#wait why are we in kindergarten now STOP IT YOU ARE RUINING THE VIBES!

[crowned-clown-rising]

If things keep going like this I'm afraid I'm gonna run out of money to pay all the guest stars (people I haven't had business with for seasons) that come uninvited to my show (my dreams).

[erensnubs]

𝑳����𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑱𝒐

Hanamaki Takihiro x GN! Reader

Based off of the Laurie and Jo Scene in Little Women

Summary: Sometimes first loves never work out

Content: Angst, pure angst

From pirate ships, to being monarchs and warriors of old, you and Hanamaki Takahiro, were best friends.

He was the little boy who moved in next door, snot running down his nose, hands stained with dirt as he offered you a piece offering of roly polies and leaves.

You were the little kid who rolled around in the mud and terrorized the other kids by throwing sticks at them.

Needless to say you immediately became best friends. And menaces to your parents, the neighborhood kids and society in general.

You were together from the young ages of kindergarten, you were there to witness Hanamaki's awkward stage of puberty. You were there to witness him making other friends than you and lovers.

He was there when he saw you make other friends than him, dating a lot of people. He was there when you were scared of going to middle school, was there when you had anxiety over grades.

You were there for each other all the time, ups and downs, triumphs and trials.

So it was natural, that Hanamaki fell, completely and hopelessly;

In love with you.

You're running in the grass, rolling around with Hanamaki laughing your asses off. You guys have just graduated highschool and the two of you, being the dumb bitches you are decide to skip the family party to celebrate your accomplishments. 

“We’re adults now!” You yell, half skipping down the hill and eventually trip. 

You pick yourself up and start screaming. 

“I’M FREE FROM THIS GOD FORSAKEN TOWN! WE’RE FREE!” 

Hanamaki laughs, “Yeah says the one who barely passed history.” 

He grabs you by the arm and drags you through the flowers of the field and sets you down, all the while you giggle deliriously. 

Usually Hanamaki would be laughing along, making stupid jokes about your laugh. 

But he doesn’t. 

And it scares you. 

Before you even open your mouth to say anything, Hanamaki plops down beside you and thoughtfully asks, 

“What are we going to do, [Name]? After here?” 

The question sounded serious not like those ones where he asked you if he looked sexy for prom or if his crocs match the vibe of the weather that day. 

You paused to take in the question. 

“Well... I can’t really answer that Hiro Out of our whole friend group we’ve always been the floaters. The ones that never really know what we’re doing...” 

Hanamaki turns his head around, baby hairs sticking onto his skin from the sweat of running. His eyes are looking at you, no they’re looking through you. 

He breathes out a yes, like he’s been holding something from you. A secret he didn’t want to tell. 

You turn away abruptly hoping he doesn’t see your slight change of attitude. 

“Iwaizumi’s going to America, Mattsun is getting ready for college, and you know Oikawa is going over to Brazil to pursue volleyball.” 

“I honestly don’t know Hiro. I get that we can’t be kids who run around more and throw dirt at each other,” you say laughing softly. 

Hanamaki scoffs, “But you wish it was like that huh?” 

You sit up and pick the grass from the ground and throw it randomly into the air. 

“Of course! I still want to get a pirate ship and go and travel the world with you.” 

Hanamaki raises his eyebrows, “And steal gold from random people?” 

You smile cheekily, “Of course. Then we’ll build our chocolate empire, something that could rival Willy Wonka’s.” 

Hanamaki stands up and puts his hand out to you. 

You grab it, but why do you feel like the gesture is something much more than a friendly hand? 

The two of you start walking, swinging your arms around as you joke about your chocolate factory, your pirate ships, the adventures you’re going to have. 

The sun was setting, the long, green blades of grass turning yellow as you and Hanamaki run through them, creating scars and bumps on your skin. 

You were going to miss highschool. You were going to miss groaning about exams and certain substitute teachers. Miss skipping classes with Mattsun and Makki to go get wasted with cheap alcohol. 

You were going to miss Oikawa and his stupid smile and Iwaizumi and his stupid nicknames. You were going to miss crying with the 3rd years over lost volleyball games. 

Hell, you were probably going to cry when Oikawa and Iwaizumi left to continue their lives. You might even cry when Mattsun goes to college even if he isn’t going overseas. 

But at least you had Hanamaki. Your dearest friend. Though your relationship has gotten deeper and you were able to confide with each other, you were still the 2 children that fought other kids on the playground. 

You could always, always rely on him. Because you never changed with each other. 

“[Name]?” 

You turn around and see Hanamaki. His eyes glowed with something. 

And it was not of the setting sun. 

“Yes?” You say, the sky turning darker as moments pass. 

“I know we talk about us being adventurous and going with the flow... but I feel like we could do something more, you know?” he says it quietly, his thumb subconsciously rubbing yours. 

You look up at him, “What do you mean? You just want to suddenly work a 9-5 job in a corporate company? We talked about this Hiro...” 

He looks taken aback, “No no, that’s not what I meant [Name].”

Hanamaki gets quieter, “We could always be little kids, playing with swords and sticks. Together.” 

You pause as Hanamaki looks up at your eyes. Together? You’ve always been together? Always. 

Wait. 

He couldn’t possibly mean. 

You pull back from his grasp, 

“No Hiro I can’t do that. Please no.” 

You start walking away from him and he advances as he argues, trying to salvage something. 

“[Name], no I love you and I have always loved you since we were little! I can’t imagine myself being with anyone else besides you!” 

You walk faster and wrap your arms around yourself, “No, no, no. Hiro you’re being ridiculous.” 

“Yes, YES!” 

“No! We can’t!” 

“[NAME]! COME BACK HERE LET ME SEE YOU!” Hanamaki says running towards you. 

You spin around and stare at him, “We can’t work Hiro! I could never love you that way, and I would be lying, God I would be lying if I said that I did. Our whole life together we’re going to be pretending.” 

He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, “Why?! We were just talking about doing adventures together! Why is that any different than what I proposed!?” 

You stomp your foot onto the ground, “Did you not just listen to me you dipshit? I could never love you romantically! Ever! I care for you, I worry for you but Hanamaki you are my friend. My closest friend. You are the one thing in my life that hasn’t changed so quickly and then you pull this shit?” 

Hanamaki starts yelling now, “BUT I MAKE YOU HAPPY! AND YOU MAKE ME HAPPY! WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER SIDE BY SIDE, FOR YEARS [NAME]! YEARS! I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD HAVE TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU!” 

You start shaking your head, “No, don’t say that.”

Hanamaki starts rambling, “You always tell me that words and actions are your love languages- 

“Stop.” 

“And I’ve been doing it, [Name]. I have. I have been there for you, anywhere and-and-”

“Takihiro stop.” 

“And I can’t feel like this anymore. I can’t let you slip through my fingers and watch you run away from me like everyone else has-”

“TAKIHIRO STOP IT!” 

The only things that you could hear were the sounds of your breathing and the crickets in the grass. 

“Takihiro, you’re being a child. You’re being stupid and ridiculous. Do not let the fantasies of a boy ruin your future,” you say sternly, begging for your tears to not fall onto the ground. 

“You say that, [Name], and then run from everything that requires commitment,” he says sharply. 

“You’re a coward, [Name]. You’re hurting me.” 

Hanamaki is stepped away from you know and he starts walking away. 

“My life has no meaning anymore-”

You scoff, “Takihiro your love for me isn’t worth your life!” 

Hanamaki walks away and his voice is racked with sobs. Oh god he seriously does love you. 

Why? 

“Takihiro come back here!” 

You’re running towards him now, grabbing his arm but he pushes away. 

“Takihiro think with your brain! Just because we can’t be together the way you want doesn’t mean we have to sever all ties!” You say breathlessly. 

“I mean think about it, we could have never worked. You hate the fact I don’t eat your favorite ice cream, you constantly like to go out and I like staying home.” 

“I don’t care-” 

“I hate meeting your other family members because they look down on me, my family members have always been skeptical of you-” 

“I don’t care about that-” 

“And we would be miserable, Takihiro. Absolutely miserable with one another-” 

“No we wouldn’t,” he says stopping and grabbing your arm. Your noses were touching as his thin lips tried to connect with yours.

You pull away. 

“Admit it Makki. We are better off as friends, not lovers,” you say finally. 

“I’m ugly and I don’t care about my appearance like your other lovers do. I’m brutally honest with you and sometimes you cry about my opinion and-” 

“I love you [Name].” 

“I’m lazy and have no real goal in life, I have no foundation no, no rock or something. I don’t have a drive, Hiro! You’re going to be stuck with someone who doesn’t care.” 

“I love you.” 

“And you’re going to find someone else, a nice person, who likes eating your ice cream and dresses up. Who has a clear goal in life and someone your family will love-” 

“No one could ever replace you, [Name]-” 

You throw your hands up in frustration, “You’re mixing platonic and romantic feelings together and turning it into some big thing!” 

“No, I’m not.” 

“Yes you are.” 

Silence surpasses you again and Hanamaki starts walking away. 

You spoke up, “But-” 

He turns around again and looks at you with hope. Hope for something more. 

“That I don’t think I’ll ever be with someone romantically, Makki. I’ve gone years without.” 

Hanamaki scoffs and starts to laugh cruelly, 

“I don’t believe that, [Name]. You’re going to find someone, and you’re going to fall hard.” 

You sneer, “How do you know?” 

“I just do, you’re impossible to not fall in love with. You’re the sunshine in my life.” 

“Takihiro don’t say that, please.” 

He looks back at you, “But you are! You are my world, my-” 

“LEAVE ME! OH MY GOD LEAVE ME!” You yell at him and turn away. 

This was the 1st time Hanamaki hears you with that voice. 

"[Name]-"

"JUST GO PLEASE-"

"YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE [NAME]!” 

You spit out your words, “OH REALLY YOU THINK I WILL? ME? THE PERSON WHO TURNED YOU DOWN?!” 

“YES! YES [NAME],” Hanamaki says. 

“You’re going to fall in love with someone and you’re perfect, care free life will turn upside down and they’re going to love you. And you’re going to be perfect with each other-” 

“HANAMAKI-” 

“And I will watch. I will watch you grow and love this person. I will watch it happen because I still love you and I don’t think I’ll love anyone else.” 

“And I will watch you, I will watch you [Name], and- and,” 

You couldn’t bear to see his tears fall from his eyes, so you turn away. 

“I will imagine that it could have been me and you-”

“Hanamaki please-” 

“I don’t know what to do with myself but I will still take care of you and I truly love you, forever and-” 

“Hanamaki-” 

“I won’t ever stop, [Name]. Ever,” he says softly as he tries to reach out for your hand. 

You pull away, your voice breaking. 

“Hanamaki, go. I don’t want to see you right now,” you say softly. 

You don’t have to turn around to see him crumble. You can feel it. 

Because your heart was crumbling too. 

“I’ll go... get back safe, [Name],” he adds. 

You don’t say anything back, and hear the slow movements in the grass as your best friend walked away from you. 

Forever. 

The sky is dark, the stars seemed ashamed at your argument, and they don’t shine like they used to from years before. 

You stayed in the grass, silent tears on your face as you shielded yourself from the cold with your arms. 

You wanted to go home, but home wasn’t a place

It was a person. And his name was Hanamaki Takihiro. 

But home loved you, and you didn’t love it back the way they wanted. 

More tears flowed from your eyes at the sudden thought emerged from your eyes. 

You had no home anymore. 

AN: Another random little oneshot I did for my boy Hanamaki! Please comment your thoughts or reblog and like! I need constructive critiscm loves so I know what I can write and appeal to! 

Taglist: @saladskittles​

[mariamermaid]

A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

Derek Hale x Fem Reader

Summary: After exhausting events, you decide that it was time to have some fun for the pack. However, Derek seems to be in a bad mood and you try to make him jealous…

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: underaged drinking

  You hadn´t thought Lydia would be the one to panic, however, you turned out to be wrong. Sighing to yourself, you wondered if it had been such a good idea after all. But now it was too late; you could the see the neon lights of club glowing from afar. It was a dark night in the early spring, the weather still cold at the late time you now arrived. You had taken it upon you, to organize a little night out for the pack and surprisingly, you had managed to talk everybody in joining. Plus, you knew the bouncer that was working there and with some cogency, he had promised you to let you and your friends enter the fairly famous club, even though some of them were underaged.

Well, besides you and Derek, they were all underaged. There was a weird feeling of mother protectiveness, but also a good amount of vodka aunt vibes, since you were excited to show them the clubbing life. You hadn´t expected for Derek to come, you had thrown the comment relentlessly in the room, guessing that he wasn´t going to be interested anyway.

You all shared two taxis, you together with Alison, Lydia, Kira and Malia and in the other one the boys with Scott, Stiles, Isaac and Derek. Unlike the boys, who were just picked up at Derek´s apartment, you had been getting ready together and shared a fair amount of wine already, making you a little tipsy.

“Y/n? Y/N are you even listening?” Lydia pulled you back into the reality after snapping with her fingers in front of your face. You shook your head, but then starred at her waiting to repeat her question. “What?”

