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#very slim chance of a happier ending??? perhaps???
thebiscuiteternal · 8 months
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Okokok, finally getting at least one "Things I'll Probably Never Write" post finished, and it's the one that goes in the file drawer of "Huaisang Is Accidentally Or Intentionally Given The Wrong Impression About The Circumstances Of His Brother's Sickness And/Or Death, Blames And Ruins Himself Trying To Prevent It/Bring Da-ge Back"
(whew, god)
SO.
One night in the time period between the bonfire incident and the would-have-been-fatal qi deviation, something... weird happens at the Unclean Realms in the middle of the night. The guards who were awake at the time it happened registered it as if (to rip off a description from an early aughts webcomic) the whole world magnified with a loud "whump" noise before everything went back to normal.
While most of them don't see it as a big deal since nothing dangerous seems to have happened, a couple of guards go to wake Nie Mingjue because their sect leader would be very annoyed to only hear about it in the morning and his anger has been uuuuuuhhhhh little bit touchy ever since that last fight with his brother.
Despite the odd hour, when Nie Mingjue rolls out of bed to take the report, he feels... fine. Great even. He can't remember the last time his head was so clear and the humming bond between him and Baxia was so vibrant.
Except Baxia is also practically pacing around the inside of his skull in distress about something that she can't seem to put in words, and none of this can possibly be coincidence.
So he scatters the guards to try and find the source of the disturbance, he finds himself at Nie Huaisang's door.
They haven't spoken in weeks and Huaisang has pretty much been avoiding him and while even thinking about his little brother would piss him off just the day before, now that he's suddenly healthy again, his feelings are a lot more complicated.
He'll deal with that later though, for now, Huaisang should at least be warned of what's going on-
The door's locked. Not just locked, bolted.
Nie Mingjue's just getting ready to knock and call out when he registers the smell of blood.
A lot of it.
(rest is going under a cut for injury description and also someone writing themselves a suicidal pep talk)
Nie Mingjue and one of the guards who comes running at his shout wind up breaking down the door to Nie Huaisang's room.
Aside from the biggest/heaviest pieces of furniture, it's still pretty starkly empty since Huaisang hadn't gotten around to replacing any of the burnt stuff, which only makes the huge array on the floor and the horrible mess of a body lying on it stand out even more.
Nie Mingjue barely recognizes his own brother under all the blood from what was clearly an induced qi deviation.
By some miracle, Huaisang is still breathing when the healers arrive, but he's in such bad shape that they have to restart his heart twice before finally managing to get him into a stable coma.
If a coincidence was unlikely before, it's impossible now. Nie Mingjue knows that whatever his baby brother did to himself is the reason he now feels so healthy.
As he was lying on the floor, Huaisang was clutching a bundle of bloody papers and scrolls to his chest, so Mingjue gets what archivists they have out of bed to begin cleaning them up in the hopes of deciphering what they had to do with what Huaisang had done.
Though not everything is still legible, they gradually piece together an extremely difficult ritual that had been buried in the deepest darkest shelves of the inner family library, an early attempt at dealing with the threat the strongest sabers posed to their own wielders.
They also find a page in Huaisang's writing, also spattered in his own blood, but partially legible.
---
-udied it backwards and fo- -at least twelve times. If Da-g the current and previous Nie Zongzhu ever saw- -apparent why they never attempted it.
-a core like mine- -good as dead. Not even sure if I have enough- -instead of just a few more years.
Thinking about- -comments back in Gusu on splitting- With more people, there'd be less threat to all-
No... No, it wouldn't work.
-only if they love Nie-zongzhu more than they hate me, and even then- -keep someone from telling- -as soon as he finds out, I can already hear- -a selfish coward for asking such a thing of the sect.
And then- -right back where I started.
Doing this alone.
Better to just- -one brave thing in my life.
Besides, if it does work as outlined, then this would be the best possible outcome. Nie-zongzhu and Baxia will be themselves again, Er-g Zewu-jun and Lianfang-zun will get their sworn brother back, and the sect gets to keep the leader they actually like. And no one will ever have to tolerate me again.
Everybody wins.
---
When Nie Huaisang first hears that his brother is ill, and has been for some time, of course he immediately remembers what happened with their father. The shouting, the insults, the bruises... the feeling of hands crushing his throat.
For the briefest moment, he wonders if this means maybe his brother doesn't hate him, that it's just the sickness like it was for their father, but listening in more makes it clear that the speakers believe qi sickness mostly exacerbates problems the sufferer already had.
Which... oh.
Okay.
He gets it now.
Clearly, it means his father and brother both hated him and just managed to hide it until he, stupid selfish pain in the ass that he is, aggravated their sickness enough that it came out in the open.
And for the whole sect to have just gone along with the rages... For everyone to have been hiding this from him...
Well, then.
So when he winds up digging up an opportunity to take on all of his brother's qi poisoning, which comes with a very high possibility of killing him immediately because of the weakness of his core, comes up, he doesn't hesitate.
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ackusknal · 2 years
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Kaeya: Comfort HCs
Hi, new side blog until tumblr get’s fixed. Yes I know this is a double re-post but I don’t think this one made it into tags. Hopefully and I pray with all my heart, this works. Please see my pinned post for further details 
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WOW IF THE TIMING OF THIS ASK ISN’T SPOT ON BECAUSE GOD DO I NEED COMFORT. Childe won’t come home and I’ve never been this hollow before ;-; I suck at writing Kaeya but Cryo boy please.
I try to keep these gender-neutral and only use “you” as the “pronoun” but if I happen to slip up, please let me know 💕
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Kaeya: Comfort HCs
The Ludi Harpastum was a festival that Mondstadt celebrated every year. A full 15 days of games for children to enjoy with carnivals of songs and other excitements. Restaurants would display their finest dishes while taverns, like the Dawn Winery and The Cat’s Tail, would roll out plenty of cider and wine for the adults. Bards from all over Teyvat would come to sing their wonderful poems, indulge in liveliness that was Mondstadt during these 15 days. So why did you seem so down lately? It was a question the Calvary Captain pondered as he saw you shuffle away from the festivities.
Were you overworked perhaps? Jean had been running around trying to prepare for the festival but even she had a smile on, excited for the Ludi Harpastum and what was to come. Though, in your defense, Jean was just that kind of person. He had noticed that you looked more and more out of it as the days passed. As if you were going through the motions from trying to appease the children to helping out wherever you could. He quickly racked his brain for any signs that something was wrong leading up to the festival, but he couldn’t recall anything specific. He sent a small mental apology to Jean and the other knights but his attention was on something more important now.
At first, he’ll take his approach discretely. If it’s just nerves from getting the festival sorted out then it’s not something he needs to sit you down and talk you through. That might just add more to your stress if you knew how worried he got. He’ll slip a couple check ins with you to see how you’re faring outside of the public eye, or making sure that your work load is manageable, anything to maybe ease whatever it was that was getting you down. If it is just nerves he’ll gently but jokingly let you know that if you have any troubles you can always come to him. If you remark that everything that you needed to do for the festival was already taken care of he’ll laugh it off. Jean sure is working hard huh?
If it really does seem that you’re slipping apart and leaving you to your own devices is not helping you, his worry for you overtakes his professional role of boundaries and he’ll confront you. Not as the Calvary Captain making sure the festival goes smoothly but as Kaeya whose is concerned for your safety and health. If you don’t want to get into specific’s that’s all right with him, just so long as you aren’t alone with your thoughts. He’ll initiate by gently lacing your fingers together and but then it’s up to you on how you want things to go.
During the day, the Captain side of him will appear laid back and fondly tease you. Anything to see you smile or even lightly embarrass you. But at night when it’s just the two of you together, you’ll both settle into the quiet atmosphere but he’ll hold you just a little tighter. Spend just a second longer in your embrace. All silent cues that you mean a lot to him.
If Jean or Amber asks where he’s been lately he’ll gladly tell a bald-faced lie. Making remarks that a couple of pyro slimes seemed to get into the wine barrels and made it their home. Amber is suspicious of him but he’s the Calvary Captain so she’ll let it go but she’s watching him. Jean is concerned but he’ll wave it off and give a small nod towards your form in the distance. She immediately understands and if you or him need anything to let her know. Really, Jean works way too hard.
He won’t pry, everyone has their own secrets and issues, plus on the very slim chance you find out he was digging into your business, you might never trust him again. You never bothered him with his origins or his methods so it’s only fair he does the same to you. While he likes tricking and putting other’s in danger to justify the means, you’re someone important to him. He’ll only do something like that if it’s to ensure your safety or you’re pushed to the breaking limit. You might hate him for looking through your privacy but at the end of the day, if it makes you happier he’ll do it.
He’ll leave little signs that he’s concerned for you and that he’s here if you need him. If you’ve been sleeping more often, be it from overwork or sadness, you’ll wake up with a white fur cloak wrapped around you. He’ll make up some joke that a cat snagged it off him, and it just happened to climb in through your window, snuggled up to you, and than ran away without the cloak. That’s just how funny nature works. Cats sure are tricky things huh?
If you’re reaching break point he will corner you and ask what’s wrong. You might brush him off or get mad at him in the morning but Kaeya believes that the end justifies the means. He knows that somethings you just want to deal with alone, his entire backstory and family issues are like that, but it pains him deep inside to see you so upset. He doesn’t want to feel that same helplessness again, especially to someone he cares deeply about, so he’ll do anything in his power to ease your heart.
While he prefers to do things independently if it’s something he can’t help with, he’ll take Jean up on her offer. Just to check up on you and see if her calming presence is enough to make you feel calm just for a moment. When he does see you slowly start to get better it makes him happy. He might get a bit more affectionate but really he’s just relieved that you’re alright now.
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mrpenguinpants · 4 years
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Kaeya: Comfort HCs
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WOW IF THE TIMING OF THIS ASK ISN’T SPOT ON BECAUSE GOD DO I NEED COMFORT. Childe won’t come home and I’ve never been this hollow before ;-; I suck at writing Kaeya but Cryo boy please.
Honestly, with how tumblr is acting and how genshin is sucking my soul out, I really lost a lot of motivation to write. I’m not sure if it’s because I took a small break or if it’s just tumblr saying no but my activity has gotten lower and lower. But I’ll post this one and see how it does. I know Kaeya is not my strong suit since I can’t fucking write his character, so this isn’t a good fic to base my feelings on but if this sucks. I might take a longer break. My stuff won’t show up in tags and I don’t know why. I haven’t gotten anything back from staff yet.
I try to keep these gender-neutral and only use “you” as the “pronoun” but if I happen to slip up, please let me know 💕
[taglist]  <- if you want to be added, please read this first. 
@hanniejji​​  @mikeysbike​​ @unionwitch​ @musekala​ @twistedsunnshiii​ @stanzastic​ @akaasea​ @xoneaboveallx​ @adoring-ghost​ @asheseiler​
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Kaeya: Comfort HCs
The Ludi Harpastum was a festival that Mondstadt celebrated every year. A full 15 days of games for children to enjoy with carnivals of songs and other excitements. Restaurants would display their finest dishes while taverns, like the Dawn Winery and The Cat’s Tail, would roll out plenty of cider and wine for the adults. Bards from all over Teyvat would come to sing their wonderful poems, indulge in liveliness that was Mondstadt during these 15 days. So why did you seem so down lately? It was a question the Calvary Captain pondered as he saw you shuffle away from the festivities.
Were you overworked perhaps? Jean had been running around trying to prepare for the festival but even she had a smile on, excited for the Ludi Harpastum and what was to come. Though, in your defense, Jean was just that kind of person. He had noticed that you looked more and more out of it as the days passed. As if you were going through the motions from trying to appease the children to helping out wherever you could. He quickly racked his brain for any signs that something was wrong leading up to the festival, but he couldn’t recall anything specific. He sent a small mental apology to Jean and the other knights but his attention was on something more important now.
At first, he’ll take his approach discretely. If it’s just nerves from getting the festival sorted out then it’s not something he needs to sit you down and talk you through. That might just add more to your stress if you knew how worried he got. He’ll slip a couple check ins with you to see how you’re faring outside of the public eye, or making sure that your work load is manageable, anything to maybe ease whatever it was that was getting you down. If it is just nerves he’ll gently but jokingly let you know that if you have any troubles you can always come to him. If you remark that everything that you needed to do for the festival was already taken care of he’ll laugh it off. Jean sure is working hard huh?
If it really does seem that you’re slipping apart and leaving you to your own devices is not helping you, his worry for you overtakes his professional role of boundaries and he’ll confront you. Not as the Calvary Captain making sure the festival goes smoothly but as Kaeya whose is concerned for your safety and health. If you don’t want to get into specific’s that’s all right with him, just so long as you aren’t alone with your thoughts. He’ll initiate by gently lacing your fingers together and but then it’s up to you on how you want things to go.
During the day, the Captain side of him will appear laid back and fondly tease you. Anything to see you smile or even lightly embarrass you. But at night when it’s just the two of you together, you’ll both settle into the quiet atmosphere but he’ll hold you just a little tighter. Spend just a second longer in your embrace. All silent cues that you mean a lot to him.
If Jean or Amber asks where he’s been lately he’ll gladly tell a bald-faced lie. Making remarks that a couple of pyro slimes seemed to get into the wine barrels and made it their home. Amber is suspicious of him but he’s the Calvary Captain so she’ll let it go but she’s watching him. Jean is concerned but he’ll wave it off and give a small nod towards your form in the distance. She immediately understands and if you or him need anything to let her know. Really, Jean works way too hard.
He won’t pry, everyone has their own secrets and issues, plus on the very slim chance you find out he was digging into your business, you might never trust him again. You never bothered him with his origins or his methods so it’s only fair he does the same to you. While he likes tricking and putting other’s in danger to justify the means, you’re someone important to him. He’ll only do something like that if it’s to ensure your safety or you’re pushed to the breaking limit. You might hate him for looking through your privacy but at the end of the day, if it makes you happier he’ll do it.
He’ll leave little signs that he’s concerned for you and that he’s here if you need him. If you’ve been sleeping more often, be it from overwork or sadness, you’ll wake up with a white fur cloak wrapped around you. He’ll make up some joke that a cat snagged it off him, and it just happened to climb in through your window, snuggled up to you, and than ran away without the cloak. That’s just how funny nature works. Cats sure are tricky things huh?
If you’re reaching break point he will corner you and ask what’s wrong. You might brush him off or get mad at him in the morning but Kaeya believes that the end justifies the means. He knows that somethings you just want to deal with alone, his entire backstory and family issues are like that, but it pains him deep inside to see you so upset. He doesn’t want to feel that same helplessness again, especially to someone he cares deeply about, so he’ll do anything in his power to ease your heart.
While he prefers to do things independently if it’s something he can’t help with, he’ll take Jean up on her offer. Just to check up on you and see if her calming presence is enough to make you feel calm just for a moment. When he does see you slowly start to get better it makes him happy. He might get a bit more affectionate but really he’s just relieved that you’re alright now.
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bitchapalooza · 3 years
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Sail to sea
Lukas sees the Sea Spirit.
Tw death mention, past death, child death, drowning mention
Lucas scanned the horizon. The sun was setting, ending his third day on the job. Orange reflected off the waters of the quiet Norwegian town. The clouds were a beautiful cotton candy pink, soft enough to touch, good enough to eat. As the night closed in, the atmosphere changed. Everything calmed to a relaxing still. The wind blew gently. Jostling his hair. Messing it up.
The boat swayed as the crew readied themselves to port. Lucas drew in the last of the nets. Nothing in them. Same as the previous evening. A low frustrated growl rumbled from Lukas' throat. He tossed the net aside, it hitting the deck with a thud.
"Don't get your knickers in a twist, Thomassen." William, his cousin and crewmate, frowned. His larger, rougher hand clasped Lucas' shoulder firmly. Grounding the younger worker from his rising emotion.
Lucas jerked away. "How are you so calm? The haul is lighter than yesterday. And the day before." William shook his head as he gathered the empty nets.
"S'way it always is, kid." He tossed the nets back to Lucas, the young man falling back a step but otherwise catching it without further struggle.
"Wasn't this way when I was a kid." Lucas muttered. "There were netfulls everyday. More than my father could handle sometimes."
Erick pushed past his fiance's cousin, bumping shoulders with the shorter man. "Things change. Get used to it."
Lucas wouldn't accept it. His father had run this small fishing business for years. Spent his life on it to provide for his family. Then he passes it down to his brother and it goes to shit. The amount of fish fluctuates daily, he's been told. He was instructed to deal with the dead ones they haul in. Do not question the half eaten fish. To throw back the younger ones to avoid killing off the supply. Most shops relied on them for stock. Restaurants relied on those shops. Families relied on both. The whole town will collapse if nothing could be done to fix this.
But Lucas let it go for now. He stored the nets away in the proper place. And then he caught something unusual in the corner of his eye.
Glistening violet in the setting sun. He scanned the landscape but saw nothing more. He was about to turn away, thinking it was a trick of the light, when he saw it again. In as much detail as he could capture.
Out in the distance, a glimmer of purple soared through the air. Lucas swore it was a body. Small and slim. Jumping from the water like a dolphin. "What," Lucas began, not looking away from the ocean. "What was that?"
"What was what?" William asked from the other side of the boat.
"The— whatever jumped into the air just now!"
"Oooooh," Finnigan, the old self appointed crew captain, came up from below the deck stroking his salt and pepper beard. "Sounds like little Lucas has seen it." He trotted over, ruffling the younger one's head of hair. Lucas swatted him away.
"It? Hell is 'it'?" He demanded.
"It," Erick sat down on the gunwale of the boat. "Is the Sea Spirit. Kids these days say it's a mermaid."
"Others say it's a lost spirit. And that's where my money lands honestly." Finnigan finished.
Lucas turned back to the open sea. "So," He looked over the edge, brows furrowed. "It's definitely paranormal?"
The crew nodded.
"Interesting.."
Later that night, Lucas helped his uncle and aunt clean up the dinner table then snuck off, telling them he was going out for some air. He took down a path where he knew the tide would be low, leaving the rocks dry and exposed. He climbed down the now rusty latter. Maneuvered over the rocks. And sat huddled on the flat bare stone that acted as land. The water was calm and the wind chilly.
Lucas dipped his hand into the cool salty water closing his eyes as he remembered a time long past. When the latter was brand new. Built by his neighbor and son. Kids used to come down here to play with their toy boats. It was once a tradition for the graduating seniors to let go a paper boat in preparation for their free life. Some even set the boats on fire, making a bigger deal out of it than needed. Lucas came out here to play too, once upon a time. When things were simpler. Happier.
But it looks like things have changed. The rope blocking kids off from the deeper parts is gone. The dock where, on occasion, a lifeguard sat, was in shambles. Barnacles hug every nook and cranny possible of every rock in sight thanks to the change in sea level.
And to think it's only been eight years.
"Hey spirit." Lucas called out. Back in the day, their town was home only to humans. No paranormal being could be found. It's a pretty foreign deal to these folk but to Lucas it's become normal. His parents moved him to the city where creatures did reside. Hostile ones. Friendly ones. He met a Fossegrimmen in the surrounding forest he observed everyday as a teen, always trying to muster the courage to ask him to teach him how to play the fiddle. He did always have the stolen meat prepared but never did approach him. He also met trolls and an usual Danish Nisse when he visited the countryside. Lucas is still convinced, after all these years, he even saw the winter spirit when he first moved. His parents continue to deny it.
Lucas was no stranger to these creatures. In fact, being told there was a spirit here, in this boring old port town, was just the pick-me-up he needed after leaving his parents' comfort and care nearly a week ago. Back in the city, he kept journals about the creatures he found. He found them intriguing. Fun to study.
Lucas swirled his hand in the liquid a few more times before retracting it, wiping it dry on his pant leg. "If you are out here, Sea Spirit, you don't have to be shy. I'd like to meet you if that's okay."
Nothing but the sounds of the sea answered.
A few more good bouts of silence and Lucas got up, ready to leave. And then something splashed his shoes as he turned away, soaking them to the bone. He faced the water again, looking down at the edge of the rock. And there it was, the top of a head and a pair of bright violet eyes reflecting the moon poked out of the water's surface. Lucas carefully sat back down a good distance away, never breaking eye contact.
"So," Lucas began. "You're what I saw this evening, huh?" The spirit popped their head further out of the water, revealing their beautiful spots of purple that glimmered in the moonlight. Lucas also noticed it's features. Very child-like, he thought.
"What is your name?" They tilted their head. "Your name. What do they call you?" He repeated.
The spirit suddenly came ashore. With the moonlight as his only source, he could just make out how sickly green and pale their skin was. Their hair covered their eyes, touching their shoulders. Gills sat on the sides of their throat while more purple scales littered their exposed skin. They wore tattered cloth, most likely a torn sail they fashioned into some clothes. Most of all, it was a child. A young boy by the looks of it. Perhaps around four. Or six in human years.
This was unlike anything Lucas has read about.
"If you don't have a name, may I call you something?" The spirit nodded slowly, hesitantly. "Okay. Hm..." Lucas thought hard on this. He's never come across a completely nonverbal creature before. Much less one he's never seen before. This felt like a huge deal to him so the pressure was on.
And then he snapped his fingers, spooking the spirit for a second. "I got it! Emil. You can be called Emil."
Emil grinned from ear to ear at that. Lucas chuckled. "I see you like that, hm?" Emil nodded, more vigorously this time.
"Well my name is—" Without any warning, Emil came over and took Lucas' hand in his. Clasping them together tightly. The two met face to face, Emil smiling with big bright eyes as he shook their hands up and down in an incorrect hand shake. Lucas laughed a little again. "It is nice to meet you too, Emil. I'm Lucas." Emil let go and plopped down on the rock in front of Lucas.
"Can you not talk, Emil?" Emil frowned. He shook his head. "Seems you can understand well enough however. That's good."
With the young spirit closer, Lucas got a better view. His hands seemed to be webbed, feet too. Good for swimming of course. His ears were not human but fin. Small but still stuck out away from the face.
