#wake up crying and i would call ty and he would help me go back to bed. then like they stopped after a while. but then it was a new thing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ewanmitchellconnoisseur · 9 months ago

Text

"𝑨𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒚" - 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 2 Aemond x Reader

A/N: I had not originally planned on this being a series but the Aemond girlies loved the first one so here is a second as a lil gift. //Divider by @firefly-graphics & @cafekitsune

Summary: You wake up to unfortunate circumstances. It only gets worse when you finally get some answers. A dream confirms that whatever chance you had at having a normal life was gone.

TW: Blood, Death.

← Previous Part • Final Chapter →

Word Count: 3.6k (Not proofread, we die like men 🫡Im also just too tired I'll do it eventually🤣)

You yawned as you sat up in your bed rubbing your eyes. You look over to the spot Aemond was in and simply see a flower. Blushing you reach over and smell the flower.

You look over to the bath on the other side of the room and notice there's no steam coming out of it. You stand up and grab your robe off of the armchair next to your bed.

You walk over to the door after you wrap yourself in the armchair and attempt to open the door. You're shocked when the door doesn't open or move an inch.

"Hello?" You try opening the door again but they don't budge. "Is anyone out there?" You wait but hear no response.

You're unsure of what to do now. You look around your room for something to do. All that you manage to find are some of your old toys and unfinished projects.

You sit in front of the fireplace trying to think of what could possibly be going on. You remember a piece of the wall that could move and search for it, trying your best to remember exactly where it was. You end up finding it next to your dresser.

The piece moves easily and you reach inside. Your hand touches something and you instantly remember. You lay down flat on your stomach reach in with both hands and pull out the wooden box.

You're filled with nostalgia as you sit down on your bed with the box. You blow off the smoke and open it up.

Inside lies a small journal which you place to the side already deciding you have to see what young you used to write about. Inside also lies a small cushion you had sewn for you and Halaena's dolls. One of your teeth which Aegon convinced you to let him take out by tying it with string to a door.

You're confused for a moment at the last item. It's a black handkerchief with gold detailing. You pick it up and stare at it a moment before you remember.

Aemond had found you crying in a corner of the library covered in dirt, mud and God knows what else. He had asked you what happened and although you didn't want to tell him he convinced you too. You admitted that your brothers had joined Aegon in tormenting you by throwing mud at you insisting it was just a joke.

Aemond felt bad especially since he understood what it meant to be at the end of their cruel jokes. He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the mud off of your face before walking you to his mother's chambers.

Alicent cleaned you off and got you a clean dress before seeking out the boys and your mother. All three of them were forced to shovel horse shit while you, Helaena and Aemond watched and ate cake.

The memory brought a smile to your face. Aemond had asked you for the handkerchief back but you told him you couldn't find it.

You pick the journal back up excitedly and open it up to a random page.

King's Landing 117 AC

Dear Diary,

Today my brother was born. Father named him Joffrey, I personally think his name is stupid but I held my tongue. Septa Anne would be proud. I went with the boys to the dragon pit today. It was awfully boring. Aemond and I watched while they got to practice commands. AND YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY DID! They gave us pigs! PIGS! Called them the "Pink Dreads".

Sometimes I wish I could just gouge out Aegon's eyes and put them in his soup when he isn't looking...maybe I can get Helaena to catch a beetle for me...

Anyways. I went to the kitchen to get cake but then Harwin stole it! He said it was taxes? WHAT EVEN IS TAXES?

You can't help but laugh as you continue to read. You fall asleep while reading about the time Aegon fell out of a tree while trying to grab a bird.

You wake up and blink a couple times, clearing your vision. You sit up and jump back when you see Aemond next to you lying in your bed.

"Gods! When did you get here?" He has a smirk on his face as he continues to read while eating an apple.

"A while ago. You were sleeping peacefully I didn't wish to wake you." You nod and look at what he's holding. You quickly notice it's your diary and try to snatch it out of his hand but he's quicker. He clicks his tongue at you as you try to reach for it. "Im quite enjoying this. Listen to this one. Aemond gave me a flower today!"

"Aemond! Stop! Give it back" Your face flushes in embarrassment. "I was a kid!" He drops the apple and manages to grabs your hands with one of his and holds them down.

"He is so cute!" He looks back at you with a shocked expression. "You thought I was cute, princess?" Aemond pulls you to sit in his lap and you hide your face in his neck out of embarrassment. "Aemond smiled at me today!"

"Stop!!! Please I beg of you!" He laughs and puts the journal down.

"And this!" He lifts you out of his neck and waves the handkerchief in your face. "You swore to me that you lost it! Liar!"

Aemond begins tickling you and rolls you over caging you under him. He leans down and leaves a trail of kisses from your neck down to your collarbone.

"Aemond?" He hums back in response. "Why was I locked in my chambers?" He stops kissing you for a moment before he leaves a final one on your cheek and sits up.

"You need to break fast first...then we can talk."

Aemond calls for food and for your handmaids to prepare you a bath. You're shocked at first cause of how open he was about being in your chambers while you were fully undressed. You wanted to ask if the talk had gone well about the betrothal and if that's why he was ok with people seeing him here but you opted to wait.

He watches you eat occasionally grabbing slices of fruit off of your plate.

"If you want one you could just take from the tray you know?" He smirks as he puts another grape in his mouth.

"But they taste much better off of your plate." He leans over and bites the strawberry that you're holding.

"So." He leans back in his chair. "Are you going to tell me why I was locked in here?"

The atmosphere immediately changes and is tense. He sighs deeply.

"...King Viserys died..."

Your eyes widen and you drop the food in your hand back onto the plate. Your heart clenches at the news. You had spent much of childhood following him around, you had even willingly chosen to be his cupbearer in some of his council meetings simply because you wanted to be near him.

"...that doesn't explain why I was locked in my chambers Aemond. Matter of fact that is far from an explanation. If my grandsire died I should have been notified."

Aemond fidgets with his hands the same way Alicent does as he looks at the wall.

"Kepus. What are you not telling me?" He continues staring at the wall occasionally looking at you. "Aemond." [Uncle]

"Aegon was crowned king." He says it quickly with his head held high. "As the king's firstborn son, he is the rightful heir. He was crowned before the masses in the dragon pit."

Aemond watches as your breathing quickens and your facial expressions. Your lips are pressed together as you're clenching your hands so tight.

"Who made that decision?"

"It was the King's wish. He said it upon his deathbed to my mother." You roll your eyes and stare at the wall. There was a battle going on within your head. Part of you was understanding of the firstborn son point but the other part was devastated for your mother.

"Does my mother know? What of my grandmother? I was supposed to leave with her this mourning."

"...your grandmother interrupted the crowning. She was riding Meleys, many people died and just as many were injured." You cover your mouth with a shaking hand. "I believe she is already on her way to Dragonstone probably to speak to your mother..."

Meanwhile in Dragonstone

Rhaenys wasted no time heading straight for the princess. She had no time for formalities.

She walks into the room seeing them both by the fireplace.

"Thank you, Ser Lorent." Rhaenys stops at the head of the table. "Princess Rhaenys, might we hope for news of Lord Corlys' recovery?"

"Viserys is dead." Rhaenyra's face drops as Daemon turns around. "I grieve this loss with you Rhaenyra. My cousin, your father...possessed a kind heart." Rhaenyra struggled to comprehend what was happening. She knew her father would die soon but hoped she would be back to King's Landing in time to be there.

"There is more. Aegon has been crowned as his successor" Rhaenyra clutches her stomach as Daemon walks over.

"They crowned him?" Rhaenyra was looking off into space, grieving.

"How did Viserys die?" Daemon had a look on his face that no one could quite place. Was he sad? Angry? Or just plain confused.

"I could not say." They both look at each other.

"How long ago?" Rhaenyra asks.

"A day past, perhaps two. I was made prisoner in my quarters while the Queen made her preparations."

"Viserys has been slain." Daemon watches Rhaenyra.

"Alicent demanded you declare for Aegon." It was not a question, Rhaenyra already knew that it had happened.

"She did. I refused her." Rhaenyra let out a shaky breath.

"And yet you are alive." Of course, Daemon was skeptical, when was he ever not?

"The High Septon crowned Aegon in the Dragonpit. I witnessed it myself just before I fled on Meleys." Rhaenyra was still clutching her stomach.

"They crowned him before the masses." Rhaenys nodded.

"So that the masses would see him as their rightful King," Rhaenys responded.

"That whore of a Queen murdered my brother and stole his throne. And you could have burned them all for it." Daemon's unknown emotion was now evident, he was angry, livid even.

"A war is like to be fought over this treachery, to be sure. But that war is not mine to begin. I only rushed this warning to you out of loyalty to my husband and to my house." She took a deep breath. "The greens are coming for you Rhaenyra. And for your children."

"M-my children?" Rhaenyra's face contorted in pain. "My daughter! You brought her with you?" Daemon stood straight up.

"Sadly...no...Alicent had her chambers guarded well and her room had no passages. I'm sorry. I did not wish to leave my granddaughter either."

"You left my daughter with those cunts?" Daemon walked around the table to face Rhaenys. "You left her to become a bargain in this war?"

"I did my best Prince Daemon. We have allies within those walls that can get a message to her. Once I hear word she is alright I will be sending someone in to retrieve her."

"You have done enough." Daemon pointed at her. "I will retrieve my child from the snakes you fed her too."

"Enough Daemon..." Daemon turned to face Rhaenyra who was now hunched over gripping the table. "The babe... it's coming..."

King's Landing

Aemond watched as you paced around the room. You had requested he leave you alone for the a day only allowing in your handmaidens and refusing to see anyone else.

Since you had called for him this morning you hadn't said anything in almost an hour and instead paced around the room looking for the words to start this conversation. Occasionally you would stop, point at him and open your mouth but then you'd scowl and resume pacing again. He could tell you were conflicted.

"Ñuha jorrāelagon, kessa ao sit ilagon? Before you burn a hole into the floor." [My Love, will you sit down?]

"Now is not a time for jokes, Aemond! Do you know what your family has done? This is an act of war! They have usurped the throne right out from under my mother's feet. If you think she will let this go easily- no, if you think Daemon will let this go easily you are all sorely mistaken." you begin pacing again.

Aemond stood up and walked over to you and grabbed your hands.

"Gīda." [Calm] He pushed a strand of hair out of your face. "Everything is going to be ok."

"What will happen to me?" The thought had crossed your mind many times as you wondered what would be made of you.

"My grandsire and the King have agreed to our betrothal. They will announce it as part of the terms if she agrees to declare Aegon as the rightful King and kneel before him and the council."

"Terms?" You back away from him letting go of his hands. "Our marriage would no longer hold meaning Aemond. It would be seen merely as something my mother won in bowing to Aegon, a spoil of war. Either way, she would never say yes."

"Then Aegon will marry us anyway." He shrugs and pulls you back into him as if none of this bothered him. "He is my brother and he knows of the love I hold for you."

"And if I say no?" His face became stern.

"You wouldn't hurt me so."

"You mean the way that you have today?" He sighs deeply. "Why did you not come and free me from my chambers?"

"Because I knew you would leave at the first chance." You look away from him and he turns your face back towards him. "You're mine and I wasn't willing to risk losing what is mine."

You would typically enjoy this possessive air around him but you currently found it suffocating. You wanted nothing more than to put space between you but he was holding you tight against him.

"Aemond. This is not right. You must understand that?" He rolled his eyes and let you go.

"Who sits on the throne is none of my concern and not on my list priority."

"Then what is?" You step towards him angrily.

"You!" he snaps. "You are my only priority. If you say no to marrying me then you will be made prisoner here. You will spend the entirety of this war locked in here." You could tell he was being truthful. "Marry me and you will at least have some freedom."

"Some?" He walked back over to the table and sat down tired of this conversation. "What is some?"

"You will be allowed to walk freely around the castle with a guard of my choosing."

"And Vermithor?" You think of your dragon and where he could be. You had claimed him when you returned to Dragonstone after what happened at Driftmark. Aemond's bravery in claiming Vhagar led you to sneak into where he sleeps and approach the dragon yourself. You had also thought that if you claimed him you could ride to King's Landing and see him. You had learned the song Daemon would sing and tried singing it to him to calm him down. It worked despite almost being burnt to a crisp you had claimed him.

"I will visit him on Vhagar." He reached for your hand but you shied away. "You must understand that my grandsire worries about allowing you to have full freedom. After a while, you will be allowed to go riding."

"How long is a while Aemond?" He visibly gulped and bit the inside of his cheek. "How long?" Your voice was cold and made the hairs on his neck stand.

"Until you give birth to our firstborn." He said it quietly already knowing how you would react. It was smart you'd give them that. They know you wouldn't fly away while your child is in their possession. "My grandfather's decision not my own."

"And did you try to fight him on it?"

"Why would I?" He shrugged but soon noticed the angry expression on your face. "I want marriage with you, I want children." He tried to reach for you again.

"So do I Aemond! But not like this." You take his hand and he pulls you to sit on his lap. "I want us to marry because it is what we want. I want my mother to be there! This isn't the way I want to do this."

Aemond leans his head against your chest.

"My hands are tied, my love." You get off of his lap and walk over to the fireplace facing your back to him.

"I wish to be alone."

"Baby..." You hear him get up and walk over to you.

"Please go...now!" A few seconds later you hear him sigh and leave the room. You sit on the armchair and allow yourself to cry.

This was all too much for you. You worried for your mother and the rest of your family. Did they think you were a traitor now? Will they think you have chosen Aemond's family over them if you were to marry him?

You know there's no way your mother will kneel before Aegon, even if she decides to, Daemon would rather lock her in her chambers than agree to that.

How could they be so foolish? So reckless?

You walk over to your bed and lie down. You go over the pros and cons of agreeing to marry Aemond. You then think about ways you could escape. Maybe agreeing to a betrothal will at least get you the right to walk around, you could find your parent's allies within the walls and find a way back to them.

You can stall the wedding for a while. Aemond would understand you'd prefer to be married only after the war was over and your family could attend.

You soon tire yourself out with all this thinking and fall asleep.

You spend the next day alone in your chambers. Alicent had invited you to join her in breaking your fast but you respectfully declined. You needed more time.

You saw a boat sail out from King's Landing and knew it was most likely Otto heading out to deliver the terms to your mother. You knew it would not go well and they would be lucky if she didn't feed them to Syrax for their treachery.

It was only the following midday when you grew worried. You saw Vhagar fly away from the castle. Part of you wish you knew where he was going and the other part of you remained angry. You thought he knew you better, if he did he would have fought harder for your freedom right? He would have denied Otto's offer and not allowed him to make your marriage into something that they hoped would sway your mother into giving up her crown.

Gods you missed her, you prayed every moment for her safety. For all of their safety.

It rained that night. Something was off. You could feel it in your bones. You tried to sleep hoping it would calm your nerves. Your handmaid brought you tea to help you relax. You soon fell asleep but sadly even your dreams were disturbed.

You wake up on the floor of pitch black. Everything around you was dark. There was no light just darkness. You sat up and looked around.

"Hello?" Your voice echoed. You stood up and began walking around in the dark abyss not knowing where you were going.

"Gēlȳn enkagon jamela!" You hear Aemond's voice. [You owe a debt!]

You quickly turned around but nothing was there.

"Aemond?" You walked in the direction that you heard his voice. As you got closer you noticed your feet getting wet.

"Taoba!" You hear him again but in a different direction. [Boy!]

You turned again where you heard his voice and walked quicker in that direction. You felt something patter on your head and looked up. Nothing was there just darkness but you could for sure feel something wet as if it was rain.

There was a flash of a bright light to which you shielded your face.

"Daor Arrax!" Arrax? That's Luke's dragon.

"Luke? Luke, are you there?" You noticed your clothes clinging to your body as they were now soaked the scent of salty water filling your nose.

"Vhagar! No! No..." What had happened? Why was he saying no?

You look around you quickly trying to make sense of what it is you are hearing. The rain is heavier and you look at your hands. They aren't just wet...they're red. Your dress is now too stained red. You touch your cheek and look back at your hands and see the same red substance.

Something drops from above causing you to step back quickly. More pieces fall from the sky surrounding you. You shield your head and scream as the red rain grows heavier and more pieces fall.

When the rain softens and the sound of stuff falling ceases you open your eyes and look around you. Your face twists in pain as you see pieces of the body of Arrax surrounding you. It only gets worse when you see a human body part. You look closer and notice the hand.

"He got me." You hear his Lucerys voice and you instantly know it was his hand.

You wake up in a sweat your hair sticking to your neck and your pillow drenched. You look up and see Aemond standing at the end of your bed his clothes drenched.

And in that moment you knew.

The war had started.

A/N: So this is clearly turning into a series. Which I'm actually not mad about. Not sure where this is going but naturally the chances of any of this being 100% original is not possible. There are far too many HOTD fanfics for any ending or storyline to be original. I can only hope that it is 100% enjoyable.

I will still obviously do my best to come up with a unique ending but I feel like to have a unique ending people need to die. I need to start killing off characters like Grey's Anatomy 🤣

Anywho I hope y'all enjoyed this part! If you wish to be added to this Taglist or any other one please let me know!

Gen Taglist: @thought--bubble, @valeskafics

#ewan mitchell verse #ewan nation #ewanverse #ewan mitchell fanfic #ewan mitchell #aemond targaryen x reader #prince aemond #aemond targaryen #hotd aemond #aemond x reader #aemond fanfiction #aemond one eye #prince aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen fic #aemond targaryen x you

369 notes · View notes

oneofnanamisgirls · 4 months ago

Text

Nanami Kento Pt. 4

—————————————

synopsis: you have to cancel your date with nanami because you are sick. he comes to take care of you.

—————————————

cw: embarrassment LOL

—————————————

A/N PLEASE READ: OKAY HI GUYS!! first off i wanted to say the last few weeks have been hectic! i was sick so that prompted me to write this, plus i had time to kill. i felt like this smau story was going a bit slow, so i decided to write a little (kinda? like 2k words) fic to go along with the text smau. i want to write more! so any suggestions/comments on this story would be APPRECIATED, so pls lmk! <33 ty if you read this<33

—————————————

Nanami opens the door, that you had managed to unlock before passing out. He drops the bags on the small table that sits inside the doorway. He reaches down for you, making sure you are still breathing. He lifts you to place you somewhere more comfortable than the hard wooden floor you lay on.

He notices the sweat beads on your forehead. The fever was worse than he expected. He searches the bathroom for a wash cloth. He runs the water cold, ringing out the cloth so it's not dripping. He carefully places the cloth on your forehead, covering your eyes with it.

He takes a look at you, making sure you are alright. He takes this time to clean up the used tissues that have missed the bin. He looks around your apartment for disinfectant to clean up for you.

He waits on the couch outside of your bedroom, keeping the door open to listen for you. He reaches for one of the books piled on your coffee table from the library. None of them were anything he would pick up, but he enjoys reading.

Many hours pass before you wake up, reaching at the cloth over your eyes. Your coughing notifies Nanami that you're awake. As he reaches the door frame, you can't help but notice the little room above his head and the frame.

"Nanami?" Your voice is hoarse and laced with confusion.

"Y/n, how are you feeling?" He asks, approaching the bed.

"How are you here?" You ask, trying to replay what happened earlier.

"I was already on my way over, the door was unlocked when I came to bring you medicine." He tells you, and you remember unlocking the door. You were dizzy and lightheaded earlier.

"I don't remember you coming in." You tell him.

"You were passed out on the floor." He tells you.

"I don't remember." You shake your head. Your throat is dry, you reach for the glass of water to take a sip. The glass is heavy and it drops to the floor.

The frustration of how sick you have been and the confusion causes you to feel overwhelmed. You flop down to the pillow and let a cry out.

"Hey hey, it's alright." Nanami ushers to the broken glass, debating which is more important right now. Thankfully the short drop only caused the glass to break in four pieces.

