#warfpat

[running-on-a-broken-record]

Made this way before Ness was introduced to the list of egos… thought I’d share

[insane4fandoms]

Here are some doodles of all of the matpat egos, from canonical egos to fanmade ones by me and the lovely @wouldntyou-liketoknow and one doodle of Steph and Matt because they’re my bio parents /J

Matpat is brainwashing me to make more content, the parasites are calling me @crazy-obsessed-enby

I am frothing at the mouth as the brain rot is going insane

[b-is-in-the-closet]

Low key want to write for MatPat egos again

If anyone has any ideas or characters feel free to give them to me,

The “MatPat Cinematic Universe” characters/egos I know are:

Mack

Crewmate!Mack (I call him Wynn)

Dictator!Mack (I call him Richard)

Mad

DarkPat

WarfPat

Matty Patty

Jonathan Harker

Caliban (fan made ego by @wouldntyou-liketoknow )

BendyPat

The Hermit

The Detective

Patty (fan made ego by @wouldntyou-liketoknow )

Ness

And there’s also a few that I kind of know of, but that’s about it

AntiMatter

Dr Matt

Actor Mat

Dominic (Damien?? But MatPat? I think?)

Professor Patrick

Matthais Patthias

Also, for Mack: I have like a bajillion AUs and variants. I can talk about them if people want!

[shabeeboothedrawingender]

EGOTOBER DAY 6 - BUBBLES

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

My EgoPats Meeting the Canon EgoPats (Brought To You by Incorrect Quotes)

Yep, I finally decided that this post deserved to be expanded on. So, to absolutely no-one's surprise, I gave it the ol' college try with memes.

___

[Caliban has just returned from visiting Theory Manor. He’s now ranting to Murdock about WarfPat]

Caliban: Listen to what one of my STUPID doppelgängers did! Caliban: Apparently one of his “guests” ended up dying in his studio, and he offered the body to me. And since we’ve been in-between jobs lately, I was like, “Sure, why not?” Caliban: So, I cooked the best parts, then I went to town. . .and every two minutes, he added salt. Caliban: And it was weird. It almost tasted like sweet potato. Caliban: I asked, “Did this guy eat a lot of candy before he died? Or was he on drugs?” Caliban: And Warf said, “Noooo.” Caliban: Every two minutes, he added salt, salt, sALT, SALT! It was like he wanted to poison me! Caliban: And when I finished eating, he asked, “How did you like the human flesh wiTH SUGAR?” Caliban: . . .HE USED SUGAR INSTEAD OF SALT! Caliban: *starts shaking Murdock by the lapels of his overcoat* SUGAAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!

___

[The EgoPats are using an Ouija board] The Detective: Tell us. . .is there an otherworldly creature in this house or on its grounds? LeviathanPat: *is right outside the nearest window, but has decided to use his powers to speak through the board before he actually starts talking* ¥ê§. MadPat: Great! Rent is due on the first of the month. WarfPat: Oh, and movie night is on Friday if you want to hang out. LeviathanPat: *genuinely caught off-guard* . . .Wåï†, WHĆ—?!

___

Mack: So, for that party I told the guys about. . .do you, uh. . . Patty/DancePat: Oh, are you not sure how to dress for it? Mack: *panicked* WHAT IS CLOTHES???

___

[Caliban and The Hermit’s first meeting is going pretty well.]

The Hermit: —and then I said, “I didn’t realize that I would be having some guests. . .for dinner!” Caliban: *laughs* Ah, that’s a classic! Mack: *watching from a distance and ranting to The Detective* —no nO NO, we are NOT dealing with TWO OF THEM!

___

WarfPat: Hey, new guy! Trick or ye— LeviathanPat: *conjures an Uno Reserve card* ñÖ

___

The Detective: If I have to clean one more bloodstain from this carpet, I’m going to murder someone. Caliban: Sounds a little counterproductive.

___

The Detective: I'm not doing too well. Penn/Pennsylvania: What's wrong? The Detective: I have this headache that comes and goes. [LeviathanPat manifests outside the nearest window] The Detective: And there it is again.

