#wait have i talked about the ost and how they use music and silence in this bc it's brilliant!! perfection!!

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 3 (thoughts + spoilers)

itsay ep 3 fucking obliterated me so here i am with some more thoughts on this episode (drama) in general. this is just me being an incoherent mess bc my mind is basically just one long !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! after having watched this (once raw and again subbed). this isn’t an analysis, it’s literally me just gushing over the ep as i watch it bc boy oh BOY.

WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT EVERYTHING HITTING DIFFERENT AFTER THE BOAT SCENE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i thought the tension in the boat knocked the breath out of me, this whole ep was that x10000.

they really started us off with a bang having continued straight off from last ep with teh smelling oh-aew’s hair, huh?? teh rubbing his face with the coconut paralleled with oh-aew smelling his coconut scented shampoo?? excuse me as i cry into my hands.

teh wasn’t willing to wake up early for tarn when she wanted to draw early in the morning, but when he sees that oh-aew wants to wake up early to study, HE’S the one that makes sure that oh-aew wakes up (and he stays up to keep oh-aew company, even if it’s just over the phone). then again when they’re at the resort...love that tarn realises that too. boy ain’t subtle. also, how is it even possible that they can have that much tension just speaking over the phone?? they’re not even in the same room and the tension between the two of them is so thick i can barely breathe.

the “let me know when you’re home”!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOUR. as soon as oh-aew asked teh why he always asked tarn that, i KNEW they were gonna put that in there for him and oh-aew and i’m glad i wasn’t disappointed :))) the look on oh-aew’s face when he saw the text!!!!!!!!!!! the way he stopped in his tracks!!!!!!!!!

i already had a feeling that oh-aew was going to be the first one to properly realise and accept his feelings for teh based on the teasers (makes sense since he already knows he likes boys...he’s more sure of his sexuality, which would of course make it easier for him to accept based on that). seeing the way he used the ‘if you get close to him and he doesn’t move away it means he likes you’ theory that teh initially told him to try on bas with teh too was really cute. and the jealousy over tarn. i LOVED that we got to see a more petty side to him when he announced he was going to room with bas partly bc of how lowkey jealous/mad he was about teh and tarn talking over the phone. it left teh so unsettled and confused (the piano music was PERFECT in that scene), and is 510% something teh would have done too (based on the previous two eps). they really are a perfect match huh. but poor bas being caught in the middle of the two of them ;;;

i liked that a lot of this ep was from oh-aew’s perspective. i feel like we got mostly teh’s pov in the first two eps, so it was really nice to see things from oh-aew’s pov too. gave us all more insight into his personality and he’s honestly SO MUCH more flirty than i thought he was going to be omg. the potato chip scene where he just crawled over to teh and ate that potato chip all the while staring straight at teh, then lying on his lap?????????? teh was (understandably) flustered after that AND SO WAS I. i was not expecting that whatsoever. i was also really impressed with how honest oh-aew was about his feelings. i love that he’s stayed true to their previous heart to heart in the boat scene last ep where he basically told teh that he wanted transparency between the two of them. he’s sticking to that, and i admire him so much for being able to be that vulnerable and true to himself. i thought there might have been more confusion with bas, but it looks like as soon as he realised his feelings might have faded/that he was feeling things for teh now, he just went with it. i know in my last text post i said that oh-aew is usually the more cautious/pragmatic of the two, but i feel like when it comes to his feelings, he seems to be really in tune with who and what he wants (more so than teh). this of course makes sense bc he’s likely had more time to come to terms with his sexuality...which is what teh’s figuring out for himself now. on top of that, oh-aew’s feelings for teh are a lot stronger than the ones he has for bas. and since he’s also more certain that teh likes him back, he’s so much bolder in how he approaches teh. and teh, to his credit, returns that honesty too when oh-aew basically pushes him into acknowledging that there’s ~something between them (hammock scene). i was kind of expecting him to push away from that/deny it, but he didn’t. he’s obviously just a lot more confused with his feelings and still needs some time to understand them and process them fully. on a related note, hammock scene was so loaded and SO well acted by the both of them. the fact that they can move from playful in one scene too achingly intense in another always throws me for a loop.

another thing i really love about the two of them is how they push one another to be better. it’s that rivalry that makes their bond even stronger, but it’s also something that worries me for future eps ngl...

but i honestly feel SO BAD for bas...clearly, he likes oh-aew, and although oh-aew was initially confused with the two of them, he’s definitely more convinced when it comes to his feelings for teh. but when bas essentially asked oh-aew out, and oh-aew said let’s invite the rest of they guys?? he looked so sad and my heart kind of broke a little. it’s like watching the poor second lead in a kdrama. and tarn too :( i really hope that when teh accepts his feelings for oh-aew, he doesn’t keep her hanging on the way that most BLs tend to do. she deserves so much better than that. my heart really hurts for the both of them, but at the same time teh and oh-aew are just magnets being pulled together at this point. they can’t stay away from each other.

the scene where teh rubs the smell of oh-aew’s coconut scented pen (from what he’s written) all over his face bc he’s at his limit and can’t stand all those pent up feelings anymore, only to race out to their special meeting place on the beach????? the moment he sees that oh-aew’s there too and he chases after him entranced (and the smile on oh-aew’s face)????? the way the instrumental ost just swells the moment they see each other????? the way they tease and dance around another yet again?????  PURE ART. A CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE. THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DRAMA I HAVE EVER SEEN. this whole sequence has to be my fave scene in this ep. god, that part where the camera closes in on them and they’re face to face before oh-aew steps away again had my heart trying to flutter its way out of my CHEST. THEY HAVEN’T EVEN KISSED IN THE SERIES YET AND THEY CAN REDUCE ME TO THIS. honestly, their power is something else. the fact that they can stir so many emotions in all of us just by the way they glance at one another, by the way they dart around one another barely touching...there are dramas/movies with multiple kiss/love scenes that can’t even create that tension and longing. it’s the kind of chemistry that burns you inside out. it’s so palpable.

the thigh massage scene had me CAPTIVATED (like all their scenes tbh) and then teh’s mum came to wake me (and the both of them) up haha. but for real, there’s just something so tentative about what’s happening. these feelings are new to them, and they’re easing their way into it. always toeing the line, but not overstepping it yet. it’s primal. they keep letting those feelings build up more and more and more. and you can always feel the way it’s leading to something else. and of course it leads into the next scene where teh’s tutoring oh-aew again but the atmosphere is so incredibly heavy, so tight, that they can’t contain it anymore (i mean, the fact that they contained it for so long when they’re teenage boys with feelings for one another is already astounding enough to me). teh tries so hard, but then the back scratch happens and...THIS ICONIC SCENE...i thought they were going to kiss then (before oh-aew turned around), but then we got something else entirely and the intimacy of it all. just wow. literally not a single kiss and it was one of the most sensual scenes i have ever seen in a BL. it’s just the way they get so caught up in one another. THE YEARNING OF IT ALL. this whole ep was just pure anticipation, and i have never ever wanted two characters to kiss more than i do these two. it’s the build up that gets me (idk if this can be considered slow build since there’s only been like three eps but it sure as hell feels like it!!!!!!!!!). then teh pulls away and it’s like a smack in the gut...but at the same time, i get it. he’s not ready yet. there’s so much for him to take in and he’s not there yet (not the way oh-aew is), and just like oh-aew, it keeps us all hanging on, so close but not quite there yet.

so much of this felt like this cat and mouse game between the both of them where one of them would advance, then retract...it makes the tension between the two of them even MORE overwhelming bc you keep anticipating something, and you get fleeting moments of it, but then it’s over by the time you blink. they keep toying with one another, but not crossing the line YET bc they know that that’ll change everything the moment they do. it’s such a testament to the writing AND the acting bc it’s the chemistry that bkpp have with one another that creates all of that push and pull dynamic, that yearning and desire. having to wait a whole week again is just devastating...i think next ep seems like it might be the climax?? i’m pretty sure it’ll be the ep where teh accepts his feelings (or at least won’t be able to hold himself back physically anymore), where all the build up finally properly erupts, but at the same time, i just know that the angst is going to start piling up and idk how to feel other than terrified bc i’m way too invested now tbh.

anyway, this drama is absolutely magnificent, and all i want to do is rave about how damn good it is. so high quality. it feels so fresh, like they’re reinvented the tried and true coming of age tale in a way, and we’re all just along for the ride. it transcends the typical thai BL story (and i now understand why they were hesitant to label this as BL when it really feels like it encompasses so much more than the usual BL tropes and story). one of my fave dramas of the year by far (BL or otherwise). it’s just a class apart from any drama i’ve watched before and ticks every single box for me. stunning in every way. down to every detail and every feeling and emotion. it’s so raw and real and i can’t praise what nadao and the team have done with this enough (and we still have 2 more eps to go!!). there’s just so much meaning in every little thing, and in all those little things you can see the time and care it’s taken them to make this.

[doctorofmagic]

My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

[nctsworld]

nct as wholesome things based on events and little things from my own relationship 

taeil: always up to cook and bake for me, but also needs to glance at the recipe to make sure he’s doing it right; confused when i use gen z slang or memes but tries to use it in his vocabulary; holding me close for a while when i'm anxious or have had a bad day

johnny: constant hand-holding when he drives; flirting with me as we work out as if i’m not his girlfriend; taking showers together, and often making jokes and having lengthy conversations during them

taeyong: leaves little love notes around the bedroom as a mini-scavenger hunt to remind me of his love; making hearts together with our hands and arms after saying i love yous; letting me finish the rest of the food even though he's still kind of hungry

yuta: back hand kisses and placing my hand on his face; writing heartfelt messages in anniversary and birthday cards; drops anything immediately if i urgently need him to be where i am

kun: playfully calls me out for taking all his clothes, but deep down doesn’t mind it at all; although he hates bugs as much as me, he sucks it up to kill them when they’re around; patiently explains music theory to me even though i will never understand

doyoung: complaining how much we hate people and then saying how we're glad to have each other with heart eyes; copies me when i stick my tongue out or crinkle my nose when he teases me; having a legit couple photoshoot in fancy clothes

ten: having conversations with each other by mouthing words or texting in a room full of people even though he’s literally sitting next to me; going shopping for clothes together and being on the same page on what generally looks like good fashion and what doesn’t; teases me about randomly twerking but then also joins in

jaehyun: doing things together in comfortable silences, but also locking eyes once in a while with a loving smile; getting ready to sleep and i'm in his arms in bed while we're both on our phones; buys me welcome back gifts after i come back from a family vacation

winwin: pats my head and runs fingers through my hair after a long day; intently listens to me talk about anything even if it's things he has no interest in; falls asleep in his computer chair and i tell him to go to bed but he cutely mumbles 'nope, i'm good'

jungwoo: brushing teeth together and making silly faces at each other in the mirror; having a sing-off on how long one can sing a note and smiling as more time passes; having fun at science and space centers and playing with all the hands-on exhibitions 

lucas: brings me food during a 50+ person lecture and then run out of the hall as if nothing happened; gives great full body massages without hesitation; shows me cute animal pics and videos and enjoys the way my face lights up

mark: philosophical and existential talks in bed at night until the sun rises; impromptu slow-dancing while softly singing along to the song playing through the speakers into my ear; learns tabs to songs that i like and play them on guitar for me 

xiaojun: reading the same books/short stories together and discussing them afterwards; attending my lectures to spend more time with me despite how he has no more classes for the day; sings me songs to sleep

hendery: makes puns and bad jokes in-chat when i’m gaming with him, but they never fail to make me laugh; down for couple costumes for halloween; sharing random youtube videos/memes to each other without any context 

renjun: stargazing and talking about constellations; forehead and on the head kisses; playing punch buggy during car rides/nearby any cars

jeno: holding hands on amusement park rides; wraps his arm around my shoulder in mid-conversation with my friends; offers the jacket or coat he’s wearing if i’m ever cold 

haechan: playing different video games side by side; big on giving back hugs, but likes to receive them too; begs for an actual kiss if i tease him and kiss his cheek instead

jaemin: gives me his opinion on colouring when i make edits and gifs; showing memes on our phones during dinner; sharing drinks when one person’s runs out and they’re super thirsty 

yangyang: playing video games with each other (and if it’s a competitive game, he’ll let me win a few rounds); knowing my food and drink orders like the back of his hand; going to an orchestra together, but for video game osts

shotaro: makes a couple choreography piece and performs it on stage together (and sharing a kiss at the end); practices dance covers together; pushes each other to not only be better dancers, but better people too 

sungchan: never forgets to say or message me ‘i love you’ & ‘good night’ before going to bed; rushes to carry heavy bags or items i’m holding; playing hand games (rock paper scissors, chopsticks, etc.) together while waiting for something

chenle: kindly calls me out on things to keep me grounded, but ensures that he does it lovingly and that’s why he’s in my life; whispers into my ear and has a separate conversation with me aside from the get-together we’re at; doesn’t send heart emojis (unironically) to anyone, except to me 

jisung: tickle fights; always offering if i want to eat x food that i don’t like out of respect and love; eating ice cream side by side, sitting on a log by the beach 

[edendaphne]

“Discordant Sonata” Chapter 19

>>Click here to read on Ao3<<

>>Click here to read on Wattpad<<

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CHAPTER 19: ATTACCA

Music glossary:        Attacca - "To attack at once"; used as a direction in music at the end of a movement to begin the next without pause

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(Mood music: "The Conversation" - Pearl Django)

Being mere months away from graduating lycée meant that their group of friends didn’t have as many classes together, due to their diverse individual interests and talents. However, they always made sure to make time to hang out after school before their extracurricular activities began.

And thus, Adrien, Nino, and Alya made their way to the classroom where the art club gathered to meet up with Marinette. From there, Adrien would make his way to either fencing lessons or Chinese, depending on the day of the week. Marinette would join him on days when he had Chinese (as she’d become determined to master the language ever since her uncle visited from Shanghai a few years back), Alya would go to her journalism club, and Nino would travel to his part-time internship at the local recording studio.

“–and the backlogs just keep piling up!” Alya spoke as they walked, voice full of vigor and excitement. “I’ve had to recruit yet another mod to help me keep order in the forums! Especially since the Ladyblog has started going international and we’ve had to organize servers in different languages. You wouldn’t believe how crazy it’s gotten in there recently!”

“Dang, babe,” Nino interjected. “Sounds like things are super rough for you right now.”

“Not really, more busy than anything. Especially because I have that big research article due next week, there’s just not enough hours in the day to try to read everything that goes on in there. But I have my mods report to me daily, ‘cause I always like to stay on top of everything that goes on in the chats!”

“What’s gotten everyone so riled up in the Ladyblog lately?” Adrien chimed in. “I don’t recall it being nearly this busy last year.”

The trio entered the art club’s classroom and settled down at the table where Marinette sat, getting her various sketches organized. The art teacher was quite easy going, so they didn’t have to talk in hushed whispers and could come and go as they pleased.

“Well, to be honest, it’s because of Chat Noir,” Alya replied.

Adrien tried to contain his surprise. “R-really? What– uhhh, what do people have to say about him?”

He winced inwardly. He knew he shouldn’t ask. But curiosity got the better of him today. Maybe learning the news through the filter or Alya’s paraphrasing instead of reading the negative comments firsthand would lessen the sting of what people said about him.

Marinette whipped her head around at the mention of his alter ego. “Wait, what about Chat Noir?” she inquired.

“Girl,” Alya replied, her voice filled with renewed exuberance. “You would not believe how much we’ve had to censor and moderate all the inappropriate things people have been saying!”

Adrien flinched in his seat. “Wow… do people really hate him that much?” he asked, trying to conceal the dejection in his voice.

Alya busted out into loud guffaws. “Hate?! Dude, most people don’t hate him; they LOVE him! By ‘inappropriate’ comments, I mean the kinda stuff you wouldn’t want your grandma to catch you reading! There’s a whole giant section dedicated to his new fan club!” she said as she removed her glasses so she could wipe away the tears of laughter.

“WHAT?!” Adrien squawked in confusion, his face feeling hotter than the ovens back at the bakery. “A fan club??”

Marinette burst into uncontrollable snickering. “Has it really gotten that bad?!”

Nino joined in, “Bro! Adrien, I can’t believe you haven’t heard Alya rant about these rabid fans before! They call themselves the ‘Noir Nation’, and the kind of things they’ve been writing would make adult romance authors blush like schoolgirls!”

Alya nodded, thoroughly amused. “And that’s not including all the fanfiction people have been writing.”

“Wait– the WHAT?! There’s fanfiction?!!” Marinette gaped in shock, as if she’d been hit in the face with an enormous pie. “Alya, how come I never knew about this?!”

“Why? You wanna read em? Girl, you’ll get no judgment from me. If you wanna check ‘em out for yourself, just go check under the hashtag ‘Ladynoir’.”

Marinette stammered as her arms flailed in her bewilderment, accidentally knocking her phone off the table and onto the floor, her eyes bigger and rounder than Adrien had ever seen them. “They have a ship name?!” she screeched.

“Just mind the ratings though,” Alya advised. “Some of them can get pretty steamy. You wouldn’t want someone to catch you reading those in public,” she added with a wink.

Marinette continued to sputter incoherently. “NO, I am NOT gonna read it!! It would be different if they were fictional characters, but I could never read fanfiction about real people!”

Alya raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. “Mm-hmm… Sure.”

Marinette’s hands flew to her face, trying to hide how red her entire face had gotten, and released a long squeak that resembled a hamster on helium. As shocked as Adrien was about these rather unexpected news, seeing Marinette’s over-the-top reaction brought a wide grin to his face and he busted out laughing.

He bent over to retrieve Marinette’s phone, since she was too busy being mortified to notice it had fallen to the floor. As he was about to hand it back, the screen lit up and Adrien saw the lockscreen wallpaper: it was the same photo of Ladybug and Chat Noir that he himself had saved earlier that day. He smiled, not exactly sure what to make of it, but finding it adorable that she’d liked the photo enough to set it as her lockscreen.

He tapped her shoulder, waiting for her to respond. She emerged from behind her impromptu hand shield and turned her head, then her eyes widened once again as soon as she saw what Adrien was showing her. She jolted straight up, stiff as a board, and her eyes met his, cheeks turning tomato red. He winked at her, amused about this little secret between them, and handed back her phone without a word.

Marinette accepted it with a meek-sounding, “Thanks,” looking like she wanted to explain the photo, but not able to do so unless she wanted Alya and Nino to find out that she was potentially a… ahem– “Ladynoir” shipper.

Switching the conversation to something else (which Marinette seemed to be eternally grateful for), the group chatted until it became time for them to scatter to their next destinations.

With a wave, Adrien exited the classroom and headed towards fencing practice, one of the few activities he decided to stick with despite not being forced to participate. Fencing, along with Chinese lessons, were not only enjoyable, but were also quite useful. Sadly, he didn’t have access to a piano anymore, so he wasn’t able to pursue that hobby for the time being. Hopefully later down the line, when things had settled down and he’d found his own place to live, he’d be able to finance one.