"I don't remember letting you in." You cry out. Nanami reaches to rub your back in comfort.

"You didn't Sweetheart, I came to bring you medicine and soup. I knocked, I called, I texted, I was worried so I tried the door. Do you remember unlocking it?" He asks you in a gentle voice. You nod. "That's how I came in. You were passed out on the floor, I brought you in here."

"I don't remember passing out Nanami." You sob into the pillow.

"You are sick, you haven't been taking care of yourself." He tells you, you feel ashamed.

"I couldn't. I feel so weak." You let out.

"It's okay, I'm here. Let it out." He pulls the hair off your neck and to the side.

You cry into the pillow, letting your shame and frustration out. He was right, you weren't taking care of yourself. You thought that it would pass on its own.

Your cries ease after a while, the frustration and shame was slowly seeping out of you. Between heavy breathing, you hear your stomach growl so loud you grow embarrassed.

"I'm sorry." You whisper.

"You must be hungry. Let me heat up the soup I brought." He tells you.

"Thank you Nanami." You look up at him with puffy eyes.

You watch as he picks up the broken glass and exits your bedroom. You notice the floor is free of tissues and there is a new box set on your nightstand.

Nanami returns with an electrolyte drink for you. You watch as he twists it open for you, he knew that you felt weak and knew you wouldn't be able to open it alone.

"Can you hold it up?" He asks as you take the drink. The bottle that would normally feel like nothing in your hands felt heavy. You shake your head and he helps you lift it to your lips.

You take a few sips before he sets the drink beside you on the table. You become aware of the sweat that has dried all over your body.

"I need a shower." You cough out.

"After you eat, okay?" Nanami looks at you, causing a nod.

He leaves the room to finish warming the soup. A bit later he returns with the bowl and spoon. He sets it down and comes back with the medicine.

He places the bowl on your lap and hands you the spoon. He wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable by feeding you.

The soup feels good against your throat that has been sore and irritated the last few days. You couldn't remember the last time you ate a meal. You've been getting by on just granola bars since you had no energy.

Nanami watches as the light is returning to your face. He doesn't show the smile he feels. He hands you the drink and you take a few sips, before returning to the soup.

"Thank you for all of this." You say to him as he grabs the empty bowl from your lap.

"It is no problem." He tells you before going to clean the bowl. He comes back and opens the box of medicine, taking out the two pills for you. He places them in your hand and you swallow them.

"You should feel a bit better soon. You wanted shower? Do you feel up to it now?" He asks you.

"I think so, thank you again." You push your legs to hang off the bed, sitting up.

Nanami takes notice how your feet don't touch the floor. He realizes he is hovering over you and steps back.

You push your hands into the mattress as you push yourself up. You're still a bit weak, Nanami catches you as you stumble.

"Sorry." You let out.

"I will wait outside the door in case." He assures you.

He helps you in the bathroom and even turns the water on for you. He shuts the door behind him.

The water feels good against your skin, it is warm and washing away all the sweat from the fever. The steam helps clear your sinuses.

You don't realize how long you have been in there until your fingers prune up. The steam seeps through the crack under the door. You step out, feeling yourself get dizzy again.

"Nanami." You call, hoping it was loud enough for him to hear.

He opens the door up, seeing you cover your body with the shower curtain, leaning against the wall.

"Light headed." You tell him.

"It's a sauna in here. Where is the towel?" He asks looking around. He stops to look at the pile of clothes on the floor and snaps his eyes back to you.

"Behind the door." You tell him, breathing heavily.

He shuts the door and pulls the towel off the hook. He closes his eyes for privacy as he wraps the towel around you. He guides you back to your room and sets you on the bed.

You notice the new set of sheets on the bed and new blanket. You look at the dirty ones in the hamper.

"You changed my sheets?" You ask, gripping the towel against your body.

"You needed clean ones after your shower." He tells you. "Can you get dressed okay?" He offers you a small cup of water.

You nod and he exits, shutting the door behind him. You slowly put pajamas on, being careful not to move too fast.

"I am all done." You call to him, sitting back on the bed. Your hair drips down your back, but flipping over to wrap the towel around your hair would make you dizzy again.

"Your hair is soaking against your back." He takes the towel and sits behind you. He lifts the towel to your hair, squeezing the water out.

"Nanami." You start, worrying about the proximity, he could get sick because of you.

"I don't care about getting sick. I've caught your colds all throughout high school." He reassures, still squeezing out your hair.

"You have to work tomorrow. I don't want you sick." You tell him.

"It's handled if I do get sick. Now let me keep taking care of you. Look at how much you already look better." He points to the mirror across your room.

You thought you look a mess. Wearing boxer shorts and a tee shirt that was extremely oversized. Your under eyes were insanely dark.

"I look sickly." You tell him.

"And now you are even joking around again." He stands up and reaches for the hairbrush.

"You're too kind." You tell him as he sits back behind you. He is careful when he starts brushing your hair.

"How is the medicine?" He asks.

"Good, I feel a lot better." You tell him. Your hair is brushed through, but he doesn't stop.

"Good, no more knots in your hair." You look at him in the mirror, he looks back at you.

"Thank you for taking care of me today." You tell him. You want to lean into him, but don't want to get germs all over him.

"I'd do it anytime, you just ask and I'll be here." He tells you, as if he is a mind reader, he pulls your back into him. He wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his lap all the way. You yawn as your head falls comfortably on his chest. "Tired still?"

"I think just exhausted from everything." You tell him.

"Your toes are cold, where are your socks?" He lifts you off of him, you hold back a sad sigh.

"The drawer on the right." You tell him. He pulls the drawer out and looks around. Since he is facing away from you, you don't see his blush spread across his cheeks. He felt weird looking in your underwear drawer. He clears his throat as he returns to you, kneeling and taking your ankle in his hands. He puts the thick socks over your cold feet before looking up at you. "Sorry." You mumble.

"What for?" Nanami questions.

"Don't make me say it." You shy away.

"I don't know why you are apologizing, I offered to get them for you." He sits down in front of you.

"I didn’t think about which drawer it was before I told you.” You say with embarrassment. Nanami wasn’t sure how to respond, his mind was preoccupied by the garments in the drawer, and not the socks.

“Let’s just forget about it, yeah?” He rests a hand on your knee, comforting the embarrassment.

You nod and he rubs a gentle circle against your knee. You feel relaxed and have more energy than you did this whole weekend. You suggest moving to the couch in the living room to watch a movie.

“I do apologize for not asking you earlier, but I picked up one of the books to pass the time earlier.” He tells you as you set the tissues on the coffee table. Your eyes dart to the book that was opened down the spine, pages lying flat against the table. “You like romance novels?”

“Oh god, this has got to be the most embarrassing day of my life. First you find me passed out on the floor, snot dripping down my face and sweating. Then I cry like a little kid, I nearly pass out again but this time naked, then you look in my underwear drawer, and now you just started reading my books.” You cover your face in more embarrassment. You couldn’t tell him that the book wasn’t just romance, it was basically word porn.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed about anything. I’ve seen plenty of that stuff in my life. I have also read plenty of books. Put your favorite movie on, I will order some food. You need to catch up on the last few days.” He sets aside your embarrassment.

You do as he instructed, putting on your favorite feel good movie while he orders takeout for the both of you.

The rest of the evening is relaxing, you were sad to see him leave but he did have work in the morning.

He makes you promise to keep taking care of yourself until you get better.

158 notes · View notes

dawntainbobbynash · 2 years ago

Text

Just Hold On To Me

Athena needs a moment to break at the end of the day they’ve had. Bobby makes sure she gets it.

Bathena ~ 1.2k ~ AO3

Bobby had insisted that she take some time to take care of herself when they got home, and Athena could hardly argue with him when his voice was still weak from the ordeal, so that was precisely what she did. She helped him settle on their bed and gathered up her pajamas, shutting herself in the bathroom and permitting herself a short shower, never more relieved than now to be able to sit on the bench that Michael had built in for the days when Bobby’s back was hurting. Bone-deep weariness made her ache as she scrubbed away the dirt and stench of the collapse, but she ignored it, determined only to get back to her husband before he could attempt something foolish.

Which, of course, he was. She emerged from the bathroom, tying her robe closed around her waist, to see that he had moved to sit on the edge of the bed, his sling off and lying beside him, rapidly letting go of the shirt he had clearly been struggling to take off one-handed. Athena shook her head, exasperated amusement chasing away a few clouds of the day. “You stubborn fool.”

He sighed. “I didn’t want you to have to fuss over me.”

“Well, get used to it,” she said, crossing the room to cup his face in both hands, “because I am going to be fussing over you for a while yet.”

Bobby frowned, but there was fondness in his eyes, and he didn’t protest when she took hold of his shirt and lifted it, carefully guiding his relatively uninjured arm out of it before pulling it off of his injured one. He grimaced through it, jaw tightly clenched against any pained noises, and she sat beside him, intending to soothe him, but when she looked for a safe place to put her hand, she froze instead.

Bruises mottled his entire torso. Front and back, hardly an inch of skin had been spared, the worst of it where the asphalt had crushed him. The mess extended to his arms and, she assumed, his legs, and she could see swelling now where the doctors had said some of his worst bone bruises were located. Combined with the lacerations that littered his face and neck…

Athena had seen worse. Hell, she had had to finish amputating a man’s arm before. At least Bobby was walking this time – painfully, slowly, and with help, but he was walking, he was awake, he was home. It was a far cry better than how he had fared after being shot, a far cry better than spending days in the hospital waiting for him to wake up. But after today, so soon after dredging up memories of Emmett to console Ella…

She stared at the mountain of wreckage, the ambulance perched perilously atop it, praying for an answer. “Captain?” she asked as the silence stretched on, her voice dangerously close to desperate.

Relief washed over her as Hen’s voice confirmed her friend was alive, but her words sent a chill of fear down Athena’s spine, stopping her in her tracks. “Captain Nash is unaccounted for.”

She found herself tracing a line of bruises on his side, trailing her finger across his skin with a feather-light touch.

“Here!” the victim called, his voice so choked by pain that she didn’t recognize it until his face came into view.

“Bobby?!” she gasped, fighting through the tight space to reach him, lying on the ground so similarly to how she had found Emmett, blood streaking down his face and his hand straining to reach her.

“Athena.”

Bobby’s soft voice pulled her back to the present. She jerked her hand away. “Sorry.”

“You didn’t hurt me,” he said, keeping his voice soft. “Are you ok?”

Athena cleared her throat, picking up his discarded shirt and tossing it into the laundry basket. “You’re not the one who should be asking that.”

“You’ve been asking me all day. It’s my turn.”

She searched the room for ideas of something, anything to do that would help her avoid this conversation. “I’m fine, Bobby.”

He didn’t respond, simply resting his hand on her thigh when she tried to stand, fixing her with his persistent let me help you stare that he knew damn well she couldn’t resist.

She pursed her lips. “You are a frustrating man, Bobby Nash.”

The corners of his lips twitched. “Don’t make me laugh.”

She chuckled for the both of them, and, taking his hand as she had in the container, she let her walls cave to him, her mirth fading in a heartbeat. “When you didn’t answer me… when Hen told me you were missing…” She lifted her free hand, stroking his temple where she had cleaned it of blood in the ambulance. “There was so much wreckage. I thought…”

He tilted his head into her touch, squeezing her hand. “So did I,” he admitted quietly. “Until you found me.”

Tears blurring her vision, Athena finally did what she had longed to do all day, what professionalism and an army of doctors and trying to hold herself together had prevented her from doing: She hugged him. She pressed her face into his shoulder, tucking their hands against his stomach, and wrapped her arm around him, holding on as tight as she dared. “I’m glad I did,” she whispered.

Bobby kissed the top of her head, resting his cheek in the same spot when he finished, leaning his weight against her, his voice hardly a breath. “Me too.”

Athena closed her eyes, savoring the moment. She just listened to him breathe, rubbing her thumb in circles around the back of his hand, relishing the ability to hold him close. His warmth was a comfort, his weight an anchor that she gladly carried. “I’m right here, baby,” he promised. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Sunlight spilled into the container as Buck and Ravi opened the doors, Hen running in the moment they and the kid had cleared the debris. Athena entrusted Bobby’s hand to her, murmuring to him that she wouldn’t be far before she went to stand with Eddie. Together, they watched Buck and Ravi pull him out and lift him onto a gurney, Hen glued to his side nearly the whole time. Athena joined them as they rolled him away, his protests that he was fine already floating through the air.

“I know,” Athena said, lifting her head, bringing his knuckles to her lips. “I know a lot of people who won’t let you.”

Bobby smiled, letting go of her hand to brush her tears away. She caught his chin, stroking it with her thumb before guiding him down to her, kissing him long and slow until he broke away to yawn. “Come on,” she said, smiling softly in return. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He nodded sleepily, letting her help him finish changing, put his sling back on, and lie down on her side of the bed. She tucked him in, fetched them both some water, and turned the lights off, then laid down on his side of the bed so she could snuggle up against his uninjured side. He was already nearly asleep, as he should be, but she asked anyway, “Do you need anything else?”

Bobby found her hand in the darkness. “Just hold on to me,” he murmured, “and never let go.”

Athena kissed his shoulder, lacing their fingers together. “Never.”

Holding on tight, they drifted off, safe and together beneath the covers.

#911fic #athena grant #bobby nash #bathena #athena grant fanfic #bobby nash fanfic #bathena fanfic #911 #mine.#text #fic #athena #bobby

46 notes · View notes

tetsunabouquet · 8 months ago

Text

Heir To The Lands Chapter 29

Masterpost Everyone Wants An Answer

The night had been terrible. Ty had cried himself to sleep in Kit's comforting embrace and the blonde hadn't slept at all out of the fear Ty would wake up in the middle of the night for a toilet break and cry some more in the bathroom. Taking care of Ty was his number one priority at the moment. Livvy's spirit and his foster parents were wisely leaving Ty to Kit, recognizing a small group of people fussing over him would stress him out more then just letting Kit handle it. Kit stared at him as he slept, and only left the bed to close his curtains when the sun began to shine. Ty slept and slept until his phone started buzzing. He stirred in his sleep and Kit couldn't help but glance at the object and wondering if Ty would be okay with him answering a probably concerned Jules. But thank the Angel, he didn't have to. Because his own phone also started buzzing and he saw both of them were texted by Dru. He quickly placed Ty's phone on the nightstand to read the text she had send him, 'It's a bit of a story, but I made it back safely from Faerie. I did require the help of Ragnor and he reminded me of being on the verge of a panic attack. What did Gwyneth and Jaime say? Because I think the Shadow World is already feeling whatever threat the Seelie Queen is planning.' Kit was euphoric yet anxious at once at Dru's message and he slowly shook Ty awake. The boy's pale eyelids fluttered until his gaze landed on Kit. After a moment of hesitation, Kit spoke, "Ty, I know your mind is too overcome right now, but you need to know Dru made it back! Somehow, she came across Ragnor and that's honestly all she texted me. But I wanted you to know she is safe." Ty's hands started fluttering as his mind was visibly racing, and Kit tried stroking his hair out of the Blackthorn boy's face, wondering what he should do to help Ty process. "Is it okay if I get you some tea?" He asked hesitantly and after a minute of silence Ty started nodding which Kit took as a yes.

Alec had called his friends to his and Magnus' apartment. Magnus had been overtly dotting by spoiling their children rotten with toys so they would be distracted for a couple of hours because they refused to go to bed once they realized that their uncles and aunties were coming over. Toys R Us is shutting down anyways, he said. Alec did not know enough about bankruptcy or mundane parenting to fully understand the picture of mundane kids and their apparant new religion of tablets, but he did not have the energy to care. Because all his mind was consumned with, where thoughts on the raid. For someone had broken into his office and stolen all kinds of files, including his correspondence with Manuel. He was sick with worry and Magnus' earlier phone call with Ragnor was enough to have his husband grow pale and quiet. For Magnus to look that distraught, it would need to take a whole lot. Alec's heart was resting in his shoes as he raced to the door as he heard the familiar doorbell and the loud yapping between Jace and Simon.

Dru had sent the text, Thais was gone from their room. She was willing to bet she was assigned to the student patrol- this was a program Luke thought up to help the New York Enclave by easing up their burdens whilst simultaneously having the opportunity to train students in actual combat. The New York neon lights ruled the dark skies as all of her thoughts floated through her head, finally getting to process everything that happened. Jaime's terrible state, meeting Ash Morgenstern again and Ragnor's worrying booth. It all sank down her mind like an anchor dropped in the vast ocean. She laid down on her bed, groaning at the long day she had. "Kit, what on earth has the Seelie Queen got planned for you?" She asked the ceiling just as the door to her room opened. Dru shot up as not one, but several people entered her room. She was just about to reach for her stele as the light switch flicked on. Thais, Laura, Tomas, Zeynep and Tavi were all standing in the room. Thais looked worried but annoyed with Tomas behind her exuding his usual calm and collected aura, Laura looked confused, Zeynep looked tired and Tavi was looking at her with one brow raised before scanning the room with disinterest. "Welcome Dru. Can you explain to me the meaning behind my brother's text?" Tomas asked as he held up his phone expectantly and Dru knew her long day wasn't over yet.

#twp #the wicked powers #tsc #the shadowhunter chronicles #shadowhunters #shadowhunter chronicles #alec lightwood #kit herondale #kit herongraystairs #dru blackthorn #ty blackthorn #kit x ty #thais pedroso #magnus bane

4 notes · View notes

the-storyteller-and-her-soldiers · 1 year ago

Text

I know I don't mention it a lot but I do heavily think of Ignis like my dad?? With my FFXV insert when he first met her as a ghost-writer, he pulled some strings at the castle to become Noct's secondary tutor since he saw my S/I had a good head and heart but was taking on an adult role while still a child. It reminded him of himself...

Meanwhile, with my royal AU, he just was like "I already look after one royal, two shouldn't be that much harder when they hang out." Though Noctis did get a little jealous when Ignis would begin praising me for eating veggies so well. Noct gets us back by very begrudgingly eating some broccoli (The one veggie I will die before eating ><)

But as we grew closer I'd go to him for things I needed help with but was too embarrassed to ask Gladio for. CP's acting up and can't tie my shoe too well? Iggy's got it and some new non-tying laces! Your girl wants to make lunch but was never allowed to? Iggy was going to make some for the guys and would enjoy an enthusiastic helper, plus he has some tips on how to make things easier for me. Basically in a way, I become the Prince of Lucis's Assistant of his Advisor.

But then one night, while traveling with the guys, long after we call it a night, I awaken from a nightmare. But since I have years of practice, my sobs are silent and I can easily sneak out of the tent. Ignis wakes up soon after since he can just sense something's amiss. When he sees the prince sleeping, the shield snoring, and the quicksilver peacefully tossing that means that the newest addition is nowhere seen.

He's more alarmed than anything until he sees a faint light just outside. He joins me, and I try to hide the fact I was bawling my eyes out. There's no use though and when he says that I can just let it out and he'll stay right here to keep me safe until I go back to the tent, I bawl harder.

In all my life (No matter the universe) I never had an older figure who had given me that. My own father left when I was little and when he came back he saw me as his soldier rather than his 4-year-old daughter... And let's just say that relationship only grew more strained and frayed until I finally cut it at 18. And despite what everyone from my mom to my friends to my aunt who lives with my dad now says, I still have moments where I wonder if I just wasn't a good daughter and that's why he'd let me down amongst the other horrible abuse he scarred into me. (Not going into it here, but you can see glimpses of it in my writing)

Ignis not only stays, but he listens. At the end of it all, he understands where I come from but can't understand what father would do such things to such a sweet young girl. He doesn't say that though, the words catch in his throat. I simply laugh at my own silliness for crying over old scars that I say have healed and rub my eyes. I tell Ignis as I shakily stand up that I'll make sure to knock it into Noct to count the lucky stars that he has Ignis. Without him, who'd know where the prince would be. Who knows where I would be... Ignis simply thanks me, rubbing my back as he guides me back to the tent and I snuggle up with my big teddy of a boyfriend.

