#very sure now they wrote him for ME specifically
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Roses are Red
đđMidnight's DCA Valentine's Day 2đđ
I was feeling, something, when I wrote this, and by that i mean lots of flirting and such ajsldkfjklsjdf
Prompt: Gardeners Sun and Moon preparing a special bunch of roses for their dear Y/N and hiding an engagement ring in a single special rose. Y/N happily saying yes and giving the boys a smooch!
Word Count: 2403
Read here if you prefer ao3!
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You stand by the kitchen door, hand on your hip and brow raised.Â
"This again?" You ask the moon-themed bot in front of you, as he leans one elbow on the counter. Awkwardly, mind you, with his height.Â
He shrugs, despite very clearly blocking the door to outside. "I'm afraid I don't follow, Sweet."
You cross your arms, nodding to behind him. "Okay, then may I get past you to go outside?"
"Why bother?" He tsks. "Dreadful weather today, wouldn't you rather stay inside?"
You wrinkle your nose. "No. I think it's a lovely morning actually, based on how sunny it is, and the nice breeze coming in through the window. I'd like to read my book on the swing."Â
You'd gotten up extra early for exactly this reason. You were hoping if you woke up just a bit sooner, you could sneak out and enjoy the garden as you'd so been hoping to. It was a bit frustrating that you had to put it that way. 'Sneaking out' of your own home. But that's what it had come to at this point.Â
Loved them as you did, but your gardeners had been exceedingly... difficult over the course of the last month or so. Despite the spring months finally being upon you, the prime time to truly enjoy the garden and appreciate their hard work, you'd been banned from the space entirely.Â
Keep in mind, they were always bashful when it came to their work, and would sometimes not let you see their handiwork in the early days of spring since it wasn't 'complete' until all the flowers bloomed. This was different however, as you hadn't been barred from seeing the castle gardens just mere yards from your residence, nor the plants being tended to in the greenhouse.
No, it was specifically what they were working on in your gardenâthe walls far too high for you to peek over, unfortunatelyâwhere the source of your woes lied. Apparently. They were being incredibly secretive about the whole affair, going so far as to deny outright that you were banned from your own space.
Or in this case, making excuses.Â
"Ah, but the weather could change at any time. Surely you'd rather not take the risk and spend your time doing something else?"
You lean back on the kitchen counter. "Like?"
"Reading your book inside, of course." Moon nods, straightening and walking over to you. "Even better, you can read it to me, out on the parlor couch, perhaps. I could hold you, or better yet, you could hold me. I've a terrible crink in my neck that only resting in your lap can resolve I fear. What do you say?"
You tilt your chin up as he now stands in front of you, towering over you even when he sets his hands on the counter on either side of you. Not so subtly blocking you in.Â
You hum. "Don't you have work to do?"
"Sun can handle himself for a bit, and really I think I've more than earned a morning's rest." He leans down so your faces are only a few inches apart. "You wouldn't deny your poor Beloved a break, Star. Right?"
You huff, though the temptation to take him up on his offerâand moreâwas at an all time high. "Beloved is a bit of a stretch at the moment."
"Is it nowâ" Just as the gap was about to close between you, Moon is gone. He makes a strangled noise of surprise as he's yanked back by a half-gloved yellow hand.
Sun releases him after a moment, cheery as can be. "More than earned a morning's rest, hm? Last I recall you didn't spend six hours potting pansies without a break, did you?"
Moon grumbles, but doesn't retaliate further than that.Â
Before you can say anything, Sun turns to you, seeming to know what you were going to say. "The garden is off limits for the time being, Sunbeam. I might suggest the castle grounds for a good location instead. Once we've finished up here this morning I'd be happy to join you. I'll even bring lunch if you'd like." He finally finishes putting on his glove, adjusting his work apron.Â
"And just where do I fit into that scenario?" His counterpart asks, searching around for his own outerwear.
Sun's grin widens further, eyes upturned crescents. "Why, you'll be busy trimming the hedges that you've been putting off all week, of course."
"That all sounds lovely, though I do feel bad for Moon." You step closer to the sunny animatronic, arms coming up to wrap around his neck. "But I do have to press you on the reason for why I can't access part of my own home. Which you live in, mind you."
He sadly doesn't buy into your scheme, hand cupping your cheek as his rays click. "You'll find out soon enough. No need to go spoiling the surprise at this time. Go enjoy your morning, Love." He presses a kiss to your forehead and you scoff lightly, despite the heat rising to your cheeks.Â
"Fine. But no more putting mud on the windows, while I'm gone. Makes me feel like I'm living in a cave." You hadn't expected them to go to such lengths, though knowing them you weren't surprised either.Â
"No promises~"
Later on in the day you do in fact, enjoy a picnic with Sun, Moon nearby as he begrudgingly trims hedges. Though, another week goes by, and you still can't enter the garden. Not to mention, the flirty banter you typically so easily exchange has dropped to practically nothing.Â
Your advances are avoided, to the point you can hardly even get a goodnight or good morning kiss. Which, given that you were used to being overwhelmed with affection, being underwhelmed is, incredibly deflating. So, you decide to change your tactic.Â
You wait until one of them is alone, in this case Sun, to strike. While he may act very blunt and avoidant with Moon around, alone you think you can get him to slip up and finally tell you what they're up to.Â
You find him on a quiet rainy afternoon hard at work in the greenhouse. The rain pitter-patters softly against the glass far above, the space cast in a bit of shadow from the grey sky and plants that are all encompassing throughout.Â
He's at a workbench, tending to a group of sickly looking hydrangeas when you find him. He jumps a fraction when your arms wrap around him, head resting on his shoulder as you watch him work.Â
"Oh, hello, Starlight. What brings you here in these conditions?" Despite the evenness of his tone you can hear a tinge of anxiety underneath.Â
Your hands shift to slide across his arms, causing him to freeze at your touch. "Was curious about you. Wanted to make sure you were alright."
"Well, as you can see, I'm simply justâ" He hesitates as you turn to kiss one of his rays. "B-busy. Would hate for these hydrangeas to wither away because of a lack of care."
You chuckle, kissing him again. "I suppose so. What a pity." Just as he turns to face you, you pull back from him, moving to sit on the workbench instead.Â
"Something else you need, Sweetpea?" Sun chuckles nervously, you can see the smallest hint of steam arising from him.
You have to smother your smirk to keep your own composure. "Nope, just want to watch you work is all. Don't mind me."
"Ah, of course."
For several minutes there's nothing but muted clinking and such as Sun works, posture stiff as you keep your eyesâand handsâon him. Just simple little touches, traces patterns on his forearms or handing him things every so often. It only spurs you further as you notice your plan is working, the flustered avoidance you'd been experiencing is now just fluster, and you see your chance.Â
"You know. There is something else I'm thinking you could help with." You reach out and cup his chin. "If you're willing, that is."
You see his rays flutter just a tad. "That so?"Â
"Mhm. It'd be really easy for you to do too. And if you do, I might have something for you in return." You lean in, just hovering your lips above his smile.Â
He chuckles, eyes-lidded. "A trade then? I'm certainly not opposed."
"I was hoping you wouldn't be. Now, close your eyesâhey!" You're suddenly plucked off the bench and hauled over a shoulder by blue and white hands. Quickly marched away from a startled and utterly confused Sun, as you see when you glance back.Â
Moon sets you down by the door to the greenhouse, displeased grin on his features. "Dirty tricks like that belong in the garden, Moonflower."
"Well, I'm not allowed in the garden, so I had to resort to other locations." You huff, brushing off your clothes. "Was that really necessary?"
He bends to your level, eye to eye and inches apart. "It was."
"You're not on my kiss list now, I hope you know that."Â
Moon's hands cup your cheeks, faceplate spinning once. "What a shame then, that you're on mine."
He kisses you once, then steps back.Â
"Tomorrow, if the weather clears up, tomorrow you can go in the garden as you choose. I promise." His thumb rubs against your cheek, troubled look in his eyes before he shakes his head.Â
You keep your frown, despite the heat on your face, and nod. "Tomorrow, then."
You stomp out of the greenhouse and into the rain in the hopes of making it clear your resolve is temporary. In reality you think it just makes you cold, and wet.Â
But, the next morning the sun peeks through the clouds and after a brief and somewhat quiet breakfast, your gardeners finally relent.Â
While you're beaming with excitement, they both seem nervous as can be. You're so caught up in all the activities you wish to do that you're only half catching the anxious looks and fidgeted movements they share between each other.Â
Sun's hands are clasped in front of him as he speaks. "We're sorry it's taken so long, Love. We had several setbacksâ" He sends a glare to Moon, who shrugs. "But, we hope you like it."
"And if you don't, just keep it to yourself." Moon's hand rests on your shoulder with a snicker, though there's still that nervous hint to his tone.Â
You scoff at the two of them. "I always love what the two of you create. Regardless of whether it's for me or anyone else."Â
With a final sigh, Sun steps out of your way and you all but skip over to and out the door, the warm morning light hitting your skin like an embrace. The garden sparkles from the dew and the day prior's rain. All acrossâ
"Roses?" You ask, in awe at the sheer abundance of them.Â
Several varieties and colors cover the expanse of the garden, from the edges to the center. Every flower bed is filled to the brim with them. Yes, there's the typical flowers and bushes they plant as well, sprinkled in here and there. Primarily, however, are the roses.Â
You walk through the grass with a sense of curiosity at the scenery around you. It's breathtaking, but not the least bit suffocating. Brimming with life, but not crowded. It was, in a way, perfect.Â
Though, you don't understand why they tried so hard to hide this from you. Yes, it was stunning, but the secrecy you just couldn'tâ
As you turn around again, you see the two of them standing there, together, with a large bouquet in their hands. It consists of bright yellow and deep purpleânear blackâroses.Â
"These are for you, if you hadn't already guessed." Moon's gaze is elsewhere as he holds the flowers out with his counterpart.Â
Sun's rays are spinning quickly as you flick your gaze to him, he coughs and also looks away. "We, we hope it's to your taste. We got what we thought would suit you best."
You're too stunned to really think on the words. "Oh, these are, incredible." You say, gently taking the neatly wrapped bouquet from them. "For me, really? You didn't need toâ"
Inspecting the flowers closer, you realize that in the center of the cluster, there's something shimmering in the middle of a rose. This one is different from all the others. Its center is yellow, but the outer petals expand out into that deep violet, with speckles of contrast all throughout. Lying in the very center however, is a ring.Â
It clicks then for you.Â
"This needed to be special, to show how much you mean to us, hence all the preparation." Sun states.Â
Moon continues. "An ordinary flower wouldn't do you justice, nor would an ordinary proposal. The garden served as the best place to refine both."
You nod slowly, feeling a little more than just choked up.Â
"Is, are you, will youâ" Sun stops himself.Â
"Would you do these two humble fools the honor of having your hand?" Moon asks.Â
"Yes, that."
You nod again, quicker now, face on fire and tears pricking your eyes. "Yes, yes, absolutely yes!"
Before either can react you shift the bouquet so you can grab them both by their shirts, planting a kiss to each of their smiles several times.Â
Breathless, you pull back to hug them both. "I would have taken just a simple stroll by the lake, you didn't have to go through all this trouble just for me. But know I appreciate it more than anything. Thank you, I love you. So, so much."
Based on the clicks and whirls that emit from the two of them, and the bits of steam, you think they're as overwhelmed as you in that moment. Sun's lop-sided grin and Moon's half-lidded daze makes you chuckle.Â
"Duly noted." Sun states.Â
Moon nods. "Don't spend four years seeding, growing, and experimenting with roses next time. Understood."
"Four years?" Your brows shoot up. "But we met just roughly four years ago."
"We know. We started on this about a week in."
At this you shake your head, laughing outright. You give them another kiss, and revel in that moment.Â
It's going to be one you cherish for years to come.
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Thank you for the lovely request @amarynthian-chronicles!! I love how you always write the boys with a sense of whismy and charisma so I tried to channel that for this hehe ^^
Tag list (if you would like added, simply say so!):
@scarletcowboy @beemyhuneybee @fishm0ther @deviouscrackers @elsajoyagent8 @luckyyyduckyyy @zenkaiankoku @jogimote @local-shrub @milosmantis @robinette-green @everlightreader @sinister-sincerely @starredeclipse @dangerva @juukai @crystalmagpie447 @mothgutz236 @lizyxml @divinit3a @amarynthian-chronicles @crystalfay @that-one-unknown-artist @rosescarletful
#fnaf dca#dca fandom#fnaf sun#fnaf daycare attendant#sundrop#fnaf moon#dca fic#moondrop#x reader#mm dca valentine's#hope you're doing well amary <33#had much fun writing these two into situation oof#i was feeling#mischevious#hehe
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Andrew and...Andrew??? Yeahhh
So I decided to draw Andrew Harper and his very outdated design. To differentiate the both of them, I'll call his old design Drew for now (even though Andrew also goes by Drew sometimes too uhhh just forget about that XD)
It's hard to believe these are both the same person.
More yapping under the cut!
The reason I wanted to talk more about Andrew and his origins in the early versions of this AU is that yesterday marked the 1st anniversary of when I created him (February 1, 2024, to be specific is when I created his first concept art) Happy late birthday buddy!!
So for those who don't know, Andrew Harper was originally going to be evil in the earliest drafts of the fanfic. He was a vengeful creature with violent tendencies. He was honestly almost as bad as Joey himself. Which is wild to think of now that he's changed completely. Drew (as I'll call him to avoid confusion) was inspired originally by the once-popular theory of the ink demon being Joey Drew. Though BATDR clearly disproves this theory, I like the concept. I wanted a character who was like Joey but not actually him.
So then I remembered, "Hey, memory Joey exists!" and wondered how Joey managed to actually create memory Joey. Because I am not sure if he has a soul, or even truly what he is. He's stated to be a ghost or in his own words "A Memory." so I took this idea and was like "There had to be a prototype for Memory Joey." Thus Drew exists.
Joey to me comes across as the type of guy who wants to be immortal in his own creation. This lore is actually still very much canon to Andrew's backstory, but it was also the same backstory for Drew, though he had hardly any depth at this point.
Drew's backstory goes as follows; He was a sort of "Prototype of Memory Joey." A clone basically, but a very imperfect one. He was very similar to how Twisted Alice acts in many parts of the plot, wanting to become better than Joey Drew himself. He was very selfish and terrible overall. Not a chill dude.
When I was writing him in Charlie's section of the Creation and Calamity Fanfic, things shifted from Drew being evil to being just another victim of Joey's stupidity. Which is how Andrew Harper was born.
Andrew Harper was created in a similar way to Drew but I changed a bit of his backstory, providing him more of a personality than just "Angry Employee Who Got Screwed Over By Joey Drew" which was basically all he had to him. Andrew really started to grow on me while I wrote scenes with him in them. I got attached more to him being something other than an evil creature.
The whole thing about him being a clone of Joey is kind of less explicitly there in his current design. I like to believe it's because Joey is not smart and didn't realize it wasn't going to work.
Andrew himself actually doesn't really have many features of Joey at all, in fact, he's got more features from the Ink Demon than Joey. Kind of funny how that works. If I'm being fully honest I have no clue how the process of making someone into an ink clone of yourself works so this is really vague on purpose uhhhh yeah...
Andrew like Drew was also seen as a failure by Joey Drew, however, Andrew was mostly angry about the fact his identity was ripped from him. Drew was angry because he wasn't perfect.
I prefer Andrew over Drew. Andrew is more tragic than just evil because, idk he's angry or whatever Drew had going on.
For those who actually have no clue about Andrew Harper and have not understood a thing about this post, that's okay. I can try to summarize his current lore for you (Without going into too much detail cause his prequel will do that)
Andrew Harper is my oc and a major character in the fanfic for this AU. Andrew was an animator at the studio and a cartoonist. He was a hard worker, got things done on time, overall a good guy. He met his future wife Delilah after she was hired as an animator at the studio as well and took the vacant seat beside him.
The two of them got along well and Andrew clearly was very terrible at hiding that he had a crush on Delilah. Delilah and him both got married on May 6th, 1936 and got the date engraved in their wedding rings (THIS IS AN IMPORTANT DETAIL.)
As the studio starts going downhill and the checks don't seem to come in on time anymore, Andrew gets asked by Joey Drew for a deal of sorts. Andrew is reluctant but agrees, confused as to why Joey would pick him. There wasn't really any reason for him to be chosen, Joey just sucks.
Without going into far too much detail, the next thing Andrew knows is that he's become an ink creature. He is deemed as a failure by Joey who locks him in a room for the time being.
One day Andrew hears Delilah asking Joey about her missing husband and Andrew is unable to leave the room to tell her he's still alive. Joey lies to Delilah and basically just tells her Andrew is dead (he just says he's not sure but essentially Delilah takes it as he's dead for good)
Somewhere down the line, Andrew breaks out of the rooms Joey keeps trying to put him in, and he runs off into the studio, finding his way into The Cycle. There he struggles to remember who he once was.
The majority of his prequel story I will one day write will explore what he does during this time along with how he and Delilah met and all that.
During the main events of the fanfic he serves as a friend to Sammy and Charlie and helps them escape Twisted Alice and ends up remembering his past a bit more as time goes on.
He later on reunites with Delilah who is now a Lost One and they, after the events of Wilson taking over the cycle, take over what remains of Sammy's cult of followers. (THE LOST ONE SUPPORT GROUP is what it basically is now lol)
But yeah that's him. The silly guy. Feel free to ask questions about him lol. I don't mind. I am horrible at explaining things sometimes so I hope this was clear enough.
I have no idea what this post is but I'm giving it a new tag probably "From the Archives" will be the tag. All oc yapping posts are going to be tagged this from now on.
#batim au#batim oc#drawn to darkness#From the Archives#my art#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#andrew harper#long post
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I don't have an insta đ
I do have to respect that honestly.
#instagram is one of the worse social media apps i use it only to post my own photography and scroll on my fyp which is well curated somehow#btw if youâre trying to date dont communicate on instagram#exchange numbers. keep that boundary and keep it sacred#dont let whoever ur trying to date see your social media presence#even worse if their dms are on silent who tf are you and whose dms are you trying to avoid?surely not mine#how are you going to set up a date with me when your insta DMs are on silent. you havent responded to me and its been 6 hours the day of!!!#how is it 3 pm and its your day off and we were supposed to have a date but youre acting like youre beyoncĂ© omg text me the fuck back#plus you havenât texted me two whole days#and im mad about it cause thatâs a very attractive long haired peruvian man i mean wow! fuck this#had to block cause even if there wasnât any commitment im not letting myself be disrespected the fuck#anyway if a man asks for your Snapchat specifically he is a serial killer and he will murder you OR he is twenty years old or younger#if a man asks for your TikTok he thinks youre in high school. we all are too classy for TikTok#TikTok is the temu of apps just trashy altogether. you open and thereâs aliexpress-reminiscent adsâŠewâŠIâve only posted a few times#but every time i open the app i feel like Iâll catch lice it just feels unclean#we talk about twitter and how ass it is to use which is fair but tiktok is worse i meanâŠUI nightmare#a man that uses TikTok is off the deep end you canât save him#heâs frying up his attention span. meaning he wont be able to focus on you as he should because you are a queen#instead heâll think about skibidi toilet or some shit does anyone know what that is?i dont#imagine kissing a man having no idea he has that fucking âoh no oh no oh nononoâ audio stuck in his head#a man should read a book and even then that should be fucking controlled#im reading Freud right now and its torture. tbf it does happen to be sexuality theories#girl its fucking gross#academia is cooked cause in what world do i get creds for reading the most wack books in the history of ever?#Iâve read 11 books and half of them were boring#this Freud included and its repulsive to read and not even true.#why is it 2024 and im still being taught untrue info just cause old man from old times wrote it#i could clear freud. he literally was a cokehead#in the end heâs a man like the rest of them and if you show him TikTok his brain cells will be cooked#so who won?