___

The Hermit: What is toothpaste if not bone soap? Caliban: . . .You are a complete and total treasure. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: We call that a traumatic experience. Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Detective* Not a “bruh moment” Penn/Pennsylvania: *turning to The Hermit* Not “sadge” Pennsylvania: *turning to MadPat* And DEFINITELY not “oof lmao”

___

Mack: *scoffs* Clearly, you don’t own an air fryer. Clearly. Caliban: *chuckles dryly* I’m not gonna be talked down to by some arrogant, condescending, delusions-of-grandeur-prone SIDE-DISH. Caliban: If you want to insult me, go right ahead. But you have no idea how brutal that’s gonna get. You don’t even know my name! Caliban: *steps closer to Mack, almost getting in his face* I ' m t h e c o m b i n a t i o n o f y o u a n d a c r a z y i s l a n d h e r m i t f r o m a d i f f e r e n t t i m e l i n e .

___

The Detective: Define “dream”. LeviathanPat: Ðrêåm—†hê £ïr§† †hïñg þêðþlê åßåñÐðñ whêñ †hê¥ lêårñ hðw †hê wðrlÐ wðrk§. The Hermit: Oh, c’mon! That’s just too dark!

___

Ness: Do you support LGBTQIA+ rights? Patty/DancePat: . . .I’m literally a girlypop and exotic dancer?? WarfPat: He’s avoiding the question!

___

MadPat: Gatekeep, girlboss, and. . .what's the other one again? LeviathanPat: †hêrê ï§ñ'† åñð†hêr ðñê. ¥ðµ'rê ¢råz¥.

___

Caliban: He doesn’t deserve you! If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone! Ness: *taking a deep breath* I’m gone. Caliban: *nodding and grinning* Now gO CHOP HIS DICK OFF—

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I can’t tell if you’re a genius or just incredibly arrogant. Mack: Well, on a good day, I’m both.

___

[The EgoPats are discussing a plan. Ozzie has taken his turn to speak, standing with a whiteboard at the head of the room] Ozzie: Anyone have any questions? Ness: Is this legal? Ozzie: . . .Anyone have any relevant questions?

___

The Detective: Are you seriously making human-bacon for breakfast?! Caliban: *looking away from the bacon-filled frying pan he’s using* Yeah. What’d you have for breakfast? The Detective: . . .Nothing. Caliban: *shrugs, returning his focus to the frying pan* I’m doing better than you, man.

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: What’s up with you? Mack: What do you mean? Penn/Pennsylvania: You’ve been nice and helpful and considerate all day. What’s your game?

___

[The Detective recently griped to Caliban about a recent case. Now Caliban is trying to convince The Detective to do something highly unconventional to make progress with said case.l]

Caliban: DO IT! The Detective: NOOOOO! GOD, PLEASE NO! Caliban: MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! The Detective: NO! Caliban: JUST— The Detective: NO! Caliban: — D O I T ! The Detective: N O O O O O O O ! ! !

___

Patty/DancePat: I can't believe you've done this. . . Ness: I'm sorry, I didn't know—! Patty/DancePat: *on the verge of tears* YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN I HAVE NOTHING PREPARED FOR YOU IN RETURN! NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE JERK!

___

The Hermit: Onion rings are vegetable donuts. Mack: Sure. . . The Hermit: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed. Mack: Okay? The Hermit: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake. Mack: . . . The Hermit: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio— Mack: Jesus, that one is a little— Caliban: *was just passing through but is now interested* No, no. Let him continue

___

[A plan involving paranormal investigation has gone terribly wrong, and The Detective is almost out of options]

The Detective: *begrudgingly holding a dark ritual* If you are here, speak to us! LeviathanPat: *slowly manifests outside the window. . .and starts singing “Don’t Stop Believin’.” With each lyric, his voice shifts in a very disturbing way* JÚ§† Ä Ç̆-Ä¥ ßÖ¥! The Detective: *grinds his jaw, having even more regrets than before* LeviathanPat: ßÖRñ ÄñÐ RÄ̧ÈÐ Ìñ §ÖÚ†H—!

___

WarfPat: What kinds of sounds annoy you? Ozzie: Are we talkin’ real sounds or imaginary ones? WarfPat: *now interested* Lets say imaginary. Ozzie: Spiders wearin’ flip flops.

