#wait a damn minute it's already 1 PM??????? I swear it was only 11 when I looked earlier

[lovewithoutagony]

thinking hard abt how most (if not all) of the cast can't say no to simeon and honestly so real bc I won't be able to say no to a face card and max aura like that either

edit; back to include some proof ( but only from the magazine thing and not in game bc I've deleted the game but i know and remember that it's been mentioned/ proven time and time again)

also ;

• Lucifer struggling to say no to Simeon's requests

• Solomon frequently facing the same problem

• in his 1st bday event where everyone follows through his wishes WITHOUT EVEN A QUESTION OR DOUBT

[runwithwolvcs]

You Know I'm No Good - t w o

Temptation vs Freedom

Warnings (future chapters): Drugs/Alcohol, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Jealousy, Mental Health, (Mentions of SA, but no details)

I don't like memories because the tears come easily, and once again I break my promise to myself for this day. Its a constant battle . A war between remembering and forgetting.

Back in her darkened bedroom, Tallulah still couldn't wrap her head around her current situation. The rest of the night consisted of her being introduced to people who seemed to know more about her then she had wanted, clearly word spreads fast around La Push. Josie had introduced her to some of her friends that had arrived later, after the tribal stories. Clearly only there for the party. They seemed nice, but they were definitely not the type of people she would choose to be friends with herself.

Lenna had made herself scarce throughout the entire, to which her twin stated was typical behaviour. But Tallulah figured it had more to do with her presence than anything else. Tally couldn't help but look for the tan boy she had locked eyes with, something about him was so alluring. It was almost frustrating, Tallulah Forester doesn't get captivated by anyone, not ever. She was the captivating one, at least that's what Xander had always said. “You're like a tornado, with pretty eyes and a heartbeat. Luring in bystanders until you’ve ruined their lives..That's what I enjoy so much about you”, that was the last thing he had said to her before she had left his house party the night she had been caught. Their relationship was a mess, both of them struggling for control, even if it meant hurting each other in the process. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, but it was all she ever had. She craved it in an almost masochist way.

Tallulah's phone had been off all night, not in the mood to deal with the onslaught of messages she was sure to get, now that she had a moment to breath by herself she figured she may as well read them, 1 5 messages from Lina and 3 missed calls, her best friend, was more than likely freaking out, consumed by guilt over the fact that their lies to their parents had been crossed. 7 messages from Kit, who she figured was already trying to plan how to spin this to make herself the victim, as Kit does, and 1 lone message from Xander, the only one she read before she shut off her phone to go to sleep.

That sucks :(

Was all that it said.

-

After a lot of tossing and turning in the bed that was almost too soft, mixed with the pillows that weren’t soft enough, Tallulah drifted off to sleep. She dreamed of the boy who had taken her by storm, his smile seemed brighter than the sun and the way he laughed was like music to her ears. They were on a cliff overlooking the ocean, she could see that he was talking, but couldn't hear what he was saying, she watched as he stood up and walked towards the edge of the cliff, looking as though he was about to jump, she stood up in a panic--

Tallulah startled awake to Kira shaking her shoulder gently, a soft smile graced her face. It was raining, but Tallulah could tell it was early morning.

“Tally, sweetie, you’re dad and I would like to speak with you before he goes to a meeting” she said quietly, “Get dressed and meet us downstairs in ten minutes,” she spoke, the smile never leaving her lips. Tallulah groaned, not one to be a morning person in the slightest, she swung her legs out of bed, toes touching the cool hardwood floors. She could hear low murmurs outside her door as she heaved herself out of bed, still not used to her surroundings she walked to her two duffle bags and sifted through the clothes before settling on an oversized, green long sleeve to cover the stick and poke tattoos that littered her arms, with ripped, loose, blue jeans. One disappointment at a time, she thought to herself as she got dressed. She grabbed her hairbrush from her bag and ran it through her hair, leaving it to lay in its natural waves down her back before quietly heading downstairs to whatever talk she was awaiting.

She was met with Kira and her father sitting at the kitchen table next to each other, and as they beckoned her over to sit, she noticed the thin, blue rectangle laying in the middle of the table. The same blue rectangle she had so carefully hid in her room back in Seattle, or so she thought. She could feel anger begin to bubble in her belly as realization dawned on her, her mother had been through her room.

She sat expectantly, waiting for her dad to chastise her for using drugs, or even alcohol, as a minor and how that could affect her future, but he looked to Kira to begin. The gentle smile that was near permanent on her stepmom was almost comforting in the moment, almost. “Tally”, She starts, “We are aware of your.. pastimes, in Seattle, however, we will not be encouraging that same behaviour here.” she sounds like a damn counselor, Tallulah thought to herself. She’d honestly prefer being yelled at. “We have a few ground rules that we expect you to follow, as we do Lenna and Josette.” Kira continued, “Under no circumstances, will we allow drugs under our roof, including nicotine,” she says referring to the vape sitting in between them, “Or alcohol that does not belong to your father and I. If you are to partake in these activities and are caught you will have consequences.” She looks at Joseph, as if they had rehearsed their own parts, looking towards her dad expectantly, “Secondly,” He speaks up, “As we expect with the twins, any boy, or girl, that you are,, having relations with, we expect to meet, no sneaking them through bedroom windows.” Tallulah cringes internally, it was one time, she wanted to yell. “Curfew will be 11:00 pm on school nights and midnight on Fridays and Saturdays, no exceptions.. Understood?” he asked, looking at his eldest daughter. She wants to argue with them, tell them that policing her life won’t make her change, not the way that they wanted her to at least. That was something her mother learned the hard way. She had taken the door off her bedroom when she had found out she was sneaking out in the night, which only caused Tallulah to start sneaking out the front door instead, right in front of her.

“You done?” she asks, yawning, this wasn’t new to her at all, and she really didn’t care to be frank. The two adults look at each other, Kira nodding her head in Tallulah's direction, Joseph sighed before tossing a key chain on the table next to her vape. A small house key was connected to what looked like a car key. “Choose one.”

Temptation or Freedom?

Tallulah spent the rest of the day running errands with Josie, who had offered to show her around the reservation. They had stopped at Monets, the local cafe, run by the Littleseas, its the go to hangout spot, according to Josie. Who happens to be friends with Colin Littlesea, the eldest son of the owners.

Tallulah picked at the half eaten muffin sitting in front of her as she waited for Josie to return with a refill of both of their coffees. They were so different from each other, Tallulah drinking hers black, while Josies consisted of mainly cream and sugar, just like their personalities, but for some odd reason they clicked.

The car her father and Kira gave her was originally supposed to go to Josie, so that the twins no longer would have to share their current one. Finding out that alone made her reconsider her choice, at least a nicotine addiction only really affected her, but with a lot of reassurance from Josie, and the simple ask that Tallulah help run her errands eased her guilt. She didn't want to upend the twins' life, it wasn’t their fault her parents decided to force her to move to La Push. While Josie seemed to enjoy her presence, Lenna did not, and it's clear now she was avoiding her.

Tallulah gazed around the quaint yet homey cafe, its hand painted walls consisted of the same trees that surrounded the reservation, it was peaceful. She looked towards the door as it chimed, alerting the staff of new customers entering, a group of extremely tall, good looking men walked through the door, causing the calm energy to shift with their booming laughs, everyone seemed to be used to this behaviour, considering she was the only one to look in their direction.

Her eyes followed the group of boys, taking each one in, by the time she reached the last, he was already looking at her. Paul Lahote. The largest of them all, in height and muscle, she thought to herself as her eyes raked his body.

Josie setting her coffee down in front of her broke her concentration on the boy, her attention fully shifted to her half-sister. “What do they feed the men here? They are all so tall” Tallulah asked jokingly, to which Josie laughed, shaking her head. “Not all of them. Just the ones who hang around Sam Uley. Some people say he's giving them steroids but dad swears against it. So does mom.” She watched Josie grimace, and cut her off before she could correct herself, “--I’ve seen boys roided, they look nothing like them.” she spoke before taking a sip of her coffee. Josie nodded, an almost fascinated look on her young face, “So it's true then..” At this, Tallulah raises her eyebrows, “ what's true?”

“Your mom sent you here because you got mixed up with some guys who did drugs or whatever. At least that's what Lenna said she heard dad say”

Of course she did, so much for a fresh start, she thought.

Tallulah rolled her eyes, “Sort of, I guess --”

Now she was being interrupted, a large looming figure was now standing at the edge of their table, greeting Josie, she watched as the younger girl blushed in response, before saying “Hey, Ethan. Uh, this is my older sister, Tally or um, Tallulah,” Josie fumbled over her words as she introduced her. Tallulah looked up at the towering boy with a half smile, nodding her head as a way to say ‘hey’ , Ethan nodded back before asking, “I didn’t realize you guys were sisters. Do you go to school off the rez?”

Tallulah shook her head, “I did but I just moved here from Seattle. I start at the rez school tomorrow.”

He nods before engaging with Josie in conversation about some project they were working on and she can’t help but look over at the boisterous table in the far corner, she can see Paul and another boy glance at her as they talk, she excuses herself from Josie and Ethan, the coffee in her mug no longer appetizing and itching for her little blue rectangle in that moment.

Tallulah makes her way up to the bar-like counter, the waitress coming to take her order almost immediately. She orders a sweet tea, hoping to wash some of the lingering bitterness from her mouth, hoping it would help curve her cravings. She can feel someone come up next to her but doesn't bother to look who it is as she fiddles with a napkin, the waitress comes to take their order and their voice sounds like velvet in her ears despite the hint of gruffness to it.

“You're Joseph Forester's daughter, right?” She hears him ask, she looks in his direction to see he's already looking at her, a small cocky, smirk toying on his lips. He already knows the answer clearly. She wants to roll her eyes and tell him to fuck off, but she can’t bring herself to do so. So, she nods and softly says, “Yeah, Tallulah.” This causes him to actually smile, like he's thankful she didn’t just blow him off. That hot, cocky persona is nearly untraceable now,

“I’m Paul Lahote.”

[leafs-lover]

Because Two People Got Drunk: 10

Series Masterlist 

A/N:  Italics are your thoughts. I linked some of the outfits, and gifts so you have an idea of what I was thinking in case you’re interested. I don’t

Summary: You give birth to your son and move down to Pittsburgh. You have your first Christmas as a family.

Warnings: Swearing, child birth, fluff, masturbation, Freddie as a dad – not really warning worthy but its super cute J

Word Count: 4035

Chapter 10

November 8, 2021

 A few days later movers came and took everything to Fred’s old place in Toronto. Your lease is up and you planned on staying at his condo, but since you decided to go to Pittsburgh you have to go through your boxes and determine what to bring with you and what to put in storage. Mostly you are sending your clothes and a few boxes of pictures.

He has you look online though for a few items for your son. Just some basic items, change table, bassinet. Fred already has diapers, bottles and a car seat and he says once you are settled you both can go and get whatever else he needs but he just needs some stuff to make do for a few weeks. With you breast feeding he will be starting off in a bassinet in your room, before being moved to his crib when he gets older. You label the boxes with storage and ship labels for the movers.

You have a doctor’s appointment so Fred asked Auston to oversee the movers. You could have gotten one of your friends to come over but Fred insisted on Auston saying he only lived a few floors away so it was easier then someone driving across town through Toronto traffic.

“You sure you’re okay to drive?” you lift an eyebrow at him. “Like how do you fit behind the wheel, you’re already so short so you can’t slide the seat back too far." 

You laugh “yeah it’s a little tight now and uncomfortable. I only drive if I have to.”

“I can drop you off and pick you up. We have time before the movers come.” You think about it for a second before agreeing. “Not having a steering wheel rammed into my stomach sounds nice.”

“So you excited to not be pregnant?” He asks pulling out of the parking garage.

“You have no idea. I’m over it. I’ve loved being pregnant for the most part but now I just want him out. I want to meet him and see if he took Fred’s hair" 

Auston laughs “little red" 

“What?”

“Oh we call Fred big red, so when I found out it was a boy I started calling him little red. I’m really hoping he has red hair.”

You laugh “yeah I hope so too.”

“So when are you going to Pittsburgh?”

“Well I’m hoping this little guy comes soon and then I can fly down with him during the couple days he has off for American Thanksgiving. My due date is the 18th, so I’m just hoping he doesn’t come late. It will be nice to have a couple days to get settled with Fred before hockey starts up again” 

“Yeah, for sure. Fred is really happy you are going to Pittsburgh. I mean he had a 42 shot shutout against us. I would have preferred you tell him after the game so we might have been able to get one or 2 by him, but when he told me after the game he couldn’t stop smiling.” 

“Yeah, part of being a parent is always putting them first and doing what’s best for them. Being around his dad all the time is best. They both need it, and I can take 18 months off so it gives them a lot of time together.”

“Right” he gives you a sideways glance as he pulls up to the clinic “call when you’re done.” 

 Nov 11, 2021 6:00 P.M

You sit on the couch Facetiming with Fred.  

“So I got this bottle warming thing a mom on the team told me about, and a diaper genie. I didn’t know what pump you wanted though, there wasn’t one on the list and I had no idea what to look for. So many brands and features, I felt really out of place at the store.”

“Yeah my friends bought me one and some outfits. Instead of a baby shower we had brunch a few weekends ago.” 

“Okay, do you think we will need anything else right now?” 

“I don’t think so, we have all the” you stop mid-sentence as pain radiates your stomach “aaaah" you take some deep breaths. “(Y/N) you okay?”  

A few seconds later the pain leaves “That was weird. Anyways I was saying that we can get anything else lat -" 

“You just going to pretend that didn’t happen? That might have been a contraction.” 

“Well if it was I need more than one to go to the hospital. Have to time them and if they are around 8 minutes apart I think that’s when I go. He stays on the phone and 16 minutes later you have another one. He keeps timing them and you hear him typing something on his laptop when there is a knock. 

You waddle to the door and see Auston “Fred text said to come and you’d need a ride to the hospital soon.”

“I’m at 14 minutes. I need to be at 8 so still lots of time.” You respond before Fred chimes in “I got to go I’ll talk to you later. But Auston don’t listen to her. She has a bag packed by the door take her to the hospital now.”  

“Fred I’m –“  

“No, go to the hospital. These things can take hours but they can also speed up quickly. I’d rather Auston not deliver my baby in my living room because this sped up and you ran out of time to get to the hospital.”

“Yeah I also am in favour of that not happening.” He grabs your phone hanging up from Fred. He helps you put your coat and boots on, grabbing your hospital bag. “Let’s get that baby out of you" 

He drives you, and comes in with you.  As you get admitted he briefly wanders away to take a phone call before joining you to the room. He sits on the chair beside you and pulls his phone out.

“You don’t have to stay; it’s not your baby" 

“I’m not leaving you alone, besides I promised Fred." 

Is he going to stay during the delivery? Like he has to leave sometime soon right?

 November 12, 2021 - 12:30 am

The anesthesiologist enters the room. “So you are about 8 min apart, how are you feeling?”

“Sore everything is sore. My uterus feels like there is bowling balls being thrown against it all the time. I’m hungry but am only allowed to eat ice chips, which if were being honest isn’t food. So I’m doing great.”

“Well I can’t help with the hunger but I can the pain. Sorry it took so long to get here, but would you like an epidural?”

After you agree Auston steps out of the room briefly. He returns when the doctor leaves.

“Didn’t want to give all natural a shot, I’ve heard it’s not that bad” he states almost laughing. You know he is joking, but you’re not really in the mood. You’re honestly slightly agitated he is still there, would rather be alone then with someone you barely know. “I’m sorry do you have a uterus?”

“No”

“Then maybe keep your opinion on my birth plan to yourself.” You hear a familiar laugh on the other side of the room.

“It’s a good thing I asked you to come, get all the stupid comments out of the way now. So when you have kids one day you won’t piss of your wife” Fred laughs walking into the room.

“What are you -?”

“You honestly didn’t think I would miss this did you? Would have been here sooner but flight was delayed” he interjects kissing your forehead. “Be right back” him and Auston head into the hallway. He returns a few minutes later alone. “How are you doing?” he asks sitting in the seat Auston had been using.

“I’m alright, it’s been like 6 hours and I’m sore, hungry and tired. I’m not allowed to eat so I have to stay hungry, but I could really use a nap but I just can’t get comfortable enough to sleep.” Fred gets up and slides in behind you gently and puts his hand on your leg as you lean back “this might help” you mumble. His hand leaves your leg and starts stroking your hair from your face. “You sure, if I’m in your way or if you get uncomfortable I can move.” As he finishes you nod off.

2:30 A.M.

You are woken by Fred gently shaking you, as he whispers your name. “(Y/N) they are here to do an exam, see how you are doing.” He eases back into the chair as you shift.

“Well you are about 6cm” the nurse says as she leaves the room.

“6, how am I only six centimetres? I need this baby outtt!” you scream.

Fred laughs grabbing your hand. He brings it to his lips giving it a light kiss. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah you should be, you did this to me with your sperm. I’m here in this pain because you got me pregnant.” Another contraction courses through you. He snickers again “If I could take this pain away for you I would in a heartbeat.”

“You couldn’t handle this.”

This causes him to burst out laughing “probably right, want some ice chips?” You nod and he leaves the room.

1:00 P.M.

“Well it looks like it’s just about time to start pushing” the doctor says after completing the exam. “Ready to become parents?” he leaves the room for a few minutes. Fred looks over to you “this is it (Y/N/N).”

“Nope! This isn’t it.” He gives you a confused look “I’m not ready. He is just going to have to stay put a little bit longer. I don’t’ think I can do this, push a human out of me, and become a mom -“

The doctor and birthing crew have returned and wait by the door. “(Y/N/N) come on, you can do this I have no doubt. You have grown this human inside you for 9 months. You have been incredible during all this and have gone through so much and there is just a little bit more and you are a mom. And you’ll be a damn good one too. I have no doubt that you can do this” You just stare at him “okay, let’s do this.”

4:00 PM

You are lying in the bed, eyes fixed on the beautiful baby boy in your arms. Fred is sitting on the bed beside you his arm around you. “He’s perfect” Fred whispers touching his tiny hand. “Yeah he is” you reply rocking the baby.

A nurse comes over to you “do we have a name for Mr. handsome?”

“Uh no” Fred replies “We never found one we liked, thought once he was born something would stick” “That’s okay we’ll just write baby (Y/L/N) for now” the nurse replies as she turns to leave.

“No,” you say “baby Andersen.” Fred’s arm around you tightens as the nurse leaves. He looks into your eyes with tears forming in his.

“You don’t have to do that (Y/N)”

“Is this baby an Andersen?” You question and Fred nods “then his last name will be Andersen.”

Fred kisses your head “now we just need a first name, although I did like Mr. Handsome.”

This causes you to laugh slightly “I need a nap, than we can pick a name.”

Nov 13, 2021

You got back from the hospital not too long ago, Fred has to leave the following morning, it’s been a whirlwind, but you are happy to be home. Fred has Mitch, Steph and Auston stopping by briefly to meet the baby. He tried to cancel to allow you time to rest but you wouldn’t have it, saying this is likely the only time they could see him until Toronto plays in Pittsburgh.

“Oh my goodness he is just perfect” Steph exclaims as she holds him. Mitch leans over and grabs his baby finger and smiles before looking up at you “crazy how this happened because you two got drunk.” Everyone laughs as Steph elbows him in the rib.

“Mitchell!” She yells “what’s his name?”

“Oliver Charles Andersen” Fred says.

December 10, 2021

You have been living at Fred’s for about 2 weeks, the move to Pittsburgh went smoothly. He chartered a small plane for the two of you. After the thanksgiving break Fred had mostly home games, which made the transition pretty smooth.

Oliver has been waking up a couple times in the night, and around 6am in the mornings with you. You have been trying to pump so Freddie can help with the feedings when available but your body is taking longer to produce enough milk, so most feedings have been you. He still wakes up throughout the night and sits with you when he hears Oliver, even on game nights. Oliver has been sleeping in his bassinet beside your bed to make things easier, you try to keep him quiet when he cries during the night but Freddie always hears him and sits with you.

This morning you wake at 9:30, very alarming. You look into the bassinet and it’s empty. You jump up and head to the living room and see a shirtless Fred sitting on the couch with baby Oliver sleeping on his chiseled chest. Fred smiles as you walk in “there is coffee if you want some.”

“Thanks. When did you get him?”

“Around 7 he started fussing, so I went in and got him. You had a little bit of milk in the fridge I gave him.”

“Thanks, I needed those couple hours. When do you have to leave for practice?”

“You don’t have to thank me for doing what any dad should do. And I have the day off.” He pauses for a minute “so it’s getting close to Christmas, I was wondering if you were planning on going back to Toronto for the break?”

“No I don’t think so. I don’t have any siblings and my parents aren’t around. My grandparents are in Europe but have a cruise leaving the 28th so it’s not worth visiting now.” You also didn’t want Ollie to not have both his parents around, not that he would remember but it was his first Christmas. “You have any plans? Family coming down?”

“Nope, I haven’t talked to them much since the summer.”

“Fred I know it’s not my place, but you should talk to them. It’s not a big deal what your dad said to me, honestly I wasn’t that upset about it. But you should think about talking to them, you never know what will happen.

“This isn’t really over what he said to you, some stuff happened after you left Denmark.” He quickly changes the subject “so it looks like it will be just the 3 of us.” You nod staring at his bare chest, your mouth watering “Want to do anything special for his first Christmas?”

“We need a Christmas tree” you exclaim “Like a really big one, 9 feet or something!”

“I have a fake one I normally put up” he says looking at your face as you scrunch your nose “but that clearly won’t do.”

“My parents and I used to go out every year and cut down a tree and then spend the afternoon decorating it and the rest of the house. It was like Santa’s village. Then my parents died and I went to live with my dad’s parents, since my mom’s died a few years before that. My dad was Jewish, and his parents hated that we celebrated Christmas even though my mom was Christian. So I haven’t celebrated Christmas in a while but I always thought when I had a family I’d resume…” you trail off starting to realize this isn’t a family, and that you shouldn’t really create these traditions since some years you may not see your son on Christmas.

Fred stands up, grabbing your hand “Go get ready and we’ll go get a tree.”

It took a bit too get to get everything ready and packed, underestimated packing up a new baby. You wear a pair of knee high black boots with your jeans tucked in “surprised these fit” you whisper as you head to your closet and pull out a white cashmere sweater and tuck the front into your pants before pairing it with a long beige coat and a white toque. You finally head out to the farm, Oliver sleeping in the car seat.

When you arrive at the farm Fred removes Oliver’s car seat and attaches it to a sled before covering him in a couple blankets. You begin walking around the farm looking for the perfect tree. When you finally find it, Fred just stops walking and stares at you. “This is it” you whisper.

“You know” Fred starts “this is Ollie’s first time out” looking down at you. He pulls his phone out and you all take a selfie in front of the tree you picked, big smiles on your faces as Oliver is fast asleep.

You later arrive back home, exhausted. “I didn’t realize taking a baby out was so tiring.” You yawn as Oliver begins to fuss, as you groan reaching into the car seat to unbuckle him. “I can get him” Fred offers, “you don’t have boobs” you respond causing him to laugh.

He follows you to your bed getting you a nursing blanket and your nursing pillow. You sit resting against the head board as Fred sits beside you, you begin feeding Oliver as you doze off. You wake up a little bit later with Oliver in his bassinet and you lying with your head on Fred’s chest, his arm around you resting on your waist. You feel Freddie begin to stir as you look up to his eyes “hey” you whisper. His arm tightens around your waist “hey” he says pulling you closer he kisses your head.

December 25, 2021

It’s Christmas morning, you wake up at 6:00 with Oliver, Fred is still asleep as you make some coffee. You feed Oliver, and change him into his Christmas outfit, a white onesie that says “my first Christmas” with a matching plaid set of pants and hat that have little Christmas trees and reindeers on them. You look to the clock, as your sons big brown eyes look up at you, Fred’s brown eyes “want to go see daddy?” you ask him he smiles. You head to the kitchen making two coffees before you head to Fred’s room.

You slowly open the door and see Fred lying on his back with no shirt, his duvet resting near his waist. His shirt has risen up slightly and you can see a small part of his abs. You set the coffees on his side table as Fred’s eyes flutter open “Merry Christmas” you say, as he shifts to sit up in bed. His eyes are still somewhat heavy, his red hair is a mess from sleeping. You pass Oliver to him as Fred leans down to kiss his sons head “Merry Christmas big buy” he says giving him an Eskimo kiss. The cute exchange practically makes your ovaries explode.

Fred shifts to look at you “Merry Christmas (Y/N)” as he reaches for his coffee. “Merry Christmas Fred” you respond sitting down on the bed beside him sipping your coffee.

Oliver reaches and grabs his toes bringing them to his mouth. Fred chuckles “you got your toes?”

“Flexible like your dad” you quip.

He giggles “I’m not that flexible (Y/N/N)” he responds tickling his sons toes.

You’ve seen Fred be a dad the past 6 weeks. He is a great dad, but for some reason seeing him today interacting with your son has you feeling something different. You have this feeling to put your head on his shoulder and snuggle into him and sit as a family as you both coo over your son. Seeing him in these interactions with Oliver make you weak in the knees.

“I’m going to shower” you say with a smile on your face. You have a long cold shower trying to cool yourself off which didn’t help so you wander to your night stand and grab your familiar toy. You haven’t used it in a while, not since before you were 20 months along, after that Fred took over and helped you during the pregnancy. You were cleared for sexual interaction by your doctor a few days prior.

You lie down on your bed in your robe as you spread your legs and turn your toy on low. You graze it around lightly stroking your clit as you moan softly. You gently push it in, throwing your head back. You begin slowly moving it in and out, not wanting to try too much too soon. Not knowing how your body would respond.

You continue to gently pull it out and push it back in a moan escapes your lips. You bite down on your bottom lip trying to be quiet as you don’t want Fred to hear you. You continue the pace, gradually increasing the speed  of the vibrator as your body allows it. Whimpers continue to leave your lips as you bring your left hand up biting on your forearm as you feel your orgasm approaching. You increase the speed as your legs tighten around you and you spasm coming undone, a moan leaves your lips.

A few seconds later you hear the sound of your son outside your door followed by a “shhh” and then footprints head down the hall. Fuck I think he heard you think to yourself.

You quickly throw on some leggings and an oversized sweater and your Christmas hat. You find Fred in the kitchen holding Oliver as he feeds him a bottle. You walk by Fred kissing Oliver’s head on your way to get another coffee.

“I uh didn’t know when you’d be out of the shower” he pauses “I made breakfast. I didn’t want it to get cold so I put the lid on the pans.”

“Great” you say grabbing two plates and dishing out food as you eat in silence.

You expect the day to be slightly awkward but Fred manages to make it easy so you start thinking maybe he didn’t hear. You agreed to keep it simple for Christmas. Oliver is 6 weeks old and doesn’t know much about what is going on around him. Fred hands you a thin rectangular box wrapped with a little bow, the tag reads love Oliver. “Fred you weren’t supposed to” you say softly.

“I didn’t, Oliver did.” You chuckle lightly removing the paper. You open the box to find a beautiful necklace with a sapphire stone, set inside tiny diamonds with Oliver’s birth date engraved on the back “It’s beautiful, thank you” you say as Fred removes it from the box and places it around your neck doing the clasp.

You hand Fred a small box and he smirks at you “It’s from Oliver” you respond. He chuckles before removing the paper. He opens the box to reveal a leather woven bracelet. It has two charms woven into it, one with a footprint and the other has his birth date. A smile crosses his face “thanks Oliver its perfect” he says tickling your son’s foot before he puts it on his wrist.

During the afternoon you and Fred make Christmas ornaments with Oliver’s hand and footprints and make dinner. Since it was only the two of you opted to make a chicken instead of a turkey as they are smaller, but still was a nice family dinner with some wine Fred picked out.

You’re Outfit for the Tree Farm:

Fred’s Gift to You:

Your gift to Fred:

Oliver’s Christmas Outfit:

Next Chapter

[jungcity]

from saint. | love, eternal.

7:08 AM. 20** 

What should I call you? But hi, diary. I am Saint. Saint Jung. Son of Jung Jaehyun and Y/N Jung. Today, I am seven years old. I asked Daddy Taeyong to buy me a really, really, really old diary. I don’t know where he found you, but I am glad to write on you. 

Mom is busy, so is Dad. They said seventh birthday is important and must be grandiose (I hope I spelled that right). But to be honest, I want it to be as simple as possible. Since I am not really comfortable with parties. Dad insists I should wear suit (it’s itchy), but Mom only laughed at him and told me I should wear something casual.

Mom has been cooking all night long for my birthday. Dad said we could order food in a restaurant, or we could contact a famous chef from Seoul to cook my birthday dishes. I don’t know if this is my birthday or my parents’. I hope that doesn’t sound disrespectful. 

Yesterday, my zipper’s bag snapped open because of its content. Gladly, I am already inside the limo when it happened. My classmates had thrown me an advanced birthday party at school. Judy, Heidi, Gale, and Anika gave me tons of chocolates. I hope I could eat it all but I have to share some for my family. Mom wouldn’t be pleased if I ever get toothache. 

