#very sure now they wrote him for ME specifically
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drawing the line | bucky barnes x fem!reader



THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR MARVEL'S THUNDERBOLTS*.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader Summary: Bucky Barnes has messed up big time ... he just doesn't know it until he sees you and realises he really should've checked his texts. Warnings: There are very subtle mentions to reader having some issues mentally but nothing specific is mentioned other than her being very guarded and angry. This is inspired by and takes place during a scene from the Thunderbolts movie! It has direct spoilers for the film! If you haven't seen it and don't want to be spoiled, don't read this one yet. Word Count: 1.9k. A/N: It has been three whole years since I wrote for Bucky Barnes. Thanks to Thunderbolts, I am so back đ„°. I had this idea for the movie when I saw it again yesterday and I plotted most of it out at work today. I'm really happy with how it turned out so I hope that you will all enjoy it. More Bucky fics coming soon â as well as more Bob and JoaquĂn too! đ Requests are always open.
Bucky realises heâs made a mistake pretty quickly.
In his defence, he isnât very good at checking his phone â especially now that heâs a congressman and he has even less time on his hands than usual. But heâd been worried about Mel, the assistant of Valentina, and had figured that by tracking her phone like sheâd asked, he might have a better chance at finally taking Valentina down.
If he had read his texts, though, he wouldâve seen one from you. Valentina says I have one last mission and my contract is up. Iâm on my way. Have a bad feeling about this one though. Can you track me?Â
Yeah, heâs messed up.
Heâs even more certain of that when heâs pulling the unconscious bodies of Ava Starr, Yelena Belova, John Walker and Alexei Shostakov out of the limo heâd blown up and he finds you with them. Thankfully, youâre not injured.Â
When you come to, the first thing you see is Bucky, sitting opposite you with his eyebrows knotted in worry. For a moment, everything is fuzzy and youâre not sure how you got here â and then everything comes back to you.
Youâd been trying to outrun Valentinaâs men whoâd been coming after you after your escape when Bucky had shown up. Everyone in the car had been more than excited and youâd felt relieved â heâd seen your text and heâd come to save you â until heâd practically blown the limo up with you inside of it.
âWhat the hell, Bucky?â You blink, squeezing your eyes shut briefly as you adjust to the light in the room. You look around, seeing the others all sat nearby â tied up, some of them even restrained with pieces of metal that Bucky had wrapped around them.Â
Itâs when you see them tied up that you realise youâre not.Â
âDoll,â Bucky starts, his voice soft. âListen, Iââ
âDo not âdollâ me,â you shake your head. âSo, blowing up our car and almost killing me is okay, but you draw the line at tying me up?â You motion to the others and then to yourself.
Bucky sighs. He knew youâd be mad, but this is another level of mad. He understands â of course he does, youâd nearly died. But regardless, heâd hoped youâd be a little more lenient. âI didnât even know you were in the car.â
You raise your eyebrows and scoff. âI text you and say hey, this mission feels wrong and you donât think twice? Am I talking to Bucky Barnes right now? What happened to the guy that ran seven red lights two months ago when I got into a minor car accident just to make sure I was okay?âÂ
He stands up and runs a hand through his hair, walking a few steps away from you. Behind him, you stand up as well, crossing your arms over your chest and staring him down â like you do very well. Bucky knows that you can be stubborn when you want to, but this is the next level to that. He loves your stubborn side. He loves this side of you as well⊠but he hates that itâs him that the anger is directed at.
This is not the you that heâd been tangled in the sheets with only a few nights ago. This is not the you that had kissed him goodbye before heâd headed off to work last week. This is the you that heâd seen the first time he ever met you. Strong, guarded as hell and pissed off at the world.
âYou texted me?â He mutters, and then regrets the words the second theyâre out of his mouth. He resists the urge to pull his phone out of his pocket and check his unread messages.Â
For a second, you just stare at him, and then you start laughing. âI texted you? Are you serious right now?â You exclaim, turning away from him and shaking your head. âNo, why on earth would I text my boyfriend when I was going into a potentially life threatening situation set up by Valentina Allegra de Fontaine? Iâll remember that for next time and keep it to myself, since youâre apparently too busy to check.â
âWell, would you have even read my message if I had replied? Considering you were on a mission? Yeah, I donât think so,â Bucky canât help but bite back a little.
âNo, probably not,â you admit. âBecause I donât have a phone anymore â it fell out of my pocket when I was running for my life back at the vault and then it got incinerated, like I would have if it had been even one second later!â
Your voice is raised even louder now, basically yelling at Bucky, though you hate to do it. You and Bucky never fight like this, not really. But this whole situation has gotten under your skin and you canât help but be mad at yourself for thinking Bucky had come to save you, when in reality he was just there to kidnap the others for some unknown reason.
Unsurprisingly, thereâs nothing that Bucky can say to that. He stares at you, eyes wide as the full gravity of the situation settles on his shoulders. Youâd almost been incinerated. And then Bucky had almost killed you himself. Was there any coming back from this?
In the silence, you hear a cough and both of you turn to look over at the others, all of whom are now awake and sitting upright, watching the two of you. How much of your argument had they heard? You wince internally and start to walk towards them.
âYou either untie them, or you tie me up with them,â you say, sitting down beside Walker.
Walker looks over at you, a confused look on his face. He obviously had no idea that youâre with Bucky, even though the two of them know each other. You try to ignore the feeling in your stomach, the one that says that maybe Bucky means more to you than you do to him, especially since Walker doesnât even know about you two.
Bucky thinks it over for a moment before shaking his head and walking over to you again. He crouches down beside you and decides heâs going to try again â even though the eyes of every other person in the room are focused on him. He reaches up to try and tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear but you bat his hand away.Â
âIâm not tied up so I can still tuck my own hair behind my ear, Barnes.âÂ
You turn away from him, looking over at Ava and Alexei.Â
âThis is your boyfriend?â Ava asks, looking between the two of you. âGirl.â
The one word says everything. You almost laugh at her.
It doesnât take long for Bucky to make his decision. He stands up again and then beckons for you to stand up as well. âStand up and let me tie you up, then,â he says, hoping that he sounds as nonchalant as he is intending to be. Even though not one part of him is actually intending on tying you up. Itâs true â he draws the line at that.
You stand up and one second later, Bucky has picked you up and thrown you over his shoulder. You yelp, hitting his back as he walks out of the room, leaving the other four alone. âBucky, what the hell are you doing!?â You exclaim.
He pushes the front door of the garage open with a foot and then kicks it closed behind him. Once he sets you down on the ground outside, you move to push him, but heâs quick to grab your wrists and place them gently on his chest instead. Youâre mad, but heâs not going to let you hurt him, or accidentally hurt you more than he already has.
âIâm not continuing this argument inside in front of all of the others,â he says, nodding his head towards the garage and trying to focus on the feeling of your hands on his hands and the pressure of them on his chest. Youâre here. Youâre alive. He didnât kill you. Nor did Valentina.
âI donât want to talk to you,â you shake your head and try to pull your hands away, but his grip is too strong. âIâve said everything that I needed to say in there, Bucky. I asked for your help, you almost killed me yourself. Itâs clear enough.â
âYou said what you said, but you barely let me get a word in, doll.â
You shrug your shoulders and look away from him, focusing on the mountains in the distance and wonder how long itâll take the others to get free so you can all get the hell out of here. Even though a small part of you, the part of you that isnât clouded by your anger right now, wants nothing more than to wrap your arms around Buckyâs body, bury your head in his chest and feel his arms around you.
âIâm sorry I didnât see your message,â he begins, hoping youâll let him talk. âIâve been so bad with anything thatâs not work these days and trying to bring down Valentina that Iâve put everything else to the side. I shouldnât have put you there too.â
âYeah,â you mutter, still unable to look at him.
âI didnât know you were in that limo when I blew it up. I just knew that there were people in there that could help me bring down Valentina once and for all and I was going to stop that limo at all costs,â he explains. âYou donât know how terrified I was when I saw you were inside of it. I swear, I spent five minutes just checking to make sure you werenât injured before I brought you all here. I couldnât bring myself to tie you up after all that, doll.â
âLikely story,â you huff under your breath, as if the thought of him checking you over to make sure you were okay doesnât make your heart beat faster and your fingers, still pressed to his chest, itch to pull him closer to you.
Bucky removes one of his hands from yours and carefully reaches down to cup your jaw, forcing you to look up at him. You try and restrain yourself for a few moments before eventually meeting his eyes. Just looking in them tells you that heâs speaking the truth.Â
âI would never do anything knowingly to hurt you, doll,â he says.Â
âI know,â you reply, voice soft as you try not to lean too much into his hand.Â
âThen do you forgive me?â
âNo,â you shake your head, but in the progress, you canât help but relax into his grip a little. You let out a sigh, your eyes fluttering closed at the feeling of his hand on your face. âI donât forgive you yet, Bucky. I need time.â
Bucky nods and lets out a small breath of relief. âIâll take it.â
You remove one of your hands from Buckyâs chest and place it over the hand thatâs still on your jaw. âWe need to talk,â you start. âNot you and me, all of us. There are things that happened down there in that vault that you need to know about before we go after Valentina, if we can even get the others to join us.â
âOkay,â Bucky agrees. âJust one more thing.â He leans down and presses his lips to your forehead before dropping his hand from your jaw and stepping back away from you, clearly wanting to give you space even though you hadnât asked for it. The thoughtfulness makes your heart swell in your chest. âCâmon doll, letâs go.â
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#thunderbolts#thunderbolts x reader#thunderbolts x you#marvel#marvel x you#marvel x reader#mcu
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Remmick NSFW Alphabet
This is pretty self explanatory. I haven't really formatted this or proof read it, I'll do that tomorrow. Right now I'm tired and need to sleep lol but I wanna get this posted since it just came to me. Wrote this in my notes app bc I couldn't be bothered opening docs, thats how quick this came to me lol so theres not even spell check really.
I do personally prefer sub remmick but I've tried to have a mix in here of both because I think it's more realistic to him as a character. I might add some more stuff it tomorrow idk.
Warnings: nsfw content, mentions of drinking blood, one section with gore mention that you can skip, idk i can't remember tbh
A = Aftercare (what theyâre like after sex)
He doesn't like to clean you up after sex. Not because he doesn't care but because he likes how you look all dirty and messy. So cleanup is out of the question unless you're willing to wait 30 minutes for him to have his fill, by which point he's usually ready to again lol. He does like to cuddle though, he's quite a physical guy and keeping contact with you is important to him.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerâs)
He really likes your hands. I've made a post already about how he likes to have your fingers in his mouth and i stand by that. So i wont say too much about it again here.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He's nasty guys. He like to cum on you. His favourite place is probably your stomach but he doesn't really care where as long as he can see it dripping down you. He cums a lot and because he's a vampire he can go again pretty quickly, probably after like 10 minutes, so by the end of the night you're covered. He also likes to spread it around with his fingers cause he's a weirdo.
He will absolutely eat his own cum. When he cums in your mouth make sure to kiss him afterwards because he loves it, it gets him hard so quick. Or you can just scoop it up with your fingers and push it into his mouth.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Ok I have two things for this. The first one isn't particularly scandalous but it is something I think he'd be embarrassed by. When he's alone and feeling himself he imagines you and him back in his home town from when he was alive, living a quiet life in his childhood home. He loves to imagine you in the dresses the pretty girls used to wear when he was young. Honestly he creates pretty vivid scenarios, bringing you flowers back after a day working on the farm, putting your children to bed after dinner, undressing you slowly, pressing soft kisses to your shoulders. Climbing into bed together and just making gentle love before falling asleep in each other's arms. He keeps this a secret because it goes against his whole philosophy that vampirism is a gift. You two can't have children, atleast not in that way, and he'll never be back in that little house on the farm.
Now for the actually dirty one. I'm not really sure how to explain this but I'm gonna try my best. Basically he likes being told to use parts of you. Like for example, being told he can only use your thighs or your hand to get off. There's something so degrading about it that just really gets him going. It's another one that he wouldn't be able to verbalise, but having to make himself cum while only being able to rut against the sole of your foot or the space between your thighs is humiliating in a hot way. He doesn't have specific body part fetishes, he's not into feet or anything specifically, it's just being told he can only touch that part of you i guess.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyâre doing?)
Very but also not. He's had a lot of sex and he's very good at it, but he doesn't have much experience being vulnerable and having that Intimacy he would have with you if you're in an actual relationship. Remmick is also not very experienced with being cared for by someone and wanted in a way that goes beyond the physical. So yes, he can give you the best night you've ever had, but hold his hand and promise to stay with him forever and he's a bit stumped.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He likes to look at your face so you'll often find yourself in some variation of missionary. Tbh I don't know all the fancy names and neither does remmick, he just wants to look at your eyes. He's quite fond of prone bone though and anything that let's him look up at you.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He definitely goes back and forth. I think simply through his nature or being a vampire, sex isn't always serious for him. He's very old and doesn't view sex in the same special way mortals might, especially in the 30s. But that doesn't mean it isn't special when he's with you. He always values your Intimacy together and often will be quite serious, especially if he's in a more melancholic mood. But he's a Goofy guy, he doesn't take things very seriously and he makes jokes in inappropriate situations that don't usually land. Obviously a lot of his silly guy persona was fake, but i think it's also clear from other interactions where he's trying to really connect with people that remmick is quite an odd guy and that does bleed through into sex. Sometimes he just does weird or random stuff. So yeah I think sex with remmick is a real mixed bag when it comes to seriousness.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He is not groomed at all. He is quite hairy and doesn't see a problem with that. He does trim every so often, but being from a time where shaving body hair just wasn't a thing, he doesn't often think about it. He has a lovely happy trail that leads right from his navel all the way down. He has thick dark curls down there that run wild. If it really bothered you, you could ask him to groom more but I don't think he would. He likes a hairy bush and doesn't get the modern fascination with hairless pussies and balls so he has no interest in it on himself. I just really isn't something he thinks about.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Sex with remmick is always very intimate. Even when it isn't serious, the Intimacy is always there. There's a few reasons for this really. The first is that sex with remmick using involves one of you bleeding, and the exchange of blood is something he sees as very meaningful. It's not only his food source, the thing he survives on, but he also still has many old world believes about humours and the transfer of energy through blood. The second reason is that sex is one of the few times remmick will be vulnerable. You can really break down those walls and see another side of him, especially if you've been at it for a while. And the last is that if you're also a vampire, you and remmick have a mental link that connects all of your feelings, sensations and thoughts. There's really nothing more intimate than that.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He does it a lot lol. Being in a relationship does nothing to slow him down. Whether you're away from each other, in another room or sat right in front of him, it doesn't matter, he loves to feel himself up. He actually is quite a voyeur and loves to Jack off while you watch, especially if you give him instructions on how to do it. He also loves to have your smell around him while feeling himself, whether it's by just straight up sniffing you or from something of yours he has with him. He always takes something of yours with him when he goes on trips away, usually underwear or a scarf since those have the strongest scent but he'll even take a handkerchief if you offer it.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Honestly, it's probably easier to list things he isn't into. But I'm gonna touch on one isn't haven't really seen or talked about before. Remmick is a masochist. He's also a sadist but there's plenty of fics about that. He loves being hurt. Honestly sometimes he goes too far with it, and he really needs a partner who cares about him enough to draw that line. He talks a big game but he has a lot of self hatred he refuses to acknowledge and pain is a good way for him to ignore that. So its good to put him in a control environment where you can make sure he doesn't go too far. Slap him, choke him, bite him, scratch him. He loves it all.
He also likes to be treated like a dog. I've mentioned this a few times on my blog now haha so hopefully I don't become that girl, but he is really into that. Make him crawl on his hands and knees, tell him to pick your hands, let him hump your leg, he loves it. He likes to lick your face a lot which can be a bit icky but indulge him. He like to be punished and rewarded, it's a good way to keep him in check. And he likes this dynamic outside of the bedroom as well. Send out on errands and call him a good boy when he does well. Give him head pats when hes good and smack him when he's bad. Ah I can't get carried away here.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere and everywhere. I've already talked about this but he will fuck you on the side of the road or in the middle of a bar he doesn't give a shit. He likes for people to watch and he likes to be dirty. But there is something special to him about a private bed, it's somewhat nostalgic and makes his old man brain feel good or something I guess.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Again, anything and everything. This man is so horny, he is ready to go 24/7. But simple things like the wind blowing through your hair, watching you walk barefoot through a field or the smell of you as you walk past, are often the ones that do it the most him. Oh and watching you perform, if you're some kind of artist. That really drives him wild.
N = No (something they wouldnât do, turn offs)
I don't thing he likes the thought of really degrading someone he's actually in love with much. Don't get me wrong, he can be a mean dom when he wants, but I don't think he would ever do something that would actually make you feel bad. His whole world revolves around his partner, they're his god in a weird, possessive way, and he wouldn't do something like brand you or insult your physical appearance. He would also never make you feel bad about your personality. While he might call you a slut or pathetic, things like insulting you for being needy he just wouldn't do. I think he also would be interested in others degrading you. So while he enjoys bringing others into your sex life, it's purely for them to service you. He'll never tolerate someone insulting you in anyway.
He also won't let any of the fresh vampires near you because he doesn't think it's a good idea. Even if you're also a vampire, they can be too rowdy and he doesn't like it so yeah there's a waiting time for anyone freshly turned.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
HES A MUNCH.
Cmon we all know that. This man loves eating pussy, day and night. If it was possible he would never stop. He loves the taste, the smell, the feeling of your legs squeezing his head. He just can't get enough. He eats like man starving, and he laps that shit up like a dog. He also moans so loud while eating you out. He honestly doesn't like 69 very much because he wants to focus on the task at hand lmao.
I also have to say, he loves sucking dick. He find it so relaxing, he could honestly fall asleep with a dick in his mouth. He loves to struggle on a big cock and he loves to take a small one fully into his mouth. The one thing I'm sad about is that I don't have a dick for this man to suck because it really is one of his favourite things.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Ah it really depends. His mood changes quite quickly and that influences how he fucks. A session can start out one way and change up half way through. There's not much consistency with Remmick.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Remmick loves a quickie. He'll ask for them all the time, at every opportunity. God forbid you have to be somewhere on time because he will stop you at some point to ask for a quick fuck. Most of the time he asks for a quickie though, it isn't so he can fuck you, it's so he can get a taste of your pussy.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Yes yes yes. He will give almost anything a try atleast once, although most things he's already done. He's also a massive voyeur as I said before so he doesn't care about getting caught. I mean he shares a hive mind so it doesn't really matter to him anyway.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He's a vampire so his Stamina is very good but not impossibly so. He can if he wants to last a long time each round but remmick is not a patient man so he usually doesn't. You can tell him to hold out though and then he's happy to. But to him it doesn't matter because whether he's cum or not, your fussy is getting eaten. He can go for quite a lot of rounds honestly, probably 4 or 5 most days but stretching up to 7 if he pushes it. But he still needs time between and he doesn't like to over do things so most days it's gonna be more like 2 to 3.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
What toys did they have in the 1930s? I'm not sure i need to do some reading on that. But I think remmick quite likes involving toys both on himself and you, whatever they are. He especially likes bondage on you both although he keeps breaking all the pretty rope you get.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
This man is the king of teasing. Good luck if he gets in one of these moods because there is no escape. It will start at dusk as soon you're up, with light touches and coy looks and continue right up until dawn when he finally let's you cum after hours of fucking you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Remmick is so loud jesus. If you have neighbours, they hate you. And if you're trying to stray hidden you'll have to gag him. Even then you can still hear his panting and muffled moans. He also talks none stop during sex, I mean really runs him mouth. The man does not know how to shut up.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Big gore warning here, i personally feel a bit sick reading stuff like this even though I wrote it so just warning you guys first.
He wants you to bite him. Ok yeah that's obvious. But not just a few times, he wants you to cover him all over in deep, bloody bites. He wants it to hurt. He wants people to look at him and think he's been attacked by some wild animal. Honestly he wants you to eat him. To tear chunks off and swallow them. To crack his bones and tear parts off him. Break open his ribs and pull out his heart and rip pieces out with your teeth. He finds the idea of being consumed deeply erotic and also very intimate. It makes him feel very safe, knowing pieces of him are inside of you.
X = X-ray (letâs see whatâs going on under those clothes)
Nice and thick. Probably a solid 6 to 6.5 inches with a good girth. He stretches you out just right. Uncut and a red tip. Heavy balls that hang low.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
All day everyday, ask and you shall receive. He really is hungry as a dog lol.
You know he's ready for it when he starts drooling. The drool really isn't something he can control, it just happens when his body decides its time to eat which often gets mixed up with being horny. So yeah, it's pretty common for you to look over and see him covered in drool, mouth open and shameless.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep)
Depends. Some days he's straight to sleep while others he gets kinda sad and wistful after sex and stays awake watching you. He also gets kinda stressed you're gonna disappear or leave if he closes his eyes sometimes so you might occasionally find him staring at you for a long time. But your presence is very comforting for him and he always sleeps better with you.
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MC injures their knee
Characters: gn!MC and Demon Brothers
Main Masterlist
Anon request: I'm very curious as to how the demon brothers would handle an MC / Y/N that accidentally injured their knee and can't move their leg for a while as a result. Like, everything was fine and dandy, the day was going well! But as they were walking from one area to the other, suddenly they turned too quickly, or perhaps they awkwardly shifted their weight in a moment of absentmindedness - and now their kneecap is out of the socket. Content one moment, distressed the next once they realize what happened. They scream so loudly from the pain that you can hear it outside the House of Lamentation, immediately making any noise go quiet. Even once they (very carefully) get it back in place and the pain starts to subside, they're shaking and in tears, completely unable to walk on that side. They're gonna be out of commission for a few days, may or may not have permanent damage in the area, but it slowly gets better over time. It's okay if you don't wanna do this one, btw! This is just based on something that happened to me earlier this week, gotta love Funky Joint Syndrome (hEDS) :')
A/N: I wrote this three different times, and on every occasion, I found myself unable to not write the little intro at the beginning. Even when you already put the context, anon. I hope you enjoy it and you're feeling better after all this time! Sorry for taking so long! <3
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I like to think this would happen one of those days when the House of Lamentation is half empty because the universe likes to be that awful most of the time.
