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cloverque · 4 years ago

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departure (haiba lev)

出发 (灰羽リエーフ)

a departure doesn’t always guarantee a return

4128 words

post time skip! model lev, fiances, angst, concept of waiting, alt ending (w/ closure)

a (reuploaded) req for a certain lev lover <3

Haiba Lev wasn’t the most level headed person. He was blunt, foolish, assertive, and sometimes, a simpleton. And yet, despite his innumerable flaws, you loved him.

You adored the discordant, entwined, looping threads that made up for who he was, his strengths and weaknesses, every fibre of his being. Furthermore, your love was unyielding; a delicate yet persistent wild flower, sprung from the cracks in concrete.

Your love for the male stemmed from your starting days in high school. It was a random encounter, in which he bumped into you in a hallway, and then somehow, you began fawning over the half Russian.

Inconspicuously, you would watch him from afar: walking by the gym to sneak glances, matching up your schedule with the volleyball club’s, just to catch glimpses of him during their laps around the school.

You were fascinated with the long limbed teen’s energy and presence on the court. He was handsome too, his facial and body structure flawlessly sculpted by God himself to be the epitome of masculinity.

Your puppy love and admiration for him motivated you to travel far and wide to watch his volleyball matches, with hopes that maybe one day, Lev would notice you.

Lev wasn’t the brightest with a few things, with consciousness of his surroundings topping his list. Your encounter with him had slipped his mind, since it meant only so little, and he never realised you were in the same cohort, for pete’s sake.

If it weren’t for Kenma, who had pointed you out among the spectators, he wouldn’t have realised you always watched their matches. So he decided to approach you after one, and asked if you were from Nekoma High. You were momentarily stunned, then gave him a radiant smile, one so bright he would never forget.

After that, the two of you hit it off effortlessly. Within a few months, your freshly sprouted friendship with Lev blossomed into something more. Years passed, both of you graduated, and the two of you were still going strong, happily dating. The now esteemed model and you even began contemplating on a larger milestone, one which would change both of your lives forever.

That is, until Lev received an ominous phone call that presaged the end of your current chapter.

It happened too quickly to say for sure what was going on. He had told you the night before, as he held you in his arms, that he would be gone for a while. That he needed to attend to some personal matters back at home.

Lev’s tone was a little too quiet when he broke the news. “I… gotta leave for a while, (y/n).“ He was holding you close, arms draped around your waist and legs tangled with yours.

You stopped circling your finger around his bicep to glance up at him. Studying the distant look in his green orbs, you raised your brows. “Okay, where to?”

“Russia. My grandma wants me to return immediately.” Lev’s attention shifted from the ceiling to your curious gaze. His warm, minty breath fanned your face as he exhaled. “I think I’ll take a while.”

“Oh…” You rest your cheek on his chest, lashes fluttering close as you murmured. “I’ll miss you, but I can wait. Just don’t keep me waiting for long, alright?”

“Mhmm, okay.” Smiling tenderly, Lev peppered your skin with kisses, making you giggle. You slowly opened your eyes to take in the way the moonlight from the balcony glossed over his flawless, pale skin.

Lev’s fingers hovered over the silver band on your ring finger, lingering there before taking your hand in his. His own matching ring clinked against yours softly when you laced your fingers with his, your warm palms heating up his cold ones as you dozed off, flushed against his chest.

When morning came, he was gone. You had failed to bid him goodbye as Lev‘s egression was committed silently. The days passed like any other, and you would text him once in a while to check up on him. However, you never received a response. Not on SMS. Not on social media. Nowhere.

Days trickled to weeks, months, and by the third one, you were too overwhelmed with paranoia. After deep recollection, you realised he never told you when he would return. Surely, his departure meant a return, right?

You had asked the Nekoma volleyball club alumni and his friends of his whereabouts, and they all told you the same thing: they didn’t know. Desperate, you attempted to contact his sister Alisa, but to no avail. Both Haiba siblings were uncontactable, and the calls always went to voicemail.

Over the days, your fear and anxiety manifested into dark rings, rimming your puffy eyelids. Life went on whilst your heart and mind ran rampant, and eventually, you stopped appearing at work.

Not a day went by without you thinking of him. Your fiancé plagued your mind and heart 24/7, and it was impossible to stop thinking about him.

Where is he? When will he return? What’s taking him so long? Why is he not home yet? Has he forgotten about me?

Did Lev forget that I’m still waiting for him?

…

The front door to your shared apartment creaked slowly, and a raven haired man in a dark suit shuffled in. He closed the door slowly, his pupils dilating to compensate for the lack of light entering the apartment. The once bright green plants lining the balcony were drooping in their eternal shade, signifying that the curtain had not been drawn in days.

The man slipped off his shoes and socks, taking notice of the unworn, white slippers by the front door, then shuffled in. You glanced up from the blankets when you heard the soft padding of feet.

Your heart threatened to leap out of your chest as your eyes grew wide with anticipation. “Lev?” You croaked, hauling yourself to a sitting position. “Is that you?”

The door slowly creaked open to reveal your colleague and good friend, Kuroo Tetsurō. Your smile faded away, and your lips pressed into a thin line.

“Sorry I’m not who you think I am.” The male stood by the now open doorway, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

Ever since you stopped showing up at work, Kuroo would check up on you every weekend, and sometimes the posse would tag along too. The ex-captain had your apartment’s spare key, thanks to Lev, who randomly picked the holder during your home warming party.

You glanced down at the crumpled bed sheets as he walked into the dusty bedroom. Kuroo drew open the curtains leisurely, filling the room with a dim, blue light whilst multi coloured lights from the skyscrapers across the balcony twinkled with animosity. Specks of dust scattered in the air, latching onto the nearby furniture while some drifted aimlessly. The end of the bed dipped as he sat down, and you looked up to find him scrutinising you with a furrowed frown.

“Have you been eating well?” His eyes trailed over your sunken cheeks and jaundiced skin. Your face was devoid of your usual, radiant glow.

You glanced away from his piercing amber eyes. The eyes in the photos atop the nightstand bore holes into your soul as you rasped, “Why are you here? If it’s about work, I already told you that I asked my section manager to let me work from home–“

“(y/n), that’s not why I’m here.” Kuroo interrupted with a huff. Cloth rustled as he fished his phone out of his jacket’s inner pocket. With a few soft taps, he turned to you, and showed you his screen. You squinted your eyes and unconsciously leaned closer to read the blurry, digital print.

“SUPERMODELS HAIBA LEV AND RUSSIAN ACTRESS KHRISTINA SNOW POTTED LEAVING LUXURIOUS HOTEL TOGETHER“

Your eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets as you absorbed the image below the title. It was indeed your fiancé, you could recognise his broad shoulders and otherworldly jawline a mile away.

Dressed in a crisp suit, Lev’s arm was linked with a dainty woman, whose diamond necklace scintillated under the harsh glare of camera lights. The pencil skirt clinging to her wide hips had a scandalously long slit that stopped at her upper thigh, exposing her red lacey panties by a hair length.

Both of them had sunglasses on, but only the woman had a gleeful expression, while Lev’s lips were pressed together tightly. Just like the title had stated, they seemed to be walking away from an edifice constructed of solely glass panels, and you instantly recognised it. It was a renowned, five star hotel. In Japan.

You were too stunned to say anything. Even your mind, which had been incessantly filled with nothing but your lover, was now blank. The information overload was overwhelming.

This is all too much.

Suddenly, Kuroo withdrew his phone, pulling you back to reality with it. “So, I’m guessing you didn’t know?” He raised a dark brow as he pocketed his electronic device. “The article’s from some lowly paparazzi, so I doubt anything’s true… But it’s blowing up on Twitter.”

Your eyes flickered from your trembling hands to the bed sheets as you began quietly. “I… I thought he left for Russia…” Gripping the covers on your lap, your eyes silently brimmed with tears as you continued shakily, “I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m so confused…”

Kuroo‘s gaze never left you as you began shaking uncontrollably. He knew that you were desperately fighting back your tears. It was something you did often back in high school: you would try not to cry in front of the team when they won a match, despite your voice breaks and your glassy eyes. It was something the boys found endearing, especially Lev.

The raventte cursed inwardly at his junior’s stupidity. How could he make such a lovely girl like you cry? Wordlessly, the male shifted closer and pulled you into his chest, surprising you but you didn’t retreat.

Kuroo’s gesture was nothing but friendly, after all. He patted your back reassuringly, and your bottom lip trembled as you clung onto his shirt.

Pitter patter.

Your tears fell like torrents, gushing endlessly as you buried your face into his chest. Gripping tightly onto his dress shirt, you cried into the fabric, wailing the pent up emotions you had kept at bay the past few months. You wept like tomorrow would never come.

…

A few days had passed and you finally decided to confront Lev. Seeing how he wouldn’t respond to your messengers, you decided to hunt him down and talk to him face to face. It was easy to track him down, thanks to the ‘lowly paparazzi’ website, which constantly updated his whereabouts. For once, you were grateful for his overbearing fans.

To be fair, you felt a little bad about his own privacy, but you were also too engulfed in a mixture of confusion, jealousy and infuriation to sympathise with him.

You had everything planned out, what to say and retort, and you had to remind yourself that as much as he deserved to be heard out, you also had a right to be upset with him. Especially after the emotional and mental torment he intentionally (or unintentionally) subjected you to.

But it was impossible to deny that you had hoped that he had a good explanation for everything. You prayed fervently that he would return to your arms, like he always did. Memories of past, better days solely stabilised you during this emotional period.

When the weekend arrived, you threw on a your coat and hopped into your car and drove off. Apparently, Lev and Khristina, were dining at a high class café, located in the fancier suburbs of Tokyo. When you reached there, you parked your car by the sidewalk and sauntered in, ignoring the valet who glanced at you then at your vehicle.

Honestly, you never thought you would see the day when you would resort to stalking your fiancé, just to have a talk with him. But this was no ordinary talk, and the half blood knew when he saw you walk into the café.

You were fuming, brows scrunched up with the angriest expression he had ever seen in his life. Lev jumped up in his seat, like he had seen the ghost of Christmas past, and quickly excused himself.

As he shuffled towards the entrance, he met you halfway and tugged you outside by the wrist. His strides were quick, and he hissed when you dug your fingernails into his hand in defiance.

“Let me go!” You snapped fiercely, like a tigress baring its jaws at its adversary. He released you from his hold when he reached his destination: the back alleys of the shops.

The silver haired man didn’t back away. He was looking at you with shock, hurt and something else. Was it fear, nervousness? You couldn’t tell. You were too frustrated with him.

“(y/n)… I can explain–“ He began, a hand outstretched but you cut him off.

“I told you I‘d wait, didn’t I?” You glared up at him with narrowed eyes. His aghast expression wedged the knife deeper in your heart as you inhaled. “You… You said you had to leave. And I believed you! But four months passed and you didn’t bother to contact me. Not even once…”

Lev ran a hand through his now disheveled hair, which was pushed back until now. “Please, let me explain. I had my reasons, I swear.”

You realised the engagement ring on his finger was nowhere to be seen. Your lover opened his mouth to explain when you deadpanned.

“Where’s your ring?”

Lev’s eyes widened, from fright or concern, you weren’t sure. His usually bright, green orbs would he glowing with love whenever he gazed at you, but not today.

“(y/n), I–“

“Love, who’s that?” Came a sweet, enchanting voice at the start of the alley. It was Khathrina, a long legged lady with platinum blonde hair that cascaded down her back in voluminous waves.

She blinked her thick, wispy lashes at you curiously, and you clenched your jaw in retaliation. Glancing at Lev, you hoped that he would put her in her place. Anything along the lines of ‘she’s my girlfriend’ or ‘fiancé’ would have suffice, but no. It was a far fetched dream.

“No one, my dear.” Came Lev’s response, and he walked past you, bumping shoulders into you in the process. You gasped quietly when he cast you a cold, once over behind his broad shoulders.

He had looked at you as if the two of you had never met before. It burned a hole in your stomach, and you were too stunned to react. Frozen in your spot, your facade crumbled with every step he took, further away from you and to someone else.

When he reached the woman’s side, the duo linked arms and departed without another word.

…

You fumbled with your keys for the hundredth time. It took you a whole five minutes to enter your apartment, and when you did, you slammed the door shut behind you and slumped to the floor.

What on earth was that? How could he do that to me? How is that the same boy I fell in love with?

You had driven over to confront Lev, but in the end all you got was a deeper scar. Everything made no sense, and your mind throbbed with confusion and fatigue.

Everything became blurry as tears overwhelmed your vision, and you tugged at your shirt, at the thorn embedded in your heart. It was so close yet so far and out of reach. Drawing your knees to your chest, you cried your heart out once again.

Moments passed with you laying at the entrance, gazing at the unworn white slippers speckled with dust.

…

Like before, days spun into weeks, months, and even a year. Eventually, you deserted your shared apartment and rented a place, one far away from your previous home. You had only taken your clothes and necessities, leaving behind the photo frames and everything else as everything reminded you of him.

It would be a lie to claim that you didn’t miss him, but you had partially given up when the news stated that supermodels Lev and Khathrina were now married.

It made no sense, really. Perhaps this was all a bad dream, you reasoned, fiddling with the silver band around your ring. Maybe you were in a coma, and this was all a lengthy nightmare that you would soon wake up from.

Yes, when you wake up, your fiancé would be next to you, lying in bed, chest rising in steady rhythms whilst the morning sun shines on his handsome face. Haiba would turn around to greet you good morning through half lidded eyes, and he would tuck your hair behind your ears with a cheeky, yet gentle smile.

There’s no way any of this is real…! We’ve come so far, and he loves me more than anyone can imagine.

But as time passed, you began to realise that, perhaps Haiba Lev had departed long ago.

(ALT. END)　　　　　　　　

You fumbled with your keys for the hundredth time. It took you a whole five minutes to enter your apartment, and when you did, you slammed the door shut behind you and slumped to the floor.

What on earth was that? How could he do that to me? How is that the same boy I fell in love with back then?

You had driven over to confront Lev, but in the end all you got was a deeper scar. Everything made no sense, and your mind throbbed with confusion and fatigue.

Out of nowhere, your phone began vibrating.

Sniffling, you fished it out of your coat and accepted the call blindly. “H-Hello?” You stuttered, rubbing away your tears with the back of your hand.

“It’s me, (y/n).” The familiar warm, low voice of Lev’s filled the silent room. Your eyes grew wide in shock, and you glanced at the caller ID to realise it wasn’t his usual phone number. “I don’t have much time, I’ll be gone by tomorrow, love.”

“Tomorrow? What?” You parroted, albeit dumbly as you raked your foggy mind for clarity.

You could almost imagine the frown on your boyfriend’s face when he blabbered. “Are you crying? I mean, were you…?” His voice trailed off, and you quickly blurted out that you weren’t.

A soft chuckle graced your ears and you felt the frustration and sadness from before ebb away. Leaning against the door, you listened attentively as he directed you to a location where he had agreed to rendezvoused. No sooner had he ended the call did you fly out of the apartment.

When you reached the park, you realised it was already midnight. You waited by a willow tree he had mentioned to you, and within a few minutes, he showed up.

You had lost all your fight and gave in to temptation. Throwing your arms around Lev, you held him in a tight embrace as you buried your face into his neck. Grinning widely, the ‘skyscrapper’ wrapped his arms around your back and rest his head atop yours, humming softly.

“I missed you, (y/n).” He had whispered softly, as if he was afraid that you would disappear any moment. “I’m always thinking of you, your smile, your smell…”

Shamelessly, he pressed his face against your head and inhaled it greedily. You giggled at the warm air tickling your scalp then looked up at him with glossy, doe eyes. “I missed you too. More than you can imagine.”

“Hey, I’m here now,” and Lev’s smile began to fade as he set you down onto your feet. Taking your hand, he guided you to sit under the beautiful willow tree. “I promised I’d tell you everything, and I will.”

As the moon waned in the night sky, you listened intently as the silver haired man explained to you what had happened the past few months. He went into detail that he had received a call from his tragically ill grandmother, that she had requested for him and his sister to return to Russia to see them one last time.

And being the filial grandson he was, he accompanied Alisa back to Russia. But upon their arrival, he realised that she was perfectly fine! Her real motive was to introduce him to a fair maiden, whom she had taken a liking to, and so she did. The girl just so happened to be another model, and one of pure Russian descent.

Lev explained animatedly how upset the old lady was when he told her that he was already engaged.

Your lover raised his ring finger to show you his gleaming band, and you almost teared up at the sight. He continued with a sigh, shaking his head as he relayed that she wanted Lev to give the girl a chance.

And in the end, he was forced to be engaged to her temporarily, until the octogenarian passed on.

So for now, they were spending some time in Japan, as the girl was determined to sightsee with her short-term fiancé. But eventually they would return to Russia, so that they could spend time together with his grandma.

It was, without a doubt, a peculiar situation. But a huge burden had been lifted off your shoulders, now that you knew why they were involved for a while.

“At first I didn’t contact you because I was unsure of myself. What to say, and to think…” He took your hand in his, and raised his head, green orbs gleaming with guilt.

He was threading carefully, something he hardly did, and your heart swelled. “But then it slowly turned into something bigger than that, and I feared that you would leave me because of this mess.

“I know what I did was awful and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I hope you know how much I love you and that I think about you every single day.” Closing his eyes, he brought your hand to his lips to kiss your knuckles tenderly. When he reopened them, he gave you a dejected, lopsided smile. “I always have.”

“Then why did you act like you didn’t know me earlier?” You dipped your head, sideways. “You know, in front of her?”

“I had to put on an act, just to please my granny… I didn’t mean to hurt you,” He squeezed your hand, “This is only temporary. Once it’s over, I’ll return to Japan as soon as possible.”

You swallowed the forming lump in your throat. He was about to depart again, the man you had loved for a decade.

“Promise me you’ll come back. Back to me.” Placing a hand atop his, you locked eyes with him, “Please.”

He brushed back the stray strands of hair to glimpse at your sparkling irises. Lev’s heart clenched at the eyebags under your beautiful orbs, and he leaned forward to press his forehead against yours.

“I promise.”

The willow branches hid two of you from the world as the two of you conversed for hours, catching up on everything that had happened. You spent the rest of the night holding each other in the secluded park, fingers entwined silently.

…

Lev departed for Russia once again when the sun rose. You had bidded him goodbye tearfully, knowing you wouldn’t be able to speak to him in, possibly, a very long time. Nevertheless, you believed in the promise the two of you had made, and that kept you going.

It was still a little sad to wake up every morning without him next to you. Sometimes, you would even mistake a morning zephyr for his breath against your skin. Watching your favourite drama series alone without his ignorant comments and boisterous laughter pained you with a smile. But despite the lonely moments, you pushed forward.

Haiba Lev wasn’t the most level headed person. He was blunt, foolish, assertive, and sometimes, a simpleton. And yet, despite his innumerable flaws, you loved him.

And you knew that one day, he would return. After all, his departure was not permanent.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　fin.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagine #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #lev haiba #haiba lev #haikyuu lev x reader #haikyuu lev x y/n #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #🍡.lev #i dont dare to reread this jssjs

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jeezlouiisee · 5 years ago

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Invisible

Hi all! This is a story I’ve been thinking about and I’m finally putting it out there. I’m hoping to do more parts but I hope you like!

Summary: You were always quiet and shy, until you lost your mother who always encouraged you to put yourself out there. So you do and you’ve caught the eyes of two Pogues.

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings:Just some cursing

The Outer banks had been your home for your entire life and you had no friends, well except Pope. Pope Heyward was your only friend in the obx. You were both on the math team together, you both gushed over the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings. He had wanted to introduce you to his other friends but you just didn’t want too, not yet at least. Then your mom died, car crash and your entire world fell apart. Your mom was your anchor, your confidant, the person who hugged you and calmed you when your anxiety got bad. She was the one always trying to get you out of your shell. It was hard to not have her for the end of your junior year but you survived. Pope and his friends were having an end of summer party at the bone yard, he of course invited you like he always did. However this time you said yes, you made a promise to yourself and your mom that you were going to branch out this year. This was going to be your summer. It was the Saturday after the last day of school which meant party day. You were standing in your room, sighing as you smoothed out the wrinkles in your dress for the 80th time. You looked good, you looked great, right? Of course you did don’t be stupid. You put on a little bit of lip gloss and mascara before grabbing your bag.

“You’re wearing sneakers to a bone yard party?” Your older sister asked as she cut up vegetables for dinner.

“Hey, just because I’m going to a party doesn’t mean I have to wear sandals or heels or something.” You said as you stuck your tongue out.

“Fine, but meet a cute boy and make out with him.” She replied. Your older sister Shelby was all you had. She was about 5 years older than you and she had two jobs, waiting tables at the wreck and helping Popes dad with his deliveries. Your dad had passed away in a boating accident when you were 2, so you was just you three. Until your mom went too.

“I’ll see you later.” Was all you said back before walking out the door. You lived pretty deep in the cut, you lived about a 10 minute walk from the bone yard. By the time you got there the party was in full swing, of course Pope and his friends were near the middle of all the commotion. They were laughing and talking with tourons, as they handed out beers. Pope noticed you almost immediately.

“Y/N! You actually came!” He laughed as he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to his group.

“Guys this is Y/N, the one I was telling you about.” You gave a little wave, extremely shy at the moment.

“Oh yeah,you were both on the math team.” One of his friends, Kiara said. They all snickered under their breath which left you confused.

“Is it bad to be on the math team?” You raised your eyebrow, getting a little defensive. Your mom loved that you were on the math team, so you were protective.

“No no it’s okay, it’s just a little inside joke.” John B said as he pulled his girlfriend Sarah into his side.

“Oh okay, cool. Uhm so, could I get a beer?” You asked, tilting your head as you looked at JJ who was manning the keg stand.

“You? A beer?” He simply chuckled before filling up a cup and handing it to you.

“Yes I want a beer. So what?” You half snapped as you grabbed the beer and taking a sip. You immediately gagged a bit at the taste but continued to drink. JJ smirked at you.

“That’s why, I’ve literally never seen you around here. Why now? Aren’t you like always with your mom?” Ow. Kiara suddenly jabbed him into the side with her elbow.

“JJ.” She hissed, watching as you chewed your lip a bit and suddenly downed the entire drink.

“Right well my mom died three months ago, so I can’t always be with a dead corpse.” You said before handing your cup back to JJ for a refill. JJ looked a bit impressed but also guilty before filling your cup up again.

“Y/N I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” You simply shrugged, sipping your second cup. “I’ve just decided to branch out, be more social like my mom wanted.” You chewed your lips to stop yourself from crying.

“Hey, it’s okay. JJ just has one brain cell that he shares with Pope so it’s okay.” Sarah said with a smile as she walked over and randomly hugged you.

“You’re sticking with us now, got it?” Pope asked as he joined in on Sarah’s little hug with you.

“Okay deal.” You laughed, still a little weary. You glanced up from your hug and noticed that JJs eyes never left yours. You simply looked away as you ended the hug.

“So what do you guys normally do at these parties?”

“Well glad you asked.” JJ grinned as he pulled a blunt out of his pocket.

“Do you want to try this or stick with your beer?”

“I’ll think I’ll try-“

“You should keep the signal clear Y/N.” Pope said as he gave JJ a disapproving look. You laughed a bit at what Pope said before looking to JJ.

“Let’s mess this signal up!” You cheered as you drank your beer. Sarah, John B and Kiara just laughed as Pope shook his head. JJ eagerly lit it and took a hit before handing it to you.

“Do you know how to smoke a blunt?” He asked you seriously as he took a step towards you. Apparently according to Pope the only thing that JJ was ever serious about was weed. You shook your head slowly.

“Nope, never smoked a day in my life.” JJ groaned and pulled you over to sit next to him on the rock he was on.

“Okay, so first obviously you suck in a breath, but then inhale so it gets into your lungs. If it doesn’t then you won’t get high and my weed will go to waste, got it?” You blushed a little as you nodded then hesitantly took the blunt from JJ, putting it to your lips as you breathed in. You made sure to inhale so you could feel it in your lungs, they suddenly felt like exploding as you started coughing, grabbing your cup of beer to help subside it.

“Oh my god, was that supposed to happen?” You chugged the rest of your beer.

“That was terrible.”

“You just gotta get used to it.” Kiara said with a shrug. After what felt like years of couching you asked for another refill of the beer.

“Not tonight, tonight I stick with beer.” You stood up as you got a little confident.

“You guys dance right? I mean, I can go find someone to dance with?” You were nervous even if you were confident but you wanted to do what your sister suggested. You want to make out with a boy. The boys looked a little confused about your question while the girls suddenly grabbed your arm as they both dragged you over to where people were dancing.

“So do you like Pope? Or are you just friends?” Sarah asked as you all danced in a circle.

“What? Pope? And me? No. No! We are just friends.” You started stuttering a bit as you got nervous.

“Why did he say something to you?” You suddenly asked you didn’t know why, but you never thought of Pope like that. But he was kind and funny, plus he always saw you.

“Well no.. but I think you two would be cute together.” Sarah grinned at you right before you bumped into someone.

“Oh my gosh I am so sorry.” You said quickly, turning around.

“Oh it’s no problem really. I can forgive a pretty girl.” The boy you had bumped into was cute, he definitely seemed like a kook but you just wanted to make out with someone. So what if they were a kook?

“Go away Kelce.” Kiara interjected before you could say something.

“She’s not interested.”

“Actually, I am.” You grinned at Kelce.

“Would you want to dance with me maybe?” The boy whose name you know knew was Kelce lit up like a Christmas tree.

“I would love too. And your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Let’s dance Y/N.” He held out his hand for you to take. Once you did he pulled you close and just swayed with you, nothing too inappropriate. It was nice, he didn’t really try to talk to you which kind of bugged you but you just let it go. You glanced over at the Pogues and you suddenly saw both Pope and JJ stand up, which was odd. Then you knew why, you suddenly felt another pair of arms there were not Kelces.

“Well aren’t you pretty?” You suddenly whipped your head around and saw Rafe, you knew him instantly. He tried to get with your sister a few times.

