#waking in a bad place
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The curse of being Barbie's younger sister
Pooh Bear Corner on the Kings Highway to Batemans Bay.
This place was designated as a demolition point in WWII. If the Japanese invaded, the road would be blown and a portion of the mountain brought down to stop any advance. The small tunnel was packed with explosives and a checkpoint regulated traffic. It was, obviously never used. Over the years, people started leaving "offerings". Knick knacks, kids toys. Slowly it morphed into Pooh Bear's Corner. The quality of "offerings" varies with the seasons and the holidays.
#original photographers#Pooh Bear Corner#Kings Highway#offerings#junk#voodoo offerings#waking in a bad place#Barbie's sister
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In a kinder universe
#arlecchino#peruere#clervie#arlevie#freminet#lyney#lynette#The idea of HOTH being a much brighter and comfortable place with the inclusion of mama clervie has me SICK months later#everyday i wake up and start shaking and crying over pixels I hate it here so bad
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nightmares
#vashwood#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun maximum#another sleep-related comic - idk what it is about sleep stuff in terms of love language and all but#it is hitting in particular with vw... idk... i like to see them well rested because theyre so Usually not#night time should be the time and place where they can be well rested and get away from the world#but theyre both so haunted and troubled that it follows them to sleep#as a result i think they are both sleeptalkers... and usually when one is asleep the other is awake just by habit so they'd know and get#familiar with the sleeptalking... i think wolfwood would thrash and kick in his sleep though and can end up hurting himself or vash#so vash wakes him. vash does this too but only bc he curls up and scratches at himself. some night its bad enough that he needs to be woken#up and some nights he just needs some warmth#ruporas art
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chosen by the goddess
#link#legend of zelda#loz#tears of the kingdom#totk#art#ok did anyone else feel bad for link for having to go through the -thinks he died and wakes up in an unfamiliar place alone and naked-#thing again like i just imagined him being so scared that another 100 years had passed and everyone he’d ever known was dead#idk. i have feelings about him
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ive been thinking about the red string superstition recently and also sol bufo always and it makes me sick how uncannily caldwell tanner has made sol to perfectly target me personally
(+ cropped versions !)
#naddpod#ba2mia#ba2umia#solum bufo#swag daniels#calliope petrichor#calder kilde#alexandrite#posts by me dot com#okay..... SECRET TAGS RAMBLE!#so basically this superstition is like ... i think a chinese/buddhist/taoist superstition?#ive taken some creative liberties with it... but its mostly accurate to how its been told to me?#but of course theres lots of variations! some more abt bad luck; some say to tie it on the doorknob#etc etc ... lots a variations#i was also rlly interested in the .... weird illogic? of the thing?#like the red attracts and repels spirits at the same time#so thats something i was thinking about with too. red is assocuated with both swag and alexandrite. which to me was kinda reflecting like#i think what murph said . swags place in the wild is in a way. an extension of what he learned from the network#mothership s inextractivle from sol and swags lives. they will always be held doen by it. thats the spirit that will follow them forever#that they choose to hold on too! as much pain as it brought ... some of the experience was worth it#and anyway. theres somethingwrong w me that the minute someone brought up this superstition my brain went#'ohhh just like sol!' < needs to touch grass moment#but i CANT BELIEVE. CALDWELL DID THE RED STRING. AND ITS LITERALLY A MOURNING RITUAL#caldwell keeps accodentally makig that frog ASIAN. to MEEEE!!!!!!#but. anyway. idk. ive always hced sol kept the piece of yarn and it makes me kinda .... what if y let the malicious spirits follow you.#and haunt you. what if its the closest you can get to keeping the person still around#and sol and swag obviously have so much about homes .... so!#(ok. weve reached the pt where maybe nobodys reading? so confession is this is sort of a well. ive just been doodling this comic everyday#after a wake. and it was sort of inspired after realising i was even a bit sad about it maybe. so. idk its about sol but also?#i guess the projection doesnt end at him being asian. hehe. is what i mean. LOL. okay secret tags over . buried lore. dont look here folks)
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🇺🇸💵🤔
#america#taxes#taxpayers#warning#know where you money are spent by your government would be a great place to start eliminating corruption bad actors scammers criminals#deep state’s oligarchs are making shore your money go in their pockets and for their crippled needs#wake up america#crimes against humanity#these people are evil#speaktruth#fight for justice#standup#corruption#speak up#truth#please share#wwg1wga
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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I feel you, its so bad 😭, I had to go on a functioning adult human schedule for school and good god, out the house by 7am... bad bitches are not built for that..
