#very late response sorry lol logging in after a long time

[kayechanted]

I considered your point of view, that Taryn being closer to Jude resulted in her actions being more hurtful and then brushed it aside in light of how his actions are more egregious. I think reading your analysis as well as @maingh0st changed my mind about Cardan's actions hurting her worse, and honestly I admit I forgot the part where she left Jude alone with Valerian, in fact I never even considered her role in that, so good point.

What I think now is measuring who hurt the other more in this situation isn't possible considering circumstances involved, they're at a position where one could argue Jude was hurt by both of them to the same extent just in different ways.

Honestly, I think Cardan, Madoc and Taryn are all written in a way where their actions are despicable but to a certain extent understandable. There's something to appreciate about Jude's relationship with them, how messed up and outlandish it is, that's the charm of the books. What irritates me is the extent people go to give Cardan and Madoc grace but not Taryn, and sometimes Vivi...I'll conclude it there.

Final thoughts I just want to say I loveeed reading everybody's posts this was a really great discussion 💗

"we need more complex siblings dynamics"

you bitches can't even handle taryn duarte

[imjusttpeachy]

she's a rae of sunshine (c.h.)

okay so this was a request but i completely read it wrong so i’m gonna write it again but i finished this one anyway so here take it

so sorry to the anon who requested it bc u were so fuckin sweet i’ll have it up asap i promise

playlist

ralph castelli - morning sex

crumb - bones

jorja smith - teenage fantasy

summary: balancing college life and wanting to support your best friends online endeavors was difficult, but reader regrets trying a little harder when she finally meets one of her newer stream-mates

word count: 2, 828

WARNINGS: she/her pronouns used, coarse language, lowkey OOC Corpse, that needs its own warning i’m sorry,

•••

“Look you knew I had to stream before I said you could come over ya fuckin idiot.”

“Yea I knowwwww, I just wanted to spend more time with my super-hot best friend forever.”

Being the best friend of an online personality had its perks— the amazing trips you got to hitch a ride on, the adoring fans that seemed to latch on to you as well, the sponsorships that would always send you something along with the original PR package, and especially the way she was able to choose their own work hours.

Well... mostly.

As much as you adored spending time together during the day, whether it be shopping or going out for brunch, those late nights that always seemed to hold the most memories you held so dear were few and far between. Of course, you couldn’t blame her; responsibilities were responsibilities, and fuck if you’d let your selfish wants override the way she chooses to get her work done. You really couldn’t be one to judge either-- having to call off dates because you’d underestimated the time you needed to complete a school paper, or when a last-minute lab was called in and you’d have to leave her sitting alone in those cafes with your half-finished mocha and a promise to Venmo her the money to cover it later. What left you feeling the most guilty, though, was the fact that you weren’t able to watch her content as much as you’d like to. Sure, you’d catch a few minutes of a stream here and there but any time you spent apart was usually spent with your head buried in a book, mind bleary with countless espresso shots trying to keep your tired eyes focused on the seemingly unending work in front of you.

But, a distraction every now and then couldn’t hurt. Right?

Having had enough of your current assignment, any coherent thought was long gone, you’d decided to pay your favourite person a little visit. You knew she’d probably be busy as she hadn’t replied to your previous text for a few hours, but knowing her presence alone and any passing comments would lift the heaviness that had found its home in your head and chest, you shot her a message to let her know that her office couch would be occupied by you for the next few hours. Normally, you’d just show up so you knew she wouldn’t have a problem with it; so when that fateful message popped up on your phone giving you the go-ahead you completely ignored the warning of her work schedule and drove right over.

So now here you were, sprawled haphazardly on her couch clad in sweats and a sports bra scrolling through your phone as you watched her finish her final touches so she could start her stream.

“You’re gonna be in the background of my face cam if you wanna sit there y’know.” Groaning in response to her warning not wanting to move from the comfy spot you just found, you looked over at her with the best puppy eyes you could muster. She chuckled softly, raising her hands in surrender as she turned back to her setup. “Hey I really don’t care, just warning ya bug. The thirst comments and screenshots are outta my hands.”

Scoffing under your breath at her comment, you turned your head back to your phone as a Twitter notification popped up at the top of your screen.

Corpse Husband: streaming among us in a few mins, join in on youtube

Heartbeat picking up slightly, you scrambled for the purse you’d thrown at the base of the couch for your headphones. Ever since you’d found this handsome-voiced stranger’s channel on your late night horror binges, you had fallen completely in love. While you weren’t typically the type to watch video game commentary outside of Rae, his voice got you completely hooked and you couldn’t get enough of it. Yeah, maybe you were a bit of a simp, but that sweet and genuine personality that hid behind that gravelly tone had you melting completely into his clutches. You tried to convince yourself to get over it, you didn’t even know what he looked like. But, y’know, a little crush wouldn’t hurt anybody right?

“Going live in T-minus 30 seconds babe.” Jumping slightly as Rae’s voice knocked you out of dreamland, you mumbled out a small “got it” as you once again got focused on getting your headphones connected to your phone. You’d never been able to watch one of his lives before, his horror commentary videos usually playing as background noise as you did schoolwork or while you were falling asleep. Practically shaking with excitement, you opened your YouTube app seeing the live at the very top and tapping on it immediately only to be met with that sweet laugh ringing through your headphones like music to your ears. You grinned to yourself, grabbing the throw pillow you had previously tossed to the floor and hugging it to your chest while your eyes remained glued to your phone screen, completely forgetting what was happening around you as you zeroed in on the gravelly tone you’d fallen oh-so in love with.

“Hey (Y/N) wave hi.” You startled slightly as the faint voice of your friend sounded from across the room. Glancing up from your phone, you pulled an earbud from your ear and furrowed your brows at her before slowly processing what she said, lifting a hand in greeting to her watchers. She laughed at your confusing antics, turning slightly in her chair to look over at you. “What the hell are you so smiley about?”

“…Nothing..” You grinned widely as her laugh once again resounded around the room, shaking her head at you before turning back to her screen with a scoff, muttering something under her breath so only her watchers could hear. Smile still plastered across your lips, you settled back down into the comfiness of the couch and popped your earbud back in, zeroing in again on the screen in front of you. Watching as Corpse moved his character around the lobby as he waited for his friends to join, a small giggle escaped from under your breath; trying your best to be mindful of Rae’s stream but not being able to hold back the flustered feeling welling up in your chest, mind giddy with the thought of finally being able to see one of his famous live streams, well, live. It had only been a few seconds later when you heard Rae’s voice once again, only this time, not as muffled as before.

“What’s up motherfuckers.” Brows furrowing in confusion, you lifted your hand to your earbud and pulled it from your ear once again, hearing her voice from across the room but from your other earbud as well. No, there was no fucking way. All your questions were answered, though, as you glanced back down at your phone screen seeing a red character move around the game lobby along with Corpse’s, the gamer tag ‘Valkyrae’ floating just above it. Blinking hard at your screen trying to convince yourself that your eyes were lying to you, you slowly pulled your hand to cover your mouth in shock. How… How could you possibly not know they knew each other? With the way they spoke to each other in sarcastic comments, poking fun at the other it sounded like they were close too. Body finally catching up with your thoughts, you scrambled at your phone, shaky hands moving as quickly as they could to pull up your texts with Rae. Your fingers tapped furiously at the screen, anxious to get back to the live stream to listen in more but also needing to know what the fuck was going on.

TO my rae of sunshine: care to explain what the fuck is going on??! how the fuck do you know corpse husband?????!??!

“Oops sorry guys, guess I forgot to turn off my phone ringer-“ Staring up at the back of her head helplessly, you watched as she picked up her phone seeming to read out the text before bursting into a peal of laughter. Tossing a look at you over her shoulder, you looked back down at your phone bashfully, seeing the three loading dots in your message thread indicating that she was messaging you back.

my rae of sunshine: lol what about it? you gotta crush on him or something?

TO my rae of sunshine: …no

Hitting send you rushed back to the stream, anxious to see what Corpse was saying in response to Rae’s absence, not thinking anything about your brief conversation and thinking you would discuss it after she had logged off for the night. Though, as you heard her phone chime again from across the room followed by another bark of laughter, you knew you weren’t getting off that easy.

“What are you laughing about?” Corpse’s honeyed voice sounded from your earbud, hearing Rae’s giggles from what you presumed to be their discord voice chat. Glancing anxiously between his stream and the reflection of Rae’s face cam in one of her monitors, your heart began to sink as you watched that familiar mischievous grin tugging at the edge of her lips.

“Oh just my friend (Y/n) sent me a funny meme”

“Wait, is she the one in some of your Instagram posts?” You swear your heart stopped beating at that moment, eyes glued to the screen in front of you as you tried helplessly to process the conversation happening right in front of you. He knew who you were? You thought you’d always be lost among the hundreds of thousands of his new adoring fans, left in the anonymity of your Twitter tag in his subtweets, or just another subscriber that fawned over him silently behind a keyboard. Knowing that he’d actually seen your face you could feel your own beginning to heat at that moment; you brought your hands your mouth again, unknowingly curling your body tighter around the pillow in your lap as you tried to hide your face behind it as you become more and more flustered from the words nonchalantly escaping his mouth.

“Yea that’s her, pretty thing isn’t she? She’s my absolute favourite.”

That’s it, you were gonna fucking kill her.

