#want a Fred durst hug

[ssl0t]

[faasutotorakku]

hes a cutie patootie

Fred is lowkey the gamer girl ever🎀

[korn-dogz]

Fred durst nsfw and sfw headcannons

Summary: basically just what I think Fred would be like in a relationship with you

WARNING: fluff and smut

Sfw

-he brags to his bandmates about you and thinks you don’t know

-he calls you sweet nicknames like “love” "sweetheart” “baby” and “honey”

-HE WILL HUG YOU FROM BEHIND (even when you’re not expecting it)

-he thinks he’s tuff shit but when you two are alone he’s the biggest softy ever, he will fully lay on top of you and nuzzle his face into your neck

-he will hold hands with you wherever you two go, it doesn’t matter where you are or whose watching He. Will. Hold. Your. Hand.

-he’s the biggest cuddle fan ever, he will cuddle with you everywhere, on the bed, on the couch, even while you’re sitting, he’ll find a way to cuddle with you

-he likes to give you lazy kisses in the morning, when you two are about to fall asleep, taking naps with him

-he has his own bedroom but he never uses it, you refer to his room as “the guest room” on how much he doesn’t use it

-he won’t shower unless you go with him, he likes to see you wash his fuzzy hair, and he’ll ask you to wash his back but he just wants you to give him a back rub

-when he’s out with you in public he will let people know that your his, just by putting an arm around you or holding your hand

-he loves your cooking, he always makes sure to tell you how much he loves your cooking

-taking care of him when he’s drunk… he can be a bit of a mess, he sometimes cries on your lap and one time threw up on you, he started crying because he just threw up on you but you reassured him that you were fine and you could just wash these clothes

-the type of connection that he has with you is like no other relationship he’s been in, he feels like he can talk to you about anything and you won’t Jude him. He’s been in pretty toxic relationship, but this one was special

-sometimes when he’s drunk he’ll think of why you would want to be with someone like him, then he drunkenly pores out all of his emotions, it’s mostly him crying because of how much he loves you. You always comfort him and tell him you’ll never leave him, it’s either him crying in your lap and has his arms wrapped around you or he’s cuddling with you to get rid of his feelings

-you’re always the cure to his hangover, he’d be very touchy and affectionate with you, he’d want to cuddle with you and make him breakfast in bed

-you love his beard, and it’s something you find attractive about Fred, but also his body hair, he’s always suggesting to shave but you refuse every time

-Fred’s favourite part about you is your smile, it lights up a room and his heart, it’s the first thing he feel in love with when he met you

-how you and Fred met: you two met in Highschool, he was failing science and you were chosen to be the person to help him, in hs he had a reputation for being kind of mean and a playboy but when you got to know him better, he wasn’t like that at all, he was really kind and when he invited you over to his house to study for a science test his mom was the sweetest, when she first met you she asked Fred if you were his girlfriend right in front of you. His mom still adores you to this day, when you two started dating she would make you homemade gifts, and you still have them sitting on a shelf

Nsfw

-Fred LOVES receiving, he’ll get you to suck his dick anywhere, before a concert, in another persons house. He loves the risk of going into semi public places

-he loves the way you give him a blowjob, he thinks you’re the best at it, even if it’s a handjob under the table

-when he’s receiving he will whine, whimper, and beg. He doesn’t care about being dominate when you’re giving him a bj

-oh boy but when he’s eating you out, he’s a monster. He likes it best when you sit on his face and ride his tongue, he likes seeing your hips roll into his mouth

-when you’re riding his face he will grip your thighs so you stay on his face, you get concerned if he can breathe but he assures you he’s fine

-Fred is into all types of things, like he loves it when he gets to pound into you from behind and feel how tight you are

-Fred will come inside of you any chance he gets, he loves seeing you filled up with his cum, and he goes crazy when he hears you moan his name

-he LOVES watching you ride him, you helplessly bouncing on his cock, he will give you hickeys on your chest when you’re riding him,

