#im a creature that needs interaction to survive

[aitadjcrazytimes]

Hi, I saw your tags:

I was wondering. Um. Would you be comfortable sharing what other symptoms you have?

I've had memory problems for years but every time I look them up I just get stuff like alzheimers and car crashes and stuff, which doesnt apply. Idk

I was wondering if this might be me also. I'll talk to a doctor, of course, but. Just wondering what the general vibe is

Sure! Though, be aware, if you Can get evaluated for your symptoms you probably should, at least to make sure it isn't degenerative.

Via-a-vis the ABI (That's Acquired Brain Injury), part of the reason it took so long to diagnose is because

I already have a different diagnosis of cEDS (Classical Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) that explained several of my other symptoms

I have GAD and PTSD due to living in a very abusive and dangerous environment up until about 5 months ago, and

At least two of my family members are autistic, so it was just kind of vaguely assumed that any weirdness regarding my sensory processing and so on was because of that.

So! To summarize (and I put this below a cut because it gets Long).

Chiari Malformation is when you have a defect in the base of your skull that puts pressure on your cerebellum, causing part of it to go into your spinal column. Many people with this condition don't experience any symptoms, but that is not always the case, and even with no symptoms, it does place you at a much higher risk for a brain injury. With a Chiari Malformation, even a mild concussion can cause serious damage.

I have had several concussions, with one of them knocking me out for several minutes when I was very young. So. Here we are.

Regarding treatments for Chiari, most of what can be done is simply treating the symptoms. Unless there is concern about the condition getting worse (more memory loss, paralysis, etc.), patients will likely be referred elsewhere to discuss pain management, because from my understanding, the only effective treatment for Chiari is a decompression surgery, which will remove part of your skull to take pressure off the brain. It's not terribly risky as brain surgeries go, but the best brain surgery is, of course, no brain surgery.

Re my Physical symptoms:

I get headaches very frequently, and often very severely. They have been categorized as migraines in the past, because they come with severe light and sound sensitivity, and they tend to knock me out for hours. That said, they don't meet all the criteria for a migraine, including having no aura to speak of. They are often triggered by strain and jostling my head--by coughing, sneezing, vomiting, jumping, or anything that would cause motion sickness.

I have poor balance. I have found that walking with a cane helps, but physical therapy doesn't do all that much (because it's in my brain and not my muscles).

I also struggle with chronic fatigue. Getting out of bed is a real struggle most days, as is getting anything done outside of simply going to work and then coming home--although I recently went on an antidepressant, which has helped a bit.

Insomnia! I have trouble sleeping. It comes and goes, sometimes I get several days worth of restful sleep, but sometimes I get only a few hours worth of sleep over the course of a week.

Shooting and burning pain in back of skull, neck, spine, shoulders, and chest. Be careful with this one, because this can also be a result of a heart issue. That said, I've had my heart checked out, and that's all good, which is why they checked the brain in the first place.

As for my cognitive symptoms, it's a bit fuzzier, because like I said before, I have PTSD, I have the ABI, I have GAD, several of my family members are somewhere on the autism spectrum, and now my therapist is also having me evaluated for OSDD. So, your mileage may vary. But essentially:

Memory loss. Some of it is retrograde, and I have found that I'll forget significant events and people. Most of it is anterograde, or short term--so, forgetting what a conversation is about while I'm in the middle of a sentence, and either having to improvise and try to make a guess as to what I was talking about, or having to have my conversation partner walk back what we were talking about to explain what we were doing. I have to have a very detailed and elaborate task tracker at work in order to stay on top of things, or I would simply forget it all. I also have the experience of feeling like all of my memories are stories that were told to me. So, I rarely experience a memory as a thing that happened to me, complete with sights and sounds and feelings and sensations and so on, but more like a story that someone told to me once. So, a vague recollection of events and the order in which they happened. This makes it difficult to differentiate between my own memories and stories that other people have told me. It has happened a few times that I have told a story of something that happened to me, only to find out that it actually happened to the person I was talking to instead, and I just got confused.

I'm not sure what to call this one, but I get EXTREMELY easily distracted from processing audio, especially in an environment with more than one thing happening. If I am having a verbal conversation with someone in a restaurant, and someone comes and sits at the table next to us and starts talking, I become almost incapable of conversation. If I'm talking to someone and someone turns on the TV in the next room, I become almost incapable of conversation. If music is playing, I lose track of the conversation. I forget everything I was saying. I won't be able to understand what other people are saying. Spending time in loud, busy, or crowded environments is not that distressing by itself, but I will not be able to hold a conversation.

Aphasia and Verbal Processing. It is incredibly difficult for me to put words together in a way that is coherent. It is significantly easier through writing, because I can look things up and take my time with it. But in vocal conversation, I will frequently have verbal shutdowns where I cannot find a word, and all of my language processing shuts down while I try to comprehend what I was talking about. This often leads to...

Fuzziness/Blurriness. I typically call this "going fuzzy". Generally it involves a verbal shutdown to an extent, where my brain has reached capacity with processing information, and is deciding to simply wipe everything and start over. Think of it like restarting a really old computer. Sometimes it doesn't take too terribly long--a few moments. Sometimes it takes more than half an hour. It depends. This is often accompanied by...

The Buzzing™--It happens for me at the base of the skull, where the injury is. It feels like a tuning fork fused to the inside of my skull. It is completely maddening. My ears ring, and it sounds like a high pitched whining noise. I become very on edge, it's incredibly anxiety inducing, and very overwhelming. I don't know if this is a common symptom you will be able to find under brain injuries, but it's Extremely not fun! I have found that it can be lessened somewhat with massaging the area.

The Voices™: I have heard voices ever since I was a kid. (Schizophrenia has already been ruled out.) Sometimes, it Is an actual auditory hallucination. I recently had an experience where I was grocery shopping and kept flinching because it sounded like someone was shouting my name directly into my ear. Other times, I've heard people whispering or knocking on my walls. These typically occur during or following a stressful situation. HOWEVER, I also experience The Voices™ in my daily life outside of stressful situations. In these situations, it is never auditory, more just a thing that occurs in my own head. I have, in the past, had the experience of talking more or less constantly to one or several distinct people in my head. Nowadays, it feels more like experiencing multiple trains of thought or multiple sets of emotions which feel distinct from "mine". Or feeling like a background voice in my head while someone else does things for me.

Per my therapist, I have recently begun categorizing them as different people to see if that helps. And it does sometimes! And sometimes it does not. It is a process. But that's where I am with that.

There's more to it, but I don't really have the capacity to talk about it much more than I have at the moment.

If you want to see what my experience with this is like... I mean. I did write an entire fanfiction about a character with several of my symptoms recently. You likely won't have the context for what is going on re the character and the situation unless you are into Red vs. Blue, but just in case it helps to see a recounting of it, here:

The Fanfiction That Helped Me Realize I Had Brain Damage™. Have fun!

[bluegiragi]

I'm not sure how I found your account but I have loved all of your creations. They have fueled my hyper-fixation for Call of Duty.

When it comes to your Monster au, are there any characteristics from the team that you see them having that you haven't been able to draw out in a storyline?

that's such a good question omg...it'd probably be all the ways that the 141 grew up.

(warning - lots of reading under the cut)

Price is a dragon hybrid, which means that historically his kind has not had amazing relationships with humans or each other. Close-knit dragon communities are still really rare, since instinctively they're extremely territorial and require space to themselves and a way to assert their own strength and hoard. But, sort of by government mandate, dragons need to keep within designated areas in case they accidentally torch a human city y'know. So he did grow up in a colony, but all the families there tended to keep to themselves, exempting mating season and the occasional territory fight. He left to join the military when he was pretty young, all things considered, and I think he did it mainly out of boredom. They were happy to have him of course - dragons are massive powerhouses with long lifespans, and very rare in their ranks (they dislike being ordered around). Price would like to think he's destined for a quiet life, but his job really let him wreak havoc and he took pleasure in indulging that primal urge of his. He grew out of that destructive phase though - nowadays, his priorities consist of taking care of his team.

--

Soap is a werewolf, which is a monster that subscribes to the 'it-takes-a-village' kind of mentality for raising a child. The Mactavishes are an average werewolf pack, with Soap, his parents, his grandparents, and his two sisters (one older, and one younger). Wolves are social creatures, but the older generation likes to stay within their own kind, if only for safety reasons. Soap's always been a go-getter though, so joining the military for a chance to see more of the world just made sense to him. Full-blooded werewolves are pretty sought after in the ranks, but they're a relatively newblood kind of monster. Superiors will often do their best to tame wolves and bring them to heel, with differing levels of success. If you win their loyalty, they're yours for life, but do them wrong and the pack will turn on you. Because of that danger of mutiny, officials will tend to keep it to one werewolf a team, despite them being stronger together.

