#wait fuck i just wrote a haiku

[kstormcursed]

marching with the squad

dark-eyed people seem pissed off

who shall i protect

[theres-a-body-here]

Recieving a love letter

Part two

You decided that the best time to give it to them (pause) is during a trial

Characters: Oni, Trapper, Deathslinger, Mastermind, Cannibal, Ghostface Warnings: Internalized Homophobia, Death, some spice Male!reader

The Oni - Kazan Yamaoka

Impossible... You're both men

Kazan cannot accept this

This simply wasn't acceptable during his era

He immediately smashes your head in with his Kanabo on instinct

Gay panic defense

The evil has been dealt with, Kazan lets out a deep exhale

But...his eyes wander to the letter, still within your cold, stiff grasp

Advantages come from all angles... Don't they?

Kazan takes the letter, convincing himself he'll use whatever information he finds inside against you

It smells like you... Not that he checked

(He did)

A red wax seal holds the letter closed

Kazan looks closer

You had carved his family crest into the wax

Something foreign invades his body, something other than rage

It's nervousness

He opens the letter, making sure to keep the seal intact

For no reason in particular

(He's pocketing that mofo)

Instantly, he's impressed by your penmanship

So organized, clean, and sharp

But its contents are even more eye catching

The love letter is short and sweet

But what follows is even sweeter

A haiku

Kazan feels his heart skip a beat

He checks it once, then again, and one more for good measure

Yep, no mistakes

The loud pop of a gen echoes through the trialground, snapping him out of his trance

Kazan whips his head all around, looking for witnesses

Finding none, he pockets the letter

He stares at your lifeless body, feeling something else flutter in his chest

Guilt

The Trapper - Evan MacMillan

Evan stares at you as you hold your letter out for him to take

After a long, uncomfortable silence, he takes it

He brings it to his face, inspecting it through the holes of his mask

Evan has absolutely no idea what to do here

He looks back at you

"Do you...want me to fuck you?"

Romantic gestures are new territories for Evan, so he honestly thinks this is just your way of asking for dick

Whichever the case, he has a job to do

He puts you down without hesitation and hooks you up, leaving without a second glance

He's still holding the letter

Part of him wants to rip it up, and the other is curious to know what you wrote

He sloppily tears the letter open, reading it hastily as he walks to the next gen

Evan stops when he reads a bit more

You weren't asking for a ball slapping, eye watering, toe curling, deep dick fuck...

You were asking for his heart

You wanted all of him, hooks and all

Okay now he feels a bit bad

Evan reads some more

You actually drew a portrait of him within the letter, saying you learnt of his knack for art from Philip

Now he feels even worse

He lets the others save you without hiccup

In fact, he basically leaves for alone for the rest of the trial

He stops chasing and hurting the others occasionally to stare at you from afar, observing that focused look on your face as you work on gens or heal a teammate

Evan feels butterflies and he no longer has the strength to swat at them

It doesn't matter if he kills all your friends or if they opened the gates and left; Eventually, you're alone with him

He holds your letter out, watching as confusion sets on your face

"I'm dirty and sloppy... I'll ruin it"

He sounds vulnerable, waiting for you to respond

You curl your hand over his, folding the letter into his palm

"I want you to keep it," you say softly, as of talking to an apprehensive deer

He doesn't know what to say

Whatever he was going to respond with gets stuck in his throat as you lean in to kiss the cheek of his mask

He watches as you leave through the exit gate, glancing down at the letter in his hand

The Deathslinger - Caleb Quinn

Obviously you're joking... Right?

Cuz there's no way you'd be attracted to someone like him— Old, beat-up, and grumpy

You'd have to push him some more if you want him to accept the letter

Convince him you're being genuine

Eventually, he gives in and takes the letter from you

He glances around nervously, like he's expecting the other survivors to jump out and laugh at him for falling for the joke

He opens the letter, stunned when he sees there's actually things written inside

A blush creeps into his face as he reads, only deepening when he reads more

After he's done, Caleb can't even meet your gaze

After a few moments of silence, he speaks

"I can.....uhhh....keep this... right?"

Talk about awk as hell

Even after the trial, he lies awake thinking about it

Caleb rereads the letter over and over

You're gonna have to be the one to seek him out outside of trials since he's way too embarrassed now

"Yer serious 'bout this, ain'tcha?"

He decides to let his guard down just a bit to let you in

Be prepared to give him lots of reassurance

"Yer sure ya ain't mistaken?"

Caleb isn't one for words, so instead of writing you a letter, he makes you trinkets out of scrap metal

If you kiss him as thanks, he'll actually die on the spot

So please don't... unless you're evil as hell

The Mastermind - Albert Wesker

Wesker makes you kneel as you give him the letter

After snatching it out of your hands, he scans it meticulously

"I see you've made eleven spelling mistakes"

He enjoys the way you tense up instantly, like a puppy waiting to be put on punishment

"How adorable"

He ALLOWS you to watch him put the letter in his inner coat pocket

He would never admit it, but this certainly boosted his ego to new heights

Albert lifts you off the ground and tosses you over his shoulder

He carries you to the basement

"Stay here while I deal with your companions"

He leaves to kill the rest of your friends

After every hook, he pats his chest to make sure the letter is still there

He'll deny he ever did that if you ask him though

Once he returns, Wesker will bombard you with questions, expecting an answer within 5 seconds or less

What took you so long? What do you like most about him? Would you choose him over your friends? How can you satisfy him?

He loves how easily you crumble under his interrogation, blushing and stammering like a fool

Once he's had his fill, he picks you up again

He carries you to hatch

Before he lets you go, he grips your chin and makes you look at him

"I suppose I ought to leave you with something"

Wesker reaches into his coat and pulls out a pair of sunglasses

"I hope you can explain this to your allies," he chuckles

Before you can protest, he puts them on you and drops you into the hole

The Cannibal - Bubba Sawyer

Freezes in place and gasps when he sees you hold out your letter

He lets out a happy squeal before dropping his hammer and chainsaw to the ground

Bubba takes the letter from you gently, treating it like glass

He immediately plops onto the ground

He tears open the envelope carefully and take out the letter

He's completely forgotten about the trial

He reads the letter, shaking with excitement

It's sappy, sweet, and everything he's ever wanted

Even when the sounds of popping generators ring through the trial grounds, Bubba doesn't take his eyes off the letter for a second

He occasionally stops reading to either make a sound of happiness or cover his face out of embarrassment

Once he's finished, Bubba will stand up and pull you into a bone-crushing hug, lifting you up a bit and swaying you around like a ragdoll

You're definitely leaving this trial unharmed

He grabs your hand tightly, marching over to the hatch or exit gates and lets you leave with a goofy wave

The Entity doesn't even punish him for it since his joy was so great it made up for the lack of bad emotions from the survivors

He immediately works on writing a letter for you after the trial is over

The next time you see him, expect another bear hug followed by a letter being shoved in your face

It's messy, sticky, and covered in glitter

Crudely drawn hearts cover the inside as the letters are shaky and almost intelligible

But you can tell Bubba put his whole heart into it

The Ghostface - Danny Johnson

Instantly smug as hell

"Oh, what's that? That for me?"

He takes it from you and immediately tears it open, tossing the envelope behind him nonchalantly

His mask moves as he visibly reads through the letter, occasionally chuckling and shaking his head

Danny finds this scenario so fucking funny— A survivor having a crush on a killer

After he's done, he looks up at you

"Do you have daddy issues or something?'

He laughs loudly when he sees a hurt expression flash across your face, walking over to wrap an arm around your shoulders

"I'm just messing with ya, cutie"

Danny marches over with his head high to one of the hooked survivors, waving the letter in their face

You stand to the side awkwardly, unable to meet your friend's bewildered look

"Your homeboy is down bad for me. Whaddya think about that?"

The survivor grits their teeth struggling to keep the Entity's claw from puncturing their chest

"I think....Gah!...they.... have daddy issues...fuck!"

"THATS WHAT I SAID!"

You're never living this down

He goes around the map showing off your love letter to the others

After he finishes gloating, Danny hooks you

What? He's the Entity's favorite! He can't his reputation be tarnished

Outside of the trial, he follows you around like a shadow

He deadass interrupts your conversations with the others to tell you he wants attention, and you'd better deliver

Your love letter was basically an invitation for him to claim you as his own, whether you regret it or not

You're his now

Like a housecat that swats at others who get too close to their owner

"That kiss factory better be open, pookie"

He says shit like this in front of any survivor or killer

[izzy-positive]

For Izzy & Crew event / Wee John week / "hobby" day, I present to you: Izzy Hands, trying in vain to understand knitting. I did not know what to do for this event. I have no creativity in my body at this time. So I wrote a haiku! (which hasn't happened since, um, *mumbles*)

Who makes their own clothes from string and a pair of sticks? You could just steal some.

"You mean to tell me, that ball of yarn is going to turn into a shirt. A shirt?? You could scrape every barnacle off the ship, wait for them to collect again, and then scrape it clean once more, in the time it took you to make a fookin' shirt.

Fucking hell. Anything to get out of work..."

I love the idea of Izzy beginning to take interest in the things the crew's doing around him, a la Calypso's Birthday and "the fuck's a look?"

This man who has been pointed straight ahead at the target his entire life... suddenly realizing he can slow down, take a breath, look around, and there's things going on that - if he wants - he can participate in. He can question, he can investigate, he can learn about. At the very least, he can mock them for being a fookin' waste of time. (which, lets be honest here, is Izzy's hobby)

<3

[army-of-mai-lovers]

Jet and Yue’s Deaths: Were They Necessary?

Two of the most common ideas I see for aus in this fandom are the Jet lives au, and the Yue lives au. I’ve written both of these myself, and I’ve seen many others write them. And while yes, fanfiction can be a great way to explore ideas that didn’t necessarily have to be explored in canon (I’m mad at bryke for a lot of things, but not including a Toph and Bumi I friendship is not one of them, even though I wrote a fic about it), it seems to me that people are mad that Yue and Jet are dead, to varying degrees. There’s a lot to talk about regarding their deaths from a sociopolitical perspective (the fact that two of the darker-skinned characters in the show are the ones that died, and all the light-skinned characters lived, is ah... an interesting choice), but I don’t want to look at it that way, at least for right now. I want to look at it as a writer, and discuss whether these deaths were a) necessary for the plot and themes of ATLA in any way whatsoever and b) whether it was necessary for them to unfold in the way that they did, or if they would have been more impactful had they occurred in a different way. 

(meta under the cut, this got really, really, really long)

Death in Children’s Media

When I first started thinking about this meta, I had this idea to compare Jet and Yue’s deaths to deaths in an animated children’s show that I found satisfying. And in theory, that was a great idea. Problem is: there aren’t very many permanent deaths in children’s animation, and the ones that do exist aren’t especially well-written. This may be an odd thing to say in what is ostensibly a piece of atla crit, but Yue’s death is probably the best written death in a piece of children’s animation that I can think of. That’s not a compliment. Rather, it’s a condemnation of the way other pieces of children’s animation featuring permanent character death have handled their storylines. 

I’ve talked about this before, but my favorite show growing up was Young Justice, and my favorite character on that show was far and away Mr. Wally West. So when he died at the end of season 2, it broke me emotionally. Shortly thereafter, Cartoon Network canceled the show, and I started getting on fan forums to mourn. Everybody on these fan forums was convinced that had Cartoon Network not canceled the show, Wally would have been brought back. And that is a narrative that I internalized for years. Eventually, the show was brought back via DC’s new streaming service, and I tuned in, waiting for Wally to also be brought back, only to discover that that wasn’t in the cards. Wally was dead. Permanently. 

So now that I know that, I can talk about why killing him off was fucking stupid. Wally’s death occurs at the end of season 2, after the main s2 conflict, the Reach, has been defeated, save for these pods that they set up all over the world to destroy Earth. Our heroes split up in teams of two to destroy the pods, and they destroy all of them, except for a secret one in Antartica. It can only be neutralized by speedsters, so Wally, Bart, and Barry team up to destroy it. It’s established in canon that Wally is slower than Bart and Barry, and it’s been played for laughs earlier in the season, but for reasons unexplained, the pod is better able to target Wally because he’s slower than Bart and Barry, and it kills him. After the emotional arc of the season has wrapped up, a literal main character dies. There’s some indication at the end of that season that his death is going to cause Artemis to spiral and become a villain, but when season 3 picks up, she’s doing the right thing, with seemingly no qualms about her position in life as a hero. In the comics, something like this happens to Wally, but then he goes into the Speed Force and becomes faster and stronger even than Barry, in which case, yes, this would have advanced the plot, but that’s probably not in the cards either. 

