone a little over an hour baby, she’ll probably just watch out the window for a while and sleep.” he chuckled. 

“Okay,” I conceded. He raised an eyebrow. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his eyes were soft as they scanned mine. His head tilted to the side like a confused puppy. 

“Its noth..” I started, but the look on his face called bullshit before I could finish the sentence. It was incredible to me how his eyes could go from soft, to stern in a matter of a second. He was good at that. 

“Now, don’t lie to me darlin’. That ain’t gonna fix anything.” He said. I let out another breath. 

“I’m just anxious, about tonight, nervous. I don’t have any reason to be. I guess, my anxiety is sneaking up on me again. We should just go. It’ll be fine.” I explained. I pulled the curtains open so Aika could look out the window. I avoided Logan’s eyes as I went to grab my purse. 

“Baby, slow down.” he stopped me. We walked outside and stood on my porch for a moment. “Talk to me. What’s going through that pretty little head of yours?” He asked. I sat down on the step suddenly feeling exhausted. 

“This week has been rough, I was so excited on Monday when I invited you out. But as it got closer I just kept feeling more anxious about it. Not that I think they won’t like you, or you won’t like them. I don’t know. I just keep picturing all the ways this could go wrong. It’s just dinner. That’s so stupid!” I groaned, arguing with myself. Logan stepped off the porch crouching in front of me.

“Alright, I’m gonna put a stop to this right now. It’s not stupid, or dumb, or inconvenient that you’re feeling a little nervous. You know that. It’s what you tell the kids all day. If you need someone to remind you of that too, that’s what I’m here for.” He said lifting my chin to meet his gaze Shit I’m a little nervous about tonight too. I told ya I was a little hellion, I wasn’t the kinda guy girls wanted their friends to meet. I’m proud to be someone you wanna show off. But it makes me nervous.” He admitted. I grabbed his face and kissed him again. 

“Thank you Logan, for always… understanding.” He smiled and stood up holding out his hand for me to take. He led me to the truck and opened my door. 

“Come on, we’ll do this together,” he said.

At the restaurant the girls had just gotten a table when we walked in. I think Logan was just trying to show off but he pulled out my chair for me when we sat down. I didn’t miss the look Skyler gave me from across the table when we were all seated. She was impressed. I introduced everyone and we ordered drinks. The girls and I all got a glass of wine and Sy got a beer on tap. This place was honestly a little fancier than our normal Thursday night spot. I think that added to my nerves. But once the conversation started flowing I realized it really was all in my head. 

“So you teach as well as coaching?” Skyler asked. “Do you like teaching?’ I knew this was important to her. She loved kids. Well the little ones anyway. Still this was her way of judging his character. Did he care about all of his students or just his athletes? Of course I knew the answer but I let him take this one

“I love it. I thought coaching was going to be my big passion after the military but I really enjoy working in the schools. And I like teaching history. Especially getting the chance to teach about what I did in the military. I guess that’s a plus.” He smiled and took a long sip of his beer.  

“That’s great, I know for Alayna it’s always been about the students. But I’m glad you both have that in common.” She responded. I nodded. 

“I told you he’s great!” I smiled. Hayley scoffed playfully. 

“He hasn’t proved himself yet buddy,” she laughed. “But he gets bonus points for having a dog.” We all laughed. 

“Do you always have to be so cynical?” I asked her

“It’s only because they love you darlin’” He chuckled. 

“See he gets it!” Hayley added. Skyler nodded. 

“You know it’s out of love, I mean we’ve been rooting for you for so long and you finally found a good man who’s like your first REAL boyfriend you know and we’re happy for you!” She explained. I felt my palms get sweaty. I hadn’t had the chance to explain all of that to Logan yet. I had been avoiding it honestly.

“You deserve the best dude we just wanna make sure you actually used good judgement for once,” Hayley added. She was right, but ow! Maybe I was bad at picking them in the past. I was hoping to hide my baggage long enough that it would just disappear. But apparently my friends were going to make sure that was not the case. We were going to have to have the exes conversation… or rather the lack there of conversation. 

“You’re right!” I laughed it off, Logan smiled pulling me closer to his side. 

“Hell we all make mistakes right? I’m just glad she gave me a chance.” He kissed my cheek. 

The rest of the evening was great. We chatted the girls got to know Sy. They really liked him. And he got a long well with them too. Before we left Logan caught our waitress and told her to put it all on one check, surprising all of us by paying for the bill. The girls thanked him again, and we talked about plans for next week before we officially parted ways. Sy and I got back in his truck and were quiet for a minute before he broke the silence. 

“You feeling better now, honey?” He asked resting his hand on my thigh. I looked over at him and smiled. 

“I am, I feel really good about tonight.” I said. Logan squeezed my thigh softly and took his eyes off the road just a second to smile at me. 

“I’m glad,” He said. Another beat of silence. And then, “So, before me, you never?....” He trailed off. Fuck. Fine I guess we’ll do this now. Sometimes being in a healthy relationship is a real pain in the ass. 

“I mean, I wasn’t… a virgin neccessarily. I honestly wish I had been. None of the boys I did anything with gave two shits about me. But to answer your question… No, before you, I’ve never been with anyone… long term. I wanted to be. But it just never happened.” I explained almost rambling. “What about…you?” I asked hesitantly. He puffed out a long breath 

“Uh, I… hate this…we don’t have to talk about this darlin,” he groaned. 

“You can tell me if it’s a lot, I know I’m kinda lame but surely you got around,”  I bit my lip awkardly.

“It… it’s more than I’d like to admit, then I  had a couple girlfriends in high school. But really nothing serious after I retired from the military. I’ve been ready to finally settle down. Get my head screwed on straight. I don’t think your lame baby, I kinda feel like an ass right now.” He sighed. I put my hand over his squeezing softly. 

“You’re not an ass Logan. I guess we probably should’ve had this conversation already, I always thought it was something wrong with me. Maybe it was my body, I was good enough to have sex with but they didn’t want to be seen with me.  They always just wanted to fuck and leave. No one ever wanted anything serious. Some had tricked me into believing otherwise so I’d give them what they wanted but… yeah… so I just never dated anyone before you.” I looked over and saw Logan’s jaw clenched 

“There ain’t nothing wrong with you baby. You understand me?” He said through gruffly “You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”  I watched him for a moment as he puffed his chest and let out and irritated sigh. I slipped my hand under his tangling our fingers together. 

“I know,” I said softly, “you know why? You’ve shown me how a man should treat a lady. For a long time I was really jaded by the way I was treated in the past. I let it close me off. I didn’t believe anyone could ….actually care about me. But you have. You’ve shown me more real affection in a few weeks than anyone ever has.”  I blushed. We were home then. He parked the truck and tore my seatbelt off pulling me into him. He crashed his lips to mine sucking all the air out of my lungs. His fingers tangled in my hair holding me to him. I whimpered as he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. He let out a feral groan at the taste of me on his tongue. 

I was breathless when he pulled away. Both of us gasping for air. 

“Look at me,” his voice was low and demanding. He never had to demand my attention. He always had it. Still something shook in me at the sound of his voice and my eyes were glue to his. “If I could go back, keep you from the hurt those little boys caused you, I’d do anything. I can’t fix the past, but I can promise you won’t go another day wondering your worth baby, not with me. There’s not an ounce of you I’d want to change darlin.”  I felt like I could melt under his intense gaze. Where the hell did this man come from and how did I end up with him. I bit my lip pondering what to say. But all I wanted was to feel his touch again. And it was getting way too hot in this truck. 

“Show me,” I said finally. He smiled and turned to get out of the truck. I jumped out and hurried to the door I could feel the heat of his body behind me as I unlocked the door. We walked in and Sy shut the door behind us. I had expected the dog to greet us but she’d put herself to bed in her kennel peacefully taking a nap. I threw my purse down on the counter and before I could think to turn around Logan’s hands were on me. He spun me to face him. Our lips met again instantly. I whined against his lips so needy to feel his skin. I pulled at his shirt and he chuckled pulling away to throw it on the ground I pulled off my sweater following suit. He pulled me back in kissing me roughly and pulling away to nip at my neck. I moaned softly gripping his shoulders as he lifted me up onto the counter. He slotted himself between my legs and ground his hard cock against me, letting out a low growl in my ear. 

“You want me to show you how bad I need you baby, you feel what you do to me?” he groaned. 

“Sy please,” I begged. I couldn’t take his teasing. I just needed to be close to him. To feel him inside me. I felt his hands slide down to the waist of my leggings and I lifted my hips so he could pull them off with my panties. He pulled me to the edge of the counter kissing my my chest and down my stomach. I whimpered softly, 

“Just gotta taste you, baby,” He moaned. Then he dipped his head between my thighs licking up my slit and sucking my clit into his mouth. I let out a loud moan arching my back and trying to get closer. He was relentless. Like a man starved licking my pussy and pushing his tongue inside me. Too quickly the pleasure started to build. And when he brushed his thumb over my clit in little circles I tumbled over the edge. 

“Fuck you always taste so good,” He groaned standing back up and shedding his jeans and boxers. He grabbed my hip and pushed into me slowly. My eyes met his again, as he watched my face. I couldn’t contain my moans when he was fully sheathed inside me. My head fell back my teeth sinking into my bottom lip trying to gain some semblance of control. “So pretty when I fuck you.” He moaned as I started to thrust. He attached his lips back to my neck and bit down on my shoulder.

“Fuck yes,” I moaned meeting his thrusts as he sped up. 

“I want this, I want you, all of you baby,” He growled in my ear. “So fucking perfect, I love the way you take me.” he encouraged bringing his thumb back to my clit. I gripped his shoulders feeling the pressure build again. 

“Logan,” I breathed.

“That’s it, I love it when cum for me baby, let me feel it.” he moaned. That’s all it took for me to cum again. His name on my lips like a prayer. Logan followed right behind me thrusting hard one last time and emptying himself inside me. 

We stayed there connected for a moment. Breathing heavy, holding each other. 

When Logan pulled away he helped me off the counter, he cupped my face kissing me softly. 

We got cleaned up, showering together before settling down for the night. I was in his T-shirt, head laying on his chest finally cozy in bed.

“Sy,” I said softly. 

“Hmmm,” He hummed, he was slowly brushing his fingers up and down my back. I raised my head to look at him. 

“I…I think I…” I paused trying to form the words. 

“I know,” he said. “I think I do too.” I smiled laying my head back down I laid awake for a while until I noticed soft snores coming from him. I giggled to myself, and closed my eyes. Yeah, I thought… I really think I do. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list <3

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[ageravena]

You know what, the Fairly OddParents fandom has been quite tame. Let's spice things up a little bit.

Doesn't anybody else get that silly feeling when you see fanart of Peri being like a father to Dev, like... where's the rest of you 😍? Don't be shy, show us where Dale is. Or are you too scared? (I wouldn't blame you, I was too at first)

Small warning: this post includes slight swearing and many brain-numbing headcanons. I'm not responsible for any mental anguish you may experience

I would like to quickly apologize to the 6 people shipping Peri with Dale. I thought I was the only one but it seems like I've finally found my people. Anyways, back to the topic.

Now that you're here, I may as well show some more art of these two goobers +some silly headcanons. These are my AUed* versions of the two in my odd semi-realistic style that I completely ditch whenever I don't have the patience to draw faces (I often suck at drawing them. No wonder all my OCs are furries)

Note: him being slightly chubby and him having mobility issues are both headcanons I have shamelessly borrowed from others in the fandom. Also am I the only one who thinks Peri WOULDN'T be 6 ft tall? In the series he's like 5 apples tall, so wouldn't it make sense for him to be a bit short?

Note: there's like a bunch of lore explaining the reason why Dale looks so fucked up in my version. I scarred him for life, oopsie! But at least he has Peri now who "forces" him to go to therapy 😍. I may need to make a seperate post where I only talk about him and his past if I have the motivation.

I know a lot of you don't even know the pain of trying to convert a stylized character into a realistic style and still making them look good and kinda recognizable. I envy you who have less realistic art styles.

*And yes, I did say AU. More specifically I'm talking about the "Missionaries of Eden AU" (by me). I'm not gonna go into detail now, but basically it's a semi-biblical and more serious take on FOP, where the fairies are angels, anti-fairies are demons and pixies... I think they can stay as pixies, or maybe they're ghosts, bees? (There's a lot of things I still need to figure out) Their tasks are to work as missionaries on the planets of Eden (planets where life exists). There's a bunch of other lore (some of which I've explained on my casual/personal account on Instagram), but it's best I leave it for another time.

Btw: if you've seen me talk about a "Below the Stars AU", "Bible AU", "Ager DLC" or something else, it's all just the same thing. I just had a hard time coming up with a good name for it lol.