That’s it for today, diary. 

P.S.: I heard Mom and Dad talking about my angel blood last night. I didn’t understand one bit of their conversation. But I hope I will, someday. 

—

8:26 PM, 20** 

Hi, diary. This is Saint Jung once again. We have written letters for our moms today. Miss Rona was pleased to read mine. She said the letter does not look like it came from a seven year old. Oh, I know, you’d like to read one of the excerpts of my letter right? 

Well, here it is: Mom, thank you for shining like a star in our lives. You are the light in the darkness. I love you. And Dad. 

That’s it. Was it too cheesy? I have to give the letter to Mom. I hope she does not cringe. 

—

3:11 PM, 20** 

This is Saint Jung. I already gave the letters to my Mom. She cried. So hard. I was afraid Dad would scold me when he returned from work. But he only sat with me on the veranda.

It’s odd. Because I was wearing my pajamas and Dad was wearing his suit. Someday, I’d like to be just like him.

He wasn’t mad. In fact, he was glad. And we’ve exchanged stories until I fell asleep. 

“Mom cried,” Saint said, lips quivering. Jaehyun’s heart thudded because of his son’s face. He couldn’t believe this bundle of happiness is his own flesh and blood. 

“Because she was so happy to read your letter,” He patted Saint on his head. 

“Really?” the little boy asked, wiping his eyes off tears. Whenever he looked at his son, it was always like seeing the little version of him.

“Come here, bud.” He smiled. Saint sniffed before sitting on his lap, still wiping his eyes. 

“Did I hurt Mom?” 

Jaehyun let out a chuckle, “Of course, not. You made her so happy today. I am so proud of you, Saint.” 

Then he kissed the little boy on the cheek. Saint giggled, flashing Jaehyun his two deep dimples. 

“Will you write Daddy a letter, too?” He asked, hugging his son tighter. 

“Of course, Daddy.” 

The both of them held each other under the stars. With his arms draped around Saint, and the little hands of his son hugging his torso. They stayed like that for an hour. Exchanging little stories about Jaehyun’s work and Saint’s school. 

“One day, I hope you’ll be happy as I am, Saint.” No response. Then Jaehyun heard soft snores from the little boy. He chuckled. Then he carried his son to his bed, tucked him in, and kissed his forehead. 

—

 9:14 PM. 20** 

Summer vacation has started. And we are here in Greece. All of us. Including my other daddies and Mama Yuqi, and Mama Chaelin. Mama Yuqi brought Zion with him. 

Zion, he is my cousin. Mama Yuqi and Daddy Lucas’ son. He told me we should go explore Greece on our own. That boy. If I inherited my Dad’s silent demeanor, Zion inherited Daddy Lucas’ extroverted side. No wonder Mama Yuqi’s always on edge with him. 

But of course, I said no to his offer. You might call me a bore. And I might be a bore. I just do not want to worry Mom. Dad would never like that. Mama Yuqi said Dad is the human embodiment of petrifying when he’s angry. 

 — 

 8:56 PM. 20** 

Dad and Mom fought. Over apples. I don’t know if I should laugh, or cry. It’s their first time fighting. And it’s… because of an apple that wasn’t precisely cut. 

I stumbled upon Mom and Dad hissing at the kitchen. 

“You’ve been doing this for so long, chérie.” Dad said, frustration was clear in his voice. 

“Why are you so sensitive today?” Mom asked. 

Dad sighed of frustration, “Because—” 

“Mom? Dad? Are you fighting?” 

It was obvious that they were. But Mom quickly hugged Dad and pretended to wipe his mouth. “You are so like a child when you eat!” She pinched Dad on his cheek, and I know that hurts. 

“We’re not, baby.” Dad said through his dimpled smile. 

I shrugged and walked straight to the refrigerator and grabbed some milk. “Dad, what is ‘fuck’?”

By my words, Mom gasps. Dad choked on his apple.

“Where did you learn that word?” Mom asked, kneeling in front of me. 

“Zion said it’s a magic word,” I told her, cupping the box of milk with my little hands. 

Mom turned to Dad, “Call Lucas.” She said. Then she looked at me, “That’s a bad word, honey.” 

I blinked, “Is it Mom? But Zion said it is a holy word. Because fuck creates babies.” 

“Call. Lucas. Now!” Mom repeated, there was a warning in her voice that made Dad dashed for the telephone. 

After that, Zion didn’t talk to me for weeks. Because according to him, I ‘betrayed’ our friendship. But then came his birthday, and my gift, he could not possibly say no to that. And he ended up forgiving me. 

 —

 1:37 AM, 20** 

Hi, this is Saint Jung. You’re probably wondering why I wrote this in such late time. I am now eighteen. Eighteen means parties, girls, and trouble. I just came back from one of Zion’s party. Uncle Lucas, (it’s odd to call him Daddy) and Mama Yuqi had gone to another country to celebrate their anniversary. Leaving their house to Zion’s hands. 

Zion. Alone. Mansion. What did I expect?

It was a mess. There was trouble. Zion made out with different girls tonight. 

But I didn’t. No. I did. I did make out with one girl from my class. Her name’s Veina. (Mom will prolly scold me for this)

We made out. And I think… this is so odd. I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be writing this on here.

But her lips, damn, it was like velvet cake against mine. She smelled like lavender with a mix of strawberry. I could not name her scent exactly. She was unique. 

 — 

 3:42 AM, 20** 

I got into a car accident. Right. The good boy Saint in an accident? A nightmare. 

Mom was angry. Dad was furious. 

I feel like shit when Mom cried at the hospital, I hate seeing her cry. And I hate myself to be the one causing her tears. All of my uncles has paid me a visit, with a lot of scolding and pinching ears. Uncle Doyoung was beyond furious, even furious than Dad. With what happened, he postponed giving me a Ferrari. Right. He promised me that car, months ago. But Saint has been a bad boy. 

Zion was laughing and rolling on the floor when he visited me. The only thing that stopped him was the shout of Mama Yuqi. 

And yes. I’d hate to say this, since I don’t want to sound so self-centered and narcissistic, but yeah, a lot of girls had been on the hospital to visit me. Of course, rudeness isn’t in my vocabulary. And I’d feel an absolute jerk if I didn’t show kindness to the girls. Mom is a girl. A woman. Call me old-school, but I believe that when you hurt a girl, it would be like hurting your own mom. 

After all the commotion, Dad sat beside me. While Mom sleeps on the sofa. He sat beside me and I swear, my breath hitched when I saw tears in his eyes. Dad never cried. Or so I thought. 

“Be careful next time,” was his words, before leaning in to me and kissing my forehead. 

I know. Don’t judge me diary. I know it’s cheesy, and unmanly-like. But that’s my Dad. He’s loved every fiber of my being ever since I was born. 

 — 

 11:23 PM, 20** 

I got into a fight. And we had to move houses because of the trouble I’d been into. Worrying Mom is on the very least of my priority. But I guess I’ve been born to worry her. 

Some dickbag in school called Dad an alien. I have to be honest, Mom looked like she’s near her forties. Yet Dad looked like a twenty-three year old man. It doesn’t make sense to me, either. But hearing my Dad being called an alien has sparked an anger inside me I didn’t know existed. 

So I threw the punch. And I hit him until he’s a bloody mess on the school hallway’s floor. Bad temper, I must admit. 

And now we are here. Far from the city. In the middle of the forest. Near Uncle Doyoung’s mansion. Right.

Yes, Zion laughed at me until his chest hurts that he needed a nebulizer to help him breathe again. 

 — 

 4:09 AM. 20**

This is Saint Jung. Twenty-one at long last. I want you to know, diary, that I am writing this entry with bloodshot eyes and alcohol drowning my lungs.

It’s my first time to drink like this. 

But what would you do if your mother and father told you that you’re half-mortal, half-angel? And that you would live a long life. Without a mother. And that your mother would be reincarnated someday? But the take is that she won’t be able to remember you. 

It’s fucked up. It’s beyond me. 

But now I understand. I understand why I seem to have this divinity inside me. Why I could run faster than Zion even in his wolf form. Damn, I should’ve known that something is up with me too, when Zion admitted that he is half-wolf, half-human to me.

I should’ve asked Dad when I felt my system convulsing with power. Of strength. Of something I did not understand then. 

Dad. Wait, diary, I have to process this one. Give me a minute to breathe.

Dad is Lucifer. Right. The banished angel from heaven. The morningstar. The Prince of hell. He is a f u c k i n g angel. And I am a f u c k i n g nephilim. I would’ve ended up not believing it, if only Dad didn’t show his wings. Fuck. Sorry for the curses Mom. I had to.

I couldn’t process this in one night. But I need to. So Mom would never cry in front of my door again. Begging me to open it. 

 — 

 2:29 AM. 20** 

Mom and I, we’ve talked. She showed me a picture of a girl with black hair and blue eyes and told me she was Aurora. Mom said it was her one hundred years ago.

Why am I only knowing all about this now? I don’t have any idea. But I am glad they deemed me worthy for this mind-boggling information. 

Aurora was Mom’s face one hundred years ago. Aurora’s reincarnation was Mom today. 

Mom said she would die one day. Her face would disappear from this world, but her soul will not. She said, with tears in her eyes, that I should wait for her to be back. I should wait for her be reincarnated again. 

She’s my mother. She’s my everything. She’s the only flower in my garden. And Dad. Of course, I will wait for her even it takes her a thousand years to be back.

It hurts. I know that sounds weak. But it hurts. I am hurt. I don’t want to wake up one day without her. I think I’d rather die than be parted away from her. 

“Saint,” Dad called out from behind my door. I stood up and laid the controller on the bed. 

“A minute?” He asked. I nodded and guided him towards the veranda. It was frightening, to see Dad. He was so like me I always thought I’m looking at the mirror every time I stand face to face with him. He could pass as my doppelgänger. No joke. 

“How are you, Saint?” He looked at the horizon of gleaming lights far away from us. 

I propped my arms on the railings before answering, “Wrecked.” There’s no point in lying. Dad could smell a shit from miles away. 

“I was like that when I knew about your mother’s real identity,” He smiled a bitter one at me. “Pushed her away. Like a douchebag in a cliché novel, said your Mama Chaelin.” Then he shook his head while sighing, “But where did all those pushing led me? Back to her.” 

“That’s romantic, Dad. But forgive me if I am too hurt to comprehend.” I admitted. 

Dad put his arms around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. “We have to be strong for your Mom,”

Surprisingly, a hot feeling around my eyes blurred my vision. It took me a while to realized that I was crying. “I can’t lose Mom, Dad. I can’t.” was what I said between sobs.

Dad held me tighter and closer while I sob that night. 

Losing Mom would be my downfall. It is the bane of my existence. I would simply shut down once it happens. 

 — 

 That was Saint’s last entry. He never continued his diary ever again after knowing the truth.

[zodiyack]

Human

Pairing: R x reader

Warnings: Swearing, violence, guns, zombies, death, SPOILERS

Words: 3218

Note: So this is different from the movie in a few ways, one is that R isn’t interested in Julie. He’s interested in the reader who is Julie’s godsister. Also I wrote half of this at like 4 am and I was super tired, and the rest was written today around 12 pm so please excuse any randomness!! Hope you guys enjoy!

masterlist

A pair of eyes were felt on Y/n’s back. It happened a lot recently, but only when she was with Julie outside of the wall. Honestly, it was strange. The only thing with eyes outside of the wall were zombies, and if a zombie was staring at her, wouldn’t it want to eat her instead of just observing her?

The thought could be tested out today. Y/n, Julie, Julie’s boyfriend, and a couple of their other friends were being sent to scavenge by Julie’s father. Guns were brought with them, specific instructions to shoot for the head and not get bitten.

Perry and Nora were the only people Y/n knew besides Julie. Meaning Julie’s boyfriend and best friend. Y/n grew up with Julie, her dad was Y/n’s godfather. They were close and quite similar, but unlike Julie, Y/n preferred staying inside and exploring the house, finding every hiding spot and every hidden thing. She was a rather interesting child.

“Darling? What are you doing on the floor?”

“Hello Father! Mommy told me that I should get used to the house, explore a little since we’ll be staying here for a long time.” 

It wasn’t her fault. Her mother and father moved in with Julie and her father when the apocalypse started. She wasn’t one to prevent anyone from knowing the truth due to their age or innocence, so after her parents went out to scavenge and didn’t come back, she demanded to know what had happened.

Julie’s dad told her that there were monsters and the walls were the only things protecting her now that her mommy and daddy went to go fight them. She knew it was a lie. Her mother told her earlier that day.

“Sweetie...Mommy and Daddy are going to go and get some stuff for us and our group here. We might not come back, so there’s a few things we want you to know. First,” she stroked her daughter’s cheek, then lifting her onto her lap. “Know that we love you, and we always will. Second, talk to Grigio if we don’t come back for a while. And finally. There’s something I need to know you can handle.”

The once innocent little girl nodded quickly, not caring if she could actual handle what was going to be said.

“Good. There are...zombies in the world. Creatures that are undead and feast on the flesh of humans. They have no emotion, no pain, nothing human about them except for the fact that they once were one.”

“Mommy...”

“Yes my darling?”

“Do you think they’ll ever be human again?”

“I don’t know sweetie...hopefully, one day, there will a be a time where humans can be normal again. And the wall will go down, and we won’t have to worry about surviving.”

So that’s what she did. She followed her mother’s instructions, and talked to Julie’s dad. After he had tried to make it seem not very scary, seeing as she was still a young child, she surprised him. She leaned in close to him, the only emotions on her face being sorrow and anger, and she whispered,

“Give me a gun. Teach me how to put a bullet in those fucker’s heads. Let me teach them what happens when you take my family away from me.”

Y/n wiped a tear from her eye, nodding when Julie asked if she was okay. It was no time for memories or feelings. For every year she’s been alive, Y/n got better at her poker face, keeping in her emotions and everything relating to them. She grabbed her gun, sneaking with the group to the small lab.

It was quiet. Safe. They could talk at a normal s-

The “quiet and safe place” was ruined when Nora asked if anyone could hear something. Julie and Y/n said yes, and Julie told Perry that they should bail. If only he listened.

“Oh hey, we can’t just bail, we have orders. Do you have any idea how much medicine the city goes through a month? We need Pharma Salvage to survive, we can’t just abandon our-”

Julie pushed past him, setting her bag on the counter, “You sound just like my dad.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, wasn’t a compliment.”

Nora stepped in, taking a box out of the cupboard and reading it before tossing it to them. “Oh here guys, take some Prozac. Maybe that’ll cheer you up.” She smiled and went back to searching around. However, this time, she stopped and looked over at the window, breathing in. “I told you I heard something.”

Julie and Y/n aimed their guns at the door while Perry walked to it slowly. This made Julie look over to Y/n and exchange looks of confusion. “Perry?” Julie asked.

“We have orders Jules. There’s nothing anyway,” He turned to face the group, making a big mistake and turning his back towards the door. “You’re being paranoid, okay?”

“Perry!”

The door pushed open, a small crowd of the undead beings running in. The one in front tried to attack Perry, only to get smacked in the face with the butt of his gun. Y/n grabbed her stuff and readied herself to rush out, she counted a head count when the zombies first pushed in. There was a very slim chance all of them could make it out.

She knew it was showing fear, but it was the way she could survive and come back to plan a better revenge. That many zombies against a few young adults? That would be a very dumb idea.

Sadly, before she could make it out, someone had shot her. She fell to the ground, bleeding to death. She could hear Julie yelling at whoever shot her, then rushing over to her aid.

“Y/n, come on, don’t do this. Wake up...wake up god damn it!” Y/n felt Julie’s tears drop onto her face. Y/n felt her breath and heart start to slow. Y/n felt herself die.

The light was blinding, yet so inviting...

1 minute.

2 minutes.

5 minutes.

8 minutes.

11 minutes.

Air. Light. Ground. Guns. Guns? Y/n’s eyes snapped open, her head turning quickly to the sound of gunfire and loud groans. She stood up, blinking and observing her body. Arms, legs? Check. Face, feet? Check. Teeth, torso? Che-

She put a hand on her torso, feeling a small item of cold metal in the middle. Was that...a bullet? She lifted her shirt slightly. Not only had she stopped bleeding, but she was moving weird. Wait... didn’t she just die?

“OH MY GOD!!” It was one of the friends Perry had brought along. They screamed at the sight of Y/n.

Y/n was now feeling the urge to pounce on the person who let out the scream. Her eyes turned dark and she gritted her teeth, running at the person and jumping onto them, sinking her teeth into their shoulder. The screams escaped their mouth again, but these ones were full of agony.

Julie yelled a firm, “NO!” when someone aimed a gun at Y/n. She was her childhood friend, and she wouldn’t let her die...again. Not yet. She may have been a zombie, but this decision would be hard on her no matter what choice she made. “Y/n?”

The girl looked up, climbing off the body that had dropped to the floor. She blinked twice, tilting her head and wiping the blood off her chin. ‘I know this girl,’ she thought. ‘Julie?’ She tried to say her friend’s name, but it only came out as moans. Her eyebrows furrowed and she tried to say it again.

Julie hushed her quickly, not wanting to attract any more unwanted attention. The zombies had already left. Julie’s mom died, making Julie and her father’s worlds hurt like hell. Perry was killed, and Julie’s world was broken. Y/n died before Perry, causing Julie’s world to break even more. Now Y/n was part of the undead, trying to eat her old friends. Julie’s world had officially split in two. 

Was this hell? Was this because she was alive at the time where others who didn’t make it into the wall died? Was this her punishment for surviving and not thinking twice about it? Was this the world’s revenge for all the zombies she’s killed?

It didn’t matter now, ‘cause whatever had sparked in Y/n was gone. All she felt was hunger. It was clawing it’s way into her mind. She charged at another one of the people that was brought with them. She ate as if it was a feast. The others took it as a sign to get the hell out of there, leaving Y/n behind with final looks of sadness and guilt.

. . .

She had been wandering. It’s been what felt like hours. She was hungry again, and that kid had some cheesy memories. Y/n discovered the memory thing after eating Perry’s old friend. She wished she could have more, so she could feel whatever it felt like to be human again.

What was her name again? Y/n/n? No... Y/o/n/n? Y/n! That was it! The zombie part of herself was catching up, and she needed to hold on to whatever was left of her memories. There was a reason they were at that lab...Ah yes, to get Grigio those medicines for the city. But why did Y/n run? She couldn’t remember.

Y/n left the lab after she had finished the brain. Now she wanted to either find more, or to find the other zombies. Any one of the two would be fine with her.

Eyes.

Sorry, what I meant was; Y/n felt a strong number of eyes on her back, eyes on her front and eyes just on her in general. This was new. She had only felt eyes on her back before, so this could mean a good or a bad thing. 

Screeching came from above her, whatever had made the noise hopped down. She turned, as quick as she possibly could. A skeleton? When the fuck did those start moving around and talking on their own?

She didn’t have time to answer that question, ‘cause more skeletons were dropping down and nearing towards her. They looked angry, and honestly, Y/n didn’t want to piss off anything that could kill her again. For the first time...she was afraid.

“R-rrun.”

Her head snapped over to the new voice. He was the zombie that had been stalking her, same red hoodie and dark hair. He could talk though, and zombies can’t talk. He dragged out letters with his breath...or what would’ve been breath if he was alive. He stuttered over some of them, not used to speaking human words.

Y/n didn’t move. In response to her choice of action, the zombie leaned in closer to her, whispering a warning that would hopefully change her mind.

“Thhhhhey k-k-kill a-annything in t-their wa-a-ay.” He turned to face her fully, grabbing her jacket sleeve and pulling her away from the area slowly. They sped up the farther they got.

Finally, they arrived at a plane, which the zombie helped Y/n into before he got in himself. He put on a record and sat down, studying Y/n. It was nice to have company in the place he called home. Maybe she was like him?

“M-my naame is R...Cc-an you sppeeeak?”

She only turned to him and let out the lazy moan he was all too used to hearing.

“H-hhmmm...”

Maybe she wasn’t like him then. She was like the other zombies, who could only let out moans and groans. R and his best friend could speak. Well, R’s best friend could speak a little bit, he could say a few words. R and him had conversations. And in the conversations, it was mostly breathing out H’s and other letters. It was the best they could do, they’re zombies for goodness sakes.

There had to be something he could do. Could he teach her? R looked over at Y/n again, she was picking up objects and inspecting them with great curiosity. Yes. That’s what he would do. He would teach her how to be like him. He would teach her whatever she needed to know about zombies and boneys, as well as what he thought would be nice to know.

He knew her name from the lab. He knew stuff about her from Perry’s brain. He knew things about her from watching her whenever she visited the other side of the wall. Y/n L/n was a killing machine who had been killed by someone from her own side. R felt like it was now his responsibility to care for and guide Y/n.

He felt human whenever he saw her. Now, she was dead, like him. R looked back down at his lap. He still had some of Perry’s brain with him... R grabbed out a chunk and looked over to Y/n. She was observing the new environment again, her face making new emotions at different objects. She reminded R of himself when he had first looked at the foreign items.

“Hhh-hherre.” R tossed her the chunk. He watched her eat it quickly, as if she had been starved and was eating the first meal she’s had in weeks. Once she was finished, she looked up at him.

“Thhhak yyyoo-” She couldn’t quite form whole words yet, but it still made R happy. He taught her every day for the two months she’d been with him. They grew closer and closer. Some would say they were in love. 

However, they were undead. They couldn’t feel human emotions.

. . .

“Y/n? You okay?”

Her eyes blinked open slowly, looking around and taking in the oddly normal world. Julie and Nora were at her sides. “Shit. What happened?”

“You and that boyfriend of yours took a nasty fall into that fountain...do you not remember?”

“R!” The boneys were catching up. It was a dead end. They were done for.

The zombies teamed up with the humans after Julie found Y/n and R. She stayed with them for a while, finding the presence of her childhood friend comforting, even if she was a member of the undead. Neither Y/n or R tried to eat or attack Julie. And later, Julie found out that her time with her godsister had done something to her and the other zombie. It made them feel alive, human.

R and Y/n found the rest of the zombies, spreading the warmth into their hearts as well. They were dead, yet alive.

Unfortunately, not all undead things liked the thought of becoming human again. The boneys were angered beyond belief, and now, the zombies just counted as another one of their food sources. Y/n was forced into hiding, she was the one the boneys blamed, so she was the one they wanted to kill first.

R had gone to find Julie, she was their only hope. He found his way through the secret entrance and exit Julie showed them. He made it into the city, finding Julie right away. Nora met R fully that night, and Julie and her gave R a makeover. They taught him how to pronounce words, how to speak the most human-like he could. Then, they brought him to Grigio to inform him of the zombies changing and the boneys plotting.

Y/n saw the door. Their last chance to make it out. It was so high though. There was a chance they could die and not come back. She grabbed onto R’s hoodie, clinging to him with tears forming in her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her head.

“You okay?”

“N-no R. I-I doon’t want tto lose y-yyou.”

“You won’t.”

The boneys got to the door just as R turned around and leaned backwards. Y/n was in his arms, and he was protecting her from the fall. They held onto each other tightly. R’s back hit the bottom of the fountain slowly, and Y/n fell unconscious.

The black out of her mind didn’t last long. She woke up, spitting water out and coughing. She breathed in the air that was much needed. Her heart was... her heart was beating. It was racing. Where was R? She looked around, panicking. He was still underwater.

She dived into the water, reaching for his limp body and pulling him back up to the surface. “R please! Don’t do this to me! Please! Please...”

R’s eyes snapped open and he breathed in heavily. He smiled at Y/n. She smiled back and smashed her lips against his. R responded and kissed back. Their kiss was full of passion, relief, and joy. Pretty good for a first kiss, and that was said for both of them.

After a few more seconds of kissing, Y/n pulled away. She looked into R’s eyes, once grey and dull like her’s and the other zombie’s, now full of color. Her eyes had done the same. R’s eyes were a beautiful shade of blue, and Y/n’s a breathtaking shade of e/c.

Before anything else could be said or done, R was shot in his shoulder. Y/n turned quickly, it was Grigio. Of course it was.

“Get away from my goddaughter.”

Y/n yelped. She clung onto R. She kept asking if he was okay in between glares at her godfather. He was bleeding. Bleeding. “Stop it! Grigio, he’s alive! I am too! We were both...what the...Grigio. Grigio, he’s bleeding! Corpses don’t bleed!”

Grigio lowered his gun slowly. He didn’t know Y/n came back as well, he thought she was hiding from the corpses. Julie had told him that she saw and talked to Y/n, so it wasn’t entirely his fault for thinking so. But now, he had learned the truth of R and the other undead beings, and he was just going to have to live with it. The rest of his team put down their guns as well.

“See he’s...” Dizzy. Y/n felt dizzy. ‘Splash.’

“R?”

“Yes Y/n, your friend R?”

“Boyfriend actually.”

All three of the girl’s heads turned, facing the now bandaged and cleaned R. He put on new clothes and combed his hair. He waved at them and walked closer.

“Look at you, all fancy and stuff.” Nora teased R. “Now, come on Julie, lets leave the lovebirds alone, okay?”

Julie followed Nora after hugging her godsister goodbye. Now that they were gone, R moved over to Y/n, hugging her into his side with one arm. They sat like that for a moment.

“R. Do you think you remember the rest of your name?”

“No...Sadly not.”

“Do you think it was anything like Roy? Richard? Ricky? Riley? You can change your name if you’d like, since this is kind of a fresh start for you.”

R looked over to his girlfriend, he let out a chuckle at her determined expression. “How about just R.”

“Just R?”

“Just R.”

“Well, R, what do you wanna do with your life now?”

“Hm...how about we just be human for now.”

“I like that idea.” So the two humans sat on the rail of the bridge, watching the sunset. Y/n leaned her head on R’s shoulder and smiled. He loved his human, before she was even his. She once loved her zombie and he once loved his zombie. Now, she loved her human and he loved his human again.

[chyrstis]

WlP Thursday

I swear, I’m not completing these late on purpose! I was this close to having it ready only to blink and realize that posting it around 11 PM wasn’t doing myself any favors. But this was a much needed break from any and all resume frustrations, and between that and wanting to pick every word apart right now, I feel like stress is definitely having a field day.

Tagged by a bunch of amazing people: @softmillers @sharky-broshaw @tommymillers @amistrio @teamhawkeye @scarlettkat86 @fadedjacket @fromathelastoveritaserum​ . Thank you all, by the way! <3

Tagging: @shallow-gravy​ @seedlingsinner​ @risenlucifer​ @tomexraider​ @redroci @finefeatheredgamer​ @geronimo-11​ @ma-sulevin @guileandgall​ @painterofhorizons @sneaky-apostate​ @ofravensandgenesis​ @dirtgirl​ @raisinghellinotherworlds​ @shelliechen​ and @ariestals​! I’d also love to extend the tag to anyone interested as well! If you’re excited about your work I don’t want you missing out on a chance to post it.

-

First up, I figure I should share some more Sharky/Hana, because it’d just be wrong not to. And this is immediately after the accidental kiss that they decided needed to happen which I’m 150% on board with

---

That should’ve brought his cheek in range. Instead, she got his mouth. Felt his comment as it cut off abruptly so his lips could press against hers, and it lasted all of two seconds before they broke apart.

“Oh, God. I-“  

Hana’s hands flew up. Not to actually do anything, but they hovered in front of her as she took a step back and kept her eyes aimed in front of her. Parked right on his chest, right on the words that stood out on its front, and felt her mouth open and close a good couple of times before anything actually came out.

Shit. Shit.

“You’re telling me,” Tracey replied, and dear lord, that had actually slipped out of her mouth without her meaning to.

From off to the side Hana could see Tracey stifling a laugh, and it took a Herculean amount of effort to chance a look up past Sharky’s chin. But seeing him wide-eyed and with his jaw hanging open at her killed whatever nerve she had left, and she started pointing towards the door.

“I’m just…let me get back to you on that.”

She was out before another word could be said, and tried not to stop until she’d cleared the hall and heard the door close behind her.

Stupid. Just… God, why would you-

She knew her face was burning, and couldn’t shake the feeling off. None of it, as it settled in her stomach, tying itself into a series of knots that never seemed to end, and knew that throwing coffee on top of that was probably going to be a disaster.

But she’d do it. All while knowing just how ridiculous she was being, and just how fast she was walking.

You’re an adult. Just cool it, take five to clear your head, and you can fix this. Talk your way through it, tell him it was an accident, and everything’ll go back to normal-

“Hey, H? Hana, seriously! Wait up!”

She cut into a side room and pressed her back to the wall. Didn’t move a single thing as her heart hammered against her ribs, and she listened. Running footsteps sped past that spot, Sharky’s voice following them through the hall, and she waited until both faded.

---

Second, I feel like I already posted this a while back, but I’m not about to check my tags from last year. Also from Hana’s next big fic and incredibly rough around the edges too, but let’s not worry about that right now, self

---

The roaring of the plane’s engine faded, leaving the immediate area. It would likely come back for round two, but for now it was far enough way for her to actually take stock of her current position.