WE REALLY ARE... and man, I can brute force myself into any schedule if there are things that HAVE to be done at certain times (like school, like you said) but it absolutely never feels "right". it feels like waking up at 3am to go to the airport type of shit. and it is truly so annoying... to get hit with the "that's a Normal schedule, you need to Fix your schedule" okay. alright. but let me hit you with this one. is it "normal" or is it just conducive to a 8 - 5. because no matter what my sleep schedule is like, or how locked in I am, I'm more clear headed at night + more productive and energetic. and no matter what, I'm tired during the day, especially the brightest times of day when the sun is allegedly supposed to be signaling my brain to be awake and alert. and it doesn't matter how much sleep I got.
#I can wake up in The Early Morning after going to bed at a reasonable hour the night prior and be exhausted throughout the daytime#and if I make it to the night then I'll suddenly perk back up. if I woke up at 7am that morning (with 8 hours of sleep under my belt)#I can comfortably stay awake until 5 or 6am that very next morning.#I need to Adapt to the daytime schedule- but if I loosen my grip on myself at all I will instantly SNAP back to the nighttime one.#full rubberband moment.#I don't need to transition back into it. my body just wants to click it back in place#I'll go right back into the swing of it as soon as I'm allowed to again#sergle answers#also I don't have trouble sleeping in daylight hours. yeah I have the curtains drawn in my room#but they aren't Blackout curtains. it's dim in there but not Dark. that doesn't impede me at all#it is crazy the way that people are so confident in telling me to my face that I'm on a bad and lazy schedule#bc they are categorizing my wake-up time as 'sleeping in' bc they're measuring it on their standard of when THEY go to bed.#i could go to bed at noon and wake up at 3pm and they'd say that i slept in
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Initiation
#this had 100 layers#i go months without drawing anything properly and then i just kinda go into a flow state and do something like this#this isn't a very original idea i don't think but i wanna think i did it my way at least#now back into hibernation for a billion years :)#Alan Wake#Saga Anderson#Alan Wake 2#Alan Wake II#Remedy Entertainment#Remedy Games#The Dark Place#Initiation#fanart#digital fanart#alan wake fanart#my art#a fun thing about this was i see places i can improve but#instead of feeling bad for it not being as good as it was in my head i'm happy for the chance to learn#which is nice#i STILL cannot draw hands#and that's not a learning opportunity i just never am gonna learn#jk
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i don’t know what the fuck to think or feel. heart feeling so heavy
#think i was clinging to the idea that the boys didn’t know or care about him personally and i still don’t want to think that’s the case but#if we’re being realistic they know. they have to know#and everyone in the comments preaching about how bin doesn’t know anything about p*th outside of music has to be new levels of delusional#they’re idols yeah. they’re also humans with access to the internet and we know damn well they read everything we say to them#chris is on fucking skz tiktok like. wake up#it’s like 50% the fact that it was posted in the first place that’s getting to me and 50% the ignorance and babying in the comments#i just feel like fucking shit. my anxiety hasn’t felt this bad in so long#*musings#don’t even think i’m capable of being impartial or coherent rn i just needed to get this off my chest somewhere#like it’s one thing to collab with him on a professional basis and another to post a selfie like you’re friends#wish this song didn’t exist to be so real
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every day im reminded that though my parents may have wanted a dog they clearly did not want to take care of a dog
#and i KNEW this which was why i insisted on not getting dogs though they keep trying to gaslight me#into thinking that i agreed on the dogs. i didnt and i wish id railed against it harder#because ill be honest i knew i didnt want to take care of a dog i wasnt in the headspace#but i also knew that if they got the dog that the actual caring duties would be foisted off to me#and the things that They would have to do ie go to the vet nd pay the bills etc theyd complain about and avoid#and thats one thjng. but oh my fucking god. my dad specifically#its like hes trying to get these dogs to die. we have several plants in the backyard#bad for dogs. i point them out. i have pointed them out Several times.#theyre his plants the gardens his thats none of my things. he just goes oh they wont get into them#THEYRE DOGS. but he doesnt want to move his fucking plants#one of the dogs is on medicine but has a habit of not eating his food in the morning#which means if u leave his medicine in hjs bowl the other dog might eat it#one solution is to give him the tablet straight. because hes good about eating it#he doesnt want to because 'thats gross'. Are you five fucking years old#the dog doesnt like the texture of dry food so another solution is to wet it#dad wont do that either because 'hes too spoiled' and 'it takes time' ONE MINUTE?????????#like i have to assume this is some kind of ploy to make me do it instead when i dont wake up that early#because if its not then hes truly just incompetent or doesnt care about the dogs#which brings me back to WHY DID YOU GET THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.#im sick of having to worry about them when he just does shit like this its wasting my time and its wasting money#but ohhhh we dont want to give the dogs away theyre part of the family 🥺#CLEARLY. because apparently u wanted kids but didnt want to take care of them either!!#im pissed off!!! im tired!!!!!!!!#i need to know im not going batshit here for being pissed off!!!!!#the dogs are getting back to back problems and at least some of it would have been mitigated by oh.#i dont know. the bare minimum?????#at least if the plants had been taken care of i wouldnt have to wonder if theyd just gotten into them#or if its an actual problem like a mass or bite. but no now i dont know#and at this rate were going to waste money going to the vet every fucking week
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Visual representation of nsfw creators all over the world being subject to USAmerican movements and having to just hold on and hope the US-only petitions make enough noise.
