#wants to live a normal life bc he would get treated better by people that he would consider if they would be a good snack for his vampires

[yanderefarm]

yandere vampire's pet introduction

cw;; yandere tendencies, blood, abuse, child abuse, manipulation, orgies, pet play, hypnosis

i love this little freak. there's a lot of information here bc i had a lot to say. he's so pretty and i love him so much one of my favorites for sure. im sorry to everyone who wants to be kind to him and treat him gently. im definitely gonna write about him getting bullied.

like I said before his yandere type is self destructive not like ares who is more traditionally yandere. so his content is less about him being jealous and hurting other people or you and more about his obsession. you're the only thing that matters in his life and it drives him to insanity.

silvan was born in a territory owned by a cruel vampire who purposely mistreated the humans under his watch because of how dirty he thought they were.

because of this it was hard for his family to find food so when he was a young child he was given to some low ranking vampires in exchange for human food.

that's how he got his scars around his neck. the vampires kept him for 3 days and nearly killed him before his blood started to develop a bad taste.

when humans are malnourished their blood starts to taste more like dead man blood which can be toxic to vampires. when silvan fell at your feet he tasted horrible, it wasn't until he'd been eating regular healthy meals for a few months that you actually risked trying his blood for the first time.

he tastes sweet. he's like biting into a perfect strawberry that's juicy and sweet without any tartness.

he believes that you're just inherently superior to him because you're a vampire. he feels like he needs to serve a powerful vampire like yourself that you're the only thing that gives his life meaning.

if he had been sired by you he would have been distraught and unable to cope with the idea of it. he wouldn't theoretically mind hurting humans. the problem is his self esteem and how lowly he thinks of himself.

he makes it no secret to you how he feels about himself. it's why his guilt tripping is so effective.

it also means that when he actually does something bad that earns him punishment he takes it incredibly hard. your servants will report his screaming and wailing so loud they can hear him if they go to that part of the manor.

you had to make his punishment room essentially baren so he wouldn't try to hurt himself. even the floors and walls had to be redone to minimize risk. it's basically a padded room.

you would expect him to lay on the guilt tripping extra hard after he gets out but he doesn't. his eyes are empty and his voice is just about gone. he's like a shell of a human being.

silvan will just walk around for a while like that. he'll hesitate to even go near you because he doesn't want to disappoint you again. he doesn't start to return to normal until you bite into him.

he loves when you feed on him. he feels wanted, needed even. you're so powerful and amazing there's no reason you should need him but you do.

he loves sitting in your lap while you drink. he'll run his fingers through your hair and babble about how happy he is. he just goes on and on if you let him, until he's absolutely woozy from blood loss.

he can't die easily because of the preservation procedure. he can withstand having his blood drained past the point of a regular human, he doesn't need to eat every day, he doesn't age. the only thing that could actually kill him is a deliberate attempt on his life.

you've robbed him of part of his humanity by turning him into a pet.

it's not like silvan cares though. you could take all of his humanity if you wanted. you could force him to crawl around like a dog for eternity and he would do so happily.

and compared to his home in the human farm his life is significantly better because he belongs to you. it's not just the fact that he's a pampered pet living in a lavish manor and eating whenever he desires. it's that he's yours.

he's met plenty of vampires by now, other lords like yourself included. no one compares to you. you can show him the bare minimum of affection and that is worth more than all the adoration he gets at parties.

some parties can be a bit too much for him. he's always willing to serve so if it's your will that he be passed around he'll submit himself to any vampire you decide. but sometimes vampires are too greedy, sometimes it reminds him too much of his childhood trauma.

he finds it hard to run to you for support, not because you're some cruel owner but because he doesn't believe he's worthy of your care. if he actually comes to you with a problem you know it's serious.

if he starts to panic or get upset while he's in the middle of being fed on and used by many vampires he can't exactly get up and run into your arms. that's when he finds his ribbon.

the first gift you gave him was a ribbon to tastefully hide his scars. you wrapped it around his neck like a dog collar. since then the original had gotten torn but you bought him a new one.

every one that got torn went to a shoe box in his room. he took good care of the one he wore around the manor but at parties they often got carelessly discarded by greedy vampires. you always bought him a new one, usually to match his outfit.

it was so important to him that he would use it to soothe himself when he was upset. it's presence was like your embrace to him. he would imagine your cold fingers gently touching his skin as you tied it on him. everything was ok.

not every party was a horrible slog fest. the small parties you and the other elite would have were the most fun. you and your friends would all bring your pets and while you talked business silvan got to spend time with the other pets.

he likes other pets because they tend to be the only humans who understand him. some humans have a deep resentment for vampires and they dream of revolution. some humans simply accept their lot in life and do their best while silently cursing their vampire rulers. it seemed like only pets understood the deep admiration for vampires.

silvan and the other pets would excitedly brag about their respective owners and gush over how cool they were. at least until the party turned to other things.

if you're an incredibly affectionate owner he'll become a spoiled brat. he'll still be self loathing but being sat on your lap adorned in all the beautiful things you got him is basically therapy. he doesn't ask for material possessions usually all he really wants is your attention. he interrupts your work, he crawls into your bed, he'll even accidentally barge into meetings with other vampires. he'll pretend to be your stupid pet who doesn't know better. he didn't know you were busy he just needed to see you so bad. the other vampires just watch his shameless smirk when you let him do what he wants.

if you're more of a tortured soul type vampire he loves you but you also irritate him a little. you gave him a good life because of how pathetic and sad he looked when you first met. you give him clothes, you feed him, you gave him a warm bed. so why won't you bite him? why do you wait until you're starving to finally feed on him? he's your property it's your right to feed on him. but you don't. when you finally do you're crying and apologizing. it makes him so frustrated he doesn't understand you. there's nothing more insulting to silvan than you not wanting to eat him.

if you're a mean owner it makes him feel all the more desperate to please you. he'll gladly ask you to take your frustrations out on him. if you want to see his face twist in pain you're going to have to get creative. you punch him, strangle him, cut him, anything and he has a big dopey smile on his face. he can so easily convince himself that you hurting him is your way of showing affection. as long as you don't lock him in the punishment room it means you love him.

as long as you let him stay by your side he'll remain your devoted and loyal pet.

silvan has a vampire kink. he gets so turned on by your fangs, your cold hands, your power over him. compel him. bite him. touch him.

with this comes a pain kink, a blood kink, and a hypnosis kink.

he's already obedient but compel him to make him quiet, dumb, and pliant. he'll jack off to the memory of you doing whatever you want to him for months.

it's hard not to notice just how much you drinking his blood really turns him on. especially if you're a messy eater. he has to physically restrain himself from kissing you and licking up his own blood.

if you're covered in someone else's blood he gets strangely jealous but still undeniably turned on. let him remove your bloody clothes or touch him with your bloody hands and he'll end up humping your leg.

he likes taking care of you. he's clumsy and overexcited but let him help you get dressed or take a bath or get you off. he'll do his best to show you the love you showed him.

he will suggest crawling under your desk and cockwarming you all day. but if you give a mouse a cookie.

he likes more traditional pet play too. put him in a proper collar and make him bark. call him good dog or good boy.

he's really skilled at taking multiple people at once. it's part of why he's so popular at parties. as long as you're not participating he'll be able to focus his attention on everyone.

if you're participating everyone else is chopped liver. he wants to show you how good a pet he is but he also only wants to touch you.

the rare exception is at the small parties with all your friends. all of the pets just get passed around. the first time he got really jealous of whoever you would put your hands on but as he became friends with them all the jealousy subsided somewhat. he knows they'll never want to leave their owners so he doesn't have to worry about them wanting you.

you're vampires of course you have to have cool vampire orgies. if you can't have cool vampire orgies what's the point!

his favorite position is either on your lap or with his legs over your shoulders. he wouldn't particularly care too much what position you had him in. he just needs you.

brat taming. if you spoil him you get to brat tame him and in return he'll misbehave more just to get punished.

he's the most fun to bully or mess with when you have company. he tries to be beautiful and put together eye candy by your side, he can hide his obsession with you for a little while. until you're pulling his hair or cutting into his neck. undo all the hard work your maids went through to make him presentable.

he can't hide how hard he gets when he's looking up at you and your company with tears in his eyes and his shirt stained with his blood. he'll play pretend that he's a miserable dog who's being mistreated by his owner but you're both well aware that he loves it. any kind of attention is good attention.

[itgetsdark-x]

ok but pre-outbreak Joel gets a cute young new neighbour and she’s a camgirl (pretending it’s more modern day and the technology exists lol) but he doesn’t know and one day she asked him for help with fixing something so he actually sees the inside of her house. And then later on, at night he’s trying to find something good 👀 for happy Joel time (bc his cute neighbour in her way too short shorts got him a lil hot and bothered) he comes across her doing a live cam show and he’s like “oh shit.. I know that room. And that ass..) and he realises it’s her and he just has to join in and see what’s going on and it just gets smutty.

And in the end he somehow reveals it’s him in a discreet non creepy way and she’s like yeah i know *wink wink* just really flirty and stuff! There could even be another part eventually where they actually get together and smuuuut!

This idea has been in my head the last few days but I’m not a good writer.. and you’re such a good smut writer 😭😭

A/N: oh my sweet anon, I am so sorry this took so long!! I may or may not have got carried away with this and rolled it all into one piece… so have this monstrous 7.1k word oneshot 🥹

Warnings: 18+, minors dni!! fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v (do better!), use of the word daddy, implied age gap (everyone is of legal and consenting age!), probs more I’ve missed. It’s just porn tbh people!

Word Count: 7.1k

Characters: Joel Miller x Cam Girl!Reader (f)

You waved sweetly, blew a kiss to your laptop screen and ended the stream after saying a final goodbye to your viewers. You closed down your laptop and reached behind you, on your bed to grab your T-shirt and shorts. You stood up from your spot on your bed, stretched your back with a groan and threw your baggy T-shirt on over your naked torso and shimmied your tight gym shorts over your bare legs. 

You had moved back to Austin a few months ago with your parents, things had ended badly with a previous partner and it meant moving back to the city to be closer to them. Your parents majorly helped you out, hence why you were able to afford the comfy house you lived in, deep in the suburbs. 

Your house was next to Joel Miller’s, he was a devoted single father to his daughter, Sarah, who was in her mid-teens. You would sometimes look after Sarah if her sitter ever cancelled last minute and you loved it, it was like having a little sister, she would often come round and ask for advice on clothes, boys and sometimes, homework, when she trusted you enough to know the subject. 

You kept a fair distance from her dad, he was a handsome male in his late forties, potentially pushing older and sure, you thought he was super handsome but it wasn’t a line you particularly wanted to cross due to the implications and mess if you did, so you stuck to yourself besides your interactions with Sarah. 

To help pay your rent and keep food on your table, you had a part-time job at a local store but the main source of your income came from your online presence. You performed on an adult-only cam site and offered subscriptions for your content. You had somewhat gained traction on the site and it left you living fairly comfortably, especially with your parents help. No one around you in your day-to-day life knew about your online presence and you preferred to keep it that way, it was the twenty-first century and sure your parents may have understood, you just preferred to not talk about it with them. 

You walked downstairs, your makeup was still on but you had pulled your hair up away from your face. You had gone to get a snack after a two-hour long show, you had given your midday viewers a special treat as you normally only performed in the evenings / later at night as that’s when the money seemed to roll in easier. You ate a bagel with cream cheese and sighed to yourself as you scrolled through your phone, you clocked the time and noticed you had four hours or so until you had an evening stream booked. You needed a hot bath to clean yourself up after this afternoon’s one and a nap also sounded amazing. 

With that in mind, you wandered back upstairs and switched your taps on in your en-suite and awaited the water to warm up. You waited five minutes and the water was still icy cold, you rolled your eyes and pulled your clothes back on. 

“Fucks sake.” You huffed angrily and stomped downstairs to pop next door. 

Joel was a contractor and all-round handyman, sure he wasn’t a plumber but he would most definitely have a better idea of what was going on and he would most likely be able to fix it. You walked down the driveway of your house to head to Joel’s; the cool summer breeze pricked your skin, goosebumps rose on your arms and legs and your nipples hardened under the white fabric of your T-shirt. 

You brought your hand up and knocked on the door once, you looked down at your appearance and suddenly felt self-conscious, you pulled your arms across your chest to cover your nipples and shifted on the spot as you awaited someone to answer the door. 

“Oh, hi darlin’.” Joel said, smiling through his confusion as to why you were here and knocking on his door. “Sarah is at a friend’s for the night, she’s been beggin’ me to let her have a sleepover so I gave in. Were you looking for her?” He asked softly. 

You tracked his eyes, they started from your flip-flop clad feet and followed the shapely lines of your bare legs before they hungrily raked over your torso and found their way back to your own eyes. You swallowed roughly and pulled your arms tighter around yourself. 

“Uh, I was actually looking for you…” you started. “I’ve got somewhere to be in a few hours and I need a bath, my taps aren’t running hot. I was wonderin’ whether you could come over and take a look?” You asked nervously. 

“Oh sure! It’ll probably be a simple fix, let me grab my tools from the truck and I’ll be right over.” He smiled and closed his door behind him. 

He grabbed his toolkit from the back of the truck and ushered for you to lead the way back to your house. Joel watched as your hips swayed as you walked, the stretchy fabric of your gym shorts clung to your hips, ass and thighs perfectly. They rode up your behind in the most teasing way and Joel mentally cursed himself for imagining what laid underneath the material. 

“Hot date tonight then?” Joel asked innocently as you walked him up your stairs. 

“Ha. Yeah. Something like that.” You laughed awkwardly, god if only he knew. 

You opened your bedroom door to Joel and let him walk into your room. “Yeah, just through that door. I’m useless with this sorta stuff and normally I would call my dad but he’s at work and I noticed your truck in the driveway…” you mumbled and stood in your bedroom awkwardly. 

You looked around your room, just scanning the area to ensure you hadn’t left any of your toys out from your stream and you felt your cheeks immediately glow when you noticed your vibrator sitting by your pillow. 

Joel was humming as he took your bath panel off to inspect the plumbing work under the ceramic and you took the opportunity to push the vibe just under your pillow. You went over to the bathroom and leant on the door frame; you couldn’t help but admire the older male’s biceps as they flexed as he toyed with the temperature valve under the bath. He fiddled around for fifteen minutes or so until the water ran hot, the water immediately steaming in the air. 

You grinned at him as he called out ‘gotcha’. “Joel! You’re a hero, thank you! I owe you a pack of beers, I’ll get them over to you at some point this week, I promise.” You enthused and clapped your hands. 

