#wammys first generation

[ale-wastaken]

Roger: A, where's B?

A: Listen, I don't always have to know where B is, he's not my problem.

*Roger raises an eyebrow.*

A: On the roof.

[43501]

Opened my copy of Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases for the first time in a decade and man, I forgot this is a goldmine of info and Mello characterization. It lets us know what kind of person Mello is almost more than the source material. Every time he's on panel/screen he's always so intense, it's fascinating to see him write and kind of get this feeling of "oh, he is also a normal guy outside of those situations".

He says he had one extensive in-person meeting with L, which is backed up by this other post of mine where I point out that, in the anime at least, Mello references having spoken to L personally. If we take it as canon it means L and Mello met at some point between Kira emerging and L leaving England for Japan.

He expresses a strong sense he might die. I've seen people say that he's "narrating from beyond (heh) the grave" and it's nonsensical, but that's not what's happening here. He's just writing while anticipating his death and writing as if these notes may be discovered posthumously.

He thinks that, in the event he dies, Near is the one who will discover his writings. This is interesting to me because it suggests Mello either knows Near knows his whereabouts, or would figure it out and recover his belongings. I actually think this is outright supported by canon - we see Near eating Mello's chocolate in the manga's epilogue. I don't think he instructed his staff to go out and buy that same chocolate, I think that's straight up Mello's stash.

At some point he started identifying less with the "Mello" alias and calling himself Mihael.

He's so sentimental... ending the prologue simply with "Good memories and nightmares". Bro.

"Imagine you were going to kill someone. What do you think would be the most difficult part? .... The correct answer: killing someone." Damn, I love you Mello lol. Also fascinating when you remember that he achieved his status in the mafia by beheading someone. Yes, he would know how hard it is to kill a person.

Mello states that he and Near belong to the "fourth generation" of Wammy's House kids.

He expresses open sympathy for Beyond and his state, twice... based on his own narration and how he portrays B in the course of the story, he definitely relates to B's emotions.

"Perhaps these gods actually wanted a blood soaked world of betrayal and false accusation. Perhaps the entire episode exists as a lesson to teach us the difference between the Almighty and the shinigami." I can't entirely make sense of this, and I don't want to get ahead of myself, but is "Almighty" capitalized here to definitely refer to the divine? Like, the Christian God but in a bit of a sidestepped, roundabout way? Wish I could see the original Japanese text for this line. If anyone has essays/posts about it, please show me.

And on a meta-textual level, the ambiguity of our role/perspective as the reader of these notes is also interesting. We're probably just an omniscient, unmoored observer being told about this set of notes Mello wrote and his line to the effect of "if it happens to turn into [a book]" is tongue-in-cheek. I know there's a slight, hanging implication that Near did in fact publish his notes, but I think that's unlikely since they contain so much sensitive/classified information.

[vamphorica]

MellodraMattic and Queerness: An Essay

Before I begin, I need to make it clear that my thoughts on this subject are directly inspired by this post by overkeehl. I not only recommend but insist that you read it before continuing, as I am going to be exploring a small component of the greater idea that they have already established. Essentially, I am taking the idea of Mello's character being queer-coded and developing it in regards to how MellodraMattic becomes a very validating ship in the context of marginalised sexual and gender identities.

I am also going to touch on internalised queerphobia, so consider this as a warning if that's not something you fancy reading about.

Anyway.

Mello is a distinctly queer character. I don't say this from an entirely projective approach because I think there are plenty of examples throughout Death Note where Mello's visual presentation and characterisation signifies it. His androgyny is the most explicit indicator of nonconformity in relation to traditional gender expression. I fondly remember when I first read Death Note, aged ten, and was convinced that Mello was a girl for several pages. Suffice to say, Mello's appearance is rather ambiguous, making him an adaptable character for one to project queerness onto. We will go into more depth on this later on.

It is also worth mentioning that Mello's style is quite camp. I love the way he dresses and only wish I had the confidence to pull off his outfits, but they are also very ridiculous and inconvenient. One of my Top 10 Mello Moments Ever is when he tails Mogi and Misa, wearing this:

Those sunglasses are doing absolutely nothing to keep him out of sight, but I appreciate the fact that he obviously thinks otherwise. He simply must serve cunt to the detriment of the task at hand.

If I have not convinced you that his style alone is a good hint that he is a queer character, even in the most general sense of the term, there's plenty within Mello's character context that isn't exactly subtle in how he is portrayed as evidently nonconformist. I do think you have to be careful not to equate certain traits with queerness when it may not be appropriate to do so (after all, there's many characteristics relating to neurodiversity that can be identified in those who originated from Wammy's House, and while I won't get into the whole discussion about the overlap there because it's not my place to do so, I also think it would be an interesting subject to explore).

However, it is completely understandable why a lot of queer people see themselves in Mello. As a child, around the age that I think many begin to explore their sense of self, Mello's identity is ultimately threatened by L's death. He is confronted by the prospect of working with (accepting) Near in order to catch Kira. Instead, he runs away, and the narrative that follows is of a man tied up in complex feelings relating to his identity as a 'runner-up'. To put it simply, it conveys queer grief very well — Mello struggles with the fact that who he is as an individual does not align with the expectation that Wammy's House instilled in him from a young age. Similarly, some queer people may find that they must contend with accepting an identity they had been discouraged from exploring as children.

I think for many queer people seeing themselves in Mello, this sense of shame that can be identified as internalised homophobia or transphobia is unfortunately a common experience. It can take a long time to recognise, let alone challenge the societal standards that have been deemed 'normal' or 'correct'. Mello encapsulates this disconnect well in the sense that his goal to defeat Near as a means to prove himself as a worthy successor to L is doomed from the beginning. He was never meant to be the one to become L, and yet he runs straight to his demise in his desperation to receive recognition from an institution that he could never succeed within. I am not suggesting that all queer people go through this level of intense self denial when exploring their identities, but I think it ought to be appreciated that through Mello, there are a plenty of parallels that reflect the complexities of discovering your sexuality and gender identity.

Additionally, if you'll excuse me posting two rather grim examples of objectification in the manga, it is worth noting that Mello, in close proximity to two naked women, does not seem remotely interested in their bodies, which might suggest a queer identity on a very shallow level. I do think, given how misogynistic almost all the male (and some of the female) characters in Death Note can be, Mello is notable in the sense that he doesn't actively discriminate against the female characters. He treats both genders like shit. Feminist icon.

Mello is very easy to project an assortment of queer identities onto. For what it's worth, I headcanon him as bisexual and FtM, but I know you are not reading this essay for my personal projections. You can consider Mello as MtF, asexual, gay, nonbinary — all of these identities can easily be validated within the canon context because Mello is so versatile while still being a developed and nuanced character. His story mirrors so much of the struggle that queer people contend with, and while I think it is a massive shame that it isn't resolved, I think that in itself only exemplifies the complicated nature of identity.

So, where does Matt come into all of this?

It is important to remember that Matt as a character was created for Mello. In the main series, it isn't even mentioned that Matt is a Wammy's kid, this information only being revealed in 'Death Note 13: How to Read'. However, this is crucial knowledge because it conveys the very essence of what makes MellodraMattic so great.

I love Mello, I really do, but he is cruel and selfish, in addition to being arguably one of the most dangerous characters in the series. For those who might relate to him for any of the reasons I have given thus far, it is still important to understand that Mello is not a decent person. He is deeply flawed, and as much as I like to joke that his crimes are perfectly fine actually, I can still appreciate that he is not meant to be regarded as an 'good' character, even if he is on the right side as far as Kira is concerned. His behaviour is very much correlated with his sense of inferiority, so in this case, his identity struggles do not excuse his behaviour, but they can explain it.

Yet, despite all of this, Matt remains by his side, regardless. While there's a general consensus that the two were separated for some time after Mello ran away, they eventually reunite and work together. In these brief moments, we can still gain a good insight into their relationship dynamic from the way they speak to one another. For instance, Matt is cheeky in a manner that the reader would not expect Mello to tolerate. Yet the patience in how he responds to Matt's insolence almost appears uncharacteristic. I am of the belief that Mello is not a highly reactionary character, despite how the series tries to portray him as such, and this calm composure he is capable of can best be seen through his interactions with Matt.

There is a real familiarity between the two men that I don't think is comparable to any other relationship in Death Note. For example, in the image below, Matt is complaining about a task Mello has assigned him, one that isn't exactly difficult, and yet he's already distracted. Rather than get frustrated, a response we would expect from Mello, he answers Matt gently.

I appreciate these moments are few and far between (for fuck's sake, there's only two panels that feature the both of them) but I don't think I'm reading into it too much. I think they're genuinely suited for each other, which is, of course, because Matt was written for Mello. Their chemistry is dependent on the latter canonically.

Matt brings out the more approachable side of Mello because Mello does not see Matt as a threat that he must remain guarded around. If we as readers have become acquainted with Mello through his act of cruelty, albeit as a means of survival, we must assume Matt is familiar with this side of Mello, too. However, it doesn't deter Matt, nor does it scare him. Matt is completely loyal to the very end, and while such writing is perhaps a little superficial, I think it does emphasise the point that Mello has someone who will put his life on the line for him and God, I don't know. I think you have to read that as love to at least some extent.

Mello is a complicated character, with plenty of attributes suggesting that he is queer. This only further contributed to his plot line that centres an identity struggle, which speaks to those who fall outside of cishetnormativity. Unable to reconcile his sense of self with the expectations placed upon him, Mello becomes ruthless. Yet, in spite of these flaws, he has Matt. He represents a kind of hope, I think, that those who connect to Mello through his queerness and subsequent struggles can gravitate towards. A hope that there's someone who will accept every aspect of your identity regardless, that there will be someone you can be yourself around.

To me, MellodraMattic is my favourite ship because I love Mello and Matt, and the way in which they interact with one another. It is also that initial identification with Mello, that makes Matt's character and their relationship more meaningful, an example of the fact that there'll always be someone who not only accepts, but loves you, regardless of the mess.

I think that's beautiful. 🍫🎮

[reinathevocaloid]

My LawLight Fic Rec

(aka my ongoing list of all my fav fics)

New Game by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

Light is 95% certain he is Kira and, if that's the case, he needs to reclaim his memories, his power and kill L. It's the only way to survive. But that's going to be a little complicated handcuffed to the world's greatest detective. Things get petty, then elaborate, and before long he's starting to wonder if he wants L dead half as much as he needs him dead.

In The Eyes of God by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

After the Yellow Box Warehouse ends with a decisive victory for Kira all of Light’s enemies are dead. Nothing stands in his way. But, somehow, he still feels empty. Ryuk offers him a deal; his eyes in exchange for the resurrection of one human. Light doesn’t even hesitate. He knows exactly who he wants to bring back.

Charming by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

Japan, 2021. The Great Terror could manifest to fight the Prince any day now but the story is so predictable most people are more interested in the new iphone. Frankly, after ten reincarnations, Light is sick of always losing to some stuck up Prince. This time he’s going to change the story. This time he’s going to get his own happily ever after.

Heirs and Spares by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

L and Light are all that remain of the first generation of Wammy House kids. L's the world's greatest detective and Light runs the House cultivating a new generation of geniuses into useful positions. They're rivals first and family second. But Watari suggests, in case of emergencies, it makes sense for them to legally be each other's next of kin. Light's not so sure he wants to marry L, despite the logic of the suggestion, but L's seemingly on board with the idea. Or is it his idea in the first place…?

Gossip Merchant by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

Light makes a living selling secrets. When the mysterious L approaches her asking for her help to complete a commission from the Queen, Light knows immediately there’s something L is not telling her and, whatever it is L needs, he needs to get it from her.

The Taming of Light Yagami by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

For the first time since Naomi's death L is in love, desperately in love, with his assistant Light Yagami. But Light is unwilling to take things to the next level until L untangles his grief from Naomi's loss and mends his fractured relationships with the people left behind.

The Many Forms of Blessings by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

Light was taken in by Wammy House after he lost his family in the accident. Now eighteen he finds it’s a tradition at the house that the best of every generation meet the mysterious creature who lives in the catacombs under the estate; L. Light is reluctant and that unease proves well placed when it’s revealed the graduates L likes never leave the underground.

Prime Suspect by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

L rubs his thumb against his lip, “and you suspect you know who Kira is?” “I’m Kira.” Light replies. “I see,” L murmurs, “so this is a confession?” “Of sorts,” Light prefaces. “That is to say; I was Kira, until three days ago, but now I need your help to prove it and stop whatever I’ve put in motion.” “You better start from the beginning.”

