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omgeveryusernameistakenicanteven · 2 years ago

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Monotony

Deadpool x Y/N Kind of a crack fic, but also sorta serious. I honestly just want an excuse to write Deadpool smut soooo. Pt 2 coming soon-ish, maybe tomorrow or the day after. Anyways, Y/n uses they/them pronouns and has very minimal corporeal being at the moment (they have no lips, how will they get a kiss kiss??)

Life is boring. Y/n wished their current reality would shift into something more…exciting. Although they thought they should be grateful their life was boring. They had a stable job making good money and didn’t often experience life-altering hardships. “Monotony is better than disaster, I suppose.” Just as they speak those words aloud an earth shaking crash booms outside their apartment.

Fuck.

Y/n runs to the window and looks into the street far below. It’s hard to tell through the gloom but rubble is scattered across the asphalt. Had a building collapsed?? Down the street to their left it’s much more concentrated. Y/n almost swears they see movement there through the dust cloud. Turns out they did. Something lumbers out of the dust cloud. Something big. Y/n throws themself to the ground out of sight and presses their fist to their mouth.

Holy fuck.

Not daring to risk peeking through the window again Y/n scurries along the ground to the other side of the room. Just in time it seems because the apartment window shatters as something is hurled through it. They scream.

“Hey, hey, hey, let’s not do that.” The crumpled..thing in the corner speaks. Not that it does any good, if anything Y/n screams louder. “HEY! You need to shut the fuck up if you don’t want us to die! Because I’m pretty sure you won’t come back if you get eaten.” The man, y/n had determined ‘it’ was most definitely a man crawled over and used his one arm to shush them.

“What the fuck?” The words were barely audible.

“You need to shut up,” he whispers back.

“Who-emf!” The man puts his hand over their mouth, staring alertly out the window. Or at least, they think he is. He’s wearing a mask. That aside, the thing that alarmed Y/n more is his strength and alertness when he should be in shock or dying. In fact, if Y/n couldn’t see the damage they would assume he was in perfect health, if a bit stressed.

After getting the message Y/n tugs on his shoulder and jerks their head towards the door behind them. The masked man tilts his head, releases Y/n, and raises a finger to his lips in a “shh” motion. “Bathroom.” Y/n mouthed, then shimmies across the floor and opens the door as quietly as possible.

Almost as soon as the bathroom door clicks shut the noise outside stops completely. Y/n reaches again for the handle of the door but is stopped by a hand on her wrist. When they look at him he shakes his head very slowly, eyes wide and holding his breath. Slowly he releases Y/n’s hand and pulls up the bottom of his mask. The destroyed skin underneath doesn’t strike as much fear as the words he mouths, “It knows.”

So Y/n huddles against the opposite wall of the bathroom, hand against their mouth and wide eyes staring at the door as if it would come alive and attack them both. After several long minutes of listening to their own heartbeat Y/n hears a gurgly growl. It’s inside the apartment. Just as Y/n is about to say fuck it and make a break for it the man grabs their wrist again. He pulls them back so that they’re sitting between his legs with their back to his chest then presses a finger to their lips and moves his hand down to their waist to hold them in place.

It felt like an entire eternity before he released their waist. Y/n pushes away from him to the opposite side of the bathroom. “Little help.” He rasps, head slumped sideways. Thinking fast Y/n snatches towels from the cupboard and press them against the stump of his arm. Weird, it seemed shorter before.

“Deadpool.” The man whispers.

“What?”

“Before I made you shut up before you were going to ask who I was. I’m Deadpool.”

With that he slumps to the side, dead.

“Oh, fuck.” Y/n backs away from the body and looks to the door. Is it safe yet?

Y/n curls up against the wall and stares at the door. After a while they hear footsteps stumping along in her apartment. The door handle shakes, then the door opens. Another masked man stands there, this one smaller. He stares down at Y/n, then glances over at the body. For one horrible moment Y/n considers that he might blame them for this. Then he speaks “God, he’s an idiot. C’mon, let's get you some tea.”