___

[MadPat is trying to talk killer-to-killer with Caliban. So far, he’s only succeeded in annoying Caliban]

MadPat: Every time I go out there, I feel like I do my best and they don’t! Caliban: *has heard all about how sloppy Mad’s methods are, how much evidence Mad always seems to leave behind, as well as how Mad trapped himself in a fire only to get caught by the police* Let me ask you a very fair question—What do you do successfully? MadPat: . . . Caliban: *raising an eyebrow* QUICKLY. MadPat: *scowls and storms off*

___

The Detective: You need a hobby. LeviathanPat: Ì ålrêåÐ¥ håvê å hðßߥ! The Detective: Terrorizing people is nOT A HOBBY!

___

Ness: Ducks are better than rabbits. Penn/Pennsylvania: What? Rabbits are adorable. Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks. WarfPat: Duck is delicious! Rabbit is all gamey. Ness: We’re not talking about flavor, Warf! WarfPat: Flavor counts! The Detective: Who carries around a duck’s foot for good luck? Anyone? Mack: You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I’ll wrap myself in a comforter stuffed with duck feathers. Who’s cozier? Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, but— Mack: NO, NO, NO, NO. WHO’S COZIER? MadPat: Why don’t we just take a rabbit and a duck, stick ‘em in a cardboard box and let them fight it out? Penn/Pennsylvania: BECAUSE THAT’S ILLEGAL! MadPat: ONLY IF WE BET ON IT! Caliban: *sitting in the adjacent room, listening in on the debate. He’s not sure if Snare could get roped into it, because Snare is a hare and not a rabbit, but he’s still holding him protectively* . . .

___

Ness: *calling up the stairs from the kitchen* I made lightly-fried fish fillets for dinner! The Detective: . . .Ness, it’s one-fifteen AM. What the hell? Ness: Do you guys want the lightly-fried fish fillets or not? Ozzie: *pokes his head out of one of the guest rooms* Well, I mean, yeah. Ness: So come downstairs before they get cold. Penn/Pennsylvania: *comes out of another guest room* Wait, you just made them? Ness: Yeah, I wasn’t tired, so I decided to make lightly-fried fish fillets. LeviathanPat: *has been watching/listening to all of this through the kitchen window* §å¥ "lïgh†l¥-£rïêÐ £ï§h £ïllꆧ" ðñê mðrê †ïmê.

___

Patty/DancePat: When you’re shopping at Lush and another customer comes in and bites one of the soap options because they think it’s cheese. . .I talked to one of the employees about it, and apparently this sort of thing happens way more frequently than you’d think. Mack: Well, if Lush stopped literally presenting soap as deli food, then this wouldn't happen so frequently. Patty/DancePat: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese??? The Detective: . . .Who goes to the deli section of a store and just takes a bite out of the cheese?!

___

[MadPat keeps trying to antagonize Caliban, as if THAT will somehow change Caliban’s opinion of him]

MadPat: *pacing the floor in front of Caliban* And I’m not gonna conversate with you! I’m not gonna invest time in— Caliban: *organizing some Black Market stuff on his laptop, not paying Mad too much attention* I think it’s “converse.” MadPat: . . .Huh? Caliban: *rolling his eyes* Just say “talk.”

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: I haven't slept in seventy-three hours. Ozzie: Eighty. Democratically elected leader of insomnia over here. MadPat: Bitch, it's been ninety for me. I'm going for an even one hundred. Ness: . . .You guys can be terrifying sometimes.

___

The Detective: Oh, you’re back from that outing. What’d you think of that Patty guy? Ness: I can’t remember how we got on the topic of beaches, but he referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter." The Detective: . . . Ness: I don't know how someone so awesome can be so anxious all the time!

___

Mack: You’re making fun of me now, aren’t you? Ozzie: What? Oh, no-no-no, Mack. I’d never—*suddenly points past Mack* MACK LOOK IT’S CALIBAN! Mack: *turns around in a panic* WHERE?! [As it turns out, Caliban is, in fact, nowhere to be seen] Mack: *blinks, pretty much frozen in place* Ozzie: *falls to the floor, laughing hysterically*

___

The Hermit: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth. Penn/Pennsylvania: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.

___

Patty/DancePat: Yeah, so, my latest shift at the club was a little rough. Heh. . . Ness: *concerned* Why are you looking up? Patty/DancePat: I need to CRY, but my foundation cost FORTY-EIGHT DOLLARS.

___

The Hermit: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder? Ness: Well. . .I mean, it’s frowned upon. Caliban: Yeah, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier? The Hermit: *nodding along* That’s okay, right?