“I mean, yeah... I guess..” The timid words followed by a soft awkward chuckle had your breath hitching in your throat. There was no fucking way this was happening. This had to be a dream, that was the only possible explanation. You were just about to pinch yourself when Rae’s voice startled you from your thoughts.

“She’s actually over right now. She insisted on getting wine drunk later tonight because her professor’s been on her ass lately. I’ll get her to come say hi.” Rae had barely turned around in her chair when she was met with your wide-eyed gaze, panic painted across your features as you shook your head wildly. You were in no state to be talking to your long-time internet crush in such a casual setting. But with the look Rae shot you from her chair as she started to plug another headset into her PC, you knew you had no choice and begrudgingly pulled yourself from the couch almost tripping over your own feet as you shakily walked over to Rae. Shooting her another pleading look, she only shoved the headset in your direction in return as she grinned up at you. Finally biting the bullet, you pulled on the headset and leaned down toward the mic.

“Hi, how’s it going?” Cursing at yourself for how quiet and shaky your words came out, you barely had any time to think it over before a chorus of greetings sounded through the headset. A small giggle escaped your lips as you watched the different Discord icons appear and disappear from the top of the screen. You knew most of these people already which made you even more confused as to how you managed to miss that voice from all the discord chats and voice calls. Well, knowing them was a bit of an overstatement anyway; you knew /of/ them, and they knew /of/ you in the other times you popped up in the background or in passing conversation during Rae’s streams. They did know you well enough, though, to know this was not the way you usually spoke around them.

“No way, that can’t be the (Y/N) I know!” The voice you recognize as Sean echoes through your headset, another chorus of knowing laughter following quickly after. Taking a deep breath you managed to force out a few words that would get them off your case.

“…Shut the fuck up”

“There she is!!” As the group erupted in laughter yet again, all you could focus on was the faint deep chuckle that resounded through your headset. Feeling your face start to heat up, you covered your wide grin with your hand as butterflies burst through your stomach; you could listen to that laugh all day. Before you were able to speak again, though, that heavenly voice piped up and wiped all train of thought from your mind.

“Nice to meet you (Y/N).”

“It’s nice to meet you too Corpse. I gotta be honest ‘n say I’m a pretty big fan of your no-sleep work.” And... there’s the word vomit. Fuck, you could feel your cheeks starting to heat up with the ongoing realization of who you were talking to.

“Aha thank you, I uh really appreciate that. I’m sure you just heard, but I guess you could say I’m a fan of yours also.”

No.

No, there’s no fucking way.

Is he...

Flirting with you?

Before you could even think about what to reply to that with, the rest of the group beat you to it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is happening.”

“CORPSE! You SIMP!”

“Is- Is Corpse really shooting his shot right now?”

You didn’t realize you were frozen in place until you felt Rae’s hand on your elbow, snapping you out of your bewildered trance as you tried to comprehend what was happening yourself. As your thoughts finally caught up to the present, you could feel your cheeks start to burn; pulling your hand up to cover your face you stepped out of the view of the face cam. Rae’s laughter filled the room as she watched your flustered antics, shooting you a sly grin as she started scanning the monitor displaying her live chat.

“Wait, wait, chats telling me (y/n)’s blushing right now?” Sean’s voice echoed through the discord chat, only making you flush further as you tried desperately to find a way out of this.

“Okay, okay, leave her alone.” Corpse’s voice finally piped up amid all of the chaos causing everyone to immediately pipe down. God, you didn’t even want to begin to think of the mess this has already made, you just needed to get out of there before you caused any more damage.

“Yeah, I uh- see- see that the lobby’s full so I’ll just uh- leave you guys to it.” Quietly thanking the stars that Corpse finally got you out of this mess, you went to pull the headset off your ears when that fateful voice piped up again.

“Wait, don’t let these nerds make you leave. You should stay- I mean, only to help Rae y'know? She needs it.”

“I do not!”

“I- I mean yea sure, as long as I’m not intruding,” Cursing yourself again for stuttering before forcing yourself to swallow the knot in your throat, “I mean, she really does need the help.”

“Okay just because you want to flirt some more doesn’t mean you can bully me-“

“Okay, I’m starting the round!” The booming accented voice cut off everyone else in the call as you all stared as the screen began to count down to the game, and before anyone had the chance to say anything else a chorus of laughs resounded, and then the lobby fell into silence.

•••

And it went on like that, the not-so-subtle flirting followed by relentless jabs from the group immediately after. The game was almost forgotten with how much of each lobby was taken up by teasing words and endless laughter, but every audience was just eating it up. You didn’t even want to think about the mess social media was going to be after this stream but right now you were having fun with your friends and that’s all that mattered. The grin was practically plastered on your face as you laughed along with Rae the chat during the gameplay portions and you knew everything from this moment on was gonna be different, but you couldn’t find a single thing within you to care.

Especially when you logged onto Twitter right after the stream and saw that little message right at the top of your requests.

@.corpsehusband: wanna hear some of that no sleep work in person?

•••

beep bop here u go,

[calaemonssi]

Itaru Chigasaki fan-fiction #1

(This kinda has some smut so UH warning I guess LOL)

IZUMI

It was another long day of hard work for Izumi, as the director of Mankai Company. I'm so bored...ahhh!

She checked her wall clock and found that it was already 2AM. Oh crap, I stayed up late again. Azami and Yuki would laugh at my skin tomorrow.

Stretching, she stood up and decided to get some water from the pantry. Right after going out of her room, she heard the entrance door click. Someone came home? Maybe it's Chikage? Or Matsukawa, for whatever reason...

Izumi peeked and saw Itaru taking off his shoes. "Oh, Itaru, it's you!"

Itaru turned around, his face seemingly startled at first, but then broke into a smile. "Hey, Ms. Director, I'm back."

"Welcome home! You must be tired." Izumi replied with a smile.

He laughed bitterly. "Definitely, but I still have enough energy to play, so it's all good."

Izumi sighed with a chuckle. "I...see. Well, do you want anything? I was planning to get some water, but I could prepare some coffee for you."

Itaru smiled and walked over to her. "Oh, really? That would be much appreciated."

She felt a bit shy with him a bit close to her so she idled away some. "Yeeeeah, I'll bring it to your room, so you can go ahead."

"Alright then." He simply replied and went ahead to his room. Once he was out of sight, Izumi heaved a sigh. Why is my heart racing this much? Weird...and I see topless guys all the time in this dormitory. Then again, when I do see them they're usually acting like weird hooligans so there's not much to feel nervous about.

She prepared two cups of coffee for the two of them. Once she was done, she went ahead to Itaru and Chikage's room.

Upon entering, the whole room was much cleaner in comparison to when Chikage wasn't there. I guess he makes him clean up from time to time. Chikage's barely home half the time so this is still basically just Itaru's.

Izumi knocked on the door, which caught Itaru's attention, who was busy tapping away at his computer. He immediately smiled at her when he looked over. "Hey there, director." He greeted.

"Hey, here's the coffee. Should I leave it here...?"

Itaru shook his head. "Please place it over here." He gestured to the small table near him. "Oh, alright."

She went and carefully put down the coffee on the table, but accidentally she knocked it over to Itaru's socket extensions.

"Crap!" She screamed, however it was too late. She heard a loud sound, which was none other than Itaru's PC shutting down very suddenly. "Wh- Fuck!" Itaru shouted in frustration.

He turned and met her eyes, his face seemingly bearing many emotions, as if he wanted to be angry but couldn't. Izumi was speechless - she wanted to speak and say sorry, but was at shock too. "Move away from there, you could get electrocuted." Itaru told Izumi, to which she immediately obliged.

"I - Itaru..." She squeaked. Crap, I'm so guilty and scared, is he gonna get angry at me? I want to cry...

Itaru opened his mouth, which made Izumi wince. Oh my gosh he's angry--

He suddenly burst into laughter. Izumi was confused, but laughed along nervously.

"You look so cute. Are you scared? Of me?" Itaru asked with a chuckle. Izumi's cheeks tinted red. "W - I was scared -- I mean, I thought you were gonna be angry at me! I'm sorry - I didn't break anything, did I?"

Itaru smiled in a seemingly amused manner. He leaned and rested his cheek on his palm. "Weeell, other than my magnificent combo and my extension, possibly, not much got broken. So don't worry, okay?" He said and chuckled. Izumi heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god, I was so worried."

He tilted his head and smirked. "Oh, what are you getting all relieved for? You broke my extension, you know? How am I getting all my daily tasks done now?"

Izumi's eyes widened. "Ah, um, uh--well, I..." Wait, do I have an extra extension in my room...? No, I don't, what would I need extensions for anyway? Should I ask the other guys...it's too late, like literally. I can't just barge into their rooms in the dead of night. Oh crap...

"Well, how are you planning to make up for this?" Itaru asked, still smirking. "Um, uh...for starters, please stop staring at me!" Izumi looked away, her face burning red.

Itaru laughed again. "Why? Can't think straight?"

"Anyone wouldn't be able to when you're staring at them like that!"

"Like what?"

Stop asking, I don't know why too. She thought and shook her head. "Just, stop, please, I'm trying my best here..."

Itaru laughed and leaned back to his gaming chair. "Hmm, well, if you're having that hard of a time, I could suggest an idea for you."

Izumi's eyes widened. She leaned in interest. "Please tell me! I'll do anything, even give up some expensive curry spices I have!"