In summary, Wally’s death doesn’t work as a story beat, not because it made me mad, but because it doesn’t advance the plot, nor does it develop character. Only including things that advance plot or develop character is one of the golden rules of writing. Like most golden rules of writing, however, it’s not absolute. There is a lot of fun to be had in jokey little one off adventures (in atla, Sokka’s haiku competition) or in fun worldbuilding threads that add depth to your setting but don’t really come up (in atla, the existence of Whaletail Island, which is described in really juicy ways, even though the characters never go there.) But in general, when it comes to things like character death, events should happen to develop the plot or advance character. Avatar, for all of its flaws, is really well structured, and a lot of its story beats advance plot and develop character at the same time. However, the show also bears the burden of being a show directed at children, and thus needing to be appropriate for children. And as we know, Nickelodeon and bryke butted heads over this: the death scene that we see for Jet is a compromise, one that implicitly confirms his death without explicitly showing it. So bryke tasked themselves with creating a show about imperialism and war that would do those themes justice while also being appropriate for American children and palatable to their parents. 

The Themes of Avatar vs. Its Audience

So, Avatar is a show about a lone survivor of genocide stopping an imperialist patriarchal society from decimating the rest of the world. It’s also a show about found family and staying true to yourself and doing your best to improve the world. These don’t necessarily conflict with each other, and it is possible for children to understand and enjoy shows about complex themes. And in a lot of cases, bryke doesn’t hold back in showing what the costs of war against an imperialist nation are: losing loved ones, losing yourself, prison, etc. But when it comes to death, the show is incredibly hesitant. None of the main characters that we’ve spent a lot of time getting to know die (not even Iroh, even though he was old and it would have made sense and his VA died before the show was over--but that’s a topic for another day.) This makes sense. I can totally imagine a seven year-old watching Avatar as it was coming out and feeling really sad or scared if a major character died. I was six years older than that when Wally died, and it’s still sad and terrifying to me to this day. However, in a show about war, it would be unrealistic to have no one die. Bryke’s stated reason for killing off Jet is to show the costs of war. I’ve seen a lot of posts about Jet’s death that reiterate some version of this same point--that the great tragedy of his character is that he spent his life fighting the Fire Nation, only to die at the hands of his own country. Similarly, I’ve seen people argue in favor of Yue’s death by saying that it was a great tragedy, but it showed the sacrifices that must be made in a war effort. 

Yue

When we first meet Yue, she is a somewhat reserved, kind individual held back by the rigid social structures of the NWT*. She and Sokka have an immediate attraction to one another, but Yue reveals that she is engaged to Hahn. The Fire Nation invasion happens, Zhao kills Tui, and Yue gives up her life to save her people and the world, and to restore balance. Since we didn’t have a lot of time to get to know Yue, this is framed less as Yue’s sacrifice and more as Sokka’s loss. Sokka is the one who cares for Yue, Sokka is the only one of the gaang who really interacts a lot with Yue on screen, and Sokka is the one we’ve spent a whole season getting to know. While I wouldn’t go so far as to call Yue a prop character (i.e. a character who could be replaced by an object with little change to the narrative), she is certainly underdeveloped. She exists to be unambiguously likable and good, so we can root for her and Sokka, and feel Sokka’s pain when she dies. In my opinion, this is probably also why a lot of fic that features Yue depicts her as a Mary Sue--because as she is depicted in the show, she kind of is. We don’t get to see her hidden depths because she is written to die. 

In light of what we’ve established earlier in this meta, this makes sense. Killing off a fully-realized character whom the audience has really gotten to know and care about on their own terms, rather than through the eyes of another character, could be really sad and scary for the kids watching, but not killing anyone off would be an unrealistic depiction of war and imperialism. On the face of it, killing off an underdeveloped, unambiguously likable and good character, whom one of our MCs has a deep but short connection with, is the perfect compromise. 

But let’s go back to the golden rule for a second. Does Yue’s death a) advance the plot, and/or b) develop character? The answer to the first is yes: Yue’s death prompts Aang to use the Avatar State to fight off the Fire navy, which has implications for his ability to control the Avatar State that form one of the major arcs of book 2. The answer to the second? A little more ambiguous. You would think that Yue’s death would have some lasting impact on Sokka that is explored as part of his character arc in book 2, that he may be more afraid to trust, more scared of losing the people he loves, but outside of a few episodes (really, just one I can think of, “The Swamp”) it doesn’t seem to affect him that much. He even asks about Suki in a way that is clearly romantically motivated in “Avatar Day.” I don’t know about you, but if someone I loved sacrificed herself to become the moon, I don’t think I would be seeking out another romantic entanglement a few weeks after her death. Of course, everybody processes grief differently, and one could argue that Sokka has already lost important people in his life, and thus would be accustomed to moving on from that loss and not letting himself dwell on it. But to that, I’d say that moving on by throwing himself into protecting others has already shown itself to be an unhealthy coping mechanism. Remember, Sokka’s misogyny at the beginning of b1 is in part motivated by the fact that his mother died at the hands of the Fire Nation and his father left shortly thereafter to fight the Fire Nation, and he responds to those things by throwing himself into the role of being the “man” of the village and protecting the people he loves who are still with him. Like with Yue, he doesn’t allow himself to dwell on his mother’s death. This could have been the beginning of a really interesting b2 arc for Sokka, in which he throws himself into being the Avatar’s companion to get away from the grief of losing Yue, but this time, through the events of the show, he’s forced to acknowledge that this is an unhealthy coping mechanism. And maybe this is what bryke was going for with “The Swamp”, but this confines his whole process of grief to one episode, where it could have been a season-long arc that really emphasized the effect Yue’s had on his life. 

In the case of Yue, I do lean toward saying that her death was necessary for the story that they wanted to tell (although, I will never turn down a good old-fashioned Yue lives au that really gets into her dynamism as a character, those are awesome.) However, the way they wrote Sokka following Yue’s death reduced her significance. The fact that Yue seemed to have so little impact on Sokka is precisely what makes her death feel unnecessary, even if it isn’t. 

Jet

Okay. Here we go. 

If you know my blog, you know I love Jet. You know I love Jet lives aus. Perhaps you know that I’m in the process of writing a multichapter Jet fic in which he lives after Lake Laogai. So it’s reasonable to assume that, in a discussion of whether or not Jet’s death was necessary, I’m gonna be mega-biased. And yeah, that’s probably true. But up until recently, I wasn’t really all that mad about Jet dying, at least conceptually. As I said earlier, bryke says that in the case of Jet’s death, they wanted to kill a character off that people knew and would care about, so that they could further show the tragedies of war and imperialism. Okay. That is not, in and of itself, a bad idea. 

My issue lies with the execution of said idea. First of all, the framing of Jet’s original episode is so bad. Jet is part of a long line of cartoon villains who resist imperialism and other forms of oppression through violence and are punished for it. This is actually a really common sort of villain for atla/lok, as we see this play out again with Hama, Amon, and the Red Lotus. To paraphrase hbomberguy’s description of this type of villain, basically liberal white creators are saying, “yeah, oppression is bad, but have you tried writing to your Congressman about it?” With Jet, since we have so little information about the village he’s trying to flood, there are a number of different angles that would explain his actions and give them more nuance. My preferred hc is that the citizens of Gaipan are a mix of Earth civilians, Fire citizens, and FN soldiers, and that the Earth citizens refused to feed or house Jet and the other Freedom Fighters because they were orphans and, as we see in the Kyoshi Novels, Earth families stick to their own. Thus, when Jet decides to flood Gaipan, he’s focused on ridding the valley of Fire Nation, but he doesn’t really care about what happens to the Earth citizens of Gaipan because they actively wronged him when he was a kid. That’s just one interpretation, and there have been others: Gaipan was fully Fire Nation, Gaipan was both Earth Kingdom and Fire Nation but Jet decided that the benefits of flooding the valley and getting rid of the Fire Nation outweighed the costs of losing the EK families, etc, etc. There are ways to rewrite that scenario so that Jet is not framed as an unambiguously bloodthirsty monster. In the context of Jet’s death, this initial framing reduces the possible impact that his death could have. Where Yue was unambiguously good, Jet is at the very least morally gray when we see him again in the ferry. And where we are connected to Yue through Sokka, the gaang’s active hatred of Jet hinders our ability to connect with him. This isn’t impossible to overcome--the gaang hates Zuko, and yet to an extent the audience roots for him--but Jet’s lack of screentime and nuanced framing (both of which Zuko gets in all three seasons) makes overcoming his initially flawed framing really difficult. 

So how much can it really be said, that by the time we get to Jet’s death, he’s a character that we know and care about? So much about him is still unknown (what happened to the Freedom Fighters? what prompted Jet’s offscreen redemption? who knows, fam, who knows.) Moreover, most of what we see of him in Ba Sing Se is him actively opposing Zuko and Iroh. These are both characters that at the very least the show wants us to care about. At this point, we know almost everything there is to know about them, we’ve been following them and to an extent rooting for them for two seasons, and who have had nuanced and often sympathetic framing a number of times. So much of the argument I’ve seen regarding Jet centers around the fact that he was right to expose Zuko and Iroh as Firebenders, but the reason we have to have that argument in the first place is because it’s not framed in Jet’s favor. In terms of who the audience cares about more, who the audience has more of an emotional attachment towards, Zuko and Iroh win every time. Whether Jet’s actually in the right or not is irrelevant, because emotionally speaking, we’re primed to root for Zuko and Iroh. In terms of who the framing is biased towards, Jet may as well be Zhao. So when he’s taken by the Dai Li and brainwashed, the audience isn’t necessarily going to see this as a bad thing, because it means Zuko and Iroh are safe.

The only real bit of sympathetic framing Jet gets are those initial moments on the ferry, and the moments after he and the gaang meet again. So about five, ten minutes of the show, total. And then, he sacrifices himself for the gaang. And just like Yue, his death has little to no impact on the characters in the episodes following. Katara is shown crying for four frames immediately following his death, and they bring him up once in “The Southern Raiders” to call him a monster, and once in “The Ember Island Players”, a joke episode in which his death is a joke. 

So, let’s ask again. Does this a) advance the plot, and/or b) develop character? The answer to both is no. It shows that the Dai Li is super evil and cruel, which we already knew and which basically becomes irrelevant in book 3, and that is really the only plot-significant thing I can think of. As far as character, well, it could have been a really interesting moment in Katara’s development in forgiving someone who hurt her in the past, which could have foreshadowed her forgiving Zuko in b3, but considering she calls Jet a monster in TSR, that doesn’t track. There could have been something with Sokka realizing that his snap judgment of Jet in b1 was wrong, but considering that he brings up Jet to criticize Katara in TSR, that also does not track. And honestly, neither of these possible character arcs require Jet to die. What requires Jet to die is the ~themes~. 

Let’s look at this theme again, shall we? The cost of war. We already covered it with Yue, but it’s clearly something that bryke wants to return to and shed new light on. The obvious angle they’re going for is that sometimes, you don’t know who your real enemy is. Jet thought that his enemy was the Fire Nation, but in the end, he was taken down by his own countryman. Wow. So deep. Except, while it’s clear that Jet was always fighting against the Fire Nation, I never got the sense that Jet was fighting for the Earth Kingdom. After all, isn’t the whole bad thing about him in the beginning is that he wants to kill civilians, some of whom we assume to be Earth Kingdom? Why would it matter then that he got killed by an EK leader, when he didn’t seem to ever be too hot on those dudes? But okay, maybe the angle is not that he was killed by someone from the Earth Kingdom, but that he wasn’t killed by someone from the Fire Nation. Okay, but we’ve already seen him be diametrically opposed to the only living Air Nomad and people from the Water Tribes. Jet fighting with and losing to people who aren’t Fire Nation is not a new and exciting development for him. Jet has been enemies with non-FN characters for most of the show’s run at this point. There is no thematic level on which the execution of this holds any water. 

The reason I got to thinking about this, really analyzing what Jet’s death means (and doesn’t mean) for the show, was this conversation I was having with @the-hot-zone in discord dms. We were talking about book 2 and ways it could have been better, and Zone said that they thought that Jet would have been a stronger character to parallel with Zuko’s redemption than Iroh and that seeing more of the narrative from Jet’s perspective could have strengthened the show’s themes. And when it came to the question of Jet’s death, they said, “And if we are going with Jet dying, then I want it to hurt. I want it to hurt just as much as if a main character like Sokka had died. I want the viewer to see Jet's struggles, his triumphs, the facets of Jet that make him compelling and important to the show.” And all of that just hit me. Because we don’t get that, do we? Jet’s death barely leaves a mark. Jet himself barely leaves a mark. His death isn’t plot-significant, doesn’t inspire character growth in any of our MCs, and doesn’t even accomplish the thematic relevance that it claims to. So what was the point? 

Conclusion

Much as I dislike it, Yue’s death actually added something to atla. It could have added much, much more, in the hands of writers who gave more of a shit about their Brown female characters and were less intent on seeing them suffer and knocking them down a peg, but, in my opinion, it did work for what it was trying to do. Jet? Jet? Nah, fam. Jet never got the chance to really develop into a likable character because he was always put at odds with characters we already liked, and the framing skewed their way, not his. The dude never really had a chance.        

*multiple people have spoken about how the NWT as depicted in atla is not reminiscent of real life Inuit and Yupik people and culture. I am not the person to go into detail about this, but I encourage you to check out Native-run blogs for more info!