Youâre almost thankful that, for once, you can finally run around your home with no demons trailing behind you. Sure, you love the brothers, but their demand for your attention can get suffocating sometimes.
And this specific day, each one of them is doing their own thing in separate places. Lucifer is at the castle, Mammon at the casino, Asmo is at a party, and Beel is running laps around the house. With the rest of the brothers rotting away in their rooms, it is safe to say you have all the house to yourself.
You take advantage of the situation by admiring the architecture, the oil paintings, the details in the staircase windows and the statues. You feel dumb at the beginning, but how could you live in a mansion without even attempting to appreciate its⊠unique beauty?
Murder house aesthetic, right?
The problem comes when you accidentally trip while stepping on the curled corner of one of the carpets.
The movement awkwardly twists your leg and makes your patella sit on the side instead of the front, where itâs supposed to be. Your joint locks itself, unnaturally bulgy, and sends waves of pain through all your nervous system.
You arenât sure what noise the brothers heard first, either your fall or your cries, but they are all there with you in mere seconds. And those who are out of the house are on their way the moment they receive the informative message.
Thankfully, Lucifer managed to stop Diavolo and Barbatos from coming with him.
And despite Beel being the closest, the first one to return is Mammon.
Asmo takes a little longer because the tears are blurring his vision.
But back to the incident.
Satan manages to pop your patella back into position with magic while Levi and Belphie comfort you, and in the back of your mind, the commotion makes you feel a tiny bit embarrassed.
It hurts like hell, yes, but you donât want the whole house to think youâre dying. Last time that happened, you, at least, went with a fight, but this time, you just tripped. And theyâre taking it like your legâs going to be amputated.
On the other hand, though, despite being overbearing, they take incredible care of you.
Since Beel is already used to it thanks to Belphie, he offers to take you anywhere, even if itâs within walking distance. It doesnât matter if itâs a piggyback ride or a princess carry; whatever makes you feel more comfortable and painless, he will do.
Lucifer lets you skip classes for the necessary recovery period, not even contemplating the idea of seeing you walk up so many stairs and then stay sit and still for hours on end. If you try to act tough for the sake of being a responsible student, he may order the older twin to keep guard outside your bedroom door. Heâs making sure you rest.
Satan understands Luciferâs approach and, surprise surprise, is on board with it; but rather than making sure you stay in the house, he guarantees you donât feel the need to leave at all. He will offer his notes and tutor you on what you donât understand, laying down beside you in bed with books and papers scattered around you.
Levi, on the other hand, is set on keeping you entertained, and understanding that it is better if you donât move for a while, he brings his games and manga to your room. Itâs almost too much and proves to be unnecessary because you end up spending the days marathoning The Tale of the Seven Lords yet again and talking about it nonstop afterwards.
Asmo is more of a self-care type of guy and wants you to know that. He understands how you could prefer rotting away in bed while sick or injured, but you should really take care of your body! Each morning, he marches straight to your room after finishing his own routine (because you have to see him at his best) and applies himself every ointment your beautiful face could need to stay the same. If you let him, and heâll promise heâll be careful, heâll even massage some anti-inflammatory cream in the injured area.
Mammon becomes your favourite errand boy, leaving the house in search of every craving you may have, even if itâs stupid. Sure, heâll complain, but thatâs part of his charm. He wouldnât be putting on his boots if it really bothered him, right? No matter the cost, heâll pay for it; unless itâs expensive, in which case Lucifer may add an involuntary contribution (wink wink).
And while all of this is taking place, Belphie is peacefully sleeping right next to you, hidden under the blankets and blissfully unaware of all the noise. He offers cuddles, comfort, warmth and good dreams, and if your knee is feeling especially painful, he may even let you hold onto his tail like a plushie.
If thereâs a bad part to any of this, itâs that now they wonât let you out of their sight for even a minute.
What did you expect?
You got hurt in the comfort of your own house!
While they were away!!
Clearly, they need to stay closer.
.
.
Taglist: @ilovecandys2010 @ollieoven @kingofspadesdelusion @whimsybloom @mia4gotcookiez
#obey me#obey me! shall we date?#om! shall we date#om! swd#obey me x reader#obey me x gender neutral reader#obey me x gn!reader#obey me x gn!mc#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me levi#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmo#obey me asmodeus#obey me beel#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphie#obey me belphegor#obey me writing#obey me headcanons#obey me fluff#obey me hurt/comfort#obey me requests#anon request#obey me brothers
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Show me where it hurts (part 1)
Miguel O'Hara x spiderwoman!reader
(AO3 Mirror), Part 2, Main Masterlist
summary: Miguel's acting weird, and you make it your mission to find out exactly what's going on.
warnings: no warnings for this chap, pg-13, swearing and canon level violence. smut next chapter xoxo
a/n: this is a combination of 2 asks and this post I saw on here a while ago: flirty/ snarky fem reader, Miguel during a ""rut"" (I don't know if it counts as a rut really, but its to do with his animal instincts/DNA) and Lyla playing matchmaker. I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D
(i wrote this pre seeing spiderverse 2, so i think characterisation is a little off, esp for Lyla, apologies! I'll fix it in my upcoming fics)
edit: I use the term "bichita" which I have been informed can be read not as I intended in Spanish. I'm not a native speaker so I want to apologise in advance. I'm doing more research for my future fics and leaving this up as a testament to my stupidity. Spanish speakers, feel free to correct me / clown my ass in the comments. My bad guys :(
wc: 3.6k
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You think Miguel is avoiding you.Â
One of your closest friends, giving you the runaround for months, it seems. Calling the two of you close friends is a little extreme, sure. You've only known O'Hara for two years, and been in love with him for slightly less than that, thank you very much. And yes, he refuses to call you by anything but your last name. And the last time you saw him he wouldn't so much as look at you, but that was besides the point.Â
"..the point," You tell Lyla, in between exasperated bites of cereal, "... is that aren't elite forces of spiderpeople supposed to, you know, have some spiderpeople kick ass once in a while? And where exactly is our fearless leader? I haven't seen O'Hara's scary ass in weeks, and I'm starting to miss it."
She gives you a look, one that says this isn't what I'm programmed for , but you pointedly ignore it.Â
"His ass, by the way." You clarify. "I very specifically miss his ass. Remind me to get his routine. I know girls that would kill forâŠ"
"How the fuck did you get in here?" A voice croaks. You turn behind you and see Miguel, not in his suit, but wrapped up in a blanket like he's just woken up. And he looks rough, like a train ran him over on the way here: puffy eyes, splotchy skin, tension kneaded into his brow.Â
"Wow." Your spoon drops into the milk. "You look like shit.."Â
He furrows his brow even deeper, if that was possible. " Mierda. You shouldn't be here."Â
"This isn't quite the welcome party I was expecting, man. I'm the only one to actually turn up to one of your meetings, and this is what I get?"Â
"I thought I told Lyla to cancel," He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.Â
"Cancel? Since when do you miss a chance to talk about rules and protocol?"Â
"I don't have time for this-"Â
"-and I'm not leaving without a proper explanation. Is everything okay?"Â
"It's actually way worse now you're here." He deadpans.Â
"Haha ." You turn to Lyla. "You drop everything to travel halfway across the multiverse and this asshole won't even say thanks."Â
"Thanks, but this asshole needs you to leave. Now."Â
This is the most he's spoken to you in forever, and you hate that you like it. You just want his attention, however it comes. If that means dragging this out so maybe he acknowledges you, touches you, looks at you - then so be it. Squinting, you get closer to him. You scan his face for anything to latch onto. You put a hand on his shoulder, still searching.Â
"You sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if-"Â
"Si, si." He grits his teeth, looking away. "M'just fine. I'll explainâŠ. later."
"...because I'm your right hand man?" You grin, poking at his brow. "Stop frowning so much Miguel, you're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."
He flushes, nervous, and swats you away. "-what? N-No. You're not my right hand man and I like my face just the way it is. Now, leave. "
Making your way to the door, you tap your nose teasingly. "You know where to find me!"Â
When the door closes with a click, you make your way down the corridor, and stop in your tracks when you hear it. It's muffled, but with the strain of your supersenses you can make out Miguel's voice just beyond the wall.Â
"I justâŠ. don't want her to see me like this⊠Lyla, it's not happening⊠I can't tell herâŠ." Tell her what, exactly?Â
Resolutely, you make up your mind. Miguel O'Hara's got a secret. And before you leave for home, you're gonna do everything in your God given power to wear him down and find out.Â
~~~
Despite his insistence otherwise, you liked to think of yourself as O'Hara's right hand man - and most of the other spiderpeople thought so too. You were one of the very first he recruited, after crash landing onto your earth like a spiderman-shaped meteor; the two of you were inseparable. Miguel was stubborn and headstrong and thought he was right all the time. Infuriatingly, he was, but that didn't stop you from telling him to get his head out of his own ass when his ego grew too big.Â
He was different around you, you think. Softer, sometimes. Harsher, other times. He told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to or not; the result of mutual respect and agonising persistence. Slowly, you had chipped away his hard exterior; the one he built because he thought he needed to push people away. In that regard, you were similar, but this need manifested in you like a weed - an awful, awful compulsion to joke and laugh at your own expense, to keep others at an arm's length. You had spent your whole life picking and pruning away at yourself, looking for perfection. Even after all this, multiverse-hopping and fighting alongside people who were the closest things you had to friends , it wasn't enough. There was still something missing.Â
Ironically, Miguel had told you something similar the one of the last times you had spoken. You had fucked up a mission, well and truly. In the aftermath, all you can remember is coming back to base, limping on Jessica's arm.Â
"She's hurt!" She cries out. Lyla materialises and leads you both to the med bay, inspecting any visible wounds. There's a deep laceration, sticky with blood, at the base of your stomach. You shift onto the bed and hiss with pain.Â
Miguel is quick to follow, face twisted with confusion, pain, sadness. Even in your haze, you feel the tension radiating off of him as he drags over a cart of supplies.Â
"What happened?" He strains.Â
"I don't even⊠it happened so fast. We got ambushed, and all of a sudden I'm on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight and⊠" She sobs. "...she jumped in front of me. God, she saved my life-"Â
"-wasn't your fault, Jess." You croak, trying to sit up. "And I'm fine. Just need to walk it offâŠ"
"Sit, bichita," His nickname makes you frown, despite yourself, and you settle back down. "Lyla, what's the damage?"
Your vision goes spotty, and Lyla's voice barely registers. All you can feel is searing pain in your side, but Miguel is warm, oh so warm. You clutch his arms, and force him to look you in the eye.Â
"M'ready, Miguel." He nods weakly, but you don't think he understands. "I mean it . I can lead, j-just need another chance and I won't let you down⊠Jess, tell him that I can-"Â
"It's okay. I believe you. You just need to relax for me, hmm?" He clutches at your hand, tight, and it's like you're the only two people in the world. "You did good. I promise."
Faintly, you nod. You feel a pinch at your arm, and Jessica's there, with an empty vial of something in her hands. The pain washes over you, and you fight to keep your eyes open. In those last few moments of light, you swear you feel a shaky kiss pressed to your temple.Â
"Sleep, mi bichito amoroso. Sleep."
When you come to, you're still in the medbay, moonlight streaming through. Well, artificial moonlight. Time worked a little differently here, something Miguel explained to you a while ago - God knows what about dilation and quantum interference. It makes you smile now, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain to no avail. You were the only spiderman this side of the multiverse without a degree in quantum tech, you had said with a lopsided smile.Â
You move to sit, and pain shoots up your side. Groaning, you push through it, determined to get out of this bed and find the others. As if on cue, Miguel walks in, almost leaping towards you.Â
"You should⊠mierda ! You should be resting in bed."
You pout as you stumble into his chest. He hooks an arm around you and leads you back. You clamber in, sighing. "M'fine, O'Hara."
"Your guts were halfway out of your body less than 24 hours ago. So stay put, or you might give me another heart attack."
You scoff, incredulous. "You were worried?"Â
He shrugs. " 'Course I was."
"Why? You know I'm practically indestructible." You give him a shit eating grin, and poke the frown appearing at his brow. He doesn't bat you away like he usually does.Â
"Famous last words, bichita." He sighs. You can't speak a lick of Spanish, but you know he only calls you that word when you've frustrated him to his limit. So you take it as a win, for now.Â
He drops into the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?"Â
"Just peachy, dollface." You wink, and he doesn't so much as groan.Â
"I'm being serious. You went through something pretty traumaticâŠ"
"You want me to tell you it hurts, so, so bad, daddy? " You pout and flutter your eyelashes mockingly. Miguel shifts in his seat, unable to make eye contact.Â
"That's not what I meant."
"What did you mean, O'Hara? I feel fine. And in a couple of days, I'll feel even better, and I'll be up and about. I can finish what we started and-"Â
"-no, absolutely not." He frowns. "A couple of days? I'm sending you home-"Â
"You can't do that! On whose fucking authority?"
"On the authority of you almost fucking died ! Keeping you safe is our priority right now-"Â
"God, is this my punishment? This is a low blow, O'Hara. You know how hard I've worked for this: months of surveillance and intel a-and I did everything by the book, just like you told me to." You croak. "I fucked up . I know that, and I feel terrible. Give me a chance to make things right; that's all I'm asking. I can do it, I know it. "
He looks at you for a moment, something heavy in his expression. His face contorted, he strips you down to the bone with just his gaze. His voice is so quiet, you almost miss it.Â
"....you're still trying to prove yourself, aren't you?"
Honestly, it catches you off guard. You don't even know what the fuck that means, let alone why he said it.
"I don't⊠I d-don'tâŠ?"Â
"They all love you. Respect you. More than me I think, sometimes." He chuckles at that. "You're good at what you do. The best . What else are you trying to prove? What else do you need ?"Â
Your throat goes dry. You couldn't speak if you wanted to.Â
"I'm not punishing you. You made a mistake, but you don't need to be crucified for it. I just want to keep you safe. I can't⊠we can't lose you."
"Miguel-"
"-this isn't a discussion. And I'm not trying to argue, although I know how much you like to argue." He inches closer, cupping your face gently. You try to move away, blinking back tears. But his hands are steady and he strokes your jaw with so much tenderness you think you hear your heart break. He's pretty, so pretty. You don't deserve him, you think. "There'll be time to fight, bichita. Rest. That's your mission right now."
"C-can't sleep." You breathe. "It hurts."Â
Miguel pauses, head tilted like he's thinking. He taps your shoulder. "Scoot over."
You do as he says, and he slips into the bed with you. It's a tight fit, but he manages, placing you on his chest with an arm gently around your shoulders. You bury your face in his hoodie, sniffling and hoping he doesn't notice you choking back sobs. Absentmindedly, he settles into a rhythm, gentle breathing and playing with your hair, soothing you softly. He pretends he can't hear the tears.Â
"M'gonna stay here until you're asleep. For as long as you need."
You nod, unable to speak for fear of breaking down.Â
~~~
The days after felt like a blur. You woke up to Miguel gone, and an ache in your heart. Jess visits as much as she can, and Ben calls you a couple times, to see if you're okay. Peter B brings Mayday, and she clambers all over your bed, bringing some life into the room. Miguel doesn't visit per se - you hear whispers of him, Lyla visiting in his stead for comprehensive status updates. Once, you wake up in the night to see him on the adjacent chair, head lolling in deep sleep. He looks peaceful, calm - one of the first times you haven't seen his brow furrowed with worry. Of course, he's gone by the morning.Â
The very last time you saw him, he opened the portal home. It was weird, after everything, but if Miguel felt the same you wouldn't know. Talking at a thousand miles a minute, he alternates between assuring you they'll be fine without you and situation reports from spider people all across the multiverse. Things you'd missed whilst bedbound, asking for advice before you left. He trusted your judgement and the thought warmed your heart, almost making you forget that he completely brushed past the previous nights before.Â
You still remember the last thing he had said to you, which would've been weeks ago, now.Â
"...and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me directly. Not Jess, not Ben, and certainly not Peter B. Call me, and I'll answer, I promise. You need help, you need advice, you just need someone to talk to, then-"
"-I call you. I get it, O'Hara. Will do." He opens the portal, watching as you walk towards it. He can't take his eyes off of you, even though you can't see him. At the last moment you turn, and run towards him. You almost knock him over with a hug. Burying his head in the crook of your shoulder, he hugs you back, ever careful of your injury. Separating, your smile almost knocks him over again. Weakly, he smiles back as you head through the portal, back home.Â
You're left with that feeling, of his arms around your body - warm, so warm - as you putter about by the switchboard. After careful deliberation (you were really, really bored ) you'd taken to manage the Multi Modal Multiversal Switchboard - as aptly named by Miguel. Everyone else called it the Big Red Phone of course, but he had insisted on calling it by its proper name . Every. Time.Â
The thought makes you chuckle as you call up Peter B. His icon flashes on the screen in front of you. With a click, he picks up the call, his face materialising holographically in front you. A little hand reaches up and tugs at his ear.Â
"Ow⊠ouch ⊠Dad's on the phone, honey."
"Aww! How's my favourite Parker doing?"Â
"Not bad, actually! MJ just made us probably the best burger this side of New York-"
"-sorry, Peter? Me and May are trying to have a conversation." You hear her giggle in the background. Her gap toothed grin pops into frame and she babbles excitedly. "...yeah, exactly May. That's literally what I said."
"Okay, okay, that's enough." He puts the toddler down and watches her scurry away. "You're feeling better, I see."
"Yeah, back in action. Thought I'd check in."
"All good here." He squints, trying to take in your surroundings. "You're at HQ?"Â
You hum.
"Could've sworn Lyla cancelledâŠ"
"Yeah, didn't get the memo. But I think something's wrong with O'Hara."
He gives you a weird look. "Uhhh, what makes you think that?"Â
"He won't even look at me. Was it something I said? Something I did?" Your eyes narrow. "...what do you know, Peter?"
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He scoffs, a little too quickly, clutching his chest like you've offended him. He's stared down some of the scariest villains around, but the look you give him is truly chilling. "Just⊠uhhh. You didn't hear this from me."Â
"NaturallyâŠ"
"We tracked 'em down, the guys that ambushed you and Jessica."
"The Sinister Six? From Earth-215?"
"Yeah, but by the time we got there, it was just Kraven and some of his goons. Miguel got there first, andâŠ." He gulps. "He was pissed. Trashed the whole place looking for the rest of 'em. Beat Kraven half to death and we had to pull him off."
"Shit."
"Yeah, it was pretty rough. Never seen him like that before. And just generally? He'd been weirdly quiet, a little grumpy, more aggressive on missions. I don't know what's gotten into him."
"Hmmm. Thanks, Pete."
"No problem, sweetheart. And if the big guy asks⊠"
"...this didn't come from you, I know." Weakly, you smile. "Say hi to my favourite Parkers, for me."Â
" 'Course I will. We should celebrate, if you're back officially. Mine and MJ's is always open."
"Good to know. I'll see you around."
He waves goodbye, and the hologram clicks off. Sighing, you try to piece together what you've just heard.Â
Miguel: acting weird. Well, you knew that already. Aggressive was new. And Lyla? She had canceled, but not for you, for some reason. An honest mistake, perhaps. But Lyla doesn't make mistakesâŠÂ
You stew for a couple of hours, puttering about the switchboard, twiddling your thumbs. Something's wrong, and for some reason you're afraid to see him. To have him look straight through you, again, when you ask to do the same. Show me where it hurts. Tell me how to make it better. Â
On the way there, you chew your lip in anticipation. In the corridor, you're outside the door to his place, hand hovering above the door. To knock, to call. In the harsh fluorescent light, you hesitate.Â
"Lyla?" Nervously, you sink down onto the floor. It's hard to explain, but you don't expect her to actually come; to materialise in front of you.Â
"How can I assist you?" She says with a ding.Â
"Uhh⊠hi. Just wanted to talk." You pause, clicking your tongue. "Can you be honest with me?"Â
"I can only be honest with you. It is not in my programming to lie, unless specified by my owner."
"Sure. Cool. It's about him, actually. Is Miguel okay?"Â
She tilts her head, as if processing your request. "Okay is a subjective term. Is Mr O'Hara alive? Yes. Is Mr O'Hara physically well? Yes. By those terms, he is okay ."
Too vague for your own liking. "I guess I meant more⊠his emotional state. To the best of your knowledge⊠in your opinion , Lyla: is Miguel okay?"Â
"...I believe Mr O'Hara is experiencing some emotional turmoil."
You frown. "Oh. Do you know why?"Â
"Mr O'Hara has instructed me not to disclose that information with you."
"Fair enough. But you don't have to tell me⊠I could just ask questions?"Â
She nods. "There is nothing in my programming that prevents me from answering some questions within certain parameters."Â
"Did I do something? Not just today but⊠last time I was here. Did I say something to hurt or upset him? Is that why he's acting weird?"
"No." She says blankly. "And yes. I suppose it is⊠complicated." She gestures around that word.Â
"I'm a little confused, Lyla."
She sits next to you, on the cool tile. Not that she could feel it, but it feels more intimate - like two friends talking. The extent of Lyla's consciousness, you weren't sure of. Was she alive? To you, she might as well be. Could she think, feel, emote? Maybe, maybe not. You weren't smart enough to understand the nuances of her programming. But you were human enough to see it in her - something glittering beyond the surface.Â
It could be projection, but you swear her voice is softer. "He has a name for you. When he speaks about you, and to you. I have it logged in my memory database. Do you know what that is?" You shake your head.Â
Lyla opens up her palm and projects videos and images - little Miguel's popping up in her palm, tinny and gruff voices ringing through the hallway. They say your name, shout your name, whisper it. Some say other things in Spanish. Curse words had always been your assumption, and he had given you no reason to think otherwise. Now, having it played back to you, you hear a tenderness in his voice you would've missed. Words and phrases that come up again and againâŠ
"Bichita." She repeats. "Bichito del amor. Mi bichito amoroso. "
You shake your head, still confounded. "...I don't speak Spanish, Lyla."Â
"Little bug. Sweetheart. Lovebug. My little lovebug." She clears her throat. "I believe they are terms of endearment."