Thinking about the future had become an exciting pastime instead of an anxiety-inducing one, and it was all thanks to his friends and those he cared about. He smiled as he reached the door to the locker rooms, continuing to daydream of what was to come.

(Mood music: "Recollection 3" - Shirō Sagisu (BLEACH OST, "The Diamond Dust Rebellion")

Adrien finished getting dressed for fencing, his head still blissfully floating in the clouds. He stored his belongings into his assigned locker, shutting it with a loud clang, which echoed through the empty room.

Huh...? Empty?

He swiveled his head around, surprised that there was no one beside him. He stood up and began walking down the large room, peeking down the other locker rows looking for his classmates; but there was nobody.

Where was everyone? There’s no way that every single one of them was running late. Had his lessons been cancelled and he’d somehow missed a text message or email? He began heading back towards his locker to check his phone for any schedule changes.

Before he reached his destination, however, heavy thudding footsteps broke the eerie silence. Adrien whipped his body around to greet whoever they belonged to.

The owner of those footsteps was one of the last people Adrien expected to meet here.

“Gaspard?!”

Adrien stood agape, face to face with his old bodyguard, whom he hadn’t seen in a couple of years; not since he’d resigned and moved out of the country. Nathalie had mentioned that in his resignation letter, Gaspard said that he’d become involved in an overseas business venture involving the market of rare action figures. Nevertheless, Adrien couldn’t help but suspect that his father’s ill temper and poor treatment of their employees was the true reason for his departure.

Adrien’s first reaction was surprise and joy, and he rushed forward to greet and embrace him. However, as he approached and got a better look at the man’s face, Adrien’s mood instantly morphed into confusion and apprehension. There was something odd about his eyes.

Something wasn’t right. Why was Gaspard here? And why now?

He came to a halt about a meter before reaching him. An oppressive weight seemed to press in all around him, and he had to suppress a shiver. “Wait. Gaspard, did–” he gulped, “–did my father send you?”

His old bodyguard did not reply, but took a heavy step towards him. Adrien stepped back.

“Please… I can’t go back. I live somewhere else now, and I’m very happy there. Whatever he told you about the situation, it’s a lie.”

His bodyguard continued to approach him, his stare vacant and unsettling.

Fighting the urge to panic, he pleaded, “You don’t have to do this. If he’s offered you compensation, I can match it; it’ll just take me a bit of time. But we can work something out, right?? For old time’s sake?”

He continued walking backwards until he bumped into something firm, but it wasn’t a wall; it was another person. Before he could turn around, they grabbed him by the shoulders, detaining him and preventing him from running away.

He was about to shout for help when something sharp jabbed him on the side of the neck, injecting a cold liquid. Adrien’s eyes grew wide in terror.

Shit.

Adrien swore as he jerked away, elbowing whoever was behind him and managing to break free. Rubbing at the spot where the syringe had stabbed him, he glanced back to take a look at his other assailant, only to see... another Gaspard?

Why are there two of him??

This was wrong. Gaspard didn’t have a twin; he knew that for a fact. He’d worked for the Agrestes ever since Adrien was a toddler and was too young to even pronounce his name correctly (hence the nickname “Gorille”, which stuck around for years afterwards). Additionally, there was something uncanny, otherworldly, even, about the way these two men looked and moved.

He shook himself out of his stupor. He didn’t have time to contemplate any possible explanations. He had to get out of there fast.

He sprinted towards the exit, but only managed to travel a few paces before he lost his footing and tripped. He fell to the ground hard, almost hitting his head on a nearby bench. As he struggled to get up, he realized that his fingers and toes had already gone numb.

Not good.

Time was running out. Adrenaline coursed through him and, with a grunt, he hefted himself to his feet and scrambled towards the exit, as fast as he could despite a heavy limp. Though his heart was hammering and his legs felt like they were filled with sand, he pushed himself, concentrating on reaching the door.

After taking a few steps, however, he realized that even if he did manage to exit the locker room, the area beyond was an open courtyard. Meaning he wasn’t going to be able to reach someplace safe before getting caught. He had no choice but to transform into Chat Noir, and hopefully Plagg’s powers and strength could help him escape and find somewhere to hide.

He’d scarcely uttered the first syllable in the transformation phrase when he was tackled to the ground. A giant hand swiftly covered his mouth and Adrien felt his hands get bound together with thick zip ties behind his back. A muffled scream of writhing frustration made its way up his throat as his limbs became more and more useless by the second.

No… This can’t be happening! Please, this can’t be how it all ends!

Just when his life had finally gained a semblance of normalcy and he’d found happiness again, it would get ripped away and he would disappear without a trace, leaving everyone to wonder what had happened to him. Leaving his friends to think that Gabriel had pulled him from school and they would never see him again. Leaving Ladybug to wonder if Chat had abandoned her forever. Leaving her to fight Hawkmoth alone. Again.

He couldn’t let that happen. He thrashed and struggled as furiously as he could, fighting the feelings of overwhelming helplessness that threatened to consume him. Nearing despair, he was too distracted to notice Plagg phrasing through the wall, away from the skirmish, in search of the only person who could save him.

(Mood music: "Run" - Ludovico Einaudi)

Marinette fidgeted with her pencil, her feet wiggled and bounced under her desk. She didn’t understand; when she’d arrived at the art club, her head had been filled with inspiration and ideas that she’d been excited to draw and execute. However, at the moment, her mind was filled with noise and disquietude.

Having had enough, she excused herself to visit the restroom. Once she’d walked far enough from the classroom, she opened her purse to talk to Tikki about her current dilemma.

“It’s the same feeling as last night, Tikki! Except that would mean one of three possibilities. Option A.) It’s nothing and I’m going crazy. And— don’t give me that look, Tikki! I can see what you’re thinking and I don’t have time for your cheeky sass right now!” The kwami snickered while Marinette cleared her throat and continued, “Option B.) that Chat is here, at this school, which is impossible because his school’s on the other side of the city, that’s why he always leaves the house super early for his long commute.”

Tikki opened her mouth and looked like she was about to say something, but then didn’t (...or couldn’t?).

Marinette resumed, “Or, C.) that my–– what do I even call it? My ‘Spidey sense’??–– that it’s got a long distance mode, and Chat is all the way across Paris and he’s in trouble! But what am I supposed to do about that from here?! I wouldn’t even know where to begin looking!”

Tikki shrugged. “Follow your instincts, Marinette. There’s no harm in taking a quick look around the school, right?”

Marinette groaned. “UGH! It doesn’t make sense!! Am I going to get interrupted like this all the time from now on?” She shook her head resolutely. “No. I can’t just go off on random field trips every single time I feel a random fit of anxiety. I’m sure it’s just leftover jitters from last night. I’m supposed to call Master Fu after school anyway; he can help me figure everything out. I’m just gonna go back to class and forget about it.”

Tikki frowned, not quite convinced, but deciding not to press further.

Marinette made her way back to the classroom in a frustrated huff. But as her hand reached to turn the handle, the feelings of danger and urgency multiplied tenfold. Without a word, she sprinted away in the opposite direction, not even knowing where she was running to, only knowing she had to get there immediately.

She reached the large common area of the school downstairs. Her head whipped around, frantically searching for something, anything. In her haste, she didn’t notice a small black creature zoom into her open purse.

A few moments later, she felt a frantic tugging at her shirt from below.

“Marinette!! Over there! Check the locker room, quick!!!” Tikki whisper-screamed as she peeked outside the purse, her tone uncharacteristically frantic.

Marinette nodded, then sprinted to the locker room.

“Wait! You should transform first!” Tikki added.

No time!

“Marinette, wait!!”

Despite Tikki’s protests, Marinette raced towards the double doors, tackling them open.

Three sets of eyes landed on her as she skidded to a halt, but only one pair consumed her entire attention. She gasped in horror, hands flying to her face as she stared at what was occurring in front of her. Adrien let out a desperate, muffled scream urging her to run.

His panicked voice snapped her out of her dazed shock; but instead of running, she stood her ground, eyes darting back and forth across the area searching for something useful. The room was remarkably barren except for a lone broom a short distance away from her. She grabbed it and leaped towards the closest attacker (the one holding Adrien down), swinging it like a baseball bat.

The man didn’t even try to avoid the hit; the broomstick merely bounced off the side of his face where Marinette had hit him. She frowned in confusion, then tried hitting him again, bringing the stick down on the top of his head like an axe.

SNAP.

The end of the broom flew off, and Marinette stared in shock at the broken broomstick.

“What the hell are you?!” Marinette exclaimed, shifting her grip on the shortened wooden stub.

She pounced at the second bodyguard, bringing her weapon down in a stabbing motion; but he swatted at her hand, disarming her. She yelped in pain, leaping backwards to get some distance between them.

She was outmatched. The only strategy available was to use their own size against them. With a feint to the side, she shot at his legs for a takedown, hoping to catch him off balance. He called her bluff and shoved her backwards with his giant palm, then kneed her in the stomach.

Winded from the impact, Marinette doubled over with a gasping wheeze, fighting with all her might to keep herself from collapsing onto the ground. She forced herself upright and attacked again. With a clumsy jerk, she lunged forward, swinging wild punches at her opponent. The shots connected but his expression barely changed; it was like beating a breathing punching bag.

The bodyguard backhanded Marinette across the face. Pain shooting across her cheek, she staggered, almost losing her balance. In her daze, she watched helplessly as the man reared his arm back. There was no chance to dodge. His fist connected with her abdomen, delivering a liver shot that shut down her entire body. She crumpled to the floor as if boneless. She tried to call out Adrien’s name, but her mouth merely opened in a silent scream.

Marinette could hear Adrien’s distressed screaming, but it sounded distant, like they were underwater. The edges of her vision grew black and fuzzy, the entire room dissolving around her. She had to consciously force her lungs to inhale, but couldn’t fill them all the way, as if a boulder had been placed on top of her chest.

Faintly, she felt herself getting picked up off the ground and carried away over someone’s shoulder. Disoriented and semi-blinded, the sudden movement and rough jostling made her head spin and gave her vertigo. She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it all out.

A few moments later, they stopped moving, and she heard a door burst open. Where were they? Before she could gather her senses, she was in the air, thrown several meters away, landing with a hard thud. A sharp pain traveled down her body as she rolled into the wall across them. The shriek that tried to escape her throat emerged as a strained, shallow whine.

The man stomped out, leaving her alone in the room. “Stop…!” she rasped out, managing to tilt her neck upwards, head pounding.

The bodyguard slammed the door shut, followed by a bang and a clattering sound that could only mean he’d broken the doorknob of whatever room she was in.

Marinette's vision became more and more blurred. At the verge of losing consciousness, she fought to keep her eyes open as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

No, she couldn’t pass out! She had to save Adrien! Stay awake, Marinette, stay awake!!

She bit down on her lip hard, focusing on the sharp sting, on the swelling that was already forming around her right eye, forcing herself to feel the pain her body was in. At this moment, feeling pain was better than falling unconscious. She concentrated on her breathing, slowly regaining her senses.

She reached down to open her purse and get Tikki’s help… only to be met with emptiness. Panic settled in her gut as she realized that sometime during the skirmish, the purse had slipped off her shoulder. She sat up, slowly, so she wouldn’t risk feeling faint again from the change in positions.

She squinted, adjusting her eyesight to the darkness of the room. It seemed to be some sort of supply closet. After a failed few attempts to stand, she crawled towards the door instead, careful not to bump into the crates and shelves that filled the area.

The girl eyed the broken doorknob wearily. She was pretty proficient at lockpicking and breaking into things, but not as good at breaking out. Her only hope was that Tikki would be able to find her… if she was even nearby.

She swore to herself. Why had she rushed in and attacked two grown ass men (who, incidentally, may or may not be supernatural to boot!) instead of hiding and creating a strategy?! Now she was useless, Tikki was gone, and Adrien was surely on his way to get auctioned to the highest bidder in the criminal black market and ransomed off for an enormous sum. Great job, Marinette. Adrien’s been abducted and it’s all your fault.

Gathering all the determination she could muster, she tried to call out for help. But her voice was still too hoarse, and only a weak croak came out. She clenched her fists, grumbling irritably. Time for a different approach. Somehow, she needed to make noise.

After a brief search, she found a hard, metallic object that she could use to hammer on the door. She tested it out; it was surprisingly effective. She doubled her efforts, making as big a racket as possible. Hopefully, it would only be a matter of time before somebody heard her, let her out, and she could go find Adrien.

She couldn’t let anything else happen to another loved one. Not again.

–––––

I'M REEEAAAAALLY SORRY FOR THAT CLIFFHANGER JSHDKFJHSKDF ᕕ(╯°д°)ᕗ  I tried splitting up the sections differently but it didn't really flow as well.

But the next chapter is almost done, so I'll have it ready by next weekend!!

[atinydise]

Ateez leaving their s/o for their exes

❦ Genre: Angst (yes it’s the mood these days! 😈)

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 4k4.

❦ Background music: BlackPink - Lovesick Girls (Kdrama OST Version)

HONGJOONG

Once again, Hongjoong's voicemail asked you to leave a message. This week, he has been really busy. You couldn't see him at all. You tried to come to the studio, but he wasn't there, so you just gave up and waited for him to come. He didn't. For almost 2 weeks, you didn't receive a call or a text. The only way to see that everything was good for him, was his post on Ateez' social media. You were curious to know if he missed you, even a bit.

While you were scrolling on your Instagram Feed as a boring Friday night, you heard your entrance door opening. Your heart made a jump in your chest, he was finally free enough to come. "Hongjoong?" You asked, not moving a bit from the couch. In a short time, he appeared at the door frame. And honestly, you hated the look he had on his face. It was a mix of sadness and coldness. Something you never saw before. "Oh wow, are you okay? Because you look terrible." "Just tired." He replied, sitting on the seat, next to you but not really close as usual. "Do you want to go to sleep now? The bed is ready in any case-" "Y/N, I came here to break up with you."

A long and awkward silence settled in the room. Your brain wasn't processing the actual situation. It was so sudden. "Wait." You stopped him to say something else. "You can't come here after 2 whole weeks without talking to me, and just say 'let's break up'." "Y/N this is really not easy to do... can you please be more considering?" he sighed, running his hands through his blue hair. "Considerate? You don't even give me a reason. So, no, I won't be more considering." You said angrily. "It's just that I saw Jin at the bakery 1 month ago." He started. "We talked for 30 minutes or something and just with this short chat... I miss her. Like I can't stop thinking about her." You scoffed, not believing that he could do this to you. You stood up from the couch and went to the hallway to open the entrance door. "Where are you going?" He asked. "I'm staying there, but you... Get out." "Y/N, I don't want to-" "Hongjoong, get out. I can't even see you anymore." You stomped, pointing at the hallway. "You ghosted me for 2 weeks, not even asking me if I was okay or even alive. You should have told me that you were doubting about our relationship. But you decided to be selfish and to-" your voice crackhead. You knew sobs would come in a matter of time. "To ignore my feelings." Hongjoong was staring at you. He felt really ashamed of himself. "So, leave now. Please." You were practically begging him to go out of your apartment and obviously of your life. Hongjoong nodded and grabbed his jacket back. He stopped one last time in front of you. "I'm so sorry Y/N." He tried to grab your arm, but you stepped back, disgusted. You just pointed at the corridor once again and waited for him to leave. When he stepped out and that you closed the door, you couldn't hold your tears anymore. They stormed one by one on your face. You fell on your knees, your hand still holding the knob. For a second you freaked out because you couldn’t feel air going in your lung because of the emotion surrounding you. But it was not the worse pain today. You couldn't believe he chose her.

SEONGHWA

You were cooking for your boyfriend. He had a stressful week and you wanted him to relax a bit. Even with his ethic schedule, Seonghwa managed to spend some time with you. The only thing strange thing is that he was physically there but mentally, he was totally absent. It's like he wasn't listening to you anymore or that you needed to repeat every time the same question. "He might really be stressed," you concluded. So, as a good and kind girlfriend, you prepared him a good dish made with love.

The moment you heard the bell rings, you rushed to the door. "Hello beautiful soul," you greeted him. "Hi Y/N," he smiled at you. His smile was a bit sad, but you didn't mind, he was tired for sure. "I cooked a really good meal for you!" You said, entering back in the kitchen. He was following you, his big coat still covering his body. "Are you cold here?" You giggled, "I can turn on the heater if you-" "Y/N, can we talk a bit?" He asked, pointing at the table in the middle of the kitchen. "Sure." You sat down on the chair in front of him, glancing at your lasagna in the oven at the same time. "What's happening?" "You know how I hate lying to you or even hide something." He held your hand on the table. You just nodded, waiting for him to continue his speech. But you secretly enjoyed the warmness of his hands. "So, I will be frank." "You are making me anxious." You said, raising a brow. "I met my ex-girlfriend at the mall last week." He started. "I was about to ditch her, but a part of me wanted to talk to her." You puffed at his face, "you have really bad acting skills babe. I can't believe you." "I'm totally serious Y/N. I still have feelings for her." He finally said. "I'm not believing you." "I was distant a bit these days and I think you noticed it. I was constantly thinking about her." More and more Seonghwa was confessing his love for someone else, more he felt your hands removing the grip on his. "I don't think I stopped loving her honestly. I'm really sorry." You were speechless. You never thought that your night would end so badly. "Y/N, I really tried to convince myself that you were the one and only. But I just can't. I can't lie to myself. And I don't want to hurt you with a one-sided love. You deserve way more than that." He explained, trying to find the right way to make you understand the situation without hurting you. "I wish I didn't see her again, so we wouldn't be in this situ-" "I think I need some time alone," you said before going to the bedroom. Seonghwa was really tormented, he hated seeing you this way, but none of you will stay happy in this relationship, knowing that his heart was somewhere else.