Joel sat up from his position, clicked your bath panel back in place and switched the taps off. He looked at you and dusted his hands off on his jeans, as you clapped he couldn’t help but notice the way your breasts squeezed together under your shirt. He could clearly see that you weren’t wearing any underwear, your nipple’s colour showed through your white T-shirt and he felt his cock twitch in his boxers at the sight. 

“Don’t be silly, darlin’. I’m just happy to help out a neighbour in need. Plus you look out for Sarah, I owe you a lot more than sorting out a couple valves under your tub.” He laughed and threw his spanner back into his tool bag. 

“I love Sarah! She’s like a little sister to me, I just hope I’m not a bad influence on her!” You giggled and watched as Joel packed up his tools. 

“You a bad influence? I doubt that very much, sweetheart.” He smiled softly and you let him pass you back into your room. He looked around your room and admired your decorations. “I like what you’ve done in here, looks real nice. You do this yourself?” He asked and toyed with the material of the canopy that hung above your double bed. 

You nodded proudly. “Yeah, well, my dad helped me a little but I always get impatient and end up doing it myself just so it’s done.” You chuckled and he looked around before clapping his hands awkwardly once. 

“I should uh, let you have your bath in peace. Unless you need anything else from me?” Joel asked causing your eyebrows to rise in shock. “No! I meant um, sorry darlin’! Didn’t mean to sound so dirty with that suggestion, I mean do you have anything else that needs to looking at around your house?” He corrected himself and you laughed softly at him. 

“Oh, of course you didn’t.” You mumbled, an edge of disappointment lacing your voice. “Well, my facets and pipes under the sink, downstairs are a little loose and leaky. If you wouldn’t mind tightening them, I would be really grateful.” You smiled softly and after Joel gave you a nod, you lead him downstairs into your kitchen. 

You bent down to move your cleaning supplies out of the way and Joel swore his heart almost stopped, he could clearly see the outline of your ass and your privates as the lycra clung to every one of your curves. You stepped back and let Joel work again. 

“Joel, can I please be really rude and excuse myself to go and take that bath? I need to clean up before I’m needed elsewhere. I really appreciate your help with this all and please feel free to let yourself out. I’ll pop by tomorrow with some beers!” You said sweetly. 

“No worries at all, I won’t be long at all, sweetheart. Please don’t worry about the beers, it’s my pleasure. Honestly.” Joel spoke from under the sink as you left the kitchen to go back to your en suite. 

Joel continued to work on your kitchen sink, it was a short job and he was soon finished. He heard the water stop running upstairs and once again, he scolded himself for letting his filthy thoughts run away from him. He imagined your body slipping into soapy water, the bubbles clinging to your breasts, your perky nipples inviting him to suck them into his mouth and your perfectly round ass glistening with the soapy water. He groaned to himself as he picked up his toolkit to leave, he briefly palmed his half-hard cock in his jeans and he was feeling so thankful that he had the house to himself that evening. 

Whilst in the bath, you laid back into the enticing warm water and you let your thoughts run away from you. You imagined how Joel’s calloused fingers would feel buried deep in you, working your pussy closer to orgasming. You imagined how it would feel to be embraced by him before he pushed his dick deep into you until you were crying for him to stop. You physically shook your head and swallowed thickly, that right there, those thoughts, that’s exactly why you tried to keep your distance from the older male. He got under your skin and lit a fire deep in the pits of your belly. Silently, you were appreciative that you were so worked up because you knew it meant you would be giving your viewers a great show tonight. 

The time soon came for you to start your live stream; you were wearing a lacy pink bra and matching panties; the bra had crisscross straps across your cleavage and your nipples showed through the sheer material. 

“Evening guys,” you purred and gave a wave to your viewers. Whenever you streamed you work a masquerade mask to hide your identity and you always put a voice on; it was similar to your own but a little bit lower and more sultry. “How’s everyone’s day going today? I know I’m super excited to be here tonight.” You whined as your fingers toyed with your hardening nipples. 

Your set up was simple, you usually sat on your bed at the beginning of streams before moving into all crude positions for your viewers; their comments and tips egging you to go further. 

Comments started to flood in and it didn’t take long for you to lose your bra; you kept your panties and stockings on as the garment you chose for tonight was crotchless which mean you could toy with yourself without losing the sexy underwear. 

You were laid back, your back was arched off the bed as you plunged your rabbit vibrator in and out, your thoughts swam with Joel and imagining it was him pleasuring you. Small moans tumbled from your lips as the noise of comments and monetary tips filled the room. 

You were getting closer to having an orgasm and you didn’t know how long you could hold off for. Normally, when streaming, you would fake it a lot since it was a lot of effort to have orgasm after orgasm, especially for hours at a time; by now you had perfected the faking of one but not tonight. Your fingers pinched at your nipples and you shuddered on your toy as you worked yourself through it. You removed the toy and brought it up to your bare lips, you sucked it into your mouth and moaned. 

“Wow, thank you Sunset331 for the $100 tip. I’ll be sure to send a picture your way after the stream.” You purred. 

*Handyman47 Entered the Chat*

“Good evening, Handyman47. I hope you enjoy the show!” You called out and turned so the camera had a perfect view of your exposed ass and vagina. You pushed the toy back into yourself and whimpered at your overstimulation as you got right back into the quick rhythm. 

—

Joel was frustrated, sexually and emotionally. He needed to relieve some of the stress that had built up this afternoon. He had always found you tempting and attractive but tried his hardest to ignore you whenever you came round. But there you were today, all perfect and tight, he was blinded by his arousal.

He laid back on his bed, his back pushed up against his pillows as he got his laptop out and started Googling adult-only sites that could help him along the way. He stumbled across a streaming site he hadn’t seen before, it looked decent enough so he quickly made an account and clicked onto one of the first streams he saw the thumbnail for. 

The actress looked attractive enough for him to take the edge off and he thought somewhere in the back of his mind, that the body on his screen looked similar to yours but he pushed that sinister thought away and assumed it was because you had frustrated him so much earlier that day. 

Then he heard the voice from his laptop, “Good evening, Handyman47. I hope you enjoy the show!” It clicked instantly in his brain, his eyes scanned the background of the room and he swallowed thickly. 

Joel couldn’t help the way his cock twitched in his hand, he was already stroking himself and then he happened to stumble across you. He watched on as the toy disappeared into your hungry heat and would come out covered in your arousal, he groaned loudly from the back of his throat as his thumb swiped over his cock head and lubricated his length with his own pre-cum. 

He knew he should close his laptop down and go and take a cool shower but he couldn’t tear his eyes off of his laptop screen, he looked out his window and could see yours; your curtains were drawn and there was a charming pink glow coming from behind them. Just like in your stream. He was so close to you, yet you had no idea just what he was doing a mere distance away from you or how crazy you drove him.

—

“Oh yeah, just like that daddy. Please don’t stop. Yeah.” You moaned, you had switched positions again. You were on your back and your sticky privates showed directly to the camera. Your juices were creamy and thick as you continued to push your toy into your hole. “Hmm, I think I should change to something bigger. I need a real man to come here and fill me up.” You purred and sat up to read the comments. 

Handyman47: I volunteer, darlin’. 

Sunset331: on my way, need u so bad

Jungleboy87: show us that needy pussy again. pls

You giggled as you read the comments, your tits hung in front of the camera as you did so but one caught your eye. Handyman47, surely it was a coincidence, no? Joel was around that age, that was his job and the fact he called you darling. Your throat went dry as you pondered the possibility of it being the older man from across the road. 

You pushed that thought aside and grabbed your dildo off your bedside table; it was hot pink and a thick 10” in length, your biggest one to date. 

“What do you think, guys? Do you reckon I can make it fit in my little hole?” You purred and ran it through your wet folds. 

You pressed the tip of the toy into your hole and whimpered at the immediate stretch, slowly, you plunged it into yourself. The stretch of the toy stung and you closed yours eyes, imagining it was Joel filling you out like that. 

Comments of encouragement flooded the chat once again and you smiled devilishly as you pulled the toy out to switch your position. You lifted the prop from the floor, it was a large piece of plastic that you used specifically for streaming, it allowed you to suction your toy to it and it meant you could ride it with ease. 

“Oh fuck, daddy. You’re so big. Dunno if I can take it all like this.” You whimpered, straddling the toy and slowly pushing yourself down onto it. 

You rode your toy, the pleasure already building up in your body and you clenched around it weakly as your thighs burned with the effort. 

Joel watched on, his eyes fixated on his screen; he saw the way your tight pussy stretched around the toy and he pumped his cock enthusiastically with each rise and fall of your body. His tip was leaking pre-cum and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he was cumming into his palm over the sight of you fucking yourself. 

“Gonna squirt all over your cock.” You shuddered and you meant it, it was how you ended your shows normally; one final blow out for the fans. 

Your hand fumbled beside you as it reached for your bullet vibrator. You brought it to your clit and almost immediately you felt your orgasm come crashing through you, your hips faltered as your ground down onto the toy below you. You rose as your felt yourself gush around it, your juices splashed onto the toy and you couldn’t help the way your eyes screwed shut and a loud, shaky moan fell from your lips. 

“Fuck, Joel.” You whimpered, your voice barely above a whisper. 

He heard it. That was his name. Surely not. Joel watched as you continued to squirt, his cock throbbed and with one final pass of his hand, he came hard. Your name fell from his lips with a groan, he kept hearing the way you whimpered his name as you came on your toy over and over in his head and it made his spent dick jump as he milked himself of every last drop. 

You shuddered as you removed the toy fully from yourself and discarded your bullet to the side of you after turning it off. 

“Wow guys, I’ve made a massive mess here.” You giggled and slapped your sopping wet core once, the wetness apparent as your fingers tapped lightly. 

Comments of appreciation were flooding through your chat and you grinned as you read each one. 

“Thank you sooo much for tuning in guys, I won’t be streaming tomorrow but I’ll be back the day after. Thank you all so much for the support. I love you.” You cooed sweetly and blew a kiss to the camera before shutting the stream down to clean up after yourself. 

—

You had slept soundly after last night’s stream; it was a busy one. All morning, whilst trying to do some admin work, all you could think of was that one username that stuck out to you… Handyman47. You were sure it just had to be a sick coincidence, your thoughts were clouded by lust in the moment and of course it wasn’t Joel. Why would he watch your stream? He didn’t find you attractive, that would just be ridiculous. That’s what you told yourself, anyway. 

You finished up your work for the morning and decided to pop out to the store, to buy the beer you had promised Joel. It was a warm day so you dressed yourself in a sunflower-yellow sundress and flip flops, your hair was tied up messily. 

Once you arrived home from the store, you parked your car up and made your way over to Joel’s house to give him the cool beers. It was a small gesture to say thank-you for the help, even if he insisted that he didn’t want them, it was the polite thing to do and you were raised with manners. 

You raised your arm and placed a quick knock to the door, you were half-expecting to see Sarah’s gorgeous locks but instead you were met with Joel. 

“No Sarah again?” You asked. 

“She uh, she wanted to stay another night at her friend’s and well, you know how the kid is, how could I say no?! You disappointed to see me again, darlin’?” Joel joked with a smirk, although, oddly, he barely made eye contact with you. 

You shrugged. “Eh, not quite my girl but you’ll do.” You joked and held the beers out for Joel. “Plus, she can’t exactly drink these. Not for a couple years anyway.” You winked. 

“Or ever.” Joel replied dryly, catching your eyes this time. He took the pack of beers from you with a smile. “I’m tellin’ ya, you didn’t need to do this for me! It was a small favour. How ‘bout you come on in, we can crack open a beer together?” Joel asked, opening his door wider for you to step in. 

“Oh I wouldn’t wanna impose, I bought them for you to enjoy. Don’t feel like you have to share!” You smiled. 

Joel shook his head and gently took your wrist, to pull you inside. “Nonsense. You look like you’ve had a busy mornin’ and could do with a beer. Go ahead and make yourself comfy in the lounge, I’ll put these in the fridge and grab a couple.” 

You obliged albeit reluctantly, you didn’t mind spending time with Joel but he drove you mad; just being in a close proximity to him like this drove you insane, you couldn’t act on what you wanted and it was torture. You sat down on the couch, crossed your legs and smoothed your dress down, the hem rested comfortably on your upper thigh, just teasing with a glimpse of your forbidden skin. 

Joel entered the room and gave you a bottle of beer, you shot him a small thank you before taking a sip. He sat opposite you in his arm chair and let his legs sprawl out widely; he was wearing shorts and a tight-fitting t-shirt, the material hugging his biceps deliciously. 

“How was your hot date last night?” Joel enquired innocently, pretending he didn’t know what you had been up to. “I’m sure I could hear you screamin’ from here.” He teased. 

You laughed dryly and shot him a deathly glare which only made him chuckle. “Wasn’t a hot date, I was actually um, I was working.” You mumbled and stared into the neck of your bottle before drinking some more. 

“That time of night? I thought you worked at that fancy little store in the city?” Joel asked, probing you further. He was treading on thin ice, either you were going to open up about what you were doing or you were going to lie through your teeth. He noticed the way you switched your legs over and shifted awkwardly in your seat. 

“I uh — I have an extra job.” You shrugged, keeping your cards close to your chest. Joel had never really spent this much alone time with you, especially not to ask you this many questions. “How’s work going for you, a lot of jobs on at the moment?” You asked just trying to deflect the attention away from your work. 

“Nope, you’ve got me intrigued, darlin’. What were you doing? What’s this extra job?” 

You cringed, you placed your bottle on the table and hid your face behind your palms. “I — I model and perform on an adult-only site; I do live shows of porn, basically.” You admitted, your cheeks were glowing under your hands. 

Joel watched as you hid your face, he bit back a smirk and watched as your embarrassment poured from you; it was wrong to admit, but it turned him on, to see you all embarrassed and flustered. 

“Oh yeah, I know the ones.” Joel said casually, taking another drink with a shrug. 

You peered through your fingers and your mind shot back to the username. Surely it wasn’t him. No. 

“You, Joel Miller, are telling me you’re one of those creeps on the site?” You asked, raising an eyebrow up at him. 

“Wouldn’t say I was a creep.” He stated bluntly. “I have needs darlin’, especially when my neighbour drives me mad all afternoon dressed in tight shorts or a sexy little dress.” His eyebrow was cocked upwards, testing the water to see exactly how you would react. 

You put your hands on your lap, your mouth fell agape and you shifted uncomfortably in your seat again. 

“Oh. I. Um. You?” You mumbled incoherently, your brain not working quickly enough to form an intelligible sentence which caused Joel to laugh. “You — you see anything on those sites of interest?” You asked quietly, your hands smoothing the fabric of your dress more out of nerves than to adjust the garment. 

“Saw a nice little show last night…” Joel said quietly, he stood from his seat; you could see the vague outline of his thickening cock in his shorts and your privates throbbed. “Thought I recognised the room…” he said, sitting down next to you. “But then I thought, no, it couldn’t be that good little girl that lives next to me. Not with the way she was performing, doing such a good job at taking in her toys.”