She stood still, running through the past few seconds as they remained braced against the wall, and when she finally looked up at him, she noticed John’s sunglasses were missing. They had been knocked clear off of him sometime in the last minute, with no hope of ever being found at this rate. Even his hair was starting to look worse for wear, no longer fully slicked back and neat.

John, on the other hand had his eyes set right on her. So blue, and so damn perplexed it would’ve been hilarious in any other situation than this. But this wasn’t a one-off moment where they were messing with each other over the radio and he was miles away. No, he was right here in front of her, and rapidly looking more and more pissed off by the second.

Her mouth went dry. Fuck.

She scrambled to back off, but he kept on her, only a beat behind. Her revolver was right by her side. If he went for a gun, maybe she could swing it in front-

The floor ran out from beneath her before she could think to do anything else.

Part of the wall had been blown out in this area of the building, leaving a hole large enough for anyone to fumble through. Or in her case, to fall through, as she felt herself tumble backwards. She idly caught a second instance of confusion gracing John’s features, and wanted to laugh.

Two for two. For that she deserved a prize.

---

And finally, something from the No-Cult AU, because 1) the fic in question here’s one section short of being done and 2) it’s the kind of lighthearted nonsense I’m badly in need of right now.

---

“Having trouble?”

With his sunglasses still down, he’d angled his head just enough to be able to keep the lone eye he cracked open on him, and Sharky side-eyed him as he dragged his tank off.

“Yeah, it’s hot. I’m fucking swimming over here and you’re telling me you’re not?” He twisted it between his hands and squeezed, and John’s nose wrinkled at the gesture. “I’d have shed more than half of that shit after ten minutes.”

“Clearly, judging from your current state,” John said, opening both eyes to look at him. “But I wasn’t referring to any of that. It’s hardly been five minutes, and you’re all but vibrating in place. Is it really that difficult to stand still?”

Sharky gave him a withering look. “You kinda forget the part where I’m working to pay you off? And the longer I take, the longer I gotta do any of this?”

“You can take ten to rest. You can take fifteen even. If you’re tired you get injured, and if you’re injured you can’t work. Defeats the purpose of any of it, doesn’t it?”

“Well, yeah. But-”

“Believe it or not, I don’t want to see you hurt again.” John sat up, and leaned towards him. “And I’m in charge here still, aren’t I? I could order you to sit here for however long I wanted, but I won’t.”

A frown had crept in, but Sharky let it go. “Yeah?”

“Yes, because that won’t get either of us what we want, and right now I want you healthy and thinking clearly. You, on the other hand, want to be debt-free, and I think I may have found a compromise. Now, I did mention that I wouldn’t be throwing orders at you to sit still. That’s still true, but a bet? That might be more to your liking.”

“…A bet?”

John’s lips curved into a wicked smile. “That’s right. A bet. Interested?”

[halitophobia]

Blind Eye - One

Pairings ⟶  OC x Hank's Daughter! Reader (TEMPORARILY) , RK800! Connor x Hank's Daughter! Reader (EVENTUALLY)

A/N ⟶  Hello! I'm a little new to the DBH world, but I'm in complete awe of the story and Connor haha....anyways, I have been thinking about writing a series for him for a while and decided to go for it. This is mainly for testing the water - I'm not new to writing fanfiction or Tumblr (at.all.), but sure am new to putting my own work out to the public. So here goes nothing...(P.S. I'd absolutely love feedback and constructive criticism ! Truly ! TRULY.) Uh.. P.P.S. This is basically chapter one - just want to see how it goes :)

Disclaimer ⟶  I for one, obviously do not own any of the characters from the DBH universe whatsoever

Warnings ⟶  (for this blurb specifically...) quite a handful lots of swearing, violence, mentions of death, stubborn reader, stubborn Hank, spoilers...? (for this series...) slow burn, sLoW bUrN, SLOW BURN, alcohol abuse (Hankster), all warnings from the blurb, angst, toxic relationship, eventual....fluff, happiness, cute stuff, flustered Connor, flustered Reader, all the gushy-ness, and ?????smut?????

Word Count ⟶  3000

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 

----

NOV 5th, 2038 - 11:53:07 PM

         You hang up your phone, eyes covered from your damp palm, and let out a breath you hadn't realized was being withheld. Your hand sloppily drags down your face, and you squint out the car window. The streams of rainwater on the glass blur the scene, resulting in hues of spinning red and blue. You huff, narrowing your eyes at...seemingly nothing. You shouldn't even be here. You shouldn't have given in. If it weren't for the damn situation back at your apartment, you'd probably be enjoying a searing-hot shower; or better yet, shamelessly devouring an excessively large bowl of sugary cereal.

"Miss?"

         You're pulled away from your somewhat pleasant thoughts by the gruff taxi driver sitting in front of you. You sniffle by accident, revealing other unwanted emotions, and swirl your hand in your bag. Silently praying to yourself, you wait for something circular and cold, or thin and crumpled to brush your fingers. 

After a solid minute or two, your hand tightens on a cluster of bills. You yank them out, thrusting them toward the man. Avoiding his gaze, quite obviously, you knit your brows together, really hoping you don't have to say that famous line...

"S'all I have." your voice annoyingly childish.

He scoffs. "You're lucky I don't have enough energy to argue."

         With your eyes still locked on the door cupholder, his hand slaps yours. You feel his chewed fingernails scrape your palm, the money following suit. He grumbles something about getting out of the vehicle, which you gladly act upon.

         Entering the delightful weather, you squint your eyes and do your best to use your hand as a visor. Scurrying past members of the crew whining like toddlers, you stop before a line of familiar yellow tape that keeps you from your destination.  An officer standing on the opposite side warns 'unauthorized persons aren't permitted past'. Tell me something I don't know...

         Your lips part, a snappy remark waiting patiently at the back of your throat, when a short plump man waddles toward you.  

"By God, is that actually you, Y/N?" he awkwardly chuckles, eyes halfway shut from the rain trickling down his forehead.

"Detective Collins," you reply, forming a tight smile.

"Let her in, the big man requested her." he smiles back.

         Reluctantly, the officer lifts the tape, watching you swoop under. You straighten out and wait for the white-haired man to start blabbering about how long it's been.

"It's been a while, huh? Was just starting to get used to not having you around." he teasingly grins, bumping your shoulder.

         Nodding, you follow him onto the porch of a house simply waiting to crumble apart. The detective continues to talk about what it had been like after your absence and you flutter the collar of your heavy coat. Feeling your throat physically invert from the horrid stench, you grimace, shaming yourself for forgetting about this part of the job. Your ears truly tune into his voice as he starts to talk about the case. The dusty clogs in your brain begin to turn, grasping at key facts such as 'presumed murder weapon is a kitchen knife', 'no sign of a break-in', and 'owning an android that is nowhere in sight'. You can't help but pull back your top lip in a hateful snarl. You don't like that word. You don't like that word at all. In fact, you never did. Shaking your head, you glance around, taking in both the chaotic environment you basically grew up in, and the evidence gleaming before you.

         Lowering yourself eye-to-eye with the...late Carlos Ortiz, your gaze wanders over his abdomen. It's grimly decorated with multiple stab wounds which you can't help but study closer. Your eyebrows slightly lift, and one might think you were unimpressed, but you were just amazed at the rage embedded within the victim's gut.

"The victim fled to...the living room." a young voice claims, making your focus falter.

What's an intern doing at a place this brutal?

         As the question floats through your mind, every muscle, pulsing vein, and wavering breath coursing through your body comes to a halt - for that is when you hear it. Or should you say him. No, I really shouldn't...

"And he tried to get away from the andro- what the fuck?" you close your eyes, preparing yourself for the new crime scene to unfold. Here we go...

"Y/N? What the...wh..." his knowing voice somewhat amuses you; you've never heard him this...speechless.

         Steadily, you bring yourself to full height, still not having turned to see the Lieutenant. Feeling that instinctive mode envelope you, you tug a spiteful grin from your lips, finally shifting to see-

"Hi. Hank." his name crawls out of your mouth like a shiny, black beetle.

         You watch his eyes widen, only to shrink into slivers. His mouth recoiling into that signature frown, and his breath creating angry puffs of steam. "What the hell do you think you're doing here?" he spits, crossing his arms over his chest. Same old geezer.

You scoff. "That's no way to greet your little girl."

         He glares harder and makes threatening strides toward you. "You are not my fucking little girl." he shoves a finger at you, "You better get out of my fucking way. This is my case, and you are not going to be involved." You raise your eyebrows, pretending to be shocked by his filthy mouth.

"And that's definitely no way to speak to your little girl."

         His yellow teeth come to show and he growls at your ignorance. "Ben! Get your ass in here!" his words are poison. Within seconds, the round detective makes his way through, a knowing and pained expression pressed into the creases of his face.

"Hank?" a nervous crack in his voice says it all.

"Why on fucking earth would you let this snake onto the crime scene!" Hank fumes. You laugh and shake your head. Naturally, you sense fellow detectives and crew seep their way into the living room. Audience is right on time... "She's villainous, disastrous, manipulative, and downright fucking evil!"

         You nod, shrivelling your nose, "You're one to speak, Hank." letting some loose hairs fall in front of your eyes.

         He tousles his hair in disgust, "You really think they're just going to hand you your job back and everything will be fine and dandy?" Hank shouts, saliva shooting out between his teeth.  

"Captain Fowler has been desperately trying to get me back on the team, calling me constantly like a horny frat boy!" you claim, making sure your voice comes level to his. "So, sorry to break it to you, but it's clearly already happened."

"I can't believe it! I can't believe it's happening again!" he turns away, circling back to you. "You just get to clip clop your fucking way back into my life and career without having to pass one goddamn obstacle!" his fingers tug at his grey locks, sweat collecting at his hairline.

"Oh yeah, life's tough, huh Dad? Not having to pass an obstacle, ever been kicked out of your own home with only thirty-two fucking bucks clutched in your hand and a bottle of beer in the other?" you bark, acknowledging the others in the room is long gone from now.

"How many times are you going to bring that up!? You decided to bring that absolute bag of shit in my house and have the audacity to let him stay!"

"You didn't have to throw us out!" your throat is stinging now. Your blood is scorching hot, and your jaw is nearly if not fully cemented together. "Drunk off your fucking mind, shoving us out the door and throwing glass bottles at our heads, I mean, what kind of father were you?!"

"You don't get to do that." his voice descends two octaves; dangerously steady. "Y/N Anderson, you do not get to fucking do that." your eyes have now burned into his and you find yourself digging crescent moons into your palms.

"Who's to say?" your words also deep and slow. You're leaning in to size him up, warn him, threaten him, whatever you want to call it.

"Lieutenant and Detective Anderson! If you two do not calm yourselves the fuck out, I'll have no choice but to remove both of you from this ca-" Ben's still here? Since when?

"I am not an Anderson." you correct.

         Hank breaks the deathly-still eye contact and moves his head to inspect a crack in the wall. He shakes his head and mutters under his breath.

"You never were."

        Your eyes pop open and that withering fire ignites inside you once again, electricity rippling down do the minuscule hairs on your fingers. "Fucking come again?" you yell, moving to get right into his face.

         Let's just pause, shall we? This is the same pattern you two always fall into. You say something to sting him, he finds a way to bite you back, and you get offended. It's your stubbornness you've never gotten rid of. This mass of steel in the both of you, sitting at the bottom of your stomachs, never ever willing to budge. You've both a tree trunk up your asses and what's happened in the past has done quite the opposite than removing them. Just...come on, listen to this. This argument is a bicycle missing its back tire - going to go absolutely no where. This acid you throw back and forth, a cute duel of 'hot potato', engraves wounds to the both of you; it never ends. Honestly, you don't think it ever will. And what could have ever happened to cause a world war between the two of you? Let's just say these past few years have been utterly devastating and neither of you have taken it well.

         Exactly four minutes and twelve seconds go by, and your hand is latched onto the Lieutenant's throat. His hands are suffocating your biceps, and in return, you decide to start kicking. Detective Collins wraps his arms around your waist, effortlessly pulling you away from your 'opponent'. You see a young man do the same to Hank - a little less effortlessly.

"Get the hell off me!" your father rages, whipping his arms from the brunette's grasp.

         You sharpen your eyes and study Hank's ‘partner’. No. fucking. way. "This your little pet?" you rip your arms from your restrainer and proceed to enter the fighting arena. "After all that's happened, you end up getting a weasel to train. And even better, it's a fucking android?" your words are deadly now. You feel betrayed. Backstabbed. Run over by a damn bulldozer.

         There's a slight hesitance in Hank's response, and to you, it only plasters upon his face, a large sign reading 'WARNING! I'm a loser!' "I wasn't-" he starts, but you're just too quick.

"An android!" you repeat, everyone already knowing the taste of your venom from the first time.

"Y/N dammit, will you let me-" Hank's voice is wavering, ever so slightly. Of course only you notice.

"This thing will corrupt the case! You really want to trust scraps of polished metal and plastic hair? It doesn't understand emotion or motive! How will it ever track down a suspect?" you growl, twisting your wrist within the steel rings holding you back.

"Telling me I had the audacity to invite a guy home," you continue, "yet you have the audacity to work alongside this piece of junk; the cause of-" you can't help it. It still hurts. Your words are discarded due to the contraction of your throat. Pull it together, no time for this shit. You cover it up, in the mere seconds of weakness. "I bet it’s got a name, huh? This your new so-"

"I did not agree to work with this thing!" his rotten finger is thrown at the bot, "I don't even remember the fuckin' name!" he says this as if he's defending himself.

"My name is Connor. I am the android sent by Cyb-"

"SHUT UP!" your voices in-sync, a combined evil no one would ever want to cross.

----

         Satisfied by the first...'warning', Connor pivots away, wandering back toward the kitchen. Both your voices are woven with malice, he considers. Your blood is pumping at immense speed, and if it weren't for your human forms, you'd have already combusted by now. The emphasis on your sentences make it very difficult for him to differentiate swear words from others. Pausing for a beat, he peers over at you, deciding to analyze.

ANDERSON, Y/N

Born : D/M/2014 //  Short Order Cook (currently unemployed) 

Criminal record : Pick-pocketing, shop-lifting

         Moving along small hints about you, Connor shifts his attention to your E/C eyes. Despite the low light, he notices the skin surrounding them is vaguely swollen and pink. Below them, your cheeks are gently stained - from rain? His processors scratch that thought. Probability claims...

Subject has been crying. (approximately 45 minutes ago)

Stress Level : 100%

         Moving his attention directly across from you, Hank's level of stress is no lower. Connor sees Detective Collins making a phone call to Captain Fowler, only to be immediately rejected. It's midnight on the last day of the week, Captain Fowler doesn't give two shits.

         Duty sprinkles itself back onto the android's head, and he turns directly toward various splatters of thirium. Easily, he drowns out your agitated argument, and continues on with solving the case.

----

         You're out of breath. Completely and utterly out of breath. Your chest is heaving, your jaw is sore and your brain is dangerously pulsing in your skull. You've expectorated every single insult and swear your tainted ears had ever taken in. Your shoulders ache, for Detective Collins had restrained both of you a little while ago; either protecting you from each other, or the others daring to stay in the room. From the outside, you and your old man look like feral wolves, battling for the role of Alpha - except this is just family dinner; without the handcuffs of course.

         The other officers have managed to have you on the opposite side of the living room, wraith still oozing from your pores. Hank looks as though he's on the brink of a stroke. He's drunk and probably already engaged for a second round of bickering. Bickering? Yeah..yeah we'll call it that.

         This is why you shouldn't have come. You knew - every atom in your damn body knew something bad was going to happen. During the call before being dropped off, Captain Fowler insisted Hank wasn't going to show up. You'd gotten these calls over and over again. Your father's attendance had been downright awful. From what you've been told, people will find him hunched over bars, head low, and buzzing with alcohol. You laugh bitterly at the thought - nothing's changed. Hank Anderson everyone, yes, also known as the fucking prick of the year and Mr. My-Daughter-Can-Eat-Shit-For-All-I-Fucking-Care.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Whadd'ya doin' with that chair?" Hank's voice is harsh and dry.

         Everyone's eyes are now drawn to the android that is currently shuffling a fucking chair out of the kitchen. Dumb fuck...

"I'm going to check something."

Wow. Its voice is annoying. Its walk is annoying. Its uniform is ugly. Its snappy remark is really just- I mean, how could he do this to you? You stare at your father and squint your eyes. He barely looks itched by that thing. In fact, he looks amused. By instinct, you're butthurt. In a different reality, happening at the same time, he's just shot you in your back and made out with your fifth grade teacher. At least, that's how you'd imagine it. Painful and disgusting.

         Clearing your littering thoughts, you glance around. Most of the team had moved back outside. You're just leant on your right hip, arms still clipped behind your back and you realize your nose is getting pretty fucking itchy. Ruthlessly, you rub your nose against your shoulder, earning a snort from Detective Collins. Oh, so he finds this funny...

"That asshole got his hands back," chucking your temple toward Hank, "why can't I?" you challenge, prepping for an argument toward Ben.

         You watch his double chin twitch, his lips parting and coming together. He's afraid of you. Weighing in the facts, you don't think it bugs you as much as it should. To keep it that way, you roll your eyes and shift to your other hip.

"Connor, what the fuck is going on up here?"

So the bitch calls it by its name. 'I don't remember its name' my ass...

         A pause indicates its dead. Or gone. Both would be great. "Sounds like your puppy's ran away." you show an exaggerated pout, "Con Con's gone gone." The silver-haired man glares at you, brewing up a comeback.

"It's here, Lieutenant!"

Of course.

         The next 10 minutes consist of crew members hustling in and contemplating what to do with the assailant. You're long forgotten, wrists still enveloped in crisp metal. You watch the scene unfold, seeing a dark-skinned bot sulk past you, its 'hands' in the same situation as yours. You could cut yours off, knowing you have something in common with it.

         As the posse mosey's on by, you burn holes into the side of your dad's head. Thouroughly enjoying the bird he sends your way. Then, due to the flow of movement, you catch...eyes with it. Your face scrunches up and you hold back every nerve sizzling to attack - you know your limits; especially with cuffs.

         It holds eye contact with absolutely no emotion whatsoever. That is, until you see the corners of its mouth lift ever so fucking slightly. And just as you glance down to examine the expression, it's completely gone before your eyes. Was...was that a fucking smile? This collection of plastic and wires has the fucking nerve to fucking smile at you?

Oh, you've just dug your own grave, Siri.

----

I think I’ll definitely start chapter two.

[kittensjonsa]

Otherwise, Engaged

The Proposal AU

Summary: Sansa has to get through a tough weekend. Her boss, weekend with the family and saving her job. Oh, right, and a fake engagement too.

---

Sansa could feel her heart thumping in sync with the throbbing in her temples. Five more minutes.. just five more minutes please.

He was always early and almost everday he would step in just three minutes shy of nine o' clock in the morning. And here she was internally screaming at the line at Starbucks, moving at a glacial pace.

“Okay thanks!” Sansa hollered at the ruddy boy, the same one whom she greeted every morning when she stopped by to get her cuppas. Lucky for her, he knew exactly what her order was and all she needed to do was swipe her credit card. He was her life saver. Scrambling into a cab, she prayed, at least she'd get there a minute before her boss.

Sansa knew she should have stopped at one chapter but a wave of inspiration came over and one chapter became three - and the next thing she knew she jumped, awakened by the loud metal clang of her stationery holder that must have toppled onto the floor in the midst of her slumber.

“Oh shit! Hold please!” Sansa sighed in relief and mumbled her thanks as she rushed into the lift. She could still make in time.

8.56 am. Whew.

But of course like most of her days, it all turned to shit in a split second.

“Son of a! Nooo!” a warm sensation pooled at her chest, one of the coffee cups had smashed onto her black dress as the mail boy she raced into frantically picked up the envelopes strewn all over the floor.

“Arrghhh!” Sansa screeched and glared at him as she stomped to her desk. Angrily, she punched her computer start button. Nothing ever goes right. Nothing. 8.57 am.

“This will have to do. Jeyne will have to do without this shirt for one more day,” Sansa mumbled to herself, ripping open the plastic that covered a dry-cleaned white silk shirt she could wear over her dress. She meant to return it to Jeyne that morning but well, this was an emergency. The stain wasn't noticeable at all but Sansa was too self-conscious to ignore it.

Tying up the hems into somewhat of a cropped top over her v-neck black dress now stained and smelling of triple shot espresso, Sansa figured it looked professional enough for any meetings today. She just had to pull it off for the next ten hours or so.

“Good morn- hey is that my top?” Jeyne chuckled at Sansa's makeshift style statement.

“A teeny accident but I swear I will return this to you tonight if I have to okay. I am so sorry,” Sansa pouted, hoping her one and only friend at work would just let it go and leave it, seeing how the day was turning out to be.

“No biggie Sansa but looks good on you. I should try that some time.”

Oh thank god.

Then, the IM dinged. Two words flashed on her computer screen.

“IT'S HERE!”

Sansa looked around and watched everyone scramble back into their cubicles; no more giggling by the water dispenser, no longer was there laughing by the coffee machine just heard seconds ago. Everyone was just trying to avoid getting stuck in any common areas, any walkways that meant they had to come face to face with the boss.

Her boss, that is. Jon Snow.

How unfortunate was she to have a boss everyone loathed. Satan, she dubbed him once. Well she had many names for him, recounting many tales of her frustrations at work during her many calls to her family and it became a term of endearment almost. She could probably write a best seller one day alá Devil Wears Prada - with film rights and everything. But for now, it's ten hours a day, weekends at the office and crowded book fairs.

A figure in black went past her. His head of jet black curls was unmistakable. He was a male Medusa; never look him in the eye unless you want to be turned to ash, metaphorically speaking. The rumours that went around were ridiculously vicious albeit amusing.

“Good morning, Mr Snow. As always, here's your c-”

“Sansa, get George on the line. I just scored him an interview on Oprah and I'm gonna need to talk to him. Also, after that get Aliser a meeting with me because that dick is gonna get it from me today,” her boss strutted into his office, as if he owned the building, without as much as greeting her since his eyes were too glued to the email he was furiously typing on his phone.

“Coffee.” Sansa mumbled and cleared her throat as she waited for him to grab the takeaway cup from her outstretched hand. Like clockwork, he did, still ignoring her like as always, every morning. Sansa had gotten used to it.

Jon Snow settled into his chair and immediately turned on his computer, his phone now tossed aside now that there were more important things to start off with.

Yep, good morning to you too Satan.

“Well, so we have a staff meeting at 10, a conference call with the Westerlands office at 11 and you have an appointment at the Immigration office at 1. So should I cancel your lunch and push it back to 2 pm?”

Jon swivelled from the screen and looked at her. His brows were furrowed and to Sansa that was never a good thing. Three years with this man, this slave driver, she knew everything there was to know about him, his likes, dislikes, his micro expressions that helped her navigate through this murky depths of hell she called a job - of being the executive assistant of one the most well known and respected former Pulitzer prize winning journalist now turned editor-in-chief of Mormont & Sons Publishing. Good things don't come easy, she would tell herself that every day, through the late night coffee and dinner runs, the book fairs and the weekends in the office.

“Immigration? What? No, cancel that. I filled out those papers already. You sent them out, didn't you?”

Sansa nodded. Of course she did, she also collected his dry cleaning, his groceries and the expensive watch he had serviced, which took her an hour and half to get to the other side of the city because they were the only ones Jon trusted enough to do.

“Right, so back on with the lunch meeting then.” Sansa inched her way to the door as Jon turned back around to his computer.

“Sansa?”

Ugh.

“Who's Rick and why does he think I'm hot? Why does he have his Tinder handle here?”

What?

“Umm.. I have no idea who that is.” Sansa froze at her spot.

Jon took a sip of his coffee, his stern face visibly amused by the awful scribble on the white coffee cup. “Triple espresso shot, no sugar. Hmm.”

“Well, I'm guessing that should be my coffee that was meant for me,” Sansa finally admitted.

Jon pursed his lips as he stared at her. “So, you're telling me that you too, drink triple espresso shot with no sugar?”

Sansa shrugged. “It grows on you.. I guess.”

“I thought you drank tea.”

“Well... variety, right?”

Jon's eyes were still on her, unamused. “You spilled my coffee didn't you?”

Sansa sighed. This day was no better than any other. If only she could catch a break.

Jon pointed to his own jacket and then to her. Sansa looked down and saw a small spot of dark brown on her makeshift cropped jacket, the pristine, shiny and well pressed silk blouse. Damn it.

“Good save on the shirt.”

Umm.. thanks?

“If... there's nothing else, you know where I'll be,” Sansa pointed to her desk outside as she slowly made her exit.

Then, the phone rang.

“Mr Snow's office,” Sansa answered dutifully. “It's Mr Thorne. Do you want to take it?”

Jon thought for a moment, then gestured to a general direction - it could only mean he wanted a one on one.

“Mr Thorne, Mr Snow is on his way to you right now.”

Jon stood up and tossed a notepad to Sansa. “You're coming with me, I need a witness.”

A witness? For what?

Murder?

“Oh you self righteous son of bitch!” the bellow shook her and Sansa almost dropped her notepad.

“You think you can waltz right in here with your big head and big ass editor ego and tell me what to do? I don't think so!” Aliser yelled at him, ripping the glasses from his face.

Shit. Don't punch each other. Please.

“Oh Thorne, you really are a thorn in my ass. Actually everyone's ass. You're just a lazy, entitled braggart who can't do the job right.”

Aliser only scoffed. “So you think your hot shot award is going to get you places huh? Throw your weight around like you own this shit?

“We told you many times, get George on board, get George on board, sign him and write a couple of books. But guess who did that instead? Me. I always have to finish your job for you because you can't do it ever.”

Aliser turned silent but his face was red with rage. Sansa couldn't blame him. He was being fired.

“Look, you have two months to look for another gig. I won't make you sign a non-compete and I'll tell everyone you resigned. I'll make sure Finance settles a leaving bonus for you. For all your years of service. How about that, huh?” Jon coolly offered in an effort to diffuse the rapidly growing tension in the air. Sansa gulped. Please take it, I want to get out of this room.

“You're going to regret this Jon Snow,” Aliser warned. Jon only shrugged and made his way to the door. Sansa quickly followed behind him and only managed a polite smile to Aliser.

“You got all that down didn't you? About the non compete and everything?” Jon asked as they made their way back to his office.

“Make a note to HR and let them get on it. And tell them I'm scouting for new editors. Which means I need you this weekend.”

Sansa's heart sank at the thought. No not this weekend. It's Gramp's 80th.

“Sansa? Did you hear what I just said?”

Sansa cursed under her breath and turned her attention back to Jon as they both stood in front of his office.

“Yes.. yes of course. Got it all down. But this weekend-”

“Why? Do you have plans?” Jon's tone was enough to warrant a slap from her.

“It's my grandfather's birthday weekend and I already told them I'll be there.”

Jon looked at her unblinking. “Well, tell them you'll come for the next one. I mean, if you want to keep your job that is. You do know birthdays happen every year, right?”

Sansa hated every time he brought that up. If it wasn't the book fairs it would be overtime at the office. When does it end?

Sansa bit her lip; there was no point arguing. “All right. I'll call them later.”

Jon winked and gave a token smile. “That's the spirit.”

Defeated, Sansa inhaled deeply, picking up the phone on her desk, hoping no one would be home pick up the call.

Sansa Stark, Editor. Sansa Stark, Editor. Sansa Stark, Editor.

It was the only thing in her mind that could help pull her through whatever life had in store for her that day.

“Hey Sansa, Mr Mormont wants to see Mr Snow right away. He says it's urgent,” Jeyne's voice broke her out her reverie.

Great, another one.

[magic-owl]

A girl died outside my window yesterday.

Well, not exactly right outside it.

But outside my window there is a lawn and across the lawn there is a street and the girl died on that street right there.

It happened at 12:15 pm.

At 11:30 I was joking around with my friends in my building. We were going to brunch at a diner down the road.

One friend was running late. We probably didn’t leave until closer to noon.

It was raining outside and it had snowed the night before. Our building is on a hill and it was slippery, and we made jokes about sliding on the slush down the hill as we walked.

We stopped at the bank nearby first— the diner was cash only. You can see the place where the girl died from the outside ATM we stood at.

I don’t think it had happened yet when we stood there, getting drenched, huddled under a single umbrella while my one friend got her money. We were still laughing about something.

I don’t think it happened yet, but we never turned around. We never looked up the road where it would have happened.

I don’t think it had happened yet. Surely there would have been a commotion. Surely there would have been people yelling and sirens almost immediately. There’s cops everywhere here, it wouldn’t have taken them a second to show up.

But what if it did happen? What if we just hadn’t noticed?

I don’t think it had happened yet. I think we were in the diner by 12:07. I don’t know because my brain might be making things up now that I’m trying to remember, but I think we were in the diner by 12:07 because we had to huddle out of the rain in the cramped doorway for about 20 minutes to wait for a table and I swear I remember checking my phone at one point and it saying it was 12:07.