He chuckled at her once again. "Lol, what would I need curry spices for? Silly."

"T-then what? I can't think of anything better than that. I could buy you a new extension tomorrow too!"

"Yeah, but the fact that I broke my consistent log-ins and daily task completions due to our sweet director's clumsiness will never be erased, right? Some of them got to my clothes too. As an adult, you have to take responsibility to the fullest."

Izumi shyly nodded. "Right..."

"But," He suddenly held her hand. "you did make me that coffee, so I'm not that mad and you don't have to do anything," He smiled genuinely at her. "Thank you for the coffee, Izumi. It's a shame I can't drink it now, not with the risk of getting electrocuted anyway."

Izumi giggled a little. "Don't drink from the floor regardless!"

Itaru laughed along, "Oh, but it's your special coffee. I have to make sure it doesn't go to waste."

The pair laughed together. "But I still feel bad, Itaru. I barged into your room and spilled coffee on you and your extension. I bet your game was hard too!"

Itaru rested his cheek on his palm. "Hmm, yeah, but it's no big deal. I can do it some other time, as well as those other games I had to do tonight too."

"Wait, there were others you needed to log into as well? Crap, I'm so sorry!"

Itaru laughed again. "Come on, it's okay."

"Please? I'll do anything! At all!"

"Really?" His smile had faded.

Izumi nodded. "Yeah!"

He turned a little bit to the left and sighed. "Hah, you're honestly so clumsy. You can't just throw around those words, especially with a guy."

Izumi was a bit confused. "Huh...? What do you mean by that? I'm an adult, so I have to take resp--"

He leaned close to her, to the point that his face was just a few inches away from her. "Anything...?"

Izumi could hear his heartbeat. He probably could hear hers too. "I- Itaru-?"

He suddenly broke into a smile and leaned back. "See? You can't just say 'anything' when others could use that to their malicious advantage. It's alright, just go back to your room-"

Without a moment's hesitation, Izumi leaned to his chair and gave Itaru a kiss.

It was a soft lock at first, but soon Itaru ducked his tongue into hers, and their tongues were all together and dancing in harmony as she fell and sat on his lap, her legs spread on his.

Izumi pulled away, revealing a confused and blushing Itaru.

"I- Izumi, why did you kiss me?"

She felt embarrassed, looking at the floor. "Um, well..."

He held her chin with his one hand and made her face him. "Look at me when you answer, please."

Her cheeks became even more red, seeing his pretty pink eyes made her heart beat even faster. "Err...I..."

Izumi's eyes landed on Itaru's soft lips, making her feel more embarrassed, her heart pounding more and more.

She felt something on her thigh, but before she could ask, Itaru spoke with a seemingly ragged voice, "You look so pretty right now, Izumi...you have to tell me, or else I won't be able to bring myself to stop."

He had sweat on his neck and some on his temple, his eyes were staring dead into hers. How could I answer him? I don't even know why myself...

So all she could reply was; "What's stopping you?"

                             V  - ! SMUT WARNING ! - V

Itaru sighed. "I'm going to make you tell me, you know?"

Before she could reply, he already went and kissed her, ducking his tongue in and kissing her deeply. She felt his warm hands come up her shirt, the calluses on it making it feel a bit more sensual. His long fingers reached to her bra and he unlatched them with ease.

Just how many times has he done this...I wonder.

He pulled away from her and pulled up her shirt, he took off his jersey and t-shirt right after. Izumi felt shy, and he may have noticed this, so he pulled her in and kissed her forehead. "If you want me to stop, just tell me, okay?" He whispered to her ear.

Itaru had always been a gentleman, even when he was being his usual geeky self, he always managed to be mature and kind at the same time. Izumi always, always noticed that...she always, always noticed him...

She felt his soft, wet kisses on the skin of her stomach, making her feel ticklish. "S-Stop kissing me there...it tickles..." She whispered, unable to construct a full sentence because of various reasons. Itaru chuckled, simply replying, "Okay then."

Itaru kissed her neck, her arms, her cheeks, his hands busy with her lower region. "Hey, do you have a...?" He asked Izumi, gesturing a box shape. Izumi blushed and shook her head no, "No! I've never thought I needed it..."

Itaru smiled and kissed her cheek. "You're so cute, Ms. Director. Don't worry, I've got some."

He took one out of his small drawer. "Y - You have it out in the open?!" Izumi asked in shock, to which Itaru laughed at. "Chikage put some there as a joke. He apparently got some for his...travels."

He began putting it on, so Izumi shyly looked away. She heard him chuckle, "I'm done."

Itaru leaned down on Izumi and kissed her passionately. How is he so good at kissing?

He soon placed himself on the middle of her legs and went inside of her.

"I - Itaru...," Izumi whispered, hugging his neck as he pressed deeper into her. "Izu...mi...," He replied in a ragged voice.

He went in and out of her, moans and groans spilled out of his mouth as he did. "D- Don't be so loud...," Izumi told him, holding his mouth. "The other guys would hear us...-"

Itaru suddenly thurst inside her, making her yelp. "Ahh!"

He held her mouth this time, shy as she felt his smile under her fingers. "Be quiet, Ms. Director."

They kept on and on, kissing and playing with each other...

"I - I'm coming-!"

before they knew it, it was already morning.

Itaru hugged Izumi's bare body the whole time after doing...that. Izumi woke up earlier than him, so she went and wore his jersey then plopped back into bed, snuggling into his arms. She stared at his fair complexion, his long eyelashes elegantly placed on his eyes. His dark blonde hair was strikingly pretty...If only your eyes were open right now, I could appreciate the whole set.

Just as Izumi thought of that, Itaru slowly opened his dark pink eyes. When they met her bright hazel ones, he immediately broke into a smile and supplied her with a gentle peck on the lips.

"Good morning, Izumi, do you want to go for some coffee?"

At that moment, everything Izumi felt finally made sense.

