#warning sometimes i fail to keep the tag list timely updated too since i usually copy paste from a previous post

[adelaidedrubman]

OH also since i’ve gotten a few new followers recently just wanted to fyi i LOVE getting tagged in mutals’ posts to get to see what they create please @ me in everything.

i am however a little ball of anxiety when it comes to tagging mutuals in my stuff, so i use an opt-in only system so my brain has a harder time convincing me i’m annoying everyone. i use separate lists for wip posts and other tag games in case you’re interested in one but not the other.

[minghaocouture]

Fearless: Chapter 5

Pairing: Werewolf!Jeon Wonwoo X Vampire!Reader Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Non-Idol Au Warning: Language Rating: T WC: 3.8K AU Lore:   Vampire Coven Info/Wolf Pack Info/Lore Info

A/N: So I didn’t mention, but Minghao is def my favorite to write in this AU. I can’t wait until I get to his actual story. Oh idk if anyone cares, but if you wanna be tagged for updates just let me know!

Chapter List: Chapter 1/Chapter 2/Chapter 3/Chapter 4/Chapter 5/Chapter 6/Chapter 7/Chapter 8/Chapter 9/Chapter 10/Chapter 11/Chapter 12/Chapter 13/Chapter 14

***

Wonwoo groaned, feeling a sense of deja vu as he heard the blaring alarm of his roommate going off...yet again. Only this time, the man wasn’t nearly as tired as he had been the day before so he welcomed the wake up call. There were quite a few things on his to do list today, work included. Before his shift began though he needed to find Sojung, needed to talk to her. He had a hunch but couldn’t find enough information on his own. She was the only one he could really trust with his questions, she was the only one he couldn’t see completely freaking out.

So he went ahead and got up to get dressed, pulling on some jeans and a rather comfortable gray sweater that’s sleeve were a bit too long and ended up stopping part of the way down his hand. The alarm song was still blaring loudly through the room, he rolled his eyes at the fact that somehow Mingyu was still snoring through it.

Ignoring the alarm, Wonwoo left their shared room and made his way towards the kitchen were Sojung would no doubt be. It was a bit earlier than he usually got up so she was probably still making breakfast with either Jacob or Sana. Just as he expected, Sonjung and surprisingly Felix stood in the kitchen. Felix attempting something with eggs? Maybe scrambling them? Wonwoo wasn’t too sure, and from the looks of it Felix wasn’t too sure either. Sojung was on the other side of the kitchen making...pancake batter? Wonwoo wondered for a moment if he should start trying to learn more about cooking, but that was a thought for another day. 

He passed through the threshold and made his way straight over to Sojung. She seemed to notice his presence and glanced over at him as she lifted the bowl to begin stirring her batter. 

“Sojung can I talk to you?”

***

It was a good 20 minutes before breakfast had been finished, but just as requested Sojung came to the living room alone and shut the door behind her. There weren’t a lot of places to talk privately here, what with 12 people living under one roof. It got a bit stressful at times. 

Sojung looked a bit worried, as if his request was something to be concerned about. She didn’t say anything though until she sat down, taking a seat on the couch closer to the side where Wonwoo’s chair resided. 

“So, we don’t have the most time. But what do you know about Mates? And how do we react to them when we meet them?” He began, a bit of worry tugging at his chest. He began pulling at the ends of his sleeves as he continued. “I looked through some of the books we have here but I couldn’t really get a concrete answer.” 

Sojung seemed a bit taken back by his question, like his inquiry was the farthest away from what she had expected. Pushing a few strands of her light brown locks behind her ear, she adjusted herself on the couch.

“Well, from what we’re told as kids. Your mate is someone you just can’t ignore, it can be anyone of any gender or species.” Wonwoo felt his heart sink a bit, any species? “And when you meet them, it’s less of an instantaneous attraction to them but more of a pull. Where you’re subconsciously drawn to them.”

This definitely lined up with what Wonwoo had been feeling the past two days, a pull, a need to talk and be around that person. That...Vampire. The realization had his heart in knots. Not only was his mate most likely a Vampire but...the Pack was planning an attack on the Coven within the next few days. He felt conflicted about how to react to this situation. He refused to betray his pack but if let the attack happen then...he would never even have a chance to be with his mate. That thought alone had his inner wolf crying out in sadness.

“Why the sudden interest? Did you start feeling a pull? It wasn’t that Vampire girl was it?” She questioned, as always perceptive. Wonwoo froze for a moment, only now remembering that Sojung was currently the only member who knew about his interaction with that woman. Now he wasn’t the best liar, but he seemed to be doing a lot of it lately. He only hoped that this time Sojung didn’t see through his pathetic attempt.

“Oh uh, no. I just got curious, since i couldn’t find that much about it in any of our books. And i mean my parents barely talked to me about mates before I left, so I figured it’d be better to know.” Hopefully she bought the ‘thirst for knowledge’ lie. To be fair, out of everyone in the cabin, he would have been the only one asking just for pure information's sake.

Before Sojung could question him more, the door to the living room was thrown open and Seungcheol entered. If it was possible, he looked even more tired than he had been the day before. To be fair, Sojung wasn’t too far behind him in the exhaustion department from the looks of it. They were pushing themselves in order to keep the pack safe.

“When you get off work tonight make sure to come straight home. We’re having a pack meeting at 9 since everyone is home tonight. We need to go over our plan for the Full Moon.”

Wonwoo’s heart sank, he didn’t have a plan yet. But if that Vampire was his mate...he would have to figure out how to call off this plan.

***

“I absolutely can’t believe you have nothing better to do tonight than babysit me.” You muttered, your eyes bore holes into the ceiling but your words were harshly directed towards Minghao. The man in question had claimed your desk as his home for the rest of the night. After your confrontation last night, he decided that until you were healed enough to be assigned patrols again, someone would have to watch you. Since you obviously weren’t going to just stay at home like you were supposed to.

Minghao flipped the page of the book he was reading, ignoring your whining. He obviously wasn’t up to playing your game, and considering he had been around Jun for about a century now...it was fair to assume he was pretty good at tuning people out when he needed to.

Groaning you rolled over, flopping your face onto your pillow in irritation. It wasn’t like something like suffocation could kill you anyway. The last time you had checked the clock it was almost 10, so sometime in the next thirty minutes you would need to magically get rid of Minghao or you weren’t going to make your meeting. 

Quickly you pushed yourself up from your bed, taking a seat cross legged on the mattress. A confused look graced your face as you tried to recall when you had decided you were even going to the beach like Wonwoo had asked. 

Your companion seemed to notice the conflicted look that had crossed your features. With silence that only Minghao had, he placed the book down on your desk and cocked an eyebrow at you.

“So, are you going to tell me what’s so important you keep disobeying orders? If you do I might let you out tonight.” He began, and he seemed honest about it. He leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on his knees as he waited for you to speak. “Keep in mind that I know all of your tells when you lie, so it’d be smarter to just tell me the truth.”

A chill ran down your spine at his words. You had no idea how someone that looked so slender could be so terrifying when he wanted to be. With this in mind, you groaned loudly. This was the definition of a rock and a hard place. Gods it was frustrating.

“Fine you want the truth. I think...fuck I think I might be able to get the Wolves off our back. I have a contact that I was going to meet tonight, and he might be able to help me.” To be fair, was it really a lie if it was based on truth? Sure Wonwoo hadn’t said anything about helping you get the Wolves to back off but he was also weirdly going out of his way to talk to you. 

“And why didn’t you tell Jun or Soonyoung?” of course he had a follow up, he wouldn’t just be like ‘oh well why didn’t you say so?’ and let you go. That just wasn’t like Minghao, he was too through for that. It’s why he was an enforcer. 

“Because…” Now was not the time for your creativity to fail you, but you couldn’t exactly figure out a good lie for this one.

“Because he is a wolf…” The words came out pretty mumbled and quiet. Your gaze left Minghao, not really looking forward to seeing his reaction to this revelation. Honestly, just meeting with the wolf was bad enough but actually talking to him could be grounds for being cast out. Which was definitely the last thing you wanted. You jaw tensed as you waited for him to begin berating you, but the moment never came.

“I know.” 

Your eyes quickly jumped back over to your elder, the look on his face was rather neutral. Before you realized what you were doing, you had stood from your bed and made your way over to him.

“You know? How the hell do you know?!” 

“You really think I saw you yesterday in the residential district and just kept going with my night? I sent Kevin home and followed you obviously.” Of course he did. You honestly should have expected that, but for some reason you had believed you had actually gotten away with sneaking past the sneakiest person in the whole Coven. At this point you felt a bit stupid. 

“I’ll give you points for telling me at least some of the truth. I’m pretty surprised you told me you were talking to a Wolf, but he didn’t say anything about helping you. So for lying I need to deduct points for that.” At this he stood up, brushing past you as he walked towards the door. He stopped once right after he grabbed the knob.

“Your meeting is at 11 right? I was going to give you until 2am, but since you lied to me you get until 1am. If you’re late, expect Soonyoung to get to hear you’ve been meeting with a wolf.” 

You were baffled, mouth agape as Minghao left and shut the door behind him. He was...letting you go meet a wolf? A wolf that was known to be a part of your current rivals and mortal enemies? Honestly, baffled didn’t even begin to cover the range of emotions you were currently feeling. Adrenaline seemed to rush through your veins as you snapped your head towards your nightstand to check the clock. 

10:30.

Fuuuuuuuck

***

Wonwoo was grateful that the strategy meeting hadn’t lasted as long as he had expected. He hadn’t thought he would make it on time, but he walked up to the beach right at 11. The Vampire, whose name he really needed to learn tonight, was nowhere in sight. It was a large beach though, so he casually began strolling down the beach.