"Hey Emil," The spirit's eyes swam with curiosity. "Would you like to know why I named you Emil?" The boy nodded, leaning forward in anticipation.
Lucas gave a small smile. He took a breath and began. "I had a younger brother. He was around your age even. A small, skinny kid. He was going through this difficult picky eater phase that made mom worry for his future health on a daily basis."
"His name was Emil. A shy kid that had this fixation of collecting rocks and picking up strange bugs every chance he got. He opened up around me, mom, and dad a lot more than he did strangers.. He loved to fish with dad and I. We went every weekend to the docks to catch a few and throw them back. Dad would sometimes make us kiss the fish as it would apparently give us good luck. What a fool.." Lucas chuckled from fond memory.
Emil scooted closer, listening intently as Lucas carried on. "One day, dad thought it would be a good idea to show us how he worked. He took us out on the boat. Put life jackets on the both of us as he knew us kids would want to look out over the boat's edge. But Emil's hardly fit on account of his small body. He." Lucas took a shaky breath. "He fell overboard. And he couldn't swim. Emil had already fallen under before dad jumped in to save him himself. He died. And we never did retrieve his body either."
The spirit layed a cold hand across Lucas' warm one. Emil pointed to himself, tilting his head.
"Yeah. I named you after my brother to honor him I suppose."
Emil shook his head. He quickly retracted his hand and retreated back to the water in the blink of an eye.
Lucas stood, confused.
Now what was that about?
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namjoonmiluna · 3 years
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Breaking Free - BTS (M)
btsIf you’ve enjoyed my story please share & visit the link at the bottom to view the rest. Thank you!
Main characters : Kim Namjoon & a girl an average girl named Jenilyn. All BTS members are side characters. Suga becomes a main character in later chapters.
Genre/Warning : Written as a Kdrama. 18+ Triggers for mature content, emotional abuse, physical assault, violence, & sexual content. Later chapters may contain mental instability, drug use, racial undertones and sexual assault. Read with caution.
Length of Fic : Very long, at least a novel or two in length currently. It is not completed.
Summary : Purely by chance, a ordinary girl's life is forever changed by her favorite man-band. The simple act of choosing a new career path sets off a chain of events taking her on a journey of love, jealousy, heartbreak, desire, destiny, & drama. With a target on her back she fights to stand tall in the face of adversity.
I tried to make this story very digestible for new and old army. There is a lot of the fandom put into it and I tried to keep their personalities as close to accurate as possible.
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Chapter 1 - The Meeting
It had been a long night. One of those nights that make you question why you even work there anymore. She was alone, as she usually was. The gift shop was small - only the sound of the FM radio, 90s, 00's and today's. There had not been a customer in hours. It was late, but nearing the end of her shift. She went to the restroom where she could see the eyeliner rubbing under her eyes. She did her best to fix it and laughed at herself in the mirror. Her blonde hair, now frizzy and limp from a long day - rested on her shoulders, cascading down her upper back. Why is it I'm always the one covering the shift when someone calls off, she asked herself. Her breasts were large and bouncy, held up by a small waist. Her hips were wide with an ass to match. She looked ridiculous. Thank god I can go home soon, she thought. The white tee looked stretched out from the day. She untied the black and white flannel shirt she had tied around her waist and put it on over her shirt. Her skinny jeans had torn a little more from when she had put them on, exposing more of her thighs than she liked. She thought about how she looked and quickly brushed it off - it was closing time soon anyway. She planned to crawl into bed as soon as she could.
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   It was 15 minutes until closing when she noticed lights in front of the store. She had already turned off some of the overhead lights, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness - the headlights all but blinded her.
   Great, last-minute customers, she thought to herself, the absolute worst kind.
   She could see many figures getting out of what looked like a bus. One by one, seven entered the store. Each bringing multiple pieces of luggage and handbags. They all looked tired, and perhaps a little angry. One last man entered after them. Entering the store he removed his sunglasses, tucking them into his jacket pocket. The man looked tall, mature. Thick black hair and of clear Asian decent. He had slightly beady eyes and a rounded nose. His lips were thick and dark.
   "Hi! Can I help you?" she asked loudly from across the store.
   The older man walked to her counter, offering out his hand, "Seijin" he smiled. "I know it's late. Our vehicle broke down and there isn't much around here. I realize this is a campground, but I'm hoping you may have somewhere we can stay?"
She took his hand and shook. She looked to the boys, to Seijin, and back again. Trying to piece together what she was seeing, she managed to spit out, "Um, yeah! We should have something available. Let me find out for you. Are you wanting 8 rentals?" She asked him. He nodded.
   She could see that some of the boys had sat down on the floor, two more laid down, resting their heads on their bags. There was one in particular who laid on the other members of the group, flopping his arms and legs enthusiastically over them. Another slowly walked around, picking up things and calling to the others to look at what he found before setting the item back down. He was curious about all the oddities to seen around him.
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   She made a few phones calls and figured out availability. "Okay so, we have 4 deluxe rentals, and 4 regular. The deluxe come with linens but ---" she paused "the regulars do not." She braced herself for him to cop an attitude with her - her years in the recreation industry had toughened her skin giving her the ability to handle any disgruntled customer with ease. She tried not too let it bother her too much, that's just how it was - being mad about it wouldn't change it.
   "Okay" one of the boys on the floor groaned, loudly. It sounded like he wanted to lay on an actual bed as quickly as possible.
   Seijin laughed at the boy who groaned, "I guess that's fine, then."
She made him a map of where the rentals were located. The park spanned a total of 80 acres. She handed it to him and vaguely gestured to where they were located, which was all over the map in different areas.
He looked down to study it, seeing that all of them were in different parts of the campground he said, "I hate to ask another favor but can you possibly take them to the rooms? They are exhausted - it's been a tough day. Anonymity is of importance."
   Still slightly stunned from the strangeness of it all, she managed to get out, "Yeah for sure, but I can't leave for 10 mins when I can close up shop." She pointed to the clock above her.
   Seijin, "That is just fine. Boys." He turned towards the boys, who seemed to be getting comfortable on the floor, "do you want to get any snacks before the nice girl closes?"
   She laughed to herself. Girl. She was in her early 30s, far from a girl. Although she had always presented younger. Coworkers always assumed she was in her early 20s. She didn't bother to correct them. It must be her skin care routine. In her mind if you act young, you stay young. It had worked well so far.
   A few of the boys jumped up. One boy followed the others around explaining what things were as they picked them up. They spoke a foreign language that sounded extremely familiar to her, perhaps a movie she watched with subtitles. Even though they spoke a different language, they riddled each other with English phrases, often spurting out words like "Ok" "Yes!" "Let's go" or "Fighting". The boy following them around laughed and shook his head, often covering his face with his hands. He's super cute, she thought to herself as she watched them walk around the store.
While the boys walked around, another man entered the store, he immediately walked to the counter and greeted Jen. He was tall and just slightly on the chubby side, he had a full beard and looked like he lived in the country his entire life. The boy following the others around the store gave him a side-eye, paying close attention to their conversation. As the member of the group most fluent in English it was hard for him not to listen. Their conversation sounded like they knew each other extremely well.
"Hey Jen" he called.
"Oh hey, Brody!" she chimed, "it's late what are you doing here?"
"We're leaving tonight" he mentioned, "someone at work got into an accident and I have to work tomorrow after all."
"Oh" she said, her voice sounding slightly disappointed.
"I'm really sorry" he apologized, "you know I was really looking forward to seeing you."
She nodded, "it's fine, we'll get together another time."
He laughed, "yeah I hope so." He looked around the store to see the guys walking around, "do you know them?"
"I don't" she said, "they just booked some rentals for the night."
"Nice to meet you" he yelled through the store, "I'm Brody."
The guys turned around and mumbled hellos to him for a second before continuing on their way.
"Not very friendly" he murmured.
Jen laughed, "give them a break, I'm pretty sure they are foreigners."
"I can see that" he said, looking to them again. He moved his gaze back to her. He gave her a big smile and dropped his head sideways.
She laughed, knowing he wanted a hug before he left.
She walked around the counter and gave him a big hug. His arms wrapped around her so tightly they arms reached his body again on the opposite side. He hummed while he hugged her before picking her up in the air and setting her back down.
The boy following the others couldn't help but notice her. She has great body lines, he thought to himself. During the hug, her back faced him.
She stepped back from him, "drive safe."
He leaned forward quickly to whisper in her ear, "the tall one is checking you out." She turned around quickly to find him staring in their direction, only to quickly look away. Jen giggled.
He nodded, "I'll talk to you soon" he said before turning to leave.
   She turned around as one of the boys opened the fridge and loudly yelled "SPRITE!" in plain English. The other boys laughed next to him, each grabbing their own drinks. Lots of bottled water and Gatorade - the typical drinks any young guy would choose.
   Items were piling up on the counter : chips, snacks, sprite, bottles of water, slim jims - even cups of ramen noodles. Enough snacks and drinks for seven.
   She packed up the items, making sure to bag the items separately. Each took their bag and went back to sit on the floor. They seemed a little happier and began eating their snacks. The sounds of snack bags crinkling covered up the music on the radio. She could hear light conversation and laughter coming from them. They reminded her of children.
   The last boy stepped up to the counter, shaking his head and laughing, "These guys act like they haven't eaten in days. How much do we owe?"
He was extremely exotic looking. His heart shaped face matched perfectly with his thin eyebrows. He had somewhat soft cheekbones and jawline. His chin sharp when he smiled. His lips were gorgeous and full. She always preferred men who looked different - normal was boring to her. His hair looked to be between a blonde and silver with a hint of blue, as if it was fading out. He stood tall and lean, towering over her 5'4" frame. His shoulders back, he knew how to carry himself to make others feel slightly intimidated. She wasn't intimidated by him in the least, but she did think he was attractive.
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She laughed, "$134.89" From the looks of it, they had a very long day.
   The boy threw his head back, looking at the others happily eating their snacks. He handed her a credit card. She ran the card on what seemed like an ancient credit card reader.
"Boyfriend?" he asked in very clear English, his voice low and deep.
"Huh?" she asked.
"Brody" he smiled, "is he your boyfriend?"
"Oh god no" she laughed, "we're just friends."
"Not interested in him?" he asked, curiously.
"I um.." she thought for a minute on how she should respond, "We've known each other since we were teens. At one point we considered dating - on our first date we went to see a harry potter movie so that tells you how long ago that was."
He laughed and nodded, "didn't hit it off?"
"We did but--" she laughed, "it turns out he's in love with his best friend and I wasn't trying to get involved with that."
He grimaced, "ouch."
"He's persistent, I'll give him that" she laughed, "to this day he's still chasing her and she has at least a few boyfriends at any given time."
"He's just basically a backup but he keeps his hopes up" she explained, "whatever works for him." She truly did hope he gave up the chase and found someone, she felt he needed it desperately.
He nodded thinking about all the strange things he learned while in America.
He fiddled with things on the counter, accidentally knocking some candy on to the floor. He would occasionally catch a passing glance at her when he thought she wasn't looking, only to sheepishly smile and look down to avoid direct eye contact.
"Sorry" he apologized, bending over to put them back. She laughed. He is clumsy in the cutest way, she thought to herself.
   "I'm sorry this thing is so slow" she said nervously. She hated how long it took, waiting for it to finish made her anxious in his presence. Awkward forced conversations were a pet peeve of hers.
   He shot her a sideways smile, dimple forming on his cheek. "That's okay" he said, flashing a peace sign over his right eye. "You can call me RM"  he said, loosely introducing himself to her.
   And just like that she knew exactly who he was. Who THEY were. Maybe it was how late it was, but she hadn't put two and two together. Her heart started racing, she gulped and tried to control her breathing. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG, she thought to herself.
Kim Namjoon, also known as RM was the leader, spokesperson and main rapper for one of the most popular K-Pop groups from South Korea. His singing voice a tenor while his rapping voice ventured closer to baritone - sometimes sounding almost throaty. He grew up in the small city of Islan. As a boy, he had big dreams of being a superhero and changing the world. He felt his music did just that. He chose the stage name of Rap Monster, later changing it to just RM - a better reflection of who he thought he was. During their debut, Namjoon was one of the most hated members. Often receiving hate from "fans" who claimed he shouldn't be in the group at all. He worked hard to prove the naysayers wrong. A lyricist by nature, he provides many of the lyrics for the group. His belief in the group so strong that when asked if he would like to go solo or stay with the group - he chose Bangtan Sonyeondan without hesitation. He believed in the group and each of its members without fault. He had a tendency to hold onto his feelings without letting others know, and doing so has lead him to depression and anxiety in the past. He struggled and continued to struggle with loving himself - something he admitted he will strive for until his death. Although he was technically the "middle child" of the group, he was considered to be in the hyung line - a term used in South Korea that meant eldest of the group. Lover of all things cute and quirky - he had many collections of toys and figurines. If he could choose his own middle name it would be fashion which doubled as his passion.
He looked back over to the guys, "I'm kind of like the leader of the group." He looked back at her and gave her the sweetest smile. His smile is so charming, she thought to herself.
   She collected her thoughts before responding, "Jenilyn" pointing to her name tag. "You can just call me Jen."
   The credit card finally went through, she handed him the card and receipt to sign.
She added the receipt to the register and checked the time. "One minute is close enough" she announced packing up her register. The boys rolled their luggage outside while she finished closing. She put her register drawer in the safe, turned off the lights and clocked out for the night.
Locking the front door to the gift shop, she turned around to say, "I can't fit all of you in my car at once. I can take two of you at a time." She pointed to her pearl white Hyundai Elantra in the parking lot.
"You guys want to introduce yourselves?" RM asked, suggesting the guys to be more polite towards her. He physically pushed one of them closer to her gently.
Two of the boys stepped forward while RM loaded their luggage.
"V" one said in a low tone, bowing slightly and avoiding eye contact. He was slightly shorter than RM, although he kept his head down making him feel even shorter, closer to her own height. His voice sultry and deep. When he did smile, his mouth formed an almost stretched out heart shape. His dark hair looked messy, slightly curly, covering his eyes. He looks like a shaggy puppy, she thought to herself. He had a beautiful set of eyelashes that would make any girl envious. He was extremely shy towards her. She imagined he would look great in a preppy sweater vest or a leather jacket, his beauty knew no bounds.
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Kim Taehung, also known as V. - A quirky guy and baritone vocals for the group. Easily distracted by animals and would occasionally act a little strange - so much so that anti-fans dubbed him as an alien, a nickname which he hated.  Considers his dog to be his child. Gets bored easily and sleeps with his eyes open - fans often wondered if he slept during American interviews. Originally considered to be the "pretty" one in the group. While it sounds like a compliment, it was more often used as an insult - that the only thing he had going for him were his looks. Like Namjoon, he worked hard to improve his vocal skills - proving everyone wrong. Very honest about his true feelings in the moment. He was the third youngest member of the group, making him part of the maknae line - a word used in South Korea that referred to the youngest. His personality and quirks made him seem much older than many of the group members.
She smiled at him, "Nice to meet you, V."
RM pushed the other boy on the back softly.
"Suga" he said. He was about an inch shorter than V. His hair also looked a little shaggy, although not as long as V's. His hair stopped just at the top of his eyebrows. His face somewhat round, with a chubby babydoll look. His eyes were dark and almost triangular in shape, as if he was judging the situation. They looked to be a cross between both monolid and double eye lids. His features were soft, even delicate at times. He pulled off the look well. The first thing she noticed about him was his confidence, nothing really seemed to bother him and he had no problems looking her in the eye. He didn't try to present himself in any particular way - he existed as he was. She loved that he could be that way.
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Min Yoongi, known as Suga - Another rapper for the group and one of the fastest rappers in the industry of kpop. As a descendant of a very powerful clan during the Joseon dynasty, he had a rich heritage despite growing up poor. He spent much of his time producing his own music as well as music for the group. Slightly anti-social due to his social anxiety, he did the best he could in social situations. He could most often be found observing the group and letting the other guys lead the way. In his down time he liked to sleep, write lyrics and play games on his phone. He thought his fans to be the most special as he saw himself as average looking at best. Slightly obsessed with basketball, his favorite manga featured the sport. He didn't care to show certain parts of his body and remained covered at all times. He suffered from a shoulder injury he acquired during his trainee days, when he took a side job for extra cash. He kept his emotions well hidden, very rarely allowing his true feelings to escape. He remained a loud advocate for mental health and depression as his fight had been long and difficult. Loved to be hugged by the other members but pretended to hate it. Fans called him "sleepy" for his sleeping habits as well as "meow meow" for his cat-like appearance. Even though he looked the youngest, he was the second-eldest member of the group he - was hyung to all members aside from Jin. In their debut days, he felt like he got shafted by the company - he thought he'd be joining an all rap group and with focus on music production with little choreography required. Success and their fan base, known as ARMY, helped him come to terms with and accept his new life as an idol.
"Nice to meet you Suga" she said, opening the car door. Both boys sat in the back of the car, moving the pillows around in her back seat.
Everything in her car was galaxy themed - from the car seat covers to the pillows. Suga picked up one of the pillows, fluffing it in his hands. "You like stars?" he asked.
She laughed, reversing out of her parking space. "Yeah I really like the galaxy patterns. The colors are super pretty."
He nodded his head, placing the pillow next to him and using it as an arm rest.
"I actually have lights installed in the floorboard. Let me get going and I'll turn them on" she put the car in drive and slowly took off. The speed limit was 5 mph in the park. She flipped the switch located under her dash, lighting up the floorboards in purple lighting.
"Oh cool" Suga said checking out the floorboard. He stared at her dashboard, "Bluetooth?"
"Unfortunately, no. But I do have an aux" she said passing the cord back to him. He took the cord and plugged his phone in, playing the next song on his spotify. Drake.
"Do you listen to Drake?" he asked, curious about her.
"I do like Drake. I actually love almost all music" she said pulling into the parking space of the rental. She popped open her trunk. She got out and helped V with his luggage, handing him the key to the rental. She stepped into the rental really quick to show him some key features. "If you need to use the hot water you will need to push this button about 15 minutes in advance." He nodded and said "thanks."
She got back into the car with Suga, who had moved to the front seat in her absence. It had taken several minutes to get V all settled in, Suga still jamming out to Drake when she got back in.
"Geesh, you scared me" she laughed, seeing him in the front seat. He smiled a big smile at her. She pulled out of the parking spot and headed to his rental to drop him off.
"Anyway so as I was saying I really do love just about anything" she laughed, "I remember watching Drake on Degrassi when I was a kid. He was always one of my favorites. Drake is just slightly older than me so I was really at the right age to relate to those struggles in the show." She paused, "I spent a good deal of time watching it."
He smiled at her, still bobbing his head to the music. She pulled into the parking space for Suga's rental. She opened the trunk to help him with his bag.
She laughed, "Oh, wow. You only have one bag? You pack surprisingly light." She handed him the key. "There is extra bedding in the closet."
He smiled at her, his eyes looked tired but he remained attentive to her. "Can I text you?" he asked, holding his phone.
"I uhh.." she wasn't sure what to say.
"As friends" he said laughing slightly.
"Oh okay, sure" he handed her his phone and she entered her number, handing it back to him with a smile, "have a good night Suga."
She got back into her car and made her way up to the front again. She pulled into her parking space and got out, motioning for the next set of boys to get in. RM loaded their luggage into the back.
Another boy stepped up to introduce himself, this one slightly more aggressive than the others. "Jin" he said, "also known as worldwide handsome." He was tall, although slightly shorter than RM with dark hair. Lean, but stockier than the others - very broad shouldered. She imagined he would give a very comforting hug. His eyes were slightly cat-like, flattering his oblong face perfectly. His cheekbones and jawline strong. He had beautiful full lips that looked almost heart shaped when he didn't smile.
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Kim Seokjin, Jin for short - Another vocal for the group - one that was renowned for being a "silver voice". His stable breathing and strong falsetto made him extremely versatile in all genres. A funny guy with a mild temper - he was considered the mom of the group, always making sure the guys were well taken care of - bringing them ice cream to cheer them up. Often times preparing meals and lunches for them. Cooking was another passion of his. He had a love of telling uncle jokes. His laugh was contagious and his face would turn red when he felt like people were staring at him too much. He was a terrible liar and loved to be complimented. Easy going until he got worked up - once slightly angered he would speak so fast it was hard to understand him. So handsome that his fans named him "Mr. Worldwide Handsome", meaning he was considered handsome in every country he visited. He was the eldest member of the group.
RM laughed while he put the luggage in the trunk, "It's late can we give the flirting a rest?" He rolled his eyes at Jin.
Jen smiled at Jin, he was very handsome, although in a very traditional sense. Very Hollywood actor. She preferred a man with more unique features but she could appreciate his beauty all the same. He obviously spent a great deal of time perfecting himself and he was proud. "Nice to meet you, worldwide handsome" she said giving him a smile.
His black hair fell over his face as he stepped forward, "Jungkook." His eyes were big and bright as if he was excited about something. Of all of them, he smelled the best, smelling slightly fruity with base notes of vanilla and chocolate. It smelled very familiar to her. He smells slightly feminine but it suits him well. I am pretty sure I own that perfume, she thought to herself. He had beautifully cut features, as if he could pull off both the innocent boy look and a badass at the same time. His lips featured a prominent cupid's bow and reminded her of her own lips. Very full on bottom with a slightly thinner upper lip. He looked sweet and innocent.
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Jeon Jeongguk, stage name Jungkook. - For lack of a better word, he was the most "average guy" out of all of them. As the youngest member of the group he was known as the "golden" maknae - a term given to the absolute youngest member. Although he seemed like an average guy with his love of manga, food and video games - his outstanding appearance and professionalism told a different story. His vocals rivaled the greatest of singers - new and old. While the other members preferred to dress in expensive clothing, he stayed with his tried-and-true brands. He was one of if not the most popular member in the group. Fans gave him the nickname of Kookie. Despite their success he had average dreams - he wished to eventually get married and have kids, to settle down and live an average life. Training as an idol from a young age, he joined the group as a teen - his childlike demeanor still holding true. He had an uncanny ability for learning quickly and excelling at everything he tried. It often left him feeling like he needed work harder to feel like he worked just as hard as the other members, to the point of dehydration and exhaustion.