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Show me where it hurts (part 1)
Miguel O'Hara x spiderwoman!reader
(AO3 Mirror), Part 2, Main Masterlist
summary: Miguel's acting weird, and you make it your mission to find out exactly what's going on.
warnings: no warnings for this chap, pg-13, swearing and canon level violence. smut next chapter xoxo
a/n: this is a combination of 2 asks and this post I saw on here a while ago: flirty/ snarky fem reader, Miguel during a ""rut"" (I don't know if it counts as a rut really, but its to do with his animal instincts/DNA) and Lyla playing matchmaker. I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D
(i wrote this pre seeing spiderverse 2, so i think characterisation is a little off, esp for Lyla, apologies! I'll fix it in my upcoming fics)
edit: I use the term "bichita" which I have been informed can be read not as I intended in Spanish. I'm not a native speaker so I want to apologise in advance. I'm doing more research for my future fics and leaving this up as a testament to my stupidity. Spanish speakers, feel free to correct me / clown my ass in the comments. My bad guys :(
wc: 3.6k
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You think Miguel is avoiding you.Â
One of your closest friends, giving you the runaround for months, it seems. Calling the two of you close friends is a little extreme, sure. You've only known O'Hara for two years, and been in love with him for slightly less than that, thank you very much. And yes, he refuses to call you by anything but your last name. And the last time you saw him he wouldn't so much as look at you, but that was besides the point.Â
"..the point," You tell Lyla, in between exasperated bites of cereal, "... is that aren't elite forces of spiderpeople supposed to, you know, have some spiderpeople kick ass once in a while? And where exactly is our fearless leader? I haven't seen O'Hara's scary ass in weeks, and I'm starting to miss it."
She gives you a look, one that says this isn't what I'm programmed for , but you pointedly ignore it.Â
"His ass, by the way." You clarify. "I very specifically miss his ass. Remind me to get his routine. I know girls that would kill forâŠ"
"How the fuck did you get in here?" A voice croaks. You turn behind you and see Miguel, not in his suit, but wrapped up in a blanket like he's just woken up. And he looks rough, like a train ran him over on the way here: puffy eyes, splotchy skin, tension kneaded into his brow.Â
"Wow." Your spoon drops into the milk. "You look like shit.."Â
He furrows his brow even deeper, if that was possible. " Mierda. You shouldn't be here."Â
"This isn't quite the welcome party I was expecting, man. I'm the only one to actually turn up to one of your meetings, and this is what I get?"Â
"I thought I told Lyla to cancel," He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.Â
"Cancel? Since when do you miss a chance to talk about rules and protocol?"Â
"I don't have time for this-"Â
"-and I'm not leaving without a proper explanation. Is everything okay?"Â
"It's actually way worse now you're here." He deadpans.Â
"Haha ." You turn to Lyla. "You drop everything to travel halfway across the multiverse and this asshole won't even say thanks."Â
"Thanks, but this asshole needs you to leave. Now."Â
This is the most he's spoken to you in forever, and you hate that you like it. You just want his attention, however it comes. If that means dragging this out so maybe he acknowledges you, touches you, looks at you - then so be it. Squinting, you get closer to him. You scan his face for anything to latch onto. You put a hand on his shoulder, still searching.Â
"You sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if-"Â
"Si, si." He grits his teeth, looking away. "M'just fine. I'll explainâŠ. later."
"...because I'm your right hand man?" You grin, poking at his brow. "Stop frowning so much Miguel, you're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."
He flushes, nervous, and swats you away. "-what? N-No. You're not my right hand man and I like my face just the way it is. Now, leave. "
Making your way to the door, you tap your nose teasingly. "You know where to find me!"Â
When the door closes with a click, you make your way down the corridor, and stop in your tracks when you hear it. It's muffled, but with the strain of your supersenses you can make out Miguel's voice just beyond the wall.Â
"I justâŠ. don't want her to see me like this⊠Lyla, it's not happening⊠I can't tell herâŠ." Tell her what, exactly?Â
Resolutely, you make up your mind. Miguel O'Hara's got a secret. And before you leave for home, you're gonna do everything in your God given power to wear him down and find out.Â
~~~
Despite his insistence otherwise, you liked to think of yourself as O'Hara's right hand man - and most of the other spiderpeople thought so too. You were one of the very first he recruited, after crash landing onto your earth like a spiderman-shaped meteor; the two of you were inseparable. Miguel was stubborn and headstrong and thought he was right all the time. Infuriatingly, he was, but that didn't stop you from telling him to get his head out of his own ass when his ego grew too big.Â
He was different around you, you think. Softer, sometimes. Harsher, other times. He told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to or not; the result of mutual respect and agonising persistence. Slowly, you had chipped away his hard exterior; the one he built because he thought he needed to push people away. In that regard, you were similar, but this need manifested in you like a weed - an awful, awful compulsion to joke and laugh at your own expense, to keep others at an arm's length. You had spent your whole life picking and pruning away at yourself, looking for perfection. Even after all this, multiverse-hopping and fighting alongside people who were the closest things you had to friends , it wasn't enough. There was still something missing.Â
Ironically, Miguel had told you something similar the one of the last times you had spoken. You had fucked up a mission, well and truly. In the aftermath, all you can remember is coming back to base, limping on Jessica's arm.Â
"She's hurt!" She cries out. Lyla materialises and leads you both to the med bay, inspecting any visible wounds. There's a deep laceration, sticky with blood, at the base of your stomach. You shift onto the bed and hiss with pain.Â
Miguel is quick to follow, face twisted with confusion, pain, sadness. Even in your haze, you feel the tension radiating off of him as he drags over a cart of supplies.Â
"What happened?" He strains.Â
"I don't even⊠it happened so fast. We got ambushed, and all of a sudden I'm on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight and⊠" She sobs. "...she jumped in front of me. God, she saved my life-"Â
"-wasn't your fault, Jess." You croak, trying to sit up. "And I'm fine. Just need to walk it offâŠ"
"Sit, bichita," His nickname makes you frown, despite yourself, and you settle back down. "Lyla, what's the damage?"
Your vision goes spotty, and Lyla's voice barely registers. All you can feel is searing pain in your side, but Miguel is warm, oh so warm. You clutch his arms, and force him to look you in the eye.Â
"M'ready, Miguel." He nods weakly, but you don't think he understands. "I mean it . I can lead, j-just need another chance and I won't let you down⊠Jess, tell him that I can-"Â
"It's okay. I believe you. You just need to relax for me, hmm?" He clutches at your hand, tight, and it's like you're the only two people in the world. "You did good. I promise."
Faintly, you nod. You feel a pinch at your arm, and Jessica's there, with an empty vial of something in her hands. The pain washes over you, and you fight to keep your eyes open. In those last few moments of light, you swear you feel a shaky kiss pressed to your temple.Â
"Sleep, mi bichito amoroso. Sleep."
When you come to, you're still in the medbay, moonlight streaming through. Well, artificial moonlight. Time worked a little differently here, something Miguel explained to you a while ago - God knows what about dilation and quantum interference. It makes you smile now, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain to no avail. You were the only spiderman this side of the multiverse without a degree in quantum tech, you had said with a lopsided smile.Â
You move to sit, and pain shoots up your side. Groaning, you push through it, determined to get out of this bed and find the others. As if on cue, Miguel walks in, almost leaping towards you.Â
"You should⊠mierda ! You should be resting in bed."
You pout as you stumble into his chest. He hooks an arm around you and leads you back. You clamber in, sighing. "M'fine, O'Hara."
"Your guts were halfway out of your body less than 24 hours ago. So stay put, or you might give me another heart attack."
You scoff, incredulous. "You were worried?"Â
He shrugs. " 'Course I was."
"Why? You know I'm practically indestructible." You give him a shit eating grin, and poke the frown appearing at his brow. He doesn't bat you away like he usually does.Â
"Famous last words, bichita." He sighs. You can't speak a lick of Spanish, but you know he only calls you that word when you've frustrated him to his limit. So you take it as a win, for now.Â
He drops into the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?"Â
"Just peachy, dollface." You wink, and he doesn't so much as groan.Â
"I'm being serious. You went through something pretty traumaticâŠ"
"You want me to tell you it hurts, so, so bad, daddy? " You pout and flutter your eyelashes mockingly. Miguel shifts in his seat, unable to make eye contact.Â
"That's not what I meant."
"What did you mean, O'Hara? I feel fine. And in a couple of days, I'll feel even better, and I'll be up and about. I can finish what we started and-"Â
"-no, absolutely not." He frowns. "A couple of days? I'm sending you home-"Â
"You can't do that! On whose fucking authority?"
"On the authority of you almost fucking died ! Keeping you safe is our priority right now-"Â
"God, is this my punishment? This is a low blow, O'Hara. You know how hard I've worked for this: months of surveillance and intel a-and I did everything by the book, just like you told me to." You croak. "I fucked up . I know that, and I feel terrible. Give me a chance to make things right; that's all I'm asking. I can do it, I know it. "
He looks at you for a moment, something heavy in his expression. His face contorted, he strips you down to the bone with just his gaze. His voice is so quiet, you almost miss it.Â
"....you're still trying to prove yourself, aren't you?"
Honestly, it catches you off guard. You don't even know what the fuck that means, let alone why he said it.
"I don't⊠I d-don'tâŠ?"Â
"They all love you. Respect you. More than me I think, sometimes." He chuckles at that. "You're good at what you do. The best . What else are you trying to prove? What else do you need ?"Â
Your throat goes dry. You couldn't speak if you wanted to.Â
"I'm not punishing you. You made a mistake, but you don't need to be crucified for it. I just want to keep you safe. I can't⊠we can't lose you."
"Miguel-"
"-this isn't a discussion. And I'm not trying to argue, although I know how much you like to argue." He inches closer, cupping your face gently. You try to move away, blinking back tears. But his hands are steady and he strokes your jaw with so much tenderness you think you hear your heart break. He's pretty, so pretty. You don't deserve him, you think. "There'll be time to fight, bichita. Rest. That's your mission right now."
"C-can't sleep." You breathe. "It hurts."Â
Miguel pauses, head tilted like he's thinking. He taps your shoulder. "Scoot over."
You do as he says, and he slips into the bed with you. It's a tight fit, but he manages, placing you on his chest with an arm gently around your shoulders. You bury your face in his hoodie, sniffling and hoping he doesn't notice you choking back sobs. Absentmindedly, he settles into a rhythm, gentle breathing and playing with your hair, soothing you softly. He pretends he can't hear the tears.Â
"M'gonna stay here until you're asleep. For as long as you need."
You nod, unable to speak for fear of breaking down.Â
~~~
The days after felt like a blur. You woke up to Miguel gone, and an ache in your heart. Jess visits as much as she can, and Ben calls you a couple times, to see if you're okay. Peter B brings Mayday, and she clambers all over your bed, bringing some life into the room. Miguel doesn't visit per se - you hear whispers of him, Lyla visiting in his stead for comprehensive status updates. Once, you wake up in the night to see him on the adjacent chair, head lolling in deep sleep. He looks peaceful, calm - one of the first times you haven't seen his brow furrowed with worry. Of course, he's gone by the morning.Â
The very last time you saw him, he opened the portal home. It was weird, after everything, but if Miguel felt the same you wouldn't know. Talking at a thousand miles a minute, he alternates between assuring you they'll be fine without you and situation reports from spider people all across the multiverse. Things you'd missed whilst bedbound, asking for advice before you left. He trusted your judgement and the thought warmed your heart, almost making you forget that he completely brushed past the previous nights before.Â
You still remember the last thing he had said to you, which would've been weeks ago, now.Â
"...and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me directly. Not Jess, not Ben, and certainly not Peter B. Call me, and I'll answer, I promise. You need help, you need advice, you just need someone to talk to, then-"
"-I call you. I get it, O'Hara. Will do." He opens the portal, watching as you walk towards it. He can't take his eyes off of you, even though you can't see him. At the last moment you turn, and run towards him. You almost knock him over with a hug. Burying his head in the crook of your shoulder, he hugs you back, ever careful of your injury. Separating, your smile almost knocks him over again. Weakly, he smiles back as you head through the portal, back home.Â
You're left with that feeling, of his arms around your body - warm, so warm - as you putter about by the switchboard. After careful deliberation (you were really, really bored ) you'd taken to manage the Multi Modal Multiversal Switchboard - as aptly named by Miguel. Everyone else called it the Big Red Phone of course, but he had insisted on calling it by its proper name . Every. Time.Â
The thought makes you chuckle as you call up Peter B. His icon flashes on the screen in front of you. With a click, he picks up the call, his face materialising holographically in front you. A little hand reaches up and tugs at his ear.Â
"Ow⊠ouch ⊠Dad's on the phone, honey."
"Aww! How's my favourite Parker doing?"Â
"Not bad, actually! MJ just made us probably the best burger this side of New York-"
"-sorry, Peter? Me and May are trying to have a conversation." You hear her giggle in the background. Her gap toothed grin pops into frame and she babbles excitedly. "...yeah, exactly May. That's literally what I said."
"Okay, okay, that's enough." He puts the toddler down and watches her scurry away. "You're feeling better, I see."
"Yeah, back in action. Thought I'd check in."
"All good here." He squints, trying to take in your surroundings. "You're at HQ?"Â
You hum.
"Could've sworn Lyla cancelledâŠ"
"Yeah, didn't get the memo. But I think something's wrong with O'Hara."
He gives you a weird look. "Uhhh, what makes you think that?"Â
"He won't even look at me. Was it something I said? Something I did?" Your eyes narrow. "...what do you know, Peter?"
"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He scoffs, a little too quickly, clutching his chest like you've offended him. He's stared down some of the scariest villains around, but the look you give him is truly chilling. "Just⊠uhhh. You didn't hear this from me."Â
"NaturallyâŠ"
"We tracked 'em down, the guys that ambushed you and Jessica."
"The Sinister Six? From Earth-215?"
"Yeah, but by the time we got there, it was just Kraven and some of his goons. Miguel got there first, andâŠ." He gulps. "He was pissed. Trashed the whole place looking for the rest of 'em. Beat Kraven half to death and we had to pull him off."
"Shit."
"Yeah, it was pretty rough. Never seen him like that before. And just generally? He'd been weirdly quiet, a little grumpy, more aggressive on missions. I don't know what's gotten into him."
"Hmmm. Thanks, Pete."
"No problem, sweetheart. And if the big guy asks⊠"
"...this didn't come from you, I know." Weakly, you smile. "Say hi to my favourite Parkers, for me."Â
" 'Course I will. We should celebrate, if you're back officially. Mine and MJ's is always open."
"Good to know. I'll see you around."
He waves goodbye, and the hologram clicks off. Sighing, you try to piece together what you've just heard.Â
Miguel: acting weird. Well, you knew that already. Aggressive was new. And Lyla? She had canceled, but not for you, for some reason. An honest mistake, perhaps. But Lyla doesn't make mistakesâŠÂ
You stew for a couple of hours, puttering about the switchboard, twiddling your thumbs. Something's wrong, and for some reason you're afraid to see him. To have him look straight through you, again, when you ask to do the same. Show me where it hurts. Tell me how to make it better. Â
On the way there, you chew your lip in anticipation. In the corridor, you're outside the door to his place, hand hovering above the door. To knock, to call. In the harsh fluorescent light, you hesitate.Â
"Lyla?" Nervously, you sink down onto the floor. It's hard to explain, but you don't expect her to actually come; to materialise in front of you.Â
"How can I assist you?" She says with a ding.Â
"Uhh⊠hi. Just wanted to talk." You pause, clicking your tongue. "Can you be honest with me?"Â
"I can only be honest with you. It is not in my programming to lie, unless specified by my owner."
"Sure. Cool. It's about him, actually. Is Miguel okay?"Â
She tilts her head, as if processing your request. "Okay is a subjective term. Is Mr O'Hara alive? Yes. Is Mr O'Hara physically well? Yes. By those terms, he is okay ."
Too vague for your own liking. "I guess I meant more⊠his emotional state. To the best of your knowledge⊠in your opinion , Lyla: is Miguel okay?"Â
"...I believe Mr O'Hara is experiencing some emotional turmoil."
You frown. "Oh. Do you know why?"Â
"Mr O'Hara has instructed me not to disclose that information with you."
"Fair enough. But you don't have to tell me⊠I could just ask questions?"Â
She nods. "There is nothing in my programming that prevents me from answering some questions within certain parameters."Â
"Did I do something? Not just today but⊠last time I was here. Did I say something to hurt or upset him? Is that why he's acting weird?"
"No." She says blankly. "And yes. I suppose it is⊠complicated." She gestures around that word.Â
"I'm a little confused, Lyla."
She sits next to you, on the cool tile. Not that she could feel it, but it feels more intimate - like two friends talking. The extent of Lyla's consciousness, you weren't sure of. Was she alive? To you, she might as well be. Could she think, feel, emote? Maybe, maybe not. You weren't smart enough to understand the nuances of her programming. But you were human enough to see it in her - something glittering beyond the surface.Â
It could be projection, but you swear her voice is softer. "He has a name for you. When he speaks about you, and to you. I have it logged in my memory database. Do you know what that is?" You shake your head.Â
Lyla opens up her palm and projects videos and images - little Miguel's popping up in her palm, tinny and gruff voices ringing through the hallway. They say your name, shout your name, whisper it. Some say other things in Spanish. Curse words had always been your assumption, and he had given you no reason to think otherwise. Now, having it played back to you, you hear a tenderness in his voice you would've missed. Words and phrases that come up again and againâŠ
"Bichita." She repeats. "Bichito del amor. Mi bichito amoroso. "
You shake your head, still confounded. "...I don't speak Spanish, Lyla."Â
"Little bug. Sweetheart. Lovebug. My little lovebug." She clears her throat. "I believe they are terms of endearment."
Steadfast, she directs you towards her palm. Another small Miguel appears, and you think it's him from this morning.Â
"I thought I told you not to let anyone in, Lyla?"Â
"I did not let her in. She let herself in using the code you previously gave her, Mr O'Hara."
"Yeah, for emergencies. Fuck. Mi bichita, too smart for her own good."
"...If you are in distress, I believe she would understand, Mr O'Hara."
"I just think it's too much. I don't want her to see me like this."Â
"According to Alchemax files, previous subjects showing this kind of aggression benefitted from-"
"Lyla, it's not happening, no chance. I can't tell her."
The figure blinks out of her palm. "Mr O'Hara has forbid me from telling you about certain things."
"...but not from showing me." Your eyes meet hers. You give her a watery smile. "Thank you."Â
With a hint of a smile, she nods and is gone from the corridor. You are left alone, with nothing but your thoughts of little lovebugs rattling around in your brain.
_
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#miguel o hara x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#spiderman 2099 x reader#across the spiderverse#kat_writesđŒ#this gif is fucking crazy btw
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which deception would have an sti AND fuck cars?
in reference to: https://www.tumblr.com/penny-anna/767952128217104384/imagine-youre-a-mechanic-in-the-transformers?source=share
okay. so. first off. anon, thank you for sending me this because the idea that you read that post and just went- "hey, you know who i should pose this question to?" and sent it to me- is hysterical and i lvoe u.
anyway theres also a Texty answer under the cut if you want to read that, because i genuinely DO have thoughts about this, but i wanted to draw that comic because this ask made me laugh very hard when i saw it in my inbox.
also, the thrilling conclusion of the comic answer:
he fucked that car!!!!!!!
hi! Texty time. I think a lot of them would have/be one but not the other (either has a STI or is a Carfucker) but i included some of those here anyway because i think my thought process was funny for some of them. this is all purely my own opinions etc. etc. no basis for anything only vibes. i went through a lot of options and came to a lot of conclusions.
to reiterate the Chart for claritys sake:
Soundwave: No STI and no Carfucking. This is true across all versions of Soundwave imo. Rumble and Frenzy are a solid no on the STI front and a solid yes on the Carfucking.
Starscream: no STI, no Carfucking (despite what Soundwave thinks). TFP!Starscream specifically might have an STI though. Sorry man. Skywarp definitely has/had a STI but gets it treated on account of his trinemates. No Carfucking. Thundercracker would fuck a car but doesn't have an STI.