I swear I remember it, but my mind plays tricks on me sometimes. If I want something to happen, or I don’t want something to happen, my memories can do weird things.

I hope we were in the diner by 12:07.

I can’t say for sure that we were.

We sat down, we ate, we laughed with our waitress who teased us over how young we were. We joked about tastes in men and my one friend’s girlfriend. We laughed about a lot of things. I was happy to be out with them.

During this time when we joked and laughed, a girl died outside my window.

It was still raining when we left the diner and walked back to our building. By this point, it was sometime after 1.

By this point, the girl was already dead.

At the intersection before our street, we could see police lights flashing. A lot of them. One friend pointed it out, wondering what had happened.

“Car accident maybe— is that caution tape?” I remember saying. “What kinda crime scene?”

“Oh shit,” said another friend.

We were intrigued.

“Should we go rubberneck?” I asked, joked, honestly, but I was still curious.

Someone said no, we could get in the way of emergency services.

Someone else said that they wanted to see what had happened though.

We agreed, we all did.

“Wait,” said one friend. “The lounge. We can see it from there.”

(Our building has a high level lounge with a viewing window. The street where the girl died is indeed visible.)

“You right!” we all chorused excitedly. “We can! Let’s go!”

We booked it across the intersection and up the hill.

We were still joking as we huffed and puffed while we ran. Joking about injuring ourselves running up a slippery hill trying to catch another crime scene. Joking to each other to hurry up or they might clean everything up by the time we got there. Joking about never having seen one before.

A reminder that by this point, the girl was already dead. Someone had already lost their loved one.

We knew nothing.

I’d like to say during this mad dash I took the time to say I hoped people were okay, that it was nothing bad. I know I thought it. I swear I thought it. I’m only half-sure I actually said anything, though, like I said my brain makes things up sometimes.

We burst through the doors, holding the elevator impatiently, swearing we were leaving behind the friend who decided she wanted to stop and get a package from the mail room first.

We raced to the lounge, disturbing the peace of a girl studying on a couch.

(The girl’s back had been to the window. How long had she been sitting there? Had she known? Did she see anything? Was she sitting there when the girl died?)

We smushed our faces to the window, still laughing, still joking, craning our necks to look over to where lights were flashing on the road across the street.

We saw caution tape. We saw police officers. We saw an open ambulance behind the caution tape and police officers. We saw a bus parked where it shouldn’t be.

We saw no bodies.

(Of course we didn’t. News reports say that by this point the girl had been taken to the hospital where she died.)

We saw nothing out of the ordinary.

No smashed up vehicles.

No broken landscape.

The road seemed normal.

Everything seemed fine.

Again that was probably because everything had been cleaned up by then.

But we didn’t know that.

We took the signs that nothing seemed wrong as an okay to joke, that nothing too bad had happened, so it was alright. Just another stopped street blocking traffic.

Just more piggy cops scurrying around.

We were loud and obnoxious and I was fairly certain we were disturbing the girl’s studying.

My other friend showed up some point after wielding her package, revealing her new menstrual cup she had sent for. We all proceeded to tease her over it.

At some point, we were theorizing over what might have happened.

Someone pointed out there was an ambulance there, someone probably was hurt.

Someone else countered that the ambulance was still loitering there, behind the cop cars and the caution tape; didn’t it seem like an inconvenient place to park if someone really needed that ambulance in a hurry?

I do remember saying I hoped everyone was okay aloud then. I did hope so, but I really didn’t think it had been anything bad. It was probably more to excuse the joking I knew was likely in poor taste.

Eventually, we watched them unravel the caution tape, saw the cop cars drive away. The ambulance left and traffic started back up.

We grew bored, we apologized to the studying girl, and we dispersed back to our rooms.

The girl was dead.

I didn’t find out what had really happened until an hour or two later when my friend blew up our group chat with a news article saying what had happened.

It was horrifying for me.

I had made fucking jokes over it.

A girl was dead.

She died in a way I always fear I will, in a way I almost have a couple of times.

She was lying on the ground dying or dead while I was walking with my friends, eating with my friends, laughing with my friends.

She lived in my building, the news said.

She went to my school, she studied my major, she lived in my very building. I could have met her. I saw her face in the picture they used. She was pretty.

I could have met her. She could have been in one of my classes. We could have shared an elevator or been at the gym together or walked by each other in the building hallways because she literally lived in the same place as I did for five fucking months, and I never knew.

She could have been me.

Now she’s dead.

She’s got friends and family who are mourning her now.

And she’s dead and that could have been me and I’m alive and was making fucking jokes about it and I don’t know if she was the type of person who might make jokes like I did, but I don’t think she was.

What do I know, I never knew her.

And now I won’t because she’s dead.

And I didn’t know her when she was alive and I didn’t know that she was dying and I didn’t know that she was dead. I’ll never know her now.

Later that night my friends and I played card games and she wasn’t brought up once. She was on the back of my mind, but I wasn’t paying it too much attention. I laughed and joked some more.

Now she’s been dead a day and I haven’t been able to get over it.

It’s not fair.

She shouldn’t have died.

There’s been so many times where I should have died the way she did but I’m still here and I sure as hell don’t want to trade places with her because I’m a coward who fears death and also I want to live, damn it, I want to do things with my life before I go.

But she won’t get to do that because she’s dead and I feel so guilty for some reason.

I don’t know her. I never knew her.

I still feel guilty though, guilty for being alive even though she isn’t and guilty for laughing over the remains of her emergency scene and guilty for not knowing she was dead and guilty for so many things I shouldn’t.

I feel guilty and I hate it.

Now I’m scared that the universe is coming for me next.

This isn’t about me and I’m making it about me because I feel guilty and I shouldn’t but I do and I hate it.

I’m scared, I guess, that that could be me someday.

I don’t want it to be me.

But I’m still upset it was her.

She died across the street from my window and now every time I look out it I’m going to remember that.

I’m going to have to walk along the road where she died.

I don’t know the exact spot where it happened.

I might step on it.

I’m just so sorry.

I’m sorry that I laughed.

[hollandsosterfield-blog]

I got you babe - t.h.

pairing: tom holland x reader

warning: some swearing? fluff

prompts: “Stop texting me weird stuff so late at night” & “This is why I fell in love with you” 

summary: You’re sick and alone at home, the only cure for your boredom is to watch some compilations of vines on YouTube. Why not kill time by sending some vines to Tom and make him confused?

words count: around 800

a/n: maybe I like a little bit too much vine ? btw this is for @tomhollandandmarvelsworld writing challenge!

not my gif

It's been three days since you're sick, Tom does the best he can to help you feel better and take care of you when he's not on set. You know he feels guilty about leaving you here alone, especially when you're sick, but you know he's doing his best to get home as soon as possible.

You woke up a few minutes ago, the curtains in your room aren’t closed and you can see that it’s already dark, only some streetlights illuminates the street. It must be late and Tom doesn't seem to be back home yet. He told you this morning that he would be back late because he had several scenes to film and it would take him a while so no need to worries.

Maybe he sent you a message? You should check your messages. You remove all the blankets that covered you and pick up your phone on the bedside table where you left it earlier today after he called during one of his breaks to check if you were okay, isn't he cute? You unplug your charger and tap your code.

3 missed calls from Tom

1 new message from Tom

Damn, he must have called when you were sleeping. You click on the message and start reading it.

Hey babe, you haven't answered my calls, I guess you're probably asleep. I hope you feel a little better. I'll be home in an hour, love you darling❤️

You can't stop the big smile that appears on your face. He sent you this at 11:59 pm and it’s only 12:21 am. You sigh, sadly you still have to wait another 40 minutes before he returns.

You sent him a quick message to tell him that you just woke up, feeling better. You go into the living room and find Tessa in her basket playing with one of her toys. As soon as she sees you, she drops it and heads towards you.

You kneel and pat her. "Hello babygirl, who’s a good girl?" She licks your cheek "That’s right! It's you!" You giggle when she licks you again.

You go sit on the couch with her and grab your tablet that was on the coffee table. You open the YouTube app and look at some compilations of vines.

After a few minutes an idea goes through your head and you pause your video to pick up your phone. You decide to send Tom a few vines, you know he's not going to understand anything, but you like to tease him. You're starting to type your message.

You :

TOM

ah fuck. i can't believe you’ve done this.

After several minutes you hear the ringing of your phone announcing that you received a message.

Tom : 

sorry darling, was busy earlier, couldn't reply faster, I miss you. I'll be home in 10.

wait

done what?

You laugh while typing your answer.

You : 

SAW YOU HANGING OUT WITH KAITLYN YESTERDAY

Tom : 

um babe I'm kinda confused, who's kaitlyn?

You :

I WONT HESITATE BITCH

I thought you were bae, turns out you're just fam

Tom :

what are talking about babe???

You :

hurricaine katrina ? more like hurricaine tortilla

road work ahead uh yeah, I sure hope it does

this bitch empty YEET

You hear the front door open and Tessa jumped out of the couch to run towards the door. You turned and saw Tom in the hallway, he knelted and patted Tess while looking at you. 

After a few minutes he rose up and advanced towards you, hands in his pockets. You put your phone on the coffee table and stood up, smiling.

"Hi," you say softly.

He laugh. "Babe, I know you're bored, but you have to stop texting me weird stuff so late at night, especially when I'm at work." You frowned.

"I'm not sending you weird stuff!" You grab a tissue and sneeze.

"Yes you are, my little weirdo, but this is why I fell in love with you. Now go back to bed, I'll take care of you." He kissed your forehead and gave you the box of tissues.

After taking you back to your shared room, he went to take a shower. You were starting to fall asleep with Tessa in your arms when you felt him climb into the bed. 

You turned around to face him and he pulled you closer. He cupped your face with his hands and kissed your forehead.

"Goodnight darling, I love you."

"I love you too." You wrapped your legs around his hips and kissed him before you both feel asleep in each other arms. 

He didn't lie, he took care of you the next few days until you felt better.

—

permanent taglist: @dragneel-cutie @spider-girls-world 

[satannedtrash]

a new year’s resolution | qian kun

summary: where you go out with friends to welcome in the new year, but you never expected to welcome something - or rather, someone - else.

pairing: qian kun x reader

word count: 3.3k/3365 words

genre: fluff. just fluff. pure fluff

format: dot points (still not experienced enough yet :|)

warnings: none unless mild to moderate swearing and total drunks aren’t your thing (also not edited oh dear) (and ooc kun cuz i suck at this ok)

author’s note: tHIS WAS MEANT TO BE FINISHED LAST WEEK BUT STUFF CAME UP SO IT’S HELLA LATE AAA but anyway at first i wasn’t entirely sure what member to write about, but then i remembered how sm didn’t even release a happy birthday post to kun (jan 1). so i thought that i can dedicate this to kun. happy (extremely belated) birthday to the butter-for-our-ears vocalist, angel and mum, kun! (also y/f/n means your friend’s name)

EDIT: just realised there was a whole section missing (i realised after a month because i didn’t want to read back on this - thing - until now) and without it the oneshot didn’t flow, so i added it in. hope it all clears things up!

11:19 pm

before this story starts imma explain sum stuff

first of all: bless kun

second of all: appreciate kun

third of all: say happy birthday to kun

oh and this is an au where the nct members aren’t idols so don’t expect to see saesangs or fans with their cameras out taking a photo of every move they make being mentioned in here

aaand i’m rambling so with that out of the way lez go

laughing at a friend’s joke, you lifted your right hand which held your phone, causing the screen to turn on

“gEEz okay then”

the bright, white light emitted from it shocked your eyes, making you blink furiously

when you could finally see without being partially blinded, you quickly checked the time and placed your phone face-down next to you

“what’s the time?” y/f/n asked, chin on your shoulder

not bothered to check again, you just say “11:19” and then leaned your head on theirs

“can you believe that 2018 is ending?”

“yep. this year sucked for me so i’m down for it to end”

“always looking forward, huh?”

you shifted your gaze from the city skyline to your friend. “have to. can’t afford to stick to the past”

pouting, y/f/n was about to respond when you lifted your head and stopped leaning back on your arms to sit upright

“besides, we gotta enjoy tonight, instead of moping around.” here, you noticed your friend eyeing the beers nearby you and sighed heavily. guess i need to be chaperone for the night

well considering that the rest of your friends and their friends were wasted might as well make sure they don’t mess the docks up

as you handed the bottle to your friend, their expression brightened as they snatched it from you

well damn aren’t they excited to get drunk

wait it’s not even 11:30 yet and we’re still going to a bar nearby after the fireworks wat

“er, shouldn’t you wait till after midnight to drink?”

“nah m8 tis the best time to have some”

(i have just realised that the vibe of this went from serious storytelling to a memey laidback sorta thing damn it)

(oh well i’ll roll with it)

not knowing what to do now that there wasn’t much to talk about, you brought out your earphones and decided to listen to some music to pass the time

calming music, such as a song with nine glorious men singing and some bed squeaking in the background

(i’ll let you guess what song i’m talking about)

you let your head bop to the song as you looked out to the sea port twenty metres in front of you, watching the dark waters ripple

11:48 pm

the next time you turned on your phone to see how many minutes left you had become a third wheeler

quite the strong third wheeler might i add

a few moments after the first song you were listening to finished, your good friend yuta had joined you and y/f/n because his other friends were “too rowdy”

but as soon as he saw the bottles he said “gimme”

so you were sitting there (barbecue sauce on my-) with two just barely sober adults acting like complete children

you had to wrestle out of y/f/n’s koala hug around your waist and escape yuta’s chin noogie to grab your phone

“oh for fuck’s sake” father why have you foresaken me

when you finished preparing yourself for another possible 27 minutes of torture, you turned around to see yuta and y/f/n throwing themselves at each other, singing like magpies

“wE wIsh yOU A mErrY chrIstmAsssss aNd a hAppY nEw yeeeEeAArr!!1!” they then took the opportunity to laugh, squeal and kiss the hecc out of each other’s cheeks

you knew that your friend was absolute shit at singing, but yuta was a whole different story good lord

you thought he was good???

maybe just when he hasn’t had a few drinks

you stared at the two dolphins then promptly stood up and sat down behind them because you had to make sure they didn’t do anything more than whatever the hell this was

not like it could get any worse

you could feel the gazes of pity the others were sending you, but frankly you didn’t care

before, you couldn’t wait for the new year to come, but now you were more eager than ever

someone please save my poor soul

11:59 pm

“yEEEE BOI a minute left!”

eleven minutes have passed and the final 60 seconds of the year were being counted down

you were less excited for the new year and more excited for the end of your chaperoning being closer

all you had to do was get through the firework display, watch the adorable couple in front of you until the bar and let them do what they want (there were sure to be other friends who were willing to let them join in)

it seemed like a simple, solid plan! :D

before you knew it, yuta and y/f/n had already started counting down from 15, so might as well start now

“13, 12, 11, 10...”

you took a glance at y/f/n, who grinned back at you and threw their arm around your shoulder

“7, 6, 5, 4, 3...” here we go

“1 - happy new year!!”

it was at this moment you realised that your eardrums were incapable of tolerating the two dolphins beside you

sINCE WHEN WAS YUTA ABLE TO SCREAM THAT LOUD AND HIGH THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE

yay to starting the new year with loud friends screaming like there’s no tomorrow amiright

you had trouble focusing on the fireworks to the point you could only hear most of the big ones

that’s how hard it was to be next to them but oh well

marvelling at the city skyline, the fireworks seeming like entirely new stars, you began having very deep thoughts

the typical ones, such as “ what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like by the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?”

you had asked the exact same things when 2017 shifted to 2018 and found that you actually had an answer for all of them

2018 brought some crappy stuff but also some good stuff to balance that out

you were still sort of the same, because every time something major came up you only changed a bit then went back to normal

and you weren’t with anyone yet, which you had expected

but a little birdy on your shoulder said, “then get with someone in 2019! make it a new year’s resolution!”

your eyebrows furrowed at the thought, but you decided to focus on the sky for now

because since when did you ever make or follow new year’s resolutions?

12:16 am

“12:16 okay then”

turns out you didn’t consider the walk to the bar part of your chaperoning

by the time the display ended, yuta and y/f/n could walk, but not without wobbling and intense laughter

so guess who had to make sure they could at least make the trip to the bar?

“um, are you sure you don’t want to go home yet?” 

“nah, i caan’t, my sister was meaant to be at home-!”- y/f/n stumbled a bit but you caught them before they fell - “-but she’s not, and i can’t beeee home by myselfff”

no wonder

here, you were struggling to keep the both of them propped up as you walked along the road, so there was bound to be a slip up

“you should’ve seen their face! haHA-!” yuta laughed a little too hard and nearly fell over his own feet, prompting you to panic and scramble to keep him from falling to the ground

“oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit-!”

but you didn’t need to because someone else already beat you to it!

sighing in relief, you looked up to see none other than the great qian kun putting yuta’s arm around his shoulder

he looked over to you gaping at him and smiled that warm smile that looked like it was sculpted by the gods

wow he looks great in this lighting

you were always attracted to kun, ever since you two began talking after stopping a full blown war between doyoung and ten

he appeared so soft and kind to you and you two seemed to have a lot in common

so naturally you hit it off

because who doesn’t love kun? :D

“you’re welcome?” oh shit i didn’t just stare at him for that long did i

“oh - sorry - thanks for that” nice going there y/n you idiot

kun just chuckled and hefted his drunk friend as he started walking, you doing the same

it became comfortably silent as your group made their way down the street and turned left into a reasonably sized bar, which as surprisingly not that busy

you set y/f/n down on a chair that thankfully had a tall enough back to keep them up and sat down next to them, exhaling

kun patted yuta’s back and went to sit down next to you

laying your head on the counter, you thought of striking up a conversation with kun

so, instead of saying things like “happy new year”, “thanks for helping me” or even “they’re hard to deal with anyway”, you just said “woah.”

yEAH AGAIN NICE GOING THERE Y/N

“‘woah’? what’s ‘woah’?” he responded, taking on a teasing, motherly tone

you could hear the grin in his voice

you panicked and stammered some illegible words before you could actually speak

“i meant like, woah, that was exhausting, they made things real hard and all that…”

then you thought of something brilliant

you took out your phone and googled “woah”, only to find that it wasn’t spelled w-o-a-h but instead meant to be w-h-o-a

you frowned but typed “whoa meaning” instead and showed the definition to kun

all the while still laying on the mahogany-coloured counter

to your surprise, he rolled his eyes, laughed and ruffled your hair

“that was a really bad joke but you’re lucky i have the same sense of humor” his laugh was infectious so you had to smile

then he asked, “are you okay? not too tired?”

sitting up, you put your phone back in your pocket

“nah, my arms just ache, but it’s fine.” your polite smile suddenly grew into a wide smirk. “thanks for worrying, mum”

“i’m not a mum!” his expression made you have the sudden urge to burst into endless chuckles

in the corner of your eye, you could see ten, doyoung and johnny elbowing each other, pointing at you and kun and singing “kiss the girl”

you then had the sudden urge to throw some hands

kun (obviously) overheard them and sighed

“why are they like this”

“i wish i knew”

you and kun talked some more, random topics like how uni was going for you, how his singing was, how your book was going, all that jazz

with some playful banter and the occasional jokes that made you laugh so hard your back hurt

“kun loving puns and dad jokes? a coincidence?”

“i only laugh at them to make you feel better!”

“gasp! how dare you!”

“only joking, y/n!”

while you two giggled, y/f/n suddenly turned to you and said, “i think yuta and i will be fine here…”

you stopped and looked back at them, concerned

“you sure?”

“we’ll just go sit with the boys over there-!” a hiccup. “-it’ll be fine!” then, it hit you

is this bitch trying to play matchmaker 

you grumbled “i’m not sure…” but then kun spoke up

“yeah, sure, that’s fine,” when you gave him a quizzical look, he added on, “as much as i don’t trust johnny, doyoung and ten, at least it’s not just the two of them?”

he phrased it as a question instead of a statement, his voice getting higher by each word spoken

you pondered over this

well, he’s not wrong

you exhaled in defeat, saying “fine, go ahead”

y/f/n grinned at you and gave a knowing wink before dragging yuta over to the three boys

two of whom were busy flirting to each other and the other one third wheeling

you raised your eyebrows up and down at them before turning back to kun, who was looking outside

“so,” you started, causing him to look at you, “are you sure you want yuta and y/f/n wreaking havoc with those three?” you nodded in the group’s direction

kun stayed silent for a bit, then said “yeah, i’m sure. it kinda looked like you needed a break from them.”

“true. there’s only so much you can take.” kun chuckled at that and looked outside again

it went silent, but in stark contrast to the vibe of the walk leading to the bar, it was very awkward

too awkward to handle

so you took the opportunity to debate with yourself whether or not you should study kun

damn what if he looks at me though i’m not really risking that

but how can you not look at him? and what’s there to talk about?

it’s not worth the embarrassment

look-

no

at-

no

him 

you were about to take a quick glance, but then kun spoke

“besides, i want to show you something”

once again, another puzzled look

“if you don’t mind, of course”

without another thought, you said “sure.”

“really? you’re okay with it?” you smiled at kun’s eagerness

“yeah, might as well, now that we don’t have anyone to watch over.” kun grinned and stood up, making sure to push in his chair (we love a polite king)

you two were about to walk out the door when you looked at a certain group three tables away from you

johnny and ten were still flirting and yuta and y/f/n were still laughing

but this time, doyoung wasn’t a third wheeler anymore, because a man who looked younger than him was having a somewhat civilised conversation with doyoung

you elbowed kun and made him look at them and made sure doyoung, johnny and ten saw you before both mouthing, “sha la la la la la my, oh, my~”

you took a mental screenshot of their faces before you and kun cackled your way out of the bar

12:47 am

“what are you planning on showing me?”

the two of you had been walking and talking for a while now, but kun still didn’t say what he was going to show you

you were waiting patiently, expecting him to eventually tell you, but you gave in

“it’s a surprise~” he said in a sing-song voice, which slightly irritated you

“i know that it’s at the docks, because that’s where we’re heading,” you gave him a light nudge with your arm. “so might as well tell me now!”

he stubbornly shook his head. “i refuse to tell you until you see it.”

pouting, you crossed your arms and muttered under your breath, “you’re lucky you’re adorable.”

to your relief, he didn’t hear you, because he laughed at your pout and pressed on

you lightly scoffed and picked up your pace so that you could walk alongside him

“can i at least have one clue?” you begged

“uh uh.”

“pleeeaaassee?” he looked at your hopeful smile and rolled his eyes

“fine,” you yelled “yes!” a little too loud, making people stare at you. “your clue is…

“...it’s big and sparkly.” you gave him a look showing that you weren’t impressed

“wow, kun, what a descriptive and totally-not-vague clue! i am sure to get it now!”

kun grumbled, “you sound like doyoung,” before remembering something

“don’t tell me the answer until we get there!” he quickly said, receiving yet another puzzled look. “so that i can give you the benefit of the doubt to make it all the more exciting! it’ll be fun!”

you in turn muttered, “well, you sound like y/f/n, and fine. i don’t wanna ruin the surprise. you look real enthusiastic about it too” he smiled gratefully before leaving you to do your thinking

thinking about that smile :)))))

damn his smile always gets me grrrrr

you pulled your mind away from kun’s personality and tried to think of a place with the clue “big and sparkly”

two came to your mind, the big ferris wheel and the big floating silver christmas tree out on the water

they’re both big and sparkly, but you couldn’t predict which one he was going to take you to

you were hoping the ferris wheel, but you just had to wait and see

“think of any places yet?” you jolted so hard, you threw your phone up accidentally

don’t worry, you caught it

kun looked at you, his eyebrows showing worry but his eyes glinting. “you okay?”

very nice going there y/n, how many more times will you mess up??

and my face feels like it’s on fire oh good lord 

“i’m fine, just got scared,” you had to take a breather before you put your phone in your pocket - where it should’ve been in the first place, but your dumb ass decided to hold it - and gave kun a thumbs up

he gave a thumbs up back and said, “surprised you didn’t scream.”

biting back a retort, you replied. “rude.” you sunk your hands deeper into your pockets. “and as for your question, yes, i did think of a place or two”

“good, because we’re getting close now”

you turned a corner and saw both the floating tree and the ferris wheel come into view

the ferris wheel carriages were lighting up one after the other, making it look like a loading symbol (great comparison there) from afar

a pretty and romantic loading symbol

while the christmas tree was dazzling, the rainbow lights getting brighter and dimmer like a pulsing star

while you two waited for the pedestrian light to turn green, kun said to you, “when we make it to the other side, make sure to close your eyes and keep them closed until i say so”

“let me guess, to ‘make it all the more exciting’?” he grinned and nodded

“yup”

you did as what he had told, closing your eyes and relying on kun to guide you the right way

“i swear to god if you push me off the pier i will drag you down with me”

“now you sound like ten, but don’t worry, i won’t,” he gently pushed you away from an upcoming obstacle. “thanks for thinking so highly of me.”

“no problem, mum” you grinned victoriously when you heard a heavy sigh

you knew you were close to the water when you smelled less alcohol and more salty sea water

“are we there yet?” you asked impatiently. you couldn’t be bothered to be patient anymore

kun said, “waaait,” and guided you a bit to the left. “there! now you can open your eyes.”

“finally, i was wondering when- holy shit.”

it wasn’t the ferris wheel that you were hoping that he’d show you, but it was something you decided was way more worth it

the floating silver christmas tree towered over you both, and it looked like it was the brightest and most colourful thing for kilometres (or miles, you choose)

coloured lines streamed down from the top to the bottom, like a very pink, purple and blue waterfall, while stage lights at the bottom smoothly changed from red to orange to yellow and more

it also reminded you of the windows screen when you used it for the first time (if that even makes sense?)

white light shone from beneath the many large stars decorating the tree, making them pop, and the wind revealed that the tree wasn’t made of smooth silver metal, but silver sequins that showed the water ripples and waves from below

the star at the top was the most intensely bright of them all, with a rainbow outline and a gold center

needless to say, it was pretty darn beautiful for a sight that would otherwise hurt your eyes

you stood there with your mouth wide open, looking like a pathetic fish, and almost missed what kun was saying

“i wasn’t sure if you would like the ferris wheel or the tree, but then i found out that the ferris wheel would be closed today, so i just chose this,” you felt his gaze shift onto you, and you tried not to get flustered. “do you like it?”

you took a moment before you spoke. “yes, i really like it a lot,” the view was that breathtaking it took away your ability to talk like a proper adult. you turned to him and gave a smile, trying to make it look as genuine as you could. “thanks for bringing me here, kun.”

he gave you an equally big grin and said, “you’re welcome. glad you like it too.” he turned back to look at the tree, and you did the same

but not without sneaking a glance at him in all his ethereal beauty

kun never failed to surprise you, whether it be showing you a very rainbow tree, being so kind and trusting or just being himself

your mind floated back to the three questions you had asked yourself earlier, “what will 2019 bring?”, “what will i be like at the end of the year?” and “will i be happy with someone?” and the new year’s resolution you made

you took another look at kun then whispered under your breath, “huh.

“guess i am on the way to completing one.”

[byebyechloe]

So I’ve been contemplating writing this for awhile...

about.... let’s see, I need to do the math.

we broke up January 15th.

Then we talked until, what would you say? the third Monday of February?

Yes, February 18th. I remember that night well. It shook me to the core, that's when our break up... really began to be our break. up. 

but then let me throw this at you. this low low low LOW number.

18 days. (That’s how many days you had me blocked. I’m assuming... if not less. I accidentally came up on that realization one day. So who knows.)

I took the ballsy choice of adding you back on snap, being subtle. you added me back the same night, and thats when it all began again. 

well... kinda, took us until, when? probably like 2 Fridays later? I slid into your texts to tell you about a artist I liked and thought you’d vibe too. Ironically, you already fucked with him too. 

Then that next weekend I gave you the entire snapchat tour of the 2nd Ben Rector concert we didn't attend together, but this one we had planned too...

and then I think... the next Friday is when I took a huge risk on my mental health and dropped sam off at Julies and off I was! back to the place in the middle of the damn trees, just to spend a night with you again, that I thought would just be a random hook up, and then we’d just let it all go again. but no.

I left that bed with plans to be back the next weekend, and then plans to hangout when you moved home for the “short” time you had planned before “moving away back east”, that ended up being an entire summer, and you ended up being A LOT closer than you planned when you did finally move away again in October. But this moving away didn’t happen of course, until after another big “I'm sick of you!” argument from us both (after an ironically, perfect Saturday with you. I still think about that night. so cute and romantic in the weirdest, not romantic way.) and then we talked on and off for another time. this was a little longer than 18 days, but wasn’t longer than 3 weeks. And you were back around, and I was stronger alone, but so was my strong belief in the damn signs I've been getting the last fucking YEAR of us doing this ~thing~ of ours from the big guy up there (imagine me pointing, yanno me, i’m an awkward bitch who points, bet you can imagine my torn up nails too. you always remind me to stop biting them. thanks for that.)

