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vvolfstare · 2 years ago

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'cause you waited your whole life | stucky birthday

@vvhite-vvolf

tw: discussion of canon-typical triggers, some kisses and thots, but mostly just birthday fluff

NSFW-ish past the ***

It had been decades since Steve got to spend Bucky's birthday with him, and there was no chance of him letting this one pass unnoticed. He'd made sure they both had off work so they could spend the day together however they liked. He'd also casually let it slip to the Space Kids, knowing they'd want to do something to celebrate. Steve had tried out a couple of the recipes he'd been practicing, Finn made a cake, and Rey brought presents and stuck glow in the dark stars to the ceiling, which he thought was a nice touch. They might have to find a way to get them up there permanently. It had been one of the nicest evenings they'd ever had together as a family.

Steve couldn't resist the temptation for presents either: copies of all the Lord of the Rings books and the softest, snuggliest sweater he could find in the same shade of gray as Bucky's eyes. There was a tiny bit of selfishness in that one, since he couldn't wait to see it on him and probably eventually steal it, but pretty much all the sweaters were in a constant state of being stolen and stolen back at this point. He was tucking the leftovers into the fridge and cleaning up the kitchen after the kids had left, the radio on as it always was if Steve was in there.

Bucky hadn't given much thought to the time of the year coming upon him. It wasn't until plans had started being made and his sneaky husband bringing the Kids into it that he'd realized his birthday had been approaching. He'd thought his heart had been full before, and he really hadn't been prepared. He was already figuring out a way to have the stars Rey had brought stick. The serious consideration was to paint them, just find a paint to glow in the dark. He'd be happy with that. Warm hugs and affection with his whole family had left him feeling soft and all too mushy.

The presents had made him tear up multiple times, the sheer consideration and thought of them. He was looking forward to that sweater, seeing Steve in it while it smelled like him. As much as he loved having the kids over, he was looking forward to his night with Steve. As he was in the kitchen, Bucky padded in quietly to slip his arms around him, dropping kisses to the back of his neck. "Thank you," he said softly, pressing his face into the soft skin where neck and shoulder met, "for giving me a family."

Bucky's birthday had never passed without Steve's notice, and it was usually him white-knuckling it alone and regretting the fact that he could no longer get drunk. They'd spent too many of them apart. Having a houseful of family over for it was a kind of whiplash in the best way. He didn't always know quite what to do with all the good things, the good people, in his life lately, except be grateful and try to be worthy of them.

If Bucky said even a word about painting the stars on the ceiling, Steve would have his next project laid out for him, which might be best, since it would keep him out of the plumbing for a while. He'd always been a better artist than a handyman. He wrapped an arm over his, the other reaching back to run through his hair as he leaned slightly into the warmth of him. "You made us a family, sweetheart. That wouldn't have happened without you." Steve had been fond and protective of the kids before Bucky got there, but he hadn't been inviting them over to dinner or learning how to braid hair. It was Bucky's sweetness that had pulled them all together.

If he let himself think about them too long, he'd wind up asking for the stars to be painted. He wanted to keep every bit of the Space Kids in their life that he could. The potential of it keeping Steve's hands off of the plumbing was a secondary thought, but could be a deal sealer. He loved him, but a handyman he naturally was not. He took the weight of him with a happy sound, snuggling him lightly.

"I'm not the one who brought it all together," he pointed out with a small smile. He liked the way they'd all come together, how happily and easily they all accepted each other into their lives this way. He brushed another soft kiss to his neck, sliding his hands down to his hips to turn him gently. "Dance with me?"

Steve would gladly paint him anything he wanted. It just hadn't occurred to him as the best option yet. Sallow Hills had given him the time to start drawing again, something he hadn't done regularly since the war, and he had plenty of muse with Bucky there. He sank easily into that hold, a soft smile on his face as Bucky snuggled in. The kitchen was cleaned up, and they had the rest of the night to relax.

He was, but he didn't want to argue about it. He turned easily under his hands, pressing against the long line of his body, arms wrapping around his neck. "You make everything better just be being here," he said instead, kissing him softly. Bucky had always been that way. It was his sweetness that had made the Howlies like a family, and it was the same now with the kids. Steve wasn't sure he was capable of forming those connections on his own. Look how quickly the Avengers had fallen apart. His heart went soft at the question, and he wrapped a hand in his, brushing a soft kiss over his knuckles. "Always."

He had noticed Steve's hands being more and more smudged like they used to be, and it made him smile more every time. He had been worried that part of his lover had been lost to trauma and was grateful it hadn't been. The way that Steve automatically sank into him made him warm and happy. But then, life with him did that all on its own anyway. There was just a trust, a love, and a comfort in the way they could so easily sink into each other and know it was safe to do so.

A soft sound escaped him when Steve turned in his arms and pressed close, that long line of heat one of his favorite things in the world. His hand traced softly up the line of his spine as he returned the kiss, his throat feeling a little tight. In his mind, Steve had always been his family and the one at the center of his world, so it was hard to imagine being the center of anything himself. Taking his hand, he smiled softly at the kiss and twisted their hands enough to press a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist as his hand slid to the small of his back. He started leading him to the soft music that played through the space, resting his forehead lightly against Steve's.

Steve had always admired art, but he'd thought the need to make any of it himself had died with Bucky. It came back in fits and starts after he got out of the ice, but living one fight after another hadn't exactly been the right mindset for it. It wasn't until Sallow Hills that he gave it another serious try. He had nothing but time there, and thinking he might never see any of his friends again was motivation enough to try to get down all their faces, everything he could remember. If Bucky's turned up the most in his sketches, it was no mystery why.

That soft kiss made his breath hitch. Bucky had always known just how to steal his breath and his heart. He tipped his forehead against his and let Bucky lead him easily through the steps. Bucky was the better dancer too, but Steve was just grateful he danced better than he cooked. It was a regular thing in their evenings, in the living room after dinner or in the kitchen cleaning up, sometimes with Tiana if they had dinner with her, since they all had a fondness for 20s music. Ironically, Steve and Tia in the 20s had no interest in dancing, but he loved dancing with Bucky. The right partner made all the difference.

The way they were so easy in each other's space, how they could just move together, would never fail to amaze him. He'd spent most of his life trying to get Steve to dance, and now all it really took was a softly worded request in their kitchen. When Tiana was around, he tried to rein in some of the sappiness of it. She'd dance sometimes, but every time she did, he saw that sad get a little deeper. He didn't know how to fix that, but they would never stop reaching out.

His arm tightened around his waist, tugging him flush to him with a soft smile. This was his perfect partner, in all things really. Tipping his head, he kissed him softly and lingered over it. "This has been my best birthday," he admitted softly against his lips.

Steve lowkey worried about Tia. Lowkey because he knew she'd never allow him to actively worry over her, and she'd probably put a stop to what little she allowed him to help if he tried to do any more. He recognized that sadness though. It had lived with him for years, and he knew there was nothing he and Bucky could do about it. It was the kind of lonely their company wouldn't fix, but at least they could keep her from isolating too hard.

He'd always wanted to dance with Bucky. For a long time, he'd had to refuse for his own sanity. He'd never have been allowed to dance with who he really wanted to, and it just buried the knife a little deeper to watch him with other people, thinking one day he'd choose one of them to settle down with. Now that he knew that person was him and they could wear that love out in the open, he had no reason to deny him anything, least of all a dance partner. He smiled into the kiss, arms tightening gently around him. "I want that to be true every year for the rest of our lives."

Bucky knew that he had the sweetest husband, no matter what the man himself said. He could recognize the temperance in trying to take care of someone who didn't think they needed it. All he could do was support him in it, help do what they could, and he would always do that with him.

Every dance he'd had to share with other people had felt like claws in his heart, putting tiny little shreds through it. Every denial had been its own pain, forcing him to keep shoving down who he wanted. Everything was different now. He brought their joined hands close to brush his knuckles softly along Steve's jaw. "Every birthday I have with you will only get better. It means I've gotten more life with you, and that's all I ever want.'

They could argue about who was sweeter for the rest of their lives, except he never wanted to argue with Bucky. He was the one person Steve could never stand to fight with, especially now. He could flash those soft puppy eyes, and all the fight went out of him immediately. There was no instinct there but to love and protect.

He'd had plenty of time to look back on those years and learn to read them differently with what he knew now. He knew it hadn't been any easier for Bucky than it had been for him to love in silence. They couldn't change the past, but he could make sure they never had to hide anything again. He kissed him while they continued to sway to the music, humming softly against his lips. "Does that mean you don't want another present?" he teased gently. He had one more to give him, personal enough that he'd wanted to wait until it was just them.

Their life together now was all about each other, the love and support and protection growing more every day. Bucky was happy with their life and the way they got to live it together now. Some instincts would never go away, like watching Steve's back, but life was infinitely better now.

The dances in their home were proof of that. That soft kiss made his heart melt and his arm tightened gently around him. A quiet laugh escaped him at the teasing question. "That's a silly question. Of course I want another present," he smiled as he tipped his head to kiss him again.

Today was the perfect example of how much life had improved for them. Just being able to stand here right now, dancing with his husband in their kitchen on his birthday, was everything he'd ever wanted and never dared to even imagine. His imagination wasn't anywhere close to this kind to him, and he'd stopped expecting to wake up at any moment.

He smiled, happy to linger over those soft kisses as they swayed to the music. "After dancing," he promised softly, leading him into a slow turn. He never wanted them to miss out on anything. Even small moments like this weren't really small to them after a lifetime of not having them. Nothing felt trivial with Bucky. It all mattered.

No dreams could ever compare to their reality. Slow dances in the kitchen after family birthday parties were a perfect example of why he never wanted to lose this life they were building. There was nothing he wouldn't do to give Steve as much of this as possible.

That soft promise was everything he needed, pressing their heads together softly, "After dancing." Every moment like this was tucked away safely into memory, soothing over every bad memory that would never go away. He tipped his head to press his lips to his jaw gently as they danced.

He'd never known his heart could be so full and not kill him with these feelings. It was more good than he'd ever had, than he even knew what to do with sometimes, except keep holding on and trying to be worthy of it. As long as Bucky was this happy, he must be doing something right.

Steve tucked him in close again as they drifted to the music. These were some of his favorite moments with him, but he thought that about pretty much everything they did together. He ran his fingers gently through his hair, pressing a soft kiss there. "I love you, Buck. So much," he murmured.

Bucky was happy to simply hold on to all of the happy, to store it like a dragon hoarding gold. There was no way he could be this happy without Steve and he knew it. Every soft touch and kiss showed him just how loved he was, that Steve was equally as happy as he was. As long as that remained the case, that Steve was as happy as he was, Bucky would never be less than happy.

Pressing close as he could get felt like breathing, instinctive and necessary. His eyes fluttered shut at the gentle petting and it felt like the whole world slowed down. "I love you too, Steve," he whispered softly, lifting his head to kiss him soft and slow.

Steve would always be happy about getting to spend a life with him. It didn't really matter where they were or what they were doing, although this had significant advantages over fighting battles. It was nice not to constantly fear for his life. Bucky's life, obviously, since Steve had always played a little too fast and loose with his own.

His throat was tight with emotion as he tipped his head into those soft, lingering kisses. He didn't need to wonder why it had been exactly this situation when he asked Bucky to marry him. He'd have asked him again right now if they hadn't already made that official. Their song ended, and he reached over to choose another, not wanting to let him go just yet.

This had quickly become Bucky's preferred place for them to spend their life together. There was no fight, no battle to be won, no group that needed a leader for Steve to have to be. He'd spent most of their lives together worrying about Steve and the way he played fast and loose with his life like he had nothing to lose and everything to gain.

The night Steve had asked him to marry him was embedded in his memory and nothing in the world would get it out. There was no protest out of him at another song, since he was exactly where he was happiest: in Steve's arms. They'd been through too much, together and apart, to deprive themselves of something they both clearly lovedd.

Given the option, Steve wasn't sure he'd want to leave Sallow Hills anymore. He missed his friends and hoped they were okay, but he'd feel the same way about the Space Kids if they had to leave here. There was no ideal scenario anymore, no option in which he didn't lose something, but as long as Bucky was with him, he knew he could weather the rest. He'd lived without him long enough to know he wouldn't survive it again.

There were so many moments with Bucky that had been inked into his memory forever, but asking him to marry him and their first kiss stood out among the top contenders. Mostly, they blurred together into soft, happy moments like this one, a hundred kitchen dances, a thousand soft touches and kisses, and still he knew he'd always want more. He wrapped his arms around him, cheek resting against his hair, and murmured occasional soft lyrics into his ear.

All Bucky could do was hope that one day, the best parts of their lives could coexist in a way all of them would be happy with. He knew it was asking for a lot. But then, he and Steve had always defied the odds. Their marriage was proof of that all on its own. He couldn't survive a life without Steve now and he knew it.

He knew that he would never be able to forget that first kiss or the way that he'd proposed to him. He planned on thousands of kitchen dances if he had his way and there was no way he'd ever be able to keep his hands to himself. A soft, happy sigh escaped him as they were wrapped up together again. That soft voice in his ear made him shiver softly and just added to the soft, sweet bubble.

Steve didn't dare ask for anything more than this. It was already so far beyond his imagination that he got to marry his best friend. He felt guilty occasionally for not missing his old life more, but he'd always known what he needed to survive, and it was nothing he'd left behind. It had always been the man in his arms. Everything else would always be second place.

He wanted the dances and every other soft moment they could get, so many they outnumbered all the moments they'd spent hurting or apart, so many that the bad things faded like an old photograph and all that was left was their happy life together in stunning, vivid color. They'd made a good start of it. He pressed soft kisses to his hair, making no move to untangle them even when the song ended and the playlist kept going. They could stay like this as long as they wanted.

There wasn't really anything for Bucky to miss about life before Sallow Hills. Sure, he missed learning everything Suri had been teaching him, but there was plenty for him to learn without her. And at least here, he wasn't underfoot and it was all on his terms. He'd chosen it, actively, without being forced into it. Sure, he hadn't known he'd wind up trapped once he finally found Steve, but he would have chosen to stay with him regardless.

Bucky would do everything he could to add to the new memories, watching the old fade into the background like wallpaper being painted over. A soft, contented sigh was pressed into Steve's shoulder at those sweet kisses. They had all the time in the world, so they didn't have to stop dancing until there was something that they really wanted to do more. He would never turn down more sweet dances in their kitchen.

Steve had mostly stopped feeling guilty that he'd inadvertently gotten Bucky stuck here with him, but that was because he knew him so well, and the happiness was easy to read on him. He trusted that they were on the same page, that it didn't really matter where they were as long as they were together. They hadn't chosen to stay here, but the rest of the choices were theirs, and they made them together.

He'd stopped counting the songs before he finally slowed, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. "Present?" He smiled, sliding a hand into Bucky's and giving it a soft tug toward the stairs. The upstairs window was open to the cool night air, and it was easy to step out onto the roof for stargazing, as he'd discovered on a lot of sleepless nights.

He couldn't really think of a time since his arrival in Sallow Hills that he had been anything less than happy. Sure, some days his brain took over, but that happened with everyone he knew. Being here, being with Steve, and being able to make choices together and build their life was apparently everything he really needed.

A soft, curious hum escaped him when they finally slowed their dancing. Tipping his head to meet that kiss, it was impossible to feel anything but ridiculously happy. "Sure, present," he agreed, wrapping his hand around Steve's and following the gentle tug. He couldn't help but wonder just what he had gotten up to.

It had been a very long time since Steve had worked to make a birthday special for someone. They'd largely gone unnoticed since he came out of the ice, and he'd preferred them that way. He thought he might be a little rusty at it, but he knew Bucky would forgive him, and he hoped to get better with practice. Years and years of it, all the ones he wanted to spend together.

He sat carefully on the slope of the roof, staying close because he never really wanted to be far from him. "I'm out of practice, but I think it came out okay," he murmured, offering him a neatly wrapped rectangle. The last present was one he'd painted himself, an image of the two of them dancing in their kitchen on the night he'd asked Bucky to marry him. It came back easier than he thought it would once he started drawing again.

It was easier to ignore the special days when he hadn't had a reason to celebrate them. He didn't remember the last birthday he'd done anything about, let alone a birthday of his own. Having Steve, them being together, was enough for him to pay attention to them again. They had plenty of time to practice.

Bucky never wanted Steve far from him anymore, and he didn't care how codependent that was. They'd spent enough time apart. Taking the offered, wrapped rectangle, he blinked slightly at it. It was light, so he was careful as he unwrapped it. He wasn't prepared for the painting he uncovered and his throat tightened. "It's perfect," he finally managed to breathe out. Setting it carefully next to him, he shifted to push Steve down against the roof and proceed to kiss him senseless.

He wasn't sure he wanted to ignore the special days anymore. He wanted to celebrate their life together, and their life with the kids, in every way they could. Celebrating Bucky's birthday had been delightful, and he was betting planning for the kids' birthdays would be double that, since he wouldn't have to keep it a secret from him. Bucky was a lot better at that sort of thing than he was.

"Tied for best day of my life," he said softly. The other, obviously, was Bucky telling him he loved him for the first time. He could have spent a lifetime sketching every day they spent together though, all of them full of more happiness than he'd ever expected to have. His breath hitched as he pushed him back on the roof, hands sliding into his hair so he could return those kisses with happy abandon.

The special days now were something to enjoy, to fill with all the love they had manage to gather in their life. Already, his mind was going for what they could do for the kids, what he could wrangle the kids into helping him with for Steve's birthday. They had all the time in the world to keep making warm, happy memories.

It felt a little like he'd been punched, Steve making him feel dazed and off kilter, but in the best kind of way. Just knowing that Steve was happy enough to draw again made him feel warm, this was a whole different level. Feeling that his husband was just as happy as he was only added to the elation of it all. Sinking into those kisses was the easiest thing in the world.

Seeing Bucky absolutely dazed with happiness filled him with warmth and satisfaction, and it made his own happiness bubble up and spill over in a way he'd only recently become familiar with. He'd never known that before, too much happiness to contain. Drawing again was nice, something he'd missed about his old life, but it had nothing on the happiness that Bucky gave him. His whole world started and ended with him.

He couldn't help a soft, happy laugh even in the middle of their kiss. His hands slid to his waist, shifting him more securely on top of him and pulling him close. "I love you. More than anything," he murmured between kisses, feeling dazed and happy himself from the nearness of him. There was nothing strong enough in this town to get drunk on, but Bucky made him feel that way sometimes.

Feeling Steve laugh in the middle of their kisses was never going to fail to make him smile. The very fact that they were so comfortable and happy together to laugh and smile in the middle of kisses was so huge. A soft sound escaped him when Steve resituated him and he sank against him easily.

"I love you," the words were pressed against lips and into kisses as his hands slid under his shirt to tuck against skin. This was his favorite way to see Steve, happy and loved and absolutely punch-drunk from it. It only made his own that much better. "God, you're perfect," he nibbled lightly on his bottom lip before sliding them into a deep kiss.

This was everything to him, the happiness and the silliness along with the heat and the comfort. Bucky had always been able to make him laugh harder than anyone, and while he had no desire to go back to their pre-war days, he occasionally caught a glimmer of it, two Brooklyn boys sitting on a fire escape, laughing so hard they couldn't breathe.

It was that kiss that was stealing his breath now, the way he fit so easily against him, hands warm on skin. "No, that's you, sweetheart." His hands slid beneath his shirt, pressing him close as he sank into those kisses, everything in him warm and soft and bubbling with happiness and nearness of his favorite person.

There were times that were so much like they were before the world had been cruel to them. The soft happiness, the sound of his laughter filling the space around them making warmth bubble in his chest. He loved how freely the sound came now, especially when it was the two of them. They shifted so easily between happiness and silliness, heat, and comfort that he didn't want it to ever change.

He was always weak for Steve's hands on him, even as sweet and simple as just holding his hand. A soft sound escaped him into their kisses as he practically melted against him, so soft and pliant and deliriously happy. Nothing could beat the way that Steve made him feel, and especially not in a moment like this one.

Those were parts of himself and Bucky that he would have sworn they'd never get back, that had been eighty years in the grave, and yet here they were still discovering them in each other. He would have said it was blessedly normal, except he didn't think normal people got this much happiness. It didn't undo the lifetimes of trauma, but this one year together had finally given them both a chance to really heal.

Touching him was second nature now, and if they were in each other's orbit, the odds were they had a bit of physical contact to go with it. A year of having him hadn't dimmed the need to touch him even little, and he didn't think ten or a hundred years would either. "Sweetest man," he murmured against his lips, a hand sliding into his hair as their kisses turned slow and deep and sweet.

There was more happiness in moments like this than they'd had in years when they were younger. A life of trauma and separation, slowly healing and turning into something new and amazing. He had always wanted a life of happiness for Steve, had always figured it would happen with someone else. Being the main part of that life was the greatest thing of his.

It was impossible not to touch him when they were close, to be in his orbit and not sink into it. Wanting him, wanting to be close to him, that was never going to change. "That's you," he whispered softly into the kiss. "I love you." His hands slid further up his sides under his shirt to just soak up all of the heat of his skin.

He chuckled softly because nobody else in their right mind would call Steve sweet. He tried for kindness and didn't even always hit that mark, but the sweetness was mostly just for Bucky. He'd always been the sweet one, and he brought it out in him with that soft heart of his. "I love you too. So much," he whispered, kissing him again softly.

He couldn't help pressing gently into that touch, always wanting Bucky's hands on him. He settled one hand against the warm skin of his back, the other continuing its lazy path through his hair. "Good birthday?" He knew what happiness looked like on Bucky now, and he knew he was happy today, but he still wanted to hear about it.

Steve was sweeter than he gave himself credit for. Being full of 'fite me' and stubbornness didn't negate it, it just made it harder for some people to see. It wasn't hard to see that it was all because he cared if anyone bothered to take the time to know Steve Rogers. He gave him the space to be soft and sweet when he would have said the world had beat it out of him. Those words from his husband were never going to fail to make his heart feel full.

He loved feeling him pushing into his hands, knowing his touch was welcome and encouraged. Bucky wanted to purr under all the soft touches and he couldn't help but arch a little into those clever hands of his. "Best birthday," he said firmly, absolutely delighted with their day. "You're amazing."

Steve didn't care how other people saw him. He never really had, but he especially didn't now. He cared how things actually were, and there weren't a lot of people outside this room qualified to judge that. Bucky had always seen him, had always known him as he really was, with or without the shield or the serum.

He always wanted Bucky to be touching him, even just casually in public. Metal hand or flesh, he always knew when it was him. He wanted to chase those reactions and didn't really have a reason not to now that it was just them. "Best one I can remember too," he murmured with a soft smile. "I had plenty of help."

Bucky had always been the one to rage at people's stupidity when it came to Steve and his worth. He had always wanted him to be seen, even when he loved him in silence. Especially then, he supposed. He didn't mind being the person that knew Steve, inside and out, better than anyone else could, though.

A soft shiver went through him and he couldn't help but encourage that chasing. They'd been on their best behavior all day, after all. "You did. I can't wait for yours," he teased softly, knowing it was going to be even better.

Before the war, all he'd wanted was to help the way everyone else was helping. He'd gotten what he wanted and then some, even if it came with consequences he never could have guessed at, like a constant spotlight. He couldn't say he missed that part of it even a little in Sallow Hills. The most attention they got was the knitting club chattering about the handsome mechanic husbands. That was a point of minor fame Steve didn't mind a bit.

His hand tightened in his hair, tugging gently just to see him react. They'd been very self-controlled all day, and Steve was about at his limit for good behavior. It wasn't exactly one of his strengths to begin with. He knew better than to say he didn't need anything more for his birthday, even if it was true. He wouldn't deny his family that fun or pass up an opportunity to spend the time with them. "I have you. It'll already be the best birthday I've ever had," he said softly, tipping his head up to nibble gently on his bottom lip.

***

No one could have been prepared for what Steve's life had turned into once he took the serum. He'd wanted to help people, had only ever had the most genuine intention to be helpful. How was he not supposed to have been insanely in love with him? Now, being the handsome mechanic husbands was a badge of honor he liked wearing, a reason he liked to be known.

His eyes darkened slightly at that gentle tug, a soft sound escaping him because he couldn't hide the way he reacted to Steve. He was really, really done with being good for the day. "It will be, I'll make sure of it," he murmured. The needy, pleading sound he made at that nibble was nothing he could have stopped. Not with Steve's hands in his hair, being stretched over him. "I want one more thing for my birthday," he murmured, dark and playful as he tipped his head to nibble lightly at his jaw.

