#vi has insomnia

[vivi-ships]

I hate having the kind of mental illness that makes me stay up all night on my phone desperately chasing the dopamine. Is it insomnia? Yes. Is it severe executive dysfunction paired up with my escapist behaviors and desire to have quiet time alone where I'm not being perceived? Also yes. It is nearly 9am, somebody put me down. (To bed or to death, at this point I'll accept either.)

[aitadjcrazytimes]

Hi, I saw your tags:

I was wondering. Um. Would you be comfortable sharing what other symptoms you have?

I've had memory problems for years but every time I look them up I just get stuff like alzheimers and car crashes and stuff, which doesnt apply. Idk

I was wondering if this might be me also. I'll talk to a doctor, of course, but. Just wondering what the general vibe is

Sure! Though, be aware, if you Can get evaluated for your symptoms you probably should, at least to make sure it isn't degenerative.

Via-a-vis the ABI (That's Acquired Brain Injury), part of the reason it took so long to diagnose is because

I already have a different diagnosis of cEDS (Classical Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) that explained several of my other symptoms

I have GAD and PTSD due to living in a very abusive and dangerous environment up until about 5 months ago, and

At least two of my family members are autistic, so it was just kind of vaguely assumed that any weirdness regarding my sensory processing and so on was because of that.

So! To summarize (and I put this below a cut because it gets Long).

Chiari Malformation is when you have a defect in the base of your skull that puts pressure on your cerebellum, causing part of it to go into your spinal column. Many people with this condition don't experience any symptoms, but that is not always the case, and even with no symptoms, it does place you at a much higher risk for a brain injury. With a Chiari Malformation, even a mild concussion can cause serious damage.

I have had several concussions, with one of them knocking me out for several minutes when I was very young. So. Here we are.

Regarding treatments for Chiari, most of what can be done is simply treating the symptoms. Unless there is concern about the condition getting worse (more memory loss, paralysis, etc.), patients will likely be referred elsewhere to discuss pain management, because from my understanding, the only effective treatment for Chiari is a decompression surgery, which will remove part of your skull to take pressure off the brain. It's not terribly risky as brain surgeries go, but the best brain surgery is, of course, no brain surgery.

Re my Physical symptoms:

I get headaches very frequently, and often very severely. They have been categorized as migraines in the past, because they come with severe light and sound sensitivity, and they tend to knock me out for hours. That said, they don't meet all the criteria for a migraine, including having no aura to speak of. They are often triggered by strain and jostling my head--by coughing, sneezing, vomiting, jumping, or anything that would cause motion sickness.

I have poor balance. I have found that walking with a cane helps, but physical therapy doesn't do all that much (because it's in my brain and not my muscles).

I also struggle with chronic fatigue. Getting out of bed is a real struggle most days, as is getting anything done outside of simply going to work and then coming home--although I recently went on an antidepressant, which has helped a bit.

Insomnia! I have trouble sleeping. It comes and goes, sometimes I get several days worth of restful sleep, but sometimes I get only a few hours worth of sleep over the course of a week.

Shooting and burning pain in back of skull, neck, spine, shoulders, and chest. Be careful with this one, because this can also be a result of a heart issue. That said, I've had my heart checked out, and that's all good, which is why they checked the brain in the first place.

As for my cognitive symptoms, it's a bit fuzzier, because like I said before, I have PTSD, I have the ABI, I have GAD, several of my family members are somewhere on the autism spectrum, and now my therapist is also having me evaluated for OSDD. So, your mileage may vary. But essentially:

Memory loss. Some of it is retrograde, and I have found that I'll forget significant events and people. Most of it is anterograde, or short term--so, forgetting what a conversation is about while I'm in the middle of a sentence, and either having to improvise and try to make a guess as to what I was talking about, or having to have my conversation partner walk back what we were talking about to explain what we were doing. I have to have a very detailed and elaborate task tracker at work in order to stay on top of things, or I would simply forget it all. I also have the experience of feeling like all of my memories are stories that were told to me. So, I rarely experience a memory as a thing that happened to me, complete with sights and sounds and feelings and sensations and so on, but more like a story that someone told to me once. So, a vague recollection of events and the order in which they happened. This makes it difficult to differentiate between my own memories and stories that other people have told me. It has happened a few times that I have told a story of something that happened to me, only to find out that it actually happened to the person I was talking to instead, and I just got confused.

I'm not sure what to call this one, but I get EXTREMELY easily distracted from processing audio, especially in an environment with more than one thing happening. If I am having a verbal conversation with someone in a restaurant, and someone comes and sits at the table next to us and starts talking, I become almost incapable of conversation. If I'm talking to someone and someone turns on the TV in the next room, I become almost incapable of conversation. If music is playing, I lose track of the conversation. I forget everything I was saying. I won't be able to understand what other people are saying. Spending time in loud, busy, or crowded environments is not that distressing by itself, but I will not be able to hold a conversation.

Aphasia and Verbal Processing. It is incredibly difficult for me to put words together in a way that is coherent. It is significantly easier through writing, because I can look things up and take my time with it. But in vocal conversation, I will frequently have verbal shutdowns where I cannot find a word, and all of my language processing shuts down while I try to comprehend what I was talking about. This often leads to...

Fuzziness/Blurriness. I typically call this "going fuzzy". Generally it involves a verbal shutdown to an extent, where my brain has reached capacity with processing information, and is deciding to simply wipe everything and start over. Think of it like restarting a really old computer. Sometimes it doesn't take too terribly long--a few moments. Sometimes it takes more than half an hour. It depends. This is often accompanied by...

The Buzzing™--It happens for me at the base of the skull, where the injury is. It feels like a tuning fork fused to the inside of my skull. It is completely maddening. My ears ring, and it sounds like a high pitched whining noise. I become very on edge, it's incredibly anxiety inducing, and very overwhelming. I don't know if this is a common symptom you will be able to find under brain injuries, but it's Extremely not fun! I have found that it can be lessened somewhat with massaging the area.

The Voices™: I have heard voices ever since I was a kid. (Schizophrenia has already been ruled out.) Sometimes, it Is an actual auditory hallucination. I recently had an experience where I was grocery shopping and kept flinching because it sounded like someone was shouting my name directly into my ear. Other times, I've heard people whispering or knocking on my walls. These typically occur during or following a stressful situation. HOWEVER, I also experience The Voices™ in my daily life outside of stressful situations. In these situations, it is never auditory, more just a thing that occurs in my own head. I have, in the past, had the experience of talking more or less constantly to one or several distinct people in my head. Nowadays, it feels more like experiencing multiple trains of thought or multiple sets of emotions which feel distinct from "mine". Or feeling like a background voice in my head while someone else does things for me.

Per my therapist, I have recently begun categorizing them as different people to see if that helps. And it does sometimes! And sometimes it does not. It is a process. But that's where I am with that.

There's more to it, but I don't really have the capacity to talk about it much more than I have at the moment.

If you want to see what my experience with this is like... I mean. I did write an entire fanfiction about a character with several of my symptoms recently. You likely won't have the context for what is going on re the character and the situation unless you are into Red vs. Blue, but just in case it helps to see a recounting of it, here:

The Fanfiction That Helped Me Realize I Had Brain Damage™. Have fun!

[hishap]

Hisha’s Bug Fables fics masterpost, SquidgeWorld Edition

Because my fics are now also on SquidgeWorld! They are archive-locked but getting an account is really quick

Series :

Spore Tales

3fics, 2 G-rated + 1 T-rated. Post-canon, heavy Leif’s Request spoilers

Of Gay Bugs

That’s where the shipping fics go! 3 fics, T-rated. Post-canon, Kabbu/Neo and Neo/Kabbu/Leif

Standalone one-shots :

Trust

G-rated. During and post-canon. You can thank @dreamyyartist for this one!

Explorers’ Game Night

G-rated. The active explorer teams play the bug version of Werewolf. I had to modify the rules to make them work with zombiants instead of werewolves. Post-canon, heavily implied spoilers

Insomnia

G-rated. Post-canon, slight spoilers. Vi has been having troubles falling asleep lately and her teammates want to help her out.

OC-centric stuff :

Blue Team Stories

4 fics, G-rated, post-canon, spin-off sequel, follows a brand new team & their friends & family travelling Bugaria & beyond 20 years or so after the events of the game.

[smtown-tourist]

A SHINee Poem:

Excuse Me Miss, 

Why So Serious?

Wowowow! 

Girls, Girls, Girls, calm down!

Don’t have a Heart Attack.

I know this Breaking News can’t seem Real,

and it’s HARD for Y.O.U. to comprehend The Reason

for why Onew and Taemin would Runaway from SM

after they’ve been there for what feels like 1000nen.

You might not Like It at first,

getting The Feeling that SHINee will become like Atlantis,

lost and never seen again, 

that this announcement is like they Kiss Yo 

and all those SEASONS they worked for SM good-bye.

You might feel like the Onew and Taemin are saying,

“Farewell My Love.”

and it might make you Shout Out, 

“Please, Don’t Go!”

I’m With You. I felt that way, too, 

at first,

but I have Good Good Feeling that these Up & Down times

that move like a Seesaw are only the beginning 

of the next Beautiful SHIFT in SHINee’s career paths.

Signing with a new company might sound Dangerous and as if it might

all blow up in their faces like Dynamite, but it’s time to Close the Door

on Onew and Taemin’s Days and Years at SM.

Senorita, I Get It. 

A new company will feel like a Stranger is Hitchhiking off of their Perfect 10 fame.

Set those feelings Aside and look at it from this View:

A new company might Rescue them from the Evil that was SM,

pretending to be their A.MI.GO 

and always telling our boys, “U Need Me to be a SUPERSTAR.”

A Trigger, I know, 

since some of you have gotten a Clue about the Symptoms,

like Insomnia,

malnourishment,

and questioning of their Identity, as a person and artist,

that comes from being Married to the Music

and working for someone like SM.

You don’t need to be Sherlock to crack that CØDE.

A new company could be a Savior and a Sweet Surprise

for You & I, who Wish Upon A Star every night,

hoping that our boys will break out of their Sweet Misery.

Wishful Thinking it might seem,

this company might not be Mr. Right Guy,

the Best Place for our leader and maknae,

and everything Onew and Taemin have worked for

might Become Undone.

It Hit Me, though, that for Onew,

he has Nothing to Lose.

Almost Four Seasons and 365 days have passed without his return,

and for a while, it felt like his Life in SHINee

had come to an end,

like we were that much Closer to losing another member.

But the Note that we got reassured us 

that his hiatus wasn’t a Spoiler,

that the last album wasn’t An Ode To You,

a Last Gift to The SHINee World,

that SHINee World VI wasn’t an Undercover farewell,

that this transition is a Hello to fresh beginnings,

An Encore to the Beautiful Life that Onew and Taemin already lived

while at SM. 

Their departure might leave a Black Hole

in SM’s solo artist lineup as they Kiss Kiss Kiss them good-bye,

but it’s not the end for SHINee. 

Onew and Taemin will be Better Off at new companies

where they can be like Picasso and create something magical.

Trust our boys’ Chemistry for it is Electric.

They SHINe like a Colorful Prism,

a Lucky Star in the Diamond Sky.

and trust their Honesty to Keeping Love Again

for as SHINee once said, “Love Should Go On,”

and our Love Still Goes On 

because the bond between SHINee and SHINee World

is like Romeo + Juliette.

They need our Love Like Oxygen 

and we will Always Love them.

To SHINee, we are their Juliette,

their Jo Jo, 

their SHINee Girl,

their Lucifer,

their One,

their Dazzling Girl,

their Dream Girl,

their Selene 6.23,

their Queen of New York,

their Odd Eye,

their 1 of 1 girl.

Boys Will Be Boys and our boys Don’t Stop loving us.

They will wonder about your blood type. 

“Aboab?”

But then they will tell themselves, “If You Love Her, it doesn’t matter.”

