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eyeseeoptique · 1 year ago
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The Importance of Regular Eye Examinations: What You Need to Know
In a world filled with screens and digital devices, maintaining good eye health is paramount. At Eye See Optique, we understand the significance of regular eye examination and their role in preserving your vision. Our commitment to your eye care needs goes beyond trendy eye wear; it extends to the well-being of your eyes.
Why Eye Examinations Matter
Regular eye examinations are not merely a routine check-up. They serve as a proactive measure to safeguard your vision and overall eye health. Our comprehensive eye examinations are conducted by experienced optometrists who assess various aspects of your vision and eye condition. These examinations help identify issues such as nearsightedness, farsightedness, astigmatism, and more.
Detecting Early Signs of Eye Conditions
Many eye conditions, like glaucoma and macular degeneration, may not show symptoms until they have progressed significantly. Our eye examinations can detect early signs of these conditions, allowing for timely intervention to prevent vision loss.
Prescription Updates
If you wear glasses or contact lenses, your prescription may change over time. Regular eye exams ensure that your corrective lenses remain up-to-date, providing you with the clearest and most comfortable vision possible.
Eye Care Customized to You
At Eye See Optique, we recognize that every individual is unique. Our eye examinations are tailored to your specific needs and concerns. Whether you have a family history of eye conditions or simply want to maintain excellent eye health, our team will provide personalized care.
Conclusion
Regular eye examinations are more than just a routine check-up; they are a crucial step in preserving your vision and overall eye health. At Eye See Optique, we are dedicated to providing comprehensive and personalized eye care. Schedule your eye examination today to ensure a clear and vibrant future for your eyes. Your vision matters, and so does your eye health.
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myvisioncareusa · 2 years ago
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kitasgloves · 2 months ago
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— ♬ NSFW
Let's talk about your classmate FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY who's consistently at the top of the class. His reputation is built on his stoic intelligence and somewhat regal appearance. People both feel drawn to him and also too intimidated to approach him. Enter you, who's not a star student and is content with getting decent and passing grades. However, this one class you shared with Fyodor had you struggling ever since the beginning of the semester.
Your professor handed back everybody's test paper after class, and when they called your name, a look of disappointment was evident on their face. This wasn't the first time you've had a low score or genuinely failed at tests and quizzes. You can't help it since the topics being discussed in this class weren't your forté.
"I can see you have potential [Last Name]. However, another low score and you're set to fail my class"
Your stomach drops. No decent student wants to fail their class, and this could cause major drawbacks now you're in university.
"I don't want to see you fail my class so I have thought about asking Dostoevsky here to guide you for the following exam next week"
You stiffen when you notice Fyodor walking into your line of vision beside your professor. There was a polite but tight smile on his face when his eyes landed on you. It would be a lie if you said you didn't have a fat crush on the mysterious genius. You literally sit right behind him, allowing you to observe him. You noticed his habit of biting his nails during lectures, the elegant cursive handwriting on his notebook, and even the smell of his rich perfume. You were allured by him so to hear that you'll be getting tutor lessons from him merely made you leap with excitement like a schoolgirl.
"Where do you prefer to study, [Last Name]?"
Fyodor asked as you two walked together out of the campus. A million peaceful and secluded places came to mind.
"I know a quiet cafe near campus, do you want to go there?"
"Hm, it sounds ideal. We can get coffee or pastry during our study"
Your leg kept bouncing from under the table as you gazed at Fyodor across from you. You both ordered coffee, you got your usual while he settled for some black coffee. You laid all the necessary materials on the table as you discussed your struggles with the topics. He takes note of every weak point you have and effortlessly begins to explain to you why you are struggling and how to overcome it.
You admired Fyodor's attractive intelligence with how he flawlessly began to tutor you. He was patient and didn't insult you when you made a mistake. He wasn't too uptight either since he'd crack a joke or two during discussions. You were confident that you were going to ace the upcoming exam.
It was already dark when the tutoring was done. Fyodor offered to walk you back to your dorm. He's done so much for you today that you're thinking of ways to pay him back somehow. When you open your door, Fyodor takes a swift peek inside.
"Hm, do you have roommates, [Name]?"
"Yeah, but they're back in their hometown for a week"
"So, you will be alone for tonight?"
"Yes, would you like to come in?"
A smile rose on the male's lips as he nodded. The moment the door shuts, you could've never anticipated what has occurred next. It happened so suddenly that you had trouble processing if it was reality. First, Fyodor corners you to your bed, grabs your jaw, and kisses you. It didn't take long before both of your clothes were discarded.
"Oh my—you're clenching around me again"
Fyodor chuckles at you while he thrusts his cock inside of you. The sensation of his length inside of you made your walls get immediately familiarized with the shape of his cock, imprinting it within your memory. You were sprawled on your bed, legs spread, while he pounded in you in between. Your head was spinning with sheer pleasure with how his dick is accurately kissing the most delicious parts of you.
"I can feel that you're about to cum soon, dearest"
Fuck, his sultry voice that you've fantasized about calling you countless names, contributed to the push towards your release. Fyodor was gripping your hips while his balls slapped against the plush of your ass with every thrust. He was fucking you deep and hard that you could've sworn you could feel him in your stomach.
"Fuck, y—you're so deep!"
"Oh darling, I know how you like it. From the moment my fingers fucked that greedy little pussy open, I know how you would like to take my cock"
He gives you one brutal thrust that sends you cross-eyed with your toes curling. You know that he's aware that if he kept up with his slow but brutal pace, it would indefinitely bring you to your sweet release.
"Fy—Fyodor, I—!"
"Hm? What's that, sweetheart?"
"Fa—Fast—oh!"
Fyodor chuckles condescendingly at the way you couldn't properly form a coherent sentence because of how he's pounding into your pussy. His eyes watched with delight when a creamy ring has form around the base of his cock as you stained the bedsheets with your juices, he's been fucking you for half an hour and he seemed like he couldn't get enough.
"Does my sweet little whore want me to go faster?"
"Yes!"
You squealed as you gripped the sheets. Fyodor couldn't hold back a laugh as his grip on your hips tightened and he leaned forward until his face was inches away from yours.
"As you wish"
You throw your head back, your jaw goes slack, and your eyes roll to the back of your skull. Your face was contorted into the purest and most intense look of pleasure when Fyodor's hips went faster. His cock kept slamming against your cervix and it made your thighs shudder. Drool seeped down on the corner of your lips while Fyodor leaned down to bite your shoulder. Satisfied with a singular red mark, one of Fyodor's hands stealthily made its way toward your bud of nerves.
His thumb firmly massaged your clit in delicious circles. With the way his cock was bullying your cervix and his thumb was rubbing careful circles on your clit, it was enough for you to fiercely clench on him and arch your back with a scream. Fyodor watched as you came, he hissed as he felt your walls clamp down on him like a vice. To see you unravel underneath him was sufficient to push him towards his orgasm.
"Shit—"
Fyodor's legs slightly quiver as he pulls out and shoots his cum all over your tummy. You were breathless with your vision blurred by your intense release. You can feel his excessive cum sticking to your skin and even dripping down to stain the bedsheets. You smile blissfully to yourself. This seems like the ideal payment you can give to Fyodor for tutoring you.
The result of the exams arrived before you knew it, you felt confident as you walked over to your professor to receive your paper. However, when your eyes landed on the score, your body felt dreadfully cold. Your score was the lowest in the entire class, if that wasn't embarrassing enough, it seemed like all that tutoring Fyodor gave you was useless. Your face flushed red. You felt humiliated when your professor shook their head and frowned at you. Were you that fucking stupid for failing this test again?
Fyodor observed you in his seat with a twisted smile. He watched you beg the professor to give you a re-take of the exam. His smile grows more when the professor sighs but agrees before calling him over. Fyodor hid his smile with a dignified expression. God, you looked pitiful, looking up at him through those lashes with glassy eyes like he was your last hope. It made his pants feel tight.
If only you knew how he cleverly tricked you. Fyodor had purposely taught you the wrong things, ensuring that you would fail that exam. Oh, how adorable your face looked when you seemed so genuinely excited to pass the exam, but his eyes were cunningly undressing you during the previous tutoring. The way you acted so timidly under his presence, the way you chewed on the tip of your pencil or sucked on that plastic straw while sipping your coffee, and the way he was palming himself under the table during that time proved how much he's willing to sabotage your success so that you can let him fuck you again.
"Am I really that dumb?"
"No, you're not dumb, darling"
You sniffed as you leaned into his open arms. Fyodor smirks to himself as he holds your crying figure in his arms while you two are alone in your dorm room again. He can feel himself get shamelessly hard with how pathetic you look. You pulled away and looked at him with a wobbling lip.
"Wh—What if I ge-get expelled from the class?"
You cried. Fyodor gives you a fake pout and cooed at you.
"No, won't"
"You'll help me again, right?"
"Of course, darling"
A relieved smile spreads across your face by his reply. However, Fyodor goes to touch your cheek.
"But you must do something for me first"
"I'll do anything"
"Good"
With that, he begins to unzip his pants.
part 2
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neteyamssock · 19 days ago
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🧸ྀི 𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓻'𝓼 𝓮𝓶𝓫𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓮, pt. 1
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★ ˙🧷 ̟ pairing: amnesiac agedup! neteyam x fem!metkayina!hermit!reader
★ ˙🧷 ̟ summary: neteyam didn't die during the fight, but instead got swept away by the waves, until he lost consciousness near the shore of your island.
★ ˙🧷 ̟ word count: 5.6k
★ ˙🧷 ̟tags/cw: agedup!characters, younger neteyam (18 up), older reader (20 up), amnesia, temporary memory loss, near death experience, falling in love, cohabitation, tsawke (sun) x syulang (flower), affectionate neteyam, neteyam's love language: act of service, reclusive but not introverted reader. (please tell me if I left out something!!)
──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !! A/N: this will be a twoshot fic! a rough draft, so it's unedited. will come back to revise and edit after my exams!! mwah. any feedback from you guys will be very much appreciated 🥹. text dividers credits to @/enchanthings and @/cinetrix for adult neteyam
MASTERLIST
WATTPAD
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★ ˙🧷 ̟ part i.
The waves of the ocean are restless, roaring in anger as the sky goes deeper into the eclipse. The sound of water hitting the shore is ticking you off, you can barely fall asleep because you would be shook awake by the thunderous roar of the water. Tonight is different. Something is different. You are used to storms and rough waves of the ocean, living alone on this small isolated island for almost half of your life. There has never been an instance that you couldn’t sleep during fierce weathers, in fact you find them comforting, reminding you of Eywa's presence in your solitude.
But tonight is not your normal night. Something is calling you to the beach, beckoning you, tempting you to step outside the comfort of your marui. You know it's dangerous, but the urge is like an itch you couldn’t scratch. Something perturbing is on the shore, and it must be Eywa pulling you to discover what’s on the other side.
So against your better judgment, you walked cautiously as the wind blew against you, messing your hair and pulling your beaded top up to your neck. You cursed as you tried to tighten the strings of your top, already regretting coming out of your warm and comforting marui. The raindrops were cold against your skin, making you hiss. Whatever is at the shore, it better be worth your time or else you’ll be having a word with great mother Eywa.
You clutched the spear in your right hand as you tried to cover your face with the other, keeping the water from clouding your vision as you walked near to the shore. Quickly, you noticed a figure lying on the sand, unmoving, as the waves cradled the figure’s body.
“Hey! Are you okay?” You spoke in na’vi, but the wind was too loud so you walked closer, watching the unmoving intruder cautiously. When it remained motionless, you cursed and walked closer.
Oh great mother. I thought you brought me gifts. I didn’t expect it to be a dying man!
The first thing you noticed was their skin color, a lot darker than yours, shade different too. Their tails were slimmer, arms a lot thinner. They couldn’t possibly be a metkayina. On their neck was a beaded necklace you often see in other clans’ warriors. You just weren't sure what clan he’s from. So he’s a warrior, that makes sense why he's wounded. But he's obviously not an aquatic na’vi. .
His breathing was faint, chest barely moving. He looks like he’s almost at Eywa’s embrace, and based on her multiple urging of you, it’s easy to understand that she definetly didn’t want this young warrior to die yet.
Searching for his wound, you saw a small hole near his chest, continously bleeding with debris of sand inside the wound. Grunting, you pulled him up and immediately checked whether there’s an exit wound. Seeing none, you finally let go of your breath. Okay. that’s good. I can work with that.
With all of your strength, you carried the dying warrior back to your marui, settling him on your bed as you quickly prepared all your tools and healing medicines. The first thing you did was to check if there’s any debris deep inside the wound. This is crucial, for a wound would never heal if there’s debris stuck inside. You worked quickly, and was surprised when your prodding tool bumped into something hard. The unconscious man groaned with pain, but his eyes remained closed.
“I’m sorry, mighty warrior, but this might hurt a lot. Unfortunately, i don’t have anything to stop the pain at the moment. Ready?” With quick movements, you retrieved the debris inside the wound, instantly perplexed when you saw it was a piece of metal with a weird shape. You almost forgot your patient until you felt him tremble.
You winced, “Sorry, I was just curious. Is this a new weapon from your clan? Looks odd, and definitely against Eywa’s rules.”
Of course no one replied. You set aside the odd-looking metal and refocused on the bleeding wound. You cleaned it up and started patching it up. It took you few hours to finish, and when you did, you were already sweating a lot.
With a sigh, you patted the young warrior’s pale cheek gently. “I’m done, mighty warrior. Now its your battle to fight. May Eywa be with you, brother.”
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It's been three days since you took in this patient. He hasn't woken up yet, but his breathing has stabilized. He also stopped bleeding and regained some color in his cheeks and lips. He's just basically recuperating right now and will wake soon enough.
You took this time to observe his facial features and was surprised to see he’s actually very good looking. You were so focused on saving his life that you barely noticed his appearance. He was a lot taller than you, with wide shoulders and thin waist. His calloused hands undeniably belonged to a warrior that uses bow and arrow, long fingers that you often stare at, as you watch him sleep.
You weren't sure what happened to him, but you're happy he’s fighting to survive. You wouldn't want to have a corpse of a fallen warrior in your marui after all. Oftentimes you would imagine what had transpired, what and where that odd-looking metal came from, and how powerful it was to almost send him back to Eywa’s embrace.
You laughed at your own thoughts, musing to yourself. “You look good, mighty warrior. Are you perhaps mated? If not, then how about me?”
You paused, then laughed as if you found yourself funny. “Nevermind. You seem too young for me. Although it makes you much more interesting, as you seem to have passed your iknimaya already.”
You turned away from your patient and began sharpening your spear, not noticing the finger of your patient—the one you just touched a moment ago—began twitching before settling back to normal once again.
You continued speaking. “I have done half of my iknimaya as well, although it's not considered official? Since I wasn't on metkayina and there's no elders to perform the ceremony for me. Not that important though. The only thing that is important is that I already have my own tsurak. Her name is hona.”
Inspecting your new sharpened spear, you sighed with contentment. Although alone, you enjoy your life on this island. You don't mind the solitude, as if you were born to be alone.
You know your family still hopes you’d go back home, to awa’atlu, but you figured your presence will not affect anything anyways. So you left under your parents’ regretful gazes and lived all your life on this island, surviving on your own.
There will be a time where your past will come back to haunt you, mess with your peace, and forcefully take you away from this place you have considered your home.
But for now, you’d enjoy your freedom. You just didn't expect to pick up a wounded stranger with a lot of mysteries you cannot wait to uncover.
“You must recover well, mighty warrior. Your family must be worried sick about you right now. Perhaps they might even think you're dead. So get better soon and leave, alright?”
As much as he looks good, he’s a stranger. You have basically completed Eywa’s request, so it's no longer your problem once he has recovered. He might fly with an ikran, or swim with an ilu, you do not care. You just want him to regain his strength and let him go back to where he's supposed to be.
You stood up and took your spear, ready to hunt for food and probably pick some herbs for your patient. These remaining days are important for his recovery. If he gets sick midway, he might not survive.
You groaned, feeling the ache on your shoulders and back when you woke up in the morning. You have sacrificed yourself and laid on the flooring of your marui, while the sleeping warrior slept in your bed comfortably.
You couldn't help but to fume in anger. This man better appreciate your efforts because if not, then both of you will have a problem.
Stretching your neck and shoulder, you groaned again. “Oh my Eywa, is this a punishment? Why must I suffer like this? What have I done?” You knew Eywa wouldn't respond. She only makes a connection or communication with you when she deems it necessary. With a sigh, you stood up and prepared yourself to hunt once again, feeling the rumble of your stomach.
As you are fixing your beaded top, you looked at your sleeping patient and sat on the side of the bed. “Wake up, will you? I’m so tired of sleeping on the floor. You’ve been hogging my bed since you came here. Don’t you have any shame?”
When your stomach rumbled again, you turned your head and stood up as you took your spear and headed outside. It was already noon when you came back with a basket of fish, several edible fruits and herbal medicine. You didn't pay attention to the man inside your home as you quickly prepared your lunch, not seeing the man’s lips twitching to form a smile.
You didn't forget to thank Eywa for the food, offering your sincere prayers as you pay respect for the fishes you hunted. “May Eywa be with you, little fishes. For now, please help me fill my belly.”