Steve had made all his own choices, even if he couldn't begin to imagine where some of them would take him. He'd chosen to join the army, to take the serum, to crash the Valkyrie, to find Bucky and bring down S.H.I.E.L.D, to stand with his best friend against his other friends. Not everyone had even that much, present company included, so he'd never complain about it. Besides, it brought him here.

He loved watching those eyes darken to storm clouds, whether it was with anger or heat, although this was preferable. It tested every bit of his self-control to hear him like that, his hand sliding further along his back. He gave in to the need to stop pretending this was going anywhere else and wrapped his legs around his waist, arching a little into him. His breath hitched softly at the press of teeth, fingers tightening in his hair. "Anything you want."

He couldn't bring himself to say anything against most of Steve's choices. Even crashing the Valkyrie he couldn't say much against because, if their roles had been reversed, it would have been the call he'd make too. His choice had always been Steve. Now, being able to choose each other, to choose to build a life, it was worth everything.

He wanted his self-control tested. Really, he wanted the strings of it to snap, and he'd gotten very good at that over the last year. When he arched, his hands slid under him to press against his back and hold him in that arch. One hand slid lower, tucking his fingers under the band of fabric in his way and he nibbled on his skin again, addicted to the taste of him. "I want to take you to bed," he murmured against his neck, "and not sleep for a few hours."

They didn't always agree on everything, but Steve felt they always understood each other. It was hard to be angry when he knew exactly where Bucky was coming from, and it was always a place of love and protection. And damn if they didn't present a united, immovable front to other people whether they agreed or not. It was a level of loyalty he'd never had with anyone else. They always chose each other, even well before they were married.

He was perfectly willing to surrender that control to Bucky, knowing he was always safe with him, the only person in the world he trusted like that. He was doing a good job of it already, his mind already starting to haze over. He made a soft, needy sound at the hands on him, every bit a promise for the near future. "I'm all yours, sweetheart," he whispered, pressing soft kisses against his hair.

The corner of his mouth twitched up, and he gave a playful tug at his hair. "Let's get off this roof before we fall off." He trusted their strength and instincts, but he also knew how well Bucky could short-circuit his thinking. They'd both survive a fall like that and higher, but it wasn't how he wanted to spend the night.

Time had made them better at talking through their disagreements. They knew where each other would come from when they approached a problem. He would never undercut him in front of someone else, but he'd never stay silent when it was just them, and he knew that the same went for Steve. The loyalty and love built between them was strong, built on the toughest of foundations.

He loved watching Steve's mind go hazy and his eyes blur, hearing the sounds that tumbled out of him that were all his. He hoarded them greedily, a dragon with its favorite treasure. It was all too easy to be tempted by him, those beautiful blue eyes and well kissed lips. It made him want to truly make him look rumpled in the best ways.

Even knowing he could lock down the arm and their risk of falling was minimal, it wasn't what he wanted for them. Shifting back, he offered Steve his hand so they could make their way back inside. As soon as they were both in, he turned to crowd him against the wall, kissing him slow and hungry.

#chat: bucky #vvhite-vvolf #cause you waited your whole life

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vvolfstare · 2 years ago

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anywhere else is hollow | stucky (cont. from this thread)

@vvhite-vvolf

tw: discussion of canon-typical triggers, some kisses and thots, but mostly cuddles and blanket fort fluff

The soft kisses made him hum happily and be glad that Steve loved these moments as much as he did. He would never be able to get enough of him, his touches and kisses. He almost wanted to pout when he pulled away, even though breakfast was waiting for them. Steve made it almost impossible not to give in to him at every turn, and he liked it that way.

Seeing that smile on his face and knowing he was responsible for putting it there always filled his chest with warmth and love. This was what it felt like to be so totally loved that everything else paled in comparison. When he was shifted, he settled comfortably between his legs and scooted down so his head rested on his chest. Being cuddled through a meal was a favorite thing for him, he could admit. Settling his plate, he ate with one hand, the other running an idle path along his thigh purely for the contact of it.

Steve could probably spend the rest of his life tucked into Bucky's pocket if that were socially acceptable. They already pushed the limits of codependency by living and working together, but after a century of longing, he wasn't going to apologize for it. His purpose now was to make sure his husband was as happy as possible, and they were happiest when they were together. Nobody else got an opinion on it.

He curled his free arm around his waist, pressing soft kisses into his hair. When it was just them, he liked cuddling through mealtimes too. It was relaxing and cozy, and the blanket fort just reinforced the impression. It felt like being tucked away into their own soft, fluffy world. While Steve's progress with cooking was halting, Bucky had started out good and only gotten better, and he gave a happy hum at the first bite.

These days, Bucky didn't really give a shit about what was socially acceptable and what wasn't when it came to his marriage. They'd spent the better part of a hundred years being forced apart in one way or another. Social convention could, quite bluntly, go fuck itself. Making Steve happy was the most important thing he did every day, and he knew that Steve thought the same thing when it came to him. What they had worked well for them, helped heal lifetimes of traumas, and just made them happy (disgustingly so).

Those soft kisses pulled a happy sound from him, his hand sliding up behind him to brush over the back of Steve's hair affectionately. He had hoped that Steve would like the blanket fort for that very reason: it was their own, all around soft little world that no one else could mess with. Hearing the happiness from him at the food made that warmth blossom in his chest again, satisfaction at taking care of Steve flaring. "There's even a snack stash in here," he admitted with a chuckle.

Disgustingly happy sounded like just the thing for them these days, and the rest of their lives if they could manage it. Coming off a lifetime of having to hide their feelings, Steve was pretty adamant about not putting either of them in that situation ever again. It made him happier than he could say to live in a world where he could hold hands with his husband in line for coffee or kiss him goodbye at work.

Steve liked everything that Bucky did. Literally, the man could do no wrong. He knew it was less about Bucky being perfect and more about Steve being sick in love with him. He knew he wasn't perfect; it was just that none of the flaws bothered him. Making a fort out of their living room was just flat-out adorable. "Of course there is," he chuckled softly, his gaze shifting around in a more assessing way to see if he could find it.

Bucky knew that they were both stupidly in love with one another. It didn't create blinders, not really. They both knew each other's faults and quirks as much as they knew each other's strengths. But after lifetimes of being kept apart, they didn't matter more than being able to finally be together and revel in it. If it made them happy, there'd really never be a protest, potentially not even questions if it really wasn't a bother.

He laughed softly when he could feel him looking around more seriously. "If you can find it, you get first snack and movie pick," he told him, a thread of mischief making its way into the soft happiness. Little things like this, soft and silly moments, were worth everything to him these days.

He hummed thoughtfully, always one to enjoy a challenge, even a small, silly one. "High stakes. I'll have to think about it. But I think the real prize is already in my arms," he murmured playfully, nuzzling gently at his neck. He put most of his attention on finishing up breakfast, but he was still assessing the options.

When they'd pushed aside their plates, he leaned back a little, tapping one of the throw pillows on the couch behind them. If memory served, they weren't exactly where they'd been this morning. He couldn't really turn off the tactical brain, even if the most difficult things it had to do lately were repair engines and locate snacks.

"The highest," he teased and tried not to turn to absolute mush (failed, but tried). He couldn't let himself vocalize it, or breakfast would never get finished and he knew it because it would be entirely his fault. It took far more focus than it should have to finish his food, honestly, but he didn't think a soul alive would blame him.

Laughing when he tapped the pillows, he reached over to move it again. A basket of snacks was tucked under it and partially into the cushions. It was the silliest use of training and skills ever, but he liked that about it. He turned to straddle his lap with a soft laugh, kissing him softly.

Steve wasn't fooled for a moment, with or without the commentary. They knew each other too well for that. He brushed a soft kiss against his neck and put his attention on finishing his breakfast before one or both of them got seriously off track. He wasn't even trying to derail him that time, and he sort of loved the way it happened when they were just being themselves.

There were few things he loved more than Bucky's laughter, bright and carefree like that. He knew his smile was the dopey lovesick one when he turned in his lap. He slid a hand over his thigh to tuck him in close, the other wrapping in a loose strand if his hair. "Thank you for breakfast, baby. It was perfect," he murmured, tipping his head into those soft kisses.

The look on his face when he settled properly over his lap made him glad he'd made that choice. It never failed to make him ridiculously happy to see that particular smile on his husband's face. Feeling his hand sliding along his thigh made him hum softly, the muscles bunching in response before he relaxed against him entirely. "You're welcome."

Running his hands over his chest, he slid them through his beard and into his hair. He was sorely tempted to distraction from the original plan, not that there was much of one, or that Steve was a distraction. Really, he was always his main focus and everything else was a temporary distraction from him. "You should pick your movie," he murmured against his lips, brushing over them softly one more time before forcing himself to sit back.

A soft shiver ran through him at the feeling of muscles bunching under his hand, and he squeezed gently. Bucky's body would never not take his breath away. He was all broad lines and corded muscle and frankly the most beautiful person he'd ever seen. As impossible as it seemed, he was even more beautiful on the inside. It was a devastating combination.

His arms wrapped around him when he relaxed against him, face snuggling into his hair. He was down for whatever Bucky had planned for the day, but the odds they'd keep their clothes on for all of it were practically nothing. He needed this too though, the softness and the cuddling and Bucky's body warm against his.

He tightened the arm around his waist so he wouldn't go far and reached for the remote with his other hand. He settled on an old black and white sci-fi one that they both liked, not in the mood for anything new to them or noisy when they were already so cozy. Wrapping that arm back around him, he tugged him gently back against him. He didn't care what they watched, as long as there was more of this.

Bucky wasn't sure he'd ever stop being amazed by the way Steve looked at him. He was the most beautiful person in his world, always had been. He'd been in love with him long before the serum had changed the body to match the heart. Being able to curl up against him, to be held and know he was safe, loved, and protected was the best thing.

He liked being cuddled, a supersoldier blanket and teddy bear all in one. Their hands would eventually wander, that love needing a different outlet eventually, but for now this was perfect. They needed this in equal measure, the softness that they had managed to build into their lives.

He never would have shifted far, too happy right where he was and knowing he was more than welcome to stay. The choice of movie made him smile softly as he tucked his head against his shoulder. Wrapping his arms around him, his hands slid just under the back of his shirt to press against warm skin as their legs tangled together. He could stay exactly like that for hours and be completely happy.

Steve had always been looking at him that way. It was just that he was allowed to wear it out in the open now. He looked at Bucky like he was the center of the world, and he was. Steve's world. He never wanted cause to hide that again. He knew Bucky of all people didn't care about the aesthetics. Now that he knew what that expression meant, he knew Buck had always looked at him the same way, before or after the serum. The way he treated him had never changed.

He knew exactly how much Bucky loved cuddles and hair pets and all that soft affection, and Steve needed him close just as much. It was a constant physical reminder that they were both safe and happy and cared for. He smiled as Bucky sank against him, their legs twining together. He pressed soft kisses to his hair, fingers running a slow path through it.

There was never going to be anything better or more important in his world than Steve. They never had to hide the way they felt again and that was a gift all their own. Even if they were no longer in Sallow Hills, it wouldn't matter. He was glad that Steve knew he'd always looked at him the same way, that he'd always just stayed Steve to him and always would.

He remembered the days and months and years of skittishness, of that inability to touch or be touched. Being able to do this now felt like nothing short of a miracle. He was still careful with touching other people, but with his chosen family, he was much more free. A soft, content hum escaped him and he cuddled down into him.

Sallow Hills happened to be the place where they made their confessions. Steve would always be grateful for that, and for the family, and for giving them a space where they could just be Steve and Bucky. It wasn't the reason they were together. Whatever happened next, they took this with them. He was never going back on it. That was one of the benefits of being married. He got to keep Bucky forever, whether they ended up back in their own world or not.

He'd noticed the way Bucky kept his distance from most people, and it had never bothered him. He'd more than earned the right to be nervous, and Steve wasn't that big on physical contact with others himself. He was just glad he felt safe enough with him to do this, to let himself be held and cared for. The relaxed lines of his body and the soft, content hum told him all he needed to know. "Love of my life," he murmured into his hair, keeping up the soft pets.

Times like these were among his favorite, where everything was soft and quiet and there was no world beyond the two of them. It had always been easy for them to make a bubble of a world all their own, even before they admitted they loved each other. Nights on Brooklyn fire escapes, early mornings in Army camps, all of their little projects on the house. Each one a bubble, a happy memory.

Bucky trusted Steve with everything, every part of who he was. He would protect every bit of softness and keep it only for his family, and he knew that it was okay for him to do it. Slowly, he tipped his head to brush his lips along his jaw. "Love of mine," he said softly against his skin, shifting up a little higher on him.

Bucky had almost literally created their own quiet bubble-world for them with the blanket fort. He liked it more the longer they stayed there, tucked away with soft blankets and soft lighting and his favorite person. Steve wasn't sure he could be persuaded to leave today, and tomorrow wasn't looking good either. He wanted to stay hidden away with him for a little while longer.

Even though he trusted that Bucky loved him by now, his breath still hitched softly at the words. He would never understand how it could be true that the person he loved most loved him like that. His fingers ran gently through his hair, his arm re-tightening around him as he shifted higher. "How'd I get so lucky?" he murmured, lips brushing against his hair.

There was nothing saying they had to get rid of their little bubble-world any time soon if they didn't want to. There was something to be said for the soft silence of it, literally wrapped in all things comforting and soft for them to escape in. If they decided not to fully budge from it for a few days, they could do that. Bucky would always be happier hidden away with Steve where nothing in the world could touch them that they didn't explicitly invite.

As much as he loved knowing that he was responsible for making Steve's breath hitch, he hated that he still occasionally struggled with how it could be true. Bucky had loved Steve for most of his life and couldn't imagine it any other way. "You got your ass kicked in an alley in the 1920s, baby," he teased quietly, "The rest is, quite literally, history."

It was a new thing for both of them, having the freedom to just decide how they spent their days. Work at the garage was adequate to keep them comfortable without taking over their lives, and aside from a handful of friends and family, they had no other commitments in town. They might technically be trapped here, but it was more freedom than they'd had in a long time.

It was still hard for him to imagine Bucky loving him back for all that time. Hell, he'd have trouble imaging it now if he wasn't right there reminding him day after day. He laughed softly, sliding a hand against the warm skin of his back beneath his shirt. "Good thing you've got a bit of a hero complex," he teased back, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his jaw. Bucky had always been the hero of his stories.

Most of the time, Bucky didn't even feel like they were trapped here. They had a wonderful life and everything they'd ever really wanted right in Sallow Hills: a life with each other. Bucky knew that Steve missed a few people, especially Sam and Natasha, and having them here would be about the only thing that he would change. Getting to just live was something special, he thought.

He would have to be dead twice over to not love Steve. All of the best parts of life were with him. His breath hitched lightly at that soft brush of his hand, always affected by him even in their softest moments. "Someone had to back you up, baby," he murmured softly, tipping his head into that kiss with a soft, fond smile.

Steve knew he could happily settle down with Bucky in Sallow Hills for the rest of their lives. He wasn't going to waste any more time with him regretting what they couldn't have. It was easier knowing he'd already walked away from life as he knew it before he'd ever set foot in Sallow Hills. Either way, Captain America was over, and he had to figure out what was next. He'd never imagined it would be this sweet.

His hand drifted slow and soothing, and he kept the soft kisses against his skin. likewise. He was enjoying their relaxed little bubble too much to try to wind him up right now, although knowing them, it would happen eventually. "I don't remember anyone else volunteering for the job," he murmured, not the least bit sorry about it. It had been the two of them against the world for so long.

Bucky liked the idea of a life where they didn't have to be Captain America or the Winter Soldier. No one cared about those heroes here, no one needed them here. They could just be the Rogers, and figure out exactly what that came with. So far, he liked the picture they were building together and couldn't wait to see how it grew.

Relaxing under those soft touches and kisses, he simply sank against him. He never minded when the tone changed and the heat took over, but there was joy and love in the softness too that they both appreciated. "I think you'd'a punched anyone else that tried, punk," he murmured playfully. He'd never change it for the world, loving how it had been the two of them.

Steve never thought he'd be so glad not to be needed by anyone but his family. All he'd wanted when the war started was to be useful, to help the way everyone else was helping. He'd never imagined that even once the war ended, he wouldn't leave it. He'd never meant to stay in it forever. Apparently, it took getting trapped in a small, weird town to force him to retire.

Bucky feeling comfortable enough to just melt against him was one of his favorite things. His fingers traced a slow, soothing path along his spine. "You saying I was sweet on you even back then?" His tone was teasing, but it was the goddamn truth, and Bucky probably knew it. Steve could barely remember a time he hadn't been in love with his best friend.

Bucky knew that Steve had never been good at being idle, at being adrift. The fight had given him something of a purpose, he supposed, but it took other parts away. If a small, weird town was what it took, he would always be grateful to it.

Slow heat trailed with his fingers, but nothing that was insistent on being chased, just enough to drift on. "I'm saying you never let people help you back then," he pointed out with a little teasing laughter in his voice. "Were you sweet on me back then?" The question was sweetly curious as he tipped his head to look at him properly.

There were all kinds of ways to find purpose, and Steve understood that better now. He'd done the important things, fought the fights he could fight, saved the lives he could save, and now he was focused on his and Bucky's lives. Making a home together, building their relationships with the kids, and making his husband happy were purpose enough for him. He was even learning to enjoy the idleness when it looked like this.

He chuckled softly, unable to deny the point. He struggled with letting people help him now, and he'd been even worse back then. "No question, baby," he murmured, thumb brushing over his cheekbone, his gaze filled with a century of love. "I don't really remember a time I didn't love you. You were the hero in my stories from the day we met." It wasn't hard to see why, Bucky pulling his ass out of the fire from day one and brightening each one after that. All of Steve's best memories were with him.

Steve was slowly getting better at letting people help him. It got better as their relationships with other people did, and his favorite to watch was the kids. They were building a life that allowed for that, for the softness that they had never been allowed before. He liked their idle times more and more, especially as they came in the form of times like this.

The look on his face made his heart stutter and his breath catch. It didn't matter how often he looked at him that way, he didn't think it would ever stop affecting him that way. His fingers slid to wrap gently around his wrist, turning his face to press a kiss to his palm. "I love you, Steve. Always have." He had never thought of himself as a hero, but he knew he'd always protect Steve. It was one thing that had never and would never change.

Steve had always wanted to look at him like that. Being able to let everything he felt for Bucky show on his face, and knowing that he saw it and understood, was just one more perfect piece of their life together now. He'd hidden it for so long, and having no secrets between them now was like being able to breathe easily for the first time in his life.

"Always have," he agreed softly, running his fingers through the soft strands of his hair. He knew Bucky didn't agree, and that was fine. There were still things they were working through, and there probably always would be. Trauma was persistent like that. There were so many more good days than bad ones though, and the bad ones were fewer all the time.

"Ever think we'd be married with kids within a year?" he chuckled, thinking back to Bucky first arriving in Sallow Hills. It seemed like forever and like yesterday. Steve had never once imagined his life being this good. Rey wanting to take their name had hit him hard. He'd already thought of her as a daughter, but seeing it on paper, hearing her introduce herself that way, it felt even more real. His heart could hardly take it.

For the first time, it felt like he was exactly who he was supposed to be. Sure, trauma and history had shaped him, but in their life together, it didn't have a place and it didn't define him. They were finding the best versions of themselves and doing it together. There was very little that could be better than that.

A soft, happy sound escaped him and he tipped his head further into his hand. Working through their traumas together was always going to be worth their life they were building. Healing wasn't linear, and often it was murky and hard, and he knew that it was never-ending. They'd been through too much to believe otherwise.

Soft laughter escaped him and he shook his head, "Never. And especially not adult kids." Though kid kids were more terrifying to consider, he would admit. The idea was nice, in theory, but there was still a lot more healing needed for that. "I love our kids," he admitted. Having seen Rey's name on paper had felt like the best kind of gut punch.

It was the first time he could remember since coming out of the ice that Steve didn't feel the past weighing heavily on his shoulders. They would always have a history, and it made their love that much deeper, but he didn't feel the need to drag it around with him anymore. His thoughts were far more often on the present now, on the life they were building together and the little day to day joys of being with his family.

His hand slid through his hair, always happy to give him all the pets he wanted. "Do you think about having little kids?" It wasn't a thing Steve had thought about in a lot of depth, at least not for himself, but it had crossed his mind from time to time, usually when he was watching Bucky with the Space Kids or feeding the strays. He wasn't an idiot, and he could see that softness growing in him day by day. If Bucky didn't want them now, Steve thought he would eventually.

"Me too," he said, soft and happy. He didn't hesitate over the words my daughter anymore, or trouble himself to explain the found family aspect of it. Rey had chosen them, and they'd chosen her back, and that was all there was to it in his mind. It didn't matter if they hadn't raised her. They were there to fill that role now, for her and Finn both.

He was more than happy to sink into all of the soft affection and the pets that he was offered. The question made him go still, carefully so, but it lacked the edge that came with the need to flee. They had always been good at knowing what the other was thinking, but he'd never expected Steve to actually ask him that particular question. He swallowed lightly and relaxed against him again.

"Sometimes," he admitted quietly, "It felt impossible for the longest time, but..." He trailed off and rolled a single shoulder in a shrug. He'd started letting himself think about what their kids would be like if they brought in someone younger for them all to love and take care of. "You're already a good dad." An amazing one, really, and seeing him that way never failed to make him soft.

He brushed his hand along his side in understanding, a small smile on his face. He loved listening to Steve talk about Rey, telling anyone about her. She was his, full stop, and neither of them felt the need to explain that she wasn't theirs biologically or through raising. Same went for Finn, who was no less theirs than Rey.

It was impossible to miss that sudden stillness, and his hand slid warm and soothing over his back, letting him know that it was safe. Any answer was okay with him, and he wouldn't have asked if he wasn't ready to hear it. That was how Steve felt these days, that everything between them was safe, no topic frightening because he trusted they'd always come together over anything.

"It felt impossible to me too," he murmured, tipping his head to press a kiss to his shoulder. Steve wasn't sure he'd ever thought seriously about being married or having a family. It was just what people did back then, assuming he lived that long. They had room to make those choices now, whatever ones they thought were best for them, and all the time they wanted to think about them.

"I'm alright. You've got the real knack for it," he chuckled softly. Part of his hangup with the Space Kids had been that they were, in fact, fully grown adults. It had taken time for him to realize that didn't really change the nature of the relationship. They'd still chosen him and Bucky as their parents, and that was that. It was highly unlikely he'd have been able to hold back from an actual kid. Steve was nowhere near that hard-hearted, and kids were easy to love.

He knew that he could say anything that was the truth and Steve would be okay with it. They were safe with each other, safer than they had ever been, to match that ridiculous happiness. They'd fight at each others' sides, if they had to fight again, but he couldn't imagine a thing that would make them fight each other.

"Do you want them?" The question was soft, a little unsure, even as he knew it didn't make or break a single thing about their relationship. It wasn't a life either of them had considered in a very long time, if ever. Their lives now allowed for things like that, like the choice of actual children if they wanted them, just like it allowed for them to be married, or have their name taken by adults who loved them like parents.

He laughed quietly and shook his head at him in amusement. "I don't know about that." He had been lucky, finding the ways he could connect with their Space Kids that drew them close. He wouldn't have tried if it hadn't been for Steve.

Steve would always fight for the right cause, but he'd learned there was so much more to life than that. It was a different kind of fighting now, learning to make space for himself and Bucky and their family against the other things that demanded their time and attention. It wasn't that hard in Sallow Hills, where the catastrophes were all relatively small scale, but he worried occasionally about how it would translate in the outside world if they ever left.

His hands stayed soft and reassuring on him. He never wanted to give Bucky a reason to be uncertain of him, and he wouldn't have asked the question if he couldn't stand to answer it himself. "Not right now. I'm selfish, and I want more time with just you. But maybe. Eventually." Even a maybe was a big deal when he thought he'd given up on that kind of life forever. He tipped his head, nibbling gently at the corner of his jaw and kissing over it to soothe the spot. "You make me feel like everything is possible," he murmured.

He didn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about what life would be like if they left Sallow Hills. Bucky was at the point where he didn't want to if he didn't have to, even if they could. He was tired of starting over, and for the first time, his life was built entirely by his choice. It had been his choice to come looking for Steve. He'd told him he loved him, married him, built a family. The world at large and its catastrophes could, quite frankly, go fuck itself.

