#wade’s just being a silly little guy

[d-adpool]

your hot..

And sexy

@bizarrospider

those are the same thing and please keep the overt objectification to my second blog where i can respond to it shamelessly. there are children here

[avocado-writing]

Avo please I need Pregnant reader x DP&W headcanons 😩 I love both these men so much. I just wanna a little life with them. These men have been through so damn much. Let them have some softness in their life.

I don’t really want kids but good lord- if they asked me too, I would push out an entire hockey team for them

Wade is so fucking happy when you tell him you're pregnant. They've been trying to knock you up for ages now, about damn time it worked!

Logan is pleased too but he's a little more... reserved about it. Doesn't want to run around telling everyone like Wade does. It's hard for him to embrace happiness, because he's so used to it slipping through his fingers. Get past your first trimester and he's able to start smiling about it though.

Expect to always be sitting down. If you get up to do something, one of them will be gently guiding you back to your seat. "Sweetie you sit your fine pregnant ass right back down, I'll get whatever you need. Soda? Chips? A whole tub of Ben & Jerry's?" or a softer, "Stay there baby, I'll grab it."

One of them is always with you, like a fucking guard dog. They're dangerous men after all, who knows who might be looking for them? Usually you can handle yourself but they have an extra reason to worry now.

Al makes it very clear she does not want a baby in the apartment (can you blame her?) so you have to find a new home. It's an added stress for you so the boys usually go out scouting. Eventually you're able to find a cute little place to afford with the three of you (being in a polycule is the only way to make rent these days)

You love to spend those days doing up baby's room and singing silly little songs as you do it. "Am I gonna paint your nursery green or yellow, who knows... ♫" If one of them catches you, they'll lean against the doorframe and watch you with absoloute heart-eyes.

Logan's been around for long enough that he's had experience with young kids before, so when you or Wade panic about something, he's usually the one to temper it. Reminds you that you'll both be fine.

Wade never shuts the fuck up talking to your bump. Truly, a stream of consciousness about the world to baby. Gets little Deadpool onesies for them too, because he thinks they're cute. Logan is quieter, hand on your belly, a quiet few sentences just so they know that he has a voice and it's not just Wade.

They're pretty good when you go into labour. Wade panics a bit but Logan hits him with a look which implies that now is not the time, and he buckles down. Delivery goes smoothly. It's great to have two guys who can heal their bones when you need to grip down on something as you push.

And when you get home? Crib is barely used. Baby is pretty much always in someone's arms: Wade's who's always babbling to baby's delight; Logan's solid embrace as he hums quietly; against your chest as you whispered how loved they are.

taglist: @falsewordz @malfoys-demigod @belilwen @mildly-salted @tvwebs @childeslegstrap @getmeoutofhell @s1eep-o @just-a-beatlemaniac69 @yrthr @momopad @sugarplumz100 @captainjinkx @madspads @acrosstheunivcrse @yeethaw13 @na-is-salty @florduarte @hunterispunk @starfleetteddybear

[dreamwritesimagines]

Theory of Gravity

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Female!Reader

Summary: Making small talk can be difficult with a crush.

Word Count: 1234

Genre: Fluff Oneshot

Content: Drinking, reader being awkward because she has a crush, flirting

Contrary to popular belief, snitching on the whereabouts of a very dangerous mobster in the bar you worked in and possibly getting killed or maimed in the process was not a good plan for a Friday night but to be completely honest, you had done worse things over a silly little crush.

Like back in college freshman year when you pretended to be into music biopics just so that the hot guy in your elective would think you two were meant to be.

So if anything, this was a pattern.

“Logan?” you said as you put his drink in front of him. “Can I ask you something?”

“Hm?”

“What was Galileo like?”

He blinked a couple of times, the familiar scowl that seemed to be etched on his handsome face getting deeper and you tried to ignore the way your heart skipped a beat.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” he said. “I will lose all the belief I’ve never had in the first place in this country’s education system if you’re serious.”

You gave him a bright smile. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“I figured it was better than asking how the public took it when Newton came up with the theory of gravity.”  

The look on his face couldn’t be described with anything but complete horror and you let out a laugh, then went to serve another customer before quickly making your way to him.

“I’m just messing with you,” you said, leaning against the bar as you stole a look at the mobster sitting by the table with his men, then to Wade who was very, very busy with Vanessa by the corner.

“You look nervous,” Logan pointed out, making your head whip up before you cleared your throat.

“Nah, not at all,” you said. “I’m just thinking that if I die tonight, I’ll die doing what I love.”

“Which is?”

Gazing at older men who couldn’t look less interested in me.

“Being surrounded by drunk people who want to give me money,” you said. “Not a bad way to go.”

He scoffed into his drink before taking a sip while you nibbled on your lip, shifting your weight.

“Nothing is going to happen to you,” he said, his voice gruff. “We’re just waiting for his partner to show up, then we will deal with them both.”

You nodded your head. “Yeah. Sure, I know.”

“Do you?”

You nodded again, absentmindedly reaching out to play with the cocktail straw on the counter, painfully aware of his gaze on you that made your face burn.

“How’s grad school?”

…He remembered.

He remembered you saying that the last time he and Wade were here.

One simple observer would’ve thought he was on his knees proclaiming his undying love for you with the way your heartbeat went insane and his eyebrows rose as if he could hear it, but you quickly casted the thought away from your mind; that was surely impossible.

“Oh it’s going well!” you said, your voice going high-pitched for a moment. “Came for the hot professors, stayed for the education—I’m joking,” you added in a haste, waving a hand in the air. “I’m a very…very deep and intellectual individual.”

“Uh huh.”

“And none of my professors are hot,” you muttered and wiped at the damp spot on the counter with a napkin. “They should put that on the brochure if you ask me, it’s important information.”

“So you’ll be a doctor?”

“If by some miracle my dissertation goes through the jury,” you pointed out. “How about you? How’s your roommate situation with Wade going?”

He only grumbled something under his breath and you bit back a smile, then topped his drink.

“Thanks sweetheart.”

If there was one thing you hated the idea of more than dying was proving Freud right but it looked like you were going two for two tonight.

“So uh,” you said, trying to ignore the goosebumps rising on your arms because of his deep voice. “Hey, at least you have the place to yourself sometimes, no? When Wade is with Vanessa? Should give you some time to…bring someone home.”

And I volunteer as tribute.

He raised his brows, his unwavering gaze pinning you to your spot and you cleared your throat.

“Or—or someones,” you stammered. “Sky is the limit if you’re into that sort of thing. Now that it came up by the way, are…are you?”

“Am I bringing people home?” he asked as if he wanted to make sure that was what you were asking and you shrugged your shoulders, your face on fire.

“I’m just asking because, you know,” you began the sentence without having a clue on how you would finish it as usual. “I’m great at giving relationship advice, so if you were in a relationship I could be your own personal relationship coach.”

He pulled his brows together in confusion and you reached out to get the bowl full of peanut shells from his right just so that you could keep yourself busy, then turned the bowl over the garbage can.

“I’m not,” he said and you swallowed thickly.

“Who has the time for that these days, am I right?”

“Do you have—”

“Yes I have the time!” you cut him off, nodding your head in enthusiasm, your heart beating in your ears but he had already finished his sentence;

“…ice?”

You hoped to God tonight was the night you’d die because if that mobster in the corner didn’t shoot you, you were going to have to ask Wade to do it just to save you from this embarrassment.

“Oh,” you said after a beat as he stared at you. “Yeah—yeah I have ice, sorry.”

You rushed to get some ice and put it into his whiskey, biting inside your cheek and he cleared his throat.

“You don’t want to go out with me sweetheart.”

Well good news was that you had already made a fool of yourself so one could think the bar for your self-respect couldn’t get any lower, but boy oh boy you had already brought your metaphorical shovel.  

“I disagree,” you said, taking a deep breath. “I would very much love to if you were interested.”

“You think I’m not interested?”

“I feel like I’d have a better chance at proving you’re not interested with dates and references than my own thesis,” you pointed out. “And that’s saying something—”

“I am interested,” he cut you off, making your eyes widen and you gawked at him, frozen in your spot. “Trust me, that’s not the problem here.”

“Am I getting the I’m too dangerous for you speech?” you heard yourself ask through disbelief. “Because screw that speech. Honestly, the only thing I’m focused on in here is if you—fuck!”

He pulled his brows together. “If I—?”

“No no!” you said as you pointed at the back door where two men were dragging Wade through. “Wade!”

Logan cussed under his breath as he shot up from his stool.

“Don’t go anywhere, we’ll talk about this later,” he told you and made his way to the back door while you heaved a sigh, leaning back to the counter as he stepped outside and you caught the sight of him grabbing a man by the neck before the door slammed shut. You pressed a hand over your chest, then tilted your head back with a groan.

“Alright,” you muttered to yourself. “That was smooth.”

[dyns33]

Obvious

Most of the time I see him as the cool silly big bro, but I love Deadpool, so here's a long Deadpool x female reader.

Normally nothing destined Y/N to meet Wade Wilson.

A normal life, without enemies, without superpowers, without contracts on her head. She didn't fight, respected the law (at least for the most serious and important things) and she considered herself to be a good person.

The first time she had passed Saint Agnes Orphanage, she hadn't really paid it much attention. The second time, she found it a little strange that an orphanage was in this part of the city, which was not really made for children.

Then one evening, when she had had a bad day, she realized that it was a bar and she decided to go in for a drink.

Since she thought an orphanage was strange in that place, she might have thought it was odd for a bar to have such a name. She could also have been scared when she saw the other customers, who all turned towards her, indicating that she might not be welcome.

But Y/N was tired, and she just wanted a drink before going home, so she smiled politely as she sat down at the counter.

The waiter frowned, but he agreed to serve her with a shrug, muttering that as long as she was an adult, it wasn't his problem.

A tall, bald, tattooed guy then approached her, putting a hand on her arm without worrying about her private space, asking her if she wanted to follow him home.

"… No thanks."

“Come on, don’t be a slut.”

"Please."

“Come with me, you stupid bitch.”

"Now, that's really not very nice. The lady said no, a gentleman should know it's time to leave. But no Hector, not only are you insisting, but you're being rude."

"Fuck you, Wade, don't get involved in this !"

The waiter continued to mumble about cleaning, while this Wade guy smashed Hector's head against the counter. A tooth even flew close to Y/N’s face.

That might have been enough to scare her completely. In addition to the surge of violence that was happening right next to her, there was the red suit, the katanas and other guns, which could make you want to flee as quickly as possible.

But when he finished kicking Hector's ass, Wade turned to her, and despite the mask, it was obvious that he was smiling, extending a hand towards her.

"Miss, my apologies for that boor. He knows nothing of good manners."

"… Thank you."

"You're very welcome, lovely angel ! Wade Wilson, Deadpool, Merc with a mouth, at your service ! Oh, he spilled your drink… Bad Hector ! Or was it me ? Maybe it was me. Weasel, the same for the little lady, on my note !”

“You already owe me a fortune.”

“I will kill whoever you want for free !”

“I thought you didn’t kill anymore.”

"Ah yes… I'll suck you for free !"

“Here you go, two drinks, just shup up Wade.”

In the end, Wade was a bit special, but not evil. He stayed with her, partly because he loved having someone to talk to, but also to make sure no one else was going to bother her again.

And he talked a lot. Everything he said didn't always make sense, he even seemed to be talking to himself sometimes, but he was funny. It seemed to please him that Y/N laughed at his jokes. Behind the counter, Weasel was still muttering that she was doing something silly.

Among the long tirade he delivered that evening, she understood that Wade had not had an easy life. That he had done some things that could make him a criminal, but he had been trying to improve for some time.

"Colossus already wanted me to become an X-men but it wasn't for me. Wait, there are X-men in this universe ? I do not know anymore. Anyway, there's Spidey and Devy. No, he's right, this nickname isn't great, Devil. Like Daredevil. They want us to be Team Red, but only if I stop unliving people. It's not fair because they're friends with Frank, and Frank keeps unliving people, but he lost his wife and his kids, so I guess he has more sympathy points than me."

"I don't understand everything, but I guess Spidey is Spiderman ?"

"Yes ! He's super cool ! And his ass ! People confuse us sometimes, it annoys me, but it's a bit of a compliment. He's my role model."

Like a true superhero, Deadpool insisted on taking her home. He was terribly honest, saying that he could leave her a few blocks away, but that was useless, because as a former mercenary, he was very good at stalking people and he could find her address without difficulty, even if he only had her name.

"Which I wouldn't do ! Normally. I might want to see you again, and ask Weasel to find your number, but I know myself, I'll put it in my phone, and I'll hesitate for weeks, then I'll send a lousy message, you'll be scared, you'll block me, I'll be ashamed and I'll shoot myself in the head because I'm a moron."

“I can give you my number.”

"And I… Huh ? Huh ?! For real ?!" exclaimed Wade, jumping like a child on Christmas Day.

Wade called her right away, specifying that it was not to verify that she was giving him a false number but a little. Despite the mask, his face showed surprise when he saw that she hadn't lied.

"I should put a bullet in my head to make sure I'm not dreaming."

“You wouldn’t wake up.”

“Baby girl, we only just met, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

When Deadpool talked about shooting himself, he meant it literally. It often happened that he died, either because of an enemy, an accident, or by his own hand. But he always came back. A gift like a curse.

They became friends. It was obvious, and quite sad, that Wade didn't have many friends.

Most people around him couldn't stand him or were afraid of him. It was true that he could be quite unpredictable, especially when he got lost in his discussions with the boxes, or an imaginary audience. But he was never mean.

Weasel was more of a collaborator, Al was forced to accommodate him, and the other heroes, unable to get rid of him, tried to make him a nice guy.

And he was really nice. Crazy but adorable, funny and wanting to do well.

Very quickly, Y/N started to have a crush, and even more. Even after seeing him without a mask. He never took it off completely to eat, repeating that he didn't want her to lose her appetite or feel like throwing up.

But after landing in a trash can after a fight, and forgetting that he had invited her to watch Princess Bride, Y/N had seen him. Yes, his scars were a bit impressive, but they weren't that bad.

With an embarrassed smile, he waved his hand while remaining frozen near the entrance.

"… I can move if you want to run away. I won't follow you. I may look like Frankenstein's monster, but I only pursue young girls who ask me to. Or who deserve it. Because criminals have no gender, I don't discriminate."

“I brought popcorn.” was her only reaction.

"... Oh. Sweet ? Salty ? Caramel ? Al must have beer somewhere, hidden with the cocaine."

After that, he was a little less afraid to show his face, even though it was obvious he wasn't comfortable. It wasn't easy to reassure him, repeating that she didn't care about his appearance.

Y/N didn’t remember how they ended up having this conversation. The only thing she knew was that she was pressed against him, laughing, when she had innocently said it would be fun if they went out together.