Steadfast, she directs you towards her palm. Another small Miguel appears, and you think it's him from this morning.Â
"I thought I told you not to let anyone in, Lyla?"Â
"I did not let her in. She let herself in using the code you previously gave her, Mr O'Hara."
"Yeah, for emergencies. Fuck. Mi bichita, too smart for her own good."
"...If you are in distress, I believe she would understand, Mr O'Hara."
"I just think it's too much. I don't want her to see me like this."Â
"According to Alchemax files, previous subjects showing this kind of aggression benefitted from-"
"Lyla, it's not happening, no chance. I can't tell her."
The figure blinks out of her palm. "Mr O'Hara has forbid me from telling you about certain things."
"...but not from showing me." Your eyes meet hers. You give her a watery smile. "Thank you."Â
With a hint of a smile, she nods and is gone from the corridor. You are left alone, with nothing but your thoughts of little lovebugs rattling around in your brain.
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#miguel o hara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#across the spiderverse#kat_writesđŒ#this gif is fucking crazy btw
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which deception would have an sti AND fuck cars?
in reference to: https://www.tumblr.com/penny-anna/767952128217104384/imagine-youre-a-mechanic-in-the-transformers?source=share

okay. so. first off. anon, thank you for sending me this because the idea that you read that post and just went- "hey, you know who i should pose this question to?" and sent it to me- is hysterical and i lvoe u.
anyway theres also a Texty answer under the cut if you want to read that, because i genuinely DO have thoughts about this, but i wanted to draw that comic because this ask made me laugh very hard when i saw it in my inbox.
also, the thrilling conclusion of the comic answer:
he fucked that car!!!!!!!
hi! Texty time. I think a lot of them would have/be one but not the other (either has a STI or is a Carfucker) but i included some of those here anyway because i think my thought process was funny for some of them. this is all purely my own opinions etc. etc. no basis for anything only vibes. i went through a lot of options and came to a lot of conclusions.
to reiterate the Chart for claritys sake:
Soundwave: No STI and no Carfucking. This is true across all versions of Soundwave imo. Rumble and Frenzy are a solid no on the STI front and a solid yes on the Carfucking.
Starscream: no STI, no Carfucking (despite what Soundwave thinks). TFP!Starscream specifically might have an STI though. Sorry man. Skywarp definitely has/had a STI but gets it treated on account of his trinemates. No Carfucking. Thundercracker would fuck a car but doesn't have an STI.
Shockwave: ??? - I'm not sure I want to know. "Once, as part of an experiment" was the original thing I wrote for his answer lol. True across continuities as well.
Anyway. moving on...
My actual answer for Megatron: REALLY depends on continuity. Here's a sample:
G1? Yeah, probably both. I can see it.
IDW/MTMTE? Nah. Maybe? ... Nah. I feel like if he had an STI it'd have been back when he was a miner. Would not fuck a car.
Earthspark? I feel like no STI but yes to the Carfucking. Except he feels really guilty about it after. I still haven't watched ES but this is the impression I get from him.
TFA? oh god. i don't know... i don't know....... he probably fucks cars. No STI.
TFP? Yeah absolutely are u kidding me? Yes to both.
Constructicons: I feel like they'd be a yes to both, but not at the same time, so they wouldn't have been the one/s to transmit a STI to a car. Also Hook would be ON TOP of treatment. Once they ALL got infected after combining into Devastator, and that was miserable for everyone. Nobody has fessed up to being the one who had it in the first place, but now they have treatment on hand just in case.
Also while on the topic of combiners... I think some of the Stunticons are also pretty good candidates for STI/Carfucking. Motormaster, Drag Strip and Wildrider in particular shfkgbekfbk
I considered Tarn/The DJD and Overlord just because of how freaky them guys can get, but I think Tarn runs too tight a ship for that to happen, and Overlord is preoccupied with. worse things. The Scavengers on the other hand... sorry to Misfire, I can see him giving a car a STI. Relatedly, Grimlock would fuck a car but not have an STI.
Who else................................ wait.
Astrotrain. I can see it. Okay bye im going to sleep this took me too long to reply to fhfjfbrmfbdj
#inbox#anon#velwy.txt#transformers#macaddam#good lord.#sighs.#i had other things i wanted to draw today but alas. this is my life now (no regrets)#also honorary mention to Knock Out because hes got the Vibes but i think he'd value his finish too much. if he hsd an STI he'd treat it-#-immediately and not pass it to anyone (or anything)#ADDITIONALLY. depending on continuity i can absolutely see some of the autobots getting an sti and fucking a car but listen that wasnt the-#-question and i already talked too much#sti saga
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newly creds | S.R.
in which the BAU team wants to see your newly issued credentials
who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader
category: fluff
content warnings: marriage. changing your name. slightly suggestive at the end but nothing explicit.
word count: 498
a/n: first and foremost, thank you so much for 100 followers AND for almost 3k likes i am so astounded by this im just so grateful. i absolutely wrote this while i was supposed to be doing privacy law homework. very proud of the title too. also today is my birthday so legally you have to like and reblog this!!! please enjoy <3
âSo, letâs see it,â Derek prodded as he leaned over your desk, obviously searching the surface of it for something.
You peered up at him, âCan I help you?â
Before he could properly answer you, Emily entered the bullpen. Her eyes found you and she hastily piled her things on her desk before joining Morgan next to yours. âDo you have it?â She asked, dark hair shining as she inspected your desk.
Obviously, you had missed some sort of memo about whatever âitâ is. âI have uh, half of a bagel?â You offered helplessly, gesturing to your unfinished breakfast that was waiting patiently for you on top of a napkin.
âY/N!â Penelope called your name from the glass doors she was rushing through, âDid I miss it? I want to see!â
Spencer rounded the corner of your desk, slowly placing a mug of fresh coffee on your desk, next to your abandoned bagel. âWhatâs going on?â He asked, carefully bringing his cup of coffee to his mouth to take a sip.
You shrugged, âThey all want to see something but wonât tell me what âitâ is.â You grumbled, holding out your left hand, âIs this it?â The whole team had seen your ring already, Emily, Penelope, and JJ had even helped Spencer pick it out. You wondered if maybe they all wanted to see the engagement ring with your wedding band.
âY/N,â another voice called, you resisted the urge to bury your face in your hands as you turned to face JJ. âDid you get the envelope that was on your desk? It got delivered to me by mistake, but I kept it safe while you two were honeymooning.â
Your lips parted, âOh!â Quickly, you realized what everyone was pestering you about. You and Spencer had just gotten back from your weeklong honeymoon. The both of you got to work first, just to find a package on your desk. Rolling your chair back slightly, you rolled your eyes, âYou know, you all couldâve just said something.â
You reached into your desk drawer and pulled out your credentials before unclipping your badge from your belt loop. Handing your creds to Derek and your badge to Garcia, who squealed in excitement, you couldnât help but smile at Spencer. âSSA Y/N Reid,â Derek said, sounding like a proud parent.
Spencer placed a hand on your shoulder, and you beamed, âI wasnât expecting them so quickly, I donât even have my new driverâs license yet.â
âDoes this mean youâre both going to answer to Reid now?â Emily asked, smiling at the prospect of confusion.
Shaking your head, you took your badge back, âNot unless itâs a prank. Hotch actually specifically asked us not to do that.â
âWelcome back,â Rossi said, walking into the bullpen and passing your desk. âI sure hope the two of you had the same kind of fun I did on my third honeymoon,â he teased, winking as he continued up to his office.
Spencer choked on his coffee.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#emily prentiss#penelope garcia#jennifer jareau#david rossi#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid fluff#written by margot
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Hi! do you have any svsss fic recs? I really like syonr and I'm curious about what you like to read!
*rubs hands together*
Alright alright. Now some of these are probably already well known, but still!!
I make no secret of this, but as Prim is my favorite author and very cool friend, I will HAPPILY recommend these first;
Masochism is probably THE qijiu fic of all time, absolutely adore it. It's set in their disciple era, with YQY just grabbing at whatever scraps he can even as SQQ tries to push the boundaries and see what will make him BREAK. So, so good. Happy ending!
Tarnished Gold is my favorite original Binghe fic, and I hope more people give it a chance. I think the summary scare some but it's GREAT! I love it! Binghe's thought process, the way someone perceives SY as GYX from an outside perspective, and omg LPM is such a great character in it...
of course I recommend basically everything Prim writes.
(Shen Yuan Voice) It's not gay if- by Nachtofthedead is porn. Just straight up modern time BingYuan porn. It is filthy and great and *thumbs up* love it. Bingge decides to play along with SY's delulu thoughts on gayness and everyone are happy.
The Many Trials and Tribulations of Ming Fan by The Feels Whale (miscellea) is great and I think often overlooked. A oneshot from MF's point of view on how to handle SQQ's wife beam, deeply funny to me. They also wrote-
Dust and Broken Grains , which is basically "Binghe discovers early that Crying Works" and it becomes a fix-it fic. but there's more to it than that!!! Love it a lot.
Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam is just. So good. SO GOOD. It's hilarious, it uses the System in a way few fics ever does and it has me cackling every time I read it.
What Is Seen by CaveteDracones is a fix-it with a side of whump fic, where SQQ's trial at HHP goes VERY differently. Truth serum! Torture! System Reveal! Yay!
Dual Cultivate or Date by acernor is THE BingLiuShen fic out there. Adore it. I'm sure many have already appreciated it, but it doesn't hurt to remind others that it exists!
A Child Once by Tossawary is a very, very good BingQiu and MoShang fic, and I honestly love not only BingQiu being forced to play parents, but also the MobeiBing friendship? Great, amazing. All the relationships in this is great, and I know most have heard of Tossawary but if you haven't given this specific fic a chance you SHOULD.
easy fix by airplanelanding (TheCourtSorcerer) is a smutty cumplane oneshot, where they are friends with benefits (approved by their husbands) for whenever said husbands are unavailable for Dual Cultivation Cure. This fic just really captures the snark and is also *chefs kiss*
with the tail of the snake by tciddaemina is a very, very good monsterfucker!SQQ fic where Binghe became a dragon in the abyss. I LOVE IT. It's a WIP, but *clenches fist* it's just so good. Soft and gooey and so HHHH yes good. I would probably put all their svsss fics in here but I am running out of time!!
.... but I have enough time to recommend my other favorite fic from them, which isn't even svsss! And is how I found them to begin with!
come all ye mighty is a Solo Leveling fic! It's Igris/Jinwoo, from Igris' pov, and I love the world building in it. As they say in the author's notes, it's a little bit of an au since it doesn't follow the original plot of the comic, but I reread this so, so often. 10/10, if you like solo leveling at all please give it a go I BEG OF YOU.
#svsss#ok i went more nuts than i expected#I have so many fics I could rec but these were the ones I thought of first#and now im out of time oopsie#svsss fic rec
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I just had a thought- how would Grim and the ramshackle ghosts feel about all the stuff happening to us?
Especially if the yandere(s) are coming over to our dorm too! Would they, depending on the severity of the yandere and their specific actions, range from supporting it cuz yknow reader gets to be happy with someone who treats them well and loves them to concerned because sweetie please get yourself outta there đ
I can imagine Grim is NOT alright with it and for a multitude of reasons, they are taking away your time with HIM, and once he pays more attention to the bigger picture? Yeah messed up things be occasionally happening that could very well hurt you!! He does not like that!!!
im just imagining Grim being visibly not alright and reader will not have it either when it comes to him, they are a PACKAGE deal and that is that no matter which yandere comes their way đŁïž
we have many people more alright with Grim being readerâs number one priority, or yknow silently(?) wishing it was them, poor Grim and Reader man encountering yandere after yandere đ
Grim would give us a look if we expressed any sort of romantic interest in any yandere I think lol
âPologies if it was too long or ranty, though I am curious who you think would be the most and least alright with this? I imagine Leona and Ace (legally required to bring up Ace heâs my all time fav next to Grim) would NOT like it lmao
.. first off, this is the longest ask ive ever gotten, I gotta just say oml thank you so much????? You, wrote all of this, fpr me?? đ„čđ„čđ„čđđđ this literally made my week thank you so much bestie đ„čđ second off, this inspired me to rant too, I hope you enjoy!- (not proofread btw)
So im mainly gonna focus on grim, no offence to ramshackle ghost fans, I just really like the silly little fire-cat/rat/weasel/creature. He was literally our first friend, our first companion (I bet Ace and grim bicker on who was your first).
And oh boy, guy is NOT HAPPY when he sees all these dumbasses vying for your attention and either trying to butter him up with tuna (which will not work on the mighty grim!) or ugnore him completely! Like you stated you and him are a package deal! Get the prefect and get their silly hungry companion!!


Now, grim surely uses his position as your closest companion as a safety net, they can't kill off the closest you have to family in this world! Guess they gotta live with him if they wanna have a life with you.
Ace hates that grim was your friend before him, feeling annoyed whenever he bullied (Juice) Deuce about being friends with you before him only for grim to butt in. Ace isn't too annoyed with grim though, and grim thinks that Ace is one of the better choises of the roster you have, they're both friends after all.

Of course most students in the cast don't liek "sharing" you with grim, especially the more territorial ones. Leona is probably the worst, I mean come on they're both feline looking creatures. With scent being a heavy thing for felines (yes even beastmen dont come at me) Leona is not happy to have his scent on you be muddied by the little rodent (the greatest mage of all, grim). Probably the worst choise since they're just gonna bicker to the end of the world..

Floyd doesn't like this either! Not fair that he has to share!! And with grim no less.. Floyd results in biting you instead of scenting, his chompers being good for nibbling on you. He also has the advantage that grim is sorta afraid of him (honestly who wouldn't be? Especially yan Floyd...).

Kalim tries to brime grim, with anything he could ever think off! Unlimited tuna for grim, and the best there is as well!! Nything grim could ever want on a silver platter, only if grim let's kalim marry you! That alone doesn't sound too bad, but that unsettling horrifying servant that follows Kalim around. He knows what jamil can do, and he sure does NOT want you with that dude!- guy is manipulative and creepy (he would definelty seperate you and grim!-)

Malleus... Malleus scares grim, guys is honestly horrifying. Threatening to curse him into an eternal slumber so he can whisk you away from him, he doesn't want that! You would also get sad id malleus did that, so luckily the possessive dragon had to share (for now...)

Whoever you choose, grim would probably disapprove, guy thinks of you as family (he will never admit that tho). He cares about you, and he is not okay with the invasion of privacy from these teenagers! >:(
I know you didn't ask fpr any drawing or such, but I couldn't help myself sorry đ€ hope you like my ramblings back at you!
#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twst art#yandere twisted wonderland art#yandere ace#yandere ace trappola#yandere leona#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere floyd#yandere floyd leech#yandere kalim#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil#yandere jamil viper#yandere malleus#yandere malleus draconia#grim being a silly guy#i love grim sm best dude in twst fr
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đ
seungcheol x fanbase!reader. (2)
the one where seungcheol gets all most of his svt news from your no-nonsense fanbase. previous chapter. headcanons under the cut. †see also: svt burner accounts series
SVT đŁđ„đ„ đą 13 members active.
S.COUPS đ Dinner on me tonight 8PM. Don't be late
uji Ï(>âż<.) ?? Not complaining, but to what do we owe the pleasure
đž eisa đž Can we get meat pleaseee
Jeonghan! cheollie is happy today hohoho~ his little crush wants one chance with him~ âĄ
KMG đ„ oh??? đ is this the fansite
S.COUPS đ Fanbase Not fansite There's a difference ><
Jeonghan! of course there is hehe~
S.COUPS đ Do you guys want dinner or not?
soonyoung .à° ââżâ à° ON MY WAY
sound_of_coups âą 17m â« Ben&Ben - Lifetime
sound_of_coups i'd spend a lifetime waiting đšïž Liked by pledis_boos, vernonline, and 1,932,049 others View all 2,109 comments
jeonghaniyoo_n :-) sound_of_coups :--) ashtruther Stay warm, Cheollie!!!~ benandbenmusic đČ Thank you for listening to us! scoups4lyf those cheeks đ€ raaah yourusername â€ïž
This Could Be It (English Translation) Genius English Translations âą Track 3 on S.COUPS - CHERRY ON TOP
Please tread lightly Step inside the garden of my mind Please speak kindly Tragedy and I are intertwined But I can paint the sky with colors Of my misery (hmm) If you come closer, you can read it In my history (hmm)
Please go slowly Gentle is the water in my veins But I would be careful not to Bother creatures lurking just the same âCause once I feel the tide as it rises My boat capsizes
And every minute passing Could bĐ” time that I am spending Talking to you on the phonĐ” Itâs been too long since I have been alone And I am hoping That this could grow into something But who am I to know how you define a home? Oh I donât know you yet But this could be it
Please be warned, oh Iâm a bit straightforward when I sing And I have the tendency to Get obsessed with every little thing âCause once I have a grain of thought That Iâve planted It blooms in my head
And every minute passing Could be time that I am spending Talking to you on the phone Itâs been too long since I have been alone And I am hoping That this could grow into something But who am I to know how you define a home? Oh I donât know you yet But this could be it
âCause once I feel the tide I drown, I fight the current Pulling me down I overflow and I try to hide it
Now am I too much for you Way too damn much for you? No such thing as too much So you better take it or leave it But this could be it This could be it Oh this could be it
Who produced "This Could Be It" by S.COUPS? â Genius Metadata
"This Could Be It" by S.COUPS was produced by WOOZI (ì°ì§) & VERNON (ëČë
Œ).
Who wrote "This Could Be It" by S.COUPS? â Genius Metadata
"This Could Be It" by S.COUPS was written by S.COUPS.
S.COUPS "CHERRY ON TOP" Lyrics & Meaning | Genius Verified
đ€ a lot of fans were surprised with track three, or 'this could be it'. can we talk about that for a bit?
đ i'm sure not a lot of people were anticipating an almost indie, pop-folk number on my first EP, but i live to defy expectations. [laughs] there's not much to say about the song except that it's about that very specific instance where you kind of... fall in love with a stranger? that's in the line 'but who am i to know how you define a home', for example.
đ€ you're the sole writer of the track. was it a personal experience?
đ you're trying to get me in trouble! [giggle] okay, seriously. don't we all have moments like that? where we daydream over something or someone that we want. honestly, my favorite part of the track is the outro. [sings] am i too much for you, way too damn much for you? no such thing as too much, so you better take it or leave it. but this could be it. [speaks normally] you're never 'too much' for the right person. there's just... you. it's a song about wanting to know, wanting more with someone, who you know can be 'it' for you. the word is on the tip of my tongueâ
đ€ 'yearning'?
đ that's it. it's about yearning for someone and what the two of you could be, given the chance.
âș scroll through all my work àŽŠà”àŽŠàŽż ËÍÌêłËÍÌ )â§ á¶» đ đ° .á my masterlist | @xinganhao | note: this could be it is from the lovely opm singer, reese lansangan. :)
#seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#seungcheol imagines#scoups imagines#seungcheol smau#scoups smau#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#ââ á”ᔠ⊠mine#ââ á”ᔠ⊠series: svt burner#[ pt 2 as per popular request. <3 ]#[ i'm honestly surprised at the reception for this verse!!! but ty for liking it everyone :D ]#ââ á”ᔠ⊠queued!
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Part One Twelve
âThereâs been a lot of attention around this album, a lot of Corroded Coffin fans arenât happy. How would you respond to the fans that are calling you a sell out?â
Jesus fucking Christ, Eddie thinks to himself. And these are the questions after Chrissy vetted them. Well, at least that means Chrissy thinks he can handle it. He wishes to fucking god heâd had chance to look them over before this shit show of an interview though. Eddie used to be good at this. He used to be confident.
He straightens in his chair, âwell, considering all profits from the record sales are going to a very good cause,â Eddie starts slowly, growing more sure of where heâs going, â...I think those fans arenât the kind of fans I want, anyway.â
âA lot of the backlash is centered around some of the artists youâve chosen to work with, what would you say to the fans claiming youâve gone âmainstreamâ?â
Eddie clears his throat, sipping from his water bottle, âI think Corroded Coffin have fifteen platinum selling records, and almost all of them are platinum eight or more times over. We are mainstream.â
Behind the lights, Eddie can see Chrissy. He watches her cover her mouth, hiding a laugh.
âWould you say the inspiration for this record comes solely from your own struggles with addiction?â
Eddieâs half an inch from pitching a fit. But, still, if Chrissy thinks this is okay then...he takes a breath. Itâs for the album, he tells himself. Publicity means sales.
Sales will help people.
âSome of the things I experienced, sure. The addiction. The rehab. The people who were there for me,â Eddie shrugs, trying to be nonchalant about this.
âWhen it comes to people who helped you, youâre talking specifically about Boy Scout, right? Probably the most intimate track on the album?â
Eddie grits his teeth a little, âright.â
âWould you tell us who itâs about? Thereâs been plenty of speculation.â Behind the reporter, Chrissy looks fucking pissed. Some dude with a clip board and an ear piece is actually having to get in her way. It makes Eddie feel a little better.
âNo.â
âSo your relationship with this person-â Yup. Chrissy did not okay this and she is angry.
âAsk me about the album or weâre done.â
Thereâs a beat, the reporter interviewer woman looks like sheâs just swallowed something sour, but she does move on.
âItâs fine- itâs...itâs fine.â Eddie feels like his insides have been scooped out. He really just doesnât have the energy. He really fucking wants a drink. It takes a beat, but, no, no he doesnât want a drink at all, not really. Not once he lets himself take a step back from it.
To calm down.
To think.
To shuffle all the other Eddieâs back off the stage and into the audience where they belong.
He thinks about what he really wants, and heâs pretty sure Eddie of two years ago would be disgusted with him; he wants to eat a bowl of chocolate ice cream in a hot bath and then go to bed.
âStill, sorry, she was absolutely not supposed to go off the list like that.â
âWhat was on the list was pretty tough,â Eddie cracks an eye, looking across at Chrissy, his head rocking against the leather of the seat with the motion of the car.