“Are you sure that your bouncer is here today? And how did you exactly persuade him into letting us in?” Alison, who sat behind you, leaned forward, her head sticking out between you and Lydia. “Yeah what exactly did you do to persuade him? Is he cute?” She asked smirking and you heard Kira and Malia giggling. Lydia sighed and snapped against Alison´s head, who furrowed her eyebrows just to lean back again. “Don´t you dare”, she warned Alison. “Y/n is basically made to be with our sour wolf, everybody knows it!” You rolled your eyes, while giving the cab driver the money. Then you opened the door and hoped at first. “Derek and me are not made to be together, we are not even dating, never been and probably never will.” Lydia stepped out next and threw her hair back.

“Try to tell yourself as much as you want, but I see the way he looks at you.”

In the dim lighting in front of the club, they couldn’t see how you blushed and luckily for you, they dropped the subject since the boys arrived in the second taxi. You eyed the flask in Isaacs hand, which he unsuspiciously let glide back into his pocket again. They had been drinking as well.

There was a waiting row, it was almost always there and two bouncers waited at the entrance. Stiles made his way rather sloppily to you. “Y/n, that´s quite a row, you sure we´re gonna get in?”

You sighed. “You sound like your girlfriend.” “She´s not my… We´re not officially-“

“Calm down, Stiles, I´ve known that guy since kindergarten.”

Full of confidence and maybe a little liquor, you walked right past the waiting people, the rest of the pack slowly following you. Grinning you hugged Dimitri, the bouncer, and happy to see you, he lifted you off the ground a little. You had known Dimitri indeed since kindergarten, even though the both of you had moved away in school, only to come back in your early adult years.

“Y/n, so nice to see you!” Dimitri was more than a head taller than you, he had overly broad shoulders and dark, short hair. He eyed your friends. “That´s your pack?” He asked more quietly and you felt Scott tensing up next to you. You nodded grinning and he opened the door for you to enter. Gentleman like he firstly waved the girls, then the boys in. Last but not least Derek followed, but he didn´t seem convinced and starred angrily at Dimitri.

You had heard the loud bass from outside, but now the volume rose even more and the closer you got to the dancefloor, the more crowded the place became. Alison had taken lead and pulled you to the bar. “First round of shots is on me!”

 After an hour, or maybe two later, you had lost track of time, you had talked a lot with your friends and mostly danced. Just then you realized that you didn´t see Derek anymore. You wondered if he had left, but there was no text from him. You left the dancefloor to go to the bar and have a look around. A strong hand around your arm stopped you from doing so. You didn´t know the man, but in the glowing lights of the club he looked attractive and about your age, as far as you could perceive. “Hey!” He greeted you, screaming closely to your ear in order to go against the loud music, you smiled subconsciously. “Hi!”

“Are you alone here?” You shook your head. “I´m here with my friends”, you nodded toward the group of people and he nodded still smiling. “Good, as far as I can see that, none of them is your boyfriend. Maybe you want to dance with me?” He grinned shyly and you blushed, but then you remembered Derek and your smile dropped. “You seem nice, but I´m looking for a friend of mine, maybe another time.” You explained smiling sadly and he nodded disappointed. He also knew it was polite way of saying no, however he seemed to accept it. “He must be special then.”

He added and then left within the crowd. Confused about his statement you watched him disappear, but then you made your way to the bar, where you had spotted Derek. He was sitting there rather lonely, a brown liquid half empty in front of him. You sat down on the stool next to him.

“Hey, I looked for you!” He shrugged, not looking in your eyes. “Why´s that?” His voice sounded harsh and if you hadn´t known better, also a little drunk. But you were to focused on your own thoughts, the words he said within the loud room and trying not to fall off the stool.

“I was worried about you!” You explained and he shrugged again, but finally he turned to look into your eyes. “Why don´t you go have fun with that boy?”

It hurt you the way he said it, the way his eyes looked hurt but his words stung more. “Fine!”

But all the stubbornness in your blood, decided differently. You jumped of the stool with a surprising amount of grace and found the guy in the crowd, who had previously asked you to dance. Without an explanation, you took his hand and lead him to the main dancefloor, making sure Derek had the perfect view on you. Fitting to the music you started moving your body, swaying your hips, your hands wandering to your hair. The boy, you didn´t actually know his name, maybe he had mentioned it and you had forgotten, adapted to your movements. Within a few moments, your bodies moved in sync and you felt the distance becoming less and less. He took your hand, spun you around, so your back moved against his chest. He then leaned down to somewhat whisper in your ear. “I thought you didn´t have a boyfriend.” You shrugged. “I don´t.”

“Well then he looks jealous enough to be your boyfriend.” You didn´t even bother to glance at Derek, his statement was enough and you guided his hands on the side of your hips.

Derek on the other hand, couldn´t hold back anymore. Scott and Alison had sat down next to him, but now they watched as he made his way through the crowd.

Derek grabbed your wrist, you hadn´t seen him coming and pulled you away. “Hey!” You wanted to protest, but he leaned to the guy. “Leave her alone!”, he growled, but you pulled your wrist back. “Derek! Leave him!” Surprise to find you on his side, Derek starred at you. Rolling your eyes, you shook your head. “I need some fresh air.”

There was a back terrace, where many people sat to smoke and a staircase lead down the club and offered a second exit. You heard his steps following you as you hurried down. When you reached the bottom, he had caught up to you. The music now echoed in the background.

“Y/n, wait!” “What Derek?! What is it that you have to ruin my night of perfect fun?”

He went quiet, avoiding your glance and eyeing the ground. “I´m sorry, it wasn´t my place to give you orders.” “Damn right it wasn´t!” You huffed, not allowing your voice to go down and continually starring at him. “You know, if you wanted to dance with me, you could just ask!”

He looked up. “You would like to dance with me?”

“Of course, you idiot!” “Even though I can´t dance?” You let out a rough laughter, letting your shoulders slightly drop and relax a little.

“I don´t care, you could hold onto my waist”, you explained growing a little shy again. He smiled and carefully grabbed your waist to pull you closer. “So, you wouldn´t mind if I did that?”

He leaned down and kissed your lips. You smiled and removed your lips from his again.

“Not if you´re gonna do it again.” Now he smiled as well and kissed you again, this time more passionately and his tongue glided against your lips until you let him enter.

“Y/N, DEREK!” You parted to look up to find Lydia on the terrace. “Hate to interrupt you, but Stiles is throwing up!”

You both sighed. “I told him to drink less”, Derek muttered. You took his hand and he followed you up the stairs again. “Next time we´ll go alone.”

[volturialice]

Spork Haven chapter 23: salt fucking peter

welcome to spork haven, where I spork the EL James fic you’ve never heard of

previous chapter | next chapter | contents

previously on Spork Haven:

actor!Edward got an outlandish fucking award and became Best Actor!Edward! hotel maid murder witness cello prodigy orphaned ““cajun”” heiress!Bella was his date to the awards show! Ed looked into Emmett’s dark burning eyes and had a Moment! Bella felt dizzy and then went missing! will the Volturi mafia succeed in murdering her? let’s hope so stick around and find out!

warning: this chapter is incredibly long. please check the tags for content warnings—there are a lot! it’s eventful, though, so we’ll give it a pass. but settle in and make yourself comfortable. maybe go get a drink or something. I know I needed a drink after I read this garbage.

chapter 23 opens with Edward attempting to process the fact that Bella has disappeared. he does this in what I have to admit is a pretty seamless fusion of el james’s and stephenie meyer’s trademark styles (negative space here preserved for authenticity):

wow. eat your heart out, New Moon.

once we’ve experienced that bit of totally original typesetting magic, Edward leaps into action! 

just kidding. he’s “totally fucking immobilized.” paralyzed with fear, he “stifles a sob” and toys with whether to “wail, scream, and tear his hair out with impotence”

luckily, he’s very good at giving himself pep talks:

this bracing self-administered kick in the pants unfreezes him, allowing him to summon the mental faculties to go get Emmett.

Emmett clears the ladies’ room and calls for backup. He and Edward search the restroom and are joined by a rando Local security guard as they discover—gasp!—a secret second exit to the bathroom (shoutout to the phoenix airport womens’ room, amirite?) leading into a service tunnel.

the Local security guard informs them that the tunnel leads to an alley, but the alley’s only exit is onto Hollywood Boulevard. you know, the street currently clogged with limos, paparazzi, cameras, and fans. idk about y’all but I’m starting to think this kidnap attempt may have been just a tad poorly conceived. why kidnap her at all? they had ample time to kill her, dump her body in the service tunnel, and make their escape unencumbered.

as Ed, Emmett, and Local race down the service tunnel, Emmett radios for Jasper to go around and cut the Bad Guys off in the alley. Edward is the slowest of the bunch

so he quickly falls behind the other two.

he’s trying to catch up when—wait! what’s that on the ground? something...sparkly?

that’s right: he pauses in chasing after Bella and her kidnapper in order to notice “six thousand dollars’ worth of earring” lying on the ground.

then he stops and picks it up.

now, I know what you’re thinking, guys—is he seriously stopping to pick up a lost earring when Bella’s life is in danger?—but keep in mind, these earrings were twelve thousand dollars. also, Edward loves earrings! they make him horny! what else is he supposed to suck on at Bella’s funeral?

I mean, yeah, if your worst fear was that Bella might lose an earring.

what indeed, Edward. what indeed. 

imagine for a second that you’re Emmett in this fic. you’re a law enforcement professional racing to protect your charge’s life, bellowing into your walkie for backup, preparing to apprehend an armed and dangerous suspect in an area full of innocent civilians...when suddenly, from somewhere far behind you in the dingy gloom of the service tunnel, you hear the sniveling, British-accented voice of the bitchass manchild celebrity who’s tagging along:

“I’vE fOuNd hEr eArRiNg!”

jesus.

still ahead of Eddie boy, Emmett and Local burst out into the alley, guns drawn. Edward hears gunfire and is terrified for Bella as he finally catches up and arrives at the scene.

this is about where erika’s writing gets...incredibly confusing. and not in a POV, “we’re in the character’s head experiencing the chaos with him in real time” way. more like in a “several dozen drunk blind amputees playing Twister” way. this is my cute way of saying “it’s bad” and “I had to read it four times before it began to make sense.”

in the alley, all is chaos. a gun has just gone off

I’m sorry. salt...peter? saltpeter? did someone shoot off a Ye Olde Civil War Musket? I know fuckall about firearms and even I know they phased that shit out in the fucking 1880s.

and while we’re here, fun trivia fact about saltpeter: in Olden Times, people would ingest saltpeter in order to nuke their sex drives. silly Olden Times! if it’s a bonerkiller you’re after, all you have to do is read this fic!

ok, back to the alley. security are cordoning it off, keeping the “fucking jackal” paparazzi at bay (already?)

the LAPD are arriving (already??) 

but perhaps most interestingly,

real quick before we get into whose body it is, why we’re sexually objectifying it, and what it’s oozing, I just wanna draw your attention to the construction of that sentence. the artistry, if you will. below, I have replaced some of the nouns so that we may all appreciate the sheer poetry of the syntax:

“there’s a fucking meatball lying prone on the floor, all covered with cheese, a dark cloud oozing under the meatball.”

sitting a few feet away from the Skirt & Heels Body™ is Jasper, cradling the unconscious Bella. you could be forgiven for thinking that first body (you know, the oozing one) was Bella’s, because that’s what the narration wants you to think. the effect is somehow both enhanced and ruined by the fact that Bella’s actual body is mentioned in the next sentence. erika really tried to have her suspense cake and eat it too, with the result that by the time I finished reading this paragraph, I had absolutely no idea how many bodies there were or who they belonged to, which ones had on a skirt and heels, which ones were oozing, and where.

another excerpt I should probably share is the paragraph where we describe Edward reacting to this tragic pietà.

here’s our text, raw and unedited:

I can’t even begin to list all the ways this paragraph makes me uncomfortable, so I won’t attempt to.

anyway. remember how in the last chapter, there was an incredibly gay bit where Edward looked into Emmett’s dark, burning eyes? fasten your seatbelts because we’re about to blow that bit out of the water.

ｌｕｍｉｎｏｕｓ ｈａｚｅｌ ｅｙｅｓ

filled with

𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓃𝒶𝓂𝑒

the next sentence tries to take us back into heterosexual territory with

are we meant to understand that Jasper’s luminous hazel eyes are saying “don’t you just wish it was you getting to cradle Bella’s unconscious, injured body?” yes, that is exactly what we’re meant to understand. this attitude continues as Bella is loaded into an ambulance. at first, Jasper tries to stop Edward from coming, then the paramedic says they can both come but only if they sit on opposite sides of the ambulance like kindergarteners in Time Out.

l o n g i n g l y

the paramedics also checked the other body (you know, the oozing skirt and heels body) and Edward made a startling observation:

though oozing, the mystery person is still alive, and a second ambulance hauls off

and here I was thinking all this story needed to make it complete was some veiled transphobia! what a fun new direction for erika.

once at the hospital, Ed is banished to the waiting room with Emmett, Jasper, and Taylor. the doctors won’t let him see Bella, even when he tells them he’s her fiancé.

hmm. is it just me or is there a movie about this exact scenario?

yep, there are at least two movies about this exact scenario.

after the “fiancé” thing, Edward picks up on some bad vibes from Jasper

interesting. can you feel MY animosity hit you like a brick fucking wall? I guess it’s more of a brick fucking skyscraper at this point.

things we learn at the hospital:

Bella was roofied! so if you voted “poisoned” in the poll, I’m gonna give you this one. congrats on your victory.

