#votes for the i am insane thing will go to mix of everything

[brunhielda]

Because this is becoming THAT blog-

The one where I review old movies we all have already seen, but I personally, have not seen for years until recently.

I just watched “An American Tale.”

If you were a child of the 90s, you just thought- “There are No Cats in America 🎶? THAT American Tale?”

Yes.

If you had that thought, you likely already know. If you have not had the absolute joy- buckle up. I am going to rant about a classic.

First of all- This is Don Bluth.

His movies do not get worse with age.

They get BETTER.

And American Tale is example number ONE.

No, it is not fond memories or nostalgia glasses, you can breath, and then go treat yourself to a viewing.

Secondly- the man did not dumb down or sanitize his history.

He said “I’m going to tell the immigrant story” and then opened with a fucking ethnic cleansing.

I said what I said.

The movie is set in the early Russian Empire, a time full of anti-Semitic sentiment and enforced laws, also seen in “Fiddler on the Roof.” Fiddler on the roof might actually be tamer on the subject.

Every other historical note in this movie is on point and easy enough to look up in a history book, if you have the common sense to realize that names have been altered.

The Statue of Liberty was not built by a pigeon, for example. It was built by a Frenchman. (Frederic Auguste Bartholdi).

I don’t know of an “honest John,” but I did guffaw out loud when he started taking names of the dead at funerals to add to his vote count. Ghost votes were very real, one of the reasons people are still so twitchy about voter fraud today.

I do not recall a moment in 1886 when the minorities of New York managed to run off prominate members of authority… but with how on point everything else is? It would not shock me.

Thirdly- Bluth DID NOT FLINCH

I don’t remember who said it first, but both Bluth and Spielberg had a belief that you could put very sad and scary things in children’s films, as long as the ending was happy.

This movie has multiple nightmare moments. Cats, monster waves, more cats, bugs and fish, and of course, the horrifying “Mouse of Minsk” (iykyk).

The thing is, it’s not even how they are drawn. Like, yes, the image is scary, but it’s the storytelling around it. It’s the lighting change. The soundtrack. The horrific sound effects. Seriously- whoever did foley on this film deserves all the awards- you make me scared of the kitty kats, and I LOVE cats. 🐈

Some people will question whether or not it is appropriate for small children. I would say maybe wait until they are six, and watch it with them, but they should watch scary things if they can. Being scared in appropriately safe space teaches you how to react to fear and handle moments when you are scared in real life. It is my major argument for Halloween. But each parent has to do as they think is best for each individual child. In any case, watch this one first before showing it to your kids- definitely more scary than you remember.

Finally- the animation on this film is a national treasure. I honestly hope this film is in the Library of Congress collection.

There are animation techniques here that don’t exist anymore.

Sparks. Sparkles. Glimmers. Stars in the Night Sky. Smoke billows.

Actually, I almost paused the film on a smoke billow. Sony is doing some things in the recent “Spiderverse” trilogy that are insane- and part of it is their mixed animation.

All the smoke billows? Hand drawn.

They look the same as Bluth’s smoke in this film, which is making me wonder if one of their artists studied under him. Maybe not- maybe they just did their homework on good hand drawn cloud formations. Either way, realizing how close they got to the master work in this film made me appreciate them even more.

Speaking of insane animation-

I don’t know WHO Bluth felt he had to show off to, but this man could DRAW WATER and he fucking knew it.

Like water is hard to do, ok? Like hands, Da Vinci had notebooks full of sketches of the substance, proving it to be the bane of the artistic existence.

Most water in hand drawn animation comes in two forms-

Flat water color with pretty things floating in it to distract you-

Or drawn over a live video of water that they spliced into the image.

Even that was hard to do, and they used a technology no longer available to us. It looks pretty cool honestly.

But no, not DON fucking BLUTH.

Not only can this man hand draw water without the underlying video, but he draws it moving in multiple different ways. He shows it from the top, side, and sinking underneath (with moving bubbles and shifting light, no flat blue for him).

He turns it into a NIGHTMARE FUEL WAVE MONSTER.

He ADDS it to SCENES it DIDNT HAVE TO BE IN!

The more I watched this film, the more I realized that if Milt Kahl had the head swaggle, Don Bluth had water, and by God was he going to use it.

He wrote plots AROUND the idea of water, so he could showcase it in every scene. “Rock-a-doodle,” and “Pebble and the Penguin” come to mind. “Anastasia,” “Thumbelina” and “All Dogs Go to Heaven” all feature action scenes in water. Heck- the one in “All Dogs Go To Heaven” came out of no where, and makes so much more sense if it was just Bluth wanting to show off.

“An American Tale” had the travel by boat sequence and our main hero being thrown over board. He could have left it there. NOPE. There were puddles and sewers and fire hoses and action scenes at the docks.

And the few scenes without water? Let’s throw some scary sparks in there. Maybe some smoke billowing. For funzies.

Also- we’re going to have a Love Song with the most incredible Night Sky you have ever seen and a Comedic song featuring fun house mirror distorted reflections because WHY NOT???

I think he was trying to make sure Disney regretted him leaving, the way you dress up when you know your toxic ex will be there, and I love that for him. 🩷

Also- the backgrounds are all beautiful water color. I love a good water color.

Also- yeah, the sound track holds up. The songs are just as catchy as they ever were- if you have ever seen this movie you WILL find yourself singing along.

As previously mentioned, when it comes to the scary parts, the composer UNDERSTOOD THE ASSIGNMENT and the music easily fits into a good horror film.

And finally- the music at the finale when everything is made right, and the happy ending is finally here, is the most heart breaking thing you will ever hear. You will cry. Watch the movie, but bring the tissues. 🤧

This movie is definitely worth a watch.

This movie is more than worth a watch, it should be mandatory for elementary history and college animation classes alike.

But also it’s just fun. 🤩

[leam1983]

Atomic Heart - Thoughts

A few years ago, the idea of a gaggle of Russian devs comparing skillsets and going "Hey, we could beat Ken Levine at his own game, but with our own cultural sensibilities!" wasn't that shocking. A few years ago, Mundfish were just the one, single Russian developer most gamers could name. A few years ago, Atomic Heart was just a gaggle of weird pre-rendered footage that looked like a mix of everything and nothing, slathered in a thick layer of uchronic Gorbachev-era USSR lore. For most of us, it probably looked and felt a lot like "Russian Bioshock", to make an easy comparison, with in-universe TV screens playing snippets of Nu, Pogodi! - effectively Russia's charmingly passé take on everything Tex Avery and MGM Studios-baseed.

Now, though? I think it's safe to say the devs themselves and most politically-savvy gamers are feeling a fair bit of the ol' cringe, to be fair. Imagine spending more than seven years building a version of the USSR that never was, one where a mixture of technological miracles and a rock-solid policy of isolation turns Russia into a technological Atlantis in the mid-sixties. Imagine doing that while seeing your own Prime Minister lose his marbles to the hardliners in the Orthodox Church, to the point where he embraces some misbegotten Messianic grift and crowns himself the hero of a conflict he, himself instigated.

Ouch.

I'm writing this a few days after headlines coming out of some dystopian Sci-Fi hook are hitting the Canadian airwaves, starting with Russian immigrants seeking exile not just in America, but in Canada as well. After displaced Ukranians, we're seeing scared and confused Russian-nationals who, after facing the drift of their weak democratic institutions into irrelevance, realized exactly just who and what they'd voted for.

It's especially weird to play a game called Atomic Heart on the day that sees Vladimir Putin tear apart the Russian Federation's agreement to nuclear non-proliferation. It's an empty gesture meant to scare America and its allies into staying away, but the fact that he's gone this far and that he spent two hours this morning addressing the Duma in self-aggrandizement is, well...

It's surreal. It's scary, and it makes Major Nechaev's entry into the pantheon of square-jawed First-Person Manly Men of Adventure very, very awkward. Fairly more awkward, at least, than the game's effort at some form of English adaptation.

The voice actors do well enough, sure, but the things they say occasionally don't make a single lick of syntactical sense, even if you're taking into account the fact that someone's difficult job involved bending over backwards to make Russian colloquialisms sound natural in English.

Remember Tintin's Captain Haddock and his blistering blue barnacles? Well, the world has now been graced with Major Nechaev's Crispy Fucking Critters. You'll hear that one over and over again.

Crispy Critters!

The fuck?

Oh, it's still an adaptation, sure enough - there's substitutions that make sense where appropriate - but you also get the sense that there's something to the Russian sense of a Narrative Shooter's lead character that feels extremely alien to the Canadian that I am. Nechaev is petulant in responses and callbacks that don't warrant snippy behavior, and obedient and focused in ways that feel a little too literal in others. He'll swear like a sailor one moment and then try and make a pointed inference the next, he'll voice his boredom in intentionally tedious situations involving puzzle-solving and then take out his frustration on the first enemy he sees. It's like I'm piloting a Kvass-obsessed five year-old in the body of the Dudebro-iest of all Dudebros East of the Dniepr River - and he's meant to be likeable.

What is this, Bioshock for Gopniks?

Characterization aside, the basic hooks are as predictable as you'd please. We find ourselves in Russia the Victorious, with China being eluded to be just as insane in terms of observed progress and claimed societal contentment, while suspiciously little is said of the rest of the world. Everything's great, androids have made the Communist utopia manifest - and then everything goes to shit. As you'd expect.

As to why? Pick the usual plot vectors, mostly. Sabotage, greed, envy, Man's generalized hubris - they're all there and not quite as adeptly introduced and handled as the game seems to think. We're even given sequences involving an alternate Gorbachev pontificating on the dangers a haywire collective of laborer machines poses to the Party's ideals - it's the October Revolution all over again, except the laborers now run on 486 processors and some gooey and gloopy miracle substance called Polymer.

Suffice it to say, the ending, in my experience, proved to be unsatisfactory. The gameplay was serviceable, even if the only real innovation brought to the table is more or less cribbed from the Borderlands series and involves using a bit of glove-assisted telekinesis to Hoover in everything consumable and collectable with the push of a button - and difficulty levels aren't quite adequately calibrated. The Narrative difficulty has some teeth if you're not careful, Normal is fairly punishing and Hard, in some places, is strictly unfair. Gird your loins, SoulsBorne players, you're about to go Full Casual on this one - Normal is actually hard.

Oh, and the upgrade stations are run by Alexa's horny low-budget cousin. The first time you activate a NORA unit to sell some cruft or buy upgrades comes with a cutscene that shows you absolutely nothing, but that probably should still warrant an age gate, just to be on the safe side...

So, no spoilers given, but do I recommend Atomic Heart? Probably, sure - just... not now. Not in the late winter or early spring of 2023, at least. The entire thing feels poorly-timed and what would've been just dumb, brainless fun is now tainted by everything that's characterizing the news circuit, these days.

Maybe in a few months or years, we'll be able to imagine Major Nechaev stomping his boot on the neck of a certain wannabe spymaster with a thing for bare-chested nature hikes, and we'll be able to do so without any sense of unease.

Major P3, as he's otherwise known, seems like the exact sort of loose cannon to tell delusional self-styled potentates with their finger on Armageddon to go eat his shorts.

[xenofact]

It's Imaginary Children All The Way Down

Imaginary Children play a huge role in America's "extractive politics." By extractive politics I mean those that use people and their resources as fuel, usually returning nothing, and often causing them great damage. One way to get people to go against their own interests is to invoke imaginary children.

We've seen this with evangelizing charities promising to help children in other countries - of course middlemen took their cut, evangelized, and ignored the real causes of suffering in the world. But everyone got to pat themselves on the back while surprisingly little got done. You might see pictures of real children in need, but there was always an abstraction in the pitches and grifting that made them less than real.

Then there's abortion in America, which historically was just a way to get votes without resorting to old racism routines. People are wound up by politicians and preachers to absolutely get distraught over imaginary children while ignoring the plight of very real human beings. You never see someone say "I worry about the children so I am against abortion and for universal health care" or something. So people vote anti-choice and then suddenly find they can't get IFV, medical treatments, and so on and everything is worse. No real children or people are helped, but those maybe-babies are somehow safe.

(Of course, you'll notice racist crap keeps coming into the anti-choice side when they argue things like we need more babies so we're not replaced with some kind of non-white people. Anti-Abortion politics always had racial fear in it.)

Further along the grift-on-imaginary is the Satanic Panic crap over the centuries that morphed into the entire QAnon/Save the Children insanity of the 2010s-2020s. Evil forces were doing awful things to children in rituals, draining their blood to make drugs, and other things fevered grifters and sanity-challenged posters could come up with. Just like other Satanic Panics there was no evidence, because it was all just a mix of grift and attempts to call political opponents child-victimizing pervert Satanists. It was all about imaginary children, and it led to real-world consequences from conspiracy theorists.

Oh, and of course, those propagating these conspiracy of child-consuming cabals somehow ignored real children, real suffering, and questionable sexual behavior among their heroes. Because of course they did.

By the time you get to imaginary evil cults victimizing imaginary children it imaginary scenarios it feels like you've hit peak made-up-child-for-grift. Where can you go when you resurrect anti-Semetic tropes, witch-hunts, bonkers consiracy theories, and pathological politics and voltron them together? It feels like there's no where else to go in the field of finding ways not to give a shit about real kids.

Wrong, you can go into the future and take the Imaginary Kids to the final fronteir.

We see this in weird futurists, startup grifters, and long-termist pseudo-philosophers. They have to think about the kids of the future! Those Future Kids are just as important as kids these days if not more so! Also this justifies them getting rich doing cryptocurrency startups for nutritional supplements and not paying their taxes. Someday all that money they have will be used to make a better future, and not just wasted in a midlife crisis after their fifth divorce and an FTC investigation.

The Imaginary Kids have gone cosmic, and assholes can justify being part of an exploitative economy and abusing people because they might help Future Kids. It's not a grift or daddy issues, really!

Conspiracy bullshit, religious fanaticism, and futurist greed-excusing are all the same. They rely on Imaginary Kids to get you to buy their crap and excuse their abuse.

Its up to us to focus on real people, not empower these assholes, and shove their face into the suffering they excuse and cause.

Xenofact

[nishiannoya]

"I still can't believe you think so low of yourself, princess," said Makki with a disappointed tone as he continued taking pictures of your precious face. Your teary eyes look directly at him as you kept taking his whole dick on your mouth. You were doing your best trying not to gag as the tip hit the back of your throat, but it was not an easy task. Especially since Matsukawa insisted on thrusting at your pussy from the back at an insane pace.

"Doesn't she look beautiful, Matsu?" he asked, showing the other guy his phone with your pictures on it. Matsukawa slapped your ass hard enough for you to moan loud, causing Hanamaki to growl at the sudden vibration.

"So fucking beautiful," he agreed. Your cunt clenched at the conversation of the two boys. It was too much, and they know it, but they won't stop until you see yourself the same way they see you. And that requires more than one round, for sure.

I already told you this but I fucking love you 🤍

f!reader, filming, male masturbation, humor, poly w/ matsuhana

18+ only - MINORS DNI

Ding!

It's a beautiful day in Buenos Aires, the city just waking up as a certain brown haired athlete finishes his morning stretches. Oikawa checks his phone and excitedly unlocks it when he sees it's several new messages in the group chat with his old teammates. Whatever is going on must be pretty juicy based on the way his phone won't quit buzzing.

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Kindaichi: Fuck you senpai

Kunimi: 👍

Yahaba: I hate you both so much

Watari has left the chat

Iwaizumi: whEJEK88?++7

Iwaizumi: WHO

Iwaizumi: WHERE ARE YOU I AM ON MY WAY

Iwaizumi: xms9))!kaq*

Iwaizumi: sorry...fucking Miya saw that over my shoulder and stole my phone

Iwaizumi: you can't just send me shit like that while I'm at work

Iwaizumi: now the whole JNT wants to fuck your girl

Kyoutani: Sendai Frogs too

Oikawa chuckles at the picture attachment of the trio of blonds - a selfie shot with just the top of Mad Dog's head, Tsukishima frowning in the background with red cheeks, and Koganegawa caught with his mouth hanging open.

He curiously scrolls up the thread of messages and nearly drops his phone when he sees what's caused all the commotion - a shot of you, naked and shimmering with sweat, being held down on Mattsun's lap, his large hand around your throat while presumably Makki's fingers squeeze at your cheeks, keeping your pretty mouth open and tongue pressed forward to show off the load of cum that overflows in lewd strings mixed with your saliva.

Fuuuuck. Blood instantly floods to his cock beneath his shorts. Tooru lets out a strained groan, the arousal almost painful as he taps the image to enlarge and focuses in on the glassy look in your eyes. He imagines what it'd be like to be there, to hear you undoubtedly whining and to tell you how pretty you look all fucked out at his friends doing, maybe even smear his cockhead against your messy tongue if they're willing to share.

Phone in one hand, he reaches to adjust the hardness in his shorts, unable to resist running his palm up and down the length over the fabric. You certainly must be a needy little thing to handle both Makki and Mattsun, and perhaps another if they'd ever be so generous.