Joel was closing the space next to you, you could feel the weight of his body next to you and his fingers tucked a few strands of hair behind your ear. It was a tender movement and it made you shiver physically under his touch. You avoided making eye contact with him, you were sure this was just a joke and he was teasing you for your extracurricular job. 

“Look at me.” Joel demanded, his lips were by your ear now, they just ghosted over the area and you shook your head. “Look. At. Me.” Joel said more sternly and his voice was dropped impossibly low. 

His hand held your bare knee, his fingers teasing to travel just under your dress and you finally bared to look at him. Your eyes were wide in shock, your chest heaved slightly with your more laboured breaths and small beads of sweat collected on your neck. 

“It was you…” you whispered to which Joel just smirked. “Son of a bitch. You’re a dirty old man, Mr Miller.” You teased, still feeling nervous under his watchful gaze and touch. 

“Is that why you whimpered out my name as you squirted on your toy? Cause I’m a dirty old man?” Joel asked, his voice dripping with sheer confidence. 

“I — no I didn’t.” You huffed. 

Joel squeezed the delicate skin of your thigh and you made a pathetic noise from the back of your throat before you tried to swallow it back. 

“I heard it.” Joel said smugly. “God, made me cum so hard on myself to hear you calling out my name.” He groaned, thinking back to his activities from last night. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call out your name, I didn’t think anyone heard me. Please don’t tell anyone about my extra job.” You whined as Joel’s hand slid up under your dress slightly, his fingers brushed past your clothed heat and your eyes dipped shut for a second. 

“How about I show you how good I feel compared to those pieces of plastic.” Joel whispered. 

“Please.” You breathed and bucked your hips upwards, searching for the feel of Joel’s fingers. 

Joel silently got off the sofa, you wanted to whine and bring him back so you could feel his large frame next to you again. Before you could react, the older male was sinking to his knees in front of you and was holding your thighs firmly. 

“Wanted to taste you from the day you moved in next door.” Joel stated and your cheeks flushed at his admission. 

He pushed the fabric of your dress up, you took the hint and was quick to discard it to the side of you. Your breasts were freed from the fabric and Joel groaned deeply as he drank in your naked form. He held your thighs again and he pulled you forward so your panties were closer to his face which caused you to yelp.

“Look at you. Fuck.” Joel cursed as he let one of his fingers trail across the wet fabric of your panties. “You wet already for me? Thought you woulda got it outta your system last night.” Joel teased with a knowing smirk as your shuddered against his gentle touch. 

“Are you gonna chat up my vagina all afternoon or are you gonna show me how much better you are than my toys?” You snapped with a bratty smile. 

“I won’t give you anything if you talk to me like that. Now be a good girl and shut up for me, yeah?” Joel bit back, his voice full of condescension which admittedly, only fuelled your arousal further. 

You rolled your eyes and just as you opened your mouth to argue back with the man, he pulled your panties to the side and let one of his fingers sink into your heat roughly. You threw your head back and your fingers gripped at the fabric of Joel’s t-shirt, the sudden action throwing you off. 

Joel twisted his digit to curl it inside of you before he removed it again, causing you to whine angrily at him. You lifted your head to grumble but instead you were silenced as you locked eyes with him; he brought his wet finger to his lips and sucked it in with a soft moan. Your lips parted in silent shock as Joel sucked your arousal into his mouth, moaning like it was the finest food he had ever eaten. 

“Taste so sweet, princess. Best thing I’ve ever tasted.” He groaned, finally removing your panties from your privates. As you lifted your hips to allow the man more access, he noticed how evident your arousal was, you were near dripping onto his sofa and his mouth watered. “I’m going to eat you out now and I won’t stop until you squirt right into my mouth, so how about you be a good girl and do that for me.” Joel said sternly. 

You nodded dumbly; no man had ever spoken to you this way before, at least, no man you truly wanted. Without another word, Joel dipped his head down and licked a fat stripe up through your folds. You moaned softly, the noise was delicate and sincere, a complete contrast to how you sounded coming from his laptop screen last night. Your body shuddered against the sofa and your fingers had weaved their way into Joel’s salt and pepper hair; his soft locks entangled with your digits. You gently tugged at his hair causing the male to make a gruff noise into your folds, the vibrations rippled through you and you moaned again. 

Joel sucked your clit into his mouth, the sensitive bud was already throbbing with the male’s previous efforts and as soon as his lips suctioned around it your back was arching off his sofa. The old couch creaked under your body as your contorted your back when Joel’s tongue flicked over your clit. 

“Fuck me!” You cursed, one of your hands leaving Joel’s head to pathetically grip at the edge of the sofa for further stability. 

“Later,” Joel mumbled into your wet pussy. 

You let out a breathy chuckle; your head was swimming, your thighs were shaking with the pleasure as Joel continued to work his tongue expertly over your clit and occasionally to dip down into your hole. You felt your orgasm start to bubble lowly in the depths of your belly, just a gentle simmer as Joel licked at you like a man who had been starved. 

As if he read your mind of wanting more, Joel brought two fingers up to your hole; he barely dipped them into you and you whimpered weakly. He pushed one finger in, just barely up to his knuckle before he withdrew it and licked over your clit again, the tip of his tongue flicking at it gently. 

“Please.” You pleaded with a weak and shaking voice. 

Joel looked up at you; his dark pupils were blown with lust and he smirked as he let both fingers push into you, again, barely going past his first knuckles. He twisted his fingers in you and pushed them in fully until the palm of his hand met your body. You let out a loud gasp as your eyes fluttered shut and like a perfectly-timed dance, Joel flicked his tongue across your clit once again. 

“Fucking Christ, shit.” You cursed, your voice loud and sharp as Joel worked his fingers rhythmically into you. 

Joel laughed softly against you as he plunged his fingers into you again and again. He wrapped his lips around your clit again and suckled at the bud softly as his fingers worked into you quickly. Your orgasm came crashing down, you barely had time to register it as Joel worked his fingers quicker, he curled them upwards and they bumped the spongy spot inside of you that had screams tumbling from your lips. 

“G-gonna,” is all you managed to get out, the room was filled with your moans and the obscene wet noise of your arousal as Joel fingered you with fervour. 

“That’s it,” Joel cooed. “Good girl, cum for me. Soak me, need it.” He moaned as he pulled his mouth off of your clit but kept his face near and he replaced it with his thumb. 

The different sensation threw you off momentarily but it was too late and your orgasm ripped through your body, it drew a long moan from your throat; the noise was animalistic and raw and it echoed through the room. Joel removed his fingers and with that, you let go and whimpered as you gushed onto Joel’s face, he lapped up your juices and you shuddered through your orgasm. Joel watched as your pussy clenched and fluttered around air, the aftershocks of your orgasm evident as you writhed in your spot. 

“Look at you.” He sighed happily, watching you still. “Even better than on the screen, so perfect, so beautiful.”

You blushed as his words and you weakly let go of his hair your legs were still quaking as he let go of them, you slumped against his sofa; completely unashamed of your naked state compared to Joel’s fully dressed one. He stood and the outline of his hard cock was evident in his light shorts, there was a darkened wet patch and your mouth watered at the thought he got that turned on by pleasuring you. 

“Come here and taste yourself on me.” Joel breathed, taking your cheek to pull you in for a bruising kiss. 

You held onto Joel’s arms as he kissed you, his tongue trailed over your bottom lip and greedily you sucked it into your mouth, urging him to explore every crevice of your mouth. You made a small noise of appreciation as your mouth was flooded with the taste of Joel mixed with the tang of your own arousal. 

“Fuck me already. Please.” You breathed against Joel’s face, momentarily breaking the kiss. 

“How do you wanna take me, darlin’?” He asked. 

“However you wanna give it to me.” You retorted with a smirk. 

“Get on your knees on the couch, stick your ass up for me and show me that pretty little cunt.” He growled lowly and you obliged happily, doing as he said. 

You positioned yourself so your chest was pressed to the back of the sofa and you allowed Joel full access to yourself. You wiggled your ass as you heard Joel toss his shorts to the side haphazardly. 

“All for me now, huh?” Joel asked, his hands mauled at the skin of your ass and spread your cheeks, he took his length and pressed the tip into your hole, before you knew it, it was gone again and he slapped it gently at your oversensitive clit. “Tell me how bad you want it.” He hissed, running his cock through your wet folds, nudging your clit with each pass. 

“Please, Joel. I want it so bad, never needed a cock so bad in my life, you already made me feel better than any of my toys or the boys I’ve fucked before put together. Please give me your cock, wanna feel your cum fill me up so bad. P-please.” You whined, your voice coming out as small, wrecked sobs as Joel continued to rub his cock over you. 

“Good girl.” He praised and without warning be bottomed out inside of you, you moaned loudly; a perfect blend of pleasure and pain rippled through your veins as Joel brushed some hair from your face so he could evaluate your emotions. 

He rubbed your ass with his palm and landed a bruising slap to it, you moaned and threw your head back in pleasure. Joel took that opportunity to pull his hips back, to pull out of you fully; he passed his cock through your soaked pussy lips once again. Your mouth opened to complain but before a single noise could leave your mouth, he was pushing back into your greedy heat without warning. 

“So. Fucking. Tight.” Joel groaned, accentuating each of his words with a hard thrust of his cock. 

He built up a harsh pace, your fingers turned white as they gripped at the fabric of the sofa below you. You were sure if you held on any tighter then the fabric would surely rip under you. Your body prickled as if a hundred needles were touching your skin, your stomach knotted as you felt another orgasm working it’s way through you. Your walls fluttered around Joel and your legs wobbled as you tried to stay grounded as his thick cock nudged that sweet spot inside of you. 

“G-gonna, gonna…” You whimpered, your eyes screwing shut. 

“Mmhm, that’s it. Atta girl, cum on my cock. Tell me how good it feels, princess.” Joel whispered, leaning forward so his body was pressed to yours. 

“Fuck!” You cursed, teetering on the edge of your orgasm. “Feels so good, n-never felt this good before. Making me feel drunk on your cock, gonna need it again and again and again. Please give it to me. Please. So good.” You rambled, words falling from your lips carelessly as Joel fucked you into your orgasm. 

His thick but nimble digits wound their way around you to fall to your clit, he circled the bud perfectly and it had your head swimming. It was the thing you needed to push you over the edge; you felt as if you had fallen from a cliff, just floating in midair as Joel worked you through it. Moans of profanity and his name fell from your parted lips as you came around the man’s cock, your walls clenched him and held him tightly. 

Seemingly, that was what sent Joel over the edge, his hips faltered and he thrust into you once more, much weaker this time. His cock twitched in your walls and with a groan, and his hands squeezing your hips roughly, he came deep inside of you. You whimpered as your body went limp; Joel’s hot cum filled you and it made you clench weakly around him, your greedy hole trying to suck him in deeper still. 

“Fuck me.” You whispered, your ass still on display for the older man as he pulled out of you with a wince. 

“Just did that, darlin’.” He laughed breathlessly, trying to gain composure once again. 

You rolled your eyes, was typical Joel to state that when clearly it was a rhetorical state meant as a throwaway. 

“I should um, well I should pop to the bathroom to quickly clean up and then get out of your hair.” You said, somewhat awkwardly as you stood shakily from the sofa and held your thighs together tightly. 

Less than a minute ago, the man’s cock had been inside of you and now that the thick tension and lust had cleared the air you couldn’t help but feel a little bit awkward about it. 

“Stay?” Joel asked. “I mean, I wasn’t really done with you yet.” He grinned boyishly and you couldn’t help but smile at him. “Just an idea, darlin’ but how about we go shower and clean up and order some food. We still got more beers to get through. Then, I’m sure if you’re a really good girl, I could give you my cock again.” His hand was stroking up and down your arm, his fingers tickled your skin and in their wake they left goosebumps. 

You looked up at Joel, into his deep brown eyes and you nodded with a grin. 

“Deal. But you’re paying for the food, you ol’ perv.” You teased with a giggle. 

“Get upstairs.” Joel said with a roll of his eyes. 

You laughed to yourself again as you walked away, to go upstairs only to yelp loudly when Joel came up behind you and placed a light tap to your ass and rushed in front of you. 

“You’re dead, Miller.” You called and chased up behind him to return the favour. 

———————————————————————

—————

[effy-writes]

Striker: ABC’s of Intimacy

Aftercare:

this dude does not care 😭 at most he'll lay down beside of you and smoke a cigar, asking you if you want a puff

Body part:

ass definitely. spanks it during sex and even when yall aren't fucking.

Communication:

only roleplays him being a cowboy, and whenever he does he'll treat you like a pet. only set of communication is degrading you

Dirty secret:

he's lowkey a masochist. he likes it when you slap his face (his excuse to "punish" you)

Experienced:

not a lot tbh. he doesn't get around as much bc of his assassination business. but the more he fucks you the better he gets. quick learner.

Fav position:

Him standing while you're holding onto him. Kinda like riding but him standing.

Goofy or serious:

serious most of the time, he only ends up laughing if you make fun of the word "blitzy" (and sometimes he might end up getting pissed off, depending on what kind of day he had)

Hair (pubic hair):

doesn't do anything to it, just let it full grow. (pretty nice color of white)

Intimacy:

ha no. isn't the romantic type. at most he'll do is play yee haw music

Jacks off:

hardly ever! he doesn't have a lot of time to do so, so whenever he gets horny he just makes sure you're home and if you wanna fuck

Kinks:

he's topping and dominating, so he's into sadism and rigger (tying up, esp with a lasso)

Locations:

only at the house, but he loves having sex in the living room. he finds it weird fucking in public and people watching

Motivation:

watching you ride a horse while the sun is beaming on you, if you're wearing a white shirt he can see how damp it is because of the sweat, dude goes crazy

No's:

him bottoming/subbing, fucking in public, that's p much about it

Oral:

He likes receiving than giving. you would actually have to ask him to give you head, he won't do it on his own. when you're giving head to him he loves throat fucking

Pace:

fast and rough, loves hearing you moan in pain. dude is a menace. if he sees you're overstimulated/too much pain then he'll slow it down for you and go gentle, he'll just say "sorry" and that's it.

Quickies:

loves them, and you guys do it a lot (because he literally has no time). he gets super happy whenever you ask for one too

Risks:

not risky what's so ever. he wants to keep his sex life tamed, doesn't want to add anything to it other than what yall have right now

Stamina:

pretty high stamina, i mean he does farm work (before he got caught by I.M.P), his job is assassinating, so he can go on for a long time. but after cumming he has a long refractory period

Toys:

he's not into them, hates being pegged, hates using dildos on you, but he is willing to use a vibrator on you while fucking. when it comes to whips he only uses his lasso (because actual cowboy whips hurt like a bitch, and he doesn't want to hurt you THAT bad) he doesn't want to use safe body whips because he just thinks they're stupid, that's it.

