#wait if it's analyzing the fandom is it still meta?

[dreamytfw]

I think there's also some percentage of seeing Dean projecting his insecurities/inferiority complex onto Sam, but yeah Sam never does the whole "smug college elite" thing in canon.

and if I say that the whole "sam thinks he's better than dean because he went to college and thinks he's sooo smart" criticism is 0% based on canon material and instead it's 60% based on fanfics and tumblr posts relying purely on headcanons, and 40% a projection of their own academic inferiority complexes... then what?

[hinamie]

i normally don’t contribute much of my opinions on chapter content n themes bc a. i think my role in fandom spaces is that of a fanartist and I want to keep my art at the forefront, and b. I am Insecure about how little of the manga I have actually consumed and don’t think I have a solid foundation on which i can offer any coherent arguments or insight. generally I like to leave the long meta 2 people who have been genuinely invested in delving into the manga with the intent of analyzing it . y'all do gods work u are the reason i am not flying through this series completely blind

that being said, i am not here to give criticism on pacing or story cohesion bc quite simply, that is not my wheelhouse. i do, however, want to offer my 2 cents on the concept of choosing to live for others as someone who (like a lot of people is the vibe i’m getting) also struggles w depression and self-worth issues and sees aspects of themselves in megumi as a result. i want to reiterate tht this is not an analysis, these r just my gojo voice personal feelings n u r allowed 2 feel differently based on your own experience :)

let me just say first of all that I can 100% empathize with people wanting to see megumi choose to live fr himself after a lifetime spent in a system notorious fr stripping people of their agency and turning them into tools. i think in a perfect world he Does come to the realization that he’s worth living for. but i also think that him /not/ having crossed that bridge yet is also a very valid n realistic outcome. he's a kid, he's just had the worst experience of his life, he's traumatized and then some -- i only have a bachelor's in psychology and god knows i'm no doctor but personally i wouldn't call that a mental space where self-love is likely to stick

it’s hard to claw yourself out from rock bottom. to expect someone to immediately be able to make the transition from being in the worst mental state of their life to realizing that they are worthy as a person is a tall order that i honestly don't think many people wld b able to fulfil. /I/ certainly haven’t been, and living for others has honestly been what’s kept me going for a long fucking time. even when I’m not necessarily at a low point, I still rly struggle w liking myself n thinking i’m a good person, but what’s been a genuine lifeline fr me when i can't love myself is to direct that love Outwards. If nothing else I know that I have things I can create, and things I can offer others. I've spent countless hours forcing myself to acknowledge that, no matter how much i don’t believe them, if the people around me insist that they see something of value in me or in my work; something tht makes them love me Despite, then that alone is worth staying alive for.

i personally (although i can see how others wld disagree) don’t view the 'living for others' frame of mind as waiting for someone to save you, but rather as holding out hope that there is More out there than your own self-loathing will let you believe. For megumi, it wld seem that his something more was the people he cares about. Yuuji gave him the agency to choose whether or not to keep living, and megumi made that decision of his own accord, which fr someone at their absolute lowest is still a huge achievement! there was agency in that decision, there was selfishness--regardless of the underlying motivation it proved that he /wants/ to live. little side note but i think that megumi Making a selfish decision to live for others' sake should also give a bit of hope that he does have it in him to eventually be able to b equally selfish in the value he places on himself.

anyway that's what i got source: i'm depressed . n look i get that with so little of jjk left, it Is frustrating that we probably Won't see megumi come to the conclusion that he's worthy and that he should live for and love himself. but at the same time i don't think that his decision to keep living for others should b condemned either, bc as someone who has also yet to cross that bridge, sometimes that rly is the first step

[mal3vol3nt]

https://www.tumblr.com/longing-for-rain/755847912227028992/here-we-observe-the-aang-boymom-in-its-natural?source=share

Hi! I'm curious on your thoughts of this meta.

hi anon! so sorry for keeping you waiting with this response, i know it’s been months. unfortunately this probably isn’t gonna be the response you wanted to hear—me breaking down this zk brainrot rant and subverting their claims with canon content. please allow me to explain though (this is gonna be long sorry):

the reasons i’ve been slow to answer this ask and others that have sent me zk rants are:

since joining atla twitter (@arrsapphics if you’re cool) i’ve been exposed to a lot more zk coke-fueled rants and just do not have the energy to torture myself by willingly reading their shit

a lot of these zutara stans on tumblr are a lot more deranged and genuinely horrible people now that i’ve been exposed to the twitter zks. of course, zks are stupid and ship-obsessed on every platform and some of them (one in particular comes to mind—if you’re on twitter then you know) are genuinely just as bad, but i feel the ones on here have a special type of hatred considering they can tag their posts to ensure their hate stays within the echo chamber

CONTENT WARNING: RAP3

the second reason is the biggest part of why i will no longer entertain posts from longing-for-rain. i have recently found out via twitter that they write rape fanfiction of katara. being a chronically online shipper is one thing but to write fanfic of katara being raped so that zuko can save her is truly where i have to disengage. they have also posted rants of them analyzing katara’s body in the show, measuring the size of her breasts and hips to support the delusions in their head about this 14 year old girl. i truly cannot engage with this person’s rants as if they’re just regular shipping war bullshit. this person is a sick individual who not only projects onto a 14 year old brown indigenous character but also sexualizes and adultifies her

for these reasons, i refuse to read a rant posted by her and other big zk blogs on this app. people who take their obvious fetishes and racism and project them onto underaged asian and indigenous characters have gained too much attention from me on this blog. i can’t continue reading rants from these people and analyzing them because i know these people are not treating this show and its characters under an appropriate lens and arguing with their points will do absolutely nothing but enrage me, other people in the ka fandom, and fuel their delusions with our anger as “proof” their arguments hold any weight. on twitter, i’ll continue interacting with what comes up on my tl from my atla moots and if that includes shitting on a deranged zk then fine. but on tumblr i refuse to engage, especially since this app has a tagging system that i use religiously

and i would like to encourage anyone who reads this to also refuse to take this person’s rants seriously and look at them as nothing more than cope-hatred by a sick individual with sick fantasies and thoughts about these minor characters. of course, if you choose to still engage then i won’t stop you and will probably like and reblog your posts 😭

i will just no longer willingly click on links to their rants and subject myself to their bullshit. however, if you’d like for me to argue against zk claims then you are more than welcome to send me a summary of what they’ve said and i’ll do my best to organize a response! i absolutely do not want to discourage anyone from sending me asks because i truly do enjoy answering yalls questions and i love knowing that people like hearing what i have to say on these things lol. please, send me asks about anything and everything! just please understand that i won’t be clicking any links to their posts and blogs or be entertaining anything that comes from the three main delusional zk blogs 🙏

i hope this has made sense and again, i’m sorry anon for taking so long to answer this ask and for not giving the expected response 🫶

[natureismynature]

Oh fuck it- I did the analysis.

Anyway, I want you all to remember that this is me talking about CHARACTER MENTALITY. This is me analyzing these characters' THOUGHT PROCESSES about the whole situation.

This is not me victimizing anyone, this is not me making EXCUSES for anyone, and this is DEFINITELY not me blaming Tazercraft for the other islanders' thoughts and actions. This is just me looking at relationships and characterization.

Okay, so the whole "Tazercraft situation" is an interesting one. They were betrayed, they were forced to relive their trauma, they lost a dear friend in the process, and so many more things. And we know that the person who arrested them, Foolish, doesn't understand how severe his actions were. He did that for FUN, with little to no remorse at first. But for some reason, the Islanders aren't that mad at him? Why? Why aren't they hounding on him? Why aren't they pissed? Why aren't they trying to save Tazercraft? Why aren't they avenging them?

Well, because if you look at it, the Islanders know Foolish more than they know Tazercraft. Yes, they're all friends, but Pac e Mike aren't as, well, *close* to the other residents compared to Foolish. Yes, they organize a lot of events for all the Islanders to spend time together and have fun, but most of the time, they're building said events together rather than speaking with the others. It's not very common that Pac and Mike have deep and personal conversations with the other Islanders, but Foolish is almost always the emotional support himbo. And yeah, Foolish used to build a lot too, but lately, he's been spending more time with the others just bonding and talking and getting to know them.