[i-am-a-meat-popcicle]

A short series of haikus I wrote in my first playthough of borderlands 2 as Zer0

Help me I’ve fallen!/ Then I’ll shoot- crap no ammo./ I guess I’ll just die

My prey has just died/ I have lost my second wind/ Fuck you Mordecai

I can’t count those nests./Spiderants by the thousands?/ Fuck that shit, I’m out.

They just keep spawning.../ Fucking Varkids everywhere!/ FUCK CAUSTIC CAVERNS 

I killed Jack’s girlfriend/ there’s a new sheriff in town/ you’re all my bitches.

Bonus: Sparked from conversations with my best friend.

Something is missing/ Mordecai’s ass isn’t there/ oh wait, it’s his head

So, this is an ass./ It is a thing of beauty/ I want to touch it.

[actualbird]

🥺🥺 omg ive been thinking abt ur longdistance michael in the phillipines bmc fic for Years...... please if u have an ending/more content/any thoughts do share!! i havent been into bmc for a long time but that fic just pops into my head all the time its the quintessential bffs to lovers (god i HOPE) experience

michaelmeal Today at 8: 04 PM i think we’re lost

michaelmeal Today at 8:46 PM oh man

michaelmeal Today at 8:55 PM gps is FUCKED says we’re INSIDE the mountains and that roads are FAKE

michaelmeal Today at 9:06 PM oh hey that was kinda a haiku

michaelmeal Today at 9:40 PM mom just went full spooky and talked about how we’re being tricked by a kapre which is basically a big dude that lives in a tree and smokes and messes w/ people if he feels like it what kinda goals except he likes making travellers get lost and we’re the travellers he’s messing with which is not goals it is i just broke my brain trying to think of the opposite of goal dark goal

michaelmeal Today at 10:12 PM 11:11 MAKE A WISH I HOPE WE DONT DIE FUCK goddamn slowest internet speed in asia

michaelmeal Today at 10:30 PM the view is great tho image.jpg

michaelmeal Today at 10:51 PM not only did my wish come true via the gps finally bucking up and telling us we exist again but we just passed by this shop thing and sjfdhfkjdsf wait it’s best if youre online im a patient boy i can wait maybe

michaelmeal Today at 11:18 PM hey uh lord i dont talk to you anymore but please make my dad stop using big probably fake color words while we play i spy amen and rock on SARCOLINE??????

michaelmeal Today at 11:32 PM i see the ocean!!!!!!!

michaelmeal Today at 11:40 PM we fuckin did it image.jpg

juruhmuh Today at 4:33 AM Glad you didn’t get lost forever! And shit those pictures look lovely.

michaelmeal Today at 4:38 AM why in the FUCK are u awake rn

juruhmuh Today at 4:39 AM Hello would’ve been nice :/

michaelmeal Today at 4:39 AM do i look like a normie to u kidding kidding hello jeremy good morning jeremy you are the light of my life jeremy why in the fuck are you awake rn jeremy

juruhmuh Today at 4:40 AM Sdgdhfsdhfshd I took a nap. That just ended up as regular sleep.   So now I’m awake because I’ve lost control of my life.

michaelmeal Today at 4:40 AM hey waking up early is a good marker of people who do have control over their life also eating a fruit at breakfast or something and yoga

juruhmuh Today at 4:42 AM You sound like an article a mother of six wrote.

michaelmeal Today at 4:42 AM i am a mother of six the gang is my children

juruhmuh Today at 4:42 AM SGFJSDHFJH. There’s seven of us tho?

michaelmeal Today at 4:43 AM i didnt include you doofus thatd be weird on like a billion different levels

juruhmuh Today at 4:43 AM For some reason you have a point. How’s the beach?

michaelmeal Today at 4:44 AM AWESOME like the waves arent huge or anything but u can still surf and it’s fuuuuuuun dude it wouldve been really fun if you came like you’d get hella sunburn and become a peely tomato but itd still be fun

juruhmuh Today at 4:44 AM It’s not fun when you’re the one with the sunburn, Michael!!!

michaelmeal Today at 4:45 AM PEELY TOMATO

juruhmuh Today at 4:45 AM Unfriended.

michaelmeal Today at 4:47 AM :’( image.jpg

juruhmuh Today at 4:51 AM Well, you’re definitely shirtless.

michaelmeal Today at 4:52 AM oh thank god just when i was worried you couldnt see

juruhmuh Today at 4:52 AM Put. A shirt on.

---

thats  what else i managed to write of always toward!!! as for the ending of the fic, because this was a chatfic, i sadly didnt outline the plot very extensively. but here is what i have written down for chapters 2 and 3 anyway

i hope this helps, anon!

[denbrough-byers]

Perfect For Me 《Stan Uris x Reader》

Requested : For my friend @icannott who requested a Stan Uris fanfiction

Pairing : Stan Uris x Reader ; Platonic!Ben Hanscom x Platonic!Reader ; Ben Hanscom x Beverly Marsh (mentioned)

TW : Cursing

Summary : After an incident that caused you to spend your day talking about soulmates with Ben — something you took interest in — and teasing each other about your respective crushes, you started to wonder about what Stan thought about ‘being made for someone’. When you met Stan you questioned him about his point of view about being made for each other and while his answer was something you expected — logical and not emotional. But what shocked you was his other answer.

A/N : thIS IS THE SEVENTH TIME AND I SWEAR TO GOD—

filter credit to @/pclarrs on instagram ; image credit to the people of Pinterest ; edit by me

“Holy fucking shit!”

The door of the clubhouse swung open, causing both you and Ben to scream — while yours were a string of curses, his was a simple yelp. You both weren’t aware of the other and it shocked you both to the core. Upon realization, the two of you laughed as you stepped into the clubhouse.

“You scared me there [Y/N],” the boy laughed.

You grinned sheepishly as you made your way deeper into the clubhouse. Your eyes watched Ben carefully and his eyes widened as he realized what you were looking at. His face flushed as he tried to hide the paper but you had seen it and — thanks to your ability to memorize things quickly — had it in your head

“Eyes like the ocean / Enchanting and dangerous / Beauty lies within it//,” you read out loud. You looked up at the very much embarrassed Ben. “That is a good haiku Ben.”

“Thanks,” Ben mumbled. He turned and shoved the paper into his bag. Looking at you, he was greeted not with a face that was going to laugh at him but rather one deep in thought.

“But I think them would fit better than it,” you pointed out, “Since it’s eyes and not eye.”

Ben pulled the paper out and read it, mumbling under his breath. “Eyes like the ocean / Enchanting and dangerous / Beauty lies within them//”

You look at him expectantly, wondering what he would do next. He stayed silent for a while before nodding and crossing it out, placing them where it used to be. You grinned proudly.

“Thanks [Y/N],” Ben said gratefully.

“Anytime Ben.”

An awkward silence fell between you two once again as you both wrecked your brain, looking for a topic to talk about. Ben and you had never been so good at talking and socializing.

“You never told me you wrote Haikus Ben,” you said, breaking the silence.

Ben shrugged. “It’s nothing much. I just like to get things out of my head. I mean, it’s not like it’s good anyway.”

“They’re brilliant Ben!” You pointed at the paper in his hands. “It’s talent!”

Ben turned and smiled. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

Silence fell once again but this time it wasn’t awkward like the previous silence but rather a peaceful one. A comfortable one.

A thought came to you. “Who was that for Ben?”

Ben turned red and stayed silent. You looked at his face and smiled knowingly. You had suspicions that Ben liked Bev and you knew about the previous Haiku — Bev told you. It didn’t take long before you connect the dots.

“Bev.”

“I’m sorry?” Ben stuttered as he looked at the girl who sat next to him.

“It’s for Bev, isn’t it?” you asked. Ben awkwardly stammered out what was supposed to be a lie — and honestly seeing him lie confirmed your suspicion — but seeing the knowing look on your face he just sighed and admitted.

“Yeah,” Ben sighed. “It’s for Bev.”

Ben stayed silent, afraid that you’ll tell Bev and the others or maybe — God forbid — thought of him even more of a loser than he already is. He didn’t want to ruin his friendship with the rest of the Losers — you included.

“Don’t worry Ben,” you said reassuringly. “I won’t tell Bev.” Ben sighed in relief but you weren’t done.

“But…” you drawled, causing Ben to stiffen and feel anxious once again. “I’m going to need you to answer one question. Don’t worry, it’s an easy one. Will you answer?”

Ben gulped but nodded. “S-Sure [Y/N].”

“Do you think some people were made for someone else?”

Ben sighed in relief, causing you to laugh at how nervous he was. You knew that he thought you would ask him about his crush on Bev.

“Well that’s easy,” Ben replied. “I think yeah, like a missing piece you know?”

You nodded. “Like two pieces of a puzzle that fit with each other?”

“Yes, exactly like that.” Ben smiled. “I always believed in soulmates. What about you?”

“Same. I believe that everyone is meant to be with someone.” A smirk slipped onto your lips. “Like you and Bev.”

Ben turned red but did not forfeit. “Like you and Stan.”

Laughter spilled out of his lips as your face turned an embarrassing shade of red. Tears leaked out of his eyes and laughs continued to spill as you turned and looked away.

“That’s not fair!” you whined but Ben just laughed.

“I think it is,” he snorted. “You pulled a Bev card on me, it’s pretty fair if I pulled a Stan card on you.”

You huffed like a child before freezing as a thought flooded into your mind. If Ben knew, do the other Losers possibly know too?

“Who else knows?” you asked, paranoia and anxiety masking your voice. “Who else knows?”

“Just me.” Ben shifted in his seat, shrugging lightly. “Well as far as I know. The others aren’t that observant you know.”

You sighed in relief. “Thank God for that. Honestly you should too or else you’d be dead, Haystack.”

Ben nodded gratefully. “Yeah everyday I’m thankful that I’m friends with are blind when it comes to feelings — except you of course. Couldn’t let me live my life peacefully, can you?”

You laughed and shook your head. “Oh I can. I just don’t want too.”

Laughter erupted in the small clubhouse, giving them both waves of relief. Their secret were out to someone they trusted.

“You’re really cool to hang around with, Hanscom,” you noted as the laughter died.

“Back at you, [Y/L/N].” Ben fingergunned.

Silence fell in between you before you both erupted in laughter once again.

—

It slipped your notice but you spent five hours in a stuffy clubhouse laughing and talking with Ben. It was Richie and Eddie who found you guys. You always suspected the two come over at night and slept together, — they both liked to cuddle — talked and joked around but this confirmed your suspicion — this was the second time you were proven right in a romantic situation and you felt proud.

After the two — well, Richie — kicked you and Ben out, you and Ben biked home, making inappropriate jokes about the two. You were both pretty sure that they weren’t going to fuck in there but it was fun to joke about it.

You parted ways — you taking a left while Ben went straight. On your way back, you remembered about what Ben had said and started to wonder if everyone felt the same — that everyone were two pieces of a puzzle.

You wondered if Stan felt the same way.

Stopping midway to check the time — you learned that you had half an hour before curfew. Numbers made their way into your mind as your brain set on calculating the time you have. You decided that it wouldn’t take long and you’d be in and out in a flash.

You grinned as you pedalled quickly, taking a left instead of a right. Stan’s house wasn’t that far from yours distance wise but it takes time to get there when riding a bike since you had a tendency to follow the road.

31, 33, 35, 37, 39, 41!

You found his house and grinned as you wheeled over towards his garage. Dropping your bike at the porch, you quickly knocked on the door, harsh and loud — the way you always did. You were greeted by the usual tuff of brown hair as the door swung open.

His expression was annoyed but when he saw you his face lit up. “Hey [Y/N], what’s up? Wait, shouldn’t you be home —?”

“I got fifteen minutes and a really important question to ask you,” you said giddily.

Stan chuckled. “Fire away my overly excited little friend.”

“Hey! I’m just two inches shorter than you!”

“Still smaller,” Stan laughed. His laughter sent a whole new wave of fresh butterflies into your stomach, causing your heart rate to speed up.

“Do you think some people were made for each other?” you asked.

Stan stayed silent for a few seconds. “No. People aren’t made for others. You exist for yourself, and you don’t owe anything to anyone. Even to those you were made for.”

You nodded weakly, trying not to feel sad. You knew that Stan had always been logical and never really thought of things in a mushy emotional way.

“Yeah,” you mumbled. “Thanks for the answer.”

You turned to bike back home when you felt a warm hand on your shoulder. Turning around, you were met by a smirking Stan — and honestly you felt chills down your spine as you notice how hot and dominating he looked and tried your best not to blush. He stepped closer, his hand still on your shoulder.

“[Y/N], you didn’t let me finish.” He leaned in and whispered, “But I think that you, my love, are the one perfect for me.”

Feeling heat rush to your cheeks, you tried to look down but felt a hand on your chin, making you look at Stan. His brown eyes flicked down to your lips before returning to your eyes.

“Do you think so too, [Y/N]?” he whispered. You didn’t reply as you were frozen under his gaze. He leaned forward and captured your lips in his. You were frozen in place and it took you awhile to let it sink.

Stan Uris — your lifetime crush —was kissing you, and you were doing absolutely nothing.

