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nnightskiess · 3 years ago

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𝐟𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞: 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 (𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ₊° -𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐛𝐲 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐝𝐥𝐞, 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥 𝐮𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤.

series masterlist

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

It's crazy, right? How quickly a person is able to adjust when they really need to? How fear keeps us going, keeps us alert. How nerves keep us concentrated, how the feeling of excitement and anxiety both make your stomach flutter. But too much of it for too long and something will block.

Sometimes it's your mind, sometimes it's your body, sometimes it's both, and sometimes it's everything you can imagine all at once. Some people can keep feelings, thoughts, struggles, pain and emotional baggage trapped and repressed for years, others explode after even a day of attempting to hold it all in.

But when all of those things collide together in a messy mash, making you feel unsafe, feel trapped, feel in danger, how long can one person really hold on? What will cause them to break? Can they even afford to let the reigns loose? To turn their heads? To ignore their problems like some naive little girl? As if there is no problem at all?

Do they seek help? Are they afraid to speak up? Will speaking up have consequences? And what will happen to the people left behind when they eventually accept the help offered?

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Wiping the sleep out of your eyes, you rolled over onto your back, but you couldn't, not entirely. Something was wrapped around you and restricted your movement. You could only let out a tired sigh when you noticed that it was Fatin's jacket. She hadn't taken no for an answer and hadn't given up.

It was still warm from your body heat, and you caught yourself burying yourself underneath it for another five minutes, seeing as no one seemed awake yet. But when you started getting cold again and turned your head to the fire, you realised the flames were close to going out.

Grabbing a few dry pieces of bark and other stuff you had found in the woods, you quietly went to work. Two of the bigger pieces of wood were placed on either side so that the fire had something to burn away in case the girls wouldn't be awake for another few hours. There was no telling how late or how early it was, but depending on your inner alarm clock, it must have been somewhere around 5am if you had woken up, seeing as that was the time your usual days would need to start in order for you to get everything taken care of each day.

With your swagbag around your shoulders and one of the cokes assigned to you in your hand, you left the cave.

A solid two hours later, your back ached, your body dripped with sweat, your arms felt like spaghetti strings and you were pretty sure your legs had doubled their size in muscle after having to push through the thick volcano sand with each step. The worst thing was that you still had two letters to go. The sun was already blaring down on you, but you knew the longer you took, the harsher it would get.

You found yourself playing with the beads of your bracelet on your walk to the water. It helped you calm down. It helped ground you, but it also crushed your heart again and again with each bead you grazed.

Wading waist-deep in the ocean, your hands splashed cold water over your face and arms. Your eyes focused on the horizon, on the endless open ocean ahead of you. If only you could just know what way home was. Were you facing your back to it now? Or were you staring right at it with only the distance keeping you apart?

Nonetheless, you muttered out a quick 'I'm sorry' to the distance that was ahead of you, your eyes going to the name spelt in your bracelet.

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The sound of someone hurling made everyone's eyes shoot open. Dot sat on her hands and knees, spitting something out of her mouth. She took a huge gulp of her coke, making her eyes water and it resulted in a coughing fit.

"Dottie, what's- are you alright?!" Shelby being Shelby, she had jumped to her feet as soon as she had woken up. She stroked the girl's back, who let out an exhausted small laugh.

"Woke up with a little present in my mouth."

"What's going on?" Nora's voice cracked as she sat up with an adorable tired frown on her face.

"Ew! What is that?" Martha shot back once she opened her eyes and saw the present a small distance away from where she had been sleeping.

"Going by the roomies we had last night, I'm assuming it's bat shit."

"You're joking!" Toni looked around, towards the ceiling, but the bats had apparently found another place to hide.

"And you're batshit crazy for being so chill about it." Fatin made a repulsed face and frantically checked herself if she had been pooped on during the night, "I swear to God I will scream my fucking lungs out if they- Where's Y/N?"

The girls looked around the circle and noticed the empty space where you had been curled up during the night.

"Of-fucking-course," Fatin muttered under her breath, annoyed, and grabbed the jacket you had left behind. She shook off the dust and threw it back in her suitcase.

Shelby immediately walked out of the cave, to see if there was something she could find that signalled where you had gone off to, but stopped as soon as her eyes flashed across the beach down below. She let out a breathy chuckle,

"You guys!"

The girls followed and all took in the sight.

"Won't you look at that..." Dot whispered out, quite impressed.

Made from the rocks and pebbles you had been able to find, the word HELP had been spelt out in huge letters onto the sand, on full display for any passing plane flying over. If this didn't get someone's attention in the case of a plane flying over the island, you would all be lost for sure.

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"Why?"

You tilted your head at Faber's question, and so he continued,

"Didn't you think rescue was already on its way? Your action came kind of out of nowhere, no?"

"It was better to not take any chances and I didn't know how long it would take for them to arrive. I mean, the others were all very hopeful it would only take a few days."

"And you weren't?"

"If you set low expectations, you can never be disappointed or hurt."

"That must be a pretty despondent way of life."

"I like being realistic."

Faber nodded to himself and rose his eyebrows as he glanced over your papers. You hadn't lived in a candy world, where everything had been all rainbows and unicorns. You had lived your life without the rose coloured glasses on and you had taken that mindset with you to the island.

"Did that bother you? That the others seemed to believe help would arrive soon?"

"Sometimes, when that kept them from helping. Not at the beginning, when I still had some high hopes, deep down. Later on, it was harder to keep lying to myself, to keep believing."

"What made you stop believing?" Young asked.

"When I realised the black box wasn't broken, yet we never saw a boat on the horizon... or heard a nearing plane."

"Was that before or after you spelt the word 'HELP'?"

"After. Maybe a week and a half.... two weeks in?" You stopped and watched Young scribble your answer down quickly. He noticed, smiled an encouraging smile and so you continued, "But... even when I still believed... we needed to show someone that we had survived the crash. That we were out there, on the island, waiting for them. We had messed up with the mirror so we hadn't left our mark on our island yet. I needed to do something."

"Your island?" Faber emphasised.

"I mean, yeah. It became ours. It was, like, the annoying nephew everyone hated, but we had to include him anyway. We couldn't escape from the island, so we had to make due and make it our own."

Faber and Young exchanged a look before the latter opened his mouth, "And did you? Make due? Make it your own?"

"We learned by trial and error-"

Memories flitted through your mind, from the mussels to the shark attack, the tree that had almost killed one of you girls, the countless times the fire had gone out, the cold nights that followed, the rainstorms, the insect bites, the floods, the poisonous plants, the- You stopped, realising you would spend the next ten minutes thinking of everything that had gone wrong. Then other images flitted across your eyes, the laughter and the songs being sung around the campfire, the friendships that had bloomed, the fun you'd had after the gummybears, the sunny afternoon at the waterfall, the games of truth or dare, all the hugs and all the tears that had been shared and the love you had learned to accept and reciprocate.

"-but it brought us closer."

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

"Alright, guys, I say, since she worked her ass off contributing to our rescue, that Y/N here-" Dot squeezed your shoulders and gave you a playful rattle, "-gets to sit and rest her ass for the remainder of the day."

You looked around— at least every girl, however wide or small, gave you a smile. It was then you realised that they looked at you differently than all the boys and girls at school. They had never really seen you, but when they had... Oh boy.

These girls seemed to like you. Genuinely. That was entirely new to you, but instead of the unknown feeling making you squeamish, you relished in it. The feeling of being liked, accepted and included was a nice change. That in and of itself was an odd feeling. Nobody usually liked you, at least not back home, where you had been written off by so many people, especially after what had happened. You knew what they thought when they saw you walk the isles in the grocery store or fill up the gas of your grandpa's old car— failure, vermin, bad harvest, dyke, just like her mother, a bad example to her sister, high school dropout, the shame of the town and a shame to your grandparents, at least that was what they thought. Your grandparents couldn't have loved you more, even if your grandpa had forgotten all about it.

No one had ever expected much from you outside of your family, but as soon as you had slipped up, all hell had broken loose and even people who barely knew your name had shunned you. Your family, though, depended heavenly on you. They knew the true story— that you were a hard-working, determined and caring young lady who held great responsibility for her family and who would walk through fire for them.

If they only knew that was exactly what you had done. Maybe they would take all of their words back. But knowing how things go in this century and this society? It would never be forgotten. Not only because you were a girl and mistakes couldn't be afforded, but also because people loved to gossip, loved to hold grudges, and loved to cause drama, judge and point fingers.

The encouraging words sent your way brought you back to the moment. You couldn't help it, but you beamed from ear to ear at their attention. Rachel high fived you, Toni gave you a fist bump and the others pulled you into quick side hugs.

"My Lord, that must have taken you hours!" Shelby was the last one to speak up. She smiled wide but kept her distance.

You shrugged, not knowing how to take the compliment, "Uh- I was up early."

A pinch in your upper arm made you pull your arm to your chest, "Ouch!"

"You didn't work hard enough. You still feel scrawny."

You playfully pushed Fatin aside and cracked a smile at seeing her own enormous toothy grin.

"Sleep well?" She gave you a knowing smirk.

"Um, yeah. Thank you... for the jacket, I mean."

"It's yours to keep if you want it."

"It's fine." You forced a smile.

Dot gently sat you down in the sand and pushed a visor over your head.

"What will you be doing?" You looked up at her, thankful she was blocking the sun from shining right at you.

"I dunno-" She took a quick look around, "Maybe see if things washed up again, take a stroll through the woods to find water... food or anything else that could be useful.."

"I'll come with-" You had already made a move to stand up but Dot stopped you,

"I'm pretty sure you should rest now. It's fine, we'll manage."