“Back off her.” You heard JJ say, you looked around and saw Pope and JJ directly behind Kelce.

“But she wanted to dance.” That was Rafe.

“Maybe I don’t want to dance anymore..” You tried to pull away from Kelce but then that just caused you to run into the front of Rafe. You looked over Kelces shoulder and found JJs eyes, you looked at him with a look that just begged for him to help you. Suddenly he and Pope yanked Kelce away from you before JJ pushed Rafe to the ground. That was when Sarah got involved.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Uhm so I was dancing with Kelce and everything was great until Rafe came up behind me..”

You had fear in your eyes, shaking a bit as you suddenly hugged Sarah tightly. She hugged back just as tight and pulled you away to go back to the rocks where you had taken your hit. In the background you could hear fighting and arguing. About ten minutes later Pope and JJ came back looking a bit happy. Pope sat down on your right and JJ stole Sarah’s spot on your left. Apparently John B decides to help fight off Kelce and Rafe so Sarah was checking to see how he was doing.

“I’m sorry guys...” You mumbled as you looked down at her hands.

“Y/N what are you talking about?” Pope asked as he hesitantly put a hand on your shoulder.

“You didn’t do anything wrong alright? Those guys are assholes and they deserve whatever they got coming to them.” This time it was JJs time to talk as he playfully nudged your shoulder, you looked over to JJ and smiled a bit.

“Thank you guys but I think I’m gonna go home.” You stood and turned to face them.

“I can too-“

“I’ll walk you home-“ Pope and JJ spoke at the same time.

“Oh uhm, I don’t need anyone to walk me I’m good.”

“Hey Pope! Come help me with this!” Ki yelled while fiddling with the keg.

“I guess I get to walk you home.” JJ grinned and stood up.

“Lead the way.” You started walking, trying to walk a bit fast to make the trip go by quickly.

“So why did you want to dance with someone?” JJ asked as he walked slower, you sighed because you knew he was walking slow on purpose.

“I wanted to get out of my shell more, since my mom died my sister has been trying to motivate me to go out and do things. So tonight she told me to find a boy and make out with him.” You blushed when you said the end of your sentence.

“You could make out with me?” That stopped you in your tracks.

“I’m sorry what?” You turned to look at him, eyes wide.

“Make out with me.” JJ repeated, taking a step towards you which caused you to take a step backward but you didn’t realize that there was a tree directly behind you. You left out a squeal at the feeling.

“You barely know me.... why do you want to make out with me?”

“Because you’re cute and besides, I want you to be able to tell your sister you kissed a cute boy.” He winked, shrugging.

“Uhm fine okay. I’ll make out with you but just this once okay? And don’t tell a soul!” You jabbed your finger into his chest. JJ simply chuckled and took another step towards her, brushing their lips together. You gasped, wrapping your arms around his neck as you eagerly pressed your lips firmly against his. He gripped your waist as he began to press you into the trees, his tongue softly brushing against your bottom lip. That caused you to gasp which was what JJ wanted so he slowly slid his tongue into your mouth.

“Y/N!” You suddenly pushed JJ away from you as you breathed heavily, you looked over JJs shoulder to see Pope running towards you guys.

“Hey I thought I’d help JJ walk you home.”

“Pope I can handle walking a girl home on my own.”

“Hey guys really it’s okay, come on it’s like five more minutes.” You ran your fingers through your hair as you started to walk to your house. You felt awkward but this time you definitely could tell that Pope might like you. After the very silent walk you finally arrived to your house, turning to look at them.

“Thanks for the walk home boys.” You smiled a little, waving to them.

“You want to hang out with us tomorrow? We’re meeting at the Shipwreck tomorrow at 10. Did you come too? I mean Kie did say you’re one of us now.” Pope said eagerly.You glanced over to JJ who was just grinning at you.

“Yeah okay sure. Shipwreck at 10 am.” You quickly turned to unlock your front door.

“Hey Y/N?” You turned to look at JJ.

“Yeah? Have a good night.” He suddenly kissed you on your cheek and turning to start walking.

“Pope you coming?”

“Yeah In a sec.” Pope suddenly kissed your opposite cheek.

“Goodnight Y/N.” With that he turned and the two boys walked away from sight. You quickly walked into your house and locked the door, leaning against it. Did they both like you? You didn’t understand, you were so confused. You were invisible, you weren’t seen and now all of the sudden you had two attractive boys kissing your cheeks? This was going to be a confusing summer.

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lindberghtm · 4 years ago

Text

* . desirée lindbergh was spotted in the fashion district adorning prada platform chelsea boots , with some airpod pros on . they’re most likely listening to you know i'm no good by amy winehouse . you may know them as @desi or as that aisha potter lookalike . their twenty first birthday just passed . while living in the upper east side , they’ve gained a bit of a reputation . they’re known to be duplicitous but on the other hand reliable . wonder if they’ll be the next person to hit the headlines . ( cis female / she/her + c / 21+ / she/her ) .

hey !!!!!! i was planning on coming thru with a cool intro to establish myself as a ~ cool ~ person , but covid has absolutely ✨ decimated ✨ my social skills so ,,,,,,, this is what im left with . anywho hi i’m c ( short for clown tbfh ) , im 21+ , from the rainy ole’ pnw , & i use she / her pronouns . i was in wealthy like , , , , AGES ago & tbh i’ve been missing it real bad lately so here i am with a brand new bitch , , , , , ms . desi lindbergh 🖤 i just finished reading the girl with the dragon tattoo so you’ll find elements from that novel in my biography like the names , & the general ‘ company comes first ‘ & ‘ no one gets a divorce in this family ’ attitudes . but hennyway here’s a pinterest board , & my discord is 𝐌 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁#1264 ( the best tiktok song imo ) . my bio is rambly but there are stats at the top , personality & wanted connections ( inc . this sideblog w wanted plots ) at the bottom ! xoxo

* . stats .

full name : desirée ‘ desi ’ charlotte lindbergh - montenegro

age : twenty - two

gender : cis female

pronouns : she / her

pob ; current home : london , england ; current residence in tribeca .

family : henrik lindbergh ( 80 , deceased , ceo of lindbergh corporation ) ; miriam montenegro ( 46 , lives in the upper east side & london , supermodel turned vindictive widow ) ; no siblings or pets .

birthday : september 2 , 1998 ; virgo sun , taurus moon , cancer rising .

career : heiress / model / daddy’s credit card swiper .

drinking / drugs / smoking : yes / no / occasionally .

physical : aisha potter fc , dark brown mid - length hair , dark brown eyes , no tattoos , two ear lobe piercings in each ear , 5 ′ 6 ″ .

* . character biography .

1998 : miriam montenegro , an english model coming from a humble background , made it big when she was scouted for runway shows , eventually making her way to being a household name . by the age of twenty five , she’d found love ( or , financial comfort , rather ) with the fifty nine year old henrik lindbergh , a swedish business magnate whose involvement in global industrialization spanned far wider than the european economy . the relationship took the world by surprise , miriam’s friends being far more involved in pop culture than an aged man . while she claims it was love , the world had already made up its mind on her motive — money .

the pair got married six months after they initially became involved , & desi was born a year after . her father , the product of the ‘ silent generation ‘ , was of the impression that children should be seen , not heard , an outdated idea that her mother was comfortable abiding by . desirée , by association , quickly became accustomed to the spotlight , the interest in the uncommon relationship between miriam & henrik only growing after the birth of their sole child . desi grew up a prop , a toy for her mother to dress up in matching outfits & parade on the global stage , before stepping behind closed doors & forgetting about the child entirely . this led to desi being raised almost exclusively by nannies , her mother more interested in savouring the last of her youth & her father too busy with his international duties . originally based in london , the family moved to new york when desirée was starting her schooling to be closer to the hustle & bustle of american life .

2017 : desirée is graduating high school a year early after having been sent to institut auf dem rosenberg , a swiss private school that prides itself on being highly exclusive∫ˆ highly expensive . the name was a selling point for her father , but more importantly she would be safe & out of the way on another continent while her parents bickered ceaselessly . desirée found herself to be nothing special at rosenberg , her identity having been formed on the idea that public exposure equated to popularity ; without the constant public eye while at school , desi found a freedom & lightness she hadn’t before experienced . she could be real , & have real friends , & not be putting on a fake smile to allude an air of comfort . most of all , she could get away from her spiteful mother , who , once desi hit puberty , saw her as a threat to her own beauty , success , & public popularity . being sent to private school was the best thing to happen to desi & her mother’s relationship .

after graduating , desirée moved back to new york city , moving back into the expansive upper east side apartment , & being sure to move into a room on the opposite side of the home from her parents . being thrust back into the spotlight , a ‘ homecoming ‘ of sorts that her mother capitalized on , desi fell into a depression . she feared leaving the house , she feared that people would only want to be her friend in order to access the family’s wealth ( a seed of an idea planted in her father at the age of twelve , when she was told there was to be no dating unless their family’s net worth was over 500 million ) . soon enough , though , desi made the choice to get in contact with her mother’s rival modeling agency , inquiring about the possibility about modeling . they , of course , welcomed the legacy with open arms ; her mother , however , decided that this deceipt would not be tolerated under her roof , & kicked desi out as soon as she’d heard . desi called her father crying , explaining the situation over the phone , who immediately created a separate bank account of her own for desi , secretly hidden away in an overseas bank to avoid her mother finding out . the account held far more than desirée needed , but it was her father who enabled her to get back on her feet , find her own home , & start a career for herself .

2020 : desirée hardly speaks to her mother , though they keep up the public illusion that they are as close as a mother - daughter duo can be . her father though , now 80 years old , was actually close with desi , the two catching up daily & him celebrating her accomplishments she believed were self - earned . in october , though , she received a phone call from her father’s attorney , mr. berger , who informed her that henrik was in the hospital in critical condition after a heart attack . she flew to stockholm , where her father had been taking care of business items , & realized that it was time to say her goodbyes . her father & her played chess , talked about her childhood , & reconciled on any old issues . he passed away three days after she’d arrived . seeming as if he’d been able to tell something horrible was coming , henrik had updated his will a matter of weeks before the heart attack , naming desiree as the sole inheritor of all his assets & belongings . except , of course , her mother , who inherited a whopping five dollars from her husband . this was , mr . berger explained to desi , so that miriam could not claim that she had accidentally been left out , & was entitled to more of his estate .

if this wasn’t enough , the press soon released that interntional business mogul henrik lindbergh had passed away , & the companies he owned were now owned by a twenty one year old model who had never truly worked one day in her life . to make matters worse , her mother quickly played the victim , launching a multitude of lawsuits against her own daughter for defamation & coercing her father to leave her mother out of it . berger quickly chose desirée’s side , though he couldn’t become her personal attorney out of conflict of interest with the executing of the will . as the accounts lie in limbo during the legal battle , desi is relying solely on the secret account her father made her in switzerland ; if her mother knew , she would try to go after it , as well .

2021 : desirée has layed low over the last few months , her mother continuing her public display of heartache as the widow . desi can be said to be two - faced due to her sweet disposition one day & her cold attitude the next . in reality , she is normally kind & thoughtful , giving the benefit of the doubt to those two wrong her , but lately she has become more withdrawn , secretive , & volatile . she was recently photographed in a restaurant , crying on the phone with her head in her hand , something she would never normally allow to happen . overall , though , she doesn't want to speak publicly about the legal battle because she considers it a delicate matter & wants to take the high road . because of this , she puts on a face that she's happy , has done her mourning , & intentionally does things to make it seem like life is normal , like making appearances at events about new york city & being spotted hanging out with friends . only a very small handful in her inner circle notice the immense stress she's under because she's good at managing it , & doesn't want to be pitied .

* . personality .

personality wise , she is quite bubbly , thoughtful , dependable , observant , calm , & chooses her words carefully . on the other hand , she can be very hot & cold , self - isolating , two - faced , & tells blatant lies when she ought not to , & denies vehemently when others call her on her bs . she’s the type to remember someone saying they like something , in passing , then suddenly she shows up with that exact thing when she sees them next . her love language is definitely gifts & acts of service . considers herself a good advice giver but won’t take any advice others give her . kind of an air head , in that she can get so wrapped up in her own world that she forgets that others aren’t just npc’s in her life sfjklsd . can get overwhelmed easily , & retracts back into herself & isolates in her apartment for days on end , pampering herself with huge shopping sprees , overpriced face masks , & too much champagne . her way to deal with problems is to pretend they’re not there until eventually they go away 🤡

the world knows the bulk of the lindbergh - montenegro affair , as its known in the media , thanks to her mother taking interviews left & right to allude to her being snubbed by her own daughter . desi pretends that it does not bother her , that justice will be served & that legality will prevail over her mother’s cries , but the weight of the affair is taking a toll on her .

* . wanted plots .

click here for sideblog with wanted plots !

best friend / ride or die : someone desi’s been friends with for YEARS , knows all her family’s bs , prob has called her mother a b*tch to her face dflkjsdkl . literally the nicole to her paris , the lorelai to her rory .

squad : a group of friends who go clubbing every saturday & get brunch & gossip the next morning , have shady nicknames in their gc , have designated ‘ roles ’ in the friend group ( mom friend , the cr*ckhead , the wingperson , etc . ) , go on trips together , have the wildest birthday parties , etc . please !!

first love : this would’ve been in their teens , a summer fling that she fell hard for & who her father didn’t approve of bc he’s business - minded first . they tried to do long distance when she went back to school in the fall , but it didn’t work out & now they’re either on good terms & have sweet memories of that time , or one is still kinda salty how things ended .

bad influence : encourages desi to get the stick out of her *ss , & when she hangs out with them , they tend to go overboard on whatever the entertainment of the night may be .

friends to lovers / slow - burn romance : they’re friends first , but there’s been undeniable romantic tension between the two of them ( imagine pope towards kiara in obx ) , & their friends can pick up on it . they’ve never acted on it , worried of ruining the friendship , but they’re always a lil disappointed when the other goes home with or gets involved with someone else , but are ultimately there to pick up the pieces afterwards .

enemies / mutual dislike : maybe someone whose family her father screwed in business , their parents could have been friends before desi’s mom turned on them somehow , they think desi thinks she’s queen of the world , etc . let’s plan it out hehe

cheating : oop ! i love the angst , so gimme someone who either a ) cheated on desi , or b ) they think she cheated on them due to some tabloid article , rumor around town she was seen with someone , etc . their relationship was prob rocky as fuck , toxic , & lacked trust & communication . just a total shit show tbh .

that’s all i can think of now dskljfkl please feel free to reach out over tumblr msgs or on discord !

#wealthyhq:intro #excited 2 be here 🖤

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sunflowergirl522 · 5 years ago

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Legally Blonde 3: Harvard Variations

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Just a legally blonde AU with you starring as Elle Woods. Based on both the movie and the musical.

Warnings: Language

Word Count: 1908

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Pulling up to the school fills you with excitement. It’s a new atmosphere than it is back in California but you’re enjoying it so far.

“Oh, Rocket! It’s so exciting! Look, Harvard!” Rocket turns from the window of your convertible to you and gives back a small bark with his tail wagging.

The moving van pulls up right behind you when you get to your dorm building. Students begin to gather around and chatter amongst themselves about the scene in front of them.

“Well this is our home for the next three years, Rocket. Oh, are you thirsty? Let’s get you some water. Sweetheart, you just look parched. Here you go.” You pull out a collapsible dog bowl out of your purse and fill it up while placing Rocket on the ground. “Good boy, Steve’s gonna be so excited to see you. Guys, this way.” You walk into the building with Rocket and the moving guys right behind you, ignoring the comments a few people yell towards you. “Now, don’t be scared. Everyone will love you.” You look down and say it to Rocket when in reality you’re just trying to hype yourself up for this.

***

“Hi. Y/L/N, comma, Y/n.” The man behind the table looks you up and down before handing you your group of papers.

“Class schedule, map, book list.” He flips through his list of names to mark you off.

“Wait a second, my social events calendar is missing.” This causes him to look up at you, not sure what you’re talking about.

“Your what?”

“Social events. You know, mixers, formals, clam bakes, trips to the Cape.” He only chuckles and looks back down at his clipboard. “Okay. Has Steve Rogers checked in yet?”

“Um… No. You know, maybe you should check with the cruise director on the lido deck.”

You only hum to yourself before turning and walking away trying to ignore how the comment affected you. You pretend as if you didn’t feel a stab in your heart and a twist in your stomach. You just place a happy smile on your face ignoring the thought of what if you can’t do this.

***

“Hello, I’m Bucky Barnes, welcome to the hallowed halls of Harvard Law. I know first hand how hard you’ve all worked to be here today so let’s go around and say a few things about yourselves.” Bucky speaks to the three students on the bench in front of him.

“My name is Thor Odinson. I have a masters in Scandinavian Studies, and a Ph.D. in Theology. And for the last eighteen months I’ve been teaching self defense classes to those who need them.”

“Welcome to Harvard.”

“Tony Stark. I won a Fulbright and a Rhodes. I write financial software codes but that’s a challenge I’ve outgrown. How many yachts can one man own? Some say that I’m a pompous creep, somehow I don’t lose that much sleep. Why bother with false modesty? Harvard’s the perfect place for me.”

“Welcome to Harvard.”

“Hey how’re you doing, I’m Valkyrie. I got a Ph.D. from Berkely in Women's studies, emphasis in the History of Combat. I did the Peace Corp overseas, inoculating refugees in family clinics that I built myself from mud and trees. I fought to clean up their lagoons and save their rare, endangered loons.” Just as Bucky is about to welcome her she stands up and speaks again. Bucky just sits in her old spot. “But now I’m on the legal track, because this country’s out of whack and only women have the guts to go and take it back. We'll make the government come clean and get more people voting Green, and really stick it to the phallocentric war machine.”

“I love your top, it is so fatigue chic!” All of their heads turn to look at you when you speak. “So how psyched are you guys? First day at Harvard Law! My name is Y/n Y/l/n and this is Rocket Y/l/n.” You move in front of Valkyrie and shake her hand.

“Uh, we were just going around the circle, tell us something about yourself.”

“Me?” Bucky just motions for the seat between him and Tony and nods. “Okay, well I have a bachelor’s degree from UCLA where I was Zeta Lambda Nu sweetheart and president of my sorority, Delta Nu, and last year I was homecoming queen. Oh! Two weeks ago I saw Beyonce at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous cable knit tube top. Whoever said orange is the new pink was seriously disturbed!”

Bucky chuckles a bit at that more at the way you said it than anything else. “I did not know that.”

“Does anyone know where I can find Civil Procedures Class with Professor Fury?”

“Actually some of us are heading there, so I’m sure somebody would be happy to show you.” Bucky missed when everyone darted away. “Ah well it’s in Hauser, over there, second building on the left.

“Thank you.” You smile at him and get up to leave.

“You know, I don’t think dogs are exactly allowed in class.” Bucky stands and you turn towards him.

“Oh, Rocket’s not a dog, Rocket’s family. I’ll just drop him off in my room, he’d be happier there anyway. I’ll see you later then!” You give him a little wave before turning and leaving. Bucky just stands there for another minute with a small smile on his face.

***

Walking down the hall to your class you see Steve reading things off of a bulletin board. It stops you in your tracks. With a new found confidence you walk up and start to pass him.

Steve does a double take as you pass. “Y/n?”

You fake surprise as you turn to look at him. “Steve? I totally forgot you go here.”

“What are you talking about? I’m sorry. Are you here to see me?”

“No, silly. I go here.”

“You go where?” You can hear the confusion seeping out of his voice.

“Harvard. Law school.”

“You got into Harvard Law?”

“What, like it’s hard?” You completely down play all of the hard work you did to get here. “Oh, my gosh, Steve, it’s gonna be so great.” Steve’s mouth stays agape as he tries to come to terms with all of this. “Oh, uh, time to go. I have to go to class, but meet me after on the benches, okay? Alright bye!” You leave Steve behind with his mouth still wide open in complete and utter shock.

You sit in the front of the class and pull out your little notebook after seeing your classmates all on laptops ready to type notes.

“A legal education means you will learn to speak in a new language. You will be taught to achieve insight into the world around you, and to sharply question what you know.The seat you have picked will be yours for the next nine months of your life. And those of you in the front row...Beware.” The professor looks straight at you with the eye without the patch and your smile falls for a minute. “The law is reason free from passion. Does anyone know who spoke those immortal words? Yes?” He calls on the big guy you had seen when everyone was introducing themselves.

“Aristotle.”

“Are you sure?” Professor Fury approaches him and leans towards him.

“Yes.”

“Would you be willing to stake your life on it?”

“I think so.”

“Oh. What about his life?”

“Ow.” The man that the professor hit with a pencil ducks down.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, I recommend knowing before speaking. The law leaves much room for interpretation, but very little for self doubt.” Fury takes the seating chart from in front of you on his way back to the front. “And you were right. It was Aristotle. I assume all of you have read pages one through forty-eight and are now well-versed in subject matter jurisdiction. Who can tell us about Gordon v. Steele? Someone from the hot zone. Y/n Y/l/n?” You look up and get surprised with him in front of you.

“Um, actually, I wasn’t aware that we had an assignment.”

“Peggy Carter. Do you think it’s acceptable that Ms. Y/l/n is not prepared?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Would you support my decision to ask her to leave class and return only when she is prepared?”

“Absolutely.” Fury turns to look at you expectantly. You close your mouth fuming over this and pack up your stuff before getting up and leaving. You go straight outside to the benches where you’re supposed to meet Steve.

Bucky looks up and follows you as you sit down before going back to his work. When you begin mumbling to yourself he begins to get concerned. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Ya. Do they put you on the spot like that all the time?”

“The professors? Yeah, they tend to do that. What did Fury kick you out for?” You haven’t looked up yet so it shocked you that the man speaking knew whose class you were just in.

“Oh hello again!” You smile at Bucky when you turn to see him behind you. “I didn’t know there was a reading.”

“He made me cry once, not in class, I waited till I was in my room but yeah. He’ll kick you in the ass. He’s tough, really tough.”

“Great.” You sigh and turn back around.

“It gets better though. Who else do you have?”

“I have Pierce, Hill, and McCoy.”

“Speak up in Pierce’s class. He likes people who are opinionated. And in McCoy’s class try to sit in the back. He tends to spit when he talks about product liability. And for Hill, make sure you read the footnotes, ‘cause that’s where she gets a lot of her exam questions from.”

“Wow, I’m really glad I met you.” You beam at him and Bucky likes you he can feel it.

“Hey, Y/n.” Steve comes up to you and your attention immediately goes to him.

“Hey! Thanks for all your help.”

“Good luck.” Bucky watches you get up and approach Steve before he gets up himself.

“Hi, Steve.”

“Hi. Uh, so… How was your first class?”

Oh, it was good, except for this horrible preppy girl who tried to make me look bad in front of the professor. But no biggie. You’re here now. So how was your summer?”

“Good. It was good.” Steve stumbles over his words, still not believing that you’re here.

“Did you do anything exciting?” It was at that moment when the girl, Peggy, comes up from behind Steve.

“Hey!” Steve chuckles nervously not sure how this will all pan out. “Have you met Peggy?”

“Oh, hi. Peggy Carter.”

“Do you know her?”

“Uh, she’s…”

“I’m his fiancee.” His grandmothers ring glistens in the sunlight.

“I’m sorry. I just hallucinated. What?”

“Yeah. She was my girlfriend in prep school. And we got back together this summer at my grandmother’s birthday party.”

“Steve told me all about you. You’re famous at our club. But he didn’t tell me you’d be here.”

“Boo Bear, I didn’t know she would be here.” Hearing him call her the nickname he called you was just a stab in the chest.

“Excuse me.” And with that last word you turn to walk away, tears in your eyes.

#bucky barnes au #bucky fic #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #legally blonde #legally blonde au #steve rogers

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jokertrap-ran · 4 years ago

Photo

[Stand My Heroes] 挽夏のミステリーブライド (Late summer Mystery Bride) Event Story: Part ② Translations

*Sutamai Master-list *MC name is retained default Izumi Rei *Scenario Writer: @eno_bara (榎戸乃ばら)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Special Stages

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: Whoa…This is amazing. It’s really a Castle!

???: (――This girl! …Kiyo-san!?)

???: (…No, but that’s impossible!)

???: (Upon closer inspection, isn’t her face and body way thinner than Kiyo-san’s?)

???: (--But her aura does resemble her a little, somehow…)

Hinata: The air in here’s really cool.

???: (--What!? She’s bringing in one guy after another trailing after her!?)

Miyase: Ohh, so that’s why it feels as cool as a cooler in here!

???: (This man…the aura he gives off resembles that of a servant calling from the Kurodas, a family who I didn’t like even within our Social Circles.)

???: (They look as if they aren’t capable of hurting even a fly on the outside, but I hear that they’d do all sort of things in the shadows to protect their properties…)

Kirishima: …………

???: (…Hm?)

Kirishima: …………

???: (W-What’s with this guy with his odd hair colouring!?)

???: (Actually, is he— Is he looking at me?)

Miyase: …Kirishima-san? What’s wrong?

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Kirishima: …………

???: (…………)

Miyase: …Kirishima-san? What’s wrong?

Kirishima: Huh?

Miyase: You must be tired from driving. I apologise for leaving the wheel to you.

Kirishima: No, I’m not the least bit tired at all. Plus, I love driving!

???: (Am I just mistaken? Well, I suppose that there are always people out there with sharp senses.)

???: (So it’s not all that odd for there to be someone who can see me or feel my presence…)

Kujo: Don’t you all want to know more about this Castle before you wander off exploring?

???: (Hah? What would you know about me?)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Kujo: His parents died early-on in his life and it seems like he, himself, died young, having taken his own life.

???: (Hey, hey…That’s really personal information right off the bat!)

Kirishima: …Did he die in this room?

???: (——！)

Kujo: How’d you guess that?

Kirishima: No, I just…had a feeling.

???: (I knew it. This guy…he can sense my presence!)

Kirishima: Please continue; tell us more.

Kujo: Apparently, the only thing he had written in his Suicide Note was “I’m bored”.

???: (It was something I wrote on a whim. But…it’s true.)