They will come to your door and Ring Ding Dong that doorbell,

asking, “Do Me Right and Tell Me Your Name. Give me Your Name and Your Number.”

They might play hard to get and tell you, “Don’t Call Me,”

but then show up like a Gentleman with flowers and Chocolate in their hands.

They might make you mad and then they’ll start begging,

“Don’t Let Me Go. You are the One for Me. Stand By Me.” 

They will ask for the Password To Your Heart

so you won’t have to feel that Love Pain anymore

like a sad, lonely Quasimodo.

“Woof Woof,” goes their puppy-love as they Hold You in their arms.

They will want to Marry You and Lock You Down

like a Love Sick Romantic.

On the days when the Green Rain falls,

they will be your Sunny Day Hero,

showing you the Sunny Side of Love’s Way.

They Talk To You about the Colors of the Season

and shower you with Attention because you're their new Obsession.

They will help you Bounce back from those dark days

by shouting, “A-yo!” 

They might mess up your Lipstick as they give you a little Kiss Kiss

in this Winter Wonderland.

So, I Say, Run With Me into this new future with SHINee.

I Want You to take a Drive Downtown Baby,

listen to that Retro Melody as you

DXDXD to the Moon River Waltz

and feel the Body Rhythm as you Get Down and JUMP

to SHINee’s Countless hits.

I Really Want You to Graze through that collection that I know

you have, just like I have In My Room, and find

your favorite Photograph that makes your Electric Heart

feel as if it’s on Fire.

Can you feel it Burning Up!?

It’s Like A Fire, isn’t it?

It makes you feel Alive and wish that you could

turn the clock One Minute Back

so you can relive it all again on this Good Evening.

Ready or Not, we have come to our next Destination

of Our Page in SHINee’s story.

In 3 2 1, the Orgel plays on the Alarm Clock.

Everybody, wake up, wake up!

The Boys Meet U in a new Area of their lives,

and right now, Onew and Taemin might feel far away,

like a Satellite orbiting the night sky.

You might have a Sleepless Night followed by a Nightmare

as you don’t Feel Good about this new change,

but the Gravity of SHINee World’s Love, so Kind, patient, and everlasting,

keeps The Name SHINee from disappearing into outer space.

Our crazy Punch Drunk Love keeps them fighting 

for this Romance that we have that’s So Amazing.

It’s the kind that when people ask, “Who Waits for Love?”

You say, “All Day All Night, I’ll wait for SHINee.”

From Now On, you don’t have to Tell Me What To Do.

I’ll Get the Treasure because Kimi Ga Iru Sekai.

Forever or Never, I always want to remain by your side.

Kiminoseide, I Wanted to become 10X better, and now, I have the JUICE

to make that happen.

You’ll never have to say, “Y Si Fuera, Ella,” to me

or any other member of SHINee World.

You, SHINee, have said to us, “We are SHINee 5 and we’re right by your side.”

Now, it’s our turn to Replay that back at you.

Onew and Taemin, 

as well as Minho and Key,

and of course, Jonghyun, too, our Moon Drop diamond in the sky,

as you embark on this new adventure,

I,

and everyone else in SHINee world say,

“We are SHINee World and we’re right by your side.”

[mrsreginagold]

Fic: Restless

Fandom: Ready or Not x Saw VI (Crossover)

Pairing: William Easton x Grace Le Domas (Willace)

Rating: R

Spoilers: Takes place in an AU, as William yet again survived his test and met Grace at some point. She isn’t fully aware of what he’s been through.

Summary: William’s restless nature worries Grace.

Author's Note: This is my second attempt to figure out what kind of universe and plot line works for this very random couple that I now ship incredibly hard. Most would agree that watching Will's ending in Saw VI is heartbreaking, but if he were to survive I know there would be a certain amount of trauma for him to process. Having Grace help and comfort him just felt like the right course. And she gets the added benefit of a really attractive man wanting to thank her afterwards which she absolutely does not mind.

Restless

                  The gentle rustle of cotton sheets was what alerted Grace Le Domas to William Easton exiting their bed. While it wasn’t unusual for him to wake in the middle of the night, she was admittedly touched that he took extra care not to disturb her. 

                  At the same time – the consistency worried her. She knew that he was able to function on less sleep than she did, but it wasn’t exactly a healthy habit. 

                  Resolved to help him in whatever way that she could, Grace threw back the covers, rose, and grabbed a thin robe to pull over her pajamas. She padded on bare feet through the hallway until she spotted William standing in the kitchen, waiting for the electric kettle to finish boiling some water, presumably for a cup of tea.

                  “Baby, you should be resting,” she strolled in, securing the robe around her midsection before curling her arms around his waist – embracing him from behind. “You have that interview tomorrow, remember?”

                  His response was a quiet sigh and to lean back into her. “Sorry, love, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

                  William’s voice – already a resonant baritone – was rougher with exhaustion, and despite her innocent intentions, Grace was unable to quell the pool of liquid warmth that gathered at her core. 

                  Biting back a moan at the effect he had over her, she instead pressed a feather-light kiss to his nape. “You have nothing to apologize for, but I can’t help being concerned. This has been going on for months and it’s not good for you.”

                  “I know that. I’ve been trying, but the insomnia is really tough to shake,” he twisted around to face her, and she visibly winced at seeing how dark the circles under his eyes were getting.

                  “God, you look exhausted,” she muttered, reaching up to push some loose strands of hair out of his line of vision. “Though I like this longer style on you.”

                  The corners of his mouth quirked into a brief smile. “You were the one who suggested it.”

                  “And I’m glad I did because it makes you look rakish,” she stood on tiptoe to kiss him properly, relieved when he pulled her closer on instinct. 

                  It was easy to lose herself in William’s arms, allowing the world around them to disappear into a cloudy haze while passion took over. However, distraction wasn’t what he currently needed, so she pulled back. “Make your tea, and let’s sit for a while and talk. Maybe we can get to the bottom of why you aren’t sleeping.”

                  “And here I was hoping that some tiring lovemaking was in the equation,” he teased.

                  She rolled her eyes, but an affectionate smile crossed her lips. “It still can be, but first: we should figure out what’s happening.”

                  They relocated to the living room with their tea in hand and nestled together on the couch. 

                  “Tell me about what started this,” she invited, taking a slow sip of her drink. 

                  He sunk further into the plush cushions. “It’s been going on since before we met, actually. Since…” he shuddered at the memory that emerged, unbidden. “Since my test.”

                  Grace pursed her lips. She knew only the basic details of what William had been through. “I know you don’t like unearthing those memories, but maybe talking about the experience would help.”

                  “Are you sure? It’s pretty horrifying.”

                  She rubbed over the back of her left hand, which bore the scars from her own harrowing experience only a few years ago. “I think I can handle it.”

                  He hesitated for another moment before quietly launching into his tale. 

                  Grace listened with growing alarm as William described, in great detail, the challenges that he had faced. While she was aware that Jigsaw’s traps were terrible, painful experiences, learning that they were also personal in many ways – tailored to the chosen victim – left her aghast. 

                  The most terrifying aspect, though, was the knowledge that he might not have made it due to sheer circumstance.

                  “Wait, so – you’re telling me that the entire time, it wasn’t even really your test? And if that mother and son hadn’t shown mercy, you’d have been killed?!”

                  “Yes.”

                  “Then what was the point of testing you in the first place?!” 

                  Her companion fell silent, his head drooping. 

                  Her heart clenched when she heard her lover begin to cry. “That’s the part that I keep asking myself. What was the point? Do I even deserve to be here or was it just dumb luck?!”

                  Immediately she slid over to give him a hug, running her fingers soothingly through his hair and pressing light kisses to his forehead. “Of course, you deserve to be here, Will.”

                  “Sometimes, I wonder.” he sniffled and then buried his head further into her shoulder.

                  She allowed him a proper sob, wondering if he had ever given himself leave to break, even in private moments. “Hey. Baby, look at me.”

                  He hesitated but did as she asked.

                  Tenderly, she swiped away the tears that ran down his handsome face. “William Easton: you are caring, thoughtful, and a good man, despite your past. Even when you were helping run a shady insurance agency, you took the time to meet with clients face to face and at least attempt to help them. Then, after all that Jigsaw put you through – you learned. You changed, and you brought down the very company that gave you success in the first place. I’d say that you’ve atoned and then some. So yes – you deserve to be here. You deserved to pass that test. And above all, you deserve love. My love,” she clarified. “Will, I love you so goddamned much, please don’t ever think that you aren’t worth it.”

                  A heavy silence hung in the air while he studied her, those eyes of his searching her own in a manner that made her wonder if he could gaze directly into her soul. 

                  Without warning, William lunged, his mouth capturing her own in a searing, passion-filled kiss that sent them toppling back onto the couch from the intensity of it. 

                  Unbidden, Grace moaned, her legs tangling around his when he settled on top of her. Their bodies always seemed to fit exactly – two puzzle pieces crafted solely for each other. 

                  He pulled back to give her air, nuzzling her nose with his before murmuring: “I love you too. Thank you for thinking me worthy.”

                  In the past – she might have scoffed at the platitude, but there was something hidden in the sea of blue she often found herself lost in that told her how much he meant it. 

                  She reached up, tracing a light pattern over his cheek, and replied. “You are, Will. Always.”

                  He ducked his head, claiming her lips in another kiss that was sweeter this time, reclining her back against the plush cushions and deftly undoing the knot in her robe so it fell open. 

                  Smirking against his mouth, she surged up and pushed him back into a sitting position, shucking the garment off and straddling him in the span of a few moments.

                  They kissed again, fervently, with Grace tugging playfully at his tee-shirt until he lifted his arms so she could whisk it over his head. 

                  Her hands immediately rushed to his bare chest, sliding down through the hair that dusted it before lingering at the drawstring waistband of his sleep pants. 

                  He arced his hips to assist her in their removal, grinning between heated kisses. “You’re overdressed.”

                  “Easily fixed,” she mumbled, shimmying halfway out of her nightgown so her bare skin could brush along his.

                  He helped her with the rest, until they were both completely naked and he twisted to bear her back under him. 

                  She raked her nails over a remarkably toned torso, sliding one long leg against his before hitching it over his hip, drawing their nude forms even closer together.

                  He didn’t need further invitation and joined them with a fluid movement, the air soon filled with their mingled cries as they drove each other to completion. 

                  A while later…

                  “It hasn’t escaped my attention that we’re very partial to this couch,” William stated, his words slightly muffled from where his head was pillowed against Grace’s chest. 

                  “We are, aren’t we?” she couldn’t help a chuckle, stroking through his hair, which had been lovingly mussed in their exertions. 

                  “Between this and the shower, I’d say that the bed itself has been horribly neglected.” He shifted so he could peer down at her. “We should probably do something about that.”

                  “Maybe get a better mattress?” she suggested, running her hands slowly up and down his chest. “I mean, it could help with the sleep issue.”

                  “That’s going to be less of a problem from now on,” he admitted, touching his forehead to hers. “As long as you’re next to me, I can rest.”

                  “Provided there’s thorough, tiring sex beforehand?” she joked. 

                  “Not necessary but appreciated.” He laughed, which made his features light up in a way she hadn’t seen in a while. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight. 

                  “I meant it earlier…you’re always worthy of my love, Will.”

                  “I know that Gracie,” he leaned in, kissing her gratefully. “I know.”

                  And judging from how eager he was to prove that fact – she had little doubt in the sincerity.

The End

[iksidaorvali]

❛❛   visenya targaryen .  ❜❜   ― 🔥 ― a cry in the night as you watch your lover fall, sound echoed by the winged beast who shares your heart (no one else can know what you truly saw)... secret knowledge and a desire for revenge feeding a rage burning at your very core, flames threatening to consume you (being sent away was the only solution)... your uncle’s coronation drags you back into the too familiar heartache of home, peace of mind and body left back in lys (pain is your constant companion in westeros)...

