#views i hate you people that treat celebrities or famous people as gods i hate you people that can’t treat people like people

[wayward-sherlock]

chappell roan crying at the microphone during a show makes me want to kill someone actually.

[koushisatori]

if you can't believe in others, at least believe in us

kyoutani x gn!reader

genre: as ordered: a bit of angst w a touch of comfort

warnings: one (1) big jealous idiot, miscommunication

word count: 5.4k

note: this is smth an anon asked me to do (but like...nearly a year ago, I'm not sure if anon is still there or if they remember and my dumbass deleted the ask so I just beta-ed through whatever I had but I know they called me out on enjoying jealous characters so here we go) I'm sorry, mysterious anon, I'm stupid </3 Anyway, that's that. I don't remember if reader was supposed to be female or not so I made it gn!reader (but if I forgot to change something, pls tell me so I can fix any errors c: It's also my first attempt I apologize in advance)

In the beginning, you weren't sure why your boyfriend is ignoring you

You can't remember doing something that would annoy him, nor do you remember an instant of anger in his eyes that would give you a hint about his reasoning to stay away from you

He explained early on that sometimes he just needs a day of distance because Kentarou could feel the anger simmering right under the surface, enough that something small could tick him off already, and he would hate if you were on the receiving end of this unexplained fury

Both of you also made sure to promise each other to clearly communicate, the relationship between the two of you would not last long if you're not properly telling each other what might be bothering or hurting...just in general cross a boundary

Communication probably was one of the most important aspects of your relationship

cue to the actual situation: your boyfriend avoiding you

So, Monday evening you think maybe it's this overwhelming sensation of unexplained anger and that something at morning practice ticked him off completely

But then Tuesday comes and goes, and your boyfriend had avoided you all day long, did not even bother to read your messages,

on Wednesday, you try to talk to him, but all he does is glaring at you with a look that leaves you speechless and kind of heartbroken,

Thursday is the day you're replaying everything you did on Monday, trying to find something that he could have misunderstood, yet no matter how hard you think about it…your brain won't come up with a reason that explained why Kentarou was so upset with you!

So you decide to make him talk to you on Friday

Enough is enough, right? For gods' sake, he is your boyfriend! You miss him and his strong arms that give hugs so warm that you melt right into them

You don't get a second alone with him until school ends

you practically sprint out of the school building over to the gym, knowing that he had a free hour, which means that he is probably the first person there - your only chance

There he is, sitting with his back to you, aggressively chewing on a bun filled with chicken - his usual that reminded him of his favorite dish - glaring holes into the ground

After taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you carefully aks: ''Kentaro…Ken…?'', slowly stretching out your hand, wanting to rest it on his shoulder to maybe help to soothe him a bit

he flinches instead and his heated, agitated gaze meets your eyes, making you recoil in return

''…will you talk to me, I miss you…'' you say softly, realizing how it hurt being ignored by him

''Ah, suddenly you miss me…'' he spits, narrowing his eyes ''…didn't fucking seem like it the last time I saw you…''

''Kentaro, baby, I have no idea what you mean,'' you plead, keeping your voice low to hide the desperation lacing it, confusion written all over your features

all Kyoutani does is growl, hopping down from where he's sitting while shouldering his gym bag

''...shouldn't have been so flirty with Shittykawa like that then-'' he grumbles - ''Ken, I didn't-'' you insist, but he continues ''twirling your hair, batting your pretty eyelashes at him, fuck you Y/N, if you want him, then feel free to take a fucking leave" Kyoutani cusses, not even listening to you

You shake your head, ''Kentaro, no, you totally misunderstood the situation,'' you follow up, panic seeping into your voice now that you knew what he referred to, ''I love yo-''

''Tsk'', he moves to leave

you try to take his hand but, instead of turning around, Kyoutani just rips it away from you, tucking it into the pocket of his jacket

from behind you, you hear Yahaba and Oikawa approaching (talking about Volleyball and Captains duties)

once they guessed what must have happened, they offered you their help (they both swear that Kyoutani will never ever find a ''cute s/o as you are, y/n-chan, I'm worried for my little angry pomeranian kohai'' )

Usually, you would try to talk to him, but after enduring a week of radio silence and now this treatment, you were tired of upholding something that seemed like a lost cause

you just wave both setters off and leave the school grounds, a frown plastered onto your lips and tears swimming in your eyes

Kentarou had not listened to you, did not even really look at you, and the few seconds he did, his eyes were filled with rage instead of the warmth he had usually reserved for you (and only for you)

If your boyfriend thinks avoiding you for a week and blaming you for something ridiculous without hearing you out is how you handle a relationship…maybe you would have to consider not pursuing it any longer

Which is easier said than done

The whole night you wait for a message, anything, and then all Saturday morning

you still had hope left

You get one from Yahaba, who tells you that Oikawa tried to clear up the situation as well after the reason for your fight dawned on him (Kyoutanis piss poor mood and behavior towards him a strong indicator) but Kentaro, again, just ran off

The future team captain even called you after your lackluster answer, listening to you getting the frustration and sadness out of your system

It didn't matter, right? Your boyfriend decided to unofficially call it quits by implying that your feelings for him were not genuine instead of using his mouth to talk to you and disregarding everyone involved

as if he wanted to ignore the truth as a convenient excuse to get out of your relationship

that's the conclusion your brain came up with

You softly sniffle in the privacy of your room, clutching a pillow to your chest (which has seen more tears in the last two days than in the past three years), deciding that it would be a good idea to go into the city to treat yourself

knowing that your mother has a hair-dresser appointment somewhen today, you go and announce that you would join her to finally buy the latest season of your favorite series

once there, you additionally get microwave popcorn, chocolate, and ice cream, as well as a pretty shirt you saw on a mannequin while window shopping

you feel a lot better after spending some money and ignoring the lingering sadness of your presumable break up with Kyoutani (who you love ok, it is not that easy)

In between your stops, you meet Iwaizumi and Oikawa munching on fatty burgers (celebrating your cheat days like a holiday and indulging in whatever your heart desires, is what makes it easier to stick with healthier habits the rest of the time was the questionable explanation coming from the brown-haired setter, pointing at you with a soggy potato fry)

after a moment, the setters eyes turn sad, a frown replacing the smile on his lips

he wraps his fingers around your wrist to stop you from going just yet, apologizing for being the cause of your fight and for being unable to talk some sense into him

(you assure him that it is not his fault, knowing that your friend will probably brood over it otherwise, which wouldn't be fair)

Iwaizumi adds that Kyoutani will come around and that his cooldown time is just longer than those of other people (and if not, he will give him one of his famous volleyballs to the head and use his status as only truly respected senpai to talk some sense into him) but you again decline their suggestions

after saying goodbye (and seeing Iwaizumi give his best friend an assuring gentle pat on his shoulder, the secret softy in the usual harsh ace shining through)

If Kentaro was willing...able to throw away your relationship this easily, he can't possibly really love you, and you'd accept this even if it's hard and painful

Now remembered of what you had attempted to forget about, you feel your eyes sting with unshed tears (you thought there was no possibility of you having more tears to spill, yet the impossible seemed to be the case) you look down at your phone to text your mom and frown

Kentaro 🥰: we need to talk. Kentaro 🥰: meet me there [location]

For a second, you hesitate, biting your lower lip harshly…you really want to go and talk to him but…

The tears still sting in your eyes and blurring your view reminded you of what you had gone through the whole time, and that it was his turn to finally come to you

break up or makeup, the ball was in his court now

so while walking to where your mother would be waiting for you, you begin to type

You: No.

You: I waited for you all week, even though you ignored me, and now you expect me to run the moment you choose to stop being a childish idiot?

You: if you decide to speak to me then comqjdkn

Kentarou wouldn't say he feels particularly bad. Not at all! If someone was to ask him, he would probably answer fucking peachy, what the fuck are you asking for or growl angrily. No one would bat an eye and further question him, nor guess that maybe he wasn't as great as he pretended because he missed his gorgeous better half, but…it was his fault, wasn't it?

Of course, he originally thought he had a valid reason to be upset. And if he had just spoken to you about it, everything would be solved now. Instead of being a decent boyfriend, though, his pride overtook his thinking processes once he realized that his behavior wasn't even the slightest bit justified. Not that he knew this when he saw you speaking with Shittykawa right before school. All he could see was his gorgeous s/o shyly fiddling with her fingers, conversing with a leaned forward, very involved Oikawa Tooru. He would have fetched you away from the brown-haired setter. He had no qualms about showing his possessiveness. God, Kentarou wouldn't have hesitated to growl at the tall, brown-haired boy if not for the question he heard coming from the Captain.

''Y/N-chan, how is it that you, an adorable, charming individuum, is with a brute like Mad Dog-chan? I really-'' Well, that's where he decided to leave you with the setter. He didn't need to hear your answer. Didn't want to witness an excuse or maybe the truth. If both of you were so fucking smitten with each other to flirt this blatantly, why don't you just go and cheer for him, hold his hand, and kiss his cheek goodbye? It was his choice to distance himself.

Kyoutani couldn't help the feeling of betrayal and hurt washing over him. Maybe you just used him as a stepping stone to get closer with Oikawa, and Kyoutani has been too blind to see it. He never doubted you or your relationship before, but it's not a secret how eruptive Kyoutani could be. It has always been beyond his imagination how someone so cute and sweet like you could love a person like him. Your friends thought so. The teachers. The whole school! Everyone questioned your poor judgment. And when you came running up to him, you're cheery voice calling out for him, everyone present looked at you like you grew a second head. It's the reason why seeing you with Trashykawa ticked him off so bad. It catered to his biggest insecurities and fears. He knew that all those skeptics would be delighted to see you, everyone's darling, with the schools' star setter. They all would agree that the pretty, handsome young man is a better fit than the always hostile-looking troublemaker.

While Kyoutani didn't take Oikawa seriously in most cases, he undoubtedly was one of the most devoted people Kentarou had ever met. If Oikawa wanted to get a new serve right, he wouldn't stop trying and repeating it until his legs gave in, and Iwaizumi dragged him out of the gym. When he wanted to find more advanced players to practice with, so he could, in return, give this new knowledge to his team, there was no way he would not manage to make it happen. Even if his ideas, wishes, and plans cost him blood, sweat, and tears (like getting Kyoutani to actually train), Oikawa never backed down. Kentarou had heard that Oikawa's last girlfriend dumped him because of his passion for Volleyball. Yet Kyoutani couldn't help but think that, in you, the ambitious setter would have found someone that would be able to handle it. You usually came over to watch the team when you knew that Kyoutani was there to play. You sat on the stands with your homework in your lap and a Seijoh-coloured pencil wiggling between your fingers, not bothered by the noises coming from the court. You play with your earlobe while you frown at whatever problem you came across. You patiently wait for practice to finish. Kentarou was sure that you'd be someone Oikawa would actually try for. You weren't one of his squealing fangirls, hanging from his arm on every opportunity, but his friend. You didn't pester him to take selfies with you while pushing cute bentos into his hands. When you bring food to practice, then it's for the whole team to share. If he wanted you, Oikawa would probably have to win you over and make sure that you'd stay. Courting and all that jazz. In all seriousness, Shittykawa would be a fucking idiot if not.

The dyed-blond wing spiker had been so sure that he was rightfully mad that he didn't stop to think twice before he reacted this coldly towards you. But, and this made it even worse, Kentarou knew that he was wrong the moment you asked what happened after an entire week of enduring his silent treatment. The second he heard your shaky voice and saw the tears welling up in your eyes, his brain rebooted, and suddenly he wasn't so sure of his own reasoning. You two were together for about half a year. Kyoutani - by now - was confident in his ability to identify most of your expressions. All he could decipher in your eyes was pain, paired with a need to understand, but…if he was in the wrong…it would mean that he had hurt you the whole week, which in conclusion implied that Kentarou had been the world's shittiest boyfriend. Fuck, he thought, I don't deserve y/n.

His situation didn't get any better the moment Oikawa entered the gym. The person Kyoutani thought he had a real reason to despise now tried to mend the rift between the two of you.

''Mad Dog-chan, I think you misunderstood something there. Well, no, you decided to not listen-'' The taller male says, hands gesturing wildly. While his voice still had that annoyingly cheery tone, it had something commanding hidden underneath. And oh, how Kentarou hated when someone demanded something of him, even if it was for his own good. ''Don't want to hear it.'' the blond mutters, already aggravated. The brown-haired setter resolutely puts himself in the way again. ''Oh, but you have to! That morning, Y/N-chan literally declared her love for yo-'' - ''I don't fucking care.'' Kentarou barks, not looking Oikawa in the eyes.

After another fruitless attempt to get properly into the gym, he growls and turns to leave. Already on his way to grab his stuff and take a leave, he hears Oikawa yelling. ''You answered and justified why I asked Y/N-chan to begin with!" And then louder, even though he could make out Iwaizumi trying to wrestle his childhood friend back into the gym, "APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT! YOU BETTER GROVEL FOR Y/N'S FORGIVENESS! THEY DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS SHOW YOU'RE PUTTING ON, AND YOU KNOW IT!"

This happened on Friday evening, and the guilt was gnawing away on him ever since. On his way home, Kyoutani had automatically taken the detour to your house. Kentarou enjoyed bringing you home (and more often than not, you pulled him inside with you, making him cuddle you!). It makes him feel like a good boyfriend, and he knew that you arrived there safely. He would never tell anybody and deny it if you ever decided to share this, but Kentarou relished in the feeling of your hand holding his all the way while going on about your day. He admired that you'd pet every cat and every dog you meet on the trip home together with him. You were perfect for him…why again did he act like this?

What caused Kyoutani's attempt to apologize - in his usual overly blunt and partly aggressive kind of way - was Yahaba, though. Both boys denied being remotely something beyond 'not really enemies'. But his future team captain was definitely one of the very few people that could and would tell him to his face that he fucked up without real repercussions. He would presumably even help Kyoutani to get it together.

After Yahaba had called you and listened to your heartbreaking rant, the setter realized that you, his friend, and his 'not really enemy' needed to talk ut out. Totally immersed in your tirade, you accidentally let slip that you couldn't endure Kyoutani's treatment any longer. That being pushed over by your boyfriend with brash and hurtful words after handling the cold shoulder was too much. That you expected Kyoutani to break up with you on Monday either way. In-person, if he had mercy on you or continue his treatment as a silent method of doing so. While you told Yahaba about your planned ''get over it-self-care'' weekend (involving tons of ice cream, movies with crying guarantee, lots of blankets, and no smartphone), the setter had already put on his jacket, shooting a message to Kyoutani.

From Yahaba: get your stupid fucking ass outside to meet me, or I'll bench you the complete season next year

Even though the wing spiker was sure that Yahaba's words were nothing but empty words, Kentarou allowed himself to accept this threat as an excuse to put his pride aside. Because, even though Yahaba annoyed him to no end - not as bad as Oikawa but still - Kentarou was also aware that you and he were friends. If someone could help him gaining your forgiveness, Kyoutani had to accept and admit that it was Yahaba. Meeting his light brown-haired teammate was kind of awkward. Kyoutani was unsure what he had to expect, though he should have seen the rough treatment coming. Yet, getting told that you, the person Kentarou was undeniably in love with, felt so neglected and hurt that you deemed this relationship to be as good as over allowed the guilt monster in his chest to grow. Shitty Oikawa was probably right ordering him to grovel and beg on his knees for you to even hear him out.

Your answer to his message was partly unlike you. Well, the last sentence. You usually were pretty forward with him to avoid miscommunication and uncalled-for moping around. And while you sometimes send keyboard smashes to express the chaos you felt, they were always in a separate message and not so…random. The text definitely meant something like ''then come to me'' but somehow, Kyoutani had an uneasy feeling about the whole thing.

Besides, he couldn't just wait till Monday and hope that you'd accept his apology! You may send him away today already, but he still had a teeny-tiny bit of hope. If he let the thoughts of him leaving you or the other way around fester in your mind for two whole days, though,…you'd probably realize that leaving him wasn't that bad of a decision. You'd come to the conclusion that all your admirers could treat you better than Kyoutani did. And he was too selfish to let you leave. Even though all he did the whole week was being self-centered and stuck up, he would be damned to begin being a saint now and let you go. That you at least were willing to talk to him was…a relief, to say the least. Kentarou hoped that this translated to you being willing to put up with him a little longer if he apologized correctly. That you're not opposed to giving him another chance to make things right.

At your house, he was greeted with darkness. Not even a single light illuminating any of the rooms he could see from his spot on your front lawn. And the ones he saw were your and your mom's most-used rooms. Your room window, your mothers' workroom, and the living room area with an adjacent kitchen. All of those rather significant rooms and the lack of light in them seemed to be a dead giveaway for Kyoutani that no one was home. Kyoutani guessed that you were probably out with your mom, glancing over to the empty spot in front of the garage.

Oh god, your mother had been the only supportive person of your relationship. Maybe it's in your family to see the best in everyone, even in shitty people like him. But if you told her about his behavior, she'd most likely not welcome him with a smile ever again, no matter if you forgave him.

There weren't many things Kyoutani could do in this situation, but it wasn't as late as nature let it on, and after a few seconds, he had decided to sit down at the front door and wait for you, hoping that it wouldn't take too long for you to come home. As if fate wanted to tell him something, the wing spiker had put on the jacket with the half-full power bank. He had worn it to the shelter when he visited it this week while distracting himself from your absence in his daily life. You had gifted him the piece of clothing, which is probably why he unconsciously had decided to wear it to everything he did after school in the first place.

Kentarou passed the time by snarling at people eyeing him for a moment too long to not be judgmental, petting the neighbors' cat wandering over to him, and watching videos. Every time he thought ''Y/N would like this'', his heart stuttered guilty.

To Kentarou, it felt like an eternity until your mother's car finally drove up the entry. To avoid your mother's potentially deadly stare, he nervously checked his mobile, realizing that he had waited for a little more than 3 hours. Yet, the wait had done nothing to soothe his nerves. They instantly spiked up again while his heart threatened to jump out of his throat.

She will hate me. Your mother would hate me, she'll hate me, she'll ha-

''Ah, Ken-chan! Good evening.'' Your mother greets him with a tired, yet still gentle smile. Oh. The blond blanches. He'd never admit it, but he enjoyed the treatment he received from your mother more than he should. Being spoken to without suspicion and receiving a warm smile every time without fail was a welcome change to his daily life. Your mother didn't listen to people trying to bad-mouth him. To her, he simply was the boy that - normally - treats her child the way a mother wished for. Even if he pulled a face as long as a fiddle.

''I didn't know you were coming, Ken-chan, or I would have messaged you…but now that you're here, maybe you can assist us out and help Y/N inside? It would help a lot.'' His gaze immediately flitted over to you on the passenger seat. With your arms crossed in front of your chest and that stubborn but endearingly cute pout on your lips, he nearly missed the tiredness your body emitted. Kentarou wanted to rush over to your side immediately but was stopped by your mother again. ''I don't know what you two are fighting about…but please talk to each other. I don't want my baby to be this sad. Especially now, and…'' she rests a hand on his shoulder, her eyes kind and comforting ''…I also don't want to miss you here, alright?'' He stiffly nodded and watched your mother carrying in plastic bags filled with various medicine packages and food.

After coming back to his senses, Kyoutani finally stumbled over to your side, practically ripping open the car door. This new perspective revealed a plaster cast wrapping your whole left leg and a removable wrist brace on your right hand. ''Bab- Y/N…what the fuck…happened?'' His honey-brown eyes continued to wander over your injuries, and with every second, he found more. Scratches and scrapes, bandaids and bandages peeking out from underneath your clothes. ''I'm so sorry,'' he whispered, hanging his head low.

All your intentions to fight his helping hand and limp over to the door by yourself disintegrated into nothing. You never witnessed such a devastated, beaten expression on his face before. Instead, you settle for ''Will you help me?''. A question asked quietly to your fingers picking at a loose band-aid edge on your arm and pressing it back onto the irritated skin.

After you loosened your seatbelt, he waits for you to carefully place your arms around his neck. It is followed by Kyoutani lifting you out of the car so gently as if he was afraid you might break. This whole situation in itself already contradicting his brash appearance and usual behavior. It would give whiplash to all the people pretending to know him. But he was always caring in his own way when it came to you. It's why you loved him after all. Because you usually knew that he loved you, too.

For a few moments, the atmosphere between the two of you felt awkwardly tense, both of you unsure how to interact with each other. The mostly blonde wing spiker breathed out a sigh of relief when you fully leaned into his chest once he stood upright, resting your head against his shoulder. A bit of maneuvering through the front door eventually lead to Kyoutani passing through the hallway and taking you to your room, where he was gently lowering you down on the bed.

It was a now or never kind of situation. For the both of you. While Kentarou was trying to find out where to begin his apology, he took a few steps back in case you wanted space until everything was cleared up.

You unconsciously helped him making a decision by impulsively grasping onto his shirt the moment he started to withdraw, stopping him in his retreating movement. Kentarou saw your lower lips wobbling, teary eyes looking up at him pleadingly.

''Please stay,'' you say weakly, which is enough for him to throw the whole thinking process away and simply sit down next to you, intertwining both your hands. ''I'm staying. I'm not leaving. Not now nor this relationship if you still want...an ''us''. The wing spiker took a deep, shuttering breath. '' I'm sorry, Y/N…'' he finally manages to say, honey eyes locked onto your linked your hands. ''I have been fucking stupid all week. 've been a fucking terrible boyfriend, the worst to ever exist.''

As if to encourage him...to show your boyfriend that his apology was not for nothing, you shuffled around until the last bit of distance between the two of you was closed. You hum, acknowledging his words while leaning your head on his shoulder.

''I didn't think you're cheating or something, …'' Kyoutani immediately assures you. There was no way he would allow you to think that he would accuse you of something like this. ''I had no reason to be jealous, but I was insecure. Let it get the best of me. Despite our promise to communicate, I was sulking. 't was easier. I'll do whatever the fuck you want for you to not give up yet…'' he says, taking his time with every sentence.

With a sigh, you squeeze his hand. ''It will probably take a lot of cuddling and attention from you...'' you say thoughtfully ''...but I forgive you…if you promise to not do this again…'' you murmur, tilting your head upward to press a chaste kiss to his jaw. ''Otherwise, I'll accept Iwaizumi-san's offer to get your thinking process restarted.'' For a moment, your voice had its usual joking edge. But you knew talking out everything was necessary. ''But, in all honesty, 'Tarou....please, never do this again. I am honest. I will not endure this a second time. When you tell me that you need a day or two for yourself then that is totally fine. If you feel yourself giving into whatever insecurity, talk to me about it. I am sure there will be an explanation or a solution but don't leave me in the dark. Don't treat me like that. I love you. Only you and no one else. But the time love can withstand straight-up ignorance by your partner is limited.''

Slowly, your boyfriend nodded, squeezing your hand to tell you that he understood. You would probably cling to him for a while but were sure that he would survive the extra closeness. Not even half a second later, his head leans onto yours cautiously.

''…and try being nicer to Oikawa-san, Tarou, he hasn't done anything to you.'' You add humorously before small giggles started to erupt from your lips. ''Also...Baby…'' you start, being interrupted by choked-up hiccups and giggles. By using your nickname for him, you take away another persistent fear of his. What he does not miss, however, is how you wince in pain before you continue, ''…who helped you put this into words? I mean…I loved it, but…,'' You leave unsaid that words usually are not his strong fort.

Biting back a smile, he frowns, huffs, and puffs…, but the way you are looking up at him, eyes shining with relief and adoration, allows him to admit defeat. He sighs ''…it's how Yahaba said I should say it…'' It usually would be an odd enough statement to make you throw yourself all over him with laugher. As a slight replacement, you squeeze his hand a bit, still shaking with suppressed laughter. ''I promise…that I will talk to you. Can't promise the Shittykawa part.'' Another soft chuckle leaves your lips before you look up at him again. ''I hope you try nonetheless. You should not let Iwaizumi-san hear you calling Oikawa-san that, though, I don't think this would turn out well for you…so...maybe stop this at least.'' Kentarou rolls his eyes at you, but in the end, he nods.

You wait for another second to clearly distinguish the two topics before you continue. ''…Thank you…for coming and finally speaking with me instead of break-'' A hand on your lips muffles your words.

''Don't say these words. I'd never break up with you,'' Kentarou grumbles, a light, uncharacteristic light pink settling on his cheeks. You stick your tongue out, which leads to him taking his hand off of your face with a surprised noise, rather dumbfounded that you had licked his hand. It gives you the chance to lean up and finally press your lips against his. ''I'm not leaving you either,'' you murmur, feeling his lips twitch upwards slightly. You decide to leave the teasing for another day.

Moving back into your previous position was enough of a hassle to hiss in pain. It brought back Kyoutani's awareness of the second problem at hand. ''What did happen to you?'' Kyoutani asks in an attempt to tamper down the excited, happy beating of his heart.

''Oh, this...uh, when I answered your text, I got driven over by a dude on a bicycle,'' you casually drop. It was kind of entertaining to watch his expressions change at an unequaled pace while processing your words. In the end, it settled into something akin to passive-aggressive worry. The way he was immediately fretting over you while cursing and cussing out the bicycle dude was his own way of caring. As you watch him retrieving the food your mother bought, while mumbling about how you're a dumbass for not paying attention to your surroundings, how he'd come over every day until you could go to school again to bring and teach you the stuff you would miss and how he would fucking murder the bicycle idiot if he ever finds out who dared to drive you over, you can't help the smile forming on your lips.

Once again, you are proven that loving him - while occasionally troublesome and demanding - was everything but wrong.

[theonewiththefanfics]

Tomato - Tomato (one-shot)

Synopsis: One is an international rock-star. The other is his loyal assistant. Both are complete morons in love. Also - she’s allergic to tomatoes, and it is important.

This started off as something completely else. hope you enjoy :D

Pairing: Harry Styles x fem!Assistant!Reader

Genre: fluff, minor angst

Warnings: two idiots pining for one another, swearing, mentions of allergies and EpiPens

Word count: 3492

Being an assistant to someone famous wasn’t all glamourous parties and wild nights out with celebrities. It was scheduling last minute flights and not sleeping for three days straight as you packed a million bags and then repacked because their stylist sent you knew pieces and the old ones no longer fit the aesthetic of the week.           It was also making sure that they were up by six AM with a hot coffee at their bedside ready to help them wake up as you lay out a detailed plan of the day down to the minute, while you yourself basically only had a two-hour nap because you had to finish off 568 handwritten notes to be sent out to each of the contacts in their phone. Or at least that’s what Y/N’s life was like being the personal assistant to none other than the modern-day prince of rock Harry Styles.            Said rockstar was actually still asleep when Y/N entered his room, ripping open the curtains and letting in the rising sun. He groaned, pulling up the bedsheets that’d ridden down his form during the night. “Not that I don’t like seeing your gorgeous face in the mornings….” he mumbled into the covers. “But I don’t like seeing your face in the mornings when they start at six bloody AM.”           Y/N snorted and rolled her eyes, rubbing them in an attempt to get rid of the sleep that still lingered in her own body. “You were the one that said you’re fine with seeing Lambert at eight for a fitting.”           “When did I say that?” Harry scoffed, only the top of his messy bedhead seen from the cocoon he’d built around himself.           “Would you like me to pull up the text messages, the calendar or the e-mails?”           Even with her back turned as she rummaged through his closet for him to put on some clothes, she could sense the middle finger he threw at her, and she smiled.           Despite everything, despite the zero sleep and stress always coursing through her veins, Y/N loved working for him. He treated her as a friend, not just some lackey he paid to, but most importantly, comparatively to the other people she’d worked for in the same line of business – he treated her as a human.           If something went over the deadline, Harry didn’t scream or yell at her and tell Y/N how incompetent she was, instead he asked what kind of help or assistance she needed to get the job done, or maybe if she just needed some time off to gather herself and look at the problem with fresh eyes.           “I hate how organised you are,” Harry groaned, finally throwing the covers off.           “If I wasn’t, you’d be in a ditch somewhere.”           She heard him scoff and two feet plop against the hardwood floor as he made his way towards her. “Is that how little faith you have in me?”           “You don’t even know what day it is!”           “Who does in these times?”           Y/N shrugged her shoulders and handed him a pair of boxers, some loose jeans, and a flowery Hawaiian shirt. “Are you telling me I’m wrong though?”           She looked over to her side, a smirk playing on her lips while he squinted his green eyes at her. “No, but it doesn’t mean I like getting called out, especially this early in the morning.”