Also speaking of which, I have another post coming up (hopefully) where I explain my reasons for shipping Peri and Dale. It can honestly, out of context, seem like a toxic yaoi crack ship, but believe it or not but I managed to make it the opposite; plausible AND healthy. I want to enlighten you all plus I really want to yap about them.

It feels super funny to ship such a underrated ship. I'm used to shipping semi-popular ships, so to now be all alone feels kinda fun! They have so much potential and so few are seeing the vision?? Though to be fair I'm also glad it's not that famous lmao.

Ps. Ignore the fact I haven't posted anything here for at least half-a-year. All my mutuals are on Instagram, so I don't have a need to post here, though now I've decided to dedicate this account to hyperfixation slop so maybe you'll be hearing from me much sooner.

Ps. Ps. I currently have a 22-page-long google doc filled with lore and info about almost everything I've thought of for the AU, but it's 80% in Finnish so sharing it is useless.

Man, I love writing unnecessary long posts knowing I'm the only one reading them❤️😍 though if you HAVE gotten this far, here's a little treat:

My body refuses to draw Dale in his original outfit. I like to pretend Peri helped him change a bit (most notably taking off his goddamn shoes, though they do have some lore that I've created. GGHHRRAAA EVERYTHING HAS LORE ATTACHED TO IT GRRRR). Also Dev isn't actually grumpy, he just likes to act tough.

My art style looks probably so inconsistent❤️

[sinnerbanshee]

NakedToaster x Fem Aligned Reader

(fem aligned as in female genitals and body, but they/them pronouns [may right a transmasc version as well]) (Please give me all your feedback!!) (also idk what to headcanon his name as soo)

18+, MINORS + AGELESS BLOGS DNI

Summary: Your husband Toaster and you have been together for 6 years, married for 1. A couple weeks ago you both talked about adding something new in the bedroom, and you both love it.

WARNINGS: Pegging, afab reader

2747 Words, 7 Pages on Google Docs

Tonight will be fun.

You and Toaster (your pretty husband) had previously talked about trying pegging. He was sorta against it at first, but after a long discussion of safewords, color codes, and other safety measures, he felt reassured you would take care of him just fine.

Only issue, this man was a virgin, like hardcore, most he’s ever done prior to you was maybe a kiss on a dare. Though, you both had gotten quite comfortable in the bedroom after you moved in together, all new experiences come with nerves, and that was okay.

Tonight would be taken slow, no matter how much you both got excited, slow.

You had already gone out and bought everything, with his input of course. Though, you did have fun picking out a rainbow strap on harness, why decide on one color when you can get them all?

Anywho, you both decided on an average 6.5 inch pink silicone toy, and some gummy bear lube (you thought it added a fun touch to everything since it was edible and smelled nice).

The silicone would be easy to clean provided you got some cleaner from the store, and the length would hopefully be more comfortable for Toaster than anything else. (though you wanted to get something his length, you decided to keep your evil plans to yourself…..till a later date)

After getting home, your precious lover was out on a grocery run, you had run out of coffee and since you both live on that it’s kinda needed.

The bed had fresh sheets-a nice but cheap pair that you wouldn’t have to worry about ruining-and even got some nice calming candles and room spray, knowing that afterwards the smell of sweat would be prominent.

 The bathroom had some new soaps and some gentle wash clothes since you knew you’d both probably be sore.

Now you just wait for him to get home….which would be another….2 hours.

God you forget sending him out to shop on his own can be a mess, you should’ve just both gone with to the stores, save time. But you also wanted to surprise him with something nice, be sweet and as attentive as he is. God, he’s so sweet, so nice to you, you were so worried he wouldn’t like the surprise.

You know he’d love anything you planned, he always does, even when you fucked up his birthday party that one year because you forgot to get any treats other than the normal food.

The nerves just wouldn’t go away, you had double, triple, quadruple checked hell, you think you went over everything 6 times even.

And then you heard it, his keys turning the door to your little house, you basically ran, tripping down the stairs, to get there before he opened it.

Thankfully you didn’t face plant and beat him to opening the door.

You were smiling wide despite the sweat on your neck, the robe you both previously got on your honeymoon in California, slightly less than perfect as you’d like it, but it’s fine.

He gently kisses your cheek and chuckles at your slightly disheveled hair as he carries the groceries to the kitchen as you follow him like a lost puppy. 

“I got coffee, and a couple sweet treats, I noticed your stash running low so I just got basically everything I know you like.” He blushed a bit, even after dating for multiple years and being married for 1, he could barely keep track of all the candy you liked.

“Oh! You didn’t need to do that honey, I was gonna get some on my way to work tomorrow”

Toaster sets the bags down and turns around, placing his hands gently on your sides as he leans down to gently kiss you.

“I wanted to treat you, I know work hasn’t been the best and I know you treats are one of the many things you look forward to when you get home and…”

He trails off as he looks away nervously, even after all these years he’s so nervous and it’s so cute to you how he’s always so shy after so long.

“Well thank you baby, I appreciate it”

You smile wide and lean into his touch, leaning your head on his chest as you both sway side to side for a couple of minutes in comfortable silence. Times like these were nice, quiet and sweet moments where you’re both just enjoying the other’s company and presence.

He stops swaying and looks down at you again.

“So, I was told you have my surprise ready, yeah?”

Now it was your turn to blush, a slight pink hue came to your cheeks as you nodded and took his hand, gently leading him up to your shared bedroom leaving the grocery bags long forgotten.

As you both entered the room, the candles were lit, a slight scent of lavender and roses went through the air, the bed was made nicely and everything was set on it, your strap on, the lube, even a condom just to be safe and make him comfortable.

You both blush, him more so as he looks at everything, lord, he’s so cute, you can’t wait to enjoy this with him.

“I-I know we talked about it earlier this month, and figured since you had the day off, and we’ve both been busy with work, that we could…have a little f-fun”

The stutter in your voice wasn’t meant to be there, but lord above you couldn’t stop your heart from beating so fast, nor could you stop the adrenaline pumping through your veins, you felt so excited yet nervous. As a couple minutes pass by you look over at your lover, trying to read his expression and body language, though, that wasn’t hard at all when you looked downwards.

He was obviously as excited as you were.

“I-....wow”

He was speechless and you hoped it was the good kind, you gently step in front of him and let your robe slip off, revealing a pastel pink lingerie set, with everything except for the matching underwear.

“I wanted to have some fun, and was hoping this was okay”

You look at him and he nods, swallowing the lump in his throat as he steps toward you, looking you up and down to appreciate the thin lace and silk of your lingerie.

“Y-Yes, I was actually gonna ask about when we would uh….d-do this”

He fidgets, desperately trying to adjust his jeans to try and be more comfortable.

You smile and kiss him gently but with passion as your hands trail down his sides and to his front, slowly unzipping and unbuttoning his pants before eagerly getting on your knees to pull them down with his boxers.

“I’m glad, I wanted to treat you just as well as you treat me”

As you look up for a second you smile and then work on his pants, teasingly pulling them down before happily kissing his lower stomach down his happy trail to his cock.

“I want you to know I love you just as much as you love me, I love seeing you so cute and so shy, and I love how nice and sweet you always are”

His eyes are intently watching you as you gently kiss his lower regions, leaving the occasional lick here and there to tease him. 

God, you enjoyed his eyes on you so much. It was exhilarating knowing how intently he paid attention to you all the time.

You make eye contact, his face and neck flushed a light pink as you slowly push his member inside your mouth, letting out a small hum of content before bobbing your head up and down slowly.

The soft groans he let out were so nice, he was barely ever vocal, no matter how much you told him you loved his voice. You hope you can make him louder.

You pull back and gently kiss his tip before standing up and gently running your hands up and down his sides.

“Get undressed, please?”

You smile softly at him and he nods, not wasting too much time as he strips down, letting you look at him in all his naked glory, no matter if he had scars, tattoos, piercings, his body would look perfect to you, no matter what.

You kiss every single mole and freckle he has on his body, cherishing him as he does you and you run your hands over his inner thighs before standing up and kissing him eagerly, him kissing back with just as much passion.

His hands copy yours almost exactly as he runs them all over your body as much as he can.

You gently step backwards to lead him to the bed, pushing the items set over to the side as you pat a spot for him to sit.

He complies and sits down, still slightly nervous as he tries to look everywhere but down at himself, knowing he is as excited as you are, and it’s showing very much.

You get on your knees again in front of him and set your hands gently on his thighs.

“To go over, you remember the safe word, and colors right love?”

He nods before responding.

“Strawberry, green for I’m fine, yellow for slow down, and red to stop completely”

I nod and kiss his inner thighs.

“Correct, now don’t get nervous or scared to say anything, I am here to take care of and love you, and if that means stopping for a break or even for the night, I am fine with it. I just want you to be comfortable and okay with everything we do”

He smiles softly and nods as he looks at you, love and adoration in his eyes.

You sit up and grab the strap on and lube.

“Now, I also know we talked about you enjoying yourself prior to this so you know whether you like it or not”

His face goes almost bright red when remembering the talk as he nods.

“Have you?”

He chuckles nervously.

“Y-Yes, I uh….bought some things a couple days ago to make sure I was comfortable with e-everything”

You smile wide at him, a mischievous glint in your eye.

“And?...”

You trail off as you make eye contact with one another.

“I-I enjoyed it….a lot”

You giggle softly and gently caress his thigh.

“Good, do you wanna do full on prep or just some since you’re okay with it”

“Just a l-little”

You stand up and gesture to him to lay down and turn over, as he complies he arches his back a bit so his hips are higher.

You give a slight slap that makes him jump a little before grabbing the lube and putting some on your fingers, slowly inserting 2.

“Cold baby”

He lets out a soft moan, gripping the sheets at the slight stretch feeling, tensing up slightly and shivering from how cold the lube is.

As you slowly move your fingers in and out you feel him relax more and let out slightly louder moans.

You lean down and gently kiss down his back, admiring his freckles that are splattered all over him, they are beautiful, almost like stars against his skin.

Your free hand, not covered in the sticky lube gently traced up his back, down his side, and to his front before slowly and teasingly jerking him off.

As his moans get louder your hands speed up. 

You stop just before he’s able to cum, both of you panting as you lick the hand that was on his dick clean of the pre that leaked, not bothering to wipe the other one off as you grab the strap on.

As you put on the harness, you move your lingerie out of the way, don't wanna get it too dirty before you can wear it a second time. 

You gently caress Toaster’s back again as you grab the lube to cover a good half of the blue dildo, using your free hand to jerk the silicone so it was evenly coated. 

Slowly you lined your hips up with his before gently putting your hands on either of his sides.

“Ready babe?”

He nodded and you leaned down to kiss the back of his neck.

“Words honey, you know the rules we talked about.”

He shuddered a bit, most definitely not used to you being the dominant one, you could tell he was blushing, the back of his neck was slightly pink and heated up.

“Y-Yes”

Your hips slowly press into his, the slicked up silicone of the dildo slowly being pushed inside him as you both slightly tense up, you more so because he tensed than anything else.

Once bottomed out, you rubbing soothing circles on his sides and gently leave kisses, licks, small nips down his back as he starts to relax.

You watch as his back arches, pushing his hips impossibly close to yours, it almost made you giggle.

His legs shook slightly, obviously not used to being in this position as he took shaky breathes.

“F-Feels deep….is this what i-it’s like when I…” He trails off, the rest of his question obvious as you slowly start moving your hips, slowly and gently thrusting in and out of him.

“Actually, it’s deeper for me, but youuuu, didn’t wanna get one that’s your length”

You playfully smack his ass.

“Honestly if this feels deep? I think your length reallyyy would have you being loud”

The thought of him being the one screaming instead of you sounded nice as hell. Other than the fact your neighbors would be pissed off again.

Your hips keep moving, steadily picking up pace until you’re pulling his hips to meet yours at a nice and steady pace.

The harness was doing wonders for you, it had some nubs built into the actual genital area, while you’re pretty sure it’s to help keep it from slipping off too easily. Those little plastic nubs were working wonders on your clit. 

It wasn’t long before you both were being loud as fuck, between Toasty getting jerked off and pegged, and the harness rubbing against all the right spots on you. Y’all could probably wake the whole town. (If you hadn’t already)

After a couple minutes of the steady pace, as you get closer to your release you speed up, hips practically snapping against his as lewd squelching noises could be heard.

Your hand followed the quick pace your hips set as best as you can, you hear him whimper as his hips buck into your hand, his cum coating your hand and the sheets under him as his legs all but give out.

Seeing him cum from you like this made you speed up, his soft moans and whimpers spurring you on until the harness around your pelvis was covered in your own juices.

Your hips slow to a halt, the dildo bottomed out inside Toaster as you lean down and greedily kiss him as your hands wonder over his sweaty and sticky body.