Bella is fine now

Jasper shot the mysterious kidnapper in the chest. 

that’s right, Jasper is the cause of all the oozing. well done, Jasper. good luminous hazel eye.

finally, Bella wakes up and asks to see Edward. He goes back to see her 

and

she

dumps his ass.

not for any Sane People reasons, of course. having decided she’s “too dangerous to be around,” she breaks up with him in a scene straight out of New Moon, complete with “eyes full of tortured pain” and dialogue like

“You are too precious to me. Please. Go.”

Edward spends the whole scene in panicked denial, to the point where he’s practically gaslighting Bella, telling her she’s just been through a traumatic ordeal and she can’t possibly mean what she’s saying. 

then he interrupts her mid-breakup 

to fucking propose.

🤣🤣🤣 READ THE ROOM, BUDDY. Bella is resolute for the first time in her doormat life, turns down the proposal, and firmly breaks things off with Edward. he returns her earring (you remember, the six thousand dollar earring we paused in the middle of the climactic chase scene to pick up), “inhales her fragrant hair for the last time,” and leaves.

and with that, the chapter is FINALLY over.

possibility.mp3

best “fucks”

“level fucking head”

“a fucking microsecond”

“fucking sirens”

“loud fucking noises”

“enough fucking damage”

“a soothing fucking balm”

“fucking Hale”

“fucking purgatory” (the hospital waiting room)

“pale as fuck” (bella)

“fucking lifeless” (bella)

“non-believing fucking arse” (edward)

“like a fucking idiot” (edward)

best “shits”

next chapter: fucking blinds and curtains

[rcgreens]

                             olá vocês, tudo bem??? eu sou a mar e estou aqui humildemente fazendo minha entrada (oficial) na comunidade de 1x1! demorei pelo que? vergonha mesmo kfjands estou em busca de partners e plots gostosinhos para jogar e comemorar que estou praticamente de férias da faculdade. abaixo do readmore eu vou deixar ideias de plots que quero muito jogar, mas estou 100% aberta a sugestões e combinarmos plots juntxs e também saber o que vocês querem jogar, ou só conversar mesmo ué fkajds gosto de tagarelar!!! deixem um likezinho que chamo no chat ou já me chamem direto, tanto faz! enfim, let’s que let’s mores <3

observações: eu jogo smp com female muse, não sei bem explicar porque mas eu só me sinto mais confortável mesmo e consigo desenvolver melhor, espero que tudo bem <3  sou super tranquila quanto a fc, pode vir o que quiser! posso jogar com sideblog, no twitter ou telegram e adorooo musing inspo e conversar sobre ship, podem me encher fajsdnfaf  ah, os plots q eu escrevi sao bem “real life” eu diria??? mas gosto de jogar em determinados universos também, só nao tive ideias para agora KKKKK

FROM PRADA TO NADA: basicamente é de uma fanfic de mcfly que eu li faz um tempão e eu ainda amo a história! A família de MUSE A perde todo o seu dinheiro após um golpe e o pai dela pede para que uma amiga acolha sua filha em sua casa simples no interior para que ela não faça parte de toda aquela bagunça. Essa amiga é mãe de MUSE B que já julga MUSE A pelo primeiro olhar quando a vê chegando com milhares de malas. Mais uma patricinha, diria ele. Para MUSE A ele não passa de um babaca sem classe. Um love/hate bem gostosinho e que não fica velho, né? (ja tenho char praticamente pronta fkasnd)

MONDLER VIBES: MUSE A e B são melhores amigos since always e nunca pensaram em ficar até o momento em que passam uma drunk night juntos! O mais estranho de tudo é que aquilo não parece estranho, mas os dois costumavam ser tão ruins em relacionamentos que preferiram deixar escondidos dos outros amigos do grupo. quero demaisss (quem me conhece sabe como friends crazy fan eu sou)

OUR LAST SUMMER: Inspirado lá no filme mesmo, MUSE B tem queda abismo em MUSE A desde que a viu pela primeira vez no colégio e aquele é o último verão antes de saírem da cidade para a faculdade. É a única chance dele conseguir alguma coisa com ela, então cria coragem para chamá-la para um encontro e poderem aproveitar o restante do verão juntos. CUTEEE

UNTIL IT STICKS: “how many times jug? how many times are we gonna push each other away?” “until it sticks.” MUSE A e B se amam, mas sempre acontece alguma coisa que os separa. MUSE B acredita estar protegendo MUSE A agindo dessa forma, mas apenas a faz sofrer. Enquanto isso MUSE A quer mostrar que está ao lado dele para o que der e vier. MTTT angst

MY MIDNIGHT KISS: Festa de ano novo, todo mundo tem quem beijar, menos a recém solteira MUSE A que está irritada por isso. No desespero da contagem, então, ela beija MUSE B que estava ao lado dela sem hesitar. Acaba sendo um beijo mais intenso do que o esperado. Após aquele contato MUSE A agradece e se despede constrangida, deixando MUSE B sozinho ali. É claro, porém, que o destino não vai deixar fácil né? Quem vai estar em x lugar no dia seguinte? Ele mesmo, o beijo de meia noite.

BEHIND THE SCENES: Esse é clichezão, mas eu amo e quero demais! Uma vez eu tive uma personagem que era atriz e iria viver um relacionamento fake com um boy par romântico dela nos filmes mas que apesar de aparentarem serem os melhores amigos nas entrevistas ela o odiava, porque ela era atriz responsável perfeita, enquanto ele um completo pregui��oso, irresponsável, sem dar valor para nada!, nas palavras dela. é basicamente essa loucura que eu quero reviver!

APARTMENT PLOTS: Vi as inspos aqui e tem várias que me interessam muito!! Pensei muito nessa ideia de exes de escola ou faculdade idk e agora algum deles se muda e o vizinho é quem??? eitcha! ooou a simples ideia de minha personagem estar bêbada e chorando no corredor do bloco e seu personagem não sabe bem oque faz? nessa lista tem muita coisa legal galere, vamos que vamos

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION: Basicamente MUSE A e B estudaram juntos no colégio e nunca mais se viram depois dessa época. Agora acabaram de receber um convite para uma reunião de turma e se reencontram. Eles teriam alguma backstory no colégio. Podiam ter sido high school sweethearts, inimigos, se pegavam as escondidas dos outros amigos, idk, vemos isso <3

SUMMER CAMP: Meio super clichê básico, mas todos vêem que eu amo? Todos os anos essas duas escolas se unem em um acampamento de férias. MUSE A e B são de escolas diferentes e todas as férias entram em um nível de competitividade altíssimo. Estão agora no último ano do colégio e querem muito ganhar para fecharem aquela época com chave de ouro. Aparentemente se odeiam, vivem discutindo, se ameaçando, acusando o outro de trapaça, mas a verdade é que sentem uma super crush um no outro. 

SUMMER CAMP 2.0: Ainda de escolas diferentes, MUSE A e B ficaram durante o primeiro ano de acampamento. Parecia tudo bem até que um dos outros chegou no segundo ano com um namoradx. Aí ferrou tudo. Ciúmes, brigas, discussões, pegação, etc etc durante esses 3 meses

KEEP ME CLOSE: MUSE A é atriz desde criança e ficou extremamente famosa. durante a premiere de seu filme ela surta e sai correndo, tromba com MUSE B e implora para que ele a leve dali. MUSE B a carrega para sua casa em um bairro simples de classe média e lá a atriz implora para que a deixe passar a noite. Minha ideia é que um se surpreenda com o outro. MUSE A com a vida simples e animada e MUSE B com a humildade de uma garota tão famosa. Simpleszinho né? 

E MAISSSSS

clicando na frase você encontra gifsets que eu rebloguei e acho que dão bons plotss!

high school cliché, líder de tocida e jogador de futebol. siM KKKKK aaaa e gosto de plots com bebês tb aaaaaa

messy exes plot where they can’t get over one another no matter what they do and they always tell themselves they’re not gonna go back to them yet every time they get done with a date they end up knocking on the other person’s door and just jealousy and angst and heartbreak and crying because they don’t know if this is ever going to work out but they can’t walk away because this person is still their whole fucking world and they don’t know how to move on CREDIT

“i slept with you the other day and i didnt know we had a mutual friend and now we’re sitting across each other for brunch and it’s awkward because i ran out when you were asleep” CREDIT

“i met you when you stayed in my little beach town almost the entire summer when we were 15/16 and we had a summer fling and i’m pretty sure we were a little bit in love but then you left and we just kinda stopped talking and now i’m well into college and holy shit i ran into someone at a party that looks like an older version of you–wait that IS you??? and we’ve been going the same college the entire time?? and now i feel like i see you everywhere??? what the hell is this you’re even hotter than you were back then what the HELL” CREDIT

we dated once in college and i never got over you. now i’m a single parent because my ex didn’t want a kid, and holy fuck you’re my kid’s kindergarten teacher. (tenho uma char pronta para esse aaaa) CREDIT

“you broke my little sisters heart so i’m going to make your sister fall in love with me and do the same” plot??? CREDIT

“you’re my best friend but please be my fake boyfriend for my family Christmas party you’ll get free food and we’ll be at a nice cabin but my family always asks why I don’t have a boyfriend and I need this from you shit we slept together this is awkward” CREDIT

childhood best friends slash roommates who get immensely drunk one night and have sex and then just continue to keep doing it because that’s the only way they think they can have each other. spoiler: they’re both in love with each other and have been for years, but don’t wanna say shit about it because they’re afraid of losing each other. cue angst. CREDIT eu perdi o link oficial </3 mas vi aqui

‘we’re broken up but i never changed my emergency contact and now i’m in hospital and ?? why are you here first at my side you didn’t have to come�� CREDIT

also like … royal plots ?? yes please ?? someone give me an actress meeting a royal and falling in love ?? a royal falling in love with a commoner ?? arranged marriages between two royals ?? GOD pls (tenho char pronta tb fkansdkjfns) CREDIT

muse a and muse b work together at a cafe/restaurant but do not like each other at all and all they ever do is bicker and yell + curse at each other pls then one day muse a messes up the others order on purpose and muse bconfronts them angrily about it and there’s a screaming fight so they get so close to each others faces and breathe heavily AND THEN BAM THEY’RE MAKING OUT CREDIT

i just want a i have a famous boyfriend but i cannot tell anyone plot cause cute like going out at night and dressing him up so that people won’t recognize him, secret meetings at the closet and FUCKING inside the bus. until one day he starts dating some hot celeb and the other muse finds out online or on tv… CREDIT

[diaryoftypist]

Self discipline

Here I am, sitting on my bed, sipping coffee and ready to face my world.

This past period has been intense on me psychologically. I’ve been going through some super tough internal wars that I think were personality shaping kinda wars. I think this is me unlocking a new personality level. 

I’ve been at war with myself regarding the person I was in my relationship, regarding my relationship itself, regarding so many negative habits that I was hung up on. I was having extreme overthinking of what I’m doing in my life, How I wanna live my life and What if I suddenly die? I mean, how far from ready am I to face God?

A few incidences helped me think those thoughts through in the right direction. It all started with this day, I was praying and suddenly I broke. I broke down in tears, asking God to help me figure things out, placing all of my vulnerability in God’s hands. At that moment I had every cell in me believe that nothing, literally NOTHING else can make my mind clear, make my heart calm, other than God himself. I prayed with utter believe and truth, and then it just happens. It’s like a sudden ray of bright light got inside me. It felt like my brain was dusty and foggy and suddenly it’s pristine. My heart felt heavy and aching, and suddenly it felt at ease. It felt happy. Just like that. It’s like it was a snap from a finger. 

At that time I felt amazing, suddenly I could think very clearly, I could see what’s bugging me and what I was being a drama queen about. It’s like God lifted this heaviness off my chest. I don’t know about you, but it felt like a miracle to me at the time.

Anyways, that day was like a turning point. After then, I started getting my shit together, especially in the relationship department. I was being a bad partner. I was not a delight. I took a pause and tried to get back to my old self, and as imagined everything started getting back to normal. I’m still super thankful. Alhamdulellah.

And then the second turning point was one day, me sitting down to watch “The social dilemma” documentary. Which talked about how social media and technology being at the tip of our fingers is kinda truly ruining our lives. I had to take another pause. Try to evaluate what’s real from what is virtual, and trust me when I tell you that so much of it was virtual, to the extent that the line between reality and virtuality was almost invisible. And there goes my second challenge, getting myself out of that virtual vicious loop that got us under its mercy. I remembered when my left side of my brain had jobs to do. When I used to have all sorts of creative time, getting it out as sketches or music or even writing down my feeling like I am, now. And somehow I blame it all on social media. Sucking up all of our time and providing us with so much useless serotonin that we get hung up on. And I actually started the challenge, which is controlled usage of social media, only 10 mins in the morning, and 10 mins at night. It’s not easy because we’re kinda addicted, but with enough will, I’m actually doing it. almost a week in the challenge right now. I even miss some of my allowed social media time because I feel better off.