YUNHO

"Oh, I didn't know you like black mushrooms! Hyena loved it too!" Giggled Yunho. You put down the pack of mushrooms you had in your hand. "Finally… I think I don't need it this week." "Hyena was indecisive too," he tickled your chin playfully. You smiled at him but inside of you, your whole soul was boiling. It's been almost a week that Yunho was non-stop talking, praising or even comparing you to his ex-girlfriend, Hyena. They dated for almost 2 years before you. Okay, it was one of his most important relationships, but why does he need to talk about her all the time? Everything started when they met at the supermarket. You saw the scene with your own eyes. You spotted the little sparkles in your boyfriend’s eyes when he was talking to her. You never thought she would be a danger since they broke up on bad terms. Seems like that you were wrong. She was a good threat for your couple. "What else do you need?" He asked, looking at the list. "I think I'm done for today to be honest." You replied, annoyed. "Really? Hyena is so stressed when she goes to the supermarket. She's like thinking she won't find anything anymore." He added. You turned around, to face him. "Can you stop talking about her?" Yunho blinked at you, looking like a puppy. "What do you mean?" "Hyena. You are nonstop talking about her! Hyena this, Hyena that!" "Ah really? I'm sorry, I didn't notice..." he apologized, biting his lip. "You kidding right? From the morning to the night, you have only her name in your mouth." "I'll stop talking about her, sorry." You were about to go back to your course list, but something was wrong. You faced your boyfriend again. "Why are you thinking about her so much? Do you miss being with her?" You asked, praying for him to say no. "I-I, no, of course no." He stuttered. "It's just because we saw her last week." "A part of me wants to believe the lie you just said." He bit his lip once again. He was definitely anxious. "Do you miss her? Yes or no?" You resumed, simply asking him to choose an answer. "This is complicated," he started. "I don't know." You scoffed, annoyed by this answer. You were usually comprehensive, but today it wasn't the case. You wanted to know if you were the only idiot since the beginning of this relationship. "This is not complicated Yunho. I think that you are in love with her." "I wouldn't say that, this is too strong." "Then tell me that you won't talk to her anymore and that I'm the only one you love." The long silence who settled between both of you was the best and shorter answer you could have. "I knew it." You whispered. "Y/N, it's just that we spent so many good memories together. I can't forget her like that." "I heard enough." You said, almost throwing back all of your vegetables in his arms. "Y/N wait, don't go." "I don't want to see you anymore. You obviously used me to forget your ex, but you failed." You said, before turning back again, but for the last time.

YEOSANG

You were in the subway, waiting for the train to stop at the right station. You needed to look at the board more than usual because your mind was somewhere else. You couldn't stop thinking of your boyfriend and his ex. He was meeting his ex-girlfriend every day for a whole week now. They needed to work together. They were the daily MC of a new idol program. At first, it didn't bother you. Yeosang was professional and they weren't even talking backstage. Until she starts to engage the conversation with him. When you went there to just say hi, you noticed a strong alchemy between these two. Useless to say that you didn't like it at all. Today, you went there with him again. You wanted to see their whole interactions. You were the first one to be there. Only a few staff were present to prepare the set. The first thing your boyfriend asked was "is Kira there?" He didn't even greet the staff. "No, she will be a little bit late today." "You want to see her so bad huh?" you asked. "Oh, come on don't start." He rolled his eyes. "Don't start what?" You asked, even if you knew exactly what he meant. "Your jealousy and stuff like that. We don't have enough time to argue right now." He said, before going to the hair stylist. "Well, that was cold." You muttered to yourself. You sat on the couch on the corner of the room. You were patiently waiting for Kira to arrive. You were about to fall asleep when, she entered, her hands full of chicken packs. "Yeosaaang! I got a surprise for you!" She yelled. "Oh, you scared me idiot!" He giggled at her. "Hello," you greeted her. "Oh hi, you are?" She smiled at you. "Yeosang's g-" "Friend! She's my friend." He cut you straight. You looked at him, completely horrified. Why was he lying on something so important? "Oh, nice to meet you," she handed her hand to you. You didn't care about her, you wanted to know why he acted this way. "Why did you tell her that I was your friend?" you asked Yeosang. "Y/N, it's not the moment." "I don't care if it's not the moment!" you replied back. "I'm your girlfriend. If you are ashamed of me then whatever I did, I'm sorry!" "Your girlfriend? I thought you were single Yeo." Added Kira. Your heart clenched, he literally told that he was single. "You told her that you were single?" Your voice cracked. "You are the worst person I know." "I wanted to tell you I swear. I would never do something like this." "Please give me a favor and erase me from your life. Because I'll do it." You said harshly before leaving, bumping into Kira which caused the packs of chicken to fall. You were sorry for not being polite enough, but the heartache you got right now was completely insane.

SAN

Your relationship with San was completely disastrous these days. He was barely talking to you and was completely out of mind. When you asked him what was going on, he was denying everything. Just saying that he was tired or even exhausted. You even asked his closest friend Wooyoung, but he couldn't help you. After a few days, you just gave up. You tried to cheer him as many times as you could, but it went worse day by day. When he was talking to you, he always had this sad smile on his face. You couldn't see this warm and kind presence in him anymore.

Tonight, you stayed at the dorm for the night. You had a movie night with the boys, and everything seemed pretty fine. San was laughing and talking like usual. He was just still a little bit distant with you, but it wasn't a matter anymore. At the end of the movie, everyone went to sleep. Only you and San were remaining in the living-room. "Should we go to sleep?" you yawned. "You can go if you want. I'll stay here for a bit." "You are not tired?" "Not really." "Then I will stay awake a bit too," you smiled at him. Touched by your actions, he smiled back at you. But you notice this sad look on his eyes again. "San," you called him quietly, "come and sit here." You patted the seat next to you. He nodded and executed. You didn't try to touch him in any kind of way, he seemed really tense. "What about you tell me what is going on babe?" You nicely asked. "What do you mean? Everything is fine." "I know you well, so I can spot when you're lying or not." You declared to dissuade him. Your boyfriend didn't reply. He simply stared at his feet. "Tell me." You insisted softly. "I won't judge you." "I think you will," he added. "I won't. Come on... I don't like seeing you like this." He hesitated again. But, seeing your face so worried about him made his heart clench. "Okay... It took at least a few weeks for me to consider the situation and try to find a solution." He glanced at you, looking if your attention was still on him. "I saw my ex-girlfriend 1 month ago." He gulped. "I know it's not a good thing at all. It was a coincidence. She was behind me at the queue." "And what's the matter?" You asked. San struggled to find his words. He knew that it would be hard no matter what he says. The whole situation was a torture for him. He kept this secret for so long that he was overwhelmed by it. "Babe, why are you crying?" you asked, terribly worried now. You tried to comfort him with a hug, but he moved back. "San, I just wanted to-" "I'm in love with her Y/N." He said, looking right at your eyes. He hated himself for doing this to you. The look on your face made his heart break in a dozen of pieces. "W-What do you mean by you love her?" You stuttered. "I can't stop thinking about her. I want to be with her again. No matter how hard I'm convinced you are my soulmate." He sobbed, wiping his tears. "San..." "I'm really sorry. I want to erase her from my mind, but I can't." He held your hands, keeping them on his cheek. "I don't want to lose you." "I need to go." You claimed, grabbing your shoes as fast as possible to leave the dorm. San tried to hold you back, but a part of him just convinced him to let you go. He wasn't sure about his final feelings for his ex-girlfriend. But he couldn't stay cold and distant with you.

MINGI

Yesterday, you talked about going to the amusement park together and he was so excited about this that you couldn't help but to buy 2 tickets the same night. Lucky for you, he had a whole day off. That's why you were surprised when he declined your offer. You didn't tell him that you bought tickets, it was supposed to be a surprise. And you were sure that today, your boyfriend and you, will have a really good day.

It didn't last long since you got to the dorm. You exited the taxi as fast as possible, your tickets right in your hand. You were holding them like if they would disappear. "Yes sure, I'll be glad to go there with you." You heard your boyfriend's voice in the hallway. You didn't focus too much on what he just said because you were glancing too much at the girl figure in front of him. He was smiling so much that it could hurt his jaw. "Mingi?" You called him with a quiet and shy voice. He stopped looking at this girl and focused on you. The smile on his face faded a little bit. But too much for your liking. "What are you doing here Y/N?" He asked, walking towards you. You shyly showed him the tickets for the amusement park that you were tightly holding since you hopped off the taxi. "You were so happy yesterday when he talked about that so I thought it would be a good idea to go today." You smiled at him. "Let's talk a second, please." He grabbed you by the shoulders to bring you in the staircase. "What's going on? And who's she?" "I can't come with you today. I'm sorry but Hyejin needs me for something." You raised a brow, "Hyejin? Like Hyejin, your ex-girlfriend?" He simply nodded, not daring to say 'yes' out loud. "You are seeing each other again? I mean it looks like you planned your day." "We saw each other last week and it was already planned." He said, biting his lip because he knows you will be upset. "Ah. So, you see each other a lot?" you asked. "These times yes, but strictly as a friend." "As a friend? Are you sure?" He was avoiding your stare. Since their first meeting after their break-up, he couldn't stop thinking about her. "Should I take this long silence for a no?" "I'm not sure." He finally replied. "Not sure?" you looked right at his eyes. "How is it possible to not be sure?" "I love you. But I love her too." His words felt like a ton of hammers hitting you right in your chest. Never you thought that these little words would be so painful. "How do you know you love her?" "I-I don't know, I just want to see-" "No wait. How do you know you loved me?" "Y/N, I love you. You should know that of course." "Then you should have been loving me and only me." You claimed, your mouth shaking a bit. "It's complicated..." he sighed. "It's not Mingi! You broke up with her because she cheated on you. Do you hear me? She cheated on you!" You talked enough louder for her to hear you. "I know that." "Are you really considering going back with someone who broke your heart?" You asked, completely disgusted. "She changed, she told-" "I can't." You cut him straight, bumping into him so you could exit this creepy staircase and stop seeing his face. Just before opening the entrance door, you saw her. With this arrogant smile on her face. You wanted to insult her, to punch her on this cold floor and yell that Mingi didn't deserve someone like her. But you just walked out and jumped in the first taxi. You were so disoriented that you couldn't even breathe anymore. The taxi driver didn’t have enough time to ask you where you were going, that you busted in tears on the back seat.

WOOYOUNG

“Hi guys”, you greeted the boys. “Hello Y/N,” said San, waving at you. “If you are looking for your boy, he’s choking at the cafeteria.” “What is he doing here? I thought he wanted to keep his diet.” “We don’t know but he seems pretty confused these days.” Added Yunho. “Alright... I go check on him.” You said, leaving the backstage room. As fast as you could remember, you went straight to the cafeteria. Exactly as the guys said, Wooyoung was there. He was bent over the balcony, his gaze lost on the city under him. His back was facing you, but you could feel a strange aura coming out from him. You opened the door slowly and joined him. “I think you are going to hurt yourself if you jump this high.” Wooyoung giggled lightly. “Even if my body is going to crush away, that wouldn’t be the painful thing right now.” “That’s not ready a mindset you should have before going up on stage.” You stated. “What’s going on?” Your boyfriend sighed once again. He was still looking right at the crown under the balcony. “Do you think you are going to forgive me?” “For what?” “For falling in love with someone else.” You looked straight at him. You could easily say when your boyfriend is joking but now, you saw that it wasn’t the case at all. “Are you...?” “Serious? Yeah. Sadly I am.” He ran his hands through his black hair. “I’ve met Soojin backstage and my dumb heart fell for her again.” Even if you were disappointed and sad about this unexpected confession, you couldn’t be mad at him. “It’s okay. We can’t control our feelings.” You tried to comfort him. “You are not mad at me?” You shook your head, “it’s better that you told me before doing stupid or regret it for the rest of your life. Right?” “You are so... perfect! Why I am so stupid!” He punched his forehead. You held his hand before he could hurt himself. “Don’t. Feel. Mad.” “If only I could turn off a button to erase these feelings about her!” “Maybe it’s just because you saw her...” Before Wooyoung could explain, Seonghwa interrupted both of you. “Lovebirds stop flirting! Wooyoung we need to go.” You were not lovebirds anymore. “I’m coming!” He yelled back. “Let’s go.” “I think it’s better if I don’t come with you.” “Y/N...” “Don’t worry about me! I’m a strong and grown girl!” You flexed your arm. “I really need to go but I don’t think I’m done with you.” He patted your back. You nodded enthusiastically just to make him leave. No way, he could be here to see the “strong and grown girl” busting in tears.

JONGHO

You had a day off today and decided to spend it by your own since Jongho was too busy to hang out with you. Despite the disappointment, you didn’t give up and motivated yourself to enjoy a solo shopping day. You bought everything you found cute. Your only thought was to wear it for your boyfriend. All the compliments he told about your look since the first day you met, gave you a big head.

When you claimed that you were done for today (or better to say when you receive a message from your bank account asking you if your credit card was stolen), you went back home. On the way, you heard your boyfriend’s laugh not far away from you. Even if you thought that it was impossible, you followed your instincts and turned around. You were absolutely right; he was there at the terrasse of this cafe. Laughing with this girl who was smiling widely at him. Instinctively, you hid behind the nearest bus stop. A bunch of people were looking at you weirdly, but your attention was right on the scene in front of you. This girl’s face was familiar to you. “Is she a staff member?” You whispered. Instinctively, you took your phone off your bag and texted Jongho. [“Where are you?”] [“Practice room. Busy.”] “Sure...” you grunted. He was lying to you and seemed to be perfectly fine with it. Before sending him another text, you kept listening to their conversation. You didn’t know what to expect from Jongho. He seemed so different. So fake. Exactly how the boys described him when this girl is around. [“Hope you are having fun because Sienna looks like she is.”] Sienna. His ex. You saw an old photo of both of them on Jongho social media before you started to date. When the boy read your message, you saw his facial expression being confused. [“Where are you? I can explain.”] You didn’t want to confront him by message. You got out of your hiding place and walked just in front of the table. “Hello lovebirds.” You greeted them sarcastically. “Y/N...” “Who is she?” “I’m Y/N. His current girlfriend.” You replied before he could. “But I don’t think I will stay it for long because I heard your conversation. Seems like he really wants to go back with you. Congratulations.” You clapped arrogantly. Jongho stood up, gripping your wrist, “Y/N stop. We will talk about that.” “I don’t want to talk about it with you. Wait.” You paused, pointing at him. “I don’t want to talk with you anymore.” “Y/N.” “If I didn’t cross the street randomly, I would never hear you saying that you missed to be with her and that you never stopped to love her.” “I can explain.” He repeated. Angrily, you grabbed the lemonade glass on the table and poured it on Jongho. “Too late for your miserable explanations Choi Jongho.” You throw the glass on the floor right between both of you and left them there. People would probably think that you did it to be dramatic, but no it was only to show Jongho how you felt. Broken inside.

[eurydicesflower]

Moonlight

Summary:  Everyone was already asleep as witching hours befall the Thousand Sunny, except for Law and Robin. 

i've finished writing this one week ago, but i decided to post this on nico robin's bday! anw pls do enjoy!i really kinda like this ost from genshin impact so thats like kinda the bg music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o5nETF-2gM

you can listen to it while reading it, trust me this helped me writing this fic

Everyone was already asleep as witching hours befall the Thousand Sunny, except for Law. Without the feeling of sleepiness in his body, he now stood at the deck looking at the horizon. Standing from the deck, the moon and the stars were the only thing that illuminate the darkness in the ship. It was bizarrely serene as crisp winds started to caress his cheeks. Suddenly, he sensed someone's presence, yet didn't speak when they approached him.

“Can't sleep?” the voice said.

“Nico-ya.” He did not answer her question, as he still remained his focus at the horizon.

Robin hummed, she understood that the surgeon needed silence, yet she didn't leave his side. Somehow, this tranquility is what they needed.

Not sure on how to start their conversation, Law fished something from his pocket. It was a tone snail that lets you record just like a tone dial. But the difference is that it can store different recordings unlike a classic tone dial.

“Have you seen a tone snail, Nico-ya?” he asked his companion.

Robin looked at him, suddenly taken a back that he now wants to talk. “Well, I have only seen a tone dial from the sky island, but a tone snail? I haven't.” She said as she saw Law holding a small tone snail. She can’t quite see his features that night but, guessing from his voice, he is quite nostalgic just by looking at the snail.

“Is that important to you?” she asked him without malice.

“Something like that.” He shrugged. “It's just… my friend- no, one of my love ones gave me this when I was young.” He pressed the button. He can hear a complaining young Baby 5’s voice in the background as Señor Pink shushing her. Then, in the background, someone started to plucking the guitar strings. He smiled when he remembered that it was Cora who was playing the guitar. In a matter of seconds, he forgot that Robin was there. But to his surprise, she started humming.

“You know this tune?” He turned at her, now looking at the archeologist.

“Yes. This was sometimes played by most bards whenever I stopped by at bars years ago… when I was still working with Crocodile,” she winced. “It was really a famous tune, I guess,” she finished as silence was filled after Robin told him a glimpse from her past.

“You wanna dance?” He asked her out of spite, yet there is a hint of hesitance in his voice. “Damn it, Law,” he thought to himself, wanting to jump in the ocean, which is the most idiotic idea he had thought, after what he just told to the archeologist.

Robin just chuckled at what Law said, knowing that she wouldn’t imagine the infamous ‘Surgeon of Death’ offering someone to dance, not to mention to the Devil’s Child, Nico Robin.

“I never pegged you for being a dancer.” She teased him; a playful smile now etched at her face.

“So, do I,” he staggered. “Just forget what I said.” He averted his gaze away from the archeologist, now looking at the tone snail. Serenity was still heard from the tone snail as Law imagined Cora strumming the guitar strings in the recording.

“I didn’t say that I don’t want to dance with you, Traffy.” Robin beamed, looking at the surgeon. Law scoffed at the nickname, yet, offered his hand to Robin. “Nico-ya, will you have this dance?” The ‘Surgeon of Death’ asked Robin. “This side of Law was too rare, she can’t miss this opportunity, I wonder what’s he up to?” she thought to herself.

“As you wish, Law,” she said, grabbing Law’s hand without a doubt.

Law placed his hand on her waist, gently pulling their bodies close together. Robin was taken aback but, she instinctively put her hands on his shoulder. Robin relaxed at his touch, not wanting to let go. It’s been a while since she has done this, even though most of the time her crewmates tend to love affection especially with Luffy, Nami, Usopp and Chopper, but with this? She wanted to enjoy this moment for a while, at least.

Robin wondered where did he learn to dance like this, knowing his grim background with the Donquixote family, she guessed that one of them at least taught him proper etiquette such as dancing.

“What are you thinking about Nico-ya?”

“I wonder where did you learn to dance?”

“Heh.” He scoffed. “To be honest, Senor Pink taught me aside from fighting skills. I didn’t know I could use this at a time like this.” He smirked, making Robin chuckle at what he just said.

“Yet here you are.” She smiled at him, as Law’s face reddened, but thanks to the Kami for the moon, Robin didn’t notice his features.

Two people just slowly waltzing at the calming tune of the guitar, without the sense of danger waiting in front of them. Well, here they are, basked in moonlight. As the music came to an end, no one dared to pull back— Even Law, even Robin. They stayed there for a while, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Happy birthday, Robin.” Law whispered, not letting go of her.

Robin froze but remained at ease, she didn’t remember that it was today, let alone do anything to celebrate. Still, this was a heartwarming gift, at least, coming from a stoic surgeon of death.

“Thank you, Law.” She smiled at him, lifting her gaze at him.

-

Nami yawned as she went outside her room to check the weather. Thousand Sunny just went out of Punk Hazard, she thought they might restock again in another island before heading to their main destination.

As she was checking the log pose on her left hand, she saw two figures together standing on the deck.  She can’t see their faces whether they were an intruder or not, so she squinted. Surprisingly, it was just her friend and… Law?

