#vintage tv review

[larsisfrommars]

Wild Wild Reviews

The Night of The Inferno

Overall Score:

Story: 3/5

Dame: 4/5

Villain: 2/5

Gadgets: 5/5

Disguises: 2.5/5

Bonus Points: Gay Subtext: 1/5

The Yikes Dated Factor: -3/-5

Score: 14.5/25 (58%)

Tier: D

Next Review

FULL REVIEW UNDER CUT

The Story

It’s a pretty straight forward plot that introduces most of the core elements of the show fairly well. We’ve got our inflable and courageous James West, our over the top villains, our femme fatale and our gadgets but it feels as though the story is missing a limb. That limb of course is Artemus Gordon. Yes Ross Martin is there playing counterpart to Robert Conrad but he doesn’t really seem like the Artie we know and love yet. He’s less intelligent marvels at inventions that given the later context of the show he could’ve (and probably did) build himself, and lets Jim do the detective work. His disguises aren’t a big focus, and he’s noticeably more of a coward than he is later on. Luckily they fix all this almost immediately but between this and the casual early 60s racism this episode suffers a bit.

The Dame

Our woman of the week is Suzanne Pleshette!

Most of us young’uns know her as the witch Yubaba from Spirited Away and/or Zira from Lion King 2. However she was a very accomplished TV actress before that! I think she does a fantastic job as Lydia Monteran!

She and Jim have history which is always a fun gimmick, and certainly way more fleshed out than the parade of other women in this series. She’s got her own illegal business and lots of personality, a classic femme fatale. She just doesn’t have a lot in the way of complex/personal motivations and doesn’t really affect the plot with her direct actions, which is why she isn’t a perfect score.

The Villain

Our villains of the week are Nehemiah Persoff and Victor Buono!

Now I don’t know Persoff from anything other than Papa from American Tail. His character bordered on caricature/hammy but I am honestly shocked to say that he was WAY more entertaining to watch than Victor Buono of all people?! He was very animated and had a lot of fun lines. Meanwhile Buono (who I know as the unhinged King Tut from Batman) was both chronically underutilized and the crux of the more dated and problematic aspects of this installation of the series. Generally though these villains lacked the camp and ridiculous plans/motivations that I love the series for. So I’d say they’re a little subpar overall

The Gadgets

The gadgets were PHENOMENAL in this episode. If it has a real saving grace it’s the gizmos, a cornerstone of what makes this show work. We get an introduction to The Wanderer, West’s notorious toolbox boot heels, and a really fun Chekhov’s Gun scenario with the self-defense measures built into the billiards table! Excellent visuals and gimmicks that will carry on throughout the series.

The Disguises

The disguises were… eh. Which makes sense for the pilot but also it’s a shame, considering just how much it becomes an integral part of Ross Martin’s multi-faceted performance as Artemus Gordon. We get him as some sorta grave robber/carpet bagger that seems to exclusively exist to be silly at Jim’s expense, and a brief appearance as a Mexican beggar. Only one really makes sense for the story and we see it for all of two seconds.

The Gay Subtext

(Don’t ship it? Skip it!)

So long as Artemus and Jim are in an episode together the Gay score will never be 0. That being said they haven’t established a rapport, or even Artemus as a solid character yet. So is absolutely bottom rung for subtext in a given episode to me. Artemus frets over Jim a little and musters up his courage in spooky environs but that’s about it.

The Yikes Dated Factor

I’m giving this a solid -3 because yes there are more sexist/racist episodes than this but there are also LESS racist/sexist episodes of this show than this one. The only reason this doesn’t get a worse score for the yellow face is because it was part of the villain’s ploy, so they technically didn’t have a white man playing a Chinese guy. It was a white guy pretending to be Mexican pretending to be Chinese, which is almost funny, almost. But then, we got a couple white guys playing Mexicans which (there are plenty of people in the Latine diaspora who are white.) still runs into caricature and colorism issues. The baddies are all foreigners sometimes pretending to be different foreigners with some casual orientalism. But hey! At least the Spanish wasn’t gibberish!

[poppletonink]

FILM REVIEW: Roman Holiday

★★★★★ - 5 stars

"What the world needs is a return to sweetness and decency."