Fatin approached, wearing ridiculously large sunnies and a green bikini. She struggled to walk through the sand, each step making her sink further, but when she dropped down next to you, she let out a relieved breath.

"What... are you wearing?!" Dot dropped her arms to her sides.

Fatin looked over her sunglasses, "Jesus, I thought this island was void of narrow-minded Karen's and male high school teachers?"

"The pillars of survival are shelter, water, fire, food, mindset and creating rescue signals. Our priorities should be those, not working on a fucking tan!"

"Loosen up, Dorothy! We have food, we have drinks, we have a cave, we have a huge ass sign on the beach-" She counted on her fingers, "-and besides, rescue is coming anyway, the only thing we don't have is a tan. And relaxing in the sun will gravely improve my mindset. We should make the best of our circumstances." She waved her off playfully and Dot left with a huff.

Your eyes gazed over the beach where each girl seemed to be doing her own thing. Leah read her book while occasionally staring out towards the horizon, Nora passed the time scribbling in her notebook, Martha sat with Toni further up ahead, throwing pebbles in the waves and Rachel was doing sit-ups. Shelby mindlessly walked the shoreline, to her ankles in the water. Why Fatin had decided to sit with you out of all people was unknown to you, but the thought that maybe, just maybe, it was because she liked your company, made your chest fill with an unknown warmth.

Although, the two of you sat in a nice silence, and you didn't want to interrupt her peace, the quietness made your thoughts wander. It made you think of home. That was the least you wanted right now. So, you opened your mouth,

"I feel like a fish in a tiny bowl that's put behind a window on a hot summer day. How can you be so fine being in the sun?"

"Because not all the fish in the sea are the same." She shrugged absentmindedly.

The air was warm and humid, but the sound of the waves was soothing. While it had been incredibly annoying the first two nights, you had missed it last night, when it had been too quiet for your liking in the isolation of the cave. Apparently, Fatin hadn't mind the disrupting of her peace, and instead shot a question of her own your way,

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

You cocked your head to the side as if she had just asked you the most ridiculous question ever. She remained unbothered and didn't move a muscle, her eyes still shielded by the sunnies as she looked up towards the sky.

"Well?"

"Uh, no, I don't. I used to, sort of?"

"Sort of?" She turned on her side so she could look at you, "Was it, like, a timeshare thing? A...you get her in the weekends and I get her throughout the weekdays, kind of deal?" She snickered slightly.

You hugged your legs to your chest and scraped the sand off your ankles that had dried up, "We were close to dating... at least, I think so? It felt like that for me. And then, we weren't."

"Why are you always so cryptic?" She propped her head up and leaned on her elbow, "Doesn't matter. I love the mystery. I'll figure you out." She winked, but you couldn't see through her sunglasses, "So what happened?"

"She left me on read. Blocked me, eventually."

Fatin noticed you crumble as you rested your chin on your knees. You grew incredibly small and vulnerable. She didn't like it one bit.

"What?! What the hell was wrong with her?"

You allowed a tiny smile. The sincerity in her voice was clear.

"Can't say I've never done the same, but I usually had a reason. But leave you on read? I wouldn't. Besides- you don't own a pet tarantula and let it sleep in bed with you, you don't have a toilet that rings the A-team's tune whenever you flush and I'm sure you never sniffed someone's clothing while dancing in a club and asked what detergent they used."

"I'm scared to ask if it's rhetorical or if you actually knew those guys."

Fatin ignored you and continued, "You seem like a great girl, and that's saying something since I don't do the whole girl friendships thing." She sat up further so that she could playfully slap your leg, "Hey- it's her loss. Hope you're not, like... still all down in the dumps about it?"

Your eyes flashed towards Shelby who sat on a rock staring at the ocean, her face full of misery. Fatin followed your line of sight. Right at that moment, Shelby turned around, caught red-handed by already staring back at you.

"Uh, um... I-" There was no clear answer you could give her. Not a yes or no. Feelings were a complicated concept, after all.

"Oh... oh no-" Fatin removed her sunglasses, "You're still head over fucking heels about her, aren't you?"

You swallowed, hard, and turned your gaze away from Shelby. Fatin had seen right through you and that scared you. No one ever really had, nor wanted to, not besides Shelby, and it felt like a slap to your face.

"I'm not?!" You scowled, "Life's just put on pause after arriving here and I can't help but fill the hours thinking about everything that went wrong before all of this."

Fatin's face fell. The feeling was awfully familiar to her.

You jumped to your feet and threw the visor off.

"Wait- where are you going? I never meant to-"

"It's fine, don't worry." You reassured her, but the frown on your face made her feel like it wasn't fine, "I only have one coke left and I'm thirsty. We need water."

"And you're gonna have it magically appear in front of you... how?"

"Make fun of me all you want, but the next rainstorm that passes, we'll have fresh water."

Pinching the bridge of your nose, you tried to dig into your memory of how you had learned to collect water all those years ago, during Scout camp. Sure, you could just put your empty soda cans on the ground during a rainstorm, but that would still not leave you with a reliable water source that you could fall back on whenever necessary.

You clicked your fingers when the idea sprung to mind, and with a determined pep in your step, you walked off.

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"You were on a roll that day, weren't you? First the help sign, then the idea of the water instalment. Are you certain you weren't planning on staying there?" Agent Young's joke didn't quite reach you the way he had intended to.

"Water is always important. I wanted to get it done and up and running before we would run out of the soda cans. Just to be sure. I didn't want us to come to any surprises later on. For all I knew, the authorities might not have known our location yet. Our rescue could have happened within a day, a week, weeks.... months." You mumbled out the last word.

"That's pretty tactical thinking. Wise and responsible, too."

"Yeah, well, it's been ingrained in me to think that way. There's no space to fool around in a situation like that, in no situation, actually."

"So you never... let go? Pulled some mischief? Ignored the rules?"

"Alright, cut the bullshit. I know you've read my file which basically contains every dirty detail about my life. You were bound to find out anyway but just-"

"Hey, hey-" Faber smiled and lifted his hands, "No reason to panic. That's not our department and not what we're here for so those files stay out of our reach. We're not here to talk about your life before the island. Unless it involves whatever happened on the island."

"Does it...?" Young spoke softly, carefully gaging your reaction,

"Have to do with your behaviour on the island?"

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Shelby sauntered over, her curiosity getting the best of her, "Where is Y/N off to?"

Fatin had already gone back to tanning so she lifted her sunnies only slightly, and sighed when she saw it was Shelby, "Why don't you ask her yourself? She doesn't bite."

"It was just a question. A simple yes or no would've sufficed." Shelby rolled her eyes at the slight annoyance in Fatin's voice, "Shouldn't she be resting?"

"She should. But I don't think she likes to be told what to do."

"Right." Shelby nodded and played with her hands, contemplating her next move, "Um, what did you two talk about?"

"Nothing important, just some jibber-jabber."

Shelby invited herself to sit down on the sand, making Fatin quirk an eyebrow.

"Y/N she... she's a good egg, isn't she? I mean, she seemed a little closed off at first... she still has her moments, I guess, but she... she really made an effort with that help sign. Which was, like, so impressive."

Fatin let out a dry laugh and eased herself up on her elbows. She was curious as to where this was going, "Mhm. Sure."

"She seems to take a liking to you. And um, you... to her."

"Oh...no, sweetie-" Fatin gave Shelby a look, "-please don't be doing what I think you're doing right now."

"Which is?" Shelby looked quizzical.

Fatin removed her sunnies, "Just because she likes girls and because you found out through a silly game that I've slept with girls doesn't give you the permission to try and play matchmaker here."

The look on Shelby's face was priceless. She gaped like a fish and her eyebrows almost reached up to her hairline.

"No! I don't- I never-"

"Newsflash for you- girls can be friends with guys without hopping onto their dicks and so can girls who like girls."

"You clearly misunderstood me." Shelby pursed her lips, annoyed now.

"Then what was the whole point of you bringing her up? I'd almost think that you like her." Fatin played it off as a joke, huffed and stood up to find a more peaceful place.

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"Where's the axe?"

"Y/N took it." Rachel pointed behind her, towards the woods, where the sound of hacking could be heard.

Dot shook her head in disbelief, "The hell, I told her to preserve energy."

"Well, she's making us some water-thing. I've honestly got no clue." Toni mindlessly flicked another pebble into the water. Martha watched the clouds in the sky to see which forms they would take on. Leah was, still, nose deep into her book.

"And you're not helping her, because...?"

"'Cause she told us not to." Rachel shrugged, "And because it's pretty pointless to be wasting energy on something that will become useless once we get picked off the island soon."

"Having fresh water is never useless. It's literally step one of survival." Dot sighed before making her way into the woods.

Her steps crunched the dried up leaves underneath her feet, but you were so focused on the task at hand that that sound got lost on your ears.

"Whatcha doing there?"

Her voice startled you and you turned around in an instant. You swung the axe around and Dot jumped back,

"Woah there⁠— careful with that," She eyed the four logs by your feet, "Need some help?"

You wiped the sweat off your forehead with your arm, "I don't mind having help carrying everything back towards the beach." Your breath heaved and if you hadn't been feeling lightheaded, you would've walked a hundred times back and forth if you needed to, on your own, with no help. Help came with consequences. You'd always owe a favour to the one who'd helped you and you could never be certain what they would ask of you. But this time, you said yes. Although it had only been a couple of days, your gut feeling said Dot was one to be trusted. She had gone out of her way to take care of the group multiple times already. And you doing this, right now, was a way to repay that favour. To show her your thanks and to provide for the group so you wouldn't have to worry about having a disadvantage when it came to the whole helping out part. You had already done so with the help sign, but it hadn't felt enough for the success of your survival.