His hand moves faster, breath quickening, and eyes fluttering when he suddenly loses grip on his phone. He fumbles with it a few times, able to catch it before it lands on the floor, but everything in his body goes ice cold when he checks the screen and realizes his dire fuck up. Somewhere in trying to catch his phone, he accidentally snapped a photo of him gripping his dick print and sent it to the chat.

Iwaizumi: vote to kick shittykawa out of the chat say aye

Meanwhile back home on the other side of the world, Makki nudges your dozing form in Mattsun's arms to get your attention. You peak open your bleary eyes to see your strawberry-haired lover holding his phone to you.

"See, princess? Look how stupid you have these men. That's our pretty girl for you," he coos pridefully and places a quick kiss to your forehead, making you smile as you nuzzle into his shoulder. Mattsun hums in agreement from behind you and gives the back of your neck an affectionate little peck.

"Thank you," you murmur softly, grateful for these two to always make you feel loved and desired.

MINORS & BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT LIKE, COMMENT, OR REBLOG THIS POST AND ABSOLUTELY DO NOT FOLLOW OR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

[ka-writes]

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Notes: I am posting every week now.. :/ <3 also sorry it’s shorter than usual, I did it within a day instead of a full week.

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Incase you missed:

Chapter 1:

Chapter 8:

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Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

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Ao3 link:

Other fic:

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Warning: cussing, lots of pain, panic attack, mentions of blood.

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Chapter 9: Lost.

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What the fuck just happened?!

That was the only question racing through Tommy’s mind.

One moment he was finally drifting into a peaceful sleep, the next one of the crew members was getting him and Tubbo up and ushered them out of the ship. Now they were on an unknown planet attempting to gain any energy possible.

Once he finally blinked his tired eyes open, he looked at the surrounding terrain. They were in the middle of a field at night. Stars were the only thing lighting their patch of land. Soft flowers and grass flowed easily with the small chilly breeze. A forest was to their left, an ocean to their right. Both leaving conflicting peaceful aromas mixed with flowers and a crisp breeze. Behind them were huge cliffs blocking and hope of going that way. Leaving the only option to head to a town that lay ahead of them.

After he surveyed the environment he turned to his partner, who was currently sitting on the ground, presumably to read the land through the plants.

That was an interesting ability to find out. One night he found the droneling sitting next to a small plant, Dream had left, talking about what the others were doing. If Tubbo was connected to a plant his senses were tripled and he was even able to echolocate if other plants were connected to the one he was using. His eyesight was very poor in the dark leaving the crew to have to make night vision goggles, making him look even more like a bee. Sadly that was left on the ship along with the rest of their gear. All of which was Dream’s and only his.

“From what I am seeing there is a village ahead.” Tubbo gestured towards the plain in front of them.

“Affirmative.”

“We head there then. I will either have to crawl or hold on to you.”

“It would be better if I led you. You wouldn’t look as stupid then.” Tommy playfully responded, receiving a small sting from his counterpart’s nail. “I am just joking! You look stupid either way.” A hoofed foot kicked Tommy’s shin, and with that they headed towards the warm glow.

——————

“Dammit George!” Sapnap yelled into the pitiful night, which still felt like day in the busy port city.

“Language! And yes I am very mad at his actions too.” Bad added, which was unnecessary but only furthered the other’s rage.

The blazeling started fuming. His eyes turned into orange embers and smoke escaped out of his mouth, which only furthered as his fangs doubled in size revealing a glowing orange at the back of his throat.

The other shook his head and pulled the other into a tight hug. It was as if all pent up rage vanished, leaving only hurt and betrayal in his mind.

After a few hours of sitting at the end of the dock looking into the vastness of space, the pair got up and looked for new job opportunities, hoping to find at least one.

They wandered from place to place, before finally landing in a small bakery.

Even after four months of living a relatively normal life they felt lost within its seams.

Eventually Bad found a partner and became head manager of the small bakery, finally weaving himself into the domestic lifestyle.

As for Sapnap?

He was lost. Guilty, hurt, and cold to the world. He pondered on the thought of what he could’ve done differently so he wasn’t just discarded when his ex-best friend claimed to not need him.

His endless drifting led him to a casino. He met his fiancés who turned from fury to concern quickly after they noticed his disheveled appearance.

Only after the trio was reunited for three months did he let down his wall. It took two more months to confess to everything.

Surprisingly, they didn’t leave him to be lost again. They helped weave his story back into society, and he was found.

——————

“George…. Not Found.” A computer voice rang through the cabin for the twentieth time.

The captain pressed the code again, switching it mindlessly to another planet. His patience no longer there.

“George…. Not Found.” The captain’s hand punched the monitor, “ERROR” static filled the cabin and blood tainted the deathly clean smell.

He mindlessly walked through the halls and switched on a small illusion box and watched the ISF news for the hundredth time. Hoping that there was an update on the human’s whereabouts. And for the hundredth time no news was reported.

——————

They finally made it to the edge of the town. Slipping down a small alley they scanned the area.

Odd.. why weren’t the signs written in common? That was a law everywhere, it made it so much easier for people to understand the purpose of shops.

The lamps also seemed dated, and the buildings were a different kind of structure than what most towns used.

There were also strange illusions, they only moved within the confinement of the screen.

Tubbo turned to the human who stood shell shocked.

He turned his head to what his partner was staring at.

It was a human.

What the hell??

Tubbo started falling in on himself. His brain became a static escape. Tommy turned to the now panicking droneling.

The other human noticed the commotion.

They started walking towards the pair, which only led Tubbo into a more panicked mindset.

After a minute the world spun to a stop and he woke up in an unknown room, a human sitting beside him anxious beyond belief.

——————

They certainly weren’t expecting to find two teenage starlings panicking in an alleyway, on their nightly walk.

It started off wonderfully. The night was crisp and the colony was flourishing.

No one knew of the colony’s whereabouts and even few knew it existed.

Eret the monarch of the first non Earthian colony. It was full of refugees, most of which being humans, few having other heritage.

He usually took a patrol every night. Checking in on new colonists and shops. Reviewing stock supplies, and any suggestions from the colonists.

Most of the time nothing happened. But this time two starlings that have been circling the news for sometime wandered into an alley, luckily they were found by none other than the monarch of this land.

He was stressed to say the least. They were supposed to be under the care of two of the most well known ships on this side of the galaxy. Both of which had declared war on eachother.

On one end if he took them to the Dream Team ship, he would most likely be unscathed when it came to confrontation from the ISF. Yet they would know of the location of the colony and probably would attack him sooner or later.

On the other end, he would be handing off two starlings to the biggest pirates in the galaxy. Meaning they would have no obligation to keep the colony a secret if it benefited them.

She made the decision to talk to the two in the morning, when all of them are less lost when it comes to plans.

——————

The news struck all of the crew in the heart.

Two starlings were reported missing. Both said to be returned to the Dream Team ship.

None of them knew whether to be ecstatic or terrified.

Either one. The pair had figured out a way to escape, or two they were dead. Both are plausible when it comes to what Dream could’ve done.

Either way, tears streamed down all of their faces for the first time in months.

——————

There was one thing Tommy was sure of.

They were lost, within the vastness of space and had barely any hope to return Tubbo home.

Instead of taking the time to sleep, he voted to sit by the window and watch the town end nightly activities and start on morning routines.

He was tired, sure. But for the past six months he couldn’t find it in him to sleep. When he did it was dreamless and empty. Furious voices yelling at him for things he had done in both present and past. It was unbearably lonely and more often than not he got lost within the confines of his mind.

So instead he sat by a window, resting his head in his arms and staring at the people moving past shops and such. He matched stories with faces and entertained the idea that many of them had much worse lives than him. Or that they had better lives than he had ever known.

There was a pang in his chest, as he watched siblings walk through the streets carefree and happy.

His tears fell silently as he stared at the scenes.

He told many stories to himself that night.

He got no sleep.

And the galaxy’s pain crashed down on him.

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Chapter 9-End

Words: 1497

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Everyone be lost.

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Remember to go take care of yourself! Also likes are appreciated but reblogs are better!!

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Chapter 10:

[smhalltheurlsaretaken]

Tumblr ate that ask, lol.

Oooooooh boy, lemme tell you, I think about that AU all. the. time. As you said, canon isn’t very clear on what the Senate can and cannot do in regards to the Jedi. Legally? We don’t know Republic laws, that’s the problem.

 If Palpatine had been killed, then Mas Amedda would have probably been made acting Chancellor, if only for the duration of an investigation and new elections. Except that guy’s the worst, would never side with the Jedi in an investigation that would prove the Senate’s batshit levels of corruption, and it’s rather clear that he knew Palps was evil and just didn’t care. Obviously the non-Jedi GAR officers like Tarkin would help him out and try to turn the Republic into an openly authoritarian state anyway. The thing is, there are thousands upon thousands of way something like this could go in real life, much more in a fantasy universe. Maybe they would try to exile/disband the Jedi. Maybe even ‘nice’ Senators like Riyo Chuchi, Kin Robb, etc would vote in favor of it in the face of public opinion. Without the support of the Clones though, I don’t know how the Republic would enact it.

What I am pretty sure about is that Mace would take the fall for the whole Order if it was an option. They probably wouldn’t want him to, but he definitely is the kind of man who would step in front of a room full of corrupt politicians to tell them that yes, he killed their evil boss, because his mandate per their orders was to rid the Galaxy of monsters like Dooku, and yes, he did it by himself, and yes, he was aware of the consequences of his actions. 

Tbh the “what would have happened” question is always a difficult one. Anything, anything could have happened. As long as you manage for it to be possible in context, then it doesn’t even have be perfectly rational or logical. It shouldn’t be entirely rational or logical, because governments are insane and politics are crazy - and if you throw magic and the eternal struggle between good and evil into the mix then anything is fair game. 

For the sake of serotonin, my favorite AU is that the knowledge of Palpatine and Dooku’s alliance becomes public, people get so outraged that they just kinda forget about Mace, by some miracle of the Force (which is very tired of the Dark and would really like for good to triumph for once, thanks) real, impartial investigators are called upon and determine that wow, that Chancellor was a total dick, dark magic or no dark magic, and everything’s FINE and the Jedi recall everyone to the Temple and NAP for at least a WEEK before helping the Republic figure out what comes next, and the Clones stay with them and they’re all HAPPY. 

[nco05]

Ah yes: the Christmas episode that I watch in April instead of December cuz it’s only available now.

The triggers are not chronologically placed & neither are the events of the episode in the TP but I tried to put the events of the episode more chronologically.

Following things mentioned could be a trigger - don’t know the proper terminology for all of them: insomnia, potential tumour/cancer, abuse, attempted murder, murder in self defense, spontaneous nosebleeds, some gore (the airplane incident), benzocaine overdose & mention of exposure to smoke & fire that is a mix of Magnesium & Cobalt60.

I’ll be swearing in this so if it makes you uncomfortable, you’ll know I gave you a heads-up.

Pepperspray Duck Toy Lady embodies the Christmas Chaos very well. People like her are the main reason I shop for presents at least 2 to 4 weeks in advance;

It’s so insane that May basically says what Hen, Eddie & Buck tell eachoher in a different scene that no one is in a really Christmas-y mood. Can we blame them though? All 4 have been through hell in the last year;

Christopher & Denny on a playdate aw :). Also Buck is making the gingerbread house with them not cuz he’s there to supervise but he just wants to call dibs on the first bite once it’s finished ;);

Seems like Eddie & Hen are doing ever so slightly better? I hope they’re alright... Glad they can confide in eachother;

Like Buck, I also feel like there’s 1 more swing inbound. Idk what exactly or maybe it happened and I missed it?;

My jaw dropped when Michael walked through that glass window. I thought he was gonna stumble into oncoming traffic;

Michael’s been off for a couple of episodes but especially this one. It’s so heart breaking that the insomnia & other symptoms he’s experiencing are pointing to a potential tumour. I’m glad he can confide in Bobby however... They’ve become very close & I like it;

Speaking of mr. “Yes I will stand in the Magnesium/Cobalt60 smoke & near the fire, no Athena & Buck I am 100 percent okay stop worrying”, I’m glad that all he experienced was a spontaneous nose bleed. I’m gonna keep the optimism wrapped up a little since I feel like it’ll bite him in the ass anyway;

My jaw dropped... again at the airplane incident section of the episode. I was so sure that man was gonna be in pieces. I’m so glad that Golf Club dad’s golf clubs saved the day cuz holy shit I was not prepared for that much gore so early on in the episode;

Ah yes the toughest tie to break: Chinese or Burgers on the 24th of December? (Neither for me, I would’ve voted falafel);

You [Bobby] are one of the most important people in my life. I really hope Bobby now knows Buck loves him so much. This is probably the most openly vulnerable Buck’s been with Bobby too;

Ngl I forgot Chimney getting stabbed & Maddie comitting murder in self defense on Doug was also around the Holiday season in Season 2. Was Chimney Begins + the following episode in canon on the 24th, the 25th or a few days after Christmas?;

The fact that everything with Doug ends on Christmas is really beautiful. It’s the red line of Maddie’s story with Doug, it always went south on Christmas: whatever the hell happened at their house (pre-Maddie era, flashbacks) & Doug reappearing in Maddie’s life & stalking Chim (Season 2′s Christmas special). But the final Goodbye being closure is finally a moment where Christmas isn’t sad anymore;

I survived you, Doug. And I will never be sorry for that. SHE IS MOVING ON! MADDIE IS GOING TO LIVE HER LIFE TO THE FULLEST FOR HERSELF! HELPING PEOPLE AS AN OPERATOR! WITH A LOVELY, LOVING BROTHER & AN AWESOME, HANDSOME BOYFRIEND BY HER SIDE!;

I’m so glad they do the CPR explanation in several episodes of the show. It’s actually really useful to keep seeing what to do when someone suffers cardiac arrest. Speaking as someone who followed & passed First Aid twice. The boy saved his mom <3;

I had no idea Benzocaine was 1: an over-the-counter medicine & 2: an overdose of it could turn you into a fucking Smurf... And your blood look like fucking chocolate milk. So nasty looking too... The lady seemed relieved to not having to work on Christmas so I guess it’s alright?;

An entire trashcan of Benzocaine though? Is it that healthy to let her wait on that tooth canal removal until New Years if she used an entire trascan worth of Benzocaine?;

The fact that Buck & Athena orchestrated the entire 118 dinner party is incredible to me. They accomplish such great things together. They are the powerduo I crave! I really want more scenes of them together (totally not cuz they’re my favourite characters, pfff... who told you that?);

ABUELA RETURNS! I missed her :D;

KAREN & HEN FOSTER PARENTS STORYLINE? I am so excited! This is such a good progression of their storyline! It also feels incredibly natural that it progressed the way it did. They’re gonna be great fostermoms & Denny is gonna be a great foster brother!;

The look between Michael & Bobby before the picture... It looked like “I got you” & the other reassured “I got you too”. I placed my hand over my heart. It was such a beautiful moment, just for the two of them;

This felt like a midseason finale. Idk if it’s intentionally done. Just a lot of storylines got closure & a few got started (Michael’s diagnosis, Karen & Hen’s developing storyline, yes?). It’s just a little too coincidental to me...

[tenrose]

Doctor Who Tag Game

Tagged by: @sopheirion​ thank you!!!

Favourite Doctor: Ten, ten and always Ten. I just love David’s portrayal’s of the Doctor more than I can say. I love the good, and I love the bad. I love when he’s being an idiot, when he’s flirtatious as hell with Rose (omg the memories) like you two get a room, when he finally snaps, when he’s a dumb oblivious as fuck and you want to smack cause he’s being an asshole, I love when he’s heartbroken. The faces David pulls are the best thing in the world. Like his ‘I don’t want to go’ ARE YOU KIDDING ME DAVID??? And the whole Doomsday episode, his blank face against the wall omg I’m gonna cry right now. And when this bitch has the audacity to disappear before saying it aaaaahhhh. But also the way he talk quickly and absolute nonsense. His ‘er’. When he’s being silly as hell with Donna, those were the good times. When he’s angry yelling, but also when he’s cold angry in the end of The Family of Blood. When he realize things and make the ‘oh i’m so stupid thing’ but also when he’s realizing sad thing like with the end of Donna. Bitch when he cries under the rain like some edgy boy, I cry too. His smile when things are getting exciting, but also the smile going into his eyes that is just for Rose and only Rose Tyler The various face he makes with Donna, all  the non verbal communication. Also when Martha decides to leave and you can see that he’s (too late) proud of her, and after that when he sees her again he’s being honest with her..The way he pronounces certain words if that makes sense???? Also David’s whole acting in Midnight, that was insane on so many levels. And least but not last : his iconic hair. I don’t think I need to tell more. And aside from that, I love all his season’s arcs, all his companions are my top three favourites. And of course, my close second favourite is Nine, cause without Nine, Ten wouldn’t be the Doctor he was.