-he praises you every time, like when you’re going down on him “oh fuckk… your doing sooo good Y/N” or when he’s pounding into you “yeah, I fucking love this pretty pussy” or “good fucking girl…”

-his favourite positions are doggy, cowgirl, and missionary. He’s a simple guy

-when he’s doing missionary, he pushes down on your stomach to feel himself inside of you, it also makes you moan louder

-Fred groans and moans like a bitch when he’s giving it to you “fuck! I’m cuming” he groans out loud. Sometimes you’re scared that the neighbours might hear the two of you

-you’re first time with Fred: Fred was nervous as HELL even tho he’s the one that initiated it, but once the foreplay was over he was confident, he started off slow but picked up the pace once you adjusted to his size, he held onto your shoulders as your arms wrapped around his neck. For your guys first time he pulled out and came all over your stomach but your second time, you were begging him to cum inside of you

-he LOVES shower sex, just your wet bodys pressing against each other, and his cum dripping down your leg

-he will fuck you backstage before a concert, and the other guys pretend not to know what’s been going on

-just like his hairy chest, you don’t mind his pubes, he likes to keep it trimmed a bit but you don’t care

-when you’re going down on him he’ll go nuts when you play with his balls, I mean he’ll start trusting up into your mouth and hold your head down

-he sometimes likes to record you two having sex, but he never shows it to anyone else, when he’s desperate he’ll jerk off in an empty washroom to your tapes. He’s a desperate bastard and he’ll imagine you riding his cock while doing it

[memobread]

FRED DURST FLUFF AND THANK YOU FOR WRITING FOR HIM

ofc sweet cheeks!!

here u go <3

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summary: jon and fred perform "all in the family" together and jon gets overstimulated, so fred comforts him.

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*written from jon davis's pov*

"AND I'LL LICK YOUR LITTLE DICK, MOTHAFUCKA!!!"

As I screamed into the mic, my lover, Fred, went stark-raving mad, tackled Head, and started humping him like a dog. The crowd creamed themselves, shrieking at such pitches that shot through my eardrums like a stabbing dagger. On top of me losing my earplugs, the guitar screeching unexpectedly, and Munky trying to fuck with me, it was sensory hell. I could feel my muscle tension heighten, my mind racing with horrible thoughts, my eyes starting to sting with tears, and my breath starting to heave. As soon as I uttered a quick thanks to the crowd, I tried to rush off the stage, but Fieldy grabbed me by the arms and swung me around, holding on too tight to break free. I tried to wriggle out of his strong grasp, but he kept a vice grip on me.

"THE FUCK YOU TRYNA LEAVE FOR?! YOU'RE MY BITCH!!"

Fieldy screamed right in my ear, and it pierced my whole head like a 9mm, straight through one ear out the other. With tears streaming down my face, I violently writhed and wrenched out of his grasp before saying goodnight to the crowd and racing off the stage. I bolted past tech people into a tiny, yet cozy broom closet. I buried my face in my knees and hugged them tightly, sobbing loudly and hyperventilating. I was safe, for now. Nobody could grab me or scream in my ear again.

The guys and the audience must think I'm a little bitch now...

Suddenly, I heard a knock.

...fuck...

"Hey, you alright, Jon?"

I sighed in relief when I heard Fred's voice.

"Y...yeah..." I choked out, trembling a bit.

Sure enough, Fred opened the door and stepped inside, slumping down next to me.

"No, you're not."

With that, I broke down crying again, and Fred wrapped his comfy arms around me.

"You're gonna be okay, Jon...I'm here...The guys aren't mad, I promise..."

Fred was one of the few people I could cry in front of.

"Wanna tell me what happened when you're ready?"

All I could do was nod.

"...i...i just lost my fuckin' earplugs and...and now everything those guys do...just...messes me up..."

Fred nodded and rubbed my back.

"I got an extra pair for the next show if you want."

I heaved a sigh of relief.

"Jesus Christ, thank you so much..."

Fred chuckled and kissed my forehead.

"Anything for you, hon..."