By the time you two got to the beach, you dropped into the sand next to the pile of thick logs. Nora approached slowly,

"I think this is what you meant, right?"

She showed you a page of her notebook where she had drawn what you had vaguely explained to her.

You perked up, "Yes! That's it! Thanks!" After inspecting the page for a few seconds, you went to work. You grabbed a stick and gouged the sand, digging deeper and deeper until you were sure that the depth would keep the logs stable enough. Four logs were placed in a square. Now the real challenge would start.

"Wait- hold on," Dot stopped you, "Are you going to use the whole emergency slide?"

"Yeah, I was planning to. Why?"

"Well, we might need some of it for other uses. Carry stuff, block out the wind, and keep us dry in a rainstorm... Hey, but don't you think it'll be too heavy on the logs with the added weight of the water? It won't work, I'm afraid."

Nora opened and closed her mouth, contemplating whether to keep her comment to herself or not. Dot was right, it would get too heavy, the plane's emergency slide was already way too heavy on itself, but you had worked yourself to exhaustion and she didn't have it in her to ruin your mood. Besides, your outburst on day one, right after your arrival, had still somewhat left her feeling intimidated by you. She knew you had it in you to catch fire, quickly, and she hated how she didn't know what would set you off.

"It will work, you'll see." You sounded hopeful, too hopeful, as if you needed to convince yourself. You had promised the group something, but what if it wouldn't work, just like Dot had said? What would that make you? A failure? A disappointment? Would you not be liked by them anymore? Would you make true to your reputation? Failure, vermin, bad harvest, not worth it...

It would work. It had to. You had made a promise and you never liked breaking those.

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Flocks of young children swarmed out of the doors like ants running back to their colony, only in their case, they all ran back into their parent's arms after a day at school. You impatiently bit your nail as you scanned their faces, hoping Riley wouldn't stay back too long so that you wouldn't be even later for your new job.

Eventually, the familiar purple of the jacket you had thrift shopped, caught your attention. Her tiny ponytail bounced as she skidded over to you, immediately burying her face in your stomach when she was close.

"I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" You let her jump on your back. She played with the strands of your hair and you felt her feet dangle beside you. Her heels kicked your side every so slightly with each step.

"Did you have a fun day, Riles?"

"Yeah, we're making presents for Mother's Day!"

"Oh!" You tried to sound enthusiastic but felt your heart ache at the realisation she would be one of the few kids to not be able to give it to their moms.

She didn't seem to mind and squirmed on your back, "Get up!"

You laughed, realising she had probably meant to say 'giddy up', and picked up your pace as you galloped back to the car.

Her tiny face contorted in confusion when you passed the park on your drive back, and she softly tugged at the hem of your shirt from the backseat,

"No park and ice creams?"

"Not today, Riles, I have to work."

"But it's Friday." You quickly glanced back and saw the disappointed look on her face, she was close to crying.

"I know, I'm so sorry, but I really have to do this so that we can get a million ice creams another time! Promise?" Your mouth tasted foul when you spoke the word.

"But I missed you," She let out a dry sob.

"Riley," You cleared your throat, hating that you had to use your authoritative voice, but knowing it was needed, "I'm going to drop you off at Aunty Simone's and I'll give her some money so that you can get an ice cream together, okay?"

Aunty Simone was the name you used for one of the ladies in your street. She wasn't related, not by blood. She was a widow and had never been able to get children and therefore loved each child in the street. You didn't know any better than to have called her Aunty, and perhaps to you she really was. She was younger than your grandparents and always willing to help out, especially with Riley, whenever needed.

But Riley hated to be pushed aside. Although her tiny brain couldn't comprehend what was happening back at home yet, she was right about what she felt sometimes. She felt shepherded away whenever she had to go to Simone again. It made her feel ignored and that would frustrate her to no end. It had caused her to throw tantrums more than once.

"But I want to go with you!"

"I have to work. I'll be back to kiss you goodnight."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

Letting out a grunt by the third time one of the corners of the slide slipped off the top of the log sticking out of the sand, Dot couldn't help but ignore your previous request to not help you out. She grabbed an end of the slide and started to try and pull it over.

"You should've probably stuck with just selling Scout cookies, eh? Since this seems a lot of trouble." She tried to lighten the mood but you silenced her with a glare.

"For fuck's sake-" You muttered under your breath, leaning backwards to pull your part of the slide over the log with all your might, "I can't believe I always complained about changing the sheets, this is way worse."

"I love your thinking, the idea is great-" Dot grunted but smiled when she managed to pull it over, "-but how about we also dig a crater in the middle? So that in the case it does collapse, we'll have our own kind of well?"

Your face dripped of sweat when you looked at her. She had a point, you had to give her that. A curt nod was sent her way before you climbed underneath the tarp of the slide and started to dig, with your hands. It was bloody hot under the fabric, but if you wouldn't be done before dawn when the rain would return, you'd have to wait another day.

"Guys? A little help, please?"

The girls trudged over, some more begrudgingly than others. Martha dropped down in the sand next to Fatin, her ankle still keeping her from putting weight on it.

Dot's eyes flashed over Fatin, who propped herself up on her elbows and watched you all start to dig,

"Martha and I will supervise and cheer you on."

"Sure, you do that." Dot rolled her eyes.

But Shelby wasn't having it, "Um, why aren't you helping?"

Fatin opened her eyes when someone threw a shade over her. Shelby stood above her, her hands on her hips.

"Because I'm exhausted and not in for building some sandcastles."

"Aren't we all?" Shelby shot back.

"Well- my nails-"

Shelby wiggled her own perfectly manicured nails around and gave her a sarcastic, tight-lipped smile. It was clear that that could not be used as an excuse.

"I'm just saying- instead of playing around, you could also consider helping? You know, it would be good to contribute to the group. And, we're getting something for it in return⁠— drinkable water and who knows, you might make some new friends. What do you say?"

"Yeah, no- I'm good on both." Fatin raised her can of La Croix, took a quick sip and let out a content sigh.

With a tired huff, Shelby turned on her heel to help the rest.

A hole about knee-deep stared back at them half an hour later. At last, you stood back and wiped the sweat from your forehead.

"This better work," Leah muttered, exhausted from the digging.

"It will!" You reassured her.

"I mean, it's not how it's usually done, but we definitely gave it our own spin, with the things we had at hand." Nora smiled.

"I'm going back in time... playing soccer in the blaring Texas heat." Dot wiped at her face.

Shelby nodded, "Minus the orange slices and juice boxes afterwards."

"Let's see what our supervisors think of it- Hey! Fatin, Martha-" You turned to them, "Whaddya say?"

Martha clapped and pretended to throw a paddle up in the air, "10!"

"Miss Jadmani?"

Fatin made an act of removing her sunglasses and walked over, taking her time to inspect the thing. She feigned a prissy and posh voice, "Hm, interesting, questionable choice but..." She cracked a smile, "I'm kidding, looks great to me."

"Next time you're helping." You shot her a playful grin.

"Yeah, I like you, but don't push your luck now."

"Well, I say we go back to the cave, cool off, hydrate and get some food into our system." Dot addressed the group, and led the way back.

You stayed back, making sure Fatin wasn't completely alone since she seemed to have trouble keeping up in the sand. But Shelby did the same, for you, and soon she was walking beside you.

"Hey, so, I might not have shown my gratitude before, but I'm thankful you took the initiative and came up with the idea," She dared to put a hand on your shoulder.

You looked at it, and for a split second she thought you would shrug it off, but you didn't. Not wanting to push her luck or cross any boundaries again, she decided to retract her hand after a few seconds.

"Are you all right?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Um, because you worked yourself to exhaustion today. First the help sign, now this? I barely did anything and I'm already feeling it. Do you have enough to drink because I don't mind sharing mine?" She offered you her diet coke, and although you felt your throat ache and scream to take it from her hands, you knew it wasn't yours to take. You should've rationed better, or paid better attention to preserving energy so that you wouldn't have sweat so much.

"It's no problem." She pressed when she saw the conflict in your eyes, "Here- take it. I don't mind sharing with you."

"Shelby, it's yours. I don't want to take something that-"

"The Lord taught us to share. You helped us out big time today so take it."

"I really don't-"

"Take it! Damn it! I can see you want it!" She pushed the soda can against your chest, some coke splashing over the lid and onto your shirt and her hands.

"You just spilt a morning's sip."

Shelby couldn't help it, but the way you said it made her laugh.

"What?!"

"Sorry. You just- never mind. Sorry-" She apologised again and dabbed at your shirt, at the little spot that was starting to form.

You blinked owlishly and watched her dab at your stomach, then gently pushed her hand away, "No worries. It's already filled with mud and sand."

"And there's a whole suitcase of clothing to pick from should you want a new shirt!" Fatin yelled from somewhere behind you, her voice indicating that she was struggling to climb up the path. And... that she had listened.

Shelby scratched her neck and bit her lip when Fatin joined the conversation. It was hard to keep trying to open herself up around you, to have you open up to her, when there was always someone else hovering close. A look that lasted too long could already be her downfall. And someone walking by too close could already cause you to close yourself off again.

"Don't mind me!" Fatin spoke, out of breath, immediately catching on to Shelby's uneasiness.

Only Shelby did. She did mind Fatin. At least, she was really starting to.

The three of you walked in silence for a beat until Shelby dared to open her mouth again,

"I... um- I like your bracelet," Shelby whispered out and pointed at your hand, where all kinds of colourful beads decorated your wrist in a random pattern. But it was the name spelt on the beads that made her smile.

Your fingers started playing with the beads again, absentmindedly, "Thanks." You whispered out just as quietly, sharing Shelby's decision of not wanting anyone on the island to find out about the two of you and the fact you knew each other. You didn't even know where the two of you stood as of right now so why should they even know?