- end.

~~~~

that’s it, that’s the post. HSAHJDGJASGD yeah hello tumblr.

ANYWAY I hope u enjoyed my 1) first post on tumblr (and it’s a smut fanfic haha,,,) and 2) attempt to write a one-shot fanfiction about our dear otaku actor here! It was fun and kinda embarrassing but I hope u guys liked it anyway :D

I’m really sorry im so embarrassed pls be gentle with criticisms...

[talesbytaylor]

I’m very sorry.

It’s been almost a month since I’ve logged into this account, and I was surprised to find that some people had responded to my Fanfic Request post from before. Please let me explain myself: After the first several days of posting, I didn’t have any responses (nor any boosts, not even from people who I’m close to on my other, non-writing blog) so I stopped logging in because I wasn’t expecting any more responses. 

It looks like I’ve gained followers simply because of my free offer. If you are one of them, I’m truly sorry but I cannot take on any further requests for now. I might do it again in the future, if my personal life gets more calm down. Please feel free to unfollow me if you wish.

For the one fanfic request I was working on, I’m also truly sorry about the lateness but it hasn’t been finished yet. If you are the anon requester, please PM me if you still want it to completion.

For anyone else wondering, I suffer from clinical depression and general anxiety disorder. If you also have it, you  probably know what I mean. When I first opened up this account, I was already experiencing a low and it was a last-ditch effort to busy myself with a beloved hobby, which is writing for me. 

Obviously that failed. Sometimes, medication and exercising and eating healthy isn’t enough (I do all three). It can depend on your personal circumstances too. For example ... I’m also in a situation where I don’t know how long I can survive at my current full-time job, due to possible layoffs and firings within the company (and I haven’t been getting along with the supervisor that I work with, who has also turned me against my own direct supervisor). In other words, I’m going through some shit right now. I can’t even talk to anybody about my suicidal ideations without risking myself to a 5150 lol. 

But ... I’m trying. The important thing is to try. Even if it destroys your insides.

Depression and anxiety disorders are a health condition that we must adjust our lives to (I am trying to stop thinking of it as a disease - we have enough doom and gloom social media posts already, especially during the covid pandemic). It IS a constant struggle, but it doesn’t have to ruin or end our lives. Why should we let our demons win???? We can do so much better!!!!!

Anyway, back to my main point: Although I am not opening up any more fanfic requests, it is a possibility in the future, though I may only offer it to people who I am interacting with, rather than to the general public. Meanwhile, I am going to try to entertain the general public with my ongoing writings because I am just a nameless stranger to you all at this point >.< I want to be friends with everyone though. I know it’s not possible, but again ... I’d like to try to win your respect and friendship ^_^

From now on, I will organize my posts with hashtags so you can filter out the stuff you don’t care much about. I will be only posting about the following:

 - headcanons for anime, games, and TV/movies (currently, I will mostly be focusing on a jrpg called SaGa Frontier)

 - personal stuff and rants (I’m largely indifferent to politics, but if I ever do talk about it, of course I will make sure to use the #twpolitics filter!)

 - depression/anxiety wins and losses 

 - previews for future fanfic updates

 - some fan art, if I ever get back into drawing again

If you’ve made it this far to my post ... thank you so much for your time ;_; I promise to post more in the future.

Love,

 Tay

[anotherkpopvictim]

Into a New World (Through the Gate) BTS OT7 Fantasy Story Chapter 2

(Picture source)

A/N: Hello...I’m back sooner than I thought. I decided that Hoseok will meet the others a bit more slowly than I originally had planned. I think it will be more enjoyable this way, though.

Anyways, since it’s Yoongi’s birthday, I decided that we’ll be meeting him next...and perhaps someone else as well ;)

Enjoy! And Happy Birthday Yoongi!

Relationship: BTS X BTS

Rating: T (for now)

Words: 3424

Hurt/comfort, fluff, fantasy

PLEASE NOTE: I made an update to the worldbuilding notes about fairies in the last chapter, as well as a few small details changed in the story, so you might want to go back and reread that if you want all the information. Sorry for the confusion.

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Chapter 2: Cabin in the Woods

Worldbuilding Note on Immortality and Aging: In this story, every supernatural creature is immortal, though some more than others. No supernatural creature will die from old age, but they can be killed. For example, vampires and witches are the hardest to kill. Vampires can only be killed if they are cut into pieces, and while witches are technically humans, they can gain the magic ability to create many protection spells and reverse their age. Any other supernatural creature holds enhanced healing. There are a few kinds of creature-specific sicknesses that can also kill, but it is very rare. Low magic energy levels are the only other thing that can affect a supernatural creature’s health, though it rarely kills.

As for the ages that creatures appear, vampires will always be the age that they were when they were turned. Witches will often use magic to keep themselves looking young. Most other supernatural creatures have an ageless-looking appearance once they reach adulthood.

Worldbuilding Note on Vampires: Vampires are created from humans. Vampires are not able to have children, so the only way they can come to be is if a human is bitten by a vampire and has venom purposely injected into their bloodstream and then dies with that venom still inside their body. When they are turned, the person that turned them becomes their sire and is lawfully responsible for keeping the fledgling under control until they’ve learned the tools to curb the bloodlust.

Behind witches, vampires are some of the oldest supernatural creatures. While most other immortal creatures are usually killed off before they reach one thousand years old, quite a few vampires have exceeded the age.

Random Worldbuilding Note: Earth has different countries and traditions similar to our world. However, everyone speaks the same language (I guess we’ll say it’s English). Different honorifics still exist depending on the country (hence why they still use terms such as “hyung” and “noona” in this South Korea). Some supernatural species have a special language unique to them, but they still speak English as well.

(A/N: So sorry if this is super confusing, I’m new to worldbuilding lol)

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“-And this is where Jin-hyungie yelled at Namjoon-hyungie for breaking his vase. I think he said it was like thousands of years old or something...”

The little vamp’s commentary was cute, but Hoseok found himself a bit distracted by the beautiful mansion he’d been led to.

Jungkook had shown him the few miles back to the residence he apparently shared with five others. It was situated at the edge of the large forest Hoseok had been dropped into, an extravagant, nature-inspired mansion just before the tree line. Largely constructed of large logs of wood, Hoseok couldn’t help but admire the details in the craftsmanship. Fairies had an appreciation for nature, so he saw many houses just like this one back in Aurora.

Hoseok followed Jungkook through the front door and into a big entry room where the younger was currently rambling about random memories and his ‘hyungies’.

After switching their dirty shoes for slippers, they made their way up a grand staircase just beyond the foyer and ended up in a lounge room where Hoseok couldn’t help but freeze in his steps at the sight of another person.

A small man with pale skin and a dark, sharp gaze stood only a few feet in front of them with curious eyes. He was dressed in blue velvet pajamas and had matching sliders on his feet. He’d obviously just come through the door on the left side of the room that leads even further into the house. He looked at Hoseok with analyzing eyes. “Jungkook, is this a friend of yours?” the man asked, tone neutral.

“Oh, Yoongi-hyung!” Jungkook exclaimed, an excited smile on his face. “This is Hoseok-ssi, he’s a fairy! I just found him in the woods and told him he could stay here-”

“You what?” The man, Yoongi, hissed, eyes suddenly narrowing in on the young vampire. (Yoongi’s look)

Jungkook became wide-eyed at his hyung’s outburst and repeated unsurely, “I-I found him in the woods...”

Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “Jeon Jungkook, what the actual fuck were you thinking?” Despite the angry worry in the words, Hoseok could hear the underlying fondness as well. Yoongi dropped his hand and looked at Jungkook seriously. “How many times have hyungs told you that you can’t just bring strangers into our house, especially a random fairy you found in the woods -,” his feline-like eyes cut to Hoseok, “- No offense.”

Hoseok waved him off, understanding. “None taken. It was a little strange that he seemed to trust me so quickly, but I thought it was perhaps just a custom on Earth.”

Jungkook pouted, slouched over next to him. He obviously took the gentle reprimand from his hyung to heart.

Yoongi was still regarding Hoseok with a calculating gaze but remained amicable. “Jungkook is still young, he doesn’t see new people very often.”

The fairy hummed in agreement. If Jungkook had been turned only seven years ago, that meant that he probably still needed to be close to his sire most of the time. Carrying on that train of thought, “Are you his sire?”

“I am,” the older vampire replied, before cutting to the chase. “Do you have any intentions of harming me or any of my pack?”

Hoseok could tell that Yoongi was quite a bit older than him by his aura alone, but the impact the vampire’s demanding words had on him left no room for doubt. His tone was laced with dominance, letting the other know that he really didn’t want to know the consequences that came with lying. Not that a fairy could straight out lie anyways.

Thankfully, the fairy just had to be honest. “I wish no harm to you or your pack,” he replied, hoping his genuine tone got across to him. “I apologize if I’m intruding.”

Yoongi sighed, “Well, Jungkook already invited you in and it would be rude to throw you back out.” The vampire took a moment to think before he said, “Follow me. I think we should probably talk about a few things.”

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“I’m sure you understand that I need to know more about you before you can stay with us as a guest,” Yoongi said. He’d led them to another lounge room, one that apparently the pack used most often.