          With a roll of her eyes and a shove at his shoulder for him to move to the bathroom, Y/N handed him the clothes, moving downstairs to start making him some light breakfast and get herself a cold glass of water.           You see, she’d been working as his assistant for close to two years, and they’d grown not only as people around one another, challenging their beliefs and world views, but as friends too. And, well, Y/N would be lying if the emotions hadn’t evolved from platonic to falling in love. Not that she’d ever admit it. He was an international sensation, and she was the girl who got him vegetarian croissants at the airport.           She dragged a hand down her face as she clicked the stove on and took out a carton of eggs from the fridge. Y/N knew how he liked his omelette to the T, mostly because when she’d spent the first night of quarantine with him a year prior right as the pandemic had started, Harry had wanted to do something nice because she couldn’t go and see her family any more, so he’d gotten up at seven to make breakfast for both of them. The only problem was, he hadn’t asked if she had any allergies, so as he added bits of tomatoes, parsley, cheese and scallions, Harry hadn’t expected Y/N’s eyes to go wide at the first bite as she dropped the fork.           “Harry…” Her tone had been cautious. “What’s in this?”           He was sweating. Was his cooking really that bad? He just wanted to do something nice and there he was screwing everything up. “ ‘S just some of my favourite things. I’m sorry I didn’t ask, I just thought you’d like it.”            “I do, but this tastes like it has tomatoes in it.”           He nodded. “Yeah. It does.”           Gently she smiled at him and pushed the plate a bit further away. “Could you grab me a coat, and if you have any – an EpiPen?”           “An Epi – oh shit!” When the realisation hit him, Harry was jumping out of his seat, running to one of the cupboards and rummaging through in a panic all the while apologies flew non-stop from his mouth.           Y/N in the meantime had gathered her purse and mask, making a call to the nearest hospital to explain the situation to which they responded they’d be waiting for her arrival.           “I’m so sorry!” Harry ran up to her, a first-aid kit in his shaking hands. “Please don’t die! I didn’t want to kill you, I promise! I just wanted to make you some breakfast cause you do so much for me, and now you’re stuck here, and – oh god,” he cried. “I’m going to be prosecuted for killing my assistant.”           She didn’t mean to, but the snort came out of her nose either way. “Harry.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “Please calm down. I’m not going to die.”           “You’re allergic!”           “Yes, I am, but I only had a small bite. The ER is just a precaution.” Y/N took his palms in hers and squeezed them. “Now take a deep breath with me…” They did so, holding it for five seconds and letting it out for eight. “And calm down a bit. I’ll go give myself the shot, and then I’ll drive to the hospital.”           “Let me,” Harry begged. “Please, let me at least drive you to the emergency room. God, I almost killed you with an omelette, it’s the least I can do. I – I could also help you with the shot, I won’t hit an artery, I promise -”           “Harry, you’re barely coherent. Not to say anything, but you’d have a bigger chance of killing me in a car crash, than from that tomato.” Y/N gave him a smile. “I’m gonna be fine.”           With that, she left him to venture into the bathroom and did the unpleasant part of stabbing herself in the thigh to alleviate her body from the allergy symptoms. She sat there for around five minutes before she felt that the swelling of her tongue and itching in her throat was starting to subside, which meant the epinephrine was working.           “Okay,” she huffed, taking her purse from the couch where Harry had been sitting, hugging the accessory. “I’ll be back in probably around two hours. Do we need anything from the store?”           He shook his head. “Just come back home, please.”           Y/N would never admit how her heart thundered in her chest when Harry said to come back ‘home’. “I will.” She promised. “Don’t you worry. You’re not getting rid of me that easy, Styles. The money’s too good.” She winked at him and then left Harry pouting on the couch, but she couldn’t get through the door, before he jumped up, yelling, “wait! Do I need to get rid of every tomato in the house?”           “No,” she laughed. “I’m good to be around them. Even touch them. ‘S just my insides that don’t agree with it when they meet.”           “Okay.” He nodded, hands on his hips. “Alright. I’ll uh – I’ll be waiting. I’ll make you something else.”           “There’s no need for that, Harry.”           His eyes widened at her words. “I swear I’m not trying to murder you!”           “Oh my god,” she muttered shaking her head. “Just – just relax. Okay. I’ll send you hourly updates.”           He bit his lip. “Make it every ten minutes.”           “Harry –,”           “Please?” The way he was giving her puppy dog eyes melted her heart.           With an eye-roll, Y/N waved at him and promised to update her boss at every possible moment and confirm that he hadn’t, in fact, been the reason for her demise. Well, he was the reason for the demise of her low standards in men, having taken them and thrown them up to the Moon, but unless her feelings were miraculously requited or if one of the Marvel characters, she was obsessed with came to life, she’d have to stick to what was available. And in her mind, that wasn’t Harry.           “What are you thinking about?” His voice startled Y/N out of the memory, and she shook her head, adding salt and pepper to the beaten eggs.           She shrugged. “Just about that time a year ago where you secretly tried to off me because you were too nice to say you didn’t wanna quarantine together.”           The groan he let out was of royal embarrassment, and it put a wide smile on her face, as she took one of the forsaken fruits and started to chop the red ball into small pieces.           “You’ll never let me live it down, are you?”           Y/N raised her eyebrow at him. “Your failed murder attempt?” She snorted. “Of course not! It’s like you don’t watch the crime shows and murder documentaries when I have them on. You really haven’t learned anything.”           Harry stuck his tongue out at her and moved to her side, dropping some chives into the mix as well. “Well given how it wasn’t a murder attempt, I wouldn’t consider it a fail.”           Her hip bumped his, and only then did Y/N really give him a once-over. As always, he looked amazing in whatever was on his body, but what made him even cuter in her eyes was the sleepiness still lingering in him.           Harry’s movements were a little bit sluggish, eyes half-closed and small sighs passing his lips as he sipped onto the coffee she’d come to his place with. The shirt sat loosely on his body, the first two buttons left open while he’d tucked the bottom of it into the jeans, having found a Gucci belt and cinched it around his waist, giving it a more eighties look rather than the sixties vibe he usually had with his suits.           The brown hair was still messy and dishevelled, and Y/N could barely, just barely restrain herself from running her fingers through it, but what she didn’t know Harry was struggling just as much.           All he wanted to do was pull out the bottom lip Y/N had gotten in between her teeth and kiss her senseless, to have her fingers dig into his arms and leave crescent shaped imprints on his skin.           “So, uh…” He had to start a conversation otherwise his mouth would find itself on Y/N’s mouth in a second. “What’s Lambert got in his schedule? How many outfits is he thinking?”           “Two or three, I think,” she said, pouring the mixture on the pan and letting the slow sizzle erupt around them. “He’s got this one suit which I think you’ll really like – all leather, but it needs to be altered.”           Harry hummed, and for a second both of them relished in the domestic feel of it all. They’d had many moments like it before, especially during the spring and summer seasons of 2020, and Y/N couldn’t help but relish in her memories at them.           “Harry?” It was like her voice snapped him out from a trance. “Could you pass me a plate please?’           “Uh, yeah,” he stammered for a moment and then nodded, wordlessly going to a cupboard and taking out a white marbled plate. That single piece of kitchenware probably cost more than her life insurance, but it was definitely aesthetic if nothing else.           Silently Y/N plopped the omelette onto the plate, placing it on the kitchen counter and went to get him a fork, however when she turned around, he was facing her, chewing quite agressively on the inside of his cheek.           “You okay?” she asked, coming closer. “I can call Lambert, reschedule it for later. He wouldn’t be too happy about having to wake up and then – “           But Harry shook his head. “It’s not that.”           “Then what?”           He didn’t say anything. It was like he was trying to decipher the best course of action, and when he ultimately did, Y/N was pressed up against the counter, Harry’s forehead against hers with two ring-clad hands cupping her cheeks.           “Harry,” she breathed, out her lips brushing his making the air in her lungs hitch. “What are you doing?”           “Something I’ve been dying to do for a year now. If you let me that is.”           “I -,” The words were muddled up in her head. Of course, Y/N wanted him to kiss her, she wanted him to ravish every part of her body. The fantasies and dreams she’d had at night would be incriminating proof if her feelings were on trial, but despite it all, her brain was usually in charge and would overrule any decision made by her heart. “Harry, we can’t.” She whispered, voice breaking.           “I -,” Horror morphed onto his features as he took a step back. “Did I misread the signals? Did I do something you don’t wan –“           “No.” She grabbed onto his cheeks, trying to calm him down, his body practically melting into hers. “I do.” She didn’t need to explain what she meant. He understood. “So much it hurts me sometimes… but Harry, you’re my boss. My employer. It… it wouldn’t be right.”           “Why? How can it not be right, when it feels like the rightest thing in the world?”           “Because, Harry,” she huffed. “You’re my boss. And what’s worse – I love working for you!”           That made both of them laugh, the tone of her voice as if she was more annoyed than anything else. “ ‘Nd why’s that bad?” He nudged her nose with his. “I’d hope my employees like working with me. What kind of a person would I be if I thrived on them being miserable?”           “Because if I didn’t, quitting would be easy.” She raised her eyebrow at him. “And if I quit there’d be nothing stopping us from dating.”           Harry bit his lip, finger trailing along her cheekbone. “There’s nothing stopping us now either. There is no clause in your contract that says you can’t date people who you work for or with. Sarah’s with Mitch, and they’re the happiest they’ve ever been. They’re even having a baby…”           Y/N gave him a sympathetic smile. “I know. But that’s different. They’re on equal levels. You and I, however… I don’t want people to think I got my job because I slept with you, or some shit. It’s bad enough some already do so.”           His brows furrowed, and Y/N saw how his jaw clenched. “Who?”           “Strangers.” She shrugged. “I know you don’t look at comments like that online, but I see them. My DMs are filled with that. Gossip magazines. The point is – there are already unsubstantiated rumours about us. This would give them the confirmation they’d need.”           “How can it confirm something that’s not true?”           “There are still people who believe vaccines cause autism. Even when their ‘proof’ has been discredited and shown to be just complete bullshit, most don’t like to admit they’re wrong, so they’ll look for whatever tells them they’re right.”           Harry huffed throwing his head back to look at the ceiling. “So, where does that leave us? In love, but without being able to do anything about it? Because I can’t.” He shook his head. “I won’t be able to just pass you by without kissing you, or not pull you into the bed when you wake me up, or press you against the wall and not have my head between these two gorgeous legs.”           Y/N groaned slapping his chest and dropping her forehead against his peck. “That is so unfair. Why do you have to tease me like that!”           “Oh, sweetheart.” The rumble was deep and shot a wave of heat straight to her core. “This is no teasing.” The smirk on his face when she looked up at him was shit-eating. “Trust me, if I was teasing, you’d be begging for me.”           She’d imagined him between her thighs more times than it was appropriate considering he was her boss, but hot damn, did it feel amazing when his lips crashed onto hers, and she let him. In her dreams, his lips hadn’t been just pressed to her mouth but other places which were more south, but it was still one of the best feelings in the world.           The kiss left them both breathless, and grinning and satisfied, yet begging for more, teeth nipping at the soft flesh.           “I’ll put out an official statement, if you want,” Harry muttered against her mouth, unable to stop pecking her lips now that’d he’d gotten a taste. “But please, please, please… for both our sanities go out on a date with me.”           It seemed like Y/N was the one contemplating the best plan of action now when her brows furrowed and she looked up at him, pressing and unpressing her lips, as the swelling from the kiss grew. “Did you by any chance have a piece of that omelette already?” She had a suspicion it wasn’t just from the kiss.           His eyes widened, and then his head dropped to her shoulder. “Not again!”           Y/N rolled her eyes lifting his face by the chin so he would look at her. “How about EpiPen first?”           “Fair enough,” Harry grumbled unlatching himself from her and going for his keys and wallet, already preparing for the short drive they’d have to take. “But then a date?”           She raised her eyebrow, taking out the box Harry now kept under the sink with at least three EpiPen’s for emergencies. “In a hospital?”           “We could be going dumpster diving for all I care, and I’d count it as a date.”           Y/N rolled her eyes. “You’ll have to do so much better than that; you’ve almost put me in anaphylactic shock twice. Now come on.” She motioned with her head towards the bathroom. “Stab me and take me to the ER.”           “Fucking tomatoes,” Harry grumbled, taking her by the hand and not letting it go even for the short walk.           “Tomato-tomato, you’re the one that kissed me.”           “That I don’t regret.”           Y/N smiled, turning towards him, and taking him by the nape of his neck pulled Harry down for one more kiss, groaning at the feeling of his tongue dancing against hers.           “Y/N!” He pulled back with a gasp, shock on his face.           She just shrugged her shoulders. “We’re already going to see the doctors anyway.”           Harry pushed her shoulder and made her sit down onto the toilet. “Take your pants off before my kisses kill you.”           “Yes, daddy.” Y/N wiggled her eyebrows as Harry moaned, squeezing her calf.            His eyes were dark as he looked up at her. “Next time this happens, you’ll be begging me.”           Her wicked smile was so full of happiness he couldn’t help the one that grew on his face. “I’ll be keeping you to it. Now, dear sir.” She handed him the EpiPen. “Hit me with your best shot.”           And although it’d been now two times in their lives where Harry trying to do something good and make the other feel just as good had done pretty much the opposite, when they got to the emergency room, their smiles could be felt even under their masks           Harry watched with blushing cheeks as Y/N explained the situation to the nurse, especially when one of them threw him an unsavoury glance, eyebrow raised high as if saying ‘again? One time wasn’t enough?’.           “No more tomatoes.” He promised. “And also - it wasn’t on purpose!”           Y/N squeezed his palm, chuckling. She may not be able to give a shot at eating a tomato, but she sure as hell was going to give Harry one. After all, she had almost died for the man. Twice.

Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):

Harry Styles tags: @breezykpop​ @girlboss99​ @harrystylesdoesntknowiexist​ @alliyjane​ @sirtommyholland​ @raylovessarcasm @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @harryhub​

Everything tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass @dewy-biitch @avxgers @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28 @lestersglitterglue​ @im-squished​

A/N: I’m at work and I wanted to write a bit for my book, but hahahahahahaha I can’t stop procrastinating. Also, this was something comepletely else centered around Christmas, then New Year and the Valentines, but I just couldn’t and it morphed into this. Maybe this Holiday season when it rolls around I’ll post it :D

P.S. if anyone’s had a septoplasty (repositioning of the septum) - how was it? how painful is it? kinda starting my journey towards it cause apparently I can’t breathe out of my left nostril, but I’m kinda scared ngl. I’ve read some horror stories about having holes and pieces of the cartilage fall out afterwards :/// 

P.S.S. what did ya think? my tags are always open, just drop a message if you wanna be added :)

P.S.S.S please don’t plagiarise or repost my work on other platforms (wattpad, AO3 etc)

[azucanela]

Hi! i’d like to request a Zuko x Reader oneshot please and it takes place a few years after he’s crowned as the Fire Lord: Zuko is entering suitable age for marriage and yet he has no one that he likes enough to take as his queen, what if Uncle Iroh hired the reader whom is a famous matchmaker that usually arranges the courting & marriage between nobles, but instead of all these ladies that she threw at him he ended up falling for her instead but he’s just so awkward and inexperienced Thank u

INAMORATA | ZUKO X READER

SUMMARY: after a few years of being Fire Lord, Zuko still hasn’t found a companion. so naturally, when Iroh comes upon a matchmaker, he does what he does best and helps Zuko out by hiring her to help him find someone. and inadvertently... iroh ends up playing matchmaker himself. 

WORD COUNT: 12.6k

WARNINGS: mentions of death, death threats, kissing, pining, very mild innuendos, blood, injuries, crying

A/N: this is literally art omg i feel kinda honored to be seeing this ngl and i ended up researching matchmaking and they’re basically therapists that help you find love?? kinda. the profile thing is something that some matchmakers do and idk i have fun analyzing zuko so

in·am·o·ra·ta/iˌnaməˈrädə/

noun

a woman with whom one is in love or has intimate relations.

ATTEMPT ZERO

After years of being the Fire Lord, Zuko had come to realize the job was pretty basic if you thought about it long enough. There were just a few major things to deal with. First, there’s the internal relations, like the civil wars and uprising he deal with at the start of his reign because people disliked his ways. Then there’s the external relations, Zuko worked alongside Aang to repair those, helping the Southern Water Tribe rebuild itself from the ground up, and hosting meetings between the nations, friendly and work related. Those are the more diplomatic aspects of the job, and sadly, even as a ruler who sought to end a war, there was still violence in the world. 

When Aang and the rest of Team Avatar ended the One Hundred Year War, that only exposed a variety of other problems within the world, problems that the team seeked to end. There were people out there who disliked this line of thinking, and similarly wanted it to end, but ending the lives of Team Avatar.

Zuko was used to the death threats, and the assassination attempts. He’d had a security detail in place to ensure he lived to rule his nation, this was especially necessary since he lacked an heir and the only other people eligible for the throne were an old man who ran a tea shop and a psychopathic teenage girl in a mental institution. This is where the social aspect of the job came in, the part that Zuko had never been good at. The Galas and the girls who threw themselves at him, the nobility of all nations that approached him offering their children’s hand in marriage. Zuko was an enigma, a young and powerful bachelor, and now all the nobles with children were lining up for a minute alone with him to try and sell their own kids.

It disgusted him. The way they treated their children like cattle reminded Zuko of his own father, how willing he was to get rid of Zuko since he had a replacement on standby. Though, Zuko sincerely doubted he ever would’ve gotten the throne if Ozai had a choice, even if he hadn’t been banished. 

Alas, even Zuko could recognize the urgency of it, the death threats weren’t letting up, and the assassination attempts were only getting more and more elaborate, leaving Zuko wondering when they’d no longer be attempts. He needed and heir, or at least a wife who could rule alongside him and take over entirely in the event of his death.

The problem was, he didn’t want this.

He was in a unique position, where the person he married would have an immense effect on society, on politics. If it was an Earth Kingdom girl, then maybe the years of violence against their people could be mended sooner, and they could begin working together to combat a variety of issues. If he ends up with a Fire Nation girl, it could be viewed as strengthening the traditional ideals of Fire Nation independence and sovereignty because the Fire Nation is “supreme.”

Dating was political now and he hated it. It wasn’t like Zuko wanted to be alone, it’s just that now everything mattered far more than it used to. Of course, even as a prince it had been the same, but now that he was the Fire Lord, things seemed to be ten times worse. Perhaps it was excessive but Zuko couldn’t help but feel paranoid whenever a new person entered his life, he couldn’t help but assume that they were just using him for some other agenda.

Of course, his friends had tried to assure him this wasn’t always the case, and they’d even made attempts to set him up with girls. All of which had failed. Zuko knew he wasn’t an easy person, much less an easy person to date. As Fire Lord, a lot of his time was taken up by meetings, and diplomatic missions, and not-so-diplomatic missions alongside Team Avatar. That and he was rather awkward when it came down to most social interactions, though he’d improved over time, especially as the ruler of a nation, his speeches were elegant and so was the way he negotiated with other kingdoms. 

And yet he struggled to talk to strangers.

Iroh seemed to be tired of this as well, he’d sent Zuko several letters in regards to his lack of romance, insisting that he was a “handsome young man” that had “lots of potential” and he was “wasting” his prime with so much work. Zuko didn’t consider managing a country as a waste, though he understood where Iroh was coming from, Zuko probably should’ve been spending time with friends, going to clubs. Not saving the world.

Regardless, there wasn’t much he could do about, he didn’t have time for dating, and Zuko wasn’t willing to compromise his morals and beliefs just for an heir in the event that he got brutally murdered. He refused to raise a child just for that purpose. He learnt the hard way that you should only have kids if you intend to cherish them. And the idea of marrying someone just to strengthen his nation felt wrong, though he could see the benefits.

God, he hated being Fire Lord sometimes.

On the other hand, Y/N L/N liked her job. Amongst the nobility of the Earth Kingdom, she was a rather famous woman, Y/N had brought together some of the most powerful couples in the country. A lot of people owed her favors, and the money that came with the job was more than satisfactory. If Y/N had to guess, she was one of the richest people in the kingdom, considering how much people were willing to pay to fine “the one.” Her business had been rather successful since she’d gotten renowned in the inner ring of the city, and now, Y/N was considering expansion, to the Fire Nation. The borders had long since reopened, when the new Fire Lord came into power.

A whole new set of nobles for her to profit from. 

She’d decided to head to a high end tea shop in celebration of her choice to expand her business. Y/N had heard it was only for the best, since the tea shop served the best. One of her clients had insisted that someone of her esteem try the tea there, given that she was the best in her own profession.

So, here she was. It was a nice place, she wouldn’t deny, and Y/N had heard of the shop before. The Jasmine Dragon, run by some old guy who’d appeared in Ba Sing Se just before the war ended with some major talent when it came to brewing tea. The interior was fancy, but not excessive, several people were already seated within. Y/N even recognized one of the couples there, who waved at her enthusiastically, “hello! Lady L/N, how lovely to see you!” One of them called out.

Y/N smiled at them, “how are you two?”

The other beamed at her as she responded, “oh we’re just lovely! Preparing our wedding invitations and one of them has your name on it.” This wasn’t abnormal, most of the couples she’d brought together attributed their love to her. In actuality, Y/N found that if you found two people with compatible personalities, then they’d work things out on their own. All she did was introduce them. 

“I’m excited!” Y/N assured, moving past their table, “now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to try this famous tea. But, I’m looking forward to the invite.” 

The pair nodded, before returning their attention the friends seated across from them, and Y/N made her way to the front of the shop, bag of coins in hand. An older man stood behind the counter, a smile on his face as he brought his attention to her, “what can I get you today Miss...”

“Y/N. Y/N L/N.” She replied, small smile on her face as she looked at the menu, “what’s your name?” Y/N asked, meeting his eyes to see the flicker of recognition within them before returning her gaze to the menu.

He nods slowly, “I’m Iroh, and you’re a matchmaker, no?” He’d recognized the name, her business had begun gaining traction amongst the nobility of the Earth Kingdom shortly after the war, and she was one of the most sought after matchmakers in the nation. Iroh himself had looked into her business, seeing as his nephew was yet to find love in his chaotic lifetstyle. 

Y/N smiled at him as she nodded, “indeed.” She placed the menu down, “any suggestions?”

“Perhaps, Jasmine tea?” He suggested.

Y/N nodded, “sounds good.” She places extends a hand with coins, dropping them into his palm, “so are you looking for love?” Though she was certainly famous for her skills, Y/N tended to work behind the scenes, and she was surprised to find this man recognized her.

A small laughed escaped him at her words as he shook his head, “no. I believe it is a little too late for that.” He was working on her tea beyond the counter, and Y/N began to wonder how he was steaming the tea pot when she noticed there was no stove beside him.

“Don’t say that! You seem like a fine man that anyone woman would want.” Y/N assured, though she now wondered why exactly this man knew who she was in the first place. It was rare for those outside of nobility to know who she was.

Turning around, his hand pressed to the pot that Y/N was positive had to have been burning his hand in some way, “oh, you’re too kind.” He replies, a small smile on his face as he poured a bit into a cup, “I was looking to help my nephew find love actually.” 

“Really, now?” Firebending, that was the only explanation for the way this man was handling the tea. “I was looking to expand my business to the Fire Nation, perhaps I could help him out.” He didn’t hold himself the way most Earth Kingdom citizens did, and coupled with the possible Firebending, he was likely from the Fire Nation.

Iroh raises a brow at this, “what gave me away?” He stirs the tea a few times, before placing it on the counter for her to take. 

Y/N shrugs, “it’s my job to know people well enough that I can find them a match.” Taking a sip of her tea, she smiles, “so this nephew of yours. He wouldn’t happen to nobility, would he?”

He laughs at this, pouring himself a cup of tea as well as he sighs, “actually, he is nobility. In a way.”

Now Y/N did not expect the nobility Iroh spoke of the be the nobility. As in the Fire Lord, the actual ruler of the entire nation, though this would certainly be great for business. Once the world hears of how Y/N found the Fire Lord, someone who had been notably difficult to woo apparently, a match, her business will be set. 

“Isn’t this exciting, guys?” Y/N exclaimed, looking to her assistants, they were both on the younger side, Marcella and Evelyn. She’d brought them along since this would definitely be a valuable learning experience, and Y/N figured she’d need a lot of help if the Fire Lord was as difficult as they made him out to be. That and Y/N didn’t want to leave them alone in the Earth Kingdom, both of them had been orphaned at a young age. Y/N couldn’t help but relate to them, so when she’d come upon her newfound wealth, brought about by her job as a matchmaker, she’d taken the pair under her wing. 

With a bag thrown over her shoulder, Evelyn simply nodded while Marcella exclaimed, “yes! I’ve always wanted to see the Fire Nation. Do you think we could find a client in one of the Water Tribes next?” 

Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the young girl’s excitement, “if this goes well? We’ll be able to find clients anywhere.” She wasn’t wrong, Y/N had never had the opportunity to work with the actual Earth King, the true ruler of the nation. Now she was working with the ruler of a nation she’d never stepped foot in, entirely new customs and traditions to research, a new social structure, new everything.

What a fun challenge.

With a smile on her face, Y/N followed closely behind Iroh, the palace was stunning, she couldn’t deny it. And compared to the crumbling infrastructure of the lower rings of cities like Ba Sing Se, Fire Nation cities were prospering Fire Lord Zuko’s rule. From what she’d heard, things weren’t always this way.

“Y/N and I are going to wait here,” he gestured to the open space before them, dozens of paintings within it, “these two will take you to your rooms.” He explained to the pair of young girls, nodding to the servants beside them, who began to guide the young girls away.

Y/N’s eyes found their way to the paintings, the newest one being of the current Fire Lord, Zuko himself. She wondered how accurate the painting was, and seeing as she would be meeting him soon, Y/N figured she’d find out as she sighed, turning to Iroh,��“so how does the original heir to the throne become the owner of an infamous tea shop?” 

Iroh smiles to himself at her words, “age brings wisdom. And tea is a nice substitute for alcohol.” He jokes, though Y/N can see the pain in his eyes, along with admiration as he stares at Zuko’s portrait alongside her.

“Uncle!” A voice exclaimed, joy clear in his voice as he called out. Y/N watched as Iroh spun around, a broad smile on his face as he moved forwards to embrace the person.

He looked better in person, Y/N quickly decided, though the portrait did its job just as well. She wouldn’t deny he was attractive, but she already knew looks weren’t the issue. Iroh had informed her of the situation, Zuko’s constant rejection of any and every single person that approached him, and the stress he experienced because of the politics of it all.

“Nephew, it is good to see you,” Iroh said, releasing him from the hug, “how are you?” Initially he seemed fairly comfortable at the sight of just his Uncle, but as the Fire Lord’s body seemed to stiffen, Y/N realized she’d been spotted.

So, he wasn’t comfortable with strangers, “I’m alright Uncle... who is this?” He asked. There was an edge to his voice as he spoke, sizing Y/N up, not in the way you did for someone you were attracted to, but for an enemy.

Uncomfortable with new people, clear trust issues, and his mind was always alert. She’d have to write these things down and take them into consideration prior to finding him a potential partner. Though it was starting to look like he was completely unaware of her purpose there as she extended her hand out to him, “Y/N L/N. Professional matchmaker.” She explained with a bright smile, though, based off his personality, that would likely ward him off more.

He was polite though, shaking her hand despite his clear suspicions of her, “Zuko.” Y/N couldn’t help but raise a brow at this, he hadn’t mentioned his title in his introduction. Zuko turned to his Uncle, brows furrowing as he said, “you hired a professional matchmaker?”

With a shrug Iroh responded, “we met by chance! So, it must be destiny.”

Zuko gives him a tight lipped smile, nodding slowly before returning his attention to Y/N who stood away from the pair, examining the decor of the palace. It was minimalistic, truly basic if she was honest, despite the clear amount of riches they possessed, it lacked evidence of them. Bringing her eyes back to him, he spoke, “you don’t need to be here. You can receive your pay, but I personally see no purpose for a matchmaker.”

Iroh frowned at his words, “Zuko, you need to give it a chance! Unlike all those ladies who keep throwing themselves at you. Besides, she seems rather good at her job.” His gaze was on his nephew as he sighed, giving Y/N an apologetic look that she simply waved off.

“Oh, it’s fine. It just won’t be for long.” Zuko raised a brow at her words, and Y/N watched his feet shifted, “no need to prepare for a fight, your majesty.” She hummed, rolling her neck, in the corner of her eye she could see shock flash in his own. “You see, as a matchmaker I do several things, including developing a little... profile of my clients. Now we just met but I can already tell you a variety of things about you that’s making your love life rather trivial.” Even before she had to develop the profiles professionally, in the lower rings of Ba Sing Se, being capable of reading others was a necessary skill.

Zuko’s eyes narrowed at her, “and what have you determined, in the very short time we’ve known each other.”

A small laugh escaped her as she extended her arms and cracked her knuckles, “well. You have major trust issues, which is why you are desperately trying to keep me at arms length. That’s one reason why you have yet to find someone.” Turning her attention to the decor of the large room, Y/N closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “Given the lack of interior design, I would say you’re struggling with social aspects of your job, and you need a partner. One that I can help you find.” 

“See! I told you she’s good at what she does.” Iroh exclaimed, moving forward to clap a hand onto Y/N’s shoulder, much to Zuko’s dismay. 

Y/N gave the older man a small smile before looking back to Zuko, who eyed her wearily, “you keep avoiding the portrait of your father. But you can’t bring yourself to take it down.” She said, and Y/N could practically feel the tension building with each word. “He’s one of the reasons you’ve yet to find a lover-”

“Because he gave me the scar?” 

Y/N paused, brows furrowing at his words, her eyes found his, “I’m sorry, was that a joke?” She asked, and Iroh stared between the two, amused. “You’re actually rather attractive, which is why I know this is a personality thing. Probably tired of the whole fancy court thing they have going on here, which I’m going to need to research...” Y/N pursed her lips, failing to notice the clear shock on Zuko’s face at her comment, and red flushing his cheeks. Waving off her thoughts, she looked back to him, “anyways. My assistants should’ve already cleared out about an hour in your schedule each day for our sessions. I’m going to be asking you some very personal questions. So, be ready!” 

And with that, Y/N waved to the two, bowing rather questionably shortly after, before heading off in the direction she’d seen Marcella and Evelyn go in. Effectively leaving behind a baffled Zuko, and a rather satisfied Iroh, who began to laugh at Zuko’s reaction. “I really like her, quite the character she has.” 

“Yeah, quite the character.” He brought a hand to his temple, “is this really necessary, Uncle?” 

Iroh simply sighed, looking to his nephew, “whether you want to admit it or not, she was right. Ruling a nation is difficult, and ruling it alone is even harder.” A small huff of laughter escaped Iroh, “and she figured that out by your lack of interior design!” 

Exhaling deeply, Zuko reminded himself that this was all part of the job, the job that consumed his entire life. The life that this girl had analyzed in a matter of moments. 

Yeah, he wasn’t looking forward to their meetings.

Though his morals and his disagreement with practically selling your own child were a major factor in his lack of a love life. There was also the simple fact that there was no love in many of the interactions he had with potential suitors, much less genuine interest. They all wanted the power he could give them should they get married.

There was also the fact that Zuko had very little relationship experience, a fact he was trying to ignore. At the end of the day, he couldn’t bring himself to approach anyone, and if he did, he wouldn’t know what to do. Zuko also doubted that people would act... genuine around him, especially if they knew who he was. And all he really wanted was something real, considering his entire day was surrounded by fake smiles that belonged to both him and others.

It seemed that Y/N wasn’t prepared to ignore this piece of information though, since the following morning she’d seated him down and begun to speak of it, “so. You’ve been in two relationships.”

His brows furrowed, “one actually.” He and Mai had broken up about six months into his work as Fire Lord, “Mai.”

Raising a brow at him, she leaned back in the seat. Zuko couldn’t help but wonder how she managed to decorate the place in such a short period of time, as he could’ve sworn there hadn’t been a desk here the previous day. Then again, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d toured his own palace. “Well, I’ve heard rumors of you and a Southern Water Tribe member, but I’m not sure which one so I just-”

“Okay! That’s enough.” His cheeks were flushed red as he looked away.

Y/N grinned at him, leaning forwards, “then let’s discuss Mai. You two were pretty on and off, right?” 

Zuko grimaced at the thought, they were. He wouldn’t deny that he’d gone back to her a few times during his time as Fire Lord, “yeah.” 

Y/N began to write into her notebook, “tell me about her.”

