#death note rant for my three followers :33

[mchib]

‘We need more bipolar characters’ 

YOU COULDBNT EVEN HANDLE HIM

first of all i think this is common knowledge but he exhibits a complex and erratic personality which i think could potentially be interpreted as symptom of bipolar disorder - bipolar is a characterized by extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania) and lows (depression) - throughout the series and manga (i think the manga shows this better) mellos behavior fluctuates dramatically displaying periods of intense energy impulsivity and irritability which align with manic episodes,,. - in the manga mellos depicted as ambitious driven and sometimes reckless in his pursuit of catching Kira. he has a chronic case of impulsive decision making such as kidnapping poeple and hijacking a character showcases a lack of regard for consequences which is a hallmark trait of manic behavior - i also think mellos extreme emotional responses ranging from fits of rage to moments of despair mirror the intense mood swings characteristic of bipolar disorder. he also struggles with self esteem and identity also point towards bipolar disorder... individuals with bipolar disorder often experience fluctuations in self esteem oscillating between grandiosity during manic episodes and profound self doubt during depressive episodes - mellos constant comparison to near (who he he and only he sees as his rival) and his need to prove himself could stem from underlying insecurities exacerbated by his mood swings

him developing bipolar could totally be a normal trauma response from literally a lot of abuse that he has faced, most of the main characters from wammys house show no signs of like rebellion or outlandish behavior like he does but that doesnt necessarily mean that nothing happened and i think the author gave characters such as near and the other orphans way too much mental fortitude. bipolar can be developed at any age and its especially common between ages 15-19. not to mention other than it being genetic, theres a huge link between bipolar and childhood trauma. like imagine being groomed your whole childhood into this competitive environment with other 4 year olds to be the smartest toddler so u can substitute this crazy genius when he dies. and think of it like come on theres no chance all of these kids desperately wanted to be detectives when they grew up there was definitely like some sort of foul play. L is an exception obviously since the orphanage became abusive after he came and he was treated like a king basically while the other orphans mental state was completely disregarded because they were only brought in from several corners of the world solely to be his successor. in fact the first generation orphans were literally expected to kill themselves because of the pressure and A killing himself literally was not a shock at all to the orphanage in fact i suspect that a lot of the first generation orphans made to succeed L had a horrible mental state and also killed themselves which if you think about it B (which stood for backup) losing his mind was completely normal even if the way he went about challenging L was not. not to mention how he had to live with shinigami eyes but thats for another post lolol.,,, anyways yeah mello's behavior is actually justified when you think about how much of an abusive household he lived in even if its kind of obvious that the author disregarded coming up with an explanation for the orphans mental wellbeing and how it would have affected their adolescence except from the character of mello and even when they show mello they basically make him seem insane and watari like an angel . reading the la bb murder cases from mello's perspective really opened my eyes to like how it actually was in wammys house u can really understand it from his tone and stuff also with that one page hold on lemme find it

'but what if they could copy him? what if they could make a backup? that was us. L's children, gathered from all corners of the world. children gathered together, never told each other's names. but even for a genuis like watari, creating a fake L was easier said than done. even for near and i, who were said to be the closest to L... the more we tried to be like him, the closer we got, the farther away he was, like chasing a mirage. so i hardly need to tell you what it was like when wammy's house was first founded, when he was still experimenting. the first child, A, was unable to handle the pressure of living up to L and took his own life, and the second child, beyond birthday, was brilliand and deviant. B stood for Backup.'

'L was the goal of everyone in wammys house. everyone one of us wanted to surpass him. to step over him. to step on him. M did, N did and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal.'

sorry for my complete lack of spelling punctuation and grammar but i think i got my point across and also big thanks to @monards who helped me finish this draft by giving me the energy to continue and also encouraging my crippling death note addiction by feeding into it with questions and remarks like 'woah!' and 'eureka!'

[mysmesomefluff]

Believe Again: Chapter 33 (Preview)

Three years later

When Saeran left the apartment this morning, it was clean, pristine and neat. He had left everything in order, having been the last one on cleaning duty over the weekend.

But now… eight hours later, he had returned… only to find that the apartment now looked like it had been completely and utterly ravaged. There was a (thankfully) wrapped diaper lying abandoned in a corner, splotches of milk powder on the floor, and little white footprints mixed with big ones trailing into the hallway. The couch looked like someone had been using it as a trampoline, pillows and cushions had been left on the floor, children’s books and toys were scattered everywhere like leaves in fall, and the dining table was a mess of food stains, some of which looked suspiciously like vomit.