Hoseok agreed with a nod as he settled down onto the comfortable, plush sofa, the other two taking the pair of empty recliners across from him. “Of course I understand. We are strangers. I suppose I should be wearier of you as well but I honestly don’t think I have the strength at the moment.”

He’d been slowly feeling the energy drain out of him since he came through the Gate, but now that he was seated, he realized that his earlier tiredness was becoming increasingly greater.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook immediately asked, worry in his gaze. “Did your journey through the Gate take a big toll on you?”

“Gate?” Yoongi asked, eyebrow raised.

“Yes, hyung,” Jungkook replied. “Hoseok-ssi came through the forest Gate.”

“The gate in the Mysterious Forest? Our Mysterious Forest?” At the younger vampire’s confirming nod, Yoongi hummed thoughtfully. “That’s never a good sign.”

Hoseok frowned, “What do you mean?”

Yoongi shifted his gaze back over to him, “Do you think that anyone really wants to go to a place with a name such as the Mysterious Forest?”

Well, he certainly had a point there.

“I didn’t know where I was going when I went through the Gate,” Hoseok admitted. “Unfortunately, it was without my consent.”

The older vampire furrowed his brows in confusion. “If that’s all, why didn’t you simply go back through?”

The fairy sighed. “It’s a bit hard to...”

As he was trying to find his words, a new figure walked through the door to the lounge room. Hoseok watched as a short man with what could only be a dancer’s body walked in. He wore jeans and a black knit-sweater interwoven with bright colors to form random words. He was a sight for sore eyes with his bubblegum pink hair and matching plump, pink lips.

It was the color that first made him realize who the man before him was, then the familiar aura about him confirmed Hoseok’s suspicions.

This was Jungkook’s fairy hyung. What had the young vamp said his name was again?

The man’s eyes were also undoubtedly flashing the same shade as his hair as he took in Hoseok, his expression melting from surprise into an angelic smile. (Jimin’s look) “And just who do we have here?”

“Jimin-ah,” Yoongi greeted, a small but fond smile on his face. The same kind of fondness that he’d expressed towards Jungkook not too long ago. “You’re home early.”

The man, Jimin, replied to the older vampire but didn’t let his eyes stray from Hoseok. “Jin-hyung told me to go home because he says I’ve been working too hard lately.”

Before that conversation could continue, Jimin strutted across the floor with a light confidence about him and held his hand out towards Hoseok.

Blinking in surprise, Hoseok lifted his hand shakily, thankful when Jimin took the initiative to press their palms flat together in a traditional fairy greeting. Hoseok felt a rush of kind and loving flow through him - Jimin’s unmistakable aura. He knew that Jimin was probably feeling his own orange positivity and warmth. As fairies, they could sense each other’s intentions easily.

“It’s nice to meet you,” the pink fairy greeted, relaxed. “I’m Park Jimin.”

“Jung Hoseok,” the orange fairy breathed, relieved to find the reassurance of a kind soul.

Jimin’s eyes widened slightly, “You don’t happen to be one of the Jungs, would you? Aurora’s royal family?”

Yoongi’s eyes cut to Hoseok with that same sharp gaze while Jungkook looked at him with a bewildered expression. If they weren’t so unfamiliar with each other, Hoseok might have laughed at the totally stark contrast between the two.

As it was, Hoseok bit his lip and nodded in answer to the man’s question, unable to lie even if he wanted to. “Yes, I am part of the royal family.”

Jimin quirked an eyebrow at him, “Then what in the world are you doing here?”

“That’s what he was explaining to us before you arrived,” Yoongi said. “Jungkook was in the forest when Hoseok-ssi came through the Gate. He brought him back here.”

“Brought him back-” Jimin looked like he was about to explode as he desperately looked at the young vampire. He seemed to cut himself off before he could start scolding him. “Never mind, that’s not important right now. What is important is why Hoseok-ssi came through the Gate and why his energy levels are dropping. So, while I make some tea to help with that, he can continue his story.”

Hoseok was a little surprised by how forward the other fairy was, but he didn’t question it.

Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to tell three nearly strangers his personal story, but Hoseok felt all the adrenaline of the last few hours wear off and bone-deep exhaustion take its place.

As Jimin made his way over to the corner of the lounge room, where a small counter sat, to turn on the kettle to boil, Hoseok took a deep breath. “I’m...my older brother is the King of the Fairy Kingdom,” he began, ignoring Jungkook’s immediate little gasp of surprise. “I...We had a disagreement during a council meeting and he...he, ah, he banished me from Aurora.”

Hoseok couldn��t help but feel embarrassed as he took in Jungkook’s shocked expression and Yoongi’s thoughtful one.

Jimin sat down bravely next to Hoseok and place a comforting hand over his own. “Your brother is King Minseok?” At Hoseok’s confirming nod, Jimin hummed understandingly. “He’s a...a bit of a loose cannon, isn’t he?”

Hoseok hummed his affirmation. “No one can predict how he’ll react to something, even the smallest of things. After our father was killed fifteen years ago, Minseok has had the throne.”

“I remember the coronation,” Jimin commented.

Hoseok vaguely wondered why Jimin had left Aurora, and if it had been of his own accord. However, he knew that he was the one being interrogated right now.

“I was under the impression that the current King was a good man,” Yoongi said, his brows furrowed slightly.

“He is,” Hoseok defended, almost instinctively. “I mean...he’s far from the worst ruler the Kingdom has ever known.”

“That’s not very convincing,” Yoongi rebutted.

“He has good intentions, but he is prideful,” Hoseok admitted. He’d never said such things about his brother out loud before, and it honestly felt really good. “He doesn’t like when someone has ideas that differ from his own.”

“H-He banned you just because you had a different opinion than him?!” Jungkook nearly shouted, incredulous.

Hoseok nodded, still a little ashamed. “I’m not allowed back into Aurora. He’ll kill me if I show up there ever again.”

A silence came over the room as everyone digested Hoseok’s story. Yoongi and Jungkook were both obviously lost in thought as Jimin crossed the room once more when the kettle whistled.

Hoseok watched as Jimin pulled a teabag out of a tall, silver container and placed it in one of the available mugs. Jimin then poured the water into the mug as well before adding in a bit of honey and stirring. In the back of his mind, Hoseok wondered if Jimin somehow knew that that was how he preferred his tea, or if it was simply a coincidence.

The pink fairy sauntered back over to the sofa and handed Hoseok the steaming cup of tea. “I could feel your energy levels sinking, so this should help a bit.”

Hoseok inhaled the scent of berries and a hint of citrus. Cautiously, he took a sip. There were floral undertones to the tea that seemed to send a spark of something through his veins, though he couldn’t quite identify what it was.

“It tastes wonderful,” he complimented. “I swear I feel more stable already.”

Jimin giggled, “I would hope so. Our Taehyungie worked on perfecting that blend for years.”

Another one of Jungkook’s ‘hyungies’, Hoseok guessed.

He hadn’t really wanted to admit to himself, but his magic energy truly was dropping low. He’d never experienced it before himself, nor had he heard many others’ stories of it, but Hoseok knew that’s what was happening to him. Low magic energy is one of the only ‘sicknesses’ that could kill a supernatural creature. Though typically caused by overuse of magic, it can also be caused by a spell or come about as a reaction to shock. Hoseok didn’t think that what he’d gone through that day warranted enough shock to cause it, but he certainly hadn’t overused his magic. Perhaps a spell had been cast on him by a witch, though that was highly unlikely. Oh well, that was something for future, not-tired Hoseok to worry about.

“Well, thank you,” Hoseok said. “Both for the tea and for taking me in. I don’t really have anywhere to go.”

“You should be thanking Jungkook for being reckless,” Yoongi replied. “If he hadn’t brought you here, we wouldn’t have been able to help you.”

Jungkook looked up at the older vampire then, all wide, puppy eyes and a pout on his lips. “H-Hyungie, I’m so sorry that I was so stupid. I realize now that Hoseok-ssi could have been a bad person and I let him into our house. I just really liked him and I wanted to help him,” Jungkook muttered, still ashamed. “I didn’t mean to put the pack in danger.”

Hoseok was surprised when, for the first time, Yoongi’s expression shifted into something else entirely, his typically stoic exterior melting completely at the younger vampire’s cuteness and innocence. He reached out and curled a hand around Jungkook’s shoulder, sliding to the edge of his seat so he could be closer to the younger.

“It’s alright, little one,” Yoongi reassured in a smooth, calming tone that filled Hoseok with warmth. “I know you didn’t mean to. You haven’t been in contact with many others besides us in years, I’m sure meeting a new person was really exciting. Just remember to be more careful in the future.”

Jungkook nodded almost feverishly as he melted into his hyung’s familiar touch. “I will,” he promised.

Jimin must have noticed the surprised look on Hoseok’s face because he couldn’t keep in his giggles. “Yoongi-hyung seems all scary, but he is truly the biggest softie in the whole world.”

“Park Jimin,” Yoongi replied, a fake-sweet smile on his lips. “Shut your trap.”

Jimin smirked, “Well, you can’t tell me I’m lying, hyung. I’m a fairy.”

Hoseok blushed a little in embarrassment about being caught staring, but he giggled along as well, albeit a bit more tiredly.

Jimin turned back to him and gave him a knowing smile. “After the day you’ve had, I’m sure you’re more than exhausted. Let me show you to a guest room where you can take a nap.”

“Wait,” Hoseok blinked, “So...you’ll allow me to stay here? Even though you don’t really know me?”

“You’ve been easily honest with us, which is rare, even from a fairy,” Jimin replied. “Plus, your aura has told me enough.” The pink fairy stood up and held a hand out for Hoseok to take. “Come on, you need rest.”

Hoseok looked over at Yoongi, who was now running his hands through Jungkook’s hair soothingly. The older vampire gave a single nod, “I’m cautious, but I trust Jimin’s intuition. I also know that I’m much older than you and that it would be foolish of you to try to take me on.”

Well, at least he was honest, even if brutally so.

Hoseok gave him a small, thankful smile anyways and turned back to the pink fairy in front of him. “Okay, lead the way.”

With Jimin’s hand occupying his right, and his left curled around the warm mug of tea, he followed the pink fairy through a maze of hallways. Unlike Jungkook, who excitedly pointed things out to him, Jimin was quiet, probably because he could feel how tired Hoseok was as their hands touched.