___

LeviathanPat: ¥ðµ kñðw whå† Ì’vê rêålïzêÐ? The Detective: Some thoughts are better left unsaid? LeviathanPat: ñï¢ê †r¥, åñ¥w套

___

Ness: So they were just using me? Penn/Pennsylvania: I’m sorry, Ness. Mack: *trying to contain his amusement* You must feel pretty stupid right now. Ness: . . . Penn/Pennsylvania: Okay, that’s a time-out. Mack: No, I was just trying to— Caliban: *using his meat cleaver to gesture to the corner of the room* Go sit over there! Mack: *walks away in defeat*

___

Mack: *entering the room, unable to see what's going on just yet* I’m going to dunk on you— Patty/DancePat: *is wearing heels AND is currently practicing some new pole-dancing moves* You’d better bring a ladder, then.

___

The Detective: *exhausted from supernatural shenanigans* Please, God, just let me have one peaceful day?! LeviathanPat: Öh m¥ GðÐ, ¥ðµ ågåïñ? Gïvê ï† å r꧆, ßµÐÐ¥! The Detective: I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU!

___

Penn/Pennsylvania: A riddle for you, my friend! So it’s raining, right? And you pass a bus stop. There are three people there—your most trustworthy friend, a pregnant lady who needs to go to the hospital, and the person of your dreams. However, your smart car only fits two people. What do you do? Ness: Oh, I’ve heard this one before! You lend the car to your friend so they can take the pregnant lady to the hospital, and then you stay at the bus stop with your dream person! Penn/Pennsylvania: Oh, so close, but wrong. The correct answer is as follows—you go home and reEVALUATE YOUR DAMN LIFE! Penn/Pennsylvania: *grabs Ness by the collar and starts playfully shaking him* YOU! BOUGHT! A! SMART! CAR!

___

[Caliban leads Mack over to a closet]

Mack: *walks into the closet* Um. . .what’s in here? Caliban: Oh, it’s just—*turns the room’s light off and grabs the door handle* —YOUR DEMISE. Mack: AHHHHH—! Caliban: *slams the door and locks it*

___

@sammys-magical-au @insane4fandoms @b-is-in-the-closet

[speedystarshine]

Can you please write head canons about Matpat egos with a Reader who sleeps a lot, and when I mean a lot I mean like lot!

Who would be The one who Hold the reader while they sleep, Or be a little shit and Play loud music to annoy them

You don’t have to write it but I would appreciate it if you do! Have great day/night <3

Ofc!! Here you go! (Lmao I took out Mack because I realized poor guy would basically be doing your job- that would be kinda funny tho like imagine going to sleep on the ship beside him and waking up to entire colonization and you're in a cage 💀)

Characters: Matpat, Madpat, The Detective, The Hermit, Warfpat.

Matpat

Kinda sad he can't really hang out with you that much when you're asleep, so he definitely makes moments counts when you wake up!

One of the one's to hold reader while you're asleep. Y'know that universal feeling where you have a cat on you and won't move even if it hurts because there's a cat on you- Very much like that.

He takes pictures, beware because he has blackmail on you lmao-

Honestly sometimes he uses you as a mini table and just edits and even sometimes record whole-ass videos on top of you 😭

Madpat

Another ones to hold you, but like.... stiff.

He doesn't move the entire time. Bro is sat snkadfkj

Sometimes if he has stuff to do (Read: people to murder) he just kinda flings you on his back and goes off to do whatever

Eventually puts you in a bed because he feels bad, especially if he finds you asleep like on top of the fridge or some random shit 😭

Listen to me he had to sleep on a desk chair for five miserable nights he knows damn well you're gonna be sore when you wake up 💀

The Detective

Honestly how he would react depends on whether your on the team or part of the place but would still kinda be the same

If you're a part of wherever the team is he's kinda sad he doesn't get to see you that much-

If you're on the team though, he is desperately trying to fight so you don't get voted out snjasj-

He is weak as hell. Mans isn't strong enough to carry you every where so most of the time makes sure you fall asleep in the safe spot.