My point is, almost NO ONE knows Tazercraft outside of "The guys who makes cool games and give haircuts". While everyone knows Foolish as more than "The silly guy who builds things."

The only people (that aren't Brazilian) who I can think of that are very close to Tazercraft outside of their events, are Etoiles (he wasn't informed when they were taken, he's clueless of the situation), Fit (he's the ONLY one who's truly angry at Foolish to the point of considering murder), and Foolish himself. It would be kind of hard to find a justifiable way to be very mad if you know almost nothing about the victims (and this is not me blaming Tazercraft, this is just me looking at how people in general would react to situations like this)

Now that we've talked about the Islanders' relationship with TC in general, let's talk about specifics.

Cellbit, why isn't he mad? Well, because he WANTS to believe in Foolish. He wants to TRUST in Fooish. Because they were friends first before they were in-laws. Foolish was the one who stayed by him when he was at his lowest. The one who kept him sane by being more insane than him. And if you guys remember, he's still under the impression that Foolish is doing this to protect Richas. Cellbit's SON. Plus, he BELIEVES in Tazercraft. "They got out before, they can get out again." (Also, let's not forget that he's probably a sleeper agent and was instructed not to intervene with it)

Forever, why isn't he mad? Now for this one I'm gonna talk meta. Well, similar to Cellbit, he's under the impression that Foolish is doing this for Richas. But unlike Cellbit, he's not fully convinced. ALSO unlike Cellbit, he doesn't really know Tazercraft that much, he doesn't share the same history as they do with Cellbit and Felps. Now that we've established that, let's talk meta. qForever treasures his family, we know that, but the last time he lashed out due to strong emotions, the FANDOM attacked ccForever. You think he'll act strongly again after that? He's controlling himself this time. Bidding his time, waiting for the bomb to drop, waiting for the truth to come out, so he doesn't make mistakes again.

Badboyhalo, why isn't he mad? Well, because he doesn't know Tazercraft (he often forgets who's Pac and who's Mike) and he's best friends with Foolish. As much as he wants to be impartial and fair on his judgment, he's still biased. He wants ANYTHING than to believe that Foolish is doing this by his own volition. He's trying his damn best to find anything to excuse Foolish's actions. His reaction when Foolish told him the truth was "Then why is everyone mad at you?" because to him, it's just normal Foolish behavior to sell out his friends for a gun.

Richarlyson, why isn't he mad? Because he's a literal CHILD. A child that is hopeful and loves his grandma very much. He's very close with Foolish, he copes through jokes, and has already lost so much. He doesn't want to lose his trust on Foolish too. So for now, he'll give him the benefit of a doubt.

Fit, why didn't he tell anyone that he found Pac and Mike? Well, because he could be putting his beloved son in danger if he said that. It was RAMON who asked him to keep it a secret. He has things at stake too. He cares for his friends, he's rightfully angry at Foolish, but he would never risk Ramon's life.

Jaiden, why is she siding with Foolish? Well, because she was lied to and she sees him as a trustworthy friend. She knows how it feels to be suspected by every, to be made an errand girl by the Feds. She thinks Foolish is in the same situation and wants to be there for him like many people were there for her.

Aypierre and Phil don't really have strong bonds with Pac and Mike so we can't really expect anything from them. They themselves are pretty out of touch with other players as well most of the time.

Now, let's talk about the "they would have been thrown in jail either way" sentence that the Islanders have been throwing around. They've been saying this because, well, it's the truth. No matter what, Pac and Mike would have been thrown in prison. The Islanders are just confused on why it had to be Foolish who arrested them. They all know of the illegal things that Tazercraft has been doing, and they all know what happens to people who break the rules, which is why no one was surprised when their illegal acts caught uo with them. I'd like to point out that the first person to be jailed was Maximus, and as far as the Islanders know, jail in the island isn't so bad because Max got out fine after a day. They're not AWARE of how fucked up the actual prison is because Max didn't experience what Pac and Mike did. I'm sure that if they finally see Tazercraft again and hear of the horrors they had to go through, people would be more angry and wary if anyone else gets imprisoned.

Tl;dr:

At the end of the day, it all boils down to biases and ignorance. The Islanders know nothing about the prison and they're very aware that Foolish would sell out his friends for free shit. They are not surprised about his actions because he was never shy to say he'd do anything for free things. And they are not that worried because they don't know how bad it was in the prison. They were all lied to, and they are all friends with Foolish. But I'm sure that if they hear the full story from Pac and Mike's side, they'd have a LOT to say to Foolish.

[bbcphile]

In Memory of Kiah

cw/tw: death, medical assistance in dying

If you’re wondering why I kind of disappeared from the Mysterious Lotus Casebook tag and stopped posted WIP Wednesday things, here’s the explanation: One of my closest friends, who has been dying progressively and increasingly painfully over the last two years, told me about 3 weeks ago that they were going to pursue medical assistance in dying because it is legal where they live. It was originally scheduled for the end of July, then moved up to the end of June, and then on Monday, they moved it to Wednesday (yesterday), because their life was agony and they couldn’t wait any longer.

I’m lucky that I had enough advanced notice that I was able to say goodbye–both by sending them a message telling them in detail how much they’ve meant to me and thanking them for everything, and then in one last phone call the night before–so I’m glad they knew how much I loved them and that I could be there for them emotionally, even though I couldn’t physically be there for the end itself, because they live too far away. We met on Tumblr through the chronic illness community because we share the same genetic connective tissue disorder and many of its comorbidities, and I will always be so, so grateful to Tumblr for bringing us together.

I wanted to post about them here because it just felt wrong to keep going like nothing had happened, and because I wanted to do something to pay tribute to how good a person they were and how much I miss them. So, some words about Kiah: 

Kiah was one of the kindest, funniest, intellectually curious, loving, and fiercely protective people I have ever met. I loved that we could talk about anything, including the terror of living in a failing body or how to come to terms with being disabled when you were always an overcommitted overachiever who defined yourself on external metrics of success, analyze media together during watch parties, and laugh together about literally anything (including during our last conversation, where we were both bawling our eyes out, but also somehow laughing about how absurd it is that you can’t really cry hard and talk at the same time and how that seems like a real design flaw). We didn’t share any fandoms, but we still had fun sharing details about our blorbos and fandom activities: I loved hearing about their cosplay adventures, and they always wanted to keep up to date on the metas I was writing. Even once they went blind and couldn’t read my metas on tumblr anymore because it wouldn’t work with their screenreader, they had me send them Google doc versions so their computer could read my posts to them because they didn’t want to miss any of my analyses. And when they were too sick to listen to the full posts, they asked for summaries because they still wanted to keep up as much as they could. 

They were always so caring and compassionate: when they first called to tell me in January that they were going to do medical assistance in dying, and after I had told them I understood and supported them and we’d talked about how they felt about it, they asked me how I was. I had told them that while I was heartbroken, I would handle it, because I didn’t want to make them feel responsible for comforting me when they had their hands full with processing everything and feeling their own grief. They said that while they appreciated my not wanting to make it harder on them, they didn’t want me to feel like I had to be ok in front of them, because they wanted to comfort me and support me even in this if they could, since they didn’t have that much time left to be there for me and they wanted to make it count. (yeah, I’m sobbing right now.)

None of those descriptions could even begin to do justice to how much they meant to me, but I hope this anecdote will:

I couldn’t be with them at the end because I’m a country and an opposite coast away, but I hated the idea of not being able to say goodbye in person or hold their hand if they were scared during the injection. So I played piano and imagined they could hear it.