A soft laugh escaped him and he couldn't help but agree. "Oh no, trust me. Not right now. I like having years of just us." He didn't want to share, not yet, not while everything still had moments it felt impossible and like a dream. He was happy with the future possible maybe because that was a thing for later them.

His breath hitched at the press of teeth and lips, his hands tightening gently where he was holding him. "Baby, we've managed to find each other time and time again for a century. I think it is," he said softly, tipping his head to catch his lips in a soft kiss.

Steve felt guilty occasionally that he didn't think more about his friends outside the barrier, but the truth was that he couldn't do anything about it even if he did. His life was here now, his husband, their family, their friends. He'd like to check in with Sam and Natasha, but given the option, he knew he wouldn't leave unless they were all going together. He'd love to be able to show the Space Kids around New York City someday, but it was just a pleasant fantasy. The reality was here in his arms, and it mattered more than any of that.

"Glad you're not sick of me yet." He smiled, pressing soft kisses into his hair. It made him feel less selfish that Bucky wanted more of just the two of them too--one of the benefits of adopting children who were already adults. They'd been apart for so long, and he wasn't ready to share him that much just yet. "It is," he whispered, tipping his forehead to his, his fingers tangling in his hair as he kissed him softly. "We'll always find each other, Buck. On any planet. In every universe."

He wished there was a way to give them all of it, to keep the life they'd built here while allowing Steve to have access to Sam and Natasha. But he was selfish enough to keep their life that he was content to not even try. Humming softly at the kisses, he snuggled close. "I never could be," he murmured softly. In no world, no universe, could he ever be sick of Steve.

They hadn't had near enough time together to just be them, to build that happy, solid foundation so deep that it was immovable. Their foundation would always be strong and unshakeable, but he wanted this for them after so long of not getting it. He pushed up lightly into that kiss, sinking into it and the love in it. "Always," he promised, because he couldn't imagine letting it be any other way.

Steve loved Sam and Nat. He hoped wherever they were, they were safe and happy, but he also knew they didn't need him for that. If it came down to a choice between his old life or this one, there was no choice. He'd always chosen Bucky over everything. He would never leave him, and he'd never abandon their kids. Really, it was best if everyone just stayed here in weirdo Wales because the alternative was to figure out space travel and search the galaxy for them if they all got scattered again.

"That would have happened a long time ago if it was going to." He pressed a smile into his hair. Why Bucky had decided to put up with him back then and continued to do so for a century, he'd never understand, but he was glad he did. He knew that as long as they lived, he would always want more time with Bucky. The years apart put a sharper edge on it, but it would have been true no matter what. He lingered on those soft, sweet kisses, always happy for an excuse to hold him and kiss him, a seal on the promise they'd made before they ever put words to it.

If anyone could figure out space travel through sheer stubbornness, luck, and a teensy bit of skill, it would be the Rogers men. If they lost their kids to the depths of space, to them being sent back to their home, nothing would stop them. In theory, they had very long lives ahead of them to look as it was.

"Exactly, baby," he agreed with an easy, softly happy smile. There was no one else quite so worth it to him, to stand by through hell and worse. He loved feeling the warmth and love bubbling up in his chest as they kissed, knowing how hard won these moments were. His hands slid along his sides and he nibbled playfully on his bottom lip. "You make me happy."

Steve had never thought much about space travel even after he met people from other planets. Science fiction was much more Bucky's territory. But there were few lengths he wouldn't go to for his family, and he could easily picture traveling galaxies with Bucky to try to find the people they loved. Fortunately, they had some very smart and magical friends who could probably help.

He didn't think he'd ever be able to take a single moment with Bucky for granted. Each one felt like an impossibly lovely gift, even after a year together. He didn't see that ever fading, not after how long they'd waited for each other or how deep those feelings went. He arched gently under those hands, his smile widening bright and happy. "You make me happy. Nice how that works out."

There were still moments where he could hardly believe this was how his life had turned out. A year before, if you had told him he'd marry the person he loved, he'd have laughed and said impossible. He'd been silent a hundred years, he would have done it a hundred more, longer even, just to stay in his orbit.

The sight of that smile was worth everything that happened, so brilliantly happy. It made his heart stutter and his throat tighten to know he made him look that way. "Jesus, Steve, you're beautiful," the whisper was awestruck and dopey with love in reaction.

Steve had never in his life been more grateful that Bucky had a temper to rival his own. If he hadn't snapped that day in the kitchen, they might have gone on being silent and stupid for the rest of their lives, and this? This wasn't something Steve ever wanted to miss. He'd never had anything so good before and knew nothing else would ever compare to it.

That absolutely gobsmacked expression made his chest tight and his heart stutter. He looked the way Steve felt sometimes, like he flat out couldn't believe this could belong to him. His own face softened at the words, and he raised his hands to cup that beloved face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. "You are. The best damn thing I've ever seen, always. God, I love you, Buck."

The world at large wouldn't have believed that Bucky's temper could outweigh Steve's once it was set off. Thank God for it. That first kiss, in pure temper and love, echoed in his mind all the time and he wouldn't change it for the world.

His hands tightened gently around his ridiculously small waist as his face tipped into that gentle hold. He swallowed lightly, drowning in love in the best way. "Line's never gonna end," he murmured softly as he tipped his head to kiss him again. "I love you," he murmured before sliding them into an unhurried, deep kiss.

He loved that look on his face, absolutely wrecked with love, and knew it was mirrored in his own expression. "There's no end to our story," he agreed softly, pressing into those sweet kisses. They'd always promised 'til the end of the line, but Steve didn't believe there was an ending anymore. This love had lasted a century. Death couldn't touch it. If there was an afterlife, it would survive there too.

He made a soft sound as he deepened the kiss, hands sliding into his hair. He wanted nothing more than to sink into him and those kisses, the movie and the outside world forgotten, and it was a bright flare of happiness that there was no reason they couldn't, the world finally stepping aside and giving them the time they wanted together.

There was nothing he believed could keep them apart now. Ice and war and magic and everything in between hadn't managed it. Books had all the stories of the greatest loves of all time. He was lucky. He didn't have to read it in a book. He was living in one.

A soft groan escaped him into their kiss when Steve's hands slid into his hair. He was content to forget about everything else. They were allowed to do that now, to just focus on each other and what they wanted. Pulling back just a bit from the kiss, his hands wrapped around his hips and tugged him so they were laying down entirely. "So sweet for me," he murmured softly before kissing him again.

Bucky had always been the love of his life, even when he thought it would never happen. Without meaning to, he held everyone up to his standard. It was no surprise that no one else had ever come close. Steve knew he wasn't a perfect person, no one was, but he was perfect for him. They finally lived in a place where people appreciated Bucky for exactly who he was.

His heart sped at that soft groan, and as always, he wanted to hold him closer when they couldn't get any closer. He huffed a quiet laugh, letting himself be tugged down, and twined their legs together, his hand running soft through his hair. "Pretty sure you're the sweetest Rogers," he murmured, unable to resist chasing his lips for more.

Even now, being as accepted as he was, he knew that the only person he needed to accept and appreciate him was Steve. He showed him that in the way he loved him every single day they had together. It was hard for anyone to ever come close to Steve in his mind when he'd held that spot for a century.

He loved being able to make Steve laugh and smile the way he did. Every one still felt like a victory. He liked the way they automatically wrapped together, always wanting to be close. A soft laugh escaped him and he happily met that chase with another kiss, slower and deeper this time just because he could.

#chat: bucky #vvhite-vvolf #anywhere else is hollow

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vvolfstare · 3 years ago

Text

grownup christmas list | stucky

@vvhite-vvolf

pure christmas fluff. canon-typical triggers, but nothing specific. lots of kissing and some thots but nothing graphically nsfw.

Memories of Christmas were soft and fuzzed around the edges, like all the old pictures that had survived of their childhoods only to be shoved into museums. Now, there was a softness, a sweetness to the idea of the holiday that he hadn't been able to shake. This warmth and giddiness had been building in his chest as he had watched the town around them slowly start to change, festive touches popping up.

Laughing, he had wrapped himself in warm layers and tugged a warm beanie over Steve's ears after ushering him to do the same. "I want a Christmas tree, Steve, a real one," had been his explanation with a soft kiss before dragging him out into the cold. He'd found a ridiculous amount of ornaments that he had no where to put, and that just wouldn't do. Even if they looked so shiny, so bright, there was something missing that he couldn't quite place. It didn't stop the excitement as he pulled Steve to the Christmas tree lot.

Steve had always loved Christmas, but he'd largely ignored the holidays since he came out of the ice. It only mattered if there was family to share it with, and while he cared for the Avengers a lot, they weren't that kind of family. Everything was different with Bucky here. He made everything brighter and sweeter, and Steve could practically feel the excitement bubbling in him as the weather turned colder and the town prepared for the holiday season. Getting to spend Christmas with him was the best gift he could have asked for.

He let his partner usher him into a jacket and a hat with a soft laugh, willing to go along with whatever he was up to today, or any day. His heart melted a little at the explanation. "A real tree sounds perfect, baby," he agreed, like he wouldn't let him drag a whole forest into their house if he wanted to. The smell of pine on the lot brought back warm memories, and he gave Bucky's hand a soft squeeze in love and gratitude. If he wanted holiday decorations, Steve was all in on it. "Let's find a big one for the living room."

He was making plans for the best Christmas he could give Steve this year. It was the first holiday they were getting to just celebrate, no holds barred. A brilliant smile spread over his face at Steve’s agreement, happy that he seemed to enjoy the idea of it too. He knew there wasn’t a lot that he would be told no about, but he still wanted them to make most of their decisions together.

His smile turned soft at the gentle squeeze and he leaned over to brush his lips over his cheek. “Yes! Big and fluffy,” he chuckled, the idea of decorating and relaxing with Steve better than most anything else. “Maybe we can get a smaller one to put somewhere else too?” That was it. “We can make ornaments and popcorn strings,” like they used to, before everything.

Steve would fight wars to put that smile on his face. He was only just realizing how much Christmas meant to Bucky, but now that he did, he'd make sure they had a beautiful, happy one together. He couldn't help a soft laugh at the description. "I hate to break it to you, Buck. But I don't think all your decorations are going to fit on one tree. Even a big, fluffy one," he teased gently. He should have realized when he brought them home, but Steve admittedly missed the obvious sometimes. He was on board now.

His heart went soft at the idea of making decorations together. All his best Christmases had Bucky there doing exactly that, making the most out of what they had, even if some years that wasn't much. It would mean more to him than anything they could buy. "I'd love that," he murmured, pulling him close and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. "We can put a tree in every room of the house if you want."

He couldn’t help but laugh and give him a sheepish shrug at his teasing. “The boxes hold more than it looks like they do,” he admitted. Not that he was in any way heartbroken by the idea of getting to have multiple trees around their house, far from it. It made him happy that Steve barely blinked at his occasional ridiculousness.

“Me too.” His eyes closed and he wrapped his arms around him, leaning into that soft kiss with a happy hum. Tipping his head to look at him, he smiled softly. “You can’t tell me that. It might happen,” he admitted with a little chuckle. There was just something about the twinkling lights and smell of pine that made him smile. Add in the happiness and hope that being with Steve gave him, it was the best Christmas he could remember in a long time.

There was nothing ridiculous about this to Steve. It was every bit the blessedly normal (or close enough to it) and happy life they'd never gotten to have together. He'd gladly cover their whole house in pine and ornaments. It was a small thing compared to seeing Bucky happy and getting to spend the holidays together however they wanted.

His smile was soft and warm as he tipped his forehead to his, his face full of love. "I can, and I will. It's done. Every room," he murmured back, wrapping his arms around him. "We should put lights on the house too," he requested, loving the idea of it bright and cozy, inside and out. Steve never did anything halfway. He wanted all the sweet Christmas memories they could get together.

Bucky loved this feeling, that their life was simple and normal (Sallow Hills crazy itself entirely aside). He could focus on Steve, their relationship, and the life they were building together. He snuggled in when he tipped their foreheads together, his breath catching at the love clear on Steve’s face.

A soft, happy laugh escaped him at the idea of decorating every room with a tree. “Definitely lights on the house,” he agreed easily. “Twinkling ones,” he decided with a quick grin, because there was just something he loved about the ones that twinkled. Brushing his nose against his lightly, he gave him a soft kiss. He would take every sweet memory they could make together.

Though he knew neither of them would have chosen it, there was a part of Steve that was a little grateful for Sallow Hills and all its weirdness. Whether they managed to leave or not someday, it would always be the place where he kissed Bucky for the first time, where he got to marry his best friend, where they had a home together. It was special because he was there.

If he hadn't already been sure that was the right choice, that soft, happy laugh confirmed it for him. Steve would do way more than put up half a dozen Christmas trees to see Bucky that happy. "Twinkling," he agreed with an easy smile. "And multicolored. They're... happier." The solid white or blue were aesthetically nice, but there was something cold about them, and Steve'd had enough cold for several lifetimes. He pressed into the soft kiss, his hand finding its way into his as he pulled away. "Come on. This might take a couple trips," he chuckled, not at all put off by the idea of hauling trees back to their house.

Bucky didn't particularly want to leave the haven that Sallow Hills had become. It had given him everything that really mattered, his life with Steve and everything that came with it. Here, there was no Captain America, no Winter Soldier. There was just Steve and Bucky. It was everything he'd wanted and never been able to have.

He beamed at the mention of the multi-colored lights, "They are! I like it! Do we want the big bulbs or the little ones?" Much like Steve, there had been enough cold in his life that he could do without the blue or white. He didn't even really want snow, but it would be pretty to look at through their windows. The sound of Steve's chuckle warmed him through and through and he went easily, hand tucked into his. "It'll be worth it, though."

If Steve was being perfectly honest (and he usually tried), he'd stopped trying to get out of Sallow Hills the moment Bucky showed up. There were people out there he'd like to see again, but there were people in here he cared about too. He knew he'd regret losing the Space Kids if they ever found a way out, and he'd regret losing the peace he and Bucky had here. There was nowhere else they got to be just Steve and Bucky.

"You choose? I like them both." He grinned, the excitement catching. He didn't even think he'd mind a little snow at this point, mostly because there was a lot of mischief a couple super soldiers could get into with that, and it was a perfect excuse for cocoa and warm snuggles after. "Completely," he agreed, bringing their joined hands up to his lips and pressing a soft kiss there as they wandered through the rows of trees. He was sure the perfect one would find them.

Bucky would admit that losing the Space Kids would never be worth it. Somehow, they had risen to the same bit of them just getting to be Steve and Bucky. He'd miss them like parts of his heart and soul and damned if that wasn't something he'd never expected to deal with when he'd gone hunting down his best friend.

He pondered for a bit before finally answering, "Why not do both, then? We can do the big lights lining the roof and get the multicolored icicle things?" It made him so happy to see the excitement rising in Steve. His heart practically melted at the soft kiss to their joined hands and he couldn't be blamed for staying close. As they wandered through the lot, too much of his attention was on Steve, but he did pay attention to the trees. He did! When they came across one, only a little taller than Steve but fluffy, Bucky smiled and tugged him to a stop. "Our bedroom?"

"I love it. Both," he agreed, grinning easily. It wasn't hard to picture their house like that, and it was a lovely, happy picture. They could put off the slow wave of repairs and upgrades for a bit in place of decorating, and he wouldn't be sorry for it. There was no real deadline on any of that. All he cared was that they got to spend time together doing things they loved and making their home here.

He wanted him close as they browsed through the trees. If Christmas was an excuse to be extra snuggly in public, he'd gladly take it, although neither of them seemed to need an excuse. He could tell when they found the right one by the way Bucky smiled. "I think that qualifies as fluffy," he agreed with a soft laugh. "It's perfect." He tipped his head up thoughtfully, gauging the height. "I think we can go taller in the living room. The ceiling is higher."

"Both it is, baby," he murmured, that grin taking his breath away with the sheer ease of it. It didn't used to be so easy to get him to smile, and the fact the he could, that they both could, now... It meant everything. All of the repairs, the upgrades, it was just part of their daily life that was entirely worth putting on hold for happy, silly, holiday things. It was all part of making a home.

Bucky would take any reason to be close to Steve that he could get. Adorable Christmas tree cheesy movie moments were absolutely perfect for it. He shot him a pleased smile at the agreement. "Yes! Wait... really? We can get a bigger one too?" His eyes were slightly wide, like he hadn't believed Steve would actually let him put trees all over their house.

Steve had never been prone to a lot of smiling. Even pre-serum, he had a tendency to take the whole world onto his shoulders, whether it was his to carry or not. That had only escalated the longer he carried the shield. Bucky had always been able to bring out the playful, teasing side though, and all of Steve's happiest memories were with him. He had more reason than ever now to smile often and freely.

A split second of confusion flickered through him. Obviously, he hadn't made that point clearly, a problem he planned to remedy immediately. "Baby. You," He tugged him gently closer by the front of his coat, pressing a quick, firm kiss to his lips. "Can do anything you want. I swear, if you want to cover the lawn in plastic flamingos, I'll find a way to make it happen. If you want to leave here with a dozen Christmas trees, we'll do it."

Bucky was determined to give Steve every reason to smile possible. From little things to big, it was past time for him to not carry the weight of the world. At the very least, he wanted to take some of that off of him. They had so many opportunities to build a happy life without all of that weight and expectation. It made all of the difference in the world.

A soft sound escaped him and he fisted his hands in the front of Steve's coat when he was pulled close and kissed. "No plastic flamingos," he murmured softly, slightly dazed from love and kisses and loving every bit of it. "Not a dozen," he chuckled, shifting closer to kiss him again. "Maybe three... or four," he admitted with a sheepish chuckle. It was new and fun and something they could just enjoy. "The kids could come decorate one," he suggested softly.

It was no secret that Bucky was the reason for at least 90% of those smiles. Steve was happier with him than he'd ever been in his life, and there wasn't even a second place. This was it. It was everything. He'd realized how much pressure carrying the shield put on him even before he dropped it, but not having to play the hero every five minutes in Sallow Hills... really wasn't the worst thing. He'd always step up if needed and knew Bucky would too, but it was nice not to be needed by anyone but him for a change.

"Just an example, but glad to hear it," he chuckled softly. He would do it and much worse for Bucky, but that didn't mean his artist's brain was going to learn to appreciate the aesthetic of plastic flamingos any time soon. "Whatever you want, Buck," he murmured, humming happily into the kiss. He knew his eyes were soft at the suggestion. He didn't know if they had Christmas on Jakku, but a lot of Rey's memories were Earth memories. "I'd love that."

Bucky would never not protect anyone who needed it, or help save anything that might need him to. He was simply enjoying the fact that it wasn't really necessary here. He just wanted him, Steve Rogers, not Captain America. That was the best part of Sallow Hills for him, and he couldn't really deny it.

"I hate those things," he admitted with a little laugh. There was no part of him that could understand the appeal of them at all. He curled against him, unable to stop the need to be as close as possible, especially when he was so sweet. He watched his face go soft and everything in him answered in equal measure. "Do you think they will want to?" He still couldn't help but question how much he was wanted by other people at times.

"Me too," he chuckled. He would have lived with it if Bucky liked them--or anything else he liked that they didn't agree on--but he was glad to know neither of them were that tacky. He was happy to press close and tuck him in warm against him, arms wrapping around him. "All that's missing is the snow," he murmured, stealing another soft kiss while he was close. Everything else was like something off of a Christmas card.

Something protective tried to rise up at that soft vulnerability. If Steve had his way, nobody would ever hurt Bucky, but that was out of his control. He didn't really think it was like that with the kids though. They liked him probably more than they liked Steve, and he happened to agree with that assessment. "I don't know if they celebrate Christmas. But I'm sure they'll come over for food and cute Earth traditions if we ask." If nothing else, he'd rarely seen Rey turn down food.

His arms tucked up his back so he could stay pressed close to him and be wrapped up by him. He loved the way Steve could just wrap his arms around him and make it feel like they were in a world all their own. He hummed softly, that soft kiss spreading warmth in his chest. "When did we turn into one of those soft romance movies?" The question was playful and sweet, but he clearly loved it, them getting to have something like this.

"We can always find out what they do," he ventured quietly, wanting to know more about their Space Kids™. He smiled softly, "I'd like to know about it. And share some of our Christmas with them." Having a family wasn't something he'd ever thought he'd have, not since he had been young and known the expectation of it. While it wasn't the most conventional thing, it was still a family of sorts.

They had a tendency to create their own universe wherever they went. Steve occasionally noticed the looks they got because it was prudent to keep an eye on their surroundings, but that was all he cared. If it wasn't a friend or a threat, it didn't intrude on the private world they were in. "Sweetheart, that happened the moment you kissed me," he murmured, not caring how sappy he was. He brushed another soft kiss to his lips. "I love being in your movie."

That soft earnestness just about melted him. "Sweetest man." He tipped his forehead to his, curling his fingers in the back of Bucky's coat because as cute as he looked in his hat, it was rudely covering the hair he loved to run his fingers through. "I'd like that. We can ask, and then maybe plan something that fits both." He was always glad to hear more about their world. If they could make it a little more like home for the season, that was well worthwhile.

Bucky noted the looks and promptly ignored them because they didn't matter to him. His life, his happiness, wasn't subject to anyone else's approval or disapproval except for him and Steve. A soft sound escaped him and he pressed them into a slow, deeper kiss. His partner could get to him, to his heart, quicker than anything or anyone with just a look, a touch. When he found the right words? Bucky was done for.

He was glad for the chilly air making his cheeks already a little pink when they started to heat up a little at the praise. He didn't particularly like the hat, but he liked being cold far less. "I like that idea," he decided. He'd gotten to hear bits and pieces about their lives from Rey in her stories, from Finn as they cooked together. But he knew there was always more to it, to a life, than a regular conversation ever brought about.

Steve was happy to sink into that kiss, into Bucky, not so much forgetting that they were in a public place with a tentative agenda so much as pushing it outside the realm of things that mattered right now. He wasn't always great with expressing himself in words, so it was nice to know when he said the right thing--better, even, because it was just the truth. He poured all that love that constantly threatened to drown him into it, knowing Bucky was the safest place for his heart.

He curved a hand over his jaw and pressed a kiss to that warm cheek, loving it every time he was able to make him blush. He never did it on purpose and suspected he couldn't if he was trying, but it was always adorable when it happened. "Your idea," he reminded him. Bucky was so much better at sweetness, at the soft, homey family things. "Come on, doll. We have at least three more trees to pick out." He brushed his nose lightly against his before he pulled back, keeping his arm wrapped around his waist and tucking his hand into Bucky's coat pocket.

For the most part, the only thing that always mattered was Steve himself and their relationship. He knew that his partner didn’t always think he was good at words, but he always found them when it mattered, when they were needed. He couldn’t help but kiss him, that love and sweetness making his heart clench knowing he would always protect Steve’s.

Tipping his head into that kiss, he couldn’t help the soft smile. It was sweet how Steve responded to his blushes, rare as they were. “Only part of it,” he murmured softly, a little sheepish. He wanted the best life for them they could have, and their relationships with the Kids only added to it. The soft Eskimo kiss made his breath hitched and his heart stutter as he smiled. He leaned into his hold, his arm wrapped around Steve in return as they went looking for their next tree.

"All the parts that mattered, baby," he assured him softly. Steve was taking no credit for that. It was all Bucky and his sweetness. All he'd done was support him in it, and he'd continue to do that forever. He had been protective and friendly with the Space Kids before he got there, but he credited Bucky for what the relationship was now. He was the reason for things like family dinners and braiding hair. Steve was rarely that soft on his own.

"Since we're doing a lot of these, I think we should find the ugliest one and take it home too. Charlie Brown style," he chuckled, eyeing a couple of the smaller, more battered trees. Steve didn't know if he was up to the challenge of making it look pretty in the end anyway, but at least it would have a home for Christmas, even if that home ended up being a room that no one used much.

The soft credit, the sweetness of it, was more than he was still used to. This relationship with Steve was the best thing, and they were still growing in it, adding to it. Their relationship with the Space Kids was part of that. It was its own soft happiness, and he liked what it brought out in Steve.

Everything in him melted and he turned soft eyes on him. "I really like that." Getting to do something so ridiculous for Christmas was going to keep a smile on his face for days. As they did more, let themselves go full tilt into it, he knew it was going to be hard to shake the smile at all. Steve was good for him like that.