Kujo: For it he already had someone he had been enraptured with.

Shindo: But he had to let go of her— Was she the Wife of another?

???: (Urk! How dare you rub salt onto my wound like that!!)

Hinata: The person that held his interests might be the girl reflected in this Photo Album here.

???: (Wha-!? Hey, hands off! Don’t go casually opening my Kiyo-san Collection!!)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Miyase: Wow, she’s pretty dazzling.

Kujo: She bears some resemblance to you.

???: (I know, right!?)

???: (--Wait, no! Now’s not the time for this! Don’t defile another’s treasure any further-!)

Shindo: It’s a little ironic that someone wealthy enough to own a Castle like this has to lower themselves down to the likes of a stalker who stockpiles photos of his target.

???: (Don’t defile it anymore!!)

Rei: Eek!

Kirishima: Rei!?

???: (Oh no! Kiyo-san- No, I’ve hurt her doppleganger!)

Rei: I’m fine.

???: (Thank goodness…)

Rei: Rather than that, what just happened just now?

Hinata: The Teacup moved on its own accord…?

???: (I unconsciously lost control of my emotions, but this works out just as well. I’ll chase these rude people out of here!)

???: (Maybe I should drop a tome or two?)

Rei: Eek-!!

Kaname: After the Teacup comes a book this time…?

Kujo: What’s going on in here?

???: (It was I who did it!)

Shindo: Perhaps it was due to the fault of the Construction Workers. The shelves could have been compromised by the renovations.

???: (I said I’m the one who did it!)

Kirishima: …………

Miyase: Anyway, wouldn’t it be better for you to change out of that, Rei-san?

Rei: Oh, right! I’ve brought a spare set of clothes, so I’ll just pop into the rooms to change.

???: (No, leave already…!)

Kujo: How about changing into an outfit fitting for a place like this if you’re going to have to change anyway?

Rei: Huh?

Kujo: I do think that it’s best to enjoy a trip to it’s fullest, no matter what twist and turns there may be along the way.

???: (Hah…!?)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: (I’ve ended up dressing in something pretty cute…)

Sliding my arms into the sleeves of a dress decorated with lace and ribbons with a retro-feel to it, I headed back out into the corridor.

Rei: (It feels as if I’m fitting right into the atmosphere of this castle, just by walking a little in this. I think I’m starting to feel it!)

Rei: (…Still, why did the Teacup move all of a sudden?)

???: --Oo? Now, doesn’t that suit you quite well?

Rei: What?

I turned around. Standing there was none other than—

Rei: Oh! Shindo-san! You changed too? That really suits you!

Shindo: You didn’t pin up your hair? There’s an accompanying flower peony pin to go along with this outfit, isn’t there?

Rei: Yes; there was one, but…I don’t know how to put it on. Wait, actually, how did you know?

Shindo: Because both that dress and the flower pin were both bought for her.

Rei: Her?

Shindo: …Although I didn’t manage to give them to her in the end.

Rei: Shindo-san?

Shindo: ……

Rei: ???

Shindo: --You do look alike afterall.

Rei: Huh? To whom?

Shindo: …………

Rei: (He seems to be acting a little odd…)

Shindo: …Let us proceed. I shall escort you back to the Study.

He extended out a hand in my direction, surprising me, for I never thought that he’d actually do something like that.

Rei: (Is he also trying to enjoy this entire experience too since it’s what’s “Happening” now?)

Rei: (Whatever the reason may be, it won’t do for me to turn down his kindness now that he has extended it.)

Rei: Thank you. Then, if you’d please.

Shindo: Your hand, if I may?

Rei: Okay.

Rei: (Eek……!)

I unwittingly flinched at the icy coldness of his skin as my fingers brushed against his. It caught me by surprise.

Shindo: What?

Rei: N-Nothing! I’ll be in your care!

I took his hand, as cold as ice, as we started walking.

Rei: (…Maybe the air-conditioning’s temperature was set too low?)

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Rei: I’ve returned. Sorry for making you all wait.

Kirishima: Oohh! You look real nice in that!

Kujo: It suits you really well.

Miyase: Truly. You do look utterly magnificent in a dress.

Hinata: …Cute.

Rei: !

Kaname: You really do say things like that as if it’s as natural as breathing.

Hinata: But you think so too, don’t you, Kana?

Kaname: Not really.

Kaname adverted his eyes from both Shion and I, decidedly lifting the teacup to his mouth.

Hinata: Are you hiding your mouth from sight because you just told a lie?

Kaname: Can you please not attach a reason to the actions of another as you please?

Hinata: You’re cute too, Kana. Just like Rei-san in a dress.

Kaname: Haa…Enough of that already.

Rei: Ahaha. It’s a little embarrassing, but I’ll take those words of praise in stride. Thank you.

Shindo: I don’t really care, but did you really lug that dress all that way here from the corridors?

Rei: !!

Shindo: ……? What? Don’t go making a face as if you’ve just seen a ghost.

Rei: S-Shindo-san?

Shindo: Do I look like someone else to you?

My breath hitched in my throat as I spun around to look behind me. Shindo should have been right behind me, having entered the room after he has escorted me here and opened the door for me.

Rei: …But he’s, not…

Shindo: Hey…?

Kaname: What’s wrong, big sis?

Rei: I came back here with Shindo-san, but…

Shindo: What?

Kirishima: He’s been here all this time, though.

Rei: He’s been here all along…?

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Goosebumps started to form on my skin. And I recalled how icy Shindo’s fingers had felt against my touch.

Rei: But I’m certain that I came back here together with Shindo-san and he had changed into another outfit as well…

Shindo: Did the heat get to you?

Kaname: I don’t think Kiyoshi-san would change outfits unless there’s a good reason for it.

Rei: (Come to think of it…)

I did think that he was “acting different from usual”.

Rei: (But then, that means that the person earlier was…)

Rei: A-Ahaha! Please don’t pull my leg like this, guys. I don’t like being scared like that.

Miyase: He’s really been here all along.

Kujo: I swear we’ve not schemed anything along the lines of remotely scaring you…

My nervous laugh quite literally froze on my face.

Rei: Then…Who was the Shindo-san who came here with me?

Kujo & Miyase: ……

Hinata & Kaname: ……

Kirishima: …………

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

???: (It’s the first time I’ve assimilated the form of another, but now I see…)

???: (I couldn’t move the body as freely as I’d like when I escorted her, and my head was reverberating with a voice, buzzing around saying “money”.)

???: (Which means that there’s conflict between my will and the will of the person whose body I’ve assimilated since our thoughts and actions clash.)

???: But now I know, since I’ve gotten up-close to her. She’s…She really does resemble Kiyo-san.

???: …More, I wish to keep her by me.

???: I wish to know more about that girl.

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Study ☆⋅⋆

Rei: Then…Who was the Shindo-san who came here with me?

A heavy silence fell upon all of us as neither of us could come up with anything. –Just then, A sudden ringing sound pierced through the deathly silence.

Miyase: Is that someone’s phone?

Kirishima: Not mine.

Kaname: Not mine either.

Rei: Sorry…! It’s mine.

Checking my phone, I saw the Caller ID of “Yui Kotaro” flashing across it.

Rei: I’ll go pick it up. It might be a work-related call.

I placed my hand on the doorknob and pushed the door open.

Kirishima: Rei, wait a minu-

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: (--Eh.)

I had only taken a single step outside. And I could see that night had already fallen from the corridors. The sound of the door shutting behind me echoed, but the sound of an incoming call had somehow died somewhere along the way.

I gulped and whirled around to re-open the door that I had just closed.

Rei: (It’s not opening! Why is it not opening…!?)

It didn’t budge an inch, no matter how much I pushed or pulled at it.

Rei: What’s going on…?

Rei: --Right, the phone call!

Rei: Yui-san…

I breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of the call connecting. It was almost as if it was my one connection to reality.

Yui: “—Izumi?”

Rei: (Thank the gods that he picked up…!)

Rei: Sorry for the sudden call, Yui-san! But I think I’m starting to hallucinate…

Yui: “You’re hallucinating…?”

Rei: Exactly! Like how I thought that I had been together with Shindo-san and how it’s suddenly night outside the moment I stepped out of the room and-!

Yui: “Calm down, Izumi…and……so,”

Rei: Yui-san?

Yui: “…Therefore………nd……ah…”

Rei: Um, you’re actually cutting off-

The line went flat with a beep.

Rei: ――!

I went into my contacts list and attempted to dial him again. What I heard on the other end of the line was-

“The phone number you’re dialling at this current moment in time is not in use”.

Rei: How is this possible!?

???: Izumi, don’t fear.

Rei: Eek…!

The voice that called out from behind sounded eerily familiar. Heart in my throat, I fearfully turned around…

Rei: Y-Yui-san…?

─────────────────────────⋅…⋆⋅☆

⋆⋅☆ Old Castle: Corridor ☆⋅⋆

Rei: (What’s Yui-san doing here? And dressed like that too…)

Yui: Izumi, I can’t stop myself from wishing to know more about you.

Saying as such, Yui(?) stepped a foot forwards and I, in turn, took a step backwards. My back met the door with an audible thud. He placed a hand on the side of my face, as if trying to ground my vision as my eyes darted left and right, seeking an escape path.

Rei: ……!

Yui: Tell me all about yourself.

Yui: Because for all sakes and purposes, I…

Yui: Because…I…

Yui: Ngh…

Rei: Yui…-san?

Yui: Ugh…Urk…Ngh—What’s with this guy’s mental state!?

Rei: Wha?

Yui: T-THIS GUY! HE WANTS TO KNOW YOUR BLOOD TYPE, HE WANT YOUR HAIR, YOUR CELLS, AMONG MANY OTHERS! HE’S TWISTED!!

Rei: Umm…?

Yui: Ugh…his thoughts are deafening!

Yui: The will of a living person is this strong!? All I want to do is to borrow this vessel for a little while!

Rei: Yui-san…?

Yui: Back up for a moment! This guy won’t work!

His pink hair wavered and then-- He disappeared from my sight in the blink of an eye; not a trace of him to be found.

Rei: ……Wha- what??

Rei: (This must be……a dream. I’m dreaming!)

Rei: (Maybe I collapsed the moment I exited the room back in the waking world?)

I pinched my arm, hard, to confirm my suspicions.

Rei: --Why? It hurts…

The ill-sinking feeling returned to my gut once more in full force as I heard a voice coming from the other side of the door that I had my back to.

???: Izumi-san? I wish to open these doors. May I?

Rei: (That’s Miyase-san’s voice!?)

Rei: F-Feel free!

I stepped backwards, putting enough space between myself and the door so that the door could open without issues. The heavy wooden doors creaked open slowly, revealing—

Miyase: Oh, I apologize. Please don’t look so frightened.

───⋅𝕿𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖓𝖊𝖝𝖙 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊…⋆⋅☆

#Stand My Heroes #スタンドマイヒーローズ #スタマイ #Sutamai #Translations #Otome #挽夏のミステリーブライド #Late summer Mystery Bride #Asagiri Tsukasa #Imaoji Shun #Kujo Soma #Yui Kotaro #Hinata Shion #Yamazaki Kaname #Miyase Go #Shindo Kiyoshi #Kirishima Koya

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malifikook · 6 years ago

Text

College Fiasca

what happens when a simple dare turns into something more?

a/n: hi everyone! this happens to be my first proper fic; i was previously @starryblue08 but i got locked outta my acc :( anyways i hope you enjoy! feedback is greatly appreciated :D

“Oi! You lot! Get moving!”

A chorus of frustrated groans and grumbles came before the lingering crowd set into motion, around the track that circled around the field, littered with runners and students jogging.

“Can you believe coach?” Your friend slowed down to your pace, her breath barely picking up as she rolled her eyes. “Rumour has it that him and mistress number five have broken up. Tragic, right?”

“Don’t make fun.” You chided but a laugh seemingly escaped you, looking ahead as you ran, inhaling in the crisp cold air and smiling. You loved this kind of weather. It was exactly what you needed after the stressful week of exams.

Coming to a stop when the burning in your lungs was too much, you gasped in lungfuls of air as you bent over, hands on knees and blinking.

“You good there, Y/N?”

A couple of your friends gathered around you and you blinked back black circles. Maybe it was the too tiny breakfast you had.

Pushing up, you gave them a broad smile. “Yeah, I’m good.”

The laps had finished and coach had sent you all off to wash up. Crowded up near a bench, you sat with your head tilted back as you gulped down the fresh water. Popping it off, you gasped as you felt the clear aqua drip down your chin.

“Y/N! Look!” a hiss came in your ear and you turned your eyes to the direction of the pointing finger.

At the end of the finger was the perfectly chiseled body of Jeon Jeongguk’s, standing in all his post-run sweaty state, tilting his head back as he ran his hands through his hair, chest heaving as he inhaled in and exhaled slowly.

You ripped your eyes away and turned to look up at your friend innocently, ignoring the dangerous blush on your cheeks and cocked up an eyebrow. “What about him?”

“Apparently he’s broken up with Lia.” She carried on, plopping down on the free area nearby you. “Do you think I should shoot my shot?”

The words he’s a human, not a game was on the end of your tongue, but you were wise enough to keep hush, so you snapped up your bottle and stood. “Sure. I’ll go change.”

While you slipped the sticky clothes off of your body, you thought back to Jeon. He certainly wasn’t your type-right? He was a player, a wet dream of every high school girl, no doubt. But you tried to weigh out the pros and cons. He most likely could not even know the difference between a stop sign and a go ahead sign. You had seen his car- a cherry red convertible. How he had that sort of money in college was beyond your reason.

You entertained the idea that he was a drug dealer the whole walk back out to your friends, and you found yourself smiling.

When you sat back down on the ground, you were easily absorbed in the game your friends had started, and you laughed. Were they really playing-

“Truth or Dare?”

You thought for a long moment before, “Truth.”

“Agh, spoilt sport.” Jean pouted but thought before asking, “You still a virgin?”

You pinked, jerking up in your seat and glancing down, picking at the edges of your bag’s rim. How on earth were you gonna reply to that?

“Oh my god!” She squealed. “My tiny baby! We need to get you out there and find a man! Oh my gosh, let’s see who you could fuck, hmm.”

“Whoa, wait-“ you protested, hands coming to gain her attention yet simultaneously hide yourself from all the other surprised stares from the other people around you. You felt your palms grow sweaty.

“Oh my god yes! I’ve got it!”

You narrowed your eyes. “What?”

“Nothing.” With coy eyes, she shrugged her narrow shoulders and turned her head, smiling mysteriously. “Who’s turn is it?”

The game continued, and you waited nervously for good reason, knowing that that flint in Jean’s eyes meant trouble.

And alas, the bottle landed again on you and Jean.

She glanced up, eyes shining and smile triumphant. “Ask Jeon Jeongguk to fuck you.”

“W-What?” Your voice picked up in a high pitch and you struggled to bring it down from all the weird gazes thrown around from the other players. You spoke in a hushed whisper, away from the other players, “Jean I don’t think-“

“You will do it, won’t you?”

The other players’ eyes care into your view and you gazed with wide terrified eyes at them all. Panic started to creep up your throat. Self Consciousness and Doubt slithered up your spine. All these eyes meant murmurs behind your back.

You couldn’t have a repeat of last time.

Ripping your eyes away, you stumbled up to your feet.

Jean seemed to pick up your change in mood, eyes blinking up at the slight quiver of your lashes, and rose to say, “Hey look it’s okay-“

“It’s fine.” You said dismissively, slight bitterness creeping into your voice. “I’ll do your stupid dare.”

Being a new transfer student mid-college year was tough. With no one you knew, a whole new course that made you tug at your hair, and the oh too much free time you had made you feel extremely lonely. You had thought coming here would change your life for the better - yet you were still to see any changes.

You had found Jean in between classes on the floor, crying her eyes out. When you had loomed over her to ask if she was alright, through bleary eyes she had waved to the area nearby and had croaked out, “Come join me - I’m in the middle of my weekly crying sessions; it’s very therapeutic.”

It was safe to say you had grown to be close friends quite quickly.

But still, you were only two months new to the school. Whereas Jean had a bunch of friends, your social circle was limited to two people: Jean, and the librarian Hana. She had no idea of your inner thoughts, of how hard you were on yourself, how destructive your mind could be.

But then again, who’s fault was that that she had no idea about it?

Rubbing your hands into your jeans, you gulped as you stared at the crowd of boys nearby the targeted boy known as Jeongguk. The whoops behind you grew and you squeezed your eyes shut before inhaling.

It would be okay. He most probably would not even recognize you.

Taking tentative steps forward, you felt the anxiousness and nervousness creep up inside of you as the faces of the boys cleared and you scanned the number of boys. Six - was it six other boys?

Jeongguk had his back to you, proudly standing with a ball looped around his arm and pressed to his waist as his hip cocked out and he talked to the other boys who stared up at him.

You heard the bare sentence of, “…yeah it was a tough game, nearly lost it! But then Tae here came running in-“

“That’s hyung to you.” Another boy with floppy grey hair grunted, twisting the cap of a bottle open and chugging it down.

“Ah no need to ruin the fun.” Jeongguk’s arms lowered and you stared at the muscles moving in his shoulders underneath the fabric before shaking yourself and shuffling around.

You cleared your throat, heart pounding to your ears and against you fingertips.

It’s now or never.

“Excuse me?”

The same grey haired boy first met your gaze and you held it, nervously chewing on your lip.

He gave a soft smile, the green and black uniform doing his tanned skin justice. “Hi, can I help you?”

The other boys were absorbed in fighting with each other, loud and obnoxious as they created the loudest sounds on the field.

You winced and leaned away from the noise, glancing at the grey haired boy. “I’m looking for Jeongguk?”

The boy’s confused gaze cleared and somewhat flattened as he turned to the mess of the boys and called out, “Jeon, you’ve got company!”

Your heartbeat tripped and on impulse you gazed down at your hands and counted all fingers before looking up and sweeping your eyes to make eye contact with Jeon Jeongguk.

Oh fuck

He seemed prettier up close, with wide brown eyes and a nice jawline and bouncy, brown coloured hair. Though, contradicting his baby face was his well toned body that eagerly tried to distract you but you kept your eyes above shoulder level.

“Can I uh- help you?”

It was so clear he did not know you and you nearly squeezed your eyes shut; yet the burning gazes on your back made you wrench your eyes open.

The dare, we have to ask him about the dare

So breathing in, you rushed out in one breath, “Ineedtotalkwithyoualone.”

He blinked, hands on his hips as he true to decipher the stranger in front of him. “Excuse me?” He glanced at Taehyung in hopes of his friend deciphering the jumbled up words.

“I’ll be over there.” The grey haired boy snorted and pointed to where the rest of the guys sat and strolled over to them, casually sitting on one jock’s lap whose jacket said JIMIN.

Jeongguk’s boring eyes turned to you, undivided attention making you squirm, and cocked his head to the side. “So? What is it?”

It was like a dam inside of you had broke.

“Look okay I know you don’t know me and I barely knew who you were until like a week ago, but see I have a bunch of people over there who-who started to play a round of Truth and Dare a-and god I know what you’re thinking like -Truth is Dare? Really? - even I thought that but I was there and they had already started playing and- and they asked me i..if i was a virgin and I couldn’t lie so i said yes and then they sent me out here to get you to mess around with me b-but look I would never! I’d-“

“Whoa whoa whoa!”

You broke off into a heaving breath when the pretty boy in front of you held his hands up and you ducked your head, pressing a hand to your head as you felt your cheeks heat up.

God you were such a klutz.

“That’s some dare.”

You picked up on the amusement in his voice and raised your head, eyebrows jumping up at the baby pink lips on his face grinning. “You alive, ma’am?”

You barely had time to process the meaning of the sentence before he said, “Well look I’m honoured but-“

“Oh my god no.” You interrupted him in realization. Running a hand through your hair. you gaped up at him. “Then when I go back they’ll ask me if I did it. I can’t go back looking like a fool.”

The anxiety trickled back into your bloodstream, the disappointed murmurs echoing in the back of your head,”Can’t even get a guy to sleep with her? Shame,” the lingering judging stares you’d have to bear. You had to think. Think fast.

You two stood there in silence for a second before you snapped your fingers. “Aha! Okay got it! You pretend to nod as if you’re agreeing to what I’m saying right now and then I’ll make a show of it as if we’ve sealed a deal and I’ll go back and-“

“Or-“

A deliberate step was taken towards you and you found the air around you filled with the scent of mandarins and sweat all at once. Jeongguk stood a step away from you, dressed in those darn black shorts and loose white shirt. He seemed to pull it off though, and you swallowed at the sight of him leaning forward to you.

“Or,” he repeated again, breath tickling your cheek. “We actually follow through with this dare.”

Your eyes widened inches as you stared up silently at the college boy in front of you. “Excuse me?”

But you had heard him, wide and clear. You couldn’t believe it. Was he being serious right now?

“Think about it.” His voice was soft, persuasive in a silky way. “You go back there pretending you got me to agree and everything’s fine until tomorrow comes and they ask you how the fuck is. D’you think you’ll be able to make something up babe?”

You’re breath hitched as his nose made contact with your skin and you felt goosebumps erupt all over your arms. Your hands fisted into your pants.

“But just imagine.” He was practically purring into your ears. “How it would be like, me touching you and fucking you right. You’d go back home wishing all the other guys you’d fuck would be as half as good as me.”

It should be disgusting. The way he whispered it so easily in your ears. But all you felt was the feel of his lips on your skin and hands barely brushing at your hair. The goosebumps that trickled over your skin gave your feelings away: but Jeongguk still smirked, asking,

“So, doll? What’ll it be?”

You felt too dizzy. Intoxicated with Jeongguk’s power. One minute he was standing boyishly with his friends and the next minute he was boring over you like a sex god.

“I don’t even know you.” The rational part of your brain garbled the sentence out.

Jeongguk’s breathy laugh came. “So? How does that matter? All that matters is the fuck no?” His hands danced at your collarbones. “And the feeling of winning that dare - we can’t forget that.”

An inner turmoil was twisting inside of you: it was so easy to see the reason as to why he agreed to easily - the guy just wanted to get laid, clean and simple, yet the idea of you being just another round of sex to him did not set easily with you. But you heard the curious murmurs from behind, cooing in pity that the new girl had been straight to swim with the sharks. The pride inside of you won the match.

“Okay.” You murmured, leaning and taking a step back. “Okay then, Jeon boy.”

He seemed to grin that boyish grin again, the wind fluffing his hair around. “Meet me in my car after school, yeah?”

The walk back to the group was a shaky one, the post excitement and adrenaline of being so close to a boy still flushed inside your veins.

“Omg what happened!” The girls cried out but Jean shoved her way through and asked with anxious yet curious eyes, “So? How’d it go?”

Picking up your gym back and shuffling it onto you shoulder securely, you gave her a curt, “Good,” before walking off the field to the building.

Just maybe you’d be able to change

The problem with having a grand exit was that sometimes you’d up being unprepared. And that’s exactly what you were.

Meet me in my car, was Jeongguk’s words and it would’ve been an easy thing to spot, if only you knew what car he drove. And where he’d parked.

As you wrapped up your bag when the lecture finished, you sighed in frustration while running a hand through your hair. You couldn’t concentrate at all, the teacher’s words muted as you were absorbed in your world, pen tapping against the table as you had stared at the ground in another world.

Was he really serious? This wasn’t some sort of joke, right?

But as you finally jumped down the stairs and entered the hallway, it finally dawned up you as everyone scattered to leave for home that Jeon Jeongguk, the most known guy on the campus was waiting for you.

And you really wished you weren’t in this situation, because as cliche and sweet it sounded, you kept thinking of the reason why he was waiting and it sent shivers down your back.

This wasn’t what you were expecting when applying for college.

Stepping out of the building into the cool air, you made up your mind. You’d step back up from this deal - you weren’t ready, no matter how cute Jeongguk looked. It would all finish in one night and the next day you’d come to school and have to ignore him, and that wasn’t something you wanted. You knew that having a cute, romantic first time was something that was a rarity these days, but you wanted to have your first time with someone you knew - someone who cherished you. Call it childish, maybe even impractical, but if there was one thing that was clear about you, it was that you stuck to your beliefs.

Swinging your head around, you pursed your lips in thought as you surveyed the courtyard before making way to the parking lot.

You’re bound to find him, right? Like how hard would it be?

Not a few minutes had passed after the thought had crossed your mind did you hear a roaring sound, a loud, startling sound that disrupted the silence of the lot, and your eyes were dragged to the source of the noise.

It was a convertible, the door of the sleek black car swung up and sitting inside was -

You breathed out a sigh of relief.

It was not, in fact, Jeongguk but one of his friends; you recognized his grey hair from before. He had one leg out and a hand gripping the door as he smiled a boxy smile at his other friends that were surrounded around him.

Your feet hesitated as you heard the laughter and shuffling of feet from the numerous of boys, their presence so loud and prominent, and you took it in - the number of eyes that wavered to the group, some people staring in awe and others in indifference.

A couple of the boys - one tall one with purple hair and another wearing a tuxedo - parted from the group, waving their hands before moving to their own cars which you noticed with a pinch of salt were also sports cars.

You were starting to feel a it irritated, really with yourself, as to why you couldn’t push yourself to go up to the group and call out Jeongguk, but right at that moment, the brown haired boy threw his head back in a laugh and when he came down with his eyes open and shifting around, he made contact with you.

It would be a lie if you said that hadn’t made a jolt go up your spin.

Glancing away, you feigned indifference as you rocked back and forth on your heels, gripping your phone in front of you tightly. Your heart must’ve been beating a race, tripping and picking up, as you felt a heat creep up your neck and make way to your cheeks.

Movement on the side of your vision showed that Jeongguk was saying his goodbyes to his friends, laughing a bit, before turning and making way to you and dear god if your heart wasn’t pounding.

“Hey.” He gave a smile, something akin to a grin, and picked his hand up and you reacted instantly, sticking your own hand out.

Silence erupted between you two before he let out a chuckle, gripping your hand and raising an eyebrow at you. “Nervous?”

“Nope,” you lied with a hesitant smile, hoping he wouldn’t see through your facade, but the look in his eyes said otherwise.

