#vittles

[backupstardust]

I could make this worse. I could add the Aloe Vera Juice with pulp. Maybe even the coconut one. The pulp-chunks are already boba-adjacent and everyone else in my family hates it so I’d probably have to drink the whole thing myself

What's this Halloween blue slime drink you speak of?

My trademark Halloween blue slime is a beverage that has been described as both��“bad” and “wrong.” I think the nicest thing anyone has ever said about it is “I don’t hate it,” and that’s because other people cowards.

If you, too, want to torment your friends and family with Slime™ this year, here’s what you’re going to want to do. Buy a package of Jello powder in whatever color you want your drink to be. I think that green and blue are the funniest and have made both, but settled on blue for good my senior year of high school when having a neon blue beverage that everyone else hated seemed like the perfect complement to my Newton Geiszler costume. (I was right.) Realistically, Jello colors are pretty much all neon, so whichever one you choose, the laboratory abomination aesthetic will stick

Prepare your jello as normal, but don’t let it set entirely. Basically, you want parts of it to be firm/set, but for there to still be a certain amount of liquid (since that will make the colors mix more evenly with the rest of your ingredients). Mix your half-set Jello slime with some lemon-lime soda, which is clear, and thus doesn’t dilute the horrible color you have going on but adds a weird, mysterious fizz to the whole affair (and makes it more of a drink). I like to also add lemonade since it complements the flavor, and if you do it in a smaller amount usually the color intensity isn’t too affected. You could probably put in anything you want, up to and including alcohol, but I’ve only ever done the lemonade and lemon-lime soda combo and throwing some vodka into the mix might be an act of hubris beyond measure, since I’m not sure the slime needs to be worse. The proportions are up to you, depending on what flavor you’re going for. Really, the important part is 1) there is a significant quantity of slimy Jello bits in it, thus producing a texture some people would can “awful” and 2) you add something with fizz, to make it look even more like a lab accident

Fair warning, I am the only person I’ve ever met who actually likes this. That said, if you want to brave the terrible concoction yourself, be my guest! And report back to me with your conclusions. Remember, it’s only science if you write it down.

In conclusion, have a baby cosplay Newt, er Nate from 2014, to illustrate the Very Bad Drink that you too can inflict on yourself and loved ones:

[2am-poetry]

[zooophagous]

Dogs are great animals because one minute you're best friends who have each other's backs and sleep in the same bed and then the next minute you're literally at each other's throats over a piece of paper with some oil on it that fell out of the trash

[fieriframes]

[Always be comic in a tragedy.]

[todaysdocument]

Retired COL Gail S. Halvorsen displays a parachute similar to the ones he used during the Berlin Airlift (1948-49), when he dropped candy from his aircraft to children in the blockaded city. June 23, 1988. 

Record Group 330: Records of the Office of the Secretary of Defense

Series: Combined Military Service Digital Photographic Files

Image description: Colonel Halvorsen stands outside and smiles as he holds up a miniature parachute. In the background is a World War II-era military aircraft. 

[lanaevyssmoved]

[doctordisaster]

ew you still use your baby name? grow up

i think everyone even cis people should have a deadname. like. picking out your own name and choosing your own identity should be such an integral part of being human. casting away all the falsehoods of childhood and keeping only the love and the wisdom you’ve gained and using that to construct a new self, a new personhood… idk i think cultures that call kids a placeholder name and let them pick their own once they reach maturity were doing something right

[neganium]

My mom fixed some rice since we don't got a whole lot else rn. It helps! It's kinda good, too; she used part of a lemon pepper seasoning packet that is meant for hot wings but I think it works here, too. Plus a lil butter. It's tasty.

[flyingmilkstool]

Stained glass window from Rhein-Main chapel, now in Ramstein terminal.

[homeproduct]

Vittles Vault Dog Food Storage Container, Up To 35 Pounds Dry Pet Food Storage, Made in USA

[katarh-mest]

about a third of the way in, this is a GOOD video, everything my best friend from college (who is now a veterinarian) taught me

I'm anxious about posting a pet nutrition post in general, let alone a video to youtube, but please enjoy a very basic one as an introduction to dog & cat nutrition.