"Nice to meet you Jungkook" she said opening the car door. Jin sat in front with her, Jungkook in the back. Jungkook laid down in the backseat, getting comfortable on her pillows. I'll take him home last since he's so comfortable, she thought to herself. She handed the aux cord to Jin, "Suga wanted to listen to music on the way. You can too if you like." He nodded and set the cord down without playing music.
Her phone sat in the cup holder between the front seats. Her phone starting going off. Her text notification for one of her friends was, "Waste it on me", specifically, RM's part of the song all the way to the end. She quickly took the phone, placing it face down to end the notification. She laughed, slightly embarrassed.
Jungkook immediately started singing and continued singing after the notification stopped. He really does have a beautiful voice, she thought to herself. It was extremely soothing to her and made her feel more relaxed.
"A fan?" Jin asked, curiously looking at her.
She could feel her face getting flushed, "I am." She nodded hoping the moment passed quickly.
"You didn't ask for an autograph?" he asked, although it sounded more like a statement.
She smiled, pulling into the parking space for his rental, "You guys looked tired and honestly I'm not into that kind of thing." She stepped out of the vehicle to help him carry his bags.
He gave her a half smile and raised an eyebrow slightly, getting out of the car with her, "What do you mean?"
She opened the trunk and started removing his bags, setting them gently on the gravel, "I don't really like to get close to celebrities. I like to admire from afar." She paused and stared at him. "In my mind if I can give them one less crazed fan to worry about, maybe their lives will be a little more peaceful." She handed him the key for the rental.
He hugged her, his broad shoulders wrapped around her. I was right, his hugs are the best, she thought to herself. She left her arms to the side without hugging back. He thanked her and headed up the stairs to his rental. She waited until he got inside before leaving.
Jungkook had sat up by the time she got back in the car. In her rear view mirror she could see him smiling at her. He moved close behind her, using her seat to pull himself forward. She felt as if he liked being able to intimidate her slightly. Perhaps he is into power plays, she thought to herself. He was so close to her that she could feel him breathing on her neck. It was kind of weird but slightly erotic. She wasn't even sure if he did it on purpose or not. He looked too sweet and innocent to do it purposely.
She pulled into the parking space, opening the trunk once again. He joined her at the back of the car, removing his luggage. He stood directly in front of her with a big smile on his face. His wide eyes open as if he had a million racing thoughts. After several moments he reached out to her hand, holding it within his. She looked down, noticing the tattoos on his hands. She looked up to see him smiling at her still. She laughed and took her hand back, handing him the key.
"Goodnight Jungkook" she said. He gave her another big smile, this time big enough to crinkle his eyes. He went to his rental while she made she he got in safely.
She drove back to the front of the park. She couldn't stop thinking about how flirty the guys had been. They were all so cute but man are they good at making me feel uncomfortable, she thought to herself.
She opened the trunk and didn't bother getting out of the car this time. It was already nearing midnight and she was exhausted. RM helped load their luggage, lightly patting the trunk after he closed it. Seijin sat next to her in the front seat, another hopped into the backseat, he sat in the middle, leaning in between Seijin & Jen.
"I'm J-Hope" he said cheerfully. He had a very thick Asian accent, suiting him perfectly. He shared a similar height to the other guys, although he seemed noticeably thinner. Very fashionable. He had a slightly longer face cut with a strong jawline and high cheekbones, Like RM he had dimples when he smiled. An adorable nose that turned up slightly at the end. She had always known that he was really cute, but his personality really won her over. He was extremely kind and happy. She often wished she could be that person. Being an introvert, she often tried to conserve her energy for situations she really wanted to enjoy. Being outwardly happy all the time exhausted her in most cases. It was rare she found someone didn't drain her mentally, she thought most people to be energy vampires.
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Jung Hoseok, stage name J-Hope and sometimes referred to as Hobi. - The final rapper of the group and another member who received much criticism in their debut days. Anti-fans asked him to leave the group on numerous occasions which he eventually considered before deciding not to - the love and trust of his group pulling him back. He was the best dancer and most fashionable of the group. His laugh was contagious and animated - he had no problems with falling over from laughter. Spending too much time in water made him seasick and roller coasters scared him to death, though he did think it was fun after the fact. He is known as the happiest member of the group - often gritting his teeth and hiding any problems he faced. He was considered to be the second-to-the-last favorite member of the group, after RM of course, in their debut days. His fan base grew as they reached unimaginable levels of success. As the third eldest member of the group, he was a part of the hyung line.
Seijin sat quietly as J-Hope talked both to, and at, Jen. He often nodded his head in agreement, listening to him be so happy. She pulled into the parking space for Seijin's rental. She had her hand on the door handle when Seijin said, "I'll get my bags. You stay here." She smiled at him and handed him the key. He returned a smile adding, "thank you" before exiting and grabbing his bags. She waited until he entered the rental before backing up. She pulled into J-Hope's rental, a mere 40 feet away. She exited her car, helping him remove his bags. He had more bags than most of the other guys. She set his bags gently on the gravel.
He smiled at her, he swayed back and fourth slightly as if he was nervous. She handed him the key. He picked up his bags and turned away for a brief moment before turning around to ask, "phone?" he asked in English, making a phone call gesture next to his face.
She laughed, louder than she probably should with how late it was, "You are the second person to ask tonight. Let me see your phone." He handed her the phone and smiled, a low chuckle escaping his lips.
"Second? Who asked first - V?" he asked.
She entered her number into his phone. She handed it back to him, still laughing about it, "Suga."
He looked at her stunned before returning the phone to his pocket. "I can't believe that. He doesn't even respond to us."
Her laugh died down into a smile, "Well he hasn't actually texted yet so...." her voiced trailed off, dropping her smile. She could feel how tired she was now, even with the excitement of meeting BTS she felt like she could fall asleep at any given moment.
He smiled at her again, giving her a thumbs up before entering his rental. She waited until he got inside and she could see the lights pop on.
Seijin & Hope's rentals were in the back in the campground, it took her awhile to get back to the front. Pulling into her parking spot she could see RM and Jimin outside the store. Jimin laying on the ground, resting his head on RM's thigh. RM staring off into the distance, resting his head against the window of the store. They both looked fatigued. She couldn't imagine what they had gone through.
   She exited the car, and gestured them to get in.
    The last boy she had not been properly introduced to stood up slowly and whined half-playfully and half-seriously,  "I'm hunnnnngry."
   RM rolled his eyes. "Jimin, you just ate" he said with a sigh.
   "No, real food" he whined again. This time almost stomping his foot, his blonde hair bouncing with the motion. Compared to the others, he looked petite, but strong. His lips plump and a generously handsome smile. His had slightly chubby cheeks yet still prominent cheek bones, very doll like. He seemed comfortable in his sexuality and that in itself was attractive to her. He presented himself in a very fun, childlike manner. She could see immediately that he often needed reassurance from the others.
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Park Jimin, stage name Jimin. - The second-youngest in the group after Jungkook. Lead vocals and well known for his falsetto - he had the voice of an angel. He was a sensitive guy with a need for attention. He loved being the center of it just as much as he loved showering the other members in it. He loved to compliment and purchase gifts for the other guys, always holding on to or touching the other members. In their debut days, he felt out of place when they would strive for a "bad boy" image. In more recent years he allowed his true personality to shine brighter and was met with complete acceptance from his fans. As one of the most popular members, he loves his fans more than life itself. In their early days, he was one of the most hated members - not by his fans but by fans of rival groups. So much so that he had received multiple threats on his life. He struggled in the beginning with loving himself as he was. In his quest to find perfection he often starved himself to the point of exhaustion. Recent years had treated him much better and he was a happier person because of it. He was one of the sweetest members of the group and his love for army knew no bounds.
RM sighed loudly, tilting his head back, letting his arms fall to the side.
   "I have food, not a lot but I can probably get you something?" Jen offered.
   "It's really not necessary--" RM said before being cut off by Jimin.
   "What kind?!" Jimin asked, practically jumping up and down.
   "Umm, chips, fruits" she said thinking, "maybe some spicy ramen?"
   Jimin didn't even say anything before getting up, he bounced around happily next to her.
   "It's been a really long night for everybody, we don't mean to waste more of your--" RM rebutted, trying to calm Jimin.
   "It's really no big deal. I live in the apartment up there" she said, pointing towards the sky above the gift shop.
   RM looked up to see there was an apartment above the A frame building. Jimin looked to him expectantly. He smiled, rolled his eyes slightly and said, "Well, let's get it."
   They walked around the building and up the set of stairs, dragging their luggage behind them. Jen helped Jimin with his as she noticed his struggle.
She placed her key in the lock and turned the doorknob, forcefully pushing the door open. Immediately the smell of blueberry pancake filled their senses.
"Mmm" Jimin said, smelling the air, "what smells so good?"
She giggled at him, "It's a candle. I love candles but I'm especially fond of fall scented ones."
The apartment was small, but cozy. She loved the shabby chic look and decorated her space to reflect that. Lots of white and ivory with subtle pops of pink. It was calming to her.
   Jimin dropped his bags near the door. Walking through the kitchen, he immediately opened the fridge and started pulling things out, naming things as he went. "Strawberries, blueberries." He found the bananas on the counter. She handed him a plate, smiling at how happy he was.
   RM sighed loudlly, giving up at this point.
   "If you keep walking straight you'll find the living room. You can sit down if you want" Jen offered.
   RM thanked her with a smile, and headed to the couch. He removed the pillows from the corner and placed them in his lap, laying his head back and letting his neck hang. It feels so good to sit on something other than a bus seat, he thought to himself. He looked around to survey the room - clearly a girls space. Candles. Blankets. Throw pillows. He found the remote and turned on the TV, scrolling through her apps. He scrolled through, finally deciding on Funimation, he reached across to grab a blanket. Covering himself he could smell the faint scent of perfume. It smelled beautiful and warm, just like she did. Slightly expensive, but not too expensive. He breathed deep and let the scent fill him.
She walked into the hallway leading to the living room, stopping at the console table to empty her pockets. She usually carried so many things with her, always her phone but also lip balm, a small vial of perfume, and a pen. She plugged her phone into it's charger. "I'm going to change my shirt" she yelled, unsure if they would even care. It felt super awkward having them in her apartment but they acted like it wasn't a big deal. They are probably used to meeting strangers, she thought to herself. She closed her bedroom door and took off her shirt, adding it to the laundry basket. She rummaged through her drawer to find something comfortable, but appropriate. She chose a plain white tee that ruched on one side. She typically preferred to get comfortable as soon as she got home - getting out of her jeans as fast as possible. To her, pants were leg prisons and shoes were foot prisons.
   She entered her living room. "Comfy?" she asked, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch. She admired how cute he looked snuggled in her blanket.
   He smiled, "Yah" purposely snuggling a little more.
   She giggled, "Jimin found the fruit and he's having a good time in there." She said, reaching for another blanket.
   He laughed and shook his head, "I bet he is."
   "We can share" he said, throwing a corner of the blanket at her.
   Damn he's cute, she thought. She wasn't even sure how she was containing her inner fan-girl. Her heart was screaming but she managed to play it so cool. She thought her heart might burst with how fast it was beating. She covered her legs and snuggled on the couch. She was happy, but so very tired. She could feel her eyes slowly closing against her desire to stay awake.
   Jimin finally emerged from the kitchen, smiling and rubbing his tummy. He sighed, eyelids half closed.
   "Ready to go?" Jen asked, sitting up on the couch. Jimin nodded. She got up to take Jimin to his home for the night.
   "Do you mind if I stay here?" RM asked "Thinking about that ramen now."
   "Oh yeah sure. Pans are in the cabinet near the sink. Ramen in the upper cabinet" she said heading out the door, carrying some of the bags for Jimin. He watched through the blinds as she helped Jimin into the car, loading his bags for him. Jimin seems to like her a lot, he thought to himself, I can see why - she is lovely.
RM got up and began looking through the cabinets, finding the extra spicy noodles and boiling the water. He finished the noodles, drained and then mixed them together.
   She had gotten halfway to drop Jimin off when she realized she forgot her phone. CRAP, she thought to herself, It's late anyway, I will be okay. Jimin sat in the front seat next to her, leaning his head against the door. He fell asleep on the ride. He looked peaceful, as if the car ride comforted him in ways he had not been comforted in a long time. She pulled into the parking space, letting him sleep a minute longer before waking him up.
   RM sat the bowl down, deciding he needed to find the bathroom. He entered her bedroom. Small, but plenty of room with a desk and vanity. Curious, he opened her closet doors. The closet was surprisingly big for how small the apartment was. He looked over her clothing, fashionable, mostly tees and denim. Comfortable shoes - Adidas and converse. Clearly a girl who dresses to be cute and comfortable. He closed the doors. Exactly what he expected based on the little he knew about her.
   He went to the bathroom, located next to the closet.
   Exiting the bathroom, he had a clear view of her desk across the room. He walked closer and realized that her screensaver was none other than BTS. He moved the mouse to see that her background had a picture of him, specifically from the "Butter" concept photo shoot. He raised an eyebrow and smiled.
On the other end of the wall sat her vanity, slightly messy as if she used it often. It had a large Hollywood glamour style mirror, surrounded by fifteen bright light bulbs. Exiting the bedroom he could hear music. Getting closer to the source, he could hear it was a BTS song. Mic Drop, in particular. He picked up her phone from the table and looked at it, recognizing the number that texted her.
The text message contained only one word. "Hey." He laughed a little, shook his head and said, "Suga" to himself out loud.
He set the phone down, only for it to immediately begin ringing again, this time a phone call. He picked up the phone again to see "Ex" calling. He let it ring, setting it down and listening to "I'm fine" playing. He sang along softly to it.
   He picked up his bowl of ramen again about the time she walked in. She shut the door quietly.
   "Jimin is safe" she said turning off the porch light. "Poor thing fell asleep on the drive" she mentioned.
   RM, slurping his noodles, raised both eyebrows, "You had a call."
   Immediately she knew that her ringtone was on. He heard it. Oh god he heard it, she thought to herself.
   "It was Ex?" he asked.
   "Yeah" she sighed, "my ex husband."
   Still eating his noodles, he made a sound between huh and oh?
He gave her a big smile, "And Suga texted you." She blushed, slightly embarrassed. He laughed, louder this time, "I can't even get him to text me."
   She picked up the phone, adding Suga as a contact. She returned the call to her ex. He listened to her from the kitchen.
   "Yeah what did you want?"
   "What does it even matter?"
   She sighed.
   "We've been through this. I'm done and it's over".
   RM heard the anger rising in her voice, and gestured with two fingers for her to give him the phone. She handed it over, giving him a sideways look.
   "Yea man, she said no. Its over." He ended the call and smiled - both dimples showing this time.
   "What did you do?" she asked, panicking.
   "Now he knows you're with a man. He'll leave you alone" he shrugged.
   It was silent as they returned to the living room, "Not something you can fix?" he asked out of curiosity.
   She laughed. "No, it is not" she said, plopping down on the couch.
   He sat down on the other end, one eyebrow up as if he questioned her.
   She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. It was always hard for her to hold back her tears when someone asked directly. "After five years of marriage he decided that he would rather have girls on only fans." She looked at him dead in the eyes, "and fuck them." She looked down this time, "more than a few times."
   RM was quiet. He had no words that would comfort her in the moment. She seems like a really chill girl, he thought to himself. He moved closer and rubbed her upper back softly, offering what little support he could think of.
   She laughed as she wiped away the tears. "Its alright. He's the one that's missing out. I'm fucking great" she announced.
   RM laughed. She's kind of cocky - I like it, he thought. Clapping his hands together he said, "It's been a long night and I think we're both tired.."
   She blinked at him a few times. She didn't really want to go anywhere at this point. She wanted to fall asleep when Jimin did earlier. "You can stay here if you want?" she offered, half question half offer.
   He nodded his head in agreement. She brought him some pillows and a larger blanket for the couch.
   "Bathrooms off my room if you need it" she smiled. She went into her room, changing out of her jeans and into ruched shorts. She faced the desk fan towards her bed before getting in, she preferred the cold when she slept.
   She fell asleep quickly.
The group chat that they used to communicate with each other was on fire that night :
Suga : Thoughts? She's cute
V : Very
J-Hope : Her car smelled nice
Jimin : Her apartment smelled nice too
Suga : What?! You went to her apartment?
V : I'm thirsty, do you think she'd help? :D
Jin : Too much V
RM : Jimin complained he was hungry
Jimin : I'm full now : )
Jin :  She seems really nice. Reminds me of my mom.
Suga : She likes drake
Jungkook : Cool girl
Jin : She likes us
Jungkook : Yeah all of her ringtones are bts.
RM : I can't believe Suga is actually responding to us in group chat.
J-Hope : A pretty girl will do that to him.
V : We should invite her to the show tomorrow night
Suga : YAS!
RM : We will ask Seijin in the morning.
Jimin: *clapping emoji*
RM : *sent a picture of him laying on her couch to the chat*
J-Hope : You stayed with her?!?!
Suga : OMG
   He didn't respond further after sending the picture. He laid on the couch, thinking about the day. She was obviously a fan but she treated him like any other person. It was refreshing. He thought about Suga asking for her phone number. It almost pained him to think about and he wasn't sure why. To think of it, all of the guys seemed really smitten by her, he thought to himself before falling asleep.
   He fell asleep for a couple of hours before waking up in the night. He walked through her room to the bathroom. He could see her silhouette in the moonlight. She was sleeping on her stomach with one leg bent. He could see her butt poking out the bottom of her shorts. He went to the bathroom and came back. He admired her figure. Her butt was idealistic, the kind that many women would photo shop to copy. Almost too good to be real, he thought. He slowly climbed into bed next to her.
   Him laying next to her woke her slightly. She was a very light sleeper, with any kind of noise waking her. She could feel his body next to hers. Wiggling closer she rested her head next to his and offered him half of the blanket. They slept together but in the most innocent way. Similar to how you would sleep with a very good friend - cuddled together without sexual expectations. Neither of them had been cuddled in so long, both enjoying it immensely.
He woke up very early. He stared at her while as she slept. He wished he could lay next to her for awhile longer but there was a van waiting to pick them up. Before he left, he took a selfie with her phone, entering himself as a contact. He noticed Suga had sent her another text message as she didn't respond to the first. He smiled, surprised that Suga tried a second time. It was unlike him to pursue someone more than once.
He found a notebook on her counter and wrote her a note before grabbing his bags to head out the door. He quietly closed the front door when he left, his luggage behind him. Before getting into the car he dug out his journal. He sat between Suga & J-Hope. Once settled and on their way, he wrote yesterday's journal entry :
"Today was a great day. The day was long and the ride even longer. Our vehicle broke down on the way to Chicago. We stopped at a campground and met a really nice girl. Pretty. Smart. I slept on her couch and then moved into the bed with her. It was lovely."
He read his entry over, adding small details he wanted to remember. J-Hope couldn't help but notice his entry, "She's pretty" he admitted.
RM laughed, "Yeah so pretty Suga got her number." Suga laughed, letting out a little snort.
"Had to try" he responded.
J-Hope blushed, covering his face.
RM laughed, "You asked for her number too didn't you? How many of you do you think she can see at once?"
V, who sat behind RM, leaned forward between the seats, "I wanted to ask her but I was too shy. She seems really confident."
Suga laughed at V's misfortune. "You weren't able to form words around her."
RM smiled as he listened to the boys jokingly fight over the girl. They often fawned over pretty girls, but usually not the same one. His mind got lost in thought.
Suga's phone went off. He looked at it, seeing a text from Jen. "I win." he said, showing the text message around as if it were a gold medal.
Both V and J-Hope sighed. RM laughed at their behavior. It was cute and charming, but also somewhat childish. He rolled his eyes listening to them talk about her.
Jen woke several times during the night to find him snuggled with her pillows. She thought he looked like a sweet angel when he slept. He snored softly and looked at peace.
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In the morning, he was gone. She yawned and stretched. He didn't wear a cologne - instead he smelled of incense with hints of honey and lemon. His scent lingered on her sheets. It smelled as interesting as he was.
It was her day off, she wasn't in a hurry to do anything today. She made her morning coffee. She looked out the window, mug in hand, to see if the bus was outside. It wasn't. For a minute she thought it was all a dream until she noticed a note on her console table.
"Thank you for everything. -Namjoon"
She smiled at the note and looked at the dishes in the sink from the noodles and in that instant it hit her like a truck. Last night was real. And amazing - but short-lived. She honestly had the best night of her life. It really doesn't go up from here, she thought to herself.
   Her doorbell rang. She opened the door to find flowers on the deck. A beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers of all colors. Bringing the flowers in, she set them on her dining table and checked the card.
https://www.wattpad.com/story/278213084-breaking-free-bts-rm-kim-namjoon-fanfiction
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charlthotte · 4 years
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Breaking Through the Iron Wall - Aone Takanobu x Reader
Chapter 8
A sharp bout of pain erupted from my face, luckily I hadn't been knocked out - but I'm pretty sure I nearly was. My eyes stung with the great amount of pain exuding from my nose, the force from the ball had surely disrupted something. As if on cue, a warm liquid began seeping down my nostrils, a red liquid. I quickly pinched the bridge of my nose and rolled my head backwards, in an effort to not let my blood splatter onto the gym floor. Everyone's faces turned around to mine, along with a sheepish looking Futakuchi rubbing the back of his neck. Before any of them could make their way over to me, Kamasaki strutted up to Futakuchi and held him the the neck of his shirt - beginning to throw him around rather violently, screaming all kinds of obscenities into his face. It was fair to say that it was absolute chaos, chaos that wouldn't stop any time soon.
One sentence I could determine out of Kamasaki's bellowing was a demand of an apology directed at me. Making it obvious that the grimace was the one to spike to ball at my face. The news didn't surprise me - and I doubted that it'd surprise me if the spike was intentionally aimed at myself, after all - it was Futakuchi. Their dispute didn't seems to be slowing down, despite the whole team - including Moniwa begging them to stop. However, when Aone tried to put himself between them - their little joust halted almost immediately. Almost like Aone's presence scared them well enough into submission.