There was a lot they were both still adjusting to, less about being in a relationship--being with Bucky was one of the easiest things he'd ever done--than about being in a place where they could just be themselves, where no one asked anything more from them than to pick up ice cream for dessert. Steve couldn't fully kick the lingering feeling of guilt that he wasn't doing enough, but for the most part it was overpowered by the part of him that wanted to give Bucky the world. That was enough. That was a whole life.

Bucky had the softest puppy eyes he'd ever seen when he chose to use them, and in this case, it made him feel like he'd said something right. Steve wanted to give him every reason to smile, all the time but especially through the holiday season. "Me too." He gave him a soft smile in return, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw. From there, it was just wandering through the rows and deciding which trees would look best in which rooms, and he was pretty satisfied with their selection. Getting them home was going to be an adventure, but he loved a challenge.

Tipping his face, he couldn't stop the soft, lovesick smile on his face at the sweet kiss. This was what they needed after so long of living one fight to the next. Simple happiness. It wasn't something that he ever thought he would find. He certainly had never expected it when he had gone on the hunt for his best friend so long ago.

He couldn't believe it as they picked out trees for each room, his heart a puddle of warm mush in his chest. Looking over their choices, he couldn't stop the quiet bubble of laughter. "How are we getting all of them home?" The question was teasing and delighted, as Bucky was in no way upset at their ridiculousness.

"I have no idea," he admitted with a laugh. "I'm sure we can carry them, but that one's probably going to take both of us." He nodded toward the tallest one they'd chosen for the living room. It wasn't the weight that was the problem. He was sure they could each lift much more. But the sheer size of it and the visibility issue of one person trying to carry a tree more than twice his size... The mental image was funny, at least. Abominable tree monster.

"Start big, and then we can come back for the smaller ones?" he suggested. There were times he thought a truck might be useful, but Sallow Hills was such a small town, it seemed excessive. He got around fine on foot, and even the bike was an indulgence, one made purely out of love for them rather than any actual necessity. Besides, anything a truck could carry, either of them could carry without breaking a sweat.

He pondered the possibilities, looking around the lot and the trees leaving. There was no reason for them to have a truck here, not really, and even the bike was a little much to him but he understood why Steve kept one. He deserved to have all the good things he wanted. As a result, he encouraged it, especially knowing it wasn't going to be yeeted at anyone or anything here.

Watching a tree get wrapped in a net, he nudged Steve to look at it. "We could get them all wrapped together," he suggested with a grin. Between them, as bulky and ridiculous as it would be, he was sure they could manage. And if they got a few laughs out of it, well, it just added to the day, really.

Make no mistake, Steve wouldn't hesitate to yeet the bike if he felt the situation called for it. He was fond of it, but it was as replaceable as any other thing. He tended not to get attached to them after getting dumped repeatedly into new worlds with nothing but a set of dogtags to his name. Even his body wasn't original model. There wasn't much in Sallow Hills that required such extremes though. (And he'd already yeeted his first bike at the barrier before Bucky got there, so he knew it didn't work.)

He followed his gaze to the trees being netted, his mind jumping to the same conclusion but discarding it. When Bucky voiced it, he started laughing and couldn't stop. It was almost as silly as the tree monster, but what was even sillier was that he could see it working. "Sorry-- no, yeah. I think that'll work. Carrying it won't be the problem. Let's do it." He couldn't bite back another chuckle. Steve would do much sillier things to make Bucky happy.

The sound of Steve's laugh set something warm and fluttering off inside of him and he couldn't help but chuckle along. Even the words bounced with laughter and he shook his head at their silliness. That happiness made him reach over and grab the front of his jacket, hauling him close. "God, you're pretty like this," he murmured before kissing him soundly.

He couldn't stop the smile that rose up into the kiss before he pulled back with a happy laugh. "Come on then, we've got a house of trees to get wrapped and become human sleds for." There were far worse things he could do than have some silliness while they bought their first Christmas trees together.

His breath hitched when he dragged him closer, and he thought it might always be like that. There were always going to be moments when Bucky just took his breath away. He gripped the front of his jacket and kissed him back hard, slightly dazed and fighting the heat trying to creep into his cheeks when he pulled away. He couldn't stop grinning though, and the sound of Bucky's laughter made it more impossible.

"I love you." His voice was soft and fond, at odds with the stupid smile he couldn't get rid of, but maybe not so odd. He was happy, and Bucky was happy, and that was a pretty big deal for both of them. "Alright then," he chuckled, stepping back to assess the best way to go about this. It took some maneuvering, working together to fit trees together like puzzle pieces and wrapping them up, and he was laughing again as he stepped back to view the final product. "If this holds all the way home, I'll be shocked."

Bucky was always so tempted by those sweet hitches in Steve's breathing. Add in the way he kissed and it was nearly impossible to hold himself back at times. He tried his best when they were in public, at the very least, but he loved that beautiful dazed look on his face as he looked at him once they stopped kissing. "I love you," he told him softly, brushing the backs of his fingers over his cheek.

As they worked on fitting their strange puzzle together, he couldn't stop the soft laughter while they worked. The final result wasn't the prettiest to look at, but it might just serve their purpose. He wrapped his arm around his waist and pressed a kiss to his cheek with a grin. "We better move quick, then," he gave the bundle a lookover, "but carefully."

Steve could agree to (mostly) behaving themselves in public, but otherwise, there was nothing he wanted to hold back from Bucky. He'd spent a lifetime without him, and he was loving him as hard as he could for the rest of their lives now that they had each other. Those words and the soft look on Bucky's face when he said them filled him with warmth, and he caught his fingers, pressing a soft kiss to the backs of them before he let him go.

It meant the world to him to be able to joke around and be silly like this, the closest he ever felt to the kids they'd been in Brooklyn, although admittedly with some new perks like super soldier strength. He tucked an arm around his waist, chuckling as he pressed a kiss to his hair. "Not my best thing, but I think you balance me out." Nobody would ever accuse Steve of being careful. Bucky had always been the one you wouldn't see coming, the sniper hidden in the trees. He kissed him again, soft and sweet, before he let him go, getting in place to pick up an end of their ridiculous bundle whenever he was ready.

Bucky did his best to not sink into that hold, that affection. He managed, mostly because he knew that he could have all of it he wanted once they got home. Less and less, he missed the kids from Brooklyn, loving the men they were now and together. All the parts of him from all his lives were twining into a single man, patchwork but happy for the first time in so very long.

"I've got your six," he mused softly. Subtle, Steve was not, even without the spangly suit. But Bucky loved him anyway. It was just another way they fit well together. He went to pick up his end of their giant bundle of trees and couldn't help the snicker that escaped him as they lifted it. "Sooner we get home we can have cocoa and cookies," he mused, not mentioning the snuggles and decorating.

There was no shortage of easy affection in their house, a stark contrast to the way he'd been living his life since he came out of the ice. Steve had long ago set the past down and walked away from it before it could crush him. He couldn't go back and knew he wouldn't want to. Bucky was the only exception to that. Their history might be the foundation to their relationship, but that wasn't all there was to it. The present with him was so much sweeter than the past had ever been.

"Always have." He gave him a fond smile in return. Steve hoped he didn't need as much looking after as he used to. There was far less trouble to get into here. Life was peaceful and easy, transporting a pile of Christmas trees notwithstanding. He loved that that was their biggest problem these days. "Sounds merry," he chuckled as they started home with the awkward bundle. "Did you buy cookies, or is making cookies on our list?"

“Always will,” he promised easily, happy to make sure he kept that one. Watching Steve’s six had a different meaning for him these days, since he wasn’t in as much trouble. Not much trouble to really be had here for a pair of century old soldiers and he liked it that way. They could just be Steve and Bucky, learn who that was together and individually. He thought they were both making progress there.

He chuckled as they started off with their tree monster. “I think so too,” he mused, thinking of their sweet little home in progress and smiling to himself. “I made the sugar ones this morning, but they still need to be frosted. I wanted to make a few more kinds so we can take some over to the kids,” he admitted. The idea of buying cookies at the store was absolutely ridiculous to him.

"Always," he agreed with a warm smile. Bucky had been watching out for him since they were kids, and that didn't change just because there wasn't a war to fight anymore. They just looked out for each other in different ways now. Having someone to reach for when the nightmares were bad, or curling up on the couch together on the rough days, or just knowing that there was a person who cared most about Steve and not Cap. It was that kind of support he'd never really had from anyone else, and it meant the world to him.

"On the list it is." He grinned, looking forward to getting in Bucky's way in the kitchen, which was pretty much his best skill there. He liked watching him work and sharing the space, and he was picking things up a little at a time. If nothing else, Steve could follow directions when he decided he felt like it. Neither of them were straining from the weight of the tree monster, but it was awkward to carry, even for two people who moved like they could read each other's minds. The shape and balance of it was just off, and it probably looked as funny as it felt.

Bucky would admit to preffering how they looked out for each other now. It was softer, less out of necessity and entirely out of preference and choice. Knowing that he could roll over into Steve's arm after a nightmare, that he could ask for a movie day or cuddles on the bad brain days, it all made him feel comfortable and happy and loved. Steve loved him despite his past, and Bucky had loved Steve through everything. Getting to show him that now was easy.

That particular grin made Bucky feel warm in the best of ways, knowing how much he loved having Steve in the kitchen with him. Some of his favorite memories were made in their kitchen here. He felt a little like he was waddling, the ridiculous tree monster an awkward weight, and he couldn't stop the occasional rounds of chuckles that escaped him. When they finally got it to their door, he paused. "Do we want to take them in a tree at a time?" Probably easier than trying to fit the monster through the door.

It took most of the day to get the trees inside and set up, given they had to go back out for more tree stands and the things to make their own decorations. Then it was frosting cookies and decorating their first tree with the decorations Bucky had already picked out, and lots of kisses and cuddles and laughter, of course. They had barely gotten started, and already it was the best Christmas he'd ever had.

The biggest tree was twinkling in the living room, and Steve hummed quietly to the record player while he strung popcorn and cranberries. The music was old, and it reminded him of Christmases in Brooklyn like this one. They'd never had much, but it never felt that way around the holidays with his mom and Bucky around. They filled it with love and warmth and happy memories. There was something totally relaxing about the process, about making something with his hands. A little too relaxing, maybe, and he swore softly as he stabbed himself with the needle. It was bound to happen once or twice.

There was a warmth in Bucky's chest that had made it's home there and he knew it wasn't going anywhere any time soon. Already, their day had been filled with laughter, happiness, and an easy warmth that he knew was because of Steve and their life together. Their home was practically bursting with that love and sweetness and he was glad for it. It had been a long, hard road for them and this was good for them.

With the last round of popcorn done, he followed the sound of Steve's humming, smiling softly to himself like the lovestruck idiot he was. It was the most like home he could remember feeling since they were kids, Winnie and Sarah making sure they both were taken care of. Hearing the swearing, he chuckled and leaned over the back of the couch to take his hand and bring his fingers to his lips. "You're supposed to be careful, sweetheart," he murmured, teasing as he brushed his lips over the backs of his fingers before flipping it to brush his fingertip gently over the stabbed spot.

Steve probably would have ignored Christmas like he'd ignored the last ones if not for Bucky being there. He'd liked the house as a kind of project to keep his hands and mind busy. It was only because Bucky was there that it actually felt like a home now. He brought all that warmth and happiness with him, and he kept it going with Christmas and the Space Kids and his adorable date ideas, and all the other things, large and small, that he brought into Steve's life.

"Not my best thing," he chuckled, letting him take his hand to kiss it better. Nobody would ever accuse Steve of being careful, and that had nothing to do with the serum. That was all him, rushing headlong into situations that were too big for him. He couldn't even confidently say he was past that, just that he'd been stuck in a place where there was literally almost no trouble to get into. The pain was already gone, and he slid his hand over the side of his face, a soft answering smile on his lips as he tipped his head back in a clear invitation to kiss him.

"I know, baby," he grinned through the words, knowing that careful was something he was always going to be hard-pressed to get Steve to be with himself. He had always rushed headlong into everything. It didn't matter if it was a fight with a man twice his size or battling the flu, Steve never backed down. He loved him for it and feared for him over it. That had never changed and he didn't think it ever would, even living here in Sallow Hills.

He was never going to turn down a tempting invitation and he hummed softly as he bent down to take advantage of it. He brushed his lips softly over his a few times before kissing him properly, his hand sliding to curl under his jaw. That hand kept sliding down to his chest as he slowly deepened the kiss before pulling back. "Tree, Steve," he said softly, even if he wanted to keep kissing him. He forced himself to back away and walk around to go settle on the floor at Steve's knees with his bowl of popcorn.

If there was anything that could give Steve even a measure of caution, it was the love of his life. Getting married had only solidified what had already started when they began their relationship. Steve's first priority wasn't to the rest of the world or any of its ideals anymore. Bucky deserved a partner who would always put him first. There had been no real tests of that yet in Sallow Hills, but Steve knew he would at least try not to go running recklessly into things anymore. If nothing else, he owed it to Bucky to make those decisions together.

His hand slid further into his hair as their kiss deepened, decorations temporarily forgotten. It took all his self-control not to pull him over the back of the couch, popcorn be damned. He made a soft sound of protest when he pulled away and couldn't stop the longing look he sent him as he moved back. It didn't matter if he got to spend all day, every day with Bucky. He'd always want him. "Tree," he agreed in a soft murmur. It was probably safer that he sat on the floor, and he leaned forward to kiss the top of his head as he picked the popcorn string back up.

There were days when Bucky could hardly believe that he'd gotten to marry the love of his life. He spent plenty of time brushing his thumb along the soft metal of his ring just to feel it and remind himself it was real. Bucky trusted that they were both going to put each other first, ahead of anything Sallow Hills might attempt to throw at them. He didn't spend time waiting for it, though, because this was the happiest he had ever been.

That look from his husband was almost impossible to resist, but he steeled himself for the goal. He did rest his head against his knee, tucked on the strong length of his thigh as he settled down to dod his part of the work. "Later, baby, I promise," his voice was husky with it, letting him know it wasn't exactly easy for him to pull away from the kiss and him either. Carefully, he started to work on his strand, the cadence of music, Steve's breathing, and the slide of popcorn and cranberries lulling him into something soft.

Steve had been living in a state of mild disbelief since Bucky's first night here. He didn't need to be married to him to be happy, but he couldn't deny that it did make him almost deliriously happy. The liked the reassuring press of metal, a constant physical reminder of the best thing in his life. It made him smile every time he caught sight of it throughout the day, when he was working on a car or doing something around the house.

"We have all the time in the world, my love," he murmured into his hair. Days like this meant the world to him, and it didn't really matter what they were doing. Bucky was a warm weight pressed against his legs, and it was easy to fall into the rhythm of stringing popcorn and cranberries and soaking up the comfort. He hummed along to the record player sometimes, occasionally singing the words to him.

He hummed happily at the reminder, reaching his hand up to brush gently through his hair just because he could. "Yes we do," he said softly, the smile evident in his voice. Being able to just coexist and have a relaxing day at home, happy in the warmth of their holiday building. The metal of his ring pressed into his hand and he loved it, the reminder entirely welcome.

Shifting around, he scooted his way to tuck himself between Steve's legs, shouldering them apart. He set himself to work, stringing his own set of popcorn and cranberries. The sound of Steve's voice drifting down to his ears with the soft music kept a soft smile on his face. His string of garland got pushed up and into Steve's lap the longer it got, his mischievous side kicking in, just a little bit.

He shifted to make it easier for him to tuck himself in close, always happier to have him in contact after a lifetime of not being able to touch him. He didn't even try to keep his hands to himself when they were alone. His fingers drifted through his hair, running softly down the back of his neck before he went back to work. He loved his hair long like that, and he figured Bucky didn't mind his growing out a little either since he never complained. Steve couldn't hold on to a damn razor in the place to save his life. He assumed he'd find a bunch of them hidden in a random place someday, courtesy of Loki.

He didn't object to the strand ending up on his lap, although he might be retaliating a little by pushing his over Bucky's shoulder. It wasn't until he finished that he realized they were kind of surrounded, and he chuckled softly as he leaned forward to see how he was doing, brushing a soft kiss to his neck just inside the collar of his shirt. "You do look good in popcorn," he teased. No surprise there. Bucky looked good in everything.

Those soft pets and the brush of his fingers was absolutely one of his favorite sensations in the world. He certainly didn't feel the need to cut his hair, not with the way Steve seemed to enjoy it. There was certainly no way Steve was ever going to find any of his missing razors. They had all been broken (with the metal hand, and lots of force because he was making sure) and disposed of because he was addicted to the long hair and the beard. With Loki here, Bucky figured Steve would never really figure out why they kept going missing.

Being wrapped in popcorn and cranberry made him chuckle quietly to himself. Tipping his head, he shivered at that soft kiss and hummed to himself. His head rolled back so he could look at him with a quick, wicked smile, "So do you. Good enough to eat." He loved every way Steve looked, and made sure to show his appreciation every chance he got.

Steve knew exactly how much Bucky liked having pets and someone playing with his hair, and he rarely let the opportunity pass him by. He deserved all the soft sweetness he could get. It had never once crossed his mind that it was Bucky stealing all his razors, and he would have found it hilarious if he knew his partner was passively letting the god of mischief take the blame for it.

He hummed playfully, leaning to steal a proper kiss when he tipped his head back. "Love to test that theory later," he murmured, lingering over his lips. He was reluctant to pull away, but that was always the case. What he wanted more was for Bucky to have all the Christmas things he wanted, and they still had trees to decorate.

His hands wrapped around the back of his neck to hold him close for the kiss. He nibbled gently on his lip with a quiet groan at his words. "We'll definitely test it," he agreed, kissing him again because he absolutely could. Every bit of affection between them was perfect and made him happy, and he knew it was the same for Steve.

He let him go, visibly reluctant to do so, but he wanted their holiday to be perfect and happy. The idea of getting all of the trees done made him ridiculously excited. "Let's get these on the tree and we can do the next part," he decided, otherwise they were going to keep on wrapping each other in decorations.

He made a soft sound at the light press of teeth, hands sliding down his chest, his resolve to keep them to himself crumbling at the edges. He couldn't help it if Bucky was that irresistible. Pulling away from him never got any easier, but knowing they had time--tonight, tomorrow, the rest of their lives--was the best thing.

"What's the next part?" he chuckled, untangling them from strands of popcorn and cranberries as he got up. They'd talked about a number of holiday things they wanted to do, so he was curious. He draped the string over Bucky's shoulders, pulling him gently toward the tree they'd picked out for homemade decorations and stealing a soft kiss while he was close.

He loved hearing that he affected Steve as much as he was affected by his partner. There was no one he could think of that would think he was crazy for his inability to properly keeps his hands to himself where his husband was concerned. They had the rest of their lives, though, and it always soothed something in him, helped him regain some control over himself.

"Cocoa, cuddles, and a Christmas movie?" He gave him a hopeful look, complete with the soft smile. Laughing softly, he went while he was wrapped in Steve's garland, his own wrapped in his hands as he pressed close. He hummed happily at the soft kiss and stole another before unwrapping their garlands to start stringing them.

That look on his face could bring Steve to his knees. Before Sallow Hills, it had been so long since he'd seen anything like hope on it. He'd have agreed to anything to keep it there. "Sounds like the best Christmas I've ever had," he murmured, a hand curving along the side of that adored face.

He was content enough to pull away and finish what they were doing, knowing that he'd be able to cuddle him close soon enough, and they'd have the loveliness of their trees to keep them company. He always loved their home, but it was already warmer and brighter thanks to the day's efforts.

He leaned into that sweet touch, his fingers curling gently around his wrist to hold him there for a moment. Bucky knew that Steve would never really go far from him again, not now. "Me too," he admitted softly. Even before everything, he couldn't remember a Christmas quite like the one they were making together.

When they separated to finish their work, he was okay with it because he knew what waited for him when they were done. They were building this comfortable, happy home together and that meant more to him than anything. "I'll go make cocoa if you want to pull up a movie," he murmured, kissing him softly when they were done before forcing himself to go to the kitchen.

Steve had never wanted to be far from Bucky, but the world had other ideas for them. It was still a background concern, but he trusted that if something happened, they'd always find their way back to each other. He had a ring and a vow that said he was allowed to put Bucky first in everything now, and the world could learn to live with it.

He wrapped him up in his arms when they were finished, a happy smile on his face. "Looks great," he murmured, tipping his head for that soft kiss. He could feel that reluctance to pull away as much as Bucky could probably feel his to let him go, but they had the promise of cuddles in a few minutes. He flicked through their channels and settled on something happy and Christmasy.

The world wasn’t prepared for what would happen if he was separated from Steve now. They had everything they’d never thought they could before. He had his ring and his last name. The world was not allowed to ruin that. Ever. He’d stay in Sallow Hills the rest of his probably long life of it meant keeping this.

In the kitchen, he hummed softly to himself while he made cocoa, taking the time to slowly warm up milk instead of water because really, it just tasted better that way. Once cocoas were done, he carried them out to go settle in next to Steve. Curling into his side, he tucked himself half onto Steve’s lap because some days he was more cat than anything. “Much better.”

It was strange to think about staying in Sallow Hills for the rest of his life. He'd never had that kind of stability. As soon as he got used to something, the world was ripped out from beneath his feet again. He couldn't help but believe it would be the same here. But he had Bucky, and whatever happened, they would handle it together. Living out a peaceful life with him here was far from the worst outcome.

He curled up on the couch, head tipped back and a small smile on his lips while he listened to Bucky's humming from the kitchen, the sound of him in their space more familiar and adored than he'd ever dared to hope for. He wrapped around him easily when he joined him. Bucky always fit into his space like a missing puzzle piece. "Perfect," he murmured, pressing soft kisses into his hair.

The reality was that the roots of the Winter Soldier had existed in Sergeant James Barnes long before he had fallen in the Alps. If the world decided to crumble underneath him, there would be no stopping those pieces from rising up in him again. Once, he could have sworn he was made for fun and laughter. That had transitioned into being made for war and killing.

He loved the way Steve automatically wrapped around him, the man himself feeling like home. Bucky tipped his face up in a silent request to be kissed as he pushed Steve's cup gently into his hand. "You are," he murmured quietly, content to be soft and mushy.

That was one of the things Steve hated Hydra most for. They'd taken things that were already in Bucky and twisted them to their own purposes. So much of what Bucky had been dealing with during the war was clearer in hindsight, and Steve felt stupid that he hadn't realized that he was already faster, stronger, better than he should have been. If he'd known there was even a chance he could survive that fall, he never would have stopped looking.

He didn't hesitate to meet that demand, tipping his head to brush a soft, lingering kiss to his lips. He took the cup, smiling with just a breath of space between them. "No, that's you, Mr. Rogers," he murmured, kissing him again. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing that or saying it, although he'd laughed himself silly when he realized his new name was Buck Rogers. Fitting for his sweet sci-fi nerd.

These days, Bucky didn't want to waste a single moment of time or energy hating Hydra. It helped that here, in Sallow Hills, there was not a single whiff of Hydra or anything they had ever had to fight against. Back before he fell, he had done everything he could to tamp down that he felt different, could do things a little faster and better than before. Partially, it had been terrifying. But Steve was finally doing what he should have been allowed to, and he refused to get in the way of that.

A soft sound escaped him at that lingering kiss and he pushed up into it lightly. Steve made it so easy to forget what it was they planned to do together. His breath hitched at the name and he nibbled on his bottom lip gently. "Again... please," the request was a nearly nonexistent whisper of sound, the need to know it was real and that was his name overriding everything. It felt impossible to have his favorite dream come true.

He made a soft sound at the gentle scrape of teeth. He was already have trouble pulling away from those too-tempting lips, and now he didn't stand a chance. That almost inaudible plea made his heart ache a little. Every time he thought he couldn't possibly love Bucky more, his heart found even more room for it.

"Bucky Rogers. Buck Rogers. My Bucky," he murmured, pressing soft, almost reverent kisses to his lips in between each. His fingers slid through his hair, quietly soothing. Steve would be happy to reassure him of that as often as possible. There was a part of him that hardly believed it himself, and he'd do whatever he could to ground both of them in their new reality.

He wanted to chase that sound, to drink it in and pull more of them out of him. His hands slid to tuck just under the edge of his shirt, against the comfort of warm skin. Steve never questioned his need for occasional reassurance, the need to be reminded that this really was his life, their life.

A soft laugh escaped him into some of those kisses that shifted into a soft, pleased sound. "All yours," he murmured quietly against his lips. "Always." He loved that he had finally gotten to have his name, that part of him that nothing could take away because it was forever twined with him.