Your lips moved in sync with his, carefully and lovingly. His hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. Warmth radiated off of him as you pulled him in by wrapping your arms around his neck.

The two of you pulled away, your breaths short and shallow as you tried to replace the lack of oxygen in your body. Your forehead still against his, you smiled softly as your fingers played with his soft curly hair.

“I might not believe in being made for each other,” Stan whispered, his voice husky from the kiss. “But I do believe that you’re perfect for me. Do you think so too, [Y/N]?”

“I do, Stan Uris. I do.”

— Extra

“Shit, I gotta go home.” You gave a small peck on Stan’s cheek and rushed to your bike.

“Hey, [Y/N],” Stan called out. “Before you go I need to ask you something.”

“Better make it quick, Uris,” you said, looking back. “My mom’s going to murder me.”

Stan flashed his smirk once again. “Want to be my girlfriend, [Y/L/N]?”

You froze. This was your dream ever since you were old enough to know about dating and crushes. Now the moment came and you couldn’t do anything about it.

“What do you say love?” The boy shoved his hands into his pocket, tilting his head backwards slightly as he stepped over to you. “Shall we tell the world how perfect for each other we are?”

You smiled. “With pleasure.”  

[mc-doppomine]

My Ranking of Buster Bros!!! Songs

As I’ve put with my previous posts about song rankings, this is all done in good fun. What I think slaps may be what you think sucks and vice versa. So take it with a fistful of salt. I will not include the battles as that will be on its own list. I will include BB City, Nausa du Zuiqu and Ez Do Rap for fun.

I honestly feel bad for the Buster Bros because discography wise, I actually like most of the songs. Like if they came on, I probably wouldn’t switch it off. But at the same time, they do not have many that really slap for me. Like songs I’m obsessed with. Which kinda makes me feel bad because since I usually listen over the songs while I write this, I think...yeah these songs are good. 

14) New Star - Probably the only of songs that I’d lean more towards not liking. It really made think of a middle schooler, which I guess is the point since this was Saburo’s introductory song. But you know when you find like old recording of you performing in school and you’re just like ‘oh no.’ But yeah got that feeling. Also I was like ‘man, what a little shit’ from his lyrics. Which, again, makes sense. Does not mean I had to love it. 

13) School of IKB - Maybe because it just felt like a departure from Jiro’s usual sound that threw me off. It isn’t bad by any means but I guess I wasn’t expecting it. It really is a song that says a lot about Jiro’s growth and I’m super proud of him. I will admit that the chorus confused me and I while writing this figured out that he meant ‘I wanna be a cypher that continues after sunset.’ Because the other lyrics that kept coming in between the other ‘I wanna be a...’

12) Ez Do Rap - It is catchy but probably still one more forgettable, especially since I have to go look it up if I want to listen to it. 

11) Run This City - Fallen so far but it did a good job of keeping with the series and making me think that I could get into hypmic. So thank you for your service? Honestly, weirdly I think Buster Bros is one of the crews that actually had their anime versions sound really good for the music? 

10) BB City - I don’t know how all these extra songs end up having this energy of like just feel good and fun? I thought the subject was funny more than anything. Especially since they go so into their pettiness, they forgot the real goal here. It reminds me of another song but I cannot think of what it is. 

9) Ikebukuro West Game Park - This one actually hits pretty hard. Especially the break down near the end. I just had stronger feelings for the ones above it. I don’t mind the callbacks but I think i have to be in a mood with it though. Still thinking about the beatboxing though. 

8) Re:start!!! - I feel so bad that this is where it is but it’s primarily because of just liking fast over slow. But it is such an important song. Like for all that it is. Like this is a song where Jiro is actually the one supporting the entire song when normally it is Ichiro doing so. Like it is proof of him trying to be his own man and yet he is still a loving brother. And ah, I’m just crying over how they remain so strong together (and all these crews need to stop bullying them just because their (sibling) relationships are in shambles). 

7) Ore Ga Ichiro - Honestly think this one and number six could be switched around dependent on what kind of ‘I’m coming to kick your ass’ I felt like being that day. I actually remember it’s small feature in the anime. And it had given me hope for the music of the whole thing (it was half right). And honestly it really does tell you about everything about Ichiro with one song. And I honestly feel a little...proud? Like this sounds more like him than his TDD self. 

6) This Means War - Eyo my name is Jiro! But no, seriously, this song sounds like the kind of thing I’d listen if I was prepping to go fight someone. And Jiro’s words are so intense and take no prisoners about it. Plus instrumental??? Also intense, I love it. 

5) Requiem - Okay so this song was set up for success considering I thought Dies Irae was a banger of classical song to begin with. Add Saburo’s rap to it? Absolute banger. Sounds like a villain origin story to me. Too bad he’s like ‘but Ichi-nii would not like that.’

4) Break the Wall - Look man, they knew what they were doing when they based it off those dance songs. I personally get reminded of Earth, Wind and Fire. But yeah, it’s a good song and such a hopeful song. I am often in the back at work dancing to this song because it just has that vibe. 

3) Nausa du Zuiqu - The one song I can never spell right. But pretty high up for an insert song, huh? But yeah, I got nothing. This one, like Wrap & Rap, just gives me so a boost of seretonin. Because my first thought is ‘is this fucking Ievan polkka? Ichiro, you weeb!’ And he dragged Samatoki down with him. Then it was hilarious to find out they’re fucking go at it in a sauna while doing trivia about saunas. Like Samatoki said, ‘why do you know so much about saunas?!’ 

2) Ohayo Ikebukuro - I’m aware a lot of this is them talking but it’s also so bursting with their personalities and their dynamics. It’s ultra charming to me. Also I thought the breakdown when they’re doing haiku raps (don’t at me, that’s what they are) sounded too great considering they were just doing honestly silly haikus except Jiro. Also I was laughing because I found Ohayo Ikebukuro while writing an outline for an Ichiro/Reader and was like ‘wait, what’ when I found this talked about the kind of girl they liked. And Ichiro’s type...was kinda what I wrote for it. Guess his type is obvious, huh?

1) 3 Second Killer - I know, crazy that we get a Rhyme Anima song top the list. I had actually half forgotten this song. Like I know I thought it was fucking great even with the TV version but I didn’t listen to it because the TV version was so short. So when I found out that the Straight Outta Rhyme Anima extended all the songs, I was like ‘wait what?’ Came to this one, awesome. But it absolutely fits my love of let’s fuck shit up and being a badass vibe. Also my god, this must’ve been such a pain to record because if you look, almost every line is a different brother rapping for like the chorus. It also alternates between which and how many doing the line. And it sounds awesome! Also you hear that guitar in the fucking back? It is going ham. 

[tellmeyellme]

Bound to each other (ch.III)

genre: angst, ennemies to ???

pairing : Kuroo c reader, Bokuto x reader

WC: 1220

ch.II | Masterlist

Rain pouring down could be heard from his bedroom; there was not much surprising to it as it was late April. Kuroo was laying in his bed, facing the ceiling. Not much happened since the start of the new school year, just like not much happened during the last two terms of his second year. Oh yes, one thing happened. 

He started treating you like he treated the other team members -after all, you were their manager. He had stopped making group chats where you weren’t included. It was just a thing he did so he could hang out with the others without you, thinking it would be too awkward since you ignored each other.  Spending time around you was something he found himself enjoying. You brought some other kind of light to the group  -it almost felt surreal, felt like the sun would have stopped shining upon them if you were to disappear. Was it the way you held yourself, the way you laughed, or even the way you never hesitated to hold out a hand to anyone? 

Your group hangouts allowed him to discover a new you -whether it was the afternoons and evenings spent at the arcade, the park, at one’s house. He had grown to learn some habits of yours - the way you liked your pizza, your taste in movies, the way you could talk so passionately about your favorite authors, and how you always tried to match the color of your shoes and your shirts. And truth to be told, he quite enjoyed it, wishing he could have made you a friend. 

Discomfort seemed to always find a way to intrude itself amongst the two of you whenever you were left alone -it was barely noticeable, but it was still there. He did his best to lessen it, or even get rid of it, making sure to pay attention to even the smallest things about your body language. He had brought you a book you favorite author wrote once, told you he had read it and wished to be able to discuss it with you. “I didn’t think you would enjoy this kind of books, but thanks, that’s very considerate of you, I’ll make sure to read it by the end of the week,” you responded with the slightest smile. Considerate of him? He was no fool, he was under no illusion. He hadn’t expected you to miraculously forgive him, and he wasn’t mad that you didn’t.

Spring symbolized renewal - a wild guess he could make was that there would be plenty of occasions to make you at ease with him. He thought of the Cherry Blossom Festival -it would have been awkward if it was just the two of us though, it would have looked like a date or just something romantic- so he asked the whole team to come.

Waltzing through the sakura trees, a smile adorning your face, he thought you looked like you belonged in a movie -one where you would be the protagonist, one where you would get your own happily ever after. He hoped he would not just be an extra on your movie.You plucked a flower from the trees, tucked it behind your ear and you went back to dancing amongst the tree, surrounded by flowers. And at that moment, Kuroo could have sworn you were one yourself.

It made him remember a haiku he had found after making some research on a poet you talked about. 

さまざまのこと思い出す桜かな*. Various things, they call to mind, ah, cherry blossoms! )*

Yes, all of this was definitely because of the cliché of the romantic set-up made by cherry blossoms -maybe he could have had a better idea than going to Ueno Sakura Matsuri.

The sun was setting down when the group left the park. The colors of it brought out your features in a way he had never seen -it kissed your skin as if it was a first kiss, in the most grandiose way. When the group split, it didn’t take long to start raining -maybe about thirty minutes, but Kuroo was already home. He wondered if you were,or if you had found something to shelter yourself. He hoped you did.

Kuroo rolled around in his bed one last time, deciding that the day he just had was quite odd, but still a good day. It was 11:47 now, he decided he should try to sleep now.

It was 7:45 when Kuroo’s alarm clock rang. He woke up grudgingly -the first term already ended, but he still had to wake up early to go to the summer training camp. The whole team -you- would be here.  A part of him couldn’t wait to introduce his friends from Fukurodani to the team -to you-, because it had been five years since Nekoma last took part in one of these, so many of his teammates -you- didn’t know them yet. Another part of him was reluctant about that idea, what if the team -you- and the other teams didn’t get along? He decided it didn’t really matter, because at the end of the day, he was Nekoma’s captain, so he would have to side with his team -with you.

Yukie and Kaori were the first to greet you -telling you they were from Fukurodani. Meanwhile, Kuroo was busy catching up with Bokuto: “So she is the manager you told me about? You sure it’s the same person that you told me about? Come on man, she can’t be that bad, Yukie and Kaori seem to like her!” a shocked Bokuto exclaimed loudly, before slapping Kuroo on the shoulder and jogging towards you so he could introduce himself. Ah yeah, he hadn’t really updated him on you. Maybe he should have. 

“HEY HEY HEEEY! I’m Bokuto Kotaro, Fukurodani’s ace and captain,” the spiky haired boy exclaimed, pointing at himself with his thumb. “ And you must be (y/n) if you’re Nekoma’s manager!” 

“Yes, that’s my name,” you giggled, amused by the ace’s antics,”but can I ask you how you know that?” Oh no. Kuroo hoped Bokuto wouldn’t be blunt enough to tell you, especially with all the things he used to say about you. Oh he should have definitely kept him updated about you. Kuroo gave a silent prayer -that’s all he could do at this point.

“How could i NOT know about Nekoma’s manager? As the amazing captain that I am, I must know about my enemies !” 

Ah yes, what Akaashi called “Bokuto’s sixth weakness”, he liked to show off. It made Kuroo remember it -and it made him think that the Gods heard his prayer.He could breathe again; you would not learn about all the things he had said about you. 

He sighed in relief, and closed his eyes for what felt like half a second, but when he opened them again, he saw you laughing at Bokuto’s manners.It made Kuroo happy, thinking that if you made a friend of another one of his, he would get to spend more time with you, and you could become real friends. But he felt like he was shining upon you, brighter than the sun, and like he was blinding you, that you couldn’t see anything but this newfound sun.

A/N: Hi!! sorry for not updating earlier but I have been kinda busy these last few days :// So, about the haiku (*), I find it while looking for Japanese festivals, and i found the Ueno Sakura Matsuri, which is, from what I’ve understood, a cherry blossom festival in Ueno Park, in Tokyo. The haiku was written by Matsuo Basho, and you can read about it here -it’s where I got the traduction. I was thinking about starting an SMAU because I have an a idea, but i don”t know which characters i should pick so :CC. I think it could train me to write ‘dialogue’ even if i think im better at writing messages than dialoues (that introduction was weird AS FUCK, but clearly i can’t even introduce myself so how could i introduce someone else????)