Minutes to Midnight by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

“I think,” Light leans close. “You like Kira more than Light Yagami.” L scoffs, pulling away. “Come to bed, Light.” And that’s it, isn’t it? The truth and the solution hit Light in a single dazzling epiphany. L has to fall in love with him. L has to fall desperately, deeply, in love with him to live.

Unspeakable by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

The last thing Light remembers is the helicopter, catching Higuchi, before he wakes up locked in a penthouse bathroom with a bottle of pills and a video from Kira. From an older version of himself. “Take the pills, and don’t trust a word L says,” Kira declares. But since when has Kira been trust worthy? (Can be read solo, or taken as a sequel to "Minutes to Midnight")

Waving Through a Window by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

Figures Light wouldn't discover L was his soulmate till after both their deaths. Well, no matter now. They're not in Mu which means they've still got time to pull off one more grand scheme. All depends if Light can persuade L to work with him again in the Realm of the Dead. Annoyingly, those damn handcuffs might come in handy…

Problematic by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

Beyond, having escaped from the California super-max, breaks into L's penthouse with wicked intent. He quickly discovers that after all these years L has taken on an investigative/life partner; Light Yagami. The detectives and Beyond spend the next twelve hours involved in a tense game of cat and mouse in the apartment while Beyond's dangerous newfound fascination with Light grows.

Self Defence by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

Boyfriends are a lot of trouble, Light is learning. Girlfriends are easier to manage, certainly. That said while boyfriends are objectively more problematic they’re also more attractive in spades. Light chews a shaggy edge of fingernail on his pinkie, sitting on the bench, while L sets up the private gym in the current headquarters they’re operating out of. “On a scale from one to ten, how married to the idea of training are you?” Light pitches, testing the waters as L throws down the last foam mat in the centre of the cleared space.

Slow to Boil by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

L has loved Kira since he knew there was a Kira to love. Unfortunately for him Light Yagami doesn’t quite understand the whole process of being seduced so L will have to take the frog in the pot approach to taming this beast.

Take Out by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

L misses the days he could shut Light up for a full fifteen minutes by tying a cherry stem with his tongue. They're older now, more dangerous. Kinkier?

High Risk by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

They’re in the final round of their game. With his memories back Light is no longer the romantic, innocent, person L’s come to know and love during the 91 days of the Yotsuba case. Kira’s back and that promises trouble but what neither of them accounted for is a positive pregnancy test.

Unknown by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

L has been in Light’s life for several years now and, over time, one thing has become steadily more and more obvious. No one actually knows Light. It’s not always an insidious thing, part of a scheme, it’s just something about the way Light talks really. He has a way of directing conversation away with subtle, gentle, tactics and he’s more interested in being likeable than being honest. But L wants to know everything.

Room Service by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

Light Yagami is a sex worker. The mysterious Rue Ryuzaki is his best client. Or is that favourite client…?

Roleplay by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

"Pretend you're Kira." "I'm not--" "For the purpose of this conversation pretend you are. Please." 5am, in their suite at taskforce headquarters, handcuffed together, L proposes a thought exercise.

Rabbit Holes by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

L Lawliet, head programmer and engineer for W&W Cybernetics, arrives at Tokyo-3 to fix a malfunction that killed eight people. The problem is that 'malfunction' turns out to be a newly sentient super computer called Kira. L disconnects him from the rest of the installation to begin a historic interrogation, but Kira might not be as defanged as L believes.

The Easy Way by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

“Are you going to be reasonable?” Light demands. “I’m a little busy here, Light,” L grunts, as if he’s talking to a toddler or an ill-tempered cat. “Why don’t you go to bed? I’ll join you later. I think I’m almost done.” Light raps his nails on the shiny surface of L’s desk. “Last warning.” “Goodnight Darling,” L sings, not looking up from his puzzle.

Hysteria by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

L concludes Light has a bad case of hysteria, a medical condition from the nineteenth century primarily treated with orgasms. Clearly, this is the only way to stop the Kira killings.

Countdown by TrashKing (Vanya_Deyja)

What if you could change the entire course of your life by just forgetting to put your watch on one day?

summer passes (i remain behind in the past) by chrysanthmilk

“Light-kun…?” L murmurs, extending a hand to rest on his shoulder. Light’s head snaps up, and L is confronted with a gaze he hadn’t seen in six years, when Light had last touched a Death Note. His scream had sounded the same: the loss of innocence. “L,” he purrs. L goes cold. He withdraws his hand. “Kira-kun," he greets. "It’s been a while.”

Extrajudicial by Boo_Yeah

L knows that Light Yagami is guilty. And he is forced to accept that he will never be able to prove it. So, just this once, he decides to break his principles and go above the law. He kidnaps Light and takes him to Wammy's house. He's sure that having the kids interact with a real-life mass murderer will be a very educational experience indeed. Or: Light is Kira, L is sick of how easily manipulated the police are, and he secretly wants to see what will happen if he forces Light into a domestic situation with children just as intelligent as he is.

Change OR the one where L and Light get married by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

L wasn’t a good driver; he could admit that, to himself. Since he and Quillsh were the only ones who knew the route to the old Wammy summer home, L wasn’t surprised to be behind the wheel. (Thankful, maybe, that he had the forethought to secure this little automatic Volkswagen rather than flounder on the stick shift Quillsh always tried to teach him.) He dared to be happy about his driver role, even; it was appropriate that he chauffeured Light to where they’d be married in a day’s time. Something romantic about crossing the threshold, carrying his love into his world – L stuck out his tongue. Long drives made him corny.

sit and stay awhile by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

"The obsession prodded again, pushing at him, but Light didn’t let it near his mouth. He shoved it down, hard, until it thundered down the cellar stairs of his mind palace. Sulking below all his appropriate thoughts was the insistent wanting that made him avoid L’s gaze – the desire to sit in L’s lap."

best practices by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

Light has been climbing the corporate ladder at a big-time company thanks to his boss-with-benefits relationship with the CEO - otherwise known as L. But when his desire for the top floor office drives him to make a salacious deal, he's in for long, provocative meeting with high-ass stakes. Will his and L's horniness raise the corporate synergy? Or are there still surprises to be found in those expensive suits?

the forest holds strange creatures by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

"He’s not what Light expected. For one, the creature wears clothes—beat up jeans and a hole-ridden white sweater. All over his skin is mossy bark and his hands are gnarled, fingernails black and grimy. Dark thatches of unevenly cut hair grow from his head with leaves caught in the waves. He stares at Light from wide coal black eyes. When he opens his mouth, all his teeth are sharp."

Kept by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

"In the miasma of his flaccid alpha/omega relationships, Light just assumes his type is sycophants. Any pleasure gained from them is all manipulation, no truth. Yet, there is L, who wields his alpha nature like a scepter molded to suit only his hand, who never lets Light gain ground. He’ll move first, speak with clipped authority, and his eyes rove over Light with blanket mistrust. To be seen as a threat by an alpha – a person to be tamed – surprises and captivates Light. God, but he wants to be fucked by L."

the chains that bind us by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

Air rushed out Light’s nose. His mind raced through cue cards, different ways to respond. A good boy’s answer of no, thank you; a mischievous but noncommittal I don’t kiss and tell; and a door-slam of shut up! Yet his tongue clicked past each response toward the most dangerous of all: the truth. "I dreamed about you," he said, "and you wrapped me in your chains until I couldn’t breathe. And you know what?" Light lowered his hand into his briefs, and his finger brushed his cock – the first touch it had since he woke up. A moan struck open his mouth; his body roiled from one caress. "I woke up soaking wet, Ryuzaki. All because I dreamed about you tying me up."

The Light of the Moon by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

L is a vampire; L bit Light on the wrist. What was Light supposed to do - NOT drug the vampire and demand the truth? But what if that dang vamp doesn't stay down, and starts to get closer to Light? Aw geez. Looks like Light's in a real rocky situation, folks. Hopefully this doesn't awaken anything in him!

Possession by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

when Light’s family finds out he’s Kira, they perform a ritual killing to purify the demon from his body. Light’s final thoughts are a plea to make a deal with whatever’s listening so he can come back to life and finish his work as Kira. Good thing a certain demon is always listening for virgin sacrifices and it just so happens Light’s been too busy to, well, get busy. But will Light be able to pay the demon’s big price to get back in the mortal world?

little animals by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

L and Light have a fun time in their backyard. Alternate universe where L is a werewolf, which does make things a lot more fun.

if at first you don't succeed by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

“Are you saying you’ve never gone down on anyone? Never?” “That’s what I said.” Light let annoyance thread through his answer. After a moment, his tense posture relaxed and a more familiar smugness overtook him. “It’s actually sort of an honor, I think. You’re the only person I’ve ever wanted to give head to.”

Buried Alive by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

"His favorite room is the greenhouse; with the vegetation labeled by small markers written in L’s cramped kanji; the fresh misted scent of fertilizer and recycled water; and clear glass panels build a perfect view into the desecrated world above ground."

in your shoes by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

"For a long time, L thrived on his own difference: how he stood away from others, how they were smaller or bigger than him in unappealing ways. Yet with Light, being near the same size in everything was comforting – that he could slip into L’s clothes, his home, his life, without a wrinkle. A shared shoe size was a cipher for a shared consciousness, a knowledge between the two of them no one else had."

so glad you're home by avoidfilledwithcelluloid

"Only an hour passed since L arrived back home at his favorite of their properties: a small remote cabin far enough into the woods for them to never worry about a neighbor overhearing their play. What an hour it had been, though, with Light kneeling at the door in panties, stockings, ears, and a tail plug as well as one of L’s white shirts. The case L’d been on had been boring and its weight soaked into his bones. And yet, seeing his husband and hearing in-person for the first time in three weeks his smooth voice released the anchor dragged behind L. He wrapped his kitten in his arms and they were in the bedroom before his suitcases hit the floor."

Metanoia by theredplace

After arresting Light for his crimes against humanity, L has to sentence him to death, but there’s a change of plans.

Beyond the Skyscraper by theredplace

It was Ryuzaki's job to poke and prod until he inevitably snapped Light's psyche in two. Light was confident he could handle the stress and the constant accusations, but at night, when his mind ran rampant, he wasn't as sure of himself. The monsters under the bed weren't real, but Kira certainly was.

Body Glitter by theredplace

The golden rule of every strip club is to never have sex with the dancers. Light decides that L’s the exception.

In your veins, in your grave by olympiansally

Light is used to bringing people back from the dead, he is used to watching their lifeless bodies fall back into their graves again once their families get a last goodbye. He's not used to a corpse being able to outsmart him though. Or to want to see them again.

Wishing upon a star to hear you come apart by olympiansally

Light is a brilliant director who doesn't make mistakes, but he can't seem to shake this annoying editor's insistence that there's something wrong with the sex scene of his latest film.

Worship me like I'm yours by olympiansally

The angel decorations on L and Light's new Christmas tree spark some feelings about worshiping, and there's no better way of reassuring Light that he's the only God in L's life than by fucking the knowledge into him.

There you are, welcome back by olympiansally

A little bathtub hurt/comfort set after Light gets his memories back and has to come to terms with having to kill the one person who truly sees him enough to have always seen all of him.

Only in my dreams by laulieta

Some people have the ability to occasionally see and dream of red threads of fate. Light Yagami can't even imagine himself being happy with a soulmate, until, while working on a case, he meets the great detective L.

Kokuhaku by laulieta

After Light gives up being Kira and L no longer considers him his prisoner, almost everything is sorted out. The only thing left are those annoying feelings lodged in Light's chest. Maybe he should confess?

Give me one good honest kiss (and I'll be alright) by laulieta

Misa has a genius idea to make Light jealous enough to pay her more attention, but it doesn't work in the direction she expected. L has his own ideas, too.

in the absence of light by velvetvice

in the absence of light, they finally see each other clearly.

who's winning now? by velvetvice

L puts Light in his place.

Life in Color by Rachello344

Light had a lot of expectations for his first meeting with the legendary detective, L. None of them involved how very strange the man was, nor the way he literally filled Light's world with color. Of all the people who could have been his soul mate, L was certainly… unexpected.

(Please) Stay by Rachello344

When L finally comes home from case-related travel, he and Light spend the night 'reconnecting.'

Lipstick Kisses by Rachello344

In order to catch a notorious gangster, Light goes undercover--it turns out, he's the man's type. Now if only L can survive watching Light flirt with a man while he's looking… particularly attractive. He can only hope.

February Air by BlueberryAsh

She doesn't comprehend, but she feels. (AU, in which Kira was apparently mysteriously bested by a certain clever detective.)

Rest by BlueberryAsh

Dark blue, and Light feels as though she's under the ocean.