Favourite Master: tbh I’m not that much into the Master, but I guess it’s Simm!Master cause I love his arcs. But I also love Missy as a character (not sure about her arcs though)

Favourite Sonic: I love both Nine/Ten’s sonic and Eleven’s sonic. 

Favourite Companion: aaaaahhhh not this question lmao. So I can’t really choose between Rose and Donna. I just love them both too much. So I’m not even a hardcore shipper of anyything by tumblr’s standards at least lmao, but the Doctor and Rose (both Nine and Ten) as been the first fictional couple I deeply rooted for (like I’ve enjoyed a lot of other ships before but never as harder and deeply) and that I still root for after all these years (in fact Clexa is the only other one that goes that hard, but everything else is just phases, they come and they go but they never stay). I love the tragedy of them, bitch who am I kidding, I love it that much cause it’s a tragedy lmao. I just love how they both make each other better, but also how they flirt like dumbass teens, how they communicate, how they cry for each other. BUT, and it’s very important, I love Rose for herself. She’s not just interesting because of the Doctor. She’s so relatable for instance? Like she’s not from a wealthy family, she clearly doesn’t give two fuck about fashion (or was it 2005 who was like this?), she’s not too smart, too pretty (ok she’s definitely is for me), too much of anything, she’s average. And I love this a freaking lot you can’t imagine. She has flaws, and yes that’s exactly what we want in a character. Yes she has moments when she’s being selfish (but who doesn’t? especially when in love), and yet she has some of the most beautiful selfless moments,sacrificing herlself in Doomsday is the best cause she was literally gonna end up in the void but she didn’t hesitated for one second. Also when she’s showing empathy for other people, she’s being caring and understanding. And she doesn’t take anyone’s else bullshit, she call them out, and that include the Doctor first. Just because she loves him doesn’t mean it’s gonna stop her from telling him to stop being a punk ass bitch. Also she evolved so much between s2 and s4, and I don’t think it’s character inconsistency, it’s just that it happened off screen. BY THE WAY I WOULD VERY MUCH A SPIN OFF ABOUT ROSE TYLER HOPPING WORLDS THANK YOU VERY MUCH @BBC!!! 

Now Donna? Where do I start? She’s also average, and also very relatable. In fact, personnally I think she’s the most relatable for me. Using humour, snark and sass to hide 10 thousands insecurities? Yes that’s the most relatable thing ever. Donna is the funniest character but she’s also the one who has the saddest ending in my opinion. Cause she grow up, she sees the world, and she understand that she is THE shit, she matters, she is important, and then she forgets all about it. That’s so cruel, and heartbreaking and angering, cause she deserved everyfuckingthing, she deserved the world. And her departure hit me so fucking hard. She’s going back to her life, thinking she would be not enough, I can feel that so deeply. Aaaahhh I’m hurting myself writing this. But she’s so amazing, she’s smart, thinking out of the box really make her so great, and she’s the one who take the least shit about anything. She stands up, yells, makes a scene, but she get straight to the point. Also she’s not the young and conventionally attractive companion and she knows that. And she’s so funny and sassy, and close to the Doctor. I mean she’s the Doctor Donna for a reason, she’s like a human version of the Doctor, with the sass, the babbling, the clumsiness. God I love Donna so much, I wish I had so much more of her. Also she has absolutely zero romantic feelings for the Doctor and the fact that they are the bitchy bffs of the universe is the best. 

Favourite Story: I love a lot of stories, but my favourite is The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End no doubt. The story is a perfect mix of happiness, having every RTD’s characters together, all my fave working together is the absolute best, and of sadness, the departure of Donna (I won’t re talk about it ok) and Ten letting Rose go AGAIN. And the fact that there’s everyone he loves in these episode but then he ends up all on his own. God why do I love being hurt so much??? And the Daleks are also my favourite villains (it’s just such DW bullshit as a villain tbh lmfao) so I have everything I want. Generally speaking I love RTD’s arcs, cause the sign are here the whole seasons (Bad Wolf, vote Saxon, the bees disappearing and she’s coming back) but it’s not a ‘HEY LOOK THERE’S SOMETHING FISHY TO SEE HERE HEYYYY’ or ‘WE ARE STARTING THE SEASON WITH ONE QUESTION, ONE PLOT POINT AND THAT’S WHAT YOU’LL WANT TO BE RESOLVED BY THE END OF THE SEASON’,  it’s subtle, it’s casual mention, and it’s when you’re in the last three episode that you’re starting to realize something is wrong...That’s one of my favourite type of writing ever (that’s probably why I love Sanderson’s books too). It’s not some mystery to solve, cause there weren’t any mystery to solve, because me, a dumbass viewer, weren’t even paying attention at first. But it’s here, it fills the plot. And when you see it you’re like ‘of course’. It’s not forced on me if I can say it like this. It allows me to see other stuffs. It’s not attention seeking I guess? But yes the end of s4 is my favourite story, all is in place. All characters do what they do best. There’s laugh and there’s tears, and I love it.

Favourite Soundtrack: everything Murray Gold has been doing for the show is pure gold and I think that’s a thing the whole fandom can agree upon. My artist of the decade according to Spotify is him, and considering I haven’t listened daily to his songs (except for some still regularly) I think that say a lot about how much I used to love both his music and the show at some point. My favourite of his are Doomsday’s Theme ofc, Love Across the Distant Stars, I am the Doctor, Rose’s Theme, Amy’s Theme, Clara’s Theme, Vale and cry. All of them. And that include the one soundtracks for episodes I don’t even like lmao.  

Dream Actor for next Doctor: I don’t know, why not John Boyega? He deserves to be the main character and be treated well, of a sci-fi show. 

Dream Composer: Murray Gold come back to me. Or I would love a glimpse of what Lorne Balfe could do.

Dream Story: Something that involves seeing Rose and Tentoo, and Martha as the Earth counselor, with Thirteen still having feelings for Rose. And Rose too.  But the plot? Idk lmao. However the end would be sad cause Thirteen would have to see Rose and Tentoo coming back to their world, and I would cry. Also Thirteen would aknowledge Martha as the smarter companion the Doctor had ever had lmao.

A Companion You’d like to see back:  Martha, but like not as a companion cause she made it clear that she would not come back, and that wouldn’t be fitting her character if she changed her mind. But she could always be accidentally stuck in the TARDIS, I mean it happened once. But really I would just love to have her coming to the rescue when shit on Earth goes too far and the Doctor needs help of a specialist. That’s Martha you need Doctor.

An Enemy/Alien/Creature you’d like to see again: I’m always here to see the daleks. 

If you could travel with one of the Doctors, which Doctor and why?: Ten? Because he’s my fave, but also Thirteen because I’m gay and I would like to take my chance lmao

[writerrachelspangler]

Safety Gay

So I had a bit of a tift last weekend with some family members that really triggered a nasty bout of depression again.  TL:DR version, I expressed some concern about my gender presentation in a place where I would be surrounded by a mix of family and strangers.  Some of my older family members got offended that I should even vocalize such a thing, and why do I have to make everything so gay? Why can’t I just let go and be happy? This is me ever since.

The struggle is real as I try to figure out why this whole thing upset me so much, because it has really upset me on a pretty major level.  At first it just felt like an insane dose of cis/het privilege for people to be mad at me for being scared, but honestly I’m pretty used to them finding me silly and dramatic. And I get that me getting real upsets their worldview. I have been the worldview upsetter for a long time. Like how dare I make them think about how they just take their safety for granted when I can not.

This time though, I think what hurt more was the idea that my reality is a burden to them. That even in a moment where I am actively trying to figure out how not to offend people with my vast queerness, they are offended at being confronted with the ways in which I have to work not to offend.

Why can’t I just be gay without taking about the realities of being gay?  Like can’t I just be queer without making them realize that presenting as queer still carries inherent risks in our current political climate? Can’t I just put on a tie without making them think about the ways that me wearing a tie might be dangerous for me? Why can’t I just be a happy non political gay like on the TV or an entertaining gay like at the drag shows that never make them feel guilty when they eat at Chic-Fil-a or vote for a guy who actively hurts my family? Why can’t I be the safety queer, that lets them feel good about how supportive they are of the gays without them having to face any of reasons why queers still need supporting. 

After a lot of thinking and laying awake I’ve come to suspect the thing that originally upset them is the same realization that has hurt my feeling so damn bad: we were both forced to face the fact that that kind of support is shallow. It’s real, but it's worthless. 

Thankfully, my wife has been awesome.  She’s fierce AF when it come to protecting me. She went full on Anne Lister like...

So, like I know I’m not alone, and a couple cousins reached out to be great allies, but despite those people’s constant reminders that saying “fuck em all” is a valid option I am still having these moments where my hands shake. And even that hurts, because I am pretty sure no one else is sitting around with their stomach in knots. Everybody else has moved on, and once again I’m the big drama queer who can’t just let shit go.  And the thing is, I don’t love being that person any more than they love being confronted with that person.

I keep trying to give myself these little pep talks to be more Lister like.  I’m using all the phrases, like “rise above it”, and “have a little courage,” but at the end of the day no one plays the jaunty music while I walk away.  And as much as I want to be able to face every new encounter like this:

Some days, I am actually I’m stumbling through the world like this:

They are both me. They are both valid versions of my reality. I get that you don’t like being faced with that, but the fact that one version makes you super uncomfortable says more about you than it does me. And I’m done trying to appease anyone about that. I’m tired of hiding, and sanitizing, and making accommodations for your discomfort. The fact of the matter is, that if you’re proud to support the gay in exhibit A, but not the gay in exhibit B, then you’re really not that supportive of the gays. 

[cyberwavelit]

Gamer's Debt (Short Story)

"Crap, all I wanted was the gold chest so I can buy some extra lives. If I don't get any more extra lives, I'll lose all my gold when I die. How am I supposed to win if I have to pay for every damn thing?" Joden stepped down the ramp of his Blourgan cruiser and surveyed the alien landscape. It was barren except for the remains of a small village that he had just annihilated with a two-ton necro-missile.

"That's life. People are generally selfish, impatient, and insecure. Game companies use these weaknesses to motivate players. Maybe you shouldn't have blown up the village, is all I'm saying." The pilot of the cruiser, Jershamalama, spoke through his comm.

"But how does anyone get the hell out of this game if they can never win? I've been stuck in this hell hole for thirty days! My body’s back in the real world, rotting away.”

"Hey, you wanted to play, didn't you? Maybe if we travel to a non-npc sector we can trade off some of this junk we get every time we kill an enemy.” His pilot stared at him from the cockpit.

Joden looked back, “I feel like a slave. That garbage is only worth a pinto cent. It’ll take decades to get to the end game. And besides, that's if we can take off with all that junk. It'll take us a few hours to get back into the atmosphere. It's like a Fetch-22."

"You mean a fetch quest?"

"Yeah, something like that." said Joden taking out his cent-o-meter. It consumed his health bar as it scanned the surrounding sector. His eyes darted around his visor interface, looking at all the blips and bubbles that pinged. “I wish I could afford the Super Hyper Gold Jetpack that all the booster players use.”

“They only release that on the first Wednesday of every other month with a sign-on fee, an option to buy stocks in EternaEntertinament, a monthly fee, a mental evaluation, and maintenance fees when your able to grab it from one of the random places it spawns, like the Hell planet Infernum or the planet Madness Descent. Plus, I hear they only give you like a 3 second jump.”

“What?!” He nearly tripped over a crumpled alien body. “You can’t be serious. My mom’s going to kill me. I told her I was going to school. I figured I could just sign up for a few games, try my hand at Galactic Teamslayer, and be back at the rent-a-plex by nine. That was a month ago!”

“Relax. They won’t even notice you’re gone. Most parents have been sucked into this new thing called Binge Child Raising. EternaEntertinament created it too. It’s a simulation where adults can raise children and not have them become reclusive, angst-ridden failures. They’re really gouging everyone for money, real and fake, young and old.”

Joden was too focused on the horizon where a few blips were going off. They were purple, which meant that they were low-value targets. Everything seemed to be purple. “I never asked--how long you been here?”

“You shoulda seen it when it was it first came out. The servers would never load and you had to sit there, in the darkness, watching a timer run out as they patched their simulation. It was like holding your breath under water.” The pilot sucked his teeth. “Hang on a sec. Have to rate the game again—after this ad.”

“Yeah, I hate doing this every hour.” The astronaut picked up a child’s toy from the clutched hand of a sloblarian. “Wonder what this is worth. I heard that we used to play with things like this, not just video games where you pay to win. Up, hang on a sec, got an ad playing.”

Joden’s reality changed. He was sitting on a park bench. A duck came up to him, honking and pulling at his pants. The countdown to the end of the ad appeared in his peripheral. It quaked and quaked until Joden threw down a few coins to skip it.

Back in game world he was still holding the toy. He threw it down with distain and a lack of remembrance for such physical trifles.

He was then asked to rate the game. He voted as he always had, giving it a one-star out of three. There was a chime and a message: “We’re sorry you’re not enjoying your time in our game world. Perhaps if you were more openminded and understanding of the fact that you may not always get what you want, you might have a better experience with our merchandise. Please lower your expectations. Thank you.”

Joden coughed to drown out the message he had heard a hundred times. “I’m so tired of game companies stealing from us. Don’t they realize that it’ll only make the game suffer?”

“Yeah,” responded the pilot, “let’s go steal something.”

“I’m so tired, Jersh. I just want to go somewhere where we can kill an alien race and grind their bones into dust. What’s so wrong with that?”

“If you only knew, kid. On its launch the game world wasn’t even finished. Eterna used the gamers to construct most of the planets using the build-and-play incentive. Those gamers signed a contract that said that they had to make at least four hundred ‘products’ before they could actually the game. They called it the ‘fix-it-later’ release. The products they were referring to was one galaxy. Those designer gamers are probably still waiting…”

“Four hund--?” Joden held up his fist to the pilot, who had been watching from the ship’s windshield. “That’s extortion!”

“Welcome to the world. They get away with it because it’s a game world. You can do anything in the game world like gambling, murder, blackmail, forced labor, and forced sodomy. Nothing’s real so nothing matters.”

The astronaut had disembarked about five hundred meters from the ship. Steam bellowed from its worn exhaust. “Why did you call me kid? How old are you? I mean I know you have the same avatar as me…”

“Age doesn’t matter either. Yeah, I couldn’t afford the customizations either.” Jersh tapped his helmet. “So, I guess we both have the same face.”

“And same weapons, gear, armor, boots, ships, weapon skins, and abilities.” He noticed a large oval blob on his visor’s HUD. It was moving closer behind a small series of stone pillars.

“Oh no, I have the blue-skinned Rigormortis rifle. It’s got this badass blue stripe on the side. Cost me 20,000 gold, 200 platinum, and 4 of my lifesaving’s accounts. If I didn’t have this stripe, I’d probably go insane or worse, color blind.”

“Shut up, dude. Something’s coming. I think it’s a surviving sloblarian. I hear they get angro really quick. I don’t want to die here, man. I never bought a 600-gold resurrection pack. It’ll take sixty days to load back in…”

Jersh responded, sounding distracted, “You’re fine. Just cap it in the head or something.”

The purple blob was twenty meters away. If it wanted to attack it would have to come out into the open and charge him. He could tell there was movement but it was more restless than threatening. Joden took out his rifle and fired at the rock tower. The gun exploded in his hands, sending his obliterated fingers in multiple directions.

“Ah damnit! I forgot about the maintenance fee!”

The figure bounded from the pillar and slunk slowly towards the enemy astronaut. It skulked across the yellow, Phallusian sand with its omni-dexterous flippers. Arriving to the hunched-over human its tugged at his spacesuit and motioned for him to come closer.

“Gross dude, it wants to talk to me. What should I do?” The rounded head bobbed up and down like a rubbery ball. It seemed to be injured or at least miserable.

Joden heard distinct crunching noises emanating from the pilot’s mouth. “IDK. Step on it I guess.”

The polymorphous blob at his feet opened its crevice-like mouth and appeared to gasp for air. But it wasn’t gasping. It was whispering. He leaned down and listened.

“Dunk…prrray…Donk pppreeeey.” It was saying, and gargled as its lips flapped. “Doooonnk plllaaaaay. Chooose nut to pprraaaaay. Fyind sumting essl to do wilth yourg tyhme.”

“Oh, hell no!” shouted the man, as he squashed the creature’s face with his boot. It was like stepping on a water balloon filled with pebbles. He looked at where his hands used to be and screamed into the sky. “What does it all mean? Why do I always have to be punished! I’ve been in the same place for too long!”

"It's not good to live in a dream.” More crunching came from the ship. “You sometimes forget what life is like."

Virtual blood splashed onto the dry dirt from his nubs. A few splatters mixed with the alien’s internal fluids. The reflective pool at his feet showed his avatar’s face, the same face of his pilots. He searched rapidly for any signs of wealth or material possession. There was nothing but ooze and viscera. Tattered cloth around the dead alien’s head was smushed and torn.  