He hummed happily at the press of warm hands against his skin. Steve needed those reassurances at least as much as Bucky did. They'd had good things ripped away from them too many times to fully trust them, and this was the best thing. He'd never let anything take him away again.

The sound of Bucky's laughter never failed to bring a smile to his face. "Always, my love," he assured him softly, brushing another kiss over his lips. He couldn't help lingering over this one, slowly deepening it as his fingers slid a soft path through his hair. He was irresistible and always had been.

The smile that he managed to bring to Steve's face with the smallest laugh made him feel warm. He knew that he was invested in his happiness, in his healing, but those small smiles said that he genuinely enjoyed. A soft sound escaped him at the promise and he knew that he would try his best to keep it.

His breath caught as that kiss deepened and he slid his arms to wrap around his neck and press close. The warmth of him was so tempting to slide fully into his lap, to just give in. Steve was always impossible to resist, and he knew that was never going to change now.

There was little about their life together that Steve didn't genuinely enjoy. He'd never been prone to smiling a lot, but he found the expression on his face often now. There was plenty to be happy about. He got to marry the love of his life, they had a family of sorts, and he wasn't single-handedly trying to shoulder the weight of the world anymore. It was better than he'd ever imagined it could be.

He leaned slightly to set the cup of cocoa on the end table before he stopped caring about whether it got spilled, and turned all his attention on Bucky. His hand slid back into his hair, wrapping easily in the soft strands as he moved further into his lap. He loved being able to kiss him like this, deep and slow and adoring, any time they wanted to.

Their life here was nothing they would have been allowed the opportunity for out in the world. There would have been the neverending demand for Captain America, the duty of the mantle he'd carried for so long. There would have been the judgement and legal problems that would have followed him and likely dictated his life for a very long time. And that was all on any potential that they would have been allowed to legally return to the States. Life here for them was everything he wanted for them, even if they were stuck and without the few that mattered outside this town.

He grumbled at the lean before remembering to tuck his own cup next to it. He gasped softly at the full return of his attention and that hand in his hair. Shifting, he settled himself fully onto Steve's lap because there was no playing that he wasn't going to end up exactly there. These kisses made him quiver, knowing how thoroughly he was loved and wanted.

#chat: bucky #vvhite-vvolf #grownup christmas list

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vvolfstare · 3 years ago

Text

wreck my plans | stucky

@vvhite-vvolf

tw: canon-typical triggers, but nothing specific for this one. smut to start, more smut to end, fluff and plot in the middle (but at least everyone has their pants on for the proposal, a+ boys).

NSFW in between the ***

Bucky had known the second that his relationship with Steve had shifted that he was going to dive headfirst into building a home with him in Sallow Hills. He was lucky that there was a head start on it, and it wasn't a bad one at all. There wasn't so much done that there was nothing for him to do or help with, but there also was enough to do that it could be as much his.

They'd been working since lunch after a... distracted... start, which was always acceptable to him. He had a feeling the house was going to be a perfect blend of the two of them, but it wasn't going to be without its bumps and bruises. He was entirely with Steve on the plan of finishing the inside first, though. As he finished up the smaller project he had taken on for the day, he turned to watch Steve, leaning against the wall and sipping on his bottle of water. "You good?"

He wanted nothing more than for Bucky to feel like the house belonged to him as much as it did to Steve, and he was happy he'd set right into making it theirs with so much enthusiasm. It was far more fun taking on projects together, even if their progress had been... questionable so far. They had a strong tendency to get distracted, and he wasn't complaining about it. He didn't care how long it took or if they ever finished, as long as they got to stay together.

It didn't help that he had his head buried in the bathroom sink he was supposedly fixing, and he was too busy staring at Bucky leaning against the wall to remember what he was doing. He got kind of distracted by his leaning and walking. It was a whole show, and nobody did it better than Bucky did.

The question brought him back to the present, and he flashed an easy smile. "I'm great." As for the sink, well... that was less great. It had never worked, and he was fairly certain that wasn't going to change today. It was old and didn't match any of the pictures he could find, in books or on the internet. To no great surprise, his mechanic skills did not necessarily translate into plumbing. "If by 'good' you mean do I know what I'm doing, then no, not at all," he admitted with a soft laugh. "Wanna take a look?"

The simple fact that they had the opportunity to get as distracted as they did these days made his heart flutter more than a little bit. If they spent the rest of their lives getting more distracted than actually finishing projects, he'd learn how to be okay with that. That was mostly because he was sure that if they spent the rest of their lives being distracted from finishing projects on the house, it meant they were spending the rest of their lives together and that was all he wanted for them.

His eyebrow quirked at him with a chuckle and he shook his head slowly. "Com'on, punk, outta my way," he pushed off the wall and made his way over to the sink. The advantage of working the docks for so many years was that he had some knowledge of plumbing and piping. Reaching down, he gave a playful tug of his leg to pull him out from under the sink and shot a quick grin down at him.

"I'm goin', I'm goin'," he laughed. Sometimes being bigger post-serum was not an advantage, and small spaces like this took some negotiation. He managed to get those ridiculous shoulders out without breaking anything (just because the sink was broken didn't mean it couldn't get more broken), and he sat up and shifted sideways as far as he could, tucking his legs up to make room.

"Mind if I watch? I want to know what I'm doing wrong." There was barely room for the two of them on the floor, but part of what he enjoyed about fixing up the house was learning new things. He'd like to be able to fix this in the future if it was needed. Besides, the close quarters might be maddening for a whole different reason now, but there was comfort in knowing he didn't have to keep his hands to himself forever.

Bucky adored watching Steve try to maneuver those shoulders of his through small spaces. He had the feeling this was going to be a regular struggle for both of them while they worked on the house. Once he was shifted as out of the way as he could get, Bucky laid down to shift his way into his abandoned spot. His shoulders weren’t any smaller, really, and they took some negotiating to get into position.

“Go ahead, get comfy,” he invited with a chuckle at the close confines. Once upon a time it would have driven him crazy to be so close because he wasn’t allowed to touch. Now, he could but that was a problem all it’s own. He looked over the piping, trailing his fingers to pinpoint the problem and letting out a little noise. “Do I want to know how old this system is?” He chuckled and raised an eyebrow at Steve from under the sink.

Fair was fair, and watching Bucky try to fit himself under the sink wasn't a show he'd want to miss. He knew exactly what that spread of shoulders felt like under his hands, but he was behaving himself. This minute. The invitation made him smile, and he shifted enough to duck his head and lean under. It wasn't a perfect view, but he didn't want to actually be in his way either. Well, maybe he did want that, but later.

His hand settled gently on his ribs, thumb brushing a soft path over his t-shirt, not so much for support as because he couldn't be this close to him and not touch him at all. Bucky pulled him in like a magnet, and he wasn't sure how he'd survive without the constant tactile reminder that he was here and safe and his. "Older than us, pal," he chuckled. A hundred years was nothing over here. They considered that practically brand new.

His breath caught at the soft touch, but he immediately relaxed under it. He would always rather have the contact, be able to feel that Steve was actually with him and this wasn't some strange dream. His hand slid up to brush over his forearm lightly, a soft acceptance and thanks for the contact. They both were in the same boat, needing the gentle, consistent reminder that they were together, and that they were together.

He laughed a little and nodded, "Almost enough to make me feel like a kid. It's kinda nice." Some days, he couldn't believe how old he was, and other days, he felt every single year of existence. "So, we might have to replace some of this line because it's so old. The metal they used in the piping has changed a lot, coated and whatnot," he started to explain, showing him where the old pipes could get problematic. "We might have to take it apart to look, and then we'd probably have to replace it afterwards anyway."

He could feel his breath hitch under his hand, and his thumb moved gently back and forth in reassurance. They could be like this for a decade, and Steve thought a part of him would still be occasionally surprised by it. He'd never dared to even picture a life like this, with him. Even if he had, he knew his imagination wouldn't have been able to come close to the reality of it.

The comment brought a fond smile to his face. Anything that made Bucky happy tended to. A century was a heavy weight to drag around, even if neither of them had been conscious for all of it, but he felt lighter than he had... probably ever in his life. Bucky gave him that. He tipped his head, leaning a little further so he could see what he was talking about.

"Alright. Might as well just plan to replace it then." He grinned, hardly troubled by the idea. He knew the house was a fixer upper when he chose it, and there was no deadline for whatever they wanted to do with it. Steve preferred to keep busy, and at this rate they'd never run out of things to do.

Bucky didn't believe he deserved this, at all, and he knew he would never cease to be surprised. Steve loved him back, and it was the most happy truth in his world. His hand slid up to brush softly along his jaw before pulling back to properly work though he arched lightly into his soft touches to encourage them. The fact that they had a proper life together was something he could never take for granted.

His century had been long and exhausting, made worse when he could actually remember all of it. It was both a blessing and a curse to have the memories of the Winter Soldier. It meant he felt his century in painful ways, remembered the awake periods and felt grateful for the time he'd spent on ice. He shifted his arms so Steve had the best chance of seeing.

"Yeah, we're going to want to," he admitted, as much as he loved the idea of keeping as much of the original as they could. "Maybe we can find something close in style but updated material and design," he suggested. He was happy to work on their house for the next twenty years if it meant he got to do it with Steve.

If anyone deserved a life of peace and happiness after everything he'd been through, it was Bucky. He would fight for him to have that, whether or not it was with him, but somehow Steve seemed to make him as deliriously happy as Bucky made him. His gaze softened under that light touch. It said so much without any words, and he sometimes wondered how he made it through the day feeling this much.

"Sure. We'll do the best we can." The options could be limited in such a small town, but he trusted that they could figure it out. They were two of the most capable people he knew. "Do you want to stay close to the original for the whole house?" It wasn't the first suggestion he'd made like that. Steve didn't think he had a preference, but he'd admit the idea had some appeal. The house would be a mix of old and new, like them.

Bucky firmly believed that Steve was the one who deserved peace and happiness. He'd fought wars that weren't his, even after doing everything he could to stop one that should have ended his life. He wanted to see him smile and be happy every day for the rest of their lives, even if he knew it wasn't really possible. There were days that how much he felt drowned him, but he didn't fight it, because it would mean feeling less alive and Steve had been the one to finally help him feel like a real person.

He chuckled and nodded, "I mean, if anywhere could make it happen, I'm pretty sure this old place is it." The whole town was an interesting mix of old and new, of natural and not, after all. He hummed in thought before nodding a bit. "I think it would be nice," he admitted, his thoughts along the same track. "Some classic, some modern, uniquely ours," he shrugged a single shoulder in the small space.

Steve didn't think he'd been looking for peace. He wasn't well-suited to it by nature, but there wasn't a lot of fight to be had in a small town in Wales. He hadn't really believed it would last, but if peace was Bucky in his arms and building their life together, then he wasn't letting go. He'd never been one to smile all the time either--too busy dragging the weight of the world around with him--but with Bucky it seemed not only possible but likely. He'd never known happiness like this.

"Are you okay here?" The question was softer, more serious. Bucky handled being trapped a lot better than Steve had, but that didn't mean he wasn't bothered by it. If he really wanted to leave, they could put their attention on finding a way out instead of on the house. He didn't think it would work, but he would do anything for him. He also knew that, as much as he'd like to see Sam and Nat again, a part of him didn't want to leave. He had people who were important to him here now too. "I like that," he agreed with a smile. "Ours."

They had the chance to learn who they could be in a life without war and frustration or painful losses. He had never thought it was a thing he would get in any way. He didn’t know how to be a creature of happiness or delight. He had spent so long frozen and a product of war. With Steve, he knew he could learn.

The question made him pause working and look at Steve. He knew his love had friends on the outside, new people in his life that he was going to miss. Bucky didn’t have that, really, though he knew he would miss Shuri. “I am,” he assured him gently, reaching to brush his fingers lightly along his jaw. “It’s a home I didn’t think I’d get,” he admitted softly. He wanted to keep that smile on his face whenever he could. “Ours,” he agreed happily because it was the sweetest sounding word he could think of in that moment.

He tipped his face gently into that touch and knew the only person he really needed was right in front of him. Steve had lost everything a few times over, but the only one that really broke him losing Bucky. He trusted that they could find a way to make a life together anywhere. He wanted him to have a home that was safe and happy and anything else he wanted.

"I want you to have everything." He laid a hand over his and turned his head, brushing a soft kiss against his fingertips. If there wasn't half a sink between them, he would have kissed him by now. But why should he let that stop him? He flashed a quick, mischievous smile before he swung a leg over him, knees coming to rest on either side of his waist. He looked like he was mostly done with this repairing business anyway. "And no more nonsense about things you can't have," he teased.

***

His thumb slid across the arch of his cheekbone, that magnificent face of his drawing him in the way it had all their lives. He knew he couldn’t survive losing him again. He’d hunted the world over for him this time, after all, and Steve had done the same for him before that. They had earned some peace and happiness after all that. Right?

His heart flopped into Steve’s hand at the soft kiss to his fingers and he wondered how he had ever survived without it. He caught the smile just before he shifted and a quiet chuckle rumbled out of him. His hand slid down from his face over his chest to tuck into the ridiculous nip at his waist. “Nonsense, huh?” He smiled slow and arched an eyebrow at him. “Care to show me what I can have?”

His heart stuttered at that soft touch and the weight of his gaze. There was so much love in it, Steve wondered how he'd missed it all these years, but he knew that Bucky hadn't wanted him to see. Nothing would stop him from scouring the world for him if they were separated now, but given they were rarely out of each other's sight lately, it would be a hell of a fight if something tried.

The sound of his laughter made him smile. Being able to be silly together was one of Steve's favorite things, and he could stand to be a lot more ridiculous if it kept his baby happy. "Nonsense," he repeated, grinning in response to that slow smile. He gave the sink a brief, shrewd look before he leaned in to kiss him. Getting in wasn't hard, but getting out might be a problem. "Everything," he murmured against his lips. Worth it.

He loved seeing Steve look happy and it was simply made better knowing he was responsible for it. The lengths they would go to in order to make each other happy and smile were probably ridiculous. However, it felt like it didn’t take much these days for Steve to put a smile on his face. All he usually had to do was be there and tell him he loved him.

More laughter escaped him as Steve wrangled his way in under the sink with him. He simply wrapped his arms around him and enjoyed the feeling of him being close. Kissing him back, he hummed softly at the possibility in everything. “That can be a dangerous offer, Mister Rogers,” he teased.

Steve had probably smiled more in this time with Bucky than in the rest of his life combined. He didn't ever remember being this happy, not even before the war when he'd thought loving him in silence was all they'd ever have. He would have been content with that, with any kind of life with him, but it wasn't the same as this incandescent joy.

A soft, happy sigh left him when he sank against him and felt those arms wrap around him. He smiled into the kiss, giving a small shake of his head. "Not an offer," he murmured between soft kisses. "A promise." There was no part of him that didn't already belong to Bucky. His hands found the bottom of his shirt, thumbs running gently over the warm skin there.

Most of his life, Bucky would have settled for just content in a life with Steve in it. He didn't think he could ever live without the bubbling happiness they gave each other now. There were days when it was simply a content glow of warmth, and others when it just bubbled over, and he treasured every bit of it. Steve was a gift to him.

His breath hitched lightly at the quiet words, knowing that every bit of who he was already belonged to Steve as well. "A promise," he sighed happily against his lips, catching him in a lingering soft kiss. His arms tightened around him, one hand sliding up to tuck into his hair, a long line of muscle up his spine. "Any more projects for today?" The question was murmured against his lips, unwilling to stray far.

Steve had wanted so badly to be able to make that promise to him for so long, but it had never been his place. Now, he was free to spend the rest of his life keeping it and making sure Bucky got everything he wanted out of this life. He loved having this chance to figure it out together.

He was happy to linger in those soft, sweet kisses. It was easy to call up the heat that always existed between them, but he needed this just as much. Almost nobody got to see Bucky be soft. He hummed approvingly as he tipped his head into that hand, his own sliding further under his shirt to wrap around his waist. "I guess we could get off the floor, to start." He pressed another soft kiss to his lips, not making any move to follow through on that.

Steve had been the only one that he’d ever really wanted that promise from. It had always been an unfortunate reality that it wasn’t allowed to be theirs. Things were different now, though, and he looked forward to the life they were building together.

Most of his softness was currently reserved for Steve. He was working on it, on letting himself relax and not always feel like it was fight mode or nothing. The arm still wrapped around his waist tightened at the mention of moving. He already had him right there and getting kissed. He nibbled lightly on his bottom lip before kissing him again. “We could,” he murmured.

He didn't worry about how Bucky was with other people, as long as he could be himself with Steve. He'd always known that softness was there, that in so many ways Bucky was kinder and better than he was, even if the rest of the world refused to see it now. They didn't deserve him anyway. Steve wasn't sure he deserved him either, but he'd always try his hardest to protect that love and be worthy of it.

The strength in those arms made his heart speed up. It would take a force of nature to move him if Bucky wanted him to stay where he was. "That wasn't a yes," he murmured against his lips. He made a soft sound at the light scrape of his teeth, lingering a little on that kiss. He was trying to behave himself and wasn't sure how long that was going to last.

Bucky thought Steve deserved the world, certainly deserved better than him. It was hard to reconcile with wanting Steve to have everything he wanted. When he was what he wanted, but he thought he deserved better, something had to give way. He was just selfish enough in that case to give him exactly what he wanted.

He slid his tongue softly over that bottom lip and let out a soft chuckle. "I mean, you're right here, and I rather like you where you are," he admitted, always loving when they were like this. "But if there's more work you want done, I can be good."

If you asked him, there was nothing better than Bucky. Not in 1940, and not now. He'd always been the very best person in Steve's life, their friendship the thing that came before everything else. He'd wanted to be able to put him first in every possible way for so long, and now he could. He had everything he wanted. It was right here in his arms.

He let out a soft moan of longing and fought not to chase his lips or deepen that kiss. He gently rolled his bottom lip between his teeth and tasted him on it. He couldn't honestly care less about working on the house at the moment. He settled his knees more securely on either side of him, sitting up just enough to run his palms over the muscled ridges of his stomach beneath his shirt. "Much as I love playing handyman with you, I think I'm good where I'm at."

His eyes lingered, watching him and trying to ignore the flare of heat at least for now. It didn't keep his eyes from darkening with intent and need because there was no other way he'd ever respond to Steve when he was like this. His eyebrow arched slightly as he repositioned himself, breath hitching when he settled over him.

His muscles twitched and bunched under his hands, a quiet groan getting bitten off so it would reverberate under the sink. He sank his teeth into his bottom lip and tightened his hands where he held on to Steve. "Seems to me like you're still being handsy," he said with nothing but clear approval in his voice, "I think you are too."

He'd always loved the ever-changing blue of Bucky's eyes and how you could read his moods in them if you knew him well enough. He knew this color well by now, and it never failed to send a shiver through him. Bucky looking at him like that was more effective than a touch from someone else. He didn't need his hands to make him feel stripped bare.

He watched those teeth sink into his lip, his mind obviously on doing the same. The way his muscles moved under his hands made him want to see how long he could keep up those teasing touches before one of them snapped. "You sure about that?" He smiled slowly as his hand drifted higher, the fabric of his shirt bunching as fingertips drifted over his pec. Short of ripping it, there was no good way to take it off with him trapped like this, and for now he was enjoying the problem.

He knew exactly where Steve's mind was and his tongue darted out to soothe where he'd bitten down on his lip. He could sit there with his hands on him forever, it felt like. He knew neither of their patience would actually allow it to remain just hands forever, but that was beside the point. Eyes, hands, lips, it didn't matter what kind of contact.

"Most definitely," he assured him, even if it was a little more breathless than he'd intended. Steve had a way of doing that, making him forget how to breathe with a single look, a single touch. He arched up into that touch, a shiver tracing its way down his spine. "There are far worse things than this, sweetheart."

His own eyes darkened with longing at that gentle teasing. Knowing he could have him didn't lessen it at all. The wanting was always there, easily called to the surface by just a word or a look. He found everything about Bucky worth his attention, even when he wasn't trying to get it. When he was, though? Steve had no defenses.

He had no intention of limiting them to just hands. It was only a starting point. He pressed his palm flat to his chest when he arched into the touch, thumb rolling gently over his nipple. "I can't think of a single better one," he murmured, leaning down to brush his lips in the soft dip between his ribs. With Bucky was his favorite place. Everything else was just background noise.

If anything, knowing that he could have him made the want harder to tamp down. Before, it was used to being confined into a little box. Now, it constantly sat just under his skin, waiting for when he could get his hands on him, have him under his lips. All Steve ever had to do was walk past him and the man had his attention. He'd be embarrassed if he cared, but he enjoyed it.

A quiet groan escaped him and there was no ignoring the way his body reacted to Steve's touch. "I'd never dream of moving you," he admitted, his voice already going rough as he watched him. Anywhere Steve chose to be, as long as they were together, was enough to satisfy him. His hands slid up his back to run along the breadth of those shoulders, loving the feeling of them under his hands.

Steve had to constantly remind himself that he was a functional adult lately, fully capable of being out of touching distance from his boyfriend. In time, he thought the paranoia that he might disappear from his life again if he let him out of his sight would ease, but he wasn't sure about the rest. The constant skin hunger, the need to just hold his hand or reach out and reassure himself that he was there--he wasn't sure that was ever going away. He wasn't sure he wanted it to.

"We'd break something if we tried to go anywhere fast right now." He chuckled warmly, pressing another soft kiss to his stomach before nibbling at the edge of his ribs. He pushed his shirt higher and kissed his way up, following the path of his hand. His lips brushed gently over the swell of his pec and closed over his nipple, the other hand gently squeezing.

Bucky wasn't sure how much experience he actually had at being a functional adult, so it wasn't a reminder he thought about giving himself. He hadn't turned himself into a super soldier backpack that Steve carried absolutely everywhere. He didn't ever want him out of his sight, and he needed to touch him and be touched by him. He was okay living that way, and so far it seemed like Steve had no complaints.

"Not like it isn't already broken," he teased with a soft laugh of his own. His breath hitched and he squirmed lightly under him. He slid a hand into his hair with a soft sound of encouragement. His body arched up into him and he tightened his fingers gently.

Steve wouldn't object at all to a permanent super soldier backpack. He practically wanted to live in Bucky's pocket as it was, and he'd never complain about finding reasons to touch him. As long as it was mutual, he didn't see any reason to try to resist it. They'd more than earned the right to be a little codependent, and he didn't care about anyone's opinions on it unless they lived in this house.

"We could take down a lot more than that if we put our minds to it." There was more than a little mischief in that grin. Steve had no plans to actively destroy their house, but it wasn't built for super soldier activities and no amount of repairs was going to change that. It was a wonderful problem to have. He loved him arching under him, and he licked a hot line over his nipple, eyes on his face as he gave a light graze of teeth.

He had a solid plan on what to do if anyone who didn't live in this house tried to voice an opinion about their codependency. It was the only violence he would willingly be moved to. They had earned this a few hundred times over, it felt like. Being able to actually have it? No one was allowed to touch it that wasn't either of them.

"It would be one way to take out walls," he pointed out with a slow, dark grin of his own. He loved that look on Steve's face and he didn't even fight the shiver it sent down his spine. His breath was punched out of him and his hands tightened on him at the sudden heat. The graze of teeth sent his hands into Steve's hair and he gave a gentle tug. He pushed up into him, hips rolling beneath him and he gave a challenging arch of his eyebrow.

There wasn't a lot that would move Steve to violence anymore. He rarely threw the first punch, and he'd always try to talk a situation down first. He could see himself getting offended if it was an issue of bigotry, because if anything could set him off before and now it was injustice, but otherwise there just wasn't an opinion that mattered enough to be bothered by. Nobody here knew him or Bucky and what they'd been through well enough to comment on it.

He couldn't help a laugh at that suggestion and the mental image it conjured up. "I do like the idea of an open floor plan," he mused. That reaction was even better than he expected, and his hand tightened a little as he sucked more of him into his mouth. He made a soft sound around him at the roll of those hips, sinking his teeth in hard enough to leave a faint white imprint when he pulled away.

He chuckled and slid his fingers gently through his hair. "It's definitely something for us to consider," he offered, playful and teasing. The idea certainly had its merits, well both ideas. It wasn't like either of them were terribly hard to hurt and he was curious as to how much damage they could actually do. For Science, of course.