As you were about to walk back inside the marui, you froze in shock to see the sleeping warrior now sitting on the bed, calmly observing you. His amber eyes were scanning you, as if determining your level of threat to him, of what your capabilities are. You didn't care about his mistrustful eyes as you walked briskly towards him.
Clutching your chest, you exclaimed. “Wiya! Thank Eywa you finally woke up! Oh Eywa! This is great!”
Your surprise and joy made the man finally put his attention to you. “Who are you?” He asked, voice laced with authority as he scrutinized you. His mistrustful eyes made you roll your eyes. Oh Eywa, he’s one of those guys, isn’t he? The ones with their nose taller than their foreheads.
With the tone of his voice, your enthusiasm waned. You crossed your arms as your ears flattened against your head. “What do you think, young warrior?”
Seeing him non-responsive, you pointed to your bed and said. “I’m the one who saved you from returning to your great mother’s embrace, brother. The bed you are sitting on is mine. This marui is mine. This island is mine.”
His eyes widened, before he settled into a confused silence. It seems that he’s finally having some recollection of what happened to him. You let him think to himself and went back to your lunch, thanking Eywa for hearing your prayers.
You can finally sleep in your bed, after several nights of sleeping on a cold hard floor.
“... Do you know me?” He asked after a few minutes of silence, looking at you searchingly, seemingly confused and anxious.
You see his ears twitch and his tail flicking around in anxiety. A sense of foreboding dominated you. Please don't tell me… “No, I do not. I just happen to see you wounded on the shore of my island, that's why I brought you here. D-Do you not remember who you are?”
“... It seems not.”
With a defeated groan, you kicked the basket in frustration. “Pxasik! Don’t tell me you do not remember where you came from either?”
The young warrior glanced at you before shaking his head. He also looked distraught, it's probably very scary for him, remembering nothing. Waking up in a very unfamiliar place, with an aching body and a stranger reef na’vi girl. One can only imagine the horror.
Suddenly feeling regretful with your reaction, you studied him and sighed. “It’s fine. It's a common occurrence when warriors get wounded heavily. You’ll remember it later. For now…”
Seeing your conflicted appearance, the young warrior said. “I’ll leave.”
Your eyes widened as you met his eyes. The young warrior looked at you resolutely, and you felt even worse.
“I don't want to burden you any longer, so I will leave and find my way back h—”
Walking towards him, you gently pushed him back to the bed. “Just stay. At least until you remember who you are. I’m sure it won't be long before you get your memories back. I’d hate to see you wander around not knowing where to go, not to mention you’re still recovering from a heavy wound.”
The handsome warrior seemed hesitant, looking at you with confused eyes. “B-But—”
Feeling a bit peeved, you kneeled, now face to face with him. “Listen, warrior. I would've let you go if you have your memories intact, because it means I have finished Eywa’s quest for me. But now that you lost your memories, it would be against my conscience to let you leave while still recovering from a fatal wound and don't know where to go.”
He looked at you and seeing your resolute eyes, he finally relented and nodded. In fact he also really didn't want to leave for now. He can barely move his body, his chest is aching, head pounding, and he also cannot remember who he is. He had no recollection of what had happened to him and just woke up to the scent of the ocean and the tang of herbal medicine in the air.
His only comfort is that he's still alive, that you managed to keep him alive. Just by the bandages in his chest and the weakness he felt, he knew he must've been close to surrendering into the great mother’s embrace. If you didn't show up at all, then he might have been dead by now.
“Irayo…”
“_______. My name is _______.”
“Irayo, ______. I owe you my life.” He savored your name in his lips, liking how it rolled off his tongue nicely. Your name suited you.
With a smile, you stood up and spoke. “Well you do, so better pay me up in the future once you get home. For now, we’re gonna live together for a few more days so I'd like to make some rules.”
The warrior nodded, he knows it's reasonable to have rules. “Tell me.”
Pointing the bed, you said. “Now that you are awake, I refuse to sleep on the floor. The bed is big enough for the two of us, so we can just share. Another thing is that when you can finally stand and move, I expect you to pull your own weight around here. Do not expect me to always hunt for you. Is that clear?”
“Yes, I understand.”
He seems a lot more obedient than you thought so you gave him a satisfied smile. “Well then, we have an agreement. For now I’ll hunt for you, since you are still recovering. And oh, btw. I’ll just call you warrior since both of us do not know your name. Will that be alright?”
Warrior didn't seem to mind as he nodded, observing your marui. It didn't escape your eyes as he appreciated your personal space, amazed and curious.
“This is called marui. Technically not a marui though because it's a bit farther away from the water compared to marui built above the water.”
The young warrior glanced at you, “We call them kelku.”
Throwing back your head, you laughed. The wounded warrior looked at you, perplexed why you suddenly laughed.
“Ah, it's so funny that you remember what’s the name of the place you sleep in, but not your name or your clan?”
Realization dawned on him. It seems that he also thought it was odd. It's clear that he actually didn't forget everything after all, and only needed some triggers to bring back his memories. Your ears twitch in approval. “It seems that it's gonna be easy to get back your memories. Way to go, warrior.”
He looked sheepish, and also a bit happy at your words. He also cannot wait to regain his memories, as there's a feeling of dread and worry in the back of his mind he cannot explain. You're probably right when you said that someone's worrying and waiting for him back home.
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“The power must come from here, steady your hands and do not let your fingers tremble. Straighten your body, do not forget your breathing…”
You didn't know how it happened. When you realize what's going on, you already had a bow and arrow in your hand, and your wounded patient is now standing so close to you, looming over you like a shadow.
During these days, he abided by all your rules. He pulled his own weight, and he always managed to bring back food for the both of you. At first you want to refuse, you feel that it is not right to take a wounded man’s ration. However, he made it clear that he intentionally hunts and gathers food for two, so you do not have to hunt for yourself.
Such gestures are overwhelming to you, but you do not have the heart to refuse. So when he asked if you wanted to learn how to use bows and arrows, you only hesitated for a minute before you gave in to his warm and gentle amber eyes.
It's baffling how he managed to turn your life upside down in just a few days, and before you even knew it, he already had control over everything. It's infuriating, it’s making you feel something unfamiliar to you, but every time you want to complain, you find yourself mute under his patient and gentle gaze.
“______. You’re not paying attention, aren’t you?”
Waking up from your stupor, you blinked a few times and stuttered. “W-What?"
“You’re lost in your thoughts again.” The handsome warrior stepped away from you with a doting smile. “I think it's enough for today. You're probably tired.”
You wanted to say no, but his teasing smile stopped you. You had no choice but to go along with him and drop your arm that is holding the bow. Following him, you started to notice his wide shoulders, muscled biceps, and slim waist. The way the light of the tsawke makes his skin glisten, showcasing his rich and dark colors.
You thought you were discreet in your staring until he paused, making you bump into his back. Wincing, you hissed. “Hey, why did you stop? Your back is hard as rock…”
“Maybe if you weren't gawking at me, you wouldn't bump into me.”
“I wasn't gawking!” Feeling flustered when you got caught, your face heated. You looked at the trees to avoid his eyes. With your heart racing, you added. “How would you even know I'm looking at you, maybe I was looking at the scenery!”
The handsome warrior turned around, looking at you from above with his teasing smile. Both of you know the truth, but there's no way you’d accept defeat so easily.
Crossing his arms, he leaned on the nearby tree and said. “I’m the scenery.”
Your eyes bulged in shock. Everyday, your perception of the younger man just keeps getting refreshed as the day you spend with him increases. “Narcissist! So what if I’m looking at you?”
He looked at you, amusement clear in his eyes. You watch him straighten his body and begin walking back to your marui. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, y’know. I’ve heard you comment about my looks so many times already.”
What the hell is he talking about? With frantic steps, you caught up with him and demanded an answer. “Are you delirious? When did I even comment on your looks? Are you sure you are not imagining things with your narcissism?”
Picking up a fruit in the basket, he tossed it to you with quick hands. You have no choice but to catch the fruit with confused eyes. He looked you straight into the eyes and said. “You look good, mighty warrior. Are you perhaps mated? If not, how about me?”
With a powerful toss, you threw the fruit in his face. “Shut up, skxawng!!!”
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“Stop. Stop. STOP! You’re doing it wrong!” With a huff, you took the spear from the warrior’s hand. He merely shrugged and motioned for you to show how exactly he is wrong.
Riding your ilu, you dived into the water and skillfully speared several fish and swam back into the surface in just a few seconds. On the spear was a large fish enough to feed the two of you for one whole day. It was on the verge of death as it flailed around. With your prayers to Eywa and quick hands, you ended the life of the poor fish.
The young warrior was staring at you with a smile, not at all ashamed of his lack of skill in spear hunting. You shook your head. “You’re definitely not an oceanic na’vi.”
“You speak as if the color of our skin does not prove enough that I'm not an aquatic na’vi,” He took the fish from you with a chuckle, not caring if his hands get blooded as long as yours does not.
“Well, I cannot guess the great mother’s thoughts when she created the na’vi. Who knows if there's oceanic people with skin colors similar to yours?”
The warrior paused. He waited for you to walk side by side with him before he responded. “Each na’vi from different habitats will develop physical attributes suited for their environment. Your skin allows your better integration with the water.”
You hummed. That, you knew. Although you never really have seen much of others na’vi. He was your first encounter with the na’vi with darker and bluer skin color.
“That makes it easier for you to find your clan, doesn't it? I mean we just have to think what place suits your skin color best.”
Both of you laughed as you reached your marui. He began preparing the fish while you sat inside the marui, watching his back. You knew he knew you're looking at him, but he clearly didn't mind. He seems to even enjoy the fact that you cannot deny his physical appeal.
“Have you ever wondered what got you almost killed?” You found yourself asking. You winced, regretting it already as you do not want to sound insensitive. He cannot even remember his name, what more about what happened to him?
“Whoever did it wanted me dead. They targeted my chest, which is where I am most vulnerable aside from my head. They even made sure I didn't get help by letting me sink in the ocean. They're ruthless and are clearly after my life, a blood feud.”
You shivered at the thought. A blood feud. You couldn't help but think. What if these killers are still searching for him? Who are they? Are they na’vi? “What about that small metal piece? Do other na’vi use metal despite it being against the Great Mother’s rules?”
The darker na’vi paused, trying to remember or even formulate ideas. He then walked towards you and sat beside you, face solemn as he took the odd metal piece from the satchel you have woven for him. “I cannot remember what it was, but it feels familiar to me. I must've encountered it before, and knew its effects.”
Both of you had turned silent, each occupied by your own complicated thoughts. His identity and what happened to him is now even a bigger mystery with the origins of this piece of metal at play.
Suddenly feeling exhausted, you leaned on his shoulders and closed your eyes. “Don’t worry too much, young warrior. At least on this island, you’re safe.”
“I know, syulang.”
Standing up straight, you looked at him with wide eyes. Did he just call you syulang?
Chuckling at your reaction, he tilted his head. “What? Can’t call you that?”
“No–yes, i-ah- Pxasìk! I mean, why? Why call me that?”
Suddenly he’s leaning into you, his warm amber gaze holding yours as a smile brightened his already handsome face, watching you as you stumbled on your words.
When his tempting lips hovered over your ears, scorching breath ghosting over your skin, he whispered. “You remind me of a flower. The one under the tsawke, all alone in a wide grassland, standing tall and mighty against the breeze.”
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As days became a blur, you realized how your life had completely changed with the young warrior’s presence in your life. The once comforting chill of the night as you sleep alone has become rather uncomfortable in the absence of his warmth next to you. The once promising future of solitude and peace has become bleak; something to dread about as you hear his hearty laughter, his teasing voice, his steady breaths in the dead of eclipse.
You cannot pretend that something didn't change. You cannot act as if you actually didn't enjoy the freshness he had brought into your life. He changed your life forever, and for the better. He showed you a lot of things you have never seen before, and for a moment you thought this could go on forever.
You cannot fool yourself that it’ll stay forever that way.
He will regain his memories. Once he does, he’ll leave you and you’d be alone again. You knew how it would end, like a chasm that will devour you whole; a quagmire that is slowly pulling you in.
“It’s unlike you to be so quiet. What's going on?” he plopped next to you as you gazed at the gentle waves of the ocean. You shook your head as you chuckled.
“Can’t I appreciate the ocean in silence?”
“Of course you can, but I want to hear your voice. It's boring if you're not chattering nonstop.”
You snickered, trying to hide the pang of pain you felt inside. You know he's looking at you. He’s studying you, hoping to understand what's bothering you. But how can you say it's him that's bothering you? That it's him that's making you this miserable?
“I’m okay. I’m just thinking about life y’know? Eywa’s plans for me. ”
He hummed, turning towards the ocean. He knew you weren't telling the truth, but he doesn't know if he had the heart to ask for the truth anyway. So he just hummed, indulging in your presence.
“I also wonder what’s my future. But I don't even remember who I am, so what's the use?”
You turned to him, tracing his features with your gaze. He met your gaze, searching, hoping, expecting something. You didn't know what it was, so you offered what you thought would be the best answer. “You’re an excellent na’vi. Eywa’s plans for you will be grand, trust in her to guide you into the right path.”
“But will you be there, syulang?”
“I don't know. Will I?”
“I sure hope so. I cannot imagine a life without you constantly in my ear.”
“You skxawng, did you just call me loudmouth?”
“I don’t know. Did I?”
With a laugh, you smacked his shoulder. When you're about to pull your hand back, he reached for it and held it tightly. You watched him as he played with your fingers. You can feel the heat radiating from his palm, so warm and strangely comforting. You didn't say anything. He didn't either.
So you indulged. Indulged in the fantasy that this is a promise of forever. That he wanted you to be in his life, in his future. That there's more for the two of you, and not just a fleeting encounter that he will remember fondly as he talks about his past.
You remained like that for a long time, holding each other’s hand as you watched the ocean as the sky turned dark.
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It was deep into the eclipse when you realized that the space next to you was empty. The first thing that came to mind was that he had regained his memories and left while you slept. As fear began to seize your heart, you noticed his makeshift bow and arrow beside the bed. Your once racing heart settled down, but as it did, another question popped into your mind.
Wait. Why am I so afraid that he had left?
“Did I wake you, syulang?”
You had no time to dwell in your thoughts when the warrior appeared in the entrance of your marui, holding your spear. It seems that he came from the outside, evident from the cold scent of water and foliage.
“Where have you been?” You asked groggily, trying to sit up from the bed, but the handsome warrior gently pushed you back by your shoulders.
“No, don't sit up, continue sleeping okay? I just went outside to check since I heard some animal noises.” He placated you.
Yawning with closed eyes, you said absent-mindedly. “Don’t do it next time, it's dangerous.”
“I know, syulang. Go back to sleep."
“M’kay…”
Unbeknownst to you, the warrior remained seated beside you, staring at your face as he traced your features with his eyes. He didn't know when it started, but his heart that seems so anxious to leave now has its enthusiasm waned.
You began occupying his mind, your silly little expressions and when you bicker with him over little things. Slowly, regaining his memories was no longer his first priority. You became his first priority.
He didn't know what it meant. He didn't know a lot of things. Heck, he didn't even know who he was. He should've been anxious, he should've been more enthusiastic to search for his origin, but your companionship made him forget that he’s a lost man. The thought of leaving can easily be erased by a silly little smile from you.
Syulang. Oh, syulang.
In fact, he wasn't simply just checking out any predators outside. He went inside because he remembered something. A whistle or cry for something. A muscle memory. He had tried to use it multiple times, hoping that someone that could lead to his origin would pop out. He had been doing it recently, every night, hoping for some result.
He succeeded tonight. After a few calls, a large winged creature descended upon the trees. He recognized it immediately. A mountain banshee. His ikran.
The ikran was green in color, with yellow and brown stripes in its body and wings. Petting the winged creature's chin, the young warrior sighed. “Oh Eywa, you’re magnificent. I expected nothing less. Are you my ikran? Am I part of the Tayrangi clan of the Eastern Sea?”
The creature nuzzled into his touch, eyes narrowing at him as if to communicate with his rider.
The two watched each other in silence. Despite his desire to do so, the young warrior refused to fly. He merely patted his ikran’s back, searching for some object that could help him remember. As he continued searching around, his eyes focused on the small string of beads on his ikran’s saddle.
This…?
The young warrior paused as his eyes narrowed, a sense of foreboding rose from his chest before a splitting headache assaulted his senses. He groaned and held his head as his knees buckled due to pain.
His knees hit the ground with a loud thump, but the pain paled in comparison to the headache he’s feeling.
Think about her. Think about syulang. Don't push yourself, think about her, she’s still waiting for you back at the marui…
He didn't know how long he had kneeled on the ground before the pain gradually weakened until it became non-existent. When he regained his senses, his ikran had disappeared. Who knows where it flew.
Wiping his sweat and dirty knees, he looked at the dark sky and began walking back to your shared marui. He was excited to tell you about the progress he had made. That's he’s almost there in figuring out his identity.
But he cannot shake off this voice telling him to not say anything, telling him that if he broke the stability between the two of you, everything would change. And he’s not yet ready for change.
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“Think about it, warrior. How else would you get hurt so badly if not for a woman?” You held your chin as you watched him ground several fruits and collect the sap with a pottery jar.