He turned toward the ship with a look of bewilderment. “How many gamers are trapped here? We can’t be the only ones. This game isn’t anything like what they advertised. They lied to us! Who would want to be stuck in this perpetual nightmare of pay-to-play, pay-to-build, pay-to-live, pay-to-pay mechanics?”

“I don’t think you get it.” The pilot was still eating. “Companies do this to consumers because consumers let them. The general belief is that consumers are very smart but when’s the last time you heard someone say: ‘I won’t buy that because it goes against my code of ethics?’ None, no one’s ever said that. People like spending money. It’s in our blood. Its our nature to trust rich people. They seem to have all the right answers even when they don’t. They make the truths that we all follow. Besides, how could they get all that money if they had bad intentions.”

Joden used his character’s remaining strength to rush back towards the Blourgan cruiser. He felt a draft of air coming in the direction of the ship, and heard the engine roaring to life. “What the hell are you doing?”

The mercenary vessel hovered three feet off the ground and its nose pointed at the runner. Its pilot could be seen through the windshield, “Sorry newb, you’re becoming to be a real downer.”

“I thought you were my friend!” he whimpered, his nubs heaving back and forth.

The ship elevated to ten feet. “None of us are really friends. We’re all just trying to make a living. And I need one more kill for the Slayer Award. We’re all just numbers.”

As he came to the plateau where he had disembarked, he held up his invisible hands to shield his face. “I just want to go home! I just want to go home.”

A cybersonic laser beam burst from the cruiser’s forward cannons. He felt the hot bathing light of the beam and then felt nothing at all.

“I can’t get out…I can’t…” He awoke in darkness. A screen appeared that read the same message he received hundreds of times, “You have died. Looks like you have low gear and feeble weapons. Would you like to buy a booster pack?”

“No.” he responded.

“A looter box?”

“No!”

He said the same words over and over before. The message continued, “You have elected to refuse game-provided assistance. This is a poor decision. In order to continue gameplay without using game-provided assistance please insert thirty-seven-point-one resurrection tokens.”

He wanted to cry but said, “I don’t have any.”

The automated voice paused and spoke again after popping up a sixty-page form. “Well that sucks. In order to continue please complete the loan agreement in front of you. The loan is for $6,000. Sign here, here, and here.”

Joden lowered his shoulders and looked at his current debt. It read: “-387,000.” He breathed out, collapsing his chest, and grew red-faced. “No!” he shouted.  

There was another pause and the form disappeared. For several moments there was darkness and silence. “Very well.” The automated voice returned. “You have chosen reincarnation. Goodbye.”

“No!” he screamed defiantly. “No!”

Then, all of a sudden, he felt strange. He looked out through oddly-colored eyes. His hands had returned but they had three fingers instead of five. When he tried to speak, he could only gasp through what felt like a straw. The sand that he walked on grew hardened in his webbed feet. An alien girl danced toward him, carrying a toy. She hugged him with pencil-thin arms and turned towards the sky. Tattered robes fell along his arm and he patted the girl’s head. He looked up, to where the girl was gazing and saw a massive fireball break through the atmosphere. A necro-missile came out of the fiery plume, heading straight for their small, stony village. 

[letsperaltiago]

bet you wish you could touch our rush (Jake x Amy)

Okay, so nr. 6 (Cop-Con prompt) was the first one to get the most votes, but I’ll try to do the other requests as well! Just have some patience and I’ll get to it eventually! Also I’d thank you all for letting me know you preferences. It was awesome to have so many engage! 

Anyways: Here goes Cop-Con feat. drunk horny Peraltiago! PS I’m sorryyyyy if this sucks. I love an overprotective Jake but also know that realistically he trusts Amy too much to be a jerk about it soooo I tried a middle thing. Also I love for a drunk, stupid happy giggly horny couple. 

Please let me know what you think! 

Word count: 1.8k

Music was blasting from various speakers and drenched the room in a messy cocktail made of incoherent songs - everything from bubbly pop to the heaviest metal - and drunk voices, laughs and slurs. The detectives and officers from the Chicago PD had also had the genius idea to bring coloured lights and even a damn disco ball. This was no longer a boring hotel in Rochester; the entire floor was one big, secret secret party and it ruled.

Jake’s gaze scanned the crowded room holding one beer in hand whilst at least two were already safely stored in his stomach. The buzz had kicked in some time ago but nonetheless he immediately recognised a loud laugh causing him to turn around to see the one and only (and drunk) Amy Santiago perched on a dinner table turned bar. Surrounding her were three men and Jake immediately hoped it was with her and not at her, when they broke into laughter. Amy was a grown woman; the most grown human he knew. He knew she could take care of herself, but Jake also couldn’t help but keep an eye on the four of them - especially now that she’d had God knows how many drinks. Leaving them behind with the benefit of the doubt since he figured that there was no reason to worry, Jake downed the rest of his bear and stumbled off to find Rosa and Charles. If he was lucky they’d still be doing the Taser challenge.

“Wazzup, losers,” he just barely yelled upon finally finding what he’d been looking far: Rosa, Charles, a blonde NYPD beat cop he’d seen around the precinct before and some random guy from who knows where. “Still tasering?”

“Yup,” Rosa responded briefly as always before downing a shot of what appeared to be pure tequila.

“Awesome. I’m in!”

“Great. Got a drink?” Apparently one shot hadn’t been enough and Rosa poured herself another one.

“Uh,” Jake shook his bottle instantly realising that he’d emptied it whilst looking at Amy. “Gimme a minute and I’ll be back with one!” His feet immediately stumbled back to the bar table in the room next door, nonchalantly standing besides a still giggly Amy as he poured himself a cup of whatever alcoholic liquid his hand reached first. She hadn’t noticed and he hadn’t either - until one of the three men’s voice caught his attention.

“Okay, doll… “

Jake’s face immediately twisted into a frown at the disgustingly demeaning condescending though nonetheless he kept pouring. He was not about to meddle and cause a scene like a dick. Though he did pour very slowly, dragging out the amount of time he’d have to stick around and eavesdrop.

“Enough giggling and joking around. Which of the three of us are you going to join in our hotel room?”

Jake Peralta didn’t do jealous, but he did feel anger rising within him as he saw the three men smirk greedily as Amy, obviously more than just tipsy, was a bit taken back and let out a mix between a scoff and a chuckle. “Seriously?”

“Of course. This talking thing can only last so long,” another of the three men added before taking a sip of his beer. Out of the corner of his eye Jake could see his girlfriend, drunk but still her slightly socially awkward self, walking the line between drunk and sober in an attempt to come up with a good answer. A nervous hand running through her black curls sent Jake the signal he’d somewhat waited for; enough was enough.

“Let me in on this, gentlemen?” Jake interrupted the little circle they’d formed around a still sitting Amy. “Consider me an option, doll,” he sent his girlfriend a cocky wink before taking a sip of his drink. He couldn’t help but feel bare for not intervening earlier when he saw her shoulders and eyes drop in relief.

The one who’d started this whole ordeal quickly shot him an unsure elevator look. “Ehm sure, man. But I don’t-“

“You,” Amy smirked widely as she stretched out her arm to point at her boyfriend as to show he was the chosen one. “Show me your hotel room. Pleferlably the inside of it. Splecifically the bed.”

Her horribly mispronounced words were punctuated by her teeth biting into her bottom lip, and if Jake hadn’t felt mildly disgusted with himself for choosing such a disgusting character to help out his girlfriend, he would’ve been so so turned on.

The three men, hell even Jake was taken back by his girlfriend’s boldness, but it immediately made much more sense upon noticing how her eyes had transitioned to a darker shade of brown and how she was holding yet another drink in her hand. 4-drink Amy.

“Oh, I’ll show you more than just the bed,” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before grabbing her hand and pulling her off the table as the three predators walked away with glum expressions. Feeling the need to make sure she was entirely okay, Jake never let go of her hand as he dragged her out into the hallway where the walls between them and the music would allow them to talk.

“I’m sorry about that, Ames. You okay?” He was definitely not sober, but never not sober enough to feel highly alert whenever someone he cared about was in trouble. He wanted to do this right.

Though apparently Amy had other plans in mind. Before he had time to put down his beer, wanting to hold and physically comfort her, she had him pressed up against the wall behind them. Lips that tasted like wine and poison immediately followed behind and pressed themselves against his. His head started spinning when he felt the fake soberness, which he’d forced upon himself to help her, quickly fade away. No way in hell he was sober; he was drunk as hell and so was she. More importantly her body and lips were attached to his and no one else. Instinctively his hand dropped his drink on the hotel carpet, which honestly didn’t matter ‘cause it was super gross since he’d paid more attention to her than the (what seemed to be) vodka and tequila ratio. No matter what it was it had smelled like it was about to knock the life out of every living braincell within him.

“‘ank you for saving me,” she gasped between crashing lips occasionally switching back a forth between his lips and his chin. As if she wasn’t utterly horny and needy for him already, Jake digging his hands beneath her floral shirt to caress her skin had her going insane. God, her skin was always so damn soft.

“Zhey shouldn’t-“ he swallowed a kiss, “have said that to you. I don’t want stupid boys to want you like that. Only super nize boys.” Wild hands ran through his messed up curls, occasionally getting caught up in them and tugging. Her chest was heaving and pressed up against his like for dear life. The sound of her breathing through her nose like a wild starving animal was insane. Anything she did drove him insane.

“You’re a nize boy,” she momentarily slipped away from his lips to whisper into his ear followed by  her teeth lazily tugging on the soft lobe. Jake felt himself fall apart. ”Take me to your wroom.”

“Therz a party in our rome, babe,” he felt himself struggle to keep up with both the English language and the kissing as he tried to paint the picture of their situation for her.

“I don’t care,” she’d managed to fumble the upper part of his shirt open, her hot breath and soft lips against his sternum making him shiver. “I’m sure therz no one in the bed. Or the closet. Either is frine.”

“Oh God,” Jake looked up towards the ceiling in pure desperation which caused the back of his head to bump into the wall. “Ames, you’re deathing me.”

“Please,” she separated from his chest only to grab his chin and pull it downards to look right into her almost black eyes. “I need you. Now. Wherever.”

If Jake wasn’t already turned on and probably also stone hard then he definitely was now. His girlfriend - his smart, beautiful, perfect girlfriend - was basically begging on her knees. Yet there was no way he’d allow them, no matter how drunk, to have sex directly in front of other people. They’d tried a fair share of things, but there was a limit to everything - even kinky sex. “We can’t in front of like… people.”

Amy didn’t even try to hide her disappointment at this. “But like… We’re peoples. You’re peoples and I’m peoples and we're always there whenever we boink.” Her whine somehow reminded him of a kid’s which amused him until he realised there was nothing funny about them not being able to have sex.

“Baby, that’s different.” He leaned down to continue his drunk slurring against her lips. “We’re not like other peoples. We can boink with each other in the room.”

“Can’t they just leave uz alone then? Go away,” this time it was her turn to slur against his lips as her hands slowly snaked their way beneath the bottom of his shirt and onto his bare skin.

Jake, speechless and suddenly realising how hopeless they both were, cupped her face in his hands and started laughing with his lips still pressed to hers. Everything; the whole day and evening; the alcohol; his love for her… It came crashing down on him all at once.

“Babe, we so drunk,” he smiled into the kiss, squeezing her waist as he did a 180 and pushed her against the wall he himself had just been caught against. He didn’t have to look to know that she was smiling too while running the palms of her hands up and down his lower back.

“I know,” she chuckled. “What are we going to do?” She somehow deepened the kiss.”I wunna boink…”

“Uhummm…” he couldn’t even make out proper words anymore. Amy Santiago had him at the gates of heaven and he needed to find a damn key. Fast.

Then an idea hit him like lightning meaning that he to both of their dismay pulled back. “Store room!”

His idea was immediately met by a frown. “What store? There’s no store here.”

“Storing room!” He tried again, slowly feeling the right expression sneaking up on him. He would probably get it right sooner or later, but didn’t have to wait much longer. Amy, as most of the time anyways, beat him to it.

“Room for storage! Storage room!”

“Yes!” He exclaimed like a kid getting what he wanted the most for Christmas. There was the urge to kiss her again and so he did. “You’re so smort, baby.” He cooed suddenly feeling her hands pushing onto his chest and off of her. Apart from her hazy, drunk eyes she looked stern and determined as ever.

“Shut up, Pearralta. We have a storable closet to find.”

[astronomyparkers]

The Princes and The Pauper {II}

Warnings: None

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader x Harrison Osterfield

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: I feel like I’m always saying this, but I’m so sorry this update took so long!!  I really do have a hectic schedule and I don’t get much time to write, and when I do have time, I’m never motivated?? I’m the worst tbh. Also, before we move on to the story, I just wanted to do a bit of housekeeping. I DO NOT HAVE A TAGS LIST!!!!!!!!! Please stop sending me messages asking to be added, as I will not respond!!  The reason why is in my FAQ (which I ask people to check before sending an ask but...no one ever does?) and I hate that I’m probably coming off rude right now, but I try to respond to everyone, and I have to sort through so many messages asking about things I’ve already taken the time to address.  I appreciate you all like my story so much, but I am Very Tired. Please. I beg you. Don’t do it. Now that that’s out of the way...I hope you enjoy! also side note: I can’t find any good gifs of Tom and Harrison looking fancy together.  I have a couple pics??? But I like to use gifs for the beginning of my posts :(

{masterlist}

“His pen was monogrammed?  Seriously?” Jade snorted before she took a bite of her croissant. “Where do you even buy a monogrammed pen?”

“A pen store?” Penelope suggested, licking some icing from her donut off her finger. “They have those, right?”

“But why would you need a monogrammed pen?  Seems like it’s kind of niche market, don’t you think?”

“I don’t know…it gets the message across.”

“What message?”

“The ‘I’m a pretentious douche who could buy out your entire life in an instant’ message.”

“Guys.” You rolled your eyes. “Can we drop it with the monogrammed pen thing?  Was that really all you took away from my story?”

“It’s distracting!” Jade insisted. “Like, under what circumstance would you need your pen to be monogrammed?  Where in the world is—is pen thievery so bad that you need a pen that is embossed with your name?”

“I told you,” Penelope cut in as you opened your mouth. “It’s for him to sign his important rich guy name on important rich guy documents for his important rich guy company, in the most pretentious way possible.”

“You know what?” You finished your danish and crumpled up the wrapper before throwing it in the trash. “That’s it.  This conversation is over.  We’re done discussing this.”

“Okay, okay, we’re sorry.” Jade laughed, laying her head on your shoulder affectionately. “Please continue to tell us about Rich and Richer.”

“Their names are Tom and Harrison, and you know that.” You shook your head. “And that’s pretty much the end of the story, anyways.  I haven’t seen them or heard from them since the gala.”

“But that was three days ago!” Penelope frowned. “They haven’t called?  Don’t they know we only have three more weeks in New York?”

“I didn’t exactly have time to give them the full itinerary of our trip when I was running from security, Penelope.” You turned the corner and glanced up at the different skyscrapers around you, wondering if one of them was the office they had mentioned they had.

“I know, but still…” Penelope shrugged. “It sounds like they were pretty into you.  I thought they would’ve called by now, to find out why you ran at the very least.”

 And the truth was, so had you.  By the time the three of you had made it back to your AirBnB rental, you were a little saddened to see that there was no text from a new number.  And when you woke up the next day, with no new messages to display, you were surprised.  Even if Tom and Harrison weren’t as interested in you as you thought they were, didn’t they at least want to know why three security guards chased you through the MET?  Even with the circles they ran in, you didn’t think that a girl running away from guards in heels would be a common occurrence.  Didn’t they want to know the full story?

“It doesn’t matter.” You shook your head and sighed. “They’re not calling, and I refuse to spend my time in New York waiting for that call to not come.  So let’s just…drop it.  Okay?”

“Okay.” Jade and Penelope both nodded.

You pushed Tom and Harrison to the back of your mind as you continued walking down the New York street.  Despite wondering why they never called, you really did want to put the whole thing behind you.  You only had so much time in New York, and you were determined to make the most of it. So what if two incredibly attractive socialites spent a whole evening flirting with you and then never called? That had never been in the New York plan anyways, and it didn’t belong there now.  You didn’t need a phone call or text from Tom or Harrison.  You didn’t.

 You did such a good job convincing yourself of that, that when your phone rang that night and displayed an unknown number with a New York area code on the screen, you didn’t even think that it could be them.

Penelope, Jade, and you were bustling around the kitchen, trying to decide what to do for the night as you made dinner.  Jade wanted to go out to a club, while Penelope wanted to visit Times Square again, and you were the deciding vote.  While the three of you cooking in a confined space together usually resulted in a mess, the kitchen was practically a war zone as your friends both argued their sides.

“C’mon, Y/N,” Jade pleaded as she grabbed cheese from the fridge. “We’ve already gone to Times Square, but we haven’t gone to this club yet!”

