#vox just HOWLING with laughter

[weebsinstash]

So, hear me out, but; what if y/n was totally aware that Miguel is into them? It's flattering, having this huge, incredibly dangerous man that's really obviously weak in the knees when you give him doe eyes, or lean over him and press your chest up against his back to point at something on his screen. You never treat it seriously, always flitting in and out of Nueva York and in and out of Miguel's reach. Teasing, flirting, but never going further than that, simply enjoying the attention and warm fuzzies that come with making a man break the mug he's holding because you stretched and your shirt rode up enough to expose your belly.

And it's not like he's gonna do anything bad! It's just flirting, and he's a fellow Spiderperson! You're all good people here... Right?

This is kind of different but similar but, I find myself drawn to Reader inserts/characters that like, maybe if they don't hate themselves, are like inherently incapable of even considering that someone might like them romantically, like you're not constant gloom and doom but you find the concept of someone loving you romantically outright wacky crazy

Miguel throws a lil tiny experimental flirt towards Reader to test the waters, and Reader flirts right back because they think he's JOKING. Miguel takes that as a sign and starts giving you more compliments and little flirtatious remarks and you just think this is like, platonic teasing, that he's ribbing you, you think Its Like A Friend Thing Like A Gimmick, and it takes him a while to notice you have absolutely no idea he's being 2099% serious when he makes those corny comments about how he gets lost in your eyes, saying shit like he's the hunky male lead from a telenovela or something

Combine this with the alternative dangerously risky concept of "Reader who jokingly says foul/raunchy shit" which is also a Val/Reader concept I've had. But like. Idk. Miguel sees you slurping a soda or sweet drink or idk even smoking and he jokes like "wow those are some lungs" and without blinkijg before you can even consider the consequences you hit him with "yeah I can suck dick like this too" and he chokes on his own food in shock, red as a tomato. Or Reader jokingly slaps his butt like some real football locker room go team shit or maybe you're teasing him and telling him he's "fat" and he has to excuse himself while the skin is still stinging because, oh my GOD did you just give him the biggest hard-on and it's about to EXPLODE--

Just accidentally making him totally crazy about you because you're literally too doubtful of him potentially having feelings for you or being interested in you in any capacity besides platonically that you accidentally act your unhindered full charisma self. You're too doubtful of him loving you to be self conscious and embarrassed of anything you say or do and think he just sees you as like, a sibling. Someday you'll learn to regret all those times you jokingly kissed him on the cheek because you thought it would gross him out or the time you got too drunk on spiked eggnog at the Christmas party and kissed him right on the mouth, but like, almost as you would a brother or a cat, as you coo how handsome he is, hes such a pretty boy, and "why hasn't he found himself a wife yet-- wait shit I am so sorryyyyyyyy i forgot 😥" because. You know. poor guy. But also. Gotta love the dilf factor

Ughhhhhh there really are a lot of us feeling the "baby trapping" energy from this man. Miguel who pokes holes in condoms because the second you get pregnant "oh, in that case well, I'll take responsibility and marry you and we can raise the baby :)" which I mean, considering his losses that's its own significant undertaking for him, that entire process and line of thinking is some sort of combination "healing" while getting ten times worse. Not to say he doesn't adore you or the thought of having kids with you, just... he might not be considering the most noble of methods anymore, for anything really. Getting drinks with you and biding his time until the alcohol slowly loosens you up and he gets you alone and you're too tipsy and sex hungry to stop and realize he isn't using protection until he's, you know, finishing inside of you. He'll use a drunken one night stand to try and weasel his way into dating you, if you're not already pregnant from that one night. I mean shit he's just so like large and imposing and just, God, he's hot though, I feel like it would be so hard to not visibly be flustered at the very least, and he'll use any reactions you make as cues for what he can try next. Even just suddenly grabbing your hips or waist or sides and making you suddenly squeak and he can tell by the look on your face that he's totally getting you hot even if maybe you're embarrassed and might not inherently want to act on anything (yet? Imagine wanting that Thick Dilf Dick and being physically attracted to him and respecting him and so you legitimate pursue him if only hust for sex and somehow you Accidentally Unlock The Crazy In Him)

One day you think he's just a harmless coworker, the next day you're finding he's got extensive stalker ass records for you, pictures, videos, just surveillance things, and he's not quite as Charming and Valiant to you anymore. In fact you're just about starting to realize all those comments he made that made you swoon before are now starting to make your skin crawl, but hey, just like you stumbled upon his secret, he stumbles upon you and catches you red handed, and well, he's sorry you found out this way but he was going to confess to you more seriously eventually right? Is THIS enough of a clear signal for you yet?

[wiggly-giggly]

TK Headcanons — Vox

-> he is definitely a switch, most definitely ler-leaning. about 60% a ler, and 40% a lee.

-> this man has claws on his hands. literal sharp, perfectly teasy claws at the ready at any hour of the day. they are perfect tools, and he knows how to use them. what can he say? he’s been ,, practising,

-> probably would only tickle velvette and valentino, and definitely a partner if he had one that isn’t either of the two prior mentioned.

-> he’s such a tease, dear god. he wouldn’t really compliment his lee’s laughter unless he was close with them, but he will make remarks and comments on how they react to his methods.

-> “wow! this is a bad spot, huh? look at you! you’re practically red! you can’t be this fucking ticklish, can you? now, i wonder what happens if i move over here?”

-> he is one for the chase. and he’s not going to play fair. here’s your friendly reminder that he can materialize himself into a simple bolt of lightning. vox will let you run for a short while, until you’re out of his sight , or until you think that you’re safe. and then he will materialize himself, sending himself over in front of you, and bask in your shocked reaction.

-> we’ve mentioned this in a different post, but say vox is alternatively not up to chase you around, let alone sneak up on you or launch an overt attack. he will find a way to trace and skitter his claws of fingers on your skin with one hand, the other being more preoccupied with what he is doing . maybe he’s easing a book, maybe he’s looking over files. but nothing is stopping that smirk from growing on his screen. and he’ll act like he’s not doing anything either.

-> “hm? i don’t get what’s so funny over there, you should be doing your work. it’s too early to be making so much noise.”

-> okay okay heading on to more lee headcanons, his antenna will make him MELT. wiggle your fingers on it, and he will stumble/fall. he’s lucky he’s so tall ; no one will be able to access it in day to day situations. unless he’s getting wrecked.

-> he has a laugh akin to that of a boisterous one, maybe even a cackle. if he is tickled long enough, it becomes more staticky.

-> hips, hips, HIPS, kings queens and in betweens. his hips are sooooo, so bad. they make the guy howl , or his voice crack more. focus on this area long enough, and he is sure to bluescreen in minutes.

-> okay, his shoulders and upper back? these will sent him into a giggle fit if touched/tickled lightly. you need to squeeze his shoulders if you want to get him to actually laugh. that is, if you get him to agree to a shoulder massage. he’s usually got his guard up about this kind of stuff, unless he is tired .

-> honestly, if you try to tickle him when he is more on guard, he’s definitely going to pretend that he can’t feel it and ask what you’re doing — maybe even sporting a grin before he plots to turn the tables over onto you.

-> his ribs makes him squeallll, just a fun fact! so do the backs of his knees <3. but, vox (again) usually has his guard up , and will most likely catch you if you try to take him by surprise. the spaces between his ribs are worse, and his body will jerk as if he has been shocked.

-> if he’s being tickled, he will (moreso emptily) threaten his ler(s) through his laughter, unless he is talking about revenge here. oh no sir, he will seek that out once he has the chance to. but , as long as he is close with the people that are making him fluster and scream with laughter , he will not truly mean those threats that pour from his lips.

-> vox genuinely does like aftercare after his ler has had their fix. it’s not like he’d go actively asking for it afterward, nor will he say that he likes it, but he will be grateful if he is given even a douse of aftercare after a round or two of tickling.

[kit-williams]

Run rabbit run

YANDERE NIGHT LORD RAPTOR TIME

Also trying out this mood board shit please lemme know if its good

tw: Yandere, kidnapping, He's a fucking Night Lord but this is pretty chill, dialogue heavy will probably have to write a follow up for this one.

He watched from his perch the screaming and the crying. But Ghosk Sevyrarek always had a good eye for the unusual like the leggy little thing sliding against the pavement. Pushing what the baseline human body was capable of... his black eyes raking over those thigh muscles as they are pushed to the limit of human ability. He watched the prey driven members of the warband rush after the little rabbit.

Oh this wasn't just a normal human he figured watching how they cleared a jump with ease as three night lords rushed after like newly turned to chaos space wolves. He rolled his eyes at the display of their mindlessness knowing full well what would happen to this darling... he blinked at the thought. When was the last time he called anything a darling....

Nostromo... He recoiled at feeling nostalgic as that would only bring guilt. His decent mood felt soured... it wasn't the rabbit's fault as much as he wanted to blame the darling. Oh she very much was a darling... a pretty thing a pretty little rabbit. He could swoop down and stop the neophytes playtime with just a quick snap of her neck like a good hunter would.

He was losing fun with the warband... Ghosk figured he would lend his services to another warband of brothers... and then another... and then another. He snarled as he eyes watched the little leggy darling. Murder and torture was no longer giving him any thrill and more and more often he found himself feeling the barest emotion of regret. Coward... he hears some foul voice in his mind whisper.

The pretty rabbit was getting tired she was struggling to make those turns... her lungs were burning up probably. His leathery wings spread into the smoke licked night sky as he dove from his perch. She couldn't do it any more! She physically couldn't run anymore and she turned to look at the three monsters with glowing red eyes and skull faces. How they howled with laughter and glee purring and cooing what they would do to her.

The pavement exploded behind her as all she had time was to look behind her... maybe maybe the Emperor did send an angel? But with the leathery wings that came out of the smoke she wondered if they were right... there was no Emperor here. Ghosk ignored the vox messages as he grinned with glee down at the little rabbit before he grabbed her and jumped into the air letting her scream in fear.

"Let go of me!" She screamed.

"Well if you say so." Ghosk cooed and dropped her watching the wind rip through her hair before he dove after her and twirled her back into his arms. "Thought about it... maybe not the best place to let you go." He say laughing.

He played this game with her flying higher and higher and dropping her or tossing her around. Her reuniting with his armor was causing her to bruise and the next time he tried to drop her he watched her cling onto him. "Aww little rabbit are you done flying with me?" He put his hands under her arms and brought her close to his face to have her nuzzle his helm.

He watched her gag at the smell of death coating him but he listened to her whimper, "Please if you're going to kill me just let me go."

"See that's the fun part little rabbit! I don't know if I'm going to kill you yet. I could... though I might not." He says landing on a building with a huff as he sits her down, delicately placing a claw under her chin, "Now if you want your death to be slow and agonizing I would recommend you move from this spot. Got it?"

He watched her nod and he pat her head like the good girl she was. "Now where was I..."

"You said you might not kill me?" His little rabbit spoke as he watched her massage those delicious legs of hers.

"Yes I might not because you little rabbit bring up pesky little memories."

She gave Ghosk a curious look. Ghosk on the other hand pulled off his helmet and shook some of his hair free. "You know you'll probably just get hair in your mouth when you put that helmet back on." His little rabbit squeaked out.

"Oh feeling a bit mouthy then pet?"

"Listen you say I bring back memories. I assume you're just going to kill me in a different way."

"Awww pet do you trust me that little?" He cooed over at her and she just gives him a 'really' look. "No I'm not going to kill you yet." He watches her roll her eyes. Oh he's in a good mood! He likes sassy little darlings though you've half resigned yourself to a fate he has yet to decide. What a pretty little darling you are.

"Alright I'll bite..." He watches her pause as she makes a disgusted face as he returns the look with something more lewd at her suggestion, "Um... I bring back memories."

"Yes you do." Ghosk becomes serious as he paces slightly, "Pesky little memories and feelings of a life long long gone. Yet Oh I don't know... maybe I'm just bored with all of this." He gestures to the burning city though for him he gestures to the dropship with his "brothers" god... the Iron Warriors feel like they have more brother hood... no the fucking World Eaters have far more comradery than he does with his supposed brothers.

"Why don't you just go then?" She holds back a groan as she rubs her sore legs but she looks up at her "savior". "If you're bored with it I'm certain the Emperor can forgive you right?"

Ghosk threw his head back and laughed hard when he finally calmed down he tried to compose himself, "Oh you're a funny little thing. He walked over and his right wing grabbed her and picked her up as she squirmed obviously freaked out by the way the membrane hugged her. "Careful little one... I've suffocated someone with my wings try not to squirm too much." He said looking over the edge before jumping down the few stories. "Now where were we... right. I was laughing at your suggestion. But I might move on... just I hardly have anything holding me here." He looked to his rabbit tucked into his wing as it curled around her like a large hand just holding her and caressing her with its thumb as he looked to her.

"What do you want me to say? That you shouldn't go? Oh yeah no totally stay here with the rest of the psychopaths."

"See that's what I don't want to do. I'm just so bored with it." Ghosk said with some dramatics.

"Then I guess you can leave them behind and we can part on friendly terms."

He dramatically turned his head toward her and cocked it to the side. "And leave my dear little rabbit at the mercy of wolves who will most likely break you in many many ways." He cooed as she shrank slightly.

"I have a feeling you're going to break me too."

He pursed his lips for a moment tapping his chin. "I might try that consent thing. But no my rabbit... you're not leaving my side. We're on this journey of self discovery together! Won't it be fun?"