"I still have the picture of the drawing she made me."

"Really?" You fell silent and stopped walking, not realising it had meant that much to her.

She nodded bashfully and stopped beside you.

"Okay, now I feel left out." Was heard from behind you again, when Fatin could no longer eavesdrop.

Shelby and you exchanged a playful look when Fatin pulled herself up as gracefully as she could with one of the branches, to higher ground.

"Vama-fucking-nos-" She breathed out and passed the two of you, her hairline damp from sweat.

"Don't you love how this group activity is making us bond?" Shelby laughed, wanting to take the piss with her. And she knew she had done just that when Fatin flipped her off.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

"Once upon a time.... nine girls washed up onto a shore... completely unaware of what was waiting for them on the island..." Leah started, putting on a creepy voice, "But what they didn't know.... was that they weren't alone."

"Dun dun dun." Dot added.

They all laughed, scooching closer to the campfire to keep warm.

"Wait- I'm fine with a horror story as long as you don't make it too realistic." Martha seemed to feel bad about potentially ruining the fun, but Nora soon piped up,

"Yeah... I'm not so sure I like where this is going either."

"Martha, dear, us being here is far from realistic. Yet here we are. Sit back and enjoy the ride." Fatin tried.

Toni shook her head and pulled Martha closer, "If Marty says she doesn't like it then she doesn't like it."

"All right, all right, I'll make it more unrealistic." Leah spoke and cleared her throat, "They weren't alone. They were being watched!"

"By a dangerous animal?" Martha quipped, growing uneasy.

"Far worse!"

"What?"

Everyone leaned in when Leah stalled an answer.

"By an all-knowing speaking parrot."

The girls groaned.

Fatin threw her hands up, "Okay, now you've ruined it."

Nora smiled in relief that the story had taken another turn. Her eyes flashed across Rachel, who was still doing workouts on the other side of the circle.

You had kept quiet so far, and had enjoyed seeing everyone relax a bit. But what you enjoyed more, how ridiculous as it sounded, was to finally sit with other girls your age. To laugh, to joke, to chat. You didn't care what about. But it felt good, to be a part of something, to feel accepted, to feel like a normal teenage girl. If you squinted your eyes, you could almost imagine that you weren't sitting on the cold and hard ground of the cave, but perhaps on a bed during a sleepover.

You looked up, your eyes following Shelby's move as she went to sit down next to you. She left plenty of space between the two of you, unsure if you even wanted her near.

"Here." She handed you a quarter of a salty pretzel, still from the plane.

"O-Oh, thank you."

She leaned in to whisper in your ear, playfully, "You also never took that sip."

"My shirt did."

She rolled her eyes to try and play it off, but secretly she was screaming on the inside now that she sat so close to you. Now that you let her. It almost felt like the time she had imagined you to sit next to her during that sunset. But the sun had already gone down long ago.

"Who wants to cuddle with Marcus now?" Martha asked, adjusting his visor.

Fatin's hand shot up, "Oh! Me! Me!" She turned to you, a smirk on her face, "Unless you're willing to keep me close tonight?"

Immediately, the blush on Shelby's cheeks was gone, for Fatin had once again ruined a moment.

"Find another volunteer." You laughed and shook your head.

"Oh, but put him on his right or he tends to snore real loud." Martha joked as the mannequin was given around the circle until it landed with Fatin.

"On a second thought- Leah!" Fatin placed Marcus in between the two of them, "You should have him tonight! Spoiler— he won't seduce teenage girls during his midlife crisis." She whispered the last part, but it was loud enough for the rest to hear.

"Fuck off!" Leah jumped to her feet and stormed out of the cave.

"Hey? The hell? I wanted to hear the rest of the story." Dot complained.

Rachel shook her head in annoyance, finally done with her workouts.

"You all act like children sometimes."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I'm afraid of growing up." Martha's voice was small.

"Me too."

"Yeah, it's happening so fast all of a sudden."

"It's not fun, but sometimes it's necessary." You quickly pushed a piece of pretzel into your mouth.

"I'll drink to that." Dot nodded.

The circle fell quiet.

Then Martha spoke up again, worried, this time, "What if someone really is on the island with us?"

"It better be someone with food." Toni threw her empty granola wrapper aside.

"What if it's someone who wants to turn us into food?" You made a face, relieved that it got Martha to laugh. You didn't notice, but Shelby's eyes were fixated on the side of your face, and she smiled. Brightly.

"You've all watched too much TV." Rachel shook her head and eased up.

"Actually, there are lots of books of deserted island stories. There's this one... it's called Lord of the Flies. It's about a group of young boys getting stranded." Nora played with the edges of her notebook.

"Who was watching them?"

"Well, no one..."

"Is the story similar to ours?"

Nora let out a breathy chuckle, "I sure hope not."

"Hey, but if Leah's not interested in Marcus, then he's yours tonight." The mannequin was shoved in front of you.

"What? Why? I don't want him?"

"I know he's maybe not your usual type, but it might help you get over that asshole of a girlfriend of yours." Fatin shrugged.

Shelby's smile faltered and she turned to nervously play with her necklace again. You snuck a quick glance her way to gauge her reaction. Now you just hoped she'd know that you wouldn't tell Fatin any other details besides you getting your heart broken.

"Um... Martha! Let's pass it back to you. He's your date, anyway. And if you get scared tonight he'll be there!" You scurried to her and placed Marcus next to Martha again.

"What? He creeps me out." You shrugged innocently.

"Are it his abs? Yeah, they make me uncomfortable, too." Toni spoke.

"Oh, how the tables would turn if Marcus was a Maya."

"Maya? What about Maisie?"

And so the chatter commenced, eventually dying down when each girl started to get too tired to keep the conversation going.

You were curled up on your side, your back facing the fire, feeling too exposed if people could watch you sleep. A blanket was thrown over you, you figured it was one of the Dawn of Eve's ones that had washed up, and you figured it was Fatin again. A tired but content smile was glued to your face while your eyes fell shut.

Shelby sat beside you, hugging her knees close to her chest. She shivered slightly but felt more at ease knowing she had at least done her best to keep you warm tonight.

Bats flew in and out, their sounds already having become white noise in the background, along with the distant lapping of the waves. She looked at you once more. This was different from the times she had watched you fall asleep on her screen, that much was clear. Apparently, you didn't feel that comfortable around her anymore, seeing as your back was faced to her.

She felt her heart flutter and sink at the same time, if that was even possible. She'd dreamed of having you close, in real life, face to face. But now that she had that, she didn't have you. Finally, she laid down as well, forcing herself to fall asleep.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

Small hands touched your face and pried the duvet off you. Someone tried her best to keep her giggles to herself, but she failed miserably.

"Good morning!"

You opened one eye, then the other immediately after when Riley's face was up-close. She was wearing a Santa hat that she kept pushing up each time it fell over her eyes.

"Why are you wearing that? It's June." You wiped your eyes and chuckled tiredly.

"I love Christmas." She shrugged.

Your eyes shifted to the alarm clock, which read 3.45am.

"Riley, it's the middle of the night." You opened the covers, an invitation for her to crawl against you. She accepted.

"But you're going away today and I don't want to miss you."

Your heart ached at the realisation she was basically stalling time and wanted to spend every last hour with you before your departure to Hawaii.

"Good thing I'll be back next week, so you don't have to miss me that long!"

"Really? When?"

You told her again, realising the first time she had probably been too busy having tea time with her stuffed animals to pay attention to your boring grown-up announcement.

She started to play with your fingers. With your arm tightly wrapped around her tiny body, you started to lull her to sleep.

"There'll be beaches... endless open ocean, tropical birds...it's gonna be very sunny and warm! Oh! And many shells on the shore!"

"Will there be mermaids?"

"Maybe, who knows."

"They're really pretty but you have to watch out because some of them might be mean and drown you."

"Who told you that?"

"Pirates of the Carebears." She merely shrugged and snuggled into your chest, not realising she had botched up the name.

"Who let you watch that?"

"Grandpops."

A soft sigh left your lips, realising you couldn't blame the man.

"Will you get me a present?"

"Of course, I'll get you a present." You reassured and laughed and squeezed her tighter, making her squeal. You eased your grip and felt yourself start to doze off again. Right before you did, her tiny hand squeezed yours and clawed at your shirt.

"Back next week?"

You hummed, too tired to speak. But when she squeezed again, you knew that wouldn't suffice as an answer.

"Promise?"

"Promise. I'll be back before you know it."

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

One shake. Another one, softer, this time. As if the person shaking you was unsure if she wanted you to wake. But when another followed, along with your name in a hushed whisper, you opened your eyes.

"It's raining!" Someone whispered into your ear, barely able to contain her excitement.

The sound of rain had woken Shelby from her slumber. Although, she hadn't been in a deep sleep to begin with. Falling asleep had been anything but easy, with you so close, but with so much distance between you. She had rubbed the sleep from her eyes and remembered fragments of a dream in which you had wrapped your arms around her. She had felt safe, on the bed next to you, while the two of you gazed into each other's eyes and no word was spoken. She had trapped a falling lock of hair behind your ear. Then you had snuck in a kiss on her wrist. She had smiled. Oh, she had smiled. Then she had woken up.

As soon as the pitter-patter of the drizzle had started, she had walked to the entrance of the cave and turned to the early morning sky, a prayer leaving her mouth.

You perked up immediately and ran out to go see it for yourself. The rain had turned to a soft drizzle again so you ran back and grabbed the empty soda cans.

"What are you doing?"

"Going out there!"