She smiles cheekily, âknew you could handle it though.â
âUh hu,â Eddie lets his eyes close.
âI spoke to him. To Steve.â
Eddie nearly snaps a string with how badly he fumbles his guitar. Heâs not prepared really, for the emotions that well up. Still going strong, apparently. Still pining away, even after...itâs been a long time. âWhat, err, what did he say?â Eddie doesnât even bother to try and hide what heâs feeling. There was a time when he would have played it cool, or tried too, at least. Not now. âHeâs not mad is he? About the song?â
âNo, Eds, heâs not mad. He said he really likes it. Itâs got a good beat for jogging, or something.â
Eddie rolls his eyes, canât help it. Obviously Steve uses his music to exercise. Fucking disgusting, is what that is, âgross.â But then Eddie feels a little giddy; Steve likes the song Eddie wrote for him.
âHe saw the interview Eddie, thatâs why he was calling. Kind of.â
âRight..?â
âHe said I can give you his number, if you want it?â
âHe didn't...you didnât just give him mine?â
âI offered, he said it had to be this way around. He said it needs to be up to you.â
âRight,â Eddie starts fiddling with his guitar again, just quiet, soft, âso that sounds like heâs not going to say no right? I mean he wouldnât do that, just to say no-â
âEddie.â
âNo. Right. Youâre right. Yeah.â
Eddie had spent an hour pacing around thinking about it. Not that he wasnât sure or anything, just that he couldnât quite...bring himself to press the call button. Like, what if Steve was on board and Eddie just, immediately somehow fucked it up? Or what if Steve didnât answer? Eddie was definitely not prepared to leave an embarrassing voicemail. It was just...it felt big. It felt like one of the most important things heâd ever done.
So Eddie sent a text that said, âcoffee?â and then shoved his phone under a cushion and sulked about it for twenty minutes.
And then he went and got his phone because, you know, Steve might have answered.
He had answered.
It said, âyes if this is Eddie?â
Because Eddie hadnât, actually, included any identifying information with his text message. Which. Smart. But Steve said âYes if this is Eddie,â so unless thereâs a completely different Eddie in the picture, it felt kind of hopeful.
And Eddie must have done okay. Because now heâs here. Steve. Standing in Eddieâs kitchen, making himself right at home, using Eddieâs coffee machine, telling Eddie how good he looks.
And Eddie guesses, he has kind of upped his game when it comes to basic personal hygiene, and he has gained ten pounds, and he got the worst tattoo covered up. His clothes are actually neat and clean and heâs even had his hair cut a couple of times so, yeah.
Yeah. He probably does look better, in comparison to before.
âYou look exactly the same.â
Steve smiles, handing Eddie his coffee, âthis place looks good. Different.â
âYeah, I,â Eddie looks around. Redecorating has been done for a while now, so Eddieâs used to how the place looks now, âI didnât like it, how it was before. Wanted to make it kind of...cozier."
And the kitchen had been all harsh modern lines, before, and it is a little more homely now. Still stylish, Eddieâs not a monster. But yeah, not so harsh. The lounge no longer looks like it should be hosting Hugh Hefnerâs entourage and the coffee table is no longer glass.
âChanged the bedroom a lot,â and he has. Heâs even given into his Alpha a little, and his new, still huge, bed, is wedged into the corner of the room, perfect for nesting. Which is a thing Eddie does now, sometimes.
âGood, donât think I could have dicked you down in that b movie horror set anyway.â
Eddie nearly chokes on his coffee because. Yeah. Lot to unpack there. Steveâs got that smile on his face, the one where he knows heâs scored a hit but definitely isnât being smug about it. Eddieâs not going to rise to it, he isnât. Heâs going to completely ignore the implication that Steve would be...fucking Eddie. Because he isnât. Eddieâs the Alpha here. Heâs better than that now, so he ignores that part, âit wasnât that bad. If you like red and black.â
âUh hu.â
Steve slips his sneakers and socks off to stand on Eddieâs lawn. Which. Feels backward to Eddie but, he watches anyway. Tinkling along on his guitar, a little Dolly, for old times sake. Watches as Steve turns his face to the sun and takes a real big breath. He lets it out slowly, before coming back and sitting next to Eddie.
âSo...how have you been?â It feels suddenly stilted to Eddie, like the time is a yawning chasm that might continue to keep them apart.
âYeah. Quit working for the center. Probably over a year ago now.â
âOh,â Eddie doesnât really know what to do with that, but heâs concerned suddenly that itâs because of him, somehow, âthought you liked it there? Thought you, you know, helping people?â
âYeah...yeah I did but...it kind of felt like it was time for a change. And...it didnât feel right to me, any more, after you, heart wasnât in it.â
âI- sorry,â Eddie says it anyway, even though heâs pretty sure he had no control over that whole thing.
âWorked out, Iâve been teaching yoga classes and doing some hours as a personal trainer, Iâve been doing some distance learning, itâs...itâs been really good for me, I think. Iâve got another course I want to do, then I just need toâŠfigure some stuff out. I want to open my own yoga studio.â
And Eddie can absolutely see that for him, âthatâs great Steve.â
âYeah, just wish insurance companies and landlords would get the hint you know? Yikes-â
âI could pay-â
âNo. No thank you. Donât do that, Eddie.â
Steveâs looking right at him, and Eddie gets it, âright. No. Of course.â
Thereâs a moment of silence that could be in danger of becoming awkward, âso what have you been up to? Tell me about the tour?â
And then it isnât.
They lie on the grass together for a while, the sun bright and almost too warm, really. Eddie knows he wonât last long out here, but because Steve is so clearly enjoying it, he holds on.
Heâs like a big cat, stretched out in the sun, his shirt has ridden up enough so show off his flat tummy and Eddieâs pretty sure Steveâs eyes are shut so he stares at Steveâs treasure trail for a little bit.
Steveâs hot, so sue him.
Eddie can feel himself starting to sweat a little; his hair is probably going to do that gross thing where it goes sticky around the edges and frizzy in the middle.
He thinks about Steve washing his hair; Eddie tries not to hope itâll happen again soon, and fails dismally.
Itâs hard not to think about Steve back then; when Eddie was still being a fucking nightmare at every turn. The memories are precious, worn smooth because Eddie takes them out and looks at them every single day.
Not so much the last one though, well, maybe the kissing part.
âWhy didnât you say something? Before?â
Steve hums to show heâs listening.
âWhen I fucked up...you knew I was going to fuck up, but if youâd...said something. Explained why you said no...I might- I mean itâs not your fault that I did what I did...butâŠâ
Steve sits up, resting back on his arms, hands flat on the grass. He sighs, opens his mouth to speak and then shuts it again. Thinking. âOkay...if Iâd have told you what I thought would happen, that youâd relapse, what would you have said?â
What would Eddie have said? He probably would have just told Steve he was wrong, denied it all. But would that have changed anything? Maybe it would have? Eddie has no idea, not really. Maybe he would have stayed sober, just to prove Steve wrong, but even Eddie can admit just how highly fucking unlikely that is.
The silence is long enough that Steve speaks again, âIâll take a guess, you would have said something like, âpfffft. Iâm not going to get fucked up because you said no to me. Jesus Christ youâre not all that. Youâre such a cunt, fuck off out of my houseâ.â
âYeah,â Eddie sighs, rubbing his head. He canât even really bring himself to look at Steve right now, âyeah, that...sounds like me. Sorry.â
Steve laughs, and Eddie doesnât move, but he finds comfort when Steve's hand slides overtop of his on the grass, âand then...if you did go and get fucked up,â Steve says carefully, âit would have been my fault.â
âI mean...it wouldnât have actually been your fault, like, at all.â
âBut would you have blamed me?â
âProbably,â Eddie rolls his eyes, shakes his head, âitâs fucking annoying how good you are at this.â
They move to the couch as the sun starts to set and the air turns chilly. Eddie pours them both a drink; fruity bubbly stuff that Eddie uses as his go to every time he would have been reaching for a beer.
Steve sips it and calls it good.
They end up sitting scrunched up together at one end of the couch, thighs pressed together, Eddie leaning enough into Steveâs space that Steve ends up putting an arm around him.
Presses a kiss to the top of Eddieâs head.
Eddie feels it when Steve lingers, takes a deep breath, scenting Eddieâs hair. He pulls Eddie in tighter. Eddie lets his eyes slide shut and just...soaks it in. Steveâs strength. Steveâs...here. Heâs actually here, right now, and theyâre snuggling on Eddieâs couch and. It hits Eddie all at once that he never thought heâd have this. Never thought, not really, that Steve would ever come back.
He dreamed about it, sure. All the time, especially in his weaker moments.
Eddie nuzzles against Steveâs chest, thereâs the scent of laundry detergent, and then the subtle scent of Steve, lingering underneath. Fresh and clean, outdoor warmth.
âI donât want to fuck this up.â
He feels Steve shrug, âthen do your best not to.â
Eddie snorts, twisting further on the couch, pulling his legs up onto the cushions so he can really press into Steve. Steve turns easily, pulling up a leg, holding Eddie with both arms now, committing to the snuggle.
âSo there is something that I could fuck up, is what weâre agreeing on?â
Steveâs playing with Eddieâs hair, just the ends, light and careful, âif you want there to be. Iâd like that.â
Eddie nods, âso what is it?â
âPartners?â Steve suggests, vaguely.
âUrgh. No. Sounds like weâre solving a crime.â
Steveâs chest moves sharply under Eddie, a surprised laugh that makes no noise.
âBoyfriends?â
Eddie hides his grin, makes his voice sound put upon, âweâre not twelve.â
âCompanions?â
âWeâre also not ninety.â
âUhm. Paramour?â
âDoesnât that one mean that, like, one of us is married and is cheating, or something? I am not the other woman, Steve. Donât demean me like that.â
Thereâs a minute, Eddie can almost hear Steve thinking, âother half?â
Itâs corny. Kind of kitschy. But...it makes Eddie blush and hide his face a little. If you take that one literally, theyâre two halves of a whole...thing. Steve and Eddie...yeah. He likes that. Likes the idea that theyâre so joined that no matter which way you slice it, you get a little bit of Steve and a little bit of Eddie.
âYeah. You can be my other half, I guess.â
âThe better half, obviously.â
Eddie doesnât even fight him on it.
âYou could...you can stay. With me.â
Steve smiles over, slipping his coat on, âyou propositioning me?â
âA little?â
Steve laughs, the stupid, caught off guard one that makes Eddie smile too, ânot tonight, okay? Thereâs no rush, right?â
Eddie kind of wants to protest, a little, but Steveâs right. Thereâs no rush, not really. Just the simple fact that Eddie hasnât had sex with another person in literal years at this point, and since itâs Steve, heâd really, really fucking like to put an end to that dry spell.
Repeatedly.
On every flat surface of the house.
âWhat, you want to get to know each other better first or something? Because my name is Edward Munson, I like virgin pina coladas, getting caught in the rain, and my favorite color is the shitty brown green color youâre trying to pass off as hazel-
âI know, Iâve heard the song.â
âGod youâre such a prick.â
But Steveâs right, and Steveâs backing Eddie up against the hall wall and, thereâs not that much difference in their height but Eddie still feels like heâs looking up at Steve. Heâs distracted for a second by the feel of Steve tangling their fingers together, and then Steveâs kissing him.
Part Fourteen
#steddie#pre steddie#rock star eddie munson#drug abuse#alcohlism#eddie munson#stranger things#steve harrington#ficlet#chrissy cunningham#eddie and chrissy#alpha eddie munson#beta steve harrington
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Please, please, I'll do whatever you want, just more yautja
Male Elder Yautja OC (Ge'jaar) x male reader
Ficlet
I still donât really know a whole lot of the yautja lore, but I love them anyways. So, heres me cooking up an oc and hoping itâs somewhat canon because I love yautja and will take any excuse to write about them. Readers somewhat based off of an oc of mine. Reader is also around 6ft 5 inches. Ge'jaar is 9ft or so.
Bako really grew on me for some reason when I wrote this, so lemme know if you guys wanna read about him.
You were old. Very old. You hadnât kept much track of just how old you were, it didnât really matter, but you only appeared to be in the 50s or very good 60s. You knew you were a lot older than that, having spent at least 100 years away from earth, hunting. You had returned though, at some point, and settled down in a very defensible cabin far away from much of everything, where you could live in peace with your âdogsâ.
Well, you called them dogs, mainly because they walked on all fours and had a tail theyâd wag, and followed orders. An ex of yours had called them Kiande amedha, you just called them xenomorphs, or your beetle dogs. Years ago, back when you had successfully killed the bad bloods that kidnapped you and your military unit, you had found this little ugly hissing creature. There was a stereotype that humans would bond with most near anything, and they were right.
You brought the little bugger along on the ship you stole from the now dead bad bloods, which took a long time to figure out how to steer. You named your pet Lucky, and you would later learn she was female. Strangely enough, she seemed to follow you as if you were the queen and not her, so it was all fine. Even if she and her first offspring did kill your ex when he tried to hit and control you. One of her offspring lost a leg in that fight, so obviously his name would be tripod.
Luckily for you, sweet little Lucky didnât breed like other of her kind. Over the years shed only had about 50 offspring, whom she seemed to raise in the same way you remembered earth dogs would do it, sometimes making you wonder if she was some kind of crossbreed. Having 50 kiande amedha though, made you very dangerous in the eyes of your exâs species, especially when they learned you controlled them.
Joining the hunt hadnât been something you had outright planned to do. Or getting juiced up with whatever weird drugs and inventions the clans you were friendly with cooked up. That was why you grew so much taller, and aged so slowly.
Ge'jaar wasnât part of one of the clans you fought alongside. You two actually met, when a group of young bloods tried to hunt your beetle dogs. Apparently, they thought you would be an easy target, being an ooman and all. Of course, you made sure to show them you werenât. they successfully killed one of your pets, a spunky one named Hoover because he ate everything. And like any hunter worth their salt, you needed revenge.
It led to some political struggles and conversations between clan elders, since you were pretty much a part of that one specific clan now after so many hunts together.
Ge'jaar wasnât the leader of his clan, but still counted as an elder. He was handsome, in his own, scaley way. His skin was white and covered in the same dark splotching as all yautja seemed to carry. He wore a lot of the same clothing as most yautja did, and would later on wear a cape you made from the hide of a beast you had hunted.
In the end, Ge'jaar went as far as to apologize and repay you for the dead âhunting houndâ. Bako, one of the males from your apparent clan, would later tell you it was because Ge'jaar wanted to fuck you. You were still very salty about Hoover though, so you acted quite nasty and confrontational with Ge'jaar and his clan for a good chunk of years.
The cape Ge'jaar would start to wear, hadnât even been a gift in your mind. For some reason the elder yautja had followed along for one of your solo hunts, in Bakos words âgoing on a dateâ with you. And yes, Ge'jaar was very impressive to watch fight, he was very big and broad, alright? The creatures purple blood sprayed all over his white skin also didnât help.
You couldnât even remember what you had said to him, but it must have been some threat or curse as you threw the creatures skin at him, since you only wanted the meat and bones. It made no sense to you at the time why Ge'jaar started wearing the fur, and you hadnât wanted to ask Bako since the guy had just started cackling at you when he saw it.
It was only years later when you had settled back down on earth, that it really seemed to register to you that Ge'jaar was trying to charm you, in his own yautja way. Still feeling so angry about Hoovers death, even if Ge'jaar himself didnât do it, you took all the hunting and dead creatures by your ship and hut as a threat or challenge. All the jewelry and armor as harder to explain, and you still had the book about yautja mythology somewhere on your shelf.
At that point, you had just assumed Ge'jaar moved on, since you hadnât seen him in so long. The only yautja you truly spoke much too nowadays was Bako and those from his clan. And of course, the ones that still owed you favors, just to remind them you were still alive to cash in on it.
You had just returned from one of your trips to the nearest large city, a trip that took you almost two weeks since everything was far away, when you saw him again. Or rather, one of your beetle dogs saw him, a young one named Blue, since his dome of a head reflected blue more than the rest.
Blue had been born, laid? On earth, and had seen very little true combat, so you assumed that was why he was the friendliest of them all. Where most of Luckyâs offspring that had known space and combat stuck to the shadows and settled in the cave system near your cabin, Blue was a real lapdog.
Friendly enough it seemed, to just accept an intruder in your home. Stepping out of your truck, Blue trotted out of your cabin door, which was wide open, looking as happy as a clam with dried meat in his maw. There was a feeling in the air that you werenât alone, so grabbing at your beloved weapon of choice, you were about to fall back into old habits.
That was until Ge'jaar of all people, stepped out of your cabin, wearing one of your shirts. Well, trying to wear one of your shirts. It was one of the largest shirts you owned, old and worn with some odd shape on the front that might have been a logo once.
The elder yautja looked very comfortable, right at home honestly, his dreadlocks pulled into a bun on the back of his large head, and a damn sleeve of cookies in his massive hand. The confusion must have been so clear on your face, as the retired hunter chittered and laughed, moving closer to help you lug stuff back into your cabin and into your massive basement.
The confusion was strong enough that you just kinda went along with it, moving everything from your large truck and away from sight until you needed it. It was only after you both sat down on the couch that you took notice of the minor changes to your home, it looked very much like Ge'jaar had just moved himself in.
You could have smacked him right then and there, maybe cut all his dreadlocks off and made him swallow his mandibles, but somehow the massive scarred yautja made himself look so innocent and borderline lovable.
Blue, the little fucker, just got comfortable on a large fur Ge'jaar had laid out across the floor, tail whipping all over and knocking trinkets off your coffee table. The little traitor, you knew you spoiled him too much.
It took a lot of explanation from Ge'jaar, and you had a feeling if you hadnât lived amongst his people for so long you might have lost it, but apparently Ge'jaar had made some plea to his clan leader, and yours since apparently you still counted as one of those, and you two were pretty much married without your approval.
Well, or so you would say, but all your guyâs âdatesâ and all the âgiftsâ you passed between you counted as courting. You settling down back on earth just appeared to be retirement in their eyes. It wasnât like you still hated Ge'jaar, you never really had thinking back, it just⊠came as quite a surprise.
Ge'jaar still kept on courting you, even when you fed most of the things he caught to Lucky and her offspring. The elder yautja took your claim that Lucky was your child to heart, clicking and purring when she, and by extent her offspring, finally accepted his presence.
Time was a true blur out in the mountains, you only really noticed it by the seasons passing and you needing to go back into town two or three times a year to stock back up. But soon enough Ge'jaar was part of your life, and yes, you still snipped and bit at him sometimes, but this time it was meant as flirting.
Your mate, since thatâs what you guys were now, was so patient and seemed to find your human nature endearing enough to pick up on some of it himself. It still felt very weird to be given flowers by a seasoned hunter like Ge'jaar, or to walk in on him watching Gilmore girls with Blue draped across his lap, but you got used to it.
It was probably best that you and Ge'jaar were the ones to get together, since he was older, had already had all the offspring he wanted. The yautja was also confident enough in himself that he didnât get jealous the same way your ex had. Ge'jaar was hot and he knew this even in his fluffy robe and slippers, though you couldnât help but miss him in his netting and weapons at times.
It turned out to be a lot more comfortable than you had thought to retire, with your mate who had to be hundreds of years older than you, and your many, many beetle dogs. There were times you debated on going out for a hunt again, as a date, for old times sake, but that was something you would need to discuss with Ge'jaar first.
#male reader#yautja#alien vs predator#predator#yautja oc#alien boyfriend#elder yautja#monster lover#yautja x male readr#yautja x reader#yautja imagine#yautja headcanon#alien vs predator x male reader#alien vs predator x reader#alien vs predator imagine#alien vs predator headcanon#predator x male reader#predator x reader#predator imagine#predator headcanon#elder yautja x male reader#elder yautja x reader#elder yautja imagine#elder yautja headcanon#i still know very little about yautja and yautja culture#but i love them anyways#how do we feel about comfortable retired yautja everyone?
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wc: 1.2k
[18+ only]
content: mentions of oral sex [f receiving], unprotected sex and cockwarming [very brief]
[just a little something i wrote. pretty much all smut with little to no plot.]
With the side of her face pressed down into the mattress and hips snapping against her ass - all that flooded her ears were his deep grunts, the sound of skin clashing and her lewd moans. He had woken her up in the middle of the night, but she didnât mind. She had given him permission to wake her up whenever he needed it. More specifically, she had even given him permission to wake her up by kissing her right between her plush thighs. It was one of her favorite things - waking up to her boyfriend eating her out. She didnât understand how he could be so good at it. All her previous boyfriends had complained when she asked for it. They would say it made their jaw hurt. That they didnât like the thought of putting their tongue down there, but they never did complain when she would put her tongue on them.
Harry was unlike any other man she had met. He doted on her. He took care of her. He provided for her. If it were up to him, (Y/N) would never have to lift a finger, but he knew that his girl also liked being self-sufficient. He both admired and loathed how independent she could be sometimes. He loved how strong she was, but sometimes it scared him. He couldnât help but wonder every now and then what would happen if (Y/N) realized she didnât need him anymore - didnât want to be his anymore. Harry was sure that his heart would never be mended if that happened.
(Y/N) was his everything. He never had a love like her before, and he had no intention of having another love ever. He was going to marry her. That was a cold hard fact.
âHarry,â she whimpered as she brought one of her hands back and behind her.
He knew what she wanted, and he gave it to her. Placing his large hand in hers, he intertwined their fingers - flexing his to give hers a soft squeeze.
âFeeling good, baby?â Harryâs chin rested against his chest as he looked down at where his thick cock entered his girlfriend.
(Y/N) just hummed in response, but that wasnât enough for Harry. Propping one foot up on the mattress, he brought his freehand down and swatted at one of her ass cheeks. âYou know thatâs not going to cut it.â
Stopping his thrusts, he pulled out which caused (Y/N) to gasp, and she looked over her shoulder at him with wide eyes. She was flipped onto her back faster than she could blink.