Shockwave: ??? - I'm not sure I want to know. "Once, as part of an experiment" was the original thing I wrote for his answer lol. True across continuities as well.
Anyway. moving on...
My actual answer for Megatron: REALLY depends on continuity. Here's a sample:
G1? Yeah, probably both. I can see it.
IDW/MTMTE? Nah. Maybe? ... Nah. I feel like if he had an STI it'd have been back when he was a miner. Would not fuck a car.
Earthspark? I feel like no STI but yes to the Carfucking. Except he feels really guilty about it after. I still haven't watched ES but this is the impression I get from him.
TFA? oh god. i don't know... i don't know....... he probably fucks cars. No STI.
TFP? Yeah absolutely are u kidding me? Yes to both.
Constructicons: I feel like they'd be a yes to both, but not at the same time, so they wouldn't have been the one/s to transmit a STI to a car. Also Hook would be ON TOP of treatment. Once they ALL got infected after combining into Devastator, and that was miserable for everyone. Nobody has fessed up to being the one who had it in the first place, but now they have treatment on hand just in case.
Also while on the topic of combiners... I think some of the Stunticons are also pretty good candidates for STI/Carfucking. Motormaster, Drag Strip and Wildrider in particular shfkgbekfbk
I considered Tarn/The DJD and Overlord just because of how freaky them guys can get, but I think Tarn runs too tight a ship for that to happen, and Overlord is preoccupied with. worse things. The Scavengers on the other hand... sorry to Misfire, I can see him giving a car a STI. Relatedly, Grimlock would fuck a car but not have an STI.
Who else................................ wait.
Astrotrain. I can see it. Okay bye im going to sleep this took me too long to reply to fhfjfbrmfbdj
#inbox#anon#velwy.txt#transformers#macaddam#good lord.#sighs.#i had other things i wanted to draw today but alas. this is my life now (no regrets)#also honorary mention to Knock Out because hes got the Vibes but i think he'd value his finish too much. if he hsd an STI he'd treat it-#-immediately and not pass it to anyone (or anything)#ADDITIONALLY. depending on continuity i can absolutely see some of the autobots getting an sti and fucking a car but listen that wasnt the-#-question and i already talked too much#sti saga
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newly creds | S.R.
in which the BAU team wants to see your newly issued credentials
who? spencer reid x fem!BAU!reader
category: fluff
content warnings: marriage. changing your name. slightly suggestive at the end but nothing explicit.
word count: 498
a/n: first and foremost, thank you so much for 100 followers AND for almost 3k likes i am so astounded by this im just so grateful. i absolutely wrote this while i was supposed to be doing privacy law homework. very proud of the title too. also today is my birthday so legally you have to like and reblog this!!! please enjoy <3
âSo, letâs see it,â Derek prodded as he leaned over your desk, obviously searching the surface of it for something.
You peered up at him, âCan I help you?â
Before he could properly answer you, Emily entered the bullpen. Her eyes found you and she hastily piled her things on her desk before joining Morgan next to yours. âDo you have it?â She asked, dark hair shining as she inspected your desk.
Obviously, you had missed some sort of memo about whatever âitâ is. âI have uh, half of a bagel?â You offered helplessly, gesturing to your unfinished breakfast that was waiting patiently for you on top of a napkin.
âY/N!â Penelope called your name from the glass doors she was rushing through, âDid I miss it? I want to see!â
Spencer rounded the corner of your desk, slowly placing a mug of fresh coffee on your desk, next to your abandoned bagel. âWhatâs going on?â He asked, carefully bringing his cup of coffee to his mouth to take a sip.
You shrugged, âThey all want to see something but wonât tell me what âitâ is.â You grumbled, holding out your left hand, âIs this it?â The whole team had seen your ring already, Emily, Penelope, and JJ had even helped Spencer pick it out. You wondered if maybe they all wanted to see the engagement ring with your wedding band.
âY/N,â another voice called, you resisted the urge to bury your face in your hands as you turned to face JJ. âDid you get the envelope that was on your desk? It got delivered to me by mistake, but I kept it safe while you two were honeymooning.â
Your lips parted, âOh!â Quickly, you realized what everyone was pestering you about. You and Spencer had just gotten back from your weeklong honeymoon. The both of you got to work first, just to find a package on your desk. Rolling your chair back slightly, you rolled your eyes, âYou know, you all couldâve just said something.â
You reached into your desk drawer and pulled out your credentials before unclipping your badge from your belt loop. Handing your creds to Derek and your badge to Garcia, who squealed in excitement, you couldnât help but smile at Spencer. âSSA Y/N Reid,â Derek said, sounding like a proud parent.
Spencer placed a hand on your shoulder, and you beamed, âI wasnât expecting them so quickly, I donât even have my new driverâs license yet.â
âDoes this mean youâre both going to answer to Reid now?â Emily asked, smiling at the prospect of confusion.
Shaking your head, you took your badge back, âNot unless itâs a prank. Hotch actually specifically asked us not to do that.â
âWelcome back,â Rossi said, walking into the bullpen and passing your desk. âI sure hope the two of you had the same kind of fun I did on my third honeymoon,â he teased, winking as he continued up to his office.
Spencer choked on his coffee.
#spencer reid#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#emily prentiss#penelope garcia#jennifer jareau#david rossi#criminal minds fluff#spencer reid fluff#written by margot
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I just had a thought- how would Grim and the ramshackle ghosts feel about all the stuff happening to us?
Especially if the yandere(s) are coming over to our dorm too! Would they, depending on the severity of the yandere and their specific actions, range from supporting it cuz yknow reader gets to be happy with someone who treats them well and loves them to concerned because sweetie please get yourself outta there đ
I can imagine Grim is NOT alright with it and for a multitude of reasons, they are taking away your time with HIM, and once he pays more attention to the bigger picture? Yeah messed up things be occasionally happening that could very well hurt you!! He does not like that!!!
im just imagining Grim being visibly not alright and reader will not have it either when it comes to him, they are a PACKAGE deal and that is that no matter which yandere comes their way đŁïž
we have many people more alright with Grim being readerâs number one priority, or yknow silently(?) wishing it was them, poor Grim and Reader man encountering yandere after yandere đ
Grim would give us a look if we expressed any sort of romantic interest in any yandere I think lol
âPologies if it was too long or ranty, though I am curious who you think would be the most and least alright with this? I imagine Leona and Ace (legally required to bring up Ace heâs my all time fav next to Grim) would NOT like it lmao
.. first off, this is the longest ask ive ever gotten, I gotta just say oml thank you so much????? You, wrote all of this, fpr me?? đ„čđ„čđ„čđđđ this literally made my week thank you so much bestie đ„čđ second off, this inspired me to rant too, I hope you enjoy!- (not proofread btw)
So im mainly gonna focus on grim, no offence to ramshackle ghost fans, I just really like the silly little fire-cat/rat/weasel/creature. He was literally our first friend, our first companion (I bet Ace and grim bicker on who was your first).
And oh boy, guy is NOT HAPPY when he sees all these dumbasses vying for your attention and either trying to butter him up with tuna (which will not work on the mighty grim!) or ugnore him completely! Like you stated you and him are a package deal! Get the prefect and get their silly hungry companion!!
Now, grim surely uses his position as your closest companion as a safety net, they can't kill off the closest you have to family in this world! Guess they gotta live with him if they wanna have a life with you.
Ace hates that grim was your friend before him, feeling annoyed whenever he bullied (Juice) Deuce about being friends with you before him only for grim to butt in. Ace isn't too annoyed with grim though, and grim thinks that Ace is one of the better choises of the roster you have, they're both friends after all.
Of course most students in the cast don't liek "sharing" you with grim, especially the more territorial ones. Leona is probably the worst, I mean come on they're both feline looking creatures. With scent being a heavy thing for felines (yes even beastmen dont come at me) Leona is not happy to have his scent on you be muddied by the little rodent (the greatest mage of all, grim). Probably the worst choise since they're just gonna bicker to the end of the world..
Floyd doesn't like this either! Not fair that he has to share!! And with grim no less.. Floyd results in biting you instead of scenting, his chompers being good for nibbling on you. He also has the advantage that grim is sorta afraid of him (honestly who wouldn't be? Especially yan Floyd...).
Kalim tries to brime grim, with anything he could ever think off! Unlimited tuna for grim, and the best there is as well!! Nything grim could ever want on a silver platter, only if grim let's kalim marry you! That alone doesn't sound too bad, but that unsettling horrifying servant that follows Kalim around. He knows what jamil can do, and he sure does NOT want you with that dude!- guy is manipulative and creepy (he would definelty seperate you and grim!-)
Malleus... Malleus scares grim, guys is honestly horrifying. Threatening to curse him into an eternal slumber so he can whisk you away from him, he doesn't want that! You would also get sad id malleus did that, so luckily the possessive dragon had to share (for now...)
Whoever you choose, grim would probably disapprove, guy thinks of you as family (he will never admit that tho). He cares about you, and he is not okay with the invasion of privacy from these teenagers! >:(
I know you didn't ask fpr any drawing or such, but I couldn't help myself sorry đ€ hope you like my ramblings back at you!
#yandere twst#yandere twisted wonderland#yandere twst art#yandere twisted wonderland art#yandere ace#yandere ace trappola#yandere leona#yandere leona kingscholar#yandere floyd#yandere floyd leech#yandere kalim#yandere kalim al asim#yandere jamil#yandere jamil viper#yandere malleus#yandere malleus draconia#grim being a silly guy#i love grim sm best dude in twst fr
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đ
seungcheol x fanbase!reader. (2)
the one where seungcheol gets all most of his svt news from your no-nonsense fanbase. previous chapter. headcanons under the cut. †see also: svt burner accounts series
SVT đŁđ„đ„ đą 13 members active.
S.COUPS đ Dinner on me tonight 8PM. Don't be late
uji Ï(>âż<.) ?? Not complaining, but to what do we owe the pleasure
đž eisa đž Can we get meat pleaseee
Jeonghan! cheollie is happy today hohoho~ his little crush wants one chance with him~ âĄ
KMG đ„ oh??? đ is this the fansite
S.COUPS đ Fanbase Not fansite There's a difference ><
Jeonghan! of course there is hehe~
S.COUPS đ Do you guys want dinner or not?
soonyoung .à° ââżâ à° ON MY WAY
sound_of_coups âą 17m â« Ben&Ben - Lifetime
sound_of_coups i'd spend a lifetime waiting đšïž Liked by pledis_boos, vernonline, and 1,932,049 others View all 2,109 comments
jeonghaniyoo_n :-) sound_of_coups :--) ashtruther Stay warm, Cheollie!!!~ benandbenmusic đČ Thank you for listening to us! scoups4lyf those cheeks đ€ raaah yourusername â€ïž
This Could Be It (English Translation) Genius English Translations âą Track 3 on S.COUPS - CHERRY ON TOP
Please tread lightly Step inside the garden of my mind Please speak kindly Tragedy and I are intertwined But I can paint the sky with colors Of my misery (hmm) If you come closer, you can read it In my history (hmm)
Please go slowly Gentle is the water in my veins But I would be careful not to Bother creatures lurking just the same âCause once I feel the tide as it rises My boat capsizes
And every minute passing Could bĐ” time that I am spending Talking to you on the phonĐ” Itâs been too long since I have been alone And I am hoping That this could grow into something But who am I to know how you define a home? Oh I donât know you yet But this could be it
Please be warned, oh Iâm a bit straightforward when I sing And I have the tendency to Get obsessed with every little thing âCause once I have a grain of thought That Iâve planted It blooms in my head
And every minute passing Could be time that I am spending Talking to you on the phone Itâs been too long since I have been alone And I am hoping That this could grow into something But who am I to know how you define a home? Oh I donât know you yet But this could be it
âCause once I feel the tide I drown, I fight the current Pulling me down I overflow and I try to hide it
Now am I too much for you Way too damn much for you? No such thing as too much So you better take it or leave it But this could be it This could be it Oh this could be it
Who produced "This Could Be It" by S.COUPS? â Genius Metadata
"This Could Be It" by S.COUPS was produced by WOOZI (ì°ì§) & VERNON (ëČë
Œ).
Who wrote "This Could Be It" by S.COUPS? â Genius Metadata
"This Could Be It" by S.COUPS was written by S.COUPS.
S.COUPS "CHERRY ON TOP" Lyrics & Meaning | Genius Verified
đ€ a lot of fans were surprised with track three, or 'this could be it'. can we talk about that for a bit?
đ i'm sure not a lot of people were anticipating an almost indie, pop-folk number on my first EP, but i live to defy expectations. [laughs] there's not much to say about the song except that it's about that very specific instance where you kind of... fall in love with a stranger? that's in the line 'but who am i to know how you define a home', for example.
đ€ you're the sole writer of the track. was it a personal experience?
đ you're trying to get me in trouble! [giggle] okay, seriously. don't we all have moments like that? where we daydream over something or someone that we want. honestly, my favorite part of the track is the outro. [sings] am i too much for you, way too damn much for you? no such thing as too much, so you better take it or leave it. but this could be it. [speaks normally] you're never 'too much' for the right person. there's just... you. it's a song about wanting to know, wanting more with someone, who you know can be 'it' for you. the word is on the tip of my tongueâ
đ€ 'yearning'?
đ that's it. it's about yearning for someone and what the two of you could be, given the chance.
âș scroll through all my work àŽŠà”àŽŠàŽż ËÍÌêłËÍÌ )⧠ᶻ đ đ° .á my masterlist | @xinganhao | note: this could be it is from the lovely opm singer, reese lansangan. :)
#seungcheol x reader#scoups x reader#seungcheol imagines#scoups imagines#seungcheol smau#scoups smau#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#ââ á”ᔠ⊠mine#ââ á”ᔠ⊠series: svt burner#[ pt 2 as per popular request. <3 ]#[ i'm honestly surprised at the reception for this verse!!! but ty for liking it everyone :D ]#ââ á”ᔠ⊠queued!
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wc: 1.2k
[18+ only]
content: mentions of oral sex [f receiving], unprotected sex and cockwarming [very brief]
[just a little something i wrote. pretty much all smut with little to no plot.]
With the side of her face pressed down into the mattress and hips snapping against her ass - all that flooded her ears were his deep grunts, the sound of skin clashing and her lewd moans. He had woken her up in the middle of the night, but she didnât mind. She had given him permission to wake her up whenever he needed it. More specifically, she had even given him permission to wake her up by kissing her right between her plush thighs. It was one of her favorite things - waking up to her boyfriend eating her out. She didnât understand how he could be so good at it. All her previous boyfriends had complained when she asked for it. They would say it made their jaw hurt. That they didnât like the thought of putting their tongue down there, but they never did complain when she would put her tongue on them.
Harry was unlike any other man she had met. He doted on her. He took care of her. He provided for her. If it were up to him, (Y/N) would never have to lift a finger, but he knew that his girl also liked being self-sufficient. He both admired and loathed how independent she could be sometimes. He loved how strong she was, but sometimes it scared him. He couldnât help but wonder every now and then what would happen if (Y/N) realized she didnât need him anymore - didnât want to be his anymore. Harry was sure that his heart would never be mended if that happened.
(Y/N) was his everything. He never had a love like her before, and he had no intention of having another love ever. He was going to marry her. That was a cold hard fact.
âHarry,â she whimpered as she brought one of her hands back and behind her.
He knew what she wanted, and he gave it to her. Placing his large hand in hers, he intertwined their fingers - flexing his to give hers a soft squeeze.
âFeeling good, baby?â Harryâs chin rested against his chest as he looked down at where his thick cock entered his girlfriend.
(Y/N) just hummed in response, but that wasnât enough for Harry. Propping one foot up on the mattress, he brought his freehand down and swatted at one of her ass cheeks. âYou know thatâs not going to cut it.â
Stopping his thrusts, he pulled out which caused (Y/N) to gasp, and she looked over her shoulder at him with wide eyes. She was flipped onto her back faster than she could blink.
Harryâs hands came down to her thighs, and he pushed them apart before plunging back inside of her with one fluid roll of his hips.
âOh my god,â (Y/N) moaned with her eyes screwed shut. âYouâre so fucking deep, H.â
Smirking to himself, Harry leaned down and scraped his teeth against his beautiful girlfriendâs jawline. âDo you like that, (Y/N)? Feeling me so deep in there?â
âYes, yes,â she panted as he started pounding into her once more. âI love it when youâre this deep. I feel you all the wayâŠall the way in here.â
Placing a hand over her lower stomach, (Y/N) pressed down - eliciting a groan from Harry and another mewl of pleasure from her with just how good that felt.Â
(Y/N) was never properly fucked before, and Harry caught onto that by the first time they slept together. She made him work for it, something he didnât mind doing by any means, but when the time actually came, he was seething at her past lovers at what he had seen. Sexy and confident (Y/N) had retreated into a shell of herself the moment he had her laid out on his mattress. She had asked him to turn almost all the lights off, and the ones that were left on had been turned down. She had asked that he not remove her bra, and that he just pull her panties to the side. It pained him to realize that she didnât want him to see her fully naked.
That changed before Harry entered her that night. He took his time to kiss over every inch of her skin. To compliment every piece of her that he could see. He let her know that she was by far the prettiest thing he had ever seen in the world. The most beautiful woman to ever be in his bed. He made it clear that no one before her ever compared, and that no one ever would.
By the time he took her home the next morning, (Y/N) had allowed Harry to take her in four different positions, resulting in six orgasms total. It was obvious to both of them that theyâd never get enough of each other just after that one night.Â
âSqueezinâ my cock so tight. Youâre gonna have me coming sooner than I want to,â Harry huffed out a laugh at himself, and it caused (Y/N) to also giggle. âBut, fuck, honey, you just feel too damn good. Such a snug little thing.â
His words had (Y/N)âs cunt pulsing around him even more, and he could tell she was right on the edge of her orgasm.Â
Sucking on the pad of his thumb, Harry brought it down to start rubbing precise circles against his girlfriendâs clit, and that had her arching her back off the bed.
âHoly shit,â she gasped - toes curling and fists clenching against the pale pink sheets surrounding them. âIâm about to cum.â
Harry watched as (Y/N) threw her head back which resulted in her pretty neck being completely exposed to him. He could feel her walls beginning to clamp down around him, and with one more deep thrust, her orgasm gushed around his length.
âGood girl,â he crooned, leaning down to kiss over (Y/N)âs collarbone. âSuch a good girl fâme.â
Once she felt like the air had properly returned to her lungs, (Y/N) blinked her eyes open to stare at the gorgeous man above her.
âFill me up, please,â she pouted her lips at him as she tapped her fingertips against the spot on her stomach that she had pressed down on earlier. âRight in here.â
âYeah?â Harry smirked as he gripped onto her hips and angled them up just a little more. âWant it tucked up in there?â
âMhmm,â (Y/N) hummed with a nod of her head. âI like it when itâs up there that far. It takes longer to drip out of me, and I like feeling it for as long as I can.â
(Y/N) could be dirty when she wanted to be, but he had never heard her say something like that to him before. Choking out a moan, Harry felt the warmth in his lower abdomen boil over, and before he could process it, he was shooting his load inside her slick pussy.
Biting down on her bottom lip, (Y/N) reeled from the feeling of Harry pumping his cum into her. He didnât stop until he felt like he couldnât hold himself up with his shaky arms anymore. He collapsed against her chest, and she wrapped her arms around him as they both continued to come down from their highs.
âI love when you wake me up in the middle of the night like that,â (Y/N) played with Harryâs curls as she spoke. âCan we fall back asleep like this?â
âSure, baby,â Harry puckered a kiss to the top of one of her breasts. âAnd then when we wake up in a few hours, Iâll continue fucking that same load into you before giving you another."