"Wait- Y/N, it's too-" Shelby cursed under her breath, knowing you weren't to be stopped and followed you all the way down to the beach. The trek down had been slippery and her reasoning had fallen on deaf ears, you had stuck to your guns. But once at the beach, you knew you had made the right call.

An ecstatic laugh left your lips and you turned around, the widest grin ever plastered on your face.

"It worked, Shelby! It worked!"

You immediately started to fill some cans with the water that was now resting on the tarp of the slide.

Although wet from the soft rain and tired because of the lack of sleep, Shelby couldn't help but smile just as bright at seeing the child-like glee on your face.

"I knew it would!" You turned to the sky and opened your mouth, letting droplets of water fall and dance onto your tongue. Pulling her towards you, you gestured for her to jump around with you, like some silly made-up water-summoning dance.

Shelby laughed like she hadn't in a long time, her hand intertwined with yours as the two of you completely forgot about everything that had happened, on the island, between the two of you, and back home. You forgot about anything else but the water. It hadn't been long ago when you had all cursed the skies for opening up, but now you celebrated.

A big crack sounded from behind you, and you turned around, seeing one log had collapsed. Another one started to drift away in the sand and soon, the whole emergency slide, including the water it had saved, fell into the pit you had all dug. The water sloshed around and fell beside the tarp, now mixing together with the sand, causing the well to collapse and be filled with muddy sand.

"No..." You muttered, "No, I-"

Shelby made a move to pull you back, but you dove forward to save whatever could be saved.

"Y/N, it's broken. It's all mixed with sand. Let's try again another time."

She pulled again, "I'm getting cold. This is not worth getting sick over." She tried to reason with you.

"No! I promised!" A sob left your mouth.

"I promised!" You groaned out while putting all your weight into pulling one of the slide ends back over a log, "I fucking promised!"

That's when Shelby realised there was more to this than just the failure of the water installation.

"Y/N/N-" You swatted the hand away that landed on your shoulder. The sand was cold when your knees fell into it. Your hands idle beside you as you watched the sand around the well fall into the pit. It bubbled.

You turned around, your eyes red. "They'll wake up and expect fresh water and there won't be anything! Because of me! Because I had the great fucking idea that I should have known wouldn't work!"

Shelby knelt down beside you, at a loss for words. This island brought out a side of you she never knew you had, or perhaps she never got to know. But maybe this despair in your eyes had developed after she had left.

"Oh God, Riley-" You buried your face in your hands. Your body shook with sobs. Shelby felt her own throat tighten. She grabbed your arms and pulled your back into her, trying to console you.

"I promised I'd be back soon. I told her I'd come back. I left her. I left her and she has no clue that I'm here. She thinks... she might think I left her too and-" You sniffled as a tear rolled down your cheek and plopped into the sand. You wiped your eyes so quickly, it was like it didn't happen.

"-She'll understand. This isn't your fault." Her cheek pressed against your head, "We'll get through this together." The familiar mantra made you feel even worse.

"You don't get it!" You stood up, within a split second, "This is exactly my fault! I put myself here! With my stupid actions! I broke my fucking promise. It's my own fucking fault I'm on this island right now!"

"Y/N, let's not-"

Your hands were shaking, from adrenaline and the cold, as you fumbled with the zipper of your pocket. You felt it coming. It was long overdue. How could you have fooled yourself after days on this island? Your skin itched again and you weren't so sure the sand was at fault for this one. Your face felt hot, the cold rain certainly wasn't to blame for that one. Not to talk about your breathing, which was all over the place. All the telltale signs were there.

"Hey, hey, hey- what are you doing?" Shelby watched as you fumbled with the strip of pills, "What are those? How did you get- Does Dottie know you took those?!"

She made a move to snatch the unknown medication out of your hands. She didn't trust you when you were like this. Good, she shouldn't. You weren't yourself, not your best version anyway.

"Did you- Did you steal those from the medication bag, Y/N?"

"Finders keepers." Was all the explanation she received.

She slapped your hand away, along with the pill when you were about to put it into your mouth.

"Don't!"

"What the fuck, Shelby?" You stood panting. Your nose ran and you wiped it on your arm. That was one pill perfectly capable of calming you down which she had just thrown away, somewhere into the wet sand where it was no doubt already getting washed away.

"Exactly! You need to put those pills back. You don't need them, whatever they're even for." She pointed a finger at you.

"How the fuck could you even know if I need-"

"What's going on?"

The two of you turned around instantly, like two deer caught in headlights. Leah emerged from the shadows of the dense forest, and that's when you, embarrassingly so, realised you had almost forgotten she had left the cave.

Shelby flailed her arm around, in a foolish attempt to not look too caught, "I'm afraid we won't have any water."

"I see." Leah's eyes shifted between you two, then to the hands behind your back, where you had a death grip on the strip of pills so that you wouldn't lose another one.

"Are you all right?" Shelby smiled a beauty pageant worthy smile, doing her best to shift the attention away from the situation.

"Um, yeah, just- your screaming got my attention." Leah tilted her head, playing along.

"Were you sleeping? Out here? Alone? Whew, that is some badass....ness.... right there!" Shelby tried her best, but even you had to admit that she was really making things worse now.

"Not really... I was more, like, brooding. Wait- why were you out here so early anyway?" Leah pressed.

"To get things done before the sun comes out. And to check on this thing here to see if it had worked. But, unfortunately... you see..." Shelby continued, the words flowed easily as if she'd had weeks to prepare for this speech. But her voice wavered and betrayed her.

Leah eyed the two of you, knowing there was more to the story, but decided to let it go for now.

"So... I suppose Fatin told you all about my flighty romance by now?" Within a split second, Leah lost the upper hand of the conversation when her curiosity got the best of her. She bit her lip, a nervous habit.

"We didn't talk about you after you left, like, at all." Shelby winced at how harsh her own words had sounded. She still felt too overwhelmed with everything that had just happened to be truly present in the moment.

"Gee, thanks. Okay."

Shelby immediately waved her hands around, "Not that we weren't worried about you, we just-"

"-Fatin didn't blab. Don't worry."

"Got it." Leah nodded.

You followed Leah as she walked off the beach, most likely back to the cave to where the others were probably waking up. You didn't miss the look Shelby gave you, or how she watched you hide the pills back in your pocket. There was no denying that you had once again, majorly, slipped up. Had let her console you, let her see you during your weakest moment. And there was no denying that she would soon bring up what had just happened as soon as she found the right moment.

☾ ⋆*·ﾟ:⋆*·ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:·ﾟ .: ⋆*·ﾟ: .⋆

#shelby goodkind one shot #shelby goodkind imagine #shelby goodkind x reader #the wilds one shot #the wilds imagines #the wilds imagine #the wilds x reader

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melmac78 · 3 years ago

Text

Well I’ve got some chills and a mild fever so I’m going to have to call off working on the pendant today. (Don’t think omicron…. I’ve been exposed to a lot of elements and a longer gin season which affects me)

That said: I have these triangles (2 of each as they were on deep clearance… seriously I got about $400 worth of these for $35 I think total)

I’m leaning toward the right volcano one with whatever Bicone pieces I have with silver hex nuts for tomorrow.

The liquid gold on left I’ve thought about a mix of silver and gold hex nuts and some other beads.

I did a search on hex nut jewelry… bracelets rather popular. I’m one of the few pendant workers though.

••••••

By the way, this is Kali today, two weeks post vet visit . I think she’s gaining a little bit of weight, her fur looks much better snd she’s more curious.

Still loving… though she does fight the medicine sometimes. But she’s adapting to it: even if for a small treat if she behaves both times.

Since I can’t art… I may be googling Takeshi’s Castle to see if I can find an original run. We just get the MXC dubbed version… 🤨

#melmac78 observation #jewelrymaking fun

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gemstonesworldwideblog · 3 years ago

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2 notes · View notes

hongssami · 4 years ago

Note

i have thought long and hard, and i am going to go with a fluffy cow :D because they are cute :D also, in terms of accessories/clothes, i tend to wear dark tshirts and i always have three bracelets on: two pony bead ones on my right wrist (one says skz, one says chan) and one on my left wrist (its got black volcano rock (?) beads and a lil turquoise sea turtle) okay that was all v specific, u dont have to get that specific if u dont wanna :DD (alsooo this is super cool and ily) 💞💞💞💞

blue ily !!!!! thank u for Taking Your Time to Think about this, my heart is so full and i will be making this right away !!!!!!!! <3 <3

#i'll be posting the skzoo-sonas tomorrow tho ;v;#i hope that's fine aaaaa #Noots #n: blue

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themurphyzone · 3 years ago

Text

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Oneshot: Starlight

So this was the prologue to a multichapter PMD fic that will never be written, though I spent quite a bit of time creating the characters. This oneshot was sitting on my computer for several months, I just thought I’d share this with the Internet.

Summary: A lonely rich girl named Luna has been best friends with Penny the Meowth for years. But when Luna receives a series of strange dreams, she makes a decision that will change their lives forever.

AO3 Link

Penny nuzzled her human’s cheek, mewing helplessly as Luna succumbed to another nightmare. Not for the first time, she wished she could learn Dream Eater so she could take away the pain, the torment, the guilt that persisted in Luna’s eyes during the day.

Her human cried out, almost flinging Penny off her chest as she rolled onto her side and curled into a tiny ball. Her entire body was wracked with tension, and Penny stifled the instinctive rumble building in her throat.

Purring didn’t work. Luna would just think Penny was another Meowth crying for help. Purring was supposed to bring comfort, but now it just added to Luna’s stress.

Penny didn’t understand what brought the nightmares, nor was she privy to the content. Luna was tight-lipped and quiet on her best days, though Penny could easily bring out a giggle or two if she just batted a Poké Ball around.