[quackspot]

i started thinking about that gay bastard oc of yours. platano. can u tell me about him

omg u wer thinkgin about platano..... mr banana man... mr 4011. i am obsessed with the banana code srry i just got back from work (it was good :-D)

any way. um. im going below the cut. he kidnaps people and he murders people and i hate him because he’s also a massive weeb so. hm

HISTORY OF PLATANO... yea his name is spanish for banana

his father, pablo, will probably get a name change someday but i literally never think of his father since the only thing he did in platano’s backstory was disappear 

since platano’s world has characters based off like. fruits and vegetables (there aren’t really any limit to what the characters are based off of. it was in my lazy google translate name phase so we have like... a gay character named arcenciel who becomes dadlike through my powerful canon-changing touch. also arcenciel wears the colors of the rainbow as often as he can i haven’t figured out a good design for him since i’m not used to using more than 5 colors. he also owns a hat factory)

i think arcenciel and platano are friends they met when platano was like. 17 probably and arcenciel would be around uhhhhh ummmmmmm 21??? idk man but in canon he’s probably around 30 . yes i m saying “in canon” because i wrote a really dumb and horrible story back in 2018 arcenciel used to have HUGE internalized homophobia and i turned that into a running joke and i dislike that so that’s a reason why i’m not sharing the fun little story i wrote for my friends

(the best part of that story is when arcenciel threw his light-up rainbow heelies at platano, thus starting the boss fight which the main cast LOST.)

ok back to the topic at hand. platano.

i have a whole doc named platano where i just wrote drabbles about him so i’m going to summarize them

the first one was his friend, percisi (my only cishet oc he’s very short and very aggressive while also dressing in a soft-colored turtleneck since he’s based off of peaches) using a misunderstood form of satanism to summon satan. guess what percisi and platano summoned satan for. it was a manga update! wow

i won’t say the mangas name it was an inside joke

so platano was like “hey satan can i have this manga now please please” and satan went “sure just kill people for me” 

that determined platanos job for the next 7 or so years <3 wonderful. 

(it was basically me writing a backstory for a scene to happen in the main writing i wrote for my friends. he killed someone because someone else in the building was trying to summon satan. very confusing but okay i guess.)

i think right after that i wrote about platano meeting his boyfriend, sage, for the first time. i have horribly mixed feelings about their relationship since it’s very. Hm.

so platano kidnaps people to watch anime with him because all his friends left him and his best friend, mangue, is too busy being a dictator over the Land of the Fruits. i shit you not fruits oppressed the vegetables. i wrote that dynamic between the two because i was learning about the revolutionary war in US History. something like that at least

(the Land of the Fruits is not the official name)

on the topic of kidnapping people. guess who his favorite person was. sage. it was sage. so he tried to take sage often but they probably discussed Proper boundaries since everyone else tried to run away. hmm i am now going to write a bit right now 

“Platano,” Sage started. “Why do you keep kidnapping me? It’s rude and I hate it.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” The yellow-haired fool leaned on his sword, digging the tip deeper into the ground. 

“ASK ME IF I WANT TO HANG OUT??” 

“I can do that?”

“You keep making my dads worried.” Sage looked around the area, fidgeting with his hands. 

“Oh. Okay. Want to hang out? Watch some anime?” Platano paused for a moment, but managed to say “Maybe kiss?” before Sage got to answer.

“I- KISS??? We can watch anime together. We can go now.” 

Sage ushered Platano through a portal as fast as he could. 

His dads were never worried.

hmmm maybe that’s alright idk i’m a little tired so it’s probably a little out of character. sage probably isn’t that loud but i think it was trying to be the dynamic of “oh, we’re not dating” when they kiss every sunday at 5 pm by a romantic river scene 

he’s a character who is, at his very core, horrible and bad. he is portrayed in a way i DESPISE but i’m too lazy to correct it. his interest in sage actually started with me going “hmm i think platano would draw sage like this” then sauce giving me fun facts about his oc, sage, yea sage is sauce’s oc <3 epic win . so sauce gave me fun facts about sage and i was like “time to doodle these in platanos ‘art style’” when in reality it’s just the mockery of people just getting into an anime art style, with the chin so pointy it could cut a cake 

i might reread my old writing from 2018. i gotta agree with the judges for that year i did not write very well

it mightve actually been made in 2017 which would be FUCKIN CRAZY im gonna check rn 

yea it was started in 2018. february 14th... huh . finished it completely in june of that year it was 41 pages total and it’s not even double spaced how did i write something without double spacing it

OH MY GOD BOB IS GOING TO HIJACK THIS RANT JUST FOR A LITTLE

so bob is a fluffy little anthro cloud with a grey top hat and bowtie. he is amazing. i love bob. bob is another one of sauce’s character and mangue (mentioned earlier) was made by my friend jamie 

(you can always ask for their tumblrs but i’d ask them if its okay to share their tumblrs. i might just look at them and reblog their stuff cuz i like their art!!! maybe jamie posted a drawing she made recently on her blog but tbh i don’t think she would she’s more of a twitter user)

ok so im skimming thru UMG which is the story it stands for “Universe of Magic Gardens” and it was originally made for a prank on ponytown so people would go “what’s UMG” and my friends and i would be like “ur mom gay xDDDDDD” or something like that . horrible but i’m glad i’ve changed from . that.

here’s a bit i actually like AKLJFISJFIO

“What the actual FUCK, Ilkie?!” Arcenciel cringed in fear. “Put it back- it’s too ugly.” He pointed at Platano, whose arms were crossed. 

why is it bolded. anyway.

i just saw a part where eau used y’all... water cowboy moments <333 i really need to make refs for all of those old characters. all of my umg-related characters have to be my oldest-living ocs. 

i cant believe this is making me genuinely reread my old writing just to go “WJHFSIDAJKSFIOJ WTF????” 

some of the lines on it sound like something you would hear on like. a school bus or somethin 

looking at umg like “wtf how did i add so much Meat to this writing” bc most of my writing now is mostly quotations to progress the story (like the quickie i wrote earlier. i could add meat to it but im  tired lol)

OK THIS IS MORE GENERAL BUT MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT THIS WAS WRITING HAIKUS FOR PORTALS. after you visit a place enough times it’s kind of just an instinct to open a portal there so you don’t have to recite a haiku 

uhh ok here’s another bit becuase im feeling like living la vida loca.  ur biggest regret should be “can you tell me about him” by this point bc i’ve written too much to go back now

He landed on his face once he was outside of the hat. Meko quickly walked over to the guest room, opened the Portals for Dummies book, and flipped to a page. It looked devious.

“Banana, mango,

Each tasting amazingly.

A taste of evil.” 

Meko did the dance on the page, it consisted of something that looks like it’s from an anime. A portal opened, the familiar scent of bananas and mangoes coming from it. With some hesitation, Meko stepped in. He quickly made it so only his head peeked in.

it wasnt bolded this time but i like it bolded. ok i understand how i added meat it was just shitty expired meat ALKFSJSHDAIUJKFEIODSJAK . it wasnt even that much meat DAMN. it just looked like more.

actually that’s all i will write. i could  do more w platano but yea at his base he is a blonde twink who kills people because he wanted a manga but now he’s friends with a dictator. woo! wow. amazing character writing. i cant wait to get motivation to rewrite everything and make platano a good villain (he will still be very interested in anime sadly. idk why around that time i liked making characters who were obsessed with anime i didn’t even watch it much myself. i think it was because i wanted to put capes on them)

[bungoustraychaoticgays]

Kyoren Chapter TWo

Chapter Two:

TL;DR (i think that’s how you use it) abuse is mentioned in this

After washing all the dishes in the sink, Kyoren decided to go to bed. They tip-toe past step-mothers office and soon bolted to their room. After cleaning up their make-up dresser a little, the took the sheet of paper the black-haired woman gave her. Yosano was her name.

 “You’d do great with us.” It said. And it had a phone-number. “Call and ask about job positions, mention your ability and you should get in quickly with Kunikida. Good luck!”

 Kyoren grabbed their notebook and began writing some small poetry. Haiku’s were to restricting for them, with all the juxiposition and syllables counting and nature. They wrote freestyle

 The universe smiles down upon me,

Only when I am engulfed flame

 If to have strength,

 I will fall from the sky

Like a shooting star

                    I fly across the page

                                                     And end.  ==ʘ

 That was their ability. The universe smiles down on me. It let them take the power of the stars to give them strength. It swallowed them like the sun and let them fly higher and punch harder. But it was suffocating and cold. Like being in space. And it made them lonely. All the time.

 Layers of clothing came off. The black jacket, the pink shirt, the baggy jeans, and timberland boots. The glasses too. Some lotion was applied to their face by gentle hands. And slowly, blush and freckles came off.

 By the time Kyoren should have been in bed, the felt far to free to go under the futon covers. So they put on the bathing suit and went to the apartment swimming pool. They didn’t have a life-guard for the large expanse of water on the roof, but you signed a contract of usage saying you wouldn’t sue if something happened.

 Kyoren dipped in the pool and shivered. The water was cold under the moonlight. Kyoren was cold under the moonlight. And exposed. What a combination.

 An 18 year-old queer standing waist-deep in water, fighting thoughts and bathing in moonlight. And just as quickly, Kyoren is swimming laps. The water is like her ability. Suffocating and cold. It surrounds them like a tightly sealed envelope and lets them practice using it.

 Kyoren has been in more and more trouble lately, with people trying things with her. Older friends of To-san suddenly listen and stare at them than more than a kid. It’s scary, the change 18 made. They wish they were a kid again, and not a piece of meat, or a woman.

 Kyoren comes up for air on lap two. Three minutes without air is a record. And it felt like nothing. Perhaps, they think, I can use my ability for more than digging myself holes.

 The dry off and lay on the concrete scars and bruises open to the judgment of whoever is responsible for looking over human beings in the first place.

 They hold up a middle finger to the sky, to the kami. “For giving me a vagina.” They say. And they feel free.

 “You have to hit the bottom before you can get to the top,” their father’s voice rings in their head. “You must overcome the sadness within you and become happy. Go pet a cat, anything, just don’t cry.”

 They smile a little bit. Eventually, the find themself listing of their grievances with the world.

“Fuck you for killing my cat last week. Fuck you for giving me an abusive step-mom. Fuck you for taking away my Oka-san, and taking away my closure of their divorce. Just fuck you.”

 Bruises littered their ribcage, along with and ribs the protrude a little too much. Their fingers wander up to the flat chest and lay flat on their heart. “Thank the kami that you beat, and forever cause my misery.”

 When they get to their large apartment, their stepmother is slipping on a pair of rubber gloves. “Sit down, we need to chat.”

 The next morning they’re up at sunrise, trying to put on something smart. They give up and wear what they were every day.

 Tight jeans are fought

Boots are slid on

A  cutesy baby blue shirt that’s far too big. It has a stuffed animal bunny on it. This was a gift from Oka-san to To-san.

A black jacket is added on top, and their hair, which was thoroughly blow-dried and brushed, is ruffled.

A white face mask with whiskers is put over their mouth, to cover their busted lower lip. That woman wonders why don’t call her ka-chan like she wants me too. Kyoren thinks, bitterly.

 Kyoren grabs a thermos and fills it with hot water and matcha tea powder and shakes it hard. “The breakfast of champions, am I right?” They say to themselves. The grab their cell-phone from the counter and head out.

 It tracks their calls and location and everything. So most time they don’t take it, but they have business to take care of that their step-mother should know about.

 It’s a twenty-minute walk to the small cafe, and they find themselves climbing stairs to get to the fourth floor. They still have the piece of paper in their pocket. Their hand hovers above the door  before it swings wide open

 The boy with the white hair is about to walk out. Wasn’t his name Atsushi? Damn my brain for not remembering!

 “Hey,” he says.

 Kyoren steps out of the way. “Hi, how are you?” They try and smile, but their nervousness gets the better of them, and they tug on their Barbour coat.

 “I’m about to head out, and kunikida is waiting for you.”

 “Oh, okay!” As soon as Atsushi is out of the way, they dart into the little office. “Hello,” they say.

 A man with blond hair turns from a computer. “You must be the person Yosano was talking about, the one that applied for a job downstairs.”

 “Yes, sir,” they find themself saying, “I’m Saito Kyoren. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” As they bow their head low and stare at the floor, the lines of a poem the wrote fly back to their head.

 I work terribly when I am under pressure

And I am always stressed

Even over the littlest things

Perhaps I am just terrible in general-

 “Come with me, and we can speak to the president.” He stands up from his desk and gestures for you to follow him. “And Saito-san, a word of advice for working here.”

 Their eyes dart to him instead of the floor. “What is that sir.”

 They almost dead-pan. “Stay as far from Dazai as possible.”

 “The suicidal maniac?” They find themselves asking. Before they can get an answer, the find themself sliding open a door.

 “President, Saito Kyoren is here to talk about employment.” Kunikida states. And then he leaves.

 “Saito-san,” the president says, “take a seat.”

 Oka-san and Ka-chan mean mother and mommy respectively.

 The poetry is by me, BTW

And I have some serious problems with my past. I know, ask if you want to know more I need to talk about it anyway.

-Thyme

[hellyeahomeland]

How about explaining all of the episode’s titles? Would you? Maybe one a day/week.

“Ok, here we go. This is only from memory and if any of this is wrong or contains typos please don’t @ me I didn’t edit! 

Season one:

“Pilot: twas the pilot! 