The Hermit

Honestly just leaves you to do your thing 💀

Unlike The Detective, he is way too strong, so he'd probably end up throwing you around like a sack of potatoes and possibly accidentally off a cliff

If you guys are indoors he's slightly more relaxed but still on guard, since everything is new to him no matter how much you tell him its safe-

If you guys are outdoors though, he feels so bad about leaving you in case anything comes back before he does so he tries to make sure your awake when he leaves. <3 You're asleep when he comes back tho

Warfpat

He is a complete ass whether he realizes it or not 😭 I have a hc that no matter where he goes, goofy ass jazzy music follows him, so good luck

He makes lizard noises in your ear to test how deep of a sleeper you are snsnskfds

I'm sorry he loves you but he has. So much fun with you 😭

Probably interviews you and asks about your day and stuff and then pans to your chair which is empty because you fell of it in your sleep

He loves you but your lowkey going to have to get a restraining order if you want even a smidge of sleep around him</3

[egosworlde]

He could have more screen time in the future if Matpat make another alter egos theory

MATPAT EGOS?!?!?!

just binge watching game theorist and i can’t shake the fact that mat must have egos!

yes, i know it’s kind of marks thing but, IM BORED.

So why not make silly backstories for Matpats totally not important egos….. 

let’s start with.. WARFPAT!

LET’S START WITH THIS BELOVED MAN!

Let’s start with his backstory okay, hmm… I’ll let Markiplier and Matpat egos.. COLLABERATE! Cause why not?

ahem heres the backstory..

Warning, there will be death and this will be pretty dark so uh… yeah

~

Long ago, he was a sane and middle-aged man. He was best friends with the one and only, Colonel. Who fought with him side by side. They both were friends, good friends at that.

One day, they all return to their homes after the war. Healing and doing well until he finds out about the Colonel.

He finds out that the Colonel, his dear old friend, had gone missing and so, he looked for him.

Day after day, nothing, no trace, no records, nothing, and then one day he comes back to his home as usual but suspiciously finds his house, silent.

Usually, when he comes back home searching for the Colonel he is either greeted by his wife welcoming him back home or the distant sound of the TV in the room but, it was just pure silence.

And the lights were off, adding to Pat’s suspicion. (Yes, His name is Pat)

Then, he switched the lights on and there, he saw his wife, dead on the ground, blood splattered everywhere.

And at that moment, he sees the man he was looking for, holding a bloodied knife. In shock, he starts asking what happened but the Colonel was not answering.

He shook his best friend in a panic but was soon shushed with a gun held to his head.

But Wilford couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to kill one of his best friends, without him, he wouldn’t have been able to survive and meet Celine.

And so he shot him in the leg and ran. Never to be seen again.

After that, Pat was corrupted, he was shaken and hungry for revenge.

Ever since that he has searched for Colonel.

~~

Alright! thats okay i gues? I might do darkpat next who knows? there might be more! ANYWAYS ENJOY THIS

[world-of-ezraprisc]

On the Twitter side, someone requested a Warfpat from MatPat's 1st Ever Markiplier Egos Theory Video

Some Heads up: i'm gonna break from the requests for awhile to do some pending commissions, I'll be back to the requests once it's done.

Oh BTW, There's some Alt artwork under "Read More". U might want to check it.

So, I was discussing the WIP of the drawing, My friend suggested me to draw him in his Underwear in homage to Warfstache's Interviews Markiplier video.

So, here it was.

Matt, I am so sorry.

[shiddiqoh]

[strawberryamanita]

Wilford, WarfPat and Gulliver Bartlett as the fucking PowerPuff Girls

[iswmperson]

I mean, WarfPat exists, DarkPat, etc, @insane4fandoms drew someone's interpretation of a mack-style Illinois ego, Pennsylvania-

Random thought; what if - in all the infinite possibilities when the universe was REAL borked - Engie ended up on the Captain’s side of some of the situations when they lost him. Maybe not necessarily as Captain (but also) but more the Captain becoming the focus and the perspective changing. His perspective but meeting the Captain equivalent of Hee Hoo? Murder Mark? Bomb disposal too tbh because that’s my fav new ego.

Thought of this while writing tags - A DATE with THE CAPTAIN

[running-on-a-broken-record]

Egos with reader who has adhd?