“I don’t see why that’s important.” Came his response, looking at her quizzically as he frowned.

Tilting her head at him, Y/N gave Zuko a look, “come on. Let me do my job, I need to know about her to gauge what types of personalities you like while also determining why the two of you broke it off entirely.” She placed the book down, and Zuko could very clearly see the words ‘commitment issues’ underlined. “The goal isn’t just to find you a suitable wife that can help you rule, but someone you can be happy with.”

He’s silent for a moment, eyes on Y/N, her words seem honest. And this was her job, “she was blunt. Honest. Kind of mean at times, but she could be sweet as well. Pretty stoic, expressing her emotions was always... difficult for her.” 

Y/N nodded slowly, scribbling a few more things down, “okay. And what’s your favorite color?” 

“What type of question is that?” Zuko asked, brows furrowing in confusion. 

Crossing her arms, Y/N shrugged, “well. Favorite colors can tell you a lot about a person.” Came her response, “mine is green. Maybe that’s because I associate green with the Earth Kingdom, where I lived. Or maybe it’s because I happen to like nature quite a bit.” Looking around, Zuko could see that she’d already gotten a variety of plants native to the Fire Nation, most were succulents due to the almost year round heat.

At the mention of colors, his mind immediately went back to his first experience with the dragons, when their fire encircled him and Aang. “I.. don’t know how to describe the color- colors?” Zuko’s brows drew together in thought, and Y/N looked at him.

“How would I not understand a color?” The confusion is clear in her voice as she looks at him. Y/N can practically see the nostalgia in his eyes as he looks to the balcony.

Sighing, Zuko shifted in his seat, “these dragons I met ended up making a circle of fire around me and there were just... so many colors. But together it was just,” he paused, searching for the right word, “beautiful.”

Y/N’s mouth gaped open for a moment, “you met dragons?” She exclaimed, nearly throwing her notebook aside. Y/N had never seen such creatures, in fact, the general consensus was that they were still extinct

Zuko seemed to forget about this fact as he straightened himself, eyes meeting hers, “you can’t tell anyone about them!” He exclaimed, “they were hunted to extinction, though I intend to outlaw such things it’s just...” 

She nodded in understanding, “people break laws.” Y/N leaned back into her seat once more, “you owe me a dragon story.” She said, before crossing her legs in her seat and continuing, “favorite food?”

“Well, Aang took me to Avatar Day, and they had these weird Avatar shaped dough things.” He explained, recalling the time he’d gone with Aang and the others. Apparently they used to burn his statue, but now they worship him for some reason.

Y/N brought a hand under her chin, “I have no idea what that is.” She began to scribble something down on her notepad, “but okay.”

“What about you?”

Y/N hummed in response, “what do you mean?” 

Zuko felt his cheeks warm, “this just feels like an interview.”

“Probably because it is an interview.” Y/N said, gesturing for him to elaborate.

Looking away, Zuko frowned, “it’s weird.” Sighing, he spoke once more, “so, what’s your favorite food?” 

Y/N was silent for a moment, staring at Zuko, who was trying his hardest to avoid her gaze. This was a rare occurrence, seeing as most nobles were rather self-centered and liked talking about themselves. She’d never had a client who felt uncomfortable with this portion because it was basically a one-sided conversation. “Jennamite is a good rock candy.”

Zuko turns back to her, a small laugh escaping him, “my friends were nearly killed in Jennamite by the King of Omashu once.” 

“I’m sorry, what?”

ATTEMPT ONE

Y/N wouldn’t deny how odd it was, to be sharing as much information as she was learning about Zuko. She’d never really considered just how personal some of the questions were until she found herself answering them. But, after about a month, she had assembled a pretty good array of potential suitors for Zuko. Along with a few of her own clients, Y/N had found some girls that from the Fire Nation that seemed pretty acceptable.

That’s what she had thought at least.

“What do you mean, you already rejected her?” 

Turns out, Zuko had met half the women, and rejected them. The other half were either from the Earth Kingdom, or yet to attend one of few Galas that Zuko hosted. Seeing as he handed off most of that work to his advisors, it was rare for him to remain at Galas for an extended period of time. 

He grimaced at Y/N’s words nonetheless, his Uncle had informed her of his situation, but clearly not the extent of it. “She was more interested in her guard than me. It was a power grab her parents likely forced her into.” He remembered the girl, she’d been kind to him, but she clearly didn’t want him as much as her parents did.

His words brought about a new level of understanding for Y/N, who nodded slowly, of course it was the parents that Zuko had a problem with. It wasn’t uncommon for nobles to practically throw their children at potential suitors as though they’re a bag of coins. It was something that disgusted her as well, her job found people companions that they liked while these people simply wished for an addition to their power.

Zuko was the ultimate power grab. Y/N could only imagine how many times this had happened to him, random people he’d never met approaching him, offering their child’s hand in marriage. 

Bringing a hand to her temple, Y/N sighed, “but the rest are fine?” 

He nodded slowly, flipping through the pages he had yet to remove, Zuko skimmed what Y/N had written. Taking note of her handwriting, he wondered if she’d written his profile like this. “Yeah...” Y/N narrowed her eyes at him, and Zuko sighed, removing a few more pages from the binder she’d presented him with. 

Exhaling deeply, Y/N brought a hand to Zuko’s shoulder, “be honest with me. I’m not gonna yell at you for removing them Zuko, this is for you.”

Sometimes he forgot it was her job to be nice to him. 

“Right.” He mumbled, trying to shake off the feeling he got as she removed her hand. ��That’s still... a lot of people. Some of which aren’t even in this nation.” Zuko pointed out, a queasy feeling within him as he looked at her.

Y/N plopped down onto the couch in the common room they’d met in, sprawling her body across it, “you’re right, there is a lot. But,” She twisted her body so that she could see him, wiggling her brows suggestively, “it’s been a while since you hosted a Gala.” 

Zuko’s face dropped at her words, in his years of being Fire Lord, he’d had about three total, and hated every single one. But given how rare the Galas were, people got pretty excited when he threw them. “I hate planning those, it’s a waste of time and-” 

A small smile was on her face as she interrupted him, “and you suck at planning them? I can tell by the decor of your palace.” Glaring at her, Zuko watched as she shifted so that her head hung off the couch upside down, “well. This will be the best Gala yet, you’ll impress all the ladies that you can’t meet in the immediate future in about...” Y/N looked to the watch on her wrist, brows furrowing, “eight months. And I’ll help you plan it, since you desperately need help-”

“Alright, I get it, I’m horrible.” He grumbled, crossing his arms as he leaned back against his seat across from her after placing the binder on the coffee table between them. “Eight months isn’t a lot of time,” traditionally, Gala’s took at least a year’s worth of planning and preparation, especially since Zuko was so busy he barely had the time to assist in the process. Eight months was no where near enough.

Y/N was still frowning at his words, “no self-deprecation.” She ordered, taking Zuko by surprise, before continuing, “regardless. I’ve planned Gala in less time with less resources. It’ll be fine.” Pursing her lips Y/N sighed, “now we need to discuss your inability to talk to people in general due to your immense trust issues and constant battle field mentality.” 

Zuko’s mouth gaped open at her words, “excuse me?”

Bringing her hands to rest on her stomach as she laid upside down, Y/N spoke, “when we first met you looked like you contemplated attacking me. And when you met Marcella and Evelyn, I’ve never seen someone so awkward.” Zuko is silent and looks away, only proving her point as Y/N continued, “so we need to practice your people skills, and flirting for future reference, seeing as your first date is in about a week-”

Almost immediately, Zuko straightened his posture, sitting up and looking to her as though she’d thrown a bucket of ice cold water onto him. “A week?” He winced at the way his voice cracked.

“Yeah, I spoke with one of the girls, not her parents, and asked her to meet with you later in the week.” Y/N explained, “her name is Elara, she’s in there.”

Frowning, Zuko reached for the binder and began to flip through the pages, “how’d you know I wasn’t going to get rid of her page?” Only to find the girl’s page, details on her personality, skills, hobbies and more on them.

A smirk spread across Y/N’s face, “she was one of few I was sure you’d keep.” With a sigh, Zuko looked back to Y/N, who still sat upside down, “now. You need to practice your romance skills, so come on.” She twisted her body, her legs falling to the side of the couch, and then moving onto the floor, Y/N stood. As the blood rushed to her head, a wave of dizziness came over her, and Y/N found herself stumbling slightly.

A hand came to her back and forearm, steadying her, “you need to practice walking.” Zuko laughed slightly, a nervous edge in his voice as he eyed her. 

Y/N brought a hand to her head as she laughed as well, “oh my...” Y/N blinked several times as the wave of dizziness passed, her hand gripping Zuko’s arm as she grounded herself. Looking up to him, she quickly realized how close they were and cleared her throat, releasing his arm.

He followed suit, removing his hands from her, “sorry-”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Zuko.” 

The look her gives her almost hurts. Because Y/N can see the shock within his eyes as he nods slowly in response. She wonders what he’s thinking of as he she gives him a tight lipped smile, clapping her hands together as she turns back to him, “practice.” She repeated, mostly for herself.

And maybe offering to be the person he practiced on was her first mistake. 

ATTEMPT FIVE

Y/N had learnt a lot about Zuko in the past four dates he’d been on. One of these things being the fact that Zuko was a wild card when it came to dates, and they seemed to either go very well with the girls contacting Y/N to let her know they wished for a second date, only for Zuko to reject the possibility. Or, they went very bad. And Zuko returned with some sort of drink splattered onto his clothing.

So, Y/N decided that the best course of action was to discover what exactly Zuko wasn’t mentioning, and to follow him with a disguise. Evelyn had suggested it, Iroh supported the idea full-heartedly, though Marcella had believed it would be a huge invasion of privacy, Y/N didn’t really care, seeing as it was her job to be involved in Zuko’s love life. She was getting paid to ensure he found love. 

And she was curious.

That’s how Y/N ended up dressed in some very suspicious Fire Nation clothing alongside her assistants and the apparent Dragon of the West, famous tea shop owner, and member of the royal family. 

What a wonderful assortment of people.

Marcella and Evelyn had separated from Iroh and Y/N, sitting in another booth across from them, it was a feeble attempt to keep them from sticking out. The girl had chosen a rather upscale restaurant, so dressing appropriately while also maintaining a look that prevented Zuko from recognizing them. 

Y/N pulled her hat further down on her face as she looked to Iroh, who was browsing the menu. She wouldn’t be shocked if he entered the kitchen just to make himself a ‘decent’ cup of tea. He’d been rather helpful during the whole process, anything she didn’t find out from Zuko, Y/N had learnt from Iroh. “See anything you like, Iroh?”

He smiled at her, nodding slowly, “I think I’ll just take some tea.” 

Looking to Marcella and Evelyn, Y/N smiles, the two are speaking with one another like they aren’t supposed to be spying on the Fire Lord. But Y/N doesn’t mind, this was more of a recreational activity anyways, and she was glad they were having fun. Since they’d gotten to the Fire Nation two months ago there had been an... adjustment period to put it simply.

Y/N nodded at Iroh’s statement, and her eyes fell back onto Zuko and his newest date, Amaya, she was a simple girl. She’d possessed organizational skills that Zuko lacked, planned dozens of events, had the expressive qualities that Zuko yearned for in a partner. Amaya was one of few that Y/N was sure Zuko would take a liking to. Especially since she also had training in a variety of fighting styles, and was quite the Firebender. She’d been a little skeptical when she first contacted Amaya, the girl seemed hesitant, but she agreed.

And from the looks of it, he had. The pair was laughing along with each other, but Y/N could see the way Zuko stiffened at any physical contact, in general he’d yet to relax. If Y/N was honest, it was basically like any first date, awkward.

Zuko didn’t really know how to feel about Amaya, she was what he should be looking for in a girl, everything he needed if he was honest. She had an interest in the art, something Zuko had never taken to and the main reason his palace looked, ‘dull’ as Y/N had put it. And she was expressive, the main issue he’d had with Mai was her lack of expression. But, for some reason, Zuko just couldn’t see her as anything more than a good friend. There was something... off about her.

“When that Earth Kingdom girl approached me, I was skeptical.” Amaya explained, taking a sip from her glass, “you know how most Earth Kingdom folk are...” She gave him a look as Zuko listened in confusion. “The Fire Nation citizens simply have more class.” Amaya settled for with a shrug.

Oh.

Zuko laughed nervously, “I’m not sure I understand. I find Earth Kingdom citizens pretty pleasant actually, and Y/N, the one you met, she’s actually very resourceful and kind.” His mind went to Toph as well, who had invented an entirely new type of bending. She was an impressive young woman from the Earth Kingdom, and Y/N was as well, she’d started her own business at a young age and turned it into something incredible.

“Really? She didn’t seem too smart when I met her, but who can say no to a meeting with the Fire Lord?” 

Zuko was pretty sure her words were meant to be taken as a joke. But Amaya wasn’t the first person Zuko had encountered with this mindset, she was just more subtle about it. The supremacy of the Fire Nation was still an idea that ran rampant in some people’s minds, though Zuko had dealt with most disputes regarding his peaceful relations with other nations. Many still missed the time when the Fire Nation practically owned the world, where Fire Nation citizens could treat the people who had their homes taken from them however they pleased.

It was a dark time in his nation’s history, nonetheless, several people missed it. This was something rather prevalent amongst Nobles though, they were the ones who lost an immense amount of land when the war had ended. Many of them were bitter about what had happened. 

If Zuko was honest, she’d probably had these ideas drilled into her since birth, and simply hadn’t grown out of them, which was a shame. But as the ruler of a nation, he couldn’t rule beside someone who looked down on others simply because they weren’t from the Fire Nation.

Zuko shook his head, “Y/N built her business from the ground up. And now she’s helping the Fire Lord get dates.” He knows he sounds defensive, as though he’s prepared to fight her, something his Uncle would likely scold him for, but he doesn’t care at the moment.

“All she does is set you up with people.” 

Zuko’s brows furrowed at this comment, and he raised a hand to get the attention of the waiter, “excuse me, could I get the check please?” The young man nodded, heading off to get the check, and Amaya looked at him incredulously. 

Y/N had done far more than set him up with people, she’d helped him begin planning a Gala, she’d tried her best to find a good assortment of people that would fit both Zuko’s needs and the Fire Nation’s, and that list was probably very difficult to narrow down. Zuko had seen the work she put in for formulating profiles of the potential suitors, and throughout all of it she had done nothing but support him. 

“What are you doing?” Amaya asked, shifting in her seat as she stared at Zuko quizzically.

The waiter came over and handed Zuko the check, and Zuko placed a pouch of money on the table, “thanks. Keep the change.” He explained, nodding to the boy, who’s mouth gaped open in surprise as he took the pouch of money, bowing to Zuko repetitively, though Zuko wasn’t paying much attention to him as he spoke to Amaya. “I don’t think this is going to work out, I’m sorry.”

Amaya is still seated in shock as Zuko rises from his table, and Y/N can’t help it when her mouth gapes open at the sight of him simply abandoning his date. She makes eye contact with Iroh, who raises a brow, and they both sit up. She moves to follow Zuko, only to bump into someone. 

“I’m so sorry!” Y/N exclaims, moving down to help them pick up their hat, that had fallen when they collided.

“No, that was my fault entirely!” He responds, shaking his head as they both leaned town to pick it up.

“Aang, come on! He’s leaving.” The woman behind him exclaims.

Y/N’s brows furrow in recognition as she looks up to see a blue arrow tattooed on the man’s head, and her eyes widen in realization. Zuko had described Aang several times during their conversations, he and the rest of his friends came up often. But Y/N did not expect the first time she met the Avatar and his friends to be when they were both following Zuko on his date.

ATTEMPT FOURTEEN

Y/N simply sighs as she opens her door to see Zuko, in the outfit she’d helped him pick out. “What was it this time?” He’d been on thirteen dates thus far, and Y/N was slowly realizing that Zuko was likely one of her most difficult clients. This was purely because he’d yet to get a second date, though there had been offers, Zuko had declined all of them. 

“She was just-” His hands gestured rather broadly, he was practically throwing them into the air, “she was so rude to the waiter.” This had always been a dealbreaker for him, since he’d worked as a waiter in two different tea shops, Zuko had come to understand the importance of treating a waiter with kindness and how difficult the work could be. 

His eyes dart between Y/N and her door, she’s rubbing her eyes due to the exhaustion and Zuko can’t help the guilt that floods him. Nonetheless, she opens the door wider, heading inside her room and signaling for him to close it as she falls back onto her bed. “You were a waiter once, yeah?” He’d told her a fair share about his life in the Earth Kingdom, she’d inquired quite a bit about that part of his life. 

He asked about her life in the Earth Kingdom too, and she’d told him how poor life could be the in the outer rings, something he’d experienced for himself. Zuko listened as she describe living after her parents had died, working for a matchmaker only to discover she was actually good at the job, making a name for herself in the outer rings and then making her way inwards until she was one of the most sought after matchmakers in the kingdom. Y/N spoke of how she’d met Marcella and Evelyn, and how she’d taken them in when she’d discovered they were both orphans, living on the streets as pickpockets.

Zuko wouldn’t help but laugh at this, he could imagine Evelyn as a pickpocket, but Marcella? She was a sweet girl, he couldn’t imagine her in a life of crime. Of course, desperation made people do questionable things. Zuko knew that much from experience. 

“Yeah, I was.” Came his response, taking a seat in the chair by her desk. 

Y/N sat up in her bed, bracing herself with her elbows as she raised a brow at him, “what are you doing?”

Zuko frowned, shifting in the chair, “sitting...?” He moved to get up but Y/N waved him off.

“Just lay with me, idiot.” She allowed her head to fall back onto the bed, patting the spot beside her. Clearly, her suggestion wasn’t bothering her, but Zuko felt his face flush at the possibility.

If he’s honest, he’s not even trying anymore when it comes to dates and women and love. There were three reasons for this, one of which was the fact that he simply wasn’t connecting with any of the women he had met thus far. Sure they were nice, and they probably would be his type has it not been for reason two. The fact that Zuko had realized he had feelings for Y/N, what feelings? He wasn’t sure, but they sure as hell weren’t platonic, if they were he would not be blushing this much. He wouldn’t get that weird feeling in his stomach whenever he spoke to her.

Then there was was reason three, if Zuko succeeded in finding love, then Y/N would leave. It was selfish, but he already knew he wouldn’t find anyone considering he pretty sure he loved someone else already. So now, Zuko was basically procrastinating letting Y/N know that this just wasn’t going to work out, mostly because he didn’t have a plan.

He was debating just firing her, but that likely wouldn’t go over well, and he wanted to see her business succeed. If you get fired by the Fire Lord, that just looks bad. Now Zuko wondered what the best way to go about this was, since there was no point in working for him, even if she was getting paid. He was a waste of time. 

He couldn’t help the smile graced his lips as his own thoughts reminded him of the time she’d scolded him, telling him to quit being self-deprecating. 

Zuko sat up from the chair, making his way over to her bed, Zuko found himself simply plopping down onto it face first, earning a laugh from Y/N.

He rolled over onto his back, turning to look at Y/N, only to find her eyes were already on him, bringing a blush to his cheeks as he mumbled, “what?”

“I’m just trying to figure out why you haven’t gotten a second date yet.” Came her response, propping herself up on her forearm. “You have a nice personality, you’re attractive, I’m sure at least one of the girls caught your eye.” Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair as she began to wonder if she’d incidentally allowed her own feelings to get in the way of her work. Maybe that’s why this was going so badly.

This was a problem. 

Zuko simply shook his head, his face on fire as he listened to her words, though he couldn’t help the hand he brought to the scar on his face. Y/N had pointed out before that he was allowing his Father to control his actions even now that he was imprisoned, and Zuko was beginning to see what she meant. 

Removing his hand from his face, Zuko sighed. Though he didn’t have much time to dwell on his thoughts as her hand hesitantly came to his face, placing a hand on his cheek and allowing her thumb to brush against the scar. Zuko jumped at the sudden contact, and Y/N moved to withdraw her hand almost instantly, but Zuko’s hand came to hers and held it there. Looking to her, he couldn’t read the look in her eyes as she gazed at him, and suddenly he wished he was as good at reading people as she was. 

“No self-deprecating thoughts.” Y/N mumbled, “bad Zuko.” She removed her hand from his to flick his head, causing his brows to furrow.

He pouted, and Y/N let out a laugh as he spoke, “how come you haven’t found someone?” Zuko looked to her, “you’re beautiful, and smart, and just... perfect.” He didn’t notice when her cheeks warmed, “you’re a literal matchmaker, surely you’ve considered who your perfect person is.” 

Y/N fell onto her back, running her hands over her face as she shook her head, “how have you not gotten a second date?” A sigh escaped her, “I haven’t had time for love before, and I just haven’t found that,” looking to him, she pursed her lips, “perfect person.” Growing up in the lower rings, she didn’t have time for an actual relationship, and her business as a matchmaker grew incredibly quickly. At the end of the day, long term just didn’t work out, Y/N barely had for herself, much less another person.

“I guess we both suck at love.” Zuko said, his tone was serious and Y/N couldn’t help but burst out into laughter as she swatted at his chest.

Too bad they couldn’t suck at love together. 

ATTEMPT SEVENTEEN THROUGH TWENTY EIGHT

Smoothing over her green dress, a sign of her citizenship in the Earth Kingdom, Y/N moved to answer the knock on her bedroom door. Given how long she’d been in the Fire Nation, Y/N wondered if the Earth Kingdom would still feel like home when she returned. The idea of going back felt odd, and though that time likely wasn’t soon unless Zuko met the love of his life tonight, it was inevitable.

And it horrified her. 

Holding the edge of the dress slightly to make it easier to walk, Y/N sighed and opened the door, seeing Zuko. A small smile on her face as she eyed his Fire Nation robes, “you look nice.” She complimented, tilting her head at him as she allowed her eyes to travel over his figure.

Zuko nodded, a blush coming over her cheeks, his mouth gaping open as he looked at Y/N. “You look beautiful.” She did, the dress looked amazing on her, her hair styled just right, and bracelets adorning her wrists.

“Thank you, Fire Lord Zuko.” His nose crinkled at the use of his title, coming from her it felt even weirder, wrong almost. But she continued, “mind helping me out?” She asked, moving back to her desk and taking a necklace in hand. Y/N had been struggling to put it on for the past few minutes, and now she had someone to do it for her.

He nodded, closing the door behind him, he took the necklace from her hand, and when Y/N ensured her hair was out of his way, Zuko brought the necklace around her neck. He secured the clasp, hands lingering as he adjusted it to the center of her neck. Zuko couldn’t help but notice a small scar on her shoulder, hand brushing over it.

Y/N looked over her shoulder and to him, brow raised, “how’d you get this?” He asked, brows drawn together. His hand traced the raised skin gently, Y/n could feel her cheeks warming at his touch, inhaling deeply. 

She grimaced, “a knife fight I almost lost my life to.” Was her explanation. Y/N didn’t like to think back to the days when she’d resorted to several... questionable actions to stay alive. But she pushed those thoughts away as she turned to face him. “You ready?” Y/N asked, they had to get to the Gala soon, considering the fact that Zuko was the host, Y/N was shocked he’d even stopped by her room in the first place.

Zuko was silent, simply nodding as he extended his arm for her to take. And Y/N did, looping her arm around his as she smiled, “you are gonna woo so many Earth Kingdom women tonight!” Y/N exclaimed, more confidence in her voice than Zuko had.

Shame the only Earth Kingdom girl he wanted to ‘woo’ was her.

When they’d arrived at the Gala, descending the stairs together, they were greeted with the claps of the other guests. Zuko would feel the anxiety flood him, but he paid it no mind. Though Y/N could feel the way he stiffened as he ended his speech to the diplomats of all nations, “let this be a peaceful, and joyous night!” 

They all burst out into cheers before the party continued, the music starting once more, and everyone returning to feasting upon the buffet, dancing along the ballroom floor or speaking with one another. All while Y/N led Zuko down the stairs, dragging him by the hand, “come on. Enjoy your own party, meet some girls.” She winked, and Zuko swore his face heated up even more than it already had. 

Y/N wasn’t a fool, she knew that if she’d stuck by his side the entire night, she would serve as a repellant of any potential suitors. So naturally, much to Zuko and Y/N’s dismay, she removed herself from him, playfully shoving him towards a group of Earth Kingdom girls she’d mentioned earlier. Though there were several other clusters in the ballroom.

Zuko simply sighed, giving Y/N a small smile before making his way to the group of girls. If he was honest, he would rather be spending the Gala by her side, but he had to put in some effort. He owed Y/N that much. Besides, this was an entirely new group of girls, maybe he would find someone tonight. 

“Hi there.” Zuko greeted, waving awkwardly at the girls. 

This action earned him a few laughs, and he was unsure if they actually found it funny or felt the need to laugh since he was the Fire Lord. Shortly after they began introducing themselves, speaking like there was no tomorrow. 

If Zuko was honest, the number of women here was overwhelming. So, as he excused himself from the conversation, much to their chagrin, he placed his cup down on the platter of one of many waiters. Making his way outside, Zuko couldn’t help but feel relieved at the fresh air that hit him on the balcony. Though he contemplated heading back inside when he noticed another girl was already there, eyes shut as she faced the sky, she turned to see him, eyes widening a fraction. “I’m sorry, I can go-”

“No!” She exclaimed, cheeks flushing in embarrassment due to her outburst, “no... it’s fine.” She turned back to look at the sky, hand clasped together, fidgeting.

Zuko stepped forward, finding himself situated across from her, leaning against the railing, “so why are you out here?”

A small laugh escaped the girl, and she ran a hand through her hair, “it’s rather stress relieving. You have a lovely view in your palace.” 

He couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he realized she recognized him, though Zuko nodded along, “what’s your name? If you don’t mind me asking?” It was a stupid question, and Zuko nearly facepalmed as he pursed his lips.

“Aileen.” Came her response, and Zuko realized he recognized her name as well. She was the child of one of the more well known members of Fire Nation nobility, her parents had approached him in the past in hopes of arranging a marriage between the two of them. He had declined almost immediately. And now that Aileen turned to him, he had a feeling he made the right decision, “you’re Zuko, right?” 

He exhaled deeply, nodding, “that’s me.” Sometimes, Zuko wondered what his life would’ve been like if he wasn’t Zuko, perhaps things would’ve been simpler. No, things definitely would’ve been simpler. There would be no diplomatic meetings, no wars, no idiots trying to hurt other people, no more assassination attempts, no more fake smiles and no more Galas. Of course, if he wasn’t Zuko, he never would’ve met Y/N.

“I heard you’re looking for a partner in crime.” Aileen prompted, “why aren’t you in there finding that future love of your life?” 

Shrugging, Zuko looked up at the sky, “I found her. She just doesn’t want me.”

He can feel Aileen stare at him, she’s silent for a moment, and Zuko wonders what she’s thinking. Though he doesn’t need to wait long to find out as she responds, “I understand.” Aileen focuses her gaze on the glass she’d placed on the thick railing of the balcony, “the person I love probably doesn’t love me back. And even if they did, my parents disapprove.”

“Did you ask?” He felt hypocritical, Zuko himself had never spoken with Y/N in regards to his feelings, and he likely never would, but he wanted to know. “If they love you?”

Aileen laughs slightly, shaking her head, “I couldn’t bring myself to. I’m scared.” She replied, looking back to him curiously, “did you?”

“No.” He responded lamely, tapping his fingers against the railing with a sigh.

Aileen laughed at this, “I guess we are both cowards then.” She pursed her lips, “I didn’t ask because I was scared, why didn’t you?”

And then the words come spilling out, “whoever I end up with will greatly impact the whole world, whether I want to acknowledge it or not. And she doesn’t deserve that burden, nobody does.” He laughs bitterly as he continues, “she’s also the person that was hired to help me find love in the first place.” Zuko pauses, looking away from Aileen, “and I guess I’m scared too.”

“Ironic.” Aileen mumbles, bringing her eyes back to the sky, “let’s make a deal, Your Majesty.” 

Zuko cringes at the use of that title, almost asking her to simply refer to him by his name, though he simply responds, “what deal?”

“We both confess. And if it goes horribly wrong, we can get married.” 

Y/N can’t see the shock on Zuko’s face, but she can see how comfortable he feels with this girl, Y/N hadn’t seen her before, but she was just happy Zuko was connecting with someone. Except she also wasn’t, a bitter feeling enveloping her as she turned away, looking for something else to focus her attention on, something that didn’t hurt. 

She turned to see Marcella and Evelyn in the distance, speaking with each other. Y/N supposed if she wouldn’t be finding love tonight, then at least they would. She was no fool, she saw the way they looked at each other, the glances when the other wasn’t looking. Maybe it was dumb, but Y/N found herself feeling jealous as she moved over to the buffet with a sigh. Food solved everything in her experience, after a client had a particularly bad day, food made things better.

“Perhaps some tea?” Iroh stood beside her, a kettle in his hand, he had insisted he serve tea at the Gala, though Zuko had assured him it would be just as easy to find someone else to do the job.

Y/N smiled at him, nodding as she took a cup from the array of them within the buffet, allowing Iroh to pour her some tea. “Thank you, Iroh.” Her voice is quieter than normal, and it’s clear that Iroh can tell something is wrong.

“You know, you deserve to be happy to Y/N.” His words catch her by surprise, though she doesn’t have much time to consider their meaning before flames lighting the room begin to move erratically, causing her brows to furrow.

Something was wrong. 

Iroh nods to her, placing the tea kettle down as his brow furrow and she nods back, Iroh disappearing into the crowd of people. Y/N’s eyes fall back to Marcella and Evelyn, and she quickly moves to their side of the room, ignoring the hush that had fallen over the room, panicked gasps amongst them. Her hands fall onto both girl’s arms as she nods to them, “Y/N, whats going-”

Y/N is already dragging them in the direction of the exit, “get out of here, find the guards. I’m going to find Zuko.” The girls didn’t have much time to argue, as Y/N was already working her way through the panicked crowd, back to the balcony where she’d last seen Zuko. But, people were already pushing against her movements, making it difficult. Raising her head above the crowd in an attempt to see what’s going on, Y/N realizes whats happening. 

Firebenders were trying to force them together, and Y/N couldn’t help but panic as she wondered if Marcella and Evelyn managed to escape and find the guards. 

This was an ambush.

No, this was an assassination attempt. Zuko already knew as he watched the atmosphere of the party begin to shift, that and the person who stood before him in all black, brandishing several weapons. Alongside four others who stood by her side. 