He raised his other hand up to his hair to run through and you squeezed your eyes shut, berating yourself silently as the realization dawned upon you. He hadn’t held his hand out to you but to fix his hair-

Why wouldn’t the earth just swallow you up?

“It’s cool,” Jeongguk laughed, retracting his hand back and scratching at the back of his neck. “Uh- wanna leave?”

You nodded dumbly, not trusting yourself to say anything sensible right now, and that was frustrating you. You were never like this - the nervous, wrecked person who had their tongue twisted. At least not around a lot of boys.

But Jeongguk was different. There was something about him, you noticed as you walked alongside with him, taking his bent head and the way his fine legs looked really good in those jeans -

“Look out.”

You caught yourself just in time, staring wide eyed at the car that you were about to run into, and you grumbled to yourself, half in embarrassment, as you rounded around the car and followed him, “Who even parks their car like that?”

Jeongguk just smiled, and a part of you wished he would say something stupid so you could find something to hate about him, but the way he was softly smiling wasn’t helping at all.

“Ah, here we go.”

“Oh.” You couldn’t help the tiny gasp that left your mouth.

“You coming?” Jeongguk was beeping the car open, and you really wondered if he knew what a jewel he had in his hands right now.

You nodded and trailed your hands along the head of the car, blinking in awe as you opened the door slowly and heaved yourself up, into the gigantic G-Wagon, softly closing the door and taking in the interior with wide eyes.

“Do you like the car?” Jeongguk said with a slight humour in his voice, hand twisting the keys before a low purr sounded the lot, and while the other cars had roared, like lions, this car purred low like a leopard and you couldn’t help but compare that comparison to Jeongguk as you stared at him.

The drive was painfully awkward and you couldn’t keep track with how many times you caught yourself trailing your eyes back to Jeongguk’s profile, promptly snapping your head to face forwards whenever he shifted in his seat.

When he reached forward to turn the music on, you relaxed ever so slightly, sinking back into the seat and humming as you tapped your fingers to the beat.

“So,” he started, making you jump slightly, before carrying on with a smile, “Wanna tell me something about yourself?”

You pursed your lips in a show but thought to yourself, Is this normal? Does he ask all the girls he fucks to chat about their hobbies?

You winced at yourself at the crass thought, but answered, “Well you know my name already - wait you do right?”

The embarrassed look Jeongguk tried to hide explained it all; his cheeks went red and he pressed his lips together with a shrug. “I was too overcome with your beauty to remember what you said-”

“Save it.” You laughed, reaching up to cup your cheek and glance out the window with a smile. “It’s Y/N. Whatta bout you?”

The minute the words left your mouth, you couldn’t help the cry of embarrassment that left your mouth as you covered your face. Jeongguk’s loud infectious laughter filled the car and you felt a bare of a smile against your fingers.

“You’re that nervous?” Jeongguk laughed, the car coming to a stop at a red light and you glanced up to stare ahead with a slight pout. “No I am not.”

Light fingers touched at your chin and turned you to face Jeongguk and your breath tripped and you blinked up wide at him, feeling the way your cheeks were heating up.

He had leaned over the seat, the seat-belt digging warningly into his chest, eyes dark and lidded as he tilted his head to gaze at you, breath smelling oddly of mint.

“I think you should be.” He whispered hotly, lashes flicking against his skin as he dipped down to nudge at your nose. Your breath hitched and your hand flew up to his shoulder, ready to push him away, but his nose jerked away, nosing down to trace a path down past your cheeks to your collarbones, and shakily, you felt him place a light kiss, a bare brush of lips really, to there, and you felt yourself quiver, fist clenching atop his shoulder.

“You’re shaking,” he murmured, leaning closer to share the heat that was radiating off of him, his hand dropping from your chin to dance at the edge of your face, tickling at the apple swell of your cheeks teasingly. “What were you saying before about not being nervous?”

You blinked up at the roof of the car, mumbling back out, “I’m not, I’m just slightly new to all of these things.” A poor attempt of a front, and Jeongguk saw right through you.

Jeongguk let out a light chuckle, tipping his chin up to gaze up at you, the proximity between you so close you saw the way the browns in his eyes blended into honey gold and the slight upturned part of his top lip that looked too shiny for a boy.

“There’s a lot I have to teach you then,” he grinned out, and suddenly the car was jerking forward, his foot placed firmly on the ground and sending the car in motion, pulling away from you just as fast and leaving you cold.

When you both arrived, it was to a apartment building and you followed Jeongguk up the stairs and towards the elevators.

A flare of panic of being too close with Jeongguk again rose up in your chest and you blurted out, “Why don’t we take the stairs?”

Jeongguk looked back at you with an unreadable face, before shrugging and walking beside you up the stairs.

You kept chanting in your head You’re so dumb, You’re so dumb god god why-

And by the time you had repeated that thirty two times, you had stopped behind Jeongguk who was busying himself open a door and pushing it open.

The apartment was nice, surprisingly not as posh as you thought, and you felt a slight tug in your heart as you saw an opened pizza box.

“Sorry for the mess.” Jeongguk said unapologetically, tossing his coat to the side and striding to the kitchen. “My apartment is under renovation right now, so I’m borrowing my friend’s flat for a while.”

Scratch the previous thought.

You had no idea as to how to reply to that, so you nodded and let out a “ah” before moving to the hanging frames on the wall and you noticed with a jerk that the grey haired boy in most of the photos, smiling with his family and his friends.

“Want a drink?”

Turning around, you took in Jeongguk standing behind the ledge that divided the kicthen from the living room, holding up a can of soda.

“I’ll take some water,” you smiled, and it dropped slightly at the way Jeongguk rose his eyebrows slightly judgingly.

“Here you go Miss,” Jeongguk passed you a bottle of water before coming to stop infront of you.

You glanced at him before focusing on drinking the water, midway the bottle when he said,

“So you wanna get fucked here or…?”

Choking, you spluttered out some drops of water before bringing your arm up to dab at your mouth before stuttering out, “What?”

“Look love,” Jeongguk rolled up his sleeves slowly, the dark blue color complimenting his smooth skin, his eyes closed as if he was in pain saying it, “This was great and all but I’ve got a lot of work to do so if we can hurry this up - “

The promise you had made to yourself popped up in your brain and you zoomed to your feet, speeding into your explanation, “That’s okay we can do this another time really, it’s not that important-”

“Whoa whoa .” Jeongguk raised both eyebrows, hands drifting to stay on his hips. “You’re bailing out on me here?”

“Well it’s more like I’m bailing on myself,” you mumbled to yourself, ducking your head and poking your sock covered toes at the carpet.

Jeongguk let out a bare scoff, a bit surprised and maybe a bit offended, and proceeded to cross his arms with a sharp gaze. “Well can I ask why?”

You glanced up at him, slightly intimidated, and played at your fingertips, feeling your hands start to sweat up and you glanced around.

“Look, don’t take it personally, it’s nothing against you, I mean you must be a great guy but I’m just-” you broke off, ducking away from his gaze. “I’m kinda scared. And I’m not really looking for a one-night stand, you get me?”

Looking up with hopeful eyes, you took in Jeongguk’s calculating eyes, grazing up and down you, before he took one step forward.

“If you don’t want it to stop, we can go another path,” Jeongguk murmured, reaching his hand out to tip your chin up and tug you closer. Your feet stumbled underneath you put you caught yourself, staring up into his wide brown eyes in alarm. “Who’s to say we have to stop seeing each other?”

Jeongguk trailed his other hand up your arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake, and you felt yourself grow weak, become putty against his hands. Your head was growing fuzzy, a haze clouding your mind as you stared up at Jeongguk, watching the brown hair flop over his forehead and down to his dangerous dark eyes.

“Do you understand love?”

You pulled yourself back slightly, clearing your throat and shaking your head, trying to rid the haze from your head.

“Look,” you tried again weakly, eyes fluttering at the way Jeongguk dipped his head and kissed your shoulder delicately, and though you wore many layers, you felt the searing heat that spread through your body from that one spot.

“I’ll be gentle.” He whispered softly, and the mood in the air shifted, his hands finding way to your hips, thumbs rubbing gentle circles into your skin, nuzzling into your neck, and you felt the heat from his mouth.

“Can I?” he asked, and you heard the slight want in his voice, laced oh so wondrously with heat.

Your tongue felt too heavy, and so you slid your hands up to his hair, sliding through the soft strands and tilting your head back farther, exposing the expanse of your throat.

Yes please

Jeongguk let out a noise, closing the distance and placing a hot open mouthed kiss to your throat, making your head roll back and mouth part, his nails digging into you, one hand sliding to your back to stabilize you, and you gasped out a tiny, “Oh.”

Jeongguk was moving before you knew it, grabbing a hold of your hand before striding to his room, and you followed him, heart in your throat and you had few seconds to view the nice room before you were pressed up to a wall, Jeongguk’s face all you could see as he neared your lips.

“Can I take it?” He whispered, eyes trained on your lips. “Your first kiss?”

Your breath caught slightly when he glanced up, and the need was apparent, so damn apparent, you felt slightly dizzy at the thought.

“Yes,” you found yourself nodding and just like that, he had swooped down to capture your lips in his, pulling you along with him, wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you close.

Soft, luscious lips kissed you, pressed you into the wall, hands roaming up and down your body, mapping it out for Jeongguk to remember, long strong fingers rubbing soothing patterns as he tilted his head, teasingly licking at your lips with his tongue before moving.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, trying to remain calm as you felt him tilt his head and kiss you again, the world spinning as he pressed your further into the wall. All your senses were heightened, acute of the way his hands clutched your shirt in his fists and the way he smiled whenever you gasped when your lips parted.

When he pulled back, you blinked up at him, breathless, literally, your vision fuzzy and nerves on edge, heart pounding a million beats a second.

“Was I okay?” he teased, a raise of eyebrow.

You couldn’t find the words to respond, jaw slack, and chose instead to answer by looping your fingers into the hoops of his jeans and tugging him back for another kiss, giggling slightly when he mumbled an ‘okay then’.

This doesn’t feel like a quick fuck and go. That was all you could think of as you kissed, wrapping your arms around him again and going on your tip toes to gain more leverage, tipping your head back when the kiss got too intense and let out a slight groan when Jeongguk sucked at your skin.

“Oh my god I’m sorry,” you rushed to apologize but you stopped when Jeongguk picked one hand to brace next to your head, head remaining ducked as he spoke:

“Can I - god, Y/N, can I fuck you?”

You felt yourself go up another level of dizziness at his words, blinking quickly to ground yourself and you nodded, fisting at Jeongguk’s shoulder, finding yourself whisper, “Please.”

The world spun with colors as Jeongguk spun both of you around, still clutched to each other, and made way to the bed, dropping you and kneeling a top of you.

He made way to unbutton his shirt but he glanced down at you, debating, before he took your hand and said, “C’mere.”

You were tugged up onto your feet by the boy, spun around to face him so he tilted his chin to glance up at you. Hand still clasped in his, he placed your fingers to his top buttons and said, “Go ahead.”

You swallowed, not daring to look up to his eyes, working your fingers to motion as you ever so slowly popped the buttons open, cursing slightly when your grip slipped, and Jeongguk smirked. “Easy there.”

You gave him a light glare which he tilted his head at with a grin, before you finally unbuttoned all the buttons, his shirt hanging open and you wrenched your eyes up and away from his very toned stomach, retracting your hands. “Now?”

“This isn’t a lab experiment babe.” Jeongguk laughed, leaning his hands back. “Just do what you feel is right.”

Sighing, you closed your eyes, reaching somewhere in you to steel yourself, before opening your eyes and reaching back out, but this time to trace at Jeongguk’s neck, dipping your finger into the crevice of his collarbones, and dragging a hesitant line down his sternum, eyes flicking up to gauge his reaction.

His head was tilted to the side, eyes half shut, but murmured, “Go on.”

You pushed the boundary and placed your palm flat against his stomach, feeling his abs contract and your breaths stuttered. Teeth sinking into your bottom lip, you pulled your hand back to let only your fingertips dance down down down till they reached the seemingly expensive and heavy buckle that held Jeongguk’s lower body in secret.

In a rush of confidence, you dropped your hand further till you traced at the bulge that strained painfully against his jeans, and you heard the sharp intake from above you. Your eyes slowly dragged up to Jeongguk’s, who gazed at you for a bated breath before launching forward and tugging you into a kiss, laying himself back on the bed and pulling you atop him.

You gasped as his hands found way to the bottom of your ass, and your head tilted back to let out a high pitch noise when he craned his neck up to suck harshly, dropping your head meekly to hide yourself.

“C’mon babe,” Jeongguk encouraged, licking a long stripe up your neck and murmured in you ear, “Whatever you’ve dreamed of doing, do it right now.”

You let out a sound you never thought you could make, the whole scenario too much for you, and you gripped at the sheets.

“Jeongguk,” you gasped, trying to catch his attention. “K-Kiss-”

He let out a bare smile before leaning up and capturing your lips, sealing your lips together and slowly tilting his head to deepen the kiss, and you fell into him, knees digging onto the sides of his hips.

Something hot was uncurling inside of you, stirring heat inside of you and making you whine, breaking the kiss to sit up slightly.

Jeongguk glanced up in confusion, and you rushed to explain with frustration, hands coming up to push the hair that fell in front of your forehead back,. “I -I feel hot and it hurts-”

You were rolled around so you were underneath Jeongguk and he growled out, “You’re gonna fucking kill me,” before capturing your lips in another kiss, hands digging in your hips and tugging you up to meet the roll of hips that sent you crying out, head falling back as you gasped out, “Jeongguk oh my god-”

“I’ll take care of you,” Jeongguk hushed, making you nod quickly, before reaching down to play with your shirt. “Can I?”

You hesitated, your insecurities and anxiety climbing up quickly and you moved to sit up when Jeongguk noticed the alarm in your eyes, calming you down with a hand on your hip. “It’s okay, we don’t have to do it.”

You glanced away, embarrassed, feeling yourself grow hot all over, and oddly, you felt tears sprout at the edges of your eyes.

“Hey hey,” Jeongguk leaned down, thumbing at the tears. “I’m sorry was I going too fast? Do you want to stop?”

“No! No it’s just.” you brushed at your tears and stared at Jeongguk’s ear, trying to look at anywhere but his eyes and his painfully bare body. This was the last thing you needed. Were you really crying over not being able to think straight? “I don’t know what I’m doing and it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s alright.” Jeongguk smirked, though his expression held no mockery - only patience. “I’ll teach you. We have a lot of time. Okay? So don’t worry.”

His words oddly made you feel calmer and you let out a tiny nod, fingertips idly dancing over his body to shake your thoughts away and he let out a tiny laugh, tilting his head back and commenting in a whisper, “Your fingers seem to be knowing what they’re doing.”

You flushed at the comment, flicking your eyes up to see his eyes shut, before leaning forward and kissing at his beautifully tanned neck, noting the way he flinched but did not move you away, instead humming and letting you kiss up his neck and down before tentatively licking over a point where he groaned.

“God baby,” he dropped his head to your shoulder, “Please let me touch you.”

You whispered out, “Okay,” and he set in motion, kissing from your lips to your shoulder and down your shirt to the hem of your jeans, flicking his lashes up to gaze up to your eyes and push a tiny peep of your shirt to kiss at the skin there.

You gasped, head tilting back and encouraging him, “It’s okay, go on.”

You felt your nerves catch up to you, and though you gave him the go ahead sign, you threw your arms over your eyes and prepared yourself.

He huffed out a tiny laugh before slowly unbuttoning, placing a kiss once more there before tugging your jeans down your legs, watching in awe as goosebumps broke up, letting his hands slid up your legs to massage into your thighs.

Suddenly you jerked up, grabbing at his hands and saying, “Actually what if I’m not good enough, I think we should stop - “

“Hey.” Jeongguk hushed you, blinking up at you with something hard in his eyes. “Say the word and we’ll stop but don’t you ever say you’re not good enough.”

You gulped at his words, cowering slightly at his firm gaze, somehow ending up nodding and leaning back down. I’ll take care of you, were his words, and you blinked up at the ceiling, telling yourself to trust his words.

Jeongguk, after making sure you were okay, turned his attention back to your body, hands massaging at your skin and leaning down to press kisses here and there.

When his kisses trailed up to the edge of your underwear, he whispered, “I can smell you fuck,” and pressed a hot open mouthed kiss to your mound, making you keen and drop your head back, hands tugging at the sheets.

His fingers were on your hips, toying with the straps of your underwear, before drifting down and pulling it away from your lips, breathing out a light, “holy fuck,” and before you could even think of being shy he dove down, licking a long stripe up and nuzzling deep into you, tongue and teeth scraping and licking at your lips.

“Oh my god-” you choked out, tilting your head to the side as you tried to keep your noises low.

Jeongguk was making down right filthy sounds, licking at your lips and sucking hard, his hands coming up to tug at your thighs away, eyes shut as he feasted like a deprived a man, hands slipping to circle your thighs and hold them in place.

“Oh my god Jeongguk,” you whispered, your voice cracking and you made a bare eye contact with him, his eyes boring into you from below, before you tilted your head to the side, the back of your hand pressing into your mouth as your hips twitched.

“Gonna have to stretch you out baby,” he murmured as he tilted his head to the side, catching the skin in between his teeth to suck bruises on your skin. His tongue lapped at the stinging area, thumbs rubbing soothingly into your skin.“That okay with you?”

“Y-Yes,” you stuttered out, mind reeling at his words, propped up on your elbows and fingers fisted into the sheets. Jeongguk gave you a tiny smirk, eyes flicking up to you with a patch of your skin in between his teeth before he released you and slid into a comfortable position.

Laying flat on his stomach, Jeongguk pressed at your thighs, pushing dangerously them apart, letting his lashes flutter against your skin as he laid his head onto your thigh, watching sideways as he brought a finger up to trace your mound.

An embarrassed whine climbed up your throat at the intensity in his eyes, thighs tensing and Jeongguk caught the movement, laying still but flicking his eyes up to gaze at you with mirth. You parted your lips with narrowed eyes to tell him to quick teasing but -

Jeongguk, with an agonizingly slow pace and fixed gaze, slipped a single finger into you, catching his bottom lip in between his teeth as he watched you swallow up his digit, your walls so fucking tight.

“J-Jeongg-guk-” you gasped, hips jerking as you sunk your teeth into your lips, eyes desperate as you watched Jeongguk hushed you with a turn of his head to kiss at your thigh before pulling his hand back and sinking back into you.

“Oh,” you let a pleased hum and fell back onto the bed, hands coming up to cover your face as you felt the boy’s pace slowly, yet steadily, pick up, the burn against your walls so delicious and slow you felt yourself loose yourself at the ends.

You tried to keep it in, you really did, but the way Jeongguk had propped his chin onto your hip bone to gaze at you with a hot gaze as his arms flexed with how fast he had started to thrust into you made you squirm, whine out breathy sighs of his name up into the air, back arching slightly every moment or so before sinking back into the sheets when his other hand smoothed of the expanse of your skin, warm and heavy before he cupped your hip and pressing down firmly.

You picked up your head to give him a questioning glance before he braced his arm against your hip, pinning you down firmly, before resuming his attack on your lips, hand thrusting into you too fast for you to keep up.

“Jeongguk! P-Please oh,” you twisted your body to the side, your mind short circuiting as the pleasure built, alarmingly fast, that coil inside your gust twisting precariously tighter with each second he crooked his fingers into you.

Jeongguk’s brows came close together as he turned his gaze down to your mound, leaning down to lick at his thumb, inhaling the smell of your sex and groaning, before rubbing hard circles onto your clit with his slicked thumb, letting out a grunt when you choked out a breathy, “Oh my god.”

You two made eye contact when Jeongguk leaned back down, tongue hanging out to lick up at your clit, his nose brushing against that sensitive bundle on your mound and your legs jerked, hastily trying to press shut as your cheeks burned in shame.

But Jeongguk’s hands were there, strong and unmoving as he pinned your legs apart, one eyebrow cocking up at you with his lips still firmly lapping at your juices, as if to say wanna try that again?

You let out an apologetic whine, your face feeling hot and sticky as you brought your hand up to run a hand through your hair, one finger ending up in your mouth as you watched him suck at you ruthlessly, making you squirm in agony.

The coil was getting tight, winding you up and making you ache for your release, and you had absolutely no idea how to ask for it, desperation clouding your mind as your hips danced off the sheets, one hand coming down to grip his hair.

“Jeongguk,” you rasped, eyes catching his as he leaned back slightly to bring his hands closer to your mound and spread at the skin there so he could have a better access to your pussy, leaning back in swiftly to suck at your lips, eyes wide and unbashed as he stared up at you.

“Oh god Jeongguk you’re gonna kill me,” you breathed out in one breath, dropping back onto your back. At a particular hard suck, you cried out, a high pitched, “Please!” escaping your lips and loud enough for Jeongguk to move away with a low growl.

Pressing up onto his knees, he watched as your face fell and knees pulled close to hide yourself, hands splayed out next to your head, but Jeongguk simply pried at your knees, eyes dark and promising as he grunted out, “Fuck do you have any idea how good you sound?” You keened back in response.

“God, I’m gonna fuck you so good,” he vowed, leaning over you as he pushed at his jeans down. “Make you scream.”

You tried to ignore the way your body burned alight at the statement, gulping and helping him push the jeans down and kissing him back as he dipped down, hands grabbing at your wrists, tugging them to place around his back.

“Dig in my back if it hurts too much, okay?” he whispered against your lips, one hand dropping to push his boxers down.

You nodded, keeping eye contact with him as he flung his boxers somewhere, breath hitching as you felt something line up at your entrance, a slight whimper escaping you, and Jeongguk instantly froze, eyes flying to you.

“Hey, hey. You’re gonna be fine. We can still back out now, okay? Just give me the word love.”

At your hesitant gaze, he carried on. “Don’t think about me. Just about yourself, okay?”

You blinked up at him, lips slightly trembling, before you steeled yourself. It was okay, right? Jeongguk was experienced, and judging my how slow he went, he knew how anxious you were. If your tapped out, he’d stop instantly, right?

Looping your arms around Jeongguk’s neck, you cheekily whispered, “Say please first.”

Jeongguk stared at you, silent for a split second, before his eyes started to sparkle and he let out a laugh. “You’re really making it hard for me to maintain a bad boy image, you know that?”

You giggled, watching breathlessly as Jeongguk’s face straightened into a serious one and he dipped down, nosing at your cheek before grinning, “Will you let me fuck you, please, Y/N?”

You thought you’d laugh when he’d say it, but the way his body pressed into you and his hands held you made you arch your back and mumble, “Yes, yes, yes.”

Jeongguk aligned himself at your entrance and your toes slightly curled, but Jeongguk’s fingers curled around your chin and pulled you in for a kiss, slow and deep and filled with something you couldn’t quite place, before he slipped in.

The pain was obvious, something that pierced so deep that made you pull away from Jeongguk’s lips and blink up at the ceiling, tears swimming at the edges of your eyes.

“Shh,” Jeongguk hushed, holding his hips square against yours, bowing down and pressing his forehead to the side of your head, kissing at the spot above your ear. “You’re so strong,” he whispered, his voice straining, jaw clenched as his thumb came to wipe at your tears.

“Hurts,” you whimpered, tilting to look at Jeongguk, and he kissed you, keeping your lips pressed together as he whispered, “It’ll become better okay love? Can I move?”

You nodded, hands clutching his bare shoulders, wincing as he pulled out before slipping back in, and though it felt weird, and stung a bit, you started to feel the thrum of pleasure that erupted inside of your body, and you arched up slightly, tossing your head to the side and groaning out, “Jeongguk yes-”

“There we go,” Jeongguk hummed leaning back and pulling back before slamming hard into you and you whined, pleasure burning your insides and making something deep in the pit of your stomach coil tightly.

“J-Jeongguk yes yes please,” you gasped, hands falling from his neck to his chest, bouncing with every thrust of his, your body too hot underneath the layers of clothes.

“Does it feel good baby?” Jeongguk leaned over you, rolling his hips deep into you. “You with me?”

“Jeongguk,” you gasped, glaring up at him playfully, “Stop talking and use those hips more.”

A slight of a smile erupted on his face before he pulled back and thrusted deeply inside, purring at the way you cried out.

“You gonna cum for me baby?” he asked at the way your face pinched. “Gonna come so quickly?”

Your cheeks bursted into flames and you tilted your head to the side, keening at the way he hit that one spot, the coil tightening by every second.

“Jeongguk I think I ‘m-”

“Go on baby,” Jeongguk hummed into your ear, voice thick with lust, hips picking up in pace as he hiked your legs around his waist. “Come for me love.”

You cried out, hand in his hair and other covering your mouth as the pace picked up and you came, back arching and a high pitched cry erupting out of your mouth.

“Oh, oh,” you kept chanting as you came down from your high, arms looped around Jeongguk and cheek pressed to his shoulder. A shiver went through you as you felt his hands dig into your hips and he slowed to a stop, mumbling out a tight, “You okay?”

Nodding, you caught your breathe before asking, “Aren’t you gonna…?”

“It’s fine,” he moved to pull out but you tightened your grip on his waist, pressing your forehead to his neck. “Go on.”

He hesitated for a second before making sure with a “Really?” before slipping his hips back and slamming into you, and every thrust sent shivers into you, making you whimper into his ear, all while he murmured, “That’s it, good girl.”

You expected the time after sex to be awkward, but you found it to be comfortable.

Jeongguk had cleaned you up, claiming that you’d regret it in the morning if you didn’t, and pulled the covers over you, tossing a shirt and boxers to you to change into.

It required no extensive knowledge that he expected you to stay the night, and you found yourself following, slipping on the clothes and crawling under the covers.

When Jeongguk reappeared a half hour later, he was dressed in just his boxers, hair messed up in a glorified way that screamed sex-god.

He gave you a smile, a tiny one, before he slipped into bed, picking his head up to mumble out a “Goodnight” before leaning forward and clicking the light off to send the room into pitch black darkness.