Most of you probably won’t know what that means or why it would be a big deal. Here’s why:

I used to be a musician. Music was my life and my most important means of self-expression, and was absolutely going to be my career. But in high school and college, an extensive series of very traumatic things happened that made me essentially have to give up performing. For the better part of the last 18 years, literally up until I sat down to play for Kiah, even just the idea of performing for someone or a neighbor overhearing me play was triggering enough that I would have a full-blown panic attack and dissociate so badly I would literally go from concert pianist level ability to mostly forgetting how to read music and having to count ledger lines. But my desire to do something so that maybe, just maybe, I could make Kiah’s final moments better apparently trumped my trauma, because I was able to do it. I had wanted to play some Rachmaninoff, Brahms, or Chopin, but apparently those are still too closely tied to Events and I started to have skill loss issues again (fucking dissociative amnesia), so I switched to a piece I had played long ago enough that it was reliably in my mind and fingers (and that I could sight-read if I forgot it partway through). 

And I played it.

I hope, somehow, they were able to hear it.

I also recorded it.

And I’m going to share it here.

It kind of feels like serving my heart up on a platter, but that feels kind of appropriate for this tribute to them. 

I think they’d be happy, knowing that I’m “doing it scared,” as Tumblr recommends, and that my attempt to give them the biggest gift of love and support I could think of, somehow, even if just temporarily, gave music back to me.

Also, I think they’d get a kick out of the fact that you can hear me giggle a little at one point in the recording when the sheet music falls on my hands, both because it’s a great middle finger to perfectionism, but also because laughing through the tears (and yeah, I was crying while playing this) is very much a chronic illness and disability thing, and feels like a good metaphor for much of the last few months.

So. All that to say:

Kiah, I love you. I miss you so much already.

Here’s Robert D. Vandall’s “Lakeside Retreat.”

[itsclydebitches]

IT'S BEEN A DOOZY OF A DAY, FOLKS

Yeah I've got a couple asks about it lol. (Always a terrifying experience when you log onto tumblr and immediately wonder why your inbox blew up...)

Man, I don't even know how I'm feeling right now. We've spent so many months working on the semi-confident assumption that RWBY would be cancelled that on the one hand I can't feel very shocked about this. On the other hand there's definitely a wide-eyed part of my brain going, "Holy shit the 'RT is failing' theories finally came true O_O" I'm kinda devastated that a company that's been a part of my life for almost a decade (and for other fans far longer) is just up and gone, but simultaneously I don't care because what I loved about RT hasn't existed for some time now. We've already been dealing with that nostlgia for years, we just got a hell of a concentrated dose of it today. There's admittedly some level of vindication regarding those who've been pulling shit in the company for so long and empathy for those who were just getting by and are now suddenly out of a job. There's regret that (despite my tendency to fall VERY behind on projects. RIP I owe everyone in this fandom a massive apology) I'll probably never have an official end to my RWBY Recaps. And there's worry about how this will impact the fandom...

Yeah, not to jump on the pessimism train, but I feel like this is going to catapult some fans' misreadings into new territory. RWBY is now forever the show that was canonically unfinished and thus its perfection is assured. Think there are major issues in Volume 9 and earlier? Nah, that's setup for Volumes we just never got. Catch a contradition or other mistake? They would have explained that if they could. Any possible issues with the show if it gets picked up by someone else? Well, of course there are issues, RT isn't writing it! This was already a fandom where having accurate, nuanced discussions about the text was hard as hell... but it just got so much worse.

Honestly, I say let it go. If they're going to do anything I'd prefer a complete reboot/reworking so that this story might stand a chance. Airing new RWBY Volumes was already beating a dead horse. Resurrecting the horse to start beating it anew just feels ridiculous. Yes, I'm sad for those fans who wanted an official ending, but we've spent so much time waiting on RWBY, being worried about RWBY's future, and I personally have encounted so many shows lately whose finales soured my enjoyment that there's something reassuring in the combination of definitive ambuguity here: you know you're not getting an ending by RT, so just have fun imagining your own.

Overall, I feel like I've got to sit with this for a while, you know? I totally get why so many fans (partiuclarly RWDE fans) are celebrating and/or releasing a sigh of relief right now. I'm honestly surprised I haven't seen any crabs yet lol. But maybe it's just because I'm "old" my tumblr's standards, but there's something undeniably sad about losing that part of your fandom life. Or at least, losing what led to/represents that life. Getting introduced to RWBY by a friend, binging it for the first time, pulling new people in, finding like-minded friends here on tumblr, analyzing it for thousands of words, tracing its history and watching how radically it has changed... that's gone now. Not actually because RWBY still exists, as do my friends, and there's nothing stopping me from writing as much fic/meta as I want, but it still feels like someone closed a door on that part of my life. That's not wholly a bad thing given what RT has been lately, but I do think it'll take more than one post for me to unpack it all.

[yujeong]

#in the novel (ew) he is very much alive but the story is vastly different#so it doesn't exactly count#(aka there's no boxing backstory at all)

Wait wait wait - there's no boxing backstory in the novel? I haven't read the book so this is news to me. Now I'm truly intrigued because I've been thinking about why the past abuse was written in the framework of boxing? Why muay Thai (or more specifically, muay khao)? I know I'm too hung-up on the topic but I feel like what's being revealed about Pete's background is more than just the abuse. Like the fact that Pete's likely from a poor family and his father forced him to box because of money (which would add a whole another layer to the "he never won" reflection) because that's the usual reasoning when parents are asked why they let their kids fight as young as six or seven years old.

And then there's the whole transformation from scrutinized creature to human shaped hole.

It's so funny that two years ago I was like "okay cool, Pete knows how to throw a fist" whereas now I'm trying to rewrite his whole family saga because of a few lines.

First of all, let me start by saying that you are not, in fact, too hung-up on anything; your passion for Pete's backstory and Muay Thai is delightful to see whenever I log on here and it's the reason I often engage with your posts. It keeps my interest on the subject alive. Never stop sharing your thoughts on it, unless your own interest starts to dissipate. Now, I don't remember all the details, but the key points of Pete's backstory in the novel are as follows:

Pete's mother died when he was young,

He was basically raised by his grandparents, who remain alive until after Vegas and Pete become a couple and visit them on their island (so there's both a dtaa and a yaai, if I'm using the correct terms),

His father was still abusive to him,

At some point, he just left him and started a new family,

He was bullied at school because he was gay

That's all I remember. I'm not sure if his mother died before or after his father left to start a new family, but I'm really not in the mood to skim-read the novel to find out. What you're saying makes sense and it's possibly why his father forced him into boxing, besides his own inferior complex about never having won a match in his life. Honestly, I must thank whoever made those changes in Pete's backstory in the show, because without them, the most important connective tissue that exists between Vegas and Pete is lost. It's one of the reasons VP in the novels doesn't work for me; there's nothing for them to bond over besides... food, which is cool, don't get me wrong, we got it in the show as well. It's just not enough. And it's not just them having abusive fathers that connects them. It's the fact that they're both hunting dogs, as you put it in your meta post. It's the fact that their entire being circles around them being on a leash for their owner to use and abuse as they wish. It's just more evident with Pete because he's a bodyguard, but we all know it's true for Vegas, too. Making Pete a (past-)boxer is a brilliant choice for all the reasons the fandom (including you) has analyzed since episode 11 dropped and I'll never get tired of talking or reading about it. You're very much valid in being this influenced over a few lines.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

November Creator of the Month: Lizzybeth1986

Each month CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers, and this month’s writer of the month is @lizzybeth1986 We hope you will enjoy learning more about them and their work below! The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog: Blog Masterlist

How do you want to be known on Tumblr?

Lizzy, absolutely 😁

*Center art by @sazanes

More below...

When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I started playing mid 2017, I think. I played the flagship books (TF, TCaTF, MW), and def preferred TF at the time.

When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined the Tumblr fandom in 2017, around the time of the TRR finale. Mostly because the Liam hate at the time was intense and I wanted to write metas about why Liam was, in fact, not “a dick who betrayed the MC” 😂

I did have a Tumblr account before that (made it in 2015 to follow Bollywood film posts), but never actually used it.

How did you pick your blog name?

I was lazy af so it was my middle name plus my birth year haha

Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it! 

I started out with a couple reblogs, but my first actual post was about the romance points mechanism in TRR1. There was a point in the middle of the book where one nice word to Drake would give you an automatic romance point, and I was like, “Huh??? Either treat him like shit or risk him catching feels for me? Is that how it is???”. Thankfully, that stopped after two chapters. After that, I did an essay series analyzing Liam’s actions in the finale called “The Crown, The King and The Flame.” Romance Points Post The Crown and the Flame

How long have you been writing fanfiction?