“You know, it wasn’t until I met you that I realized how bad it had gotten.” Aileen stood beside Zuko, eyes meeting his in horror as they exchanged looks. Zuko simply hoped the nod he gave her provided some semblance of comfort as he returned his attention to the person before him. “I mean, defending some lowly Earth Kingdom matchmaker? What type of career even is that?” 

Her voice is almost maniacal, and Zuko can’t help but wince as he feels reminded of his sister. But he recognizes it nonetheless, Amaya. It had been months since he’d seen her, but he could still remember her voice. Her face was covered by a mask, and she wielded a sword, and if Zuko remembered correctly, she had been trained in dozens of fighting styles and was a talented bender herself. Alongside the four other men, Zuko couldn’t help but panic internally as he spoke, “Amaya, why don’t you put the swords down, and we talk about this.”

She laughs in response, ripping the mask that covered her face off and throwing it aside, “people have tried to talk to you about this. Your-” She grappled for the word, a hand yanking at her hair as she gestured to him with a sword, “your radical ideas!” 

Zuko didn’t find having morals radical, but he wasn’t going to say that, not while Aileen’s life was on the line. Zuko suddenly realized why having an heir was important as he shook his head, “Amaya, look. Why don’t you let Aileen here leave, and then you and I can talk.” 

Aileen looks like she’s going to protest, but Amaya glances at her red robes, a sign of her Fire Nation citizenship, and gestures for her to leave. “Get out. My problem isn’t with you.” 

When Aileen doesn’t move, Amaya quickly grows frustrated, calling out to one of the guards she’d brought along that lied inside, “take this fool away.” 

There’s no response, and Zuko can see panic flood Amaya’s face. And looking behind her, he quickly realizes that most of the guards have been subdued, Y/N holding one of them in her arms as she knocks them to the ground. Moving towards the balcony stealthily as Amaya’s hands begin to shake, fire sparking in her palms as she focused her attention onto Zuko. “You’re going to pay for what you’ve done to our nation.” 

But Zuko wasn’t looking at her as he shook his head, hoping Y/N would understand. There was no way she could overpower Amaya, not with her bending. Y/N didn’t even have a weapon.

Now, Y/N knew for a fact that no matter how talented Zuko was, he wouldn’t put the girl beside him in danger. His priority would be keeping her alive, and given the training Amaya had as a noble, in both Firebending and fighting, she might even be as good as Zuko in a fight.

Meaning she had to be taken out of the fight.

Everything happened pretty fast after that. Zuko was shielding body coming forward to shield Aileens as he extended his freehand to Firebend at the people who’d surrounded them, only for Amaya to move out of the way. The girl was practically screaming bloody murder as she lunged at him, now wielding her sword. 

Zuko didn’t have to figure out what to do next because Y/N moved faster than Amaya did, tackling the girl over the railing and down below as he began to scream. 

THE FINAL ATTEMPT

Zuko’s knee is bouncing rapidly as he sits beside Iroh, who knits a scarf of some sort despite the blistering heat of the Fire Nation. He’s insisted that when Y/N returned to the Earth Kingdom she’d need it, and Zuko didn’t have the heart to disagree. Iroh had started stress-knitting about four hours ago, when Y/N had entered the room they all sat before, anxiously awaiting news of her condition.

Marcella and Evelyn are to Zuko’s left, Marcella’s sobs had quieted down, but Zuko wouldn’t be shocked if he looked over and saw tears silently streaming down her face. The girl hadn’t taken it well. Evelyn remained composed, doing her best to comfort Marcella, but the wait was clearly getting to her as well as she fidgeted with Marcella’s hands.

Seeing as Y/N had fallen from several stories up off the balcony and into the water below, Zuko didn’t really think it was possible to take the news well. But he was trying. 

A pang sounded from inside the room, and Zuko practically shot up onto his feet, moving to knock on the door to discover was was wrong, only for Iroh to grab his wrist, shaking his head. Zuko exhaled deeply, beginning to pace across the hall. He found himself wishing that Katara hadn’t been busy with Water Tribe business, she was an excellent healer. Alas, Katara wasn’t there, and Zuko had to settle for one of the skilled Water Tribe diplomats instead, alongside a few others skilled in medicine. 

As he paced, Zuko could feel Evelyn’s eyes on him, and it became clear she was itching to speak and he sighed, “what’s wrong?” There were dozens of answers to this question, the main one being the fact that Y/N could die today, so he hoped she understood what he meant.

The girl is glaring at him, and Zuko can’t help but feel uneasy. Because maybe she blames him for this as much as he blames himself, and maybe she’s going to tell him off, blame him for everything. Because if Y/N dies, she and Marcella will have no one again. 

Not that Zuko would allow that. He’d grown attached to the girls as well, they were kind, and helpful. They’d help improve the interior decor of the palace, and if he was honest, it looked better than anything he ever could’ve done.

“You better tell her how you feel after this.”

Zuko’s mouth gapes open at the girl’s words, and he swears the breath leaves his longs, and its as though everything hits him then. 

He would never get to tell Y/N how he felt if she died. He’d never get to listen to her try and tell a story just to go off on dozens of tangents, he’d never get to watch as she attempted to cook again, and he’d never get to hold her in his arms once more. There would be no more late night talks, and he wouldn’t hear her laugh, she wouldn’t tease him anymore and they wouldn’t walk through the courtyard feeding turtleducks again.

She’d never know he loved her.

Zuko finds himself nodding to Evelyn’s words, frozen in place as he looks to her and asks, “was I that obvious?” His voice is hoarse, and its probably because he didn’t stop screaming, even when Y/N’s body hit the water. 

Marcella is laughing at his words, blowing her nose into a tissue that Evelyn hands her before she speaks, “painfully obvious.”

“For someone who’s job revolves around love, Y/N is one of the most oblivious people I’ve ever met.” Evelyn grumbles out, rubbing her eyes as she yawns.

It was late, Zuko knew that much, the guests of the party had gone to the infirmary in the palace, being tended to by doctors and any other available healers if injured. Otherwise, they’d all returned to their rooms to sleep, or more likely stay up in fear of another attack. Zuko surely would.

“Go to bed guys, it’s getting late.” 

Evelyn looks at him like he’s one of the dumbest people she’s met, and if Zuko was honest, he probably was. But he simply nodded to Marcella, who had started leaning her head against Evelyn’s shoulder, eyes fluttering shut. “Uncle, why don’t you take them back to their rooms?”

Considering the fact that Zuko’s guards were around the corner, he wasn’t scared for his safety, but their presence just made him want to remain awake. 

“Nephew, you should sleep as well.” His Uncle replied, though he rose from his seat, bringing the yarn and the start of the scarf under his arm. 

Zuko gave his Uncle a smile, “I will. But if anything happens before then, I’ll be sure to alert you all.” He assured, nodding to Evelyn, who eyed him wearily. But she relented, shaking Marcella gently before standing up alongside her and Iroh. 

When they were out of sight, Zuko plopped back down in the seat, his elbows resting on his knees as he brought his hands to his face.

And for the first time in the night he cried, his body racked with sobs as tears streamed down his face and he struggled to breathe. The pain of all that had happened felt almost unbearable. She had to live. Y/N had to live. Because Zuko was going to confess. 

His fear of losing her outweighed his fear of rejection.

Wiping his tears away, Zuko suddenly felt grateful that Evelyn had left the box of tissues as he blew his nose. He sighed, his eyes piercing the door, hoping that something would happen.

As though his stare had willed her to exit the room, the healer came out, a grimace on her face as she looked to Zuko, likely because of his bloodshot eyes. The woman simply sighed, the grimace becoming a more sympathetic look. “Miss L/N lost a lot of blood... several of her bones were broken when she hit the water, especially her ribs. Her internal organs were damaged as well and... well it wasn’t very likely for her to survive.”

She’s dead.

Y/N is dead.

Oh.

“Wow, you look like a mess.” 

Zuko’s head whips up, his eyes meeting Y/N’s, she’s leaning against a wooden crutch, grinning lazily at him. The healer beside her looks rather apologetic as she frantically explains, “she woke up far quicker than we anticipated and only agreed to rest if we participated in her rather cruel prank.”

So, she wasn’t a ghost.

Zuko launches himself up from the chair, nearly tackling Y/N, but the wooden crutch she uses for support serves as a reminder of her fragile state as he asks, “can I hug you?”

Her smile falters at the sound of his voice, hoarse and jagged, so she simply extends are free arm outward. Zuko takes this as an invitation for a hug, gently wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his head in her neck, Y/N wrapped her free arm around his neck, hand finding its way to the hair at the nape of his neck. “Im s-”

“It’s not your fault Zuko. I swear if you say its your fault I will throw myself over the balcony again.” She threatened, hand tightening in his hair.

Zuko laughs quietly, inhaling deeply before he speaks again, “please never do that again.” 

“I make no promises.”

Sighing, Zuko releases her, “I hate you so much.” 

Y/N scoffed, “you love me.” She was limping over to the bed in the middle of the room, blood coating the surrounding area. Though the doctors in the room were moving across the room that they’d placed Y/N on, and dealt with her injuries on, Zuko couldn’t help but feel sick at the sight.

She could’ve died.

“Yeah, I do.”

Y/N pauses, turning to look back at him, her mouth gapes open. Zuko’s looking away, eyes on anything but her as he inhales deeply.

The healer simply sighs, “before we do this, I should inform the two of you that Miss Y/N cannot do any... strenuous activities for at least one month.”

Zuko’s cheeks are flushing red as he shakes his head rapidly, “ma’am-”

“We’ll be taking our leave. Have fun, but not too much fun. Please.” The woman closes the door behind her once the other doctors are out of the room, and Y/N can’t stop laughing at the mortified expression on Zuko’s face, despite the sharp pain she feels in her ribs.

Taking a seat on the fresh sheets of the bed, Y/N sighs, “so you love me?” She’s picking at the sheets, “as a friend?”

Zuko suddenly realizes just how right Evelyn was as he slowly shakes his head, “no. More than a friend. I think I inadvertently sabotaged half of the dates you sent me on because of it.”

Y/N laughs quietly, eyes falling on Zuko only to see he’s looking anywhere but her, she calls out to him quietly, “Zuko. Look at me.”

He doesn’t hesitate to bring his gaze to her, eyes meeting hers as he begins to fidget with his hand. Y/N simply reaches her hand out, and he takes it. “I love you too, idiot.” She mumbles, pulling him closer and wrapping her arms around his waist. “I just wish you had told me sooner so I didn’t waste so much time trying to set you up with other women.” 

A small laugh escapes him as he brings his hand to her hair, “how do I know you weren’t purposely giving me bad matches because you were in love with me?” 

Y/N removes her head from his stomach, looking up at him, her nose crinkles, “unlike you, I am a professional.” Zuko flicks her forehead, and Y/N pouts at him, hand coming up to his face, “can I kiss you?”

She can feel his face warm, but he nods rather enthusiastically nonetheless, and Y/N finds herself smiling at his as she uses her hands to pull his face downward towards her. His lips meet hers, and Zuko finds himself feeling complete, hands coming to Y/N’s face in an attempt to pull her closer while hers move to his ball up his robes that he’d yet to change.

 Zuko pulls away first, forehead resting on hers, “you need to sleep.” 

Y/N scoffed, eyes narrowing at him, “you need to sleep.” Looking to the bed, she raises a brow at him, “wanna lay with me?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, I could accidentally injure you or-”

Rolling her eyes, Y/N yanks him onto the bed, making her way to the other side and getting comfortable, “I’ll be fine.”

Yeah, everything would be fine. Maybe not for the Fire Nation, seeing as Y/N would potentially help rule a nation but...

Everything would be fine.

in·am·o·ra·ta/iˌnaməˈrädə/

noun

a woman with whom one is in love or has intimate relations.

A/N: i hope this was good enough!!! i tried!!! and idk how it ended up over 12k... that’s crazy man um kjhdsajfhjkah omg i really liked this concept though i hope i did it justice

TAGLISTS [lmk if you want to be added or removed via askbox or replies]

ATLA: @bubblebars​ @jada-cleo​ @Art-flirt @the-deli-meat​ @wemissyou3000​ @ajediherowitchrunner​

ZUKO: @outerxorbit @shawkneecaps @lil-lex1 @boxofteenageideas @izzieserra @eridanuswave @bigbuckyenergy @celamoon @savemesteeb @shephard17895 @ijustwannabecanadian @duh-dobrik @anime-simp @lammello  

[humanransome-note]

Like everyone else, I love and hate social media

On the one hand, it has connected me to people who share my interest.

On the other hand, it’s led to ppl over sharing, filming basically every second of every day, hoping to get smth out of it (usually money and fame) forcing themselves to make up a fake image of their day to day, planning out how what they’re going to do will affect their image, like a PR agent.

This has also led to a sense of entitlement to people’s (especially celebrities) private lives. Like, i get it, you’re a fan, you think they’re cool, you wanna know more about them. But there’s a difference between asking what their favorite book is, and asking questions about smth like their sexuality.

If sm random person on the street came up to you and said “are you bi?” Would you answer? No, probably not, cause that’s none of their business.

Makes me miss the early 2000’s fandom experience.

Fancam’s were called AMVs, fan content was done almost exclusively for fun (there’s nothing wrong with commission work, dgmw, but creating things because of money, and creating things because of passion are two different things) there was no expectation of a “hustle” or “grind”.

(Also the legality of commissioning fan work, [specifically fanfiction] is a very touchy thing, people who have been in fandom since the turn of the century, sm times still shudder at the name Anne Rice)

Also, this is the biggest one for me, ppl had boundaries. Given the opportunity to ask smth of their fave actor or writer or whatever, was a serious, respectful thing. And while the increased casualness isn’t necessarily bad, it’s certainly gone way to far.

What could have been an opportunity for famous ppl to seem less like almost god like figures in sm cases, instead sm how made them seem more(?) idol like. Held to an insane standard, if not viewed as being unable to do anything wrong.

If you can, find recording of smallerish Q+A panels from before about 2010 and see how many questions you can find about stuff like shipping, or even the actors personal lives.

You probably can’t, because fan stuff and speculation was left exclusively in fan spaces.

Yes actors, and any famous person really, are going to have a different relationship with shit like public image, that’s their entire carrier, but they are still people, and should be treated as such.

(Also, the invasive questions always seem to go to male actors more often than not, smth I noticed as I was tagging)

[darknessisafriend]

Commodus the whore of the Empress Part 3

I felt inspired to write part 3 thanks to a wonderful dream I had (which I described here with photo references) Part 1 and 2 here!

“I have organized a party tonight. To celebrate my arrival to power and the success of my rule.” You spoke as you worked; your eyes focused on your hand signing some papers the scribes handed you. You were devoted to your duty towards the Senate, but you hated paperwork, you much preferred concrete actions, just like your predecessor. Commodus had been standing by your side, his hands clasped in front of him, waiting to satisfy your every desire, making sure you stayed hydrated and didn’t forget to eat, and of course, quietly listening to you.

“The Empress deserves to celebrate her victory. In the corridors, the People speak very well of you.” He replied respectfully but with some kind of softness showing through his tone. You smiled at this revelation; you appreciated how devoted to you he was, how he listened in every corners to what the People talked about; despite everything he had proven himself to be one of your most loyal subjects.

“Oh, one more thing…you will assist to the celebration. I have personally selected the most beautiful slaves and servants to make the night even more enjoyable.” You smirked, you were looking forward to your first party as the Empress of the Roman Empire, and the former emperor now your whore by your side. “You should be flattered I chose you to be among them.” You added towards the young man; was it an attempt to flirt? neither of you knew why you had let this out. But then, you sighed as you felt tension in him, more like apprehension; you closed yourself again because of the semblance of affection you had let out “What is Commodus? Speak or leave but stop vexing me.” Your tone came out harsher than you meant it to be, but paperwork annoyed you to the highest point and sometimes you couldn’t help but remain on your guards. He slightly danced on his feet, unsure but not daring to disobey you.

“There will be people who will recognize me and it-it’s…I fear how they will treat me, Your Majesty.” He slightly stuttered, ashamed to be nervous in front of his Empress.

“Your presence is precisely because they will recognize you. We need to show them your new status, don’t we?” you hid a smirk, leaning back in your chair as you detailed his god-like face; you took a real pleasure in this decision “But don’t worry, I won’t tolerate them to disrespect me by mistreating, mocking or even touching my favorite whore.” You heard him sigh in relief, that was all he needed to hear, that he remained under your protection and at your service.

“I am grateful Empress; I do not deserve such kind treatment.” He still said, he could have expected to be humiliated and abused in public by the one who took his place but he was starting to know you and somehow he hardly believed you would hurt him, as long as he fucked you well at least….

“Did I tell you that you could give me your opinion on the way I treat you? Perhaps you would prefer to be beaten by the guards and badly fed? You have been a good and docile whore, and never disappointed me; quite the contrary. Hardly any man made me come like you do. So, you deserve to be rewarded. Don’t question my generosity again, Commodus.”

“Yes, Empress. Forgive me.” He apologized, you waved your hand dismissively, not holding it against him and then sighed annoyed by the work in front of you.

“How could you handle this much boring paperwork?” you finally asked, for once referring to his past position; you leaned forward on your desk, resting your elbows on it, looking at him expectantly and ready to listen to him.

“I agree it is not the most exciting thing to work on, but it is essential to the duty of Emperor… or Empress in your case.” He gave a small and barely hidden affectionate smile “I told myself I was enduring all of this for the People, my children. It might sound foolish, but this only thought made the task less boring.” He remembered, wondering what you would think about such answer. A pleased smile formed on your lips.

“I appreciate the advice Commodus. Now leave; I don’t require your services for the rest of the afternoon. You shall wear clothes made especially for tonight’s event.” You dismissed him casually; he bowed to you, and it always amazed you how it didn’t feel mechanic with him, like most people…it felt as if he really wanted to bow to you, show respect and love for his Empress. And that was how he felt, since he had become your slave, he had never been so well treated and cared for, he was happy to serve you, nothing to worry about but please you, and in one of the most exquisite way. And in return he had a beautiful Empress looking at him, sometimes even smiling or dropping hints of affection in her words…just for him.

The evening finally came and the time for the celebration as well. You were covered in compliments and other socialites talks. But of course, many talked about the fallen Emperor; you could hear the muffled laughs and excited hushed whispers of the guests, hoping to see your famous slave, the defeated Emperor Commodus. How humiliating they imagined it to be; and how far they were from the truth.

“If any of you dares to disrespect me by mocking the slaves I generously provide to entertain us tonight; you will be punished.” You warned the guests, keeping a charming smile. And all knew that it was even more dangerous when you did that, like the former Emperor. Your eyes scanned the room, making sure all had understood before gesturing to the guards to make the beautiful minions, concubines and others who were part of the harem of the former Emperor enter. Except that this time, he was one of them.

And you finally saw him enter the dining room, barely dressed; of course, he didn’t wear the famous golden laurel crown nor his rings…you wore them. You had him wear a gorgeous long necklace made of gold and red rubies which covered part of his sculpted chest, perfectly matching with the golden tone of his skin. The only piece of clothing he wore was a short tunic, only covering his hips and manhood; that was only a sight for you. But it wouldn’t be fun if there wasn’t a bit of edge and provocation in his outfit, no, his tunic barely covered his ass, the fabric almost transparent to let imagination run wild and it was for all to see, and what an incredibly nice view it was…Commodus may have the most skilled tongue in all Rome but he also had the most beautiful bottom of the Empire.

Of course, the moment he had entered the dining room, all eyes were on him, the guest blown away by the beauty of this beautiful slave, how lucky was the Empress to have him as her personal slave. You couldn’t help but grin at the effect he had on them; it was indeed an exceptional sight, the once much feared Emperor, barely clothed and ready to serve the new Empress.

You could feel anxiety radiate off him, he tried to avert his gaze and look at the ground as much as possible, but he couldn’t help but look for his master, his Empress…you; you found it truly adorable. As if he felt your eyes on him, he finally found you among the crowd, the both of you looked at each other for long seconds. Until you gestured for him to approach and he couldn’t have been happier, he felt protected by your side, and comfortable as if it was his natural place…maybe it was, he thought.

And you didn’t expect to enjoy his presence by your side so much, somehow you felt stronger, perhaps because it reminded you of your victory or perhaps because you trusted him, since that night where he suggested a better pillow for you and simply slept without any attempt for revenge.

“Commodus. I want you to look in front of you. You are serving the Empress and as such you can be proud of the privilege you are granted.” You instructed him; you didn’t care if it wasn’t following the custom. The young man instantly obeyed, his eyes scanning the room like he used to “They fear me and seeing you standing proud by my side, they will fear you too. Now…turn around, I want to make sure you are perfectly prepared.” You request, turning your head to detail him.

“I hope the empress will find me to her liking.” He spoke respectfully but with a discreet hopeful smile on his lips as he turned around, letting you detail his toned skin and muscles shinning at the light of the torches. And indeed, you found him very much to your liking…probably the greatest victory gift you could have ever received.

“I am pleased indeed. Now, parade for me, my whore. And serve them well.” You shamelessly looked at his ass as he walked away, taking a tray of cups of wine and serving the guests. Despite a situation prone to humiliation, he couldn’t help but feel pride as he felt your eyes fixated on him, he didn’t dare to think you would feel any affection for him and yet, there had to be something more than just being pleased with his servitude. He was probably the happiest servant, and under your protection he felt his usual defying attitude come back as he faced the guest, he was untouchable.

As the night started you went to sit and enjoy a few mundanities with chosen guests; actually you had invited only women at your table, the senators and other nobles were placed elsewhere; otherwise it wouldn’t be a fun night.

As you enjoyed the night, you noticed many of the guests had only eyes for your Commodus and that it wouldn’t take much longer for them to touch him, and you didn’t want that and even if he did his best to play his part, he couldn’t stop but throw looks at you, aching to be standing close to you. Having pity of your boy, with your fingers, you gestured for him to join you; he respectfully bowed his head as he came to stand by your side, your hand came up to caress his ass, doing it naturally like anyone would on their slave.

Then, you smiled mischievously as you took off your laurel crown, your fingers slowly brushing over the golden leaves; Commodus’ eyes were following your fingers, he was completely at your mercy.

“Kneel, slave.” You ordered him, not even looking at him and you could feel how he craved just for you to look at him. From the corner of your eyes you saw him execute himself, dutifully waiting for your next move. You played a bit more with the laurel crown before putting it on top of his head like he usually wore it.

“Aren’t you pretty with this crown…right little Caesar?” you teased him, the guests silently chuckling and Commodus blushing; there was a time where he would killed anyone who dared to treat him this way but not anymore, especially with you.

“I live to please my-…the Empress.” He replied realizing too late that he had made a mistake and in return he received a slap in the face from you; his face blushing even more as he looked at the ground; it was humiliating but it send butterflies down his belly ‘now wasn’t the time to get aroused’ he thought. Sometimes you tolerated it in private, but in public? No, you couldn’t show your weakness. Still, you couldn’t help but gently stroke his cheek afterwards, he leaned into your soothing palm.

“Next time, it will be spanking. Go get me a cup of the best wine we have.” You ordered him almost too softly…as for Commodus ‘spanking?’ Coming from you he would certainly enjoy it. He nodded before getting up, eager to please you again and hoping for your forgiveness.

“For you Empress, wine from Lutetia.” He bowed his head, presenting the cup to you which you took and tasted. A smirk escaped your lips, flavorful, strong, deep…a bit like him actually; of course, he knew the perfect wine for you.

“Your majesty, do you know that the People are still talking about Maximus the Spaniard? He is like a hero to them…” asked one of your guests, knowing well it would bother the fallen Emperor. You felt him tense, clenching his jaw but keeping his eyes on the ground, closely listening to the conversation; he wondered what you thought about Maximus, you were part of the uprising that lead to his fall, after all it wouldn’t be surprising if you were a fan of the gladiator.

“The People always need a hero, let them honor who they want. I have to admit I rather enjoyed his fights in the Coliseum. My predecessor was right, it was unlike anything seen before. I might even grant them a celebration in honor of his death…” You replied taking a sip of your wine; Commodus face was red with anger, how much he hated Maximus, and his death hadn’t changed anything.

As you continued to talk about Maximus, your hand gave a push to his lower back, making him understand that you wanted him to sit on your lap. To your greatest pleasure he didn’t hesitate. Of course, he was rather heavy, he was well built after all but you didn’t mind, to have this once powerful and strong man at your orders was truly exciting. Commodus enjoyed being at your mercy, he didn’t have to think, he simply had to obey your orders and satisfy all your needs and what better to do than please his Empress? And in return your cared for him and pampered him if he was a good boy…he would have never imagined, in his wildest dreams to be allowed to sleep by your side.

You loosely wrapped your arm around his hips, your hand resting on his thigh. You could feel goosebumps form on his skin under your touch. With your other hand, you took an olive, presenting it to his mouth, Commodus was a gourmand and you wanted him to enjoy the food tonight “Open your mouth.” You asked him; his eyes met yours, with you he was allowed such affront; and his eyes never left yours as he obeyed, letting you slowly slide the food between his lips, the tip of your fingers brushing against his tongue.

“Thank you, Empress.” He breathed; the words barely audible to anyone else but you. His eyes left yours to linger on your lips in a moment of wandering; until he realized what he was doing and averted his eyes, looking away. Of course, it didn’t escape you, but you let it go, it was flattering. You brought your mouth close to his ear.

“For once I will ask you to be quiet, Commodus.” You mysteriously asked him, he briefly looked at you confused, but slowly nodded.

It was when he felt your hand slide underneath his short tunic that he understood what you meant. The table hid what was going on, but his whole-body reaction, it will be hard to hide. He took a deep breath when your hand reached his manhood, lightly brushing over his soft pubic hair, then his inner thigh. He couldn’t help but slightly wiggle on your lap, hoping for more.

“I do remember Maximus, what a man of great entertainment he was. The way he provoked the Emperor, turned his back on him…what a wonderful sight.” You knew those words would pique Commodus, but what could he say or do when you pronounced those words and finally grabbed his member, slowly getting hard under your teasing. He pinched his lips together in anticipation.

“It is true that many ladies would have paid for a night with the Spaniard, but Lucilla kept him all for herself. How selfish!” Replied one of your guests, oh yes his sister was another sensitive subject for him. You slowly started to stroke him, your thumb brushing over the sensitive tip making him swallow back a moan.

“Maximus wasn’t too bad to look at, but I did enjoy his adversary just as much. Very nice fighting skills for an emperor…according to his reputation I never expected him to actually have the courage to fight a gladiator.” It was a backhanded compliment that made some guests laugh, but he took it as just a compliment and how good it was to be appreciated by his master.

“The dark brooding looks and icy eyes that didn’t hesitate to kill…rather exciting.” You tightened your grip on his throbbing cock, he squeezed his eyes shut, slightly arching his hips against your hand ‘more, please more!’

“A dangerous man is exciting not like our old senators of husbands!” replied one with a scoff

“And look at him now, he is a very good boy.” You purred increasing the pace ‘Oh yes, I’m a good Empress, only for you…’ a strangled moan escaped his mouth, with that pace, he was close, so close and it was so hard to keep silence.

“Be quiet, beautiful boy.” You whispered as you leant closer to his ear, he tried to nod but is whole body was in ecstasy, his breathing fast, just a bit more, that’s all he needed. Another moan escaped his lips a second time, a desperate whimper which made you stop; he didn’t play by the rules and was noisy.

“Is he alright?” one of the guests couldn’t help but ask. It is true that he might have looked in pain, maybe he was, but a pleasurable one, he was so close to climax, completely at your mercy.

“Are you?” you repeated, making him whimper in need, he hated this denial and yet it was extremely exciting.

“I-I am very much okay…my Lady. Thank you for asking.” He answered not meeting her eyes, his voice trembling with desire. You guests smiled, so that was the fallen emperor, not so threatening anymore, he could be used for anything.

“You surely have the most beautiful slave in the whole Empire, your majesty. I wish you would grant me a bit of time with him, but I would perfectly understand if you wanted to keep him all for yourself.” One dared to ask, that was a daring request and you didn’t especially appreciate it. Yet, you smirked amused by Commodus nervously and lightly wiggling on your lap, waiting for your decision.

“Wouldn’t that be amusing little Caesar?” you teased him, slowly caressing his muscular thigh, you won’t bring him satisfaction, not yet.

“I am only your slave, not theirs, Empress” You retained a chuckle, to them he sounded condescend but that’s exactly what you wanted to hear; you placed a feather-like kiss on his shoulder to reward him and he let out a shuddering breath in return.

“He is mine. Nobody touches him. I am generous enough to allow people to look at him in such a lustful way. Don’t dare to ask for the property of Empress again.” You replied firmly but keeping a sweet and dangerous smile. You felt Commodus sigh in relief, glad that you wanted him only for yourself, perhaps it meant you care about him more than you shown?

“Of course, my Lady. Forgive my bold request.” With a wave of your hand you dismissed the guests from your table, you had enough of them, and you were much more interested in Commodus.

“Kiss me, my whore.” You looked at Commodus in the eyes, and the blush that formed on his cheeks was a wonderful sight. He leaned towards your face, giving you a quick kiss on the lips, he was careful, not knowing what you expected and aware of many guests witnessing the scene. You chuckled at the kiss, he felt like a shy young man kissing for the first time; you seized his chin, making him look at you in the eyes.

“Kiss me like you mean it. Use that gorgeous tongue of yours” You ordered him a second time…the glow in his eyes changed, something darker, animal; one of those looks he sometimes gave you when you had sex and you loved feral Commodus, always the best. His eyes lingered on your lips before he leaned closer again, slowly placing his lips on yours but the pressure against your mouth was very real. Soon, you felt something wet, his tongue caressing your lips, and how could you resist to such request? You opened your mouth, letting him in, tasting, feeling his tongue against yours; the kiss wasn’t all sweet, no, it was full of desire, fierce and filled with…affection; you couldn’t say how exactly you could tell but you felt it and it sent butterflies down your belly. You didn’t want this to end but you couldn’t show to the senators and guest that you were having growing feelings for the fallen Emperor.

“Go to my chambers, strip down and wait for me…my lo-…Commodus.” You whispered affectionately against his lips; your face going back to an indifferent mask, hiding the feelings that had started to grow for him for the past days. He blinked a few times and hid a soft smile, but his eyes couldn’t hide his happiness for your words.

“I shall be waiting and ready to serve you, Empress.” He answered on the softest tone, leaving your lap to head to your chambers that it seemed we would share with you permanently from now on.