While everyone else was focused on the ended quarrel, I attempted to sneak out - so I could make it to the bathroom to clean myself up, only for Futakuchi to run up behind me - closely followed by Aone. "I'm sorry (L/N)," He whispered, acknowledging me by my name for the first time, "Feel free to spike me in my face if you want." His voice felt guilty, a stark contrast to his cocky personality.
"It's okay, Futakuchi." I smiled at him, which felt so peculiar that it almost made me cringe. I ushered him away with a curt nod of my head. He walked away obediently, his head hanging lower than his knees. It would have cruel to admit that I found his guilt almost funny. Once again, I tried to leave the gym, this time I managed it - however, Aone still followed closely behind me. I didn't mind his company. Once we arrived at the bathroom; he waited outside the ajar door as I finally let the staunched blood flow from my nose trickle into the sink. There wasn't an abundant amount of blood nor was there a sparse amount, but you could hardly call any blood flow average. Looking in the mirror - my face was still coloured with a reddish hue from the impact of the ball, I proceeded to wash the rest of the blood from under my nose.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Aone peering into the bathroom looking slightly concerned. I honestly didn't understand why he came just to stand outside of the bathroom, but the fact that he was there was the important part. After grabbing a towel and drying my face, then grabbing some tissues for safety precautions - I shuffled my way over to him, smiling through the faint pain still pulsing through my face. I held the tissues up to my nose, hoping to catch any excess blood with it. "Thanks for staying here, Aone." I professed. Without speaking any words, he replied - by nodding and his lip curling up, but only on the left side as always. Out of the blue, he sneezed with the high and delicate tones identical to that morning. That sneeze coming from him was just purely adorable, perhaps even more adorable than before. 
"(L/N), are you feeling better?" He questioned, his deep voice almost at the volume of a whisper. That was the first time he said my name, overall it wasn't really a big thing - but somehow him saying my name just made me feel just the littlest bit happier on the inside.
I was taken aback by his sudden use of words, "Yes, I am. Even if it does still sting a little."
His face dropped upon hearing that, it fell into something I could discern as a scowl of unhappiness or disappointment. It didn't seem he felt that way because I was in pain, but rather the reason why I was in pain. And of course, that was Futakuchi. I made it obvious to Futakuchi that I held little to no resentment towards him due to his little escapade, however it seemed like Aone was holding onto that resentment for me. But, his invitation of a spike to his face as punishment was still open and part of me just ached to do it out of spite.
When I entered the gym once again, only one person acknowledged it, and of course it was my vicious attacker. Automatically, I made eye contact with him, only for him to snap his neck in a different direction - his face painted with an expression of guilt. But, I didn't have time for anything like that - I headed up to the office to try and book some practice matches for the team, we did need the practice and the chance to observe our potential opponents - no matter who they were.
Almost every school in the prefecture had rejected us, the other schools being ones I knew we would have no chance in playing. There was only a small list of schools outside the prefecture, but all I could do was hope. Call after call, every team denied us, until there was only one school left the list. A school all the way from Tokyo. I hesitantly dialled them and after a few rings they picked up. The person on the other side of the call was the first to speak.
"Good afternoon, is that Date Tech High calling?"
"Yes it is, thank you for returning my call."
"You're welcome. What is it you wanted to inquire about?"
"I was wondering if we could arrange a practice match, no problem if that isn't possible."
"That'd be great, however, we are only free two weeks from now and for a limited amount of time that day. So it would have to be held here."
"That is completely fine. Thank you very much for entertaining my request."
"You're welcome again, however I do have to warn you about our ace, he can be more than a little unpredictable."
"Well I'm sure we can work our way around it, see you then."
"I doubt you will. See you then."
-
And I had done it, I'd fixed us our first practice match of the year... Against a powerhouse school, and from what I knew - one of the top five aces in the country. I was sure it'd be very difficult seeing as they had been making it to nationals for the past few years. Fukurodani Academy was our first opponent of the year, and that was rather exciting. Sure there was only a minimal chance of success, but other Miyagi schools probably wouldn't compare to a powerhouse school like them.
I basically ran down to the gym, rearing to break the news I had. But when I arrived at my destination, everyone was too engrossed in their practice to pay any attention to me. Avoiding any stray balls, I sauntered my way over to the coach, telling him that I had something to tell the team. And once he called them all to attention, they sat around me like a bunch of interested children.
"Okay so... I've managed to book you all a practice match. They were the only school that could play us - all the way in Tokyo. They're called Fukurodani Academy. Now, they are a powerhouse school with one of the nation's top five spikers who I've heard is very unpredictable, but I'm sure our iron wall will be of some competition to them. It takes place two weeks from now, and I hope you'll all do your best."
I was sure that their faces would be full of an elated expression, yet their faces were plastered with pure and utter shock.
Moniwa was the first to break the chilling silence, "Thank you so much, (L/N). A practice match against a team like Fukurodani is truly an opportune thing."
Almost in a blink of an eye, the team's faces - excluding Aone - all lit up with the excitement I'd been expecting. But before they had any time to celebrate - the coach instructed them to get back to practice and celebrate once it was all over. I too, had things I needed to do - for example book our overnight accommodation for two weeks in the future. There were only a few places in our price range and willing to house a whole volleyball team. To be exact, there were only 3. The first was the cheapest, but the furthest away from the venue, and it couldn't house our whole team, meaning most of the first years would have to stay home. The second was a cute little inn next to a river, both the pricing and distance regarding our venue were moderate. The last was only slightly under the budget yet was extremely close to Fukurodani Academy.
After thinking about it, I decided the best option for accommodation was the averagely priced and distanced inn, after all - it was the only option without any major downsides - the whole team could stay and there was still a little amount of money left over. Even though the match was two weeks away - I could already feel the excitement beginning to boil up inside of me.
By the time I had finished with all my managerial business, I headed back down to the gym to find that practice had already finished and the team had nearly finished tidying up. It seemed that there were a few rouge balls that needed returning to their home, so two by two I put them all back. Once that task was finished, I headed to the clubroom so I go home for the day. The clubroom was the only place where I could be guaranteed to be left alone, even at home - there were always people looming on the other side of the door.
Just like yesterday, I took my time readying myself for the walk down to the train station. I knew because of how much time I spent in there, I'd have to catch a later train, which if I did, I knew my mother wouldn't be happy with when I got home, but the chances of her being there in the first place were slim. I tried to get those thoughts out of my head while walking down the stairs, but my brain must have been going into its overload mode.
At the bottom of the stairs stood Aone, even though waiting there caused him to miss his train - but I was sure he had his reasons for staying. But If his reason was simply just to wait for me, it would honestly have made me feel like a burden to him. He shouldn't go out of his way for a person who he hasn't even known a week. "Aone... You didn't need to wait for me, you've probably missed your train by now - I'm sorry." I uttered solemnly.
"Don't apologise." He declared, his voice sounding more confident than the last time he spoke.
"Okay, just don't wait for me again. Especially if it is to your detriment." I sighed, just feeling really uncomfortable that someone did something for me that didn't benefit them. In return, he shook his head. I could say so many things to retort to that in opposition, but I decided to stay silent; in fear of starting something unnecessary. 
We walked for a while in complete silence - but it wasn't a pleasant silence for me: I felt like internally and externally screaming. The silence stayed around us in a stagnant air until a cheery little dog being walked by its owner trundled passed us. That reminded me of the beagle I saw at Aone's door the day before. "Hey Aone... I saw your dog yesterday, it was really cute." When he heard that he almost blushed - the reason behind him flushing red; I didn't know but it was still kind of adorable either way.
I tried to look away from his face, I knew I'd feel a bit embarrassed if I looked at him for any longer, only to look at my watch and learn that we had ages before the next train came. And suddenly, a rather spontaneous idea popped into my head. I had read last night about the bay tree and how it symbols everlasting glory, any good garden centre would have one and that was where we were going to go.
"Okay, this may sound crazy but can you follow me?" Aone sheepishly nodded his head, his face still emblazoned with the same shade of red. I had a rough idea as to where the garden centre was, it wasn't that far away.
By following the route of my memory - the garden centre soon came into view, at least we hadn't gotten lost. The whole way Aone followed my footsteps, most definitely confused about what my plan was. The shop was only small, making it rather easy to navigate. The bay trees were near the back, all at reasonable prices. There was rather a selection of them, but one stood out to me the most - a bay tree sapling. I thought that maybe a sapling would carry more meaning as it and its glory would grow alongside each other, not to mention something else.
While making my way to the counter to pay, I explained to Aone what the meaning of the bay tree was, his face seemed to hint that he was feeling a little bit impressed. After paying and leaving the centre, I presented the sapling to Aone, as a gift and as an apology for burdening him earlier. Even though it was only small, he held onto the tree with both of his hands as if to not let it go. Even after we got on the train, he still never let a single finger become unlatched from it, he never even let his eyes wander away from it, almost as if it would disappear if he looked away.
"Thank you so much." He spoke out of the blue, but quietly enough so that only I could hear him, his face finally smiling with both sides of his mouth - it was a happiness I'd never seen come from him before. I may have been hallucinating - but his eyes almost seemed to sparkle beneath the light. Aone almost seemed like a different person - his stoic exterior had dropped, but only a little - just so I could begin to see the real him.
The rest of the journey home seemed to go by in a flash, by then it was my time to get out of the carriage. For some reason - gifting him the glory tree had just elevated my mood to a whole new high. As I walked passed the glass that Aone was behind, I waved goodbye to him, a huge smile upon my face. The thing I saw next completely shocked me, Aone waved back, also having a smile upon his face. Not just any normal lip curl of his - but an actual smile, the most perfect, textbook example of one. Walking home, I could hardly contain my elation - normally receiving a smile from someone was a run of the mill thing, but I had no idea why seeing Aone smile directly at me like that just made me so delighted yet so uneasy on the inside. I didn't want that feeling to leave me.
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Mage of Doom
There is a beginning to everything, as well as an end. A never-ending loop that completes its cycle well over a million times each and every day, just as someone else’s loop begins. Each and every one of us had an extremely slim chance of being able to experience this loop, and yet here we are. While we will one day finish our cycles and return to the Earth, the ocean, the air and the flames, no one ever knows for certain when that time may come. Everything within our lives ends, that much is certain. Whether it be our favorite TV show reaching its finale, closing a book that brought so many moments of laughter, anxiety, and crying, a relationship that seemed so promising at first only to slowly wilt away with time, all things have a beginning and an end. Even this blog will have its end someday, as there are only so many Classpects to examine and analyze. Until then, though, let’s try not to think of what the future may hold, as the future is something yet to be determined. All that matters is that of the present moment - something none of us can ever escape. Let’s stay in the present so that the last moments of Oculus October are not filled with stress or worry, but rather of reflection and meditation as to what this month has brought us. Without further ado, this is the analysis of the final Mage: the Mage of Doom.
Death, tragedy, and suffering is happening all around us at every single second of every single day. Do you ever think about that? How, even if you are having a moment of peace and contentment, there have been countless moments of horrific pain, grief, and sorrow happening throughout the world around you? Not even the big headline stories of a tragic incident, or a global pandemic sweeping across the world, but all of the smaller, more individual cases of people screaming in pain, crying out in agony, begging for a moment of bliss, or even breathing in and out their final breath? Do you ever think about that? The Mage of Doom is one who doesn’t think about such things. Why this is could range from them simply not caring enough to think about the bigger world outside of their own life - their own bubble - or maybe it’s that they’ve never truly experienced a moment of gut-wrenching sorrow. Perhaps they have become numb to all of the horrors they see and pay witness to in their everyday life, and so decide to pay no mind to it. While the Mage of Doom may have friends, they are often friends that reflect upon the jagged shards that is the Mage of Doom’s personality. Even the people who are friends with the Mage of Doom may not entirely be sure why they find themselves drawn to the Mage. Maybe it’s because they’re just as quick to wallow in misery and lash out with anger towards others, they find someone so perfectly opposite to them yet almost exactly the same to them, or maybe they are also someone plagued by the sense of ever-looming dread and doom, as well as very aware of the suffering and death that riddles this world.
The Mage of Doom is quite the peculiar person to try and pin down for one solid type of personality, if only because they are known to be quick to change how they act and how they present themself. They are masters of hiding how they are really feeling from the world around them, though not to the same extent as Knights are known to do. No, these facades are often brought on because the Mage does not wish to seem weak or vulnerable to the world around them. They may not be fully aware of the true force of their Aspect, but they know and have seen enough to realize that being weak, letting people walk all over you, is what gets you hurt in this world. If there is one thing the Mage of Doom will try to avoid as best they can, it will be allowing their own bubble - their own sanctuary amidst the fire that cloaks the world - to be popped and tainted by their Aspect. Little does the Mage know that while they may feel as though their bubble is unbreakable - unpoppable - it is only because their Aspect has not revealed the true width of its power. When their Aspect realizes it is time for the Mage to experience their Aspect Awakening, there will be nothing that will be strong enough to protect the Mage from one of the most devastating of all.
As many as there are disasters and instances of suffering in this world, there are just as many ways in which the Mage first experiences their Aspect. Ranging from losing the place they called home in one way or another, experiencing the death of someone they loved and held dearly, to even having a near death experience themself, the possibilities are endless. After all, suffering is something that is often argued to be an objective thing, but that is so rarely the case. Fate holds no bias in her heart. If she were to hold any, it would be to the people who question her, try to look down upon or discard her, brushing her off as a force that does not truly matter. The Mage of Doom is someone who would most certainly fit this description, and so whatever suffering may happen to them is simply because Fate saw it best that they learn not only is Fate the one who looks down upon their world, but that she could just as easily crush it within her fist. This great moment of true suffering for the Mage is one where they will come to realize that not only is there misfortune and pain all around them, but that they are not immune to Fate and her punishments. While this will no doubt terrify the Mage in the beginning - or perhaps only lead them to live a life of more anger and bitterness - it will be through their journey that they will learn what their Aspect truly stands for. They will learn that while there may be Doom all around them, it does not always have to be something filled with gloom and misery. Ironically, the Doom Aspect can be something of beauty and wonder, as those bound to it are often known to be wise beyond their years and truly empathetic souls.
How will the Mage of Doom, in their present emotions of anger, pain, terror, and so many more, be able to learn this information? How can someone so willfully ignorant and uncaring to the suffering around become a person of patience, empathy, and wisdom? As always, there are the traditional two paths presented to all Classes, but there are most definitely a few other unique and special options the more creative souls may realize - no pun intended. However, for the final time in Oculus October, let’s begin with the Mages of Doom who seek out knowledge and understanding through their Aspect. Let’s be honest, there is no comfy or happy way to go about this journey, no matter how creative the Mage tries to be with their journey. Doom is all about suffering, taking on the pain of others so that they may live happier lives, and providing the company that misery deeply enjoys having. To relinquish one’s self to their Aspect so that they may gain knowledge through it is one of the most noble acts the Mage of Doom could commit, as it means they will have to experience, first-hand, all the ups and downs that their Aspect has to offer. This group of Mages are most definitely the ones who grew more anger in their hearts rather than fear for their Aspect.
They are the ones to climb atop a radio tower and scream at a raging, thundering storm to strike them down. They are the ones who will be the first to start a bar fight or a riot, and will just as easily be the shield those weaker than them need. They will throw themself at any hint of Doom they can, because the knowledge they gain is that of personal experience and growth.  With every scar they collect, every bullet they bite, every brush and encounter with death, all the Mage of Doom gains is a better understanding of not only the world around them and how it truly works, but they also come to understand themself and their place in the universe even more. Through Doom, they will gain the knowledge needed to truly approach, battle, and tame their Aspect. These are the Mages of Doom who may have the greater promise to be far more empathetic than the other group, if only because they have truly thrown themself at every instance of Doom there could be. By the end of it, they may still look upon Fate and laugh or sneer, and perhaps they will become confident enough to try and challenge her to give them her worst.
A fine line in which these Mages walk, though, is that of simply being in the right place and the right time in order to gain more knowledge through Doom or them always being the ones to inflict or incite Doom wherever they find themself to be. The answer to this is that it does truly depend on the Mage of Doom and who they are as a person. There are most definitely the Mages of Doom who will simply, accidentally or otherwise, always find themself to be in situations and scenarios where there is plenty of suffering for them to experience and gain knowledge through. It is through these moments of turmoil and struggle, though, that will learn and know more than they ever could before. As mentioned before, though, this is no traditional, external knowledge - at least not primarily. No, these Mages of Doom will primarily have an internal knowledge awakening, as they learn to be more sympathetic and kind to everyone. A stranger may cuss out and berate the Mage of Doom, but as long as they have followed the path of discovering and seeking out knowledge through experiencing Doom, then they will most likely not become as bothered by this encounter as they may once have. This is most entirely because they will think about why someone would come to a point of verbally attacking a complete stranger, rather than assuming the stranger is cruel because they wish to be cruel.
This perfectly leads to the other Mages of Doom who seek out knowledge through Doom, and it is these Mages of Doom some may deem to be, rather bluntly, morally reprehensible. That is to say that these are the ones who provoke and agitate many people around them, trying to bring about the Doom they wish to experience so that they may be more knowledgeable. However, it would be false to say that is all there is to these specific Mages. Unfortunately, they also seek out this knowledge through inflicting these feelings of Doom onto anyone else around them. Whether it is by simply becoming someone so toxic and damaging, yet entrapping and alluring to those around them, or by simply targeting a person and bringing an immense amount of suffering, pain, and grief to their target, their prey, these Mages of Doom hold no qualms or have any moral dilemmas when it comes to being the one who brings Doom to others, if only so that they will not have to experience it. They took their anger and their fear and dropped it on top of other people, all so that they may gain their own knowledge: the knowledge of what makes people squirm - what makes them weak, frail, defective. Most importantly, it gives them the knowledge of how they can make other people hurt and suffer, as well. It is these Mages of Doom who made their own path, and it is one made of broken glass and thorny roses and vines.
The Mages who choose the path of seeking out knowledge through their Aspect are plentiful and come in many shapes, sizes, and motives, but let’s not give them all the run-time this show has to offer. After all, there is one more entire group left to put under scrutiny: the Mages who sought after knowledge of Doom itself. These are the Mages of Doom who experienced fear far more than they experienced anger in their Aspect Awakening. Not only experiencing their own bubble of paradise so tragically, and perhaps even horrifically, being popped, but also realizing that they can no longer live in such a blissful ignorance to the world around them. At least, not if they truly wish to survive in the reality they now find themself within. Having been now made aware that, not only are they not exempt from suffering, but that all they have heard over the years of all the tragedies, the disasters, all the brutalities and pain happening to those they love and they don’t know is, unfortunately, true. However, this is not enough knowledge or awareness for the Mage of Doom to settle for. They are someone who is more than willing to come forth and admit that they messed up, as well as swearing themself to search for all instances of Doom - to learn the signs, the flags, the warnings, if only to keep not only themself safe, but keep everyone else safe, as well.
These journeys for the Mage of Doom are far more akin to that of a redemption arc - as they begin their story choosing to ignore and dismiss everyone’s problems, until they are brought to the throne of justice that is Fate, wherein she reveals to them that they are no different than anyone else. No matter their class, their identity, their privileges, no one is ever truly exempt from suffering. It is through the fear that they are given the chance to truly reflect on who they are as a person, and whether they wish to continue living in fear of what Fate has planned next for them or if they would rather try to find a way to defend themself. Of course, there will most definitely be the Mages who pick the former option, if only because they have a sliver of hope that they may get to somehow recreate their bubble of false safety and continue living in ignorance. It’s scary to have to face the truth, especially when that truth pertains to having to realize that the world is not as beautiful as it appeared through rose colored glasses. As for the ones who do decide to go down their path of discovery - swallowing down any pride and/or prejudice they may have had left - they are the Mages of Doom that will grow more towards becoming wiser and kinder.
Starting out small, they will try to look for Doom in territory that they are familiar with, primarily within their own friend group and perhaps even family. Before their Aspect Awakening, they may not have cared or even really bothered to show any real support or care to their loved ones, but Fate can sometimes change even the most stubborn of souls. In the beginning, they may be a little clumsy in how they go about finding out knowledge of Doom - perhaps even to the extent of being downright rude and insensitive, asking, or even demanding their best friend to tell them all of their woes, traumas, and struggles in life. This could most definitely earn the Mage some more suffering of their own, whether it is in the form of physical, mental, or social struggling. Asking the wrong question at the wrong time, thus earning them a smack to the mouth, hearing of some piece of trauma so deeply upsetting that it leaves the Mage horribly shaken for many hours or even days, or becoming so desperate to become the supportive friend that they instead become an unbearing force and person to be around, causing some friends to become weirded out and leave the Mage. It won’t be an easy journey for the Mage of Doom, especially because they will have to eventually tread out into unknown waters, wherein they will subject themself to learning and researching more instances of suffering and cruelty in the world.
Over time, though, they will become someone who learns how to properly reach out to those in need. While they may not be a healer like that of a Life-bound, they are one of the few Doom-bound who would be the most trustworthy individuals to go to in order to vent about a rough day, or confide in a piece of trauma you may have gone through. It is through seeking out this knowledge of Doom that these Mages of Doom will also learn to become extremely non-judgemental to those around them, even if someone has done something exceptionally terrible. Not only that, but they have great promise in becoming a great advocate for many different things, whether it be advocacy for something as simple as individualistic self care, or the overthrowing of a corrupt government and policy that has always brought on more harm than good. They are someone who will not only have knowledge of Doom, but will be able to try and avoid it as often and as best they can in their day to day life. Do not mistake this as the Mage of Doom becoming naive or having convinced themself that they are now capable of avoiding Doom altogether - oh, no, not one bit. The Mage of Doom is well aware that suffering will forever be part of their life now that they have become aware of it, and it is with this knowledge that brings them the most ultimate suffering. They are aware they can’t help everyone, much to their dismay, but that is why they will always try to find those experiencing the most suffering and simply try to be there for those people. They may not be as empathetic as the other group, but they will be damned if they are not viewed as kind and caring - especially in comparison to who they once were.