#phew that was a ride #there will be a part 2!!!#jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #bts #jeongguk #yoongi #hoseok #namjoon #taehyung #jimin #bts smut #bts fanfic #bts fic #smut #fic series

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jerkbitchidjitassbutt · 6 years ago

Text

Moments (Part 14-Fin)

Characters: Jensen x Reader; Jared Padalecki; SPN Cast members

Anon Request: Hello, I was wondering if i could request a Jensen x Fan Reader fic were they meet at a con. There they keep running into each other. Thank You.

Summary: Attending a convention has always been a dream - and that dream is now a reality. Little did you know a clumsy run-in would lead to meeting one of your favorite actors. Who knows what the weekend will hold.

A/n: As always, thanks to my sweet beta, @winchester-writes. Masterlist is attached in a reblog if you’d like to catch up! W/C: 1900. Warnings: none? Jensen and Jared being adorable. Maybe a smidge of embarrassment? Alllll the fluff. Literally, like lethal fluff. Unrealistic level fluff.

I consider this an AU, as Jensen is single in this fic. This is completely a work of fiction, and I wouldn’t want his reality to be any different, this is purely for entertainment.

“This is what I want. This is the only thing I've ever wanted. Everything else—every single second of every single day that has come before this very moment, this kiss—has meant nothing.” ― Lauren Oliver, Delirium

“Its… its about a picture.”

It wasn’t that the question was entirely a surprise. You had made it about 30 minutes into the J2 panel before someone brought it up. You knew people would be skeptical and want to dig, but a part of you was still shocked when young Caroline proposed the question.

Your feet halted in place, cementing you in the middle of the aisle in a crowded ballroom. Your back was turned to the stage as she continued with trepidation in her voice, “I don't want to pry…”

Jensen held his hands in a shrug with a large smile on his face, “Obviously.” He joked. The crowd laughed, but he settled them quickly by probing her further, “No, its okay. Please continue.”

The microphone shook slightly in her hands as she held it up to speak, “A picture was on social media this morning of you.”

“What picture? Is it of me?” Jared asked.

“She just said it was of me.” Jensen retorted, causing his friend to snort and back away slightly and the audience to giggle. “What picture is it?”

“This one!” Someone yelled from the first row, their arm extended with a phone screen lit. Both men leapt off of their chairs and ventured toward the end of the stage, taking the phone and peering at the evidence.

You were still standing beside your assigned row toward the back of the room, but hadn’t ventured back to your seat. You were enthralled in the exchange that was happening on stage.

Jensen held the cell phone closer to his face and then further away, like someone who needed their glasses but didn’t have them.

“Is that even me?” he questioned, feigning innocence. When those in front of him roared, “Yes!”, he retreated, palms facing the crowd in surrender and shock.

He handed the phone back to its owner and went back to his seat, Jared following close behind him. “Well, we’ve established its me.” He mocked. “So, Caroline, what is your question, then?” he beckoned.

“My question is… is there a relationship update that we need?” she giggled.

Y/f/n’s eyes darted between you and Jensen, noting that his face turned a particular shade of red and his smile widened. She contemplated leaping out of her seat and rushing to your side, to urge you to sit down or to leave the room, but she elected to leave you be.

You simply stood, waiting to hear his answer with your hands covering your mouth. Your brain was screaming for you to sit down or retreat, something, but your body didn’t listen.

Jensen dropped his head as Jared held a fist under his chin, beckoning towards his co-star and waiting for an answer. Jensen turned to look at him and open palm pushed his face away with an even larger grin.

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” he spoke into the mic, “there… there is someone.”

You jumped slightly when the crowd cheered wildly and a few people stood to clap. It surprised you. It was almost as though you were expecting a different reaction.

When the applause dulled, someone yelled, “Who is she?” Another blurted, “Tell us about her!”

“Okay, okay!” he yelled in a faux grumpy façade. “You really wanna know?” he teased.

A resounding scream told him his answer.

He hesitated, looking toward his feet and rubbing the back of his neck shyly.

“I actually just met her a few days ago… but I’ll be honest with you guys.” Jensen paused and veered his sight toward the crowd. It was still difficult to see in the overhead lights, and this wasn’t as private as he would’ve hoped your discussion would be, but he wanted to make it known to you and whomever would listen. “I’m already smitten with this girl.”

Everyone in the room ‘awed’ as the air left your lungs.

He was still staring in your direction as he spoke slowly and deliberately, timing each phrase perfectly, “She’s amazing. She’s smart and funny. The few days that I’ve spent with her have been magic. I’m serious, you guys. I’ve… uh… I’ve never been one of those people who totally believes in fairytales or anything, but I’m starting to believe a little bit more. She looks at me like no one else ever has; like I’m the only person in the room, no matter how many people are there. And right now,” he took a deep breath, thinking heavily before allowing the words to flow from his lips, “she’s the only one in this room to me.”

An audible gasp left just about everyone sitting in their chairs, heads turning furiously from side to side to gaze over the crowd. A hush of whispers—and not so much whispers—of people questioning, “she’s here? Where?”

“To clarify, yes. She is here.” Jensen assured, nodding and wiggling in his seat while he adjusted his shirt. “We met here, at the hotel… But…” he held up a hand to steady the crowd, many of whom were still engaged in hushed conversations of spectacle, “we’re not entirely ‘public’ yet.” He said using Jared’s overly exaggerated air quotes around the ‘public’ part, looking to his friend to make it known that he was intending it as a well-meaning jab to poke fun.

“Let me tell you guys something; this dude’s got it bad!” Jared drawled, finally speaking into the microphone. “But listen guys, I’m all for it. I’ve met her; most of the cast has met her. She’s really awesome… You know what? Speaking of which, have you actually asked her out yet?” he boomed, speaking with enunciation and articulating the ‘t’ in yet with a cheeky smirk on his lips.

Jensen eyed his friend and turned a different shade of pink, one of both embarrassment and giddiness, shushing him loudly.

“Have you?” Caroline asked boldly, almost forgotten on the side of the stage.

“Who’s side are you on, Caroline?!” Jensen yelled accusingly. The audience laughed again, always pleased with a bit of grumpy!Jensen. Caroline, whose nerves had seemingly subsided, appeared to shrug her shoulders as she waited for him to answer. “Officially? Not exactly.” The audience roared and questioned why. “It's complicated you guys.” He sighed, “My whole interest is protecting her. I’d waltz right up to her now and declare it to the world if I knew she was ready, but until she…” he paused, eyeing you directly for a short moment, “tells me so, I will do everything in my power to make sure she’s comfortable.”

People were still looking around the room, searching for whoever this mystery woman could be. Others were holding their hands over their chest, clearly swooning over his confession, but no one could swoon harder than you in that moment. He was right. You wanted to tell everyone within a 10-mile radius and beyond that you were falling hard for the man on stage.

You weren’t sure if he could see you, but you gave him a nod, signifying that you were ready for whatever he was.

Jensen’s face lit up with a beaming smile, not leaving yours for a moment of bliss.

Finally, Jensen spoke into the mic, a slight shake in his voice at first, “Alright. Well, guys… wudya think? Should I ask her?”

“YES!” everyone shouted.

“Are you sure?” he questioned.

“YES!”

“Positive?”

Jared screamed into his microphone, “Yes!”, causing the speakers to squeal and nearly busting the eardrums of everyone present.

Jensen stepped off of his chair with rosy cheeks and made his way down the ramp on the side of the stage. Cell phones popped up from every angle as he strolled through the room with the microphone in his hand. He walked with determination, but a nervousness could be seen in his adorably shy demeanor.

The overhead lights came on as he passed the front of the stage and turned down the row where you stood, still motionless with teary eyes. He lifted his eyes from the burgundy and gold carpet as soon as his feet carried him around the bend of chairs in the first row. When he met your eyes, a new sense of determination and certainty seemed to wash over him and he flipped the microphone in his hand as his pace quickened.

You couldn’t help but twist your hands in anticipation. If it wasn’t obvious that you were the mystery woman before, it began to click in people’s minds as they looked between you and the actor who was purposefully striding towards you.

In that moment, nothing else was in focus. All that was visible was him, his green eyes shining and his plump lips sealed together in a smile.

Jensen considered slowing his step. He contemplated making some sort of speech when he planted himself in front of you. In the ten seconds it took for him to reach you, a million different scenarios passed through his mind as to how he could make this moment perfect for you, but only one seemed to do his desire justice. He marched toward you, row by row passing and the roar of the crowd dulled to a whir in his ears.

When he finally reached you, he simply circled his arms around your waist and pulled you to him, capturing your lips as the crowd boomed with applause. You locked your wrists around his neck and balanced on your toes to reach his mouth immediately. Hearing nothing but your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, everything around you became hazy.

Jensen reached toward your hair and cradled your head in his hand, planting kiss after kiss to your lips until he slowly retreated.

Taking your hand, he held the microphone to his lips and said, “Y/n. I think its only appropriate that I ask you—in front of the SPN family—“ he gestured across the room, making them all roar in excitement, “officially, to be my girlfriend. I know its quick, and the road ahead is still a little unknown, but I know I’d regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't take this chance with you.” he dropped the microphone to his side, so that only you and those around you could hear the rest, “What do you say, sweetheart? Want to give this a try?”

The two of you didn’t know everything about one another yet. You didn’t know everything about each other’s childhoods, but you knew enough of the man in front of you. From your conversations, you knew the important things. You knew birthdays and favorite songs. You knew hopes and dreams. You knew he was sensitive, sweet, and caring above all else. So, you already knew what your answer would be.

Nodding eagerly, you replied, “Yes.”

Jensen hugged you to him, nuzzling himself into the crook of your neck, before taking your hand and waltzing you to the stage. He introduced you to the crowd as his ‘newly appointed’ girlfriend, and then sent you backstage where the rest of the cast met you with open arms.

“I’m sending her back there so you guys don't stampede her after we’re done.” Everyone laughed as he positioned himself on his chair next to Jared, a bright, glowing grin present on his lips. “Alrighty then… since that’s out of the way…” he chuckled, adjusting the microphone in his hands, “should we move on? Next question!”

Y/f/n had been standing from her chair, along with a good portion of the room, taking video of the whole interaction. In that instance, she knew she had never been more proud of you. Taking a chance, leaping towards your own happiness—it was what she had always hoped for you. She turned the camera to herself and spoke with teary eyes and sniffles, “best. weekend… ever.”

Fin.

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rachelthompsonauthor · 5 years ago

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Thrilled to have my good friend and #SexAbuseChat co-host, Judith Staff, here today to discuss boundaries. Excellent tips here, my friends.

An online friend contacted me recently, her therapist was going on vacation and she would not have a session for an extended period, a number of weeks. She was very upset about this and in need of reassurance. I reminded her that I and a few others she chats with online, would be around as support. Her reply was “Yes, though…I don’t want to seem a burden.”

For some reason, I didn’t feel either pressured to help, nor weighed down by her distress, and felt able to provide the extra bit of support she needed. This raised my curiosity. I care and, having been in the same situation, I could completely empathize. So why did I not feel burdened? Was it a question of capacity at that time? Or was it something else?

*********

Whose Burden Is It?

“I don’t want to burden you….”

“I hate to be a burden, but….”

How many times have you heard this? As a survivor of abuse, how many times have you said it? Or even just thought it? Have you ever considered whether it is even possible to burden someone else? Is it just assumed that what we feel burdened by will burden others if we tell them about it?

Some people still have this antiquated view that we are meant to weather life with strength and resilience, overcoming whatever comes our way, when in actuality, we now know that asking for help when we need emotional support is actually the strongest thing we can do. It takes much courage to share our inner pain and strife with another, and in doing so, could begin to heal a hurt part of us. Even so, there is still a notion that people are “burdening” others with their woes when those others already have their own lives/families/troubles to worry about.

Let’s talk about burdening. When unpacking a word, even though I know what it means, I like to start with a dictionary definition (a hangover from a primary school education).

Burden – as a noun, it is defined as a difficult or heavy load. The verb form of the word “burden” is carrying this difficult or heavy load.

As for carrying it, traumatic experiences get inside our cells and can feel weighty to drag around. We may even feel shackled to them if they relate to our childhood and we have carried them over many years and decades. When we share our difficult or heavy emotional loads, we are not imposing a burden on the other person, we are looking for support.

By that same token, if they choose to support us, help us, they are not accepting a burden, they are simply caring, as those close to us hopefully would. As well, the burden is our interpretation of the issue. It may not weigh as heavy in their arms/heart.

The professional roles of therapists and counselors are directly related to helping us with what we feel burdened by in our lives. They are there to listen, give guidance and help us find ways to carry our burden more safely, or even find strategies to get rid of it. This is their paid job-role.

They also have (if good practice is valued) support in place in the form of supervision or counseling to cope with the emotional toll of secondary trauma or vicarious trauma, and ensure their boundaries, both emotional and professional, are firmly anchored providing a strong basis for their practice.

Also, carrying it in different ways can help. If we are carrying the burden and it feels super heavy, it could be the way we are holding it, and the other person may, in fact, have a better way of carrying the emotional weight which is more balanced and feels less cumbersome…. So, less burdensome.

Boundaries

One major area closely linked to this idea of burdening others is the concept of boundaries. Our boundaries, their boundaries and the boundaries of those we both interact with, personal/social/emotional/physical. According to the dictionary, boundaries are lines which define the limits of an area, or a dividing line.

A lack of boundaries or boundaries which are not securely in place can create a situation where a sharing their story can become a burden, or at least feel like one for the recipient when actually, it doesn’t need to be if they’ve put boundaries in place and maintain them responsibly. In relation to sharing our emotional and/or traumatic truths, let’s look at boundaries for a moment and the role they play in protecting us from added burdens.

My Boundaries

Carrying personal strife alone can feel isolating. It can cause at the very least, difficulty concentrating, feelings of preoccupation, sleeplessness and more. At the deeper end, it can cause depression, anxiety, and urges to self-harm or engage in harmful behaviors to cope with the ‘burden’, whatever it is that we feel weighed down by. Sharing with someone can help with this.

I say “can” because although the potential for it to be of benefit is huge, it depends on the context, the way we share, who we share with, and what happens after. This is where my/our boundaries play a role.

Choosing to share something we feel unsettled by or concerned about is a big decision. Once shared, it can’t be unshared. A friend once used the analogy of trying to get toothpaste back into the tube; it doesn’t go back in the way it came out. Because of this, it is very important that we give due consideration prior to sharing a personal story or piece of information.

Making a decision to share, especially if it pertains to a painful secret we have carried, such as a story of our abuse or neglect, can itself weigh heavy. Once we have decided to share, it may feel slightly lighter, which could be a good indication that we will benefit from sharing, if we choose the right person, place and time. This is an example of reviewing our boundaries, in relation to letting someone in on our secret or ‘burden.’

The next step is deciding who. Bear in mind that sometimes, depending on the size and gravity of the issue we share, it can alter the dynamic of the relationship in a number of ways.

Once, when I spent a summer hanging out with a teenage friend, I’d met through a summer job, she told me in confidence that she had secretly had an abortion. She shared this as she had been unable to share her secret with anybody prior to that day. Her family and indeed her school friends were Catholic.

She felt an enormous sense of shame at both becoming pregnant as a teenager, and also at choosing to have the pregnancy terminated. Her parents had prominent job roles and she felt pressured, particularly as an only child, to present herself as a “good girl” at all times.

I know now that is was a big deal for her to share that with me. She asked me not to tell anyone else. I sensed she was relieved at having shared it and comforted by my compassionate response. I did not judge her, merely felt sorry she had undergone such a scary experience alone and was living with the uneasiness of both what she had done and the fear that she might be found out and what people would think or say if they knew.

Although this friend had undergone a traumatic time, finding herself pregnant and then seeking a way to terminate the pregnancy without her parents knowing, she had kept her boundaries safe and chose to share the story with me only when she felt safe enough in our relationship to do so. By allowing herself to share, it lifted some of the immense weight she was carrying with the secret and gave her some reassurance that she did what she thought was best at the time.

Their Boundaries

It is up to us to set our own boundaries because only we know where they feel comfortable and only we have the power to guard them. In the same vein, it is up to everyone else to set and maintain theirs. This is why we can never truly “burden” someone. It becomes a burden to them, or for them, when their own boundaries are either misplaced, absent or not being protected adequately.

If our friends and close ones have their boundaries secure, they are not at risk of feeling burdened by anything we or others share with them. They may feel affected and have an emotional response, but that is different from feeling burdened, or obligated to carry our pain for/with us.

If someone in our close inner circle, whom we choose to share with, has not got their boundaries in place and guarded, then they will be at risk of feeling the responsibility of what we share, weighing on their heart. At this point, our hurt becomes a burden for them.

People who are known as empaths are particularly at risk for not having safe and secure boundaries. They care too much for others and cannot bear to see others in discomfort, which provokes them to try and carry others burdens for them. An impossibility, for obvious reasons. The world would be a much sadder place if not for empaths, however, they need support to keep their boundaries in place, so they don’t fall prey to carrying the weight of the world, or at least their close friends and family, on their shoulders.

Sometimes, those with unsafe boundaries can seem so kind and caring, but they are easily overwhelmed and for that reason can be unreliable confidants, purely for the reason they are often burned out themselves from all the caring they offer others.

Managing Triggers

So, once we have our boundaries clearly set and feel able to be there for those who may need our support and input with something that might be burdening them, we need to take a moment to think about triggers. Our triggers. What triggers us?

Thinking of what we find triggering can help us to be a little more prepared for going into situations and making sure we are in fact the best person to help. We cannot sidestep every trigger, but we can identify our common ones and make sure we manage them, steering clear of situations we may find emotionally intolerable.

I knew an acquaintance who seemed to be struggling. Despite myself and others trying to help her and listening to her problems, she did not seem to make progress, just always seemed in distress over one thing or another. One morning, she arrived late at a sports competition with her child.

The rest of us were already there with our children ready. She was full of drama and about how she was late and had no sleep, having been out late with a friend the night before.

She was rough with the child and told them to hurry up and change their clothes. The child quietly began to cry, and I felt something rise up in me. I managed to control my voice, gave the mother some money and firmly suggested she leave the child with me and to go get herself a coffee and take five. The mother was grateful. So was I when she left the room. I comforted the child, distracted her and put her hair up ready for the competition.

Later that day, back at home, I revisited the scenario at the sports competition and thought about what specifically had been the gut-punch for me.

Suddenly, it was clear. She was exactly like my own mother had been when I was growing up. My mother had borderline personality disorder and was very self-absorbed and volatile.

The more I thought about this woman and her behavior, the more I realized that I found her interactions with the child exceedingly jarring, and I found the woman herself rather triggering, as my mother’s complex parenting had a lasting traumatic impact on me.

Once I had worked this out for myself, I could make sure that I avoided the woman’s presence, though was there for the child as needed. The woman had a circle of support around her and by withdrawing from that, I was not putting her in isolation or impacting on the level of help she had access to. As well, this informed my boundaries in that relationship, as it was very obvious that I would be sacrificing my own well-being by having her in my social circle.

Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries which are firm, consistent and confidently maintained are the healthiest. If people have the strength and energy to keep their boundaries in place and not fall prey to pressure, manipulation or even inadvertent guilt, they are much less likely to feel burdened by anyone else’s issues.

Owning our own issues and being clear about issues which belong to others is a great way for us to be there for people. Keeping emotional stability in place while supporting a friend or loved one is a way of using our boundaries to protect us.

This is not to be confused with being cold. We will still feel empathy and compassion, but we will not feel responsible for sorting out their issue or fixing their pain. We may even feel a range of emotions ourselves.

Recently, I helped my daughter through the death of her friend’s mother. It was sudden and a shock and was the first time our daughter had faced such a loss. She needed guidance and direction to support her young friend. By keeping my own boundaries in place, I was able to manage my own emotion around the child’s grief and loss, while being available to my own daughter as she was supporting the other child.

Final Thoughts

This is a lot to think about, but to simplify it, here are a few tips. As a caring friend, these are just a few things that help me to keep my boundaries fixed in place, and make sure I don’t feel burdened by anyone’s journey.

If holding firm to your boundaries is difficult, have a support champion – a sister, close friend or partner who can help you to stick fast when you feel yourself wavering.

Develop a growing awareness of what you find upsetting, in the news or in books/films; these could be issues that although they are not triggering, they may cause you to over-identify which will compromise your ability to remain objective when supporting a friend.

You are not Atlas. You are not…. Atlas. If you need to use this as a mantra, go ahead. You do not have to take on the weight of the whole world. I have raised my children with the phrase “If you can help, help.” This is because it is important for me to have compassionate, kind children. But a friend recently pointed out gently that helping needs to not be at the expense of our own safety or sacrificing our well-being. Good point well made.

Finally, you probably saw this one coming: Self-care. At all times, be compassionate with yourself. That old cliché about always putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others rings true for a reason. You are no good to anyone if you are not being gentle and nurturing to yourself. And remember, concrete boundaries are a great form of self-care!

So, make yourself available to those who need your love and understanding, by all means. Just make sure that you don’t end up feeling burdened. If you do, check your boundaries, and prioritize your own well-being for your benefit and theirs. If you don’t have the capacity to help just now, respect that; there will be someone else out there who does.

~ Judith Staff

Judith Staff is a teacher in early years with a background in safeguarding and child trauma. She teaches part-time and also delivers training across various sectors including education, police, social care and the voluntary sector. Judith writes in her spare time, and her work can be found at www.judithstaffmusings.com.

She also has had work published at Feminine Collective, Our Frontcover, Heart, and Humanity, and Say It Forward. A number of pieces of her writing and poetry focus on sexual assault and related trauma. Professionally, she has written several commissioned articles for Optimus Education.

Judith is married to an artist, and lives in Northamptonshire England, just north of London, with her husband, three children, and two cats.

Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.

She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in

Broken Places, available in print everywhere!

The post How Boundaries Can Help Us Avoid Burdens by guest Judith Staff @jcstaff_ appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

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curlsincriminology · 7 years ago

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Six Days of Silence - Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: After a week of silence and fighting, the team comes up with a plan to get you and Spencer back on good terms.

A/N: This fic is Maeve erasure!!! Sorry! This takes place (in my mind) around season 8/9. Also this is the longest piece I have written in a while so sorry it took a while to get up! holy moly

Criminal Minds Masterlist | Complete Writing Masterpost

He was a hard-core coffee aficionado; you preferred the taste of freshly steeped tea.

He liked it more when things stayed static; you would wake up at 3am with the urge to repaint the hallway.

He was a string of numbers while you were the brush stroke of an ancient painting.

He was a tidal wave, a crash of facts and rapidly spoken words that jumbled together as a result of quick mind and a slightly slower tongue.

You were a blizzard, a flurry of confusion and excitement that left an awe-filled silence as a result of the beauty you created.

But you fit together perfectly.

He was your voice of reason; you were his sense of adventure.

He was your anchor and yet you were his wings.

You built off of each other’s strengths while guarding each other’s weaknesses.

He was not your Romeo and you were not his Juliet. Your love was not a quick fuse- blinding and destructive; it was the crackle of the fireplace on a cold winter night. It was warm and embracing.

Like fire, you were not the stuff of fairy-tales but of harsh realities. You would blaze brighter at some moments before returning to your comfortable glow. You would spit embers when pushed too far. Sometimes it took some help to keep the spark from distinguishing. But this time, you weren’t sure what it would take.

***

You’d never been this long without talking. Spencer was never usually one to be quiet, his constant rambling a comforting background hum that filled the silence of even your darkest days.

But it had been six.

Six days of silence and the feeling that maybe you both had gone too far. It was affecting your work, and the team had noticed the absence of your subtle hand touches and intimate smiles. They knew something was going on between the two of you, but not what.

The team was lucky; they weren’t present for the screaming match that happened the minute the two of you got behind the closed door of your apartment after the first day. They didn’t know that you had temporarily moved out of Spencer’s apartment, and were currently living in a shifty motel minutes away from headquarters.

But they knew something was wrong.

On day seven, you arrived in the office early in an attempt to bury yourself in casework, knowing Spencer was still at least an hour away from arriving. Your eyes were red and swollen from the angry tears you had shed on your drive over, and no amount of eye drops had allowed it to subside.

On your way in Penelope, her eyes clouded with concern, stopped you as you exited the elevator. “Y/N, what’s going on, honey? Please talk to me.”

You bowed your head in an attempt to ignore her, walking quickly through the glass doors towards your cubicle but the technical analyst was hot on your heels. “Just… not now, okay Penny?”

The click of her heels followed you despite your protests and you sighed, exhausted by the prospect of sharing how you felt and talking when all you really wanted to do was cry. Your world felt like it was crumbling around you; it felt like you were losing your best friend of almost a decade and your boyfriend of almost four, and that wasn’t something you exactly wanted to gab about.

She caught up to you nonetheless. “No, Y/N, please. Sweetie, you and Spencer aren’t okay and the team has noticed, especially when you two didn’t sit together on the flight home last night. I mean, I noticed and I’m not a profiler. I don’t want to push—.”

“Then don’t.” You snapped, throwing your bag onto your desk and turning towards your co-worker. The hurt in her eyes made you feel awful and you let out a choked sigh, rubbing your face roughly. “Penelope, I’m so sorry. I just can’t talk about it right now… I just need to work.”

You could see that despite everything, she was trying to understand. She gave you a sad smile and reached out to you tentatively, patting your arm with a gentle look. The two of you stood there for a moment before she gave your arm a reassuring squeeze. “I’m going to make some tea. Would you like some?”

You gave her a tired and grateful nod and she bobbed her head in confirmation before quickly skittering off. You took your seat at your desk and bowed your head in your hands, taking a moment to breathe before opening the first file you saw.

Spencer was suffering. Never the one to be lost for words, he couldn’t put his finger on why things had spiralled in the way he did. In the apartment the two of you shared… used to share, he fiddled absentmindedly with buttons of the cardigan you had thrown over the kitchen chair. It still smelled like you.

He tossed it away with a frustrated groan. He knew he was to blame in all of this. He was… on edge.

Maybe he was looking for an excuse.