“You’re asking me if I snatched a promised woman and now her intended mate wants me dead?” He sounded like that's the most absurd idea in the world, clearly disgusted with the idea. “You seem to have drunk a lot of fruit sap, coming up with these ridiculous ideas.”
You giggled to yourself, still persisting on purpose to piss him off. “I mean think about it, warrior! Why else would you have a blood feud if not for a woman?”
He looked at you, unimpressed. Closing the jar full of fruit sap, he stood up to pick more fruits from the basket. “Syulang, a blood feud could be for other reasons, aside from snatching a promised woman. Perhaps it is because of clan disagreements.”
Humming, you picked up a small fruit and popped it into your mouth. Your face contorted due to the bitter aftertaste it left in your tongue. “You don't look disagreeable to me. I have a feeling that everyone in your clan adores you. But still it could be because of a w—”
“No. Because if it is, trust me syulang, I’d know.”
You stared at his serious face, you cannot see any falseness in his words. Only confidence in himself. He seems so sure. “How would you know?”
He crossed his arms and leaned against the edge of the net of your marui. “First, I don't go after promised women. I just knew I didn't and wouldn’t. The second reason why I knew it wasn't about me loving a promised woman was because if I already had my heart set on someone, then why would it beat for another?”
Your breath stuttered in your throat as the warrior took your hand into his, gazing at you deeply like you're the only one he sees. You couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't speak. You can only gaze back into him as he gently said to you.
“So syulang, stop worrying about some other woman okay? You're just making yourself unhappy. Here, have some fruit sap, it's good for your skin.”
You know you would be making a mistake by doing this, but you did anyway. You kissed him, pressing your lips against his in a chaste, almost reverent kiss. You know it's something you cannot turn back, but you didn't care. Not when he’s here with you, as warm as the tsawke shining down on you.
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──★ ˙🧷 ̟ !! A/N: this is it! hoped you liked part 1! Any feedback from you guys would be very much appreciated, it keeps me going. 🥹💜
Stay tuned for part 2 (end), everyone! Have a nice day!
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yutarot · 2 months ago
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IN PERFECT SYNC [j.jh smau]
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betrayal [noun]  /bɪˈtreɪ.əl/
1 : the act of dissapointing a persons trust, hopes or expectations.
2 : revelation of something hidden or secret.
3 : failure to keep or honour a promise, principle or cherished memory, etc.
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twelve — betrayal. wc: 1k
café neoro. 4:14pm
if you were to say you weren’t confused by the sudden cafe invitation, you’d be lying.
as you enter the front door, triggering the cafe’s bell to ring, you spot giselle sat in the far corner, biting her nails; a habit she does only when she’s dreading something.
that’s weird.
she spots you, dropping her hands to the table and nodding you over to come and sit with her.
“you’re here!” she squeals, “you’re here..”
the atmosphere is strange, you must admit and there’s something odd lining the air between you. so you begin to drone on about your class in efforts to ease off the weirdness.
“urg, im so sick of my professor just constantly leaving the hall. im literally paying to be here and he can’t even be bothered to stay!” you whine as you set your bag down beside you, sitting opposite giselle on the cafes patchwork coach.
it’s a cute little place, you and the girls come here often to catch up when you don’t see eachother for periods of time in exam season.
but for giselle to ask you here alone? when neither of you have exams for months?
there was something going on.
“honestly, i wish my professor would leave sometimes.” she replies. “she’s so boring!”
you laugh, spending the next 20 minutes complaining about your courses and gossiping about overheard conversations.
that’s until you decide to bring up giselle’s absence from the party the other night.
“where did you even go?!” you ask, too excited for your own good. but you know giselle.
and you know she’s forcing her smile.
“oh, just some room upstairs, no idea who’s. could have been chenles for all i know.” she laughed.
you take a sip of your coffee as you laugh in reply, winking at her jokingly. “so, who was the guy? was he good at yk… that stuff..”
she giggles as she nods. but her smile withers.
“look, yn.”
the sudden change of atmosphere brings you right back to the feeling of the beginning of your meet-up, the cold, stark vibe of something being wrong, of something eating away at whatever is between you.
“i told myself that i should be honest with you, so i will.” she continues.
“what is it, giselle? you’re scaring me.”
she’s silent for a moment.
the silence kills.
but you soon find out that it isn’t the silence that is killing you, its the thought that in these mere seconds, giselle is counting down the moments until she tells you who it is.
until she knowingly breaks your heart.
“it was jaehyun. the guy i slept with was jaehyun.”
your mind feels heavy, unattached even.
how could she do this? after everything you went through. she was the one who was there the entire time, she was the one who comforted you, telling you how he was in the wrong and how he deserved the worst kind of punishment for what he did.
and yet, in the end, she must have never truly believed it. because now she has betrayed your trust.
and she has betrayed you.
“what?” you can feel your vision going foggy, tears welling up in your eyes.
“i know, i know. i shouldn’t have, but can you really blame me?”
“yes!” you raise your voice, and your thankful that the cafe is near empty. “giselle…”
there’s a pause of silence as she lets you figure out what you want to say.
but you continue. “you know what he did to me. you hugged me as i cried when i found out. i had no friends because of him, none! all the girls in highschool hated me giselle, do you know how that feels?”
you’re crying at this point, but she listens, watches as you burst into tears.
“do you know how it feels to find out your bestfriend had been shit-talking you to all the girls just so he could get in their pants?! he had used me as a pickup line giselle, he had embarrassed me, telling girls he thought i was ugly, annoying, that he only tolerated me to make himself look better, all so that they wouldn’t get jealous! do you know how that feels?”
“…no.”
“so why would you do that?” you quieten down, almost to a whisper as you struggle to get your words out. “you know how much he hurt me, about how i can never be friends with half the girls in this college because to this day they still laugh and point. and yet, you don’t care about any of that.”
“it was one night, yn.”
“and yet you still felt that that one night was important than my feelings. how do u think im going to look when people find out my best friend has slept with him? i already look stupid enough!”
“yn, noone will know, i promise.” she replies.
“i know. that’s enough.” you stand up, leaving giselle sat there as you make your way to the door as you let the tears fall.
you feel 18 again, you feel the eyes, the giggles as you would when u walked down the hallway with jaehyun, unaware of what he had been doing behind your back.
jaehyun was probably so smug right now, knowing he had not only used you in highschool, but in college too, and with your own bestfriend on top of all that.
so now, you hate him even more that you ever did before.
you’ll never understand him, you’ll never know why he did what he did.
but there’s one thing you’ll know you will always do:
you will always hate him.
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mlist — next
notes; so!.. i guess the truth is out now….. hope u guys don’t hate me too much! 😄😄 (btw there won’t be a chapter tmr bc im busy all day and don’t have the next chapter written, the next update will be sunday! sorry😞)
taglist — open; @https-yeonjun @chenlesfavorite @therealbobbyshloby @f6llsun @jkslvsnella @nanaxwi @cloudmrk @neocrashed @vernonburger @vividwritess @taeeflwrr @mmjhh1998 @cyjzzl @stareaa @minkyuncutie @mrkleelvr @dudekiss3r @nattan127 @slayhaechan @jaeveil @tynlvr @mslora @nosungluv @grassbutneo @dokyriu @girlz4jaem @axo-l0tl @yyangj3lly @solvrse @m1ng1swife @gentlepeach @xiuriii @soobinbunnie5 @tocupid @apolloxxivmin @ctrlstar @gyuguys @tokitosun @i-kai @flamingi @mrkleelvr @en-dream @queenrachelpink @ssweetreveries @swanyvess @flaminghotyourmom @hyuck-me @cryingforjae @hizhu @starfilledgaze
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chrysalind · 7 months ago
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last chance
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pairing: kuroo tetsurou/reader wc: 860 tags: pre-relationship, fluff, high school setting (third year), bad flirting, kuroo is really trying
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"What'd you get for number 8?" Kuroo asks as he leans over you.
"Umm," you tilt your head and the golden light of the late afternoon sun flickers across your cheek. "I think I put down 1868 to 1912."
"Wait, seriously?" He claps his hand on his forehead. That's five questions he's probably got wrong now, not to mention he'd barely finished writing his second essay, meaning the maximum possible grade he could get is...
"I hate history," he grumbles, trying to redirect his train of thought from its depressing destination. "I'm never taking it in university."
You sigh ruefully. "I feel the same way about chemistry. The moment I walked out of yesterday's exam, every piece of knowledge about thermodynamics just—" you wave your hand near your temple, "—vanished."
"Bet you're glad I gave you my notes though, right?"
The train doors slide open and a crowd of students from another school shuffle in. His legs brush against yours as he tries to make more room around him.
"Only because I gave you my English notes," you counter dryly, moving your bookbag onto your lap as a freckled teen slides into the seat beside you. The small plastic Keroppi charm on its side swings erratically against your thigh.
"A more than fair trade," he reasons. "Especially since I was getting the highest mark in chem, while you were just below Takaichi in English."
"Takaichi's mom is from New Zealand," you reply, with a roll of your eyes. "He's been practically fluent since he was born. Plus, your handwriting sucks, so you get points taken off for that."
Kuroo snorts, but has no choice but to concede. After all, he can barely read his own notebooks from last semester.
He watches as the Tokyo cityscape rushes past, still thrumming with life, even as the sun dips low in the sky. It's hard to imagine an afternoon where he won't be packed into the subway at this time, with his loosened Nekoma uniform tie around his collar, and your occasional company on the afternoons he's able to catch you at the school entrance.
His short spell of mourning is interrupted by the announcer as the train pulls into a familiar station. You both exit onto the platform and make a beeline towards the escalators.
"I'm not staying in Tokyo," he says, as you're halfway through the barriers.
Keroppi's face smacks against your zipper as you pause. "Oh?"
"I'm going to Osaka," he continues, weaving through the crowd. You fall into step beside him and there's a second in which Kuroo thinks he's vastly overestimated his importance in your life.
"That's..." He watches as a crease forms between your brows. "I thought you were going to Tokodai."
"Nah," he says, re-adjusting the strap of his bag. "I think it'd be good to gain some independence, you know?"
"Right," you say, tucking your Suica away. The sound of the city fills in the quiet that follows as you step out of the station.
Truthfully, Kuroo had been hoping for something—anything—more than the pensive silence that now settles between the two of you as you both walk the last few blocks of your high school era. But as you round the corner, the weight of the moment only grows heavier.
From his peripheral vision, he can tell you're sulking with your lips turned down in a pout that you probably aren't even aware of. And even though you've never admitted it to anyone, he's not oblivious to the way you can barely hold his gaze for more than two seconds, or how you linger at the intersection when you part ways.
"You know," he says, as you both stand before a crosswalk, "this is probably your last chance."
Your eyes flash up at him.
"What do you mean?"
He straightens up.
"Your last chance to admit that you're in love with me," he blurts. He had meant for it to come out a bit smoother, maybe aiming for a kind of teasing tone, but something had gone horribly wrong in the last second. Embarrassingly, he feels his own cheeks grow hot at the boldness of his declaration.
The crosswalk indicator changes, but you're both frozen in place.
You blink, looking absolutely bewildered, and he begins to fear that he's broken you.
And then an odd sound emerges from your mouth—a short snicker, followed by an open burst of laughter. Your giggle seems to carry over the noise of the traffic around you and Kuroo tries very hard not to die right then and there.
Instead, he forces himself to laugh along. How could he have miscalculated so bad?
He's sure he'll remember this moment for many sleepless nights ahead.
"Don't worry," you say later with the world's most bemused smile, as you near his building. "It's not my last chance."
Kuroo works up the courage to look you in the eye.
"After all, I still have our graduation ceremony."
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girlgenius1111 · 11 months ago
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i could change up my body and change up my face
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arsenal x platonic young reader
warnings: this discusses an eating disorder. this is based off my experience; everyone's are different.
You thought you were doing the right thing. The healthy thing. You'd always been a more muscular player, and it hadn't really bothered you. Football players varied in size; it didn't mean anything for how good you were. You debuted for Arsenal at only 18, and people had a lot to say; most of it you could handle. The comments on your weight, on how if you were smaller, you'd be faster, better, were what caused the problems.
It spiraled quickly; one day you were skipping dessert, and the next you were skipping entire meals. It was hard to balance: eating enough that you didn't feel like you were going to pass out on the pitch, but not so much that you could barely look at yourself in the mirror. Evidently, it was harder than you thought. You only managed it a few weeks before people began to catch on that something was up.
Your teammates had noticed that your behavior was off recently. You were less talkative, and you saw everyone outside of training a lot less. A few of them had discussed it, and had decided to keep an eye on you, see if things got worse.
When you passed out during training, everyone thought you were joking. It had recently become a popular prank; you and Kyra pretending to be hurt, scaring everyone, before popping back up. It was a bit of a boy who cried wolf situation: when you went down, a few people glanced over, but thought you were kidding, especially because no one had been near you. It was a hot day, though, and you'd barely eaten. You were lightheaded before you got out on the pitch, but once training began it only got worse.
You managed to last through the first part of the scrimmage, before you had to stop, putting your hands on your knees and breathing hard. Black spots dotted out your vision, and the world spun gently around you. You though you heard Katie make a joke about you already being winded, but you were falling to the ground.
In fairness to your teammates, it only took about 10 seconds before they realized something was actually wrong. Katie and Lia watched you go down, and something about it just looked wrong; you crumpled too easily for it to have been on purpose. Swearing, they both rushed to your side, rolling you onto your back.
"Fuck. Medics!" Katie called, kneeling down beside you.
"Hey, y/n, can you hear me?" Lia called, lightly tapping your cheek. Your eyes were shut, and you were completely limp on the ground. At her prompting, though, you groaned, shifting slightly and opening your eyes. Both girls sighed in relief. You blinked up at them in confusion. Why were you on the ground? You tried to sit up, but both girls stopped you.
"No, stay here, we need to make sure everything's alright," Lia said, as the physios finally arrived. A small crowd had gathered around you and your cheeks flushed red at that realization. You'd messed up. No one was going to let it go that you'd passed out. None of your protective, caring, overbearing teammates would let it go until they knew why this had happened. And they couldn't know: if they knew, they'd make you stop.
That was really all you could think about: how possibly you were going to play this off. As they got you up, after you blatantly refused a stretcher, and walked you slowly into one of the medical rooms, your mind was flashing from excuse to excuse.
"What are you feeling?" John, the head physio, asked, once you'd settled on the exam table. He was looking at you carefully, as if he could see right through you; it was incredibly unnerving.
"Just a little dizzy, I don't think I drank enough water," you replied. John looked at you searchingly for a minute, before asking another question.
"Did you eat breakfast today?" he questioned, eyes not leaving yours. It was the way he asked; not what did you eat, but did you eat, that told you that you were caught. You knew they'd notice that you'd lost weight, you all had to do weigh ins to correctly meal plan. You just hadn't noticed a difference, and assumed there wasn't much of one. But the way that John was looking at you, it must have been more than you thought. Enough that they'd noted it, and enough that they seemed to know what they were dealing with.
"Yeah of course," you lied. He could tell.
"I'm gonna step out for a minute, alright?" With that, he headed out of the door, leaving you to stress in the room. You didn't know where he was going, and it terrified you that he could come back and blindside you with anything at any moment.
You heard voices in the hall, and prepared yourself for an onslaught of different physios, and maybe the club psychologist. You weren't really sure what your plan was, and you didn't have anytime to settle on one before the door was opening.
It wasn't John, or a different physio. Not the club psychologist either. It was Leah and Katie, both walking into the room with incredibly worried looks on their faces. Briefly, you thanked god that Kim was out; she had this specific look she gave, and whenever you got it from her, you told her whatever you had previously been trying to hide. The odds of being able to lie to Leah and Katie weren't great, but better than if Kim had been there too.
"Using me to slack of training, McCabe?" you tried to joke. Neither girl cracked a smile.
"We talked to John. Do you want to tell us what's going on?" Leah responded, ignoring your comment.
"I don't know what you're talking about. I just got dehydrated, I'm fine." Apparently, you'd decided to play dumb. A strategy you weren't so sure of as you tried to hold eye contact with Leah.
The blonde sighed, taking a seat in one of the chair in the room. Katie remained standing, arms crossed over her chest. You were expecting tough love; harsh words that told you to get your shit together. You weren't expecting Leah's voice to soften, for her to look at you like you were fragile.
"Y/n, we want to help you."
"I don't need help with anything," you insisted.
"Then why have you lost a significant amount of weight in the past 3 weeks? Why did you just pass out on the pitch? And why haven't we seen you at any team dinners recently?" Katie replied. Her expression was hard, but you knew it was masking her worry.
You didn't know what to respond to that, honestly. You'd been expecting them to tiptoe around the issue for a while, try to get you to admit to it. In the back of your mind, you wondered if maybe you weren't in trouble. Maybe what you'd done was wrong, was bad, but it didn't mean they were mad at you, like you'd expected.
"Listen kiddo, we know there's a problem. There isn't anything you can say that will make us think there isn't."
"I don't know what to tell you. There isn't anything going on. It's not on me if you guys are seeing things that aren't there," you replied, crossing your arms. Both girls sighed, and exchanged looks.
"Okay, y/n, if that's how you want to play it. If everything is fine, you can come over for dinner with me and Lia tonight." Leah told you.
"I can't-" you began.