And then comes the third day of important realizations. I go to this religious/ spiritual classes every once in a while. I’ve been going there my whole life, since I was in kindergarten. Anyways, We haven’t met in a long time now because of the corona situation. Last week we finally had a long awaited gathering. During these kinds of classes we do is different from what normal religious classes here do. We don’t gather to read and memorize holy words, we gather to contemplate. To think. To think why are we here on this Earth? what’s our purpose? and what should we do to be on the right track? We usually have a theme and then we brainstorm around it, with supporting Ahadith and Quran. And guess what was last week’s new theme? It was about “What if we knew that our death is soon?” Deep, huh? We all know that we can die at anytime, any day. It doesn’t have to be when we’re 80 and old. It’s a fact. Nothing new, right? But, do we really remember it all the time? I don’t think we do. I, for myself, don’t. So brainstorming around that theme, we were asked each to name one thing we think we would definitely do if we knew our ending is soon. So many things were said, so many things came to mind. All of the sins that I made came rushing after each other in the back of my mind. But just 2 things were as if written in Bold and CAPSLOCK in my mind. *STOP BINGE WATCHING*, *START PRAYING FAJR*! They were just so clear in my mind that I couldn’t think of anything else. The day was over and we went on with out lives, but those words felt like they were printed on my mind now, along with the phrase “What if I die soon?”. It’s all too bold to ignore, right?

And I was at a good connection with God these days, I felt the positive vibe of getting my life together, with the new light heart and social media-free life. I decided to do it. why wait when I know this is the right thing for me? I decided to pray AlFajr. It’s always been such a hard thing to do. Waking up inside my cycle of sleep to go make wudoo’ and pray and interrupt my precious precious sleep? It always sounded impossible. Don’t ask me how, but I’m suddenly actually doing it. I set up an alarm for 5:30 am. And I wake up, turn it off, pray and go back to sleep. Everyday ever since, except just 1 day I failed. But still, Who knew that I could do it?? honestly I’m amazed at myself. And 2 days later I started the no netflixing thingy. Honestly, to me this is the hardest out of them all. Maybe because it’s the most I’ve been hung up on. But, so far so good. so YAY me.

I feel like this is one of my golden eras. I’m writing this all right now so that if everything eventually goes up in flames I can remember that I was once doing it all, and it can be done truly. And to remind myself that it’s all about reliance on God. The greatest of all. The only way out of anything, the only way to do anything. I was reading this book that said “As long as you only have God in your heart, and all your other beloved things in your hand not your heart, you’re doing dunya right”. I understand that now very deeply. And I feel the ultimate blessing that I have right now, that is God making me see that clearly, facilitating everything for me, getting me so many gifts I can’t even count them. I’m just super thankful.

So, here’s for a change one happy diary. something that I’d like to remember.

xx

[baekhyunspizza]

Emergency Room

Member: Chanyeol

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 1.7k

Synopsis: A late-night mishap lands you and an unexpected guest a visit to the emergency room. 

     “Another test, honey?” Ms. Lee asks with a sympathetic frown as I slide a tub of pistachio ice cream and a pack of Oreos across the counter. Her family owned gas station was conveniently located a two blocks from my dorm at the university, and it serves as my go-to consolement when I fall victim to the errors of Mr. Ko.

     “I just can’t catch break in my physics class. And I definitely didn’t need such a low test grade so close to Christmas. Mr. Ko couldn’t teach if his life depended on it,” I reply, the defeat clear in my voice. I actually went into the class feeling good about the material. But one poor exam and a fat red F later, I quickly learned that acceleration and velocity were not my forte.

     “Well, you tell Mr. Ko that if he keeps this up, he’s gonna have a very angry Hana Lee to deal with,” she says with a southern drawl, a teasing smile reaching her eyes.

     “I’ll make sure to relay the message. He’ll be quaking in his New Balance sneakers,” I laugh. Offering a small thanks to Ms. Lee, I grab my change and take my plastic bag from the counter. I check to make sure my barely-functioning keychain is securely attached to my belt loop, frowning at the little keys hanging onto the misshapen and cracked plastic ring. I wave once more in Ms. Lee’s direction before shuffling out of the store, a subtle chime indicating my exit.

     Small snowflakes begin to descend from the sky and I quietly thank myself for deciding to drive to the store instead of walk. Although the store is a mere two blocks from my dorm, I have enough street smarts to know that walking by myself at this time of night would be a stupid idea. That, and I’ve seen just enough episodes of Criminal Minds to make me incredibly paranoid. Just as I mentally applaud myself for my wise thinking, a warm, large hand covers my shoulder and I immediately stop in my tracks.

     “Miss,” his deep voice says.

     This is it, I think.

     It was actually happening. I knew my luck would run out eventually. I am going to die at as a broke college student, wearing my Mickey Mouse sweatshirt and my mom’s Levis from 1997. Holding a tub of pistachio ice cream.

     Why couldn’t I have an honorable death, like saving children from an oncoming bus or rescuing puppies from a burning building? I’d even settle for some sort of freak accident. But dying on a late night ice cream run is a little ridiculous. It sounds like something from a flopped murder mystery novel. I can see the newspaper headlines now. Girl Dies Buying Ice Cream from Abysmal Gas-Station. I can’t let myself die in such a humiliating situation. I have too much dignity. Clenching my jaw and balling up my fists, I wheel around on my heel and aim directly for the middle of his face.

     “What are you doi-” he asks with wide eyes, not being able to finish his question before my knuckles collide with his nose. Why don’t they emphasize how much socking someone in the face can hurt in the movies? I knew it’d sting a little, but I didn’t expect for my knuckles to feel like they were in split in half underneath my skin. Shaking out my hand to ease the pain, I look back to the man and see fresh blood gushing from his nose. His long, lanky legs stumble back and he bends over the waist, trying to avoid bleeding on his dark jeans and black converse. It drips onto the pavement in small crimson specks and I feel proud.

     Yeah, I did that. Go me.

     “Serves you right for trying to touch me, jerk,” I yell in his direction before hurriedly reaching for the handle to the driver’s door of my car.

     “You dropped this!” he hollers. The man waves a small object in his hand and I squint as an attempt to make out its shape. It catches the light of a nearby street lamp and glints a metallic pink color. Crap. Looking down at the keychain in my hand, I notice there’s only four keys instead of five. He begins to walk towards me with his palms outstretched in front of him. The universal sign of surrender.

     “I promise, I’m not gonna hurt you. You just dropped your key while you were fumbling with your bags so I was gonna return it to you,” he said, carefully pinching the petite key in between his thumb and index finger to avoid dirtying it with any blood. Up close, I see that he’s not a middle aged pervert. He’s probably only a year or two older than me. Wavy brown hair covers his forehead and his big eyes are wide with fear of being struck again.

     There have only been two other times in my life when I’ve been this mortified. Once, when I was five and had an accident on the first day of kindergarten out of nerves, and again when Bryce Taylor rejected me at the spring formal in eighth grade. But this….This might top the list. I probably just broke the nose of the guy.

     “I-I can’t believe I just did that I’m so sorry-” The words cannot come out of my mouth fast enough as I rush up to him and look up to examine his wounds.

     “Do you have anything to stop the blood?” he asks, turning his head to the side and spitting out crimson from his mouth. I rummage through my purse for anything that could possibly pause the continuous stream, but it’s a lost cause.

     “I don’t-I don’t have anything. Oh God it’s getting worse,” I start to panic as the flow seems to be getting heavier.

     “I’m driving you to the hospital.”

     “No, it should stop soon. I’ll be fine really,” he says looking at the ground, eyes widening at the large burgundy patches on the concrete.

     “No, we’re going. I’m not gonna be able to live with myself if I just leave you here with a broken nose in the snow,” I insist, leading him to my car. I unlock the passenger door and he ducks in, his height proving to be problematic inside my 1994 Honda Accord. Sliding into my seat, I ignite the engine and the vehicle roars to life.

     “I never got your name,” I say turning towards him.

     “I’m Chanyeol,” he replies, leaning his head back against the headrest.

     “Y/N. Sorry for breaking your nose,” I say sheepishly. Snow continues to fall outside, but not heavy enough to making driving difficult.

     “So...are you a student at the university?” he asks, trying to break the awkward atmosphere.

     “I’m surprised you’re being so cordial to me. But yes, I am.”

     “I figured I should get to know the person who’s driving me to the hospital. Maybe we can even be friends.”

     “But I broke your nose.”

     “I’m not one to hold grudges,” he says, and I laugh at his playful banter. I silently thank God for making him such a friendly individual.

     “Maybe. You should have my number, so you can send me any information about the hospital bill. I’d feel awful if you paid for it yourself since this entire thing is my fault.”

     “You think I’m gonna make you pay for the bill. I didn’t peg you for a jokester.’

     “I’m serious, I’d really feel better if you had it,” I insist, giving him my number in case he needs it.

     “Hey, Chanyeol?”

     “Yeah?”

     “Can you try not to get any blood on my seats? They’re leather.”

     “You broke my nose.”

     “Touché.”

--

     “Thank you, Dr. Nam. I would say I hope to see you again soon, but that wouldn’t exactly be the truth. At least, I wouldn’t want to visit again under circumstances like this,” Chanyeol says, shaking hands with the middle aged physician.

     “It’s my job, son. Maybe you’ll find a better way to approach young women at night,” Dr. Nam replies with a smile.

     “Fair enough,” Chanyeol laughs.

     I learned a couple of things about Chanyeol as we sat in the urgent care waiting room. He was a law student that grew up near the coast but moved to our small town this year to start settling down. He’s the only one in his family that decided to pursue their education and  go to college. He’s also an expert charmer.

--

     “So I never asked, but what was a pretty girl like you doing in a place like that old gas station?” he says, nudging my elbow with his. I look up from the magazine I’ve been reading to pass the time as we wait for his name to be called for a consultation with Dr. Bynes. I roll my eyes at his lame attempt to hit on me, but I smile at the corniness of it all.

     “Failed test. Needed some saturated fat and excessive sugar to ease the hurt. And what’s a pretty boy like you doing walking by himself late at night? Haven’t you ever heard of stranger danger?”

     “I’d like to not become strangers.”

     “I ruined your nose.”

     “Oh please. We both know my real moneymaker is my smile,” He flashes a thousand dollar grin at me and I laugh.

     “What’s so funny?” Chanyeol asks, confused by my source of amusement.

     “It’s just an odd sight. You smiling as your nose is broken and dried blood running down your face. That, and your tooth”

     “I’m known for my nice set of chompers.”

     “I chipped it.”

     “You did not,” he says, reaching for my phone and checking his front teeth in the reflection on my screen.

     “Guess the nose wasn’t enough.”

     “You know,” he starts, “you’re making it really hard to flirt with you.”

     “So what do you think? Could I pull off this look?” Chanyeol asks as we walk back to my car. His nose is covered in white bandages and all of the dried blood has been removed from his face.

     “I don’t know, Chip. The whole mummy vibe isn’t really working in your favor,” I reply, pointing to the gauze.

     “Chip?”

     “Your tooth.”

     “Does that make you Mrs. Potts?”

     “No way. She’s old.”

     “Well, I mean based on those jeans, I wouldn’t have a hard time believing you’re a mom of four,” I hit his arm and scowl at him.

     “Hey now, I don’t need you breaking my arm too,” he says as he pretends to wince in pain and rubs the spot where I hit him.

     “Dork.”

     He just smiles, chipped tooth and all.

[moonraccoon-exe]

It was not an emotional struggle. It isn’t me.

It’s my country.

I’ll be adding a Keep Reading line, because here comes a rant on why I was (or am?) in shock and decided to take a breath for a moment. But do know, it’s not my mental health, I’m fine in that aspect. It’s just that today was tragedy for my country, and I am...well, sad about it.

I’ve been avoiding telling you guys where I’m from on a side for mere fun of leaving you on doubt, and on the other side, because I was scared of your reaction towards it. Scared of being rejected, and scared because I know that no matter if you stay a friend to me, your perception is changing anyway because that’s how society has gotten us to mentally process. So as soon as I told you, you’d tag; tag my skin color (and miserably fail), tag my accent (and half fail), tag my favorite food and games and everything, tag everything.

Not to say my country is currently one of the most hated upon. For the sole reason of the Class Bully speaking shit about us until turning us into the bad guy. The aggressive, the idiotic, the barbarian.

You have no idea how scared I’ve been at times to say where I’m from because of the reactions. Because I know I’ll immediately be pulled fifty steps below everyone else. Because I’ll feel that you see me as uncultured, with no education, like a cavernman, and so...hated upon.

But I’ve never been ashamed of my country.

Scared of your reactions, of course. But ashamed of my country? Nothing in the universe will achieve that until my country itself proves me it is what the rest of the world thinks it is. Which I highly doubt; to watch its people with my own eyes lets me know what kind of people we really are.

You’re probably wondering where all this speech comes from. To be honest, I would have liked to continue keeping it a secret; that way the silly game of keeping you on question would stay up, and I’d save all that fear of being tagged and despised.

But today I cannot not speak about my country.

I can’t wait until the shock passes and then copy-paste happy kaomojis into a post telling you I’m back and happily bouncing around, pretending nothing happened. It feels like the most hypocrite thing to do, to continue posting all my happy things without mentioning it once. Like it didn’t happen. Like it’s not happening.