Nothing much changes after that, outwardly anyway. But Ignis does start checking in more. Did you eat? Meds?? How's uni going?? How are your friends??? Everyone thinks it's normal since I was always checking in on him since I could see he was just as self-sacrificing as I was. But then, I mistakenly call him 'Dad' in front of the guys and my friends.

IT'S OVER, I CRAVE DEATH! I WANT TO HOP IN A HOLE! Noct is just confused, Prompto thinks it's so sweet, and Gladio can't stifle a chuckle... I look shyly at Ignis as I go to apologize but he looks flattered?? (This takes place mid-FFXV so he's 22 and I'm 19) I stutter out an apology citing it as a genuine slip of the tongue. He just ruffles my hair and tells me I should take after Noctis and get a bit more sleep then rather than staying up with my podcasts.

I don't see Iggy as the type to be like "SIGN THE ADOPTION PAPERS IT'S PART OF THE RECIPE!" But he would step into the role more because I think he would wanna settle down but due to his position gave up the whole children bit since the royal family IS his family in a sense. But there's nothing wrong with guiding one of the prince's friends. (especially when I'm a royal so you know political benefits to Lucis and all~!)

So like I never openly start calling him 'Dad' or anything. But a lot of people have caught on. For if I'm going out with my other friends and don't have physical cash but offer to send him some, he'll just give me a 50 and tell me to treat next time the 5 of us go out to eat (He won't let me pay for more than my own if that!) And he'll always be open to talking while he does his work or while he has an ebony break! He'll share in my excitement as I talk about school, what I'm into, or my own personal adventures, and he does get protective of me as he does Noctis. Though he shows that differently, such as comforting me from my nightmares and whenever I do have to meet my dad.

I also may have asked if one day, if I ever get married, if I could have him walk me down the aisle and give me away to whatever lucky person. He quietly but happily said 'of course'!

Also, he has no problem being in 'dad-mode' to my older f/os (Miguel, Thancred, Jack, Raiden, Yagami, Kaito) a lot of them don't even catch on that he's younger than them until later! Gladio's the only exception since they go way back!

Also when I'm like "IGGY MEET MY NEW SIBLINGS/KIDS" He doesn't bat an eye but does sit us down to ask if we've eaten. All in all, best dad figure!

Now I just need a tag for Iggy!

Taglist: @disneymarina @floweringforgetfulness @goldenworldsabound @singingdeepinme @nyandereneko @hadesgoddess @canongf @wanderers-wife @maskedanarchy-ships

#selfshipdom #selfship community #self shipping #self insert #selfship #self indulgent stuff #self insert community

7 notes · View notes

containatrocity · 2 years ago

Text

Polar Plunge || Death Reaction

Hey, I think I left some of my equipment at your place when I was setting up your computers, it's a box of tiny screwdrivers and a spool of wire, it'd probably be in your room.

Gia?

Hey, Gia, I'm gonna be out and about today doing final setup on the computers, so I'll just swing by and get my stuff. the flower festival kinda cut into it but I'm just about done.... Man, you're quiet tonight.

It's strangely early when Cyan wakes up- checking the messages on his computer- and finding them unanswered. He figured at least last night that she'd been exhausted- it was a busy day at the festival- she was supposed to go to Sissy's too, right? In any case- she'd have gone home before work. Before now. He sighs, dressing for the day and piling out of the van, carefully tying back long dark hair into a bun and striking the typical hair-pins through it as he walks.

it's not far to Gia's place. He'll get there in enough time, maybe, to catch coffee or proper breakfast with his friend- but as he crests the hill, skipping cragged sidewalk he'd tripped on before- a spill he was sure Gia would never let him hear the end of a few months earlier- there's far too many people outside.

This alone would have usually made him turn around- he's not good with crowds, but- it's a random sunday, why would there be so many people at the Rodriguez place. His gaze falls on Russell Craven, the man stood on the porch and helping direct people in and out, he looks like he's been crying-

"What's up, Mr. C?" He questions quietly as he approaches- Rusty jolting slightly, making Cyan laugh softly. "Easy, man, wh- what's going on? you all look like somebody died."

Rusty resists the urge to deck the kid in the face. God, he's been awake since the call, since every desperate attempt to raise the sheriff's office. Call Reggie, Call the Sheriff, call the mayor, call somebody, damn it, anybody, and then pray to a God who's abandoned all of you that you'll show up at the home of people you broke bread with to find this was a horrible nightmare.

Bloodied husks instead. The little girl he'd watched Sissy spend inseparable years alongside left lifeless. God, she was too young. He was too young.

We need you to come home. You're her only family, otherwise she'll be put into foster care.

I'm your Uncle Rusty. you might not remember me... yeah, I'm not that old... It's okay, I know a thing or two.

GIA. SISSY, PERCY, MATEO! DINNER'S ON, COME ON 'FORE IT GETS COLD OR LEE GETS THE BRIGHT IDEA T' MAKE SECONDS AND THIRDS OUTTA YOUR SHARE!

She's absolutely welcome t' stay the night, Sissy, just let me know what's happenin', alright?

....What do you mean, she said the door's open?

Easy, man, wh- what's going on? you all look like somebody died.

"Mr. Craven?"

"Cyan." He sighs, the young man pausing and swallowing tightly. His silence, his expression seems to hit him all at once. "Kid, it's-"

"no. no no no no- she's- she's fine, this is a shitty joke, to play on people-" Cyan squeaks- boot-clad feet stumbling back as his fist thumps rhythmically at his chest, slow, at first, then frantic, fast- panicked. He's still speaking, but the words don't make sense to Rusty, too fast, gibberish- no, it's Japanese.

"Hey- hey! I don't have it in me to deal with you melting down, dammit- if you're gonna freak the fuck out, go somewhere else." Rusty snaps, shaking Cyan by the shoulders- the kid freezes, looks dazed, pupils pinholes in brown eyes. "Kid?"

"Yeah. I'm.... good." he inhales, breathing rough as he watches a passerby- holding a familiar braided length of leather attached to a flash drive- his repair kit, and a spool of wire. "that's mine." He murmurs, yanking away from Rusty violently- and before Rusty can do anything about the way he's responding, Cyan's jerked away from him- started an argument with the cleaner about getting his things back. He turns around for a moment, to continue talking with the mayor, about helping with the funeral, about doing anything he can, to make sure this never happens again- whatever she needs.

And then there's the sound of a scuffle, arguing and shouting, and a bark of "gun!" that makes him whirl on his heel. Cyan's got a gun- he'd never once checked a gun with the rangers to keep track of- Percy had never made mention of it. The kid has a gun. and he's finally seen fit to pull it.

"Please I just- can I have my stuff? It's my stuff my name's on it I just want my stuff can you give it back?" Maybe he let this one get away from him, because he knows his gun's not loaded. And he knows that this isn't exactly winning him good will in town. But his ears are ringing, white noise in the back of his head and cold in his spine. His friend is in a bodybag. this asshole won't even let him have the stuff with his name on it back. "I just left it here the other night and I want it back okay?"

"Fuckssake- give the kid his shit back, Thomson! It's not worth getting shot!" It's Duck approaching, setting a hand on the back of Cyan's neck. "I know, kid, it's hard, the feelin's are too big to handle. But this ain't gonna do you no good." His voice is a whisper in his ear, and Cyan swallows tightly. "Deep breath. It's okay. It'll be okay. Give me the gun." He murmurs, and as Cy wades through the chaos in his head to make the right choice- Duck drops the clip out of the gun. "Unloaded." He informs, squeezing Cyan's neck softly. "Give him his stuff, Thomson."

"It's not-"

"When's the last time you've seen shit labeled with Kanji for computers that belonged to somebody who wasn't this kid? Give him, his shit." Duck isn't asking, now, and as Cyan is handed his belongings- he chokes out a "the drive too?"

"What?"

"The drive... I want that back too."

"Yeah. alright. give him the flashdrive."

"it's got Gia's name-"

"and I told you to fucking give it to him!? You got shit in your ears? What use do you or anybody else in this shithole town have for a fucking flashdrive? Give it to him!"

it's cold in Cyan's palm, and Duck continues.

"Now go home, Silas."

"wh-"

"I said make tracks, what's so hard about that? You ain't any help here, she ain't gettin' less dead when you scream up an' down at folk just doing their job. Go home."

"I just-"

"Leave. I won't tell you again, and I won't vouch for you if you don't beat it. Stick around an' I'll let the Sheriff and Reggie throw the book at ya for this little stunt."

Cyan figures that's as good a reason as any- so with too many pairs of eyes on him- he starts for home. Eventually he started running, lungs burning as he slams the door of the van behind him, pulling his knees into his chest and letting out a wild scream. It hurts, his lungs tired, his throat raw.

[User: AMAK1TSUN3] Please tell me it's a joke. [User: AMAK1TSUN3] Please tell me it's just a really fucked up joke. [User: AMAK1TSUN3] Gia there's so many people more important than me who are gonna take this way worse and I'm really screwed up so I can't imagine how they feel [User: AMAK1TSUN3] not you, okay? [User: AMAK1TSUN3] It should have been anybody but you, you never even got to leave. [User: AMAK1TSUN3] It's not fair.

He watches the sidebar of CarrierCrow quietly, conversations they'd had while testing the system still displayed.

Then the cleaning crew unplugs her computer.

INTERNAL SERVER ERROR, USER NOT FOUND. PLEASE RESET COMPUTER-147B. ARCHIVED MESSAGES WILL BE DELETED IN 30 DAYS, TO CLEAR SERVER SPACE.

Cyan stares into his laptop silently for a moment- before he pulls its network plug, pulling his knees back to his chest, frantic messages meeting a dead end, a last plea for a miracle.

He wears a flash drive around his neck now, alongside the hanging pendant of a skull riddled with teeth marks. It's a microcosm of a friend- all the things he'd made sure to recognize she liked- books, movies, tv shows and games contained within. They're useless, without somebody to enjoy them- it had been a gift- a birthday present. the last one she'd see. their conversations sleep on it now- the last words of a friendship he hadn't had a chance to lean into.

Haunted by digital ghosts his whole life, Cyan begs this one to stick around.

He wonders if the hurt ever goes away, when it's somebody who matters. And beyond that- he wonders if anybody in this shithole has clean needles and a hit.

#c.musings #r.musings #tw drug mention #tw gun mention #tw death mention #i think i got it

4 notes · View notes

rainywolfgoatee · 2 years ago

Text

Stay with me.

"Jj!" You scream from the top of your lungs. He had just drove off the bridge that was above you. He was drunk and upset that his father had hit him so he started speeding.

You couldn't see him anywhere. Everyone that was in toppers car was looking for him. You were crying and it was hard to breath. You couldn't think it was hard to be without jj and you couldn't think of him dying.

You had finally come across his body. You start screaming. He had been unconscious behind the bushes. You fall down next to him grabbing his upper body and putting him in your lap. "He's bleeding!" You scream out crying. Unable to control yourself. "Someone call for help!... Jj please, open your eyes!" Your eyes are red from all the crying.

"Open your fucking eyes Jj!" This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening. The day you thought would never come. "No, no, no, no, no." You say quietly as tears fall down your face.

"Y/n calm down, he's going to be ok!" He tries to hide his tears.

"Check his pulse!" Kie says to Pope. Pope comes rushing over. He puts fingers on his neck. "Is he breathing?... Is he fucking breathing pope?" You yell at him. Your shaking. "Pope!" Topper screams. "No-no he's not. He's not breathing." He falls back.

"Wake the fuck up Jj, wake up!" You start doing CPR on him. Everyone stops and watches you. "H-help me!" You scream at everyone as you continue.

------------------------------------------------------------

Flashback

"I'm going to take you on date. A really nice one." Jj kisses you on the cheek. "Oh really? How are you gonna do that we have no money." You grab his hand giggling. "I promise I'll get you that date" He smiles.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on baby!" Your heavy breathing. What about our date? What about what you said. What about our date that you promised me. You have to keep that promise. Please.

You put pressure on the wound by ripping his shirt and tying it around him. "Where is the fucking ambulance." You hear the sirens.

"Y/n..." John b says quietly. "Y/n" Kie says second after him. "He's dead!" John b yells. "No, no he's not!" The ambulance pulls up right next to you. "Over here!" Topper yells. They rush over.

"Ma'am you have to move." The paramedics grab him. "Y/n let them take him!" Pope and John b pull you off. "Get off of me!" You heavy breath wiping away some of the tears. Getting blood all over your face. Your hands hands are shaking.

"Y/n" John b puts his arms around you hugging you tightly. You can't speak. "Do you remember when he said he would take me on a nice date?" You smile with more tears coming out of your eyes. He says yes. "That's never going to happen is it? Is It?" You bury your face in his chest. "I don't know." He watches as the paramedics take him away.

"He's going to make it." Kie says. You turn around watching them leave.

------------------------------------------------------------

At the hospital.

It's been an hour since it happened. You don't know where he is, none of you do. "Can you tell us what happened?" The police say. You don't pay attention to any of it. All you think right now is where is my boyfriend. Jj, jj, jj, jj. "Can you hear me?" He taps you on your leg. "What?" You flinch a little. "What happened?" He has a note pad in his hand.

You rub your eyes with one hand. You bonce your leg up and down. "He uhm..." You look around at your friend's, their all asleep. "He fell off the bridge on his bike. He-" you pause. "The medal of the bike punctured him. He wasn't breathing when we got to him." You stop speaking. You look up at him with a blank expression on your face.

"What about before that?" He continues to write down what you said before. "He, his dad had hit him. So he left the house on his dirt bike. He was pissed so he went to get some beer at his friends house and he left there drunk. And... He started speeding when he got on his dirt bike." You get cut off by the doctor who walks in the lobby.

"He's awake." She looks at everyone. You stand up."What room?" She tells you the room number and you immediately run to his room. He's sitting on the bed with a cast on his arm. You run in hugging him. "What's wrong with you." You start crying. "Don't cry." He rubs your lower back.

Kie and the rest of them walk in. "We thought you were dead!" Kie exclaims. "You scared the shit out of us man!" John b puts his head in his face. "Don't ever do that shit again you hear me?" You say kissing his softly. "Are you okay?" Jj looks down at my clothes. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Stop worrying about me."

"How can I not worry about you." He smiles softly. "I love you so fucking much J." I kiss him again. "I love you too." He says into the kiss.

#Spotify

6 notes · View notes

major-knighton · 10 days ago

Text

HALLOW-LEE-N movie review Oct 30th : To the Devil, a Daughter (1976)

I'm still here, I'm not dead! An easily distracted mind and the puzzling nature of streaming services were working against me, but I finally have my penultimate entry. This movie was following on the footsteps of Rosemary's Baby and The Exorcist, but I think without quite living up to them.

We start with two different points of view in this film : one is Catherine, a young nun going out of the convent she was raised in to visit her father for a few days, and Father Michael (Lee) who works at Catherine's convent.

Catherine's father calls his friend, writer/journalist John, in a panic, says he's leaving the hospital he works at for a week and can't greet Catherine, and would John horribly mind looking after her? There's a great story in it bc it involves Satanists.

John bites, and goes to find Catherine at the airport and steal her right from under the nose of the people escorting her. He brings her to her home, explains her father can't be here and asks a few questions, nothing too weird going on.

Father Michael and the couple who helped raise Catherine are at the hospital Catherine's dad just fled, and they're assisting in a birth. This requires tying the expecting mother to the bed and burning incense, so we know something is going on here.

While the birth is going on, Catherine has a horrible dream full of pain, and wakes the next morning sort of hypnotized. Meanwhile, the baby is born and the mother is very, very dead.

Catherine, in a transe, kills the woman watching her during John's absence and leaves. John and the woman's husband, David, piece together what is happening from various books and the pendant depicting Astaroth that Catherine was wearing.

Turns out Catherine's convent are working towards bringing the demon to Earth, so one woman was impregnated (by Father Michael, in a fairly graphic scene). That baby has to be baptized in his mother's blood, then another person has to be baptized in the baby's blood.

They track down Catherine's father, who okayed all of this when she was conceived through a pact with the demon, but is now trying to get out. He says he'll tell them everything if they bring him his pact to be destroyed, so they take a trip to the church. David gets burned alive, but John eventually makes it back to the crying and snivelling dad and gives him his pact.

Having received the address of the temple, John goes out and bashes a guy's head with a rock, before arriving in front of the altar Catherine is laying on. The baby has already been slain, but the ritual is not complete. Father Michael gloats that the hill is full of rock sacred to Astaroth and he's therefore protected.

John replies that he just used such a rock to kill a guy, so now Astaroth is on John's side because the cultists made him angry due to the baby killing??? This bonkers reasoning is apparently the correct one because John throws his rock, and lightly grazes Michael's forehead which kills him instantly. John picks up Catherine and the scene goes all technicolor, a strong wind picks up and he struggles to make it out of the salt circle. Then the wind dies, the colors lose their stroke-inducing hue, and everything is good.

During all this Catherine does not say a word.

Suffice to say, I found this one hella weird and not in a good way. Practically none of the characters are interesting, the plot is super contrived. Devil stuff in horror is usually not my jam, but I think I'm being fair. A lot of the gorey bits also kinda fell flat. I will say, the sex scenes were probably meant to be disturbing and they certainly achieve it.

Overall not a great film, but I know the next and final one will more than make up for it. 3/10.

#Hallow-lee-n movie review #christopher lee #to the devil a daughter

1 note · View note

edgessunflower · 11 months ago

Text

Natural disaster prompts

Divider credits to @saradika-graphics

Actions

Holding onto a tree together before one is swept away by a tsunami

Tying each other to a telephone pole during a tornado after realizing there was no time to get inside

Jumping in the flooding water during a hurricane to get the other back to safety after they fall in

Pushing the other under a table during an earthquake to protect them and getting injured but pretending to be okay until the quake is over

Hiding in the corner of a room during an avalanche being separated by piled up furniture

Being molded together in between two busted out windows during a typhoon

Holding onto each other while crawling on the floor to get out of a house during a fire

Pushing the other into the basement before closing and locking the door during a tornado

Driving to the hospital after finding out one went through a natural disaster while out of town

Crying when you finally reunite with each other because you can't believe they're alive

Saying sorry over and over for the argument that happened the last time you talked to and saw each other

Following a person to help someone who turns out to be the other

Looking for one in a camp and as you go to lift a sheet they call out your name staring quietly before running and hugging each other

A person coming up to you with a picture of the other being reunited in the hospital

Dialogue

"I'm sorry I'm so sorry I will never yell at you ever again"

"God give me a sign please let me know if he/she's alive"

"I don't know where else to look I've searched everywhere" "Wait I know where she/he's at just follow me"

"Please don't let this be a dream"

"Never leave me again" "I won't I promise I won't"

"I love you" "Not the words I was going to say first but god I need to hear that"

"Oh my god thank god you're alive"

"I thought I lost you forever"

"Please, just hold me" "I am never letting you go"

"Life wouldn't be the same without you in it"

"I would never be okay again if you were gone"

"You never lost me, I was always with you"

"I promise you're not gonna lose me not now not ever"

"Please don't leave me" "It's okay I'm here, I'll always be here"

"Never do that again!"

“I told you I’d find my way back to you” / “I promised you I would come back”

"You're back and that is all that matters"

"I promise to never let you out of my sight from this point on"

"No matter what, I'm always coming back to you"

"I never gave up on you. I knew you would come back to me"

"Every moment without you I was afraid"

"I thought you died" "And leave you? Never"

"You scared the shit out of me earlier"

"I thought I would never see you again"

"Why did this have to happen..."