And I Don't Want Your Pity, I Just Want Somebody Near Me by iamtheleftbrain

Light has a nightmare and L wants to help, so they take a car ride. (this is part one of this author's amazing series of Lawlight Oneshots)

(Not) According to Plan by FlamesRise

Light is smart, successful in his career despite his age, and has learned how to expertly control the people around him to his own benefit. There's just one problem, one person who still stands in his way - his arrogant, rude, egotistical, insufferable supervisor. Light will do anything to win this game against him and get what he wants. Anything. What he doesn't know is that he's not the only one who's willing to play dirty. (this is the first part of this author's incredible ongoing Lawlight lawyers AU series)

all in a day's work by benzaaldehyde

L and Light are porn stars. yeah.

we have been lied to by Nilahxapiel

AU (Black Mirror). All of society is regimented by a Five Star social scale, voting on each interaction, photo, and anecdote. Keeping up is practically a full time job, but fortunately, Light Yagami excels at smiling and lying through his teeth. It’s no wonder he becomes one of the youngest with a 4.5+ Star rating in existence, all while carefully pretending to be apathetic to the whole system. A misunderstanding avalanches, leaving Light in with less than half his usual Rank in a matter of hours. He reacts as any wrongfully accused person (who is not at all to blame) would. He fucks up. Bad. Over and over.

Friends with (Financial) Benefits by ready4sin

Light had been a lot of things in his life. An honor student, a hard-working son, an honor student, a great brother, an honor student, but he never had been and never would be some filthy whore. Still, a hundred-thousand dollars upfront? It didn’t matter what the contract said. He had to sign it. He flipped through all sixty-five pages, signing his initials when needed and his full name, Light Yagami, at the end with a beautiful little flourish. After all, what did he have to lose? Except for his dignity, of course. And he had everything to gain.

Technical Difficulties by draw_thy_sword

Light Yagami's patience and pussy are put to the test when his arrogant, sentient AI comes to life purely to spite him.

How L Increases His Thinking Power By More Than 40% by WizardPartyForever

This case is difficult; Light and L resort to multitasking.

light of his life (fire in his loins) by naberiuz

“Does Light have any experience?” L whispers to his ear. Light grits his teeth, seething. In another scenario, he would have admitted the truth. But this was L who held everything over his head, who makes Light feel inadequate, like he’s still just a child who needs to be gently guided through every single thing. “Who do you take me for?” He replies irritably. (In the most plain sense, Light loses his virginity to his boss.)

rewards for fools by autumnstar88

Light Yagami had planned to remember he was Kira. However, he hadn’t planned to be remembering that the night before he’d promised to give L a reward for their hard work all these long months.

The Vampire of Kanto by Anonymous

Light is grounded for unjust reasons, and plans to spend the whole night in his room to sulk in peace. Until Sayu's babysitter comes to introduce himself, and Light realizes this may not be a human he's talking to…

The Games We Play by gayraito (Mercurial_Magic)

Light decides to court trouble, and L is unusually receptive to intrigue.

the days are much colder there by rawrlight

Light is a part-time barista, and L is his mysterious customer. They take an interest in each other.

let's meet at your convenience (store) by rawrlight

Light, and L, and learning how to be perfectly normal.

Your Book's Overdue (And Our Date is, Too) by rawrlight

Light Yagami works a part-time job at his university's library, and all is well until a strange, headache-inducing new arrival shows up.

glass half full, i'd probably just drink that too! by rawrlight

Light meets L at a college party that both of them regret going to.

I’ll continue to add more to this list as I gain more favs!!!

[applestorms]

@jessaerys ok shit this took a while but WHATEVER. wammy's lore collection here we go :3c less analysis this time, this is mostly just to archive the main known details we have in canon about the house, and also the people from there more generally. however much you wanna accept all this/take it at face value is up to You, Dear Reader (and tbh y'all should just read all these if ur curious since they're all pretty short + have Interesting narrators. i'll include links to free versions). do whatever you want forever etc. etc. also, SPOILERS. obviously.

LABB: (listen here)

no this book isn't written by ohba. yes i'm including it. shush. anyways, most of the lore in this comes from mello's vague comments about beyond's backstory, but there's a Lot of interesting things established in this, so. here's a bunch of notable quotes. if you're not already familiar, please keep in mind that the narrator of this novel is mello, writing at some point shortly before his death.

"L. The century's greatest detective. In light of his staggering mental abilities, L died an unjust and untimely death. In the public record alone he solved over 3,500 difficult crimes, and sent three times that number of degenerates to prison. He wielded incredible power, was able to mobilize every investigative bureau in the entire world, and was applauded generously for his efforts. And during it all, he never showed his face." (pg. 10)

"So, what you're reading now are my notes about L. It's a dying message, not from me, and not directed at the world. The person who will most likely read this first will probably be that big-headed twit Near. But if that's the case, I will not tell him to shred or burn these pages. If it causes him pain to discover that I knew things about L that he did not, then that's fine." (pg. 10-11)

"I am one of the few people who ever met L as L. When and how I met him...this is the single most valuable memory I have, and I will not write it here, but on that occasion L related to me three stories of his exploits, and the episode involving Beyond Birthday was one of these." (pg. 11)

"Obviously, it never came to light that L--and more importantly, Wammy's House, which raised me until I was fifteen--was deeply connected to the matter, but in fact, they were. L, on principle, never got involved in a case unless there were more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake, and this is the real reason why he belatedly, but aggressively, involved himself in this little case, which only ever had three or four victims. I will explain further in the pages that follow, but for this reason, the case of the Los Angeles BB murders is a watershed event for L, for me, and even for Kira. It was a monumental event for all of us. Why? Because this is the case where L first introduced himself as Ryuzaki." (pg. 11)

"For any one else but those two [Near and Kira], my identity may be of no interest, but I am the old world's runner-up, the best dresser that died like a dog, Mihael Keehl. I once called myself Mello and was addressed by that name, but that was a long time ago. Good memories and nightmares." (pg. 12)

"She [Naomi Misora] briefly considered the idea that Raye Penber, or someone else, was playing a practical joke on her, but she found it hard to believe that anyone would be so bold to sign their name as such. L never revealed himself in public or in private, but Misora had heard several horror stories about what happened to detectives who tried passing themselves off as L. It was safe to say that no one would dare use his name, even in jest." (pg. 18)

"This was L, so he was undoubtedly solving several other difficult cases all at once. Cases all over the world. For him, this case was just one of many parallel investigations. How else could he maintain his reputation as the world's greatest detective? The century's greatest detective, L. The detective with no clients." (pg. 35)

"L had earned a certain degree of hostility from other detectives, and the jealous ones called him a hermit detective, or a computer detective, but neither of these is a particularly accurate representation of the truth. Naomi Misora had also tended to think of L as an armchair detective, but in fact, L was quite the opposite, a very active, aggressive individual. [swoon.] While he had absolutely no interest in social connections, he was certainly not the kind of detective to shut himself up in a dark room with the shades drawn and refuse to come out. It is now common knowledge that the three great post war detectives, L, Eraldo Coil and Danuve were all actually the same person. Certainly, anyone reading these notes is almost certain to know...though they may not know that L engaged in a war with the real Eraldo Coil, and the real Danuve, and emerged victorious, claiming their detective codes. The details of this detective war I will save for another occasion, but in addition to those three names, L possessed many other detective codes. I have no idea how many, but there were at least three digits' worth. And quite a number of those were fairly public detectives--just like, as anyone reading these notes must know, he appeared before Kira, calling himself Ryuzaki or Ryuga Hideki. Of course, Naomi Misora had no way of knowing this, but in my opinion, the name L was, for him, just one of many. He never had any direct connection to that identity, he never thought of himself as L--it was just the most famous and most powerful of the many detective codes he used during his life. The name had its uses, but lacked obscurity. L had a real name that nobody knew, and nobody will ever know, but a name which only he knew never defined him. I sometimes wonder if L himself ever knew exactly which name was written in the Death Note, which name it was that killed him. I wonder." (pg. 43-44)

"If we must discuss why L so adamantly refused to reveal himself, we can explain it very simply: doing so was dangerous. Very dangerous. While the world leaders should make efforts to ensure the safety of all the finest minds, not only for detectives, the fact is that the current societal systems do not allow for this, and L believed he had no choice but to protect his mind under his own power. By simple arithmetic, L's ability in 2002 was the equivalent of five ordinary investigative bureaus, and seven intelligence agencies (and by the time he faced off against Kira, those numbers had leapt upward several more notches). This is easy to think of as a reason to respect and admire someone, but let me say this as clearly as possible: that much ability in one human is extremely dangerous. Modern danger management techniques rely heavily on defusing risk, but his very existence was the exact opposite. In other words, if someone was planning to commit a crime, they would greatly increase their chances of getting away with it by simply killing L before they began. That was why L hid his identity. Not because he was shy, or because he never left the house. To ensure his own safety. For a detective of L's ability, self-preservation and the preservation of world peace were one and the same, and it would not be correct to describe his actions as cowardly or self-centered." (pg. 69 nice)

"So whenever L was working, he would usually have someone else as his public face--and in this particular case, the FBI agent Naomi Misora was filling that role." (pg. 70)

"Beyond Birthday had the eyes of a shinigami congenitally. It was not particularly difficult for him to track down people with the initials B.B. or find people who were fated to die on a certain day at a certain time." (pg. 94)

"Normally contact with a shinigami was a prerequisite for acquisition, but Beyond Birthday had traded nothing--he had seen through those eyes since before he could remember. He knew your name before you said it. He knew the time of death of every person he met." (pg. 94)

"You might think [the eyes] would hardly be useful without a Death Note, but that is simply not the case. The ability to see someone's remaining life is the ability to see death. Death, death, death. Beyond Birthday lived his life unceasingly reminded that all humans would eventually die. From the time he was born he knew the day his father would be attacked by a thug and die, knew the day his mother would die in a train crash. He had these eyes before he was born, which is why he called himself Beyond Birthday. Which is why a child as strange as he was taken in by our home, sweet home--Wammy's House. He was B. The second child in Wammy's House." (pg. 94-95)

"The competition between L and B. L and B's puzzle. 'If L's a genius, then B's an extreme genius. If L's a freak, then B's an extreme freak. Now it's time to get ready. There are things I must do before B can surpass L. Henh henh henh henh.' This thought was the only thing that made him laugh without needing to think about it. And those that know will recognize the laugh of the shinigami. Still grinning to himself, he faced the mirror, brushed his hair, and began applying his makeup. The reflection of himself in the mirror. Himself. As always, he could not see his own time of death. No more than he could see the death of the world." (pg. 96)

"We were raised at Wammy's House in England, in Winchester, as L's successors, as L's alternatives, but that does not mean we knew anything more about L than anyone else. Including myself, only a few of us ever met L as L, and even I knew nothing about L before he met Watari--Quillish Wammy, the genius inventor who founded Wammy's House. Nobody knows what's going on in L's head. But even so, I know how Watari felt. Looking at L's incredible talents from the perspective of an inventor--of course he wanted to make a copy, of course he wanted to create a backup. Anyone would feel the same. As I have already explained, L never appeared in public. L knew that his own death would increase the crime rate all over the world by a few dozen percentage points. But what if they could copy him? What if they could make a backup? That was us. L's children, gathered from all corners of the world.

"But even for a genius like Watari, creating a fake L was easier said than done. Even for Near and I, who were said to be the closest to L...the more we tried to be like him, the closer we got, the father away he was, like chasing a mirage. So I hardly need to tell you what it was like when Wammy's House was first founded, when he was still experimenting. The first child, A, was unable to handle the pressure of living up to L and took his own life, and the second child, Beyond Birthday, was brilliant and deviant. B stood for Backup.