Almost 6 years now! I started doing Liam fics around the beginning of TRR2.

What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to write about?

I’m the most invested in TRR and PM, but between the two I’d probably say PM is my fave book overall. But yeah, my favourite book to write about would be TRR, because Liam, Hana and Kiara are such fantastic characters to write about! (Hayden and Sloane, too, but I’m still in the process of getting comfortable writing them).

Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were writing it today?

It was Keychains, my two part fic series featuring my MC and Liam. It was set around the time the MC was waiting in the airport in TRR2, just before Maxwell and Bertrand intervene. It had a follow up with Liam’s PoV too.

I really like it. It included some really good hc’s I made at the time, like Esther buying an apple keychain to represent Cordonia at the same time, and Liam calling her his wife in Greek and Esther not realizing what the phrase meant. I thought the pathos and slight humour was quite well-done. I can’t think of much I would want to change in the story.

Keychains 1 Keychains 2

What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

As a series – Eleanor’s Kitchen! It’s ongoing, and it’s a joy to write. I love exploring food from a cultural lens, and since Cordonia was a fictional country, I could explore a variety of ethnicities and food cultures. Liam had a literal diamond scene that explored gastrodiplomacy, and I wanted to explore his childhood and Eleanor’s friendships too.

Individually – I would say my Kiara fic “An Ear to the Ground”. Kiara is a delightful character and exploring the social season through her eyes was a real journey! I also love “The Stars (Are Out Tonight)” which explores the early days of the Sloane & Hayden friendship. I used asterisms and constellations to symbolize moments in their friendship.

Eleanor's Kitchen An Ear to the Ground The Stars (Are Out Tonight)

Do you have a fic that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to be but found could use a little more love?

Cordonian Waltz was definitely a surprise in terms of reception!! It was written in the style of headcanons I was seeing at the time, and I wrote it in second person. It became my most widely-read fanfic very fast, and every once in a while it would experience a major surge in readership. I enjoyed writing it and thought it was a lovely, romantic piece, but I really wasn’t expecting it to finally have 250+ reblogs out of it, and people coming and telling me this was the fic that got them into Liam x MC in the first place. I find that deeply gratifying 😍

There’s a lot of fics that I feel need more engagement and appreciation, but I can understand that those characters also don’t exactly get much of an audience. My entire PM set comes under this category; they typically get low readership. I think my Hana and Kiara fics too could do with more of an audience.

@twinkleallnight once told me that when she reads my stuff, she usually takes a long time just to ruminate on the story, and I like to believe that often, that’s why the engagement isn’t always immediate. Which I like too!! I like that some of my stuff can make people stop and think, and I like to believe that over time, the work will have its own impact.

Cordonian Waltz PM Set

If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Probably fluff but with a lot of observation and sometimes somber reflections. I’m not that great with angst…and I’ve never actually tried smut? But maybe one day 😄

Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

Yes! Some of my MCs are v different from me but I always incorporate something from my life experiences in them. Like Esther taking photos of the sunset or Basil not being science oriented but still having an interest in space.

Character wise I find I put a lot of myself into a lot of the characters I write. Notably, Liam, Hana, Kiara, certain Haydens and Sloane. Liam’s love for learning, different aspects of Hana and Kiara’s experiences as queer women, Sloane’s experiences as a neurodivergent woman, and especially my Scholar!Hayden’s (Iris) observations. I tend to incorporate a lot of my feelings and experiences more into certain canonical characters than in MCs.

What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Dialogue, I think. Especially when it’s a character I don’t relate to that much. But also sometimes when it’s a character I love but am only starting to write because then I really overthink it!

Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Hmm…probably neglected wouldn’t be the word I’d use…I just take a very long time to kickstart them 😂

But yeah, definitely my Petals and Thornes series? That’s the fic series I’m doing for Hana x Kiara, that is supposed to explore TRR2 and 3 from their PoV (with significant changes). So far I’ve only been able to do some one-shots and hcs in that universe, but I do want to start the actual series soon!

I have some essay series’ I’d love to work on too! My Hana essay series which has two essays left, The Hayden Young Project, and a possible series on the alternative Lis of TRR!

Petals and Thornes Hana Lee: A Study in Erasure

If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

Hmm. A few people have asked me, actually, and while I’m not fully opposed to showing them I’ll probably take some time before I do show my work. I’ll probably overthink how much will be understandable to a reader who doesn’t have the context of the source, and what they may not understand.

What to show them first? I’m not sure! Maybe the smaller ones first, like Cordonian Waltz. Or my RCD fic Snowstorms, because it doesn’t have more than 2-3 canon characters featuring and I do talk a little about being a closeted queer teen figuring out their sexuality through cinema, which is an overall relatable experience to some! Snowstorms

Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

In my early years I used to emulate Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni’s style. Much of her work that I read as a teen was pretty flowery, sometimes bordering on purple prose, and I really loved that style and tried to go that way. But now I think a variety of writers from different genres inform my writing. In terms of published authors, Jhumpa Lahiri, Helen Hoang, and non-fiction ones like Rukmini Pande, Ruby Hammad and Mikki Kendall.

In Choices fic, @callmetippytumbles for sure – a lot of the questions she was tackling with her MC in her Home series served as inspiration for some of the ideas I’ve been having in mind for Petals and Thornes. @thefirstcourtesan is a great writing buddy to have, too, and she has a knack for saying a lot in very few words! There’s also my amazing group of friends (shoutout to @cassiopeiacorvus, @thecapturedafrique, @mand-delemonde, and @beyonceswigs, as well as @twinkleallnight , @dcbbw @mariemarieohcontrary , @choicesfrog, @grapecaseschoices and @ohsnapitzlovehacker…the discussions are so good and leave some much to think about afterward 💖💖). All these discussions ALWAYS fuel my ideas and make me think out of the box.

I’ve also recently started writing polyamorous characters and relationships, and @angelasscribbles stories and resources have been such a great help in navigating that!

Home

@angelasscribbles Poly Resources

Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Haha! I’ve not even started the proper series yet but I think Petals and Thornes? But besides that maybe Eleanor’s Kitchen may work as a series idk 😄

Do you write original fiction?

I do try! I’ve done a few short stories but before I started fanfic, I did a lot of spoken word poetry and that was fun.

What other hobbies do you have?

Reading, watching video essays, spending months on hyperfixations 😂 and a little cooking. My kid’s gotten into craft recently and has succeeded in taking me down that rabbit hole too haha.

I used to be into making fruit wines but have gotten inconsistent with that over the years.

What’s your favorite emoji?

Because I have a huuuge thing for nerds – this one: 🤓

BONUS – tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

A story my mum often tells about how I got into writing, began with some good old-fashioned sibling rivalry. Apparently as a child I was notorious for writing things on the walls of our house. One day my older brother got a hardbound royal-blue covered notebook to write in, with gold lettering on the cover…and I got instantly jealous that I didn’t get one (I was 6 or 7 and already fond of telling stories). When I complained my mum made me a deal – she would get me the same notebook…IF I stopped writing on the walls and began writing in that instead 😂 It worked. My mother is a smart woman.

I love spoilers!! I will read the end of a novel I’m reading and then go back and read the rest. Sometimes I even read books all the way backwards lol.

I love romance, and my favorite tropes include second-chance romance and mutual pining while believing the other person will never love you back! Because, at heart, I’m a dramatic bitch.

[nofomogirl]

Before the Beginning (part 1.4.)

Part 1.1. | Part 1.2. | Part 1.3. | Part 1.5. |

Part 2.1. | Part 2.2. | Part 2.3. | Part 2.4. |

Yes, hello, I have another scene I'd like to analyze.

It's the one in the Companion to Owls minisode, when Aziraphale and Crowley (and technically Job's kids in the form of three newts in a pot but I think we can ignore their presence) are in the basement waiting out the storm. They're relatively relaxed - the angel gorging on ox ribs and the demon enjoying his wine - and have a very interesting conversation.