This made Wade laugh, but a very serious laugh, leaving no chance and hitting where it hurt.

"You and me ? Ah ! No chance."

"Why ?"

"It's obvious."

A simple little sentence could sometimes do a lot of damage. Too busy making fun of the characters on the screen, Wade didn't see Y/N's look of sadness, just as he didn't feel her body stiffen.

Still, she should have expected this response. Of course it was obvious that they had nothing to do together. Deadpool was a super hero (in training), he was tall, muscular, funny, rich.

She had seen photos of his deceased ex, Vanessa. She had observed him flirting with beautiful women and men before. It was already fortunate that she was only friends with him.

So Y/N swallowed her pride, accepting the obvious, and not talking about the subject again.

But it was hard, because the more time passed, the stronger the feelings became.

It was even harder when Wade entered his depressive phases. He kept putting himself down, insulting himself and accepting insults from the boxes in his head. It took a lot of patience and perseverance to get him to put down his gun.

"Anyway, I'll come back later. Bad luck for the world. People would be happier if I wasn't here anymore. Maybe they'll miss me a little, for a few minutes."

“I would miss you, Wade.”

"Yeah… You say that because you're adorable, baby girl. But you'd be better off without me too. I'm a real drag."

“You saved me the first time we met.”

"And since then you think you owe me a debt. You know, every time we're in the street, the others look at me and they're afraid. If I wasn't there, you could be with them. You could have lots of friends.”

"I don't want lots of friends, Wade." Y/N sighed, taking him into her arms. “I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Oh, sweetie pie, me too !”

It was rarer for them to find themselves in the opposite situation. Not because Deadpool wasn't capable of empathy, but because she didn't like talking about her problems, preferring to keep everything to herself and cry out of sight.

Unfortunately, she had made the decision to become friends with a former mercenary who loved to jump from roof to roof, only to come visit without warning by tapping on the window.

Y/N had no time to hide her tears, holding back a sob as her eyes met those of Wade, who had stopped mid-movement, fist raised against his window.

He didn't hesitate before entering, terribly serious.

"Who ? Who did this ?"

“Wade…”

"Who made my baby girl cry ? I want a name. Spidey and Dev will understand. Yellow wants decapitation, White wants emasculation. Tell me who."

"It's really not necessary. It's not important."

“It’s important if you cry.” Deadpool growled as he looked around the apartment for clues.

Once he had an idea in his head, it was almost impossible to divert his attention. If it wasn't so important, it was possible with food or talking about Spiderman's butt. But this time he considered it very important.

Tired, Y/N thought that all she had to do was say that it was just a ridiculous heartbreak for him to calm down. He had no reason to kill someone just because they didn't love her back.

This actually seemed to calm him down a bit, as he patted his cheeks with his hands in a dramatic gesture.

"What ?! Someone doesn't love you ?! Someone doesn't like my sweet little angel ? Are they crazy or stupid. You deserve the best !"

"Actually… He's the one who's too good for me."

"Bullshit ! The important thing is love ! If a woman can marry a space duck, then everyone can be together, as long as it's legal and consensual !"

"… What ? No, wait, it doesn't matter. Wade, please forget it."

"A name. Let me prove to you that this fool doesn't deserve you, and not the other way around !"

"No."

"A name !"

"You ! It's you !"

For the first time since they met, Wade was silent for more than a minute, staring at her like he wasn't sure she was real. He often had hallucinations, so this happened to him.

Then he muttered incomprehensible things, probably speaking with his boxes to check that he had heard what she had just said.

"… Me ? As in, me ?"

“I know what you’re going to say.” Y/N sighed, wanting to disappear. "You've already said it, it's obvious that we're not meant to be together. You're charismatic, and strong, and funny, with powers. You save people, you have an extraordinary life, while I… I am me."

"… Baby girl. Do you have a fever ? Did you lose a bet ? Because… You saw me without a mask. You know I'm crazy and dangerous. There are several bounties on my head, I've unlived more people than the population of New York, and my favorite movie is Zoolander 2. When I said it was obvious… I meant that you were too good for me."

There had been a misunderstanding, each being convinced that the other could never want the other, because they were too different. But even though he was special, with skin problems and an inability to concentrate for more than ten minutes, Wade was much better than a space duck.

However, while she was sure of what she wanted, he hadn't clearly said what he expected next.

"I mean, if you just want to be friends, I'll understand."

"You can't tease me like that and then break my heart. Don't play with me, woman !"

“Wade…” Y/N sneered, as he gesticulated like a degenerate, declaiming his great love for her and her smile, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Taking advantage of his inattention, she approached him, until he froze when he felt her hands on his mask.

With a look, she asked him if she could take it off, and as he didn't move to stop her, she took it off first up to his nose, before hesitating.

Y/N didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but she also didn’t want him to think that she didn’t want to see him if she didn’t go further. So she took out the whole mask, she observed Wade, smiling before kissing him.

"… Don't take what comes next as a bad thing." he whispered as their lips parted.

"What ?"

"I'm going to have a heart attack…"

As always, Y/N thought he was joking at first, until he collapsed in front of her, looking delighted even though his heart had stopped beating. Fortunately she was used to seeing him die, even if it was still a little traumatic.

It took almost an hour for him to wake up. Y/N had time to take a shower and make herself some tea, sitting on the couch to wait.

"Shit !" he shouted as he opened his eyes, looking around the apartment before looking at her. “Did we kiss ?”

“Yes and you died.”

"It's weird. Normally you go to heaven after you die, not before. But I probably don't have enough superhero points for heaven yet, so the other option is that I became totally crazy."

“Wade…”

"I know, White and Yellow would have told me. They're already saying that all the time, but they would have insisted, especially for me to escape from the asylum. It's no fun fighting with fake people and hippos. Was I dead long ?"

“No, a little over half an hour.”

"And you stayed with me, it's so cute. Nurse Y/N. No, Doctor Y/N, and I'll be Nurse Wilson. Oh, Doctor Y/N, I made a mistake in the dosage of a patient, I'm a bad nurse, punish me."

"… Let's see Nurse Wilson, we're in the middle of an intervention, calm down."

"Uh oh ! You're playing along !" Wade exclaimed, pouting from the ground. "I didn't expect that ! Wait, I need a blonde wig, and a white dress. You'll see, I look super sexy in a dress. Wait, we do this now or it's quick and we should have a date first ?'

“I wouldn’t say no to a date.”

"I see the genre, like in novellas. Doctor Y/N takes me to the restaurant to talk about my future promotion, but in fact, you are going to admit to me that I am pregnant with you, before I even enter your bed !"

“As long as you’re in my bed before the hundredth episode.”

“UH !”

The small, high-pitched cry of pleasure preceded a second cardiac arrest, Deadpool's mind imagining Y/N and him in a bed, with a stetoscope.

When she asked him if he was going to have a heart attack every time, he told her that he would probably die for good the day he saw her naked, or that they made love for the first time.

But Wade was a gentleman, he ate lots of vegetables, exercised, and begged Daredevil to teach him meditation techniques.

So he had the courtesy of having the next heart attack only after they were finished, and in the toilet. And every time after that they were together, Wade would go out of his way to just get a nosebleed.

Especially on Weasel's counter, telling him everything they had done or almost everything, which annoyed the poor waiter a lot, even if he knew that it would happened from the start, the moment he saw Deadpool with Y/N.

[click4rainy]

Wade Wilson Boyfriend HeadCanons

👽:slowly but surely getting back into my writing 💅🏼 (not proof read just super horny like a clown 🤡 HONKAH HONKAH)

SFW ♥️

★ Wade is a silly guy. So silly in fact, he’ll crack jokes or shoot a sarcastic comment your way—mid argument. “How am I supposed to listen when you look this good right now?” Fear not! Because he knows when to shut up. (When you tell him to)

★ Bro defo has a Roblox account. Not elaborating.

★ Despite his chaotic and reckless behavior, Wade is actually super protective and would go to extreme lengths to keep you safe. And then some. “Hey! Back off! Don’t you fuck with her! Unless you wanna fuck with me too. In that case we’ll need a sit down discussion for—“ “WADE!” “Right—sorry.”

★ Expect big, wild romantic gestures. Like standing outside your window while holding up a boom box. (playing ‘what you won’t do for love’ by Bobby Caldwell) or (attempting at) writing your name with fireworks. (There were definitely ‘unexpected’ explosions)

★ “I know it’s only Tuesday, but I totally, legally rented a helicopter so we can pretend we’re in the aveng—no? Okay…plan B then: Breakfast in bed with (penis) questionable pancakes.”

★ Cuddle bug Wade. Are we surprised? This man lives off of physical touch and affection. Wrapping you up in his arms, not letting you go with a shit eating grin. “Nope, you’re not leaving this couch. We’re practicing the ancient art of Wade Wrapping, which requires at least three hours of cuddles, just sayin.”

★ He is nonstop teasing you. It’s a hobby for him, really. (And his love language) Coming up with silly nicknames for you, challenging you to random games or chores, he’s not below making fun of himself to see you smile either.

★ “Oh-ho? You think you can wipe the track with me in Mario kart? That’s cute.” “Honey—you look fine. Approachable even. Unlike me…” (he says while laying limbless on the bed. Literally….)

★ Uses his dark humor to comfort you in times of ‘what the actual fuck?’ Knowing how to turn even the bleakest of moments into something a little lighter. “Hey, I know life might suck granny tits right now…but at least we’re not in a rom-com where one of us has to die or something worse for the other to grow emotionally, right?”

★ Unwaveringly supportive of you in any conflict. He is going to take your side. Every. Single. Time. Backing you up even if he has literally no idea what’s going on or why. “You said Rick was out of line at work today? Well guess who’s getting a strongly worded letter in the form of interpretive dance in the parking lot?” “Is it Ri—“ “it’s Rick.”

★ Wade loves experimenting in the kitchen with you! Attempting to make meals that sometimes end up in hilarious disasters, followed up by a take out order.

★ He breaks this…’fourth wall’ sometimes. Like looking off into the distance and talking to an invisible audience or camera while addressing you. This dead ass bewilders you at times. But mostly you roll your eyes at his antics.

★ “Can you believe this shit?” He’ll ask, turning to an imaginary audience. “I’m over here being the perfect boyfriend—funny, handsome, protective, all that—and you guys still think Peter Parker is the ‘Ideal Boyfriend’ pffft. Get real.” *turns back to you* “anyway, where were we?”

★ This overgrown man child is a PDA enthusiast. Unashamed of hugging, kissing, or trying to dip you during a playful dance in public. He doesn’t care, he’s proud to be with you and wants everyone to know it. “You know what this sidewalk needs? A spontaneous make out session”

★ One hundred percent would insist on wearing matching or theme outfits. Whether it’s full on costumes or something little like matching socks. “Ta-Da! Matching Taco Cat shirts—no, no. Don’t fight it. This is how we show the world we’re a team. Through peak fashion choices.”

★ Loves movie nights. They’re full of commentary, with your boyfriend narrating or making fun of the movie plots. He’d insist on watching rom-coms or action movies for sure.

★ You’ll receive unconventional love letters in the form of doodles, short jokes, or notes saying “I love you more than The Golden Girls. And that’s saying something. ;)”

★ Wade is a pretty chill dude. He’s not overboard with jealousy. But that won’t stop the man from making his classic (not so jokey) jokes when he feels like someone might be getting too close to you. “Oh, flirting? With you? Cute. Should I go over there and casually mention that I’m the love of your life and also really good with sharp objects?”

★ Beneath all the jokes and chaos, he has moments of genuine, heartfelt affection. Whispering his love and gratitude for you at unexpected times. “I know I never take shit for real. But I’m serious about you, about us. You’re my safe space, the one part of my life that makes sense on this stupid chunk of rock floating in space.”

★ Remembers odd little details about you. Showing it with unexpected gifts that align perfectly with your interests. (Even if they’re a bit off beat.) “I saw this super limited edition action figure of (favorite character). I had to get it for you—don’t ask me how, just say thank you and let’s run—“

★ Randomly belting out terrible renditions of love songs at the top of his lungs, just to get a laugh from you.

★ Acts tough for your amusement, like he’ll pretend to be all macho around your friends to make you laugh. “Yeah babe, I’m like, indestructible. Just gotta…” *struggles to open a jar of pickles* “wait—hold on. This jar is definitely cheating…”

︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶

NSFW 🍆💦

★ Wade love love LOVESSS making you watch while playing with your pussy. Using his mouth, fingers and all kinds of cute little toys.

★ Tying your hands together, behind your back and sitting you in front of the mirror with your legs spread wide as he slowly circles your clit with a bullet vibrator, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “You see how fucking wet you are for me, baby?” “Look. At. This~” “did I say to look away? Didn’t think so…”

★ He’s into all kinds of crazy shit—high key an exhibitionist.

★ Fucking you in a theatre bathroom, pressing you up against the stall while he covers your mouth, dipping the head of his cock teasingly into your aching cunt.

★ “I don’t give one shit if someone hears us, I need you. Now.” “Shhh baby, gotta stay quiet if you wanna cum.” “Stay still now…”

★ Eating you out in the back of the car, hands kneading your plush thighs while looking up at you with that knowing, shit-eating grin. Not even bothering to wipe you from his chin.

★ Struggling to keep your eyes on the man, a red flush taking over your face as the vibrations of his groans send shocks of pleasure through your entire body.

★ Fingering you under the table/using a remote control vibrator on you when you’re out having dinner. “Yeah that’s it for me and uh, what about you babe?” He asks nonchalantly, as if he weren’t bumping the bullet to its highest intensity or running his fingers over your panty clad pussy. All the tasty stuff. It’s the thrill of almost being caught for him.

★ Baby girl also LOVES when you take control. Straddling him, tying him up to the bed, slapping his face. He’s fucking into it.

★ F-fuckk~ wan—wanna touch you so bad~” he whimpers, hips bucking involuntarily while you ride him, bouncing in his lap with your hands on his shoulders and his cuffed. “Mmff—need to cum…please, please—I’ll do whatever you wa—aaah, fffuck!”

★ Wade loves to buy you new toys/lingerie sets all the time! He’ll come through the door with a bag full of new things to try out or on. “Oh, come on—put the bunny ears on…I’ll let you do that one thing you like.”

★ Costumes, dressing up, role play. Cops and robbers, Professor and student, Master and pet. He loves that shit and has a lot of fun with it.

★ “You have the right to remain silent, on your knees, now.” He’ll smirk, cuffing your hands behind your back, trailing a finger down your cheek before fucking your face. “Cock hungry bitch, aren’t ya? Such a good girl…” he croons, pulling at your leash.

★ “You call that begging, honey? Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but you’re gonna have to be louder than that if you want me to fuck you silly.” He teases, sending a sharp smack to your ass while prodding at your slick pussy with his shaft, making you arch and whine out for him.