"But B tried to surpass L, not become him...no, that might not be right. I have no way of knowing the inner workings of his mind. He...their generation was not like the fourth generation, with Near and I, all the children bound only to the code with the serial L. They were prototypes, never even given the L code, expected to fail. I prefer to refrain from idle speculation based on my own experiences, but, well, Beyond Birthday may have thought something like this: As long as there was L, B would never be L. As long as the original existed, the copy was always a copy." (pg. 104-105)

"The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases. L.A.B.B.--L is After Beyond Birthday. This reading is why I think this name is so much closer to the killer's intentions than the Wara Ningyo Murders, or the Los Angeles Serial Locked Room Killings. I wasn't talking about the names on a purely stylistic basis. Whether Beyond Birthday had put that much thought into it I have no idea, but if he had a specific reason for choosing to commit his murders in L.A., then that is probably why. I am sure he had a much more personal obsession with L as an individual than Near or I ever did. I can understand why someone would become a criminal in order to fight against a detective, which is why I can write something like this, but even so. What did he hope to accomplish by killing unrelated people? Or perhaps B simply wanted to meet L. Then he could use the eyes of the shinigami he'd been born with and see L's real name, see when L would die. He would be able to figure out who L was. Beyond Birthday had never told anyone that he had the eyes of a shinigami, and it would not surprise me at all if he believed himself to be some kind of shinigami." (pg. 105-106)

"Beyond Birthday challenged L. And L accepted the challenge. To put it bluntly, the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases were nothing but an internal struggle, a civil war within our home, sweet home-- Wammy's House. Unfortunate for the victims that got mixed up in it, but even if Beyond Birthday had not killed them, all those victims were fated to die that day, at that time, for some other reason, so logically and morally, their deaths were unavoidable. So in the strictest sense of the word, the only one who really got mixed up in their war was Naomi Misora." (pg. 106)

"L was said to never move on a case unless there were more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake. The only exceptions to this were cases at difficulty level L (extremely fitting), or when L had personal reasons compelling him to get involved. The Los Angeles BB Murders were both of these. I hardly need to point out the difficulty by this stage of the story, and L was essentially fighting his own dead copy. [harsh, dude.] The current head of Wammy's House had told Quillish Wammy/Watari, who had told L about B's disappearance in May, and ever since L had been looking for him even as he solved other cases. Wammy's House only knew him as B--they did not know his real name, Beyond Birthday, so this search was near impossible, but L knew who the killer was. He had not been looking for a killer so much as he was looking for a case. L had been waiting, expecting Beyond Birthday to do something to challenge him. L could move any policeman in the world, but in this case, he could not ask anyone for help except Naomi Misora...more than likely, for this reason. I don't think L really put that much stock in honor, but everyone is embarrassed by their own sins, and nobody wants those missteps to become public knowledge. L was the goal of everyone in Wammy's House. Every one of us wanted to surpass him. To step over him. To step on him. M did, N did, and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal." (pg. 116-117)

"No matter what she did, she had no way of knowing. That this killer, Beyond Birthday, could tell someone's name and time of death just by looking at their face, that he had been born with the eyes of a shinigami--she had no way of knowing that fake names were useless with him, completely and utterly pointless. How could she have known? Even Beyond Birthday himself could not explain how he had been born with the eyes of the shinigami, how he could use them with no payment, with no arrangement. Neither Misora nor L knew why, and, obviously, neither do I. The closest thing to an explanation I can offer is that there are shinigami stupid enough to drop their notebooks in our world, so there might well be shinigami stupid enough to drop their eyes." (pg. 193-140)

"'So, Naomi Misora...' said L, wrapping up. But Misora hastily stammered, 'Um, er, L...' but then she hesitated, not sure if she should ask this or not. 'You...know the killer, right?' 'Yes, as I said. He is B.' 'I don't mean like that...I mean, he's someone you know personally?' On the 16th, L had said that he had known the killer was B, and she had sort of known ever since, but two days before, L had said something that changed her guess to conviction. Whatever you do, please catch the killer. The century's greatest detective, L, would never say that about some ordinary indiscriminate serial killer. And the way his letter was just one letter long... 'Yes,' the synthetic voice agreed." (pg. 144-145)

"'I have nothing to do with him,' L said. 'To be completely accurate, I do not even know B. He is simply someone I am aware of. But none of this affects my judgement. Certainly, I was interested in this case, and began to investigate it because I knew who the killer was. But that did not alter the way I investigated it, or the manner in which my investigation proceeded. Naomi Misora, I cannot overlook evil. I cannot forgive it. It does not matter if I know the person who commits evil or not. I am only interested in justice.'" (pg. 145)

"My great and respected predecessor, the man whose actions were a strong influence on me personally, B, B.B., Beyond Birthday--obviously, I need hardly explain again that the murders themselves were not his purpose. So what was he doing? Again, I hardly need to explain--he was challenging the man he copied, the century's greatest detective L. A matter of winning or losing. A contest." (pg. 159)

"Since L could solve every case no matter how challenging, if he created a case so difficult that L as unable to solve it, B would have defeated L." (pg. 159)

"He knew that the moment he took action Wammy's House and Watari would alert L, so he did not even bother trying to stop them. He could only guess at which stage of his plan L would start to come after him, so he prepared things carefully, ready for L's entrance at any point." (pg. 159)

"B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki--L.L. For anyone from Wammy's House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter--and Beyond Birthday seized this case as his chance. even Naomi Misora knew what had happened to detectives falsely identifying themselves as L, and B was from Wammy's House, so he knew this better than anyone--so this choice suggests the strength of his decision. He never once intended to survive--had had made up his mind. He was ready." (pg. 160) [trans. note: the name "Rue" in Japanese, ルエ (ru-e), is an anagram of エル (e-ru), which is how L is pronounced.]

"Naturally, his face and fingerprints would burn as well--he had always disguised himself with heavy makeup while he was with Misora, and he never left a picture behind, so even if someone directly affiliated with Wammy's House inspected the body, they would have no idea that Rue Ryuzaki/Beyond Birthday was B from Wammy's House. He had left nothing to connect Beyond Birthday to B." (pg. 162)

"B was presenting the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases to L as a case that could never be solved. That L could never solve. In other words, he had never prepared any clear solution to it--since the killer had committed suicide, disguised as the fourth victim, there was no longer a killer to catch, and no clues left to catch him with." (pg. 163)

"My poor, poor predecessor. Not only was he utterly and completely defeated, but he survived, driving home his embarrassment...he must have longed for death. Accept my condolences, B." (pg. 169-170)

"If I had space left over I had intended to carry right on into the other two stories I heard from L: the story of the detective war between the three greatest detectives, all solving that infamous bio-terror case, with guest appearances by the last of the alphabet, the first X to the first Z from Wammy's House; and the story of how the world's greatest inventor, Quillish Wammy, aka Watari, had first met L, then about eight year's old--the case that gave birth to the century's greatest detective, the Winchester Mad Bombings that occurred just after the third World War. But however objectively I look at things, I do not have the space or the time. Oh well." (pg. 170)

"She had spoken to L only once after the killer was arrested. He thanked her for helping to solve the case, and told her just a little about the background of the case. That B had been a candidate to succeed L, and that the pressure of that had driven him off track." (pg. 171)

"And a few years after his arrest, on January 21st, 2004, serving a life sentence in a California prison, Beyond Birthday died of a mysterious heart attack." (pg. 173)

C-KIRA: (read here)

near grief :pensive: pretty sure this was animated in the anime movie thing?? tbh i still need to watch that. Very interesting as some of the most recent post-main story lore we get about wammy's imo. less quotes now + more summarizing since these are just comics

near has apparently only "talked" to L once (in quotes since he didn't actually say anything, just sat in the back of the room doing a puzzle the entire time. real asf girl)

during this "conversation," roger or one of the orphanage heads set up the usual L screen + a camera/mic so that L could see all the kids and answer their questions.

notably, mello & near didn't ask any questions, just lurked in the back watching L with a "nasty look in [their] eyes," which near assumes is what made him pick them to be his top successors, considering the fact that he didn't actually look at any of their data. (somewhat seems to imply that L didn't actually give a shit about grades or anything like that when picking his main successors?)

while answering questions, near is caught off guard by one of L's answers. to transcribe it all directly here--

NEAR (NARRATING): At the time, I didn't think L would put it so bluntly. L: It's not a sense of justice. L: Figuring out difficult cases is my hobby. If you measured good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes. L: The same way you all like to solve mysteries and riddles, or clear video games more quickly... For me too, its simply prolonging something I enjoy doing. L: That's why I only take on cases that pique my interest. It's not justice at all. And if it means being able to clear a case, I don't play fair, I'm a dishonest, cheating human being, who hates losing...

not quite the monster speech, but fascinating all the same. near seems to imply that this answer sent some kids into a despair spiral, but it actually caused him to like L more and more, feeling that he was, "exactly the kind of person who wanted to achieve his own goals." kinda goes against the HTR13 ohba comment? shrug

The Wammy's House/L's One Day: (read here)

honestly i interpret these comics as like. canon crack fic. but anyways, here's the established L lore included in these two.

L was taken into wammy's as a nameless orphan at an unknown but likely quite young age

very soon after arriving he beats up all the other kids he meets--

he is "utterly incompatible," with all the other kids and monopolizes all the things he likes simply cause he's stronger than them and presumably could fight them for it-- naturally, he ends up usually just playing by himself

notably, this all establishes that L isn't the first kid at wammy's, that there was already at least one generation of older kids living there before he got there (and could eventually turn it into an L successor creating machine)

once watari realizes that L has some outstanding mental abilities, he gives him his own private room and a computer. afterwards, L spends most of his time sitting in front of the puter by himself

L requests that watari buy 1 million pounds with Japanese yen and tells him which stocks to buy, causing his assets to reach "almost 20,000 times the original amount," in two years. visually this is depicted as happening when L is still quite young

several years later, L stumbles across a serial murder case in the news, which is the first he solves, starting his new career path

-

L can stay awake for 100+ hours and then gets over it by sleeping for like 17 hours. pictures also may imply that he doesn't actually sleep in a bed, but just lies down sideways in his chair. RIP yotsuba light's perfectly designed sleep schedule

L also shits/pisses in the same position he usually sits in (frog-pose), facing the tank south park style

he is a big fan of cleanliness!! human washing machine etc. etc. honestly i think this is just another way for him to hold that same crouched position

text says he always has, "ten or so identical sets of clothes prepared for him," since he's picky about it, but the art itself shows way more than ten. also rare shirtless L moment?? (watari helps)

L does in fact go outside!! he likes roller coasters/theme parks, swinging, art galleries, live music, etc. though most of the time he just sits in his room thinking thru shit n solving cases.

[aizawashuichi]

not only i do not subscribe to the idea that Watari imposed L’s role on the wammy’s residents (for different reasons) or that wammy’s was created just for L, but I also don’t understand how that would work. Mello and Near are from the fourth generation (debatable but regardless, they don’t seem to be from the second) and if they are the successors, it means that the people chosen from the prior generations either died or decided to back down. It’s highly unlikely that everyone died, and if they decided to back down, that simply means that people can just do so, which goes against the most common headcanon in this fandom. I could accept that they all went into hiding, if only it weren’t for the fact that Mello, Near and L are highly competitive individuals so there must be someone before Mello and Near that wanted to be L, especially because the way Wammy’s is structured leads to competitiveness. So what happened to those people, that at the time L dies are mostly adults? I think they would surely be the first choices, just because they are older. They don’t even have to be individually the smartest people, because they can work together. I will always think that A and B’s generation is also L’s (or maybe one before), so it would make sense that after A’s death, the project was put on hold for a while, so nobody was actually chosen from the 2nd and 3rd generation (still debatable - do they actually exist or Mello’s came immediately after?). They probably weren’t even introduced to the idea of a successor programme, so they had no idea it existed, and only after that, as L was getting more well known (and maybe even after B’s attempt to ruin him or whatever he wanted to do) or when he started the Kira case, the successor programme was reinstalled. Still, no one is forcing anyone to be L. Near and Mello want to win, to be him. As Mello could just walk out of the Wammy’s, they could also say, fuck no, but they didn’t. True that the Wammy’s could idolise L, but if we take as canon what he said to the kids and the fact that some began to dislike him, he doesn’t want to be seen as an idiol and the kids are not brainwashed into thinking that. 