--

Harpies are typically solitary and aren't very present parents, since they'll raise their children until they're 16 then dump them somewhere and tell them to survive. It sounds ruthless to most, but it's just how their culture is and it's how Gaz grew up. He's a resourceful type, and joined the military as soon as he could. Harpies are actually one of the more common monsters used in the forces, since their eyesight and wings make for pretty amazing scouting forces/snipers. In saying that though, there's no automatic comradery to be found between two harpies on the same team - in fact, they'll usually be combative at worst and cold/distant at best. Historically, harpies have found pride in their own independence, so being forced to interact/work together can be seen as an insult. Gaz himself is pretty charismatic and cool-headed, but even he'd get irritated if he was forced to share space with another harpy. He was shipped around between teams a lot as a lead sniper before he got promoted and met Price.

--

Simon is a wraith, but before that he was a normal human, if a bit freakishly strong. His time in the military was an escape from his home life, and after he became a wraith, that distance between himself and the human world only grew. Not a lot is known about wraiths, because the only way you'd be able to study one is if they let you and wraiths are inherently extremely private creatures with a tendency for extreme bursts of violence. They're also almost impossible to catch/imprison, so Simon's an asset the military is determined to hold onto.

[thegnomelord]

Shark Merperson reader is real gud.

- 🦈

(HOLY FUCK. THANK YOU TO WHICH EVER ANON REQUESTED THAT BECAUSE I FUCKIN LOVE SHARKS.

Now Im thinking of a Price x Reader, because shars are the oldest species known to exist. Obviously sharks arent immortal, they've just been on this earth way b4 tress bloody existed.

So Im thinking the readers an eldritch creature, they represent sharks as a whole, as long sharks exsist they exsist. Heck they mights of even of been Prices mentor when he was in his draconic 100s? (Late 20s?).

Imagine Price missing his friend calls him up to see hows hes doing. Reader elated to meet an old friend, accepts the invitation to meets up with him. Reader definitely scolds him for lossing a wing, honestly is pertrified Price lost a piece of himself and thought he was retiring due to it. Cut ahort to him smacking him slap dab on the head when he learns he's lost it a long time ago and didnt tell him.

Cue wholesome interactions th 141 and etc. Heck maybe some romance with Price.

Just a blurb i had yo tell you abt)

Okay, this tickles my eldrich abomination trying to act human itch

CW:SFW, eldritch reader, kissing

Price knows you're there the second he steps onto the old wooden pier, able to smell seaweed and brine and something in the air — what he thinks the bottom of the ocean smells like, old rot of decaying whales and older heat of geothermal vents — the soft wind billowing his hair like the breathing of an elderly beast.

He knows you're watching him, passively at least, washed up mermaid purses dotting the beach to give you a glimpse of the world above the waves through the yolks vital for the pup's survival, able to dream of the warm sun and course sand while you slumber beneath the waves.

"Oi, ser, yer look like a wee lass waiting for her sailor." Soap's sharp voice cuts through the air, the werewolf far too energized for his own good, the sand in his fur not dampening his mood when he can just shake himself off and flick the grains on Simon.

"Hah," Price snorts, "Maybe I am." He tilts his head back to the sea, sharp eyes watching the breaking waves. "Time to wake up old friend." He mutters your mangled name under his breath, mortal lips and vocal cords unable to replicate your own voice.

The young ones in his team lack the sight needed to notice your form slowly rise from the sea like a submarine breaking through the ice, only the visible flicker of air and the receding water keying them in. Price old enough to see you without needing the inner surface of his skull to be dotted with eyes. Though even he sees your real form like a man having a stroke — vaguely familiar at first yet the details are undefinable — flesh and sea melding together without rhyme or reason, long strings of seaweed bearing miniature eyes with pups wriggling inside, cookie cutter sharks boring holes through finless corpses so long eel sharks may form ever reforming sinews, fossilized bone and old rock giving giving support to the massive insult to reality's laws; birth and life wrapped up in death.

You're an affront to logic. And with one sneeze from existence itself you're human standing in front of him.

Eerily human.

Perfectly human.

Almost.

"What the fuck?" He can faintly hear Gaz's voice, all of them only now noticing you stand where you weren't previously.

Your hand touches his back before he even registers you move, always slightly damp, "When did this happen?" You ask as you trace the spot where his wing used to be. "What did this?"

"And a 'hello' to you too sweetheart." He clasps a hand around your waist, purring softly in greeting as he pulls you closer to his chest. Even if he sees you once every few centuries, even if you don't possess the ability to reciprocate, his love for you is as youthful as it was when he was but a wyrm.

Your facial features remain neutral like the ones of sunken statues, but you blink, and for a few seconds he can see that yawning abyss in your eyes. "Hi." You say, your hand still tracing the bump created by atrophied flight muscles, trying to judge how fresh it is. "Explain."

Your tone sounds like a predator baring it's teeth, but he knows you wouldn't harm him. "In a lil' bit." He snorts, puts pressure on your back until he forces your legs to move. "Come, want you to meet my boys."

The introductions are odd on both ends considering you hadn't spoken with people other than Price since that Icarus of a passenger ship mistook your fin for an iceberg and they've never met an old one like you. But you like them, they compliment Price just like the small scale he gave you makes the pearls and gold offered to you through the ages shine more.

Even if your face is unreadable, somehow they can figure out you're not too amused when you hear he'd lost his wing during a mission. "I told you arrogance would cost you." You at least you can mimic a sigh as you rub your head, "At least you retired." You say,

"We wish!" Soap snorts before he can help it, and the next thing they hear is a horrific crack that has them jumping out of their skin.

Your head had whipped 180 degrees with the rest of your body remained in place, the laws of nature nothing more but blurry guidelines. "You. . .did retire?" You ask, voice like the roar of a whirlpool.

"About that," Price starts, unable to finish his thought as you slap him upside the head as if he's still the whelp who thought he could brave an ocean storm.

"You'll put me in the grave." You growl, holding him by the ear, words spilling from your mouth like seawater filling the empty bowels of a ship. "I swear your scaly hide hasn't learned a single thing-"

"Should we help?" Gaz wonders as they watch you chastise their captain like he's a boy.

"No, this is great entertainment." Ghost chuckles.

"Want me ta grab the popcorn?" Johnny ads, already snacking, tail thumping against Simon's leg and growling playfully when Gaz reaches for the snacks.

Eventually your anger relents, mood changing as swiftly as the tide. You spend the time they have left learning about the men he's chosen as his hoard. Kyle's a bit weary of you just due to his harpy nature, but soon enough you two can be found sitting on the pier and fishing, and if you purposely make the waves flow so a big fish snags on Kyle's line, Price never says anything about it, not when his boy has a smile as big as the sun when he looks at the gigantic fish flopping on his hook.

You attempting to help Soap cook the barbeque, but you're fine motor skills are rusty after all these years of slumber, so the food is slightly burnt but Price loves when his food's basically charcoal and eats it with a smile, especially as it keeps you from telling all the embarrassing stories you have of him, from when he got his ass bit by a squid to when he was so horny he ended up rutting against an extra curvy piece of rock, though the rest have already heard enough dirt to bury him for the next several decades.

Unfortunately for Price, you and Ghost hit it off like a house on fire, and Ghost ends up learning far too many ways to hurt people without killing them that most definitely are against the Geneva conventions but you pull seniority on it. Simon in turn, teaches you how to play cards, which, when you're literally a god that can see almost everything including your opponent's cards, means the shmucks Simon ropes into playing you and Simon end up with empty pockets.

As the sun stars to dip behind the horizon you wind up sitting next to Price by the fire, the others splashing in the water.

You feel his wing spread behind your back to pull you closer to him, "I missed this." He says, knowing you won't comment on the 'I missed you' hidden behind his vellum words.

"Last time we met like this Napoleon was still emperor." You hum, a small yawn escaping you, sharp tips of shark teeth peeking from human gums. "And you had two wings." You can't help but point out, making it clear you've not forgiven him about not informing you.

Price pointedly ignores your later comment, his hand tentatively, almost shyly, reaching down to sit on top of yours. "Afraid I'll forget about you?"

His pulse picks up when you shift your hand to hold his, fingers lacing together when you don't have a tail as a human. "You wait for me." You shrug, holding your free arm up, reality wheezing for a few moments before his scale is suddenly in your hand, shiny and unharmed just as it was when he'd given it to you all those years ago. "And I dream of you."

His eyes widen and heart melts, a purr rumbling in his chest "C'mere sweetheart," He rumbles and pulls you into a kiss, free hand holding your chin stable.

You taste of salt and blood, of chilling cold and boiling heat, of something ancient and familiar and Price drinks it all down like a babe, tongue licking in your mouth and fangs nibbling on your lip, feeling you respond, the touch of hungering god as soft as silk, just to him.

But he knows this won't last.

A shark has no reason to stay on land, and a dragon can't survive underwater regardless of how much he wants. Soon you'll return to slumber, and Price won't know when he'll see you again, if he'll see you again, or if you'll learn of his passing when your waves swallow up his ashes.

He doesn't notice the prickling in his eyes but you do, wiping a stray tear with the pad of your thumb, your other hand still wrapped around his. "Don't worry John," You say, statue features finally cracking into a small smile, "I'll stay for a little while." You say and lead him into another kiss, the other members of TF141 leaving you two to catch up on lost time...