We stayed there for a few more blissful minutes, holding each other tightly and snuggling, like we were fused together. That was, until I heard a startling knock.

"Yo, Jon, you good? I'm sorry about earlier."

It was Fieldy.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Don't worry, you're good."

[contentsurfer-blog]

1. Lvl9 Interview

Okay, I'll start with asking when did you start rapping?

Lvl9: I started rapping seriously around mid 2016.

What made you wanna start taking it serious?

Lvl9: It was an outlet. Well, still is, but even more so then.

I feel you. So, when did the Kundalini Kids come together?

Lvl9: Honestly, I'm not sure when Kundalini became a thing. J3 (@j3s_journal) and Lil Durt (@lildurtp1) were already doing music and shows before I came around. I went to high school with Durt. He played in the band for our team. Late 2016 I started doing music and shows with them.

The other day I saw you tweeting about how Dank Sinatra (@forsweetreveng3) and Tsunami Wave (@Tsunamisurfa) had helped you be able to perform at SXSW last year. What was that like?

Lvl9: It was dumb lit. I did a couple shows at SXSW last year so it was cool starting off that way.

I was scrolling through your IG and I saw that you've opened for Chief Keef. Would you mind telling me about that?

Lvl9: I don't mind. To be honest, he didn't even make the show and I got locked up on the way there.

Cody (@YLkideuphoria) was telling me y'all got to meet Lil Peep when he was in Dallas on his COWYS tour. How was that? (Did not mean COWYS tour. I had forgotten what I was told and assumed it was the COWYS tour)

Lvl9: Cody wasn't there. I opened up for Riff Raff, and Peep came with Bexey Swan and Rayn. Man, that was a life changing event. Most genuine person I ever met. Him and my DJ are from the same place. It was cool because he walked over by himself and we talked about life before even saying anything about music. Before he left he gave me a hug and it's still with me.

Yeah, Cody had mentioned he missed it and showed me a picture you got with Peep. Do you remember anything Peep told you that's gonna stick with you?

Lvl9: "Much love and happiness."

That's awesome. You can tell through his music that he was a very genuine person. It must've been very humbling to have met him and gotten to talk about other things than music. Alright, so, I have two more questions. Is there anything Lvl9 fans should look forward to in 2018?

Lvl9: Yes, very humbling. It really let me know how small the world is - I have 3 tapes that I'm sitting on, as well as this dope visual to my song "Fred Durst". Expect a bunch of features...big features! And this year, I'm going all out with the lit shows. I expect big things for my career in 2018. If it don't happen, then I expect big things for myself the next year and so on.

And is there anything you wanna say or anybody you wanna give a shout-out to before we wrap this up?

Lvl9: I want to say this..."Anyone can make it in this industry. All you need is a few plans, hard work, dedication, and a reason behind what you're doing. You have to love this. You have to expect to be let down. You might have to do 300 free shows before promoters want to book you. Please don't stop trying."

Soundcloud: Lvl9

Twitter: @THELVL9

Instagram: THELVL9

Listen to Floor It by Lvl9 below.

[nutterwithasolderingiron]

honestly, as much as i disliked the butt-rock/nu-metal of the late 90′s and early 00′s, i gotta say a lot of it was pretty interesting, not just in comparison to modern pop music but in general. 

1. it showed that the general public COULD reasonably get into heavier guitar based music. think about that? when was the last time you heard a distorted guitar on the radio? i always remember when i was in my pre-teens and seeing bring me to life - evenesence hitting number 1 in the uk charts for 4 weeks (i think) and their next 2 singles even hitting the top 40. that’s kinda unheard of in the last 10 years. the heaviest thing that’s hit the top 40 since then is probably moves like jagger - maroon 5 or drive by - train. 