Here's the whole thing:

A: Come on, you're a little bit on our side. C: Not even the littlest. A: Well, you're not on Hell's side. C: I go along with Hell as far as I can. A: So, whose side are you on? C: My side. A: Gosh. Well, that sounds... C: What? A: Lonely. C: Lonely? No, not lonely. Whose side are you on? A: God's, of course! C: Oh, really? The same God that wants me to whack the kids? A: Yes. But... C: Yeah... That's just how it started for me. See you in Hell.

What I want to address today isn't anything new, but it needs to be written. At least so that you knew where I stand. Anyway, it's no less exciting for being widely discussed already. I mean, is any of us tired of digging into the concept of sides? No, didn't think so. Having our boys talk about it, and so explicitly too, will never not be a treat and never not worth another meta.

So here I go: yes, I do believe Aziraphale is heavily misguided and confused about the whole thing, and it's the root of many issues in both seasons.

This whole exchange is a perfect example.

God had an argument with Satan about whether Job's faith was conditional. The man was exceptionally devoted but so far he experienced nothing but good fortune. But what if he didn't? What if he had to suffer the loss of everything he cared about?

They decided to find out.

Hell wanted Job to fail. To crack under all the misery and renounce God. Heaven... it's hard to tell really. I guess Heaven wanted Job to remain faithful so that God could win the bet but I think if he failed and needed to be punished it wouldn't be so terrible either.

What is crucial, however, is that both sides wanted the test to happen. They both wanted Job to suffer so they could see what happens.

Aziraphale knew it. But despite knowing it, despite all the facts staring him in the face, when Crowley had saved the lives of Job's goats and Job's children, it somehow led Aziraphale to the conclusion that the demon is still on Heaven's side. It really couldn't have been any plainer how skewed the angel's perception is because such deduction had never been more of a stretch than it was in that particular instance.

I believe there are two assumptions that Aziraphale clings to that cloud his judgment so much.

The first is something that many people in the fandom have pointed out already - Aziraphale conflates and confuses goodness, Heaven, and God. It's not a perfect equivalence, obviously, but the distinction is muddled.

The second assumption is that there are two opposite camps and everything that exists belongs to either one or the other. Yes, Aziraphale's thinking is extremely binary, and we should never forget about it. Sometimes it isn't just about good and evil for him; sometimes it's simply the inability to imagine third space.

When Aziraphale claims Crowley is a little bit on Heaven's side, we can see both assumptions at work.

#1: Crowley must be a little on Heaven's side because he had done something unquestionably good - he saved Job's goats and children - and being and doing good makes you affiliated with Heaven by default.

#2: Crowley must be a little on Heaven's side because he didn't do what Hell wanted - kill Job's goats and children - and opposing Hell is the same as endorsing Heaven.

The latter is also evident in Aziraphale's reaction to Crowley's denial - he points out Crowley is not on Hell's side as if it proved anything because in his mind it does - and confusion when Crowley tells him where he sees himself standing.

It doesn't help to see flaws in that logic that most of the time Aziraphale applies it to Crowley but not to himself. We may scoff at it but I actually find it understandable. Not logical, obviously, but easy to empathize with. Thinking that Crowley is still good and belongs with Heaven in some way is hardly a troubling thought. But contemplating the analogical idea that if Aziraphale himself doesn't do what Heaven wants then he might belong with Hell is downright terrifying.

It does come up at the end of the basement scene.

Crowley draws Aziraphale's attention to what the angel was avoiding - that God wanted Crowley to "whack the kids". Crowley wasn't defying Hell any more than Aziraphale was defying Heaven. When Aziraphale hesitates, seeing how perhaps doing what God wants and doing the right thing might not be the exact same thing here, Crowley points out this is how it started for him. That's exactly how you depart from Heaven, and if you depart from Heaven you end up in Hell.

We can see how it starts dawning on Aziraphale, and how he immediately pushes that extremely unpleasant thought away and goes back to his ox.

But he does face it in the end, in the heartwrenching finale of the episode. And what he's told? That nobody needs to know and nothing has to change. He is basically encouraged not to think about it. So he doesn't.

It's all too painful for either of them to discuss further so they leave it at that, allowing each other to fit what happened into their respective worldview, and make assumptions about each other.

There's much more in that scene but I'm going to bookmark it for a later date.

I hope to conclude part 1 in the next post. Wish me luck and inspiration!

[utilitycaster]

I'm so kdhdkdjdkd jazzed about the fjorester proposal !!!! But something that popped up pretty immediately that baffled me was these like... cope posts i guess? Of how "beau and jester should cheat leaving their partners for eachother and how dw guys marriage is just going to spice up the inevitable affair" and it's not even treated as a joke and Im just confused? Like i got into cr2 by the time it was over with so idk what it was like waiting for releases, but why after all this time do people hold on as much as they do? Do they like the story or not?

So I will be totally honest: I am not above checking the blogs of those I know hold terrible opinions, for a number of reasons both reasonable (keeping an eye out for potential harassment; inspiration for meta; my genuine enjoyment of analyzing fandom trends) and less so (schadenfreude and sending DMs that say Can You Believe This Idiot) but I actually have not seen this! To be clear, I would not be surprised it was out there - heaven knows this was a refrain during late Campaign 2 and in the leadup to the two-shot - but I thought that most people finally gave up in late 2022 after the two-shot made it clear the existing relationships are still very much in place. Granted I, as always, rarely go on Twitter.

Anyway. I think some of it is just that people whose enjoyment of works hinges on their ships becoming canon, rather than that being one of many facets to their fandom, also tend to not know when to give up just generally (you can look around this website and still find people hopping mad and/or pining for resolution regarding shows that ended before Campaign 2 even started). I think most of them did finally give up and leave, which is probably healthier for both them and the fandom, but there will probably be a dwindling number of holdouts who will gasp out on their deathbed fifty years hence "Beau and Jester should have been together" to a politely confused hospice nurse.

To actually answer your question, no, they do not like the story. I know I've been very hard on people who seem to only be able to enjoy fiction through a lens of either shipping or intense projection of the self onto existing characters, but in my defense, I'm right. This is a whole separate post, which to be honest I've kind of already made several times, but the usual complaint about the Campaign 2 noncanon ships (echoed in the complaints about Campaign 3 primarily by those who do like the canon ships thereof) was that they would have happened and been flawless and perfect but for that Pesky Plot, ie, the story. Unless the entire point of a story is a romance (eg: the genre that is cleverly titled "Romance") romance is always optional.

I also think, to be honest, Campaign 2 attracted people who were patient. This is a good thing! I think that, for example, people who are not entirely feeling Campaign 2 13 episodes in are valid, because I was similarly enjoying myself but not entirely won over by the plot yet, and it was only a combination of that patience and the burgeoning character dynamics that kept me going (plus the fact that watching week to week is a lower commitment than a binge). Granted I think if you fully give up at that point you are weak and will not survive the winter and should probably go watch Michael Bay movies or Bluey, but that's a separate point. Anyway. Some people are patient beyond a point where it is rewarding or even neutral and pass into a realm of showing up to the Story That Has Fjorester and Beauyasha In It muttering "I hope this doesn't have any fucking Fjorester and Beauyasha". I don't know how to help them, nor do I particularly want to, but I do know that not going on Twitter has been super helpful.

One final note: again, haven't seen the thing you mention in your ask yet in relation to this one-shot and not for lack of poking around Tumblr at least; but I have seen people who were deeply bitter about Campaign 2 but are still around for Campaign 3, though not a ton, and this was also frankly true of people who loved Campaign 1 and have not really cared since but still stick around. There's a weird zombie problem in the fandom; you get people who are very invested in being a fan of Critical Role and can't seem to leave, but haven't actually been happy for literal years, either because they were ultimately only fans of Vox Machina, or the Mighty Nein, or a specific ship within that. It is actually something I try to be cognizant of because I was very cautious about becoming that during the stretch when I was more frustrated by Campaign 3 than I am now. I think, ultimately, it's a conflation of one's fandom with one's external identity and I don't know how that happens or how to fix it but that might also be a factor: people who really don't like the show and haven't for years and are grasping at a thing they think would fix that and make them happy again, and refuse to admit it might be time to move on because that would mean they need to change their conception of themselves.

