#waiting...for 3 hours. how many more? we'll see by how much I'm gonna go insane and post more!

[mcyt-crack]

helep

[hunterbunter3000]

It was hard deciding which kneeling incident I wanted so I wrote all of them together lol (hell, maybe they all happened) pick which one is your favorite and let me know!

Shoutout to @imonmykneessir and @ruler-of-the-nether for wanting to know more about 141 Sweetheart and her simps HAHA

- ❀

#1

Laswell: Where are you off to, Keller?

Alex: Oh, I'm taking Sweets to town. Just to sightsee and things.

Laswell, smiling: That sounds fun. Where is she by the way?

141 Sweetheart, walking out wearing a sundress and sandal wedges: I'm here!

141 Sweetheart: Hi Laswell! How you doin'?

Alex, seeing Sweetheart:

Laswell: I'm good, Sweetheart. You look beautiful in that sundress.

141 Sweetheart: Aww, Thank you! Hey Alex, you ready?

Alex, braindead: Mhm.

141 Sweetheart: Oh wait- I think I forgot my phone... Wait here, Kell.

Alex, still braindead, gets down on his knees, eyes still trained on Sweetheart:

141 Sweetheart:

Laswell:

141 Sweetheart: ....You can- you can stand. And wait. Think that'll be easy... for your knees.

Alex blinks out of his trance and stands: Oh-- shit yeah.

(An awkward silence is in the air)

Alex, coughing: Do you need help finding your phone?

141 Sweetheart, already moving on: Sure.

--

Lil Bonus!

Laswell, smirking: Are gonna talk about what that wa--

Alex: No

-❀

#2

Alex, whining: Sweets, pleeaaassseee

141 Sweetheart making tea, sighing: Alex hun, no! I'm not gonna tackle you just so you could feel my thighs again. You tricked me one too many times.

Alex, scoffing: It's not because of that!

141 Sweetheart giving him a 'really bitch' look:

Alex: --The first time! It- wasn't because of that the first time... but just one more? I'm legit trying to get that move right!

141 Sweetheart: Okay, you want me to teach you?

Alex nodding:

141 Sweetheart, turning back to her tea: Then beg.

Alex:

(He then drops to his knees insanely close to Sweetheart's legs)

141 Sweetheart, bug eyed: WHAT THE-

Alex, laying it on THICK: Sweetheart, please. Please teach me. I beg of you. You're so strong and powerful... you know so many fighting techniques. I just want to learn one? Please?

141 Sweetheart, stunned:

(Alex feels bold, fingers ever so gently feeling her calf and slowly going up, causing Sweetheart to short-circuit)

Alex with big, pleading puppy eyes: I'll do anything you say, Sweetheart. I promise.

(He places a soft kiss on her knee, mind immediately wanting to worship her entire being. He shakes that thought away and then looks up at her)

Alex: Can you please teach me?

141 Sweetheart, nodding slowly:

Alex, face lightning up and leaving: Okay good! I'll get changed and you do the same! See you in 0.58 minutes! (Half an hour military time)

Alex, smirking: Really? Are you sure?

141 Sweetheart, mumbling: Y...yeah...

141 Sweetheart:

Laswell, who walked in seeing only half of this: What the hell was that?

141 Sweetheart, still stunned and a bit flustered: I don't... I dunno...

-*-

Alex lied. It was definitely just to feel her thighs around his neck and face.

Alex, eyes closed and face pink: Mmh... I'm going to heaven again~!

141 Sweetheart: GOD DAMMIT ALEX

-❀

Alex, stressed and looking out the window: The storm's not letting up. We have to wait longer than we need to...

#3

(After a mission gone awry, Alex and Sweetheart got split up from 141. They found an abandoned house and called for backup or evac. What's worse is that Sweetheart got shot. And what's even worse is that there's a hurricane outside)

141 Sweetheart, holding her bleeding arm: Heyyyyy that's okay! We'll-- ugh-- We'll be fine.

Alex, frowning: We? Fuck a 'we', you're the one who got fucking shot, Sweets. Not me-- God dammit can this storm go away?!

Alex, scoffing with a faux grin: Always so positive...

141 Sweetheart, slouching on the broken couch: It'll let up, Kell. I know it will.

(Alex stares at her for a bit. He wonders how a person with so much hope join the military)

Alex, trudging to Sweetheart: Always seeing the good in people...

Alex: Can you see the good in me? Can you?