She was surprised that all of people, Traffy is doing something like that. She smirked as she mentally notes that she can use this to extort Law for belis. But then, knowing that the pair was Robin and Law that time, she thought that since it was Robin’s birthday today, she can let it slide.

[indecisive-v]

NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

[lady-divine-writes]

ACITW AU one-shot “Together Apart” (Rated M)

Summary: With Kurt in New York, performing in New Year's Rockin' Eve, and Sebastian partying with his brother in Westerville like old times, it looks like Kurt and Sebastian will be spending this holiday apart ... and Kurt is not okay with that. (2515 words)

Notes: I always liked this one because it showed that just because Sebastian is rich and could easily take care of Kurt for the rest of his life, Kurt never gave up his dreams. He went to NYADA and is now performing on Broadway. Besides, I'm a sap for stories that manage to pull it all together at the buzzer, so to speak. Fluff and romance with plenty of throwbacks to the original story.

Read on AO3.

“Stupid … frickin’ … useless … WiFi …” Kurt mutters, slapping his phone against the palm of his hand with each word, as if battering the thing will jostle the electronics and force it to work. “Overpriced … piece … of garbage …”

“Still can’t get FaceTime to connect?”

“No,” Kurt growls. “I’ve deleted it and downloaded it about a dozen times and it keeps freezing up on me. Instagram, too. Dammit! Why do we let AT&T soak us for Broadband if it’s not going to work during the important times, like bank holidays and inclement weather?”

“That’s my bad,” Sebastian says. “I forgot to select the Defy Act of God add-on when I renewed our service.”

“Bastard. Always letting me down.” Kurt spins on his his heel and flops down on his back on the bed. “I guess we’re going to have to talk into the phone … like cavemen.”

“Ooo … cavemen,” Sebastian purrs. “We haven’t roleplayed that before. Sounds primal. Now that’s a concept I can get behind.”

“It’d be easier for you to get behind it if you were actually here.”

“I know, babe, I know. But on the bright side, phone sex is a viable option.”

Kurt closes his eyes and sighs, deflating into his pillowcase and his down duvet. The fingers of his free hand find his forehead and massage, attempting to knead away the pounding in his sleep deprived brain. “Are we really going to do this over the phone?”

“Yes. Hence the mention of phone sex.”

“No, I mean celebrate New Year’s. The way things stand, we’re better off calling it a night, wait till you get here tomorrow to celebrate. I really want to take off my clothes, hop in a hot shower, and boil the skin off my bones.”

“Without me?”

“Again, you’re not here …”

“Exactly! We’ve never missed a New Year’s together! Even when we were separated, you were my New Year’s kiss! Now I know you’ve spent yet another taxing evening as a winged marmoset but I’m sorry. You’re going to have to wait one more hour to turn yourself into human stew because I am not spending New Year’s Eve without my kiss!”

Kurt bites his lower lip, holding back a laugh. He doesn’t want to encourage Sebastian. But he ends up snorting which, in terms of laughter, is much worse. Sometimes Kurt thinks Sebastian should have attended NYADA and been the musical theater major since he’s the real drama queen in their relationship. “And how do you intend on getting a kiss from me from over five hundred miles away when we can’t even FaceTime?”

“May I bring your attention back to the topic of phone sex? It’s something I know you’re exceedingly familiar with.”

“Ha … ha …”

From somewhere in the distance, a wave of laughter erupts, as if half the population of Westerville has been listening to Sebastian ply his adolescent wit. Kurt rolls his eyes, grimacing at his phone so hard, his head goes from dull pang to steady throb.

“Why bother?” he sniffs. “From the sounds of it, you’re having the time of your life at your folks’. What? Did Julian and Cooper rope you into one of your famous parties while your parents are away? Trying to recapture the good old days?”

Sebastian makes a non-committal noise. “It’s not a party without you. Besides, I’m not about that life anymore.” He huffs. “Even when I was about that life, I wasn’t about that life.”

“Liar.”

“Fine. Let’s say I wasn’t about that life after I fell head over heels in love with you.”

“And when was that?”

“Earlier than you’re willing to believe.”

“Sure,” Kurt grumbles, proving Sebastian right. It’s not that he doesn’t believe Sebastian. He’s too bitter at the moment to think favorably about anything. He sighs again, debating between climbing underneath the covers fully clothed or trundling off to the kitchen for a bottle of water and a couple aspirin.

Neither wins.

“So what is going on where you are right now?” he asks, his insides roaring with jealousy before he even gets an answer.

“Where I am right now?” Sebastian repeats, singling those words out - the lynchpin to a loophole. Because the party of the century could very well be bumping in the house around him, but if Sebastian has holed himself up in a bathroom, or his old bedroom, then technically he’s not partaking in the festivities. But from the constant static of music and laughter behind him, Kurt doesn’t think that’s the case. “Not much. Hanging with a bunch of drunk randos I don’t know, listening to music that makes me want to puke in my shoes.”

“There’s an image.” Kurt chuckles, not for long but loud enough to regret it. “Can I assume then that you’re a bit sloshed yourself?”

“Not at all. I’ve had the sum total of one Seagram’s.”

Kurt makes a face. If that’s what Julian is supplying their guests, he’s really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Or did they run out of the good stuff early on and have to make a 7-11 run? Or, more to the point, have some poor schlub from DoorDash make a 7-11 run? “Would that be vodka or gin?”

“Uh … no.” Sebastian clears his throat uncomfortably. “More like … uh …”

Amusement and confusion burn a slow smile across Kurt’s tired mouth. What in the world could it be that it’s taking Sebastian this long to answer? “Come on, Smythe! Cough it up! What was this mystery drink?”

“It was … an … ahem … Orange Sassy Swirl.”

The last three words tumble out of Sebastian’s mouth like a skydiver without a parachute.

“Oh, Sebastian. No,” Kurt commiserates earnestly, wondering at what level of desperation Sebastian would actively submit to imbibing anything that goes by the name Orange Sassy Swirl when he had once balked at ordering Kurt a much more respectable apple-tini. “Say it ain’t so.”

“What about you?” Sebastian side-steps swiftly, obviously unwilling to divulge what led him to pick a beverage with such a ludicrous name. “Hit up any noteworthy shindigs?”

“Nope. I took off my makeup after we recorded our part for New Year’s Rockin’ Eve and headed straight back to our place.”

“None of your theater buddies had anything planned? You guys have some heavy hitters in your cast of Wicked. Not a one of them is throwing a party?”

“It’s not that. Idina and Kristin both had prior engagements, of course, but most of the cast had somewhere to go. A few invitations made it my way, I won’t lie. Being a Flying Monkey has its perks after all. But that’s not the point.”

“And what is the point, monkey man?”

“The point is that even though I’m living the dream, I’d much rather be with you, drinking your brother’s wacky alcoholic concoctions in his never ending quest to get me as drunk as possible. We’d stumble upstairs to slow dance in your old bedroom till midnight then, right when the ball drops …”

“Yeah?”

“We’d bone.”

Sebastian barks a laugh the way Kurt had hoped. God, he misses that laugh, the smile that accompanies it, the way both light up Sebastian’s face. With his eyes shut and Sebastian’s voice in his ear, Kurt can see his face so clearly it makes his heart hurt.

“There’s my hopeless romantic,” Sebastian says when he catches his breath.

“And even though New Year’s is a completely made up holiday …”

“Kurt! They’re all made up!”

“I mean the whole concept of a holiday that celebrates the passage of time without the inclusion of some sort of harvest because time itself is a man-made construct …”

“Here we go again …” Sebastian mumbles under his breath. Oddly, he sounds like he’s out of breath and racing through traffic. Most likely multitasking, Kurt thinks. Playing a video game while talking on the phone. Kurt remembers way back when when he, Sebastian, Julian, Finn, and Puck would spend the bulk of Julian and Sebastian’s annual New Year’s Eve blowout kicking each others’ asses at GTA - much to the dismay of their hornier guests, who’d been banking on some kind of show from the Smythes. They eventually did get one since their friendly game turned into strip GTA once Julian, Finn, and Puck got decently buzzed. Any fans of Sebastian’s went away disappointed though since that was around the time he’d squirrel Kurt upstairs so they could ring in the New Year in private.

“There was a time when the calendar didn’t have twelve months. If it wasn’t for the tremendous egos of the Caesar bros …”

“Otherwise known as the salad mavens of ancient Rome …”

“There’d only be ten months!”

“Not to put a wrench in your tirade,” a suddenly winded Sebastian interrupts, “but I don’t think that’s entirely accurate ...”

“I’d be 56 years old!” Kurt rails, uncaring.

“On the up side,” Sebastian says, abandoning his point, “you’d look magnificent for your age. As would I.”

A comfortable but tense silence settles between them, Kurt straining to hear more of what’s going on on Sebastian’s end of the phone while picturing what sort of bedlam Julian has unleashed. But the murmurs of celebration Sebastian is caught up in sound fuzzy and disjointed, shifting and changing as Sebastian (presumably) walks through the house in search of a quiet place to converse.

“Come on, babe,” he says finally. “Tell me what’s on your mind. What’s got you so down on this joyous non-holiday? You usually don’t wax historical unless you can tie it back to the moral of a Sondheim musical.”

“I …” Kurt struggles to come up with a lighthearted, funny response to complement Sebastian’s jab, maybe some mention of his obsession with Indie rock, but he can’t come up with anything. He’s crashing, physically and emotionally, but it’s the emotionally that’s threatening to dismember him on impact. He suddenly can’t help himself his feelings. They’re too overwhelming to control. He knows that the long hours he spent practicing over the past few days set him up for this; the fact that he skipped out on dinner and then completely bypassed the craft services table in his eagerness to get home didn’t help. But it’s the prospect of starting this New Year off alone, for some reason, that’s become too soul shattering to bear. They’re not in high school anymore, where every emotion becomes ratcheted beyond its limits, every moment feels do or die. This shouldn’t be as big a deal as it is. “I miss you. I know we’ve only been apart three days and I know I’m going to see you tomorrow - like, eight short hours from now but … I really miss you. I learned a long time ago that I don’t like being away from you for too long, especially on nights like tonight when pretty much every person in the world is paired up with someone, preparing to share a kiss come midnight, real holiday or no.”

“I feel you …”

Kurt frowns as the sound of a car horn drowns out the end of Sebastian’s sentence. If he’s not actually out in traffic, Kurt has to say the sound effects in GTA 5 are incredible. With that in mind, he wonders if the makers of GTA 5 included a slurring crowd counting down the seconds till midnight as some kind of too-on-the-nose Easter Egg.

“And so it begins.” Sebastian exhales long and deep, and for the first time that night, he doesn’t sound anywhere near festive. He sounds defeated. “How about you count it off for us, babe?”

“Yeah, all right,” Kurt agrees, clearing a sharp-cornered sob from his throat. “10 … 9 … 8 …” He counts by rote, not really listening to himself but to Sebastian’s breathing over the phone, waiting for Kurt to reach one so he can make some ridiculous ‘Mwah!’ noise and go back to his game. Behind closed eyelids, Kurt imagines being at the Smythe house with him, arms wrapped around his waist, lips ghosting his neck as he tries his best to distract him.

He’d succeed, but Sebastian would still win his game. He’s that good.

“... 5 …” Kurt’s voice wavers, his eyes beginning to burn “… 4 … 3 … 2 …”

“... 1 …”

A familiar voice and the press of warm lips against Kurt’s mouth make his eyelids spring open. Moss-green eyes peer into his, steeped in the same level of exhaustion, but even more so, the same level of longing. With his eyes shut, Kurt didn’t see Sebastian come in; didn’t hear him unlock the front door or open the bedroom door over the revelry going on outside, echoing from the TV that he’d put on for white noise and forgotten all about. Besides, Sebastian could walk as quietly as the dead when he wanted to - a talent garnered from years of sneaking out of his house, climbing down trellises and jumping off rooftops in the middle of the night with his parents none the wiser.

“You’re here,” Kurt whispers in a hoarse, relieved voice.

“I am,” Sebastian replies with the addition of another kiss … then another as he climbs onto the bed and straddles his boyfriend.

“You … you didn’t tell me you were coming. You didn’t even hint that you were in the city.”

“I didn’t know if I would make it in time. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“How did you get here?”

“Train. Then an Uber. Until the roads became blocked by pedestrians and I had to get out and hoof it.”

Kurt nods slowly. That explains the incongruous sounds of people interspersed with cars and traffic on his end of the phone. “You’re an asshole.”

“True. But I’m your ...” Sebastian’s face pinches, stuck somewhere between a laugh and scowl when he thinks about the way his comment is about to come across out loud. “You know what? Let’s just say jerk.”

“It would have been nice to have something to look forward to,” Kurt says, shaky arms creeping up around Sebastian’s neck.

“I know.” Sebastian runs the tip of his nose lightly against Kurt’s. “But on the off chance things didn’t work out, I didn’t want to let you down.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Kurt says with the slightest of shrugs.

“Are you happy I’m here?”

“I’ll be happier in five minutes.”

Puzzled, Sebastian’s brows pull together while he fights not to yawn. But he’s so comfortable here in his own bed, with Kurt’s body underneath him, miles away from the mounds of people vying for his attention back in Ohio. “Why? What’s happening in five minutes?”

Kurt’s sad, tired expression grows into a smile that’s positively devious. “You’ll be ready for round two.”

Sebastian grins, reaching over Kurt for the remote to turn off the lights, willing to admit that he walked straight into that burn with his eyes wide open. But an entire morning spent entwined in the arms of the man he loves? That’s worth a little sizzle. “Ouch.”

[rkxluda]

HEARTZ LUDA DEBUT LIVE STREAM! .・。✭

Monday, 2020.07.06

It was more than just a little surprising that sphere actually gave her access to the group’s vlive channel right after debuting. Hopefully she wouldn’t say anything wrong, but she did take notes on things that she wasn’t allowed to talk about. Very general ones, so in case the notes reflected on something, no one would be able to make any sense of them. Probably unnecessary, but she’d always been a careful person.

As Luda set up the stream and waited for everything to load, it suddenly felt like there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room. Her hands were shaking a little, as she pulled a strand of hair back, out of her face and she took a deep breath. She’d never done this before, so she had no idea how it would turn out. Of course she’d tried to prepare herself as best as possible, watching other idol’s streams and such, but the practical experience was still missing. Maybe she should’ve asked Minhee to do this together.

She took deep breaths until it seemed to have loaded, her face immediately lit up, the corners of her mouth pulling into a big grin and her eyes scanning the screen to see if everything was as it should be or whether there was any kind of notification that the sound or any such thing wasn’t working properly. Luda bowed and waved at the viewers that already joined the stream, but those that watched from the very beginning would have caught her confused expression before she’d realised that the stream had already started.

She’d posted the link to her social media on the previous day, but had still worried if anyone would show up at all. Her smile only widened as the viewer’s numbers went up and her eyes went big once the counter hit 2.000. Maybe not a big number overall, but definitely to her.

“Hello! I’m Heartz’ girl of the month of July, Lee Luda!” she introduced herself, bowing politely again. “Should I introduce myself a little bit more, first?” she asked a little awkwardly once she was sitting up straight again and put attention to her posture being properly straight. “I’m currently 23 years old and grew up in Seoul as an only child, but my mum makes the best cakes in the world!” she chuckled, “Ah! And if you have any questions, please ask! I will do my best to answer as much as possible~” she was still smiling at the camera and looked at the comments section, until her eyes briefly switched to the camera again, “Of course I can’t answer anything about future debuts or plans, though!” she noted, her face looking more serious just for a moment.

Not sure if she should say anything more as she looked at the comments section, she started to hum “I’ll Be There”, so there wouldn’t be complete silence as she was reading.

“Oh,‘white, milk, or dark chocolate?’ someone wants to know, hmm,” she pondered, her index finger covered her lips and her eyes looked up to the side, in thought. Probably, she was taking this more serious than she needed to, but better this, than the opposite. She didn’t want anyone to think that she wasn’t taking them serious enough. “This is a really tough question, I love chocolate, but I think white has to be my favourite! Now, I know that white chocolate isn’t technically chocolate, but it’s delicious, especially with whole hazelnuts in it!” Luda chuckled. “I love other chocolate as well though, and- Ah! Do you guys know Tiramisu? My mum sometimes made it when I was a child, so she changed some ingredients up. She uses chocolate and cocoa powder! If you haven’t yet tried it, you definitely should! It’s also really easy to make!” she mentioned briefly about the coffee and alcohol free version she grew up with.

“Hmm~“ she hummed scrolling further and stopped at a random one, closing her eyes until she stopped at a random comment and read it aloud, “ Sangkeumyuzu says ‘Eonni, I love you~’ “ she chuckled, holding one hand in front of her face, a little embarrassed, “Aaah, thank you! Eonni loves you too~“ she said, blushing, her thin layer of makeup unable to hide it. Not sure how to properly react, she shyly went on to the next comment.

“What else do we have~~ Ah, KingKiwi97 asked: “Who are your role-models? Please sing us a song from your favourite artist!’ that’s easy!” she was grinning again, happy to have gotten a question that asked her to sing. There were two artists she had in mind and the first artist’s song she’d heard and sung so often, it came quite naturally to her. She took a sip of water, turned to the side of the frame, before she started.

Sky that pours light (I) stand under it Fly as if I’m dreaming My life is a beauty

She sang a few lines, with her eyes closed, before she stopped and looked into the camera again. She wasn’t sure how much she should sing, not wanting to bore anyone, but wanting to follow through with the request as well. “Chi Chi’s Nara has such a beautiful voice, right? I’ve been a fan of hers for a really long time. And as for my favourite group…”

I shouldn’t have let you go like that What was so great about my pride that I couldn’t hold onto you? I can’t believe that I won’t ever see you again When you were all I knew

This night is still following you No matter how hard I try, I miss you so much This night is passing I hate myself for not being able to sleep without you No matter how much I wait, you’re not here And I can’t sleep

When will I get over you and fall asleep comfortably? I just can’t help it, I’m just waiting for morning to come

“Sorry, I know it’s a bit sad,” she smiled after doing her best to sing, again, sounding calm but befittingly sad. They both were songs she’s sung over and over again, so she was pretty confident in having done well. “But Melody Day is one of my favourite groups as well, they all sing sooo well, right? Their osts are always great… but really, there are so many great artists, I could list them all day!” she chuckled. “Let me know if I should sing you something more, okay?”

“Notice me? I’ve officially noticed you!“ she laughed, though she wasn’t sure if that was really such a great thing. “Oh, but Sangkeumyuzu aren’t you the same person as earlier? Then I’ve already noticed you!“ she said.

“My favourite sport?” she hummed, thinking for a moment as she tilted her head to the side, her index finger toughing the bottom of her chin. “I’m not sure if this counts, but I like doing Yoga, it’s relaxing, but it can also be quite difficult! I like jogging too and if I can manage to go, I love swimming! I heard it’s very healthy to swim, yet not as exhausting on the body, for example on the ankles and joints in general!” she started losing her trail of thoughts a little and just went rambling on for a moment, until she caught herself soon after. “Is there any type of sport you can recommend to me?” she added.