[sapphire-weapon]

They are waiting for 6 remakes to prove to you that you were wrong.

imagine having so little going on in your life that you're sitting around waiting for a game that won't come out for at least five years because someone on the internet made you feel insecure about whether a fictional relationship will be portrayed a certain way in a video game.

like, dude. these mfs think way more about me than i ever think about them or their ship. because, at the end of the day, i don't really care.

aeon's been a feature of RE's canon for 26 years, and it hasn't impeded my love for or enjoyment of the games. if aeon continues to be canon, then nothing in my life will have changed. i'm not going to get upset about something being the same way it's always been. it doesn't matter. RE will still be the same series i've always loved.

all i'm doing over here on this blog is interpreting the games' stories as they were written and providing analysis with evidence based in the text itself. that's why i have a giant wall of text post defending leon and ada's relationship as it's portrayed in OG -- because that's what the story is.

me liking or disliking the relationship has no bearing as to whether or not the relationship is canonically romantic. i don't have to like something for it to be true. and the fact is -- the truth is -- that for a majority of OG RE's runtime, leon and ada have a romantically coded relationship. and so i interpret it and analyze it that way, because that's what it is.

the fact also remains, however, that their relationship is no longer romantically coded in the remakes' version of events. and i'm not saying that because i dislike the relationship. clearly, as evidenced above, if the relationship was portrayed as romantic, i would treat and talk about it that way, regardless of whether i liked it or not. i'm saying that leon and ada's relationship is no longer romantically coded in the remakes' version of events because that's how the story is told.

and if that's upsetting for you (ubiquitous "you"), then maybe you should take it up with capcom's division 1 studio, because they're the ones writing the story. i didn't write the fucking story.

and, not for nothing, but like

i'm also wrong all the fucking time. i was wrong in predicting a wesker boss fight in SW. i was wrong in predicting more DLC coming for RE4make. i was wrong with my initial reading of remake ada from just base RE4make alone, and SW rendered all of my prior meta about her completely worthless.

and if i turn out to be wrong about aeon, i'm not going to be upset. i'm just going to add it to the list of shit i've been wrong about and move on with my life and continue analyzing the text with the new information we've been given.

but they keep trying to drag me into their ship wars as though i give a shit, and i don't. i don't fucking care about what ship is fucking canon, bro. i care about digging into the text and accurately interpreting the story because that's how i personally have fun in a fandom. it's not about the ship, for me. it's about the story.

like, eagleone isn't my only ship. it's not like i'm sitting over here concocting ways to twist the narrative in such a way that it looks like my ship is canon. i fucking ship leon with five other goddamn characters. and yet you don't see me making a case for any of those other ships being intended romances.

RE also isn't my only fandom. i play and talk about and care about other things and the industry in general all the time. i don't care about any of this RE ship shit nearly as much as they do, because i'm busy doing and caring about other things.

it's just so stupid, man. it doesn't matter. none of this matters. and it still won't matter when RE6make comes out.

we're all just trying to have fun here, and what i'm doing here on this blog, i do for myself. for my own fun. because this is how i have fun in fandom. it should have absolutely no bearing on anyone else's ability to have fun in the fandom -- and, if it does, then that person needs to stop fucking looking at my blog.

because none of this matters.

you know

i keep begging aeons to play other games, and this is exactly why.

[princehendir]

Okay so what does multifandom mean if it's not just having more than one interest like a normal human being?

WAIT NO HOLD ON. Are you genuinely this upset about people thinking a silly word is dumb

Multifandom, which evolved from multimedia, initially was used to specify that a comm/message board/forum was not about just one piece of fiction. It's evolved a bit, because now the internet has widely moved from moderated communities to single user social media accounts, but it still usually means that your account is going to have art/discussion/etc about more than one thing. It's a descriptor of what you post!

When it comes to "multifandom" as a personal descriptor... yes, "liking" more than one thing, watching more than one show, obviously that's normal. No one has ever actually thought that You Get One Piece Of Fiction And That's It, that's never been an expectation. But liking something and being in the fandom of it, or "fannish" about it, are two different things. I've been a fan of Star Trek my entire life! But I don't actively seek out transformative works about it, I don't write fanfic or meta for it, it's not much of a topic on my blog, i don't actively seek out other fans, I'm not In The Star Trek Fandom. On the other hand, I post a lot about Dragon Age, I'm actively writing fanfiction for Dragon Age, I seek out other fans with which to discuss and analyze Dragon Age. I am in the Dragon Age fandom. People like and watch/read a lot of things, but they're usually only "in the fandom of" one or two things at a time. Hence why you might specify "multifandom" instead of "in the x fandom"

It's admittedly becoming a little outdated, because most people are multifandom these days. But in the old days, people often were really only in one fandom at a time, imo mostly due to technical limitations. Like you obviously watch multiple shows but you aren't going to tape, seek out forums and mailing lists for (on dial up), and go to cons for every single one of them. You're just going to do that with The X-Files, bc you're already in those forums & mailing lists & who has the time. But the advent of streaming & modern social media has made it easier to be an active and invested fan for more than one thing at a time.

And yeah, actually I am kinda pissy. Not really so much at this specific thing but at how in general my hobby subculture specifically is considered just completely open season for every funnyperson online. I'm really kind of tired of watching people make stuff up about my hobby so that they can do a little bit about how only loser idiots could ever be into this! It kinda sucks! I don't think I should have to explain to you why it hurts my feelings a little! Sorry!

[dirtyoldmanhole]

time for analyzing the absolute most freak-ass set of supports i have ever seen nintendo handle (affectionately)

A-support first since this got overly long, and i also touch on the JP versions as well.

half meta analysis, half lengthy shitpost because.

well ~

Last time in the Gunter/Corrin support train, we learned that Gunter used a little toy ball to coax Corrin out from her shell post the mind wipes when she was as skittish as a kitten, and then in the B support, Gunter/Corrin played catch again for the first time.

A little odd, but fairly tame. Here though ..... :')

(pardon me for the different "Corrin" look -- i ripped these screenshots off of a youtube version b/c i was lazy about not getting into the game proper) god do you know how many random ass files i have as reference for gunter JP/EN voicelines, JP/EN my room bits, transcripts, sprites, etc ... after this fic is done i'm totally making that fanshrine if only to stick all this shit in one place lol

anyway, corrin starts this bright and peppy and eager for more.

eyebrow waggle-/shot

cute. :D

(the stretching's cute, too. like, more seriously, this isn't just wind-down/playtime, you can tell he's always incorporated this subtly as part of her training, likely modifying some soldier's training in a manner a little bit more befitting of her.)

they keep going...

Corrin: Ready as I'll ever be! There's no way I'm missing one of your throws! Gunter: All right, then. Here we go. Corrin: And easily caught. I have to say, Gunter, you have excellent form and follow-through. You know, I just remembered… Wasn't this ball made from a whip? Gunter: It was indeed. A pretty odd choice for material, I know… Corrin: Gunter… Would you be willing to tell me a few stories from when I was growing up? I still have a lot of holes in my memory from when I was little. Gunter: Of course. But you'll have to pay attention to the ball at the same time!

i do find it interesting garon was keeping tabs enough on corrin to have opinions on how she was being raised, but not close enough that she has any recollection of him.

now for an absolutely wtf level of fridge horror: there's a part of the same JP lines above that made me sit way the fuck up.

Gunther: Of course. Then, as we’re playing… On that day, King Garon was in an incredibly terrible mood… He handed me this whip. He told me that until you were obedient, I was to continue whipping you.