The beach was mostly silent tonight, the only sound other than waves was the distant sound of a mermaid luring in a helpless human who had unfortunately been afflicted with a broken heart. He was a bit grateful that the mermaid’s calls never worked on creatures besides humans, while he might not have had a broken heart he was still grateful he wouldn’t have to deal with that...ever.

He continued his walk silently, stopping every so often to simply stare up at the moon. It was almost full, only four more days before Seungcheol’s plan would go into effect. Frankly at this point, Wonwoo was dreading the Full Moon which was quite strange for someone of his nature. Usually the Full Moon was a comfort and a source of power for the wolves. So to have it bring him such a sense of dread wasn’t something he was used to.

Thirty minutes passed and Wonwoo decided it would probably be smart to head home. She wasn’t coming, and it was pretty dumb to assume she would. Just as Wonwoo was about to give up and walk home with his tail between his legs, he heard the sound of footsteps against the snow covered sand. 

Turning he saw a figure running down the beach towards him. His Vampire. His heart caught in his chest at that thought. She wasn’t his, not technically? Not yet? No, even thinking that sounded predatory. He wasn’t going to force her into anything, she would have to decide if she acknowledged the mate bond or not.

He hoped she did.

***

Your legs burned as you raced down the beach, barely catching sight of him as he appeared to be leaving. Skidding to a stop a few feet in front of him, you slumped over. You had been basically forced to run from the bar to the beach which is about an hour when walking, running had gotten you here in about 30 minutes. 

“Whoever said Vampires had unlimited stamina...was an asshole...and a liar.” You muttered between pants. Once you were back to normal, you straightened yourself and eyed the wolf. You were honestly still a bit worried that he had planned some kind of attack. 

You noticed a small smirk on his lips, as he crossed his arms over his chest. “You know, I figured the rules of politeness or whatever you live by would mean that you wouldn’t be late.” He teased. Oh, oh was that how we were playing? Rolling your eyes at his terrible joke, you placed a hand on your hip.

“Oh, haha. Bite me wolf boy. I had to run all the way here.” You retorted. While it was in fact a bad joke, thinking about it again caused you to chuckle a bit. So he was funny and attractive, that was pretty annoying. 

Your eyes flicked towards him again when he took a step forward, you retaliated by taking a step back and eyeing him harshly.

“Just because we are talking doesn’t mean I trust you.” It had only been two days ago that the two of you had literally been fighting. And after everything, you still couldn’t bring yourself to fully trust a werewolf. “So you say what you wanted to say from right there, and then we both go back home content to try kill each other tomorrow.” 

You watched as his smile morphed into a neutral yet almost disappointed frown. Clearing his throat, he lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck and his eyes turned to face the ocean waves that continued to crash into the shore. The moon seemed to cast a gentle glow on him, and if you were being honest he looked beautiful. Which was weird to even think about, you enemy being beautiful and all. Especially since he seemed so uncomfortable with your words.

“Well, I don’t want to kill you or your friends.” He muttered, not returning his gaze towards you. It wasn’t something that you should go off about, it really wasn’t. But just hearing those words seemed to make you angry, that anger boiled in your gut as you took a step closer to him.

“Oh? Well then why don’t you tell your friends to stop trying to break into our home? Or why don’t you get them to not hurt my Coven? I’m sure Hyunjin would appreciate not having a broken arm.” 

Running a hand through his hair, he kept his eyes out towards the moon. The sound of the waves pulling in and out was the only sound that filled your ears for a good long moment. When he finally responded, well it wasn’t what you had hoped for.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Oh I’m sure it’s not. All you wolves are the same, we were doing just fine here until you guys showed up and started fighting us for this town.” You weren’t quite yelling, but a harsh tone had laced itself into your words. Frustration flowed through you as you took another step towards him. At this point, despite your hesitation, you couldn’t tell if you were going to attack him again or not. All of your senses told you not to, but your rage continued to push your forward towards him.

Finally, he turned to face you once again. A similar look of frustration on his own features, like what you were saying was actually getting to him. He noticed you had crept closer and even though you were painfully angry, he could see that you were hurting as well. Sure there had always been hatred between your two races but this felt different from your typical prejudice.

“Oh, and you Vampires are any better? Leaving corpses in the woods for us to find. Felix is only 20, he shouldn’t have to see a dead human for at least another two decades, if ever.” Remembering the fear that had shook Felix when he had returned home from his run that day, it was a terrible sight. The first corpse was found not even two weeks after they had moved into the cabin.

This accusation seemed to only fuel your fury. By this point you were almost directly in front of the wolf. Fist balled at your sides as you glared up at him. 

“You seriously think we just dine and dash like that?” It was pretty damn insulting. Even before Soonyoung and you had gotten settled as a Coven, the two of you had done your best to not fully drain anyone you had drunk from. Of course there have been accidents during extreme situations, but those were far and few between. So if someone was draining humans and dumping them in the forest, well that was news to you.

“Well, unless there is something about the Fae I don’t know about, then your Coven is the only fit. Considering all of the corpses have puncture wounds on their necks.” Now he was on the advance, taking a step closer towards you and closing what little distance that had been left. You now had to crane your neck slightly to keep your eyes on his face. You stood your ground, knowing that despite the evidence there was no way this had come from your Coven. That’s why you were a Coven, because you had the same morals and those morals had to do with not killing Humans whenever you felt like it. 

“It’s not us. I don’t know why there are bodies showing up in the forest but it isn’t my people. It’s just not. We aren’t like that.”

“Oh? And what are you like then? You seem all too willing to push all werewolves into a box so why don’t you tell me why I shouldn’t do the same to you?” His challenge had you flinch, but you refused to break his eye contact. After all, that would be to admit defeat.  Before you could return the biting remark, he stepped back and dropped his gaze once again.

When his eyes returned to you, you could see the remorse now lingering on the surface.“That...that was uncalled for. I’m sorry. I’m not here to fight you, I just want to figure some things out.” He pushed a weak smile onto his face, and you noticed his hands almost nervously playing with the hem of his sweater sleeves. “If you say it’s not your Coven then I believe you. But, can you believe that my Pack didn’t really mean to hurt that kid? I talked to my brothers about it and they said it was an accident. Apparently the boy attacked them on sight, which is fair, but they were just acting to defend themselves.” 

You’d have to confirm this with Hyunjin when you got home, but for now, against your better judgement, you decided to trust him. Taking a step back as well, you crossed your arms over your chest and nodded but kept a stern look on your face. Keeping that might help remind you that this was the enemy you were talking to, he wasn’t your friend and at the drop of a hat the two of you could get into another fight. It was something you seemed to be having trouble remembering the longer you were around him, frankly it was pretty annoying. 

Your nod brought a smile to his face, and you almost completely forgot what you had been thinking. It was a much cuter smile than you were expecting from him, especially since the two of you had literally just been at each other’s throats. Clearing your throat, this time it was your turn to avoid his gaze.

“Okay you’ve got to stop doing that.” He just tilted his head in confusion, his smile morphing into a rather cute look of confusion. “Don’t give me that look. You know what you’re doing. Trying to be cute just so I’m not mad at you anymore. It’s not gonna work, that barely works for people I actually know.”

It wasn’t until you noticed the new smug look on his face that you realized just what you had confessed to him. Before he could tease you about your words, your phone came to life with noise. The alarm you had set, letting you know that you had to leave. You muttered a curse.

“Looks like we have to cut tonight short, mut-...Wonwoo. I’ll ask around and see if anyone knows about the corpses.” You said, irritated at the short time limit you had been given. “I’ll try and get out again tomorrow night but I don’t know how lucky i’ll be tomorrow. I guess you can just wait for me again?”

“Or, better idea, we exchange phone numbers? Then you can tell me if you’re coming. I’ve got people I’ve got to keep from getting suspicious too.” While he wasn’t wrong, you didn’t really know how you felt about that. After deciding you didn’t have the time to debate this you quickly said the number, repeating it once more after he quickly fumbled with his own cell phone.

After he confirmed the number, he flashed you an almost cheeky smile. As if this had been his plan since you had arrived and he was glad that it had worked.

“And your name?” 

[arigatouiris]

head over heels // b.b — [01]

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader [Female pronouns]

Warnings: swearing; angst [a lot of it]; mentions of drug abuse and explicit sexual references; mentions of anxiety, depressive thoughts, suicide, post-traumatic stress; fluff [in later chapters]

Follows events after Endgame, but Tony, Natasha, Steve, Loki are alive in this universe.

Word count: 2143

Author’s Note: I’m going to try and update everyday again with this story, but I do have one request, and although this is a bit shameless, I’d really like it if you tell me what you think? I’m not sure if this is a plotline that many will like, so if you could let me know what your thoughts are it’d be really helpful because I’d be even more motivated to continue this! 

Those who want to be on the tag-list, do send me an ask~

01. sunshine

✿

“Smile your day away. Happy Wednesday!”

Perhaps, it was a common acknowledgement among those who lived near 212 E, 9th Street, New York, that BlueBells’ Cafe had great coffee and a great barista who served them. It was a small cafe, with roughly ten tables, with an additional four outside on the porch for those who’d like a smoke with their coffee. The ambience of the place was welcoming, they agreed, and (y/n)’s smile was what did the trick.

It was not new to them that (y/n), especially during and after the blip, was a smiley person. Whenever she handed out coffee, she’d make sure she’d remember your name, and when you came by next time around, she would most definitely not forget who you are and what your order was. The cafe wasn’t always crowded but on Monday evenings, the ten tables would be stacked. Sometimes, people came by just to be greeted by (y/n), whose smile turned tables around and frowns as well.

“Good morning, Martha. I hope you’re having a good day,” (y/n) greeted a senior lady who entered the store and stood in front of her to make an order. Martha smiled, and just before she could tell (y/n) what she wanted, “Is it the usual?”

Martha’s eyes glimmered with a spark that spoke of the silent acknowledgement of a good service, as (y/n) got around to making the woman’s coffee.