Gasping, he pushed up into that sinful mouth that was all too good at taking him apart. The press of teeth though, that had him groaning and rocking up into him again. A soft whine escaped him when he pulled back and he narrowed his eyes playfully, "Tease."

"Oh, I'm considering it." His voice dipped lower with promise, a slow smile crossing his lips. He'd be glad to test that theory with him, and any others he wanted to try. Obviously, for science. They could easily take down a wall, but the rest would take experimenting.

He couldn't help a soft laugh at the accusation. It was true in the moment, even though he had every intention of following through on all of it. It wasn't his fault that Bucky was so much fun to play with. "Somewhere else you want me to put my mouth, baby?" He licked over his nipple again, absolutely shameless.

There was no way to stop the shiver at that voice and accompanying smile. "We can test it whenever you'd like," he assured him, trying not to look forward to it too much. It would certainly be an experimentation that would be fun for both of them.

He would happily accept all of his teasing, knowing that at the end of it all, he would never be left wanting. He put himself into Steve's hands so easily and he never regretted it. A rough groan escaped him and his hands tightened in his hair. "Is there anywhere I don't want it?" he countered instead.

"You say the nicest things," he murmured, pressing another soft kiss to the swell of his pec. His lips drifted downward, his thumb running teasingly under the band of his jeans. He wasn't sure he'd ever get over the way Bucky was just as affected as Steve was by him. It was the best thing in his life that Bucky loved him the same way. Finding ways to show him that had quickly become one of his favorite things.

The distractions started on the floor and ended in the shower (it was right there, they might as well put it to good use), but they managed to get some clothes on and keep them on long enough to start dinner. It was a new recipe since they'd decided to branch out in their cooking, and Steve wasn't all that concerned about how it turned out. Better if it was good, obviously, but he wasn't picky about his food. They'd eaten a lot worse in the forties. The real point was being in the kitchen with him, sharing his space and enjoying the time together.

Bucky would never genuinely protest their distractions while they worked on their house. As far as he was concerned, they had all the time in the world to work on it and fix it up. The shower, though, was by far one of his favorite distractions ever and he looked forward to repeating that one in the future. Cooking dinner had quickly become one of his favorite activities they did, over everything if he was being honest.

His cooking had a habit of coming out better than Steve's, but that was mostly out of his desire for Steve to have all the good the world could offer him. He brushed alongside him with a small smile, dropping a kiss on his shoulder as they cooked together. "Love you," he murmured easily as he reached around him to pull an ingredient over to him.

***

Bucky was never a distraction. As far as Steve was concerned, he was the main focus pretty much always. It was everything else that was the distraction, but as long as they were doing things together, he wasn't bothered. He wanted a whole life with Bucky, and it was all the little day to day things with him that meant more than he could express. He spent so much of his time lately being grateful that they even had this chance.

Bucky had always been the better cook, he'd have been quick to admit. If there was a knack, Steve just didn't have it, although he'd improved over time and was willing to keep learning. He was probably going to take Finn up on the offer to show him a few things, since he wanted to be able to cook for his love. He leaned easily into that warmth, an answering smile on his face. "Love you," he murmured, always a little awed by it. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing or saying it.

They were working on building a life together, all the small and big things that it involved. It was the small things that warmed his heart, that made him soft, made him believe that this was actually going to work in their favor. He didn't know how to express the nearly painful happiness he felt that this was finally their life.

His face lifted from Steve's shoulder to skim softly over his neck and jaw. He brushed a soft kiss over his lips, his hand brushing over his arm before he pulled away enough to get back to cooking. The softness and the love remained on his face even as he cooked. "This is almost done if you want to get plates," he murmured as though he didn't want to disrupt their happy bubble.

After a couple lifetimes of longing for him, nothing felt trivial with Bucky. The smiles and the soft touches, watching movies or reading to each other on the couch, cooking meals together and holding hands, those were far from small things to him. They were everything. Steve didn't think he could go a day without them anymore, and he'd do everything he could to make sure they didn't have to.

His fingers hooked in the hem of his shirt, gently holding him there, and he tipped his head to meet that soft kiss. The need to pull him close and keep him there never really went away, but it was easier knowing he wouldn't be far and he wouldn't have to wait long to kiss him again. Steve truly was living his best life. He moved to get plates so he wouldn't be tempted to distract him further. "What do you want to drink?"

There was no part of him that would ever choose to withhold any of that from Steve. He needed the small things they were building their life on just as much. The soft, sweet, near constant contact was everything he needed. It soothed all the old aches that had formed so long ago.

He didn't want to move away, or let Steve out of reach, so he was content to lean into that grip for a moment. He was happy at the idea of more distractions after dinner. "Whatever you're having is fine," he assured him with a soft smile. It was easy enough to finish up, putting final touches on their meal while Steve got their drinks and plates.

He pulled out plates and silverware and brought drinks to the table while Bucky finished up. He wrapped an arm around his waist when he returned, never to be trusted to keep his hands to himself. Was it his fault that Bucky was so snuggly? He peered over his shoulder, pressing a soft kiss there.

"Looks amazing," he murmured before he let him go. As much as he enjoyed distracting him, he wouldn't let Bucky's hard work go to waste like that. He helped bring the rest of their dishes to the table and settled in to eat.

It was natural for him to lean back into that strong chest, relaxing and sinking against him with a sound of contentment. His head tipped to the side when Steve's popped over his shoulder, always content to make room for him. He loved the way he snuggled into him, curled up at his back this way.

When he was let go, he plated everything and helped carry it over. Once their hands were empty, he reached over for Steve and tugged him close. He curled his fingers into his shirt and kissed him, soft and lingering, before letting go. "Time to eat."

Steve never would have guessed that two century-old super soldiers would be so snuggly, but it was one of his favorite things about this new arrangement. That attraction was always there, simmering beneath the surface, but it was the love that made him absolutely weak. He'd take evenings snuggled on the couch with him and his nerd movies over just about anything.

He moved easily into that tug, smiling as he wrapped an arm around his waist and tipped his head to kiss him. "Did I mention that I love you?" he murmured against his lips before he let him pull away. He'd probably said it a dozen times a day since this started, and he didn't have a single regret about it. He took a seat, reaching out to brush his knee before he picked up a fork.

“Not in the last five minutes,” he said teasingly, when they both knew he was addicted to hearing it every chance possible. He and Steve both said it often over the course of their day and it made him warm every time. They’d gone so long saying nothing that he thought they deserved it.

He brushed his fingers over his hand with a gentle smile as they sat together. He took a bite and let out a pleased hum. His cooking was getting better and it was something he found he actually liked to do. “I was thinking we could keep watching Star Wars tonight, if you want?” Shuri had introduced him to the original movies and he’d fallen in love, immediately asking if she could make a lightsaber.

"Well, that's a serious oversight. I guess I have to step up my game." You couldn't prove it by looking at his face though, the grin impossible to chase away. He could maybe, probably, keep it to himself if Bucky wanted him to be less... less. But he seemed just as happy to be attached to his side as Steve was, so he wasn't going to worry about it.

The food was good, as it tended to be when Bucky took the reins. He seemed to enjoy it for its own sake more than Steve did, and watching him in the kitchen made him terribly soft. "This is really good. Thank you for cooking." It was never expected, but always appreciated.

He couldn't help a soft chuckle at the request, like there was anything he wouldn't do for him. "Of course. I'd love that." He'd love watching Bucky watch Star Wars, anyway. Steve had a fondness for Disney and musicals, but otherwise he could take or leave most films. He'd happily watch every nerdy space show on repeat just to see his love get excited about it though.

"Oh, definitely, I might forget," he grinned, unable to help himself. He never wanted Steve to be any different in how he handled him, how he said he loved him. Bucky was happy to spend his time cuddled up and affectionate with the love of his life. It wasn't anything he thought he would get to do.

He positively beamed at the praise over his cooking, his cheeks coloring slightly. "I'm glad you like it," he murmured. He couldn't help but look over at him, "I'm happy to cook for you." It was a sort of softness that he'd never expected to find an enjoyment in. Cooking, working on their house, it all brought him peace and he couldn't take it for granted.

There was a happy little wiggle that escaped him, his happy nerd heart shining through for a moment before he got himself under control. "We're at the new ones, I think, right?" They had a habit of movie nights, bouncing between choices for each of them, their love of Disney a mutual one. He had a love of all the sci-fi shows and nerdy things he could find, but he tried not to make Steve sit through those for too long.

"We can't have that," he agreed with an attempt at seriousness that was ruined by a matching grin. As tempting as it was to say all the time, and he probably would, words were nothing without actions to back them up. Love wasn't just this feeling that was constantly threatening to overflow in him. It was all the small and large ways they looked after each other, the way he'd always wanted to make it his business to take care of Bucky. He wanted the evidence of that love to be obvious all throughout their days together.

It wasn't an easy thing to make Bucky Barnes blush, and it only ever seemed to happen when he wasn't trying. Bucky had always been the charming one, with the right words and the right smiles. Pretty much all of Steve's charm rested on sincerity. His face positively lit up at his smile, and he leaned over to press a kiss to that warm cheek. "I always love your cooking, sweetheart." Every time he thought his heart couldn't melt any further, it found a way.

Then he went and did something so cute, Steve was sure he wouldn't survive it. God, he loved him. He bit his lip on a smile, his gaze flicking back to his plate because he never wanted to do anything to discourage that excitement. "Did we really watch six already?" he chuckled, knowing they had, although some of the middle ones kind of ran together. He'd watch six hundred to keep that smile on his face. Movie nights were as precious to him as cooking together, but it had almost nothing to do with the movie. Neither of them had had much time to rest or relax in about eighty years. Being able to spend more evenings than not curled up on the couch with him felt like grace.

"Nope, could be disastrous," there was no more attempt at being serious, he knew it was absolutely shot. Relaxing though, and being able to be so playful with Steve was something special he never thought he'd get. He also knew that was mutual, just like the desire to take care of and love one another was.

Bucky blushing was definitely part of his new life, but he wouldn't change it. He wasn't as suave or as charming as he used to be, but he still managed his moments. It didn't stop him from leaning into that kiss, the tips of his ears heating and pinking up lightly. "Make you eat beets," he muttered, teasing and playful while he willed the damn blush to go away.

He tried not to fixate on the sight of Steve biting his lip and only succeeded because he made him laugh. "I think you might have dozed off somewhere in the middle three," he teased, though he knew he hadn't. It didn't matter if he really liked them or not. The simply fact that Bucky was entranced by them was enough. "We'll only watch one," he promised with a grin. He loved movie nights, being able to curl up and relax, nothing in the world so far able to pull them away.

Steve didn't care about how he used to be. He'd loved Bucky then, of course, but it was nothing compared to how he loved him now, and it wasn't some idealized version of his past self. He wanted him as he was, charming or not, rough edges and all. Steve was far from the boy he'd known back in Brooklyn too. That kid would barely recognize him, and he didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it anymore. They had so much past that it would be easy to get lost in, but he wanted this more: every present moment with Bucky, and the future they were building together. Somehow, their edges seemed to line up perfectly.

"Nah, you like me too much," he teased, nuzzling gently before he pulled away, still grinning. Steve emphatically didn't want the blush to fade. If he knew what to say to keep it there, he would have said it, but he was still figuring out exactly how that one worked. The things that could make Steve blush were not the same things would make Bucky blush, and they were usually so innocent it made his heart melt. He wondered if it wasn't just the sincere compliment in it over something he was good at it and made a mental note to test the theory later.

"I'm a hundred years old. Old men take naps," he protested with a soft laugh. He would never fall asleep during one of Bucky's movies, unless it was one they'd seen a hundred times and dozing off together was the point. "I'm teasing, baby. I love your movies. We can watch as many as you want," he assured him. If he wanted to marathon Star Wars all weekend, Steve wouldn't complain. He could never hate anything that made Bucky so happy. He regretted a little not having more time to spend with him in Wakanda and being able to watch him nerd out in realtime over the technology.

"Do I?" He tried to keep a straight face and failed terribly, laughing lightly. His heart was soft and light with the sweet nuzzling, happy to have moments like this. In the light of such genuine compliments, ones he knew Steve meant with everything in him, he was absolutely weak. It was so different from how he could get a blush on his love's face.

He gave him a sharp grin, "I'll make sure and get the tennis balls for your walker and put a chair in the shower." It was sweet the way Steve did his best to pay attention to his movies, let him enjoy them and he knew that he was more enjoying Bucky's reaction to his movies than the movies themselves. "I'm okay with one at a time," he assured him, because he knew that it was as much about the time together and the enjoyment of it.

Telling Steve stories about things in Wakanda always made him smile, the memories fond for all that he hadn't been there for anything fun. "Eat," he murmured, soft and fond, taking a bite of his own food before they got even more distracted. Not that Steve was ever a distraction, he was always his focus in the best way.

"Pretty sure," he chuckled. He wasn't sure exactly how that was true, but he didn't doubt it at this point. Neither of them were exactly shy about their affection. The sound of Bucky's laughter made his heart soft. It wasn't as common as it used to be, and he valued the joking and the silliness in their relationship as much as anything else. They'd both carried around sadness and suffering for too long.

"Good, and keep those kids off our lawn." They were going to reach a level of ridiculousness where he couldn't stop laughing, and then nothing was going to get done. "Speaking of kids, Finn and Rey invited us to dinner sometime." He hadn't nailed down a specific time, not knowing if that was something Bucky even wanted to do. Steve would make whatever excuses he had to make if he didn't. He wasn't going to force being social on him, now or ever. He made sure to put more attention on his food. It was good, and Bucky deserved at least that much for going out of his way to cook.

“Alright, alright, you caught me,” he murmured fondly. Steve was literally his favorite person in the world, even when he wasn’t at his best. He didn’t think his love was perfect, he knew better than that. But it didn’t stop the love, and it actually made it better. He knew Steve, better than anyone, and he knew Cap. They were always different to him, parts of a whole that he loved and was exasperated by and everything in between.

“I’ll shake a cane at them for you. Wouldn’t want you to pop a joint,” he snickered lightly, wondering at how they were able to be this way. “Oooooh the kids want to do dinner? Who am I to keep them away from their Pops?” He couldn’t help but tease him about the young ones he’d basically adopted without Bucky around. He thought it was sweet. “I don’t mind, though,” he said honestly, a little smile letting him know he meant it.

"You're so subtle about it," he teased, laughing softly. He was ignoring the fact that they'd both been in the dark about it for almost a century. That was over, and there was nothing Steve wanted to hide from him ever again. That door was wide open, off its hinges, locks broken. He'd never give him a reason to doubt how he felt again, if it meant telling him a dozen times a day. Somehow, they'd both ended up in a world where they didn't have to hide. To do anything else would be wasting that opportunity.

"My hero," he said fondly, less teasing and more truth. Bucky had saved him so many times, starting with the day they met. He saved him daily from the sadness and the responsibility he'd been dragging around for so long. All of his happiest memories had Bucky in them, and so many of them were packed into the last couple weeks.

He'd just about managed to get his laughing under control before he started in with Pops bit. He couldn't even argue with it. "Stuff it, old man. I've seen you feeding that stray outside." He stood, pressing a soft kiss against his hair and picking up their empty plates. Steve thought it was only a matter of time before the strays were official pets and taking over the house, but he would never squash that sweetness in him. "Okay." His smile softened at the real answer. He'd like it if Bucky got the chance to know them too.

He couldn't help but lean over and steal a soft kiss at the teasing, feeling softer and lighter than he could ever remember. Teasing and being teased was part of his life now and it never ceased to amaze him. Nothing about his life was anything like he had expected it to be, or for him to even be allowed to have. It might have been different if he hadn't tracked Steve to Sallow Hills, but here they were.

He shook his head softly at him, the sharp lines in his face managing to soften in that way that made him almost adorable. "You're the hero in this relationship," he murmured, thinking of all the times and the ways that Steve had saved him, many of them without even realizing he had. He'd saved his body, helped save his mind, and helped put his heart back together.

Seeing Steve so light, so happy, and having real connections with people made him even more grateful to this place. "I can't help it, she's so pretty and hungry," he admitted, a little sheepish but unable to help himself. He leaned into that soft kiss and watched him for a moment before deciding to trail after him into the kitchen. He flicked on the radio and crowded against Steve's back at the sink, wrapping his arms around his waist with a happy hum. "Just set it up, and you know I'll go," he murmured.

Bucky was adorable, and when he put on that soft expression and those wide eyes, Steve tended to lose most of his reasoning power. He could see that he really believed that though, and he couldn't let it stand. "You are too cute by half," he murmured against his lips, leaning into the stolen kiss. "But you're wrong. You were always the hero in my stories." Bucky cared about him when no one else did, when he was just a sick, skinny nobody from Brooklyn. Even when he first picked up the shield, it was Bucky behind him with a rifle, keeping his ass out of the fire. He was every bit Steve's hero.

His hand curved over the side of his face, his absolute favorite face in the world, and he knew there was nothing but fondness on his own. "I love that about you," he said simply, abandoning the teasing in favor of the truth. He brought their plates to the sink to start what cleanup was left. They tended to clean up as they went, so it wasn't much, but he didn't like to leave it unfinished.

It was quickly abandoned when he felt arms wrap around him though, Bucky's body a long line of heat and warmth at his back. It was one of the most reliable ways of taking every bit of tension out of him, not that there had been much there to begin with tonight. He happily sank into that hold, laying an arm over his arms. He reached back with the other, fingers sliding into his hair like he could hold him closer, like close was never close enough. "Sweetest man," he murmured back.

“‘M not,” he protested quietly, not wanting to disrupt the sweetness that was filling their moment. He had only ever done what he wanted, which was look after Steve and make sure he was as safe as he could make him. In his mind, it was a selfish thing because he wouldn’t have survived without him.

It was easier to hide the blush when Steve was not looking at him and he could press his face into him to keep him from seeing how the simple sweetness, so honest it almost hurt, got to him. The simple fact that Steve allowed him this, wanted this from him, made him unbearably soft. He pressed soft kisses into his neck, trailing to his shoulder so he could tuck his face there. “Only for you,” he murmured softly. He couldn’t imagine giving anyone else this side of him.

The song changed and he smiled slowly to himself as he started to hum along to it. He slid his hands to turn Steve in his arms, murmuring a soft request. “Dance with me?” He stayed pressed close, turning Steve against his body like he couldn’t bear the thought of any space between them.

He hummed thoughtfully, not wanting to argue about it. Steve was well past the point in his life where he needed to fight about everything, especially with Bucky. It was one of those things where he didn't think arguing would change it, but that didn't mean he'd let it go. With time, he hoped Bucky would believe in his own goodness, and in how good he was for Steve. "I'll persuade you later," he said instead, a hint of teasing promise in it.

He always wanted to be a safe place for every part of Bucky, the softness and the edges and everything in between. There was nothing about him he didn't find worth loving. He tipped his head as his lips drifted over his neck. "Good, I don't want to share," he murmured. For Bucky's sake, he'd love it if he felt comfortable enough to share that sweetness with other people, but it wasn't something he needed. They were both happy. That was the important thing.

He couldn't help a smile at the soft humming, and he turned easily in his arms, happy to keep him close. His heart skipped, and he practically melted into the floor at that request. There were few things he could imagine denying Bucky, but when he asked it like that, there was no chance. He backed them gently away from the counter, settling a hand at his waist and the other sliding into his. He tipped his head toward his, brushing lips over his cheek as they started to sway to the music.

There was nothing that would have stopped the shiver that slid down his spine at that teasing promise. There was a lot that Steve could persuade him of when he put his mind to it, and he had no doubt that, eventually, that very thing might be on the list. Having someone believe in you that much, and so very willing to prove it, made it very hard to continue to doubt that after a while.

He chuckled against the skin of neck, loving when those little moments happened. He often wanted to hoard all of this away, to never venture out and just stay in their happy bubble and love each other every way they wanted to. "I'd never make you," he assured him, a soft scrape of teeth over the juncture of his neck and shoulder a teasing play soothed with another soft brush of his lips.

His eyes drifted over Steve as he turned in his arms, loving the look on his face and the way he stayed close. His arm wrapped around him as they stepped back to give themselves room, his hand curling gently around Steve's fingers to bring them to his lips. He tipped his head to meet his, heart stuttering at the soft brush of lips as they moved. Slowly, happily, he danced them around the kitchen, singing softly with the song and letting his lips brush over Steve's ear.

A shiver ran through him at the soft press of teeth, the dishes very much forgotten at this point. With a couple exceptions, Steve was happy to hide away with him. There were few places he wanted to be other than the safe space they'd created together. The house wasn't just an interesting project now. It was home because Bucky was there. At this point in their lives, he didn't think staying home together and minding their business was such a bad thing.

His heart was pounding like they were doing more than just simple steps around the kitchen. He didn't have trouble keeping up--Natasha would never let him get by without learning to dance, not with all the parties Tony threw back when everyone was still friends--but dancing with Bucky was entirely its own thing. It was calling up the ghost of a seventeen-year-old kid who was in love with his best friend and knew he could never do a thing about it.

He pressed into him while they danced, a soft smile on his lips with Bucky's voice in his ear. He didn't know the words to sing back to him, but he loved this side of him with all his heart. He used his grip on his hand to spin him slowly and pull him back in, and it was easy like everything seemed to be between them, like they had always been this way.

Bucky really didn't care about the dishes, was content to let them sit until the next time he didn't have a far more preferable way to spend time in the kitchen. It was amazing how quick it became home and not just the house. He would have chosen to hide away on his own, but doing it with Steve didn't feel like hiding. It felt like living, having a life they'd always wanted and hadn't dared to dream about.

He couldn't help but smile at how easily they moved together in this, much like everything else they did together. Dancing with Steve, though, like this where they were only two people in all the world, was a gift and a sweet dream all rolled into one. It was everything he'd ever wanted, and everything he thought he would never have. Time, as long as it had taken, was finally being good to them.

A soft laugh escaped him as he was spun out, his hair swirling where he'd left it down in his comfort. When he was pulled back, he pressed close and rested his head on Steve's shoulder, his face tucked into his neck so he could press soft kisses there. It felt like the most natural place in the world for him to be, tucked against Steve with his heart hammering from the sheer well of love.

There were few things Steve wouldn't abandon to spend more soft moments like this with him. He needed this like he needed air to breathe, all the soft touches and sweet affection they'd been missing for almost a century. He hardly ever actively thought of it as time they needed to make up for, but that need made itself known all the same. It felt bottomless, like he'd never get enough of him, never have him close enough. Maybe it would have been that way even if they'd confessed decades ago.

The sound of his laughter made him smile, and he wrapped an arm snugly around him when he pressed back in. He fit so perfectly in his arms that it was a wonder he ever let him get far. His fingers smoothed over his hair, and he pressed soft kisses there while they moved gently to the music. "Love of my life," he murmured. Of all of his lives. It had only ever been Bucky for him. It would only ever be Bucky for him. He knew he could never stand to lose him again.

He knew that he needed every bit of love and softness that Steve gave him and he cherished every bit of it. The need and want for him to be close would never be sated, he knew that, sinking into the depths of it easily. Moments like this embedded themselves in his memory and he was so happy to know that they'd never be taken away again if the two of them were together.

His eyes fluttered closed at the soft touch and a soft noise escaped him, quickly pressed into the soft skin under his lips. He lifted his face to him, eyes slightly shiny and he didn't bother to hide it. "Steve," he whispered, his voice soft and full of love as he pressed his lips to his, so much love threatening to choke him and he let it.

Holding Bucky in his arms and dancing in their kitchen was Steve's idea of heaven. There was nothing better than this; there couldn't be. His heart was full enough to overflow, and seeing it reflected on Bucky's face was everything he'd ever wanted. His heart gave a fierce tug at the unshed tears in his eyes, convinced as always that it belonged in Bucky's chest.

He put all the love and promise he could into those soft, lingering kisses. He brushed lips over his cheeks and forehead, and pressed his face into his hair, lips by his ear. "Marry me?" he said, quiet but clear. It wasn't planned, but it wasn't the first time Steve had thought about it either. On a practical level, they hadn't been together that long, but his heart had always belonged to Bucky. He knew that it always would. More time didn't do anything except make him more and more irrevocably his. "It doesn't have to be right now. I can wait as long as you want. But I want you to be mine forever."

It was as easy to sink into those soft, sweet kisses as it was to sink against him, to fall into the easy and deep love they shared. His breath hitched at the question and he made another soft noise as he lifted his head to look at him. His eyes searched his face, seeing nothing but serious intent and honesty there. His slid his hands to wrap his arms around his neck and press close.