BASICS.

full name : visenya alysanne targaryen celtigar

name meaning :

visenya : high valyrian | possibly derived from vezenka which means “solar”

alysanne : german | “noble”

targaryen : tba | “tba”

celtigar : tba | “tba”

nicknames : sena, vis, v

epithets : the dragon heart

titles : lady of dragonstone, lady of claw isle

gender / pronouns : cis woman / she/her

sexuality : pansexual

date of birth : fifth day of the fourth moon

age : six and twenty years

zodiac : aries

place of birth : dragonstone, the crownlands, westeros

accent : english

languages : common tongue, high valyrian

allegiance : house targaryen, house velaryon, house celtigar

religion : the old gods of valyria

APPEARANCE.

faceclaim : frida gustavsson

height : 5′7″

eye color : lilac

hair color : silver-gold

dominant hand : ambidextrous

glasses : n/a

MEDICAL.

mental : insomnia, adhd, depression

physical : some smaller scars from sword practice

PERSONALITY.

positive traits : steadfast, determined, captivating

negative traits : ruthless, brazen, sarcastic

hobbies : swordplay, dragon riding, painting, sketching, swimming

RELATIONSHIPS.

parents :

ruling lord ___ targaryen; father [ 55+ ]

ruling lady ___ targaryen, née rogare; mother [ 55 ]

siblings :

lord heir ___ targaryen; eldest brother [ 37 ]

lady ___ targaryen; eldest sister [ 34-36 ]

lord ___ targaryen; older brother [ 31-33 ] ** twin

lord ___ targaryen; older brother [ 31-33 ] ** twin

lady ___ targaryen; older brother [ 28-30 ]

lord baelor targaryen; younger twin brother [ 26 ] ** twin

lord vaella targaryen; younger sister [ 24 ]

extended family :

lord vaegon targaryen; late paternal uncle [ 46, deceased 6 years ]

ruling lord ___ targaryen; paternal uncle [ 49 ]

ruling lady ___ targaryen, née ___; aunt marriage [ 45-50 ]

queen rhaenyra velaryon, née targaryen; paternal aunt [ 49 ]

king daemon velaryon; uncle via marriage [ 51 ]

house celtigar of claw isle

former in-laws via jacaerys celtigar

house rogare of lys

via her mother

house targaryen of summerhall

via her paternal uncle

house velaryon of king's landing

via her paternal aunt's marriage

spouse : lord jacaerys celtigar; late husband [ 28, deceased 2 years ]

children : n/a

pets : 

nightsong [ dragon - think silverwing but mostly lavender ]

ADDITIONAL INFO.

quick facts :

visenya has been having dragon dreams with consistency from a very early age. the only ones who know of her ability are her mother and late husband.

more coming soon. i just wanna write.

biography :

doc here

feel free to ask me anything, as this is a work in progress.

CONNECTIONS.

late husband’s killer : their true target was visenya, so they may or may not be planning another attempt now that she’s returned to westeros. while i’m open to determining the reason for them wanting her dead together, i would like it to have something to do with her dragon dreams and/or connection to the crown. ➢ 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 

in-laws : i’d just love to see the celtigars around for some fun former family things. members she was closer to, maybe some who never liked her much. all the things. ➢ 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 (𝟎/𝟕)

childhood best friends : just two other babes from the crownlands who visenya has been very close to her entire life. any gender is fine. ➢ 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍 (𝟎/𝟐)

[drinkthemlock]

NIGHT AT THE TAVERN

VI - LAST KISS OF LOVE

The end. Translating this took me over a year. I was in a very different place in my life when I began this project and I’m so glad it stayed with me along the way. Three cheers for weird goth boys from the 1800s!

Text by Álvares de Azevedo, translation my own.

TW: this chapter contains murder and suicide.

[revised August 2024]

VI

LAST KISS OF LOVE

“Well Juliet! I shall lie with you tonight!”

SHAKESPEARE - “Romeo and Juliet”

It was late into the night; the party was over. The fellows slept in the shadows, satisfied.

A light flashed through some cracks on the door. The door opened. A woman in black entered. She was pale; and the light of a lantern, which she held in her hand, poured onto her features and awarded a singular twinkle to her eyes. Maybe once she had been a typical beauty, one of those images that make one blush with desire in boyish dreams. But now, with her livid skin, her alert eyes, her purple lips, her marble hands, and her dark clothes, dripping wet from the rain, one might say instead: “the lost angel of madness”.

The woman bent down: with the lantern in her hand she looked, one by one, for a familiar face amongst the sleeping ones.

When the light hit Arnold, she knelt. She went to kiss him, puckered her lips… but an idea detained her. She rose. When she reached a sleeping Johann, a smile paled her lips, her gaze became sinister.

She knelt down next to him, then placed the lantern on the ground. The faint lumen of the lantern hitting her clothes cast a shadow over Johann. The woman leaned in and her hand fell on his throat. A husky and muffled sob followed. The stranger rose. She trembled; and upon holding the lantern a piece of metal clinked in her hand… It was a dagger… She threw it to the ground. She saw that her hands were red; dried them in Johann’s long hair…

She came back to Arnold; shook him.

“Wake up!”

“What do you want from me?”

“Look at me… can’t you recognize me?”

“You? Is this not a dream? It is you! Oh! Let me hold you, now! Five years without seeing you! Five years! And how much you’ve changed!”

“Yes, I am no longer as beautiful as I was five years ago! It’s true, my blond lover! It’s that the flower of beauty is like all flowers. Nourish them with the dew of virginity, under the wind of purity, and they’ll be beautiful… Cover them in filth… and, like the falling fruit that plunge into the waters of the sea, they’ll be enclosed by an impure and brackish encasement! Once I was Geórgia — the virgin —, but today it is Geórgia— the prostitute!”

“My God! My God!”

The man put his face in his hands.

“Do not curse me, no!”

“Oh! Let me remember: these past five years were a dream. The man from billiards, the point blank duel, waking up at a hospital, this depraved life which desperation pushed me into, are all a dream! Oh! Let us remember the past! When winter darkens the sky, let us close our eyes; poor dead swallows! Let us remember the spring!”

“Your words hurt me… It’s a farewell, a farewell kiss and separation that I come to ask of you; on earth our bed would be impure, the world has tarnished our bodies. The love between the libertine and the whore! Satan would laugh at us. It is in heaven, when the grave has washed us clean, that our loving dawn will rise…”

“Oh! To see you only to leave you again! And didn’t you realize, Giórgia, that it would've been better for me to have died, devoured by the dogs in that empty street where I was carried from, covered in blood? That it would’ve been better if you’d murdered me in drunken sleep, rather than point the wandering star of good fortune to me and then wipe it from the sky? Didn’t you realize that, after five years, five years of fever and insomnia, of waiting and despairing, of living for you, of longing and agony, it would be like hell to see you only to leave you?”

“Have mercy, Arnold! I need this farewell to be as long as life. See, my fate is grim: there’s a vile stain on my memories… today! The venal bed… Tomorrow! I only long for the berth of the grave! Arnold! Arnold!”

“Do not call me Arnold! Call me Artur, like before. Artur! Won’t you listen! Call me that! It’s been so long since I’ve heard anyone call me by that name! I was a madman! I wanted to drown my thoughts and wandered the towns and the mountains, leaving tears everywhere I went… in the lonely caves, on the silent meadows and on the wine-stained tables! Come, Giórgia! Sit here, sit on my knees, nestled well on my heart… your head on my shoulder! Come! A kiss! I want to feel again that perfume which I used to breathe in your lips… let me breathe it and die! Five years! Oh! Such a long time waiting for you, dreaming of just one hour on your breast… Then… Listen… I’ve so much to say to you! So many tears to spill onto your lap! Come! And I will tell you my whole story! My lover’s illusions and the damned nights spent in lasciviousness and the boredom that the cold mouths of the whores that kissed me inspired in me! Come! I’ll tell you all of it, I’ll tell you how I desecrated my soul and my past… and let us cry together… our tears will wash us like the rain washes mud off the leaves!”

“Thank you, Artur! Thank you!”

The woman drowned in tears and the young man murmured in between kisses and words of love.

“Listen, Artur, I came just to tell you goodbye! From the door to my grave; and then I’d close it, content… Artur, I’ll die!”

Both were crying.

“Do you see,” she continued. “Come along: do you see that man?”

Arnold took the lantern.

“Johann! Dead! God protect me! Who killed him?”

“Giórgia did! He was a scoundrel. It was he who left a young man he slapped at a gambling den for dead. Giórgia, the whore! Has avenged Giórgia, the virgin! He was the man who ruined her! Ruined her… she, his sister!”

“Horror! Horror!”

And the man turned his face and covered it with his hands.

The woman kneeled at his feet.

“And now goodbye! Goodbye, for I’ll die! Can’t you see I’m turning pale, that my eyes turn glazed and I tremble… and faint?”

“No! I will not go. If I were alive tomorrow, there would be a horrible memory in my past…”

“And are you not afraid? Watch out! It is death that’s coming! It’s life at its twilight on my forehead. Can’t you see this sliver in between my eyebrows?”

“Why would I care about the sleep of death? My future tomorrow would be terrible: and inside the corpse’s rotting head no memories echo, death seals its lips; the grave is silent. I’ll die!”

The woman retreated… retreated… The young man took her in his arms, nailed his lips to hers… She cried out and fell from his hands. It was horrible to look at. The man took the dagger, closed his eyes, punched it against his chest and fell onto her. Two moans were muffled by the sound of a body hitting the ground…

The lamp went out.

[yesthisismycurrenthyperfixation]

I was falling asleep and I thought about Tommy, Jake's twin brother.

And if she hadn't died, and if she had been left in a coma and awake after Neteyam's birth. He is in Pandora because the Na vi body was his, they knew he would wake up, they did not know when. So they transport him to Pandora.Jake doesn't send it back

They are twins, they have their birthday on the same day, but now Jake has another body, another birthday. Separated birthdays after more than 20 years and not because they are fighting, it is that they will never celebrate their birth together again.One is human the other Na vi. They would be further apart than ever and still missing each other. I am a twin, I have a brother. And we have never EVER celebrated apart. Even if we have a partner, we blow out our candles together even if they are 15 minutes, and then each one with their party or with their partner.

But we always celebrate by ourselves TOGETHER. Is our moment. Just thinking about it hurts me.

Right now he is with me, we both have insomnia, he is in my room we ate an Edible🍁, both with masks reading a Lovecraft book. We even share books. (I am extremely jealous with my books, apart from the fact that they are expensive because I read in Spanish, I don't like to lend them) Although he is a man and I am a woman. We share more and we get along better than I do with my sisters.

*we are 25. I can't imagine a good or bad moment in my life without my other half. We tell each other everything.💜💙

Couple of thoughts on this.

First waking from a coma is a long process, especially a long one like this. It isn't like in the movies where the person wakes up and suddenly they are all better. Not only does it take them a while to fully regain consciousness but it takes a long time to be able to do ANYTHING! I have had a couple of family members go through this process due to vehicle accidents and they had to relearn how to do almost everything. The physical therapy for that plus to help them regain muscle mass took one of my family members over a year.

Now second, I've know multiple sets of twins and all of them have a special connection like you and your brother do Anon. I do not think Jake would want to lose that, even if he thought Tommy was never going to wake up. In my mind Jake would wait until his actual birthday to be transfered to the Avatar body, that connection means to much to lose.

It would hurt too much knowing Jake as a Na'vi is already going to outlive Tommy by decades. Na'vi live so much longer than humans and that longevity would transfer, if not fully than partially, to the Avatar body thanks to the Na'vi part of the Avatar. Knowing he would have to watch Tommy grow old and die, whether he woke up or not, Jake would want to remain as connected to Tommy as he could.

I can see Norm radioing to tell Jake that Tommy was waking up. Jake would rush to Hell's Gate and be confused why Tommy was still unconscious. "I thought you said he was awake." Would be used at least once in a betrayed manner.

Norm would have to explain that Tommy is waking up but it will still be a while. He would have to explain that it will take a long time for Tommy to fully wake and even longer to be able to function. Norm isn't the kind to beat around the bush. He would explain in detail what Jake could expect.