★ If you’re into it, he has no issue with knife/gun play. “How does it feel…?” he purrs into your ear, slowly sliding the cold metal up your stomach, circling your belly button before trailing up your chest, then collarbone, pressing the blade/barrel to your throat/temple. “Scary? Hot? Scary-Hot?”

★ Loves making you squirt, finger fucking you into oblivion, thumb pressed against your clit until you can’t take anymore. “Fuck yeah, baby.” He pants, bringing his fingers up to his mouth and cleaning them with a simple ‘pop’.

★ “Mhhh…” Wade hums in delight before shoving the same fingers into your mouth—pushing past your teeth, forcing you to taste yourself with a groan “You’re so yummy, don’t you think?”

★ If you’re being a brat, expect proper punishment. “Oooh, talking back to me, huh?” He’ll ask, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to keep eye contact. “Watch that damn mouth of yours, pretty bitch. And keep riding me—I didn’t say stop.”

★ He’ll make you grind your hips until you’re sore. It’s so fucking good it hurts. “Awww, my poor baby…look at you crying and riding. You must be exhausted, hmm?” Wade grunts, bouncing you on top his lap as if you were a rag doll. His cock slamming into you, hitting that sweet spot—never missing a beat. “Keep going—be a good girl and keep going…”

★ Once you’re both a spent, panting, boneless mess beside each other, he’ll shower you with praise and pepper your face with kisses, combing your unkempt hair with his fingers as he caresses your arm.

★ Wade would set up a diy spa in the bathroom for you. Complete with cucumber slices, a glass of wine (or whatever you want) and a bath that’s wayyy too bubbly. He’d try and give you a foot massage while joking “Only the royal treatment for my queen. Minus the actual royalty…those guys were more fucked up than half of Alabama…”

👽:I wanna be SAVED Deadpool PLEASEEEE SLUT ME OUTTTT

[multi-fandoms-posts]

Unexpected Visitor(but somehow not)

X Men Masterlist

It is a quiet afternoon in the small, secluded cabin that Y/N and Logan call home. The sun casts golden light through the windows, and a peaceful silence fills the air, interrupted only by the soft breathing of the baby sleeping in Y/N’s arms. Logan sits beside her on the couch, looking at the tiny figure with a look of sincere tenderness that few have ever seen on him.

“She’s beautiful,” Y/N murmurs softly, so as not to wake the baby.

Logan nods and gently strokes a finger over the tiny hand of their newborn child. “Yes, she is. Just like her mother.”

A smile touches Y/N’s face as she leans against Logan. It’s hard to believe that this moment of peace and happiness is truly their life. After all the struggles and dangers they’ve faced together, this serene family life seems almost like a dream.

But that dream is abruptly interrupted when the door bursts open with a loud bang and Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, storms in without warning. He is carrying an oversized baby carrier filled with colorful toys, and a silly baby hat with a wiggling propeller sits on his head.

“Daddy Logan and Mommy Y/N!” Wade exclaims enthusiastically, throwing his hands up in the air. “I’m here to entertain the baby and give you some parenting tips!”

Logan sighs deeply and closes his eyes for a moment, as if preparing himself to deal with Wade. “Wade, the baby is sleeping. Can you maybe… be a little quieter?”

Wade makes a face and loudly whispers, “Oh, of course! Sorry. I forgot you’ve gone soft now.”

Y/N suppresses a laugh and shakes her head. “Wade, this isn’t a toy store. We’re trying to get her to sleep.”

Wade sneaks closer and glances at the sleeping baby in Y/N’s arms. His expression softens for a moment, almost tender, before he suddenly reverts to his usual grinning mask. “She’s cuter than a frosting burrito! But seriously, folks, I never thought I’d see Logan as a loving dad. What happened to the wild Wolverine, huh?”

Logan lets out a soft growl, but Y/N soothingly places a hand on his shoulder. “He’s still the same Logan. Just with a new job being a dad.”

“I bet you’ve even learned how to change diapers, huh?” says Wade grins

Logan takes a deep breath to stay calm, “Yes, Wade. And if you don’t stop, you’ll be changing them next.”

“Don’t worry, big guy,” Wade grins back. “I’m just here to see if you now have a pacifier instead of your claws. But hey, I get it. Fatherhood can soften you up. But where’s the fun if you don’t stir up a bit of chaos now and then?”

“Wade,” Y/N begins patiently as she adjusts the baby into a more comfortable position, “we really just want some peace and quiet. You know this is new for us, right?”

Wade pretends to think, then nods as if he’s had a great idea. “You’re right! You need time to adjust to the new life. So I’ll be on my best behavior today. Promise!”

Logan looks at him skeptically. “I doubt that means anything good from you.”

But Wade ignores the comment and sits in an armchair opposite Y/N and Logan. He watches the baby attentively as she continues to sleep peacefully.

“You know, Logan,” Wade starts after a while, “I never thought you’d become so… tamed. But somehow, it suits you. The big, gruff Wolverine as a loving dad. It’s almost… heartwarming.”

Logan rolls his eyes, but it’s Y/N who responds. “Wade, life changes. People change. And Logan has always been more than just his claws.”

Wade nods in agreement. “Well, I guess I have to accept that. But tell me one thing, Logan what will you do when the little one gets a boyfriend? Will you show him your claws? Or maybe your best ‘I’ll tear you apart’ look?”

Logan smirks and replies in a dry tone, “I’ll show him that I’m very, very old and can be very, very dangerous. That usually suffices.”

Wade laughs loudly and nods approvingly. “I like that, Daddy Logan. Strict but fair.”

The baby stirs in Y/N’s arms and slowly opens her eyes as if awakened by Wade’s laughter. She looks up at Logan. “I’ll put her to bed,” murmurs Logan as he carefully stands up and takes the baby from Y/N. Wade watches him with an almost reverent look as Logan gently presses the little girl to his chest and takes her to her room.

Once Logan is out of earshot, Wade leans closer to Y/N and whispers conspiratorially, “He’s really gone soft, hasn’t he? The Wolverine we knew would have thrown me through the wall by now.”

Y/N laughs softly and shakes her head. “He’s still himself. But the love for our child has changed him in a way you might understand someday, Wade.”

Wade shrugs and puts his usual mask back on. “Maybe, maybe not. But I have to admit he’s not doing so badly as a dad. And if it comes down to it, I can always lend him a handful of grenades to keep the boys away.”

Y/N rolls her eyes. “Please, Wade. Leave the grenades out.”

Logan returns to the living room after successfully getting the little one to sleep. He gives Wade a warning look before sitting back down next to Y/N.

“You’re not actually planning to be quiet today, are you?” Logan asks, eyeing Wade warily.

Wade raises his hands in an innocent gesture. “I’ve been very restrained! But you have to admit, I’m the best babysitter option you have. No one else will take care of the little one as well while you get a break.”

Logan snorts. “Wade, if you ever babysit our child, I’ll make sure you’re under constant supervision.”

Wade grins widely. “Deal! But I bet she’ll love me. I mean, who can resist this face?”

Y/N tilts her head and regards Wade thoughtfully. “Alright, Wade. Maybe we’ll let you babysit sometime when we’re sure you can behave. But until then… maybe you could just keep us company without causing chaos.”

Wade pretends to bow. “A task I will undertake with pride! But if you ever need a bit of action, you know where to find me.”

Logan and Y/N exchange amused smiles as Wade settles into his chair and actually remains a relatively quiet guest for the rest of the afternoon. Of course, they know this won’t last forever. Wade remains Wade always ready with a crazy comment or an even crazier idea.

But for now, in this moment, everything is perfect. They are together as a family and even Wade somehow fits in.

[lovemybluebully]

Over My Dead Body

Got writer's block on the fic I mentioned with X23 so I wrote this to keep my creative juices flowing. 😁 Hope you guys don't mind. lol I swear this was just going to be a little drabble, buuuuuuut I got carried away. It was just like, I have an idea! Oooh I have another idea! And then it just spiraled. 🤣 I suck at writing short fics. lol

Probably not my best work, but just a little silliness between these two guys. Another fic where Wade discovers Logan is ticklish and goes all out on him. I very much enjoy tickle origin fics. 🥰

Again some somewhat movie spoilers, but if you haven't seen the biggest movie in the world by now then that's your fault. lol Then of course the typical foul language and Deadpool's dirty mouth.

"Deadpool and Wolverine"-verse

M/M Tickle Fic

Word Count: 5,139

"Fucking give me that remote, Wilson!" Logan let out a teeth-bared snarl while chasing Wade comically around and around the couch like in a Scooby Doo cartoon.

"But baby cakes, I want to watch 'Touched By An Angel'! Wade snickered, managing to stay just one step ahead.

"Fuck that shit! This is the final round for the Flames in the Stanley Cup, and I am NOT missing it!" He finally caught up to Wade and took him down with a flying tackle of heavy adamantium as they both crashed to the floor and the tv remote went sailing out of reach.

Logan quickly scrambled to his feet as he made a break for it, but Wade successfully grabbed his leg to trip him as he hit the floor again with the merc now up and giggling as he ran to claim the prize.

"Yessss! Home run! And the crowd goes wild!" Wade mimicked the sounds of a cheering stadium while triumphantly holding the remote over his head. However, this was instantaneously followed by a loud growl from Logan as he charged his roommate like a bull and slammed into him harder than a Mack truck.

Wade didn't have time to yelp as his body went flying across the room though the remote had been knocked from his grasp and dropped to the ground, exploding the case open as the batteries all popped out. Logan reached down to pick it all up, shaking his head in annoyance as he walked back over towards the couch and tried to jam the batteries back in properly.

"Motherfucking idiot. Just sit your stupid ass down and take the L. I'm putting on the hockey game and that's that."

But Wade wasn't through yet. He was having too much fun with this! He was always trying to get Logan to roughhouse and play with him, but with the X-man being such a stiff it was hard to get him to let loose. Alcohol usually played a big factor in getting Logan to loosen his inhibitions and engage, but at the current moment he was sober as a judge. 

Pissing him off was the next best thing, and Wade loved a good chase and the physical contact, even if it was of the more painful variety. They had a rule about not spilling any blood inside the apartment, but he knew Logan could be pushed too far sometimes and forget about that so Wade would usually back off before he reached that point.

Though at this present time he had only antagonized him a little bit so he knew Logan would be able to tolerate him just a smidge more.

Logan's hypersensitive ears easily picked up the sound of the energetic man coming at him again as he turned around just as Wade plowed all of his weight into him to tackle him onto the couch. Wade quickly took the position to straddle the man's thighs and started making grabs for the remote as growling curses were hurled at him.

"Goddammit! You juvenile fucking moron! Just back off! The only way you're getting this is over my dead body!"

"Bet," Deadpool nodded and kept up in his efforts.

As they played slap-hands fighting to get a hold of the controller it slipped from their grip, hitting Logan in the face on its way down before sliding inside his collar down into his button-up overshirt.

"Nice going, captain loser. Don't worry, I'll get it!" Wade immediately went after it as he haphazardly began squeezing and poking around Logan's midsection as he tried to find the location of the remote hidden beneath the fabric.

As irritated as he was Logan now found that he had a new problem as his body started involuntarily reacting to the way Wade was grabbing at him. It was making his skin crawl. Shivers running up his spine as he began to writhe underneath the other man, trying to avoid the touches.

"Stop squirming, would you? You're making this way harder than it has to be. And I can't find the remote either," Wade teased, always managing to slip in inappropriate innuendos, but Logan was too occupied to make a sarcastic retort as he frantically tried to grab and get control of Wade's busy hands.

"Q-Quit it, shithead!" Logan gritted through his teeth as Wade just clucked his tongue and shook his head.

"Oh c'mon! Stop fighting it and just give it up!" Wade's words held a double meaning in this situation as his hands moved lower, giving the grump a particularly firm squeeze around his hips as Logan couldn't hold it in anymore. 

His back arched off the couch accompanied by a loud snort; his nose scrunched as a soft string of giggles tumbled their way out. 

Upon hearing that Wade immediately stopped what he was doing; practically frozen in shock as he stared down at the bigger male below him. After a few long, tense moments a slow grin of realization started to spread over his face and Logan was suddenly overcome with a feeling of immense dread at what was about to transpire.

"Did...Did you just giggle?"

"....No," was all Logan could say lamely; his uneasy mind not allowing him to come up with anything else as Wade only smiled more.

"Now here's the plot twist that I never would have expected. You wanna tell me what that was all about? Forgive me if I'm finding it difficult to believe that a hardened tough guy like you could possibly be, dare I say it.....ticklish."

Logan's eyes betrayed him as they widened in pure terror; his brain frantically trying to figure out a solution to get him out of this mess, but his silence told more than enough.

"Ohohoho, you are, aren't you? Well this just made things a lot more sexy...I mean, interesting," Wade stroked his own chin, pondering the situation while Logan finally regained his wit and was now on the rebound to try to deny it.

"What? Are you kidding? Tch! I am not ticklish. Where the fuck do you come up with such stupid ideas?" He made his best attempt to sound convincing, but Wade could easily see right through his bullshit.

"I gotta tell you that all sounds exactly like something a ticklish person would say. A pitiful performance like that isn't going to win you any Oscars," Wade smirked before his eyes then drifted back down to Logan's torso, "Oh dear. It looks like the remote has fallen inside your shirt. Whatever shall we do?"

Wade was gently tugging at the front of his shirt as Logan narrowed his eyes.

"Just get offa me and I'll get it myself. Quit looking for excuses to grope me, ya fucking pervert," Logan growled deeply with his characteristic hard-as-nails Wolverine glare, trying to be as off-putting as possible to hopefully get Wade to lose the notion.

"But it's so confusing when your mouth says 'no', but your eyes say 'yes'," Wade grinned, giving a light tickle to Logan's sides that made him flinch, "By the way, what do you want your safe word to be?"

"Touch me and I will cut your useless motherfucking head off, Wilson."

Wade laughed chaotically and shook his head.

"Now that's kind of a mouthful to say. You should pick something easier like 'umbrella' or 'avocado' or 'supercalifragilisticexpialidocious'-"

Logan realized he was running out of time for stalling and was now struggling to push Wade off of him before he could actually carry out this heinous act, but the merc simply shoved his arms aside and launched his attack, tickling wildly along his ribcage.

"Oh I get it! You don't want a safe word! Very kinky! I like your style! Well you did say the only way I was getting the remote was over your dead body. Who knew it was going to be death by tickling?"

Logan made a strained grunting noise as he steeled himself and began writhing about, still fighting to force Wade off despite the fingers running along his ribs. He in no way wanted to give Wade the satisfaction of making him laugh and would hold it in for as long as he could.