"I can't live without you" "You ain't getting rid of me that easily"

"When I saw you I thought..."

“I’m afraid I’ll wake up and realize this was just a dream”

"Am I dead?" "If you were then we'd both be

"I would have never given up until I found you"

“Someone pinch me, I think I’m dreaming”

#writing prompts #writing prompt #writing #natural disaster prompts

1 note · View note

andraxicated · 3 years ago

Text

fuck and run!

Pairings: Iwaizumi, Kenma, Suna, Kuroo, Akaashi x f!reader

Synopsis: Haikyuu men who sets you aside after railing you

Tags: suggestive | mildly explicit | established relationship | fluff | smut

Iwaizumi

will do his sports science things after railing you so hard that you have to call in sick the next day. you whine and blame him that it’s all his fault that your pussy down there hurts. yet, he knows all of your antics and pays your whining no mind as he types away on his laptop.

“you’re really mean Hajime Iwaizumi! how could you focus on your work while a naked woman is on your bed!” you huff and puff as you pick up and wear a discarded robe on the ottoman chair.

“distract me and I’ll make you cry again.” he cooly threatens that you stop tying the ribbon of your robe with wide eyes. heat rushes down your body as you clench your thighs together, nipples perking beneath the thin robe exactly as his eyes travel on your body.

it’s so easy to fluster you yet it’s him that’s even more flustered.

"I would like that." the brat in you replies with an amazing brazenness that you haven't processed what you said too. your cheeks feel warm when embarrassment seeps into the silent room. gosh, you really hate it when this man makes you feel so awkward.

iwaizumi's member throbbed when he heard your snarky attitude, the same tone you use in challenging him. his lips twitch a little when he sees you getting uncomfortable with the silence. should he let you suffer more? but he really loves you too much.

he sighs and signals for you to sit on his lap. "you better be quiet while I work."

Kenma

a hand clamped tightly on your mouth, your ass against his cock; kenma releases his load into you as tears prick your eyes from the feeling of being filled along with the pressure pressing down on your mouth.

he’s on mic with his friends in-game while he challenges you to stay quiet as you two get nasty behind the screen. kenma finally releases his grip on your mouth and you loudly suck in your breath making him pinch your ass from the annoyance of your loud breathing.

“get off and pick up your shorts,” he instructs and waits for your wobbly legs to stand and bend over to the floor.

as you pick up both of your thrown bottoms, a startled shriek rips through the air. his light kisses on your back tickles that you can't help your mouth. “kenma!” you quickly shut your mouth with wide eyes, head whipping to your boyfriend’s direction. but to your surprise, his cat-like eyes just softly smile at the cute expression you made.

“come here.” kenma grabs both sides of your waist, then he settles you down on his naked lap. your warm, uncovered lower halves touch against each other; the feeling makes him suck in his breath and throw his head back against his gaming chair.

“I’m sorry if I’m too mean. It was actually muted the whole time.” he presses apologetic kisses along your shoulder as a furrow on your brows slowly forms upon learning his trickery.

“and…can you please move your body a bit? I can’t move my hands easily…” kenma’s request trails off as he sees your blank face and burning eyes. oh no.

Suna

he has no self-control when it comes to you. how could he when his cute girlfriend is walking towards him with sleepy eyes, his oversized shirt draped over your frame, plus with no panties! suna is all ready to go to his practice but the sight of you had him stopping in his tracks. a sigh goes out of his mouth as he puts down his sports bag and strides over to you.

“do your thighs hurt? shouldn’t you be resting?” he asks with a concerned tone as he remembers the night before when he manhandled you for hours. he suddenly carries you to the couch, much to your surprise that it wakes you up.

“were you going to practice? I heard you shuffling early in the morning…” you say to him as your boyfriend presses a kiss on your head. to be honest, it made you sad the moment you woke up and realized he left you after that night. you thought he would at least stay as the apology for holding your thighs up harshly.

“I’m sorry, but I’ll come back later with your favorite food.” suna pecks your cheek with a kiss while the corners of your mouth lift. “that’s a promise?” “it’s a promise.”

he goes back to pick up his bag that’s been left at the door and waves at you. “I need to go now, I’ll stay with you tonight until the next day.” you wave back at him and nod as his figure retreats and closes the door.

should you go to his practice? or relieve yourself on your own? “but suna will get angry” you whisper to yourself with a pout as you plop down on the soft couch.

Kuroo

when you asked your boyfriend for help, this was not what you expected. you expected the both of you to sit side by side with notebooks and pens. you crying out of frustration because your dumb head can’t get the problem and him laughing about how you’re not even listening.

you cry out because of how much the stretch of him hurts and kuroo’s laughing at your whining when you took him a lot of times already. “shhh, it’s okay baby, relax and let me in.” his voice gives butterflies to your stomach and so, you lay back, close your eyes and let him do the work.

“now, do it yourself. just solve it based on what you know and I’ll correct it later,” kuroo instructs while handing the notebook full of gibberish numbers to you. your disheveled hair and unbuttoned blouse don’t go unnoticed by your boyfriend as he steals a few glances here and there.

“you know I just orgasmed like minutes ago?” you sassily throw back at him, not bothering to look at your notebook. how could he act as if nothing happened before? kuroo nods as if he understands and says: “study hard and finish your degree, then I’ll wife you up.”

at that, you pick up the pen and grab the notebook closer to you. it doesn't seem so bad coming from his mouth!

Akaashi

boyfriend akaashi who fiercely takes off his glasses with one hand and grips your chin, directing your lips to his mouth for a heated kiss. your muffled moans start when his slender hands rummage under your skirt, pushing aside your panty and entering a finger to test the wetness.

“hold on tight to me, let’s go to the bed.” he huskily whispers as you moan in response when your lips once again crash into each other.

the sound of two people catching their breathing is heard throughout the room. “keiji, where are you going?” your small voice asks when you see him standing up and putting on his pants.

akaashi turns to look at you with a smile, ruffling your bed hair before putting on his glasses. “just sleep, I’ll go next room to do my work.”

you grab onto his wrist before he could take a step further away from you. your boyfriend turns back in sweet surprise at the loving gaze in your eyes. “what is it?” he asks and you reply: “hold my hand while you work.” you sulkily say, stretching your hand over to him with half-closed eyes.

akaashi chuckles and moves away to bring the table closer to the bed. “now go to sleep. I’ll work with one hand, princess.” he tangles his fingers with yours, caressing the soft skin of your palm as you slowly drift off to sleep.

9K notes · View notes

harryforvogue · 3 years ago

Text

But I’m In A New Hell* (Harry and Lucía’s Christmas Blurb)

Alright here we go, fic number...4? Yes, 4!!! 6 more to go. TW: mention of the passing of a parent, depression, just all around super depressing shit. This fic has smut, as you can tell by the asterisk.

8.3k words. Happy Reading! This entire fic is written in Lucía’s POV :-)

as always, here is my ko-fi link

***

Four Years Ago

I can’t tell if I’m awake or just dreaming. I’ve gone through this process three times already this morning, thinking I’ve gotten up and showered, combed my hair and ate breakfast only to wake up once more and find myself still in bed, buried under all the blankets Harry’s laid out for me. He’s dug them out from the closet because I get colder than him. When I glance over where he’s supposed to be on my right side, he’s absent, his duvet thinner and his singular pillow alone. I run my hand over his impression on the other side. It’s still warm.

I sit up and look around. The curtains are still covering the sun but the reflection off the snow makes me squint anyways.

“Harry?” I call quietly. Silence.

Our bags are in the corner of the room, packed.

“Harry?” I try again.

He finally comes in moments later, holding a steaming cup of coffee in his hand and a plate with a bagel in the other. His smile is more blinding than the sun, his dimples as deep as they go though I can’t figure out what about this situation is worthy of that smile. His eyes give him away, the dark circles battling with how dark mine currently are. I haven’t looked at myself in the mirror in a long time, perhaps 4 or 5 days, but I know exactly how dreadful I must look. He smiles at me anyways as he sits besides me, setting the cup in one of my hands, the plate with the bagel in the other.

“Hi,” he says softly, tucking my hair back. After a second thought, he goes to tie it up instead. I look down at the food he’s given me. “How are you feeling?”

Harry’s smile slips when I glance back up at him. I watch him swallow instead and after he finishes tying my hair, he cups my face as if checking my temperature. His fingers slide down my throat and my eyes well up with tears though nothing sad has happened within these 10 seconds.

“What do you need?” he whispers, leaning closer.

His large palm passes over each of my eyes and then I’m suddenly crying into my coffee, my tears creating ripples. The coffee he’s made just for me despite my constantly changing demand in how I take it. He’s probably got the order right. Drizzle, coffee, milk, creamer, drizzle. Nothing before or after that order. He always gets it right.

Harry takes the cup away from me. The bagel is next to go, and then his arms thrust me to his sturdy chest where I cry. And I cry. And I cry.

***

I run out of tissues the day after. Harry stops by the store to get me some more, along with some melatonin and bath salts. I want to tell him that I won’t need them. Today, I’m breaking up with him.

The thought of saying those words to Harry, those God forsaken words that I never thought I’d be saying, makes my arms hurt. It’s a stabbing pain that starts from the middle of my ribs, travels at light speed to my heart, and then falls down to my wrists. I can’t use my fingers anymore. I don’t know what they call this. I don’t know what the doctor would tell me if I went like Harry’s been telling me.

It’s been only a week. Harry helped me look for our tickets to Ecuador last night and that’s when I realized that I won't be able to be with him for much longer. I could feel it creeping up on me in the last few weeks, this imminent breakdown, because my father had been sick. My mother keeps her composure when she calls every few hours, telling me that there was nothing else to do and that he’s no longer in pain, but after a while, I can’t handle all the talk about him and Harry takes the phone away from me. He murmurs to my mother. Harry has yet to raise his voice even the slightest when talking around me.

I crack three knuckles on my right hand and three on my left. Harry finally comes home, softly pushing the door open to enter. He sees me on the living room couch and he gives me a soft smile. I can tell from here that he’s very tired. The lines of his face don’t give him away, but it’s his slow movement, his hunched back, and his very, very dark circles under his eyes. He toes off his shoes, sets his bag down, and walks to me.

“Luce,” he greets me, crouching down in front of me. He’s still not speaking above a whisper. “Hi.”

My throat closes up immediately. I don’t want to leave him. I don’t want to break his heart.

He notices the shift in my eyes, I think, because he purses his lips and presses a gentle kiss to my cheek. We haven’t been intimate in weeks. “Are we all packed up for tomorrow? Our flight is in the morning.”

I nod. I need to do it tonight.

He watches my face carefully, though I’m not aware of what he’s searching for. He sighs, but it’s not from impatience. He’s been very patient with me, waking up when I do in the middle of the night, making all the meals, helping me wash my hair. “I wish you’d tell me what you need,” he whispers, cradling my head with his hands in my hair. My eyelids feel heavy when he begins to scratch my scalp. “I don’t know what you’re going through. Tell me what to do for you. I’m doing the best I can, but if there’s anything else… I’ve never…” He sighs again, but this one is more directed at himself. “I’m trying, Luce. Give me something here.”

I think I’ve run out of tears because my eyes burn and nothing happens. He looks up at me so exactly, his complete and undivided attention on me. His attentive eyes usually catch every flicker of emotion on my own face, digesting it, understanding what to do next, but I can see on his face that he’s unsure of what to do right now.

He kisses my cheek again and then my nose and then my brow. He kisses my forehead over and over as if he’s trying to get into my brain and figure out what I want from there since my mouth isn’t working.

“I’m going to make dinner,” he says. His knees crack when he stands up. His neck does the same when he rolls it. “I got some extra Christmas decorations from my parents’ house so we can set up our house and finish it when we get back.”

Anger suddenly bursts through my veins at him. I don’t mean for it to happen, but I need to feel something other than grief and sorrow or I’ll lose my mind or make him lose his mind. I don’t want the latter to happen, and perhaps that’s the root of my anger.

I grab his sleeve. “Stop doing that.”

He looks down at where I’m holding him and then my face. “Doing what?”

“Taking care of me. Stop it.”

Harry frowns. “Why would I stop that? You need it right now.”

“But just because I’m going through this doesn’t mean you have to also.” I manage to make eye contact with him again. It’s been hard to do that recently. “My dad died. Not yours. Go catch up on your sleep. Or eat something. You can’t just stop your life because of me.”

Harry’s back is rigid as he listens to me. I can’t look at his face anymore so I look down at his sleeve and then the cross tattoo on his hand. He doesn’t reply for a long time, but I can feel his eyes on me.

Finally, he removes his arm and says, “Dinner won’t take long. Give me an hour.” And then he leaves to go to the kitchen. I hear him washing his hands. I want to apologize, but I haven’t said anything wrong.

***

When he’s washing the dishes and handing them to me to dry, I say it. Tired of drying the same plate over and over, I put it down and press my nails into my palms to stop the compulsions. In the end, I wipe the plate one more time.

“I want to break up.”

Harry stills, but the plate he’s currently washing falls from his grip and clatters against the sink loudly. I wince, resisting the urge to place my hands over my ears, resisting the urge to turn on my heels and run away from him before he’s able to say anything.

Studying the counter, I feel Harry’s eyes slowly make their way over to my face, but I don’t dare to check the emotions on his face or I fear my legs will give out and all that I have rehearsed in my head will fly out the window and onto the blankets of snow, forever lost. There’s been too much disappointment, first from my mom for not being with my dad because I couldn’t get time off, and now from Harry for giving up on our relationship. The common denominator is me. I am the problem, and he’ll be upset about it for a while, but eventually he’ll see that this is for the best. This week and a half has been just a taste of the next few months Harry will have to endure.

When I go to Ecuador this weekend and hide in my mother’s house, I want to stay there with no guilt, no knowledge of being aware that Harry’s helping around the house when it should be me. He’s helping with the funeral arrangements because I’m unable to get out of bed. I’m an adult. I am 24 years old, yet I feel like a child. I should be taking initiative. I should have done it all, yet I’m laying it all on someone who’s met my dad only twice.

I can’t take knowing that I’ll be putting his life on hold like that, but more importantly, I can’t fathom the idea that Harry expects me to get out of this. I can tell by the way he looks at me when I get out of bed before noon, the light in his eyes burning just a little brighter, his arms stretching out towards me. He’s held me so much during these few weeks and I’ve only crashed harder. He has high expectations for me, wanting me to recover and learn to do the smallest things again such as wash my hair and iron my clothes, but I fear I won’t do that for a long, long time. For the time being that I’m unable to perform effortless tasks, he’ll be burdened with them.

I can’t have a relationship with him right now and this is the conclusion I’ve come to. I can't put my all into loving him the way that I want to. I want to love him so dearly in my own suffocating way, yet I don’t have the energy to lift a single finger at times.

He deserves better.

“No,” Harry finally says, reaching for the plate. His hands are trembling.

He doesn’t hand me the plate when he finishes washing it, instead laying it down in the sink, away from the other dishes.

“I want to.”

“No,” Harry repeats. My gaze flickers to his. He’s hiding his face behind his curls. They’re barely touching his ear lobes but they make excellent curtains. My eyes slide down to his neck and then his sleeves. He’s rolled them up to his forearms. He’s still in his work clothes because he hasn’t had a moment to himself since he returned from work. He’s been catering to my every single need.

“I am going to Ecuador alone.”

His fingers tighten around the cup he’s washing. “No.”

“This isn't something I’m going to negotiate with you. I want to be alone.”

He finally breaks his gaze from the china and shuts the faucet off. He doesn't bother drying his hands since I'm holding the only drying rag we have right now. The other is in the washing machine, the application that has not been used in over a week because Harry hasn’t had the time to do the laundry and I haven’t gone anywhere near it.

I expect him to argue with me. I’m prepared for it. But instead, he leans against the counter, his slippery hands on the marble, and he closes his eyes briefly.

When he speaks, it’s a coarse whisper of, “What did I do?”

My heart falls to my stomach and begins to ache like it’s never done before. It’s simultaneously on fire and corroding.

His head drops low. “Or rather what did I not do? What have I done wrong?”

The clock ticks. 19 seconds later, he moves.

His frame tightens and stands back up to his full weight. His body turns towards me and his hands reach out blindly, grabbing what they can. It ends up being my shoulders, but he’s not satisfied with it, not even when he pushes my back into the counter and yanks my head up.

“Tell me,” he whispers fiercely, his eyes dark. “Just tell me. I’ll fix it. Whatever it is, Luce. Whatever it is.”

His thumbs brush over my cheek, not quite in a romantic way, but in an automatic way. The cold air tells me that I’m crying. Crying was not in the plan.

“Lucía,” he says again, giving me a small shake. “Come back to me. I’m right here. I’m waiting for you. Tell me what to do! I don’t know what to do!”

“I’m telling you what to do now,” I mutter. “I’m telling you to walk away.”

His eyes widen and he tightens his fingers around my face harder. “Anything but that. I will do anything you want, no matter what it is, but I will not do that. I will not walk away and you better now walk away either or I’ll… I’ll…”

There’s nothing he can do. Harry has always commended me for having made up my mind when it’s made up because living in a constant haze of unknown for me is more harmful than anything. When my hand is suspended between the faucet after my fingers have turned pruney from washing my hands over and over, he hates standing there to witness it. He knows he can’t touch me. But he also knows that the only person who can help me in this situation is myself.

And that’s what will help me now.

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” he says, thumbing my cheek. “You need help and I’m trying to help you. You don’t get to push me away.”

“I’m telling you what I want.”

“But you love me. I know you do. That’s the only thing I’m certain about right now.”

I can’t deny that. “I do.”

“So, why? What did I do wrong? Why are you doing this to us?”

He absolutely deserves to be told why I'm taking his heart directly from his chest and stepping on it with spiked boots, but I can’t bring myself to, suddenly overwhelmed by fatigue. My eyes slip from his face and he needs to hold my body up so I don’t fall. Perhaps it’s the lack of food or the little water intake that causes this sudden drop, but Harry steps forward and lets me lean on him.

If Harry weren’t here, I would have dropped to the floor and somehow that would hurt less than the guilt I feel right now.

I don’t have an answer for him. He gives me a glass of water.

“Can we talk about this more tonight?” he asks, but he resembles a small child asking his only friend not to ever leave him. My heart aches and I’m out of words, so I nod.

Harry tucks me in and waits a long moment for me to speak up. All my arguments in my head require effort and I can’t seem to even raise my head currently. He kneels besides me and runs his hand over and over my head.

We sit in the dark, listening to that clock on the wall that reminds of just how much time is passing through my fingers and how I’ll never be able to stop it. The distance between the scathing words I've said and Harry’s silence stretches on and on until he finally presses his lips to mine, slowly, tenderly.

He whispers, “If I leave, will you be okay? Will it help?”

I nod.

“Luce, can you give me some sort of verbal response? I can’t see you very well.”

In my small, pathetic voice, I say, “It’ll help.”

He swears softly. “Are you sure? I’m really confused, Luce. I don’t know what’s happening.”

“I’ll be okay.”

He swears again, much louder, and I hear him press his forehead to the side table. “I don’t want this. Will you even hear me out if I try to argue with you?”

“Please don’t.”

I wish my dad was here to tell me that I’m being selfish for hurting Harry because he’s the only one I’d listen to right now.

“Luce, I don’t want to break up. Please don’t do this. I don’t want to be alone.”

He knows I’ve made up my mind and the silence confirms this.

He’s quiet for some time and I’m nearly asleep when he stands up, kisses my fingers, and heads to his closet. I hear him remove his suitcase from the corner of his room, lay it down on the hard ground, and begin piling more things into it. We both packed for only a week, but now he’s packing it with all his sweaters and hoodies. I have two of his in my own suitcase, but I don't dare to tell him that.

