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ruh--roh-raggy · 11 months ago

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Stars Look Nice Tonight (Punk William x Fem! Reader)

Hello hello! Welcome back to my lovely little punk Will series, thank you all so much for the love he's been so fun to write! So, this is a technical part 2 to Buzzed, but this series is going to be a little different than Home Sweet Home. I don't plan on following a linear timeline once I get their relationship fully established. What that's going to mean is we're going to have some plot build up with them being all cute and getting to know each other and flirting and all that good stuff, but the rest of this series is going to be published through one shots. I have a lot of ideas for fics with punk Will hehehe. If you have any requests you would like to see with him, let me know! If you would like to be added to my tag list, also let me know! Thank you all so much for reading!!

WARNINGS: Recreational 🍃 smoking, drinking at a bar, age gap (Reader is in early 20's Will is in his 40's/50's), mostly fluff with some suggestive flirting

You can find my Masterlist here!

Word Count: 2,782

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“Are you around this weekend?” You smiled against the receiver you had pressed to your ear. You paused for a moment, not wanting to respond too fast and seem too eager. Over your post concert dinner of greasy bacon and fluffy waffles you and Will both realized one thing, neither of you could get enough of one another. He loved how the sound of your melodic laughter made his heart beat faster, the shy smile you would give him as his hand brushed over yours, how every so often he would catch you staring at his lips with a wistful expression on your face. You were too busy getting caught up in his seductive gaze to notice. He asked if he could see you again. Casually, of course, he doesn’t want you to feel tied down. You had to refrain from practically screaming your acceptance in his face. Now, you were standing in your kitchen almost a week from then, the man occupying your every thought on the other end of the line.

“I should be.” You respond coyly. William breathes out a chuckle, he could practically hear the smirk in your voice. “Got something in mind?”

“I was thinking we could go out for drinks… give me a chance to make up for the one I spilled on you at the venue.” You leaned against the counter, listening to the way his deep voice crackled through the phone.

“If I remember right, you weren’t the one who spilled it on me.” You respond in a teasing tone.

“Still happened because the prettiest girl in the room decided to stop and talk to me.” You freeze, your cheeks immediately growing warm at his compliment. After a moment of your silence you hear Will laugh on the other end of the line. “If you want to throw me off my game you’re going to have to do a bit more than fact check me while I’m asking you out.” He jokes.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you.” You giggle. “I get off at 7 tonight and then I’m free the rest of the weekend.”

“I guess I should plan something a little more special than a grimey dive bar then, huh?”

“I don’t know, sounds pretty romantic to me.” The sound of his laughter makes you smile. “Will… you know I don’t mind seeing you more than one day in a row, right?” Now it was his turn to be quiet for a moment.

“I just don’t want you to feel rushed-”

“It’s not like that.” You twist the long, cream colored spiral cord around your finger. “I had a really nice time with you the other night.” You chew your lip nervously before deciding to just put it all out there. “I like you, Will. I want to spend time with you.” Your hands grew clammy as his end of the line remained silent.

“I like you too.” Will was grateful you couldn’t see him right now. His face was hot, there was no doubt in his mind that he was blushing terribly. He couldn’t believe how ridiculous he was acting right now. But, there was something about the soft way you spoke, your small confession still ringing in his ears, he felt like he was back in college all over again. “Do you want to meet me at Ralph’s after you get off work tonight?”

You were taken aback for a second, “you know Ralph’s?”

“What, you didn’t think you and your little baby punk friends discovered Ralph’s?” He asks in a teasing tone. “Baby, I’ve probably been going to Ralph’s since before you were born... Do I know Ralph's?” He scoffs.

“To answer your original question, I would love to meet you for drinks.” You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you attempt to suppress your eagerness to see him.

“8 o’clock work?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I’m really excited to see you tonight.” You jump as you hear him slam down the phone as he hangs up.

Will groans as he drags a hand down his face. “I’m really excited to see you tonight.” He repeats in a mocking tone. “Get a grip.”

“Well, hey stranger.” Will straightens up at the sound of your voice chirping next to him at the bar. He stood, sliding out a stool for you. His eyes hungrily raked over your frame, you had put on a slinky little black dress that perfectly hugged all of your delicate curves. He swallows thickly as his gaze trails over your pillowy thighs, he could only imagine how soft they would be clamped around his head.

“You look amazing.” He smiles at you, struggling to keep his eyes on yours, the thin layer of gold body glitter you had applied sparkled in the neon lights that covered the walls. He accidentally caught sight of your cleavage as you wiggled your way onto the stool, the sight alone enough to make his cock twitch in his jeans. You were incredibly beautiful, Will couldn't believed he had managed to earn even a fraction of your attention.

“Thank you.” You blush, looking up at him through your lashes. “You're looking pretty good yourself.” Will had opted for something a little more casual, a nicely fitted flannel that he had rolled up to just above his elbows and some jeans. Your eyes trailed down his arm, landing on his massive hand that dwarfed the beer bottle he was holding. The bartender makes his way over to you, a flirtatious smile on his lips that immediately makes Will prickle with annoyance.

“What can I get started for you, beautiful?” He asks with a wink. “Unless you want to just jump straight to getting my number?” You had to stop yourself from rolling your eyes. Some things never change. You glanced at Will out of the corner of your eye, his gaze was burning a hole in the side of the bartender's face. But, considering the two of you had agreed to keep things casual, he just sat quietly in his seat. Your delicate fingers slid over Will’s forearm, his attention immediately moving to you.

You leaned into him, wanting to give the bartender a full show in hopes he would leave the two of you alone. “What are you drinking baby?” You see Will subtly mouth the pet name you had decided to call him, pure confusion written in his features. You take the beer bottle from his hand, your chest pressing into his shoulder as you cuddle up to his side. You turn the bottle to read the label, it was some foreign beer you didn't recognize. You slowly brought the dark brown glass to your perfectly painted lips, tilting your head back to take a long sip. Your face scrunches up at the pungent, bitter liquid, you shake your head before putting it back in Will’s hand. You almost blew your cover as your eyes met Will’s. You could see his thoughts loading as he processed having you so close to him, threatening to tear a laugh from your throat.

“She’ll have a vodka cran.” He chimes in, gaze never leaving your face. The bartender hurries off with his tail in between his legs, obviously embarrassed that he came on so strong to someone who was obviously taken. “Not that I'm complaining, but what the fuck was all of that?” He asks with a chuckle.

“I came here to spend time with you.” You explain with a soft smile. “Not to be hit on by some sleazeball who’s probably going to somehow manage to fuck up a vodka cran, good choice by the way.” He laughs at your blatant dismissal of his competition.

“It seemed like a pretty safe option.” The two of you sat and chatted for hours at the bar. William filled you in on the fact that he both owns and operates Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria, a place you had loved since you were a kid, and he found out that you have the much less glamorous title of working at a hardware store. “I can't believe it, you've been working there all this time and we’ve never met.” The two of you had managed to huddle close together, you looked more akin to children swapping secrets on the playground than two grown adults having a normal conversation during a night out, but that was part of the fun. There was something about being around Will that made you feel alive. You weren't afraid to be silly, you weren't worried about him judging your interests, from the moment you had met you felt comfortable being 100% yourself around him, and Will would be lying if he said he didn't feel the same. He thought you were incredible, absolutely breathtaking in every way imaginable. He couldn't remember the last time someone had made him laugh this hard outside of Henry, every so often the two of you would have to pause just to catch your breaths. Will was honestly surprised that you seemed to like him, it had been years since he had met someone he didn't need to wear a mask in front of. Eventually, as it grew later, the bar gradually became more crowded. “Would you maybe want to go somewhere quieter?” He practically yells over the wall of sound.

“Sure!” You call back. “It’d be nice to be able to hear you.” You chuckle. Will settles your tab, refusing to let you pay for a single drink despite your adorable protests. You slowly pushed your way through the sea of people, Will keeping a protective hand on the small of your back as he helped part the way. You pushed into the stillness of the night, a shiver running up your spine at the drastic change in temperature. You stood opposite him, you faced each other in silence for a moment as you thought of a way to extend your evening together. “Not to be your stereotypical twenty something year old,” William chuckles as you break the stillness that had surrounded you. “But, I have a bong and an eighth in my car.” Will glances up at the sky.

“Stars look nice tonight.” A small smile spreads across his lips as his attention falls back onto you. “You're going to freeze to death dressed like that.”

You wave him off with a dismissive sound, “I'll be fine, I've been through worse.”

“I think,” he starts as he takes slow steps closer to you, “you should go get that bong ready to go while I go grab you a jacket.”

��I can work with that.” You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, shooting him a coy expression.

You pop your trunk, digging through the bags and emergency supplies you had stacked in front of your piece. The glass was ice cold against your palm and you let out a sigh of relief when you saw that you had fully cleaned it after its last use. You let out a small scream as a warm weight falls around your shoulders, the sound of William’s laughter immediately calming you. Your nose filled with the growingly familiar scent, a delighted hum slipping past your lips. You glanced at the denim, a patch you recognized catching your attention. “You know if you keep letting me borrow this jacket I'm going to steal it one of these days.” You tease.

“What a shame that would be.” He responds with a slight roll of his eyes. He carefully takes your hands in his, holding your arms away from your body. “If I'm being completely honest you look a lot better in my battle jacket than I ever did.”

“This is your battle jacket?” Your eyes widen as you ask. He nods in response. “Oh, Will, I-”

“Listen, my days of being a grimy little pit rat whose only purpose is to smoke, fuck, and sticking it to the man are behind me… Well, maybe not that last part.”

“Doesn't seem like you're doing too good at the first part either.” You tease with a small laugh, holding up the bong you had originally been asked to retrieve. “Hopefully I'll find out eventually where you fall in that middle category.” You wink at him before heading to the front of your car, attempting to hide the fact that your cheeks were burning over such a forward statement. You hoist yourself up onto the hood of your car with a groan, sliding yourself back so you could lay against your windshield. Will maneuvers himself next to you, fishing a lighter out of his pocket. He nods for you to take the first hit, flicking the lighter to life and preparing to light the bowl for you. You glanced up at him, stunning silver eyes studying you with a softness you had never witnessed before. You tilt your head back, blowing a plume of smoke up into the night sky. The two of you take turns, swapping the bong between you. A soft smile grows on your lips as you catch Will's lingering gaze. “What's that look for?”

“Can I make a really stupid request?” He asks softly.

“No such thing as a stupid request, but continue.” You turn to him with a smile.

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you since I saw you tonight… I’d like to be able to kiss you again, if that's alright.” You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, scanning over his handsome features as your pulse thundered in your ears.

“I think that sounds a little better than alright.” You respond in a low, seductive tone. His hand cups your jaw, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip. He dips his head lower, his lips just out of reach of your own.

“Has anyone ever told you, you have really pretty eyes?” You breathe out a laugh.

“I bet you say that to all the girls.” He shakes his head in response, you notice him swallow, a subtle nervousness in his eyes that you almost missed.

“There are no other girls… only you.” You push yourself forward, a surprised sound escaping Will as your lips land on his. An arm circles around your waist, pulling you in impossibly closer. You set the bong down on the hood of your car before straddling his lap. He pulls you flush against his chest, his other hand tangling into your hair. Your arms rest comfortably over his shoulders, he lets out a small hum as he kisses you, smiling against your lips. You pull back with a small gasp as air rushes into your lungs, your pupils blown as adrenaline courses through your veins.

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the concert.” You admit breathlessly. William gives you a charming, lopsided smile.

“Well, I guess we’re both in trouble.” He responds with a chuckle, making you let out a soft laugh of your own. “I just don't want you to feel like you have to rush into anything you’re not sure about.”

“I don't feel like we’re rushing anything.” You reassure him. “It feels right, being here with you like this.” He feels the way your shuddering breath ghosts over his lips, his eyes flicking over your face as he drank in every detail of you. His hands knead at your waist, trying to think of how to respond. It’s not that he didn't want you to be exclusively his, he had thought about how pretty you would look covered in bite marks, showing off to the world that the two of you were an item. But you had so much life in you, so much you had yet to experience, could he really be what you want? At the moment he couldn't really bring himself to care. You were sitting so prettily in his lap, your short dress riding up your thighs, his jacket drowning your tiny frame. Who was he to deny an angel what she wanted?

He sighs out your name as his lips find their way back to yours. You tangle your fingers in his hair, his glasses pressing uncomfortably into your cheek. Will tried to elaborate on his conditions in between kissing you. “I want you to set the pace.” He sputters out breathlessly. “If we’re moving too fast… or not fast enough… just tell me…” He slides a hand under your jacked, feeling the soft curve of your back against his palm. His lips leave yours, trailing across your jaw.

“Will?” You ask softly.

“Yes, rabbit?” He pauses immediately, pulling back to make sure you were okay. Your eyes instantly met his, the way they twinkled in the moonlight almost made him melt on the spot.

“Take me home?”

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Tag List: @yellowbunnydreams @zoey5252 @redflowery @loudchaosking @weirdoartist21 @residentevilbeast @lokanda @emmbny @yukkkiki @twelvelevens

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i-am-beckyu · 5 months ago

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Just out of Reach, but Never out of Sight

So..... it's been *looks at last update* SHEESH A YEAR ?!?! Uhhhh I'm so sorry this took so long to update, but I am far from done with this au so let's go for getting another upload! I've shared my views on the whole William Gold thing so further explanation is here. But without further a do, enjoy!

Chapter 4

chapter 1, chapter 2, chapter 3 cw: panic, anxiety, fear of abandonment, mentions of child abuse/neglect and a whole lot of fluff :3 wc: 3938

Disclaimer! This story is based on the characters of the Dream SMP and not the real life content creators. Anything that occurs in this story is purely fiction and should be treated as such. Thank you.

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Wilbur sat at the dining room table, his plate of syrup-drowned waffles staring back at him.

He wanted to know what Phil and Tommy were talking about and why the boy had hid under the bed.

He thought they’d calmed him down last night?

The second he’d given Tommy the little cow plushie, Wilbur noticed how the boy’s eyes had widened with wonder. It was the sweetest thing the blonde had done since he met him, and he’d had to hold himself back from cooing and wrapping the boy into a hug.

But doing that would definitely be overstepping some kind of boundary judging by Tommy’s reactions and that was the last thing the brunette wanted to do. All the evidence was right there when he’d thought about it as he drifted off to sleep the night before. The flinching, the withdrawnness and the fear of saying the wrong thing; it all just began to add up.

Tommy had been abused.

No child would be dressed in poorly put together rags and react the way they had if they hadn’t thought they were going to be hurt. Hiding under the bed was the confirmation he needed that his assumptions were true and all he could think about was how he didn’t want anyone else hurting that sweet little boy ever again.

Not if he had anything to say about it.

“What’s got you in a tizzy?”

Wilbur lifted his head to see his twin, Technoblade, leaned up against the kitchen counter with a freshly poured steaming cup of coffee.

“Morning Techno. Sorry, didn’t hear you enter.”

“It’s not like you to be up so early Wil.” The pink-haired teen commented curiously.

He couldn’t help but observe the way his brother kept their gaze trained towards the hallway as he joined them at the dining table. He could make out the muffled voice of Phil talking from the other room but not what was being said.

“Is it that kid Dad brought home?” Technoblade asked. “I heard you both calling for them this morning which woke me up.”

“Yeah, sorry about that.” Wilbur smiled apologetically as he faced his brother across the table. “We were, but Dad’s with him now under the bed.”

“He’s what?” Techno arched his brow perplexed. “Under the bed?”

“Yeah.” Wilbur sighed heavily. “I think I spooked him when I was going to come in about breakfast, and he panicked.”

He couldn’t help but think about how closed off Tommy had been the night before. The way he seemed to carefully choose his movements and would shrink back if he felt like he overdid it. He wanted to see the Tommy with the spitfire attitude. Not the child that felt the need to tread carefully through every interaction.