Unfair:

nope, he hates edging, just finds it counterproductive. teasing on the other hand, he likes to dirty talk but then not actually do anything about it

Volume:

not loud, just some grunts and some quiet moans

Wild:

he gets really into it whenever he's really, like REALLY horny. The domination can be pretty intense whenever he's so horny he can't contain himself.

Xray:

7 inch, little slim, the shaft color is the same as his skin but the tip has a more pinkish hue to it. he also has a horizontal black stripe on the shaft

Yearning:

it's normal. he has a low sex drive when he's stressed about not being able to kill targets, but the moment he's free and not having to do anything he gets real horny.

Zzz:

he doesn't go to sleep right away, but he does get a little tired. whenever he sees you sleeping then he'll just lay down and close his eyes.

[sandyferal]

I genuinely think Tootie’s behavior towards Timmy would improve dramatically like. The second Vicky moves out of the family house. It’s clear that Vicky is severely inhibiting Tootie’s ability to have friends, much less have them come over and spend time with her. And it feels likely that the main reason her crush turned into an obsession is because Timmy had shown himself to be the only person willing to be nice to her. It doesn’t justify the way she acted, but let’s be real it’s not like she has good role models to teach her better.

I feel like once Vicky isn’t around to ruin her social life she’ll be able to have other friends over and like, have someone around to seek comfort in that isn’t her crush. She could actually start growing as a person. Which could happen as soon as like, 1-3 years after the events of the show?

I also really like the idea that even if she isn’t obsessed with Timmy, that Crimson Chin doll he gave her holds a special place in her heart because like. As a sentimental person I gotta be real something like that would never not be sweet to me. I’d thinking about it for years.

And I like to think because of that she eventually got into comics and began to obsess over those instead. Maybe Crimson Chin wasn’t her thing! But she seems to enjoy fantasies and I think it would be so fun to see her find her own interests. If we’re getting into specifics, I get the vibes that she would be into comics following heroes like Superman, or when villainesses get their own comics like Harley or Poison Ivy. Obviously not those exact characters but those are the vibes I get. Not to say I don’t think she wouldn’t still have girly interests and love romance and stuff but man.

Additionally. I fucking hate Tootie from the live action movies. They glorify her as hot and morally perfect while simultaneously treating how she was as a child as weird and ugly. Man people grow up and sometimes get less weird but like some people are just dorks. Tootie is a dork. Keep her as an overenthusiastic, emotional, glasses-wearing, strong-willed dork. You cowards. Women don’t need to be “perfect” to be accepted and loved.

If Tootie and Timmy did eventually get together, personally I think it would be good if Timmy just. Didn’t see her for a while. She gets more into spending time with actual friends, and doesn’t talk to Timmy as much until they meet up again a couple years later at an afterschool comic club/comic con, or something of that sort. I think she deserves to be her own person before she actually ends up with anyone.

And while I normally don’t like “ships” (I say that in quotes bc I don’t particularly feel compelled to ship these children at all) that involves a party who clearly isn’t interested… they’re also. Children. It’s not that serious. They really shouldn’t be together at this age anyway, and they probably will change as they get older.

It doesn’t feel that big of a deal to imagine Tootie and Timmy might be together as adults despite their current dynamic, because the main issues are:

a) Tootie doesn’t respect boundaries and is emotionally unstable, which are both likely caused by isolation, lack of good role models, and being too young to understand things. Very likely she grows out of it.

b) Timmy not liking her. Which, in the context of the early episodes about her, is actually something you could debate?

To clarify, he obviously isn’t interested in a romantic relationship most of the time, but at the same time he clearly has some care for her. The argument could be made that it is because of his fairies influencing him, yes, or it’s just pity. But like. There are episodes where he legit just does something because he wants her to be happy. And he indicates he doesn’t really dislike her or hate spending time with her. He, at least in theory, is actually willing to spend time with her. (“I would’ve gone to her dumb party if she’d invited me.”) That’s not even mentioning how he. Like. Just straight up chose to stick himself with a love arrow because he wanted to enjoy spending a Valentine’s Day with her. Which is a whole thing that could be analyzed but not the point.

If anything his actions point to a young boy who at the moment, only feels attraction through the lense of someone being “pretty” instead of someone they can genuinely get along with. He sees Tootie as weird and embodying the qualities boys find “icky” in girls. It would make sense if he grew out of that.

Although at the end of the day I don’t really care who these kids end up with, I JUST want Tootie to be able to have a happy and healthy social life/relationship with a partner when she grows up, and I hate the idea of completely stripping away her “not pretty” qualities before she’s allowed to have that. She’s a fucking lovely little girl who deserves to be herself, and to be weird, and to be happy. That’s my fucking daughter!!! I love her so much!!!

[howlsofbloodhounds]

I don't wanna bother you too much but there's ANOTHER thing—

Killer being Nightmares first recruit and the right hand man. All of this is just worse if Nightmare treats Killer like a tool or a puppet.. killer doesn't need a lot of help, it's enough he gets something new because other than that he's just. So used to this. So it's fine, he survives

But then Dust perhaps becomes the second recruit and Nightmare notices that bitch needs help, and so he starts finding ways to help Dust so he can work more efficiently, but in the process of that he grows attached. This happens with all the others, and he just ends up caring for them and stuff, yk like Nightmare getting character development and it becomes a family. But they bully Killer bc ya they bully killer..

So Killer was live witness to everything around him just. Like he's witnessed the worst of Nightmare but then Nightmares there starting to care, and it's all so nice and it's so sweet how everyone is healing and he's just not a part of it.

Another case may be Nightmare never breaking out of old habit of treating Killer like a mere toy, a replaceable one for that. And also maybe the others just learn to treat Killer like shit because of that. But also Killers annoying and messes everything up and everything so it's justified, it's fine. It's fine. ...it's fine......... right...?

It’s been like 4 days since this was sent. Im sorry anon, but i promise you aren’t bothering me 🙏.

But honestly yeah i can completely see something like this—like a form of targeting, singling out. And it’s made worse if a figure of authority, Nightmare, is setting this example—intentionally/knowingly or not—and others follow along, either wanting approval or to fit in at first, and then eventually it becomes normal the more people join in or otherwise don’t stop it.

That type of group thinking mob mentality can lead to dehumanization/objectification, which makes it easier to escalate to abusive or even downright torturous actions and behaviors. I can think of a real life example of a situation similar to it, even.

And in this type of Bad Sans “family,” i honestly think killer would be better off escaping before it escalates to something even worse—such as one of them killing him, regardless of his ability to Reset. Stage 2 isn’t likely to care enough about himself or fear death or violence enough to try and leave, so being in Stage 1 (or potentially 3, although with more violence), is probably the only way he’d save himself or even consider leaving.

[brighteyedbushybrowed]

I was hoping you could do Secondo with a s/o who is kinda clingy and talks a lot, but he finds out it’s cause they are constantly talked over and left out of stuff

Secondo being the supportive partner we need and deserve tbh. I made the friend group in this one sound... kinda not nice?? Not bullies or anything like that, but more the kind of friends I've had experience with that I wouldn't want others to have to go through bc it makes you feel like you're invisible

It's something that he finds out pretty quickly after hanging out with you and your friends for the first time

Secondo is incredibly perceptive after all

You'd introduced him to your friend group because yall were gonna go out for a night on the town as it were

It all seemed normal at first. He had no reason to think anything was wrong

You'd always been clingy and very chatty with him, so you clinging to him wasn't out of the ordinary for him and it's something he appreciates in a partner after being used by so many for his power and influence

When you cling to him, it's because you adore him as a person and you have no ulterior motives

What first makes Secondo realise the way you get treated in your friend group is how un-chatty you become in comparison to when it's you and him

And how unphased by this your friends are as they carry on their conversations and having their drinks as if you're not even there

It becomes clear to him when you try to pipe up and everyone talks over you and ignores you mid-conversation that perhaps the reason you don't talk is because they don't let you

After that night, he vows to himself to observe how you are with them in other settings in case it was just a one off

Turns out that no, it was not a one off

You almost shrink in on yourself when you're with your friends and he fucking hates it

So he does the one thing he thinks to do before anything else: he inserts himself in conversations

If he thinks you've got something to say, he'll interject and state his opinion then ask you what you think in a way that makes it very obvious that he wants to hear your opinion and not anyone else's

When someone talks over you, he pointedly clears his throat and then gestures for you to speak up

If they continue to ignore you and talk over you, that's when he starts getting angry

He will call out every single one of your friends for their treatment of you and how much of a polar opposite you are with him in comparison to them

And when he finds out that they've been purposely leaving you out of hang outs and activities?

They will live to regret that

He will give them a dressing down and demand that they treat you far better or stop stringing you along because it's not fair for you to be made to feel so invisible by people who are meant to care about you and value you as a human being

He's your biggest supporter. He fights in your corner. He advocates for you, your opinions, your thoughts, who you are as a person

And he makes it abundantly clear that they need to take a good long look at themselves if they've been deliberately leaving you out and talking over you

Secondo will apologise in private for letting his temper go like that because he doesn't want to make life hard for you

But fuck, he can't watch you become this quiet mouse of a person because of their behaviour and treatment of you when he's seen how chatty and wonderful you are

He jokes that "nobody puts my baby in the corner" and will put music from Dirty Dancing on to get you giggling while he tries to get you to dance with him

If you do stay friends with them and they do genuinely change for the better, he's going to make sure to remind you the first few times you hang out with them alone that your voice and your opinion are just as valuable as theirs and he doesn't want you to extinguish your flame for anyone

If they don't change, I like to think that Secondo would do whatever he can to make you truly see your worth and realise that you deserve to be treated far better. He won't force you to not be friends with them because he's not an asshole, but he does remind you of your worth and that there are going to be people in your life who value you and will treat you the way you deserve to be treated

[lezabeththetheodoraimposter]

“no one can know I can tell what people will manifest as!!” why not? ability detecting is basically torture. u could save sooo many elves so much wasted time. and just how do u think the neverseen will use this against u?? it’s literally useless to them. but it is useful to the elves. like SUPER useful. people can spend their whole lives training w their abilities before they even manifest. like omg keefe cmon

edit (I put this in a reblog but don’t feel like reexplaining it so I’m putting it here)

I get what ur saying about Keefe not wanting the council to exploit him and that having all those ppl go to him but I really think that’s the only good reason which is still a very good one bc it’s about what HE wants (but also think of terik who did it for a bit then stopped but occasionally does it for some people) tbh the only good reasons are Keefe just not wanting to and that’s fair. but honestly I’m talking about the use of the ability and how in the grand scheme and when Keefe is in a better mental place that it can be SOOOOOO useful and like when he’s past all this and is happy and healthy then I would say he should tell ppl about it even if he doesn’t open up to “readings”

with a ability training thing that was one of my main points (tho I did put it in the tags and those go away when u reblog 😒) but ability training is literally TORTURE. like they put these like 11 year old kids in burning hot rooms for hours hoping to trigger a froster… like that’s soooo unethical idk what the councils reasoning for that is. it’s literal child abuse and I’m not even kidding. its brushed off but omg wtf. and imagine going through all that only to discover you were talentless and all that was for nothing. like that would suck

and for the talentless. keefe not wanting to tell ppl they are talentless is a very valid and good reason, but aside from that I think his talent would be more helpful. bc it would give talentless ppl more time to grow up and adjust to the predugist (hate bc I can’t spell 😭) against the talentless. bc even though they would have to deal w it from birth, isn’t that better than living a normal life w friends then BAM one day ur talentless and all of ur friends stop hanging out w u. like ur WHOLE world would be flipped and it’s better to give the talentless more time to adjust to it imo.

also the schooling thing u meantioned is another reason knowing ur talentless form the start would be helpful. BECAUSE THE TALENTLESS ARE PULLED OUT IF FOXFIRE WHICH IS SOOOOO MESSED UPP. like they go to foxfire for like 3 years then the council is like “haha no ability? sucks for u lol! go off to a different school where u know no one and make different friends yk just forget ur whole life up to now haha” like WTF. (honestly the bigger problem here is how the talentless are treated but we already know that has to change so this is about how keefe can help).

also it could give “bad match” couples where one of them is talentless (like Kesler and juline) comfort to know their kid isn’t talentless. And if their kid is talentless then it saves them years from worrying over it and the suspense of it all. Also I just think knowing ur ability from childhood and being able to train for it before u even manifested would be soooo helpful

but in the end of the day yeah, keefe just not wanting to is the biggest thing. and I might be remembering incorrectly bc I haven’t read the book in forever but I remember something about keefe thinking he accidentally triggered the triplets abilities which would be more problematic but idk if I’m remembering it wrong. but I do think like years after kotlc ends (or when ever he feels ready) keefe should defo start using his ability for good. like it doesn’t have to be everybody. it can just be kids of q talentless parent(s) to help their parents out yk bc if two telepaths have a kid then it’s obvi going to be a telepath u don’t need keefe to tell u that

also the main point of the pre-editted post was about how he doesn’t want the NEVERSEEN to know bc he thinks they might be able to use it against his friends. like how. literally how? what use is it going to do them.