141 Sweetheart, looking up at him confused: Alex?

(He drops to his knees hard on the mildew covered floorboards. He looks defeated. After a beat of silence, his glossy eyes bore into hers. The vulnerability surprises Sweetheart)

141 Sweetheart: I--

Alex, whispering: I'm sorry.

Alex, tears welling in his eyes: I let you down, Sweetheart... I couldn't keep you safe. You-- You got hurt because of me.

(He leans forward, head laying on her knee and hands conjoined on top of her thigh, like he's praying for her forgiveness.)

141 Sweetheart with sad eyes: Alex... Honey, there's nothing-- ow- nothing to be sorry for.

(She cups his cheek, making him look at her blinding smile)

141 Sweetheart, chuckling: I'm in the army for damn's sake. Was gonna get shot someday!

141 Sweetheart: And of course I see the good in you. I always have and I always will.

(She wipes away a tear that Alex didn't know fall on his cheek. He huffs and smiles. A genuine smile. His hand claps over hers, thankful that she's here with him)

Alex: Thank you.

-*-

(They made it out. Sweetheart did fine when the bullet got taken out but cried when she had to get stitches)

Thank you so much for the amazing positive feedback on these! I'm so happy and honored 💖💕

[recurring-polynya]

Writing Update/Art Update 5/9/2023

Many things happened last week. Not very many of them were drawing. I'll get back to that.

I have finally started posting the big (it's not really big. Medium-big. It just felt big) fanfic that I have working on for most of the year. You can start here if you want to read it, Chapters 1-3 are currently available.

I finished the smut. I had mostly finished it by Friday, but then we had a belated-because-we-were-waiting-for-spring-weather backyard birthday party for my daughter this past weekend, so I had to spend a solid 48 hours in the paralyzing deathgrip of anxiety at the prospect of socializing with people I don't know (the parents of some of my daughter's classmates), so I didn't get much of anything else done, although I did clean my house and buy a bunch of hot dogs.

I only got one doodle done this week, which took me three days, spread out over the anxiety deathgrip, but I'm pretty pleased with how it came out. I really would like to start on a more serious project this week, but I may get back to them, we'll see how it goes. I do want to thank everyone who sent in prompts, and I'm sorry I haven't gotten to more of them. Turns out I'm real bad at doing quick, fast-turnaround doodles! Is anyone surprised??

After that, like, I said, I finished up the porno. I was hoping to post it yesterday, but it was pretty late at night by the time I finished my editing sweep. Today was a go places posting day and I didn't really want to post two different fanfics in one day, plus I had made kind of a lot of edits, so I figured it wouldn't hurt to let it sit a day and then do another sweep before posting. In other words, tomorrow, probably.

This morning, I re-read what I've gotten written so far of Ductwork, which is the working title of the next story in the Heart is a Muscle. It's 7707 words at the moment, and I get hot mad every time I read it because I want there to be more of it, and unfortunately, there is only one way to make that happen. But it's gonna!! I keep telling myself that it was really worthwhile to have taken the time to write go places first, because Ductwork is largely about Rukia and Renji finally digging down into a lot of festering insecurities from that time in their afterlives. I have a couple different approaches to writing these days, and I'm gonna try to do the thing that ended up working for go places, which is 1) try to write something every day, 2) chronological schmonological, write whatever I can possibily come up with, I'll just cram it all together at the end, this was very fun and easy last time and definitely did not take six drafts and a color-coded spreadsheet. Based on past experience, I do not think I am going to be able to power through to completion, so my goal is to add at least 20k words to the thing before I flame out in a blaze of beautiful depression and spend the rest of the summer on something insane, like bringing back the Soul Society Tattoo Artist AU. My overall prediction is that it will be around 60k, but I'm not discounting the possibility that it could be another 100k-er. (it better not go over 120k tho, I will die for real)

Anyway, that was my week! Whew!

[dany36]

i did it!!! after 62 hours (162 in total), i completed new game+ in ultra hard!! wow, i didn't think I was going to be able to do it cus of what I had been hearing about it (plus i thought the game in normal was way harder than zero dawn in normal), but well, it's been done!!! and i'm really proud that i did it without using any of the legendary weapons. i didn't really wanna use them cus upgrading them was gonna be such a hassle (ESPECIALLY in ultra hard are you kidding me) and it uses so many sludges that i would rather keep for my new favorite weapon which got me through this ultra hard mode...the spike thrower!!! <3

i don't ever bother with "ultra hard" modes or 100%ing achievements, but i love the horizon games so much that i just can't help myself. overall i enjoyed this second playthrough just as much as the first one. knowing what was coming and being able to appreciate the cutscenes while recognizing the songs that would play from the OST (LIKE HELLO TILDA SAYING "YES, A SECOND CHANCE TO DO WHAT'S RIGHT" TO ALOY TWICE AND--OMG--THAT'S THE NAME OF THE SONG FOR THE FINAL BATTLE ALSDKJFLASDJFSDF) just made me love the game even more.