After a couple minutes of making out, you both needed air, so you pulled back. You slowly pull out of him, hearing a soft groan as he finally lets his body go limp, closing his eyes.

As you slowly take the harness off and kinda waddle to the bathroom, your legs almost like jelly. Now you understand why Toasty lays in bed for a couple before cleaning you off.

You grab one of the new soft washcloths and wet it with warm water and the littlest bit of soap as you waddle back to the room.

Gently, you run the washcloth over Toaster’s body, occasionally going over a spot twice if you felt it needed it. After all the sticky lube and his cum were cleaned off him, you wiped yourself clean and threw the towel into the towel basket, putting away the strap on and everything else you then got comfy next to your lovely husband.

You gently kiss his forehead.

“Baby, you awake?”

He makes a soft groan in acknowledgment back at you, his eyes still closed. You giggle softly and cuddle close to him, closing your own eyes.

“I love you, Toasty” He hums and you see him smile tiredly.

“Love you too honey”

You take his glasses off and put them up, both of you falling asleep comfortably holding the other.

(Please lmk what y'all think, first time writing in this new style and also my first pegging and first fluffy smut)

[wyllzel]

🔗 Link to Google Doc.

This is how I built Wyll in my Origin Wyll playthrough. This keeps Wyll in his canon Warlock class, while also ensuring he’s handy with his trusty rapier.

The vibe of this Warlock is a spellcaster (Eldritch Blast, AOE, and Enchantment spells) with good melee action. (Very gishy! 👽) The goal is to build up both Arcane Synergy and Arcane Acuity.

Leveling up is fairly flexible, so the focus for this guide is on gear interaction. Key pieces of gear include the Ring of Arcane Synergy (Act 1), Helmet of Arcane Acuity (Act 2), and Band of the Mystic Scoundrel (Act 3).

Overall, this is a fairly standard Fiend Bladelock build, and is not so much an “end all, be all” as it is a basic (but strategic!) approach.

(Fair warning: Possible spoilers ahead!)

Leveling

Please note that this guide is really just my personal preference! I recommend fully reading through the Wiki page on BG3’s Warlock so you get a good idea of what this class can do. In this guide, I’ve added a star (⭐) next to each of the class features or spells that I especially like.

To start with, this is my Wyll’s base stats:

Since Pact of the Blade Warlock’s “Bind Pact Weapon” feature scales weapon Attack Rolls and Damage Rolls off your spellcasting modifier, I recommend heavily prioritizing Charisma. The Warlock class becomes very SAD (Single Ability Dependent) with Charisma which is very convenient.

I prioritized Dexterity after Charisma because your Dexterity modifier affects your Initiative – and the higher your Initiative, the easier it is to get a leg up in combat. Additionally, your Dexterity modifier is added to your AC (when wearing Robes or Light Armor, which this build will be utilizing).

The next prioritized stat is Constitution, which is good for maintaining Concentration spells as well as boosting your total HP.

Level 1

One Level 1 Warlock Spell slot

Select:

Subclass: The Fiend

Two Cantrips: ELDRITCH BLAST 💥, Minor Illusion ⭐

Two Warlock spells (Level 1): Hellish Rebuke, Command

The Fiend subclass gives you:

Dark One’s Blessing (Temporary bonus HP when you kill a hostile creature)

Access to the Spells: Burning Hands, Command

Eldritch Blast genuinely solves any and all problems. (Force Damage is especially good in BG3, where 99% of your enemies do not have Force Resistance.) And Minor Illusion is a really good utility spell – especially if you’re into barrelmancy and need a safe and reliable method to cluster enemies.

The added HP from Dark One’s Blessing is really good, especially in earlier levels (Act 1) when your party is extremely squishy.

Level 2

Two Level 1 Warlock Spell slots

Select:

Eldritch Invocations: Agonizing Blast, Repelling Blast ⭐

One Warlock Spell (Level 1): Armour of Agathys

Replace a Spell: N/A

Level 3

Improved Warlock Spell Slots: Warlock Spells are now Level 2

Select:

Pact Boon: Pact of the Blade

One Warlock Spell (Level 2): Cloud of Daggers

Replace a Spell: Armour of Agathys → Hold Person

Level 4

Select:

Feat: Ability Improvement (ASI) = +1 CHA, +1 DEX ⭐

One Cantrip: Mage Hand

One Warlock Spell (Level 2): Shatter

Replace a Spell: N/A

Level 5

Deepened Pact: Pact of the Blade → Gain an Extra Attack with your weapon ⭐

Scaling Cantrips (ie., Eldritch Blast fires an additional beam) ⭐

Improved Warlock Spell Slots: Warlock Spells are now Level 3

Select:

One Eldritch Invocation: Devil’s Sight ⭐

One Warlock Spell (Level 3): Hunger of Hadar ⭐

Replace a Spell: Hellish Rebuke → Counterspell

The Fiend subclass gives you:

Access to the Spells: Fireball, Stinking Cloud

Level 6

Select:

One Warlock Spell (Level 3): Fireball

Replace a Spell: N/A

The Fiend subclass gives you:

Dark One’s Own Luck: Add +1d10 to an Ability Check once per Short Rest

Level 7

Improved Warlock Spell Slots: Warlock Spells are now Level 4

Select:

One Warlock Spell (Level 4): Banishment

Replace a Spell: Cloud of Daggers → Wall of Fire

Eldritch Invocation: Armour of Shadows ⭐

Armor of Shadows is excellent if you’re wearing robes. Because you’ll probably be wearing the Potent Robe at this point (early Act 2), this Invocation is particularly useful.

Level 8

Select:

Feat: ASI +2 to Charisma

One Warlock Spell (Level 4): Fear

Replace a Spell: N/A

Alternative Feats:

You may want to consider Alert to get the jump on enemies, especially when playing in Honor Mode. 

War Caster is a good idea if you plan to lean heavily on Concentration Spells such as Hunger of Hadar or Wall of Fire. 

Another good Feat for Concentration Spells is Resilient, which you’d take for Constitution. However, your initial Ability Score numbers would probably look different than how I have mine set up!

Spell Sniper is fun if you plan to lean heavily on Attack Roll spells – like Eldritch Blasts!

Level 9

Improved Warlock Spell Slots: Warlock Spells are now Level 5

Select:

One Warlock Spell (Level 5): Hold Monster ⭐

Replace a Spell: N/A

Eldritch Invocation: Life Drinker ⭐

Hold Monster is extremely useful in Act 3, where a lot of the major bosses you face (Orin in her Slayer form, Raphael, etc.) are Monsters.

Level 10

Scaling Cantrips (ie., Eldritch Blast fires an additional beam) ⭐

Select:

One Warlock Spell (Level 5): Flame Strike

Replace a Spell: N/A

The Fiend subclass gives you:

Fiendish Resilience: Once per Short Rest, choose a Damage Type to become Resistant to

Level 11

Gain an additional Warlock Spell slot (for a total of 3 Warlock Spell slots)

Select:

One Warlock Spell (Level 5): Cone of Cold

Mystic Arcanum: Eyebite

Any of the Mystic Arcanum spells are good, though! I just find that Arcane Gate, Circle of Death, and Flesh to Stone are only useful situationally. Create Undead is good for summons-focused teams.

Level 12

Select:

Feat: ASI +2 to Dexterity, or see Level 8.

One Warlock Spell (Level 5): Blight

Replace a Spell: N/A

Eldritch Invocation: One With Shadows

Final Composition

By Level 12, Wyll can have the following notable qualities:

Three Level 5 Warlock Spell slots 

One Level 6 Warlock Spell that can be used once per Long Rest

Three Damage die on Damaging Warlock cantrips – AKA three bolts of Eldritch Blast for 3d10+5 Damage (the +5 applies to each Blast bolt)

An Extra Attack (Weapon) from Pact of the Blade

Spells List and Invocations

Note: Scaling Cantrips (Level 5, Level 10) is based on your overall caster level rather than your Warlock level. As such, if you multiclass Wyll with a class like Bard or Paladin, he’ll still get the fully scaled three bolts per Eldritch Blast at Level 10.

Gear

The goal of this gear selection is to maximize the effectiveness of Wyll’s spells – particularly Enchantment spells. With the Band of the Mystic Scoundrel, Enchantment spells can be cast as a Bonus Action. Without this Band, Wyll generally won't be doing much with his Bonus Action as a Warlock – so let's fix that!

To align with his backstory, Wyll should be a formidable swordsman as well as spellcaster. As such, the weaponry in this build enhances his spellcasting, and ensures that his spellcasting enhances his sword fighting as well. (Synergizing!!!)

Headwear: Helmet of Arcane Acuity

Battle Acuity: Whenever you deal damage with a weapon attack, you gain Arcane Acuity (+1 to Spell Attack Rolls and Spell Save DC) for 2 turns.

+1 to Dexterity Saving Throws

Armor: Elegant Studded Leather

14 AC + Dexterity Modifier (18 AC)

+2 to Initiative Rolls

Can cast Shield once per Short Rest

Alternatively, you can use the Potent Robe and cast Armour of Shadows to bump your AC. However, you cannot wear the Helmet of Arcane Acuity if you do so (the helmet qualifies as Light Armor, meaning it cannot be used simultaneously with Armour of Shadows). If you’d like to use the Potent Robe instead, an alternative headwear is the Diadem of Arcane Synergy.

However, I wouldn't recommend the Potent Robe for a Fiend Warlock once you get the Elegant Studded Leather or an equivalent Light Armor. This is because the Potent Robe's added temporary HP (equal to your Warlock's Charisma Modifier) overrides the Dark One's Blessing, which will grant your Warlock temporary HP equal to your Warlock's Charisma Modifier plus your Warlock's Level.

Cloak: Cloak of the Weave

Arcane Enchantment: Gain a +1 bonus to Spell Save DC and Spell Attack Rolls.

Absorb Elements: Absorb elemental damage once per Short Rest. Take half damage from the next elemental attack targeting you, and deal an additional 1d6 of that element type on your next attack.

Alternatively, if you expect Wyll to regularly be in melee range, I’d recommend the Cloak of Protection (defensive, +1 to AC) or Thunderskin Cloak (offensive, pairs well with the Spineshudder Amulet). 

The Nymph Cloak pairs well with the Band of the Mystic Scoundrel.

Handwear: Daredevil Gloves

+1 to Spell Attack Rolls

Daredevil Proximity: Can make Ranged Spell Attack Rolls as Melee Spell Attack Rolls

For boosting the effectiveness of Eldritch Blasting! Alternatively, the Gloves of Battlemage’s Power would be perfect for this build, but apparently they’re currently bugged (as of Feb. 20, 2024, Hotfix #18).

The Spellmight Gloves, Quickspell Gloves, Gemini Gloves, and Helldusk Gloves are also interesting options.

Footwear: Helldusk Boots

Ignores Difficult Terrain

Cannot be forcibly moved by spells or actions

Use a reaction to succeed on a Saving Throw

Hellcrawler: Teleport to an area and deal 2d8 Fire Damage upon landing in a 3m/10ft zone

Utilizing infernal gear is very synergetic with Wyll’s story. However, these boots are good for characters who want to move into melee range. Alternative teleportation boots include the Disintegrating Night Walkers or the Spaceshunt Boots.

Additionally, the Boots of Stormy Clamour pair well with the Spineshudder Amulet.

Amulet: Spineshudder Amulet

Inflict Reverberation when you deal Damage with a Ranged Spell Attack

Eldritch Blasts are Ranged Spell Attacks. :)

Ring A: Ring of Arcane Synergy

Synergetic Cantrip: When you deal damage with a Cantrip, you gain Arcane Synergy for 2 turns

When you have Arcane Synergy, your Weapon Attacks deal additional damage equal to your Spell Casting Ability Modifier. This makes a lot of sense since Wyll’s highest stat should be Charisma (aka his Spell Casting Ability Modifier), and because Wyll will probably be Eldritch Blasting (Cantrip) a lot.

Ring B: Band of the Mystic Scoundrel

Illusion Quickening: After hitting a creature with a Weapon Attack, you can cast Illusion or Enchantment spells as a Bonus Action

This item is why this build prioritizes Enchantment spells! Otherwise, the only thing Wyll can really do with his Bonus Action in combat is chug a potion (or teleport), haha.

Melee Main Hand: Infernal Rapier

High Spellcasting: +1 to Spell Save DC

Planar Ally: Cambion (Summon a Cambion as an ally)

However, being able to Bind Pact Weapon via Pact of the Blade means Wyll can wield any weapon in the game! So this slot is very flexible depending on the encounter. I favor the Infernal Rapier for the +1 to Spell Save DC and the RP value.