Like I didn’t just lose hundreds of sisters and brothers.

My dearest and most beloved México has gone through a terrible earthquake earlier today Tuesday. Here where I live, earthquakes are strange to be sensed; we’re on very high ground so if the city trembles, we usually don’t feel it. If we do, it’s because it was bad down in the city.

Today I felt it here home. And I felt it bad. 

Which could only mean one thing: the city was being destroyed.

And it is destroyed.

September 19 is/was also the 32nd anniversary of the worst earthquake the city has ever had, and, while on a minor scale, it happened yet again. There’s a great quantity of buildings that are now but debris, rock and dust. The number of deaths does but increase with every second. A kindergarten collapsed, a whole block of apartments, the building 500 meters from where my brother was having a job interview.

And I am so brokenhearted. Terribly, terribly brokenhearted.

I feel, no jokes, like when my grandmother died. I still senselessly and against all logic hope it’s all a joke. That tomorrow I’ll wake up to the news having a big sign that says “Haha just kidding”. I was downtown just yesterday, and next time I go there there will be rocks where there used to be buildings. That had people and pets inside.

I feel...so sad. When I watch the news and I see all these people crying, and all the destruction like somebody dropped a bomb or like it’s warzone...my heart aches. You have close to no idea how desperately much I love my country, so to see its beautiful core, its very same heart in this state...broken, in ruins. It hurts. It’s almost a physical pain. It hurts more than any personal experience. Because this doesn’t involve only me, this involves all my people and my sisters and brothers, and...all the people I lost, even if not knowing their faces or names. The fact that we all lived here makes us family. And even if we weren’t family, we’re still human beings. And it hurts.

In the news, as I watched the disaster, live, I saw my people, like always when these things happen and when not too, helping each other. Not only professionals but civilians too having joined into rescue missions one second after the earthquake. It was...it is fantastic. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve seen. Solidarity. Solidarity like only us mexicans know how to give.

And then I saw, live, the moment they rescued a person. Alive, breathing, conscious. Saved.

I saw, live, the moment people all kept quiet despite the paranoia, to listen, the moment they spotted where sounds came from, the moment they desperately but in an order I had never before seen my people do started digging out. And then the moment they brought her out, covered in dust, helped her onto a gurney. And the moment the crowd cheered.

Because they had saved a life.

Ohmygod, I feel terrible just remembering. It was both beautiful and terrific, one of the most beautiful and most terrific things I’ve witnessed, because unlike documentaries, this was happening while I was alive, while I exist, while I had people I love in there, this was far way beyond real, and it was past beyond overwhelming. I still don’t know how to feel. I just know it makes me cry and ache inside so, so much.

All day I was trembling and mentally paralized. I kept sewing because nothing else kept me entertained, and all the time I was waiting for something. For what? For the buildings to magically repair themselves so all people could walk out of them? For time to go back so they have time to escape? For the “Haha just kidding” sign on the news? Help from some gods? I don’t know.

I spent all day until just half an hour ago completely unable to contact my best friend. Where was he, if he was okay. I hated him with all my guts and entrails all day because he wasn’t responding anywhere. And I swore that I hated him so much, and I swore that if he didn’t answer soon I would stab him with a fork but wouldn’t want to kill him, because if I was hating him for something that was because I didn’t know if I could even kill him, or if some stupid ass piece of fucking rock had done it for me already.

Only a few moments after I typed that last entry apologizing for having to take a breath, I broke down. I think it was realizing as I typed that post that I was in shock what helped the shock be triggered, because I suddenly felt...like someone important had just died. I felt a void in my chest and like an internal punch to the lungs, and I had to bend down and go hold to a corner of my room, and I just continued to cry. I felt much more desperate than during the earthquake itself. So desperate, so desperate.

Thank the Astrals, after that I stopped trembling and felt much more calm, but not less sad.

Mi México lindo y querido, destroyed and suffering.

Southern states were already in literal ruins, have been for days now. They had a much bigger earthquake. And now the city, too.

Know that no matter what you think about my country or how you visualize it, I’m desperately in love with it, and it’s my biggest pride from above all things. So, like it happens when one sees the love of their life suffering, I’m currently in pain for the love of my life.

I believe I will be back to posting tomorrow or soon enough, because that’s how I know how to keep on; with good vibes and the spirit high on positive vibes. Not to say, on the selfish side, it’s a way to keep me...distracted. But do know, the pain inside isn’t fading, not entirely, in a good while. My México is destroyed, so am I. It’s in ruins, so am I. Always together, it and I. It bleeds, I bleed. It’s called loyalty. One of the things I’m proudest of about my country and its people.

I still have thousands of things to say, but I’ll keep it here for now. This is already too long and angsty.

If you read it this far, know that I’m both very embarrassed by knowing you know where I’m from and your vision of me has majorly changed even if we stay friends, and very proud of admiting it as well. And I’m very, enormously grateful that you took the time on worrying for this coon.

And I’m also profoundly touched inside. Horrified and proud, sad and happy. Overwhelmed. To the point I think I’m still in some sort of shock, even if I already cried most of it out. 

For the rest of the night, I’ll continue sewing because it keeps me calm, and send all my thoughts for the people that are living in a much bigger tragedy than mine. 

My city bleeds, and I ache with it. Because it’s part of me. Part of my system. And its pain is mine.

Today I lost hundreds, maybe thousands of sisters and brothers.

Today I have seen my concept of Life grow and change and turn into something much greater than before.

And today I do assure you that, just as people did 32 years ago, we will ache, and suffer, and scream, and cry, and it will take time,

But we will rise again.

We could do it back then, we can do it now.

The golden angel will fly again.

Thank you very much.  Whoever you are, I love you. 

Receive the tightest of hugs from this (currently) destroyed but strong mexican raccoon. 

I love you.

[j-wonwootrash]

Vernon || Earphones On

Word count: 4.3k Genre: Fluff, HighSchool!au, Romance, Slice of Life, slight drama A/N: Going for another AU with Vernon! Please DM me if your want requests! ^^ or post on my wall for drabbles! 

“How stupid.”

———

To you, he was your new school mate. To you, he was just some average guy who’s seemingly popular. To you, he was just a teenage boy who enjoys music than he enjoys studies. To you, he only saw you as a friend.

Hi-Bye friend, to be precise. You were just a normal student trying the very best to do good in studies and get into university. You wanted to at least enjoy school life before graduating high school. That was your aim, well honestly? You want to level up your confidence to talk to Hansol Vernon Chwe. 

It wasn’t like you gave out any weird vibe to the students in your school, they don’t hate you at all. You just stand out so much everyone had their eyes on you, making it harder for them to approach you, let alone starting a conversation.

Why you ask? You always had earphones on. Due to childhood trauma; kindergarten- you decided to isolate yourself from the world- the world of negativity, the world of unfairness, the world of bullying, that is. Your self-esteem have lowered, much more than any person could imagine.

“Y/N has something strange plugged in her ear!” “What is that??” “Don’t you know what that means?? She can’t hear properly.” “I heard it’s like she hears bees all the time!” “Ooh! Bzz bzz”

All the more you thought it wouldn’t take a toll on you, you ignored these ‘bullies’ and lived your life the way you do until now. Except you tend not to show anyone other than your expressionless face.

This year you checked the name list of students who’d be in the same class. With your hands in the pockets of your school blazer, fiddling the music pod for the song you desire to listen. You memorized the song list by heart even if the pod’s button-less, touch-screen. Light hums escaped your lips as the melody of the song began to play.

Words I can never hear from you, yeah. I remember your words, whoa. Telling me just to stay by your side. Why does my wounded heart keep searching for you? Why am I the only one in pain? Why do I miss you all day like this again?

It was funny how you don’t get caught by homeroom teachers when you use electronics. Moreover, it seems like they don’t really mind. They look at it as a helping element for concentration in studying. As long as you keep up with your grades, they wouldn’t confiscate it.

Your found yourself getting closer to the board, your fingertips touching the new printed paper. Searching for your name- no wait, his name, came under the section of class 2. Soon after you found yours, just at the next column. You smiled a little for a while, only to be swept away by the two words: Class 3. 

Shoot. It was so close. Well literally your classrooms are, but you felt a bit of disappointment for not being classmates with him again this year. You sighed and pouted, not noticing your friend already giggling at the face you made.

“I never knew you could make such expressions, Y/N.” Yewon slightly pushed you from the side. “You rarely show us any.”

“Oh Yewon, you’re here.” You took out your right earphone bud. “That’s kinda mean, I have feelings too.”

“Yes I know you have a good heart.” She eye-smiled, like she always does. “Shall we go? Let’s be seatmates.”

“Likewise.” You smiled, making Yewon giggle again.

“You should smile often. It suits you.” She skipped and hop beside you as you both headed to the classroom. Thinking about her compliment, you agreed to express more. It’s not gonna ruin you, right?

———

The homeroom period ended with the promotions of clubs and societies, as well as their sign-ups. You didn’t know which club to join, so you left the deciding for tomorrow. It was already lunchtime and you weren’t that hungry anyway. 

The school recently renovated the classrooms with new tiles and wider windows; everything felt brand new despite studying there for a year. Your seat was the beside the corridor, meaning you could be able to ‘concentrate’ with all the noise that passes by. What is worse was that these ‘wide windows’ didn’t have curtains, even when you sit down, you’re still seen from the outside. You sighed as you slide the window sideways, resting your hand on the little vanity attached to the window.

“Air-conditioned schools sure are nice to be in.” You said to yourself. Again, you played your song list, continuing the song that was interrupted earlier. You enjoyed the view across from your classroom, where you imagined the sounds of the crashing leaves from the trees. When everything was calm and so was your inner soul, you closed your eyes, listening to the melody of the song. 

“Vernon-ah! Wait up!” Seungkwan called the boy, running to catch up to him.

“No way I’m gonna join with you in the school play!” He laughed as he ran so swiftly without bumping to anyone in the corridor. “Oops- Sorry- Excuse me ladies.” He said, earning a giddy reactions from the girls.

“Come on! It’ll be fun! Woozi-hyung will be the composer!” The latter breathed heavily.

The beats of the song soon came to an end when you heard laughter and screams you assume the people making those are close by. You ignored it and continued to appreciate nature.

Vernon passed by many classrooms, still running away from Seungkwan. “Fine I’ll join you if you’re able to catch me!” He looked back at the boy, already meters away from him. Seeing this happen, he cheered. “Yes! You’ll have to convince me for another year, Kwannie!”

You brought out your music pod, sighing again because it was nearly dying. You felt a boy brushing pass in front of you, making you startled. You were happy your earphones were still on but your pod left your grasp, crashed and stepped on, by a guy you never thought would break it.

“Oh my g- I’m so sorry! I’ll make it up to you!” Vernon panicked as little shattered pieces of your pod soon became many. He picked it up and handed it you, cheeks tinted pink from the obvious fault. He looked at you, who was not giving any emotions at all. 

“I’ll pay for the damage!” He bowed as he waited for an answer, hoping you won’t be mad.

“It still works.. Don’t worry.” You said so softly only Vernon could hear it. 

Vernon looked up to you and he had a surprised look on his face. “Really?”

Before your face flushed with hot blood and pure embarrassment that will result in a bright red color, he grabbed the other half of the earphone and plugged it in his ear. “Whoa it still does work!” This is great!”

Like a movie, there were usually the ‘slow-mo’. And you thought maybe this was where and when it actually happens. He’s in front of me right now. He’s freaking being is in front of me! How should I react? You held your breath as you saw his grin slowly turn into a smile. Gosh you’d be lying to yourself if you say you weren’t feeling giddy. 

“T-the screen’s may be cracked but there’s no internal damage to it. Just the external..” You filled your cheeks with air and eventually turned into a bubble, glancing from side to side. You see some of the girls staring at you and Vernon, wondering how you got his attention and not theirs. 

“I know this song. I’m glad to know someone else listens to this. Not a lot of my friends know this, not to mention a girl. Hehe.” He touched the earphone to listen to it carefully.

You heard Seungkwan’s voice echoing in the corridor. “Vernon!!” The boy heard his friend and took off your earphone. “Oops. gotta go! Catch ya later. Miss..?”

You remained emotionless but happy inside since he asked for your name. “Call me Y/N.”

“Y/N.. Class 3.” Vernon repeated your tone as he trailed off. “I’ll remember you.”

You nodded and he left, skipping and later running as Seungkwan tried to catch him.

“Catch ya later” he said. Will you see him any sooner? Because for sure you heard your mind says no but your heart says yes.

———

Lunch break came and you walked around the cafeteria, searching for a place to sit. Yewon couldn’t make it to lunch since she has a meeting to attend. You’re all alone and you didn’t mind because you’re used to it. As you sat down, you checked your phone, scrolling through social media. You giggle inside as you watched short clips and funny memes.

A finger tapped the table, stopping your enjoyment. “May I join you Y/N?” Recognizing the voice, you looked up so fast just as your heart beats for him. Vernon was in front of you again. You tried to keep a stoic face on as possible, in case he notices your feelings for him. He sat down, smiling. You wondered why he could smile all the time. 

It was awkward. You thought it wasn’t. Stares started to build up, along with whispers. Again you felt your self-esteem started to lower. To break the silence, he started the conversation. “Seems like we got an audience.”