“The last time you dragged us to an event, we almost got arrested.” Penelope rolled her eyes before resuming whisking the sauce beginning to bubble on the stove. “And besides, we went to Times Square during the day!  Night time is completely different!”

“What do you mean, ‘completely different’?” Jade made air quotes with a kitchen knife still in her hand. “Lots of people, giant billboards, knock off superheroes to take pictures with…you’ve gone to Times Square once, you’ve gone a million times!”

“That’s not true! Y/N, tell her!”

“Y/N is on my side! Right?”

“Oh my God, can you guys be quiet for one minute?” You asked, rubbing your temples gently, ignoring the flour you got on your face as you did so. “I swear, you’re driving me insane.”

“Just tell us which one you pick so we can go!”

“God.  Fine.” You sighed deeply as you continued to mix ingredients together. “I choose—”

Your phone interrupted your sentence, ringing loudly from the kitchen counter.  

“Jade, can you grab that?  I’m a little busy.”

“It’s not a number from your contacts…917…?” Jade frowned in confusion. “Whose number is this?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged, blowing a stray strand of hair from your face. “Answer it and find out.”

Jade did as you asked, turning on the speaker phone option and setting it back down on the counter before beginning to grate cheese.

“Hello?” You said loudly, as Jade and Penelope had resumed bickering quietly in the background.

“Hello,” A British voice played through your phone’s speaker. “Sorry, is this Y/N?  Y/N Y/L/N?”

“Speaking.” You responded absentmindedly, dusting flour off your hands.

“Hey, Y/N.  This is Harrison Osterfield.  From the MET.”

For a split second, you, Jade, and Penelope all froze, just staring at each other in shock. Then you all dove for the phone simultaneously, trying desperately to grab it before anyone else could.  Elbows were thrown, arms were scratched, and you were pretty sure Penelope pulled your hair, but you emerged with the phone in hand. Before your friends could stop you, you took the phone off speaker mode and raised it to your ear.

You pushed back your friends, raising a finger to your lips to silence them. “Sorry, um, what was that?”

“I said, is everything okay?  I heard yelling…”

“Y-yeah!  Yeah, it’s fine.” You cleared your throat and tried to sound calm (and not like the small fight with your friends had winded you). “So…what’s up?”

“You gave us your number.  Didn’t you want us to call?” Harrison’s voice was a little muffled, and you began to realize that you were on speaker and Tom was most likely listening.

“Technically, I gave Tom my number.” You cleared some plates from the counter and pulled yourself up onto it, crossing your ankles as you spoke. “And three days is a little late to call, don’t you think?”

You heard Tom’s laughter quietly in the background, confirming your suspicions that he was there.

“We’ve been busy, love.” Harrison replied, amusement apparent in his tone. “We do work, believe it or not.”

“Really?  I was under the impression that you just partied.”

“And we were under the impression that you belonged at that gala, but you ended up being chased out by security.” You could practically see Harrison’s smirk. “Care to explain?”

“Would you believe I was lost?”

“Not for a second.” Harrison laughed.

“Yeah, well…” You smiled sheepishly, even though Harrison couldn’t see you. “That’s wise of you.”

“But Tom and I would still like to know.” Harrison said. “Would you like to come over tonight? Tom and I were going to have a little movie night at our penthouse, and we could use a third.”

Your eyes widened. “You—tonight?”

Penelope poked your arm. “What is he saying?”

Jade mimicked her movement. “What about tonight?”

“The car will be there in a half hour.” Harrison continued, ignoring your interjection. “You’re in that apartment off 42nd and 12th, right?”

“Yeah, I—how did you know that?” You questioned in confusion.

“I have my ways.”

“That sounds vaguely serial killer-like.”

“I’m much too attractive to be a serial killer.”

“Yeah…I really don’t think that’s how that works.”

“Nevertheless, the car will be there in a half hour.  We’re sending our best driver, Johnson.  He’ll buzz your apartment when he arrives.”

You cleared your throat. “Look, Harrison, it’s a nice offer but…my friends and I have plans tonight and—”

“I’m sure they won’t mind if we steal you for one evening.”

“Actually—”

Penelope hit your stomach. “What are you doing?”

“Say yes, you idiot!” Jade hissed.

“But we—”

Penelope grabbed your phone from your hand. “She’d be delighted, Harrison!  She’ll be ready to go in half an hour!”

Your eyes widened and you reached for the phone, but Jade grabbed your arms and held them tight.

“Hey!  I didn’t say yes to—”

“Uh huh.  Nice talking to you, too.  Bye now!” Penelope hung up your phone with a smile.

“Penelope, what the fuck was that?” You asked, eyes wide as you snatched your phone from her hands.

“That was me getting you a personal invite to two hot, rich, English guys’ penthouse.” Penelope grinned. “You’re welcome.”

“No!  I’m not welcome!  I didn’t say thank you!” You exclaimed hotly. “I don’t want to—what the fuck am I supposed to do tonight?”

Jade said “Watch a movie,” as Penelope answered “Suck their dicks!”

“Penelope!”

“What?”

“That’s not happening.” You shook your head adamantly. “I’m not being hired out like some prostitute!”

“Who said anything about prostitution?  That implies money changing hands.”

“You’re ridiculous.”

“No, I’m not.”

“I’m not going.”

“Yes, you are!”

“No, I’m not!”

 Yet, somehow, twenty-seven minutes later, you were being led to a town car by a middle aged man with salt and pepper hair, who was dressed in a stereotypical chauffeur outfit and had introduced himself as Johnson.  Penelope and Jade had watched you drive off from the steps of the apartment building, amusement written all over their faces.  The emotion you felt, however, was in direct contrast to theirs, as your stomach tossed and turned with nerves for the entirety of the drive.

Johnson took you into the heart of Manhattan, pulling up outside a giant skyscraper that had gold lettering reading OH TOWER on the front of it.

“OH.  Is that for—?”

“Osterfield-Holland.” Johnson confirmed before getting out and opening your door for you. “The Tower is owned by Holland Enterprises and Osterfield Incorporated, as part of their shared business ventures.  They have towers all over the world, but their New York location is the most grand.”

“That’s…nice.” You answered, your voice faint as you stared up at the Tower.

Johnson extended a hand and helped you out of the car. “Just introduce yourself to the doorman. He’ll take you up to Mr. Holland and Mr. Osterfield’s penthouse suite.”

“The penthouse…right.” You got out of the car. “Um, thanks.”

“My pleasure. Goodnight, Miss Y/L/N.”

 You bid Johnson goodnight and walked to the door.  The doorman seemed to be waiting for you, and greeted you with a smile.

“Can I help you?”

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N…I think I—”

“Ah, yes.” The doorman smiled again before opening the door for you. “Mr. Holland and Mr. Osterfield are expecting you.”

“I—yes.  Yes, they are.”

“Excellent. Let’s head up, shall we?” The doorman motioned for you to head inside and followed you after you did so

You walked unsteadily into the lobby, unsure of what you may find, but the sight in front of you didn’t disappoint.

The lobby of the Tower was just as grand as Johnson had promised.  High archways, marvelous stone columns, and accents of golf against the white marble…every inch of the entrance way dripped with stature.  The people you saw milling about moved with purpose and status, the same way Tom and Harrison had at the gala. Straightening your posture in an attempt to feel less out of place, you headed for the elevator.

The doorman pressed the button and allowed you to enter the elevator before he did.  Even the elevator was grand, with mirrors and gold trim everywhere you looked.  The button panel confused you, however, as there were only fifty buttons, despite it being clear that the Tower was much larger than that.  The only other thing on the panel was a small blank screen

“Are Tom and Harrison on floor fifty?” You asked.

“Oh, no, miss. They’re on floor ninety-eight, the top floor.” The doorman answered as he pulled a key card from his pocket. “The higher floors have more restricted access, and require a key card to gain entrance.”

He held the card to the small screen, and a beep sounded from the panel.  The elevator began moving without warning, and ascended smoothly to the top floor.

Once there, the elevator doors opened with a ding, revealing a short hallway and a door.

You followed the doorman off the elevator and to the door, where he knocked on the door.

The door opened and revealed Tom.  He had the same easy going smile he had at the gala a few nights before, but instead of the tux he had been wearing, he was dressed in some sort of royal blue, silk pajama…thing.

“Hello, darling.” Tom greeted you. “It’s so nice to see you again.  Lester, thank you for bringing her up.”

Tom passed the doorman—Lester—a small stack of bills.  You could see that the outside bill was a fifty.

“My pleasure, Mr. Holland.  Please let me know if I can get you anything else.”

“I will.  Tell your daughters I say hi.  They’re in the fifth grade now, if my memory serves correct?” Tom leaned against the door frame with a grin.

Lester smiled in response. “They are.  I’ll send them your best.”

“I appreciate it.” Tom turned his attention to you. “Come on in, Y/N.  Let me show you around.”

You nodded wordlessly and allowed Tom to take your hand and pull you inside.  Your eyes widened as you took in the sight of the front hall of the penthouse.

You had been imagining what the home of the likes of Tom and Harrison would look like, but you could have never imagined the grandeur in front of you.  And yet, now that you had seen it, you couldn’t imagine anything else.  Of course every outside wall was a window, giving a spectacular view of the New York skyline.  Of course there was gold banisters, crystal chandeliers, and expensive artwork adorning the walls.  It looked like every mansion you had ever seen on reality TV shows about the 1%, all rolled into one.

“Do you like it, love?” Tom asked, squeezing your hand as you looked around.

“It’s…yeah. It’s unbelievable.”

“It is, isn’t it? Everything here was handpicked and designed for Harrison and I.” Tom said as he ran a hand over a marble side table. “We just put the finishing touches on it last year.”

You nodded again as you mimicked Tom and gently touched the marble side table.

“Come on.” Tom tugged on your hand and gave you a soft smile. “Haz is waiting for us in the theatre.”

“Theatre?”

“Well, it’s not quite the size of a standard movie theatre.” Tom shrugged as he led you to a double door. “This is a New York City penthouse, after all.”

Tom pressed a button outside the doors and they opened, revealing a mirrored and gold elevator. Your eyes widened as he led you inside before pushing a button with a 2 on it.

“Would you care to explain why your penthouse has five floors?” You asked, eyeing the button panel as the doors slid shut.

“Our entrance, kitchen, and living room is on the first floor, all of our entertainment spaces are on the second, extra space, guest rooms, and other miscellaneous things are on the third, Haz and I’s bedroom suites are on the fourth,” Tom counted off on his fingers before frowning. “What am I—oh!  Yes.  The fifth floor is the roof, where we have an outdoor patio, pool, and hot tub.  It’s very well organized.”

You tried not to let your jaw fall open. “Wow.  So you really are the 1%, huh?”

“I have no idea what you mean.” Tom smirked as the elevator came to a stop. “Come, darling.  It’s not nice of us to keep Harrison waiting.”

 You did your best to keep your expression neutral as you passed through what Tom had called the entertainment space.  If you had a dime for everything that you passed that cost more than your university tuition, you probably could have afforded the rent on an apartment like this.  You had no idea why anyone would need a small, private aquarium wall in their apartment, but you passed three before reaching a set of large double doors.

Tom opened the door for you, motioning you inside.

“Ladies first.” He said with a grin.

You walked inside, only to be greeted with the scent of freshly popped popcorn, sticky sweet caramel, and the faint air of expensive cologne.  You looked around at the movie theatre style seats and large projection screen before turning to look at the back of the room, where the scents were coming from.

There was a concession stand, featuring a popcorn machine and a tray of various candies and chocolates.  Next to that was a small bar, which Harrison was behind.  He had his back turned to you as he grabbed bottles of alcohol, before turning back around and greeting you with a grin.

“Y/N, love!” He said as he began mixing a drink. “I’m so glad you were able to make it.  Are you thirsty?”

“I—sure?” You answered nervously as you and Tom approached the bar.

Harrison poured out a pink concoction into a martini glass and handed it to you. “Try that. It’s my own recipe.”

“Harrison and I picked up a bit of mixology in Milan a couple years ago.” Tom explained as he watched you take a sip.

“It’s really good.” You said, licking your lips as you looked at Harrison. “You made this? Really?”

“I picked up mixology much quicker than Tom did.” Harrison said, a smirk playing on his lips as he busied himself making another drink.

“Yes, but I was the one who closed the deal with Orwell that trip.” Tom rolled his eyes as Harrison handed him a glass of something red and orange. “So don’t get cocky.”

“Why?  It’s what I do best.” Harrison made a drink for himself before stepping out from behind the bar. “Did Tom give you the grand tour yet, love?”

You opened your mouth to reply, but Tom answered for you.

“An explanation, but not a tour.  I wanted to ease her into it.”

“Such a gentleman.” Harrison rolled his eyes and sipped his drink. “Is it overwhelming for you, Y/N?”

“A little, yeah.” You shrugged as the boys led you to a seat. “It’s just…I can’t even fathom having this much money to just…spend?”

“Well, that’s what money is made for.” Tom sat own next to you, a small smile on his lips. “Letting it sit around in a bank is no fun.”

“But can’t you think of more useful things to spend it on than…an in-home theatre with its own bar and concession stand?” You asked, raising an eyebrow as Harrison went to fiddle with the projector towards the back of the room. “I think having your own cotton candy machine is a bit much.”

“We do spend it on useful things.  Business, traveling, education…” Harrison took a seat on the other side of you and reclined back, moving your chair so yours would fall back also. “And every month Osterfield Inc. gives 1.5% of its income to charity.”

“As does Holland Enterprises.” Tom absentmindedly stroked your hand.

“1.5%?” You took a sip of your drink as you looked between the two boys.

“It equals roughly £499, 500.” Harrison answered nonchalantly. “Give or take £50, 000, depending on the month.”

You choked on your drink and coughed loudly, leaning forward in your chair.  Instantly, both boys were concerned, rubbing your back as they furrowed their brows.

“Love?  Are you okay?”

“£500, 000 is only 1.5% of your company’s income?  Per month?” You said incredulously. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

“What?  Why is that—oh, right.” Tom shook his head. “You’re probably not used to that.”

“No.  I’m not.” You sighed as the movie started. “It’s just…seeing all your wealth casually like this?  It’s strange.  It’s weird.”

“As weird as you crashing that gala at the MET?” Harrison asked.

“Weirder.  And for the record, that was Jade’s idea. We’re only in New York for a month. May as well make the most of it.”

“You’re only here for a month?” Tom asked, frowning. “Why a month?”

“Because that’s when our apartment rental ends?  And our flight is booked for then?  And we have our actual lives to get back to?”

“So we only have a month with you.”

“Technically, it’s three weeks now.” You smiled a bit, turning your attention back to the movie.

“Three weeks. That’s it?” Harrison’s voice was tinged with disbelief. “That’s no good at all.”

“Why not?”

“Three weeks is barely anything!”

Tom pulled out his phone and started flipping through it. “We’ll have to postpone the overnight trip to LA, then.  And maybe push dinner at—”

“What trip to LA?” You asked in confusion.

Harrison made an annoyed sound. “Tom, you div, that was supposed to be a surprise—”

“What trip to LA?” You interrupted again, looking between both boys.

“It was just going to be a quick dinner, love.” Tom replied, not looking up from his phone. “We’d leave in the afternoon, be back by the next.  There’s a small restaurant downtown that we—”

“We can’t—I’m not going to LA!”

“Well, not now, obviously.” Tom laughed a little bit. “If we only have three weeks in New York, why would we fly somewhere else?  No, we can save that for a different time.  Maybe make it a full weekend.”

“Oh, that would be fun!” Harrison agreed. “You start university again, what, at the beginning of September?  It could be a nice weekend retreat before you get caught up with classes.”

“I don’t think the two of you are getting this.” You inhaled deeply, pressing a hand to your forehead. “I am not going to LA with you, at any time.”

“And why not?”

“Why—?  Because we barely know each other!” You exclaimed incredulously.  You struggled to form a clear, coherent sentence as your thoughts raced. “I can’t accept a trip from two strangers I—you’re probably not used to hearing no, but—look, I’m just not comfortable with—” You took another deep breath. “Coming here tonight was a mistake.  I should go.”

You stood up, only to be pulled back down by two sets of hands.

“No, love, don’t go.” Harrison pleaded. “We didn’t mean to upset you.”

“We’re truly sorry, Y/N.” Tom added, giving you puppy dog eyes. “I know we can be a bit…presumptuous—”

“The word I would use is arrogant, actually.”

“That too.” Tom smiled slightly. “We’re just not quite used to making plans with someone who isn’t in the same life as we are.  Like I said earlier…we forget that this is all new to you.”

“You’ve both been really nice, seriously, but…” You bit your lip. “I don’t want to be your charity project, you know?  Talking with you is fun, sure, but you can’t just throw around plans about trips across the country and dinners at famous restaurants like it’s nothing.  That’s not nothing to me.”

“We know.  We’re sorry.” Harrison rubbed your back soothingly. “No trip to LA.  At least, not yet.  We’ll talk it over with you first, so you’re comfortable.”