Commodus harem:

@lyoongx​ @weirdflecksbutok​ @skaravile​ @niniitah-ah @stardancerluv​ @sgtsavoytruffle​ @charlie-sisters​ @ohcarlesmycarles​ @rajacero @hopelessdisasterr @stellargirlie​ @rosebloodstuffandthangss​ @clowndaddyfleck​ @jaylovesbats @dreamingmaria​ @sagyunaro​ @just-a-fucking-comedy​ @spaceinvader​ @radio-hoo-ha​ @lady-carnivals-stuff​ @sierraclegane​​ @legojorny​ @lemondedeniname​​ @hvproductions​​ @syvellsworld​​ @papercut-paranoia​​ @jokerflecker​​ @beautifulyoungprospect​​ @bring-your-holy-water @winterjasmine007​ @reginasansrex​

[danieco]

check in tag ✅ (Thank you, @chaosmax!!)

1. why did you choose your url?

It’s a partial mashup of two of my names that sounds a bit like a company: “Danie Co.” It’s my Brand™ (facetious) 

2. any side blogs? if you have them name them and why you have them?

Yes, an RP blog @dubmiho and @daniecho, a catch-all for non-YGO reblogs and occasional silly text posts about my life

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

Hard to say, I’ve used Tumblr on and off for years just as a way to collect posts that I liked. I started actually participating in fandom (making and reblogging posts) last December, so like seven months?

4. do you have a queue tag?

Yes, “queue-gi-oh”

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Surface level answer: I got back into YGO somehow, was having a LOT of thoughts and needed somewhere to put them. Realer answer: I think the timing with the pandemmy isn’t coincidental. The Atlantic ran an article months ago about how people were mourning the loss of relationships they didn’t realize they had, the outer circle of acquaintances that populated their lives and they saw regularly but didn’t really know. Tumblr I think kind of fills that niche with convos in the tags, etc.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I honestly don’t know, it’s not even my favorite color. I guess it felt like a quick, neutral thing? Also with the first header I had (a manga panel of Jou going “Hmmmm”), in dashboard view it kind of looked like he was blowing bubblegum and getting concerned he let the bubble get too big. 

7. why did you choose your header?

My header will probably always be some manga panel of Jounouchi, haha. He’s the boy! I was actually a Kaiba stan for like, my first decade of liking YGO. No clue how Jou totally took over this go around, but I’m having a blast. 

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

Definitely a Kaiba joke I tossed off and almost didn’t post because I thought it was “too Tumblr”. Someone I used to follow for feminist film criticism (who I never would have guessed even knew what YGO was) reblogged it at one point, and seeing it on my dash from her was the most bizarre experience I’ve had on here for sure. 

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I honestly don’t know, but this question stresses me out because I recently unfollowed a lot of blogs so I’d spend less time on here and I know some were mutuals. I know the cool kids are always reblogging the “I don’t care how many followers I have/who unfollows me” posts but I still feel bad doing it. :( It feels like not waving anymore to someone you regularly pass in the hallway at work. Minor, but still a bummer. 

10. how many followers do you have?

200, it’s baby blog hours over here always

11. how many people do you follow?

Around 50

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

I’ve made a lot of dumb jokes (affectionate) but I’m not sure any qualify as an actual shitpost. People may think of my super spy Tristan post but I was being entirely sincere!! Sincere, thank you!

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

God, I don’t even want to think about it. I love you but I hate you, my little dopamine-boosting trap. (This is why I try to follow as few people as possible, so I run out of posts on my dash more quickly.)

14. did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? who won?

No, but I’m pretty quick to just mute blogs by blacklisting their names if I see them being rude to someone or if their posts don’t Spark Joy for me.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

Opposed; I understand that’s coming out of a passionate desire to help but frankly (time for a HOT TAKE) I think a majority of the Tumblr activism I see is underinformed and/or ineffectual anyway. 

16. do you like tag games?

Yes!! It’s fun to get to know people

17. do you like ask games?

Yes again!! Same reason. Give me all your opinions. I want to know. Tumblr is like a fin-de-siecle Parisian salon except all our opinions on life, love, art and politics are filtered through a YGO lens (i.e., incredible and inherently entertaining)

18. which of your tumblr mutuals do you think is famous?

This question made me feel old because I immediately thought “What, a secret celebrity is incognito on YGO Tumblr?” But this probably means like, who has the most followers. I know of at least one with a solid following but YGO is such a small fandom it’s hard to feel like anyone’s really “famous”

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

Maybe a LITTLE and it’s extra silly because a) we hardly talk and b) she might be straight I don’t actually know HAHA it is mostly just for cute fun. I can have a little pandemmy parasocial summer crush, as a treat

20. tags?

I’d love to see anyone do it! Tag me back if you do, I’d love to see them (seriously!! say hello!)

[ink-beneath-her-fingernails]

BNHA/MHA First Watch-Through Notes

1x01

these are... stupid... and... a mess. bc I am stupid and a mess. you have had your warning. I didn’t even go back and skim through this when I was done I’m just releasing these little bastard thoughts into the void they’re not my problem now

I’m watching dubbed btw

I know, I know... it’s the only one I have access to rn tho

I... do not know how to feel about funimation’s new intro?

well I guess it’s not really new but

listen I haven’t watched anything of funimation’s since the og fruits basket ok I’m used to the DUN-DUN *funimation* ((....you should be watching))

he is. babie. green babie.

but also why do these small children have such wild hair colors

I mean I’m here for it

I just wasn’t expecting it

oH SHIT THEY GOT POWERS POWERS

so this is the famous deku

I’m guessing this is like a flashback or memory or something?

I missed the bully’s name

speaking of the bullies, they changed order? It was wings, fire, stretchy hands, but now it’s fire, stretchy hands, wings. I know that they probably wanted to show the “leader” closest and that’s why but,,

also wtf?? these are kids. like bullies should not be a thing, I think we can all agree on that, but yeah, it’s gonna happen. but these kids are, what? eight? nine? maybe their powers (’quirks,’ whatever) aren’t super powerful yet, but this blonde kid has fire powers. has nobody talked to them about just how dangerous this is? forget roughing the other two up or intimidating them or giving them a hard time, this could genuinely escalate and get way out of hand super fast, and someone could get seriously injured.

oof. boy is dead.

this eight year old (purple hair) sounds like he’s a thirty yo new teacher trying to sound hip and cool but also wise and knowing to his class who Does Not Care

OH

that wasn’t purple kid?? that was current deku???

wack

then this fourteen year old sounds like he’s a thirty yo new teacher trying to sound hip and cool but also wise and knowing to his class who Does Not Care

also they were four?

jeepers heckin criminey who starts beating people up at four years old

have to say though, I loved that sky-to-puddle transition

jiminey fucking crickets I’m not even a minute into the episode these notes are going to be stupidly long I’m sorry

!! I love his little skipping-dance thing when he’s impatient at the crosswalk!

alright... I’ll admit it... his character design is pretty adorable

also tf is that thing

it looks half shark half poorly drawn dog

I mean I get it’s probably a person and that’s their quirk or whatever but

did this kid just run all the way across the city just to watch this guy start shit at the station so he could see the heroes take him down??

I mean respect tbh but also priorities kid

also I really appreciate that the cops are just kind of calmly directing everyone and everyone else is just kind of chillin like “oh. another villain. that’s too bad.” like tbh that’s one of the things that always kind of annoys me about movies and shows like this where there’s like repeatedly villain attacks because yes they are scary, especially when you’re caught up in them, but if you’re just kind of there and not directly in the action or being directly threatened, then why are you freaking out? you’ve lived in this city for how long? there’s an attack every, what, two days? this isn’t routine for you by now?

I started this like 15 min ago and am only like a minute and a half into the ep smh

ngl this intro kinda pops off

that hero guy seemed... kind of evil lookin tho

love the animation oml

also the lyrics to this are great???

OH IS THAT A NARRATIVE FOIL I SEE IMPLIED THERE

I THINK IT IS

“and they were narrative foils” “oh my god they were narrative foils”

k ngl rewinding real quick bc I missed some of the intro and there’s always so much fun stuff to see and unpack in those

also I wanna read all the lyrics

k so I was wondering this before but I’m just gonna say it... why does the hero guy have rabbit ears

alright character designs lookin p fire so far

last guy I keep missing but he kind of looks like steven universe?? idk I still have to watch that show too tbh so,,,

does the big hero guy turn into a giant bird?

oh that intro got me excited for this

these characters look so lit!!

“the first incident?” so this isn’t just like a natural factor of their world? it hasn’t always been going on? there was, like, a definitive start to it all? was that kid really the first incident or the first one they noticed? was that actually the first incident or is it just like the commonly told first incident, like an old myth/legend/folktale/old wive’s tale?

interesting that it started with a baby and then moved to people of all ages?

oh they don’t know the cause of the quirks? interesting

((why do I feel like finding out the answer to that is gonna be like A Big Thing™ at some point in the series))

I really like the visuals they put with this exposition?? idk why it’s just,,, very appealing

also his voice is very nice to listen to tbh, so that’s a definite plus

I hate it when the main character’s voice is super annoying

but like how long ago was it that this started? he just said “before long”

I like that in this universe they actually acknowledge that hey comic books are a thing and this whole superheroes/villains/powers thing is kind of ridiculous bc it’s legit like playing out scenes straight from those comic books but also this is real life and it’s actually happening and really does pose a lot of danger and complications to a lot of people, so we’re going to treat it as something real and serious and affecting us

I might’ve spoken too soon but I really hope they don’t blow that mindset

I feel like too often superhero shows/movies just either completely gloss over the effects this stuff has on society as a whole, or it’s like a completely new thing for them, like there’s never been the concept of a fictional superhero or a comic book there before.

“was an age of heroes”??? oh no what happens

k but why is this guy dressed like the ‘do not cross’ lines

kind of a lame hero costume tbh :/

why. does he have. sleeves. but no shirt.

edna mode would never do you like that honey go see her

“Death Arms”?? what kind of alias is that?? also wouldn’t it make more sense for arms to be uncovered than his chest, then??

“The Punching Hero”

I’m sorry I Cannot take this guy seriously

waterbending??

asdkfdls idk why but this firehose guy really reminds me of that one alchemist from fmab with the top hat and the monocle and the peg leg that spun like a top and Scar murked

“rescue specialist” see?? that makes sense!! it makes me so happy that they’re actually thinking more about the worldbuilding and how dangerous scenarios would work if 80% of the population had powers of different kinds, beyond “big bad guy meet big good guy. punch punch good guy wins”

also dear god thank you for putting someone on crowd control I know I was just saying it was great these people weren’t really treating this like the end of the world and it is good that they were mostly staying back by themselves but. they were still standing very close to an ongoing fight. priorities, people. self preservation. they are things. that I do not believe most people in superhero universes have in the slightest.

aww he’s too short

(but is he shorter than edward elric)

((do we know))

(((somebody please tell me if this information is available)))

alsdfkj l;a that guy calling in late bc the train got held up by the villain... do you think that’s another equivalent of “oh...I’m...sick... yeah, totally, I’m sick” and “my dog ate my homework” to them? “there was a villain attack” or “some idiot on my block decided to show off their quirk and it got out of hand”

ope Big Hero™ is here

...why am I surprised that they have fans?? I mean I guess that makes sense they’re basically celebrities and public figures right?

okay Big Hero™ is Kamui got it

wait no that is not the Big Hero™

but they are another hero and their name is Kamui got it

“Kamui Woods” ok that’s actually helpful I was gonna ask what his skin was supposed to be bc I didn’t think it was scales and it does look kind of like bark... Now going to take that as permission to assume it’s the latter

kamui kind of reminds me of some pokemon but I’m not sure which one?? I’m sorry idk pokemon v well but thy def remind me of one of them

“...a fAnBOY” he looks and sounds like he just tricked someone into confessing to murder why is he so smug about that smh

you know what. speaking of. I don’t get why everyone views being a fan of something/someone as something to be embarrassed or ashamed about?? why do people make fun of other people for it? why do we treat it like some big dark secret we try to hide? when did liking something become a bad thing? like?? sorry I have hobbies and interests and you don’t? sorry I think this person is talented? sorry I thought this book was life-changing? sorry I listen to this album so much because it’s good? sorry this show made me laugh during a really rough time? like goddamn it’s nobody’s business what you like unless you’re trying to force it on you when you’ve asked them to stop or it’s hurting someone? if they’re being safe and respectful about it for everyone involved then there shouldn’t be a problem? stop making people feel like freaks or be scared to enjoy something just a little too much? just let people have good things in life and consume the media that makes them happy? it has little to no effect on you? I don’t get why it’s you’re problem?? sorry to get all soapboxy this is something that’s always really annoyed me

does kamui have flowers on their belt

icon

k but isn’t wood like... really easy to break tho

I mean... comparatively speaking?

“illegal use of powers during rush hour traffic” alsfjsadlkf

wait so he’s listing charges for the guy, does that mean heroes are officially licensed here and can actually arrest people? and... actually work with law enforcement?? gasp no wait but I thought that was impossible except for The One Officer On The Inside That The Hero Has Convinced Of Their Cause™

hold up... “assault, robbery, and illegal use of powers during rush hour traffic... you are the incarnation of evil” ...bro chill lmao

I mean those aren’t good things but,,,, buddy “evil” can get so much worse holy shit sunflower child has no idea what’s in store for them

the show can do a hell of a lot even if they decide not to go that dark

well deku did say he was new

also off topic but I just looked it up and DEKU IS HALF A FOOT TALLER THAN ED

I’M SORRY BUT THAT’S HILARIOUS

CAN YOU IMAGINE THIS EXCITED GREEN CHILD MEETING ED THE GREMLIN ELRIC AND JUST TOWERING OVER HIM

he’d probably get along well w al though so ed would have to like him anyways

ok but back to bnha

ope kamui just got upstaged

but honestly?? he was actin a lil cocky and she seems like a queen so I ain’t mad about it

oh great creeps are everywhere apparently

YES THANK YOU THEY NEED TO INCLUDE SUPERPOWERS IN LEGISLATION SOMEHOW OTHERWISE PEOPLE CAN GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING GEEZ

just. more worldbuilding that I appreciate.

jfc they muzzled him?

ok i wasn’t that mad about kamui being upstaged (idk why I kinda like the guy) but now she’s acting a little too cocky for me and I feel kind of bad for Death Arms and Backdraft (?) because they definitely do deserve at least a little credit

yes. official. overseen by the government. I’m not saying it’s necessarily a good idea bc I’m not getting into the whole mess the MCU basically did regarding that, but it really does add to the worldbuilding and making it seem more realistic/draw you in a little more because you can bet that would be a thing that would actually happen in some capacity if such a large percentage of the population had superpowers, and crime was at an all-time high at the same time, with normal methods without powers likely not doing much to combat that, and it being even harder because everyone’s is different

wow so they really do have roles similar to celebrities huh?

I actually love how he’s analyzing the new hero

that’s!! the good!!! nerdery!!!!

ngl thought that guy was gonna be like “well that’s never gonna happen” lmao glad he didn’t turn out to be an asshole

this guy’s hair and his sweater need an upgrade

I’m sorry honey it’s just not a Look™

I mean ngl I’d probably wear it but also I am the absolute last person to look to for a good idea of fashion so

wow we hate asshole teachers

this kid’s hair grows wtf

they seriously just break out their quirks when they get annoyed?? I mean me too probably but

oh wait he’s not totally an asshole

but that still is kind of a dick move because even if it seems really really likely that most of them do, a lot of them probably feel like that’s just what’s expected of them or that that’s their best bet at an ok life, or they don’t think they’ll actually be able to get a career as a hero, and he has to know that there are kids (or at least one) in his class who don’t have powers and who will probably be shut down at every turn on that career track??

also what is it with the absurd number of people whose hair grows/flys/whatever and whose hands change chape and/or elongate

the girl who just throws up the rock n roll sign is my favorite

also why does this teacher remind me of gilderoy lockhart

I get that his eye thing is part of his quirk... but does he face no consequences health-wise from putting his grubby fingers all over his eyeballs?? you don’t know where your hands have been

ah

the famed bakugo

we finally meet

you seem like a cocky asshole and if I remember correctly you have firepowers

you know who else seemed like cocky assholes and one point or another and had firepowers??

roy mustang and zuko

and one of those guys is an awkward, angry turtleduck, and the other one is a rightly smug bastard who succeeded in pulling a coup on the government who was surveilling him and holding half his team hostage

so yeah I have a feeling I’m gonna like this guy

probably

at some point

eventually

it might take a while

“the only place worthy of me” oh dear

All Might!! Big Hero™ has a name!!

oh being a hero solely bc you want to be rich and popular? lame

aklsdfsjaslkfd teach just callin deku out in front of everyone

r.i.p.

it was nice having you as a main character for eight whole minutes I’m sorry you have to face death-by-embarrassment you deserved better

ope

bakugo doesn’t want anyone stealin his thunder

lemme guess deku is also his Main Rival™ or at least will be

awwwww poor guy

how much you wanna bet he gets the highest scores in all the exams bc he studies the heroes so much and that’s how he gets in

that lady got forcefields for her quirk? damn she lucked out

“this cash is mine” *drops cash*

are all the heroes like fine mt. lady can deal w the guy she keeps stealing all our credit anyway so there’s no point??

....is that all might?

k but... y’all should be taking notes on the heroes too if you want a better chance at that career and better schools for it? I know they’re probably making fun of it bc he doesn’t have a quirk but still

also I find it really interesting that the kids all act like the quirks are absolutely everything but at that scene on the street earlier people were complaining about missing the days they didn’t have to worry about “every rando w a quirk” or something... like maybe it’s because the kids grew up w it? Idk just the difference in mindset between (presumably) generations seems cool to look into

wow we love bullies so much

no we don’t pls stop you’re not as cool as you think you are

DESTROYING SOMEONE’S NOTEBOOK/JOURNAL/SKETCHBOOK IS ONE OF THE MOST DICK MOVES SOMEONE CAN MAKE CHANGE MY MIND

alright bakugo you’ve definitely moved onto my shitlist for the moment

don’t stay there

well you know what they say about greatness... some people are destined for it, yeah, but some become it, and some have it thrust upon them

cliches are there for a reason buddy

and either way... I could be wrong but... there doesn’t seem like anything great or heroic about bullying people... I mean idk that’s just my opinion but

god I hope they eat bakugo alive at ua

deku I know you’re a sunshine child but you have to get in now. you have to. out of pure spite. please.

yeah, friend 1b is right buddy...

destroy him deku

DESTROY THEM DEKU

oh suicide jokes huh

bakugo you’re on thin fucking ice you’ve just moved way up in my shit list

wow I hate him <3

EXACTLY

THANK YOU DEKU

I hate it when shows have someone make a suicide joke like that and just? no one addresses it?? or the characters don’t seem to realize that it needs addressing, at least to themselves??? so this is refreshing

voiced my thoughts exactly

he really is an idiot

NO BUDDY YOUR DREAMS ARE STILL POSSIBLE AND VALID

YOUR NOTES ARE SALVAGEABLE

he really is a jerk deku you’re right

awww little deku is so cute

alright I’m gonna make a prediction

this is his mom right

is this gonna be

another

dead anime mom?

and lemme guess she always told him she was sure he’d be a hero/she knew he’d become one, and then she died, and that’s why he’s so set on it

probably not

but just... placing my bets now

w h a t  is this child doing

he’s a hair’s breadth away from head-desking

are we... just gonna... ignore that robbery that was happening on the street a few minutes ago

OKAY WE GET IT YOU’RE HERE CAN YOU GO BACK TO SAVING PEOPLE THEY’RE STILL IN DANGER

HIS CACKLES I CAN’T

alsdkjf;lsjk I feel bad for him but also,,, that transition was gold

but also the face his mom made before he started laughing... she knew he probably wouldn’t get one didn’t she

but why do they assume it won’t happen if they don’t get it by a certain age? they said after that baby people all around the world were getting powers, and showed people of all different ages when they said so. that implies that they got those powers at those ages, after the baby was born but not when they were children themselves? like yeah there’s probably some point where you’d consider them “aged out” and therefore less likely to get a quirk but... she just said he’s in kindergarten.

fourth generation? so the appearance of quirks isn’t a super recent thing then

they can tell if someone is going to manifest a quirk or is starting to by looking at x-rays?

also I know I’m seriously overusing the word “interesting” but

maybe I’m reading too far into this but it’s also kind of interesting that his father and his (current) main antagonist have such similar powers?

OH!!!! lore drop!! kind of!!! that’s a really interesting (wow there it is again) thing they chose to be an indicator for that kind of thing in this universe

*cue izuku contemplating chopping off his pinky toes*

I feel like... all might’s... not gonna be that great....

DEAR LORD HOW MANY TEARS CAN THIS CHILD HOLD IN HIS EYES

also ngl when little deku’s eyes are wide and he doesn’t move he looks really creepy and kind of like a child-sized doll

like pinocchio

how sure are we that deku isn’t made of wood

hmmmmmmmmm I do love this animation

ah Internal Angst™

the fuck is that laughter??

skin suit? no thanks

but guess we aren’t ignoring that earlier scene

yeah all might’s in the city alright

he’s gonna break this up isn’t he

yepppppp that’s him

idk I think alex louise armstrong did it better sorry bud :/

“texas smash”??

he just... punched liquid apart

this kid’s still gonna go flying and hit the ground hard buddy thanks for your help

oh he stuck around

and he’s not hurt too bad

“justicing”

he’s using the city’s sewer system being difficult to navigate as his excuse for why he wasn’t paying attention to keeping bystanders safe like he “usually” does?

the armstrongs do the sparkle better

a;ldkfsdlfls this is really funny to watch ngl

“that’s... a pretty good point.” yeah no shit lmao

I love how he’s just. awkwardly patting deku.

yeah he’s gonna end up accidentally adopting this kid isn’t he

is he hurt?? or did the other guy actually take him over while deku was unconscious??

nah I think he’s just hurt I’m p sure he really did get the guy

but still

that was... a big boom.... that’s not good

he’s just.... abandoning this kid on the rooftop??

but also he probably really does have to go if blood is coming out of his mouth

do heroes in this universe have secret identities?

I feel like yes but also no??

watch as this guy’s like “I don’t have a quirk either” and he’s just. like. an armstrong or something

that or he’s gonna crush this kid’s dreams and be like “no, it’s not possible” and I will be forced to ensure deku becomes the most successful hero ever out of Even More Pure Spite™ even if he idolizes the guy

oh yeah he’s gonna get his dreams crushed

IS ALL MIGHT GONNA VOUCH FOR HIM AND GET HIM AN OPPORTUNITY AT UA BC HE FEELS BAD FOR HIM

hmm this outro kinda slaps too

overall feelin good, like it so far, definitely think I won’t have trouble continuing watching at least for now

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

How do I write a world where non-earth religions (I’m creating them) are both diverse, and also common place to see people participate in multiple religions’ festivities or rituals. One, because there’s distance to actual religion and entering common lifestyle. Example like on earth plenty of non Christians are holding Christmas parties, it’s a common thing and not overtly religious. Two, or why not because of the diversity, religions simply mix together. Like on earth why not have fasting like Muslims do simply become a common lifestyle custom alongside Buddhist meditations also being common lifestyle customs. Three. Like two, but why can’t someone on earth be both Muslim and Buddhist?? Does that even make sense?

I only gave you real life religions as example only, for ease of explaining, not at all what I’ll use.

Also in this kind of world, how would you see religious tolerance? Can it honestly really be in harmony? How about the bigots? There’s still got to be some won’t there? Especially when daily lifestyles, or simply in the architecture and design throw all sorts of religion in their faces they can’t avoid unless they live under a rock.

Feral:

I’m not sure what the question is here. Should some people in your world participate in religious festivals that do not align with their beliefs? It’s certainly possible, and it depends on the religion in question. Christianity is inherently an evangelical religion; “witnessing” is the call of every Christian, so Christian religious activities tend to be geared towards welcoming non-believers with the intent on making them believers. Not to mention nearly all Christian festivals were the festivals of other religions that Christians reshaped into their own. And not to mention the commercialization of Christmas specifically has fundamentally changed how Christmas is viewed by Christians and non-Christians alike; I’ve heard it said, and am inclined to believe more or less, that even Christians in Victorian England really didn’t celebrate Christmas until Charles Dickens wrote “A Christmas Carol.” So, Christmas, for example, is of such mixed ancestry and exists in such a way as to be welcome for outsiders to “celebrate” without already believing in the underlying religion. It’s very important to keep in mind that this happens in culturally Christian regions or where Christmas has been so commercialized that people couldn’t even tell you its religious significance; and a lot of people of minority religions really fucking hate it - it’s insulting to be told that displaying a hanukiah at work is against company policy because you can’t have anything overtly religious on display when you’re surrounded by Christmas trees and listening to Christmas carols like “Oh Holy Night” piped in over the sound system. So you’ll want to keep in mind that some people will view a religious festival that’s “ubiquitously” celebrated as a dominant religion being forced on them at the expense of their own religious identity. You’ll also likely have religions that don’t proselytize and have absolutely no interest whatsoever in non-believers participating in their holy days - they’re holy! They’re meant for the people who already believe.

I’ve already briefly touched on why some religions would have a problem with non-believers crowding in on their holidays, but it’s worth repeating - not all religions are like Christianity. I’d go so far as to say that no other religions are like Christianity in this particular way. As for your examples regarding “Muslim fasting” and “Buddhist meditation”? People do fast. People do meditate. And it has nothing to do with religion. A lot of what makes “Muslim fasting” Muslim is prayer and dedication to Allah; if you’re removing that religious aspect of it, then you’re just fasting. And fasting is part of a number of religions, so it’s really hard to say which religion it comes from once the religion has been stripped away. As for meditation, meditation gained a lot of traction in the West because of the explosion of yoga. Which is a religious practice in Hinduism and Buddhism (and Jainism). It’s just been stripped of the religion, and like with fasting, meditation is found in many religions around the world; it’s just not that unique.

So, Buddhism is quite famous for being adoptable into other religious practices. Like if you had asked “why can’t someone be Muslim and Hindu?” my answer would have to be a run-down of the many fundamental theological reasons why those two religions are incapable of coinciding in a single person’s beliefs; however, Buddhism or Buddhist practices can be practiced alongside most religions. It’s non-theist, so there’s no creator deity that could contradict the beliefs of monotheists, polytheists, and atheists. Buddhism and Christianity have this whole huge long history, and Buddhism and Catholicism specifically dovetail really nicely together. What you’re talking about is syncretic religion, and it’s pretty common worldwide and throughout history.

The answers to all of those questions depend so intimately on how you build your religions and what their specific beliefs are. Some religions are naturally exclusivist, or you might have soft polytheism. It’s your world and your religions; we cannot make these decisions for you. If you want fundamentalism and bigotry to be a part of your world, then you can build your religions in such a way that those things would naturally occur. If you want harmony across religions to be a part of your world, then you can build your religions in such a way that that would naturally occur. You can even have it both ways! A world is a big place, and how people interact with their religion and the religions of others depends largely on where in the world they are and who else is there with them. A cosmopolitan culture where you have everyone brushing elbows with everyone else will have people developing a tolerance and softening their hardline views that would not occur in a more homogenous society where one religion is dominant.

Delta: A note about bigotry and prejudice: In geopolitics on earth, religious intolerance tends to be about one of two things: first, the majority religion (in the western world, Christianity) feeling compelled to force itself on other populations who do not share their beliefs. Examples of this include the Spanish Inquisition and, to some extent, “evangelical aid.” In Christianity, evangelicalism is a very important concept; sharing the religion is almost as important as a person’s personal faith. Off the top of my head, as Feral discussed, I can’t think of another religion with quite the same focus; so, by eliminating this element of religion, a huge amount of conflict could be eliminated if practitioners weren’t compelled to make all their acquaintances agree with them all the time. (Which is not to say all Christians just walk around proselytizing all the time, but it is fairly common in America; though I understand it to be somewhat less common in Europe, which through both culture and law has become more secular; more on this later.)

Second, it’s also about not wanting to concede power or control. A huge motivating factor behind all the Medieval Inquisitions, including the Spanish Inquisition, was the effort to curb what people in power considered religious heresy or just straight-up religious differences. They thought it was their place to dictate a group’s religious beliefs. Spain in particular was trying to stop the spread of Islam through the growing Ottoman Empire, which comes down to Medieval geopolitics as much as it does the religious differences between Islam and Christianity. Modern Islamophobia and religious conflict falls in this category a lot, too. But if your religions weren’t tied to more extensive geopolitical conflicts, you won’t have politicians using them as leverage to take and keep power like we do, so you could reduce religious tolerance that way, too.

Finally, secularism, which doesn’t directly address your question, but I wanted to mention it. In China, the official Communist Party has been somewhat infamously aggressively secular because religion was seen as a potentially rebellious force. Soviet Russia had similar experiences, both particularly with Muslim populations with whom they have political differences with besides, religion in this instance becoming a motivating factor for rebellion.

This is different from someplace like France, which aims to simply be neutral. Europe, overall, does not share the same public religious zeal that places like Israel, America, and Saudi Arabia have, but that doesn’t mean the conflict isn’t there.

Utuabzu: Something worth considering is are these gods real in the world you’re building? If the gods are demonstrably real, religiousness will be a lot more common and people are probably going to be more accepting of those that worship different deities given that any claims about them being false are easily refuted. Another thing to consider is the difference between philosophy and religion. In the West, Christianity fills both slots for many people (Judaism and Islam also do for some). In much of Asia, however, philosophies like Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, Yoga (the Hindu philosophical school, one of six major Hindu schools), etc. are practiced in addition to a more localised traditional religion, often comprised of a local pantheon of gods and some degree of ancestor worship. To some degree, even Christianity is sometimes treated like this, see the Chinese Rites controversy for example. It is entirely possible to have people simultaneously believing in local animistic deities (local forest/mountain/river gods), regional major deities (Sun god, moon god, justice god etc.) and one or more universalist philosophies. Add in the possibility of mystery religions (closed faiths that do not publicise their theologies and often don’t accept converts, see Mithraism, the Orphic Mysteries, or for a modern example, Yazidiism) and ethnic religions that don’t seek or don’t accept converts (see Judaism, Sikhism, Zoroastrianism), and it is very possible to have a wide variety of beliefs coexisting in a society. If they’ve been coexisting over a long period, one would generally expect most people to be aware of the major festivals, ceremonies, etc. of each, and while some may be open to all and treated by non-believers as more of a cultural festival (probably the animist ones), others may be believers-only, or invitation-only. Some festivals might be shared by several religions, because they either come from the same root, or both revere the same prophet/saint/whatever, or both worship the same deity, or maybe just had similar festivals happening at roughly the same time and though mutual influence ended up doing them at the same time. It really depends how you’ve built these religions and what their stances on non-believers are, how long they’ve been coexisting and how orthodox/orthopraxic (emphasis on believing the right things vs. emphasis on performing rituals correctly) they are.