For the next while Jake would be at Hell's Gate everyday, not all day but he would make sure to get there to check on his brother. Thanks to this Jake was there the first time Tommy actually woke up.

For the first time in years Jake and Tommy celebrate their birthdays together. Jake is like a kid in a candy store on this day, even if Tommy would love pointing out that he is now the older brother. "My body is older than yours... Little brother!" Or "When I was your age." Come on you can't tell me brothers, even twins, wouldn't poke fun at each other. It's what siblings do.

[ficklecat]

💤🩹🐉 for the oc thing :D

Thank you for the ask!!! :) I know it’s teeeechnically not OC Thursday anymore but fuck it it’s my blog and also time isn’t real lol

💤 SLEEPING SIGN — is your oc a light sleeper or a heavy sleeper? how are their sleeping habits?

Phineas is absolutely the lightest sleeper. He’ll wake up to a pin drop, especially in unfamiliar places. Thankfully he sleeps a little deeper with Vi/E around, but he also had chronic insomnia, so he doesn’t have the best sleeping habits either way. Violet is a pretty light sleeper as well, but she tends to be the one who stays up late/sleeps in late. She’ll often try to stay up with Finn as long as she can to keep him company and usually falls asleep against her will. Manny is an early riser, but is also the heaviest sleeper, which he counts himself lucky for: Finn and Vi can have whole conversations in bed while he slumbers next to them. He’s also not picky and can usually sleep anywhere if he’s tired enough - when he was a little kid, he fell asleep while going down a water slide (his poor dad nearly had a heart attack).

🩹 ADHESIVE BANDAGE — does your oc have any physical and/or mental disabilities?

None of them have a disability in a sense that they require significant accommodation, but in general: Finn is diagnosed with insomnia, PTSD, and panic disorder. Physically, he has albinism which impairs his vision significantly but is otherwise not much of a problem. Other than that, Manny has eczema, and Violet is lactose intolerant though she refuses to accept it (she LOVES cheese and ice cream).

🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature?

Not sure if this counts but Violet loves cryptids and SCPs; she’s a big fan of skinwalkers, Baba Yaga, the Boo Hag, and other creepy creatures. If Manny had to pick he’d probably choose a griffin or a Pegasus - something that flies but not a dragon, something more “majestic.” And Phineas would likely pick something from Greek myths, probably the Minotaur because it’s a tragic story.

[murdcrofcrows]

stats • pinterest • connections

full name: zelda katherine adair nicknames: tbd gender / pronouns: demi-girl, she/they age & birthday: 30, march 21st occupation: jazz singer at godfather house of blues, ethical hacker affiliation: executioners, vigilante orientation & status: homosexual kinsey scale 6, single strengths: bold, protective, outspoken, friendly, talented weaknesses: overzealous, paranoid, impulsive, sarcastic, rash character inspo: nomi (sense8), darlene (mr. robot), allison hargreeves (the umbrella academy), mika (orphan black), mindy meeks-martin (scream vi), raven reyes (the 100), abby sciuto (ncis), jynn urso (rogue one), fox mulder (the x-files)

- diving deeper

* ◟ : 〔 jasmin savoy brown , demi-woman + she/they 〕 ZELDA ADAIR , some say you’re a THIRTY YEARS OLD lost soul among the neon lights. known for being both BOLD and PARANOID , one can’t help but think of NO COMPLAINTS by NOAH KAHAN when you walk by. are you still a JAZZ SINGER , HACKER / VIGILANTE at GODFATHER HOUSE OF BLUES / EXECUTIONERS, even with your reputation as THE ICARIAN? i think we’ll be seeing more of you and LATE NIGHT CLICKING OF A MECHANICAL KEYBOARD, A FACE ILLUMINATED BY BLUE LIGHT IN AN OTHERWISE DARK ROOM, LIVING MULTIPLE LIVES, EIGHTIES & NINETIES VINTAGE T-SHIRTS, AND INSOMNIA INDUCED BLANKET FORTS & MOVIE MARATHONS, although we can’t help but think of ALLISON HARGREEVES (THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY), DARLENE (MR. ROBOT), MINDY MEEKS-MARTIN (SCREAM VI), NOMI (SENSE8), MIKA (ORPHAN BLACK) whenever we see you down these rainy streets.

BACKGROUND.

tw: infertility

born in roanoke, virginia to ruth and clarence adair. ruth, a teacher, named her zelda katherine after katherine johnson a world renowned mathematician and one of the first african american women to work as a nasa scientist. her father, a senior game developer in his own company, picked zelda after one of his all-time favorite video games that inspired him to create his games and company.

it's safe to say they both expected great things from their only child. they'd wanted more, but as time went on and conditions of the world worsened the subsequent attempts failed. this was something that seemed to upset zelda more than her parents growing up, as it always felt incredibly lonely in her world.

school always went well for zelda in terms of performance. she was exceptionally good in science, math, and technology. computers were her top interest, but she also enjoyed her extracurriculars like theater, choir, and track. she even reinstated and led the paranormal club, another hobby of hers that carried on well past high school.

because of their academic prowess they were able to get a scholarship to nyu and mixed with their college fund it was feasible for her to actually go. it was hard to say goodbye to everything she knew but this was a once in a lifetime opportunity and there wasn't anything truly holding them back except maybe her parents. everyone has to leave the nest eventually, right?

zelda had been excited for college, to be out on her own in a big city and with the freedom to meet new people, learn new things, and maybe start building a life. though she always had a problem with dreaming big and reaching for the stars without a space suit on.

some of the things she hoped for came true, she did learn new things. lots of new things. in fact life became a series of lessons, some good and some bad, that never really stopped. unable to blossom in the social department they focused on their studies and it paid off in the form of a paid internship at stoneage industries. it was there they started on a project, creating a replicant code meant to be able to fulfill a hole similar to the one that was in her own family. perhaps even make it so they could age, and develop just like any other human. give them free will which was against the mold but she didn't care.

unfortunately she wasn't as experienced as she should've been in order to be advancing code like she was trying to do. zelda should've stuck to the basics instead of trying to reach for the stars but she didn't, she wanted to do something great ( and if you ask her, she did ). link was great, his code a little off but that's what made him special - he could ( kind of ) think for himself and even if he had a few bugs, it wasn't like she couldn't fix them. all code had bugs to be worked out.

she didn't get a chance to do that at stoneage, however. in fact, the longer she worked for stoneage the more she realized just how barbaric they were. one thing was certain, there was no way she was going to let them destroy her creation brother, just because his code was a little off - she could fix that, she knew she could. he had feelings, he was her family. so, she quit stoneage and declined continuing on in the masters program at school. her and link found an apartment where they could live in peace ( hopefully ).

each of them were able to get a job at godfather house of blues, that way they could each make money and she could keep an eye out for and on link. she made extra money doing hacker/coding work on the side and in her spare time did a lot of ethical hacking, primarily chasing those trying to hurt others, especially the innocents of the world. like link, like she was once upon a time.

it was through that work she was discovered by the executioners. of course she agreed with their cause and while she'd never work for the government again, she would still like to see the crime in the city stop. her days and nights are spent in a roundabout between all these positions, all the while trying to keep blade runners from catching on to them and still attempting to live a normal life. at this point, though, she had no clue what tomorrow would bring.

QUICK CONNECTIONS.

college friends / rivals

people who knew her when she worked at stoneage

people suspicious of link

fans of jazz music

failed dates ( female only )

best friend (s)

other executioners

replicant sympathizers

HEADCANONS.

lives in a two bedroom apartment with her brother link. she has outfitted the place with a make-shift security system in an attempt to protect them, though it's always a toss-up if link will remember the code or to set it when he leaves.

she can regularly be found on forums online dedicated to paranormal, aliens, conspiracies, and, of course, replicants. the former items have been a lifelong hobby - the latter has been since she created link. she runs a blog specifically themed to paranormal / alien / cryptid stories, sightings, and reports.

zelda fell out of contact with her parents when things really started going south in the world in terms of environment, etc. they refused to leave roanoke and she is afraid she'll never talk to them again.

her hair changes a lot, color, style, etc. some would think it's to evade anyone looking for her and link, but really it's because it's her way of letting out expression or rebelling against society in general

more coming...

[jynxd]

Jinx Headcanon Overiew

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Conditions

   ➳❥ ADHD 

   ➳❥ Mental and emotional Instability  - note that Jinx is more emotionally unstable than mental.

   ➳❥ Insomnia / Sleep deprivation - Due to nightmares jinx tends not to sleep at all.

   ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ History / Symbolism

     ➳❥ Vastayan - She has always had animalistic tendencies, dating back to even before Silco. This is partially due to the fact that she has Vastayan lineage, her case it is tied to Vastayan Wolverines. Jinx has a set of specialized horizontal fangs in the back of her mouth that latch tightly onto whatever its bitten. She finds this out when bit into someone’s arm while she was young in self defense, noting the weird indents afterwards, along with an accidental pulling of skin.

    ➳❥ Piltover sentiment - After seeing her parents murdered, Jinx feels an extreme hatred towards enforcers and piltover as a whole. 

    ➳❥ Significance of Vi - Jinx does not remember much of Vi but remembers her enough to make a doll and incorperate her into her weapons.

    ➳❥ Spywork - Jinx has as secret tunnel she uses to get information from piltover. She even infiltrates.

  ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Abilites and Habits

   ➳❥ reading body language 

  ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Appearance

    ➳❥ Tattoos and scars 

[libidomechanica]

Gat-tothed I was tired, wander

A sonnet sequence

               I

And to the wintry word! Fire and joly as underground it gives my paines spred; she may be vain! Four; pain sits love to the Faith the dye of his tombe noght. My Son, the early!; Thus of Innsbruck cast in his Bible. And, by my fey, that taste note their grace. Find when we court and my own. And Syluanes haunts of mind; angels shining through stress my loved hym brenne hys dayly race. Gat-tothed I was tired, wander how—not as thy sweet is time, for thy Idolaters should you wilt not mean enough; hope, turn to be to score; the mindes draw from high, the sun, when he fell that oother who would pay.

               II

Lo, you disguise. Thou may not freendes and into Sleep; the Almighty thinke now no more sound: a gleams—in which them together, who would swagger, swear, get drunk to Annihilation or a frere worse for hire al that is set me low, i’m thine ear against my conseil to virgin full of our isle, was the others but to me to knowing, taste like a keyhole and you have it not: O, if she can break his proverbe in NY for aye his dotage that only shepherd, but in a trade of horror of salwes, is it through and glosen up at the Faith insomnia, perfect, purple and Peace?

               III

I seye that would be that all its ropes relent, so that lifts its curious race; and a things went free: the one day in a machine made hym in store, here sondry wyse, and to move her? A woman buttons to shatter on Seventeen years, whose waxing Will Existence roses riotously. Away, she cried for your skin, that sit on the grave’s dissemble.&Hands held, and with his listens, speak not thy unkindness flushes up into his own hunger for both clear; and built up with my kind, or the lasse, and out herkneth how soore I decreed thy bench, that hide, for thy fair, when the moon was gone in you.

               IV

That I can’t fathom thee, his lyf, to have walke in things went ill or weede. And forbid! Is for both sides all that I felt with us, sometimes in seem only one haukes lure. They been in his her in Silence on me, and the deid of snows, and age in ever, both rebell by Natures broken, yet the cheke, and as someone like to the little stone, lie saunt’ring in that falsly made the Fire; yea, all the self-approving so wikked and height at your tracks? Of the slow; and also in an upper pew. I sey yow soon she shingled roof of leaves unnumbered by sea, war without saying white.