Tom nodded. “We don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“This whole thing makes me a little uncomfortable.” You admitted as Harrison handed you your drink again.  You took a sip before continuing. “I feel a bit…bought?”

“What do you mean?” Harrison asked, his brow furrowed.

You shrugged as Tom turned down the volume of the movie that none of you were paying attention to. “I don’t know…I feel like the two of you are trying to…impress me?”

“Of course we are.” Tom replied, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Is that bad?”

“With the way you’re doing it?  Yes.”

Tom and Harrison both looked a little shocked.  You could tell that no girl had ever objected to their affections like you had before.

“Why?  I’m a little lost.” Harrison admitted as he sipped his drink.

“I liked spending time with you at the gala.  It was fun, and I had a good time.  And I think you’re both good people that I want to be friends with.  But I can’t get to know you two if you’re constantly trying to buy my attention.  All of this may be pocket change to you, but it means something to me, okay?” You tucked some hair behind your ear. “To me, a movie night is ordering in cheap pizza, mixing together vodka and Coke, and watching a cheesy, so-bad-it’s-almost-good-movie on my friend’s bed.  Not sitting in a private, in-home theatre, drinking fancy cocktails, and watching…what even are we watching?  Is that Jeff Goldblum?”

“It’s his new movie. Technically, it’s not out until the end of the summer, but we have connections.”

“See!  That’s weird!  You have a Jeff Goldblum guy?”

Tom and Harrison both laughed at your facial expression before pausing the movie.

“Okay.  We’ll be normal.  Or try to be, at least.” Tom said, finishing off his cocktail. “You mentioned…cheap pizza?  And bad movies?”

You nodded as Tom pulled out his phone again.

“We’ll have it delivered.  Why don’t you and Harrison head to his bedroom and—”

“Nope.  No way.  I don’t trust either of you in your bedrooms.” You shook your head and crossed your arms.

Harrison laughed. “Fine.  What about a guest room?  Is that better?  I’m sure we can find a cheesy movie that’s to your liking in there.”

You shrugged. “Okay. I guess that works.”

Tom smiled. “Good. I’ll meet the two of you there.”

Harrison stood up and offered you a hand, helping you out of your seat and towards the door.

As you walked down the hallway and to the elevator, Harrison began to chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing.” He said, shaking his head. “I just think these next few weeks are going to be…very interesting.”

[monetfatalia]

Heat Rises (Todoroki X OC)

Chapter 2

(A/N) Let me start off by saying I am so super sorry this took so long to get out. I was having some issues at home and just really wanted to give you guys a quality chapter rather than some half thought out piece. I hope everyone enjoys and please let me know what you think by commenting and voting!

All credit for the artwork goes to the original owner

Prologue, Chapter 1

•••

It was officially the first day of school, but it felt like the second after orientation day. I got to class early meeting up with the same three people before classes started for the day. We all had the same schedule so the teachers switched between classrooms instead of the students. We had normal core classes like English and math in the morning. I think Yaoyorozu was the only person in those classes who really answered. The rest of us were to excited for the hero basic training after lunch. Speaking of…

“Hey Rue! Come sit with us!” Kirishima’s voice echoed in the already loud cafeteria.

I saw him sitting at a table with a few others from our class. I walked over to the group and took a seat between Kirishima and Sero. I placed my tray down on the table and looked around at who else was with us quickly going through their names in my head.

“Hey you’re the girl with that humiliated Bakugo yesterday right? That was hilarious,” I think the guys name was Kaminari.

“Yeah, I guess so. That wasn’t really my intent but I’m happy you got a laugh out of it.” I replied taking a bite of my cold soba noodles.

“Seriously? That’s how you remember her. She was the third ranked during the quirk test yesterday,” Ojiro commented looking disappointed in Kaminari.

“Hey I can’t help it if she made an impression before class even started.” Kaminari shot back looking offended. I decided to just let them go at it and dig into my food. It was the best I’d had in awhile. Since Ryukyu left I’ve been surviving off of gas station snacks and the occasional sandwich.

“What do you think we’ll be doing today Rue?” Shoji asked molding one of his arms into a mouth. I looked up from my food and realized everyone was waiting for my answer.

“Sorry, what was the question?” I asked looking around at the table.

“Jeez Foster, I know the foods good but try to control the drooling,” Kirishima joked placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Oh bite the weenie Spike, not everybody gets a home cooked meal at the end of the day,” I jested glaring playfully at the red head. The table was silent for a moment before a cacophony of laughter broke out.

“You see! This is what I’m talking about! Are you gonna remember her by her class rank or by how badly she roasted Kirishima just now?” Kaminari snickered elbowing Ojiro. I looked at the two confused before joining the laughter.

“Where on earth did you come up with that anyway?” Sero asked still holding his stomach from the cramping caused by his laughter.

“Movies are the best source of one liners boys, take note.” I joked causing another round of laughter. Once everyone had calmed down we continued to eat our food, and Kirishima didn’t dare joke about my food again. I even ended up getting a fudge brownie from Sato, eating it happily. When the bell rang we were all happy to make our way back to home room making small jokes along the way. We had to split once we got to the classroom and take our assigned seating. The bell rung again signaling class had started and not a moment later the door slid open.

“I am HERE! coming through the door like a hero!” All might announced stepping into the classroom. Everyone began fawning in awe. Including Kirishima, the red haired spike in front of me.

“It’s really All Might.”

“So he is a teacher, this year is gonna be totally awesome!” Kirishima voiced making me snicker at how much of a fan boy he was.

“Hey look is he wearing his silver age costume?”

“I’m getting goosebumps, it’s so retro.” Ojiro made that comment.

“Welcome to the most important class at U.A. High. Think of it as heroing 101. Here you will learn the basics of being a pro, and what it means to fight in the name of good. Let’s get into it! Today’s lesson will pull no punches!” At the last comment All Might held up a flash card with the word “battle” written on it.

“Fight training!” Bakugo was the first to react looking ecstatic about it.

“Real combat?” Midoriya asked immediately after looking like the polar opposite of Bakugo.

“But one of the keys of being a hero is, looking good! These were designed for you based on your quirk registration forms and the requests you sent in before school started.” There was an immediate uproar of excitement and I was part of it. Ryukyu had insisted on designing my costume and sent the form in without even letting me look at it.

“Get yourselves suited up, and then meet me at training ground BETA.” All Might commanded. Everyone rushed to grab their costume case that were organized by our class numbers. I grabbed my own case that had a large number nine on it and went with the rest of the girls to the locker room. Everyone was opening their cases and examining if their costumes were to their liking while I just sat with mine in my lap.

“Foster, aren’t you gonna change into your costume?”Asui asked. She was already changed and looked amazing in her green and black skin suit.

“Yeah, I’m just a bit nervous to see what they came up with,” I answered honestly. Who knows what Ryukyu could have sent in.

“You won’t know until you open it,” Yaoyorozu pointed out adjusting her own revealing costume. I sighed knowing she was right and finally worked up the nerve to open it and see what was in store for me. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. I half expected Ryukyu to put in some absurd outfit as a joke but the costume I was looking at was perfect. The pants were skin tight leggings. Everything but the left leg was fashioned to look like jeans while the left leg was black with white horizontal stripes giving the outfit a little bit of chaos. The boots were knee high with a white base color and ombré detailing that went from sunset orange to a deep crimson. The top was basically a chest plate that was just big enough to cover anything indecent. It was to much skin to be worn on its own, but the jacket that came with made it look much more to my taste. The jacket was probably my favorite part of the outfit. It was a red orange mix with detailing on the hem and the bottom of the sleeves, and it stayed on with a small scarf like strap just under the high collar.

I didn’t waste a second putting it on and examining myself. The measurements were perfect and the costume fit me like a glove.

“Wow Foster! You look awesome! I wish my costume looked that cool,” Mina Ashido commented drawing the attention of the room to me.

“Thanks Mina, you look great too, the faux fur suits you.” I complimented looking over her costume. I was the last one to get my costume on so we all left after exchanging comments and met up with the boys near the tunnel into ground BETA. I caught sight of Kirishima almost instantly, walking along with Sero and Kaminari.

“Lookin good Spike, you too Kaminari,” I cat called causing the two to flush in embarrassment.

“Right back at ya Rue,” Kirishima called back approaching me with Kaminari by his side. We walked in together joining the rest of our class and I felt a comfortable ease wash over me as I walked with my friends.

•••

“You ready for this Ojiro?” I asked grinning at the blonde with a tail. We were making our way to where the bomb was on the map. We had ten minutes to get there and strategize before All Might would let the hero team come after us.

“Of course, you?” Ojiro responded leading us into a room. The bomb was right in the middle of it and the room was littered with stabilizing pillars.

“Yup,” I nodded enthusiastically. After watching Midoriya and Bakugou’s fight everybody was revved up to go all out in the exercise.

“So, how do you think we should go about this?” Ojiro asked stopping to lean on a pillar. I followed suit leaning on another pillar facing him.

“Well considering Todoroki’s ice quirk and Shoji’s overall strength we should probably keep on the defensive. I don’t think splitting up is a good idea even with the comms,” I stated tapping the communication piece in my ear.

“Yeah I agree, I say we wait here and defend in this room. Once they get here you should stay by the bomb and cover me while I go on the offensive. As long as they don’t touch the bomb we have a good chance of winning.” Ojiro stated stretching as he spoke. I nodded humming in agreement.

“Sounds good to me.” As I finished talking the loud air horn went off signaling the start of the match.

“Here we go,” I said breathing through my nerves. We both moved so that I was closer to the bomb ready to protect it, and Ojiro was closer to the doorway ready to strike. We stood waiting for some hint that they were getting close when a uneasy shiver ran up my spine. I barely had time to think as the floor and walls were covered with ice efficiently trapping Ojiro and I to the floor.

“Shit!” I muttered trying to break up the ice around my ankles and feet.

“This quirk is insane,” Ojiro commented trying to pry up his own feet. I heard foot steps from somewhere down the hall outside of the room and quickly untied my boots, slipping my feet out onto the numbingly cold floor of ice. I quickly signaled Ojiro to keep quiet putting a finger to my lips before stepping behind a pillar so I couldn’t be seen from the door. The footsteps got closer and finally reached the room we were in. Thankfully there was only one set of footsteps and I quickly assumed they belonged to Todoroki considering he was the one that froze the building. Ojiro took a defensive stance only to be halted at Todoroki’s words.

“Pry yourself up if you want, but it might be hard to fight me with no skin on the bottom of your feet.” I could hear the amusement in his voice and decided to make my entrance.

“I guess it’s a good thing I wore my boots then.” I stated stepping out from my hiding spot and sending a blast of wind in the ice user’s direction. At the same time I felt the freezing numbness on my feet travel up to my knees.

“How did you—,“ my voice dropped off when I saw he was standing in the same spot looking unfazed by my attack. The only evidence I’d gotten a hit on him at all were the pillars of ice he’d built as a support behind him.

“Apologies, but anything you try will be a waste of effort,” Todoroki said continuing towards the bomb.

“Wasted effort?” I retorted lowly. I used my quirk and pushed Todoroki’s outstretched hand from the bomb with a current.

“There’s no such thing.” I scoffed glaring at the two toned boy. The icy numbness travelled even farther covering my body up to my collar bones. He was holding my gaze with his own indifferent expression.

“You misunderstand. It’s not your fault we’re just playing on two different levels.” Todoroki declared turning back towards the fake bomb. I couldn’t help the smug grin that emerged on my face at the boy’s look of surprise. When I had pushed his hand from the bomb I had created a barrier of compressed air currents like I’d done to protect Ilda and stop Bakugou the first day. Only this barrier was made so it surrounded every inch of the bomb.

“Nice going Foster!” Ojiro exclaimed turning his body awkwardly to see what I’d done. I grinned triumphantly sending him a thumbs up before returning my gaze to an annoyed Todoroki.

“Don’t underestimate your opponent Todoroki, it’s not smart.” I told him, trying to conceal my labored breathing.

“You’re really gonna drag this out? What’s the point when you know you can’t possibly win?” Todoroki retorted with an icy gaze. My lungs were starting to burn with a need for oxygen but I knew Todoroki would take advantage of any break in my barrier. The ice numbing my body was only making it harder.

“My chances of winning are very possible Todoroki. Or did you forget the fifteen minute time limit on this exercise. By my guess there’s only about ten minutes left.” I panted starting to feel my muscles cramp from the ice and lack of air.

“Judging by your current state you won’t be able to keep this up for more then five minutes. So if it’s a test of stamina your after, be my guest.” Todoroki droned returning to his indifferent expression. He’d hit the nail on the head. I’d be surprised if I even managed that long as stamina had never been my strong suit. We all stayed in a tense silence for about two minutes before I was wheezing for even the smallest breath.

“Hey, Foster? Don’t overdo it, it’s just an exercise. I won’t be upset if you give up.” Ojiro insisted. He looked guilty and upset as he said it though. I understood where he was coming from but I had no intention of just giving up.

“Listen to him, this is only gonna get worse for you if you don’t—“ “No I can’t!” I cut off Todoroki’s words clenching my eyes shut and focusing on my breathing.

“The fact that I’m still standing right here in front of you. It means that I’m not backing down I’m willing to give everything I’ve got. I don’t need your pity Ojiro. I’m not giving up, so please come and get me Todoroki. Give me all you’ve got,” I croaked barely getting the words out between breaths. I had to squint to keep my eyes open as I got dizzy and lightheaded. My vision was blurring and I could feel my control over my quirk slipping.

“Foster enough! Yo-......need..........stop.” I knew someone was talking to me but it all sounded like somebody had stuck my head underwater. And just like that my vision got spotty before fading completely to black, dropping me into unconsciousness.

•••

Waking up after passing out is nothing like they show you in the movies. There’s no sudden abrupt consciousness where you’re aware of what happened, but it’s not as dramatic as waking up with no recollection at all. When I opened my eyes it was actually pretty boring. I stared at the cream colored ceiling for a few seconds before slowly sitting myself up knowing not to move to quickly. I’d fainted quite a few times in the past since it was a side effect of overusing my quirk.

“Good, you’ve woken up. You overexerted yourself quite a bit dear,” Recovery Girl spoke up watching as I came back to my senses.

“You’ve been unconscious for about ten minutes. I’d prefer if you stayed and rested a bit longer but you can return to the battle training if you want. To observe only of course” She added turning her attention back to Midoriya who was still passed out on the bed next to me. I got to my feet slowly and pulled on my jacket before thanking Recovery Girl and walking out. My pace was pretty sluggish but I made it back to the monitor room at ground Beta in time to see the end of Kirishima and Sero’s match against Tokoyami and Asui. I stayed in the back leaning against the wall for the rest of the matches. Once all the matches were over the whole class minus Midoriya gathered at the exit for ground Beta.

“That’s a wrap! Super work. You really stepped up to the plate, and we didn’t have any major injuries. Except for Midoriya. You should be proud, excellent first day of training all around.” All Might announces once we were all gathered and listening

“It’s nice to hear some encouraging words after our home room class. Mr.Aizawa was kind of a buzzkill.” Asui commented.

“I’m happy to bring such staggering positivity! That’s all for now folks. I should go and check on young Midoriya’s progress. Now watch, as a pro exits like he’s got somewhere to be!” All Might concluded before dashing away faster than the eye could see.

“Ok you guys that, is a hero,” Kaminari gushed

“Aww I’ll never be able to run that fast,” Ojiro huffed.

“Not with that attitude you won’t,” I jested attracting the attention of the class.

“RUE!” A chorus of voices called out before I was tackled into a group hug consisting of Kirishima, Kaminari, and Sero. I couldn’t help but laugh at the trios actions along with a couple other students in our class.

“I saw your matches, you guys did great.” I complimented once they released me from their crushing group hug.

“Are you kidding! You were way cooler!”

“It’s crazy how you put the whole match on halt like that. Shouldn’t you still be resting?”

“You were so manly! Even if we couldn’t hear what you said, Ojiro filled us in after the match.” All three of them blurred out at the same time still obviously pumped up after their own battles.

“Seriously though, we thought you’d be out longer. How come you got back so quickly?” Ojiro asked taking hesitant steps towards our rowdy bunch.

“It’s a side effect of my quirk,” I paused tucking my bangs behind my ear anxiously. “The more I overuse it the harder it is to breathe and take in air. Usually I stop using it before I pass out.” I explained quickly to my small group of worry.

“Why go that far though? It was only an exercise.” Kaminari questioned looking at me in genuine confusion. I understood his confusion, the faces of the other three confirmed their shared question.

“Why wouldn’t I? Each exercise we do here is to make us better heroes. No one would hold back in a real fight. Take Midoriya for example, he’s still in the infirmary because he did everything in his power to win the match at his current level. I just wanted to do the same.” I recited firmly, truly believing my own words.