The Mage of Doom is one who began their journey in a life of false safety and blissful ignorance. While ignorance may be a blissful thing for those privileged enough to obtain it, it is inevitable that one day Fate will take notice of their lack of suffering and selfishness. It may feel as though they are splashed awake with ice cold water, rather than that of a gentle kiss, and depending on the Mage this will either send them down a path of heated anger and vengeance, or scrambling for a trail that will help for them to realize that it is not only them who suffers, but that there are those who most certainly have had it far worse than they could ever have imagined. While some of them may finish their journey far more empathetic and patient or acquire more wisdom and kindness, there is no doubt that the Mage of Doom will most certainly not be the same person that they were when their journey finally comes to a close. In a way, it could be argued that during their journey, the Mage went through many stages of inner, personal death in many ways and many forms. Whichever way you interpret is most likely not far off for at least one of the many, many Mages of Doom out there in the world.
During their journey, the Mage of Doom would not only learn to overcome their anger or their fear, but also learn how to change and mold it into something that can be helpful to themself and their allies. For those who sought out knowledge through Doom and the anger it caused, they would come to realize that life is a finite thing. It doesn’t last forever, much like everything else in the known universe, but that does mean they should be living in fear and despair over their limited time. Rather, they are someone who will go out and try to live everyday as though it were their last, if only because, for all they or anyone else knows, it could very well be their last. They’ve taken the anger their Aspect Awakening brought them and changed it to become a driving force to try and see the better side of things - even if everything is crumbling to the ground and falling apart before their eyes. For the more morally dubious Mages of Doom within this group, they are the ones who truly believe that the more destruction and despair there is, the better and more fun the entirety of life becomes. Through this knowledge, though, the Mage of Doom will also learn how truly unique not only they themself are, but also how unique everyone around them is. While so many people suffer everyday, it is how that misery confronts us that truly makes us unique. Despite this, though, these Mages of Doom are still the ones to show the most kindness and empathy towards those around them, especially if they come to the Mage with a problem of their own.
As for those who wished to chase after knowledge of Doom, they are the ones who overcome the fear that they are left to suffer alone, or that it is only them to be riddled with so much misfortune. While they may have a rough start in trying to present themself as someone trying their best to care and support others, it is through all the countless arguments, lost relationships, and healed wounds that they will eventually grow to be a kinder and more loving soul. Not only will they become far more aware that they are not alone in their suffering, but rather that almost everyone in the world has their own struggles, trials, and tribulations that they must face every single day. It is through this journey that they will learn to be kinder to those around them, for they were given the gift of ignorance when they were born, and it was only by Fate’s hand that they were awakened to the true horrors happening in the world around them. They will also gain great wisdom in how to approach these issues, learning plentiful tips on how to present themself, approach their own and other people’s issues, and when to also simply accept when one is defeated. They are the Mages who will grow to be more humble in their suffering - prioritizing and trying their best to assure everyone else that the problems they, the people, face deserve more attention and resolution than those who do not even know what true suffering is. If no one else will do anything to support those in need, then these Mages of Doom will be more than happy to sit down with these people. If the other party is so willing, then they will just as happily listen to all the problems the person has weighing down on them, as well.
In regards to powers, there are many ways in which the Mages of Doom may use these knowledgeable capabilities. Whether it is achieving knowledge of or through their Aspect, chances are their overall role in the group will be like that of a guide. Not just any guide, though. They will be the guide who will be more aware of all the possible mistakes and Doomed Timelines to come of them, and so it will be their job to try and steer them and their group away from such dangers. For the Mages who sought knowledge through their Aspect, they will indeed be able to acquire this knowledge of immediate threats or approaching threats, but it will often have to come at a price - oftentimes involving that similar to a sacrifice, specifically a sacrifice of a personal thing connected to the Mage themself. Meanwhile, the Mages who merely sought knowledge of Doom will be far more capable and have a generally easy time to act as this guide. They will be able to focus on one decision - one situation, person, or object - and be able to see all of the mistakes that could come forth of mishandling such a thing. Another thing is that they will simply be able to focus their mind if they wish to try and find or sense any threats to them and/or the group. This could come quite in handy with a battle, but they should most definitely not be seen as the ultimate guide for the group. The reason for this is because, unfortunately, they will never be able to see the good options, only the bad. Due to this, some people may only ever see the Mage of Doom as a negative and pessimistic force who only ever looks towards the bad things. For some of the Mages of Doom, this is rarely the case, while for others, this is indeed extremely true for them and their fatalistic attitudes towards existence.
At the end of the day, though, what they truly strive towards is being someone that can be that one friend you can trust with your problems. Even after all they have been through, they may not be the advice or the healing friend, but they are the one who knows and understands that sometimes you simply need a body to hold onto and hug, or to simply sit in somber silence with. They may have great wisdom, or extremely deep empathy, but it is something that has come with a great, personal price to the Mage of Doom. While there may be some who do regret going on their adventure - perhaps because they had extremely different expectations of what would come of it - there are still plenty of others who will happily take on the role of keeping misery company if only to gain a better understanding of who they are or to make sure someone’s struggles are heard and understood. Not every Mage of Doom will be sunshine and rainbows when it comes to their existence, and there are most certainly some Mages who would rather keep what they learned to themself rather than share it with everyone else, if only because the turmoil that will come from it bring them a twisted sense of glee and satisfaction. Whether they are a Mage of Doom who tries their best to remain positive, even in the face of certain terror and perhaps even death, or they are one who believes that all there is to life is suffering and pain before the sweet release of death, there is one thing for certain amongst all of them. They are aware that everything will come to an end eventually, and there will be many moments of suffering along the way. That does not matter to them, though. What matters is how we choose to live out the moments we have to their fullest, and to not take what we have for granted while it’s still there, because you never know which moment will be your last. This is what the Mage of Doom believes in and holds close to their heart.
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serararku · 3 years
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Dancing in the Sand Pt 3
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The sun had ducked beneath the horizon by the time Zevi made it to the designated area at the edge of the territory. Just like Era described, the half-sundered boulder concealed a crevice only a young kitten could run through. Between the dry shrubs clinging to life rested the path he was instructed to follow, but he couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched. He half-expected an animal had made its home in the widened opening halfway through this secret passage, but what he found was far more intriguing.
A small clay pot filled with hastily made arrows sat along what looked to be an old campsite; half of them were of terrible quality, with the others not even finished. A pile of rocks cut and sharpened sat in the corner of this little hovel. But the paintings are what held his attention the longest. There were two Miqo'te standing side by side with the sun shining over their heads; one was short with black hair and blue eyes, and the other was disproportionately tall, with long white hair and an over emphasis on its bright orange eyes. There was no doubting it- this was Era’s doing when she first left her tribe to search for S'tage. This place was cut off from the elements, meaning these paintings would last for decades… perhaps even much longer. She had to be down here for a few days in hiding to make these drawings, as well as all the projects she started but never finished.
"Would she do this for me?" A thought crept along the back of his neck to whisper doubt into his ear. "If I were captured… would she devote this much energy to save my life? If he returned from beyond the grave… would she run off with him?" R'zevi couldn't decide if it was the dropping temperature of the desert night or his waning confidence that was responsible for the chill running up his spine, but he could no longer ignore this dreadful cold. But he wasn't here to sit in this cave to witness the obsessive adoration his lover once had for another man. With nothing else left to look at, he promptly turned to leave this place behind.
As soon as he stepped out of the narrow passage and into a wide clearing between the crags the hair's on the back of his neck stood up; immediately he stopped and looked upward, locking eyes with a band of tribal women wearing beige leathers for camouflage, and armed to the teeth with stained bone spears and longbows. They stood along the edge of the cliff, their eyes glowing dimly against the backdrop of the starless sky. Was he caught? Was this a search party he was supposed to avoid? Zevi’s mind was abuzz with questions with limited ways to find answers. They knew this area far better than he did, so running was probably not a good idea. On the other hand, Era would likely never forgive him if he fought them, especially if he managed to wound, maim, or even kill any of them. Against his better judgement he remained perfectly still, his pale blue eyes glimmering right back at them. This silent staring contest would have to continue until one of them made a move.
“It’s alright. This is the one she promised.” A voice called out in that familiar huntspeak, provoking Zevi to turn his head. A tribal woman stood beside a bed of flowering cacti, armed with only her flowing brown hair and glowing green eyes. It was like looking through time to stare face to face at Era twenty summers into the future. He knew they would look alike, sure, but he expected her to have some features from her father; the resemblance was almost uncanny. She looked up at the women and nodded, sending the hunting party away to give them some privacy. “Come closer… we have much to discuss.”
Zevi’s ears flattened for a moment as he warily watched the hunting party move away. Gradually his ears lifted as it seemed that the party had no intention of doubling back. Satisfied that he wasn’t about to take an arrow -- or worse, to the back, he turned his attention to the woman before him, taking a few cautious steps in her direction. “S’yuun?”
“Yuun is fine. You must be Zevi, yes?” She calmly smiled, seemingly relaxing once she heard his voice.
“Yes, my name is Zevi.”
“Wonderful.” Once she was close enough to touch, she began to circle him, poking at his chest and stomach inspectantly, before running her fingers along the scars and muscles on his arms; she seemed to be grading him. “So you’re the one who convinced my daughter to abandon her duty for so long, hm?”
He watched as she sized him up, his brow furrowing for a moment while she touched his form; he’d expected an inspection of some kind, but this wasn’t quite what he had in mind. “Convinced?” He repeated, indignantly. “I was concerned for her when she decided to return, to visit the tribe, but I never tried to convince her not to go. Era’s will is her own and I’ve known that from the beginning.” His gaze continued to follow the older Miqo’te, cautious -- but trying not to be overly guarded.
Just as Era warned, her mother had a poor grasp of personal space. She reached up to run a hand through his hair, traced his jawline with a finger, and pressed her palm against his chest in several places. Zevi struggled to resist pushing her hands away; she was making him feel more like a prized pig or a slab of meat than an actual person. Even worse, she either didn’t notice or didn’t care how uncomfortable she was making him. “That’s not entirely true. Era is governed by her emotions. Just like her father.” At last her inspection ended when she wrapped her arms around her waist, and he could breathe easy- for now.
“She...can be a bit emotional at times, yes...” He admitted.
Yuun didn’t seem to hear him while she practically undressed him with her eyes. “Plenty of scars and muscles. And not bulky, ugly muscles. Lean. Practical. A real body befitting a real man… unlike our Nunh.” She then motioned for him to follow her, but she didn’t walk far. Just a few paces away she unfolded a fur blanket and draped it along the ground. She sat crossed-legged before patting the blanket beside her. “Have you… come to kill him?”
Zevi waited for her to sit before easing down onto the blanket, with an eyebrow perking at the comparison. His ears tilted back as his brow furrowed - he’d had these talks before. “It’s not my intent, no. Era doesn’t seem too keen on sharing, and when I left my tribe I made the decision to live in the Free Cities, rather than attempt to become a Nunh -- I hear the life expectancy is a bit better for Tias there.”
“How peculiar…” Yuun’s smile was soft but fleeting. “I have three sons. One is still with us, too young to yet survive on his own, and two sons out there training to become Nunhs. A part of me hopes they succeed… but the chances of that are… very slim. They were frail kittens when they were born, and…” She trailed off to wring her hands together. “I wish they had the courage to leave this life behind. Maybe… they’re in your tribeless cities with lovers of their own?” Her voice was more hopeful than factual, as if she was trying to convince herself of what she was saying.
“Maybe they did make the decision to give the Free Cities a go - there are many Tias out there, quite a few of them with families of their own. So it is a possibility…” He trailed off, swallowing roughly and lacing his hands together, unable to stop the frown that formed as she spoke of the choice he knew was inevitably going to come.
Not eager to dwell on the idea of her dead sons any longer, she cleared her throat and promptly changed the subject. “Well… if you’re not here to kill Vahli, then there’s only one way this ordeal will play out. My daughter will be found out eventually, and she’ll have to make a choice. Her family… or you.”
His gaze dropped to his hands, his hair long enough to cover his eyes. “I know that. I’ve always known that there would be a choice. First with Tage, and now with her family. I’ve never hid my wishes...for her to stay with me, have a family with me...but as I said, Era’s will is her own. Whatever she decides I’ll stand by - even if that means watching her leave.” He exhaled sharply before looking up once more.
Yuun couldn’t hide her laughter, or perhaps she didn’t even try. “Hahahah! If you think Era wouldn’t choose you over us, you haven’t been paying attention! This is bigger than a fawning obsession for a man she’s never mated with. What you two have is real, is it not? You have given her what no Nunh ever could. Happiness… happiness and the freedom to pursue it.”
Zevi blinked slowly. “I...yes, it’s very real. I just want her to be happy - whatever that means. I’d very much like for it to be with me...I enjoy our time together and she makes me happier than I can remember being. But I also know she loathes the idea of losing you. We’ve...briefly talked of the future before, of children...and the one damper on the conversation was the thought that you wouldn’t be able to see them.”
Yuun turned to watch the flashes of lightning far off in the distance, falling silent for a few long breaths. “I would love to be there when she gives birth to her first kitten. To hold my granddaughter in my arms… or grandson.” Her gaze flicked to Zevi for an instant as a smile danced along her lips again. “But I know she would never be happy as a tribewife. The bloodlust of her father courses through her veins. She’s a warrior, through and through.” Yuun eventually turned her body to face Zevi directly. “I want you to do something for me.”
He watched her for a moment, before letting his gaze get pulled away by the distant lighting - a small smile gracing his features as he recalled another impactful thunderstorm not all that long ago. His attention was pulled back as she spoke of ‘tribewives’ and he tilted his head as she turned to face him. “What’s that?”
"Protect my little kitten. Be her voice of reason when next she does something reckless." Her stare was piercing. "And I want grandkittens. Lots of them. I may never see or hold them myself, but… knowing she is happy will always be more important."
Zevi nodded as she spoke, turning to focus on Yuun once more - rather than watching the distant lightning. “I’ll do my best...in all regards. And maybe...one day...you will get to see and hold your grandchildren. I mentioned we talked about children - but we did note it might not be for a little while…”
Yuun didn't seem to mind, simply shrugging and turning back to the storm. The wind was beginning to pick up, tossing her auburn hair aloft before she reached up with both hands to tame it. "When she left us to chase after that dead man, I was convinced my oldest daughter would never return, or worse- get herself killed out there. Many nights I had nightmares of her laying in a pool of her own making, calling out for me as she faded away. I don't expect you to understand the loss of a child, but… it was all I could think about for moons on end. And just when I thought I had grown numb to the pain, I turned around and she's standing there smiling like she never left." She gave Zevi a side glance before continuing with, "Knowing she's alive and happy is good enough for me. Take her far away from this place when the time comes, Zevi of the Raptor Tribe. She deserves a peaceful life… you both do."
He reached up and ran a hand through his hair - a nervous habit. “I’ll take care of her, Yuun. I never felt at home with my tribe. I didn’t feel at home in the Free Cities. I didn’t know what home was until I met Era.” He paused, before his ears folded back a bit. “I...didn’t mention my tribe. How did you know?”
She gave him a playful smile before reaching over to trace her fingers along his chin to wipe away any comfort he had built up since sitting down alongside her. "Your markings gave it away. It's difficult to tell at a distance… but up close it's obvious." Yuun licked her lips before continuing. "More than a few Tia from your tribe have come to challenge our Nunh." She leaned over and took his hand to trace the markings on her own face. "See? Every woman from the Zu Tribe has the same markings. We check those to ensure a bought tribewife or upcoming Tia isn't from another sect… to prevent inbreeding."
“That...doesn’t surprise me. The fact that there have been more than a few Tias from my tribe. There were quite a few Nunhs when I was growing up who didn’t last very long. My father was one of them.” His brow furrowed and he hummed thoughtfully, as he lowered his hand. “I never paid any attention to the markings, but then again - I didn’t have any intention of remaining with the tribe, so I suppose I didn’t need to.” He reached up to rub the back of his neck before glancing out towards the storm in the distance once again. Yuun must have noticed the tonal shift when he mentioned his father; and she had just the thing to distract him.
"The love for my children is boundless. However the intimacy between two kindred spirits is something I will never know firsthand…" The woman casually untied her fur wrappings, letting what little clothes she wore slide down her figure. She then turned to gaze at him with a familiar hunger in her eyes, as naked as the day she was born; and when she reached out for him, she draped a leg over his lap to straddle him.
It took a moment for Zevi to process what was happening. His eyes widened as she settled herself onto him, the action effectively knocking him from his shock induced stupor. He’d known there might be an attempt - he’d been acutely aware of just how close the older woman was as he’d sat down on the blanket. "Lay with me like you do with my daughter.” Her voice was soft and eager now, but it sounded more like a command than a request. She could feel his heart pounding against his chest, and it only made her devious grin grow. “I want to taste true love for myself. These desert nights are so cold… won't you warm yourself inside me?" Yuun didn't even wait for his reply before she pressed her breasts against him when she leaned forward, her hands slipping between them to undo his belt.
He blinked hard several times and swallowed roughly, but he reached down to still her hands before the belt could be removed. “Yuun...no.” He looked up with a face flushed red, his gaze locking with hers. “I love your daughter, and I made a promise to her. I won’t break that promise.”
She paused from undressing him, but didn’t make a move to get off him. "You know what she had to do in order for our Nunh to listen to her, yes? Was that not fair to you? Why should you keep a promise when she did not?" She slowly brushed her nose against his, and brought her alluring voice down to a whisper. "Tell me you don’t want this..."
“I know...what she did with the Nunh, yes. She told me the day she returned.” He gave a shaky exhale as he paused to gather his thoughts. “I was...angry, hurt - on some level I still am-...but I knew it was a possibility when she left.” His ears flattened against his head. “I almost expected it, to be honest. She wanted to see her family again, and there was going to be a price to pay. But that...that was Era’s choice. When I give my word, Yuun, I do my best to see it through. I gave Era my word - I won’t betray that trust, even if she betrayed mine.”
A warm smile lit up her face as she stared into his eyes, eventually pulling her hands away from his waist to caress his chin. "My, my… you are a strange one." She then looked hungrily at his lips, silently contemplating whether or not she would push him onto his back and sleep with him anyway; instead she leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek, before lifting her leg and to slide out of his lap. "I won’t tempt you any further." Yuun assured, running her hands through her hair one last time before she began reaching for her furs. "But I should warn you about that other Tia. He had no such restraint to reveal how he felt about my daughter." Her bright green eyes flashed in his direction again once she pulled her clothes over her head. "He loves her, I think. A different kind than you two share, but just as passionate. Safe travels… and thank you for humoring me."
Zevi relaxed as she slid off of his lap and dressed before his gaze narrowed in her direction. “...What other Tia? K’thalen??”
Yuun simply shrugged, visibly disappointed that her night would end with far less excitement than she had planned. "I didn't catch his name, but he's certainly of the Hipparion Tribe. Dark skin and yellow eyes… does that sound familiar?"
He nodded as he focused on fixing his belt. Era had the same air of disappointment when he told her no; yet another personality quirk she inherited from her mother... “K’thalen. She was living with him when we met and was intimate with him for a time.”
"People don't change so easily. Passion doesn't burn out at the snap of one’s fingers." With a gentle sigh and a subtle frown, Yuun reluctantly rose to her feet to begin preparing her trip back to the heart of her territory. "Era may be obsessed with you, but that doesn't mean her previous lovers have let go of their desires. Just some food for thought."
He stood, casting one more glance out at the horizon and the distant storm. Appropriate. “We’ve discussed Thalen. Part of the reason she moved into my apartment was because of the...of my discomfort with her living with him.” He frowned as he reached up to rub the back of his neck. Yuun on the other hand simply pretended she knew what an ‘apartment’ was. “...I wouldn’t expect other’s passions to fade overnight. Maybe it’s naive - but I trust her, Era - to be honest with me about what she wants...even when it’s painful to hear. If she wanted to be with K’thalen, she would be.”
Yuun silently stalked Zevi while he was distracted by the distant lightning, before running her hand down his arm and across his stomach to feel his muscles again; if she wasn’t attracted to his body, she certainly would have fooled him. "My daughter isn't the one you should be worried about. Men are driven by their desires… and even the best of them can succumb to their cravings. This Thalen seems harmless and kind enough, but the desire for her remains."
Zevi gave a long, slow exhale - focusing on what she was saying rather than the trail of her fingers. “The warning is duly noted. I can’t stop Thalen from wanting her, but I can do my damnedest to make sure that Era’s needs and desires are met...that she doesn’t have the need to look elsewhere to be satisfied…”
She turned away to pull the blanket off the ground before casually suggesting, "You could always challenge him for Era's affection. If you think you can take him, it would make him think twice about pursuing her when you're not around… or you could eliminate all doubt entirely and kill him."
He frowned as he glanced back over his shoulder at her. “I will do what I have to in order to protect Era, but she is also able to choose and take care of herself. Thalen can pursue - but that doesn’t mean she has to give in to his requests or desires. Ultimately, it’s Era’s choice to make.”
“It is her choice.” Yuun repeated, smiling briefly. Her sharp whistle carried far over the Thanalan wastes, as if she was calling something… or someone. Out of the darkness a lone woman came running, armed with a scimitar and small round shield. “Unfortunately this is where we have to part ways, unless you’ve changed your mind?” She gave Zevi a playful wink, but she didn’t wait to listen to his refusal again. “Chaje, I am ready to leave.” The stranger undressed Zevi with her gaze as well- he was beginning to notice a trend around here. She gently took the woman by the arm to usher her back to her territory. Yuun glanced over her shoulder one last time and waved, choosing to depart without muttering another word.