Harryâs hands came down to her thighs, and he pushed them apart before plunging back inside of her with one fluid roll of his hips.
âOh my god,â (Y/N) moaned with her eyes screwed shut. âYouâre so fucking deep, H.â
Smirking to himself, Harry leaned down and scraped his teeth against his beautiful girlfriendâs jawline. âDo you like that, (Y/N)? Feeling me so deep in there?â
âYes, yes,â she panted as he started pounding into her once more. âI love it when youâre this deep. I feel you all the wayâŠall the way in here.â
Placing a hand over her lower stomach, (Y/N) pressed down - eliciting a groan from Harry and another mewl of pleasure from her with just how good that felt.Â
(Y/N) was never properly fucked before, and Harry caught onto that by the first time they slept together. She made him work for it, something he didnât mind doing by any means, but when the time actually came, he was seething at her past lovers at what he had seen. Sexy and confident (Y/N) had retreated into a shell of herself the moment he had her laid out on his mattress. She had asked him to turn almost all the lights off, and the ones that were left on had been turned down. She had asked that he not remove her bra, and that he just pull her panties to the side. It pained him to realize that she didnât want him to see her fully naked.
That changed before Harry entered her that night. He took his time to kiss over every inch of her skin. To compliment every piece of her that he could see. He let her know that she was by far the prettiest thing he had ever seen in the world. The most beautiful woman to ever be in his bed. He made it clear that no one before her ever compared, and that no one ever would.
By the time he took her home the next morning, (Y/N) had allowed Harry to take her in four different positions, resulting in six orgasms total. It was obvious to both of them that theyâd never get enough of each other just after that one night.Â
âSqueezinâ my cock so tight. Youâre gonna have me coming sooner than I want to,â Harry huffed out a laugh at himself, and it caused (Y/N) to also giggle. âBut, fuck, honey, you just feel too damn good. Such a snug little thing.â
His words had (Y/N)âs cunt pulsing around him even more, and he could tell she was right on the edge of her orgasm.Â
Sucking on the pad of his thumb, Harry brought it down to start rubbing precise circles against his girlfriendâs clit, and that had her arching her back off the bed.
âHoly shit,â she gasped - toes curling and fists clenching against the pale pink sheets surrounding them. âIâm about to cum.â
Harry watched as (Y/N) threw her head back which resulted in her pretty neck being completely exposed to him. He could feel her walls beginning to clamp down around him, and with one more deep thrust, her orgasm gushed around his length.
âGood girl,â he crooned, leaning down to kiss over (Y/N)âs collarbone. âSuch a good girl fâme.â
Once she felt like the air had properly returned to her lungs, (Y/N) blinked her eyes open to stare at the gorgeous man above her.
âFill me up, please,â she pouted her lips at him as she tapped her fingertips against the spot on her stomach that she had pressed down on earlier. âRight in here.â
âYeah?â Harry smirked as he gripped onto her hips and angled them up just a little more. âWant it tucked up in there?â
âMhmm,â (Y/N) hummed with a nod of her head. âI like it when itâs up there that far. It takes longer to drip out of me, and I like feeling it for as long as I can.â
(Y/N) could be dirty when she wanted to be, but he had never heard her say something like that to him before. Choking out a moan, Harry felt the warmth in his lower abdomen boil over, and before he could process it, he was shooting his load inside her slick pussy.
Biting down on her bottom lip, (Y/N) reeled from the feeling of Harry pumping his cum into her. He didnât stop until he felt like he couldnât hold himself up with his shaky arms anymore. He collapsed against her chest, and she wrapped her arms around him as they both continued to come down from their highs.
âI love when you wake me up in the middle of the night like that,â (Y/N) played with Harryâs curls as she spoke. âCan we fall back asleep like this?â
âSure, baby,â Harry puckered a kiss to the top of one of her breasts. âAnd then when we wake up in a few hours, Iâll continue fucking that same load into you before giving you another."
#harry styles fanfiction#harrystylesff#harry styles fic#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harrystylesfanfiction#harrystylesfanfic#harry styles smut#harrystylessmut#harry styles writing#harrystyleswriting#harry styles au#harry x y/n#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry x reader#smutty blurb#harry styles blurb#harry styles smutty blurb#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#hs fanfic#hsff
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leon kennedy x gn reader
àčàŁ ââword count: 654 àčàŁ ââ SFW, 2nd person, hurt/comfort, no specific leon, pure fluff, tw : mention of vomiting
àčàŁ ââ summary: leon takes care of you while youâre sick (˶ᔠᔠá”˶)
àčàŁ ââ a/n: very short little oneshot - i wrote this bc im sick rn à«ź(˶â„ïžżâ„)á . not proof read .
âââ ââ
ââ
â ââ
âYou look like hell.â Leon said as he approached you in the dark bedroom, the curtains drawn close to prevent any light from leaking in and irritating the pounding in your skull any further.Â
âI feel like hell.â you mumbled in response, curling up underneath the piles of blankets you had thrown onto the bed earlier. Your voice was hoarse and scratchy from your sore throat.Â
Leon sat down on the edge of the bed, looking at you with a soft expression. He gently reached out his hand and placed it against your cheek. âYouâre burning up, baby.â Leon said quietly. He stayed sitting there, observing you quietly with a concerned expression, gently playing with your hair. It was soothing, you leaned into Leonâs touch. âIâll call off work tomorrow, I wanna stay here and take care of you.â Leon stated.Â
âNo, donât call off just for me, Iâll be fine.â you replied.Â
âIâm not asking if I should, Iâm telling you that I am going to.âÂ
You didnât say anything in response. Deep down, you wanted him to stay with you, you just felt guilty making him use up his own sick days just so he could care for you.Â
But you knew how stubborn Leon could be, especially about something like this. He was always worried about you, always wanting to take care of you before he ever took care of himself. He was stubborn, but selfless. He already felt guilty leaving you today when you were sick, he wanted to make up for it.Â
âJust⊠keep resting here. Iâll take care of you.â Leon promised you, his voice soft and quiet, before leaving the room.Â
Your eyes fluttered open not much later. You werenât even trying to fall asleep, you just kept falling asleep throughout the day. Your body needed the rest.Â
You heard some shuffling in the dark room and noticed Leon holding a tray as he approached you. âI just made you some soup.â Leon said quietly.Â
He placed down the tray on your bedside table as he turned on the lamp. âIs that too bright for you?â he asked, not wanting to agitate your headache any further.Â
You shook your head as Leon gently handed you the bowl of soup he made you. âItâll make you feel better, I promise.âÂ
You looked down at the bowl of soup, not entirely sure if you could stomach it. Plus, your appetite had totally been killed, especially after throwing up this morning.Â
âYou need to eat something, love. Just a few bites, okay?â Leon added.Â
You hesitantly took a few spoon fulls of the soup. It tasted great, you were grateful that Leon was an expert at cooking. You glanced over at Leon, noticing that he was smiling a bit seeing you eat. He liked taking care of you like this.Â
Once you brought your attention back to eating, Leon gave you a quick kiss on the forehead. He was still touchy, despite you being sick. He wasnât really worried; he had a strong immune system after years of fighting bioweapons.Â
âIâm going to make a quick trip to the store, Iâll get you some medicine, just try to eat as much as you can, okay?â Leon told you, his voice softer than anything youâve ever heard before. Now that you were sick, he was treating you like you were the most fragile flower that he needed to take care of.Â
Leon returned, not much later, with a bag of groceries. He bought you some medicine that would remedy most of your symptoms - headaches, sore throat, nausea...Â
Leon rested in bed next to you, holding you close to his chest, yet still gentle, as if he were scared, he was going to break you if he hugged you any tighter. âIâll take care of you, baby. Just keep resting, I love you...â Leon whispered to you, keeping you protected in his arms.
#resident evil#fanfiction#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon scott kennedy#{ÂŹÂșàœÂ°}ÂŹ z writes ÖŽ àŁȘđ€.á#fluff
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episode one: the hellfire club
Robin waves her hands in the air as if to get Steveâs voice away from her. âEw! Gross, donât say boobiesââ âBoobies! Itâs not a big dealââ You make a face. âIt isnât the most pleasant word.â âOh, câmon. You like boobies, Robin likes boobies, and we all know I love your boobies specificallyâow!â You hit the back of Steveâs head with annoyance to get him to stop talking about your boobs. While he winces in pain and rubs his tender head, you turn towards Robin. âWhat my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that everyone likes boobs, and Vickie definitely likes them too.âÂ
Summary: el writes to you as if youre her husband away at war, you debate the intricate nature of liking boobies with robin and steve, lucas is your beloved while eddie munson is your sworn enemy, steve accidentally exposes your (horribly hidden) daddy issues, dustin is an angsty teen, and jonathan really loves to drop emotional bombshells on you. can you believe this all happens in one day ? lol cheers to senior year !
Rating: general, some swearing
Warnings: swearing, fem!reader, use of y/n, mentions of abuse, allusions to bullying, trauma lol
Words: 13.5k (wrote half of this in one day)
Before you swing in: SHES HERE !!!! SEASON 4 !!! this season terrifies me. i spent so much time outlining and making sure it was perfect. i have some changes i want to do, some ideas, and its scary because we dont have season 5 yet and i hate messing with canon ,,, alas: here she is. my baby. my beloved. quick fun fact: theres a scene in here ive had planned since season 1 so .... enjoy !
â
March 21st, 1986.
Dear Y/N,
Congratulations on New York University! Joyce tells me that it is a very good college, and everyone was extremely happy when Jonathan told us the news. He even had a smile on his face! It has been a very long time since I have seen him smile, especially without that weird smell on him (am I allowed to tell you about the strange plants that Jonathan seems to like now? He says that you cannot find out about it, but friends donât lie and he is your bestest friend).Â
I asked Will about it, and he says that Jonathan now smells because he misses you. If you ask me, I think that Jonathan smells because he is scared. We are still waiting for his college letter, afterall. I know you want to go to school with him, but so does Nancy. Is it possible to go to two colleges? Anyways, it must be a lot of pressure, even more with all the waiting we have to do, but Joyce told us that sometimes colleges take a long time to respond.Â
While I am positive that Jonathan will figure it all out soon, he pretends he does not care. But he is a very bad liar. He was very upset that Nancy could no longer visit us in California. Will was bummed too, but he was more sad that it was not you who was visiting. Joyce says that the Byers boys were born to miss you, and I think she is right.Â
I also miss you. I am still bummed I never went to school with you. I bet Mike is over the moon to have you with him for high school, Dustin and Lucas also. How is Max? Is she still sad? I know school has been hard for her. I will admit that it is hard for me, too. While I am good at maths, and my grammar is getting better, I am still unsure when to use conjunctions or why Angela does not like me. Will tells me to ignore her, but I want to be her friend. She is nice to everyone else. It confuses me that she is not nice to me.
A lot about California confuses me. The flowers here are different, and sometimes I forget that I cannot go and visit you. I miss the smell of Bookstrordinary (did I spell it right?) and your cookies. Please send more as soon as you can. Will and I are almost dying to taste them again! Mike says he will try to bring some on the plane, but I am scared he will be told no by those scary airplane people.
Speaking of Mike, he is coming to California this week! I am very excited to see him. It has felt like years, I think I am even going crazy. I have planned everything for his week here. Spring break will be extra special! It will be a fun distraction from Angela and school. This week I can pretend to be someone else, someone cool, and Mike will be very impressed. I know you tell me to always be myself, so I hope that I can make you happy by taking your advice on focusing only on the good.Â
To prove I will focus on the good from here on out, here is a good things list:Â
Mike is visiting!
Will has almost finished his painting. I am very curious to see what he has made. He is really talented, he shows me the drawings he sends you sometimes.Â
You got into NYU! Is this the correct way to abbreviate? I am still working on conjunctions, but I think I am supposed to use the first letter of every word in the schoolâs name to shorten it. At least, that is what Joyce says.Â
Jonathanâs new best friend, Argyle, will give us free pizza to celebrate Mikeâs arrival. It is really good pizza.Â
Tasting your cookies again. Fingers crossed Mikeâs plan succeeds!
I am sure there is more, but I am too excited about this week and my mind is going very fast. I miss you tons, maybe even more than Will and Jonathan do. Please come visit us soon. Like Joyce says, the Byers boys were born to miss you. Although I am not a Byers boy, I am still a part of the Byers family, and I miss you.Â
Love, El.
P.S., thank you for the grammar books. I will be sure to become the best writer ever in California.Â
â
Sweet, gentle, El. You can almost hear her voice, reading aloud to you as you used to do when she lived in Hopperâs cabin. She would stumble over the letters, ask you how to sound out particularly difficult words in Spider-Man comics; they helped her learn how to read. Now, almost a year later, sheâs writing you letters.Â
El has grown up so much within such a short few months, although it doesnât surprise you.
Laughing softly as you reread the final line sheâs written, you wipe your eyes and place Elâs letter onto your desk. The piece of paper joins the others, nestled gently with a pile of her other letters that are housed on your desk. El sends you a new letter every week, detailing silly stories about Jonathan and Will or concerned ramblings about Angela.
The letters make you miss El terribly. They make you miss everyone terribly.Â
Next to the letters are drawings from Will. Heâs become such an artist during his time in California. He sends you beautiful sketches of landscapes in their neighborhood, doodles from class, and incredibly detailed drawings of you and the party. The drawings are Willâs special way to keep in contact with you, and itâs something you cherish so deeply. However, you didnât know that he was working on a painting, and youâre curious to see what El is talking about. Eventually heâll reveal his art to you, he always does. Â
Skimming a finger over one of the more recent drawings from Will, your hand catches on the walkman that lays next to it. Jonathanâs messy handwriting is scrawled on the mixtape that sits within it.
For bug.
The words, familiar and loved, stare back at you. The mixtape contains songs that Jonathan so carefully chose for you. He spent countless hours selecting songs that he knew youâd love, songs that reminded him of you. It had been his gift for you before he moved away. And now heâs gone, and you miss him so much more than you ever thought you would. More than you ever thought you could miss anyone. Â
Jonathan never did end up coming to Hawkins for spring break.Â
âDusty, whatâs going on in there?â The sound of your mother pounding on Dustinâs door breaks you from your thoughts. âYouâre gonna be late.â
âDonât come in, Iâm naked!â You hear the boy screech back at her, which you roll your eyes at. Steve will be here to pick you guys up any minute. Dustin knows he should be ready by now, the schedule has never changed.Â
Throwing on the cardigan Steve got you for Christmas last year, you grab your walkman and storm over to Dustinâs room. At the same time, your mother nearly crashes into you in the hall. Her face is pale, horrified of the idea that she almost saw her son naked, and you pity the woman. Dustin has become relentless lately, even more difficult to deal with.Â
âY/N, my dear,â your mother clutches at her chest and fans her face. âCan you please make sure your brother is ready? I think that boy is trying to give me a heart attack.â
You sigh, figuring you would have to do so anyways. âYeah, sure. Go finish getting ready, Iâll handle him.â
âThis is why youâre my favorite daughter!â Your mother kisses your cheek before running off towards the kitchen to make her morning coffee.Â
Once sheâs gone, you immediately start banging on Dustinâs door. He knows you hate being late. Plus, itâs the Friday before spring break. Youâre getting antsy waiting for this week to end. âDustin Henderson, you have three seconds before I kick this door down.â
âNot now, Y/N!â Dustin shouts back, frantic and desperate.Â
You narrow your eyes. Heâs using his suspicious voice, the one he only uses when heâs doing something he absolutely shouldnât be doing. Glancing down at your watch and noting the early hour, you curse in disbelief. âItâs not even seven yet, what the hell are you up to so early in the morning?â
âNothing! Just go away, Iâll be out soonââ
âI swear, if youâre trying to sell my limited edition comics again I will hurt you.â You throw your body against the door, causing it to fly open as you stumble inside. Dustin is at his computer and he nearly falls off his chair in his haste to cover the screen from you. Heâs remarkably horrible at playing cool. Youâre about to tell him this when Suzieâs voice crackles through his radioâs speakers.Â
âYikes, Dusty.â
âSuzie?â You walk over to your brother and shove his hands off the computer screen. He falls to the ground with a loud thud, which pleases you. He may be a teenager now, but youâre still stronger than him. At least for now. âWhy are you calling her right nowââ Your eyes land on the screen and you recognize Hawkins Highâs familiar orange and green school colors. âIs this the student gradebook?â
âNo!â Dustin exclaims, but Suzieâs small and soft voice responds, âYes.â
âOh my God,â you cannot believe heâs making his girlfriend hack into your schoolâs database. Sure, sheâs a genius, but you also know sheâs incredibly religious. âDustin, this is so illegal and goes against, like, all of Suzieâs religious moralsââ
âI will repent later.â Suzie interrupts you, and you raise your eyebrows at what sheâs just said. Before you can question her, Dustinâs computer refreshes.Â
He leans forward, eyes scanning to see if theyâve succeeded, and he seems to like what he sees. Suddenly Dustin lets out a sudden whoop and fist bumps the air. âGod, I love you Suzie.â
Curious, you lean over and read the screen as well. There, where you know Dustin had a D- in Latin not even a day ago, is now an A. Thereâs no possible way he was able to raise his grade in under twenty-four hours. He sucks at Latin, he hates it, which means⊠She did it. Suzie changed his grade. All she had to do was press one single button to save Dustinâs GPA.Â
You have to admit, itâs impressive. And shamefully genius.Â
âHey, Suzie.â You bring the radio to your lips, shoving Dustin away when he tries to take it from you. âDo you think you could change my grade in calculus? Jonathan was the only reason I passed any of my other math classes.â
âOh, I donât knowâŠâ Suzieâs voice raises a pitch, she doesnât want to tell you no. She likes you, she really does, but her God figurine stares down at her with a disappointed look in his eyes. Sheâs sinned for love, but she doesnât think she could ever do it again.Â
Youâre about to plead with Suzie, tell her NYU really prioritizes their studentâs grades, but the sound of a car honking outside catches your attention; itâs Steve. Dustin yanks the radio from your hand and shoos you away. âGo, leave without me.â
âWhat, why? We always drive together.â You frown, feeling like a little kid when you cross your arms. Dustin smiles apologetically, a smile youâve become familiar with. Your mood darkens, anger rises to your cheeks. You know exactly why Dustin is now skipping out on you. âDonât tell me itâs that stupid Eddie Munsonââ
âHe wants me and Mike to work out some campaign details before lunch today!â Dustin scrambles to mediate. He hates that you donât like Eddie, and you like everyone. Itâs unnerving how much disdain you seem to carry for his friend. âNance is driving us, but I swear Iâll ride with you and Steve after break!â
You scoff at Dustin, not at all believing his promise to you. Ever since September your brother has been at Eddie Musonâs beck-and-call, who dictates everything Dustin says or does. At first it was innocent enough, choosing to sit with the guy instead of you at lunch. Skipping out on a few weekend plans with you and Steve to campaign with Eddie. Youâd been happy for Dustin. He was making new friends, no longer your little shadow; he was his own person with his own priorities and interests now.
But ever since getting into NYU last week, Dustin has been pulling away even more from you. You donât know why, but heâs become even more obsessed with Eddie and his stupid Hellfire club.Â
Eddie Munson is the air your brother now breathes, stifling the air Dustin once breathed for you.
And it seems to only be suffocating you, not him.
âYeah, whatever.â Halfheartedly you ruffle Dustinâs hair, and he leans into the touch. You donât want him to know his repeated absences are upsetting you. Deep down, you know youâre being irrational. Youâre almost eighteen, soon you wonât even be living under the same roof as Dustin. Heâs allowed to live his own life. âI guess Iâll see you at the pep rally. Tell Suzie I said bye, please?â
Dustin nods, though you donât linger in the doorway like you desperately want to. Instead, you shut the door behind you and place a swift kiss to your motherâs cheek as you leave.Â
Steveâs car is parked in its usual spot at the end of the driveway. The teenâs arm hangs out the window and his face breaks into a smile when he sees you approaching. Steveâs smile is infectious, itâs always charmed you, and it settles the ache in your chest from your brotherâs earlier dismissal. Feeling a smile spread across your own face, you run towards Steve and poke your head through the open window.
âHi,â you breathe out, nose almost bumping against his cheek.
