#viktor post

[zonkity-zoo]

[orionchildofhades]

i wonder about viktor's childhood. about him growing up in the fissures. about him breathing in poisonous gases and starting coughing, falling because his leg wouldn't let him stay upright while he caught his breath. i think about the first time he built something. not even meaningful, or close to useful, finding loose screws and cogs on the ground and tightening them together in the shadows. i think about viktor after he met singed, when he came back and took care of a dying salamander, petting her, feeding her, listening to singed explain the basic of science to him, things he could not do with his hands but his mind, math, hard calculation. do you think singed taught him to read? and then he came back with the flowers to find the salamander dead. gone. keening in pain, attached to so many tubes, so many liquid, and wondering just for a second about his own fate. his lungs, his leg, his back. if he, too, was dying and would end like this. i think about viktor and wonder how he ended up in piltover, how he ended up as heimerdinger's assistant. no title, no name, no patron. i think about his own research before jayce and his arcane dream. do you think he was like sky? working on his research in a corner, trying to figure out how to bring it to heimerdinger? do you think about how he grew more confident, more sure of himself. he was alone, he could rely only on this fact, he brought himself in the academy, to where he stood then. how many people he had to fight for it, how many hours spent proving himself.

i also think about him riding on the dream that was hextech. seeing how his ideas could change the world, how his actions could have a positive impact. but it was not really his own but jayce's. they managed together, worked together, lost hours of sleep, dreamless nights of torturous hope for a breakthrough, days spent in pain hunched over a desk or running around to experiment with his leg and back killing him, but in the end, the hexgate was named as a project under jayce talis, jayce was the golden boy, the man of progress, he was heimerdinger's pupil, and the kirammans' protégé.

i think about viktor coughing the first drops of blood, realising his fate, seeing the salamander and knowing how she ended. he knows it's catching up with him now, he knows the clock ticking above his head started speeding up. and he rushes. he no longer cares if things could be dangerous. a decade of careful research and testing? he's lucky if he sees another full year, he cannot wait, cannot break. he goes to singed, he carves his skin, he wants to save the world but gods does he want to save himself too.

and he dies, but comes back, hating what he is but knowing it's his last chance. the rune, the hexcore, it tells through him, to him, but it's still a little bit of him inside. the way he feels, sees, knows, it's all changed but he's more himself than he will be later. he refuses to let singed use warwick, somewhere in him he likes what he managed to built, the people he could save. somewhere inside of him, he allows in a way he never could in piltover. he reaches inside vander and there is a new softness he never knew before, a wonder for feelings and memories that are not his, a care for what the world could be. there is also something of hunger in him, something between his and the arcane's, the control he likes to have, the knowledge nad security he has in his position, in knowing what he can or could do now. it's in the way he knows he cannot go back to what was before but cannot give it up either, its rolling a small cog in his hands when he can, rebuilding elements of his past life around his new one, bargaining with his visitors (no weapons, conditions) it's refusing to take the next step, leaving in the liminal space between viktor and the arcane, wandering the palace of vander's mind and resting with it while refusing to acknowledge jayce's pain in the lab. but the hexcore could not survive in his weakened body and therefore he needed to evolve.

and i think about the end of arcane and viktor's name being forgotten after all he did to make it stay, all he sacrificed, all he gave up. being told that he had to work for another decade for his project to see the light of day but feeling the clock ticking, the breath leaving his lungs, knowing that the next time blood rushed out of his airways could be the last he would break at all. i think about viktor who did not save a single soul, of his dream of helping the undercity, of him saving jayce on that first night after the council meeting, of sky, joyful and hopeful sky, vanishing in a heap of violent ash, of all the shimmer user dropping like flies once viktor fell, of jayce's face full of fear when he closed his fist around viktor's own. everything he was, could have been, would have been. the brightest flame burns the fastest indeed.

[zonkity-zoo]

⭐️💨✨️🦅🦏 - laios

YEES les go. magic beast summoning spell

✨🐁💥🦝👀 - viktor

shiny mouse explodes racoon for an audience

💯🙏💛🟨👍

[haedyllic]

i promised you 🦋

(crossposting from x, bsky, & ig)

[kidovna]

laying there wondering what i’ve done to deserve this ending

[maskenjager]

I can't unsee this

[zonkity-zoo]

want to lock some people in a room with this post plastered on the walls

When I say "I can't do that" what I'm not saying is:

I don't feel interested in doing that

I don't care enough to

I'm too good to be doing that

I don't think you deserve that of me

I'm not in the mood to do that

Not now, I'll do it later

Maybe

If that's what I meant, that's what I would say

What I am saying is:

It will negatively affect me in ways I can't afford

I simply can't physically fucking do that

I can't risk the potentially severe consequences I may experience if I overestimate my ability to do that

And if I explain that I am unable to do that, it is not an invitation to:

Tell me how much my disability hurts your feelings

Ask if I'm sure

Interrogate me because you believe yourself to be the judge of how unwell is unwell enough

Put words in my mouth ("why don't you care?")

Tell me how easy it would be

Remind me of how many other things I've been unable to do. I keep the score more than you do

Accuse me of exaggerating or faking to avoid doing it

Ask me again shortly

Make assumptions about additional explanations. (I must be mad at you, I must not care about this)

Offer compensation in return ("I can pay you" "we can do something you want to do after" "I'll get you something you like")

Ask what it would take for me to suddenly be capable of doing it

Tell me how you do things you have to do when when you're tired and then you can just rest and recover. I am not like you

Remind me of a time I was able to do that. Either I had more spoons or was less severely disabled if at all.

Say that if I was well enough to do X today, I should be able to do this as well. Energy doesn't work that way. Are you capable of running 8 miles right this minute just because you were okay to work a 10 hour shift today? That's what I thought

Suggest simply doing it a certain way ("take your time", "do it sitting down", "we can stop and take breaks", "just take your painkillers", etc)

But it is an invitation to:

Leave me the fuck alone about it 💕

[fishfingersandscarves]

they've never had sex

[juraorbi]

coming back after a year of not posting art with a shitpost,, hello jayvik nation

[azvhaalk]

glorious evolution

[swedenis-h]

Wife lovers till they die

[zonkity-zoo]

do you see my vision

[loz-tearsofahomo]

tea

[afterthelambs]

"In another life I would have really liked just dancing and making inventions with you"

[molynomials]

im dissolving in sulfuric acid

[mettywiththenotes]

Caitlyn: Viktor's at the center of all this, isn't he?

Jayce: *deep sigh* I miss my wife, Caitlyn. I miss him a lot.