During her grand tour of Europe, an adventurous, young princess escapes into Rome during the middle of the night. While she explores the city, she falls in love with an American journalist.

Roman Holiday is a light-hearted, adorable romance with a bittersweet ending. It takes the viewers by the hand and guides them down the streets of an ancient and tremendously cultural city. Be prepared to consult TripAdvisor, because, after an hour and fifty-eight minutes of watching Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck's dazzling love affair, you will most certainly feel the need to travel. The film encapsulates the beauty of Rome through a classy and glamorous lens - black and white in colour and yet brimming with emotion. It shows the human desire for thrilling escapades and freedom from the constraints imposed upon us - be it through work, school or, as in the film, our living situation. Regardless of whether riding on a motorbike, daring fate at the La Bocca della Verità and eating gelato in Rome is your idea of freedom, these actions incite a hunger for adventure within viewers.

This cult classic film plays with many tropes including, but not limited to, 'the important haircut', 'the bet', and 'the rebellious princess'. While many tropes are used to fuel the drama and plot of the film, others add to its cathartic and fun nature. The most notable use of a trivial trope is when Princess Ann has her hair cut into a pixie cut - though an act of rebellion and freedom, it shows spontaneity and relatability in her character, making Roman Holiday even more entertaining to watch.

Having defined the very nature of the genre over the past seven decades, Roman Holiday is a must-watch romantic comedy and perfect for a vintage film binge.

[mashhistorian]

One of the most unique, and popular M*A*S*H products was the Military Base Play Set released by Tristar in 1982. In this week’s post, see a new in box example of this play set and learn more about it!

[nerdby]

Mortal Kombat ended up being a fun movie. There were some plot holes that, hopefully, were a lot easier for diehard fans of the franchise to fill in than they were for me. Like I said before this is my first time consuming any sort of Mortal Kombat media since the 90s and back then I was like eight years old. Most of my memories of this franchise come from playing the arcade game at Pizza Hut. So I'm kinda fuzzy on all of the franchise lore.

Aside from the plot holes, the choreography and graphics could have used some work. But it definitely wasn't the worst CGI I've ever seen. I did think Kano's story arc was incredibly predictable, though, and he felt a bit like a ripoff of Butcher from The Boys. Though I'm pretty sure Mortal Kombat predates The Boys, but don't quote me on that.

That being said this was a solid popcorn action flick. It's suitable for children ages fourteen and up if you don't mind the occasional F-bomb being dropped. It gets three and a half stars, and I definitely plan on getting my own copy on Blu-ray to add to my collection.

[chainsawmcd]

THE MUNSTERS

I’ve been a Rob Zombie superfan since La Sexorcisto, but nobody bats a thousand. I watched THE MUNSTERS so let’s talk about it. SPOILER FREE!

THE GOOD -

* Not much. There’s clearly some passion for the source material and a couple of solid performances (Jeff Daniel Phillips and Sheri Moon Zombie are FINE...but not great).

* Some of the sets were genuinely impressive. The lab Herman is built in is a particularly fun design.

THE BAD -

* Literally everything else.

* The horror is as unscary as the comedy is unfunny - and the comedy is ENORMOUSLY unfunny. Really, REALLY bad jokes that feel dated from the first moment to the last.

* The writing is abysmal. The story is unfocused, weirdly episodic, and poorly structured. You’re not sure where it’s going and you’re not excited when you get there.

THE UGLY -

* The COLOR. The TV series this movie is based on was in BLACK AND WHITE. Why is this the most colorful movie I’ve ever seen? WTF is that about? Literally every shot is DRIPPING with saturation. I was shocked my TV screen could return to black when I turned this shit off. In fact, there’s a scene with Herman and Lily standing on a suburban American street with completely unmotivated lights on their FACES that scroll through the color wheel, one hue at a time. WHY?!?!?!?!?! WHY DID YOU DO THAT, ROB?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

LONG STORY SHORT -

Avoid at all costs. THE MUNSTERS is a train wreck of a film, lacking any real scares, laughs, or entertainment value. I hate to say this about a Rob Zombie joint (because White Zombie was so unbelievably good) but save yourself the time and money and skip this one.

[hederigerenthag]

I have a new zine review up on my Dreamwidth. The Z.I.N.E from U.N.C.L.E by Jay Marchand (Gen, 1985). 