(also I love your content!! 🫶)

Thank you :)

The Detective: - Literally doesn't even notice at first - More than happy to let you rant about your hyperfixations, he even encourages it! - If and when you get overstimulated, this man is trained. He knows exactly what to do to help you and get you out - If you are medicated and have to take your meds at a specific time, he is absolutely on top of making sure you take it. If you forget, don't worry, because this man has your back

MadPat: - He doesn't really notice either, he just assumes you're a very energetic person - He's perfectly fine with it when you tell him, as long as it doesn't become an annoyance (you could never be an annoyance to him) - Actually grows to like your stims. Specifically the smaller ones like leg bouncing or playing with your hands. He thinks it's cute - Overall completely unbothered (in a supportive way of course)

Mack: (head engineer) - "I noticed." - Pretends to be annoyed as an excuse to get you some fidget toys so he doesn't look soft when he just wants to help you :) - If he ever sees you using them, he's definitely smiling on the inside - He lets you play with his hands, too, if you'd rather do that instead of playing with the fidget - Space gods have mercy on anyone who comments on it, though, because they may or may not have gotten themselves a one way ticket to the afterlife

The Hermit: - He isn't exactly around humans much so he doesn't realize that your ADHD-ridden behaviors are considered "unusual" to neurotypicals - Has absolutely no idea what ADHD is. And likely will continue to not understand until long after you explain it. - But he does make it clear that no matter what, he still loves you :)

WarfPat: - I headcanon that he has ADHD too! - Actually gets kind of excited because he feels he can relate to you more! - Hyperactive bursts are common for him, so if you have them too, you guys will get along great - He talks about his most recent hyperfixation almost constantly. He doesn't even mind if you don't listen, but if you do, he's going into an almost uncomfortable amount of detail - He kind of does the same thing for you if you're talking about your hyperfixation, where he isn't always 100% listening, but he focuses in occasionally

DarkPat: - I have stated this a million times but I will do it again! RANT TO THIS MAN! He will listen to you talk about literally whatever (hyperfixations!! Talk about your hyperfixations!) and will listen intently the whole entire time - If you want any kind of fidget to stim with or just to have, he will get you like... a dozen to choose from, and even more if you want to - I promise you, if you have a hyperfixation that you're REALLY into, he will spoil you so bad, getting you merch and other fandom-related gifts like there's no tomorrow

[insane4fandoms]

Psst, I got more doodles of matpat egos, canon and fanmade from @wouldntyou-liketoknow and I, hope you like it. @crazy-obsessed-enby

[copper-sands]

you know what

i REALLY need someone to talk about Warfpat.

[shabeeboothedrawingender]

I drew the babies.

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

My EgoPats Meeting the Canon EgoPats

I saw @insane4fandoms post their thoughts on how the EgoPats would each react when Ness came along as the new kid in the fandom. So, I guess you could say I got inspired. Here's a list of each official EgoPat and each of my fanmade blorbo's (Caliban, Patty, Penn, Ozzie, and LeviathanPat's) thoughts on them.

(I've made a bunch of incorrect quotes to reflect these ideas! Go here if you'd like to see them!)

___

Ness

It'd make a lot of sense for my boys to meet Ness via simply eating at Sparky's. After all, they each need to travel sometimes for their work: Patty's gone on many tours and counting with Delux and the rest of his coworkers at the club, Penn goes on an excavation trip with his team or Illinois at least once a month, Ozzie's learned to cover long distances in short times with all the prison-escapes he's pulled off, Caliban has visited several states numerous times in order to complete a hit-job (whether he's managing it himself or is accompanying Murdock, Azalea or any other members of The Pentas Family). . .

In any case, a roadtrip is fundamentally incomplete without pausing to visit a cozy-looking diner. And it's pretty obvious that my fanegos would all enjoy the fun, uplifting vibes that Ness gives off.

Caliban would find Ness' energy to be refreshing. Since he spends a generous amount of time butchering/preparing his own "food," he knows how to appreciate all the things restaurant workers do. (Plus, I can absolutely see him offering some sly, semi-well-hidden puns in response to the typical jokes Ness likes to make with most customers.) And since the Black Market stuff Caliban is involved with makes such a pretty penny, you just know he leaves some quality tips.

Penn would like Ness' spirit. I know I haven't gone too in-depth with his backstory, but I think waiting tables was one of the many odd-jobs Penn worked while he was still studying for his paleontology/archeology degree. And it's safe to say that he probably didn't enjoy it as much as Ness seems to enjoy his job. So, Penn would respect him for taking such a stressful job in stride. He'd also give excellent tips! He would even if he didn't make a lot of money from his fossil-related projects.

Despite the persona he puts on while dancing, Patty is the type of person who gets nervous whenever he has to order something (I would know, I'm the same way). That being said, he'd really appreciate how kind and cheerful Ness is. The lighthearted banter Ness brings to the table would put Patty at ease. Yep, he'd give some above average tips as well.