#harry styles fanfiction#harrystylesff#harry styles fic#harry styles#harry styles fanfic#harrystylesfanfiction#harrystylesfanfic#harry styles smut#harrystylessmut#harry styles writing#harrystyleswriting#harry styles au#harry x y/n#harry styles x y/n#harry styles x reader#harry x reader#smutty blurb#harry styles blurb#harry styles smutty blurb#fanfic#fanfiction#smut#hs fanfic#hsff
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episode one: the hellfire club
Robin waves her hands in the air as if to get Steveâs voice away from her. âEw! Gross, donât say boobiesââ âBoobies! Itâs not a big dealââ You make a face. âIt isnât the most pleasant word.â âOh, câmon. You like boobies, Robin likes boobies, and we all know I love your boobies specificallyâow!â You hit the back of Steveâs head with annoyance to get him to stop talking about your boobs. While he winces in pain and rubs his tender head, you turn towards Robin. âWhat my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that everyone likes boobs, and Vickie definitely likes them too.âÂ
Summary: el writes to you as if youre her husband away at war, you debate the intricate nature of liking boobies with robin and steve, lucas is your beloved while eddie munson is your sworn enemy, steve accidentally exposes your (horribly hidden) daddy issues, dustin is an angsty teen, and jonathan really loves to drop emotional bombshells on you. can you believe this all happens in one day ? lol cheers to senior year !
Rating: general, some swearing
Warnings: swearing, fem!reader, use of y/n, mentions of abuse, allusions to bullying, trauma lol
Words: 13.5k (wrote half of this in one day)
Before you swing in: SHES HERE !!!! SEASON 4 !!! this season terrifies me. i spent so much time outlining and making sure it was perfect. i have some changes i want to do, some ideas, and its scary because we dont have season 5 yet and i hate messing with canon ,,, alas: here she is. my baby. my beloved. quick fun fact: theres a scene in here ive had planned since season 1 so .... enjoy !
â
March 21st, 1986.
Dear Y/N,
Congratulations on New York University! Joyce tells me that it is a very good college, and everyone was extremely happy when Jonathan told us the news. He even had a smile on his face! It has been a very long time since I have seen him smile, especially without that weird smell on him (am I allowed to tell you about the strange plants that Jonathan seems to like now? He says that you cannot find out about it, but friends donât lie and he is your bestest friend).Â
I asked Will about it, and he says that Jonathan now smells because he misses you. If you ask me, I think that Jonathan smells because he is scared. We are still waiting for his college letter, afterall. I know you want to go to school with him, but so does Nancy. Is it possible to go to two colleges? Anyways, it must be a lot of pressure, even more with all the waiting we have to do, but Joyce told us that sometimes colleges take a long time to respond.Â
While I am positive that Jonathan will figure it all out soon, he pretends he does not care. But he is a very bad liar. He was very upset that Nancy could no longer visit us in California. Will was bummed too, but he was more sad that it was not you who was visiting. Joyce says that the Byers boys were born to miss you, and I think she is right.Â
I also miss you. I am still bummed I never went to school with you. I bet Mike is over the moon to have you with him for high school, Dustin and Lucas also. How is Max? Is she still sad? I know school has been hard for her. I will admit that it is hard for me, too. While I am good at maths, and my grammar is getting better, I am still unsure when to use conjunctions or why Angela does not like me. Will tells me to ignore her, but I want to be her friend. She is nice to everyone else. It confuses me that she is not nice to me.
A lot about California confuses me. The flowers here are different, and sometimes I forget that I cannot go and visit you. I miss the smell of Bookstrordinary (did I spell it right?) and your cookies. Please send more as soon as you can. Will and I are almost dying to taste them again! Mike says he will try to bring some on the plane, but I am scared he will be told no by those scary airplane people.
Speaking of Mike, he is coming to California this week! I am very excited to see him. It has felt like years, I think I am even going crazy. I have planned everything for his week here. Spring break will be extra special! It will be a fun distraction from Angela and school. This week I can pretend to be someone else, someone cool, and Mike will be very impressed. I know you tell me to always be myself, so I hope that I can make you happy by taking your advice on focusing only on the good.Â
To prove I will focus on the good from here on out, here is a good things list:Â
Mike is visiting!
Will has almost finished his painting. I am very curious to see what he has made. He is really talented, he shows me the drawings he sends you sometimes.Â
You got into NYU! Is this the correct way to abbreviate? I am still working on conjunctions, but I think I am supposed to use the first letter of every word in the schoolâs name to shorten it. At least, that is what Joyce says.Â
Jonathanâs new best friend, Argyle, will give us free pizza to celebrate Mikeâs arrival. It is really good pizza.Â
Tasting your cookies again. Fingers crossed Mikeâs plan succeeds!
I am sure there is more, but I am too excited about this week and my mind is going very fast. I miss you tons, maybe even more than Will and Jonathan do. Please come visit us soon. Like Joyce says, the Byers boys were born to miss you. Although I am not a Byers boy, I am still a part of the Byers family, and I miss you.Â
Love, El.
P.S., thank you for the grammar books. I will be sure to become the best writer ever in California.Â
â
Sweet, gentle, El. You can almost hear her voice, reading aloud to you as you used to do when she lived in Hopperâs cabin. She would stumble over the letters, ask you how to sound out particularly difficult words in Spider-Man comics; they helped her learn how to read. Now, almost a year later, sheâs writing you letters.Â
El has grown up so much within such a short few months, although it doesnât surprise you.
Laughing softly as you reread the final line sheâs written, you wipe your eyes and place Elâs letter onto your desk. The piece of paper joins the others, nestled gently with a pile of her other letters that are housed on your desk. El sends you a new letter every week, detailing silly stories about Jonathan and Will or concerned ramblings about Angela.
The letters make you miss El terribly. They make you miss everyone terribly.Â
Next to the letters are drawings from Will. Heâs become such an artist during his time in California. He sends you beautiful sketches of landscapes in their neighborhood, doodles from class, and incredibly detailed drawings of you and the party. The drawings are Willâs special way to keep in contact with you, and itâs something you cherish so deeply. However, you didnât know that he was working on a painting, and youâre curious to see what El is talking about. Eventually heâll reveal his art to you, he always does. Â
Skimming a finger over one of the more recent drawings from Will, your hand catches on the walkman that lays next to it. Jonathanâs messy handwriting is scrawled on the mixtape that sits within it.
For bug.
The words, familiar and loved, stare back at you. The mixtape contains songs that Jonathan so carefully chose for you. He spent countless hours selecting songs that he knew youâd love, songs that reminded him of you. It had been his gift for you before he moved away. And now heâs gone, and you miss him so much more than you ever thought you would. More than you ever thought you could miss anyone. Â
Jonathan never did end up coming to Hawkins for spring break.Â
âDusty, whatâs going on in there?â The sound of your mother pounding on Dustinâs door breaks you from your thoughts. âYouâre gonna be late.â
âDonât come in, Iâm naked!â You hear the boy screech back at her, which you roll your eyes at. Steve will be here to pick you guys up any minute. Dustin knows he should be ready by now, the schedule has never changed.Â
Throwing on the cardigan Steve got you for Christmas last year, you grab your walkman and storm over to Dustinâs room. At the same time, your mother nearly crashes into you in the hall. Her face is pale, horrified of the idea that she almost saw her son naked, and you pity the woman. Dustin has become relentless lately, even more difficult to deal with.Â
âY/N, my dear,â your mother clutches at her chest and fans her face. âCan you please make sure your brother is ready? I think that boy is trying to give me a heart attack.â
You sigh, figuring you would have to do so anyways. âYeah, sure. Go finish getting ready, Iâll handle him.â
âThis is why youâre my favorite daughter!â Your mother kisses your cheek before running off towards the kitchen to make her morning coffee.Â
Once sheâs gone, you immediately start banging on Dustinâs door. He knows you hate being late. Plus, itâs the Friday before spring break. Youâre getting antsy waiting for this week to end. âDustin Henderson, you have three seconds before I kick this door down.â
âNot now, Y/N!â Dustin shouts back, frantic and desperate.Â
You narrow your eyes. Heâs using his suspicious voice, the one he only uses when heâs doing something he absolutely shouldnât be doing. Glancing down at your watch and noting the early hour, you curse in disbelief. âItâs not even seven yet, what the hell are you up to so early in the morning?â
âNothing! Just go away, Iâll be out soonââ
âI swear, if youâre trying to sell my limited edition comics again I will hurt you.â You throw your body against the door, causing it to fly open as you stumble inside. Dustin is at his computer and he nearly falls off his chair in his haste to cover the screen from you. Heâs remarkably horrible at playing cool. Youâre about to tell him this when Suzieâs voice crackles through his radioâs speakers.Â
âYikes, Dusty.â
âSuzie?â You walk over to your brother and shove his hands off the computer screen. He falls to the ground with a loud thud, which pleases you. He may be a teenager now, but youâre still stronger than him. At least for now. âWhy are you calling her right nowââ Your eyes land on the screen and you recognize Hawkins Highâs familiar orange and green school colors. âIs this the student gradebook?â
âNo!â Dustin exclaims, but Suzieâs small and soft voice responds, âYes.â
âOh my God,â you cannot believe heâs making his girlfriend hack into your schoolâs database. Sure, sheâs a genius, but you also know sheâs incredibly religious. âDustin, this is so illegal and goes against, like, all of Suzieâs religious moralsââ
âI will repent later.â Suzie interrupts you, and you raise your eyebrows at what sheâs just said. Before you can question her, Dustinâs computer refreshes.Â
He leans forward, eyes scanning to see if theyâve succeeded, and he seems to like what he sees. Suddenly Dustin lets out a sudden whoop and fist bumps the air. âGod, I love you Suzie.â
Curious, you lean over and read the screen as well. There, where you know Dustin had a D- in Latin not even a day ago, is now an A. Thereâs no possible way he was able to raise his grade in under twenty-four hours. He sucks at Latin, he hates it, which means⊠She did it. Suzie changed his grade. All she had to do was press one single button to save Dustinâs GPA.Â
You have to admit, itâs impressive. And shamefully genius.Â
âHey, Suzie.â You bring the radio to your lips, shoving Dustin away when he tries to take it from you. âDo you think you could change my grade in calculus? Jonathan was the only reason I passed any of my other math classes.â
âOh, I donât knowâŠâ Suzieâs voice raises a pitch, she doesnât want to tell you no. She likes you, she really does, but her God figurine stares down at her with a disappointed look in his eyes. Sheâs sinned for love, but she doesnât think she could ever do it again.Â
Youâre about to plead with Suzie, tell her NYU really prioritizes their studentâs grades, but the sound of a car honking outside catches your attention; itâs Steve. Dustin yanks the radio from your hand and shoos you away. âGo, leave without me.â
âWhat, why? We always drive together.â You frown, feeling like a little kid when you cross your arms. Dustin smiles apologetically, a smile youâve become familiar with. Your mood darkens, anger rises to your cheeks. You know exactly why Dustin is now skipping out on you. âDonât tell me itâs that stupid Eddie Munsonââ
âHe wants me and Mike to work out some campaign details before lunch today!â Dustin scrambles to mediate. He hates that you donât like Eddie, and you like everyone. Itâs unnerving how much disdain you seem to carry for his friend. âNance is driving us, but I swear Iâll ride with you and Steve after break!â
You scoff at Dustin, not at all believing his promise to you. Ever since September your brother has been at Eddie Musonâs beck-and-call, who dictates everything Dustin says or does. At first it was innocent enough, choosing to sit with the guy instead of you at lunch. Skipping out on a few weekend plans with you and Steve to campaign with Eddie. Youâd been happy for Dustin. He was making new friends, no longer your little shadow; he was his own person with his own priorities and interests now.
But ever since getting into NYU last week, Dustin has been pulling away even more from you. You donât know why, but heâs become even more obsessed with Eddie and his stupid Hellfire club.Â
Eddie Munson is the air your brother now breathes, stifling the air Dustin once breathed for you.
And it seems to only be suffocating you, not him.
âYeah, whatever.â Halfheartedly you ruffle Dustinâs hair, and he leans into the touch. You donât want him to know his repeated absences are upsetting you. Deep down, you know youâre being irrational. Youâre almost eighteen, soon you wonât even be living under the same roof as Dustin. Heâs allowed to live his own life. âI guess Iâll see you at the pep rally. Tell Suzie I said bye, please?â
Dustin nods, though you donât linger in the doorway like you desperately want to. Instead, you shut the door behind you and place a swift kiss to your motherâs cheek as you leave.Â
Steveâs car is parked in its usual spot at the end of the driveway. The teenâs arm hangs out the window and his face breaks into a smile when he sees you approaching. Steveâs smile is infectious, itâs always charmed you, and it settles the ache in your chest from your brotherâs earlier dismissal. Feeling a smile spread across your own face, you run towards Steve and poke your head through the open window.
âHi,â you breathe out, nose almost bumping against his cheek.
âHi, angel.â Steve kisses you, solidifying your morning tradition. Neither one of you really remembers who started it, but sometime during the school year you began to slip your head through Steveâs car window so that he could kiss you slow and sweet.Â
And, as tradition follows, Robin starts boos. âDo you have to do that every morning?â
Steve makes a face at her and she punches his arm. He yelps in pain and you roll your eyes at the two of them before running over to the passengerâs side where Robin sits. Her window is rolled down as well and you duck your head inside. âAw, Robin. If you wanted a kiss, you couldâve just said so!âÂ
âA kissâ?â Your lips press against Robinâs cheek, smushing against her face while making a dramatic sound. She squeals and pushes you away, wiping her now wet cheek in disgust. âThat is not what I wanted.â
You giggle at her and finally get into the car. Itâs getting late, you see the assortment of Robinâs limited makeup dumped into her lap haphazardly. Sheâs been stressing about this morningâs pep rally all week, and clearly she isnât coping very well. Trying to cheer her up, you flick her shoulder. âIâll have you know that my cheek kisses are cherished in Hawkins.â
âHow many peopleâs cheeks are you kissing?â Steve turns in his seat to face you, slightly alarmed. Then, noticing that thereâs only one Henderson in his car, he frowns. âAnd whereâs little Henderson?â
âEddie Munson.â
âWoah, wait, you mean Eddie as in where Dustin is, right? Not, like, youâve been kissing his cheek? Iâm right, right? Please tell me Iâm right.â
You roll your eyes fondly at Steve while Robin rolls hers in displeasure. âJust drive, Steve.â
â
It becomes pretty apparent five minutes into the car ride that no one seems to be having a good morning. Robin has spent the majority of the drive applying and reapplying her mascara while messing with her hair. She groans every time she looks in the mirror and her eyes lack their usual brilliance.Â
Meanwhile, Steve has been complaining about yet another fight with his dad. Apparently they argued during breakfast, something that has become a common occurrence in the Harrington household.Â
âThe asshole again reminded me that Iâm turning twenty soon. As if I donât already know that! I mean,â Steve laughs in exasperation. âFor weeks now heâs been asking me what my plans are, as if working at Family Video just isnât good enough for him. As if my dad isnât the sole reason I had to get a lousy minimum wage job in the first place!âÂ
âFamily Video isnât a lousy jobââ
âYes it is.â Both Steve and Robin say at the same time, which you sigh at. Canât really argue with that.Â
âOkay, yeah. Itâs pretty lousy.â
Steve rubs his eyes tiredly. âAnd that isnât even the worst part. There I was, pouring syrup over my pancakes, trying to enjoy the fact that my parents are actually home for once, when my asshole of a father tells me that if I donât have a respectable job by the time Iâm twenty, heâll kick me out. I mean, can you believe that?âÂ
You suck in a breath. âSteveâŠâ
Richard Harrington is a cruel, awful man.Â
While you understand his frustrations towards Steve, itâs completely unreasonable to expect him to get a reputable job in a few short months without any college education. Steveâs right, it had been Richardâs idea to make him work at Scoops Ahoy in the first place. When the mall burned down, he had no other option but to work at Family Video soon after.Â
âIâm sorry, honey.â You intertwine your fingers through Steveâs hair and rub your thumb up and down the nape of his neck in a soothing manner. Steve allows the touch, but heâs still tense. Guessing that heâs uncomfortable feeling so pitied, you try to make light of the situation with humor. âBut hey, who knows? Maybe you can come live with me in New York if he ends up kicking you out.â
Steve risks a look at you, taking his eyes off the road for a few moments, and his eyes shine. Heâs ecstatic over what youâve just said. He looks like a little kid on Christmas Eve. âYou really mean that?â
âWell, I meanâŠâ It had mostly been a joke, a throwaway comment to try and get him to smile. But Steveâs body finally relaxes under your touch and you canât tell him no. âYeah, I guess I did.â
âYou hear that, Robin?â Steve preens, wanting to get her attention. However, when he realizes that she hasnât been listening to the entire conversation, he makes an offended sound. âRobin, are you listening to me?â
âUh, yes?â Her eyes meet yours in the mirror, startled that sheâs been caught. âYou were-uh. Talking to Y/N about your dad. We-we hate him! Yeah, we hate the guy. He really⊠grinds my gears?â
Steve groans. âWe all hate my dad, but that wasnât what I was talking to you about!â
âCut me some slack, please. Your relationship with your father is one of labyrinthine complexityââ
You poke your head between the two teens. âActually, itâs not that complicated.â
Robin covers your mouth with her hand and continues with her rant. âItâs seven in the morning, we have the stupid pep rally, and I woke up looking like a total corpse!âÂ
âI think you look lovely as always, Robin.â You mumble through the girlâs hand, barely coherent.
Steve, however, isnât as supportive. âYouâre worried about a pep rally? You really expect me to believe that?â
âYeah, so?â Robin removes her hand from your mouth and goes back to doing her makeup. Sheâs avoiding the conversation now, which only means that Steve is onto something. Why has she been so obsessed about this weekâs pep rally? Robin has been in band for years now, sheâs done a million pep rallies during her high school career. It canât be performing that makes her nervous.Â
Which means it has to be about someone.Â
Locking eyes with Steve, he seems to be thinking what you are. âI think we all know what this is about, okay? Y/N and I arenât buying that bullshit.â
âThis is about Vickie.â You finish for him, a smirk on your face. For weeks now Vickie has been all Robin has talked about. Her hair, how pretty her smile is, how cute her freckles are. Vickie also happens to be in band with Robin. âCâmon, you canât tell us weâre wrong.â
âI absolutely can tell you youâre wrong.â Robin denies what you and Steve are implying.
Steve shakes his head. âYou know weâre right! And you know what else we think?â
âI really donât careââ
âY/N and I think that you gotta stop pretending to be someone else when youâre around her, okay? You just gotta be yourself.â
Robin doesnât want to hear any of this. At least not from you and Steve. âYou guys are biased, you do realize that?â
âWhat do you mean?â Youâre practically laying across Steveâs car console in order to be a part of the conversation. âI think weâre objective people.â
âYouâre telling me that all I have to do is be myself and Vickie will want to date me?â
You frown. âYeah? Whatâs wrong with that?â
Robin throws her head back. âBecause it took Steve months to ask you out. Mind you, this was when you were already in love with the guy! And he knew you were in love with him!â
âOkay, heyââ Steve doesnât at all like what sheâs insinuating. He didnât necessarily know you were already in love with him, he just⊠had a small hunch.Â
âIâm not done,â Robin holds her hand up. âAll Steve had to do was man up and admit his feelings for you. He didnât have to agonize over whether or not itâd blow up in his face. There was no risk, no danger, no world ending consequences. I mean, if you had rejected him then maybe Steveâs ego wouldâve been bruised. But if I ask out the wrong girl? Bam! Iâm a town pariah.â
âThis is true,â you reluctantly agree. While you could never envision a world where youâd ever say no to Steve, you also recognize that the world where you somehow do wouldnât be the same world as Robinâs. Things are different for her, whether you like it or not. Robin has to live with this knowledge, and her conversation with you about luck and love from last summer echoes in your mind.Â
Steve places a hand on his chest, betrayed. âWhose side are you on, Y/N?â
âTrue loveâs side.â
Robin snorts and Steve doesnât bother to hide his smile. He wants to tease you for being a hopeless romantic, but now isnât the time. Instead, he continues the previous conversation. âTrue love aside, we canât ignore that Vickie is definitely not the wrong girl.â
âOh, she definitely isnât straight.â You agree.