“I think- I think wherever he came from he was abused, Tech.”

“Well from how you and Dad described him in the messages, it certainly wouldn’t be too far-fetched to assume it.” Techno sipped his coffee as Wilbur grabbed his knife to cut into his waffles and sighed.

“Well whatever happened to Tommy, I’m hoping we can get him to open up and talk to us.”

For his sake.

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Leaving the guest bedroom had been far harder than what it should have been.

While he knew Phil was only concerned for his well being, Tommy wasn’t quite sure he was ready to be in the presence of all 3 Beans at once.

He knew Phil had mentioned the night before about Techno coming home late which undoubtedly meant the teen was up by now having his morning coffee and Tommy knew how Techno tended to act around ‘new visitors.’

One good perk of living in the walls was you learned how every person of the household acted around each other, and new people. Phil and Wilbur were always fairly welcoming, but Techno wasn’t the easiest to talk to. If you didn’t know him, he may come across as cold and calculating. Not the easiest person to approach without shaking in your boots that’s for sure.

But as Tommy would tell you, he knew that after the guests had all left, the sheer amount of relief the pinkette would feel, further revealing how awkward they had been about being around these ‘strangers’ was hilarious. It wasn’t a villain behind glasses moment, just an awkward teen with limited social skills.

Tommy couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he’d watched the teen collapse in his bed after a certain interaction with a salesman as if it had drained all the life out of him. People just weren’t Techno’s strong suit.

But even knowing this didn’t ease the boy's nerves. It didn’t change the fact that even if Technoblade was socially awkward that he wasn’t capable of harm. The fencing trophies in his room a testament to that feat of strength.

His nervousness about having breakfast with the 3 must have been obvious, because Phil had gently placed his hand on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze before leading them both out of the guest room and to the dining room.

Just breathe Tommy. They don't know what you are yet.

You’re okay for now.

“Morning Tech, good to see you up and about.” Phil greeted chipperly as he manoeuvred himself into the kitchen leaving Tommy to observe by the hallway. “I’d like you to meet Tommy.”

Tommy briefly met Techno’s gaze and was met with a solemn stare as they sipped on their coffee. He’d be joking if he said he knew what was going on in the teens head.

The blonde forced himself to give one short acknowledging nod at the pinkette, not trusting his voice to form any coherent words as he shifted uncomfortably from where he stood. He deliberately kept his eyes averted from the twins at the table, fully well knowing Techno was most definitely staring at him, if the hot feeling of holes being burnt through his chest wasn’t already obvious enough.

It took everything in him to not run right there and then.

“Tommy, why don’t you take a seat next to Techno and I’ll fix you up something to eat.”

Okay now would be a good time for his voice box to work because there was no way he wanted to sit next to Technoblade.

That was NOT his ideal way of getting caught.

It didn’t matter if humans couldn’t read minds, if anyone could catch on to something being off, it would be Technoblade. It was like the teen had a sixth sense and somehow just always knew when something wasn’t quite right. Just like the moving of the craft knife, he was sure if he slipped up in front of Techno, they’d know and it would be game over and onto the torture in a heartbeat.

Thankfully, it didn’t seem like it would come to that, as Techno was quick to stand and tuck in his chair as he excused himself to finish some upcoming school work.

“All good Dad, I’ve got homework to finish before school on Monday. I’ll just excuse myself.”

Tommy felt himself relax. Oh, thank Prime for humans and their absurd amounts of homework! Even if he didn’t really understand why they got it.

“Alright Techno, just make sure to have something more than coffee this morning alright? And don’t let me catch you having something potato-based before lunch, got it?”

“No promises.” The pinkette replied, before grabbing an apple from the refrigerator and began walking towards his room.

Tommy however was still glued to the hallway.

The hallway that led to said Bean's bedroom.

Even though he was Bean sized right now, Technoblade still towered over the young boy. So much so that the light overhead was slightly obscured, casting an eerie shadow over the teens face making his deep brown eyes appear to glow a dark red. Tommy felt the way his heart spiked, his instincts screaming at him to run as his eyes darted around looking for potential tunnels and crevices to escape to. Anything to get away from this predator of man as they came to a steady stop before him.

“Ahem.” The teen cleared his throat along with a flick of his head.

What did he want? He hadn’t even done anything and was already in trouble? Should he have moved to the table quicker? Or had he stared too long?

A second cough with another jerk of the teen's head as Tommy’s anxiety began to grow finally keyed what Techno wanted from him.

Oh .

He wanted him to move.

“Tech, quit scaring the poor kid and go around them.” Phil teasingly scolded. “You’re gonna give Tommy a heart attack.”

Techno huffed in minor annoyance before shuffling past, minorly brushing against Tommy’s arm as he did. It wasn’t hard or anything, but Tommy couldn’t suppress the flinch it caused from his prior panic. He missed the way Techno’s eyes furrowed in concern as he hurried to move before he caused any more problems.

“Don’t mind him Tommy,” Wilbur piped up, drawing the younger's attention back to the table. “He’s not much of a people person.”

The blonde finally let himself breathe as he brought his attention back to the brunette as they continued. “Come take a seat and have some breakfast, yeah?”

Tommy nodded, gingerly making his way over to the table plopping down opposite Wilbur as instructed before. As he sat, Phil picked up a plate and served a freshly cooked waffle onto it, before drizzling it in thick golden syrup and strawberries.

“Here you are, mate.” The man said placing the decorative dessert in front of him with a knife and fork.

He whispered his thanks as he picked up the utensils, but the Borrower couldn’t help but be on edge. Even if Phil and Wilbur had been nice to him his whole stay, Techno clearly didn’t want him here. He was sure that after breakfast, Phil was going to take him back to the park like he’d said, but then what? He couldn’t tell them that his real home was actually here, but also couldn’t risk being taken to the park and never finding his way back.

There had to be a way to figure out this whole mess before they brought up leaving. At most he just had to figure out a way to get back from the park after they left him there because it’s not like the walls were an option until he had a grasp on how he kept growing and shrinking.

Tommy cut a bit of the waffle off before stabbing it and a strawberry onto his fork, the maple syrup having sunken into the fluffy dessert. At least he’d get to enjoy one more good meal before he gets temporarily kicked out.

‘Hopefully not forever’ the Borrower thought bitterly at the idea of abandoning yet another home.

“So, Tommy,” Phil began as he set a plate of his own waffles down to join the pair at the table. “Feeling a bit better?”

“Yeah, a bit.” He answered as he took another mouthful of waffle. “The waffles are really good.” The boy said, muffled between chews.

“Ew, finish your mouthful before you speak.” Wilbur grimaced as Tommy shovelled another forkful of waffle in. “I don’t want to see your mushed-up breakfast, thanks.”

Tommy slowed his chewing and allowed himself to swallow. Shoot, he hadn’t meant to upset him with how he ate again. Did he now have to be conscious about how he ate too? He thought humans ate like this all the time though?

“Wilbur.” Phil scolded as he elbowed his son in the arm. “You’re almost as bad as Techno.”

The man sighed before turning his attention back to the tense blonde with a sympathetic smile. “It’s alright Tommy that’s not what Wilbur meant. It’s just you need to finish your mouthful before speaking. You could choke if you’re not careful.”

The boy nodded hesitantly before taking another mouthful and chewing it fully before swallowing. Why did humans have to have so many rules? In the colony, no one would have bat an eye if you spoke with your mouth full. You’d get your share and move on. How you ate was no one’s business and certainly no one cared about how Tommy ate. Then again, he’d never really had enough food to stuff his face when he was at the colony for it to be an issue.

Perhaps he was being sloppy…

“Sorry.” He whispered before taking another bite.

Phil sighed, setting down his knife with a soft clink. How was he going to get this kid to see that he was safe here? He hadn’t meant to make them feel more uncomfortable but it seemed the stress of it all was starting to get to the kid.

The man stared at the plate in front of him, his waffles half-eaten and starting to get cold. Each step of progress to make Tommy feel comfortable felt like it took 2 steps back. The kid was probably itching to get to the park and get back home too, but the thought of leaving Tommy like this just didn’t sit well with him. He glanced at the young blonde as he took his time with each bite, noticing how his gaze flicked from Wilbur to him and back to the plate worried as they ate in silence.

So tense, like walking on thin ice…

After finishing pacing himself on breakfast, Tommy had been intercepted by Wilbur.

The brunette had taken one look at him and insisted he have a shower, shoving some clean clothes into him and ushered him into the bathroom. It’s a good thing he knew how taps worked, because understanding how to change water temperature would have been an awful experience had he not.

Despite feeling bad about using the Crafts water, Tommy had to admit being able to wash up properly after so long felt wonderfully refreshing. Even seeing his own reflection in the mirror; clean and well-groomed for the first time in years, had him taken aback at how nice his hair and skin looked after a good wash.

The clothes Wilbur had given him had been some old clothes he didn’t fit into anymore and had had lying around. A pair of jeans, a basic t-shirt with some humans on it that Tommy didn’t recognise and an old blue sweater that was slightly too big on him. It felt odd to wear clothes made with fabrics of such high quality, but he instantly fell in love with the sweater.

Now yes, he was aware of how bad his clothes had been. They were basically falling to bits on him, but it’s not like he didn’t know that. The Great Tommyinnit knows how to make nice clothes thank you very much.

If anything he was a pro tailor back in the colony, but considering he’d been roaming for weeks at a time carrying only the bare necessities before finally settling in at the crafts; new clothes hadn’t been much of a priority. He’d only really just managed to get his new home to his liking and with all the necessities he would need. New clothing had been next on his to-do list, if the mud-stained and holey garments he wore daily had made any indications of needing them.

He just needed a few days to gather the fabric and thread and he’d have a new wardrobe within the week. But the clothes he made vs the clothes Wilbur had lent him were nothing in comparison to quality! It was all just so soft and silky feeling and Tommy almost never wanted to take any of it off even if it was slightly too big. It wouldn’t be hard to adjust the seams on the jeans to make them fit better and the same with the shirt. His trusty handmade needle could make quick work of that.

Maybe Wilbur wouldn’t mind if he took them home with him?

That was, if he’d ever be able to go home.

Tommy still didn’t understand how any of this worked and trying to make himself leave the bathroom to ‘take him home’ was not helping.

The curling feeling in his gut telling him to just stay put and hide kept him mulling over the options in his head. But how could he do that after he told Phil he lived near the park? They would expect him to be fine once he left and go back home just like he supposedly wanted.

He turned to face himself in the mirror, stray water droplets dripped down the side of his face from his still-damp hair. The clean, presentable Tommy he saw now, no longer the same dirty, orphan he knew he was. Perhaps if he’d always been like this, he’d never have been kicked out of the colony. He never would have been alienated by those meant to care, never felt so small when it was normal. But now he was big, clean and everything someone might love as a Human Bean and yet he felt so fake hiding behind a false facade.

After all, he was only a Borrower.

The dreaded small feeling came creeping back in and all it took was one glance at the mirror for Tommy to wish he was back to his old self. He shouldn’t have put the thought of being loved in his head again. As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t bear the thought of the Crafts turning on him should this disguise fall. Tommy squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he clutched the edge of the sink counter.

He wanted to go home and be small again. Hide away where it was safe from all that was out to get him. Away from this reflection of a boy he didn’t recognise. A tingly sensation pricked at his skin as tears began to drip steadily down his cheeks. He was being childish; he knew that, but he didn’t care. Why couldn’t he just be loved as he was?

Upon opening his eyes to look at the disgrace that was him in the mirror, Tommy found he was no longer staring at himself, but rather at the side of the wooden cabinet- three times smaller than he’d been almost seconds before.

He’d shrunk. Again?

Confusion swept over his mind as he scrubbed at his face. How did this keep happening? One second he’s big and hating his Bean size counterpart, the next he’s smaller and wishing….

To be smaller…

It suddenly all began to make sense as the puzzle pieces began to slot into place. Every time he’d grown or shrunk, he’d been wishing to change. To be bigger to catch up or smaller to go home. He willed it, and it happened.

Did his desire to change trigger the shift of his size?

Tentatively, Tommy stood back from the counter and focused hard. He wanted to be smaller, like his old self. Small enough to fit through the cracks, small enough to hide out of sight, be 3 inches tall again, the only right size. The Tommy size.

The tingling returned, this time all over his body as the blonde focused on changing his shape to be what he envisioned. It was a warm sensation and Tommy thought it was strange how he’d never felt it until now. When the tingling dissipated, Tommy slowly opened his eyes as a small gasp escaped him.

“I shrunk.” He whispered in awe as he took in the now enlarged bathroom. He grabbed at his hands and arms, patting himself down to prove that he indeed had changed with a disbelieving laugh. “I’m me again.”

“Ha, I’m actually me! Oh, thank prime.” Tommy cheered as he hugged himself tight. “I thought I’d never work this out.”

The familiarity of large objects and tall ceilings finally returned the Borrower's sense of normalcy. How he missed this. He could finally go home, size not restricting him at all and return back to the safety of the walls. Just the walls, his tiny shoebox home and-

Me.

Tommy glanced around the little bathroom. The light green tiles were clearly a design choice by Phil but the fluffy light blue towels were definitely a conscious decision by Wilbur, and you’d never guess the yellow daffodils were put together by Technoblade. Each had their own little way of expressing themselves.

Tommy sighed as he stared at his hands, inspecting them front and back.

So a simple thought was all it took to change size right?

Just think big- be big. Simple.

Right?

Only a bit of tingling later and Tommy was back to his Bean height. It truly took no effort at all, as if it was second nature to him. Not Borrower nature, but certainly something. Maybe the other Borrowers had always been able to sense that in him. This thing that wasn’t quite right was this incredible size-shifting ability that probably no one had ever heard of and he had it. He certainly was no Borrowerer and definitely not a Bean.

But no one else knew that.

Tentatively, Tommy reached out and picked up a single Daffodil and twirled it in his hand. He’d heard Technoblade talking about how there was a whole language of flowers and that each one meant something different when presented to another person. He couldn’t remember what a Daffodil meant but, the flower itself brought the happy memories of Crafts to the forefront of his mind.

They didn’t know what he was and with this shifting ability sort of figured out, what could stop him from staying? Or at least from getting to know the Crafts better. With something to leave behind, all it would take is to leave a trail back to the Crafts house from the park and he could go and come when he pleased. He’d be able to walk distances that used to take him days in a matter of minutes with ease and the Crafts would never have to know about where his true place of residence was.

It was a second chance at having a real family, or at least a relationship with someone that didn’t immediately hate him. He wouldn’t have to leave forever and could come back and actually talk to someone! It may be risky without knowing the full extent of the shifts, but it was a chance and a chance he was willing to take.

A knock at the door caused the boy to jump, but thankfully he remained silent this time.

“Tommy you alright in there?” It was Phil. Bless the old man's heart for his concern. “You’ve been in there awhile and just wanted to check if you were okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m alright,” Tommy called back through the door looking around the bathroom for something to enact his hastily thrown together plan. “Just about done. I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Okay, we’ll get ready to leave shortly to take you back to the park then, if you’re happy to.”

The blonde finally spotted something suitable for his trail and quickly grabbed a handful of decorative little blue pebbles from the bottom of a vase filled with fake pink camellia flowers and shoved them into his pocket before grabbing his dirty clothes.

“Sounds good, big man,” Tommy said as he opened the door to where the taller blonde was standing a little bit away looking minorly concerned.

“Let’s get going.” the boy said with a smile.

This was going to work.

He knew it.