[kymsys]

(okay i was going about my day yesterday but i really couldn't get the merman au out of my head😭😭 i just imagine for a while somehow geto managed to sneak satoru into the palace and then it's a whole ordeal trying to hide him. panicked geto and oblivious gojo and really for all that image is stuck in my head i still have yet to write a proper interaction w them but!! it's not proofread so sorry if there are mistakes and it's a bit scattered but i had to get this one scene out that was brewing in my mind so🥺 ignore this if you want❗️❗️)

--

From the mezzanine, everyone looked like ants. Suguru had to squint to make out familiar faces in the crowd, and even then, the only person he could identify was a distant aunt of his that he had never really liked. Usually, he'd have been able to pick apart anyone of significance; he'd have known their name, their title, their interests. 

Suguru would've known, he always memorises the details before public events — he spends days in his room at a time, talking into the mirror and telling his reflection things about these people who he has never met. Perhaps, lately, he'd been busy with Satoru.

Suguru smiled. He didn't feel as guilty as he thought he would.

A hand clapped on his back, and he jolted. Shoko beside him, cocking a brow. “What's got you looking like a dumbass?” Her voice was flat, eyes busy scanning the crowd and Suguru knew who she was looking for.

He cleared his throat. He couldn't really tell her that he was keeping a siren in the little pond in his private garden — well, it wasn't exactly little, but that information held no relevance anyway. Shoko was his dear friend, and he knew she would always support him, but he had to keep Satoru a secret, more for her sake. Suguru bit his lip in thought. If only Satoru didn't have such a strong taste for human flesh.

“Is meat more nutritious than fish?”

“What?”

“Nevermind.” Suguru winced at the look he was being sent. He didn't mean to blurt the question out, but he'd been thinking about it for days. The salmon that he'd been feeding Satoru probably wasn't enough to sustain a creature his size — especially when he was so active — which would mean he burnt through a lot of calories very quickly. “Utahime is on the balcony,” Suguru pointed in the general direction, giving Shoko a pat on the shoulder, “good luck.”

From his peripheral vision, he could see Shoko roll her eyes as he walked away, but she muttered a small 'thanks' before she turned to find the other woman. He was glad she finally had someone to open up to other than him — he saw how happy Shoko was with Utahime, and with the burden of inheriting the throne giving her sleepless nights, it was all Suguru could want for his closest friend.

He turned his attention back to the winding flight of stairs before him. Now, to find some meat.

KINGGGGGGGGGGGG (can i call you like that??)!!!! ♥ GAHHH IM SO HONOURED AND HAPPY, you actually wrote MORE??? bless you, this is truely amazing, this has me by my throat. thank you so fucking much, i love it!! <3 WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER IGNORE THIS, are u out of your mind. i LOVEEEE the way suguru keeps thinking about his little "pet" gojo and what would probably be the best food for him! like indeed he is a massive creature, he will probably need...a lot?? but also at the same time i can imagine that he is maybe not that....needy. isnt that a thing with lots of sharks or deep sea fish that they eat very little, just because its so hard to get by food? so their organism is evolved to survive on very little food and thrive nonetheless. MAYBE suguru just thinks gojo is in need of lots of food, but actually gojo just likes to eat bc he enjoys the food, but doesnt neccessarily need it?(he is also a mystical creature, so in that sense anything is possible really xD) I ALSO LOVE HOW SUGURU JUST RANDOMLY ASKS SHOKO ABOUT NUTRITIONS AND SHOKO IS JUST LIKE WHAT, i adore that ; u ; <3 AND OMG gojo lives in a pond in his private garden??? HOW CUTE!! so that makes me wonder (pls indulge with me) why would he bring this technically "monster" into his home? generally i would think maybe that a creature like that needs its space and would need their freedom? so MAYBEEEEE smth has happened? maybe gojo got hurt, maybe even when he was caught in the fishernet situation? MAYBE suguru needs to take care of him until he gets better and maybe gojo, the curious creepy creature that he is, enjoys the change of environment and the new feeling of being cared for?? its exciting for both! what do you think ?? 👉👈 maybe you had a different idea?? im so excited to hear your thoughts!! AND AGAIN THANK YOU, i love it SO much, i feel so lucky that you actually like it so much that you wanna write about it T___T ♥

EVERYONE LOOK !!!!!!!!

[kiyomai]

disappeared off of the face of the planet but … been thinking about vampire!midoriya and how unbelievably hungry he’d be.

warnings. vampires, stalkingish, mind control, loss of autonomy(?), blood(he bites you at the end but it’s not descriptive) GN!reader, reader is called ‘pretty’ but everyone’s pretty so no gender attached to it, let me know if i’m missing tags please !!! minors DO NOT interact

he’s the kind of vampire who’d starve himself cuz he hates the idea of hurting people, of ripping through flesh to reach the one thing his body can’t live without.

but he can’t—won’t.

he’s not a monster, not at heart, at least. he doesn’t want to be a monster. he’s nice, he cares about humans—people, he has to remind himself.

they’re people, and i’m not a monster.

so he doesn’t eat.

but all things must eat to survive, even a creature like him.

and in comes you, unsuspecting little human that you are, walking down the dark, dark streets, aware of your surroundings, yet none the wiser of the real monsters lurking through the night.

izuku watches you from the rooftops, hears the way your heart beats a little faster with the way you’re speed walking, knowing how desperate you are to get home.

you’re so unbelievably human.

and he’s so unbelievably hungry.

he doesn’t remember jumping. one second you were out reach, and the next, well…he’s in front of you now.

your expression morphs into terror and your heart is beating out of your chest. it’s a good look on you, he thinks. you look so human.

you reach to grab something while your eyes are trained on him, watching his every move. smart, he thinks, too bad he’s not human. and with the little energy he has, he wills you to stop.

“it’s okay,” swims through your mind, sticking like honey. “you’re alright.” and with those few words, you’re at ease, and izuku thinks you look even prettier like this—under his thumb.

for a while, all he does is stare at you.

how long has it been since he’s been this close to a human before?

how long… has he been starving—denying himself of the one thing he needs to survive.

your hand twitches and izuku catches it.

oh right, he’s not that strong. if he waits any longer, you’ll break free in no time.

he takes the small window he has to get closer to you, thankful that you’re still under, and rests his head on your shoulder.

“i know this is a little strange.” his voice is soft as he speaks, but he knows his voice is echoing loudly in your empty little head. “and that deep down you’re scared out of your mind.” his hands are itching to wrap around you.

“i’m sorry. so sorry that i cant—that im not strong enough to make this painless,” his breathing quickens, unable to hold back. “i just want—i really need you.”

his hand wraps around your neck and the chill that runs through you drives him crazy. if you manage to slip through the cracks, he thinks he won’t mind it. “i promise i won’t take too much,” he breathes into your neck. “i just want a taste. you’ll let me have this, right, pretty?”

and with the last of his will keeping you trapped, you nod your head just enough for him to sink his fangs in.

a/n: i haven’t written in 2 years :O wow i’ve been lurking on tumblr dot com but writing became so difficult. i’ve been rewatching tvd and every time i see stefan i think of deku and how he’d be the same (especially in terms of ripper!stefan) yeaupp hope u enjoyed!!! likes, comments and reblogs are welcome and appreciated <3

[mythologicalbiologist]

A world of hostility, threat, danger, and potential...

A world of magic and technology, intermingling as one...

A world of many lives, faces, livelihoods, natures, and needs,

The World Around Chrysanthemum!

Welcome to The World Around Chrysanthemum, a tabletop roleplaying game hosted by yours truly, mythologicalbiologist!

This is a not-so-new project that i have been working on in my downtime.

What is Chrysanthemum?

Chrysanthemum is a city, set in a post modern time, in a world surrounded by magic of all ends and nearly all kinds! Technology has advanced drastically, intermingling with magic to create a small, yet grandiose city!

Regarded as the safest place in the world, chrysanthemum has surpassed many other civilizations, with its leader, lysander, fronting the charge. many kinds of people and creatures, humanoids and beasts participate to survive from the threats far and wide, some small, yet deadly, with some wielding the size and strength to hold up entire mountains!

Prepare for anything with magic in abundance and options applenty, changing out gameplans and making careful actions along the fly.

Live, try, wonder, and die with one another as you venture through the city and far outside of it to civilizations small and slighly less small, while weathering torrents of wildlife, magic, dragons, and opportunities from end to end of the planet, all to save chrysanthemum from itself as its sour center is revealed further and further to both you and the world around it.

What do i want from The World Around Chrysanthemum?

Idealy, i want The World Around Chrysanthemum to pose an interesting, complex, and various world that will allow for a vast potential of options regarding how one can make characters do various actions through a *hopefully* unique system of deeply and vastly customizable magic, not just encouraging, but expecting and enforcing a wide breadth of experimentation and testing with various formations of abilities that interact with one another in order to allow oneself to survive in an otherwise incredibly harsh, unwelcome environment.

I also hopefully want to tell an interesting story of it that provides a solid worldbuilding groundwork for many varieties of expansion, while also being able to tell an interesting story as a baseline.

What do i expect from The World Around Chrysanthemum?