He hummed as he walked past his brothers holding his prize and put his helmet back on his head and felt annoyingly amused... his little rabbit was right... he did get some of his hair caught in his mouth. "

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

CONCEPT

Show us Alastor and Mimzy making up by getting into deeply drunken and destructive shenannigans that result in at least two major explosions, a fire, several levelled blocks and more dead sinners than you can imagine

Neither of them could legally drive when alive, and never bothered to learn when they arrived in hell, so that's also extremely dangerous

Husk is initially sent to try and stop them, but he's bribed with The Good Drinks and ends up whooping in the backseat of a car whose windscreen is more blood and viscera than it is glass now

Show us Angel talking Vaggie down from going to deal with them, because Charlie is horrified at the carnage as Voxtech has cottoned on to the situation and is pretending this is some sort of rampage

Vox is trying to use the right angles, but its obvious the overlord involved is just having a good time

Still, they're heading a tad too close to the territories of the few overlords they have good standing with (Zestial, Carmilla, hells, they knocked over Susan's mailbox in Cannibal Town and only hers so Rosie is Not Pleased because the woman is ComplainingTM to her about her Red Haired Pet)

Angel asks the Short King, aka Royal Daddy to drop him and Cherri close to the chaotic trio, because he's also the only one who might be able to safely stop the car without being splatted. Because he can see that the trajectory was heading right at Vee Tower, and given how that could piss off Val, Angel wasn't gonna risk it.

Also, he's been that shitfaced before and knows you just don't make great choices like that and Vox seems to be countin' on it. You don't work in Angel's profession without being able to clock a creeper... might not be able to do nothin' if they pay the right price, but you could just Tell.

Drones frizzle as a lensflare, the kind of which hasn't been seen since the recent Star Trek Movies, sears their optical wires. Losing signals and providing barely there distorted imagery.

"Not being a very good parental figure, here, bellhop..." Lucifer grins, hand on the front of the vehicle as the wheels spin a few seconds longer. It strains and sputters before he presses a tad more firmly on the metal, and the whole thing dies with an angry 'kra-bang'.

"Why... your shhhhhortness, to what do we..." a truly devastating insult trails off mid-sentence, as the Overlord notices his shadow is making faces at the king, which is far funnier and easier to focus on. "Hmmm? Oh yes... decided to work on Hell's transportation concerns... personally...? Or is it angel-ally? Devilally? What do you fall under, hmmm?"

"He c-can fall undah me any-hic-time..." Mimzy mumbled, crawling over Alastor to get out of the vehicle and rolling onto the pavement, giggling. "Whoo!"

"Ah, looks like we're at Defcon Whoo..." Angel mutters to Cherri, who howls with laughter. She manages to calm down enough to grab hold of the shorter sinner, pulling her upright without much preamble. This ain't her fourth rodeo and all that.

Angel peers in the backseat to find a jovial Husk tryinng to catch his own tail as it wiggles past his eyes. He's flat on his back, swiping at it, and Angel's heart just about pounds out of his chest because fuck that's cute... he tries to get a covert video with his fourth hand.

"Hey Whiskers, you wanna come outta the car for a minute? We got some stuff you might like at the hotel..." he coos, catching Husk's attention.

The Stuff is water, painkillers for the inevitable headache and a soft couch to sleep on with The Bucket next to it. In fact, all three of them are likely to get the royal treatment if they can just contain them before any pissed off overlords came alooking for who was causing the distruction.

But Husk didn't need to know that, let his blissed out kitty self assume there was more booze. Angel and Cherri were the downright experts at motivating blissed out friends to safety. Noone left behind and all that.

The cat-like mrrrph? the grugff bartender makes nearly takes Angel out, he has to clutch at his chest for a second. He wants this old ass cat so damn bad, sunsets and heart eyes and all that shit... fuck, he thought that was just stuff romantasy authors made up for sales. But now he wanted to get this idiot home, and safe, and maybe see if he'd make that noise again when sober.

Did he purr? Angel needs to know So Bad.

"You uh you good there, Cocaine?"

"Coca-... oh, it's Angel Dust, Short King. Close but no pinata that time, hah!" he wavves the angel's worried tone away. "Just got struck by how cute Husk here is when he's super blitzed... did you hear that noise? Like Keekee when she's lookin' for pets!"

The King's attention fell on Husk, as Cherri is heard physically being hurled around in the background by a flapper who decided it was Dance Time!

"He did? When was that?"

Husk, confused by the attention and not really using his BrainTM at the moment, repeats the noise instead of what the sinner clearly thought was a query with actual words.

Lucifer's eyes go roundn and shiny, and yeah, now Angel can see exactly where Charlie got it. "HE DOES!"

"You should... hear the other sounds... he can make... if you get one of the red dots..." Alastor helpfully advised, climbing out of the car to drape over the open door. He summons the item with a flourish and it smacks the king in the forehead.

"Oh you fucke-..."

"Hey, hang on ya highness, I don't actually think he was being a dick..." Angel says, holding out a free hand as he watched Alastor's confused expression fall into a frown at his empty hand. "Just couldn't aim like this... how the heck they managed to do this much damage while this outta it, I'm not sure."

Gunfire blasted from a sidestreet. "There's the slut!"

Mimzy and Angel both snapped back a sharp, "Hey!"

The ragtag group pauses, a mix of saurian sinners and a handful of what must be owned imps, as they glance between them. /Several flush and look elsewhere as they realise that's The Angel Dust.

"Er, the short whore, not you, sir..." says a rifle-wielding imp in a smart suit, appearing torn between fury at Mimzy and mild awe at Angel. "We came to get her for the boss... she ain't getting away with her shit again. Lost too many of our guys to her nonsense."

"Well, thank you but, I can't letcha do that. She's a.... friend of a friend. And that friend might eatcha in the least sexy way possible, unless you're into vore." Angel says, subtly warding them off.

But it's too late, Mimzy's noticed the interlopers. So has the Radio Demon.

"Al... c'n you help lil ol' me? I mighta... devoured a guy... or six... but he had it comin'!"

"Ah Mimzy my dear... you really know... how to pick them." Said the swaying eldritch horror as it unfolded from the everyday portable form, tendrils wildly lashing out and taking out both thugs, nearby cars and several buildings. "Do stand still..."

They were. Fear held them fast.

"Oh for fuck's sake..." Lucifer groaned, clearly over this whole situation. He might like Hunk and sure technically Missy was under the Get Them Home Safe Plan from Charlie, but dealing with a drunken overlord like this was... ridiculous. Why was this his afterlife? Had Father sent the bellhop specifically to remind Lucifer he was meant to be suffering?

He snaps his fingers and sends the few assailants not being dragged into shaows by chittering poppet things with big teeth, to the distant corners of Pentagram City. Separated like naughty kids on time out (thank you Belphagor for teaching Lilly and Lucifer about that one or Charlie would have turned out MUCH worse).

Angry red eyes waver over Lucifer and a few tendrils try to swat him, or at least, possibly the several Lucifers he's seeing.

"Okay big guy, look at the pretty shiny angel... over here... we're going to calm down because if you don't it would be a Shame if I had to beat your smug ass into next week to make sure you didn't go do anything else stupid." Lucifer sing-songed, really hoping that the sinner would choose Violence. Please let him choose Violence. Char would forgive him.

"Oi, you can't goad him into a drunken fist fight, that's cheatin' and I'm telling Charlie!" Angel calls up to him, and Lucifer's expression falls into a furious little pout.

"Well.... fine. What do you suggest, oh wrangler of the drunken?"

Angel tries so hard not to laugh openly at the childish frustration on the King's face. Yeah, Charlie was like 90% her dad, from what Angel could see.

"Well, you got his attention... see if he'll like, shrink down or whatever that's called, if not you might have to just portal us back to the hotel supersized!" angel yells up at the former angel.

Lucifer was annoyed. He could have been finishing off the replacement helper for Charlie, now that Dazzle was... well, Razzle was so lonely. It wasn't a Replacement of course, but the little creature might help fill the void left.

Shaking his head he decided to try, for Charlie. "Alright, let's try this..."

He levitates one of the shadow-mauled corpses up to them. "Hey Al... if I let you have a snack, would you calm down enough to shrink for us? All the sinners who came for, er, Misty, are gone. I poofed them away. No need to be all... big."

He notes that the cannnibal's eyes followed after the corpse, and he moves it slightly just to confirm. "You promise to settle down if I let you have a snack? We gotta get back to the hotel, bud... Charlie's not big on..." Something explodes a street over from the direction the trio had come from. "...hijinks like this."

Something like a rumble rippled between them, and Lucifer took that as capitulation. He tossed the semi-corpse and turned away, avoiding seeing whatever level of chewing involved those wet pops and snaps.

He felt the moment Alastor let go of the larger form, it was like a shift in the electromagnetic and magical fields, something he was unfortunately sensitive to based on the fact he'd had a hand in crafting those (along with a LOT of other things in the universe).

Angel was there immediately, slinging an arm around Alastor's shoulders in an effort to both steer the other and ensure he didn't sneakily resize himself just to spite the king. It was a testament to their growing companionship that Alastor didn't rip that arm right off... however, the true icing on the cake was the fact that the unexpected contact startled a soft, confused bleat out of the Overlord.

Dual waves of 'aw that's super cute' and 'I am holding this over his head for the rest of eternity' struck the King. Finally, he had something on the red motherfucker!

Angel looked slightly stunned, and squeezed Al tightly for a second, just to hear the repeated but slightly angrier sound. He turns to Lucifer with wide eyes. "Didja know he could do that? Holy fuck, these two are gonna be the second death of me..."

Cherri has a giggling Mimzy under one arm and is carefully hurling cherry bombs at the few sputtering drones still valiantly attempting to spy on them despite the damage angelic light had caused.

"They're pretty fuckin' cute, I'll give you that!" She calls out. "So what's the plan? If I let this sheila go, she'll be flat out like a lizard drinking... but getting this lot back to the Hotel will be a hard yakka if we try by foot."

"True... unless you wanna conjure a limo or somethin', ya Majesty?"

"Huh? Oh, no. No I'm just going to portal us all back to the hotel." Lucifer said, blinking back into the moment.

A blast of radio warble made them cringe from proximity. "No-...nonsense... let's take my shadows... thy're so... reliabl-... reliab-... we'll get there somewhat intact!" Alastor grins, grabbing hold of Angel and sending shadow tendrils out towards Cherri, Mimzy and Lucifer.

"Wait, no! No drunk driving in my kingdom!" Lucifer shouts, as he's pulled into a soupy black nothingness and left to tumble aimlessly in all directions. Well, not quite. There's a tether there, linking him back to the other screaming voices and giggling flapper he knows are there but can't quite see.

Lucifer rolls back into reality dazed and bruised as he falls from the ceiling of the lobby. Cherri and Mimzy fall sideways from a wall, and then Angel lands face-first on the nearby couch next to a startled Charlie.

Husk is not so lucky, the cat reappears at the bar, shooting upwards from out of the void in the floor as if thrown. He lands on all fours with claws out and tail fluffed, seconds from hissing, next to a wildly confused Vaggie.

"Wait, shit, we've lost Al..." Angel says, looking around.

"Hang on, now I've gotten a feel for the shadowy bullshit I think I can grab him. He's probably not able to remanifest a physical form while that drunk..." Lucifer sighs, hauling himself upright and heading to one of the wiggling shadow portals on the wall.

He jams himself in to about mid-torso and holds out a ball of light in his hand, searching for-... yeah, that'd be the idiot. There's a pair of hazy red eyes above a taut stitched smile... nothing else though.

"Alright, come over here, bellhop and touch my hand. I can pull you back into your physical body, if you want... unless this is easier... but then yo umight get lost in here if you're drunk soooooo..."

His rambling made the patch of sentient darkness drift close enough for Lucifer to snag and pull back through. He forgot about the reality of having another person land on you, and that they might be an angular motherfucker whose bony self could puncture holes in a bouncy castle if he landed wrong.

The wind left him all at once as they hit the floor. Still, the fact it seemed to startle another deer sound out of the other felt like payment enough. This was too good not to bring up in their next verbal spat...

Charlie looked intrigued but not surprised at the noise. "Oooh, thanks for that, Dad! And ohmygosh, is that a TAIL?!"

The end of that sentence went near hypersonic, and the glassware around them rattled ominously.

Vaggie looked perturbed. "What the fuck was that?"

"Oh, oh, oh! It's this little bleat, he made it when Rosie gave him a hug the other day in Cannibal Town, you'd think he weighed nothing the way she picked him up!"

"Oh, is that so...?" Angel said, filing that one away for later. "By the way, guess who makes cute little kitty noises when he's super drunk?" He gestures like a magician's assistant to Husk.

Charlie's eyes are going to roll out of her head if they get any rounder. "He does?!" A glass shatters behind them.

Lucifer shoves Alastor off him and rolls upright far too fluidly for someone with a proper bonestructure. He notices the other's form spilling into shadow at the edges, and hastily grabbed Alastor's wrist again to pulse his power aroud the sinner. Wouldn't want him to accidentally discorporate a leg or something and bleed to death on the nice new carpets.

He barely even thinks about it before deciding to just run with the first idea that comes to mind... snapping up a band that definitely didn't look like something a kid at summer camp would make as a friendship bracelet for another, and imbuing it with with a charm to hold the other physically present. If the bellhop hated it, they could fight when he was sober.

Cherri has deposited a snoring Mimzy facedown on a nearby armchair, and Niffty was studiously poking her with a featherduster and giggling at the mumbled swearing.

"Well, they're riproaring drunk, but we gottem back here. What's the plan now?" the spunky powerhouse asks.

"Er... well... they're not destroying the city so we just make them comfortable and change the bucket if anyone pukes?" Lucifer shrugged. How did sinners deal with alcohol? He couldn't get drunk and it never really did anything more than make him tingly for a few hours, and Lillith never felt the need to try to push her limits that far.

From what he understood from seeing several Goetia post-ball, it could feel like a rather persistent headache and sometimes you felt like throwing up. Or you did. He really should have checked in on that... what if Charlie was susceptible? He should have had that talk.

The other Talk was taken by Ozzie, thankfully, because the Sin was bombproof when it came to questions of that nature, and Belphagor covered biology in every possible way. Actually, he should ask Beezelbub, she would have an idea what this would look like...