[cabin10diaries]

im so im so. obsessed with jason but specifically what other people think of him

reyna oh my beloved reyna <333 she knew him the best of everyone and then he disappeared, came back brand new? new friends, new girl, new person, and shes glad he's happy but where did HER jason go ? the one she trained with, spent years getting close with, spending all her time with? he was taken from her, and as happy as she is for the new jason he can never fill her heart the same

piper my lovely was basically coerced into a relationship built on false narratives with him, and she broke up bc that wasnt right !! what were they now? ofc, they were friends, but the tension of fake memories and fading feelings was still effective. it was so hard to talk to him but she wanted it to be easy again like in her fake memories

leo (this is valgraced bc im a valgrace truther ok?) hated him but loved him as a friend and more. jason was what leo wanted to be; respected, smart, listened to, not seeming like a burden. he wanted that so bad, which made him want jason, too. stuck between do i want my best friends boy or do i want to kill him and take his place? he was soo jealous but guilty of the jealousy bc it wasnt like it was jasons fault the way ppl treated the two differently. and jason was the same to leo, he wanted leos humor and be able to make a room laugh instead of having them glare at him for being to stern, even tho thats what he had been taught to do. they found a unique bond with each other by wanting aspects of each other while liking the parts they didnt want to be

cohort5/new rome [bar hazel and frank] etc looked up to him so much. he was their role model, their leader, their voice of reason, the person to turn to, THE guy. they basically idolized and dehumanized him to nothing but the boy who was raised to lead them, especially bc he was the son of jupiter. the first in so long, ofc he was important and special, why treat him like normal ?

percy ,,, he respected jason eventually. they clashed but they learned how to work through the clashing and fight alongside each other instead of against each other. they had similar yet dif personalities, percy fighting to be listened to while jason had been forced to speak. both leaders, respected, treated like leaders but in dif ways bc of the way their social groups functioned. they both wanted what each other had; percy wanted the stability of new rome, knowing he'd have people that would come back alive every summer. jason wanted the close bonds of camp halfblood without being put into a heavy spotlight

thalia loved him. he was her younger brother, how could she not? she pitied him, tho, from the way he lived in new rome. she knew the life well, being thrown into the spotlight and everything bc she herself was a daughter of zeus (like how chiron and camp treated her, esp if u compare it with how they treated percy after she came back) and hoped he would find a place better. her arms were always open for him but she had another life she wanted to live, too

octavian. pure hatred and jealousy. jason was everything he wanted. he was in leader positions, respected, listened to. octavian thought of him similarly to leo, but without the good bond. he despised jason because he wanted everything jason got just for being born from jupiter. it was unfair, and octavian decided to take advantage when jason disappeared. he wouldnt have another chance to take the spots that belonged to him

nico grew fond of him. he couldnt not have, esp after how jason treated him after the cupid incident. immediately showing his trust, backing him up, etc etc, it was finally someone nico could trust and talk to after years of running from camp and monsters and guilt of dead sisters and tense/awkward friend?ship with his very happily taken crush. nico found someone he could depend on, even if he didnt want to

beryl damn. she had some love for him. deep down, she knew she did, he was her son. but she couldnt focus on him, she had her life to take. her downfall started with thalia and zeus, jason made it worse. even if he was her son, the little love she had for him was so hard to find. too hard to even try. so, she left him, maybe hoping for a better life for him, or wanting to get rid of him. she knew both reasons were true

hedge isnt too talked about in general but he loved jason okay. the son he never had, before chuck. he was him and leos and pipers protector, and he would lay down his life for any of the three. they were his children, even if he no longer talks to them, theyll hold the spot in his heart

hazel and frank and annabeth had similar thoughts about jason. none were really close; hazel and frank looked up to jason like the rest of new rome, but could see him as a person because they actually talked to him. they thought positively about jason, he was friends with all three. even if they werent as close as tlh trio, they still liked jason. how could you not, after a war stuck with them? they think of jason like one does with a friend who used to be close, but grew apart simply because of time. they like him, but theyre not close

hera oh !! he was her son. he was her champion. he was hers, even if he was caused by the reoccuring infidelity of her husband. he was her champion and she loved him like a son. she had a genuine bond with him, one thats hard to form with a god and mortal/demigod. she was the better beryl, and him the better heracles

lesterpollo. he thinks of jason so. much. i firmly believe jason was a big big big part in lester changing, i mean, watching someone know they were going to die and WILLINGLY go into the situation? he had nothing but respect and admiration towards jason. jason was like a mentor to him, showing and reminding him of the right thing to do

[horizon-verizon]

Viserys loved Alicent more than he ever loved Aemma. He loved her so much that he always saw the best of her. Offended Corlys Velaryon, the wealthiest man in the Seven Kingdoms, in order to marry her. Closed his eyes when Alicent abused and mocked his “favorite child”, and spread destructive rumours about her. Viserys clearly states in F&B he married once for duty so with Alicent he would marry for love. Alicent was the love of his life, otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to get away with going openly against her husband’s heir.

*EDITED POST* (4/13/24)

Response to this post? Or more likely this one by lady-corinne I reblogged.

Yes and no, he seemed to love her, but I don't know about it being the pure & unbending sort of love and favor you're trying to make it be. a lot of this will be diving into his head.

A)

Yes, Alicent is described as a "lovely" and "clever" girl at 18, committed to the Faith, and could be actually funny without meaning to be if it weren't unfortunately applied in sexist or cruel jabs--she definitely has her merits that would be considered desirable in this social landscape and outside of such conditions. To some people. Yes, his marriage to Aemma was arranged while he chose Alicent.

But I think you're forgetting that this is a man who is both invested in not being the one to muck up the trend of Targ prosperity after his grandfather ushered it in while being better suited to being just a normal prince but refusing to really fix the mistakes or put his foot down when he really needed to, or choosing to be stubborn about the wrong things (Rhaenyra's marriage)

AND:

he saw through her attempts to get Rhaenyra & Aegon to marry, so he wasn't willing to compromise Rhaenyra's claim for her pleasure nor her & the Hightowers' ambitions…and Alicent's ambitions are pretty much her first priority, aside from her kids' lives --- he dismisses her father when Otto persists in trying to get him to name Aegon as his heir, and with Alicent having been doing the same, he knew she'd be upset by that -- this was him protecting Rhaenyra's rights and not giving in to his wife's desires…so…

he went on impregnating both woman several times, by quick succession. He actually treats Alicent similarly to Aemma in this way. It's just that Alicent was older and "fertile" to be lucky enough to not die.

despite being the daughter of the 2nd son, Alicent's family is also very rich and influential, and the Hightowers have the cultural prestige of being those who "patronise" the Citadel, as well as their historical connections to the Faith (some members became High Septons)...the Hightowers still stood to gain more prestige on the advent of one of their own rising to become Queen Consort, esp when she is a closer relation to the lord--being his niece and the Hand his brother--vice versa, the Hightowers could have supplied a sizeable number of soldiers and supplies to Viserys and did for the greens during the war through said influence and power, esp getting their smaller bannerman Reachmen houses to join. More money and preventing bad relations/a possible rivalry with such a strong house. Useful ally/alliance.

The Faith has a pull on the minds and hearts of the overall populace, noble or common, too. With Alicent's family neck deep in the Faith PLUS the Targs already having dodgy relations with the Faith even w/the Doctrine bc incest=bad in the Faith religion, it's very possible that Viserys saw an opportunity in marrying Alicent to appease AND solidify Faith-adherents' loyalty to the Targ dynasty through such a marriage. Of course, ambition or politics don't always discount true affection of love, but Alicent likely wasn't just chosen for her beauty or how well they clicked.

Alicent was chosen under the pressures of his daughter being his only heir and wanting to allay/appease his council and the realm's concern with "backup" children. In a way, he felt his options were more limited.

Alicent was 18 to Laena's 12 at the time of the considering who'd he marry (after having impregnated his 13 yr old 1st wife and finally losing her to childbirth bc her body simply gave out from multiple failed pregnancies and harsh deliveries, he'd probably want to avoid both the pressures of impregnating another girl towards her death even if her parent gave the go-ahead AND the putting himself into that sort of situation of guilt and reliving those bad memories?) It's possible that Viserys saw in Alicent an opportunity to enjoy his own sexual pleasure and sexuality without worrying too much about potentially killing his bride, esp after their first two kids. How much that could that affect or twist one's affections for another person, idk.

What Viserys really did was to try to maintain a balance between his wife & his daughter, because he just inherently hated conflicts, had already married Alicent (so he didn't know she'd be so persistent), loved her AND Rhaenyra was his miracle child from the woman he probably feels very guilty about:

[A Question of Succession]:

Rhaenyra was both his first child AND the only child to survive from his first marriage. She "made" him a father by surviving. She came from the marriage that made him into a husband. And evidenced by the text [in section B], the trio's life together was very happy despite the pressure of the heir-making and grief when others died. Which is part of why Rhaenyra is, in the narrative sense, called the "Realm's Delight": if the monarch is happy, usually they're performing better but also her existence in the overall narrative of the Targ succession could have been seen as suggestive of the dynasty not dying out to those in-world. Like she's "proof" of that.

However, AllegedlyLola on TikTok exolains how he really pedestalizes Aemma when they talke about HotD!Viserys (much can the same shoudl be said for his book version):

he says he loved Aemma, that he will always love her, etc. and pedestalizes Aemma to the degree that Rhaenrya could never be Baelon, her siblings can never be her, and all to never really give us a real picture of who Aemma was so he does not have to divulge how some of his actions have ruined Aemma's life. Helaena not having kids or at least stop having them before Rhaenrya becomes Queen/he dies would have even helped Rhaenyra...smh. He doesn't ever think to not let his daughter Helaena marry at 13 & have TWINS not long after (as Aemma died in part bc she started having children WAY too early after they consummated their marriage); he forces his daughter to marry Laenor to fix a problem he created instead of actually thinking about what would be better for her claim and position--which is not to marry a gay man!, esp when everyone knows he is gay; I mention Alicent already...this is the same guy who marries a 15 year old but gets angry with Daemon for seducing his 19 year old daughter and saying she is just a "girl"...bro...Add on the fact he allowed a faction against his heir and be lead by his second obviously hostile Hand & wife exist in court instead of properly intervening and diminishing Otto and Alicent's influence over Rhaenrya so she wouldn't have to escape to Dragonstone...no self reflection, just constant deflection, ignoring, placating the wrong people, putting his foot down at the wrong moments, not pursuing certain avenues or voids of information like in the Vhagar claim incident AND allowed the same thing that happens to his first wife happen to his next wife and his two daughters...ugh.

With all this, he maybe felt that his status, position, and elevating Alicent to Queen Consort was enough to carry their relationship and any romantic bond they had. But it's also not likely he'd be totally self-blind (just denying to himself) to the possibility that her admiration & attraction partially came from those things. He's king after all, and apparently, it's a dream for noble girls to become a Queen. So while it's more than likely that he loved Alicent, it's negligible.

Unfortunately for him, he didn't count for a wife who was so traditional and ruthless (the last is a compliment on its own, but combined with the first, ew) , one who seemed to have a strong will of her own.

So it's not that he loved Alicent, he just wanted his cake and eat it, too. Be seen and perceived as a good king, maintain the leftover wealth & picture of generosity/prosperity and "wisdom" Jaehaerys basically left for him, while he really didn't know what to do with his own family and emotions half the time because he never accepted and took responsibility for how he contributed to Aemma's death by continuing to impregnate her (book & show) AND then cutting her open without her consent or informing to extract the son he put above all logic or sense. By doing too much appeasing to get people to like him or feel they have an "in" with him (which people like him can mistake as "liking" or respect) while isolating those who could have only made him stronger through honest loyalty and candor, telling him like it is while keeping that measure of observation (talking about not just Rhaenyra but Dameon here). But Viserys never wanted honesty! He wanted the fantasy of power.

B)

People assume that Viserys didn't love Aemma or loved her less because he impregnated her way too young and way too many times. And because we don't get the word "love" between them. And because they believe that there had to be some truth in the rumors of Alicent hanging around Viserys before Aemma died, thus clueing in on the possibility that he wasn't so devoted to Aemma as to be taken in by Alicent while she was literally suffering. All of these are valid deductions.

However, as I will argue, I think that it wasn't so much a matter of love for love's sake as he could "start over" & not have to be encumbered by the worries of a too-young wife's ability to survive pregnancy & childbirth. Of course, he'd have some attraction in the beginning, but the anticipated relief would be a great motivator towards Alicent.

Plus, the impression R&B gives us of his life with Aemma and Rhaenyra was a very happy one, despite the pressure of producing an heir.

[A Question of Succession]:

C)

You: "Offended Corlys Velaryon, the wealthiest man in the Seven Kingdoms, in order to marry her."

As for Corlys Velaryon, again, I think that he was banking on their closer blood ties, crossed lineage, shared historical heritage, & his own position as Corlys' king/superior to deter Corlys from really opposing him or being a huge problem. Which, ironically, he was correct about...if that was his thought process. again, we don't know.

Though Corlys was obviously upset and it did sour their relations, there wasn't really a real danger of Corlys openly rebelling, esp with the possibility that Rhaenys (a Targaryen princess who still values her maiden family but also would be thinking how young their kids are and how meaninglessly destructive such a thing would be for everyone involved [her discouraging war in HotD doesn't make sense though, bc the greens were always hellbent on war 7 they were the ones looking for it AND Aegon truly stole the throne, whereas Viserys is free-er tomarry whoever he wishes]) was at his ear discouraging him from that. Corlys was not losing anything material or essential thing here, a need, when Viserys denied marrying Laena.

To me, Viserys considered for a long time marrying off Rhaenyra to Corlys' Laenor at least in the smallest part of his mind and it didn't become a solid intentional thought until Rhaenyra got older. He sent her off on that faux kinds but not really suitor tour (kind not really bc its not like it is in HotD), and whatever incident with Dameon happened convinced him to finally force her to marry Laenor. Oh look, how convenient for him that it also retied Corlys to them after his own decision to not marry Laena...

Though I do feel almost bad for Viserys here. On the one hand, it's politically advantageous to marry the daughter of the man who has a fleet of ships to his name AND that girl being the daughter of a dragonriding mother [assurance that the kids would also be riders]. But the gir is 12 & he'd have to wait to consummate and impregnate her...and clock's ticking. Plus she's a child even to them. And if he had married Laena, there's no way Corlys would have kept quiet or not pressed even harder for Laena's son to be named Viserys' heir, and if Viserys insisted they'd probably have the Dance earlier. Or just a war without dragons. On the other hand, Alicent is much older BUT she comes from the Tower and was very adamant about "males-first" primogeniture...still, he couldn't have had his own official tour?

But then I remember his refusal to really have accountability while having the audacity to direct his own daughter and heir into a more vulnerable position...

D)

You: "Closed his eyes when Alicent abused and mocked his “favorite child”, and spread destructive rumours about her."

Again, he saw through his intentions about the marriage at least, and we see his intention is to not encourage the thing Alicent wants most: Aegon's being named heir or having most of the power.

["A Question of Succession]:

Thus showing he had a kernel but very real and substantial kernel of distrust of Alicent that existed & grew before that moment.

.........

Option ONE: It's coul be more don't think that Viserys actually was aware of how deep Alicent's hatred for Rhaenyra ran or that the rumors either existed or that Alicent was the source, acting with malicious intent, because:

Alicent's faith devotion can lend the idea of her being morally righteous or at least "conscientious" of duty and giving "respect" to the hierarchy and her spreading those rumors to deliberately harm Rhaenyra, her stepdaughter, is too direct and contradictory to his explicit will for Rhaenyra to become his heir -- would Alicent really dare to hate his kid? He'd probs fool himself.

AND he likely believed that Alicent wasn't ruthless or daring enough to actually try to kill or seriously harm Rhaenyra after he died, because he would think Alicent valued her kids' sibling relationship w/Rhaenyra above her own want for power AND the socio-religious taboo against kinslaying, besides thinking/hoping she would love his memory enough to not do so

OR especially with how he and Daemon were relatively close after the loss of Baelon, he banked on the assumption that family would eventually come first. Again, that passive deterrent pattern.