You gulped as he grinned, munching on his burger and fries. You agreed and decided to talk to him. But as you looked around, these ‘girls’ were giving you gritted teeth and stares that were as sharp as a knife, making you sweat a little. Instead of wanting to talk to Vernon or talk to him in a friendly manner, you spit out words you never thought you’d say.

“Don’t talk to someone like me. If you do, I’ll ruin your reputation.” You placed down your drink after sipping it.

“How stupid.” He paused. “I don’t care how people perceive you.” He smiled once again. When he looked at you, he couldn’t help but wonder why you had earphones on. It was almost as if you couldn’t spend the day without them. “Can I ask you something?”

Once he received a nod from you, he took a last bite from his food. “Do you love music?”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Of course I do. I listen to them all the time.“ You pointed your earphones. “Why do you think I always have them on?” You wiped your mouth with a tissue. “And besides, to me music is a childhood liking.” 

“Childhood liking indeed. But is it to the point where you can’t take them off? I’ve never seen you remove them.” You paused at his accurate observation. “You’ve been observant. Well it’s because..” Should I tell him or not? Whatever you rarely get a handsome boy asking you about your life. Not entirely though. 

“It’s a childhood trauma, actually.“ You forced a smile, trying not to remember the painful memories that hooked your heart for life. ”You’re looking at 1 of 10 people who has a rare hearing disease. Hearing aids make me uncomfortable. I thought earphones could be a good alternative. Y’know, escaping the world.“ 

Vernon’s heart ached as he try to understand and he sympathizes you. “Whoever bullied you before should get a life. Having it doesn’t make you different, it makes you a little more special.” 

You giggled at his comment, and he blushed a little at your voice. “Hahaha. Thanks for the comfort and encouragement, Vernon.” 

“Anytime.” He folded his arms as he continue to admire you. Have you been this cute? He thought. You rarely smile and seeing you like this made him want you to show more sides of you.

He remembered something and wanted you to come along. He gestured you to follow him. When you insisted on not going, he grabbed your wrists and pulled you out of your seat. 

The girls in the cafeteria started to murmur and whispers filled the air. 

“She made him to use her earphones and now they’re holding hands?!”  “They don’t suit each other. Seriously!” “He should be everyone’s!”  “Poor Vernon. She should be ashamed!“ 

Hearing them made you feel bad, but the grip Vernon did told you that everything will be fine. 

He turned around to face you, giving a light peck on your cheek. “Don’t mind me doing this. It’s just to keep the girls off you. They’ve been at you since we met earlier at your classroom.“ He whispered to your ear. 

“Wait wha-?“ You looked at him, eyes so wide you feel like they’ll pop anytime soon. He’s that observant?? His hand pulling you behind his back tells you to stay with him. You realize you have no idea where he’d be taking you. 

“Where are we going? Where are you taking me?“ You asked as you both walked faster. 

“As you can see, you’re coming with me; Unless you have a problem with that?” 

“N-Nothing..“ You confessed. “It’s just so sudden. Y-you.. making a move so quickly.” 

He turned around from time to time to check if you were okay. “At times like this I knew I had to make a move.” The smile on his face assured you to trust him on this one. 

Once you reached the music room, you were taken aback a bit. There were 12 other guys and 6 girls looking at your way. 

You tilted your head. What’s going on?

“Woozi has great instincts to anyone his ears hears. And apparently he heard hers. It’s definitely her.” You heard Seungcheol, the one in jet black hair.

“You heard my voice without knowing who I am.” You blurted out. Oh man did I just say it out loud?

“Your identity…” Woozi spoke up, pointing to your earphones. “It’s not hard to find you, honestly speaking.”

———

“Alright alright I’ll agree to join as Vernon’s duet.” You gave a slight irritated look. “Just this once, it’ll be my first and last. Okay?” It didn’t feel like you were obligated to it nor you were forced to join their play, it was only to change your reputation as the odd one out, and to keep the girls off you.

“Thanks Y/N. We’ll be needing you big time.” Woozi gave you pat in the back.

“The duet we’ll be performing is a song I wrote.” He gave you sheets of paper. “It’s called ‘Sickness’. Most of it will be in rap but this is where you come up.” He grabbed your now cracked music pod and plugged your earphones into this laptop, later wearing the other half. 

You nodded as you slowly absorb the tune and melody. Vernon started rapping. The clear lyrics he spoke were so right, they were as if they relate to you, no, it’s as if they were for you. Sitting there as the other practice choreography and acting, tears fell as you listen to Vernon.

Where did it go wrong? I keep asking myself “Who can I blame?” Is there even a person to blame from the start? This problem isn’t anyone’s fault But maybe it’s me for acting however I wanted I wanna go back, back to the days When things were simple Before any of the things I regret happened I wanna go back and make things new I wanna see a me that’s different from now A me who is not miserable anymore Who is not alone anymore But the me right now is miserable and alone But the past is the past and I know I can’t go back

Suddenly, nothing remains around me I wanna erase the past But those things made me now Unerasable memories make me ache

“So what do you think? Pretty easy right?” He looked at you who’s paper’s now drenched with tears. “Oh my go- Y/N?? What’s wrong?” Without a word, you left the room. 

“Vernon what happened?” Joshua came to boy. 

“I-I don’t know.. I was just rapping and telling her parts and the next thing I saw she’s crying.”

“Maybe she’s just tired and pressured. Give her a rest.”

Vernon couldn’t keep calm, he wondered if he had done something to make you feel this way. He ran to chase you, but he couldn’t find you anywhere. He got a paper and pen, and put into the gaps of your locker.

———

Hours turned to days and days turned to weeks. You haven’t showed up for practice and you were feeling guilty of it. Why did I run away? I shouldn’t have. You slopped yourself onto your desk.

Yewon came and hit you on the shoulder. “Yah how long are you going to keep this act up? Vernon can’t stop bugging me about you. You have to see him.”

“I don’t want to and I can’t..” You whined. 

“..can’t face him?” Yewon sat you up. “That was a stupid move! I can tell you like him! It was your chance of getting to know him and you blew it off! Out of all girls, he chose to talk to you, not to mention being his partner for the play.”

“I don’t like him!” You butt back, pointing the fork to her. “I don’t.”

“Really now? You’re denying it after I’ve seen your behavior when he’s around?” She smiled. “Let’s see. You hide behind me when you see him in the hall. You pretend to sleep when you caught him looking at you. You divert your walk when run into him in the cafeteria. And you give little peeks in the practice room twice a week after school at 4!”

Your eyes widened at her as a meatball fell from your fork. “And who told me that she doesn’t like Vernon? Ah I know.. You.” Yewon bowed as she expected a clap from you.

“For a stoic, statue, emotionless person like me, you’ve done your research well.” You continued eating.

“It’s an obvious fact of a girl in love. We girls tend to do so many ways to avoid the boy we like.”

You got up from your desk and walked to the wall of lockers. “Stop it.”

“Admit it Y/N! I’m correct!” She chased after you.

“Ugh, what if I am?” You turned the codes of your locker. “It doesn’t change the fact I ran away from him!” Taking the books for the next class you saw a paper fell. “What’s this?”

You unfolded the paper and see numbers you didn’t expect to have. “Ugh Yewon.. What did I do to deserve his kindness? He’s kind but sly.”

“No actually I think he’s clever to do that. He reached out to you. It’s your loss if you didn’t. If I were you, I’d contact him after school.”

———

You stared at the note Vernon gave you.

|| Y/N, I won’t invade your feelings and I’m sorry if I hurt you, though I’m not sure if I did. I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk in person. I’m okay with it but, here’s my number in case you didn’t change your mind. xxxxxxxxxxxxx. ~ Vernon

I shouldn’t call him. I’m too embarrassed. You decided to text him instead. Gathering up your courage, you clenched on to the note as you began typing his number and message. 

Vernon stayed in the room, continually listening to the song, on repeat. With the boys doing their own thing, he only lay there.

He felt his phone vibrate, hoping it would be his little sister. Instead, he saw you name. “Y/N..” He said your name in a whisper. 

|| Y/N: Hi Vernon.. Got your number.. Yay? *smile emoji* - 16:08

Vernon sat up vigorously, making the boys look at him in a weird way. “Crap guys, she messaged me.” He covered his lower half of face with his palm, trying not to show his friends how red he was.

“Yah those who bet Y/N would not text him back, give me your money!” Dokyeom stood up, gesturing to the ‘losers’.

“Took her long enough.” Jeonghan grinned in evil, elbowing Dokyeom in way of winning.

Vernon smiled at his phone, sending you a message. 

Vernon: Hey Y/N! I waited for your message/call for weeks. *puppy sticker*. Btw, this puppy looks like you. - 16:08

You didn’t know how fast he would reply or how you will message back. In fact you still feel embarrassed that you ran away.

Y/N: Woof woof? - 16:09

He chuckled at your reply. Pfft hahaha. She’s so cute. He thought.

Vernon: Meet me at the practice room. I’ll be here. - 16:10

———

You ran to the practice room, deciding from now on you’d be giving your time to the short play. Sliding the door of the studio, you see Vernon, alone, rapping his lines. He’s good as always. 

Slowly you walked behind him, but the music blasted his earphones so loud, you could hear your part coming in.

If I hold onto you, you fling me off Even if I shed tears, you don’t say a thing In your eyes that look at me I see my late regret, it hurts

Vernon got startled as he heard your voice resonating the acoustic-built room. He hasn’t heard your voice, so you standing in front of him got his mouth agape. “I’m here..” You smiled as you shrugged your shoulders.

He didn’t know how to react. The you everyone else hasn’t seen, he saw it- that smile. He felt like the person should be protecting you is him. You’re expressionless attitude got him curious and the more you show him sides of you, he can’t help but fall in love. 

“Is there something wrong?” 

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Vernon smiled. He didn’t know why his heart feels this way when you were around. His chest tends to compress in all kinds of levels, even if he saw you at a distance during your avoidance to him. 

“Can we practice my part again? I haven’t warmed up.” You scratch your neck. With Vernon, you’re completely at peace. Completely yourself. I think I like him. 

You stared at his eyelashes, his hazelnut brown eyes. “I wonder when it was.. That you became such an important part in my life..” he whispered.

“Maybe since you kissed me on the forehead?” 

You snapped back to reality. Again did I say it out loud??

“Don’t worry, I was wondering the same thing too.” He smiled at you, getting the same response from you.

Ah.. She smiled again.. And my heart’s acting weird when she’s here. He held his chest, and tapped it. 

“My boy Vernon, tell her you like her!” Mingyu hissed softly as Wonwoo covered his mouth, careful not to expose the boys’ hiding, especially in a cramped room. They peeked through the window and curtains.

“Vernon, I’m sorry.” You started, making the boys in the back room panic. 

“Oh my gosh is Vernon getting rejected??” “This will be lit!” “Hurry and record it!” “Calm down guys she might not be rejecting him.” “Shut it Woozi you’re such a moment-breaker.” “I was stating the fac- HEY!”

Vernon remained quiet as he listens to you. “I’m really sorry.. That I ran away. I was so selfish and only thought of myself. The song you wrote it’s good I like it but I can’t help but think it was for me and-”

“Forgiven.” You look up to him, eyes glistening from the sunlight outside. “It was a coincidence, that the lyrics matched with your condition. In fact, if the song touches you, it’s just a reminder for me that I did a great job.”

You gulped at his words. “You’re not angry?”

“There’s no reason for me to be.” There he smiled again. “I think I finally understood girls, now that I-”

Your body went ahead of your mind and heart. You hugged him. “I’m glad I’m not troublesome.” Letting go of him, you giggled as you looked at the boy you had your eyes on since. 

“Oh my go- They hugged!” “My boy has grown! I ship it!” “Does this mean we’re Y/N’s brother-in-laws??” “Calm down guys it’s just a simple friendly hug, nothing more.” “Shut up Woozi you’re a such a bad shipper.” “You’re all so dense why can’t you- HEY!”

“Can you stop?” Vernon’s voice grew deep. Your heart beat faster than norm. “Can you stop for a while? You showed me different sides of you all at once. At this rate my heart is going to explode, I don’t think-”

“Then let it explode.” You said straight forwardly, not looking at him. “I know my face is red, please don’t make it more red..” Agh why are we at the point of confessing?

“I think I like you.” Vernon said softly. “If you’ll return my feelings, I’ll leave the right earphone for you. If not, I think I can handle the outcome.” He turned around and hit the play button of the duet song.

“Isn’t the answer obvious?” You said as you took his earphone, sitting next to him. You can feel Vernon tense up a little when you rested on his shoulder.

“I think I like you too.” You giggled.

At this point, you heard laughter and cheers, slowly echoing the room. “Alright those who bet that Vernon and Y/N won’t end up together, give me your money!” Dokyeom yelled. “Ugh why do you always win??” Dino whined. “Bets like these should be done from the heart.” Dokyeom said as he hit his chest with his balled fists. “That’s so cringey!” “Get away!” “Yahh!”

You didn’t bother with all the sounds and noises because all you thought was you’ve achieved your aim- enjoy high school and talk to the boy name Hansol Vernon Chwe. 

Right now all you cared about was the boy beside you, who’s sharing you his earphones.