“Well said Foster,” Yaoyorozu commented surprising me as I realized the four boys in front of me weren’t the only ones listening to my little speech. Most of the class had already started walking back to the main building with the exception of Yaoyorozu, Ashido, Asui, Bakugo, Uraraka, Tenya, Todoroki, the four boys and me.

“Uuhhh…we should probably be heading back to class now, wouldn’t want to be late.” I stammered feeling my cheeks burn in embarrassment after so many people heard me. To my relief everyone agreed and started the walk back to the main building together, all tension leaving as comfortable chatter took over. I stayed towards the back of the group having some space to myself. My lungs still stung a bit with each breath I took as I fell behind the group step by step. Nothing I couldn’t handle though, it would fade within a couple hours. I could feel somebody’s gaze on me and looked towards my class ahead of me scanning through them til my eyes met a heterochromatic pair, unmistakably unique. Catching my gaze I watched as Todoroki slowed his pace to drop to the back of the group and fall in step with me.

“Is it worth it?” His voice was monotone but his eyes gave away his swirling curiosity.

“What do you mean?” I sighed focusing my eyes back ahead of us.

“You explained the side affects of your quirk earlier. Is using it so recklessly really worth suffocating yourself.” I flinched at his observation , something I knew wouldn’t go unnoticed by those observant eyes of his.

“That’s a harsh way to put it, but to answer your question yes it is.” I started, not facing his inquisitive eyes. “If my temporary suffering can save someone in need, then there’s no doubt that it’s worth it.” I finished the sting in my lungs spiking from talking and walking simultaneously. Todoroki didn’t speak again after that staying in step with me the whole way back even as we fell behind the others.

[hollowphobia-casual]

FRIENDSHIP IS MAGICAL VI:  THE AGE OF SUPER ULTIMATE CHRONICLES OF FRIENDSHIP ORIGINS ZERO

So with Tumblr bursting into flames and most of the artists I know and respect trying to abandon this ship like rats escaping the titanic, I felt it was best if I moved this from my usual December the 25th to... NOW, Because well I worry that many people on this might not be here by the time 17th passes and my eternal dying love to those I care about will be unheard and what kind of person would I be if I didn’t remind EVERY.SINGLE.ONE of my friends how important and special they were to be and what makes them fantastic, So yeah depending on the state of tumblr after Dec 17th this might be the last one, or I will just have to email all of you INDIVIDUALLY. @mistercrowbar CROWBAR! HEY! So, you’ve been on this friendship list since..., we have been friends, which is.., a really long time, like I honestly can not recall a day where we have not been friends and during all that time I can’t get over just how amazing you are! Like, Holy shit are you real? Cause I get to a point where, I think this woman can’t improve anymore, and then BAMB! You do! Like Jesus, I’m always just floored by what you put out, I said once before that I strive to be as good as you some day and that has not changed! But now it gets even harder, cause like, not only are you good at art, You go and pull this beautiful disaster out of your head, SAY HELLO TO FUCKING RYYBYN BITCHES! If there was a competition for some of the best DnD characters I have ever seen on paper, I’d vote for Ryybyn every-time, a literal joke character who evolved into one of the most emotional rollarcoasters I have ever seen, who made me DETERMINED, to either play a game with you (And I fucked that up) or a game of my own, just AH!, This character! Like, their design, their character art, THEIR STORIES! OH GOD DON’T GET ME START ON THOSE, CAUSE YOU BEAUTIFUL GENIUS! You took comics from your session and made a BOOK! That I want to buy! I WANT ONE, BUT CHRISTMAS SO, ARGH!  FUCK YOU SANTA! And!

And.. If you were not just fantastic enough already, incredible artist, attractive, funny, nerdy as all shit, super space wizard, DND and now.., now.. FUCKING HOME OWNER, like how, why, when, what! I know you moved into a house, like, Holy shit you moved into a house, but holy shit you OWN a house, it’s yours, you can paint dicks on the wall and no one can stop you! Your Independence it just, floors me, every-time, here I am questioning everything about myself and myself worth, and you go buy a house, and release two books IN THE SAME YEAR. I said how I wanted to follow in your footsteps, become as great as you, WELL APPARENTLY I NEED TO PICK UP MY GOD DAMN FEET CAUSE I’M TOO FUCKING SLOOOOW. I am SO grateful to meet someone terrifyingly amazing and best of yet, they think of me as their friend (For now) Just.., Please, don’t ever stop breaking down walls and plowing forward, you fantasticly insane woman you. @nightmargin So, what feels like, not that long ago we were chatting about Ralph and OCTs, as well as other kids who are incredibly prone to accidents and damages and now, well, YOU HAVE A FUCKING HIT GAME THAT I CAN’T LOOK LEFT OR RIGHT WITHOUT SEEING IT’S LIKE BOOM! Go to MCM OneShot Cosplayers, Look at youtube videos either seeing your characters in the background or I’m seeing people playing your game! I went on a Discord chat and I saw someone sporting a Oneshot icon. I’m just, so, happy and proud and amazed by the how far you have come, it’s just, you were always a talented person, your comics, story and artstyle was fucking fantastical, I was soaked into every second of it, wanting to learn more and more with each new picture and then, just to put the cheery on this cake, you did music, but not just any music REALLY GOOD MUSIC, I remember going to your gallery on DevianrtArt just to listen to a song over and over cause it was so good, like, damn and now, you are like, HUGE, it’s insane, like seriously, someone took time to make a 3D model of your character, holy shit. I’m lucky to get fanart, but what this is, I just, my friend is amazing person, and I couldn’t be more happy for her if I tried, you should be proud of yourself if you are not, take time and just let the well earned reward sink in, your hard work has defiantly paid off. @blueskyesartic Okay, so like, You are amazing, I dunno if I’ve ever said it enough, but, you just are, there is nothing about you that I’m not awed by, you are just, so fantastic in my eyes, I dunno if that's putting you on a pedestal or not, but fuck it, this is my sappy list so I say what I want! Your art is beautiful, you yourself are just one of the most fun people I have had the pleasure to talk to and I miss it so damn much, are trivial pointless conversations that spiraled endlessly into jokes and deep discussions, are critical thinking on story telling and art in general, it was amazing, but.., either you are never alone or I’m not and, I hate that, I’ve missed you so much it sucks, like.., I have these great memories of us talking, drawing and spending time together, these perfect moments in time that I will cherish to the end of my days, cause I know you are going to become something, I can feel it, but I might end up left behind. I just wish I could spend more time, talking, chatting and just being with you, you are amazing and I’d love to run on to you on a stage at a convention, like we joked about, but no matter what happens, you need to keep being brilliant, every second of every day, you have to continue, cause you are great and everyone knows it. @taplaos HOLY SHIT HAVE YOU SEEN THE SHIT THEY CAN MAKE, IT’S FANTASTIC, LIKE, HOW DAMN!  Everyday I feel like I’m seeing new and more amazing designs for T-shirts created by you and it’s just like, wait, this is tappy right, maker of wonkey eye, how when, OH MY GOD, Your art was always so bright and colourful but, damn you’ve improved so much I feel like I need to stop and just soak in how much you’ve improved, cause damn, can I just say damn. I am so proud of how far you have come and I can’t wait to see what fantastic designs you come out with next, you are amazing Tappy, don’t let anyone ever tell you other wise! @dansome0203 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, GOD DAMIT, I have both talked to you a lot this year, but also not enough, or maybe I have, or maybe I haven’t, I dunno, but god dammit I wanna talk to you more, but you are hardly online when I am it’s so GAH! You are just, that amazing my friend that you are driving me insane! URGH, I feel terrible there is like, a shitton of things I wanna do for you, draw your characters being namely one, but I haven’t had time and just, URGH. But more importantly, the reason I wanna do all these things is just cause, you are fantastic, and I don’t just mean the way you draw boobs (mostly), you are such a kind fun person with so much great creative energy I just wanna, get inside your head, I have such mixed feelings on one side I really wanted to be in that DND game you started, but it’s also just a delight seeing the stuff that comes out of it, the curiosity building from it, that funny ass video you shared with us. Everyday I think I’ve seen the limits to your skill, charm and wit, then some how you change everything with new ways of being all that and more, it’s a tad exhausting. All I can really say that this year has been fantastic in what time we have spent together and I just want to spend more, I can’t wait for the next opportunity I’ll get to do so, maybe I should try asking you into a call or something, I dunno, please just, keep being you and keep being fantastic. @flunafloon & @spesiria & @spookydrawsI I didn’t wanna do this, but... I’m sorry, you guy are fantastic people I love your work, I love each one of you but I just.., I struggle to keep up to date with my own life let alone my friends, but three were such big important parts of me it feels.., no I feel like a shit for basically knowing nothing about what has happened, I use to message you each frequently, keeping up to date on your art, your lives and now.. Fuck I hardly even see you on my dash and I just, fuck, I can’t.., You are all amazing people, I should of been a better friend, I want to say I will be but it’s getting harder and harder and I don’t want to disappoint you, I respect and love the three of you too much for that, I’m sorry for being such a useless shit, you guys, are fantastic and leagues above me. @doodlediddy MY FRIEND IS HAVING A BABY, MY FRIEND IS HAVING A BABY! LIKE, HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE ANOTHER PERSON GROWING INSIDE YOU, LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, It’s beautiful, horrifying and just, I can’t believe that someone I know, someone I met on the internet, had close conversations with and more or less stopped me from doing something, VERY stupid, is going to be a parent, like, WHAT. While I am above the moon happy for you and your bundle of joy, I do know this means we probably aren’t going to chat as much, which hasn’t been that much as it is, which REALLY super sucks, I miss you, like, OH so much, I miss are chats, are discussion.., heh, I still remember when I stayed up super late just to send you Toradora, one video at a time, god, that was so funny and really bad for my sleep schedule actually. Still the best romcom ever. I really miss you, I’m so happy for you, I hope we get to talk again, love you, you big christian mamma. @lou0 There are many people I would attribute to me being here right now, from saving my life, to being a mentor and some just being shoulders to cry on, but none of them.., were the person I obsessed over.., wait let me rephrase that. When I started as good old Clock-workable, making steampunk rip offs of Unknown Peron’s Karl, you were some I admired, you were a kind, passionate and amazingly creative artist, AND HOLY SHIT MAH, SHE’S IN BRITAIN, I COULD POSSIBLY MEET THIS WONDERFUL PERSON. Sadly that never happened, and I’d openly admit I feel very intimidated talking to you, I dunno why, shame? Guilt? I feel like, I don’t belong, that I’m not good enough for you, that there are better people who deserve your attention that I do, despite just how, fun you are to be around and just how important of a person you are to me, so I admit it, it hurts, me seeing you down low like you are, I wanna pick you up, be the motivation you were to me, but I also have to accept that I can’t be, all I can do, is try to be a good friend and be there for you. You are, the most amazing, creative person I have ever known, I’ve wanted to Commission you for long, to collab with you, to have one of my characters drawn by you, hell just be noticed by you, cause you are just that important, I mean, I dunno what I am saying here exactly... You said you don’t see a point, but you to me, your are was the biggest point, it was bright, colourful, sexy, scary, amazing and just filled with so much character, everything you drew and draw has just so much life to it, I wanted to capture some of it and have it for my own. I dunno if what I am saying is meaning anything, but your art reflects you and to me, you are colourful, sexy, scary, amazing and just filled with so much character, every second has been delightful and if you will let me, I would love to continue to enjoy it more. @jabbage I find it funny how, no matter which minecraft server I joined, I never got as far in building a base, than I did on your server, as short lived as it was and despite no one ever joining it, I never joined a server where I got as far as I did on that server, like, I dunno how but there was something about it, maybe it was the fact that I really wanted to build that clock tower. I miss that, I hope you are well, you beautiful human being, It sucks, cause I know that, out of everyone, i feel like I spent time with you the least, which is stupid, cause all I can think of, when talking to you is good memories, which is like saying I stopped talking to you because you were too nice, which is dumb, the truth is i just got busier, and busier and it sucked. Cause I remember thinking how I really wanted to get o know you, cause you were a fun person, I’ll try to be better from now on, cause deserve it, you are a fantastic human being, smart and caring, not just trying to butter you up to make up for my.., terribleness, but I will try, to be better, for you. @shadowscarknight You fantastic mate and I know, it’s been hard, I’ve not been avoiding you, I really haven’t, but, it’s just hard you know? The way, that ended it probably wasn’t easy being you, I dunno if you even know why the two of us stopped talking to each other, hell I dunno why, but that isn’t your fault, specially after you commissioned me, which again, I happy you enjoyed it. You are a great guy, funny, witty, charming and your designs, fuck off they are that good, but you do come up with a lot of them, but then again you get inspiration and you do what you love, so no one can fault you on that, unless your making another ask blog that you won’t update, hehe. I promise to talk more, cause I’m so proud with how you are improving, cause just like, wow, every time I see you look away, it just gets better and better, I should really ask for some tips off of you, cause damn mate, your leaving me behind. I hope you don’t stop being fantastic mate, You are a joy the world can never do without. @totalobelisk I know where you hang out!... So it’s not excuse that we haven’t been talking as much, fuck mate I’m sorry, I don’t hate you or anything, no, fuck no, you are great, it’s me, I’m just.., fucking useless to be entirely honest, I’m terrible at communicating with people and I’m surprised you haven’t just unfollowed me from everything and cut all ties, cause, fuck, I’m just so.. I’m sorry, you are a fantastic guy and we’ve been friends for too long for me to neglect you like this, I’m so sorry, I hope I can start talking to you more to make up for it, or just hit me up sometime so we can chat, cause you deserve better from your friends. @velkro-bitch & @fivirr & @a-trashcan-in-a-corner Am I cheating by grouping you three together, yes, maybe... BUT I ALSO HARDLY GET TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS AND IT FUCKING SUCKS, CAUSE YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL LOVELY PEOPLE AND I WANNA SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH EACH OR EVERYONE OF YOU! (Or maybe I’m just secretly trying for a four way polyamory) But Jesus fucked by a pogostick guys, how can you three come into my life, be amazing shits and then just leave me! You are all such wonderful, thoughtful and delightful human beings that every second with you felt like an eternity, I’m a naturally defensive person, I have a lot of barriers in place to keep myself emotionally safe, and all three of you tore those down! (your gonna have to pay for that) AH, And to make it worse, when you shmucks do show up it’s very late and I gotta go to bed, REVOLVE AROUND MEEE DAMMIT, I WANNA SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS, it’s so hard I love being with you all, but it’s so infuriatingly difficult, I feel like giving up half the time, but I also don’t want to cause I love you all so much, god you three drive me mad, but it’s what I enjoy about you guys and I hope we do get to spend more time together. @phantomdotexe I honestly do not know where I would be without you right now, for you it may seem like all you did was re-post my art, credit me and commission me, but you also introduced me into a large friendly community that I didn’t even think I had the right to be in, I was and still very much am the new kid to all this, but everyone you introduced me to accepted me with open arms, artists and writers whom I thought I’d never get the chance to speak to talk to me casually nearly everyday. It’s all thanks to you! You amazing person you, I know you beat yourself up, ALOT, when you really shouldn’t, you are so amazing, not just in your writing talents, but in your world building and characterization, but even then that isn’t there is all to you, you are.., the most, charismatic, funny, playful and down right enjoyable person to be around, you are infectious, you have touched so many people in so many ways that you manged to build a community of friends and fans who want to build upon your foundations, I dunno if I’m even speaking the right words now, haha.., But you are fantastic, so when you struggle we all want to help, we all want to see you grow as a person, as a writer and an artist, you brought so many wonderful people together, you should deserve to see how truly wonderful you are. @horrorjuice Speaking of people I don’t deserve to be friends with, I’m just.., fuck where do I start, well, I will say it’s not entirely my fault you are hardly ever on Discord and I don’t like Facebook, but Bubby, my bubby, I miss you! I miss your explantions, your ideas, you concepts, your worlds, your beautiful bubby brain like GAH, I remember our chats, are long wonderful chats where your dog would bark loudly, the beautiful horrible slobber monster that he was. I miss you Bubby, I really do, I wanna chat and talk like we use to, I wanna hear your beautiful amazing ideas and see your brilliant art work, god I miss you, but I hope you are well and that you are being just as fantastic and brilliant as the day we first met, you wonderful human being. @valbey-the-girl Fuck you, you lovable asshole! How dare you be such a wonderful insightful human being who has had my back for so long, I remember when we became roommates for University as a somewhat after thought, we hung out but we were not exactly ‘friends’, but now, I dunno how I could of survived with out you! You are a wonderful source of humor and opposed thinking that I enjoy, you agree and don’t always agree with me, which is the best sort of friend, someone who can challenge my values and viewpoints, but at the same time doesn’t belittle me..., mostly, you twat. I am so happy that we’ve stayed friends for as long as we have and that I invited you more into my world, with regular games of DnD and other video games, as you prove to be time and time again a great person I love to have at my side. I hope we get to hang out again person to person, because I miss you mate, talking on chat gets stale fast specially when your friend is as great as you. @whatever-i-feel-like-rebloging I struggle, so hard to understand us, that it hurts cause.., I want to be friends, but I just always feel like I’m being pushed away from you, and it hurts. I’ve spoken to many friends about the troubles we have had and many of them have said to drop you, but I don’t and I dunno why, maybe because, I’m scared? Or maybe cause I’m unsure how or, perhaps I’m just very hopeful? I remember a time where we’d talk all the time and I loved it, it was great, we never discussed or mentioned how we didn’t like each others thing, we joked, we flirted and it was fun.., but now, all we seem to do is give each other little comments and snap at one another and I hate it, I hate it more than anything I can imagine. I wanna be your friend again, I wanna laugh with you, joke with you but, I feel like I’m just being singled out and removed, that I am something of mock and ridicule, which I hate and I dunno what to do with myself or you anymore. I hate, disliking this, I just.., I just wish I had never liked you, because I feel like that was when everything went down hill, cause we use to be such good friends, but now, I feel like we are more, acquaintances.., it sucks. @grittysugar HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. That’s all... ... .. Okay okay, but fucking seriously, you went from some gal drawing redhead accident prone children flying goats and tall noodley men with green hair who probably shouldn’t be to fuck. TO DO FANTASTIC CREATIVE ANIMATIONS ON YOUTUBE, LIKE HOLY, GUM DROP SHIT, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA-, I wanna kiss you I’m so proud, like, GAH, I still can’t even put it into words, like it was..., uh ... .. . EIGHT YEARS AGO, that we were opponents in a tournament on the internet and now your, I’m so happy for you, and I SUCK cause I haven’t bought any of your merch yet... (but I will), And if I can I’d love to see you at a con so I can give you a big ass hug, but that might be another, I dunno, ten years. Also I’m a shit head and it’s occurred to me I have never asked for your Discord information, which now is probably high protected FU-, God I dunno, if you still count me as a friend, or even a blip on your radar, but I just wanna say, I’m happy and just, SO proud of you, I want you to keep growing as a person, an artist and just, be fantastic. @clauseart OH MY GOD HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR COMIC GOING! And shame on me for not staying in touch more cause holy shit, you are on fire, your colours, designs, panels it’s just, WOOF, it’s blowing me away, I’m so proud for you, every time I see you post a page, all I think about is how I need to catch up because my comics currently in the dust, while yours steams ahead. I honestly can not wait to see where things are going, and to see how you go with it, I may not be the best of people at times, but I’ll be damned, if I won’t try to follow along the best I can, cause you have only just begun and I’m so excited to see you be yourself and just wow everyone around you! OH and Please most some stuff from your DnD game! I’m curious about what you guys are up to these days, hehe. Be fantastic. @funktrash The girl was essentially my fan when I was a nobody is doing a webcomic better, quicker and more on time than me, AND IT’S GREAT, like, AH! I know, you beat yourself up, it’s part of who you are for such a long time but, you have to realise, YOU ARE AMAZING, you are fantastic! Like, seriously, you have a comic, your is beautiful and just, WHAT, I remember back when we made an rp group based on this thing! And now it’s something I can read and enjoy, and I’m enjoying it, seeing these characters whose stories I’ve only had the chance to glimpse at now brought to life with your beautiful colours and wonderful sense of humor, timing and pacing, it’s just, YES! I’m so amazed at you, you are fantastic, don’t ever tell yourself otherwise, cause you are a star, a bright burning beacon of awesome! @mortooncian-art FRIEND!... FUCK! Okay, so I’ve always known you existed forever and I’m always loved your work, I even followed your webcomic! Until it wasn’t a webcomic anymore, but sadly I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU, expect that you are so funny, your art is fantastic and I’d love more than anything to get to know you more! Cause like, I see your art, these lovely illustrations filled with so much character and life, I just wanna do the same, (If I only wasn’t very busy) Like, I enjoyed your stuff so much that I regularly looked forward to going to twitter just to see what you posted, either a comment or art, cause it was the highlight of my day, and I HATE social media with a passion, but you made me really excited just to see your posts, and I know a person who can do that with just their art is probably twice as exciting as a person, and I really want to get to know you more! So I hope you keep being a wonderfully fantastic person, whom company I get to enjoy in the future. @sunshinedrago This woman, single handily got me back into watching shitty anime again, and I love her for it, God dammit you are such a fucking fun person to be around, despite the damage to my ear drums I do enjoy our conversations from nerding the fuck out, to tearing things apart. I may not always seem that happy at times, but I’m naturally a miserable person so you will have to forgive all the BS you went through with me, but god you are intoxicating in your positivity, the characters you make are enjoyable to playground with, the ideas you come up with are very surprisingly engaging and your commissions, equally detailed and time consuming, haha. Like Jen I dunno how I have lived with out you so far, you are such a conversational delight it makes me feel like I’m a teenager ago, howling loudly in laughter as I watch awkward as shit anime and actually enjoying my life, but whats great about you is not just the fun, it’s also the insightful and thoughtfulness to you we all grow attached to, you have a great way of handling peoples pain, that I have only seen in a few people, being to be compassionate, reasonable and always to get a chuckle at the right time, I dunno how you do it. But please don’t change, it be a travesty if you did. @tuz-ohtopia TALK TO ME MORE! Tuzoh, you are a very busy guy like.., stupidly busy the amount of work you put into your DnD sessions are stupidly amazing and the stories you have crafted are fantastic, all I want is to share in it more, to listen to how you work, you scheme and plan, your creative thoughts, everything. But you are busy, which is what both I love and infuriates me about you, you have such a driven determined work schedule it puts me to shame, I never wanna see you slow down, because I know you are doing something that is just, wonderful, but at the same time I wanna talk to you, get know you and build on our friendship, I feel like I’ve talked about you to more people then I have ever to you and it sucks, cause you are an awesome dude. Not trying to pity you and say just stop everything for me, I’d never want that, I’m just, so enthralled by your creativity that I wanna get to know the inner workings, maybe work with you. But no matter what happens please just keep doing what you are doing my friend, you are a delight and fantastic treasure, I can’t wait to see what you do. @knifetotheback WHERE ARE YOU! no seriously I mean it, you appear like, every now and again, but you are hardly ever around and it sucks, cause you are a fun wonderful person. You were always a delight to talk to and it sucks that we don’t get to chat as much, I hope you are alright and that you are still having fun with what you are doing right now, we miss you, I miss you. Keep being wonderful, where ever you are with whatever you are doing. @nickala OKAY, So, feelings, down in words,..., fuck this is hard, I dunno how to describe you, like shit, you are amazing, but beyond that, you aren’t just an amazing friend, you are a unique friend, a special friend, no wait, that sounds romantic, what I mean is.. I feel trapped so often, I hate it, my brain is flawed and wrong, I know I shouldn’t think like that, but I can’t help it, I speak and I make people mad, upset, annoyed or just.., I hate it, it’s the part of me I dislike the most, I just want to talk to people and say “HEY, you are beautiful, keep it up” But I can’t, but you, understand me, you help me so much with these thoughts and understanding the world in a way others could not and for that I will never not be thankful, but at the same time I feel shit, because, I know you are struggling, I wanna help so much, I wanna be there to make it easier, to help you through this rough patch, but I can’t I dunno what the right words to say are cause this isn’t a thing where one solution is the right solution.., but you have to realise you are amazing, your creativity is outstanding, the designs and creatures you create are far greater then anything I could ever come up with and I wish I could be on par with your skill in monster design and anatomy. You don’t have to compare yourself, to others cause you are already in a league others couldn’t even dream to reach, if only you could focus on that and draw strength from it, and I wish I could help you do that, but all I can say is that I will be here, the best I can, even if it’s terrible. @thelovelyghosty Is it possible to meet someone who makes you very calm and also incredibly nervous at the same time, YES IT’S YOU! I love you Jen, I am so happy that I get to have you as a player in my DnD games as well as be a human being I get to call a friend! It’s amazing just how open you are to everything as well as critical thinking, you are a breath of fresh air compared to people who only speak with their feelings and not just their thoughts and I enjoy every second of our conversations, yes even the dumb ones! I feel like you complete a part of social circle that I didn’t know was missing and that’s why it hurts so much I hear what you have to struggle through, but you amaze me, because despite all the bullshit you are still here, you are still a person whose company I get to enjoy, your strength is awe inspiring even if you don’t see it yourself, not to mention your brain, have I gone on about your brain enough, cause it’s fantastic! I wish I could just ramble on with you for all day and night, cause I imagine the discussions we’d get up to come be fantastic. You bring a fantastic fresh view you everything, even seen in your character, the Amazing Shield, they’ve hardly spoken but like you they have left an impact on me and everyone else that I doubt anyone will ever forget and as such it wants me to return in kind, you are an outstanding person and I want you to keep being outstanding, so I’ll always be there for you, no matter what, day or night. @altoblt5 Okay, first off, you are too adorable, so I will just have to kill you and second, thank you for joining my DnD game! I won’t lie, I was super fucking hesitant at you joining as I’m not good with people at all, expect all these friends above this text, ignore them for a moment. I am hesitant as shit, I’m nervous and I worried that anyone could be a potential threat to me or others, but you, came fucking tap dancing in with a stupid, lovable infectious character and personality that just, melded so well it made all my worries go away and the more I’ve gotten to know you the less regrets I have about you ever joining our game, you’ve only improved it by adding a dynamic to the group that we didn’t know we were missing from the start! I hope as we go on we can stay in touch, possibly do more games together and just chat more, cause we should really do some other stuff outside of DnD. @riyamilea I’ve been following you since Rise and I have to say, I’m so happy I did, and I was fucking ecstatic when we got to play in a DnD game together, like H.O.L.Y SHEEEET, that was fun for as little as it lasted, but I guess it was invertible a bit, there were signs, but out of it I finally got to make you my friend, and that's an experience I am so proud of cause like, YOU ARE AMAZING, you are so fun and insightful, I just, I’m so excited that I get to talk to you, cause just like, GAH I dunno how to put this into words, you are just, brilliant, that’s it, you are brilliant and I can’t wait to spend more time with you and hopefully, we can play more DnD together in the future, in the mean time, just keep being fantastic.