"Be there at 6," she interrupted, her tone leaving absolutely no room for argument.
-----
You took a seat at the table, putting your hands underneath to hide how much they were shaking. You really didn't want to be here, but there was literally no way to get out of it. If you didn't show, you expected Leah, Lia, Katie, and probably half the team to show up to your house. You didn't want to draw anymore attention to the issue that you already had, so you just needed to get through this dinner, eat the food, and go home.
How hard could it be?
"We made your favorite," Leah told you, setting down a full plate in front of you.
"We?" Lia questioned, smirking at the other woman.
"Okay, Lia made your favorite, I sat nearby and kept morale up." You only weakly smiled in response, your attention still on the seemingly massive amount of food in front of you. If they noticed, they left it, taking seats on either side of you.
They kept the conversation going, with you contributing very little. Instead, you pushed the food around your plate, taking bites every so often. You weren't saying anything, forcing every bite down your throat. Lia and Leah watched you carefully, seeing the way every time you brought the fork to your mouth, you looked like you were in pain.
You could have done this meal normally. It was just that you'd had to eat lunch with the team after training, and the food in front of you was food that had practically haunted your nightmares in the last few weeks.
By the time you'd gotten halfway done with your plate, you were close to tears. The conversation had died out, and the older women were watching you as the fork shook in your hand.
"Y/n," Leah said softly, placing her hand over yours to stop it from trembling.
You let out a deep exhale, putting your face in your hands.
"I'm sorry," you said, voice muffled. You felt horrible. Truly, completely, horrible. All you could think about was the calories you'd consumed, and the fact that there was literally no way for you to deny this anymore. It was terrifying; the recognition from the others that you had a problem made it all the more real to you.
A hand was on your arm, pulling you away from the table. You went with it, standing and following Leah out of the kitchen. She led you to the couch, sitting down in the armchair across from you. Lia came in too, placing a glass of water on the table, before sitting down on the next to you. You were staring intently at the rug, following the pattern in it across the floor, instead of looking at either of the other people in the room.
"You don't need to apologize, y/n. You're not in trouble, and we're not mad at you." Leah stated cautiously. You remained quiet. "Can you tell me when this started?"
You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking for a minute.
"Neither of us are going to judge you for anything you tell us. And we aren't going to tell anyone what you say, as long as you let us get you help," Lia promised, and you found yourself looking up at her, blinking back tears. Her face was open, kind, and you felt yourself opening your mouth and beginning to talk.
"It's only been like a month."
"Did something happen that caused it?" Lia questioned.
“I'm not really even sure what happened. I know I shouldn't read comments on social media but I did and I couldn't stop and all of a sudden..." you trailed off.
Both girls sat in silence for a minute, clearly thinking hard about what they wanted to say.
"We'll talk to the club psychologist, and we'll get you in therapy. We'll get you better, and everything will be fine," Leah said, trying to project confidence. You knew she was just trying to help; outline a plan for you, let you know that there was a fix.
It wasn't that easy, though. The way she said it, like it was just a matter of going to therapy, and then it would be all better, made you inexplicably angry. Clearly, she didn't understand how hard this would be.
"It's not that fucking simple Leah," you said bitingly, and both girls looked at you in surprise.
"Y/n, I know it's not-"
"No, you can't just say that. List out 2 steps and make it seem like it'll be easy. It's going to be impossible, and I don't even want to-" you cut yourself off, jaw snapping shut.
"You don't even want to what, y/n?" Lia asked, eyebrows pinched in confusion.
"I don't want to stop. I don't think I can, I don't think I'm strong enough," you said, voice cracking over the last few words. Just as quickly as it had arrived, your anger had disappeared, leaving your eyes stinging with tears.
Before you knew what was happening, Leah was crossing the space in between you, sitting down on your other side, and pulling you into a bone crushing hug. The force of it knocked the air out of you slightly, leaving you to hold tightly to the stability that Leah brought.
"I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't mean to make it sound like it would be easy; I know it won't be," she paused. "Alright, I don't know what it will be like, because I haven't gone through this, but I promise you, you are strong enough to get better.
"And you don't have to do it alone; we'll be here, whatever you need," Lia cut in from your other side, sounding earnest. They wanted to help, so badly. It shouldn't have surprised you, how much they cared, but it did. It always did.
-----
Lia had told the truth. Every member of the team, even if they didn't know exactly what was going on, helped you in some way.
Leah and Lia had you over for dinner most nights; their support was silent, but there all the same. They didn't make a big deal of it if you finished your meal, or if you didn't. They trusted that you were trying.
Katie took your phone one day, wordlessly grabbing it out of your hands and disappearing. When she came back with it, you found the comments on all your posts limited to people you followed.
Alessia ate lunch with you, every day, no matter how long it took. She talked to you to, about her experience, but never made you feel like you had to tell her anything in return. It helped more than you could express, knowing that you weren't alone, that someone knew what you were going through.
Viv grocery shopped for you, when she figured out it was something you struggled with. She always bought too much, but she always gave you options. When things started to get easier, Viv still took you grocery shopping. It was her way of checking in without making you talk, seeing how you were doing by how overwhelmed you got.
You were partially right; it wasn't easy, but you were strong enough. And when you weren't feeling like you were, your teammates stepped up and were strong where you weren't. You could do it, you could recover. You weren't sure if you would have been able to by yourself, but it didn't matter, because you weren't.
-----
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mindfulstudyquest · 8 months ago
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❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝘆
organization: i know it's the most trivial advice in the world, but i swear it works. before doing anything, i take my planner and review everything i have to do, i divide the study by subject, amount of things to study and review spaces for exams. realistically, you can't expect to do it all in one day, but a good plan could almost allow you to sleep at night!
a clean workspace: i can't fucking concentrate if there's a mess aroud me, i get distracted easily, even by dust, so before i start studying i always deep-clean my desk. i know that not everyone can afford a personal and quiet place to study in their houses, so try to find yourself a small angle where you can really focus.
go to study in a library / café: i didn't believe it at first, but it's actually useful. if you have the opportunity to go to a library or a café after school ( or near your house ) do so. being surrounded by people who are studying like you really helps to focus, you'll be less inclined to get distracted and procastinate. i would feel uncomfortable using my phone in a library with other people who are doing their work while i'm sitting there scrolling on tumblr.
breaks: ik ik, not very blair waldrof, hermione granger, spencer hastings, rory gilmore of me, isn't it? but is it worth it. sometimes i end up having really bad headaches from studying and, even if i keep studying, the quality of my work decreases significantly. breaks are fundamental. i would not recommend using social networks for your beak, because they litteraly drain your attention, rather do your skincare, prepare yourself a snack ( eating is important! it's what makes you focus ), read 10 pages of your book, dance a little bit in your room, do stretching, go outside and buy some mint chewingum, something like that.
EAT!: girls, boys and theys, we know. i honestly think that almost every person that craves academic validation ends up developing a sort of eating disorder. it's not even the food, is the fact that you are too busy studying that you forget to eat, ignoring stomach cramps, or the fact that you didn't get that answer right and now you don't feel like you deserve the lunch. i understand bc i AM like this, like you. but think about it: you need to do it in order to survive ( but this is secondary to the grades, right? ) and to keep your brain active. you can't walk around with blurred vision because you haven't eaten or drunk for fourteen continuous hours. i swear that eating like a normal human being helps you to keep going.
sleep: same thing as eating, but with our terrible sleeping schedules. i know that school is toxic so we end up finishing our homeworks at 2 am everyday ( if we're lucky ) but when you have the chance, take a nap and recover.
repeat things as if you were explaining them to someone: this is litterally the fastest way ever to learn fundamental concepts when you're studying. imagine that you're talking to a friend that doesn't know anything about the subject that you're studying and try to explain the topic to them. finding simple words for a difficult topic will help you understand it thoroughly, on this basis you can then build an articulated and more academic speech. repeat things out loud, doesn't matter if you look crazy, you already are <3
check and organize your notes the same day: i never have time to take proper notes in class, so i review them as soon as possible, with the lesson still fresh in mind. it really helps me understand the subject and makes the further study much easier.
watch youtube videos: youtube is my favourite class. sometimes teachers are dumber than students and you, who don't have a degree in that subject and are tackling a topic for the first time, don't understand a damn thing. ofc not!! sometimes professors are terrible at explaining stuff, but fazal from pakistan isn't. i passed my physics class with a 10/10 thanks to an indian guy on youtube. documentaries and yt videos are a simple and nice way to understand better topics and do insights for extra credits.
delete social media: i'm gonna do another post specifically for this.
"STUDY!" wallpaper: last but not least, the dumbest yet the smartest advice, set as lockscreen a white / black / whatever background with a big fat "STUDY!" written on it. everytime you're about to pick up your phone and procastinate the wallpaper will scold you.
hope this was useful or at least fun to read byee
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tropes-and-tales · 2 years ago
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Five Times Vigilante Definitely Does Not Have Feelings (and the One Time He Does)
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Characters:  Adrian Chase/Vigilante x f!reader
CW:  Crude language; yearning.
Word Count:  3982
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Adrian Chase will tell anyone:  he doesn’t have emotions like people do.  He doesn’t feel sad or angry or embarrassed.  When Peacemaker gave him the nickname “Thimble,” he certainly didn’t cry.  When Peacemaker was sent to prison, he certainly didn’t feel lonely.  
Not having emotions is what makes him a more evolved human.
And yet, when ARGUS springs Peacemaker and sets up a black ops outfit in Evergreen, Adrian finds himself toeing the line of feelings.  He doesn’t have emotions like people do, but he comes awfully close a handful of times…until he crosses the line entirely.
The Time Vigilante Definitely Does Not Feel Vulnerable
As the Vigilante, Adrian gets hurt all the time.  He’s become proficient at stitching up his own wounds.  His body is littered with the scars of his own handiwork.
But when Goff tortures him for information, and when the ARGUS team comes to his and Peacemaker’s rescue, he finds himself missing half of a pinkie toe.  It’s the most important toe on the human body, and he’ll probably never walk again…and no one seems to care.
Except for you.  In the van as they return to headquarters, you sit across from him, watching him as he studies his mangled foot.  You murmur something that sounds sympathetic, but he barely hears it over Peacemaker laughing at him.
At headquarters, you look at him and jerk your head in the direction of the back office.
“I can stitch you up, if you want,” you offer. 
He starts to shake his head, but the mean blonde woman—Harcourt, her name is—makes an offhand comment about your superior patch-up abilities, so he accepts your help.  He limps painfully behind you, follows you into a room that has been converted into a rough sort of exam room and budget clinic.
“Hop up on the table,” you tell him, and even though he doesn’t trust you—or any of your team—he does as you say.  It’s clumsy.  He hurts in a hundred different places:  his half-amputated toe, his electrocuted crotch, all the scrapes and bruises from the fight with Cobra Kai. 
“I won’t take off my mask,” he warns you.  “I take my secret identity very seriously.  If you saw my face, I’d have to kill you.”
“Duly noted,” you reply dryly.  “But I only need to see your foot.”
He pulls off his boot and regards his mangled half-pinkie toe sadly.  You pull on a pair of latex gloves and turn on a bright lamp, angling it at his bare foot.
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” you say as you prod the wound gently.  “In fact, you really didn’t lose anything but a couple layers of skin.”
“The blade was as dull as fuck,” he replies. 
You wheel your stool over to a cabinet, then pull out some supplies:  needle and thread, disinfectant, gauze and tape.  Then you wheel back over to him and set to work.
The mean blonde woman was right—you’re quick, efficient.  He looks down at your bent head as you stitch him up, and he sees that your needlework is better than his own.  He doubts he’ll even have much of a scar once it heals.
But it’s the strange feeling that creeps over him:  makes his vision waver, makes him feel a little light-headed.  Your hands are deft but also gentle.  Adrian can’t remember ever being touched so gently.  Maybe when he was really small.  Maybe his mom was gentle like that when he was so small that he can’t remember it now.  It makes him break out in goosebumps.  He shudders at the touch of your warm hand bracing his foot, and you misunderstand the involuntary gesture.
“Almost done,” you murmur, and a moment later you tie off the last stitch and snip the thread.  You wrap his toe in gauze, pat his knee softly in a reassuring way.  Then you straighten up and ask if there’s any other injuries he needs patched up.
“Goff electrocuted me,” he blurts out.  “With a car battery.”
You look at him, level, but the corner of your mouth quirks in a near-smile.  “You want me to look at that for you?”
“Oh, no.  No.  No, I just wanted to mention it.  I’m not asking you to look at it.”  He’s grateful for the mask; he can feel his face heating up at the idea of taking off his suit in front of you, and the sudden flush confuses him.  Irritates him.  Something about the thought of being exposed makes his stomach churn in a way he doesn’t understand.
You hum thoughtfully, then turn back to the cabinet of supplies.  You rummage around, then pull out a small white tube that you hand him.
“Antibiotic gel for cuts and burns,” you say.   “You can put a cool cloth on…well, any burns you may have.  If there’s blistering, don’t pop them.”
“Okay.”
“And, you know…if you have any lingering side effects of being electrocuted, you should see a specialist.”
Vigilante reaches down and pulls his boot back on, but already his toe feels better.  “What sort of side effects?” he asks.
He looks up at you in time to see that same half-smile.  You peel off your gloves, toss them in the trash.  
“I can imagine where you were electrocuted,” you reply.  “So if those parts don’t typically work the way you’re used to, see a real doctor.”
Adrian Chase is not good at nuance or subtlety.  “Huh?”
You blink at him before you say, “if you can’t get or maintain an erection, see a urologist.”
“Oh.”  He blinks too, behind his visor.  “Okay.”
You turn to leave the room but then glance over your shoulder before you do.  “Thanks for your help tonight,” you say.  “The mission was a success because of you.”
Neither Vigilante nor Adrian Chase ever get any thanks.  He flushes even hotter under his mask, and he grumbles in reply, uncomfortable to be seen, to be recognized for the first time.
To be vulnerable.
The Time Vigilante Definitely Does Not Feel Embarrassed
The next afternoon, he’s at Peacemaker’s trailer, helping him clean up from when the police tossed the place.  They are blasting Guns and Roses, drinking beer…it’s like the old days, almost.
A knock at the door then, and Adrian has only a second to pull on his mask before you stroll in.
“Hey, Chris.  Vigilante.”  You nod in greeting, then reach into your bag to pull out a thick manila folder.  You hand it to Peacemaker.
“Murn wanted me to bring this by.  It’s the latest intel we got from Goff’s place.”  
You stand there as Chris takes the folder and sinks down onto his couch, already paging through the information.  Vigilante stands there too, awkward, so he crosses his arms to keep from fidgeting.  There’s a long stretch of silence once the Guns and Roses record ends, and Vigilante struggles with silence.
“I got hard last night,” he tells you.  “And this morning too.”
“Dude, what the fuck?” Peacemaker sputters.  “She doesn’t want to hear that!”
“She mentioned it last night!”
Peacemaker scoffs, twists his face into an expression of disbelief.  “Yeah, I’m sure she mentioned your dick last night.  Sure.  Okay.  Fantasize much?”
“She did!”
“You seriously need to get laid, dude.  Stop making shit up.”
“He’s not lying,” you tell Peacemaker with a sheepish shrug.  “Though I mentioned it in the context of his injuries and not…some other context.”
“See?”  Vigilante says, and Peacemaker rolls his eyes, makes a jacking-off motion with his hand.
You don’t linger.  You beat a hasty retreat, waving over your shoulder as you leave the trailer, and Peacemaker gives him more hell—calls him weird, calls him annoying.
“No wonder you’ve never had a real girlfriend, dude,” he says as he turns back to his folder of intel.  “You say the creepiest shit the minute a cute girl is around.”
Vigilante doesn’t think about it much more until later.  That night, in bed, he lies awake for far longer than he usually does.  He replays that moment, tries to understand why he just blurted that out.  
He wonders if you would have stayed at the trailer longer if he hadn’t been creepy.  His face burns in the darkness of his bedroom, and his stomach twists painfully as he replays the moment over and over.  He replays his stupid blurting out about his dick, and he has no idea what it means.  He never obsesses over his stupid mouth like this.
If he had feelings like other people, he’d recognize the emotion as embarrassment.
The Time Vigilante Definitely Does Not Feel Despondent (and Comforted)
Adrian gets himself arrested on purpose.  It’s the best way he can help Chris:  get arrested, get booked into the same prison as Chris’ racist supervillain father, then kill said racist supervillain father.
Easy enough.  It’d set Chris free and make his life so much better.  Allow him to move forward and not be bogged down, like Adebayo said.
Adrian fails.  He only manages to make things worse—clues Auggie into his plan accidentally, possibly points law enforcement in Chris’ direction.  So Adrian doesn’t just fail—he fails miserably.
He’s released that night.  He’s surprised at first, but as he changes back into his clothes and collects his personal effects from the guards, he realizes that ARGUS has its sticky fingers in all sorts of things and probably sprung him with just a few keystrokes.
When he leaves the prison, you’re sitting out front in your car.  You lower the passenger window and call out to him.
“C’mon,” you say.  “Harcourt sent me to take you home.”
He’s too upset to even feel bad about his cover being blown.  He climbs into the car.