The next question made Luda chuckle, it just sounded too adorable. “Hm… mini_bunny asked '5 minhees or a 5 year old minhee?’ That’s a tough question… Minhee-unnie is a great person you know? If you haven’t yet you should watch her music videos!! It’s a very fun song and video, and she did just perfectly! And she always works so hard!” she wasn’t only smiling brightly as before, but the admiration for her friend was quite evident in her expression and choice of words. However, that didn’t make the question any easier. “Minhee is great, but 5 Minhees would be 5 times as great right? Then again, there can only be one real Minhee…” she said with furrowed brows, taking the question much more serious than it was probably intended to be. “But Minhee as a five year old must be sooo adorable, I’d like to see that! She always takes great care of me, of anyone around her honestly, so I’d like to be the older one for once and give back all the kindness!” Luda nodded to affirm her statement.

“Let’s see what the next one says... Oh?” she said, grinning widely, recognising the handle. “It’s from user Sangkeumyuzu again! Thank you for dedication!” she said, bowing politely, not really having expected anyone to keep commenting like this. And she wasn’t going to lie, it made her happy, which her smile showed quite obviously. “ ‘I’m your biggest faaaaan’ “ Again, she wasn’t sure how to react and again, she hid behind her hands, chuckling and blushing. “Thank you very much, this makes me very happy to hear!” She finally said, sincerely looking at the camera as she did so.

There were many more comments than she’d expected. Surely not as many as someone popular would have, but that was fine, she was just happy that some people cared at all. It was crazy to think about how she was actually officially debuted now, but she couldn’t concentrate on that, shouldn’t let herself be distracted so easily.

“Hmm, there’s a few of you asking what my favourite animal is, but can you guess?” she returned the question and chuckled reading the comments section. “Dogs, cats… and sheep? That’s an interesting answer, I do like sheep, they’re so fluffy, round and soft! But they’re not quite my favourites… Bumblebees? They’re also cute and so round! I never would have guessed you’d answer so creatively, I fear my answer will be really boring compared to that~” Luda paused for a moment, for some added 'suspense’ if one could call it that. “Those saying cats were right! Though dogs are a close second. I love how determined cats are! They know what they want and they work hard to get there! For example with those toys that hide treats inside of them. And when a cat shows affection once in a blue moon… that feels super special, right?”

Scanning the messages again, her lips were quickly pulled into a cute pout, “Ah, I told you my answer wouldn’t be as interesting, don’t be too disappointed, okay~~?” she asked of the viewers that indeed seemed to have expected a more interesting answer. “But I was very lucky, because I got to film with cats! There were so so many cats in the music video! Have you seen it yet? I hope that if you haven’t, you will~~ The staff and I put a lot of effort in, to make it the best it can be! But I promise to learn more and do better in the future as well!” her eyes were clear as she looked at the camera. She was still nervous, but not shaking anymore and Luda was almost surprised at how much fun she had while streaming. It was a great feeling, really.

“What’s your favourite item?” again, she didn’t need to think for very long. Her instinct was to jump up and get the little device, but instead she decided to stay and search the item on the internet. “This little thing right here, does anyone know what it is?” Luda asked, holding her phone in front of the camera, not considering that she could’ve gotten a message from someone, saying something that wasn’t meant for the public eye. Luckily nothing happened. Her eyes widened a little, her mouth forming the appropriate “o” to go with it and she chuckled, glad that the little mini-heart attack she just got was easy to distract herself from. “Of course you guys are smart! You’re right, it’s a galaxy projector! A dear friend gave it to me as a birthday gift! It’s very nice to just turn the lights off and look at the projected galaxy on the ceiling! Very calming and a little… mysterious? I like it very much.”

The stream had been going on for a while and she started to suppress the yawns that crawled up on her. “It’s getting late, so I’ll choose one last question!” she announced, smiling softly. Her eyes moved over the words written by complete strangers, something she’d never thought she’d get to do. Especially not this soon.

“Can you sing me a lullaby?” she repeated aloud. “That sounds like a good way to end the stream, right? Hm… Ah!” she looked directly at the camera again, after looking to the side to think, her index finger pointing up as her mind spontaneously formed a plan. “I’ll sing you two lullabies, okay? The first one is a little bit more upbeat and called 'Night Moon’ by SBGB the second one is a little more sad but also calmer, making it easier to fall asleep to, it’s called 'How are you, my dear’ by Saevom~”

She played both song’s instrumentals over her phone, one after the other, and sang softly. Sometimes she looked off to the bottom/side, but more often than that Luda looked at the camera, a soft smile on her lips here and there, but she was concentrating on singing well first and foremost. Her voice was clear and she realised what a perfect fit “Around You” really was for her… maybe she should’ve sung that instead? But she didn’t want to look like she was shamelessly promoting her own song either.

The second song ended and she quietly looked at the camera for a moment, still smiling softly. “What do you think?” She asked, whispering, “Next time I will sing 'Around You’ for you, so be sure to watch again, okay?” she decided on the spot, wanting to point out that she hadn’t forgotten her own song at all. “Good night, everyone, and I hope you can sleep a little easier tonight. Don’t go to sleep too late, alright?” she continued whispering, having heard about asmr recently. After waving at the camera and making finger hearts with both hands, accompanied by a cute face, she ended the stream. Luda was weirdly happy but also felt somehow empty. It was hard to grasp and describe.

But after this she decided she wanted to be to fans what lullabies were to her. A comfort, giving the feeling of calmness and making it easier for people to sleep, so they could get a good night’s rest to start afresh on a new morning. She wanted to be the voice people heard before they sunk into a deep, comfortable sleep, dreaming about whatever it was they most wanted to dream about.

[shesasurvivor]

Everlark Self-Interview

First, let me just say that I think this is a brilliant idea, and I love it a lot. I’m just hopping on after a long day at work, but from what I’ve read so far, reading everyone’s interviews has been insightful and fascinating.

I first started writing The Hunger Games/Everlark fanfiction in June 2012, two months after I finished reading the books for the first time. I adored them so much, they left me wanting more, particularly with Katniss and Peeta. After induldging in others’ fics for two months, I decided I wanted to try writing out my own ideas for stories. My first ever fic was ‘All That Love’s About,’ a post-Mockingjay oneshot where they talk things through after seeing Gale on TV. The title came from the title of a track off the Wall-E OST, which in turn came from a line from Hello Dolly. Everlark and THG both reminded me a lot of Wall-E (a favorite of mine), so I thought the nod felt appropriate.

The Writing Process

Do you use an outline?

I tend to create a loose outline that helps me structure the story. I’ll usually decide on how many chapters I want the story to have first. Sometimes these will have some sort of special significance, but usually I just go with my gut. From there, I’ll work out the main beats, and write a generalized summary of what I want to happen in each chapter. After that, I like to say that I basically just vomit words on a screen.  I’m a big fan of improv, and once I have the general idea of what I want to happen, I’m basically improvising the rest. 

Do you use a beta?

I have used the help of several wonderful people over the years, but my one consistent person who helps me with everything is @triplebigday​. Not only does she beta, but she helps me work out a lot of the story when I do get stuck, and we bounce ideas off each other. This isn’t just true of Everlark, either: we have a whole, massive Star Wars AU we’ve cooked up together. I like to say she’s the Taika Waiti to my Jemaine Clement. Anyways, she’s the best, she gets me and what I’m doing like no other, and cooking up stories together is one of my aboslute favorite things in life. 

Where do you write?

On my couch using my Chromebook. LOL. 

Do you listen to music or make a playlist?

I will definitely make playlists that feel appropriate for my stories, but I don’t listen to anything when I write. Usually I’ll do it in complete silence, because it’s easier for me to focus. Sometimes I’ll use the Coffitivity app, though. But with music, I find myself wanting to actively listen to it, and it prevents me from getting any actual writing done. 

Do you start posting right away, or wait until you’re done?

At first, I would post my chapters as soon as they were done. Lately, however, I’ve been leaning towards trying to finish things first. I don’t know, it really depends on the story, I guess. 

The Story

I’m going to focus primarily on my Blue on Grey/A House United universe, and The Tigers Come at Night.

Where did the story come from?

For A House United, the story came from a prompt on a round of Prompts in Panem. The idea is actually influenced by Gone with the Wind, because I remember thinking Katniss and Scarlett were both similar and very different ways, and I wanted to play with that idea. But also, I’m not going to lie: I also just found the idea of smut between them kind of hot.

As for The Tigers Come at Night, the idea was always meant to be a ‘Katniss-actually-pregnant-in-the-Quell’ fic. That was one of my favorite tropes to read, and one day I started thinking about what I would write if I were going to do a take on it. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like it would probably have to take something like forced prostitution for Katniss to actually be pregnant in the Quell, and that was a darker, more dystopian story that I had been wanting to try. 

How long did the story take to write? How did your life change?

A House United took me a year and a half to write. In that time, I dealt with PTSD, a nervous breakdown, and relocated to a new state to put myself back together. 

I’ve been very, v e r y slowly chipping away at The Tigers Come at Night since November 2013, so needless to say, things have changed a LOT for me since then. I started the story shortly after the aforementioned nervous breakdown; I’ve recovered tenfold since that time, to the point where I don’t even feel like the same person anymore. It’s insane looking back on where I was when I started this story, and it’s even more insane that it’s been so long and this story is still not complete! I think I need to set a deadline for myself, and just knock it out already.

What was the hardest part of the story to write?

For A House United, it was dealing with the fact that it was set in Reconstruction-era South. There’s the historical accuracy you have to look for, and then there’s the obvious issue with racism in the era. I actually had a whole plotline worked out where it turned out Katniss was herself a WOC, and not the white southern belle she’d initially been painted as, but I ended up scrapping it because I needed to end the story for mental health reasons. 

I think it’s probably obvious that The Tigers Come at Night is an inherently hard fic to write due to the subject matter, and probably one of the main reasons I’m so slow in finishing it. Making things feel true from a psychological perspective is very, very important to me, so I don’t want to make light of the subject matter at all. But because of this, and my own struggle with my mental health, there have been times when I simply couldn’t deal with it at all.

What was the easiest part to write?

Haha, any time Katniss and Peeta get a good shippy scene together is always my favorite! I also adore writing Peeta’s wit, and any banter between the two, because I’m honestly just the kind of person who is going around saying that crap anyways. It’s a ton of fun. 

Any parts you want to rewrite?

I periodically visit the idea of rewriting Blue on Grey/A House United, because every so often I come up with a new way I would make the story go this time around. The idea that comes immediately to mind now, though, is one that’s more of a retelling, where Katniss and Peeta get stuck together for a period of time, and because of the time period, are forced to marry to avoid scandal. Peeta spends the time thinking Katniss wants nothing to do with him and wants to marry Gale instead, while Katniss, who was reluctant/resentful at first, is slowly falling in love with Peeta. Maybe I’ll write that, but honestly, don’t hold your breath.

As for Tigers, I just want to finish writing it the first time!

The Characters

Easiest to write?

Without a doubt, Katniss. Our inner thoughts are very, very similar. But Peeta’s sense of humor is also super easy for me to write.

Hardest to write?

Plutarch springs immediately to mind. He’s like the polar opposite of who I am, so it’s difficult getting into his head sometimes. Even Snow is easier for me to write. 

OC’s

None, unless you count developing characters we didn’t see much in the books, like Peeta’s brothers or the toast babies. Now Star Wars, that’s where my OCs get out of hand. LOL.

Who do you relate to the most?

LOL J/K, we all know who I relate to most. 

Any characters you don’t like writing?

Like honestly, I get annoyed having to write Katniss and/or Peeta interact with anyone who isn’t each other. I just want to write Everlark, and the rest is filler. LOL!

[zenithlux]

Cadence Update - CH 14

I’m too excited to post these chapters. I should probably slow down a bit. But with everything going on in life nowadays, the Cadence train is keeping me sane. So please, Enjoy this update :)

Catch up on the story here!

In which Vergil gets used to his new home and makes another deal with Roxy.

----------------

A heartbeat without harmony Is moonlight without dark The heart seeketh equilibrium With balance will your worry part.

“Equilibrium” - Final Fantasy 14 OST

----------------

When Vergil woke up alone for the first time three days later, it took him far too long to get used to the silence. Nero and Nico had stayed until the night before, split between Vergil and Roxy’s apartments until the boat to Fortuna returned. Vergil had offered to open a portal for them and hadn’t realized until after Nero nearly punched him that it had sounded more like he was trying to get rid of them. Thankfully, Dante had understood (“cool it, kiddo. He’s just trying to help”), and Nero had apologized. Except both were left perplexed when they both apologized at the exact same time, something that had taken Vergil an embarrassing amount of courage to do. 

But Vergil hadn’t missed the hint of approval in his son’s eyes, and the last two days were the best they’d been since Vergil had come back. They still didn’t talk all that much (unsurprising), but they also didn’t fight. Dante got called away after the electricity went out (odd considering Vergil had paid the bill himself two weeks ago). Nico stayed with Roxy to give Vergil time to adjust to this new life of his, and Nero hovered close to him as if not quite sure what he was trying to do. 

And just before the two hunters left, Nero had looked relieved, more so than Vergil had seen in a long time. “You’re doing better than I thought,” Nero said as he brushed his fingers through his hair (most certainly a nervous tick, Vergil decided) “just don’t forget to visit once and awhile.”

And that had meant more to Vergil than anything else Nero had said that weekend. 

Now, Vergil was alone (not counting the woman who he was certain was already awake down the hallway), and he didn’t know what to think of it. Had he truly gotten so used to Dante’s incessant presence that he felt strange without it? Vergil assumed he would get used to it over time, but he hadn’t expected it. 

The apartment was more than adequate, so moving in had been simple. The layout was the same as Roxy’s, only flipped as it was on the opposite side of the building. She had taken great care on the decorations, having chosen a mixture of blues and golds for the furniture including the intricately woven rug filled with whimsical, golden stars. The paint on the walls was the same, but the artwork was different; less fantasy creatures and more landscapes. He had two couches instead of one, with a coffee table between them. There was also no television, something he’d been surprised by, as he’d only mentioned his annoyance with them in passing. Instead, the far wall was covered with two, dark, mahogany bookcases with a generous amount of books. And while those were impressive enough, Vergil had quickly found the gift card with a note- “$500, get whatever you need =)” - and hadn’t bothered trying to give it back. Roxy never accepted returned gifts, but Vergil had yet to find out how or why she was so frivolous with her money.

But there would be plenty of time for that. 

For the moment, Vergil stared at a water-colored, sunset landscape that was suspiciously similar to the bookmark she’d given Vergil eons ago. His bedroom was more empty than hers, but he didn’t mind it. The bed was far bigger than the one in Devil May Cry, and he had yet to figure out how she found a queen-sized bed long enough that he didn’t have to curl up into an awkward ball to lie down like a normal person. 

Not that he did that often. Of course. What a waste of time that would be. 

His mind did drift, however, to the single room she’d left empty; the studio. Apparently Roxy’s apartment had not been the only one to receive such an upgrade, though he had a feeling the ones on the other floors probably weren’t so lucky. She’d left a note on that door too; “Let me know what you want”. But Vergil hadn’t known what he wanted to do with it. The space was almost menacing in a way. He didn’t want to waste it frivolously, but he also didn’t know what he would use such a thing for. For now, he’d bought a single desk, a chair tall enough for him, and a decently priced laptop that spent more time in Roxy’s apartment than his own. It would do for now, until Vergil figured out what exactly he wanted out of it. 

The only downside to the entire set up was Aki, as the little owl-griffon seemed oddly fascinated with Vergil’s presence. He’d caught the demon prowling around his living space no less than four times. Now, Vergil smelled the creature everywhere, even though the scent was nothing compared to Kuro’s down the hall. Roxy had apologized profusely twice now, chastising the demon, but Vergil knew from experience that cats rarely cared what their owners had to say. And, knowing Aki was far too intrigued to listen to her, Vergil let it go, and the familiar slipped between the walls as he pleased.  Vergil couldn’t help but imagine Shadow doing the exact same thing. She would be stalking his new partner, waiting to decide if Roxy was trustworthy or not. 

Besides, since the familiar had started visiting, Vergil’s sleep had been oddly better. He couldn’t imagine why, as neither Aki’s nor Kuro’s presence felt particularly soothing. Roxy herself had left him alone since the move, letting him seek her out instead. But, so far at least, Vergil had actually been able to rest for the first time in what felt like decades. 

For all he knew, it had been.

It was 7 am when the music started; a quiet, harmonious chorus of female voices with a subtle beat of drums and an accompanying violin. Vergil had heard it a few times now, as Roxy listened to music before going to sleep, but he hadn’t focused on it for longer than a few seconds. And now that he was, he was intrigued enough to skip breakfast (a formality, really), grab his coat, and wander over to her apartment. 

He found Roxy in her studio with Kuro sleeping on a cleaned off part of the desk. Aki was on the floor, chirping a string of excited noises. Roxy responded in a few short “yes” and “no’s”, but clearly wasn’t paying much attention. Instead, she stared at the blank canvas before her, occasionally glancing down at the unopened bottles of paint on a table beside her, courtesy of Vergil’s little errand a month prior. He almost knocked on the door but thought better of it. He was certain Aki had seen him, and startling Roxy now would likely cause an expensive catastrophe. 

As the song shifted to the first verse, Roxy began to sway. It was subtle, and Vergil was fairly certain she had no idea she was doing it. The voice that followed was that of another woman, her pitch a few octaves higher than normal. 

The sigh of a shifting sea The kiss of a salt sweet breeze, The white of a silken dress Stained in red.

Vergil’s head tilted as he tried to discern the song’s meaning. Another pastime of his, though Dante’s taste in music was pretty bland. Roxy’s, however, was much more pleasing, and dwelling on the lyrics was actually thought-provoking. 

A memory fading fast Her mother sits, eyes downcast A torn uniform in hand Farewells unsaid.

“The song is actually quite sad when you think about it,” Roxy said without looking at him. “Her mother, consumed by grief at the loss of her husband, abuses her daughter who prays to the goddess Sophia for help.”

“And?”

“The goddess demands equilibrium,” Roxy said as the lyrics continued. 

So still this broken melody And therewith shoulder thee One last step only leaving An empty hearth down by the sea

“The daughter kills her mother,” Vergil said. 

“And then herself,” Roxy said, her voice quiet. “And thus, equilibrium is maintained.” Aki gave a quiet chirp, and Roxy nodded. “A client sent this song along with a bunch of reference material. Apparently this goddess comes from a video game of some sort. He called it a ‘primal’.”

“Primal?”