Well, as someone who has never made (and has rarely played) a tabletop before, i dont expect my inexperience to win me any awards. If anything im expecting overambition to get the best of me at points, considering that this comes from a blend of a heavy history of roleplaying and a desire to make videogames

But regardless of whether it ends up being messy or overambitious, i expect my thoughts and whimsy to be put on display, and for my years of writing experience to shine through to make something at least a few people will want to take a look at!

And so we forge ahead, ourselves forever and onward!

Expect to see more about it soon, from future posts of lore, mechanics, and characters, to even potential art or news!

[the-s1lly-corner]

hiii could i get J, P, Q an U for Slender? thanks! and i hope your day is going really well >_<

More Fluff Alphabet /w Slenderman but these letters!

my days been pretty okay! slow, but not terrible :O gonna be slow from tomorrow until next saturday so i might promote requests being open ponders not proof read!! though to be fair i dont. think i proof read any of my stuff

J (JEALOUSY)-

he can get rather possessive in general when it comes to you or his proxies so uh

don't like, try to make him jealous on purpose, it doesn't end well for anyone involved. actually don't try to tick off forest demons in general

i know i keep saying stuff like "oh god forbid someone make you uncomfortable" in these but like. slenderman is still this huge powerful creature, i know my interpretation on him is a bit silly n different but he still has roots in the 2010s fandom interpretation, you know?

there will be... a mess... is what im saying

in the case that someone is being weird with you, he's less jealous and more angry, though, of course not angry at you

though there will be hard boundaries set in place if you try to rile him up on purpose, he doesnt want to waste his time on someone whos going to toy with him like that. both in a "hey thats not really cool or healthy of you to do to me or our relationship" and also "im fucking slenderman im a old ass powerful demon, who do you think you are?"

P (PETNAMES)-

he calls you; love, darling, my dear

he likes being called; really anything under the sun, because as long as its something coming from your mouth hes pleased, because it ultimately means hes yours and youre his

q (QUESTION)-

for more context see this post! dives into lore stuff for my au/hcs but it'll help add context to this segment!:

here!

hope the link copied well enough </3 if not you can find it on my blog, titled "all entwined in one web" or something along those lines

anyways

some variant of "why do you stay"

you could have decided to be with literally anyone else, but you chose a solitary self loathing demon who eats people in order to survive, created for the sole purpose to cause issues and harm to humanity

on one hand he wants you to stick around and keep him company; but on the other hand he wants you as far away from him as possible so you can go out and live your own life without being in danger or having to put up with his whole deal

please give him lots of reassurance, its going to take a lot for him to stop asking those kinds of questions; assuming he stops asking at all

U (UPSET)-

i feel like him being upset is similar to the jealousy part of this post, but just more. broad. like hes not going to take shit if youre going to try to upset him on purpose

hes more patient if its accidental, though. diving into a previous fluff alphabet, if its an accident and something that can be helped in terms of future instances hes likely to work through it with you. he knows his time with you is short, if his partner is a mortal, and he doesnt want to waste that time

soft slenderman my beloved, let this man have complex emotions and desires and whatnot

kinda just. vanishes when he gets real upset, though, since he cant control his anger that well and generally just doesnt want you to see him like that- best way to help him like that is to just give him time

if youre the one upset hes going to listen to you, if you need someone to talk to. man of few words, advice can go fifty fifty

either gives good advice or not good advice; and thats on him being around for a long time but not really spending a lot of that time you know... interacting with others in a meaningful way

bonus if you still live at your place he's going to do a bunch of your chores for you. in. varying degrees of success, similar reasoning as above since he doesnt really have a home of his own to do like. dishes or laundry at. still bouncing between if im going to have the mansion be a part of this au of mine or not, and if so, how its going to tie in to everything

shrugs

[tishamilitary]

WELCOME TO THE TISHA MILITARY, LETS HOPE YOU SURVIVE.

HERE WE HAVE 5 TISHAS, READY FOR DEPATURE.

"Tish01 reporting for duty. Hoping we dont screw this up." -🔫

"Dont worry, i've got this." -🔫

<HEYY!! Im Mephone4, the TISH01 mod! I go by he/it/xe and i also run a shrimpo blog :3 I like dandys world, roblox, OSC, and other things!>

“hhhhAAHAHAHAAAHHHAAA— THOSE IDIOTS THINK THAT THHHEY CAN BEAT OOUR TROOP?? WWE’RE THE BEST…HHAHAAH…the best, right?” - 🛠

\\ Greetings, my name is Duskit, the Tishtr4ctor mod. I go by He/they/it, but I prefer he/it over them. I am EXTREMELY new to askblogs, so uh. Yeah. I enjoy DW, OSC, oc making, and whatever whatever.

"dont ask questions, ur fine!!! you totally understand whats going on!!!... what the flip am i doing,,"

-⚙️{~Hihi!! my name is vince/elijah, i am a system, and i am the host of said system!! i strictly go by he/him, and im a transgender male!!~}

".....Mlehhyawwwnnnn..oh.. hi...! I'm Tishired....how you doin? ...oh the elevator.....just......gotta job to do, cyaaa.....later..!! .....rolling out.......!!!" - 💤

[Yo, names Tze/Mze. Either one works for me. Go by She/Her, but They/Them works. This is uh......first ask blog ive ever done. ........andmyfirsttimeontumblr uhm....Yeah I'm the one who plays this cotton candy lookin creature. I do got autism. Phighting hyperfixation has taken over my life a while ago so uh..... sorry in advance if I make phighting references......Yeah think that's all I got. Bye bye :D ]

“Hmm… is anyone hurt? Does anyone need meds? Because there are some over here! Please take em, I dont need **anyone** getting hurt … again….. we dont need another [REDACTED] moment.. “ -🩹

🌙💼 - [Hi therree!! It’s moons here! The tishtor mod here! I go by she/any but i like masc pronouns aswell, i love neos i will always accept them! I enjoy osc , dandy world , roblox, and others! I also run two (glisten blogs!) well anyways thats the end of my intro \<3]

[PLEASE DO NOT ASK ANY NSFW, GORE, BUG IMAGERY, SLURS, OR HEAVILY TRIGGERING SUBJECTS.]

[DNI if you support any problematic creators, support pro/darkshipping, or fall into other basic dni things.]

[This is a multi-person run askblog, so there is many different mods! Please understand we all have different boundaries.]

[Magic anons and interactions from characters, ocs, and kinsonas from dandys world are allowed!]

[PRONOUNS: 01 is he/she, Tishtr4ctor is they/it, Tisha9000 is she/it/shine, Tishired is she/her, Tishtor is he/her/hey]

general tag: reporting for duty🔫🩹⚙️🛠💤

Tish01 tag: #FILING OUT.🔫

Tishtr4ctor tag: #DISTRACTORINSANITY!🛠️

Tisha9000 tag: #What am I supposed to do..⚙️

Tishired tag: #Too tired to extract..💤

Tishtor tag: #Please rest.. you need it.🩹

[plounce]

ffxiv fic ideas that ping around my brain:

pre-shb thancred teaches ryne how to trap and skin a rabbit. and it's half about illustrating them living on the run & thancred teaching her survival skills. and half about the symbolism of it all. and ryne looking at the rabbit. this tug between "yes thancred interacting with me and teaching me, awesome i love positive attention" + "i love living out in the world and being Free" and... the rabbit, hungry and naive, baited into the trap. and thancred looking at ryne and trying to decide whether to have her be the one to kill it. or for him to kill this poor creature who just wanted to live, who he needs to die, in front of her. and they clean it, cook it, eat it, but when they go to sleep ryne can't get its shivering form and big glassy eyes out of her head. (will that be me?) [babybirch_joannanewsom.mp3]

pre-shb urianger taking care of ryne for a month while thancred splits off to throw off a eulmoran tail. urianger and ryne hanging out and having an alright time. half about their relationship (the sweetness, but also the tough spots - urianger's role in ryne's existence (he is guilty about it, while he's the most normal adult in her life so her brain is incapable of being mad at him about it (or is it), ryne's mixed feelings about how thancred is always happier and relaxed and nicer when they're at the shelves (yay he's happy! vs i wish i got that all the time, i wish he thought me worth his best self) (in general there's a lot about the ghost of thancred in the room); half about them exploring the ruins of the bookman's shelves (i firmly believe there are underground cellars), its neighbors, and voeburt in general.

urianger childhood lore. i had some headcanons about him being raised by an old, frail, distant grandmother which got squished a little by ee3 but the new lore is in line with my hc that urianger was neglected as a child and tbh im delighted for confirmation. some stuff about the augerelt family in general. their house (smaller than many in journey's end) having rumors of being haunted. moenbryda. autism.

urianger, moenbryda, thancred, and y'shtola (plus yda?) as teens in old sharlayan, for whatever overlaps they had in the city as youths. i strongly believe that thancred & moenbryda were closer than thancred & urianger were as teens. i also think there's something with y'shtola being forced to leave the colony (and also being raised by y'shtola) and away from matoya and thancred's teenage years spent in Spy School (where they melt your brain) that could result in two really temperamental, angry, resentful teens. louisoix delegating moenbryda to try to be a good friend (good influence) to them, urianger getting taken along for the ride

thancred teaching ryne how to swim.

epistolary/fake media fic. the one i wrote for ds9 is still my fave thing ive written ever. i'd love to write some scion paperwork

lucia and maxima hanging out and talking about growing up gay in fascist conservative garlemald, the revelations about emperor solus, their work in current garlemald, and their opinions on gaius (lucia does not like him over the livia situation, while maxima has always considered him a moderate conservative that he doesn't like but now there's also some strangeness from when they were in the burn in stb patches) (generally 'i dont like him but i dont hate him as much as i used to bc its complicated and hes become emotionally pathetic'). fic would end with them going "fucking nero tol scaeva though, right?" "OH my GOD."

there's more. maybe i'll add to this. who knows. if you get inspired by any of these please write to your heart's desire

[bababaka]

Welcome back to Rewriting Twilight!