“I think I made things worse,” he says, and he tries not to cry.  He only wanted to help his best friend (even if he’s not Peacemaker’s best friend).  Somehow he messed up, and it could ruin everything.  
“Okay,” you reply softly.  “It’s okay.”
You drive him home.  He doesn’t give you his address, but you know it—another screw-up, he thinks, getting tangled up with people who easily cracked his secret identity.  You know his name, his face, where he lives.  Some instrument of vengeance he is.  You probably even recognize him from his job at Fennel Fields.
Outside of his apartment, you park, then turn to face him.  In the half-light from the streetlamps, he can just make out your soft smile.
“This entire ops is nothing but mistakes,” you tell him.  “And yet, we’re doing okay.  We’ll figure out how to handle Auggie Smith.  Don’t worry about it.”
He nods, and something about the barest bit of comfort—paired with your smile—makes him turn to face you too.  
“I’m Adrian,” he says, even though you know his name.
Your smile broadens and you say your name, even though he knows it.  You hold out your hand and after a beat he takes it.
“Good to finally meet you, Adrian,” you reply as you shake hands.  
For whatever reason, as low as he feels, he falls asleep that night with a weird lightness in his chest—because he doesn’t dwell on his failure at the prison.  
Instead, he falls asleep with the memory of your smile, your kind words.  Your warm hand in his.
The Time Vigilante Definitely Does Not Feel Protective
The attack on Goff’s house yielded some leads, and the team travels three hours away to take out a nest of Butterflies.  Everyone is exhausted, filthy, and bruised up.  
It’s in the van—you sitting beside Adrian—when you start to nod off.  He catches it the first few times, the way your head dips forward, the way you jerk back awake.  It’s cute, the way you fight sleep, and then it happens.
You fall asleep and you don’t wake up.  Your head drifts towards him, then settles against his shoulder.
Adrian freezes.  
He and Peacemaker—they used to go out together, looking for crimes or bitches or both.  He’s no virgin.  He fucks.  He’s no stranger to touch, and he’s certainly no stranger to women.  And yet…this feels different.  It feels new.
Peacemaker notices.  “You got a new girlfriend, dude,” he points out with a laugh.
Harcourt rolls her eyes at the teasing.  “Leave her alone.  She puts in way more hours than you, asshole.”
“I put in plenty of hours,” he replies, defensive.  “It takes a lot of time to maintain this impressive physique.  Do you know how long I work on my small muscle groups alone?”
Harcourt rolls her eyes again, then returns her attention to her phone.  Peacemaker turns back to where Adrian sits, rigid, as you sleep against him.
“If you get hard, just don’t tell her about it,” he advises the younger man.  “You’ll creep her out again.”
It’s strange, the feeling of your head against him.  It’s not sexy at all, obviously—in fact, it’s a little uncomfortable.  He doesn’t want to move you, doesn’t want to jostle you and wake you up.  Harcourt said you’re tired, and you took a hell of a beating as you fought the Butterflies.  
Adrian has always approached his work as Vigilante from a perspective of vengeance, not protection, so the feeling is strange:  how he wants to let you sleep, how he wants to protect your sleep.  How he wants to make you comfortable.
A quiet falls over the team; the swaying of the van lulls everyone into comfortable silence.  Adrian breathes in carefully through his nose, then shifts his body.  Slowly, carefully.  He leans away from you, allows you to lie against him more.  He changes the angle enough that he can get his arm out from where it’s trapped between your body and his.  He shifts again, gets his arm around you.  Gently moves you—changes it from your head awkwardly pressed against his hard molded shoulder pad to your head tucked against his chest.
You wake, a little, as he moves you.  You blink up at him sleepily, say his name—Adrian, not Vigilante or Vig or V—and your voice is husky with exhaustion.  There’s a questioning lilt to how you say his name, so he shakes his head softly.
“Go ahead and rest,” he says, quiet.  “Everything’s fine.”
You nod, then settle back against him.  It takes only a moment until he feels your breathing slow down, deepen.  He feels your body go heavy and lax against him.  Tucked against his chest, his arm holding you against him, he can smell you, feel how warm you are.  If he moves his head just a little, he can press his cheek against the top of your head.
Go ahead and rest, he thinks.  Everything’s fine.  I’ll keep you safe.
Vigilante has always been an instrument of vengeance, but this is the first time he’s felt protective of anyone.
The Time Vigilante Definitely Does Not Feel Fear
The 11th Street Kids have one chance to eradicate the Butterflies forever:  if they can kill their only food source, the so-called cow, they will eventually all die off.  When they make their final assault on the farm, the team splits up:  Adebayo and Economos stay back, while the warriors—Peacemaker, Vigilante, Harcourt, and you—charge into action.
Whether the cow is killed or not, Adrian doesn’t find out until after the battle is over.  He fights off the onslaught of Butterflies, but for the first time, his attention isn’t entirely on his own fight.
His attention is on you, now, too.  
He manages to keep you in his sightline for the beginning of the fight.  He sees you, admires the sight of you when you’re in your berserker mode:  furious and deadly, well-fitted black suit, guns flashing as you empty clip after clip into the skulls of the Butterflies.  
Then he loses sight of you. 
His chest clenches in an unfamiliar tension, and when he finally catches sight of you again, that tight-chest feeling cedes to something else, something worse:  an ice-cold shard of fear that lances through him, settles in his gut where it sits like a stone.
When he finally catches sight of you, it’s the exact moment you are shot by a Butterfly.
One shot hits your shoulder, spins you around.
Another shot hits you square in the chest, makes you stagger backwards as the force is absorbed by your vest.
The final shot hits you low in the belly, and Adrian (who has studied your gear closely) knows you have little protection there.  The icy fear blooms in him, fills up every bit of him until it feels like it’s in his veins.
He screams your name.  He barely even feels the bullet that hits him (“oh, shoot” he mutters, and tosses a knife behind him to kill his own attacker), but then he stumbles and falls, and he loses consciousness.
He wakes a moment later.  He has no idea how much time has passed, but he manages to get to his hands and knees, then to his feet.  He makes his way to where you fell and he finds you.  
It’s bad.  It’s so bad that the icy fear turns acidic in his veins, makes him burn with fear.  With terror.  You gaze up at him but you don’t seem to see him, and each breath makes a fresh pulse of blood trickle from your mouth.
Adrian has never been very good at social situations.  He never knows the right thing to say and if he does, he doesn’t know the right time to say it.  He wishes these things came more easily to him; if it were Chris here right now instead of him, Chris would know the right thing to say.  He’d know how to keep you awake, how to give you comfort.
All Adrian can offer is what you told him the night he got out of prison, when you drove him home.  Now, as you lie under the night sky, dying in front of him, as he presses one hand against the worst wound to try and staunch the bleeding, he repeats your words back to him.
“It’s okay,” he says, and he says it over and over and hopes you believe it.  “It’s okay.  It’s okay.  It’s okay.”
The Time Vigilante Definitely Feels Love
You have no memory of the fight at the farm.  The last thing you remember is the drive there, but everything after is a blank.  Adebayo stops by when you finally wake up and fills you in on the salient details.  
She tells you how Vigilante—who was also shot, who had been blown up earlier in the day—carried you to safety.  How he kept you from bleeding out, how he held your very life in his hands and kept you from dying.  How hospital security had to separate him from you, once you were laid out on the gurney and being wheeled into surgery.
How he still tried to fight to stay by your side, and how he only failed because of his own injuries and blood loss.
“That man is stupid crazy about you,” Adebayo chuckles with a shake of her head.  “I don’t even think he’s really a psychopath.”
You chuckle with her, wince when the action pulls at the thousand stitches and staples that are keeping you held together.  “He’s not bad, right?”
“We’re literally the Island of Misfit toys,” she replies.  “But yeah, he’s alright.”
-----
Adrian is hospitalized too, and once he’s healed up to a point, he starts sneaking into your room to visit.  It’s not really sneaking—every time he undoes his IV and heart monitor, it sends the nurses into a panic—but after Adebayo’s press conference revealing the existence of Task Force X, the hospital staff is pretty tolerant of his harmless shenanigans. 
He helped ward off an alien invasion, after all.  You both did.
You have to agree with Adebayo.  You’ve never quite believed that Adrian is a psychopath or a sociopath or whatever.  You certainly never believed him when he said he didn’t have feelings or emotions.  The guy is nothing but a walking ball of emotions:  obvious love for his friends, a yearning to belong, a sweet desire to be liked and included.  Sure, he kills without compunction, but he seems to love in equal measure, even if he doesn’t believe he does.
When he visits you, he doesn’t talk about feelings.  He chatters endlessly about his and Peacemaker’s exploits—criminals they’ve busted, ways they’ve destroyed old appliances in the woods behind Peacemaker’s trailer.  He talks about how it was when Peacemaker was in prison, how he kept calling and leaving voicemails to make it seem like everything was normal.  He talks about his job at Fennel Fields, all the terrible customer service stories he has.
He discharges himself against the advice of the doctors (he’s healed enough, he tells you), and you think he’ll stop visiting, but he doesn’t.  He visits every day still, and when you start physical therapy to build up the muscle tone and endurance you’ve lost, he sits in a nearby chair, watching you.  Cheering you on.
Adebayo wasn’t wrong.  You know Adrian has feelings for you.  You’re more socially adept than him, and you’ve had relationships before.  You’ve had crushes and been the object of them.  You guessed his infatuation early on, and you can guess that it’s only grown for him since then.
It probably confuses him, you guess.  You know what love feels like.  What a crush feels like.  All that feeling, in so many places:  the fluttery stomach, the pounding heart, the thoughts that just circle ‘round and ‘round about a single person.
You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have similar feelings for him.  He’s easy on the eyes, sure—but he’s earnest and sweet, a brutal killer with a heart of gold.
You can also guess that Adrian might never make a move.  This has to be unfamiliar territory for him.  You know he’s no virgin (he’s chattered endlessly about his and Peacemaker’s exhaustive threesomes too), but he seems to have no relationship experience.
But your entire short working relationship with him has been give and take.  You stitched him up, comforted him when he was feeling low after his failed attempt to kill Auggie Smith.  He let you rest against him, held you gently as you slept after a mission.  He saved your life, kept you from bleeding out.
Give and take.  The best kind of relationship, in your opinion.
“Hey, Adrian,” you say one afternoon after PT.  You’re exhausted and sore, but you’re quickly approaching your own discharge.  You are healing up nicely.  You have things to look forward to.
“What’s up?” he asks, and he bounces over to your bedside like a Golden Retriever puppy, eager.
“Doctor says I’m good to go in a few days.”
“That’s great!”  His face breaks open in a wide grin that transforms him from nerdy-handsome to downright gorgeous.  “That’s good news!”
You swallow, push down the nerves that flare up.  “I thought maybe we could celebrate.”
“Yeah!”  He grins at you.  “I can call Chris—”
“I thought maybe just me and you,” you cut in, clarifying.  “Just this time.  Maybe we include Chris some other time.”
“Oh.”  The smile falls from his face, and he looks at you.  His brows are knit in confusion.  
No sense in backtracking now.  “Like a date.  Would you like to go on a date with me?”
“Oh.”  A beat.  “With me?  Are you sure?”
“Absolutely.”
What you’re asking him finally sinks in—a beat longer than it might with someone else, but that’s just part of Adrian’s charm.  The smile returns to his face, brighter and wider than before.
“Yeah,” he replies.  “Hell yeah, dude.  I’d love that.”
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qyxzun · 8 months ago
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🕸️┆𝕻𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄.
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╰┈➤ ❝𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘𝐘𝐘𝐘 𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, my name is Y/N L/N. I was bitten by a radioactive spider, and for about two years, I've been the one and only spider woman. I'm pretty sure you know the rest.
Been fighting other bad guys, helping cats off trees, saving plains from crashing into buildings, you know—the basics.
I lost my best friends when I realized one of them was my nemesis.
but that didn't stop me from fighting for the better!
I just wish I wasn't alone. What if there was another universe where someone understood me?
whatever, probably just my imagination.❞
𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐘𝐎𝐑𝐊 𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝟗𝟐𝟔-𝐙, there was you, sleeping in bed so peacefully before your loud blaring alarm on your phone started to ring for the fifth time. You groaned when the sound disrupted your sleep before you finally picked up your phone to check what time it was. your eyes completely widened. You were late for school.
"Shit!" you cursed, pushing yourself off the bed and running to the bathroom to take the quickest bath you could. Taking off your clothes, dosing yourself with the shower's water, and quickly soaping up your entire body. As quickly as you entered, you almost tripped, going out of the shower with a towel wrapped around your soaked body. You ran back to your room, sloppily but quickly putting on your Brooklyn Visions Academy uniform. You still think that school is elitist, but you can't complain for now.
With no time to spare other than lacing up your shoes and taking your unzipped bag, you ran out of your dorm, forgetting to lock the door. You started to quickly jog your way to the school with your bag slung in front of you in an attempt to zip it closed with your papers and work securely inside. Traffic was booming like crazy, which made you groan impatiently. "My luck should really not be affecting my school," you grumbled.
The light finally turned red, letting pedestrians pass. You pushed past multiple people, apologizing when you ran through them as you continued to sprint to the school's entrance. When you finally stepped inside the school, you ran to your locker, put your bag and stuff away, and sprinted so fast to your class before the bell could ring. You arrived just in time, holding your textbooks by the door while a bead of sweat ran down your neck.
You panted, out of breath from running the entire morning, while your professor looked at you, unimpressed that you were late for how many times?
"Tardy again, Y/N. Keep up if you want to pass this year." She said, obviously hinting that you were someone who didn't care about education. Rude.
You nervously walked to your seat with your heavy books in hand while your classmates watched you sit down. Your professor passed by and gave you multiple papers stapled together as your exam. You skimmed through it, and the questions were almost a big blur for you when you saw how hard you should've studied instead of fighting other criminals on a daily basis. You held your mechanical pencil tight, wondering what to write while your other classmates were all silent and focused on the exams, unlike you, who had no idea. You wrote down what you knew, but you still felt anxious. You really didn't want to fail this exam; it could be your last before you would have to move to another school. You liked that option, but your parents worked too hard, climbing the ranks so you could have an easier life once you passed your exams. Since when was life decided by a piece of paper?
Minutes into the exam, suddenly, you heard a loud explosion near the back of your school. It was muffled through the thick walls, yet it was obvious something dangerous had happened. Your spider senses tingled, and you lifted your head abruptly while your class looked around, wondering what that could be while the teacher noticed their confused and worried expressions.
"Everyone calm down! Form a line and carefully leave the school through the front," your professor ordered, yet most students had already started running out of the classroom, ignoring her orders.
You quickly ran out too, pushing past the rest of the students while you navigated back to your locker. You grabbed your bag from inside and forgot to close it, prioritizing the situation at hand as you went to the bathroom.
"Guess I have to do my job again," you sighed while you quickly locked the toilet stall. You opened your bag, your spider suit folded neatly and tucked between your other textbooks inside. You took off your uniform, changing into the tight spider suit swiftly. You made sure to keep your mask securely on; protecting your identity was the most important part of it.
Finally dressed for battle and your bag slung on your back, you climbed out through the restroom's window, flicking multiple webs out of your fingertips. They swiftly stuck to one of the school's large pillars, and they allowed you to swing away quickly. You swung from building to building easily, reaching the back of the school to see seven vehicles crash together, causing a fire to spread throughout the school's background. Multiple police cars and ambulances were parked nearby, with the paramedics taking as many victims as they could on stretchers and transporting them to the ambulance crew.
You saw many policemen trying to save the injured under the rubble and from the fire as well. You knew they could get in the way of your job, so you created a diversion. You shot a web inside the policeman's car, the sticky string immediately reaching and pressing on the accelerator as it slowly moved forward, catching their attention.
"Woah—woah, woah—hey!!" one of them hollered, trying to reach the advancing car alongside his other colleagues. It gave you enough time to reach the exploded area with your webs.
"This is a whole mess," you mumbled to yourself under your mask as you reached another building's wall. You quickly climbed higher and swiftly shot individual webbing from your fingertips, each web reaching pieces of heavy debris on top of the injured. You held and wrapped all five webs around your palm, pulling the rubble off of the victims with your bare hand as your webs carried them to the side.
The concerned police officers ran to the injured with paramedics, yet the fire persisted, causing another explosion near the colliding cars. You were thinking of a plan to somehow save all of these people while you internally grew more anxious.
"What the hell is causing these explosions?" You grunted, frustrated. You loathed seeing people get injured while you tried to think of something. You jumped from the high wall, plunging down as you shot webs toward the heavily injured near the fire. You pulled them close, carrying more than three people while their blood smeared on your spider suit.
You quickly rested their bodies near where the ambulances could see them before you swung back to the high roof of the building. Your spider senses suddenly tingled before you turned around. On the building's edge, you saw the villain behind it all.
"Who the hell is this guy?" You said, looking down to the edge, and saw a lizard... or a goblin? You didn't know. You shot webs once more in its direction, propelling yourself up before you landed a harsh kick in its face. It let out a loud grunt as saliva was knocked out of his mouth. You sent him flying to another building's wall before he collapsed on the ground.
You walked over to it cautiously, a foot on his chest as you stepped on it harder. You glared down at him, looking down at a vile creature who hurt your people. It coughed, its vision blurry before it looked up to you, it started chuckling with your foot on his scales. "We meet again Peter," it said, smirking.