They recoil from the masked man, but he doesn’t seem phased. Instead he helps them up and to the kitchen where he makes them a cup of tea. “Don’t worry about him, he’ll heal up just fine. Honestly he’ll probably be out here and annoying us both in fifteen minutes.”

“You didn’t s-see? He’s dead!”

“Yeah, Pool does that sometimes. Honestly, don’t worry about it. Just drink your tea. Oh, and I’m Spiderman. Sorry about your window.”

In favor of keeping their sanity Y/n decides to change the subject. “What happened?” they ask, sipping on their tea and throwing worried glances at the bathroom door.

“I-uhh, well I don’t really know. Strange is smarter with all this interdimensional space fabric stuff. The jist of it is some shit happened that opened a rift between our universes. Big baddie came here. Avengers–and Deadpool–came here to clean that up. Pool got thrown through your window and I’m assuming crawled into your bathroom to die.”

“We were hiding..that thing was in my apartment.”

“Nah. It can project its voice. It was waiting outside your apartment for a while. Probably waiting for you to come out of the bathroom. It was weird, like everything went completely silent for just a few seconds.”

“Oh..” Y/n fell silent. Thinking back to the corpse in the bathroom that had saved her life not that long before. They wondered if what this ‘Spiderman” had said was true.

A low groan came from the bathroom. Both Peter and Y/n perk up and look back to the door. The door handle jiggles but the man behind it was clearly struggling to open it fully. Y/n stumbles off their stool and runs to the doorway then flings it open.

“Honey, I’m home!” Deadpool sang, propping himself up on the doorway, “Did you miss me?” He smirks at them, his mask still up halfway. “I totally saved your life, be tee dubs.” The change in his attitude almost gave Y/n whiplash. This guy was absolutely nothing like the serious, gravely injured man who’d saved them. “Take a picture, sweet cheeks. It’ll last you longer.” He drew out the last word in a sing-song tone.

“You’re..not dead?”

“Of course I’m not dead. I would never die. Well, I would die but I wouldn’t stay dead.” He slings an arm over their shoulders and leads them back to the kitchen.

The men only stayed a couple minutes longer before both of them jumped out Y/n’s still broken window. For a long while Y/n thought that was it. Life moved on, the window was fixed. Everything was back to monotony. Then for the second time Y/n’s living room window shattered as a full grown masked man was hurled through it.

“I’m baaack!” He sang, jumping to his feet.

“What the hell, man?” Y/n clambers up after falling off their chair, “Why would you do that??”

“Hey! I didn’t have any control over it. My guess is the author needed some convenient way to get us back together so we can have some totally awesome sex.” Deadpool waggles his eyebrows. Weird that Y/n could see it over the mask.

“Listen, uh, man. You need to leave.”

“What,” he shouted, “You would just abandon me and kick me out in the cold after I saved your life??”

“It’s ninety degrees out!”

He plops himself down on the couch and crosses his arms, “My point stands.”

“No, it doesn’t. Your point fell over and died.”

“So you don’t want to have totally awesome sex?” He leans his head on the back of the couch and looks up at them. “You look funny upside down.”

For a moment Y/n pauses. This whole thing had started with them lamenting the monotony of their life. They honestly couldn’t think of anything less monotonous than fucking a spandex clad crimefighter than couldn’t physically die.

“Bedroom is that way.” They said whilst pointing. “Go lay down. I need a tylenol.”

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gallavichsreddie1128 · 4 months ago

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Tag Team (Deadpool/Wolverine)

Description: Wade is distracted during a mission so afterwards all 3 of them fuck in the Honda.

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 1,773k

Request:

IM OBSESSED WITH WADE AND LOGAN AS A TEAM... May I request a smut where both of them fuck fem!Reader?

Idk reader could also be a hero and it happens during a mission, I trust your writing!!!