The King whips out his phone and shoots off a text. Then panics internally about it it was weird that this was his first text in half a year to her. She blew up his messages seconds later, and suggested he just let them stay drunk... alongside several helpful suggestions about greasy food and hydration and some pills she would go bother Belphy to portal over. He sent back it was for several sinners, not him, and she replied that of course it was and she'd tell Belph to drop the dosage.

She then asked who it was for, and he decided to just tell her the whole shituation from the moment Charlie called to the very moment he was watching Angel Dust and Charlie deposit the gangly overlord atop a loveseat with minimal resistance.

She sent back a nnumber of emojis he couldn't identify, and a 'lol love to meet them, sound like a riot!'

A pause. 'Wait did you say he dropped a piano on you?'

'Yeah, he's an ass like that. But I think I won the dad-off. Still, I've got sooooo much blackmail material, the guy has a big fluffy deer tail and he makes these super cute bleats when he's drunk or startled... totally the opposite of the big bad scary overlord he's trying to project. Finally have something on him, to rival his jibes at my duck-making.'

That dinged something in his brain, and he swirled a finger, sending off a very belated gift to Bee and her new boyfriend (Hex? Tex Mex? Checks?).

'OMFG U DID NOT MAKE A DUCK FOR ME AND TEX!!!!!' she shoots back, and he panic declines her incoming call. Texting was a lot for the king at this time. 'THANK U!!! LUV U LUCI BABES!!!'

'Anytime.'

There's a swirl of magic, purple and smelling faintly of candlewax, as a paper bag appeared with a list of instructions on the side. That'd be the pills from Belphagor.

"Good news, we have something to make sure they live through their hangingover or whatever you sinners get, so that's taken care of." He announces, noting Niffty has already procured additional buckets for the other two. "Do we need to... do anything else for them?"

"I mean, normally I'd want to put them in their own rooms and make sure they weren't so... on display... but I also kind of feel like we need them to be in line of sight so we can help if they need it." Charlie says, looking sheepish. Husk is almost as secreticce as Alastor, she doesn't like intruding on their privacy but... well, necessary evils and all that.

"It's easier to make sure no one chokes on their own vomit or ends up stumbling out to start a fight with another overlord if we have eyes on." Vaggie says, practical to the core of her being. "Besides, two of them are staff and we need to make sure they don't die for... I don't know, team work reasons or something?"

"Just admit ya love us Vagatha!" Angel croons, ducking the bar coaster she hurled his way at the exaggerated kiss blown towards the exorcist.

"Ugh, come on man, it's bad enough we can't make the radio deer stop calling me that and now YOU?!" she groans, covering her face in her hands.

"I can go back to pronouncing your name how the First Guy did, if you want Va-..."

"It would be the last thing you do." She snaps back, shoulders unclenching. He may taunt, but since learning that little tidbit, Angel hadn't actually used the name. "Still, this is going to be a setback for the hotel... I mean, we got good enough press after the battle, but this? This is going to piss off a lot of people."

"Nah, Overlords get a weird sort of pass, you know? They do strange crap all the time, and get away with it, because who's gonna stop em?" Angel waves her worries off. "Like, Val does... what Val does all over Pride and do you see anyone up in arms about it? Velvette punched models off the runway the other week and no one said shit. And when that big gal, Zeezi I think? Flattened a district during an argument with the skull guy, not an actual fight apparently just a disagreement with a lotta property damage, no one did fuck all."

"Okay... but they were in their own territories, this was... all over. And he's one of the front-runners for the hotel... it was bad enough when his weird trouble magnet friend came around the first time. But we could call that a one-off. This was... blatant." She counters.

Husk grumbles, pulling his face off the bar. "M...zy has a pass... Al'n'Rsie like her." He managed.

"And that would be enough of an excuse to protect us from fallout?"

"Vox's gunna always be... problem... b'sessed... but... Mim getsa pass. Cause they was 'live t'gether..."

"Ooookay, so, we'll just deal with this when everyone is sober and I can talk about better choices in the future. After all, we're all about second chances here!" Charlie said, smile strained and tone bordering on upset. The hotel hadn't boomed since the battle, but... a few of the more interested applicants had dribbled away in the last few days. It had been disheartening.

"We could get a marching band here in less than 45 minutes, if you need to make a point, duckling?" Lucifer suggests, his grin rather demonic. He backtracks at the mild disappointment on her face. "Kidding! Daddy's kidding! I just meant that sometimes consequences are important... they help you learn lessons that are sometimes painful, but necessary. Like say, not getting wasted and ruining reputations across the entire Pride ring while a tv televises it."

"Ooooh shiiiiit, I forgot about the drones... ugh, how bad is it?" She aims that at Angel, Cherri and Vaggie who are scrolling their phones and wincing. "That's not encouraging."

"Well, I mean he ain't managed to get a shot of the strawberry pimp, not a good one, he's more blur than body in most of 'em... but it's clear he's involved. Husk and the short broad are pretty distinct." Angel replies.

"Hah, how the bloody hell did they get the car on top of the Embassy? Fuckin' legends!" Cherri whoops, showing a truly perplexing picture, which was circling Sinstagram and Veddit for varying reasons.

"Yeah, so we got attention... just not the kind we were after." Vaggie ends, succinctly. "That's a whole problem unto itself. But we'll have to deal with it, cause it's done already. Selfish fucker..."

"Yhooo'd be... more lenient... if'n the one..." Husk paused, almost asleep and staring at a point on the ceiling with intense concentration. He purrs when Angel reaches over to pet his head, an apparently unconscious action, despite the soft gasp the spider lets out. Angel appears to be having a religious experience of his own.

"Can you tell us what you mean, Whiskers?" Angels whispers.

"...las' time... said no... t'Mim she got... got. Couldn' hide from... conse-... cons-... what she did. Died. Bad." Husk explained, leaning into Angel's hand, and starting to drift off in his warm cocoon of inebriation. "S'why he puts... up wi'her shit... more'n mine... not s'muchas Niff... s'the favourite."

"Okay, that was some interesting backstory, but still... this can't keep happening. The last place got physically damaged by her nonsense, and now it's the reputation on the line. At some point, the debt gets repaid, and enough is enough." Lucifer intones, he's aware that today's events could easily lead sinners chasing the little Millie sinner to come here and put Charlie or her dream in danger again.

Of course, he's also the worst at putting up boundaries, so that's a bit hypocritical. The Sins had all been on his shitlist over the millenia, but wormed their way off it... except Mammon, that guy had better never ever EVER suggest a robo version of Charlie again, or Lucifer was going to turn the guy into a public portapotty at the next multiday musical festival on earth.

And yeah, he'd shut them out for a while there too, but those were barriers not boundaries.

Briefly, everyone muses on how they'd handle the requests from a friend they'd known in life... a friend who brought trouble to them, constantly, and the one time they asserted a boundary... that friend paid the ultimate price for their actions. Yeah, that'd be complicated to unravel and it wouldn't be hard to imagine they'd probably go out of their individual ways to help above and beyond.

Ooof, that's some guilt to consider.

"I'm sure we can find a comfortable compromise with Mimzy, through some talk therapy..." Charlie suggests, the optimism fading out halfway. "Yeah, no, I don't know how we could stop her from being... herself. Husk mentioned this was her pattern, when she was here last... and even when Alastor asserted a boundary to make her leave, she still managed to erode it today. Or yesterday, because I think they'd been drinking for a while now..."

"We don't have to fix it, though. What if you just... make it a rule she can't come here, and that if she's having trouble she has to submit a help request in writing to the hotel for you AND Alastor to review?" Vaggie suggests. "That way you can both make a decision on how to respond in the best interests of the hotel?"

Charlie grabs her girlfriend and kisses her, then peppers her beautiful face with kisses. "Ooooh, I love you and your amazing brain!"

Niffty, giggling, appears with a pair of blankets that seem to be stitched together from scraps of everyone's clothing, which she places over the slumbering Husk and Alastor respectively. They didn't really react, but the couches were plush and the sinners seemed to have been awake for longer than would normally be safe, so perhaps that was fine.

Niffty seemed disinclined to provide anything for Mimzy.

"Niff, can you grab one a the blankets for our uest?" Angel prompts, gesturing at the flapper.

Her eye narrows, anger gleaming in the pupil the likes of which not even angels had managed to ignite. "No, she's a Nasty Bad Girl and I don't like how she is always wanting things from Sir. She is a bug he won't let me exterminate."

"Okay, of course, valid!" Angel says, raising his hands up in surrender. "We let the uh, the pesty bitch go cold, yeah?"

"YES!"

Lucifer watches Niffty disappear into the wall through a vent he didn't recall adding. "Have you... gotten that angelic dagger off of her, yet?"

Charlie went wide eyed and so pale you could just about see through her. "Uh oh..."

A maniacal giggle echoed through the wall, and fell into silence too swiftly for anyone to feel safe.

Lucifer's magic pulsed, a miniscule flex really, like being aware that there were muscles involved you weren't consciously moving when you smiled or frowned or yawned. The bracelet was holding the Overlord's physical form together as intended, but it was concerning that it seemed to be happening in the man's sleep. Was this normal for him?

Actually, maybe it was. Sinners were odd like that. Came in all forms and defied every law of physics you can imagine.

Either way, he's glad he thought ahead to binding the idiot into his body; having to restore someone from incoporeal atoms spread about an undefined area like, say, a shadowy void, would be a tedious task. He'd done something similar maybe twice in his long life, and it took ages... he's not willing to lose a decade of Charlie's life to that boring little project. Even if she likes the deer.

Actually, what the fuck is that?

Like a radar pinging an object in sonar range, something is bouncing back and tickling at his brain. That's an unpleasant sensation. Like a itch you can't quite scratch without removing parts of your flesh... which always stressed out beings used to being tied perpetually in these coporeal prisons. Er, bodies.

He moves to the couch with the deer on it and waves aside the blanket. The King startles as he finds Angel's hand grabbing his wrist rather pointedly as Lucifer starts undoing buttons.

"Hold up, Short King... we need to talk consent? Cause I sure as fuck don't mind lecturing an angel on the topic." As the poster child for being manhandled against his will, Angel would naturally be the one to step in, even in this instance. Hells, he'd put himself on the line to keep Charlie safe when she fucked up at his work.

That pulls Lucifer up short. Ah, well, from the outside this would look... not great...

"Whoa, okay, I can explain. Just got caught up in the mystery... er, my bad." He cringes at the tangled explanation. His words don't get easier from there, and Angel doesn't let go of him. "I-I mean, uh, the tether I put on him, it's kind of holding him in his body right now? Cause if he falls into shadows when he's not paying attention bits might get... lost... forever. Or your pet overlord mifght not be able to reform... had a weirdly similar experience when I got depressed enough I dropped the physical body for a bit and then got too distracted and had to pull bits of me back from distant Rings... but I didn't slip into an alternate pocket dimension like the deer can. So he could take ages to put right and-..."

"Dad, breathe!" Charlie interjects, looking flustered. Angel switches his grip to allow him to shake the king slightly.

"I'm breathing, it's fine! I just wanted to make sure he kept all his arms and legs and fleshy bits in the same part of existence. And just a second ago he started to turn to shadows, so the bracelet used a bit of my magic to contain him... but it pinged."

"Pinged what?" Vaggie frowned, suspicious.

"Not sure... felt... too similar to be a conincidence, and I just went to find out what it was without thinking about it. Felt... corrupted."

"Okay, look it sounds logical but ya gotta remember you can't just go about takin' clothes off people, specially when they're not able to stop you!" Angel admonishes, and the King of Hell shrinks back a little. "Look, is it worrying enough you can't wait 'til he's awake or d'you think that it can be left alone until tomorrow? He's uh, he's pretty specific about touch. Not sure why Smiles didn't fucking incinerate me for that hug earlier, even if he and the others were obliterated."

"Er, well... one sec..." Lucifer pulses the magic once more and frowns at the resistence. "Okay, so I think we Need to See it, unfortunately. He can't actually hurt me, you know... yeah he's powerful but... it'd take all the Sins teaming up with the right weapons to take me on with a chance of winning."

Wait, they weren't worried about Alastor hurting Lucifer. That was a given. He hastily added, "And I won't touch him more than necessary. Promise."

Did Alastor know he was defended like this? That these odd sinners liked the fucker enough to admonish the king of hell for him?

Angel slowly released his grip. They both knew Lucifer could have freed himself, but... it was the principle.

Using his powers instead, Lucifer gently opened the coat and undershirt, pushing aside the odd black straps that seemed to provide compression as well as hold the outfit in place.

He winces. "Ah, fuck, that's... well, it's healing, but I think what caught the attention of my powers was the residual angelic grace. It was muffled by whatever enchantment's on his coat, or I'd have noticed it sooner, given how close we've been for the last few weeks, and the whole... landing on me earlier thing."

"Do we-... how do we fix it?" Charlie asks, looking determined. "We have a first aid kit, and I know Rosie from Cannibal Town is apparently super good with magical afflictions and they're friends so she might help for a Favour..."

He cracks his fingers. "No, I got this... it's not hard to remove normally, but this has festered for a bit. Gonna assume an angel got him with one of their spears at some point... surprised it hasn't healed though. Enough power and you can live with a bit of angelic grace under the skin until it dissipates..."

Vaggie has a thousand yard stare going. "And what if it... came from someone a bit more powerful than an exorcist, Sir?"

"Like who? the only one there with even the vaguest hint of Heavenly endowment was Adam, and most of it was in his stupid guitax or whatever he called it. Must have been forged by one of the other archangels, he definitely didn't have the imagination or power to make it himself." Lucifer laughed, mind whirling through different ideas on who must have helped the first man with his little toy. Maybe Uriel, who was full of compassion but never made sturdy weapons, he just lacked interest. Might be why it broke so easily.

"...and if a sinner took on the first man and was hit by it? How bad would that be?" Vaggie prodded again, looking at the wound. It had been stitched, but all the movement of the last few hours had frayed patches, snapped other areas and generally bruised the already upset skin to either side. Not to mention the length of it was concerning.