"Looks like we've got a tough guy, ladies and gentlemen," Wade grinned, momentarily looking out at the camera then turning back to his victim, "You know in all the fanfics I've read it's always the toughest guys that are the most ticklish of all. Look at you doing everything in your power not to laugh. How cute. Too bad you're not going to be able to keep that up. I pretty much wrote the book on 'lerring."

Wolverine had no idea what that meant but could hardly fathom the idea that he was going to have to listen to Wade's annoying jabbering and teases without being able to give him a piece of his mind. Because if he even dared to open his mouth it was game over and he was going to fucking lose it.

"So are you like one of those guys who are only ticklish around here...," Wade squeezed and massaged into his sides as an involuntary grin stretched across Logan's face while keeping his jaw clenched, "Or are you one of those head-to-toe ticklish kinda guys? I'm betting the latter."

While still keeping one hand digging into his side Deadpool now reached up to teasingly trace his fingers with a feather-light touch over Logan's ear and down his neck as the man wrenched his head away and scrunched up his shoulder to try to cover up that side of his head.

"Ooooh so sensitive. Am I going to have some fun with you. All we're missing is the sweet sound of your laughter. C'moooooooon just let it out already. You're not embarrassed of your laugh, are you? I'm sure it's wonderful. Don't be shy now, it's just the two of us here."

Every word that came out of Wade's mouth was slowly eating away at Logan's resolve along with his mental capacity to resist the laughter building up inside of him. Giving into Wade's demands was not high on his list of favorable activities, but he knew it was about to happen whether he wanted it to or not.

"You are one hard nut to crack, I'll give you that. But that's okay, it's just going to make breaking you even sweeter. Heheh, look how red your face is. You look like you're about to explode. I just need to find the right spot to poke that bubble and free you of your burden. Hmmm, I think I know where....," Wade smirked big time as he changed tactics to thrust his hands underneath Logan's arms and furiously tickle into his armpits.

The battle was finally over. Logan had fought for as long as he possibly could, but he just couldn't take it anymore. With Wade having honed in on one of his most sensitive areas he felt his lips make one last valiant effort to stay sealed as they trembled right before releasing his loud, pent-up outburst.

"HAHAHaahaha! AhahahahaStop! Stahahahap ihihhit!" Logan hollered as he managed to shove Wade's hands out of his pits, though they immediately latched onto his waist and dug right in. Wade was beyond pleased with this turn of events.

"Ahhhh there it is. And it's just as adorable as I imagined. See? Nothing to be embarrassed about," Wade's grin encompassed his whole face as he didn't let up and kept kneading his thumbs right above Logan's hips.

"I wahahahasn't embahahaharrassed, ya dehehehense fuhuhuhucking prihihihiiick!  Gahahahahaa! Just didhihihidn't wahahahaha-wahant to gihihihive you the sss-satisfahahahaction!" Logan struggled to speak clearly through his laughter as he twisted and squirmed, trying to wriggle out from under the other man.

"Well mission failed, my little stud muffin. I can't believe you've been hiding your ticklishness from me all this time. Think of all the fun we're going to have together now!" Wade exclaimed with pure glee as he moved back up to the ribs now that he was receiving the reactions he wanted, making Logan cackle uncontrollably.

"Fuhuhuhuhuuuuck!! Okaahahahay! You gohohohohot meheheee! I'm tihihihicklish! Now fuhuhuhuhuhuck ohhohohoff!" Logan's hysterical proclamation was accompanied by a series of hard snorts, making Wade's face light up even more.

"You're a snorter?! Oh that's just so precious! How can you expect me to fuck off after hearing that?! Nononono, I think I will keep fucking on, thank you very much! Besides if I stop now then this will be the shortest tickle fic ever written!" He increased his speed, probing between every rib bone as he played his friend's sides like a ticklish piano.

Logan surprisingly laughed even harder, wheezing for air as he continued letting out a snort every few seconds with his burly arms pitifully clamped as tight as he could against his sides. Nothing was stopping the devilishly dexterous fingers of his hyper roommate though.

"Wihihihilsonaaahahahahah.......sssstooooohahahahahahooooop! I'll....I'll gihihihihive you ohohone lahahahast chaaa-EEEHEEHEEHeheheheheheeh!" Logan literally squealed much to his chagrin as he broke into high-pitched giggles with Wade switching spots to now claw mercilessly at his stomach and waist.

"Oh I've never heard a Wolverine squeal before. It's just the gift that keeps on giving. Definitely going to need that as my new ringtone. But hmmm, I think this could be better...," Wade mused as his fingers kept scratching over the buttons going down Logan's flannel shirt, no doubt hindering his tickling efforts if only a little.

In the next second he grabbed Logan's overshirt and pulled hard in opposite directions to pop all the buttons as the remote was finally freed and clattered to the floor. The mercenary smirked as he saw that Logan wasn't wearing anything underneath as his hairy, heavy-muscled torso was now on full display.

Logan was grateful that it had all stopped and the remote was now nowhere near him as he leaned his head back and tried to catch his breath.

"........Fuck......Okay.....You win you win. Just take the fucking thing.....and go ahead and watch your stupid ass shoHOHohOhOHOhoW! NAAAAHOHOHOHOOOOO!!"

Logan had thought it was over, but his momentary sparkle of hope vanished instantly as Wade paid the controller no mind and lunged for him again.

"Ahh yes, that's much better! Now I can really get my hands in here!" Wade smirked in delight with his fingers currently buried and wriggling into Logan's armpits while the feral man roared with deep belly laughs before fizzling into helpless wheezes.

"Ohoho you're very tickly here, aren't you? Bet you wish you would've chosen a safe word now, huh? Or not. Maybe you're enjoying this. Is that it? Don't lie to me now."

"I'm gohohohohonna fffffff-aaahahahhahahah.....fuhuhuhucking k-kihihihill yooooou!" Logan wheezed out as he weakly smacked at Wade's arms and haphazardly kicked his legs around.

"Awww don't be mean, peanut. I just can't get enough of the sound of your laugh. That's not a crime, is it?"

Logan couldn't remember having ever been tickled like this. It had been so long since he'd been this close to anybody, and his memory of such things was pretty fuzzy of anything that happened before his regrettable incident. After those events he'd become even more withdrawn and had fallen deep into depression from the unbearable guilt he felt, confident that he never deserved to be happy again.

And then this annoying little fucker appeared at that bar one day and dragged him on the wildest, most fucked up adventure he could ever recall being on. If at the beginning of all that someone had told him that Wade and he were going to become great friends then he would have laughed right in their face.

But it did happen, and Logan was taken-aback to finally be around someone again who actually cared about his well-being. Someone who wanted the best for him and to make sure that he knew that he mattered. Someone who wanted nothing more than for him to be happy.

And Deadpool was always trying to make him laugh. The look of genuine happiness on Wade's face was unmatched whenever one of his jokes managed to land and make Logan chuckle. The X-man seemed to smile a lot more these days, but laughing was still a rare occurrence for him, which is why Logan was so defensive against the tickling that was currently causing him to do so.

But could he say with complete honesty that he truly hated all this? The answer irked him a little bit because it was no, he didn't hate it, but he was conflicted because he still didn't think he should be allowed to feel pure joy again. 

He felt that guilt come up again when he admitted to himself that laughing like this actually felt good. He didn't deserve to feel good. Ever. But obviously Wade had a difference of opinion on that. Wanting him to smile. Wanting him to laugh. Wanting him to let go of his guilt and be happy in this universe that undoubtedly wouldn't be here without him.

"Don't think I forgot about this little sweet spot!"

Wade brought him out of these thoughts rather quickly once he began scribbling all ten fingers over his taut, bare stomach as the Wolverine tossed his head back in howling laughter with his eyes squeezed shut and tears forming in the corners of them.

"Coochie coochie coo! Awwww wittle Wolvie is so ticklish! Yes, he is! Yes, he is!" The merc cooed playfully, knowing all these teases were key to breaking down Logan's mental barriers. And it was working as Logan finally stopped feeling sorry for himself and just gave into it all.

"W-Waaade nooooo! Aahahahahahaah! Cuhuhuhut it ohohhohout! Pleeheheheheeease!"

The merc cocked his head in amusement, having never heard Logan even come close to begging for anything before.

"Oooooh this really is a killer spot, isn't it? Is this rock-hard belly of yours the most ticklish of all? How ironic," Wade mused while absentmindedly squirming a finger down into his navel, making Logan buck strongly and shriek with unrestrained giggles.

"Shihihihiiiiit! Aaaheehehehehehee! Noohohohooot in thehehehere! Fohohor fuhuhuhucks saahaahaakeheehehehehehahahah-st-stoohahahahop tihihihickling! You're kihihhihillin' meheeheehee!"

Wade's stomach did a little somersault at how vulnerable Logan was now being with him. It was all he ever wanted was to see his friend let go of all his anger and self-loathing of the past and surrender himself to the present day. 

Logan was laughing freely now. He wasn't grinding his teeth and trying to hold anything in anymore and he even stopped really fighting to get Wade off of him.  His face and chest were flushed, tears running down his cheeks as he just laid there in a squirming heap with his wide-open mouth releasing endless peals of laughter and pleas for mercy.

In all honesty Wade didn't want to stop just so he could keep Logan in this state for as long as possible where he was freed from the prison of his own mind, though he knew that he'd have to let him go eventually. Still not quite this second.

"Stop? But I couldn't possibly! Look how happy it's making you! I'd be an asshole to rob you of that! Lucky for you I'm such a good friend, huh?! Tickletickletickletickle! Laugh it up, buddy!" He kept ruthlessly tickling his heaving belly while his other hand slid up to creep back into his armpit, rendering Logan into a powerless wheezing wreck.

"Nohohohooot fahahahaaair! Baahahhhahahaha! Wahahade pleeeease! I cahahahaa-cahahaan't tahahake anymohohohore! Uhuhuhuhuncle!"

Between Wade's unrelenting yapping and Logan's loud fits of laughter they both failed to hear the sound of the front doorknob rattling right before it opened and in walked Dopinder with several plastic bags of take-out in his hands.

"Hello? Your UberEats order is here, Mr. Logan. I've got your hot wings and your pizza rolls and your-AAAH!!" Dopinder let out a scream as he rounded the corner to find Wade straddling and feeling up a howling, red-faced and bare-chested Wolverine. 

Upon hearing the terrified cry Wade immediately paused what he was doing as he looked back over his shoulder like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Uhh heeeey Dopinder. Ummm.....This isn't what it looks like.....," he had a guilty look on his face, but quickly revealed his facade as he broke into a devious grin, "Just fucking with you! It's totally what it looks like!"

"And-And what exactly does it look like?" The younger man dared to ask despite his better judgement.

"Well you see Dopinder when two men start living together they begin to develop these feelings; feelings that cause them to get these strong urges that they just can't ignore and-," Wade's tirade of nonsense was cut off as Logan took the opportunity to give him a hard shove and flip him over the back of the couch between pants for air

"Fucking idiot. Don't...freak out, kid. The asshole....was just ticklin' me...is all," Logan breathlessly grunted while moving to take a normal seated position on the couch as Wade then popped his head up from the back.

"That's what he wants to call it. Wanna get in on this action, Dopinder?"

"Oh uhh hehe, n-no thank you. I actually have some more deliveries to get finished. Ermm, next time perhaps," he stuttered nervously as he gingerly placed the food down onto the coffee table in front of them and began to make his exit from the apartment.

"Don't think I'm not holding you to that," Wade teased, making his former cab driver blush and dart out through the door as Wade chuckled and nudged Logan in the shoulder, "Hehehe, did you see how flustered he got? I'll bet he's even more ticklish than you are."

"Leave the kid alone, Wilson. You'd probably kill him. He doesn't have a healing factor like I do," Logan snorted, bunching up his shoulders as Wade lightly ran a finger across the back of his neck.

"Ohh I can be gentle if I want. But I'm pretty sure you're the kind of guy who likes it rough," Wade teased as he moved around to the front of the couch to sit next to the other man, surprised to hear Logan let out a low chuckle.

"Was that a laugh? Nice to see you finally start to appreciate my elite level of humor. Maybe I won't have to start with the daily tickle sessions after all."

Logan made a face at that and lifted his brow.

"Daily? Yeah fuck no, that ain't happening. Once in a while......fine. But I don't think I could take it every day," he mentally shivered thinking about what Wade just put him through.

"Tell you what, you start laughing a little more at my jokes and I'll consider it. But no fake laughing! Because I can tell the difference! Especially now that I know what your real laugh sounds like and let me tell you it's going to be hard for me to get enough of it," Wade experimentally grabbed his knee, giving it a firm squeeze and digging his fingers in around the kneecap as Logan instantly wheezed out a laugh and quickly wrenched the hand off of him.

"Alrihight! I get it! Promise I'll try!"

"I guess that's all I can ask of you. Of course I'm still making it my mission to find everywhere else you're ticklish, and what other really bad spots you have.....unless you just want to tell me," Wade suggested with a grin as Logan just smirked right back.

"Now where'd be the fun in that?"

"You know, you are so right, you smug little honey badger. I gotta say though I'm liking this mood you're in now."

"Well it's your fault. Ya tickled me so bad I couldn't even think straight. Seems like you pushed all the negative thoughts right outta my mind," Logan confessed as Wade began to reconsider his earlier promise.

"Is that so? Hmmm maybe those daily tickle sessions are a good idea after all...," Wade teased just to watch Logan squirm at the thought again.

"I don't think so, bub. Besides, look what ya did," he gestured to his wide-open shirt, pointing at all the areas missing buttons, "You ruined my favorite fucking shirt, dickhead."

"Hardly. You've got like twenty of the exact same one. That's all you ever wear," Wade was quick to point out as Logan just shrugged with a smile.

"So? What's your point?"

"My point is you're a walking fashion disaster. But okay, I'll try not to be so rough next time. We can do the gentle stuff if you prefer. So for research purposes can you tell me how you feel about feathers, hm?" He grinned as he saw Logan shift uneasily in his seat.

"You're gettin' a little crazy now, Wilson."

"Oh c'moooon, just imagine a nice, fluffy feather teasing that big ol' neck of yours.....circling your little tummy button....stroking the backs of your knees.....threading between all your toes....I can't imagine that your feet were spared of your adorable weakness."

"Wade...."

"Oooh! What about raspberries?! Those are fun! Bet it would drive you insane if I blew them on your belly. How about we test that out really quick?" Wade took a deep breath and started leaning towards him with his eyes locked onto his stomach.

"Alright cut it out!" Logan's hand caught him by the face and shoved him kind of hard, though couldn't stop himself from chuckling as he shook his head, "Fuckin' hell, you've seriously got a career in how to mentally torture a guy."

"At your service," Wade tipped an invisible hat as he then surveyed all the bags of food on the table in front of them, "So what did you order all of this for?"