Monday mornings were usually busy, with people coming by and grabbing their coffees, and rushing along. However, when it turned close to 11:30 a.m., on a Monday, the cafe turned quiet. Sometimes, people would come to sit and read a book, but weekdays usually never called for a slower lifestyle among the New Yorkers. When it was around that time on that Monday, (y/n) breathed a bit slower and checked the time. She didn’t have to check the time on other days, perhaps even a week ago, but ever since a particular Sunday morning, she had grown a habit of checking the clock at this time.

In walked a man, brown hair and pained eyes, a brown jacket that covered his arms, and casual clothing. He was at the door when he shot (y/n) a look of familiarisation, before sitting down by one of the tables.

(y/n) smiled at him, earning a smile in return for herself, but only half of one. He was used to his half-smile, even if it was close to only three days since she had first met him. He never approached her at the counter, but always sat down to wait for her to come to him instead. There was no other waitress in the cafe but herself—it sometimes seemed like she had a lot to do, but the people who came to BlueBells’ always understood.

Walking over to the man, she poured him his cup of coffee and this time, offered something additional.

    “Would you like some cream with that, sir?”

She had still not learned his name, but he knew hers. Everyone knew hers, since her name was printed on the name-tag she wore. Sometimes, she wondered what his name was but his was a story not for her hands to fall upon. As was hers. Though, on some strange mornings, when she saw this man with the pained eyes, she was curious as to what his tale was. But each time these thoughts arrived, she shot down this curiosity, because she was grateful no one was curious about her.

(y/n) had a knack for letting things slide. She had the innate ability to keep herself from being curious about someone, for she didn’t want the same to happen to her. She had kept a great many things hidden to herself, and these were things she wouldn’t want to reveal to anyone. Therefore, a man with secrets, such as this coffee addict, was someone she understood quite well.

He looked up at her and pressed his lips together, before contemplating. He had never tried it with cream before, and he wasn’t sure if his mouth could still taste the easing bitterness that black coffee otherwise offered him. He looked away from her when he saw her smile at him, a smile he knew he couldn’t return, a smile he knew he didn’t deserve.

    “If you like the bitterness, you can reduce the sugar after.”

The brown haired man chuckled dryly once before pushing his cup forward, silently agreeing. Strangely, it was easy to communicate with this woman; he was certain that anyone else would have wanted to know who he was or at least what his name was. (y/n), on the other hand, never asked him a thing—except today when she asked him if he wanted cream in his coffee. He appreciated how much she respected his space, and it was almost as if she understood his need to not reveal.

No, he told himself before his thoughts escalated. There��s no way someone like her can understand.

However, after pouring in the cream, (y/n) tried to make a shape on his cup. The man blinked a couple of times and watched her try doing something she was not too good at, and giggle when she failed.

    “What’s that supposed to be, doll?” He asked, amused.

    “I was trying to draw a puppy smiling.”

The man let out a chuckle, without even realising it, “That’s definitely not a smiling puppy, (y/n).”

    “Oh, but everything lies in the attempt, doesn’t it?”

His heart warmed at how cheerful she was. He watched her giggle and walk away to the counter, leaving him to his devices. His gaze followed her as she moved casually along the path to her counter, how gracefully she carried herself, and how easy it was for her to line her path with a blissful aura. He kept telling himself that he didn’t deserve her kindness.

A couple of minutes later, he heard her voice from the counter. She was humming a tune, so softly that he felt almost at ease for the first time in a long while. She wasn’t paying attention to him, she was merely sitting by the long stool at her counter, staring at what looked like a magazine, and humming to herself. He believed she forgot that he was there, and since there was no one else in the cafe, she didn’t really need to stay too focused on the door.

    “Please don’t take my sunshine away…” His eyes widened at the song she was singing a song quite familiar to himself from so long ago.

He narrowed his eyes a bit and watched her quietly, as she continued singing. She wasn’t too great, not that he would ever tell her that, but listening to her sing to herself was an image that he believed he was blessed to see. A woman who had been nothing but kind to him, being absolutely fearless in front of a monster like him.

    “That song…” He let out, unaware that he had spoken aloud, immediately regretting for doing so.

(y/n) paused and her face turned red. He felt ashamed for mentioning it and breaking her out of her reverie, and he felt worse for making her feel awkward about herself. He shook his head and scratched the back of his neck to ease his growing anxiety.

    “I wasn’t… I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    “Oh, no. Please don’t be sorry,” She said, letting out an embarrassed chuckle. “I… I’m not a very good singer.”

    “I think otherwise.”

(y/n) giggled before smiling up at him and he wondered why she did that. She smiled at everyone who came by, and he wondered if her life had truly been that happy that she could let everyone around her know that the world still had some kindness to give.

    “You were saying something about the song?” She asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

It was perhaps the first time he had seen the woman be so curious. He had believed she was incapable of being curious, which was what prevented her from asking him what his name was or where he came from. Now, he realised, that she was simply respecting his privacy.

    “It’s an old song.” He let out, not wanting to say more.

(y/n) nodded before saying, “I like to listen to music not from my time.”

However, this sentence from her end sent him into a panic. He once again realised that this was not his time, and that his time was indefinite; he was here on borrowed time, a time not specific to him, which had him feeling displaced and unwanted. The culture, the sights, these were nothing to him, the women were different, the people were different, he had to take in a great many things, learned that his old house was nowhere, his old street was nowhere. The change had happened and he was still alive. A monster living on broken time.

    “Sir?”

He didn’t hear her, and rested his head on the table and shut his eyes. He felt his heart beat rapidly now, there was a pain in the back of his neck and his head was banging on the inside. His stomach twisted and churned like it was making curd, and he felt like there was no cafe he was in, he was back in Russia, he was back inside that cube, he was back—

    “Sir.”

There was a hand on his shoulder and he moved fast, with full force, trying to push away any contact that neared him. He moved even before he thought, and his eyes widened a fraction of a second after he realised what he had done. He had hurt the woman who had been nothing but kind to him, and when his hand didn’t make any contact with her, he stilled.

His eyes were wide open now, his mouth ajar, sweat dripping down his forehead. He stared at (y/n), who was now magically ahead of him; he wasn’t sure if she side-stepped quickly to avoid his hurl at her. He was panting quite visibly, and he was certain that the next thing she would say would be to ask him if he was alright.

    “You’re sweating, sir! Do you want me to turn on the air conditioning?”

His gaze turned questioning. She wasn’t asking him what happened? Wasn’t she curious as to why he almost beat her? On why he literally turned into a raisin of a man having a strong panic attack inside her cafe?

    “I…”

    “Don’t worry, sir. This only goes to prove that you’re someone who likes the cold. I’ll quickly turn on the air conditioning and be back. I’ve got a spare sweater for myself, so that’s alright.” (y/n) smiled at him and his eyes widened.

    “Also, do you want me to refill your cup, sir?”

    “Bucky.”

(y/n) paused, her back turning to him. Her smile died the second he told him her name, and she pressed her lips together. She wasn’t trying to get to know him; she had hoped she made that clear. However, knowing a name (or from the sound of it, a nickname) wasn’t too bad. Turning to him with a smile, she nodded once before skipping to her counter to bring him the coffee.

    “Cream with this round too, Bucky sir?”

Bucky chuckled before shaking his head to himself. He looked over at (y/n), smiling at him, and he offered her something that caused her head to spin.

A full smile.

    “I’d like that, thank you.”

When it took her a moment to smile in return, Bucky didn’t notice. His eyes were screaming at her still, begging now, begging for a release she knew she could never provide. Ignoring the screams, she scurried toward him and poured in the coffee to his mug, and the cream. She used the stirrer again to make a funny shape, causing the man to chuckle at her failed attempt.

    “What’s this supposed to be?”

    “Can’t you tell?” (y/n) asked, before pointing to his cup. “It’s a baby bird.”

    “That’s definitely not a baby bird, (y/n).”

    “Oh, Bucky sir, you’re just being mean now.” She pouted, causing him to smile to himself. A half smile.

Their eyes met and she looked away without alerting any suspicion. She couldn’t bear to hear the screaming from his side, it was not her duty to rectify the noise, it was not her job to mend the broken.

    “(y/n), just…” Bucky cleared his throat. “Just Bucky will do.”

This time, he noticed when she took a moment to smile at him. He wondered if he had done something wrong, but he almost forgot this thought when her smile shone up at him.

    “It’s nice to meet you, Bucky.”

✿

series taglist:

@miamua-posts  @yourwonderbelle @kissingg-incars @tanya-diggory @s-0-ldat @iheartsebastianstan @taliarosej00 @coraz0ndcristal @vlogsquadbss @azriels-forgotten-shadow 

[mysteryartisticwriter]

The Boy From the Record Store // Stefan Butler X Reader

A/N: I have news! Before Tumblr, I had a Wattpad account and since I haven’t updated there for a while, I decided to put all of my ‘Bandersnatch’ one shots all in one book on my Wattpad account. My Wattpad name is “Artistictia”

Stefan might act a little OOC at times of this but not much. I used a prompt that I saw somewhere on Tumblr but idk who made it but creds to them.

PROMPT: “Yeah, being pretty must be tiring.” “Then you must be exhausted.”

REQUESTS ARE OPEN BTW

Requested: Nope

Warnings: Cussing, SOME ADORABLE STEFAN BUTLER MOMENTS

Not my gif!! (Please tell me if you, the owner, would like me to take the gif down!)

For the past few days, you’ve been going to this local game and record shop that wasn’t too far from your home. Your mum and dad never really minded you going to the shop on your own, considering you got exercise.

Your work at a coffee shop was stressful sometimes, so you usually came to look at the newest released records and games to relax. The times you came were after work, usually at sunset. But only recently have you started to go a lot more during the day because of one specific boy.