She nodded. “Apparently, these creatures can be summoned with energy and fervent prayers. Collect enough power in one place and boom,” She waved one hand in the air in a dramatic arc. “You’ve got yourself a primal.” She sighed as she crossed her arms again. “So he wants a painting of this one for his girlfriend.”

“Sounds simple enough,” Vergil said.

“In theory,” Roxy agreed. “But he’s giving me free rein. The only thing he asked is that I don’t just draw her and call it a day.”

“Do you have a plan?”

Roxy sighed. “Not yet. I was hoping listening to the song in here would inspire something but…” She frowned as she looked back at the canvas. “I said I’d send him some sketches tomorrow before I committed to the canvas.”

“He doesn’t want a digital copy?”

“Local client,” She said. “They usually ask for canvas work. The sketches will be on my tablet though.” She shifted to the desk and gently eased a black screen out from under Kuro’s belly. The dragon huffed but otherwise didn’t stir. “If you want,” Roxy said with an excited grin. “I can show you my process and whatnot if that’s something that interests you.”

Vergil nodded. “Only if you’re feeling well.”

She chuckled nervously. “I may need a few demons.”

“A few?”

“I haven’t absorbed anything in a few days,” She said defensively. “ I didn’t exactly have the time to slip away.”

“You should have said something.”

She snorted. “I don’t think I could have,” She said as she shook her head. “Your family is… something else.”

“Indeed.”

“I don’t know how you handle them on a daily basis.”

A pause. “I don’t.”

Her laughter was more pleasing than the song that had all but faded to the background. “I guess I’m not surprised,” She said as Aki hopped onto her shoulder. “If I’m honest, you do seem to be very different from them.” She paused, then quickly said. “Not in a bad way! They’re just…”

“Loud?” Vergil said. “Controlling?”

She snorted again. “I’d imagine you’d be quite good at controlling people.”

Vergil didn’t know why he smirked at that. “How so?”

He wasn’t surprised when her face flushed a far deeper shade of crimson than usual. “I just get… that feeling… I suppose…” She mumbled as she quickly averted her gaze. “You know?”

“Afraid I don’t.”

“Oh hush.” She waved him off as her smile returned. “Aki found some demons nearby if you want to join me. Or you can make coffee or breakfast or go read or…”

“Isn’t the point of this arrangement that I go with you?”

Roxy’s eyelids fluttered. Her heart skipped a beat. Alarm swept through Vergil when her pupils shifted to Kuro’s ice-blue hue. He was by her side in an instant, hand hovering inches from her arm. Part of him wanted to reach out and catch her preemptively. The other half of him pulled away, the sheer thought of touching her…

Except… he wanted to.

Why?

His fingers brushed her back when she stumbled. Her hand shot out, reaching for something. Vergil took it without thinking and forced himself to keep hold. Her skin was so… warm. So different from the frozen Roxy he’d seen forever ago. And her hands were so soft and supple… so much different than his own 

“Whoa,” She said. “That was… weird.”

Her hand slipped from his grasp, and he ignored the empty feeling in his chest. “What happened?” Vergil said as he took a small step back. 

She blinked slowly before she looked at him. “I… don’t know. I just… blanked.” She shook her head. “Kuro…”

“I saw,” The dragon said “But I cannot explain it any better than you.” 

“Maybe I’m just tired,” 

“You need to hunt,” Vergil said. 

“Probably that too.” She agreed. “Are you okay?”

“What do you mean?”

She hesitated, and took a deep breath before speaking again. “I know its… hard to touch me.”

With the way she said it, Vergil wasn’t certain if she was talking about his aversion to touch, or her own. He tried to split his answer somewhere down the middle: as diplomatic and truthful as he could manage. “I believe it is something we’ll both have to get used to.”

Slowly, she nodded. “I used to hate it,” She said quietly. “After the accident, at least. Between the doctors and the nurses and my father and my former friends… Everyone insisted on helping me. Very few actually did.” Her eyes drifted closed, but her heartbeat remained the same. “I started to loathe the feeling of… well anyone really.” She chuckled, but it was hollow. “Kind of ironic how much I miss it now.”

Vergil was silent, unable to speak through the war inside his mind. What could he say? How did he respond to such an honest admission? A normal person would respond in kind, but he wasn’t ready to do that. He wasn’t ready to admit that he hadn’t felt another’s touch in years. Decades. Even hugging his brother felt foreign. All he could remember was pain. Suffering. Pure torment. 

But the last thing he wanted was for her to think he wasn’t listening. Or to retreat into the same shell that he often made for himself. So, just as her expression shifted to uncertainty, Vergil said, “I have the opposite problem, it seems.”

“You… don’t miss it?”

He paused, pondering before he spoke again. “I don’t know,” He said finally. “I…”

“It’s okay,” She said. “If you don’t…”

“I spent a very long time alone.”

A moment of silence passed between them, and he swore he saw a hint of understanding in her eyes. “By choice?” She said. 

What kind of question was that? How could she have possibly guessed what was going on in his head? Or maybe she was just shooting in the dark, trying to understand him as much as he seemingly wanted to understand her. And what good would it do to ignore such a question? 

“No,” He said. “But I have made plenty of mistakes.”

“Not enough to deserve something like that.”

You don’t know me was his first thought, but it died before reaching his lips. A part of him felt that she was irrevocably wrong. He did deserve those years of torment. He’d thrown himself into hell with reckless abandon. He’d left behind a son without considering that one might even have existed. Then the Qliphoth… and everything in between. 

But another part of him wanted to believe that she was right. He wanted to hold onto that hope that he was better than the sum of his failures. That he didn’t deserve the pain which so many others thought he did. 

But it was difficult… more so than he thought it should have been.

“Maybe,” Roxy said slowly. “We could help each other.”

“What?”

She flinched before Vergil realized how hostile that sounded. “I’m not suggesting anything crazy,” She said before muttering a “lord knows I’m not ready for that.” But before Vergil could ask what she meant, she held her hand out. “I mean with simple, everyday things. Like handshakes.”

Vergil was seconds from refuting her, until he realized the only hand he’d shaken recently was… no one’s. Not Morrison after Dante had introduced them. Not Kyrie or Nico or anyone else he’d met over the last six months. Not even hers (on purpose, anyway). He’d avoided it without thinking, relying on his brusque personality to keep people away. He never imagined this hesitation was the real reason why. 

“One thing at a time,” She said as her smile finally returned. 

Slowly, he took her hand with a nod. “One thing at a time.” 

Ko-fi – Master List – AO3

[arronjustin]

Lover Album Review 2020

Hello, I hope everyone is doing good! How’s the Rapunzel-ing going on?

I just got an email from work confirming about my termination. Great! Keep the good news coming! It keeps getting worse. I just hope that I’ll get my unemployment insurance and the stimulus check. If not… I don’t know. Have faith!

Anywayyy… Soon you’ll get better! We’ll get better! Soon! Just like what Taylor said. Speaking of Taylor Swift… In times like these, when you’re in a quarantine, bored, or sad, she’ll be there to help you fight it thru her songs. Yes T. Swizzle, our queen, our hero haha! I have a lot of time so I am going to make a review of her 7th album, Lover. This is a review from a lover (no pun intended :))) or a fan so this will be like 100% good vibes. Negativity is not allowed here. No rats allowed here. This is a review from a fan that played the album a hundred times already or should I say a million times hehe. This is a review from a fan, not a musician or an expert from the industry so this is a jargon-free review haha! So here we go! And this is gonna be quite long so patience my friend.

“Welcome to bridge city!”. If your town needs someone to build a bridge, just message Taylor. All the bridge parts in this album are phenomenal.  If Red is a TS autumn album, definitely Lover is for summer. It’s perfect that she released it summer. What confused me is, why it got snubbed at Grammys? Why? How? Or at least give the Grammy to Norman Fucking Rockwell! Ugh. Going back to the topic… Lover is like the summation of all her past albums but mostly from 1989 and Reputation. She also introduced new sounds due to new collaborations in writing and producing. From her past pop albums, mostly it’s just with Jack Antonoff and now she’s with Joel Little also. I was expecting a deluxe/extended version of the album though! 18 songs are not enough haha!

*FYI, Taylor brought back the 80’s music in the industry with her album 1989 (2014). She’s the one who started it. The rest just followed. I’m not starting a fight here haha!

I Forgot That You Existed – This song is really a good opening. A feel-good song. The perfect song when you wake up. Also I think, this song will be a good single. The music video can be like, walking on a field or like just biking on the street with a sunny weather haha! With this song, she wants us to know that her dark era (Best comeback & tour ever! Like ever.) is done and that she’s completely over with this DJ (I forgot his name jk. ) who had a show that nobody came haha jk!

Cruel Summer – Best song ever. I mean, aside from All Too Well and Our Song haha! … And Getaway Car. Damn, don’t ask me about her best song coz I’m not sure if can answer that. Because they’re all good! They’re the best. Same with asking me her worst song! My answer will be forever N/A! Anyway, no doubt that this song is the continuation of Getaway Car. Try to put this song next to Getaway Car, I’ll give you $100 if you disagree. The closing beat of GC really fits CS. Let’s talk about the bridge of this song. It’s a masterpiece. This bridge is so good that in the future it can be like historical where students study it for their literature subject hehe. It’s so good that Taylor even repeated the bridge at the ending. If you’ll be reading this Taylor, please release this as a single! Pretty please with sugar on top! When you didn’t release Getaway Car as a single, I got sick. I can’t talk, eat, and even move due to frustration haha jk! But please! Release this on summer! Music video ideas? Just PM haha! Would it be cool if the music video will start at the last part of Getaway Car?

Lover – The first time I heard this, I was like… I wish I have someone right now to dance on this song. Are they married already? Engaged? Definitely, my wedding song. No Lover, no wedding haha!

The Man – This should be the first single in my opinion. The message is perfect and it’s catchy and unique. But I guess, they released Me! because it’s good for all ages.

The Archer – I don’t know but this song makes me really sad. The saddest track 5 song. And I think this track 5 song is kind of different compare to others coz this is about all your struggles in life, not just with a heartbreak? Well, that’s my interpretation haha! Please don’t kill me if its different from yours.

I Think He Knows – Yeah I know, another great song haha! I mean duh, they’re all great. I don’t need to tell it. Everytime I hear this song, Janelle Monáe keeps popping up from my head. She can have this song!

Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince – When I first saw the title I was like, is this a Fall Out Boy song? The first time I heard it, this is a good OST!

Paper Rings – Cute song. Another song that is perfect for OST. A rom-com movie!

Cornelia Street – The storytelling here is really good (Shout out to All Too Well again!) especially when you’re familiar with the place. I even tried to listen to it while walking on the street of Cornelia haha! Then it rained jk. Now I just need to rent a place in Cornelia street. Typed it casually in my room. Not my car. No pun intended hehe.

Death By A Thousand Cuts – This is like Look What You Made Me Do part 2 due to the horror vibe that I get from this song haha! The title and the my, my part along with that background sound that you usually hear in some horror movies. But the guitar part in the chorus makes me want to cry from being heartbroken and how life can be beautiful haha! When the album got released, this song was on repeat.

London Boy – Now everyone wants a London Boy and boys from London couldn’t be more proud of themselves. I hear This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things in this song.

Soon You’ll Get Better – Let me get a tissue first before I start with this song. Jk. I didn’t cry after hearing this song for the first time but I got headache due to resisting it hehe. If this song didn’t do anything for you, you’re a monster, a rat. :))) BTW, it’s so nice to hear Dixie Chicks again after a long time. I love their version of Can’t Hurry Love haha!

False God – Sexy saxophone hello! I feel like it’s a grown up song that’s why I cant relate haha! A coat and tie song. You know what I mean? Don’t worry, me too. It’s a sexy song, a date song. Like a good background when you’re having a dinner date (in NYC) and the next deed after that date. *Insert devil emoji.

You Need To Calm Down – I failed to calm down after seeing the music video of this. Queens everywhere in the music video. The message and video are indeed powerful.

Afterglow – When you want to emote, this song will help you. Feel free to do an interpretative dance. This will help you to calm down and be relaxed after what You Need To Calm Down served us.

Me! – Yes with the exclamation point! This song never fails to startled me especially after playing Afterglow. The silence and then suddenly… “I promise that…” haha! Like, WTF Taylor stop scaring me haha! But I won’t really forget the excitement I had when I was waiting for the release of the music video and the feeling of seeing it for the first time. Priceless. Definitely, this will be the encore song for the tour!

It’s Nice To Have A Friend – Is this about wedding? But what I’m really sure of is that this song is perfect for winter. You’re inside your room next to your window drinking hot chocolate watching snow fall, confirming if all snowflakes are really different from each other and this is your background music.

Daylight – I lost count already on how many times I used this song as a background music for my sunrise/sunset Instagram story. I agree with you Taylor, you are what you love. And the Red reference, brilliant! You know what, even until now I still can’t decide which closing song is the best. Clean or this? Or Begin Again? Here we go again… I. don’t. know. Coz they’re all great haha! Is it just me because I’m a Gemini or is it really hard to decide which one is her best song because all of Taylor’s songs are so good and incomparable!

Andddd we’re done haha! Reading is fun! Right? Haha! Stay Safe!

*This is originally from my WordPress.

@taylorswift @taylornation

[rhapsodic-euphoria]

Hierarchy-Chapter 16

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⇄A/N: The song is ‘Cherry Blossom Love Song’. I used my own knowledge to translate it so it may be a bit mistranslated. Also, if you haven’t listened to this song. GO LISTEN TO IT. One of my favorite OSTs for one of favorite K-dramas.

 “Of course.” Chen guides you besides the piano as he sits on the bench. He pats his lap for you to sit on. You gently rest yourself onto him as his arms went around you.

 He began to play a beautiful, yet sad melody onto the piano. You could tell he didn’t practice much from the way his fingers trembled ever so slightly whenever he pressed down onto the keys. But you didn’t say anything. His music was ever so beautiful, the little mishaps meant nothing.

 He breathes out the first note as he sways to the soft rhythm to the music. You can’t help but rock with him as you smile.  

 “Are the falling cherry blossoms, from the passing wind, so lonely they resemble you?”  

 You lean into him as he belts out the soft lyrics, your hands resting beside his legs. You listen to the flowing melody as his voice surrounds you. The mellow light streaming from the curtains warmly tingle your skin, as his body around you creates as sense of belonging and comfort.

 His voice decorates the melody as you sway to the music. Everything falls away as you feel the former tensions easing away.

 “I loved you.”

 Too soon, he ends the song with a breathy sigh. His fingers rest onto the piano keys as the crisp, final notes fade into silence. The silence is only comforting as you relax into his presence.

 “Do you not sing anymore?” You finally break the silence as you ask.

 “I’m a busy man.” He chuckles as he wraps his arms around your waist. “But I’ll always sing for you.”

 “I’ll always listen then.” You smile up to him. He surprises you by embracing you in a tight hug.  

 “Chen.” You muttered into his chest as he gently pulls away.

 “Jongdae.” He mutters into your hair. “My real name.”

 “Jongdae.” You taste his name onto your lips. “Do the others have real names?”

 “Yes.” He hums into you. “I don’t think it’s my place to say, though.”

 You nod as you look up at him. He gives you a warm smile. You smile back as you observe his face. Almost as if you were memorizing it. He gives you a light kiss on the head before nodding towards the door.

 “Let’s go.” He pulls you as he guides you out the door. You follow him blindly as he leads you through a series of corridors and turns.

 “Here?” You point to the door Jongdae stopped in front of. He nods as he opens the door for you.

 As you walk in, you can feel his presence behind you. When you walk in you see the standard monochromic interior. You see a hospital bed against the wall and Lay standing beside it.

 “Hello.” You nod in greeting towards Lay as he turns and smiles to you.

 “He’s unconscious right now, but he’s healing.” Lay nods towards the man on the hospital bed. With his face much clearer without the blood, you slightly recognize him. He seemed like someone from campus, but you couldn’t be sure.

 “Thank you, Lay.” You tell Lay genuinely.  

 “Yixing, is my birth name.” He says as his eyes crinkle a bit.

 You nod as you smile to him. He returns the smile and you can’t help but smile wider at his prominent dimples decorating his already perfect smile.

 “I’ll leave both of you.” Yixing said as he walked towards the door, pulling on Jongdae’s sleeve.

 “What? Me too?” He asks, confused. “But I thought you meant-”

 “It’s fine Jongdae. I’ll see you later, both of you.” You smile at him. He shuts up and nods.

 “The only person who can thoroughly shut this man up.” Yixing mutters as he pulls Jongdae out of the room. You look as he closes the door behind them.

 “Finally.” You turn to look at the man on the bed.

 “You were awake the whole time?” You ask.

 “Yeah. It’s kind of hard to stay unconscious when people are talking right beside you.” He mutters as you let out a small chuckle.

 “Who were you?” You ask after a few moments of silence.

 “I was an assistant professor to Jeong-Hui's professor.” He says.  

 “Oh. Were you the one following her?” You can’t help but slightly clench your fists a bit.

 “Yeah. I was instructed to.” He mutters as he notices your hands.

 “Makes sense.” You nod. You can’t change what he has already done, there was no point.

 “You must be in quite a situation.” He notes.

 “What’s that supposed to mean?” You ask, you feel as if he’s not talking about just Jeong-Hui.

 “Nothing ever comes out well when 9 men are deeply in love with 1 woman.” He chuckles a bit.  

 “All?” You murmur as you think.

 “You don’t notice?” He muses. “Of course, most of them outwardly express their liking to you.”

 “I can’t.” You say, shaking your head. “I have Jeong-Hui.”

 “There’s always more room for than just one in your heart.” He gives you a half hearted smile.

 “I might not come back alive.” You say. “I don’t want them to hold onto something that would go.”

 “Do you think memories are temporary?” He asks you. “You don’t know a lot, you know. How can you be so sure that you won’t come back alive?”

 “What makes you think that I will?” You look out the windows. “After what I did to them, them to me. What gives them a reason to keep me alive?”

 “If they wanted to kill you, they would’ve done it already.” The man mutters. “They already knew about Jeong-Hui, right?”

 “Yes. But they’re known to play around with their enemies.” You sigh out. Death was a small topic to you, but in such an emotional way it was taxing.

 “If you were going to die, would you be afraid now?” He asks you.

 “Yes and no.” You think for a moment. “Maybe, after taking a glimpse of what might be waiting for me.”

 The aura around the room is settled into a comfortable silence. But it was very solemn as well.  

[issantashikibaindr3orndrv3yet]

Danganronpa Kirigiri Sou translation-Part 12

<- Part 11 | Masterpost | Part 13->

A transcript of part 12 of juicedup14 playthrough/translation of Kirigiri Sou, which you can watch here.

Again thanks to @drmedicsgamesurgery​ for helping me work on the transcript.

((jumpcuts to first bad end; Option choice where Kouhei decides if he wants to leave Kirigiri or not))

A. “Okay. I’ll leave.”

B. “I can’t abandon her here!”

juicedup14 chooses A

“Okay. I’ll leave.”