"continue whipping" [record scratch] wait what the fuck

... i think that implies that garon was whipping corrin before she was she was sent to the tower?? man what the hell kind of life did corrin have between being kidnapped out of hoshido and before ending up in the northern fortress under gunter's aegis.

gunter's no saint, not in the least bit (i have sooooooo many issues with the side of fandom who thinks he's just a sweet wholesome old grandpa lmao lol looooooooooooool no), but damn did he sure protect her from the worst of krakenburg.

okay this is interesting

a) she doesn't trust her memory like, at all. it's wild to think that gunter's literally likely the one dude that remembers her early lived life the best considering her other retainers (jakob/flora/felicia) were kids even slightly younger than she was, the hoshidan siblings were really young as well, and no other playable nohrian character was around much other than the occasional visit, post her kidnapping.

it's a little terrifying to think about how (i guess, if you interpret the game that way?) anankos was possessing him way back when and had free reign around corrin. that's kind of why i'm not totally in love with that interpretation (that'd be the perfect time for anankos to take out/corrupt corrin. why didn't he?).

anyway

b) that 'closed off' line says a lot from him, considering Gunter's hardly a socialite, either. in fact their whole support chain was framed around corrin seeking him out because he starkly seeks out alone time so much that it's a little ... isolating.

so like, if mister 'nah i don't need to be around people' is saying that, sheesh. i dabble in it with this slowburn fic, but i could almost see corrin being selectively mute at times, and hiding from people days at a time.

their dynamic ain't normal by any means but you can see how that kind of early-stage trauma bonding on both of their sides would influence [gestures at] everything, you know?

gunter's not just a father("figure"). or just a combat instructor. or just a mentor, or later, just a lover -- he's something that's more, even all combined. there's a hardwired sense of trust and codependency that's seared into them from the get-go.

(it's fucked up! god it's fun to write though.)

so i ambled away from my computer at this line while screenshotting these and only afterwards realized that this out of context sounds like a goddamn porno LMAO

[whispers] what in the fuckity fuck nintendo

corrin, sweetie.....

...................how in the fuck are we supposed to read that with a straight face sjkhshajhjhjjh

lol. lmao.

okay [drags hands down face and cackles]

so this is right about where i really have to say i genuinely cannot see their (romantic) relationship being anything but a kink relationship. (and i say this in the fic notes but it's not the 'bdsm acronym pasta garbage' sense, and it's not in the 50 shades of grey cliche 24/7 M/s sense either, god i cannot fucking stand the cliche version of that shit. shoot me if i ever write that.)

and i say that for several reasons.

one - if you're shipping them, their mutual power dynamics are so hopelessly tangled between them and it's the one language -- in a way -- that they both "speak" later on that is uniquely equipped to handle a lot of that and the trauma junk from both of them in a private, loving, dignifying way. i genuinely mean that, too. rev's possession arc with him, corrin recovering from the mind wipes, etc. they're gonna have to face a lot of unpleasant shit together, and actively grappling at and mutually playing with those realities is, in a complex way, hell of a lot healthier than simply pretending it doesn't exist in the first place.

(two - metatextually i think nintendo intentionally encouraged a kink flavor to gunter/corrin because this ship does squick the fuck out of most other people and i'm not totally unsympathetic to that, so i think it's a way of quickly weeding out everyone except the folks who are genuinely here for this in an unironic sense. )

three - i already wrote up kink analysis re: gunter here lol (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ

four - and sorta on this note, what's interesting is... with a lot of kinksters i know, they knew they vibed differently in that way really early on, even as kids. like even in stupid silly make believe play games they'll tie up barbies in random ass ways or discover in a genuinely innocent way that they like specific sensations of pain they can control. later on as adults, a lot of times the brain wires go [bzzt] and suddenly the world of power or sensation play makes a hell of a lot more sense, and frankly, is a lot more fun in certian sexy arenas of life. sometimes it comes along with trauma junk, sometimes it doesn't, it's not a binary thing (as basically everything isn't).

THAT IS A LOT OF WORDS TO SAY corrin also inadvertently being wired that way and having these little semi-accidental lines doesn't actually surprise me that much. (i can also see this specific line being a little bit of a 'hrmm' flag for gunter in that she's not going to run away instantly screaming at the idea of playing these specific kinds of games, later on once when/if they're romantic)

am i projecting a little? fuck yes, that's what we're here for

Gunter: Indeed. I knew that striking you wouldn't ever get you to open up to anyone. So I came up with a different method - one that used this ball. I returned to your room sometime later, and I rolled the ball over to you. Corrin: Which I immediately picked up, examined, and threw back to you. Gunter: Oh, you remember this part? Good.

that actually is incredibly wholesome she remembers this part. ;a; you know gunter was always probably lowkey sad at her not remembering key parts of her childhood, regardless or not if it was moments between them or not.

wheeze

so did you know, treehouse actually neutered this down from the JP version which was straight up, i shit you not:

Gunther: …It’s nostalgic… It really is. Kamui: …How long has it been since? I’ve always considered you like my real father, Gunther-san.

l u l "real father"""""

i'm dying man

every single goddamn time i think this ship can't possibly get more fucked up IT DOES

YOU STRAIGHT UP MARRY YOUR DAD IN THE JP VERSION LMAO

it would be hilarious enough just knowing the whole existence of a (married) S-support coming up but coming right after the heels of that THE BALL WAS A WHAT realization.... hee

anyway here's the last chunk:

Gunter: You… You are much too kind. Ah, now look at what you've made me do. Corrin: Gunter! It's rare that you miss a catch. Gunter: My sincerest apologies. There was… something in my eye. Corrin: Getting sentimental in your old age? Hang on, I'll get you a handkerchief.

damn girl, 'sentimental in your old age'. you vicious! :D

it is horrible of me but every time i think about the end of this support i bust out HYSTERICALLY LAUGHING for a completely different reason since if you headcanon Gunter as always holding a flame for/romantically harboring feelings for Corrin-

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT HIS THOUGHTS WERE TO THAT ""FATHER" LINE LMAO

on one hand: 'i'm special to her :'))))'

on the other: [ O H K O ]

anyway half of what makes the A-support peak fridge-[everything] is the S-support right after ~ coming soon!

[adoroborosgoth]

While its true that meta that over analyze every tiny detail of the content rarely ever go anywhere in the long run. And I 100% agree. I try not to speculate too much because I know it wont matter in the end.

BUT. Those posts and meta etc that dig into things. Are what keep the fandom going. Either when it's during a long wait for a new season or a show has ended, but the fans aren't ready to let go yet. (hannibal fandom) Those posts will be the bread and butter of the fandom for years to come because it keeps a conversation going.

Either through good or bad opinions of said metas and content, a conversation is a conversation. Fandom cannot survive on fanart and fic alone. It takes people talking about the media to keep it alive. Even if its just some silly thing that wont go anywhere.

Once the metas stop and the theorizing ends the content will trickle down to a drip and then any old post you see, no matter how insane it might sound, will be a light in the dark. Because you'll just be happy people are still talking about your favorite thing.

The thing about "everything is meant" is... that was said for S1.

I don't think I've seen it used by the cast/crew for S2. And part of this is because the strike was happening (and also Twitter is dying) so we have a lot less interviews and behind the scenes stuff for S2.

I see people pointing out so many small inconsistencies and going "everything is meant!" and like. Sure. Maybe some of these things are Clues.

But this is a season that had a very tight budget, and lost a lot of it to Covid precautions. Covid also limited where and how they could film. These budget restrictions severely cut down on the planned run time. We went from planned 55 min episodes to 42 minutes-- that's a full hour of screentime lost.

So yeah, I think S2 probably had continuity errors in a way that S1 didn't. I don't think Neil Gaiman is lying about the clocks or the Bentley(s) to throw us off. I think there probably just were errors that they didn't have time or money to fix, because most people would not notice. I'm sure the crew did their best! Little details like the tiles on the sink show us they put in a lot of effort. But you can't catch everything. Neil Gaiman is very good at working within the limitations of TV. He has told us some of the workarounds they had to do in S1 - the scene with Crowley at the bar was originally planned to be at night, in St. James' park, with Aziraphale's face a reflection in the water. The Globe scene was originally supposed to be full of people, but they couldn't afford the extras, so we got Crowley making Hamlet famous as a favor to Aziraphale. Now it's hard to imagine those scenes any other way. I fully believe that he (and the cast and crew) made the show they wanted to make, to the best of their ability. And probably there are some little clues and foreshadowing that will make sense only in the context of S3. But I would be cautious about fixating too much on tiny details or minor inconsistencies.