Oh.. yeah, hey, happy 1 year of crossing paths (again, if you count the years we didn’t really /know/ each other, but were in the same friend circle... somehow. idk.) and taking away my right to say “i’ve never fallen inlove like for real for real!” (my words, not society’s.) 

But yeah, when I sit here and type, I realize I won’t get as much out as I will whenever you give me the chance to say it all out loud (if you could be /so/ kind), but let me get to my favorite part of the last 365 days.

I’ll start with the fact that... that night.... I almost cancelled on you 3 fucking times. This was before I caught on to God’s lessons that he embedded in our encounter and friendship. Now I see this was his small beginning and it was with the fact that we both come from two different lives and backgrounds, that being symbolized by the fact that I usually eat dinner at like... 5 pm. and you are a more 7 pm guy. By 6:30 I was not only hangry, but beginning to let my anxiety and trust issues from my past start to creep in. “He is really gonna pull this? after 3 weeks of us talking? AND its the day before my birthday? how rude.” I thought. I even told my friends twice I wanted to drop the date, and they both said to do what made me happy. But yanno what I did that I never do? especially in that season of life I was in? (this was “fuck guys, none of them deserve me anyway) phase, by the way. I’m still in it, but you’re an exception.)

I just said... “no. I’ll give him 10 more minutes”.... three times. But yanno what?

It was the best decision I ever fucking made in my ENTIRE life. (other than that one time we... yanno... had sex for (my) the first time (ours together). Sorry but I mean you saw this coming right?) 

You kept me talking and laughing from the moment I walked out of my front door that night... all the way until, well, that night we broke up in January. Yet, I think you still made me giggle a few times before we finally hung the 3 hour phone call up. 

OH! Our first date was November 15th, 2018. Crazy... we broke up literally... 2 months after our first date. That’s super weird. This isn’t the first time that dates have aligned like that in my life. It’s whatever, ANYWAY. 

Back to the story! So. Yeah. Best night of my life. seriously. Going out with you that night was the best decision I ever made. It was so fun and sweet and carefree and I was so happy. 

Bro-- you make me /SO/ fucking happy.

 Even after all the shit we’ve gone through, I’d still pick you over any guy on this damn planet, and that says a lot about me considering you’re very deep into your “bachelor szn” of life right now. Which I’m happy af for you for, that is a sick time of life, and you deserve to live it. I just appreciate you keeping me around for the nights you want someone to hold and kiss and watch movies with. (the dinner was an added bonus, and very sexy. so keep it up for me pls. I promise I will reciprocate my thanks.)

But anyway. The 1st date, it was the night I think God sealed the deal of the whole “you’re gonna fall inlove with this guy when y'all kiss” thing. I never really believed in that shit, partly bc I hated hallmark movies and hated the entire feeling of love after what I thought I knew from my last big relationship before you, but I was so wrong.

I still think about our first kiss a lot, and I hate to admit that because I am not that OOZY with love and emotions. But I do. And I never realized that was the night I fell in love with you, I realized that the last night you and I stayed at Julie and Camden’s... yanno before you met some new girl and started seeing her like 3-4 nights a week? yeah same. I wasn’t a complete mess though, I worked on school and fell in love with the art of teaching, so that was cool. But yeah. That night. You and I literally had so many nights like it this summer, but, yet, THAT night is when I was trying to fall asleep and the memory of our first date was like “yo what up bitch time to relive this day again.”

and I did. and it was amazing. and then when it got to that kissing part (Sam was so annoyed by us, I think. I don’t really remember. it was THAT good of a kiss my dude.) I really realized that is when I began to believe in the fact that a man could possibly love me, or care for me, or just like me again. I was so happy. 

I have learned so many lessons from this whole 365 days (and counting) experience. Let me explain.

- be patient. (THIS was the biggest and hardest one, and its ongoing. I want to say I’m doing better.) I've had to really stop myself from getting upset and remind myself, “God wouldn’t keep him around in my life like this if he didn’t have a reason too.” He’d give me all the signs to leave. I’m not too blind to look at both sides, I just see more promise in the good side than to be dramatic and listen to the bad side. I see dedication and hard work on the good side. 

- be trusting. (Now I know you get me when I say, trust issues take up your whole damn life. Maybe not as much anymore because we both are/have gone through the stage of life where you learn “people only take as much as you give. So give a little at a time.” which is what your doing now, and is what I learned to start doing... then I met you and ended up dumping all my trust into you. but not in the way you may think, it has taken this entire year for me too. so you’re welcome). I have really started seeing how much I trust you, and how much you deserve it. But I won’t lie and say there aren’t times you don’t deserve me, and I KNOW that. But I refrain from screaming it at you, because.... what is that going to help at this point? The time isn’t here yet, if it ever comes, but if it does, you’ll know I’ve waited to say it, followed up with the whole hearted reason I never let it be why I gave up, because I never will give up on you.*

* When you and I started dating (11...24...18.... yeah. you get why I put it in numbers, right?) You told me in text that night to not give up on you, because you’re still young and still learning. I said I understood and wouldn’t, because you made me (and still do) the happiest girl on this earth. no cap, boo. You also said it and say it almost every time you are drunk and next to me in bed. “Don’t give up on me baby. please.” and my most favorite time, which was Christmas, “Don’t give up on me baby and I swear, I’m going to make our life together so damn great.” and yanno? I still believe it. and Always will. (scouts honor, boo.)

- Be understanding. (This one is gonna get deep.) So, I know, most movies will show you a girl who is a friend of the girl in love, or the guy who is the best best friend of the guy who is also in love tell one of the two that they need to just man up and say how they feel to the other one, even if that other one doesn’t want to believe it. Or better yet, tell the person THEY don't see how inlove they are with a person. Now I won’t sit here and act like I haven’t wished I could come across you with the desire in my heart to just tell you “don’t you see how fucking perfect we are for eachother?” because thats not realistic. That would of pushed me away from any man (and actually has before) who said it to me. SO WHY would I ever try to make someone push you to believe it? Let alone myself? You will realize it yourself someday, or maybe a friend will notice it and mention it to you, but I won’t ever be the one to tell you I think you are dumb for not seeing our potential. I’m fine with waiting until you figure it out. As far behind as you are in the feelings and independence stage in life... emotionally... I am in the independence and living stage... physically. We just did things backwards. 

This is getting long (if it wasn’t a surprise) but...

I love you, boo. I always will, and apparently have since the first night you took me to chilis. So let’s just say this has been a wild year, but I can’t wait for the rest of the others. 

Have fun with whatever/whoever you’re doing, Hope to see ya soon and get my face wash back that I “forgot” two weeks ago.

love, 

your future wifey, hehe. ;)

jk.

love always, Chloe. (or when you like to make me mad, Coco.)

[smolbeandrabbles]

Sway Pt. 6 - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Here  / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10

Authors Note: ‘Better At Being Who I Am’ (Jason Aldean) Is angst theme GOALS. Whilst I always look for lyrics to suit the overall chapter theme, I also like looking for quotes. Two from Bloodline in particular hit me hard during season one; so not only is this part based on them… But I will also be using them during the part… It’s a pretty heavy part, I interspersed some lighter moments, because it’s not always all bad… even when things aren’t going great for our boy…

I wanted to note this chapter takes place over a period of years and is kinda like... the “Lowlights” of those years.

Disclaimer: Direct Quotes from Bloodline season 1 episode 6 & 11 used! Vaguely in context…! This is where I change Canon a little. He is no longer in jail when the resturant burns down... Because I had this idea before I found that out and I didn’t want to change it.

“Okay. Try this. I don’t care about you. You don’t mean anything to me. And if I mean something to you… You mean less than nothing to me.” Danny Rayburn, Season 1, Episode 6.

“I don’t hate you! I could never hate you! That’s my Fucking problem!” John Rayburn, Season 1, Episode 11.

Premise: Danny was known to go off the rails, you thought you’d seen it all. Until the day his restaurant burned down…

Word Count: 9492 (oh yeah. The long haul.)

Warnings: This part is pretty angsty. Essentially it details where in your relationship / pre-to-the-series that Danny’s life starts to fall apart. Drinking/Underage Drinking/Drug Mis-use/Swearing/

What doesn't destroy you Leaves you broken instead Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper And I can't take One more moment of this silence The loneliness is haunting me And the weight of the worlds getting harder to hold up

I'm not OK and it's not all right Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down? Save me from myself Don't let me drown Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive? Save me from myself Don't let me drown

'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own…

Danny’s Apartment, Miami  - PM

Whilst Danny had told you he’d move in (Although, it had taken him about five minutes to actually talk in complete sentences) he’d always wanted to keep that little bit of just in case independence for himself. He told you this one morning over breakfast like it wasn’t a big deal – he was simply moving from his apartment into a newer one. “Oh really? Need help?” “Well. As you know the majority is in boxes. But I’d appreciate another car… Yeah.” “So where are you moving?” “First floor, one floor. Detached. Lot bigger. I was just thinking for Nolan, y’know… If he ever wants to come and stay… It’s a little better.” “I totally get it. AND I think it’s a great idea.” You understood Danny’s hesitancy of introducing Nolan to the apartment you lived in, judging on Danny’s own initial reactions. “Do you want to see it first?” “Danny…” You sighed, shaking your head “It’s your apartment! You go for it.” “Well, I want to know if I’m making the right choice.” “…What does your heart say?” “My heart…?” He looked at you questioningly but then changed his mind “…Says yes…” “Then your decision is made. I’ll see it, when I help you move in!”

You actually had a hard job of moving his boxes. Because your first night together came flooding back at everything you saw and everything you touched.  This would be the final time.

Danny clearly couldn't care less - he was always in between with this place - now where he was couldn’t be clearer to him. But you were slow and careful with everything, and it didn't escape his notice. "What?" he walked past you with another box "I dunno I just... This is the first impression I really got of you..." "Yeah. I'd rather not think on that. It was such a great impression you didn't call me for two days. Heck if you hadn't been persuaded into my restaurant I'd still be waiting...!" "...But I was right." "Owww...!" his voice echoed down the stairs, making you laugh as you followed "Having said that... We really should have had one last night here. For old times sake..." he gave a shrug "just have to christen the new place instead." "Do you ever stop!" "When I think about you?" he paused for effect, to pretend he was doing just that "No." He pushed his fingers to his lips "Not really." You smacked his arm, before walking back upstairs "C'mon baby! With a body like yours!?! How can I not!!! That would be injustice!!" "Danny SHUT UP!!" you knew he'd said it louder just to catch the attention of everyone that might be within earshot. His grin told you that too. He followed you; “It’s literally the second thing we ever did. And it was YOUR idea. I'm the innocent party in this." "You knew what you were doing..." you swung around the door, now the place was almost bare it had more space than Danny had ever made it look like it did. "Yeah, well you're still here... Can you imagine if I didn't! Oh, man..." Even he had to hesitate as he looked at the last box.  You watched him as he picked it up carefully, but stood for a good thirty seconds, before turning to you like he wasn't so sure what to do. You sighed;" Alright, give this place the send-off it deserves... Take me dancing." He smiled "in Little Havana?" "That exact dance floor." "I still get to take you back to the new place?" "Depends what the new place is like. Don't it." he remembered you hadn't seen it yet. "You'll like it. I've already started on fixing it up, see!!! Your boyfriend is just THAT considerate!" he gave a wink "Whatever he says..." you threw an arm around him "…I didn't spend nearly enough time here..." "Oh come on. You won't miss it and neither will I..." he puffed his cheeks "... I'll give it this. We started here. I guess I just never would have expected it to work out. Not this well." he tapped the wall "guess I owe it more than I realised!"

 **

His new apartment was much bigger. Ground floor and light, with distinct rooms. You were impressed.  Or you WERE impressed until you started staring at his decor. It wasn't even like he was trying to make it unnoticeable. About 2ft square the canvas was the only thing on his living room wall. This was the statement piece. Which, you wouldn't have minded. Were you not staring at yourself.

You weren't looking at the camera, but it was taken on your balcony. A bright summers day, you had a glass in your hand. By the dress you were wearing it had to have been a date... And it was recent telling by the 'D' around your neck. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!" "That is you..." he was nonchalant You pointed at it "Daniel Rayburn you take it down right now!!!! You are NOT keeping that up!!!" You were turning your usual shade of red. "it's damn huge...!! I don't want it there!!!" He scoffed; "Tough. My apartment and I want you on my wall!" "When the heck did you take it!?" "I take photographs all the time! Did you NEVER realise!?" "NO!!!" you were horrified, but it only made him chuckle. "That's probably good, Candids are the best... You look beautiful up there, what's wrong with you!? You ALWAYS look beautiful I had trouble with choosing just one...!" "Well, now I gotta put you up on my wall." Eye-for-an-eye style. If that was the plan, it didn’t work. Instead you were treated to another cheeky wink. “Well, I was beginning to wonder why I wasn't..."

It’d been a few years since that day. And in those intervening years much had happened... Too much... Some of which you’d rather forget.

**

Beth’s Apartment, Miami - Late AM

You pulled your car up to Beth’s apartment and rested your head on the steering wheel for a moment. Danny, what the hell did you get yourself into!? What the hell did you get ME into!? Beth was nice and all – she’d called you to help Danny out more than once; which had quickly made you see why Danny didn’t want you at a lot of the parties he attended - but she didn’t particularly sound pleased with you. You knew whatever it was was Danny’s fault and she couldn’t tell you over the phone, but she was certainly angry and nothing would do other than you driving out here to pick him up. You hopped out of your car and ascended to her apartment. You barely got to knock before she wrenched it open – she certainly looked angry. And you, without context weren’t exactly sure how to react; “Hi Be-” “Do you have ANY idea what your JACKASS of a boyfriend has just put me through!?!” Oh dear… “No. What’s he done?” “I just had to BAIL him from JAIL. BAIL HIM. ME!!” You furrowed your eyebrows together “…And I can pay you back…Beth, I’m sorry I don’t know why he wouldn’t…” You fished your phone out of your bag in preparation to transfer her the amount “I DAMN WELL DO!!” She stopped yelling at the expression on your face and took a deep breath, still sounding angry, she put her hands to her head “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be yelling at you… I just…” she folded her arms; “He won’t list you, Ms.Ervin because if it gets back to your family or leaks to the press that the daughter of Jack Ervin is dating the guy that held up a drug store with a gun and then was caught selling and in possession of said drugs, he knows he’ll fuck everything up.” You knew your mouth was hanging open; “He WHAT!?” “That’s what they told me!” “God, Danny!!!” You placed a hand to your forehead “Geez… Beth, I’m sorry… How much do I owe you.” “…It’s not even about the money, Y/N… He better damn well pay you back.”  She told you the figure and you shook your head “You didn’t have to do this…” You handed your phone over after typing out an almost eyewatering $8500 “…It’ll transfer instantly.” “I couldn’t just leave him there… He’d get stuck in the system… I mean, even I know he’s been through enough… Then what about you?” “Next time, just call me and I’ll go down.” “Well, we both better hope for his sake there isn’t a next time.” She took the phone from you apologetically as she typed her account in; “He’s still here?” “Yeah. I’m not letting him walk out there alone…” she opened her door, “C’mon.” Danny was sitting with his head between his legs and his hands over his face, Beth kicked his foot. “Time to go, Rayburn! Get out of my house.” He looked up to voice the obvious question, when he spotted you and his face almost went white. He turned to her again; “YOU CALLED HER!?!” “Of COURSE I called her!!” “I told you NOT to call her!!” “Well who else was going to come get you Danny!? Hmm? No way after that you are going home alone.” She pushed his back to get him to stand himself; “Now go home!” She wandered into the back of her apartment “Also! You owe your girlfriend the bail money she just paid me! Do not screw this one up!!!” He was silent as his eyes followed her and then he turned back to you. You weren’t intent on staying very long, standing in the doorway you flicked your head and walked outside. He scrambled to follow you; “Y/N! Y/N! It’s not what you…! God, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry..!” You stopped on the stairs and turned to him, you didn’t feel angry but knew you looked it at the way he stopped. “Danny. I don’t want to hear it. I just want to get you home.”

He slumped into the passenger seat and chewed his lip. You took a deep breath and started the engine. You didn’t like it when Danny got quiet – it meant he was calculating, it meant he was upset or worse... And you knew which one it was. “…Can I light up.” “NO.” “Y/N…” “NO! Danny, when has it ever been OKAY to smoke in my car!” “But I really need to-!” “NO. Don’t push it! Ok?!” He got quiet again and just stared out of the window. Fidgeting the whole way with the pack of cigarettes, he tapped his foot to a beat that wasn’t there... Truth was you weren’t exactly sure what to say to him – what he’d done was serious, and he clearly wasn’t blameless. You just wondered how in the hell he’d gotten himself into it. You wanted answers, but he was hurting, and that hurt you. You rolled the 4 x 4 into your parking spot after what felt like hours but was barely a 30-minute drive. You both sat in silence for a moment… You were staring out of your own window, before you took up the same position against your wheel again. Why? He noticed this and turned to you; “Y/N…” When you didn’t respond he tried again; “I know… I fucked up. Like I seriously fucked up. I get it… And I’m sorry… I’m really sorry… and you have, every, right to be mad at me… And I don’t… Well, I guess the problem is I DID know what I was thinking but I… I wanted to protect you from… This whole… God… I’m such a mess…” He sighed and opened his car door; “…Okay, you know what, you’re right. You don’t want to hear it and you don’t need this. Lemmie just call a cab, and I’ll get back to my apartment-” You moved, grabbing his hand as he was half way out of the vehicle; “You are NOT going anywhere. Danny Rayburn.” You shook your head “Yeah. You probably did fuck up. Considering what Beth told me. But don’t you DARE think about walking out of here.” You took his hand again and held it firmly upon exiting your vehicle. Pulling him through the security door and across the lobby to the lift bank; “If this ever happens again will you PLEASE call me?” “It wasn’t even supposed to go down like this…” The lift pinged and you both entered, as you pressed the button to your floor; “So you weren’t meant to get caught. Danny, that doesn’t make robbing the damn store in the first place alright!!!” “I know, and I’m sorry!” “You don’t have to say sorry to me. I’m not mad at you!!” Well, maybe you were a little “…I’m frustrated. You have Nolan, you have your restaurant, you have me!! You don’t need to do this!” “I told you, that restaurant does not pay all the bills.” He owed people, that’s what he was telling you, without saying it. “Danny, look at my family! LOOK at me!! TRUST me, you do not need to go anywhere else for money.” “NO! I can’t take it from you! Or your family!” “It’d be a loan, it’d be fine!” “NO.” He’d point blank refused to let you help out before, but honestly, if he was going to make money illegally you didn’t know why he was being so stubborn about this. Getting into debt with your parents, or you, would not be the same as falling in with bad people. You opened your apartment door and pointed to the balcony; “Now, you can light up… Just… give me a second…” He watched you go… then crossed your kitchen and living room, sliding open the balcony door – he pulled a cigarette from the pack and flicked the lighter taking a drag. Were you mad at him? You said you weren’t. But you looked mad, or maybe you looked hurt. Or maybe both… He could understand why you would be both. He was nearly two cigarettes down when you joined him outside. You pressed your hands into the metal railing and the wind played with your hair as you stared out towards the ocean. He took another drag of his cigarette before he turned to you… Then he stopped and squinted; “…Oh…Oh…Darlin’…” He closed the few steps between you “…Have you been cryin’?” You didn’t answer, so he reached out and turned your face towards him; “God… I’m so sorry…” Just how many times was he going to say that line? You shook your head, dipping from his line of sight, and pulled him close to you; “Do you have ANY idea what could have happened if it had gone wrong!? Danny… Don’t you EVER do something like this again…” “…I promise…” He whispered it softly, “Baby, I promise…” The last thing Danny Rayburn ever wanted was to make you cry… You squeezed him tighter to you, so you could feel that calm and steady heartbeat of his reverberate through your body, then you let him go, gently. Wiping your eyes, you looked into his. “I love you… Danny. I love you. But sometimes, the people you hang out with… some of the things you do. Baby, you scare me…” You shook your head gently, “Please… Stop…” He pondered your words for a moment, taking another drag from his cigarette, but he knew he wasn’t sure what to say. “I feel like I knew that….” And he was sure he did “…I’m sorry… I’m not thinkin’ and I think you know that… But, I’ma try… for you… and for Nolan. Ok?” You nodded, you knew Danny was better than this. But it was a long hard road for him – you just wanted to see him right on it. “Okay…” You leant up to kiss him, and he accepted by kissing you back. “I love you, too…” This time when he pressed his cigarette to his lips his look was sincere. And you knew he meant it. REALLY meant it.

 **

 Danny’s Apartment / Miami Coast Line - Noon/Late

You sung along to your radio all the way to Danny’s apartment. It wasn’t often he insisted staying in his own, he just still wasn’t ready to introduce Nolan to yours yet. It made sense, Nolan was a young impressionable teen… Danny was intent on making the best impression. You were dancing in the front seat, windows down, music blasting – shades on. It was nearly mid-day and the sun was high but the breeze off the water today was cool. You turned into the apartment complex and rolled to a stop. Even with the radio off you were still humming along as you stepped out of the car. And you realised you had until you walked up to Danny’s front door to decide on something for you all to do today… Well. There was always the boat… Maybe not the one you’d taken Danny on though… too many memories completely inappropriate to be reminded of around his teenage son. You shouldered your bag and pushed your shades into your hair. By the time you’d looked up you realised they were both already outside… Geez, give a girl a minute…! You began walking up the path, and opened your mouth to greet Nolan. Then stopped when you realised that he wasn’t smiling as he started down the path towards you; “Hey…You, okay?” He barely stopped “No.” “…Nolan!” “No, you know what it’s fine!” “Where are you--!?” “Anywhere else!” He yelled, taking off down the sidewalk. You looked on after him, for a few seconds before turning to Danny, who was standing in the door arms folded; you pointed behind you – “What…?” “It doesn’t matter.” “Doesn’t!?” You turned back to Nolan, now nearly half way down the street “DANNY! Did you guys have an argument?!” You checked your watch, “You can’t have been back from the restaurant 20 minutes! What happened!” “Y/N – It doesn’t matter.” “Of course it matters!” “Why?” He gave a nonchalant shrug, “He’s made it perfectly clear he doesn’t want to see me.” He closed the door behind him and shuffled down the path to you. You looked to him, “But we were gonna…” “Yeah, well. Not anymore. Just let him go.” “You don’t mean that…” You could see he was trying to keep his face from betraying him “…Danny… you don’t…” You turned back to Nolan, “Oh. Geez…! NOLAN WAIT!!” You ran back down the path; “What the hell are you doing!?” Danny called after you, making you turn back; “I won’t watch your son walk away from you Danny. I can’t…!” For one, you knew it would break your heart. You had to run to catch up with him; “Nolan! Nolan… wait up…” It was almost a surprise that he did in fact stop and turn as you jogged to a stop; “…I don’t need to know what it was about…” You held your hands up “Hell, I know – but equally I know I don’t know…!” Danny could be difficult, and you couldn’t fathom what his relationship with Nolan really was. Danny wanted to pour as much into Nolan as he did keep him at arm’s length. It hurt the teen more than Danny thought it did.  “…Look, I wanted this to be a good day for you… So… If you want to do something… We can just… I’d just... Really appreciate it if you didn’t leave.” “…He doesn’t care.” “No, he only acts that way. And it’s a dumb way to act… He’s good at pushing people away when he cares… It’s a constant uphill battle. You shouldn’t have to fight it…” you threw your arms as if to say hell if you could ever understand Danny Rayburn “… The problem is having to accept we do. Look, I got a good plan going… And I’d like you to be part of it. But, only if you want to sweetie.” You really really liked Nolan. You weren’t about to watch Danny waste this. He huffed and folded his arms too, looking away from you and thinking on it for far longer than he had spent making up his mind; a typical teenager. “Does he have to come?” You laughed, “Just push him off the Yacht, you’ll feel better. Honest.” You turned back to unlock your car that Danny was now leaning against, watching you both shyly. “Sorry!? Did you just say Yacht!?” Nolan then jogged to keep up with you “You have a yacht!? Awesome!” And it almost sounded genuine. “Can I leave you two alone for five minutes without you wanting to walk all the way back. Because you will be walking from here…” Your question was more directed at Danny, and you only received a half nod. Neither of them had spoken more than about two words yet. You’d rectify that. You were determined to rectify that. You left the car, hopeful it might give them some time to cool off and apologise for whatever... But fully expecting to see your dad’s assistant greeting you with keys, you were surprised to discover that it was him. “Papa?!” “I’m only working on the waterfront,” He pointed in an unclear direction; “thought I’d come see your boys.” “I left them in the car!” You indicated behind you “but I’ll go get ‘em...” “I’ll meet you down there!” He was already walking down the pier. You shook your head, it was all men... you were pretty sure. ALL of them were like this! You wandered back to your 4x4; it still didn’t look like they were talking... “Okay, out you get. Dad is here. Best behaviour.” Today was obviously going to be like having two kids, rather than your boyfriend and his teenage son.

They walked apart down nearly the entire pier... you wondered if it was more a game of who could hold out the longest without apologising. Honestly! They both instantly changed their attitudes as your dad stepped off the smaller vessel. “Jack!” “Danny! A pleasure as always! Nolan!! Great to see you!” He gave Danny a firm handshake, but went for a full hug with Nolan. When you first told your parents about Nolan you were wondering what they would say. At that point you shouldn’t have been surprised by their surprise reaction. You guessed it might be because they had expected a man of Danny’s age to have been in a serious relationship, or married, before. Certainly the kind of relationship where children was plausible. Of course their first reaction was, how did you feel about that and then, seen as you were totally cool with it (obviously), when they would get to meet him. Since then, your parents had invited Danny and Nolan to dinner on numerous occasions, and included Nolan in any family event. If Danny was family to them, it was only natural that Nolan would be too.

You left them to chat with your dad as you checked the boat was ready to go. Considerably smaller than the yacht it was moored next to, your dad had already seen to nearly all preparations in the time it had taken you to walk here. Your dad turned back to you “Sure you’re okay with how fast this thing goes?!” Oh here we go... if he could get a dig in at the first few times you’d been out, when he was trying to teach you how to drive NO less!!, then he would. You wondered how it had factored into the conversation this time... “I’ll be okay. It’s been a while since...!” “I’m only saying you got a couple of strong men here... one of which can actually drive a boat.” You let out a sigh, and heard both Danny and Nolan laugh. “If I can steer the other one, this’ll be just fine.” “Yeah I’m glad I got her back in one piece.” “Guess you’ll be thanking Danny for that too, huh?”  You and your father both folded your arms defiantly “Yeah. He’s a good man. I’m only worried about the speed.” “I know what I’m doing.” “My red tape mark says otherwise.” This was leaving the other two cracking up. “... Oh my god... you are kidding!!!” You turned around to check; sure enough, your father had taped back the little marker he used for the top speed you were allowed to go. Back in your teens. You were sure that was just for Danny and Nolan’s entertainment. “Now you boys take care of her alright, make sure she doesn’t go too fast! And not a shade over that line!” Still chuckling they both boarded; “Don’t worry Mr.Ervin we won’t!” “We’ll have her back with you this evening. Say 9?” “Woah. Danny... 8:30, don’t go getting ahead of yourself.” Finally you could laugh at someone else. “Estrellita, no staying at the houses of other men tonight!!” He winked “... You’re lucky I trust you with this one!” “I’m in good hands dad don’t worry!” “Oh I know! I wouldn’t trust just anyone with you!” He had a sincerity that you could tell hit both Danny AND Nolan hard. Your dad held out the keys, “So? Who is getting these.” You pointed to Danny “As you’re so confident in the Rayburn’s.” Danny opened his mouth to protest but missed his chance as Jack chucked him the keys. “Be careful with her!” “I’ll get it back in one piece, Sir...” Your father chuckled, unmooring the boat “Not what I meant...!”

 Danny made sure the boat ran smoothly as he headed out across the stretch of water; “You just wanna head out anywhere...” He was clearly addressing you, as you watched the Miami skyline unfurl in front of you. Nolan was at the other end of the vessel running his hands through the sea. You stood and crossed to Danny “Uh... I didn’t have a place in mind... I wasn’t going to take him where we were last time, if that’s what you mean...” “Okay...” he checked the gauges; “I’ll take her a few more miles...”  you were still looking to Nolan “I’ll do it.” “What?” He turned his attention to you “Why?” You nodded back towards his son; “I don’t care what happened, but one of you needs to be the bigger man.” “Me?!” “You’re his father, Danny, yes you!” He sighed and gave you something close to a pout; “So you think this is my fault?!” “NO! I didn’t say that. I’m trying to fix it. Go... Go on…” you pushed him gently “I got this. Just... talk to him!!”