“Just in here is one of the guest rooms,” Jimin announced, pushing open one of a hundred doors they’d passed by. “Though, we don’t have guests all that often, so don’t expect much.”

The room greeted Hoseok with the same wood cabin style walls and floor that seemed present throughout the whole house, the walls decorated with a few abstract art pieces. A king-sized four-poster bed was the centerpiece of the room, with a set of drawers, a vanity, and a bedside table filling up the rest of the space.

Simple, unlived in, and a safe place to sleep.

“It’s wonderful, thank you.”

Jimin smiled brightly at him, his eyes nearly disappearing with the action, before he gestured towards the two doors to their left. “The en suite is through there, and the other one is a closet, though I suppose you don’t have any other clothes with you...”

“Jimin-ssi,” the orange fairy began.

“Yes?”

"Thank you,” Hoseok licked his lips, suddenly feeling parched. “I really don’t know much about Earth and I’m really not sure how I would have faired if the little vamp hadn’t found me. As reckless as it may have been for Jungkook to invite me into your home, I am eternally grateful for his kindness. And yours and your pack’s as well, for allowing me to stay here.”

Jimin’s smile softened and he replied, “I would never leave a fellow fairy in need. Besides, your aura has given me nothing but positive feelings. My pack trusts that I can read your intentions well enough.”

Hoseok took a sip of the tea he’d nearly forgotten about in his hands, soothing his parched throat.

“Get some sleep,” Jimin said. “Hopefully that will bring your energy levels back up some.”

Hoseok nodded in agreement, setting the cup of tea on the bedside table and taking a seat himself on the edge of the bed. Moments after Jimin left the room, Hoseok laid down to sleep. He was out before his head hit the pillow.

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A/N: Props to anyone that really worldbuilds in their story, it is not an easy thing. I feel like mine is kind of a mess, so I apologize. Let me know if you’re confused about something or have any suggestions for me <3

[antiadvil]

i AIM 2 b w/ u

summary: Dan’s life is a little bit of a mess. He met his only friend through a chat website, and Dan doesn’t even know what he looks like. The only person he’s ever come out to is said friend. He’s wasting his gap year away.

But hey, at least there’s that cute boy he met at London Pride.

rating: PG13

wc: 4k

notes: for the @phandomreversebang! lovely art created by @anironsidh and betaing provided by @quackitity (also stay tuned for @judearaya‘s version which i betaed and is very good)

read on ao3 or under the cut

Dan glanced at the time. He had a few minutes to kill before he had to catch his train to London Pride, he decided, so he logged into his laptop and opened AIM.

His heart skipped a beat. His best (and only, if he was being honest) friend was online. He sent him a message.

danisnotonfire: hey

amazingphil: hi!!!

He and Amazingphil had met in a chat room about five months ago. They bonded a bit over their sexualities, and then Dan sent him a PM about Muse, and then here they were, still messaging almost every day since.

amazingphil: what r u doing?

danisnotonfire: im never doing anything

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes u r >.<

amazingphil: guess what im doing

danisnotonfire: what

amazingphil: guess >:(

danisnotonfire: no >:)

amazingphil: pls

danisnotonfire: hmm

danisnotonfire: maybe

amazingphil: hurry up

danisnotonfire: wait im thinking of a good one

danisnotonfire: ok

danisnotonfire: ur running away from the police bc u stole the crown jewels

amazingphil: no u spork

amazingphil: im picking out an outfit

danisnotonfire: an outfit? :0

danisnotonfire: u wear clothes?

amazingphil: i hate u

amazingphil: i have Plans today

Dan glanced at the clock. He had to leave soon for his own plans, but he still felt a tiny bit jealous.

danisnotonfire: you have Plans?

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: what r u doing?

Dan checked the time again. He frowned. He had to leave now if he wanted to make his train.

danisnotonfire: getting ready to take a train

danisnotonfire: g2g actually sry

danisnotonfire: c u?

He didn’t wait to see amazingphil’s response before he closed his laptop and bolted for the door.

The train ride to London was nerve wracking but uneventful. Dan had never travelled so far on his own before, and his mother’s warnings rang in his head. As tempted as he was to pull out his phone and pretend to be busy, he kept himself alert, his phone safely stowed in his pocket and his backpack clutched in his lap.

His mother didn’t know where he was going. No one knew where he was going. It was a little bit scary, but also exhilarating. He could do anything; he could be anyone, as long as he was on the 8pm train home.

When his train pulled into the station, it was easy to follow the crowd of people in rainbow apparel to the parade site. Dan’s train had arrived a tiny bit late, and it looked like the parade had already started.

The street was crowded, but Dan wriggled and elbowed his way to the front of the crowd, where he had a decent view of his first ever Pride parade. He found himself sandwiched between two girls holding hands and a dark haired boy who looked about Dan’s age.

“Hey,” Dan found himself shouting to the boy next to him.

The boy glanced over, flicking dark hair out of his eyes. “Hey,” he shouted back. “What brings you here?”

“I’m gay,” Dan shouted. He laughed. It was so exhilarating to say out loud that he said it again. “I’m gay!”

The boy laughed. “Me too,” he said. “What a coincidence.”

“What’s your name?” Dan asked.

“Phil,” the boy replied. “You?”

“Dan,” he said back.

“Well, Dan, is this your first pride?”

Dan nodded. “What about you?”

Phil shook his head. “This is my third.”

“Wow,” Dan said.

Phil laughed. “It’s not that many. I’m sure there are some people here who have been to every single one.” He nodded toward a group of older men riding on a passing float.

Dan tried to wrap his mind around the fact that there had been fewer than forty London Prides. That everything around him was new and fragile and still in its infancy. “That’s crazy,” he said. “That that’s even possible, I mean.”

Phil nodded emphatically. “I know, right? If I had been born just fifty years earlier…” He shuddered.

“It’s not like it’s that great to be gay right now either,” Dan admitted.

“No,” Phil admitted. He looked down.

They were silent for a few moments.

“Sorry,” Dan said, clearing his throat. “I kinda killed the mood there, didn’t I?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Phil said. He shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with the plastic rainbow flag in his hands. “Does your family know you’re here?” he added softly.

Dan shook his head, eyes welling with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” Phil said in a rush, “That was such a personal question, I don’t know why I-”

“It’s okay,” Dan said softly.

Phil hovered awkwardly just at the edge of Dan’s personal space. “Um, do you want a hug or-”

“Yes,” Dan said, immediately crushing himself into Phil’s arms and squeezing his eyes shut.

He resolutely ignored the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“Shh,” Phil said, holding him tighter. “It’s going to be okay.”

Dan didn’t know why he believed everything this beautiful stranger said, but he did.

It was going to be okay. Dan let that message sink into his body, settle in his stomach, until his limbs felt less shaky and his footing more solid. He pulled away from Phil, wiping his eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t know what that was.”

“It’s okay,” Phil said. “It’s your first Pride; it’s overwhelming. Are you from nearby?”

“I’m from near Reading,” Dan said.

Phil whistled. “That’s pretty far.”

Dan shrugged. “No one will recognize me here.”

Phil nodded. “I’m sorry.”

Dan shrugged again. “It’s okay.”

“Well, I hope you have a good time. It’s a lot of fun.”

Dan looked around at everyone wearing various different pride flags, all of the floats covered in rainbow. “I think I will.”

Dan and Phil stayed together for the rest of the parade, bumping shoulders and pointing out people with particularly funny signs. When the last float passed, though, Dan realized he didn’t want to break apart.

He turned to Phil to say so, but before he could open his mouth, Phil interrupted him, looking nervous. “Actually, um, if you don’t have anywhere to be yet, I thought we could hang out for a bit? Get coffee or something?”

Dan had left a few hours after Pride for exploring London, maybe even looking at some colleges so what he told his mum wasn’t a complete lie, but he’d rather spend them with Phil. “I’d love coffee,” he said.

Phil brightened. “There’s a Starbucks really close by. If you like Starbucks?”

“I love Starbucks,” Dan said. He loved anywhere Phil wanted to drink coffee together.

“Perfect,” Phil said, already walking, presumably towards the Starbucks. “My treat.”

“Oh, you don’t have to-” Dan scrambled to keep up.

“Please,” Phil said, smiling. “It’s the least I can do.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “In exchange for what?”

“You travelled all the way to London to see me,” Phil smiled.

Dan rolled his eyes even harder. “It wasn’t to see you, dummy-”

Phil gasped in mock betrayal. “It wasn’t?”

“No,” Dan said, “It was to learn and grow as a person, to find myself, to-”

“Shut up,” Phil said, giggling. “Just let me buy you coffee.”

“Fine,” Dan said, pouting.

“Perfect,” Phil said, leading Dan into a Starbucks, “Now come on.”

Dan’s coffee was delicious, but he let it cool in his hands as their conversation went on. He and Phil had a lot in common, and their conversation flowed easily. They both followed a lot of the same online creators, they had similar taste in music, and they had similar senses of humor. They even had nearly matching hairstyles, Phil pointed out with a laugh.

“It’s a cool hairstyle,” Dan said defensively. Phil didn’t need to know that the only way Dan could make it look even slightly good was by straightening it every morning.

“Of course it is,” Phil said. “It’s mine.”

Dan rolled his eyes and lightly shoved Phil.

When Dan finally finished his coffee, he looked at it regretfully. “I guess I should get going.”

Phil hesitated. “I don’t know if you want to go back to my apartment or anything?”

Dan nodded, then looked at his watch. It was getting dark out. “Fuck. I can’t. My train.”

Phil’s shoulders slumped slightly. “Oh. Well, can I walk you to your train at least?”

Dan smiled. “Yeah. That’d be nice.”

It was lucky that Phil had offered to walk him, honestly, because Dan was completely turned around. London was one of the most confusing cities he’d ever been in, but Phil seemed to know his way around it like the back of his hand.

“Here you go,” he said, pointing out the train station Dan had arrived at earlier in the day. He shoved his hands in his pockets, staring at Dan with an intensity that made him blush. “I don’t want to go,” he admitted.

