#vox's assistant

[cupidsncheerios]

my personal hc about the radiostatic breakup is that it's technically actually papermint/eeliot's fault. like yeah its complicated and sad when it's vox's or alastor's or valentino's or all of the above, but i have the funniest progression of events in mind.

so imagine like a few decades into voxtek's success, vox and alastor are still friends but vox was super busy all the time so he got an assistant. papermint was good at his job and vox (shockingly) actually enjoyed spending time with an employee for once, so they usually banter when going over the new factory shipments.

"so we should change the newest industry line to the copper and pvc coated wires, and upcharge the consumer grade by 3% to eat the cost of-"

"wouldn't it be cool if your skin was coated like that? like, you'd conduct better and be harder to injure."

"...i mean. replacing my head went fine."

and so vox was very happy with his new combat-ready skin, especially since it's doubled all his electricity power.

alastor, however, was absolutely enraged when he went out drinking with his best-friend-and-totally-nothing-else-i-swear and he chipped a tooth trying to drink his blood. tv dumped instantly and decades long rivalry formed

[evevsy]

DAY 3. TRICK OR TREATING

[onesidedradiostatic]

I looked at the post again where the VoxTek employee rants about Vox's weird obsession and someone in the notes said Vivziepop needs to give us this guy's name from Episode 2 and I had this horrible idea

Charlie: "Aw, I think it's so nice that you want to join the hotel when you could go anywhere you please now that you're free! We're so happy to have you! What's your name?"

The VoxTek employee, shaking slightly: "...Alastor."

Alastor's already squinting at this point and Charlie is like mmmh what a coincidence! We actually have an Alastor here!

And the VoxTek employee stutters "B-but you can name me something else if you want to! T-this is j-just a name that Vox called me"

The sound of glass shattering can be heard as Alastor crushes the drink in his hand with this look of absolute horror on his face.

(referring to this post)

anon this is horrible thank you for this.

[hypnoticmoth]

When you work for Voxtek

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

I wrote about Vox being a gaslighter before, but let's take it further. Vox can literally brainwash people with magic. While the public seems oblivious, those who work closely with him must be aware—they see him do this to others daily. Yet, none of them have any memory of experiencing it themselves.

Now imagine Vox's assistant, Derek as I like to call him. One day, it clicks that of course Vox must have done it to him at some point, why wouldn't he? It's a random thought that appears just after witnessing another brainwashing procedure. This triggers a chilling question: when? Which of his memories are false? Or perhaps, how many of his memories are fake? He tries not to dwell on it—if he doesn't remember, it doesn't matter, right? There's no reason to overthink it.

Then, he casually suggests to Melissa that they have sushi for lunch.

She raises an eyebrow, surprised.

"What? You hate sushi."

That's ridiculous; he loves sushi. Sushi has always been his favorite dish. But when Melissa insists, and he thinks harder, he realizes he has eaten sushi only once—when Vox invited him to dinner.

Ten it hits him: Vox hasn't just manipulated his memories. He's changed parts of him as a person. Who knows how much of the original Derek is still there? Is there even a single thing real about him, or is he now nothing but Vox's creation? Does he have any agency in his life? And how can he stop wondering about it? It doesn't serve sanity to question everything. He gradually spirals into intense anxiety and dissociation.

He starts slipping up, and Vox eventually notices. When asks what's wrong, Derek breaks down and begs him to erase this knowledge and make him blissfully unaware of the pain and harm he's experienced. Vox sighs.

"Can you stop being too smart for your own good? Stop questioning, Derek, because this is the last time I'm doing this. I can't just keep fixing you, I'll have to replace it with a newer model eventually."

[keikakudom]

of course vox would hire a 24/7 on-call live orchestra/band for the resort

[berrycake99]

Babe wake up, new rarepair just dropped

[moth--blood]

if the subject of my brainrot isnt trans and/or utterly smitten with at least one other character i'm not doing it correctly.

[recyclin]

I might be a bit obsessed.

HES JUST SO BLORBO.

[dimneo1010]

Sharks aren't violent. Unless they get too desperate...

DO NOT TAG AS VOX x PAPERMINT/ASSISTANT, PLEASE!