Option TWO: Or/and it was way too late for him to have take-backsies or regret marrying Alicent. Sure he could put aside Alicent, kings can do that and have. Except then he'd offend the Hightowers and the Faith worse than anything he could have the Velaryons or Corlys. Again, the Faith-Hightower ties. Huge scandal and a mark against his house/his own reputation. He'd want to avoid all that. And he'd be endangering his "investment" in putting Alicent aside. Plus, they already had kids Alicent/Otto/the Hightowers could use, so Viserys may have "decided" on continuous "damage control", as he tried by making his youngest son Daeron and Jace have the same wetnurse and force his sons and grandsons to be in the same room together as to improve their relationships...which we know actually just made things worse. and again, I think he was hoping/"sure" that Alicent wouldn't bar Rhaenyra from her ascendance.

In response to Jaehaerys being known as the conciliator and managing to keep the dynasty on "track" for a long time, Viserys though that it is enough to appease by putting out an image of generosity (prosperity) and showing himself as actively listening to his councilors, letting them win the most battle of wills so they feel as if he's not a force they need to "put down" or rebel against. But Viserys unfortunately didn't seem to inherit a steady will.

So he does what he usually does when the politics have gone awry & off-balance for him--he instead tries to get the two women he loves to reconcile while not addressing the true meat of the issue or closing his eyes to deny the reality. And I can't totally blame him like I feel I can do with Jaehaerys or Aenys, he inherited the amplified issues with the Faith or/and primogeniture they created or perpetuated.

[HEADCANON TERRITORY] If we really want to get dark, maybe in his subconscious he's trying to avoid that case where he'd have to reconcile himself with the fact that his wife continued to put power before him or didn't leaned away from his hopes for a devoted partner -- that he brought that in. Viserys is the sort of person--ruler?--who finds comfort in denial more than facing the facts or exploring his options when he's out of his depth, which is why he's so obviously different from Daemon, why they don't really agree a lot of the time even though they love each other. Perhaps the feasts and dances were his way of distraction AND a way he could enjoy his family's company without having politics color his relationships.

While it's still very possible he continued to love Alicent and/or look to her for companionship, it's also inevitable that all this put a strain on their relationship that would only get worse (evidenced by Alicent deliberately and ruthlessly leaving out his body to rot for days to plan against Rhaenyra). Before then, he likely would have sensed that shift and can we really say that he felt all that pleasant towards her for us to think their/his love survived that strain when they got together in conditions where Alicent became more invested in the relationship more for the politics and status (an assumption I know and even if true, it isn't bad. But doesn't match his own entirely) and when her desire to have Aegon on the throne was denied, things irrevocably soured for them?

I feel that for Viserys to love someone, he needs to observe that they desire or approve of his presence. Otherwise, his interest or love starts to die. Or maybe not--maybe he clings? But who knows, I could be talking out of my ass. After all, we don't have journal entries for this last part I mention. But I think this would be very interesting to read...

Speaking of, wouldn't it have been awesome if we got those from various characters instead of just recorded declarations and anecdotes and testimonies?!! Like Dracula. Maybe, if he ever gets to it (probably won't) GRRM will look into that for Fire and Blood V2?!

[out of headcanon valley]

So...

I'm not saying he didn't love Alicent, never loved her, or that there was no chance or possibility that he hadn't become attracted to her before they married.

There are strong enough arguments for why we don't need to think that he loved her "more" than Aemma and that it was a bit more complicated. While the Velaryons were rich, prestigious, and culturally and by-blood closer, it's the Faith-tie, age-of-candidates, Otto's physical and constant proximity, and Viserys' loneliness or guilt that maybe put the Hightowers ahead. And from there, Viserys was trying to keep the chariot on heel.

After all my points, too, I tend to think of it more like Alicent was Viserys' second chance to "get marriage right" and have unencumbered love, be unconstrained in that area. It's also why he might have been more affectionate than some wanted or expected from him.

[auroralix]

✩ fairly odd christmas - part 1 ✩

read parts two and three here!

pairing: chanlix. everything on this account is chanlix.

summary: single and lonely on christmas, felix makes an offhand wish to have someone to love. the man who appears in his kitchen the next morning to make that wish come true is the last thing he expects.

song: fictional ~ khloe rose

this section’s word count: 4.2k

warnings: uhhhhhhh i don’t think there are many ?? some vEry light swearing, felix is already lowkey thirsting for chan’s ass bc aren’t we all, this is so sappy lovey dovey i love them, mentions of getting murdered bc felix thinks chan is an intruder at first, felix also tries to use a pen as a weapon, why am i treating this like ao3 tags

small a/n: welcome to my first fruity series! i’m still in the process of writing and polishing this but i had to post it before it became too long after christmas lol. everything should be posted by new year’s (: also forever big thanks to @awooghan for the fic title ilysm and thank you to both her and @ujimoo for beta reading and giving input ilyb 🫶

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Felix trudged into his apartment, closing the door behind himself and slumping against it. He got dumped again, and right before Christmas. It shouldn’t have surprised him but every time he hopes this time it might be the One. The one and only he couldn’t live without.

He made his way to the kitchen and opened the freezer, pulling out a tub of ice cream and a spoon. It wasn’t the most glamorous way to spend his night but he was past caring at this point.

After securing his ice cream, Felix crashed on the couch in his living room and turned on the tv. It was time to nurse his emotional wounds with any one of his favorite movies. He had a secret soft spot on his heart for sappier, more cliche movies; those normally seen as “girly.” He couldn’t help it, maybe it was the consequence of living with his sisters until he moved out after college.

Felix had always loved the idea of finding that one person who he loved more than anything else and that would love him back just as much. The books he read and movies he watched did nothing to help those notions; he was the notorious hopeless romantic in his friend group and had been since he was young.

It wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t help that the men in his books and movies were miles better than anyone he’d met in real life. He’d dated multiple people, men and women, and yet nobody ever compared to the people in his stories that lived day and night in his brain. It wasn’t that most of them were bad people (although he’d had his fair share of bad dates), it was just that none of them could give Felix half the amount of love he gave them.

When Felix loved someone, he jumped all in with both feet, not caring what may come. He knew he was being naïve about it, but he couldn’t help that either; it was just in his personality to love wholly and completely and to give as much of himself as he could to the other person. It led to him getting his heart stomped on more than once, like it had tonight.

He’d heard yet again that he was sweet and nice and everything else, but he just wasn’t what his date was looking for. Felix had nodded and smiled and taken it well, dragging himself out of the restaurant to walk home.

Of course it was just his luck that it started raining on his way. And of course it was his luck that he didn’t have anyone to be cliche in the rain with at that moment, under the bright city lights that were decked out in full Christmas decor. It was like the world loved to taunt him by dangling something he wanted desperately right in front of his face. So he had shuffled home through the cold, sludgy rain as quickly as he could, which was how he ended up where he was now.

Curled under a blanket and nursing a tub of melting ice cream while he dreamed about a love he’d probably never see. He just wanted someone that would love him as much as he loved them, was that too much to ask for?

Felix set the nearly empty ice cream tub on the coffee table in front of him and tucked his feet under himself, moving to lie on his side as he watched his movie. Before long, without him even realizing it, Felix was drifting off to sleep on the couch, sending a half asleep wish to the powers that be for a Christmas miracle– someone he could love unconditionally.

•••

Felix blinked his eyes open blearily, adjusting to the blinding sunlight streaming in through his curtains. He rolled onto his side, belatedly realizing he was in his bed, not on the couch as he had been when he fell asleep the night before.

He frowned a little to himself. He was sure he’d fallen asleep on the couch, but maybe he’d woken up long enough to drag himself into his room for the rest of the night.

He stretched his arms above his head and yawned before slowly hauling himself out of bed and trudging to clean up in the bathroom, not giving it a second thought.

When he was finished with his morning routine, Felix waddled out of his room and to the kitchen. He stilled just a second when he walked through the small living room, his mostly empty bucket of ice cream was gone. That made him pause, he knew he didn’t pick it up the night before. Maybe one of his friends randomly came over and threw it out, he rationalized to himself as he turned toward the kitchen.

His kitchen, that was currently occupied by another man that Felix didn’t know. Felix stopped right in his tracks at the sight of the intruder, heart rate immediately going through the roof.

“Who are you?!” he screeched at the man who looked up in surprise from whatever he was doing at the counter. Felix immediately started looking for something, anything to defend himself with.

The other man slowly put his hands up to show he meant no ill will. “I-I’m not here to hurt you, I promise.”

The kitchen knife in one of his hands gave Felix no confidence that what he said was true.

In another situation, Felix would be swooning at the sight and sound of the other man, but right now, he just wanted answers. He grabbed a nearby pen, his only weapon of defense against the mystery intruder and his kitchen knife.

“Who are you?! Why are you here?!” Felix asked again, his panic growing as he held the pen up, like it’d do anything against the impressive muscles on the other man.

“I’m not here to hurt you,” the other man started, lowering one hand to put the knife down as he spoke. “I- I was sent here, for… for you.”

Felix choked on a scoff as he shook his head. “You actually expect me to believe that? What the fuck do you want from me? Why are you here?!”

The other man blinked a couple times and looked like he was trying to think over the best way to answer Felix’s questions. “I-… I don’t know how to explain it. Um, y-you made a wish last night and brought me here. I’d never hurt you though, I promise.”

That stopped Felix dead in his defensive rampage. Yes, he had made a wish to the nonexistent Christmas fairies as he was falling asleep, but he didn’t expect anything to come from it. Much less it being answered with a random hot man deposited in his kitchen. He didn’t even know how it could’ve been answered.

Despite what the man in his kitchen said, Felix couldn’t and wouldn’t just trust whatever the he said. Not without substantial evidence of his claims or some very good persuading.

“How do I know I can trust you or- or that you won’t hurt me? You showed up in the middle of the night out of literally nowhere and- and started acting like you own the place! You’re- you’re just here! In my kitchen and eating my food!” Felix spit out, keeping his pen held high as he questioned the other man. “You haven’t even told me your name!”

“It’s, um, it’s Chan,” the man gulped nervously. “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but please, just hear me out. The reason I’m here is I’m a spirit of Christmas, here to answer your wish.”

Felix could do nothing but gawk at the man in disbelief. Surely he’d misheard? He must still be dreaming, there was no other explanation. It was just a dream that Felix’s lovesick brain had conjured up to make him feel worse when he woke up and saw it indeed wasn’t real.

“Y-You- you’re a what?” he sputtered, at a loss for all other words.

Chan just nodded his head slowly. “It’s true, I’m a spirit of Christmas. We go around this time of year spreading love and joy and sometimes we answer Christmas wishes. I- I heard your wish last night as you were falling asleep and I had to answer; I’d never heard such a sincere wish as yours.”

Felix took a shuddering breath. This man—Chan— had to be crazy. But, somehow he’d known about the wish half asleep Felix had sent into the ether the previous night. How had he known?

“If- if you’re a real Christmas spirit or whatever, then you must have some sort of powers, right?” he asked, deciding to put the whole thing to the test before he chose whether to listen to more of Chan’s story or call the police.

“I do, they’re not very powerful powers, but they get the job done, you know? I can show you if you’d like,” Chan said, giving Felix a hopeful little smile that brought out a pair of cute little dimples that definitely did nothing to Felix’s already racing pulse.

“Yes please. But nothing weird, okay?” Felix still did not loosen his grip on his pen. It may not do much if the other man tried to attack him, but he would go down swinging, if nothing else.

“I promise.” Chan gave him a quick wink before disappearing in a cloud of sparkles that looked like snow and reappeared in that same cloud of sparkles on the other side of the living room. He had stayed out of arm’s reach of Felix, which was appreciated.

“I can also fly, but it’s kind of impractical when nobody else on this planet can,” Chan mentioned like it was no big deal as his feet slowly lifted off the ground before he floated in Felix’s general direction, still staying out of his personal space bubble.

Felix couldn’t believe his eyes, or ears as he watched the man across the room from him. He could barely wrap his head around all that happened the past fifteen minutes.

“You- you’re- that was all true?” Felix was not having a good day with his words; although who could blame him? It’s not everyday he gets visited by beautiful Christmas spirits promising to fix his loveless life.

“Everything I told you is completely true. I’m here to make your Christmas wishes come to life.” Chan set his feet back on the floor, still a respectable amount of space away, a bright smile gracing his features once again.

Felix let out a small, disbelieving laugh and shook his head as he thought everything over. Either he was really going crazy, or there truly was a Christmas fairy in his living room offering to give him the best Christmas season he’d ever had. The spirit seemed to have no ill will and was admittedly one of the hottest people—beings?— Felix had ever seen.

With a shrug he decided that if this spirit was really out here to murder him, he would let him. At least he’d get murdered by a beautiful creature that, before now, were only thought to have existed in fiction. Felix would have a great death, but he really hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

Since there weren’t many downsides in his eyes, Felix thought it’d be fine to see where things went from here.

“Okay,” he said, releasing a deep breath. “As long as you don’t try and kill me, you can… grant my wish? How does that work?”

Chan chuckled, shrugging his broad shoulders just slightly. “Mostly, I’m here so you have someone to be with over Christmas. We’ll go on dates, you can take me to meet your friends, and I’ll take care of you the best I can this season.”

Felix considered the other’s words. It sounded too good to be true, but the hopeless romantic in him was screaming to give this a chance and see what would happen. He only had one question before he gave in completely.

“What do you get out of it?”

“For us spirits, trying to spread joy and happiness and granting wishes like this isn’t just what we do, it’s who we are. If your wish hadn’t called out to me as strongly as it did, I’d probably still be floating around, granting minor wishes to others without them even knowing it,” the spirit explained, a look of pure sincerity on his face as he spoke. “It’s something we do not for what we can get out of it, but for what we can give to others.”

If that didn’t sound like music to Felix’s ears. This wasn’t just some little thing, this was exactly what he wished for, dropped right in his lap. And Felix was a weak, weak man, especially when it came to other pretty men who offered to grant his wishes and take him on dates and be the perfect Christmas boyfriend.

“Okay,” he said again, “I guess let’s see where this goes.”

“You won’t be disappointed, Felix, I promise.” And there Chan was, smiling like it was his wish getting granted, not the other way around. His dimples were on full display, cheeks pushing his eyes into crescents, and right that moment, Felix knew he was already in deep trouble.

He blinked a couple times and forced his still racing heart to calm down a little lest it give out on him. Felix had more questions but before he could get one out, his stomach gave a loud growl, reminding him that it was time to eat. He laughed sheepishly and looked over at where Chan was still standing, looking none the wiser to the loud grumble that came from Felix’s stomach.

“What, um, what were you doing in the kitchen?” Felix asked as he meandered toward the kitchen. He’d finally put his makeshift pen weapon down and shook out his cramping fingers as he walked.

At his question, Chan perked up and hurried back to the kitchen to show Felix what he’d been working on.