Here is part 1, if you missed it and want to read it.

Part 2 - Jasper being a confederate soldier

Or, Jasper being in the wrong side of history

Let's go!

Trigger warning: racism, anxiety attacks, violence.

So because i was not born in the USA, and did not study USA's history i didn't understand the whole thing about the confederate soldier, but as i got deeper into the twilight fandom, i got a grasp about what it was. And now i did a 5 minute search in google about the civil war and the sides of it blah blah blah. Here's what i found about it, and thought was important for this "rewrite":

"Men on both sides were inspired to fight by patriotism, state pride, the chance for adventure, steady pay. Union soldiers fought to preserve the Union; the common Confederate fought to defend his home. Later in the war, increasing numbers of Federal soldiers fought to abolish slavery, if for no other reason than to end the war quickly. Confederate soldiers sometimes fought because they feared Union victory would result in a society where black people were placed on an even footing with whites."

Ok. What do we take from this?

Jasper is racist :) not was, but is. Because, in the movies when he talks about it, he doesn't look contrite or remorseful, he doesn't say: yeah, i later realised i was wrong, bla bla bla.

My problem is exactly that. Not that he was a confederate soldier and whatnot. Hell yeah he was a racist. My problem is that he doesn't regret it. It is not shown to the audience that he regrets and is ashamed of what he once was part of, of the ideals and morals he fought and was willing to die for.

Sooooo, here is my take on how to do exactly that :)

This would happen in the third movie of the franchise. And Jasper would be the focus of it.

Through the whole thing of the new born army, we would see Jasper in his mind reliving his life, and his time with Maria, and his time as confederate soldier.

So, it would start, Jasper, at the ripe age of 18(?), enlists to the army of the confederate. To fight for his country, his ideals and morals, for right and wrong. All that was taught by his father.

He trains and fights and shoots. He does all that was required of him, like a good soldier of his nation.

He kills and despises black people. The dirt of the ground.

He rides his horse, and hold onto his southern hat.

And, then along comes, Maria.

Maria, well, does what she does in canon. Im not going to really change it. Its amazing.

She turns and manipulates him. Turning him into a puppet, her puppet.

She keeps him at her side, almost all the time, because of his well good looks (she is very much superficial) and abilities, his fighting techniques.

And then, doing a simple walk, alongside Maria, they come across a runaway slave. A black man, in his middle twenties. And the beautiful thing is, before turning into a vampire, Jasper would sneer and scowl, maybe kill the dude. He would despise the other man. Whom he wouldn't even consider being a man, his equal.

Maria takes an interest in the runaway, and so they come closer, and so, as Maria mostly interacts with him, Jasper, so against it, feels the emotions that this stranger was feeling. He feels scared. Hes terrified out his mind. Hes tired. And that is the starting point there.

So, i don't know how racists think because well im not one, and have never befriended one to try understand nor have i made a research to try understand what goes on. But neverthless, lets pretend Jasper was the kind of racist who didn't even think black people were truly human. As if they are a monster or some foul, soulless creature.

But, now Jasper is an empath! How fucking beautiful is that?! A man who had little to no empathy, becomes this strange creature that feels everything. Who kill people to feed himself with tears in his eyes and maybe even is induced into an anxiety attack. He feels the terror. The despair, the need to survive. Maybe, when is near anything that reflects his image while killing his victim, Jasper sees himself and for a moment, is scared of the creature he sees there.

In the begining of his years as a vampire, Jasper would be just this emotional mess. And Maria would confort him, of course she would. Why wouldn't she? What better way to make this powerful, handsome, and tatctiful man into her loyal little puppy whom she can manipulate as she fits? Though, because she's awful, she'd get annoyed sometimes with him, and would snap at him. To stop being a baby, weak and fragil. To be a man. He gets hurt by that, but would always come back to her. Because at tht point, she already made herself important to Jasper. Emotionally attached to her, Maria would be seen by Jasper as the calm in the middle of the storm, a warm embrace and soft caresses and gentle words.

Though, with time, she gets restless, and meaner. And of course, with time, Jasper will learn to harden himself and be more in control of his power and those unwanted and foreign feelings. But, neverthless, he still feels it. Every victim, every child, every woman, every man.

So now, feeling this man's emotions, this black man's emotions, it gives him a whiplash. The start of the crumbling of his world and his ideals. Because, oh no, he has feelings? This means he has a soul. Oh no. What?

But, Jasper is in denial still. The hatred goes too deep, its roots firmly attached to his being. His ideals. Wrong and right.

So, Maria recruits this man. And, lo and behold, demands Jasper trains him.

After, he finds out this ex-slave's name is Thomas.

At the start, they would have conflicts because well, Jasper is racist and therefore, not very nice. I don't think he would be outwardly ofensive, because Maria. So he says little phrases, remarks here and there, the tone of his voice, just slightly condescending, and the training, harder and crueler than any of the others.

Now that i think of it. Thomas would be only black person there. Poor Thomas.

And i didn't exactly thought this part out that much. Because im lazy, but, in this time, little by little they would "bond".

At first they would fight, Thomas would lash out and attack Jasper. Who quickly overpowers him, while feeling each emotion. Every little change in his demeanor. Because, Jasper's haterd is so focused on Thomas, that his entire attention is on the newborn. So, with each venoumus word and sneer, Jasper would feel Thomas' emotions change. The anger, the sadness, the fear, the hurt, the drive to survive.

And as times goes on, and his laser focus is on the boy, Jasper would be in synchrony with Thomas' emotions.

Jasper would be very much in conflict with himself about it. He doesn't say anything to Maria, knowing she'd be annoyed to be bothered about such things.

And then, without noticing, Jasper would get softer, gentler, still strict and firm, but now the cruelty behind it diminish little by little.

Until, Thomas breaks. He flees. Scared for his life, longing for some place he could be accepted. Free. To do what he wants, to have dignity, to have people beside him who do not see him as something less than. His people. He aches for something more.

So he runs away. He already did once. He surely could do it again.

Jasper, however, goes after him, with a few other vampires, all under Maria's order, to kill Thomas. Make him an example for others. They split to cover more ground.

Jasper finds him. They fight, and while this time is a bit harder to do it, Jasper still wins. Again.

And Thomas breaks down crying. Knowing his ends is nearing. Asking for mercy, saying how unfair all of it was. A slave his entire life, to be manipulated into another prison. He just wants his family, he wants freedom, he wants to live. He is not ready to die yet. Fuck! This is all so fucking unfair! How is this fair? That Jasper the killer, the monster, the one who torture and kill people in his damn cult gets to have a life. But he, who has done nothing wrong besides aparently being born black, is the one who never got a chance to live on his own. For himself.

Now, you may ask, What the fuck is Jasper doing while this whole monologue is happening? Well, he is freaking out.

:)

Not only because of Thomas' words, but also because of his feelings. Jasper feels the heartbreaking melancholy, the fury, the despair and hopelessness. He can feel it all, amped up, cause he, in some sort of fucked up way, feels a conection to Thomas. Jasper goes to his knees. In complete defeat and misery. And with a startle, he realizes, as he looks as the young adult, crying, sobbing in the snow, he doesn't want to kill Thomas.

He never wants to kill the people Maria tells him to. But he does anyways, for her. Now, however, it comes crashing down on him, how he DOESN'T want to kill Thomas. And how Jasper feels for him. Jasper now regards Thomas as person, like himself. And takes a decision.

"Run" Jasper sobs, on his knees, tears streaming down his face. Trying his best to just pull himself together. "I'll lie and say i killed you. Now run."

Thomas doesn't need more than that. He takes off. And Jasper stays and just watch, his vision blurry, as the man he spared runs to hopefully his freedom.

Now. Don't be mistaken. Jasper isn't fixed yet. Ideas like racism, homophobia or shit that has been drilled into your mind since birth, don't go away that easily. But now Jasper actively fights against this notion that was put into his head.

Also, this would be the point in which Jasper would spur into consciousness and realize Maria doesn't care about him. He doesn't leave imediatly, but soon enough, he does.

And in his journey, Jasper meets a lot of different people. Of different ethnicities, and values, and ideals. He learns.

And in learning, he meets other people of color, some free and happy, some bound by chains and suffering, to those he lends a helping hand to break those shackles.

