#walks into opera wow I wish I memorized this before staging

[your-local-granny]

College is like *walks into class* wow I wish I had more time to dedicate to this class *walks into class* wow I wish I had more time to dedicate to this class *walks into class* wow I wish I had more time to dedicate to

[crackimagines]

Monastery of Angels (FE: Three Houses Short Fic)

Trails Of Cold Steel 3H AU Masterlist

Due to complications with the White Heron Cup, they are unable to host a dancing competition. The Monastery staff rushes to find a suitable replacement, and settle on a opera-like performance. Deciding to have the most interesting choice to make this year memorable, they decide to choose two polar opposites to sing.

Instructor Sara, chronic alcoholic and the laziest staff member of Garreg Mach.

Seteth, the most uptight and square person at Garreg Mach.

And they both despise each other.

Even if the performance ends with a catastrophic result, it would at least do the job of being a memorable year for the students.

------

Rean, Elliot, and Annette walked down the dorm’s rooms together, discussing various things ranging from schoolwork to plans for the remainder of the day.

(Annette) “I’m so bummed out they had to cancel the White Heron Cup, I was looking forward to it! I don’t know what to do because I was going to practice dancing.”

(Elliot) “Oh, the Blue Lions decided on Annette?”

(Rean) “Yeah, it was either that or Mercedes, but she insisted on Annette. Though, I guess all those plans went out the window. Did the Golden Deers decide on anyone?”

(Elliot) “We were going to choose Leonie I think. The other girls in the group didn’t want to do it. I think I was about to be the one dancing but, hah I’m glad I wasn’t!”

(Annette) “Are we even going to be doing anything on that day now?”

- They sat on the benches near the lake and greenhouse, continuing their conversation.

(Rean) “Who knows? The announcement was just made yesterday and we still got a week before it happens. I doubt they could find anything in time.”

(Sharon) “Oh, I wouldn’t doubt them that much Master Rean!”

(Rean) “WOAH!”

All of them jumped hearing a voice above them. Sharon was looking over the railing with a smile.

(Annette) “EEK!”

(Elliot) “AH! O-Oh, Sharon!”

(Annette) “When were you there?!”

(Sharon) “Just now, I apologize for startling you all! I actually was looking for Elliot!”

(Elliot) “For what?”

(Sharon) “The staff requires your musical expertise! We were originally going to send the Golden Deer’s retainer, but she wouldn’t be as fast!”

(Rean) “More like she wouldn’t get here at all...”

(Elliot) “Well, all right then. I’m honestly not sure how much of a help I can be since I play only the violin.”

(Sharon) “I bid you all a good day.”

She nodded with her head and vanished behind the railing once again. Elliot waved goodbye to the two and left with Sharon.

(Annette) “How does she keep appearing out of nowhere like that?”

(Rean) “Frankly, I’m not sure I want the answer...”

Garreg Mach’s Faculty Room, 10 minutes earlier...

(Manuela) “A musical performance? My, that’s an excellent idea!”

(Hanneman) “I agree, it could be an enticing experience!”

(Jeralt) “Oh goddess, it’s not going to be a sappy love opera, is it?”

(Catherine) “Come on, nothing like a good romance tale to spark up the tears! It’ll get all the emotional students crying, and it’d be funny!”

(Shamir) “I’m not opposed to it. Can’t say I’d be interested though.”

(Seteth) “Well, it’s only a suggestion. Lady Rhea says we are to do as we see fit.”

(Byleth) “Who’s going to be our singers? Dorothea and Manuela seem to be an obvious choice.”

(Sara) “If I remember correctly, Emma from my class was about to sing before we got transported here. Maybe we can pester her to get to singing?”

(Towa) “I-I guess worse case scenario, Angelica, Crow, and I could get on stage like last year.”

(Flayn) “May I make a recommendation?”

(Angelica) “Sure kiddo. What’s on your mind?”

(Flayn) “Sara and Seteth could perform on stage! Two lovers entering the stagelights together!”

(Seteth) “WHAT?! E-Er...Flayn, I explained this before, Sara and I are co-workers. We’re not actually engaged.”

(Sara) “Psh, why keep it a secret anymore, Seteth?”

(Seteth) “SHUT. UP.”

(Sara) “In all seriousness Flayn, I’ve never sang for an audience in my life. Doubt Seteth has either.”

(Jeralt) “You two doing a musical...hell, that’s something I’d pay to watch!”

(Byleth) “Agreed.”