Zevi watched them leave, his form finally relaxing. He had played this scenario over and over in his head for the full week before tonight, and he was still woefully unprepared for what actually happened. Yuun was, in an uncomfortable number of ways, just like her daughter; she knew what buttons to press to get a reaction out of him. A fully developed woman straddling him while completely naked was not something he was prepared for as well; still his heart was pounding against his chest and his face remained vibrant red. That was perhaps the biggest difference between mother and daughter. Yuun was bold and definitely not lacking any confidence.
He could stand there like an idiot all night trying to process what just happened. A part of him-- a throbbing part, couldn’t help but wonder what would be happening right now if only he had taken Yuun up on her offer; but he had officially worn out his welcome, and he needed to leave. A sigh slipped from his lips before he turned to make his way back, following the same route that he’d used to arrive at his destination.  
---
Collaborated with @rzevi-tia-ffxiv​
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factoffictionwriter · 4 years
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Tiva Fic Amnesty #11
Here’s the start to a reunion fic - pre 2019 madness. I wrote this several years ago, so Cairo wasn’t a thing. This was all I got around to writing before it was forever banished to my ‘unwritten’ folder.
Ziva leaned against the doorframe, a warm mug of coffee in one hand and a sippy cup filled with tea in the other (cooled to room temperature and decaffinted, of course). She watched them sleep for a minute, Tali curled protectively around her stuffed dog and Tony curled protectively around her. 
Kelev had been a last minute addition to the go-bag. The dog had been a gift from none other than Schmiel Pinkus on the little girl’s first birthday. He had been struggling with several health issues at the time, but that hadn’t stopped him from visiting his girls to celebrate one full year of a new life. The old man passed away just a few weeks later, and Tali had been really affected (as affected at a one-year old can be). The little dog, the last gift given by a man who fawned over both of the David girls from the moment they were born had become a true staple around their home. An absolute necessity, to be honest. And Ziva had become so accustomed to the little toy being glued to her daughter’s side that she found it very hard to part with it. It was bad enough she had to separate from her daughter, did she really have to lose the stuffed dog as well? Couldn’t she just keep it with her and let it’s presence act as a stand in for the curly haired girl? Would that be so terrible? 
But in the end, the dog had made the trip to America because, frankly, Tali would not be able to sleep without him. And his comfort would be even more important as the girl started to realize that her mother was gone. 
She had used similar logic when deciding to stuff the old photo in the bag as well. The photo had sat on Tali’s changing table since the day she was born. The girl knew the photo like the back of her hand. Seeing it would bring her peace and joy. And if it sparked some sort of memory for Tony as well, then it was two birds with one frame, was it not? 
Tony stirred slightly, perhaps drawn back to consciousness by the enticing scent emanating from the mug.
He tightened his arms around his daughter for a moment before opening one eye. He looked around the room until he noticed Ziva standing there. He squinted up at her. 
“That coffee?” he asked, his voice gravely from sleep. 
She nodded. 
“For me?” 
She smiled as she pushed off the frame and made her way around to his side of the king bed he currently shared with a 2 year old. She set the mug on the side table before moving around to the other side, slowly shaking her daughter’s shoulder and offering her the sippy cup. 
Tony sat up reluctantly, watching the way Ziva’s small, fragile hands caressed their daughter’s hair and listening to the soft lull of her voice as she mumbled something in Hebrew that caused the toddler to perk up and reach for the tea. 
As Tali sipped happily, Ziva looked back over at him, “It is only noon. You will likely need the caffeine if you are to make it through the rest of the day.” 
He nodded and reached for the mug, choosing to believe that the warm was from her hand holding it before and not just from the warm liquid, “Jet lags a bitch.” 
She shot him a look before brushing curls out of Tali’s face. No cursing around the child. He would have to get used to that. 
Tali yawned and moved to be closer to her mother, snuggling up on the woman’s lap, her dog all but forgotten on the bed beside her. 
“Someone is still tired,” Ziva cooed as she watched her daughter, “If only there was something less addictive to help keep her awake.” 
“Sugar?” He asked as he sipped from his mug. 
Ziva shot him another look. 
He held up a hand in surrender, “Sorry. I’ve only been doing this parent thing for about a week.” 
She winced just a bit at the accusation in his voice. He silently scolded himself. Now was not the time to be angry with her. Now was the time to make amends. To get his family back. 
“Are you hungry? I was thinking about running down to that cafe across the street and getting some sandwiches or something. I can bring it back here if you want.” She barely glanced at him as she adjusted the toddler on her lap, who was once again fast asleep. 
Tony looked at her for a minute. Her hair was down with only the front pinned out of her face. She was wearing a thin, flowy white shirt that buttoned in the front with a black tank top underneath. She had on jeans with frays and rips around the knees. She looked younger somehow. Like she spent the past 3 years figuring out how to turn back the clock and reclaim her youth. In a way, he supposed she had. No better way to turn back time and redefine your life than to raise a kid. 
Then he looked down at Tali. Her sandy curls wild from sleep. Her fuzzy purple pajamas sitting sideways on her body from all the twisting and turning she did in her sleep (definitely Ziva’s kid). She looked peaceful. More peaceful than he had ever seen her. He felt like he was getting just a glimpse into what their lives had been like before he became involved. The two girls, smiling and laughing with each other, spending all day playing together and all night sleeping beside each other. 
That was the first thing Tony noticed when he visited the burnt remains of her little Israeli farmhouse: the charred pieces from the supposed nursery did not contain evidence of a bed. 
“Tali started sleeping with Ziva when she outgrew her crib. They both seemed happier with that arrangement, so they never got around to buying another bed,” Orli explained as she carefully walked through the debris. 
He stared at the metal frame in what was left of what he assumed had been Ziva’s room, trying to picture her curled up beside a sleeping Tali. 
“They were pretty close, huh?” 
Orli stopped walking and turned to look at him, “Ziva was everything to that little girl. And Tali was the same for her mother. They were best friends. Completely inseparable.” 
Tony nodded as he bent down to pick up an odd object that kept catching the light. He held it up. A picture frame. Not wood, but some sort of weird wire design. The glass was broken, and the picture inside was blackened with soot, but he swore he could make out the figure of a woman holding up a little girl in what looked like a princess dress. 
“She told me that Tali was her savior. After you left years ago, Ziva was… well, she wasn’t happy. She hardly spoke to anyone and was truly struggling to find her place here. But when she found out she was pregnant, I think it gave her something to live for. She immediately started making plans and buying supplies. She was determined to be a good mother. She was determined to give that little girl everything.” 
“Everything but her father,” he mumbled as he carefully slid the photo out from under the glass and stuffed it in his pocket. If this trip didn’t end the way he planned, he would ask Abby to try and fix the photo. There was a chance it was the only one of mother and daughter that would ever exist. 
Orli moved closer to him, being careful not to overstep her bounds. She knew Tony didn’t like her, but she also knew that it was her job to make him understand. 
“She regretted that, Tony. More than she would even admit out loud. I saw it in her eyes as Tali watched TV or played with her toys. When she looked at that girl, she saw you. And that was both her greatest gift and her most torturous possession. She wanted to tell you, but she knew you would be mad that she had waited so long.” 
“Well, she wasn’t wrong.” 
“Yes, I know. And she thought about it constantly. If she hadn’t been in such a dark place when she first found out she was pregnant, maybe she would have been willing to tell you then. But the fact was that she waited, and she wasn’t sure how to fix that. But she loves you, Tony.” 
It had taken him several hours to process her intentional choice of words. Loves. Not Loved. Just like he had told Gibbs that Ziva loves Paris. Maybe he and Orli would get along better than he thought. 
So the next day he booked two tickets flying into Charles de Gaulle and was on the way to a tiny hotel he remembered from their visit when he stopped by the infamous cafe where the two of them had eaten before catching their flight back to the states all those years ago. He and Tali sat on the sidewalk, splitting an order of Pain Aux Raisins and talking about their next steps (or more like him talking and her mumbling along as she pretended to understand his questions about strategy and coverage). 
“So, what do you think? Should we get some sleep and wake up in the morning ready to search? How about we split up? You head toward the Eiffel Tower, I’ll head toward the Arche and we meet at the Louvre?” 
Tali nodded excitedly as she reached for another pastry, and he laughed quietly to himself. He let himself wish, just for a second, that he had brought senior along with him. It would be nice to leave Tali with him and know that she was safe and taken care of so he could focus on the search. But, oh well. This was something the father-daughter duo would do alone. An important bonding experience. 
And a bonding experience it was. The two made funny faces and laughed together through the whole walk to the hotel. And maybe it was the laughter, or maybe it was the busy parisian streets, but either way he had been completely unaware of the slim figure following behind them at several paces. Unaware until he turned toward the large glass doors of the building and saw a familiar reflection behind him. 
“Ima?” Tali asked as she leaned forward in her seat and tried to see around the side of her stroller, unsure of whether or not she was seeing correctly. 
Ziva stepped around him without a word and offered the little girl what appeared to be a plushie of the Eiffel Tower before bending down to kiss her head, “Shalom, Motek.” 
Tali smiled and looked down at her new toy as Ziva stood up and turned toward him. 
“Hi,” she said simply. 
“Hey,” he replied dumbly. 
She nodded slightly, as if showing that she accepted his greeting before stepping around him again and motioning for a taxi. 
The three of them were silent as they were driven to her little two bedroom apartment farther up town, and she barely had to glance at the two to know that they were both exhausted from their flight and still very much functioning in a different time zone than their current one. She ushered them into the back bedroom and insisted they sleep it off. He noticed that the sheets smelled like her as he slid underneath them and pulled his daughter closer to his chest, and he’s pretty sure it was that comfort that had both of them slipping into a ridiculously sound sleep. 
And now, some 12 hours later, the three of them are all sitting in a bed together discussing lunch plans. It was all so domestic.
He watched Tali reach up and grab a fist full of her shirt, sensing that her mother was talking about leaving again, if only for a few minutes. He felt about the same way. 
“Nah. We can all go down together later.” 
She looked up at him confused, “You are not hungry?” 
He shrugged, “I am. But I’d rather we all go together.” 
Her eyes narrowed at him, but only for a moment. Then they turned shy - apologetic even. She couldn’t fault him for being cautious. She’d developed a reputation for running lately.
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kihyunswrath · 5 years
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about monsta x sasaengs
fellow monbebes i just read kimchitokki’s twitter and i’m fucking pissed and there’s just one thing I want to say about it and that’s the tl;dr: i know it upsets you but do not take her words seriously like for real
like. the chances of her having a normal job and then still finding out a PLENTY of private info about several groups at once, following them all around the world and literally breaking into their houses without ending up in jail? slim. sure she might follow the groups around, she might be wasting all her life and money on stalking them, like i don’t doubt it for a second that she pushes her miserable ass wherever she can get and that mx members would like to throw up at the sight of her, but that’s literally why she has turned to all of you guys to fund her lifestyle. that shit’s expensive.
she with 100% certainty pulls stuff out of her ass to make money and continue her abusive behavior. why else would she be so generous sharing them juicy bits about idols’ private “personalities”, their unhealthy habits, fights they’ve had and same-sex relationships, exes and idk, next she probably claims she knows what color their underwear is every given day? think about it. she writes about it in the most public platform possible, both in korean and english? if she has such an easy access to all that and is actually sharing their private info in exchange for profit, starship has been so careless about their privacy that she wouldn’t be the only one knowing about this stuff. meaning none of those things would be secrets at this point. we would all know. 
her lack of empathy, kindness, reason, intellect and sanity is one thing, but it’s another thing that people literally fund her because they think they truly need to find out if and who mx members are dating or if they... like, whatever, smoke?
like for real. most of her replies are so dumb, sweeping generalizations that i could also write similar replies. i have common sense, i have been a fan of mx for a long time and i have studied korean ent industry for years. but i’m not asking for money because i’m not a dipshit, so whatever, here’s my helpful replies to the most burning questions we all want to know! for free! so you don’t have to go ask her the same things and pay for lies!
1) are they in a relationship? of course they have or have had relationships, they are people. just most likely less often than people would like to believe, given their lack of time to do fucking anything but dance/practice/perform themselves to early grave. yes, with 99% certainty at least some of them are dating right as we speak. yes, most likely at least one of them is gay/bisexual/etc. because statistically speaking, that’s just plausible. none of us fans will ever end up with them, so we should be happy if they ever get to date anyone - that means they’ll be happier and receive extra energy and inspiration and will be taken care of. if you trust and love mx members, you can also trust the people they have chosen. and in the extremely unlikely case one of you would end up dating one of them: it still doesn’t matter what they are choosing to do with their lives right now. 
2) are they dating idols, fans, foreigners? lol who’d be able to provide for them the best? most likely people who they can... like. meet more often than once a year, who understand their daily struggles, who aren’t pisspoor - and given the idol industry standards they’ve gotten used to over the years, they most likely will also be attractive people around their age. so most likely not fans, nor foreigners. and most likely not that random idol you’re thinking of. 99% of the time it’s someone you’ve literally never heard of.  
3) do they smoke? do they use drugs? do they drink alcohol? probably, probably, yes. like for real, these people sleep 0-5 hours per night and are constantly expected to look, sound and seem absofuckinglutely stunning and spotless. it shouldn’t be humanly possible, and perhaps it isn’t. they’ll use shortcuts, whatever those might be, and consuming unhealthy stuff is like. one of those.
4) and the previous point includes plastic surgery and other body modifications/injections/meso threads/expensive treatments. mx has money, plastic surgeries are common practice, plastic surgeons are good at what they’re doing, and idols are literal representatives of that whole industry. plastic surgery wouldn’t be nearly as big of a business in korea without hallyu.
5) do they end up fighting sometimes? yes, just like everyone else. could their personal ways of handling arguments get in the way of fixing stuff? obviously. could it sometimes take time for them to recover from fights, breakups, disagreements, leading them to appear unhappy for a period of time? yes, that’s life. could one of the members be less familiar/close with someone else within the group? again, yes, that’s more likely than not. could one of them be somewhat distant with everyone within the group? let’s be real. they have other friends too, life outside of this job. they might grow distant at times and focus on themselves/their other friends more. or they might not want to hang out with each other very often outside of schedules. it also has absolutely nothing to do with us. it doesn’t benefit any of us to learn whether they have been fighting about something. as long as they don’t explicitly express their concerns, we can assume things are going just fine. they don’t need to be absolutely best best friends in order to still enjoy working together - and yet, them fighting and having disagreements is not a sign of them not being best best friends, so there’s that too.
6) could they be sick or having a dangerous diet? yes, probably one of them is sick right now, or recovering. being an idol is a very unhealthy job in itself, plus people do tend to get sick from time to time. we can offer them our constant support, care and love and ask them how they are doing, we can ask them to get more rest and keep eating well. but that’s all. they have their own support network who truly know what’s going on in their lives, and there’s nothing more we could do either way. and despite their unhealthy job, they are all young, physically active and have an access to good medical treatment, so the chances of them dying all of a sudden without us having the slightest clue is like. almost nonexistent. 
7) are they different behind cameras? well idk what do you think? do they pick their noses, examine the gunk they found and eat it afterwards when they’re alone? do they have farting competitions? do they scratch their balls and continue their day without washing their hands? do they have explosive diarrhea and pimples they pop in front of the mirror? do you think there would be a horrible stench coming out of their mouths in the morning? yes to all of those questions and all the others i didn’t list but we were all thinking of nonetheless. they are probably much less friendly, considerate, cheerful or tactful in real life. they might be, like, not even the smartest or nicest people you could imagine, because they’re human beings, and that’s ok. they’re already doing more than they ever needed to, and nothing so far has indicated that they are actually evil people in real life. 
8) are they going to enlist or disband soon?  monsta x is literally doing better than any other group starship ever had. they’re doing better than 90% of other kpop groups. starship staff would probably rather cut their own heads off rather than disband mx (before everything is sucked out of them). having said that, shownu has to enlist next year, and the 93-liners will join the year after, so obviously that means the remaining members will have to focus on solo stuff and such. but that most likely will be a breath of fresh air to them, since they no longer have to be so hyper-focused on those insanely tight world-tour schedules. maybe they’ll finally have more time to be creative, learn new skills and produce more carefully constructed stuff. so even though it’ll be sad for us fans, it also has good consequences.
and like i’ve said 1000 times before: be happy for whatever monsta x or any other kpop group decides to do, because they quite literally did not have to do it. they are full human beings who are doing this because they wanted to. because they decided to see the effort and work through all the hardships. they owe us nothing. they don’t have to do anything for us. their public presence is a bonus, a gift, an additional benefit, an extra perk we have a privilege to see and enjoy. we gave them their success, our money and our time, but that was our own decision. they can decide to quit and walk away whenever, no explanations needed. they can change the course of their careers and do things differently, and there’s nothing we can do about that. we can only be thankful for whatever content, whatever glimpses of their life we could see, and we have absolutely 0 right to ask for more. 
__________
so there. everyone buying information from kimchitokki or even considering doing that: please stop. even if she was right about everything, which she obviously isn’t, you’re supporting a psychopath who isn’t capable of loving anyone but herself. she doesn’t support monsta x - she’s the one causing them illnesses, depression and stress. she’s a fucking gross disease and needs to waltz straight into jail. 
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tiaragqueen · 5 years
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At The End Of Her Tether
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✂  Pairing: Yandere! Wu Yifan x Reader
✂  Word Count: 1,6k
✂ Trigger Warning: Isolation, possessive behavior, jealousy, slight angst, demeaning nicknames, yandere theme.
✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don't believe any of the members would do this in real life. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day! [Edited]
If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!
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"You're reaching out, and no one hears your cry. You're freaking out again, cause all your fears remind you. And all the dream has come undone." - Desperate [David Archuleta]
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               Two years.
            It’s been two fucking years since you left him. Him, the only one who loved you. Him, the only one who cared for you. Him, the only one who knew everything about you.
                 And him, who sacrificed everything just to be with you. For you.
            Kris was a man of few words. That, and his inability to fully express his feelings made him unreadable to others. For these very reasons, many people dubbed him as ‘boring’, ‘too quiet’, and to some extent ‘robot’. It hurt to hear those demeaning nicknames just because he possessed high self-control, especially the latter.
            Just because he rarely showed emotions didn’t mean he was a robot. He, like any other humans in the world, had feelings. He did feel angry, sad, content, excited, and sometimes a mixture of all those things. He did feel the emotional rollercoaster sometimes, and he did cry once in a while. It was a shame that very few people realized that, and went on with their shallow judgments. They spread lies to the others to make them believe he was a pathetic loser with no friends. That pathetic loner who had trust issues because he was too cynical.
            That pathetic loner with nobody to love, and to be loved.
            Kris used to pray for a miracle; for someone to notice how lonely and hurt he was. He’d prayed for someone to befriend him, to go through thick and thin with him, to be loyal to him despite his distant attitude. He didn’t really think about a lover that time, as he considered dating someone to be too much of a stretch.
            And God eventually granted his heartfelt wishes.
            It was one overcast day – snowdrops falling from the cloudy sky and the atmosphere was bleak overall – during his first encounter with you. You were working as a cashier in some convenience store when a tall man approached the counter. He was buying toiletries and groceries, but that wasn’t what caught your attention. It was the bags under his eyes; definitely bigger and darker than yours. From his appearance, you deduced that he couldn’t definitely be older than twenty. However, his exhausted face made him look like a thirty-or-something.
            “Hey, you’re okay?”
            Kris glanced up from the iron countertop, finding you staring at him with a concerned mien. Not wanting to waste his time chatting around with some random stranger – and a staff nonetheless – he silently nodded.
            “Oh, well,” you coughed into your palm, suddenly became conscious that you might have been a bit rude towards him. “It's just... you look very tired.”
            “I didn’t have much sleep last night.” he murmured, voice so soft you almost misheard it.
            You frowned. “Well, that’s not good at all. You look younger than me, and yet your face seems like an old man. A jaded old man.”
            Curiosity peaked, Kris asked. “How old are you?”
            “Twenty-five.” You bit your bottom lip at the sudden realization. “Oh, man. I just realized how old I am. This is why I avoid talking about age.”
            Kris smiled. It was small – you weren’t sure if you saw it had his eyes didn’t soften a little – but it made your heart flutter nonetheless. You always loved bringing a smile on to other people’s faces, no matter how minuscule it might be.
            “You know, your smile is very beautiful.”
            Caught off guard, Kris snapped his head towards you at a surprising speed. You smiled and maintained steady eye contact, showing him your sincerity. Blood slowly rushed into his cheeks as he bowed in bashfulness.
            “Thank you...”
            Ever since that day, Kris made an effort to shop in that store more often and talked with you. You also began to exchange your number, leading to deep conversations in the middle of the night. The night where his depression hit him. The night where he couldn’t sleep because he was too busy thinking about you.
            What were you doing?
            Have you eaten yet?
            Did you get enough sleep?
            Whenever you were absent or on a vacation, he felt a slight pang in his chest. Kris used to think that it was odd to get attached to a new friend, but after meeting you, he started to consider that maybe – just maybe – you weren’t so bad at all. You were easy-going, understanding, and sympathetic. You never seemed irritated whenever he texted you on ungodly hours or calling you because he was struck with a longing to hear your voice.
            That soothing voice that always eased his tensed nerves. That giddy voice when you told him something interesting that happened today. That melodic laugh that echoed in his mind when he made a joke.
            Kris never perceived himself as funny, but after listening to you laughed to a corny pun that he made on the spot, he endeavored to be as funny as possible. He wanted to be the reason for your smile, of your laughter, the same way you made him smile that time.
            That wish to bring happiness to you eventually blossomed into romantic feelings. He couldn’t help it; you were too precious for him. You had proven yourself as a worthy and loyal friend, and Kris desired a deeper relationship with you. He didn’t want to lose you to anyone else.
            Which led him to confess to you.
            It took a long time for you to accept his confession. Not because you didn’t like him – you did, yet the sentiment was nothing compared to his – but because you wanted to make sure he wouldn’t cheat on you. That this relationship wouldn’t be a waste of time. You were aware that it was impossible to control people’s feelings, because who knows what would happen a month or a year later? Then again, the chance of him being disloyal to you was slim. But you wanted to ensure things wouldn’t change in the near future.