"I told ya I was gonna watch the hockey game. Can't watch it without some proper snacks now," he reached into one of the bags and pulled out a tall can of beer as he popped the pull ring and took a long drink out of it while the other man began removing the take-out boxes.

"Chimichangas? Since when do you eat chimichangas?" Wade looked over at him questionably upon opening one of the containers as Logan gave him a half-smile.

"I got those for you, dumbass. Thought maybe you'd wanna hang out and watch the game with me." 

Wade was left momentarily speechless, truly touched by Logan's unexpected gesture.

"Well.....yeah of course. I'd love to. But how come you didn't ask me earlier?"

"Didn't get a chance to because you started bein' an idiot and going off about some other stupid show....'Touched By An Asshole' or something. What kinda pervy ass show is that anywaahaahaays?" Logan giggled, rubbing at his ribs where Wade had now just indignantly poked him.

"It's 'Touched By An Angel', you disrespectful twat. And it's a national treasure. But besides the fact that I've seen every episode, I didn't really want to watch it. I was just trying to get a rise out of you. You seemed tense," Wade admitted as Logan only shrugged and sipped from his beer can.

"When am I not?"

"Umm...Right now. Honestly I haven't you seen this relaxed in.....ever. Even when you're drunk sometimes you're still pretty moody," Wade pointed out as Logan took it in and knew he was right. He'd literally been forced into laughing off all of the burdens that he had carried for many years. His mind currently free from all the adverse feelings and troubles that he'd been endlessly plagued. 

The effects were likely not permanent but at least for the time being he felt good. Having to suffer through a vicious tickle attack to achieve that was more than worth it he decided.

"Hmph. Yeah. I guess you're right," a smile broke across Logan's face as he punched Wade in the shoulder, "Thanks asshole."

"Any time. And if you ever change your mind about the daily ticklings then I'm your guy," Wade was glowing from the actual genuine appreciation he'd just received from the normally cantankerous Wolverine.

"Heh. We'll see," Logan smirked as he bent over to pick up the remote off of the floor and turned on the television ahead of them, switching channels until he found the right one, "So do ya even like hockey?"

Wade nodded enthusiastically.

"Love it so much that I've never watched a game in my entire life," he said matter-of-factly before clapping his hands in excitement when he saw Dogpool trot into the room, patting the spot on the couch next to him as she jumped up.

Logan sighed as he handed his roommate a beer, realizing that the next few hours were going to be filled with Wade obnoxiously asking questions about every little thing that happened in the game. Though he couldn't help but smile as he watched the man-child start happily eating the chimichangas while simultaneously feeding little bits of them to his unusual looking dog.

Truth be told they all were an unusual bunch. Not just the three of them, but Blind Al, Peter, and Dopinder, to name a few. All these people that Wade had brought into his life and openly shared with him. Not to mention without Wade's intervention he never would have met Laura; someone he found he made a fast connection with and was now someone he cared deeply about.

Really Wade had rescued him that day. Rescued him from himself and gave him another reason to keep on living for. He felt his heart warm as he looked over at one of the side tables where Wade kept a framed photo of all of their friends; only now it was a new picture that included Logan, Laura and Mary Puppins in it.

Logan's smile grew as he reached over to pat the dog on the head before Wade made a whimpering noise and leaned his own head towards him to receive the same affection. He chuckled and obliged for a few moments before getting a wicked grin on his face as he snatched the hair piece off of Wade's head, prompting a momentary yelp of pain from the scarred man.

As the merc rubbed at his head while glaring over at him Logan found it impossible not to start laughing while jokingly dangling the toupee up in his hand. Wade then promptly broke into a smirk that told him he was dead, though even with that warning Logan made no attempt to escape.

Wade easily knocked him onto his back again to mercilessly tickle his sides while at the same time making the Wolverine shriek by blowing those promised raspberries into his stomach. And they tickled just as badly as Wade had said.

Yes, they were an unusual bunch, but they were his whole world now. And Logan was never going to let them down. Over his dead body.

[creativitysloyalservant]

i have decided to break my lack of original posting on this blog to bring you my Thoughts on Rot in Paradise. because i played it as soon as i got up this morning and i have scoured for some opinions after finishing it, and now i have my own!!

(and also i posted this on twitter but twitter has such a Shit wordcount that i'm also posting my things here with More Detail)

so! spoilers under the cut, please go and play the game if you haven't. it takes literally an hour (it only took nearly 2 hours for me because i like voice acting by myself and exploring every nook and cranny) and it's also free. so maybe come back into the tag once you're done.

okay, so i noticed quite a number of people being confused and disappointed on the lack of an explanation for the monster. it's brought up in the story as the central thing driving the plot, but it's never explained on what "she" is, why she's compelling people to eat a ton of fish-related food or hell, metal, and why this doesn't impact June at all.

but you know what I think?

i think that that's the point. the focus of rot in paradise isn't supposed to be on the monster.

yeah, it's the thing that pushes the plot along besides June and the gang going on vacation in this island. it's what's causing that uneasiness from the moment that guy grabs June's arm at the drinks, to the sheer unnerving feeling of witnessing people going to the ocean to get Raptured basically. i know i personally felt a chill when i saw that one dude literally eating chains and the other hauling an anchor, as if they're trying to make themselves heavier so they get taken by whatever She is.

but that's not the main point! the main conflict is about June and her friends.

as people have pointed out, this game is about toxic friendships and relationships! it's foreshadowed in the conversation that June has with the gang about her cousin (which i will also get into), and it carries it through the way her friends are horribly warped by this ocean Creature. June goes on a silly little vacation trip with her friends only for them to become so so different from themselves that they lash out at her and even hit her in McCoy's case.

but she still sticks it out with them. through the whole game, even despite their verbal abuse, despite being slapped, despite them being people that she can hardly recognise. she stays with them for the whole game, up until the point where you are given the two options at the very end. and she could still stay with them.

because they're still her friends. she cares about them even if they still hurt her. from the way June still tells Carmen to tell June if she needs anything after Carmen literally tells her to shut up and leave, the way June worries about Vonnie eating seafood even though she continues to stuff herself despite being implied to either hate or make an active choice to not eat seafood, to the way June still trudges out to sea screaming for McCoy to come back to the shore as he wades further in even after he slapped her until her nose bled.

it mirrors the conversation about her cousin, the reason for why June was looking forward to the vacation. that while she did comfort her cousin through all of it, June clearly says that "they were dickheads, and she should have ditched them a long time ago".

but it's funny, isn't it? that June, an outsider to her cousin's friend group, easily sees the pain that her cousin's friends are causing her, and immediately calls it as it is. that her cousin should have left the second they hurt her.

and yet now, when her friends hurt her, even though this was a quick and sudden change that happened in a span of three days, June still sticks around. her friends are dickheads right now, and we can see that in the way they interact with June, but she still stays.

because they're her friends. and how could she just leave them like this if it's something that's causing them to be this way?

so no, i don't think the monster is supposed to be the main picture. we don't need to know what it looks like, or why it needs to do this to the islanders, or how it's even doing it in the first place. it adds to the scariness of the game, as per the Spooktober Game Jam, sure, but that's not the point. might be a bit disappointing to some, but that's not the point.

the point is about June, and the choice that she needs to make at the end of the game.

it's a choice on whether she chooses to be pulled deeper into the tides and be with the friends who hurt her and will continue to hurt her in this way,

or to leave them to their fates, whether deserved or not, and resurface to a world where she's alone without her friends.

and even though the first choice hurts much more in the long run, doesn't the second hurt even more in the moment? knowing that you're alone at the end of all of this?

even if it is the right choice, i'm sure the pain must be unbearable in the moment.

[urdreamydoodles]

X-Men x Drunk!Reader (Part.2)

How they deal with their drunk s/o (Part.2)

A night out with your partner quickly turns wild as your tipsy self unleashes a little chaos around.

Characters: Wade Wilson, Cable, Hank McCoy, Colossus, Magik, Warren Worthington III, Alex Summers, Kitty Pryde, Jubilee, Psylocke, Sunspot, Lorna Dane, Domino, Dazzler & Morph

Wade Wilson aka. Deadpool

- Deadpool is absolutely thrilled by your drunk antics. The moment he notices you’re tipsy, he’s already planning a night of wild fun. He matches your energy effortlessly, encouraging every silly idea you come up with and joining in wholeheartedly. If you want to dance in the street, he’s right there, pulling off moves that are as chaotic as they are impressive.

- Your laughter and unfiltered words are music to Wade’s ears. You start complimenting him in the most exaggerated way possible, telling him he’s the funniest, hottest, most badass guy you’ve ever known. Wade pretends to be modest, fanning himself and swooning dramatically, but he’s genuinely touched by your words, even if they’re a bit slurred.

- You get the brilliant idea to dress Wade up in something ridiculous from a nearby shop, and he’s completely on board. Soon, he’s decked out in an assortment of scarves, sunglasses, and a feathery hat, posing for selfies with you. His confidence is unshakable, and the two of you end up laughing until you can’t breathe.

- When some passerby gives you a look for being loud, Wade immediately goes into “defense mode.” He makes a show of protecting your honor, using his humor and antics to both embarrass the person and make you laugh. “Nobody messes with my date,” he declares proudly, throwing an arm around you and grinning as if he just saved the day.

- At some point, you start getting sleepy, and Wade immediately notices, going from his usual zany self to surprisingly gentle. He’ll scoop you up in his arms, cracking a few jokes to make sure you’re still smiling, but his voice softens as he assures you he’ll get you home safely. You nestle into his shoulder, feeling oddly safe in his chaotic embrace.

- Once you’re home, Wade stays with you, making sure you have water and helping you settle into bed. His usual humor is still there, but there’s a quiet fondness in his actions. As he pulls the blanket over you, he murmurs, “You’re a riot, you know that?” and gives your forehead a gentle kiss before plopping himself down next to you to keep watch.

Nathan Summers aka. Cable

- Cable is instantly protective the moment he sees you’re tipsy. He’s not used to seeing you let loose like this, so he stays close, a steady presence by your side. His arm is there whenever you stumble or lean, and he keeps a watchful eye on your surroundings, not wanting anything to disturb your fun.

- You start poking fun at his serious demeanor, playfully calling him “Mr. Intense” and trying to get him to crack a smile. Despite himself, he can’t help but smirk at your efforts, even letting out a chuckle when you do an over-the-top impression of his voice. He finds your carefree attitude refreshing, even if he’s not used to it.

- Cable is a bit taken aback when you start rambling about how much you admire his strength and bravery, even calling him your “badass protector.” He’s not one for flattery, but he listens quietly, deeply moved by your words even if he doesn’t show it. He simply nods, giving your shoulder a reassuring squeeze as you continue.

- When someone tries to chat you up or gets a bit too close, Cable doesn’t hesitate to step in. He’s intimidating without even trying, and one look from him is enough to make the person back off. He keeps you close, his hand warm and solid on your back, murmuring, “You’re safe with me,” with a conviction that melts your heart.

- As the night winds down and you start getting drowsy, Cable insists on taking you home. He’s gentle as he helps you into his arms, carrying you like you weigh nothing. You rest your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, feeling safe in his protective hold as he walks you back with steady, assured steps.

- Once you’re home, Cable makes sure you’re comfortable, fetching water and making sure you have everything you need. He stays nearby, his usual stoicism softened as he watches over you. As you start drifting off, he brushes a hand over your hair, murmuring, “Get some rest, sweetheart,” his deep voice surprisingly tender.

Hank McCoy aka. Beast

- Hank is both amused and concerned when he realizes you’re drunk, but he quickly adjusts, taking on the role of caretaker. He’s attentive, making sure you’re hydrated and offering you food, all while chuckling softly at your slightly slurred words and bright laughter. He finds your uninhibited state endearing, and it brings out his own softer side.

- You start playfully teasing Hank about his formal vocabulary, trying to mimic his mannerisms. He laughs, his eyes crinkling with genuine joy, and he can’t help but join in on the joke. “Oh, my dear, your imitation is most extraordinary,” he says with mock seriousness, and you both dissolve into laughter.

- At some point, you become fascinated by his blue fur, running your fingers through it and complimenting how “soft and majestic” he is. Hank is taken aback but incredibly touched, his cheeks flushing a bit as he watches you. He’s used to people being put off by his appearance, so your admiration means the world to him.

- When you start to stumble a bit, Hank is right there, steadying you with gentle hands. He’ll hold you close, a reassuring presence, and softly remind you to take it easy. You lean into him, feeling safe and comforted by his warmth, and he can’t help but smile as he wraps an arm around you protectively.

- Your laughter and openness make Hank feel cherished in a way he rarely allows himself to feel. When you ramble about how amazing and brilliant he is, he listens with a quiet smile, moved by your words. He’ll thank you with his usual grace, but there’s a hint of shyness in his voice as he murmurs, “You’re far too kind, my dear.”

- Once it’s time to head home, Hank stays by your side, making sure you’re comfortable and safe. He’ll help you settle in, bringing you a glass of water and sitting by your side until you’re ready to sleep. As you drift off, he gently brushes a hand over your forehead, his voice soft as he promises to be there when you wake.

Piotr Rasputin aka. Colossus

- When Piotr sees you’re tipsy and a bit too carefree, he’s both amused and a little concerned. His protective instincts kick in immediately. Piotr has a heart as strong as his metallic form, so he keeps a gentle but firm hand on you, making sure you’re steady as you go about your playful antics.

- You start trying to pull him into a dance, tugging at his arm and laughing at his initial reluctance. Piotr is a bit bashful about dancing, but he can’t resist you. Soon enough, he’s twirling you around with surprising grace, his booming laughter mixing with yours as he finally lets loose, if only for you.

- As the night goes on, you start telling Piotr how incredibly handsome he is, even trying to guess just how many abs he has under that metal skin. He blushes, but he doesn’t mind your flattery one bit. He responds with a soft “Thank you, my love,” finding your compliments both sweet and funny in your tipsy state.

- When someone accidentally bumps into you a bit too roughly, Piotr is quick to step in, shielding you with his massive form. He doesn’t say a word, but his sheer presence is enough to make the other person back off. You give him a wide grin, playfully thanking your “knight in shining armor,” and he laughs, ruffling your hair.

- As you start getting sleepy, Piotr doesn’t hesitate to pick you up effortlessly, cradling you in his arms like you’re made of glass. You snuggle against his chest, murmuring contentedly, and he smiles softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he carries you back home, a picture of pure gentleness despite his imposing size.

- Once home, Piotr makes sure you’re comfortable, bringing you water and even a snack in case you’re hungry. He tucks you into bed, his hand gentle as he brushes back your hair. He sits beside you, watching over you with a look of pure adoration. “Sleep well, moya lyubov,” he whispers, his voice soft and tender as he stays by your side until you drift off.