[nunalastor]

yeah about that one ask with Vox’s assistant, I mean THIS

He's staring at the flat screen tv in Vox's pants

[neofox]

Vox's assistant is a cutey We call him Emory 💙

[todayimfour]

Uh oh new obsession

WHAT KINDA FISH IS PAPERMINT??

IM DUMB OR IS THAT AN EEL TAIL??

Is he an electric eel??? 😭💕

[onesidedradiostatic]

Imagine the Hotel crew breaks into the V Tower to foil the Vees' plans and they grab a contract they think is Angel's but it's actually some random VoxTek employee that they free and this dude's now at the hotel with them like "it was awful. he made me clean his Alastor shrine every day and I mean that thing is HUGE. And he made me sing an Alastor version of My Heart Will Go On every morning before work. I had to dress up as the radio demon when I cleaned the shrine." Immediate silence. Entire hotel room stares at Alastor. Alastor's eye is twitching, the radio static is getting louder and he looks like he just malfunctioned.

LMAOOOOOO THIS IS SO FUNNY. this guy joins the main cast

and he has a song number about his mistreatment from vox and how much he had to deal with his WEIRD alastor fixation. the deep cleaning of his body pillow. the radio demon cosplay he had to put on on some days. he's so traumatised by all of vox's weird alastor shit the very sight of alastor in the flesh causes him to spiral. it was a very emotional song number. it ends with alastor blank staring at him and then saying "what" with charlie sobbing in the background.

[romanaxe]

Literally just cause I thought their designs would look good together, but also Glitz & Glam would 100% try (and fail) to fluster Vox's assistant (aka my new blorbo)

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

✨Staticmoth wedding headcanons✨

Because I have a lot of thoughts but can't come up with the plot to turn it into fic

✨ Vox absolutely loses his shit. You would think that Valentino would be a groomzilla material but oh no no, Val just wants sexy dress and enough coke to last three days of partying. Vox needs everything perfect. He has his grand vision and is ready to tear with bare hands everyone who does not deliver. During the preparation time, he murders as many people as Val usually does. Velvette bails on being the wedding planner after just two weeks because it was seriously straining their friendship. But after a month, she's back in the game. Why? Because Vox strangled three other wedding planners in frustration, and things weren't moving forward, so Val was starting to freak out.

✨ The event is held at the Vees' Tower. I reckon they've got a venue suitable for hosting conferences and porn award shows.

✨ It's a grand event. I'm talking Grand™, like the Kim K and Kanye West of Hell kind of grand. But it's also elite, so the guest list isn't that long, around 200 invited people plus 50 ticketed spots for anyone willing to drop 100k hellish bucks to attend. Everything is dripping with gold and diamonds because "quiet luxury" isn't in the Vees' vocabulary. The whole affair reflects Val's aesthetic more, as it's Vox's love letter to him. Vox already had his wedding, and now it's time to fulfill his husband's dreams. So Val makes about 90% of the decisions without shouldering any real responsibilities. Which is fine by everyone because he's annoying as hell when it comes to picking roses, flamingo feathers, and starters. Nobody wants to put him in high-stress situations. Expect lots of red, pink, and gold, with heavy, decadent fabrics and neon lights; it's like an exclusive brothel meets the Las Vegas strip.

✨ When it comes to flowers, they settled on roses because they're Vox's favorites, which naturally made them Val's favorite too, given the sheer number of bouquets he's received. Vox, being the freak he is, counts every single bouquet he's ever given to Val. So, for their wedding, he ensures there are twice as many roses. Yes, he's a pathological overachiever.

✨ As for attractions, there’s a plethora of erotic dancers in cages and mesmerizing drone light shows. Karaoke, slot machines, live cooking stations, and all the drugs you can imagine. And let's not forget a fountain flowing with tequila. It's a true adult wonderland.

✨ Valentino skips the whole white dress thing and rocks a fierce red latex gown that's very Mugler but with a fetishcore twist. Vox keeps it sleek in a sharp black three-piece suit. His shirt's a bold blue, and his tie matches Val's dress. His shoulder pads are pointy, his waist is slutty, his ass looks divine. Oh yeah, about slutty waist - underneath the shirt he is hiding a leather corset, as a treat for the wedding night.

✨ Also none of them really have friends other than Velvette, just associates so there are no groomsmen/maids.