2. it was a good introduction for white people to get into rap/hiphop. by adding hiphop tropes to the genre. for a lot of white people, the only rap they ever heard was the stuff that got play on the charts, which was usually the real pop rap. you had people like fred durst talking about how much they liked snoop dogg and NWA. for many people, that was their gateway into what we now consider classic hiphop/rap. plus many of those bands were also influenced by underground bands. i remember one of the members of linkin park said something along the lines of ‘i wanted hybrid theory to have as much energy as the shape of punk to come - refused’ think how many people went out and bought that album from what was a relatively small band (at the time) from uema in Sweden, then learned about punk rock and activism through that? how many people know about the Armenian genocide through system of a down?

3. some of those songs had more complexity than we care to admit. the song that always comes to mind is chop suey - system of a down. the youtube channel 12tone did a great video about that song but you realise there’s much more going on than you ever realised, which leads me to 4. 

4. THE HOOKS ON SOME OF THOSE SONGS STILL STICK WITH YOU. yeah, we can laugh at a lot of it, but there are plenty of songs that if you start singing around your friends, you’ll start a sing along. the example i give is a pub near me (before lockdown) used to have a 1990-2005 music night and every song on that playlist had people singing along. you have not lived until you’ve seen a room of 30 year old jaded millennials clearly just off a 12 hour shift hugging and singing “trust in my self righteous suicide, i cry when angels deserve to die” or “cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort”

5. it showed that teenagers could get into music that was more emotionally complex than we gave it credit for. seriously, if even 1 person decided to seek help because they seen themselves in the lyrics to some of those songs about dealing with thoughts of self harm or abuse, then it’s a good thing. yeah, some of the bands were clearly trying to be edgy but often, that’s the best way to gain attention. 

6. fashion. yeah, i’m no expert on fashion but i always thought the fashion from that era was actually really interesting. the punk rock mba has a great video on nu-metal fashion that i highly recommend looking into but think about someone the whole “e-girl/e-boy” fashion and then look at nu-metal fashion. pretty similar. hell, the first time i ever seen chokers/collars was around the height of nu-metal fashion. think how many people wear them nowadays. plus yeah, jnco’s were cheesy as hell but honestly, i kinda miss looser fitting jeans as i get older. 

7. i know there’s this joke that it’s music for angry white boys, but honestly, i remember at the time, the split between the fanbase was more towards women, there were also lot’s of women in that scene that were often super talented. not just on the stage but off the stage too. i remember reading that amy lee from evanesence used to make/modify her own clothing. there were often fan sites/blogs run by female fans, my friend emily used to run a limp bizkit fan site, it’s lost to the sands of time but they learned to code through that. fan sites were basically the zines of the 00′s.

8. it set the scene for the big emo explosion of the mid 00′s. yeah, think about that. do you think MCR or FOB would have got half as big as they did if it wasn’t for nu-metal/butt-rock showing the music buying public could get into heavier but emotional music? 

while honestly, i’m not the biggest fan of a lot of this stuff, i can appreciate what it did and how it was a stepping stone for many people into the rock scene. sorry for the long post. i felt like it had to be said because i do still see people looking down on a lot of this music and wonder if they even understand the good points. 

[xpwewarchive]

XPWEW Heatwave 2018 (8-18-2018)