His cute ruffled dark brown curls and light freckles that covered his face seemed to attract you right away. But your favorite detail about him was his beautiful and almost sunflower looking, green eyes. They always seemed to switch back and forth between two records or two games. But the way his gaze always flowed between them, his eyes focusing on them, it made you crazy.

Needless to say, you had a small crush on the boy from the record shop.

How could you not though? It was almost like everything about him was fascinating! From his physical features to the few words you’ve heard him quietly speak. The way he barely talks and walks around shyly, it makes him even more attractive and mysterious!

Unfortunately, you’re sort of like him. You were pretty shy at the same time talkative, then again, you only talked a lot when you got anxious and nervous. So trying to find a way to talk to him wasn’t going to be easy.

Here you are now, wandering the record store like an idiot, glancing back and forth between the boy of your dreams and your hands. You had a habit of fidgeting with your hands, sometimes biting your nails at times.

Thinking back and forth at what you should do at the moment, your mind almost broke.

‘Come on (Y/n)! It can’t be that hard! Just make a conversation. Oh god, what do I say? What do I start with?’ 

Finally, you worked up the courage and made your way over to him. You noticed he was looking through a list of records that he had written down, most of which you knew.

Looking through a box of records next to him, you saw the boy pick up two different record albums. He looked like he was having a tough choice to choose between which one to get, so you decided to take your chance to speak up.

“If I were you, I’d pick ‘The Bermuda Triangle’. It’s uh... pretty neat.” You told him, and your voice caused him to look over to you confused.

‘Neat? Neat?! That’s the fucking word I use?! God dang it, he probably thinks I’m weird.’ You internally screamed at yourself.

“Y-You listened to it?” The adorable looking boy asked, gesturing to the album he was holding. You sighed in relief in your head.

“W-Well uh...yeah! I-I noticed you were having some trouble trying pick which one to buy so I just thought I’d give you some insight on it. B-But of course you don’t really need to listen to me. I am just some r-random stranger you met in a record store anyway...” You rambled on, anxiety filling the hole where confidence once was.

To your luck, the dark haired boy gave you a small, shy smile. You returned it of course but looked at your shoes almost immediately, feeling embarrassed of your rambling.

“Th-Thank you for the insight. I have a list of several albums and music to pick from but I-I just never know which one to pick.” He admitted.

“No worries. I know that feeling.” Your courage started to build up once more.

An awkward silence made it’s way between the two of you, but you were too focused on the boy’s gorgeous, colorful hazel eyes. As for him, the boy was still trying to take in your beautiful appearance, himself.

It wasn’t until almost a minute later that you finally broke from your trance and stuck your hand out to the boy across from you.

“I-I’m (Y/n).” You greeted with a large smile. He mirrored it back to you, showing his white, pearly teeth and taking your petite hand in his slightly large ones. The hazel eyed man shook it firmly.

“Butler...St-Stefan Butler.”

‘Oh heavens, even his name sounds beautiful!’ You dreamed in your head.

Suddenly, Stefan started to yawn a bit. And even when he’s yawing, you can’t help but gawk at his features. Without thinking, you said something you would later regret.

“Yeah, being pretty must be tiring.” You added.

Finally realizing what you had said, you quickly covered your mouth with your hands. You could already feel your face burning to a bright red.

But Stefan kept quiet but his mouth soon formed into a smirk, a damn sexy smirk. This was literally the most confident that you’ve ever seen him, even though you’ve only seen him inside the shop.

“Then you must be exhausted.” Stefan’s slight smirk was still peeping through his lips.

Instantly, your face began to turn a brighter red and you failed to even stutter out random words. Stefan found this as a negative reaction and his smirk faded into a frown.

“I’m sorry! I-I was just...actually I-I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” Stefan apologized.

Breaking out of your flustered state, you waved him off.

“N-no no no! I’m the one who should apologize! I-I’m not very good at flirting and I didn’t even realize what I had said in the first place.” You explained, fidgeting with your hands once more.

The stunning smile appeared back on his face.

“I guess we both suck at flirting.” The both of you laughed at the joke.

After chatting for about half an hour, you looked outside to see that it was growing dark. Your parents would be expecting you home and you had work tomorrow in the morning as well.

“As much as I would love to keep this conversation going, I must be getting home. My parents will be expecting me home soon.” As soon as you told Stefan, his smile defaulted a bit.

“Oh well, should I be seeing you tomorrow then?” He asked, hope in his hazel eyes.

You thought about it before having another idea.

“Actually, how able you meet me at the café that’s a road down. I work there from 8:30 to 3:30, maybe we could have a coffee once I get off?” You offered to him.

Almost instantly, his face started to burn a light pink.

“Y-yeah. Sounds perfect.” 

“It’s a date then.” You winked at Stefan, making him fluster his words much like you before.

Before leaving the shop, you gave Stefan a small wave. He watched as you left, your luscious (h/c) hair bouncing on your shoulders. Stefan let out a big breath that he didn’t even know he held in.

Stefan then noticed he was still holding ‘The Bermuda Triangle’ album in his hands. After all that talking, he didn’t notice at all. Stefan smiled to himself.

He couldn’t wait for that date.

TAGGED:

@creativedogs

@sugarfloss

[kenzieam]

Surrender to the Call - Chapter Five (Bucky X Lev)

Rating: M (language, violence, mentions of torture and abuse, eventual smut, angst)

Genre: Drama/Angst

@captstefanbrandt @iammarylastar @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995 @notimetoblog @captain-ariel-barnes @jaamesbbarnes @lancefvcker @bitsandbobsandstuff @softlybarnes @lovelybbarnes @buckitybarnes @bucky-plums-barnes  @moonbeambucky @badassbaker @citylights221 @empress-of-boujee @tbetz0341 @chook007 @shynara51 @diinofayce @casestudy-mw  @jewels2876 @damnaged-princess @everythingisoverrated @allmyfanficfaves @melgoodwin @clarabella960 @curvybihufflepuff @plaidcat4815 @angryschnauzer @wowspideyholland @sergeantwhitewolf@smilexcaptainx  @shirukitsune

If I missed any tag requests, I apologize!!

*IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED OR DELETED FROM THIS LIST, DM ME*

**********************************************************************************

OMG. I haven’t updated this story since October! Shame on me. :( 

Well, anyway, I’m taking another stab at it, so I hope this chapter is worth your wait and, as always, thank you for reading!

**********************************************************************************

TRIGGER WARNINGS - ATTEMPTED SELF-HARM/SUICIDE- READ WITH CAUTION

“Bucky.” Her voice was stronger and her hands lifted weakly, brushing against his broad shoulders. Bucky wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close and she half-crumpled, half-snuggled against him, her body beginning to shudder. Bucky’s body trembled in answer and tears started to course down his cheeks.

“I missed you baby, so much.” He choked. His lips brushed her forehead, groaning at the sensation. Lev whimpered and clawed weakly closer, nuzzling into his throat. Bucky closed his eyes in bliss, a bone-deep peace coiling through him, fuck, he’d missed this, he’d missed her.

“Bucky, I...” Lev stuttered and Bucky felt her go rigid in his arms. “Oh god, Bucky. What have I done?”    

Bucky flinched, he would never have been ready to hear Lev ask that, and pressed his lips to her temple. “We’ll figure it out baby, please, just breathe, calm down. Breathe with me.”

Like Bucky, Lev suffered from nightmares because of her life in HYDRA’s hands. In the months after her first recovery, before she and Bucky became a couple, they had instead become the safe person the other went to when they woke shaking and sweating in the dark, the one who woke to the other’s screams and ran to comfort them. For a time, Lev’s nightmares had been night terrors, all-consuming horrors that tore her apart time and again.  

Every time, Bucky would be there. 

Sometimes, it would be enough if he sat on the edge of her bed, took her hand and spoke to her.  

‘You’re safe, I’m here.’  

Other times, however, Lev had been trapped too deep and beyond the simple sound of Bucky’s voice. During those spells he’d needed to crawl under the blankets with her, pull her tight to his chest and hold her close, murmur desperately into her ear until he broke through, stroke her cheek, curl his fingers gently through her hair, beg her to 'breathe with me, baby. In and out, in and out; breathe with me. You’re safe, I’m right here.’

Lev reacted instinctively, her body remembering the comfort of Bucky’s arms and she shuddered against him, struggling to align her breathing with his. Bucky fought down his own rising panic and just breathed, slowly, in and out, until Lev’s matched his.  

“You’re safe.” He whispered.  

“I’m a monster.” Lev replied bleakly; her voice hoarse.  

“Don’t. Not now. Just rest.”

Lev nodded faintly, seeming to melt against him and Bucky exhaled, expelling the remains of the dread that clawed at him at Lev’s first words, 'Oh God, Bucky. What have I done?’

T’Challa stepped closer, clearing his throat. “There are rooms for Levka, you can draw her a warm bath, there is a bed to sleep in.”

Bucky nodded. Lev needed pampering right now. In the time since her rescue, Levi’s muscular bulk had diminished considerably, no longer nurtured by steroids and chemicals; and she moved stiffly, shuffling at Bucky’s side. He hesitated, then reached down and swept her carefully into his arms; Levi tensed at first, then relaxed against him with a weary sigh. As they moved to the rooms T’Challa spoke of, Lev’s eyes stayed locked on Bucky’s and silent tears trailed down her face. Tentatively, Bucky leaned forwards and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead, fighting his own tears.

When they reached their designated quarters, those accompanying them scattered to various directions; one disappeared into the bathroom and began to draw a bath, while another pulled back the covers of the opulent bed. A third moved to close the curtains, but Bucky shook his head.  

Bucky carefully set Levi’s feet down and she slowly straightened, wincing. She glanced around the room disinterestedly, her face pale and eyes red-rimmed.  

As the others left, closing the door quietly behind them, Bucky cast about for something to say. What could you possibly say, at a time like this? Words were cheap; mere band-aids to cover the wound.