Lucifer sucks air through his teeth. "Then this will suck... mostly for me, because it's going to taste awful... from a magical perspective. Not sure if Sinners can get the flavour of other magics, or scent? Or... look, it's a sense that I tried to let humans have but Heaven said No so it's hard to explain. Imagine trying to tell an alien race that didn't develop sight how that works and what it's like?"

"Okay, so... we need anything for this?" Angel asks, practically.

"Just help to unlatch his jaw if he wakes up mad for me touching him?" Lucifer half-jokes, but he really hopes it doesn't come to that. He flexes his fingers before touching the area, and yep, that's adam's borrowed Grace alright... it's like running your tongue through a garbage bin with a faint hint of the First Man's original clean, oceanic 'scent'. Or soul taste?

Ugh, humans and sinners and winners... they really needed to expand their vocabulary so it wasn't so hard to explain fundamentals!

It's not hard to coax out, but boy does it make the King want to throw up something fierce. If Alastor had just said something to start with, it'd be a breeze... literally, it would have tasted of gentle ozone and maybe a bit of gore, or whatever Alastor's soul-taste was, but nothing this bad...

This was why you didn't let angelic injuries fester. not only could they kill you but it was absolutely the Worst to heal them. He pulls back, finally, and reaches for one of the handy dandy buckets which is quickly provided to him by someone helpful who he was going to give a medal to in future.

When he finished throwing up, and had felt able to sip some of the cool fruit juice provided, Lucifer blinked back to the present. Charlie was hovering, and the Bucket had been removed by someone.

Angel had covered Alastor up again, at least with the blanket over the healing injury the Overlord wouldn't feel so exposed. With the angelic grace removed, there should be no issues for the wound to just... close up on its own. Soon, if there was enough energy left not currently stopping the overlord from dying of alcohol poisoning.

Charlie moved Lucifer to a seat and helped him rest.

"Are you okay, Dad? You kind of... threw up for a while there. Can I get you something gentle, like toast or... or crackers?" She offers.

"Yeah, maybe some toast would help." He agrees, feeling exhausted. He hadn't thrown up in centuries, it was a wildly unwelcome return of such an old experience.

"No one in the hotel is allowed to get hurt with angelic weaponry for the next century... I'm going to make it a law." Lucifer groans, finally feeling his own innate healing ability settle his stomach. "Especially if any of you try to hide it like that... it's like chugging the sludge at the bottom of a dumpster. Never again. He is going to owe me so much for this..."

He felt Charlie freeze slightly, trying to decide if this was a jest or not.

Lucifer cracks open an eye. "I mean metaphorically, duckling, I don't do Deals with anyone and I'm not going to tally it up. But if I can get him to like... help sort through that fucking mess that used to be my office in the Palace at some point, that'd be great. Not that he has to, but I;ve seen how he collated your paperwork and now I want to borrow him."

He saw a few shoulders release unconscious tension.

Was everyone really so scared of obligations? Of tit for tat? Or was it because everyone here was owned, or had been owned at some point, excepting Charlie? Vaggie had been in a Heavenly form of servitude to Adam after all.

He shrugs, "Well you can't ask for what's not there either... hah, you can't share a soul unless the contract is excruciatingly specifically worded. Oof, yeah, I've seen those go down... but no, Bambi is safe from indentured servitude from me. Wouldn't kill him to be nicer, though." Lucifer pauses. "Actually, I'm starting to suspect that if he tries to compliment me he might just start bleeding from the eyes out of sheer spite."

"Wait so how're the Vees sharing souls then?" Cherri cuts in, scrolling her phone and half-aware of the conversation from where she's laying on the floor, legs against Husk's couch.

Lucifer had been wondering actually.

"Far as I can figure, they either each have individually held contracts but an overarching three-way deal between them that allows a small percentage of ownership across all deals with the Vees... or they have subclauses in their deals to allow multiple owners."

"Gotta be the first one, I recall my contract and it wasn't well written or full of subclauses... I've seen the ones Vox makes up. Surprised that any of his employees can pee without needing to ask permission, his are thorough to the point of no loopholes, whereas Val's are more to the point. He puts down what ya gonna do for him and when, where, how, what the kickback is and then you sign it. Not sure about Velvette, never seen one'a her contracts." Angel shrugs.

"Interesting. Well, like I said, you can't jointly own a soul without everyone agreeing to it... although, it has to be said that it doesn't matter if it was signed willing or under duress. Seen that happen too. Some of the older overlords used that tactic a lot, it was infuriating but the Laws prevent me getting involved between sinner to sinner deals." Lucifer says, then adds. "Of course, you catch a sinner and goetia making a deal, it comes before me for review. Or, you know, Lillith... because of the inherent power imbalance. And with a Sin? Royalty has to be a third party for that one, it's mandatory."

"That's... a lot to handle. You never told me about all the paperwork you and mum had to do, Dad. Is there some way I can help you?"

Not for the first time, did Lucifer wonder how he'd made something so wonderfully caring and earnest as Charlie.

"No, it's fine... happens so rarely these days that it's only a blip in the ocean of things we need to pay attention to. You have your hotel as well, and I'd hate to distract you... plus, I can always ask Alberta here if he'll give me a hand. Just subtly mention the whole healing business... you know Overlords, they hate to be in debt."

"Mmm, maybe try asking as a friend first so it's not weighted against him?" Charlie coaxes. And he holds back an eyeroll, she really is something so optimistic it almost hurts sometimes.

"Sure, Char-Char. I'll ask the deer if he's willing to help." Lucifer can't help but stare at the Overlord a minute longer, his own words echoing in his head. Lilli always took care of the big deals... so why, then, had her own deal with this sinner before him not triggered magic to drop it on his desk? There were safeguards to avoid this very situation.

Royalty couldn't make soul deals with Sinners, well... they could, they just shouldn't. It was just slavery with extra steps at that point. Sure, sinners could own other sinners, and there were FUCKED terms for some contracts but... most had a way out. Your deal holder could die or be overthrown, you could have the contract terminated or finish when the task / time limit ceased, there were dozens of ways to end one. But not if the person holding your leash was an immortal all powerful being.

Goetia rarely died except by political assassinations. The Sins weren't going anywhere. And the Royal Family? Forget about it.

That was why it was never fully balanced.

Now he desperately wanted to know what it was that Lillith had offered, what she had provided. Was it power? Was it protection? Was the deal offered honestly out of care, or... sought under duress? Before she left there had been a lot of rage in his Queen, some of it aimed at him for his failings and poor mental presence... and a lot of it directed at Heaven for their stipulations around Charlie.

He could withstand that anger, he was almost invulnerable. But a Sin? A Goetia? Maybe. A Sinner? They were breakable... but then, that was the best thing about Sinners, they could regenerate as many times as you wanted with only the mental trauma to contend with. Bodies healed as minds broke.

"Dad? You went quiet and kept staring at Al... is everything okay? Like, did you get all the poison out?"

"What? Oh, yeah... just... wondering what your mother could have offered... that's all. She didn't like doing Deals all that much but..."

"...what?" the smallness of the query made him snap back to reality and his eyes locked on Charlotte's face. She seemed to be coming around to a conclusion, and for he first time Lucifer recognised that perhaps this was also something being concealed by the red fucker, like his injury.

It was just... the others at the hotel were so open about their status, wasn't the bellhop?

"Uh... well, first things first I'm going to need you to find all the angelic steel around the place and hide it at the Palace. It can't kill me, but it does hurt and I don't want him getting his hands on it when they all wake up tomorrow." He says, trying to distract and diffuse. "Then, we're all going to pretend I said nothing because I don't think he wanted to share that and I'm still talking, why am I talking? I need to stop doing that..."

He yelps as Angel picks him up and brings him over to the couch Husk is sleeping on, putting the King close enough to both feel and hear the rumbling purr. Oh... oh that was nice. Soothing.

"And now we're gonna breathe in for four... and then out for four, yeah? Good, c'mon now, Short King." Angel coaxed, clearly experienced in managing these situations. That was disheartening.

When he finally had control of himself again, Lucifer buried his face in his hands. "I'm getting tired of being tired and stressed out. That hasn't happened in a long time, either... it was getting better."

"Look, it's true you fucked up a bit and shared something that y'weren't aware was a secret. But we've all done that before, like the time I mentioned to P-... to a friend who ain't around anymore that Cherri would love to take both'a his cute little cocks for a spin, if he'd just ask her to her face for a date. She made me eat one of her bombs, and then bang him myself to give a review..."

That caught Lucifer's attention. "Well...?"

"Huh? Oh, 4.5 stars, he's pretty good at using everything he's got. Just needs a bit more confidence in asking for things, that's all." Angel grins, winking at Vaggie who looked furious that Angel had been banging other guests. "Oh unclench babes, it was outside the hotel."

"...as riveting as this conversation is, could we perhaps hold it elsewhere?" Interjects a decidely startling voice, as the Overlord sits up to glare at them all. Ah, well, fuck... seems the drainage process has siphoned off some other things too. There's a nearly sober, angry overlord glaring at the King.

"Whoa, Smiles you might wanna stay horizontal, you guys went at it hard and I dunno if it's all through your systems yet." Angel cautions, moving to hover. "Just saying, you either feel a bit shitty right now or you're about to."

"I assure you I am perfectly fine, and will remain so for as long as it takes to retire to my own rooms." Alastor replies, there's no heat in the tone. Merely acceptance of the situation. His eyes automatically identify that Mimzy and Husker are alive and cared for, before returning to the miniature monrach. "And now, you are going to explain yourself and why you never learned to keep a secret in your many millenia of existence."

"Ex-cuuuuuse ME?!" Lucifer shoots back. "I didn't know it was a hush hush secret topic, asshole! And I'm sorry, but don't get your damn tail in a twist over it!"

A record scratch filled the air, as red fluffy ears fought not to pin back. Ah, perhaps the tail was also meant to be a little secret?

Shit. Good Job Lucifer.

"Look it ain't a big deal, or it won't be because it's just us here, Smiles... we've all been trapped at some point or other. Heck, you've got Husk and Niffty right now on ya own leash... they're okay enough about it. You think I'd judge you? Me? I'm stuck with someone who treats me like a pre-warmed fleshlite most'a the time, I'm not casting stones in this glass hotel." Angel says, trying to validate the other.

"I... appreciate your candor here, Angel. When there is time, I'm certain I will find space in my schedule to manage the outrageous nonsense those Vees are up to." A well-worded promise without an actual promise. Alastor wanted the trio gone, and if that meant Angel was freed... so be it. "However, you are at liberty to talk about your contract... without reprisal. The fact that not only is someone aware but it happens to involve both royals, breaches two separate clauses. It will be unlikely to go under the radar."

"You know where she is?" Charlie asked, confused, furious and lost in in one big ball.

"Yes. She went... up."

"U-...? OH. Why would she...?"

"I could not say why she made that choice. Just that it was. You were never intended to know this."

"Are you here because of the Deal?" Lucifer asked.

"...perhaps."

"To help or hinder?"

"Both."

"To keep Charlie safe?"

"Yes."

"To keep the hotel safe?"

"Not quite."

"To... sabotage the hotel?"

"...also, not quite."

"To stop anyone from being redeemed?"

Instead of an answer there was a dinging, like someone getting a jackpot on a slot machine.

"How?"

"Unclear, nothing concrete was advised. I merely have to... be here."

"Okay... anything else?"

"Nothing I can discuss."

"What do you get out of it? Seems like a lot of work."

"...nothing. A service was already rendered."

That caught Lucifer off-guard. "What?"

"I can't tell you."

"Okay, okay, uh... did you get power?"

A whump-whump noise played.

"Protection?"

A sad slide whistle.

"Money? Fame?"

An audience booing.

"Hey you try playing 400 questions with no help from the other team, jerk! I'm thinking..."

"Don't strain yourself too hard, we need you alive."

"Oh you fucker..." Lucifer burst into laughter. "Alright, so she did something for you... and now you are stuck o babysitting duty?"

"I-... suppose you could put it that way."

"Did she kill someone for you?"

"No."

"Did you sleep with one another?"

There was a tyre screech sound as Alastor wrinkled his nose at the repugnance of such a question. "Wherever do you get such vile thoughts from, Majesty? No, we have never even been close to intimate."

Okay, ouch. That was His Wife there pal. Maybe ease up on the judgement, huh? Lucifer thought she was fucking gorgeous.

"Did she provide you or someone important to you with something material?"

"No."

"What about... I don't know, it's hard to think of this stuff on the fly. What about..." Lucifer glances at Alastor's chest. "Healing? Did she heal you for some reason?"

"...in a manner of speaking?"

"Oh? Okay, did she heal you after a fight with another Overlord?"

"Technically yes, but it was not the main reason."

"An angelic wound?"

"Also technically yes."

"Did she help with a poison, pysical or magical?"

"You might call it that, but it was also only tangentially involved."

"You are NOT making this easy. So, you fought an Overlord and that did something but wasn't the main reason you needed her help. You were also injured with angelic steel but that wasn't the main reason either. And somehow there was a poison or poisoning essence involved?"

"All true, to some degree."

Lucifer could feel his stomach churning, like his mind had made a conclusion that he didn't want to imagine.

"Was... was Lillith the cause of any of the potential injuries that required healing?"

There was a weighted silence. "Yes."

"Did you start a fight with her?"

"No."

"Did you have a pre-existing relationship?"

"Also no. I had never seen her in person prior to her seeking me out."

"Can you tell me who you were fighting before she arrived?"

"Of course."

Lucifer waited, then rolled his eyes. "Finish the sentence, jackass."

Alastor seemed smug. "Be more specific in your asking. Yes, I can tell you I had been fighting with Vox, but he had decided to include both his new compatriots without any warning that they were there. Three on one can be managed if you know the odds in advance and strategise. An ambush, however, puts you on the backfoot from the beginning of the encounter."

"Was there angelic steel involved in this fight?"

"No."

"The poison?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes. I consider it poison, but the wielder does not."