"I've always been yours," he admitted softly. "I want to marry you, and I can't say I want to wait for it, but I can." He leaned in to brush his lips against Steve's, barely refraining from sinking into him entirely. "Forever sounds like a perfect promise."

He tipped his head so he could look into that beautiful face, and he knew it was a searching look too. He half-expected Bucky to laugh and tell him he was crazy. Maybe that was true, but there was no part of Steve that was joking right now. It didn't feel crazy to him. It didn't feel rushed. It felt like something that was always going to happen, and maybe should have happened a long time ago. He'd never be anything but absolutely sure about him.

He rested his forehead against his, hands sliding into his hair, and he couldn't help the soft smile on his lips at his answer. Bucky wanting to marry him couldn't make him anything but deliriously happy. "We don't have to wait, sweetheart " he said softly, leaning in to that gentle kiss. They'd waited their whole lives already. He'd forgotten all about dancing for the moment. Everything outside the circle of his arms had ceased to exist. "Forever it is."

Steve was the one thing in his life that he was always sure about, especially now. He had loved Steve for so long that nothing about it felt rushed or crazy. They both knew that this was what they wanted forever, he saw no reason to deny either of them that want. This was the most natural progression they ever would have.

His eyes fluttered shut at the sweetness of the moment, being wrapped in Steve and his love. There was an answering, happy smile on his face as he slid his fingers into the soft hair at the back of his head. "Then let's not," he agreed, his heart absolutely melting. He was going to get forever with the love of his life, in every way possible, and it was enough to make him teary. He paused and couldn't help but tease quietly, "You have to tell your kids." He pressed into another kiss, slow and soft and full of love.

If he could have Bucky, Steve had always known he'd want him forever. He would have been able to live with it, only being his friend, as long as he was happy and safe. There was nothing only about that relationship, and he would have stuck with him through anything. Til the end of the line. But this? This was every wish come true and then some. He'd never been happier that Bucky had a temper to rival his when he chose to let it out.

He ran his fingers gently through his hair, pressing soft kisses to his face. His throat was tight with emotion, the closest he usually got to tearing up himself, although if Bucky did actually cry, he wasn't making any promises. He huffed a soft laugh at the teasing, resting his forehead against his. "I can," he agreed. Nobody outside this room got a say in it, but he didn't mind sharing it with the people closest to them.

He melted into that soft kiss, all the love in it practically making his knees weak. The mention of the kids did bring up another question though. Steve didn't have strong feelings about weddings or churches or any of it at this point in his life. Maybe when he was younger, but he'd long since given up on the idea of getting married at all until Bucky walked into town. He was willing to go with whatever made him happy. He brushed another soft kiss to his lips, unable to help lingering in it. "How do you want to do this, baby?"

He loved feeling how happy Steve was, knowing that it ran so deep on both sides. There had never been anything only about their relationship, even when they'd just been best friends. It had always been so much more. Now, it was everything, and it was all he ever could have wanted. Steve's happiness had always been what Bucky wanted most, and being able to be a large part of that happiness? That was a gift.

Leaning into him, he just wanted to stay in the sweetness and love of those kisses. The question made him pause for a second to process it and he let out a quiet hum. Religion, church, none of it was really a part of his life and hadn't been for a very long time. Marriage certainly hadn't been anything he had thought of since before he'd gone off to war.

"Nothing fancy or crazy, don't even need a church," he said with a soft shrug of his shoulder. "I just need you," it was said so simply, so soft, like it was more fact than emotion, and to him, it was. He tipped his head, running his hand through Steve's hair while they spoke. "What about you? You've got people here."

Happiness was something new for both of them, but Steve would be glad for the chance to get used to this. He pressed soft kisses into his hair, swaying gently to the music while Bucky thought about that question. He wanted him to think about it, wanted this to be whatever Bucky wanted out of the experience. He was guessing that, like Steve, it had been a long time since he thought seriously about marriage, if he'd ever thought about it at all. He'd never shown any signs of wanting to settle down before the war, which made a lot more sense to him now.

"I just need you too," he said softly, unable to help the small, sweet smile those words brought. Steve had had about enough of living his life in the public eye. It was a part of Captain America he'd never been that comfortable with, and he'd be content to never make a scene--or the news--again. "They don't get a say in it. This is you and me." He was happy to include his friends here, if that was something they decided they wanted to do, but he'd be just as happy to explain nothing to no one ever again.

Bucky had always hated that Captain America took over so much of Steve's life, putting him so much in the public eye. He'd wondered more than once how he could tolerate it, knowing that he wouldn't have been able to. He cupped his hand around his jaw gently, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone as he looked at him. "Do you want your friends there, baby? Something small, relaxed, and absolutely nothing that anyone needs to know about unless we invite them," he suggested with a tip of his head.

"I am also completely happy if we just go sign papers and say our vows," he pointed out with a soft kiss. "Those are my options and you can pick your favorite." He figured that was a good compromise, instead of both of them saying 'whatever you want' at every turn. He didn't want a giant show of it, they didn't need that and never had. No reason to change anything about that now.

Most of Steve's tolerance came from knowing he'd made his own choices. He'd chosen to take the serum, and he stood by his reasons for it, even if it had gone in ways he never could have predicted. He hoped he'd done some good with the shield before he had to walk away from it, but he wouldn't deny that it came with a personal cost--or that he was happy to be in a place where Captain America was just a story, if it meant he got this peace with Bucky.

Getting married would have been a media shitstorm in their world. He would have weathered it gladly if it meant they got to be together, but he wasn't sorry that they got to skip that part. "Both of those are fine with me," he promised, lingering on that soft kiss. "Is it terrible if I just want this for us though?" He didn't mean to exclude anyone, and of course they would share it with them after the fact, but their whole lives had been under scrutiny for so long. This one thing was just about them.

Bucky never would have let the world at large have too much fun in their world if they'd gotten to this point. He had a little pride in how frightening he could be when it was necessary, and the vultures of the media were nothing he'd let close to Steve if he'd had a say. But here? He was very happy that there was no shield to have to carry, no legacy to have to live up to that buried the man who'd built it. He wanted Steve to have his peace, to have a real life.

A quiet, thoughtful hum escaped him and he shook his head. "No, baby. If you want this to just be for us, then we can go get married whenever you want to. We don't have to answer to anybody for doing what we want to with our life." His hand drifted through his hair, nails scraping along his scalp as he looked him with eyes full of love and adoration.

That was a tough one for Steve to wrap his mind around, that he didn't owe anyone but Bucky access to this part of himself. There was little of that real life since he picked up the shield, few things he did that were just for himself, and he could credit Bucky with most of those. He was the reason he'd picked up the shield and the reason he put it down and the reason he had any interest whatsoever in a normal life now.

And he looked at him with enough love in his eyes to make his knees weak. He tightened his arms around him, resting his forehead against his. "I'd take you down to a courthouse right now if it wasn't closed," he murmured, stealing another soft kiss. Steve never hesitated once he made up his mind, and Bucky had always been the one thing he was absolutely sure of. On the other hand, he didn't really want to leave their house or the warmth of his arms tonight, so a little patience probably wouldn't hurt.

He hummed softly in delight at the idea that Steve loved him that much, wanted that with him so much. Pressing into that kiss, he knew that this was what their forever could look like. "There's always tomorrow morning," he pointed out, pressing the words to his lips like it was a promise all its own. It was, in a way, because he didn't necessarily want to wait either, but he was happy to be exactly where they were.

Sliding his hand down his arm, he tangled their fingers together. He lifted their joined hands to brush his lips over his fingers, looking at him. "Now, here's the question," he murmured softly, "Barnes-Rogers, Rogers-Barnes, just Barnes, just Rogers?" He scraped his teeth over his knuckle with a playful look.

He couldn't help a soft, sweet smile at knowing that Bucky wanted this as much as he did, so much that he didn't want to wait either. "Tomorrow morning," he agreed happily, sinking into those lingering kisses. The happiness that had settled in him since Bucky told him he loved him was bubbling over. He probably wasn't going to stop grinning like an idiot for the rest of the night.

His free hand slid through his hair, his heart soft as he tangled their fingers together. He hadn't much considered name changes, but he liked hearing them said by his favorite voice in the world. The song had long since ended, the dancing mostly forgotten about, and he pressed him gently against the counter, leaning into all that solid warmth. "I love the sound of those. What's your favorite?"

That effervescent happiness that Steve had put in his chest when they'd started this just bubbled even higher and he knew it wasn't going to go away any time soon. Having that decided made him feel positively giddy with anticipation and he wasn't sure how he was supposed to sleep tonight. "Tomorrow morning," he smiled broad and happy.

His head tipped into that soft touch, always chasing after the sweet pets that Steve so easily offered him. He made a soft sound when he was pressed into the counter and he wrapped his other arm firmly around his waist. He tipped his head to press a line of soft kisses to his jaw. "I've always been a fan of Rogers," he murmured softly.

The best part of all of this was knowing it made Bucky as happy as it made him. Even without a smile that wouldn't quit, he would have been able to read it in every line of his body. Steve would fight wars for that happy smile. He had. He would again, but he was glad the fighting was behind them for now. He was free to put all his focus on making the best life possible for his partner. His husband, or very nearly.

He didn't plan on a whole lot of sleeping between now and then anyway. His fingers slid beneath the hem of his shirt, pressing against the warm skin of his back. His heart stuttered at the words, the possessive thing in him going fierce and happy at the idea. "If you want my name, baby, it's yours," he murmured, his voice a little unsteady with emotion. He hadn't realized how much he liked that until he heard it.

Bucky couldn't remember ever being so effortlessly, endlessly happy. No fights on the horizon for either of them, nothing to separate them, he had no reason to be anything less. The addition of Steve's love to his life, that was sheer beauty and perfection that he didn't deserve but was selfish enough to hold on to. Knowing that he wanted to marry him, that he had no intention of ever letting him go again, could bring him to his knees if he wasn't being help up by a counter and a strong arm.

He shivered at the first press of his hand to soft skin and arched into him, encouraging the touch. There was never going to be a time when he didn't welcome the feeling of Steve's hands on him. He lingered over a kiss at the corner of his jaw, his heart hammering and breath shaking at the realization of just how much he wanted that. "I'd love that," he admitted softly, sweet hope present in his voice for all its softness.

They could fight about what Bucky deserved, except Steve never wanted to fight with his favorite person. Bucky deserved the world though. He could do better than Steve, but as long as he was what he wanted, he'd never stop trying to make their life together as wonderful and happy as possible. That was as easy as breathing so far. In some ways, it felt like they'd always been this way, except that he kept having I can't believe my life is this good moments.

This was definitely one of those. His hands slid higher, never one to turn down that invitation. The skin hunger for him was a real thing and an end in itself, the constant need to touch him even just for mutual comfort one he didn't bother to suppress anymore. They'd both gone lifetimes without those soft touches or just having someone to hold onto. Steve wouldn't be the one to make him do it again. He could feel his heart racing, and he gently pressed into him, tipping his face into his hair. "Me too, Buck," he said, his voice soft and tight with emotion.

They had vastly different opinions on what they each deserved, but like Steve, Bucky hated fighting with the other half of his soul. All he could do was keep trying to be better, to be what he deserved and show Steve exactly how much good he thought he deserved to have in his life. He would be happy to spend the rest of his life doing everything he could to make sure their life was happy right alongside him.

He hummed softly at the warm slide of hands and his own crept to tuck under the hem of Steve's shirt while the other curled around the back of his neck. He loved the way they gravitated into each others' space for soft touches, as soft or as lingering as they both needed. He tipped his head to catch his lips in a soft, lingering kiss. "Oh baby," he murmured quietly against his lips, understanding and answering emotion in the soft words.

Bucky didn't have to try to be good for him, but he loved that they both tried anyway. There was something very special about that, each of them willing to accept the other in as-in condition, acknowledging the flaws without being critical of them, and still wanting to try to be the best they possibly could for each other. Steve didn't have to have a lot of experience in relationships to know how rare that was, or how lucky he was that someone loved him like that.

He didn't think he could live outside Bucky's immediate orbit anymore. He'd quickly adapted to having him within easy reach, or at least within sight, more hours of the day than not. He pressed that emotion into soft kisses and gentle touches, the closest thing to reverent that he ever got. "James Buchanan Rogers. My Bucky," he murmured, smiling softly at the sound of it.

Bucky didn't know any other way to love Steve. He'd spent their entire life accepting him and loving him exactly as he was, even when it had terrified him. Being loved the same way wasn't something he had ever expected to have from anyone, but there was something he absolutely knew about Steve. Steve loved him exactly the way he was, had always accepted him exactly as he was, had fought for him even when others thought he was beyond all saving.

The sound of what would be his name sooner rather than later drew a soft sound out of him, delight and need and love all overflowing until he couldn't contain it. "I think that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say," he said softly, the love of it clear in his voice.

Steve could barely remember a moment of his life where he hadn't loved Bucky. All the memories before him were hazy, and it seemed to him that love had always been there in some form. Sure, it had changed over time, and he had no doubt it would continue to change, but it was always there, the truest thing he knew about himself. Steven Grant Rogers was in love with Bucky and always would be.

That absolute delight made his face light up. That Bucky could be so happy to be his, to marry him and take his name, made him absolutely melt. It was all the reassurance he needed that they weren't rushing anything. They'd waited almost a century to be this happy. There was nothing fast about it. "It might be the sweetest thing I've ever said," he agreed with a soft laugh, tipping his forehead to his. "I might have to say it a lot."

The look on Steve's face felt like the sun breaking through the clouds, beautiful and warm and enough to thaw the coldest day. He'd long been safe and warm in his love, but that? That was something else entirely. His hand slid to tangle into his hair, the other sliding just a little further up his back, hiking his shirt up with the reach.

"As long as it's not when I'm in trouble," he teased, laughter bubbling up again. He didn't think he'd ever be able to keep a straight face if he did, and he'd probably never stay in trouble that way. Then again.... "Actually, take that back. You can full name me when I'm in trouble." He gave him a wicked grin before it settled into something softer but equally as happy.

He arched gently into those hands, always wanting Bucky's touch. It was a physical reminder of his presence and the love and comfort it brought, and he didn't think he could go without it anymore. His own hands curved over his ribs, tracing gently down his sides beneath his shirt. If not for the fact that they knew people in town who might occasionally stop by, he would have encouraged fewer shirts and probably less clothes in general.

He couldn't help laughing along with him, Bucky's laughter one of his favorite sounds in the world. "When are you ever in trouble," he teased, nipping playfully at the corner of his jaw. Steve could count the times he'd called him James in the past eighty years, and it was usually in some sort of introductory way. He knew Bucky didn't like it, and Steve could be a shithead, but not like that, not even when he was mad. Using chosen names was a basic courtesy. That grin brought an answering smile to his face, part playful and part just stupid-in-love. "Are we banking on me never being able to stay mad when I say it?" He already knew he couldn't. The sound of his name with Bucky's filled him with so much happiness.

There was something incredibly heady about the feeling of Steve’s body arched into him. He tipped his head to nip lightly along his jaw, unable to resist the tempting line of it. A shiver slid down his spine at the soft touch on his skin and he couldn’t help the sound of encouragement he pressed into his skin. He’d have been all too happy to give in to less clothes for Steve as long as it was a household rule. But then, he’d always enjoyed unwrapping his presents.

A playfully thoughtful hum escaped him as though he actually had to think about it. “With you? Let me see,” he drew out the word before simply chuckling and shaking his head. The smile on his face made him positively melt, always in love with the sight of it. “Now why would I do that?” He couldn’t wait for that to actually be his name, sweet excitement building in his chest.

It was practically an instinct the way he tipped his head into those soft nips to give him more room, the line of his body pressing more fully against him. He didn't think he could stop those automatic responses to him if he wanted to, but why would he? There was nothing about Bucky he ever wanted to discourage, and certainly not these softest, sweetest parts of him.

He chuckled when he couldn't come up with a single example. Steve was hard-pressed to remember the last time they had an argument, that one angry kitchen kiss notwithstanding. He hummed playfully, his hands sliding down his waist and lifting him up onto the counter. "Maybe I'll say it when I'm in trouble," he teased softly, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.

There was nothing about either of them that was inclined to stop giving in to those automatic shifts. He always seemed to need and want Steve in his space, to be closer to him. He brought the sweetness back out of him, something that had been buried and thought lost for so long.

His breath hitched when he was lifted up onto the counter and he wrapped his arms around his neck, his legs around his waist. "Oh, so you think it's going to make me soft to hear, huh?" He couldn't help but tease him back, tightening his legs to pull him closer to him with a small smile before they kissed again.

Untangling their need to be constantly in each other's space would probably take more therapy than they could afford. As long as they were both happy, Steve wasn't going to look at it too closely. He wasn't even sure he could blame it on the near-century they'd spent apart. Something told him that even if they'd spent all that time together as they were now, he'd still feel exactly the same way.

He'd always believed that Bucky still had that sweetness in him. His Brooklyn boy was the sweetest he'd ever met, far sweeter than Steve, and that he let him see that side of himself was something he'd always be grateful for. He hummed softly, hands running slowly up his thighs as he shifted closer. "I think it will, Mr. Rogers," he murmured, unable to stop a smile at the sound of it. It would make them both soft, and they both knew it.

Bucky only cared what a therapist said so far. Overanalyzing their preference for remaining in one another's orbit wasn't one of the things that made the cut. More often than not, he felt like Steve was the other half of his soul, so it only made sense that they would want to be that close as often as possible. He dared anyone who loved someone to go through the separation they had been through, to love as deeply as they did, and not be similar, though he wouldn't wish it on anyone. But then, he'd wanted to be this close to Steve long before they'd been separated.

He shifted himself to the edge of the counter as he held on to Steve, wanting to press into those strong, clever hands. A soft sound escaped him at the name. "You would be right, sweetheart," he agreed, his throat tight with emotion. His head tipped to kiss him again, sliding slow into it.

Believe it or not, it's kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience. Steve didn't know anyone else who'd been through what they'd been through and still managed to find each other again and again, and until he did, he wasn't taking any criticisms on how they handled it. Bucky had been through hell, and his own life hadn't always been easy either. He certainly wasn't going to deny him anything at this point that made them both happier. His baby deserved a lifetime of soft touches and sweet kisses and adoring glances, at minimum.

"I wouldn't," he murmured, hands wrapping around his thighs as he gently pulled him in close. "I'll only use it for good," he promised. He didn't think he could ever say those words to Bucky without them coming out entirely heartfelt. They both wanted it too much, loved each other too fiercely, for it to be anything else. His hands slid to his knees, encouraging him to tighten his legs around his waist, wanting him as close as he could get. It was easy to melt into him and those soft, slow kisses, his idea of heaven right here in his arms.

***

Bucky wanted to spend the rest of his life loving Steve the way he thought he deserved. He wanted to cook for him, dance in the kitchen, cuddle him through movies, kiss him softly every time they entered each others space, watch him happily from across a room. If he had his way, Steve was never going to doubt how loved he was. Other people might not be able to tolerate being around them for very long, but he was mostly okay with that.

"I trust you," he murmured softly as he shifted into his hands. It was so easy to slide into them, to put himself exactly where he was led because it was usually exactly where he wanted to be where Steve was involved. His legs tightened around him and he pressed close with a soft sound. He trailed away from the kiss, pressing his lips along his jaw in soft, sweet kisses. "Can we go to bed?" The question was a soft, sweet murmur in his ear, and sleep was the furthest thing from his mind.

He wrapped his arms around him when he pressed in close, always happiest to have him as close as possible. He'd spend his whole life with Bucky in his space if it were practical. Steve would always try to be worthy of that trust, always try to love him in every way he needed. He tipped his head a little to give him room, eyes closing and heart melting at the sweetness in that question, like Steve wouldn't drag down the moon for his pleasure.

He pressed soft kisses into his hair, simply lifting him off the counter in answer. It was easy when he was already mostly in his arms anyway. He carried him to the bedroom, nudging the door shut behind them with a foot and pressing his back to it to kiss him, still slow and sweet but with the beginnings of that heat that was always so close to the surface with them. They could revisit the dishes and the movies at a later time, and if that was tomorrow, then so be it. His only responsibility was to the man who would soon be his husband.

A soft noise escaped him when he was lifted into Steve's arms, his stomach swooping the way it always did. It was easy to put all of his trust in him and press soft, deceptively lazy kisses down his neck and back up as he was carried. When his back met the door, heat slid down his spine in reaction and it was instinct to meet that sweet kiss. He could feel the heat and matched it with his own, but the sweetness was still dominant.

Eventually, they always got to their responsibilities. Neither of them were capable of any less than that. But after so long of giving so much to everyone else, he was firmly of the opinion that they were allowed to focus on each other first in their own home. His hand slid up to drift through the hair at the back of Steve's head as they kissed, his legs wrapped firmly around him. "So sweet," he murmured softly against his lips.

Steve could easily lose himself in those sweet kisses, Bucky's mouth a whole world in itself. It was easy to give in to the heat, always so quick to flare up between them, but he loved them like this too, soft and unhurried. He hummed softly in agreement, fingers gently stroking the hair back from his face. "The sweetest," he murmured adoringly.

He kissed along his jaw, unable to resist a gentle nibble. He was feeling very torn about whether to stay where they were or fulfill that initial request to take him to bed. As always, he'd bend to what Bucky wanted most. "Bed?" He trailed soft kisses down his neck, in no hurry to move them until he gave the word.

He was happy to stay locked between Steve and the wall, always was. It made him weak in all the best ways. He tipped his head, a small sound escaping him at the nibble and he tightened his limbs around him encouragingly. He hummed lightly in thought, shifting against him.

“I’m quite happy right here for a little while,” he murmured softly, his voice a little husky already. He loved when Steve was like this, soft and wanting to give him everything he wanted. He equally loved it when they weren’t this soft. The reality was that he didn’t care how they indulged in the love and the heat, only that they were able to.

He'd never complain about having Bucky in his arms like this, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't love the effect it had on him. Finding all the ways to make him weak-kneed had become a favorite pastime. He shifted his grip, fingers stroking lightly at the soft skin beneath the edge of his shirt.

"Quite happy?" He hummed thoughtfully, trailing kisses to the edge of his jaw. "I think I can do better," he murmured in his ear. Steve was never one to rest on his laurels. He caught his earlobe between his teeth and tugged gently, his hand running higher along his side.

He shivered at that first soft touch, anticipation filling his veins slow like molasses. Heat made its way down his spine and he groaned quietly. “I know you can,” he admitted softly, his hand slid to cup his jaw while the other slid down his back. He knew that Steve could take him so far out of his head and give him the sweetest peace with it.

Curling his hand into the bottom hem of Steve’s shirt, he gave it a demanding tug up. The love of his life took his breath away so easily and he was so happy to let him. He wanted to feel him, always did, and it made his palms itch from the need for it. “I love you.” It was the most simple truth of their existence. Bucky loved Steve. Steve loved Bucky.

He shifted his grip so he could give in to that demand, Bucky's shirt quickly following it. There was a near-constant need to be touching his skin, and when they were like this, only all of it would do. "Oh, sweetheart," he murmured, sinking into him and kissing him, soft and lingering. "I love you too. More than anything." It had been the truest thing he knew about himself for a long time, but now that Bucky knew it too? Having that love returned? Absolute bliss.

He slowly deepened the kiss, his hands tracing out the now-familiar landscape of his body. This was how he wanted to know him, by heart or in the dark, better even than he knew himself, and still he knew he'd never get tired of this, of him. He loved all the ways they loved each other, but that they were able to be soft with each other when neither of them had been soft in decades meant the world to him.

He shivered under that absolute certainty, that sweet conviction. It was easy to believe him when he said more than anything because he had practically ripped the world apart to find him. His hands slid over bared, warm skin as he pressed into that kiss, sinking into the depth of love and care.

He would know Steve through anything. He had known Steve through his darkest times, even if he hadn't had a name for him. Even when he hadn't known himself, a part of him had known Steve. He was all the best parts of him, his heart and softness protected.

Steve rarely said things he didn't mean. When he said more than anything, it was the absolute truth. Bucky had been the center of his world for a long time. The only difference now was that he didn't have to hide it. He was free to shower him in affection and attention, and that was exactly what he wanted to do. For the rest of their lives. It was his business to make sure Bucky's life was as happy as it possibly could be.

He sank into those slow, deep kisses, totally content to kiss him forever. There were other uses to put his mouth to though, and he couldn't help the way his mind wandered to them. His hand slid down his side, thumb skimming under the waistband of his jeans, and he nibbled gently at his bottom lip, giving it a soft tug with his teeth.