âWe donât know that!â Robin quickly sprays some breath freshener in her mouth and gags, which you cringe at. Vickie is one lucky girl if Robin ever manages to become her girlfriend.Â
Steve doesnât let up, heâs convinced he has it all figured out. âShe returned Fast Times paused at fifty-three minutes, five seconds.â
âThe bikini scene, mind you.â You butt in, and Steve nods eagerly.
âAnd you know who pauses Fast Times at fifty-three minutes, five seconds? People who like boobies, Robin!âÂ
Robin waves her hands in the air as if to get Steveâs voice away from her. âEw! Gross, donât say boobiesââ
âBoobies! Itâs not a big dealââ
You make a face. âIt isnât the most pleasant word.â
âOh, câmon. You like boobies, Robin likes boobies, and we all know I love your boobies specificallyâow!âÂ
You hit the back of Steveâs head with annoyance to get him to stop talking about your boobs. While he winces in pain and rubs his tender head, you turn towards Robin. âWhat my darling boyfriend is trying to say is that everyone likes boobs, and Vickie definitely likes them too.âÂ
Robin canât even look at the two of you, appalled by how many times the word âboobiesâ has been uttered during the duration of the conversation. You canât blame her, the word has practically lost all meaning for you as well.
Steve, however, canât seem to get enough of it. âItâs boobies!â He exclaims again to no one in particular.
You and Robin lock eyes, and then, without saying anything, your hand covers Steveâs mouth while Robin flicks his forehead, effectively putting the boob conversation to an end.Â
âÂ
The moment Steveâs BMW slows in front of the school, Robin throws the door open and rushes out with a quick âsee you later!â to you as she runs to follow after her bandmates. Steve waves weakly as she goes and sighs in disappointment.
âSheâs never talking to Vickie, is she?â
âNot a chance,â you sigh as well, watching as Robinâs figure disappears in the crowd of students. Spring break looms over the student body, everyone buzzes with excitement over their week of freedom and tonightâs basketball game. The pep rally in just a few short minutes only adds to the exhilaration. Leaning forward, your lips graze against Steveâs. âAnyways, see you tonight?â
He bridges the gap between your lips, skin meets skin and warmth floods your stomach. âOf course, angel. I love you.â
âI love you, too, honey.â And with one last kiss, you exit Steveâs car and make your way towards the school. As always, Steve waits until youâre safely on the sidewalk before he pulls away and heads towards Family Video. Heâs started picking up morning shifts to fill the time he isnât with you.
On your way inside, you see Ms. Kelly talking to Max near the buses. The conversation is short, doesnât last much longer than a few seconds, and when Max turns away you notice Ms. Kellyâs patient smile drop. Clearly Max still isnât being cooperative when it comes to their sessions. She promised you she would start trying, but Max Mayfield has always been stubborn and youâve always been slightly overbearing.
Not the best combination, honestly.
With a sigh, you make a mental note to ask Max about what the counselor talked to her about later. Thereâs too much going on this morning to focus on it, and youâre already pushing Max by having her attend the pep rally anyways. Originally she had wanted to skip it and hide in the stairwell, but after begging her about it, Max finally agreed.
The conversation can wait. For now, at least sheâll be next to you in the bleachers alongside the boys to cheer on Lucas.
The thought was enough to brighten your mood a little, but it quickly became a pain in the ass to corral the party into sitting together. It took you almost fifteen minutes to find Mike and Dustin in the mass of students heading into the gym. Youâre not necessarily sure how it took so goddamn long given the fact that Mike towers over half of the students anyways. Heâs grown freakishly tall since starting freshman year. It unnerves you.Â
While his towering height annoys you, Mike likes that he can finally, literally, look down on you.Â
âThere you guys are!â You grab the back of Mikeâs shirt and he lets out a startled yelp. Dustin stumbles back as well, and an annoyed sophomore glares at the three of you. Ignoring her, you grab your brotherâs shirt and start dragging the two boys towards the bleachers. âThought we agreed on meeting at the water fountain that squirts water in your face?â
âI thought it was the library?â Dustin gives you an odd look. âWait, is there even a water fountain in the library?â
âYou amaze me.â You remark, not even bothering to answer his question. He listens like a bag of rocks. Mike just allows you to pull him, not at all contributing to the conversation.
Max waits for you in the bleachers. Sheâs saved you seats, something that you feel slight relief over. The simple gesture is small, but it sparks just enough hope within your chest to make you exhale softly. Hope that sheâs getting better. Hope that sheâs finally trying again.
Thanking Max, you and the others fill the seats as the gym quickly fills with more and more students until it threatens to overflow. The roar of the crowd is nearly deafening. Across from the bleachers resides the marching band. Theyâre playing the schoolâs anthem as the cheerleaders start their routine. Chrissy Cunningham leads them, her smile lovely and beautiful, she shines so brightly upon the crowd that you canât help but fall in love with her.
In the midst of the cheerleadersâ twists and flips, Robin manages to catch your eye from across the room.
You eagerly wave at her and mime playing the trumpet, copying her movements as she actually plays one. Robin laughs, and next to her is a girl with fiery red hair who laughs as well. Sheâs pretty, youâve heard countless sonnets about her red hair and dotted freckles. Knowing the girl is Vickie, you point at her as you wink at Robin, who scoffs and goes back to playing the trumpet.Â
Next to you, you catch the tail end of some bizarre conversation between Mike and Dustin.
âLook, Iâm not saying that my girlfriend is better than yours.â Dustin is clarifying, glaring at you when he hears your sarcastic snort. âItâs just that Suzieâs, like, a certified genius.â
Mike crosses his arms, looking towards you as if somehow this is all your fault. âYour brother realizes that El saved the world twice, right?â
âAdmittedly that is hard to beat,â you shrug. âThat, and she has cool powers.â
Dustin points a finger at the two of you. âAnd yet Mike still has a C in Spanish while youâre barely passing calculus.â
Mike rolls his eyes and you shrug again. Your brother isnât necessarily wrong either. Elâs saved the world, Suzie has saved his GPA. Both are nearly impossible feats. âTouchy subject, but touchĂ©.â
âAnd what can your boyfriend do, Y/N?â Mike asks, now bringing the attention to your love life.
âHeâs good with a bat.â
Both Dustin and Mike groan, but you shush them when the schoolâs broadcaster announces the Tigers basketball team. Applause breaks out across the bleachers and you notice Max looking around for Lucas. Though she tries to hide it, you can see the interest and excitement in her eyes. Sheâs happy for him, but it breaks your heart that she feels that she canât show it.
Jason Carver, captain of the basketball team and former Scoops Ahoy patron before Steve spilled ice cream all over his pants, runs out first. The crowd goes wild, but you donât start cheering until you see Lucas. Heâs smiling wide, proud to be a part of the team. You scream as loud as you can for him, heâs come so far since confessing to you about wanting to join the team earlier this year. As Jason starts his speech, dramatic as he always is, Lucas sees you in the bleachers and waves shyly, a blush creeping across his face. Then, seeing Max next to you, his confidence seems to grow as he waves more enthusiastically at her.Â
The moment is sweet, it makes you smile.Â
Except Max doesnât wave back. She crosses her arms, pretends she hasnât seen him, and your smile drops alongside Lucasâ.Â
You know theyâve been having some trouble recently. With Max pulling away more and more each day, Lucas struggled to hold onto the fading girl. Despite his pleas and reassurances, Max still seems to be icing him out. According to Dustin, they broke up almost a month ago now.Â
But theyâve always had a tumultuous relationship, long before nightmares and monsters darkened everything. The news hadnât worried you at first, you thought it was simply another one of their weekly breakups over something small, innocent. Afterall, they were just kids when they first started dating. Their breakups were always childish, though endearing, and always temporary.Â
Now, youâre scared that this time itâs permanent.Â
Youâre not sure what that means for Max. She already has so few people left in her life to tether her. Billy died, her mother works two jobs and is never home anymore, El is in California, and you and Lucas are breaking skin trying to claw onto whatever small hold you have left of the girl.
Another loud cheer from the crowd breaks you from your thoughts. Jason mustâve just said something important, something worthy enough of a roaring reaction. Heâs always been popular in Hawkins, Steve used to complain about him to you back when he was still on the team. But when Steve graduated and Billy died, Hawkins High had needed a new King to crown.
Jason Carver was more than happy to ascend the throne.Â
âChrissy, I love you, babe.â Everyone awes and you see Chrissy blow Jason a kiss. Itâs sweet, you suppose. They fit together nicely, head cheerleader with the star of the basketball team, and they seem genuinely happy. Chrissyâs shy and kind demeanor balances Jasonâs loud and charismatic boldness. They truly are a good match.Â
âI think I can speak for all of us when I say itâs been a tough year for Hawkins.â Jason continues his speech, the room is eerily silent as everyone listens with baited breath. âSo much lossâŠâ The gym almost exhales simultaneously, remembering all the people who died last summer.
Your own breath exhales, and beside you Max tenses. Billyâs ghost floats through your minds, in through hers and out through yours. Hopperâs own ghost follows after him, only he doesnât haunt Max the way he haunts you. He lingers over you, his final words to you engraved into your skin.Â
Youâre the best of them.
âAnd sometimes I wonder, how much loss can one community take?â
Enough to fill a mall of burning bodies, you think bitterly.Â
Jason paces the gymâs floor now, he almost seems to glow before the crowd. He rambles on about needing something to believe in. That everyone should be doing something to honor all the lives lost in July, that playing basketball can absolve all the despair. As if it can bring them back.
Deep below your ribcage, nestled right underneath your scar and just in front of your stomach, rests a pit of anger that always simmers. You were born with it, it has always followed you. It has grown with you, the anger almost possessed your body when your dad left. Now, hearing Jason recite all the names of the ones who died that Fourth of July, the angerâs low simmer heats into a soft boil.Â
You try to quell it. Jason means well, heâs only trying to uplift the community in a passionate, albeit uncomfortably pastor-y way. Heâs only doing what he knows best; heâs being a leader. In another life, one where Demogorgons never harmed you, you think you wouldâve really admired Jason and his resilience.Â
âThink of Billy,â Your breath stills, yet your hand instinctively finds Maxâs. She turns away from you, but the room is spinning and you canât remember how to inhale. But Jason keeps going. âThink about our heroic police chief, Jim Hopper.â
Next to you, in your haze of grief and panic, you think you can feel Mike and Dustin shift uncomfortably. Grief sinks her claws into the kids, and you want nothing more than to puncture Jasonâs lungs with them.Â
This was supposed to be a pep rally for the Tigers, it was supposed to be joyous, an opportunity to bring Max out of her shell. To distract her from the hell that she calls her life. The entire school knows what happened to Billy, they know that he had a little sister named Max Mayfield.
You hate Jason Carver.
But youâre here for Lucas. Today is about him. Heâs finally happy, heâs smiling again. The least you can do is swallow down the anger and grief and hope that you donât end up choking on them later. That they donât strangle you in your dreams.
âAnd now tonight, weâre gonna bring home the championship trophy!â Jason screams into the mic, erupting a volcanic roar from the stadium. People throw paper into the air, whistling and jumping up and down at the prospect of Hawkins High finally winning a championship.
âTonight?â Dustinâs agonized exclamation causes you to jump. He looks at you, bewildered and panicked. âHow is that possible?â
Your heart still hasnât steadied from the surge of fury Jason evoked. Swallowing once again, you clear your throat and shake your head at your brother. âWhat, you guys didnât know about the game tonight?â
âThey call it a tournament,â Max explains for you, figuring you need some time to clear your head. You squeeze her hand appreciatively. âYou win one game, you go on until thereâs only one team left.â
Mike and Dustin exchange frightened looks, and you eye them suspiciously. âDid you guys really not know? I thought Steve explained all of this to you already. Why is it such a big deal, anyways? I meanâwait,â the boys wonât meet your gaze. They avoid facing you, Mike stuffs his hands into his pockets and Dustin pretends to read someoneâs poster.Â
You know the fearful look on their faces. Itâs the same look Dustin gave you this morning when he ditched you to ride with Nancy and Mike.Â
Goddamn Eddie Munson.Â
âOh, donât you guys dare.â They wouldnât. They wouldnât fucking dream of missing one of Lucasâ games for a stupid club centered around some guy with enormous ego problems. âI swear to God, if you two skip the game tonightââ
âWe wonât! I-I mean⊠Well. Itâs, uh. Itâs complicatedâ Dustin gulps, elbowing his way through the crowd of departing students as the pep rally ends. Mike follows, ready to step in at any moment, while Max slips away before you can stop her. Seeing how contorted your body is from anger, Dustin tries to appease you. âLook, I canât promise anything, alright? Eddie is⊠Eddie.â
Youâre about to scream some very choice words about that curly haired emo asshole, but Lucas intercepts the group and joins you guys. He looks between you, Mike, and Dustin, sensing some underlying tension. âWhat about Eddie?â
Mike quickly explains, and the more he talks, the more you want to shove your knives down Eddieâs throat. Itâs one night, one goddamn night, and here Mike and Dustin are, almost shitting their pants at the idea of missing one Hellfire meeting to support their friend. While itâs unfortunate that all of this is happening on the same night, and though you recognize how long a campaign can take and how much the game means to the party, for once you canât bring yourself to understand Dustinâs side.Â
A championship game versus one single campaign meeting that can easily be done tomorrow instead.
Seems like a pretty easy decision to you.Â
Lucas doesnât understand why Mike and Dustin are so conflicted either. âI donât get the big deal.â Youâre all outside now, heading towards the main building for your classes. âJust talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire to another night.â
You nod, agreeing with him, and Dustin rolls his eyes. ââJust talk to Eddie.ââ
âYou canât be serious right now,â your shoulder brushes harshly against the boyâs. Youâre barely containing your anger right now. âWhy does Eddie have such a strong hold over you guys? Hasnât he repeated senior year twice now?â
âWhy does that matter?â Mike looks at you as if youâre the scum of the earth that he just so happened to step on. âWhy canât Lucas just talk to his coach and get him to move the game?â
Dustin quips that he thinks Mikeâs idea is a great one, but you shove between them and throw your hands in the air in annoyance. âYou canât possibly think thatâs the same thing, right? A nationally organized game being postponed for a board game.â
Mike and Dustin both gasp at you, acting as if youâve just threatened to kill a baby bunny in front of them, which only annoys you more. Sure, maybe youâre being a little mean right now, but youâre not appreciating how theyâre treating Lucas. Heâs never done anything to warrant this blatant disrespect from them. Theyâre refusing to see his side, too lost in their Eddie induced high.Â
âDnD isnât just a board game, Y/N! Iâm honestly disappointed that you of all people would even say that. Youâve seen the intricacies of a campaign. You know Iâve spent all month now preparing for the end of Eddieâs campaign!â Dustin waves his hands in front of him, heâs in his own ecstasy of anger and annoyance, something innate in the Henderson bloodline. âA semester of adventuring has led to this moment, and we need Lucas.â
âYeah, and the Tigers donât.â Mike looks over at Lucas. âI mean, no offense, but youâve been on the bench all yearâshit!â
You swat the back of Mikeâs head, the sound of his yelp satisfying and the sting of the hit soothes you. He looks at you, offended, and you just shake your head at him. âNo, that was out of line and you know it.â
âOne day Iâm gonna be too tall for you to hit me, you know.â Mike scowls at you as he rubs his head.Â
âAnd Iâll mourn the day when that happens,â you respond dryly before pointing at Lucas. âNow, apologize to him before I hit you again.â
Lucas lowers your finger and shakes his head. âItâs fine, Y/N. Me being on the bench isnât the point, anyways.â
âPlease, arrive at the point.â Your brother drops his head back and closes his eyes. Heâs tired, he regrets even starting this conversation in the first place. The more the four of you talk, the angrier he can feel you become. Mikeâs head may now be sore, but Dustin lives with you. If anyone here is in danger of your lecturing, itâs him.
âIf I get in good with these guys, Iâll be in the popular crowd, and then you guys will be too.â Lucas explains, looking between Dustin and Mike as he urges them to understand, but they donât. Mike claims that they donât want to be popular, something that Lucas doesnât believe. âWhat, you wanna be stuck with the nerds and freaks for three more years?â
âWe are nerds and freaks!â Dustin exclaims, causing a few students in the hall to look at you guys. You wave at them awkwardly, youâre starting to regret following the boys. This conversation feels personal, like you shouldnât be intruding. Though you think Lucas has every right to want a good high school experience, you also think Mike and Dustin deserve to have their own experiences as well. If they donât want to be popular, then thatâs their decision just as much as itâs Lucasâ to want to be.Â
You step between the three boys, finally getting their attention. âGuys, no one here is necessarily right or wrong. Lucas has every right to want to be a part of the basketball crowd, and you two,â you raise your eyebrows at Mike and Dustin, âhave every right to want to stick with Eddieâs crowd.â
Dustin sighs, âthanks, Y/Nââ
âIâm not finished,â you hold a hand up and shush your brother. âWhat isnât right, however, is abandoning one another. You guys are friends, and right now Lucas wants you at his game tonight to support him. Tonight is special, everyone will be there, and I want you guys there as well. I know high school is hard, but itâs even harder when youâre alone.â
âSays the girl who is adored by everyone in this shitty town.â Mike huffs, he canât believe how hypocritical youâre being. âYouâve never had to deal with what we do. No one has ever laughed at you or tried to make you jump off a cliff just because youâre different.â
You clench your jaw. Dustin looks at you wearily, he doesnât like what Mike is saying, but he also canât help but agree with his friend. You havenât ever been bullied. All your life youâve blended in, stood out only when you were kind to others, admired for your selflessness, but never enough to be invited to parties or dumped behind a dumpster.
âMikeâŠâ Your brother tries to pull him away from you, but you both stand your ground.
âYouâre right, Wheeler. I donât know what itâs like.â You stare up at the boy, and Mikeâs expression softens only slightly. Heâs just as stubborn as you are, itâs why the two of you admire the other so much. âBut you forget that Iâm Jonathanâs best friend. The creep, the loser, the psychopath. Kids may not have ever targeted me, but Iâve seen what they do to the people they hate.â
All the times you had to ice Jonathanâs bruised face. The nights you spent in his room holding him as he cried because Lonnieâs fists and Tommyâs cruel words were too much. The sneers, the stares Jonathan received because he was different. Quiet. Being your best friend hadnât lessened the blows.Â
For years you wish you couldâve done more for Jonathan. Now, presented with Lucasâ opportunity to befriend the crowd that once was so cruel to your friend, you refuse to lose it. âThatâs why I donât want Lucas skipping the game tonight.â
Itâs silent for a few moments, all three boys donât know what to say. Taking a deep breath, Lucas stands beside you and breaks the silence. âWe came to high school wanting things to be different, right? Now we have that chance. Like Y/N said, if I skip tonight, thatâs all out the window. So Iâm asking you guys, as a friend, just talk to Eddie. Get him to move Hellfire.â
Lucas pauses, he wets his lips and looks between his friends again. He feels so small, pleading for their attention. âCome to my game. Please.â
The bell rings, ending the conversation, and Lucas spares one last look at Dustin and Mike before mumbling a soft goodbye to you. He leaves you alone with the boys, who in turn mirror conflicted expressions.Â
âShit!â Dustin kicks his foot out and looks at you. âThis is all your fault, you know that?â
âWhat is?â
âMe having empathy. I hate this. Why couldnât you have raised me to be an asshole?â
You snort at Dustin before pulling him into a weak hug. You only have a few more minutes before you need to get to class, you canât stay very long, but you also donât want to leave the boys without some semblance of comfort. âYouâre too charming to be an asshole. Just⊠Come to the game, alright? Both of you. Iâll even make brownies if I have to. I just-Iâve missed you guys. This will be good for all of us.â
Mike ducks his head and Dustin sighs once more. Neither want to say anything else, so you reluctantly release your brother and leave them alone to wallow in their self-created misery.Â
Theyâll do the right thing. Youâre sure of it.