Angel is frowning, "Wait... are you talking about Val's weird spit stuff?"

"The very same. He's quite clever at applying it in person and also to bladed weaponry, when the mood strikes."

Angel cringes. "Yeah, I can see why you consider that poison... specially when it takes your control away. Fuckin' nasty stuff if ya not prepared for it."

"Why, what does it...?" Lucifer asks, and his eyes widen in disgust as Angel bends to whisper in his ear. Cherri looks ready to kill. "I didn't realise anyone could do that up here or I would have ended him some time ago."

"It's on my To Do list as well." Alastor hums.

"Okay, alright, so facts on the table... fightingg someone, one becomes three and one of them has a venom type ability that can do all sorts of whacky shit... somehow you either get free or Lilli turned up to help?"

"My shadow made the decision that we would leave the encounter. They can act according to their own will as needed. Very useful."

"Okay, so you went somewhere... and my wife found you?"

"Yes."

"Where?"

"My radio tower. The old one I had affixed to the hotel before the battle. There are wards all through it that prevent Vox from following."

"And Lilli just... turned up?"

"Yes. I don't know how she knew or why."

"The angelic injury, did it happen before you left the battle or... after?"

"After. Deliberately."

Lucifer swallowed. He'd guessed, but... now it was confirmed he felt sick again. "And the healing happened after that?"

"Technically yes."

"Was it offered freely?"

"Technically yes. I was free to take up the opportunity or she could-..." Alastor's voice clicked off. Clearly a forbidden topic. "There was no other option."

"She forced you into a Deal then?"

"Hmmm... perhaps."

"And the like 7 ish years you were gone?"

"Making a point abotu disobedience."

"You, being difficult to work with? How unusual!" Lucifer enacted a shocked gasp.

"Are you satisfied with the information provided or would you like something else deeply personal presented in a group setting before I retire, your Shortness? I can always strip for you, since you seem to want to know All..."

"YES!" Angel and Cherri called excitedly, clashing with the rapid-fire "NO!" from Charlie and Vaggie.

Lucifer relents. "No, no that's fine I just... was trying to find a loophole. So you don't get anything from all of this?"

"Correct."

"Any stipulations we can know about? See if we can make it easier for you to weather this?"

Alastor tests a few thoughts and nothing seems to stop him so he proceeds. "I was not supposed to raise arms against HEaven... she was insistent on that. And I did not."

"You... faced the First Man UNARMED are you INSANE?!" Lucifer just about shrieked. "Okay, forget it, I've decided you're too mad to stay around my daughter."

"Hardly, I'm at least 40% sane."

"Beg to differ. Okay, what else?"

"Redemption must not be possible, if it is it must be stopped. Charlotte is not to be harmed where possible, unless it is in conflict with the previous requirement."

"She wanted you to potentially hurt Charlie?"

"As a last resort... but yes. The hotel's defence is mine, but seeking conflict outside of this is not permitted unless in self-defence."

"And...? I feel like there's something you missed out on."

"And... where possible, Lucifer Morningstar is to be kept away from Charlotte, even if it means breaking him psychologically to the point where he is no longer fit to rule. She was insistent on that latter point and suggested where best to press to make you flinch."

"Oh, that explains the Dad-Off..."

"Somewhat. You were also an arrogant bastard who thought himself better than everyone here and needed to be taken down a peg or three."

"I was NOT-..."

"Afraid so, good chap. However, now you're here, I can't technically do anything about it."

"Alright, can she summon you from the hotel?"

"Yes."

"Bugger, I'll put up more wards."

"No. If she realises you know she may enact whatever plan it is that keeps her in Heaven. She has something going on she refuses to speak about."

"Okay. Well my little bracelet there should bounce back any summoning attempts, and I command you to wear it."

"...okay. And what will you do now you know of this matter?"

"...same as I intende to do for everyone here, Bambi... break it, legally."

"You would go against Lillith for such a thing?"

"Yes. This... is against what we agreed on, no soul deals for the royal family and here I find out she's trapping Overlords in deals through force and violence. You may not be the only one. Just the one I know of."

"That is a concerning thought."

"Isn't it just?"

-------

More ideas but its 330am

>Angel asks how he can lose a soul but retain his chains. Lillith was specific in her Deal.

>Mimzy wakes up hungover and angry.

?Cherri was using her phone without the hotel warding on it, so Vox heard everything

>Big confrontation with everyone.

>Lillith has a Plan.

Etc.

[adorieheartz]

Melodies with the heart, A Demons dance with Desire: Part 1 [RadioStatic] [FanFic]

Hells sky, streaked with ominous clouds, seemed to pulse with the chaotic energy of the annual Extermination. Shadows twisted and darted through the streets, demons scrambling like roaches before the approaching extermination. Screams echoed in the air, a cacophony of fear that marked this dark event, coming through the alleys and rooftops. High above, the Exterminators descended.

For most, this was a time of terror, a moment to hide and pray. For Alastor, it was a show.

He stood amid the mayhem, a figure of dark elegance against the backdrop of chaos. The Radio Demon. He surveyed the scene with unshakeable delight, his sharp grin widening as he took in the pandemonium. His red eyes glinted with amusement, and the crackling sound of his laughter filled the air as he held his staff between his fingers.

"Well, well, well!" Alastor called out,.

"Our little festival is in full swing! Such delightful chaos, don’t you think? You’d think they’d learn by now that the demons of Hell don’t like visitors!"

He spun around, arms open wide, basking in the madness. Nearby, demons tried to fend off the Exterminators, only to be struck down, their howls of agony harmonizing with Alastor’s amusement. It was a grim performance, one that Alastor relished.

Then, from the heavens, a figure descended, it was Adam, leader of the Exorcists, landed with a flamboyant flourish, a goofy grin plastered across his face. His halo shimmered, and his vibrant wings fluttered with a life of their own.

“Hey, Alastor!” Adam called, his voice bright and teasing. “Mind if I crash your little party? I brought some heavenly justice just for you!”

Alastor chuckled, his eyes gleaming. “Ah, the main act finally arrives! You certainly know how to make an entrance. Shall we dance?”

Without waiting for a response, Adam lunged forward, his guitar glowing with divine energy. Alastor barely had time to react as the Exterminator charged, his expression a mix of playful mischief and fierce determination.

“Catch me if you can!” Adam shouted, his tone light as he aimed his weapon at Alastor.

The battle began - a blend of sheer power. Alastor wielded his cane, summoning waves of tentacles that erupted around him, each pulse accompanied by crackling static and the ghostly echoes of laughter. Yet Adam, with his childlike glee, danced around the strikes with surprising agility.

“Nice moves!” Adam called, dodging another of Alastor’s spells. “But have you ever tried twirling? It adds flair to your.. whoops!”

Alastor seized the moment, sending out a wave of energy that sent Adam staggering. “Oh, dear Adam, your humor is delightful but a bit over the top, wouldn’t you say? Perhaps more suited for a Saturday morning cartoon than a battle to the death?”

Adam laughed, his spirit unfazed. “Well, it’s hard to keep things dark when I’m just so… bright! Get it? Because I’m an angel?” He winked, clearly enjoying the banter.

✧༺★༻✧

Vox was watching from his lair, the glow of his screens illuminating his face as he monitored every angle of the fight. He rubbed his hands together, as he delved his hand into a popcorn box. “Now this is entertainment! If Alastor falls, it’ll be the juiciest broadcast in all of Hell, And I'll finally show that walking outdated radio just who he's messing with! Perfect! Just perfect!”

As Alastor and Adam exchanged blows, the tension in the air thickened. Each clash of their powers sent ripples through the surrounding chaos, drawing more demons into the fray, their eyes glued to the spectacle unfolding before them.

“Wow, you’re really persistent!” Adam exclaimed, dodging another attack. “You should think about going pro! Maybe even join the Exorcists - just kidding! We can’t have psychopathic nobodies in heaven!”

Alastor’s grin faltered for a moment as he felt the weight of the fight. “Flattery will get you nowhere, Adam. I’m afraid you’ll find that I’m not so easily defeated.”

The banter continued, the playful back-and-forth making the battle feel like a twisted game. Alastor conjured illusions, distracting Adam with distorted images of himself, while Adam spun around, trying to discern the real threat.

“Nice try! But I’ve seen better illusions from a funhouse mirror!” Adam shouted, laughing as he swung his spear.

The chaotic dance pushed and Alastor began to realize the severity of the situation. Each attack from Adam landed harder, and the playful atmosphere began to shift as the stakes grew higher.

“Come on, Alastor! Show me what you’ve got!” Adam teased, mischief sparkling in his eyes. “I didn’t come down here for a boring fight! Let’s kick it up a notch!”

Adam flew up into the air, he conjured his angelic power & snapped Alastors cane in two. Alastor looked down, "Fuck." And then he was slammed against the wall.

✧༺★༻✧

(A/N) From now on, this story will feature one of my own characters! If you are confused at any point, I'd suggest reading the introductory xo -viv

In a swirl of shadows, Ryoba appeared, stepping into the fray with an elegance that silenced the chaos for a moment. Her presence commanded attention; her regal demeanor contrasted sharply with the pandemonium surrounding her. She moved with fluidity, her eyes scanning the battlefield with calm focus, a serene smile on her lips, Double playing Alastors iconic one.

“Such a ruckus for a simple dance,” Ryoba remarked, her voice soft yet resonant. “Mind if I join?”

Adam turned, his goofy grin broadening. “Whoa, a new dance partner! I’m flattered! I hope you like the theme - Chaos! It’s all the rage this season!”

“I’m sure it is,” Ryoba replied, her gaze steady as she assessed the situation. She saw Alastor on his knees, bloodied and weak, and felt a surge of trying to prove to Alastor who she really was, her ego stepping in to lead her to a battle already decided. “Step aside, Alastor. I’ll handle this.”

Without waiting for his reply, she lunged at Adam, her blade glinting as she teleported behind him. Adam, momentarily surprised, spun around just in time to block her strike.

“Whoa! You’re fast!” he exclaimed, the thrill of the fight igniting his spirit. “But can you keep up with my moves?”

Ryoba didn’t respond; instead, she focused, her attacks precise and elegant. Adam’s playful demeanor contrasted sharply with her deadly intent, and their clash was a whirlwind of blades and angelic power. She weaved through his strikes with the grace of a dancer, countering with swift slashes aimed at his exposed sides.

“Nice footwork!” Adam cheered, dodging another of her strikes. “But I’ve got moves you’ve never seen before!”

“Then let’s see them,” Ryoba replied, she hardened her tone. With each clash of their weapons, the air crackled with tension.

Vox watched with rapt attention, a wide grin spreading across his face. “Now this is what I call prime content! Two overlords battling a divine fool? The potential for humiliation is just amazing..” A smirk played on Vox's face as Valentino and velvet grinned as well.

Ryoba’s resolve intensified. She could feel the stakes rising; Adam was relentless, and the energy of the battle was shifting. Despite her power, the weight of the situation pressed down on her.

Ryoba ducked beneath another of Adam’s strikes.

In a moment of distraction, however, Adam saw his opening. He lunged forward with renewed vigor, “Time to wrap this up, lovely lady!”

With a swift thrust, Adam’s Guitar connected, piercing Ryoba’s thigh and ripping the heel cohersive. The impact sent shockwaves through her, the angelic light searing into her flesh. For a split second, the world slowed, and everything around her faded into a blur.

“Not so fun when the tables turn, huh?” Adam quipped, his tone half-serious, half-amused.

Ryoba let out a small yelp, pain coursing through her. She staggered back, her facade cracking as blood dripped from her mouth. But even as she faltered, a fire ignited within her. she steadied herself.

Summoning the last of her strength, In an instant, she teleported away, disappearing into the shadows just as Adam prepared for another strike.

✧༺★༻✧

Vox’s eyes gleamed with triumph as the screen cut to black. “That’s right, Ryoba! Flee while you can! The ratings will be delicious! Two overlords, reduced to a fleeing wretch!” He chuckled to himself, already envisioning the headlines.

Adam watched her disappear, a mixture of surprise and concern on his face. “Wait! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings!” he called out, half-laughing, “I was just trying to lighten the mood! Don’t go, it was just a little fun!” he said in a mocking tone.

He turned back to Alastor, who struggled to rise from the attack managed a pained chuckle. “Oh, Adam, you’re a riot. You’ve just sent one of Hell’s finest packing. Now, that’s not exactly Bright of you, is it?”

Adam shrugged, a sheepish grin on his face. “Hey, all in good fun! But she was pretty intense! Did you see her moves? Like a ballet dancer on fire!”

Alastor rolled his eyes, wincing as he pushed himself up. “What a delightful metaphor, Adam. Now, if you could kindly focus on the matter at hand rather than waxing poetic, I would greatly appreciate it.”

As Alastor regained his composure, a sense of urgency washed over him. He needed to find Rosie, the only person who wouldn't take advantage of his vulnerable state.

“Enough of this nonsense.” Alastor declared, his voice rising with static as he Clutched his now broken cane and disappeared into the shadows.

Vox side viewed val and velvet, "HAH, that was actually the best thing I couldve seen happen today! I can't wait to finish off that sad heart-broken egotistical prick! " it was unevident if Vox was referring to Ryoba or Alastor, but either way he had a resentment for them both so..

(A/N) Don't really know where I'm going with this book lolz, Btw the only reason Ryoba stepped in was to try downprove Alastor. But Alastor and Ryoba aren't on bad terms x!! Since this show will feature Ryoba slot, I wanted to clear up why incase y'all don't have the time to read the description. She is my own OC and I feel writing boring without adding my own creative touch!!

Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter 

[vox-monstera]

Tag Game-Summer Goth Aesthetics

Thank you to @ghostoffuturespast for tagging me! Took me forever cause I just realized it was still in my likes waiting for me. 🫢

Rules: bold what applies to your character and their aesthetics; italicise those that somewhat apply; and strikethrough whatever doesn't apply

| VOX MONSTERA |

𝘏𝘈𝘜𝘕𝘛𝘌𝘋 𝘉𝘖𝘈𝘙𝘋𝘞𝘈𝘓𝘒

rickety ferris wheels

carnival lights through fog

saltwater taffy and popcorn

tarot card readings

childhood best-friends

thunderstorms over the sea

tear-streaked face paint

chipping animatronics partially submerged in brackish water

ill-fated games of truth or dare

vintage circus posters boasting mermaids and wolf-men

underwater caves marked with a skull and crossbones

darts that are a little too sharp

twinkling lights in the dark

distant and ghostly laughter

blue and pink cotton candy

sunburnt shoulders

cherry flavored sno-cones

switchblades tucked into costumes

a bloody trail into an old tent

𝘚𝘖𝘓𝘐𝘛𝘈𝘙𝘠 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘒 𝘙𝘈𝘕𝘎𝘌𝘙

the yellow eye shine of an unseen animal

circling turkey vultures

unnatural fluctuations in the passage of time

daddy long legs in rotting logs

distorted backwards speech through a walkie-talkie

unexplainable antler shrines

coniferous mountain horizons

star-like bonfire sparks whirling in an indigo night

nests of infant barn owls

claw marks in tent fabric

soft and distant howls

unexplained lights darting through trees

clawed footprints in the dirt

bomber jackets and hiking boots

an old and well-used shotgun

thunderstorms that darken the sky

a rusted and reliable truck

the smell of petrichor

a voice calling your name from the trees 

𝘚𝘖𝘜𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙𝘕 𝘊𝘌𝘔𝘌𝘛𝘈𝘙𝘠

magnolia blossoms

chipping white porch swings

spanish moss

suffocating humidity

faded photographs of lacy weddings

tire tracks in mud

mausoleum angels

family trees

the yellow-green eyes of alligators

repressed childhood memories bubbling to the surface

broken porcelain dolls

legs covered with mosquito bites

barbed wire

dark family secrets

stained white button downs

sweat drops down your spine

marshy swamp lands

weeping willow trees

rusted iron gates

cicadas in the summer

moss covered gravestones with fresh dirt

cursed family jewelry

old patina rosaries

fireflies at dusk

𝘙𝘖𝘈𝘋 𝘛𝘙𝘐𝘗 𝘉𝘜𝘙𝘕𝘖𝘜𝘛 

bloodshot eyes

flickering neon motel signs

aviator sunglasses

magic 8 balls

recurrent dreams of grey aliens

beaded curtains

dusty denim and incense smoke

sepia desert vistas

playlists of 1960s rock songs

coded messages in television static

comets in the night sky

fake ids

gas station snacks

jesus bobble heads

split lips

patchouli

paranoia between friends

ice cold diet coke

ripped jeans and converse

cigarette smoke drifting out of a car window

a 1960's white ford mustang

evergreen air fresheners

thousand yard stares

a gas station attendant who knows too many secrets

something dark following alongside your car

abandoned rest stops

rickety road signs that lead nowhere

It's been so long that I don't know who's done this and who hasn't, so if you see this and want to do this, consider yourself tagged! 😘

[abyssnighthawk]

Living Hell by Bella Poarch - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2PMGeHHrKE

Vital flinched as he heard Magnolia's laugh. He swore he told her to stay upstairs! He hurriee over into the living room where he saw Maggie sharing a glass of wine with Vox and Dette. "Nolia, babe! What are you doing here?" Vital strolled over and hugged her waist, his smile straining. "Vital, where have you been hiding this chick?" Vox chuckled. "Yeah, where have you been hiding me?" Magnolia looked at Vital, he caught the slight glare in her eyes. "Nolia, there's just so many powerful overlords here, I didn't want you to-" "I'm fine." Magnolia brushed him off. "Anyway, Bernadette was talking before you rudely interrupted." Vital growled a bit. "Nolia, let's talk upstairs." "No thank you." "Listen, this bratty bullshit is hot when it's just us two, but not around my guests. You're pissing me off." Vital snapped at her, causing demons to look over at the noise. "Oh, please Vital. I was down here looking for my stuff before I leave." Magnolia rolled her eyes. "Leave? Leave where?" "I'm leaving you." Magnolia said simply. "Didn't Val tell you? He spilled all the details of your little visits to Porn Studios." Valentino chuckled from the sideline. Vital shot him a glare. "That meant nothing, Nolia." Vital grabbed her paw, trying to sound sincere. "Don't care." Magnolia ripped her paw away. "Don't touch me. I don't want whatever you got from the whores you been sleeping with." "One of those whores was Angel!" Vital snarled, before his head whipped sideways and his face stung. Abigail shrieked with laughter. "I know damn well what you put Angel through." Magnolia hissed lowley. "So fuck you, and fuck this." Magnolia left the house, leaving Vital and the other overlords. Lucifer joined Abigail in laughter. Vital hissed at Lucifer, who only howled louder. "Get out!" As the overlords left Vital's home, Rosie made a note to fill Alastor in on the gossip.

[a-hazbin-spider]

"My standards for a good partner are non-existent. If I raised the bar remotely, not only would he TRIP, but he'd fall backward and break a hip." - from @voxuli!

Snort! Angel had to cover his mouth to keep himself from sputtering his spit. Vox entered the ring with some solid honesty and it made the spider damn near howl his laughter. Just the imagery he was given too, it was pure cinema! Val somehow failing to raise his heel an inch over a bar, the stiletto catching and sending him back- the man of the hour throwing out a hip in the process. Okay- take a breath, Angel, if you laugh too hard he might deck you.

“Hell, Vox, you got a way with words. Das fa sure. Hmm. But, that’s just makin’ a mess for yaself. Maybe you oughta let ‘im fall. Seems like he’s stumblin over it tha way it is. Maybe raisin’ tha bar is a good thing. Just sayin’. It wouldn’t kill ‘im to get knocked down a few pegs an’ consider you a lil bit.”

[misskittyhart]

No where is home.

The red skies bled their crimson glow across the dark city skyline. The distant sounds of screams, howls, laughter, and gunfire was always a constant sound track. Noisy, cacophonous, almost deafening to the point of numbing the senses. It was always like this. Sinners causing troubles. Violence, theft, murder and so much more. It ran through the streets rampant like a plague.

No one was down here because they were good. Of course this place was the devil’s playground. Cursed, gnarled, twisted like briar brambles in the darkest part of the wood. There she walked, the little red headed fox. Keeping a steady, brisk pace. Her tail flicked, ears high, perked and listening. Always on alert, ready to fight if need be.

Being a petite, pretty little thing often brought danger with it. It was a common occurrence that she would have to defend herself. There was a large twelve inch hunting knife on her thigh, that would deter anyone from trying to mess with her.

It was another lonely, quiet night for her. She had just finished her shift singing at the Black Dahlia. Getting on that stage reminded her of her hay day in the 1920s singing in New Orleans at the Silver Magnolia. Those golden days seemed so far away now. She made it to her apartment building, and quickly made it inside.

No one would greet her. No friends to call. No lover to hold her. She spent a solitary, and painfully lonely after life. It still felt the knife was buried deep into her breast. Twisted. Pain hurting her so badly. It was one of those nights. One of the ones that stung like salt into the open wounds in her heart.

The door opened with a little creaking sound as she went inside her home. Her little box that held her current life. So often she moved around. The fear her abusive ex husband would find her, was a looming shadow. That’s why she lived this life of solitary pain. Afraid if she found a glimmer of happiness with someone, then they would be in danger of being harmed by the man who ended her life.

Kitty moved to the kitchen. Pulling down a bottle of whiskey from one of the shelves, she poured three fingers. She knocked it back feeling the sharp sting in her throat as it warmed its way into her body. Her eyes closed. Not enough, she needed more tonight.

She took the bottle, and crystal glass to the living room. Sitting on the plush green couch she flicked the tv on. Vox’s face flickering across it as he was hosting another late night show. He was a fascinating man to her. A showman. She always liked people in entertainment, they were like stars. Bright, warm and inviting.

She drank more whiskey. Until her vision began to blur. Then her cheeks felt wet. Delicate, clawed finger tips touched her face lightly. She sniffled. She wasn’t sure when she started to cry, but it came over her like a tidal wave. Drowning. Pain tearing through the shreds of her briar wrapped heart. She was sobbing. Curled up on her plush velvet couch, her fluffy fox ears pinned back, tail tucked. She clung to a pillow, sobbing into it. Seeking the comfort of touch, needing to be held. It had been decades since she let any one in. Then she ran. Scared.

Her throat felt raw as the lump settled there. She sobbed, til her small body trembled. That voice from the tv was the only company in her apartment.

She was so horridly alone.

Drowning in whiskey.

[demigoddessqueens]

like I love you

Partly based off an anon ask about first time with Vax, and a follow-up convo with @southside-otaku , I’ve decided to make a part 2.

Yes there’s smut to start off AGAIN, 18+

The morning was just barely starting as the sun’s rays peaked into your room. Or was it now both your room? Considering the sleeping form and arm pulling you close, what happened last night was no dream at all.

Turning to your side, the gentle sleeping form of famed Vox Machina rogue Vax’ildan greets you. It really was a lovely sight first thing in the morning. His soft touch, hair strewn across the pillows, gentle snores and legs still intertwine with yours. Feeling the heat of the moment, you leaned towards to place a chaste kiss

Guess the whole sleeping form was a façade since your lover’s warm brown eyes opened as soon as he felt you. “G’morning, my love.” You scoffed lightly as you leaned down again for his lips. “Morning to you too, love….hmm you were so good last night. So perfect for me.” Vax’s grip tightened more as he moved to kiss your neck. “Likewise for you, although I’d say you were better.”

The rogue indulged more in the aftercare with you, tender kisses and touches growing more heated by the second. You could feel him growing more as it pressed against your leg, and your desire becoming slick as well. “Seems as though you want a repeat of last night, Mr Vessar. Who am I to stop you?” He hitched up one of your free legs over his hips as he slid so easily into you with a sharp gasp. “No man or woman would be mad enough to let you leave their bed after such a night. I intend to make good on that.”

You gasped as he pulled you closer, tighter to where those brown eyes melted more into you. Filling you to the brim as you shuddered still from the night before. He was here, there, everywhere all around you in your passions. Molded so perfectly to each other’s forms. You left a trail of love bites across his neck and collar bone, raking your nails down his back. The lustful moans of “no idea, nngh, how pretty, how good-oh fuck-you feel!” spurred you on as you pulled on his hair. You thrusted your hips more to meet his, wanting this to go on as long as possible with your bodies accepting and satisfying each other throughout the morning.

It was a different scene at the breakfast table. While you and your love languished away in your love making, the rest of Vox Machina had heard you both in the first early hours of the day. Scanlan was more than eager to break the tension once it dawned on them what FINALLY happened. “We’re gonna run with this until they get down here.”

They could see past the act when you both tried to come into the kitchen at separate times, both muttering casual “Good mornings”. Vex could see the love struck expression on her brother’s face, and when you both sat across from each other then she let the floodgates open.

“So, brother…seems as though we should be congratulating you for becoming a man.” Vax immediately started coughing on the small morsel of food he had eaten before the hits kept on rolling. Grog howled with laughter as Keyleth offered a sympathetic yet sweet “I’m so happy for you guys.”

Scanlan and Pike’s words only made your face heat up more. “When’s the wedding?? Who knew y/n had a set of pipes?” You turned your head towards Percy for any respite, but that look behind his clouded glasses said otherwise. “Honestly y/n, I didn’t realize how good Vax felt—.” Vex quickly cut him off before hearing more about her brother’s skills.

Well, this was going to be interesting from now on. You looked at your shell shocked lover with a look that said “well we had to let them one way or another.”

[chaimshelii]

I Want To Watch The Whole World Burn. Alastor x Reader

 Based off of AnnaPantsu’s cover of World Burn from the Mean Girls musical

and YES I did change the lyrics to make more sense :/

Art credit to the original owner (SamuraiAmes on twitter)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMVI1FMBHVg

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is (Y/N) (L/N) And I am a massive deal I will grind you to sand Beneath my Louboutin heel

This is what I get for helping

Helping someone lame fit in

Vaggie n’ Angie, enjoy your temporary win 

As I strut down to Alastor’s room I pass a clock. 3:34 a.m. Well past the time Al would be asleep. 

My name is (Y/N) (L/N) “(Y/N) is a fugly cow.” Hey Angie, how ya like me now?

I sneak in and quickly grab his microphone staff and run out of the hotel, but not before grabbing as many as matches as the tall building could even carry. 

I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline I wanna watch the world burn And everyone get me

i grab as many tabloids of the incident as I could fit in my satchel, as demons all over the city pointed and laughed at me. they won’t be laughing for long...

I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline

Al woke up from a nightmare, but those were becoming more usual as the days passed. He decided it was best to just listen to music as it was almost time to get dressed anyways. As he turns on his radio his heart sinks to his feet.

I wanna watch the world burn And everyone get mean

He throws on his clothes as fast as demonly possible, not caring about his hair, shoes or a smile even. And we know you’re never fully dressed without one, Al.

Vaggie, time to watch your back Angie, time to turn and cough

Al can’t believe the sight upon him. As he looks up he sees me standing on the roof. He’s lost all given shits about his appearance, only wanting to care about me standing on the roof. 

Because you took me down But you didn’t finish me off

I pull out the tabloids and matches, lighting the papers on fire and proceeding to chuck them off the tall buildings, singing into the microphone that everyone within a 30 mile radius could hear.

My name is (Y/N) (L/N) And in case you’re keeping score Angie may have won the battle But I will win the war, for I wanna watch the world burn!

Tears stream down Alastor’s face as he walks towards the building, the crowd howling with laughter at the used-to-be-feared Radio Demon.

[Demons in Pentagram City:] Vaggie is a grotsky bi-otch!

Vaggie gasps and runs back into the hotel. Some would say every demon in the city, even Lucifer are shocked at this display of anger.