If she listened too closely, she heard whispers of catastrophic floods, devastating earthquakes, and the faraway pleas of countless Pokémon who didn’t understand why their world was being torn asunder.

“I’m sorry…” Luna whimpered, a bead of sweat trickling down her forehead. “I don’t understand…”

Penny unsheathed her claws, lightly tracing the tips against Luna’s arm. Not hard to enough bleed, but just so Luna could feel the pricks and come back to reality. She left light, barely visible trails across Luna’s skin, withdrawing as Luna’s chest gave a sudden heave. Then Luna broke into a coughing fit, catapulting into a sitting position. A pillow and Clefairy doll fell from the bed, landing on the carpeted floor with a muffled thump.

Through a thin sliver of light in the bedroom, Penny saw the terror turn to relief in Luna’s eyes. Luna sighed, her breath hitching as she slumped forward and pressed her head against her knees, face hidden through a curtain of dark hair.

Penny retrieved the Clefairy doll and pressed it into Luna’s side.

“Thanks,” Luna whispered. She placed the doll in her lap and scratched behind Penny’s ear.

Penny released the purr she’d held back, resting her head on top of Luna’s other hand. Focusing on the vibrations of her throat, she tried to imagine a calming wave flowing into her human, though she didn’t know any healing moves.

Eventually, Luna’s breathing evened out. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, sitting at the edge for a brief moment before standing up, the Clefairy doll clutched tightly in her arms.

Without a word, Luna crossed the length of her enormous bedroom and flung the curtains open, allowing more moonlight to filter in. Then she settled against the cushioned windowsill and stared out into the night sky.

Penny jumped onto the windowsill, nudging the Clefairy doll aside so there was room for both of them on Luna’s lap.

“She doesn’t make sense,” Luna murmured. “A role to play…it means something, but I don’t get it. What role can I play when I’m locked in here?”

Penny bristled, hissing in frustration at the reminder of being a secret companion for a secret girl. Luna’s parents were important figures in some organization Penny didn’t care to remember the name of. Luna was unknown by the world beyond the manor grounds. And while Penny was allowed to stay in the manor, she knew Luna’s parents viewed her as a means to keep Luna compliant and out of the way.

Her parents certainly didn’t expect Penny and Luna to bond so quickly, but as long as Luna never expressed a desire to explore the world, they wouldn’t complain.

Luna loved stars and legends and Pokémon.

But she never experienced them for herself when so many others could. She was stuck with books, television, and the stars she could see from her windowsill.

Luna opened the window and a gentle wind blew into the room, chasing away the stifled air.

“The stars are so beautiful, Penny. See that cluster next to the moon? We have a clear view of the Perished Ones tonight,” Luna said, pointing to a group of stars that held some sort of pattern to her, but none to Penny. A breeze gently blew strands of long hair away from Luna’s face.

Her eyes sparkled, holding no traces of the haunted look she’d wandered around with for the past month.

A Meowth’s instincts were drawn to sparkling things, to hoard them and never let them go, and Penny was no exception. She held Luna’s gaze, waiting for her to continue.

“Long ago, a tower was struck by lightning and caught fire, which was then quelled with a cleansing rain. But not before three Pokémon perished in the flames. Ho-Oh revived them with his sacred ashes, and they were reborn as Beasts who roam the land. It’s said that Ho-Oh gave the remnants of the Beasts’ old lives to a deity with power over the stars, and she hung them in the night sky as a reminder of that fateful night. The trio of constellations became known as the Perished Ones.”

It was the most she’d said in a month.

Luna rested her head against her knees again. The contemplative look returned.

“Ho-Oh gave them new roles,” Luna whispered. “He cleansed their spirits and bodies so they could rule over lightning, volcanoes, and the north wind with no regrets.”

Though Penny only considered it a legend, it was clear that Luna was putting much more thought into the story than was necessary. She mewed in displeasure, pawing at Luna’s face so she would focus on petting the itchy spot that Penny could never reach no matter how much she twisted while grooming.

Luna gave a tiny smile, scratching Penny’s back until she fell asleep once more.

They slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

o-o-o-o-o

For once, Luna’s parents were home. But since they preferred to be left undisturbed by both staff and daughter unless there was an emergency, Penny and Luna rarely saw them. Because they had a reputation for firing staff for the slightest indiscretions and hammering them with lawsuits if they talked, nobody was keen on facing her parents’ wrath.

Until now.

Out of self-preservation, Penny did everything she could to dissuade Luna from an audience with her parents. Just as she was debating the pros and cons of knocking her human down and sitting on her until she got the message, Luna crossed the high archway that marked the parlor entrance and stood in front of the Master and Mistress of the Silano household.

Penny swallowed, but padded onto the expensive Kalosian rug that nobody was ever allowed on and wound her tail around Luna’s legs for moral support. Luna glanced down for the briefest moment, then returned her attention to her parents, who were still discussing some trivial matter.

“-Mr. A wants more funding towards the research department. Their top scientist believes he’s found a faster method that will boost a captured Pokémon’s power a hundredfold,” Master Silano explained with a long-suffering sigh, though Penny couldn’t tell if it was directed at Luna or his wife.

“About time,” Mistress Silano said, her manicured nails tapping at the couch impatiently. “He should’ve improved the field equipment a long time ago. Why waste time on common Caterpie when they could have the power of a Legendary?”

“You know he wants to maintain his reputation, Catherine,” Master Silano said. “It’s better to keep these sorts of activities under the radar.”

They ignored their daughter completely, and Penny knew Luna was having second and possibly third thoughts about her plan.

Luna stiffened, but she balled her fists and forced the words out of her throat. “Mother. Father. I’m interested in getting a Drowzee. I’ve been doing some research, and-“

Mistress Silano huffed. “A Drowzee! As if that mangy furball wasn’t enough for you!”

She glared at Penny as if offended by her very existence. But Penny lifted her chin defiantly, refusing to be cowed. After all, she was a prideful Meowth, loyal to those who earned her trust and uncaring about those who didn’t.

“Mother, please.” Luna’s voice quivered. Penny’s tail tightened around Luna’s legs. “I’ve done some research. Drowzee can sense and eat people’s dreams. They can even project the eaten dreams to anyone they trust. It…would be interesting.”

Penny disliked the Drowzee idea, but for Luna’s sake she kept the bouts of jealousy to herself. They both knew Dream Eater was their best shot at understanding the nightmares, but Penny wished that didn’t involve getting another Pokémon since she was meant to be Luna’s constant companion.

“We allowed you to keep that stray Meowth as long as you took responsibility for it. You don’t need another Pokémon.” Master Silano didn’t look up from the stack of papers. “You will not be gallivanting around Kanto doing whatever you want. One Meowth is sufficient for your needs.”

“I’m…I’m only asking for a Drowzee,” Luna said. She tried to copy Penny’s haughty act, but couldn’t keep her head up under Mistress Silano’s scrutiny. “Nothing more.”

“You heard your father,” Mistress Silano snapped, dismissing them with a lazy flick of her wrist. Several golden bracelets clinked with the movement. “Leave us. We have important business to discuss. Later, we will talk about this rebel behavior of yours. I assure you it will not be tolerated again.”

On the verge of tears, Luna spun on her heel and stormed away, abandoning her usual caution in favor of stomping on the floorboards. A rebellious act that would surely add on to her troubles, but Luna didn’t seem to care.

Penny flattened herself to the ground, slinking quietly behind Luna until they reached the modest dining room next to the kitchen. It was their favorite place to take meals. They avoided the large, lonely dining hall the Master and Mistress preferred.

“It’s not fair, Penny!” Luna cried. Penny’s ears flattened as Luna scraped the legs of her chair against the floor. She fell into her seat and slammed her head into the table. “Is understanding my nightmares really too much to ask?”

Penny jumped onto the table, not caring if she was allowed on the furniture or not. If they found her pawprints on the polished wood, so be it. Compared to the demands Luna had to put up with, obtaining a Drowzee was a perfectly reasonable request.

Penny rolled onto her belly and mewed pathetically. She hadn’t needed these deliberately vulnerable positions to garner sympathy and food since she was taken in, but it was the only thing she could think of.

But Luna didn’t move.

Penny’s fur bristled along her spine. She yowled at the top of her lungs and startled Luna, who jumped to her feet with an expression that would’ve been comical if the situation hadn’t been so dire.

“Don’t do that, Penny!” Luna shouted, her eyes blazing. “You have no idea what I’m going through!”

A growl escaped Penny’s throat. These dreams terrified her human and nobody else was aware. That’s all she needed to know.

They glared daggers into each other. Penny flexed her claws against the wood, leaving shallow scratchmarks behind.

Then a knock on the side door broke their concentration.

“Ms. Luna, are you feeling alright?” Michael called, his polite voice soothing as always. He opened the door as far as it would allow with the chain attached. He was an elderly man, tall and well-groomed, and he was the only other person in the manor Penny liked. “Do you require anything for yourself or Ms. Penny?”

Despite herself, Luna couldn’t help but laugh. Penny casually licked her paw and drew it over her ear, trying to appear nonchalant about being called ‘Ms. Penny’, but mostly she was just happy about Luna smiling for the first time in several weeks.

“I think we could use a light snack to settle our nerves,” Luna admitted.

Penny meowed in agreement, licking her lips at the promise of her favorite berries.

Michael unlatched the chain and stepped into the kitchen, nodding politely at Penny before pulling out ingredients and equipment for a light fruit parfait.

“I assume your audience didn’t go well,” Michael said, carefully dicing several strawberries with a practiced hand.

Luna filled a water bowl for Penny and grabbed a glass of juice for herself. “They didn’t listen to me. But it’s nothing I haven’t heard before,” she sighed. “I shouldn’t have said those things, Penny. I’m sorry.”