âÂ
Lunch comes and Alex sits next to you. He started sitting with you at lunch just after winter break, and youâre endlessly grateful for him. Youâre no longer alone, and heâs good company. A part of you regrets that it took the two of you three years to grow your friendship outside of Bookstrorindary.Â
Youâll miss him when you graduate.Â
Max is with Ms. Kelly today, a change in their usual meeting schedule of Tuesdays and Thursdays, meaning you had been right. She did skip their meeting yesterday and the counselor had to corner her this morning to schedule another one.Â
âBe honest, how excited are you to move to New York this summer?â Alex asks you, taking a bite out of his carrot stick. Youâve come to learn that he has a weird obsession with the vegetable, always packing at least twelve of them every day.Â
You pick at your own lunch, a wilted salad and sandwich your mom left for you this morning. âHonestly? It hasnât really hit me yet. I mean, I only got in last week. I think my mind is still trying to catch up with reality.â
âOh, câmon. You canât tell me youâre not at least a little excited.â
âOkay, okay,â you laugh and nudge the boy. âIâm a little excited. I just.. Havenât really had time to think too much about it, you know? Between work, my brother, Steve, the kids, andâŠâ
âJonathan?â Alex finishes for you. Heâs the only one who knows about how distant Jonathan has been. Youâve confided in him about how worried you are, about the phone calls while heâs high and the way Jonathanâs voice no longer sounds like his.Â
You shove your lunch away, no longer hungry. âYeah.â
âYou guys call every Friday, right? Maybe tonight will be different!â Alex tries to cut through the tension that now corrodes your demeanor, which you smile at him gratefully for.Â
âYeah, who knows.â A piece of hair falls in your face and you push it behind your ear. Picking up your fork again, you attempt to finish your meal, but a sudden commotion interrupts the low buzz in the lunchroom.Â
âAs long as youâre into band, or science, or parties.â Eddie Munson sneers from the cafeteria table heâs standing on. He looks around the room as if everyone else is beneath him. Not worth his time just because they enjoy different things. Looking at Alex, you both sigh and prepare for whatever Eddie has to say today. His voice grows louder, shouting across the room towards the basketball teamâs table. âOr a game where you toss balls into laundry baskets!â
Jason stands up and a few students whoop and cheer. âYou want something, freak?â
Eddie sticks to fingers up behind his head as he creates little devil horns, snarling with his tongue out and hissing. Jason grimaces, you do too.Â
âHeâs a little much, isnât he?â You say to Alex, relieved when Eddie starts to step down from the table.Â
âHe terrifies me.â Alex breathes out, not taking his eyes off Eddie in fear heâll somehow cast a spell on him.
You laugh at your friendâs unnecessary fear. Eddie is harmless, Hellfire isnât a demonic cult like some students at Hawkins seem to think. It really is just a club centered around a board game with impressive storytelling and detailed plotlines. From what Dustin has told you, Eddie truly is the best dungeon master in Indiana.Â
And while you believe him, you canât wrap your head around why your brother idolizes Eddie so much. The fascination runs deeper than just DnD. Dustin has spent almost every day of his freshman year wrapped around Eddieâs finger. He spends all his time with the teen now, rarely with you, but youâre not bitter. Of course youâre not. Dustin can have his own friends, you know this, but you also feel so⊠unneeded.Â
Your little brother doesnât need you anymore, and itâs a hard pill to swallow.
Truthfully, Alexâs question earlier about moving to New York in the summer sparked more than just your usual anxiety over Jonathan. It also reminded you that in only a few short months youâll be in an entirely new state, a new city, far away from Dustin.Â
âY/N!â Dustin flies into the seat next to you, nearly upending the table itself with how violently he throws himself down.
Alex shrieks and you steady the table before anything can fall. Heart pounding, you clutch at your chest as your nerves settle. âWhy must you always be so violent?â
âBecause itâs fun,â Dustin responds, not even bothering to acknowledge Alexâs presence. Instead, his eyes are only on you, and thereâs a crazed spark in them. Heâs breathing heavily, frantic, and you dread where this is going. âLook, I need to ask you a huge favor.â
âDo you realize that this is the first time youâve sat with me at lunch since the first day?â
He winces. âAnd I will repent every day for my horrendous sins. I promise, I justâJesus youâre terrifying when you donât blink.â Dustin removes his hat to fix his hair, a nervous tick of his. Heâs stalling, he shouldâve never come here. Gulping, he rips the band aid off. âI need you to sub for Lucas tonight.â
âIâm sorry?â Youâre giving him an out, one chance to back down before you strangle him.
Only Dustin tightens the noose even more. âPlease, Y/N! Eddie wonât move the campaign. He said something about sheep and-and finding subs because Mike and I are, uh. I guess the future of Hellfire and he needs us and did I mention how important this campaign is? Itâs super cool, super gory and totally up your alley andââ
âNo.â
âN-no?â Dustin practically deflates in front of you, the light in his eyes dies.Â
You shove him away from you, you donât want to look at his pathetic pouting. Youâre so unbelievably hurt right now, so fucking infuriated. âYou have spent every goddamn waking hour ass kissing Eddie. You havenât so much as looked at me during lunch this entire year as if Iâm a fucking plague. Youâve canceled plans, youâre hardly ever home, and now you expect me to abandon Lucas, someone who has spent time with me this year, someone who has made this entire year less lonely for me. Something, by the way, that you havenât even noticed, all because you finally need me?â
Dustinâs mouth opens and closes, he doesnât know what to say, but for once you donât care. How could he possibly think youâd miss Lucasâ game tonight? You adore the boys, each and every one of them, and now Dustin expects you to just abandon one of them for the others?Â
âYouâre only here because itâs convenient for you.â You hiss, venom pouring from your voice. âFor Eddie.âÂ
âY/NâŠâ Dustinâs voice breaks, he sounds like a little kid again, the baby brother you doted on your entire life. âPlease.â
âNo!â You scream at him.Â
The word echoes throughout the cafeteria. A few students turn to you, some curious, some annoyed. Alex draws into himself, wishing he were anywhere but here right now. Dustinâs eyes widen, his skin pales, and you clamp your hand over your mouth, completely and utterly mortified.Â
Youâve never, ever yelled at Dustin like this before. Not with so much malice, vitriol.Â
You feel like youâre twelve again, your anger hurting your baby brother.Â
Red hot with embarrassment and shame, you quickly get up from the table and flee the cafeteria. Dustin calls after you, but you stumble through the hallway towards the nearest bathroom. Tears burn your eyes, guilt wracks your body in painful thuds.Â
By the time you lock yourself in the bathroomâs stall, your sobs have begun to claw their way out of your throat. Pressing your back against the wall, you sink to the ground and pull your knees into your chest as you finally allow yourself to cry.
Abandonment makes you cruel. Your father taught you that.
âÂ
You donât see Dustin for the rest of the day. Heâs missing Lucasâ game and youâre angry with him for that, but you also feel such an intense guilt over your outburst. You canât stomach the thought of seeing him.Â
School ends and Steve drives you to work. The shift will be a short one due to the championship game, and Steve is staying with you so that you can drive to the game together. However, the moment you get into his car, he notices the dried tears on your face and the redness in your eyes and immediately throws his arms around you. In between shaky breaths and cries, you explain what happened to Steve.
He soothes you, tells you that you can always talk to Dustin after tonightâs game. Right now you and your brother need space from one another, and you hate that Steveâs right. Youâll force Dustin into a code blue, youâre long overdue for one, anyways. Heâs been acting weird for weeks now. Someone has to give in, you know this, and if it has to be you then youâll do anything to get your brother back.Â
For now, Steve holds your hand as he guides you through the crowd of people in the bleachers. They all cheer for Hawkins High, the energy in the gym is electric. Faces are painted, cheerleaders wave their pom-poms, and youâre wearing Steveâs old Tigers jersey. Youâre not much for school spirit, but Steve almost crashed the car when he realized you were wearing the jersey, and you know Lucas will appreciate it too.
âY/N, over here.â Steveâs hand falls onto the small of your back as he gently pushes you towards some open seats heâs found. You lean into his touch and sit beside him. With his body against yours, you try to immerse yourself in the joy from the crowd.Â
The entire town is here tonight. Everyone is smiling, kids laugh and parents wave posters for their sons. Tonight will be a good night, youâve decided this to be true.Â
The national anthem is announced and everyone rises in their seats. When the broadcaster announces that Tammy Thompson will be singing, you and Steve look at each other incredulously. Laughter rises within you and you cackle when Robin finds the two of you in the crowd. Thereâs no way this wonât end in disaster.Â
Tammy walks out, wearing a horrendous faux cowboy outfit, and almost immediately sings off-key. You cringe, ears stinging from the attack, and try desperately not to let out any laughter as she continues to butcher the song.Â
Steve whispers over to Robin, âtold you. Muppet.â
âOkay, she does sound like a muppet.â Robin agrees, which only makes it harder to contain your giggles. Tammy is worse than a muppet, she sounds like a goddamn muppet that broke into her dadâs alcohol stash.Â
âYou sound better, angel.â Steve whispers into your ear, breath warm against your skin.Â
You lean back against him and smile sarcastically. âAnyone can sound better than her.â
Steve chuckles and you canât help but join him. You know itâs rude, that Tammy is honestly not that bad, though definitely not good enough for Nashville, but you canât help it. You canât believe Robin ever had such a huge crush on the girl who now drones the national anthem like a dying parrot.Â
In between breaths of laughter, you see Lucas looking up at the bleachers. His face is grim, he doesnât see Mike or Dustin or Max. None of his friends showed up, and you watch him with sympathy. You canât believe them.Â
But then Lucas sees you, and he gives you a weak smile. Your attendance isnât enough, you know it isnât, but you hold up the poster you made for him and he laughs despite himself.Â
The game starts, and from the moment the whistle is blown, itâs intense. The Tigers are neck and neck with the Falcons. Steve tries to explain whatâs happening throughout the game, but it all goes over your head. The energy in the room is intoxicating, though. You lean forward in your seat, you cheer when everyone else does, boo when you think you should.
âCarver just loves hogging the spotlight, doesnât he?â Steve says with disdain as he watches Jason side sweep his teammates to score.Â
You poke his side, you know heâs only saying this because heâs still bitter that Jason tried asking you out last summer. âHoney, your jealousy is showing.âÂ
Steve tries to deny this, but then a player gets injured during a foul from Falcon, causing you and Steve to both spew insults at the player. You have no idea what the foul even is, but youâre enjoying the chaos of the game.
In the midst of your uproar, you almost miss Lucas being sent into the game. You slap Steveâs chest repeatedly to get his attention, you almost donât believe what youâre seeing. âSteve! Is thatââ
âSinclair!â He whoops, but he quickly scrambles to catch you as you nearly throw yourself off the bleachers in your blind excitement cheering. Youâre screaming your head off, hardly even registering Steveâs hands on your waist. Youâre incoherent and ecstatic, drunk on adrenaline.Â
Lucas is playing.
The game only gets more brutal from there. The points even out, both teams neck and neck. Anxious, you squeeze Steveâs hand with anticipation. Everything happens so fast, Lucas plays so naturally with the others, as if he was born to be there.Â
âGo, Tigers!â You jump up and down as Lucas runs after Jason. Theyâre doing a new play, attempting to score the tie breaker. Jason shoots, the ball hits off the backboard and onto the rim. Your breath catches, thereâs only three seconds left on the clock. The ball falls, and there isnât any time left.
Until Lucas catches the missed shot. He dribbles the ball, you clutch Steveâs hand, neither one of you utters a single word as Lucas makes the final shot. Itâs an all or nothing throw, a risk, but he takes it anyways. The ball soars through the air, hits the rim. The buzzer sounds, the game is over, and the ball spins around the rim before finally sinking through the net.
Your chest burns as you violently cheer, Steve flings himself into your arms. Youâre both jumping around, screaming together like little kids. âHey did it!â You scream, and Steve shakes you in his arms with the biggest smile on his face.
âSinclair did it!â
Down below, Lucasâ face lights up as the crowd goes wild for him. This is the happiest youâve seen the kid in so long. The entire basketball team swarms Lucas, they lift him into the air and you cheer alongside them.
Steve tells you heâll go warm the car up and you practically run outside to find Lucas as soon as the game is done. Your body buzzes, youâre still breathless with exhilaration. When you find Lucas, heâs just left the crowd of teenage boys. Wanting to surprise him, you creep up slowly before throwing your arms from behind him. âThereâs the star!â
He stumbles from your weight, but he knows itâs you. Laughing, he turns around and you pull him into a bone crushing hug. âYou came!â
âOf course I did, you moron!â You giggle, pulling away to straighten his jacket. âI made you a poster and everything.â
Lucas looks down at the poster that hangs by your side. His eyes light up, he remembers seeing it in the stands at the beginning of the game, but he hadnât been able to read it from so far away. âCan I see it?â
âIâd be offended if you didnât want to see it.â You unroll the poster and present it with a grand flourish. âTada!âÂ
Sin to win, Sinclair!
Youâre incredibly proud of the wordplay, and Lucas chuckles. Itâs good, he has to admit. Youâve left no white space on the poster, littering with small 8âs for his jersey and millions of small stickers and decorations. The poster was made with love, and Lucas knows you spent hours making it.
âI love it, Y/N.â He does. It will hang on his wall as soon as he gets home.
You beam at him. Then, from behind you, you hear your brotherâs own cheers as a door opens. Lucasâ smile fades, hurt creeps upon his face. Frowning, you turn and find Dustin and Mike high fiving their Hellfire friends as they all celebrate the end of their campaign. Erica is with them, cheering with everyone else.Â
âLucasâŠâ Your breath gives out. He doesnât deserve this. Tonight was supposed to be his night. You turn to him, wracking your brain to try and figure out what youâre even supposed to say at this moment. Fifty feet away Lucasâ close friends are celebrating a night without him, his sister overjoyed as well. Theyâve forgotten about him.
For once, you canât find the right words to say.
âThanks for the poster, Y/N.â Lucas doesnât want your sympathy. He leaves, crestfallen, and youâre left standing alone holding the poster he had been praising seconds ago. The late March air chills your bones.Â
Youâve never been so disappointed in your brother before.
âÂ
Steve drives you home and youâre silent the entire time.Â
âDustin isnât a bad kid, Y/N. You know that.â Steve tries to reason with you, but what your brother has done tonight leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. âIâm sure by tomorrow heâll realize he was a jerk and apologize. He always does, heâs just being a stupid teen boy right now.â
You face the window, watching the trees fading into the distance. You know Steve is right, you know that Dustin is still growing up, making mistakes. Hell, no one is perfect at fifteen. When you were his age you were falling in love with your best friend as you hunted monsters together. Neither you or Jonathan or Nancy knew what the hell you guys were doing back then.
But this is different. Dustin has never betrayed his friends like this before. He, out of all of them, should understand the pain of being left behind. He spent half the summer upset that the party ditched him, and now heâs ditching Lucas?
âYou know, I used to be a stupid teen boy.â Steve says, trying again to get you to say something. To look at him, at least.
It works, a small smile turns your lips. âI never knew.â
He laughs at the sarcasm in your voice, but he plays along anyways. âOh, I totally was. I just hid it really well by, you know, making you hate me for a while by being annoying. But hey, look at me now! Iâm still annoying, but at least I have it all figured out with you.â
âAnd what do you have figured out, honey?â You turn your head towards him, watch the street lamps illuminate his face.
Steve smiles. âUs. Our future. Sure, I may not know if Iâll ever get a better job, but Iâm sure as shit staying with you, starting a life together so that I can annoy you for all eternity.â
âHow romantic,â a giggle falls from your lips. Youâve been with Steve for nearly a year now, but you havenât really talked about the future yet. At least not so intimately, with so much assurance that in the end itâll be the two of you. âAnd where will we live, Romeo?â
âNew York, obviously. As soon as you graduate, weâll find some horrible, run down apartment thatâs barely big enough for two people. Weâll move in, but there wonât be any air conditioning so weâll almost murder each other in the heat. Everyone will hate the place, but weâll love it.â
As Steve talks, the smile that had once been on your face begins to fade. He rambles on, not noticing the shift. He dreams up the plans, how heâll stay home while you go to class. How heâll fix the leaky faucet that will inevitably annoy everyone. Steve envisions himself waiting for you to come home after a long day of classes and falling into his arms.Â
âSteveââ But he doesnât hear you. Heâs busy explaining how heâll probably have to sell his car to afford the apartment, but that he doesnât care, and you feel sick. Itâs too much, heâs giving up too much. Heâs willing to give up his entire life for you, drop everything and follow you without any questions asked.Â
Itâs what your mother did for your father. They met in college, both attending Purdue. Their relationship had been a whirlwind. Love at first sight, married as soon as they graduated, your father convinced your mom to follow him back to Virginia. To abandon her family and move two states over while pregnant with you. She didnât know anyone in Virginia, her father moved them to a small town where only his name was known.Â
The divorce that followed twelve years later ruined your motherâs life. She had been left all alone, no family to support her, no friends, in a state she never grew up in.
And now Steve wants to do the same for you.
Raising your voice slightly, you try to interrupt him again. âSteve!â
âWhat?â He looks over at you, words finally dying. âDo you want to keep the car?â
âYou⊠you canât.âÂ
Steve frowns. âI canât what?â
Your hands shake. Your heart trembles. Your words die in your throat. Thereâs so much you want to say, you can feel the pit in your stomach build into a fist. You canât let Steve do this. He doesnât understand that he deserves more than this. âYou-you canât come to New York.â
Everything stills. You donât dare to breathe, to disrupt the silence. Your words come out all wrong, you know they do, but theyâre out in the open and Steve doesnât look at you as he pulls into your driveway. Silent, he turns the carâs engine off.
âY/NâŠâ Steve still canât look at you. He places his hands on the steering wheel, as if bracing himself for whatever will unfold tonight. Heâs scared, he doesnât understand what heâs done wrong. His mind flashes, and for a brief second heâs back at the Halloween party and youâre Nancy in his passenger seat. âDo you not see a future with me?â
âI do!â You sit up in your seat, reach over to touch Steveâs thigh. You need to feel him, to ground yourself to him. Everything about this feels wrong. As if youâre hanging over the edge of a chasm with a long, long fall. âGod, of course I see a future with you, I just-this isnât what you really want.â
Steve doesnât want to move to New York, even if he doesnât realize it now. What heâs really doing is chasing after a dream that isnât his. The timing of this is off, he fought with his dad this morning about a future he was unsure of. You know Steve, maybe even better than he knows himself; heâs not doing it for your relationship or out of love. Steve only wants to appease his father, fulfill whatever desire he thinks you have. This isnât what he wants, and heâs worked too hard to build the life he has now, without you, to simply throw it all away.
But he canât see that right now.