(Shamir) “This sounds like a horrible idea. I’m in.”

(Manuela) “Hoho, so it’s decided then?”

Sara’s smile went away as Seteth’s eyes started to widen.

(Hanneman) “This will certainly provide an interesting result, whether or not their performances are absolutely horrid.”

(Seteth) “ABSOLUTELY NOT! I reject to this!”

(Sara) “Same here! I am NOT singing with some old fart!”

The door opened and everyone suddenly went quiet.

(Rhea) “I heard screaming from down the hall. Is everything alright?”

(Seteth) “L-Lady Rhea! I apologize for the commotion. In brief, they are recommending a musical performance with Valestein and I front and center together! It’s a bad plan, you must agree!”

(Rhea) “And who was the one who suggested it?”

(Flayn) “It was me, Lady Rhea. Our job is to create an interesting year for the students. correct? I thought this line of action would be sufficient enough for that requirement!”

(Seteth) “I apologize for her abhorrent idea.”

(Rhea) “I absolutely agree. This is a terrible idea-”

(Sara) “Oh thank Adios.”

(Rhea) “A terrible idea I would like to see come true as well.”

(Seteth) “HUH?!”

Rhea smiled at the two.

(Rhea) “If you are not to agree willingly, then I order you as Archbishop to sing with Instructor Valestein. The order goes to you as well, Sara.”

(Seteth) “B-But...!” sigh “As you wish, Lady Rhea. Please excuse me.”

Seteth left the room. Sara quickly followed out the door and headed straight for the bar.

(Shamir) “Wow, you DO have a sense of humor.”

(Catherine) “Hey, don’t speak like that to her!”

(Jeralt) “Oh man, this is gonna be a good time.”

(Byleth) snrk “I’ll uh, talk with Sara to make sure she’s sober enough to teach tomorrow.”

(Manuela) “Towa, can you get your maid to gather the most musically talented of Class VII? I must speak with Dorothea in writing our song!”

(Towa) “You got it, Manuela! Come on Angelica!”

(Flayn) “I wonder why they act as if they hate each other?”

(Hanneman) “Er...-”

(Manuela) “Don’t you DARE tell her!”

(Flayn) ???

Next week, day of the performance...

Manuela and Dorothea poured all their strength into writing the song that the two would perform, and afterwards gathered the students who could play musical instruments together.

After several rehearsals and days of hangover, the day of reckoning had arrived.

(Rhea) “It is my regret that due to complications, we are unable to perform with the White Heron Cup. However, we have brought in a substitute that I hope is satisfactory to make up for this unfortunate circumstance. A musical performance by our students and staff of the academy!”

Everyone clapped gently and watched as everyone got into positions.

(Manuela) “Oh, this is it Dorothea! Our genius coming to life!”

(Dorothea) “They better do this right, or I’m killing them!”

(Elliot) “Hah, I doubt their pride would let them fail!”

(Dorothea) “Come on, Ellie! This is THOSE two we’re talking about!”

(Emma) “Oh, here they come!”

Class VII and several of the staff in the audience began clapping and cheering, in a mocking but loving way.

(Rean) “You got this instructor!”

(Alisa) “Knock ‘em dead!”

(Millium) “WOOOOOOOO! SARAAAAAAA!”’

(Laura) “I’ve never seen a musical before, and I doubt THIS would be a good representation of one.”

(Jeralt) “Make this entertaining will ya?”

(Byleth) “I made bets with the mercs to say that this will end terribly!”

(Jeralt) “That’s my boy!”

(Machias) “100 mira says that blood’s gonna spill.”

(Sharon) “200 says we have to clean up the mess!”

(Fie) “I’ll take those odds.”

(Jusis) “Whose idea even was this?”

(Towa) “It was Flayn’s...I can’t say I agree that it’s a good plan though.”

(Angelica) “It’ll be funny at least!”

(Hanneman) “While I agree, you shouldn’t doubt Manuela and Dorothea’s musical capabilities. I’m sure we’re in for a surprise!”

(Catherine) “Crap, how much is Byleth betting?”

(Shamir) “100 gold I think. We should get the coins in before the song starts.”

Meanwhile, Sara and Seteth were standing next to each other, looking at the audience.

(Seteth) “This is just a fine mess you got us into!”

(Sara) “Psh, how is this MY fault?!”

(Seteth) “Oh I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact YOU SAID TO FLAYN YOU WERE GOING TO MARRY ME?!”