[theygotmewhipped]

Skin - 5. Hospital

Word Count: 3 876

The day off. I finally have a day off and the exact same day he has to start his day early with loud ass music.

I barged into his room. “Are you for re…?!” I stopped in my tracks. I stared at him with mouth a gap, holding onto the doorknob completely frozen. Chanyeol was sitting on his bed with a guitar, entirely naked, reciprocating the same wide eyed gaze. We stared at each other for a while before I spoke up. “So you are a musician, huh?” I pushed out of my mouth awkwardly.

“You sleep without pants.” He answered in a daze, gazing below my face. I looked down and hurriedly pulled my T-shirt as low as possible over my laced underwear. I was so pissed off he woke me up that I haven’t even realized I’m almost naked.

“Fuck you, Chanyeol!” I yelled and ran out of his room.

As expected, breakfast was awkward. Both of us avoided making an eye contact and neither of us said anything. We sat across each other in silence. Not that we usually talk but Chanyeol always tries to make a conversation while I let out annoyed sounds like an aggravated walrus in the morning. However, this silence was making me more uncomfortable than his friendly attempts.

“So what are you up to today?” I looked at him. It sounded more forceful than I thought it would. I really suck at small talk. Chanyeol looked up from his plate still looking like an animal about to be slaughtered and gulped down the food.

“I’m going to hospital.” He somewhat carefully answered like he was scared of me or something.

“Are you sick or hurt somewhere?” I knitted my brows. He looks perfectly fine to me.

“Are you worried about me?” His face lit up. My job here is done, he’s back to being his babyself.

“As if. I just want to be sure that I won’t catch something from you.” I rolled my eyes.

“No need to worry, only thing you can catch from me is a smile.” He smiled so hard that his cheeks popped out like small pillows. “I’m going to children’s hospital to cheer them up a little. You know like a charity work or community service. I’m gonna play them some songs. That’s why I was practicing this morning. Bring them toys. Play with them for a while. Poor kids have to spend their childhood in the hospital without knowing if they’re ever gonna leave that awful place so why not make them a few pleasant memories and bring smiles to their faces at least for a brief moment.” He talked on and on. I just stared at him with a blank expression. He really is strange. He doesn’t even know any of those kids. Why would he waste his own time on someone who has no future and few months to live at best just to make them smile? What kind of thinking is this? What does he gain from it? Nobody is selfless enough to do something without expecting something in return.

“Why would you do that?” The question slipped out of my mouth without me even realizing it until Chanyeol stopped talking and his smile fell off his face.

“Do what?”

“Waste your time on something so useless.” No sooner have I said it his face clouded with anger for the first time since we met.

“Says the one who spends hours a day watching Netflix.” He criticized me.

“At least it gives me something in return. What do you get for faking a smile in front of dying children giving them false hope for better tomorrow?” I attacked him.

“I’m not faking anything! I-” he took a deep breath. “You know what, why don’t you come with me and experience it for yourself?” he offered me kindly, his anger forgotten. “Maybe you’ll finally at least peek out of that shell you live in so comfortably.” He stood up and cleaned after himself.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” I snapped at him. He gave me a brief annoyed glance and went to his room. Why is he so angry just because I asked him a normal question? And what was the shell thing supposed to mean? I don’t live in any goddamn shell. What an asshole.

I finished my breakfast and sat down to play some video games. I was about to complete another mission when Chanyeol stepped in front of the screen.

“Shit, move away, fuckface!” I tried to see around him.

“We’re leaving.” He pushed the shutdown button on the TV.

“Hey!” I exclaimed. “What are you even talking about?” I put away the controller.

“The hospital. We’re leaving.” He simply answered. Usually he is more talkative.

“I never said I was coming with you.” I frowned.

“I don’t care.” He stepped closer and grabbed my hand. “You are going with me.” My hand started itching from his touch. He pulled me up and dragged me into the hallway. Whoa, who is this guy and what did he do to the bubbly Chanyeol I’ve lived with so far.

“Wait, wait, wait.” I rammed my feet to the ground, trying to pull away from him. It didn’t do much to slow him down or to free myself, but he eventually stopped. I stared at my hand that was by now completely engulfed in flames that were slowly spreading further. I have to make him let me go or else this will get ugly. “Okay, fine, I’ll go with. Let me brush my teeth and change out of my pajama at least.” I gave in. He finally let go off my hand, stopping the flames but leaving it throbbing with the lingering feeling of his touch and walked into the living room.

“Make it quick.” He said sternly and plopped down on the couch. Well, angsty Chanyeol sure is a new. Why did I even give in for fucks sake? I really don’t wanna go to a place where people die and everything smells like bleach. But if I opposed he would probably just grab me and carry me there like a sack of potatoes since he’s so adamant about it and I really ain’t risking that. Him grabbing my hand out of nowhere was enough.

“I’m ready.” I stood in front of him all dressed up.

“Took you long enough.” He muttered. Geez, where is the I wanna shine brighter than the sun Chanyeol? Who is this gloom?

Chanyeol drove us to the hospital and then led me inside. The second we entered the ward, few kids spotted us and ran up to us.

“Yeolie! Yeolie!” “Did you come to play with us again?” “Will you play us that song you played last time?” They talked over each other. How often does he come here? I stood behind Chanyeol peeking from behind his back to not get too close to the kids.

“I’m gonna play whatever you want me to.” He said cheerfully, bending down a little. “But you have to let me get through first, okay? I have to tell aunt Hana I came to visit.” So I get a cold shoulder ever since the morning and now he’s all honey. I looked at the kids as we walked to the nurses’ office. Some wore bandages, some didn’t have any hair, and few walked around with drips. I really hate hospitals.

“Oh, Chanyeol, you are here again.” A young nurse welcomed him with a huge smile. Then she spotted me and her smile froze. “And you brought a…” she waited for him to finish. I couldn’t help but smirk. She’s head over heels for him. This is hilarious. I bet she thinks I’m his girlfriend. I wonder what would happen if I said I were his girl. Watching the hope for getting him slowly disappear from her face. I’d love to see that… Oh, wow, I’m quite a horrible person when I think about it. I won’t do it though. Chanyeol’s mad enough as it is. I’m not gonna ruin him a potential relationship. Not after I ruined his first kiss. I’m not that evil. Although he seems to be kind of oblivious to the fact that she likes him.

“This is my friend Yumi.” Friend? What are you talking about, boy?

“Just a flat mate actually.” I corrected him. “Nice to meet you.” Her relief was noticeable from miles away.

“Nice to meet you, Yumi. I’m Hana.” She politely smiled at me. “The common room is ready so you can play with the kids there. I’m sure you know the way. I’ll come check up on you when I’m done with some paperwork.” I watched her as she blushed the whole time she talked to Chanyeol. Who gets flustered talking about something so trivial?

“Alright, see you later then.” Chanyeol smiled at her and left the office. Geez, she looks like she’s about to melt in to a puddle.

“Can I cra…?”

“Yumi, let’s go!” I wanted to stay in the office but Chanyeol came back for me and dragged me out. We walked through a hallway into a room that looked like classroom in kindergarten. Bunch of kids were already there. “So what do you want to do first, munchkins? Play some games or create something?” Upon seeing Chanyeol everyone’s face lit up.

“Sing us a song!” A little girl yelled. And here comes my headache. Why are children always so loud?

“Okay, Sally. But first I’ll introduce you someone.” Chanyeol had a permanent smile plastered on his face. “This is my friend Yumi. She’ll have fun with us today as well.” He put his hand on the back of my neck. I stepped away from his touch and forcefully smiled.

“Hi.” I waved at the kids.

“Hello, Yumi.” They said in unison. Um, that’s creepy, I want to go home.

Chanyeol took out his guitar from the sleeve and sat down on the chair in the middle of the room. Kids sat down in a half circle around him watching him intently as he strummed first accords. He covered Day6’s I Wait acoustically singing it in his own way giving it a completely different and unique vibe. I stood leaning against the wall watching over the whole scene. The younglings were mesmerized by him and he looked blissful, smiling the whole time, his eyes sparkling looking from kid to kid. I think, I haven’t seen him like this, yet. He’s always happy and hyped and all but this time he’s completely shining and radiating positive energy around himself. Is it the kids or the music that makes him so joyful?

During the chorus he turned to look at me, and all the gazes from the kids followed. Fuck, don’t stare at me, you dirty little things. It’s making me nervous. I looked at Chanyeol in panic but he was looking like a small innocent baby at me which made a shiver run down my spine. Great way to make me uncomfortable. Thanks, Chanyeol. With faked smile I quietly urged the kids to watch Chanyeol instead. My attempt was successful and I slid down the wall in relief. I wish I was somewhere else. Preferably alone on a deserted island. I closed my eyes and tried to relax a little. As I was taking deep breathes I focused on Chanyeol singing. He’s actually pretty good and his voice is so soothing.

Before I knew it, he was done with the song.

“Now kiddos, choose what you wanna do.”

“Sing us another song!”

“I will after lunch, now we are gonna play some games, okay?” He made the decision for them.

“Yay!” The kids started to banter about what to do. I was still zoned out leaning against the wall.

“You are smiling.” A soft voice came out right next to my ear a breath hitting my skin.

“Huh?” I opened my eyes in shock and moved away from the source. “What are you doing?” I scowled at Chanyeol who was squatting next to me.

“We’re going to play some games. You should take part as well.” He stood up and went over to the group of kids. Can’t I just lie down somewhere and sleep? I sighed and stood up. Out of nowhere a girl tugged on my sleeve.

“Yumi, Yeolie said you can braid my hair.” I looked over at Chanyeol who was encouraging me with his face to do it. I rolled my eyes and pushed corners of my mouth up.

“Sure, honey. Would you like one or two braids?” I asked the girl.

After a lifetime of games of all kinds, some I’ve never played before, it was finally lunchtime. We moved to a dining room and sat down. There are actually a lot of kids. It didn’t appear that way since they went in and out of the procedures and check-ups while we were here. Do they spend every day like this? Living in a sterile prison with needles and scalpels surrounded by strangers in white coats. That shit must be traumatizing. They don’t even get to play outside like healthy kids or go to school with their peers, trying stupid things like playing pranks or jumping from a tree. And yet these shitheads are smiling. Well, they are probably high on some drugs but still… They live such horrible and painful lives, my problems look trivial compared to theirs and yet…

I see why Chanyeol would want to make their stay here at least a little more pleasant but I don’t get why he would do it for free out of his own generosity and so often that the kids remember him. Maybe he comes here because of that nurse to win her over. Although it seems like he accomplished that a long time ago. Or there is something else I am not seeing. I looked over at Chanyeol. What are you keeping hidden behind that smile?

The lady on a kitchen duty brought out plates with food one by one. When my plate landed on the table I couldn’t hide my disgust. Do they really feed them this vomit? I wouldn’t force this even on my worst enemy. I bet that if I smacked it on the ceiling it would stick to it like a glue. I looked around if anyone was actually eating it. Few kids were forcing it down their throat out of hunger but other than that everyone just stared at it.

Someone from the hospital staff is probably gonna throw me out of the window for this but screw it. I stood up. “Who wants pizza?” I called out to the kids. As expected, I received a jubilation.

“Yumi, what are you…?”

“Shut up, Chanyeol. Does this crap look eatable to you? No wonder those kids aren’t healthy when they feed them this.” I pointed at the weird goo living on my plate.

“And pizza is healthy since when?” He questioned me.

“Geez, Loey. Can’t you appreciate my effort at least? It’s still better than this unidentified laying object. Not to mention that pizza is like having a lobster for dinner to these kids. Don’t you see how excited they are?” In reality I’m doing this more for myself than those brats but this is better justification.

“I guess…you’re right. But who’s gonna pay for it? It’s quite a lot of pizza to feed them all.” He grimaced. I’m an idiot.

“I’m gonna pay it. It was my suggestion after all.” I’m even bigger idiot. I think this will make up for my good deeds for next five years at least. “Alright everyone, write down what kind of pizza you want. Those who can’t write or have never eaten pizza come to Chanyeol and he’ll help you.” I shouted for everyone to hear. Chanyeol just judgmentally stared at me for giving him work I should be doing. Someone has to do it and it’s not gonna be me, I’m the brain so he can be the muscle, which he is. Meanwhile I’m gonna cry in the corner for all the money I’m gonna have to say goodbye to.

After the pizza arrived everyone happily dug in. There was a loud banter as kids exchanged pieces of different pizzas and talked over each other. My stomach was warm with satisfaction as I stuffed my face.

“What is this? Who ordered the pizza?” Hana’s voice filled the room. Oh, shit. I almost choked. Chanyeol looked at me with shaming look. I glared at him and quickly went over to Hana.

“Oh, hey, Hana.” I tried to sound nice. “You see, I bought the pizza for the kids, because I couldn’t look at the shitty stuff you call food here. Is there a problem with that?” I lightly put my hand on her back, carefully not to trigger my defense system and pushed her out of the dining hall.

“There will be a problem if the doctors find out. They should eat only what they are given.” She sounded panicked.

“Well, I gave it to them so no problem, right?” I tried to ease up the situation.

“But some of them have special diets and…” She was out of it.

“Shh, don’t worry, everyone got only what they can eat.” I think. “Nothing’s going to happen to them. Let them have at least a taste of what normal life looks like.” I silenced her. Well, it’s more like I guilt tripped her and used her affection towards the children but the result was the same.