“Would you like a bath?”

Levi slowly focused on him, before dragging her gaze to the open bathroom door, where the sound of a water pouring sounded, and a faint citrus scent floated in the air.  

“C’mon, I’ll help you.” Bucky bit his lip, fighting a feeling of inadequacy. He felt like he was being fucking useless right now. His movements jerky, he reached out, gripping Levi’s hand, feeling rough callouses on her palm; when his other hand gripped her upper arm, all he felt was dread-hardened muscle, no feminine softness.  

Slowly, they shuffled into the bathroom. Levi’s sluggishness seemed partly due to the cryofreeze, and partly due to just plain being overwhelmed by her emotions and thoughts. She stood silently, unmoving, as Bucky gently stripped her clothes and guided her into the tub. Her face remained expressionless as the water enveloped her; the fresh scent of bath oils rising.  

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so inadequate. At least, when Levi had been missing, he’d had the distraction of worry and fear and anger; now, he was inches from the woman he loved to his own ruin, and he’d never felt so far away from her. He shifted uncomfortably; he was loath to leave her, but also didn’t want to overload her. He glanced over his shoulder to the room visible through the door. “I can leave if-”

Only now did Levi’s face twitch and her red-rimmed eyes snapped to his. Panic showed clearly in her tear-filled depths. “Please-” she broke off, swallowing hard. “Please don’t go.” I don’t want to be alone, alone with my thoughts, with the dark voices condemning my every breath; reminding me I have no right to draw it, no right to live when so many people are dead by my own hand.

Bucky hesitated, then sat gingerly on the edge of the tub.  

Levi reached for his hand, almost clamored for it, as if it was suddenly necessary for her to make it from this moment to the next. Bucky felt her hand tremble in his and he struggled to maintain his calm, reassuring demeanor.

“It’s alright, baby.” He murmured, then was ashamed at the lie. Levi didn’t need platitudes right now.  

Levi bit her lip and looked away. Although she didn’t say it out loud, her eyes spoke loud and clear. No, it’s not.

Bucky considered, then quietly stood and took a step sideways. Levi looked up at him in alarm, her fingers tightening on his almost painfully, but Bucky merely moved over enough to clear the edge, then sat carefully on the floor; he was now eye-level with Levi, his chin resting on the tub, rather than awkwardly looming over her. He squeezed her hand reassuringly and gave her a tentative smile.  

Levi relaxed slightly when she realized Bucky wasn’t leaving and exhaled shakily. After a moment, she tipped her head back and it knocked loudly against the basin. She winced but didn’t react beyond that, her eyes fluttering closed.  

His heart breaking, Bucky studied her. Her hair, shorn to the roots by HYDRA and showcasing fresh scars to her tender scalp, was beginning to grow out again, just enough so far that it no longer stood straight up, bending slightly under its own weight. Her hair had looked darker, but now her unique auburn shade was visible again, a shimmer of color Bucky had never seen on any other person before. Her skin was pale, once flawless, now marred by numerous small scars. Most would fade with time, but a few she would carry forever. Her cheekbones were sharp blades, her lips chapped and bitten and Bucky recognized with fresh anguish the telltale remnants of bruising from HYDRA’s memory suppressor; the remains of discoloration and swelling around her wrists from the restraints.  

He jolted physically as an echo of Levi’s agonized scream blasted through his mind, the helpless terror on her face in the footage he and Shuri had reluctantly reviewed and Levi startled beside him, the water splashing as she jerked to stare at him. Her eyes were huge, filled with a mix of terror and grim readiness. Her body was trained, primed to respond soundlessly and instantly to threats, but her heart and mind were no longer willing to inflict damage to others that way.

“I’m sorry, baby,” Bucky murmured. “Nothing here will hurt you.”

Levi nodded slowly, eyes flicking and assessing the room before she settled back, seeming to steel herself before she closed her eyes again. “I’m the one.” She mumbled miserably. “The one that hurts people, not the other way around.”

Levi stayed until the water cooled, until Bucky pulled her gently from the tub; now she sat hunched on the bed. She’d not dressed, although Bucky had laid out sweats and a shirt similar to what he was wearing, but Bucky’s usual, inherent response to her body was tempered by the cloud of misery hanging heavy around her. Although he craved her, her touch and her body, he would keep his distance until she closed it first. He wandered the main room aimlessly, having failed to get Levi to eat, before tentatively sitting on the other side of the bed.  

“Do you want to sleep?” He asked cautiously.  

Her legs were crossed, knees drawn up to her chest and arms wrapped tightly around them. She’d buried her face in her knees, her spine clearly showing, a bony ridge. Seated near her, Bucky could see the scars marred her once flawless back. She shivered when Bucky reached tentatively out and touched her, his fingers trailing down her back.  

“Please, baby. Just lay down and try to sleep; you’re exhausted.”

Nodding silently, Levi stiffly untangled her limbs and reclined back, rolling onto her side away from Bucky and curling into a fetal position. “Don’t go.” She whispered brokenly.

“Never.” Bucky promised.

Levi reached shakily behind her with one hand and he clasped it firmly. “Hold me... please?” Her voice cracked.

Wordlessly, Bucky lifted the covers and crawled under, tucking himself against Levi’s back. His arms wrapped carefully around her and he tentatively rested his head against hers. There was a time, not that long ago, where they could and did lay like this for hours, just enjoying the feel of the other pressed against them and Bucky’s heart ached remembering that bliss. Would they ever be like that again?  

“I’m right here,” he breathed. “I’m not leaving. I’ll never leave you.”  

Levi shuddered against him and began to cry.  

He held her silently, his own tears flowing, until she cried herself to sleep.

***************************************************************************************

Bucky jolted, instantly awake. What had woken him?

The bed in front of him was bare, and cold. Levi had not been beside him for some time. He sat up rapidly, disoriented, frantically scanning the room.

“Levi?!”  

His eyes landed on her form; hunched in an armchair, her back once again to him. She’d pulled on some clothes, the light pair of sweats and tank Bucky had laid out for her last night, but she didn’t respond to his call. She hardly seemed alive; cadaverously, frighteningly still.

“Levi?” Nerves tingling, Bucky crept from the bed. He tried to move quietly, slowly, so as not to startle her; but she could probably hear his heart hammering, his short, agitated breaths. “Baby?”

He reached her side and his stomach dropped through the floor. Levi was bowed forwards, cradling something.  

“Levi.” Bucky mumbled, trying to disguise the panic in his voice. He could see now what she held silently in her lap, what she stared at so avidly. A .45 caliber pistol, Bucky’s pistol, gleamed dully in her hands. Dammit, he’d forgotten to get rid of it, it was second nature for him to carry.  

“Levi?” Bucky’s voice sharpened, his heart beginning to pound. Levi was enhanced by the same serum as him, nearly invincible, but a well-placed shot with a high-caliber bullet would be fatal even to her. And if anyone knew effective head-shots, it was a trained HYDRA agent.  

“Levi, give me the gun.”  

Levi startled, as if suddenly realizing she actually held one and glanced up at him. Slowly, Bucky held out his hand.  

“Please, baby.” He swallowed hard. “Give me the gun.”

“I don’t want... I can’t-” Levi whispered, her voice beyond broken; a whole new plane of suffering.  

“Baby... Levka, please.” His pulse roared in his ears, his heart thundering with barely leashed panic. This was his worst nightmare. He swallowed hard, tasting copper in his mouth. “Please, baby.”

Levi shivered at his words, peering back up at him through dark-circled eyes; her iris's were bruise-colored shadows in an ashen face. She looked back down at the gun in her hand, stroked it almost lovingly. "I deserve to die.” She whispered, an affirmation, a declaration of simple fact.

Bucky held his breath, his nerves on a razor’s edge. The next few moments would dictate the rest of his life, whether it was spent in agony, or ecstasy.  

“No. You don’t. You deserve everything good..... please, don’t go. Don’t leave me like this. I need you.” Bucky whispered, his voice breaking. His hand, still outstretched, trembled.  

Levi exhaled, a deep, exhausted sound. She sounded like she was tired, of everything; tired of pain, tired of misery... tired of living. Her shoulders slumped and, while she didn’t hand it to him, her grip on the pistol loosened.

Bucky slowly reached for it, his body screaming to snatch it away, rip it away from her and throw it somewhere where she’d never find it again. He forced himself to move slowly and smoothly, non-threateningly. His hands closed over the gun and he pulled it back, exhaling shakily as he did. Levi stared downwards, fixated on her lap and made no move to snatch the pistol back.  

Bucky leaned back, focusing on the firearm. His stomach dropped for the second time in as many minutes. The pistol was cocked, the safety off. If Bucky hadn’t woken when he had, stopped Levi when he did....

He dropped the clip, tossing it to the side, then pulled the slide. One in the chamber....

Bucky tipped the bullet into his hand, tossed it the same direction as the clip, then threw the pistol the opposite direction; dimly he registered it crack against a far wall.

The full weight of what had just happened, what could have just happened hit Bucky like a sledgehammer and he collapsed forwards, his head landing in Levi’s lap, his arms wrapping around her waist. He buried his face against her stomach as the tears ripped through him, stealing his breath, absolutely consuming him. He’d never cried so hard, felt such desperation and pain and his mind, simply for survival from this moment to the next, clamped down on his speculative thoughts, the possibilities, the utter misery that would have waited for him, for the rest of his enhanced life, had Levi pulled the trigger.      

Gradually, he felt Levi relax against him, tip forwards to rest her head on his back, her arms returning the embrace and, for an eternity, they simply held each other. 

[emkayoh]

Spider-Man: Homecoming Fic Recs

Alright, I snapped y’all. I’m blown away by the quality of writing in this fandom and I want to share some of my absolute faves that I’ve found. Especially since I haven’t really seen any fic recs and these fics deserve to be spread like wildfire. So here are my top favorite reads, mostly Tony and Peter centered because of course. 