I say that, and turn my back to Kirigiri.

“Thank you…...you’re our savior.”

Kyouka happily says.

This is good.

I leave the room. I feel like I heard a muffled, suffering voice behind me, but it has nothing to do with me anymore.

The entrance easily opens.

With some horrible rain, I run through the dark garden. And go through the gate. Without turning back I run through the forest. It took one night for me to get to a town.

Many days have passed since then. I return back to my normal life. At first I checked the news and newspapers, if there was anything about the mansion, but nothing.

Everything that happened in the mansion feels like a dream that has never happened.

Until one night.

In the middle of the night, in my apartment building there was a knock at my door, and I woke up.

Who could it be at this time……?

And they didn’t even use the intercom, they went right to my door.

When I was half awake, I get to the entrance, and look through the peephole.

And what was standing there was……

A long haired girl.

I suddenly wake up. My blood drains.

From the fisheye lens, what was standing there in the middle…...was Kirigiri Kyouko.

She’s alive?

How could it be……

Or did she turn into a monster, and holds a grudge against me when I left her to die?

Wait, wait a minute.

It’s not Kirigiri, could it be Kyouka?

If so…...for what reason, at this time, to me?

I can only think of one reason. She wants to get rid of me because I know the secret of the mansion.

Which one could she be?

Is it Kirigiri?

Or Kyouka?

Either way, all I can see is a dark future ahead of me.

The knock at my door gets stronger.

Stop it……

I cover my ears, and curl into a ball.

The door now clatters.

And when I think it stops…...the lock turns, and opens.

Stop it……

Don’t come in!

The door slowly opens……

She enters.

“You…...which one are you? Which one!?”

“I am-”

Bad End 1: Cleared

Route 4 out of 6 (+2) Complete

((jumpcut to bad end 3; option choice of little Rhinogradentia))

juicedup14 chooses A

“Let’s kill it!”

I get up and say.

“That’s the only thing we can do.”

Kyouka points her gun at the small Rhinogradentia.

“Wait.”

Kirigiri stops us.

“We shouldn’t kill it.”

“Why?”

“If you look at it…...it’s cute……”

“What part!?”

I unconsciously retaliate.

“Not just that. It’s their only way of negotiating. It’s our hostage.

((skipped same text))

((Option choice of who will give the little Rhinogradentia back))

juicedup14 chooses A

I get up and raise my hand when they ask who should carry the box.

“I’ll do it. For the Earth, let me give up my life.”

If I look like I’m useful, they won’t leave me out. That’s my secret motive.

“It’s a dangerous plan, Kouhei.”

“I respect you! Noobie.”

It didn’t feel bad having their attention. I never had the chance in my whole life to feel like the main role. But only Kirigiri had an uneasy expression on her face.

“Well then…...let’s go!”

I carry the fruit box, and head out to the hallway.

The stairs became rubble from the explosion, but they’ve already gotten up here.

Right in front of us, past the hallway, many Rhinogradentia can be seen. I carry the box, and walk right in front of them. I take out the hostage, and put it on the floor.

Maybe they noticed, because they stop.

“Alright, it’s working.”

I can hear Shikiba’s voice from behind.

The small Rhinogradentia is confused, and goes towards the others. The other Rhinogradentia slowly walk forward.

And then their eyes, all of a sudden-go from black to red.

“Is this the attack color!?”

The Rhinogradentia hoard charges!

They step over the hostage, and then head towards me.

“They’re losing themselves in anger!”

Shikiba’s voice of terror echoes through the hall.

I have no time to get away…...and I get run over.

My body flies through the air, and I get swished within the wave of charging Rhinogradentia.

And that’s where my consciousness ceased.

I knew I couldn’t do it……

Bad End 3: Cleared

Route 5 out of 6 (+2) Complete

((jumpcuts to bad end 2))

What a weird looking girl. I think that, and then I immediately close the window.

If she’s safe, then I don’t need to talk to her anymore.

I hit the acceleration, and leave her there. For now, let’s just get out of the forest.

I head forward fast. I hit the radio switch, but all I can hear is noise.

“How weird……”

I tried tuning it, but I avert my eyes from the road.

And that moment was deadly.

Right in front of me, in front of my headlights, all of a sudden a human figure appears.

A girl!?

Again.

Even though it was twice, I immediately hit the break.

The person who was being lit up by the headlight was-just like the other girl.

What is this?

I thought I left her there. I went straight forward, and there wasn’t any branching paths. Even so, how did she get in front of the car by just walking?

Wait, her clothes are different. This one’s wearing a shabby one piece dress…...almost like a ghost.

She gets closer to my car.

“Um…...would it be fine if you let me in?”

She looks into the driver’s side.

A. I don’t have a good feeling. I shouldn’t let her in.

B. I can’t leave her here. I have no choice but to let her in.

juicedup14 chooses B

I can’t leave her here. I have no choice but to let her in. She gets into the passenger’s seat.

The atmosphere inside the car gets heavy. And it sort of smells kind of mossy in here. What is this smell……

Kind of like leaves?

“Um…...are you a detective?”

The girl in the passenger seat asks a weird question.

“Detective? No, not really……”

“Oh, is that so…...Well then, so are you just happened to be driving by here?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.”

“Do you know the person call Kirigiri Kyouko?”

“Kirigiri……? I don’t know them.”

“Oh. So I guess there’ll be two portions tonight then.”

“Two portions?”

What has she been saying this whole time?

She’s saying such weird things, they’re kind of eerie.

When I look at her by my peripheral vision, the girl suddenly pushes her body forward and grabs the handle.

“Hey! What the-”

She turns it, and makes a turn towards a tree and crashes it.

Break-

It won’t work!

A clashing sound of metal. At the same time of the impact, my body feels like it’s been chop up to pieces. I don’t know whether the ground is left or right. My consciousness went away.

While I’m still in a hazy consciousness, I opened my eyes slowly, and I see her eyes.

That girl……

Stop it......

“I found some good nutrition. I need to bring it back to them fast......”

She smiles happily.

Nutrition……?

What does she mean?

After that, with a sound of clashing metal, I’m bound and carry somewhere. Last thing I remember, was seeing a twisted face looking at me.

“Now, everyone-eat up.”

Bad End 2: Cleared

Route 6 out of 8 Complete

((jump cuts to first option when he is about to crash into Kirigiri))

D. I wake up from my bed

juicedup14 chooses D

I wake up from my bed.

“Huh!? A dream……”

My whole body is covered in sweat.

I’m having a weird dream right on my first day of transferring schools. I really am nervous, aren’t I? ((Actual Danganronpa music starts playing instead of the Otogirisou and Banshee’s Last Cry OST from here on out))

“I’ll be back.”

After finishing my breakfast, I head to school. This is my fourth time transferring schools. I thought I’ll be used to it by now. I was a bit nervous when getting into my first class.

“Alright everyone, silence. I’m going to introduce the new student. Everyone, get along well from now on with Kouhei-kun. He’s be together with us in this class. Well then, your seat will be……”

The homeroom teacher points to the way back seat.

“Right next to Kirigiri-kun.”

She’s holding her hand up to her chin, looking outside the window. The wind blows the curtain slowly, at the same time as her hair. I can see the side of her face clearly.

“Ah, it’s the girl that was in my dream!”

I unconsciously said that out loud.

With a surprised look, she looks over at me. Our eyes meet. At that time, the homeroom ending chim begins. At the same time, that was the bell that pull the curtains to our bizarre school life-

“......Are you okay?”

It wasn’t the bell, it was the sound of knocking……

“Huh!?”

When I noticed, I was laying face forward on the handle.

I lost consciousness……

I feel like I saw a weird dream.

I notice there was a knocking sound on the glass window. I look outside, and the girl is looking inside.

“Ah, the girl I saw in my dream!”

I unconsciously said out loud.

She tilts her head with suspicion.

Our surrounding was not, of course, a classroom, but a dark forest. I remember that she was about to be run over. I lost consciousness and I don’t know what happened, but looks like she’s quite safe.

“For now, get out of the car.”

She complains to me from the window.

Why is she hurrying me so much?

Is she going to hit me because I was about to run her over, and going to sue me as well……

“Hurry.”

She’s very prompt, isn’t she?

Without knowing what’s happening, I do as she says and get out of the car.

“Get away from the car.”

She pulls my clothes, and gets me away from the car.

And then all of a sudden, smoke erupts from the hood. A couple seconds later, fire erupts. And then all of a sudden, the whole body becomes engulfed in flames.

“What is this!?’

“It was close. After a little bit, you would have been lost Kouhei.”

“Eh!? Why do you know my name?”

“It’s obvious. There’s nothing I don’t know.”

A little smile shows up from her mouth, and puffs her chest. Could it be because it’s wet, I can see her chest through her shirt. She’s not very conscious of her body, is she?

By the way…...her underwear is black!

UAAAAAa!

A. “3.1415926535……”

B. “Who…...are you?”

C. “How do I confirm you panty color?”

juicedup14 chooses C

“How do I confirm you panty color?”

“What are you saying all of a sudden?”

Her eyes squint.

Huh?

Oh no! That was a selection trap!

I said it out loud.

“Don’t ask me anything ridiculous. Of course they’re black.”

“I’m sorry……!?”

I feel like the rules of the universe broke, but I don’t really care.

“By the way, what’s your name? I haven’t heard it.”

“My name is Kirigiri Kyouko. I’m the Super High School Level…...I can’t say anything more than that.”

“Are you hiding it?”

“Women have lots of secrets.”

“Huh……”

“By the way, now that this happened to your car, what you going to do now?”

“Right…...this is troublesome. I guess I can’t go home anymore. And my phone won’t connect. I just wish there was somewhere to get away from the rain……”

As I say that, Kirigiri smacks me on the shoulder, and points behind.

When I turned around, there’s an old looking gate, and behind that is a mansion.

It’s a huge mansion.

“Hun, when did that get there? The developments are fast.”

“It’s perfect for getting away from the rain.”

“I don’t want to stay there very long……”

When I look at the mansion again, I feel like there would be a suit of armor that would start moving all of a sudden, and a kitchen drenched in blood.

And there’s a window that has a bit of light. Is something living in this eerie mansion?

“Do you have any business in this mansion?”

I ask, and Kirigiri nods.

“Well then, can you introduce me to the people inside? I’m in trouble because of my car. I just need to borrow their phone.”

“Okay, easy peasy.”

“Thanks. That’ll help me a lot.”

She give me an OK mark with her fingers. There’s a weird feeling about seeing her do that, but at the same time she opens the gate.

“Geee-”

The rusty gate creaks.

“Wait, didn’t that sound come from your mouth?”

“Eh? What are you talking about?”

Kirigiri’s playing dumb. there were brackets around the words, so it had to have been her.

There is a large garden in front of the entrance. There’s lots of odd flowers blooming in the garden, and we get to the entrance of the mansion.

I knock on the door.

After waiting a while, there was no response. I grab the doorknob.

“Uah.”

When I grab the doorknob, there’s a slimy feeling, and I get my hand away.

When I look, my hand is colored pink.

“Is this, blood……?”

“That has to be paint. Why would human blood be pink?”

Kirigiri grabs the doorknob with her gloves.

And it easily opens.

Inside was a large entrance hall, with a dimly lit lighting from a large ceiling. It doesn’t feel like there’s anyone here.

“Excuse me. Is there anyone here?”

I call to the inside.

There’s no response.

Without any hesitation, Kirigiri steps inside.

Right in the center, there is a large door. By that are two staircases going up in a curve. On the two walls on the sides, there are doors. There is a clock on the base of the stairs, clicking time.

It feels like the inside is a bit more taken care of than the outside of the mansion. If it wasn’t for the sound of the time, it’ll feel like this place was stopped in time forever.

What’s weird is that at the side of the entrance hall, was a weird flower bed.

It’s all made of brick, and one tree is growing there. It’s kind of as big as an adult tree. The green leaves head up all the way to the ceiling.

There’s a tree growing inside the mansion.

I don’t know what this plant is called, but there are vein-looking things on the trunk. Almost like a veiny creature.

“What an odd mansion……”

I say that as I look up to the tree.

A.“You can practice tree climbing indoors.”

B. “This truly is mys-tree-ous.”

C. “This tree doesn’t have enough nutrition.”

juicedup14 chooses B

“This truly is mys-tree-ous.”

“What?”

Kirigiri tilts her head.

“Well, you see, I took tree and put it in front of mysterious-”

“More importantly, why don’t you grab the tree-ceiver?”

“Hun?”

“......The receiver, I took tree in front of receiver……”

Kirigiri looks embarrassed for having to explain her joke, and looks down.

Actually the bell hasn’t even rung yet. Did she skip a page in her script?

At that time, from out of nowhere, we can hear a phone ring.

“It’s a phone! There’s a phone somewhere.”

It feels like the phone is somewhere nearby. I try to hear closer, but it seems like it’s coming from inside the tree.

“What is this…...what does this mean?”

I look around the tree, but I couldn’t find it anywhere.

“Look, it opens here.”

Kirigiri looks at a hollow spot in the tree There’s a hinge on the trunk of the tree, where a shelf opens up. Inside there was a phone placed there.

“What, so it was that type of contraption.”

“I got it! So this is just a shelf to put the phone in!”

As if solving a mystery, twirls her finger in the air and said.

“What a lame interior design.”

“The owner of this mansion must have very interesting tastes.”

“I see. By the way, do you know who lives in this mansion, why you came here?”

“Yeah. It was an anonymous request that I was called for. The pre-reward was one hundred thousand dollars. If I succeed, a hundred thousand.”

“Are you okay with just saying that out loud?”

“Ah.”

Kirigiri panicely puts her hands in front of her mouth.

“Are you perhaps a Super High School Level Detective?”

“I am the Super High School Level-I can’t say anymore than that.”

She’s really adamant about that, isn’t she?

Clatter…...clatter……

From somewhere, we can hear metal noises rubbing against each other.

Clatter…...clatter……

What was it?

Is something moving?

Me and Kirigiri both look at each other, and close our mouths, and try to listen.

Clatter…...clatter……

There’s a loud sound coming from the stairs. That’s where it’s coming from.

What was it?

Is something moving?

Me and Kirigiri both look at each other, and close our mouths, and try to listen.

Clatter…...clatter……

There’s a loud sound coming from the stairs. That’s where it’s coming from.

-It becomes quiet. We try turning the doorknob, but its locked. It’s not here.

It must be the door to the right of the entrance.

Clatter…...clatter……

It’s here!

There’s someone on the other side of the door!

With sneaking steps, Kirigiri gets closer to the door.

And grabs the doorknob, and forcefully opens it.

In there was a reception room. In front of the fireplace was a sofa, with shelves lined with books on the wall. The only light inside the room was a small light at the fireplace, with embers flying about everywhere. We can make out a silhouette from the sofa.

There’s a person there.

-There’s someone sitting on the sofa.

They had their back to us. They haven’t noticed that we’re here.

“Um……”

I try to talk to them.

But the figure doesn’t turn around. They stay faced forward, looking at the fireplace.

Kirigiri goes in front of the sofa, and looks at the person that’s sitting down.

And then, as if sighing, her shoulders shulk.

“This is just Hagakure.”

Hagakure!?

I go in front of the sofa.

Just as she says, there was just Hagakure Yasuhiro sitting there. From his head to the tips of his toes, was a figure made up of the Super High School Level Fortune Teller, sitting there.

“Huh, how weird……”

I curiously stare at Hagakure. But Kirigiri is more interested in the fireplace than Hagakure.

“There’s something burning here.”

Kirigiri takes the firepick from the side of the fireplace, and starts searching around in the fireplace. And she takes out the sweet potato that’s being roasted red and black inside the fireplace.

She whips away the ash from the cooked potato.

“Wow, that looks delicious!”

Kirigiri immediately cuts the potato in half, and begins eating it. I thought she would give the other half to me, but she starts eating both of them, one after another.

“No fair, give me some too.”

“I don’t want to. Because I found it, it’s mine.”

“Just a little bit, come on.”

A. I forcefully grab the other one and start eating it.

B. i got upset.

juicedup14 chooses A

I forcefully grab the other one and start eating it.

And then, all of a sudden Kirigiri cheeks become red and flustered.

“What is it?”

“Second hand…...kiss……”

She embaressley says.

Wait, this isn’t romantic at all!

“Huh? There’s something else here.”

She says that, and takes a piece of paper from the ash.

It looks like a piece of a memo that has something written on it.

“Kiss the sleeping beauty in order to reveal the truth.”

That’s what was written there.

“What is this?”

“Who knows?”

Kirigiri gives a response like she doesn’t care, and puts the note in her pocket.

“You really not know anything?”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t lie. You’ve been wanting to come to this mansion all along, haven’t you? What’s your goal? What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything.”

Kirigiri pouts and turns around.

Well, I can't hide anything from her.

“I see. Well then, let’s go find the owner of this mansion. If we do that, everything will become clear.”

I say with resolution.

“If there’s someone we can talk to.”

“What do you mean?”

“They might be a capybara.”

“......Huh?”

“It might be a possibility.”

Kirigiri without expression shakes her head.

It’s possible. In this kind of eerie mansion, a capybara might be loafing about. When I think about the things that were burnt in the fireplace, it all feels it could actually happen.

“Before we meet the capybara, we need to find some bait. The more bait we have, the better.”

Kirigiri says that, and goes back to the entrance hall door, and goes through another door.

And then, there is like a dining hall room. There is a white cloth over a long table. In the middle of the table was a candle. I’ve never seen anything like this other than dramas or movies.

If I look closely, the cloth is a bit dirty. Not very hygienic. And it’s stained black and red spots.

It’s almost like as if…...it was rubbed with blood.

In order to inspect them, I get closer to the table.

But when I get closer to the window, I feel something moved outside the window, and I stop.

I feel there is something looking inside from out there……

And not just one, many figures.

All of a sudden, I open the window, and I make sure.

-There’s no one out there.

Because there are bars over the window, I can’t look any further. And it’s so dark. Even with straining my eyes, I can only make out some flowers that are in weird shapes growing about. There is a weird plant, some unregulated overgrown. With leaves swirling about, and the vines spreading everywhere.

If I look closely, there’s something rolling on the ground.

Skulls!?

There are various skulls around the garden.

I give out a scream, and fall backward.

When she notices me, she looks outside. But all of a sudden, the wind blows, and hides those plants.

“Right, now…...there were so many skulls……”

Even though I attest to that, she only tilts her head.

A. “This mansion is haunted! Let’s get out of here already!”

B. “This mansion is haunted! Let’s take pictures.”

juicedup14 chooses B

“This mansion is haunted! Let’s take pictures.”

As I said that, Kirigiri nods happily.

“Seeing as how it’s so eerie looking, yeah.”

I forget I had a camera over my shoulders. When I put it there, I set the timer.

“Alright, it’s going to take a picture.”