“I- I knew me just… appearing like I did might have freaked you out, which it did, oops? But, I thought maybe making you food might help you calm down, so- so I was trying to make you pancakes,” Chan said with a tiny, sheepish smile crossing his face. “I didn’t really know what you liked, so I tried to find a bunch of different toppings.”

Felix hated to admit it but he couldn’t deny how his heart melted just a little at the gesture and hopeful expression on the other’s face. As he looked at the bowls of cut up fruit and chocolate chips scattered around a big batter bowl, he felt more and more sure that he’d made the right decision. This pancake-making spirit meant him no harm.

“Oh, Chan, this- this is actually really sweet.” Felix picked up a couple chips from one bowl and popped them into his mouth before adding, “Pancakes are always a nice touch, a surefire way to win over anyone who’s house you break into.”

At that, Chan’s eyes widened in concern, making him look more like a wounded puppy than a powerful being that could fly and teleport at will. Felix cringed internally, maybe 10 minutes into their—relationship? Was it a relationship? Could Felix call it that yet? He wasn’t sure— but maybe 10 minutes into their… thing was too early to break out the sarcasm.

“I’m sorry!” He hurried to correct himself, “That was a joke, a really bad one for right now. The pancakes are a really nice touch, end of sentence.”

“Do you mean it? I can just clean up if you don’t want any.” Chan still looked unsure and Felix felt like the worst person ever for making him feel bad.

“I promise,” Felix attempted to console the other. “I love pancakes and sweet things, you can ask any of my friends when you meet them.”

“If you’re sure then, I’ll start cooking them for you.” And just like that, the clouds lifted from Chan’s expression and he went back to his previously smiley self.

Chan promptly set back about his previous pancake mission focused, with one goal in mind. When Felix offered to help, Chan simply gave him disarmingly sweet smile and waved him off, stating he wanted to learn the kitchen for himself. It was no trouble really, and he was happy to do it, he wanted to do it, he reassured Felix and shooed him over to the living room to find a movie for them both to watch while they ate.

Felix wasn’t sure how he felt at first about being (albeit nicely) pushed out of his own kitchen. Although once he started smelling the delightful scent of fresh pancakes wafting his way, he decided he didn’t care quite as much. Plus, it wasn’t like he could’ve made anything better on his own. Felix was a phenomenal baker, but all of his attempts to make anything other than baked goods in the kitchen were far less than stellar at best.

He flopped on his couch and started scrolling through the list of movies he had saved, trying to find anything that didn’t scream “I’m very lonely and available and live out those feelings through the movies I watch, please love me!” He didn’t like his odds.

But finally, he decided that if Chan was going to be with him, he should know all the weird, sappy parts of him. Chan was the one who wanted to answer his wish and cure his loneliness, it would only be right to truly let him know what he was getting himself into. So, Felix picked out one of his favorite sappy Christmas movies and waited for Chan to announce when the pancakes were ready.

Breakfast went smoothly and Chan didn’t say a word about the movie choice. As they ate, Felix’s confidence in his decision completely solidified; Chan’s pancakes were out of this world.

The rest of the day passed without many mishaps, Felix showed Chan the rest of his apartment even though Chan already knew his way around from carrying Felix to bed the night before. Felix tidied up around the apartment and Chan insisted on helping even when he was told he didn’t need to.

Felix didn’t quite know how to treat Chan just yet. They weren’t an item but also they already were. Chan was a guest but also he wasn’t. In addition, Felix didn’t know what he was going to do about extra clothes for Chan yet or if the spirit had any money or if making things appear was another one of his abilities.

Chan certainly couldn’t wear Felix’s clothes, as despite them being roughly the same height, Chan had far more bulked out muscles than Felix. While Felix’s muscles were lean, Chan’s were thicker, much like his ass, that Felix had definitely not spent half the day trying not to look at when the spirit walked by. Felix could spend the next day or so figuring everything out and take him shopping for more clothes either way. He also made a mental note to ask the spirit about what other hidden abilities he may have.

Throughout the day, Felix had also taken plenty of opportunities to look at his new roommate. He didn’t want to seem creepy and stare at Chan, so he’d just sneak peeks out of the corner of his eye or when the other would turn his back.

There was no denying the spirit was beautiful, he was practically Felix’s perfect type. They were about the same height, but Chan was much more broad and muscular, he looked like he could lift Felix right off the ground without much strain at all. Chan’s face didn’t seem to match his strong body completely with dark curly hair that fluffed around his head and warm brown eyes that crinkled around the edges when he smiled. And Felix couldn’t get started on those dimples; he’d always been weak for them and now was no exception.

Felix was grateful that the Christmas spirit that heard his wish was as pretty as Chan. He didn’t know if all the spirits were this pretty, yet he still felt lucky that his not only seemed too sweet to be real, but was also just as nice to look at.

Felix was happy to have someone around for the day and just enjoyed slowly getting used to having another person in the house with him. Chan was sweet and insisted on making dinner after Felix beat him to lunch-making earlier in the day. He was phenomenal in the kitchen as Felix was quickly discovering and who was Felix to deny his new beautiful roommate the pleasure of making wonderful food for them?

It was after dinner, as they were planning to go to sleep that Felix realized a big mistake in he’d made when he agreed to let Chan stay with him.

Felix only had one bed.

He only had a couple options that he could think of to solve this. Let Chan have his bed while he took the couch; he wasn’t about to make Chan sleep on the couch, he was still new and Felix felt like it’d just be mean to take the bed from him.

There was one other option but he didn’t know he felt about it yet. They could both share Felix’s bed, it was big enough to fit them both comfortably but Felix was unsure if he should even bring that up. He and Chan had just met earlier that day and he didn’t know if this was truly moving too fast. Granted, they both knew why Chan was there so Felix was more inclined to give into his a bit too rapidly growing feelings, but he didn’t know if this step was too quick even for their situation.

“You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch,” Felix said, trying to stay nonchalant as he handed Chan extra toiletries to use.

“O-Oh, um, that’s okay,” Chan replied, looking the smallest bit disappointed by Felix’s words. “I can sleep on the couch.”

Felix shook his head quickly. “No, you- you shouldn’t have to do that, it’d be wrong of me to make you sleep there. It’s okay, I promise.”

Chan just nodded, giving Felix a tiny, unsure smile back, looking very much like he’d just been accused of doing something wrong.

“Have- have I done something wrong?” Chan’s voice was hesitant and timid as he spoke, afraid of upsetting the human he now lived with.

Felix paused in the middle of putting toothpaste of his toothbrush to give Chan a look. “Of course not, why would you think that?”

Chan shrugged, looking down and fiddling with the toothbrush he still held in his hands. “Just… I thought we could both stay in your bed. That’s- that’s what I came I here for, to keep you safe and give you company. I can’t do that with either of us on the couch.”

Oh.

Felix really hadn’t thought this through. He never would’ve imagined something like this could’ve hurt Chan so badly. The more he pondered, the more it made sense; this was what the spirit came to him for, so turning him down after spending the whole day together must have felt like a horrible rejection.

“Oh… I understand that, I didn’t mean to make you feel unwanted,” Felix started, giving Chan a genuine smile. “I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but I’m okay staying in the same bed if you are.”

At his words, Chan’s shoulders seemed to sag slightly in relief and his face lightened up immediately.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“I’m positive. Plus, I- I like cuddles before sleeping,” Felix chuckled shyly, trying desperately to ignore the way his face flushed the more he spoke.

Chan positively beamed, the confirmation he was doing a good job was all he needed to fully relax once again. “I’m glad I can help with that, then. I quite literally live for joy and feelings like these.”

Felix’s face heated up more and he quickly went back about his business of brushing his teeth. It had been less than a full day and already this spirit was wiggling his way deep into Felix’s heart. Not that he was complaining, it seemed like for once, Felix might actually have a love that lasts.

The two went about their business of getting ready for sleep and tucked themselves into bed. It was a little awkward at first as Felix was completely overthinking every little twitch and move he or Chan made. That was until Chan let out a sleepy sigh and turned onto his side, throwing an arm over Felix’s middle and pulling him flush against his chest.

“I could hear you overthinking, stop stressing so much and just let it happen,” came the sleep-riddled mumble from behind Felix.

Truly, Felix didn’t know how Chan expected him to relax and fall asleep after that move. He had a beautiful man right behind him, his breath warm against the back of Felix’s neck and Felix was sure he’d never been quite as aware of his own existence as he was in that moment.

Eventually, through soft little reassurances that it was alright and sleep was good and that he didn’t need to worry so much, Felix slowly succumbed to the exhaustion that had overtaken him. And if the comforting weight of Chan’s arm across his middle did anything to push him closer to sleep, Felix would never admit it aloud.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

read part two here!

[redrocketpanda]

Content notice: this post is going to discuss sexual violence, sexualisation and kink related to Astarion's storyline and personal experiences

When making certain posts + writing my fic about Astarion, I knew it was only a matter of time before people would come at me for the content. It was never a question of if, but of when. Because we all know the internet lacks nuance when it comes to certain topics and there are a lot of people seem very invested in being the online morality police

Today I received the following comment on one of my Astarion posts. And whilst I don't wish to give air time to rando's on the internet and don't need (or quite frankly want) to defend myself, there are some points I would like to make in relation to this

The first point being a big reminder that: if you don't like something, DNI. There are plenty of other posts and fics about Astarion that are all fluff and love and treating him like a pretty little princess. Currently, my Astarion content is not that. There are many reasons as to why that's the case. And, again, if you don't like it... go somewhere else cause I ain't about to stop posting what I'm posting just because people disapprove or want to label me as problematic or "not giving a fuck about victims of SA"

I hate to break to ya but life ain't so black and white. Cause here's the thing - trauma + kink are irrevocably intertwined with one another. There are a lot of academic works and smarter people on the internet who will have said this better than me, but the main point that I want to make is that people who create particular kinds of content are often playing in the spaces that they were forged in. It is in the very act of creation that we process things we've experienced, and it's up to us what kinds of narratives we want to explore/tell and what kinds of experiences we want to have (on and offline)

Not to get all TMI on main but I am someone who is actively and unashamedly engaged in many kinds of kink. Do you know what I adore? Being treated like shit in quite domineering and violent ways. Do you know what else I love? Topping little brats who need to be forcefully put in their places. And do you know what else I have? A lifetime of experience of domestic, intimate partner, and sexual violence. This is actually incredibly normal and okay. People who have experienced trauma are multi-faceted beings.

Kink is often a place where people can safely experience untold levels of catharsis (and by extension I am including writing + gameplay in this too). This isn't the case for everyone, though it is certainly true for me, and ofc there are healthier and unhealthier ways of doing this. There was a period of my life not too long ago when I was putting myself in very risky situations to get my kicks, and now I write about fictional characters experiencing these instead bc that's what I want to be doing with my life right now

And nobody gets to tell me shit about what I enjoy, or tell me how to enjoy it, or try to make me feel guilty for it

When I say that I get off on seeing Astarion bloody and bruised, when I say he deserves to be punished and write fic about that, when I play in the space of ownership and toxic relationships, I do so from a place of lived experience. I do so from a place of being well-read and well-practiced in kink. I do so from a place free from shame and fear of what other people will think. Because I have every right to say what I say, to write what I write, and to enjoy what I enjoy. And actually, it doesn't and shouldn't matter. Even if I didn't have those experiences or knowledge, I'm still allowed to create whatever the fuck I want to create and it doesn't make me a "bad person" bc it doesn't subscribe to this puritanical moral agenda that's been seeping all over the internet (Side note: I put this in the tags but it bears reiterating here. This also reeks of the kind of shitty comments that get made about how dom's are perpetrators of abuse and violence, or that subs are victims who are being taken advantage of, which I don't even have time to go into here bc there is a lot of history behind that. but just fyi. don't. just... don't. and if you wanna know why go ask google)

I also say/write/create from a place of my personal interpretation that I think Astarion gets off on masochism too. Have you met the guy? There's so much in his character that indicates that he likes to get slapped about and teased. And yes, I do know his story, I know his background, I know him. Because there is a lot about Astarion which is a mirror of myself. And I am playing with that reflection in lots of different ways (yes, that's an Astarion joke)

There will be a time when I have a very different kind of romance with Astarion, but that's not the kind of experience I want to have right now and maybe, in some ways, I'm not ready for it. Just a few weeks ago I wrote the below piece at 3am (which is now part of a sakuatsu piece about self-acceptance and love) when I woke up crying my eyes out and needed a creative outlet for how I was feeling at the time

Not that he calls it quits. Because the messages never stop coming, they flow freely from the tap. Anytime, anywhere. Whenever he wants it. He's always in demand. Because they all want him, they all want something from him.  But he doesn't care. Sometimes he loves it, gets off on it, can't get enough of it. Sometimes it leaves him feeling cold and empty and broken. At the end of the day, what does it matter? It's all that he's good for anyway

And tonight I got hit with Astarion essentially saying something very similar:

The moment I met Astarion, I knew that what we were seeing is a cleverly constructed performance. It's a facade, stitched together of hypersexualised behaviour, witty banter and a charming smile. I would know that performance anywhere, because it's one I've been playing for over a decade. It's a survival mechanism, a mask; something which endears you to others, which makes them like you, sometimes even love you. This performance is something that Astarion has become so very good at that it's become etched onto his soul. He doesn't know who he is without it, he doesn't know what he wants. But now he has the chance to find out.

And here's the thing: he doesn't have to suddenly become some super reformed character or stop getting his kicks in sadomasochistic ways. You can be all about bodily autonomy, self-love, and healthy boundaries, and still also have big ole' ownership, degradation, pain, and praise kinks actually. And there sure as hell ain't nothing wrong with that. Because, again, people are multi-faceted.

There is space for people who want to give Astarion a hug and tell him that he's loved, to have a really tender soft romance with him. And there is space for people who think that Astarion is a horrendous little man who is in need of objectification and punishment. Both of these stances are super valid and fun.

So now, if you'll excuse me, I shall depart from this very long personal essay (that probably no one will read, but which needed to be said anyway). I've got a dungeon scene that's not going to write itself.

[libras-interactives]

I cant remember if this was from a week or more ago, but someone asked stuff about some characters and I responded privately. I'll toss most of what I said here for anyone whose curious :3

1) Jack has sun sensitivity in general (but especially with his eyes) and is mildly near-sighted, which he thinks is normal and hasn't thought about much.

2) Máire likes reading, singing and playing music - the latter two she always preferred to do in private, but now it's half her job, so she doesn't enjoy it as much. She usually reads multiple newspapers and history books, but thinks the (still newish?) science fiction genre is really weird and cool. She prefers femme over masculine people, because she's sick of awful male clients.