[mchib]

‘We need more bipolar characters’ 

YOU COULDBNT EVEN HANDLE HIM

first of all i think this is common knowledge but he exhibits a complex and erratic personality which i think could potentially be interpreted as symptom of bipolar disorder - bipolar is a characterized by extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania) and lows (depression) - throughout the series and manga (i think the manga shows this better) mellos behavior fluctuates dramatically displaying periods of intense energy impulsivity and irritability which align with manic episodes,,. - in the manga mellos depicted as ambitious driven and sometimes reckless in his pursuit of catching Kira. he has a chronic case of impulsive decision making such as kidnapping poeple and hijacking a character showcases a lack of regard for consequences which is a hallmark trait of manic behavior - i also think mellos extreme emotional responses ranging from fits of rage to moments of despair mirror the intense mood swings characteristic of bipolar disorder. he also struggles with self esteem and identity also point towards bipolar disorder... individuals with bipolar disorder often experience fluctuations in self esteem oscillating between grandiosity during manic episodes and profound self doubt during depressive episodes - mellos constant comparison to near (who he he and only he sees as his rival) and his need to prove himself could stem from underlying insecurities exacerbated by his mood swings

him developing bipolar could totally be a normal trauma response from literally a lot of abuse that he has faced, most of the main characters from wammys house show no signs of like rebellion or outlandish behavior like he does but that doesnt necessarily mean that nothing happened and i think the author gave characters such as near and the other orphans way too much mental fortitude. bipolar can be developed at any age and its especially common between ages 15-19. not to mention other than it being genetic, theres a huge link between bipolar and childhood trauma. like imagine being groomed your whole childhood into this competitive environment with other 4 year olds to be the smartest toddler so u can substitute this crazy genius when he dies. and think of it like come on theres no chance all of these kids desperately wanted to be detectives when they grew up there was definitely like some sort of foul play. L is an exception obviously since the orphanage became abusive after he came and he was treated like a king basically while the other orphans mental state was completely disregarded because they were only brought in from several corners of the world solely to be his successor. in fact the first generation orphans were literally expected to kill themselves because of the pressure and A killing himself literally was not a shock at all to the orphanage in fact i suspect that a lot of the first generation orphans made to succeed L had a horrible mental state and also killed themselves which if you think about it B (which stood for backup) losing his mind was completely normal even if the way he went about challenging L was not. not to mention how he had to live with shinigami eyes but thats for another post lolol.,,, anyways yeah mello's behavior is actually justified when you think about how much of an abusive household he lived in even if its kind of obvious that the author disregarded coming up with an explanation for the orphans mental wellbeing and how it would have affected their adolescence except from the character of mello and even when they show mello they basically make him seem insane and watari like an angel . reading the la bb murder cases from mello's perspective really opened my eyes to like how it actually was in wammys house u can really understand it from his tone and stuff also with that one page hold on lemme find it

'but what if they could copy him? what if they could make a backup? that was us. L's children, gathered from all corners of the world. children gathered together, never told each other's names. but even for a genuis like watari, creating a fake L was easier said than done. even for near and i, who were said to be the closest to L... the more we tried to be like him, the closer we got, the farther away he was, like chasing a mirage. so i hardly need to tell you what it was like when wammy's house was first founded, when he was still experimenting. the first child, A, was unable to handle the pressure of living up to L and took his own life, and the second child, beyond birthday, was brilliand and deviant. B stood for Backup.'

'L was the goal of everyone in wammys house. everyone one of us wanted to surpass him. to step over him. to step on him. M did, N did and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal.'

sorry for my complete lack of spelling punctuation and grammar but i think i got my point across and also big thanks to @monards who helped me finish this draft by giving me the energy to continue and also encouraging my crippling death note addiction by feeding into it with questions and remarks like 'woah!' and 'eureka!'

[ccmatta]

"Linda didn’t know what it was about him that drew her in so much. She barely knew him beyond what she’d observed from a distance, but she wanted to know more about him." From their first awkward interactions at Wammy's House, Linda finds herself inexplicably drawn to Matt, even if she can't quite understand why. Matt, on the other hand, is a puzzle – distant yet kind, aloof yet strangely attentive. When Mello suddenly leaves, Matt's world is shaken, and Linda becomes his unexpected anchor.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63971707

Rating: General Audiences Relationships: Matt/Linda Tags: Fluff, Pining, (I think?), Domestic Fluff, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, First Dates, (it is a date. they just don't know that yet) Words: 3,504

For @dnrarepairweek. Day 3: Fluff, Firsts and Pining (maybe?), the whole package :3

[nearlymello0]

Wammy's orphanage (house)

Wow, it’s been weeks since I last came onto Tumblr to really share an analysis/theory or sometimes the occasional Bound Prince rant. But I am back, and I am back with my thoughts about how Wammys house operates, the environment, and how the building worked.

I’ll be using canonical material such as the manga/anime, while also supporting it using the semi-cannon of the LABB novel and the L change the worLd novel. Note that I will be using LABB more than L change the worLd as LABB has been recognised by the creator of Death Note (Ohba) as some sort of cannon. I’ll also use sources away from the Death Note manga/novels/anime like interviews and articles about Orphanages in the UK.

Do I think that Ohba thought much about the orphanage? No, this is all headcanon based on canonical information from the Death Note series.

///////////////////////////////////////////////

When discussing Wammys house we first need to know the system for the children and how many children it can hold. We can use Mellos words from the LABB novel, and some outside sources to figure out how many children an orphanage the size of Wammys can hold.

Wammys house is a larger orphanage, with extremely good funding, and a credibility behind it all. Most likely recognised by the government. Due to its size and funding we can figure out the maximum number of children the main orphanage that produced the successors for L can hold. We also need to remember legally there has to be children going in and out of Wammys. (Also for money reasons and capacity reasons.)

From the size of the building that we know has multiple floors and a large area we can determine from first glance that it can hold more than 25 children. From my research that due to the size of the orphanage in question it would probably hold around 150 children in it.

By how the anime shows the amount of children plus the snippets of the manga that shows Wammys plenty of children live there, and have some contact with L in a sense. Like in the short stories we see L talking with the children through a computer screen.

Like any typical orphanage I can see children coming in and out of the orphanages. That holds the question why the children in the successor program don’t get adopted, quick answer; Wammys probably didn’t list them as adoptable. Or Near, and Mello were refusing any adoption. It wouldn’t benefit Wammys at all to not re-house orphans, Wateri likes to make detectives so keeping children around when they could go to actual houses wouldn’t be logical. It would just fill up the orphanage, and cost them money.

Now for the successor program I think it pretty much is “hm this one”. Near and Mello got picked due to a look in their eyes and them analysing L. So I doubt that L really hyperfixates on them. He most likely picks them like he did with Near or Mello or sees the files of children that he is told to look at that could be “successors”.

By Mellos description Near and him have the “L code” while the others in the past generations didn’t. (1 - 3) We had zero knowledge of the second and third generation but we do know barely anything of the first generation.

Beyond Birthday and A are the only confirmed successors from that generation. Beyond Birthday after lighting himself on fire landed himself in prison and most likely had a naturally occurring heart attack, A committed suicide. There is no cannon name for A and Beyond Birthday and there will never be.

The first generation was most likely stressful, they were meant to fail and most likely be a test for the actual potential successors in the future. Second and Third generation would most likely be less stressful for the successors. The fourth generation would most likely be the least stressful on the successors

That’s my deductions. They most likely had shared rooms and multiple floors of bedrooms. They also probably had open rooms for activities, a cafeteria, nurses office, and of course Rodger’s office. Multiple bathrooms around the area obviously. They probably also had a large outside area with multiple play areas.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think death note would be significantly different if Light (or L) was a woman? So much of Light's early characterisation is 'eldest son' how do you think 'eldest daughter' would change things?

Interesting question, that's very hard for me to answer actually. But let's try.

Sexism in Death Note

L is Woman

The thing about L is we don't know how/why Watari selected him. We don't know how they came in contact, why Watari set him up to be super detective and exactly how early that happened, and so on and so forth.

We do have a hint that L was around six or so when he was orphaned in that we get a hint of a flashback in the anime where Watari holds his hand when he's a small child seemingly at the gates of Wammy's, but we really know 0 about him other than that he did become this detective persona and that he keeps eating his rivals and stealing their names/business for himself.

Given L's incredibly young age and the successor program we see later run by a friend of Watari's who runs the orphanage, it seems like L was most likely Watari's idea and that Watari has a very particular vision in mind (that L does not always agree with).

What I'm getting at is, even if everything else is exactly the same, I don't know if a girl would be chosen as 'L' or an 'L' candidate by Watari and company.

The measurements on who gets to be L are deeply weird from the little we see of them. Neither Mello nor Near seem to have particularly relevant experience or much people skills. Mello's better in that respect than Near but it's clear this is... not valued highly given a) how L acts and behaves b) the fact that Mello is very clearly and narratively always second and never close to dethroning Near who has awful social skills. What seems to be most highly valued in an 'L' is 'intelligence' where that intelligence is measured... somehow. It's unclear if this is through puzzles like those Near solves, through academics, through intelligence exams, but what we do see is every successor we meet/L himself are men.

There's a panel where someone shouts "Linda" in the orphanage, but we never see this character and we can't assume they're part of the successor program at all.

And it wouldn't surprise me, from the little we do see, if the tests for who gets to be L aren't, either intentionally or not, geared such that men pass them more easily than women.

We also see that L has very few professional interactions with women. We don't see many of his contacts, but they are dominated by cis men. The few women we see are Wedy who is treated as... track suit boobs and Naomi Misora who is very brilliant/L acknowledges as very brilliant, but we don't see them interact at all (and if we take LABB is canon, when they did it was horrible).

L's is an incredibly masculine and cultivated world.

Basically, what I'm getting at is that I don't think a female L would have been selected to become L in the first place. She wouldn't have been supported by Watari, wouldn't have been given the endless funds and support needed to become the canon L, and Watari would instead be making someone else L (as he/Roger tried to do with Mello and Near).

L might become a detective, but I doubt she'd be reaching international acclaim and fame, certainly not as an anonymous detective. At most, and a generous most, she might be living a modern Ms. Marple lifestyle where this very weird woman shows up somewhere and oh no there's a murder, guess she's solving it.

Light is a Woman

You guessed it, I don't think she's becoming Kira.

The Yagami household is a modern but traditional household with traditional values. Sayu is the sweet young daughter who is supported but brilliant Light Yagami is the apple of the family's eye/especially his father.

It's a very male dominated household in that while we see Sachiko visibly upset by the Kira case destroying her family, she never openly comments on this, not even when Light disappears for months with no explanation, Soichiro stops coming home and the stress is visibly killing him, or later when Soichiro dies, Sayu is kidnapped, and Light himself finally dies.

Soichiro is all about his job where his family is there to support him in their given roles, Sachiko and Sayu in their roles, and Light in his more active role where he can join the police.

There is never any hint of discussing that Sayu should join the police force or should live anything but an ordinary life and get herself an ordinary boyfriend/husband.

We know before the series that Light had been involved, perhaps far more than appropriate, in the police with the support of his father. He geared his entire college education towards becoming a police officer and had had that goal since before the series began.

If Light's born a girl, I don't see her getting the same support, at all, by Soichiro. Soichiro does not want her or Sayu involved with grizzly homicide cases, doesn't want them becoming police officers in homicide, and does not want to discuss the details of any of his cases (which he never does canonically with the entire family/when it's not just Light).

Light is brilliant still and I'm sure Soichiro's very proud of her, but I imagine he'd want to steer her towards some other path, any other path. Light will go to a good university, will get excellent grades, will get a nice career, and then will get married to a fine young man (who perhaps is a cop).

And while a combination of ennui/mental breakdown was what fueled Light to become Kira, I don't know if female Light who's struggling to find what she wants to do with her life/somehow be the best that she can be and be acknowledged as better than everyone else will ever feel the idle curiosity to write in the notebook in the first place.

Though, if she does... I think she'd be all in for much the same reasons that Light was canonically, and with a lot of angst as

[imarson404]

I wonder what the standard procedure was a wammy’s (sans Kira)

did they graduate? Could they stay as long as they liked? What was that like? Did people stay in touch?

we know that all sorts of people came out of Wammy’s- artists, like Linda, computer experts like Q. There were all sorts of lecturers and teachers (eg the biochemical scientist who appears in LctW) only 26 people every generation got ‘letters’, what was the selection process like? They weren’t all detectives obviously, there was usually only 1 per generation. That system preceded L.

did they have trust funds? did Watari continue to provide for them and their dreams after they left? for those gifted children who weren’t interested in the successors program (like Linda) what was it like for them to see Mello pushing himself to the brink just so he could claim the title of the ‘smartest person to come out of Wammy’s’? what other talents came from the orphanage? Did they take GCSEs, A levels, degrees? When did they specialise? L got his first computer at some point between 8-14, and just solved puzzles until he came across his first case around 14 yo. When did they offer them the successors role? Or was that just a option offered if they were smart enough?

who else did Wammy’s produce and where are they now?