[the-desolated-quill]

Why Spider-Man Leaving The MCU Is The Best News I’ve Heard In Ages - Quill’s Scribbles

Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Did you hear the news? I’d be surprised if you didn’t. EVERYONE has heard the news by now. A couple of days ago it was reported that the deal between Marvel and Sony that allowed the two studios to share custody for the rights of Spider-Man has fallen through. Spider-Man is no longer going to be part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Speaking as someone who is not only a big Spider-Man fan, but also a very vocal critic of the current state of Marvel and Disney’s cynical and convoluted ‘shared universe’, this caused quite a reaction when I first heard the news. I’m as happy as a man who just found out his high school crush likes him back on the same day he won the lottery. Happy, but not surprised. In fact I’m more surprised that other people were surprised by the news. The deal Marvel and Sony managed to strike was almost unheard of. Two rival movie studios in mutual cooperation. Never thought I’d see the day. But if you thought this was going to be the new norm, then I’m afraid you don’t understand this industry. I knew, or at least suspected, that once Sony had a hit on their hands, they’d cut ties with Marvel and Disney. It was only a matter of time. Now that Spider-Man: Far From Home has made over a billion dollars at the box office and now they have found success with their own non-MCU films, Venom and Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse, the simple fact of the matter is they don’t need Marvel or Disney anymore. So they’ve flown the coop. Yes it’s possible they could renegotiate the deal, but given how unlikely the prospect of the initial deal was in the first place, I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. It’s more likely they’re going to take their ball and go home. Sony’s Universe Of Marvel Characters (despite its incredibly clunky name) is now going to be firmly built upon and expanded, and I for one could not be more excited.

Of course not everyone shares my excitement. Disney, for one thing, aren’t happy. Nor are the cast. Jeremy Renner has made his views clear, begging Sony to give the rights to Spidey back. (Perhaps he should focus more on his own character Hawkeye, considering what a mess he’s become). Die hard MCU fans aren’t pleased neither. Same goes for ‘celebrity’ fans like Kevin Smith, a filmmaker who preferred to be called a comic book expert on the Venom Blu-Ray bonus features presumably because he hasn’t actually been relevant as a filmmaker since the 90s. (it’s worth reading his thoughts just for a laugh. He honestly thinks Disney aren’t greedy, corporate bastards. ROFL). And of course the so-called ‘professional’ critics, who for years have deluded themselves into thinking the MCU is actually good, have been writing their own little think pieces about what all this means. Can Spider-Man possibly survive without Iron Man and pals to prop him up? To which the answer is obviously yes. Sony had the rights to Spidey for fourteen years before the Marvel deal. They made five Spider-Man movies, four of which were massive box office successes. They also released Venom and Spider-Verse last year. Both hugely successful and the latter even won an Oscar, which is one more Oscar than Marvel Studios have ever won (sorry Black Panther. You were robbed).Can Spider-Man survive outside the MCU? Gee I don’t know. I guess somehow Sony will find the strength to soldier on without them.

Although, that being said, there’s not as many journalists siding with Disney as I thought there would be. There are quite a few articles explaining how this split could help Spidey in the long run, which is both absolutely true and refreshing to see. Hopefully this is a sign that we’re finally turning a corner and critics are starting to use their brains again. Like how everyone worshipped the ground Steven Moffat walked on until Sherlock Series 4 where everyone realised that he’s actually shit and has always been shit. 

Spider-Man leaving the MCU is the best thing you could do for the character at this stage. The way he’s been treated since joining the Marvel clusterfuck has been nothing short of appalling. I’ve made it no secret how much I detest this version of Spider-Man and some might dismiss what I’m about to say out of hand, perhaps claiming I’m biased because I’ve said numerous times that I love The Amazing Spider-Man films starring Andrew Garfield. Two films I will go to my grave defending because they were bloody good movies. People were just butt hurt because it wasn’t Spider-Man 4. Never mind the fact that the original Sam Raimi films were never that good to begin with (seriously, have any of you actually watched Spider-Man 2 recently? Trust me. It’s not as good as you remember it). No, I promise you that if MCU Spidey existed in a vacuum, I would still hate him just as much for the simple reason that he has absolutely nothing in common with the source material. Under the watchful, Orwellian eye of Marvel, they took Spider-Man, a character most famous for being a working class everyman, and turned him into the most spoilt and privileged little bum-balloon I’ve ever seen.

Spider-Man: Homecoming was a terrible movie. Plain and simple. A cynically produced, written by committee, pile of wank that gets so much of Spidey’s character and story completely wrong, it’s almost impressive. No longer a teenager/young adult struggling to balance his superhero life, his school work, his career and his social life, instead we got a groomed Mary Sue who doesn’t have to fight for anything because everything is basically handed to him on a silver platter courtesy of Iron Man. We never see him struggle. He’s not relatable. He never has to face consequences for his actions. He misses God knows how many classes and debate group meetings and yet he never gets punished for it. Sure he gets sent to detention a couple of times, but we see him leave whenever he bloody wants to. It’s just boring. If there’s no struggle, where’s the tension? And the less said about the villain, the better. Taking an eccentric antagonist like the Vulture and turning him into the stereotypical blue collar dad trying to provide for his family has got to be one of the most uninspired and blatantly lazy bits of characterisation I think I’ve ever seen. And that’s not to mention the supporting cast. Aunt May is youthed for no reason other than to make sexist jokes at her expense with every man that comes within her general vicinity staring at her with their tongues hanging out and eyes as large as saucepans. Minor villains like Shocker and the Tinkerer have their characters reduced to unfunny comedy sidekicks. And then there’s Peter Parker’s gang of racial stereotypes. We have Peter’s best friend, the fat and nerdy Ned who has no real personality other than being fat and nerdy (and is without a doubt the most annoying character in the damn film). Flash has been racebent so now he’s the stereotypical arrogant Asian prick. Michelle has no character other than being the same sassy black teenager who don’t give a shit, a caricature so old now it’s practically been fossilised. And then there’s the love interest Liz, a character so bland and one dimensional that I had to look her name up. Oh and lets not forget that the majority of this Spider-Man’s story was nicked from Miles Morales because people are only going to empathise with his story if it revolves around a white kid, am I right?

You know, I get so frustrated whenever people slag off the Amazing Spider-Man movies and claim that these new movies are better because... well... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! I’m sorry, but I was much more invested with Peter and Gwen than I ever was with Peter and... what’s her face? Or Peter and Michelle (who I categorically refuse to call MJ because she’s not MJ, is she? They just used the initials to pander to gullible fans. They didn’t have the guts to just make Mary Jane Watson black, did they? Of course not! We don’t want to alienate the casual racists, do we? They’re our main demographic after all). The reason why Peter and Gwen worked is because they’re well-written, three dimensional characters with great chemistry and whom we actually spend a significant amount of time getting to know. So when Gwen dies at the end of The Amazing Spider-Man 2, it becomes a heart wrenching moment because we’ve grown invested in this character and this relationship. If Michelle were to die in a future movie, I honestly wouldn’t bat a fucking eyelid. Even Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst had more chemistry than those two, and that relationship was a total shambles from start to finish.

It also helps that Peter and Gwen felt like real people. I loved the scene in the first movie where Peter awkwardly asks her out because it reminded me so much of how I asked my first girlfriend out. And that’s why I love the Amazing Spider-Man movies. Because out of all the Spidey films we’ve had over the past 17 years, the Amazing ones are the only ones in my opinion that manage to capture the humanity of the character. As fantastical as the world is, the characters, their relationships and their dilemmas are grounded firmly in reality. Homecoming on the other hand is just embarrassing. Despite casting teenage actors, none of the teenagers actually act like teenagers. They act like five year olds. It’s painfully obvious that the filmmakers are trying to pander to young kids and they clearly don’t know how to write them. Again, this is where the Amazing movies stands head and shoulders above the others. They’re not treated like kids or teenagers. They’re treated like people. Real people. Same goes for the villains. (Yes, even Electro, despite wonky execution).

But the main criticism people have with MCU Spidey is that these films aren’t actually about Spidey. They’re really about the MCU mascot Iron Man.

Now to be clear, I don’t necessarily have a problem with the idea of Iron Man being a surrogate father figure to Spidey. It could work. Captain America: Civil War, despite the clunky and contrived way in which Spidey was introduced to the MCU (oh you just happened to know about a masked vigilante we haven’t seen or heard of until now Tony? Okay. What about Daredevil and Luke Cage?... What do you mean they’re not in the movie?), did a good job of setting up the dynamic. Namely that Tony doesn’t actually care about Peter or his well being, merely using him for his own ends. Unless Americans have some kind of ‘Bring Your Child To A Warzone Day’  I don’t know about. 

Despite its flaws, Civil War was good because it gave us an unsettling look at the characters we’ve been watching for years. We see Captain America consumed by his own naivety and idealism to the point where he can no longer see the bigger picture and we see Iron Man go from being an industrial capitalist to an authoritarian fascist. Homecoming could have followed up on that. Have Spidey realise that Tony doesn’t have his best interests at heart, reject him as a father figure and grow into his own man. Instead the movie seems to go out of its way to undo all the interesting things Civil War brought to the table. Of course Tony cares about Peter! Oh and his relationship problems with Pepper Potts have been magically fixed off screen and now they’re getting married! Relax people, it’s okay! Nothing morally complicated going on here! We apologise for assuming you’re actually intelligent and promise never to make you think about anything ever again!

Not only is this quite insulting to the audience, it also negatively impacts Spidey’s arc. Turns out the movie isn’t about Spider-Man becoming his own man. It’s about him proving he can be an Avenger. He’s constantly in the shadow of Iron Man and, more to the point, we’re supposed to be happy that he’s in the shadow of Iron Man.

Again, this is where the Amazing Spider-Man gets it right. The first movie is very much about father figures. Uncle Ben, Curt Connors and Gwen’s dad all play a role in Peter’s growth and development over the course of the film. He’s able to take all the lessons and advice he gets from the three and use them to become his own man. As director Marc Webb so eloquently put it, ‘it’s a story about a kid who grows up looking for his father and finds himself.’ Compare that to the current iteration of Spidey where Uncle Ben doesn’t even appear to exist in this continuity because he’s been completely supplanted by Iron Dad. Remind me again why people think the Amazing movies are shit?

The latest film, Spider-Man: Far From Home, is no better. Same problems as before only this time Mysterio gets MCU’d to death. Instead of the pathetic loser trying desperately to receive recognition for his talents, we basically get a rehash of the plot from Iron Man 3, which in turn was a rehash of the plot from The Incredibles. Mysterio is basically trying to supplant Iron Man because he got screwed over when he used to work for Stark, and it’s up to everyone’s favourite wall-crawler to stop him because there’s only room in this universe for one Iron Boy. Even when Iron Man is dead, he’s still front and centre of the fucking narrative. Here’s a bright idea. How about we make a Spider-Man film that’s actually, you know, about Spider-Man? (Oh yeah, spoiler alert, Iron Man dies in Avengers: Endgame. Not that it’s really spoiling anything because Endgame is a big piece of shit).

Here’s the thing. Everyone is blaming Sony for the deal breaking down, and okay, I’m not going to pretend that Sony aren’t cynical. As much as I love The Amazing Spider-Man movies, I’m well aware the only reason they exist is because Sony desperately wanted to keep the rights. They spent a stupid amount of money on The Amazing Spider-Man 2 to the point where it needed to make a billion dollars at the box office in order to make a decent profit (a feat only achieved at that time by Batman with The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises) and they crammed loads of characters and plot points into an already overstuffed movie in order to rush out their own shared universe to compete with Marvel. When that didn’t work, they went crawling to Marvel and Disney in the hopes that the MCU could bail them out of the shit. I get it. There’s plenty to criticise. But for the likes of Kevin Smith and other idiots to only blame Sony and defend Marvel is really quite galling to me because Marvel and Disney are just as cynical, if not more so.

Does anyone here actually know what the deal was? Basically the agreement was that Kevin Feige would get lead producer credit for any solo Spider-Man films and Marvel and Disney would get five percent of the cut. Meanwhile Spider-Man would be allowed to appear in any MCU film. Also, because Sony still hold the rights to the character, they get the final say on any creative decision regarding Spider-Man. Or at least that’s the theory anyway. In reality that wasn’t the case. Reportedly Marvel and Disney were so anal about keeping the plot of Avengers: Endgame a secret that they didn’t tell the screenwriters of Spider-Man: Far From Home what happens in the bloody film. And considering that the film follows directly on from Endgame, that’s quite a problem. Sony may have creative control over Spider-Man, but Marvel and Disney can still call the shots, deliberately sabotaging Sony in order to boost hype for their own films. Also Sony are actually worse off in this deal because Marvel and Disney are the ones making all the money. Spider-Man has appeared in three MCU films. Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. All three of these films made Marvel and Disney over a billion dollars at the box office. Sony meanwhile have only made two Spidey movies, Homecoming and Far From Home, only one of which has made over a billion and both of which Marvel and Disney get five percent of the profit. Now that Sony have finally got their billion dollar Spider-Man movie, Marvel and Disney had the cheek to propose that Sony share fifty percent of the profits with them. Because it’s not enough for Marvel and Disney to be making shit tons of money off their own films. No. They also want as much money as they can get out of films made by other studios that are only tangentially related to their’s. God forbid a movie studio should be allowed to keep all the profits from their movie.

So yeah, I’m glad Sony have split and are free to make their own movies again. Because Disney have got such a strangle hold on the entire industry that I’m always happy to see any studio or IP slip through their fingers. And I’m not the only one who thinks this. Do you know who else agrees with me? Stan Lee’s own daughter.

In an interview with TMZ, Joan Lee slammed Disney for their lack of compassion when her father passed away:

“When my father died, no one from Marvel or Disney reached out to me. From day one, they have commoditised my father’s work and never shown him or his legacy any respect or decency. In the end, no one could have treated my father worse than Marvel and Disney’s executives.”

She then went on to support Sony’s decision to break the deal with Marvel, saying ‘whether it’s Sony or someone else’s, the continued evolution of Stan’s characters and his legacy deserves multiple points of view.’

And do you know what? She’s right. She’s absolutely right.

While people were celebrating when Disney bought 20th Century Fox because the X-Men and Fantastic Four were finally going to be part of their precious shared universe, I was watching in absolute horror because nobody was actually talking about the ramifications of this. Disney serves as a cautionary tale of what happens when capitalism goes unchecked. Seeing this mega-corporation consume and absorb other major studios like some Lovecraftian monster is both frightening and heartbreaking for me because the industry is going to be so much lesser for it. Less studios means less movies are going to be produced. It also means less variety in the entertainment we consume. Marvel and Disney have already done their utmost to homogenise and dumb down every MCU film to the point where most of them all feel the same, look the same and have nothing unique or creative about them whatsoever. And now we’re on the cusp of seeing that potentially happening to my most favourite superhero in the whole wide world:

Thanks to the Disney buyout, plans for X-Force and Deadpool 3 have been placed on indefinite hold with people reckoning we won’t see the Merc with the Mouth again until Phase 5 (Christ, give me strength) of the MCU so that Marvel and Disney can work out exactly how to fit him into their shared universe. Naturally the R rated nature of the character makes him difficult to integrate into the PG-13 MCU. Some have suggested toning down the character. Even David Leitch, the director of Deadpool 2, said they could make a PG-13 version of the character, which just feels like such a massive betrayal. After literally years of Ryan Reynolds, director Tim Miller, screenwriters Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick, and the fans fighting tooth and claw to get an R rated Deadpool movie green-lit, it sickens me whenever I see people discussing how a PG-13 Deadpool wouldn’t be so bad and that they just want to see him pop up in an Avengers movie.

Here’s a suggestion. If you can’t make someone like Deadpool fit into the MCU, STOP TRYING TO FUCKING DO IT! Let him be his own separate thing! I’ve got no problem with that! But no. Everything has to be connected to this idiotic shared universe, but here’s the thing, I really don’t fucking care. I couldn’t give two shits if Deadpool and Captain America were to meet in a movie. I just want to see X-Force and Deadpool 3. I just want some good fucking movies. Is that really too much to ask?

The MCU, and by extension Disney, are slowly ruining the industry with this shared universe crap and I’m getting so bloody sick of this. Not only does the premise have absolutely nothing new to offer at this point, it’s also ruining the quality of standalone movies. Instead of telling compelling stories with likeable characters, they’re just adverts for more movies to come with nothing unique to offer. Oooooh, can the Avengers stop Thanos and unkill everyone who we know aren’t really dead because they all have fucking sequels planned? Tune in next week to confirm what you already bloody know! I don’t give a fuck what you’ve got planned for me down the road in ten or fifteen movies time. Right now I’m stuck here at a service station and I’ve got no fucking sandwiches.

Off the top of my head, the only MCU films I can think of that I’ve watched in recent memory and I’ve actually enjoyed are Captain America: Civil War and Black Panther. And do you know why? Because they actually have something to say. They’re not focused on teasing the next bullshit spinoff movie. Black Panther in particular has little to no connection with the rest of the MCU. It works as its own standalone piece and has its own unique voice, commenting on how black people are viewed in society. Civil War takes elements from previous films and goes in an entirely new direction with them, exploring the faults in our beloved Avengers and questioning their role as superheroes. It offers something beyond a tease for the next film. It poses thought provoking questions about the characters and forces us to confront some harsh truths about them. But in an environment like the MCU, where everything is pre-planned by committee, there’s no room for creativity or expression, which means the few good movies get stifled. It’s impossible to continue the themes of Civil War because Homecoming exists to contradict everything. Black Panther is an amazing and impactful movie, but its impact is lessened thanks to Infinity War where we see the Wakandans reduced to little more than cannon fodder so that the real heroes can fight the baddie.

It’s frustrating to see people blindly accept and support the poisonous business model of Marvel and Disney because it’s not normal, it’s not benefiting the industry at large and it’s not even financially viable in the long term. Marvel Studios’ success revolves around one franchise. What happens when the shared universe/comic book movie bubble bursts and people eventually stop watching these films? (and it will happen because it always happens. That’s how trends work). They’re going to be up shit street, aren’t they? At least Warner Bros have Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings to fall back on. Their future isn’t entirely dependant on the success of the DCEU (thank God, some might say).

Also it’s worth noting that studios are slowly starting to move away from the shared universe format. Before the buyout, 20th Century Fox were taking risks with smaller budget, standalone movies like Deadpool and Logan. After the disaster that was Justice League, Warner Bros and DC have recently started focusing more on standalone movies to great success. Aquaman and Shazam, while still part of the DCEU, work as their own independent films. We’ve also got Joker being released in a couple of months time, which I think everyone should be paying really close attention to, because if Joker is critically and commercially successful, it could very well serve as the death knell for the concept of a shared universe. Definitive proof that you don’t need twenty movies and interconnecting stories with massive budgets to be successful. All you need is a very good idea.

Even Sony have finally learnt their lesson. They’ve taken a risk with Into The Spider-Verse and received an Academy Award for their trouble. As for Sony’s Universe Of Marvel Characters, they’re already off to a strong start with Venom. And mercifully they’re not making the same mistakes they did with the Amazing Spider-Man 2 or Ghostbusters. They’re not spending ridiculous amounts of money with unrealistic expectations of success and they’re no longer putting the cart way before the horse. They’re focusing on making a good movie first and worrying about potential expansion later. Venom may not be a masterpiece, but it’s a hell of a lot more entertaining and fulfilling than the majority of MCU films because it tells a complete story with a beginning, middle and end and it has well developed characters that we actually like and grow attached to. And if worst comes to the worst and Sony’s next film, Morbius, doesn’t do well, then they have Venom 2 to fall back on. And if that doesn’t work, they’ll still have Spider-Verse. They are no longer putting all their eggs in one basket and that’s good. That’s the smart thing to do.

Can you imagine something like Venom in the MCU? Of course not! Because Venom has its own unique tone and vision. That’s why it was so successful with audiences. Its mix of dark comedy and campy sci-fi horror made it stand out from the crowd. Marvel and Disney want us to believe that there’s only one way to make a superhero movie, when that’s simply not true. And now that Spider-Man is free to find his own unique voice again, hopefully people will begin to see just how creatively limiting and damaging the MCU truly is.

[camillemontespan]

the golden boy [interview with leo rhys]

I wrote this a month ago and after editing, think I’m ready to post it. No reason for this other than it’s Leo!

@fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @jovialyouthmusic @sirbeepsalot @pug-bitch @moonlightgem7 @emceesynonymroll @burnsoslow @ibldw-main @emichelle @katedrakeohd  @notoriouscs @thecordoniandiaries @gardeningourmet @dcbbw @of-course-i-went-to-hartfeld @be-still-my-aching-heart @rainbowsinthestorm

*********************************************************************************

When I come face to face with Prince Leo of Cordonia, his smile reminds me of the quote from F Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby: It understood you just as far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey.

Leo has that smile. It lights up his face and makes me feel all gooey and warm. We meet on an Autumn day at a coffee shop on the square and he enters the shop wearing a brown leather jacket, black woolen sweater, jeans and boots. He looks like an off duty model, not a prince. He ignores those who turn to stare at him and greets me with that smile and a kiss on the cheek.

'Sorry I'm late,' he says, before settling down on the chair opposite me. The waitress comes over to take our order, blushing as she asks what he would like. 'I'll have a latte,' he says, giving her the same smile he gave me, 'and the lady will have?' he gestures to me. I ask for a cappuccino.

'Sorry, I did read your email but I've forgotten your name,' he tells me, wincing apologetically.

'Carmen,' I say. He flashes me a wolfish grin. 'Nice to meet you, Carmen.'

I gather together my notes but can't help but feel like he is watching me. I look up and he is, his arm draped over the back of his chair, that smile on his face. He is all golden skin and golden hair; a Greek god come to life. I clear my throat and ask how he's settling back into Royal life after spending years away travelling.

'It feels good!' he enthuses. 'Honestly it's nice to kinda be settled and spend time with good people. It's awesome seeing my little brother again.'

His little brother is King Liam. Three years ago, Leo was the one with the crown on his head until he suddenly announced he was abdicating. He left Cordonia and his brother took the throne and crown, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Leo has the decency to look guilty when I bring the subject up. When the waitress comes back with our coffees, he looks relieved for the distraction.

'Okay, I'm an honest person,' he says. 'An open book. I'll tell you anything and to be honest, I do regret leaving my brother in the lurch like that. But I was in no way fit to be a king. I never have been.'

I ask if he could elaborate. He fixes me with his forest green eyes. 'Carmen,' he says, 'look at me. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. I'm a reckless irresponsible asshole who would have run Cordonia into the ground if I was given absolute power. Trust me, I may have gone about it the wrong way but I made the right decision.'

Leo is the party boy of the Royal family. Much like Prince Harry in the UK, he spent his early twenties drinking, running around with girls and acting like there was no tomorrow. Leo smirks at the comparison with Prince Harry.

'Thing is, Prince Harry was the second born, the spare. He is never going to be the king which was why he could pull all that shit when he was younger. That said, I don’t condone dressing up like a WW2 figure -you know who I mean- Jesus, have some fucking decorum... But I didn't have that luxury of being the spare but I sure acted like I did. It should have been Liam going out till 7am every night but it wasn't. It was me.'

Prince Harry is in his thirties now with a wife and baby. Has Leo grown up?

'Do you see me with a wife and kid?' he jokes. He smiles and sips his coffee before answering.

'I think I've turned over a new leaf but don't quote me on that.'

He had been engaged to Duchess Madeleine but that ended abruptly, at the same time he abdicated. Has he seen her since he's been back? Leo runs his hand through his blonde hair awkwardly.

'Okay so you know how I said I'm an open book? Yeah, scratch that. Maddie is off limits in this conversation.'

He must still care for her if he calls her Maddie.

'Actually, I don't,' he says shortly. 'We've moved on. She's dating, she's happy. I just don't think she would appreciate me talking about her. She likes her privacy.'

I feel myself turn red. He's told me off. His eyes soften and he gives me an apologetic smile. 'Sorry, Carmen,' he says. 'I didn't mean to be a dick.'

We brush past the awkwardness and I ask him if he's dating. He chuckles. 'I'm seeing people.'

People. So not just one. Clearly, he isn't settling down just yet.

'I can't be pinned down,' he says. 'I'm actually a terrible boyfriend.'

I ask how.

'Ugh, God. I make promises I don't intend to keep. I believe the best way to fix an argument is just buy the girl something sparkly instead of talking about feelings. I take forever to answer texts. I choose a night out with the guys over a romantic night in. I’m always late. Shall I go on?'

So this new leaf he thinks he's turned over. If he's not settling down, what's changed?

'I'm actually staying in Cordonia permanently,' he answers. 'A year ago, I would have hated the idea of putting down roots and settling but now, I'm happy to be home. I want to make up for lost time and make amends to my brother. I know I can be an asshole but I am actually a good person underneath it all. I've learned the hard way that my actions have consequences and I don't want to treat those I love like shit again.'

He gives me a happy smile. ‘Liam is doing so good,’ he says. ‘I’m honestly so proud of him. He’s really turning Cordonia into a modern place and he listens to the people, you know? He genuinely cares. I’m glad I’m back with him.’

Who is he close with at court aside from Liam?

'Maxwell Beaumont is the fucking MVP,' he says, a broad smile forming on his tanned face. 'Honestly, he's the best. We bonded over his love for planning a Beaumont Bash. You know I love a party. We've joked that we should start our own party planning business.'

He then begins to list other famous faces at court. 'Drake Walker is my brother’s best friend but we get on well. He's changed so much since I was away, I mean he's married now! I always thought he would end up living in someone's basement like a weird uncle.. But no, he's married to Camille [the Duchess of Valtoria] and they have a baby. It's insane.'

I ask if he's close with Olivia Nevrakis, Liam's childhood friend. He smirks. 'Define close?'

I blanch at his suggestiveness. 'Are you guys..'?

He laughs and takes a swig of coffee. 'Ha! As if I'm telling you that! I mean, I would but Olivia would castrate me with her favourite dagger if I said anything.'

There wasn't any denial. Leo sees me trying to work it out and chuckles. He chuckles a lot by the way, like he is in on the joke and just waiting for everyone else to catch up.

'I'm dating people, she's dating people,' he says. 'Why label anything? What is the good in doing any of that? I've had so many women believe they could change me, make me into the boyfriend they wanted and needed. They always asked me about a month in if we could talk about ‘what we are’ you know, like, define the relationship. Nothing terrifies me more than that conversation.’

I tell him that sometimes, it’s just nice to know where you stand with someone. Leo throws his hands in the air, becoming really animated now. ‘But surely, the fact I’m taking you on dates and having sex with you is enough of an indication! Why are women like this?! If I’m fucking you, then be happy.’

‘Sometimes, women want to know if they’re dating a man or a boy,’ I say. 

‘Are you saying I’m a boy?’ Leo asks me, raising an eyebrow - he is smiling though. He launches back into his subject.

‘I've started to just be brutally honest from the get go. I'm not the guy you can come to for deep conversations. I'm not going to text you good morning. If you want mindless fucking with some fancy dinners thrown in, I'm your guy. Otherwise, I'll just end up disappointing you.' His voice goes quiet .'Why deny the inevitable?'

His expression turns dark until he sees me and smiles again. 'You dating anyone, Carmen?' he asks me. I say no. He gives me a wink.

'They're missing out,' he says. He then gets serious again. 'As I said before, I learned the hard way that my actions have consequences. That's also why I'm now honest with women I might date. That new leaf again. I used to not be honest and go along with it, string them along but that's cruel. There's no need to be that kind of guy.`

Is he a feminist?

'Women should rule the fucking world,' he announces. 'Honestly, you guys are brilliant. I love women. The ones I know at court are strong and independent, they are powerful. Besides, if you believe that women and men should be equal, then you're a feminist. If you think women deserve to miss out on a promotion or pay rise because they have vaginas, then you're an asshole.'

So if he loves them so much, why does he treat women and relationships like they're nothing?

He blinks at my bluntness. I think I've definitely overstepped, until he leans forward. I catch the scent of his cologne. He smells expensive.

'Maybe I used to treat women like crap because I wanted them to dump me before I hurt them,' he whispers. 'Think of it like a weird armour.'

Has he got any chinks in this armour of his?

He gives me a wry smile. 'I love it when a woman challenges me. I like women who go toe to toe with me, who don't take my shit. Its refreshing. And so fucking sexy.'

His green eyes are steady on mine. I ask who his celebrity crush is. 

‘Ha, what am I, thirteen?’ he laughs. Shaking his head, he smiles. ‘Fine, I’ll bite. Jessica Rabbit.’

I blink. ‘Um, she’s fictional..’

‘She’s still famous though. You think I’m kidding? She’s a fucking babe.’

I note that he didn’t pick a real life woman. I wonder if that’s because he doesn’t want to admit feelings for someone real, even if it is just a fun game. He sees me studying him and sips his coffee before interrupting my thoughts. ‘Carmen, there’s no use in trying to analyse me. There’s a lot of fucked up shit going on in here.’ He points to his head and chuckles. 

I change the subject. He has been travelling for the past three years. What's been the best place he's been to?

His face lights up. 'Aw man, so many! Okay, so I went to Bali for a month which was incredible. Prague is pretty awesome, really cheap beer, I love Havana for the laidback vibe and how it’s so untouched. They have the best cars. I also tried a cruise but Jesus, that was really weird..'

Does he prefer to travel solo?

He nods. 'I can just do my own thing. There's nothing better than waking up in your own camper van with a view of the mountains in front of you and no plan. It was so freeing.'

Leo would have felt trapped as the king of Cordonia. That is obvious. Is that why he always flouted the rules?

Leo smirks. 'Rules are meant to be broken baby.'

I ask him to be serious. Leo sighs. 'Yeah. I hated this gilded cage that I was born into. A life of decorum, etiquette and restrictions is not a life I wanted, I never did. But I know there's so many people out there who have been dealt shitty cards. You've got poverty and homelessness. They've got it worse. So I shouldn't complain. But I just always wished I could be normal.'

Leo being a commoner? I can't imagine it.