Melee Off Hand: Viconia’s Walking Fortress

Rebuke of the Mighty: When a foe hits you with a melee attack, you can use a Reaction to deal 2-8 Force damage and possibly knock them Prone

Spellguard: You have Advantage on Saving Throws against spells; Spell Attack Rolls against you have Disadvantage 

Swires’ Sledboard is also interesting for potential Force damage. Ketheric’s Shield is good for casters in general (+1 Spell Save DC and +1 to Spell Attack Rolls), although I usually have this shield on my party’s Wizard (Gale).

Ranged Main Hand: Darkfire Shortbow

Grants Resistance to both Fire and Cold Damage

Can cast Haste as a Level 3 spell once per Long Rest

This weapon slot is less important since Wyll will be Eldritch Blasting if he needs to make a single-target Ranged Attack. The only reason he might be using a Ranged Weapon is if he’s Silenced.

As such, it’s nice to just benefit from this bow’s passives. With Fiendish Resilience, Wyll can potentially have four Resistances at once in (very late) Act 2 – Fire and Cold from the Darkfire Shortbow, Necrotic from Selûne’s Blessing, and another from Fiendish Resilience.

Additionally, an emergency Haste is great to have on the backburner.

The Bow of Awareness is another such bow that grants a useful passive (+1 to Initiative).

Ranged Off Hand: N/A

Number Crunching

If you’ve followed the above gearing, you should have 20 AC on Wyll. Hooray!

The following table should give you an idea of how Wyll performs on the battlefield as a result of his gear synergy.

Because this Warlock build has a lot of flexibility in what it can do (#gishy 👽), it’s hard to say how much damage Wyll can regularly dole out. However, in an ideal world, Wyll can take the following actions to get the most out of his gear:

Combat Round #1

Cast Eldritch Blast on three separate enemies, inflicting Reverberation on each and gaining Arcane Synergy.

Combat Round #2

Land a Weapon Attack (which uses Arcane Synergy) on an enemy, gaining Arcane Acuity.

Use Bonus Action to cast Hold Person or Hold Monster.

Land a Weapon Attack (which uses Arcane Synergy) on the held enemy; this Attack is automatically a Critical Hit.

Conclusion

Of course, this is just one way to class Wyll (or a general Warlock)! I prioritized thematic gearing over pure Damage output, so there are definitely ways to get this build even more powerful. For example, Wyll would probably be ethically opposed to using the Bhaalist Armor even though it would greatly enhance his rapier attacks. 

As an aside, there’s a funny bug with Warlock’s Pact of the Blade Extra Attack – in Explorer, Balanced, and Tactician, this Extra Attack adds to (instead of overlaps with) any Extra Attack you get from another class. 

So instead of having an Attack and Extra Attack like most other martial classes, the Lockadin gets an Attack, an Extra Attack, and an extra Extra Attack, for three Attacks total, LOL. (This bug is unfortunately resolved in Honor Mode.) Subsequently, the Pact of the Blade is a great multiclass with martial classes, but especially a Paladin (5 Warlock / 7 Paladin). 😁

Additionally, a lot of this gear is also excellent on a College of Swords Bard (another Charisma-based gish type). To that end, it may not be a good idea to have both a Bard and Warlock on the same team, as they’ll be fighting for the gear listed here.

Thanks for reading, and hope this gave you some ideas for your Warlock builds! :)

[spookyscaryskidnpump]

my thoughts on spooky month 6

copy pasted from a page and a half of google doc. crying. spoilers inbound.putting it under the cut cuz its super long. also swear warning.

Ok to start off LILA. LILA MY GAL NO UR DOING UR BEST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Im crying im actually fucginf crying. She's trying. So hard. Skid is trying so hard. THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST PLEASEEEEE. Father Gregor can go EAT SHIT. THEY'RE TRYING AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS GODDAMNIT.

Susie… Susie no… please… she deserves better istgggggg. What happened to their parents? Are they actually just busy? Are they DEAD? Holy shit what if they're dead. Poor Pump, poor Susie, god please just let these kiddos be ok. PLEASE. ABUELO WONDER IS TYING SO HARD BUT SUSIE KNOWS IT ISN'T REALLY FROM HER PARENTS IM CRYING. SUSIE NOOOOOO

FATHER GREGOR I HATE YOU. ok well he obvs did some good but STILL. GREGOR. STFU GREGOR. I get that hes trying but U CANT JUST SAY ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT JUDGEMENT AND THEN JUDGE HER HER FUCKING HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO!! YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CONTEXT!!!! ARGHFDGHJSGHJKAGHSD. Also DAMN IS HE A CULTIST NOW?? IS HE DEAD?? WHAT?!?!?!

ROYYYYYY ROY MY BOI NOOOOOO poor guy :( i understand why he hates the kids they DID kinda ruin him so. At least he knows theyre trying now :( and ross n rob just ASSUME he did something bad isnt helping here!!!! I get that theyre also trying to help him and its nice to see him opening up to them about stuff (even if we dont get to know what specifically PELO WHY) but PLEASE get this kid an anger management class or smthn PLEASE. He needs SO MUCH THERAPY. I dont think hes gonna get therapy because im pretty sure his parents are Part Of The Problem but STILL.  Also FUCKER LITERALLY GOT POSSESED BY A DEMON?????? THATS GOTTA BE TRAUMATIC TF

Side note i love ross and robert dearly and i appreciate them doing their best to help on both sides i love them smmmmmm AUGH

KEVIN AND RADFORD FRIENDSHIP REALLLLLLLLLL i am SO fucking happy about that!!!! Also Kevin having conflicted feelings on the kids FAIR. Similar thing to Roy except hes an adult with a semi-functional support network and is able to understand that theyre just dumb kids and they dont actually mean any harm. He’s harsher on the hatzgang cuz theyre teens and old enough to know stealing is wrong but Skid n Pump are little kiddos they dont know better. Also him disapproving of father gregor REAL THO. also HE GOT POSSESSED TOO?? TRAUMA CENTRAL HOLY SHIT

PATTY DESERVES TO HAVE A GUN ACTUALLY. Also JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST! IS HIS KID DEAD? IS HIS DAUGHTER OK HOLY SHIT. ALSO THEM HELPING THE KIDS PROPERLY IM CRYIG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

WHAT WAS EVERMORE DOING WITH THE HOBOMEN???? HELLO??????

I SAW THAT CULT NECKLACE UNDER IGNACIOS SHIRT. I FUCKING SAW IT. CALLED IT BITCH!!!!!!

Rick just has the WORST luck lmao

STREBER IS ALIVE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DEXTER NO PLEASE AUGH…… HIS MOM TOO……

JAUNE AND ROSS’S DAD… HE'S REAL HE EXISTS!! I get ur trying jaune but that is NOT the best way to comfort poor lila… AT LEAST SHES TRYING THO I APPRECIATE HER

THE ENTIRE NEWGROUNDS ENDING?? THE THIEVES AND THE CANDY DEALER IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CULT???? HELLO??????

MOLOCH IS GONE. he deserved it but also THE KIDS ARE SO SAD ABOUT IT? Like they don't really get it but they just watched someone they thought was their friend DIE. HOLY SHIT.

finally. SKID AND PUMP. KIDDOS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok for real tho theyre so much more self aware than the fandom and bulk of the show give them credit for?? Like Skid is VERY aware of his dad being dead/possibly missing and legit just doesn’t wanna talk about it. He knows what death is and he finds fun in it to cope. My poor sweet boyo… and PUMP. PUMP ANSWERING THE CALL AUGHHHHHH HE WANTS HIS PARENTS BACK IM CRYING. SUSIE AND ABUELO ARE DOING THEIR BEST AND HE'S TRYING SO HARD AND AAAAAAAAAAUGH. Also him getting possessed by Moloch while having Star-Eyes basically debunks the theory of the Star-Eyes being a form of possession which is FASCINATING. Anyway that scene with Susie and Pump got me misty eyed and then during the ending with Skid and Lila i actually genuinely started crying. I just want them to be happy. Please let them be happy. Please. PLEASE.

[vanishxcanvas]

Pool Table

Joakim "Jolly" Karlsson x F!Reader x Noah Sebastian

Oneshot / Imagine

Tags: @ladyveronikawrites, @lma1986, @blackveilomens, @cookiesupplier, @thcfountain

Content Warning: Fluff, Smut. 18+ only, mentions of dom!jolly, switch!noah, orgasm denial, male receiving oral, unprotected p/v sex, female receiving oral, use of a vibrator.

Note: This is my first "threesome" fic, trying to write more stuff out of my comfort zone. Actually ended up being 6 pages long on google docs. I'm not sorry for how long it is. Might as well turn this into a series LOL, part one here (also this one is inspired by the photo).

Ever since that comment Noah said on Christmas, you couldn't stop thinking about it. Of course, you kept it to yourself. It was a few months later, and since then, Jolly decided to buy a pool table for some reason. Why, you didn’t know. 

You had just woken up from a nap, as you got home from visiting your friend a couple hours ago. Upon waking up, you hear voices. You recognized them immediately as Jolly and Noah's. 

Of course, you were still wearing your outfit. You get up from the bed, and freshen up. Not feeling like changing your clothes, you decided to keep them on. You wore a black top, a leather jacket, and a skirt. Before taking a nap, you took your boots off. Finally deciding to leave the room, you leave. 

As you enter the kitchen, you feel a pair of eyes staring at you. You ignore it, and grab a bottle of water from the fridge. “Where were you earlier?” Jolly asked you. You suddenly turn around, and see him crossing his arms. 

“With a friend, why?” You ask.

“I see, I see.” He replies.

“Did I miss out on anything?” You ask.

“Just Noah and I chilling in the basement.” He says.

“Mind if I join? I’m bored.” You ask.

“Of course you can. If you wanna play a round of pool with me, sweet girl.” He says, smirking. 

“It’s on.” You reply, smirking back at him. 

You both go to the basement, and as you enter the room, Noah looks up from his computer. “Oh hey.” 

“Hey yourself.” You reply. 

He smiles, then looks back at his computer. You and Jolly play a round of pool. That is, until you decide to tease him. 

As you’re thinking about your next move, you bend over to do your turn. Showing Jolly your bare ass, he notices you're wearing a thong. 

“You’re cheating.” He mumbles.

“What? No I’m not.” You reply.

He places a hand on your ass and caresses it. Your breath hitches as he does this. 

“Yes you are. I have a suggestion for you, pretty girl.” He says.

“Go on.” You reply. 

“You remember what Noah said at Christmas? What if we make that happen..” He suggests.

“I’m not opposed..” You say. 

He smiles, and tells Noah. They walk back over to you, your pool stick falling to the floor. Noah presses his erection against your ass, and ruts into you.

You gasp as he does this, and you grip the edges of the pool table. Biting your lip, you can feel yourself getting soaked. 

“Fuck,” You breathe out, leaning your head back. 

“Gonna be good for us sweet girl?” Jolly asks you.

“Yes, fuck.” You reply. 

“That’s my girl.” He smiles, then kisses you while placing his hand on your throat. You moan against his lips, and Noah moves one of his hands to your thong. He can feel how wet you are and he groans. 

“You’re so wet for us baby” He says.

"I wonder why," You breathe out.

"You've wanted this for a while, haven't you?" Noah asks.

"Yes" You say.

"All you had to do was ask, baby." Jolly says, kissing the bottom of your jaw. 

Noah smirks, and moves your thong to the side. You groan as you feel his fingers on you.

"Give it to me Noah, please." You beg.

"Since you asked so nicely," He replies, sinking two fingers into you. A loud moan escapes your lips, and Jolly kisses you once more. 

A while later, as you feel that you're about to cum, Noah removes his fingers. You whine, and Jolly tells you to be patient. 

"Think we should make her wait for whining?" Jolly asks Noah.

Noah smirks, and agrees. You whimper, and Jolly pushes you so you’re on your knees. He also tells you to get on all fours, and you listen.

“I’m going to fuck your face,” Noah says.

“And I’m going to fuck you,” Jolly tells you.

“Please.” You beg. 

Noah moves so he’s standing in front of you, and Jolly behind you. Noah unzips his pants, he was hard, especially after feeling how wet you are. “Open.” he commands. You listen, and you open your mouth. Noah tests the waters at first, then starts to fuck your face. 

Because of Noah distracting you, you don’t hear Jolly unzipping his pants. When you feel Jolly against you, a moan leaves your lips. Noah feels it, and a whimper leaves his lips.

When Jolly slides into you, another moan leaves your lips, making Noah whimper again. But louder this time. Jolly notices this, and raises an eyebrow. 

“You like it when she’s moaning?” Jolly asks Noah. He doesn’t reply, so Jolly speaks up again.

“I asked you a question, Noah. Answer me.” Jolly demands.

“Yes. I like it when she moans on me.” He answers finally.

“Good boy.” He praises Noah, and he grows harder in your mouth. 

“Fuck. I’m close.” Noah says.

“Well that’s too bad, you don’t cum unless I say so.” Jolly says.