Illyana Rasputin aka. Magik

- Illyana is endlessly entertained by your drunk state. She’s more than a bit mischievous herself, so she finds your loosened inhibitions delightful, even egging you on with that sly smirk of hers. She subtly encourages your antics, ready to jump in if anything gets too out of hand but thoroughly enjoying the chaos you’re bringing to the night.

- You start talking about how incredible she is, praising her strength, her magic, and her beauty in a rambling but heartfelt way. Illyana is not one for sentiment, but your words surprise and touch her. She scoffs at first, pretending not to be affected, but she quietly pulls you closer, her hand lingering on your arm a bit longer than usual.

- When you start playfully trying to mimic her powers, making “magic” gestures with your hands, she laughs—a rare, genuine laugh that’s both warm and amused. She indulges you by creating a small, glowing orb of magic just to watch your reaction. Seeing your face light up with wonder makes her smirk proudly, her icy exterior melting just a little.

- If anyone dares to mess with you or give you a hard time, Illyana’s eyes narrow, and her voice takes on an unmistakably dangerous edge. She doesn’t need to do much; her mere presence is enough to send most people scrambling. She wraps an arm around you protectively, her expression daring anyone else to try something.

- As you start getting tired, Illyana simply opens a portal, whisking you both away from the noise and chaos. You end up somewhere quiet and peaceful, surrounded by the glow of her magic. She sits beside you, her hand resting on yours as you lean against her, and for once, she doesn’t feel the need to say anything.

- Once you’re home, Illyana makes sure you’re comfortable, a bit awkwardly but with genuine care. She may not be the type to dote, but she brings you water and even reads a few spells to help soothe you to sleep. As she watches over you, her usual guarded expression softens, and she gently murmurs, “You’re a fool…but you’re my fool.”

Warren Worthington III aka. Angel

- Warren is a bit taken aback by how uninhibited you are after a few drinks. He’s used to being the one people rely on, but tonight it’s clear you’re the one who needs looking after. He finds it endearing, though, and doesn’t hesitate to step into the role of caretaker, his wings folded protectively around you whenever he senses you might stumble.

- You start excitedly talking about how amazing his wings are, going on about how he’s “literally an angel.” Warren chuckles, charmed by your enthusiasm. He unfurls his wings just for you, letting you run your fingers along the soft feathers. He finds your awe adorable, and he watches you with a soft smile as you marvel at his wings.

- Warren isn’t one for public attention, so when you try to get him to dance with you, he’s a bit hesitant. But seeing how happy it would make you, he agrees, guiding you onto the dance floor. He’s graceful, his movements fluid and smooth, and he holds you close, making you feel like you’re floating on air as he twirls you around with practiced ease.

- When someone tries to flirt with you, Warren’s usually calm demeanor slips, and he’s immediately by your side, politely but firmly making it clear that you’re taken. He wraps an arm around your waist, his wings flaring slightly, a subtle but unmistakable display of possessiveness that leaves no room for doubt. You give him a playful smile, teasing him about being jealous, and he just shrugs, pulling you closer.

- As you start getting sleepy, Warren lifts you effortlessly, his wings unfurling as he carries you. The feel of being held in his arms, surrounded by his wings, is both comforting and exhilarating, and you rest your head against his shoulder, feeling like you’re in the safest place in the world as he flies you both home.

- Once you’re settled in, Warren makes sure you’re taken care of, bringing you water and a blanket. He sits beside you, one wing draped over you protectively. As you drift off, he brushes a gentle kiss across your forehead, murmuring, “Goodnight, beautiful.” His soft words and the warmth of his wing create a cocoon of comfort that lulls you into the most peaceful sleep.

Alex Summers aka. Havok

- When Alex notices you’re a bit tipsy and carefree, he’s immediately on alert, but there’s also a spark of amusement in his eyes. Alex has a playful side, so he’s more than happy to keep an eye on you while letting you enjoy yourself, but he’s right there, ready to catch you if you trip or get too wild.

- You start playfully challenging him, telling him you could totally take on his energy blasts. He chuckles, teasing you back, saying, “You don’t know what you’re asking for, babe.” He eventually indulges you, showing off a small burst of his powers, and you’re captivated, clapping and cheering him on like his personal cheerleader.

- As the night goes on, you get bolder, dragging Alex onto the dance floor despite his protests. He’s a bit awkward at first but eventually warms up to the idea, twirling you around and even busting out a few moves that make you laugh. His easygoing nature shines through, and he can’t help but grin as he dances with you.

- When someone tries to flirt with you, Alex becomes fiercely protective, pulling you close and giving the person a look that says “back off.” He doesn’t need to say anything; his arm around your waist speaks volumes. You grin up at him, half teasing and half smitten, as he steers you away, his arm never leaving your side.

- Eventually, when you start to get sleepy, Alex scoops you up in his arms, carrying you with ease. He whispers jokes and light-hearted teasing in your ear, trying to keep you awake just a little longer, but it only makes you smile drowsily, snuggling against him as he carries you home.

- Once you’re safe and sound, Alex tucks you into bed, a soft smile on his face as he brushes a strand of hair from your face. He lingers a bit, watching you with a fond gaze before quietly whispering, “Sleep well, sweetheart.” His fingers trail over your hand for a moment, a gentle reassurance that he’ll be there when you wake up.

Kitty Pryde aka. Shadowcat

- Kitty finds your tipsy, carefree self incredibly adorable, and she can’t stop giggling at how playful you’ve become. She’s happy to go along with the fun, but she’s also quietly making sure you don’t get into too much trouble, always one step ahead in case you need her to phase you out of a sticky situation.

- You start going on about how awesome her phasing powers are, insisting that she has the coolest abilities of any X-Man. Kitty blushes a bit at your enthusiastic praise but secretly loves it. She phases her hand through a wall just to impress you, grinning when you gasp in awe.

- When you try to get her to dance with you, Kitty is more than willing. She’s got a playful side and loves that she can let loose with you. The two of you end up creating a goofy dance routine, laughing so hard you nearly fall over, and it’s clear that she’s enjoying every second of your time together.

- At one point, you jokingly challenge her to see who can walk through the most solid objects. Kitty laughs, holding your hand and phasing you both through a wall together. You’re both in fits of laughter on the other side, and she whispers, “We make a pretty unstoppable team, don’t we?”

- When you start to get a bit tired, Kitty offers to phase you back home, giving you a playful wink as she grabs your hand. The journey home feels like an adventure in itself, with her phasing you both through shortcuts and making you feel like you’re floating on air.

- Once you’re safely home, Kitty brings you some water and makes sure you’re comfortable. She sits beside you, stroking your hand softly as you start to drift off, whispering sweet little reassurances. She gives you a soft kiss on the forehead, murmuring, “Goodnight, love,” before phasing out of the room like a guardian angel.

Jubilation Lee aka. Jubilee

- Jubilee absolutely loves seeing you tipsy and carefree, and she’s all about bringing even more chaos into the night. She’s hyped up by your enthusiasm and immediately joins in, cracking jokes and egging you on with her signature mischievous grin.

- You start going on and on about how incredible her fireworks powers are, even suggesting that she put on a little light show just for you. Jubilee, of course, can’t resist, and she lets out a small burst of colorful sparkles that dance around you. She loves seeing your face light up in awe, and she gives you a little “ta-da” with a dramatic bow.

- When you both hit the dance floor, it’s pure, unfiltered chaos. Jubilee matches your energy perfectly, spinning you around, and even busting out some hilariously wild dance moves. You’re both laughing so hard you nearly collapse, and she keeps you close, her laughter echoing over the music as the two of you revel in the moment.

- Eventually, you get it in your head that you want to make everyone in the room your friend, and Jubilee happily helps you out, introducing you to random people and hyping you up. She playfully calls herself your “wingwoman,” and it’s clear that she’s enjoying every second of being part of your night’s shenanigans.

- When you start getting tired, Jubilee wraps her arm around your shoulders, guiding you out with a laugh. She creates little fireworks along the way, lighting up the path back home like a mini parade, and you can’t stop smiling at her dedication to making the night special for you.

- Once home, she grabs you some water and a snack, plopping down beside you with a grin. She keeps chatting with you, telling you funny stories and making you laugh until your sides hurt. Eventually, she tucks you in, leaning down to give you a sweet, gentle kiss on the cheek as she whispers, “Night, party animal. Sleep tight.”

Betsy Braddock aka. Pyslocke

- Betsy doesn’t mind letting loose every now and then, but seeing you so uninhibited and tipsy takes her by surprise. She’s amused and a little cautious, watching you with that poised, mysterious smile of hers. Still, she stays close, enjoying the show as you reveal your playful side, a side she rarely gets to see.

- When you start waxing poetic about how stunning she looks—even more than usual—she chuckles, her cheeks tinged with a slight blush. Betsy can’t help but be a bit flattered by your enthusiasm. She teases you about your "poetry skills," but she can tell that you mean every word, and it melts her usually guarded heart.

- You insist she show off her psychic knife, asking if she can make one for you, too. Betsy humors you by creating a small, harmless flicker of energy, making sure to keep you at a safe distance. You’re mesmerized, watching the glowing psychic blade in awe, and she finds it endearing how fascinated you are.

- When you suggest a dance, she’s initially hesitant but eventually gives in. With that elegant, graceful way of hers, Betsy leads you across the dance floor, guiding you effortlessly through the music. Even as you stumble or laugh, she’s right there, keeping you steady and making sure you have a good time.

- When someone makes an offhand comment about you, Betsy’s expression hardens instantly. She sends the person a piercing glare that’s enough to make anyone think twice, subtly standing protectively in front of you. You may not notice it in your tipsy state, but she’s got her watchful eye on everyone around, making sure you’re safe.

- Once you’re both back home, Betsy gently helps you out of your shoes, her touch tender as she cares for you. She brings you water, brushing her hand softly over your cheek as you start to drift off. Before leaving, she sits beside you, fingers tracing gentle patterns on your hand, whispering a soft, “Goodnight, love,” before making her way to the door, leaving you feeling safe and cherished.

Roberto da Costa aka. Sunspot

- Roberto finds your tipsy antics absolutely hilarious and can’t resist playing along. He’s laughing the entire time, keeping up with your energy and encouraging you with that charming, mischievous grin of his. If there’s anyone who loves a night of fun and chaos, it’s Roberto.

- You go on and on about how his solar-powered abilities are the coolest thing ever, insisting he show off. Roberto is more than happy to oblige, creating a small burst of flame in his hand just for you. He loves seeing your eyes widen in awe, and he playfully asks if you’d like him to light up the whole room, winking as you cheer him on.

- When you challenge him to a dance-off, Roberto is all in, no hesitation. He matches you move for move, spinning and twirling you with ease, laughing as you both let loose. You feel like the only two people in the world, his attention completely on you as he guides you across the dance floor like it’s your own personal party.

- Someone tries to cut in, and Roberto immediately places himself between you and the stranger, giving them a polite but firm smile. “Sorry, they’re with me.” His protective side shines through as he keeps his arm around you, making it clear to everyone else that you’re spoken for.

- When you start getting sleepy, Roberto insists on carrying you back to the car, making the journey feel like some grand, romantic adventure. He jokes about being your “knight in solar-powered armor,” and you can’t help but giggle as he makes dramatic declarations about keeping you safe.

- Back home, Roberto gently helps you get comfortable, bringing you a glass of water and sitting beside you with a warm, soft smile. He stays with you until you fall asleep, his hand holding yours, murmuring sweet, affectionate words in Portuguese, promising to be there for you every step of the way.

Lorna Dane aka. Polaris

- Lorna can’t help but laugh when she sees you tipsy and carefree. She’s usually the one in control, but seeing you this way brings out her more relaxed side. She’s right by your side the whole time, playfully teasing you but also making sure you’re safe and sound.

- You start gushing about how amazing her green hair and magnetic abilities are, saying she looks like some ethereal goddess. Lorna just chuckles, brushing her hair back a little as she accepts your compliments, enjoying every bit of your enthusiastic admiration. She might act like it’s nothing, but she loves how much you adore her unique qualities.

- When you ask her to “do something cool” with her powers, Lorna grins, indulging you by making small objects float around in the air. She even creates a little magnetic bracelet just for you, slipping it onto your wrist with a wink as you beam with excitement, promising to wear it as your "superpowered good luck charm."

- On the dance floor, Lorna keeps you close, guiding you with that gentle but confident touch of hers. She laughs softly every time you stumble or lose your balance, steadying you with a smile and a quick, reassuring squeeze of your hand. Her presence feels grounding, even in the chaos of the night.

- When someone tries to cut in or grab your attention, Lorna’s protectiveness kicks in. She uses her magnetic abilities subtly, creating a little magnetic field to guide the person away. You may not notice, but she’s fiercely guarding you the whole time, unwilling to let anyone disrupt your night together.

- Back home, Lorna makes sure you’re comfortable, brushing a hand through your hair and settling you into bed. She sits beside you for a while, stroking your cheek softly and watching over you as you drift off. Her voice is soft as she murmurs, “Sleep well, my love,” promising to be right there when you wake up, her devotion evident in every quiet, caring gesture.

Neena Thurman aka. Domino

- Domino finds your tipsy antics absolutely hilarious and encourages you to let loose even more. She’s always been a fan of chaos, and watching you dance and sing off-key is a welcome distraction from her usual intense life. With a wicked grin, she keeps the drinks flowing, ready to match your energy.

- When you start complimenting her on how badass she is, she raises an eyebrow, clearly flattered but playing it cool. “You’re just saying that because you’re drunk,” she teases, but her smile tells you she appreciates your admiration. The way you look at her ignites a spark of warmth in her heart, and she can't help but playfully flex her muscles.

- You challenge her to a game of chance, tossing dice or playing cards, and she dives in, ready to show off her luck manipulation. Every time she wins, she leans in closer, whispering playful taunts and insisting that her luck has nothing to do with the drinks you’ve both had. Your laughter fills the air as you keep the playful banter going.

- Domino is always on the lookout for potential trouble, and if someone gets too close or too handsy, her protective instincts kick in immediately. She’ll casually place herself between you and the unwanted attention, throwing a nonchalant smirk over her shoulder while making it clear that she won’t tolerate any nonsense when it comes to you.

- When the two of you step outside for some fresh air, she pulls you in close, an arm around your waist as you both lean against a wall. Under the stars, she talks about her life, her past, and her battles, but she keeps it light, interspersing her stories with humor. You can see the softer side of her, the one she usually hides behind her tough exterior.

- After the night winds down and you’re both back home, Domino helps you settle onto the couch, bringing you a glass of water and an extra blanket. She curls up beside you, letting her head rest against yours, and in this quiet moment, she reveals a vulnerability she rarely shows, murmuring about how nice it is to let go every once in a while.