･｡ﾟ☆: *. .* ･｡ﾟ☆ : ☽ .* ･｡ﾟ☆: *. .*

__________________________

YAY! WE FINISHED CHAPTER 4!!! WOOOOO Again I am so sorry this took so long to do. I've been working on it on and off for awhile with little progress and life has just been kicking my butt lately that finishing stuff up sucks. I have made a start on chapter 5 and I do plan to finish this fic, it just may take awhile with current circumstances.

HUGE thank you to @a-xyz-s and @munchkin1156 for beta reading this chapter and grammar issues! You are my heroes TwT.

TAG LIST: @local-squishmallow @brick-a-doodle-do @justarandomsloth @veryfunkycheesecake @munchkin1156 @kayla-crazy-stuffs @da3dm @eiscreme135 @orchid-harmony @the-tiny-lurker @colossal-red @nobodywritingao3 @nata2343 @bad-author777 @crazyfoxgirl10 @guppybubbles @box-beanz

Link to tag list for future tags :3

✨Thanks for reading! <3✨

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visualtaehyun · 7 months ago

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Tagged by @thegalwhorants here, thank you dear ✨ I love musical tag games but this might be the first time I've answered one where the results are extremely telling about me lmao

Shuffle your On Repeat playlist and then list the first ten songs!

Next Love by BADMIXY

youtube

P'Mix's MVs are always super fun and unapologetically queer and I love her as a songwriter! This song is actually over two years old but I first listened to it after ฟ้ารักพ่อ (DILF) went viral and she came out with her debut album that included this song. But I'm pretty sure I became properly obsessed with it after hearing the RnB arrangement that (surprise surprise 🤡) ZeeNuNew performed during the DMDLand2 concert. Also wanna shoutout that time New and P'Erk Chrrissa covered it together during a live session because it made me hope P'Mix might one day write a song for New!

ไหล่เธอ (You've Got Ma Back) by Fourth Nattawat, Ford Arun, Satang Kittiphop, Winny Thanawin

youtube

I love this show and the entire OST! Could I have just linked the official MV? Why yes of course, but that wouldn't showcase the chaotic energy of the MSP gang as well lol (if the video doesn't start at the timestamp, it begins at 8:45!)

Get A Guitar by RIIZE

youtube

Now this one's a real wildcard lmao It is literally the only song on my On Repeat that isn't written or performed by a Thai artist! I came across it through a KPop random dance vid so obviously I had to link the Studio Choom performance. The choreo is so fun and, to this day, some of my favorite KPop songs are funky just like this one. I don't know who this group is btw (like I literally only found out through this tag game that they're an SM group lol) since I stopped following KPop artists and trends when I fell into my lil Thai and QL corner here so sorry if I sound like your typical clueless local now 😂

รักแท้ (True Love) by NuNew

youtube

He's performed this song countless times by now but I chose this one in particular because it was such a huge stage and opportunity for New 🥹 The official MV currently sits at 68 million views btw

ภาพสุดท้าย (Last Twilight) by William Jakrapatr

youtube

Y'all. I was so obsessed with this song. Like I literally know the entire lyrics by heart. Since Pal reminded me of Piano & i, I had to go with this performance! :) I'm really looking forward to William's upcoming series - I love LYKN and Est Supha and am sure the OST is gonna be incredible.

꽃이 피는데 필요한 몇 가지 (Blooming Just For You) by NuNew, Paul Kim

youtube

The first time he performed this song live 💕

How You Feel by NuNew

youtube

Have I mentioned NuNew is my favorite artist 555 This is the song that did me in - it's the first song by a Thai artist that I added on Spotify after getting into QL via KPop -> DKZ -> Semantic Error -> other KBLs -> "Oh, let's watch another popular BL on Viki"... and now I'm here waffling on about Thai language and music lol

ใจรัก by Zee Pruk

youtube

P'Zee recently said he didn't enjoy singing before he met New but that he's found joy in it after singing with him a lot. And he's improved so much! My favorite will always be when he sings ballads and love songs like this one though. (fyi this song is like 40 years old so you might have heard it covered by other artists before)

ประตูวิเศษ (Better Days) by Jimmy Jitaraphol, Sea Tawinan

youtube

Aaaand check for another song off the Last Twilight soundtrack that I was obsessed with! What can I say, I'm a P'Amp fangirl lol The lyrics are lovely, it's easy listening, and this show occupied my brain for months.

ก้อนหินกับดวงดาว (Rock & Star) by Fourth Nattawat

youtube

Love this scene, love Chinzhilla, love these lyrics, I'm repeating myself lol you get the gist, it's a banger!

___

To sum up- 7/10 are OSTs, 5/10 were written by Amp Achariya, and 3/10 are by NuNew (+2 more made me talk about him). So now that I've been publicly clowned by my own Spotify, I'm tagging (no pressure ofc): @zimmbzon @pharawee @airenyah @telomeke @rocketturtle4 and whoever sees this and goes Oh hell yeh an excuse to talk about my fav music!

#tag game #thai music #badmixy #nunew chawarin #zee pruk #william jakrapatr #bella and the blorbos

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adickaboutspoons · 8 months ago

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🤡🛒⛔ for the meme!

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

I prefer to think of most of my WIPs as in long-term holding patterns, but yeah, there's a couple that will prolly never get developed further. There's one I wrote to entertain my Discord girlies (g/n) as an canon-divergence to 1x7 where Jack is drunk enough to black out before whippies part II & drunken Ed goes to see about Stede reading in his bunk. And I quoted entirely too much "Tess of the D'urbervilles" and there is drunken knifeplay.

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

I'm constitutionally incapable of not comparing Stede to the sun or going on at length about Ed's incredible eyes. You know it's an envinoveritas joint if Stede is deeply oblivious or, at the very least, nobly restrained when it comes to Ed, because he's fundamentally incapable of believing that anyone, much less *Ed*, could be attracted to him. Oh, also I'm a little obsessed with Ed creatively swearing in his head - if the fic is from his POV, there WILL be at least on instance where he's all "Fucking fuck a motherless poxy cock-swallowing twat waffle of a duck taint in hell."

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh? I think I'm a pretty funny writer, but I don't really laugh at my own jokes. That said, I'm not above a self-satisfied smile. Here's a scene from a Taskmaster AU I've been pecking away at for the entertainment of my Discord girlies (g/n). The premise is that, while recording the tasks, Stede got assigned a solo task to send cheeky texts to Greg's phone every day for five months, only to find out at the record for the in-studio part of the show that Greg hadn't received a single one; Stede had sent them all to the wrong number. Which started to text back after the episode aired...

He climbed out of bed, wincing just a little when he stretched and cursing his old bones. He went to the bathroom, brushed the bog-taste from his mouth, pulled on some clean clothes, then grabbed his phone to go downstairs and put on some tea. A calming brew might be just the thing, depending on what William S. Hornberry, Esq. had to say. Will answered on the second ring. “It’s already on telly, Stede. You really just need to put Channel 4 as far from your mind as possible,” he sighed into the phone without any preamble. “No - I mean, yes, I know. This is not about that. Well, adjacent to that. What I mean to say is I got a reply. From the person I’ve been texting in error I mean.” There was another sigh down the line, and the sound of Will taking a sip of a calming brew of his own. “Okay. Let’s have it.” “What?” “Read it to me - what does it say?” Stede picked the Taskmaster phone up off the counter and thumbed the power button. He undid the lock screen (a picture of Greg’s disapproving face staring out at him), and pulled up the text window. “Oh! There’s more since I went to bed last night!” he said. He skimmed over the new message quickly. So far, no indication that this was going to go south! Excellent. He judiciously tempered his excitement until he heard Will’s opinion, though. Will waited in polite silence. Stede cleared his throat, scrolled back up to where the messages started, and read it all off to him. “‘Loved the show tonight.' 'Been loving the texts even more.' 'Keep ‘em coming.' 'Sexy.' That’s all the stuff from before I went to bed. The new stuff says: ‘You deserved more than 2 points for Kings Quest. That game rocked.' 'Let me know when you’re done playing with floppy things. I’ve got something hard I think you might be interested in.’ So what do we think? Doesn’t seem like they’re inclined to sue me, right?” “Well, if he is, he won’t have a leg to stand on now that he’s flirting back,” Will answered with a hearty chortle. “Flirting? What - no! Just being cheeky, surely? Giving as good as they got.” Another heavy sigh heaved its way down the line. “Stede, I say this not just as your lawyer, but, after all these years, someone I hope you think of as a dear friend. You don’t have the best track record when it comes to realizing someone is flirting with you.” “I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.” Stede huffed. “Name one time you’ve seen someone flirt with me and I didn’t recognize it.” There was a long silence. So long that Stede pulled the phone away from his ear to see if the call had dropped. “Just-” Stede pulled the phone back to his ear quickly, “Just send yourself screencaps from the Taskmaster phone, ok? Just in case it gets deactivated? That way you’ll still have the evidence. Leave it to me to prove intent.” “Okay,” Stede agreed. “Do you want me to forward it to you as well?” “God no - I don’t want your Etonian smut. Not until absolutely necessary at least.” “You’re hilarious,” Stede said wryly. “No, that’s your job. Goodbye, Stede. I’m charging you for the whole hour.” “Hilarious,” Stede repeated and rang off.

#ask meme #ofmd fic #my modest contribution to fandom

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midnightswithdearkatytspb · 1 year ago

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MidnightsWithDearKatyTSPB’s Recommendation List: May Pt. 2

Hi everyone. Welcome to the second part of May’s recommendation list. Can you believe we maxed out Part 1 linking availability? You guys are writing machines! With finals coming to a close and some of you graduating, I hope you are taking some time to enjoy reading and self-care. I’m so very proud of every one of you. If you would like a moodboard made for your story or character, feel free to send me a request. I would love to make you one. If you are interested in having your writing challenges featured here, your stories, or even your blog, please feel free to tag me in your works, message me, or use the hashtag MidnightWithDearKatyTSPB. Heads up, June may be all on one list. I’m going to my Grandmother’s 90th birthday and visit my family. I’ll get plenty of reading done while I’m gone, but I don’t know how much list-making I’ll get done. Enjoy the rest of your spring and the start of your summer!

<<May Pt. 1 💐

June 🐾 >>

Masterlist 📜

PEDRO PASCAL CHARACTERS:

DRABBLES/BLURBS:

Big Fan (Tommy's Version) by @atinylittlepain >> Tommy Miller ft. Ellie Williams - Summary: Tommy and Ellie stumble on someone very familiar to Tommy. | I was laughing so hard at everyone's reaction to this.

ONE-SHOTS:

2 Murphy's and a Peña by @violentdelightsandviolentends >> Javier Peña x Female Reader - Summary: Reader has a horrible date. Javier thinks she just needs a man who puts her needs first. (My Summary) | This was short and hot, just how you need it sometimes.

Aquatic Rehabilitation by @psychedelic-ink >> Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: Joel has been experiencing knee pain for the past two months. When he finally sees an orthopedist, he learns that he has some minor damage to his meniscus. The doctor prescribes him anti-inflammatory medication and physical therapy, recommending swimming. At the pool, he meets you. | Wowza, that was really hot.

Drown in your Wrath and Fury by @movievillainess721 >> Dave York x curvy f!reader x (with a surprise guest) - Summary: You're Dave's prisoner...and old flame. Can you survive his wrath and fury? | It was so hot, I was blushing.

*I Crawl Home To Her by @johnwatsn >> Joel Miller ft. Sarah Miller & Ellie Williams - Summary: After being stabbed, Joel floats in and out of consciousness, between then and now, before and after, and his two daughters, both saving him in their own ways. | This is just a masterpiece of emotion, and it's so well written!

Look For The Butterfly by @lily-inbloom >> post-outbreak!Joel Miller x fem!reader - Summary: Sarah reminds Joel of something very important. | Don't mind me. I'll just be over here in the corner crying like a big baby.

Prove It by @joelscruff >> boyfriend's dad!Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: Joel shows you how much he cares about you (in a slightly depraved way). (in connection with quickie and snack break) | Made my heart drop to the bottom of my stomach with emotions while supplying wonderful filth and excitement.

Request by @joelsgirl >> Joel Miller x Reader - Summary/Request: Reader is feeling awful because she's too warm, and the relief he feels when he sees her cooling off, physically and emotionally? | A charming short piece showing the caring side of Joel is what we need sometimes.

The Saint, The Sinner, & The Devil by @joelsgirl >> Mafia DBF!Joel Miller, Corrupt Javier Pena + Reader - Sneak Peak: “Yes, little one. You'll get to service us both tonight.” | Excellent and Filthy

Satellite by @jksprincess10 >> Assistant!reader x Javier Peña - Summary: Summary: You’re trying really hard not to fuck your boss. But everyone around you, including him, makes it really hard. | Javi could probably convince me to do anything.

Sharing Is Caring by @dreamsofmandalore >> Mafia!AU Joel Miller x Reader x Javier Peña - Summary: Several people asked what would happen if mafia enforcer Joel and corrupt agent Javi existed in the same universe. | Thank you for feeding our wildest imaginations.

Waffle House Confessions by @softlyspector >> no outbreak!Joel Miller x f!Reader - Summary: You pick an inopportune moment to give Joel some news. | I felt like I was watching it play out on TV, and I was feeling all the emotions coming across—such a good one-shot.

Words by @joelscruff >> boyfriend's dad!Joel Miller x f!reader - Summary: You and Joel are left reeling from your boyfriend's discovery. (a direct sequel to prove it) | Cat has a way with words and emotions pulling you into her works.

SERIES:

I'm In A State (Prequel) | In My Hometown by @swiftispunk >> pre-outbreak!dbf!neighbour!Joel Miller x afab!fem!actor(ish)!Reader - Summary: The moment that sends you over the edge with your neighbour, Joel. | Perfect as always, Hannah. Thanks for making me giggle like a schoolgirl.

One For The Money, Two For The Show >> Rockstar!Joel Miller x Actress!Reader - Summary: When world-famous rockstar Joel Miller finds himself in some hot water with the press, his PR team suggests fake dating an up-and-coming actress to refine his image. However, when they actually start spending time together, the happy couple can’t stand each other. Will they be able to turn it around for the cameras, or will it all be for nothing? | Things are getting mighty steamy, just the way I like them. Feeling so blessed to be able to read this story.

To Polish Up A Diamond pt. i | >> @pedges >> Joel Miller x afab!reader - Summary: “We can get an annulment,” Joel says, cutting you off. It’s almost as if he couldn’t wait to say it, and you’re not sure why that stings so much. “Yeah—yes,” you mutter, swallowing the softball lodged in your throat. You clear it in hopes of sounding more compelling when you speak again. “Of course. Duh.” -- or, the one where you wake up married to Joel Miller. | This is such an emotional roller coaster, and we are only just beginning. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.

BLURBS/DRABBLES:

The Baking Lesson by @zablife >> John Shelby x f!reader - Summary: Gif Request - Sneak Preview: "C'mere gorgeous," John said, turning your chin toward him. "It can't be that bad. Just tell me," he coaxed with an encouraging smile. | John is very much my hero!

Sweetest of the Sunflowers by @peakyscillian >> Tommy Shelby x Reader - Summary: I picked the prompt “You're the best thing that's ever happened to me” for this one and also based it around the song 'Sun To Me' By Zach Bryan. | Moodboard is gorgeous, and I love how you can tell how much Tommy adores his fiance in this.

Pedro Pascal doesn't owe you anything... by @coulsons-band

Drama Actor Round Table: Pedro Pascal, Damson Idris, Kieran Culkin, Jeff Bridges, Evan Peters, and Michael Imperioli posted by @pedrohub

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sleepingdeath-light · 1 year ago

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celebrating valentine’s day hcs ; vincent (18+)

requested by ; anonymous (23/02/23)

fandom(s) ; five nights at freddy’s

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; vincent / fanon purple guy / old fnaf purple guy

outline ; “I hope this isn’t too weird of a request but, I see you know FNAF fandom!