XPWEW 2018 Heatwave *Opening Video Package about the return of XPWEW *Flame pyro-technics *Jaques Dudley entrance with plenty pyrotechnics *Intro with Joey Styles & Shane McCoy on commentary quickly swinging it back to the fast paced opening contest of Rey & Jaques *Rey Mysterio entrance with several women wearing luchador masks *Rey Mysterio is wearing a Marvel Deadpool inspired outfit and mask M1: Jaques Dudley defeats Rey via pin fall *Gorilla Position: Rey walks behind the curtain to a round of applause by Troy Clausen thank you for being here Rey I greatly appreciate it. Jaques walks behind the curtain slowly and glares into a stare off with Troy. Troy embraces for a hug and Jaques denies his advancement. Troy explains, he wants to “bury the hatchet”. The past is the past so lets leave it together. Troy exclaims how he is a changed man and two things on this earth don’t hold grudges. that being basketballs and Troy Clausen. Troy persistently sees how Jaques is unimpressed by his apology. “Listen here, I understand why your upset with me. You proved me wrong! You proved me wrong to the whole world like..half a decade ago. I can change. I have. Jaques says “I just lived a childhood dream with a legend in this industry, Rey Mysterio. I’m on quite an adrenaline rush at the moment. I don’t wanna hear your fake apologies. I just want to be XPWEW Champion again. Troy says, I’ve already figured out the world title situation. and you know what I’ll spill the beans now. You just beat the legendary Rey Mysterio. So, I tell you what. Next week on Pyro. I’ll let you know but as of right now. You are in really good contention to be in the title chase. I think you’ll like the new title design as well. I’ll reveal it on Pyro this friday. Troy exits to the right in front of Jaques to a unique camera angle of Troy walking with the camera backward down the hallway. *Troy enters the green room of Heatwave tonight to adult film star Mia Khalifa. Who is here to promote the 2018 PornHub awards to be held in Los Angeles later this month, Troy banters back and forth acknowledging. Mia explains her interest in being the advisor to XPWEW by her interests in sports and her involvement in pro wrestling with her encounter with indie star Joey Ryan has perked her interest into getting into pro wrestling. Troy buries the lead only to politely flirt with Mia only for Chris Johnson to enter stage left on Mia Khalifa’s side of the screen. (Johnson gets a pretty big pop from the crowd) Chris Johnson talks about how he’s more aware than he ever has been before and he saw Troy talking to Jaques earlier and reminds him. “If you are already putting him! In contention for the world title, lets not forget who broke that streak of his. Troy attempts to respond quickly **Bigger Pop** until Hardcore Legend Mick Foley appears to kiss the hand of Mia Khalifa. Mick: Mia its a privilege to meet you right here! in the Los Angeles California! Troy laughs as CJ mean mugs. Troy: Chris! If you have a grievance may I introduce you to the NEW! first time ever! Leader of human resources! Mick Foley! You see Chris if you have any issue, talk to Mick. He’s here to help you. Mick: Says I’m a huge fan Chris Johnson interrupts only to gloat about how great he is and as soon as he gets going. Foley interjects to remind him I was actually talking about Mia’s work on the internet but you are pretty talented too. Johnson gets up in Mick’s face. Johnson: Mick, I know we’ve never met but as a warning to you from me. I’d suggest you watch your mouth when you speak to me or you’ll leave here quicker than you came. Johnson walks away (awkward silence between Mia,Foley & Troy Clausen) Foley: Mia I guess if I were leave quicker than I came then maybe I might not be cut out for your industry. Bang! Bang! *Sick Nick Mondo entrance with new brown gear as opposed to his classic lime green attire *Milk Man entrance wearing a really unique Chocolate version of his old uniform full with Chocolate milk liters which means Mondo is matching. *Siaka Lexoni & Ruckus entrance together with new theme music performed LIVE by Maxo Kream & Playboi Carti M2: Milk Mondo ENT vs Ruckus & Lexoni *Ruckus picks up the win for his team with a Bankroll onto Milk Man. *Siaka Lexoni celebrates with Ruckus and calls for the music to stop. Siaka starts controlling his breathing and says. I can’t believe I’m about to say this but I plan on retiring here tonight and this was my last match. I wanna thank everyone here for allowing me to perform all over the world for you for the past 10 years. Today marks my 10th year as a professional wrestler and I wanna thank Ruckus for being my best friend, my brother and thank you for everything. They both hug and hold hands up high and Siaka breaths in the admiration of the crowd by jumping the rail and greeting a farewell to the fans up close and personal in the stands as the screen fades to black *Troy Clausen walking backstage and a door opens adjacent to him. Joel Gertner comes out of the door and shakes Troy’s hand and Troy says Joel. I am granting you a position as well. You are now my assistant and mind you I’m a changed person and that role will not be a chance for me or anyone to take advantage of you. Hey by