[makeste]

“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua​ has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua​ and @class1akids​’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua​ pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

[matan4il]

Hi!! First love all your meta! It’s so fascinating to read and as a film student a lot of your analysis is how I’ve analyzed it though there’s always something I didn’t notice that you did!

Quick question - you mentioned waiting 8 seasons for a ship where one married and had a kid then they got together and one died…and it sounds just so familiar but I can’t put my finger on it. What show / ship was that?? (Btw I agree with everything else in that post lol)

Hi, lovely Nonnie! Awwww, thank you so much for the kind words! :D Ooooh, you're a film student, I'm sure you're kicking ass at your studies, and I hope you're enjoying it, too! Please never hesitate to come talk to me about anything film related if you feel like it, I love TV and films in general. And I'm so glad we analyze Buddie the same way, and thrilled I can still add something new to the mix! *hugs big*

Oooh. OK, IDK if there's more than one show out there that fits that description, though I suspect the answer is sadly yes, 'coz TV showrunners can be pricks, but in my case, I was referring to The Blacklist, and the ship is Ressler and Liz (aka Keenler).

I wasn't gonna ramble about them, 'coz while I've watched the entire show, I was never an active part of the fandom, but since I got this ask... Let me just preface this by saying I think TBL is an excellent show, but it IS set in a dark world, so it’s not necessarily for everyone, unlike 911. Also, I will ramble for a sec, but I promise everything I’ll say will relate to Buddie at the end.

So, one of the things that makes TBL excellent is it's a show built around a central mystery, that they manage to make complex enough in order to stretch the mystery over 8 years, and yet the solution we learn in eps 821/822 (the finale of s8) is so organic that it actually fits EVERYTHING, all the little clues, insanely well, down to what seems like nonsensical throwaway comments in s1, and making even clues that seemed to contradict each other finally make sense and fit together. But that requires A LOT of planning ahead. I'm not saying things didn't change along the road when it comes to the exact sequence of steps that led to solving the mystery, some things did, like Liz's actress getting pregnant and that being written into the show, but the end goal of what the solution was and how all the pieces of the mystery puzzle fit together, and what elements would be necessary to get us there, they clearly had that goal in mind and it never changed, allowing them to plant hints, partial reveals and promises in such an effective manner along the way.

This amount of planning ahead is also relevant to Keenler. 'Coz when I watched s1, at first I didn't notice Ressler and Liz. TBL built such a mystery around Tom for Liz to decipher, it didn't look like she was even noticing anyone else, while Ressler had a laser focus on Red (after all, he's been chasing Red for 5 years). But by ep 104, it's Ressler's arms that Liz allows herself to fall apart in, and it's clear he probably already liked her to some degree (the way he checks up on her a little earlier in that ep is SO tender), but when Liz lets go, you can tell that this really managed to break through the walls he had built around himself. Still, what sealed things for me, that the show was planning on doing something with Liz and Ressler at some point, was ep 105. Because it seems to be keeping Liz completely preoccupied with the Tom mystery, yet you can tell she's taken a real interest in Ressler, unlike anything she was showing towards any other Task Force member at that point. It made the special attention they're paying to each other mutual, and highlighted their bond. So 105 is when I became convinced something is coming for these two. I just didn't know when.

Lemme tell you, I did not expect the show to drag out things with Tom - when he's clearly implied to be the wrong guy for Liz from the start - for as long as they did, and to throw in a wedding and a baby, too. Seriously, everyone shipping Keenler deserves a medal. And if you think we only have crumbs with Buddie at times, with Keenler we had microscopic ones. I once went an entire season on the way Liz looked at the spot on her arm that Ressler touched while he tried to comfort and reassure her. But I kept in mind that by ep 301, Ressler's feelings for Liz were kinda canon in my book. Red, whose devoted parental love for Liz is one of the reasons I kept watching, mentions the importance of Ressler's feelings for Liz (though he doesn't explicitly call those feelings love, which means that it's still not technically canon, the way Red words it when he could have talked about the importance of Ressler's friendship or loyalty to Liz, that's why I think it is subtextually canon from this point on). So what I took from this was that Ressler is already in love with Liz, that Red knows (and quietly approves, which is echoed in the talk he and Ressler have in ep 901), and that if Ressler wasn't aware of his own feelings before, he had to be aware of them after Red's words.

And yet, we still had to wait until 717 for Liz to explicitly express how much Ressler means to her, that she can't live without him, and until 801 for them to even kiss.

But the reason why we had to wait so long is a part of what makes this ship so good! Because the first 8 seasons of TBL are about the tragedy of Liz, whose fate is to a great degree shaped by the lies and manipulations of key people in her life. Some lie to her because they believe they're protecting her (like Red and Dom), while others lie to her 'coz they want something from her (like Tom and Tatiana Petrova). But as Liz says when she finally confesses her love in 819, Ressler was the one person who didn't lie to her, who was just there for her. That makes him truly stand out in her life. But it's more than that. What Tom wanted from Liz was her love and he didn't care what he had to do in order to get it, he was willing to lie, manipulate, kill and even put Liz in harm's way in order to be with her. Ressler, in contrast, never wants anything from Liz. He never demands anything from her, not even her love. He's content to be in her life and love her while being 'just a friend'. He loves her so long and so quietly, so unassuming and undemanding, it breaks my heart. He's made aware of his own feelings by 301 at the latest, and yet at the end of s3 he has to watch Liz marry another man. More than that, Ressler physically put himself between her and a rain of bullets so she could marry that other man. Just think about those levels of quiet devotion and love, not once complaining or asking for things to be different.

And it's exactly why he's the right man for Liz. Those literal YEARS of the ship being nothing more than hints and subtextual promises for something at some point in the vague future, they happen for a reason (as much as I wish Ressler and Liz got more time together before her actress left the show).

Ressler is in love with Liz for years, and when they finally happen, it's because she's finally ready for it. He's the one person who lets her decide her own fate. So even then, after Liz first kisses him, Ressler makes no demands or assumptions, he lets her decide what step to take next and when. To me, that makes their love story even more beautiful, as short and as tragic as their canon time ends up being. Because you just get how much it means, and you also know that to Ressler every moment they spent together counted, even before Liz kissed him. I am never gonna be normal about how much those two love each other (Liz too, even before she figured it out. The way she was there for Ressler and cared about him long before she worked out what it means and what they could have together).

And now I'm gonna circle back to Buddie, 'coz here's the thing. After roughly 3.5 years of Buddie, we CANONICALLY have more explicitly deep and meaningful moments between Buck and Eddie (I mean, the legal guardian talk ALONE, I wail) than we ever got with Keenler during the first 7 seasons of TBL. And the other Love Interests that Buddie got so far have been far less impactful or developed than Tom was. So if TBL could make good on its own promises and hints along the years, and let Keenler go canon as a couple, by all accounts Buddie should as well. I'm saying, I'm actually weirdly good with calling out ships early on. When the two characters are each canonically attracted to the gender of the other one, I almost never miss, no matter how long it takes for the ship to go canon and what they have to go through in order to get there. And those ships usually end up being the endgame ones, too. Here and there, I even managed to correctly call out a ship that went canon even though this entailed a same-sex attraction reveal. I've also had same-sex ships that I knew would never go canon, but I could usually tell the show would only ever hint at the couple and play around with the subtext, but it would never actually go there (for example, Supernatural). So really, if Buck and Eddie were canonically queer, or an opposite sex couple, I would have had no doubt that they would happen. And when comparing them to canon ships like Keenler, I also have no doubt Buddie should happen. And that they could, even after years of appearing as if they never would and in spite of many other LIs, even seemingly really significant ones. Will they? That's a mystery I can't solve, not yet, though I CAN tell you that I don't have that sense I had with SPN that there's no way the show would ever go there. We just gotta wait, watch and find out. But this is another little piece from me to all of you, about why I have faith and why Buddie def are the right fit for each other (as I mentioned repeatedly in my seasons 1 to 3a Buddie meta).

Sorry for the length, thank you for the ask and please have a look at my ask tag if you're looking for another ask reply. xoxox