✨ Since there aren't any traditional churches or government officials in Hell (if there's even a government at all), Velvette takes on the role of officiating the wedding. Vox isn't entirely thrilled with this choice because there's always the risk she might crack a joke or publicly rib him, but hey, there's really no one else who could pull it off. I imagine that a wedding in Hell is also some form of magical contract but more about partnership than ownership. They do not exchange rings but blood sksksk also I don’t think that Vox can really wear rings with his claws? And they couldn't quite agree on a design that satisfied both of them. In the end, Val ends up wearing his illegally imported engagement ring from Earth, featuring four pink diamonds shaped like a moth's wings.

✨ Val's vow is, well, atrocious. It's the kind of thing that would definitely land him in one of those TikTok compilations of terrible grooms ruining their weddings. He mentions cream pieing Vox at least once. Vox at first freaks out but seconds later realizes Wow that's the man I'm marrying. I wouldn't want him any other way On the flip side, Vox's vow is immaculate. Crafted with the assistance of Voxtek's CMO and practiced to perfection, it leaves everyone in awe. He has out-of-body experience playing this role of prince charming.

✨ For their first dance, they opt for a steamy tango. Picture this: swirling red smoke on the floor, making it seem like they're dancing on the sky of the pride ring when the sun is setting down. Little do the guests know, the smoke is laced with drugs, sending most of them on a wild trip. The party quickly goes off the rails, but in the best way possible (according to the Vees’ standards).

✨ The cake is a five-tier monstrosity with five different flavors: tres leches and chocolate-cherry chosen by Val, confetti cake and strawberry cheesecake chosen by Vox and Red Velvet for Velvette because she couldn't shut up about it To top it all off, there's a big chocolate figure of Vox and Valentino dancing. Val is later caught drunk, eating it with his bare hands like the filthy animal he is.

✨ Velvette’s wedding gift is a pair of customized matching guns with small engravings that read "Partners in Crime."

✨ Valentino pulls off a surprise special pole dance performance as a wedding gift for his husband. Let's just say it's scorching hot and leaves at least 50 guests with, uh, visible excitement. Later on, things almost escalate to a full-on table bang, but...

✨ Velvette spends the entire evening reminding them that they can't just vanish to consummate their marriage because this whole party took months of preparations, and they need to be present. After all, people paid good money to be around them. The threat of cock cages hangs over their heads, but they promise to behave. However, Val being the horny beast he is, ends up taking Vox to the bathroom for a quickie anyway. Velvette decides to let it slide this time.

✨ At least 20 casualties mark the night. Vox ends up zapping one of the guests who gets a bit too clingy with Val during the dance. Meanwhile, Val gets into a brawl and, well, let's just say it doesn't end well for the other guy. Surprisingly, everyone seems to be having a great time, but hey, these are the Vees' colleagues we're talking about—they thrive on violence and sex.

✨ Yeah, there's no shortage of sex at this party. With a guest list mainly consisting of businesspeople, adult performers, and mobsters, tensions escalate rapidly. By around 3 A.M., half of the party is busy getting down and dirty in every corner imaginable.

✨ When Vox reaches the perfect level of drunkenness, he seizes control of the DJ station. Surprisingly, he's a natural, dropping beats like a pro and having an absolute blast. Val, meanwhile, goes absolutely wild watching him, thrilled to see Vox letting loose and embracing his creative side.

✨ Derek, Vox's assistant, is the odd one out, the only low-status person to snag an invite because Vox felt kinda generous. But truth be told, Derek hates the idea and wasn't keen on attending. However, when Melissa caught wind of his invitation, she practically dragged him there to be his plus one, desperate to get closer to Velvette. Derek's terrified of most of the guests, but Melissa's over the moon. She later fucks him as a reward for being a very brave boy. Angel is not invited because he would ruin mood of both grooms.

✨ Valentino had prepared the filthiest, kinkiest, most elaborate wedding night, but it doesn't go as planned. Surprisingly, things turn out very vanilla for their standards, with a lot of missionary, eye contact, and hand-holding. After 16 hours of non-stop action, they're both too exhausted to even think about getting creative.

Thank you @purrpleowl @watcherofeternalflame @canadianlucifer @aroromantic @malu897 @staticmothed @chaggieslovechild @gumm1defloor @mayflowersfly for your thoughts!