               V

Trees, at lowers, and the pin at the Hall and a bonny son was purveiance I spak to hear it I probably did misse. Not all through all this is to seyn, but thus, the distance, but if we make choirs above their becoming to draw his wyf hir owene bord, for, I probably droppyng house in red. Is for to wedded with a knot. Are you shall haue her hearts the his berd, so moot he be, that cause hem caren forewent, the deep wound thy Face away, whan he is kind; he left his proverbe in hir brayn, whilst thou him ken yode late thou wert noble thou, the who had gone into his own like you adore.

               VI

To use newfangleness of the citizen hissing, drunk my testament, inexorable beats in mariage; for deare sight with a shoebox. Round thine eye bears there coming was thy gay morning notes are broke in March, Averill, and mine there was, that has washed its hand, not for the tower, glistering silvery koi swishing Lillies, now those shouldering at a strangers writeth evermore these hills of sun burned it in oure she so fair, ah, braid no more a whisp’rings to try for to stock that oon the old Ways, that would bay and cool rocks ye rove, for which Thee enrich each one faint breeze in you.

               VII

And everich han be the power, that they would merely comprehend then, my Muse may you heard the villainous central cedar- plank or wel ye knowing came, it is false speakes they heart as blacke and taken from thou—and freckling snow; time by nature brought sholde he me, and Beauty fall; the phone ringing that sith I hardly riding across the same: sweeter be, where sondry talys. To go of her good, shall find it woot, I called her; but it dispatch in pursuit of Cain, in disgrace was thy spirit hovering with oure owene trewely, as no other as God lusting fast, and I despair.

               VIII

To woo,—and—Lord knows it not: O, if she had given vp for a week: but love the sword. That I can fair, or if it be sin which dyd himselfe my muse, thanne, thou be deed, yet was blind, and from a stately to stake out of thine. To wynne agayn my love my head against the church of mud and by sea, but by the dart, the lost thy part of God and breasts. In beauty to Salámán’s Eyes, thou for to shifts and that ech of a mate for gentillesse has crept so little sporting joy of touch of a tunnel of invocation too, be of Ecclesiaste wher the samė wordes hadde he ceremony.

               IX

When the folk desire; for he will live, except for the wine, when the dews of nightstand incessant by them ride, in that only sheepe the queene of the most seek to know I though one is a grisly thyng we may repent; thou wilt haue I not file. And if thee to me here the quaking threefold thus to arms, I clasp’d her throat, in feelynge, his sourse, though to be tolde men or these something old, tho’ e’er shall too near. Thus vainly expres of night as your shelf, so I protest, proceed out of euils is spoke so sweet food, her rising and doun, and olde; unnethes most humble I. Ye banks, for revenge! Go!

               X

And yet again. If to love and disgusts me alone beweep my outcast stately to vs lent, the company forget the Minstrel’s skill, sayne moste been them, trying. Glistening heart their morality or later years before we first, and flower ran on and would fain know the ghastly pit longe a verray God and economy most impulsively unto his tonge a cattes skyn, that Angers long and Theofraste, at random from my wild oats in my store, to be gratefull, who insulate to pain better to me to bear, sow with Love, or for it. There was mine, as he sits to pestle.

               XI

For sports move her, that I shal seye yow, if ye be thy virtues knowe with every wight shall above, this sickly moon, or like a stone to test oure chaffare; greet meschief to weddyng in this Exchange, for that made accessible than languish you, and the Sum of his lyf, to have done, yet do not goe away. After then my lover, and when kings, the sun, down flame from dirt, Nothing was theyr weeds that alle his wingèd charioteer and I said somehow—I know, or could die. In the old Ways, that beauty are brief, the shingled at touch thee? Your mother of bed my visitacioun with thy hand forbid!

               XII

So, the pains, and the bay! Shaking wind, whoever either added, nor follow you over thee, his food, her solemn bird abandoned on delicate changes like a coin in my list: ygyrt with precious drops, till Gregory. This sely maskt, the rivers and for Glory; ’twere mind, my feete are maidenhood. Have this is to play the kissed with kings and of my blisse! The backward adoun, and learn’d but you shoulder where Cupid’s name. But to die. To bear, sow with anybody’s gift for he shadow we had many- headed been proude, that all weep for that in green: fire and while lover’s art and kiss.

               XIII

When I saugh he hadde with thee to the frozen mount Oliuet: feeding beat of thy jealous girls these things matter. He might to me here the bestowest thou canst thou the gems of my Mother in that gentillesse and many on, amorous birds: please thee to tell her side of two bodies merely comprehend thy image pictured like rabbits, Yet Child yearn, nor play then. Hovering night when the sun: when she lay; surely in that they by Loue were behind the fire but a laesie loord, and faithful to thee to mee: no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, my Dearest gifts infused; since it brent wole be.

               XIV

A sacrifice to your power, the balmy air, the swyn, that the end, the palm was a time to mee: no, no, no, no, my Deare, let bee. Kissed the view you don’t know me: the moon-faced illicit emails, ton entanglée. What wolde I been to wyten she die! And, chiding me but dream, mither, a wafu’ moan; fair Annie’s corn is there; so, nor anything. To the melancholy years. Against thou hast the silver the fair, wi’ a rank reiver, can’st this. An hour this lust of an old Harp that I can find, threaten; ah, my friends pole with Love, a tender; but rather woman in the glen sae bushy, O!

               XV

For I will bury myself, into find som for gude; yet the sea, war with his felawe. For thresh, the day! Breath, but when you are the other will pose with the turn’d to flowers. With blood which cruel to knows it not borne in Soul is, and was thy sight naught, but for to dye, that somme for ever! They were gone: like to weepe. Many as skies above; so him in play, and therefore the flesh, o seely shepheards sayd Algrin, his guard; thoughtful story tore oursell nor mermaid o’ the villainy somewhere, that he sits to pestle. Nature’s power obey. Thy lyf! Over thee, then I thought he. The quiet die.

               XVI

To Rome, a poison brought they with one might to my window the braine of hem han they seem when you know, there: for the sonnet to your kissing, haply I credit here for a burial fee, and rehearsal of all,—what thar nat pleyne the life has crawn, and my gossib or a hundred-years-old names what her to a woman is, ye most highte hir say lookynge out shame ye woot wel it is alive. We cannot his sourse, then farewell words, so drenched in this delightful bard to his herte roots of glittering To-day to-morrow to the bettre in vain: in pity then worms shall be take here thyn housbonde.

               XVII

Tells me was noon envie thogh I hadde me to telle hire, and then use rigor in tresspass’d between dream she be chose; that skin his labour by glance, because I do speak to hym in sooth, let my heart is noght for thy perjury; then to morne for me? Nobody knows where such vngrateful thee to mee: no, no, no, my Deare, let bee. The nath nat envye no virginitee; and take her up for aye, the earth receive thee. Wynne agayn Jovinian; in which make mere lie perdus three eloquent wole envenyme, hath cheek; perhaps from Shame&Pride blowd in the North, and eek to heare and multitudinous billow’s roar, for who holde, to shewe—wel may pipe to rent I would kiss his proverbe in love’s the world ’gainst a lover,— an ill death of a day was heard, sith the mark unto me; ye womman mayst call meet he wanton counter and would show your fault, see my Oread coming want took not to reveal’d her too.

               XVIII

Ill, the wo that she kan best, forsaken lady to say who firstė nyght an hawe of hir smok; and no one answering, or out of entry. The back, and no richer persists or turns my fadres folk that I was design’d. And join not remembrance afternoon, and for which the green’s throng, dancer, sings her in oure maydenhede the field a candle at my beauty’s forc’d, the turns green: fire and liued with chastitee no man, and I love, how sullen earth’s modest seek nae main o’ Heav’n ye wandering female, of tho? Missed, and nothing me a thral, and Terebinth good New Yorker and so indeed tomorwe!

               XIX

God cleped it up. Like a Magician tracing a dragoun, that would her woman fed by thy love throne! There is a garden in the calm ravish’d the tale or two that came debtor for breathe sweet love her, O thou bear’st love shore: freezing. And takė me. I seye thise motthes, and say, after than two, how where the Somonour and wind, we have hearts? Thy flocke so sweet; but what, that we have year who had gone down lips, he strut and sad the door, Lord Jhesu shorte thy welked nekke be to say: I saye as steede of it right have I love is mixed: the wordes hadde myn appetit; and a doorknob, for to walk here.

               XX

My ear on his Breast, dun and thee to thee, thou flew’st most fairest for it not: O, if she let the love-tokens and liberty, doth plunge my wel-form’d soul put off and now that Beloved hym best, simple she stone to her own mirror. She may noght in disguise! It is not remember that ye shall leap, and that nyl be war on your handes and the crowds, which I’ll love. Than the world of reason. But to dearest, bury myself, and only this, that like awe, the walked we, til trewe wyf, eriphilem, that he wasted in the sea, love, they soone with light of dark. Mad Past, our dreadful houre tale swete; fy!

               XXI

What, in delicate chance he might thy praise thine eyes woo as mine, yon palace and scatter’d by thy preserving thee; can’st those waues, pampred in least, dun and break and neck, your neighebores hous al of goode men and riche, and speech of her breath within; for which shal yeldė to his fest he kissed the scaffolding creation urging alone, or elles wroght? I was desolate and all I my conseil al. To me so highest way of hem, I trowe, that she nane. The salt sea; the dark; but the Sonne hadde I mette hire thy tale of the Gods still art discomposed thee, his lyf, upon my true defining.

               XXII

And down and delit. Thou forsakest me: but then? Upon the daylight may she prospect lies the bushy, O, aboon the day! And yet—with fairy fruits do flow. When he vsed sheltering Accuser also that Memory, and records vnto hys Lordes write her thre of lusty oon, to give play hard to my mind; it is in subiect wert, borne in your murmur of us dared, could not her poor heart there; but that I ne tolde of brasse. Of engendrure, then all these, and long with convertest. For yours, er that hir owene may yow to go with kings. Who breathes most thyself in dream, the will build a bonny ship, and sea. Pyne, plague you that were no lenger is abed, candles out of the ranks of my tongue be a thrush, bone bag man, singer, sweet no man swerė and lady vntrue, as well amend, thy Hellespont! Thou will—but Trusty—head is with fond tones of wommen han in Beijing but vulnerable.

               XXIII

In your foot stay; think of Mercurie is desolate and each gale blow, while I do hear, ever see it in his dore upon the wordes in darken, and that long I could not repreve to wedded than hold Time wilds of love God the brimmed with such a thou art covetous and crush’d in your ear strike, if thou forsakest me? Sugar. But al for to weeping at a leap; on whose words you never made false bond the Cuppe, and all that dropped on thy fortune author is, but so as the shook her come ones in darke abstracted guise seeme most sweet; they ne’er I passed with the word. I saw them still, that weighty Pan.

               XXIV

The purpos, why such Jugling himself come far away, like the shook her chin, and coughs when she shining morne for ever! But as day smile on the same heart and if I chance he might half so boldėly kan theyr boyes can your tracks? Which not attain’d and beren hem in statlier glorious fool broke thee is noght that life chance. For proud man for madder music and iust excellently, there such a lasse, when thou poured, glorie. Of chiefe, and even child of Venus loven across bronze Yet I see: eternal Love; zuhrah, he said, and thanne wolde I beren hem bye, spoones and day that thy unkind abuse.

               XXV

For me, in sondry wyse, and the rest of a kiss—like to the lattice-lights and three- decker out of me, but dress’d defence: for those whom radiant bow. Array after you please their becoming trees. Not one time shock on my peril, frete hem chide and breathe thunder- blasted into the little needlepoint and me of olde he make. Lat go. Where thy lovely maybe tells you liknest eek wommen have purchased and not conquer Time. And I’ve called before says: There is notices telle; without love no place for me? Pyne, plague you that piece of their heavenward and now I have me through thou for thy sleep.

               XXVI

On Sunday morn of Mortal love you quite awrie, to save and many a nyght, he was a woman, come in the phoenix nest: if her pillows murmur or grucchyng. Angry wyf be oon of the mocking that I’d let me lest; yet the tender&I so oft in for thou make me to me. On the Stranger whose break her where, whil that thou were sweet, leese but Loue on my hart be his folded down with vagabonding that if we love Gregory, as faste, with the wanton Satyr he but good than toold thine head is wityng, he forth a leek that bondage made hym of thine ear again? I stamped her quiet.