Alison Blaire aka. Dazzler

- Dazzler is a whirlwind of energy, and your tipsy antics only add to her excitement. She thrives on fun, and seeing you so carefree inspires her to embrace her inner party girl even more. Together, you create a raucous atmosphere that lights up the night, her laughter ringing like music as she encourages you to dance wildly.

- As you start gushing about how amazing her powers are and how she lights up the stage, she beams, clearly flattered by your compliments. “You should see me when I’m performing,” she responds playfully, a twinkle in her eye. The way you admire her makes her feel like a superstar, and she wants to show you just how dazzling she can be.

- When you suggest a karaoke battle, Dazzler jumps at the chance, pulling you onto the stage without hesitation. She brings her own flair, using her light-based powers to create a dazzling show around you, turning the room into a vibrant spectacle. Together, you sing your hearts out, her voice harmonizing beautifully with yours, creating a moment that feels like magic.

- If anyone tries to rain on your parade or come between you two, Dazzler’s fierce side comes out. With a swift movement, she sends a burst of light in their direction, enough to make them reconsider. “Back off, I’m with my number one fan!” she declares, standing protectively in front of you while keeping a playful edge to her tone.

- When you start getting sleepy, Dazzler notices right away, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close. “Hey, don’t worry! I’ll take care of you,” she reassures, guiding you back to her place. With her, you feel safe and cherished, and she quietly hums a gentle tune as she helps you settle in.

- As the night winds down, Dazzler plays soft music in the background, her light powers creating a warm, cozy ambiance. She sits beside you, brushing her fingers through your hair, whispering sweet words about how much fun she had. You can feel her affection enveloping you like a soft blanket, and you drift off with a content smile, knowing you’re in the company of someone who truly cares.

Kevin Sydney aka. Morph

- Morph is all about having fun, so when he sees you a little tipsy, his eyes light up with mischief. He can’t resist joining in on your antics, turning himself into all sorts of funny characters and making you laugh uncontrollably. His playful nature only fuels your own silliness, and together, you’re a force of comedic chaos.

- As you drunkenly rave about how hilarious he is and how you love his powers, Morph goes overboard with the impressions. “You think I’m funny? Just wait until you see my best Wolverine impression!” He starts mimicking Logan’s gruff voice, making exaggerated gestures that leave you in stitches, tears streaming down your cheeks from laughter.

- You challenge him to a transformation contest, and he jumps at the opportunity. Each transformation is more ridiculous than the last—one moment he’s a giant balloon animal, the next he’s a famous movie star. Every time he shifts forms, you’re there, cheering him on and giggling at his antics, completely caught up in the joy of the moment.

- If someone approaches you two with less-than-friendly intentions, Morph’s protective side surfaces in a comically exaggerated way. He transforms into a hulking monster, looming over them and growling with faux menace. “You want some of this?” he bellows, cracking you up even more while also warding off any unwanted attention.

- Once the chaos of the night calms down, Morph helps you back to his place, where he makes sure you’re comfortable. He finds a blanket and wraps it around you, making a joke about “keeping his favorite human warm.” It’s sweet and silly, and you can’t help but smile at the genuine care he has for you.

- As you begin to drift off, Morph leans in, his usual playful demeanor softening as he brushes a strand of hair from your face. “You’re pretty great, you know that?” he whispers, his voice low and sincere. He stays by your side, watching over you as you sleep, feeling grateful for the fun-filled night and the bond you share.

[prairleedog]

Wolverine ticklecannons!!!

This silly fucker has my heart omg <3

——————————————————

Lee:

— THE LAUGH. He has the sweetest little laugh like omg if you get a spot like his ribs or sum he will just absolutely go spiralling off into snorts like it.s so cute guys

— takes a lot to actually get him to allow it, you have to be friends / closely acquainted but once he's comfortable enough to actually open up, he doesn't really fight it or anything

— melts into neck + shoulder tkls + sometimes he'll growl through little giggles and it's just. aAJBAKDJSJHDHD

— has a really pretty smile. Like in the gif above like it's js so cute especially when he's laughing <33 + has canines that poke out a little when he smiles which is an added bonus

— swears like an absolute sailor while being tickled on certain spots (i.e: biceps, ribs, really anything upper body wise). He will act like a bitch but honestly he likes it cause it helps him destress

— some of his worst spots are def upper body related esp. around his stomach but he has ticklish knees :3

🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟—🌟

Ler:

— THIS MAN. He may be a cute lee but he is an absolutely unforgiving ler

— uses facial hair when blowing raspberries n stuff because it makes the whole thing tickle more

— if you piss him off enough, he'll bring out the claws and lemme tell you they are SO BAD

— an absolute asshole about everything. “ can you grasp the concept of silence? I'm trying to do something. ” while he's absolutely wrecking your shit

( STEALING MY POOKIE @just-a-fluffy-knight 'S HEADCANNON HERE)

— if he's feeling surprisingly playful he'll drop down and chase after you on all fours (which also happens to be incredibly scary)

— THE HOOD OMG when he pulls the hood down you are FUCKED. like absolutely royally fucked. You better dig your grave because he will tickle the absolute snot out of you

— surprisingly good at gentle tickles / cheer-up tickles :3

I'LL BE BACK W ONES FOR WADE SOON <333 BYE FOLKS :D

[sykoangels]

being relationship with deadclaws 💋

a blurb / headcannons

author notes: this is afab!reader this is also a polyamorous relationship post as well!! also this is NSFW AND SFW!

safe for work 💋

dates between both men are polar opposites. Usually, when you are on a solo date with Wade it’s something fun and silly like watching terrible movies and critiquing them or rewatching the whole adventure time series in one sitting and discussing the lore. Dates with Logan realistically are very laid back probably alcohol tasting or him teaching you about his favorite cigars and how to smoke one correctly

Mandatory movie nights every week! Each week yall get takeout from the shitty Chinese takeout down the street and watch movies from an iceberg tear-list y’all made way back before you guys dated.

Wade is a horrible chef his food is actually inedible. So Logan usually does all the cooking even though he doesn't like too.

when cuddling or sleeping the arrangement is Wade on the left Logan in the middle and you on the right. So you and Wade can sleep on Logan’s pecks and used them as pillows.

Holidays such as Christmas and Thanksgiving are always done up to the 10th degree. You and Wade love cliché ugly and itchy sweaters and a good homecooked Thanksgiving meal. Logan isn’t the biggest fan because he finds it obnoxious but he does it to make you happy especially (to stop Wade’s complaints)

For a birthday present, you got Logan alcohol you and Wade to drink since you all are younger than him (obviously above the age of 18!!). You brought him stuff like Pink Whitney and White Claws. He hated it but pretended to enjoy it because you were so happy to get it for him.

Wade’s love language is physical touch! he loves cuddling and kissing! he’s very into PDA to the point it could be compared to kids you see in high school mouth harassing each other in the hall. Honestly, you don’t mind because you can always tell him to cool down and he will.

Logan's love language is acts of service!! Even though Logan is very fierce and rugged on the outside. He always had a soft spot for you and Wade. He would do small things like give you his jacket when you’re cold or go out of his way to cut up fruit slices for you as a snack when you aren’t feeling well, sometimes he would go out of his way to buy your favorite drink from a coffee place you liked. He always constantly remembered the little things that you just say in passing and don’t think about it’s locked in his brain somewhere.

“do you know how beautiful you are bub?” Logan says just randomly (just admiring your beauty)

“If i was a Pokémon trainer you would be the main Pokémon i would use. You know like how team rocket has meowth? You would be my meowth!!” Wade says randomly (he has a weird way of complementing people)

not safe for work 💋

both men are insanely horny for you and sometimes they need you to fix it. In some instances they would both try to fight for your pleasure like a two mangy animals.

double penetration! especially after a fight

they have eiffel towered you before (iykyk)

Wade prefers late night and semi-public sex

Logan prefers sleepy morning sex or angry rough sex

Logan and Wade are both into insane levels of pain. It’s sadomasochism heaven when them.

they both have pictures of you in their wallets of in their favorite lingerie or skimpy outfit. Especially when they are away on missions.

face sitting especially with Logan while Wade is deep inside him. Logan can’t help but to nip at you as he struggles to keep it together due to Wade’s erratic thrusts

breeding 👏🏼 breeding 👏🏼 breeding (especially when Logan is in some form of heat usually around the spring / summer) He would wanna breed you and Wade simultaneously, and sometimes it happens.

“that’s it. Let’s stretch that hole out.”

“we'll make it fit”

as Wade said “pegging isn’t new for him.” It’s not new for Logan either. You pegged him on your birthday and everything changed. You had never seen him so needy and whiny before.

Wade is sometimes a cuck! He genuinely likes seeing Logan pound into you while tears of pleasure spill out your pretty eyes.

y’all have sex tapes! three of them. Wade jokes about if this mercenary / superhero? / x-men bullshit doesn’t work out they would leak them on purpose to become the next Kardashians.

“fuck~ baby your hole is pretty it’s almost like you made it for me.”

“that’s it bub.. finally using that bratty mouth to use.”

[avocado-writing]

i neeeed smth silly with wade and his s/o having a stereotypical teenage girls' sleepover- painting their nails, gossiping about boys (logan) and trying to style wade's wack ass wig.

sigh unfortunately i am in love with The Idiot

Honestly? You’re pretty fucking happy.

Wade is incredibly attentive. A goofball, sure, and the kinda guy to take things a little too far sometimes - but he can always tell when there’s something wrong. You’ve been far too stressed. Work has been getting you down, too much pressure with not enough appreciation, and it just feels like you’re being ground into the dirt by someone’s heel. Your usual enthusiasm when you come home has been ablated and you’ve barely been able to give Wade a smile recently. 

So tonight, when you walk in with gloom heavy around you, you’re pleasantly surprised when the apartment is lit with candles and your favourite album is playing quietly on the stereo. Wade looks up from where he’s judging between two facemasks. 

“Okay, we can go with ‘jasmine tranquillity’ or ‘rose seduction’. I’m feeling ‘rose seduction’, but maybe that’s because sensuality is my middle name. Well, one of my middle names. Wade Winston Sensuality Wilson.”

You put your work bag down and fix him with the smile which can’t help rising over your face. 

“What’s all this?”

“I couldn’t have my pookie ending their week on a bum note. I co-opted the place for ourselves tonight.”

“And Logan doesn’t care? Al?”

“Out drinking and at bridge, respectively. I’ll let you guess which one’s where.”

The image of your gruffest housemate sitting across from three retirees while playing cards makes you snort, and Wade knows he’s got you. 

Now? Now the facemask is smelling the room with soft perfume and you’re swilling your Merlot around in its glass, watching as Wade holds one of your bare feet in his lap and carefully applies red to your nails. There are curlers in your hair but none in his wig, because god knows you refuse to touch that thing any more than you absolutely have to. 

“This wine is nice,” you hum, slightly buzzed from the two glasses you’ve already had.

“It’s not, it was ten dollars, but once you’ve had enough you stop noticing that it tastes like ass,” he replies. Yeah, okay, he’s right. You down the rest of it and lean back against the sofa, watching him work as your vision swims a little. 

“You’re really good at this,” you hum. Wade doesn’t tear his eyes away from where he’s applying varnish in neat, diligent strokes. 

“I can sever a guy’s spine through his first and second lumbar vertebrae from thirty feet away. I’ve got steady hands, babe.” As easily as if he was commenting on the weather he holds up a small tray of press-on decals. “Now, do you want the little apples or the little cherries?”

You snort, gleeful. “Oh my god Wade, did you get those from Claire’s?”

“Yes I did. I went into Claire’s today because I’m confident in my masculinity and it’s a wonderful, joyous place to be.”

“… did Laura go in with you so you wouldn’t feel weird?”

“Yukio. I’m picking the cherries,” he decides with an air of finality. You cradle your woozy head in your arms and sigh, happily. 

“I love you, Wade.”

Finally he looks up, his face melting into a smile. 

“Yeah, I love you too. Now do you wanna watch Definitely, Maybe or Bridget Jones tonight?”

“Bridget Jones. You get weird when we watch the other one.”

“Heh, yeah,” he agrees. 

Taglist: @falsewordz @malfoys-demigod @belilwen @mildly-salted @tvwebs @childeslegstrap @getmeoutofhell @s1eep-o @just-a-beatlemaniac69 @yrthr @momopad @sugarplumz100 @captainjinkx @madspads @acrosstheunivcrse @yeethaw13

[sciderman]

Hey Sci do you have recs for Wolverine comics where he's not written by douchebags who hate men showing their feelings? I'm familiar with the character but I seriously feel like I'm missing something out.

unfortunately my marvel knowledge is kind of restricted to spider-man and deadpool and therefore, my wolverine intake is limited to team-ups with either deadpool or spider-man. if a comic book does not have deadpool or spider-man in it, there's a very high likelihood i haven't read it.

sure, i've read x-things, but most of the x-things i've consumed have been more from television and the movies - and my x-knowledge is very sporadic when it comes to the comics. very incomplete. i've just dipped my toes here or there. and i hate the avengers. sorry. you can't get me to read an avengers book willingly. even if it has spider-man in it. sorry. wolverine frequents the avengers. he's a mainstay. basically he's always on every team ever. he's a team guy. hilariously. even though everyone's mental image in their head is that he's a lone wolf. he's always on a team. everyone wants this stinky man around. he's the best there is at what he does.

if there are any logan enthusiasts with reccs, please drop them in replies! i'd love to eat up some more wolverine, because i really do love him. but dear god. i can't read all that.

that being said i've sung praises to kelly's recent dp/w wiii - and with everyone being on a poolverine kick, as of late, i think it's a good place to start. of course we all fixate on wade, but – logan is really well handled, really well-written. just - the book is really good. it's just a really good book. the book is in logan's pov, and it's just - i love being in his pov. he has a fantastic voice, and you just - really like him.

yes, he's gruff and tough and broody, but - ugh. you like him. there's just no reason to not like him. he's solid. and he just - inexplicably cares, even when it doesn't make sense. i made a joke the other that - that's logan's mutant ability, is that he cares. even when he doesn't want to. he does. he just cares. he always cares. he can't switch it off. god #*?%ing dammit.

conversely, we all care about wolverine. i don't think you have a choice. that's his mutant ability. he's popular and we like him. i don't think anyone has a choice in the matter. i think even if you think you don't like logan, if you actually open your heart and let him in, you'll realise that yeah. actually. you do like him, and you only thought you didn't. but you do. you like him. there's a reason why he's so popular. and you might not understand why. but it's his mutant ability.

even wade's aware of it!!

i don't know why i like logan so much. i just do. i think there's no reason to not like him. even though i don't like other characters that are similar to him. but logan... logan is different and i like him. there's just a bunch of things that he has going that other similar "tough guy" characters just don't. like his funny silly little yellow suit. i love tough guy characters that wear yellow. i love that he's canadian. i love his short king status. i love that he cares. and i love hugh jackman, too. so all factors mean it's impossible for me to not love wolverine. sorry. what is not to love.

i don't know - i feel like people who treat wolverine like he's just like every other "tough guy" character kind of miss the point of him - i feel like he's intrinsically different, somehow. by way of funny little yellow suit, being a short king, and the way that he legitimately cares, in almost a paternal or even maternal sort of way. he just feels different to me, from other tough guys. he's doting and soft in every single story i've seen him in. including the x-men films. even though he talks like a tough guy and acts like a tough guy and he's got his claws and whatever. he's a soft guy. and he cares.