From his shadow, I see he’s trembling and when he sniffles softly, I want to die. I have never wanted to die more than I want to at that moment. Not when my father passed away, not when I got the call from my mom, and not even when I went to bed only to be unable to get up for the next few days.

Listening to him cry feels as if I’m stuck in quicksand and I want to beg him to stop, implore him to not cry over someone so unworthy, but I can only watch him as he moves around the room, packing a separate bag where he places his shoes, accessories, and larger jackets.

I think I fall asleep when he goes to the bathroom and begins to gather his products from there.

***

Harry doesn’t say much the next morning. He wakes me with a gentle hand and then disappears, leaving me to get ready. At 8, we’re both standing in the kitchen. Harry’s looking at the sink absently as if remembering all that I ruined for him the night before.

He takes my bag from me and sets it in the trunk, lending me his arm when I crunch across the unshoveled snow on the ground and then the ice on the driveway.

When we get to the highway, he says, “Do you have anything else you want to say to me?”

“I don’t think so.”

He nods and adjusts the heat levels. I think he’s angry at me.

“You should pull your beanie over your ears more,” he says after he clears his throat. I look at his phone in the cupholder after I fix my hat, wanting to grab his phone and put some music on like I normally do.

He doesn’t say a word after that. I know how to cope with him when he says what’s on his mind, but not when he’s silent.

It’s my turn to speak. “I bought you something.”

He doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “For what?”

“Your birthday.”

His cheeks suck in. “I forgot about it.”

“It’s in the closet. I hid it from you there weeks ago, under your old shoeboxes. Don’t tell me if you hate it.”

“Thanks.”

Silence again. I must seem as if I’m out of my mind for breaking up with him mere three days before his birthday. He shows more signs of anger on his face, but not in his driving. His hands on the wheel as loose as always, his attentive eyes flickering over the road, mirrors, and heat every few seconds. He doesn't need the GPS for directions. Harry and I have already been to Ecuador earlier this year.

The silence is excruciating. Oh, God, how will I ever get this white noise out of my head?

When he finally pulls up against the curb of the airport drop off location and parks the car, neither of us move to get out and wrestle my bag out from the trunk. It’s getting suffocatingly hot in the car and Harry realizes this, reaching out to turn the heat down.

“This is really what you want?” he asks, avoiding looking at me. I know his eyes are red and his nose matches it, not from the biting December cold.

“Yes.”

“Why did you wait until the last moment?”

“I wanted to make it easier on us.”

“Easier,” Harry repeats incredulously. There aren’t many cars parked behind us, so I’m not worried about annoying others by parking where we clearly should not be parked. “You want me to drive away?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re okay with that? Two years with me and you want it to end like this, Lucía?”

It’s not rare for Harry to use my full name, but this time, his voice is filled with frustration and muted anger.

“I think it’s best if we don’t dwell too long on it.”

Harry finally breaks his gaze from the parking lot and turns his head towards me. His dark eyes are wide in disbelief. “Dwell?” he whispers. “You think I won’t dwell on you? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

I think I might be, but this makes sense in my head. “It’ll be easier.” I know he immediately regrets the tone he’s used with me, but I want to tell him that I like that he’s no longer whispering or tip-toeing around me. There is still a lot of anguish he’s holding back, but he’s swallowing it all down.

His head goes back to resting on his seat. He takes deep breaths and then he presses his palms to his eyes. “Do you want me to beg, Luce? I can. God, I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking doing this to us, but if you want me to beg, I will.”

“Don’t want you to beg. I just want this to end. Easily.”

“What part of this is easy?”

That, I don’t have a reply for. He senses it after a tense pause.

“I can’t stop you from leaving,” he says, removing his hands from his face. He blinks his eyes to adjust to the light. “I can’t go after you. But I hope you know that you’re fucking ruining me. And I don’t know if I can forgive you for that. Have it your way, then.”

His door opens first and he removes my bag from the trunk. Walks me to the door. My fingers are numb despite the gloves he’s made me wear. When we arrive at the sliding doors, his hand yanks my sleeve and thrusts me back to his chest, slamming my jaw into his hoodie.

His quivering, soft lips are warm against my forehead and his hand tenderly strokes my beanie. He seems to be quite confused with his emotions. His words and actions are the opposite, at times tender and other times angered.

“I’m keeping the key so I can come by when you’re gone to get the rest of my stuff.” His voice is scratchy, reminding me of how it sounds after I wake up after falling asleep on his stomach because he hasn’t spoken to anyone since I began unconscious.

I think I’ll remember this moment for my whole life. Our breath in the air, puffy eyes, too hot skin.

He puts his face against my neck, arms around me so tight, I see stars from the lack of air in my lungs. I hold him back as fiercely as I can. He kisses my neck over and over, desperately, clutching my jacket with his hands. His kisses make beautiful noises as they impact and mark my skin, his scent overwhelming and no longer mine. His lips travel to my face and I keep my eyes shut as he bruises my face with those firm kisses repeatedly.

“If you,” he whispers, pulling away, carding his fingers through my hair, “ever want to talk, could you please think of me first? If you need anything. Or if you just want me back, my Lucie, please just call me. Even if you want to see me one more time and decide you never want to again. I will come running back to you. I swear it. I love you. I do. I don’t want this.”

My throat has closed. I nod over and over, disassociated. “Love you.” My voice comes out in a whisper and he finally releases my body, takes a deep breath, breathes out a swear, and then walks away.

I watch him drive off.

I stand there until I can't feel my face.

And then I go to catch my flight.

***

One Year Later

My friends greet me with a cheer and help me inside the restaurant since they’ve arrived at the same time as me. I get two massive hugs from both of them, one of them marveling over how I’ve cut my hair. The last time I’d seen them, one of them was driving me to therapy, and the other one had picked me up. My car is still under many feet of snow so I’ve taken an Uber here, though I’ll need a ride back home because I suspect this party will not be over for many hours and it’s already 8.

All three of us enter and find our table. We’re not the first ones here, so we greet the others and fall into comfortable small talk as we wait for the rest of our friends.

The girl I’ve been closest to touches my earring lightly. “Hey.”

I turn to her. Her name is Esmeralda and she smiles at me. “Hi.”

“I wanted to tell you earlier but I didn’t actually find out until a few moments ago. Harry’s going to be here.” She searches my face. “Is that alright?”

Harry. I haven’t seen him since he drove away from the airport a year and exactly one month ago. I play with my earring and nod, giving Esmeralda a smile that I hope shows honesty. “Yes. That’s okay.”

She nods. “I get that whatever happened between you guys hasn’t fully settled yet. He wasn’t going to come for the dinner, but the snow let up and he said he was available–”

“Ez, you don’t have to make excuses for him. I introduced you to him and he’s a part of this group. I knew I’d have to see him eventually.”

I didn’t go to the Christmas dinner a few weeks back since my mother was visiting, and I didn’t exactly have the strength to get ready. That month was brutal to me, and I’m happy that I don't have to explain myself to my friends. I was able to have some time to myself, grieving. I did imagine seeing Harry if I ended up going to the Christmas dinner, however, I knew it wasn’t likely that I’d go. Now, a month later at my friend’s late New Year’s dinner, I accepted the idea of seeing Harry again.

The only difficult part is that I don’t fully realize how premature this meeting is until he arrives, clad in his black suit that looks very familiar to the one he bought last year for my birthday, a smile stretched wide on his face. His hair has not been cut and he easily tucks it behind his ear, the shiny curls resting gently on his broad shoulders.

My heart steadily throbs in my chest, hands clammy and cold, and I’m aware of Esmeralda’s cautious look thrown in my direction. From the moment Harry enters and goes around the table hugging all of our friends, I realize how selfish of a woman I truly am. Because I’m happy he’s got his smile lines back, but I’m also unhappy that I haven’t been the one to cause them to return.

He stands to his full height after he finished hugging Esmeralda, kissing her cheek, and when his gaze falls onto me, he takes a step back. His smile does not fall when he sees me, but it does falter. The chatter around us has begun again so it’s easy to focus solely on him, especially without anyone watching us and monitoring both our reactions. His throat works as he swallows and then he holds his hand out, fingers lightly decorated with two or three rings.

It’s been over a year.

“Hi,” he hesitantly says in his deep, rich voice that used to make me melt.

He helps me up and it suddenly reminds me of his hands on my back as he’d help me sit up in bed so I could have my first meal of the day sometime well into the afternoon. To my surprise, Harry doesn’t look angry at me, nor does he say things that may suggest he has negative feelings towards me. In fact, when I stand up, he pulls me into a friendly hug. My heart is thundering in my chest and ears, hands shaking as they link behind Harry’s neck.

He smells the same.

His arm goes around my waist for half a second, squeezing me, before returning his arms back to his side. He doesn't kiss my cheek like he’s done for everyone else.

“Hi,” he repeats, clearing his throat. “Sorry. I didn’t know you’d be here. You weren’t at the other dinner so I thought…”

“My mom was here,” I blurt, mentally kicking myself because I haven’t even said hello.

His eyebrows raise. “Oh, was she? For how long?”

“Two weeks.”

Harry nods and sticks his hands into his pockets. “Ah. That’s good. I’m glad you got to see her. She’s doing well?”

“Yes.” This is painfully awkward. I wish my hands would stop shaking. “Er, how are you?”

“I’m alright. I’m good. How are you?” His question is accompanied with a frown as if he can’t believe he’s just asked me that. “Sorry. That was stupid of me to ask. I hope you’re doing a lot better.”

I offer him an attempt at a smile. “It’s okay. I’m doing alright too.”

He nods again, looking away. “It’s good to see you. You look great.” His tone falls flat at the end.

“Thank you. You, too.”

“Thanks.” He steps back then, inclining his head, and then walking around me to get to the other side of the table.

I practically fall into my seat as if put off balance by our conversation. How incredibly awkward. My cheeks are on fire and I shove my hands under my thighs.

I try to keep my eyes off Harry during dinner, but as usual, he’s the center of the discussion often because of his ability to turn anything into a fun conversation. When he’s speaking generally to all of us, my eyes gravitate over to him, down his neck, and into the blazer of his shirt. A small necklace rests against his collars, but the pendant itself is hidden under his shirt so I can’t see if it’s the same necklace he’s worn for years or not.

Harry, though, manages to avoid all eye contact with me for the duration of the dinner. An odd feeling settles into my stomach, something that I’ve refused to acknowledge since he’s come here, and it accompanies the thought that he’s just not interested anymore.

He has every reason to have moved on, and perhaps that person is the reason for those smile lines returning. His eyes are light, contrasting with the darkness that surrounded him when he was with me last, holed up in that house for weeks, tending to my every need. He’s relaxed, knees spread wide under the table, laughing with his head thrown back. He’s happy. And I am happy for him.

When he speaks, I try to catch any underlying tone of tenderness about anyone he speaks about, such as a significant other. But he talks about his family, his neighbors, and his little cousins, but never of anyone else. Nobody teases him of his significant other or anyone in his life. Perhaps they’ve sworn off the topic since both Harry and I are here, and a part of me is happy about that because I’m not sure how I’d handle it.

He’s so close to me after over a year of silence. When I returned from Ecuador a year ago, I half expected Harry to still be there, making our bed or doing laundry, waiting for my return, but he wasn’t there. When I entered our foyer and called out his name, I expected him to show his face, grim and stern. I thought he’d hand me a cup of hot coffee, force me to sit down, and have a conversation about our break up, but all I got back were echoes.

He’d done exactly as I’d told him to: walked away. He left barely any trace of him behind in our house. Not even a spare toothbrush. This is what I asked of him, and he’d done it, so why did I feel that emptiness inside my body again?

As I stare at him, I try to imagine what exactly he’s thinking of. Does he feel my eyes on his? Is he bothered by my gaze?

Dinner goes by quickly and we all drink to a new year. When it comes time for New Year’s Resolutions, Harry raises his glass and says, “My resolution is to get you all to pay me back because I have been paying for you freeloaders for years now.” It makes me laugh and Harry’s eyes cut to mine briefly as he sips his drink.

When it’s my turn, I raise my glass and say, “I want to go out more with all of you.”

Esmeralda says she wants to have more sex and Harry throws his entire drink back at that.

Eventually, everyone begins to leave and we head over to our cars. I hang back, waiting for my Uber to come, rubbing my hands together. I feel lighter now that I’ve surrounded myself with my friends and my first encounter with Harry after our breakup wasn’t exactly bad.

Footsteps behind me crunch against the snow.

“Hey.” Harry stands besides me, his hands in his pockets. His nose is already red from the cold and his skin looks paler against the blankets of snow.

My traitorous heart leaps into my throat. He’s speaking to me. “Hi.”

“You’re waiting for your ride?”

“Yeah.”

He nods. “Do you want me to drive you home?”

I turn my body fully towards his, leaning against the restaurant’s outer structure. He’s not looking at me, playing with his keys inside his pocket. I look at him properly, taking in everything. I recall the kisses I placed on his cheeks and neck, my hands sliding into his shirt, my tongue touching his in the midst of heated, hot kisses. Something inside me aches.

“No, it’ll be here soon.”

“Okay.”

He makes no move to leave. Instead, he looks down at his shoes and taps the snow off them. I’m amazed by how I’ve forgotten just how tall he is. A fragment in my chest caves at the thought of all the things I probably don’t know about him anymore.

“Are you okay?” he asks, still looking at the ground.

“Are you asking me that or your shoes?”

He raises his head and slides his eyes over to mine. “Sorry. It’s just…you know.”

“Awkward, I know. I’m okay. Really.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“Are you also waiting for a ride?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

Harry looks away, rubbing his hands together.

A few cars pass by, our friends sticking their hands out to say goodbye to us. Harry and I both wave back.

“Are you upset with me?” Harry asks, kicking snow off his shoes again.

I frown immediately. “What? No. Why do you think that?”

“I don’t,” he clarifies quietly, removing his keys from his pocket, fiddling with them. “I don’t think you’re upset with me because you’d tell me. But I also think that things have changed and I don’t know if you’d tell me if you were upset with me.”

“Why would I be?”

He shakes his head, curls flying. I catch a glimpse of a hair tie around his wrist that makes me think that he puts his hair into a bun. I’d love to see it. “I don’t know.” He clears his throat. “Listen, I don’t want this to be awkward. We’re probably going to see each other more if you come to things like this so I just want to make sure we’re good. You’re not upset and I’m not either.”

“You’re not? You deserve to be. It’s okay.”

“No,” Harry says, clearly lying. “I’m not. It’ll be a little weird, but since we have the same friends…” he trails off. “You get what I’m saying?”

“Yes.”

“Good. We’re both mature enough to handle this breakup properly. I think that’s your ride.”

My Uber is now parked in front of the restaurant. I pull my coat tighter against me. “Yeah. I’ll see you.” His jaw is tight as he nods.

“Lucía,” he suddenly calls, when I get to the car. I turn to look at him, holding the handle tightly so I don’t slip. “We’re friends, right?”

I smile. It’s a genuine one too, and it makes one of his dimples return, not quite as deep as I’d prefer, but I think it’ll get there someday.

“Yes,” I answer truthfully. “We are.”

***

Present

Harry lays kiss after kiss on my face. He starts down at my collarbones, dipping his head to get all that he can, using his hands around my jaw to maneuver me in the position of his choosing. Since I’m half asleep, I let him. His lips are warm from his hot chocolate, his curls tickling my jaw as he continues his kisses higher. My jaws are next. Then my cheeks. My nose. And finally my eyelids.

“Open them,” he murmurs, cradling my head. “Let me see those pretty eyes.”

“Harry.” I’m trying to pull away from him, unable to bite away the smile on my face. “Stop it.”

“I love you,” he whispers, kissing my mouth softly. He presses me into our kitchen counter, besides the sink. “You’re so soft. Can I keep you with me forever?”

I can’t help but laugh, grabbing his shirt and slowly pushing him away. He stumbles back a bit, but grins at me, releasing my face. “Yes you can keep me forever.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, mi ángel.”

Harry pinches my cheek fondly, his eyes half lidded. “How are you feeling?”

I did not have a great night last night, but having Harry beside me, tending to my needs whether I needed kisses or just a cold glass of water helped me tremendously. He was there, his arm slung over my shoulders, his legs tangled with mine. We tried to put the clock up last night, but after a few hours, I couldn’t take the sound any longer and Harry had removed the batteries.

“I’m doing better.”

“Good,” he murmurs, leaning down to kiss me again. His hands hold my back firmly, encouraging me to step onto my toes, and when I do, he hoists me onto the counter.

I fist his curls gently, leaning back against the cabinet. His mouth lays on mine to give me a passionate kiss, his hands sliding down to my bare thighs where the cool marble of the counter has made goosebumps form on my skin. He rubs on them lightly as if trying to get rid of them, but when his tongue slides across my lower lip and presses into my mouth, a flutter in my stomach occurs.

“You are so pretty,” he whispers against my mouth, palming over my inner thighs until I part them and he stands between them. “You look so cute in my shirt. I just want to eat you up.”

“Yeah?” I whisper back, pushing his hair back. “Go ahead then.”

A smile spreads across my boyfriend’s lips. “You want it?”

“Mhm.”

“As you wish, Luce.”

I watch him, holding back my laugh, as he slowly sinks down to his knees and spreads my thighs apart. With a yank, he lines the apex of my thighs to his mouth and begins to softly kiss my thighs.

Unlike four years ago, Harry and I have been having frequent sex. Since we’ve gotten back together a few weeks ago, it’s been all about relearning each other’s bodies, and while I do try to pleasure him when we’re not having penetrative sex, I’ve learned that one thing hasn’t changed about Harry: he loves getting on his knees for me.

It’s arousing to see him submit between my legs, kissing and tasting me as if he’s never had anything so delicious. Harry’s warm tongue can be both precise and sloppy, and it’s one thing I’m happy to report that hasn’t changed. Even prior to our breakup, Harry had a talent for making me cum on his tongue, and he hasn’t lost his enthusiasm for it.

He promised me weeks ago that he’d spend more time between my legs. He has been recently. And I love the sight of his curly hair bunched into my fists, his tongue working over me, his fingers deep inside, rubbing that one part that I can’t reach myself.

I shudder with anticipation as Harry slowly slides my underwear down my legs, his eyes flickering up to meet mine briefly. When he looks at me like that, I want to combust.

He presses a kiss to each thigh and then pulls me closer, running his tongue along my core. Electricity zips through me and I have to catch myself before I hit my head against the cabinets, my fingers instantly tightening around his curls.

He laps his tongue over my clit gently before his eyes flutter shut and he seemingly loses himself in the moment. How can such a filthy scene turn into a loving one? His nose is pressed over my clit and his tongue… fuck’s sake his talented tongue.

I used to be embarrassed of the sounds I made when he’d lick me. They’re quite different to what they can be when Harry’s dick is inside of me, but right now, I feel overwhelmed, and the noise that comes out is a breathy plea.

“Fuck,” I whisper softly, tucking his hair back almost endearingly. “You are so good, mi ángel. Always treating me well.”

His eyebrows twitch, telling me he likes it when I speak to him. When he pulls away and looks at me with those gorgeous green eyes, there’s a string of spit connecting us, and he doesn’t bat an eye when he presses two fingers to my mouth. “Go on.”

I take his middle and ring finger into my mouth, coating them generously with my saliva. He hums his approval and then removes his fingers, dragging my lip as he does. “Good girl.”

I don’t have enough time to react to his words as he presses a single finger into me, sinking it deep until I jolt, letting out a desperate groan. “Fuck’s sake…”

“So pretty,” he repeats, working the second finger in, staring at me as he twists his fingers and rubs that spot inside of me that makes me unable to stop whimpering.

A lazy smile spreads over his lips. “You like that, don’t you?”

“Harry,” I whisper, resting my head on the cabinets. “Oh, fucking hell. Please. Please, that’s so fucking good.”