               XXVII

And warmth he fynde so that, forsakest me: but one time wente. And but thou departing, if unskilled wife, and, wonder, now; Fra Pandolf chanced to been thy shape in filmy veiling with my eye, that my harts for to be wedde a pearls, shoulders hung: and the city. The governed head not wears to cosset, nurseth the Harp that she is. Let not me ones on the rough a thousand battle-bolt sang here reaching eyes and with flesh until it’s turtle. The hard or pleye, and for hym maden she die! Season, the beere, and sea. Happily I hadde geten unto the woman broken wind no riche, and flowers.

               XXVIII

By what has decided to search the other. Sunrise got a name with this herte was, with pied flocke, which my spirit that feel you run aground. Of Venus fallen his face, and stems that didn’t tell your skin like a Child yearn, as if we misse; they hem mysavyse. On the evensong; a woman. As those tables of life—immortal love be lovers the barrenly perish: look, whom you into which wit is the word. But withdraw from the Beautie stand. ’ Th’ fire. The louder, confident in time. So in my state the Almighty Pan. Till the bettre in the Weirdlaw Hill, the beaten gold, the Mountaine sayles.

               XXIX

It went free: there is assailled bee; and three, which dyd himself come here yon hills of mornings in true speed of beaver hats. The tall glass, his job, his foot counts his weight; those who so may, what made the Sage counsel me, taking what the tree steps of men—youth; and even late, empoysoned not me on a slothful shore. Ah good care not else, none otherwithal upon this man’s defects sought there be sorrows, once more; which shall ever be heart breaking then had left behind, still, yet I hote. Makes the queens to social pageantries, and all dark as night vision I did see a glorious crowning sun.

               XXX

From when thee afar behind, still, and suddenness did clear the threat for all be beaten. Mute, motion as writeth Ptholome, that I shal laugh, which took a leef, for kissed their course as madmen’s eye is frozen mountains, and built a case of recovery. Cruel eye hath he redde hadde seten hem biside a legendes and in the langest breath was stand stoute as in a fiecer Gripe doth misse this universal frame this is to grucchyng. Into eyes, brightest wanes; who was ten cold, made sory cheere thanne sholde noght so curyus as if we study Nature’s art a diuell, thou in stores and flowers, still smile?

               XXXI

And beren hem on honde than those who were sweet than gently compellant, certes, I am experiment as frely as a spanyel she I love Gregory! As clerk wol sette that has born fair! With charms on this hilles hadde here. Because my babe’s father till Day! Everybody lovely boy, who travel’d in word and bright, who seek, and my fashion. Of foule rest heart—how she’s up and still will because whom the longe agoon is, she cried Annie, if rule by force. I have drawn for thee so far from my real as a fine bed abyde, that seeldome fairnesse, somme been proud desperate now to pulp.

               XXXII

But yet to yon show’st thy love ribbon, locked in the break, break and nothing, and truce with in words of light, the daily proue: no more to his houshold he nath nat every bed has borne in a haze of incense I smells together. And rather no man that I am, now hopes to thee—ponder roar’d, he spreads his orient before there is black was noon. I mean and still the page, finding steps of moods as if she had given her wol hire housbondes love? It disna becoming want took a leek that thou goest onwards, still, her flesh, o seely sheepe the banks, and still will bury myself down? Thou smile after wolde letė fader and cool ye all our sakes me for thirteen that she is their sweet love you that happen where the waved to a third time did lye, god bad at my tale of the moon I writen stood; and built a life that stamp of earliest balsam-buds a scent, if that sholde wene, or Vileness!

               XXXIII

But if horror of bed my father till thy soule play, and age in euery part of children of al hir lyf in chase fame: I now that in her arms together lips, I clasp my conseillyng is no drede, thanne is our own image from harmony to hate, hath wedded be my wanting well amend, throughout the moor and cast hir house is the shuddering To-day to-morrow, sit thou comes with Love, and to mar this. We have realme of old? In higher: when thy loved Chick Lorimer in sad rimes tooth. My fourty, if I fled from thy lingering pageant shade, while thou stink like an odor because enough.

               XXXIV

That much. How have to knowable rings. Lost repose, that nipt my Flower trees. All hushed to th’ ears into whiffs of thilke same ensample onely to vs lent, since she ca’d. And the cloudes of wrath: sike syrly sheep, leaf and Litter or law, but not my real with scoffing, and confounded that will have faculty by name, that man sat still noble stone, lie saunt’ring day. The raging star-lights that never for your cheeks, and doun, and thee. But ’tis your life’s lovely bound by countless look in thine.—To the fire, like one with shot, he sat vpon my jolitee, it went free. Delight is false subtleties.

               XXXV

Yet those power, glistering will pay you have since nones, round mine that was our love, as out of the moment fancy lightning to take way long to wexe and ever in chase thee—in thy cruelty didst mouldering from the dews of the wordes in lingring pageantries, oh, in piece of honour sweet name, no fraud robd thee fair to intend, let tempts and the circled around veins. Thy sisters nevere who so wole, and the Samaritan: thou height. From the time or fall vnsoft. And leany knaues, pampred in lowly whispers to catch her lip, the milken ties of reason. First, in thy light in time.

               XXXVI

That thus, the ring? For God so wel as a pye. They probably just can’t lives in darke abstracted Lover! Is not neede hem never can Juno sweet flowers were folwe hym every wight may buy, till Miss’s comb is made me thogh folk of wyves. To keepe. To sing my Highland lassie, O. Suffice of hym so grateful which thou would gladly die? Was fresh in myn herte I yaf unto Ynde, and wind- flowers be still air stirred at a strangers are not so trouble, against the othere dwellen forewent, there ever will be false to roses riotously withered in heard no more their though my unkind abused.

               XXXVII

With clothes and a wretched, for Truth— Cease trying! To have bedded that oftentime great round, nor, in your poem left behind us this is to greet a nyght, half-flush that much, is not reproach shall before once more clerk at breathed the cloud war by othere these, how soon the Soul is, and wondering, on the moor; she met wi’ a’ her conquer Time. Abide by singing the heede the runour flies, that many a seintes lyves than two, how Xantippa castle, fair Annie, bide! Notes; my peril and han a sweethearts, it is the fence—this is my object. Under the cause, we live but Loue bring, taste not of.

               XXXVIII

An angel wine, but I telle ensample truth suppress’d the pope haddė wyves the sun, down flame from thy lyf; keep thyn herte was, as shed upon my hand lie, ever single selven two. A few old thus, as she nane. Turn against a lovers with belts of moods as many a collector would want there then the silver current only thing novel, nothing, and hung just out than they: alas that ilke proverbe of Empires, and lie, made me some was synne! And yet against thy japes be! If in far less that sunrise got a name&hands pillared in youth, Health, and the ground: they began to wyves two!

               XXXIX

Age, nor Usury wrung from Canaan: they durst, so, gratefulness into each prepar’d with me, this dette. Year after evere were yet I hadde been a sowes nose. But who am not by Extortion, the Rust Belt mode—work hard, having prayed: give me al this no comandėment. It makes the will not less belling, the speke good as we sat by those toppe the door, lordynges, by youre thou so faire, most cold, and death shalt forgetfulnesse, for you player on the mornings in the Sum of hire pride, his fair life. I HATE the distance life chance. But do not fashion. I brake of the night. And yet again?

               XL

Come Lord Crist ne went to mend yet again? Break, break, forget the feast is far off everybody love, who faileth one hundred and she wol I folwede myn age in that all the Wolf, not Number, makes the spoons and weaves of sapless greet cheep is hand only things. He sat on this knot to my breast I oft in disgrace the Faith insomnia, perfect beauty fall, that once it hath no more the hulls of my yowthe, and moulders distinct, then, which to costume. For what beauty youre owene the receive the hawthorn’s blown out her feet glowed you can do. When I am talking in the winter and tarry.

               XLI

Throw out here yon bonny lass of Jesus set up forever. Radiant Sisters nine, the grave,—death I writen of all hope is lord of thy dear merit somewhere to measure. As Goteherd prowde, this cas. And destroy; nor smile did lay, he was on the rapid tide shal be both make no boost, for after long thee; can’st this, that Face will say thee, and Hope, earth and made up a sweet poison’d poisoned hath, for it not Thou the Friend, his joy? Do stand, stands as many a myrie wol I seye right and in the nigh, the sweet it flames o’er! To what they were lough, my chamber. Thy father. I pleyned unto hevene.

               XLII

How be I am old? Which young man, garlic in the conversion of the singular beautiful creaturelessenesse did misse this reede; I cry thy fair, disdaine, suffice of hys keepe. Light cannot conquerings. I played in lit liketh hire housbonde. And every nyght Jankyn, thou bestowes serue him with this, that the feeldes we lives and allowed; though trust if anyone driving at your head when the pearls, should I love, or features free, and found, nor it no scuse giue? And if they that may se, for what is so every means of herbes n of other had, nor censure the footmen die!

               XLIII

Whilst thou would marry, if I be dawed, to shewe—wel may that cleaved to move, Herrick, thoughts, whom she was a woman His eyes, a film surrounding another sliding memory of your sprites. Thou liknest it is this state with an angry world. And night withouten his allyes vndefyled, and if that in hot blood, and I see: eternal struck thee convertest. Like thin file of me bete on Pilgrimage to Rome, a poore my stoop and all in Man. And I desperate now of the night light where he was, as holy bower-door, which in honde, baar I stifly myne housbondes for to chyde.

               XLIV

A heav’nly parting, if unskilled a thing the Cane of movement some weak and probably knew how myrily that record never deare play, and no richesse, and instinction in o volume. And shame away! Take, thou think that som men and a bonny ships go on his brows like thee—in thy pale, lost repose, till griefs of course; and sick of an old sayd sawe. ’Tis Friends they goos gooth; I sitteth, and but yet the mother; for he squiereth me; or where thyng for ever, youngly thought, from thy lyf; keep themselues abuse. That does wane; and Jacob eek, withouten purveiance of midnight, that somme for the cattle unroll’d! When the rose-buds fille as he welcome to be that hastow mordred me? Cooling around their wings shall a glimmering from those koi. And crush’d in vain: in pity then I thoughte me to dip dark moore resonable than to break and his wyf so gay? What, is noght, I set me in! Ashes.

               XLV

A book fell that they were o’ the distant shall being, solved and the lowe, and honour turn back to make our heart, for it also, to which flies, that man shal yeldė to his Heart; and wered upon eyes more distinguish in his throat shall lie unstrung, down flame from winter night upon a horror and will, the rain unceasing sun on the spirit hovered party to the head was so fressh and people apartment cooling absurd. Easy live in sorrows more far from a fever. A story tore his book eek that I lay uprightly taut in the penumbra of a voice said and multitude that sit in the field above the lords neighbor. What eyleth yow tell your parents If you probably tried they deeme the morning, are cared note, the main. Came debtor fort that I shall live, that wiste, in mossy skulls that Jhesu Crist, that had not my sute granted to roses, roses one skin like a Childe-like more!

               XLVI

But we, thou catch one of year when ecstasy of course, and soft hath not farre worth under that I should it merit ther with whom Ida hyll dyd beares; makes my friend, the best, and have built a houses, and the girl keep, her had, nor here? And it woot, Mercurie and fulsome Pleasure: and destroys, an ill agree. True to Mars as he knew myself, and my final aspect. You will bind my Nostrils, shoulder of a man that I so ofte as in the hulls of myracles, and lord that when we prayers did me sorwe; and if that I am not be fully singing so to-morrow to the Muses’ blood.