Phil drew closer, and Dan glanced around nervously. There were a few people around. No one seemed to be paying much attention, but that could change.

Fuck it, Dan decided. It was Pride. If there was ever a day for kissing cute boys in public, it was today. As Phil leaned in closer, Dan closed the gap and pressed their lips together.

It was sweet, shorter than Dan would have liked, but as Phil pulled away Dan noticed a man standing at the other end of the street, glaring. Dan could see Phil looking too.

“How about I just stick with you until your train comes?” Phil said lightly, but Dan could see his eyes still on the man on the other end of the street, who made eye contact for another second before finally turning away.

Dan felt the tension in his shoulders unwind just the slightest bit. “That’d be great,” he said.

Phil hovered protectively by Dan’s side for the next few minutes until his train came. Dan wouldn’t be much good in a fight, and he didn’t get the sense that Phil would be either, but his presence was reassuring. When it was time to say goodbye, Phil opted for a hug.

Dan sank into his arms gratefully. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“Of course,” Phil whispered back.

“Stay safe,” Dan whispered.

“I will,” Phil promised, pulling back. “See you?”

“Yeah,” Dan said. “I hope so.”

Barely a minute after Dan boarded his train, his phone buzzed.

phil: did u make it?

Dan smiled.

dan: yes

dan: ty 4 coffee btw, it was good

phil: :)

phil: b safe

dan: u 2

He waited a bit with his phone out, wondering if Phil would say anything more, but he didn’t, so Dan closed his phone and put it away. He let his head fall back against his seat and turned to look out the window, watching London pass by until it was left firmly behind him.

***

The first thing Dan did when he got back home was check AIM. Almost as soon as he logged in, he got a message.

amazingphil: ur back!

amazingphil: where were u :0

Dan hesitated. He didn’t know why he felt like lying.

danisnotonfire: i have a life that isnt online u kno

amazingphil: D:

amazingphil: betrayal

Dan didn’t talk much about his offline life with Amazingphil. He knew the basics: Dan was gay, no one knew, everyone still managed to give him shit for it somehow. But he didn’t know where Dan lived, his little brother’s name, or that he had traveled to London today for Pride.

And if he said something about Pride, then he’d be asked how it went. And then he’d have to talk about Phil. And he didn’t want to talk about Phil for some reason.

danisnotonfire: u have a life offline too

danisnotonfire: remember u said u had plans 2day?

amazingphil: :0

amazingphil: i guess i did

danisnotonfire: howd they go?

amazingphil: good :3

danisnotonfire: is that all ur gonna say

amazingphil: yes :P

amazingphil: i need 2 have mystery or ull lose interest

danisnotonfire: :0

danisnotonfire: i would never

amazingphil: good

danisnotonfire: now tell me

amazingphil: no

danisnotonfire: ಠ_ಠ

amazingphil: :D

amazingphil: it wasnt really interesting anyway lolol

amazingphil: i dont wanna bore u

danisnotonfire: impossible

danisnotonfire: u could never bore me D:

amazingphil: i could

amazingphil: law

amazingphil: textbooks

amazingphil: school

amazingphil: math

amazingphil: r u asleep yet

danisnotonfire: (-_-)zzz

amazingphil: c? told u

danisnotonfire: ok ok

danisnotonfire: u win

Dan still wanted to know what Amazingphil had been up to, but Amazingphil didn’t seem like he wanted to tell, so Dan decided to let it drop. He started to type up a question about whether or not Amazingphil had seen a video uploaded by a YouTuber they both followed, but he was interrupted.

amazingphil: im kinda tired actually

amazingphil: i think im going to bed

Dan’s smile dropped. He had been looking forward to talking to Amazingphil.

danisnotonfire: :(

danisnotonfire: good night!

amazingphil: good night!

He went offline. Dan stayed online for a bit longer, but no one else was really there, and none of the chat rooms he normally joined were interesting that night. Eventually, he gave up. He went to bed early too.

***

He woke up the next morning to a string of texts from Phil. He smiled, grabbing his phone and rolling over to read through them.

phil: hey i have some free time this wknd

phil: i could visit maybe?

phil: if ur free 2

Dan smiled harder.

dan: im free :]

dan: idk why u want 2 visit tho theres nothing here

phil: theres u

Dan had to put his phone down for a second to make sure his face did not actually combust from how hot it was getting.

dan: thatd be nice :3 i miss u

phil: lol, we saw each other yesterday

phil: (i miss u 2 :3)

dan: call me? :3

Dan’s phone started ringing immediately. He picked up. “Why would you want to visit Wokingham?” he asked. “London is way cooler.”

“But you’re not in London,” Phil said.

“I can be,” Dan said, his mind already racing to find excuses for visiting again so soon. “I could say-”

“Dan,” Phil cut him off with a laugh. “I want to visit you. Calm down.”

Dan hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, Dan,” Phil said. “Why? Are you?”

Dan hesitated. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you again; I really do. But I mean, there are so many people here who know me and I’m not really out. To anyone. Except you.” And someone online, he added silently in his head.

“That’s okay,” Phil said. “We don’t have to- do anything gay if you don’t want to.” He paused. “At least not in public,” he added hopefully.

Dan chewed on his lip. “Even if my parents were out of the house, my little brother is really nosy. Sorry, I don’t think we’d be able to go there.”

“That’s okay,” Phil said, even though Dan thought he still sounded a little bit disappointed. “I’d still like to visit you. I don’t want to make you come to London every time we want to see each other.”

Butterflies erupted in Dan’s stomach. Every time? This wasn’t a one off thing?

“That’s sweet,” he said. “But really, London seems better in pretty much-”

“Awesome,” Phil said. “What time can you pick me up from the train station this Saturday?”

***

Dan opened AIM again, halfheartedly hoping that Amazingphil had come online in the five minutes he’d had AIM closed. He hadn’t, so Dan sighed, closing it again. He checked his twitter for another five minutes, then opened AIM again.

Amazingphil’s away message wasn’t even descriptive: “How much pain has cracked your soul? How much love would make you whole?” Just a Muse lyric. If it meant something, Dan wasn’t going to bother trying to decipher it.

Dan closed AIM again. He opened twitter. He closed twitter, and opened AIM. He repeated the cycle until it was time to pick Phil up at the train station.

Luckily, his mum didn’t ask why he needed the car, just absentmindedly handed him the keys and told him to drive safely. He parked near the train station, hoping he wouldn’t forget where he left the car.

“So this is Wokingham!” Phil said when he got off his train.

Dan nodded. “This is Wokingham.” Phil was disturbingly excited to be in Dan’s town. Dan wasn’t sure why, it was nothing compared to London.

Phil jumped up and down, smiling. Dan couldn’t help but smile back.

“So,” Phil said. “Show me the sights! Hear me the sounds! What is there to do around here?”

Dan shrugged. “Uh, I don’t really go out a lot. But there’s this coffee place I go to a lot if you don’t mind more coffee?”

Phil narrowed his eyes. “Is it Starbucks?”

Dan laughed. “Starbucks? You wish. Phil, I am going to take you to the indiest, least mainstream coffeeshop you have ever been to.”

Phil blinked. “Low bar, if I’m being honest.”

“After this, you’ll never be able to go to a Starbucks again without being disappointed.”

Phil raised an eyebrow. “Tall order.” He giggled. “Get it? Tall order? Because Starbucks drinks are-”

Dan rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help giggling either. “Shut up.”

Phil’s tongue poked out when he laughed, Dan noticed. “Never. I will not be silenced.”

Dan shook his head. “Disappointing.”

Phil pouted.

Dan relented. “It was a little bit funny.”

Phil immediately perked up. “You think I’m funny?”

Dan rolled his eyes so hard they hurt.

Phil giggled.

“Shut up,” Dan said. “Let’s go.”

When they got to the coffee shop, Phil spent an obnoxious amount of time reading the menu.

“It’s just coffee,” Dan said. “It’s not that complicated.”

“It is absolutely that complicated,” Phil insisted. He ended up taking about ten minutes to decide what to order, and when he did it was the same caramel macchiato he had ordered at the Starbucks they went to in London.

Dan reached past Phil to put a wad of pound notes on the counter. “My treat,” he said. “Since you got the train tickets and all.”

Phil glared at Dan and stuffed a wad of pound notes in the tip jar.

Oh well. At least Dan could say he tried. And the barista, who was honestly a little bit cute, seemed very happy about it, so Dan was going to call this a win.

Their coffee was ready in just a few minutes, and Dan watched Phil’s face carefully as he took his first sip of his caramel macchiato. “How is it?” he asked.

Phil closed his eyes. “It’s amazing.”

“Better than Starbucks?”

Phil’s eyes flew open. “Now, now. I didn’t say that,” he said.

Dan snorted at the look of near-panic on Phil’s face. “Don’t worry, Phil. I won’t tell Starbucks you’ve been cheating on her.”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Dan. You’re such a good friend.”

Dan looked down. Friend. He didn’t want to act ungrateful, but he had been hoping that Phil didn’t want to only be his friend.

Phil groaned. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Dan looked up, confused.

“Sorry,” Phil said. “I kind of just got out of a relationship, and I know we live in different cities, so I don’t know if it’s honestly the best idea, but I really like you. And I want to make it work. If you do too.”

Dan smiled. “I think I’d like that.”

Their coffee date- date? Was this a date? It really seemed like a date- well, whatever it was, it went well. Phil admitted that this coffee was, in fact, superior to Starbucks. He told Dan a bit about his job- he worked as a video editor- and asked Dan about his. Dan was a little embarrassed to admit he worked at Asda, but Phil didn’t seem fazed. Before long, Dan was telling stories about all the outraged customers he’d dealt with, and Phil was laughing along.

Dan let himself relax a little bit. It didn’t seem like Phil was going to judge him.

They spent the rest of the day wandering around Wokingham. There really wasn’t much to see, but Dan pointed out all of the places he and his friends used to spend time, before, well, they stopped being Dan’s friends, and all of the little coffee shops and secondhand clothing stores he still went to.

When Phil got on his train home, he didn’t kiss him. Dan knew too many people in Wokingham for that. But Phil did hug him, tightly, and Dan whispered a promise to visit soon in his ear.

***

When Dan got back to his room, the first thing he did was check AIM.

Amazingphil still had the same away message as that morning. Dan sighed. Why was he so hard to reach today?