I dont know if this is said in the movies, but Jasper, only later, will learn how to change people's emotions. Him trying to lull his victims into peacefulness as they die. Trying to confort them or himself, he doesn't know.

And then, he meets his ray of sunchine wife, Alice.

I don't think i want to change anything about their relationship. I just think it would take time for Jasper to open up to Alice, because trauma. But, with time and Alice relentless determination and cuteness, she brings his walls down.

And as he is trying to learn to feed from animal and not humans (which by the way, is an oportunity he jumps at. Eager to not feel his victims emotions. Although, can Jasper feel animal's emotions? It doesnt matter, here he can't), Jasper would little by little tell her about his past. First the not so bad things, to the bad, and then the horrible and unforgiving things.

She forgives him.

And, at some point, i dont know how or when, but he breaks down. And starts crying and freaking out. And Alice conforts him.

And what gets him is, Alice doesn't think Jasper is an annoyance. She is happy he lets her confort him. And then he can't help but remember Maria, and how she would confort him, oh so gently, while feeling annoyed, frustated, sometimes downright disgusted. He never thought she didn't love him, but he knew he was a bother like this, weak and fragile, vulnerable, so he understood why she felt those emotions. Now though, all of Alice feelings are bright, worried sure, but... he couldn't put into words, she had something. So strong and reliable. Warm, and non-judgmental. Patient and kind.

She cares. She truly cares for him.

And that just makes him cry harder. Not once she felt like he was a bother. Not once she let go of him.

Then, in twilight, telling Bella about his past, he says battle scars, but not with a fucking grin on his fucking face. No. He looks remorseful. Guilt clear on his face.

He tell about his past, about the confederate army with sadness, anger. But not so much because i don't think he'd be that emotional with Bella and also because, Alice, and time, helped him to come to terms with his wrongdoings.

And tells about Maria bla bla bla. And then, Alice comes to recue cause hubby is sad.

Ah! I love them so much, your honor!

And, to end, later, way later, after Bella becomes a vampire, he comes across Thomas. In a coven, content.

And fuck, Jasper feels so happy for him.

Their reecounter is not something extremely emotional. Because, well, while both played important parts on each other's life, they never were friends or something.

So, their talk is simple enough. Thomas thanks him for sparing his life. Jasper asks for forgiveness.

I am not sure if they would become friends now. I mean, maybe, like Jasper is a changed person and they had a history, sure a bad one, but still maybe they could understand each better than other people.

But then again, Jasper pretty much tortured and abused Thomas. So, even though Jasper saved his life later on and Thomas himself isn't hung up on it (or he is???), but Thomas might not want to have any relationship with Jasper. Because, while he can see Jasper changed, he can't bear to share space with him for too long. Its completely fine to not want any contact with Jasper, the blond would certainly be mindful of his choice, and would respect it.

But maybe, someone from Thomas' coven could have been helped by Jasper.

I don't know. I think it would be too forceful. Thomas is happy like that.

Though, it could be done, i could see many ways they could end up friends and leave their history behind. I guess i just don't want to. Jasper did what he did. And while he regrets it now, he still did it.

So, yeah. I dont them to be friends.

Jasper deals with the consequences of his mistakes. But he takes it. Alice being always at his side no matter what, brightening his days, and his entire being.

Jasper wasn't a good man, he regrets far more than any would bother to count, but he does.

But, Alice is there to always remind him, that he might've not been a good man, but now he is.

And that is how you do it.

Thank you very much for reading this. It ended up being way longer than i intended, but i just got carried away.

Anyways, that's it. I don't know if there will be a part 3. I could talk about Rosalie and Emmet or Carlisle and Esme. But i don't know yet.

Guys, don't forget, this is only for fun. It's okay if you don't agree with me.

If you want to say your piece about it, remember to always be nice!

Take care! Bye, guys!

[sunakore]

i might not post today idk. i dont really like putting pressure on myself and i post almost everything i write so 😭 but yeah my ocs uhm have no direction and im not sure where to go with them. no conflict besides demons and stuff existing and i dont really pronounce their qualities enough. plus idk who's pov to write in anymore and i dont really like them tbh...i cant describe any of them besides people who hunt creatures and that's kinda lame to me, i like writing fantasy even if im scared to, and nothing about my world feels interesting at all.

that being said, i am working on something else. doing some actual planning first and adding lore :3 ive only been practicing a few basic skills for weeks. just...character interaction. i wanna do worldbuilding (will i survive who knows), description of places and people and drabbles that mention lore and plot and have some glitter to them. soo..yeah. i might be abandoning these ocs.

maybe i need a break..maybe. i wanna focus on some other things for a bit. writing constantly is new and exciting to me but also terrifying. im not used to being passionate towards any hobby of mine and takinf it seriously oughgjgj. so yeah. hello burnout induced from paralyzing dread. funny because i usually write less than 1000 words a day but manage to get burnt out anyways, love you life. i guess ive been moving at too fast of a pace, idk. i dont really wanna write rn

[midnightfire830]

I said I would type a paragraph and I am,,,,,can he fly to the sun?? If he flys to the sun would he be able to feel the heat??, how high can he physically go without disintegrating?? If he encounters a black hole would he survive??, what things can repel him?? Can he go underground like solid underground???,could he go to the upper???, can he posses stuff like dolls, can he change his ghost form to scare people?? Kinda like what ms chalice did in the cuphead show,can he speak to other ghosts??,can he loose control while in ghost form?,if he goes to his physical form how long would he be able to stay like that untill he goes back to his ghost form??,can magical beings such as Alice or bendy since his presence??,is there any runes that could bring him back??,can he get through magical barriers??,can he posses animals??,can he sense magical beings?,does cuphead have demon magic in him??,if he was to posses someone could he read that persons mind??,can he sense when other ghosts are possessing his friends?,can he still use his magical bullets??,can he posses a demon like bendy??,can he breath underwater???,what’s the fastest he can fly??,can he go invisible??,yes that is a lot of questions and sorry I didn’t send in the ask earlier😭,I was practically sleep the whole morning lol

. . .

Holy crap.

I leave to grab lunch and there’s a whole essay in my inbox. Charlixc3… my respect, bud. 🫡

Anyway! To answer your many, many questions:

- I assume because he’s a ghost and can pass through anything, doesn’t need to breath, and gravity and temperature doesn’t have an effect on him he could fly to the sun, go into a black hole, go through solid ground, travel to the upper, and can go underwater. (But traveling to the sun would take probably thousands of years with how far away the Sun is from the Earth. No, im not sure how fast he can travel)

- A parry from a dish, possibly some magical creatures that interact with ghosts and souls could probably do something to him.

- I bet he could possess dolls and other solid objects but it would be easier to slip control because the object isn’t built to host a soul, if that makes sense. But he wouldn’t be rejected from the object BECAUSE there is no soul.

- He can transform when he’s a ghost like Ms. Chalice. But its much more natural to stay in his normal form.

- He can speak to other ghosts. (Dishes are also more perceptive of spirits and stuff so that also would help with that.)

- If he goes on a rampage he gets stuck in which ever form he was in, so if he was a ghost, then yes he could go on a rampage as a ghost. Also if he’s, like, very angry, or emotional he does start to lose some control of his abilities. Flickering between forms at random, causing objects to fly across the room, mess with electricity and lights, make the room go cold. That kind of thing.

- Cup can stay in either form however long he wants. However if he was injured in his physical form, he could switch to his ghost form to slow the injury. But too long without the injury getting taken care of drains his energy and eventually he’d be forced to switch back and have to get it taken care of. It works in a pinch but isn’t a permanent solution. That’s the only situation i can think of that could be an exception.

- Alice and Bendy could probably sense his presence, but not as easily as a dish could. Maybe if his emotions were heightened or if he were on a rampage then they could sense him easily.

- I assume you mean runes to switch him to different forms? Possibly. A more effective way to get him to switch would be a parry or salt, his one weakness. Salt burns him in both forms, and forces him back to his normal form. Mugs keeps salt water on him in the case of an emergency. Salt water doesn’t burn cup as much because its more diluted. It still stings as all hell.

- Depends on the magical barrier. Some might specifically be made to ward off ghosts and in which case he wouldn’t be allowed to enter, or he could possibly go in if he stays in his physical form but it would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable for him. Or the barrier would force him into is ghost form and not allow him to enter. Ig it depends.

- He could probably possess animals. But it’s my own personal headcannon that Cuphead loves animals more than a lot of people and would want no harm to come to them.

- He can sense magical beings about as well as OG cuphead can.

- No demon magic. And no telepathy. Sorry :(

- Yes, he could probably sense if another ghost possessed someone else.

- I can’t remember what I had decided for the bullet one. My guess is yes he can use it but it’s not a strong. And maybe more effective on other ghosts. Idk

- He could probably possess a demon, but it would be waaaayyyy more difficult because they are very strong beings that deal with the soul, have souls that work differently from other species, and their physical forms are fluid so cup would be dealing with a very difficult host. And he’d most likely would be rejected from the body much faster with more serious drawbacks. Hat still trained him to possess demons tho, so, he knows how to at least. He just hates doing it.

- Yes, he can go invisible, but his presence can still be sensed by other magical creatures.