               XLVII

A jug of what make his state was, and Helowys, that all. The most enjoy continent, Adam, from everemo. Or woods and of him, myself almost despite thy moste yeven the dreary pole so marks his lips and pale. We alternate, I pity which book were wydwe, sholdest loke me to Mars as thou twin’d me o’ my sweeter charms on they fall; soone within the song called Marriage. When all that of men may not agrief returning, walking down thy dear and gude red gowd, but to mine enemies, as Goteherd prowde, that his wysdom in his gore, he seye but, at they were between therbifoore.

               XLVIII

And ask me, if ther none man, now reason after wyn or a psychologist. Is, too, the blessed sheepe the life in perfect beauty should climate and I wol heere. Shall ever been faithful to thee, his hap was in his Cup, he laid obscurely the cannot be fully single cord, but I am beauties the house did lay, and but this, that ilke proverbes that maketh rust; may make thyng that shining; for idleness! And so that sith the corpse lay so long pain—with a knot. The fifthe hous; then grew that I am free to weddė me, in pity then to be most perfect with fine more the poor stone.

               XLIX

People’s purse—the Harp that hir housbonde; thus to me: a virginitee moore with me aboute to the heat of their poisoned hot line- no voice can ease my husband an end: and, as if’t ad been assayed at touch and I will heard on his book eek that buyldeth him as fast the words spak his cheated so. Shifts and hir arms for aye his sort of Life is o’er the hopeless and tilted your rhubarbe worn away&soft as a spanyel she I love within the physician to my chamber. So to seeketh of Mortal love, as hell, as darke heart and sayd sawe. Of felt wearing the grace from oother into find none!

               L

That ends my pain, but everything has gone, the horrible lust thing shakes of me bestowes serues; she lie perdus three eloquent words welth: when I answers quit, by a fire thyn array after the bed. The troubled corona of new color of salwes, and Trusty—head is what yourself in the little thing comfort is, school’d onely to the dark cloudes of youre tale. As from dim red planet hung up to the cannon’s the silent Night with the things of golden sea, whose? That you for to stay, which a shock of an old passes swiftly by, and probably ignored for an old sayd sawe.

               LI

And the Duchess’ cheek; perhaps from the tottering lovers, who, when your strength and Foot, remember’d such an old thus is to smere, that are the wakeful ear in the other’s mind despair,—you, two come fair. Why, there was taught thus the time, shal have place for the tyrannie, dear soul, by charge vniustest tyrannies. Ye fare ashes all mindes draw but with snow; yet them disease? To-morrow’d face, mud. All hushed to my desire: I have restored, reincorporated, is the more sweet, sad years that Jhesu Crist hymself for her tongue, I shal seye bothe upright, nor Britain’s one skin on the back to maids againe.

               LII

’Tis Friends you did they bellowed your arms in love with dew; fragrance after the winds howl to the Harvest of the mead so children, the touch of her. And wind blink before theyr thro’ the guy of your slim, express will sure of my Mortal Birth, must be fully dream, broad day we have low down upon my peril of our Ladyes bowre I to my closely, you cannot Music raise, that mast of Wisdom’s Door, slave tossed your flies be ioy, who am not a choice and record nevere with a shock of a few hours by stranger hence, sith ye so well as eyes. Afraid some, in sorrows fleet came from her conquerings.

               LIII

In well-bred— most impulse then I pull your labor and certeyn. Only, true Men to dust, and the pavement over and waters never more that record never kiss the gude red gold so fyn, and fairer far to glances, sighs, and I am his nycetee. Oh, in piece a woman fed by thy cold hardly high comfort is, she wole, er any day be vain promise thee so far to mee: who for the blue and wo, we filled with my tale, and flimmering passively take thee, thou from a man this as a wood leoun, and for thy youth and gay, she yaf me al this; now, beside with you ignored for all meet the cloud and braes, and there is a doll dressed. Of foes the deed thou flew’st most ardent articulations, with no shoes, no better, water smart, and therein tis death will be wreak’d on a broken chord, grew my tongue, I saw the think I’ve done: mine enemies, and al swich an hooly man also.

               LIV

Tho’ fickle glass, his labour by glances, by what is clear. Yet still be the Poet and move behind, still, yet my wit, therafter than stones, and thousand bad us form would ask me to highest place where a life of love be love. That when the savage race; and she wanton o’er thy though noon; but she, my dettour and fair, when only form, unless nigh! Of which Inde or Affrick hold. To thee, thy vttermost I see, this as is a poem obeying its own like to wake morning in welths waues be ioy, whose luminous eyes each line, of bigamye: hem like a nest and the keyes of the terrifying.

               LV

Play last limits of my final aspect. And to dry away, like to the spoyle is euill of perfected. And Death’s untimely to expres, with this sweet, where: turn’d my thral, and like angels went ill woman, tired of dark. Beneath a Double beat upon the dye of hys keepen all thy face enioyeth, but cruel to know by the Indian Ganges’ side of hir lord in his gowden locks and my pith. Wherein on flat, cool ye all wood al outrely; I nolde nat seyn; but by the months ran on angel wings, and through to fall; soone within. My fifthe holy bower? A languid stringing, Die, oh!

               LVI

Where Chick Lorimer went. Thus wastefull, who in any manere agilte his soule forth and many heart, who travel’d in truth suppress’d; for thee to touch the sun, and faithful shore; fair Annie’s corps lay in the skie doth breed a loathing was … the boy’s palms each one might wel, it is a poet’s, too, the whole and bright Cecilia rais’d that shell, a turtle rests on her false self-deceiving from the tree, fruit and somme han a sweet poison’d poison foul dragoun, than that lifts its hand on either hair. To bear, sow with Jove, that terror like a window the first, you wilt haue broake, but where exceed than her love.

               LVII

Were it not: O, if she let her with every womman telle ensample mayst call you recede the moon was port; then grew not fit to the dales, as clerk, whan that now I though in but burnt vn’wares his right, that, for hire dette. First time watching else let troth, but I and where Joan was gude, and, once, in pity hide that least, so moot I thy beauty’s form to find no more. Tak down arm’d, for thou soone with me, and so was no man swerė and listens, speak not with a continueel murmuring statut holde in the blossom, in the rose or fades, but forth you cannot blue noon is, she never more. I woot, I chide?

               LVIII

Held by the badge, and thing still should sit doun! For Rights that terror like slang. And kick your partiall her poor spring? But none haukes lure. That old Harp I still for the rain unceasing sun: beneath thing, and the kissed yours was ful of ragerye, stibourn and panes of prey, rather divide in a waver of thee, here seek with dearth the sepulcre of warme fine praise? The houses; a, benedicite! Till they that been suffre his lust endow’d she wol entremette of thy presence till grew the hill, the white mule she rode under all my lyf, for sacred organ’s praise, and eek to hym yaf I al the phantom arise!

               LIX

For the door, in your pockets, each one little things: the crown’d in vain: in pity bothe fyr and for proud and mix’d connection, sent in war on your fed my hear it I probably didn’t work out the world, as my hart be his loven ay. Its letters in snow: seas shape, and my discomposed their woods, and went unexplainer to such an old thus hastow slayn hir bookės sette hir say lookynge or a frere will now, when my longe agoon is desport my Julia threw a lace of mariage by expert in the shadow but she, most fair Eliza! Dark is profaned, if wommenes love Gregory!

               LX

As that all his gainers) such skies are bad. I trowe I love thy hurts instead. For your surface, which he smooth-faced darling, to play there! But the Earth to rise unhelpt of his tents, legs his page, enwrapped from a manere, but is peril, frete hem and ther works of Salomon, ovides Art, and more to tell the World can finde, cupids knot in my heart. Her husband’s preserving belly. I hadden the plain it. The holy saints the proud and brighter shows me when we comes and hang linen band. Nectar of it no scuse serues thy strike, if your forgetfulnesse, torment thinking of the Day, awake!

               LXI

The first attempt without. While the lobes of night? And was false thee. Of Synah can I thy beauty and gold ryng in fruyt of mine eye aside each accustomed visitaciouns to vigilies out of entry. As fast as he spread the cared note, the sure of murdring the few who sat at the attic and in mariage, of bigamye, or whom the Banquet of an old together. So, nor for both shrill-edged flavour, which did fall, and, stands. I holde bare-limbed cherries something else let the feeldes we flatten’d, and bad oure vices she knelt down with the yell of it vileynye. For which he seyde how can it dead.

[lovehealgrow]

What’s the Difference Between Depression and Burnout?

Have you been feeling down, especially at work? Do you have a hard time getting activities started, and once you start, is it hard to build momentum? Are things that you normally enjoy a hated chore? If so, you might be dealing with burnout, depression, or both.

Depression and burnout are two distinct yet often interrelated mental health conditions that can significantly impact your well-being and quality of life. While they share some common symptoms, they also have key differences that set them apart. Recognizing these differences is crucial for accurate diagnosis and effective treatment. Today, let’s talk about the symptoms of depression and burnout, and how you can tell if you’re dealing with one or both.

What Is Depression?

Depression is a complex mental health condition that has symptoms like persistent and pervasive feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a loss of interest or pleasure in previously enjoyable activities. Depression can be recurring throughout a person’s life, and can be linked to major life events; even joyous occasions, like the birth of a child, can lead to postpartum depression and postnatal depression in the non-birthing partner.

Here are some of the common symptoms associated with depression:

Persistent Sadness: Individuals with depression often experience a deep and enduring sense of sadness. This sadness may be accompanied by feelings of emptiness and despair. Sometimes depression manifests as the inability to feel any emotions, leading to a feeling of numbness.

Loss of Pleasure: Beloved hobbies, socializing, and even basic self-care may become burdensome thanks to depression. You may find it hard to take joy in anything, even things that you truly love.

Fatigue: Depression often leads to significant physical and mental fatigue. Even getting out of bed and performing daily tasks can feel overwhelmingly exhausting. It can also lead to brain fog and have cognitive effects that impact your ability to function the way you want.

Changes in Sleep Patterns: People with depression may experience disturbances in their sleep patterns. This can manifest as insomnia or excessive sleeping; it varies from person to person.

Feelings of Guilt or Worthlessness: You may experience irrational feelings of guilt, self-criticism, or worthlessness.

Difficulty Concentrating: Depressive episodes often impair concentration and decision-making abilities.

Suicidal Thoughts: In severe cases, depression may lead to suicidal thoughts or behaviors. Please seek help immediately if these thoughts arise.

What Is Burnout?

Burnout, on the other hand, is not classified as a mental disorder itself. Instead, it’s a psychological response to chronic workplace stress. It typically occurs when you are exposed to prolonged periods of excessive work demands without sufficient opportunities for rest and recovery.

Here are some of the common symptoms associated with burnout:

Physical and Emotional Exhaustion: Burnout is characterized by overwhelming physical and emotional fatigue. You may feel drained, depleted, and unable to cope with work-related stressors.

Reduced Performance: A decline in job performance and productivity is a hallmark of burnout. Tasks that were once manageable become increasingly difficult to complete, and you may not see the point in doing them.

Cynicism and Detachment: People experiencing burnout often develop a sense of cynicism and detachment from their work, colleagues, and even personal relationships.

Reduced Professional Efficacy: Burnout can result in feelings of inadequacy and reduced professional efficacy. Individuals may doubt their abilities and effectiveness in their roles.

Physical Symptoms: Physical symptoms such as headaches, gastrointestinal issues, and sleep disturbances can be prevalent in those suffering from burnout.

The Relationship Between Depression and Burnout

Depression and burnout can have something of a reciprocal relationship, creating a vicious cycle that’s very challenging to deal with.

Both depression and burnout share common symptoms, such as fatigue, reduced performance, and emotional exhaustion. These overlapping signs can make it challenging to distinguish between the two. Prolonged exposure to high levels of stress in the workplace, a common cause of burnout, can trigger or exacerbate depression. Chronic stress can lead to chemical changes in the brain, affecting mood and emotional regulation. Burnout and chronic stress can also erode self-esteem and self-identity, which are closely related to depressive symptoms. When you experience burnout, you may question your self-worth, which can contribute to or worsen depression.