I’m am sure you probably know who Vincent is? Like the FNAF fandom’s purple guy? They have him his own personality and appearance and everything!

I was wondering if you knew of Vincent (which I guess you can cal him William afton since we now know that’s his name) and if so can I request headcanons of him and cis female reader for Valentine’s Day with a little bit of spicy at the end? It and be headcanon or whatever you want, really! I just don’t see many people writing for him nowadays.

(Also sorry people keep spamming you with same requests, it’s been happening with other writers here lately and I feel your pain 🥲)”

warning(s) ; a bit of spicy content — rated smutty as it references sex acts

note ; as vincent is his own distinct character to william i have separated them in my masterlist and this piece is focussing on vincent specifically

note 2 ; yes this is massively late and out of season, but hush!

valentine’s day started later in the day for the two of you — with vincent not getting home until well after 8am (working until 6 and then doing god knows what until 8)

you slept in until midday, slowly waking up in stages between 12 and 1 — alternating between muttering nonsense and doing lazy, half-asleep sexual stuff (sex, oral, etc.)

then once the two of you had come to terms with being awake — you first, vincent doesn’t wake easy — you resigned yourselves with getting up and went about your routine

brushing your teeth, having a quick shower (and shower sex followed by another actual shower because vincent can’t help himself), getting dressed in fresh pyjamas and going downstairs to make breakfast

you had the usual staples (all sorts of toast, pancakes, waffles, fruit and so on) — which you took care of as your boyfriend is a terrible cook — and you exchanged your cards whilst you ate

snorting over the terrible jokes vincent wrote in his, rolling your eyes at his endless innuendos and raising an eyebrow at the small smear of blood on the envelope — to which he shrugged dismissively, mentioning something about having to get it after his shift and a paper cut

he insisted on reading your card out loud, using dramatic gestures and silly voices to mock you as you hushed him — before he finished, took another sip of his hot coffee, pecked you on the lip and thanked you

then he washed up and you fetched the presents, which you opened in the living room with the news on in the background (at vincent’s suggestion, for some reason)

you tire open layer after layer of wrapping paper and cut upon wonky cardboard boxes until each of you got to your presents

for you, vincent got you a bottle of your favourite perfume, a bouquet of paper flowers and a small bear with embroidery related to an inside joke (it wasn’t a commission he just stumbled across it — he does not have the money for that)

and vincent, in return, received the new jacket he’d been eyeing up for months and a handmade collection of ‘vouchers’ for various things he enjoys in the bedroom (no expiration date, of course)

the two of you so caught up in your gifts and the celebration that you didn’t catch the way his smile widened when a report of a new missing child came up on the tv — nor did you hear the report itself

and as he’d taken the day off for once, the two of you got to spend the better part of the afternoon and evening together — spending it as couples do

cooking together (read: him pestering you and getting in the way whilst you cooked)

dancing clumsily when your favourite song came on the radio

making out and going further on every surface you could until you were too exhausted to continue

not stopping until both of you were overstimulated and groggy and then you finally drifted off to sleep

until you’d had each other every way you could manage (anal, oral, vaginal, boob jobs, thigh jobs/thigh riding, fingering, hand jobs, etc. etc.)

until all you could do is pant and whimper and gasp

until you were both content with a holiday well spent

#sleepingdeath #female reader #fnaf x reader #fnaf vincent x reader #minors dni #minors fuck off #fnaf smut #smut hcs #smut #fnaf vincent smut

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sawtastic-sideblog · 1 year ago

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This is too fun to write and I am distracting myself from responsibilities. Honestly at this point it's a Crack fic but I am enjoying myself. Anyway enjoy.

*Adam Standheight sent a photo*

Mark: where the hell are you?

Mark: why are you with a horse?

Adam: I'm letting Will.I.Am live out hisbhorse girl fantasies.

John: that's a beautiful horse. Where are you two?

William: Adam insisted we go to Texas to see horses. I told him about the horse riding ranch place about 2 hours away from home. So we're in Texas.

Amanda: bring me something cool

Lawrence: is that why you wanted to borrow my car 3 days ago?

Mark: your car has been missing for 3 days and you haven't said anything.

Lawrence: it's Adam. I figured he just forgot where he parked it.

Adam: hey! I respect that

Adam: that's not the right word

John: resent is the word you're looking for.

Logan: I'm too lazy to read to catch up so why is there a selfie of Adam, William, and Sarah Jessica Parker?

Amanda: shots fired

Adam: ducking got her!

Amanda: 🦆 🦆 🦆

Adam: shut up

William: we're at a ranch in Texas.

Logan: is that why it's been more peaceful around here? Other than Mark and Amanda bickering it's been quiet

Mark: almost peaceful

*Adam Standheight sent a photo*

Adam: look at my little horse girl go. ✨ M A G I C A L ✨

Amanda: majestic

Jill: bring me back a cowboy hat

Adam: pink and sparkly?

Jill: white. Get John a black one.

Adam: OKAY!

*William Emmerson sent a photo*

Logan: why does he look scared?

William: he's terrified of the horse 🐴

John: how do you send the cartoons?

William: the emojis? They pop up as recommendations in my predictive text thing

John: what?

Mark: I'll be home in 15 and show you

Adam: I rode a horse. I may have peed

Lawrence: what?

William: the horse snorted and it scared him. He actually pissed himself

Amanda: LMAOOOOOOOO

Mark: 😂 good job dumbass

Lawrence: oh my

Adam: Mark sent an emoji

Mark: I'm teaching John

*William Emmerson sent a video*

Adam: Will.I.Am! I thought we were bonding

William: we are but this was too good not to share.

John: 🤣🤣🤣

Amanda: Mark showed you emojis. How do you know what they are?

Mark: Angela.

Adam: I am hurt and disgusted.

William: I'm sorry Adam. What if I get you IHOP?

Adam: we're in the south Will. We're going tona waffle house. I hear they're built different down here

William: okay but you have to shower first

Adam: deal.

John: 👍👍👍

Mark: I can't believe you pissed your pants

Adam: 🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

Amanda: that is a wall of emoji

John: 🚮 what a neat little man. He say to throw trash away

Adam: time to throw me out then

Mark: agreed

Amanda: okay

Logan: done

Lawrence: you'll be someone's treasure

Adam: ouch

William: he's my treasure. Living his own horse girl dreams

Adam: we're going to the botanical gardens in every state we drive through now so I can live my garden whore dreams

John: 👍👍👍

#saw 2004 #saw franchise #adam stanheight #lawrence gordon #leigh whannell #amanda young #john kramer #mark hoffman #saw fanfic #tobin bell

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crunchchute · 11 months ago

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need to know when exactly hw2 is taking place so that i can work it into my headcanons cause right now its just not fitting at all. a lot of "..unless?" but i wont know until i get the timeline (more under cut i guess. spoiler territory ahead 🚨🚨)

also i had 6 hours of copium for my sleeptime. if youre a hater just take this as if i was pulling this out of my ass, unless you agree, in which case youre welcome to comment or. nod in agreement.

so how does this help wanted economy affect the fazcoin?

but no for real now. to preface im very forgetful when it comes to fnaf lore and i sometimes miss some plot points and many times they affect my headcanons (once i remember them) but i cant check everything. im just forming my own little timeline with my own ideas i guess, but i still want it to be canon adjacent So!

i believed that its taking place post SB, pre Ruin. which i was super happy with as i was worried it would be pre-SB and not give enough lore that i crave. however, just as ive seen some people say, this didnt help with the lore much, and it just got more confusing for me. still a fantastic game but from a lore point it doesnt give us anything too big or a conclusion (well. maybe one) i also saw people say its post ruin, which i dont agree with but i would agree with during ruin. (when ppl say cassie is the player, i dont think so, need more arguments) its unclear once people bring in other arguments than the obvious roxy's mask or the state of the pizzaplex. but basically as an afton believer its hard for me to work around this, but i will try. never back down never what?

so my hc is iykyk, scraptrap->man in the room->ghost/amalgamation->latching onto tech and the mimic in the form of glitch and burntrap->mimic "shedding" him->wills ghost forming mxes; it also works without the frights books but the afton amalgamation and everything around it is too cool to not use. i fucking love ruinborn afton graaaaah *tears shirt apart* i also liked the idea of his spirit shattering and a piece of it forming glitchtrap for years, and i believe it can coexist with mimic, i think burntrap was real and is both mimic and afton.

now. this game. really messing it up for me as glitchtrap existing post or during burntrap just doesnt make sense, i dont want -trap multiples or something (sounds like the years old 2-3 purple guys theory lmao) but i will look into it as glitchtrap and mxes connection..? honestly, i really expected getting to see burntrap here (or at least mimic shown). was burntrap like retconned or something for real??? also still dont understand when people say burntrap isnt the mimic or whatever. no, it is, just with something a little extra on. and that extra is again, wills ghost or remnant or whatever you wanna call it, symbolized by the bonnie parts on his endo, but theres also flesh so yeah, as funny as it sounds i fuck with the afton homunculus growing over mimic theory. its stupid enough, he would do it.

but i wanna focus on mxes, i knew we wouldnt see the entity in the game, didnt expect it. but i also didnt expect the system to show up, which it did, but obviously not the entity yet as i believe they were formed only after burntrap has been "scooped" by tangle (comparing the scooper mimic ending and the burntrap one as a parallel) i just dont understand how glitchtrap is in here. thats the thing i cant figure out! this is 100% post SB so at that point glitchtrap is just gone. how did we get him back now? only ends up with me reaching with like MEGA SPOILERS the vanny ending crushing glitchtrap being a metaphor of her locking away or deleting the code. extreme reaching would be stuffing it into the mxes system where glitch would turn into the entity. but thats way too loose, but ive seen many people call the mxes entity glitchtrap, which doesnt even work with their theory that glitchtrap is mimic, because the entity is obviously not the mimic. like you have to consider this too, not just mimicmimicmimic but then agree that a glitchy rabbit is similar to another glitchy rabbit

lost my thread of thought. and thought of how this all is just, an end to glitchtrap era and only mimic in the future. well.. without an evil rabbit, fnaf will lose its charm for me, i dont know if vanny!cassie would save it for me, i only want wiwi. more wiwi, no mimi *starts glowing red and then explodes* anyway its not that bad. as long as i get to see the mxes entity again i will be good. and as long as im right about the clickteam game, i will be happy :D

also im intrigued by the fallfest showing up again, i really want to see how the maps look and look at all the details.. but in general the area is either underneath or next to the pizzaplex, the body of water in curse of dreadbear imo is the same as the underground water in ruin and hw2 to me confirmed that it truly is all in one place (goes nowhere with this). i love how the hw2 hub is in the pizzasim building. also, another thing, need to check it out again but i want to see if scrap baby is in a vr level or reality so i can theorize about scraptrap, as in, if at least tangle and scrap baby are still around and real in the plex, it would make sense for scraptrap to not show up because he has gone through digitization /j you know the whole pipeline. and so on and so forth

anyway im gonna pet my dogs and maybe read tse and then get back to hw2 in the afternoon. just getting this out of the system and my brain

#i love how when i write these thoughts my english just devolves into a 7yo writing an essay #but yeah. im like 7 and im writing about my favorite character :]#sorry i never have better words or think of better sentences i just translate my thoughts. bare minimum #crunching #gave up on writing more actually. would be longer but im facing reality 😔#i also accept counter arguments if youre civil #but id rather just stay in my daydream and think that bnuyy wiwi :]#thatse it #waffling about william 2 #<- will use this tag to find my rants later and laugh and lmao at them because i always get shit wrong in these #the one i did about the fnaf movie and my expectations for it was hilarious to look back at. what a naive little guy #wrote this in like an hour. maybe two. time well spent (lie)#long post

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officermaddie23 · 7 months ago

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So this is what happens when Moon is alone

Moon (drops a canister of remnant he stole from William Afton): HOT BELGIN WAFFLES *notices that sun is not around to hear his foul mouth* Wait a minute sun is not around I can swear for real SON OF A

Vanessa: *covers Gregory's ears*

Maddie Drachenfire (quickly turns off the tape): I have only 2 words to say about this blame Terrance

#fnaf security breach #not alone after all #fnaf moon #fnaf vanessa #fnaf gregory #maddie drachenfire

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thesinglesjukebox · 1 year ago

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TYLA - "WATER"

youtube

We conclude our 2023 pop highlights reel with a true highlight for us. Stay tuned next week for our individual writers' picks!

[8.12]

Crystal Leww: Amapiano has felt like a vital part of dance music education for a while now -- Ballantine's was sponsoring Boiler Room shows in South Africa back in 2018, Major League DJz collabed with Major Lazer, Uncle Waffles is playing mega EDM clubs like Brooklyn Mirage, and you can catch regular amapiano club nights in East Asia. It might seem surprising that this house subgenre has inspired so many people to party to it, with its lower BPM and jazzy feeling, but amapiano shows are energy -- all about that feeling of locking in a groove all night. Tyla's "Water" is the genre's first true pop moment, and it captures the je nais se quoi of the dance music subgenre incredibly well -- it's actually sexy. It feels like sweat on sweat, bodies bouncing against each other, hands gripping waists, hips swaying, a private moment in a very public place. That feeling, combined with a killer vocal hook, makes "Water" easy to like even as it approaches peak saturation. [7]

Leah Isobel: "Fuck me so hard I can't walk straight"? Boring. "Fuck me so hard I literally transmute into the source of life"? Now we're talking. [8]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: The most transformative quote I read this year was from Canadian filmmaker Ellie Epp: "Receiving a touch is as active as giving it -- sometimes more active, more skilled and more consequential. Erotic attention isn't an empty bowl touch is poured or pushed into; it is more like a living antenna with a million fibers actively searching the space of the touch for its shape and meaning." "Water" puts that idea into a song. Never the amapiano purist, Tyla has taken the genre's log drum loops and flagellating synths and placed them into the framework of Westernized R&B. And yet, this has the spirit of a longform, South African dance track because of her smooth vocals -- they ensure it remains undemanding but seductive. The chorus is one of the year's most celebratory: a group chant extolling the desire to feel desire. [9]

Michelle Myers: Tyla performs yearning with expert sensuality. Piano keys flutter around her like songbirds around a sad, horny Disney princess. [7]

David Moore: At the beginning of the year, I had a moment of clarity -- Rihanna needs to make an amapiano album. Then the thought faded, because (1) that's not really how amapiano works, the idea of having an R&B personality commanding the groove doesn't really let you groove; (2) that's not really how Rihanna works, it is a mistake to even think of Rihanna as a pop star in 2023; and (3) god, it could be so fucking awful, couldn't it, GET A JOB, etc. But Tyla stepped up to the plate, subsuming amapiano elements in the service of her performance at the center of an R&B song, but keeping amapiano's spiritual sense that every song is perpetually in media res; a song could start anywhere and go anywhere (or nowhere) and in some sense never end. Water is the perfect image, too: more fluid than the glassy surfaces of Naija pop and Afrobeats, but less opaque than amapiano's immersive haze. The song is pitched as sexy, which it sort of is, but there's a serenity in it, some cosmic comfort in knowing that someone's really figured it out, that this is exactly what it's supposed to sound like on those rare occasions you turn the radio on. [9]

William John: Initially, "Water" seemed innocuous compared to the frenetic, Tricky Stewart-assisted "Been Thinking", or the colossal amapiano classic "Getting Late"; it didn't scream "breakthrough" to me. I quickly came to understand that its popularity with butt-shaking TikTokers and the general public alike was more than warranted, the hook and irresistible drum roll burrowing its way into every one of my brain's recesses. [8]

Katherine St Asaph: Most of "Water" is so perfectly crystalline and intimate, such a rarefied fount of sound, that the loud singalong chorus is like a rock in the flow of the stream, breaking the spell a little. But only a little. [8]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: Tyla's voice is so diaphanous and airy, it's a shame that the hook is drowned out by an unnecessary chorus. (Don't get me started on the Travis Scott remix.) [6]