Penny purred, rubbing her cheek against Luna’s arm. Then she settled in front of her bowl, eager to quench her thirst.

“Ms. Luna, forgive my curiosity, but what reason do you have for staying here? You have a Pokémon. Most children these days would leave home the moment they’re of legal age for an official license.”

“My parents would hunt me down if I left. You know that, Michael,” Luna said. “Penny and I would be on the run constantly. I can’t make her commit to that.”

Penny scowled. Of course she would commit! She had claws and fangs for a reason.

Michael chuckled as he set the finished parfaits in front of Luna and Penny. “Ms. Penny seems to disagree.”

“She likes to contradict me,” Luna muttered, swirling the blueberries around with a spoon.

“It sounds as if fear is your only reason,” Michael mused. “But you were also courageous enough to request a Pokémon from your parents. Many staff members never would’ve confronted them directly.”

Luna dropped her spoon on the table. Yogurt splattered onto her sleeve, but Luna didn’t seem to care. She whipped around and stared at Michael in surprise.

“You think I’m brave?” she asked, her eyes wide.

Michael shook his head. He took a napkin and dabbed at the yogurt on Luna’s sleeve. “No, Ms. Luna. Bravery can easily turn to folly, and I know you’re not a fool. But I believe you display true courage when the situation arises. You found Penny as a critically injured stray who’d happened to wander into the garden, and you nursed her back to health.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Luna said. “You were the one who took care of her.”

“You don’t wear self-defeat well. It’s not a matter of who took care of Ms. Penny’s needs, but rather that you chose to help her at all despite knowing your parents would disapprove. I would dare call that an act of true courage.”

“True courage…” Luna murmured. She finished the last of her parfait, giving the empty bowl to Michael.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Michael asked, raising an eyebrow.

Penny swiped the blueberry juice off her mouth, adding her own questioning meow to Michael’s worried tone.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Luna smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you for everything, Michael.”

Penny followed Luna out of the kitchen. Her ears twitched at the running water and tinkling of dishes behind her.

“Likewise…”

Only Penny caught the sadness in his voice.

o-o-o-o-o

Luna wasn’t changing into her pajamas. And she always changed into her pajamas before reading a story to Penny.

Penny narrowed her eyes. There was an odd lilt in Luna’s voice, like she wasn’t enthusiastic about the story tonight. She was lost in her own mind, somewhere Penny couldn’t ever reach.

“’Awakened, the human dons the Pokémon hide to roam villages.’” Luna finished Sinnoh Folk Tales, then put it back on the shelf. She trailed her hand over the book covers, hesitating over a frayed photo of herself and Penny.

The camera had been nothing but a cheap disposable, but the maid who’d taken the photo was kind enough to get the picture developed somewhere. Shame she’d been fired. She’d made the tastiest poffins that Penny had eaten in her life.

Penny closed her eyes and burrowed into the blankets, leaving nothing except the tips of her ears poking out. She placed a paw over her face, flicking her ears as a light laugh filled the room.

But the atmosphere soon grew somber again.

Under the covers, Penny took deep breaths to fool Luna into believing she was asleep. She’d get to the bottom of this, no matter how much her human believed it was her burden to bear.

A Meowth never let anything escape her claws.

“Penny…I-I’m…” Luna’s voice faltered. “Please understand.”

Her footsteps sounded faintly on the rug, thudded against the floorboards, and slapped against the tile until the sound faded away completely.

Penny’s ears swiveled to the door, listening for Luna’s soft, cautious steps.

Five minutes passed, the Hoothoot clock marking every agonizing second with a faint click.

Her human just wanted a glass of water. That was all. She shouldn’t worry.

But the doubtful voice in her head told her otherwise.

Soon the waiting grew unbearable, and Penny finally threw off the blankets and stalked out the bedroom door. Her skilled paws slid over the ornate rug, but she had no time to be proud over the abilities she’d honed because of her humble beginnings.

Learn where to find food and water. Learn who to avoid. The two most basic rules of the wild.

Luna and Michael were good humans. Avoid the Master and Mistress. The rest of the staff were a gamble, though better moods generally meant less trouble.

Penny crept downstairs, then ran for cover behind a couch at the clack of a high heel behind her.

Luna’s dark hair streamed behind her as she moved into the garden of red lilies. Penny heard Luna’s ragged breaths, smelled her fear, but her steps never wavered. She lifted her face to the stars above.

“I’m ready, Gardevoir. Please guide me and test my resolve if I’m truly destined to be your world’s hero.”

A shimmering blue portal opened before Luna. She stepped through it, leaving no trace of her existence behind.

And Penny cried under an endless canopy of stars.

End AN:So planned concepts: Luna would’ve gone to the world of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, specifically Rescue Team. She gets transformed into a Skitty and teams up with a Charmander named Sunny, who’s the son of the Charizard on Team ACT. There would’ve been a concurrent plot with Penny dealing with the fallout of Luna’s disappearance from her world as well. Overall, the concept was fun to create, but it was too ambitious for me.

But I hope you found this enjoyable regardless.

#pokemon mystery dungeon #pokemon ocs #meowth #pokemon fanfiction #fanfiction

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leradny · 5 years ago

Photo

Te Fiti - Pre-Colonial Tagalog Style

cosplayer: @leradny (me, the op!)

i didn’t take very many photos of my te fiti cosplay at silicon valley comic con!!! i was too busy tripping over my cloak and malong, lmfao. the first picture is me and my sister as moana.

i also took photos with THIS AMAZING NATIVE-STYLED CAPTAIN AMERICA COSPLAYER (if you know his handle or his real name, please say so!) and also JASON MOMOA HIMSELF.

then, a friendly dog i met in a cafe, and also a very nice snake.

and also detail shots because i did not realize HOW MUCH THE CLOAK WOULD HIDE.

i have explained the main points of symbolism under the cut (sorry mobile users!!):

- to replace the haku lei te fiti wears, i put in a beaded headband as those are more common among filipino indigenous groups. this headband is made of green silk decorated with orange blossoms, oranges, and orange thorns. in some groups on the northern island of the philippines, luzon, which is where my people the taga-ilog originated, orange trees are believed to ward off evil spirits. the thorns are also traditionally used as tattoo needles.

- the tattoos are not finished, but they contain symbols of fertility or protection, nine stars representing the pleiades (a common sign of the start of the planting season), te fiti’s spiral, and the tigmamanukan bird who was a sacred messenger of bathala, the creator god of the tagalogs.

- in pre-colonial and existing indigenous filipino tribes, the use of gold was a sign of spirituality instead of a symbol of wealth. heirloom gold was the most prized jewelry and passed down through generations as it would allow one’s ancestors to recognize them.

- the earrings are based off the b’laan style of earrings in the south, but extremely lengthened. along with the matching strands on the headband, they symbolize the vines of te fiti’s hair.

- the spiral was changed to a snake necklace with the spiral on my left side and the heart of te fiti replaced with a snake head. snakes are very positive symbols of health, fertility, and youth. i will, however, remake this necklace as the beads don’t lay quite right on the frame.

- the tube top was mainly a concession to modern public decency laws. actual tagalog women wore no shirts as their full sleeves and collars of tattoos counted as clothing. on the left side it is decorated with eye motifs which are symbols of protection. the other side is bordered with flame motifs, which i made up for this costume to symbolize volcanos and therefore te ka.

- throughout the costume i decided to have a theme of duality or contrast, particularly in the belt and the gold bracelets. in most filipino folklore, the right side of the body symbolized masculinity, which i chose to mean te ka, and the left side symbolized femininity, so the left side became the te fiti side. these are indian bangles which i wore on my right arm to symbolically cover up the te ka tattoos (which i didn’t actually have time to draw on). my left arm had only my tattoos (and, in a poor case of judgment, the convention wristband).

- the belt and malong contain the three colors of royalty across the major regions--red for the Visayan islands, blue for Luzon, and yellow for Mindanao. the yellow with blue trim also symbolizes the beach and the ocean. the symbols are, from left to right: the same sacred bird of bathala in my tattoos, the tigmamanukan, a balete or banyan tree which houses spirits (good ancestors or evil demons, depending on the region), the ling-ling-o which is a symbol of life, a volcano which across the islands are revered as houses of the gods or ancestors, and a crocodile mouth as they are both feared and revered as children of dragons.

- the cloak/blanket is a symbol of nobility as well. generally it is worn by men, but gender roles were much more flexible in pre-colonial times, and even in existing indigenous groups it’s not uncommon for unisex garments. i used henna to paint leaves containing tattoo symbols of fertility. when i have more time i will finish the symbols in the smaller columns which are repeating symbols of fertility. on my back is another tree of life/balete tree. along the panels which reach the ground, i put stylized fish, again to symbolize the ocean.

#cosplay #moana #te fiti #the philippines #pinoy pride #long post #seriously this is six months of research packed into one post

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winterromanov · 6 years ago

Text

now the day bleeds - david x julia (bodyguard fic, 1/?)

David finds out that Julia has been in hiding for over a year, and there’s a reason for it. A pretty big one.

The postcard lands on David doormat alongside unpaid bills, bank statements and menus for shitty takeaway food outlets. It’s so apparently insignificant, so unexpected, he barely realises when Charlie’s muddy school shoes plants a wet footprint over the tiny Invernetian landscape. He only notices when he bends down to look, throwing Charlie’s reading folder at the bottom of the stairs. The green bleeds shaky colour into his otherwise mostly beige hallway. It’s enough for mild intrigue, at the very least. The mud doesn’t blear the neat biro font across the back—wish you were here.