Saeran had come home early, skipping out on dinner with his friends at college because MC wanted him home for dinner today. But he was starting to regret his decision when he surveyed the apartment, a grimace forming on his features when he realized he would almost certainly be dragged into cleaning everything up together with his stupid brother. Said man had one simple job today: to babysit his three-year-old child, while MC went out to do some grocery shopping.

And as expected, he had failed spectacularly at it.

The wind slammed the door shut loudly before Saeran could grab the handle. Not thinking much of it, Saeran shrugged and entered, but was promptly startled by a wail—one that belonged not to his niece, but to his brother.

Saeran sighed, carefully tip-toeing his way past the minefield of dirt to avoid getting his socks dirty. He managed past the living room and was about to approach the hallway that looked equally disastrous, when he heard an adorable, heart-stopping voice.

“Ran? Un-ko?”

Saeran froze in his tracks, wavering slightly as he almost lost his balance in the awkward position he was standing in, with one foot directly in front of the other. He was this close to stepping on a puddle of water, and he refused to get his socks wet.

The voice was followed by the sound of little feet running across the floor, like the soft pitter-patter of rain. Saeran’s eyes darted to the source of the noise, and there he found his little niece, with her wild bedhead and rubbing her big, yellow eyes. It was the most adorable thing to watch—the moment she noticed him, he watched as the sleepiness in her features evaporated in a flash, her lips parting into the brightest beam he had ever seen.

And then she was running towards him, releasing a high-pitched squeal as she went as if she were a train.

Saeran didn’t even have time to register his foot stepping into the water when she practically slammed her face against his calf, her little arms wrapping tightly around his leg like a koala to a tree.

“Unko Ran!” she cried happily, and Saeran didn’t even realise he was smiling until he noticed the slight ache in his cheeks. He bent down and scooped her into his arms easily, listening to the sound of her laugh echoing off the walls.

“Were you a good girl today, Eun-byeol?”

“Yes!” she nodded enthusiastically, cheeks turning a rosy pink as she held his cheek with one tiny hand. “Play, play!”

“I was just about to put her to sleep…” Another voice emerged, and Saeran craned his neck to see his brother slinking out of the bedroom, looking like Death itself. His hair was a complete mess, and he had what looked like marker stains on his arms and face—he must have let her use him as paper again.  

It took a moment for Saeran to realise what had probably happened, his mind going back to the loud sound that the door created when it slammed shut earlier.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch the door handle in time. The wind was too strong.”

Saeyoung merely sighed, but it seemed more exhausted than anything else. Saeran could only guess at what on earth happened in this house today. No doubt, his niece must have been a handful—she had inherited her mischievousness from Saeyoung and her stubbornness from MC. And that made for one very difficult and out-of-control kid.

Saeran remembered Saeyoung retelling how Vanderwood had laughed when he first begged him to help babysit, saying something about how “karma’s a bitch” before hanging up on him altogether.

As terrible as it sounded, Saeran couldn’t help but agree.

The most peculiar thing was that for some reason, his niece had taken an exceptional liking to him, attached to him at the hip and always wanting to play with him. It didn’t help that “Un-ko” were her first words, instead of “Mama” or “Papa”. That had upset MC and Saeyoung both so much that Saeran almost felt guilty for playing with Eun-byeol whenever she so asked.

But it wasn’t like he could refuse her, not when she was so cute. She had big, round yellow eyes, fat cheeks that he loved to poke and pinch, long, wavy red hair that made her look like an angel, and her voice was adorable too. Especially when she called his name. Like she was doing now.

“Yes, yes, I’m here,” he chuckled, patting her on the head.

“She was asking about you all day, you know. Ever since we told her that you were staying for dinner today. She even refused to take her nap until you were back.”

“You were?” Saeran asked, turning his attention back to his niece, who was beaming at him proudly once again, as if she had achieved something huge. Well, he supposed, to a three-year-old, staying up past naptime was a huge feat in itself.

“Play, Unko Ran!”

“But you need to nap first.”

His answer didn’t please the three-year-old. Her lips dropped into a pout, and she shook her head. “No, play play!”

“We’ll play after you nap,” he told her firmly, already walking back to the bedroom where she had emerged from. She started to struggle, and he had to tighten his hold around her lest she fell out of his grasp.

“No! No!”

“If you’re good, I’ll let you crack the eggs later.”  

That was the most effective bribe he had up his sleeve. Saeran smiled to himself when he watched her pause thoughtfully, mentally calculating the pros and cons of his suggestion. She had been obsessed with cracking eggs ever since they made pancakes together in the kitchen, of course while she was seated safely in her high-chair and watched Saeran do all the work. She had pleaded and begged for him to let her try cracking the eggs but he hadn’t allowed it. It took a while to placate her by giving her a slice of lemon to play with instead.