"Who the hell is Peter?" You retorted, raising an eyebrow behind your mask while it looked at you as if you were playing with his head.
"Oh, don't lie now, Peter... I know all about—" The vile lizard was about to continue, but it was cut off when it saw your features more clearly. You had more of a feminine body. Your muscles weren't as built, but you were strong enough to consider its enemy, like Peter. You had bigger hips and smaller shoulders than a man. Not to mention the obvious, your suit wasn't one it recognized. Its expression turned from smug to confused. You weren't the Peter it knew.
With rage blinding its confusion, it growled and grabbed your ankle with its large clawed hand, pulling your foot off its chest as it caused you to almost lose balance.
"Who are you?" It glared, looking at you with disdain and anger. You, on the other hand, were confused about why it didn't know you when you were literally the spider-woman.
"I'm spider-woman? The hero?" You rhetorically responded before it sneered and tossed you to the side of the building. You reacted quickly as you shot webs at its face, blinding it and pulling on the webs before you could hit the wall with its heavy weight. You adroitly landed on the floor again.
"Okay, dude—that's not nice," you pout under your mask while it growled in frustration when your webs blinded its field of vision. The creature almost tore off its eyes, in an attempt to take the sticky web off its face while it bled. The oversized lizard was raging mad before it charged toward you at full speed. You were about to swing burning wreckage to its face with your webs before a sudden brightness appeared from above.
You both looked up in confusion before you suddenly saw a red web hastily tie your green rival into scarlet webbing. It came out of what seemed to be a bright light formed with hexagons while it glitched. You haven't seen anything like it, thinking it could be another threat. "Argh!!!" The creature thundered before you saw what seemed to be another spider-man go through the portal. He promptly punched the lizard's head, blood coming out of its mouth, before it crashed into another building's wall.
The mysterious man stood up once he apprehended the green goblin with his webs. He tied it with his webs effortlessly while you approached him, his head slightly turning to look at you.
"So, like, who are you?" You asked, putting a hand on your hip before he turned around to fully face you.
"Classified," He spoke with a low tone, keeping it short and cold. You hummed, thinking of who he could be.
"You Peter? That green, uh, creature was looking after Peter or something. I don't know," you shrugged while the man was still silent, like he was judging you secretly with that glare.
You cleared your throat, a bit uncomfortable that he wasn't responding to your question. "Well, anyway, gotta deal with the fire and stuff. Gotta go blue panther." You were about to walk to the fire, mostly to save more victims before he stepped in front of you.
"It's alright, kid. I'll take it from here." He responded, his tone still cold, while his hand was slightly raised, telling you to stand down. Your spider senses tingled after he said that. You looked up behind him as you saw the green goblin manage to escape his webbing and cause more havoc behind the tall, muscular spider-man. In a fit of rage, the creature threw a burning truck in your direction.
"Oh, shit—look out!" You yelled, shooting a web at the spider-man's chest before pulling him away from the landing truck. You quickly moved away as well, but suddenly hissed in pain and fell near the fire. You groaned when you saw your burned forearm and noticed that your spider-suit was covered in cinders after smelling something burning.
"Puta madre--!" the spider-man growled before claws started to grow out of his hands. With animalistic ferocity, he chased after the goblin, shooting a web on his way to get to him faster. His speed never slowed down as his legs ran faster and faster, almost like a car on a highway.
Meanwhile, you winced when you pushed yourself up before your senses started to go haywire again. You turned around and saw more people in the burning debris while firefighters arrived and started to put out the flames. You hastily followed the spider-man from before by crawling up on top of a very tall building. Your eyes quickly scanned the area, searching for him. You spotted the lizard causing more trouble as it climbed up the building in front of you. His claws dug into the wall, causing more debris to fall, almost hitting more pedestrians. The other spider-man turned his head around, watching as the debris started to rain down on the citizens. He was so conflicted; he was so close to catching the goblin, yet the civilians were in danger.
"Fuck!" The man cursed, shooting a web to catch the debris, yet he failed. He grunted, turning his attention back to his target. He continued to chase the green goblin. You, on the other hand, thought fast and jumped down while shooting multiple webs to make a gigantic spider web to catch all the falling debris. Your webbing was strong enough to carry the heavy rubble and the burning damage before it could hit the others. Once you were sure it was holding everything in place, you shot another web, swinging yourself to the injured, who couldn't move. You picked them up— two on your back and one in your arms. They were barely alive when you gently laid them down somewhere more safe.
Your head lifted when you heard a cry. "M-Mama! Please! Help!!" A child screamed while you put all the victims away near the policemen. You turned your head back, realizing one of them was still stuck in the fire. You didn't hesitate to run back, propelling yourself into the air to see where the kid could be. You then saw her crawling up into a ball, a toy in her arms, while she looked around with tears in her eyes, afraid of the fire. She coughed profusely, almost running out of oxygen, while tears prickled her eyes. Even with the burnt forearm, you quickly and nimbly landed in front of her, picking her up easily while she didn't know what was happening. Yet she held onto you tighter than her toy. You shot another web at a building, pulling the two of you up before swinging away to where it was safe.
When you slowly descended to the ground with the child hugging your neck tightly, you saw a weeping woman on the ground with multiple injuries. Your eyes softened, worried behind your mask. You looked back at the kid, noticing she looked like she could be her child. You approached her. "Ma'am," you called out to her, getting her attention before you put down the kid in front of her. She gasped and brought her into her arms, pulling her into a very tight hug while they both wept.
"Thank you," the woman whimpered before looking up at your masked face. "Thank you for saving all of us." She smiled while sobbing, looking around at the people you saved. Even though they were injured, you managed to save all of them. You nodded your head, smiling behind your mask as you flashed her a thumbs-up.
You heard a thump behind you, hinting that the tall spider-man was behind you before you turned around to see him holding the green lizard with his red webs. "Hey," you said, looking up to him. "Caught the lizard?" As you chuckled, you noticed that he still had that unfazed look on his face. It seemed like he was trying to put up a brave front in front of the crowd. After a brief pause, he cleared his throat before responding.
"Follow me," he ordered with a reserved tone as he shot a web and pulled himself up to a very tall skyscraper. You followed behind him, the wind blowing into your face before you landed gracefully on top of the skyscraper.
There, you saw him tap on something on his wrist before another portal opened, the same bright orange hexagons forming the strange entrance while they rotated slowly. Your eyes squinted from how bright it was, while he still had the same expression as before. He got ready to throw the lizard into the portal, while it struggled and squirmed under his tight webs. "This is not the last time you'll see me, Peter!" It yelled, glaring daggers at you and the tall spider-man, until he was thrown into the portal. It created a short blast before the portal returned to normal.
You were quiet for a bit, not knowing what to say. He then turned around to face you, the portal closing very slowly while he approached you. "I'm from another dimension," he admitted while you gasped dramatically, knowing the obvious.
"You are.?! Woahhhhh.." Your eyes were wide behind your mask. He glared at your sarcasm, crossing his arms as it showed his muscles behind the tight suit.
"Take this seriously, chiquilla," he monotonously replied before clearing his throat and looking away. There was a small pause before he spoke. "You showed great abilities when you saved all those people." As soon as you received the compliment, his eyes shifted back to you while yours lit up with joy. It felt like you were a kid again, basking in the glory of a teacher's praise for acing a test.
He didn't say anything else. He looked down at his hand and slowly formed a fist. You watched him, wondering what he'd be doing. You tilted your head to the side, trying to see what was in his palm when it slowly opened. After a few more moments, he opened his fist.
"A watch?" You looked confusedly before he tossed it to you; you easily caught it, observing it. "What the hell is this for?" You asked, looking back at him. You finally noticed that it was the same watch he had on his wrist.
"You'll feel more at home," he responded stoically. He took the watch and helped you put it on properly. "... and we can use the help," he said.
"Who's we?" You asked, bewildered, becoming more baffled than ever. You'll feel more at home, he said. What did that even mean? You took off your mask, getting a clearer view of him, as you had a concerned face. "Who even are you?" You replied like you were annoyed for not knowing the entire truth.
His mask slowly distorted into pixels as it showed his face. "Miguel O'hara." He simply responded, looking down at you with his intimidating, tired brown eyes. He then slowly turned around, walking to the portal that hadn't been closed yet. You watched him enter the bright hexagons before you watched him disappear in front of your eyes.
You gripped the watch tightly.
𝕾𝐏𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄.
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callmedaleelah · 3 months ago
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— Pinnacle [ tsukishima kei university au series ]
— i’m seeing visions am i bad? ; take care of yourself and stop pulling those all nighters just because you have upcoming exams ahead, or you’ll end up in infirmary clinic—with the grumpy professor’ assistant
author’s notes : no mention of (y/n), written in second person pov, semi alternative universe, timeskip!tsukishima, college life, not proofread, english is not my first language
[ masterlist ] | [ ask daleelah go to box box 🐭 ]
The final semester exams were in full swing, and you were feeling the pressure more than ever. Every subject demanded your undivided attention, and as a first-year biochemistry major, failure was not an option. You pulled all-nighters, frantically cramming every piece of information from your textbooks into your brain. Fear of missing even a single fact kept you awake, but the stress took its toll. Meals were skipped, and the vitamins and tonics meant to keep you healthy were forgotten.
On the day of your organic chemistry exam, you felt especially drained. After scribbling down the last answer, you rushed to the library, searching for a quiet corner to study for the next exam, molecular biology. However, as you settled down, the pounding in your head became unbearable. Dizziness washed over you, and a sharp pain gnawed at your stomach. You realized with a start that you hadn’t eaten since last night, surviving only on an energy drink that morning.
Determined to push through, you tried to focus, but the pain worsened with every passing second. Defeated, you decided to head to the infirmary clinic near the library. As you walked, you felt the concerned stares of people passing by, noticing how pale and sickly you looked. You tried to brush it off, but by the time you reached the clinic, your body was on the verge of collapse.
A doctor approached you as soon as you entered, noticing your condition immediately. She moved quickly, guiding you to a bed. She began checking your condition, administering an injection to ease the pain and preparing an IV to replenish your strength. The curtains around the bed were left open in the rush, exposing you to the rest of the clinic.
“Do you feel any pain here?” she asked, pressing her palm gently to your abdomen.
You nodded, unable to speak, a small whimper escaping your lips as the pain intensified. Your mind was in a haze, each throb of pain pulling you further from reality.
Meanwhile, Tsukishima was in the clinic as well, getting his hands wrapped in bandages before volleyball practice. His gaze shifted to the source of the painful whimpers, and his heart clenched when he saw you lying on the bed. The sight of you in such a fragile state unnerved him in a way he didn’t expect.
“Oh, Tsukishima, are you done with the bandages? You can place the box on my table,” the doctor said while tending to you.
Tsukishima was confused but couldn’t tear his eyes away from your pained expression, your hand gripping your abdomen as if to ward off the agony. He felt an unfamiliar concern bubbling up inside him, and it bothered him how deeply it affected him.
“What happened to her?” he asked, his tone unusually soft. He didn’t understand why he felt compelled to know, why seeing you like this made him feel so uneasy.
“Do you know her?” the doctor replied. “She came in a few minutes ago, nearly collapsing. It looks like she has a stomach ache due to high stomach acid, likely from skipping meals and excessive stress.” She finished setting up the IV, and your whimpers finally ceased as you began to calm down.
Tsukishima placed the box on the table as instructed but found himself returning to your side. The doctor noticed his concern and, knowing him as a university athlete, asked if he needed to leave for practice.
But Tsukishima didn’t answer immediately. He just stood there, watching you, his heart heavy with worry. “If you can, please sit here beside her and help me fill out her health form. She’ll need a doctor’s note for a few days to recover,” the doctor requested.
He agreed without hesitation, pulling up a chair beside your bed. He didn’t know why he was doing this, why he felt this strange responsibility to make sure you were okay. After assisting with the form, he remained seated, silently observing your pale face. He sighed, feeling an inexplicable urge to stay. Without a second thought, he texted his coach, explaining his absence from practice.
When you finally woke up, the bright lights above you made you wince. Your head was still spinning, and your body felt weak. Blinking against the harsh light, you were startled to see Tsukishima standing beside your bed, placing a bowl of food on the table next to you.
“What are you doing here?” you asked, your voice raspy and surprised. You could hardly believe your eyes—of all people, Tsukishima was the last person you expected to be at your side.
“The doctor said you need to eat immediately after your...” he glanced at his watch, “three-hour nap.” His tone was laced with his usual sarcasm, but there was a hint of something else in his eyes—something softer.
“You waited for me?” The idea of him staying with you all this time made your heart skip a beat. It didn’t make sense—why would he do that?
“Yeah, it seems like you really have a lot of ways to trouble me,” he replied, his voice cool, but there was an undercurrent of something warmer, something he wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge.
“I didn’t mean to…” you murmured, feeling a wave of guilt wash over you. You didn’t want to be a burden to anyone, least of all him.
“It’s alright. The doctor asked me to help, so I did.” He tried to downplay his actions, not wanting you to think he was overly concerned. He didn’t want to admit, even to himself, that he was doing this for more than just a favor to the doctor. “Here, eat this,” he said, handing you a bowl of zosui—a simple rice porridge that was gentle on the stomach.
You tried to eat, but the IV in your right hand made it difficult. Seeing your struggle, Tsukishima sighed and took the spoon from you, beginning to feed you himself. The gesture was unexpected, and it sent a flutter of emotions through you.
“I can eat by myself,” you protested weakly, feeling a mix of embarrassment and gratitude. The idea of him feeding you felt too intimate, too close.
“Yeah, I know. And you’ll probably finish it tomorrow at this rate,” he shot back, his tone a mix of annoyance and concern. He was trying to maintain his usual cool demeanor, but the way you looked at him, with those tired, grateful eyes, made it hard to keep up the act.
Flustered and embarrassed, you gave in, allowing him to feed you in silence. Your cheeks flushed, not just from the warmth of the zosui but from the unexpected tenderness he was showing you. Despite his sharp tongue, there was no denying the care hidden beneath his sarcastic exterior.
As he fed you, a strange warmth filled your chest, and you couldn’t help but wonder if this was the real Tsukishima—someone who, despite his aloof demeanor, cared deeply about those around him, maybe?
After you finished the last bite of zosui, Tsukishima watched you closely. His expression was as stoic as ever, but there was a hint of something lighter in his tone when he spoke. “Now you realize how hungry you are after skipping meals for... who knows how long,” he teased, his voice low and slightly mocking.
You felt a rush of embarrassment at his words, knowing he was right. You had neglected your health in the pursuit of academic success, and now it was catching up to you. But before you could dwell on it, your thoughts shifted to something far more pressing—the exam tomorrow. It was the last day of exams, and the pressure to perform well weighed heavily on you. You couldn’t afford to get sick now. You should be pulling one final all-nighter, not lying here in the infirmary. But could you even manage to study in this state? Would you be able to nail it?
As these worries swirled in your mind, Tsukishima noticed the change in your expression. You were lost in thought, your face etched with concern. “What are you worrying about?” he asked, his tone cool and controlled, though there was a slight edge of curiosity.
“My last exam is tomorrow,” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. You wanted to tell him how scared you were of failing, but you knew that he didn’t need to hear the details of your fears.
“What about it?” he pressed, sensing there was more to your anxiety.
“I haven’t studied enough for it, and I heard the doctor would send a permission note excusing me from tomorrow’s test,” you hesitated, unsure if you should continue, but the words came out anyway, your voice shaky with fear. “I can’t skip it, even if I have a legal reason. My mom will find out—” You paused, seeing the concern deepen in his frown. “She already made a holiday plan for after I finish my exams, so I can’t miss it and reschedule for another day.”
Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed slightly, and he couldn’t help but tease you a little despite the seriousness of your concerns. “Well, it’s your job to tell her that you got sick after pulling those all-nighters all week to study.” He thought his sarcasm might lighten the mood, but when he saw your face fall even further, he quickly stopped. His expression softened just a bit, though his tone remained firm. “I mean, she’d understand your reason and postpone the holiday. It’s your holiday she’s planning, right? So what’s the point of planning it if you’re the one who can’t go as scheduled?”
He was trying to ease your anxiety, but he could tell his words weren’t quite enough to pull you out of your spiraling thoughts. “Hey, are you listening?” he asked, leaning slightly closer to catch your gaze.
“I’m sorry,” you muttered, feeling overwhelmed. “I just don’t think that would make my mom happy.”
Tsukishima sighed, sensing your deep concern. “It’s molecular biology, right?” he guessed, knowing your exam schedule. When you nodded, he continued, “I asked one of your classmates to send her notes to your email so you can study. I know you wouldn’t want to miss it.”
“Who? And how?” you stuttered, confused by his unexpected help.
“Does it matter?” he replied coolly, brushing off your questions. “You should just start studying now. Your IV fluids are still halfway to go—do it here.”
Without waiting for a response, Tsukishima reached for your bag, pulling out your iPad and other study materials. He placed them on the table attached to your bed, ensuring everything was within easy reach.
As you looked at the setup, a wave of gratitude mixed with anxiety washed over you. You couldn’t believe that Tsukishima, of all people, had gone out of his way to help you like this. The two of you shared a quiet, comforting silence as you began to study for tomorrow’s exam. Despite the stress and the lingering pain, you felt a small sense of relief knowing that you weren’t facing this alone.