David’s forehead naturally crinkles as he looks for a name, and finds none. He’s got family close to Inverness, but none that couldn’t send a text and none that would go on holiday there. None that regularly speak to him. As far as he’s aware, he’s got no friends holidaying up there either. It’s possible that maybe the postcard was meant for next door, or over the road—but no, his address is right, down to the postcode.

“Dad!”

Ella’s voice punctures his curiosity, and he looks up to find his daughter standing irritably with her arms crossed. Her long hair is braided and she’s wearing a new blazer that’s just a little bit too big for her, but like Vicks said, she’ll grow into it. Out of protest, Ella’s rolled up the sleeves, wearing a selection of beaded bracelets halfway up her arm that definitely violate the school uniform code. Vicky had tittered about Ella’s supposed rebellion, but he’d not been that worried about it. She’s on the edge of being a teenager in a brand new school full of bigger kids. Ella was just trying to find her place, stand out a bit.

“Yeah, what is it sweetheart?” he asks, smiling tightly. Ella rolls her eyes.

“We’re hungry. What’s for tea?”

Tea. Yeah, tea, he’d have to feed them before Vicky came to pick them up. He scratches the back of his head. “Uh—I think there’s some fishfingers in the freezer. Put the oven on and I’ll be in in a minute, yeah?”

Ella sighs dramatically, as all nearly-twelve-year-olds do whenever they’re asked to do anything. He ignores her, returning to the unusual delivery, thumbing the peeling corners carefully. He’d been in his job long enough, seen enough, to know that often things were not what they seemed. Ulterior motives lurked in ordinary objects like the blood pulsing behind his skin. There was always something else. When the edge of a mountain folds over, he pulls the tacky picture back, the mossy green film shedding away into white. There’s a second detail to the card—on that the sender had deliberately hidden, meant only for the recipient.

It’s an address. His thumb traces the clear handwriting carefully. There’s no name, again, but his fingertip curls over the final letter in the postcode, and oh God—

His heartbeat stutters manically. He feels unintended tears burning at the back of his eyes, hot and hopeful yet utterly furious, because he knows, he knows, he knows. He knows there is only one person this could possibly be from. All these months—over a year—and he knows, because who else would do this?

It should have clicked straightaway. But it’s been so long. He’s been so tired, like the last year has been desperately treading through mud in the hope of finding something better. He’s mostly just found shit, tonnes and tonnes of it, but as the weeks dragged on the sheer volume of it appeared to reduce. The counselling has helped. Seeing the kids has helped. It’s by no means anywhere near finished, but it was beginning to ease. The constant ache fading into a dull throb that God knows he takes enough medication for.

David’s whole body seems to shake as he dizzily paces into the living room and falls onto the sofa. He reads the address over and over, wonders what the hell she’s been playing at all this time. It makes sense, but also makes as much sense as quantum physics. Anger flits into sadness, then into absolute fury. He wants to throw something. Smash the mirror on the wall, so his face cracks and reflects back the state of his broken head. But there’s Ella, and there’s Charlie, and he cannot afford to have a breakdown right now. He cannot afford to let Vicky take them away again. Think he’s not safe for them.

Ella stomps back from the kitchen again, but her annoyed glare softens into concern. She bites the nail on her thumb. “Dad?”

David blinks, shakes his head. He slips the postcard down the side of the couch and pretends he can’t feel it burning, threatening to burn down the whole house like a cigarette falling out an ash tray. “Yeah, love?”

“Are you… okay?” Ella’s eyes are wide, and he does his best to reinstate normality. He smiles and thinks it looks reassuring. “I tried to turn on the oven but I’m not sure how it works. Also Charlie wants chicken dippers.”

Okay, so this is easy, this is normal. He can deal with this. “Well, tell Charlie that I’ve only got fishfingers, so unless he wants a big plate of broccoli he’ll have to eat them.”

Charlie’s unwillingness to eat anything green had become a family joke. Both him and Vicky had attempted to get vegetables into his diet by any means necessary—their latest tactic of hiding them in mashed potato had failed miserably when Vicky had found mash smeared in an empty biscuit tin—so he sees this as safe territory. It works and Ella calms instantly, her grin mirroring his own.

“I’ll sort the oven,” he says, pulling himself up from the sofa, “C’mon.”

-x-

He tries to be normal through dinner. Really, really tries. He asks Charlie about his volcano project and whether his mum ever got that papier mache off the bathroom ceiling, and Ella blushes when he asks about that boy she was talking to at the school gates. He’s just Tony, she says, and he’s an idiot.

(The way Ella’s swirls her food round her plate with her fork, her head dreamily lolling onto her hand, makes David think that Tony is an idiot who his eleven-year-old daughter has probably kissed behind the bike sheds at lunchtime. God. That’s not something he’d even mildly considered worrying about yet, alongside everything else.)

But at the back of his head is Inverness.

The logical part of his brain is telling him not to go. He’s got a life here that is somehow getting back on track, and he knows trailing all the way to Scotland will undoubtedly cruelly shatter his equilibrium. And—who is she? To lead him on all these months, all the fucking grief, all the guilt and the blame and the feeling of his heart shifting like broken glass in the recesses of his chest? The suicide attempt and the dirty mercy mission that followed, his need to claw back vengeance even though every single person around him thought that he was the bomb at the heart of it all?

(And he was, in the end, but not in the way everyone thought. He did it all for her. It was always for her, in her name, her fucking posh, Tory, everything he should despise but somehow didn’t name.)

Julia Montague destroyed him. Granted, he was fractured way before their paths ever crossed, but she had him splintering. Crunching under foot. And for her to be…

Yet, somehow, this is what he thought would happen all along.

His heart is telling him to go.

After all, it was his heart that opened up to her, in those dark hotel-room nights where he clung to her bones like fabric. He kissed her manically, desperately; but sometimes they laughed, too, and he caught himself wondering if maybe this was right. Maybe this was love. Because after the bomb—there was justice, and revenge, but love sat hopelessly at the heart of it. He can’t help it. The thought of her being alive and hidden away for months as he grieved hurts—God, it hurts—but it can’t hurt more than the thought of her being dead. It can’t. It can’t.

“Dad! Your beans are getting cold!”

Charlie’s voice is cheerfully oblivious. He stuffs a chip into his mouth. David smiles.

“Ah, good spot, Charlie,” David looks across the table at his two beautiful children, thinking they are more than enough. He is so lucky to have them, these two amazing little human beings. Ella and Charlie. The product of a love that had always been fragile but then sputtered and died, but his love for his children had never changed.

His love for her had never changed, and maybe that was the saddest thing of all. His equilibrium was always going to be skewed. Whether he went to Inverness or not.

Vicky comes to pick them up an hour later. He asks her in out of politeness but fortunately she has to jet off, something about an early shift tomorrow.

As they stand in warm familiarity on the doorstep, he almost doesn’t say it. He hands her Charlie’s book-bag and Ella’s PE kit and the words sit in his mouth. A mild, September wind blows into the doorway and Vicky shivers.

“I…” he starts, Vicky’s eyebrows arching in anticipation, “I—I’ve got to go away for a couple of days. Maybe more.”

“Oh,” Vicky says, “Is it a work thing?”

“Yeah, just a work thing, nothing important. But I have to go.”

Vicky looks a little unconvinced for a second, but eventually settles. It’s not the first time he’s been away for work and every time he’s come back fine, if not better, so he can see she thinks there’s nothing to worry about. Maybe there isn’t. Maybe this whole thing is a big fat lie, concocted in his head.

It strikes him then how heartbroken he’d feel if he’d got all this wrong. It must be her, it’s got her written all over it, but what if it isn’t? His shoulder subconsciously sag as he internally lives that absolute nightmare. He’s so, so angry with her, but he doesn’t want his fury misdirected at a ghost.

Vicky’s hand reaches out for his shoulder. “You okay?”

David shakes her off, but smiles anyway. “Fine, yeah. Sorry.”

Ella and Charlie rush through, kissing their dad goodbye before trekking out to the car across the street. Vicky presses a gentle kiss on his cheek, out of friendliness and compassion, barely an ember of what once was.

“Take care of yourself, Dave,” she says, as she always does. When he closes the door, he waits at the window until they drive off. Charlie waves, sticking his tongue out. David sticks his tongue out back.

He’s going to Inverness.

He has to.

-x-

He takes a night to think it over despite already being decided. Sleep completely eludes him, his bedside clock blinking mockingly as two drags into three then four. Eventually he abandons it altogether, throwing off the duvet and packing a holdall in the muted orange of an autumn dusk. He gets the train so he can sleep a little on the road, then he hires a car once he arrives in Scotland. The Satnav leads him away from the town and deep into the highlands he’d passed through hundreds of times as a kid, all dark and grass and heather, mud on wellies and the gentle steps of his grandparents’ border collie as it ran on ahead. After what feels like hours and hours of driving, the sun beginning to set once again, he rolls up outside a small white cottage standing alone amongst sheep farmland.

There’s the possibility that this is some kind of trap, because that’s not unusual in counter-terrorism. A smarter man than him probably wouldn’t have come all the way here without telling anyone where he was going, but he’d left school with barely any Highers anyway. He clutches the postcard between his forefinger and thumb, his hands clammy and chilled. It takes him a few seconds to get out the car, although he assumes the resident of the cottage has already heard him pull up the drive.

His feet crunch on the gravel as he wanders up to the door. His knocks are short, decisive—there’s not much to hold him back now. It slowly unlocks a moment later, and his heart lurches in unspeakable trepidation.

In the dim glow of the hallway light, he’s greeted by a ghost.

And the ghost—the ghost, she’s holding a baby.

#hello from the trash pile #i am back #bodyguard #bbc bodyguard #bodyguard netflix #david budd #julia montague #david x julia #bodyguard fic

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