I got the gasoline

I hopped from building from building, listening and watching Alastor’s world and reputation literally and figuratively being stripped from his hands. I should probably feel bad. He left me because people found out we we’re together. What kind of stupid- egomaniac-sociopath does that?! Oh, right. Alastor does.

[Demons in Pentagram City:] Angel Dust is a drug pusher!

Angel is angry. But not just angry. He’s guilty. And he damn well knows it.

I wanna make the world burn

I’ve never looked so evil in my life, and it felt good

[Demons in Pentagram City:] Charlie is a heaven dyke! (Y/N) is a fugly cow (Y/N) is a fugly cow

Alastor has never seen me so angry. And I’ve never felt so.... alive I could say

And you can quote this Ohh. Woah-oh-oh!

[Demons in Pentagram City:] Who wrote this? Who wrote this? Who wrote this?

I cackled. LOUD.

I wanna watch the world burn I got the gasoline! I wanna watch the world burn And everyone turn Mean

Fuck making this about me and Al.. I want everyone to be angry. infuriated even!

[Demons in Pentagram City:] So mean! I jump off the building, and land amongst the demons, who open a path towards Alastor’s sobbing figure, looking more decrepit he had ever been, even in living.

Mean

I strut towards him, when I finally reached him, every step I took I shoved him back by his chest until he fell onto his back. Where I stood over his shaking, crying body on the blood-stained, alcohol soaked, cracked concrete.

[Demons in Pentagram City:] So mean!

Mean! I wanna watch the world burn

[Demons in Pentagram City:] So mean!

Alastor tried to reach out to me, but I couldn't seem to care over the shouts, clapping and singing coming from the demons of Pentagram City.

[Demons in Pentagram City:] Who wrote this? Who wrote this?

The demons turned to the three V’s, Vox, Valentino, and Velvet, who were backing away

I wanna make the world turn So mean! I wanna watch the world burn!

An explosion goes off, smoke surrounding me for a split second, where I make my grand escape.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------Did y’all like it?? It’s my first fanfic and I hope I did good! FEEDBACK IS ACCEPTED :)

796 words.

1/1/2021 happy new year! :)

1:47 a.m.

[coockie8draws]

Fic under the cut

"Al?"

Alastor startled out of his upright slumber in the room Charlie had kindly offered him and he glanced down at her

"Hmm?" He mumbled, feeling a tad groggy.

Husk had yelled at him last night for staying awake for over a week straight and instructed him to get some sleep. So here Alastor was, standing in the corner of his room at the hotel, coat, bowtie, and shoes discarded. Charlie shifted from one foot to the other

"This is gonna sound really stupid, but I heard a noise in the kitchen, and the power keeps flickering. I already checked on Niffty and Angel, so I know it's not them, Vaggie isn't here right now, and Husk went home hours ago, and I'm… Too scared to go check it out," She babbled "Could you… Go see what it was?"

Alastor blinked at her for a moment before sluggishly nodding

"Oh! Of course, my dear. I'm sure it's nothing," He soothed, patting her shoulder.

Charlie followed after him to the top of the stairs, robe tightly wrapped around her. Alastor noted her hair was wet, so she'd likely just gotten out of the shower and probably wasn't wearing anything under her robe, which would explain why she felt so nervous about investigating the sound herself. She stayed at the top of the stairs as Alastor ventured down to the kitchen

"Be careful!" She called.

Alastor waved a sleepy hand

"I will," He mumbled, eyes hooded as he made his way to the kitchen.

His eyes slowly closed as he entered, wobbling slightly in his sleepy state. He opened his eyes, nothing. Then again, it was pitch black. Strange, they hadn't turned off the kitchen light that night. He took about three steps into the kitchen and slipped, hard, on the tiled floor.

"Eep!" He squeaked as he fell flat on his butt.

Alastor softly cursed his hooves, he should've put shoes on before coming downstairs. He turned over onto his hands and knees, getting his hooves under and pushing himself up, only to immediately do the splits as his hooves uselessly slipped on the immaculately cleaned tiles.

He took a deep breath and slowly raised himself up onto his hooves again, legs wobbling like mad as he desperately tried to keep his balance. One of his hooves slipped and he quickly lifted it, firmly planting his hands so he wouldn't slip again.

The kitchen light flickered and turned on. Alastor froze in his, admittedly compromising and extremely humiliating, position before slowly looking over his shoulder.

One of the windows had been pried open, and there was Vox, standing in front of the fridge, hand on the door like he intended to open it. He took his hand off the fridge and turned fully towards Alastor, expression blank.

They just stared at each other until Alastor's other hoof started to slip out from under him and he scrambled to keep his balance. Vox immediately bursted out laughing; hand on screen, arm clutching his side in hysterics.

Alastor's eyes flickered to radio dials and he blushed deeply

"S̷̪͂t̶͕͗o̷̥p̷͈̈͜ ̷͍͌l̴͇͠a̶̪̝̿̈́ū̸͖̘g̶̛̙͍h̴̹͇͑ḯ̴͔n̷̢͒ǵ̸͜ ̷̤̱̍͑a̶̺͌n̷͈̱̕͝d̸̮̻̃ ̶̥̊h̶͕͕͒̚ẹ̷͘l̷̨̹̓͠p̴̬ ̸̩̿m̷̤̈́é̸̦̈́!̶̟̃̓" He snapped.

Vox doubled over in laughter, clutching the counter to hold himself up before scrambling to take his phone out of his pocket

"I don't even care that you're gonna distort your face!" He howled, snapping a picture.

Alastor's face heated up even more, and he quickly pushed himself to his feet, only to immediately slip and fall on his butt again. Which just made Vox laugh harder

"Oh my god!" He snickered, taking more pictures "You're like a fucking toddler on ice!"

Alastor conjured magic in his palm and shot it at Vox, who quickly ducked

"Stop laughing!" He growled "You have a flat box for a head!"

Vox chuckled softly and approached, holding a hand out. Alastor leered at the gesture, he didn't trust it in the least

"Are you actually going to help, or are you just going to stand me up then let me slip so you can laugh at me some more?" He huffed.

Vox shrugged

"Take my hand and find out," He teased, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Alastor scoffed and grabbed Vox's hand, yelping as he was yanked to his feet. He wobbled, desperately trying to keep his balance to no avail. His hooves slipped again and he felt against Vox's chest. Vox snickered

"Oh, Alastor. Makin' a move are we?" He teased.

Alastor crinkled his nose in distaste

"You wish," He huffed, reaching out and grabbing the entryway frame.

He quickly hopped out of the kitchen and let out a breath of relief

"What are you doing here anyway?" He huffed.

Vox perked up like he just remembered something and returned to the fridge, pulling it open and grabbing a fancy bottle of tequila Angel Dust had brought in earlier that day

"This. Told Angie to hide it for me. Val and I have stayed steady for two and I wanted to surprise him with somethin' special," He explained as he closed the fridge.

Alastor fixed his hair

"Is two weeks really an accomplishment?" He drawled.

Vox made his way passed Alastor towards the front door

"It is with Valentino."

Alastor followed after him to make sure he left. Vox opened the door and stepped outside, turning towards Alastor and waving his phone back and forth

"Thanks for the show, I'm gonna have some good entertainment to last me a while," He snickered before heading off.

Alastor snarled and slammed the door before turning and heading upstairs. Charlie hopped out of his way

"What was it?" She asked.

Alastor opened the door to his room

"Just some common vermin," He huffed before slamming the door and returning to his corner to sleep.

He'd get Vox back for this if it was the last thing he did.

[bleachanimefan1]

Oblitus Part Eleven

Down In New Orleans

A tall demon strolled over to Valentino handing him an pack full of ice. He took a seat across from the overlord, sitting down in an very expensive leather chair. He was an overlord as well who was slim in figure. His head was a flat screen TV. He was wearing a striped tuxedo and black and red striped shirt with light blue ascot with a Wi-Fi symbol and a red bow tie. He was also wearing a small black top hat with antennas sticking out of it with a Wi-Fi design on it, in red and blue. Vox.

Jagged red and neon blue eyes on the screen stared at Valentino, as the demon sulked, who was watching the Television that was mounted on the wall. It showed his Studio completely destroyed, blown to bits, demolished.

 Valentino groaned as he took it from him removing his hand from his bruised eye. Valentino hissed in pain as placed the cool pack on his eye.

The pimp was sitting on the couch with an ice pack on his bruised eye, along with Velvet, who was holding her severed arm. Vox couldn't contain it anymore.

"What the Fuck happened to you two?!" He exclaimed as he nearly doubled over, howling in laughter.

Velvet narrowed her eyes glaring at the TV demon.

"It's that radio bastard fault!" She growled. "Look what he did to me!"

 Vox stared at her with an amused smile on his face as if it wasn't enough adding more insult to injury. "What are you whining for? It'll grow back." He replied. 

"You're not the one holding an missing arm! This is going to hurt like hell!" The harlequin minion whined. Vox rolled his eyes. 

"What did you two do to piss Alastor off?" Vox questioned. "You've must've really done something to set him off."

"There's some new dame who's under a contract with him." Valentino said looking at the TV demon as he removed the ice pack from his eye. Velvet scoffed. 

"Why he would put up with a human woman, hell if I know, that's for sure?" She replied, shrugging her shoulders, as she slumped further on the couch.

Vox's eyes widen. Since when has Alastor ever been interested in just one woman? Especially, a human one at that, a weak pathetic creature?  Gears began to form in the TV demon's brain as he tried to process this. A light bulb flashed as a plan was starting to form. Perhaps he could use this to his advantage. Vox chuckled devilishly and smirked with a wide malicious grin across his screen. He leaned forward in his chair with his hands clasped together.

"Tell me more."

 Angel, Cherri, and Anna returned back to the hotel with Alastor. As soon as Angel opened the door walking inside with Alastor on his back, with Anna and Cherri behind him, Charlie was standing in front of the group with Vaggie beside her. 

 "Hey Blondie, what's up?" Angel asked. Charlie didn't answer him as she pulled out her Hellphone holding it out to them, showing Valentino's Studio in ruins.

 "What did you guys do?! You're all over the news!" She exclaimed furiously.

 "We'll explain it later, princess. Right now, Smiles needs attention." Angel said.

 "What the hell is with all this commotion? I've got a huge hang over so this had better be good!" Husk shouted walking over towards the group along with Niffty. The cat demon frowned as he noticed Alastor. "What the fuck happened to him?"

Angel explained everything to everyone how Valentino captured him, and how Anna, Alastor and Cherri had rescued him. 

"Smiles got hit with an angel's weapon. He's hurt bad." The spider demon tells them.

"Take Al to his room and we'll be up to help once we get some medical supplies." Charlie said. Niffty walked over to Anna.

 "But, first lets fix you up!" She shouted.

Before Anna could protest, the cyclops had quickly darted and started spinning around the human like a tornado until she stopped and was now standing in front of her. Anna looked down to see that her favorite shirt was now stitched up with no rips along with her blue jeans in one piece as well, looking brand new. Anna smiled as she looked down at the cyclops demon.

"Thanks."  She said, gratefully.

"Always willing to lend a helping hand to a friend of Alastor's, especially to a friend of mine!" Niffty grinned. 

Angel took Alastor upstairs with Anna following behind him leading her to the radio demon's room. The spider opened the door and Anna peeked inside. Her eyes widen in shock to see a swamp right in front of her and within the distance a wood cabin. Fireflies glowed in the dark as if lighting the way. The two stepped inside stepping into the muddy ground and Angel closed the door behind them and headed towards the cabin. Anna eyed the murky water carefully seeing seeing several alligators swimming in it. They were watching the two with a hungry look in their eyes as they advanced towards Alastor's cabin.

"How can we be outside while we're inside the hotel?" Anna questioned. Angel shrugged.

"Hell if I know? Smiles is the one who set it up like this. He probably did some voo doo or whatever you call it magic as a portal to his domain." The spider demon murmured. "Knowing him and his strange ways, that's probably what he did."

The two continued until they were arriving closer towards the cabin and reached the front door. Angel opened it and the two walked into the cabin. Anna looked around and saw some deer trophies mounted on the wall along with antlers. A small bed sat near a window next to a bookcase stacked with books on every shelf. A burnt out fireplace was sitting in the middle of the room. There were several photos sitting on the mantel.

Anna walked closer and she saw that there were of a man. Big almond brown doe eyes were staring back into hers, who wearing small round rimmed glasses. He had light brown skin and short brown hair but it looked as if it was difficult to manage. But, what really draw the human woman's attention was the man's unnatural smile, grinning back up at her.

Anna's eyes widen when she recognized who it was in the picture, Alastor.

He looked completely different than he was now, a human. Anna saw that there were some when he was younger and also some with him with a beautiful woman with him. She had light caramel skin and dark brown hair that was up in a bun with a few loose strands hanging on the sides of her face, wearing a bright red dress. His mom perhaps?

However, Anna noticed there was a frame face down. She picked it up and looked down at the picture. It was a family portrait of her and Alastor along with a tall white man who was standing behind them. His head was torn off from the picture. His father, maybe? Why was this picture face down and not standing with the others? Anna noticed that there was something wrong, Alastor and the woman weren't smiling. Anna slowly began to feel uneasy by the photo and she placed the frame back exactly where it was.

Angel walked over to the bed and laid Alastor down onto it as the woman looked silently at the picture. 

 "I'm going to start a fire to help warm up the place. I'll go look for some wood, watch over him will ya?" The spider called out.

"Sure." Anna replied, still looking at the picture. "I'll get him cleaned up."

She heard the door close behind her as Angel left, leaving her and Alastor alone in the cabin. Anna walked out of the living room and quickly into a small kitchen. She opened a cupboard and grabbed a bowl filling it with water and some towels. As she walked back into the living room, Anna saw Alastor stirring in the bed. 

She quickly rushed over him and placed the bowl on the floor. Anna reached out and placed her hand Alastor's forehead to feel it completely hot. He was burning with a fever. She dampened the towel into the water and started to clean the dried blood off from the demon.