Hoping to do these more consistently as I read. 

[roxysretrodrive-in]

Spookytube 1985: Murder in Space

Watercooler Films returns with a series of reviews for made for t.v. horror films of 1985! This review starts at around the 8:20 mark but the beginning is also quite informative about the future of Chuck's channel. PLEASE go check it out!

[subjectively-objective]

Kids Love Stories about the Hopelessness of War! Analyzing Captain Power (Part 3: "The Abyss")

  We open with a destroyed City and a man crawling out of the sewers (I knew they were sewer rebels!)

He sees a weird cube robot with some flashy red lights.

It reminds me of a mouse droid from Star War.

This thing has an odd design. It's close to the ground, so can't easily traverse the city ruins and it has these handlebar looking things. What are they for?

He then gets cornered by a bunch of humans(!) before claiming that he left "for some air." The people living in the bombed-out wasteland of a city seem to doubt this claim, which sucks for him.

So the robot is owned by the humans. Why? If they are living in a bunker and leaving is a bad idea, having a patrol bot that does nothing but shine a red flashlight and get stuck seems counterintuitive. It doesn't seem to have any weapons, and the light doesn't trigger any alarm when it hits the guy. It looks neat, but does nothing to enhance the story and actively opposes the universe of the show. These are the sort of props you make when you have $1 million per episode to burn.

Oh yeah, the scene ends with "The General" pointing a gun at the man and probably shooting him.

One minute. It took one minute before it got too much for the children who would buy their toys.

Aside from not knowing how to appeal to their damn audience, the opening was pretty good. It was short, did some more world-building with the underground bunker and human resistance, and set up an interesting villain. I hope they explain the General's reasons for murder as being something more than "I'm evil" it could really make an interesting third faction in this show of a human society determined to hide from Dread at all costs rather than fight him. All-in-all, it really sold me on the episode so far. I want to know more about this villain and how he ties into the world of the show.

We cut to Power and Hawk receiving a signal (from the soldier earlier) that's on an open channel. Such things can only end badly, so the two decide to follow the plot.

 Headphones are usually used to listen to audio, but apparently not in this universe.

I like how Power got to his station first (cause it's closer) and had to vamp until Hawk got there to synchronize the suit-up. He looks genuinely confused like he forgot what hands are.

The sequence is cool. It has all the flair of a Sentai series without taking a million years.

They then both take off in these hoverbikes. They showed up at the end of the last episode, but I'm talking about them now. They have these suction cup thingies on the side, like training wheels or magnetic connectors. Could these have been repurposed cargo vehicles? Are they fans keeping the bike in the air? Why is Hawk "The Flying One" using one instead of flying?

The sky is purple here.

The next scene goes to Volcania, it is sick as always. Dread is reading the Robible. He is on chapter four, but it starts with "The machine was given unto man." That's weird. You would think a book about robots would open with machines. There is also the matter of the machine being given to man. Not created, given. Are bio-Dreads an alien creation sent to destroy mankind? Or have they deluded themselves into believing humans could never have built them? Either way, I hope this gets expanded upon.

He also says the machine gave "my people" a means to throw off their "bonds of flesh." Two interpretations here. "My people" could refer to fellow machines being freed of their bonds made by the fleshy humans. It could also refer to humans being freed from their flesh (to be digitized I guess). Another interesting bit of growth for the villain. Did the Machine free other machines, or entomb people?

Another big detail here: Dread is reading. He doesn't know this text. He might not be the one in charge of the bio-Dreads. Things like this really help with the world-building, but only if they are paid off. Hopefully it does.

Dread also gets the soldier's unencrypted signal as well. I like the small detail of Dread and Power using different sector measurements (Sector 42 Mark 7 and Sector 14 cross-reference theta).

Dread tells Soaron to investigate. Soaron asks if he should terminate his current task, implying that they do things other than hunt for Power. Small details like this, even when they aren't important do a lot to make the characters feel like they do more than enter stasis until the heroes need to be shot at.

Speaking of being shot at, the human army from earlier shoots at Power and Hawk the moment they land.

We do get a better shot of the bike here. I honestly wasn't expecting it to have a real prop. I thought they were just using the toys like with Hawk's flying.