âOf course this is what I want, Y/N! All I want is you.â Steve finally looks at you, but thereâs a hardness in his eyes. Heâs detaching himself from you, putting his walls up. âYou and me, thatâs what I want.â
You grab his hand, you try to keep your voice calm. âSteve, I love you so, so much, but I canât-I canât let you give everything up for me. Your life is here, in Hawkins. You have a job, you have your friends and-and your family, and it wouldnât be fair to either one of us if you abandon it for me. You could-you could resent me for it later, you could realize you hate our life and wish you never followed me andââ
âY/N, what did you think was going to happen when you were applying to all those colleges?â Steve runs a hand through his hair, he thought you were beside him this whole time. He assumed youâd been carving out the same future he had been. But he was wrong. âDid you really think Iâd just stay behind and wait for you to come home every break?â
âIâŠâ Shamefully, you hadn't been considering what would happen between you and Steve. In your mind, he was your future, he was in it, but the details were hazy. You werenât sure how, or why, or when, but you knew that in the end, Steve was the person youâd spend forever with.Â
Steve takes your hesitancy as his answer. âGod, Iâm such a fucking idiot.â
âSteveââ
âYou were just going to leave me.â
He tears his hand from yours and you blink back tears. Youâve never fought with him before, not like this. âI wasnât just going to leave you! I just-Steve, please just listen!â
âI am, Y/N!â Steve exclaims, voice reverberating the car. You flinch away, and he immediately lowers his voice, apologetic. He hadnât meant to scare you, he hadnât meant to make you cry. Ashamed, Steve turns away from you. âI-Iâm sorry.âÂ
He wants to wipe the tears heâs caused, but selfishly he also wants you to hurt like heâs hurting. You donât see a future with Steve. You were going to leave him just like everyone else does.Â
Steve shouldâve known all of this was too good to be true.Â
âI love you,â your voice is almost inaudible, the three words barely reach the light before they disappear into the dark night. Youâre not sure why you say them, the words had built in your chest, the pressure heavy, and you needed to release them. To remind Steve of your oath to him.Â
Silence fills the car. Steve doesnât look at you, his shoulders are drawn together. His jaw clenches and you know heâs trying desperately to bite his tongue, withholding the cruel words that only heartbreak can provoke.Â
âHoney,â you beg him to say something, anything. âSteve.â
âI think you should go.â
The dismissal punches your throat, knocks the wind out of you. Heâs shutting you out, closing himself off from you, and you donât understand how the two of you got here. âI⊠Are you sure?â
âYes,â Steveâs words are cool, composed. Indifferent, almost. He still doesnât look at you, his eyes remain focused on something in your driveway. âItâs late, you should get some sleep.â
âOkay,â you donât want to leave, you know it isnât good to go to bed angry with the one you love. Anger should never simmer, it should never be left unwatched. But Steve is silently asking you to give him space so that he can hurt, and you arenât selfish enough to deny his request. And yet youâre selfish enough to press your lips to Steveâs cheek, but he doesnât lean in like how normally does. Instead, he remains stoic, and you swallow down your tears and open the door to leave. âDrive home safe, honey.â
Steve doesnât say anything else. Instead, he starts the car as soon as the door is closed and drives away. He doesn't look back, he doesnât wait to see if youâve made it inside your house safely.Â
Tears spill down your face as you blindly walk towards your front door. Your argument with Steve replays over and over again in your head. You analyze every second, every word, you try to understand when everything fell apart.Â
Itâs dark in your home, your mother is asleep and Dustinâs door is closed, but right now all you want is your brother. You need to talk to him, cry into his shoulder and smell the shampoo heâs used ever since he was a baby. Your feet carry you to Dustinâs room and you pound on his door, begging him to let you in. You donât bother masking the tears in your voice, youâre too exhausted to hide them from him. âDustin, please let me in.â
âGo away!â Thereâs a thud on the door, heâs thrown something at it to shut you up. He doesnât want to hear some stupid lecture right now. He knows he was an asshole tonight, he regrets it, but right now all Dustin wants to do is sleep. Heâll deal with you tomorrow.Â
âCode blue,â you press your forehead against the door, your tears fall to the ground. âC-code blue.â Your voice hiccups, more tears come, minutes pass, and your brother never answers.
For the first time since you were kids, Dustin rejects your request for a code blue.Â
The phone rings. The sound pierces through your ears, cuts through the headache that is starting to form. Itâs Friday night. Jonathan is calling.Â
Squeezing your eyes shut as you head pounds, you inhale shakily. You have to answer him, otherwise heâll only call over and over again with concern. Youâve never missed a phone call, not once in the months since Jonathan has moved, but tonight youâre exhausted.Â
âCan we call tomorrow?â Youâre too tired to greet him and voice cracks, revealing far too much already.
âBug?â Jonathanâs high, heâs always high. And yet even in his cloudy haze of smoke he can hear the anguish in your voice. âIs everythinâ okay?â
His question only makes you cry more. Youâve always tried your best to put up a front for others, to pretend that everything is okay. Youâve never wanted to worry people, youâve always pushed aside your own hurt for the sake of others. Now, as anger and grief and despair clasp their hands around your throat, youâre terrified youâll suffocate.Â
Youâve never been able to lie to Jonathan, and tonight you donât think you can. âIâve had⊠the worst night.â You confess to him, wiping away tears.
You tell him everything, your fight with Dustin, how you think he may resent you leaving for college. You tell Jonathan about Lucas, how you were so disappointed in Dustin and Mike. Choking through tears, you explain to Jonathan your fight with Steve. How your words failed you, how hurt he looked, that you canât explain to him how he only wants his future to align with yours, but not with your relationship.Â
Even though you know that Jonathan wonât remember any of this tomorrow, for once youâre grateful that heâs too high to remember anything. It feels good just being able to say it all out loud.Â
ââM sorry, bug.â Jonathan mumbles over the phone once youâve finished explaining everything. He sounds far away, figuratively and literally. You canât imagine how much his drugged mind retained, but youâre thankful to have gotten it all off your chest anyways.Â
âItâs fine,â you inhale again, youâve finally stopped crying, though your chest still hurts and your head still pounds. âSteve and I⊠Weâll figure it out.â
Jonathan pauses, and for a moment you think heâs fallen asleep, but then his voice floats through the telephone line. âDo you.. Do you ever wonder if weâve made a mistake?â
He strings his words slowly together, says them one by one with a hesitancy, and you frown. You donât understand what heâs trying to say. What mistakes could you have made together? âWhat do you mean, bee?â
âI just⊠everythinâ is so hard. With Nance. Feel like⊠like âm never enough for her. And you, Steve. âS hard between you guys.â Jonathanâs words slur, heâs almost too incoherent to understand, and later you will wish that you hadnât been able to understand him at all. âBut you ân me? âS easy. Always so easy.â
His words toe the line between you, he canât mean any of it. You donât want him to mean any of it, because then the fallout would be too catastrophic to contain.
Heâs Jonathan. Your oldest, dearest friend. Your best friend. Years ago, you couldâve been something more, you almost were something more, but the time has passed.Â
Youâre with Steve now, youâre happy and so, so in love with him. Even though everything is tangled between you right now, even though youâre fighting, you know that you and Steve will figure it out. Heâs the one. Heâs the man you want to marry one day, if heâll allow you to.Â
Jonathan is your past, Steve is your future, and right now youâre terrified that soon youâll lose them both.
âJonathan,â you finally say, his name now heavy on your tongue. It feels like youâre betraying someone while saying his name, but you need to end this conversation. Before Jonathan says something heâll regret in the morning. âYou love Nancy, I love Steve, and you need to go to sleep.â
âLove you,â Jonathanâs words slur even more, his voice drifting off. âYou, always youâŠâ
You slam the phone done, ending the call, as a chill runs down your spine. Silence encases you, the house is still. The strings and threads from years ago constrict around your throat. You choke on the lines Jonathan has crossed tonight, the tightness in your head stabs against your skull.Â
There is no one to hear you, no one there to hear your final words to your best friend. âGoodbye, Jonathan.â
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â thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3
#steve harrington x henderson!reader#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#stranger things#steve harrington fanfic#stranger things rewrite#slowburn#angst#bdyr#m's writing#SEASON 4 EVERYONE CHEER !!!!#also i dont hate eddie but bug does#lmao
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Imagine reader artist, who loves to draw Miguel. And the other day she's just drawing naked Miguel's body. He saw it and just smirks and say: "I've got bigger than that" or "I could show/pose for accuracy"
TW: raunchy smut, Dom!miguel, fem reader, smut with no plot.
A/N: I wrote half of this while at work and a little drunk. So here ya go. Also currently in the process of writing a part two.
Miguelâs face filled your sketchbook, his back in his spider suit, his mask, every angle you could find him at. You often sat in his office for hours while he did reports, sketching him and drawing him. You loved using different mediums and colors, giving him new features and styles. You specifically loved practicing drawing his broad body and sculpted as-
Ahem. Legs.
Yes, ok, fine, you had a small crush on your boss, whatever, no big deal.
You would purposefully finish all of your work as fast as possible so you could sit back and draw him. And because you werenât loud or annoying, and everything was always done on time and orderly, he let you.
But one mission in particular made him stressed out, and as you watched him filling out data about the anomaly heâd just captured, he glitched his suit down his torso and injected himself with that mysterious green liquid, entrancing you for those glorious few seconds.
It was very obvious he had a nice body, duh. But you never let your mind go too far in imagining him out of his suit, scared to go into a territory you couldnât back out of.
And now you did, drawing his torso and pecks, shading his abs, and this got you curious about more.
Lower.
Biting your lip, you sat in the cafeteria a few days later. You purposefully sat with your back to a wall, making sure no one could sneak up on you and see what you were drawing, as you drew him laying down. His arms splayed behind his head, face relaxed, as you defined his leg muscles. As you finished the piece of art, the only area youâd avoided was his groin.
And now you stared at the empty area of art, knee bouncing from anxiety about how you were supposed to draw this. You had no reference for him. Yes, youâd seen dicks before, obviously. You lived in a universe with unrestricted internet access, so itâs not like youâd never been around the block, but here you were, blushing like a 15 year old just because of a dick.
Drawing and then erasing and drawing, you repeated the process a few times before you heard someone click their tongue in front of you. Youâd been so consumed by what you were doing, you didnât even feel your spider senses or hear them come close.
Miguel stood with an eyebrow raised and his hands on his hips, eyeing you curiously. âWhy are you so jumpy?â He asked and you snatched the book in front of you to your chest, stuttering some bullshit answer about too much caffeine. He just nodded and continued giving you a new order.
You got up from your seat and moved to follow him to his cold, dark lair area. As you were about to step onto his platform, you tripped and your hands flew out to stabilize your fall. As you did, the notebook flew across the floor and slid as your vision blurred from how fast youâd collapsed, getting up slowly and rolling your shoulders. You reached to where the sketch book had fallen, but it was no longer there.
No.
NO.
It was between his fingers, as he flipped through the pages slowly, eyeing your work with his brows furrowed, focused. You jumped towards him and he just turned his back, making you feel like you ran into a wall. You reached around him and he webbed your wrist to the table beside you, still not tearing his eyes from your work.
âStop, thatâs private! Give it back!â You shouted and he rolled his eyes briefly.
âItâs all drawings of me, I think Iâm allowed to see-â and his words stopped as he flipped to the newest page.
The nude drawing of him.
You gulped as his expression became unreadable, stoic, and your eyes flashed between the art and him. âI-I was just practicing forms and poses-â
âItâs⊠inaccurate.â He spoke lowly before your eyes blinked for a moment, confused.
âWhat do you mean?â
He walked to you and stood tall, bending down slightly to stare directly into your eyes. His mouth turned up at the ends and his eyes glittered with something youâd never seen in him before.
Turning the book back to you and showing you your own drawing, he smirked deeper.
âIâm much bigger.â His eyes were almost challenging you, making your blood run ice cold, and you felt his hands yank your body against his. âDo you want to see for reference?â
And then his watch made a loud sound, Lyla popping up to explain some anomaly on earth number whatever. He groaned and turned to walk out. âIâll be back once this is done. Donât go anywhere because When I do return, weâre continuing where we left off.â
Then he was gone and you stood, mouth agape from the whole exchange. You thought it might take a while for him to capture this anomaly, so Youâd decided to go back to your own universe in preparation, showering and fixing yourself up. You bit your nail nervously as you thought about it all. Was he serious? No way, rightâŠ?
As you stood in the bathroom mirror, the sound of a portal opening cut through your mind like a knife, making your body rush into your living room. You gripped the towel tight around your torso as you saw Miguel walk out of the colorful dimension behind him and into yours. The portal closed and with that, his mask disintegrated so you could see his face. A bit tired, he still had a less-than-enthusiastic expression on.
âI thought I told you not to go anywhere.â He repeated and you stood stuff as a board, now a bit scared. He took slow, calculated steps towards you as your head tilted back to continue watching him. âInaccurate and disobedient. I have a lot to teach you, donât I?â His index finger hooked under your chin as he smirked and grabbed your hand with his free one, pulling you into your bathroom. He looked around for a second before hitting a button on his watch and letting the fabric disappear.
You bit your lip as your eyes took full advantage of his exposed skin. âYou- it-â
âYeah. I know.â He grabbed your wrist and spun you around, bending you over your counter with your hand breached against your back. âNow I want you to really study how I fuck you, so that you get a good look at how big I am, and how easy I can maneuverïżŒ this body.â He whispered into your damp hair and pushed down, then ripping the towel away and throwing it out of the bathroom completely.
His eyes stared down at your weeping cunt and he licked his lips. âIâll be tasting you another time. Today, I want you to really feel my size.â He was cocky, and he had a right to be. His dick was huge, almost alarmingly big.
The tip of his cock pressed against your entrance and you clenched your jaw. âItâs gonna hurt, but Iâll go slow. That way you can feel good and still learn.â He cooed in a teasing tone and your eyes found his in the mirror, watching intently as he began to push into you. The sudden width he was stretching you to was mind numbing and your knees began to buckle, but he just held you up with one hand, the other still guiding himself into you.
âCoño, your sucking me in so nicely, might not even need to slow down.â He spoke and your eyes were rolling back from his words, to which you snapped out of once his hand that was holding you up held your face harshly towards the mirror. âNo slacking, little girl. You better keep your eyes on my cock.â
Halfway inside, and you were already fluttering around him, on the verge of orgasm. âThatâs it, sucia, cum on my cock. Itâll be the first time of many.â You shivered at his words, feeling him sink in further and immediately orgasming. The rolls of pleasure washing through you made him grunt as his hips couldnât help but rut into you harshly. The lack of prep had you feeling everything he was giving you, hyper aware of your insides wrapping around him.
âMm, wanna fuck me back? Grind back onto my cock? Paciencia, Nena.â He instructed as you kept trying to get him in further. Wrapping a hand around your torso, he tweeked at your nipples and made you gasp from the sensation. âThatâs it,â he mumbled.
Finally, smirked, he chuckled darkly as you tried once more to thrust backwards. âFine, you asked for it.â He met your eyes in the mirror, now blood red and swirling with the threat as he snapped his hips forward and forced the rest of him into you, making you gargle out a strained sound in shock and pleasure. The pain was beautiful, and began to subside quickly as you felt him twitch. He hit every spot and more, feeling new depths and points of pleasure.
Tears welled in the corners of your eyes as he started aïżŒ slightly faster pace. Your body jiggled from the movements and the sound of skin slapping against skin filled your apartment, your mouth hanging open as your eyes never left were his dick was buried into you. He smiled, enjoying the way you watched his cock disappear into you over and over, and you felt the pressure building once more. How he bullied your cunt and grinned while doing it made you burst, tears breaking free and a scream ripping through you as your pussy squeezed him.
âFuck, so tight.â He groaned, head now falling back and he kept going, beginning to chase his own high. Your mind had shut off now, fucked practically stupid on his cock and he rocking into you mercilessly. His speed was unmatched and he moved to pick up your hips to meet his, closing the gap your height difference had created, and finally having him slam into you until his hips met your ass, making you choke on your own oxygen from the absolute brutal beating he was giving your cervix.
He slid one hand to the back of your neck and pressed you further into the counter top of your sink, forcing your pert nipples to meet the cold marble and you cried out more, barely able to push back against him now as you were trapped between his body and your bathroomâs confinementsïżŒ with only your top toes touching the floor. Your face was streaked with tears as he grunted and let out ragged breaths.
âThe perfect little pussy, so perfect for my cock. You can take it, little artist. You wanted to draw my cock so badly, now you have the perfect image to do it. Fucked deep inside of you. Draw us like this for me, yeah? I wanna see it everyday. Or should I just fuck you every day instead?â His words tumbled from his mouth like an avalanche and you could feel his cock about to burst, making you teeter over that cliff as well. âThatâs it, strangle my cock. Cum all over me, niña, paint me with your cute cunt.â He demanded and you obliged, feeling a shooting electric sensation rip out of you. Suddenly, you were both a bit wet between the thighs and he was mesmerized by what he saw. Your juices squirt all over him and he came instantly after seeing that, pounding into you as far as he could and forcing his cum the deepest it could be inside of you.
Both of you were unmoving as you caught your breath, a layer of sweat covering you both as you stared at each other in the mirror. No words could describe what had just happened and Miguel smiled once more, which prompted you to ask.
âWhat?â
âYou need to get a mirror by your bed. Because I want to do this to you every day.â He watched your eyes widen in the mirror in front of you both as he licked your neck from behind and sinking his fangs into your soft skin, jutting his hips once more and making you realize he was still hard.
âFor art purposes.â
Part two is out!
#miguel spiderverse#miguel x reader#miguel oâhara smut#miguel oâhara#miguel oâhara x reader#miguel spiderman#miguel o'hara#miguel smut#angst#miguel ohara smut#smut
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I got a comment from someone saying I was clearly pushing the trans agenda due to how I wrote one scene. The scene in question is a character who had once had his memories forcefully erased against his will, who has regained some of those memories as well as his ability to use magic, putting on an outfit that accidentally is very similar to what he used to wear when going into magical combat. It hits him how completely correct this feels and he has a whole moment internally where he realizes no matter what the person trying to manipulate his memories has told him, he is magical and he is strong and he can handle things on his own. He doesn't need to be hidden away and coddled like a child. He's an adult. He's got this.
Apparently this read like a trans allegory, which... as a cis man I feel like I've gained new insights into trans people. I'm sure the commenter was going for, "this is like trans. By which I mean, it's bad." but what I got was, "this is like trans. By which I mean, they deal with a lot of invalidation by people who claim to only want the best for them and it's exhausting and hard but being themselves is as vital to their mental health as breaking away from his abuser was for this character."
And now I'm rereading my work through a whole new lens. Rereading all of it - the invalidation of real experiences he had, the denial of memories he had, the constant silencing of his voice in his own house, the tight control on his every action, the way he was consistently pushed into being someone and something he fundamentally was not, and the fact that if he ever chafed under that manipulation and abuse he was seen as the bad guy here - I feel like I've gotten an accidental glimpse into the lives of trans people. Specifically, holy shit this would be miserable to try to live through. Particularly when, unlike in fiction, you can't escape via magic and sheer force of will. I feel like someone just turned to me and went, "Hey, that agony you've been writing? A ton of people are quietly enduring it every second of every day."
It seems so obvious in retrospect that I feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. Not the allegory, I mean, the sheer weight of what trans people go through.
I have never been so grateful for a hate comment. It really helped open my eyes to some things.