Ozzie didn't have very many good experiences with restaurants when he first started out. That hasn't exactly changed nowadays, so you better believe that he knows to be grateful when he finds a joint where the owners/staff don't automatically seem judgemental or suspicious of him. Hell, he'd even take a generous amount of money from his personal stash to leave as the tip. (I think I'm just trying to say that my boys know how to treat retail/food workers.)

___

The Detective

Because I guess I'm predictable—it'd be impossible for the classic Hannibal Lecter And Will Graham schtick to not fall between Caliban and The Detective. (Of course, Caliban isn't nearly as arrogant as Hannibal, and The Detective most likely wouldn't slip into a corruption arc similar to Will's, but you get the idea.) I can see it now: The Detective putting on a pokerface whenever in Caliban's presence, speaking in a clipped tone, trying to keep an eye on Caliban every minute until they part ways. . .Meanwhile, Caliban would be all-too-happy to try and make The Detective question himself, casually recounting the hit-jobs he's worked on with Murdock, making morbid jokes left, right, and center, occasionally using his experience to offer some surprisingly sound advice for one of The Detective's cases. . .

At first, Ozzie would be very much iffy about interacting with The Detective. Sure, his crimes are merely petty ones (in a relative sense), but he's still mistrusting of anyone who works in law-related fields. Fortunately, my personal headcanon is that The Detective is more of a private consultant who doesn't work with cops unless he absolutely has to, so once Ozzie learns that, he might try to engage with him just a teensy bit. For all the stunts he's pulled, Ozzie has always made a point to never, NEVER hide out at a circus. That'd just be inviting some horror-movie-level shenanigans that he neither needs nor wants to deal with. So, it's safe to say that he'd be pretty sympathetic with The Detective's clown-induced trauma.

Patty would have sort of the same outlook. Considering how exotic work can sometimes be on the grittier side, he's had to talk to a fair amount of authorities. And, as I'm sure you can guess, not all of those authorities were too respectful towards him. But The Detective is nothing like those worse examples, and once Patty saw that, he'd be happy to get to know him. Still somewhat shy, but that's just how Patty is with most people outside of the club.

Penn would be fascinated by all of The Detective's stories (granted, he'd feel awful about the terror The Detective had to go through, but still). Considering he's used to only seeing obscure, somewhat magical/cursed stuff whenever he's working with Illinois, Penn would likely call up the aforementioned adventurer and tell him about what he heard from The Detective. Y'know, to see if Illinois has ever discovered anything similar.

LeviathanPat would mostly see The Detective as just another mortal to toy with. I say mostly, because he could still sense all the supernatural juju clinging to The Detective's mind thanks to his past. And he'd just delight in trying to break that mind into a thousand little pieces. . .good thing The Detective already has experience dealing with crimes against nature, at least. . .

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Mack

Oh damn. Caliban would have So. Much. FUN picking on Mack. Making vague little threats, lurking around corners, fidgeting with his meat cleaver in plain view. . .it'd get to the point where Caliban would just have to flash a sly, sharp-toothed grin in order to send Mack running the other way. That being said, Caliban wouldn't go out of his way to fully harm Mack; remember, while he is insane, he's still logical enough to not want to butcher someone who looks almost exactly like him. But he'd see all his scare tactics as a way to teach Mack some manners. There's always a bigger fish, after all.

I feel like Penn and Mack would have an interesting dynamic. Thank to his career in paleontology, Penn's already seen a generous amount of strange/unique creatures (or, what's left of them, that is). Meanwhile, despite his primary role on the Invincible II, it's very likely that Mack would end up researching or interacting with various alien lifeforms. So, yeah, those two could potentially have some fun comparing notes. Then again, we know Mack's general attitude, and Penn is the type to not have much patience for stuff like that. "Okay, well, this isn't going anywhere. I'll come back if you decide to stop being a prick for a few minutes."

Same goes for Patty's case with Mack. Now, my dear poledancer girlypop is very much empathetic, and he's always trying to be open-minded. Everyone's lives are different, right? Everyone's dealing with all sorts of things, which can obviously influence behavior in various ways. And while it wouldn't take Patty very long to realize how Mack's egotistical mean-streak is likely the result of something deeper (my personal headcanon is that Mack has some serious self-esteem issues and might think that acting the way he does is just another defense mechanism), that doesn't mean he's just gonna let himself be talked down to. (And perhaps Mack could be just a smidge dazzled by Patty, since I think that would be hilarious to see. Plus, I mean, come on. Have you SEEN Patty? If he's not a nice little dazzling boy then I don't know what is.)