anyway, more random junk thoughts below

first time through i really didn't see the whole tilda-being-evil coming. i mean the game hints at it right before leaving to the zenith base but i really liked her character (plus carrie-anne moss plays her, hello) and i was really wishing that she was helping aloy and her friends because she really wanted to make up for her past. PLUS when aloy tells her that lis regretted how things ended between them, how tilda reacts is so LASKJDFLASKJDFLASKJDF like IMAGINE tilda regretting for 1000 years how their last conversation ended and then aloy's like "yeah lis was sad about it too" like i would personally just go insane (well i guess tilda did actually lol). so in the end when she reveals she actually just wants aloy i was like damn...why are u like this. oh well...thanks for saving aloy from the zeniths even if it was for a super selfish purpose i guess. ;(

THEN AGAIN i also totally missed the implied relationship between tilda and lis until aloy spelled it out for me. i was seriously like WAIT WHAT, I thought they were just seriously gals being pals!!!! so i mean i am not the brightest at picking up hints, so i certainly wasn't gonna pick up on the fact that tilda was going to be, in fact, evil and not doing it out of the pure goodness of her heart.

why did they make erend's dialogue to the zenith base so whiny. i was like omg erend plz stop. especially the part where he's like "you know, there's one thing i'm gonna regret about all of this" and i was like oh crap something deep is coming and even aloy's "what is it" sounded annoyed, so when erend says "all this climbing we had to do" i was like sir....please. you're not helping.

i love sylens's character so much. i swear every cutscene he was in i would just have the goofiest grin on my face. the way he expresses himself is just so damn entertaining to listen to. the banter and remarks between him and aloy are just the best. when sylens finally arrives at the base and teases aloy about the company she keeps, "are you going to actually ask a question or are you still playing catch-up", "stop waxing useless nostalgia and get back to the task at hand", like oh my god i think next time i play (once i FINALLY get a ps5) i'm going to have to record my favorite cutscenes/lines of him. i loved how aloy actually ASKS him to stay since they could really use his help against nemesis and then HE DOES STAY ALKDSJFLASKJDFLJAS hell yes!!! no i do NOT ship them like some people do but i REALLY love their....weird-ass-friendship-or-whatever-the-hell-they-got-going-on and i'm so glad we'll get to see more of sylens!!!

alva is hands down my favorite character from the second game (silga is close but alas she's just a sidequest character ;( ). like holy crap her voice actress really did such a fantastic job at making her so damn adorable, charming, and relatable. i would always look forward to any new interactions with her back at the base, and it's so cute how protective aloy is of her whenever you're on a mission with alva since she knows alva is not exactly a fighter. if alva didn't already have a gf i'd definitely be on the aloyxalva ship.

also i realized alva's theme song is "The Eye that Reveals" and just ugh that just made me love her character even more because that's one of my favorite songs from the OST even though it's so short alsdkjflsdkjflaskjdf 😭

although i'm extremely sad that talanah and petra didn't have more involvement in the main plot, i'm glad they at least didn't get the nil treatment. i honestly didn't even know he was in hfw until i finished the game and i started browsing the tag and saw people mentioning him. i was like WHAT the hell?? i avoided the racing game like the plague since i had zero interest in it so then there i went, racing with machines so i could watch the cutscene. i'm not a nil fan by any means but i was really curious as to how he would explain his change in career lol.

ultra hard mode in hfw was definitely harder than hzd ultra hard mode. despite this, i definitely died way less than when i played it in normal mode (i like to think i improved lol). the purple-level spike thrower became a must against any big machine cus i mean, that thing can knock down ANYTHING, even specter prime!! plus the explosive ones do some incredible damage. really glad i discovered its usefulness cus otherwise with just a normal bow+arrow i would have been done for, especially since they nerfed the ropecaster so much in this game.

i was doing most of the sidequests+errands in new game+ cus i thought there was going to be more use for the campion's tokens but...i got all the weapons, dyes, and face paints and still have like 30+ tokens with me PLUS i didn't do like 5 or so sidequests+errands so there's still definitely more i could get but...it looks like they give you more than you really need...

anyway, enough babbling about hfw for now. time to put this game to rest until dlc comes out. i'm kind of anxious at how the third game will wrap things up--for the second game i was really looking forward to it, but for this one i'm scared that they'll screw it up. oh well, hopefully the dlc for forbidden west will be just as amazing and fulfilling as frozen wilds was!!