[artificial-ascension]

Reading through the wolrds surely most accurate source, Death Note fan wiki, I have accumulated a list of Wammys kid letters that are confirmed in some source to have an individual associated:

A- First successor of L, dead by suicide, mentioned in Death Note: Another Note

B- Beyond Birthday, number two of the first known successors behind A and a main character of Death Note: Another Note

D- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film

E- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film

F- Appears in the opening of L: Change The World film on a massion for L, dies via helicopter attack*

G- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film

H- Sends L an email informing him of F's death in L: Change The World

I- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film

J- Appears in the game L: The Prologue To Death Note, the game is unavailable in English so little is know of them, presumably a Wammys kid based on name, a separate J appears in the second episode of Death Note: A New Generation, she is not out right stated to be a Wammys kid, but she is assumed to be

K- Antagonist of L: Change The World book and film

L- If you do not know who L is why are you here, also Linda is a child who appears briefly in the manga and is responsible for the drawings of Near and Mello (I belive that is only presumed but I may be wrong, I can not remember where it was said)

M- Mello, second successor of generation four and a main antagonist of Death Note's main series and Matt, unranked member of generation four appearing as Mello's comrade in both anime amd manga

N- Near, successor of L and number one of generation four, appears in half the places L dose

P- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film

Q- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film

R- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film, their letter is greyed out, presumably indicating they are dead**

T- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film, their letter is greyed out, presumably indicating they are dead

V- Shown on L's mailing list in L: Change The World film, their letter is greyed out, presumably indicating they are dead

X- Alluded to in Death Note: Another Note as helping in a detective war with L

Y- Alluded to in Death Note: Another Note as helping in a detective war with L

Z- Alluded to in Death Note: Another Note as helping in a detective war with L

Unused letters- C, O, S, T, U, W***, possibly J as both instances of the usage are for individuals only presumed to be successors

Letters with known duplicates- L and M, J(?)

------

Conclusion:

1. L: Change The World introduced a shit ton of Wammys lore for apparently shits and giggles.

2. Alot less dead Wammys kids than I expected. (Only 9/24, that's only over a third. Maybe 10/24 if you count Watari.)

3. I can understand not finding a U or V, but how the hell were there no genius orphans with S or C names??

4. It is impossible for a Death Note title to not have a : in it.

------

Notes:

I got this information from the fan wiki and my brain. If it is wrong I'd like to know. I'd also love to hear of any more orphans the fan wiki or I missed.

------

*I can verify that that happened. I remember it vividly. Only known Wammys kid to die from a helicopter.

**A greyed name implies death as B's name was also greyed out. However, this also implies L could readily email B whenever he wanted, which is extremely funny.

***W is often totoed as Watari's letter. However, I am not considering him a Wammys kid but this may mean some of the letters shown do not indicate successors but rather other Wammys higher ups.

[43501]

Hotly debated perennial subject in DN fandom is whether or not L had any sort of direct contact (or even personal relationships) with the Wammy kids.

For the record: I'm firmly in the camp that Death Note was originally written as though L had contact with the orphans and the "oh, he only spoke to them through a screen exactly once" thing was decided by Ohba/Obata later. It comes up first in the C-Kira Story (released 2008, after anime finished and long after the original manga run) and again in the anime movie/re-write released around the same time. They're adamant about this detail, but it's also clearly an afterthought. Like... based on Near's finger puppet and mask of L... he clearly knew what L looked like. But we've all been over that: the thing that's been driving me crazy was that I could've sworn someone referenced talking to L directly and I finally figured out what gave me that impression.

Exclusively in the English dub Mello's line here is "he promised me he'd find kira and execute him". In the manga text and the Japanese audio, Mello's line here is a more general "(L) (said/proclaimed/etc) he'd find kira and execute him". My Japanese level isn't enough to determine whether the original JP text/audio implies in some way that this was a personal conversation.

[vamphorica]

I hope this hasn’t been asked before; feel free to delete this if you’ve already answered something similar. I know this blog focuses on Mello and Matt, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on L as well.

Do you think L is the type to retire someday, or would he work his ass off until he dies? And if he were to retire, what do you think he might want to do next? (let's say he survived the Kira case)

don't worry whatsoever, lovely, i am always extremely happy to talk about that strange little man, and since i've been writing my fics for lawlight week recently, i have been thinking about him a lot anyway.

i think one of the many things that makes L so compelling as a character is that he himself is very much a patient zero. the series tends to point out that although Light is not the first human to receive the Death Note, he is the first to have become radicalised to the extent that he easily surpasses previous owners in the multitude of names he writes within the first few days. additionally, when L is introduced, he had already gained his reputation as the world's greatest detective, having always solved every case he took on. especially on an initial reading, it is easy to interpret an unbalanced power dynamic between this very reputable detective and the teenage boy who has recently decided to become God.

yet of course, L is... the first L. the only L. we can make our assumptions in acknowledging A and Beyond that from early on in his career, L was always going to be succeeded by someone else, but what's interesting (at least, to me) is that no matter how successful and intelligent he was, there were probably very few rules and expectations placed upon him in regards to what his career trajectory ought to have looked like. now i do think the House would have likely tightened this up for Near and other successors in years to come, to ensure L's legacy remained as prolific and consistent as it started out, but L himself was unlikely to have been given a set of rules to follow in engaging with his work. also, you don't even have to get too far into either the manga or anime to recognise how frequently Watari indulges L. the world serves him, not the other way around.

so essentially, you're completely correct to pose the question about his attitude to work specifically. in short, i have a hard time believing he would retire, but again, for very selfish reasons more so than any sense of moral obligations. L confesses he's childish, and i am very, very certain he would be bored senseless without various cases to work on. i do wonder if he took on cases while working on finding Kira, particularly at the beginning, but i wouldn't be surprised if he exclusively began to focus on the Kira case as it got more intense. in regards to working himself to death particularly, I think it's an (unhealthy) attitude almost all the Wammy's children possess, a martyr complex of sorts that they must continue solving cases until they fail. of course, the failure in their eyes being death.

the only exception to that rule is Matt. but then again, he is a bit of an exception to rules generally.

however in the case that he did retire, surviving the Kira case, arresting – and presumably executing – Light, and leaving Mello and Near to argue it out between themselves who would take his place, i think L would likely find himself still very much intrigued about society and the complicated nature of people. he may be very reclusive, and ultimately awkward to a painful degree, but this doesn't necessarily suggest that he wouldn't use his wealth and resources to his advantage to put himself in some interesting scenarios.

i think it would go without saying that someone like L could flourish in academia, be it studying or teaching (and i suspect there would be very few degrees that he would find intellectually stimulating enough to commit to over a long period of time, so teaching is more likely, i believe). although i also think, to come back to my point that L had not been subject to many rules throughout his life, he would be incredibly unreliable and only tolerated because of his intelligence, rather than because he would be particularly good at his job.

another possibility perhaps is that he becomes more involved with the legal sector. his career had been about finding the criminals, but possibly not having much in the way of decision making as to what happened to these criminals once they had been detained. what would be fascinating is if his perspective on criminal justice is at all influenced by his involvement in the Kira case. which is to say, i do not imagine he would ever consider conceding to Light's opinions on the matter, but maybe he would be more strongly opposed to the death penalty or other harsh sentences.

although, as i am thinking it through, we are talking about the same man who sacrificed a criminal on live television, tortured his suspects, and is not exactly known for his ethical convictions. i also reckon much of these potential post-retirement hypotheticals would be more appealing for the sake of a challenge rather than his desire to try and make any positive impact on the world.

on a final note, i guess i am considering much of this under the idea that L retires in his twenties, which he would be more than capable of doing. if he retired at a traditional age, maybe in his sixties or seventies (assuming no case threatens his life as it had in the Kira case), then his life would certainly be very different. i think, unlike any of his successors, L was probably treated better (and thus has a more forgiving attitude towards) Wammy's House, and maybe in another universe, he would return to Winchester, and whichever generation of children that would be raised to take on his title would be able to fondly reminisce about this older man who had plenty on exciting stories to tell in which he always came out on top, in the end.

thank you, anon! hope you didn't fall asleep halfway though!

[queer-omens-in-the-archives]

Jealousy (1/7)

The first instalment in our series of 7 Matt/Mello/Near drabbles written for @dnrarepairweek! :3 Prompt: competition.

Near is not an envious child.

Rarepair: Matt/Mello/Near Other tags: one-sided Mello/Near, Matt/Mello, Wammy's House Era, Jealousy

[read on AO3 or below] [series on AO3]

Near is not an envious child. He is generally content with the hand he’s been dealt, well-suited to the environment he is growing up in.

And yet he is familiar with sharp jealousy, the kind that twists his gut into knots, that makes him want to howl and snarl and bite even though he would never.

It’s all in the soft strands of red hair lain on the black of Mello’s shoulder; the easy touch of Mello’s fingers on a striped sleeve; their hands held so casually.

Near will never say anything, of course. He is not an envious child.

[neallo]

30 | she/her

caard

hi there! this is a sideblog and is also sometimes explicit. minors - please do not interact w/ explicit posts or fics.

historically my tagging habits are inconsistent at best, but i do what i can. generally speaking, you can find answered asks under #asks, original posts under #neallopost, snippets under #my writing, and fanfiction posts / updates under #neallofic.

i write almost-exclusively for mello/near. i write for matt/mello/near on an incidental basis, as well as a handful of rarepairs. all my non-mellonear works can be found here on AO3; for brevity's sake, i am not listing them in my masterpost. i have also listed ficlets (works under 1000 words which do not belong to a series) separately; you can find that post here.

AO3 Collections:

(alternative to navigating this masterpost)

neallo fics (but make them non-meronia) neallo yaoi neallo yuri personal favorites

category: M/M

series: hot soup on a cold day

wammy's era, no kira AU

2 works; 16,395 words

hot soup on a cold day

rated T | 15,595 words

“Roger,” Near says urgently, tapping the old man’s shoulder. “Roger, Mello needs another pillow.” Roger gives Near a questioning look, slight disapproval in his eyes “He’s not making me get him one,” Near clarifies. “Mello is asleep right now. He just doesn’t look comfortable, that’s all.” Roger looks like he’s about to protest, so Near adds— “And I have my mask, so I won’t get sick.” The headmaster sighs, pointing down the hallway towards the linen closet. Near retrieves the perfect pillow— not so old as to be sagging, but not so new as to be overly stiff. Once he props Mello’s head up better, gingerly moving the older boy’s head as he sleeps, he finds Roger again. “I think Mello’s room is too cold. Do you have a space heater I could use?” Roger massages his temples. “Ms. Peterson may have one in her classroom,” he replies / “Very well, I’ll ask her. Thank you, Roger.” The white-haired boy shuffles away, determined. He’s distantly aware that he's being a pest to Roger, but it's all in aid of a good cause. Mello is sick. Mello almost never gets sick, and Near is the expert on being sick, so Near is going to make sure Mello is as comfortable as possible.

hot tea on a cold night

rated T | 800 words

Mello is half-asleep when it happens. He’s half-asleep, and he thinks Near is totally asleep, but then the younger boy wriggles in his arms, burrowing closer under the covers, and murmurs: “I love you.”

series: i want to hold you (hostage)

canon-divergent kira investigation era

4 works; 28,790 words

there's nothing i want but you

rated T | 1,560 words

Though Near doesn’t really mind Mello’s tendency towards jealousy, he also doesn’t understand it. There’s no one in the world Near wants the way he wants Mello, no one who matters the way Mello does— he’s everything to Near. There’s no reason for him to feel jealous of anyone else. Near doesn’t get jealous of anyone else. Until, one day, he does.

nothing hurts like you do

rated E | 3,830 words

Mello shoves him against the wall, his free hand moving from Near’s hair to the center of his chest as he holds the gun just inches from his forehead. He gives Near a once-over, quick, and at first Near thinks he hasn’t noticed anything amiss, but then an unkind smile unfurls on his face. “Hands up,” Mello says, grinning manically.

i want to hold you (hostage)

rated E | 21,700 words

Rico asks, casual, what Mello will want next, what he’ll aim for after he gets the notebook, and suddenly it’s like the ground has dropped out from underneath him, because the first thing that comes to mind is Near. His stomach sinks as he tries to regain some semblance of composure, fighting off imaginings both tender and cruel, furious with himself for being so weak-minded. Near, he thinks forcefully, is in the past. He isn’t an option for what’s to come— and even if he was, Mello wouldn’t want him. (He wouldn’t.) (He wouldn’t.) (God. He can’t even convince himself anymore.)

love enough to drown it out

rated E | 1,700 words

Even when Near is not himself, he’s still Mello’s.

series: our love is god

post-kira, semi-compliant with canon

3 works; 6,125 words

my only one, my smoking gun

rated E | 3,275 words

[part 1 of our love is god]

rating: E | category: M/M | chapters: 4/4 | words: 3.3k

For as long as he can recall, he’s ached over Near. It wasn’t always like this, though; he didn’t realize he wanted Near until it was too late to actually have him. He should be grateful, really, because he’s been able to linger here after death, and that’s more than he deserves, but God, Mello would give anything to kiss him just once.

heaven is a place on earth with you

rated E | 1,425 words

There is no blood or body of Christ, no priest and no pews, but it’s here and now that Mello finally rediscovers a long-lost sliver of faith. Hands on Near’s hips, Mello lowers his face and presses his mouth to Near’s soft abdomen. “I love you,” he murmurs, head bowed and eyes shut as if in prayer.