“Grace”: Brody prays at the end 

“Clean Skin”: I think this is because Nazir lets Brody take a bath

“Semper I”: it’s a play on “Semper Fi” which is short for “Semper Fidelis” which is a Marine motto which means “always faithful”

“Blind Spot”: Carrie thinks Brody uses the blind spot in the safe house to slip Hamid the razor blade plus her growing attraction for him is kind of her blind spot!! 

“The Good Soldier”: almost undoubtedly a reference to a novel about a love triangle between a woman and two soldiers

“The Weekend”: because it’s THE weekend, duh

“Achilles Heel”: Saul’s Achilles heel is that he always answers when work calls, Tom Walker’s is that he loves his wife and kids… Carrie’s is literally every aspect of her existence

“Crossfire”: Issa gets stuck in the crossfire

“Representative Brody”: it’s the episode where Brody decides to run for Congress lol

“The Vest”: Brody tries on a vest! 

“Marine One”: *FORGET ABOUT BEFORE, THIS IS NOW. I SAW THEM! WHO? BRODY… THEY HUSTLED IT RIGHT THROUGH THE METAL DIRECTORS ALONG WITH THE VICE PRESIDENT. DO YOU EVEN REALIZE WHAT YOU’RE SAYING. YES. HE’S PLANNING ON TAKING THEM ALL OUT. THAT IS WHAT’S COMING. WE’VE BEEN HEARING CHATTER FOR DAYS NOW, MARINE ONE, MARINE TWO. IT’S NOT THE PRESIDENT’S HELICOPTER. IT’S ACTUAL MARINES. BRODY. AND WALKER. THEY ARE MARINE ONE AND MARINE TWO THEY’RE WORKING TOGETHER THEY MUST BE.  **transcribed verbatim from memory

Season two: 

“The Smile”: CARRIE FUCKING SMILES FOR FUCKING ONCE

“Beirut Is Back”: I could have sworn that there was a tourism campaign for the city of Beirut and this was the slogan but now I can find no evidence of that online

“State of Independence”: idk if this is a reference to the Donna Summers song or just a reference to Carrie being on her own again

“New Car Smell”: Brody gets a car wash to get rid of the odor of tobacco and murder

“Q&A”: Carrie asks some questions

“A Gettysburg Address”: play on words with Abraham Lincoln’s speech and the fact that Quinn & Co. literally go to a physical address in Gettysburg

“The Clearing”: I think this has multiple meanings: Carrie meets Brody in the clearing in the woods, Dana clears her conscience, Brody attempts to clear his

“I’ll Fly Away”: a reference to the 90s TV show that Henry Bromell (and, hi! Barbara Hall!) both wrote on but a more literal reference to Brody being whisked away on a helicopter at the end (lmao s2 is wild)

“Two Hats”: so many people wearing hats in this episode!! 

“Broken Hearts”: lulz Walden’s breaks at the end 

“In Memoriam”: because Nazir dies (fact: this episode was originally titled “The Motherfucker in the Turban” but was changed last minute, thank god)

“The Choice”: Carrie must choose between red and white wine JUST KIDDING IS ANYONE STILL READING THIS???

Season three: 

“Tin Man Is Down”: someone says this during the weird Wizard of Oz op

“Uh… Oh… Aw”: phonetically it sounds like “fuck… you… saul” if you were drugged out on thorazine

“Tower of David”: Brody’s residence 

“Game On”: because it’s when Carrie and Saul’s spy-came-in-from-the-cold operation is revealed 

“The Yoga Play”: it’s Carrie’s very unoriginal name for an espionage scheme in which a lady with blonde hair attends a yoga class in her place

“Still Positive”: Carrie takes a 47th pregnancy test and is still positive #scarredforlife

“Gerontion”: ugh this is a poem I don’t know more go find Jacob Clifton’s TWoP recap

“A Red Wheelbarrow”: Carrie texts this to the Franklin man, it’s like spy code for “i’m the one answering this not some other dude” 

“One Last Thing”: Saul to Brody: “you will do this one last thing” (literally though!) 

“Good Night”: more spy code. I think it means “we’re fucked!”?

“Big Man in Tehran”: Brody becomes one of these when he denounces America for terrorism! (but only for show!)

“The Star”: probs dual meaning and allusion to the literal star Carrie draws and Damian Lewis’ stature on the show

Season four:

“The Drone Queen”: we stan one! 

“Trylon and Perisphere”: a reference to the two structures at the World’s Fair and I can’t remember where I read this but I think it’s a reference to Quinn and the Landlady which is 100% horrific and offensive 

“Shalwar Kameez”: this is the national dress of Pakistan but beyond that I got nothing

“Iron in the Fire”: Carrie says this about Aayan

“About a Boy”: think this is not a reference to the book/film but rather just to Carrie trying to figure out Aayan’s dealio

“From A to B and Back Again”: possibly a reference to the circular nature of the episode? They go from thinking they’ve got Haqqani to being back at square one by episode’s end 

“Redux”: Carrie hallucinates Brody

“Halfway to a Donut”: Duck says this about some pastry. Like 4.06, they think they’ve got Saul and end up back to zero (donut)

“There’s Something Else Going On”: well there was!! 

“13 Hours in Islamabad”: reference to the Benghazi attacks, which the episode basically lifts from directly and which also lasted ~13 hours

“Krieg Nicht Lieb”: Carrie meets a German spy woman! This means “war not love” (not perfectly translated), so an ironic take on “love not war”

“Long Time Coming”: Carrie and Quinn finally have sex!!!!!!! (just seeing if anyone is still reading this)

Season five: 

“Separation Anxiety”: I think this a meta reference to the time jump and also to Carrie’s anxieties about being out of the CIA but back in that world

“The Tradition of Hospitality”: I believe this is a reference to Carrie + Otto being guests at the UN refugee camp and how… un-hospitably that trip ends

“Super Powers”: Carrie believes she has super powers when she’s off her meds

“Why Is This Night Different”: these words at said at Passover seder, which starts out the episode 

“Better Call Saul”: horrifically embarrassing title that is a reference to Carrie calling Saul as well as the Breaking Bad spinoff starring Bob Odenkirk

“Parabiosis”: I honestly don’t know. It’s a scientific term and I haven’t rewatched those middle season five episodes since they aired and also don’t care to! 

“Oriole”: this was Carrie’s code name with one of her assets in Iraq

“All About Allison”: this episode centers on our Lord and Savior Allison Carr, Queen of Online Handbag Shopping! 

“The Litvinov Ruse”: I think this describes the trick they played on Allison thinking she was blown when she wasn’t 

“New Normal”: some military or CIA person says this about ISIS or Russia and Quinn being gassed 

“Our Man in Damascus”: this is the title of a book about a man who infiltrates a foreign government at the highest levels so I’m pretty sure it’s a reference to Allison 

“A False Glimmer”: lifted straight from Quinn’s letter! 

Season six: 

“Fair Game”: was surely sad by Keane or Dar or Saul or someone else about something (sorry, haven’t rewatched these episodes either)

“The Man in the Basement”: it’s where Quinn threw that mug at Carrie

“The Covenant”: believe this is a reference to the scene with Saul and his sister and Palestine/Israel

“A Flash of Light”: Etai says* this to Saul: “And the question I keep asking myself is this-- should we [the Jewish people] pack up and leave before it's too late? All eight million of us? Should we go back to the ghettos of Europe and Asia and wait for the next pogrom? Or just pray it doesn't happen here first, in a flash of light?” *not recited from memory

“Casus Belli”: apparently this was the actual name of meat face?? The phrase actually means a justification for war, so...

“The Return”: isn’t the episode where Javadi comes back?

“Imminent Risk”: Carrie is this to Franny and Quinn is this to.... himself?

“alt.truth”: I think this was someone’s sock puppet handle or website name or something? Idk it was about online trolls I think

“Sock Puppets”: Max finds ‘em! 

“The Flag House”: the house where meat face lives has a flag out front

“R is for Romeo”: there was an R on the white board at the flag house which I think meant eastern time?? It was spy code I can’t remember!! 

“America First”: term that used to mean non-interventionist policy but has been today co-opted by the American right to mean that we gotta put America ahead of all other interests (moral, humane, rational, etc.) because... AMERICA!!! Typically used to justify fascist policies

Season seven: 

“Enemy of the State”: Carrie’s power of bun have put her in the crosshairs (is anyone still reading this?) 

“Rebel Rebel”: I remember this being a play on words and it’s a verb, not a noun. Said by those gun crazies with Brett O’Keefe.

“Standoff”: Saul and O’Keefe

“Like Bad at Things”: definition for “incompetent.” Said by Carl, who deserves a Best Supporting Actor Emmy

“Active Measures”: term for actions taken by Russia to undermine America

“Species Jump”: another science term to describe the jumping of a pathogen from one host to another... I’m thinking this might be Carrie understanding who Dante really was but it’s a Chip Johannessen title so anything is possible

“Andante”: it’s how Carrie ends the episode! (that is a joke and it is 100% another meaning for the title but it also refers to a moderately slow tempo which is basically this episode’s structure until, y’know, the ending!) 

“Lies, Amplifiers, Fucking Twitter”: it’s one half of a haiku Carrie is writing 

“Useful Idiot”: see: picture of Carrie in a PowerPoint presentation

“Clarity”: Carrie gets it (kinda)

“All In”: what Carrie must convince Saul she is for the 650th time because Saul remains trash

“Paean to the People”: a reference to Keane’s speech

[rawrmeansilyindinosawr]

i DRANK 2 PUMPKIN SPICE LAtTez N NOW I FEEL Leafes in my Stom@ch!!!!!!

RAWR MEANS ILY IN DINOSAWR N I WANNA CUM to dA DARK SIZE CUZ THEYZ GOTS Mint CHOCO CHIP COOKIEZ !!!!!!

5 MORE DAYZ THEN I KAN POST ON LEX N FUG WHO EVER REPORTED MY LAST POST CUZ I RLY DID GET LIKE 17 MSGS IN RESPONSE TO MY “pOTENTIALLY HARMFHL” AKA RAISING AWARENESS MAYB BY “INCITING VIOLENCE “ON A Bitch AT HENRIETTA HUDSON!!!!!

Y do u keep smoking weed from a dirty bong when u hav bronchitis??? Y do some ppl accept 5-7 min sex from their partners and still decide to Stay with them ??? Y do u keep growing out ur roots to plz ur boyfie who has worked at michilen star restaurantz but i hav only witnessed cookin pasghetti??? shoutout to the tht guy w the bike who jumped out wilson L at 4am just to tell meh he thought i was cute n asked for mi number but i said NO!!!!!!! n r@n away. shutout to mi fwendz taiwanese landlady who pet me lik a dog n who i put k up her nose in trade 4 hot soy milky n a fish bao. they hav a fb pg dedicated to they pet ferret who dressez up like oprah, marilyn monroe n bob marley <dreads from her old boyfie!> shoutout 2 da bday pawrty tht i threw tht didn’t happen tht led to a mental breakdown n bday boy split on meh but itz all luv at the end of the day.

havnt blogged in a min since i started werking as a teacher n also at jewelry warehouse managing inventory n packaging . ig it’s whut U culd call product merchandising? finished mi fashion merchandising certificate via parsons n hav been accomplishing much but Rly kinda Fucked at the same time cuz Cali taxes but i think in ab 3 yrs w more frugal spending n living w debt i will probz be able to C the lite of day but fornow i hav got to keep gettin Kuter n hotter so i get my drugs for free.

Whts happened since i last bloggeD??? Well… the bar i threw my bday party at in Sep wants $600 from me and i lost my id there as collateral , i put K up my butthole for the first time tht same nite , My therapist i just got last week thinks i hv a great sense of humor , i paid $100 for an LA Astrologer to read my natal chart ill get read nxt sunday ,hav been reading a lot of peoples fb messages in their account unbeknownst to Dem [ some ppl r Toxic!! ] , Went 2 sleepy halloww N it wuz fun to explor3 ! we snuck into the phillip manor n ran from the moosez n snuck into the cemetery then went back to the city to go two parties til our phone died N we were askin ppl for directions to the nxt party. 0pen bar at ladygunn [ N met ppl from sk8 kitchen ive now met like three ppl from sk8 kitchen just in passing in parties n walkin around in bushwick. ] walkin in platformz n cheap shein shoes we blistered n bruised so the bunions unfortunately rnt goin anywhere but it iz whut it iz.

A haiku:

Mi molly plug

put they

pube

in my molly pills.

10/10 Best molly i ever done. missed the party bus at fidi to haunted mansion cuz my fake frog died n im in the third stage of grief ab it. (Bargaining) . Im entering a hoe phase again after being in my “im waiting for tru luv christian era “but like Truly- if ur boring id rather u be toxic pleaze for the love of God don’t b boring !!!!!!!!! UgH…. now I know whut silicone fake boobs feel like in my handz and mouth , iAm now an owner of a mattress made out of green tea , Im talking to a they them whose name is a frappuccino at Starbucks , My belly button piercing is infected , N new luv language unlocked : L8 nites screaming 2 emo music n throwback y2K sheit in Lena hornes grandsons bushwick apt n kissing his gf n trying on wigz n trying to do headstandz n LOTZ OF poetry SHaringz !!

a random poem i wrote on the bussy On my way! to werk: “scared of fame like sia .