“Please let me cum, I’ve been good.” Noah begs, with pleading eyes.

“Pull out of her mouth.” Jolly demands.

Noah does so, and Jolly makes Noah watch him fuck you.

Jolly leans in your ear, “I know you’re close. Cum for me, doll.” 

You cum, and Jolly pulls out, releasing over your back. Then, he picks you up and places you on the pool table.

“We’re definitely going to have to clean this later.” Jolly laughs, and you agree.

“What about me?” Noah asks.

“What about you?” Jolly asks.

“I need attention.” Noah says.

“Maybe if you’re patient, I’ll let someone here give that to you, after another round. Now, stay seated and look pretty.” Jolly replies.

Noah sulks where he’s sitting, and Jolly looks at you. “Now, how about another round before we focus our attention on someone over there?”

“Sounds like a plan, babe.” You reply.

“Good girl.” He replies.

Jolly kisses down your neck, and leaves love bites all over your body. When he reaches your thighs, he of course leaves them there too. “Do me a favor Noah, and praise our girl while I take care of her.” He says before diving into you.

When you feel Jolly’s mouth on you, a loud moan escapes your lips. Noah smirks, and decides to praise you. “Good job, taking it like the good girl you are.”

As Noah keeps praising you, the closer you get to your edge. “I’m close,” You finally say, and Jolly just keeps at it.

When you cum it gets all over the lower half of Jolly’s face. Jolly pulls away, and you see it all.

“You taste fucking delicious every single time.” Jolly says. He kisses you, making you taste yourself. You feel something against your thigh, and you smirk.

“Is that for me, sir?” You ask.

Jolly smirks, then slides into you. A moan leaves your lips as you feel him enter you, as you were starting to feel sensitive from two orgasms already. “Think I can get one more out of you?” He asks.

“Mmhhmmm.” You mumble. Jolly smiles, “Atta girl.”

His hands go to your hips, caressing your skin as he’s fucking into you. When you finally clench around him, Jolly notices. “Close, sweet girl? Cum for me.”

You lose it at the name, and you cum around him. He pulls out, and releases on your stomach. Picking up some with your finger, you lick it off. Jolly grabs a cloth, and wipes your stomach with it, cleaning you up. 

“You okay?” He asks.

“I’m perfect.” You say.

“Good. I was wondering if you wanted to take care of someone over there, since he’s been patient enough to wait for us.” Jolly suggests.

“Yeah? Anything specific?” You ask.

Jolly hands you a vibrator. “Use this on him.” He says. “Will do, baby.” You say, kissing him. 

“I thought I was going to rail the fuck out of her?” Noah asks.

“Next time.” Jolly says.

“Oh. We’re doing this again?” Noah asks.

“If you want. It’s all up to you. Isn’t that right?” Jolly says, looking at you.

“He’s right, sweet boy.” You say, looking at Noah.

“I wanna do this again, in that case.” Noah says.

“Got it. Let her take care of you then, I’ll get things ready for when you’re done.” Jolly suggests.

“Okay.” Noah says.

Jolly leaves the room to get stuff ready for a shower, for when you’re all done. You walk up to Noah, and kiss his cheek, down to his neck.

Switching the vibrator on, you place it on his already hard dick. Noah immediately whimpers, and starts squirming. 

“I need to cum already, please let me cum.” He begs.

“Go ahead, sweet boy. You’ve waited long enough.” You say. He immediately cums, and it gets on the vibrator and your hand. You lick it off, his eyes widen. 

“This can be cleaned later,” You say turning off the vibrator and setting it on a nearby table, “let’s get cleaned up, okay?” 

He nods, and you take his hand, leading him to the restroom where Jolly is waiting. By the end of the night, you’re all cleaned up and in bed, getting some rest after the long day you had.

[report-rqs]

Step-by-step: Let's report a radqueer for racism

This is a tutorial on reporting. Don't find this user, don't contact them, don't harass them, etc - I am showing how you should report these posts instead. Content warnings: Radqueers, antiblackness, "reverse racism" type talk

Navigate to the racist post in question.

Click the meatball menu (the three dots in the corner).

Click "Report."

4. You'll be redirected to a new tab which will contain Tumblr's report menu. Select "Report something else".

5. You'll be shown a list of many options. Scroll down and select "Hate speech violation".

6. It will add the permalink of the post you're reporting. I typically also add other posts that are bigoted - I want Tumblr to understand that it's not a per-post issue and the entire blog should be terminated. Unfortunately, Tumblr limits report text to under 350 characters so this will limit what you can write. You can use Google Docs or this website to count the characters

Here's what I ended up sending for the post I reported while making this tutorial:

This user is racist and is arguing with other users about how White people are oppressed and also claims to be "transracial" (as in transitioning to another race). This blog is almost entirely about racist content - In another post they claim that people of color are actually a majority: sheyoves/737288677972131840 and in this post they say they're "transpanasian", as in they're a White person who is "transasian": sheyoves/737264717704347648/my-transids This is racist misinformation/propaganda.

6.5. Tumblr frequently glitches on the report page. Once you're finished filling out both text boxes I would really suggest copying and pasting what you wrote somewhere else. You could put it in a Google Doc, text document, a Discord DM to yourself, etc. If Tumblr glitches and just gives you a "We're sorry" message when reporting, reload the report page tab and paste what you wrote back in so you can try again to submit it.

Once your reply has been submitted, you'll see this message:

7. Block the OP of the post you're reporting, and every radqueer in the notes. Again, do not engage. Radqueers will use criticism as "proof" that "antis" are mean and harassing, no matter what place you come from when you message them. I can't say this enough: Do. Not. Engage. Report them.

8. To all people of color who may be reading, please make sure to step away from the computer and go do something that you enjoy now that you've reported a racist. Please prioritize self care and take care of yourself.

Related links:

Reporting a radqueer for inciting violence tutorial

Radqueers being racist tag

Why you shouldn't interact with radqueers and focus on reporting them instead

[kaye-go-moo]

Alternate Universes to the Shapes and Pines au by @void-dude

____

DISCLAIMER!!! These are by no means canon to Shapes and Pines!!! These are alts of that au!!!

_____

I did a thing

1. Shapes and Strange Ciphers(SaSC): Human Tad and Bill, Euclydian Stan and Ford.

Tad ⇄ Stan , Bill ⇄ Ford

I already have a 22-page google doc with a summary of The Twins and Shapes bgs, plus a slightly more detailed looks at what each did before reuniting/meeting(plus lore comments). It stops at Tad and Stan meeting.

It's a bit of a mess and has some clunky moments, but I need to share it before I explode 😭

(I also have no clue how Dipper and Mabel or a lot of other characters would fit in this so it's literally just to play around with the shape fuckers dynamics 😅)

6/8 posted

1: Stan and Ford - Twins

2: Tad - Brothers, Loneliest Number

3: Bill - Brothers, Space Oddity

4: Bill and Ford - Need a hand? Pt. 1

5: Bill and Ford - Need a hand? Pt. 2

6: Bill and Tad - From States Away

7: Tad - To Worlds Apart

8: Tad and Stan - Need a friend?

2. Swapped!Shapes and Pines: Everyone swaps roles but not personalities. There are slight changes to mold the role around the character or mold the character to fit the role, but I tried to keep things mostly the same(biggest changes are in Tad and Bill).

Stan ⇄ Ford , Tad ⇄ Bill , Fiddleford ⇄ Preston , Mabel ⇄ Dipper , Pacifica ⇄ Tate , etc.

This one's a lot less put together(3 pages) and is just tables, bullet points, and lore comments. It's also not done, stopping after Ford meets Bill.

Depending on how long I decide it takes Ford, Fidd, and Bill to fix the portal, Mabel and Dipper may or may not be in it. Kind of leaning towards keeping it 30 years with the excuse that Stan doesn't leave notes like canon Ford does.

I like coming up with dumb little backstories explaining how characters ended up how they are and how their personalities slightly adapt to or change their role.

(Please ignore how I miss spelled 'role' as 'roll' I was hungry)

This au can also be changed to fit more to the og canon by swapping Tad out for an in universe character(also changing Stan's relationship with the big bad) and getting rid of Bills role.

_____

Also, huge thanks to the explosion of the Gravity Falls Fandom and the amazing creators who inspired me out of my art block prison.

Specifically, @/void-dude! Their Bill in therapy with static Ford gave me the kick I needed to start drawing again. Their Tad also infected me with the need to make a Euclydian oc who, I just realized, I never posted on here. Whoops.

Anywho, these past few weeks have been awesome for my creativity and horrible for my school work.

Gonna drop the Shapes and Strange Ciphers in peaces(plus lore screenshots) because I don't know what the text limit on tumblr is, and I want to keep some parts to their own post.

I will also drop bits of the swapped au as I work on it(warning that things will definitely be changed along the way and the label 'canon' is used very loosely) and it's possible that I will come up with or be inspired to make another au and get swept away in that.

If you got this far, thanks for reading my rambles, your reward is below 👇

Sad Tad

[maximwtf]

“You’re stronger than that.”

                                    Jasper x gem reader

words: 1100

google docs pages: 2

Warnings: claustrophobia(ish), some bruises, Jasper is kinda mean, but we love her. 

opening: The ship is going down, and it takes Jasper for a while to figure out where you are after finding her way out from under the burning ship pieces. She tries to ‘help’ you in her own way. 

AN// It’s been 6 years and I’m still so down bad for her, someone help :”D Anyway, I’ll get this out and then probably post the second part for the Peridot fanfic !^^ (Sorry this is all taking me so long ahah!)

              “You’re stronger than that.”

The ship had been going down at full speed, and after surpassing the earth’s atmosphere it had set on fire. Peridot had escaped on her own, but you hadn’t had time to do that. It was your duty to stay by Jasper’s side and help her if she needed any help, but she was gone as far as you knew. Though, something had definitely hit the heart of the ship and caused it to start going down, and you had a bad feeling about what it had been. A quick look out of a window showed the flames surrounding the ship and the clouds that were going by fast. While gritting your teeth together, you closed your eyes and held onto a pole. There was no time to get out of here anymore either. The ship crashed down, causing you to fly against the nearest wall. There was only time to groan, before the hit caused the entire ship to blow up on the beach. No memories of what happened after were left, only darkness, and then the memory of laying against wet sand in a dark place.

There were pieces of the ship flying here and there, some of them falling into the ocean and some on the beach. The green fire lit up the evening on the beach, illuminating its light against the sand. There was something heavy on top of you, crushing you down. It was so dark under all the heavy trash, you couldn't even see a grain of sand. All the attempts of trying to lift yourself back up had failed, there were simply too many heavy pieces on you. Another piece fell on the pile, pushing your body back and further against the sand. You could feel waves from the ocean hit your arm that was stretched out and stuck under something. There must have been an opening. It took everything in your power to keep your form together while splashing the water with one arm. Somewhere in the distance a familiar voice echoed, the voice was talking about fusions…Jasper. Her voice cut off after you yelled out for her. It was dead silent for what felt like ages, but must have only been minutes. The quartz had spotted your hand peeking from under one of the piles. “Can you not lift yourself up?” She laughed at you, but from the small hole you had to peek out of, you could see she was stumbling herself as she walked. Talking was hard since you couldn’t get much air for being pressed down. A growl echoed from under the pile as you used all your power to try and lift yourself up, but it was no use. Only the very top pieces rolled off to the sides, making Jasper chuckle once again. She crouched down, not that you could see much of her anyway. “Are you that weak? Come on..” She sighed, shaking her head. You tried to move again, pressing your eyes shut. It was almost like you could hear her call you useless under her breath. “Jasper, as much as I’d like to..I clearly cannot..” You mumble against the sand, gritting your teeth to keep your form. The pile of trash quakes as Jasper hits it with her boot, some of the pieces fall off yet again. “Stop..” You grunt, eyes closed. “You’re stronger than that…” Jasper’s hoarse voice replied, kicking the pile again. It feels like the pieces push you down even further. “Jasper…” A whine comes out, your form shaking. “What a sad excuse of a gem.” Jasper states, standing up with a grin on her face. You felt like crying, but no tears came out. Instead, a burst of anger caused you to take in some air and rip your arm out from under the piece that had fallen on it. Jasper’s brows lowered as she watched this go down. You crawled up, using everything in you to push your hand through the ship materia, then pushing your body up to get out. The pieces that had been pushing you down fell off, revealing your bruised form. “There you go-” Jasper hummed, grinning. “I told you to stop..” You mumble. Stepping out of the pile causes you to stumble forward into the water. Before you’re able to hit the water though, Jasper grabs your wrist, swinging you back. She held you up a little to make sure you didn’t fall. You stared at her for a moment, hair covered in sand and form bruised. By some miracle your gem was okay though. 