[bobasheebaby]

100 Roseanne Prompts

I usually try to stick to quotes that can work for everyone but some of these were too good to skip. Break at 15 like always. Request a show

1 “Hey, all our lives suck.” — Roseanne

2 “Here's why you can't trust your kids 'cause they're stupid. That's why we don't give 'em cars or booze.” — Roseanne

3 “Etsy is like a yard sale except online because nobody can afford a yard anymore.” — Darlene

4 “All of your relatives died from alcoholism. The ones that didn't drink were killed by the ones who did.” — Roseanne

5 “Did all of your children's deliveries go according to your birth plan?” “Um, they found their way out, if that's what you mean.” — Andrea & Roseanne

6 “You gotta pick your fights in life.” — Roseanne

7 “Okay, he doesn't have to wear pants, but he's gotta wear underwear.” — Dan

8 “It is not my fault that I just happen to be a charismatic person who's always right about everything.” — Roseanne

9 “Why are you picking on me? What, did I take the last doughnut, or something?” — Darlene

10 [Person B is embarrassed after walking in on Person C nursing her baby] “Oh, now, NAME. It's not like you've never seen breasts before.” “NAME’s my friend. As far as I'm concerned, she has no breasts... It works for me, okay?” — Roseanne & Dan

11 “The car has heated seats? Thank God, I thought I was going through the change.” — Roseanne

12 [stoned and laying the bathtub] “Is this the sink? Am I shrinking?” — Jackie

13 “In this house, I'm in charge and father knows squat.” — Roseanne

14 “What's up? I smell fear. I love that smell! But what's up?” — Roseanne

15 “Do you have anything sharp I can stick in my eye?” — Dan

16 “You are really, really gettin' on my nerves today, man! I mean more than usual!” — Dan

17 “Well, you think you can stop me from seeing NAME, huh?” “I think I can stop you from seeing tomorrow.” — Mark & Dan

18 “You were always trying to push us apart. You were always putting me down!” — Mark Healey

19 “My marriage is not based on me listening!” — Roseanne

20 “Why don't you just kiss my butt?” “Well, haul it on over here, Jumbo!” — Becky & Darlene

21 “You are just evil!” — Jackie

22 “Oh good, go for the guilt. You better take a looong, hard look at yourself, NAME, 'cause if you are this obsessed with my life, there is obviously something missing from yours.” “Just figure that out?” — Jackie & Roseanne

23 “I thought you were just gonna go over there and scare him/her?” “Well, it started out that way.” — Roseanne & Dan

24 “Being your own boss isn't that great of a deal. Last week I sexually harassed myself.” — Dan

25 “Hell, even I don't hate her that much.” — Dan

26 “Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous.” “Just don't shoot any milk out of you nose, and you'll be fine.” — Becky & Roseanne

27 “Please, NAME, I don't want you to help me, I just want you to leave me alone ... Please.” — Darlene

28 “Don’t toy with me, NAME.” — Roseanne

29 “We, have had a fight, and we're not speaking to each other.” “Oh, well, what was the fight about? Maybe I can take a side.” — Roseanne & Jackie

30 “He/She wanted to do something; I didn't feel like it.” “Yeah, well, so what are you going to do?” “Nothing.” “That's what you did last weekend!” “Yeah, well I'm not finished.” — Darlene & Roseanne

31 “No, NAME always was the bad influence.” — Roseanne

32 “Talking - it's like yelling, only not as loud.” — Roseanne

33 “Yeah, but you know what they say, NAME. They say, ah, when you really love something you should, you know, make it go away or get rid of it, or whatever.” — Roseanne

34 “You're acting like a crazed psychopath.” [snorts] “Well the voices in my head disagree.” — Dan & Roseanne

35 [on getting married] “I always thought it was the smartest thing I ever did. You obviously don't agree.” “No, I do agree with you, it was the smartest thing you ever did, but we're talking about me now!” — Dan & Roseanne

36 [Person A and Person B bury the hatchet] “So, I guess we've finally approached the end of Bitch-Fest YEAR.” “Oh what a time we had!” — Roseanne & Darlene

37 “You can't tell NAME what to do. She's a big girl!” [snarls] “Compared to who?” — David & Roseanne