            And Kris held on to his vow. The vow to be a good boyfriend and a best friend, because being in a relationship with you didn’t mean he would stop befriending you. He knew that those two could be very different things depending on the problems that arise.
            It was truly a delight to date him. He was a hundred times more caring, kinder, and attentive than he already was. It was like he had developed a sixth sense to detect your wants and negativity that came from day-to-day troubles. You appreciated his efforts to always put your needs above his, even though you had repeatedly told him to think about himself too.
            Everything was sunshine and rainbow. You grew to love him even more; his little quirks, attitude, looks, and everything he had offered. However, you had underestimated how jealous he could be given the circumstances. It didn’t matter if you were merely glancing at a random person, he would still take it to the heart.
            “Kris, let me out, please! I’ll do anything just please... please don’t lock me in here. Please!”
                 Your scream and sobs echoed in the otherwise quiet house. Kris leaned against the wall beside the door that led to a room; devoid of any furniture except a single tray that contained your dinner. He didn’t know if you had eaten it yet, seeing as you had passed out from fatigue during the daytime earlier. It was a waste of food, but he was fully aware that all you needed was freedom. A breath of fresh air. Not a small room with the dizzying smell of paint wafting around.
            “I'm begging you, Kris, let me out! I’ll promise I won’t talk to him again! I’ll do anything, just please let me out!”
            Kris squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the tears from leaking as he listened to you coughing and whimpering inside. He didn’t want to do this – heck, he was willing to gloss over it – had you didn’t choose to escape.
            Then again, if anyone – any sane person – were to look at it through another point of view, it would be understandable if you made such a rash decision. Kris could be cruel if he wanted to, and although his punishment was normally sexual, you refused to lay on the bed crying your heart out. It was enough that you had more than enough time stewing over what had been, over what you had missed.
            Just for once, you wanted to be able to independent. You wanted to be free from his suffocating clutch. You wanted a taste of freedom; something that you used to take for granted.
            But that choice only turned to bite you back in the end.
            The door creaked after you had collapsed from hours of wailing and sobbing. Even though you saw Kris slinking inside, even though you were begging for him less than five minutes ago, you had never been happier at the sight of the light that poured inside the room. It gave you hope that you were still alive – that you didn’t need to be trapped in this hellhole again.
            And perhaps, you could regain that freedom you had so carelessly let go in a moment of complacency. No matter how farfetched it might sound. No matter how laughable the mere notion of you escaping his tight hug.
            “You promise to be a good girl, right?” he whispered in your ear as he caressed the hair that clung on to your sweaty forehead. “You promise to never leave me again, right? I’d hate to do this for the second time if I see you repeat your mistake.”
            Or maybe not.
            Sighing, you closed your eyes and buried your tear-stained face against his chest. You were tired. So, so tired it felt like your soul had left your body.
            It would be good if that was true. If that could be reality. At least, you never had to deal with him again.
            “Yes...”
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Prompt 14. My fingers are numb.
I... Don't know what happened here but i aimed for fluff and ended up with hypothermia, jealousy and a discussion of polyamory?
"My fingers are numb." Irene mumbled, blinking eyes that suddenly felt like led. Vale turned to her, worry clear in his eyes as she nearly lost her balance. "I don't feel well." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gently put his fingers against her cheek, she flinched away, he was too warm, the contact felt like burning.
"We need to get you home." He said. "Before hypothermia can set in. Do you think you can walk?"
"Maybe?" He mouth felt wrong. "Can I lean on you?" He grabbed one of her arms and slung it over his shoulders whilst tightening his grip on her. "OK. Let's go." Irene could walk, but only just, it was more of a stagger and he had to take most of her weight to stop her going face first into the snow.
It had been fine to begin with, she was helping him poke around a warehouse reported to house a crime syndicate. But whoever had provided the information had been wrong and it had been long since abandoned and was in such a state of disrepair that even squatters wouldn't touch it.
Irene had decided to test the rotton steps up to the second floor, she was smaller than Vale anyway, lighter. She had managed to make it all of the way to the top before something crunched and she felt her foot give way. She'd thrown herself up to the second floor just in time to save herself. And trip up and fall.
She'd taken her gloves off whilst examining something and hadn't thought to put them back on, she couldn't feel through the thick leather so, after checking with Vale (no finger printing wasn't a common practise, but now he wanted to know how it worked) she had removed them.
She'd fallen into snow. Then roof had caved in at some point and it was thick and undisturbed. Her hands had gone straight into it as she tried to catch herself and she had lay there in mute shock for a minute or so, maybe more, she wasn't entirely sure, before Vale called out her name. She'd got up with chattering teeth and told him that there was just snow up there, and to not use the stairs.
Vale managed to flag down a cab, in which he helped Irene out of her wet coat, it was beginning to soak through to her dress, and wrapped his around her shoulders, before giving her his scarf and gloves, though the gloves were a little big on her and he idly wondered if she'd ever played the piano for she had the long, slim fingers that were perfect for the instrument, or perhaps the violin, she'd certainly expressed a certain delight when she'd come over and seen him practicing in the study, her eyes had lit up in a way he thought was reserved for Kai and Detective novels.
Her hands were cold as ice and she was shivering despite what he had done. Her breathing was coming out a little raspy and her skin had a greyish colour to it that was filling him with a nauseating sense of fear.
Irene was sick.
She was really sick and it was all of his fault and if this bloody cabbie didn't hurry up, he rapped on the window and ordered him to go faster, than she was going to pass out and would be incredibly difficult to wake up, if he managed to wake her again.
The cab drew level with Irene and Kai's lodgings, and the embassy, and Irene managed to stagger down to the pavement. He grabbed her wet coat, paid the cab and grabbed her again, it said something about her that she'd nearly managed to make it to the door, stubbornness mainly. He had a key and let them in.
"Strongrock?" He hung Irene's coat up to dry and began to help her up the stairs. He heard Kai moving around upstairs. "I need your help. Now." He appeared in the hallway, took in Irene's sorry state and immediately swept her up into his arms and carried her to their bedroom.
"What happened?" Kai demanded as he removed the outerwear and set it to one side.
"She fell into a lot of snow." Vale said. "She must have not put her gloves back on, she was soaked through, I did what I could in the cab but there wasn't much." Kai nodded. Irene's dress was damp and though he knew she'd protest and be very annoyed later on, he made quick work of the buttons as at the front of her dress. She was wearing quite a thick chemise underneath, which was thankfully still dry, so he wouldn't have to strip her down to her underwear.
"Can you hold her up so I can get this off?" Vale sat on the edge of the bed and held onto the barely conscious Irene as Kai pulled her skirt down her legs, and then her boots and silk stockings. "Okay, that should help. Let's get her wrapped up and hopefully, no damage will be done." Her eyes were fluttering as Irene struggled to stay conscious. Vale fetched more blankets from the airing cupboard whilst Kai helped Irene get comfortable in the bed, covered tightly wrapped around her. They added the blankets and Kai lightly brushed his fingers over her forehead.
"You can sleep now." He murmured, before leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I'll wake you in a little while with a cup of tea." She made a soft noise of agreement and Kai flicked the light off.
"I'm so sorry that I let this happen." Vale said in a grave voice as Kai shut the bedroom door behind him. He didn't like being around Kai and Irene when they were so... He wasn't sure of the word. But either way, it felt like he was prying into their relationship. Not to mention the jealousy, but he had to keep reminding himself that he chose to reject Irene and he could only blame himself for his lonlieness, and of course she had moved onto someone much better. It was what she deserved.
Kai just waved his hand. "I know you wouldn't ever deliberately put her in harms way." He said. "You clearly care about her far too much for that." Vale swallowed. "Thank you for making sure that she made it back. She'll be fine once she's warmed up again, maybe a little under the weather for a few days. But she'll be fine." Kai kept telling himself that, he knew, medically speaking, that she would be fine, but he did have a tendency to worry. "I think you could probably do with something hot to drink as well." He swept his eyes over Vale. "You're probably cold too."
"I didn't really notice." Vale shrugged and Kai tsked in a way that he'd most definitely picked up from Irene.
"Tea or coffee?"
"Tea, please." Vale said, he was suddenly tired but he knew it was because of the stress of making sure that Irene was going to be okay, and not the cold. He sat down in his usual armchair. There were photos about the mantlepiece. Kai had found an old camera in the attic of the new house, abandoned, and he'd got it repaired and working. Naturally Irene had been his first subject, there were a few of her, awkwardly smiling unsure of what to do. One was of her asleep on the sofa, she'd been mad when he put it up but didn't try to take it down. Then he'd pestered Vale as well, before finally working out how to delay the taking of the picture, so he could be in them as well, and there were pictures of all three of them, Kai with his arm around Irene's shoulders and she was smiling at him whilst Vale wished that he wasn't there. That one was newly developed, it hadn't been there two days ago.
"It came out pretty well." Kai said, following his eye line as he he handed over a steaming cup of tea. "Would it hurt you to smile though?"
"Probably." Vale said dryly. "Thank you." Kai sighed before throwing himself into his usual seat.
"I need to talk to you about something." Kai said after a long moment.
"What's the matter?" Vale set his tea cup down and laced his fingers together.
"I know about your feelings for Irene." He felt ice solidify in his stomach, he thought that he had hidden that well. That no one else could possibly have known, except for maybe Irene.
"I don't." Vale said after a long pause. He forced a chuckle. "Really Strongrock, I didn't take you for the jealous kind."
"I'm not." Kai shrugged and took a sip of his tea, not caring about the fact that it was still hot enough to burn his lips, he quite liked it in fact. "It's obvious. If I've noticed, Irene probably has too. I can't work out who it's worse to hear say it, me, or her, but I decided to."
"I don't." Vale said, shaking his head.
"I'm not angry." Kai said. "I don't even mind that much if you do have feelings for her. She's… amazing, why wouldn't you?" Vale very much wanted to run out into the snow in order to avoid the rest of this conversation. And hey, if he was killed by pneumonia, he'd never had to hear the second half of it. "I don't want this to get in the way of our friendship." Kai said.
"It won't." Vale said quietly. "And I have no intention of ever telling her how I feel toward her. I don't want to get in the way of what you two have, she's far happier with you than she'd ever be with me."
"I didn't mean it like that." Kai said, shaking his head. "Our friendship, not yours and Irene's. If you want to… Court her, I say go for it, just don't sneak around behind my back. And don't wallow in jealousy, it's no good for anyone."
"Pardon?"
"Irene and I have talked about it before. She said she'd never approach you, but consider it if you ever approached her. Just something for you to think about."
"Yeah… Hang on, I am a little lost."
"Im trying to set you up with my romantic partner." Kai said. "Come on, keep up."
"But why?"
"Because monogamy is all well and good but not for everyone. And I do not mind sharing." He checked his watch. "I'm going to make Irene some tea and wake her up, think about it. And speak to her when she feels better, or you'll miss your chance."
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chuffyfan87 · 5 years
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Hiding. Part 2a
The next installment of my AU collab fic with @disastrousintention
-x-
Charlie had been somewhat distracted at work following Duffy’s revelation that she was pregnant. They’d agreed to go for dinner but it meant lying to Baz and informing her that he was working late. Duffy felt bad lying to her mum but she'd had no other choice. Andrew was away at a "conference". Luckily her mum had quickly agreed to have the boys overnight.
Charlie had booked a table at a restaurant, not far away. It was far away enough for them to be together without it asking too many questions, if they were caught by colleagues. Duffy stood waiting just inside the door, her eyes constantly flickering around the room, terrified she would spot someone she knew. The fingers of one hand fiddled with the hem of her blouse whilst the other hand twisted at the chain Charlie had given her earlier that afternoon.
He arrived about ten minutes after her. His eyes flicking over the room, hoping to find her. He eventually found her near the bar. He smiled as he approached her.
"Hi." She whispered shyly.
“Hi.” He kissed her cheek, “You look gorgeous by the way.”
She blushed. "Um... Would you like a drink?"
“The usual, please.”
Duffy gained the barman's attention and placed their order, pausing slightly as she stumbled over her own drink choice. Charlie moved closer to her and touched her hip.
She stepped back slightly. "What if someone sees us?" She hissed in panic.
“There’s a slim chance of us getting caught here.” He replied.
She laughed sardonically. "I don't know why I'm worrying. It's not like the truth won't be out soon enough anyway." She remarked, her hand absentmindedly touching her stomach.
He watched Duffy for a moment just as the bartender placed two glasses down in front of them.
Snapping out of her thoughts Duffy reached out for her drink. She sipped it as she once again found herself glancing around the room.
He paid for the drinks and took his glass. As he sipped the whiskey, Charlie found himself watching Duffy again, discreetly checking her out.
Duffy's spare hand once again began to fiddle with her clothes. She wasn't sure why but she felt incredibly awkward and self conscious this evening. It wasn't like they hadn't been out for dinner together in the past. But tonight was different.
“I wish you’d relax. You look gorgeous as always.”
"So where's our table?" She asked, brushing off the compliment. She didn't feel deserving of his words.
Charlie kissed her cheek and disappeared, trying to find a waiter. A few minutes later, they were seated at their table.
Duffy picked up the menu and scanned it briefly. She wasn't particularly hungry. Picking up his menu Charlie glanced across the table at her now and again as he read it.
She placed the menu down on the table. Noticing his look out the corner of her eye she sighed and picked it back up again pretending to take an interest in its contents.
“You’re not hungry?” He guessed, not looking up from the menu.
"Not particularly. We came here to talk." She pointed out.
“We can always do a bunk and take a walk along the river?” He suggested.
"If you're sure? Aren't you hungry either?"
“When aren’t I hungry?” He asked with a chuckle. “It’s fine. I do think we need to talk though.”
"I don't mind sitting while you eat." She shrugged.
“It’s fine. I’ll grab a bag of chips or something.” He smiled.
"OK, if you're sure. I wouldn't want your stomach to think your throat's been cut!" She giggled, pleased of the distraction away from the dilemma hanging over them.
He laughed gently. “Shall we?”
"Lead the way."
He stood up and offered Duffy his hand. Her face still betrayed her anxiety but she gently placed her hand in his. He squeezed it, before they left the restaurant and went for a walk.
As they approached the river Duffy began to relax more, happier that it was now just the two of them. She stayed silent, however, reticent to break the comfortable atmosphere that had settled on them.
Charlie smiled as he stroked his thumb over the back of her hand, noticing she’d become more relaxed.
Duffy suddenly stopped and turned to lean against the railing, looking out across the water. She wasn't sure what had led her to stop there, it was just an urge she'd felt.
“Are you okay?” He asked, his hand on her lower back.
"Mm hmm." She paused. "A little tired." She admitted quietly.
He rubbed her lower back, “Have you been sleeping ok?”
"Not really. I've got a lot on my mind." She retorted pointedly.
He nodded, “Would it help to share some of the things on your mind?”
"Hmm... I'm nearing 40, have two sons with my husband who is cheating on me with someone 15 years younger and as if all that wasn't enough I'm pregnant with my best friend's baby." She responded, a slightly sarcastic tone to her voice.
He didn’t say anything as he listened to her. “It’s all a bit complicated and messy, isn’t it?”
"A bit?!!"
“A gigantic mess.” He admitted.
"So now we've acknowledged the catastrophe mess we've made of our lives... What next?" She pressed.
Charlie shrugged, “Go with the flow I suppose?”
"Please tell me you're not suggesting we just carry on as before and hope no-one notices?"
He shrugged and replied, “It’s an idea.” He mumbled.
"That might work for a few more weeks at most. Depending on how much of a blind eye those around us chose to take."
“I’ll come clean to Baz.” He suggested.
"What about Louis?"
“I’ll lose him but...” He swallowed hard, “We knew that was always a possibility.”
"I can't let you do that. He's so young, he needs his father."
Charlie shrugged, “I made my choice.”
"If you stayed with Baz I wouldn't stop you seeing the baby. That would be the best of both worlds surely?"
He shrugged, “Who says I want to stay with Baz?”
"Not even for Louis' sake?"
He sighed. Charlie’s marriage with Baz was loveless, the only reason he stayed was because of Louis. But he was unhappy, he had been for several months now. “I don’t know, I don’t love her. I don’t think I ever did.”
"Why did you marry her then?" She paused. "You don't have to answer that. I think I know the answer already." She sighed. They'd both married for the sake of their children. Was walking away from those marriages because of this child just another way of making the same mistake?
“Because I thought I was doing the right thing. For Louis to have a father. To have two parents instead of one.” He rubbed the back of his neck.
"You got married for all the wrong reasons." She told him, echoing her words from his wedding reception about her own marriage.
“Yeah I did.”
"And you're sure you're not leaving for the wrong reasons too?"
“What wrong reasons would they be?”
"The baby."
He paused, collecting this thoughts. “Do you think I’m doing this /just/ because of the baby?”
"No." She sighed. "I just need you to realise what you planning to throw away."
“I already know what I’m throwing away. I’ve thought about it for a long time.”
"Where you planning to share those thoughts with me at any point?"
He nodded, “Yes but I wasn’t sure when.”
"And now seemed like a good time?"
“You’ve just told me you’re pregnant. I guess I have to share my thoughts, don’t I?”
"Oh so this is my fault is it?" She retorted, an edge creeping into her voice.
“I’m not saying that.” He sighed sadly, “I’m just saying, I can’t pretend none of this is happening."
"You can. All you have to do is turn around right now and walk away."
“If I don’t want to walk away?” He caught her gaze, the first time he’d properly looked at her since they’d stopped at the river.
"You're an honourable, if very stupid, man."
“A man who’s in love.” He replied.
"Like I said, honourable but stupid." She laughed but it sounded hollow. "There's worse things to be I suppose."
He gently reached out and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I love you.”
"We all have our weaknesses."
“I want, whatever this is between us, to work. Even if the whole world is against us.”
"It certainly feels like the fates are against us. Like this is all a big joke to them."
“We can make it work.” He seemed confident, perhaps too confident.
"You seem mighty certain about that." She accused.
“Love can conquer anything.”
She shot him a look. "Only in really bad Hollywood movies."
“You’re very pessimistic.”
"Being optimistic made me think I could have it all. Look where that got me."
“But you can still have it all.”
"I swear if you're about to ask me to marry you I will leave right now..!"
He flashed her a cheeky grin.
She couldn't help but smile back at him, he knew she was a sucker for his cocky charm. "You're such an idiot!"
“But you like it when I’m an idiot.” He pouted.
"Hmm..." She forced herself to look away before she found herself getting too lost in those bright blue eyes of his. That's how they'd ended up in this mess in the first place!
As soon as she broke away from the gaze, Charlie knew it was because she was getting lost. He stepped towards her, closing the gap. “Duffy?”
She stared down at the water, her reflection just visible in the fading light of the evening.
“You’re so beautiful.” He said quietly.
She couldn't help brushing away his compliment. "You won't be saying that in a few months time."
“Won’t I?” He replied, “Can I confess something?”
She finally turned to look at him once more, her eyebrow raised, unsure of what he was about to say. "Go on..." She encouraged.
He bit his lip, silent for a moment or two. “I find you even more attractive when you’re pregnant.” He admitted, “There's something about being pregnant that suits you. Makes you glow.”
"That'd be the 3 inches of make up I have to put on to look vaguely human before heading to work!" She snorted.
“Makeup or no makeup. You’re still gorgeous.” He pointed out.
She made a disbelieving sound and then sighed. "Compliments and charm are all well and good but I think we're past that point." She turned around and lent back against the railing, her fingers fidgeting in front of her. "We need to figure out what we're going to do." She paused, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip. "Do you really think this will work? Once it's all out in the open?"
He moved and stood beside her. He listened to her and nodded, “It’s not going to be easy but yes, I think we can make it work.” He reached for her hand. “Don’t you?”
"I want it to. I've just never been very good at making things last." She sighed regretfully.
“Neither am I but I think we can work on that together.” He linked his fingers through hers.
"We're quite the pair aren't we?"
He nodded in agreement.
Shifting slightly Duffy laid her head on Charlie's shoulder.
Charlie allowed Duffy to rest her head on his shoulder, a comfortable silence between them.
The silence was eventually broken by the sound of Duffy's stomach rumbling. It wasn't just dinner that she hadn't eaten.
Hearing the rumble of her stomach, Charlie sighed sadly. “Have you been skipping meals?”
"I felt too sick to eat earlier." She lied.
“You’re a rubbish liar.” He tried to catch her gaze once more. “How long have you been skipping meals for?”
She looked down at her feet. He was going to be cross if she told the truth. She knew it was stupid, she had been a nurse for far too long not to, but the paranoia of others realising her condition had seeped into her mind.
He was concerned. He turned his body fully to her, “Tell me. Please?”
"I haven't been skipping meals so much as, well, cutting back a bit. That's all."
“Because you’ve been worried about gaining weight?” He surmised.
"You know how nosy everyone can be. It wouldn't take long for the rumours to spread."
He sighed, “I understand that. Please though, will you eat? Because I don’t want you to collapse.” He paused for a second, “Can't have you falling at my feet again.” He joked.
She rolled her eyes, shaking her head at his poor attempt at humour. "OK." She agreed.
“You need the energy, especially if we’re going to take this baby full term.”
"Are you going to nag me like this the whole time?"
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wehumzen-blog · 5 years
Text
Bedtime Routines and Sleep Rituals for Restful Sleep
Article written by By Brandon Peters, MD, verywell health.
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The process of going to sleep is highly dependent upon behaviors, and disruptions in your bedtime routine may lead to difficulty falling asleep (insomnia). Children and adults alike need to mentally prepare to go to sleep with ritualized behaviors. By engaging in specific activities, we can better make this transition and improve our rest. Discover some of the best sleep rituals and bedtime routines that will help you to sleep, including reading, listening to music, or taking a bath.
Sleep Is a Behavior
Sleep is certainly a physiological process—a chance for rest that conserves energy and an opportunity to process memories and improve learning—but it is also a behavior. In a very real sense, our bodies can ​learn to sleep well, and we can also learn to sleep poorly. Our body follows a natural circadian rhythm, and by keeping a consistent sleep schedule, we can reinforce this. As part of better sleep guidelines, we can make other choices—including establishing a bedtime routine—that likewise improve our sleep patterns.