(Sara) “Don’t you yell at me you old sonuvabitch! You should be lucky people other than Flayn suddenly pay attention to you! Thanks to my little joke, you’re able to even be in the spotlight!”

(Seteth) “AS IF IT’S SOMETHING TO BRAG ABOUT BEING WITH YOU! YOU’D BE WASTING AWAY IN THE BARS IF IT WERE NOT FOR ME AND LADY RHEA GIVING YOU THIS JOB! ONCE THIS IS OVER, FIND A MAN YOU CAN MARRY AND LEECH OFF OF, YOU ALCOHOLIC WENCH!”

(Sara) “HOW ABOUT I MARRY MY FOOT TO YOUR FACE, JACKASS?!”

(Seteth) “I’D LIKE YO SEE YOU TRY!”

Sara and Seteth grabbed each other’s collar ready to kill. Both rolling up their fists to punch.

When the curtains finally rolled back, most of the audience saw that they were about to murder each other. They quickly let go and cleared their throats.

(Flayn) “I wonder what love song Dorothea and Manuela wrote?”

(Manuela) “Band...BEGIN!”

---

[You’re Nothing Without Me - City of Angels]

(Seteth) 

You are some gumshoe, 

You just don’t think well

Get this straight Valestein,

You can go straight to hell!

Is your mouth lonely,

With one foot in there?

Sara your brain only holds thoughts I put in there!

Just, what you are I’ll spell out:

You, are a major pain!

One speck of lint that fell out,

The last time that I picked my brain!  

(Sara)

You are so jealous 

Of my fight record!

Seteth do tell us your feeble hack record

Your weak knees brand you,

Soft and unstable!

One small threat,

And you fold like a card table!

You, drool at my adventures!

Your, broads in bed are bored!

Go, home and soak your dentures,

Your sword is no match for my gun!

(Sara/Seteth)

You're nothing! 

Without me!

A no-one who'd go undefined!

You wouldn't exist,

You'd never be missed!

I tell you you're out of my mind!

A show off!

A blowhard!

You're equal parts hot air and gall!

And no one would doubt me,

Without me you're nothing at all!  

(Seteth)

You're in my house,

I'm still your employer,

I call each shot,

I'm your private dic-tator!  

(Sara)

You are so thick, you,

Eat, breathe, sleep fiction!

I'm your meal ticket,

Knee-deep in cheap fiction!

(Seteth)

You, gloating ignoramus!

You, haven’t any shame!

(Sara)

Hey, I’m a famous-shamus!

And most people don’t your name!

(Seteth) “Drunk.”

(Sara) “Uptight.”

(Seteth) “Child!”

(Sara) “Old man!”

(Seteth) 

“BITCH!”

(Sara) 

“ASSHOLE!”

(Sara/Seteth)

You’re nothing!

Without me!

Without me you’d just disappear!

Right into thin air,

And no one would care,

Or notice you ever were here!

A puppet! 

An upstart!

A loser who's destined to fall!

I'm everything you always wanted to be!

Let's deal with the issue:

You wish you were me!

You're nothing without me!

Without me you're nothiiiiiiiiiing,

AT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!

---

Sara and Seteth were ready to go back to murdering each other before hearing a thunderous applause.

(Manuela) “GODDESS, WE DID IT DOROTHEA!”

(Dorothea) “HOLD ME! HAHAHAA-”

(Elliot) “That was a lot of fun...I-If not scary.”

(Emma) “We performed this so many times but it sounded like they didn’t even need the script to sing their hatred!”

(Flayn) “...That wasn’t a love song at all!”

(Catherine) “Ooooh crap. We owe Byleth money.”

(Shamir) “Good thing I betted for her.”

(Catherine) “YOU TRAITOR!”

(Byleth) “Hah, got some good cash tonight!”

(Jeralt) “Son of a...I lost to my own kid in a gamble...”

(Fie) “Hah, I got some Mira from you, Machias!”

(Machias) “Damn it!”

(Rean) “That was amazing! Good job you guys!”

Sara and Seteth bowed before heading out of the room.

(Sara) “Hmph. Not bad, considering it’s you.”

(Seteth) “I could say the same. Now, let us never speak of this again.”

(Sara) “Agreed. I’m going to drink myself to death tonight to forget all about this.”

(Seteth) “Please do...”

They both went their separate ways for that night. Seteth was found in his room face first into his pillow by Flayn while Sara was carried home by Byleth after being too drunk.