âHi, angel.â Steve kisses you, solidifying your morning tradition. Neither one of you really remembers who started it, but sometime during the school year you began to slip your head through Steveâs car window so that he could kiss you slow and sweet.Â
And, as tradition follows, Robin starts boos. âDo you have to do that every morning?â
Steve makes a face at her and she punches his arm. He yelps in pain and you roll your eyes at the two of them before running over to the passengerâs side where Robin sits. Her window is rolled down as well and you duck your head inside. âAw, Robin. If you wanted a kiss, you couldâve just said so!âÂ
âA kissâ?â Your lips press against Robinâs cheek, smushing against her face while making a dramatic sound. She squeals and pushes you away, wiping her now wet cheek in disgust. âThat is not what I wanted.â
You giggle at her and finally get into the car. Itâs getting late, you see the assortment of Robinâs limited makeup dumped into her lap haphazardly. Sheâs been stressing about this morningâs pep rally all week, and clearly she isnât coping very well. Trying to cheer her up, you flick her shoulder. âIâll have you know that my cheek kisses are cherished in Hawkins.â
âHow many peopleâs cheeks are you kissing?â Steve turns in his seat to face you, slightly alarmed. Then, noticing that thereâs only one Henderson in his car, he frowns. âAnd whereâs little Henderson?â
âEddie Munson.â
âWoah, wait, you mean Eddie as in where Dustin is, right? Not, like, youâve been kissing his cheek? Iâm right, right? Please tell me Iâm right.â
You roll your eyes fondly at Steve while Robin rolls hers in displeasure. âJust drive, Steve.â
â
It becomes pretty apparent five minutes into the car ride that no one seems to be having a good morning. Robin has spent the majority of the drive applying and reapplying her mascara while messing with her hair. She groans every time she looks in the mirror and her eyes lack their usual brilliance.Â
Meanwhile, Steve has been complaining about yet another fight with his dad. Apparently they argued during breakfast, something that has become a common occurrence in the Harrington household.Â
âThe asshole again reminded me that Iâm turning twenty soon. As if I donât already know that! I mean,â Steve laughs in exasperation. âFor weeks now heâs been asking me what my plans are, as if working at Family Video just isnât good enough for him. As if my dad isnât the sole reason I had to get a lousy minimum wage job in the first place!âÂ
âFamily Video isnât a lousy jobââ
âYes it is.â Both Steve and Robin say at the same time, which you sigh at. Canât really argue with that.Â
âOkay, yeah. Itâs pretty lousy.â
Steve rubs his eyes tiredly. âAnd that isnât even the worst part. There I was, pouring syrup over my pancakes, trying to enjoy the fact that my parents are actually home for once, when my asshole of a father tells me that if I donât have a respectable job by the time Iâm twenty, heâll kick me out. I mean, can you believe that?âÂ
You suck in a breath. âSteveâŠâ
Richard Harrington is a cruel, awful man.Â
While you understand his frustrations towards Steve, itâs completely unreasonable to expect him to get a reputable job in a few short months without any college education. Steveâs right, it had been Richardâs idea to make him work at Scoops Ahoy in the first place. When the mall burned down, he had no other option but to work at Family Video soon after.Â
âIâm sorry, honey.â You intertwine your fingers through Steveâs hair and rub your thumb up and down the nape of his neck in a soothing manner. Steve allows the touch, but heâs still tense. Guessing that heâs uncomfortable feeling so pitied, you try to make light of the situation with humor. âBut hey, who knows? Maybe you can come live with me in New York if he ends up kicking you out.â
Steve risks a look at you, taking his eyes off the road for a few moments, and his eyes shine. Heâs ecstatic over what youâve just said. He looks like a little kid on Christmas Eve. âYou really mean that?â
âWell, I meanâŠâ It had mostly been a joke, a throwaway comment to try and get him to smile. But Steveâs body finally relaxes under your touch and you canât tell him no. âYeah, I guess I did.â
âYou hear that, Robin?â Steve preens, wanting to get her attention. However, when he realizes that she hasnât been listening to the entire conversation, he makes an offended sound. âRobin, are you listening to me?â
âUh, yes?â Her eyes meet yours in the mirror, startled that sheâs been caught. âYou were-uh. Talking to Y/N about your dad. We-we hate him! Yeah, we hate the guy. He really⊠grinds my gears?â
Steve groans. âWe all hate my dad, but that wasnât what I was talking to you about!â
âCut me some slack, please. Your relationship with your father is one of labyrinthine complexityââ
You poke your head between the two teens. âActually, itâs not that complicated.â
Robin covers your mouth with her hand and continues with her rant. âItâs seven in the morning, we have the stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a total corpse!âÂ
âI think you look lovely as always, Robin.â You mumble through the girlâs hand, barely coherent.
Steve, however, isnât as supportive. âYouâre worried about a pep rally? You really expect me to believe that?â
âYeah, so?â Robin removes her hand from your mouth and goes back to doing her makeup. Sheâs avoiding the conversation now, which only means that Steve is onto something. Why has she been so obsessed about this weekâs pep rally? Robin has been in band for years now, sheâs done a million pep rallies during her high school career. It canât be performing that makes her nervous.Â
Which means it has to be about someone.Â
Locking eyes with Steve, he seems to be thinking what you are. âI think we all know what this is about, okay? Y/N and I arenât buying that bullshit.â
âThis is about Vickie.â You finish for him, a smirk on your face. For weeks now Vickie has been all Robin has talked about. Her hair, how pretty her smile is, how cute her freckles are. Vickie also happens to be in band with Robin. âCâmon, you canât tell us weâre wrong.â
âI absolutely can tell you youâre wrong.â Robin denies what you and Steve are implying.
Steve shakes his head. âYou know weâre right! And you know what else we think?â
âI really donât careââ
âY/N and I think that you gotta stop pretending to be someone else when youâre around her, okay? You just gotta be yourself.â
Robin doesnât want to hear any of this. At least not from you and Steve. âYou guys are biased, you do realize that?â
âWhat do you mean?â Youâre practically laying across Steveâs car console in order to be a part of the conversation. âI think weâre objective people.â
âYouâre telling me that all I have to do is be myself and Vickie will want to date me?â
You frown. âYeah? Whatâs wrong with that?â
Robin throws her head back. âBecause it took Steve months to ask you out. Mind you, this was when you were already in love with the guy! And he knew you were in love with him!â
âOkay, heyââ Steve doesnât at all like what sheâs insinuating. He didnât necessarily know you were already in love with him, he just⊠had a small hunch.Â
âIâm not done,â Robin holds her hand up. âAll Steve had to do was man up and admit his feelings for you. He didnât have to agonize over whether or not itâd blow up in his face. There was no risk, no danger, no world ending consequences. I mean, if you had rejected him then maybe Steveâs ego wouldâve been bruised. But if I ask out the wrong girl? Bam! Iâm a town pariah.â
âThis is true,â you reluctantly agree. While you could never envision a world where youâd ever say no to Steve, you also recognize that the world where you somehow do wouldnât be the same world as Robinâs. Things are different for her, whether you like it or not. Robin has to live with this knowledge, and her conversation with you about luck and love from last summer echoes in your mind.Â
Steve places a hand on his chest, betrayed. âWhose side are you on, Y/N?â
âTrue loveâs side.â
Robin snorts and Steve doesnât bother to hide his smile. He wants to tease you for being a hopeless romantic, but now isnât the time. Instead, he continues the previous conversation. âTrue love aside, we canât ignore that Vickie is definitely not the wrong girl.â
âOh, she definitely isnât straight.â You agree.
âWe donât know that!â Robin quickly sprays some breath freshener in her mouth and gags, which you cringe at. Vickie is one lucky girl if Robin ever manages to become her girlfriend.Â
Steve doesnât let up, heâs convinced he has it all figured out. âShe returned Fast Times paused at fifty-three minutes, five seconds.â
âThe bikini scene, mind you.â You butt in, and Steve nods eagerly.
âAnd you know who pauses Fast Times at fifty-three minutes, five seconds? People who like boobies, Robin!âÂ
Robin waves her hands in the air as if to get Steveâs voice away from her. âEw! Gross, donât say boobiesââ
âBoobies! Itâs not a big dealââ
You make a face. âIt isnât the most pleasant word.â
âOh, câmon. You like boobies, Robin likes boobies, and we all know I love your boobies specificallyâow!âÂ
You hit the back of Steveâs head with annoyance to get him to stop talking about your boobs. While he winces in pain and rubs his tender head, you turn towards Robin. âWhat my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that everyone likes boobs, and Vickie definitely likes them too.âÂ
Robin canât even look at the two of you, appalled by how many times the word âboobiesâ has been uttered during the duration of the conversation. You canât blame her, the word has practically lost all meaning for you as well.
Steve, however, canât seem to get enough of it. âItâs boobies!â He exclaims again to no one in particular.
You and Robin lock eyes, and then, without saying anything, your hand covers Steveâs mouth while Robin flicks his forehead, effectively putting the boob conversation to an end.Â
âÂ
The moment Steveâs BMW slows in front of the school, Robin throws the door open and rushes out with a quick âsee you later!â to you as she runs to follow after her bandmates. Steve waves weakly as she goes and sighs in disappointment.
âSheâs never talking to Vickie, is she?â
âNot a chance,â you sigh as well, watching as Robinâs figure disappears in the crowd of students. Spring break looms over the student body, everyone buzzes with excitement over their week of freedom and tonightâs basketball game. The pep rally in just a few short minutes only adds to the exhilaration. Leaning forward, your lips graze against Steveâs. âAnyways, see you tonight?â
He bridges the gap between your lips, skin meets skin and warmth floods your stomach. âOf course, angel. I love you.â
âI love you, too, honey.â And with one last kiss, you exit Steveâs car and make your way towards the school. As always, Steve waits until youâre safely on the sidewalk before he pulls away and heads towards Family Video. Heâs started picking up morning shifts to fill the time he isnât with you.
On your way inside, you see Ms. Kelly talking to Max near the buses. The conversation is short, doesnât last much longer than a few seconds, and when Max turns away you notice Ms. Kellyâs patient smile drop. Clearly Max still isnât being cooperative when it comes to their sessions. She promised you she would start trying, but Max Mayfield has always been stubborn and youâve always been slightly overbearing.
Not the best combination, honestly.
With a sigh, you make a mental note to ask Max about what the counselor talked to her about later. Thereâs too much going on this morning to focus on it, and youâre already pushing Max by having her attend the pep rally anyways. Originally she had wanted to skip it and hide in the stairwell, but after begging her about it, Max finally agreed.
The conversation can wait. For now, at least sheâll be next to you in the bleachers alongside the boys to cheer on Lucas.
The thought was enough to brighten your mood a little, but it quickly became a pain in the ass to corral the party into sitting together. It took you almost fifteen minutes to find Mike and Dustin in the mass of students heading into the gym. Youâre not necessarily sure how it took so goddamn long given the fact that Mike towers over half of the students anyways. Heâs grown freakishly tall since starting freshman year. It unnerves you.Â
While his towering height annoys you, Mike likes that he can finally, literally, look down on you.Â
âThere you guys are!â You grab the back of Mikeâs shirt and he lets out a startled yelp. Dustin stumbles back as well, and an annoyed sophomore glares at the three of you. Ignoring her, you grab your brotherâs shirt and start dragging the two boys towards the bleachers. âThought we agreed on meeting at the water fountain that squirts water in your face?â
âI thought it was the library?â Dustin gives you an odd look. âWait, is there even a water fountain in the library?â
âYou amaze me.â You remark, not even bothering to answer his question. He listens like a bag of rocks. Mike just allows you to pull him, not at all contributing to the conversation.
Max waits for you in the bleachers. Sheâs saved you seats, something that you feel slight relief over. The simple gesture is small, but it sparks just enough hope within your chest to make you exhale softly. Hope that sheâs getting better. Hope that sheâs finally trying again.
Thanking Max, you and the others fill the seats as the gym quickly fills with more and more students until it threatens to overflow. The roar of the crowd is nearly deafening. Across from the bleachers resides the marching band. Theyâre playing the schoolâs anthem as the cheerleaders start their routine. Chrissy Cunningham leads them, her smile lovely and beautiful, she shines so brightly upon the crowd that you canât help but fall in love with her.
In the midst of the cheerleadersâ twists and flips, Robin manages to catch your eye from across the room.
You eagerly wave at her and mime playing the trumpet, copying her movements as she actually plays one. Robin laughs, and next to her is a girl with fiery red hair who laughs as well. Sheâs pretty, youâve heard countless sonnets about her red hair and dotted freckles. Knowing the girl is Vickie, you point at her as you wink at Robin, who scoffs and goes back to playing the trumpet.Â
Next to you, you catch the tail end of some bizarre conversation between Mike and Dustin.
âLook, Iâm not saying that my girlfriend is better than yours.â Dustin is clarifying, glaring at you when he hears your sarcastic snort. âItâs just that Suzieâs, like, a certified genius.â
Mike crosses his arms, looking towards you as if somehow this is all your fault. âYour brother realizes that El saved the world twice, right?â
âAdmittedly that is hard to beat,â you shrug. âThat, and she has cool powers.â
Dustin points a finger at the two of you. âAnd yet Mike still has a C in Spanish while youâre barely passing calculus.â
Mike rolls his eyes and you shrug again. Your brother isnât necessarily wrong either. Elâs saved the world, Suzie has saved his GPA. Both are nearly impossible feats. âTouchy subject, but touchĂ©.â
âAnd what can your boyfriend do, Y/N?â Mike asks, now bringing the attention to your love life.
âHeâs good with a bat.â
Both Dustin and Mike groan, but you shush them when the schoolâs broadcaster announces the Tigers basketball team. Applause breaks out across the bleachers and you notice Max looking around for Lucas. Though she tries to hide it, you can see the interest and excitement in her eyes. Sheâs happy for him, but it breaks your heart that she feels that she canât show it.
Jason Carver, captain of the basketball team and former Scoops Ahoy patron before Steve spilled ice cream all over his pants, runs out first. The crowd goes wild, but you donât start cheering until you see Lucas. Heâs smiling wide, proud to be a part of the team. You scream as loud as you can for him, heâs come so far since confessing to you about wanting to join the team earlier this year. As Jason starts his speech, dramatic as he always is, Lucas sees you in the bleachers and waves shyly, a blush creeping across his face. Then, seeing Max next to you, his confidence seems to grow as he waves more enthusiastically at her.Â
The moment is sweet, it makes you smile.Â
Except Max doesnât wave back. She crosses her arms, pretends she hasnât seen him, and your smile drops alongside Lucasâ.Â
You know theyâve been having some trouble recently. With Max pulling away more and more each day, Lucas struggled to hold onto the fading girl. Despite his pleas and reassurances, Max still seems to be icing him out. According to Dustin, they broke up almost a month ago now.Â
But theyâve always had a tumultuous relationship, long before nightmares and monsters darkened everything. The news hadnât worried you at first, you thought it was simply another one of their weekly breakups over something small, innocent. Afterall, they were just kids when they first started dating. Their breakups were always childish, though endearing, and always temporary.Â
Now, youâre scared that this time itâs permanent.Â
Youâre not sure what that means for Max. She already has so few people left in her life to tether her. Billy died, her mother works two jobs and is never home anymore, El is in California, and you and Lucas are breaking skin trying to claw onto whatever small hold you have left of the girl.
Another loud cheer from the crowd breaks you from your thoughts. Jason mustâve just said something important, something worthy enough of a roaring reaction. Heâs always been popular in Hawkins, Steve used to complain about him to you back when he was still on the team. But when Steve graduated and Billy died, Hawkins High had needed a new King to crown.
Jason Carver was more than happy to ascend the throne.Â
âChrissy, I love you, babe.â Everyone awes and you see Chrissy blow Jason a kiss. Itâs sweet, you suppose. They fit together nicely, head cheerleader with the star of the basketball team, and they seem genuinely happy. Chrissyâs shy and kind demeanor balances Jasonâs loud and charismatic boldness. They truly are a good match.Â
âI think I can speak for all of us when I say itâs been a tough year for Hawkins.â Jason continues his speech, the room is eerily silent as everyone listens with baited breath. âSo much lossâŠâ The gym almost exhales simultaneously, remembering all the people who died last summer.
Your own breath exhales, and beside you Max tenses. Billyâs ghost floats through your minds, in through hers and out through yours. Hopperâs own ghost follows after him, only he doesnât haunt Max the way he haunts you. He lingers over you, his final words to you engraved into your skin.Â
Youâre the best of them.
âAnd sometimes I wonder, how much loss can one community take?â
Enough to fill a mall of burning bodies, you think bitterly.Â
Jason paces the gymâs floor now, he almost seems to glow before the crowd. He rambles on about needing something to believe in. That everyone should be doing something to honor all the lives lost in July, that playing basketball can absolve all the despair. As if it can bring them back.
Deep below your ribcage, nestled right underneath your scar and just in front of your stomach, rests a pit of anger that always simmers. You were born with it, it has always followed you. It has grown with you, the anger almost possessed your body when your dad left. Now, hearing Jason recite all the names of the ones who died that Fourth of July, the angerâs low simmer heats into a soft boil.Â
You try to quell it. Jason means well, heâs only trying to uplift the community in a passionate, albeit uncomfortably pastor-y way. Heâs only doing what he knows best; heâs being a leader. In another life, one where Demogorgons never harmed you, you think you wouldâve really admired Jason and his resilience.Â
âThink of Billy,â Your breath stills, yet your hand instinctively finds Maxâs. She turns away from you, but the room is spinning and you canât remember how to inhale. But Jason keeps going. âThink about our heroic police chief, Jim Hopper.â
Next to you, in your haze of grief and panic, you think you can feel Mike and Dustin shift uncomfortably. Grief sinks her claws into the kids, and you want nothing more than to puncture Jasonâs lungs with them.Â
This was supposed to be a pep rally for the Tigers, it was supposed to be joyous, an opportunity to bring Max out of her shell. To distract her from the hell that she calls her life. The entire school knows what happened to Billy, they know that he had a little sister named Max Mayfield.
You hate Jason Carver.
But youâre here for Lucas. Today is about him. Heâs finally happy, heâs smiling again. The least you can do is swallow down the anger and grief and hope that you donât end up choking on them later. That they donât strangle you in your dreams.
âAnd now tonight, weâre gonna bring home the championship trophy!â Jason screams into the mic, erupting a volcanic roar from the stadium. People throw paper into the air, whistling and jumping up and down at the prospect of Hawkins High finally winning a championship.
âTonight?â Dustinâs agonized exclamation causes you to jump. He looks at you, bewildered and panicked. âHow is that possible?â
Your heart still hasnât steadied from the surge of fury Jason evoked. Swallowing once again, you clear your throat and shake your head at your brother. âWhat, you guys didnât know about the game tonight?â
âThey call it a tournament,â Max explains for you, figuring you need some time to clear your head. You squeeze her hand appreciatively. âYou win one game, you go on until thereâs only one team left.â
Mike and Dustin exchange frightened looks, and you eye them suspiciously. âDid you guys really not know? I thought Steve explained all of this to you already. Why is it such a big deal, anyways? I meanâwait,â the boys wonât meet your gaze. They avoid facing you, Mike stuffs his hands into his pockets and Dustin pretends to read someoneâs poster.Â
You know the fearful look on their faces. Itâs the same look Dustin gave you this morning when he ditched you to ride with Nancy and Mike.Â
Goddamn Eddie Munson.Â
âOh, donât you guys dare.â They wouldnât. They wouldnât fucking dream of missing one of Lucasâ games for a stupid club centered around some guy with enormous ego problems. âI swear to God, if you two skip the game tonightââ
âWe wonât! I-I mean⊠Well. Itâs, uh. Itâs complicatedâ Dustin gulps, elbowing his way through the crowd of departing students as the pep rally ends. Mike follows, ready to step in at any moment, while Max slips away before you can stop her. Seeing how contorted your body is from anger, Dustin tries to appease you. âLook, I canât promise anything, alright? Eddie is⊠Eddie.â
Youâre about to scream some very choice words about that curly haired emo asshole, but Lucas intercepts the group and joins you guys. He looks between you, Mike, and Dustin, sensing some underlying tension. âWhat about Eddie?â
Mike quickly explains, and the more he talks, the more you want to shove your knives down Eddieâs throat. Itâs one night, one goddamn night, and here Mike and Dustin are, almost shitting their pants at the idea of missing one Hellfire meeting to support their friend. While itâs unfortunate that all of this is happening on the same night, and though you recognize how long a campaign can take and how much the game means to the party, for once you canât bring yourself to understand Dustinâs side.Â
A championship game versus one single campaign meeting that can easily be done tomorrow instead.
Seems like a pretty easy decision to you.Â
Lucas doesnât understand why Mike and Dustin are so conflicted either. âI donât get the big deal.â Youâre all outside now, heading towards the main building for your classes. âJust talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire to another night.â
You nod, agreeing with him, and Dustin rolls his eyes. ââJust talk to Eddie.ââ
âYou canât be serious right now,â your shoulder brushes harshly against the boyâs. Youâre barely containing your anger right now. âWhy does Eddie have such a strong hold over you guys? Hasnât he repeated senior year twice now?â
âWhy does that matter?â Mike looks at you as if youâre the scum of the earth that he just so happened to step on. âWhy canât Lucas just talk to his coach and get him to move the game?â
Dustin quips that he thinks Mikeâs idea is a great one, but you shove between them and throw your hands in the air in annoyance. âYou canât possibly think thatâs the same thing, right? A nationally organized game being postponed for a board game.â
Mike and Dustin both gasp at you, acting as if youâve just threatened to kill a baby bunny in front of them, which only annoys you more. Sure, maybe youâre being a little mean right now, but youâre not appreciating how theyâre treating Lucas. Heâs never done anything to warrant this blatant disrespect from them. Theyâre refusing to see his side, too lost in their Eddie induced high.Â
âDnD isnât just a board game, Y/N! Iâm honestly disappointed that you of all people would even say that. Youâve seen the intricacies of a campaign. You know Iâve spent all month now preparing for the end of Eddieâs campaign!â Dustin waves his hands in front of him, heâs in his own ecstasy of anger and annoyance, something innate in the Henderson bloodline. âA semester of adventuring has led to this moment, and we need Lucas.â
âYeah, and the Tigers donât.â Mike looks over at Lucas. âI mean, no offense, but youâve been on the bench all yearâshit!â
You swat the back of Mikeâs head, the sound of his yelp satisfying and the sting of the hit soothes you. He looks at you, offended, and you just shake your head at him. âNo, that was out of line and you know it.â
âOne day Iâm gonna be too tall for you to hit me, you know.â Mike scowls at you as he rubs his head.Â
âAnd Iâll mourn the day when that happens,â you respond dryly before pointing at Lucas. âNow, apologize to him before I hit you again.â
Lucas lowers your finger and shakes his head. âItâs fine, Y/N. Me being on the bench isnât the point, anyways.â
âPlease, arrive at the point.â Your brother drops his head back and closes his eyes. Heâs tired, he regrets even starting this conversation in the first place. The more the four of you talk, the angrier he can feel you become. Mikeâs head may now be sore, but Dustin lives with you. If anyone here is in danger of your lecturing, itâs him.