the way who else showed up. Troy: Did Future make it? Joel: Sir, he is in tour across the country Troy: You sure he couldn’t make it Joel: I’m pretty sure but Tito Santana is here *Tito Santana appears out of the door to a big smile and a good pop Troy: I was looking for Future not 6ix9ine or is that your age huh huh. You see Tito, I listen to my audience and they don’t like you. But that doesn’t mean I can’t come here. They hug. Tito: Obviously I can’t afford to be the private advisor. I’m not made of money. Troy honestly aren’t you like a BP oil tycoon? Why can’t you just pay for all this. I’m retired. I just wanted to be here for the boys. but concerning your boy Troy: ha ha did you train him well? *Curt Clausen appears to Clausen’s left and shakes Tito’s hand. Troy: proudly looks at Curt - up and down. My son! You remind me of a young me. Are you ready for your first official match as “Champagne” Curt Clausen! Curt: Dad, I’ve never been more prepared for anything in my life Troy: Go get em’ champ. I love that kid. *Chris Johnson entrance *Curt Champagne Clausen M3: Chris Johnson vs Champagne Clausen w/ manager Tito Santana *Clausen wins with a shocking roll-up finish and Johnson is beside himself and is openly frustrated *Mick Foley and Mia Khalifa backstage watching a monitor. Mia: he does look like a 70’s porn star Mick: I do wish that 70’s style did come back to main stream consciousness like a little hair you know a knock on the door: Jake Awesome, : Mick you wanted to see me Mick: Jake yes, how are you. We’ve never formally met before. So this is a big deal my son Mickey is a huge fan or yours Jake: thanks it means allot coming from you Mick: I just wanted to inform you that Troy Clausen has given me the instruction that I am going to be the special guest referee for you and Slayer tonight. I’ve actually been trying to contact him all night to no luck but I do have another person here Vince Russo appears: Mick, bro its been too long. Jake Awesome now thats what a professional wrest-a-luh is suppose to look like bro. Jake, you are a stud just like your father it’s great to meet you *Russo gets a very mixed reaction Jake: humbly shakes Russo’s hand and asks speaking of which, Why did you make my dad That 70’s guy. Bro c’mon the Aston Kutcher show was doing big numbers bro it was just business! just business! strictly business bro! Jake: smirks and laughs Mick: (interjects) I will input I did think Dude Love was a more successful hippie inspired character than that of the fat chick thriller but I’m not judging Jake: (quick laugh and walks out) *tanaka entrance *blackman entrance M3: Steve Blackman vs Masato Tanaka *Blackman wins this match with a brain buster suplex bridge pin after a very close contest. Blackman grabs the microphone and urges Tanaka to shake hands as a sign of good sportsmanship, Tanaka accepts only for Blackman to kick him in the balls in response Blackman: I don’t have the god damn patience for you or any of the scum here in LA tonight *crowd boos* Blackman: Look at all the people here tonight huh look int the front row. Well thats Mr. Red cap to the back himself. Frederick First! *camera switches to Fred Durst in the front row Blackman: smirking approaches him and does a quick interview but cuts it short bashing Durst with the microphone and then shinzo kicking him in the head only for security to separate them Blackman pleads up to the ramp with the mic in hand Blackman: security can’t stop me, Fred Durst couldn’t stop me. but I am back with purpose. I am the greatest champion in this company’s lineage runs through me and I’d like to introduce my new manger. better yet my new litigator. Will Olafuub and Eddie Edwards *Olaffub & Edwards enter and embrace Blackman *Olaffub takes the mic. This is the new wave. This is the dark web of professional wrestling. We seek the truth. We are The Truth of professional wrestling. The Lethal Weapon Steve Blackman The Human Visegrip Eddie Edwards and introducing The Luminary!!! Croyle Brodie Croyle entrance! We want all the gold and we will not rest until we have it We are the Truth Infantry. *Backstage: Jim Cornette is revealed to be famous YouTuber Brian Zane in disguise cuts a scathing promo on how the current state of professional wrestling is in the toilet. He wants to give his blessing to Leonard & Dennis McGraw. A return to the basics. A return to class and prestige. He also calls out Russo as a coward for leaving. *Pac aka Neville makes his entrance to a big ovation from the crowd. Maybe biggest of the night *Tanhashi enters to a nice pop as well M4: Tanahashi vs Pac *After a chess match match with Neville taking most of the offense the match. Neville wins with a bridge pin tiger suplex. Tanahashi clearly frustrated with himself hesitates to leave the ring but does and somberly walks up the ramp. *Romeo Roselli interview with new official xpwew interviewer Kandi Khaos INTERVIEW: Romeo politely answers the questions of his excitement looking forward with XPWEW. Romeo dressed up as iconic drag queen “Divine” most famously portrayed from the 1970’s film Pink Flamingos. Romeo has a gucci bag, inside he reveals “The Heavens Crown Championship title. A very unique title with a powder blue strap and silver plate, He reveals that starting on pyro he will gracefully defend this title every single week! The Seven Minutes In Heaven Challenge will be inaugurated next friday on the season premiere of Pyro {Romeo Roselli defends the Heavens Crown Championship each week in a 7 minute match against a mystery opponent.