Brad Shoup: I love the chorus as much for what it says--I'm not sure sweating has even sounded so effortless--as for its, well, choral quality. It's like spiritual jazz nestled in lovers rock. [8]

Frank Falisi: There's so much to celebrate in the slip, wash, and sway of "Water." There's the way it mixes the insistence of beat with melty gobs of just-kissed electric piano, something driving the body, something touching it surprised. There's the way it waves the drone of a heartthrob at the perfect form of a pop song, wanting to please, pleasing to want. There's so much that I'll just say: the half-second delay in the chorus--between "make me" and then "sweat," "holler," "lose," and especially "water"... it makes me feel in love, and at ease in not having love, but finding its symbols and acolytes in the changes of a song, a little wait, a little get. [9]

Kayla Beardslee: This is actually my least favorite of Tyla's singles in the past year ("Been Thinking"? An incredible star-making slay. "To Last"? Gorgeous. "Girl Next Door" with Ayra Starr? Two of my favorite rising pop artists coming together for a lovely collaboration.) But "least favorite" is just a technicality in the face of strong competition, and "Water" still drips with charisma, promise, and a killer hook. I only wish I hadn't found out that Tyla was touring with Chris Brown earlier this year. [7]

Ian Mathers: This is a great performance and a heck of a debut, but the thing my ear keeps focusing on and what has me nodding my head are (what a very confused "what is this called?" search informs me are) the rim clicks running throughout "Water." Really it's the way those dry little sounds propel and work against the grain of the rest of the song, rather than one isolated element, but that's what I keep going back to here. [8]

Alfred Soto: The rim clicks act as foundation and another harmonic element next to which the clarity of Tyla's voice can shine -- and these happen before the choir. [8]

Michael Hong: One of the many striking features of "Water" is how solid it feels. Tyla's verses and its beat prove to be malleable, yet the chorus is made up of dense layers. "Make me water," she demands, sexy, only because it's a challenge. [8]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: A perfect groove, but more than that, too. Tyla's vocal sashays around the pulses of the beat, drawing up into an exquisite lift as she sings "can you blow my mind" -- like many of her lines here it's at once a question, an exhortation, and a challenge. Like, can you blow her mind? For the length of "Water," Tyla sounds utterly implacable, a singer with such intimate knowledge of her own skills and the affordances of the beat that it reads as something supernatural. Let me live forever in the spaces of this song. [10]

Nortey Dowuona: The power of amapiano is that it feels light and nimble in the drum programming, gently twirling below whatever is going on the song and allowing you to melt into the mood and spin along to the rhythm. At every stage of its ride to worldwide popularity, it's become gentler and softer, until the heavy logdrum bass hammers down, rippling the tranquility and reminding you of the tempest below. That dissonance is what makes it exciting and engaging, but the fun part of "Water" is that it keeps that tempest at bay, allowing anyone to wade into it. Tyla is a graduate of the Aaliyah/Rihanna light key school, a lilting soprano that comfortably soars into her highest range and stabilizes at her lowest, opening the first verse on a proud, firm step and settling into it. Each run into the precious prechorus is poised, capable and stunning. And whenever the familiar logdrum pattern does erupt, Tyla dances nimbly away, her voice light yet stable enough to not be overpowered, fluid and ever-changing and so fundamental it can't be separated without killing the song altogether. Just like water. [10]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox ]

#tyla #music #amapiano #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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pocketbelt · 4 months ago

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Girls’ Frontline: The Summer Garden of Forking Paths (iOS)

They said Longitudinal Strain was the start of the final set of events and then divided one, "Chapter 15" into multiple parts. It’d be funny if it weren’t so fucking terrible.

You know what this fucking multi-train pileup crash of a plot needed? Our fifth or sixth asshole scientist attempting to achieve immortality/resurrection/transhumanism/the divine cybermancy through the medium of allegedly special T-Dolls and making vague allusions to the "Relics", those things that haven’t fucking mattered for years and we never got any real insight into and more exist as fan-wiki blurbs and side content fluff than plot points. This scientist is the one brought up for the main character Erma in a past event, so I guess we needed to know that he was also another asshole making super-special Dolls and magic cyberworlds that matter to no-one and nothing outside of those Dolls.

The last major event ended with a dark twist and also with the Commander’s legion shitstomping Paradeus at their base and finally, finally capturing the mysterious William (asshole scientist attempting to achieve etc #2, maybe #3, hey remember the scientists who made the AR Team? Damn they really fucking mattered, huh?). This event opens with that dark twist having apparently already been dispensed with in a fashion that makes me think I somehow missed an entire fucking event (I haven’t checked, as I don’t even know where to) and discarded casually.

The Commander then goes to talk to William face-to-face for the first time and instantly, fucking instantaneously frame fucking 1, the Commander’s fancy mobile base is superhacked in under a nanosecond, all the Dolls are auto-KO’d and in the downtime the Commander, Dandelion and William are abducted/removed from the base so completely flawlessly that the literal special bindings keeping William arrested are still done, so he was literally magicked out of them or the kidnapper/rescuer thought to redo them for showmanship. Because the POV character actually doing anything, or achieving anything, or us getting to actually see this man they’ve been hyping up for 3-4 years, that would be dumb and bad and fucking stupid, what you need is another pointless event loaded with endless fucking waffling and stupid faux-symbolic guff that ends with a character, who once already sacrificed herself in a past event, sacrificing herself again to allegedly do something important.

Said something was never established or indicated as being a thing before now but it’s done so there.

There’s so many fucking misses predicated on you being invested in or giving a remote shit about the recent events, but they’re all mostly such writing disasters that I can’t understand how anyone is. I don’t really know why the Commander is so cut up over [ROT13] Natr orvat qrnq because I don’t remember them ever actually being all that close, or even friends. That character mostly just did her own thing, usually incompetently, and showed up to talk in riddles or scream at them.

GFL2 now has an active official English twitter account which recently began posting character bios and setting details, and promoting a concert over the summer; the global release is impending, likely in the last months of this year or the first quarter of 2025. I do await it, in the hopes that GFL2 is where all the real writing focus went, and also that the clean break and functional restart makes the writers cut most of the rat’s nest of pointless threads and details and guff out, letting them start fresh with renewed character focus and a different, clearer and more coherent goal. At least, I fucking hope so, and if not at least the character models are hot and the game looks fun.

#pocket-media-tag #oh yeah there’s a throwaway line saying that the interesting gang of black marketeer Dolls from LS are just fakes of a real person #which is a good summation of an issue I have with GFL’s writing #which is: who cares? Why did you write that? Was there a point to it? If there’s going to be it would surely be more than a throwaway line

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revvnant · 1 year ago

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expanding a little on this and how i see their relationship in general, i'm sorry to michael stans who support him siding with henry before everything went wrong, but i prefer to think he sided with william. i know that it makes for interesting tension if michael and henry were of a mind, both in it causing emotional strife for william that his son is choosing his friend-turned-ex-business-partner over him, and in setting up for ps. however, i prefer to think of it less as a 2 v 1 and more as a 1 v 1 v 1, and due to the above hangups regarding evan's death, i don't think michael was close enough with henry ( or henry thought well enough of michael ) to throw in with him during the Pizza Divorce of 87. like... this is in part because i position henry narratively as your Average Midwestern Guy, reflecting commonly-held ideas of the time, and i've got a rant about henry as passive-complicit on this blog somewhere; i.e. he isn't one to rock the boat by trying to get michael removed from william's care, especially not after he loses charlotte and sinks into his own shit.

but also michael is codependent with william and only he gets to bite him. henry is like 'i think you're running the business poorly' and michael bursts into the room to take the Afton Family Side. there is tragedy in being a team-playing fool. going against william also would have put him in the line of fire. i mean, he's not stupid enough to openly oppose his father in an ongoing conflict when said father controls his finances and lives in close proximity to him. better to take william's side and bolster their sense of familial camaraderie using henry for triangulation. this also means henry has further cause not to trust michael with his plans in ps. remember when i said maybe we should call osha and you speedwalked over to me and called me an ugly little snitch. and michael didn't even disagree with him he just did that because his family was getting smaller and smaller and he needed to feel like there was some sort of coherence.

in their own ways they both contributed to william being able to keep doing what he was doing. the idea of henry trying to push back and take more control of the company after waffling for way too long, only for michael, who fundamentally agrees with him, to oppose him just because he's emotionally fragile and defensive and needs the person in control of his life to like him, is so juicy to me. like william is a fucking black hole and they're all made worse for being around him. every method of survival when you're under his thumb is either self-destructive, harmful to others, or both. also i like it when mike sucks arbitrarily. he didn't need to insert himself into a two person conversation to hype william up so their family could keep majority rights to freddy's. nobody asked for his opinion. but he did it anyways and it blew up in all of their faces. and william didn't even win that court case 😔

i think henry hates or at the very least has complicated negative feelings towards michael but instead of focusing on the lobotomy i'd like to cite my two other reasons for the court.

he looks like the fucking hatman. every time henry looks at him he sees his sleep paralysis demon. he's like oh that's approximately the last thing my daughter saw and white knuckles his clipboard. this is involuntary and he probably knows it's wrong but he can't help it and can we blame him. if i saw the facetwin of my child's murderer my hands would move before my brain could catch up i'd lay them out flat then have to apologise.

michael committed fratricide in henry's prized fursuit, rendering it unusable for all the grey matter that got splattered around the inside of the mouth. absolutely traumatising. his fursona forced to pop that child's head like une watermelon. in front of god and everyone. literally the killer like he has very tangible proof that michael is serial killer coded before you factor the body and the blood.

#w3. headcanons #|| I LIKE WHEN EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN MOTIVATION AND THEY JUST HAVE TO DUKE IT OUT.#|| SIRI PLAY THE RIDDLE.#|| bc fell off but the funniest part was when mike calls henry like.#|| i think my father killed people!!!#|| AND HENRY IMMEDIATELY ABANDONS HIM TO THE ABUSIVE SERIAL KILLER TO GO DO. SOMETHING.#|| IDK THEY NEVER EXPLAINED THAT. HE JUST FUCKED OFF.#|| HERE'S SOME MONEY. GOOD LUCK.#|| BRUH GO TO THE POLICE.#|| anyways i take nothing at all from bc obviously (re: all of the above)#|| except elizabeth who slapped #|| but that was so fucking funny. BYE MIKEY.

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s1utspeare · 3 years ago

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SLUTSPEARE PROUDLY PRESENTS............. THE WILLIAM WATCHLIST

brought to you by the WCU (William Cinematic Universe)

a.k.a. i'm watching william chan's filmography so you don't have to

will be updated once new william things come out! also i will not finish all of the shows on this list bc William has a........... questionable history (but i love him), so for shows i have seen at least three (3) episodes, even if I haven’t finished them fully.

THE ONLY FILM I WAS UNABLE TO FIND A COPY OF was Ex (2010), which makes me really sad. I looked for AGES and couldn't even find a DVD version (I had to get Beauty on Duty, Hi Fidelity, and Lost in Wrestling on DVD). I found a super grainy one with Indonesian subs, but that was all, so if anyone has a link to Eng subs, let me know! I also could not find Extinguished (2018), but that's a minute-long short film so I don't feel as bad.

very special thanks to @jockvillagersonly and @psychic-waffles, who not only let me liveblog these films to them, but also partook in some of them with me. i love you both and hate that we did this.

anyway! in order of creation year:

Overheard (2007)

Baby’s first movie!!!! Awwww!!! This one was a pretty good one tbh, and for William’s first acting role he actually got a fairly big part! I was very proud of him and also squealed every time he was onscreen bc he was really cute

The basic premise is that a team of cops are listening in on this rich dude’s life to see if he’s embezzling, and they overhear him say that there’s gonna be a big rise in the stock market. Three of the team really need money, so they essentially put all of their savings into this stock, and then the market crashes, so they have to figure out how to get their money back, which embroils them in some sketchy shit

William is a baby detective!! He’s also cheating with one of the detective’s girlfriends lmao. My favorite part was that he fell asleep at a table and some dudes stole his key card to break into the server room and his boss was just like “again bitch?” And William was just like 🥺

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. Pretty decent action film, and while I didn’t like the ending, it was a good movie overall.

WILLIAM RATING: 7/10 off to a strong start babes!! He was adorable in this and I love him to death

Trick or Cheat (2009)

There is........... quite a lot happening in this movie. Basically, a 24-year-old William is playing a thirteen year-old William who is the head of a middle school dance team, and all of his team members are dumb as fuck. so the principal is like “WILLIAM AND HIT CANTOPOP STAR GEM!!!! YOU MUST MAKE SURE YOUR TEAM GETS As ON THE HIGH SCHOOL ENTRANCE EXAMS OR YOU CAN’T DO YOUR END-OF-YEAR PERFORMANCE” and william and GEM are like “fuck that” and the team is like “are you going to help us study” and they’re like “no we’re going to help you cheat” and then they do

the cheating involves secret radios, farting in morse code and gassing the test building, and being possessed by foreigners including a recently-deceased (at the time) Heath Ledger, and I am honestly not sure if that is Rude or not. That’s not even most of the movie though, bc most of the movie is halfway-almost-not-quite gay, including a semi-accurate lesbian love confession that turns into a surprise incest plot at the end.

also they do a musical about garbage and william plays a battery that has a very dramatic two-minute break-dancing solo and then dies

OVERALL RATING: 4/10. the story is bananas, the humor is pretty middle school, and it really just has no follow through on like any of it. also the acting is........... there’s only one really convincing acting scene and its when the dude gets possessed by heath ledger

WILLIAM RATING: honestly like a 4/10. they gave him basically no lines bc he had to practice his battery dance too hard, but he was there (and taller than everybody else) for most of it. mans could not keep a straight face tho

Seven 2 One (2009)

after the disaster that was Trick or Cheat, i wasn’t expecting a whole lot from William’s other big 2009 hit, but I was delightfully surprised by Seven 2 One actually! It follows the story of seven different people’s whose lives are all fundamentally altered in one moment, and the movie flashes back on their histories so that we can see how they all ended up there.

It’s not the most original premise, but it was well-written, and the twists were just enough that it was interesting to see how the lives of each of the people were woven into one another. also there are some lesbians that scam everyone and it’s great. william is homophobic and then dies. love wins

OVERALL RATING: I’d actually give this one a 7/10! While it wasn’t the most original storyline and didn’t have super endearing characters, I was entertained enough and invested in seeing how we got to the One that I was pretty caught up in the whole thing

WILLIAM RATING: 5/10. He’s only in it at the very beginning and at the end, but he’s sort of a lynchpin for the entire plot. Also he makes some good faces, and the lesbians call him cringe, so that’s nice.

G-Force (2009)

YEAH HERE’S A FUCKING BIT OF FORBIDDEN WILLIAM LORE FOR YOU. THIS BITCH VOICED DARWIN IN THE CANTONESE DUB OF G-FORCE. HE’S A FUCKING GUINEA PIG. THAT DOES SECRET AGENT SHIT. TECHNICALLY AN ACTION HERO ROLE. BUT HE’S THE VOICE OF A GUINEA PIG. I’M LITERALLY FUCKING SCREAMING. THIS IS THE WORST THING I’VE EVER KNOWN IN MY LIFE AND NOW YOU ALL HAVE TO KNOW IT TOO. I’M NOT SORRY.

Guinea pigs are secret agents and keep a bad dude from blowing up the planet. That’s it. I watched this movie in theatres when it came out and now i’m watching it again bc william is a fucking guinea pig. what has my life come to.

OVERALL RATING: idek man. it’s guinea pig secret agents. 5/10? it’s fine, it’s silly.