The ring was in the inner pocket of his messenger bag, carefully placed amidst the case files and briefs, waiting for its moment to shine. It had resided there for six months… waiting for him to find the right time to present it to you along with everything it represented. But he couldn’t.

Now he didn’t know if he ever would. The young doctor raked his hands through his hair anxiously.

“Where do you see us in the next few years?”

You had been cuddled together in bed, his slender fingers tracing lazy circles on your arms as you fiddled with his hair. The question had been innocent enough—but he had frozen at the question, and you had noticed. Of course you had noticed. “I, uh…” You had both expressed your desire for kids and marriage and a future together, and your most recent case had dealt with a jilted ex-fiancée. It was only natural this conversation would come up eventually.

You had noticed his change in attitude over the last few months. He was quieter than usual, and when he spoke his thoughts trailed off frequently. He was spending more time away from the house, more time in his head when he wasn’t. And there were the phone calls.

You tensed. “Spencer.”

“I don’t… know.”

You had sat up abruptly, jerking away from him and causing him to scramble into an upright position. “You ‘don’t know’.”

It had all gone downhill so quickly from there.

God, why had I said that, he thought. Of course he had known where the two of you would be in a few years—he had the ring for a reason. But with you looking at him so full of unadulterated love, he had felt guilty because he knew you deserved everything in the world, and he was so afraid he couldn’t give it to you.

***

You were still off sulking and Spencer had yet to arrive. Penelope didn’t know how much time the team had before either of you entered the office and went in search of the missing members of the BAU, so she had to move quickly.

“I’ve asked you all here because our sweet like Boy and Girl Genius are at odds and I will not stand to see my dream couple torn apart after everything that’s happened with TomKat, and Heidi and Seal. My bleeding heart cannot take it.”

“Tom Kat?” Rossi’s quiet scepticism was met by Emily’s subtle eye roll as she leaned towards him to explain.

“She’s talking about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise.”

“Oh.”

Penelope’s noise of derision returned the room’s focus to her. “They are not important! What’s important is that Y/N and Spencer are clearly not in good places right now and we need to fix that!”

Emily leaned back in her seat, considering the complexity of the situation. “Garcia, what are we supposed to do? How many times have we seen them fight in the last four years? Twice, maybe? And those fights lasted what, a total of two hours tops? It’s been six days. Clearly this isn’t something small.”

Penelope’s face drooped as she nodded sadly. “I know, but we can’t just sit here while they drift apart.”

“Frankly, I agree with Garcia.” There was a room-wide expression of surprise at Hotch’s interjection. His stern face was pinched, a hand rubbing at his temple as he continued on. “Apart from whatever implications it’s having on their relationship, it’s affecting the team’s dynamic. Y/L/N and Reid are both clearly not in the right head space to complete anything properly, and I’d rather not make their relationship a cause for professional reprimand.”

The silence of the room was broken a moment later by JJ, her voice subdued as she fiddled with a piece of paper on the table. “He bought a ring, you know.”

“He what?” Despite the general shock, Derek was the one whose voice rang the loudest.

The blonde agent was clearly conflicted with how much of her confidential conversations she should be sharing with the group of experienced profilers. “Six months ago. He’s been waiting for the right moment to propose but you know how he is. He’s spent so much time with me and Will, constantly trying to perfect his proposal that he’s probably driven himself crazy.”

Rossi clucked his tongue, his brain shifting quickly with the insight of new information. “We did just finish that case regarding the woman who killed the ex-partners of her fiancé.”

“And the fighting started the day after, didn’t it?” Emily’s face was drawn tightly, an almost pained look of concern shaping her features. “Do you think he proposed and she turned him down?”

“Now, I know Pretty Ricky’s a little slow on the social cues but there is no way in hell that boy would choose to propose after a train wreck of a case like that. Even I wouldn’t want to think about settling down after what we just saw.”

“Whatever it was, it was bad, guys. Y/N is miserable all the time, and I don’t think Reid has said more than a few hundred words this entire week.” Penelope had taken to pacing back and forth in front of the head of the table, the tap of her heels echoing through the room. “But I have a plan…”

***

The words in front of you might as well have been written in some lost language that no one had deigned to learn in the last several centuries. You slid the case file away from you, suddenly overwhelmed by the clutter that surrounded you.

It had been several hours of this, this stressed false productivity that you were sure had resulted in numerous case reports you would have to re-do later. But at least you weren’t on a case and at least you had been left alone. Spencer had shown up an hour or so later after you had, quickly avoiding your gaze as he hurried past your desk to his own, and you had resigned yourself to another day full of silence and heartache.

The remaining members of the BAU had also been suspiciously silent, and you had caught them staring at you or Spencer multiple times throughout the day before resigning to strained whispers. You tried to ignore it as best you could, not needing the stress of your team on top of your own.

It wasn’t until the end of the day anyone spoke to you aside from the usual pleasantries and small talk. Derek had sauntered up to your desk to find you staring blankly at a crime scene report and he sighed at the sight. “Lil mama, you’re breaking my heart over here.”

You glanced up at him warily as he took a seat on the edge of your desk, picking up one of the many case files you were feeling buried under. “Hm?”

“You’re bringing down my mood, girl! I was totally set to have a day-off from the field and I can’t even enjoy it because you and Little Boy Blue over there are harshin’ my groove. So you’re going to follow me, and we’re going to get out of this sad little bubble you’re in and do something to bring a smile back to that pretty little face of yours. Alright?”

You gave him a hesitant nod and he awarded you with a mega-watt grin when the hint of a smile graced your lips. “Alright!” He cheered jokingly as he gently raised your chin to admire your attempt. “She still smiles!”

That did it, and you felt yourself smiling genuinely for what felt like the first time in forever. You reached for your bag and wallet, but Derek shook his head as he grabbed your hand. “Nope— Adventure’s on me, sweetness.” You shrugged and left your bag where it sat under your desk, following Derek as he pulled you along.

Spencer watched your interaction from behind his cubicle walls, a growing pit in his stomach as he watched Derek finally draw the first smile from you he had seen since your fight. He was happy you had support, but that didn’t make it any easier to witness. JJ was the one who finally broke him out of his reverie, pulling his gaze from you as you and Derek walked away.

“Hey.” The young agent turned to face his confidant with a desolate smile.

“Hi, JJ.” Her gaze followed the direction of his as she watched Derek chatting to you animatedly while you waited for the elevator. She let out a sad sigh and looked pityingly at the man in the chair.

“Oh, Spence…”

His face crumpled at her words, and he dropped his head into his hands. “I really messed up, JJ.” She knelt down in front of him, placing her hands on his knees in an attempt to regain his focus. She tried to regain eye contact, but with his head bowed, dark curls and large hands obscured her view. JJ squeezed his knees reassuringly.

“Let’s go for a walk and we can talk about it. Okay?”

Spencer nodded from behind his hands, allowing the agent in front of him to stand and pull him up from his seat before she wrapped a supportive arm around his waist.

***

Derek had made you wander around outside, leading you down a small path behind the building towards a sprawl of restaurants and coffee shops. You had, for just a moment, thought you had seen Hotch and Emily standing inside one of the French restaurants you had passed, but it was probably just a non-descript dark haired couple. Somehow, before you knew it the sun was quickly setting, and you realized you had managed to spend a stress-free hour or two without thinking about Spencer once.

On your way back to the office Derek stopped, you grabbing your arm gently to pull you into a surprising hug. It was a welcomed comfort. “I just want you to know, kid. We’re all rooting for you.” The sincerity of his statement was sweet, if not a little out of place, but you smiled gratefully in spite of your confusion.

“Thanks, Derek.”

He gave you a final squeeze before motioning you inside so that you could grab the things you had left behind. It wasn’t until you reached the elevators that you realized he was no longer behind you, somehow slipping away silently after his words of encouragement. You shrugged it off, knowing he probably needed to get home to Savannah, and that it would have made no sense for him to follow you upstairs just to return down to the car park.

It was a lot later than you expected when you got off the elevator and began the walk towards the BAU’s office segment. Luckily, that meant you didn’t need to talk to anyone or stay for particularly long.

Yet when you pushed through the glass doors of the BAU, you froze.

The bullpen was…awe-inspiring. It didn’t look anything like the space you were used to, the cubicles covered in gauzy white sheets strung with fairy lights that gave an ethereal glow to the entire room without the harsh overhead lighting. In the centre of it all was a small table, intimately dressed with a fine tablecloth and a bottle of champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. You couldn’t tell what was on the plates from where you stood but it smelled incredible.

It wasn’t long before you realized you weren’t alone.

Spencer cleared his throat, causing you to jump as he gave you an apologetic grimace. “Grabbing this?” He was holding your purse delicately as you looked at him quizzically, the question ‘why are you here?’ clearly evident on your face. He cleared his throat again before looking down at his beaten up shoes. “JJ asked me to grab a file she had forgotten.”

You shook your head wearily, nodding towards the table and the folded piece of paper that rested on top.

“I think we’ve been ‘Parent Trapped’.” You murmured under your breath, your arms wrapping tightly around your stomach in an attempt to soothe yourself. Spencer’s slender fingers reached out to pluck the note off the table as he set your purse aside, reading the short letter with a vaguely humoured expression.

“Dear Spencer and Y/N,

We don’t like it when Mommy and Daddy fight.

Please make up.

Love, the Team.”

He held the note out to you and you took it, quickly recognizing Garcia’s curvy scroll.

You groaned. Suddenly your outing with Derek and his constant watch checking made a lot more sense. Spencer gave you a timid smile as he stepped forward and gestured towards the expensive champagne Rossi had undoubtedly supplied. “At least we don’t have to pay for it?”

You stood stoic, your arms tense as you made no attempt to move towards the table and Spencer sighed. “Y/N.”

The chance of the doors out of the office being unlocked was slim, especially if the whole team was involved. They had learned the hard way that you were frustratingly stubborn, and they would have wanted to remove any and all ways for you to avoid facing the situation at hand.

Spencer stepped towards you, a dejected frown on his face when you unknowingly took a step back. “Y/N, please.”

You stared at him wordlessly before walking silently over to the table and taking a seat. He followed behind you sullenly, taking his seat and watching you fiddle with the napkin beside your plate. It was clear now, seeing the elegantly plated ratatouille and cheese plates that it had been Prentiss and Hotch you had seen earlier… everyone had had a part to play, it seemed.

It was some time before you found the words that had been floating around your head for a week. “Do you not love me anymore?”

Spencer spluttered, the fork he had been balancing in his hand making a loud clang as it fell to the table. “What?”

“Do you not love me anymore?” You repeated, raising your eyes to his so he could see the hurt and doubt reflected in them. Immediately, his hands reached to grab yours—he held them tightly as if you would leave him that very moment if he let go.

“Y/N. I can’t even—I don’t—I wouldn’t…”

Now that the silence had been broken, it was hard to stop talking. “Because if you don’t see a future with me, Spencer, even if you do love me, I would want to know now.” It was harder to breathe as spoke and your words were coming out with more difficulty. “I – I love you, Spencer, but I can’t stay with someone who after four years doesn’t love me like I love them. I can’t stay with you if you’re scared of a future with me.”

Spencer stared at you in disbelief, his heart aching as he watched you hold back tears. He took a deep breath, realizing that if there was ever a moment where he needed to take the leap, this was it.

“Y/N, you asked me a week ago where I saw our relationship going. And… and I panicked. Not because I didn’t see us having a future but because there was no future I could see for myself without you in it.”

You held your breath, somehow feeling numb and like every nerve ending in your body was on edge at the same time. You stared down at your intertwined fingers, and marvelled at the way they had always fit together so perfectly. Spencer’s expression was soft when you lifted your gaze back to his.

“Every day, we leave home, our home, and we face monsters. We see people at their lowest moments, when they’re dealing with unimaginable loss and pain.” He swallowed nervously as he gripped your hand tighter. “And from the moment I met you, I began to imagine what that would feel like. Because if I lost you, I don’t think I would ever be able to recover from that. I’m so in love with you it scares me sometimes, because every time we leave home, I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you.”

You let out a gentle sigh. “Spencer…” He shook his head to signal he wasn’t finished.

“And I know I don’t need to be because you are more than able to take care of yourself. But I’m still scared every single day that I won’t get to wake up next to you for the rest of my life, or I won’t get to raise a family with you. That is what terrifies me, Y/N. Not being with you, but being without you.”

The tears that had slowly been building behind your eyes had silently begun to overflow; you brushed absently at your face in an attempt to wipe them away while Spencer used the moment to reach inside of his book bag. The small navy blue box that had appeared in his hand did nothing to slow your tears. His voice came out slightly choked at his first attempt and he cleared his throat before trying again. You had somehow missed him getting on his knees. “Y/N Y/L/N, you have made me a better person in every single way possible, and if you’ll have me, I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. Y/N, will you marry me?”

You weren’t able to hear the giddy squeals and surprised gasps coming from Penelope’s office, but they would have only added to the surreal nature of the situation. You nodded your head vigorously, the words stuck in your throat. Finally, you manage to choke out a, “yes”.

Spencer beamed up at you, slipping the band over your finger before pulling you into a tender kiss as your hands moved up his shoulders to weave into his hair. You stood like that for what felt like a small lifetime, intertwined and giddy at the realization of what you both had just committed to.

“Thank God she said yes, you little Casanova, otherwise I would have accepted for her.” The two of you pulled apart in shock, the voice coming from the overhead system startling you from your idyllic moment. It took just a few moments before the cavalcade of BAU agents descended the stairs, swarming to you like moths to a light. Garcia led the procession, and as such, was the first to engulf you in an ecstatic embrace. “I’m so sorry for interrupting but I couldn’t help it.”

Derek was grinning from ear to ear as he clapped Spencer’s shoulder in celebratory manner. “Man, I can’t believe Pretty Boy popped the question before me. Definitely didn’t expect that.” He proceeded to pull you into a bear hug, raising you off the ground in his excitement and eliciting giggles from you in return.

“Congratulations, you two. May you learn from every single mistake I made in my three marriages and never repeat them.” Rossi chuckled.

JJ pulled Spencer into a tight hug, “I’m so proud of you, Spence.” She whispered as he squeezed her tightly.

Hotch and Emily offered their congratulations as well, before Hotch began to round up the group. “Alright, alright. Let’s leave them to it.” Final smiles and hugs were exchanged as Hotch turned to face the two of you. “We got the maintenance crew to hold off cleaning until tomorrow. Enjoy yourselves.”

“But not too much.” Emily chipped in cheekily, winking at Spencer who quickly developed a healthy flush at the insinuation.

“I have cameras everywhere.” Garcia said with a pointed grin, as Derek pushed her towards the doors. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Which still leaves you with a lot.”

You watched them begin to leave and you stepped forward hesitantly, calling out to your team, your family, that had done everything they knew how to fan your spark when you didn’t know where to start.

“Guys?”

The members of the BAU turned back to face you as you smiled appreciatively. Spencer’s hand had found his way back into yours and you were more than happy to realize there was no reason you would ever have to let go again.

“Thank you.”

___

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larrytcamp · 4 years ago

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Hidden Toronto: a growing list of the city’s best-kept secrets

RUPTUREDS OF CREATIVITY MAKE A CITY WORTH RESIDING IN

" I reside in Toronto," starts the commentary of the Oscar-winning brief Ryan, "a city in Canada where I see way a lot of shades of grey for my own good health."

It can be tough to reside in a place whose very appearances are a continuous reminder of our failure to do much better. Where a lot of streetscapes are specified by indifferent condos as well as the same handful of financial institutions and also pharmacies at their bases. Where cuts to transit make rush hour an increasingly derogatory experience yet also theoretical troubles to drivers are considered undesirable. Where we're told by our politicians that good points are past us which the "TORONTO" check in Nathan Phillips Square is unworthy of even the moderate funds required to keep it around for another year.

Where public investment is dealt with as a benefit and not a right, to be administered on the basis of political efficiency rather than need.

Thankfully, there are the buttons.

In each of the cellar restrooms at Otto's Berlin Döner in Kensington Market is a switch on the wall. Oversized and also unmissable but entirely unmarked, there is no demand to press them, yet you can. And also in the midst of the sweltering heat of August or the unlimited winter season of March, you will certainly be delighted.

Easter eggs like these are what make the city-- any type of city-- worth living in. They are the bursts of creativity or charm, oddness or fancifulness, that make it possible to get through the days during the greyer months when doing so would otherwise be an obstacle. Occasionally they are destinations, but often they are unforeseen. They are physical signs that a person, in a remote or very recent history, made the effort to care, to add something to the city material that would intangibly enhance the experience of it.

The Peter Frying pan statuary in Glenn Gould Park, as an example, is not special. It is one of 6 the same copies of Sir George Frampton's original in London's Kensington Gardens. It is not even the just one of its kind in Canada.

Yet with its 9 fairies, seven computer mice, 5 bunnies, 3 birds and one each of a snail, squirrel, salamander and frog-- all circling Peter as well as Wendy-- it brings a sprinkle of childish goal to the northwest corner of Opportunity and St. Clair.

There is no naturally sensible reason it should exist the park's pianist namesake had not been also born when it was installed. That it was donated by something called the College Heights' Association "to the spirit of children at play" is a peculiarity of background, and that it lingers to the present is a strange present.

The value of a city is gauged, partly, by its capability to provide the unforeseen and to emerge as an area where such shocks are welcomed.

It has to do with the city as source of nourishment as well as stimulation-- the city as play area, the city as theme park, the city as location that encourages exploration. The city as a home that makes you grateful to receive its prizes.

In the late 2000s, I belonged to the Toronto Psychogeography Society, which is a fancy means of stating I took place regular night strolls normally arranged by Spacing editor Shawn Micallef. The trips typically came under two categories: venturing with parts of the city that we 'd never ever or else experience walking, or wandering through locations we thought about familiar but that still had keys to reveal.

There was likewise a third sort of walk: ones that travelled via areas well known to simply one of us. At that time, I was dealing with my family at Yonge and York Mills, a location I frowned at for its distinct lack of points. On the second coldest evening of the wintertime, the group came up to my location, and we headed off via the vacant Don Valley Golf links.

Held in the air by looming concrete assistances, the 401 crosses the gorge there using a substantial bridge that rises over the greens. We climbed up the high hillside at the west side of the bridge up until we discovered ourselves adjacent to the highway, at the protected tip of a fork in the roadway.

Cars and trucks zoomed past on both sides.

I had known about the bridge and also the remarkable industrial-ruin feeling of its base. I didn't know you might securely come eye to eye with the freeway, staring down traffic on one of the busiest paths on the planet. I had never done anything like it in the past.

In that moment, Toronto in February was okay. -- Jonathan Goldsbie

HISTORIC LANDMARKS As Well As ARCHITECTURE

1. THE OCULUS PAVILION, SOUTH HUMBER PARK

Nearly 60 years after it was up to Planet near the south end of the Humber bike route, you'll discover a recklessness with an useful feature: a flying saucer affixed to a stone-faced public washroom. Engineer Alan Crossley's playful mid-century modernist masterpiece is a miserable things today. Grubby, disregarded, labelled with graffiti as well as a lot in need of a cleanup, it was just recently included in Architectural Conservancy Ontario's (ACO) list of structures in jeopardy. ACO states a plan to destroy the washroom (it's attracting what local councillor Justin Di Ciano refers to as "illicit deals and behaviour") and wrap the steel blog posts with stone from the restroom walls will certainly "weaken its building elegance." That strategy is being re-evaluated thanks to a campaign led by ACO head of state Catherine Nasmith as well as a change.org petition introduced by Stephanie Mah of ACO's NextGen. Sign the petition and also check out the Oculus. Admire its stylish asymmetry, examination the echo, then lie on your back and search for into its eye to the skies as well as marvel.

2. COMMERCE COURT NORTH TOWER, 25 KING W

This 34-storey limestone standard, part of the four-building facility that supports the city's monetary district, was the highest structure in the British Empire when it was finished in 1931. But the gold-coffered ceiling and art deco designing made it a masterpiece in its time and currently a treasured heritage building.

3. GIBRALTAR FACTOR BEACH AND LIGHTHOUSE, CENTRE ISLAND

Tiny as well as secluded, Gibraltar Factor Beach has a witchy ambiance. Possibly it's the huge desire catchers in the trees or due to the fact that it's beside Toronto's earliest (as well as spookiest) spots, the nearby Gibraltar Factor Lighthouse. Integrated in 1808, its original keeper, John Paul Radelmüller, was killed on a chilly evening in January 1815. Tale has it he was tossed from the top of the lighthouse by soldiers from Ft York which his ghost is still looking for his body. The tale grew in appeal following the exploration of parts of a human skeleton some years later on. Well worth seeing: Michael Davey's turning Rogue Wave art setup of materials washed up on the shore, in particular niches in the structure wall surface at the western side of Gibraltar Point.

4. HUMBER BAY ARCH BRIDGE, MARTIN GOODMAN TRAIL

This bridge goes by several names, yet what we can agree on is that it is among Toronto's the majority of lovely. Developed by Montgomery Sisam Architects and also opened up in 1996, the cycle- and also pedestrian-only bridge across the mouth of the Humber River belongs to the Martin Goodman Route and also connects the eastern as well as western halves of Humber Bay Park. Its dual white arcs and also symmetrical layout were influenced by "an abstracted version of the Thunderbird, an Aboriginal icon of the Ojibways, that inhabited the website for almost 200 years." The majority of spectacular sight: when getting in and also leaving on either side.

5. DAVID DUNLAP OBSERVATORY, 123 HILLSVIEW, RICHMOND HILL

In 1921, Clarence Incantation, head of state of the Royal Astronomical Culture of Canada, gave a lecture about a comet. In his audience, mining executive David Dunlap was captivated. He passed away 3 years later, but his widow, Jessie Dunlap, supplied to finance the construction of an observatory that would certainly contain the second-largest astronomical telescope on the planet. In 1971, Tom Bolton measured wobbles in the orbit of a celebrity as it circled around an invisible X-ray-emitting things so large that it had to be a great void: Cygnus X-1, the initial to be validated by monitoring. In 2009 the observatory was acquired by the Royal Astronomical Culture of Canada. Earnings from the sale of its land financed the founding of U of T's Dunlap Institute for Astronomy & Astrophysics. Eighty-one years after it initially saw light, the observatory continues to influence astronomers as well as hundreds of visitors. Interested? Call the Royal Astronomical Society of Canada. You will not discover a great void, however you will see stars-- and also much more.

6. AGA KHAN PARK AND ALSO MUSEUM, 77 WYNFORD

The World's society and also film critic, Kate Taylor, wrote in Might 2015 that Aga Khan Park, part of the complex that includes the Aga Khan Museum as well as Toronto Ismaili Centre, "births most of the features of a white elephant." She meant that figuratively, of course, explaining the "lengthy trip from downtown Toronto" as well as other downsides (e.g., scarce parking) of its location alongside the DVP north of Eglinton. Certainly, the 6.8-hectare park ignores Don Mills from a lofty perch, and as a social location it aspires to even higher objectives-- namely, "to urge intercultural discussion and also exchange ... in a time when the globe of Islam and the Western globe requirement to collaborate a lot more properly at constructing good understanding." Aga Khan Park has swiftly come to be a popular landmark.

7. HILL CHURCH, OLD FINCH OPPORTUNITY As Well As REESOR

Records of weird sounds and also "screams" (the ghost of a young girl killed at Old Finch bridge in the future, or pets at the close-by Toronto Zoo?) remain to swirl around this 1877 Methodist church and also cemetery in a remote wooded edge of the Rouge Valley.

8. SCARBOROUGH CIVIC CENTRE, 150 BOROUGH

Anchored by Moriyama's Kubrick-esque space ship, this ode to Scarborough's long-deferred huge desires is entering into its own as an individuals put with the addition of a new public library, the first contribution to the district in 25 years. Great diversion: the waterfall (when it's working) ranging from inside the Civic Centre to a wading pool. Fascinating sidelight: Swedish carver Carl Milles's The Hand Of God, committed to former Scarborough mayor Albert Campbell, protrudes from the orchard nearby.

9. THE MANSIONS OF WESTON, LAWRENCE As Well As WESTON OFF JOHN

The former town understood for its Masonic background additionally includes some of the city's loveliest century-old houses mixed in with its funky circa-1970s architecture. Little Avenue Boneyard above the Humber notes the area where Weston's initial settlers lived till a disastrous flooding rinsed the west financial institution and also sawmill in 1850.

10. TABER HILLSIDE OSSUARY, INDIAN MOUND CRESCENT

The remains of 472 native souls, thought to be 13th-century Iroquois, were discovered here in 1956 throughout building of the close-by class. ROM excavators claim the graves became part of an ancient reburial that complied with the relocation of an indigenous village. The bones were reinterred in 1961 in an event arranged by the city of Scarborough as well as attended by agents from the Brantford Six Nations book and also various other Initial Countries.

11. THE CAMH HERITAGE WALL, 1001 QUEEN WEST

When you pass the Centre for Dependency as well as Mental Health, take a minute to take a look at what remains of the block and rock wall that as soon as bordered the entire complicated. The wall was built in stages by people of the medical facility between 1851 and also the 1880s. More than a century later, the site is going through enormous redevelopment that is mindful of honouring its past while physically opening the room to break down barriers in between clients, health care workers and also the general public. Only a part of the wall continues to be.

12. BRAND-NEW! ST. ANNE'S ANGLICAN CHURCH, 270 GLADSTONE

St. Anne's Church near the edge of Gladstone as well as Dundas was constructed in 1907 in the Byzantine Resurgence design. Soon after it was built, the church inside was enhanced with mural paints by artists that would later on be referred to as three of the charter member of Canada's Group of Seven. Artwork by J. E. H. MacDonald, Frederick Varley, and also Franklin Carmichael show the life of Christ as well as occasions from the Old and also New Testimony. The paints were developed on canvases in each of the musicians' workshops and then attached to the church walls. They are the just well-known spiritual works by the Group of Seven.