Bucky was looking forward to spending the rest of their lives showering Steve in love and care. They had been without softness for so long, and they had certainly had to live without this longer than they should have. He never wanted Steve to live without it again.

A rough groan escaped him and he couldn't help but arch into that touch. "Steve," his name was a moan, a plea of need. His breath hitched at that sweet tug and there was no stopping the noise that escaped him. His nails scraped softly along the back of his neck and there was no stopping the soft invitation clear in his body.

There was a small part of Steve that was always going to worry they'd be split up again. They would never choose that, of course, but they hadn't chosen to end up in a different century or even in Sallow Hills for that matter. The reassuring part was knowing they'd always fight to get back to each other. He'd lost Bucky so many times only to get him back again. There was no way he’d ever just accept that now.

He would never get over hearing his name like that on Bucky's lips. Knowing the need ran equally strong on both sides filled him with warmth. He had to set him down to make quick work of the rest of their clothes. He pressed hot kisses down the line of his neck and chest, working his way slowly down his body until he was resting on his knees. His teeth scraped gently over his hip bone as he looked up, eyes dark and full of love. "Bed? Or are you good here?" Steve was in no mood to be quick about this, and Bucky's comfort came first, always.

If it wasn't for the fact that he knew Steve wasn't going far, he would have protested being put down. As their clothes finished being tugged away, though, he found he couldn't be disappointed at it in any way. He couldn't stop running his hands over him, shaping hard muscles under soft skin. As he made his way lower, Bucky groaned and dropped his head back for a moment as he took a deep breath.

Looking down his body, heat slid down his spine and he slid his hand through Steve's hair. "So good," he murmured, his eyes darkening and his voice gone husky. He slid his thumb over the edge of his jaw and shivered lightly. He was already so weak for him, and he knew this particular moment would live rent free in his head for a long time to come.

Steve would have protested both of those things too. There was no part of him that wanted space from Bucky right now, and he had every intention of having him in his arms again--possibly soon, depending on how long it took for their patience to wear thin. "You are," he murmured against his skin, a hand curling around his thigh. The best thing he'd ever had.

He kissed his way slowly up the inside of his thigh, his other hand stroking lightly down his length. He didn't think either of them could take a lot of teasing right now, and he didn't hesitate to wrap his mouth around his head and push down, following the path of his hand. He pinned his hip with his other hand and relaxed his throat to take him deeper.

When it came to Steve, his patience for being out of his arms was minimal at best and only held at bay by what else the love of his life got up to. The feeling of his hands on him anywhere was often enough to placate him and even drive his anticipation up. This, though? This was something new entirely and it made his breath hitch and his heart hammer in his chest. "Baby," he groaned out softly, his hands tightening gently in his hair.

He swore when those beautiful lips wrapped around him, one of his hands sliding down from his hair over his throat lightly before settling on his shoulder. He wanted to roll his hips into that sweet heat and couldn't stop the ragged moan of need that escaped him. Pinned by that strong hand made heat slide down his spine.

He couldn't be near him anymore without wanting to touch, and they couldn't be alone for long lately without it turning into more. Steve could blame it on almost a century of built-up longing, but he'd always been ridiculously attracted to Bucky. Somehow, he used to be good at hiding it, and that was seeming more and more unimaginable by the day. There was nothing he wanted to hide from him anymore.

He couldn't help a smile as he drew off of him, teasing with his tongue. His eyes were blown dark but full of love as he gazed up at him, his voice already going rough with need. "Do you want to move, or do you want me to hold you down?" He brushed a gentle kiss against the jut of his hip bone, followed by a soft nip. Bucky's choice, always. Steve would enjoy himself either way.

Steve had always been beautiful, filling him with a longing to touch. Now it was unfathomable how he had ever managed to keep it contained and hidden from anyone. These days, that love and want had free rein and he was far happier for it.

Stormy eyes were dark as he looked at him, shivering at the sound of his voice. A soft, keening whine escaped him at the choice and he thought he was more of a puddle than a person in that moment. His throat was tight with need, so his voice came out like gravel and quiet, "Pin me." That trust was solely reserved for Steve, as so many things were.

He'd had so many choices taken away from him. They both had, but Bucky especially, and Steve would fight for him to have every one possible now. This one was easy though. Hearing his voice like that sent heat sliding down his spine, and he couldn't help a slow smile at the answer. He probably would have reacted that way no matter what his choice was. There wasn't really a losing option.

His hand tightened on his hip, pinning him in place, and he gently teased at the soft skin where his thigh met his hip with his teeth. "So sweet for me." It was practically a growl, and he kissed over the spot before his mouth slid back over him, working slow and unhurried to take him deeper without letting his hips move an inch. They both knew Bucky could free himself if he really wanted to, but not wanting to was part of the fun.

He trusted Steve with everything was and would let him simply take if that was what he wanted. The simple fact that he gave him the choice, even in something like this, made him weak. That smile devastated him and he quivered under the attention. This felt a lot like winning and he knew it would no matter how it played out.

A rough groan escaped him when his hand tightened on him and he thought it was a good thing he was all but being held up. His knees were weak as it was even before that growling voice permeated his brain. "God, Steve," he whimpered as his hands tightened in his hair and on his shoulder. His eyes blurred over and he knew that Steve was going to make him fall apart so easily. He didn't want to get free, didn't want to break that maddeningly hot hold on him.

There was a time and place for that. Steve enjoyed having Bucky take what he wanted from him, and he was happy to do the same from time to time. There was something incredibly hot about that certainty. But he loved them every way, assertive and taking, soft and loving, and everything in between. There wasn't a single thing he'd trade about their life together.

And he could admit he loved seeing Bucky like this for him, knowing he could make the strongest person he'd ever met weak in the knees. He liked his hands tight on him in return, but he refused to be distracted by it right now. His body could wait while he set himself to driving his baby higher. He swallowed around him when he was as deep as he could go, unable to help a soft moan at the feel of him pressed so deep. He pulled off slowly, the hand at his hip still holding him firmly in place. The other gently widened his legs, fingers brushing between his cheeks before he followed with his mouth.

There was no part about their relationship he would change. The give and take, the support and love, it was more than either of them had for a long time. Steve deserved amazing things and he helped Bucky be as good as he could be, intentionally or not.

There were times he thought he could fall apart from just from a look from Steve, let alone his hands. Add that sinfully beautiful mouth into the equation and he didn’t stand a chance. His breath was punched out of him and his head dropped back against the wall as he forced himself to take a deep breath. His legs shifted easily for him and he couldn’t help but look down at him and drink in the sight of him like that. “Steve,” he pled, a soft whine of pleasure escaping him.

He understood that feeling perfectly. There were decades of looks Steve realized, in hindsight, that he'd misinterpreted. Bucky had always been looking at him with love, and now that he knew it, it could bring him to his knees. Add those clever hands and that sweet, beautiful mouth, and he didn't have a hope.

His thumb ran a soothing path over his hip, a silent reassurance that he had him while his mouth was busy with other things. He loved being able to take his time with him--or as much time as their patience allowed--the rest of the world falling away so he could put all his focus on Bucky.

Bucky had never thought he'd been that good at keeping how he felt under wraps, but he'd been proven wrong repeatedly. At least here and now it was safe and allowed for them to love each other, to marry each other. They wouldn't have been allowed it quite so easily back then.

He relaxed under that soft touch, easily putting himself into his care. His patience was getting better, knowing that they had all the time they could want in the world. Sinking into the feeling of Steve's hands and mouth working on his body, he let it all go.

In Bucky's defense, Steve was incredibly dense about that kind of thing. He'd kissed him on the mouth, and his mind had still tried to find a way to explain it away as just a friendship thing. He'd never been good at picking up on signals, and he'd never trusted himself to read Bucky right anyway. It always seemed like too much to hope for that he might feel the same way.

The way Bucky put himself so easily in his hands, that trust in him, was almost overwhelming, and Steve would always try to be worthy of it. He slowly worked him open with mouth and fingers, taking his time. He wrapped his mouth around him again, fingers pressing a little deeper, and relaxed the hand on his hip if he wanted to move now.

There was nothing Steve would ever do that would make Bucky lose that steady faith in him. He was the most steadfast, constant person in Bucky's life and always had been, even when they hadn't been together. That kind of loyalty wasn't common, and he still didn't think he deserved it but he was selfish enough to accept it.

He shivered in anticipation and need, soft sounds escaping him. A strangled groan escaped him when he was engulfed in heat again, his vision blurring from the stretch that was just right. Feeling his grip loosen, both of his hands slid into his hair and he rolled his hips, pushing just that little bit deeper, testing before he pushed back on those clever fingers working deep. "Damn it, Steve," his voice was wrecked with need as he rocked forward again, quivering from restraining himself.

Bucky deserved the world, and Steve would fight him on that except he never wanted to fight with his favorite person. He was fully capable of playing the long game though, and when it came to convincing Bucky that he was as kind and good and deserving as Steve believed him to be, his patience was nearly endless. It was the kind of thing he was happy to prove to him over time, every day of the rest of their lives.

He was prepared for that roll of his hips, and he couldn't help a rough groan around him. He loved the feeling of being absolutely filled by him, all his senses drowning in Bucky. His voice was already rough as he pulled off long enough to tip a quick glance up at him. "You don't have to be careful."

They had all the time in the world to make each other accept those unshakable beliefs they each held. Their love wasn't built on conditions or misconceptions. They both knew exactly who the other was, flaws and all.

He shivered at that groan, looking down at him. It would take a stronger man than him to ever deny Steve, especially when he was so damn beautiful that way. His fingers clenched tighter in his hair and he groaned softly before nodding. He stretched a thumb out to brush softly along the side of his throat. Swearing softly, he brushed himself along his lips with a murmur of, "Deep breath, then," before he pushed in, slow, steady and intent.

Bucky had always known him better than anyone, flaws and all. Steve didn't have to worry about that. He knew that Bucky of all people saw him as he really was, not Captain America or Nomad, but just Steve from Brooklyn. That he saw the whole person and somehow loved him more for that meant more to him than anything. They didn't love each other because they were perfect. Steve wouldn't want him to be anything but what he was.

Those tight fingers in his hair sent a thrill down his spine, and it was harder than it had been not to be distracted by it. He wanted this with him though, and if it meant ignoring his body a little longer, it was worth it. He tipped his head, eyes dark on Bucky's as he breathed deep and wrapped around him, his hand curling around his hip in encouragement.

In his mind, everything went back to falling in love with Steve from Brooklyn. That man had grown, changed, just like Bucky had. He knew that he would fall in love with every version of his partner, that he was the love of all his lives, and that was a gift all its own. Being loved the same way? It was everything.

Watching those beautiful clear blue eyes go so dark for him sent a shiver down his spine. He groaned roughly as he pushed slow and deep before pulling back and starting a rhythm that sent him just a little deeper on each stroke. His hands flattened to cradle his head and tip it just slightly back.

There was no version of Bucky that Steve didn't adore, but he'd admit that this one in Sallow Hills might be his favorite. It wasn't just that this Bucky was his, although that was a part of it--Steve wasn't at sainthood levels of selflessness. It was that this Bucky was happier than he'd ever seen him. Of course Steve was glad to play a role in that, but happiness was all he wanted for him.

He swallowed around him as he pressed deep, eyes fluttering shut with the sensation as he picked up his pace. He worked his fingers every time Bucky pulled out, a shudder running through him at the sheer heat of him. It was easy to lose himself in it, the hands in his hair keeping him grounded, and he moaned around him as he fucked deep into his mouth again.

Bucky didn't think that he could be nearly so happy without Steve in his life the way he was. He would have been happy with a life alongside his best friend, but not quite the same level and he knew it. All he could do was try and make Steve as happy as he was.

There was no stopping the way he swore at the heat of him. He pushed back onto his fingers, fucking himself onto them in equal measure. His fingers tightened in soft blonde hair as he fucked himself deeper before pushing back in answer. He could barely breathe from the need, could barely see from the way his eyes blurred from pleasure. That ball of heat kept growing in his core as he moved.

Steve wasn't sure he could get any happier than he was with Bucky. He didn't have to worry about that. It was already more happiness than he knew what to do with sometimes. He'd settled a long time ago for things not being outright disastrous, and this was so much more than that. He honestly hadn't known his life could be this good.

Having him like this filled some century-deep need that Steve had barely managed to acknowledge to himself before Bucky, one he didn't think was ever really going to go away. Needing him was as familiar as his own heartbeat. He loved him like this, filling all his senses, swearing and breathless with need. He swallowed around him, a shudder running through him, his other hand running a soothing path over his thigh. Steve would be there to catch him, always.

Bucky felt like there were a lot of years of settling that he wanted to try and make up for. Steve deserved to be unconditionally happy, but he knew that kind of happiness took time. They were just getting started on their proper life together, and he couldn't help but feel that things were just going to get better from here.

There was nothing that could sate this need, since he couldn't help but think it only ever grew. A ragged groan escaped him, his fingers tightening in that soft blonde hair as he rocked even deeper into him. "Steve," his name was a plea and a warning, knowing he couldn't last between that sinful mouth and his clever fingers. He didn't want to, knowing they could go at this for a while even with him being entirely weak for him.

He couldn't help a moan as his fingers tightened in his hair, a shudder of need running through him. He'd thought having each other would take the edge off it, but he'd been so wrong. Steve only ever wanted him more, in every way possible, from making him quake under his hands to cooking dinner together and watching silly movies on the couch. Every minute of their life together was one he wanted on repeat forever.

He swallowed around him, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of him pressed so deep. He was so fucking good for him, he didn't even have words for it, which was fine since his mouth was otherwise occupied. His fingers brushed a soothing path over his hip. He understood the warning, but he was exactly where he wanted to be. He didn't want Bucky in control of himself, perfectly happy to have him falling apart for him.

He swore roughly, feeling him moaning around him like he needed this every bit as much as Bucky did. He knew that he did, that it didn't matter how many times they did this, the want was always right there. Every moment of the life they were building together just added to it. Every soft moment, every heated one, everything in between, he wanted more of.

There was no way he could hold back when he felt him tighten around him. Steve was so damn good and it threatened to bring him to his knees every time. If he didn't want his mouth to stay exactly where it was for the moment, he'd show him every bit of appreciation another way. But he knew what his love wanted and it was so easy to fall over that sharp edge. It only took a few deep pushes before he stayed as deep as he could go, giving in to his orgasm with a ragged moan and watching Steve with dark eyes.

Steve did need this as much as Bucky did. He loved them like this and every other way they had of showing each other just how deep that need went. He loved being able to put every last bit of his attention on taking him out of his head and watching him fall apart for him. His hands tightened on him as Bucky quaked under him, eyes locked on his and throat working as he swallowed him down.

He drew off him slowly, pressing a kiss against the soft skin of his hip. "You're so damn beautiful." His voice was wrecked from the activity but worth every bit of it. He grazed his teeth gently against the bone and rested his cheek there, head tipped up to look at him. His hand ran a soothing path over his thigh, giving them both a moment to recover.

He thought he might just pass out from the sheer wave of heat and need. Steve wrecked him so easily and he really didn't have any defense against it. He didn't want one. His fingers slid through his hair to trail down his throat softly as he pulled off, making him shiver.

Hearing Steve's voice that way, knowing he was responsible for it and how it happened... well, it was a good thing he was a super soldier. His hand slid to brush softly along his other cheek, softness seeping into the heat of his eyes. "Baby, you have no idea what you look like to me right now," he managed to say. He looked like heaven and every sin he wanted to commit wrapped in the most beautiful package he had ever seen.

Steve's hand was firm on him in case he needed the support. He had every intention of supporting him fully in another minute, but he could always move that timeline up if it was needed. He wouldn't deny that he loved seeing him like this, so weak and wrecked and well-loved for him. It was everything he'd ever wanted with Bucky, and so much more he hadn't dared to imagine.

His gaze went soft at that look on his face for him. He brushed a gentle kiss over those fingers, his arm curving under him as he stood and lifted Bucky back into his arms. He couldn't stand any distance from him right now. "Like your husband, I hope," he murmured, his voice still low and rough. He caught his lips in a soft kiss, pressing him gently into the wall.

He loved seeing him as soft as he felt, knowing that every bit of their love and care was entirely mutual. A soft sound escaped him when Steve moved and he was picked back up. Instinctively, he wrapped his legs around him, his arms sliding around his shoulders. It never failed to affect him when Steve did that, everything in him responding with heat and softness and trust.

"You always look like that to me," he admitted softly, tipping his head to meet that kiss. He was happy to live in that kiss for a few moments before trailing his lips around his jaw. "Soon, that's exactly what you'll be," he murmured in response, silk and gravel and heat making up his voice.

He loved the way they wrapped around each other, no matter the location. He always felt better when he could be touching him, even if it was just a brush of fingers in company. Having him in his arms, the line of his body pressed to his, was that sense of comfort and rightness multiplied. Bucky had always felt like home to him, and it was truer than it had ever been.

That voice sent heat sliding through him, a reminder that he was only just getting started with him. "Yours, til the end of the line," he murmured, their version of for better or worse, and he had to admit he preferred it their way. His fingers pressed slow and gentle for just the right spot. "Too much? We can stop if you want." He knew they both take a lot, but Bucky looked pretty well wrecked already.

“Til the end of the line,” he said softly. It was the only vow that mattered. It overrode for better or worse in his mind because they really had already been through the worst. They had that long before they had the potential of being married and they would have it the rest of their lives.

He shifted down onto his fingers, shuddering softly in anticipation. “Don’t stop,” the plea was quiet with an edge of needy demand. He loved that Steve was careful with him, never wanted to hurt him. But this? Oh, he wanted this, wanted to feel Steve every way possible and knew he could never really get enough of him.

That promise was the only one he'd ever need from Bucky. Getting married would make them both happy, but they'd already promised each other forever, so many times. He couldn't help a quiet, rumbling chuckle at the answer. "Good, because I don't want to let you go," he murmured. He would have, and then he'd have probably needed a very cold shower, and Steve hated the cold. They both did.

"I want to feel you fall apart for me so beautiful again, and again." He pressed soft kisses against his neck, stretching him just a little more to be sure he was ready. They didn't always end that way, but he could at least start careful. He positioned himself against his entrance and lightened his grip, letting him sink slowly down onto him. Just that first touch of heat made his breath catch, and he caught his lips in a soft kiss.

"You never have to," he assured him. He couldn't imagine ever telling the love of his life no, particularly when it came to this. Cold showers were never something they would be subjected to. First, they were all too willing to give in to one another. Second, the both absolutely hated the cold with valid reasons.

A soft keening sound escaped him, his head dropping back even as he thought he was lost to Steve's beautiful lips and clever fingers. Feeling that kiss, he pressed into it, slow and soft as he sank down on him. His hips rolled to take him just that little bit deeper, "Then make me." He wanted to feel that, to know how well Steve could make him fall apart and crumble for him.

Bucky should absolutely tell him no if they ever reached a limit or something he didn't want. Steve trusted him to be honest though, and he trusted that this need ran equally strong on both sides. Realistically, he knew they were both nowhere near their limits. He wasn't even totally sure what those were.

He loved those beautiful sounds he made, and watching him sink down on him sent a shudder of need and anticipation through him. His hands slid to his hips, rolling them gently in response but not shifting from that maddeningly slow pace. "Oh, I will, baby. We've got all night," he promised in a low voice, unable to help a soft nibble at that oh so tempting bottom lip.

They’d yet to reach either of those things for Bucky and he was hard pressed to think of anything he didn’t want with Steve. The need ran so deep and so strong that it never really felt sated. Finding limits this way would be the most fun experiment they could possibly do.

He shuddered, feeling Steve and giving himself entirely into the pace he set. A quiet groan escaped him, that voice taking residence in his head permanently. His nails scraped softly down the back of his neck and he tightened around him at the idea. It would definitely be the best way to miss out on sleep they dealt with.

Steve could readily admit a desire to test the theory, if not tonight then eventually. He did have a bit of a competitive streak, after all, even if the only one he was competing with was himself. If they were going to lose sleep, and they often did for far less pleasant reasons, then this was the way to do it. He'd happily fill every one of Bucky's nights with happier memories.

He let out a rough groan when he was fully seated, all that tight heat threatening to undo his control, and he didn't want to let it go just yet. He wanted to follow up on that promise and take his time to see just how well they could wreck each other. He kissed him, slow and deep, and gave a gentle roll of his hips, giving him time to adjust.

Bucky would have no objections to testing the theory tonight. He knew they could happily spend the whole night losing themselves in one another. He far preferred it to anything else that might steal their sleep. Making far happier memories with Steve for both of them was a far better option.

He was okay if they kept hold of their control, at least a little. Otherwise, he wasn't sure how long they could actually last at this. His hand trailed soothingly along his back, soft and gentle rather than driving him along. Arching up into the kiss, he sank into the soft and slow of it with a content sigh.

That sense of contentment radiating from Bucky meant as much to Steve as all the heat between them, and maybe more. It had escaped them for a long time, and sometimes Steve wondered if he was fooling himself that he'd ever had it, even before the war. He wasn't really a content sort of person, at least not before now. That his favorite person felt safe and happy and well-loved with him was everything.

He wasn't kidding about wanting to take their time with this though, and he kept his strokes slow and deep as he sank into that kiss, fingers sliding into that long hair he loved so much and tugging softly. It was so easy to let Bucky take over all his senses, to focus all his attention on letting him feel how loved and needed he was.

Bucky couldn't ever remember feeling anything like this. There was no contentment or buzz of happiness from his past that he could recall that came close. Being able to give Steve that, though, meant everything to him and more.

He couldn't stop the shiver that ran through him as he kept up that exact pace. Those strong, clever fingers tangling in his hair kept him from ever wanting to cut it short again. He had worked hard to reclaim those long locks and make them his own, but the way Steve used them to love him sealed the deal. Sliding one hand into his hair, he stroked through it softly as he met every one of those strokes, soft sounds escaping him.

Steve loved his long hair in a way that bordered on totally irrational. He loved tangling his fingers in it when they were like this, and he loved playing with it when Bucky had his head snuggled in his lap while they were watching movies, loved the soft hair pets in the morning. He'd completely understand if he needed to cut it for his own mental well-being, but he knew a part of him would miss it. It was just part of the way he knew and loved him now.

Knowing he got to marry him as soon as tomorrow had set the emotions rolling through him, and he poured it all into their kiss, slow and deep and lingering, matching that unhurried rhythm. "You feel like heaven," he murmured, kissing the soft words against his lips. He always had, and he wanted to feel every bit of him for as long as they could stand it.

The emotion in that kiss made his breath catch and his heart stutter. His hands tightened where they were tucked into his hair and on his side. He trailed his hand up to join the other, his thumbs sliding along the corners of his jaw as he poured equal emotion into their kiss. It was almost impossible to believe that he was going to get to take his love's name and make it his own and it be entirely legal.

"This is heaven," he whispered softly, a shiver running through him as they moved together. His tongue slid softly along his bottom lip before he kissed him again, slow and deep. Focusing on Steve helped keep him from giving in to that building pool of heat that wanted to demand more. They had all of their lives for more.

Bucky could make him melt so easily. He wanted to take those words, this night, these moments and store them away in his heart forever. They were slowly replacing all the years apart with soft memories of love and home and family. "You are," he whispered back, gently running a thumb along the side of his face, his favorite face. There was no heaven without Bucky in it. That was all he needed.

He sank into that kiss, licking slow and deep into his mouth, a shiver running through him of pure love and need. He could feel his own body begging for more and didn't want to fight it, his rhythm going just a little harder and faster. It was so easy to get lost in him, the feel of him wrapped around him and the taste of him on his lips, in all the ways they could make each other fall apart.

After every loss, every separation, every trauma, they finally got to have this. Every sweet moment became a picture in his head, new memories to drown out the old. Life with Steve was everything he had wanted, and they were getting it where he didn't live in fear of losing it. They had proven, time and time again, that they would always find each other.

That kiss pulled a sound from the depths of his chest and he tightened around Steve. He wanted every part of this, of the love and need that just grew and threatened to consume them and they were so happy to let it. He shifted his legs higher on him and let more heat into the kiss. His world had narrowed down to just Steve: the way he felt under his hands and driving into him, the taste of him, the sound of him, all of it painted the world in glorious gold and blue that couldn't be outdone by anything that existed outside of him.

***

#chat: bucky #vvhite-vvolf #wreck my plans

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