Ozzie's opinion also wouldn't be too high. Back when he was still living on the streets, having to dodge cars and pick pockets in order to survive, he'd lost count of all the people who would scoff and look down their noses as they passed him by. Well, Mack reminds Ozzie of those people, so he won't hesitate to call him out (and mock him right back) whenever he's being annoying.

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The Hermit

Caliban and The Hermit would trade recipes. Because of course they would. In fact, Caliban would probably see meeting The Hermit as a weird-yet-lucky coincidence. Another cannibal to interact with, plus not having to worry about extra competition in the underground business? Awesome! And, on a more wholesome note: The Hermit would be all about giving Snare all the pets and treats he deserves. Caliban, meanwhile, would be intrigued by The Hermit's pet bats.

Due to all the fossil-digging stuff, it'd be difficult for Penn to not be an outdoorsman. Therefore, he'd be very impressed by The Hermit's tales of surviving in the wild. He'd be concerned at first, but then would swiftly realize just how much of a tough cookie The Hermit truly is.

Ozzie would be in a similar boat. He's had to camp out in the woods a few times while running away from cops, but he knows he couldn't handle that as long as The Hermit apparently has. So, he'd have some serious respect for the scrungly feral man.

Patty's relationship with The Hermit would be much more on the random side, but still very wholesome. Why? Well, if The Hermit happened to see Patty practicing his dance routines, he'd probably applaud and go, "Wowie! I've climbed a lotta trees, but I don't think I could pull off all those spinnin' tricks!" (Keep in mind that this would be completely innocent. Nothing more.) Patty, of course, would be flattered by the compliment. What's more, he'd find The Hermit's comment about tree-climbing adorable.

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MadPat

Most of my EgoPats would have similar reactions to MadPat: "Nope." "Don't engage." "Avoid eye-contact."

. . .Well, except for Caliban. Because, despite the two of them being killers, Caliban wouldn't be very impressed by Mad. From his perspective, Mad's methods are sloppy (and he's got a point. Seasoned Random Encounters fans have seen how much evidence Mad left in/around the pizzeria). And for another thing, Mad is just kinda irresponsible? Like, yeah, Caliban can see the appeal of arson, but he's met other arsonists who didn't accidentally burn themselves like slices of toast. It would get to a point where Caliban would just be irritated by Mad's antics.

LeviathanPat would also have an. . .odd view of Mad. Primarliy due to how brazen he is. Like, I haven't gone super in-depth with Leviathan's lore, but he definitely had a hand in crafting insanity as a concept. Leviathan breathes surreal dread. He's eaten the odd star or two back in the day (as in, pre-pre B.C.) His shape is almost constantly shifting because just one glance at what he truly looks like would launch enough trauma to make your brain grind itself into a paste! And for a mortal like Mad to just. . .not. Be. Afraid of him? To try and make unhinged smalltalk with him? To be calm and even excited while looking at all the nightmare-fuel that LeviathanPat is literally made out of?! One part of LeviathanPat just might (and that's a colossal might) be impressed by Mad's apparent fortitude. Another part would end up being annoyed by Mad, probably likening him to a mosquito. (Sneaking this in because @insane4fandoms put a particular little gem into a recent doodle page with some of my bois. Thanks so much, friendo).

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WarfPat

Most of my boys would instinctually know to not get too close to Warf. Even Caliban feels the need to walk on eggshells around him. (Sure, he's had to deal with the insanity of others; and like I said before, he has some insanity himself. But Warf is in a completely different ballpark, so. . .yeah.)

The reason I barely mentioned LevianthanPat with any of the previous egos is because he'd see them as a handful of more hopeless little mortals to try his luck with luring closer to the next window he chooses to lurk behind. . .except for WarfPat, that is. Even though he'd deny it, I think LeviathanPat would be ever-so-slightly intrigued by him. That guy's got the mind-breaking stuff that eldritch abominations specialize in, after all. Therefore, the outer monstrosity would be curious; perhaps he'd even settle for just chatting with Warf rather than trying to trick him.

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@sammys-magical-au @b-is-in-the-closet