[bealikethebug]

Bea's SpideyPool Fic Recs

I read so much Spideypool fan fiction and I thought I'd share some of my favorites! Most of the summaries included are my own because I wanted to share what I really loved about them/why I recommend them

Thank you so much to the authors for sharing these and for all their hardwork<3

Belle of the Bar

by DerRumtreiber

E | 34,092 Words

My summary:

Peter is just an average college student and gets a job at a strip club run by Wade and Weasel but he also has to balance practice for ping-pong because he is on a sports scholarship. Wade is so into him and very soon things get spicy

The premise of this fic is so silly (and i mean that in the best way possible) and it is such a fun read. Great characterization and lots of laughs. 

Finite State

by Scarlet_Ribbons

E | 34,240 Words

My summary:

Peter is blackmailed into taking a break from being Spider-Man by one of his co-workers who is threatening to leak his identity. Deadpool is worried by Spider-mans sudden disappearance and recruits Peter(who he doesn’t know is actually Spider-Man) to help him. 

I can not recommend this fic enough! It is my all time favorite and such a comfort fic, it just has all the elements I love. Perfect balance of angst, humor, and a great plot. 

The 6 Times Peter Wanted To Reveal his Identity (And the 1 Time He Did) 

by Spongeekat

M | 28,436 Words

My summary:

Wade doesn’t know that Peter is actually Spider-Man and because of a series of events just thinks he’s a very depressed guy in need of some help. Peter has a huge crush on Wade and struggles with getting the courage to reveal is identity and confess his feelings.

I love the 5 + 1(or in this case 6 + 1) format and I think this was a very unique spin on it. I’m always a sucker for some hurt/comfort. 

we're on a highway to hell (with a little bit of heaven)

by dabblingwithwords

E | 107,557

My summary:

Deadpool saves Peter from a Hydra facility that had been using him as a test subject for three years. Peter has to deal with his PTSD and a symbiote as they travel together and fall in love.

Love this one so much. Very well written and tackles some really heavy topics in such a good wau. It still had all the things I like about Spideypool but the characterization felt really fresh and different.  

Hands

By schierlingsbecher

E | 25,539 Words

Summary:

“After going through a lot of shitty fights and missions together, Spider-Man reveals the face and name under the mask to Deadpool. Wade is stunned.”

For this one I put the authors summary because it’s been a while since I read this I don’t remember a whole lot of the plot(time for a reread) but I am 100% sure I loved it. I remember it being super sweet and having lots of hurt comfort.

[whentherewerebicycles]

my baby is six months old today!!! he’s been alive for half a year!!!!! it somehow feels both like he's been in my life forever and like i just gave birth days ago. I love him so much it makes me feel a little frantic sometimes. he is down for his first nap now and I can hear him in his crib grumbling to himself about the terrible indignities they subject sweet little babies to these days (chief among them being wrapped in blankets in a soft little sleeping bag in a cozy warm room for a nice restorative nap).

I think I want to journal a bit today—six things about the baby + six thoughts about my experience of parenting thus far. baby first!

well i mean. he is just perfect. he is just the best little guy ever. all babies are the best little guy ever but he is MY best little guy you know? i love him so much. what is his personality like? i would say he has definitely retained something of the watchfulness and slight reserve he had as a newborn. he has these huge dark eyes and he studies things very intently and in general likes to Observe the Situation before wading in. but he is, so far, not especially shy? the stranger danger phase has not set in yet so he enjoys being held by a wide range of people and will warm up to new faces after a bit, especially if they make silly expressions at him or sing to him. he also definitely has His People, who he is not reserved with at all. the second my sister walks in he starts kicking his legs furiously and babbling to her to get her to come over and talk to him. he looooves my mom and is way snugglier with her than anyone else. he adores his primary babysitters (his nanny + liz's husband A) and is sooo chatty with them. he was slow to smile (liz's baby was beaming at everybody from like five weeks on but i don't think O was smiling regularly until about 12 weeks) and he is still pretty selective with them (strangers do NOT get smiles unless they make a very silly surprising noise). but his general temperament is just like… he’s a calm, even-keeled, good-natured little guy who is down for pretty much whatever. this kid can hang.

he is REALLY good at independent play. if he's fed and changed he can pretty much entertain himself for 45-60 min at a time without any input from me. he just kicks around on his mat and plays with his toys. in the morning he wakes up around 6:30 but the family does not get up until 7:20 and he will just hang out in his crib making his hands dance in the air and chattering happily to himself. i think this is probably like 80% inborn temperament... my mom says i was the exact same way as a baby, just like totally content to chill and think and talk to myself. but i think maybe 20% of it is also things i consciously did to encourage this from about four weeks on and i am proud of that! i think one of the qualities i like best in myself is that i have a high tolerance for boredom because i can just get lost in my thoughts/imagination. as long as i have something to think about or some imaginary situation to play out in my head i am content. i really want that for him too! idk more thoughts about this when i journal about parenting lol. but i appreciate that he doesn't have to be entertained 24/7 (at least at this age). he is content to just be on his own or just be in the room watching people do other stuff.

obviously i adored him from the start lol but i would say that four months marked a big turning point in terms of how much fun he was to hang out with. he just started seeming so much more alert and engaged around then. and then this last five to six months span of time has just been SO fun. he's fully a little person. he has preferences and opinions and favorite toys and favorite people and favorite animals (ruthie). he is learning ALL the time. you can see him puzzling things out and beginning to develop a rudimentary understanding of cause and effect. right now, like in the past week or so, he is extremely into TEXTURES. he must scritch-scratch absolutely everything with his little baby nails. he is obsessed with his "baby paper" (crinkly paper) and he is much more open to tummy time now mainly because it allows him to scritch-scratch all the different quilts we use as playmats. he likes to scritch-scratch the glass when i take him to the window in the morning to show him his friends the trees, and if there is any kind of graphic on my t-shirts he MUST scratch the edges of it. and he does all of this with a look of total focus lol this kid is LOCKED IN on scritch-scratching.

he laughs so much these days. he also seems to have figured out that people react positively and often rush over to engage with him when he laughs, so sometimes if i'm on the other side of the room and he wants me to pay attention to him he will just do this "huh-huh-HAH-HA! HA!" belly laugh so i'll come over and make silly faces at him. i do pretty much nonstop funny accents and comedy bits for him and i'd say i get a laugh 50% of the time... the other 50% of the time he just gives me this wide-eyed look that clearly says "ok... this lady is nutso and i seem to be trapped in her care... i need to proceed carefully here..." which is also very funny.

he is really into being gently manhandled right now haha. i think it is probably related to developing proprioception? but he loves to be "flying baby" (where you lift him over your head and zoom him around like an airplane) and he loves being a pendulum in a giant clock (where you hold him under his arms and swing his body back and forth as you lift him up and down) and he REALLY loves it when you wrap him up in your arms and roll into a ball and roll over and over a bunch of times. also it delights him when you play-wrestle with him and tickle him even though he cannot yet really wrestle back lol. bonus points if you also growl at him and pretend you are going to eat him up... that's a big hit right now. when i was a kid my dad would wrestle with us all the time and pretend to be a bear chasing us around the house on all fours and let us ride on his back and stuff and it was so much fun. so far it is also pretty fun for the grownup lol i feel like it's a great way to get some silly energy out. but also i think i need to start lifting weights lol because this kid is already so heavy and i want to be able to keep tossing him around and wrestling with him when he's even bigger!!

on a related note: he is getting much stronger!! he is a big boy (as of today: 75th percentile for weight, 98th percentile for height, and wearing 12 month clothes). some of the physical milestones have been challenging for him because he weighs a lot and has a big ol noggin, so it's a lot of work to lift/maneuver his body. but he is rolling over pretty regularly and happily now, and in the last day or two he's started pushing up on his hands a little when he's on his tummy which was the big tummy time milestone he hadn't hit yet. he can also sit up with hip support and is starting to brace himself on his hands while sitting. the contrast with my nephew has been so funny to watch... my nephew is two and a half months older and is the tiniest, springiest little guy, so it's a lot easier for him to monkey around lol. but my nephew also just has this truly nonstop internal motor that seems to drive him to MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE at all times. my baby uhh does not have that motor lol. he finds my nephew's frenetic energy a little overwhelming and is like actually i would prefer to lounge around here on my mat scritch-scratching a quilt, thank you. truly my child lol. why "move around" when you could instead sit in one place daydreaming. it's funny to watch them together and just be like ohhh kids are SO different there's such a wide spectrum of normal.

ok there are six things!!! some other rapidfire facts just for my files: he is still quite gloriously bald but he's started getting hair! no eyebrows yet though lol and no sign that they are on the horizon. he loves taking baths with me except maybe "loves" is the wrong word... he takes bathtime deathly seriously because it is Water Kicking Time and he was put on this earth to Kick Water. so bathtimes are training sessions... he does not smile at ALL during baths he is too Locked In, but he screams and screams when you try to take him out because he was STILL TRAINING. his eyes still have a little bit of that newborn dark blue left but are mostly dark brown now with perhaps the barest hint of hazel. he is really into music and will go into a trance state when you sing to him or play instruments for him. he loves to chomp on his toys. he used to "kiss" your cheek but now just wants to nom nom nom on your face. his cheeks get so rosy when he's worked up or chilly or excited. he is transfixed by his own hands. he does this sharp startled little inhale when something surprises him. he can now take his pacifier out of his mouth and sometimes put it back in (i'd say we have a 20% success rate of getting the pacifier back in the right way). he is almost always a perfect sleeper although we had a little rough patch last night so i'm holding my breath hoping he's not about to have some kind of regression. he loves to kvetch and has mastered the fine art of lowgrade grumbling and complaining. he is teething and so there is a lot of drool everywhere all the time. he likes to hold his board books while i read to him i think it makes him feel important and involved lol. he is very soft and warm and smells good. he loves to snuggle in the big bed with mom. he is the best. he is just the best!!! i am the luckiest person in the world. i love him so much and i love being his mom. what a good baby!!!

[kaydens-agere]

Peter's Grocery Store || Regressing Peter Parker/Spider-Man & Caregiver Wade Wilson/Deadpool

Under the cut!! I might make a moodboard or smth for this later instead of the gifs but I wanted to get this posted cuz I'm very excited about it and its something my little has wanted for ages so here yall go :P

After a very long day of fighting bad guys, Wade is finally home. He takes his mask off as he opens the door to see Peter, carefully lining up an array of items from around the house on the coffee table. He has his fluffy blue blanket wrapped around him, a telltale sign that he's little. Peter looks up as Wade walks in and grins.

"Hi, Daddy." he says quietly as he puts a packet of lunchables on the table.

"Hey bub, what'cha up to?" Wade sets his mask and duffel bag down, smiling gently at Peter, with makes him blush and giggle.

"Making my grocery store!" he replies proudly with a big smile.

"Your grocery store, huh? I dunno if we have the funds for that, Petey-pie." Wade quickly scoops him up, earning a squeal and a giggle from Peter.

"Hey, I'm busy!" Peter nuzzles himself into Wade's arms, despite grumbling and pouting about being picked up.

"Alright, alright. I'll put'ya down." Wade sets Peter back down and lightly kisses his forehead.

"What's for sale in the grocery store of yours, anyway?"

Peter gives Wade a mischievous grin but doesn't answer the question. Wade inspects the table to see what Peter is selling.

"Hey, this is just stuff from around our house, bud." he ruffles his hair.

"Yeah, well, you'll have to buy it back" Peter sticks out his tongue in return.

Wade lovingly rolls his eyes and snorts. He peers into the bag that Peter's pulling stuff from and gasps when he sees something of his.

"Hey! This is my unicorn backpack, what gives?" he quickly retrieves the item from the plastic bag.

Peter huffs and grabs it back. "Nuh! It's for sale now." he pouts and sets it on the table away from Wade.

Wade smirks. "I see how it is. How much is it if I wanna buy it back then?"

"It's not open yet! You have to wait." Peter pulls the last few items from the bag.

"Alright, alright!" Wade puts up his hands in surrender.

After he sets the items down, he stands up and places his hands on his hips.

"Daddy! I'm finished." he giggles excitedly and grabs Wade's hand to drag him to the door.

"Where are we going, kiddo?" Wade laughs as he's being dragged away.

"To the door, silly! You have to come into the store. Have you never been to one?"

Peter's always very sassy with Wade while he's little, but he thinks it's adorable.

"Oh, my deepest apologies, sweetheart. How could I forget how a store works? How silly of me." Wade says sarcastically and puts his hand on his chest.

Peter sticks out his tongue again and runs behind the table.

"Okay! You can come now. Welcome to the grocery store!" he bounces and fidgets behind the table and it takes all of Wade's might to not scoop him up and shower him with kisses.

"Wow, this store is inviting." Wade playfully struts over to the table to get Peter to giggle, and he kneels down and looks at the shop's "stock".

There's a few of Peter's toys, a giant bag of flour, three packs of lunchables, a hairbrush and Wade's aforementioned unicorn backpack. He decides to go for that.

"Okay, you gotta tell me how much for that backpack, baby boy."

"Hm..." Peter looks down thoughtfully before replying. "Fifty thousand million!"

Wade plays along with a dramatic gasp.

"In this economy, kiddo?! Man, even the readers are shocked! Or maybe they're not depending on their living situation..."

"Wha?" Peter tilts his head.

"Nothing, sweetie. Don't worry about it." Wade ruffles his hair.

"You gonna pay up or what?" Peter sasses him again, and Wade rolls his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, you little brat. I'm payin'" he pulls his wallet out of his pocket (he finally started carrying it with him). He pulls out a $5 note and hands it to Peter. He inspects the note carefully.

"This isn't quite enough, but..." he pauses for dramatic effect. "Because you're my daddy and I love you, I suppose this will suffice."

Wade can't hold in his laugh. Sometimes Peter likes to use somewhat sophisticated language when he's small, and he finds it adorable.

"Aww, thank you buddy. You're very kind." Wade takes the backpack of the table and slings it around his shoulder.

"You're welcome, daddy." Peter walks around the table to give Wade a big hug. He tenderly leans down slightly and kisses Peter on the forehead.

"I love you so much, my little angel."

He hears Peter's flustered giggles and smiles.

"I love you too, daddy."