WILLIAM RATING: he makes some weird fucking noises in this. i love him. 3/10 because i don’t get to see his face.

Beauty on Duty (2010)

It’s a Miss Congeniality knock-off! except the Sandra Bullock character (Sandra Ng) didn’t actually enter the pageant, but she was super cool anyway and I love her. Once again I don’t know who was writing this movie, but i’m starting to suspect that it was like. monkeys with typewriters.

you get the gist. the police need a guy to testify in court, but he’ll only do it if they provide protection for his daughter, June, who is a beauty pageant contestant. Ai Fang, the newest cop in the force, is pretty and kickass, so they put her undercover so that she can guard June. Along the way, she meets Jerry (WILLIAM) and has to take down all of the bad guys trying to get June while not blowing her cover as a fake pageant contestant.

tbh the funniest part of this movie was that for Jerry/William’s posters, they just used his “Will Power” album cover, so it had “William Chan” written on it. Like fam. You couldn’t do the minimum amount of photoshop?? i’m disappointed. the rest of the characters were very fun though, even if there was a lot of nonsense happening the entire time.

OVERALL RATING: 3/10. Miss Congeniality is definitely the better version of this, but it was fun and silly. My favorite part were the two undercover operatives. they got fucked by crocodiles when they were dressed up as crocodiles.

WILLIAM RATING: 3/10. Ok he really played the role of a superstar well bc I nearly swooned every time I saw him but like??? why was he there??? he didn’t do anything.

Split Second Murders (2010)

ok the only version of this i could find was a thai dub so I???? did not understand what was going on at all. but from the imdb it’s about this comic book artist named Luk whose editor wants his comics to be more violent and Luk is like “uhhhhh” and then he goes and sees violence in the real world cause people are mad at each other or something. again it was in thai i only know the particles and how to say i love you and also my thai nickname that my roommate gave me.

william shows up like halfway through the movie and plays a really intense game of mahjong that he wins I think??? then he pulls a bottle of coca cola out of nowhere and lights himself on fire at a wedding.

yeah.

OVERALL RATING: N/A because i could not understand what was happening, but it seemed silly!

WILLIAM RATING: 3/10. His hair looks dumb as fuck and he’s wAY too intense about mahjong. points bc his character apparently teaches babies ballet for a living so we get to see him in ballet slippers which is great

Lover’s Discourse (2010)

This movie was SO GOOD?? I’m definitely finding this pattern in Hong Kong art films where they do like, interconnecting stories and slice-of-life but of different lives?? Sometimes it’s a hit or miss but Lover’s Discourse was DEFINITELY a hit.

Basically this movie is four different love stories; one of two childhood best friends who missed their chance, one about a laundress who falls in love with the idea of one of her customers, one about a kid who’s in love with his friend’s mom and exposes her husband for cheating, and one about two other couples who are in conflict (I can’t tell you the full synopsis bc it’s a spoiler but it FUCKED ME UP). William is the kid who’s in love with his friend’s mom and it’s honestly sort of creepy bc he like, stalks her??? And ruins her marriage?? But he’s also very obviously like seventeen and doesn’t know what he’s doing so it’s like??? Idk it made me very uncomfortable overall it was like “boy you need to STOP”

The rest of the movie though was SO GOOD. like there were very few lines and not a lot of action, but everything was very quiet and simple and read through the body language and acting choices and DAMN LIKE??? In the first part the childhood friends almost-kissed-not-quite and it was so full of longing and yearning and missed chances and it was SO GOOD??? And in the second part they do a spoof of the cdrama trope where the girl transfers energy into the guy to save his life, and in that part the guy is a mannequin of the actor to show that the girl’s fantasized man isn’t his real self, but anyway when they do the qi transfer thing the mannequin spews fake blood and it was SO FUCKING FUNNY. So yeah. Honestly this is a really really good movie even tho William’s a weirdo in it

OVERALL RATING: 10/10. I loved this movie. I would recommend it to anyone who likes soft films and complicated love stories.

WILLIAM RATING: 7/10. He’s GOOD in this role. He’s so confused and is just trying to be……. Something idk. he's creepy as hell, but a good 2010 William

All About Love (2010)

This was the cutest fucking movie i have ever seen in my entire life. everything about it was perfect. it was so soft and gentle and QUEER???? SO FULL OF QUEER LOVE??? i want to die i love it so much it's so so good

basically, Anita and Macy were lovers in school, but they drifted apart after they graduated and Macy went traveling. They meet again in a support group after both getting pregnant, fall instantly back in love, and have to try and figure out what they're going to do with each other, their babies, and the men who fathered the children. basically, they end up in a giant polycule with another lesbian couple and the two dads, and they all live happily ever after. i want to write so much fanfiction about them.

and okay. if I didn't love william so much already I would love him so much now. he is the absolute sweetest in this movie. he's nineteen and an idiot. he meets anita on a dating app and tries to act cool but then cums fifteen seconds into having sex and is so embarrassed he cries about it. he just wants to do his best and be friends with Anita and he cares for her so much???? when he finds out he's going to be a dad he cries about it?? and then cries when the baby is born??? also he does tarot readings on himself and is clumsy as hell and the most adorable man i've ever seen on this planet. he's so so good and he truly deserves his four girlfriends and boyfriend.

OVERALL RATING: 10/10. My heart was squeezed out of my chest with joy. I cannot believe they ended up in a canon polycule and that these two babies get to live in a house so full of love

WILLIAM RATING: 10/10 he's the fucking sweetest. I want to hug and kiss him forever. he's a complete idiot but he's so loveable. he becomes a feminist and also falls asleep on stairs. i would die for him.

Hi, Fidelity (2011)

I really don’t know what i was expecting from this movie but SHIT it was not what I got. like i knew that william was going to be a prostitute, but i didn’t know that he was also going to be gay AND have an evil twin AND be stupid AND act like the joker. Like??? what was going on in this script honestly

ok so the story follows these rich women (Alice, Jojo, Sevon, and Pinky) who are unsatisfied in their sex lives, so they decide to go to this brothel to get some action. this brothel has a dude named bill who is a sex god and can eat pussy at an astounding rate. turns out! this is because he has a younger brother named ben who looks exactly like him, so they tag team it so that they can be the Best Motherfucker Who Ever Fucked. Anyway, ben falls in love with alice, bill is actually gay, and all the women’s husbands eventually find out except for Sevon who had a lesbian crush on Alice the entire time.

honestly i should really have figured out that this movie was going to be absolute insanity when william fully pulled out his dick thirty seconds in and jacked off as his audition to work in the brothel. if that hadn’t done it, him going to jail for stealing a butterball turkey should have.

TRIGGER WARNING: i haven’t actually had to do this with any william movies so far but this does feature some non-consensual sex scenes. They aren’t super graphic, but I would advise keeping that in mind if you decide to watch this movie yourself.

OVERALL RATING: 6/10, mostly because I cannot believe anyone allowed this movie to be made. also they pulled off the biggest plot twist in the WCU, and I screamed.

WILLIAM RATING: 4/10 he’s fucking weird??? evil william is evil and stupid baby william is SO STUPID. the way that he distinguishes between the characters is that he makes stupid baby william stick his neck out SO far and also have no control over his limbs. i did love seeing him play a gay male sex worker though, bc that’s not a role you often see, so props to william for doing that.

Triad (2012)

so at first glance this movie poster is william, tits out, freshly whumped, and if you know anything about me, you know that’s a surefire way to get me to go “IM IN.” and it was for this one! i was so stoked about this movie and honestly it was only sort of a letdown, and that was only bc they tried to cram too many things in too fast, and it was all kind of rushed and confusing.

basic plotline is that william is a lil smarty pants who joins a gang so that he won’t get bullied anymore, but finds out that just being in a gang isn’t enough, so he attempts to garner as much power as he can with his two best friends, who have also joined the gang with him. as he gets deeper and deeper into the mafia life, he starts to lose himself in the power and struggle. it’s honestly super fun and full of action, even though it would have benefitted from more time? like this could have easily been a bomb-ass mini-series, and I would have watched the fuck out of it.

william is also??? so fucking cute??? he’s literally the most adorable and i want to kiss his face. also this was like one of his breakout roles and I can see why; our good bitch is acting!! there were several moments where i was like “oh damn he’s getting good!” bc he was really turning it up for this one.

the biggest critique i have is that they very clearly did not hire a composer for the background music and instead just remixed this one willy song like seven separate times. every single time there was a dramatic scene they played a different remix of this same song, and by the end i actually wanted to end my life over it. pls.

OVERALL RATING: 6.5/10. There was quite a bit to be desired with the pacing, but the plot was fun and it clicked along super well! i also loved like all of the main characters, even though we didn’t get to see a lot of them.

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10! this is my baby getting into it!! he does SUCH A GOOD JOB and he looks so good. minus some points because halfway through someone decided to do some shit with his hair that makes him look like an american dad and i honestly hated it.

Hardcore Comedy (2013)

I think this was trying to be like the Hong Kong version of Jackass? it was not good. yet another interlocking stories film, but this one was just gross.

the first story was about two guys who just really wanted to fuck so they objectify women and then go on a police chase? idk there was way too much gross stuff going on so I just skipped to william's part, which was called Run on Drugs. basically he gets kicked out by his girlfriend and has no money, so he's living in his hot pink car with his tortoise (he covers his tortoise with a tissue at night so it doesn't get cold cause he's a baby). his friend is like "hey deliver some drugs for me" and william's like "ok" and everyone keeps trying to get him to do drugs but he doesn't want to until he gets tricked into eating a pizza with the drugs on it and then he gets naked and also can't drive anymore

i'm very convinced that someone saw william attempting to drive this hot pink car in this film and was like "that's it, we're never letting this bitch behind the wheel again"

OVERALL RATING: 2/10. If your movie starts out by saying, "if you don't find this funny, you're stupid or a prude!" i'm gonna go ahead and guess that it's not actually a very funny movie

WILLIAM RATING: 4.5/10. He was adorable, as always, and did some very silly things. He did try to put a used condom on his hand like a glove cause he's literally stupid, and i was like "sir. please. this is unnecessary." I mean he was trying to break into the business so he had to do shit like that ig but still.

Sword of Legends (2014)

IT’S ACTUALLY SO CUTE ok so like once again william’s staring in a series based on a video game (he’s not in the second one tho rip wills) and li yifeng is the main character, which is very fun, and takes the total number of william/li yifeng shows up to three (technically). ying haoming is also in it which i didn’t know and he’s a BITCH. honestly i think it’s a very fun time but idk how interesting it is we’ll have to wait and see

THE PLOT so there was a gay dragon and a gay sitar and they fell in love and then Gay Sitar let the Gay Dragon go when he became evil so he got banished from heaven and then the humans put him in a sword. later on a kid got possessed by the sword and then his village got blown up and so he went to another clan who could help him suppress his evil sword powers but he’s only kind of good at that. meanwhile, a girl from another other clan is trying to find her gege who disappeared when Sword Boy got possessed, and it turns out that he turned evil i think??? Idk. meanwhile there’s another gay-ass dude who’s looking for medicine who looks suspiciously like Gay Sitar player. They’re gonna have to figure out how to get the evil sword energy out of sword boy probably or else the bad guys will kill everyone.

WILLIAM’S THE SHIXIONG!!!! i love him honestly. he’s trying so hard to do a good job and protect his shidi. he tries to master all the cultivation but keeps getting distracted by shit but like PLEASE he loves his shidi and trusts him and wants him to be safe and happy!!!! i literally love him!!! he’s so good! i’m so afraid something bad will happen to him pls don’t hurt william-gege pls :(

OVERALL RATING: 7/10 this one is actually going to make me keep watching, even if ying haoming is a bitch.

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10 sit on me shixiong.

Golden Brother (2014)

This movie was like? fine? idk it was pretty alright! nothing super special but also not bad. the WILDEST THING was that the actor they chose to play william’s brother (bosco wong) looks SO MUCH LIKE WILLIAM that half the time that i was like??? who is that?? bc i thought that he was willy every so often

the premise is that a guy named sit ho ching is a loser at home and a loser at work. he gets fired, breaks up with his girlfriend, and his brother (william) gets let out of prison, but just fights with their dad all the time. Ching has no money and wants to make money so that he can give himself and his family a better life, so he goes into the gold investing business where his brother works. He becomes very successful and then discovers that money can’t buy happiness rip in peace

william is a BIIIIIITTTTCCCHHH. he gets so angry for no reason. he’s very impulsive and silly but i think he’s trying his best? he tries to be angry at his brother for sending him to prison, but he’s not very good at that.

OVERALL RATING: 5/10. Very middle-of-the-line film. Very average. don’t really have any complaints, but nothing really astounding to say about it either

WILLIAM RATING: also a 5/10. He was sort of sidelined for his brother’s story, which fair, but i love him. my favorite part was this one scene where he ugly cries for literally ten seconds and then immediately locks it down and goes back to what he was doing. bitch ain’t got time for tears.

The Four (2015)

This show truly has it all, if by “it all” you mean the worst cgi and worst willy acting I have ever seen. Like. I could not even get through one episode. It was so bad. All of the buildings looked like they were modded in roblox and all the fight scenes look like someone took Snapchat stickers and made them fight.

I think the plot is essentially some bad dudes escape from jail and this squad of cool dudes has to stop them, and I’m pretty sure that’s basically it. 44 episodes of that nonsense.

And William? I hate him. Everytime he does a fight move he gives this stupid little smirk and it makes me want to kick his ass. I hope to god he gets his ass BEAT in this show bc frankly he deserves it. He does this breakdance spin and deflects one billion knives with his ass and then SMIRKS and I want to punch a wall.

OVERALL RATING: bro. Bro it’s so bad. 1.5/10 because at least it’s not Air Strike

WILLIAM RATING: 2/10 I hate him so much I want him to be put in a hole and buried alive

Legend of Zu Mountain (2015)

honestly what the fuck is this show. i have not understood a single moment of it since I began watching, and i doubt it’s going to get any better. it’s just???? so much is happening.

anyway willy is the chief of this village where he lives with his wife whomst he loves very much, but he ate a magic evil rock at some point when he was a baby and now every month he goes insane and destroys shit, but also he’s a himbo so the villagers let him stay cause they think he’s cute. anyway one day the Demonic Clan comes and burns down his village to try and get the Evil Rock out of him and then the Righteous Sect takes him so they can get the rock and they have to train him to fight his evil powers, and also his dad was the biggest slut imaginable and is evil now. william just wants to see his wife but they won’t let him see his wife!!! his wife may also be dead that was implied but not certain

uhhh this show is crazy. everyone is color-coordinated in like, gem tones?? which you don’t see often in fantasy chinese dramas so that was very fun. they all have colorful swords and can do magic but it doesn’t seem like any of them are very good at it. william’s best friend from Age of Legends showed up and was gay and stole william’s money and william just. let him. because he’s a dumbass. he really has no brain in this one and i think that’s great. man loves his wife and that’s all.

OVERALL RATING: uhhh like a 4/10. it was pretty fun! but also i did not understand a single fucking thing that happened in this plot who wrote this

WILLIAM RATING: honestly i think this is like my least favorite William and i don’t even know why?? 2/10. just doesn’t do it for me.

Legend of Fragrance (2015)

william’s getting cute and funky and fun! in this one william plays a lil forensic scientist from Japan who comes to this town that is headed by these rival perfume warlords?? and there’s a MURDER but anyway there’s also a girl who smells really really good but no one can KNOW THAT bc perfume warlord #1 will go crazy and kidnap her so his ex-wife adopted her and is keeping her safe while Smelly Girl’s dad kidnapped Willy and raised him as his own (these are not spoilers bc they are given to you in the first two episodes). also perfume warlord #2 has a fued with Willy/Smelly Girl’s dad and perfume warlord #1 had a crush on Smelly Girl’s mom bc she also smelled good and has a useless son who can’t smell so he is a disgrace to the perfume business (played by Wu Xie from TLT1). Also Huang Youming is in here for some reason and I love him

so far the plot is absolutely bonkers and there was SO MUCH BACKSTORY but it’s convoluted in a fun way? Like just enough so that i’m like “wow you guys are silly!” but not so much that I hate it, you know? Also it looks like william gets whumped a lot and i love that for me

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. Not quite enough to really hook me but it’s not bad! I give them points for creative insanity as well.