Rico Nasty , sick . and diarrheaed .” Do u like it .

Halloweenn wuz fun dressing up like the BL00d of christ lmfao but i def got too tired cuz went out consecutive dayz n no sleep n just tired n sad . Intrapersonal probz make meh so fukin sad. But it lastz few wkz of good wetherr so i celebratin by goin to bodega in a c thru bra. i value deli man’s opinions of meh Titty piercings . iM still confused as to how i met my last situationship’s ex roommate at a casting who also may hav fucked my friends situation ship / Boyfie while feeling insecure and Hmmz. Guess the strait scene is gettin smol like the gay scene.

i finished watching party monster ab the club kidz scene in nyc n i am fuckin INSPIRED as hell to keep dressin weird n mayb do drag makeup sometimez. Luved the movie but therez too much Heroin. but much respect to Amanda Lenore , James st James n Angel Melendez (rip). Sidenote but i’ve been talking to a virgo trans masc columbia student who wants to top me and He wuz tellin meh ab how they did heroin once at a poland rave n Im getting increasingly interested Also just found out kurt cobain did Hereoin to help his undiagnosed IBS prob cuz he was severely lactose but his fav food wuz mac n cheese n pizza. LE SIGGHHH. soooooo relatable…!!!! but H is not kute so ima hav to let this 1 pass.

Finally getting mf help n treatment for ED stuff n tryna take more vitamins , im afraid of change and its so toxic how my head kan get sometimes just trying to follow this routine or diet sometimes i’ll call it just to find myself lying to myself continuously n going in roundabout ways with food anxiety, to the point of not being able to sleep because im in such a bad headspace because i’m hungry and trying to distract myself from not eating. I rly want a cinnamon roll wiff pecans tho. n crab Ranboobs…..

Gossip gurl rennybaby69247 advice- Dunt ever trust a hoe tht acts like sylvia plath manic girlie but kantt rly relate cuz it’s a whole systemic white ppl privilege thing at the end of the day , but trust white ppl who bake real good cuz Tbh they cook the main course w no garlic seasoning or pepper or salt on PURPOSE cuz they wanna prepare u for the boobwerrie muffin w almondz shaped like heartz on the top Dessert on purpose cuz U wont even fathom their artistry n Sheit n the power in their muscles to knead that dough tO Begin with!!!!!!!!!! white people need more credibility in the kitchen Ntthis week i want to say white lives matter n we shuld Giv them respectable chances to "get back " in our social platforms .

Til nxt week!!!!!!!!

ur disney channel princess , clowncore magazine collaging naked neighbor in the window , Depressed bitch rotting in their bedroom, Blew up on tiktok cuz of the ketamine scene in russian doll Yea u shuld follow me , Renny<3

[eliz1369]

HijiChi Week Day 3 - A Problem of Poetic Proportions

The lazy heat of the afternoon filled the garden as Souji found the perfect spot to lay down under one of the trees. Just enough sunlight peaked its way through the leaves to be pleasantly warm, instead of boiling hot. It would have been the perfect place to take a nap, but he had other plans.

Laying back, he pulled a small book out of his sleeve and turned it over in his hands as he grinned.

Hijikata had done a much better job hiding his haiku collection this time and he’d had to waste three whole distractions before he’d finally found it hidden in a stack of expense reports.

Now with Hijikata off chastising the Baka trio for stealing his brushes to paint Sano’s stomach the previous night—and subsequently breaking them in their drunken stupor—Souji finally had some Hijikata-free time in which he could pursue the Oni no Fukucho’s latest additions.

Flipping to where he had left off last time he’d had the book, Souji was surprised to find only one new haiku.

A beautiful flower

To be admired, but never held

Accusations fly

He frowned at the words. By no means was he any kind of expert, but this seemed bad even for Hijikata. It started off fine, but the accusations part seem both oddly specific and completely out of the blue.

He sat up as he read it over again. Flowers weren’t an unusual theme for Hijikata, his absurd plum blossom one was just the tip of the iceberg, but something about this felt off to Souji.

What had happened in the past few weeks that would cause Hijikata to write this?

Normally he never bothered to figure out why Hijikata wrote his haiku, because normally they were either obvious enough to tell exactly what he was getting at, or so vague as to be indecipherable… and this was frustratingly neither.

“Okita-san?”

He looked up to find Chizuru standing on the engawa. She gestured to the small tray in her hands as she asked, “Would you like some peach slices? I was going to take them to Hijikata-san, but um…”

She trailed off and Souji knew she was trying to find a delicate way to say “scaring the living daylights out of three grown men” (or at the very least Heisuke).

He let a razor edge creep into his smile as he snicker and said, “You mean threatening life and limb of a certain trio? Don’t worry, they’ll probably only lose a finger or two, maybe a toe.”

“Okita-san! That isn’t funny.”

She frowned at him with the odd censure she sometimes got, like she wasn’t afraid of him at all. Despite that, she smiled as she sat down and placed the tray next to her, clearly expecting him to join her.

Not that he would ever say no to a sweet treat. Chizuru had a knack for only picking the sweetest fruit. Unlike Shinpachi, who somehow managed to always come back with fruit so green it was completely inedible.

Tucking Hijikata’s book back into his sleeve, he got up.

Besides, maybe she would know what Hijikata was getting at with his little poem. The plum blossom incident was largely due to her after all. [1]

“Ne, Chizuru-chan,” he said as he sat next to the tray and picked up a slice of the sticky fruit. “I’ve got something I don’t understand. Think you could figure it out for me?”

She blinked in surprise at the question, but nodded. “Um, I can certainly try. What is it?”

He recited the haiku and waited, watching for the slightest flicker in her expression as she thought it over.

“Well… Flowers do bruise when you touch them, and they last longest when you leave them on the stem…” She frowned as she chewed on her lip. “That brings up thoughts of the shortness of life… Or maybe something is out of reach?”

Souji stole another piece of fruit as Chizuru nodded to herself, really getting into her analysis. It was amusing how the normally quiet girl could really ramble when it came to poetry.

“The flower might represent something the author finds beautiful but can’t bring themselves to touch. And maybe the accusations are because touching or being near that thing is forbidden or would harm it, so the haiku could capture the conflicting desire of both loving and fearing for something or someone-”

“Or maybe it means that theft of private property is wrong.”

Chizuru jumped and let out a squeak at the all too familiar voice behind them.

Souji lazily took another bite of peach as he looked up at a thunderous Hijikata and said innocently, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Hijikata-san.”

“Yes you damn well do! Give my back my book!”

Chizuru glanced nervously between them, but Souji wasn’t about to admit to anything. Hijikata didn’t know the book was in his sleeve. All Hijikata would know was that he had been reciting his most recent work.

Deciding to try and learn a bit more, Souji said, “What did you mean by accusations, Hijikata-san? Is there a flower out of your reach?”

Hijikata’s face remained impassive except for a slight twitch at his temple and the very briefest flicker of his eyes toward Chizuru.

Oh, so it had something to do with her, did it? Something in the past few weeks had caused Hijikata to write a haiku about Chizuru…

All at once everything clicked into place and Souji let a devilish smile creep across his face. Any number of snarky comments were on the tip of his tongue, but he kept silent. This was too good to risk spoiling.

“Yukimura,” Hijikata’s voice was slightly strained as he broke Souji’s gaze gestured sharply down the hall he had come from. “I believe Gen could use some help with lunch. Heisuke is unable to assist him at the moment.”

Chizuru nodded and scurried away, leaving the tray of fruit behind and clearly eager to escape the tense atmosphere.

Once she was out of earshot, Souji said tauntingly, “Hmm, Hijikata-san wasn’t touching a flower he shouldn’t, was he?”

“Not another word, Souji, or I swear I will cut your fucking tongue out.”

The telltale twitch was back, so Souji didn’t say anything about the faint blush that accompanied it. Instead he just smirked as Hijikata turned away and stormed back down the hallway.

Only once the Demon was gone, did he allow himself a quiet laugh. It seems the feared Oni no Fukucho was developing a soft spot for a certain little geisha. And if the last line of the poem was anything to go by, they must have made quite a scene leaving Shimabara.

He picked up the last piece of peach and popped it into his mouth before getting up and walking over to the spot he had vacated upon Chizuru’s arrival. There was just enough time to sneak in a quick nap in the sun before lunch.

As he settled back onto the soft grass, Souji promised himself that one of these days, he was going to wheedle out of everyone exactly what had happened the night Chizuru-chan went undercover.

[1] Ugh... Like most things I go looking for, of course I can’t find it now. However, I distinctly remember reading a short story (possibly drama cd?) where Souji tricks Chizuru into saying what she thinks of Hijikata’s plum blossom poem and Chizuru hilariously astounds them all (especially Hijikata) by actually making some kind of metaphorical sense out of it.

[sleepy-and-anxious]

Meet the writer tag!

Thanks to the sweet bby @reinkings and @trevorparece for tagging me in this <3 Sorry this took me so long to do! (and sorry for the people who also tagged me in this! I could only find 2 but I know there was a few more)

Rules: Answer 10 questions, write 10 questions, tag 10 people! 

where do you typically get inspiration for your wips?

Hmm A lot of my inspo comes from music once I have a solid idea of my wip. But it usually starts off with tropes I like and a vague idea of characters and relationships. 

do you prefer reading series or standalone books?

I think I prefer reading shorter series (aka duologies or trilogies) once you get over a quartet I get a bit hesitant unless i’m like 100 percent in love with the story.  

who’s your favorite OC? what’s their favorite color?

My favourite OC so far has probably got to be Hepton. I love that complex scary man so much. His favourite colour is orange! 

coffee or tea?

Now this is the question.... I think i’ve gotta say tea.

do you prefer to plot every detail, just jump in to a story, or do something in between?

Something in between! I find that I need to have a vague idea of where the story begins, ends and the whole point of the journey before I start writing. But I can’t have it in super detailed outlines because I just die. 

pen or pencil?

Pencil! My handwriting is disgusting and I like to be able to erase my spelling errors. 

what’s the funniest backstory you have for one of your characters?

I’m not sure any of them are funny... They’re all pretty tragic. 

would you rather only ever be able to write haikus, or only ever be able to write paragraph-long sentences?

Oh fuck. Only write paragraph long sentences? 

what’s your favorite thing to write about?

I’m a sucker for writing romance and smut don’t @ me 

how would you describe your WIP(s) in one sentence?

Ignorant girl discovers all her friends are magical and she needs to stop being so fucking hypocritical tbh 

Additionally questions by Trevor! Thank u boo! 

1. Standalones, trilogies, or behemoths of a series? 

  Trilogies!

2. What is your favorite line of your own writing? 

I’m currently loving on my prologue again so any line from that!

3. What would your book’s epigraph be?

“Who ever said the world responds to kindness? Issues have always been solved with anger and outcry.” 

4. How about its movie poster slogan?

I honestly have no idea r.i.p me 

5. If you were going to challenge yourself to try something new, what genre would you venture into?

Id probably go to Sci-Fi next or maybe romance 

6. Who’s the first person you show a draft to?

Idk tbh. Nobody I know IRL actually reads or would be interested. It would probably be my friend inin or Kira. Or maybe id get beta readers first. 

7. Is there an idea (be it plot or character or world) you’ve been tugging along since childhood, just waiting for the right moment to use?

The entire plot and character base of gfs... 

8. What’s the first creative thing you remember writing, and what did you learn from it?

I think I wrote some kinda faerie teddy bears picnic style short story as a kid but I really can’t remember and I don’t think I even finished it because nobody wanted to read it lol 

9. What’s the strangest characteristic you’ve taken from real life and given to a character (could be yours or someone else’s)?

Hepton’s sclera tattoos! I’ve seen them online and was like “Imma just steal that”

10. Choose your fighter: Enemies to Lovers, There’s Only One Bed, or Pretend Dating Makes Real Feelings.

HOW DARE U! I’m torn between enemies to lovers and theres only one bed *cry emoji* 

My questions: 

Do you have a writing routine? 

Early bird or night owl? 

Who is your least favourite oc? Tell me about them. 

How do you come up with plot ideas? 

Do you make playlists for your wip? 

What software/type of document etc do you write on? 

Do you like to gush about your wip or keep it secret? 

If you could pick one song to describe your wip what would it be? 

Did you make a writeblr for any specific reason? 

If you could recommend to me/your followers another blog to follow/another persons wip what would you choose? 

Im going to tag: 

@moiraaward @tawnywrites @mademoiselleink @type-writings @avatarwriting @danafaithwriting @reeseweston @elliewritesstories @jbhawkswriter @shit-she-wrote @leapwriter @moiraaward (But no pressure if you don’t want to do it bbys <3) 

[skeletonscribbles]

1 with Richie and Eddie for the writing prompts!

Got you covered, friend! Hope the Tumblr crowd is feeling a Stan POV on Reddie, because I sure as hell was. This is straight comedy, too, so those of you who are here because of Wildflowers…here’s proof that it’s not sad around here ALL the time.