It's got two guns that look pretty built-in, so repurposed cargo-vessel is out. The front is appropriately bulky, and the back appears to have an engine. I also think there's a steering vain / tail at the very back, but that could just be the set. At this low res, everything looks like goo.

After a brief shootout where Power says they have "40% power" left on their suits, they jump through a window which knocks them both out. So, for the powerscalers out there, 2.5 window leaps > Power's armor at full strength.

After getting window-diffed, they are captured and the general interrogates them.

At first, I thought the general was in denial about the world, believing the military he worked for still existed and needed to charge traitors and spies. I was pleasantly surprised when I was proven right in an unexpected way.

He still thinks the country exists, but there is an added layer of nuance in his speech that implies he knows that everyone's dead. Like he's just using "we wait for the President's orders" as an excuse to stay in hiding and keep everything normal. It's an interesting take with someone who has given up on everyone else, but not themselves, relying on an authority he knows is dead to avoid guilt.

The torture chamber is a pretty boring set. I get that it's an underground bunker, but compare it to the destroyed city from earlier this episode, or the bio-Dread power plant from episode one. I hope we don't spend the whole episode here.

Once again, this is super dark and boring for a kid's show. They outright say that Dread killed Power's dad and that Power and Hawk will be executed. Dark, and it continues this series's trend of being made to sell toys by people who wanted to make a 'real' show. It's kinda sad, because I feel that without the dumb toy tie-ins in every episode, and the 20-minute timeslot, it probably could have been fairly successful. They just needed to decide if it was for pre-pre-teens or post-teens.

This scene is pretty fun. The general completely ignores the colonel to rant about his dumb, unfounded opinion before getting mad that someone disagrees with him. It's just like the real thing. It also is a good way to quickly sell the situation that the general is set in his ways and the colonel is trying to change things.

That's honestly the main thing I've noticed over these two episodes, the show is fast. The first episode I barely noticed it due to the opening being quite long, but this episode really hasn't given any scene time to breathe.

The scenes themselves are good, but they cut together so quickly with no downtime it feels claustrophobic. This show really needed a forty-minute runtime.

I do like their military logo that's barely visible in the background. It's a sword with wings that kinda look like closed eyes or olive branches. Like it's a weapon of peace, virtue, and turning a blind eye to everything it does to the contrary.

Soaron finally finished whatever his mission was and follows the signal. If this show was forty-minutes, I wouldn't have minded five to ten of them being about Soaron's mission. Was it a survey where he was bored the whole time? Was it taking out a rebel unit? Maybe he was cleaning some of the rubble.

The robots make quick work of the military (off-screen though. The only on-screen fight clearly showed the humans taking 0 losses).

This scene is interrupted by the colonel demanding the general orders a retreat. The general comes to terms with what is happening while the colonel takes charge and orders the evacuation.

Once again, a good scene in a vacuum, but I really need a few more minutes to get to know the general to feel this emotional moment. His whole world is crashing around him, and he is realizing it is his fault (though, not really cause its the guy from the opening's fault they were found), but since I've only seen him for eight minutes I don't feel anything for him.

Power goes up to fight the bad guys and wins. Now that I have normal humans to compare the power suits too, I have to ask what it is they do. They obviously provide armor, but it isn't much. One shot in episode one went through Power's suit and injured him, and in this episode one window took out 40% of their charge. Do they make you a better shot? That would make sense, but they haven't had the time to really explain what the suits do other than sell toys.

Another good scene which calls back to the General's rant earlier about "not having any good songs to win the war" Too bad I can't understand what he's saying because the mixing is so bad.

Does anyone have subtitles for this show? I miss out on about a quarter of the dialogue and I'm watching each episode a half-dozen times to take notes.

It was just last episode that we learned that digitizing sucks, so obviously we have to do it again to the crazed general. Kids love torture and horrific pain.

We enter this episode's climatic battle (which your toys can play along with!) and its just as long and boring as the first. This one at least has some choreography as Soaron and Hawk fly around each other to land hits, but the special effects don't do the concept justice.

Okay, I've been wondering how Scout can hologram as a robot and not get spotted and this scene explains it. The robots don't have wireless communication, otherwise they wouldn't have to wave to each other. This means they likely are more man than machine (if they are part human, that isn't confirmed yet).

Power gets shot a lot here. He's kind of weak for being the Master of the Power Suits. That also means that one window > 30 laser blasts.