“Are you okay?” You asked when she dropped you back to your feet. “Of course. She only beat me because she’s a fusion..” Jasper looked away. She was so serious about winning every single battle she was in, that it wasn’t even hard to guess she’d be upset over this. It was like she had to prove to everyone that she was better, no matter what it took and who she was up against. “If only I had someone to fuse with…” She mumbled, looking over at the Crystal Gems. Her gaze then landed on you, causing you to take a step back. “You. Fuse with me.” Jasper got closer, something new in her voice. “Be stronger that way, with me.” She had almost a crazy grin on her face, but then again..when did she not. Your body shook a little. This was against every rule you’ve ever been taught. But truthfully, you had no energy left to fight the gems on your own, so if this was the only way to win.. You turned to look at Jasper, offering a hand to her. The grin on her face only grew as she took a hold of you once more. With eyes closed, you felt Jasper spin you around. Both of your gems started to glow faintly in the darkening evening as she dropped you onto her other arm. Her hair was messy, some strands coming to her face. She looked so beaten up. Jasper’s gem illuminated an orange light to your chest and to her face. That was the last look at her you got before you fused. 

AN// This is really short, but I’m too tired to write anything longer, haha. I’ll try a little more next time!^^

[mbm-artist]

Hi there hello, I'm sure you're wondering either

A) Why tf I just reblogged a bunch of stuff in the span of like 30 seconds

B) What's going on in general

C) What's the point of this post you're reading

D) All of the above

Well dear viewer, I'm gonna give you a TL;DR and then under the cut give a more in-depth explanation, I'll even cut it up into different sections to make viewing easier :)

⚠️ Trigger Warnings ⚠️

Randy (duh), a LOT of swearing (duh), suicide mentions, pedophilia/attempted grooming/etc mentions, queerphobia (transphobia, homophobia, etc), misogyny, mentions of sexual things, slurs, harassment, general 16+ content mentions

Disclaimer

Randy is a 14 year old minor (allegedly) as of the time this post was made, please DO NOT INTERACT with him, just block him and report him as many times as you want. This post's purpose is to spread awareness and maybe hopefully get him banned from Tumblr. Please do not go after, attack, or interact with him or his (supposed) "girlfriend" (he has her tagged at the bottom of his pinned post). I suggest you block (NOT REPORT) his "girlfriend" too, you can never be too careful.

As of the time this post was made Randy's father and school have been contacted, and we are waiting on an update.

Please offer all the victims of Randy unconditional love and support, they deserve that and so much more for all the bullshit this kid put them through, don't you dare even TRY to victim blame them. I will flame you if you attack them at all in any way shape or form, no excuses, ifs, ands, or buts.

I am also a minor in high school (not giving my age for my own safety), so take that how you will. My pronouns are they/them/he/him if you don't know already :D

One more thing before we get into it (if it wasn't obvious already),

GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY PAGE AND BLOCK ME IF YOU'RE QUEERPHOBIC (transphobic, homophobic, etc) OR AGREE WITH RANDY IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM. DO NOT FUCKING INTERACT WITH ME EVER AGAIN.

Thank you, you may now proceed.

Links

The Google Doc (Alllllll the info about this guy in one place, most reliable source of info) | Randy's "gf's" tag, #proud randy supporter (Second-most reliable source of info, this has a LOT of updates on him in real time) | Randy tag, #randysworld-multi-fandom-fan/randysworld2009 (Second-most reliable source of info, all posts related to him will [hopefully] be here) | Randy's Interactions With Me (proof of him interacting with me) | Google Photos Album (just all of the screenies of proof in one place, I'm gonna tryyyyy to keep this updated as much as I can but no promises)

My response to the 1st ask he sent me | My response to the 2nd ask he sent me (pretty much the same as the first one)

The Short Explanation

So basically this whole fiasco is about @randysworld-multi-fandom-fan or otherwise known as randysworld2009

His crime(s)?

1. Hypocrisy

2. Queerphobia (transphobia, homophobia, the works)

3. Misogyny

4. Perversion (being a pervert)

5. Suicide baiting

6. Pedophilia accusations (all of which are false, and carelessly thrown around)

7. Attempted grooming(?) of fellow minors

8. Slurs (need I say more?)

9. Harassment (in case that wasn't obvious already)

Among other things

He's been interacting with accounts in the following fandoms (as of the time this post was posted):

The Amazing Digital Circus (TADC)

Hellaverse (Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss, or HV/HH/HB)

Murder Drones (MD)

SMG4 (Super Mario Glitchy 4)

Yo Gabba Gabba (YGG)

TL;DR this guy is a 5yo Gen Alpha brainrotted kid stuck in a 14yo kid's body, and he's been harassing multiple (mainly TADC) accounts on Tumblr for a bit now, and just being a nuisance and damaging people's mental health.

That's the simple explanation, if you're still not convinced you need to block this guy (and his [supposed] girlfriend) and report him until your hands hurt and/or would like to know more thennnnn

The full explanation + evidence is under the cut ✨

The Long Explanation

Okay so I'm gonna be quoting the Google Doc a LOT here, you'll be able to tell which parts are quoted and which parts are me.

"Randy or randysworld2009 is a Tumblr user that appeared around TADC blogs in the beginning of 2024. Since then, he has built a history of harassing said blogs, mostly roleplay/askblog accounts and artists, forcing roleplay and specially spouting misogyny towards women mods and fem leaning characters, transphobic and homophobic towards queer people. At one point he started getting his information messed up, saying that he was super straight and then later on a “half-bisexual”, also often times approaching people with romantic/sexual intent and then getting angry when those same people state that they are not interested or are above legal age, which he supposedly is not. It is believed that Randy is 14 years old, but at this point, we can’t be certain of what information is true or false. For all we know, his blog could be just a troll."

So yeah, this guy is bad news. That was a direct (formal) quote from one of the victims.

If formal isn't your style, here's a more casual one

"Randy first appeared around the beginning of 2024. He began harassing tadc ask blogs then that led to harassing their mods. Eventually others got involved and Randy basically snapped. He got EVEN MORE batshit and started spouting misogyny, transphobia, and dilution. He's chronically online and believes everything is a roleplay. He's obsessed with getting a girlfriend and has sexually harassed many. he is the horniest bastard you could fucking meet omg"

Another direct quote from another victim, this one he treated the WORST.

(Some) Screenshots

There are more screenshots in the Google Doc and the Google Photos Album I made, but these will be a few tidbits of evidence that will hopefully convince you by now if you're not already. (With some additional commentary/explanation from yours truly underneath each screenie✨) Additionally, all the images will have links to their sources. (Please let me know if they don't work, I'll update this with usable links if that's the case)

Exhibit A - The Bastard Himself

(Mb for light mode jumpscare here, even more reason for your eyes to bleed when looking at this immature fuck's profile)

Just his profile (as of the time this post was posted) so you know exactly who to block and report as many times as possible Exhibit B - His Interactions With Me

This is some evidence of him interacting with me, there's more in the Google Photos Album I made of proof he interacted with me

(Mb for light mode jumpscare again, it's the only way I could show the post and the comments in the same screenie)

His comments on my pinned post, if you saw this or this you know I demanded that he delete his comments on here (while flaming the fuck out of him), so here's a screenie of what they were before he (hopefully) deletes them

The first ask he sent me, my response being the awesome giant rant where I DEMOLISHED him (I'm way too proud of it if you couldn't tell)

All his interactions with me from when he initially found me

The rest of his interactions he's ever had with me

Like the first ask he sent, I answered with the same thing, ANNIHILATING this fucker (still way too proud of it)

Exhibit C - Direct Victim Testimonies (to yours truly) These are asks that I sent to the main 3 victims I had gathered evidence from before gaining access to the Google Doc, they're my main sources so far (send all the love and support to them please [especially Sunny's system they've all been hurt the most from what I can see], they're very sweet outside of all this and more than deserve it)

Dia answered first, their answer helped me gain access to the Google Doc and get a HUGE chunk of the evidence I'll be showing here

Second half of Dia's answer, a summary of the wholeeee situation straight from a direct victim

Sunny was the second to answer my ask, this is what I mean when I say clearly Sunny needs the most love and support out of all the victims (as far as ik) cus like how can you not man- also this is how I found out they contacted Randy's father and school, very big piece of lore (and you'll see why they have soon don't worry)

Lilith was the last to respond to my ask, this being how I found out that it was them specifically that contacted Randy's dad & school (which I commend them for, it was a very good move so bravo to them man genuinely)

Exhibit D - Evidence

And now the moment you've all been waiting for, if this doesn't convince you then shit idk what will-

This post was my first exposure to what Randy is ACTUALLY like and wowee what a doozy man, it started me down the rabbit hole that lead me to making this post rn (make sure you look at the notes [both comments and the reblogs] too those also have even more info aside from everybody FLAMING the fuck out of this kid lolol) Also GO OFF ON HIM GLITCH GET HIS ASS WOOOOO

(Sorry for the light mode jumpscare yet again, evidence is evidence)

1. Misgendering. What the fuck. (Dia's pronouns are they/them) 2. EW. Need I say more??? 3. This post is how I found my main 3 sources up until Dia answered my ask 4. You'll start to see that this post and the following posts show that he's SPECIFICALLY targeting fem-adjacent blogs (including blogs that are run by enbies that he assumes identify as femme and promptly misgenders) and generally being a misogynistic and transphobic BITCH

This post is an example of Randy A) Accusing a fellow minor of pedophilia (very carelessly and incorrectly might I add) B) Not even getting their age right? Hello??? C) This kid clearly does NOT know what the difference between slang and genuine predatory behavior is which shows how fucking SHELTERED this kid must be oh my GOD D) Another example of him misgendering and being misogynistic/transphobic

This post is more proof of him being misogynistic and sexually harassing people, and might I add a HORNY ASS PERVERT Rabid is actually someone I followed way before all this dude, I'm guessing that's how Randy found me unfortunately

After this screenie Dia answered my ask, so all the screenies beyond this point are straight from the Google Doc (some had links to their original posts, some didn't for the sake of anonymity which is completely understandable)

This post backs up what I said regarding the other screenie where Randy assumed Lilith was like 20, istg this kid does NOT know what fact checking is holy fuck This was a certified screenie I got from the Google Doc might I add

This post, another one provided by the Google Doc, is an example of him A) Harassing TADC ask blogs (and it leading to harassing the mods) B) Sexually harassing people and being misogynistic in general He just doesn't know when to quit huh

(Sorry again for the light mode jumpscare this is the last one I promise)

This one didn't have a post linked to it so I only found it cus of the Google Doc (so yay ig you don't have to click the links to the OG posts for more info anymore beyond this point), the mod spitting FACTS

Once again lovingly provided by the Google Doc, wowee this kid sure loves slurs

Conclusion

I know this might not get to many people, but I'm hoping it at least has some sort of positive impact, because I want to try my best to warn as many people as possible and keep him from having any more influence than he already has.

To the victims involved in this: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE PLS PLS PLS LMK IF I NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING I TRIED MY ABSOLUTE BEST TO BE AS ACCURATE AND RESPECTFUL TO YOU GUYS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE I'D REALLY APPRECIATE FEEDBACK IF I GOT/DID SOMETHING WRONG

Thank you for reading my ramblies on this important news, have a cookie for getting this far and you're an LGBTQIA+ ally 🍪 (plus an additional scoop of ice cream if you're queer 🍦)

And Happy Pride Month, TRANS PRIDE BABYYY

Plus some Anti-Randy spray for the road (lovingly provided by Sunny and Lilith) ✨

(in case of any confusion, the colors kind of mean different things but not really, it's not that important- but red is for trigger warning stuffs/disclaimers and general important things, green is for section titles, blue is for links, and that's about it really-- and yes I did make a subtle RGB joke. Sue me, I wanna be at least a little funny to make light of all this grim dark stuffs. All those super super serious call-out posts can be kind of depressing so I want to find the happy middle ground between serious and lighthearted, it gets the message across and it still feels important without being too much of a downer yanno? Anyway do tell me your thoughts in the comments after dropping a reblog, I would appreciate feedback on what you think of my writing style here :3) (Oh, and if you're wondering what purple means? It's a secret 🥰)

[so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site]

“I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter”:

The Awkward Meta-Tragedy of Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman

In which I thoroughly (over-) analyze the ending of this classic work in seven parts, with perhaps gratuitous references to 2000s pop music thrown in. The introduction and links to subsequent posts are below:

[Note: a link to a google doc containing the whole essay will also be at the end of this post, if you'd rather read it in that format instead of clicking links to the separate pages]

Introduction

                I was warned that Neil Gaiman’s book series The Sandman was a tragedy.  A post on tumblr, circulated not long after the successful Netflix adaptation’s first season released, warned new fans to not get their hopes up, to understand that the books were a Literary Tragedy to be taken seriously, and not to get carried away with fun cutesy shipping without the knowledge of what the source material would be like.  However, the post carefully, and helpfully for those hoping to avoid spoilers, did not say in what manner the books constituted a tragedy.