(Under the cut because this is looooooong):

How to Repair a Broken Heart by InfluentialPineapple (WIP)

Summary: The Mechanic has a lot on his plate; Thanos is coming, the Guardians of the Galaxy are marooned, Thaddeus Ross is reaching right down his throat, and a budding super hero deserves his full attention. He's also dying. No big deal. He can fix it. He can fix anything.

And he can do it all without even opening that stupid phone.

Now, where did those notes on Extremis go...?

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Mature

Notes: Holy shit, y’all. This is definitely my favorite fanfiction... ever. Out of everything I’ve ever read. It’s still a WIP so beware of that, but I am extremely confident in the author’s ability to finish it. And honestly, it’s well worth reading even if it isn’t finished. It has some of the most spot-on characterization, an amazing plot that rivals whatever Marvel cooks up for Infinity War, and glorious writing. 10/10 I am in the fandom for this fic specifically. (Warning: Violence, torture, lots of death.)

The Long Way Round by undeerqueen

Summary: Tony wants him to hold on. Peter just wants to go home.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: Okay, warning... this is a death fic. But it’s my favorite death fic ever written. It’s so beautifully written in a way that keeps you hanging on until the very end and leaves a hole in your heart that never goes away. If you’re like me and enjoy that kind of stuff, please, please, please for the love of god, read this fic. (Edit: This is a whole series now!!! Even more pain abounds.)

three words that became hard to say (i and love and you) by madasthesea

Summary: Tony likes giving gifts to prove his love, but they don't usually have four paws and a tail.

AKA: Tony, Peter, and a dog named Maggie learn how to be a family.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: I’m crying???? I’m usually not a fan of fics that kill off May so that Peter and Tony can be a family because she deserves better than that, but this fic is the ONLY exception. May isn’t cast aside as unimportant, Tony struggles to make Peter accept him as his new guardian, and there’s a dog! What could be better than that? (Edit: It’s a whole series now!! Tears from beginning to end.)

Everyone You’ve Ever Loved by JBS_Forever

Summary: “You will lose, Tony Stark,” the man says. “You have taken everything from me. Now I'm going to take everything from you.”

(Or: A masked-man threatens to destroy everyone Tony Stark has ever cared about. He starts by taking Peter.)

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: I honestly had a hard time picking out a JBS_Forever fic to include in this rec list, because everything they write is amazing and I recommend all of it, but this fic stands out. It’s a classic “Peter gets kidnapped and Tony has to save him” fic, which is a favorite trope of mine lol (are you noticing a pattern with the fics I tend to like?) It’s a oneshot but it’s MASSIVE and really realistically portrayed. I love how she writes Tony and Peter and I was holding my breath the whole time. 

Astronomy In Reverse by pansley (WIP)

Summary: A year after the Winter Soldier failed his mission in DC, Bucky Barnes is doing his best to stay under the radar from both Hydra and Steve Rogers. His hope for a peaceful day-to-day life in limbo goes awry, however, when he meets Queens’ newest hero; a pure-hearted kid with a death wish and a ridiculous pair of red and blue pajamas.

The last thing Steve expects when he finally tracks Bucky down is that, not only has the man been living in Queens all this time, right under his nose, but also that, in the two years since they last saw each other, Bucky somehow acquired a kid.

Alternatively: How Peter Parker effectively fucks over Bucky Barnes, and also totally saves him.

Relationship: Bucky and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: I guess I should mix things up a bit and rec one that isn’t a Tony and Peter fic! This one took me by surprise. I read it because I was intrigued by the relationship tag between Bucky and Peter and didn’t know how it would work. Spoiler: It works very well. It’s so different from a Tony fic but it’s so precious. Featuring foster kid/homeless Peter Parker. Also a WIP and only in the beginning stages but I sense a really interesting plot. (Warning for attempted sexual assault in one of the chapters! But it’s very, very brief. )

Weak Spot by grilledcheesing

Summary: Peter Parker has been sent back in time hundreds of times after their last face off with Thanos to do the one thing nobody else can: save Tony Stark.

Unfortunately, he has to find a way to kill his past self to do it.

And the last thing Tony is going to do is let him.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Back on my Tony and Peter bullshit. This author is a very prominent author in the fandom so I’m sure you’ve read at least one of their fics if you’ve read a lot of Homecoming fics, but this is my absolute favorite of theirs. It’s such an interesting (and heartbreaking) concept and it’s another one of those stories that leaves you feeling empty inside. Warning for more character death.

pretending by ace8013

Summary: Natasha reflects on what she noticed.

Relationship: All of the Avengers really, but come on I read it for the Tony and Peter

Rating: Not Rated

Notes: I’m honestly... flabbergasted that this fic has so few kudos. Pls go read it and give it more. It’s really short but so poignant and says so much with so little. I honestly love it so much. It’s in Natasha’s POV which is really interesting and the author really nails her personality. It’s absolutely soul-crushing and it will only take you like 2 minutes to read please just do it. (Warning for so much character death...)

Tony Built a Son by Footloose_Poets

Summary: Peter navigates learning to be human. Tony navigates fathering an android.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences/Teen

Notes: Ohmygosh... this one probably isn’t surprising considering the massive amounts of fanart I’ve drawn for it. The idea is so obvious yet so unique and satisfying to read. The author does an AMAZING job creating a realistic world where Tony builds an android son to keep his loneliness at bay and keeps both Tony and Peter so in character despite the vastly different circumstances from their movie counterparts. And it’s a whole series! Every new installment is a beautiful read, and the author even created a tumblr: @friendly-neighborhood-android to post mini ficlets, art, and factoids in the interim. 

5 Times Peter Thought Tony Was Mad by caraminha

Summary: ... and one time he actually was.

Set a few months after Aunt May's death where Tony is Peter's legal guardian. Navigating a new life together and settling into being father and son is a rollercoaster - falling in love with the kid? Easy. Dealing with a grieving teenager, and trying to figure out how to do this whole parent thing? Uh... not so easy.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Oh no more dead May. But I promise I only recommend these fics when they’re really well-written! And this is a REALLY good fic. I got so many feels reading this and domestic Tony and Peter really gives me life. Tony messes up a little but more than makes up for it, and then Peter messes up a lot but it’s okay because Tony loves him. It’s so adorable and heartwarming and I had the warm fuzzies the whole time.

Only Human by tonysta_k

Summary: When Flash takes things too far - pushes Peter too far by mentioning his fathers and what happened, Peter can't take it anymore.

Or, an au where after civil war, Steve was put in prison, Tony has a hard time facing his feelings, and Peter just wants to see his pops.

Relationship: Steve/Tony (Past), Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Damn. I don’t even ship Stony. I don’t like it, Steve has hurt Tony too much for me to ever see them as romantically involved, but if Stony just so happens to be in an intriguing Tony and Peter fic... fine, I’ll read it, so sue me. But wowowow did this fic hit me where it really hurts. It’s good because it acknowledges Steve and Tony’s failed relationship and puts Peter right in the middle of a REALLY nasty divorce. It’s really heart-breaking and realistic and claws at your emotions. 10/10 had to hug my parents right after reading. 

for good by Madelinedear

Summary: "Sorry, May, we can't all be best friends with a celebrity.”

May opens her mouth to retort reflexively, the words 'we aren’t even friends' on the tip of her tongue before she closes her mouth. Because they are friends, now. They’re way past that point.

Oh my god, she thinks somewhat hysterically. Tony Stark is my best friend.

(or; Tony Stark, May Parker, and the road to something like friendship)

Relationship: Tony and May

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: YES!!! YES!!! YEEESSSSS!!! Finally, the Tony and May fic I’ve been waiting for!!! To end this rec list on a fluffier note (because boy do I love angst, huh?) this fic is hilarious, heartwarming, and so in-character. It’s a really good study of how May and Tony’s relationship might evolve over time due to their mutual bonding over fiercely loving Peter. It’s everything I ever wanted in a May and Tony friendship fic and more. 

---

And these two are not necessarily Homecoming fics but I have to include them because they are on the list of my all time favorite Spider-Man fics: 

Weaver of Silk and Dreams by a_stands_for

Summary: Ben Parker sighed as he looked up into The Thing's eyes, so expressively human in spite of the rest of his rocky appearance.

“My fifteen-year-old nephew--who's practically my own little boy!--” he choked out with a tight voice, “h-he can't pass for human anymore. He's scared, and he's isolated, and he just needs someone else to talk to! Someone who can understand. Please."

_____

Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between.

Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for.

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (Peter Parker/Johnny Storm)

Rating: Mature

Notes: Okay so this is more based in the comic-verse, but I pictured Tom Holland Spidey while reading it anyways. I don’t even ship Spideypool tbh but I got curious. I didn’t even watch the Deadpool movie or know anything about Deadpool (or the Fantastic Four, who feature prominently in this) but still... it’s SO. GOOD. More spidery Spider-Man isn’t a thing I knew I needed until this fic, and it honestly reads almost like a fantasy. The world-building is incredible and the fic also comes with great drawings to help you visualize this strange new Peter. (Warning though: There are sex scenes. I was kinda hesitant about whether or not I should rec this because of that, but honestly the fic is worth it. I don’t usually like to read fics with sex scenes, but the plot more than makes up for it.)

I Like Birds by chinashopbull (WIP... possibly abandoned?)

Summary: Peter has Asperger’s/ASD. Yes, of course he’s still Spider-Man. Deadpool tries to accommodate, with mixed results.

Some feeble plot happens eventually, blood gets on the walls, etc. I play fast and loose with canon but try to stay true to (what I perceive to be) the spirit of the characters. 