 You took the boat another few miles out and let her coast perpendicular to South Beach. When you turned back they were at least talking. Both of them hunched over the side and mumbling, looking back towards the city. You left them for a little while, going through what exactly your dad had decided to ‘get ready’... The cooler was a good indication of what he thought the day would entail. You opened it; breathing a sigh of relief when you realise that he remembered Nolan was underage. You guessed as it would just be an afternoon trip you didn’t need anything more than a few good drinks. You pulled one out and popped the top. The sound made both of them turn towards you. “Oh. I notice you heard that!” Danny pointed at you, “That better be alcohol!!” “NO! It’s soda! I don’t want to be the bad influence on this one!” You took a sip, indicating to Nolan; “Aw c’mon Y/N - you really think YOU’RE the bad influence here?!” Nolan looked between you and Danny a few times before Danny realised what he was doing; “Hey-!” You both laughed at that. “But there is alcohol in there, right?!” “Looks like...” “Excellente!” Danny stood and opened the cooler up; before you realised what was going on, he had handed Nolan a bottle. Nolan thanked his father, but you weren’t so keen “Uh! That better be Non-Alcoholic young man!” He hesitated, making Danny laugh; “Aw, C’mon! Like you didn’t do a little underage drinking!” “Yeah – My parents didn’t condone it!” “His mom’s not here!” Nolan took a sip with a laugh, making you cover your eyes “Oh God! I’m not seeing this!!” “Go into international waters! You’ll be fine!” “NO! That might get me in even MORE trouble!”

*

“Nolan you know how to drive one of these right?!” “What?!” He looked to you, “He doesn’t. But no time like the present.” Danny took a gulp of beer. “I was gonna say, my dad put that marker on as a joke but it’s a good little marker for beginners...” “Are you serious?!?” Nolan jumped out of his seat; “You got a good teacher. I’m not too bad either.” You laughed, realising Danny was referencing you. “Oh. No. Rayburn, he’s your son!!” “Yeah alright, Ervin. Then we’ll do this together...!” “He doesn’t need my bad habits!” “At least you admit you have them!” Danny beckoned Nolan over; “C’mon. I’m sure she’ll help get the basics down...!”

You observed the hysterical exchanges going on between Nolan and Danny the whole way back to port. Glad that now they were at least laughing in each other’s company. As you watched them, framed by the boat, the water, the Miami skyline, you knew perfectly well you could stay here forever. It might not have been that kind of family… But you were a family none the less… You loved them both. Truly, you knew what you already knew. This would be long haul. Ride or die. All or nothing.

**

Viva Caputa, Miami - PM

You wanted to be in that restaurant. When Danny told you he was doing this you wanted nothing more than to be there. He forbid it. You absolutely were NOT setting foot in that restaurant today under any circumstances. And you continued this back-and-forth until he pulled up outside; “You should let me.” “No. Absolutely not.” “Why?! Are you scared of what I’m going to say to him?!” “I kinda am. Yeah.” You folds your arms to prove your point “You don’t think I’m scared of what he’s gonna say to you?!” No dice though. So in the car you stayed.

This was the most nerve wreaking hour of your life. Part of you thought about defying Danny and just heading into the restaurant anyway... or sneaking in to listen to the conversation. But you knew you would be betraying Danny’s trust, and you knew Robert. If he said anything, no matter how small or veiled, you wouldn’t be able to contain yourself and then there would be problems.

Eventually, Nolan wandered out of the restaurant and to the car. You raised an eyebrow; “What’s going on?” Nolan shrugged; “He told me to wait in the car...” You tapped your fingernails on the dashboard “...Robert has NO idea I’m here does he.” “Nope.” You shook your head, staring back at the door from the window... “What did you think?” “Of Robert...? He’s uh... okay, I guess. I mean, I thanked him... He doesn’t need to send money every month.” You opened your mouth and then decided to hold your tongue. Nolan was right, you guessed, but he was also their Grandson... and if they knew about him they should have been doing a lot damn more than sending money each month. It was another while later that Danny and Robert exited the restaurant. They said goodbye like strangers, and went separate ways... you figured this couldn’t be good.  Danny took a deep breath before he opened the car door; “Alright. Let’s go.” “Did it go okay?” “It went Ok.” But he didn’t look at you, and his voice was level. Something was clearly off, because of Danny had got what he wanted he’d be running his mouth. You let it go, if only for Nolan’s sake. Danny started the engine and turned back to Nolan “Thank you for doing this...” “No problem dad! It was kinda good to meet him.” You watched Danny carefully, but he was being just as careful not to show anything on his face... “Yeah... you’re right...” The drive back to Nolan and Eve’s was quiet. Each of you preoccupied with your own thoughts. You clearly desperate to say something and Danny swearing you to silence with his body language alone. Nolan hopefully none the wiser... but he was a smart kid, so he probably figured something was going on.

You only opened your mouth once Danny pulled away from the curb; “Tell me what happened.” He released the breath he’d been holding waiting for you to say it; “With Nolan he was actually quite amicable. Which I’m glad of... because the last thing I want is him to cause my kid any problems... with me? Well... You know my dad.” “Danny...” you shook your head “...So he said no?” “Not exactly.” “Baby it’s clear he didn’t say yes...” Danny shook his head “No. He made me chose.” “What?!” “Money for the restaurant. Or the money he provides for Nolan.” You were almost speechless. That money was hush money for a start, and seen as Danny had already confessed to you his parents tried to stop Nolan from ever happening, it made you even more angry. Robert was making Danny choose between arguably his greatest achievement and his dream. You weren’t having it. “And?” He gave a half laugh “I chose Nolan. No question.” You were grateful. But it was also clear Danny had no other choice. That didn’t stop you from being pissed that after all Danny’s hard work and what he had to show for it his family still treated him SO badly. It was horrific for you to think that after everything Danny still literally couldn’t do anything right in the eyes of his own family. And you damned every single one of them.

“Danny... that’s just... absolutely... your family, your parents, are just despicable...” He knew there was more to your statement than just this single event. Suddenly you realised this has nothing to do with Sarah, Sarah was an excuse. Sarah was long in the past… Danny had made mistakes (with no wonder WHY!!) and you’d seen them. But to tear him down when he’d done all this ALONE was the most heart-breaking thing. It was sick and to your horror you knew it’s never going to stop. It should have ended on his accomplishment with the restaurant alone. Danny had bet on himself and STILL... it was obvious to you now if it wasn’t clear before; HE was too good for them. He just gave a helpless shrug “What can I do about it?” He laughed “He actually asked me to go to my siblings! Can you believe that?! Meg and Kevin - I don’t think so... and John? He’s given me enough... he’s a better big brother than I am...” You folded your arms; “Screw it. Danny you don’t need them...” shaking your head you looked out the window again “You know I’m so angry that I don’t even know what to say but I just can’t shut up!!” He laughed; “Exactly why you being there would not have been a good idea...” “How are my parents friends with yours?!” “Oh yeah cuz this is the exterior my dad gives off...” he waved his hand “... what do your parents know.” “What I know is that my parents are better parents to you than your own.” He tipped his head “That’s not untrue... they certainly treat Nolan like family.” “Well then.” You ran your hands through you hair and breathed out “Danny I’m sorry.” “You keep sayin’ that... but you can’t change them. Or the past.” “If they continue to use what happened as an excuse... then I think it’s them that needs to change.” You placed your hand over his on the wheel “You’ve done enough. And you have so much more to show for it than them. And More importantly Danny. You’re a better person, and they can’t ever take that from you.” He lifted your hand to his lips and kissed your knuckles, mumbling against your skin “…That’s why I have you…”

 **

Viva Caputa, Miami - AM Your phone rang in the middle of an important work meeting. Buzzing loudly against the table you picked it up so not to disturb your colleagues train of thought. Catching a glimpse of the caller, however, made you stop in your tracks. He barely ever called you when you were working. And never on your work phone. “Sorry. I have to take this!” Your boss waved you out, understanding, and you picked up on the final ring which clearly didn't help whatever the situation was; “Dan-” you barely got his name out, “Y/N..! Oh T-thank God-I- I...” He sounded panicked and he was most certainly in tears. “My God... Danny what's wrong??” “Just... G-Get down here. Please.” “To the restaurant? Danny are you okay?” “No... Just... Please hurry.” With that he hung up, and his panic transferred to you. But now was not a time to panic. You tapped on the door to beckon Rich over, “Is everything okay?” “No. Danny doesn't call at work and not on this number ever. Somethings going on... I need to go...” He smiled “Take all the time you need, take the rest of the day at home. We'll be fine.' “You sure?” “You know this back to front. Go...! If he needs you, go!”

You drove as fast as the limit and traffic conditions let you, but a few blocks out you could see the smoke rising. No, please God no... As you got even closer water was running all over the street from the fire trucks present. And you couldn't park up fast enough. When you found him he was sitting in the middle of the parking lot, his legs crossed. Staring at the restaurant but not seeing it. He had a pack of cigarettes and his lighter in front of him, but it was like he couldn't even bring himself to calm down yet. You ran across the lot then slowed as you reached him, without hesitation you crouched to his level and threw your arms around him. “I'm sorry... I'm so, so, so sorry” You were crying too now. This was Danny's life. And it'd just gone up in flames like everything else. Eventually he responded, winding his arms tightly around you as you both sat crying in the parking lot. He was broken enough, he didn't need this, and he certainly didn't need to say anything.

It was early, and there was no-one here yet. But as people turned up for their shifts you decided to start directing them back home. Only Javier and Jason stayed. They were clearly concerned for their friend, but you kept them down the other end of the lot; “Is he gonna be OK?” Jason peered around you. Danny was still sitting in the same position you'd left him in. “I don't think it's even registered yet...” You shook your head “he's in shock. God knows what I tell Nolan...” Javier frowned “Wasn’t this Danny's life? Geez after the remodel we just went through... I feel terrible.” He was right. And Danny still owed a lot of money for that loan. You turned to them both; “You better get off home… I got him… Thank you… For staying.” “If you need anything…” Jason put his hand on your shoulder, sincere “ANYTHING. Help with Danny or… CALL me. CALL us.” You nodded, grateful and thinking you might need it before the week was out. “Thank you. Both of you…”

“Danny...” You sank back down to the floor “Danny, sweetheart we need to go... we need to let them finish up here... Baby, there’s nothing we can do...” “Y/N! N-No-! Just-! Please!” You picked him up off the floor, and he was only a little reluctant to let you tug his arm around your shoulders. You gathered the cigarettes he still hadn’t touched; “Baby, please... let me take you home...” You almost had to drag him back to the car and help him into the front seat. He still wasn’t entirely in the moment and aware of the situation... You’d done all you could here and you couldn’t watch him sit there and suffer anymore. You placed his things in his lap and wandered back around to your side. Without daring to look back at the restaurant once, you started the engine and pulled away.

 So as to keep Danny moving, you took the long scenic route back to your apartment. You wanted to keep him lucid, but knew half of what you were talking was nonsense. You were talking at him and not to him... He kept flicking his lighter, back and forth, staring hard at your dashboard... You guessed it was a blessing that he hadn’t told you to shut up yet, because you needed to talk... Eventually, you ran out of things to say but you were still driving. He was still playing with his Lighter... You sighed and slowed your car down... Leaning across him you wound down his window. Danny only moved to steady the wheel for you, you sat up, looking across to him. “If you’re gonna do it... Danny...” you nodded to the window, “Please do...” He looked back to you. Danny smoked sometimes to relieve tension. You’d seen him do it to stop himself arguing, as much as he did when he had finished an argument. Of course, he smoked a lot anyway but this was another one of his ticks... He pulled one out of the pack and held it delicately between his lips. Looking across to you again, his eyes gave his question for him. Signalling you could back out. You wouldn’t. This once, you wouldn’t. When you didn’t respond he flicked his lighter and lit up. It was a long drag, and the sigh he made when he breathed out was the unhappiest you’d heard Danny in a while. **

Your Apartment, Uptown Miami - AM

About a week past where nothing really happened. Danny became quiet, withdrawn and didn’t have much of an appetite to do anything. You guessed that was better than him going and getting himself thrown in jail again. Still, that didn’t stop you from worrying all day when you departed in the morning only to come back to find him in exactly the same place you’d left him – wondering if he’d moved at all during the day. Every time you tried to broach the subject of fronting any money for him to rebuild he wasn’t having it. And you stopped trying when he seemed to only get angry about it, rather than politely saying no.

This weekend was another when you would be seeing Nolan, though. And you thought it might cheer him up. Apparently no such luck, at least not this morning. You wrapped your arms around him and kissed his shoulder; “We’re meant to pick Nolan up… you know?” “…Hmm…” That was close enough to acknowledgement “…So…Are you coming?” “…No…” You guessed it was an actual word “Baby, why not?” “…NO…” You sighed; “Well, you’re gonna be alright when he gets here, right…?” You propped yourself up on your elbow to look at him properly, he just continued staring at the wall. And for once you’d give anything to know what was going on behind those eyes. “…Yeah…Go get him.” It didn’t sound at all convincing, but you knew it would be on Danny if no one turned up for his kid. Eve was pretty much always on the edge of ‘just had it’ with Danny as it was. Better not to make her that way with you too. You dressed and got ready quickly, turning as you went to shut the bedroom door behind you; “I’ll be back within the hour, okay?” “Ok…” “Danny…” “Yes?” “I love you.” “Hm.” You shook your head. If he wasn’t going to play ball you’d just have to do something with Nolan yourself. You closed the door behind you and ran to catch the lift down to the parking lot.

 “Hey!” “…Where’s dad?” “Let’s not even go there…” You waved to Eve from your driver’s seat, she smiled and waved enthusiastically back. “…We will have to see when we get back to mine.” “Oh. Well. Shit.” Nolan opened the car door, and also waving to his mom, belting himself in as you pulled away from the curb. “That sums it up yeah…” “He’s really that bad!?” “…I dunno… He’s not really… Talking. That worries me only because he talks about everything…” “I can’t imagine that.” “Yeah…” You agreed with a laugh, “You’d think it’d be okay. It is, for the first hour.” You sighed “Anyway, plans for today?” “Won’t it depend on him?” “No! If he’s not gonna come out I’m determined to take you out somewhere…” “Surprise me.” “…Fine! How’d you feel about ice-cream?” “What?” He had an edge to his voice that let you know he thought you were treating him like 6 of his 16 years. “…That’s a clear No.” “I didn’t say that!” “There’s a great little homemade ice-cream bar I know down by South Beach… Puerto Rican… You can practice your Spanish on someone who isn’t me. I haven’t even taken Danny yet so…” “Yeah… sure…” You liked that he sounded at least curious. If Nolan was to give anyone any of his teenage attitude he never gave it to you. You unlocked the door to your apartment and stepped in. Within 5 seconds, and horrified, you attempted to usher Nolan out and close the door on him before he could walk in. In vain; the kid was strong. “…Is that…?” He didn’t dare voice it either. “Shit! Danny!!” Your alcohol cupboard was also open. A half-finished bottle of vodka stood on the counter. The bottle next to it, you couldn’t read the label of, was tipped on its side and clearly finished. Across your kitchen counter, however, was a line of white powder that you weren’t stupid enough to think was sugar. Drinking was one thing, illegal substances in your apartment was quite another. What do you even do about that!?! You placed your hands against your head trying to think quickly, until there was a crash from your bedroom. At least he hadn’t left. Nolan took a step forward but you pushed him back; “NO. No, no. I got this.” “Y/N..! Do you think that’s a good idea!?” He indicated to the counter. “…If he’s high and drinking then yeah, it is. Wait here.” You crept up the corridor, knocking gently on your bedroom door - your heart was racing. When you didn’t receive a response you opened it carefully. Danny was sitting on the end of your bed, head in his hands. Amazingly the room didn’t look out of place, until you glanced to the wall, whatever liquid was in the glass was now running down it, the remains of the tumbler was shattered and covered the floor. You kicked the door to with the back of your heel; “…Danny?” Dammit, you couldn’t have hated yourself more for the timid nature of your voice. He didn’t look up “…Danny.” You tried again, a little more confident “…Baby… What…?” He groaned “Just. Leave.” “What!?” This was your apartment. And you weren’t about to leave him alone with drink AND drugs “No- What?! I’m not just gonna leave!” He made a sound like he was angry and looked at you; “GO! GET OUT!” You weren’t sure you liked his tone of voice either. “I am NOT leaving you! Don’t you dare ask me to!” He stood and you backed yourself against the door “I am NOT ASKING.”  Despite this you still tried; “Danny. You are high and god knows how much you’ve drunk. You need help. RIGHT now. And I can’t leave!” He took a step forward “WHY?! WHY THE HELL DO YOU EVEN CARE Y/N!? Look at me!” You were, and you didn’t like what you were seeing “I’m a fucking MESS!” “I care because I LOVE you.” Why was he being like this!? Well, you knew WHY… But that didn’t mean you understood. He shook his head and advanced on you, and it pained you that you could feel yourself shaking; “Okay. Try this. I don’t care about you. You don’t mean anything to me. And if I mean something to you… You mean less than nothing to me.” Owch. It was like being stabbed through the heart, and you hated even more that your vision blurred and tears started running. He laughed at that, hollow. Not the man you knew. “SEE!! SEE! This is so fucking perfect! THIS!! THIS IS ME!” You couldn’t believe that for a second. You wouldn’t and you knew you were right. But you couldn’t stop how much what he had just said was hurting you, he kept yelling, but you weren’t even registering what he was saying. Only he was getting closer and you didn’t like it. He was trying to push you away, you weren’t having that. “STOP IT!” You were loud enough to stop his tirade. You shook your head, tears still running, your voice trembled, but you would not raise it; not to Danny. Not now. That’s exactly what he wanted, he wanted you to scream at him, he wanted you to tell him to leave and slam that door behind you and never see him again. You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of being right “…I don’t know who the hell you think you are Danny Rayburn. But don’t you EVER tell me I mean nothing to you. I don’t know what is wrong with you. But I know you’re high, and you’re drunk and you are going to regret EVERYTHING you just said to me.” You pulled your bedroom door open and slammed it behind you. You weren’t sure if you could stop Danny from leaving, but you could take every set of keys that was here to try. You walked back through into the kitchen trying to dry your eyes before you got back to Nolan. But he was standing there in shock. And you realised he’d heard everything. “He can’t talk to you like that…” You took a breath; “Nolan. Don’t.” “HE CAN’T!”  It took everything you had to push him back “Leave it!! Nolan! Please! I beg you just leave it!” “You’re crying! How can you say that…!!” “Nolan… Please… For me. Don’t go in there…” “…Why?” “He is not himself…” “No shit! He’s drinking and has God knows how much cocaine in him!” “Please..! Can we just… go…” Nolan sighed, because you clearly weren’t giving this one up. “Okay…” He headed towards the front door and that’s when you noticed your kitchen counter was spotless, the cupboard was closed and the empty bottle was sat for recycling. “…Did you just do this…?” “Yeah.” “What did you do with the…?” “It doesn’t matter.” “Nolan!” “It’s not here anymore. That’s all that matters.” “Does he have anymore…” Nolan blatantly lied; “I’d say not. I think he did enough to finish it.” You didn’t question that Nolan had likely found the rest somewhere and had disposed of it, but if he wanted to keep that to himself you didn’t blame him.

***

 You still weren’t sure what you were going to find when you opened the door. Inserting the key you leant your head against it. “Do you want me to go in first?” You took a deep breath “Nope…” If things were better, you needed to talk to his father first. If not you weren’t about to let Danny say something stupid. The lock clicked open to the apartment looking exactly how you had left it. “Danny?” You were still met with silence. “Could he have left?” “He wouldn’t get far. I’ve got all the keys…” You walked on through, there were no signs of him, and your bedroom door was still closed; “Just let me check…” “If he starts yelling again you can’t stop me!” You turned back to Nolan; “Yeah okay… Get settled!” You opened your bedroom door. No? He wasn’t clearly in your bedroom, you glanced to the wall. The glass had disappeared from the floor, and the bed looked half made. Surely he hadn’t actually walked out of your front door? You said you weren’t leaving so he did? Well, at least he could only go back to his apartment. Then you heard it, faint with the door closed your onsuite fan hummed almost inconspicuously. You placed your bag down on the bed, also noticing his mobile was still on the bedside table. You placed your hand on the cool metal handle but it took you a good minute to open it. He was sitting with his knees up, head back against the cool tiles of your shower cubicle. His eyes were closed and he had one hand against his forehead and one over his knees. The rise and fall of his chest let you know he was at least alive. “…Danny…?” “Ugh…” He laughed, again un-genuine, “…What are you doing back…? Can’t you go hate me somewhere else…?” You shook your head. His voice was dry and it cracked in places. He coughed and took a sip from the glass of what you hoped was water next to him. “It at least sounds like you might be sober?” “Maybe…” He breathed it “Everything hurts and I’ve more than paid for it…” That left you to guess he was in here because his stomach was now empty. “…I’m such an fucking jackass…” You stepped over to the wall opposite him. “This might be the one time I don’t disagree with you.” “…I can’t believe I…” He sighed “Go on… Just… tell me you’re done. Kick me out… I get it.” “...Look at me.” He didn’t. He dipped his head before he opened his eyes. “Danny. LOOK at me.” “So I can see how disappointed you are? Or how angry or… how…” he shook his head “Scared? I can’t get that LOOK out of my head.” “Look at me.” You repeated it again, and slowly he raised his eyes to meet yours, he looked incredibly guilty. You took a deep breath; “I’m not kicking you out. OR leaving you.” “Why?! I would! After saying that!? Even in my state that was TOO far!” “Yeah, I know what you said. I know what you wanted. Because it’s easier for you, isn’t it? To deal with something by not having to deal with anyone else. But you’re stuck with me. As for Nolan…” “SHIT!” “Yeah well, he heard everything, so I’d apologise to him first.” “I haven’t even got sorry out yet. I didn’t even… SEE! This is why you should just…” He stopped for a minute and you thought he might be sick. “You okay?” “Yeah… Yeah… I…” He placed his hands on his stomach “Oh… God…” “How much did you take?” “…I did three lines… and drank something like a bottle and a half…” “THREE lines!?” “I know I know… I shouldn’t even have it.” “NO. There’s that…” He placed his arms across his knees again and rested his head against them; “Y/N... I just lost... everything... there’s nothing left... except...”  he waved in the general direction of the kitchen... you shook your head.

“Daniel Rayburn you’ve never been more wrong of anything in your entire life.” He lifted his eyes to look at you, you’d called him Daniel so, this was serious “I know... The restaurant is your life. A symbol of everything you built and everything you achieved... But it is material... Baby... You have me. More importantly than that you have Nolan... And that boy... He’s going to be a great man...” “In spite of me, not because of it.” “... You’re wrong. He is going to be a great man LIKE his father is. Self-made. Resourceful. Smart.” You couldn’t keep from laughing to yourself “One hell of a looker...” You leant on your hand for a second “That’s what I love about you Danny. Not your name, who you are. Not what you came from, what you have DONE. You don’t think I would want to stick around? You’re at a low point and I know it... And you know it... But, baby, I can’t wait to be around to see the bounce back...” He sighed and looked back to you, “…Please… I’m begging you to stop looking at me like that.” “Like what?” You weren’t aware that you were looking at him like anything “Like you love me.” “Well that’s unfortunate…” You slid down the wall to his level. “I DO love you.” “After what I just said…?” “You weren’t you. Half YOUR problem is you want to push people away… I understand why. But I don’t think you understand that not everyone wants to be pushed away…” “Don’t you hate me…? You must hate me a little…?” You smiled, shaking your head with a little laugh; “I don’t hate you… I could never hate you. That’s my Fucking problem...”

@stcphstrange - We made it!! All the way here! 4 to go! ❤

[the-pen-and-the-stethoscope]

my official, uninterrupted, unapologetic thoughts on the album Lover by Taylor Swift as i listen in its entirety at 6:30 am on Friday morning after working until 10 pm the night before.

Before I start I am already emotional. my hands are sweating. my heart is pounding. are those tears in my eyes or am i exhausted? idk. ok here we go...

1) fuck yes. snaps. love a song with snaps. A BEAUTIFUL BREAKUP SONG ABOUT HOW YOU JUST DONT EFING CARE ANYMORE. ahhh i love how there is like this build up and you think it’s going to be a headbanger of a chorus but then it just stops and it’s like...oh wait actually this is v calm right now i just dont care about you anymore. but also OMG SHE JUST LAUGHED ummm also I love how upbeat this is. i guess what im saying is that WANEGBT walked so I Forgot That You Existed could run. 

2) MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. this song will always bring me back to being on an airplane flying to Peru because it is literally the only song I listened for my entire trip to Peru last spring. but also from the moment it came out I was obsessed with the unapologetic happiness in the song and it’s all about YOURSELF. WAIT WTF WHERE’S THE SPELLING LINE THATS MY FAVORITE TO YELL????? TAYLOR WHERE IS IT??? WHERE IS IT??? i’ll be taking this up with my lawyers. your people will hear from my people. 

3) well i just went back to my spotify and REALIZED THAT IT WAS ON FUCKING SHUFFLE FUCK ME. OK WE ARE STARTING AGAIN. 

1) SECOND LISTEN THOUGHTS ON IFTYE: this song is just the perfect beat. i just realized that she laughs TWICE actually (maybe more??) and this is my official petition that she laughs during all live performances. thanks. 

2) OMG REP VIBES WITH THAT LOW BASE SYNTH. oh wow I love this transition much more than the one to ME! I’m glad that was on shuffle the first time. This literally could be a REP song. GETAWAY CAR THAT’S WHAT IT REMINDS ME OF! OH. MY. GOD. WELL THANKS FOR PUTTING A REP SONG ON LOVER OK IM NOT OK. did she just say “loving you aint the worst thing...you are the worst!”? Idk I will evaluate the lyrics a second (third...fourth...fifth...) time. 

3) AHHHH LOVER OMG OK LET ME JUST STARE AT MY CEILING FOR THIS ONE. “Swear to take this magnetic force of a man” is up there on favorite tswift lines. cant decide if i want this to my first dance song at my wedding OR the song that plays near the end of the reception when everyone is tired and like all the couples come up and dance and so then it’s like you get to see how many people are in love OR the song that i save for afterwards when we are alone in our hotel room. good to know i’ve got options. 

4) god damn HERE WE GO WITH SOME REP VIBES. (to clarify any deep base pulsating beat is rep vibes to me apparently) lyrics: “they’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to” “every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you” “they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve” “I’D BE JUST LIKE LEO” GOD THIS IS AMAZING I’M OBSESSED. “If I was a man I’d be THE MAN” 

5) OMG THE ARCHER. WAS LISTENING TO THIS LAST NIGHT AND THINKING LIKE....THIS MIGHT BE FAVORITE ONE????? I KNOW SO SO EARLY BUT SO FAR IT HOLDS UP IT’S JUST LIKE....THAT SLOW BUILD I LOVE IT. EVERY TIME I LISTEN THERE IS A DIFFERENT MEANING. AMAZING SONG TO RUN TO LIKE ON REPEAT. WHICH IS HARD TO FIND. PROBABLY HARDER TO MAKE. I STAN. 

6) THERE YA GO MISS SWIFT WITH THE SNAPS AGAIN. ohhh hmmmm someone’s horneyyyyy this song feels like a whisper...like you’re at a bar and you are like pointing out this hot guy you’ve been seeing around and you whisper to your friend ‘that’s the one’. OMG BRIDGE. WAIT WHAT OMG WAIT OMG WHAT BRIDGE BRIDGE BRIDGEEEEEE. well okay I kinda feel like a huge wind just knocked me off my feet. i’m slightly stunned. no time to process before...

7) OMG TALK ABOUT REP VIBES. This could be a beautiful music video. This is like -- i have a lot of feelings none of them have words but this song has a BLACK vibe and a DARK vibe and i’m picturing a high school shrouded in clouds at night. running through the hallways in a ripped dress. Wow wow wow. 

8) oh good some happy songs again. ahhhhhhhhh now THIS I CAN DANCE TO. AHHHHHHHHHHH I’M IN LOOVE. this is so freaking romantic. OH ANOTHER BRIDGE FROM BRIDGE CITY. Taylor like you brought it with these bridges girl. OMG THE SLOW FADE AWAY AT THE END...SOBBING.....

9) THE BEST PART ABOUT THIS IS I’M ONLY HALFWAY DONE. Oh wow is this song going to make me cry? just obsessed with how etherial this is. wow omg this is like the most complex love story ever written in a song ever. so many twists and turns i’m just sitting here asking questions!!! What happened on cornelia street that you dont want it again? why did you pack your bags? OH YAY HE GOT YOU TO COME BACK. OMG DOES EVERYONE HEAR THAT THUNDER EFFECT IN THE BACKGROUND???? omg wait omg that last line!? I will be listening to this A LOT.

10) I feel like taylor’s got a lot of happy sounding songs that are breakup songs and a lot of sad sounding songs that are actually about being in love on this album it’s so interesting!!! like this is a breakup song and wow everything about it is upbeat and pop-y. “trying to find a part of me you didn’t take up” (I FEEL THIS SO HARD WOW). love the boarded up house metaphors and like just everything else i CANT THINK FAST ENOUGH god idk why I committed to writing all my thoughts....