Wade had been distracted the entire mission. It was to the point that Logan was getting annoyed with him even more than usual. Y/N had no clue what they were fighting about but was also annoyed with both of them. “Can you guys shut the fuck up?” She growled at them. They both stopped arguing and looked at her, “Can you stop being so hot?” Wade asked. She rolled her eyes and put her finger to her mouth to shush him. “Yes mommy.” Logan looked at him with disgust.

Wade was a kinky son of a bitch but Logan never got used to it. They were trying to kill bad guys but Wade was about to ruin it. Y/N had been so into the mission she had failed to see both of them checking her out. She did have blood all over her but what was new? Wade and Logan both had it bad for the girl but Y/N was oblivious. Before Wade could say anything else the bad guys appeared and they had to kill.

Y/N shot at them, never missing. Logan clawed them up and managed to get more blood on them than before. Wade? Well he was still distracted and barely did anything, “WHAT THE FUCK, WADE?” Y/N yelled at him. She pulled him right out of his dirty thoughts. “Y/N and I just did all the work.” Logan added. “Well my bad that I can’t stop thinking about taking you both to a whole new world of pleasure.” Y/N stared at him with a blank look.

She was really tired of him acting like this, especially on a mission. “Well next time don’t come.” She said and walked away from him. Logan followed but not before growling at him. “Oh come on! You guys act like this isn’t hot as fuck.” He whined, catching up to them. “What’s hot about killing people, Wade?” “EVERYTHING!!” Y/N sighed and stopped walking. “Wade, I’m very flattered but now is not the time.” She said to him. “Wait so there’s a time?” He asked. She sighed and started walking again.

The Honda Odyssey was the only “bed” that they had which sucked ass but it had to work. They all reeked of blood and guts but Wade couldn’t stop thinking about fucking Y/N in it. “So about earlier, is now the time?” He asked. Logan rolled his eyes and Y/N sighed. She sat up in the backseat and stared at him.

He was still wearing his mask and Logan took his off. “Wade, don’t you wanna fuck in a bed?” She asked, looking around the car. “Honey, I would fuck you in a volcano.” Yeah cuz that was a turn on. She looked at Logan, “What about you?” She asked him. He opened his eyes to look at her, “I wouldn’t fuck you in a volcano but this is all we have.” She laughed at his words and put her weapons on the floor.

“Alright guys. Let’s have some fun.” Wade was out of the car and to the backseat before she could finish her sentence. Logan got on the other side of her and she looked between them, “I’m not sure how this will wo-” Both of them attached their mouths to her neck. She gasped at the sudden action of them and she never noticed that Wade lifted his mask. Their lips moved sloppily on her neck, leaving marks. She gripped both of their necks and pulled them closer. They both placed a hand on her upper thigh and she leaned back against the seat, taking them with her.

Her eyes were closed as they marked her neck until she had purple spots. Logan moved down to her cleavage and Wade’s hand brushed against her pussy. She gasped at the feeling of both of them. Logan kissed and sucked the top of boob while Wade managed to get his fingers in her body suit to her bare pussy, “Holy shit.” She breathed out and he chuckled. “Ya like that princess?” Wade asked as his fingers rubbed her clit.

She was soaked and had been for a few hours now. Logan moved from her tit to the floor and spread her legs. “Move your fingers you Merc.” Logan said to Wade. Wade whined but did anyway so Logan could feast on her pussy. “Take this off.” He demanded her. She undid her body suit and Logan helped her get it off until she was fully naked in nothing but gloves and her boots. Logan chuckled as he looked at her wet pussy.

He sniffed her and sighed, “Fuck darling you smell delicious.” He told her and licked up her clit. She threw her head back and moaned. Wade watched as Logan ate her out and got even harder. He looked at Y/N who had her eyes closed and her breathing was harder. He leaned back too and turned her head towards him and kissed her. She weakly kissed back and moaned into his mouth. Logan was eating her out like an animal eating its first meal.