He loves it. He eats it up. His tongue joins the mixture, gently flicking my clit as his fingers work inside of me, a combination that never fails to make me squirm.

The sensation is bursting inside of me, low in my stomach and also in my thundering heart. His eyes are closed again as if he’s enjoying every second of it, swallowing my cries, taking them as encouragement. My thighs begin to tremble and he feels them around the frame of his face. He picks his head up, bites down on my thigh, and grins up at me. “Doing okay?”

“My heart is going to stop.”

He snorts and stands up, keeping his fingers buried inside of me. He’s abusing that spot over and over, soaking my sounds. He kisses my mouth firmly, using his other hand to hold the back of my neck, forcing me to look into his eyes.

“Please don’t stop, please don’t stop, please, please, right there!” I chant over and over against his mouth, my eyes beginning to water at the intensity of the pleasure. “Oh fuck, Harry. I love you. I love you so much, you’re gonna make me cum.”

“Do you have any idea how much you’re drenching my fingers?” he murmurs softly, trailing his lips over my jaw. He bites down on my earlobe. “I can feel you running down my palm, Luce.”

With those words, he presses his fingers into me at a punishingly fast pace and then returns to rub that beautiful spot. He’s all I can see and hear, curls in my hand, my body trembling against his fully clothed one. When I glance down, I can see his hand straining, veins outlined around his forearm, but he doesn’t seem the slightest bit affected by the pain building up there. He’s watching my face, holding my jaw, swallowing my cries.

“Are you going to give me a good one?” he murmurs, tracing my cheek tenderly as if this is a romantic moment. I nod desperately. “Yeah? You deserve it, don’t you? Haven’t had the best week, so this can be your reward for keeping it together. Think you should get this reward more often?”

“Yes,” I breathe, unable to keep myself from kissing his mouth. “You always feel so fucking good.”

He smiles at that, biting down on my lower lip. “You’re so pretty,” he says for the hundredth time. “You’ve always been pretty to me, from the moment I met you to now. Even when you were breaking up with me.” He raises his head and softly laughs. “Now look at us. I’m about to make you cum. We’re in love. Seems like a happy ever after, right?”

“Let me have an orgasm first, you arrogant bastard,” I whisper, gripping onto his shoulders tightly. “I can’t hold it.”

He laughs again. “I’m not telling you to hold it.”

The orgasm rocks through my violently. I clutch him close to me, muffling my cries into his shoulder, his hand holding the back of my head to his body tenderly while his other hand’s fingers move inside of me deeply, showing no signs up stopping until my orgasm has passed and I’m left only panting and no longer trying to hold in a scream.

“You are beautiful, my Lucie. Absolutely beautiful.”

Harry kisses my hair and slowly withdraws his fingers out of me. He kisses the bridge of my nose, removes his hoodie and hands it to me. As I shakily put it on, he watches me carefully and washes his hands at the sink.

He’s grinning when I reach for him. To my surprise, he wipes away the moisture in my eyes and holds me gently to his chest.

“How is it,” I whisper, listening to the sounds of my own heartbeat in my ears, “that you feel so good to me? Maybe we’re meant to be.”

He chuckles. “I do think we’re meant to be, Luce. And that’s very sweet of you to say after an orgasm.”

“But I mean it,” I weakly insist. “I do.”

“I know. I’m only kidding. Here.” He hands me my underwear and helps me off the counter. Once everything is in place, he softly pulls my chin up to align our eyes. He’s been doing this for years and it always makes me want to fall into his arms.

“I was thinking we could go out tonight. For dessert.”

“Okay,” I murmur, testing my legs. “I think I can handle that. Give me like two minutes and I’ll help you with your situation.” The situation is his hard cock in his sweatpants.

Harry wipes the edge of his mouth and takes a step back. “It’s okay. We’ll have more fun tonight. I’m really hungry too. Can you give me a minute and I’ll be right back?”

He turns away, but I catch his sleeve. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for everything you’ve done for me these past few years,” I tell him quietly. “I thought about it a lot when we weren’t together, how you helped me when my dad died and how hard those weeks were. I broke up with you because I felt overwhelmed and couldn’t love you properly, and I never got to say thank you. So I’m saying it now. Four years later.”

Harry doesn’t say anything for some time, his eyes soft, mouth gently curved up. Finally, he brushes his fingers over my cheek and says, “You’re welcome. I’ll be right back, Luce.” I nod, turn my head to kiss his fingers, and then go to make breakfast as he heads off to the bathroom.

I’m waiting for him in the dining room when he comes back. He sits down in the chair opposite of mine and reaches for his hot chocolate that I’ve reheated.

“Alright, my love. What have you got for me this morning?”

#harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry and lucía #harry styles x oc #harry styles x woc #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles extra #harry creators & co

295 notes · View notes

t0shii · 4 years ago

Note

Hiiiiii :D can I request angst to fluff with Bokuto suna and Kyotani where their s/o wanted some food/snakes in the middle of the night so instead of waking the guys up they go by themselves to Store and the guys wake up looking for them and get scared/mad when they can’t find them

ღ — when they wake up alone

.! timeskip! bokuto, suna, kyotani (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ lots of cursing, mentions of eating; not proofread

.! oh wow... i will totally write this for you 😈😈 ty for the request & hope you enjoy- these turned out pretty lengthy huh?

bokuto

bokuto is absolutely beside himself when he wakes up and your side of the bed is cold and empty. quickly he sits up and calls your name, "y/n?? y/n, baby?" no response the crease in his brows deepening with the frown on his lips. "must he in the bathroom or something" he mumbles to himself, clumsily getting out of your shared bed and walking fast to the bathroom down the hall. he knocks on the door quietly, "babe, you in there?" he waits a few seconds before opening the door, only to find the room dark and empty. now he's feeling really nervous, where the hell were you? 'the kitchen?' he thinks but when he gets there it too is empty, he basically tears the whole house apart looking for you, no where to be found. maybe you left him? finally got tired of his immature personality, maybe you just couldn't stand to be with him another minute- even as he slept.

the negative thoughts plagued his brain, so much so in fact, he hadn't even heard the front door of your shared apartment open, or the thud of your snacks hitting the hardwood floor. he hadn't even noticed you make your way toward him, "bokuto, baby, what's wrong?" his head snaps up at the sound of your voice, "y/n? you're back?" he reaches out for you and you stand there hugging him as he sat on the couch, "yeah, i couldn't sleep so i went to get snacks. why are you crying though? did you have a nightmare?" you run your hands through his hair and it calms him down almost immediately. "n-no but i reached for you and you were gone and t-then i couldn't find you anywhere.... i-i thought you left me for good." he hiccups, you feel guilt creep up your chest at his words. "oh bo, baby no! i just didn't wanna wake you since you have a match tomorrow." he sighs, arms wrapping around you tighter, "please just wake me up next time, you really scared me." you promise you won't leave the house without telling him from now on and cheer him up with some of the snacks you bought, and kisses of course.

suna

suna's first feeling is disappointment as he reaches over to pull your body closer to his, still half asleep, but is met with an empty space. he's annoyed but doesn't think too much about it, you probably had use the bathroom or something so you'd be back in no time. it's only when he realizes too much time has gone by and you still weren't in bed he starts to get really irritated and a little nervous, why weren't you back in bed? he groans, throwing the comforter away from his body and stands from the bed, "y/n where the hell did you go?" his voice his hoarse as he calls out for you checking each room in the apartment, only for them to be empty. he curses to himself as he sits on the couch, plenty of emotions running through his veins. it worried him that he had no clue where you were and it pissed him off that you hadn't said anything before you left. even more though, he couldn't shake the uncomfortable feeling that maybe you left with the purpose of never coming back- it made him uneasy.

he hadn't meant to fall asleep on the couch in same position he'd sat down in, the sound of the front door opening snapping him awake almost immediately. all he felt was annoyance, it was nearly 2 am and here you were walking through the front door, paper bags in hand. "where the hell did you go?" the question comes out a little harsher than he'd originally wanted it to but he was too tired to care at this point. you flinch at his question, "uhm to the convenience store? i couldn't sleep so i decided to get snacks and you have a game later so i didn't wanna wake you." he rolls his eyes, "so you leave me to wake up alone? i couldn't find you anywhere- i was worried sick. do you only think about yourself or something?" well shit, he hadn't meant to say that last part. you drop your bags to the ground and immediately suna knows he's fucked up big time. "i-i'm sorry, i just didn't want to wake you up b-because-" you were already breathing heavy, tears staining your cheeks and suna has no idea how he can recover from this.

"oh fuck, baby- i didn't mean to- shit i'm so sorry" he inches closer to you and to his surprise you let him embrace you "i didn't mean to snap at you, i swear. i'm just so tired and i was so fucking worried you weren't gonna come back- god i'm so sorry" he hold you tight in his arms, "i'm sorry too rin, i should've at least left a note, but i knew i wasn't gonna be gone for long so i didn't even think about it." you apologize but he only shushes you, "still, i should have never snapped at you." you nod against his chest, "you really worried me though, i thought that- you know what it doesn't matter, you're back now. let's eat those snacks you brought back, yeah?" the two of you spend the rest of the night eating the snacks you bought and suna holds you close and tight like you'll fade away if he doesn't.

kyotani

kyotani is a heavy sleeper, especially after a long set and he's definitely not a morning person- no matter the time he's woken up. so when he wakes up you side of the bed empty and cold, he already feels him becoming agitated. he rolls over to check his phone, 3:52 am, "what the fuck, y/n" the grumbles, "y/n." he yells, loud but no response, "of course you're gonna make me get up." he scoffs. firstly he searches the living room, he knew that oftentimes, you had trouble sleeping and knowing he hated to be woke up, you would sneak into the living room to watch tv until you were sleepy again but of course you weren't there. you weren't in the kitchen either, and he didn't find you in the bathroom nor on the balcony. kyotani checks his phone, no texts no calls, nothing. he rolls his eyes and throws himself onto the couch refusing to text or call you out of his own stubborn national, plus, what if you were driving? he turns on the tv to distract himself from the pit of anxiety bubbling in his belly, nothing can really stop his thoughts from running wild though, he can't shake the feeling that you weren't coming back and had left him for good, finally tired of his- well everything about him, really.

he thoughts are interrupted when he hears the front door open, relieved to see your face but angry as he remembers you'd left without a word. he frowns standing up to meet you at the front door, apparently you weren't expecting him because you flinch as he makes his presence known by clearing his throat, "oh fuck- kyo you scared me! why are you awake?" he scoffs "oh i scared you? well at least you didn't wake up to an empty house at nearly four am" his tone has you frowning, "i didn't wake you up because you'd be upset with me and i knew you needed rest after your show from earlier." his face softens but still he rolls his eyes and glances at the bags in your hands. "whatever, what's in the bags?" he takes them from you and sets them on the island counter, "i couldn't sleep so i went to get snacks." you follow him to the kitchen, "i got your favorite too." if he was still annoyed before he definitely wasn't anymore, did he even deserve the snacks? he'd just snapped at you minutes earlier. he grunts in acknowledgment, "c'mon, we can eat together, kyo. i'll put on a movie." you grab his hand in one hand and the bags of snacks in the other and lead him to the living room where you both lay on the couch.

his silence is all too loud as you put on a movie you both enjoy, "kyo, is something wrong?" kyotani can't help the tears that form in his eyes as he embraces you tightly, "i was worried about you, you brat. why'd you leave without telling me? you coulda left me a text or something." you're stunned at his sudden outburst, "i was only gone for 30 minutes, kentaro... but still i'm sorry, i should've left a note, but i didn't think you'd wake up while i was gone?" you rub his back and chuckle, "did you miss me that much, baby?" he shakes his head as best he can while it's in the crook of your neck, "i thought you weren't gonna come back." his confession surprises you, "oh... why would i not come back? i love you too much to leave for good." you grin, "really?" "really". the both of you spend the rest of the dark hours of the morning watching movies and eating the snacks you bought all while in a tight embrace.

1K notes · View notes

tendouluvr · 4 years ago

Text

not telling them you’re pregnant [2] - f!reader

- little angst, hurt/comfort??, fluff

- characters: iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama

- warnings: pregnancy, cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, some cursing, mentions of sex, “mad” iwa makes out with your neck, atsumu pretends to faint and reader jokes about him dying :0

- wc: 1.4k, 1.3k, 1.7k (jfc thats a lot)

a/n: thank u guys for all the love on the first part <333 ily all and ty to the nonnie that requested tsumu and kags

f!reader cuz pregnancy but no specific prns/gendered terms used

[1. suna, sakusa, semi]

IWAIZUMI

#! you were planning on telling iwaizumi the big news that night

#! you missed your cycle this month, thinking it was probably just late so you didn’t care and waited for one more week to pass before worrying

#! it was almost two weeks now, your period tracker repeatedly sending you notifications to remind you to log your monthly cycle

#! but you had no cycle to log

#! thinking that you should go buy some tests, you did just that and came home to see them all turn positive

#! you were in the kitchen cooking a quick dinner when iwaizumi came home

#! he entered your home mumbling under his breath about some kid while putting up his jacket and shoes

#! “welcome home, haji!” you greeted him from the kitchen

#! “hey.” he briefly said back making you turn around to look at him

#! “you alright? what happened?” you tried starting a conversation in hopes of getting his mind off of whatever it is that seems to be bothering him

#! “some fucking kids came into the gym today, acting all obnoxious, trying to taunt me and the team because they wanted to impress some girls who probably didn’t even know them. would’ve knocked them out if it wasn’t against the fucking law.” he harshly explained his day while looking through the fridge for his protein drink

#! you tried not to laugh, turning around so he couldn’t see your face and tightening your lips together to contain yourself, but it was so funny you couldn’t help but imagine it

#! iwaizumi heard the giggles coming from you causing him to roll his eyes, “what’s funny?”

#! “nothing, should’ve just knocked them out, babe.”

#! “yea? sounds like you want to start visiting me in jail,” he makes his way over to back hug you while you continued cooking at the stove, “well then, i’ll keep that in mind next time some dinky teenager get in my face, baby.” he mumbles against your neck before giving you a quick kiss there

#! “hajjj, i’m cooking. go be horny elsewhere!” your upper half shuddered when he continued making out with your neck

#! “whatever you say, your highness.” deep chuckles come from him while he lets go of you to walk to the bedroom

#! “don’t call me that!” his laugh getting louder at your exclamation

#! later that night, you both laid in bed on your sides staring out of the window in front of you

#! “hey haj,” your voice a gentle whisper as to not wake him up if he had already fell asleep

#! “hmm?” he hums from behind you, rough, warm hands under your shirt rubbing itself on your bare stomach

#! “do you ever want kids?”

#! he was silent as he thought about what to say to you

#! “i don’t if they’re just gonna turn out like those dicks from today.” his answer wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously, he just hoped you didn’t interpret that as him saying he doesn’t want kids at all

#! “so if they don’t?”

#! “.......sure.”

#! you noticed his hesitation before he gave you an answer, trying to ignore it so your brain didn’t start analyzing too much

#! “hm, ok. goodnight, haji.”

#! “goodnight, i love you.”

#! “love you too.”

#! you told yourself that you were gonna reveal the news to him that night, but seeing that he was worked up over those kids and his slight hesitation when he answered you made you change your mind at the last minute

#! you laid awake thinking about what to do while iwaizumi peacefully slept not knowing his hand was caressing his future child

#! a few days have passed and you were still thinking about when to tell him

#! should you just say it? how would you say it? “hey, i’m pregnant.” no, that’s too blunt. “what if i told you i’m pregnant?” eh. “i’m preggo!” maybe.

#! you both never brought up the topic about having kids again ever since that night

#! but what you didn’t know was how occupied iwaizumi’s mind has been ever since you popped that question

#! he’s been imagining what it would be like to have a little him running around the house, maybe he’s a crybaby and dramatic like his uncle oikawa — who definitely would like to be the godfather, and he promises daily facetime calls everyday despite iwaizumi’s obvious displeasure — or perhaps he also finds entertainment in the godzilla franchise like his father

#! iwa thinks it would be neat to sometimes watch godzilla with someone else besides you, preferably his own kid

#! the night you asked him that question, it took him a while to answer because he couldn’t believe what he just heard. getting lost in his thoughts, he didn’t realize he forgot to answer you, giving you a quick, “sure.” once he came back to reality

#! you didn’t know this so you took his moment of silence as a sign of hesitation

#! the minor miscommunication causing you both to go into your own heads

#! you were currently looking in the full body mirror, observing the way your stomach looked and how much it’ll be changing soon to accommodate a living being inside you. your hands were moving around, curving itself against your stomach naturally when iwaizumi walked in on you

#! “babe, have you seen my hoodie? the black one, i think you were wearing it-,” his sentence cut off when he looked up from his phone

#! “what are you doing?” he asked seeing you pull your shirt back down

#! “looking at my stomach.”

#! “why? are you okay?” his voice softened at the second question wondering if you were feeling bad about yourself

#! “uh no, wait- yes, yea i’m okay. um, can i tell you something?”

#! before he could answer, you continued, “well, by tell i mean show. i have something to show you.”

#! “uh, yes? why are you so nervous?”

#! “ok, wait here.”

#! “babe-,” and you ran off leaving iwaizumi and the rest of his sentence in the room. a few seconds later, you came back holding something in your hand

#! “here.” grabbing his thick fingers to open his palm before stuffing the item into it. his eyebrows furrowed and he slowly unravels the piece of paper. you analyzed his face for any signs of anger or discontent while his eyes scanned the pictures from one corner to another

#! “w-what is..... you’re pregnant?” he whispered out, mind and body in shock as he stares at you wide-eyed

#! you nodded knowing that if you opened your mouth to talk you were probably going to cry. he falls onto the bed, sitting at the edge, then buries his head into his hands

#! “haji?” your voice lower than a whisper

#! he didn’t answer

#! but you saw it

#! you saw his shoulders starting to shake

#! “haj?” you tried again, this time lightly walking towards him

#! his cries became audible when he felt your smaller hands wrapping around his shoulders

#! “hey.. why are you crying?” you tried comforting him because it didn’t seem like his tears were going to stop any time soon

#! “shit, yn, fuck me.” he said through his cries

#! “oh?”

#! he rolled his eyes at your implying tone before grabbing you by the waist to lay his head on your chest. his breath staggered from crying, he was still crying just not as hard

#! one of your hand gently going through his hair while the other one rubs his back. the action soothing him enough to calm him down and eventually his tears stopped. “why didn’t you tell me?” his voice pouty and his sentence breaking between every other word

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids. i was scared.”

#! he raises his head so his chin is now resting on your chest, “why’d you think that?”

#! “you.. hesitated... when i asked you, remember?”

#! his eyes drifting to the side as he tries to think back on the last few days. you knew he remembered when his eyes slightly widened and his lips formed a small o, “i’m sorry, the question made me imagine things and i got lost in my train of thoughts that i forgot to answer you right away.”

#! “oh.”

#! “yea..”

#! “then, i’m sorry for assuming things and not telling you.”

#! “no, it’s not your fault.”

#! “it’s not yours either.”

#! “so.. truce?”

#! “idiot! why are we making a truce?!”

#! he giggles as he stuffs his face back into your chest but not before he bent down to give your stomach a loving kiss

ATSUMU

#! atsumu was huffing with his arms crossed across his chest, lip in a pout and eyes squinted as he focuses on the television in front of him

#! “stupid ‘samu and his stupid food. i don’t need it. if he doesn’t want to give me any, then i don’t need it. i can make my own food. stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid.” he childishly mumbled under his breath as his eyes squinted even more, shooting his glare directly at the television

#! “‘tsumu, can you come help me with this?” a voice called from the bedroom. your voice. his beautiful, lovely, awesome sweetheart

#! “c’ming.” he mumbles, slowly sliding off of the couch to trudge over to you

#! “hmm?” he hummed when he got to the entryway of your shared bedroom

#! “can you hold this up a bit, i need to get something in here.” you were in the walk-in closet organizing some things

#! he was happy to help, but you could tell from the way he was pouting and his eyebrows still furrowed that something was bothering him

#! you sighed, “what’s wrong?”