“Okay…”

She was rewarded with a peck on the forehead. “That’s my girl.”

It didn’t take long for him to put her to sleep—since she had been staying up past her naptime she was already exhausted. Within five minutes she was out cold, although it took another minute for him to carefully wrestle his index finger out from her grasp without waking her.

When Saeran left the room, he was greeted by the sight of Saeyoung wiping the floor with a wet cloth. He took a moment to watch his brother do the work, sighing as he went and looking thoroughly drained.

Parenthood was certainly taking its toll on this inexperienced father who couldn’t do anything without his wife.

In an uncommon show of sympathy, Saeran stepped forward, snatched the rag from his brother, who then looked at him, confused.

“Go sleep. You look horrible,” was all he said, before he took over and started wiping the same spot that his brother had earlier.

Saeran hated cleaning already, and his stupid brother just had to make it worse by squealing his name and throwing his arms around him in a hug. It took two kicks before Saeyoung finally let go, rubbing at the sore spots on his thigh but still wearing the silly, idiotic grin on his face.

“Thanks, Saeran. I appreciate it.”

“Just shut up and go to sleep or I’ll knock you out myself.”

***

A/N: I’m so sorry that this took so long, I died during recess week lmao and I actually had this part written out before but then I scrapped everything and re-did it soooooo yeah.

I ended up thinking more about how I can develop the plot to end things on a fluffier and happier note, which is why this probably isn’t the last chapter (AAAAAA I WAS SO READY FOR IT TO END BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT FLUFF) 

so yeah i’ll TRY MY BEST. To upload soon. But also finals are in like a moNTH so :D Anyways I’ll definitely have time to work on this after finals so wheeee it’s just a matter of time (I’m SORRY THAT I ALWAYS KEEP PPL WAITING am truly unreliable but :”(((( thx for sticking with this story i rly rly appreciate it) 

okay enough rant from me i’ll try working on this chapter more although my plan is for it to be p r e t t y  l o a d e d so it miiiight not come so soon either. I’ll just try :) 

[goreadabook2102]