I didn't notice it earlier, but Power also has a symbol on his suit. It kind of looks like the military one(?), but it's a bird. I guess this is the future Air Force logo. There isn't much to say really, it's a bird (or a person) spreading its wings before a rising (or setting) Sun. Neat, but it's no eyeball angel sword.

That robot tried to run! They can feel fear!? Who programs a fear response into your robots? Unless these robots are former people. Them being people would explain why Dread digitizes people, he needs brains to power his robots.

No, these ones have a robot head. So they are robots who can feel fear. Weird. Or, the human parts aren't in the head. I'm leaning towards them being in the flashy chest. That's why it's a glow from another reality; it's formed from human souls.

The episode ends with Hawk saving power and saying "Thanks." "Heh, What are friends for?" as they fly off into the sunset.

Note to writers: NEVER end your story with a "characters joke to each other as the episode fades to black" is is never good. You want to end on a punchy one-liner? Make it relevant to the story. "What are friends for?" has no bearing on the episode or the characters. It does nothing but remind me I'm watching a show for children. In this instance, you're better off with them riding off in silence as the music swells. Anything else would ruin the tone. 

If you had to have an ending line, have it be something like hoping the soldiers made it out ("I hope we bought them enough time." "We have to hope for a lot of things." or "Hope's all we can do for them," etc.) or a "Took you long enough." "I was taking the scenic route." (this one is still eh as it doesn't mean anything. It's fine to end the scene but absolutely not to end the episode). Make your ending matter; it is often the only thing people remember from your story.

Overall, a pretty decent episode. Keeping up the quality of the first (for good and ill). It has some interesting sci-fi concepts and storylines, some good characters, some good dialogue. I especially liked the general. His actor did a good job, and his scenes carried this episode.

However, it also has rough pacing, bad special effects (good for its time, but not good enough to stand the test of it), and the same identity crisis as before. It tries so hard to be a 'real' show but the forced toy-ins bring it down. This episode faired a little better as the final battle was really the only egregious part and can easily be skipped.

[ijustwant2ride]

Motorcycle TV:  The Glory Stompers

“The Glory Stompers,” released in 1967, is a B-movie outlaw biker film that is interesting from a film history point of view. The plot revolves around Chino (played by Dennis Hopper), the leader of the Black Souls motorcycle gang, who kidnaps Darryl’s (J

“The Glory Stompers,” released in 1967, is a B-movie outlaw biker film that is interesting from a film history point of view. The plot revolves around Chino (played by Dennis Hopper), the leader of the Black Souls motorcycle gang, who kidnaps Darryl’s (Jody McCrea), girlfriend, Chris (Chris Noel).  The film’s frmework is, more or less, a western but it remains firmly in the B-picture format,…

[larsisfrommars]

Wild Wild Reviews

The Night Of The Deadly Bed

Overall Score

Story: 4/5

Dame: 4.5/5

Villain: 4/5

Gadgets: 5/5

Disguises: 4/5

Bonus Points: Gay Subtext: 2.5/5

The Yikes Dated Factor: 0/-5

Score: 25/25

Tier: S (100%)

Previous Review • Next Review

FULL REVIEW UNDER THE CUT

The Story

This episode is up there as far as quality, it almost feels as though THIS should’ve been the pilot as opposed to TNOT Inferno. It’s finally got all of its limbs (meaning Artemus has his proper characterization which is what was missing in the pilot) and doesn’t have the same racist trappings as the previous installation. All the major elements pay off, the mystery isn’t sloppy, the villain and lady of the week are well written. The biggest drawback is that stupid unnecessarily complex death trap that gave the episode its name. Why does the hotel even have that?!Why didn’t Jim get sedated enough for that to even be an issue?! It’s so dumb that it borders on Batman series levels of comically avoidable. It’s just not quite a 5, gotta reserve that for the best of the best.

The Dame

Our lady of the week is Barbara Luna! Whom I know as Marlena from the Star Trek TOS episode Mirror Mirror!