Me and Kirigiri line up.

Shutter.

We check the picture in the digital screen. There was some weird spirit over the window that was taken a picture of. But more importantly, Kirigiri’s mouth was half open, and her being all nervous was so cute.

“Ahaha, what is this? Do you always make this face when you get taken a picture taken of?”

“Don’t say that, it’s embarrassing. That’s just, a trait of mine! More importantly, there’s a red line here.”

Kirigiri sees that there’s a red going from the table. There’s lots of red spots heading towards the door.

What could be behind that door?

I’m afraid to think about it.

Even Kirigiri strained her brow when looking at the door. She slowly heads towards the door.

And without hesitation she opens it.

It look like a kitchen. There was a dripping sound coming from the sink, that you can hear very well. Everything was so dark that you could barely see anything. Kirigiri takes out her penlight.

And then…...what we saw were red stains all over the sink.

They’re all dried up, and had a rotten smell to it. Me and Kirigiri both cover our noses.

“Oh…...this isn’t up to code……”

I just barely manage to say that. I was afraid that someone might hear it, so I said it very quietly.

“There’s a fridge in the back.”

“Ah……”

“Let’s open it.”

“Huh?”

I panicely chase after Kirigiri, who goes into the repulsive kitchen.

“Stop it, that’s enough.”

“If there’s something here, then we need to make sure of it.”

“What do you mean something……”

“As you can see, a tragedy.”

Kirigiri goes in front of the fridge.

Why is she so calm about this? Is she courageous? This isn’t the level to be calm. She’s-used to this. There’s no one who could be used to this kind of situation in their everyday life, and have that kind of expression.

Just what kind of life do they lead, where they can be so used to this kind of situation? I’m afraid to think about it. I…...honestly have no confidence to say myself right now.

Finally, Kirigiri with her gloved hands, grabs the fridge’s door.

Don’t open it, don’t open it……

I say that in my mind continuous times.

But my wishes were not granted. She opens the fridge.

When she opens it, the fridge light’s her face up. That expression did not change……

“It’s tuna sashimi!”

Kirigiri takes out a plate of lots of cut-up tuna from the fridge. It’s a fresh batch, it’s the fat underbelly of tuna, considered high quality. There’s like a mountain of sashimi inside the fridge.

“There must have been a tuna cutting show happening here.”

“I see, so this is the tragedy.”

“Oh my god, how could this be…...there’s no soy sauce.”

“There isn’t even any wasabi! This mansion really isn’t normal. Let’s get out of here, and report this to the police.”

Kirigiri doesn’t argue with my idea.

We return to the entrance hall.

[armin-ask-mcl]

Don’t Think Twice (NathxCandy)

[[Holy fuck, I wrote something not related to Armin. Anywho, hope you enjoy. I’m still slowly getting back into writing, it’ll be forever before I don’t suck as much. Based on a Candy who dated Castiel, at the end of episode 6 MCLUL conversation with Nathaniel. Song inspired by Don’t Think Twice from KH3 OST. Yes, I put in a Castlevania anime reference. Alucard and Trevor is Nath and Cassy, fight me.]]

She paced back and forth slowly in the small dorm room. He remained still in one place yet twisting his hands and arms restlessly. The two were locked in conversation, the air between them heavy. “I don’t know what to think anymore, Nath…” She sighed with exasperation, collapsing onto her bed.

The remainder of her energy she tried to use to keep engaged with him, an exhausting endeavor itself. “One minute you’re funny and nice. The next you’re worked up and easily agitated. Then you want to argue with professors just to get yourself out of school?” Candy grunted pulling up half her body to sit up while on her bed. “I get it, you changed. And that’s fine! But you’re changing so much it’s hard to get a read on you just for that day.”

Nathaniel shook his head and looked down at the floor. A few moments passed and neither said anything. She took it as a sign to continue.

“I see you one second and you save me. The next, you’re there to support me to go to Cass’s concert only to berate me from helping you and Amber.” She crossed her arms in front of her and leaned into them. “I wish you could tell me what’s going on. I only want to listen. I’m tired of hearing rumors from people as my only source into your life.”

At that moment, he looked back up at her. “What kind of rumors?”

She rolled her eyes, having a flood of conversations from the past few weeks come to mind. “That you get in fights, that you go to parties, you hang around junkies. That you’re involved in drugs? I really doubt any of the last bit, but you have people so scared of you that they run away instead of helping.”

His expression darkened, his eyes narrowing and focusing on a random spot on the wall behind her. It was becoming too difficult to look directly at her. “Maybe they were right to run away.”

“You know that’s not true. Nath, I’m worried about you.”

He ran his hand through his messy blond hair. “That’s one of the reasons I’m here then, so let’s address it.” He finally moved over and sat next to her on the bed. He wasn’t happy about being too direct with her, but he found it necessary. Accidentally hurting her feelings was an ill side effect. “I feel like we are… becoming close. Something I didn’t think would happen, especially with you.” She opened her mouth to respond but he gently held his finger in front of her lips. “I mean, let’s be honest. You get into people’s business like crazy. For years now, Candy. You need a hobby.” He grinned wickedly, lowering his hand down from her now frowning mouth.

“In all seriousness, I know you worry. And I can’t stop that.”

“—Unless you tell me what’s going on!” She started speaking over him stubbornly.

“And!” He raised his volume to match hers for a second, just as stubborn. “I really do want to talk, I do want to open up… but I can’t right now.” The bravado crumbled, and he started reaching out for her hand only to stop an inch above it. His voice ached with grief and sincerity. “Right now, I can’t have you chasing after me being worried. Focus on yourself, please.” He started to move his hand away, but Candy gently used her free hand to push his down on the hand he reached for before, sandwiching his.

Trying to ignore her action, he bore his gaze at her. “I don’t want you to get in trouble. And you know that rumors are just that. But if you believe them, if you think I’m just as worthless as they make me out to be then go. Run. I’m not interested in causing you pain.” His hand then lightly pressured her own. His golden eyes settled down, as if he couldn’t stand looking at her when she delivered the final blow. While she knew what she wanted to say, she waited. She hoped he would give her opening; a hole in the tall fortress he built up.

Seconds of silence passed that felt like minutes. With a concentrated breath, he finally added “But if you know…if you know I’m not a lost cause. Then,” He paused very briefly, taking in a quick breath and straightening his posture. A sign that his wall would be back up soon. “Then maybe think twice before you run away. If you do, I don’t wanna know…”

Candy shifted her body to face Nathaniel more and lifted his hand in her own. He would never admit that his knuckles were in pain if she held them tight, so she remained tender. “Nath,” He closed his eyes for a moment before returning the regard he could feel coming from her. “I have never, not once, considered running from you.”

And he finally he broke, a laugh escaping from his stoic character. “Yeah, you don’t really… yeah, you’re a bit reckless, you know?” With consideration, he removed himself from her touch and stood up on the bed. Though he was acting calm and that nothing happened, the tension in the room lifted. “I better get going soon. Looks like you were getting ready for bed. I wouldn’t want to keep you away from your lover.”

Candy choked on air a bit at hearing the lover part. “Um, ex-excuse me?” Surely, he didn’t mean Castiel. The two barely reacquainted lately and there was a lot of awkward feelings on the situation.

With his back to her, Nathaniel stretched his neck and shoulders before looking at her smugly. “I meant you and the oreo crumbs around your mouth.”

Blood rushed to Candy’s cheeks, a hue of blush spreading quickly across her face. Instead of letting him sit there, grinning away like a jerk she wiped away all the crumbs and smiled proudly with her clean face. His smile widened. “Oh, taking it to bed already? Wild one,” And he laughed seeing her try and brush away all the crumbs on her bed. “Oh hush, and go already, you nerd.” She mumbled, cleaning off her comforter.

He shrugged, about to be on his way when he smacked his own forehead. “Ugh, I forgot. I came here for a real reason,” he said, sweeping all the emotional bits that had just happened under a rug. He walked back to her bed and now crumbly floor to hand her a CD case. She raised her eyebrow at it, taking the case and looking it over. She quickly gasped and brightly smiled. “It’s Cass’s CD! Oh my gosh, please tell me the terrible things people think you’re doing is bootlegging his band’s merchandise.” He snorted and bit his bottom lip, pulling it in while smiling back at her. “You caught me, Candy.”

She ran her fingers across the black cover, opening it up quickly to find the lyric book inside. She wanted to tell him how much it meant to her to have this, but he already knew. He must have. The least she could do was look back at him and smile sweetly. “Thanks Nath.”

He rolled his eyes. “Don’t thank me yet. I just want you to hear how bad they are without the overwhelming concert experience.”

Unimpressed with his response, she quipped back at him. “Oh yeah? You say that, but I have a feeling you go home and wear a ‘Castielove’ oversized shirt to bed.”

Nath finally head back to his route to leave the dorm room. “You’re charming, as always dear.” As he opened the door and started closing it halfway, he muttered beneath his breath “I can see what he saw now.”

Unaware of what he said, Candy continued to play with the CD and ignoring the obvious responsibilities screaming at her in her room. She curled up into her comforter and started going through the lyric book, hunting down songs she heard at the concert.

--

Meanwhile, the bar down town had started closing. People started talking to their designated drivers, silly drunks exclaiming the fun was over. Castiel remained hunched over at the bar, sipping away his beer while scrolling through his phone. The bar stool next to him screeched slightly as another patron pulled up the seat to sit in. He requested a cold beer before the night finally ended and the bartender admitted to only one since he would close soon.

Without looking up, the red head guitarist addressed his neighbor. “Didn’t think you’d be back here so soon. How did it go?”

Nathaniel groaned as he sat up and waited for his drink. “Why do you want to know? It’s my business.”

“You want me to knock ya out? Keep your smartass comments to yourself, Nathaniel.”

Nathaniel passed an annoyed glance at Castiel. “I don’t care for your music, so I went over to Candy’s place and gave her that CD.” He thanked the bartender when he received his opened bottle and took a swig of beer.

Castiel’s mouth twitched slightly, almost as if he was going to smile. “Thought you would.” He took a longer sip, trying to finish his drink before heading out for the night. Nathaniel’s gold eyes glared at his once high school rival. “I’m not your messenger after that. Here on out, you’re going to be direct with her.” The other shrugged.

The two sat in silence as the once crowded bar quieted down. The employees left them alone. One a rising Rockstar, the other a frequent patron. While they vehemently disagreed, now they were calm and quiet. It was the only good quality time the two could have. Finally, Castiel finished his drink and paid his tab to the keep. He hopped off the stool and said nothing as he started to leave. “You know,” Nathaniel started, “I see what you saw once.”

Castiel looked back at Nath and shook his head. “Wrong. I never stopped seeing.” Nathaniel pushed his unfinished drink back to the bartender with his payment, seemingly unphased by the other. Nath got up himself and started walking out, not intending to add anything to the conversation.

“Hey Nath,” Castiel called out from across the bar. Nathaniel looked back languidly and furrowed his brows quickly at the sight. Castiel grinned, flipping him off. “Eat shit and die.”

Nathaniel flipped him off, in this weird mutual standoff. “Yes, fuck you too.” The two chuckle as they go their separate ways for the night.

[[If you enjoyed, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi! Need help with dog funds for my little boy Jacob who has developed severe arthritis. ]]

[flakandforay]

Outro: House of Cards

this is the analysis for the outro of bangtan’s 4th mini album, 화양연화 pt.2

i will be analysing several components - music and lyrics

disclaimer: this is just my personal opinion, feel free to disagree. do let me know your thoughts in my ask box

overall: honestly talk about a song fit to be an ost if a drama ??? like the quality of it is so good and yet this outro is done by the vocal line again. but i believe their voices blended so well for this song that there is this underlying vibe of mystery that just overwhelms me ( in a good way of course ); like a chill down your spine.

music: the outro starts off with this sort of waterfall synth together with this piano melody. and if you listen closer there’s this underlying synth as well inside. for some reason the beginning of the song already sounds a bit depressing, some sort of mysterious, sinister melody that’s waiting to be heard. i really like it. for some reason, the water droplets are the ones acting as the percussion; in a way trying to keep the song in beat. ( for some reason don’t you think the intro could star as the bgm for a horror movie ) at 0:05 onwards, one could hear the use of hi-hats in here to replace the water droplets.

then at 0:09, the heavy sinister bass comes in and what a beat!!! for some reason the water droplets remain. talk about a beat, it’s so creepy yet impactful? then at 0:18, the use of strings helps to signal the next part of the song with jungkook starting it off. what i like is that the heavy bass becomes the underlying beat and doesn’t disappear. if you hear closely, the use of strings is still present but becomes the harmony instead. it is even more prominent at 0:22 and when it transitions to taehyung’s part at 0:27. not to mention the percussion is just crotchets but it sounds enhanced so as to fit the whole heavy bass theme.

sidetrack, for some reason the use of strings drives the whole song to remain sinister together with the heavy bass such that it seems at the end of the song, something terrible might happen which could probably be the house of cards being destroyed such as in the run mv.

but back to the song, i really love how the vocal line sings this whole outro especially taehyung’s lines because he uses his voice to be a bit more breathy and even managed to squeeze in an adlib at the end before it transitions to jimin at 0:37.

i love how it transitions from taehyung to jimin because there’s a really stark contrast in the timbre of their voices hence it’s pleasing to listen to. also, listen to the technique that jimin used at 0:38, it sort of sounds like a growl but it’s so appropriate for this song?? seokjin then comes in at 0:42 to kinda respond to jimin, much like a cause and effect. but for some reason, this part could also have a bit of jungkook inside because seokjin and jungkook’s voices in certain parts sound pretty similar but the way they actually deliver the part and the technique they use  makes the difference hence being able to differentiate between them.

jimin then takes over being it’s passed to seokjin yet again at 0:50. but as seokjin’s part ends, one could hear the slight change in percussion that signals that the chorus is about to drop. now that i think about it, that means jimin and seokjin’s part was actually the prechorus but it wasn’t so obvious that it is the prechorus until hearing that crucial percussion that would be used as a lead-in to the chorus.

then at 0:56 with the chorus actually being dropped, the use of strings has changed to be something that sounds even more sinister as the sound is being dragged out, possibly a vibrato. not to mention taehyung is quick to come inside the chorus that the transition isnt so jagged; the transition is pretty smooth in a way that no one really expected to be a change of who is singing since usually those singing the choruses sing longer etc. not to mention that if you listen closely, you could hear the harmonies of ‘ah’ underlying the chorus as well. then at 1:04, jungkook takes over and wraps up the whole chorus with the harmonies of taehyung.

then at 1:16, as the chorus ends, one could hear this synth much like some film being rolled ( the old ones such as in the 1950s-1960s ) together with the use of a piano. also, you could also hear that there’s this synth that sounds much like thunder that really enhances this whole doomsday feel of the song.

what i love is that at 1:24, there is this vocal line that does adlibs to the beat but the vocal line sounds like those that you’ll hear in a jazz club most likely in the 1950s-1960s or in a cafe where there’s someone singing and right next to them is someone playing the piano. ( what a scene; it just feels so nostalgic ) it feels as though some saxophone could be introduced without the song feeling off at all. then this adlib continues even more till the next part of the song continues with jungkook. and right before it does happen, one could hear yoongi going ‘yeah’ ( im assuming it’s yoongi based on the timbre of his voice etc ) at 1:32.

the strings then return and at 1:36, one could hear jimin harmonizing with jungkook. jungkook then continues a line at 1:41 before jimin comes back to harmonize at 1:43, jungkook has a solo like at 1:45 and then jimin is quick to harmonize yet again at 1:47.

jimin then continues the verse before seokjin takes over at 1:55. this then continues; the exchange between jimin and seokjin before the chorus starts at 2:06. not to mention there is an underlying vocal line in this chorus that enhances the sound. what i love is the fact that the strings are still persistent here and that the percussion took a backseat.

only when it ends and at 2:27 did the deep creepy percussion comes back in, much like the intro and the adlibs of jungkook yet again. then at 2:37, it’s just the heavy strings that slowly drift off to silence.

lyrics: i really love how raw the lyrics sound; specifically the emotions that it brings out 

the expresion ‘house of cards’ dates back to 1645 meaning a structure or argument built on a shaky foundation or one that will collapse if a necessary (but possibly overlooked or unappreciated) element is removed.

throughout, one could see the underlying messages that bangtan once to bring across including putting detailed descriptions of the house of cards from the first verse

또 위태로워 또 위험해 So bad (why) 우린 yeah 더 버티기도 지탱하기도 So hard (hard) 안 돼

=

Insecure again, dangerous again So bad (why?) us, yeah Enduring more, holding out So hard (hard), we can’t

then this inevitable collapse of the house of cards is ingrained here

이미 알고 있어도 멈출 수가 없었어 No way, no way, no way 쓰러져

시간이 지나갈수록 더 망가져가기만 해 No way, no way 또 무너지는 걸

=

Even if you already knew We couldn’t stop No way, no way, no way, falling

As time passes by We only mess it up even more No way, no way, it’s collapsing again

but the prechorus is pretty straightforward, showing the impending collapse; somehow tying in with the whole 화양연화 concept.

카드로 만든 집 그 속에서 우린 끝이 보인대도 곧 쓰러진대도 카드로 만든 집 바보같이 우린 헛된 꿈이래도 이대로 조금 더 stay

=

A house made of cards, and us inside Even if you say you see the end, even if you say it’ll collapse soon A house made of cards, and stupidly, us Even if you say it’s a useless dream, just stay a little more like this

looking at the chorus, it kinda reinstates the messages that bangtan wants to bring across

내일이란 게 없듯이 다음이란 건 없듯이 지금 내겐 눈 앞에 너를 뺀 모든 게 지독히 깜깜한 어둠이지 입버릇처럼 말해 우린 결국엔 안 돼 그래도 난 계속 바래 마지막도 너와 함께라면 I’m okay

=

Like there’s no tomorrow Like there’s no next time Everything that you’ve done in front of my eyes It’s a complete darkness Say it like you mean it In the end, we can’t make it Even so, I keep hoping Even at the end, if you’re with me, I’m okay

but this interesting ‘bridge’, it shows this undying love, even if it was meant to collapse. but the person being there was enough to keep him at peace. 

시간을 Slow down 조금만 더, 머물러 줘 oh Please Baby. Calm down 조금만 더

=

Slow down the time Please stay just for a little more oh Please Baby. Calm down Just a little more

what i love is this breakdown before the song ends, possibly the actual bridge of the song. i love how the vocals shine more here and emphasis is placed more on the lyrics. 

Reference: Colour Coded ©

last thoughts: if you actually look at this closely, most of the songs in this album talk about love, more like love from the youths. yet certain songs criticising social structures are still prominent here. overall, i really love how this outro kinda wraps up the whole more daring side of the youth that bangtan hopes to bring across and did it very well in the end. 

[Photo Source] Bighit Entertainment  Credits: maxine ☕️ DO NOT REPOST ©