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10. William looks fine as fuck at all times, and also he changes his outfit like three times in the first episode he appears in, and it isn’t even different days. also he swordfights and shoots a gun and does science, and I think that’s very sexy of him

As the Lights Go Out (2015)

This movie fucked actually???? I did not expect too much from it because I was like “yeah ok firefighter drama w/e” but it was actually really really good?? At least if you like action/disaster films, which I do.

Anyway the plot follows Sen, the head of a firefighting squad, as his team gets called out to stop the explosion of a natural gas plant (which, because of capitalism, explodes anyway). Then they have to do search and rescue and get everyone out. Y’know, as search-and-rescue films go. William is a baby firefighter!! It is his first day on the job!! He is hyperactive and adorable and adopts everyone as his dad. I love him.

So yeah it was like two hours that I did not regret (tho when have I ever regretted spending time with william ((that is a falsehood I have definitely regretted spending time with william)).

OVERALL RATING: honestly 10/10 for me. the action was great and there was some really interesting cinematography going on, which I very much enjoyed!

WILLIAM RATING: 9.5/10. He wasn’t in the movie quite enough for full points but I LOVED his character and loved how he acted him. Bb boy was doing his best and I’m very proud. Also he looked so pretty the whole time

Lost In Wrestling (2015)

This is the insanest movie I have ever seen and I am not kidding about that. During this journey I have watched some insane movies but this has got to be the wildest and I am honestly not sure how I feel about it bc I am just too stunned to even comprehend how it exists

Naren is a female wrestler from the Mongolian plains and one day she’s invited to come wrestle in Japan, where a kid from her village, Chi Na Si, ran off to ten years ago to become a sumo wrestler. When she gets there she finds him but she also finds this weird clown dude who runs a female fight club. Naren joins the female fight club to???? Win wrestling???? I genuinely don’t know. Anyway turns out that Clown Dude is actually Chi Na Si, whose sumo wrestling trauma jokerified him. Naren is like “bro snap out of it” and bro snaps out of it and then they go back to Mongolia and Chi Na Si wins wrestling

Was there a coherent plot? Absolutely not. Did it make any sense? No. Was William playing the joker the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life? Yes yes yes yes yes.

OVERALL RATING: 4/10 for the absolute most unhinged thing I think I’ve ever seen.

WILLIAM RATING: 6/10. Despite knowing that william was the clown man from the very beginning, his mannerisms were so different that I genuinely couldn’t tell sometimes. Also he went all out in his jokerification and honestly I have to respect that

The Mystic Nine (2016)

okay i’m not just saying this because i’m a fo-ye slut, but this actually might be Top-Tier William. Mystic Nine follows commander Zhang Qishan and his bffs as they go and hunt down mystical artifacts and fight the japanese and also ward off this weird american dude who wants to live forever. it’s part of the dmbj-verse, but honestly you don’t need to know anything about the rest of the series to enjoy m9

and m9 is William at his Best. He’s sexy. he’s Active. His hair is Styled. He makes heart eyes at every single damn character and seems to be amassing them for a polycule. You think that he’s a stoic but really he’s a giant gummy bear and I want to smack him for it. This is truly a Wonderful Willy and he deserved to be commemorated in wax for this role.

like most dmbj series, sometimes the pacing is a little slow, but honestly all of the characters are so good and the action is interesting enough that you don’t mind. also zhang baby rishan is in there so that’s a bonus

OVERALL RATING: 9/10. Just a very solid and good show with quality plot, characters, and premise. I want season 2 right now immediately

WILLIAM RATING: 129438573948/10. This is my favorite william bc of just how multi-faceted he is. They gave him 48 episodes and he said “yes my good bitch” and i love that for me

L.O.R.D.: Legend of Ravaging Dynasties (2016)

Ok I keep saying that William’s a thot but he really was a whore for this one. This man wore the absolute sluttiest outfit in the whole franchise, and he looks like That so like. What am I supposed to do.

the LORD series is based off a video game I think?? Anyway this has like the same plot as Critical World which was interesting to me cause I didn’t know that. Anyway this bitch named Qi Ling gets kidnapped by a gay ass dude who is like “we’re soulbonded now” and then they go on gay adventures. Qi Ling has a Lion in his ass. It’s in his butt :)

Uhhhh like it’s half animated but William really went ham on this one. Everyone else us like doing normal facial expressions and this man is stretching his lips as far as they can go. Also I wonder if he had to wear that outfit in real life cause he would’ve loved that

OVERALL RATING: 6.5/10. I would much rather watch zhang mingen be a cutie than whatever this cgi shit was. Also I kinda fell in love with silver and then learned that that was Kr*s W* instead of him being Qi Ling like I thought so that’s disappointing

WILLIAM RATING: 4/10. I wish to GOD that this had been fully live action. I would pay to see William in his real life Duke Killing cosplay. He’s a slut and we love to see it

Love of Happiness (2016)

this show makes me irrationally angry because I want to live in domestic bliss with william chan as my husband. he's literally THE Perfect Man. he's so devoted to his wife and thinks she's the best and will do anything for her and he's so nice and smart and soft and!!!!!! i went insane.

The premise of this show is that Su Xiaonan and her husband, Kevin, move into a new house. Xiaonan is a screenwriter, and Kevin is a professor, and they move next door to a family who lost their son twenty-five years earlier. Kevin is an "orphan," and surprise! he's actually their long-lost kid. Who would have seen that one coming. Anyway, Xiaonan loved the fact that Kevin didn't have family to deal with, but now she has to deal with all of them and they're all crazy and they get into fights a lot, and Kevin has to come to terms with the fact that his parents didn't abandon him and also that he lost his childhood memories lmao. This show is 76 episodes.

I fell in love with william all over again tho. He was adopted and taken to America, so he gets words mixed up and speaks english and it's super cute! Also! It was one of william's first shows that used his real voice, so we get to hear his squeaky laugh!!! and at one point, he recites Hamlet, and my ovaries exploded.

OVERALL RATING: 8/10. It was super cute! william's chemistry with tina tang is great, and they're such a good couple. I honestly have no idea how they're going to fill 76 episodes though, because william is the chillest man ever.

WILLIAM RATING: gosh. 11/10. Get you a man who massages your feet and looks like william and recites shakespeare. holy shit. i nearly became heterosexual for this character :/

I Love That Crazy Little Thing (2016)

Holy shit. Holy shit. Forget As The Lights Go Out, THIS is my new favorite Willy movie. Not because it’s good, because arguably it isn’t, but it’s just so fucking FUN. Like genuinely I think it’s one of the funniest movies I’ve seen in my life, especially with the physical gags (there’s another making-fun-of-cdrama-tropes bit where a dude spits fake blood and then keeps spitting it and then pulls out a water bottle of fake blood and drinks it so he can keep spitting ITS SO FUNNY)

The premise of this show is that Willy is a movie editor who dreams of being a director. On one of his projects, they forget to buy the rights to a song for the score, so to get brownie points, Willy goes on an Epic Quest with his assistant to find the composer and get the rights. Also he learns about love. That’s really where the movie stops making sense, bc while it is very good and has a decent set-up, they pace it so weird that nothing feels like they have complete arcs.

William though. William. My gosh. They let this man go and he WENT. he does not hold back. He makes some of the funniest fucking faces I’ve ever seen in my life in this movie. He’s all over the place; he rolls on the ground and falls through floors and drags a rolling suitcase through a desert and gets pelted by mangoes and wipes out on water jet boots like one million times, and you can tell he was having a fucking BLAST doing it. He’s so joyous and carefree in this movie, and he’s so lovable. An all-around wonderful and perfect man

OVERALL RATING: 8/10. It was SO fun and SO silly and I just WISH that it had been paced better

WILLIAM RATING: 10/10. Not only does he look so happy from making this movie, he’s good in it. Mans took his stunt work and said “let’s do some physical comedy” and I genuinely would die for him

Edge to Happiness (2016)

William was really going for it in 2016, like damn bitch. You were all over the place. this is a very nice and good william. he's evil and gay for part of it but then he gets punched and is sorry. also at one point he goes into a coma because he got too mentally stimulated and like. me too king. we've all been there.

anyway Edge to Happiness is about a girl named Su Xiaoxiao who gets cheated in a marriage scandal and needs a job. It's also about a rich boy named He Mu who runs away from an arranged marriage and gets kicked out by his parents and also needs a job. they get the same job surprise! then they fall in love but only after willy (who is he mu's older brother) falls in love with su xiaoxiao first. it's fourty-four episodes and it does not need to be

william is actually very soft and gentle in this!! he is also evil for part of it but he's not actually very good at being evil. he's a good big brother and even though he's rich and stupid he figures shit out. also he's super good at playing the piano for some reason and says that to play the piano you need to treat the keys like little elves, which according to my roommate who majored in piano is not how that shit works at all

OVERALL RATING: 3/10. This was boring as all hell, and really should have been like twelve episodes, max.

WILLIAM RATING: 4/10. See I want this man to be going feral and any and all times. If he isn't then what's the point? Bonus marks for the sweaters tho

72 Floors of Mystery (2017)

if this isn’t william at his most chaotic i don’t know what to tell you. a game show based on the dmbj series by npss, william shows up for like one and a half episodes and then fucks off to do god knows what by himself. we never see him again. unclear if npss killed him off on purpose or not.

if you’re into dmbj, this show is just a very fun and silly time, and it features a lot of actors from the franchise, including some wu xie’s, a pangzi, li cu, and liu sang and kan jian as npss henchpeople/hostages (they were most certainly not paid enough for this)

William’s part in this show is mainly to look hot and cause problems. wu lei adopts him immediately. the fo ye theme plays whenever he does something, and most of the stuff he does is charming people into doing the work for him, and talking about when he was fo-ye, which honestly checks out

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. Very fun but makes zero sense and also was badly budgeted

WILLIAM RATING: 7/10. This is William as himself and he is being The Most chaotic. He has come to cause problems and look good doing it, but he is only in two episodes, which is slightly disappointing if you’re me.

The Founding of An Army (2017)

i am. still not entirely sure what happened in this movie. as far as i could tell, it was an excuse for someone to do a whole lot of explosion special effects and make it About Something. Like it was fine! but it was fine. The cast tho??? holy shit there were so many people in this one, and most of them were only around for like ten minutes, tops.

This movie is about the formation of the Communist party in China during the late 1920s, especially the revolt on August 1, 1927. That’s like, the high point of the movie, and where the most explosions happen. It’s a good twenty minutes of explosions and gunfire and fighting and more explosions. Honestly I was impressed by the amount of explosions! that definitely cost a lot of money, which was probably why they could only afford to hire actors for like. three scenes. cause there were a lot of different actors in it. Li Xian was there. Lay was there. Bai Yu-gege was there. And of course william, my main bitch.

William didn’t even get a name. He was present for under two minutes as a triad leader who sold guns to the fledgling Communist party, and did so while lounging sluttily on a box. honestly i really liked his character mostly because of his costume, which was so different in terms of styling and color palette that he stood out a lot.

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. It was a decent movie! I do not really understood what happened but i think that’s more because i was multi-tasking while trying to watch, so I wasn’t keeping up with all the subtitles. I was excited that Lay was in it, but then Lay was only in it for seven minutes before he died the most dramatic-ass death ever. Bai Yu-gege dressed up as a bush. :)

WILLIAM RATING: 5/10. He was really really good, but was not around NEARLY long enough. i want a whole movie about just him. is this because i’m william biased? maybe so

While There’s Still Time (2017)

IT’S WILLIAM IN PARIS!!! This is a Vogue short film starring William and Bai Baihe. I think the basic premise of it is that William is like an uber driver for rich people and bai baihe is a rich people and they are in paris and while william is driving her around they end up sightseeing and shit. they eat crepes and dance. she smells an apple.

it’s like six minutes and there’s no dialogue! but the music is very good and william looks hot and drinks coffee for like forty-five seconds while staring into the middle distance, i guess to like establish character or something????? there’s another part where he just stares at her like a weirdo. also there are rocket engines that get spliced in every so often and i honestly have no idea what that’s about.

OVERALL RATING: 8/10. For a short film that I’m guessing is mostly supposed to just be “look at how good these two look on camera” they do look really fucking good on camera. good work everyone

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10, like i said, he looks good on camera. his earrings are like. giant diamonds tho and that was very distracting.

Love Lost in Times (2017)

ok i did watch this whilst intoxicated and that did not help my understanding of it even at all. the biggest surprise of this show was how many people were in it that i knew! like gong jun was just there! immediately! and i was like :O and then ji chen showed up and i was like :) Also one of willy’s best songs is from that show so :D

don’t quote me on this but i THINK the basic plot of this show is that william is the fourth prince of a dynasty and he’s really fucking good at it, and outshines all of his brothers and everyone else and is gonna become emperor, so one of his brothers is like “fuck you.” meanwhile, there’s a mage who is super good at being a mage but she and william are destined to fall in love but if they do shit will get fucked up so when shit inevitably gets fucked up the girl uses magic to go back in time and create a parallel universe and won’t let william fall in love with her so that shit doesn’t get fucked up. obviously it doesn’t work bc 1) fate and 2) william is a hot piece of ass.

I might come back to this one someday? idk i feel like there’s more things that I could be watching that aren’t this, even if william is in it. i genuinely don’t remember a lot of it but that is entirely my fault and it might be a really good show, I just wouldn’t know

OVERALL RATING: 5/10. Being high did not help, but i loved the mages, they were kickass

WILLIAM RATING: yeah yeah he’s hot as fuck. we get it. 7/10.

Air Strike (2018)

this movie sucked ass. if the white savior complex wasn’t enough, the fact that it makes no damn sense should be. This is supposed to be a movie about a squadron of Chinese fighter pilots who are being trained by an American commander (played by Bruce Willis) in WWII, but actually the movie doesn’t spend very much time on them at all, instead bouncing around between multiple other plots that ALSO don’t make sense.

William is a fighter pilot named Charlie whose Comrade died in the war and he wants to get revenge but actually he’s like???? a bitch?? no one likes him. he fights with this other trainee over who gets to fly the Best Plane and william wins but then decides no so he ends up taking the lamer plane so the Protagonist Man (who isn’t even really the protagonist) can fly the Best Plane and then dies dramatically for it rip wills.

uhhhhh this movie is just a lot of explosions and weird-ass stunts that wouldn’t work in real life and bruce willis does jack shit in it. also the dialogue is terrible.

OVERALL RATING: 1/10. Not even william was enough to make up for how bad the rest of it was

WILLIAM RATING: 4/10. though the rest of the movie is bad, william is a pilot and i think that’s very sexy of him. also he gets one of his CLASSIC fight-scenes-in-the-rain so y’know that’s pretty good.