Leo corrects himself. 'I tried to act normal given my life situation. I went out with girls, got drunk, did non-princely things. But being who I am.. It doesn't fit. I will always be Prince Leo, one time King of Cordonia. I will never escape that. I will never be a normal guy... It just look me a while to realise that. '

Does he regret any of his partying and the constant headlines? He nods. 'Yeah, I do. It wasn't easy for Liam. I think me acting like I did forced my brother to grow up quickly, which was unfair. As I said though, I'm back to make amends.'

I ask if he'll live in the palace. He shakes his head. 'No. I know I should but I don't like the place anyway and besides, when Liam is trying to be a king and command attention, I don't want people to look past him and at me. The abdicated king. No thanks. I've got my own place. It's got a beautiful view over the harbour.. You'd like it.'

He gives me a wink and I hate to say it but I blush. I actually blush. Leo gives me a grin. 'Tell you what, Carmen..' he says, 'anything you want to ask me, you can, but it has to be off the record and over a drink with me.'

I tell him we're drinking coffee. He chuckles. 'I meant something stronger.'

He looks at me steadily for a moment, waiting for my response.  I shake my notes, trying to look professional. Leo grins and raises his hand in the air. 'Can we have the check please?'

                                                     ******

As this article goes to print, we must inform our readers that we have had to dismiss Carmen Cortez for inappropriate behaviour with her interview subject and failing to uphold our values of journalistic professionalism.  She now works at TV Guide.

[constantviewings]

The TV Show Trials - Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Based out of the New York City Police Department’s 16th precinct in Manhattan, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit delves into the dark side of the New York underworld as the detectives of a new elite force, the Special Victims Unit, investigate and prosecute various sexually-oriented crimes.

This is the second part of this month’s TV Show Trials – Double Feature. If you would like to read the first part, where I reviewed Law and Order, you can find it here. As stated in the first part of this review, Special Victims Unit is my favourite of the two. As always with anthology series, I will give my opinions on each episode individually before summarising my thoughts on the series at the end.

American Tragedy

A celebrity Southern chef shoots and kills a teenage African-American boy that she thought was a serial rapist. But was her life in danger, or was she just an over-reactive racist?

 This episode is based off of both the shooting of Trayven Martin and several racist remarks made by Paula Deen. This is a good episode overall, the perpetrator is very easy to hate due to her ignorance and blatant racism.

Funny Valentine

Can SVU convince an up-and-coming singer to break away from her abusive hip-hop singer boyfriend before it is too late?

 The parallels between this episode and the incident between Chris Brown and Rihanna are loud a clear, so much so that they name drop the real-life inspiration in the episode. Once again, the perpetrator is very easy to hate, and though I tried my hardest I couldn’t help but blame the victim slightly for what happened to her in the end.

American Disgrace

A basketball legend is accused of raping multiple women, but exactly what role did the powerful CEO of the sports apparel company who had a contract with him play in the situation?

 The immediate ties between this episode and its real life counterpart are harder to spot due to the fact that it mixes together elements of multiple cases. This is most likely the reason that I found this episode less enjoyable than most others.

Pornstars Requiem

Two college students are accused of raping a classmate who had appeared in a series of violent online pornographic videos.

 All this episode left me thinking is: can’t people just treat sex workers like they’re normal people (because they are). Just because someone works in the adult entertainment industry does not mean you can assume what rights they do or don’t have. This episode did bring another main element forward, it was this episode that finally gave me a favourite character, Rafael Barba.

Influence

Rock star Derek Lord goes on a national talk show and lectures about the abuse of psychiatric drugs. Meanwhile, an unstable young woman loses her virginity, goes off her prescribed medication, gets behind the wheel of a car, and mows down 10 people. As these events are played out in a highly charged way, the argument about prescribed “meds” is challenged.

 God, this episode pulled some very strong opinions and feelings from me. I don’t think I can support Tom Cruise, as an individual, after learning of his blatant disregard for the psychiatric profession. Apart from the Tom Cruise inspired elements, this episode is an original concept separated from famous events and it raises a serious debate about whether you can convict someone who is affected by mental illness that inhibits their reasoning abilities.

Sick

Two children claim that they were molested by a billionaire.

 Before this episode, I had no clue that there where paedophilic allegations towards Michael Jackson; call me ignorant all you want. I won’t present my personal views on the real-life situation here; but I might in a full review of Leaving Neverland. But, I can say for certain that this episode left me feeling sick.

Blood Brothers

A pregnant 13 year old girl from Washington Heights claims that the son of an ambassador raped her, but the accused goes missing before SVU can question him.

 I never thought I would watch something where the main premise is that of a child killing another child, but here I am. This episode drew inspiration from the Arnold Schwarzenegger scandal from 2011, where he cheated on his wife with a housekeeper who then becomes pregnant with his child and has him play the mother for child support. All these elements are used in this episodes, with an extra sprinkling of child murder to spice things up a bit.

Personal Fouls

SVU investigates an accusation that a revered high school basketball coach sexually abused his players, but they ultimately may need the cooperation of a reluctant pro superstar to make case.

 This episode brought with it some ups and downs, it contained my first recognisable celebrity cameo with Aaron Tviet and the main disappointment that there were no court scenes; which are easily my favourite parts of the show.

Selfish

An immature, irresponsible young mother is assumed to have killed her child, but it turns out to be part of a measles outbreak. A.D.A. Cabot then goes after the mother of the child who started the outbreak, who refuses to immunise him.

 This episode features another easily recognisable celebrity cameo, Hillary Duff. This episode combines the polarising anti-vaccination community and irresponsible mother Casey Anthony; who killed her daughter so she could have a social life. This episode is packed with drama and entertainment value as we encounter twists and turns with this case.

Game

The squad is at a loss on what to do with a violent homicide when Stabler’s son points out that the event is straight out a video game. Interviewing the game’s creators leads them to a former employee, who then leads them (with a few other steps along the way) to a teenage couple who claim to be unable to distinguish fantasy from reality.

 This was probably the least entertaining episode of those I watched. This episode doesn’t revolve around a specific crime, but the topic of violent video games; specifically the Grand Theft Auto franchise. I wasn’t very engaged throughout this episode, as it lacks a clear through-line to keep my attention over the course of it.

Monogamy

The case involves the beating of a seven-months-pregnant woman, whose unborn child has been torn from her body via a primitive caesarean section. Among the many witnesses questioned is the woman’s husband, a psychiatrist with several devastating secrets and knows more about his wife’s beating than he’s willing to admit.

 This episode has, hands down, the best ending out of all the episodes I watched; and is maybe my favourite episode from SVU.

Babes

The grisly murder of a homeless man leads detectives to four high school girls with a pregnancy pact. But after their pact is revealed, somebody drives the girls’ ringleader to an apparent suicide.

 The only note I made about this episode was the boyfriend of the ringleader acted well, so this episode must have been pretty average for me to not write anything else.

Imprisoned Lives

The case of an abandoned seven-year-old boy in Times Square leads to the shocking discovery of two women locked in a basement cage by their abductors for nearly a decade.

 The obvious inspiration for this episode was Ariel Castro. I somewhat enjoyed this episode, but while watching it I couldn’t help but think of Room.

Scavenger

The entire SVU squad races against the clock to solve the puzzles and uncover clues scattered throughout NYC by a serial killer who is taunting then to find him and the next victims on his list.

 This is a really good episode that kept me on my toes the entire time. I don’t have much else to say other than this was the best episode I watched; hands down.

Head

A coprophillic Cyber-Peeping Tom catches a child abuse case on video.

 This is a mildly interesting episode based on the Mary Kay Letourneau case, who raped and was impregnated by their 13-year-old student. Though, the episode incorporates a brain tumour that caused the perpetrator to have paedophilic urges, which is extremely interesting.

Overall, I like SVU more than it’s predecessor and I am quite likely to continue watching it; but casually, as compared to full-time.

[seouledbysisi]

A Time Like No Other

Chapter 8

The Meeting

Misun outfit: 

Nori Outfit: 

The girls walked through the huge reception area of the large building. They could feel their body reacting in nervousness. Misun's palms became a bit moist. Nori knew she was on edge so she needed to calm her down somehow. She stopped her for a moment, with her hands on her shoulders. “Misun, we got this okay? The worst thing that can happen is that we don't like his plan for us.”

Misun inhaled deeply. “I know. I just need a minute before we walk into that meeting. Can we pray? I think that might help.” She was becoming anxious.

Nori nodded. “Of course!” They grabbed one another hands and began to pray asking God to be with them in this meeting and to help them make the right decisions for their career and to guide them always.

“I feel better. You ready for this?” Misun asked in a bit more excitement than she had before.

Nori pulled her to the elevator and they embarked to the seventh floor where his office was. Miranda was already there waiting for them. As they walked in there were a few people waiting for them. Nori and Misun bowed a little and took their seats.

The president welcomed them in with a smile. “Some of my talent scouts came across your YouTube channel and I must say you have a lot people that seem to like what you're doing. Tell me why you started it?”

Misun nodded to Nori so she could answer.

“We really love music and we love the people that create beautiful music that touches others hearts. We wanted fans of these artists to be able to get a better feel of who they truly are as well as us being able to connect with the artists.” Nori explained.

“Music is not just something that you do or that you listen to. It's more about how you feel when you hear it or how it moves you. It's about the passion that these artists put into their artistry. We wanted to be able to get closer to that. We love entertainment period. We want to expand in so many ways.” Misun added.

The president nodded. “I like you. You're driven and anyone can work with a person that's passionate and not afraid of learning new things and new ways. So I propose that we draw up a contract that will link you exclusively to Ktown Entertainment. What do you think?”

Misun took a deep breath. “I know you have your own staff but this contract has to include our personal consultant, Miranda, as well. We wouldn't be where we are without her and there's no way we're leaving her behind.”

“That's not a problem. You just tell me what role she plays in your career and we can draw up a contract for her as well.” The president answered with a smile.

Miranda smiled big at the girls. She had so much faith in them and she was about ready to let them fly on their own, no she wasn't ready to let them go but she wasn't sure where her place would be at this point but she felt so much love and respect from them since they weren't ready to let her go as well. “Thank you.” She nodded in Misun and Nori's direction.

They talked more business and then the contracts were in their faces. A physical copy of the thing that was changing their lives for the better.

“So living arrangements?” Misun directed her question to the president.

His grin got bigger. “Oh yes, that apartment you're staying in. . .it's yours as long as you're signed with us. I need you two living here within the next month. I have a lot of work for you girls to get started with as well as media training and so forth.”

“A month? What about our lease? That's not up until November!” Nori directed to Misun.

The president placed his hand on both of their shoulders. “No need to worry. Whatever fee you have to pay to release you from your lease I will take care of. Don't worry. It's smooth sailing from here.”

Misun nodded. “Does Miranda have to move here?”

“If she wants to but we won't need her here all the time like we need you two. She can simply travel when necessary.” He replied.

Miranda shook her head. “I don't think my husband would like moving here right now so I'll just travel here when I'm needed.”

They got everything sorted out and they left.

Back at the apartment

Nori is throwing clothes everywhere while Misun is sipping on some red wine. “What are you looking for?” Misun asked her.

“Something to wear!” She plops down on the floor with the rest of her clothes.

Misun cocked an eyebrow up. “Where are you going?”

“You mean where are WE going!” Nori answered with a sly grin.

Misun shook her head. “Nope, I'm not going anywhere especially when you have that sneaky grin on your face!”

“You are going, so go find something sexy to wear because we owe ourselves to celebrate tonight!”

Misun lifted her glass of wine. “This is me celebrating, duh!”

Nori pulled her off the bed. “Get your booty in that room and find something sexy! If you don't I will for you!”

Misun pouted as she walked into the room. “Okay okay! Gosh!”

Misun finally found something that was suitable for a club setting. She didn't go to clubs back home except for when Nori would drag her there so this was totally out of her element but she may as well live a little. She began to curl her long black hair. She loosened the curls so that they would look more like beach waves. She fixed her makeup and finally exited her room where her best friend was awaiting her.

Nori's eyes widened. She was stunned. “Whoa mama! You look hot! Every Korean guy is going to want a piece of Misun, tonight!” She couldn't take her eyes off of her bestie.

Misun began to blush and waved her off. “Stop! I feel very uncomfortable. Is this too much?”

“It's just enough. Let loose please. Even if it's just for tonight, please have some real fun. We deserve this!” Nori told her with a grin.

Misun nodded. “Okay, I won't be so in my head tonight. You look beautiful by the way, every man is that building is going to want YOU!”

Nori winked at her. “I know. That's the point of this whole outfit. Give them a taste of what they can't have. Now let's go because Miranda is waiting on us downstairs.”

“She's coming with us? Her husband is going to kill her!” Misun acknowledged.

Nori shrugged. “She's still young, she needs a life outside of him. Plus what he doesn't know can't hurt him. Let's go!”

They jumped into the vehicle with Miranda. “Dang, Miranda! You clean up really nice!” Misun told her.

“If I could dress like this all the time I would but Michael hates me showing any type of skin.” She said as she rolled her eyes and drove away from the apartment building.

Monsta X

The music was banging in their ears as they sipped on their beer in the V.I.P. section that was highly secured. There were so many fans trying to get an invite to join them but the guys just weren't feeling it tonight. They simply waved to the fans and threw hearts in their direction. They just were trying to relax and enjoy their time there.

“Times like this I kind of wish I wasn't famous.” Wonho admitted.

The guys all looked at him stunned. “What do you mean?” Shownu asked him.

“I love our fans of course but we're stuck in this section until we leave because they're swarming this area. Don't you ever just want to get on the dance floor and grab a pretty girl and dance the night away?” Wonho explained.

Minhyuk nodded. “I understand. Just be treated like a normal person because we are just normal people who just happen to perform too. I get you.”

“Go grab a pretty girl and dance with her then. We have security. Have fun!” Kihyun urged.

Shownu shook his head. “Monbebe may not like that very much.”

“What are you talking about? Whoever he dances with is a monbebe. They will be happy that we're giving them real attention.” Kihyun argued. “Go Wonho!”

Wonho chuckled. “I don't know, maybe Shownu is right.”

Shownu smirked. “No, maybe I'm not. You gotta live your life. Go dance! Or invite one of them in to dance with you.” Shownu didn't want to ruin everyone else night simply because he wasn't really into it.

Wonho nodded and patted Shownu's shoulder. He told one of their security guys to invite a few of the fans in. The ladies came in and sat next to the guys.

The girl who sat next to Shownu kept talking to him expecting better responses than he was giving. “What's wrong with you?” She asked him playfully. “Am I not pretty enough?”

Shownu snapped out of it for a moment. He felt bad that he was being rude. “Oh no, you're gorgeous. I'm just in a weird mood tonight.” He replied with a smile.

The girl moved some of her hair behind her ear. “It's okay. Maybe I can help you feel better. Dance with me?”

“No you don't have to.” He replied with a small smile and looked away.

She stood up and grabbed his hand. “I insist that you dance with me. You love to dance and I love to have a good time so give me a chance to help you feel better!”

He stood up. He couldn't allow her to keep begging for his attention so he obliged. Maybe this would open him up a bit. He had been closed off for a few weeks and he needed to get himself out of whatever funk this was. He grabbed her hips softly as she swayed them from side to side.

She placed her arms around his neck. “Is it working yet?” She asked with a flirtatious smile.

He nodded. He couldn't lie, dancing was like therapy for him so it was helping and he couldn't deny this woman's beauty.

The other guys began dancing with the other females that were up there with them until something caught Changkyun's eye. He let go of the girl he was dancing with and moved closer to the safety railing so he could get a closer view of the dance floor which was downstairs.

Hyungwon followed his gaze and moved closer too. “Is that who I think it is?”

Changkyun jumped a little from the realization that Hyungwon was now standing next to him. “Boy, you scared me! So if they're here at this club that means Shownu could've possibly seen them at the mall too, right?”

“Maybe he's not going crazy. What are the odds though? We keep ending up in weird situations with them.” Hyungwon couldn't figure out how this kept happening.

“Should we tell Shownu though?” Changkyun asked.

“Tell me what?” Shownu asked in confusion.

Changkyun jumped again from shock. “Y'all have got to stop sneaking up on me like this!”

Shownu laughed. “Why are you so jumpy tonight? Lay off the beer.”

“It's not the beer, trust me!” He responded as he hit Shownu's arm.

Shownu scanned the dance floor to try and see if he could figure out why they were near the rail just watching especially when they had beautiful women in VIP with them. “So you guys would rather stand over here by yourselves watching everyone else have a good time than dance with pretty girls? That's strange.”

“I just don't feel good right now. That's all.” Changkyun lied.

Shownu simply nodded. The other guys gathered with them.

“What's wrong? Everyone just disappeared out of nowhere.” Jooheon asked as he held the hand of one of the girls.

“Changkyun doesn't feel good.” Shownu answered.

Kihyun scrunched his face up. “You were literally just fine like two minutes ago!”

“Well now I'm not. It may be something I ate. I just needed to get away for a second that's all.”He replied in a snarky way.

Wonho's eyes widened. “I think I see Misun and Nori.”

Shownu and Jooheon both snatched their heads in his direction. “WHAT?”

Wonho pointed at the two women who were dancing in a group with guys and girls surrounding them. “I could spot them from a mile away. They stand out.”

Jooheon dropped the fan's hand quickly and started walking towards the exit of the VIP section.

Shownu grabbed his arm to stop him. “What are you doing!?”

“What do you mean? I'm going down there!” Jooheon answered him quickly with a bit of an attitude.

“Weren't you the one telling me to basically move on?” Shownu inquired.

Jooheon sighed. “Yeah but they're here and so are we. When destiny calls, you come running now let's go down there and see what's up!”

Shownu licked his lips a little. “You know we shouldn't do that. They both have our numbers and neither of them have reached out to us. That means they don't care and we shouldn't push it.”

“That's bull! You're scared of rejection. You can continue this night in fear but you'll be doing it alone!” Jooheon snatched his arm away.

“I'm not scared of rejection. We've already been rejected, Jooheon! I'm not putting myself out there anymore just to keep getting the same reaction. They're here in Seoul and we still haven't heard a peep from them so what does that tell you? It tells me that Misun just isn't that into me! Do yourself a favor and take my advice.” Shownu's voice escalated a little as he talked to Jooheon. He was frustrated. He walked away and sat back down on the couch.

Jooheon glanced back downstairs to try and find Nori and Misun. He noticed Nori looking up towards where they were. For a second he thought she may have seen them but he shook the thought away and drank the rest of his beer up. “I'm ready to go right now.” He told the guys.

[pastelcryptid]

I have to be honest I am somewhat continuously baffled by the emotional response to Tony as a father figure to Peter in a positive sense and don't understand why there isn't more criticism of his behaviour toward/involvement in Peter's life Despite what my reblogs might lead some to believe, I don’t hate Tony. But, Tony’s treatment of Peter is dangerous, irresponsible, neglectful and selfish.  When Tony first meets Peter, and recruits him for the airport fight, Peter is a child and Tony is an adult he doesn’t know. Who then blackmails him into fighting adults and perhaps most disturbingly lies to his guardian about where he’s taking him and why. Now obviously, we know Tony. We know he is - apart from some spectacular errors in judgement and wild hypocrisy - a good guy, with good intentions. However, we have information about Tony that most of the people in the MCU world do not have. We’ve seen him in his most intimate moments, and we know what his intentions are and demons are even when his friends don’t. We also know he’s not a child predator. But... let’s pretend we don’t know Tony. Look at this from May’s position. An adult male you don’t know basically spies on your nephew - who is a minor - blackmails him into getting involved in a volatile situation with a bunch of adults without fully informing him of the situation, lies to you about where he’s taking him and why. To make it stand out a bit more, imagine if Peter was an underage girl. Yes, Tony is famous. He’s known as Iron Man, he’s known as an Avenger and a philanthropist etc. But this wouldn’t be the first time someone who is supposed to protect others, who is charitable, is actually a bad guy. Yes, we know Tony is not a pedophile. But we are privy to information that the majority of people in the MCU are not. How would you feel about, essentially, your kid being carted off by some dude you don’t know who lied to you about it? Might you wonder what else he’s lying to you about? What right does he have to do this? Tony is an example of a rich, powerful man, using his status as a powerful man to encourage people - in this case A CHILD - to do what he wants and just expect people to be fine with it. He puts a child in danger pretty much for the sake of a family squabble when someone’s son getting killed because of the Avengers going where they wanted and doing what they wanted was the whole reason he went on the Accords guilt trip in the first place. And this is just the dangerous parts of his behaviour to a complete outsider’s point of view. If you move forward to Homecoming, he has now given Peter this incredibly dangerous piece of technology and now - after involving himself in this kid’s life - suddenly decides it’s not his job?? I guess?? to actually keep a proper eye on Peter and maybe teach him how to use it under supervision since Peter didn’t make it, so he doesn’t fully know what it’s capable of. And Tony must’ve had some inkling that Peter could be smart enough to “unlock” the suit, or at least consider it as a possibility.  And after complaining about how shitty and distant his own father was, Tony basically doesn’t communicate with Peter. He ignores his warnings, and when he actually decides to do something about it, he doesn’t tell Peter and just assumes Peter will magically know? And then he blames the resulting mess on Peter, like he didn’t just insert himself into this kid’s life, make him fight for his own benefit, giving him some super-tech and piss off. He then takes away Peter’s suit instead of... idk, actually engaging with him and teaching him how to handle these situations? And as a result, Peter tries to solve the problem without the suit (which Tony must’ve have suspected he could do, especially since he did the same thing, and unlike Peter he doesn’t even have super powers) and nearly dies. Then we have Infinity War. IW basically sets up - in such a clunky, handholdy way - that Tony wants to be a dad which, given Tony’s behaviour toward others and particularly other kids (remembering “Dads leave. No need to be a pussy about it” which he said to another, even younger boy he was a dodgy mentor to)  is absolutely Wild in my opinion. And it becomes clear that Peter is basically a child figure for him, given the way they hammer home his dusting at the end of the movie. Tony also spends most of this movie as a pretty reluctant mentor to Peter, acting exasperated when he realises that he’s still on the ship and basically acting fed up with him most of the time he’s there. Which is honestly... disturbing and irresponsible. This is a kid whose life HE got involved in, and it basically seemed like he wanted to use Peter for his own purposes and then not have to deal with him anymore. Is this a relationship we should really find sweet or be celebrating? Is this a man who is ready to have a child? Even if this cold-shouldering is because he’s actually concerned for Peter’s welfare, this is not the way you express that concern, especially with kids. At the end when Peter, for all appearances, dies, then suddenly it becomes this big emotional thing for Tony. Oh my god! He lost his fake son who he treated like shit! What good is it to have that affection after the fact, especially if you’re emulating a parent-child relationship? Also May - while she obviously wouldn’t know yet, might know at least that Peter is missing - who we can assume had to deal with taking an orphaned Peter in, and the death of her husband, now has had her nephew die on some planet and she doesn’t even know where he is. But instead we focus on Tony’s grief in this scenario? Fuck that.

[americanowrites]

All I Want

CHAPTER 6

“You pull on that dress one more time and I’ll throw my shoe at you,” Lauren yelled at me, I looked up to see her glaring at me in the mirror. She was stood playing around with her hair which she claimed looked terrible, all I could see were perfectly formed curls framing her perfectly contoured face, expert eye liner to match. She’d poured her body into a very tight fitting dress, one which created curves in places there weren’t any but still made her look slimmer than ever. I hated her slightly. “You look fine.”

Sometimes I look in the mirror and can’t see past the flaws staring back at me, the wideness of my jaw, my big lips, the dip in my nose. The double chin. I didn’t tend to look in full length mirrors, the flaws would be too long to list, but I knew my round tummy and thick thighs would be top of the list. There were big flashing red arrows pointing out everything wrong with me, constantly reminding me what was hideous about me, a daily reminder to hate myself.

“I don’t want to look fine.” I sighed, I knew what I looked like and I hated it. I felt like a whale and I looked like one, maybe even two.

“You look beautiful and that dress is gorgeous.” She continued to stare at me, whilst rolling lipstick over her already red lips. I looked away from her eyes and down at the dress. It was gorgeous, I’d give her that. It just didn’t mean it looked gorgeous on me. I kept hearing what those girls had said, seeing the looks they gave me whenever I looked in the mirror. I felt constantly sick whenever I thought about it and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. But I’d fallen in love with it instantly so bought it despite knowing it would look nicer if I lost a few pounds; the cream mesh fabric was see-through, giving a view of the material beneath. It actually complimented my pale skin instead of making me ghostly and self-conscious. The shimmery golden flowers dotted on the mesh give it more of a party feel, I just prayed I would fit in amongst all the designer dresses and shoes. I’d stuck with nude wedges, a choice I was sure to regret. I was tempted to just go in flats but both Lauren and Lucy would refuse to let me leave the house in flats. Lauren had already made a comment about being shocked I wasn’t in Vans.

“What time’s Tom getting here?”

“Ten minutes ago,” Lauren sighed, finally happy with her appearance she turned away from the mirror. “He text saying he’s on his way, but I’m not sure.”

“London traffic is a nightmare.”

“Sticking up for Tom, whatever next?”

“I’m pointing out fact.”

“Can I ask you a question?” she put down the lipstick she was playing around with, turning her full attention to me.

“Sure.” I tried to sound confident, but the look in her eye was making me feel quite nauseous.

“Just… what’s going on with you and Harry?” she glanced away, clearly not as confident in her questioning as she seemed.

“Nothing,” she cocked her head, not believing me. “Honestly, we’re friends. I think. I really don’t get why everyone is so weird about it. Can’t we be friends?” we were friends because I wasn’t stupid enough to think anything else would ever happen. I mean, he’s Harry Styles and I’m me. I didn’t make boys look twice, I didn’t turn heads and I wasn’t the type of girls boys dreamed about. I couldn’t attract attention from normal, non-famous boys I saw every day, so what hope did I have of ever attracting the eye of Harry Styles?

“Of course, I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Why would I get hurt?” I sat on the bed, my feet were already stating ache, as was my head.

“His life is different… difficult.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Honestly why is everyone acting like I don’t know who he is? I’m well aware of who Harry Styles is. I can handle it.”

“Okay, fine. Just be careful.”    

“Girls!” Lucy’s voice came from across the hall, she’d been in the kitchen pretending to cook but I knew she’d been trying to listen to our conversation. She had also been quizzing Lauren on Harry and me, trying to find anything out. She refused to believe that we were just friends. Apparently girls and boys couldn’t be friends.

“What?”

“Come here, don’t shout April.” I groaned and rolled my eyes, she was just shouting and now suddenly it was acceptable. Lauren laughed before strolling from my bedroom, taking her clutch with her, our conversation suddenly forgotten. I looked around making sure I had everything before following her.

“What?” I found her and Lauren at the breakfast bar, drinks in hand. “Why are you drinking champagne?” I frowned, as I watched Lucy pour me a glass, the bubbles shooting up the sides of the glass made it look like a bath bomb.

“Because you’re about to go to a celebrity party, I’m sure the champagne will be better than this, but at least you’ll be slightly accustomed to it.”

“Harry isn’t really the champagne type.” I accepted the glass she held out, I’d had champagne before, but I never liked it. It had an odd taste and I’m not sure why it was such a beloved drink.

“I imagine he is. Just imagine the stuff he drinks, probably treats Moet like bottled water.” Lauren replied, I frowned at her, wondering where that image of Harry had come from.

“You know Harry’s not like that. He drank Corona with me.” He seemed pleased with the drink I bought him the other day, and he’d drunk it all.

“Because he thinks he needs to act like a student to get you to like him. You’ll see a different side to him tonight. Guaranteed,” She gulped down her flute, looking the opposite of ladylike. I was about to reply when the intercom buzzed. “Thank god for that.” Lauren sprang around the door and picked up the phone, like she lived here. Lucy laughed before coming over to me as I listened to Lauren yelling at Tom.

“Have a good time and please enjoy yourself. Remember Harry wants you there.” She rubbed my arms and squeezed slightly, before Lauren stuck her head around the corner.

“We need to go; he’s having a bitch fit about the cab fare.” She rolled her eyes. “See you later Lucy Lu!”

“Bye, look after each other.” She told us as we reached the door. “If David Beckham turns up, send him over.”

*                            

We had to sign in. There was a register. We didn’t even have those at uni for our classes. Yet Harry had one at his birthday party. There were also two security men at the door and one inside, they looked a bit scary with their frowns and black clothing, but I guess they were meant to. Tom found it hilarious, saying how he remembered him having a party at the local children’s restaurant and it being odd that we were now at a private members club in Mayfair having to sign in to a party. Lauren mumbled something about it being pretentious and over the top. But I knew it was a precaution that needed to be in place, especially after seeing the men outside all stood around waiting for someone photo worthy walking past. We’d been ignored, thankfully but it didn’t stop them from taking good long looks at us, assessing us and our monetary value.    

The party was on the second floor, but the music was booming throughout the building, the bass making the floorboards jolt and shake. It wasn’t the music I knew Harry listened to, but The 1975 were hardly party friendly, instead chart hits and EDM seemed to be the DJs choice.  Lauren trailed behind Tom and I as we made our way upstairs, she was already complaining about her feet hurting and neither of us had any sympathy.

“Hurry up Lauren.” Tom called over his shoulder at her.

“If you were a gentleman, you’d come and help your girlfriend.”

“If you were capable of thinking, you’d have thought about this scenario.”

“Sorry I presumed there wouldn’t be stairs; blame the popstar, not me. I’m gonna give him hell when I see him.”

“Shut up the pair of you.” I snapped, they’d done nothing but bicker all the way here, about Tom’s lateness, the traffic, their present for Harry. Everything. I was about ready to push them both down the stairs.

We rounded a corner and came face to face with an open door and another security man. This one looked friendlier.

“Hi,” I smiled at him, he returned the smile before smirking at Lauren, who came up behind us huffing and puffing. “Don’t mind her; she’s just not used to exercise.” The man laughed before gesturing for our hands. He held out a stamp, and pressed it to my skin. It left a big red H on my hand, just like something you’d get in a club. I moved my brows in question.

“In case you need to go outside for a fag break. We can let you back in,” He stamped Tom and Lauren before moving away from the door. “In you go. Harry’s over in the corner.”

 The room was dark, very dark, the only light coming from the flashing lights. Strobes of red, blue, orange moved across the walls, in a deliberate attempt to make you feel drunker. It was packed, I had expected a small party but there looked to be over a hundred people crowded into the room. Except it wasn’t really a room, it did look like a club, the floor was tiled and shiny, but lacked the traditional stickiness found in clubs. And there was a full length bar to the left of me, with a wall of alcohol and glasses.