[rayinberkeley]

Here we go again, or, why I’m starting to hate liberals too

I remember 2015 so fondly. I was actually asking the question, what is a left wing version of McCarthyism, because I insisted there was no such thing. I said liberals weren’t like that. I said that I feared the most moderate Republican way more than I’d ever fear any extreme liberal. 

Boy did 2016 open my fucking eyes. An election season where I favored Bernie Sanders, but was excited about Hillary as well, ended in bloodshed, lost friends, tons of hurt feelings, and a country in shreds. Thanks to liberals. Not entirely, but they were the ones who delivered the hardest, harshest blows.

And since I’d always said McCarthyism was, basically, modern day witch-accusing, leading to witch-hunting, that’s exactly what we got. They wanted Bernie so badly that they latched on to decades of rightwing accusations designed to make people suspicious of the Clintons. And Russia swallowed them up.

This election season is going to be so much better, right? It’s going to be the one where Bernie-or-Bust liberals who rage-hated Hillary so much that they masturbated to visions of her roasted on a stake are going to have learned their lesson, right? 

Nope. Not one apology from them. They think WE need to learn. For example:

I give this example because it’s what started the whole shebang wherein I kicked a fucking hornet’s nest. And I’m not sorry. Fuck these people. Watch them pile up on a woman who stands up to this asshole: 

They started accusing her of being Islamophobic! For fucking what?!?!?!

And nobody can explain why this is about him being fucking Arabic! Who needs to. Apparently just throwing the accusation is enough for them now. They accuse, you’re just wrong forever because they said so. Sounds just like how witch trials go, doesn’t it?

They piled onto her pretty badly, as you can see. Why??? What the holy fuck did Mangy say that was even fucking close to wrong? It’s a woman defending a woman to this ridiculous man, who had just been clicking on more fucking Russian clickbait, designed to make morons like him act fucking insane.  But she’s the one attacked, for no fucking reason other than they want to be offended and they want to also say Hillary needs to shut up and go away.

But it’s when this woman, who I think just used her own ladyness in the most despicable way possible, stepped in.....

....that I fucking tossed my inner bitch in and lost my shit, because god dammit I’m getting sick of liberal fuckers now:

Well, you can imagine. She RT’ed this crying victim about how I’m “mansplaining” at her, and well, the hate just rolled on in because zOMG!!!! a cis-male white guy dared to say something at her!!! Bring out the smelling salts because we gots us a MAN being all wordy and shit! Like her lady parts magically made it okay for her to stand up for misogyny! 

I felt a little like Jack from Will & Grace. I wanted to say, “Oh honey, I am not like the other men in your life. I ......will slap you!” Cuz this bitch needed a verbal slapping. Not that she’ll get any lesson out of it. No, you can’t hear any sense when you’re screaming, OMG WHITE MAN IS MAKING ME CRY!!!!

And of course her hate-bubble-wrap army she’s wrapped up in protected her from any sense too. Apparently an angry gay man is new to these “liberals.” They were all super offended that I suggested Russia told her what to think (while they’re all right here, right now, reacting to Russian clickbait). 

But the fucking fact is, ya did, bitch. Ya did let Russia trick you. They tricked your over-reacting, labia-flapping twat-for-brain, easily into hating one woman more than you gave a fuck about your country. You shared bullshit, and you helped with the venomous campaign against her, when we had a fucking NAZI running on the other end.

And what’s worse, the Russia-gate denials that flew at me from these people were as knee-jerk as climate denial from a Republican. They still think Russia didn’t do this, and they still think Hillary stole the election from poor pooooor pooooooor Bernie! And that he would’ve won and he has always been perfect in every way!

I don’t give a fuck if you’re tired of hearing about Russia. It fucking happened. It’s a matter of cold hard fact that they played your ass. They’re doing it right here. Right now. And you’re falling for it even at this very fucking moment, and they still deny it?

And if you don’t like me throwing my inner woman into the mix, using it for the authority that she thinks her flapping vagina supposedly gives her, well fucking touch shit. I must have an inner woman, since you all said we were just voting with our vaginas. Remember that? 

You all kept saying we were brainwashed by the DNC and the corporate media, just because we didn’t feel the need to nail her to a piece of wood and burn her at the stake for not being abso-fuckin-lootely liberal pure, as though some fucking how any of you are. 

It couldn’t possibly be that we knew she would be a better president than what we got, or even that we knew she’d be better than Bernie. Of course not. You all just kept bringing up stupid shit from Hillary and then saying you couldn’t trust her. @_@ I just can’t trust her I just can’t trust her I just can’t trust her @_@....... we remember you fucking sheep running around, being the zombie horde of irrational hate. We remember it fucking well. You just can’t stand being treated like this back, can you? Because you’re specially entitled to treat everyone else like shit without any return.

Well guess what. Bernie........ I just can’t trust him. He fails your own fucking purity test.....  he just stomps about issues but can’t explain any of them. Whose staff is remarkably lacking women and minorities, and who profits from poisoning Sierra Blanca and tells them to fuck off about it, which may be why he hasn’t produced his taxes, and to add to that suspicion, the Tad Devine connection and the failure to vote against Russian sanctions!

You were all rabid and angry and evil and vicious about it, and I have yet to hear one fucking apology from one single fucking one of you. You’ll never get one from me. Fuck you, woman. Let me fag-splain this shit to you since you seem too fucking stupid to understand.

Fuck you, fuck her, fuck the entire fucking thing you’re fucking doing, fuck James fucking Zogby, and fuck the liberals ready to tantrum their way into our country going straight into the next Holocaust. Thanks to you we’ve already seen them let Puerto Ricans die, rip families apart, create CONCENTRATION CAMPS, and you tell us WE need to learn? What did you change? How are you being any different than last time? Because it’s cold hard fact, YOU GOT US HERE. And I have 17 motherfucking intelligence agencies saying YOU are the ones Russians could count on to react to their propaganda. Hillary supporters DID NOT.

I have my man-vagina, so I can say this. After all, white woman, you’ll be fine, but historically, it’ll be Nazis pushing those minorities and gays (like me) into fucking ovens. But you know, you care so fucking much more than we do, right?

You know, because you’re so much liberaller-than-thou or something. With a big, low-hanging, flapping bunch of fucking meat curtains and shit.

All we did in 2016 is not want to burn a woman at the stake. That was our unforgivable crime for which you all flipped the fuck out on us. We weren’t the ones saying she was perfect in every way. That was Berners about Bernie. You all said he has always done everything perfectly werfectly righty tighty, and always been for the people weople! So it’s totally fine to throw dollar bills at Hillary’s vehicle and call her a whore.

Get your shit together. There is no arguing with it. Your lady parts don’t give you magical rights to tell women to shut up, especially when they’re standing up for a woman against a man saying that some fucking how, it’s Hillary that hasn’t learned anything. Really? 

Fuck you. And let me throw in, fuck you, you fucking cunt. I no longer give a shit that you’re offended. I hope you are. You just made me hate liberals, and that took a LOT to make happen.