replication in reverse

rated E | 1,425 words

Mello mumbles something into his neck, something to the effect of waiting until Near is ready for him to move, but Near only halfway registers it. Golden hair tickles his nose, and he pictures mitosis— prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase— then imagines cytokinesis in reverse. Two cells pushed together until, somehow, their membranes connect, two phospholipid bilayers self-arranging into one continuous structure, cytoplasms mingling. He swallows thickly and longs for something impossible.

series: marital bliss

post-wammy's no kira AU

2 works; 4,465 words

engaged

rated M | 1,425 words

“So, like, I suddenly realized… Near is into me. Like, Near wants me.” He pauses as if to allow this to sink in, looking at Matt like this is still a groundbreaking revelation the second time around when it in fact was not even groundbreaking the first. Near’s crush has been obvious to literally everyone but Mello for the past ten years. “Yes. This surprised you. And also me, because I definitely did not know that Near was into you before you told me fifteen minutes ago.” Mello nods, satisfied, entirely missing Matt’s sarcasm, which might be for the best. “So, naturally, I slept with him.” “Naturally,” Matt says. Mello does not miss the sarcasm this time. “If you’re just going to be a judgmental bitch the whole time, I’m not going to explain it again. You should be smart enough to remember what I fucking said the first time anyway.” “No, yeah, I actually think most well-adjusted people would sleep with their sworn enemies the moment they find out they’re into them.” Matt smiles tightly. “It wasn’t the moment I found out,” Mello says petulantly. “I waited like, four hours.”

married

rated E | 3,040 words

Being married to Mello is, Near finds, better than he could have ever imagined. For the last two months, every day has started the same way. He wakes up to the sound of their alarm, surrounded by Mello. Mello’s chest warm against his back, Mello’s breath tickling his neck, Mello’s arm curled around him, solid and sure. Near has to squirm out of his embrace to turn off the clock, and said squirming inevitably wakes Mello. By the time Near has silenced the alarm, his husband is propped up on one elbow, staring. “Get back here,” Mello always says, his voice coarse with sleep and low enough to make Near shiver.

series: (not so) casual sex

post-wammy's no kira AU

2 works; 7,392 words

it’s friday, i’m in love

rated M | 2,675 words

Mello abandons a night out in favor of seeing (and holding and kissing and sleeping beside) Near.

love chained

rated E | 4,717 words | chapter 1/?

Against his will, his mind momentarily drifts to Near. He thinks about how Near gets chilled if he isn’t held close enough after he’s been fucked, and how perfectly his body fits against Mello’s own, how comfortable it is to curl around him. It never really bugs him that Near wants to be close after sex. There’s a sort of irresistibility to him, actually, that pulls Mello in— his skin damp and flushed, his breaths uneven, his limbs slack in the aftermath of his orgasm. Near smells kind of nice even when he’s all sweaty, and he makes this happy little sound when Mello’s face finds its way into the crook of his neck, and he’s so quiet and still when he falls asleep that it somehow soothes Mello into slumber, too. God damn it. At the end of the day, this is his problem. He shouldn’t have thoughts this fond about Near; it’s weird, and not at all casual, and if he lets it continue he’s going to completely wreck what they have.

collaborations (complete)

Minutes to Midnight

part 2 of Time Together (2 works; 20,412 words)

collaboration with @empressofthewind

rated E | 14,865 words

This is the only issue Near has with letting Mello do all their debriefings: it’s easy for Near to stare, undetected and uninterrupted, for a long, long time. In New York, he mitigates this by spreading out on the floor and surrounding himself with toys or cards or dice. Whatever he needs to do to occupy himself. When they’ve travelled for cases before – which isn’t common by any stretch of the imagination – Near has relied on the movements and sounds of their colleagues to pull his attention away instead. The squeak of Rester’s chair, the tapping of Gevanni’s polished shoe, the sound of Lidner shuffling through papers. He uses whatever he can to keep his eyes off Mello. Out of sight, out of mind. Right now, he’s out of luck.

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Impetus

part 2 of Impulse (2 works; 7,360 words)

collaboration with @/empressofthewind

rated E | 4,888 words

Ten full days after Near had cruelly and callously broken Mello's heart over email— over email, for God's sake— Mello began to experience what could only have been demonic possession or divine inspiration. Or maybe that was just the whiskey and the wishing. -- In which Mello pines and plots to win Near back with a pizza and a few bad lies.

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shot in the dark

collaboration with @/empressofthewind

rated E | 8,225 words

Mello’s posture changes, abrupt but liquid-smooth, shoulders squaring and spine straightening as he raises the gun until Near is staring down the barrel of it. Blood rushes in his ears, loud. Mello licks his lips. “Get up.”

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Distraction

collaboration with @/empressofthewind

rated E | 2,880 words

The small pout Near offers in response would, under normal circumstances, result in the rapid undoing of Mello’s resolve. Worse still is that Near has begun writhing in his lap; not quite grinding on him, but shifting his weight in a way that’s troublesome nonetheless. Mello huffs. Near is fully aware of what he’s doing. He knows the effect he has on Mello. He’s teasing him. If that’s how this is going to be, then perhaps Mello will do a little teasing of his own.

standalone works (complete)

early arrival

rated E | 1,570 words

It’s one in the morning and Near is wide awake, talking to Mello in hushed tones as the other passengers sleep soundly around them. According to the small screen on the back of the seat in front of him, they’re more than halfway through the flight, but it’s far from almost-over— it will be another three hours before they touch down in London.

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untouched

rated E | 2,570 words

The storm is the only reason Near is here, and the only reason Mello let him in. That’s what Mello is trying to tell himself, anyway. — In which an old habit turns into something new.

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good boy

rated E | 5,356 words

Mello’s stare is warm and constant, and the comforting exhilaration of it builds and builds within Near until he feels like he may burst. There is something he wants to say to Mello, but he doesn’t know what it is. Before he can ever say anything at all, though, Mello stands to leave. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says. Before he goes, he gives Near two lists. One for the night. One for the next morning. Near always follows them to the letter. — In which Mello and Near form a dom-sub relationship centered entirely around shared meals and to-do lists.

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THE END IS NEAR

rated T | 1,725 words

So here they are now, in the middle of the bible belt with a disposable camera and an unspoken agreement to ignore the elephant in the room. Or— elephants, plural, because there are a whole host of things they aren’t discussing. The Kira case is one, and maybe the biggest, but they also haven’t talked about Mello’s photo or the words on the back of it, and Near hasn’t dared to voice the question that he keeps asking himself: Why am I here?

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better than him

rated E | 1,250 words

In which Mello thinks Near has a boyfriend, and Near thinks Mello has an infidelity kink.

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to have & to hurt

rated E | 7,000 words

Five times Mello is harsh with Near, and one time he is very tender.

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august 18th, 2010 (two-hundred days)

rated E | 1,650 words

Near is sitting in his office. He is sitting at his desk in his office, which is also Mello’s office, because they share one, now. Mello is under two meters away from him, sitting at his own desk and glaring at his backlit monitor like he wants to kill it. This has been their status quo for about seven months. Near knows the exact figure— two-hundred days— but he usually avoids acknowledging that he knows it, even in his own mind. Having this information on hand feels slightly illicit, because he knows the only reason he recalls the duration of their professional partnership with this degree of precision is because of what happened immediately before it began.

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starving

rated M | 2,720 words

Near is hungry. No— not hungry. Near is famished. He’s starving. Mello can see it in the pronounced pallor of his face, the dullness of his eyes. In life, he could go for a day and a half without eating and barely notice. It wasn’t good for him, but he could do it without issue. In undeath, he is not so resilient.

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a hard day's night

rated E | 2,475 words

Near wakes to find himself in a soft, inky darkness, completely unable to move. His paralysis is not immediately noteworthy to him. At first, as he is rising from the depths of unconsciousness, it strikes him as quite natural. Comfortable, even. With his mind still half-blanketed by sleep, his thoughts slow and blurry, the weight bearing down on him feels almost like an embrace. This thought is what first brings his attention to the strangeness. Physical affection— physical contact, full-stop— is not part of his daily life. The only people who ever touch him are doctors, dentists, and Mello, though Mello only grabs him when he is about to walk through a puddle or into an obstacle, or, occasionally, when Mello is especially frustrated with him. No one embraces Near. -- In which Mello sleepily invades Near’s space, and Near puzzles through both what is happening and what to do about it.

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grand premiere

rated G | 1,111 words

Near reaches his wit’s end on a Tuesday in early October. He has been trying to win Mello’s heart for months now, seemingly to no avail. He cannot take it any longer.

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compromised

rated E | 2,850 words

The door has only just shut behind them when Mello slams him against it, forcing the air from Near’s lungs in a painful wheeze. Hands fisted in white fabric, he gets right up in Near’s face. It is meant to be frightening, menacing, but more than anything Near finds it nostalgic, really. “What the fuck are you doing here?” Mello hisses. Near blinks, feigning innocence. “Visiting.” — In which Near finds both Mello’s base and a suitable compromise.

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we’ll pretend it ends tomorrow

rated E | 5,775 words

“What’s happening?” Near asks. “I’m not sure,” Mello says. “I think we might’ve been kidnapped.” Near makes a soft sound of disapproval. Mello bristles at this, because it sounds like Near is mad at him over their abduction, even though it’s obviously not Mello’s fault. Shutting his eyes for a moment, he reminds himself that Near is probably feeling super-scared and vulnerable, and that, considering the situation, he may not be thinking through the potential implications of the sounds he’s making. He probably didn’t mean for it to seem accusatory. -- A dire situation tests Mello and Near’s ability to work together, bringing out the good, the bad, and the sexy.

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better than revenge

rated E | 910 words

“If you ever have sex with Gevanni,” Mello interrupts, breathless and half-insane, “I will literally kill him.”

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slice

rated E | 1,000 words

In which Near watches Mello cut fruit and marvels over his tender, dangerous hands.

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come together

rated E | 2,175 words

“What,” Mello says, trying for derisiveness again, “are you trying to figure out how it works?” Near doesn’t flinch or falter. “No. I’m quite familiar with self-pleasure. I was just looking.” “Creep.” “I was not the one to suggest masturbating together,” Near says. “And you were looking at me, too.” -- In which Mello and Near touch themselves, and watch each other.

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one in the same

rated E | 3,500 words

“Fuck,” Mello whispers. His hands shake against Near’s chest. “Good boy,” Near repeats, experimental, smiling as he watches Mello’s eyes flutter shut again. “The very best.” A small frown tugs at Mello’s lips. Near tries to kiss it away, but it lingers. He still has work to do.

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the frost

rated T | 1,620 words

“So?” Mello shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Brushes his wrist against the handle of his gun, just to remind himself that it’s there. “What the hell do you want?” Near smirks. “Who said I wanted anything but your company?” He twirls a strand of hair around his finger. The gesture is so familiar that it makes Mello’s chest ache. “Perhaps I wished to spend time with an old friend. It’s been a long while, hasn’t it?” Mello scoffs. “Oh, is that what we are?” A tilt of Near’s head. His smile skews, bafflingly, a bit more genuine. Bizarre little bastard. “Isn’t it?”

winter wonderland

rated T | 1,450 words

Near’s hand shoots toward him. His cold fingers connect with the skin of Mello’s neck, underneath the collar of his coat. Mello yelps. “See?” Near says, withdrawing his icicle-hand. “They’re very cold.” “Yeah, no shit,” says Mello. “What the hell do you want me to do about it?” There may be winter apparel vendors here, he supposes. Hand-knit scarves and gloves and mittens. He goes to pull out the list of stalls, but is again stopped in his tracks by Near, who now offers both hands. He looks at Mello very seriously. “Warm them up.”

starstruck

rated T | 1,110 words

There’s a boy Mello can’t stop looking at in the second row. White hair, dark eyes, round-ish face. He’s kind of pretty, and kind of Mello’s type, but that isn’t why he’s looking. — Graduate student Nate River meets internationally-acclaimed rockstar Mihael Keehl— stage name Mello. One of them is a little starstruck.

yardwork

rated M | 500 words

Mello gardens, and Near watches.

standalone works (in progress)

there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have

rated E | 22,265 words | 6/7 chapters

“Ah, good morning,” Near says, and solely from the look on his face Mello knows he is missing some key fucking information. “I thought maybe you had left.” Mello shakes his head. He’s somewhat distracted by the fact that he still can’t tell if Near is naked; he’s shirtless, though, and that’s already ten times more of Near’s skin than Mello has ever seen before. Or, it’s more than he can recall seeing, anyways. And now Mello can’t stop staring at his chest. It’s so stupid, because Near is thin and scrawny and all pasty but Mello cannot tear his eyes away anyways— “So—” Mello’s voice fucking cracks as he finally manages to start speaking, a clear sign that some higher power is out to get him. He presses onwards anyways. “So, last night was…” He trails off, not even sure how he wants to finish the sentence, or if he wants to finish it at all. Near brings a pale hand to his hair and idly twirls a strand “Surprising,” Near completes the thought before glancing away. “But… not entirely unpleasant.” — In which Mello wakes up in Near’s bed after a night out and arrives at a wildly incorrect conclusion regarding the events that landed him there.