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Rating: Mature

Notes: Okay, so this fic predates Homecoming so it’s definitely not about that Spidey (even though I picture Tom Holland anyways), the summary doesn’t do it justice, the way the fic portrays Tony Stark makes me sad, and it’s most likely abandoned because it hasn’t been updated since May 2017 (Edit: This totally updated after a whole year. It’s still going!!!)... but hear me out. This fic is worth the heartbreak of reading an abandoned fic. First of all: Autistic Peter!!!!! Written by someone who is autistic themselves so it’s very accurate!!!! I know I say this a lot but the plot is AMAZING. There’s an amazing side story about suicide bombers that’s really intriguing. I love the mystery element of this story so much, it reads as it’s own standalone work of fiction. Also, the slow burn is so slow that the Spideypool never happens, so if that’s not your thing, don’t let that stop you from reading this truly incredible fic. (Warning: A really, really graphic eye injury in one of the earlier chapters that’s pretty gruesome. )

---

IS THIS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU?? If you read any of these fics KUDOS AND COMMENT because the authors deserve your love! Feel free to send me any recs too! You know what I like. ;) 

[aingealcethlenn-archive]

Full Of Surprises

Characters - Sam, Dean, Reader

Pairing - Dean x Reader

Summary/Request - After watching Y/N take out a demon that had both brother’s pinned down, Dean realizes he needs to tell Y/N the truth about how he feels sooner, rather than later. Back at the Bunker, after going their separate ways to unwind, Dean finds Y/N’s guitar in the WAR room.

Word Count - 1473

Warnings - Minor Language, Fluff, maybe a tiny bit of Angst? (If you spot any other warnings I should add, please let me know so I can edit this post to include them!)

A/N - Based on Brett Young’s In Case You Didn’t Know

A/N 2 - SSOOOOOO...Yea...HI! Yes, I’m still alive. Yes, I am *hopefully* still writing. I apologize immensely for the LOOOOONG, unannounced hiatus. I had so much happening, the my brain just kinda..shut down. BUT, my goal for this new year is to take things slow, and work on me, and get to where I need to be. Thank you for your patience, and understanding, and I hope you’ll stick around!

Tags (Want on or off? Send a message/ask!) - PLEASE NOTE: I haven’t updated tag lists since, like, April of last year...SO, if you want off, just let me know!!! I promise, I won’t be upset :) @i-stare-sometimes @xfirespritex @big-to-beautiful @notnaturalanahi @thepalaceofmelanie @theimpossibleg1rl @lenaabs @jpadjackles @deathtonormalcy56 @impala-dreamer @jensen-jarpad

Story -

Sitting silently around the table, her mind was a mess. She almost lost the two people who meant more to her than anything else.

Sipping on her second glass of wine, her eyes glossed over. Not from the alcohol - it wasn’t enough to have an effect on her - but rather just from the images flashing in her head.

The sight of the boys, flat on their backs. The meat suit that the demon was using, holding her boys in place.

The consequences of what might happen if she failed, never crossed her mind. Her only thought, was saving Sam and Dean. Screw what might happen to her. The world needed the Winchesters, not some nobody-hunter side-character.

Sliding the empty glass away, she walked over to Sam and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. His eyes widening slightly at the unfamiliar act from her, but he subconsciously understood. He laid his hand upon her own and squeezed it briefly.

Making her way to Dean, she cupped his face gently, and placed a soft, quick-yet-lingering, desperate kiss on his lips. Her lips were gone before he could even register what she had done.

No words were ever exchanged.

Y/N made her way to her room, leaving the door cracked open so that they could check on her if they wanted. Subconsciously, maybe she wanted them too.

Sam sat still, his thoughts heavy as he thought of Y/N, and what she must have felt throughout the hunt… Before long, he made his way to the library to relax.

Dean grabbed the bottle of Jack from in front of him, and walked to the WAR room to sit in silence.

Each off on their own. Each processing the events that unfolded that day, in their own personal way.

Why can’t I just be man enough to tell her the damn truth? I fight monsters for god sake! But I can’t find the damn courage to tell Y/N I love her? What the hell is wrong with me?!

Sitting, elbows propped up on the table, with his head in his hands, he was a mess.

The feeling of her lips on his - still lingered. The feeling of her hands on his jaw; the warmth he felt throughout his whole body - still lingered.

He’d repeated the words he wanted to tell her, over and over in his head. Hell, he’d even written them down. Something inside of him just continued to stop him from saying them out-loud.

Lifting his head from his hands finally, he took the bottle and placed it to his lips, taking a swig before lowering it to the table again with a soft thunk. That was when his eyes spotted her guitar sitting on the table before him.

Picking it up, and holding it gently across his lap, he ran his fingers over the strings.It had been so long since he had held one, but he could feel the knowledge of how to play, coming back to him in an instant. Just like riding a bike.

He started to slowly play a tune. Nothing he had heard before, but rather just putting chords together. Playing what felt like the right thing to play.

Sam heard the music from the next room. Curiosity took its toll and, setting his book aside, he slowly walked toward the sound. Leaning against the wall, he watched silently as his brother strummed away.

“I can’t count the times, I almost said what’s on my miiiind. But I didn’t.” Dean began to sing.

If he couldn’t tell her the truth, he was at least going to get the words out to the empty room.

“Just the other day… I wrote down all the things I’d sayyy... But I couldn’t - I just couldn’t...”

Sam listened to his brother’s voice with an intrigued mix of awe and amusement.

“Baby, I knoow that you’ve been wonderin... Mmm, so here goes nothin...”

Sam’s foot twitched - he was tempted to go find Y/N so she would hear the words he knew Dean had longed to tell her… but instead he just stood there.

“In case you didn’t knoow… Baby, I’m crazy about ya... And I would be lyin if I said, that I could live this liife without you... Even though I don’t tell you all the time... You had my heart a long long tiiime ago... In case you didn’t know.”

Y/N stopped abruptly from the notebook in her lap and looked in the direction of the sound she knew fondly. Her guitar.

But who’s playing? I thought I was the only one who knew how?

Getting off her bed, she slowly followed the sound of the soft strums of her well-worn guitar. She could hear the faint sounds of a voice.

“The way you look tonight? That second glass of wiiine? That did it, mmm...”

Sam looked away from his brother, noticing a confused Y/N as she made her way down the hall. All he could do was smirk.

“There was somethin about that kiss… Giiirrl it did me iiin... Got me thinkin. I’m thinkin...”

With Sam standing in front of her, it was clear he wasn’t the source of the music. That left only one person.

Is he singing about… me?

As she got closer, she could make out every word he was singing.

“All of the things that I’ve been feelin... Mmm, it’s time you hear ‘em. In case you didn’t knoow... Baby, I’m crazy bout ya...”

Sam reached out to her, and pulled her into his side in a brotherly, one-armed embrace. Whispering into her ear so Dean wouldn’t hear them, he said, “He’s singing to you, ya know.”

“But why?” she whispered back, her brows furrowed.

“Just...listen.” Sam minutely rubbed her arm and nodded toward Dean.

“And I would be lyin if I said that I could live this liife without ya... Even though, I don’t tell you all the tiime... You haad my heart a long long time ago... In case you didn’t knooooow.”

She looked up at Sam, her jaw dropped, but Sam was just smiling.

“You’ve got all of me... I beloong to you... Yeah, you’re my everything...”

Sam released his grip on her, and made his way back to his seat in the library. This time, purposely walking as noisily as he could.

The sound of Sam walking away caused Dean to look up. Still strumming away, he spotted Y/N standing in the doorway, still in her awe.

Her eyes were soft, and a small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. He didn’t know how long she’d been standing there, but despite the knee-jerk reaction to stop and chuck the guitar away from himself… he knew he couldn't stop now.

His eyes never left her’s. She kept her’s locked on him as she started walking closer.

“In case you didn’t know, I’m crazy ‘bout ya... I would be lyin’ if I said that I could live this liiife without youu... Even though… I don’t tell you all the time, you had my heart a long long time ago. Yeaaah, you had my heart a long long tiime agooo... Mmm... In case you didn’t know... No, no. In case you didn’t knoooow...”

Slowly, his fingers left the strings of the guitar, and he set the instrument back on the table. Turning the chair to face Y/N, Dean reached out and took a firm yet gentle grip of her hands, pulling her to stand between his legs.

“I didn’t know you could do that?” she said, her voice soft and quiet.

“I’m full of surprises Y/N,” he murmured with his usual debonair small smirk.

“Is it all true? Do you really mean all that you said?”

The smirk became more genuine.

“Of course I did, sweetheart. I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.”

“I don’t want to live this crazy… messed up life we live without you either, Dean.” She cupped his face in her hands and leaned down.

This time, Dean was ready. He returned the kiss immediately.

It was full of desire, that had been held in for so long. Full of both love and desperation.

When they finally separated to catch their breath, Dean stood from his chair. Grabbing Y/N near the tops of her thighs, he lifted her into his arms. Wrapping her legs around his waist, they made their way toward the bedrooms.

Sam’s voice rang out from the other room as Dean walked down the hall.

“I’m happy for you two, and all... But keep it to the bedroom, will ya? Other people live here, and I’d rather not see you two loving each other on the tables and couches.”

“I make no promises, Sammy!” Dean hollered back as he kicked his door closed.

[spnrelatedurl]

Stay Beautiful - Chapter 1

A/N: I’m doing a complete re-do of Stay Beautiful. I’ll keep the original first chapter up, but I won’t be updating that anymore. Sorry. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. It’s a little bit different, but still a Jared daughter story. It’s based heavily on a book I once read titled ‘Girl, Missing’ which you should check out if you can. Anyways, as I said, ENJOY!! :D

Trigger Warnings: Kidnap, missing child, fake adoption (if that’s one)

Word count: 2080

Tag List:  @winchesters-favorite-girl @winchester-writes @storyofawinchester @rosie-winchester @bea789 @straightasdeanwinchester (More room for anyone who wants to be added.)