} *Taka Michinoku enters wearing a Will Osperay t-shirt just to shoutout his buddy over in NJPW. Big pop *Kota Ibushi enters to streamers from the side ramp like crazy. Great pop for his debut here in XPWEW 2 out of 3 falls M6: Taka Michinoku vs Kota Ibushi *Kota wins the first fall *Taka wins the second fall *Kota Ibushi wins the third fall after multiple missed M7: Leonard & Dennis McGraw accompanied by Brian Zane destroy a local talent tag team called The LA Rydas *Backstage: Slayer sitting in what appears to be a secluded janitor’s closet and Marc Snow appears and Slayer almost jumps in self defense and Marc steps in with a birthday card. I know it’s your birthday today. Slayer heistantly accepts and Marc says I’m not going to apologize for anything. I just wanna tell you I support you and I love you and I wish I would have said it sooner. Slayer actually goes in for a huge and fucking history is made as Slayer and Marc Snow hug it out and the decades of father/son abuse may have just ended right before our eyes at Heatwave *Backstage: Jake Awesome now in his ring gear passes by Mick Foley talking with Troy Clausen, Joel Gertner & Will Ollafub. Jake asks Mick for advice. Mick says well see I’ve seen enough of Slayer to know. But Jake I’m a well versed XPWEW fanatic! and I know that in big match scenarios, in big fights, sink or swim, fight or die, adapt or perish. Jake Awesome. The mammoth. is the greatest xpwew wrestler ever. Most decorated. Most successful. The best. You don’t need to ask Mick Foley for anything. Believe in you! You can conquer and good luck tonight Jake. Jake smiles and pats Mick on the back and thanks him thoroughly. Mick smiles in the distance *promo hyping the psychotic clowns. Kirby Lee and Joe Gacy. Coming soon!!!! IN RING: *Troy Clausen hits the ring with Joel Gertner and his son Curt “Champagne” Clausen. Joel has a crate filled with what appears to be plaques Troy hands a plaque to Joey Styles as the greatest commentator in XPWEW history Joey rebuttals with a “well the only one but thanks” Troy hands a plaque to Jaques Dudley for being the best person he can be He cues Jaques to enter the stage but after silence he’s like “I’ll find him, I’ll give it to him. I’ve buried the hatchet me and Jaques are cool now.” Troy gets Joel Gertner and Champagne Clausen to grab a big bag of candy “Zero” I love a zero bar! Joel throws bars of candy into the crowd and so does Troy. Troy says now that all the love is in the air. I have the esteemed honor to announce to you the official advisor to XPWEW Ladies and Gentlemen… *Glass breaks STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN appears for the first time in the XPWEW arena and he doesn’t live for from Los Angeleees as he says on his podcast Stone Cold hits all four corners buried in cheers from the crowd. He stops. Clausen again announces him. Stone Cold grabs the mic. runs down joel, then champagne then troy but he’s not here to be an “advisory” Stone Cold don’t rock with that. He’s a sheriff. Sheriff Austin. and i’m gonna make sure everything works. and i’ll be damn any of those wrestlers in the back, Troy says that curt clausen almost looks like a young stunning steve austin. Pizza delivery arrives. Austin: Pizza? Troy: Yes, pizza, do you mind getting it, you are the advisor after all Austin: Wait you want stone colds money? thats what this is about Troy: I thought this is why you sold the broken skull ranch?? Austin: (to the crowd) if you think troy clausen is only out to get my money and stab ,me in the back for his own benefit, give me a hell yeah Crowd: HELL YEAH Troy: no! no! I’m a changed man! Austin: recalls his history with jaques dudley, i know what kinda person ya are Stone Cold didn’t come here to hand over any money and stone cold ain’t here in the EX PEE DUBYA EE DUBYA to do nothing but make damn sure things are running up to make this company, a fixture of the pro wrestling world and as my first act I’d like to get started on the right foot {Austin gets up in Clausen’s face} Austin: DTA - thats a moniker I live my life by. I here now am the sheriff of that locker room and i will call the shots 50/50. Not BS. No shortcuts so I’m gonna warn you now. Don’t get under my skin, don’t ruffle my feathers, don’t test me, basically what I’m saying is don’t piss me off! Now if ya wanna see jake awesome take on the ole’ dragons layer in the main event give me a hell yeah LETS EAT SOME PIZZA Clausen smiles and cheers Gertner already has half a pizza in his mouth Austin gets a couple beers thrown at him, hands them off and then while they all drink one delivers a stone cold stunner to the pizza man *Mick Foley entrance as special guest referee *Slayer entrance *Jake Awesome entrance M9: Slayer vs Jake Awesome *Slayer wins by submission with the helm sharpshooter. {the first time jake awesome has ever lost via submission} Mick lifts Slayer’s arm in victory THE END