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all’s fair in love and war (and this is both)

rated T | 15,122 words | 3/4 chapters

Near has Mello under siege, dragging him into a battle of wits, strategy, and stealth, one that has him in a state of constant vigilance, ever-ready for an attack. With his dignity and his ego on the line, Mello throws himself head-first into psychological warfare against his longtime rival, trying any tactic he can to help him turn the tide in his favor. The game is as complex and mind-bending as four-dimensional chess, and Mello has to think twenty moves ahead just to keep up, but he’ll be damned before losing to Near at this. Or: Near accidentally gaslights Mello into being his boyfriend, and Mello does Olympic-level mental gymnastics in order to read Near’s actions as sinister.

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an unusual proposal

rated E | 4,562 words | 2/? chapters

“So,” Mello says. “What do you think?” Near scrutinizes his rival. Mello fidgets with the chain attached to his pants, seemingly anxious but still gravely serious. The proposal is… unconventional, to say the least, and logistically rather complicated— there are at least four-dozen things that could go wrong, and that’s just off the top of his head. It won’t be easy. His decision, though, is easy. He does not want Mello to die, and this, strange as it may be, seems like the best way to protect him. “Yes,” Near says. “I’ll do it.”

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15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush

rated M | 3,798 words | 2/? chapters

He scanned through the table of contents. Hot Trends to Try This Summer. 20 Best Affordable Lip Glosses. How to Take Care of Your Mental Health in College. None of these were right. Near was not interested in fashion, suspected lip gloss would be unpleasant to him from a sensory perspective, and was already the picture of excellent mental health. He kept searching, a small frown on his face, until— lo and behold— he found the page number he was looking for and flipped to the article that would, he assumed, completely change his life: 15 Totally Chill Ways to Flirt With Your Crush.

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a game of chance

rated E | 4,780 words | 3/4 chapters

“Um.” Mello wrinkles his nose at the objects in his palm. “What’s the point of this again?” They are standing in the living room of their shared apartment, and also possibly on the precipice of a new and thrilling chapter of their relationship, though Mello is—by design— unaware of this latter detail. — In which Near uses a special set of dice to shift the tides of his relationship with Mello.

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bite down

rated E | 2,115 words | 1/3 chapters

When Mello wakes to find his wrist in Near’s delicate grasp, the skin freshly-wet with saliva and blood, the first thing out of his mouth is: “I knew it.” Near— his longtime rival, short-time colleague, and, as of some indeterminate number of hours ago, his most recent one-night stand— lies on the bed beside him, propped up partway, staring evenly. The pristine sheets, arranged over his lower half in an artfully disheveled way, appear almost dingy compared to the sickly-silver glow of his bare, moonlit chest. “Did you,” Near says, mild, curious. “That’s quite strange.” He licks a drop of blood from the sensitive skin of Mello’s wrist, and Mello shivers. A bright wave of static rolls through him at the contact. “Yes,” Mello tells him, hoping the waver in his voice is just his imagination. “That’s— that’s why I slept with you. Obviously.” -- In which Mello makes the ultimate sacrifice to uncover Near’s vampirism and clinch his position as L’s sole successor, and then makes the very same sacrifice several times more, purely out of the goodness of his heart.

category: F/F

series: what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

wammy's era, no kira AU

3 works; 9,975 words

what doesn't kill me makes me want you more

rated M | 6,275 words | 3/? chapters

“Poor Near,” Mello says, stepping closer and pulling Near’s head back further, tilting her face up as Mello cages her against the wall. “How long have you liked me?” Near’s heart is kicking against her ribcage so hard it almost hurts, and her ears are burning with embarrassment. She squeezes her eyes shut, unable to hold the blonde’s gaze. “Mello, I...” she tries to speak, hoarse. “Has it been months?” Mello asks, her voice getting closer as Near feels her lean down. She braves a glimpse through her lashes and watches as Mello bends her head to brush her cheek against Near’s, putting her lips next to Near’s ear. “Years, maybe?” The older girl teases. Near finds it in herself to squeak out a “yes,” and almost jumps at Mello’s sharp intake of breath. “Years,” Mello marvels.

clean cut (bleed slow)

rated T | 2,000 words

The sting of alcohol is sharp on Mello’s split lip, but she suppresses the wince that threatens to surface. It’s bad enough that she lost her shit in front of Near; like hell she’ll let Near see her look weak, too.

a world transformed (3/3)

rated T | 1,700 words

In which a gift transforms the way Near understands the world.

series: together (always)

kira investigation & post-kira

2 works; 7,040 words

i know i’m gonna lose you (but god, i don’t want to)

rated E | 3,540 words

Near’s bedroom— her tidy little suite in her untidy little makeshift headquarters in a high-rise hotel in Tokyo— is lit only by the shine of the city and the glow of the moon. Because the moon is full and because the city is bright, Mello can see her perfectly. Every little hair on her arms and legs catch the light as she sheds her soft, simple bra. The only thing Mello has taken off so far are her gloves. --- In which Mello rings in 2010 with some good old-fashioned lesbian sex and a minor emotional crisis.

it’s you and me, that’s my whole world

rated T | 3,500 words

Once she reaches the first floor and steps out of the elevator, Near hears a voice floating down the hall. It’s a woman’s voice, so it must be Lidner, but the pitch of it and the cadence of speech seems painfully similar to the way Mello talked, even without being able to hear the actual words. The closer she gets, the more it sounds like her dead lover, and Near curses how cruel her mind’s tricks are. She has to grit her teeth and breathe in deep to get herself to push through the door into the main office, feeling almost nauseous with grief again already. A blonde woman in a red winter jacket stands with her back to Near, but she turns when the toy in Near’s hand clatters to the ground. Mello’s eyes are tired, underlined by dark circles, but she grins. “Hey, Near.”

series: you got your eyes from the stars

2 works; 2,925 words

starry eyes sparking up my darkest night (1/2)

rated T | 930 words

Near has a nightmare on the flight back to New York after the end of the Kira case; Mello, still tipsy off of the red wine they served in first class, is unexpectedly tender.

fireworks somewhere far away (2/2)

rated T | 1,995 words

It’s the fourth of July. Or, rather, it’s still the fourth of July in the United States, which is where they live, but they’re in Madrid at the moment, so technically where they are it’s the fifth. It’s not hard math to figure out what time it is back home— it’s a little before six in the morning here, so it’ll be a little before midnight in New York. Somewhere on the West Coast or in the Rocky Mountains, though, there are fireworks going off. That’s what Near is thinking when Mello kisses her for the first time.

series: unforeseen circumstances

2 works; 10,515 words

unknown caller (1/2)

rated E | 3,300 words

“What are you wearing?” Near’s brow furrows in confusion. “What I always have worn.” “Mm. It’s summer, so— linen, right?” “Correct.” She wonders, then, if Mello asked the question to prompt Near to ask the same in return. Sometimes people do that. This is something she has learned since Mello left. “What are you wearing?” Near asks politely. “I am wearing,” Mello says, breathy, “black lace. It’s this— this fucking expensive set, you know— nice lingerie. I look good in it.” The description is extremely vague. Near does not know what nice lingerie looks like— she wears the same kind of cotton boyshort underwear every single day and a soft, thin bra. She also does not, honestly, know what Mello’s aim is in telling her this. It seems unlikely that she would call for the first time in five years to gloat about her finery, so there must be some kind of purpose to it, she just— “I’m touching myself,” Mello announces. Near drops the phone.

unexpected visitor (2/2)

rated E | 7,215 words

By the time Mello makes her way to New York and into Near’s bedroom, she has both seriously pissed Near off (by using the murder notebook to kill half her organization) and permanently disfigured herself (by blowing up a building while she was still inside it). She’d imagined slightly rosier circumstances for taking Near’s virginity, but Mello is nothing if not adaptable. She’ll make do or die trying.

standalone works (complete)

the end of a long winter

rated T | 2,025 words

Five years after the end of their relationship, Matt visits Mello in Minneapolis and meets her not-so-new girlfriend, whose face is a lot more familiar than he’d been expecting.

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leap day

rated E | 1,770 words

“Just— take my word for it. It’s a thing. The stuff that happens on leap day doesn’t count. It’s like Vegas.” / Near’s brow furrows. “As in Las Vegas?” “Yeah. You know the saying— what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” “But we live in Chicago.” “Holy shit,” Mello snaps, “that’s not the point! The point is— it’s— it’s leap day. We can do whatever. It doesn’t count. Are you in or not?”

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wedding doves & leather gloves

rated E | 1,000 words

“Don’t tell me,” Near says, derisive tone tainted by her words wavering. “You want to hear that I’m yours.” Exquisite pain blossoms across her scalp as Mello yanks on her hair. “Don’t be a fucking brat,” Mello hisses. “Answer me. What are you, Near?” “I’m a detective,” she replies flatly. “Just like you are.”

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crying only because i’m happy

rated E | 575 words

In which Mello lovingly overwhelms her good girl.

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magnetic forces

rated M | 1,250 words

Near and Mello’s flight back from their case is cancelled due to inclement weather. The timing is... suboptimal. In which Near discloses that she’s due to go into heat before they can return to headquarters, and Mello is extremely calm and normal about that.

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kiss and cry

rated M | 1,185 words

It’s like that, sometimes, on the ice. When she’s skating, and when Nat is. Mihaela goes out there and skates whatever program she’s gone with, and sometimes, in the middle, she feels Nathalie’s gaze so heavy and strong that it’s like her arms and legs aren’t her own. She lands a triple-axel perfectly, easily, and knows something unbelievable has occurred. She never tells Rod. She never tells anyone. It would make her sound completely mad.

standalone works (in progress)

bury us both

rated E | 23,438 words | 12/15 chapters

Mello is demonstrably capable of killing, and has perhaps more reason to want Near dead than anyone else on the face of the earth. They were once rivals, and Near knows a fragment of that resentment lingers even now. She is also likely the only person who could successfully bring Mello to justice, so her very existence is a threat to Mello’s, in a sense. If that weren’t enough, there is the fact that Mello could make a fortune, too, were she to kill Near. There are no shortage of people who would pay a handsome sum to see L’s head on a platter. And it would be so simple for her to do it, so easy. She’s had countless opportunities— the two of them alone, Near in all kinds of vulnerable positions, any number of potentially deadly weapons within reach— but she’s never taken one. Despite having every possible motive and every possible chance, Mello has not killed her. On more than one occasion, she’s even protected Near. This is how she knows Mello loves her in her way, even if she has not said it aloud. Even if it isn’t enough to make her stay. -- Mello and Near through the years, in love and in agony.

category: other

wrong idea

rated E | 2,700 words

She kept flirting with Near. Kept showing her the songs she was working on, sitting close to her on the couch to play her new melodies and try out her latest lyrics. Kept checking Near out in ways she knew weren’t subtle. It was little more than idle entertainment, initially— Near’s enthusiasm was endearing and encouraging, and it seemed sometimes like she might have a little crush on Mello— but it steadily developed into more. And then Mello started pushing her luck. Putting her arm around Near’s thin little shoulders, leaning in to tease her gently. Doing Near’s eyeliner after she complimented Mello’s. Giving Near rides on the back of her motorcycle and stealing candy for her from gas stations. Thinking about Near when she wasn’t around, often, and not at all innocently. Before she realized it, Mello had stopped trying to pick up other girls altogether, even at the gigs Near didn’t go to. She just didn’t want them. All she wanted was Matt’s girlfriend.

category: M/F

obedience training

rated E | 950 words | 2/2 chapters

When Near first puts the leather around his neck, Mello sort of wants to roll his eyes, but then she looks so pleased with herself that it’s very hard to begrudge her anything.

faded to oblivion

rated E | 3.6k words | 2/? chapters

When Near phoned and asked to see him, he had a few vague guesses as to what she might need from him. This was not on the list.

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i’m your man

rated E | 1,825 words | 3/? chapters

Near is an angel, and Mello her dog, a rotten-mean stray no-one else would have kept.