3) Máire finds Malwina exhausting and naive. Alas, Malwina follows her around bc Máire is one of the few people to actually tolerate her, or even be nice (Lottie is as well but has her own social life that doesn't include a teen girl, and Polly/Paulie doesn't live at the La Lune). Malwina gets to sit in on the tarot readings because she's actually interested and doesn't make fun of it.

4) Lottie, Máire, Malwina and Louisa-Faye have the best voices and therefore perform the most. It helps that they're some of the prettiest of the girls, too. Louisa-Faye is arguably the stand out and most popular of the La Lune.

5) Little Lottie often wrings her hands around things, like a dress hem, her blanket, her tail, etc. Not enough to hurt but enough to get tension out or contain her excitement. I think bouncing on her heels and bopping is something she'd do if she were more comfortable with the MC. Wringing clothes or her tail is something she can do without being noticed and snapped at. Lottie gently asks her not to do it because she'll ruin her clothes or hurt herself, but LL is so used to being treated poorly that even that gentle admonishment upsets her. So Lottie began handing her towels and handkerchiefs to wring. LL tries to do it privately to avoid admonishment or mockery from anyone.

6) One of Little Lottie's special interests is historical fiction; specifically Victorian England, not that the little girl can put words to her passion or understand why it effects her. Part of the reason is bc thats the setting of the one book she has (A Little Princess), but it also because it seems so fantastical. Horse drawn carriages, fancy dresses, strict social "rules" and hierarchies to decipher. I think she'd go nuts for medieval history too. It helps that Lottie embellishes some of this history because she doesn't fully know it either, but she wants to tell the kid a story. If Little Lottie had access to better schooling and a library she'd inhale books. I think books focused on the countryside and farm animals would also seem like a fantastical world to a city girl.

[phntxm]

Headcanons for Gyu and Ume in Kimetsu Academy AU

kimetsu academy or modern world same thing

okay first of all, douma's gonna their step father, he's the one who save them? then this life he gonna save them by being their parent (let's pretend they're an orphan🤚)

gyutaro would have friends, ofc people mag considering him as ugly due to where they live and many things but in present time he definitely be one of the normal people, at least people gonna treated him as more human being

idk if his work as dept collector is a good or bad thing, but it's legal right? at first he'll live normally like a student, don't have to work for anything, but when he's in college he may find a legal part time job, since he want his history to be clean

I don't think he gonna do drug, he may interest in it at first bc of curiosity but he do smoke ig

ume is pretty and in kimetsu academy many boys send her their confessions, but what about girls

idk but she's not a type of pretty girl who like to hang out with boys, she like to hang out with girls, she's a mean girl (*cough* bc gyu and douma who like to spoiled her *cough*)😭 and gyu won't let a man be near his lovely sis too

many people have crush on ume but don't have confidence to give it to her by themselves so they gave it to gyu instead (how)

this happened too many times BUT there's also have someone who have crush on gyu and give him the love confession too (and that person it's me) but he misunderstood for ume and give it to her (she give it back to him later but gyu take it's as a prank)

gyu would work as delivery guy bc he know how to ride a bike🧍‍♀️ and when he send their parcel/food he don't have to take off his helmet so they can't see his face… 😔

I forgot this one, so douma adopted him and ume and douma remarried with kotoha and inosuke live with them too (this is my hc don't take it too serious)

sometimes tanjiro and zenitsu will come to play in their house, zen really likes ume but he scared of her brother and how mean she is

gyu don't like tanjiro, he always mean to him, but tanjiro never mad at him until gyu started to talk sh!t about nezuko to provoke tan😭🤚

gyu like emo punk/rock, ume and douma like j-pop and girl group, I also hc daki as sm gg stan (which I'll do hc about demons music taste later)

from what I mentioned above, why douma and ume like girl group, douma actually enjoy various genre, I can see him enjoying britney spears and lady gaga songs, or j-pop like gardinelia

for ume, it's kinda weird reasons, she likes pretty girls, gives off sm stan vibe and sapphic vibe… I can even named her bias in each group and yk, I'm sorry to assume but I saw many sone girls come out as sapphic and this really fits ume

a lot of scenarios like to write for ume to be jealous of reader if reader pretty than her, if in original story then ume would eat them but in modern world I don't think she gonna hate them because

1.ume very confident, she knows she's charming and don't have to worry about anything, people still gonna come back to her

2.ume didn't eat them bc she's jealous of pretty people and wanna get rid of them, if that's so, she would do it at first place

3.it's confirmed she hate ugly people, and don't even wanna eat to power up

ume wanna friends with pretty girls and she's kind of protective friend💪 she knows how to fight in verbally and physically (or just call gyu, magic word : onii-chan!!!)

she may have many friends, and her close friend group, but if any of them talk bad about her brother then boom, goodbye you're not my friend now and she don't even hesitate to do so

in original story, ume original hair color is white, gyu is black, but in modern world they both would have black hair but dyed it layer, ume dye it white and gyu dye it green and wears beret hat heheh❤️

this one is canon!! gyu want his sister to have better life, and when they arguing he said about his better life without her, I see it as gyu overprotective to his sister but NOT OBSESSIVE and don't make it to be in any gross or creepy way!

if he has a chance he definitely have a lover and live his life, not following his sister everywhere, but if ume have a lover then he gonna approve them first, she's innocent and nice girl, this is why he scared

Notes: this is all I can think of now, I may write for part 2 in the future or other kimetsu academy/modern au, I'm sorry if there's any grammatical issues, english is not my native language and I know I use to many 'like' 🥲

lmk if you have any opinion about them!!

[frecklystars]

im sorry I just need to let this out for a second

This is normal after an attempt but I’m so fucking numb all the time. And what’s worse is I don’t have anyone in my family who cares if something happens to me. My dad treats a suicide attempt like it is no big deal or it’s rly an inconvenience, like he had to make a 10 minute drive to the hospital when he would rather be banging some new girl he meets with every other day

I feel weird because I don’t want to tell my friends what I did bc like. How do you bring that up. “Hi Keri how are you” “oh I’m hanging in there I tried to kill myself July 21st and I would have died if my dad didn’t find me and now I’m dealing with the weight of failure and I’m severely depressed and I can’t bring myself to self ship bc im so numb all the time. How are you!”

I really wish somebody could hug me and tell me things are gonna be ok. I wanted to invite some friends over but I can’t bc my dad! is! constantly fucking somebody! and like. I am just so numb and sad all the time. I had to pull over while driving earlier bc I was crying so hard and I couldn’t calm down. I want to at least rely on my f/os. My whole life I’ve relied on f/os when real people could not care about me. I always felt so safe and loved with my f/os. That shit was robbed from me and I am just sitting here without any outlet other than planning how I can hurt myself again when my dad goes out of town. I hate living like this I’m so fucking sick of living like this. I really wish I died. I am so tired all the time. It’s so hard I wish I could put into words how crippling it is to live with not only physical disabilities but also ptsd and cptsd and being paranoid that I can’t trust any of my friends. I miss my f/os. I really fuckign miss having them to lean on. When I made my attempts on my life in 2022 I still had Starscream. I got thru this pain because I could think of him. Now I am trying os hard to think of Ken but I keep thinkgin he’d just be so scared of me. He’d be scared of the blood. I hthink he’d be really sick of dealing with my ptsd every day. I don’t even feel love for him right now I just feel so numb like nothign can possibly get better for me I’ve been fighting so damn hard for almost two years now and I’ve been fighting depression since I was 7 years old and I’ve been doing it completely by myself bci don’t have a family that would care if anytiitn happened to me

[loopscereal]

idk if you've explained this already or if i've already asked it butttt how did spring and golden meet? how did they become friends? what's their friendship like? i wanna knowww more abt their friendship :3

hiii thank you for asking :)

How did they meet?

They met through coincidence. Or luck, as Golden considers it. Golden has a bathroom attached to their bedroom, and as happens with all bathrooms at some point issues come up. There was a faulty leak in the thing, and Spring was hired to fix it. At the time, Golden was so fixated on a project of theirs that they couldn't remove themselves from their room, and regardless of that they didn't want to leave the thing alone with a stranger, and so they stayed there in their room as Spring worked. 

How did they become friends?

It meant quite a lot to Spring that Golden was way more focused on their own thing rather than how Spring looked, not making a spectacle out of him, or any sort of reaction. They were simply fully absorbed in their own thing. Conversely, it meant a lot to Golden to have someone respect their space and not misgender them off the bat, both things that they don't run into often. Spring not knowing anything about their family was also a great little bonus. As Spring finished what he was hired for, he showed some simple, non-intrusive, interest in what Golden’s passion, then came back the next day with some photos in line with it, to have something to talk about. At that point in their lives they were both very starved for interaction, Golden being very sheltered, and inherently distanced from anyone due to their family’s fame, and Spring being distanced from everyone other than his brothers due how busy he was through work and because of the average person's adverse reaction to how he looks and how he lives. Neither of them are treated normally by everyone aside from some select people. Golden’s seen and treated  as better than other people due to their last name, Spring is seen and treated as worse than other people because of his face. Golden is seen as a worse person due to having their whole life handed to them on a silver platter, and Spring is seen as a better person due to having worked and  persevered through his life.

Being seen as just another random person without either of them being inherently better or worse was really nice for both of their heads, both of them tend to just be treated differently in that way you can feel, so being equals was just nice. Of course they've had their lighter judgements of each other, but it really does mean nothing compared to the big things they both immediately shrugged off/ didn't care about. 

So they were both pretty isolated people, socially speaking. Starved for that sort of interaction, and took some interest in each other's interests. Spring takes notice of certain buildings and architecture, alongside other things Golden is into and takes photos of them to send their way. Golden does this too as they learn about Spring and his interest in graffiti and arts. They'll send him photos of any graffiti they find, art they think would interest him, both of them invite the other to talk about what they like, and treat each other decently. Eventually they drift from talking solely through images or questions about the others interests, and into other things. Off hand comments about interviews and family things turn into actual conversations, as people do. 

What's their friendship like?

I don't get this question? good? it's good?

They send each other photos, ask aboutt each other's interests, and have known each other for llllike 2 years now? They're each other's best friends, I guess. Though Golden really doesn't like that comparative hierarchy when it comes to relationships. But if you had to measure/ give it a name, they spend a lot of time together and know a lot about each other. More than some (cough spring) would like.

uh idk a little tense when it comes to other people, bc spring is 8 years older; although neither of them feel like he’s all that old, Spring grew up way too fast and now he’s kinda perma 16 in his head and Golden has always been seen as “ahead” for their age and just generally different and mature (they r just quiet leave them alone god). But yeah the age difference makes it look kinda weird/bad, alongside that Golden always has that sort of pressure to be attentive about anyone who could run into them and recognize them so being reserved about it is their default go-to.

 Also Fox. has. some issues, when it comes to people being close to his family, which Golden has noticed and made sure to never bring Spring up around him, or really any of the animatronics as not to make the topic of him come up casually. Though Chica broke this streak but THATS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. <3 <3 <3

Another way they bond is via pokemon, Golden loves the games, the anime, anything that comes out of the franchise. Spring does not and has never had the time to sit and get into things, he's always too busy, but in an effort to maintain their friendship, he once again takes interest in something Golden is into, and that is available to him. (no way in hell he's affording a console, games, AND has the time to play much-less complete them) Anyway, It's the pokemon anime. He downloads some episodes and watches them while he has time (when there’s no customers or it's just dead time) and is bored out of his mind. He takes notes in a document, then when he gets home he sits down, takes all the notes, and makes as much of a proper paragraph as he can, then sends it to Golden. Then they talk about the episodes,  its cool, it's chill. yay bonding over an interest and getting into it yourself. (a lil bit idk. he must like it a little…its not PURELY obligation to their friendship…silly show)

[eliotquillon]

jean :)

BITING AND KILLING RN

one aspect about them i love

the fact that he got thrown down the stairs 4 times LOL. jk. this is very meta but something i find really cool about jean is the way his suicides in the previous drafts are almost treated as canon suicide attempts and how it shapes his subsequent characterisation. like very genuinely i think knowing that the published version of aftg is the Only one where jean gets his happy ending makes the happy ending in question sooo much more impactful and i think it’s why i love him so much. like he did Not have plot armour but despite everything, things worked out for him anyway. god i fucking love jean

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH KEVIN. i think the thing with kevin and jean is that they were both victims of riko but they both knew that kevin leaving would result in jean suffering more, and ofc kevin had a right to leave his abuser, but i also think jean has a right to be resentful about it. i think part of why kevin and jean’s relationship can’t ever fully heal is because neither of them ever knew each other before riko’s abuse and therefore neither of them can really picture a “healthy” version of each other so like if your only concept of a person is while they’re mid trauma response, that is ofc gonna paint a skewed picture. they were both caught in the cycle of abuse of being victim and later perpetrator and i think it’s kind of reductive to act like riko not being there will undo the hurt that jean and kevin actually did to each other. whew that was an essay. basically i just wish more people understood that jean and kevin can probably never be friends and their friendship only existed bc of their mutual victimhood so like as adults it isn’t natural or healthy for them to revert back to that

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

i 100% think jean is losing his french because of the nest and he ends up doing french classes at USC to “catch up” because he starts to realise how many things he’s forgetting. i also think he never bothers to a) become a US citizen, or b) qualify for an olympic team because, unlike kevin or neil, exy is genuinely just a career for him and in the end i think his life’s goal isn’t an olympic medal but instead finding a life and hobbies OUTSIDE of exy now that he’s finally allowed

one character i love seeing them interact with

KEVIN. sorry it kind of fucking shows but i’m so obsessed with how fucked up their dynamic is it’s so so so sad and vitriolic and both of them are right to be hurt and it just sucks!! it’s a mutual tragedy!! and i for one cannot look away! the tension between them at the banquets when they realise they’ve gone from being on the same team to being enemies….ohohoho. and what i wouldn’t do to eavesdrop on the convo they had after jean left the nest

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

JEREMY KNOX BITCH #JEREJEAN. we deserved a usc novella in general with jean getting to live his best life but ESPECIALLY with jeremy. fanfic isn’t enough anymore. the detail in the extra content about jeremy teaching jean how to play pool and jean somehow being better than him at it is genuinely my favourite thing ever and i want to see more fun slice of life “jean getting a normal college experience” stuff

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

mmm i think at some point there was definitely something More Than Platonic between kevin and jean and this was partially weaponised against them by riko, thus making the fallout of their friendship even more toxic. just a vibe i get. on a happier note i like to think that jean tries to teach jeremy french but realises that he’s actually a terrible teacher and when he taught kevin kevin had been doing a lot of the heavy lifting LMAO. i also think that while he never becomes friends with kevin again, things do lighten between them slightly after they both graduate and between riko’s death and jeremy they’re able to stay on mutually decent terms + attend each other’s weddings