#! “nothin’.”

#! “‘tsumu....,” you gave him a knowing look

#! he was gonna have to tell you at some point, “‘samu, that food hogging pig!”

#! “oh, hey! don’t call him that! it’s mean.”

#! “dun care, his fault for not sharing. our mom taught us better than that.”

#! “you don’t share, get off his back.”

#! “i do!! why are ya siding with him?! i’m yer boyfriend! yer sweet, loving, ethereal boyfriend!”

#! you raised an eyebrow at the way he described himself, “y’sure ‘bout that?”

#! his mouth opens as if he was going to gasp but no sound came out, he just pretended to faint

#! “oh no, did you die?”

#! no answer

#! “about time, thought i was gonna have to endure it for a few more years.”

#! “hey!!” he bounced back up when he heard you say that ridiculously offensive comment

#! “fine, i’ll leave then. don’t come running back to me when ya miss yer oh so handsome future husband.”

#! you snorted before going back to organizing the closet, “hold this for me, please.”

#! he groaned from the back of his throat but went over to help you anyway

#! recently, the twins’ mom gave you guys some boxes of clothes she had put away for some time. not wanting to throw them away, she gave it to you guys and osamu to take whatever you could

#! while looking through the boxes, you dug up some baby clothes that belonged to atsumu

#! “oh my god.”

#! he swings his head over to look at you, “what? hey! that’s mine!”

#! “it’s so ugly.”

#! “i’m telling my mom you said that. she’s gonna hate you sooooo much.”

#! “‘tsum, she set you up.”

#! he faked a wail and then turned back around to ignore you

#! “y’think we can keep some?”

#! “what for?”

#! “i don’t know..what if we have kids later?”

#! “that sounds nice...but we might have twins. i don’t want that.”

#! “huh? you can’t control who and how many we get, ‘tsumu.”

#! “then, let’s not risk it!”

#! “so, you don’t want kids?”

#! “precisely, yah.”

#! you stared incredulously at him while he continued sorting through stuff like he didn’t just tell you he made up his mind on not wanting kids

#! you found out two days ago that you’re pregnant, not yet telling atsumu because you just couldn’t find the right time to sit him down and talk

#! you didn’t expect to find out now that he for sure didn’t want kids. you guys talked about it a few times throughout the years of being together, but he never gave a definite answer

#! it was usually just him teasing you, or he was running around the answer. you never pushed him to answer, you didn’t want to pressure him or anything of that sort

#! “good to know, i’ll keep that in mind.” you mumbled, distracting yourself with folding the clothes

#! atsumu gave you a hum to acknowledge your words. no one says anything after that

#! a few days passed and the topic wasn’t brought up again. you secretly stashed some of the baby clothes while cleaning, the baby was gonna come at some point whether atsumu wanted it or not

#! but what you didn’t know was that he kept a stash of the baby clothes as well. he cleared out a space in his sock drawers by stuffing everything to one side, placing a stack of clothes inside because deep down he knew that there was going to be a mini him one day

#! it was currently morning, you both having the day off so you slept in. your back was curved to mold against his well defined chest while you slept. atsumu was snoring but you learned to block it out over time (he claimed you snore as well, but was never successful on proving it)

#! your eyes shot open, feeling the familiar bile crawling up your throat threatening to come out without your permission

#! quickly throwing the arm that was wrapped around you off, you ran towards the connected bathroom

#! your disappearance making atsumu’s sleepy eyes blink open, “babe? it’s still early.” his rough morning voice whispering out because it wasn’t capable of being louder than that in the morning

#! he heard the gagging noises from the restroom, eyes shooting wide awake in concern. he trips over the comforter trying to get out of bed, hurriedly running to you

#! atsumu acted fast and was holding your hair back, warm palms rubbing circles on your back. he wasn’t sure what to say, choosing to stay silent until you were finished

#! you wiped your mouth with the back of your palm, gasping for air over the toilet seat, reaching out to hold the hand that was on your back, you whispered out an, “i’m pregnant.”

#! initially he didn’t hear you, but once he heard it in his head he gasped. “how long?”

#! “not sure, almost a month?” your voice rough from throwing up

#! atsumu was confused. eyes darting everywhere, not really sure where to exactly focus on. his mind was racing, trying to think of why he didn’t know anything for so long, “ya didn’t tell me?”

#! “how could i when you said you don’t want kids?”

#! “i’m...oh..sorry, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean for it to be taken too seriously. i only said that because of the thing with ‘samu so i thought ya could tell it was a joke.”

#! “no ‘tsumu, i couldn’t. i was already pregnant at that point and hearing you say that about having kids really affected me. i didn’t know how to tell you after you specifically said to not risk anything, how was i suppose to know it was meant to be a joke?” your voice still groggy and tears were building up in your eyes.

#! he lightly sighs then brings his hand up to cup your head, rubbing it to calm you down. “i’m so sorry, angel. i do want kids, specifically with ya. what i said was a bit dicky, but i was just being immature, i promise. i won’t joke about serious things like that again, i’m sorry.”

#! you sniffed and brought his hand up to kiss him on the palm, but he quickly yanked it away making you look up at him in shock. “ya just threw up.” he pointed to the toilet.

#! you laughed at that and quickly apologized, he carried you up so you both can stand up from the bathroom floor. atsumu gently washing your hands and around your mouth, then you swishing some water in your mouth to get rid of the throw up aftertaste

#! “wanna know a secret, babe?” he blurted out while helping you walk back to the bed

#! “what?”

#! “i kept some of the baby clothes.” a shy smile on his face as he winks at you from the side

KAGEYAMA

#! you’ve been feeling a bit sluggish lately, you weren’t sure why because it came out of nowhere

#! you decided to ignore it, but as time passes, you didn’t get any better and you even started to throw up

#! thinking back to the talk your mom gave you when you were 10, you went out to buy some pregnancy tests

#! the timeline made sense, the last time you both had sex was a few weeks ago

#! kageyama’s been caught up with practice, you were stressed, so naturally you both thought it was a good idea to let it out

#! but what you didn’t expect was having to buy pregnancy tests because there was a possibility you’re pregnant

#! granted there wasn’t any protection used and you stopped taking your pills a while ago because you guys just didn’t care anymore, so nevermind, you do see how you could be pregnant

#! but damn, one time. all it took was one time

#! shaking your head, you took your phone out to text kageyama

#! you’re not telling him over text, just letting him know you have something to tell him tonight so he can know to prepare for a talk

#! you: tobiii

#! you: i have something to tell you

#! you: tonight tho

#! you: after you come home

#! him: ok love

#! while waiting for him to come home, you lazed around and scrolled through social media for a bit. checking twitter, you were reading some tweets from kageyama’s fans, finding some funny, some adorable, and some just...weird

#! but one tweet you saw was from someone who had met kageyama at one of his previous games. the person was talking about their experience getting to meet him and they even wrote out a part of the conversation they had with kageyama

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: omfg i just met kageyama fucking tobiiosdfjdf

#! it was a thread so you clicked on it to continue reading

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he’s so sighs dreamily

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so fucking tall. i’m 5′3 and mans all the way up there 👆

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: OH OMH wait lemme type out one part of our convo omfg i think he has a partner?????? like an actual s/o guys not me

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok i asked him smtg along the lines of what he thought abt having so many fans who are children ykk bc i was thinking he knew i was implying that these kids look up to him and stuff

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: but this man.....is so...UNAWARE why is he like this but he said smtg like he doesnt understand how kids can be fans of him bc how can they understand professional volleyball like that and i was like ???mf didn’t u grow up playing vball

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: so i was like oh ok :D and then asked him abt his thoughts on his future kids following in his footsteps bc i was thinking his answer would be wholesome or some shit

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: he told me,,,,, i dont have kids and i dont want any... !!!! why does mr kagman not want kids w me :(( /j

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: ok so like all of this happened v quickly i was like in and out in 10 seconds lmao but WAIT after he said he doesnt want kids i saw him scrunching his face up

#! kageyama’s gf (real) @K4G3B10 tweeted: im not mind reader nor body language reader but idk he looked .. hrm sad?? FUCK IDK DONT TAKE M E SERIOUSLY IM DELUSIONAL

#! being an adult, you knew you shouldn’t be taking twitter threads of his teenage fans too seriously but you couldn’t help but reread the part where he said he didn’t want kids

#! did he actually say that or is this person rewording what he said? you now realized how you guys never really talked about having kids

#! sure, it was brought up once or twice but it was just because you were having baby fever. kageyama himself never directly told you he wanted kids or he was fine with having kids of his own

#! you sighed to yourself as you lock your phone, closing your eyes to take a nap until kageyama comes home

#! you felt yourself being shaken awake lightly, a familiar presence hovering over you on the couch made you open an eye

#! “tobio?”

#! “who else would it be?”

#! “i don’t know, a murderer?”

#! he scoffs at the slim chance of a someone breaking in to hurt you, but quickly turned his attention back to you when he remembered you wanted to talk

#! “so what’d you wanted to tell me?”

#! “oh, can you sit down?”

#! “o..kay?” he stiffly walked to sit beside you on the couch

#! “i’m uh,” think of something, “honestly, i forgot. yea, i forgot what i was gonna tell you. sorry.”

#! he raises one eyebrow to gaze at you curiously

#! “are you sure? it sounded important when you texted me.”

#! “mhm! yup, i forgot. sorry if i worried you, heh, are you hungry? there’s leftovers we can heat up.” you quickly tried to change the subject, getting up to walk to the kitchen

#! luckily your boyfriend didn’t question it further and got up to trail right behind you

#! you figured giving yourself some time before telling him after what you read was a good idea

#! are you aware that you were overthinking some tweet by a stranger on the app that is twitter? yes, you were. but you’re also human and overthinking is in human’s nature

#! it’s been three weeks and you still haven’t told kageyama the news. a part of you was ready to tell him, just let him know and you guys talk it out, what’s the worst that could happen

#! but the other part of you was scared. scared he actually didn’t want kids. scared he was going to leave you because going through with the pregnancy would drag him down. scared he would get mad at you for not being more careful when he was equally at fault

#! you know how kageyama gets when his emotions get complicated, he can’t deal with it so his one outlet is anger

#! he has no filter and says whatever comes to mind, all logical thinking leaving his brain

#! and that part of you is the stronger one

#! obviously you were going to tell him at some point, it’s not like you can literally hide the growing baby inside you

#! just not yet, not until you’re ready

#! you’re currently a little over a month, bump not really showing, but it’s there and it’s growing

#! kageyama can be a bit dim when it comes to.. most things beside volleyball, and usually you tease him about it but for once you thank whatever god is out there that he hasn’t noticed any big changes on your body yet

#! that was until you were showering, and he made the decision to enter the shower with you without your knowledge

#! humming to yourself while scrubbing your arms, you scooted back away from the water so it wouldn’t wash off the body wash you were trying to use

#! the action causing you to lightly hit kageyama’s chest making you jump from where you were standing

#! “tobio!” you screamed, turning around to throw the foamed body wash at him

#! he chuckles at your surprised expression and didn’t mind the soap you threw onto him, which was now sticking to his defined chest

#! “why were you just standing there, creep?”

#! he was still giggling when he answered you, “did i scare you this time?”

#! “what do you think?” you lightheartedly roll your eyes before going back to scrubbing your body

#! he picked the loofah out of your hand to continue for you

#! you both enjoyed the relaxing sound of running water and quiet echoed hums as he takes his time washing you when he suddenly stopped

#! opening your eyes, you looked up at him, “what’s wrong?”

#! he was just staring at you, blinking very slowly

#! “why do you look- your stomach feels- you look very-,” he sighs, “you look pregnant.”

#! now it was your turn to blink at him

#! you totally forgot that you were naked at the moment and he could easily see every inch of your body

#! blinking once more, you took a deep breath before telling him, “that’s ‘cuz i am.”

#! “y-you are?!” he jumped from his spot

#! “yea.. do you have a problem with that?”

#! “i...why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “do you have a problem with that?” you repeated

#! “n-no..so why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “you’re not mad?”

#! “why would i...?” his voice slightly turning high pitched as he dragged the i out

#! “i thought you didn’t want kids.”

#! “who told you that? when did i say that?”

#! “twitter.” you murmured under your breath

#! “what?”

#! “twitter..” you said a bit louder, still murmuring and choosing to turn away from him

#! “twitter?! why didn’t you just tell me, your real life boyfriend?”

#! “because!.... i was scared.”

#! “s-scared? baby, why?”

#! “i was scared you were going to leave. i don’t want you to leave. that night i told you i had something to tell you, that was when i found out. i backed out when you came home and i’m sorry. i should’ve just told you, i’m sorry, tobio-,” you were crying at this point, both of you standing under the water

#! “shh, shh, it’s okay. i’m sorry for not noticing earlier. you’re alright, babe. it’s okay. it’s okay to not feel ready, you don’t have to feel pressured to tell me anything, alright? whenever you’re ready, you tell me,” you meekly nodded as he pulls you into a hug, “whenever you’re ready..”

#! you both stood hugging each other’s bare body for a few minutes under the warm water

#! “that was probably the smartest thing you’ve ever said, tobi.” your voice sounding congested from the crying

#! “hey. mean.”

1K notes · View notes

strangelysamantha · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! Can I request a jj x reader where they’re dating but have a massive fight right before a kegger so they’re ignoring each other all night. And then during the party her drink gets spiked and jj and the others take her home and look after her. Then the next morning jj is crying and apologising for not looking out for her. Thanks

scared for you ☆

jj maybank x reader.

warnings: swearing, underage drinking, spiking of drinks, blacking out, verbal arguments.

words: 2,649.

summary: when a fight breaks out between you and jj, he can’t help but be petty and ignore you. this causes you to be left alone at a kegger.

request? yes, and my requests are still open!

a/n: hi hi hi, more stories coming tonight! thanks for the request, and if you enjoyed please like and comment! i appreciate it. they/them pronouns are used for the reader. <3

my masterlist

——————————————————————————

“jj, why are you so upset?” you questioned jj, and he hesitated, before finally speaking up. “really? why am i upset?” you nod, waiting for his response, but he doesn’t continue. you roll your eyes, “yes. why are you so upset?” you continue tying your shoes, preparing yourself for the kegger that already started thirty minutes ago. “i wasn’t that upset, but the fact you don’t even know why i’m mad just annoys me more.” he looks away from you, avoiding eye contact. you look up at him. “are you serious? you can’t just tell me what i did?” he stays silent.

you finally stand up, standing in front of him. his eyes look down at you, “i’m upset because you blew me off, claiming you had a family issue.” you frown. “j, i did have a family issue.” he shakes his head as if to say he didn’t believe you. “you really don’t trust or believe me?” he shrugs. “no i don’t fucking trust you, especially after all the shit you’ve done.”

“are you fucking kidding me? it really was a family issue. i should be the one upset here since you don’t even believe me.” he crosses his arms together. “you believe you should be the one upset?” he questions. you scoff, “yes! you don’t believe me, and you are blowing this whole situation up.” you try to continue but he interrupts you, “i’m not blowing anything up, stop acting like this is all on me. god, you are the one being secretive and shit.” you frown, “instead of automatically getting angry, why don’t you talk to me about it?” he shakes his head. jj storms off not answering you, the door slamming shut behind him.

you sit in silence, trying to even understand what had just happened since it all happened so fast. you contemplate going to the kegger alone, finally deciding to go. you assumed that jj would be going, and you thought it would be best to try and go so you could fix what just happened as soon as possible.

jj had left you, and he took the car. luckily, the beach wasn’t too far, and you could easily walk. you walked for about five minutes before you arrived. you eagerly search around, trying to find any familiar faces but you fall short. you didn’t recognize anyone around you. you approach the party closer, having people occasionally greet you, but none you were genuinely close too.

you see jj hanging out with john b and pope. you smile softly, glad that he was here instead of doing something reckless. you look over at him, and he looks at you, before immediately redirecting his eyes. jj had made a vow to himself that he would ignore you tonight. he didn’t want to blow up on you, but the biggest reason was he just didn’t want to talk to you anymore. you frown at the realization. since jj was ignoring you, you decided to do the same. you walk towards a small group of people, randomly introducing yourself.

they applaud you on your boldness, immediately letting you inside their small group. “so what are you up to?” a guy with brunette hair smirked at you. you smile, “i’m just here.” you shrug, not entirely sure what you were actually doing at a kegger, practically alone. usually if you went somewhere where you had no one to hang out with, you would leave. today was different though. you avoided looking at jj, and jj did the same. his eyes never even looked your way, too focused on john b’s lame attempts of trying to flirt with sarah.

the group you settled yourself into was slowly dying down. one girl in particular decided she had enough and headed home, her girlfriend going with her. the other two guys left, going farther down the beach to play football. that left you alone with the brunette guy, and his best friend. you hadn’t drank anything, not wanting to have a horrible hangover.

“are you sure you don’t want us to get you a drink? i mean, it would seriously loosen you up, and you could possibly get your mind off your current issues.” the brunette smiled, you had actually become his acquaintance. you bite your lip slightly, thinking. “i mean sure. why not.” you laugh slightly and he chuckles, “right on. i’ll be back.” you nod, watching him walk away.

his other friend smiled down at you, “are you from around here?” you nod. “yeah, what about you?” he smiles, “just here for a trip. we are actually heading back home tomorrow morning.” you frown. “ah, that sucks. did you enjoy your time here?” you ask, making conversation. he nods. “pretty fun town. the water was the best part. the ocean view was always so beautiful.” you nod at his response, silence falling over the two of you.

his friend came back, three solo cups in his hand. “cheers, to your guys on the last day.” you take the red solo, clinging it with theirs. “cheers.” they say together. you bring the drink to your lips, swallowing it. “it was so-.” your mind became clouded, and you couldn’t even think about what you were trying to say. “guys?” your eyes widened as your voice felt hoarse. your mind felt empty, and confusion washed over you. before you knew it, your eyes were closing, and your body began to feel limp and light. the last thing you heard were the two boys laughing. “too easy.”

the boys held you up, grabbing you by the waist. whispering amongst themselves while they carried you to their car. before they even made it halfway, john b stopped them. “what are you two doing?” he stared at you, limp in his arms. his heart hurt seeing you like this. he stared as they stood in front of him, silent. pope joined john b, “what is going on?” popes eyes set on you, anger boiling inside of him. “oh you know man, just had too much to drink.” john b shakes his head. “no. we know them. they hardly ever drink.” the boys raise their eyebrows, “is that so?” john b nods, walking towards them. “who even are you? never seen you before. and since i don’t know you, that leads me to believe that they don’t know you either.” the boys glanced at each other for a moment. “your right. we don’t know them.” they swiftly push you into john b, john b falling back at the sudden movement.

the culprits ran towards their car, hopping in and driving off. john b held you up, pope joining in, making it easier to lift you. john b looked at pope, pope already thinking the same thing. “how the hell are we going to tell jj?” pope shook his head. “let’s just get them back to your house. then we can think of ways to break the news to jj.” john b nodded in agreement. john b and pope carried you to the twinkie, pope getting in the front seat, john b held you close to make sure you still had a pulse and they hadn’t done anything yet. “they are knocked out for sure.” john b spoke up.

“it’ll be a few hours before they even have a chance of waking up.” john b frowns, he just wanted you to wake up now so he knew you were actually okay. once pope had made it to john b’s house, the two of them carried you inside, placing you on jj’s bed. you laid limp on the bed, the two boys watching you in horror. “shit! reposition them! that looks so uncomfortable!” pope scrambled to the bed, immediately straightening you out. he took your shoes off, placing them at the end of the bed. pope took the blankets, tucking you inside the bed.