#1, by the way, is “Yes, I did say that, but I didn’t think you were going to be a dumbass!”

And here we have:

Sugar, Spice, and Bad AdviceT-ish for language and reference to Richie’s dick (deep sigh)2500 words

Summary: Stan has absolutely no idea why Richie comes to him for romantic advice...so, like any respectable businessman, he outsources.

Stanley Uris did not consider himself a romantic person by any means.

He appreciated romance, certainly. From a very young age, he was poring through books with clever heroines and rooting for them to end up living happily with attractive, intelligent partners. (More often than not, said heroines never encountered anyone as smart as they were, and so they had to settle. Stan thought that was a shame. If he were writing books, he would write romance very differently.) That said, in real life, he tended to be more realistic and less dreamy about matters of the heart.

All of this being the case, it really didn’t make any sense at all that Richie Tozier was coming to him for romantic advice…but then, Stan had long since come to terms with the fact that nothing about Richie made any sense.

“You’ve gotta help me out here, buddy,” Richie was saying, pacing back and forth as Stan watched him disinterestedly from the couch. “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say to him…do I say anything to him? Fuck, Stan, I’m gonna fuck this up, I’m such a piece of shit and he’s so….so….”

“Paranoid?” Stan offered, thinking of Eddie and smiling thinly. “Shrill?”

That was another baffling thing about the situation: Richie was pining over Eddie. Eddie, who they’d known since kindergarten; Eddie, who cried in sixth grade because Greta Bowie wrote the word ‘cancer’ on one of his papers in Social Studies. Dirty, lewd Richie Tozier was having feelings for nervous, naive Eddie Kaspbrak. It was highly illogical, and Stan usually hated things that were illogical….but for whatever reason, his brain was somewhat settled with the idea of this particular pair of friends getting together, which was bizarre in and of itself.

Richie threw himself on to the couch with a groan, sprawling across Stan’s legs. Stan tried to kick at him, but he was pinned under Richie’s lanky frame. “I was going to say perfect,” Richie sighed wistfully, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes.

Stan made an exaggerated whipping sound and gesture, and Richie responded by pulling himself over and blowing a raspberry onto Stan’s knee.

“Disgusting.” Stan shoved Richie off of the couch, and Richie hit the floor with a hard thud. “Have you asked anyone else for advice about this? Perhaps they’d be able to do a little more for you than roll their eyes.”

Richie raised his head, peeking at Stan over the side of the couch. “You think they’d be okay with it? I keep thinking that Big Bill’s gonna kill me immediately upon hearing that I have designs on Eds’ virtue.”

“Don’t say that thing about virtue again. It was awful.” Stan shook his head, shuddering. “And trust me when I say that Bill is all for you and Eddie finally getting your fucking shit together.”

That much, at least, was true. Stan’s entire last conversation with Bill, much to his dismay, had been centered around getting Richie and Eddie to stop pining for each other. In fact, Stan’s recent conversations with most of the other Losers had been centered around getting Richie and Eddie to stop pining for each other. The situation was pretty universally annoying.

“Wait, but why would Bill’s love advice be better than yours?” Richie was looking at him curiously. “Or Bev’s or Ben’s or Mike’s, for that matter?”

Stan looked back at him flatly. “Richie. You know me.”

Richie thought about that, and then nodded. “Fair point. So…”

“Try Mike first,” Stan advised, thinking of Mike’s warm smile and feeling a little hot. “He’s got game.”

—-

The next day at school, Richie approached Eddie with a small bouquet of flowers.

It was, without a doubt, the worst bouquet that Stan had ever seen.

Richie had obviously picked it himself. Half of the flowers still had roots attached, and the bouquet was pretty much only made up of dandelions and violets, with the odd daisy or tulip that he’d probably taken illegally from someone’s garden. Richie had been clutching them tightly for quite a while, and they were starting to go limp in his grip.

In short, there was no fucking way that Eddie was going to touch that, and sure enough, when Eddie showed up, he recoiled.

“Richie, did you go through Mrs. Conway’s garden again? I TOLD you, she doesn’t grow marijuana! Not that you’d even know what marijuana looks like anyway, Went would fucking end you if he smelled smoke on your–”

Richie cut off Eddie’s tirade by shoving the flowers towards him. “They’re for you, Eds! And only a few of them are from Mrs. Conway’s.”

Eddie stared at him, horrified. “You expect me to touch those? First of all, you’ve been sweating all over them for probably twenty minutes now. Second, poison ivy–”

“Okay, if I don’t know what marijuana looks like, you definitely don’t know what poison ivy looks like,” Richie interjected hotly.

“I know what poison ivy looks like,” Stan informed them, unable to help himself.

“No you fucking don’t, jackass. Not every plant is poison ivy,” Richie all but yelled, face crimson with either frustration or embarrassment (Stan couldn’t tell).

“Anyways, asshat, bad fucking joke. Do better next time.” Eddie stomped towards the high school in a huff, and Richie looked helplessly over at Mike, who had been watching the whole escapade unfold with a grim expression.

“So, flowers are out,” Mike finally said, shrugging. “Sorry, Rich.”

“Shit.” Richie dropped the “bouquet” and sighed. “It’s okay, Mikey, you meant well.”

“That’s pretty much the extent of my flirting expertise, unless you want to bring Eddie a chicken.” Mike wrinkled his nose at the thought. “And that’s a terrible idea, by the way. He’d flip.”

“I’d pay to see that,” Bev muttered, obviously visualizing Eddie’s inevitable chicken meltdown.

Richie turned to look at Beverly after she spoke, cogs obviously turning in his head. “What about you, Bevvy? Any grand ideas for what is now apparently my crowdsourced seduction of Eds Kaspbrak?”

“Bevvy has nothing,” Bev said solemnly, opening her arms and closing her eyes. “Bevvy was clever enough to land the perfect guy without having to resort to cheap tactics.”

Richie flipped her off with both hands, and Ben crossed to her to hug her from behind, beaming.

“I have a thought,” Ben said, smiling into Bev’s hair.

“Yes?” Richie crossed his arms.

“Beverly doesn’t have a suggestion…” Ben trailed off, eyes glinting, “…but Benverly does.”

“I’m listening,” said Richie, narrowing his eyes.

—-

Ben had wooed Beverly by way of a little haiku-esque poem, and so his advice to Richie was, predictably, to put together some sort of piece of writing for Eddie.

Stan knew right away that this plan was destined to fail, but he kept his mouth shut and let Richie try, not wanting to become the advice-giver again. The strategy was good, all in all, but for it to be effective Richie would have to be…less Richie, which was impossible.

A week after the bouquet, Richie joined the Losers in their before-school spot wearing a nice, collared shirt (buttoned all the way up, so no one could see the graphic tee underneath) and a pair of khakis that was slightly less wrinkled than Stan expected from him. He had obviously attempted to comb down his wild curls - attempted being the keyword. It wasn’t a look that suited Richie at all, but he was almost endearing, Stan thought, just by virtue of his obvious effort. (Almost.)

When Eddie arrived a minute later, he just about tripped over his own two feet gawking at Richie.

“Did Stan let you borrow clothes, or what?” he asked, staring unabashedly at the buttons on Richie’s shirt.

Stan resented that, and was about to tell Eddie so, but Richie was pulling a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket, so he held himself back.

“Eds,” he began, pulling at the collar of his shirt. “Spaghetti-o.”

Eddie buried his hands in his hair, pulling nervously. “What is happening.”

“Your freckles are like constellations,” Richie began. He was playing it off like he wasn’t nervous, but there was a telltale shakiness to his voice. “They trail up to the galaxies of your eyes….”

Stan couldn’t help but be impressed. Almost a whole line in, and Richie hadn’t mentioned Eddie’s mom once.

Eddie was less enthused. “I’m really fucking tired of being the butt of your jokes, Richie.”

“It’s not a joke,” Richie explained exasperatedly.

“And my mom isn’t the biggest bitch in Derry,” Eddie jeered, fed up. “Let’s just go to class, okay? Mike, did you understand the statistics homework?”

Mike looked defeatedly around at the other Losers, and then joined Eddie in walking back towards the school building. Once they were far enough away, Richie threw his poem in the air in frustration.

“If it helps, I thought you were off to a good start,” Stan offered.

“It doesn’t help,” Richie grumbled.

Ben looked perturbed. “I really thought he’d go for that. We took all references to Richie’s dick out of it and everything.”

Ah. So Ben had a hand in the creation of the poem. The sweetness of it suddenly made sense.

“Looks like it’s on you, now, Denbrough,” Bev said, looking expectantly at Bill. Bill swallowed hard, and Stan rolled his eyes. If Bill couldn’t figure out that Stan had been flirting with him for the past three years, he wouldn’t be able to help Richie.

“I could p-probably suggest something,” Bill said meekly, and it was all Stan could do not to bang his head into the nearby telephone pole.

—-

“I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again,” Stan hissed, “Bill’s advice is garbage, and this is a disaster.”

Bill Denbrough, literary genius that he was, was absolutely horrible at romantic suggestions. He had reminded Richie that Eddie had a sweet tooth, and had advised him to make cookies for Eddie as a gift (and as a kind-of apology for the last two disastrous attempts at flirting).

So far, Richie had burnt two batches, and the batter consistency of the third was…alarming, to say the least. He’d called Stan in a panic some twenty minutes ago, and Stan had pedaled over in a huff, cursing Bill Denbrough’s name.

“You’re the one that said it would be a good idea to ask the other Losers how to go about doing this!” Richie retorted, gesticulating wildly with a cup of flour and then groaning as most of the flour flew out of the cup and on to the floor.

“Yes, I did say that, but I didn’t think you were going to be a dumbass!” Stan went for the broom and dustpan, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on.

“You didn’t?! Come on, dude.” Richie leaned on the counter, took off his glasses, and rubbed at his eyes. “You call me a dumbass, like, every day.”

“Yes, and I mean it, and this time I mean it about the rest of our friends, too. And Eddie. Dumbasses, all.” Stan swept the flour neatly into the dustbin, scowling. “Just tell him how you feel. The hokey tactics that everyone is suggesting are terrible. Ask each other out pointblank, for fuck’s sake.”

“Ask who out?” A high-pitched, familiar voice sounded from the doorway, and Richie whipped around so fast Stan was a little worried that he’d break something (probably himself).

“Eds?” Richie panicked and headed for the trash can, seemingly to try and block Eddie from seeing its contents. “Uh, what?”

“Bev said she thought she could see smoke coming from your house, so she sent me over to check,” Eddie said, and Stan silently thanked Bev for trying to be proactive about shutting down Bill’s stupid cookie plot. “Who are you asking out, Richie?”

Stan could all but see the ‘your mom’ that was racing to make its way out of Richie’s mouth. Fortunately, he was standing close enough to remedy it. He kicked at Richie’s ankle, and when Richie looked over at him, he gave him a significant look, hoping that that would be enough for Richie to remember what they had just been talking about.

Richie nodded, and took a deep breath. “I, um, have something to tell you, Eds, and, uh, you might not like it–”

“Is it that you like me?” Eddie asked nonchalantly. “Because I know that.”

Richie gaped. “Say what now?”

“I’m not stupid.” Eddie shrugged and peered past Richie, trying to discern what was in the trash can. “You’ve been acting weird for a while, and then you started dressing differently and bringing in weird stuff for me. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together.”

“And you’re not mad?” Richie asked weakly.

“Nah.” Eddie stuck his hands in his pockets. “With the poem, I was just mad you were trying to pull that shit in public.”

“And the flowers?”

Eddie fixed Richie with a look. “If you can call them that, you mean.”

“All right, all right, fine.” Richie’s ears went red. “But…Christ, Eddie, why didn’t you tell me?”

Eddie smiled. “I kind of wanted to see what you’d do.” He paused, examining Richie’s face. “I like you too, by the way…even if you did burn a fuckton of cookies today.”

“Oh,” Richie blurted, grabbing his glasses from off of the counter. “Um. Can I kiss you?”

“Wait until I leave, for the love of God,” Stan begged, jolting up from where he had been leaning on the counter.

Richie and Eddie both jumped. They’d obviously forgotten that Stan was still there.

“Looks like your advice was the best after all, Stanny Boy,” Richie grinned after a moment, sliding closer to Eddie and throwing his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. “I was right the first time about which Loser to listen to.”

“Was Stan’s advice to just cut the crap and go for it?” Eddie asked. Richie nodded, and Stan rolled his eyes. They made him sound so ineloquent.

“He always tells it like it is,” Richie said fondly.

“He is truly the best of us,” Eddie agreed. “Now if you don’t mind, Stanley, you absolute gem of a human…get out of here so I can make out with Richie against this disaster zone of a counter.”

“With pleasure,” Stan said, all but bolting out of the door.

He was smiling, though, in spite of everything.

Maybe he was a little romantic, after all.

—-

(And even though he still thought that the other Losers had hokey romantic tactics, when he received a bouquet of flowers from one anonymous admirer and a batch of cookies from another, he couldn’t help but feel warm inside.)