38 “What kind of list is he/she making? Not that it's any of my business.” “A hit list.” — Beverly & Dan

39 [feeling for pulse] “I think he’s/she's dead.” [steps back] “Check again.” “I know how to count to zero.” — Roseanne & Dan

40 “What was the second thing you noticed about me?” — Roseanne

41 “Aw, get off the sympathy wagon, NAME; there were plenty of guys/girls standing in line for you to treat 'em like dirt. I was just the lucky one.” — Dan

42 “You are rotten rotten kids, and I can't even believe I'm related to you two!” — Jackie Harris

43 “You'll just do something stupid that you're going to regret later.” — Roseanne

44 “I'm your husband/wife. That's my right.” — Dan

45 [finds present] “You're not going to open it, are you? It's two days away.” “Yea! Well I need time to practice pretending like I like it.” [pulls something ugly from the box] “Oh man, I should'a opened it a week ago.” — Jackie & Roseanne

46 “Oh, this is going to be soooo great!” — Darlene

47 “What's the catch?” “No catch, can't we do something nice?” “I don't know, you never have.” — Roseanne & Becky

48 “Oh my God. You're kidding me!” — Roseanne

49 “Save your breath, NAME, you're not gonna talk me into dropping this lawsuit.” “Well, maybe I can talk you into begging for your life.” — Fred & Roseanne

50 “I'm way more powerful than any law!” — Roseanne

51 “Well NAME, I guess you're just not the man/woman I thought you were ... and I wasn't too happy with that one!” — Roseanne

52 “We should've known, NAME, men stick together no matter how butt headed their argument is.” — Becky

53 [about Person b and person c’s sex life] “You're kidding? You guys have a night?” “Yes, we have a night. It's not only Wednesday, but it's always Wednesday.” You have a time too?” “Yeah. Twenty minutes, or until he gets a cramp.” “Well, you should make him wait half-an-hour after he eats.” — Jackie & Roseanne

54 “Oh, c'mon. Just because you guys aren't having "Wednesday", doesn't mean he’s/she's out ... "Wednesday-ing" somebody else.” — Jackie

55 “What's the matter with you, boy/girl? Can't keep your pants on?” — Dan

56 “Damn women! Who the hell do they think they are!” “We are sugar and spice, and everything nice. So bite me!” — Dan & Roseanne

57 “Have you met NAME?” — Roseanne

58 “Gee, I'd love to NAME, but I'd rather stay home and drill some screws into my toes.” — Darlene

59 “Remember one thing, NAME, I'm your worst nightmare!” — Jackie

60 “You always say how you want better things for us.” “Ah, yea, but I was talking about me and your Dad. You kids already got it too good.” — Becky & Roseanne

61 “You are a controlling bitch!” — Dan

62 “Boy I'll tell you, I wish I had never m - -“ “What? Say it.” “Nothin'.” “Well that makes two of us.“ — Dan & Roseanne

63 “Ooohhh, we all know what this is about, don't we? You're just jealous because I've made something of myself.” “Yeah, an ass ... And where do you get that hoity-toity accent anyway? You're from PLACE!” — Ronnie & Roseanne

64 “I can't believe that I wasted TIME hating you for something as stupid as a wedding, when there's a very good reason to hate you. You're a bitch!” [gasps] “I'm a bitch? Hah! I bow to the queen of all bitches.” — Roseanne & Ronnie

65 “Look me in the eye and tell me it was an accident. And remember ... I can tell when you're lying.” “It was an accident ... could you tell?” — Roseanne & DJ

66 “I could go for something to eat.” “Yeah? Well, then go.” [motions toward the door] — Arnie & Roseanne

67 “You're going to flunk marriage if you can't pass the oral ... oh my God ...” “We know too much, we know too much.” — Dan & Fred

68 “NAME, where'd you get those jelly beans?” “From the bin at store.” “NAME, I told you, you gotta finish eating them while you're in the store, 'else it's stealing!” — Roseanne & DJ

69 “I never thought I would say this ... I'm too depressed to drink.” — Dan

70 “Let's just cut the crap, okay. You're talking to NAME’s mother here, the mother of all mothers and she is majorly mad.” — Roseanne

71 “NAME, NAME, NAME. I have raised two of the best damn liars in the free world. Don't embarrass yourself.” — Roseanne

72 “This is for the pain.” “Owwww. Make it a double.” — Nurse & Jackie

73 “I hate to see you laying here in pain like this.” “Well actually, ever since he/she gave me that shot, I'm feelin' kinda neat.” — Gary & Jackie