Who Am I?

I stared at the cursor blinking on the screen as I thought of the answer to the very same question that’s haunted me since I first started gaining self-awareness. If this were a few years ago, I’d be able to answer this in no time at all. It was all so simple back then. My name’s Kendra Ryan Wood. I have brown hair, green eyes, and I am tall for my age. Like, no joke. That’s actually what I wrote in the first class of year 4. That was ages ago. But now they don’t care about any of that. They want to know who you are when you’re angry, or sad, or happy, or excited. They want to know who you are inside.

I was feeling quite burnt out at the moment to be honest. I needed a break. I decided to text my best friend, Morgan.

How are you doing with the stupid Who Am I thing – Kendra

We regret to inform you that Morgana ‘Morgan’ Caldwell died from boredom whilst attempting her homework last night – Morgan

I’ve got to hand it to her, Morgan never fails to crack me up when I’m at my lowest. We’ve been friends since primary school.

Who Am I?

I groaned and rested my head in my hand. For these stupid essays, you have to know where you come from. And I have no idea where I come from. I was adopted as a baby.

A minute later, mum was calling me from downstairs.

“Kendra, dinner’s ready.”

“Coming!”

I rushed downstairs, glad to get away from the stupid essay. And it really was a stupid essay. It was my last year of school. How did they not know who I was already?

I sat down at the table ready for dinner, kind of nervous about what I was going to ask. Mum came in, skinny and thin lipped as usual. I looked the complete opposite of her. She started ladling up the soup, and fair to say I wasn’t all too hungry. Not only was I nervous, but mum’s not exactly a tungsten chef and she knows it.

“How’s the homework going?” She asked, putting some soup in my dad’s bowl.

“Mmmn.” I mumbled.

“For gods’ sake, Kendra. Why can’t you speak properly?” She asked, setting her own meal on the table. I inhaled, gathering up the courage to ask her. Very clearly, and very slowly, I began to speak.

“Who’s my real mother?” I asked.

She froze for a second, seemingly terrified. Then she turned into stone. No movement. No emotion.

“I am, silly.” She said. “What do you mean?”

I looked away.

“Nothing. Forget I said anything.” I said, even though I knew she wouldn’t.

“I thought you didn’t care about knowing?”

“I don’t.”

“And anyway, I couldn’t tell you even if I wanted to. It was a closed adoption which means…”

“…which means neither side knows about the other. I know.” I said. My dad came in towards the end of the conversation. He looked somewhat worried.

“Is someone saying things at school?” He asked.

“No.”

Trust my parents to think someone else was putting ideas in my head. God forbid I should think for myself. Just then, my younger brother ran in. He is incredibly immature. Like, annoyingly so.

“Mum, what’s for dinner?” Jack asked. Jack’s thirteen and the spitting-image of my dad, and my mum calls him her little test-tube miracle. If we ever needed living proof we shouldn’t play god, he would be it. “Oh god. This soup stinks!”

“Not as much as you.”

He then hit me with his spoon.

“Mum, Jack’s hitting me again!”

Mum glared at us both, but I could tell she was favouring Jack even though she knows he was in the wrong. Could it be bias? That I’m not her real child? Or maybe it’s sexism. She always says boys are easier to look after than girls. So why get me, a girl, in the first place?

She used to say things that made me feel special. Like her and dad picked me out of every child in the world, which is a) completely false because some kids don’t need adopting, and b) kind of insulting to all the other kids. But now it makes me feel like I was a load of hassle and I wasn’t worth it. They should’ve picked someone else, honestly.

“This soup looks like Kendra threw up.” He said. I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I really, really hate him.

A while later I went back upstairs and got back to staring at my homework. Ugh.

Who Am I?

I typed adopted and lost in the search engine. I’d been thinking about this so much recently. Hell, if you saw me a week ago you’d probably crack up with laughter. I was so nervous, but what was I even expecting? A website by the name of kendrathisisalltheinformationaboutyouradoption.com? That would be even more ridiculous. Still, I hit search.

I flicked through page after page of hopeful stories. Rather boring and unrealistic to me in all honesty. I was ready to close the page until I found a site for missing children.

How does someone lose a child? I can understand losing them for five minutes or so, maybe even an hour then you find them hiding in the kitchen cupboard covered in flour. And also psychos kidnapping or murdering kids, but you only hear about that once or twice a year. Still, out of curiosity I clicked on the link.

I was astounded. There were so many faces. Did all of these belong to missing children? I didn’t even know what I was doing, just mucking about. But I decided to search my name. Kendra.

3 results.

One was a black 5-year-old that went missing two years ago.

Another was a white blonde toddler that went missing 5 months ago.

And then there was another one.

Chloe Kendra Padalecki

Case type: Lost, Missing

Date of birth: 31st August 1999

Age now: 18

Birth place: San Antonio, Texas, USA

Hair: Brown Eyes: Green

 The only picture was of a baby girl wrapped in a blanket in the hospital just after she was born. That’s it – because she was snatched at the hospital. Or at least that’s what everyone assumes. It was my birthday though. Exactly. And the same date I was adopted. But it was impossible. I’m British. This baby was born in America. That couldn’t be me, surely.

There was a knock at my door so I locked the computer.

“Yeah?” I asked, my heart still seemingly beating in my throat.

“It’s Morgan.” She said, coming in. I leaped off my bed, practically pulled her inside and closed my door.

“Okay, when I tell you what I’m about to tell you please don’t freak out. I mean, it’s probably nothing anyway, I just don’t want you to tell me to beam back to whatever bizarro planet I came from.” I told her.

“Oh my god! Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant!” She exclaimed.

“What? No. How would that even be possible?” I asked. She shrugged. “Look, you know how I’m adopted and everything?” I asked.

“How could I ever forget? That’s all you’ve been going on about for the past month.”

“Shut up! It’s not. Really, it’s not. It’s just. Well I was getting carried away with this stupid essay and I came across this stupid website with this stupid information about some stupid missing baby…” I began.

“Please stop saying stupid?”

“Right. Anyway, I found this;” I typed in my password and the website came up again, good as new.

She looked at the picture for a bit and studied the information.

“You don’t think that’s you, do you?” She asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Oh my god. You do, don’t you?”

“A little bit.” I confessed.

“Plus, have you ever watched Supernatural?” She asked. I rolled my eyes at her.

“Of course I have. It’s my favourite show in the whole world. You know that.” I said.

“Then you’d know Jared’s last name is…”

“Padalecki, I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s his. Could be his brother, a cousin, maybe even a completely unrelated family.”

“Yes, because Padalecki is a very common name in Texas.” She sarcastically said. “That being said, I mean… who else could it be? She does have your eyes. And remember when we were going through your family photo album a few months ago?”

“Oh god!” I groaned.

“Do you wanna call the number?” She asked.

“What, are you crazy? Of course not.” I answered, snatching the laptop back from her. She just shrugged.

“Just as well.” She said, flopping down on my bed.

“What do you mean?” I asked, getting really freaked out right now.

“Look, she’s kidnapped.”

“Yeah… and?”

“Well,” Morgan hesitated. “if that Chloe Kendra girl really is you, and I’m not saying she is – but if she is, how do you think all this happened?” She asked.

“Huh?” I asked, confused as always.

“I mean, how did baby you get from Texas to London straight away?”

I shook my head. This was all far too much. I could hardly stand it. Besides, trust Morgan to think of all the practical and logical questions. It didn’t ever cross my mind that there was a possibility I could be a completely different person.

“Think about it, Ken.” She smiled weakly. “Kids don’t just disappear without a reason. If this is you, you must’ve been taken deliberately.”

I shook my head again.

“What’s that got to do with my mum and dad?” I asked, dreading her answer.

“If you were taken, we have to consider the possibility that your parents were somehow involved.” She answered.

No. No. there’s no way. Not my mum and dad. And yet, what other explanation was there?

A week went past with the idea implanted in my brain. It’s not like I thought it was possible, but still. Once an idea is in your head, it gets stuck there. You can’t un-think it. It was another usual week besides that day, and I didn’t think anything could come of it to be honest.

It was later at night, which meant I was doing more homework on the sofa in the living room as my dad read the paper, sitting on his armchair. It was Jack’s bedtime, and as per usual, he came downstairs asking for a snack.

“Okay, fine. Here’s an apple my sweet, I can’t let you go to bed hungry. Now go.” She shushed him out the door. Trust my mum to give special treatment to Jack. Mum went back to the kitchen and dad looked like he was desperately trying to figure out how to say something. But what could it be?

“Listen, I know how you’ve been asking about your adoption recently – and I feel as though if you’re old enough to ask…” He began. But then mum came in, knowing what dad was talking about just by looking at him.

“Old enough to ask what?” She asked. My dad froze, shook his head, grumbled, and then went back to reading his paper as if nothing happened. Mum sighed and put her left hand on her hip. “Dave, we’ve talked about this.” She said with an angry tone.

“Oh, nice to know you guys have been talking about me behind my back.” I said sarcastically. Alright, it was somewhat childish, but I’m kind of fed up of being the only person unaware of my past.

“It’s not like that, Kendra.” Mum sighed.

“Yes, it is. I’m so sick of not even being part of the family I’ve always supposed to have been part of.” I yelled before storming upstairs.

I slammed my door from the outside – a little trick I learned when I was younger – so I could eavesdrop on what they were going to argue about.

“Why did you bring that up?” Mum screamed.

“She’s 18 for Christ sake. If not now, when should we tell her? We said at 16, then 18, but you decided against it.” Dad argued. He then mumbled something completely incoherent.

“I know. Just not now okay? Maybe next birthday.” Mum suggested.

How could they tell me something about my closed adoption? Clearly it’s not as closed as they’re letting on. So what is it they’re not telling me? Could I really be Chloe Kendra Padalecki?