âIf I get in good with these guys, Iâll be in the popular crowd, and then you guys will be too.â Lucas explains, looking between Dustin and Mike as he urges them to understand, but they donât. Mike claims that they donât want to be popular, something that Lucas doesnât believe. âWhat, you wanna be stuck with the nerds and freaks for three more years?â
âWe are nerds and freaks!â Dustin exclaims, causing a few students in the hall to look at you guys. You wave at them awkwardly, youâre starting to regret following the boys. This conversation feels personal, like you shouldnât be intruding. Though you think Lucas has every right to want a good high school experience, you also think Mike and Dustin deserve to have their own experiences as well. If they donât want to be popular, then thatâs their decision just as much as itâs Lucasâ to want to be.Â
You step between the three boys, finally getting their attention. âGuys, no one here is necessarily right or wrong. Lucas has every right to want to be a part of the basketball crowd, and you two,â you raise your eyebrows at Mike and Dustin, âhave every right to want to stick with Eddieâs crowd.â
Dustin sighs, âthanks, Y/Nââ
âIâm not finished,â you hold a hand up and shush your brother. âWhat isnât right, however, is abandoning one another. You guys are friends, and right now Lucas wants you at his game tonight to support him. Tonight is special, everyone will be there, and I want you guys there as well. I know high school is hard, but itâs even harder when youâre alone.â
âSays the girl who is adored by everyone in this shitty town.â Mike huffs, he canât believe how hypocritical youâre being. âYouâve never had to deal with what we do. No one has ever laughed at you or tried to make you jump off a cliff just because youâre different.â
You clench your jaw. Dustin looks at you wearily, he doesnât like what Mike is saying, but he also canât help but agree with his friend. You havenât ever been bullied. All your life youâve blended in, stood out only when you were kind to others, admired for your selflessness, but never enough to be invited to parties or dumped behind a dumpster.
âMikeâŠâ Your brother tries to pull him away from you, but you both stand your ground.
âYouâre right, Wheeler. I donât know what itâs like.â You stare up at the boy, and Mikeâs expression softens only slightly. Heâs just as stubborn as you are, itâs why the two of you admire the other so much. âBut you forget that Iâm Jonathanâs best friend. The creep, the loser, the psychopath. Kids may not have ever targeted me, but Iâve seen what they do to the people they hate.â
All the times you had to ice Jonathanâs bruised face. The nights you spent in his room holding him as he cried because Lonnieâs fists and Tommyâs cruel words were too much. The sneers, the stares Jonathan received because he was different. Quiet. Being your best friend hadnât lessened the blows.Â
For years you wish you couldâve done more for Jonathan. Now, presented with Lucasâ opportunity to befriend the crowd that once was so cruel to your friend, you refuse to lose it. âThatâs why I donât want Lucas skipping the game tonight.â
Itâs silent for a few moments, all three boys donât know what to say. Taking a deep breath, Lucas stands beside you and breaks the silence. âWe came to high school wanting things to be different, right? Now we have that chance. Like Y/N said, if I skip tonight, thatâs all out the window. So Iâm asking you guys, as a friend, just talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire.â
Lucas pauses, he wets his lips and looks between his friends again. He feels so small, pleading for their attention. âCome to my game. Please.â
The bell rings, ending the conversation, and Lucas spares one last look at Dustin and Mike before mumbling a soft goodbye to you. He leaves you alone with the boys, who in turn mirror conflicted expressions.Â
âShit!â Dustin kicks his foot out and looks at you. âThis is all your fault, you know that?â
âWhat is?â
âMe having empathy. I hate this. Why couldnât you have raised me to be an asshole?â
You snort at Dustin before pulling him into a weak hug. You only have a few more minutes before you need to get to class, you canât stay very long, but you also donât want to leave the boys without some semblance of comfort. âYouâre too charming to be an asshole. Just⊠Come to the game, alright? Both of you. Iâll even make brownies if I have to. I just-Iâve missed you guys. This will be good for all of us.â
Mike ducks his head and Dustin sighs once more. Neither want to say anything else, so you reluctantly release your brother and leave them alone to wallow in their self-created misery.Â
Theyâll do the right thing. Youâre sure of it.
âÂ
Lunch comes and Alex sits next to you. He started sitting with you at lunch just after winter break, and youâre endlessly grateful for him. Youâre no longer alone, and heâs good company. A part of you regrets that it took the two of you three years to grow your friendship outside of Bookstrorindary.Â
Youâll miss him when you graduate.Â
Max is with Ms. Kelly today, a change in their usual meeting schedule of Tuesdays and Thursdays, meaning you had been right. She did skip their meeting yesterday and the counselor had to corner her this morning to schedule another one.Â
âBe honest, how excited are you to move to New York this summer?â Alex asks you, taking a bite out of his carrot stick. Youâve come to learn that he has a weird obsession with the vegetable, always packing at least twelve of them every day.Â
You pick at your own lunch, a wilted salad and sandwich your mom left for you this morning. âHonestly? It hasnât really hit me yet. I mean, I only got in last week. I think my mind is still trying to catch up with reality.â
âOh, câmon. You canât tell me youâre not at least a little excited.â
âOkay, okay,â you laugh and nudge the boy. âIâm a little excited. I just.. Havenât really had time to think too much about it, you know? Between work, my brother, Steve, the kids, andâŠâ
âJonathan?â Alex finishes for you. Heâs the only one who knows about how distant Jonathan has been. Youâve confided in him about how worried you are, about the phone calls while heâs high and the way Jonathanâs voice no longer sounds like his.Â
You shove your lunch away, no longer hungry. âYeah.â
âYou guys call every Friday, right? Maybe tonight will be different!â Alex tries to cut through the tension that now corrodes your demeanor, which you smile at him gratefully for.Â
âYeah, who knows.â A piece of hair falls in your face and you push it behind your ear. Picking up your fork again, you attempt to finish your meal, but a sudden commotion interrupts the low buzz in the lunchroom.Â
âAs long as youâre into band, or science, or parties.â Eddie Munson sneers from the cafeteria table heâs standing on. He looks around the room as if everyone else is beneath him. Not worth his time just because they enjoy different things. Looking at Alex, you both sigh and prepare for whatever Eddie has to say today. His voice grows louder, shouting across the room towards the basketball teamâs table. âOr a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!â
Jason stands up and a few students whoop and cheer. âYou want something, freak?â
Eddie sticks to fingers up behind his head as he creates little devil horns, snarling with his tongue out and hissing. Jason grimaces, you do too.Â
âHeâs a little much, isnât he?â You say to Alex, relieved when Eddie starts to step down from the table.Â
âHe terrifies me.â Alex breathes out, not taking his eyes off Eddie in fear heâll somehow cast a spell on him.
You laugh at your friendâs unnecessary fear. Eddie is harmless, Hellfire isnât a demonic cult like some students at Hawkins seem to think. It really is just a club centered around a board game with impressive storytelling and detailed plotlines. From what Dustin has told you, Eddie truly is the best dungeon master in Indiana.Â
And while you believe him, you canât wrap your head around why your brother idolizes Eddie so much. The fascination runs deeper than just DnD. Dustin has spent almost every day of his freshman year wrapped around Eddieâs finger. He spends all his time with the teen now, rarely with you, but youâre not bitter. Of course youâre not. Dustin can have his own friends, you know this, but you also feel so⊠unneeded.Â
Your little brother doesnât need you anymore, and itâs a hard pill to swallow.
Truthfully, Alexâs question earlier about moving to New York in the summer sparked more than just your usual anxiety over Jonathan. It also reminded you that in only a few short months youâll be in an entirely new state, a new city, far away from Dustin.Â
âY/N!â Dustin flies into the seat next to you, nearly upending the table itself with how violently he throws himself down.
Alex shrieks and you steady the table before anything can fall. Heart pounding, you clutch at your chest as your nerves settle. âWhy must you always be so violent?â
âBecause itâs fun,â Dustin responds, not even bothering to acknowledge Alexâs presence. Instead, his eyes are only on you, and thereâs a crazed spark in them. Heâs breathing heavily, frantic, and you dread where this is going. âLook, I need to ask you a huge favor.â
âDo you realize that this is the first time youâve sat with me at lunch since the first day?â
He winces. âAnd I will repent every day for my horrendous sins. I promise, I justâJesus youâre terrifying when you donât blink.â Dustin removes his hat to fix his hair, a nervous tick of his. Heâs stalling, he shouldâve never come here. Gulping, he rips the band aid off. âI need you to sub for Lucas tonight.â
âIâm sorry?â Youâre giving him an out, one chance to back down before you strangle him.
Only Dustin tightens the noose even more. âPlease, Y/N! Eddie wonât move the campaign. He said something about sheep and-and finding subs because Mike and I are, uh. I guess the future of Hellfire and he needs us and did I mention how important this campaign is? Itâs super cool, super gory and totally up your alley andââ
âNo.â
âN-no?â Dustin practically deflates in front of you, the light in his eyes dies.Â
You shove him away from you, you donât want to look at his pathetic pouting. Youâre so unbelievably hurt right now, so fucking infuriated. âYou have spent every goddamn waking hour ass kissing Eddie. You havenât so much as looked at me during lunch this entire year as if Iâm a fucking plague. Youâve canceled plans, youâre hardly ever home, and now you expect me to abandon Lucas, someone who has spent time with me this year, someone who has made this entire year less lonely for me. Something, by the way, that you havenât even noticed, all because you finally need me?â
Dustinâs mouth opens and closes, he doesnât know what to say, but for once you donât care. How could he possibly think youâd miss Lucasâ game tonight? You adore the boys, each and every one of them, and now Dustin expects you to just abandon one of them for the others?Â
âYouâre only here because itâs convenient for you.â You hiss, venom pouring from your voice. âFor Eddie.âÂ
âY/NâŠâ Dustinâs voice breaks, he sounds like a little kid again, the baby brother you doted on your entire life. âPlease.â
âNo!â You scream at him.Â
The word echoes throughout the cafeteria. A few students turn to you, some curious, some annoyed. Alex draws into himself, wishing he were anywhere but here right now. Dustinâs eyes widen, his skin pales, and you clamp your hand over your mouth, completely and utterly mortified.Â
Youâve never, ever yelled at Dustin like this before. Not with so much malice, vitriol.Â
You feel like youâre twelve again, your anger hurting your baby brother.Â
Red hot with embarrassment and shame, you quickly get up from the table and flee the cafeteria. Dustin calls after you, but you stumble through the hallway towards the nearest bathroom. Tears burn your eyes, guilt wracks your body in painful thuds.Â
By the time you lock yourself in the bathroomâs stall, your sobs have begun to claw their way out of your throat. Pressing your back against the wall, you sink to the ground and pull your knees into your chest as you finally allow yourself to cry.
Abandonment makes you cruel. Your father taught you that.
âÂ
You donât see Dustin for the rest of the day. Heâs missing Lucasâ game and youâre angry with him for that, but you also feel such an intense guilt over your outburst. You canât stomach the thought of seeing him.Â
School ends and Steve drives you to work. The shift will be a short one due to the championship game, and Steve is staying with you so that you can drive to the game together. However, the moment you get into his car, he notices the dried tears on your face and the redness in your eyes and immediately throws his arms around you. In between shaky breaths and cries, you explain what happened to Steve.
He soothes you, tells you that you can always talk to Dustin after tonightâs game. Right now you and your brother need space from one another, and you hate that Steveâs right. Youâll force Dustin into a code blue, youâre long overdue for one, anyways. Heâs been acting weird for weeks now. Someone has to give in, you know this, and if it has to be you then youâll do anything to get your brother back.Â
For now, Steve holds your hand as he guides you through the crowd of people in the bleachers. They all cheer for Hawkins High, the energy in the gym is electric. Faces are painted, cheerleaders wave their pom-poms, and youâre wearing Steveâs old Tigers jersey. Youâre not much for school spirit, but Steve almost crashed the car when he realized you were wearing the jersey, and you know Lucas will appreciate it too.
âY/N, over here.â Steveâs hand falls onto the small of your back as he gently pushes you towards some open seats heâs found. You lean into his touch and sit beside him. With his body against yours, you try to immerse yourself in the joy from the crowd.Â
The entire town is here tonight. Everyone is smiling, kids laugh and parents wave posters for their sons. Tonight will be a good night, youâve decided this to be true.Â
The national anthem is announced and everyone rises in their seats. When the broadcaster announces that Tammy Thompson will be singing, you and Steve look at each other incredulously. Laughter rises within you and you cackle when Robin finds the two of you in the crowd. Thereâs no way this wonât end in disaster.Â
Tammy walks out, wearing a horrendous faux cowboy outfit, and almost immediately sings off-key. You cringe, ears stinging from the attack, and try desperately not to let out any laughter as she continues to butcher the song.Â
Steve whispers over to Robin, âtold you. Muppet.â
âOkay, she does sound like a muppet.â Robin agrees, which only makes it harder to contain your giggles. Tammy is worse than a muppet, she sounds like a goddamn muppet that broke into her dadâs alcohol stash.Â
âYou sound better, angel.â Steve whispers into your ear, breath warm against your skin.Â
You lean back against him and smile sarcastically. âAnyone can sound better than her.â
Steve chuckles and you canât help but join him. You know itâs rude, that Tammy is honestly not that bad, though definitely not good enough for Nashville, but you canât help it. You canât believe Robin ever had such a huge crush on the girl who now drones the national anthem like a dying parrot.Â
In between breaths of laughter, you see Lucas looking up at the bleachers. His face is grim, he doesnât see Mike or Dustin or Max. None of his friends showed up, and you watch him with sympathy. You canât believe them.Â
But then Lucas sees you, and he gives you a weak smile. Your attendance isnât enough, you know it isnât, but you hold up the poster you made for him and he laughs despite himself.Â
The game starts, and from the moment the whistle is blown, itâs intense. The Tigers are neck and neck with the Falcons. Steve tries to explain whatâs happening throughout the game, but it all goes over your head. The energy in the room is intoxicating, though. You lean forward in your seat, you cheer when everyone else does, boo when you think you should.
âCarver just loves hogging the spotlight, doesnât he?â Steve says with disdain as he watches Jason side sweep his teammates to score.Â
You poke his side, you know heâs only saying this because heâs still bitter that Jason tried asking you out last summer. âHoney, your jealousy is showing.âÂ
Steve tries to deny this, but then a player gets injured during a foul from Falcon, causing you and Steve to both spew insults at the player. You have no idea what the foul even is, but youâre enjoying the chaos of the game.
In the midst of your uproar, you almost miss Lucas being sent into the game. You slap Steveâs chest repeatedly to get his attention, you almost donât believe what youâre seeing. âSteve! Is thatââ
âSinclair!â He whoops, but he quickly scrambles to catch you as you nearly throw yourself off the bleachers in your blind excitement cheering. Youâre screaming your head off, hardly even registering Steveâs hands on your waist. Youâre incoherent and ecstatic, drunk on adrenaline.Â
Lucas is playing.
The game only gets more brutal from there. The points even out, both teams neck and neck. Anxious, you squeeze Steveâs hand with anticipation. Everything happens so fast, Lucas plays so naturally with the others, as if he was born to be there.Â
âGo, Tigers!â You jump up and down as Lucas runs after Jason. Theyâre doing a new play, attempting to score the tie breaker. Jason shoots, the ball hits off the backboard and onto the rim. Your breath catches, thereâs only three seconds left on the clock. The ball falls, and there isnât any time left.
Until Lucas catches the missed shot. He dribbles the ball, you clutch Steveâs hand, neither one of you utters a single word as Lucas makes the final shot. Itâs an all or nothing throw, a risk, but he takes it anyways. The ball soars through the air, hits the rim. The buzzer sounds, the game is over, and the ball spins around the rim before finally sinking through the net.
Your chest burns as you violently cheer, Steve flings himself into your arms. Youâre both jumping around, screaming together like little kids. âHey did it!â You scream, and Steve shakes you in his arms with the biggest smile on his face.
âSinclair did it!â
Down below, Lucasâ face lights up as the crowd goes wild for him. This is the happiest youâve seen the kid in so long. The entire basketball team swarms Lucas, they lift him into the air and you cheer alongside them.
Steve tells you heâll go warm the car up and you practically run outside to find Lucas as soon as the game is done. Your body buzzes, youâre still breathless with exhilaration. When you find Lucas, heâs just left the crowd of teenage boys. Wanting to surprise him, you creep up slowly before throwing your arms from behind him. âThereâs the star!â
He stumbles from your weight, but he knows itâs you. Laughing, he turns around and you pull him into a bone crushing hug. âYou came!â
âOf course I did, you moron!â You giggle, pulling away to straighten his jacket. âI made you a poster and everything.â
Lucas looks down at the poster that hangs by your side. His eyes light up, he remembers seeing it in the stands at the beginning of the game, but he hadnât been able to read it from so far away. âCan I see it?â
âIâd be offended if you didnât want to see it.â You unroll the poster and present it with a grand flourish. âTada!âÂ
Sin to win, Sinclair!
Youâre incredibly proud of the wordplay, and Lucas chuckles. Itâs good, he has to admit. Youâve left no white space on the poster, littering with small 8âs for his jersey and millions of small stickers and decorations. The poster was made with love, and Lucas knows you spent hours making it.
âI love it, Y/N.â He does. It will hang on his wall as soon as he gets home.
You beam at him. Then, from behind you, you hear your brotherâs own cheers as a door opens. Lucasâ smile fades, hurt creeps upon his face. Frowning, you turn and find Dustin and Mike high fiving their Hellfire friends as they all celebrate the end of their campaign. Erica is with them, cheering with everyone else.Â
âLucasâŠâ Your breath gives out. He doesnât deserve this. Tonight was supposed to be his night. You turn to him, wracking your brain to try and figure out what youâre even supposed to say at this moment. Fifty feet away Lucasâ close friends are celebrating a night without him, his sister overjoyed as well. Theyâve forgotten about him.
For once, you canât find the right words to say.
âThanks for the poster, Y/N.â Lucas doesnât want your sympathy. He leaves, crestfallen, and youâre left standing alone holding the poster he had been praising seconds ago. The late March air chills your bones.Â
Youâve never been so disappointed in your brother before.
âÂ
Steve drives you home and youâre silent the entire time.Â
âDustin isnât a bad kid, Y/N. You know that.â Steve tries to reason with you, but what your brother has done tonight leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. âIâm sure by tomorrow heâll realize he was a jerk and apologize. He always does, heâs just being a stupid teen boy right now.â
You face the window, watching the trees fading into the distance. You know Steve is right, you know that Dustin is still growing up, making mistakes. Hell, no one is perfect at fifteen. When you were his age you were falling in love with your best friend as you hunted monsters together. Neither you or Jonathan or Nancy knew what the hell you guys were doing back then.
But this is different. Dustin has never betrayed his friends like this before. He, out of all of them, should understand the pain of being left behind. He spent half the summer upset that the party ditched him, and now heâs ditching Lucas?
âYou know, I used to be a stupid teen boy.â Steve says, trying again to get you to say something. To look at him, at least.
It works, a small smile turns your lips. âI never knew.â
He laughs at the sarcasm in your voice, but he plays along anyways. âOh, I totally was. I just hid it really well by, you know, making you hate me for a while by being annoying. But hey, look at me now! Iâm still annoying, but at least I have it all figured out with you.â
âAnd what do you have figured out, honey?â You turn your head towards him, watch the street lamps illuminate his face.
Steve smiles. âUs. Our future. Sure, I may not know if Iâll ever get a better job, but Iâm sure as shit staying with you, starting a life together so that I can annoy you for all eternity.â
âHow romantic,â a giggle falls from your lips. Youâve been with Steve for nearly a year now, but you havenât really talked about the future yet. At least not so intimately, with so much assurance that in the end itâll be the two of you. âAnd where will we live, Romeo?â
âNew York, obviously. As soon as you graduate, weâll find some horrible, run down apartment thatâs barely big enough for two people. Weâll move in, but there wonât be any air conditioning so weâll almost murder each other in the heat. Everyone will hate the place, but weâll love it.â
As Steve talks, the smile that had once been on your face begins to fade. He rambles on, not noticing the shift. He dreams up the plans, how heâll stay home while you go to class. How heâll fix the leaky faucet that will inevitably annoy everyone. Steve envisions himself waiting for you to come home after a long day of classes and falling into his arms.Â
âSteveââ But he doesnât hear you. Heâs busy explaining how heâll probably have to sell his car to afford the apartment, but that he doesnât care, and you feel sick. Itâs too much, heâs giving up too much. Heâs willing to give up his entire life for you, drop everything and follow you without any questions asked.Â
Itâs what your mother did for your father. They met in college, both attending Purdue. Their relationship had been a whirlwind. Love at first sight, married as soon as they graduated, your father convinced your mom to follow him back to Virginia. To abandon her family and move two states over while pregnant with you. She didnât know anyone in Virginia, her father moved them to a small town where only his name was known.Â
The divorce that followed twelve years later ruined your motherâs life. She had been left all alone, no family to support her, no friends, in a state she never grew up in.
And now Steve wants to do the same for you.
Raising your voice slightly, you try to interrupt him again. âSteve!â
âWhat?â He looks over at you, words finally dying. âDo you want to keep the car?â
âYou⊠you canât.âÂ
Steve frowns. âI canât what?â
Your hands shake. Your heart trembles. Your words die in your throat. Thereâs so much you want to say, you can feel the pit in your stomach build into a fist. You canât let Steve do this. He doesnât understand that he deserves more than this. âYou-you canât come to New York.â
Everything stills. You donât dare to breathe, to disrupt the silence. Your words come out all wrong, you know they do, but theyâre out in the open and Steve doesnât look at you as he pulls into your driveway. Silent, he turns the carâs engine off.
âY/NâŠâ Steve still canât look at you. He places his hands on the steering wheel, as if bracing himself for whatever will unfold tonight. Heâs scared, he doesnât understand what heâs done wrong. His mind flashes, and for a brief second heâs back at the Halloween party and youâre Nancy in his passenger seat. âDo you not see a future with me?â
âI do!â You sit up in your seat, reach over to touch Steveâs thigh. You need to feel him, to ground yourself to him. Everything about this feels wrong. As if youâre hanging over the edge of a chasm with a long, long fall. âGod, of course I see a future with you, I just-this isnât what you really want.â
Steve doesnât want to move to New York, even if he doesnât realize it now. What heâs really doing is chasing after a dream that isnât his. The timing of this is off, he fought with his dad this morning about a future he was unsure of. You know Steve, maybe even better than he knows himself; heâs not doing it for your relationship or out of love. Steve only wants to appease his father, fulfill whatever desire he thinks you have. This isnât what he wants, and heâs worked too hard to build the life he has now, without you, to simply throw it all away.
But he canât see that right now.