“Is it a free bar? I hope it is.” Lauren yelled at the side of me, the music made it hard to hear much. I couldn’t even recognise the song it was so loud.

“I think he said it was.” Tom replied, slipping his hand onto her waist and pulling her over to the bar. They left me stood in the middle of the room looking around me, not knowing what to do, where to go or who to talk to.

“You look a little lost,” A voice boomed in my ear after a few moments of panic, a blush spreading across my cheeks at the proximity of the stranger and the feeling of breathe against my hair. To my right staring at me, was mound of hair and brown eyes. Nick Grimshaw, I forgot him and Harry were friends. I started failing, my mouth opening and closing as Nick assessed me with a smirk on his face.  “You are meant to be here right?” I nodded, my mouth snapping closed. “What’s your name?”

“April.” I stuttered out, my blush deepening at my hideous display. I had no idea why I was acting like this, why I seemed to be starstruck. He talked on the radio; I didn’t even listen to him.

“Ah, yeah I know you. Harry’s over here.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the mass of bodies, calling out greetings as he passed people. I tightened my grip on the parcel in my hand. The present I’d bought for Harry suddenly feeling a ton heavier as regret set when the people thinned out and I caught a glimpse of a pile of presents in the corner. “Look who I found!” Nick yelled again, stopping us from walking. I looked around his body to see Harry snap his head towards Nick, his mouth opening in question before his eyes found mine. His face transformed from blank to a heartbreakingly wide smile in a second, making his dimples indent, eyes crinkle and my heart thump.

“April!” He jumped off his seat, the brown haired girl next to him grunting as he stumbled over her legs and bounded over to me. Nick managed to drop my hand and move away before Harry encased me in a tight hug.

My heart kicked up its tempo, my arms automatically circling his waist, the buckle of his belt digging into my stomach as he squeezed me. We’d never hugged before so I wasn’t prepared for the assault on my emotions and nose. I didn’t really know how to respond, I wasn’t a hugger and my heart and belly were both jumping and jolting about.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Harry mumbled into my hair, his voice sending a tickle throughout my body. Despite the loud music and talking, I had no trouble hearing him.

 “I said I’d be here.” I rubbed my free hand up and down his back, the fabric of his shirt moving against my hand and the hardness of his muscles making my palms sweat.

“I know. But I did wonder,” He laughed and pulled away, his cheeks slightly pink. I wanted to reach up and touch the pieces of his hair falling into his eyes, but he lifted a hand from my waist and shoved his whole fringe above his head before I had chance to embarrass myself. “Are Tom and Lauren here?” He looked over my head, pointlessly searching for them in the sea of people.

“They found the bar. And I hope it’s an open one, or Lauren will be pissed.”

“Won’t she be pissed anyway?” I laughed at his joke. “Come and meet people! I’m so happy you’re here,” If he didn’t stop saying that, I may collapse. He dropped his hold on my waist, but slipped his hand into mine, our fingers entwined. My heart twisting and tightening as we moved towards a table full of people. We were holding hands and I wasn’t sure why but I liked it.

“Guys this is April. She’s the genius I told you about; she’s also very funny, total mastermind when it comes to films and music and she looks extra pretty tonight.” I blushed at his introduction, looking down at my feet, making sure to suck in my stomach as a series of chuckles emitted from the people sat around the table. I quickly glanced at the faces, recognising no one, apart from Nick. At least I had time to prepare for the celebrities; if I knocked back a few beers it might not be so bad. “April, this is Sam, Lou, Ben, Tom and the girl sat sending me evil daggers is Gemma.” He pointed to the girl he’d been sat next too; she stuck her tongue out at him before smiling at me.

“I’m his big sister, so any concerns about his behaviour please direct them to me and I’ll pass them along to our mother. He’s already slightly drunk, so excuse any funny business.” She had a deeper voice than I would have imagined, but the sibling resemblance was uncanny. She was Harry with long hair.

“I am not drunk, ignore her, she’s telling lies.” Harry told me, pouting his lips and shaking his head, my heart stammered at how cute he looked.

“I love your dress.” A high voice on my left turned my attention away from Harry’s eyes and lips. I saw a girl with grey and blue hair looking at me, a smile on her lips. I thought for a moment before remembering she was called Sam.

“Thank you.” I smiled; glad my outfit fit in with her choice of a black shift and combat boots. “It’s very pretty. Have I said that before?” Harry chuckled next to me, he really was drunk.

“Come and sit down April. Tell us all about being a genius.” Gemma called to me over the table, patting the seat next to her. I squeezed Harry’s hand and let go, moving towards his sister in a rare flash of bravery. I normally had to be forced to talk to new people, hence why I still had the same best friend I did at eight, but these people were smiling and with Harry watching me I was able to paint on my courage.

“She’s mine Gemma; you’ve stolen enough of my friends. Find your own.”

“Zip it. Go and get the girl a drink,” Harry dramatically flapped his arms around before turning towards the bar, gently pushing his way past a snogging couple. “So, tell us about yourself April.” The whole table turned and looked at me, my cheeks flushed at the attention. I looked down, pulling my dress, covering my legs with the short fabric.

“Um. I don’t really know what to say.” I tried to smile, but I think it came out wrong, my courage all but vanishing. Why did Harry have to leave me alone with strangers?

“What do you do?” I looked at the man who asked the question, I think he was called Ben. He looked older than the others, a beard covered his lower face, his eyes looked kind and genuine.

“I’m at uni, in Leeds.”

“Leeds, we’re from Hull,” I turned my head and caught the eye of Lou, as she pointed to between herself and Sam. “And Tom.” She pointed at the man next to Ben; he was itching at a tattoo on his crowded arm, the inking’s twisting and morphing as he moved.

“I’ve been to Hull fair before.” I didn’t really know what else to say, so I pulled out the only thing I knew about the place.

“Hull fair is ace; we take Lux every year.” Tom told me, I knew from the fandom that Lux was a baby Harry was often with. I suddenly remembered seeing Lou’s face before; I’d seen her in photos of the boys.

“You’re the band’s hairdresser aren’t you?” I asked Lou, she smiled at me, not at all startled by my sudden question.

“I am. Not that they ever let me do any hairdressing. I do their makeup too.”

“Makeup?” I couldn’t help but smirk, the idea of the boys sat in chairs getting powder pressed to their cheeks was hilarious.

“Harry isn’t as flawless as he claims; he needs a lot of help.” Gemma replied, dragging a laugh from my lips. It felt extremely bizarre to be sat with the people Harry cared about, people who knew every side of him. I crazily felt like I actually fit in with these people.  

“Yeah he does think he’s pretty awesome.” I replied, this time causing her to laugh.

“I like you; clearly you’re immune to his charm offence. It’s lovely to find someone like that.” I laughed, not wanting to admit that I was putty in his hands and he didn’t even have to try and charm me.”

“The same can’t be said for my sister. I think she fell in love with him.”

“He’s met your sister?” Gemma’s brows lifted up her forehead, they were perfectly plucked and shaped.

“Yeah, last night.”

“Where?” Her tone had changed to serious, she wasn’t joking anymore.

“I went for dinner with Lucy and her boyfriend and Harry showed up. He said he was eating alone so he joined us.” Gemma frowned at my answer and I felt like I’d given her the wrong answer.

“Have you heard this?” The rest of the table had started their own conversations, but turned back to Gemma. “Harry was with April and her sister last night.” Her tone held a note of disbelief. Tom and Ben both laughed.

“Why do I feel like I shouldn’t have said that?” I asked the table, causing Tom to laugh louder.

“Because that little shit had dinner plans with us and he cancelled, said had band stuff to do, something about the Brits. I can’t believe him.” Gemma sounded mad and looked ready to knock his head off.

“I’m sorry. He said he was alone or I wouldn’t have let him stay.” I can’t believe Harry cancelled on his sister and friends, to stay and eat dinner with me, Lucy and her freaky boyfriend.

“It’s not your fault, April.” Lou told me, reaching across and tapping my hand.

“He’s such a shit,” Gemma was sat fuming. “Why lie? It was his bloody idea.”

“Gemma, don’t say anything tonight, wait until tomorrow at least. He needs tonight.”

“He needs a slap.”

“Who needs a slap?” Harry’s timing was incredible, the table turned to look at Gemma, fearing she was about to blow.

“David Cameron, I mean he’s policies are just stupid.” She gave him a seamless answer, the lie falling easily. Harry gave her a funny look, not fully buying her response but he let it go as he slid a glass towards me.

“I didn’t know what to get, so I got you a long island iced tea. Lauren said you liked them.” Harry smiled and pulled out a chair opposite me.

“Thanks.” I smiled back before taking a sip of the drink. I did like long islands, but I knew I wouldn’t be having another one tonight, my eyes nearly watering at the strength of it.

“So have you had an interrogation?” He picked up his glass; the liquid was clear so it could have been anything.

“Not at all, they’ve been very nice. I hear you like to wear makeup.” Harry took a drink at the same moment I spoke; he coughed at my mention of makeup and sent liquid flying around the table.

“Smooth.” Gemma laughed at my side, as did the whole table. Harry’s cheeks turned pink and he scowled at his friends.

“I do not wear makeup.” Harry stared at me, deadly serious.

“Oh hun, the makeup bag I have at home with your name superimposed on it, would suggest you’re lying.”

“Shut up Lou!”

“Stop lying Harry!” They sat making faces at each other; acting more like brother and sister than work colleagues “I need a drink if I’m gonna deal with you all night, nice of you to offer your other guests a drink Harry.”

“You know where the bar is, you have functioning legs,” He coolly replied, which caused Tom to whoop from across the table. Lou stood up, glaring at her boyfriend, Sam and Gemma followed her lead, pushing their way past the boys around the table. I watched as they pushed their way into the crowd and felt Harry drop down at my side. “Hi.” He grinned at me.

“Hey, happy birthday!”  

“Thank you very much. I spy something… Dare I ask if it’s for me?” He wriggled his eyebrows at the parcel I still had clutched in my hand, excitement colouring his voice.

“You dare and it is for you. I kinda feel I should warn you not to expect much.”

“I didn’t expect anything, so I’m already happy.”

“That is such a cliché answer. Everyone expects presents on their birthday.”

“True and I’m secretly bursting with excitement about the pile I’ve got forming over there. It’s huge and I’m a child.” I laughed and handed him the gift, I’d wrapped it in pink shiny foil paper and topped it with a purple bow.

“Love the paper. Very manly.”

“Says the guy in the heart shirt.” I eyeballed his button up, the dark shirt was littered with white love hearts and it honestly looked like something a woman would wear. “Did your mother lend you that?”

“Yeah, cos I haven’t heard that before. It’s Burberry. Men’s.” He added.

“Just because it’s Burberry, doesn’t excuse it.” I secretly loved the shirt, it made him look very cute and the dark fabric complimented his skin tone perfectly.

“Whatever, you’re as bad as Gemma. She didn’t stop laughing for an hour after she saw me.” He was running his fingers over the present, in an attempt to figure out what it was.

“I wish I could say the paper was a joke, but it was the only stuff I had and I’m tight so I wasn’t buying another roll.” Harry laughed before sticking a finger into a gap and ripping the paper off, he wasn’t one to save the paper, though he had removed the bow and stuck it in his shirt pocket. He stared at the gift before cracking up, rolling his head back.

“I hope you aren’t suggesting I need this?” He waved the book about.

“Take it any way you wish.” I took another sip of my drink; the ice had diluted the alcohol slightly.

“You know I’m going to be bombarding you with jokes now. I might instate a daily joke service. How do you feel about daily texts?”

“I’ll block your number.”

“You love my jokes. Everyone does.”

“Did you miss the part where I bought you a joke book? I really recommend you read it. ASAP.”

“Whatever, I’m so underappreciated,” he huffed, leaning back against the back of the chair, before throwing himself forward again, his face looming close to mine. I could see the tiny wisps of hair dotting his upper lip. “Thank you very much April. It is the best present I’ve ever had.” He placed a kiss against my cheek, holding it for a few seconds while my heart clattered about before blowing against my skin, the smarting of fine hair on his chin and the vibration both resulting in a series of high pitched squeals from me.

“Harry!” I screeched at his move, feeling a patch of spit on my cheek. I lifted his arm using it to wipe against the wet patch he’d left. Harry was dying with laughter his entire face bright red as he howled, people sending us curious glances while Harry struggled to breathe.

“Your face was a picture!” His whole face was scrunched up in glee, a sight that had my own lips twitching.

“You’re a dick.” I crossed my arms, trying my best to imitate the pouted lips he wore so well.

“Oh come on, smile.” He poked my side, causing me to jump. He then did it again and again, until a laugh escaped.

“Stop it!” I coughed out between giggles.

“Never!” He yelled through a roll of laughter, jabbing me a few more times before we both heard a cough. “Niall!” Harry bellowed, holding his arms out to his bandmate, leaving me breathless and nursing my aching ribs.

Niall Horan was stood looking at me, his eyes were glued on me, the bright blue colour visible even in the dark room, roaming over my face, taking me in. his intensity was causing me to blush. Again.  

“ ’Sup, who’s ya pal?” He nodded at me, dropping a wink in my direction, his eyes locking on mine.

“This is April Summers.” Harry slid an arm around my shoulders. An exchange seemed to take place between Harry and Niall, a silent conversation told with their eyes.

“April Summers, lovely to meet you. I’m Niall.” He said my name with a hint of familiarity and came so close to me, his eyes blurred in my vision, before leaning down and kissing my cheek.

“Hi, Niall.” I smiled as he leant back up. He looked a lot younger than in photos; his baby soft face and bright blue eyes gave him a youthful and naïve appearance.

“Liam’s around somewhere, I lost him by the models.” Niall shrugged, not seeming to care about his friend as he laughed. I was certain Liam had a girlfriend but I wasn’t about to question it.

“Where’s my present?” Harry asked Niall, necking back a drink that seemed to appear from nowhere.

“In the shop,” Niall reached across for my drink, not asking before he took a sip. He cringed at the taste. “That tastes like shit.” He pushed the drink back to me; I definitely wasn’t drinking it now it had his germs all over it.

“I know.” I told him, hearing a gasp from Harry.

“What? I thought you liked it.” He looked wounded, his smile disappearing as his eyes and lips doubled in size.  His pout was painful.  

“I do normally, it’s just very strong and I’d like to be able to remember how to walk.”

“You should have said, I’d have gotten you something else. Have mine,” He lifted the glass to me, before realising it was empty, his face dropping as he turned back to me. “I’ll go get another one.” He made a move to stand up, but stopped when Niall held his hand up.

“I’ll go mate, I need one too. What you having?” He asked me with a smile on his face.

“Corona please.”

“Coming up mi ’lady.” He dropped another wink, making Harry create a retching noise and making me jab my elbow at him. Niall ignored him and sauntered off towards the bar.

“I’ll have to keep an eye on him.” I heard Harry mumble, but I ignored him and watched the partygoers throw themselves around the room, the hits of the past years ringing through their veins.

Harry sat with his head ducked, flipping through the pages of the joke book, I heard a soft snigger when he landed on a page near the back.

“Don’t tell me, it’s actually funny.”

“What's a frog's favourite drink?”

“Oh god.”

“Croaka Cola!” the grin stretched across his face was adorable, making up for the atrocious joke.

“That book was supposed to make your jokes better!”

“That joke is brilliant!”

“A frog could actually think of a better one.”

“Debatable. Wouldn’t tell em like I can.” My heart stammered when he dropped a wink at me. I found myself staring at him for a few moments before I could speak again.

“W-what else did you get?”

“Gem got me a jacket, Lou got me a photo of Lux and me, put it in a frame Lux decorated and mum and Robin got me a camera.”

“You a photographer now?”

“Nah, not yet, wanna start taking more photos though. I see so much but don’t really see it too. Ya know?”

“Yeah,” I knew his life was full of touring amazing places but I also knew what fans were like, I was a part of the fandom, I saw the mobbing at airports and outside hotels, it wasn’t easy for any of the boys and Harry always seemed to have it worse. “You should make it a thing; try something new in every place you go. Like Strudel in Berlin or Churros in Mexico. Though you’ve probably had both of those, you can get Churros on bloody Oxford Street.”

“I had some at Chimichanga once, never from Oxford Street.”

“There’s a really awesome place called Seven, it’s in Brixton so a bit far out but the Churros are to die for and I want to bathe in the chocolate sauce.” Harry was staring at me while I spoke, probably shocked by my passion for Churros, the little smile on his face sending my blood pressure sky high.

“That good? We’ll have to good sometime. Think I can brave a trip to Brixton.”

“Once you’ve had them, you’ll walk a million miles for them. guaranteed.” My voice didn’t betray, didn’t let Harry hear how ecstatic I was about the idea of making plans with him, that we could take a road trip across the river and get lost in South London while stuffing our faces with sugary bites of heaven and singing along to our favourite bands. It was stupid to think it would happen, but I couldn’t stop the image lodging itself in my head.  

***

I was drunk. My ears were fuzzy, like someone had stuffed cotton wool in them, and I was swaying. My eyes were also starting to tingle and blur at the sides. It was my own fault, so I had no right to complain about the hangover I could feel fermenting. I’d only drunk so much so I could try and get through the night, but my body didn’t seem to care about that, it was determined to punish me. I’d started necking back the shots when the stripper walked in, a women supposedly dressed as a police officer, had stormed in, demanding to speak to whoever’s party it was. Harry had shit himself, actually believing the woman as she sat him down and told him how naughty he’d been.

Of course it was all fake, it took Harry a little longer than necessary to realise, and in that time the women had shred her top and unbuttoned her trousers. Nick had bought Harry a stripper as a present, the whole room was in stitches, watching and snapping photos as Harry tried to cover his eyes and his cheeks burned, the grin never dropping from his face. If he hadn’t held my hand earlier and if I wasn’t so completely besotted with him when I had no reason to be, then I might have found it funny too. Instead I’d found it devastating, seeing everyone ogle her perfectly toned and curved body, while the grin on Harry’s face slowly killed me. He hadn’t touched, but only because he knew it was being filmed, I’m sure he wanted to.

I’d just thrown another vodka down my throat, contemplating how I could leave without saying goodbye when I felt fingers touch my back, before they slid around my front, encasing my against a firm body. The shiver down my spine alerted me to who it was.

“Come dance with me.” His words were slurred, tumbling together; he was as drunk as me, if not more. He didn’t phrase it as a question, more of a demand, but we both knew I’d never say no. He didn’t wait for my response, before pulling me backwards and further into him, our bodies pressed together in ways I’d only dreamed of. Holding me against his side, an arm still glued to my waist we walked into the mass of bodies; blending in under the dark lighting and the drunken swaying bodies.

He spun me around, a little too roughly for my suffering head, but all that vanished when our chests collided. I could feel his heart beating, the fast thud radiating into my own chest, mixing with my heartbeat. It felt like our hearts wanted to leap from our chests, given a chance, I knew mine would. It would leave me and run straight to him, where it was beginning to build a home.

He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my lower body closer to him, every deliberate move made me feel more and more lightheaded. We were flush from head to toe; his belt buckle was digging into my stomach again, I could feel every part of him. Slipping my hands up his arms, revelling in the bumps and curves of him before locking my hands around his neck, I could feel his pulse practically quicken as we settled in our position. A few strands of his hair tickled my fingers, the soft curls slightly damp from the warm room, moved around my fingers. He started to slowly move us from side to side, swaying us. The music had calmed down, the heavy bass replaced with a soft, lulling Ben Howard song that seemed to float around us. Our foreheads moved towards each other, him having to bend down to reach mine, before our clammy skin touched. I never wanted to move again.

His spread his hands across my lower back, and with his long fingers holding me tight and close, I felt safer than I’d ever felt before. He slipped a hand inside the opening between the lace and slip of my dress; the heat of his hands easily seeping through the material, warming me to my core. I shivered, seeing a smile move across his face, transforming his features. He knew his effect on me.  

Our eyes moved slowly to each other, both of us drinking in the sight of the other, my eyes roaming over his broad shoulders, the long expanse of his neck, his perfectly formed jaw bone. I could look at him forever and never get bored. Another shiver ran through me when I finally reached his eyes, finding them waiting for mine, the green I’d seen in photos for the past three years, would never match up to how they looked in real life. So many colours ran together, swirls of browns and dark greens, which no camera would ever capture it and I was so thankful for that. He pressed against my back, trying to get us closer, the roughness of his jeans against my bare legs only heightening the sensation. Our eyes didn’t stray as he moved his face towards me, lips slightly pursed, the gap between us closely quickly.

It was mere seconds before our noses touched, sliding against each other before slotting perfectly together. He stopped moving. I could feel his breath against my tingling lips, I wanted to move but I was frozen. I needed him to move. It was agonising. He grinned before moving again, slower. Painfully slow. Our lips ghosted over each other, barely touching. I barely registered the slight ridges of his chapped skin, before he pressed his plump, full lips against mine. My eyes closed and my head moved backwards, the force of his movement taking me by surprise. Our lips moving together instantly moved against one another, both of us battling for dominance. I curled my fingers around his hair, feeling him groan against my lips. His reaction had us both smiling against the others lips, the pressure never once wavering.

My heart was about to explode from my chest, when he forced my lips open, a blast of hot air hitting my throat. I gasped, unable to breathe fully as he gently nibbled my lower lip. His grip was the only thing keeping me from collapsing; I’d lost all feeling in my legs. I tightened my grip on his hair, scratching my nails against his scalp as he touched my lip with his tongue. I felt like I was on fire. Every inch of my body craved more. His tongue moved teasingly slowly over my lip, before it touched my own. A jolt ran through my body, I wanted to be closer to him, I needed to be closer. I was desperate for air, swallowing his breathes as I attempted to catch my own.

He groaned again, the sound vibrating around my mouth. We’d stopped swaying but he started to attempt walking backwards, out of the crowd I’d forgotten about. Our bodies collided with other guest; he let out a moan into my mouth.  My eyes shot open, seeing his still closed, our mouths still moving together. I unwound my fingers from his hair and moved my arms down his chest, his heart still pounding. His eyes fluttered open, the green colour gone, replaced by his black pupils. I dragged my lips away, wanting to savour the feel I knew I’d never experience again. I gently pressed against his chest, separating our entwined bodies. The flash of confusion at my sudden distance nearly floored me.

“What’s wrong?” His was low; stirring something in me I wanted to squash.

“We can’t.” I shook my head, withdrawing my hands from him, the beat of his heart doing nothing to slow mine or clear my head.

“April. I want to.” He sighed my name; I closed my eyes, loving the way it sounded against his lips. I needed to get away before I welded our lips together again.

“No. You don’t. You’re drunk. I’m drunk. I’m going to go.” I took a step away from him; he followed immediately, closing the space again.

“Don’t go. Stay. Please.” His pleas were killing me as his hand grappled for mine. I didn’t let him entwine our fingers again. I knew he wouldn’t remember this in the morning. I would. I’d remember it forever. It would torture me.

“I don’t want to. Just let me go please. ” Something flashed across his eyes, I couldn’t tell what it was, but it destroyed me. I stepped away again, this time he made no attempt to follow. He let him arms fall against his sides, looking utterly defeated. I couldn’t even force a smile, before I spun on my feet and ran away.  

 She was at his birthday party. Fuck

Arry is real

I hate her

She’s so fat.

That dress looked ready to burst

Harry was so fucked he probs didn’t know she was there

She looks so rough in that photo gemma posted

What does harry see in her

[livingwithmyimaginaryfriend]

6 Things I Currently Hate on the Internet 😠😤😡🤬

These topics based on the internet that i have observed for many years including pop culture. Anyway, those are just my personal thoughts that may find to be “TRIGGERING”

1. Tik tok

Tik tok is one of the most popular apps in the end 2010s. It looks similar like Musica.ly Everytime when i watch this stupid shit compilation like dance, challenge or viral on Twitter, Instagram and Youtube, it makes me cringe all the time. The majority of tik tok users what i have seen are kids and teenagers or even called Gen Z.  I really don't understand why they are become famous because of tik tok like dance inappropiately frequently for underage, unfunny jokes, etc. even though they come from nothing. I also have a friends, and cousins who have a tik tok, then upload that video through Instagram stories, but sorry i don't watch it because i'm not interested, so i just skip it.

Thank god I don’t have a Tik Tok because i am absolutely loathe this app, and don’t want get into make the content such as challange (i.e. emo, barbie girl), and cringy dance to get a viral and views. When i make that content, it feels like i’m living with the wrong generation. (Whoops)

2. Social Justice Warrior (SJW)

This is the most atrocious I have ever seen in my entire life. It appears on Twitter. eveytime i scroll timeline on Twitter, it is full of anger, war, hatred, debate, and drama. Mostly, people tweet about religion, culture, feminism, politics, economics, and viral gone wrong. But OMG, most of the time, they're completely not constructive criticsm. It's like they don't want to be accepted or don't appreciate and scramble their opinion with somebody else. Of course, they treat their opinions as a facts. Then, i'll be like "fuck them, you need to find your hobby and stop making a war with somebody else that you don't know that person on Twitter". Of course, SJW needs to get a life and log out Twitter, so don't be outrageous.

3. Cancel Culture

When i pop up in my head, cancel culture be like “you’re cancelled”. Cancel culture is like especially for public figures including celebrities, influencers and politicians are exposed problematic to make a statements like homophobic/transphobic, assault cases, allegations, body-shaming, slut-shaming racist jokes, rape jokes, playing victims, supporting each other that people dislike, and many more whether in the past or present. When it comes out that problematic, eveybody rants them which is true or not, and then use that term “cancelled” or hashtag #isoverparty in Twitter to avoid public figures to stop being act so innoncent. It’s very fucked up for me Not only that, but also it’s so annoying if everbody says “you’re cancelled”. If  i was public figure for being called “cancelled”, i feel like i want to go  jump off the cliff and never want to see that term again. 

4. Beauty Standards

There are people mostly girls when you were born being ugly and insecure, you want to be perfect and glamorous like celebrities, and models on advertisement, magazine and Instagram. In Asian country especially my country, Indonesia,  there are so many beauty standards like for girls, like  you have to be fair skin, straight hair, curve body but not super skinny. And then, you don’t have to wear fully makeup like a clown, you have to look stay natural and glowing face without a makeup, for example wear a skincare. In contrast, if you have a dark/brown skin and curly hair, people probably think that you look ugly, trash, and stink. It shit happening, trust me. I mean, the majority of Indonesian people have natural brown and yellow skin, so  if they want to be fair skin like western people, they have to use skin whitening for face and body to make look bright. 

But not only that, in western country like US and UK, i found that they want to have full lips like lip filler, huge ass and tits from implants, tan skin by using a spray/lotion tan although white people’s skin are pale, botox, flat abs from liposuction, and skinny like Victoria Secret’s model or curvy like Beyonce, Rihanna and Nicki Minaj.

Besides that, another Asian country like South Korea, i found that mostly celebrities like boy/girlbands. and actors have had a plastic surgery to make look famous. There also found that korean people want to be super skinny like kpop idols, They should follow strict diet. And then, they want to have a light skin by using a skin whitening, they want to make a glowing face with using a skincare which is booming in korea. And don’t forget, they have to wear a full makeup, so they look more beautiful. In korean culture, their parents want to children to get a plastic surgery as a gifts if they have a good grades. Basically, korean people were born to be ugly face, so they have to get plastic surgery like make a doube eyelids, a big rounded eyes, a pointed nose. a v-shaped chin,and a slim jaw.

The reason why i hate is because it makes me feel more insecure, worthless and uncomfortable with my own skin. I just want to no longer follow their society like beauty standards. Beauty standard is should be not existed. It needs to go away, and needs to be stopped. I mean everybody looks beautiful not for me, but to all of you. Everybody need to be beautiful not only the outside but also the inside. You don't have to follow that standards including beauty that would be necessary cool, i promise.

I have to admit, my skin tone medium, not too fair or too dark. I am still using whitening lotion to exfoliate and to remove sunburn. Then, my face look chubby and i have a double chin, i wear a glasses. i have a fat tummy even though i am not a chunky not very slim. i have a hairy hands, armpits, stomach and legs. My mom won’t let me shave them because they will grow someday. 

5. Instagram vs Reality 

When i follow account including @Celebface, and @exposingcelebsurgery. I observed that comparing with celebrities, models, and influencers’ real photos or fake with using photoshop. Instagram VS Reality is absolutely garbage. Take a look at celebs’ photo everywhere with full editing like face,hips,ass, etc to make look professional.But in reality, they look different not  look like which is totally catfishing. Sadly, the cringiest part is there is analyze the angle with the wrong well-shaped. I mean when you look at the view of the background, you can see the curve appears that seems unprofessional, that is what i called failed photoshop. 

I don’t mean to blame photoshop, but it is so overused. The reason why i don’t like this is because it is full of manipulative for celebrities, models and influencer to make it look sexier than real life.  It makes me want to delete my instagram account and never want to see that again. 

6. Toxic fandoms in music community

Be a fandom is fun, and wonderful .But Hey!  Look at my Tumblr, Weheartit, and Pinterest, i have so many photos which include my favorite bands or actors. I’m also huge fan of the band particularly, rock bands and K-pop idols. 

However, sometimes being fandom is being toxic, overly defensive, and delusional.  The reason why i called toxic fandoms is because mostly they are intolerable, immature and annoying. Oh yeah, the similarity of toxic fandoms is called crazy stans. For example,when someone (hater or not) dislike an idol or band, crazy stans started trolling like send a death threats like “hope you get chocked”, "hope you'll die", “you need to go fuck yourself”, and many more. Also, when someone being called a fake fan because they know one or two songs on the radio or TV, they don’t like idols’ new song which is totally different then or support their relationship go public. Otherwise, they are very disrespectful with their idols' privacy, such as stalking at their house or hotel for almost 24 hours. PRIVACY IS A MUST. IDOLS ARE JUST HUMAN BEING. And you know the worst part is that when an idol is dead, they are extremely freak the hell out, they tend to commit suicide which is really dangerous so they want to meet their idol in afterlife. 

Based on my thoughts, being a fan with your favorite idol is the most precious thing. I would love to be a fans with the bands/idols but i don't want get involved be part of crazy stans. Like i said, they are not intolerable and delusional.

That's the end of my writing about six things that i hate. You may think that after you read this, you'll be like "damn, you're so hater, you're so jealous, and you're so bitter". Ugh shut up.