It was everything. Her hands gripped his hair making him moan into her pussy. The vibration made her whine and Wade stuck his tongue in her mouth. She let his tongue explore her mouth and Logan’s explored her pussy. Her hips bucked into his mouth and she shuddered at how close she was, “I’m gonna cum!” She whined into the kiss. “Cum on his beautiful face.” Wade told her and that did it. She fucked her hips up into his face and came all over. Wade praised her as she rode her sweet orgasm.

Logan flattened his tongue as she did all the work until the pleasure was gone. He pulled away from her pussy and smirked at her. She loved the sight of him covered in her cum. Wade did as well, “Damn wish that was me.” Logan got back onto the seat next to her and kissed her, giving her a taste. She moaned into his mouth. “Fuck that’s so hot.” Wade said. Y/N pulled away from the kiss and moved to kiss Wade giving him a taste as well. While they were kissing she took his mask off and threw it on the ground. Wade was never insecure around them.

They made him feel loved. She broke the kiss and moved in between his legs. He looked down in shock as she pulled out his dick. “Kiss.” She told them and without protest they did. She smirked as she watched for a second before running her pretty fingers over Wade’s cock. He gasped into the kiss. She wrapped her hand around him and jerked him off a few times before taking him into her mouth. Her mouth was the best thing to fuck.

It was wet and warm and felt so good. She placed her hands on his thighs and gave him the best blow job of his life. Wade was the loudest one out of the three of them. He fucked up into her mouth as the car rocked. The windows steamed up as they kissed and she gave him the best blow job ever. “Fuck. Your mouth is amazing, baby.” He moaned.

Logan watched as his dick went in and out of her mouth. Sure her mouth was good but her pussy was even better. Logan and Wade stopped kissing once Wade got really close. He threw his head back and cried out as he came in her throat. She pulled off of him and pulled Logan down for a kiss. She let Wade’s cum travel into Logan’s mouth and he swallowed. Wade gasped as he had never seen anything like that before.

Y/N smirked at him and got back in between them. “So I want all or nothing. You both have to be inside of me at the same time.” She says and they both nod before getting naked. She got on the center console of the car and they both managed to get their dicks in her at the same time. Their car was small but it managed to work. Y/N gasped at both of them penetrating her at the same time. Logan tried to let her adjust to the size but Wade didn’t care and started thrusting.

Her moans were loud inside the car and it felt very hot. Her jaw was dropped and her bloody hair was wet with sweat as well. Wade laid his head on the head of the carseat and groaned out. Logan who had more stanamia than both of them was fucking her fast and hard. Wade tried to keep up but it felt better this way.

“Shit you both are so fucking good.” She whined as one dick would hit her spot and then the other would right after. “You’re one to talk princess, your pussy is so perfect.” Wade groaned. Her moans turned to screams as she started thrusting back on them. The perfect rhythm began and all 3 of them were making loud noises. The heat of the car made things more intense.

Logan’s hand that was gripping one side of her hip was squeezing to the point of bruises. Y/N wished more than anything that she could see how fucked out they both looked but that was the con with doggy style. Especially in a small car. Wade groaned as he felt her pussy squeeze them, “Fuck princess, I’m about to cum.” He announced.

Y/N smirked before moaning as she squeezed them tighter cuz a loud moan to release from Logan. He barely moaned but when he did it was amazing and hot. “Fuck sweetheart, If you do that again I’m gonna cum too.” “That’s the plan.” She whimpered and squeezed them. “Where do ya want it, pretty girl?” “Inside of me. Both of you.” She cried as she too felt closer to the edge.

Wade groaned loudly as he came hard inside of her pretty pussy. Logan was a few seconds later and stilled behind her as he came. Y/N helped them ride it out as she came next screaming their names. The car smelled of sweat and sex as they both pulled out of her. Wade collapsed back against the seat and sighed, “Man I do love a good tag team after a crazy mission.” He said. Logan glared at him, “You didn’t even help.” Y/N turned around to look at the two. “Boys don’t start.” She warned and got in the middle of them. “Maybe if you guys are good we can go for round 2.” She smirked and brought them both in for a kiss.

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