âOf course this is what I want, Y/N! All I want is you.â Steve finally looks at you, but thereâs a hardness in his eyes. Heâs detaching himself from you, putting his walls up. âYou and me, thatâs what I want.â
You grab his hand, you try to keep your voice calm. âSteve, I love you so, so much, but I canât-I canât let you give everything up for me. Your life is here, in Hawkins. You have a job, you have your friends and-and your family, and it wouldnât be fair to either one of us if you abandon it for me. You could-you could resent me for it later, you could realize you hate our life and wish you never followed me andââ
âY/N, what did you think was going to happen when you were applying to all those colleges?â Steve runs a hand through his hair, he thought you were beside him this whole time. He assumed youâd been carving out the same future he had been. But he was wrong. âDid you really think Iâd just stay behind and wait for you to come home every break?â
âIâŠâ Shamefully, you hadn't been considering what would happen between you and Steve. In your mind, he was your future, he was in it, but the details were hazy. You werenât sure how, or why, or when, but you knew that in the end, Steve was the person youâd spend forever with.Â
Steve takes your hesitancy as his answer. âGod, Iâm such a fucking idiot.â
âSteveââ
âYou were just going to leave me.â
He tears his hand from yours and you blink back tears. Youâve never fought with him before, not like this. âI wasnât just going to leave you! I just-Steve, please just listen!â
âI am, Y/N!â Steve exclaims, voice reverberating the car. You flinch away, and he immediately lowers his voice, apologetic. He hadnât meant to scare you, he hadnât meant to make you cry. Ashamed, Steve turns away from you. âI-Iâm sorry.âÂ
He wants to wipe the tears heâs caused, but selfishly he also wants you to hurt like heâs hurting. You donât see a future with Steve. You were going to leave him just like everyone else does.Â
Steve shouldâve known all of this was too good to be true.Â
âI love you,â your voice is almost inaudible, the three words barely reach the light before they disappear into the dark night. Youâre not sure why you say them, the words had built in your chest, the pressure heavy, and you needed to release them. To remind Steve of your oath to him.Â
Silence fills the car. Steve doesnât look at you, his shoulders are drawn together. His jaw clenches and you know heâs trying desperately to bite his tongue, withholding the cruel words that only heartbreak can provoke.Â
âHoney,â you beg him to say something, anything. âSteve.â
âI think you should go.â
The dismissal punches your throat, knocks the wind out of you. Heâs shutting you out, closing himself off from you, and you donât understand how the two of you got here. âI⊠Are you sure?â
âYes,â Steveâs words are cool, composed. Indifferent, almost. He still doesnât look at you, his eyes remain focused on something in your driveway. âItâs late, you should get some sleep.â
âOkay,â you donât want to leave, you know it isnât good to go to bed angry with the one you love. Anger should never simmer, it should never be left unwatched. But Steve is silently asking you to give him space so that he can hurt, and you arenât selfish enough to deny his request. And yet youâre selfish enough to press your lips to Steveâs cheek, but he doesnât lean in like how normally does. Instead, he remains stoic, and you swallow down your tears and open the door to leave. âDrive home safe, honey.â
Steve doesnât say anything else. Instead, he starts the car as soon as the door is closed and drives away. He doesn't look back, he doesnât wait to see if youâve made it inside your house safely.Â
Tears spill down your face as you blindly walk towards your front door. Your argument with Steve replays over and over again in your head. You analyze every second, every word, you try to understand when everything fell apart.Â
Itâs dark in your home, your mother is asleep and Dustinâs door is closed, but right now all you want is your brother. You need to talk to him, cry into his shoulder and smell the shampoo heâs used ever since he was a baby. Your feet carry you to Dustinâs room and you pound on his door, begging him to let you in. You donât bother masking the tears in your voice, youâre too exhausted to hide them from him. âDustin, please let me in.â
âGo away!â Thereâs a thud on the door, heâs thrown something at it to shut you up. He doesnât want to hear some stupid lecture right now. He knows he was an asshole tonight, he regrets it, but right now all Dustin wants to do is sleep. Heâll deal with you tomorrow.Â
âCode blue,â you press your forehead against the door, your tears fall to the ground. âC-code blue.â Your voice hiccups, more tears come, minutes pass, and your brother never answers.
For the first time since you were kids, Dustin rejects your request for a code blue.Â
The phone rings. The sound pierces through your ears, cuts through the headache that is starting to form. Itâs Friday night. Jonathan is calling.Â
Squeezing your eyes shut as you head pounds, you inhale shakily. You have to answer him, otherwise heâll only call over and over again with concern. Youâve never missed a phone call, not once in the months since Jonathan has moved, but tonight youâre exhausted.Â
âCan we call tomorrow?â Youâre too tired to greet him and voice cracks, revealing far too much already.
âBug?â Jonathanâs high, heâs always high. And yet even in his cloudy haze of smoke he can hear the anguish in your voice. âIs everythinâ okay?â
His question only makes you cry more. Youâve always tried your best to put up a front for others, to pretend that everything is okay. Youâve never wanted to worry people, youâve always pushed aside your own hurt for the sake of others. Now, as anger and grief and despair clasp their hands around your throat, youâre terrified youâll suffocate.Â
Youâve never been able to lie to Jonathan, and tonight you donât think you can. âIâve had⊠the worst night.â You confess to him, wiping away tears.
You tell him everything, your fight with Dustin, how you think he may resent you leaving for college. You tell Jonathan about Lucas, how you were so disappointed in Dustin and Mike. Choking through tears, you explain to Jonathan your fight with Steve. How your words failed you, how hurt he looked, that you canât explain to him how he only wants his future to align with yours, but not with your relationship.Â
Even though you know that Jonathan wonât remember any of this tomorrow, for once youâre grateful that heâs too high to remember anything. It feels good just being able to say it all out loud.Â
ââM sorry, bug.â Jonathan mumbles over the phone once youâve finished explaining everything. He sounds far away, figuratively and literally. You canât imagine how much his drugged mind retained, but youâre thankful to have gotten it all off your chest anyways.Â
âItâs fine,â you inhale again, youâve finally stopped crying, though your chest still hurts and your head still pounds. âSteve and I⊠Weâll figure it out.â
Jonathan pauses, and for a moment you think heâs fallen asleep, but then his voice floats through the telephone line. âDo you.. Do you ever wonder if weâve made a mistake?â
He strings his words slowly together, says them one by one with a hesitancy, and you frown. You donât understand what heâs trying to say. What mistakes could you have made together? âWhat do you mean, bee?â
âI just⊠everythinâ is so hard. With Nance. Feel like⊠like âm never enough for her. And you, Steve. âS hard between you guys.â Jonathanâs words slur, heâs almost too incoherent to understand, and later you will wish that you hadnât been able to understand him at all. âBut you ân me? âS easy. Always so easy.â
His words toe the line between you, he canât mean any of it. You donât want him to mean any of it, because then the fallout would be too catastrophic to contain.
Heâs Jonathan. Your oldest, dearest friend. Your best friend. Years ago, you couldâve been something more, you almost were something more, but the time has passed.Â
Youâre with Steve now, youâre happy and so, so in love with him. Even though everything is tangled between you right now, even though youâre fighting, you know that you and Steve will figure it out. Heâs the one. Heâs the man you want to marry one day, if heâll allow you to.Â
Jonathan is your past, Steve is your future, and right now youâre terrified that soon youâll lose them both.
âJonathan,â you finally say, his name now heavy on your tongue. It feels like youâre betraying someone while saying his name, but you need to end this conversation. Before Jonathan says something heâll regret in the morning. âYou love Nancy, I love Steve, and you need to go to sleep.â
âLove you,â Jonathanâs words slur even more, his voice drifting off. âYou, always youâŠâ
You slam the phone done, ending the call, as a chill runs down your spine. Silence encases you, the house is still. The strings and threads from years ago constrict around your throat. You choke on the lines Jonathan has crossed tonight, the tightness in your head stabs against your skull.Â
There is no one to hear you, no one there to hear your final words to your best friend. âGoodbye, Jonathan.â
-
â series masterlist
â if youd like to buy me a coffee âïž
â thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite#slowburn#angst#bdyr#m's writing#SEASON 4 EVERYONE CHEER !!!!#also i dont hate eddie but bug does#lmao
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Imagine reader artist, who loves to draw Miguel. And the other day she's just drawing naked Miguel's body. He saw it and just smirks and say: "I've got bigger than that" or "I could show/pose for accuracy"
TW: raunchy smut, Dom!miguel, fem reader, smut with no plot.
A/N: I wrote half of this while at work and a little drunk. So here ya go. Also currently in the process of writing a part two.
Miguelâs face filled your sketchbook, his back in his spider suit, his mask, every angle you could find him at. You often sat in his office for hours while he did reports, sketching him and drawing him. You loved using different mediums and colors, giving him new features and styles. You specifically loved practicing drawing his broad body and sculpted as-
Ahem. Legs.
Yes, ok, fine, you had a small crush on your boss, whatever, no big deal.
You would purposefully finish all of your work as fast as possible so you could sit back and draw him. And because you werenât loud or annoying, and everything was always done on time and orderly, he let you.
But one mission in particular made him stressed out, and as you watched him filling out data about the anomaly heâd just captured, he glitched his suit down his torso and injected himself with that mysterious green liquid, entrancing you for those glorious few seconds.
It was very obvious he had a nice body, duh. But you never let your mind go too far in imagining him out of his suit, scared to go into a territory you couldnât back out of.
And now you did, drawing his torso and pecks, shading his abs, and this got you curious about more.
Lower.
Biting your lip, you sat in the cafeteria a few days later. You purposefully sat with your back to a wall, making sure no one could sneak up on you and see what you were drawing, as you drew him laying down. His arms splayed behind his head, face relaxed, as you defined his leg muscles. As you finished the piece of art, the only area youâd avoided was his groin.
And now you stared at the empty area of art, knee bouncing from anxiety about how you were supposed to draw this. You had no reference for him. Yes, youâd seen dicks before, obviously. You lived in a universe with unrestricted internet access, so itâs not like youâd never been around the block, but here you were, blushing like a 15 year old just because of a dick.
Drawing and then erasing and drawing, you repeated the process a few times before you heard someone click their tongue in front of you. Youâd been so consumed by what you were doing, you didnât even feel your spider senses or hear them come close.
Miguel stood with an eyebrow raised and his hands on his hips, eyeing you curiously. âWhy are you so jumpy?â He asked and you snatched the book in front of you to your chest, stuttering some bullshit answer about too much caffeine. He just nodded and continued giving you a new order.
You got up from your seat and moved to follow him to his cold, dark lair area. As you were about to step onto his platform, you tripped and your hands flew out to stabilize your fall. As you did, the notebook flew across the floor and slid as your vision blurred from how fast youâd collapsed, getting up slowly and rolling your shoulders. You reached to where the sketch book had fallen, but it was no longer there.
No.
NO.
It was between his fingers, as he flipped through the pages slowly, eyeing your work with his brows furrowed, focused. You jumped towards him and he just turned his back, making you feel like you ran into a wall. You reached around him and he webbed your wrist to the table beside you, still not tearing his eyes from your work.
âStop, thatâs private! Give it back!â You shouted and he rolled his eyes briefly.
âItâs all drawings of me, I think Iâm allowed to see-â and his words stopped as he flipped to the newest page.
The nude drawing of him.
You gulped as his expression became unreadable, stoic, and your eyes flashed between the art and him. âI-I was just practicing forms and poses-â
âItâs⊠inaccurate.â He spoke lowly before your eyes blinked for a moment, confused.
âWhat do you mean?â
He walked to you and stood tall, bending down slightly to stare directly into your eyes. His mouth turned up at the ends and his eyes glittered with something youâd never seen in him before.
Turning the book back to you and showing you your own drawing, he smirked deeper.
âIâm much bigger.â His eyes were almost challenging you, making your blood run ice cold, and you felt his hands yank your body against his. âDo you want to see for reference?â
And then his watch made a loud sound, Lyla popping up to explain some anomaly on earth number whatever. He groaned and turned to walk out. âIâll be back once this is done. Donât go anywhere because When I do return, weâre continuing where we left off.â
Then he was gone and you stood, mouth agape from the whole exchange. You thought it might take a while for him to capture this anomaly, so Youâd decided to go back to your own universe in preparation, showering and fixing yourself up. You bit your nail nervously as you thought about it all. Was he serious? No way, rightâŠ?
As you stood in the bathroom mirror, the sound of a portal opening cut through your mind like a knife, making your body rush into your living room. You gripped the towel tight around your torso as you saw Miguel walk out of the colorful dimension behind him and into yours. The portal closed and with that, his mask disintegrated so you could see his face. A bit tired, he still had a less-than-enthusiastic expression on.
âI thought I told you not to go anywhere.â He repeated and you stood stuff as a board, now a bit scared. He took slow, calculated steps towards you as your head tilted back to continue watching him. âInaccurate and disobedient. I have a lot to teach you, donât I?â His index finger hooked under your chin as he smirked and grabbed your hand with his free one, pulling you into your bathroom. He looked around for a second before hitting a button on his watch and letting the fabric disappear.
You bit your lip as your eyes took full advantage of his exposed skin. âYou- it-â
âYeah. I know.â He grabbed your wrist and spun you around, bending you over your counter with your hand breached against your back. âNow I want you to really study how I fuck you, so that you get a good look at how big I am, and how easy I can maneuverïżŒ this body.â He whispered into your damp hair and pushed down, then ripping the towel away and throwing it out of the bathroom completely.
His eyes stared down at your weeping cunt and he licked his lips. âIâll be tasting you another time. Today, I want you to really feel my size.â He was cocky, and he had a right to be. His dick was huge, almost alarmingly big.
The tip of his cock pressed against your entrance and you clenched your jaw. âItâs gonna hurt, but Iâll go slow. That way you can feel good and still learn.â He cooed in a teasing tone and your eyes found his in the mirror, watching intently as he began to push into you. The sudden width he was stretching you to was mind numbing and your knees began to buckle, but he just held you up with one hand, the other still guiding himself into you.
âCoño, your sucking me in so nicely, might not even need to slow down.â He spoke and your eyes were rolling back from his words, to which you snapped out of once his hand that was holding you up held your face harshly towards the mirror. âNo slacking, little girl. You better keep your eyes on my cock.â
Halfway inside, and you were already fluttering around him, on the verge of orgasm. âThatâs it, sucia, cum on my cock. Itâll be the first time of many.â You shivered at his words, feeling him sink in further and immediately orgasming. The rolls of pleasure washing through you made him grunt as his hips couldnât help but rut into you harshly. The lack of prep had you feeling everything he was giving you, hyper aware of your insides wrapping around him.
âMm, wanna fuck me back? Grind back onto my cock? Paciencia, Nena.â He instructed as you kept trying to get him in further. Wrapping a hand around your torso, he tweeked at your nipples and made you gasp from the sensation. âThatâs it,â he mumbled.
Finally, smirked, he chuckled darkly as you tried once more to thrust backwards. âFine, you asked for it.â He met your eyes in the mirror, now blood red and swirling with the threat as he snapped his hips forward and forced the rest of him into you, making you gargle out a strained sound in shock and pleasure. The pain was beautiful, and began to subside quickly as you felt him twitch. He hit every spot and more, feeling new depths and points of pleasure.
Tears welled in the corners of your eyes as he started aïżŒ slightly faster pace. Your body jiggled from the movements and the sound of skin slapping against skin filled your apartment, your mouth hanging open as your eyes never left were his dick was buried into you. He smiled, enjoying the way you watched his cock disappear into you over and over, and you felt the pressure building once more. How he bullied your cunt and grinned while doing it made you burst, tears breaking free and a scream ripping through you as your pussy squeezed him.
âFuck, so tight.â He groaned, head now falling back and he kept going, beginning to chase his own high. Your mind had shut off now, fucked practically stupid on his cock and he rocking into you mercilessly. His speed was unmatched and he moved to pick up your hips to meet his, closing the gap your height difference had created, and finally having him slam into you until his hips met your ass, making you choke on your own oxygen from the absolute brutal beating he was giving your cervix.
He slid one hand to the back of your neck and pressed you further into the counter top of your sink, forcing your pert nipples to meet the cold marble and you cried out more, barely able to push back against him now as you were trapped between his body and your bathroomâs confinementsïżŒ with only your top toes touching the floor. Your face was streaked with tears as he grunted and let out ragged breaths.
âThe perfect little pussy, so perfect for my cock. You can take it, little artist. You wanted to draw my cock so badly, now you have the perfect image to do it. Fucked deep inside of you. Draw us like this for me, yeah? I wanna see it everyday. Or should I just fuck you every day instead?â His words tumbled from his mouth like an avalanche and you could feel his cock about to burst, making you teeter over that cliff as well. âThatâs it, strangle my cock. Cum all over me, niña, paint me with your cute cunt.â He demanded and you obliged, feeling a shooting electric sensation rip out of you. Suddenly, you were both a bit wet between the thighs and he was mesmerized by what he saw. Your juices squirt all over him and he came instantly after seeing that, pounding into you as far as he could and forcing his cum the deepest it could be inside of you.
Both of you were unmoving as you caught your breath, a layer of sweat covering you both as you stared at each other in the mirror. No words could describe what had just happened and Miguel smiled once more, which prompted you to ask.
âWhat?â
âYou need to get a mirror by your bed. Because I want to do this to you every day.â He watched your eyes widen in the mirror in front of you both as he licked your neck from behind and sinking his fangs into your soft skin, jutting his hips once more and making you realize he was still hard.
âFor art purposes.â
Part two is out!
#miguel spiderverse#miguel x reader#miguel oâhara smut#miguel oâhara#miguel oâhara x reader#miguel spiderman#miguel o'hara#miguel smut#angst#miguel ohara smut#smut
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alright i'm gonna talk about the letter apparently. i was just gonna write something petty to rot in my drafts but i've decided i actually wanna collect my thoughts here.
this got. too long. it's under the cut.
FIRST. The letter doesn't invalidate his choice in Re Creation. WHY would he give up the wish he is currently making with the expectation that Adrien Might make the wish he actually wants sometime in the future. He's not the brightest but he's not that dumb. It would be an absolutely nonsense decision to make.
For now I'm gonna assume Gabriel wrote the letter.
I think Intuition is probably when it would've happened. He's high key dying and Nathalie asks him to make arrangements for Adrien, and despite his general inability to envision his failure he Does ask Adrien about it. And in the letter he assumes Nathalie will still be there; as of Intuition they think she'll outlive him. So, arrangements: world's shittiest letter.
And he marks it as anachronistic and puts it in the box with Froggy. Which is in character. White!Gabriel constantly doles out affection to Adrien to manipulate him. Look at Froggy, remember we love each other, and then read this mind blowing letter. Then go beg Nathalie to help you stop being an orphan even though she'd given up on that.
The contents of the letter, for reference:
My son. If you're reading this letter, it means I'm with your mother. I sacrificed everything to save Emilie. Monarch was me. I did all I could to seize the miraculous of the ladybug and the black cat. With their powers, I could have brought your mother back. But I failed. It's your turn, now, to continue my mission. Don't worry. You'll have help. Nathalie will explain. You will seize the miraculous of that wretched Ladybug and her pathetic partner Cat Noir, and you will make the wish to bring your mother and me back. You will be perfect. I know these revelations will turn your life completely upside down. It was the case for your mother and me when we first found out about the miraculous. But we never regretted harnessing the peacock to-
The letter to me, largely sounds like Gabriel could've written it. He Would be petty about Chat Noir.
"My son." Gabriel calls Adrien that on relatively few occasions, but he considers it affectionate, and importantly, he does it in Both My-Son-Is-Chat timelines, and fairly frequently as white!Gabriel, specifically to manipulate him. We're off to a very Gabriel start.
I am curious about him calling her Emilie to Adrien. Not in a "That's not Gabriel*" way, just. It's weird to call your partner by their name to your kids right? Are they just reminding Us of her name?? (*not that he's ever done it before)
"But I failed." His inability to conceive of a world where he fails; you might consider this an issue of ego, stubbornness, whatever. I. Do not. When he says he can't live without Emilie in Re Creation, he fucking means it. He finally accepts her death and Immediately kills himself. He can't lose because the world can't go on without Emilie. So despite it being uncharacteristic to Make Arrangements (notably. he doesn't, like, find a caretaker for adrien. just this letter.), I'm not marking it against Gabriel writing the letter because the arrangements he's making are actually just to make sure Emilie comes back.
"It's your turn, now, to continue my mission. You'll have help. Nathalie will explain." It's not Nathalie will help. It's Nathalie will explain. You'll have help. From the cult. (Who notably refer to the diamond's "mission" at the end.) The point of this letter isn't to get Adrien to start hunting miraculous (on his own). It's to get Adrien into the cult. Which I'm sure Nathalie recognizes.
Perfect and revelation are both loaded words but I don't have any thoughts on em beyond that.
"But we never regretted harnessing the peacock" (A lie, but one I can appreciate.) This is what really gets me. He's going to tell Adrien he's a senti. Which doesn't make any sense for Gabriel to do. A deathbed confession about senti stuff? Yeah, Maybe. But if he plans on being back to deal with the consequences of Adrien knowing??? This isn't going to endear him to Adrien. I don't think it'll make him more likely to listen. All it'll do is fuck the boy up.
And as someone else (i do not recall who) pointed out, hiding the letter in the box when you're working with the very limited time frame of Nathalie's life from Gabriel's perspective as he's ostensibly writing this would be Exceptionally risky. Its been months, now that we're finding it. But if it was written after Gabriel's wish that's a moot point.
I legit went into this post without strong feelings on who wrote the letter but I've kinda fully convinced myself it wasn't Gabriel. (<says noted Gabriel Apologist. but I was managing that just fine when I thought he Did write it so.)
Anyway I'm officially putting my money on "written by the cult, for the cult."
#I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH OF WHAT IM SAYING IS STUPID OBVIOUS#AND THIS IS LONGER THAN IT PROBABLY NEEDS TO BE HUH#I LOVE TO RAMBLE BOUT MY MAN#miraculous ladybug#gabriel agreste#ml s6 spoilers#el toro de piedra spoilers#not art
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