                So, when I first came to the end of the final installment of the series, I was shocked.

                This was not like any tragedy I’d expected.  And it felt… icky.  It felt incredibly, shockingly, pessimistic.

                Needless to say, massive, MASSIVE spoilers from here on out—you have been warned.  Also content warning for discussions of depression, suicidal ideation and suicide, mentions of misogyny, and mentions of transphobia.

                Also note that this isn’t intended as necessarily negative towards the original work, but more about the common fandom interpretation of it, as well as acknowledgment that, for better or worse, it is “of its time” and doubtless going to come across differently to a modern first-time reader.  Also, this is just my own interpretation, I’ve been told I tend to interpret things pessimistically, and I’ve only just read the books as of 2022, so I in no way position this as a definitive analysis, nor even necessarily a correct one.

Continue to:

Part 1: Tragic, but not a Tragedy… Unless you get weird about mental health

Part 2: Hob Gadling—How to win by doing nothing?

Part 3: “Façade”—So much foreshadowing, so little time

Intermission: A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Part 4: Damn Daniel, Back at it again with the (symbolic) white vans

Part 5: “It sure is exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero”: Should We Even Care?

Part 6: “I reject your reality, and substitute my own”: Maybe There is Hope After All

UPDATE: I have also written a "bonus chapter" of this, focusing on Season of Mists, HERE

Tagging those I believe interested: @duckland @roguelov @notallsandmen @lizajane2 @ambercoloredfox

@serenityspiral not sure if you want to read this before you finish the books, because this is literally about the ending and it might kinda ruin the experience if you're completely spoiled

@onehundredandeleventropicalfish I'm gonna be bold and tag you and hope I'm not completely wrong

[embyrinitalics]

Hi 😍

Hap hap new year!

How is the novel going? Are you enjoying the process?

This is so sweet! Thank you for asking!

Since this is the first original novel I'm actually approaching seriously and my process is totally different from normal, I'm going to use this ask as an excuse to journal about it. So, fair warning, you're probably about to get way more info than you bargained for. 😁 ONWARD!

I think first and foremost the process has been weird because I don't KNOW these characters. I've been writing Link and Zelda for 20+ years and even when I throw them into alternate universes or give them personality transplants I still can just dive right in. Starting this from scratch has been a lot of world building and a lot of taking my characters out on "dates" which aren't so much dates as they are writing excursions into the emotionally tormented unknown to see how they react. 😂

I jot down all the ideas that randomly strike me in this handy dandy notebook that I carry around everywhere just in case:

And that's a bit of a funny story. I love having notebooks to write stuff down in, but I recently discovered thanks to the course I took that I place very low value on my writing (and by extension myself in general I guess oops) so I never bought myself a nice notebook just for story notes because that would've been a waste of 5 dollars.

But between Emma Dhesi's course pushing me to assign appropriate value to myself and Ellen Brock's Intuitive Pantser video assuring me that my urges to compile all my notes into a notebook was good for my brain and not just a waste of time and paper, I eventually went out and spent that 5 bucks (actually $20—three notebooks for future endeavors!). And I LOVE MY NOTEBOOK! 🥰

Another thing I wouldn't have spent the money on in the past but took the plunge on is the Atticus program.

It's a project organizer, word processor, and book formatting software. I'm really enjoying it! It has a toggle window on the side where you can see how your book will look on various devices or in print, and easy buttons for things like writing sprints, word count goals, deadlines, and the like. It also makes me feel fancier than google docs ever did, so there's that. 😎

Emma Dhesi is also a big proponent of Goal Anchors—small things you accomplish and surround yourself with that cyclically trains your brain to believe that your dream is possible, and you are in the process of achieving it. (It also gives you goals you can do that move you closer to finishing your book that isn't actual writing, in case that feels intimidating.)

So I made an image of the title page the background on my phone, to remind myself that it's real and it's happening. I decluttered my writing room and started finding items to make it a comfortable creative space for myself. I went to the store for the express purpose of purchasing a special tea to drink while I write. I spent time making a playlist of songs with just the right vibes.

I also found the best candle scent ever, only wear these super comfy slippers in there, and just got myself this slammin t-shirt from Gideon's Bakehouse to wear. (Her name is Poppy. She's on a new path of self-discovery and adventure, just like me.)

But most of all, Emma insists that confidence comes from doing, and that the best way to write a book is to make a routine of it. She suggested starting with 20 minutes three times a week. I was up to between 1-2 hours a day starting at 7am, 5-6 days a week before I went on vacation and upended everything. 😂

So I guess that means I'm enjoying it! It's still scary and frustrating and directionless sometimes but more than anything it's just happening, which is the coolest thing ever.

[douglysium]

Episode 6 TMP Quick Thoughts

Housekeeping and Prologue

Hello, this is Douglysium and you might not know me as that guy who wrote over 100 pages of analysis on the Eye (which can be read on Tumblr here (https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/735599414228484097/the-relationships-between-the-dread-powers-the) or Google Docs here (The Relationships Between the Dread Powers: The Eye- Knowledge is Fear and Ignorance is Bliss)) or as that guy who wrote an article on the Extinction (which can be read on Tumblr here(https://douglysium.tumblr.com/post/717929126195003392/what-would-avatars-of-the-extinction-be-like-a) and Google Docs here(​What would Avatars of the Extinction be like?: A TMA Speculation)). Suffice to say I might be a bit of a TMA fan. Also, spoilers for TMP up until episode 4. You can read my ramblings on the last episode here (TMP Quick Thoughts 5).

However, Protocol offers a very unique opportunity and experience for me because I didn’t actually get into TMA until after it was over and I binged all of it. So this is my first time experiencing something even remotely similar to what the original TMA fans probably experienced when waiting for each episode week by week and slowly having to put everything together with the limited information they had. So I decided to throw my hat into the ring since this might be my only chance to do something similar. However, I’m working on some longer form TMA content so I can’t spend as much time on these articles giving a bunch of super detailed thoughts. I will try to keep these short and that inevitably might mean some could have questions about why I think or predict certain things and in those cases I would probably recommend you read at least some of the two articles I mentioned above to get a better idea of where I’m coming from. This also means I won’t be giving you a play-by-play of every single thing that happens in the episode so I encourage you to listen to or read them yourselves and feel free to comment if you feel something is important.

These reviews are probably going to end up focusing mostly on the Entities and their manifestations as they are what I have thought about the most and spent the most time interpreting and there’s been a lot of… interesting theories floating around about how the Entities are manifesting that I want to go over.

Finally, I’m just going to say it right now, spoiler warning for all of The Magnus Archives. I know that Jon and co said one could start with Protocol and be fine, and while that’s probably true, media like this tends to be made in conversation with or take into consideration what came before it in the irl chronology in order to connect them. While I’m sure you could skip The Magnus Archives, I don't really see the point of skipping over it when we are already getting characters from TMA showing up in TMP in Protocol. So to me it’s pretty clear that if we want to understand the full picture of TMP and all the things it is trying to say then we can’t just try to pretend TMA doesn’t exist or scrub it away. Just because you could understand what’s happening without the context in broad strokes doesn’t mean you're getting all the nuances.

These articles are meant to be quick and short so sorry if there’s typos and if I don’t address every possible question or possibility. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this series outside of the prologue so be sure to skim some of my other articles.

Episode 6 “Introductions”

Like usual, we are perceiving the scene through a device (a computer in this case) to let us know something is watching the characters. It’s very obvious that with Sam’s talk of coffee and the commentary on getting curtains that this job at the O.I.A.R. has a lot of work hours at very odd or long stretches of time. The way Alice talks implies that she’s been in similar situations at this job, so it doesn’t seem like the extreme exhaustion Sam is experiencing is completely unusual or unheard of. Sam is so tired that he is struggling to stay awake and has dozed off at least once at his desk. Highlighting the O.I.A.R.’s stressful work conditions we hear of a new hire and Alice says “...but this job has kind of a high turnover rate, so Lena likes to hire a couple of replacements when an old-timer leaves.” This also contextualizes Sam’s hire a bit since it would imply that Sam was hired because a previous employee left. 

Whether they left simply due to stress and terrible working conditions or potentially something even more sinister and possibly even supernatural I cannot say. In TMA it wasn’t unheard of for Archival assistants (like Sasha and some of Gertrude’s assistants) to get killed or seriously wounded after some encounter with the supernatural due to the nature of their job. Even Michael ended with the terrible fate of somehow being merged with The Distortion and potentially also dying in a way in the process. However, based on how Sam’s job has been going so far there haven’t been any direct encounters with the supernatural due to the O.I.A.R. and we have yet to hear if the organization has some dangerous artifact storage and testing facility like the Magnus Institute did.

ALICE 

“Oh Sam. The sun is the enemy. It rules the world of light but we who dwell in darkness feel only its wrath. Get the curtains.”

And

ALICE 

“Then we draw lots and one of you gets eaten at the Christmas party.”

These do sound like concepts that could relate to The Dark and The Flesh so it’s possible that this could be some weird foreshadowing or dramatic irony or Alice is coping with vague concepts she’s heard before in statements by joking about them. But even I feel like this is really REALLY reaching here and I don’t think Alice is an Avatar or some secret double agent. There’s also nothing to suggest she is particularly aware of the possibility of Entities and if anything she is sort of in denial about the statements or believes them to not be real so I don’t think Alice knows what The Flesh is or something.

When Gwen is asked about the new hire she seems pretty confident that they aren’t sticking around which points to how stressful, possibly unhealthy, or potentially even dangerous, the O.I.A.R.’s job actually is.

The statement we get in this episode is interesting because it’s another one where the computers themselves aren’t reading the statements. This time it’s audio from an emergency hotline between an operator and someone the transcripts dub as “Needles.”

Describing what happened here is actually going to be a bit difficult but Needles calls the emergency line (999) and we are quickly made aware that Needles is with someone else. When asked for details about the situation Needles says “You’ll have to forgive him, he’s full of needles at the moment.” At first this sounds like Needles was just torturing this poor guy but we later hear

POLICE OPERATOR 

“Are you in any danger?” 

NEEDLES 

“(Amused) Me? Gosh no! No. I suspect he thought I was at first though. The way he postured and pulled out his little knife”

Which seems to imply that in actuality it was Needles who was attacked first. However, it is very clear that they are enjoying the torment of his assailant at this point and when they realize that calling the line didn’t immediately give away their location they say “Wonderful! I have longer than I thought. In that case, we’ll have a little natter at our end and call you back once we come to a decision about which service.”

After a weird and quick conversation Needles requests to get transferred to the police line and begins talking with a police operator. The description of what happened here is purposefully a bit confusing and vague. The way Needles puts it, the man postured and pulled out a knife (so Needles was probably being robbed or attacked) but they also say “Although I really wouldn’t go so far as to call him an attacker. In fact, in many ways it was an act of affection by the end. An embrace. A cuddle, even! Ha! Yes, let’s call it a cuddle.”

After being asked if they are in any pain Needles says “Of course it hurts, how couldn’t it? But I’ve come to rather enjoy the pain by now. All those teeny tiny holes bright and sharp… ” And when asked about the state of the man that attacked Needles we get.

NEEDLES 

“I doubt he’s going anywhere ever again.”

POLICE OPERATOR 

“Is he breathing? Does he need an ambulance?”

NEEDLES 

“Absolutely, but that isn’t the real question, is it?”

When Needles is asked for a location so that an ambulance can be dispatched we get-

NEEDLES 

“I know exactly where I am. I grew up here, you know. It was a decent place back then. Nice people lived here, you understand? Not like now. Now it’s a dreadful place. Not safe to walk at night. I take some pride in that, actually.”

POLICE OPERATOR 

“Sir, I need an address or a landmark. Tell me where you are.”

NEEDLES 

“Oh the land is definitely marked now, same as me, and it feels good. It satisfies in a way I never really thought anything would. It fills that hollow, lonely hole inside quite nicely. It’s not sadism, or masochism, I tried both of those already. I think it’s the fear, the look in their eyes once they realize their mistake, it just makes me want to hold them close, so I do.”

There’s been a common theory going around that the Entities are based on desire now instead of fear but Needles saying “It’s not sadism, or masochism, I tried both of those already. I think it’s the fear, the look in their eyes once they realize their mistake...” I think basically confirms that it is still the fear that is most important since if it was merely desire than sadism or masochism probably would have worked according to Needles. Additionally, we later see Needles trying to scare the police operator and get this exchange. 

NEEDLES 

“Do I frighten you? Mr. Operator.”

POLICE OPERATOR 

“Is that why you called? To try and scare whoever picked up?”