In that small infirmary room, amidst the chaos of exams and the uncertainty of what lay ahead, there was a quiet, unspoken connection between you and Tsukishima—one that neither of you fully understood yet, but that was undeniably there.
taglist (free to mention) ; @theweirdfloatything
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eyeseeoptique · 1 year ago
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The Benefits of Using a Vision Simulator to Diagnose Astigmatism
Are you experiencing blurred or distorted vision? Do you have trouble seeing fine details or reading small text? These symptoms could be signs of astigmatism, a common eye condition that affects millions of people worldwide. Fortunately, advances in technology have made it easier than ever to diagnose and treat this condition.
One such technology is the vision simulator, a device used by eye doctors to simulate the effects of astigmatism and other vision problems. Using a vision simulator, doctors can test different lenses and prescriptions to find the one that provides the clearest and most comfortable vision for their patients.
So, what are the benefits of using vision simulator astigmatism for diagnosis? First and foremost, it allows for a more accurate diagnosis. With a vision simulator, doctors can replicate the exact conditions of a patient's astigmatism and test different lenses to find the optimal prescription.
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Additionally, a vision simulator can help patients better understand their condition. By seeing firsthand the effects of astigmatism and how different lenses can improve their vision, patients can make more informed decisions about their eye care.
Finally, a vision simulator can save time and money. Rather than having to physically test different lenses, which can be time-consuming and expensive, a vision simulator allows doctors to quickly and easily find the best prescription for their patients.
In conclusion, if you are experiencing symptoms of astigmatism, it's important to schedule an eye exam with a qualified eye doctor. And if your doctor has a vision simulator available, be sure to take advantage of this powerful diagnostic tool. By doing so, you can ensure that you receive the best possible care for your eyes and enjoy clear, comfortable vision for years to come.
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myvisioncareusa · 2 years ago
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leonw4nter · 10 months ago
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The Cotton Candy Haze Mirrors The Warmth Of Your Gaze
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RE2R!Leon x F!Reader
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Coming back home from working 4 shifts in a single day for the fifth time this week, you went home looking and feeling like a hot mess– ponytail looking like you got into a fight and lost, eyes sunken in with dark bags underneath them, and pimples breaking out in several spots in your face and back. Despite how much your body craved a deep and restful sleep, you couldn’t give yourself that because grad school, especially medical school, won’t pay its own tuition along with living expenses. Juggling 4 odd jobs, along with working overtime for the sake of getting extra pay is really taking a toll on you: you’ve been cranky lately and you haven’t found proper time to be studying for the upcoming board exams, resorting to bringing all your books and notes in your bags so you’ll have time to read in case you’re free while still at work. Hell, you haven’t even found time to take Leon on dates due to how hectic and overwhelming everything is; you’re certain that the last time you and Leon spent some quality time cuddling together was three months ago. An icky guilt seeps into your weary bones, especially since Leon’s also taking up some jobs on the side to help with your expenses and along with his police academy’s costs but he still manages to make you meals, remind you to drink water, and drive you to wherever you need to be. With a frustrated groan, you fumble through your bag to look for your keys but unfortunately you couldn’t find it and deduced it to your forgetfulness, having left it at the bowl by the door back inside.
“Fucking hell,” you bitterly hiss. You were just about to knock at a neighbor’s door for the spare key you handed them but then you suddenly remembered that you haven’t had the chance to give them an emergency spare key yet since you were procrastinating on it, much to your disadvantage now. Exasperation causes tears to flood your waterline, your vision going blurry as you reach to contact Leon to tell him that you’ve been locked out but you forgo it, thinking that he’s probably had a long day as well and that he doesn't need another thing to be bugging him. You sink down by the door, wiping your tears with the sleeve of your sweatshirt before taking your notes out to start reviewing again since you’re free and waiting for him to come home. A few minutes pass and you hear the pad of footsteps nearing you. Swiftly, you place your notebook back in your bag and sling it over your shoulder, getting up and dusting your legs before seeing Leon’s kind smile beaming down on you like the first few rays of the sunlight on a new day.
“Hey, baby.” you softly mumble as you place a kiss on his cheek.
“Hi,” he says as he pulls you in for a quick hug. “What are you doing here?”
“Got locked out. Forgot to bring the keys. I also didn’t ask the neighbors for the keys since I didn’t give them spares yet,” you quietly admit. You look down at your feet, shame creeping in. “Leon’s had a long day and here you are, worrying him even more. Great job, Y/N. Real girlfriend of the year,” you glumly think to yourself.
“Oh– I forgot to tell you this too but I already gave the spares to the neighbors. You’ve been really busy lately so I decided to do it instead,” he says. “Sorry about that. It just slipped from my mind.”
“No. It’s fine, it really is.” you say with a tired yet genuine smile.
Leon fishes out his key from his backpack before slotting it into the keyhole and unlocking the door, opening it and letting you head in first. You slip out of your work shoes, placing your bag on the couch and collapsing right beside your things with a loud sigh.
“I’m so tired with everything,” you loudly groan as you cover your face with both hands and proceed to groan a little more. Leon walks over to the back of the couch, wrapping his arms from behind you and placing comforting kisses to your hair.
“Tell me what’s going on. I’m just going to sit here and listen,” he softly whispers as he lightly pats your shoulder.
With a deep sigh, you ramble on about everything that’s bothering you. Tears prick your eyes again and there’s more than one occasion to your voice breaking. He stays quiet, arms still wrapped around as he nods to whatever you say, occasionally pressing his lips into your head as you vent about whatever.
“I can’t afford a review center and I don’t have time to study before the board. I’m going to fail, Leon. I won’t end up somewhere,” you finish. You recline back into his touch, feeling like a ton of bricks has been lifted from your shoulders. Leon unwraps his arms around you for a bit, walking over to your place on the couch before pulling you in for a more proper hug as he delicately sways you from side to side.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s fine,” he softly mumbles. “You’ve been working and studying so hard. I can see all the effort you’re putting into making sure you reach your dreams and trust me, you will pass the board. You make time to study each day and I can see that you’ve got the drive to succeed, you can do this. Believe in yourself as much as I believe in you and your capabilities, okay?”
You sniffle, hugging back and staying silent for a bit before your shaky and slightly squeaky voice speaks up, the sound slightly muffled since you buried your face into the comforting scent of your boyfriend’s sweatshirt.
“But Leon, there’s more people who're smarter than me and they’re going to pass and I’m not going to. What if I’m not enough?” you say, which causes Leon to pull away from the hug and cup your cheeks in between his big and calloused hands.
“You’re going to pass. You’re smart, you’re my smart girl. There’s no way you’re not going to pass, okay? You will be a licensed nurse and you will reach your dreams. You’re more than enough for this and for me. Don’t let anyone and anything tell you that you’re not enough because you are. More than you’ll ever know.” He finishes with a small kiss to the tip of your nose before moving to your lips. Your own hand climbs up to lightly wrap around his wrists, maintaining comfortable eye contact.
“I’m sorry,” you softly tell him, your words coming out like a whisper.
“For what?” Leon says with a surprised smile. “You didn’t do anything wrong, love.”
“Yes I did, Leon.” you bashfully respond. “I haven’t been giving you much attention lately. You also do many things for me like driving me to school and doing my laundry but I don’t find the time to repay you. Just earlier, I got you worried because I was sitting just right outside the door when you already have a lot on your own plate. I’m just adding to that list of things that keeps you up at night and–”
Leon cuts you off by placing his index finger against your lips to shush you before gently moving you to be laying on his lap as he plays with your hair and scratches your scalp in the way he knows you love.
“Nope. I understand that you’ve gotta give a hundred percent of your attention to your studies, especially that your future job concerns human lives. I’m just doing my job by being here for you as your number one fan and making sure you still take care of yourself. I’m busy too but you’re not bothering me or causing me more stress, just the opposite actually. Now just lay on my lap and let me make you feel a lot better, yeah?” he softly says as he continues massaging your head, prompting your eyelids to drape over your eyes as you sigh in satisfaction.
“Unless you wanna have dinner first–”
“No. Let’s just stay like this for a bit.”
He continues to rake his fingers through strands of your hair, his fingers gently scratching your scalp and applying a good amount of pressure to your temples in order to effectively massage them. Most of the time, it’s you who’s giving Leon scratches and massages but it feels great to be at the receiving end of some pampering and loving from your boyfriend. He stops for a little bit, your eyes flying open to see Leon reach over to get a blanket to wrap you in it. Snuggling into the blanket, he continues his soothing ministrations to your head. You swear that if you were a cat and Leon was petting you in this way, you would purr so loud.
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You finally finished taking your board exams about a month ago and ever since then, you would eagerly open up your laptop or phone just to look at whether or not you passed. Each time, your fingers would wobble and your palms would sweat to the point you frequently wipe them on your pants so your phone wouldn’t slip out of your grip. Your thoughts would shift between the confidence that you passed since you reviewed and studied and practiced so much and the fear of failure, the icky feeling of being a failure with no direction in life eroding at the happiness you built for yourself but luckily Leon was always there to keep those crusty, self-deprecating tendencies at bay.
“You passed!” Leon practically screeches. With quivering hands he shoves his phone back into his pocket and lunges at you, almost toppling over the tables as he wraps you around in one of the best hugs he’s ever given you.
“Huh? What?” is all you could muster in this state of shock and surprise.
He pulls away and opens up your laptop, going straight to your email and the school portal where they released the list of passers. Sure enough, your last name is listed.
“My girl is going to become a licensed nurse!” he shouts with the proudest, most vibrant smile you’ve ever seen him smile. 
Tears of pure, unadulterated joy spilled from your waterline and flowed down your cheeks, a rush of adrenaline coursing through your veins whilst also feeling relief at the fact that you passed. Now it’s your turn to lunge at Leon, springing at him and tackling him with your arms tightly enveloped on his larger frame as you jump up and down, toppling over into the couch and hugging him even tighter due to the renewed sizzle of joy running through your person. After a few moments of laying on top of each other and smiling and pressing kisses into each other’s face, you get up and phone friends and family to tell them that you managed to pass the boards. Leon called up his own friends Ethan and Chris to tell them of your results, sending pictures. You hear Leon and his friends giggling on the other side of the room, squealing and giggling like school girls. His face, the tips of his ears, and neck are flushed a vibrant pink the more he talks about how proud he is of his girl. Many times he showed the email and your name on the passers list to his friends, cheers and congratulations being the reception whenever he did, much to his massive delight. Finally, you finish up phoning friends and family and go to Leon, pressing a passionate kiss to his soft baby lips upon his soft baby face. He could feel you grinning against him with each gentle smack; Leon quite never figured out if the beauty of your lips was more of their softness or their association with whatever words you spoke, which always pulled him under a spell he didn’t wish to surface from. You pull away, gazing deeply into eyes painted a soothing blue watercolor hue and not wanting to break this moment of peace, the sensations feeling intimate in a way more than the physical contact of bodies.
“I’m so proud of my girl. My smart, amazing, lovely, sweet girl who will be a nurse soon,” he softly whispers.
“I’m proud of myself too, Leon. Thank you for supporting me, helping me out, and being there for me when I needed you most. I couldn’t have done this without you,” you sincerely thank him.
“You’re a strong independent woman, Y/N. You don’t need anyone to get you somewhere because you carry yourself with an air of confidence and independence but I’m very thankful and lucky you let me in your life.”
“Gosh, Leon. You’re going to make me cry but thank you. I mean it so much. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“So… should we eat out? I’ve got some change to spare.”
“It’s on me. I’ve been saving up, I have a surprise for you but it won’t hurt to celebrate my Y/N’s passing.”
You smack his chest playfully, the blond laughing at his little joke.
“You made it sound like I died!”
“Oops. Looks like it might result in a grave misunderstanding.”
“God, let’s just get ready for dinner.”
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Leon's POV
I took her out to dinner that night, picking out a nice Korean grill for us to dine in since she enjoys Korean grills so much. Nothing felt more satisfying than seeing all her efforts pay off; all those readings and memorizations giving her the success she rightfully deserves. Right now, I’m seeing her devour her entire plate and in the blink of an eye she’ll get up to get seconds but I don’t mind; seeing her eat good food and indulge makes me feel happy. I feel satisfied, as if I don’t need to eat because her happiness is enough to keep me going for days on end. We’ve both decided to keep working some more jobs to be able to have more savings to add in our accounts so we could afford to move into a better place, probably nearer to Raccoon City since I’m going to be stationed there by next month. She doesn’t know this but I managed to prepare a little surprise for her, which is a 2 day camping get-away; deep in the forest, surrounded by trees, the stars shining above us, and the cold weather. She deserves a little break, we both do, so I planned this. I’m free for the next few days too so this is going to be perfect, I’m grinning just at the thought of it.
“What’re you smiling about?” she asks, but it comes out sounding a little difference since she’s got some food in her mouth.
“Nothing. You look beautiful tonight,” I respond, which isn’t exactly a lie. The buzz of glee just gives her this glow that makes me want to get on my knees and worship her like the goddess she is.
She gets back to eating, doing a little happy dance every now and then. She’s also insisted on feeding me, making sure I finish at least 3 plates because “one can never be too full”, which I appreciate since she just wants me to eat well and I want to have the energy to walk her around town tonight.
After dinner, we took a walk around town. I stopped by at a flower shop, getting her flowers as one of my many little gifts. It feels tempting to tell her about our little camping getaway coming up in a few hours but I want to build up an element of surprise and blissfully catch her off guard. The evening gets cold and a little quiet so I shrug off my jacket, draping it over her shoulders and making sure she’s all warm and toasty.
“You good?” I ask her.
“Yeah. Thanks,” she shyly says as she huddles into my jacket even more. I advised her to bring along a coat since the night could get a little chilly but she refused. As long as the cold won’t bother her and make her feel ill, I don’t really mind because I like seeing her in my clothes and having the smell of her perfume on my things. We take a few more strides, a comfortable settling between us as we walk hand in hand and go wherever our hearts desire. I turn my head and steal a lengthy glance from her; the delicate breeze sends her hair flowing smoothly like a poet’s ink and quill, the fine strands woven from spacetime and starlight as the streetlight’s luminescence bounces off; her body is absolutely perfect, worthy of all praises and respectful admiration with curves that mold in my hands just right but her genuine beauty is from within her heart; God, she’s captivating. She looks at me and I promptly look away, keeping my gaze trained on something else as heat is concentrated on the apples of my cheeks. I can hear a twinkling giggle from her, followed by her fingers pinching a cheek as she giggles even louder.
“You’re too cute, Leon. Gosh, you’re so adorable! You’re like– the most puppy-looking person I’ve ever met and I love that!” she squeals.
“Baby, my cheeks are hurting.” I say in a small voice.
She pulls her fingers away, gently running a hand over where she pinched and gave the spot a peck.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine. I know you can’t get enough of me.” I quip, followed by a wink.
“You’re not wrong but you’re one cocky person,” she says but a smile tugs at the corner of her lips.
“I’m your cocky person.”
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A day later.
Hours ago, I woke her up at 4:45 AM so we could get ready. Of course, she was a bit disoriented because I didn’t say anything to her but after I told her about my little surprise, she practically launched from the bed and got ready immediately. She slept early last night– slept very soundly too, not a single noise rousing her from sleep. While she slept, I carefully slipped out of bed and packed everything we needed, her things included. It was kind of difficult, having to pack things quietly and move them to the car without causing much thudding but I managed to get it done in 3 hours. After several rounds of double checking everything and making sure there was nothing I left out, I finally made my way back up to our apartment and locked the doors to retire for the night. I could barely sleep due to the rush of giddiness coursing through my person but I forced myself to; after all, I’ll be the driver and it’s going to be irresponsible if I don’t.
Now, she’s sitting in the passenger seat with a blanket draped over her lap as she quietly drinks in the view that speeds right past the window. Everytime I see her and she innocently looks right at me, I feel a little antsy and nervous, having to feel around in my pockets and try to calm myself down. In an hour or two, we’ll get to the spot and then finally set our camp up before we start preparing the ingredients we’ll be using for cooking. The campsite we chose is a little more secluded, right by a lake that’s unfortunately too cold to safely swim in but that doesn’t take away the charm of the entire spot. The release of the board passers coincidentally going before the day of the trip I planned is a perfect coincidence, making this whole thing a celebratory trip for her but I want to add another thing to celebrate later so for now, it’ll stay as another secret.
Finally, I pull up at our spot and park the car. We carry our supplies and set up grills, our tents, and a spot to keep all of our food and drinks and utensils. We finish early so we set up the inside of our tent, placing a comfortable blanket on the floor so the bumpy and rigid ground doesn’t cause any of us back pains the following morning. All afternoon speeds past us as we spend the hours cuddling, Y/N saying something like how the weather is “perfect cuddle weather”. Soon, it’s nighttime and we finish up with everything: dinner, a quick towel bath (since the showering in this weather would get us both sick), so now we’re just sitting by the bonfire and huddling close.
“Thanks, Leon. Thank you for all this. A celebratory dinner was enough but I guess you decided to outdo yourself,” she says as she leans her head on my shoulder.
“This is nothing. Besides, you deserve this,” I say.
We sit in silence for a little bit before she speaks up again.