74 “I want someone who will love me and support me no matter what. Just like NAME does for you.” “Are you insane! You know how many years I had to put into NAME? You think he/she came out of a box like that!” — Jackie & Roseanne

75 “What do you think your punishment oughta be?” “What do you mean?” “NAME told me everything.” “That little rat.” “But I told him/her I wasn't going to do anything until I get your side of the story.” “Well first we, wait a minute, uh, uh --“ “You're getting good.” — Roseanne & Becky

76 “I worked it out with NAME, he’s/she's gonna stay here and babysit and I'm gonna go out.” “Why would he/she do that?” “I have dirt on him/her. “ “What kind of dirt?” “Now if I told you, I'd have to stay home.” [person a leaves] — Darlene & Roseanne

77 [Person A is acting like a hunchback] “I brought the baggage master, where do you wish me to put it?” “Just put it anywhere Igor.” “Maybe later you and me.” “We'll see.” You're so kind.” [ kisses hand] — Dan & Roseanne

78 [about child’s behavior] “NAME you did stuff like that when you were NAME’s age right?” “No, the boy's odd.” — Roseanne & Dan

79 [offering to the family] “Hey, I got one more pancake.” “I want French toast!” “Well, you better move to Europe.” — Roseanne & DJ

80 [Person A, angry, grabs keys and leaves the house] “Oh God. This is really bad.” “Yeah, I know.” “Oh no. I mean, this is really bad. I'm parked behind him/her.” — Jackie & Dan

81 “Yeah, I do. And we're not going to put him/her through that again, are we?” — Dan

82 [comes in through the front door] “NAME, you all ready to go?” [whining] “I don't wa-haant to-o-o-o! I feel like a used piece of gum that somebody stuck under the table, just waiting for the excitement of drying up and hitting the floor.” — Jackie & Roseanne

83 “You HAVE to take this job ... you're the only one that applied!” — Marsha

84 [grabs the syrup bottle and comes up behind PERSON B] “Remember me, NAME?” [look of terror] “Not Mrs. Butterworth ... please not Mrs. Butterworth.” “Remember how your brother/sister NAME told you how I came to life at night in the cupboard? Remember how I would chase you around even though I have no legs? Well I'm back and I just want one more sticky kiss!” [PERSON B screams] — Roseanne & Jackie

85 “I hope I see you later, I mean, a lot later.” — Roseanne

86 [after the birth] “I didn't call you any horrible names back there, did I?” “No more than usual.” — Roseanne & Dan

87 [about kid dressed as a lawyer] “That's the scariest costume all night.” — Roseanne

88 [going through the candy bowl] “This is all sugar in here.” “Not true, there're chemicals too.” — David & Roseanne

89 “You should be giving children the stuff their bodies need.” [gets fruit from the kitchen] “What the hell is that?” “Wait a minute, honey, I've seen this before, it's food that doesn't come in a wrapper.” “That's unsanitary.” — David, Roseanne & Dan

90 “Did you see the Great Pumpkin last night?” “No, NAME wore pajamas.” — Jackie & Roseanne

91 [discussing Person C] “She's rude and selfish.” “I know, but, inside she's just a ... scared little girl.” Yeah, and I know what's scaring her, the raging bitch on the outside.” — Dan & Roseanne

92 “I'll be back later to give you your present.” “Why can't I just open it now?” “I haven't bought it yet.” — Jackie & Roseanne

93 “And don't you ever feed my dog!” “If I get drunk enough, I'll fight your dog!” — Roseanne

94 “I really don't think it's wise for anyone in this family to be giving away livers.” — Beverly

95 “Say 'I'm not taking any crap from anyone'.” “I am ...” “Stop! It's not 'I am', it's 'I'm'.” “I'm not taking any... do I have to say the C word?” “Yes you do, NAME, because that's the most important word.” “I'm not taking any crap from anyone.” “That was good but are you serving tea, NAME? Get mad and say it.” [louder] “I'm not taking any crap from anyone!” “Good, now personalize it, make it your own.” [louder] “I'm not taking any damn crap from anyone!” — Roseanne & Doris

96 “Hey, where's my 'My other mug is a shot glass' mug?” — Roseanne

97 “Why are you gettin' so mad at me?” “Because you are making me defend NAME.” — Becky & Roseanne

98 “I am not sexist. I'm much too frightened of women to be sexist.” — David

99 “Get me a beer.” “Get it yourself, slob!” — Mark & Darlene

100 “I can't believe you're jealous over this.” “Why not? It's very typical of me.”