Say it with my y’all, I. Love. Gatita!! She’s so awesome and one of the best female characters this show has ever had. Which is WILD cuz we’re like 2 episodes in and there’s a 102 more. She’s intelligent and brave, she’s got her own personality and motivations. She is working for the baddie to protect her people who’ve been enslaved by him. She even fights back in her own way by giving his girlfriend food when he’s trying to starve her, not to mention attacking one of the guards! The relationship she develops with Jim feels genuine and relatively well developed. The only reason she’s not getting a perfect 5 is because she gets treated and written as “exotic” in the first half of the episode but that’s not a fault of her as a character.

The Villain

Our villain of the week is played by JD Connor!

What a great and hateable villain, he is cruel to women and minorities, he’s got an overdeveloped sense of class, and he’s got delusions of grandeur. Also he’s idea of a train killing train to take over the US with is extremely unhinged and silly which is exactly what we need in our Wild Wild West villains. He’s not perfect though. He lacks a certain uniqueness that would have him stand out amongst other egotistical traitors and invading powers that frequently pop up in this show.

The Gadgets

They knocked it out of the park again with the gadgets this episode. Particularly the explosive coal which was such a fun Chekov’s Gun this episode, with satisfying high stakes pay off. We also see our good friend knock out gas featured, and the first but not the last instance of Artie accidentally getting KOed by his own invention lol. The ring was also a neat gimmick and I’m kinda disappointed we don’t really get to see it again.

The Disguise

Artemus’s disguise in this episode was fun, well thought out, and useful. He successfully infiltrated the labor camp where Jim and Gatita’s village were being held. He used it (and a drunken rendition of one of my fav Spanish folk songs “Malagueña Salerosa”) to rescue Jim, and he also exploited it as means to start a revolt while Jim planted the bombs! The only reason it’s not a 5 out of 5 is because he didn’t really do a specific character, he was just trying to blend in which isn’t as insane or enjoyable as his more fleshed out personas.

The Gay Subtext

(Don’t ship it? Skip it!)

A joke could be made about Artemus giving Jim a specially made ring and to “wear it in good health”. There’s also a moment where Gatita feels like she could be making a joke about Jim being bi when she talks about “looking for a girl, now you’re looking for a man” which I think is hilarious even if it wasn’t intentional. Then of course we have our regularly scheduled story beats of Artemus looking like the world just fell out from under him when he thinks Jim is dead, and looking bitter (or dare say jealous) and exasperated when Jim makes out with the woman of the week at the end of the episode.

The Yikes Dated Factor

When I put yikes dated at 0 that does NOT mean there was nothing problematic in the episode. However there was very little that was straight up cringeworthy that made me embarrassed on behalf of white people or made me wanna turn the episode off. There were microaggressions and casual nationalism for sure, but no shoe polish or wildly inappropriate caricatures. For the time this show was made it was very respectful and for that I will give this episode props!

[hotvintagepoll]

Welcome to the HOT AND VINTAGE MOVIE STARS tournament! We are now finished with the Hot & Vintage Men Tournament; The Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament is ongoing. Submissions for hot vintage women are now closed, but we are accepting propaganda for those already in the bracket.

Round 1 of the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament began with 540 hot women in prelims. Round 1 starts Saturday, March 2nd, with posts going up over several days. All polls—including ongoing polls, previous rounds, old tournaments, the various shadow brackets, and fun mini polls—can be found in the #hotvintagepoll tag. Every poll in the Hot & Vintage Women Tournament will be tagged with the hot woman in it if you need to search for a hot woman in particular.

FAQs:

“Where is [my favorite hot woman]?” It depends. Are all the Round 1 polls up yet? Have you checked all the polls in the tag? Have you done a tag search for her? If you still haven’t found her, either nobody submitted her or she did not fit the criteria of being a movie woman from 1910-1970.

“Can I still submit hot women?” No, the submission window has closed. Please do not send in women you wish had made it into the bracket. I can’t do anything with those asks and they just make me sad.

“I have additional propaganda for the hot women!” Great! Send me an ask or reblog the poll and add your propaganda to it. If you see a separate post that relates to your hot woman, like a fancam or a gifset, you can tag me in it. I don’t boost all the propaganda I see or receive, but I try to boost the best of the best.

If you’re submitting propaganda for your hot lady, I don’t accept propaganda that’s from beyond the end of this tournament’s era (ie don’t send me pics of them from before 1910 or after 1970). I also don’t accept propaganda of TV appearances unless it’s clearly a cameo where they’re playing themselves. If you have a TON of photos to submit, please send a few asks instead of one long one. I watch every video I receive so I can add trigger warnings, so please don't send long videos—I don't have time to review them.