As she finished, cleaning some of the blood off from his face, she looked down at the caked blood near his stomach. She needed to take his suit off to clean the wound. Anna felt her cheeks began to burn. Okay, she can do this! It's not like he was going to be naked, only half naked from the waist up. She felt her face lit completely up turning completely red. That did not make her feel any better...

"Just do it quick like a band-aid and it will be over with!" Anna murmured to herself as she reached out grabbing the lapels of Alastor's coat. She carefully pulled the collar down slightly until sliding his suit completely off. She folded it and placed the coat on the floor then turned her attention towards Alastor's shirt. She slowly began to unbutton each button one by one. Anna's eyes widen and her breath hitched as it got caught in her throat. She gasped in shock.

On Alastor's chest and body, up to his neck, was completely riddled in scars.

[chroniclesofthesevenflames]

Grogleth Thoughts Pt 2

Another headcanon dump incoming!

*****

Keyleth tries to teach Grog how to meditate and attune to nature. As time goes on and Grog becomes more and more interested in the Stormlord, he asks her to teach him how to listen to storms. They spend nights outside in Zephrah, watching the distant storms and listening to the wind. Grog never learns to listen, but he does learn how calming it can be to sit beside Keyleth.

Grog teaches Keyleth how to push her rage into her magic. He doesn’t do anything specific or awesome. He just pushes the druid to feel, to stop bottling up her sadness and anger. She howls into the sky, damning the world and everything else. She cries, she screams, she rages. She breaks the chains around her heart pushes back the fear inside her. Grog had never been more excited or proud to watch a hurricane.

She didn't see it coming. No one did. It was just so surprising to her. The realization marked the strangest day of her life and THAT was saying something. But it was there, sitting underneath her skin, a growing urge to hear booming laughter and the clatter of a flagon, the flutter in her stomach at simple, yet heartfelt declarations, the rush of excitement and something a little darker when she hears a howl of rage and pride. And when she saw the massive smile on his face, her chest filled with so much warmth and light she thought she would burst.

One night while Vox Machina stays in Whitestone, Keyleth asks to stay with Grog. He opens his door without question and offers her his bed. They end up sleeping in the same bed and waking in what can only be called a compromising position. A position that leads to a first kiss and soft confessions. The following night, Keyleth goes straight to Grog’s room and climbs into his bed. His arms are already open and he wraps her up, pulling her to his chest. She snuggles into him and puts her arms around him in kind. Neither one ever slept alone after that.

*****

If you have any headcanon for or questions about Grogleth, please send me an ask!

[kitsumaniac]

5 Years of Critical Role!

I’ve been following the goofy and wild antics of Vox Machina and Mighty Nien for 5 long years and I love it.

Being there for their days on Geek & Sundry was great! I’ve started watching them while they were on episode 11. Before then, I was never interested in Dungeons & Dragons. I guess at that time I’ve felt that more solitude of gaming on a TV/computer was more my style, by extension, playing with friends at my video game club at university and watching people play games on YouTube.

One day, when I used to watch PewDiePie (eehhhh, when he was good), and he was doing a special RP D&D session with CinnamonToastKen and DM’d by someone I was just introduced to, Matt Mercer. I put it on while I was playing Skyrim. I can honestly say at that time, I was howling in laughter trying to cheese leveling up my Stealth.

https://youtu.be/YdDmu7tP2go

At the end he plugged the first time I’ve heard the name “Critical Role” and said he was DMing with other voice actors on Geek and Sundry. And mentioned he VA’d Levi from Attack on Titan. I did my research, and I was interested.

Not even an hour later, I checked out Geek and Sundry and discovered Critical Role. I’ve never laughed harder in my life of how funny it was. I was enthralled with their adventures for the 11 episodes they had out. But I was in my senior year, and had many exams to study for. So I’ve held off to focus on my studies. Few months later and a move with family, I haven’t seen CritRole until it reoccurred to me. So I caught up as quickly as possible and while going to my first con up in Alaska. Also realizing too late, Mr. Liam O’brian visited to the con- AND IT FLIPPIN’ SLIPPED MY MIND THAT WAS HIM AS A VA GUEST. I’ve missed my chance to meet him. Any who.

After catching up. I remained vigilant in watching them live or at least catching up as soon as possible.

After watching for a while, I learned pretty quick of how to play the 5E game through just watching them. And years later I, unfortunately, found a free version online of the Player’s Handbook, DM’s Guide, Monster Manual, etc. BUT FEAR NOT. I’ve bought the D&D Beyond and have my own collection of physical D&D books, which are slowly building. Because of jobs.

And now, 5 years later, I am forever in love with the series. Even watching other shows like Team Four Star’s Natural One-ders and The Unexpectables, played by Takahata101, Gaijin Goombah, Chris Zito, Distortion Devil, and their DM MontyGlu. I’ve even gotten into playing at a local comic store with AL and even played my first Homebrew game, which the AL DM was busy and another player taken up up the mantle for a bit. I’ve got to play as a Hexblade Baphomet (Race created by Chris Zito, support his work, it’s good stuff) and had fun with a story/RP driven game rather than a combat heavy dungeon crawler.

I have a lot to thank Critical Role for introducing D&D to me in a fun and easily approachable way, for which made it staggeringly fun and interesting. I couldn’t have found a more impressive group of individuals and an— interesting community to be a part of.

To another 5 years! And beyond!

The Unexpectables, Wednesday nights at 7 PM (California time, idk your time zones, please do the math) on Takahata101’s stream-

https://www.twitch.tv/takahata101/videos

Baphomet Race-

https://www.dmsguild.com/m/product/292898

[vexing-imogen]

bones, hearts, and other broken things

The Lady of Whitestone’s scream echoes through the foyer as Sylas sinks his fangs into her neck. Her blood warms his throat as he feeds, temporarily sating his ever present thirst. She cries out in pain as she struggles against him ineffectually, her shoulder wrenching out of socket, the bones of her wrist snapping in his iron grasp.

Good he thinks, snarling with satisfaction. Let her suffer. Let her suffer as Delilah was made to suffer.

“Please,” she whimpers, voice already weak. It’s pathetic. She’s pathetic. Weak. It is the greatest injustice that Whitestone is being ruled by this mewling kitten instead of his strong, proud Delilah. His Delilah, who never once lowered herself to beg for anything, not even her life.

He removes his mouth from her to growl in her ear. “Please what?” he snaps. “Are you asking me for mercy?” He tightens his grip on her and she shrieks. “I will grant you the same measure of mercy that you granted my wife when you murdered her.”

He sinks his teeth back into her flesh, drinking more slowly this time. “If you’re going to kill me, fucking do it already,” she says, struggling to break his grip.

Sylas laughs at that. “I don’t think so,” he says, bringing a hand up to caress her cheek. I think I’ll wait for your darling husband to arrive home, so he can watch me tear your throat out. That way he’ll know how it feels to watch the love of his life be slaughtered in front of him and be powerless to stop it.” He laughs again, softer this time, as he kisses her neck, fangs scraping her jugular. “I suppose I am granting you a small bit of mercy, killing you first. You’ll never know how it feels to live without him.”

She’s trembling against him, her heartbeat sounding quick and panicked in his ears. There’s something more there, too. Twin flutters. Soft and impossibly fast. His booming laugh echoes through the hall when the answer dawns on him. His free hand slips from her neck to rest on her abdomen. She stiffens against him, whispers a soft, “No.”

He strokes his hand over her stomach gently. “So, this is why they left you behind. Why they left you alone and unprotected. They thought you’d be safer at home.” He laughs. “They were wrong.”

He pauses to drink from her again. “Perhaps this changes things,” he muses. “Maybe I won’t wait to kill you after all. Maybe he’ll come home to find you in your bed. Pale. Lifeless. Belly torn open and your innards strewn across the sheets.” He hums thoughtfully. “Or perhaps he’ll find you laid out on the altar of your brother’s temple.” He kisses her neck again. “Did you know you taste like him?” he whispers before sinking his fangs in and drinking deep.

The cry she lets out is feral, primal, anger replacing the fear and the pain. She whispers something, and he’s suddenly blinded, reeling back from her, his mouth burning as if he’d drunk acid.

When his eyes adjust, she’s standing before him, emitting brilliant, divine light. Her eyes burn white with the intensity of the sun. She smirks. “Champion of Pelor, bitch,” she says, lunging at him.

She manages to jump onto his back, wrapping arms and legs around his neck and torso. He howls in agony at her touch as he tries and fails to wrest her off of him.

“Sylas!”

A voice rings out across the foyer, and he turns to find Cassandra de Rolo, in her dressing gown, rapier in hand. She charges him, and he just barely manages to draw his own sword in time to parry her first strike.

Even with a radiant half-elf clinging to his back, Sylas is stronger than Cassandra, and he disarms the girl quickly. He strikes hard with his sword, cleaving open her chest, and Vex’ahlia’s grip on him slackens as she screams Cassandra’s name.

He gets a grip on her bad shoulder and tears her off of him, hurling her across the room. Her skull hits the wall with a sickening crack, and she falls limp, the glow dimming but not fully extinguished. He’s looming over Cassandra, raising his sword to strike her down, when an explosion sounds behind him and something impacts his hand, nearly causing him to drop his sword.

He spins around to see Percival standing in the open doorway, gun trained on him, black smoke rolling off of him in waves. He smirks, eyes burning with cold hatred as the rest of Vox Machina steps into view behind him. “Hello, Sylas.”

The pup foolishly puts his gun away and pulls out a sword, charging Sylas with a roar echoed by the goliath that bounds in after him. Sylas parries the goliath’s axe, and swings at Percival, almost catching him across the ribs. He roars in frustration and goes to strike again, but he’s caught off guard by a voice ringing out from behind him.

“Oi, your mama’s so ugly, even Vecna wouldn’t take her on a date!”

The goliath’s axe sinks into his shoulder, and then again into the left side of his chest. He manages to land two hits on Percival, slicing open his cheek and slashing across his thigh. Thunder booms above him, producing a bolt of lightning that nearly forces him to his knees.

A radiant blast hits him square in the chest, and he should run, but Percival is right in front of him, bleeding. He lunges for the pup, intending to rip out his throat, but something strikes him in the back. An arrow, he realizes as thorny brambles erupt around him, and he falls to the floor prone.

He catches a glimpse of Vex’ahlia, propped against her bear, a bow clattering to the ground beside her. A shadow falls over him, and he looks up to meet Percival’s eyes.

The pup has his gun out again, and he’s contemplating Sylas. “Would you like to do the honors, Cass?” he asks as his sister steps into view, her rapier in hand.

She ponders for a moment. “Together, I think, brother.”

Percival nods, cocking his gun as Cassandra rests her rapier at his neck. “Give our best to Delilah,” he says, and pulls the trigger.

Percy doesn’t even bother to watch Keyleth and Pike unleash their Holy Bag of Dicks on the dust that was Sylas Briarwood. He’s dropping his gun and racing to Vex’s side as soon as the trigger’s pulled. She’s conscious, but just barely, the radiant glow emanating from her flickering like a dying candle.

He pulls her into his lap, apologizing profusely when she cries out in pain. “I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He peppers her face with gentle kisses, and he can see the deep brown of her eyes through the blinding white that overtakes them when she invokes Pelor’s blessing. She’s deathly pale, her breath shallow, throat torn open with multiple bite wounds. “Pike!”

He hears the clank of armor as the gnome rushes to them. “Okay, okay,” she says, laying her hands on Vex. “It’s gonna be okay, Percy. She’ll be okay.” Golden white light bursts from her hands, washing over Vex and Percy. He feels his own wounds seal up as he watches the healing magic work over his wife. Her breath evens out, color returning to her cheeks, the marks on her neck now barely visible scars.

She stares up at him, gives him a weak smile. “Hi.”

Percy stares at her for a moment before he crushes her to his chest, sobs overtaking him. “I’m sorry.” He repeats it like a mantra. “I’m so sorry, darling. I’m sorry I left. I should have been here to protect you.”

She clutches him just as tight, hushing him gently. “How could you have known?” she murmurs. “None of us had any idea he was watching us. We all thought I’d be safest here.” She takes his face in her hands, forces him to look at her. “This wasn’t your fault.”

“Say it enough, and I might actually start to believe you,” he mutters, pressing his forehead against hers.

She sighs, and he closes his eyes against her scowl. “That’s the best I’m getting for a while, isn’t it?”

“Probably,” he says, starts combing his fingers through her hair. “How are you feeling?” he asks, catching her wince when she shrugs. He only has to glance at Pike and she’s quietly pouring more healing into Vex. He swallows hard, preparing for the question he doesn’t want to ask. “Is the...is the baby...”

He sees tears start to well up in her eyes. “I don’t know,” she says, her voice catching. “Percy, I don’t...”

He hugs her close again. “It’s alright,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her temple. “It’ll be alright.”

Pike clears her throat softly. “I think I can help,” she offers.

Vex turns to her hopefully. “You can?”

“I know a spell,” she says, shuffling closer. “It should only take a couple of minutes.”

They wait as patiently as they can as Pike casts the spell, but they’re both fidgeting by the time the two minute, and then the five minute mark passes. After ten minutes have gone by, Pike beams up at them. “Well, do you guys want the good news first, or the better news?”

Vex sags against Percy, and he can feel tears starting to soak his shirt. Percy lets out the breath he’s been holding. “The baby’s fine then?” he confirms.

Pike grins. “Yeah. They’re both a-okay.”

Percy’s heart skips a beat, and Vex’s grip tightens on his arm. “Both?” they ask in unison.

“Yeah,” Pike nods. “Congratulations, it’s twins.”

Vex’s hands go to her belly, and she’s smiling through tears when she finally looks at Percy. “We’re having twins,” she says, disbelieving.

“Apparently so,” he says with a laugh that’s only slightly maniacal.

Their delighted laughter echoes through Whitestone Castle as the first rays of sunlight peek over the mountains.