13. BRAND-NEW! CAMPBELL RESIDENCE, QUEEN As Well As UNIVERSITY

Integrated in 1822, Campbell Residence is a heritage house as well as museum. It is among the few staying examples of Georgian architecture in Toronto as well as the oldest continuing to be home from the Community of York. The building was in fact created at a different website, at Adelaide East and also Frederick Street, by Upper Canada Chief Justice Sir William Campbell and his better half Hannah. It was used as a personal home and then an office building for greater than a century before being auctioned off in the 1970s to whoever could remove it from the property. A group of attorneys bought the house as well as relocate 1.5 kilometres to its current place, where it's now had by the City of Toronto and used as a museum, art gallery and also occasion room.

14. BRAND-NEW! THE GARDINER EAST PILLARS

The grand columns that run alongside the Lakeshore East bike lanes simply west of Leslie when sustained a 1.3-kilometre track of freeway that, in the 1960s, coordinators really hoped would eventually connect to Scarborough. But in 1999, council elected to destroy that raised section of the Gardiner-- however maintained a few of the pillars for posterity. Now, they pass as found art along with noting neighborhood highway background.

15. NEW! LESYA UKRAINKA MONUMENT IN HIGH PARK, COLBORNE LODGE DRIVE (NORTH OF CENTRE ROADWAY).

Beside High Park's Canine Hillside with its rough and tumble of unbound furry bodies, the sculpture of Larissa Kosach-- "The Greatest Ukrainian Poetess," who wrote under the name Lesya Ukrainka-- climbs in silent dignity. Larger than life and also gripping flowers in each hand, she stares in reflection across her very own exclusive yard. Contributed in 1975 by the Ukrainian Canadian Females's Council, the group still collects at the monolith each September to honour her. A homage to the concept of verse as well as literary works as a pressure for freedom, this verse appears on the sides of the pedestal in English as well as Ukrainian: "By very own hands freedom gained is flexibility real/ By others freedom provided is a captive's doom.".

PUBLIC ART.

1. WHITE ELEPHANT, 77 YARMOUTH.

Simply north of Christie Pits on Yarmouth, a life-sized elephant named Sally lives in James Lawson's front yard. The virtually three-metre-tall sculpture has actually made the nabe her residence because 2003. Lawson inherited her from his good friend, musician and commercial designer Matt Donovan, that made the monster as part of his thesis job at OCAD. Made of fibreglass, chicken cord as well as plywood, the large grass ornament stops individuals in their tracks. "I still listen to exclamations of surprise and also laughs from passersby," states Lawson. "She's progressively concealed by my cherry tree, which means that in the summer most individuals in cars and trucks miss her unless they're moving slowly.".

2. TRINITY SQUARE MAZE, BEHIND THE EATON CENTRE.

This little-known oasis of calm in what may be Toronto's the very least valued public square sits atop the hidden course of Taddle Creek as well as is come close to by means of Tibetan arcs. Like the 13th-century rock maze at Chartres Cathedral in France, it influences artistic reflection in those who put in the time to walk it. Also a great area to people-watch.

3. ROSEHILL TANK, 75 ROSEHILL.

A Canadian water site, Rosehill Storage tank was integrated in 1873. Throughout the Second World War it was enclosed by a barbed cable fencing for concern of sabotage, much to the irritation of citizens that 'd pertained to take pleasure in the periodic dip in the water. It was covered in 1966 to shield it from trespassing growth-- and also supposedly as a result of continuing Cold War concerns. A fountain, wading swimming pool, 1.6 hectares of reflecting fish ponds as well as a waterfall were included as surface area features, although nowadays the tank runs more as a park than a connection to Toronto's water background.

4. EQUAL BEFORE THE LEGISLATION, AT THE MCMURTRY GARDENS OF JUSTICE.

Like a fantastic editorial cartoon, this public sculpture by Eldon Garnet uses simply a handful of symbols to boil down a significant concept right into a greatly basic photo. A lamb and also a lion, both life-size and also cast in bronze, balance flawlessly on opposite ends of a scale, its imposition of equal rights going beyond nature and also physics. On its site behind the 361 College courthouse, where the city's most significant criminal situations are listened to, the work is a company and specific tip of the perfect of justice shared in Area 15 of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms: "Every person is equivalent prior to and also under the law and also can the equal security and equal benefit of the regulation without discrimination.".

5. MURAL BY PHLEGM, 1 ST. CLAIR WEST.

UK road musician Phlegm takes public art to new elevations with a just-completed eight-storey mural. Depicting a bent number as well as Toronto sites, it's "an allegory for the living and breathing nature of the city," according to the artist. Organizers wish the job, which is moneyed through the city's StreetART program, marks a brand-new chapter in recognition of even more adventurous public art.

6. PETER PAN SCULPTURE IN GLENN GOULD PARK, NORTHWEST EDGE OF ST. CLAIR As Well As AVENUE ROAD.

It's easy to miss this job dedicated to "the spirit of kids at play" beneath the chestnut boughs. This reproduction of the Peter Pan statuary in London's Kensington Gardens has gone to the nexus of among Toronto's most famous neighbourhoods given that 1929, put up by the neighborhood ratepayers' organization with the help of industrial property magnate transformed philanthropist Herbert Hale Williams, who is far better known for his commitment of Amsterdam Square across the street.

7. PULL OF THE LAND, ON BAYVIEW AT THE BLOCK FUNCTIONS.

Popular road artist Faith47 was appointed in 2013 to create a mural recording the spirit of Toronto's abyss. The outcome graces the underside of Metrolinx's Bala Subdivsion rail line.

8. PAN AM COURSE.

A collection of exterior artworks dedicated to the 2015 Frying pan Am Gamings stress some 80 kilometres of multi-use tracks from Claireville Tank in Brampton to the shore of Lake Ontario south of Rouge Park. Art setups developed in the months leading up to the Gamings connect 13 of the city's top priority neighbourhoods and also use the themes of art, nature as well as variety. Noteworthy: Underpass Park (envisioned) the mural cooperation between UrbanArts and also musician Dan Bergeron under the St. Phillips Bridge in Weston discovering the legacy of Cyclone Hazel. There's so much even more to the Path! Check it out.

9. SQUIRREL CULT STATUARY, JOEL WEEKS PARK, 10 THOMPSON.

Credit scores to the National Article for first mentioning that the quartet of bronze squirrels raised on hind legs prior to a huge acorn at the south end of this brand-new Waterfront park resembles absolutely nothing so much as a cult. When the paper asked artist Mary Anne Barkhouse why the squirrels would certainly genuflect before the nut, she simply responded to, "Why wouldn't they?" Appointed by the city, the squirrel sect is one aspect of a triptych called Echo that Aboriginal sculptors Barkhouse and also Michael Belmore created for the park. (The other items are a somewhat even more traditional beaver as well as fox.) On a current go to, a person had actually left a partially consumed bagel as an offering.

10. AL ENVIRONMENT-FRIENDLY SCULPTURE PARK, BEHIND 33 DAVISVILLE.

In a condo-cluttered spot of midtown in between Yonge an Mt. Pleasant, weird pieces of bronze as well as steel have been collected in tribute to several of Toronto's avant-garde artists of the 60s and 70s.

11. AL PURDY'S STATUARY, QUEEN'S PARK CIRCLE.

Working-class hero as well as poet Al Purdy rode the Depression-era rails west for inspiration. "Voice of the Land," as he was called, is likewise the title of the statuary by musicians Veronica de Nogales Lepre-vost and also Edwin Timothy Dam, which was appointed in 2001 with a little help from Toronto's first poet laureate, Dennis Lee, Margaret Atwood as well as Michael Ondaatje. It's just the second unabridged statue of a poet in Toronto, the various other being of Robbie Burns.

12. TALE OF OIL MURALS, IMPERIAL OIL STRUCTURE, 111 ST. CLAIR WEST.

The former Imperial Oil head office is currently the Imperial Plaza condo, with an LCBO and also Market by Longo's at street level. Flanked by York Wilson's substantial The Story Of Oil murals, they're the most stunning liquor and supermarket in the city. Both adoringly brought back and iced up in time, the murals stand for that type of postwar optimism where points that became dreadful for the earth were thought to signify the most effective wish for humanity. The vestiges of public grandiosity continue to be evident in the huge clock deals with constructed right into the shiny marble wall surfaces at opposite ends of the first stage, as well as a third springing from a matrix of golden-hued tiles in the centre.

13. BRAND-NEW! CIRCLE OF TREES, WOODBINE PARK.

Artist Laurie McGugan's 2000 Centuries Task at Woodbine Park, Circle of Trees, really did not go completely as planned. The item includes 7 maple trees in a circle, one of them cast in bronze (in 4 components, after that bonded together as one). As the trees grew, the bronze item would certainly remain the exact same, showing time through nature. "Although planted with optimum treatment, the living trees did not flourish as anticipated after about five years, however were battling to endure," McGugan says. "With some attention, by the Parks Division and the Conservator of Public Art, to the soil around the trees, they seem to have actually recoiled. The intended layout might still unravel over time.".

14. NEW! THE VESSEL, TADDLE CREEK PARK, 40 BEDFORD.

Standing among concentric rings of blocks that appear to ripple external like water, Ilan Sandler's The Vessel cuts a distinctive profile at the edge of Bedford and Lowther. Mounted in 2011 as part of a park restoration funded by Area 37 money from the nearby One Bedford growth, the sculpture is planned to stimulate the long-buried Taddle Creek that went across the midtown core through the late 1800s. Its four kilometres' well worth of stainless steel rods would certainly, in theory, stretch along the previous river's course to Lake Ontario if unfurled. As well as in warmer weather condition, it acts as an avant-garde public fountain, with water dripping from the rim down along its wiry surface area to a subterranean tank that waters the park.

15. NEW! GRAFFITI STREET, SOUTH OF QUEEN FROM SPADINA TO PORTLAND.

The swing on chains behind YYZ Gallery-- the work of local musician Corwyn Lund, part of a group show on guerrilla jobs-- is gone. But Graffiti Alley, aka Thrill Lane, is still one of the coolest area to decipher the best of Toronto road art.

Read more on Hidden Toronto: a growing list of the city’s best-kept secrets

The post “ Hidden Toronto: a growing list of the city’s best-kept secrets “ was first appeared on nowtoronto.com

Looking for IV therapy services in Toronto? Contact The IV Lounge.

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theteenagetrickster · 5 years ago

Text

Syleena Johnson Talks With Each Of The Ladies Coming From R&B Divas, Featuring Nicci Gilbert

. " data-medium-file="https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272387342-1.jpg?w=276" data-large-file="https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272387342-1.jpg?w=300" src="https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272387342-1.jpg?w=1024&h=1536" alt="Syleena Johnson" width="1024" height="1536">

=&" 1130978 "data-permalink =" https://madamenoire.com/1130936/syleena-johnson-rb-divas/15810272387342-2/ "data-orig-file =" https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272387342-1.jpg" data-orig-size=" 2731,4096" data-comments-opened=" 1 "data-image-meta =' "aperture":" 0", "credit ":" eOne ", "camera": "", "subtitle ":" Entertainment One"," created_timestamp":" 1577960155 "," copyright":" "," focal_length":" 0"," iso":" 0", "shutter_speed":" 0 "," label ":" Syleena Johnson"," alignment":" 1"," expiration_date":"", "regulation ":" ionemadamenoire.wordpress.com", "legal":" Photos supplied by Vaughn Alvarez, her public relations consultant: [email protected] "' data-image-title=" Syleena Johnson" data-image-description =" Marketing photos for

Syleena Johnson's new cd, "One. "female, syleena johnson." data-medium-file= "https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272387342-1.jpg?w=276" data-large-file=" https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272387342-1.jpg?w=300" src=" https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272387342-1.jpg?w=1024&h=1536 "alt=" Syleena Johnson" size=" 1024" elevation="

1536" > Source: Entertainment One/ eOne R&B Divas may be actually long over along with, but a ton of the dramatization seen on the show and its own offshoot is actually tough to forget. 2 people whose issues booted up quite the little bit of dust consist of Syleena Johnson and also Nicci Gilbert, particularly over that workout video recording situation. To now, clips of the ladies reading each other resurfaces in social media nourishes (" knock a-- knees" is actually still a traditional resurgence), and for some opportunity they weren't in a great area. In 2014 our experts inquired Johnson regarding it as well as she said when it concerned a resolution," we have fixed that our team will certainly never ever talk to one another again. That is the settlement little one!" Time may surely heal some wounds, though. Throughout a conversation we possessed with Johnson today when our experts talked to if she still corresponds with her previous R&B Divas cast mates, she undoubtedly mentioned they are all on great terms." Positively! Actually, each of them," she pointed out over the phone. "Yep, each of them. Monifah only betrayed along with me last night at my series. I simply spoke to Keke [Wyatt] and also congratulated her on her baby. I viewed Nicci [Gilbert] backstage at a WAGER activity that our team carried out and also our experts spoke for a minute. Belief [Evans] happened down to Sis Cycle. Meelah [Williams] arrives down to Sister Circle each one of the moment. Latavia [Roberson] concerns Sibling Circle, Angie [Rock] happened down to

Sister Circle. Our company all still speak with one another. There are no negative feelings between any one of our company I don't assume-- coming from my side anyway. "Johnson no more portions the tv with those women, but she carries out have a group of divas shediscusses monitor time with nearly daily in her Sibling Group crew. As co-host Quad Webb informed our team, there is no dramatization between them in this scenario, however rather, only companionship.

" She is actually completely right. That is our truth," she claimed. "We are actually not excellent people yet we create it operate every time. Our team don't have what you see on reality TELEVISION, the depiction of adverse visuals for Black females. It does not take place everyday at Sis Cycle due to the fact that no one's trying to carry out that. Our experts are actually not managing around attempting to suffer with each various other. Our team have personality flaws, that's for specific, but that is actually everybody. Our team do not deliver it out on the program as well as our team carry out that intentionally. Our experts do not battle with one another on the program considering that Sibling Cycle's mission has to do with us cooperating, so if our experts can't collaborate in front of countless individuals, we don't need to have to be on the series. I believe our team at the very least have that standard understanding when the lightings start. I believe that's what creates our team value each various other when the lightings are off."

" It's absolutely certainly not as if a fact tv environment, where perhaps some bad things are continued," she added. "Our team do not have that. Our company just involve work, 'Hey, female. What's taking place?' and also then our company go home [has a good laugh] All of our lives are actually so complete that everybody is certainly not really focused on attempting to battle and also go back and also forth with each other. That is actually certainly not the focus."

. " data-medium-file="https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272297388-1.jpg?w=378" data-large-file="https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272297388-1.jpg?w=450" src="https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272297388-1.jpg?w=1024&h=1024" alt="Syleena Johnson" width="1024" height="1024">

" expiration_date":" ", "stipulation ":" ionemadamenoire.wordpress.com", "lawful": "Pictures given through Vaughn Alvarez, her press agent: [email protected]"' data-image-title =" Syleena Johnson" data-image-description =" Marketing pictures for Syleena Johnson's brand new cd, "One. "woman, syleena johnson ." data-medium-file =" https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272297388-1.jpg?w=378" data-large-file ="https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272297388-1.jpg?w=450" src="https://ionemadamenoire.files.wordpress.com/2020/02/15810272297388-1.jpg?w=1024&h=1024" alt =" Syleena Johnson" width =" 1024 "elevation =" 1024 "> Source: Amusement One/ eOne Johnson's lifestyle is one of one of the most entirely packed these days. Away From Sister Cycle, she is a businessperson, an author, a better half, mommy, physical fitness rival, and also initially and foremost, a vocalist. She possesses a brand-new album, her 10th called Female, out now." I&desired the audio to be evocative of Syleena Johnson yet with a fresher, more recent sense," she mentioned." I only preferred it to become incredibly R&B and stay real to my roots, but I merely wished to refresh it up some additional and evolve it a little even more. Our company can't simply maintain performing the same kind of songs continuously and also then the sector is relocating as well as you are actually certainly not.

"" And also, it is actually a sound that I merely actually intended to check out, not to merely attempt to stay on par with the opportunities however since I wished my online programs to become more energised and a lot more mental," she added. "I truly believe that this is actually an extra warm, emotional cd. It comes right from me, soul smart, so I think it's visiting be actually impactful when folks listen closely to it. A practical girl, Queen Latifah, as soon as pointed out, 'If it comes coming from the center, it mosts likely to the soul.'"

It is actually a miracle exactly how Johnson is actually able to take care of every little thing on her plate, yet she mentions no issue what, the popular music she brings in will certainly constantly be her top priority.

" Songs is the cutting edge," she claimed. "First is actually music, every little thing else stated are subsidiaries. Songs is the parent provider. That's my puppy love. I am actually certainly never visiting cease creating songs so long as The lord will certainly allow me to create it. The other points are actually creating income flows and also assisting me go after other aspirations. I am actually certainly not merely unfair, I am actually varied. With any luck we can easily maintain as much of it as we can, but the music will certainly never go."

This content was originally published here.

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mrsrcbinscn · 5 years ago

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Script Excerpts: Franny’s Top Albums of 2019

[playlist]

tl;dr: A selection of script excerpts from a video on Franny’s YouTube channel called “My Favorite Albums of 2019″. Pretend I finished this in December like I wanted to and that January isn’t nearly over okay

Her channel doesn’t have a super regular upload schedule. She doesn’t feel like adding ~~~youtube personality~~~ to her long list of wikipedia page job titles. And she keeps her social medias (YouTube, Twitter, Instagram) firmly in the “this is for fun” part of her mind. She doesn’t make any sponsored videos or posts on social media but when the mood strikes she’ll upload videos about music, music history, current trends in the industry she’s noticing and her thoughts on them, album reviews, and her favorite content to make is videos where she signal boosts several lesser-known artists in one video and fangirls over how much she loves them and why y’all should, too.

INTRO: Susadei*, hello, and welcome to my channel, where I, Franny Sor Robinson, share my pesky lady opinions about music on the internet.”

*susadei is the informal way to say hello in Khmer, Franny’s first language

TOPIC INTRODUCTION: It is almost Christmas, which means! It’s time to talk about my favorite albums of 2019. As always, this list is in no particular order, because I believe that especially when talking about multiple genres of music - which we’re going to today - music isn’t something you rank on a linear bad, worse, worst, good, better, greatest scale.

RULES: Now, the rules!

The album can’t be one I had a part in “And I don’t just mean not a Franny Sor Robinson, Seoul Hanoi’d, or Dara & Danny album. I am an active songwriter and composer even durin’ years I don’t personally release an album. I have co-written substantial amounts of, or entire tracklists, on several albums where I don’t sing or play an instrument on the recorded album, but I’m all over the credits. I think I do enough shameless self-promotion leading up to, and shortly after, the release of anything I work on. So as much as I loved working with Sariya Ibekwe - who is a fabulous Nigerian-American jazz singer - on her debut album this year, I co-wrote a good amount of that album. But, I’ve already talked about Sariya’s album extensively this year, and will link to it in the description box below anyway.

The album can’t be by a close personal friend of mine “I would spend these videos talking only about my friends’ releases if I didn’t have a strict no cronyism rule in these yearly roundups. I hype up, like, Daniel, Vanessa, Yulia, Delia, Lora, Andreas’s, and so on’s stuff whenever anything new drops, so they already got their signal boosts.”

Beyond those two rules, that’s really it. So without further stalling, let’s get into it.

Traveling Mercies by Emily Scott Robinson

The first album I want to talk about is Traveling Mercies, by North Carolina singer-songwriter Emily Scott Robinson - no relation, but oh my god, I wish. I’d love to just meet her, once. She’s so talented, I just - ugh! Anyway.

Emily Scott Robinson is a country singer whose first album, Magnolia Queen, came out in 2016 but I didn’t come across it until after I fell in love with Traveling Mercies. Daniel Maitland - the other half of Dara & Danny - sent the Spotify link of this album to me, and I just ate it up. Her songwriting gets me good, y’all. Her imagery is somethin’ else, her voice has the clarity of Alison Krauss, and her ability to deal with some very heavy themes poetically without sort of...glorifying? or trivializing? them is unreal.

I should trigger warning this upcoming bit for discussion of sexual assault, so if you’d like to avoid that, I’ll put a timestamp right here [points] for you to skip to. I’ll give you oooone more second to skip, and...okay.

I had a hard time listening to The Dress at first, because whenever I consume any media that deals with sexual assault, I have to mentally prepare myself. Even the song I wrote about my own experience with it, I don’t - I don’t perform it. Very rarely, I will. It was a write it, record it, release it for your healin’, and try to be done with it kinda thing. But once I psyched myself up to listen to it, The Dress pretty much immediately became one of my favorite songs on this album. I do sometimes have to skip it if I’m not feelin’ up to it mentally, but it. It is a beautifully written song about a very ugly thing, and I think- I think its a wonderful thing that she wrote that song.

[...] and then there’s my favorite song on this entire album, the one that honestly gave me a moment of “oh. OH, she went there.” Pie Song. It starts out by literally, she’s literally singin’ about how to bake a pie, and it made me so nostalgic for home, because I remember being taught by my friend’s mom to make a pie just like that. Don’t skimp on butter for the crust, add a little moonshine, but then she just, the next line goes right into the chorus and its, “but nothing you can make, can make you good enough, if you’re cooking for a man that doesn’t love you.” When I first heard that shift in the song - honey, when I tell you my chest just [both hands go up to her chest] it was powerful. Even though it isn’t the saddest or heaviest song on the album, it’s my favorite. The clear imagery - I could smell the pie she was singing about, I could feel the flour on my clothes - , the plot twist.

Among the songwriting circles I’m in, this album is pretty popular with them for her songwriting. We go absolutely bananas for it.

Her songwriting is gonna take her places. I really can’t wait to see what she comes out with next. I’m a fan. I love her. SO much.

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP WHERE DO WE GO? by Billie Eilish

This is probably the most quote unquote, mainstream album on this list. Billie’s undeniably a known name, and rightfully so!

This album, y’all? Amazing. Flawless. True art. I’m always hesitant when my son tells me what the Kids TM are listening too, because I usually- mm. Far be it from me to gatekeep music, to say what’s good and what’s bad, so I’ll just say that it. Usually isn’t. My, uh, my thing. It doesn’t appeal to me, and that’s fine!

But I- the first couple seconds of ‘bad guy’ got me payin’ attention, at ‘all the good girls go to hell’ I was just like Wow, capital W, and ‘bury a friend’ had me floored. Billie Eilish’s album is probably one of the most interesting, unique, and complex albums I’ve ever listened to. I really- I love this album.

Walk Through Fire by Yola

We’re back in the underground country music scene because of course we are! Yola is a fantastic singer from Bristol, England. On iTunes this album is classified as rock, but her EP titled Orphan Offering was under country, and her music has a very americana-indie-country feel.

Yola’s voice is the best part of this album but that’s not to knock on the music and the songwriting because they are also amazing. I can’t talk about this album and not talk about Yola’s voice, specifically, though. Her voice is like a warm cup of ginger tea on a cold day. It’s husky, and bluesy, on some songs kinda jazzy, and the musicality she displays on the album is really dynamic. She’s soft and smooth, then she’s belting out some high notes, but she’s not spending the entire album hittin’ you over the head with her belting. She really gives you a sampling of what all she can do on this album.

My favorite song off this album is Shady Grove it’s just - it’s - I love everything about it. The string section. The sitar sound. The gentle percussion, and ohhh my good god, the melody is just beautiful. It makes me wish this album was out when my son was little, because [pouts] its a song that reminds me of the song I used to sing to him when we first adopted him, and I’d just kinda hold him in my arms ‘n sway and sing to him. It’s such a beautiful song, it isn’t even the deepest or most profound song on this album but it is the most beautiful song to me musically. And I was want to hold a baby and sing it to the baby, so bring me your babies. Gimme.

Seneca by Charles Wesley Godwin

I’m going to get into this album in a second, but first. We all know I am a slut for odes to one’s roots. I made a whole video talking about how despite its memeability, John Denver’s Take Me Home, Country Roads is actually a masterpiece. The short film I co-wrote and co-starred in with the director Lydia Viravong, a Lao-American I grew up with, is filmed and set in our hometown and based on our mothers. The Dara and Danny album ‘Progidal Children of Clayton County’ is a loveletter to me and Daniel’s hometown in Clayton Count, Georgiay.

And that’s exactly what the album Seneca is. Seneca is an album about West Virginia. Charles Wesley Godwin grew up in Morgantown, West Virginia, a coal minin’ town. The Seneca Creek ran through his back yard, his daddy was a coal miner, mama’s a schoolteacher - he had a very quintessential coal mining town upbringing. And you know, your upbringing shapes you and this album is all about his love for where he comes from.

The imagery in his songwriting is just [chef’s kiss] perfection. And as someone whose affection for her roots is just as strong, I really - this album made me emotional as all hell. A lot of it is really sad, if I’m being honest, but that’s also because its so honest. For example, the song Coal Country, tells the story of how West Virginia’s coal industry was the lifeblood of the West Virginia mountains, praises the union heroes of the Battle of Blair Mountain, and laments that in place of prospects for West Virginians, there’s now only food stamps and opiod addiction.

Seneca Creek...the full version is beautiful, but the acoustic version gives mechills every single time. He wrote it about his grandparents’ love story from when they met in ‘49 to when his grandmother got sick and died in ‘94. It reminds me of Holly William’s 2013 song Waiting on June. It isn’t the happiest song, but even after the verse where the wife’s passed away, the chorus following it isn’t sorrowful. It just goes

We built a home by Seneca Creek And raised ourselves a family I worked on the farm, you worked the store We had everything we'd ever hoped for

The narrator of the song is just talking about how he lived a simple life with the love of his life. That’s what the song is about, ultimately. And that’s beautiful. It makes me really, really feel lucky to be married to my husband when I listen to it, because for me, that’s what being married to him is like.

Strawberry Queen is ro-man-tic as HELL! It’s about his WIFE, and as someone who is also trash for their spouse and writes way too many cheesy-ass love songs about him....I love it. It’s beautiful. I cried a little but don’t tell anybody I have emotions.

The last sad one I want to mention is Sorry For The Wait. It is a beautiful song where the narrator’s been killed in a mine explosion and he’s telling his wife not to cry for too long, that he’s buried in the clay and so will she someday, and he’s sorry for the wait. The third verse gets me bad.