11) OMG SOMEONE WAS TALKING. ahhhhh she loves all these American things but she LOVES A LONDON BOY. “I GUESS ALL THE RUMORS ARE TRUE” power move!!!!! ASLDJALKDFLKJAGL;KADSLASDFLKASDFLKJ AS SOMEONE WHO LIVED IN AND FELL IN LOVE WITH THE CITY OF LONDON I’M JUST LOVING THAT THIS IS BASICALLY A LOVE SONG TO LONDON. FORGET THE BOY. ALL THESE LONDON REFERENCES ARE KILLING ME. (did she just name drop stella mccartney???? I HEARD THAT OKAY!?) 

12) DIXIE CHICKS. IT’S A COUNTRY SONG I CAN ALREADY TELL. THE STRUMMING GUITAR. I’M DYING. wait is this about her mom???? ok well i’m crying.........wow so so so so so beautiful and soft and hopeful. 

13) FIDDLEEEEEEEE oh short lived but omg that was exciting for a moment i thought we were gunna get a crazy country song. This is a good transition....the way this song starts soft and slow and doesn’t come in swinging feels appropriate after Soon You’ll Get Better. WOW. “Religion is your lips....the alter is my hips....” SEX. I’m glad this is not a country song. wow my head was in an odd place that will be weird to come back to after knowing what this song actually is about (it’s about sex)

14) YAS YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN. (it’s 7:40 am but we could have had greatnesssss) THIS SONG SERIOUSLY SLAPS. GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH. also true story - for like the first week after it came out I SWEAR I thought there was a lyric at some point that said “you’re freaking me out” and like I still think that one of the lyrics SHOULD be that so like I know I’m not a seven time Grammy award winging singer/song writer but like taylor can we change that? can we? MY ONLY COMPLAINT ABOUT THIS SONG IS THAT IT NEEDS TO BE AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES LONGER. 

15) ahhhhhhh omg shes like learning about holding onto love and not picking fights and growing through difficulty and not blowing up. (I’ve run out of ways to say omg this is amazing and i’m obsessed). but this is like a GREAT ballad. 

16) BACK TO MEEEEEEEE I like it a lot better here phew thank god we were on shuffle before. I wanted the DJ to play this song at my friend’s wedding back in May (OMG NO MORE SPELLING LINE AHHHH) and they like wouldn’t??? so weird. I honestly think this is a self love song but also an amazing romantic love song and I think it belongs in a wedding playlist. 

17) omg so cute...little best friend love. also i love how simple this song is. no big production. we are back to basics and child hood. AHH HORNS. I thought this song was going to be like TIWWCHNT but its just purely wholesome!!! She’s serious - it’s nice to have a friend! I agree! 

18) LAST SONG AND ITS ALMOST FIVE MIN LONG MY BODY IS READY. This is just classic classic taylor swift and an amazing way to end the album. it’s like the conclusion paragraph of an essay on how she’s happy and content and in love with not just her lover but herself. the world used to be harsh, but now it’s just daylight. (another bridge city - just fyi - for those listening at home that’s where you are now) SHE IS SO HAPPY. “Step into the daylight and let it go” OMG SHES TALKING!!!!! WHERE IS THIS FROM??? IS THIS AN INTERVIEW OR IS IT NEW OMG WAIT WASN’T EXPECTING THAT ENDING WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW

OKAY FRIENDS THAT WAS IT I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS AND NOW I NEED TO LISTEN AGAIN AND AGAIN FOREVER AND ALWAYS. THANK YOU @taylorswift (@taylornation ) FOR TRUSTING US WITH SUCH A MAGICAL JOURNEY. 

[musicalmukebox]

Let’s Get (Back) Together | l.h.  (2A)

Ctto of the gifs used!!

AU: Parent Trap Dad!Luke

Summary: A strong love which led to a strong marriage and twin daughters. Yet in the end, it didn’t turn out so well. You strongly refuse to encounter him ever again. But what happens when both of you coincidentally send your twin daughters to the same summer camp in Florida after 10 years? 

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: slight swearing and some shade too  

A/N: This part is divided into 3 because it shows yours, Luke and the twins’ side of life after 10 years. Heads up, the twins’ names are Rebecca and Stella. Anyways, this part is focused on Luke 10 years later. Enjoy!

I don’t own Parent Trap and its ideas. It’s only used as inspiration.

1 / 2A / 2B / 2C / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15

Feedback/Questions/Others? Here.

-

Now, it’s the year 2034.

It’s around 6 pm in Sydney. Luke stood by in the arrival area of the airport, wiping some sweat on his forehead when he was bombarded by some paparazzi on his way inside earlier. As he recovered, he feels a vibrating buzz on one of the pockets of his jeans. Bringing out his phone, it was a text.

“Just arrived, dad! Give me around 5-10 minutes, just waiting for my luggage.” He reads. It was from *Rebecca*.

Jokes on him, it’s actually Stella. Originally, it’s Rebecca with Luke then Stella with you. Nope, they switched. But hey, let’s just stick to *Rebecca*.

This trip to Florida was the first time Rebecca travels abroad by herself, and boy he missed her, even it’s been a month and a half.

His little girl alone and gone? Shit.

He was hesitant at first when she asked you about this camp, adding how Scarlett Irwin, Ashton’s oldest daughter, had fun there 2 years ago. Yet, why not? It’s a small start with teaching her some independence, especially since he himself traveled without any family when he was in his late teenage years, not even counting the boys.

But calling each other wasn’t an easy thing, trying to find the middle ground always. They talked for the first two weeks, which then abruptly stopped on the last half of her stay in camp. He couldn’t blame her, especially since camp is physically tiring. Not only that, he grew very busy too with working on new music. Even up to this time, the band is still making music.

But the next album would be the last since he wants to focus on his family, on Rebecca. The boys felt the same, especially since they have families of their own. If that was the case, then he would gladly be satisfied with working as a music producer and lyric composer for other artists and bands. Just as long as music is involved, everything is well.

“Dad!” Luke’s attention shifted. He immediately looks up to see a short, blonde girl with her favorite black ripped jeans and suitcase. His stressed expression turned happy.

“Come here, you little poppet!” He exclaims, kneeling down to her level and spread his arms wide open. Rebecca runs to him despite her luggage, and gives him a warm hug, being lifted by him too. How she missed him, all this time.

“I missed you so much, dad.” She mumbles in his ear.

“I miss you too, Becks.” He uses her other nickname before he lets her go from his grasp and then they do their special handshake, air-guitaring in the end. He begins to notice a few changes.

“You cut your hair! I thought you loved your black dyed ends?” He starts.

“Well, Florida was just as warm as Sydney, dad! I couldn’t help it.” She states, tugging a piece on the back of her ear.

“You got really tan and a bit sunburnt too, huh?” Luke observes.

“Yeah, but it was worth it. Camp was really fun.” She says as she reminisces what she calls the best summer of her life so far. Suddenly, she felt some tears going down her cheek.

“Oh no poppet, what’s wrong? Did someone break your heart already?” Luke worries, wiping away some tears.

“It’s nothing. I just really missed you, and time felt so long when you’re in a different country.” She answers, sniffing a bit.

“Hmm I see, poppet. But don’t you worry, you’re back with me now, okay? I got you always.” He reassures before getting a hold of her wheeled suitcase.

“How about you talk more about what happened in camp on the way home, yeh?”

“Sure thing, dad.” *Rebecca* bubbly answers, finally glad to use this word after so long.

-

“Here’s one thing I want to point out, dad. I love you and all, but it’s weird when some camp counselors knew you from way before I was born and talked about how good-looking you were and still are and wanted to marry you. They even wanted you to make a sudden appearance!” *Rebecca* cringes, getting a slight shiver in her bones. Luke laughs at her emotions as his eyes maintained at the road.

“Well, I’m flattered. So far as I’m concerned, you’re the only girl I have in my life right now.” He professes.

“Welp, that’s the second time I’ve cringed on this trip home.” She jokes.

“So what else happened? Did you do anything mischievous or rad?” Luke tried to act cool like he says he was, but he did try though.

“Cringing for the third time, oh no.” *Rebecca* facepalms.

“Now come on, tell me more.” Rebecca ponders on other funny stuff that happened, despite most of the time, it was spent arguing and competing with Stella before they maturely put aside their difference. All of a sudden, this one really crazy experience hit her mind: when she lost that game of poker. She changed the perspective into the real Rebecca’s, of course.

“Well one time, after dinner and before curfew, the girls and I played poker and boy, I got a lot of candy and American knick knacks afterwards. Also, this one girl challenged me to a best of 3 rounds and I won! To top it off, I made her do a forfeit!” *Rebecca* excitedly shares as Luke drives.

“Oh no, what did you make her do?” Luke asks, smirking at his daughter’s antics. Rebecca is a very cheeky, mischievous girl, always having tricks above her sleeve and tactics to pursue them. Just like her dad.

“I made her jump in the cold lake, commando. The other girls and I stole her clothes too, leaving only her shoes.” She reveals, followed by a hit of laughter from her.

“You evil little girl. But very smart must I say for an 11 year old to have nudity involved.” Luke commends. As a father, he is very open. If she has questions, he makes sure to answer them as truthfully as possible. Thank the heavens she hasn’t asked the where-do-babies-come-from question ever.

He also doesn’t want to be a harsh and strict one, which could lead to Rebecca lying to him a lot in the near future, yet he doesn’t spoil her too much and corrects her when she is wrong or does wrong things. He wants her to trust him and vice versa.

“Well thank you, 37 year old dad.” *Rebecca* gives a funny comeback.

“Don’t push it, poppet.” Luke chuckled. From his peripheral vision, he noticed *Rebecca* looking the sunset.

“Missed seeing that?”

“Yup. Nothing beats it.” *Rebecca* says as her eyes gleam at how beautiful it was. It was nothing compared to Los Angeles. She was gazing at it when they reached a stoplight, wherein it was a chance for Luke to plug his phone to the aux cord of his car and then presses shuffle on his music.

“I don't mind, letting you down easy but just give it time.” He sings along. It removed *Rebecca* from her daze as she knew this song too, so she sang along with him.

“If it don't hurt now, but just wait, just wait a while, you're not the big fish in the pond no more.” She sings back. When the chorus played, they were jamming hard, not giving a damn with what the other people from the outside and other cars would think.

“I definitely missed singing songs in the car with you, poppet.” Luke confirms, holding *Rebecca’s* hand. Before they knew, Luke saw a familiar white house at the end of Braxton Lane.

“We’re home.” Luke says as he drives through the garage, parking it there. As they got out of the car, *Rebecca* admired how lovely the house was. White and huge, just as the real Rebecca described to her.

“Felicia, we’re home!” He shouts from outside. Felicia is the nanny of the family since the beginning and always helps out in any way she can. He opens the trunk of the car, and yanks out *Rebecca’s* luggage. She just kept looking around while he did such.

“You really missed this huh?” She nods. They both walk the pathway to the front door, and as Luke opened the door, it was dark as they got inside. But when they closed the door, the lights suddenly turned on, seeing a lot of ‘new’ faces from *Rebecca’s* eyes.

“Welcome home, Rebecca!” They burst out. This whole time, Luke planned this surprise a few days before. He wanted it to be perfect. *Rebecca* was overwhelmed with the surprise, yet enlightened to see the close loved ones of her dad. She felt welcome.

“Oh you’ve changed quite a bit, little Becks.” An elderly woman walks up first to *Rebecca* before embracing her. *Rebecca* quickly analyzes her face, trying to recall who she is from the family tree the real Rebecca taught her.

“Aww, Granny Liz! How I’ve missed you!” She remembered. As they let go, a teenage boy walks towards Rebecca.

“Got a bit tan over there in Florida, Becca?” He compliments. *Rebecca* analyzes again, Then it hit her.

“More than here, Max.” Max is her oldest cousin on Luke’s side. He’s 17 and specifically, Jack and Celeste Hemmings’ only child.  

“Oh no, this diva is back.” Joining in the conversation is Alex Clifford, Michael’s 12 year old and oldest son. The real Rebecca mentioned to her that he’s her ultimate best friend since they knew each other for so long. But little did the real Rebecca knew is that *Rebecca* finds him really cute.

“What’s it to you, loser?” She banters along with a sassy tone.

“Wow, it’s not even an hour yet and you guys are all sassy already.” The last person to join the conversation was a middle-aged redhead with her arms crossed.

“Oh Felicia, we’re really like this. You tolerated us for it.” The “Felicia” Alex referred to is the nanny the real Rebecca grew up with.

“Hmm. Well if you excuse me, Alex, let me give some love to my poppet while you and the other kids go ahead and play games or whatever your generation does nowadays.”

“Alright. Bye, Felicia. Catch up later, Becks.” Alex leaves the scene, probably going to talk guy stuff with Max.

“So how are you, poppet?” Felicia begins.

“Great, a bit tired from the trip, but still great.”

“That’s nice to here. Anyways, I prepared your favorite meals, like 5-cheese macaroni and cheese, roasted chicken, brownies. Go and get something to munch on, afterwards you better tell me stories about camp.” *Rebecca* nods as she grabs a plate and serving the good food on her plate.

Meanwhile and much later, also to Luke’s dismay, his parents had to leave ahead because they have an early flight to London the following day. Luke was then chatting with the guys with their wives by the patio while the other teenage and adolescent children were playing Frisbee and other games by the backyard.

“Well mates and gals, the night is pretty young. Let’s drink to that!” Ashton brings his beer up, urging everyone to bring their drinks up. They clinked them together, which was followed by a set of “woo’s”.

“It’s been a little while since we’ve had something like this, right?” Luke asks as he continues to indulge his beer.

“Yeah. I feel like we’re in our twenties again. Those were some fucking good years, well before the kids.” Calum reminisced as he lit up his second cigarette of the night.

“We’re lacking weed though.” Michael says with realization, getting chuckles from everyone.

“I have to say, Rebecca’s changed quite a lot, yeh?” Celeste acknowledged.

“Yeah! Her hair is short, which is rare.” Crystal points out. Yes, they got married, which is pretty cute. They have three kids, Alex, Beatrix and a younger boy named Nathan, or Nate.

“She might’ve grown an inch or two since the last time I saw her.” Eleanor, Calum’s wife, adds. They met when Eleanor was one of the tour photographers for the band, wherein she was always on Calum’s side of the stage taking photos. He gradually grew a liking for her, starting with having lunches together and photoshoots pretty much anywhere. Then, then rest is history. Marriage and an only son named Nicholas, or Nick.

“She’s grown a bit shyer and quiet too. I don’t know, but I’m not used to her not like this laid back, and she would always arrive at a party like this with a loud hello.” Bryana addresses. She and Ashton sorted things out and tried again. Now, they’ve been married for more than 10 years, also with 3 kids, Scarlett and two boys named Oliver and Topher.

“Give her a break, love. The poor girl just got off a really long flight.” Ashton intervenes.

“Hold on, is Sierra still coming over, mate?” Jack changes topic, about Sierra. Deaton to be specific, also known as the singer Essy. She’s also a close friend of the band. Even a friend of yours too before.

“Sadly, she couldn’t. Working in the studio still for that next album.” Luke answers. Oh no, this topic.

“Oh yeah. So when are you gonna tell Rebecca about you and Sierra? She onlys knows you two as good friends.” Crystal brings it up a lot further.

“Shit, I don’t know. Soon perhaps?” He replies, really unsure.

“Well, you gotta do it fast. You’re getting married again in a month, God damnit!” Michael reminds, putting his head on top of Crystal’s shoulder. Luke’s stress levels rose. He didn’t know to approach this situation, especially since Rebecca didn’t have an actual motherly influence after the divorce.

Hmm, unless you count Felicia.

“Again, lol.” Michael points out that word jokingly, which gave an immediate shock everyone in the room.

Picture a lot of Kermit the frogs drinking tea. It was like that, except with alcohol and cigarettes. Shady indeed. If there was the “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” from Harry Potter, then this was the Topic-Which-Should-Never-Be-Brought-Up.

Much to their luck, Luke didn’t rage or anything. He was unresponsive and just continues to finish his second beer of the night. But he felt a pang of pain. Regret even, but he didn’t want to set the evening with bad vibes.

“Drunk already, Clifford? It’s only 9 pm.” Calum breaks the silence, getting a chuckle from Eleanor.

“Not really, but I’m not as strong as I used to be, Hood.” Michael mumbles, and right before he takes another sip, Crystal grabs his beer from him.

“And I believe you’ve drank too much for tonight. You’re driving, or better yet, I will.” She says politely out of safety. Michael grins like a Cheshire cat, grabbing back his beer.

Despite those past topics, the group continued on talking, never running out of things to say or share. Not to mention indulging more alcohol, except for Crystal, Ashton, Eleanor and Jack. They’re the designated drivers.

Ashton shared that he tried to answer the where-do-babies-come-from question from Nate one day, while Luke shared what *Rebecca* told him earlier in the car about the camp counselors, Jack told about his trip to Sweden with his family, and lastly, the most amazing one which is from Calum and Eleanor.

“We’re expecting.” Eleanor announces, receiving hugs and congratulations from everyone. Time passed so quickly, and eventually, midnight hits. The boys and girls still had work in the morning.

Good luck to them, especially Michael. As they all left, Luke crashed instantly on the couch, his tipsy eyes about to close after drinking a lot of beer.

“Someone looks dead tired.” It was *Rebecca*, commenting on his exhausted physique and sits beside him.

“Imagine working in the studio, driving for 30 minutes to the airport to fetch you, then organizing and entertaining this little party for you.” He responds, his arms reaching out to her for a cuddle. Hesitant at first, but eh, she wanted to treasure everything she missed out on with him. Kissing the top of her forehead, Luke speaks up again.

“Tomorrow, we are spending the whole day together. Anything you want to do, poppet, let’s go for it.”

“Well, that whole day starts now, dad. Let’s start with sleeping.” She suggests as he nods. Lazily, they stood up.

“Good night poppet. Don’t let jetlag win you over.”

“Noted. Good night, dad.” As Luke was the first to walk away, Rebecca speaks up.

“Good luck with your future hangover.” She adds, jokingly.

Oh this girl, he thought. Today is bound to be good.

[moonraccoon-exe]

For @gladnisweek , Day 2

Prompt: “OMG, so drunk…”

Warnings: Mentions of attempt of the attempt itself of sexual assault.

You can also find this on AO3 here.

(Tried and failed to come up with a title, so just have the story, dammit.)

 Usually, by that time of the night Gladiolus would already be asleep.

Even more that day, he had so many more reasons to put himself in bed and ignore the rest of the world until the following morning. Despite what others could think of him, he did not enjoy staying up until too late. He was a grown man, mature enough to difference when it was fine to party and stay up late, and when he needed to follow his schedules as they were set, even the non-official and personal ones. He had to wake up as early as usual for his morning run before work and diverse lessons at the Citadel, that night was not to party or stay up late even if he wanted. Which he did not; that day he had had a particularly rough and extra heavy training with the Marshal and finished wrecking himself training the prince, who, for his bad luck for once, had been particularly energetic. And that meeting that lasted an hour past the work shift, plus all the after duties…

Gladio was wrecked and, gods, there was nothing he wanted more than his bed as soon as he left the Citadel. It was his father’s turn to keep the night watch nearby the king’s chambers, so he had to take the oh so boring duty of driving back home as tired as he was. Sincerely, all that he had wanted was to go straight to his bed. He did stop to say hello to Iris and help her a bit with her homework. As exhausted, he still thought it rude to deny dinner when the house butler had already prepared it. Even just the action of chewing was tiring and Gladio only wanted a comfy mattress with warm and cozy blankets and his bunch of pillows and not see anyone else until the next morning, which he planned to do when he reached his room and collapsed in bed.

He had gotten a few hours of sleep…that were interrupted by his phone.

He had set it on silence because he did not want anybody to interrupt his sleep, but the thing could still buzz. It kept buzzing and buzzing, at first entirely ignored and the sound drowned under Gladio’s own snoring, but it buzzed for so long it shut the man up, and eventually woke him up.

The young Shield groaned out of complete exasperation, long and low, and turned to see the hour in the digital clock. One in the morning. Absolutely fucking fantastic.

He groaned louder, gripping at his own hair. What kind of stupid, fucking asshole was phoning him at this hour precisely that night!?

Acknowledging it could be related to his duties in some way, Gladio felt forced to not ignore the damn phone. Frowning and snorting like an angered beast, Gladio reached for his phone, only able to open one eye while the other was strongly shut, and he looked at the screen.

Fifteen missed calls, and five messages.

All from Ignis.

Gladio softened out of seeing it was a close friend and not some random idiot Glaive or attendant. But, more than anything, the anger was entirely replaced with concern; it was not new to see Ignis was awake at such an hour (did the man ever sleep at all?), but…the quantity of missed calls and messages. From Ignis. Ignis “I don’t want to be a bother to anyone” Scientia, spamming him. It was something rather new. Still, he assumed that had it been something particularly dangerous or if Ignis was majorly injured, he would have activated his Alert signal instead of phoning him.

Ignis messaging and looking for him at one in the morning. Curious and a bit worried, Gladio opened the messages.

11:30 pm: Gladiolus? Apologies, are you awake?

12:08 am: I don’t mean to sound needy, but if you could pick up the phone…

12:39 am: Gladio?

12:45 am: I believe you must be asleep by now, I had hoped you had taken a bit before going to bed. If you are awake and just ignoring for whatever reason, please do pick up the phone. It’s important. 

1:02 am: I don’t know who else I could contact. I don’t mean to be a bother. Please tell me you’re awake.

Gladio squinted the eyes and sat up, a bit more worried by now. It did not sound particularly urgent, but this was coming from Ignis. Considering who had written this, it did feel rather worrying.

‘Hey, Iggy. ‘m sorry for taking so long. Are you okay?’

It did not take even a minute. Which Gladio was not sure if was more or less worrying.

- Until now, yes. Thank Shiva you answered.

- Hey, Igs, it’s fine. What’s the matter?

- Gladio, I am so drunk.  

…well, that…that was very new. Not that Ignis never got drunk, he had his moments every now and then when he was among people he trusted intimately, Gladio himself included. Ignis had also gotten drunk when Gladio was not present, that was not new. But for Ignis to start phoning and messaging him just for that, it was a bit odd. He never drank if there was not a designed driver, nor alone, so he should have no reasons to phone him.

- lol - So whatcha want me to do?

- Gladio, it was not the plan. - It’s not the normal kind of drunk. - I believe somebody adulterated my drink.

Gladio needed no other message.

He basically propelled himself out of his bed, leaving his safe haven of pillows and blankets, and searched in the dark for his shoes, clumsily but successfully putting them on. He grabbed his green jacket and put it on as he walked out of his room and down the hallway, straight to the stairs. By the time he reached the living room area he heard noises from upstairs, and Jared appeared there, holding the railing and staring at Gladio with sleepy and confused, altered eyes. He had asked if there was anything he needed, but Gladio gently denied him and told him he would go pick up a friend, and asked the butler to go back to bed. A bit startled, Jared obeyed and only looked above his shoulder to watch the young Amicitia exit and lock the door behind himself.

While Gladio reached and started the car, he messaged Ignis again.

Okay, can you tell me where you are or is it better if you send me your location?  

Ignis did not type anything. He sent the location map straight away. Gladio stared at it with a frown; what the hell was Ignis doing at a local bar? They had work the following day, unless Ignis had been given a free day or something. And who was he with? Had he gone alone?

Gladio decided to leave the questions for another moment, set the phone’s map as he had no idea how to get there, and typed out a quick message while getting on the road.

- You stay where you are, Ig. Don’t you dare move from that spot. 

-I don’t mean to be a bother, Gladio. If you could come or send anyone, I believe that would be wise.

-Already on my way.

-Be careful.

Such an Ignis thing to do, even when drunk, to wish Gladiolus a safe drive while Ignis himself was in greater risk. Gladio did not even reply, and only cursed under his breath while he kept driving trying to go as fast as possible without speeding past the limits. The least he wanted was having to stop for a chat with cops when his best friend and crush was drunk, drugged against his will, and who knows with who-the-fuck doing or trying who-knows-fucking-what to or against him. What had led Ignis to that situation? The man was the smartest creature Gladiolus had ever known and the smartest in possibly centuries, it was not much his style to end up in this kind of situation.

It was a fifteen-minute drive from his home, not as close as Gladio may have wished and it felt like an eternity. His phone had not buzzed since that last message, but he had sincerely hoped Ignis would not be the selfless creature he was that worried on not distracting Gladio at the wheel and could just send a fucking message to know he was at least in a position where he could do that. Gladio parked a bit too quickly and in one movement, which left the car as an inconvenient obstacle for others, but it was not like there were many cars at that hour outside or like he would take long. He did not plan to.

The guard had tried to stop him, had glanced at him from head to toe maybe examining Gladio’s pajama clothing, but Gladio insisted, had brain enough to stop before he started a fight, and then explained ‘a friend was waiting for him inside’, which made the guard move aside and let him in. That, or his looks. Maybe earning that scar was working for some purpose, he could scare others and open his path through when needed.

He entered and stopped at the entrance to get a look of all the place without letting anyone exit without him noticing. So many ladies and gentlemen, but where was he?

Gladio thought maybe searching in the bathroom. He thought that maybe Ignis had escaped from his attacker, whether he knew them or not, by going into the bathroom to message and phone Gladio. The gods damn, the Shield kept cursing under his breath, feeling guilt eating him out; if only he had not been a lazy scumbag that preferred to sleep, if only he had answered at the first call…

He continued glancing around in his way to the bathroom but did not spot any familiar face. Putting all his hopes that Ignis was in the bathroom and that he had not been forced outside, Gladio took in a subtle but deep breath and opened the door.

His heart almost dropped when the pair of blazing green eyes found him.

“Gladio!” Ignis, down on a knee nearby a corner, had looked up when the door opened and he was looking at Gladio with what the Shield could swear was…fear. Ignis, scared. That was new, too. And absolutely heartbreaking. The man stood up and hurried towards Gladio, who hurried towards him as well but could not stop staring, and got to analyze Ignis in only a few seconds; his hair looked a bit messed, and he was entirely pale, so pale it was a bit sickening. His eyes looked rounded by black and a hint of red, as if he had bawled his eyes out except it was not the case. They reached each other and the adviser threw his arms around him, holding tight onto him like longtime friends that meet after years. Gladio hugged him back firmly, wrapping his arms around that slender but strong waist and pressing his palms flat on his back. He felt one of Ignis’ hands on his head and the other around his shoulders. He was trembling lightly. “Thank the Six, I was starting to panic…”

“I am so sorry I took so long to answer the damn phone” Gladio apologized and squeezed his friend a bit tighter. “It’s fine, Iggy, let’s get you out of here” they broke apart and Gladio hurried on reaching a hand up to hold his friend’s chin gently, making him look up at him. “How are you?”

“Astrals” Ignis sighed, “I am so drunk” he stared away and Gladio let him. “I feel terrible, I…made it worse than it was, I…” the man stopped, passing a hand through his hair and looking concerned. “…when I realized that he had put something in my drink, I…tried phoning you, but…it is not your fault, what was I thinking coming here so late and thinking you were awake?” Ignis continued digressing for a moment before he said anything important again. “I was insecure about leaving this place with him; if I was as bad already, the hit of air on my face would worsen it and I…” he shook the head and his hands went to grip at Gladio’s arms. “…I had taken the bathroom as excuse too many times and he insisted we left, so…all that I thought to not leave was…I-I told him I still wanted some drinks and I…” by that point, Ignis lowered the head and looked like he was at the edge of tears. He breathed in a choked sob and closed the eyes. “Gladio, this is my fault, I drank when I was already drunk as excuse to not leave and I kept drinking and now I’m drunk and drugged against my will and I am a terrible person and this is my fault…”

Astrals, Ignis was in a terrible drunken state. When drunk he tended to get pretty dramatic, but this was already more than Gladio was used to witness. The Shield stared at him some moments, feeling more guilt about not coming earlier, and seeing Ignis start to cry in front of him.

“Come now, Iggy, it’s not on you” Gladio comforted him and put his hands on Ignis as well, but the man continued silently crying and whispering things on how this was his own fault. “Who did this to you?”

“…you are going to be mad at me” Ignis murmured after a small pause, hands moving to his own eyes to rub them while he shyly cried. Gladio did not need to insist. “…I-I was given the day free tomorrow, a-and…Cultro asked me to early celebrate my birthday and said ‘Why don’t we have a drink tonight?’ and I…felt…obliged and I did not want to be rude, and I just followed him and I know you’ve told me to get away of him, and I do so- but I was…I-I don’t know…” Ignis sniffled and lowered the head even more. “…he did not seem to have any bad intentions…” 

As soon as he heard the name Gladio’s expression changed. When Ignis finished talking, it all made sense and the young Shield sighed in controlled anger and looked away.

“That son of a bitch….” He murmured, but assumed it was not the time to speak about Ignis’ stubborn and toxic suitor that the two had been pushing away. For too long by now, Gladio realized. “I’m gonna have a real good conversation with him sometime soon, and now you’re not going to stop me.”