“We should celebrate some more wins in life, y’know. Even the little things, we should celebrate it one way or another. It doesn’t have to be this grand,” she tells me.
“Yeah. You’re right, we should celebrate wins in life,” I agree. This is it. “You’re a big win in my life, Y/N, and I want to celebrate you everyday.”
My hand slips into my pocket, my fingers feeling the velvet of a tiny box holding my promise of the world and forever to Y/N.
I can’t imagine ever growing old without you, nor do I desire to.
If all goes well, we’ve just given ourselves another reason to be celebrating.
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NOTE - Woke up today to see that in a month, I've managed to hit a hundred followers!!!!!!! LET'S GOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Srsly so thankful for everyone who decided to follow me and read my fics, I love you and wish you well. I didn't expect to reach a hundred this early into my writing journey so this is so cool. I also told my mom that I write now and she seems supportive so I'm really happy with that. I guess this fic functions as a hundred-followers-special now :)) That's it and I hope you really enjoyed this fic. Again, thank you for the hundred followers!!!!! I couldn't have done it without you &lt;3!!!
The chain dividers are made by @cafekitsune , the images are made by me (sourced from Pinterest).
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ma1dita · 1 year ago
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this will be our year
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this was a request! find it here
words: 2.5k
summary: james does his best to plan reader's birthday! it's not as easy as you think
warnings: james is a leader not a planner, fluff!! bestfriend!james returns mwahaha
a/n: so sorry for this being literally two weeks after your birthday anon! life was kicking my ass but i hope you enjoy! writing many characters is something im trying to learn to make more organic
(posted and edited too many times to count 11/6/23)
There are a few things in life that James likes to think he’s very good at: making plans, pulling pranks, playing quidditch, and doing absolutely anything he can to make you smile. At first, he would laugh it off when his friends would say you two had something special. He is a gentleman, after all. James is the type of friend any of the girls would trust with a secret, or the one to borrow hair potion from when you’re in a pinch.
He loves to join in the gossip and crash your sleepovers when the boys are being ‘dreadfully boring’ (his words, not yours). He holds your bag when you walk to class (only yours, he’ll push Marlene’s books to the ground and run off laughing), bribes Peter with an extra helping of bacon to move his butt out of ‘your seat’ (whichever one was to the right of him) at breakfast, and definitely writes to his mom asking about what to get you for your birthday (and how much he’s been wanting to ask you out for almost about three years now).
Right... James is a great friend, so when you get all excited about your birthday, gushing about how you want to celebrate this year, he takes one look at the excitement on your face and hatches the perfect plan. Or so he thinks.
“I just can’t wait to celebrate with you guys, and not have to worry about exams, or projects, or boys, or curfew…” you muse, laying across Mary and Remus’s laps as everyone’s gathered in the common room. Sirius, and Peter are chasing each other with throw pillows while Dorcas and Lily share headphones on the other sofa. James beelines towards you, crawling across the open space.
“Boys? What boys have been worrying you, dove?” he says snidely, sneaking towards the space near your belly, looking up at your relaxed figure.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Mary giggles, and Remus huffs back laughter as he pats your head. James peers up at you as you smile knowingly.
“It’s a secret.” you smile, reaching out to poke his chin.
“You keep secrets from me now? From your most good-looking, bestest friend ever that plans the coolest awesomest birthday parties for you?”
Well, he did have a point. Ever since he accidentally flung you into the Black Lake third year in a prank meant for Snape, he’s almost always waited on you hand and foot. He had to, for your immediate response to laugh and flip him into the lake ‘qualified’ you as a Marauder (plus he thought you were really pretty—he swore he stopped crushing on Lily the next day.) And every birthday since has been bigger and better. Fourth year was the movie marathon out on the quidditch pitch; Fifth year was the picnic out next to Black Lake, and now you couldn’t wait to see what he has planned.
You look at the boy thoughtfully, smiling down at him and he swears it’s his favorite sight in the world.
“You don’t always have to know everything, Prongs…”
He chases after your hand with his mouth, trying to chomp one of your fingers. Idiot.
“Of course I do, or else no birthday party for you!” he jokes, and you giggle at the notion. He wouldn’t dare. He loves to celebrate you. Maybe this will be the year he asks you out… Is that cheesy? Or lame? James sighs, fussing with a string on his sweater, suddenly silent amongst the chaos of his lively friends. He’s got a lot of work to do.
The next week was filled with James’ hasty preparations and all of your friends were put up to the task of making his vision come together. Remus and Peter would get the booze, Mary and Alice would bake the sweet treats, Sirius and Lily were working on decorations, and Marlene and Dorcas were busy enchanting a record player to amplify through the party space James would get ready in the Room of Requirement. He’s been a little high-strung, overcalculating his endless to-do list to impress you.
All of them have been so…busy, and it was a bit lonely. You thought they might plan something with you, or for you, but you haven’t seen much of them in the past few days. Every bump in the corridor or spotting in the common room was a flurry of hushed whispers and giggles at jokes that flew over your head. Even dinner with them has been oddly silent, like watching a film but not being able to penetrate the scene that unfolds.
Peering down at the map one day after class, you see your friends’ names flitting around the map, all of them hanging out together, but not with you. That is, until a big hand nabs the parchment from your grasp.
“Hey!” “Sorry doll, need it for something important.” Sirius grins, pulling Lily along as they walk off briskly.
“Do you guys want to study later?” You call out after them, and they keep on walking, hands in their cloaks. Weird.
Many more of your requests have been denied. It’s a fickle thing, to suddenly feel unwanted in your group of friends. As a Marauder, you’ve earned your place there. But if Remus and Peter didn’t want to sneak out for a midnight snack, and Alice and Mary went shopping already, without you… Marlene and Dorcas were nowhere to be found.
That means you only had your favorite person to badger… James. You drag him into a broom closet after Muggle Studies one day, crossing your arms and looking up at him with frustration.
“Jeez, love, you’re stronger than you look!” He says sheepishly, hands landing on your waist.
“What are you all up to? Where have you been?” The pout on your face makes his knees weak, and it’d be so easy to just tell you….
No…He thinks, hardening his resolve as his thumb reaches out to smooth the crease in your forehead.
“Prongs,” you whine, poking his chest. The dim yellow lightbulb swings overhead, almost clobbering him in the skull.
“Why, you miss me that much?” He grins, prodding at your cheek. It’s cramped in here enough, and he hunches over your frame, unable to stop his smile at the look on your face.
“Yeah. I miss all of my friends. I sound like Moaning Myrtle whining after you lot! I wanna be involved in whatever you all are doing…” Delicate hands pull at the drawstrings of his hoodie and he feels like his chest tightens too.
“Hey, we haven’t forgotten you, so don’t worry, pretty girl. Your birthday’s coming up, right? You excited for that?” James’ thumb rubs at your cheek and he really wonders if, in any other instance, this could be platonic. Surely, you must like him too, right? Everything he does is to make you smile. He feels like he’s in a one-man show trying to embellish himself for your attention, and he’s waiting for the applause. Your hand grabs his as you lean into his touch.
“Got anything special planned?” You ask teasingly, and James can feel the warmth of your smile in his palm.
“For you? Of course.” He squeezes your cheek and you rip away from him, laughing. As you walk out of the closet, your shoulders bump as he wraps an arm around you.
“Don’t worry too much, dove. It’ll all work out,” he says, glad that you’re smiling again. “Wouldn’t let you have a terrible birthday. Never in a million years.”
“Exactly. What type of best friend would you be?” You smirk, walking off to your next class.
The thing is, he hopes you won’t be best friends by the end of it though. James huffs as he puts his hands in his pockets, walking in the opposite direction. This will be the year…. And it’s unsure if it’s a promise to himself or to you.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a Marauder plan of action without some mayhem. James had taken it upon himself to organize his big list of to-dos, assign jobs, and make sure everything was set up for your birthday. The Room of Requirement was decked out in enchanted sparklers, a huge cake was adorned by a spotlight in the corner of the room, and all your friends were there to celebrate you. Mary’s putting the final touches on the gift pile before she looks to Sirius and Peter, who are horsing around the room running through the balloons.
“Something’s missing,” she remarks, and the others scamper around to figure out what it is. Lily double checks the sound system for your favorite songs, Marlene makes sure the drinks are flowing and at the table set up in the back. Dorcas whacks Peter and Sirius to stop popping the balloons, and Remus, the smart one, turns on his heel to stomp towards James, who is looking like he could implode from stress at any given moment.
“Prongs…” Remus muses, unsure if he should laugh, or wring his neck.
“What did I forget?” he says sheepishly, looking down at his watch. A balloon pops.
“Did you invite the birthday girl?” Oh shit.
“HAH—Moony, you’re not supposed to be the funny one here, of course I….” his eyes fall down to his scroll of to-dos, looking at the only thing unmarked on his list.
• Get her to come to the best birthday celebration ever.
“I forgot to tell her, didn’t I…”
Right. James might’ve glossed over that one. His nervous laughter shrivels at the sight of his friends’ faces of disbelief as they bombard him with questions and profanities and so, he bolts out of there, trying to find you on the map.
Surprisingly, James finds you in the kitchen, sitting infront of a lone cupcake and the house elves singing you the worst rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ there ever was to magical folk. What should be his plan of action? Acting nonchalant, or owning up to his flub? All of his thoughts go out the window when he sees your despondent sigh at the lit candle, thinking your friends have forgotten his absolute favorite day of the entire year.
“Pretty girl, why are you so sad?” he says, rushing to meet you at the table. You’re pulling at your sleeves and looking at the cupcake in disappointment.
“Did you all forget about me?” you ask, bottom lip trembling at the notion. James shakes his head rapidly, so much so that his glasses are skewed as he looks at you.
“How could we forget the best birthday girl?”
“I’m the only birthday girl, and I haven’t seen any of you today. You didn’t even eat dinner with me,” you pout. Your huff of a sigh blows out the sad little candle, and it almost makes you want to crumple up in embarrassment. Your finger reaches out to sample some of the icing, and you bring it to your mouth, James following the movement with his eyes.
“I’m sorry dove. I might’ve messed up for this one,” he mutters, hating to see you upset.
“If you forgot to plan anything, it’s okay…. You’re not obligated to.” Your head falls to the slope of your shoulder, looking bashful at the idea of being celebrated. But James hasn’t gone all this way to see you unhappy.
“That’s the funny thing about it, erm…. I need you to come with me.” He pulls at your arm, but you won’t budge. How mortifying to conceptualize how you feel in this moment, feeling smaller than ever. A birthday is just a day, after all. Maybe they can make it up to you tomorrow.
“I dunno Prongs, I think I should just go to bed and wake up with a better attitude, yeah? It’s really oka–HEY!” James lifts you out of your chair and throws you over his shoulder, securing you to him before he bolts out of the kitchens. Your vision is blurred and all you can see is the massive muscles rippling down his back as he runs. His bum is quite nice too.
“James Potter, what in Merlin’s name do you think you’re doing? Put me down this instant or I’ll hex you into next week!” You screech, before he puts a silencing charm on you to not alert Filch of your antics. You reach out to hit his buttock as he exclaims, “Ow! Cheeky…. I promise you’ll like this, dove. You really thought we’d forget your birthday?”
There comes a point when he paces back and forth in front of the same stretch of wall and you think he’s insane, talking to himself and turning in circles. After the third lap, he sets you down, your arms crossed and quite stern at the trip he’s taken you on. James smooths your hair down before he looks you in the eyes, standing a bit closer than a friend would, but Godric is he excited to show you his work.
“Ahem. Do you really think I’d forget your big day, pretty girl? It’s my favorite day of the year!” He smiles and you shake your head with a smile. He nudges the door open to reveal all your friends, yelling “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”
Still inaudible, your mouth is gaping wide in shock, silent laughter escaping your mouth. Marlene and Dorcas carry the cake over to you before they sing in all sorts of tunes, none of them on key and possibly worse than the house elves. The light of the candles caresses the warmth in your cheeks as you look at your friends in wonder. You mumble something like a ‘thank you’ but they can’t comprehend it until Remus undoes the charm, whacking James across the head.
Later, James sneaks behind you, throwing an arm around your waist, whispering ‘Happy birthday’ for the millionth time, but he’ll never get tired of telling you how much he cares.
“Are you happy, birthday girl?” he smiles, and you get on your tiptoes to give him a kiss that lands on the corner of his mouth. The applause is back, thundering in his ears before he realizes it’s the sound of his heart when you’re near.
Yeah, this will be the year everything changes. His plans are racking up into a list in his brain as you gaze at him all starry-eyed and smiley. Your friends are all looking at you knowingly, and he can’t wait to get to work, for there is just so much to do.
“In case you foolishly forget: I am never not thinking of you.” - Virginia Woolf
taglist: @jsjcue
love me some tunes! i listened to this while writing: this will be our year by lowland hum
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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 3 months ago
Note
Do you think death note would be significantly different if Light (or L) was a woman? So much of Light's early characterisation is 'eldest son' how do you think 'eldest daughter' would change things?
Interesting question, that's very hard for me to answer actually. But let's try.
Sexism in Death Note
L is Woman
The thing about L is we don't know how/why Watari selected him. We don't know how they came in contact, why Watari set him up to be super detective and exactly how early that happened, and so on and so forth.
We do have a hint that L was around six or so when he was orphaned in that we get a hint of a flashback in the anime where Watari holds his hand when he's a small child seemingly at the gates of Wammy's, but we really know 0 about him other than that he did become this detective persona and that he keeps eating his rivals and stealing their names/business for himself.
Given L's incredibly young age and the successor program we see later run by a friend of Watari's who runs the orphanage, it seems like L was most likely Watari's idea and that Watari has a very particular vision in mind (that L does not always agree with).
What I'm getting at is, even if everything else is exactly the same, I don't know if a girl would be chosen as 'L' or an 'L' candidate by Watari and company.
The measurements on who gets to be L are deeply weird from the little we see of them. Neither Mello nor Near seem to have particularly relevant experience or much people skills. Mello's better in that respect than Near but it's clear this is... not valued highly given a) how L acts and behaves b) the fact that Mello is very clearly and narratively always second and never close to dethroning Near who has awful social skills. What seems to be most highly valued in an 'L' is 'intelligence' where that intelligence is measured... somehow. It's unclear if this is through puzzles like those Near solves, through academics, through intelligence exams, but what we do see is every successor we meet/L himself are men.
There's a panel where someone shouts "Linda" in the orphanage, but we never see this character and we can't assume they're part of the successor program at all.
And it wouldn't surprise me, from the little we do see, if the tests for who gets to be L aren't, either intentionally or not, geared such that men pass them more easily than women.
We also see that L has very few professional interactions with women. We don't see many of his contacts, but they are dominated by cis men. The few women we see are Wedy who is treated as... track suit boobs and Naomi Misora who is very brilliant/L acknowledges as very brilliant, but we don't see them interact at all (and if we take LABB is canon, when they did it was horrible).
L's is an incredibly masculine and cultivated world.
Basically, what I'm getting at is that I don't think a female L would have been selected to become L in the first place. She wouldn't have been supported by Watari, wouldn't have been given the endless funds and support needed to become the canon L, and Watari would instead be making someone else L (as he/Roger tried to do with Mello and Near).
L might become a detective, but I doubt she'd be reaching international acclaim and fame, certainly not as an anonymous detective. At most, and a generous most, she might be living a modern Ms. Marple lifestyle where this very weird woman shows up somewhere and oh no there's a murder, guess she's solving it.
Light is a Woman
You guessed it, I don't think she's becoming Kira.
The Yagami household is a modern but traditional household with traditional values. Sayu is the sweet young daughter who is supported but brilliant Light Yagami is the apple of the family's eye/especially his father.
It's a very male dominated household in that while we see Sachiko visibly upset by the Kira case destroying her family, she never openly comments on this, not even when Light disappears for months with no explanation, Soichiro stops coming home and the stress is visibly killing him, or later when Soichiro dies, Sayu is kidnapped, and Light himself finally dies.
Soichiro is all about his job where his family is there to support him in their given roles, Sachiko and Sayu in their roles, and Light in his more active role where he can join the police.
There is never any hint of discussing that Sayu should join the police force or should live anything but an ordinary life and get herself an ordinary boyfriend/husband.
We know before the series that Light had been involved, perhaps far more than appropriate, in the police with the support of his father. He geared his entire college education towards becoming a police officer and had had that goal since before the series began.
If Light's born a girl, I don't see her getting the same support, at all, by Soichiro. Soichiro does not want her or Sayu involved with grizzly homicide cases, doesn't want them becoming police officers in homicide, and does not want to discuss the details of any of his cases (which he never does canonically with the entire family/when it's not just Light).
Light is brilliant still and I'm sure Soichiro's very proud of her, but I imagine he'd want to steer her towards some other path, any other path. Light will go to a good university, will get excellent grades, will get a nice career, and then will get married to a fine young man (who perhaps is a cop).
And while a combination of ennui/mental breakdown was what fueled Light to become Kira, I don't know if female Light who's struggling to find what she wants to do with her life/somehow be the best that she can be and be acknowledged as better than everyone else will ever feel the idle curiosity to write in the notebook in the first place.
Though, if she does... I think she'd be all in for much the same reasons that Light was canonically, and with a lot of angst as
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