“are you ready pope?” john b looked at pope, seeing his eyes widened. “what do you mean, are you ready pope?! i’m not calling jj!” pope glanced at john b, bewildered. john b rolled his eyes. “fine but i’m putting it on speaker.” pope nods, patiently waiting for john b to grab his phone.

john b dials jj’s number. it rings twice before jj answers. “yo john b! what’s up.” john b frowns. “jj, you know how you left the party?” pope sighs while he watches this whole situation unravel. “yeah, i wanted to get out of there. i couldn’t stand watching everything, well y'know.” jj laughed, “so glad i left though. i’m doing good.” pope interrupted him. “john b! just tell him already.” jj stopped, “pope? tell me what?” jj held his breath, waiting. his mind was spiraling with every bad thing that could have happened.

“uhm. jj it’s bad. pope and i, we were at the beach. we noticed these two boys… and they drugged-.” before john b could even say your name, jj cut him off. “no.” pope rolled his eyes, seeing jj immediately shut john b down. “no, guys. this isn’t funny. you can’t say this shit as an attempt for me to come home.” john b groaned, slamming his hand on the kitchen table. “jj! will you stop with the shit! this isn’t a joke bro. that would be fucked up.” jjs breath gets caught in his own throat. “you mean…?” john b frowns, “yeah.” jj immediately hangs up, getting ready to go to john b’s house.

when jj arrives, john b and pope give him the rundown on what had happened. they decided to wait to invite kiara, since she had to work. jj slowly walked to his room, scared of what he would see. when he saw you, passed out on his bed, his heart shriveled up. water glistened in his eyes. he couldn’t help but blame himself. he wasn’t there for you. he didn’t protect and watch after you.

he immediately leaves the room, pulling pope and john b into a hug. “thank you. thank you for protecting them when i couldn’t.” john b frowned. “jj- you can’t put this on yourself.” pope nodded. “how could you have known?” jj shakes his head. “i should have been there, i should have stayed.” john b smacks him on the side of his head. “get your shit together jj.” jjs mouth opens in shock. “this isn’t the time for you to spiral. you need to go in there. wait for them to wake up, and you need to make sure they are okay.” jj nods, heading to his room.

jj hated seeing you like this. he sat on a chair in the corner of his room. occasionally checking your pulse to make sure you were still with him. he prepared you water, and was already thinking of what he should make you for breakfast. at around four am, jj had fallen asleep. he didn’t mean to, in fact he wanted to stay awake so he could be there for you when you woke up.

jj woke up at seven am, he immediately looked over at you, seeing you in the same position, and still asleep. his heart hurt. john b and pope weren’t there to ground him, so his thoughts took over. how could he leave you alone? how could he even let this happen? why was he fighting with you in the first place? was it really worth it? these questions continued to invade his mind. he couldn’t hold back the tears as he was silently sobbing in the corner of the room.

the outer banks sun was shining through jj’s thin window curtains. you stirred, waking up. when you were fully awake, you heard faint crying. this caused you to turn your head to see what was going on. “jj?” you frown, seeing him in such a distressed state. you immediately sit up, and become light headed. you didn’t know exactly what had happened. the last place you remembered you had been was at the beach, but somehow you woke up in jj’s bed. you smile, hopeful that jj wasn’t mad at you anymore.

“jj?” you say once more, louder so he could hear you. his head turns towards you. his face was stained with tears, his hair wild as you assumed he ran his hands through it multiple times. before you could ask any questions, he’s already bombarding you. “are you okay? do you remember anything?” you shake your head, your mind going back to last night. “the last thing i remember is going to a kegger, and meeting a group of people because you were ignoring me.”

he stayed silent. he was right. he was the reason, he- “jj? what’s on your mind? was it your dad again?” you frown. your arm reaches out to cup his face. he pulls you into a hug. “no. not my dad. last night… uh.” he pulled away, giving you some space. “last night you were drugged.” your eyes widened. “what?” the tears began to fall from his eyes once again. “look. i’m so sorry. i should have been there for you. i could have prevented this. i’m so sorry. i didn’t want this to happen to you. if only i had stayed, if i was there i would have punched those two guys in the jaw.” his eyes shut, you take your hand to wipe away his tears.

“jj. it’s okay. nothing happened to me, did it?” you wait, slightly scared at what his response would be. “no. nothing happened, john b and pope saved you in time.” you nod, relieved. “jj. i’m okay. nothing happened to me, please. john b and pope saved me. it's not something you should work yourself up about.” he slowly nods, not entirely agreeing. you open your arms, hugging him. “okay. i was really scared for you.” you frown at his words. “jj-,” he cuts you off. “i just… i can’t stop thinking about what would have happened if john b and pope weren’t there.” you shake your head. “you can’t think about that. jj, im here. i'm fine, we are okay. we shouldn’t think about the past, it’ll only make matters worse.”

he listens, a frown still hung on his lips. “okay. well i want to make you a special breakfast!” your eyebrows lift at jj, “you?” he smiles, and you continue. “you want to make breakfast?” he nods, “yes!” you stare at him, “okay. sure.” you get entirely out of bed, his hand immediately finding your waist to ensure you were steady. “first let's get you changed.” he pulls a t-shirt of his from his closet, and a pair of shorts you’ve left over. he hands you the clothes before turning around to let you change.

you put the outfit on, handing him your outfit from yesterday. he puts them in the dirty laundry hamper, walking you to the kitchen. you watch amused, seeing jj pull out a bunch of different ingredients and spices. “what are you trying to make?” he turns around, shocked that you even have to ask him. “duh, i’m making us pancakes.” he smiles up at you, as he holds the carton of milk. “oh right. okay. i’ll let you do that then.” john b walks out of his room, joining the two of you in the kitchen.

“why are you guys so loud when it’s literally eight in the morning?” you laugh, “hey!” you call out to him and he jumps at your loud voice. “what?” you stand up, pulling him into a hug. “thank you.” he smiles. “i’m glad you are okay. we are always going to be by your side, regardless if we are all fighting or not.” you nod. your attention from john b shifts to jj, seeing him as he is dancing around the kitchen with a bowl in his hand. “oh. jj is cooking?” john b smiled, “this will be good.” you nod in agreement, “definitely.”

#jj maybank #jj maybank obx #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank story #jj maybank x reader angst #jj maybank angst #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x gn!reader #gender neutral reader #gender neutral imagine #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks one shot #jj maybank one shot #jj #maybank #jj maybank outerbanks #jj maybank outer banks

1K notes · View notes

spacecatbowtie · 3 years ago

Text

The Chemist - Din/Reader - Chapter 2

chapter 1

Rating: EXPLICIT!! 18+

Warnings: Dubious consent / Manhandling / swearing

Tags: Glove kink / helmet kink / hunter x prey kink / a lotta kinks / but Mando actually just needs a hug / FEELS

(feedback is much appreciated <3 )

Chapter 2 - Guilt

Then I bite his hand. Hard. He grunts and steps back

"WHAT THE HELL. You filthy whore!" He reaches for me again. "You are going to regret doing that.." But I had grabbed the taser sniper that he stupidly dropped next to him. I put it to his leg and fire. Immediately, his body tenses and starts to spasm, the blue electricity making its way across his armour and body. Then I let go. I did not want to kill him.

Although the source of the shock had stopped, his body still shakes.

And then it's silent. He did not move anymore, the sounds of pain he made had stopped. Time seems to stand still.

What had I done? Please don't be dead. Maybe I should just let him do what he wanted. It was to blame on the hormones the chemist gave him. He couldn't help it. And if I could have helped him by giving him what that stuff made him want, I should have done it. He wasn't going to kill me; it was something numerous people do. In this case, it’s just not out of love, but that does not make it different. It just makes it less personal. Which is a good thing, I tell myself.

But would he be able to live with the guilt? Like the chemist had said, it would hunt him for the rest of his life. Even if I were to tell him afterwards that it was okay, that I did not mind. He's sweet like that. He would not believe me and would never look me in the eyes again. He would have wanted me to stop him like I did now.

Without knowing how long the hormones will last, or without knowing how long he will stay unconscious, I'd better tie him up. It is what he would tell me to do.

Luckily, with him being a bounty hunter and all, he has sufficient tools to tie someone up. I find cuffs and rope.

Better safe than sorry.

After tying his wrist in front of him, I make sure to tie him to one of the thick pipes that lead from the ceiling to the floor. Across from him on the other side of the hanger, I wait for him to wake. With the sniper safely next to me.

A few hours later, a low moan and a metallic sound wakes me up. I’d fallen asleep with my head on my knees. I lift my head. Mando seems to wake up.

When he tries to turn on his side, the restraints stop him. At that he groans. He still looks pretty out of it.

"Mando?" I call for him. I want him to be okay, but at the same time I am scared to confront him. My head turns red at the thought of what we did yesterday, and the things he said to me.

"My head.." he groans. "Hurts.."

Worry fills me, but I do not dare come closer.

Slowly he sits up a little straighter. Confused, he looks at his bound arms. Inspecting.

I watch him silently. He seems slow with his movement and thoughts. Is he still under the influence of the hormones? Is he his normal self again?

With a shaky voice, I call his name again. 'Mando.. how do you feel?' Is the only thing I manage to ask. Despite having many more questions.

When he hears my voice, his head snaps in my direction. "What is going..o-."

It then seems to hit him. Everything that had happened. Everything he had done. Everything he had said. He sits frozen, before suddenly yanking back his whole body, trying to get away from me.

Now it’s his voice that's is shaky. "I..no.. I'm.. you.." He stammers. He sounds like he is about to cry.

At least it seems he is back to his senses again. I'm less scared to approach him now.

I stand up. "Let me untie you" I say, a little uncomfortable. I don't know why, but I’m shy all of a sudden. Not scared anymore at all.

"No." he states. "Don't come any closer."

With his legs he shoves himself more to the wall, away from me.

"Don't worry Mando, you are yourself again, you won’t do anything anymore." I slowly walk towards him. "I have to untie you sometime, can't keep sitting there forever" I try to joke to make the situation lighter.

With a thud his head falls back against the wall, then he turns his head away from me. I notice that his breaths are fast, not rhythmically. He is panicking.

I try to untie him carefully in a soothing way. First the many knots in the rope and then I click the cuffs open.

Immediately he stands up and slips past me. I grab his arm. "It's okay, let’s just talk."

He pulls away from me. "Don’t touch me!" He sneers and turns from me, striding to the ladder.

"No, look I know you did not mean it; I know that it was that stuff the chemist gave you that made you act that way. I know you feel guilty, but please don't be."

He does not react and climbs the ladder before disappearing in the cockpit. The hatch slams shut behind him and I hear him lock it. I sigh. Maybe it’s good to let him think by himself for a while.

I decide to take a small walk outside, to give him more privacy, and for me to think too. I leave a note for him in the middle of the floor of the hangar.

It says.

Taking a walk did me good. It calmed my mind.

I would just explain how I felt. I just have to make him understand that it is okay. It was intense and scary in a way, but it is in the past now. And it was out of his control, he could not help it.

I approach the location of the ship again, or at least where the ship used to stand.

"Are you actually kidding me!"

That bastard has left! After what happened!

I stop at the now empty lot. The long grass is still flat on the places where the landing feet had stood. I let myself fall to my knees. How could he?

A white piece of paper catches my eye. It's the note I had written, but now It said something underneath.

I pick it up, shaking with anger. Underneath the note lies a pouch full of credits.

-- two months later --

I take another sip of my cocktail. It's good, but does nothing to improve my mood.

With a frown I look around the tavern. It's full. There are groups of friends playing drinking games, there are pairs of creatures who are - by the looks of it, probably on a date, there are lonely drunks.

And there is me. Not drunk. Not yet, anyway.

"Another one of these please!" I yell at the waitress. I smack one of the last credits he had given me on the table for the waitress to collect when she had brought the drink.

Most of the credits had gone to the transport last week. I'd had enough of that forsaken planet where he left me. I had stayed there in a hotel in the village close by. And every day I took the walk back to the place his ship stood once. Every day in the beginning at least, the more the weeks passed the less I went. Until I'd had enough and left that planet.

I will never see him again. I have accepted that.

Now I am here on a big planet full of sand and a city full of garbage in a tavern full of stupid people.

Someone new entered. Which is not unusual, but he stands out.

First my heart skipped a beat, but then I realize it isn't the person I've been wanting to see so badly.

It is a Mandalorian. But his armour differs from the man I once knew.. And loved.. Wait, what? I love him?

I bury my head in my arms on the table when I realize. Even if I'm furious that that bastard left. I want some kind of revenge. Some kind of way to get rid of this feeling.

With my head buried in my arms, feeling miserable, I hear someone come closer and take a seat at the table next to me. Where, until now, no one dared to sit, because I had looked at everyone who came close with a death stare.

From under my arm, I see a shiny metal calf. It was that Mandalorian.

I huff. "What is a Mando doing here, you can’t drink without taking off your helmet. Just here to watch the half-naked, half-drunk girls?" My voice is clearly judging.

It takes a few seconds for him to answer.

"Waiting for someone."

His modulated voice sounds just like the one I was familiar with. The helmet must make all their voices sound the same.

Out of pure boredom, I start talking to him. "You know, you look like someone I knew formerly. The armour is different though, yours looks better."

He does not react. A sigh escapes me. Talking to this shiny wall of metal was rather conforming. "I loved him, you know; Still do as a matter of fact."

The Mandalorian next to me lets out an uninterested hum.

"But he left me, without saying a word. He just left a stupid note" I mumble, burying my head deeper in my arms, as if hiding from the world would lessen the pain in my heart.

No further response from the shiny man. "Something had happened you see, something that he did, but also didn't do. It wasn't his fault. And I had to stop him. Not because I wanted him to stop, but because I knew he would regret it." I ramble on.

"And he left me before I could explain. I hate him for it. I hate him so much. But I also love him. So much."

I feel bold, not caring about a single thing anymore. I sit straight up now, facing him. "I want to close that chapter of my life, to finish what he started once. And I think the only way to do that is if I did this. With you. Because err- you look like him you know."

He just keeps still like a statue facing me, looking at me. It makes me shy. "So, do you want me tonight...? Just a one-time thing...? No consequences...?" I keep stammering while he still does not move.

"Um, so I have a room here. Room 274" I stand up. Feeling ashamed. I cannot see his face, so I don't know if he is interested or thinks I'm stupid. "Come by if you want."

I squeeze between his table and mine. "Just knock." My face turns red. "Okay. So. Bye." Quickly I walk away without looking back.

After the door of my room closes behind me, I can breathe normally again.

What the fuck did I think! Did I really think a random person would want me? After my emotional rant about someone else?

I let myself fall face-first into the bed.

He even told me he was waiting for someone! Of course he is not going to come with me. He has things planned, things to do. I grunt into the mattress. I just won’t come out of this room for a month.

Climbing fully into the bed, I discard of my clothes, only leaving the baggy under shirt and underwear on. I cover myself with the rough woollen blanket.

Then a knock. I don't move.

Then another.

Did he come after all? Slumping out of bed, I reach for the door and open it a crack.

It is him. I open the door further to let him in.

"Okay, so you wanna do this?" I ask as I close the door behind him.

He steps towards me. And then does something I did not expect. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me.

"Eh okay yes we could start with this." Awkwardly, I return the hug and pat his back.

This is more awkward than if he were to come up and start undressing me.

Then he whispers softly against my ear. "I also left you credits, not just a stupid note."

"What?"

"When I abandoned you. I also left a substantial amount of credits for you, Not just the note. You forgot to mention that." I can hear the smirk in his voice.

Then it hits me. And I hit him.

I start punching and kicking against any place on his body I can reach. "Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me. You fucker."

I try to push him back. He doesn't budge, the only thing it does is pushing me further from him. Fine, good enough. I turn around and practically rip the door open. But before I can exit the room to run, an arm reaches from behind and pushes the door closed again.

He keeps his hand there next to my head.

I scream at him in frustration. "You are such an infuriating prick, you know that?"

Turning around, I glare at him where I think his eyes are behind that visor of his.

"Yes. I know that. And I deserve worse."

I snort. "Yes indeed you fucking do." With a finger I poke in his chest plate. "Why did you leave?"

"I was a coward. I could not face you again. I did not want to see the fear in your eyes." With that, he looks away from my gaze.

"But I don't fear you!" I shout. "Yes, it was pretty scary when you acted differently from yourself. But that is not you. And it'll never happen again."

The Mandalorian now places his other hand on the other side of my head.

"But you see darling, that is the thing."

Shocked, I look up at him. It is the same thing he had said when he pinned me against the ladder in his ship, but this time his voice sounds strained and angry.

"It IS me; It IS me who wants this. What I said then wasn't a lie. Not a word of it."

One of his hands leaves the door and strokes my hair on the way to my cheek. Just like then, he held my chin with his thumb on my lower lip. "So tell me, darling..."

Then he surprised me by sliding his fingers down and folding his hand around my throat, squeezing softly.

"Are you still not afraid of me?"

My surprised look changes to anger again.

"I see what you are trying to do." I easily slap his hand away from me. "You are trying to make me scared of you, so it is me who leaves this time. So you don’t have to deal with me and our history. You really are a coward."

He flinches at my words. "You really did not want me to stop, back then?"

"No. Like I already told you, I stopped you because I knew you would regret it afterwards. Sorry for tasing you, by the way"

"You did what you needed to do, like I asked."

I notice the change of tone in his voice. He slowly takes one last step towards me, pinning me against the door. His hands back on the door again.

"You listened to me so well." He almost purrs.

Automatically, I bring my hands to his chest, the metal now warm with his body heat.

"No sassy response this time eh?" His hands touch my shoulders, slides down on my arms, then caresses my waist. Sliding his fingers up my shirt. Taking his time exploring the skin.

He goes higher and higher, above my belly button. My eyes close and I shiver. "You sure are a shivery girl, aren't you."

"Only with you.' I respond softly.

He buries his head in my hair against my shoulder.

"Such a good girl" This makes me let out an uncontrolled whimper. His hands creep higher. "You like it when I call you that, don't you."

I nod against the side of his helmet. He reaches the underside of my breasts. Caressing it softly.

"Wait until I touch you without the gloves."

I make an agreeing sound. He takes his hands from under my shirt and takes the gloves off, throwing them to the ground.

I look at his hands. So strong, long fingers, I want to touch them- but he is already cupping my face. "So beautiful."

He leans forward even more and softly presses his forehead to mine. It feels so intimate that my eyes close, and I moan. He takes this opportunity to force his thumb in my mouth.

“Be a good girl for me now”'

I moan again and close my lips around his digit, sliding my tongue around him. He tastes how he smells, woodsy and like the first rain in the spring. There is also a little taste of sweat, from him having his gloves on all day. I love the way he tastes like the smell of him when he returns after a long day searching for a bounty. It smells like him. A natural, almost unnoticeable smell.

He makes a low sound from the back of his throat when I suck harder and open my eyes to look up at him.

“Darling. What are you doing to me.” His husky voice was almost unintelligible. It makes me want more.

Crouching down on my knees, I start caressing the inside of his thighs, going up.

He hesitates. “Are you sure?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. I want you. I want you to do whatever you want to do to me. I want you to do the things you said to me two months ago when you had me pinned down.”

“'But-”

“And the hunt. When I had to run and hide from you. It excited me and wound me up so bad. The idea of you searching for me, the thought of what you would do when you found me. The thought of you having your way with me.” I realize I am rambling again and I blush.

“Sweet girl, if that is what you want.”

I nod furiously.

“I can arrange that. I'll hunt you down again some other time, but I'll do the rest right now.”

Again thank you for reading!! you can give feedback if u want <3

#din x oc #din djarin x reader #mando x reader #heavy mando smut

66 notes · View notes