What Remains of Elizabeth Clove {chapter 2}

YOU KNOW WHAT screw it. I know y'all are enjoying ch 1 of WROEC so here it is, even though I was like 33 away from my goal enjoy people { @writing-central } ••• ( [= Liz ) [ This town isn't what you think it is. There are secrets, dark secrets, lurking around every alleyway and corner you come across. And an alleyway is where our little adventure begins. First things first, call a friend. More specifically, Max, you call Cam, or Cam, you call Max. Or text, I don't care. You two need to meet in that alleyway. ] I glanced at my phone, which was resting on the bed beside me. Should I really burden Cam with this too? Fuck it. Cam deserved to know as much as I did. "So lemme get this straight," Cam started, his face shining on my phone screen. "Liz left a notebook behind before she died, explaining her death?" Cam sat back in his seat. "I'm sincerely sorry Max, but that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. " I sighed, annoyed with Cam. "I know it doesn't, but why would Liz lie about this?!" I held the notebook in front of the camera. "Since when did Liz ever lie, to any of us?" When Cam sighed, I knew I had him convinced. "Look, after school, you and I are going to this alleyway-together." Cam nodded. "Fine, but if either of us gets arrested, shot, or killed, I'm going to blame you and then murder you Maxine Rudd, murder." Laughing, I hung up on my friend. Well, the only friend who was still left alive anyway. High school. The most horrid place you can drop 1,000 hormonal teenagers in. It didn't help that if you were an outsider like me either. PSA: It also didn't help if your best friend had recently died either My only consolation was my headphones, Cam, and now, Liz's notebook. The Dark hallways reflected my mood as soft indie music played into my ears. My eyes caught the bright pink and yellow sticky notes on Liz's locker, and I sighed. Of course her locker was still decorated. But to tell the truth, I looked past the cliche notes, written with fake consolation and grief. Beyond them, I could still see us laughing together, ignoring the world as a pair. One blink, and it was back to reality. My reality. One where you kept getting shoved every step you took down the hallway. NOTE: It took 15 minutes to get to my locker that day, which was a new record. Homeroom was by far my favorite time of the day, besides lunch. It was the only time where I could get some peace. Still, I continued to get looks whenever people passed me in the hallways, as if I was somehow responsible for Liz's death. Even now, 3 weeks after her death, I still got mumbled apologies for my loss. But praise the Lord, Liz sorta sent me a sign from up above. "Cameron Guchal and Maxine Rudd, please report to the office, Guchal and Rudd, to the office. Thank you." An attendance lady said in monotony voice, like she'd rather be catching up on the latest episode of General Hospital then be at school. I don't blame her. Ignoring the stares I received from my classmates, I grabbed my bag, knowing exactly what this was about. SPOILER ALERT: The meet wasn't exactly what I thought it was about. "Sheriff Glean?!" I cried as I walked into the office, shocked. Principal Myers, my guidance counselor, and Cam I had expected to be there, but definitely not Sheriff Miles Glean. Cam glared at me, while the sheriff just chuckled to himself. "Ms. Rudd." Principal Myers said, looking unhappy with my actions. "Please have a seat." He motioned to the empty chair beside Cam. I swung my bag off of my shoulder, and sat. "Now, I want both of you to know that you aren't in trouble." He started out, assuring us of our fate. Both of us nodded, knowing the drill by now. Just nod and act like everything was fine, that we understood. "Can I speak now?" Sheriff Glean asked our Principal, who nodded. "The station and myself are currently investigating the death of Elizabeth Clove." He began. Cam glanced at me for split second, his eyes wide. "And we're still looking for her body, but we have uncovered nothing." Sheriff Glean sighed. "We were wondering if you two could help us out, give us any information as to what might've caused the accident?" Instinctively, I kicked my bag underneath my chair, hiding the notebook. "Sheriff Glean, we've told you everything we know." Cam said as my heart raced. I swear I could hear it beating, that everyone could. "Yes but is there anything? Anything that you might've known that could've caused Liz to do such a thing?!" He seemed aggravated suddenly, as if Cam's answer wasn't good enough for him. "What're you implying?" I asked him. "That Liz somehow planned this?! That she committed suicide?!" My heart was beating faster and faster now, and I didn't care if anyone heard it. Suddenly, I blinked, and I was now face to face with the Sheriff. "Ms. Rudd!" Principal Myers said, slamming his hands on his desk. "That's quite enough." He said sternly. "I understand that the recent events have been hard on everyone." He said quietly. "But Sheriff Glean is just trying to help." Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my bag. "Whatever." I muttered, my hand now on the office door. "It's not like you care anyway." As I walked out, only one thought played through my head. I was going to prove that Liz didn't kill herself, and that her death wasn't in vain. And I do whatever it took to do so. [ First, a little bit about myself before we start our-which I mean your- adventure. My name is Elizabeth Ann Clove, and I died when I was 16 years old, during the fall of my junior year. But that's what everyone believes right? Nobody wants to believe that my death was much more than a simple accident. No, it's much more than that, and this journal will tell you. ] A hand flew in front of the journal's pages. "Are you serious?!" Cam said, his tone suggesting that he was more than upset. "You can't do things like that!" Closing the journal, I glanced up at him. "It was nothing. " Cam choked on his own breath. "Are you serious?! You totally raised a hell of a lot of suspicion onto the two of us! I don't call that nothing!" I looked up from my carrots, which I had started eating while Cam had ranted. "You done now?" I asked him nonchalantly, as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't blown up on me. Sighing, my friend sat across from me. "You're a piece of work." In case you haven't realized it yet, it was now lunch time. No, the meeting in the office hadn't lasted through all the periods in between, but Cam and I don't see each other until the last two periods of the day. Our table was toward the back right corner of the cafeteria, away from the rush of those who actually fit into the social status' of high school. It used to be us three against the world, back in our little corner. Our island, is what Liz called it. As Cam started to talk away about how 5th period had went, I saw the oh so familiar red hair of the biggest bitch in school. Victoria Chernova. She was treated like royalty throughout Ashton Grove High, and that was because her parents practically owned the place. WARNING: Our relationship wasn't so good either. "Make sure you come to the 3rd annual Fall Throw Down at my place on Friday!" She chirped to the table across from ours. "That's in two days, in case you didn't know!" I rolled my eyes. "Does she think we don't know our days of the week? This isn't fucking kindergarten." I muttered to Cam. Victoria's eyes flickered over to our corner, and I suspected she had heard me. Afterall, why would she come over to our table anyway? "Well if it isn't the dead girl's group of misfits." She smirked at the two of us. "Y'know, if she were still here, you might have gotten an invitation... she was pretty cool at parties.." she trailed off, before crossing her arms. "But you two aren't getting a pity invite." Cam laughed. "Why would we want to go anyway?" Victoria cackled. "It's only the biggest party of the fall, loser, not like you'd know." She slammed a party flyer onto our table. "Have fun by yourselves on Friday." With that, the Queen Bee of AGHS sashayed away, her possy following en suite. "Cam I-" the rest of my sentence was drowned out by the bell. "I'll meet you after school, okay?" He smiled softly at me, and walked to 6th period.