Genghis Khan (2018)

For a movie about genghis khan this movie sure wasn’t about genghis khan. it’s about a man named Temujin (who i guess is technically genghis khan but that as much as we get), who is really good at riding horses and sort of good at fighting and is engaged to this one girl. on the day of their wedding, his fiancee gets captured by an Evil Man so he can resurrect his dead wife, and william has to go save her.

i would probably have liked this movie if it were more fun, but as it is, it’s very boring for the most part. william just dances back and forth between Evil Man’s lair and the girl’s village. Like their arcs are Not Complete. Also I think they just die at the end? honestly not sure, it’s unclear.

the best part about this movie is Alan, William’s magical horse, and also this fucked up lil gremlin creature that works for Evil Man that looks like something straight out of Star Trek for no reason

OVERALL RATING: 1.5/10. it was bearable

WILLIAM RATING: honestly like a 3/10. not william’s best role at ALL and definitely not worth him in 2018. That’s Queen mv time people. william could have been a lot sexier and a lot more naked in this one and the fact that he wasn’t is honestly homophobic

Only Side By Side with You (2018)

this is a cute one! i have not seen all of it bc i am very silly and lazy and also i think it’s like fifty-some episodes and i was not about to do that. Yet. Maybe i will watch it for William but honestly i don’t think he gets whumped enough in this one to be worth it.

Anyway the premise is that william is the mafia boss/owner of a nightclub, and he was also in the military and had a gay-ass rivalry with this other dude (played by li xian of tientsin mystic). he meets the ceo of a drone manufacturing company and is like “i wanna date her” and then essentially ends up stalking her in kind of a non-creepy way? like it’s for sure weird but he’s not like sexual about it if that makes sense. also Gay-Ass Military Rival is Drone Girl’s best friend, so they have some conflict about that too.

It’s fun! it’s cute! honestly i think it’s mostly worth it for William’s stunt work, cause he does some fucking incredible stunts in this one, and honestly everyone else’s physical acting is really good too. I don’t know if they’re going to be able to stretch the plot out to fifty episodes worth, but we’ll see

OVERALL RATING: 6/10. Not really my thing, mainly cause of the romance, but i like the action and the plot so far.

WILLIAM RATING: 9/10. He’s hot. He’s suave. He has a MILF boss. honestly the whole package.

Age of Legends (2018)

GOSH THIS SHOW FUCKS. i say that after having made fun of it the entire time but honestly this one’s good. if you watch any William show purely for the William, I’d make it this one. The plot is snappy, if convoluted, and it doesn’t bog itself down with long, drawn-out romance scenes, because willy’s love interest in this bad boy is a bamf and also could kick his ass. we love to see it.

really my only critique here is that william moves like he’s a mini-fridge that grew legs and forgot how to use them. he’s SO FUCKING STIFF. and like. it’s a character choice. but he does this weird thing where he doesn’t move his shoulders like AT ALL when he walks but his hips are swiveling like there’s no mañana. it’s so strange. also he has this strange little mustache for like half the show and it weirds me out just a little bit. but then again he does get whipped within the first twenty minutes, so that’s nice.

i really liked this show! there’s an evil drug gege and william eats paper and also all the bamfs are women which we love! also evil drug gege’s relationship with willy is just very funny. the action is good, and the plot is well-paced, in my opinion.

OVERALL RATING: 10/10. If you like cop dramas/drug cartel dramas, then this will fit the bill. it’s more action than romance for an action/romance cdrama, which is why i liked it. also william has some stupid friends. fun time all around

WILLIAM RATING: like a 12/10. this is a william post-Inside Me Tour, and he knows it. This man has worn laser tiddies and seen the future. he is too powerful to be stopped.

Adoring (2019)

ok i went into this movie like “haha william gets cockblocked by a dog serves him right” and then i came out of this movie sobbing and emotionally destroyed by william and this dog. i could not handle it. william acted his ass off. the dog acted its ass off. i am not okay.

Adoring is a series of stories about people and their pets! and they’re all super unique, which was nice for a pet movie! there was one about a girl and her best friend (played by my son Wu Lei) who has gone blind, so she trains her golden retriever to be a seeing eye dog for him; one about a guy who wants to propose to this girl but hasn’t told her that he has a pet pig; one about a girl who has extreme mysophobia but ends up raising a cat with her neighbor; one about a dad who is taking care of his daughter’s cat while she’s in America; a delivery guy who gets help from a stray dog; and then william, who wants to fuck his wife so bad but keeps getting stopped by her dog whenever he tries. all of their stories eventually come together, and it’s really really cute! i loved it a lot, there were so many feel-good moments and funny bits and it was just really really good.

i will give spoilers tho: the dog dies in the end (only william’s not the other ones) but it’s like??? holy fuck. it’s so sad. and william is so good. and the dog is so good??? and one thing i appreciate about william in this movie is even though he keeps getting rekt by this dog he never asks his wife to choose between the dog and him he just accepts that they can’t have sex with the dog present and you know what?? get you a man like that.

OVERALL RATING: honestly 10/10. was it high art? no. was it completely original? no. was it cute and funny and made me happy? yes.

WILLIAM RATING: 15/10 he was so good and goofy in this??? i literally loved him so much he was so nice and sweet and understanding and just! ah! he was like a golden retriever himself. i would die for him.

Gagman (2020)

Okay I’m honestly not sure why william is in this one bc it’s a comedy-talent scouting series, and as far as I know william has never been a comedian??? unless he’s there bc his smile is the most beautiful thing on this planet in which case yeah

uhhh i couldn’t understand most of what was going on bc this show does not have English subs, but it was cute and looked funny! i think the premise is basically that they get a bunch of young comedians to do their bits in front of professional comedians + william and then they choose the best one at the end. not sure but it looked good!

the best part was that one of the gags in episode one was that this guy’s bit was that he talked nonsense to the person next to him on a roller coaster that’s going like a billion miles per hour, and so they put william next to this man and william was all like “hell yeah” and then as soon as the ride started he was like “fuck no get me off” and then he spent the rest of the time trying not to die and not listening to this man’s comedy at all

OVERALL RATING: N/A because i didn’t not understand what was happening unfortunately, but it seems like a really fun and cute show, and I would have liked to see it!

WILLIAM RATING: 6/10. I love seeing william being himself but unfortunately ever since he opened his own merch line “being himself” means he’s just dressed head to toe in his own merch 24/7. Extra points bc i now know that he rides roller coasters the same way I do, i.e. eyes closed and holding breath

L.O.R.D.: Legend of Ravaging Dynasties 2 (2020)

someone please explain to me why this was a better movie than the first one??? like i went into this expecting nothing. nothing. and then i cried. what the fuck. i shouldn't be emotionally affected by this stupid-ass cgi video game movie and yet i was

so the sequel to LORD 1 follows qi ling, again, who is waiting for his bf to come back from abandoning him. said bf does come back and then is like "we gotta go rescue my husband from his Time Prison" and everyone is like ok. meanwhile duke killing and the gang are trying to stop them, as usual, and not doing a very good job. they basically just fight each other all the way to the netherrealm, where duke silver goes to free his husband and qi ling has some gay crises about it.

when i say I cried, I mean it. I did. and only partially because it was sad. the other part was because william is such a THOT. the way this man moves his hips is sinful. it's like he read a wiki-how on motion capture and the only thing he took away from it was "exaggerate your movements" because that is all that he does. I need behind the scenes footage, and also a third movie unfortunately.

OVERALL RATING: surprisingly, like an 8/10. I was invested, even though i wish I hadn't been

WILLIAM RATING: 6/10, because once again, he is a WHORE and i love him. also he had like, love for something other than himself?? i went through a whole range of feelings about duke killing in this one and honestly i don't think that should have been allowed

The YinYang Master (2021)

normally i would watch william movies for william and i admittedly did watch this one for william but it’s so much more than him!! like this is a genuinely good movie and I was not expecting that... well, okay, I was, because I had heard from other people that it was good but i was expecting william’s normal brand of nonsense but this is actually a good movie! I think. it really wasn't my thing but everyone else loves it, and it was a good and fun time!

uhhhh ok granted i don’t really remember like. a good percentage of the plot cause i watched it with other people and we were talking the whole time. ANYWAY i think like YingYang Master BoFa Deez Nuts has a whole like lil creature house? he had a bunch of creatures. and there’s some magic shit. and his house is gonna get destroyed by the other YinYang Masters so he has to fight them. william is an evil deer spirit man thing. also there’s a random ass guy but Bo Ya is hot and his ex-girlfriend is hot. it’s pretty great.

it’s a good movie! just enough action and stuff to keep you engaged, and it’s a pretty quick one, so you won’t get bored watching. i keep getting plot points of this movie mixed up with the Darren Wang Is A Writer and Manifests Shit one tho, so I’m sorry that this review isn’t better.

OVERALL RATING: for me, 7/10. It’s not my favorite movie, but a lot of people really like it, and it does look really good.

WILLIAM RATING: 7/10. He’s a bitch in this one!! but he looks good doing it. also he’s a fucking weirdo. i do like Villain Willain. never seen that before (cause at the time of writing this i have not seen LORD) so that was fun

Dance of the Storm (2021)

ahahahahahaha willy what the FUCK ok honestly the quality of this one isn’t his fault. It’s made by the same people who did Age of Legends, which is probably why it’s like exactly the same but Worse. likkkkkkkeee i liked Age of Legends but you really didn’t have to do it twice. once was enough.

anyhow william plays a disgraced fbi agent who returns to the force when his late mentor’s murderer shows up. he’s a bitch and a brat and spends all his time getting in trouble bc he won’t listen to anyone, so he goes rogue with the help of his two bffs and does action stuff to solve the mystery.

the stunts SLAP there’s this one move where william grabs a dude’s wrist, steps around his head, wrenches him to the ground using his thighs, and shoots him. it’s so fucking cool. genuinely one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen. UGH. other than that tho it was kinda weird, and the pacing was strange, and william is honestly kind of annoying bc he won’t listen to ANYONE and keeps doing shit on his own. and like it works out for him but only bc he’s the protagonist. anyone else would have died like twelve times.

OVERALL RATING: 5/10. Honestly not enough to keep me occupied or engaged.

WILLIAM RATING: 7.5/10. It’s a different character than we usually see from him, and he’s once again on top of his stunt work. very hot.

Fourtry: Season Two (2021)

once again people have got to stop letting william do reality shows. at this point i think he just surfs job postings for literally anything and is like “fuck yeah i’ll do it” when they need a celebrity host bc all of his variety show roles are so far away from what he actually does? like this is a business entrepreneurship startup show and yeah I GUESS william opened a clothing line but he’s the only one who wears his clothes so like. what does this bitch know about business.

regardless of all that william is very charming in this one. he’s hanging out! he’s in his element! also he’s very sweet and stupid (there’s one part where everyone is like “we gotta choose the best clothes for our opening!” and he’s just screaming in the background. not even words, he’s just going AH). they do a photoshoot and everyone’s like “wow it’s fo-ye!” and he’s literally just sitting there. iconic. he teaches all of his children the choreography to “Queen,” which if you know willy you know that that is the sluttiest music video on the face of the planet.

also at one point he makes the news for shaving all of his staff’s heads. Badly.

OVERALL RATING: 4/10 mostly just because business startups do not interest me.

WILLIAM RATING: ok he’s super charismatic in this one. 8.5/10. how anyone doesn’t fall in love with this man immediately is beyond me.

Novoland: Pearl Eclipse (2021)

Ah! And here we come to the latest and greatest willy drama! Novoland!! I'm still working on this one and will probably watch all of it but for now you get my three-episode required summary.

Novoland: Pearl Eclipse is about a girl named hai shi (we love water pun names) whose village gets wrecked bc a dude is after some pearls. hai shi is adopted by resident badass, fang jianming, who is the emperor's gay love affair and personal punching bag. he raises her as his disciple and they have a very fun shidi/shifu relationship :/ meanwhile fang jianming is getting his ass kicked 24/7 because he put a spell on himself to take all the damage while the emperor (who is a bitch) gets away scot free. also huang junjie is there!!!!

from the first few episodes, I love everything about this show EXCEPT the shifu/shidi thing. doesn't do it for me. Maybe I'll learn to accept it in the end but i'm pretty sure hai shi and william are just going to be dramatic af about it and won't learn anything valuable by the end. truly fang jianming should just go date the emperor and maybe a lot of problems would be solved

OVERALL RATING: 7/10. Good action, seemingly good plot, it's just the romance that really throws me off.

WILLIAM RATING: 9/10, if you've seen my ghost smile post you know that this man is dialing it up to an eleven for this one. his hair is stupid tho.

Faces in the Crowd (2023)

Williams back, and he’s having a myriad of queer-coded relationships with men!!! If u liked seeing Zhu Yilong get his shit rocked by a zaddy with a gun, you’ll love seeing William get his shit rocked by a zaddy with a gun, cause that’s basically all this movie is.

Faces in the Crowd is about a lil guy named Jiadong who is in the Chinese army and is hunting some communists bc that’s what they do in these movies. He teams up with his old zaddy who was a communist and then decided to have money instead, and they work on tracking down a communist who looks shockingly like bai yu. William runs round and shoots a gun (except he’s. Shockingly bad at it) and learns about communism

What I don’t get is why they keep having william do rom coms bc every time he’s in a rom com I forget he can actually act sometimes. Anyway he’s stupid in this like most of his other shows, but I really enjoyed watching it!! Definitely the best out of his three 2023 projects

TW: there is a sexual assault scene; nothing super graphic, but be aware!

OVERALL RATING: 9/10 there wasn’t really anything super new or original here. Also the final fight was ???? William outran a machine gun and then got set on fire but he lived

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10 he’s JUST about to get to the point where he’s a little too old to keep playing characters in their 20s, so I don’t quite buy the naivety thing from him anymore and he kinda hams it up with that one in this. Otherwise he’s fantastic, lots of action and running around and making men fall in love with him by using his cow eyes and pretty smile

Bursting Point (2023)

Literally Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ William what the fuck. What the actual fuck.

Y'all know me, I love a drug cartel-action heist-undercover agent shebang as much as the next girl but HOLY SHIT. This is a particularly good genre for William and he likes to do them, so there have been a few but this one. Crossed a lot of lines. And I'm not really surprised it hasn't been allowed on any streaming services.

The plot is that William is a cop but no one at his job likes him, so he gets blackmailed into going undercover in a drug cartel. William's really good at going undercover in a drug cartel. He is a little too good at going undercover in a drug cartel, which leads to a falling out between him as his boss who he is in gay love with. You can kinda get the gist.

What you can't get the gist of are the trigger warnings that should be on this movie! So, I highly do not recommend this film if you are triggered or made uncomfortable by any of the following: extreme violence, blood and injury, major character death, extreme violence against children, sexual assault, drug use, drug overdosing, police brutality, and William's superhumangift tattoo being on full display the whole time (seriously though, this movie shows a lot of shit so definitely go into it with that in mind; I can always answer any specific questions if u have them!).

OVERALL RATING: 8/10 like it was really well-plotted and it was very well executed in terms of acting and script but it was. A Lot.

WILLIAM RATING: 8/10 where did this boy learn how to act???? cause he's acting in this. Minus 2 because his ass is way too good at acting a little stupid and a little gay and making old men fall in love with him.

A Date With The Future (2023)

This show is fucking stupid oh my gosh. So so stupid. There are some great bits, like william being in a very homosexual relationship and also aroace coded, and he’s cute with a dog, but everything else was BAD

plot is that a girl named Xu Lai gets trapped in a building during an earthquake and william saves her so she falls in love with him and then harasses him at his workplace. William is like “I am not interested in dating never have been never will be” but then she has a dog and he really likes dogs so I guess they’re gonna fall in love?? It’s ridiculous all of it. Xu Lai is also sooooooo fucking annoying like girl stop stalking him!!!!!

But huge fan of william being aroace! Also for some reason they kept having the firefighters do sexy rain scenes??? And made them do like three stupid little dances and william looks like he’s the only one having any fun

Overall Rating: 4/10. It’s just really not good or interesting!!!!! williams a goofy goober tho so that’s fun

William Rating: 5/10 he’s cute and stupid but he could have done something way better than this. Literally anything

#i've finally done it #i've finally defeated him #pls enjoy the fruits of my labor this took me MONTHS #gosh he's done so many insane movies #holy shit #i know so many things now #william watchlist #observe william #william chan

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