I don’t post or boost negative propaganda about any hot woman. If you really hate that a certain hot woman is winning, send me positive propaganda for their hot opponent. If you think a hot woman shouldn’t even be included in the tournaments because of scummy things she did in her lifetime, please read my take on it here.

If I see repetitive, trolling, and/or bigoted remarks in the comments, I may block you from this bracket. If you want to point out a hot woman’s flaws or misdemeanors, that’s fine, but if I see consistent bad-faith trolling, you will be blocked.

The views expressed in the propaganda are not my own. I don’t submit my own propaganda, and I don’t change what’s submitted beyond fixing spelling mistakes. If you hate a poll bio or a pic, let me know and send me something I can use instead. Thoughtless bitching will get blocked.

"Where are the hot men?" Most of them are in the shadow realm! Toshiro Mifune was crowned the winner of the Hot & Vintage Men Tournament, and the rest were banished where the sun never shines. You can find all the round 1 matchups here (thank you @markwatnae!), or you can search the archive by tag to find out more about what happened to all the different hot men.

"Why didn't my propaganda make it into the poll post?" Either I couldn't open the link, or there was so much submitted I could only pick a few. Because this tournament is so much bigger than the Hot & Vintage Men one, I'm limiting propaganda to 5 pics per hot lady for Round 1. I know, a bummer! I have to do it this way to keep myself sane. If you have a photo you really want the world to see, follow the propaganda guidelines above.

“My FAQ isn’t on here :(” send me an ask! I love hearing from you guys—just please check these basics first.

Thank you for being here! Enjoy the tournament.

[mashhistorian]

In 1978, a set of M*A*S*H View-Master disks were released for the episode “Major Topper.” The three disks and booklet follow the storyline of the episode. Read this week’s post to learn more about the M*A*S*H View-Master set!

[ryanwritesfanfiction]

Random Chase Davenport Headcanons

a/n i havent seen the series in the a rlly long time also idk if there is any demand for this or lab rats in general but im gonna write anyway :P

ps: i might write more of these idk yet

hes really scared of heights

collects and restores vintage tech/ videogames

leaves rlly long reviews in letterboxd (no one reads them)

bc of his super intelligence he's really good at predicting the stock market (has a very diverse porfolio)

secretly likes sitcoms (eg tbbt and community) but tells everyone tv is frivolous

he like to watch telenovelas

he reads fanfiction and eventually writes some bc he thinks he can do it better (he does)

he likes to keep true to his training schedule and stuff but really likes traveling and learning about other cultures from experiencing it first hand and speaks the language of wtv country hes in

avoids caffeine bc he had a redbull once and was up for hours (it prolly messed w his bionics like in ep 1 with the bell)

he didnt like the iron man trilogy bc it reminded him too much of Mr. Davenport

he took the bar exam just bc he could but he doesnt really use it, more just for bragging rights

he is sooo nosy and gossipy hes basically a teenage girl

doesnt really drink anything other than water and like diet coke on special occasions

has go bags hidden ~everywhere~

dyed his hair black once (eveyone made fun of him so he never changed his hair again)

tries to use modern slang and references but is rlly bad at them

bree made him watch all the pitch perfect movies w her and he pretended to not like them but he loved them

he doesn't like driving but he especially doesn't like driving with other people in the car

he wear sunscreen every day bc he's scared of skin cancer

he sends texts in grammatically correct sentences

he doesn't like to drink but when he does its like rlly fruity drinks

he tried to pick up skateboarding once but fell and hurt his knee and didn't do it ever again

[milllersfae]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷   butch!abby headcanons

content warning: dom!abby, strap referred to as a dick, ooey-gooey lesbianism, femme!reader, sfw and nsfw content. (please tell me if i missed anything!) minors do not interact.

a/n: this is completely self indulgent. i’m a simp okay? hopes this holds someone over while i write this bodyguard! fic <3

sfw

୨୧ hands are full of rings. she trades them out throughout the week to make sure all of them have been worn. she wears a special one you bought for her on her right index finger.