How We Benefit From Bedtime Routines
Just like we encourage for children, adults need daily sleep rituals prior to going to bed to allow us to unwind and mentally prepare for going to sleep. Imagine taking your 5-year-old child to an amusement park, indulging his every sugary wish, and then rushing him home and putting him to bed hours before his normal bedtime. The chance of him going to sleep is slim. Similarly, we cannot rush through our day, making choices that ruin our sleep, and expect sleep to easily come when we desire it.
Sleep is a quiet, relaxing activity, so it doesn't make much sense to try to transition to that directly from something that is quite the opposite. Our bodies don't do well with abrupt changes. Quiet sleep rituals help ease this transition, preparing us mentally and physically for sleep.
Recommended Sleep Rituals
Sleep rituals should include quiet activities in the brief period before bedtime. How much time you spend unwinding may vary. If you fall asleep immediately on most nights, you may not need much time to transition. However, if you suffer from insomnia or have trouble with your mind racing as you try to fall asleep, a longer period of sleep rituals may be helpful. In general, 30 to 60 minutes will likely be sufficient.
What sleep rituals should be part of your bedtime routine? These will vary and depend largely on personal preference, including a consideration of what you find relaxing. If you struggle to read, then plopping down with a book is ill-advised as it will prompt frustration and not aid sleep. Think of things that individually make you feel sleepy, as that is just the feeling you are after.
These activities may include:
Reading
Listening to relaxing music
Stretching
Taking a bath
Praying or meditation
Overly stimulating activities, such as aerobic exercise, doing work, using a computer, playing video games, or watching stimulating television may disrupt your sleep. Light at night may be a problem. Perhaps some of these activities can be incorporated into your bedtime routine if they are not disruptive to your sleep, but if you have trouble falling asleep, then they may be targeted as potential culprits.
By taking some time each night to wind down, you will ensure a successful transition to sleep. And if you can sleep soundly after a nice bedtime story, there's no happier ending than that.
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transboygenius · 6 years
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SE4SON: Chapter 8
[*The next day*]
Jimmy and Nick traveled down the path, dragging a heavy wheelbarrow behind them. Diana just led the way on her horse, telling stories the boys had no interest in listening to. They chose to ignore her as they talked among themselves. Ever since last night, the two have been getting along quite good. They shared their own stories, gave out their personal interests, and even exchanged embarrassing secrets. Nick told his first, just to make Jimmy feel less uneasy. To the boy genius's knowledge, they had a lot in common. He doesn't remember the last time he's had a fun chat with anyone. Usually, when he opens his mouth, out only came scientific factoids. However, what really puzzled Jimmy is that Nick never gave him word about his father. Nick just about told as much as he could tell, without going deeper. Him being gay, him having a crush on the boy genius, and the horrible trauma his father put him through.
"So... What was your dad like, Nick?" "As I told everyone, I don't even know the old man. I was very, very young when he was with us, so my memory isn't exactly stable." "Well, do you ever wonder what he's like?" "(Wonder? I know for a fact that he's a black hearted tyrant that deserves to choke and die) I know where my good looks came from, that's for sure. But, this is just a guess, he was probably a little bit hardheaded. Don't know any more about him, or heck, his full name as well." "Have you ever asked your mom? She likely holds more trivia on him. I mean, she was the one who married him." "Tried. She just doesn't like to talk about it. Don't know why. Look, Jimmy, do you mind if we change the subject? I feel like we're not getting anywhere in this conversation, about a person I never knew in my life. I just don't know him, that's all, end of story."
Nick didn't want Jimmy to know about his relationship with his father. If he told him, Jimmy might think he made up this sob story just for attention, or to gain his pity. Jimmy can be a very dubious boy. Plus, Nick's too embarrassed to express his life further on. He rather not have Jimmy involved into any of his family business. Nick lied that he didn't know his father's name, because the boy genius is sure to track down that man, and try to help Nick by reuniting him with his long, lost dad. Daniel has already made Nick's early childhood very unbearable for him, so the last thing he'd ask for is seeing his old man's mug re-enter his life. Nick's answer colored Jimmy curious. He said he was too young to remember anything about his dad. The boy genius presumed he was probably an infant by then. Why doesn't Nick know his own biological father's name? Why does his mom take it so personal? As much as Jimmy probes for a good explanation, he should know better not to meddle into someone else's family business. Mrs. Dean probably has a reason for withdrawing information from Nick.
Before long, the four of them (counting the horse) reached a huge wall, where the king's border shielded. The only way to get in is through the main gates, supervised by the royal guards. Since Diana left the border illegally, or doesn't carry any documents issued by the king himself, there's no way for them to pass. However, Diana made her own solution. Getting off of her horse, and dragging them alongside, she led the handcuffed boys to some piled up shrubs. Behind the shrubs hid an underground passageway dug under the border's wall. Diana placed the three sacks of loot onto the horse's back, while Jimmy and Nick had to pull an empty wheelbarrow, which is now refreshingly light. The inside was very dark, so Diana lit a lantern on the way. While the gang walked forward, Jimmy was a little anxious of what or who he might meet next, while Nick was looking forward to a much long break.
When they made it to the other side of the wall, they met with some dirt steps, and a trapdoor which brings about to who knows where. Diana gave it three knocks, and a high-pitched, nasally voice answered.
"Password!" "We don't even have a password." "Correct; You may enter!"
As the door opened, Diana and her horse walked up in, now in the kitchen of their homely hut.
"Diana! Butterscotch! You're back!"
Diana wasn't alone. Besides her horse, she was in the company of three people. Jimmy and Nick didn't expect it when they entered the room.
"And you smuggled some immigrants! Yay!"
Speaking of three people; One was a scrawny, short (but still taller than Nick), fifteen year-old girl with a visible overbite. Her hair was styled in pigtail buns, which resembled rat ears. Just looking at her, she kinda does look like a human rat. The voice, that answered to Diana earlier, belonged to her, and she seems to be very energetic.
"Oh my! Nice to meet you! Ya know, if I knew we'd be having guests, I would've had baked a pie!"
The other one appeared to be a slim man in his 30s, with a goatee beard. He was wearing a frilly apron, with a feather duster in his hand. Not much could be said about him, except he may be the only male in this house.
"What an unexpected visit! Did Diana happen to invite you young boys?"
The last one was a fat lady, who looked nice, but didn't seem to be too happy over Jimmy and Nick's arrival.
"...or did you just followed her here?"
The boys just got here, and already they made a bad impression to one of their new roommates. The human rat scurried over to them and sniffed at them.
"Thee two are very odd looking gents. Me like them already! They just like us!"
The human rat seems to take a liking to them. The boys decided to play it polite by introducing themselves.
"Salutations! I'm Jimmy!" "And I'm Nick!" "Oh! So we're introducing ourselves now? Okay! Sounds good to me! *Ahem* It's a pleasure to meet you, Jimmy and Nick! Me Oona! But to be honest, me hate that name! Me'd be much more happier if you called me Rodent Girl, thank you! By full name, that is." Greeted the human rat. "I am sir Benson! I'm in charge of all the manly work around here! Such as the cooking, the cleaning, and planting these pretty little pink posies in the garden!" Greeted the man. "And I'm Mitzi." Greeted the fat lady, in a stoic manner.
Mitzi caught her eyes on the chain between Jimmy and Nick.
"Pardon me, but may I draw the question as to wherefore thee boys are chained together? Did Diana happened to find you in some sort of a cellar or asylum?" "No, she rescued us from being burned at the stake." Nick replied, but that didn't make Mitzi look at them any differently.
"Mitzi, be not malapert to our new guests!" Said Diana. "These young gentlemen, thou are not gonna believe this, came from the future; the twenty first century! Isn't yond most wondrous? Oh, and as for the bilboes, this was just a did fail charm dissemble performance by some naive friend back home!"
All of them were amazed, but minus Mitzi.
"Is it true in the future they build carriages that no longer need to be run by horse power?" Asked Rodent Girl. "Yeah. They're called cars." Jimmy responded. "Cleaning machines that help pick up all the dirt and dust so sweeping isn't a hassle?" Asked Benson. "I believe you're referring to vacuums." "Metal people built by man that conflict havoc on humanity?" Asked Mitzi. "I think Jimmy invented that once." Nick joked, which earned himself a smack on the arm by the boy genius himself.
The boys then remembered the handcuffs.
"By the way, do you have anything we could use to unlink this chain?" Asked Jimmy. "Why don't you just ask Diana? Breaking that will be just cake for her!" Rodent Girl suggested. "We did. But then she told us the short story about some guy's arm she accidentally popped off."
Benson and Diana shared a small convo within themselves.
"Did you tell the lads that the man's arm was merely just a wooden prosthetic?" "No. I felt that would make me sound less hardcore."
Diana suddenly had an idea.
"I'll tell you what. My associate, Mitzi here, has studied and practiced the art of locksmithing! She could perhaps make a duplicate key to undo those shackles!" "Do I have to?" "Yes you will! These are our guests here!"
Having no choice but to approve of Diana's request, or demand, she told the two young boys to follow her. Luckily, Diana stayed behind them. They were too scared to be alone with that woman. She seems to look at them as if they were criminals. She wouldn't be, by any chance, working with the green hoods of Derryberry Everlanes? Maybe she'll have a change of heart once she gets to know them. That way, they wouldn't have to worry about her poisoning their milk.
............................
[*40 hours earlier, in another time*]
Sheen should've had warned Judy about Jimmy's new security system. However, she easily creamed it by reflecting the lasers into the cannons by using the mirror from her facial cream concealer, then she took on the guard bots in a little taekwondo, thanks to the lessons she took to not only protect herself but her family as well. After cleaning the security system's clock, she investigated the lab from top to bottom. And if she can't find him, she might as well pick up some clues that will maybe spell out her son's disappearance. She covered every area in the lab, knocked over some heavy machinery, and she even hollered for Jimmy's name at the top of her lungs. Despite making no progress, she continued searching. She hasn't seen her son in two days and she wasn't gonna stop until she finds him.
Poor Judy has lost her mind. She hasn't ate or slept. All she had on her mind was Jimmy getting hurt. This boy was her only child, and she won't rest on her little baby. So far, she's only covered the lab. Sheen did say this was the last place he remembered Jimmy went to. Since then, that was the only place she's checked, and right now, the lab looks like a tornado just hit it. Her husband tried to talk her out of it, but she's so Jimmy-crazed, she refuses to listen to anyone.
..........................
[*Five hours later*]
Carl Wheezer was putting on another magic show on his front lawn. Sheen, his assistant, was wearing a ridiculous feminine looking outfit Carl made for him. He has more audiences than he had last time, probably because he's starting to improve. ...or because they had nothing better to do, and the show was free, after all. There was only one adult in the audience. The only one who appeared to be enjoying the show was Bolbi. He's the one to clap when nobody else will. (And for some reason, one of the spectators was a measly Twonkie.) Today's performance, he borrowed a five dollar bill from a volunteer, cut it into tiny pieces using his scissors, then blanketed a cloth over it. After chanting his own original magic words, he pulled the dollar bill out, which was back in one piece again.
"THIS IS NOT MY DOLLAR, WHEEZER! THIS IS A COUPON FOR A FREE WHOLE FISHCAKE AT THE RAMEN BOWL!" "What?! A-heh, I'm sorry, Benny! I am TRULY sorry! I may be having some technical difficulties occurring at this moment! If you excuse me, I'd like to have a private heart to heart with my assistant here!"
Carl then grabbed Sheen by his bowtie.
"Sheen. You were suppose to put a five dollar bill under there." "I know. But when I looked into my wallet, all I had was three dollars, 76 cents, and that coupon, which to me, is worth as much as five dollars." "Why?" "You kidding me? You get to portion your own fish cake slices."
Benny was glaring at them, while angrily tapping his foot on the pavement. Carl and Sheen combined their money together, and paid him back the amount his original bill cost. Then he left.
"Sure wish Jimmy was here, Sheen. It's not the same not seeing your best friend watch you from the audience, especially under all this pressure. I was hoping he'd get a chance to witness my new tricks. Where is he, anyhow? He and Nick have been gone for three days." "Well, I don't know about Nick, but he might still be with Jimmy." "Possibly. I mean, we haven't seen him around anywhere. But I have met a few skateboard kids who keep breaking their legs frequently." "What is it, a trend now?" "I don't know. None of them even knew Nick, apparently. Hey, remember yesterday when you presumed that Jimmy may be in his lab, and said it'd be a good idea if one of us checked? Well, when I decided to check there after school ended, it was already occupied by Mrs. Neutron. She said she had everything under control, so I trusted her on that. Say, I wonder if she found Jimmy yet, cuz she's been down there for quite so long." "About how long?"
Suddenly, Judy Neutron came upon them, looking like she's gone through hell.
"Hi, Mrs. Neutron! You're looking extra beautiful today with the bright sun rays shining off of your lovely complexion." Said Carl, in his lovestruck mood from the sight of her. "Carl, I have been searching in my son's lab all day and through the night! My hair is out of shape, I'm covered in transmission fluids, I still haven't found my son, so don't try to suck up to me!" "No really! No amount of filth could ever mask your stunning beauty! Heck, you'd still look good even in that embarrassing t-shirt with a picture of your favorite 70s' sitcom character on it." "Carl Wheezer, PLEASE! I'm in no mood for th- How did you know I owned a 'Welcome Back Kopper' t-shirt?" "Um, ItsJustACoincidence! Sheen, she's all yours! And I don't mean that literally, by the way."
Carl pushed Sheen in Judy's direction.
"Hi Mrs. Neutron! Nice filth!"
Judy grabbed Sheen by the ear, as if he were her own son.
"Don't you 'Hi Mrs. Neutron' me! Now tell me what gives! You said that you remembered that Jimmy said he'd be in his lab! Well, I checked the lab, and guess what, he wasn't there!" "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Maybe he already left the lab. Ooohhh! Maybe Nick's mom has a clue!" "Nick's mom?" "Well, Nick happened to be with Jimmy, or rather, stuck to him, when they headed to the lab. They probably undid the handcuffs right now, so that's why they were in the lab." "Hmmmmmmmmm."
Judy took Sheen by the arm, taking him with her somewhere.
"Where we going?! Are we going out for ice cream?" "Nope! Since you know more than you think you do, you're gonna help me find my son!" "But, Mrs. Neutron! Carl needs me! And there's a rerun episode of Ultralord coming up in just an hour!"
Carl, feeling absolutely helpless right now, just waved goodbye to Sheen. And since his back was turned away, all of his audience got off from their seats, and walked away. Except Bolbi, of course.
.............
[*Meanwhile, back to the middle ages*]
The boys sat on the floor, since none of them could share a stool together, as they watched Mitzi smelt a new key before their eyes in just 5 minutes, thanks to the new supplies Diana stole. When done, she grabbed a hold of Jimmy's wrists and inserted the key into the hole. By just one turn, the cuffs fell off like it were the end of slavery. Jimmy and Nick rubbed their aching bare wrists in relief. It felt like months since they could move both of their arms. No more painful dragging, and they can finally give each other some space for once. They don't have to sit, or lie down, in uncomfortable positions anymore. As much as Nick loves Jimmy, even he can get tired over a little too much bonding.
"Thank you, Mitz! You're a real lifesaver!" Nick was grateful enough to thank. "I never planned to save your lives. And don't call me Mitz." But Mitzi seemed bitter about it.
Mitzi, feeling like she helped enough, exited the room just to be away from them.
"What's her beef?" Asked Nick. "Well, it could be the fact that both of you are men, or she just isn't use to having strangers around here, unlike us, where we are open to warm welcomes." Replied Diana. "Hope you're right about the second part, otherwise she's never gonna learn to like us." "Good luck on that; She can be a tough nut to crack. By the way, how long do you gents plan to stay with us again?" "Until we build something that could take us back home. I was hoping I could borrow some vital replenishments that are pertinent enough to engineer a fully operative time machine, and I would also need some hypothetical earthbound to constitute power into it, such as raw minerals or a strike of lightning. Maybe both." Jimmy exclaimed. "What he say? Is this some kind of future language?" "Nope. Cuz otherwise, I'd understand him." Said Nick. "I mean, the right tools and supplies I need for a brand new time traveling device." Jimmy clarified. "Ohhhhhhh, why didn't you just say so? You boys are welcomed to use anything in the hut's shed, just as long as you don't break them." "Yes ma'am." "And would it be okay if me and the gang visited the future with you fellows? From all those facts I've heard from you, it sounds exciting." "I don't think so. It could possibly affect the timeline. But if you like, we'd be happy to visit you occasionally." "Oh, stop it, you! I'm already getting attached!"
Diana has been very good to them, so it's the least Jimmy could do. The boy genius planned on inventing that new time machine right now, but finally being released from those prison cuffs, it's best to start tomorrow and just relax today. Jimmy is usually in a rush, but sometimes you just need to catch your breath. He can't just keep pushing himself to get work done. Jimmy has had this new perspective ever since that little heart to heart with Nick by the campfire last night. Speaking of Nick, what does he have in mind now that he was free?
.............................
Jimmy and Nick were both chilling outside of the hut, sharing more conversations together.
"So you were jealous of me back then?” Asked Nick. "It was just a phase. I mean, you had everything I wanted. You were good looking, and tall, and strong, and pretty much loved by almost everyone in school. As I grew older, I came to realize that I love myself just the way I am. All that popularity really isn't worth it." Replied Jimmy. "Glad you've come to your senses. There's really no reason to be jealous, because living the popular life just sucks. There's nothing really to do but to shut up and look pretty. You're lucky to have real friends. My friends, if I can even call them that, just like me for my qualities. When we play games, it's only for sport, not fun. As for all those girls, don't get me started with them. No matter where I go, they're always there. I don't even like girls." "Don't tell me you still believe in cooties."
Nick doesn't know how to answer to that. By giving the wrong response, Jimmy is sure to come on to him, about his secret. Thankfully, he was saved when Jimmy asked something else.
"Call me nosy, but why did you and Betty even dated? Not that I still care about her or anything. I swear I moved on." "We never really dated. The whole relationship was merely a sham. We only hooked up because that's what the school wanted, since she is the second most popular kid in school. The fact that we're both pretty, they thought we'd be perfect for each other. She didn't have a thing for me, and I didn't have a thing for her. We set that public breakup for our own sakes, and not to mention freedom." "Did she mention anything about me?" "Moved on, huh?" "Sorry." "Mind if I asked the questions now?" "Shoot." "Hope this isn't too personal, but what did you ever see in Cindy that made you realize you were in love? Wasn't she always mean to you?" "Gosh, I don't think science has an answer to that. Heh heh. Well... it could be from the aftermath of the love potion. Or maybe because we're both smart and we carry the same strategies. Plus, we make a pretty good team. ...when we're not arguing." "That's it?" "Mhmm. That's it." "Well, pardon me for being critical, but in my opinion, real romantic relationships are made out of healthy chemistry. It should be based on trust, understanding each other. Working things out. Not having more heated arguments than a middle aged couple. Also, physical and emotional harm will get you nowhere. It takes more to soulmates than having a lot in common." "I know. And that's the reason why I decided it was now over between us. We weren't necessarily all those things you just said. We were just unhealthy for each other. When it comes to science, it triggers us into warfare. I thought it would be best for us that way, even after all those heartwarming moments we've cherished, the times we stood by each other's side, and when we were trapped on an island together... Nick, do you think I've made a mistake? Maybe Cindy was right. I probably was just thinking of myself." "ABSOLUTELY NOT! If you feel in your gut that it was right, then it's right! Having a fair share of sweet moments won't erase bad history! Look at you two; You fight like dogs over a bone with meat still on it! Your relationship with her is much too dysfunctional, which could possibly lead to abuse in the future! Can't you see she's giving you stress! That could be why you're always pushing yourself to do better! And when you're pushing yourself to do better, you neglect your friends! Don't you remember? You'll find the right someone eventually, but Cindy just isn't the one!" "I see you make a good point, but..." "But?" "...why are you making a big deal out of this?" "I'm your friend, Jimmy. Am I not allowed to be concern for you?"
Now Jimmy knew right there that Nick was much more different than his friends back home. Nick actually cares enough to show him which path is best for him, without being controlling. He acted as the voice of reason. Sheen never lectured him like this, and neither did Carl. Cindy did a lot of yelling and harsh scolding. If Nick haven't said something, Jimmy would've gotten pulled into the Stockholm syndrome.
"And besides, I know what it's like to be stuck in a relationship where you're hurt all the time!"
Nick had broken his rule of going overboard with his information, and he regretted saying it right away, but he had to let Jimmy know he wasn't alone. Now, he may die of embarrassment. Jimmy wondered, who was Nick ever in a relationship with that hurt him so badly? Their privacy was soon invaded when they spotted Benson poking his head out the window.
"Were you eavesdropping on us?" "Heavens, no! I was just gonna call you two for supper when I accidentally overheard your entire conversation!"
Jimmy and Nick got up and decided to head inside for grub.
"Look, Jimmy, I'm sorry for flipping out like that. I don't know what came over me. Should've just kept my whore mouth shut."
Jimmy only responded by wrapping his arms around Nick's stomach area, and embracing into a warm hug, with his face buried in his chest. Nick's cheeks were beginning to glow red again. He just received his very own hug from the boy he loved. Wait. He thought Jimmy was disgusted by the concept of men hugging each other.
"If you feel in your gut that it was right, then it's right."
Jimmy hugged Nick out of sympathy, since he showed him his. The sweet, caring guy before him was the person Nick hid from him for two years. He was the friend Jimmy should've had a long time ago. The boy genius eventually released from his hug, and headed inside for supper. Nick was completely frozen from that hug, yet his face feels so hot. He stood like that for three minutes, before shaking it off and stepping back inside the hut. Although he may not be ready to face Jimmy again after that one hug.
"(It was just a hug!)"
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