When you miss talkin' at me, holler t'wards the mine It's amazing how your voice echoes inside When the winter breeze tugs at your hair Jus know that it's me with a grin standing there

I’m not! Okay!

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Before I talk about the final album I want to gush about, I do want to mention four albums that I truly enjoyed but in an effort to not make this video go on forever and ever, I didn’t write a whole explanation about why they’re so great. But I really do think deserve a shoutout!

LOVE + FEAR by Marina

Divinely Uninspired To A Hellish Extent by Lewis Capaldi

Closer Than Together by The Avett Brothers

Wildcard by Miranda Lambert

Farmland by Gabe Lee

I can’t believe I haven’t plugged this guy yet because Gabe Lee’s album is fuh-king amazing. Gabe Lee is a country singer from Nashville whose sound you can tell has been influenced by classic country, modern americana, and like classic singer-songwriter types like Bob Dylan. It’s hard for me to interpret 100% of the time what his lyrics are about because at times his writing is pretty abstruse - oooh, pull out your thesauruses, kids - but the imagery in vivid. Its easier for me to talk about what this album makes me think of and how it makes me feel than to outright tell you what its all about. Farmland makes me think about drivin’ out in the woods in my high school boyfriend’s pickup to makeout and drink beer under the guise of deer hunting; or trying to sneaky-clean my muck boots after cuttin’ school to go fishin’ with my brothers; or pulling into a gas station in the middle of nowhere and handin’ some cash for pump one to a clerk that looks like he’s been there since the invention of petrol. There’s this grit to it that’s plain at the same time. Like there’s nothin’ particularly rebellious about skippin’ school to catch some fish, but it’s gonna get you muddy and sweaty.

The music is very simple and that’s one thing I like about it. It doesn’t feel overproduced, it just feels very classic. Like this album would easily have been made in 1979, 2009, or 2019. The standout song on this album, to me, is Last Country Song. Daniel [the other half of the bluegrass-folk-americana duo Dara & Danny] thinks its Eveline, which is another one of my favorites. The most fun song on this album? Lyra, for sure. I have a lot of feelings about this album, I love this album, and I really hope you give it a listen.

Also, y’all know that as an Asian woman in country music - well, kinda. I got one foot in jazz, and one foot in bluegrass-americana-country-southern-folk, and then I got a hand in indie - [jump cut] LOOK, genre is a social construct, okay? I make whatever music I wanna make and you can like it or hate it. What was I talking ab-- oh! Gabe Lee!

Right, so, y’all know, clearly you can see, I’m very Asian. [*gasp*, puts on a generic American accent] What do you mean you’re not white? [normal voice] Shocking, I know. I like to highlight other artists of color as often as possible, but of course I’ll signal boost whoever I think is fantastic. But whenever I come across another Asian artist in these [air quotes] “white people” genres, I get really excited. And Gabe Lee is Asian-American, which again, we don’t see very often in country music, or like, other genres that we consider “Americana.” So yeah, I think that’s really cool.

#&&...hc

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yuri-or-death · 8 years ago

Text

Spellbound: Chapter 01

Main Characters : Matsui Jurina, Miyawaki Sakura

Pairings: JuriSaku, WMatsui, JuriMomo (and more).

Summary : Matsui Jurina is the immovable ace of St. Hildegard’s School of Magic. Considered a protégé by many Wizard Saints, her technique and mastery is second to none. Enter Miyawaki Sakura, talentless, unrefined and socially awkward. Her golden ticket for admission into the elite school is her late father’s legacy.

What happens when Sakura suddenly gets transferred to the Special Class because of a lottery? Will the mysterious ace take interest? (Magic School AU)

CHAPTER: 01, 02, 03, 04

*~*~*

“I am the fiery life of the essence of God;

I am the flame above the beauty in the fields;

I shine in the waters;

I burn in the sun, the moon, and the stars.

And with the airy wind,

I quicken all things vitally by an unseen, all-sustaining life.”

– St. Hildegard of Bingen

A pristine white building stood in all its glory; the tall walls shimmered like the purest of snow. One would expect no less from the country’s top academic institution specializing in magic and arcane arts. The signage “St. Hildegard’s Academy” elegantly welded on the gates gleamed as the influx of students decked in white blazers and dark grey skirts came in like a wave.

Cherry blossoms fluttered as the wind blew, a rain of pink and white petals fell to the earth. Such fragile beauty was breathtaking yet as fleeting as dew drops in the morning.

Miyawaki Sakura, a girl of average height, small build and short brown hair stood before the main gate of the two-hectare campus. There was an air of uncertainty surrounding her as she fumbled with her acceptance letter. Her gaze was fixed on the marble sculpture of the school’s patron saint set at the middle of the 4-way intersection leading to the main building. The tide of people passing her by did not seem to bother her at all.

The letter in Sakura’s grasp was visibly wrinkled. She took a deep breath before her legs started to move forward.

‘Father, mother in heaven…I know I don’t deserve to be here but please watch over me from here on out.’

Sakura’s thoughts were interrupted when a figure cloaked in deep purple stopped her in her tracks just merely 5 steps from the gate. She recognized the uniform under the cloak through the gaps on the chest area. Without a doubt, the person in front of her was a student of this school. However, what she wanted from Sakura remains to be seen.

“Umm, sorry…coming through.” Sakura politely excused herself but before she could take another step the stranger held her by the wrist, rooting her in place.

“Ah! I see it.” The unknown voice muttered in a smooth tone; her nose and lips were the only visible features of her face and yet Sakura could undoubtedly feel a radiant glow coming from her. The stranger pulled something out of the cloak, revealing elaborately decorated tarot cards facing Sakura.

“The Chariot, the Wheel of Fortune and the Devil. Quite the powerful cards you have here.” The nameless girl droned on as she examined Sakura and then the cards intently. “Renewal after destruction; your destiny unravels before you and yet desire ultimately chains your soul. But don’t worry, it seems luck is on your side today.”

“W-what?” Sakura blurted out quizzically, she was not prepared for free fortune readings on her first day. It was quite bizarre to be cracked open by a seer—if this person was indeed gifted—at the first meeting without even giving a name or personal circumstance.

“I think you’ll meet her.” The words seemed to flow with inevitable accuracy, far from the abrupt conjecture it seemed to be. Sakura could not understand the wave of longing that suddenly washed over her for this someone, this “her” she had not even met.

“Her?”

“Yes, her. Isn’t it exciting?” Sakura saw her companion grin despite the stranger’s obscured face and yet in spite of it all she was still completely clueless.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“If you follow the path of the roses, you’ll certainly meet her!” The stranger repeated, spinning Sakura so that she was now facing the main building. “Your true north.” It almost felt like the stranger’s words were alive, silently creeping into the recess of Sakura’s soul like a waking breath; warm and fuzzy, and yearning.

“But—” Sakura was caught off guard once she looked back; the cloaked figure had vanished into wisps of smoke. Teleportation without a single incantation or summoning circle was some high-level magic; aside from being clairvoyant, just who was that girl?

Sakura sighed, at the back of her mind she wondered if all students of magic in this school were so capricious in using their abilities. Or perhaps was she jealous that she lacked the talent to use magic as effortlessly? She decided that there was no point in fussing over it now, not embarrassing her self with her innate awkwardness was actually more pressing.

“Sakura, there you are.” A tap on her shoulder anchored her back to reality.

“Haruka, I was wondering when you’d pop up.”

“How rude, Saku-chan.” Sakura’s friend from middle school, Kodama Haruka, frowned. “That’s not the way to greet people.” She adjusted the frame of her circular glasses.

Sakura shrugged and changed topic after noticing the fleur-de-lis badge on Haruka’s collar “Why do you have to be so smart and get into the Special Class? Who will I talk to now?” She quasi-lamented her friend’s acceptance into the school’s special program for gifted students but felt extremely proud nonetheless.

“It’s just the first day, please try to make friends Saku-chan.” At Haruka’s words, Sakura breathed in heavily, choosing not to respond as they made their way to the main building.

*~*~*

The white curtains stirred with the breeze. A tall blonde girl in her silken night robe peered from the window. Her long golden locks glistened in sunlight, framing her porcelain face with soft waves. Her facial features were refined, deep amber eyes, a high nose bridge and thin lips. Matsui Jurina, heiress of the country’s most influential Magi bloodline, stood in all her splendor.

Her gaze was calculating as she watched the students scurry about on their way to the opening ceremony. Her on-campus dorm room gave her the perfect view.

“Jurina,” A voice came from the doorway, the new comer’s attention was focused on the blonde’s lack of proper clothing. “Skipping the opening ceremony again? Don’t you want to see the fresh fresh ladies~?”A mischievous laugh resounded in the room.

Long slender fingers pulled the curtains close. “It’s the same every year.” The blonde’s voice was deep and weary, but still hypnotic. She turned to the person responsible for breaking her reverie. “You could’ve knocked, Momo.”

Standing at the doorway was a girl whose age was not far from hers. This “Momo” had short platinum white hair and was decked in all black from head-to-toe; there was no mistaking that she was a bodyguard of some sort.

“And pass up the opportunity to see you just in a robe? Not a chance.” Kinoshita Momoka smirked; there was a distinct air of familiarity between the two blondes despite the noticeable difference in their ranks. Momoka was Jurina’s security detail, but more than that she was an old friend.

Without a word, a sudden surge of black fire covered Momoka’s left hand, startling her as she belatedly casted a curia spell. “What the hell, J!”

“You’re a hopeless pervert.” Jurina hissed but continued to undress in spite of it. For her, being naked around each other seemed to have lost its effect. She meticulously donned her school attire, sequestering the clothing laid out on the bed.

Notwithstanding her earlier teasing, Momoka’s cheeks flushed at the sight of the other girl’s body. No matter how many times Jurina stripped in front of her, Momoka would feel flustered. “Stop being such a Mary Sue, damn it.” She sounded exasperated. Why must Matsui Jurina be so infallible? Beauty, wealth, power. Momoka always thought it was preposterous.

“I’ll be late, go on ahead.” Jurina’s voice remained ever so calm.

Despite being a servant of the Matsui household, Momoka was a student of the academy as well. They were both in the same class, in the same dorm—inseparable from the moment they were born.

“The hell are you spouting? I’m the knight in shining armor here, the one actually duty-bound to protect you.”

“You can start by actually obeying orders.”

“Then maybe I should start calling you my lady?” Momoka quipped.

Jurina’s eyebrow slightly rose; she flicked a finger and in an instant, Momoka was pushed out of the room by an unseen force. The door locked on its own accord leaving the short-haired girl pounding on the wooden slab. “Ugh, you really need to work on that temper, J.”

Jurina did not respond to the taunting.

The thumping against the door died down; there was pregnant silence before Momoka carefully spoke her next words. “Matsui Rena from the branch faction will return next week, the main family wants you to make the arrangements.”

“Understood.” Jurina bit her lip; there was an overwhelming need to steel her emotions.

Momoka sulked, knowing deep within her core that despite Jurina’s mechanical response, there was a void, a dark chasm like the blackest of nights that could not be filled. Matsui Rena was like a knife, perpetually piercing what was left of Jurina’s heart. And Jurina? Jurina was a willing slave to the past.

*~*~*

The Headmaster’s office was adorned with intricate rosewood furniture and crystal ornaments. There was a bookshelf of ancient spells and classical literature on the left of the mahogany executive desk, on the right were elaborate bottles, vials of potions, elixirs and preserved magical insects, mostly winged. The wall in front of the desk was decorated with ancient maps and scrolls that would probably be more expensive than Sakura’s whole inheritance.

Sakura thought it felt more like a museum than an office. The scent that filled the air was that of sandalwood and old books. Beside the Executive chair was a wooden trunk, perched upon it was a large, majestic hawk. Its dark eyes were like bottomless pits waiting to devour her.

‘Headmaster Akimoto Yasushi’ was the name engraved on the golden plaque atop the desk. Despite the numerous trinkets in his office that could probably be considered natural treasures, the headmaster was a legend by his own right in the wizarding world. After all, he was one of the 10 remaining enchantment engineers in existence.

“Your father was a very close friend of mine.” The Headmaster’s monotonous voice could be mistaken as devoid of emotion despite his sincerity. “No, he was more like a brother.”

“Thank you for having me.” Sakura was aware how much her surname weighed in on the fact of her acceptance to this school. Her late father, like the Headmaster, was a renowned engineer. In fact, he was the lead proponent in the development of aura-synthesized weaponry compatible with non-magical personnel.

The Headmaster adjusted his glasses, searching Sakura, scrutinizing; peeling off every layer of her being like the hawk beside him. “Under normal circumstances, I would not permit your admission to this institution. It has been a long time since I saw a candidate…so hopelessly lacking in the practical arts.” The Headmaster went on to point out the dismal grades Sakura had during the entrance exam. “You have no affinity to any element whatsoever, and could not even properly perform stationary levitation.”

Sakura internally cringed at the sharp blows to her ego but could not argue against the truth of it.

“But you are a bloodline of the Miyawaki, a legacy. And for that, I will give you but one chance to prove your worth.”

“I am deeply honored and thankful.” Sakura bowed severely, struggling with the formal words and etiquette she scarcely learned. Despite coming from a famed magi family, she was raised as a commoner, several leagues behind the nobility of other students in the Academy.

“Make no mistake, this is not out of fondness but mercy.”

Sakura sustained her bow, the cold words rang through her like a torrential rain.

*~*~*

“My child, remember that without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know more.”

While growing up, Sakura’s father taught her that words had immense power. As a mage, it was used to reinforce a spell’s effect; as a person it was used to form bonds with others. Spells that were invoked out loud could obliterate the opponent more efficiently—the devastation multiplies tenfold, but words that are haphazardly said could destroy as much.

“It’s the Miyawaki girl, the daughter of Silver.”

“I heard she was so bad at spell casting, they didn’t even let her finish the test.”

“Why is she even enrolled if she’s useless?”

“The Headmaster’s friends with her father, definitely undue favor.”

During the opening ceremony at the auditorium, Miyawaki Sakura was ostracized for her worth, or lack thereof. Girls were gossiping around her as if she couldn’t hear them. Like the Headmaster’s assertions earlier, she couldn’t dispute these allegations. She was talentless, she was a failure, and she got in because of special treatment.

Last night Sakura was thinking of finally making friends on her first day in high school, maybe even opening up over karaoke, maybe having sleepovers and study dates with classmates. Maybe it was time for her to break out of her introverted shell.

Slowly, as the day drawled out to a close, those “maybes” turned into “nevers” in her mind. She stood in front of the cafeteria, holding an empty tray, her appetite long gone.

“Good afternoon, if you need anything please don’t hesitate to approach me.” A girl with shoulder length hair greeted her warmly, Sakura recognized her as the Student Council President who spoke during the ceremony this morning. “Yokoyama Yui,” she introduced herself, a maternal glow about her.

“Miyawaki Sakura.” Sakura shook her hand. The President’s genuineness was a breath of fresh air from a whole day’s worth of oppressive gossiping concerning the circumstances of her enrollment.

“Don’t take it to heart.” Yui coaxed, knowing full well the rumors that were circulating. The freshman muttered her thanks and both girls went separate ways when other officers of the Student Council called Yui.

Sakura was left alone yet again; she resolved to spend her remaining free time in the courtyard at the back of the main building. “Loneliness, my dear friend.” She whispered beneath her breath, stretching out her arms with a yawn. The school grounds were wide and unexplored; it was a beautiful afternoon to get lost in the archaic scenery of St. Hildegard Academy. She noticed a lone structure some miles ahead and decided to pursue it.

She made her way to an old solarium, far from the main building, she noted that it was a site deliberately left out from the campus map they were given during freshmen orientation. The old glasshouse piqued Sakura’s interest, her mother was an alumna of St. Hildegard and she could recognize the dilapidated structure from the stories.

The old solarium had it’s own kind of untamed and vibrant beauty. The glass roof was shattered on certain places that allowed vines, wild flowers and other greeneries to creep out from the gaps. Flowers and plants alike flourished in disordered coalescence, amid a cage that could not contain them. As she entered the glass house Sakura felt that it was more authentic than any other thing or person in this whole school. She could lose herself in this for hours.

“St. Hildegard loved nature.” Sakura jolted in surprise. “That’s why we mages feel an affinity to her because of her union with the elements.” The leveled voice from behind was reminiscent of the embrace of cold silk.

A blonde girl held open the door of the solarium, whether she was displeased to see a new face encroaching upon her self-proclaimed jurisdiction, she did not let it show. “I’ve never seen you before.”

“Sorry for intruding, I just enrolled here.”

“It’s fine, I don’t mean to keep the flowers to myself.” The blonde came forward, her hair bounced ever so lightly in accord with her lithe movements. “I’m…”

“You’re Matsui Jurina.” Sakura answered for her, there was no way to not know. Every movement the other girl made felt calculated to perfection. She never expected to meet St. Hildegard’s renowned ace in such a casual encounter.

“I’m flattered you know of me.” A scant smile graced Jurina’s lips yet her eyes remained somber. She waived her hand and a cold mist followed by droplets of water drizzled over the flowers. Like the cloaked stranger from this morning, there was no invocation or summoning circle used, it only served to confirm the ace’s magical proficiency. “Do you like the roses?” Jurina asked without expecting anything.

Sakura was unsure how to interact; she lowered her gaze to avoid eye contact. “They’re wonderful.” Her mind could scarcely process the fact that the most prominent girl in school was talking to her instead of making fun of her.

Jurina sensed the freshman’s hesitation so she led on the conversation. She thought that for this young girl to come here in this abandoned place, surely she needed a breather. “I come here everyday to tend to the roses, they’re very fragile and needy compared to the wild flowers.” The setting sun dyed the skies a reddish color. Under the soft hues of dusk, Jurina’s countenance grew more enthralling.

An inexplicable pull of gravity enveloped Sakura as she observed the older girl. “Are the roses your favorite?”

“No.”

Sakura looked at her with a perplexed expression.

“I’m here because they need me.” It sounded more like someone chained to an obligation or duty or even debt. “I like hydrangeas more.” Jurina continued, pointing at the shrubs at the side of the glass house. There were no flowers visible yet. “They bloom in the rain.”

Sakura found it rather poetic, or mysterious…or whatever beautiful adjective there was to describe Matsui Jurina. “I see.” She would not dare to say all those things out loud.

“Your name?” The ace prompted, holding out her hand politely.

Sakura reached for it, “Miyawaki Sakura.”

As their fingers brushed scorching pain shot through Jurina’s spine like a lightning bolt. The ace recoiled as if her hand had just been set ablaze. Jurina’s mind plunged into chaos, her senses heightened with sensitivity.

Sakura attempted to support Jurina as she fought to regain her balance but the blonde resisted her advances. “I’m sorry… w-what just…?” A tidal wave of panic and terror filled the young girl.

“It’s fine.” Jurina tried to reassure the freshman as she recollected herself. She was completely repulsed by her own display of vulnerability. By now the sun had completely set and a blanket of shadows enveloped them.

In the next heartbeat, enchanted water lilies floating on the pond a few feet from both girls emitted light as they transfigured into transparent, iridescent flowers. Small specks of light floated from the petals and flooded the solarium like fireflies.

Jurina’s eyes were glazed from the frail lights that surrounded them. It was the most beautiful thing Sakura had ever seen. Sakura realized why the blonde girl frequented this place but she could not appreciate the scenery’s brilliance entirely.

Sakura noticed a stigmata appearing on Jurina’s wrist—the same hand she had touched was unblemished before. A snake eating its tail forming an infinity mark was seared on the ace’s skin. She knew what it was called in ancient writings: ‘Ouroboros’, the devourer, the great serpent, the beginning and the end. “That mark,” Sakura muttered not fully grasping what it meant.

Jurina snatched her hand away from the young girl’s sight. Her tone grew stern and forewarning, “It’s getting late, you should leave.”

“Did I hurt you? Was it because of me?” Sakura grew frantic; she could barely hazard a step closer before a rapier stopped her frozen.

“Move back, little girl.” Kinoshita Momoka, The Knight, growled from behind Jurina, The tip of her sword dancing just beneath Sakura’s chin. Momoka held the ace by the shoulder protectively, pressing Jurina’s body toward her own.

“Withdraw, Momoka. She did nothing to cause alarm.” Jurina commanded, the chill in her voice leaked with authority.

Momoka’s blade remained where it was until Jurina swiped it by the hand herself. “I’m sorry for frightening you. School has ended, it’s best for you to report to the dormitory on your first night.”

Sakura wasn’t entirely sure what to make of this encounter, but it was clear to her that there was no room for protest. Wordlessly, she nodded and took her leave.

“Lumina” Momoka invoked a spark spell. Despite their problematic first meeting, she was a dutiful senior, all else equal. A trail of light followed Sakura in her departure. Jurina watched the freshman disappear into the darkness.

“Show me your hand.” Momoka grabbed Jurina by her fingers before the ace could even respond. The stigmata on her wrist that emerged earlier had completely disappeared. The bodyguard’s probing gaze did not leave Jurina. “You wavered.” It was more of a statement than a question.

“Perhaps it was a dissonance between our auras, I forgot to switch my limiter.” Jurina refused to meet her friend’s piercing eyes.

“I’m sure little lassie didn’t understand a shit about activating her aura, there was no astral force surrounding her at all.” You should’ve felt that. Momoka was so tempted to add, she clearly saw beyond Jurina’s misrepresentation.

“And you never switch off your limiter.”

“Let it go, Momo. It is what it is.”

*~*~*

The dormitory rooms were modest but very sophisticated. The oil paintings, curtains and bed drapes reminded Sakura of the renaissance period. Her father ingrained in her the motto ‘simplicity of lifestyle’ and for the first time in her life she felt like a princess.

While she lay in bed, she thought of the events the whole day. The moments replayed in her head like a camera reel. For the most part, she wanted to erase the bitterness festering in her chest because of her classmates’ attempt to isolate her. However, the encounter with Matsui Jurina felt most surreal. St. Hildegard’s ace was beautiful and regal, but also quite aloof.

Sakura lifted her hand in front of her face, studying the fingertips that touched the blonde ace. Sakura felt some surge of power flow through her after their brief contact. It felt warm and invigorating, although she could not stop worrying over Jurina’s pained expression. Had she hurt her? What was that mark? Did Jurina or her companion hate Sakura now?

She grabbed her mobile and keyed in a message for Haruka.

I didn’t see you all day! (TдT)

– Saku-chan

Sorry! I was so busy! (⋟﹏⋞)

How did your first day go? (◕‿◕✿)

– Haruppi

Sucks. ┐(´д`)┌

Everyone hates me.

Save meeeee

（◞‸◟）

– Saku-chan

Who hates you? (#｀皿´)

(╯°▽°)╯ ┻━┻

I’ll hex them!!

– Haruppi

A knock on the door caught Sakura’s attention. She gave permission to enter.

Sakura was stunned to see the cloaked stranger from this morning standing at the doorway although this time the hood obscuring her face was down. She had short brown hair, an attractive face with a boyish aura.

“Good evening newbie! It’s my shift as prefect of the dorms tonight.” She grinned while handing out an envelope with the Headmaster’s dry seal. “I was tasked by the Headmaster to deliver this correspondence to you. Okada Nana, at your service!” The prefect bowed like a hotel staff.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Miyawaki Sakura.” Sakura received the letter.

“Call me Naa-chan. So was my tarot reading correct? Did you meet her?” Sakura couldn’t believe that Nana still possessed the same exuberance from this morning.

“I met a lot of new people, honestly.”

“But I never miss! You probably met someone interesting.” Nana folded her arms on her chest contemplatively then sighed. “Either way, you should rest. And don’t break the curfew!”

The two girls said their pleasantries before Nana left for her 2 nd patrol.

Sakura sat in front of her study desk as she opened the letter.

Greetings Miyawaki Sakura,

You have been chosen for the zero position through the annual lottery. Tomorrow henceforth, you are registered as a member of St. Hildegard Academy’s Special Program.

Do keep in mind the gravity of your situation. Should the Board find your performance unsatisfactory, an expulsion would be proper.

Earnestly,

The Board of Regents

“Eeeeeeeh?!!!!!” Sakura could not help but feel as if fate was playing her. Everyone in this prissy school probably knew how bad she was at spell casting and yet here she is, propelled at the center of the most elite class in the Academy. This ‘lottery’ was more likely a farce. She was almost sure the Headmaster and his Board just signed her death sentence. Throw the weakest link to the sharks; it was all too convenient to have her debarred by her own lack of merit.

Her fists banged the wooden table, her eyes burned with determination. She could take the gossips, some bullying and the near death experience by the sword of a person she knew not the name; but this was the last straw.

Miyawaki Sakura would not go down without a fight.

“Father and mother in heaven, I will not fail.”

*~*~*

The ghastly moon shone an unearthly glow; light seeped in from the window of the dark room.

Matsui Jurina tossed and turned in her robe, shackled by the dregs of a nightmare, one too many. There was no solace in her sleep.

Lingering in her dreams was a girl she could not save, drowning in dark murky waters. Jurina cries out a thousand times—willing herself to move yet entirely in vain. The girl dies in every version, in every altered universe.

All that’s left is the void: cold, vast and unforgiving. Then in the abyss, the eyes of the great serpent open, glistening like hellfire.

The routine is unbroken; Jurina wakes—sweating, breathless and spent.

When the dreams are too vivid, just like tonight, Momoka enters the room in haste. After switching on the lights she strokes Jurina’s hair to calm her, not a word is spoken.

*~*~*

Author’s notes:

1. This includes WMatsui because I miss them. TT____TT

2. Harrupi is not in love with Sakura. It will not be the “friendzone plot”.

3. How about a bit of Jurina x Momoka? Because… they’re both gay as hell?! And because I’m Sapphic AF.

4. This is originally an OS…but I’m falling in love with the universe. I will continue depending on feedback and/or if people are interested.

#matsui jurina #miyawaki sakura #jurisaku #matsui rena #kinoshita momoka #yokoyama yui #okada nana #kodama haruka #spellbound #magic school au #fanfiction #akb48 #ske48 #hkt48 #nmb48

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