“I won’t” Ignis sniffled again, still refusing to look up at him. “I thought he was only stubborn. I mean, he’s a Glaive, I did not think he would dare…”

Betray Ignis’ trust, take him to a bar, adulterate his drink with the Lucii know what, drag him out of the bar somewhere else, take advantage of his barely conscious state and then…

The mere thought gave Gladio shivers. He shook the head to get rid of it, but he still wondered how sick somebody had to be to do that sort of thing. How sick somebody had to be to care only on Ignis’ body and claim it as a prize even when his mind was lost and switched off. How sick somebody had to be that he, after realizing Ignis was no fragile princess and could beat the heck out of him in self-defense, decided to best knock him off his senses to have a huge and unfair advantage. Gladio decided he would make Cultro understand what the fucking meaning of ‘No’ was. He had harassed Ignis enough, this was far beyond the limits of what Gladio would tolerate.

“That’s fine, Iggy” Gladio murmured to him, softly. “It’s not your fault. You trusted and were betrayed.”

Ignis only nodded very weakly after a pause, head still lowered. Gladio felt the hundredth pinch of guilt that night and, moved, he reached close to hug Ignis again. The younger man was a bit startled but did not return the hug nor was he given time before Gladio broke apart again and wrapped an arm around the adviser’s shoulders, whispering a ‘Let’s go’ before he started guiding Ignis towards the door. Ignis was not one to lose balance while walking when drunk, so the fact that the man was going very slow and stumbling only did but worry him; not only was Ignis terribly drunk, he was also drugged. He was still pale and sweated coldly. Thank the Astrals he had not fallen unconscious or something as bad.

Gladio helped him out of the bathroom, taking Ignis’ pace, and looked around. He had not seen the Glaive when he entered, and there was no sign of him anywhere this second time. The Shield assumed the most simple and usual; as soon as Cultro saw him nearby, he fled away like a pathetic thing. Gladio internally growled and remembered to remember that Cultro had also abandoned Ignis when in this terrible state just to save his own ass.

Eventually, Gladio managed to take Ignis out of the bar. When the air hit him the adviser hesitated and stumbled, so Gladio’s first reaction was to pick him up in arms. With how poisonous the Glaive was and how much hatred he felt towards Gladio, he would not be surprised if the man appeared out of the blue and attacked him, knowing Gladio would not attack or defend himself if that put Ignis to risk in some way and taking advantage of that fact. Gladio kept Ignis half-hugged and leaned down to scoop him up from the floor. All that the adviser did was to offer a little groan of surprise and hid the face in the crook of Gladio’s neck, as if embarrassed. The Shield hurried to his dad’s car and unlocked it, putting Ignis down only for a moment to open the backdoors for him, before helping him inside and closing the door after him.

When Gladio started the engine, he looked back at Ignis and told him he was safe now and that he should get some rest. The adviser, still looking rather terrified (though it was possibly mostly out of feeling terrible rather than scared at all), had gently denied him, and proceeded to go on a rant of how this was his fault, how inappropriate it would be to lie down in the car, about how horrible he was by ‘touching the magnificent Lord Clarus’ car with my drunken, disgusting ass’ and other matters while Gladio started the engine and drove away of the bar. He slowed down and stopped only for a moment to reach for Ignis, put a hand to his mouth, make a gesture asking for silence and gently pushed him down on the seats. Inevitably, Ignis fell asleep in less than a minute after Gladio started driving again. From time to time he glanced at the rearview mirror to stare at Ignis, see if he was less pale or had stopped sweating coldly, or just to see him. There was something incredibly sweet and reassuring about seeing him there, terribly drunk and asleep in the backseats. It was like a reminder that his friend and crush was safe and sound, peacefully asleep, and not in the Six know where with the Astrals know who.

Gladio did not drive him to Ignis’ place or mister Scientia’s. Who knew if the man was in his house (as he used to spend most at the Citadel, as first attendant to the king), and he did not dare nor want to leave Ignis alone in such a state. So, as simple, he drove to his own house with no hesitation. The ride was quiet in many ways; despite the nocturnal life of Insomnia, there were almost no other cars driving around, almost no people in the streets, and Ignis was peacefully asleep. After the fifteen-minute drive, Gladio parked and opened the backdoor to pick Ignis outside, but he found the man had curled nearby the other door. Gladio rounded the car and opened the other door, just to find Ignis had moved to curl nearby the first.

Turned out that Ignis was not asleep; he had woken up and refused to get out of the car.

“I am a piece of unworthy garbage with no value” Ignis was explaining while Gladio tried to talk him into coming out of the car. “What sort of strategist am I? I cannot look at you to the eyes. Leave me alone.”

Despite the terrible and sad things Ignis was saying, Gladio could not help a little smile and chuckle. A drunken, extra dramatic Ignis was rare, sad, and a bit amusing to see. He behaved like a stubborn child, a sad man amplifying his problem to dramatic levels, and a bit like an adorable if a bit scared puppy. Gladio ended up trying to crawl into the backseats to drag Ignis outside, just to be received by yelped-out dramatic ‘No’s and some attempts of kicks to the face, so he changed strategy and tried opening the door Ignis was closest to, but the man kept moving from one to the other while Gladio ran around the car trying to be faster than him. In the end, and as Ignis’ mind was not clear enough to function as brilliantly as it normally did, Gladio ended up tricking him and being able to drag him out of the car. When the fight was clearly lost, Ignis stopped complaining and dropped his dead weight on Gladio for the Shield to carry him piggyback into the house.

They were received by Jared, but Gladio again asked him to get some sleep and that he would get in charge of things. The man was not as young as he used to be and Gladio did not want to bother him like a spoiled brat. Jared still offered to arrange the guest’s room while Gladio prepared some tea for his friend, which the young Shield accepted.

Gladio tried to have Ignis sit on the sofa and not move; Ignis tended to get as anxious as dramatic when drunk, so catching him was a good sport whenever the adviser had too many cups. He insisted on walking in circles, going places, all as he talked things usually about blaming himself for something. The Shield, exhausted but not calm until Ignis was attended, prepared him a good and healthy tea to help clean his stomach, chased Ignis when the man tried leaving the house, and put him back on the sofa. He stayed awake and sat nearby while Ignis quietly sipped from the tea, slow and making long pauses to randomly sob once as if he had been furiously crying all the time, or to stare at the tea like it was a shiny pebble that he could not understand.

It was an hour before Ignis finished his cup. Before really bringing him to the guest’s room, Gladio guided and helped Ignis into the bathroom when the man threw up. Gladio took his glasses from him so he would not accidentally drop them and kept the palm soft and flat on Ignis’ back, drawing slow and gentle circles on it while the adviser dry heaved, threw up, or just breathed heavily while holding to the toilet. That was the first time it happened to him; the drama and anxiety were normal to different levels, but Ignis had never before thrown up out of drinking.

…which, needless to say, triggered him into another terrible drama. Ignis’ dramas were dramatic on their own because he either cried or just laid somewhere on the floor, stubborn and refusing to get up, and just murmuring awful things about himself.

Gladio spent yet another half-an-hour sat in the bathroom with Ignis thrown on his side in a corner calling himself all sort of disgusting names in mumbles, before the Shield could just not allow this to continue, laughed softly both sad and amused, and scooped Ignis up from the floor.

The adviser comically (to Gladio, at least) tried to smack him, but started crying as soon as his hand touched Gladio’s shoulder, and he dropped his dead weight on him again. Gladio did laugh this time and only murmured a low ‘Oh, Iggy’, before bringing him to the kitchen. He offered Ignis water to clean his mouth and a few mint candies for the breath, which the adviser accepted. It was after gods-know-how-long that Ignis was done over cleaning his mouth and eating the candies that he accepted the offer of a bed. Even though the adviser was showing less troubles with walking, Gladio preferred to not take any risks and asked Ignis if it was fine if he carried him once more. Ignis offered no complaints. Indeed, he did not even answer. He just put the arms around Gladio’s neck and dropped himself as if saying ‘Whatever, not like I care anymore’.

With yet another low laugh, Gladio picked him as he could (what with how much Ignis was enjoying on dropping dead weight on him) and made his way upstairs and through the hallways. Thankfully, Iris had not opened her door so she must have been dead asleep. Gladio took Ignis to the guest room, clean and looking comfy. The Shield did not bother on turning on the lights to not put Ignis down; he went straight to the bed and sat Ignis there. The adviser insisted on not making eye contact with him, looking terribly ashamed of himself. So terrible and so much he refused to “deserve any of your kindness” that Gladio himself had to undress him to his underwear and dress him again in some comfy and warm pajamas. Ignis only either dropped a tear or two, or mumbled about how Gladio “should drop him in the trashcan” and about how much of a “disgusting visitor” he was in the “Amicitia palace”. The last word made Gladio laugh while he was taking Ignis’ socks off and putting warm and clean ones on instead. Not like Ignis’ were dirtied, Gladio only wanted him to feel extra cozy.

Ignis either did not notice or did not care nor did it find startling that Gladio fully changed him. Once Gladio was done, he pulled down the sheets except on the spot Ignis was sat on, and waited for the adviser to lie down. Which did not happen, of course.

“Iggy” Gladio laughed. “Just lie there, it’s very late. You have to sleep.”

“I am unworthy, Gladio” Ignis said in a thread of a voice, still refusing to make eye contact and looking terribly sad. “I have shown to own close to no value. Why should I sleep?”

“Iggy, that doesn’t make sense” Gladio laughed softly and lowly, sitting down at Ignis’ side. “You have value. Now lie there and sleep.”

“I don’t” Ignis closed the eyes and lowered the head. “I have been raised with only two sole purposes in life. Two. Twenty…almost twenty-one years being raised to turn into the prince’s wise adviser and the most sharp-eyed strategist of Eos” Ignis opened the eyes again and looked down at himself as if analyzing his body. “And this is how it’s worked. Tricked into a bar by a toxic suitor, drugged without noticing, and having to phone my...” he gestured at Gladio with his hands and scanned him with the eyes as if not finding the words to describe him, and getting upset because of that “..knight in shining armor so he can rescue me and carry me in arms because all that I could do when I saw the dragon was cry.”

Gladio raised the eyebrows at the ‘my knight’ part, and laughed. He felt his face become red and he stared away, still laughing, but Ignis was still serious and sad.

“I am supposed to see people’s intentions from the very first sight I have of them. I’ve been followed by him for about a year now and…this was so obvious, yet I did not see it” Ignis lamented, teeth clenching as if angered. “And, okay, we can let that go and excuse it behind how I blindly trusted an ally. Which makes me a pathetic excuse of a strategist and adviser anyway, because you do not blindly trust anyone, not even yourself. But let’s suppose in some level of the universe it’s acceptable” Gladio smiled, amused and just stared warmly at Ignis as he continued. “But then I did not notice when he put…the…whatever he put in my drink. I did not see it. It happened under my nose, it had to happen while I was looking, I basically had my eye at an inch from the glass, Gladio” Ignis dropped the hands and stared up with teary eyes like this was a tragedy. “And I did not see it. I did not see it, Gladio, do you know what that means?”

Gladio, still smiling, raised an eyebrow at him and shook the head softly.

“That means that I am the worst, most awful, most terrible, less sharp-eyed strategist that has ever breathed in this or any other universe” Ignis put his hands to his face and dropped the head again, sobbing but Gladio was not sure if he really was crying or if this was his ‘drunk-drama-crying’. “I could not see somebody altering my drink right in front of my eyes, how do you expect me to- I cannot- I have the poorest- no, the entire opposite to sharp-eye, I have a…blunt eye.”

Gladio laughed quietly again. He was sure that was not the concept Ignis was looking for, but he let him be. Ignis sighed and shook the head.

“I have no value anymore, Gladio” he lamented. “I don’t deserve such a thing like sleep.”

“Ignis, control yourself” Gladio knew he should be concerned, but he could not help a little laugh. The adviser kept the head down, silent and completely down in the dumps. The Shield smiled like a mother would do to her son after he just lost an important competition. His voice. “Hey. Iggy. Come on, look at me” but the adviser refused to do so, quietly. Whenever Gladio tried to grab him, Ignis weakly got rid of his grasp and kept the head down. “Come now, Iggy.”

“I do not deserve to be called the prince’s adviser, or royal strategist” Ignis murmured, a hand moving up so he cleaned his own nose. “I don’t deserve this treatment. I don’t deserve to be in a bed in the Amicitia palace. This holds…too much honor, and I am a poor excuse of a strategist…” he sighed. “…and I’m drunk.”

Gladio smiled a bit amused that drunken-Ignis still thought this was a palace, but he made no comment about that.

“Hey, Iggy, don’t say that stuff” he said softly, moving so he was sitting closer to his friend. “You are a wonderful strategist, and the best adviser Noctis could have ever wished for” he saw the strategist move the eyes in his direction for a moment. “Even the greatest and the smartest make a mistake from time to time. And what do you make out of mistakes?”

“…I quit my job?”

“You learn, you sack of chips!” Gladio said with a tiny warm laugh. He brought his legs up to the bed so he was sitting on it leg-crossed like Ignis, in front of him. “This doesn’t take any value from you; on the opposite, learning from it will give you even more” by that point Gladio was almost murmuring. He waited a moment and then saw Ignis’ eyes moving up, head staying down, to make eye contact. He smiled at the poor drunken adviser. “Don’t be so dramatic, Iggy. It’s okay. You’re wonderful and you know it.”

There was a long pause after that. Ignis lowered the eyes again, and after another pause he nodded. He moved a hand up again to rub at one of his eyes as if to stop it from crying before he even started.

“…you are so good to me, Gladiolus” Ignis murmured. “…too good. Even if I’m not too bad, I don’t know if I deserve this treatment from you” Gladio’s smile grew smaller and his eyebrows furrowed again; he thought he had already controlled this, but Ignis found a new thing to be sad about. The Shield listened to him in silence. “You woke up in the middle of the night just to answer my call, do what this weakling could not, go all the way across the entire city, took me out of there and you let me sleep in your car, and then you gave me tea and a warm blanket, and then you took my glasses so I wouldn’t drop them when I…” he paused to breathe shakily. “And then you gave me an entire room with my own bed, and I’m just…so touched, Gladio, you just saved my ass. Probably very literally” by that point Ignis cleaned his other eye. The comment had been serious, but Ignis, while not taking it as joke, did not seem to see the real weight of it. “You did not have enough with only saving me out of there, you…you’re doing all this for me, you’re pampering me, this is not necessary, I-I could- I only needed to be taken out, not all this wonderful, marvelous pampering, I should-”

While Ignis started speaking about how he should leave, Gladio hurried a series of quick ‘No’s, and softly reached close to pull Ignis back on the bed and not let him stand up. The young Shield grinned a little amused again, but the gaze remained warm. While he was saying it was fine, Ignis teared up again.

“…see, you’re even taking time to convince this…unworthy sack of chips” Gladio could not help a little laugh at that, “to stay because you still want to give me more of this treatment. It’s like…I don’t know, midnight and you’re awake just to…” Ignis stopped there and looked up at Gladio with big eyes at the time he dramatically gasped and put both hands to his mouth. Gladio blinked at him, tiredly but still attentive. “…Gladio. Gladio…Astrals…Gladio” the young Shield smiled at the multiple calls of his name, but said nothing. “…Gladio, you…you do have work tomorrow…”

“Iggy, don’t mind that” Gladio said while shaking his head softly. As Ignis opened the mouth to complain, he continued to not let him. “Really. Listen, it’s nothing. If I’m awake it’s because I want to.”

Ignis still took a long while just staring at him with wide eyes and the hands close to his mouth. It seemed like the comment only made him tear up even more.

“I don’t deserve this” Ignis dramatically whispered to him, and after a little laugh Gladio got a bit closer.

“Listen, it’s hilarious and everything, but stop saying that” he murmured to Ignis with a bright smile and warm eyes. He paused and reached to hold both of his friend’s arms before continuing. “You do. You deserve this and more. And I don’t care if you’re a good or bad strategist or adviser, you’re my friend, and I care about you. You’re a precious part of my life, sleep can’t compare to your wellbeing. Staying up late is absolutely nothing if that means you’re safe. Okay?” Gladio raised the eyebrows at him at the question, expecting an answer but Ignis only gave him that brokenhearted and almost surprised look. The Shield caressed his arms and did not break eye contact. “No matter the circumstances or what I’m doing, you need help, you call me. I’ll be there. Okay?” when he waited for an answer and received none, he continued. “You’re a wonderful person with the biggest and kindest heart that I know, you’re funny, you’re empathetic and understanding, and you’re incredibly selfless. You do deserve this, and far much more, if by ‘this’ you mean proper care, a bed, and a friend.”

There was a long pause yet again. Gladio did not let go of Ignis’ arms during the even longer pause. After he did, Ignis’ eyes teared up even more. The adviser closed them and stared away, swallowed and waited a bit more before nodding, at first slow and hesitant, and then a little more confident. Gladio whispered a soft ‘Okay’ and they fell in silence once more, until Ignis looked up at him. He raised a hand and pointed at Gladio, and opened the mouth to say something but finger and jaw just trembled for a couple times before he got to say anything.

“You are the opposite to Cultro, you know” Ignis told him and lowered the finger. “You’re kind. You’ve always been so kind to me, and you know what really means caring about someone” Ignis moved a hand up to dramatically clean his teary eyes once more. “You’ve always been so good to me…” after he cleaned his eyes and dropped the hand, he sniffled and made eye contact with Gladio again. “So good to me…”

Once said that, Ignis started moving. Gladio thought he was readjusting himself to sit differently or to finally lie down, but the adviser moved closer to him, on his knees, and rested his hands on Gladio’s strong shoulders. Ignis gently and slowly started dropping himself on the Shield, and wrapped his arms around Gladio’s neck. He leaned closer, eyes fixed on the Shield’s mouth before closing them. Gladio stared at him eye widened and taken off guard.

And, as soon as his crush since-he-was-sixteen leaned close to kiss him, Gladio put a hand up so that Ignis kissed his palm instead.

The adviser opened the eyes when he did not recognize the texture of lips and pulled apart, staring down at Gladio’s hand. The Shield was smiling warmly with a little hint of sadness, and put the hand down. Ignis stared at it still for long seconds, then back up at Gladio, with a look on his face that almost passed as terror. Ignis unwrapped his arms from Gladio’s neck and his hands returned to the Shield’s shoulders, and he stared at Gladio in silence and fear.

“…you don’t want to kiss me” Ignis murmured, took his hands away with shyness, and stared away. “You don’t- Astrals, I know, I should have-…I didn’t ask you for permission, I-I’m…this is exactly what you saved me from and…” he seemed very troubled and a little anxious. “I-I guess- I had understood- that perhaps you could have developed romantic feelings for me, and I thought- and I assumed a second ago that maybe…and I thought perhaps…” Ignis passed a hand through his already messed hair, sighing. “…you don’t want to kiss me.”

“No, I do” Gladio told him, moving a hand up to hold Ignis’ arm again. The adviser stared at the grip and tried making eye contact, but broke it immediately. The Shield smiled, and felt his face burning. “I’ve…always guessed you had realized by this point, I mean…you have a sharp eye” Ignis move the eyes up and tilted the head as if saying ‘well, I guess’, not catching it was a joke besides a statement. “So if you’re admitting you already knew, I guess it’s stupid to keep it in” Gladio sighed as if in defeat and stared away, blushing harder. “I…do want to kiss you. I like you, that way.”

“But then why didn’t you let me?” Ignis asked him. “I- no, I know. It’s because I didn’t ask permission, isn’t it?”

“It’s not that” Gladio smiled and shook the head. “To get a kiss from Ignis Scientia? Gods, you always have my permission” Ignis gave him a confused look. Gladio smiled warmly at him. “But…listen, you handle your emotions very poorly in this state” Gladio explained and, while expecting a complaint, Ignis only sighed and his chin quivered as if accepting it. “You say and do a lot of things you don’t mean. You amplify your reactions. You’re grateful for the treatment that I’m giving you, but you amplify it to the point you want to thank me with a kiss” Gladio stopped for a moment to see if Ignis was following. “But you don’t mean to. Your drunken persona is forcing you to do this” he paused yet again. Ignis was looking at him with almost naïve eyes, and Gladio lowered the voice to a murmur. “I want that kiss. But if I accept it, I am, in some way, taking advantage of you. Wasn’t this why Cultro got you in this state, so that he could do this?” Gladio gave him a tiny smile. “I ain’t doing that.”

Ignis did but stare at him with the same expression than before. Gladio tried to keep eye contact with him, and waited for anything that Ignis had to say. The adviser’s lower lip quivered and his eyes watered again, and Gladio feared he had touched another string.

“…I-I almost kissed you without your consent” Ignis whispered, “and you’re worrying about mine” after that, the adviser let out a choked tiny sob and started rubbing at his eyes again. “My gods, Gladio…you’re husband material.”

The young Shield opened the eyes wide and raised the eyebrows almost midway to his forehead. Well, this was new. Gladio could not help but to furiously blush and laugh, staring away and shaking the head. Drunken Ignis was either a sad case or a hilarious one. Gladio tried to see the compliment behind that; if Ignis amplified the things he was thinking and feeling while drunk, then Gladio could assume that what he had just said could mean ‘I could or not have a little crush on you too’. The idea made him feel a thousand of flowers blooming inside his stomach, lighting up his spirit, but he tried to not keep expectations up. He wished, though. Wished that drunken Ignis could have exaggerated, but was not lying. He really wanted his feelings to be reciprocate…but it was not the moment to talk that.

“Astrals above…” Ignis whimpered quietly. Gladio looked back up at him and found the adviser pressing his palms to his eyes. “I’m hating myself so much right now, because…” he paused to let go of his face and breathe. “I’ll remember. I’ll remember everything that I’ve done and said tonight, and I can’t stop me” Gladio grinned and shook the head, laughing once more. Ignis did not find the fun in that and only stared at him like this was the worst moment of his life. “When this fades, I’ll remember I- oh my Six, I called you ‘my knight in shining armor’, that’s so pathetic…” Ignis whimpered again and, finally, after what had felt like an eternity that was enjoyable to endure, the man dropped backwards until his head met the pillow, but rolled onto his back to hide his face in it. Gladio heard him whimpering again, like a puppy. “And then I tried to kiss you, and then I called you Husband Material, and I’ll remember, the gods damn me, why can’t I- why do-“ Ignis stopped talking to dramatically sob into his pillow like a kid in tantrum. Gladio continued laughing lowly. “I cannot look at you to the eyes, Gladiolus. I won’t. You can’t make me.”

“Hey, I’m not forcing you” Gladio said with a little laugh and stood up from the bed. When he felt the movement, Ignis gasped and pulled himself up, looking over his shoulder, and then hurried himself up on his knees on the bed when he saw Gladio was standing up to leave. Ignis reached for him and grabbed him by an arm with both hands. Gladio gave him a puzzled look. “Anything else you need, Ig?”

“Why are you leaving me?” Ignis asked him at the edge of tears again. “Do you find me disgusting?”

“Ignis, come on” Gladio laughed, turned around and rested a knee on the bed. “I find you to be adorable and stupidly handsome” the Shield smiled. “I’m just leaving because you need to sleep.”

“Sle-” Ignis interrupted himself by gasping and again putting a hand to his mouth before letting go. “Sleep! Sleeping is cruxial” Gladio laughed and gave a low ‘yes, it is’. “And I’m keeping you from sleep. Oh no. Oh, gods, no. I am horrible. I am a terrible- what are you still doing here, Gladio? You should go to bed, I’ve kept you awake for so long, it must be like midnight” Ignis sounded so sincerely panicked that Gladio sat down on the bed again and held his arms, not helping a smile out of Ignis’ terrible measure of time. Ignis grabbed his arms as well and looked at him like this was a life-or-death issue. “Gladio, go to sleep. What are you waiting for?”

“For you to do it first.”

Ignis stared at him for a couple seconds. His next reaction made Gladio laugh again; Ignis let go of him and basically threw himself back down, and shut the eyes in a very miserable attempt of acting like he was asleep. The Shield waited there, grinning and staring at Ignis, just for curiosity to see what the adviser would do next. He saw Ignis opening an eye and looking his way, then shutting it again when he found Gladio staring. The Shield laughed a little more.

“…I’m asleep now” Ignis murmured, and it did not sound like he was playing at all. Ignis was serious, and it only made Gladio laugh more. “Go. You have work tomorrow.”

“Promise you won’t try to sneak out of my house in the middle of the night?” Gladio asked him warmly. Ignis opened the eye again and looked at him for a moment, and then he nodded. The Shield smiled. “Good. Don’t worry about sleeping until late. I’ll leave instructions with Jared so he prepares breakfast for you, alright?”

Ignis seemed to want to argue that, but Gladio raised an eyebrow at him. Apparently turning a little kid when drunk, Ignis shut the mouth again and only nodded, giving him naïve eyes.

“Alright. Now try to get some sleep, okay?” Gladio told him as softly as before. Ignis, once more, nodded. “We can talk about knights in shining armor and husband material tomorrow. I’d like that, and I think so will you.”

Ignis seemed to have gotten the joke, but, instead of laughing, he just tried to kick Gladio weakly, and proceeded to bury the face in the pillow. The Shield smiled and laughed lowly. He stood up from the bed and got closer to Ignis. He leaned down and caressed the adviser’s hair. And, gathering all the courage he could manage to find within himself, he leaned down even more, hesitated and pulled away for a moment, but then got closer again to press a little kiss to Ignis’ head. Tiny. But caring, and loving. And sincere.

“I’m sorry I took so long to answer the phone” he whispered to the adviser. “And I’m sorry that asshole tried to do something as wrong to you. You’re safe now. I won’t let anything like that happen again.”

Ignis did not answer. His body untensed while and after Gladio spoke to him. The Shield continued caressing his hair in an attempt of somehow helping him to fall asleep. Ignis rolled onto his side and looked up at him without taking the head off the pillow. His eyes looked big and exhausted and still pretty much drugged, but they were sincere and innocent. They kept eye contact for a long while, before the adviser offered a little and tired smile. Gladio replied with one of his own and continued caressing his hair.

“…thank you, Gladio” Ignis murmured to him and his smile widened a little. “You’re…always so good to me…”

It was very, drastically quick how Ignis drifted into sleep. As drugged, drunken and with his normal lack of sleep hours, it did not surprise Gladio. One moment Ignis was looking at him, the next he was blinking heavily, his eyelids started fluttering, and in less than four minutes the guy had already fallen asleep. The Shield did not stop caressing his hair all the while, running his fingers through the brown locks and enjoying of the sensation of his fingertips against that scalp. He waited until he was sure Ignis was asleep; eyes softly closed, breath calm and heavy, and confirmed it when he took his hand away and the man did not react. Gladio smiled a last time at him, and bent down to give him another kiss to the head. It felt a little wrong, since he was not his boyfriend or anything, but after such an unexpected way of confessing, he could not help himself. Gladio was just so happy to have him there, absolutely safe, and happy. All that he wanted was for Ignis to stay that way forever.

Gladio picked Ignis’ legs to get the sheets from under them, laid him again and covered him. The adviser, in his sleep, grabbed the edge of the blanket and pulled it closer, making himself comfortable, letting out a little sigh. Gladio smiled at the sight.

He could have gone straight to bed, but he still took a few more moments for other things that he considered important. He secretly stole Ignis’ wristwatch; he took his phone and switched off all the alarms, just to end up turning the entire device off, so nothing and no one would wake him up. He made sure there were no clocks in the room that could have a set alarm or just a ticking sound (Ignis was an early sleeper in his normal state, and Gladio would not risk having him wake up too soon due to his over-developed senses). He made sure to go to the bathroom and cleaned Ignis’ glasses, leaving them on the bedside table for him to find in the morning. The Shield still had to travel to the kitchen to look for some medicine for the next day migraine and consequences, and brought it to Ignis’ room along two glasses of water, placing them nearby the spectacles.

He gave a last glance at Ignis, and found him still asleep in the same position. Ignis had never been one to move too much in his sleep, and his drunken persona did not seem to disagree with that. Gladio smiled, got closer and caressed his hair a little more, and his smile widened when Ignis offered no reaction. Dead asleep, just as Gladio wanted him. He could not help but smile even more and lower the gaze when he remembered about the silly but pretty things Ignis had said about him. It had been small and dumb comments, but Gladio liked to believe that there was more in the subtext of the things Ignis called him. He would ask him in the morning, or whenever they could conversate again.

Gladio left to his own room, fighting the urge to get under the sheets at Ignis’ side. He sat down at the bed with a heavily sleepy sigh and looked at the hour. Almost four in the morning. He considered moving away his morning run, and that would leave him with…three hours of sleep.

Eh. Could be much worse.

He lied down and thought he would fall asleep immediately. Gladio was exhausted and wrecked like hell, but he still took long to fall asleep as lost in his thoughts as he was, and the more he imagined the conversation he hoped he could have with Ignis in some hours and the more he thought about Ignis calling him ‘his knight’ and ‘husband material’ and how he offered no complaints to talking about it in the morning, the more he grew hopes that his feelings were reciprocate, and the less Gladio wanted to sleep.

Suddenly, sleepless, exhausted and wrecked, morning could not come too soon.