NEEDLES 

“Call it desert. But you’re not afraid are you? Unsettled, off-balance but nothing more. Why is that?”

POLICE OPERATOR 

“I guess I’m just not scared of needles. “

NEEDLES 

“(irritated) Not sca- This isn’t some poxy blood test, some little pinprick, this is hundreds, thousands of razor sharp points pushing into your flesh. We’re talking about the embrace of an iron maiden, an excruciating agony formed from a thousand tiny hurts.”

This isn’t any different than all the various Avatars from TMA harvesting fear for their Entities and draws comparisons to when Simon Fairchild asked Martin if he was afraid of rollercoasters for example. 

If we go back to the first quote, I mentioned that the comment about the land being marked is interesting. Usually, phrases like “marked” are used to refer to people who have been marked by one or more Entities due to an encounter or marking them as a target. However, there is a precedent for Entities having a strong connection to places. The Domains are an obvious example but there’s also the way Smirke’s architecture can interact with the Entities and the Entities themselves often physically manifest as places. It is possible to physically enter The Lonely or Buried through various means. We also know that The Web spent a lot of time around Hilltop Road making the gap in reality bigger and bigger. Maybe the place Needles is referring to has been marked as some sort of “hunting ground” for the Entities or maybe it is near the gap in reality / where the Entities emerged from in this universe. Assumedly, just because the Entities were pulled through the gap that wouldn’t mean it magically close.

Between the first and last interactions I mentioned the police operator tries to pass this situation off to his supervisor but Needles says “(suddenly sharp) If you leave this call I shall embrace him again and I sincerely doubt he would survive. (returning to jocular) You know what? I’d like to change my answer. I did stab him, yes. I certainly repositioned myself to 

make sure he got some in his face. In his eyes. Does that count? He keeps touching them like he’s going to be able to pull all the metal out but I told him it will only drive them deeper. It won’t last too long, thankfully, he’ll finish bleeding out any minute now, but in the meantime that fear wafting off him as he lies there, half afraid of death and half afraid of living with what has happened to him. It’s quite delightful. And it drowns out the aftershave nicely.”

With this Needles finally seems to manage to get a little bit of fear out of the police officer.

NEEDLES

“You don’t believe me. Yes, I suppose that makes sense. It is somewhat outlandish and that’s only exacerbated by the distancing effect of the phone. Yes, the more I think on it the more obvious it is that this call was never going to give me what I was after. I wonder, though, which of the police contact centres you’re hiding in Hendon? Lambeth?”

POLICE OPERATOR 

“Excuse me?”

NEEDLES 

“Lambeth, then and I am sure I could recognize your voice now.”

NEEDLES CONT’D 

“Ah, there it is. There’s the fear. Not much, just a little prick but we found it in the end, didn’t we?”

POLICE OPERATOR 

“I’m transferring you to my supervisor now.”

NEEDLES 

“Then I’ll be going. I’ve no interest in speaking to them, and besides, we agreed that if you left the call my friend here would have a last little cuddle before I go. I do hope speak again soon Mr. operator, see if we can’t find some other frightful little pinpricks we can explore together…”

And the victim of Needles is presumably left to his fate.

So what actually happened here? I don’t think we are going to get any straight concrete answers for a while but it seems like the gist of what happened is that someone tried to rob or attack Needles with a knife and somehow (in a rather confusing event) the assailant ended up hurt instead of Needles. Well, actually it does sound like Needles could’ve been stabbed since they say “Of course it hurts, how couldn’t it? But I’ve come to rather enjoy the pain by now. All those teeny tiny holes bright and sharp… ” However, there’s a bit of word play going on here so Needles could be talking about the knife sure but more likely it seems they are potentially talking about the Needles.

The two main possibilities I think is that Needles is referring to the pain the man is in or they are referring to somehow inserting the needles into themselves or experiencing it. They do mention that masochism doesn’t seem to have the result they were looking for (implying they may have tried it) and masochism is defined as “the tendency to derive pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from one's own pain or humiliation.” and “(in general use) the enjoyment of what appears to be painful or tiresome.” Masochism tends to refer to inflicting pain on one’s self so could it be that Needles is implying that they have experimented with inserting needles into their own flesh?

Either way it ends with Needles hugging the man and sticking him with a bunch of needles. I don’t know if Needles became connected to one or more Entities in the moment of the attack or was somehow messing with the supernatural before this event via something like an artifact, encounter, specific ability, etc. and just now realized that fear was the key or if Needles gained the ability during the attack and was experimenting with how it worked as he tortured the man. Needles does say “Now it’s a dreadful place. Not safe to walk at night. I take some pride in that, actually” which could imply he might have something to do with the night becoming less safe. Maybe he was attacking people in the night and experimenting with either his abilities or something else?

I’ve been a pretty big advocate for the theory that Smirke’s 14 (with the potential addition of the Extinction but that is more up in the air) are still around to some capacity and most if not all their fears are still applicable to all of the statements up until this point but this is by far the vaguest encounter so far. Needles shares many traits that could apply to multiple Entities for different reasons. The needles could easily be the influence of a fear like The Slaughter or even Desolation, and how confused everyone seems could point to The Spiral while Needles’ ability to magically know the police operator’s location resembles The Eye and Avatars like Jonah and Jon’s ability to magically know things. If this event is taking place at night The Dark could be at play and Needles mentions “Now it’s a dreadful place. Not safe to walk at night. I take some pride in that, actually.” even though the time and area at which this encounter is taking place seems unclear. There’s a possibility for The Flesh with themes of body horror. Needles notes that the needles dig deeper into the man whenever he tries to pull them out, which is probably the needles reacting to the fear present or trying to draw as much fear as possible out of the man desperately trying to pull them out.

Is Needles some kind of Avatar? Maybe, but it’s hard to say. As Jon in TMA pointed out the term Avatar, Monster, etc. in TMA can be extremely vague and nebulous and bleed into each other as they aren’t perfect little boxes. An Avatar seems to be a person who grows close to an Entity and becomes favored by them and is thus granted various abilities at the cost of being tied to the Entity. They tend to be stronger than the normal person but grow weaker if they don’t feed their Entities with the proper fear for a long period of time. Some might even die from “starving.” Jude Perry describes it as being akin to the idea of “Feed it, fearlessly and without hesitation, or it will feed on you.” Becoming an Avatar is stated to require an active choice and some sort of death be it literal or symbolic (so like an ego death I assume?). It’s also clear that while becoming an Avatar requires a choice it doesn’t need to be a well informed choice. That is to say it’s not like the Avatar needs to know what Entity they are signing up for or even that the Entities exist. Not to mention they don’t need to know exactly what an Avatar is. So it’s possible to become an Avatar without realizing it.

Monsters are basically actually part of a specific Entity. They are kind of like an Entity’s “fingers” or some other body part if those parts were actually sentient. The difference between an Avatar and Monster is that Avatars tend to be more like people empowered by and addicted to / reliant on an Entity while Monsters are actually an aspect of their respective Entity. 

Someone who is marked by an Entity is usually someone who has basically been marked as prey or had some sort of direct encounter or contact with the Entities.

Being aligned with an Entity seems to just refer to someone one or more Entities like or favor (as seen with Martin being favored by both The Eye and The Lonely. So much so that he got his own Domain tied to both Entities in the Post-Change world) and in the case of monsters and artifacts it just refers to the Entities they are tied to or come from. This can also get weird since while we usually only think of Avatars, Monsters, and Artifacts as having powers Martin was able to gain abilities from The Lonely despite not being an Avatar. Additionally, the position of Archivist grants a person in that position a specific set of powers whether or not they are an Avatar. For example, Gertrude was not an Avatar and still had powers granted to her by The Eye (even if she didn’t like to use them) and Jon had some powers even before he became an Avatar.

Of course, the lines between these concepts can get vague and debatable. Especially since some Monsters can take the form of humans or show human emotions (such as the Distortion) and when Anabelle transforms into a spider she seems to be more like what many would think of as a Monster, and The Web is presumably the only thing keeping her alive (since apparently the skull of her human form was caved in). There’s also certain characters like Agnes who would technically seem like an Avatar or person but becoming an Avatar requires a choice and it seems like Agnes was granted her state via a ritual from the Cult of the Lightless Flame and the choice of her mother not herself. However, we see with characters like Martin and Gertrude it is possible to have powers without being an Avatar. We also see with Jon that you can have powers due to being aligned with an Entity and then become an Avatar later. So in all likelihood Agnes became an Avatar later in life after she was born aligned with or favored by The Desolation. In fact there’s a pretty good argument for this when you consider that Agnes and Jon both have similar roles as being the lynchpin for the rituals of their respective Entities and Jon didn’t start out as an Avatar either.

I was originally going to have a segment where I go over what Entities Needles most likely belong to but I’m drawing a bit of a blank. If I was forced to choose I would probably say something like The Spiral, The Flesh, or Slaughter. Is Needles just someone aligned with multiple Entities or is it just some weird overlap multiple Entities share? Maybe trying to view this interaction through the Entities is itself an act of hubris but it also wouldn’t be the first time a more nebulous manifestation has happened. I would go as far as to say that if there was one encounter that could debunk all my previous points it would probably be this one, but like I said before I would personally argue that it isn’t any more or less vague than what we have seen of the Entities in TMA. 

Is it possible Needles is somehow connected to every Entity? I mean theoretically that’s not impossible? In order for Jonah’s ritual to work he needed every Entity in it (including the seemingly clashing ones like The Vast and Buried / Eye and Stranger so while it might be tempting to say that it’s not possible for them to coexist in such an alignment we know that even seemingly clashing fears can have more overlapping or synergistic aspects with each other). However, this is kind of a reach given the information we have since there’s nothing to suggest The Vast even if you could maybe argue The Buried with the idea of feeling trapped depending on where the man is and maybe the needles prevent him from moving or something. Still seems like kind of a leap with so little information though and I’m not sold on the idea.

When Sam notes that the case seems like it just sort of ends and questions Alice on what the deal with that is she says “I barely hear my own. You tune them out after a while.” Which points to the whole “ignorance is bliss” themeing I’ve come back to over and over and a philosophy Alice seems to take to heart. One of the themes of the Eye I have pointed out previously is the idea of “seeing too much” and how this can drive you mad or otherwise endanger you and potentially harm you mentally. Something that I don’t thibk I’ve done a good job explaining is that when I point these out I am not saying that Sam and Alice are secretly Avatars aligned with The Eye or something. What I am arguing is that the O.I.A.R. is probably somehow connected to The Eye and that in TMA the Eye and The Magnus Institute seemed to attract people with certain qualities or personality quirks (like how someone who tends towards violence is more likely to fall to The Slaughter). What I am arguing is that Alice and Sam might unknowingly end up in The Eye’s clutches in the same way Jon ended up becoming aligned with The Eye via becoming the Archivist.

We are finally introduced to the new employee Celia and both she and Sam bond over how weird the interview is. Something we heard in one of the protocol trailers was Lena asking if Sam had any previous supernatural encounters. Celia mentions “I’ll be honest, I thought there’d be more people working here given the size of the building?” Which makes me wonder if more people used to work for the O.I.A.R. at some point or if they were expecting more people. It could also just be some weird ominous stuff or other parts of the building are being used for some other (probably shady) purpose(s). Maybe they have their own artifact storage somewhere? Maybe there are other people working there but they are somehow isolated from each other? Who knows.

Sam says that it’s just him, Gwen, Alice, and the IT manager (Colin) to which Celia responds “Four weirdos in a basement reading scary stories. Dream job.” Which is a funny description and one that could probably also apply pretty well to the Archives of the Magnus Institute (at least with Jon being a weirdo reading scary stories in a (possible) basement along with his handful of coworkers).

ALICE 

“Yeah, you got that hardened killer look in your eyes.” 

CELIA 

“Damn, and here I thought I’d hidden it behind a sweet and bubbly demeanor. Anyway, I’d better go.”

I get the gut feeling that this interaction between Alice and Celia was some sort of ominous foreshadowing I don’t yet understand considering how… shady Celia seems later but I try not to skip ahead too much when talking about an episode. 

We get some of the nosier parts of Sam’s personality when he reveals to Celia that he knows about Alice’s secret stash of biscuits (a cookie for us Americans) and Alice even questions how Sam would know this. Normally, I would go on a talk about Sam’s parallels with The Eye via curiosity and knowledge and all that but the answer is a much more mundane “It’s literally the same place you did when we were students – back of the top shelf in the upper leftmost cabinet. Where you think people won’t be tall enough to see them.” Alice does warn him not to tell other people but with how much she’s joking it’s hard to take the warning that seriously and I don’t think she cares that much.

Conclusion

Yeah, idk, definitely one of the weirder episodes so Feel free to leave any comments or corrections and I may say if I agree or disagree with them and why.