[lord-christer-gustafsson]

Fisk även idag... Hur smart kommer jag att bli egentligen 🤠 I alla fall så blev det lite restfest på det vi hade hemma... Det enda som köptes var fisken som blev vittling idag 😋 Medan brysselkål och jordärtskockor råstektes så kokade jag potatis och körde premiär på den nya airfryern där fisken fick tillagas. Till detta blev det resten av sandefjordssåsen sedan i lördags 👌 Missa inte något inlägg eller recept genom att Följa 👉 @the.real.cg.lagar.mat ✨ #fisk #fisktillmiddag #finafisken #vittling #brysselkål #jordärtskocka #sandefjordssås #sandefjordsås #matobak_se #matgladagbg #icookcosori @cosoricooks #cosorisverige @cosorisverige @hisingensfisk @marinetaste @kville_saluhall @vargenthor

[justmewondering56]

do you have a notebook to record bioeffective acts of natural chemical growth?

[fieriframes]

[Estriols.]

[zutalorsihavemissedone]

Correct

"global south"

you tellin me the entire southern hemisphere is full of rednecks?

[alexanderwales]

Everyone is born into a Genre, except for those poor souls who are destined to be side characters and bystanders, or occasionally taken hostage.

You were born to parents of different Genres, which was unthinkable a generation ago but now only raises a few judgmental eyebrows. Your father was a spy and your mother was a ninja, which is one of the more acceptable Genre pairings. There's crossover there, people understood it.

But when you were four, you first put on a cowboy hat, and it just felt right. Your parents were appalled. They didn't even know where the cowboy hat had come from.

You'd think, given the struggles they had in their own marriage and the prejudice they faced from the rest of the world, that they would be more understanding, but your father yanked the lasso you made from bedsheets away from you when you were eight years old, and your mother made you do throwing star drills in the family dojo for hours. You were horrible at it, and she blamed your father. Granted, you weren't any better at dodging laser tripwires.

Eventually you settled into dressing "normal". Dad and mom could pretend that it was a disguise, and it sort of was. Dad didn't wear his tuxedo everywhere, and mom only wore her shinobi shozoku when things were getting serious.

But then when you went to college you saw her, a coed walking across the quad in boots with spurs on them. Her blonde hair was in braids that stuck out from beneath her ten gallon hat. She was wearing chaps, and you followed after her like a puppy dog, trying not to be obvious about it but in retrospect being very obvious about it.

It was a rocky start. You made an awkward introduction, then she thought you were making fun of her when you started asking all kinds of questions. Western wasn't a popular Genre. It's time had come and gone. And even when she realized that you were serious, she was skittish, worried that you were interested for the wrong reasons, a Genre seeker.

Eventually she understood where you were coming from, that you were Western too, even if you didn't look like it, even if you didn't speak the language or have the skills.

One night, a week after you'd met, you asked her some innocuous question and she gave you a playful shove and called you a greenhorn. You felt your heart soar and a frission go across your skin. "Aw shucks," she said as you wiped away a happy tear, "Weren't nothin' but the truth."

From then on it was a blur of rodeos and saloons. You bought new clothes from the one general store they had in the city. You learned how to hogtie and cattle call. You ate beans around a campfire and then went to class the next day smelling like wood smoke and yearning for the wide open plains.

Going home felt itchy. It was too difficult to ignore how the clothes didn't feel quite right, and you wore flannel and jeans, on the edge of acceptability, flirting with the line. But you carried yourself differently too, and that was harder to disguise, especially since it was hard to remember the mask you'd been wearing.

One of these days you'll tell yours parents who you are, but there's a nagging feeling that they should have known all along, that they deprived you of a childhood that could have been happier if they hadn't tried to mold you into a version of them.

But until then, you'll guide your horse through town, moseying along, eating your vittles, and maybe with a cowgirl by your side.