୨୧ she’s very simplistic in her dress. classic masc attire that’s a drawer full of wife-pleasers and hanes tees. when she likes to change it up she wears a vintage band tee or layer with a button up. she prefers sleeveless the most (for cocky reasons of course).

୨୧ she wears her hair down a lot more after you told her she looks pretty when her hair’s unbraided. she mostly wears it down in private with you, but takes her time fixing the braid when going out.

୨୧ when you go to the nail salon, she’s not the hugest fan of getting acrylic nails. “i’ll just wait with you, i’m sorry to disappoint.” abby furrows her brows, face pink with a tinge of guilt. “no no no—baby please get something, it’ll be fun!” she shrugs and opts in and gets a simple coat of yellow polish. “does it look good? you like it?” she asks, holding up her fingers to your face. you nod, smirk filling your face. “they look so pretty against your eyes!” you exclaim, holding your hands in hers.

୨୧ she likes going out with you places, eager to show you off. at parties, the both of you lock eyes and abby waves you over. you smile, coming over and find space to sit on her knee. she points the beer bottle in her hand to you. “have you guys met my gorgeous girlfriend yet?” your face goes warm as she boasts about you to others.

୨୧ she’s skilled at anything technical. from broken microwaves to poorly signaled tv’s, she’s a wiz. she likes sitting down and explaining to you how to fix things when she’s gone. “remember to screw all the plates back properly in place okay?” she points at a silver screw inside the tv server before twirling the screwdriver in the hole. “practice makes perfect.”

୨୧ she likes to do more docile tasks for you too. helping you with dinner drives her wild. she taps you for a knife, lovingly kissing your shoulder as you hand her the one on table, a toothy grin spouting from her lips. she diced onions and garlic on the cutting board, separating them neatly before bringing back to you.

୨୧ abby is a great driver. she’s even done uber a couple times (wasn’t really a fan, but always got good reviews). she’s so gentle with it you’ve fallen asleep in the car more times you can count.

nsfw

୨୧ shes not entirely stone butch, but definitely prefers servicing you. she’ll pat her lap, inviting you on. you abidingly sit, eager in her presence. she reached under your skirt, pressing two fingers to your damp core. “what does my sweet girl want today?” she whispers into your ear, watching her voice send a shiver down your spine. “i wanna ride your thigh, abs.” your voice runs low and shy as she holds you around her by your waist. “that’s cute. show me how bad you want it.”

୨୧ abby loves when your ass is hiked up in the air, lined up just right for her strap. the sight of your face pressed close to a pillow, arched waiting for her brings out something carnal. “you‘ve been waiting for this, ain’t that right? waiting for me to fuck you stupid.” she teases, rubbing the silicone against your slit. you squirm at the touch, grinding your opening into her. she puts a hand to your back, other circling your clit with her thumb. “you can’t stop coming back, can’t you?”

୨୧ she’s obsessed with eating you out. she gets so pussy drunk she lazily stares at you, your orgasm-ridden face barley focusing on her gaze. she could eat you for hours, often stuck between your legs, warmth of your thighs on her cheeks. you find yourself getting so overstimulated, trying to wiggle free from her grasp. she gently pinches her thumbs into your hips. she unlatches, soft lips grossed over in your fluid. her lidded eyes wavered over you with a furrow in her brow. “don’t run from it…fucking in love with this pussy…” she sucks at your clit as you clench with her between your legs, fingers cinched between her blonde strands.

୨୧ she’ll hear you showering, wanting to surprise you by coming in. she quickly sheds her clothes. knocking on the bathroom door. responding with a water-muffled ‘come in!’ she enters, slightly parting the shower curtain. she steps in and examines you for a moment, soapy bubbles sliding down the curves of your body. abby rinses you well, sweet wafts of glycerin coating your skin against her nose. she rubs soap into her hands before groping your breasts. you raise your arms in response, eyes fixed on her thick fingers slipping against the slick of your nipples. “don’t worry, i’ll get’ya clean.” she teases, placing wetted kisses along your back.

୨୧ she doesn’t care if she can’t feel it, your lips pursed on her strap makes her insanely wet. she places a hand on the back of your head, completely fixated on the look of your eyes glossy and hypnotized on the loom of her over you. “what a good girl, just so fucking cute.” she pushes in, watching your throat stretch against the girth of her dick.