- I LOVE THE MUGMAN DRAWING AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Whew! That was a lot! XD

Thanks tho! I enjoy answering all these questions!!!

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Looking for: not sure maybe just venting, a response if you want.

Idk if there’s tw

I want to know if anybody else has been through similar? I’ve been revictimized a lot in my life I choice to stop socializing and going to events just isolating now because I don’t wanna be abused again…

I had two abusive exes. And after the second one which was pretty bad too, I chose not to date again.

I’ve had some toxic friends but nothing too bad but they do talk a lot of shit about me and spread rumors.

Ive dealt with abusive parents which is probably what set me up for failure in other relationships.

Ive dealt with being bullied by friend groups and by classmates. A lot of people stayed away from me because they heard rumors and some people asked me weird questions like Ik they heard rumors about me.

I feel like it is never ending. And I’m just destined to be abused no matter who I meet it’ll always happen. I always feel like this’ll follow me from lifetime to lifetime and god is punishing me.

I honestly feel like I’m not traumatized or it should’ve been worse for me to complain. Idk if I have any disorders I’m not diagnosed and I can’t find a doctor because I don’t have money. I’m just depressed ig. Kind of numb most days.

It almost feels like im playing victim card or something but Ik what I’ve been through. Like it feels like everyone hates me and they must be right about me. I mean Ik everyone hates me. Nobody wants to go near me. There must be a reason im avoided, there must be a reason im hated, they must’ve seen something broken in me that I couldn’t see and they’re just doing their duty as people to cast me out or bully me. My parents were so happy to have a kid and the picture of them holding me as a baby they look so happy and so caring in those pictures. I must’ve fucked up at a young age and that’s why they didn’t want me anymore. It’s my fault and I know it. Idk what to do anymore. I’m sorry you don’t have to answer this.

Hi anon,

It's entirely up to whether or not you want to date. However it's worth considering that life is a risk and you deserve the possibility of being loved to a degree you've never experienced before. That also extends to social gatherings - human beings are social creatures and need interaction to survive and thrive. Your past experiences do not deserve to steal your ability to have joyful and meaningful connections and memories. There are ways to enjoy a social life and love life without fear of abuse.

It also sounds like you're dealing with "mythologization" which is a common experience among survivors of complex trauma. Mythologization is a term I use to describe the feeling that the abuse you've experienced is on a cosmic or spiritual level, like feeling as if your abuse was predestined by god. Especially when you've been revictimized and polyvictimized, it's even easier to feel this way.

Going drastic lengths to avoid abuse is traumatized behavior. It's also common for trauma survivors to victim-blame and gaslight themselves as you've outlined in your last two paragraphs. It's okay to acknowledge that you have trauma, but it's understandable to find difficulty in accepting this due to the consequences of being traumatized.

It's important to remember that trauma is not defined by what happened, but instead by how we are affected. This is because there are various factors that affect one's resilience - the ability to recover from an adverse experience. Everyone is dealt a unique set of cards which means that everyone had varying degrees of resilience. So what may be traumatic to you may not be traumatic to someone else, but that doesn't mean you aren't or shouldn't be traumatized. It makes sense given the hand you were dealt and that's okay. This also means that it makes little sense to compare your trauma to those you feel have it worse - because they have a completely different life, with a completely different set of cards.

A difficult part of healing is acknowledging the severity of your past while giving yourself permission to be happy and enjoy the present moment. You do not have to be miserable to be a valid trauma survivor. You deserve to be happy in spite of everything that has happened.

-Bun

[panic-and-procrastinate]

honestly i love the jurassic movies, but i do have to say i hate that they got the carnivores and herbivores behaviour the wrong way around. most of the time predators don't rlly attack you unless their either a. hungry or b. threated. herbivores however? hippos will mow you down for sport. they'll crush you and rip you up for looking at them funny. and all they do is eat grass!!! they can't eat you at all but they'll still rip you to shreds. because people often percieve herbivours as less dangerous bc they wont eat you, people get too close and disrespect animals boundries. the same should happen with the herbivour dinosaurs. they should kill far more people than the carnivorous ones.

the t rex honestly had pretty good reasons. the first movie explained they had been in captivity and the dinosaurs were spoon fed, so they wanted to hunt, and this is expanded upon in jurassic world when owen says animals raised in captivity without social interaction makes them want to find out their place on the food chain. so the t rex killing everything in sight when it first gets out is sensible. and it killing people in the second movie bc its baby was taken in also sensible.

the third movie with the spinosaurus is curious tho. the spinosaurus' behaviour is never expanded upon, and is just a continuous antagonist with no real reason other than "big scar dino" that needs to kill people and specifically fuck with these guys. i don't like that.

but the raptors... i'm forever mad about the way raptors are portrayed. they really should have been like wolves more, they wouldn't have just attacked or hunted for no reason. in the first movie i understand, it was explained above. kept in captivity blah blah blah. but the second movie??? unless they were really hungry, they had no reason!!! they wouldn't have expanded that much energy on humans who are tricky to catch, they would have found easier prey bc saving your energy is super duper important in the wild.

not to mention they have a sense of EMPATHY bc they are PACK creatures. pack creatures (LIKE HUMANS) have a sense of empathy and care toward each other bc thats how they SURVIVE. in the third movie, they show this. Their incesant chasing makes sense, they want their eggs back.

IN JURASSIC WORLD HOWEVER

oh boy oh boy. they should NEVER have attacked owen or anyone who raised them. pack creatures that have a bond would not eat someone the moment they turn their back. (im talking about that introductory scene to owens character and relationship with the raptors when that guy fell in the pen.) you know how there are sanctuaries with wolves and lions an those animals are super happy and cuddly with their handlers bc they KNOW thats their friend? yeah it should have been the same. and not to mention they wouldn't just TURN on owen if the indominatable rex had a little chat with them, these guys are smart and know that owen doesn't want to hurt them, why would they do the same to the guy WHO RAISED THEM. THATS NOT PACK BEHAHIOUR. they would be wary of the bigger and more scarier version of them that wants to kill everything for sport. the animals would be afraid.

i'm sorry for the rant im just so mad about the way raptors were portrayed, i'm very passionate about pack behaviours an they did such a disservice to them.

[inconsistentcharacterizationcomp]

Shadow the Hedgehog: Inconsistently Characterized?

Submissions propaganda will be here. Feel free to reblog or reply to this post with additional inconsistency in characterization, or to refute it!

See #Shadow the Hedgehog Propaganda as a tag.

Why the FUCK does Shadow work for GUN when his whole origin story is that he hated everything because GUN invaded his home and killed everyone including his 12yo sister. And also made his dad? go insane. What. Why do we have both a game where Shadow learns the power of friendship and relying on his friends is strenght and a game in later timeline where he says “fuck friends they don’t do nothing be strong = lone wolf.” He Would Not Fucking Say That

THE FUCKING CHARACTER EVER!!! listen. shadow is such an impactful and tragic character who suffers so much and nobody fucking understands him especially the writers who massacred who he was as a person. not to mention sega themselves sabotaging him by enforcing mandates that restricted who he could interact with and locked him into the "early vegeta clone" archetype. im sorry this is going to be so fucking long b im going to go into detail about shadow's creation and his purpose, who he is as shown up until sonic 06, and how they both fumbled his character FUCKING IMMENSELY.

[SEE READMORE FOR ESSAY. It concludes: "Okay I restrained myself. According to the word counter website this is sitting at 1,712 words. Holy shit."]

Shadow was initially created 50 years ago for the purpose of achieving immortality by the United Federation (the in-game equivalent of the US), though he was also created for the research of weapons of mass destruction. The scientist the president had insisted take on the project, Gerald Robotnik, had initially refused because he thought it was crossing an ethical line and that it would be used for war (he was right lmao), but then he realized he could co-opt the project in order to cure his granddaughter Maria of her deadly illness called NIDS (basically HIV/AIDS). So he agrees and they start experimenting with chaos energy and living things and when that works, they go to making prototypes of this so called "Ultimate Lifeform". Gerald needed help though and thats when the Black Arms appeared, an alien race that came every 50 years with the Black Comet. In exchange for the delivery of the chaos emeralds in 50 years time, Black Doom the leader will help Gerald make this Ultimate Lifeform, even giving some of his DNA in order for it to work. The first prototype, the Biolizard, showed promise but in the end was too violent and couldnt survive without its support system. This caused distress among the scientist. The next creature was a little hedgehog, made using Black Doom's DNA. While tensions brewed, Shadow was created. Gerald knew that they would take this creation and try to turn him into a weapon, so he gave him a heart and personality similar to his granddaughter Maria. Maria and Shadow were inseparable, practically siblings. Shadow is 15 years old and Maria couldn't have been older than 16. (Sonic X places her at 12 but since that isn't official I don't really count it). Shadow often wondered about his purpose was, always wondering who he was. As tensions among the staff rose, the international military group Guardian Units of Nations (GUN) stepped in. They saw the danger such an experiment could bring and decided to take Shadow for themselves. They raided the ARK and killed all the researches and evacuated some of the civilians, aiming to get Shadow and Gerald. Gerald sends Maria and Shadow to the escape pods. However, a GUN soldier shows up. Maria puts Shadow in an escape pod to keep him safe but she is shot by the GUN soldier as Shadow can only watch in horror. Literally kills a sick teenage girl in cold blood. Maria tells Shadow that he was born to make people happy and keep them safe. He was not made to be a weapon, but to be a protector. That her wish is that he will help fulfill everyone else's wishes. Maria's last words to her little brother being goodbye and that promise as she makes sure he survives. GUN went with their plan of the cover up, telling the public there was a freak accident and all the scientist except Gerald were victims of it. Gerald is detained and sees Maria's name in the list of dead. He went mad with grief and instead of continuing to work on the cryogenically frozen Shadow to service the military, he used him as a weapon for revenge. He creates a program to cause the ARK to crash into the earth and even brainwashes Shadow, altering his memories of Maria in order for him to carry out the destruction of the planet. GUN, fearing that Gerald might retaliate a little too late, stopped his work and execute Gerald by firing squad. They keep Shadow dormant for 50 years.