--
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àšà§ â§âË â
taking a steamy bath with rafayel
warnings: suggestive content, rafayel and my delusions, slight nudity (male), not proof read bc iâm too ashamed of what i wrote
character: rafayel
link to master list here~
authorâs notes; written because of rafayelâs misty invitation card.
i donât write smut because i think iâd pass away from embarrassment but this card? this card almost turned me to the dark side.
more under the cut :3
âHey cutie, why donât we wash off together?â
painting and baking are not similar. at all.
one is the creation of visual art and one is the creation of edible art
so i donât know why you and rafayel are surprised when your cake just, exploded. well not the cake but the icing bag sure did.
rafayel claims it wasnât his fault, but he tried to pipe the icing without cutting the fucking bag, so he was just squeezing the bag until it popped.
good job.
now youâre both splattered with bits of red icing - and if you squinted hard enough it looked as if you two where the prime suspects of a murder
you donât even get mad at the now very messy cake - instead opting to laugh at rafayel who is clearly distressed at the icing covering his hands and upper half of his body
âUgh, is this going to stain my shirt?â
of course, typical rafayel whining.
you notice some icing dripping down his jaw - down his neck - and grin, thinking of a new way to tease the distressed lumerian
so of course, rather than just wiping it off with a tissue, or your thumb, you decide that sticking out your tongue and gently lick his neck.
you lick his neck.
his neck.
rafayel immediately flushes, a delicious look of utter confusion, fluster and shock blend into one as you pull back
oh the emotions on his face are just priceless, or very hot.
depends if you like your men partially dumbfounded and partially (very) attracted simultaneously
âHey⊠[YN] what are you doing?â
awwwwhjswhd heâs going to be turning so red, he flushes too easily for his own good
you notice the flush, how it spreads from his cheeks to the tips of his ears, down his neck and chest
silently you wonder if his nipples blush too
keep licking up small bits of the icing on him, caressing your tongue over his collar bones, make sure to suck off every last drop of that icing
the icing is sweet - or is it rafayel?
his breathing gets heavier, and small sighs of content leave his lips every now and then
his face is kind of scrunched into a frown, youâd think he was walking in baked beans with bare feet with how displeasured he looked (specific i know) but really he was just trying not to make more noises
one of his hands are covering his mouth, palm facing outwards, as if he were trying to muffle his own noises
unfortunately that concept doesnât sit well with you (nor me) - so you decide to get a little more friskyâŠ
as you kiss his neck, pop open the top button of his shirt and part it, dip down and nibble along his collar bone
his hands that were pushing you back are now just holding onto you, his eyes a little dazed, trying to focus on your face - but whenever you look up at him he gets too embarrassed and looks away
kiss, bite, lick at his freckles/beauty marks on his skin and heâll shudder - trying to prevent any blood travelling south
now heâs letting out more noises, and his grip on you tightens again as he pants
when he finally pulls you up his face is dusted in a beautiful blush, eyebrows furrowed but his pupils are dilated - his chest is exposed showing you that his nipples do in-fact blush - horray!
pushing you back, rafayel takes in your figure, eyes scanning you from bottom to top before they focus on your eyes
âYouâve got icing all over you too⊠[YN]â
you sometimes forget how strong rafayel is - yet when he scoops you up bridal style and carries you to the bathroom you quickly dismiss the idea of a frail, unfit painter
he swiftly switches on the bath before you go back to absolutely ravaging the poor man
iâm talking shirt open, mouth-on-chest, eye rolling goodness
at some point your shirt and trousers were discarded on the floor - and his shirt was flung out the door as you two continue to caress each other
trail your fingers down his abdomen, trace his subtle v-line, tease the skin at the hem of his trousers before you pop open the button and slide them off
his eyes never leave your hands, you notice his breath hitching every time your nails stretch gentle against his skinâŠ
dance your finger-tips around his very obvious âproblemâ and listen to him whine disappointed as you pull away, opting to wrap your arms around the back of his neck
the bath finally fills and you both tumble into it, the warm water and soap soaking into your under garments
rub soap along his waist and abdomen and heâll repress a small moan, causing you to comment on how sensitive his skin is
âIn the water my senses are heightened, including how you feel against my skinâŠâ
maybe itâs a lumerian thing? or maybe itâs a rafayel thing?
either way itâs enticing how easily he reacts to your ministrations so youâre not complaining
cup his face in your hands and caress his cheek with your thumb, rubbing against his smooth, milky skin and watch a small sigh tremble out of his lips
thumb at his bottom lip, and watch his eyes flutter slightly as he waits for more
slide your hands from his face to his chin and hold it, glide your hand down his neck then chest and watch his breathing visibly quicken with the rise and fall of his chest
âYour way of triggering my senses has only touched the surfaceâŠâ
this comment makes you want to tease him more, i mean watching him shiver and twitch under your fingertips?
who doesnât want to see rafayel like that??
so, as any sane person would do, you hook your fingers under his silver necklace and tug him towards you - both your half naked bodies sliding together as he groans at the contact
you lean into his collarbone and suck a hickey into his skin, tongue gliding over the bruise as he audibly gasps at the realisation
his eyes visibly glaze over with lust as you mark him up - his restraint snapping as he pushes himself on top of you
his arms cage you beneath him, and his gaze looks starved, as if just being with you you wasnât enough he needed you to be his, and his alone
rafayelâs sudden surge of dominance jolts you as he holds your chin to face him
despite his dominance you see his fluster and arousal plastered across his face as he whispers out -
âYour body is warm, I like that.â
- before he finally leans in to kiss you
his lips are soft, a stark contrast to the intensity of which he kisses you
his hands are trailing all over your body, savouring the feel of your plush skin against his palms
you can feel him bite your bottom lip - eliciting a gasp from you as he slides his tongue between your lips
rafayel is lost in you, the taste of you, the feeling of you against him, the sounds you let out, the fragrant smell of the bath soap and the sight of you oh rafayel is absolutely gone
his grip on your waist tightens as he fully immerses himself in you, only thinking of you, only knowing you and what you taste like in that moment.
when you two finally break apart, thereâs a small saliva bridge between your spit-soaked lips - and you can see just how flushed rafayel is
red lips, hickey-ed up, and youâre not daft enough not to notice something prodding prominently against your thighâŠ
â[YN], how about we test my senses a bit moreâŠâ
AN; again i wrote half of this last night and half of this when i woke up but when i was writing i had this sharp pang of shame like⊠this poor poor man doesnât even know half of the shit iâd like to see him doing and also the fact that my parents migrated to an english-speaking country only for their daughter to use that power to write about a fictional character ANYWAYS I HEART RAFAYEL đŁïž
#â§âș writing#love and deepspace#love and deepspace rafayel#lnd#lnds#lads#lnd rafayel imagine#lnds rafayel#rafayel x you#lads rafayel#rafayel x reader#rafayel#rafayel smut#love and deepspace smut#lnd smut#i need him#need to breed
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Dear marzi, for reasons of trying not to give period characters too modern fetishes in my smut, may I have some recs as to where I may find some of that olde fetish content you've previously seen?
On the Wikipedia page for the "corset controversy," unfortunately!
Historians have been taking obvious tightlacing fetish letters seriously for...way too long. And sometimes still are. Confirmation bias is a hell of a thing. Of course, there's no way to 100% tell which letters are fetish fuel and which are real, but generally any that use particularly heightened language or common erotic tropes- or that seem to fly in the face of evidence from extant garments, unedited videos, stock and advertisements from real corset companies, etc. -are to be viewed with suspicion.
(The same is true for letters used now to claim that nipple piercing was a real Victorian trend- for, indeed, the only source is anonymous magazine letters and many of them fall into the same obvious patterns as the tightlacing letters. One DOES describe the alleged process in detail...but it's basically the same as the process for ear-piercing, a service jewelers did commonly offer back then. Just applied to nipples. So whether it's real or not is still uncertain, but it's highly doubtful that large numbers of Victorian women were running around with nipple piercings given that no extant nipple rings have been found, such piercings are never mentioned in letters or diaries or other more concrete sources, etc.)
Besides that, I've seen glimpses of most modern fetishes in various sources:
the Psychopathia Sexualis, a medical manual of "sexual mental illness" (in heavy quotes because things like homosexuality and gender variance are mentioned under that heading), talks about everything from a fetish for tight boots and gloves on women, to bloodplay (initiated by a woman, actually, who wanted to drink her husband's blood), to force-femming, to some very elaborate femdom scenarios that I hope the sex workers in question were paid well for. Of course, since the cases are anonymous, these are also difficult to confirm- but clearly someone had THOUGHT of them, since they're written into the book.
And I've seen at least some of them in other sources, too, including some of the magazines that published the nipple piercing and tightlacing letters. The Englishwomen's Domestic Magazine was notorious for its letters on tightlacing, tight gloves, spanking, etc.
Photographic porn was definitely a thing almost as soon as photography came into being. A lot of it is pretty vanilla, but I could swear I'd seen piss kink photos (with urine painted in after development) before the blog where they were hosted went defunct
James Joyce's letters to his wife get into farting and scat fetish territory. Yes, really.
Speaking of letters, there was one man living here in Boston who, in the late 19th century, wrote letters to his wife describing erotic dreams of her as a giantess who pissed on him and then ate him. I cannot remember his name and it's going to drive me insane all day, but he was the head of Boston's censorship organization, the Watch and Ward society and these letters were first released by his own children for an unauthorized biography written five years after his death. Guess there was little love lost there.
BDSM is old. Like, really old. Old, to quote the sacred texts, as balls. I'm pretty sure there are sexual flagellation texts going back to the Renaissance, but don't quote me on that.
Basically, Rule 34 can be back-applied, too. If it existed, there was a fetish for it, probably. Of course, things that specifically involve modern technology or properties are out, but beyond that...the sky is the limit
#long post#ask#anon#victorian#history#n.s.f.w.#'oh at school we were all laced down to 15â waists!!!!!' yeah most corset companies' stock only went down to 19â#and that's 19â CLOSED. most women wore their corsets with a 2â gap in the back or thereabouts#I've read one interview with a corsetier who said 'yeah women sometimes give their corset's closed measurement as their waist size'#'to make it sound smaller'#'but wearing it with a gap is standard'
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Drawing Likeness: with Tem!
okaay since a few people actually showed interest in me sharing a bit of what I've been doing to figure out how to really capture likeness, specifically Temuera Morrison, I figured id do my best to write it out
I am also going to entice you with some of my recent clone art! (oooh some of it is unreleaaasedd)
I am putting the whole thing under the cut because I have a feeling its going to be long:
Read more!!!
a couple disclaimers before we start
-This is not some definite post about how everyone should be drawing clones, nor is it in any way claiming that this is the right way. This is just my musings as I stare at a mans face for way too long and try to replicate it
-I am inexperienced. As kind as you all are to me, drawing real people is relatively new to me, capturing a persons identity through their features is difficult for anybody, and I am no different. I have watched many a video on likeness and had my share of classes, but If im being honest, i rarely put it into practice successfully. So there'll probably be errors in this post or things i will come back to in a few months and wish I had said/done differently
ANYWAYs you guys get my vibe im just here to ramble and today we are rambling about mr copy paste. I am doing this for Law, my clone boy, because I plan on delving further into oc fanart and I want to put effort into representing him correctly!
SO LETS BEGIN
Before even deciding what specific pose of a person I want to draw, I tend to grab a bunch of references and compile them like so
(all of these can be found on my pinterest)
Why so many? Well, we are about to delve into facial features, so when we are dealing with photos we have to take into account that there are an abundance of circumstances that will influence how a persons face will appear, some of these include:
focal length: All of these are taken on different devices, and focal length can play a big part in distorting faces
age will play a part, your face changes a bunch throughout your life!
lighting, while not as major, can muddy the waters and make it difficult to interpret facial planes and features
SO, to make sure we get a proper grasp of what's really going on, I like to make sure we have lots of options to compare and contrast with.
Next up! What I like to do is block out the main facial features with colour on different layers, the features I block out usually are the general face shape, eyebrows, eyes, nose and lips. But what you are looking for is the defining features of a person, so that could include other things! Maybe a scar, or some particularly prominent cheekbones.
I dont have any rhyme or reason when it comes to picking my colours, all that matters is you can see all the shapes clearly.
Now I may be biased, because Ive been staring at these for 4 hours, but notice how it still looks like Tem? :D
Anyways, now we can break these parts down, and you'll see what I mean about compare and contrast:
We'll start with isolating the facial shape, putting all these next to eachother you'll notice they arent exactly the same (partly because of my shoddy work) But the distinguishing features run through each shape! Namely the very soft rectangular shape I sketched out in the bottom right there. Along with his soft, wide jaw structure.
I did the same for the rest of his features!
You'll notice I highlight the prominent shapes and ratios,
When drawing anything, it is important to start from the very base shapes and build up.
When drawing something you want to look like someone, those shapes relative to other shapes is what makes it look like them.
I didnt use the same technique with his eyes and lips, but I wrote out some helpful info for them! More importantly for his eyes.
When drawing eyes, I find the most important part is where exactly I draw the creases, (along with the overall shape of the eye itself) it is important to understand where those will present themselves with hooded eyes.
NOW, with an understanding of his facial features in place, lets take a detour to colours:
before I start, a couple things to note:
-Temuera morrison versus the clone troopers in the animated shows:
While I love the animated shows they don't exactly stay close to their source material. Im going to link here to an excellent post discussing whitewashing specifically in relation to the clones.
Temuera is MÄori, of Te Arawa (NgÄti Whakaue) and Tainui (NgÄti Maniapoto, NgÄti Rarua) whakapapa, and also has Scottish and Irish ancestry.
The MÄori people are the indigenous Polynesian people of mainland New Zealand (Aotearoa). MÄori originated with settlers from East Polynesia. MÄori people often vary in skin tone, Skin colour doesn't determine ethnicity. There's often a correlation but it's not a requirement.
But that is a tangent! What we are aiming for is to stay true to Temuera.
Bringing back my reference photos from before, Ive colour picked a buncha values and theyre all over the place. Why doesnt this work?
Similarly to earlier, you have to take into account the photos themselves. Many things like lighting, colour grading (when it comes to filmography) and makeup, can alter how a skin colour presents in photo.
You can attempt to get true to life by swatching from certain places on the face. Here I've tried to pick some photos with good lighting, and I've also tried to avoid overly lit/shaded areas.
Tem has a very warm, tan skin tone, Instead of colour picking I tend to try and replicate it myself, but I do often bring in references to make sure Im staying true to the source!
a brief intermission to talk about colour theory, something I myself struggle with alot. Often, when putting in flat colours without a background, I will forget to make sure the colours i intend to use will work with the skin tone i have picked! (something that is apparent in older works of mine, not just in relation to clones, but in general, the colours I end up with stray largely from their original sources and it is something I am doing my best to keep in mind and improve in! Although I don't think i am nearly experienced enough in the topic to say I have succeeded yet lol.)
anyways back to Tem :))
Now we can put all of that into practice! Things to keep in mind when drawing out a piece next to a reference like this:
the distance between the eyebrows? how far down his face does his nose go? Basically just, in relation to eachother, where do all those shapes we found earlier, sit?
The screenshot above is from before I did it myself, but instead of directly tracing from the reference, a handy trick I use it to complete your sketch first, and then overlay a traced version to see where your inconsistencies are! Alternatively, you could move your sketch over the image, but I didnt do it that way so!! uh!! im sure it works exactly the same!!!!
When it comes to a final illustration, or any sketch that isnt a direct study, of course you can push and pull and stylise! You'll see below that I'm not exactly 1:1 to my reference photo either.
The important thing with stylisation, or at least my own personal understanding of stylisation is that you need to thoroughly understand the thing you are stylizing! "You need to know the rules to break them" and all that. While shapes, lines and rendering can change, when it comes to drawing someone, and making it look like them, you have to make sure to keep their core features true to source. Caricature can capture a persons vibe whilst drastically exaggerating features, but it will only look like them if you KEEP THOSE FEATURES!!!! SHAPES!!! AHHH!!
But that is just my perspective on the discussion of style versus realism, please dont take is as Law, I dont know what Im on about half the time!!
anyways, after fixing your sketch, add local colours!
I rexified him because why tf not! But this is where you can go crazy with that clone personalization!
And then here is a very very barely rendered version (if you guys want me to explain how i RENDER that would need to be a completely different post, and I havent had anyone ask about it yet so who knows! maybe one day) But I digress, hopefully you learnt something new through my ramblings! It has certainly helped me organize my thoughts and I have also found some areas I would like to focus more on in the future to improve my own art!
TLDR: In order to understand an object, be it a face or a building or literally anything, you have to break it down to its simplest forms, understanding LARGER shapes will help you immensely in the long run
If you guys like this sorta content do let me know! I'd be down to do similar things for armor/anything really, I am very anti gatekeep so really anything at all you want to know! Send me an ask :))
also if you see a spelling mistake.. i donât know how that got there
#can you tell im nervous#iâve never done anything like this BEFORE SPARE ME PLEASE#star wars#star wars fanart#digital art#my art <3#digital aritst#the clone wars#clone trooper#temuera morrison#tutorial#soulars yaps#soulars tutorial
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the world at its beginning, dustin pearson // mosaic, linda pastan [Link to IHLâs Solar Bears connects NHL Draft prospect to Orlando] // Goin' high: Hughes chooses No. 86 with Devils // twice your size, declan mckenna // jeff bassett // blue is beautiful amy but the story is so the '90s, farrah field // what it means to be alive at the time of the resurrection of the dead, michalle gould // Quinn Hughes impresses youngest brother Luke with All-Star play // mozart songbook, joan larkin // siblings, paul klee // closeness lines, olivia de recat // andrew hancock // brother's keeper, young the giant // jason e. miczek // michigan athletics // "he ain't heavy, he's my brother", the hollies // luke hughes can follow brothers as first-round pick at 2021 nhl draft // genesis (from music for the dead and resurrected), valzhyna mort // jack hughes once had his braces 'ripped off his face' in a moment of sibling rivalry //
After Abel, Dante Ămile // sportingnews // Cain, JosĂ© Saramago (trans. Margaret Jull Costa) // Dave Sandford // Kin, Clan and Community in Proto-Indo-European Society, Birgit Anette Olsen // ESPN // Wikipedia // ESPN // Jeff Vinnick // Genesis, Valzhyna Mort // Puckprose // I Cast It Away, My Body, William Bearhart // Puckprose // Cain slaying Abel, Abraham Bloemaert (1590) // NHL // Clive Baker // Puckprose // NHL // Murder Ballad in the Land of Nod, Traci Brimhall // Freep // The Changes of Cain: Violence and the Lost Brother in Cain and Abel Literature, Ricardo J. Quinones // penticton western news // The Book of a Monastic Life, Rainer Maria Rilke (trans. Anita Barrows and Joanna Macy) // "A Brother Named Gethsemane", Natalie Diaz // NHL // NHL // Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan on 16 November 1581, Ilya Repin (1883-1885) NHL // Brothers, Dan Pagis (trans. Shirley Kaufman) // Fox News // NHL // NHL // Wikipedia // Fox News // NHL // Cain, JosĂ© Saramago (trans. Margaret Jull Costa) // Allaboutthejersey // Allaboutthejersey // Jewish Literacy, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
#OH I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT TUMBLR USER NATIONAL HOCKEY LESBIAN WOULD HAVE MADE IT *WORSE* THIS IS A CONSPIRACY 2 OF MY FAVORITE EDIT MAKERS#yâall really. pls excuse the imposition but i wanted to contribute <3 pls go reblog the original & addition & also come join me in the bog#S T O P#quinn hughes#jack hughes#luke hughes#sorry it is not as graceful not as composed it is nearly midnight & i am on four hours of sleep so we are off the rails :)#hi besties. i wrote that tag at 11 pm. it is now 3:33 AM sorry to OP i went like. absolutely unhinged if you want me to turn it into my ow#post just say the word i think i lost a little bit of the precise catholic guilt focus but i am vaguely on theme#i think#granted at this point i don't know if i would know#and i'm not going to be unhinged about hugheses and 3s because i can't do that but 3:33AM? on god?#anyway i will come put my original tags from the original post here in the morning but i have to be awake in approximately 2 hours BYEEEEEE#liv in the replies#HI IâM BACK everyone please kindly ignore the fact that genesis is on this post twice even thought i SPECIFICALLY checked eight times#to make sure it wasnât used ghostgenoâs original post but. it is the thing that kicked this off for me & also itâs maybe my second favorite#if not favorite part of the brainworms because of my favorite line in the poem (arenât we the keepers of our dead) and yes#with the childhood and death of innocence both literal and metaphorical cain committed the first murder before that there was no such thing#anyway now here are the original tags that i had when i first saw the post:#OP YOU USUALLY MAKE ME FEEL UNHINGED BUT THIS ONE IS SO. THIS ONE IS SOOOOOO OH MY GOD THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT THE HUGHESES I *HAVE* A POST ABT#AM I MY BROTHERâs KEEPER THE ABEL/CAIN POEM sorry i am shrieking but donât want to just keep yelling in your tags so imagine everything is#still at a frequency that could shatter glass and that i am wailing facedown into the bottom of a peat bog. i feel so many things oh my god#like can we talk about the divine threes and the perfection of the narrative of three hugheses and how they slot so well into their roles &#is that them or the narrative thatâs been woven around them how do you untangle who you would be without it/because of it/the difference#would quinn be an eldest daughter if he wasnât jack always in the middle i have to FIND!! my unhinged posts!! i was just reading in my notes#the ending of the one where jack thinks heâll always have lukey to look up to him but the betrayal when luke sided w/quinn about something &#thereâs a beautiful art piece of quinn/jack/luke that my brain built some kind of universe around where quinn was the desolation jack was#desire & luke was disgust & iâm literally so obsessed with it even if i canât flesh out the concept for the life of me & basically what iâm#trying to say is that the hugheses narrative is fucking FASCINATING & if i think about it for too long i vibrate into the sun (son) & cease#i also. i didnât know how to do it but there are very much hugheses vibes in âthe prisoner of chillonâ
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