[hellstromknight]

Top ten musicians you want to meet in real life?

Well, a couple of them are dead, but…

Freddy Mercury! My biggest regret in life is that I’ll never be able to meet Freddy and hug him. As well as Stan Lee, but there’s still time… Just that I need money.

Jonathan Davis! I fucking love KoRn. One of my favorite bands of all time, and his music helped me through a lot.

James Hetfield! Always been a Metallica fan. I fucking love them and he’d just be awesome to meet.

Brian “Head” Welch! Same reason as JD. Just…Some personal and religious stuff.

Johnny Cash! Cash was actually one of the first musicians I’ve ever listened to, and I have some pretty fond memories of me listening to his music.

David Bowie. He was one hell of a guy.

Corey Taylor. Fucking love Slipknot so much, and I love him. Slipknot’s music helped me throughout some rough times. And I mean, at first, I didn’t like Slipknot, but…

Eminem. If I really need to explain this I’ll slap you. Also, apparently he’s a BIG comic book fan so I wanna talk to him about comics. 

Fred Durst. I know he’s actually a douchebag in real life, but I’d still like to meet him. and find out for myself. Limp Bizkit was actually one of the first harder bands I found out.

Steven Tyler. Aerosmith was and still is my shit.

Shoutouts to: MC Ride, Trent Reznor, Syd Barrett, Robert Plant, Jimi Hendrix, Slash, Damn Albarn, Mick Jagger, etc…

[graines-and-grains]

People that could use a hug:

Chris Evans Brendan Fraiser Patrick Stewart ( for having to be in the emoji movie ) Fred Durst Nobody who works at or for disney Pan Pizza ( the reviewer ) Rudy (Hugh Mungus ) Peytora Jr. Neil Ciecerga Dr. Steve Brule Any hardass from the yakuza series Pearl ( the squidrat not the whale, fuc dat thot ) People who ever got a gold medal in rogue squadron And Quentin Tarantino. He probably wont want it but he needs it.