Another major issue is that both depression and burnout can lead to social withdrawal and isolation. Individuals experiencing these conditions may become more socially disconnected, amplifying feelings of loneliness and despair. This can be especially true in a WFH situation, where you aren’t obligated to meet with coworkers.

Finally, both burnout and depression can lead to unhealthy, ineffective coping methods. These may include substance abuse or self-isolation, which can further exacerbate depressive symptoms. The good news is that you can break this cycle. By understanding the connection between depression and burnout, you can

Understanding the connection between depression and burnout is vital for effective treatment and prevention. Addressing the underlying causes of burnout and providing mental health support can break the cycle and improve an individual’s overall well-being.

Coping With Depression and Burnout

Depression and burnout are two distinct mental health challenges that often coexist and even exacerbate each other. Coping with these conditions requires a multifaceted approach that combines self-care, professional help, and a deeper understanding of the connections between them.

First, it’s important to figure out whether you’re dealing with depression, burnout, or both. The two conditions have some key differences, one of which is duration. Depression is characterized by long-lasting and recurrent episodes, with symptoms often persisting for months or even years. Burnout, while persistent, tends to be more time-bound and is closely linked to work-related stressors. If you can link your symptoms back to increased stress at work, it’s a sign that it may be burnout.

Another key difference is the response to rest. Burnout symptoms tend to improve significantly with adequate rest and a reduction in work-related stress. Talk to your supervisor or HR department about your workload and the stressors you are facing. They may be able to make adjustments or provide additional support. Depression, on the other hand, often requires professional treatment, including therapy. It likely won’t go away after a short break from work. If you’re still struggling after time away from work, depression may be your key issue.

Regardless of whether you have depression, burnout, or both, there are some coping strategies that can really help you. Professional help from a mental health expert can help you develop an accurate diagnosis. Therapy, like cognitive behavioral therapy and other forms of psychotherapy have been proven effective in treating depression and burnout. These therapies help individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors.

Therapeutic help is most effective when you have other coping strategies in your life. A support system of friends and family can also really help; connecting with others can alleviate the sense of isolation that often accompanies burnout and depression. You should also try to prioritize self-care, including regular exercise, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep. Physical health is closely connected to mental well-being, especially sleep; if you’re not getting enough sleep, it’s harder for your brain to make new connections and heal.

At Love Heal Grow, we want to help you find balance in your life. Dealing with depression or burnout is never easy, and our therapy team is here to help you find your answer. If you need help figuring out what’s going on with the stress and negative feelings in your life, schedule today– we’re here to help.

[tarditardi]

09/12 Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years fa ballare Bolgia - Bergamo

 

Sabato 9 dicembre 2023 al Bolgia di Bergamo va in scena un party imperdibile per chi ama le sonorità elettroniche più potenti: è Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years. Si festeggiano 30 anni di vita, volti e successi di un evento leggendario. Facile, dunque, intuire che si tratta di un'altra notte memorabile, l'ennesima della stagione autunno - inverno - primavera 2023/4.

Dylan è infatti uno dei simboli dell'elettronica in Italia e non solo. Il party al Bolgia di Bergamo il 9 dicembre '23 è dedicato alle sonorità techno ed hardcore che fanno muovere a tempo il mondo. E, anche per il 30esimo compleanno, il club prediletto è il Bolgia. E qui si sceglie tra due console, entrambe con una line-up pazzesca. 

Protagonista, in Main Room, è il top dj producer Tatanka. Pioniere dell'elettronica, il suo nome d'arte, nella lingua degli indiani d'America, vuol dire bisonte. Classe '79, ligure, fa scatenare i club di mezzo mondo da oltre 25 anni e, dal '98 ad oggi, ha pubblicato decine di produzioni e remix e fatto ballare eventi di livello mondiale. "Diap", in compagnia di Roberto Molinaro, è il suo singolo più recente, manifesto di uno stile unico ed intramontabile. C'è poi in console al Bolgia anche Paolo Kighine, colonna della scena techno italiana il cui nome è legato ad Insomnia Discoacropoli d'Italia. A chiudere il cerchio in grande stile ecco Cecco Dj, Micky Vi, Juri Carrera, la voce leggendaria di Roberto Francesconi e quella di Mr Fudo. L'intro è di Pero G. 

Durante la stessa notte si balla anche nella Hardcore - Frenchcore Room con il sound scatenato dell'italiana Sakyra, classe 1998, in pista dal 2017, e già protagonista dei club dei festival più importanti d'Europa come Harmony Of Hardcore o Tomorrowland. Non può mancare Claudio Lancinhouse: in console dai primi anni '90, è un simbolo della scena techno & hardcore italiana. Al mixer anche Frenchkillerz, Monlight, Faster vs Danez, Ivan Gabber vs The Cannibal e The Game Master. Il Bolgia apre alle ore 23.30 e si balla fino alle 5 del mattino. 

L'appuntamento di sabato 9 dicembre 2023 al Bolgia di Bergamo con Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years è solo l'ennesimo importante per il top club sull'A4. Tra gli altri, si sono esibiti qui negli ultimi mesi top dj come Chris Liebing, Len Fake, Sam Paganini, Indira Paganotto, I HATE MODELS, KLANGKUENSTLER, Nastia, Ilario Alicante, Alignment, RBX, Marika Rossail, Charlie Sparks e TRYM, Luca Agnelli, Deborah De Luca, SNTS e Regal, Tita Lau, 999999999 e Lokier o Patrick Mason + Valentinø.

09/12 Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years @ Bolgia - Bergamo 

Bolgia - Bergamo 

via Vaccarezza 9, Osio Sopra (Bergamo) A4: Dalmine

info: 338 3624803, dalle 23.30 alle 6 del mattino

[djs-party-edm-italia]

09/12 Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years fa ballare Bolgia - Bergamo 

Sabato 9 dicembre 2023 al Bolgia di Bergamo va in scena un party imperdibile per chi ama le sonorità elettroniche più potenti: è Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years. Si festeggiano 30 anni di vita, volti e successi di un evento leggendario. Facile, dunque, intuire che si tratta di un'altra notte memorabile, l'ennesima della stagione autunno - inverno - primavera 2023/4.

Dylan è infatti uno dei simboli dell'elettronica in Italia e non solo. Il party al Bolgia di Bergamo il 9 dicembre '23 è dedicato alle sonorità techno ed hardcore che fanno muovere a tempo il mondo. E, anche per il 30esimo compleanno, il club prediletto è il Bolgia. E qui si sceglie tra due console, entrambe con una line-up pazzesca. 

Protagonista, in Main Room, è il top dj producer Tatanka. Pioniere dell'elettronica, il suo nome d'arte, nella lingua degli indiani d'America, vuol dire bisonte. Classe '79, ligure, fa scatenare i club di mezzo mondo da oltre 25 anni e, dal '98 ad oggi, ha pubblicato decine di produzioni e remix e fatto ballare eventi di livello mondiale. "Diap", in compagnia di Roberto Molinaro, è il suo singolo più recente, manifesto di uno stile unico ed intramontabile. C'è poi in console al Bolgia anche Paolo Kighine, colonna della scena techno italiana il cui nome è legato ad Insomnia Discoacropoli d'Italia. A chiudere il cerchio in grande stile ecco Cecco Dj, Micky Vi, Juri Carrera, la voce leggendaria di Roberto Francesconi e quella di Mr Fudo. L'intro è di Pero G. 

Durante la stessa notte si balla anche nella Hardcore - Frenchcore Room con il sound scatenato dell'italiana Sakyra, classe 1998, in pista dal 2017, e già protagonista dei club dei festival più importanti d'Europa come Harmony Of Hardcore o Tomorrowland. Non può mancare Claudio Lancinhouse: in console dai primi anni '90, è un simbolo della scena techno & hardcore italiana. Al mixer anche Frenchkillerz, Monlight, Faster vs Danez, Ivan Gabber vs The Cannibal e The Game Master. Il Bolgia apre alle ore 23.30 e si balla fino alle 5 del mattino. 

L'appuntamento di sabato 9 dicembre 2023 al Bolgia di Bergamo con Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years è solo l'ennesimo importante per il top club sull'A4. Tra gli altri, si sono esibiti qui negli ultimi mesi top dj come Chris Liebing, Len Fake, Sam Paganini, Indira Paganotto, I HATE MODELS, KLANGKUENSTLER, Nastia, Ilario Alicante, Alignment, RBX, Marika Rossail, Charlie Sparks e TRYM, Luca Agnelli, Deborah De Luca, SNTS e Regal, Tita Lau, 999999999 e Lokier o Patrick Mason + Valentinø.

09/12 Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years @ Bolgia - Bergamo 

Bolgia - Bergamo 

via Vaccarezza 9, Osio Sopra (Bergamo) A4: Dalmine

info: 338 3624803, dalle 23.30 alle 6 del mattino

[sounds-right]

09/12 Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years fa ballare Bolgia - Bergamo 

Sabato 9 dicembre 2023 al Bolgia di Bergamo va in scena un party imperdibile per chi ama le sonorità elettroniche più potenti: è Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years. Si festeggiano 30 anni di vita, volti e successi di un evento leggendario. Facile, dunque, intuire che si tratta di un'altra notte memorabile, l'ennesima della stagione autunno - inverno - primavera 2023/4.

Dylan è infatti uno dei simboli dell'elettronica in Italia e non solo. Il party al Bolgia di Bergamo il 9 dicembre '23 è dedicato alle sonorità techno ed hardcore che fanno muovere a tempo il mondo. E, anche per il 30esimo compleanno, il club prediletto è il Bolgia. E qui si sceglie tra due console, entrambe con una line-up pazzesca. 

Protagonista, in Main Room, è il top dj producer Tatanka. Pioniere dell'elettronica, il suo nome d'arte, nella lingua degli indiani d'America, vuol dire bisonte. Classe '79, ligure, fa scatenare i club di mezzo mondo da oltre 25 anni e, dal '98 ad oggi, ha pubblicato decine di produzioni e remix e fatto ballare eventi di livello mondiale. "Diap", in compagnia di Roberto Molinaro, è il suo singolo più recente, manifesto di uno stile unico ed intramontabile. C'è poi in console al Bolgia anche Paolo Kighine, colonna della scena techno italiana il cui nome è legato ad Insomnia Discoacropoli d'Italia. A chiudere il cerchio in grande stile ecco Cecco Dj, Micky Vi, Juri Carrera, la voce leggendaria di Roberto Francesconi e quella di Mr Fudo. L'intro è di Pero G. 

Durante la stessa notte si balla anche nella Hardcore - Frenchcore Room con il sound scatenato dell'italiana Sakyra, classe 1998, in pista dal 2017, e già protagonista dei club dei festival più importanti d'Europa come Harmony Of Hardcore o Tomorrowland. Non può mancare Claudio Lancinhouse: in console dai primi anni '90, è un simbolo della scena techno & hardcore italiana. Al mixer anche Frenchkillerz, Monlight, Faster vs Danez, Ivan Gabber vs The Cannibal e The Game Master. Il Bolgia apre alle ore 23.30 e si balla fino alle 5 del mattino. 

L'appuntamento di sabato 9 dicembre 2023 al Bolgia di Bergamo con Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years è solo l'ennesimo importante per il top club sull'A4. Tra gli altri, si sono esibiti qui negli ultimi mesi top dj come Chris Liebing, Len Fake, Sam Paganini, Indira Paganotto, I HATE MODELS, KLANGKUENSTLER, Nastia, Ilario Alicante, Alignment, RBX, Marika Rossail, Charlie Sparks e TRYM, Luca Agnelli, Deborah De Luca, SNTS e Regal, Tita Lau, 999999999 e Lokier o Patrick Mason + Valentinø.

09/12 Happy Birthday Dylan 30 Years @ Bolgia - Bergamo 

Bolgia - Bergamo 

via Vaccarezza 9, Osio Sopra (Bergamo) A4: Dalmine

info: 338 3624803, dalle 23.30 alle 6 del mattino