We finished the lunch and returned to the common room to play again.

“Chanyeol, Yumi, come play Twister with us.” One of the older kids called us.

“Okay, let’s play.” Chanyeol shrugged and helped to set up the playing field.

“I’m sorry but I won’t play.” I looked with terror at the colorful dots.

“What are you talking about, of course you will.” Chanyeol frowned at me.

“I…I just…can’t.” I shook my head, glanced at Chanyeol.

“What do you mean? Why can’t you?” Chanyeol approached me with a fazed look. I was backing off from him the whole time and when he got too close I ran out of the room in panic. I sat down on the floor in the hallway and started hyperventilating. If I played it would be a disaster. I would traumatize those kids even more than they are.

“Yumi!” Chanyeol stepped into the hallway. “What’s going on? Are you okay?” He crouched down in front of me.

“Yes, I’m fine. It’s just- I just can’t.” I could feel my eyes sting. Fuck, I can’t start crying. Not now, not here.

“Why? What’s wrong?” He gave me a concerned look. Should I tell him? I glanced between his eyes. He would think I’m crazy and drag me into the psych ward. It’s not even that far from here.

“Nothing.” I answered way too quickly. “Nothing is wrong.” I said more calmly. “I just can’t, okay?” I was pressing my back to the wall. He closed his eyes and sighed running his fingers through his hair and tugging on them.

“Alright.” He looked at me. “Sorry I pushed you.” He stood up. “When you feel like it, come back inside.” He went back into the room. I kept staring behind him taken aback by his calm reaction. That was considerate of him. Even though he’s been angry with me most of the day he still acts like this towards me. Why is he so kind all the time? What a fool. I took a few minutes to calm down then stood up and brushed the dust off my butt.

“So who wants to draw some pictures with me?” I entered the common room. Bunch of kids got into the idea and I set up a drawing circle on the floor.

“What should we draw?” A boy asked me.

“Let’s see…How about you draw something nice for your parents? You can give it to them when they come visit you.” I can’t imagine spending childhood without parents away from home. They were always there for me even when everyone else left. These kids have no one to lean on. They can’t just go to their mom when they have a nightmare. These kids were robbed of their childhood and basic pleasures of life and yet they keep on going and making the most of what they have. Whereas I have everything I need and still complain about unimportant things like Chanyeol making noise. Maybe this is what he meant with that shell. I looked over to where Chanyeol was playing with other kids. He was laughing with them on something, tickling them and giggling when they accused him of cheating. I found myself lightly smiling while staring at them. Suddenly Chanyeol looked up at me, sweetly grinned and waved at me. Fuck, I’ve been caught staring at him. I briskly turned my head down to the empty paper and grabbed a pencil, trying to overwrite the embarrassment on my face.

Absentmindedly, I let my hand draw some circles. What should I draw? I observed the circles trying to come up with an idea. After a minute or so I internally screamed and bobbed my head back.

“Huh?” Chanyeol’s guitar came into my sight. Could it be…? I started drawing again.

“That’s pretty good.” Chanyeol looked over my shoulder. I flinched and crawled away. “It’s time to leave, Yumi.” He offered me a hand to help me stand up.

“Um, alright.” I stood up on my own ignoring his hand. We said goodbye to the children, took our things and left. We were almost out of the ward when a girl came running after us.

“Wait, I have something for you.” We looked down at her and waited for what she had. “I draw this for you and Yeolie.” She handed me a picture with a smile.

“Thank you, but don’t you wanna give it to your mom or dad?” I took the paper disintrested.

“I don’t have parents.” She said dejected.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…” Way to be an untactful asshole, Yumi.

“It’s okay. I have a lot of friends here and you two as well.” She was happily swinging on her feet. She’s just met me today, how can she call me a friend just like that? So naïve. I blankly stared at her not knowing what to say. Meanwhile Chanyeol took the picture from me and looked at it.

“It’s really pretty. We will put it on the fridge to see it every day.” He grinned at her. “You can draw something again next time, okay?” He petted her head. She nodded and hugged us both around the legs. I froze in the place looking down at her with wide eyes. It took everything in me not to push her away and escape from here. She’s just a child, she can’t harm me, right?

“Bye, Yeolie. Bye, Yumi.” She then waved at us and ran away.

“Are you alright?” Chanyeol asked me since I was still stiff in the same position.

“Yes! Stop asking me that!” I barked at him and walked out.

First Chapter——–Previous Chapter——–Next Chapter

See you again soon xx

[bulldawgjross]

The Second Time Around

        The first time was an accident

        The second, lifting yet heavier

        But the third can’t happen yet

    The night prior, all that was swimming in my mind was that I was getting the chance to see her again, however, I’d be lying if I said I was ready. The last time an adventure like this occurred, whether other’s would admit to it or not, it didn’t go over too well, but this time I was determined to make sure I didn’t fuck up… again. Going on these trips can sometimes make me nervous in a sense of not knowing what’s going to happen next, while at the same time not caring because of her. Even though it hadn’t been terribly long since I’d seen her, just the look of her always melts my heart. Yet, she’s always meant more than glamour and shine to me. She can make just about anyone seem like life has purpose once more and always brings a smile to my face. 

    Of course, waking up to start an hour or so drive just to get Allie is always worth it. On the drive up to her house, I tested how my new bluetooth system would work in my Cooper, which in all honesty is just the speakers like the Beats Pill but not that at all. Pulling up to the driveway and making sure everything is ready to go just before the trip ahead is always a great start for the trip, as everything is in place as Allie starts walking to the car. As always, the regular hijinks ensue as we talk about the usual coasters, cartoons, shows, and just life in general. She struggles and how she’s been bold and brave enough to overcome all the obstacles as of late, my bouts with the idiotic public (not ya’ll, but the random customers whose soul purpose in life is to find a way to fuck up so bad that there is literally nothing I can, could, or would do to fix their stupidity) from work and hilarious stories of said characters is all just icing on the cake, and that’s the usual. After a while, it was time to put on some good throw backs, as a couple days before I had found a video on YouTube of a whole bunch of old cartoon intros which we obviously jammed to. 

    Just before we had even hit the city limits before totally nerding out, I felt that with the scenery of Charlotte that the only proper song to play was “What a Fool Believes” by the Doobie Bros, which was honestly pure bliss. Following up into uptown… well…. If you know Allie, then you know the song that we had to play for that. Capping it up, we had to give the X to Fury sense when we normally give it away Lilly is always closed down. All that being said though, after a four hour drive or so, we finally made it back to where we belonged, yet for it being a wednesday, Allie was not even prepared for what was to come shortly after.

    The first stop was actually the starbuck at the entrance so Allie could finally try the Fury latte they had going on, but alas, sold out. Apparently so popular that the first day it came out it was gone, and a recipe so secret that one customer went and rode Fury 325 six times in a row just to know how to make it themselves. However they soon regretted it because of the extreme g-forces that it can dish out might have been too much for them as one of them looked as if he was going to pass out, according to the lady at the shop. We took that as a challenge, however, and tried to do the same, if not surpass the six ride limit. Only we weren’t just lucky, oh no.We had hit the motha effing jackpot!

    We make our way to the great Giga-dork and ready up the locker (which is honestly a fucking rip off but ya have to), break a pair of my sunglasses, fix said shades, and start giggling like little kids on the playground as I start to notice something rather strange. One o’clock in the evening and Fury’s line looked like something out of a fantasy, five people up top with three others walking up the stairs; almost void. We ran after seeing such grace and even ducked under the railings to get up there faster, directed to row 5 and made our way to the incline. After that, row 6, but after that something incredible happened. Since there was no one line and clear of anyone else coming on to the train we just stationed, the attendant looked back at me and asked, “Wanna go again?”

    I stay in my seat as Allie was about to make another lap around the station, when I quickly scream for her to hop back on. The look on her face was pure dumbfounded joy for she’d heard the myths of back to back rides but hadn’t experienced it herself. Next up, after asking that attendant if we could ride in row 8 and graciously allowed it, we were coming close to getting six rides in a row. Even more shocking to Allie was that around the seventh or eighth ride and climbing the stairs to her majesty, we noticed that the attendant was GONE. Guess which row we picked next? Up front!

    After ten rides in a row within a one hour time span, here’s what you need to know: She’s an intense bitch on top and could only be tamed in the front, and though she’s a beauty around every turn, she every time you lift out, she doesn’t know any better but to thrust you back into her. You might think you have control but the sad truth of the matter is that she’s a fucking kinky ass dominatrix who’s studied the Kama Sutra, perfected it, then created her own shit that makes that book look like a kindergartener's kid story.

    Yet she doesn’t really mean to, however, because that’s what can happen when you give her the grand key to world. She might have changed in the slightest details that only a true enthusiast would be able to pick up on, but it still remains that even if it’s a one time deal, it’s a reward well given… last year. This time around however, it could win again, but it’s changed drastically. Back in August when we had gone, we rode her up front but waited till night to see her with all her beauty and it was well worth it. Keep also in mind, it could be the long lasting effects of the non-stop g-forces due to continuous runs, but it felt painful at times. Even more intense when your belt doesn’t lock and you have to rely on the lap restraint, which one of the attendants said “That’s the THIRD time today”

    After the ride(s) of a lifetime (which tbh is great that I have a month or two to recover from all the g-force, but I do it for her) we stopped and grabbed a water and I went back to the car for a vape break just to be ready to tackle Intimidator! Now, he’s no dork we know and love, but he has a certain vibe to him that you can’t ignore. To be completely honest, after Fury, any other coaster after that lacks in comparison and can really ruin the experience. Intimidator is amazing in every way; perfect air time, breathtaking drops, Nighthawk ain’t got shit (in general, just thought I’d add that in). 

    Once we debated getting lunch, which to be honest is their real money maker, (like literally one of the stands was selling a normal hotdog w/ fries and drink for $12!!! Pack or wait tbh) we rode the one and only. The og that never changes no matter what the circumstances, the ride of all rides with the best inverted inversions, the one that is the south gates were open (like they should be) would be the first high motha-fucka you’d see. I’m of course talking about… TOP GUN!!!

    If you call it whatever stupid name that it’s been given now, which is pointless for me to remember because it has no other name, I will ignore you and ponder the ride you are referring to because it doesn’t exist. The name it was given due to the original’s copyright reasons, and since I don’t give a fuck, you’ll usually catch me riding the incline humming to myself “Highway to the DANGERZONE!” It’s always tradition for me and my family to ride this one first, but even if you ride everything else before hand, TOP GUN will never disappoint. In comparison, Nighthawk hurts, you’re laying back for a good portion of it and once you get the “free falling experience” the restraints punch into your shoulders. Manta at Seaworld Orlando is a much better experience, but overall, gotta give the OG. In all fairness, it’s nostalgia reasons, since TOP GUN was my first inverted and inversion coaster, but it’s fast, it’s insane, the experience of a fighter pilot is always present, and it’s done right, looping around the entrance so perfectly. The south gate needs to open up again soon because you honestly cannot start a day at Carowinds with any other.

    That being said as well, I want to take a moment and honor those that have fallen: Troy and Lucas, the twin woodies that made Charlotte live, racing devils always going forward and backward. Thunder Road always has a near and dear place in my heart, not only being my first wooden coaster, but the BEST!!! Fair point, I have not ridden the beast (yet), but I have also been on Dolly’s Lightning Rod, but even then, TR rules over them all. Sure it was linear, sure it wasn’t as intense as most other coasters, but you couldn’t care. On Troy, you knew what was to come, but it was always smooth, which I’m sure you can’t say about anyone else, especially not Hurler! Lucas always runs backwards, perfect for those that don’t worry about where they’re going and just need to know where they’ve been. Thunder Road has always been the greatest wooden coaster ever and there is no debating their glory, which is why I had to get the shirt to commemorate the fallen titan.

    A couple more rides here and there on Intimidator and Fury just before we hit the road back home and though traffic was almost crystal clear coming, it was as if once we got into Charlotte, we could never leave. The plan was always to leave early so we would beat out the closing traffic, but it didn’t matter. I-77 was jammed all the way through the city, trying to escape onto any exit ramp was nearly impossible, but once we managed it everything just kept going down hill. The parkway was jammed, I-85 as well, and all the while my phone keeps blowing up from Google telling me that the road we are on is currently jammed. “No Shit” became a recurring phrase as we tried to leave, yet after an hour and a half just trying to leave the city and searching the radio for music only to find the usual talk shows, usual country station (which almost tore our hair out), three stations where you only heard Pixies Fluting (the only reasonable explanation I have for it) and a Mexican Broadcast. 

    All in all though, even if it was a short trip and a hella long ass drive for me, we needed it and it was well worth it. Just seeing her again can always bring a smile to my face and she’s perfect in every way. No one can so the things that she does to me. She brings a light out of me that I don’t feel with anyone else and I love every moment, every second I’m with her. She can’t be beaten down, she refuses to give in, and she boulders her way through every turn like it’s nothing. Knowing her and seeing how she’s grown has always been the highlight of my life, but alas, the moments that seem to be the happiest are true in despair, for there’s no way to insure total contentment. If only she gave it a chance.

We’ll just have to see.