#there's nothing that quite expresses#how exhausting it is#to spend years waking up#no knowing if my income and work and fun#is being shut down#at any moment#and every ounce of that is coming from organisations and politicians#completely unreachable to me#then having to hear USAmericans claim they're gonna#leave to escape it#or how bad it is For Them#like ffs at least you have Some recorse#the rest of us just have to hope there's some way to work around it or it falls thru#“why are you so interested in us politics focus on your own shit”#stop fucking up peoples livelihoods?#(and also ya know#invading and bombing the living shit out of other places#you cant Not be effected by us politics)
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I wanted to post my comment that I made on the Minecraft trailer video to tumblr so people can see my thoughts and rambles
I just love Minecraft and the idea of it so much and to see it portrayed as something cheap and hollow legitimately saddens me. And I will personally fist fight Warner bros in a parking lot
#minecraft movie#minecraft movie bad#I’m PISSED#why do they LOOK LIKE THAT#WHY ARE THE PIGLINS IN THE OVERWORLS#WHY IS THE PORTAL BLUE#ok I get why the portal is blue BUT THERE SHOULDNT BE IRL PEOPLE IN THE FIRST PLACE#IT SHOULD BE A BLOCK PERSON#BC FUCKING EVERYTHING ELSE IS BLOCKS#WHY ARE YOU IMMUNE TO BLOCKAGE#WHAT DO THE VILLAGERS LOOK LIKE#ARE THEY EVEN GOING TO FIGHT THE ENDER DRAGON#OR ARE YOU GONNA BE A COWARD#I don’t want to see this movie#I want it to get the Sonic treatment#please for the love of god redo the movie#postpone it to 2027#re do it#you can keep Jack black and Jason momoa#JUST MAKE THEM ANIMATED YOU FUCKING WEIRDOS#why are you people so obsessed with isekais#the story should be some dude wakes up in the world#he’s a block person#does he know his life before#who knows#but now he’s gotta survive#wouldn’t it be hilarious if he had a backpack that worked like an inventory#like things shouldn’t fit in there#but they do#and it’s seemingly bottomless
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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Got to season 7 on my CSI rewatch and I need to talk about the final scene in s07e11, where Grissom is saying goodbye to Sara before leaving to go on his sabbatical. I mean, look at him. Look at what he does with his hands. *Agressively* Look at himmmmm. He's just a little puppy in love. And he does this right before whispering, "I'll miss you". I'm afraid I'm not gonna make it y'all
#sadly he whispered the last line so quiet and gently the captions didn't catch it but i'm glad i did#he's SO FUCKING SWEET#can't believe i'm bawling my eyes out over a middle aged man doing cute kawaii hand thingy#i wanna marry him so bad#like i wanna put a ring on his finger and i want to have meals with him and do house chores with him#and watch tv on the couch with him until we both fall asleep but i wake up and put a blanket over him#i want to make him hot chocolate#i want to listen to him talk about bugs even though most of them gross me out#i will literally DIE if i don't marry gil grissom#“oh but he's fictional” LIKE THAT WILL STOP ME#i will be thinking about this scene for the rest of my life#how sara didn't drop everything and made out with him right then and there is beyond me#i mean they could've closed the door right. ever heard of making out at work? fuck the rules#you're already breaking one by dating in the first place#csi#gsr#please someone talk to me about the hand thingy please it's been hours i have not recovered
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