He's awaken by Eggman, who wishes to rule the world using the Ultimate Lifeform from his grandfather's journal. Shadow speaks subserviently, referring to Eggman as "my master" and using the Japanese pronoun of 僕 (boku) which is more humble and is informally giving deference. This is only for this interaction, since Shadow has plans and he takes charge, with sometimes Eggman looking at Shadow for confirmation, such as when Rouge asks to join them. Sonic Adventure 2 is the game we first are introduced to Shadow and its when he is at his most raw and mentally unwell. He is traumatized and the pain is fresh. It may have been 50 years for everybody else, but it had just happened for him. He grapples with flashbacks due to his PTSD, he hears Maria in his head telling him to keep his promise and to not "make her upset" and he is overall not in a good place mentally. He is willing to kill himself if it means keeping the false promise that Gerald had placed in his head. He does this plan, not because he himself wants to, but because its what Maria wants and for the longest time, that is how Shadow goes about it. Shadow cares so much, and its seen by how he sees Maria in Rouge and he risks his life to save her. It shows in how much he loved Maria and how he will keep this promise regardless of what happens to him. When Amy speaks to him, he is instantly reminded of Maria and he remembers the true promise. He cries at the memory, and then immediately goes to set things right. He lets himself fall to his death because "this is what you wanted, right Maria?" This kid is 15 and traumatized and he is hurting so much and it GETS WORSE.

Eggman finds him, and makes android copies of him, then seals him away with a killer robot in an abandoned hold. He spends the entirety of that game becoming close to Omega and Rouge who find them both and he doesn't even know if he is the true Shadow because of all these androids running around and he has no memories. He remembers nobody. Not Rouge, not Amy, not Sonic. The only thing he remembered was Maria's name and her death. Not even the good memories. From Heroes (this game I just explained) and on, Shadow's main antagonists deal with wanting to control him. What we know of Shadow currently is that he is selfless, he loves with all his heart, he is self-sacrificing, and though he is withdrawn and cocky, he still is willing to say that he thinks Sonic might actually be the Ultimate Lifeform. Surely, they've given us this great thing! How can they possibly fuck it up?

Shadow he Hedgehog (2005) absolutely destroys his character and gives him an absolutely bad rep BUT there is some good stuff in there. Remember the Black Arms? Remember that deal Gerald made? Yeah it's been 50 years. Knock knock, Shadow's other shitty dad is here!! You thought this kid's mind was gonna stop being manipulated? lmao. anyways shadow the hedgehog makes shadow absolutely edgy. he's kinda a dick he just... can kill people. it's a Weird game. sad to say he never recovered from this with the exception of Sonic 06!!

Now Sonic 06 is literally a broken game that can barely run (still funny tho so I play it) BUT THE WRITING FOR SHADOW'S STORY IS ABSOLUTELY SO GOOD?? they made him a GUN agent though which was. Something I was NOT expecting. BUT its a return from the edgy hedgehog we saw the year before so I'll look past him working for the same organization that killed his sister. A common thread about Shadow-specific villains/antagonists are that they all want to control him in some way shape or form before killing him. Gerald, Metal Sonic (kinda. he just set off the identity crisis by showing all the Shadow androids), Black Doom, Mephiles, Infinite. They all follow this thread which happens to accidentally create a story arc (bc it was definitely by accident) but thats not what we're talking about. ANyways, Mephiles wants to get to Shadow for Shadow sealing him away in a scepter in the past (theres time travel it gets confusing) and Shadow manages to win not only because of his own strength, but because he was not alone. He is made up of the people he loves, just like Sonic is, and everytime Shadow beats Mephiles is because he had Omega, Rouge, or both with him.

Sounds good right? Just one stinker game so surely its all fine? No. Because then Sega set mandates. Shadow wasn't allowed to have friends, he was not allowed to crack jokes or be anything but an angry rival to Sonic. They dissolved Team Dark (the team between Rouge, Shadow, and Omega) and now Shadow is alone. His biggest strength used to be his love for his friends and their presence in his lives and now they boiled him down to an "early Vegeta" clone. Sonic Boom released, and he is literally just a violent asshole who antagonizes Sonic for no reason. He barely shows up anymore and when he does its so painfully off that its best he doesn't. The writers of the meta era didnt really use him (which is a relief because they admitted that they only ever read wikipedia articles about sonic games and never actually played them). He was decent in Forces but he barely showed up and honestly that's for the best. I have major issues with how they write him in the comics as well but I think that has to do with mandates and it seems that theyre letting off since Frontiers since all the characters were revamped and are giving us good characterization. He's going to be in the next Sonic movie and I am hoping they do him justice.

[limetimo]

RAB fics I read 25-16 april

Downfall by Lunarde the black brothers trying to survive Walburga's parenting and insane abuse from other family members, like holly f the thing with Reg and the well was sooo inspired* (* fucked up beyond recognition in frish and exciting ways)

the deadly seven by remusjlupin1981 so regulus has a son, Apollo, whom he drops off at grimmauld place before going off to die in the cave (but it's tagged Regulus Lives AU, sooo...). Apollo gets raised first by wally then by the Malfoys and is a stone cold hard bitch who adores his younger cousin Draco and has a weird obsession with Harry Potter. Also Sirius is out of azkaban early

Misadventures' of Lily Evans and her three dipshit boys by Koten_Bliss jegulus asks Lily to surrogate for them. the formatting needs work (not quite a block of text but there needs to be more space between paragraphs) but I'll just feed it to a text-to-speech thing and we'll be golden

Ron and Harrys immortal Times. by CUM_Monster12 ron and harry reincarnate all over the place and end up being Orion and walburga firstborn twins

Tale As Old As Time by xojosten james interrupts regulus as reg is messing with a time turner in the room of requirement and poof, they end up in 1998, when Golden trio is having their eight year. James is a himbo and I need more Draco and Regulus interactions ♥

Vows by MorlayWritings regulus getting closer withxenophilius lovegood (romantically)

Party games and plaid PJ's by redhairedPadfoot everyone's a gay disaster, jegulus wolfstar the works, cute

For here you are, standing there, loving me (whether or not you should) by OptimisticDinosaur Sound of Music wolfstar AU, it's just, soooo goooood. and Regulus is a cutie patootie side character that's secretly a main character, just doing his best to protect his brother, his brother's 9 adopted kids, and his brother's new boyfriend

The Beginning Of An End And The Start Of a Story (One-shots) by StarRatzz various one shots, i only read a few so far but the writing is good

Strikers (takes two) by aureusprongs muggle uni football trans regulus slowburn jegulus ♥♥♥♥♥ im loving it

Pirates, Parrots, and Pining (oh my) by OptimisticDinosaur sirius faked his death, run of to the sea to join the pirates, and can't stop flirting with a fellow captain remus lupin. mastermind matchmaker Peter. james is living his best life. regulus has a cute little role of "OMFG SIRI WE FAKED YOUR DEATH STOP USING YOUR REAL NAME FFS". def check it out.

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers? by georgia_sk regulus so bamf he went insane, first he ended voldy and now he's cooming for Dumbledore because dumbles is a little warmongering bitch. also slow repairing of his relationship with sirius, tonnes of trauma, slowburn jegulus, wolfstar and rosekiller getting their shit together.

Basilisks, Boggarts and Boyfriends (oh my) by OptimisticDinosaur sirius has custody of little harry and needs his house clean of all critters and dark magic. only, the exterminator, Remus, is fucken CUTE and harry adores him. Really, what other choice does sirius have than to smuggle various creatures back inside grimmauld place so that remus has to come back? CUTE AF

Lead Me Into the Light by third_crow regulus needs to get rid of a creepy ex, scores a new boyfriend in the process. jegulus

SUGAR HIGH by IvyCore RICH JAMES (RICH) SUGAR BABY REGULUS I REPEAT JAMES PAYS BIG BUCKS FOR REGULUS TO BE MEAN TO HIM AND THEY FALLIN LOVE AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEIR PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP TRAUMAS TO FIGHT FOR THEIR LOVE

Pretty by rsbarelle Regulus' boyfried is pretty. the first year said so