Oh well. There were other things to do on the internet anyway. Twitter was boring today, but there was always YouTube, and random AIM chatrooms where he didn’t know anyone. Dan lost track of time, chatting with someone he was pretty convinced was a fifty year old man pretending to be a teenager, until he got a notification that Amazingphil was online.

He immediately closed his other chat window; the fifty year old man would have to wait.

danisnotonfire: ur back!!! :D

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: im back :D

danisnotonfire: was ur relaxing day unplugged relaxing

amazingphil: lol

amazingphil: yes

amazingphil: i had a good day :)

danisnotonfire: that’s good

amazingphil: i was thinking though

amazingphil: u know what’s weird

amazingphil: i don’t know what u look like >.<

amazingphil: we should skype or something

danisnotonfire: we should

danisnotonfire: when?

danisnotonfire: like rn?

amazingphil: sure

amazingphil: if u want

amazingphil: im not doing anything

Dan glanced around. He should clean his room.

danisnotonfire: give me 5

He glanced around again. There was no way his entire room was getting cleaned in five minutes.

Oh well. He had committed. He slammed his laptop shut and surveyed the room, trying to figure out what he could clean in five minutes. Or, well, what he could shove under his bed or in his closet in the next five minutes.

He managed to hide all his dirty laundry, then kicked a bunch of the clutter in his room to one side and pointed his laptop camera firmly away from it.

He opened AIM again, composing a message.

danisnotonfire: ok im ready

danisnotonfire: my skype is danisnotonfire too

He barely had time to open skype before he got an incoming call from Amazingphil. He picked up, then gaped at the screen in shock.

“Wait,” he said. “Phil?”

Phil blinked. “Dan?”

“What are you doing here?” Dan asked stupidly.

“Skyping you,” Phil said, just as stupidly.

“You’re- you’re Amazingphil?”

“Yeah.”

“And also Phil.”

“I think?” Phil extended his arms, staring at them, as if to check that they were real.

Dan groaned, putting his head in his hands. “How did we not figure this out?”

“To be completely honest,” Phil admitted, “I couldn’t really figure out what your screenname was supposed to say. I didn’t really know your name was Dan.”

Dan laughed. “What did you think it said?”

Phil blushed. “I don’t know!”

“No, really,” Dan said, an embarrassing amount of affection leaking into his voice. “What did you think it said?”

“Like, Dani snot on fire or something,” Phil said. “Look, it’s hard to read, it’s all lowercase-”

Dan groaned. “You thought my name was Dani and my username was about my snot being on fire?”

“Look,” Phil said, still blushing, “I don’t know. What’s your excuse for not knowing who I was?”

Dan felt his face heat up. He shrugged. “Phil is a common name?”

Phil laughed. “Not that common. Dan, you spork-”

“Shut up!” Dan said. “I’m not the one who doesn’t know how to read-”

“Maybe if your username wasn’t so hard to read-”

“Oh, blame it on me-”

“Look, I’m just saying-”

Dan scoffed. “You’re just saying.”

“I am,” Phil insisted. “Look, we both made bad decisions-”

“Bad decisions?” Dan said. “You think us meeting was a-”

“Okay, okay. Stupid decisions,” Phil corrected himself. “My point is, we’re here now. Isn’t that what matters?”

Dan had to agree that it was.

[ikesenlemonadestandstories]

Level 13

IT’S A LEAP YEAR! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL THOSE LEAP YEAR BABIES WHO ONLY GET TO CELEBRATE ONCE EVERY FOUR YEARS! Aren’t leap years wild? Can you imagine being born on a day that only pops up every four years?

Tagging: @loudartanimeeclipse​

Master List here or check the tag Ikesen AFK

Warnings: mentions of alcohol

Happy Reading, T~

Level 13

For a Friday, work had been incredibly slow, so slow you nearly blew your door off the hinges in your rush to get home and logged onto your game. There wasn’t anything crazy exciting going on, but you didn’t want to chance missing EdoPorcupine again. You were determined to sit around and wait for him to come on-line all day if it meant you could apologize for last night.

After what felt like an eternity on the loading page, you were finally logged in. Sitting around and waiting had sounded like a good idea, but the practical application was always messier than the theory. There was no guarantee that your new friend would even log on today, and if he did, you weren’t sure he’d want to talk to you after you didn’t show up last night. Especially when you had given no warning you weren’t going to make it, not that you had any way to actually tell him you’d be late, but still. You felt bad. 

Your quickly spiraling thoughts were interrupted when the list of online players to your right refreshed, and a little green bubble popped up next to EdoPorcupine5661’s name. Yes, excellent, now to jump on him before he could log off or disappear into a quest. 

I’m so sorry! ← WildCyt0m3rty 

EdoPorcupine5661 → What for? It’s not like I expected you to wait around for me forever.

Huh? ← WildCyt0m3try 

EdoPorcupine5661 → I’m talking about yesterday. I stood you up.  EdoPorcupine5661 → Sort of, I had a reason.

Well damn. I actually no-showed too. ← WildCyt0m3try Got stuck at work. ← WildCyt0m3try

EdoPorcupine5561 → Good. We’re even.  EdoPorcupine5561 → Shall we begin?

Yes please! ← WildCyt0m3try Lead the way Sensei ← WildCyt0m3try

EdoPorcupine5661 → Only if you never call me that again

Okay! ← WildCytometry What should I call you then? ← WildCyt0m3try

EdoPorcupine5661 → Edo

Saying you were struggling was the understatement of the century. As promised, the monsters in this field were manageable, and you’d be able to come back on your own and train your bow skills when EdoPorcupine wasn’t able to make it. That was nice and good, but the grinding was driving you insane. On any given attack you did, at the most, five damage; That’s if you were lucky or had a weapon advantage. 

The battle was literally dragging, and you felt bad that your friend was subjected to the torturously slow pace. He just kept typing, “it’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.” over and over again. At first, it had been a little off-putting, but the more it was used, the more you felt it was his way of not having to admit he was enjoying himself. 

Despite his generally sour attitude, Edo, as he’d requested you call him, was a surprisingly patient teacher. Giving you pointers and items to make sure you got the most out of the maps you were being carried off to. With a bit of practice, you were sure you’d have this new weapon’s stats up to par with your lance skill. 

With the monster maps all cleared out and your training bow nearly broken the both of you decided to stop the grinding and head off on a few quests with several others from Team Azuchi who had logged on throughout the evening. You were having fun and with some good back-up, were even able to use the steel bow you had picked up in an earlier raid in battle. A shining moment for you if you did say so yourself. 

OneEyedDrag0n → Would you look at how Kitten purrs. Proud of yourself over there?

Of course! It was a great shot! ← WildCyt0m3try

EdoPorcupine5661 → It wasn’t bad.

See! Wasn’t bad! That means I did great. ← WildCyt0m3try

4myLord → Looks like Wild’s got Edo’s sour personality down to a tee. 

EdoPorcupine5661 → Sour? Who’s sour?

B00kOfLife7 → He’s not sour, that’s just how he shows his affection. Isn’t that right @EdoPorcupine5661

EdoPorcupine5661 → No, I’m sour.

OneEyedDrag0n → You’d do anything to argue with him! lol OneEyedDrag0n → How’s that make you feel @WildCyt0m3try? Special?

Of course, then again, my mother always told me I was special. ← WildCyt0m3try

EdoPorcupine5661 → Something tells me that’s not what she meant.

Guess you’ll never know ← WildCyt0m3try

B00kOfLife7 → Why not? It’s an easy enough fix. You just have to ask your mother.

EdoPorcupine5661 → Except I don’t know her mother… EdoPorcupine5661 → It’s trouble enough knowing the rest of you lot in person, the last thing I want to do is meet a stranger's mother. 

OneEyedDrag0n → What about meeting...not a strangers mother?

EdoPorcupine5661 → If she’s anything like your mother, than no thank you.

4myLord → Fair point, but I’m sure @WildCyt0m3try has a very nice family

Thanks for trying to save my ego @4myLord, unfortunately, I have to report my family is the screaming the opposite of me. ← WildCyt0m3try

EdoPorcupine → Oh, so they are normal?

Terribly so. ← WildCyt0m3try

You were laughing out loud, you hadn’t had a conversation this crazy with online friends in ages. Sure the banter between Rose and Yuki was always exciting, but Kenshin or Shingen usually cut in and ended it quickly. This seemed to drag on for as long as it remained entertaining and light-hearted. From what you had gathered, everyone on Team Azuchi knew each other, having all gone to college together, the real kicker was that they had gone to the same university as you. Even crazier, you probably had seen a few of them around campus unknowingly, assuming they were your age. 

The plan was to log back on after you had finished your dinner and run through a few missions with Team Kasugayama. Rose had messaged you just before you had logged off, letting you know they had made plans to get on this evening. A large part of you wondered what sort of job Yoshi held that they had to start their team quests around 11:30p every other night, but that also wasn’t any of your business. 

“I’m here, are you guys ready to go?” You asked over the microphone.

“About time,” Kenshin mumbled behind a chorused yes from the rest of the group. Making you laugh. 

The communication lines were quiet for a long time, nobody really talking as they played through the more challenging map. Happy with the damage your lance wrought upon your enemies, you were beaming. This was so much more satisfying than your earlier grinding kills. 

“So, I see we’ve added some wings to the group?” You heard Yoshi ask through the mic. 

“See, and you’d know that if you had come to karaoke last night. Though, I’m happy to report that I’ve been pleasantly busy.” The unmistakable pride in your voice carried through the otherwise quiet chat. 

“Ah, I was wondering why Shingen hadn’t given me a hard time about that yet. They sent you to do the dirty work instead.” Yoshimoto laughed

“Nope. I volunteered.” You stated, drawing out the vowels in your response. 

“Either way, I quite like the aesthetic it adds, not only to your character but to the team as well.” Yoshimoto complimented. 

“Oh, I mean, I know I look good, but I'm happy it makes the team look equally as awesome.” You snickered into the mic realizing the two of you were in your own private chat window. 

“So humble.” There was a soft tisk to his voice that he tried to use to hide his own laughter. 

“And here I thought you enjoyed my confidence.” Choosing to sound wounded. 

“Oh, hush, I’ll have none of that.” Yoshimoto’s was scolding before it turned serious yet soft. “Your unabashed confidence is what makes you so stunning.”

“What do you want?” You rolled your eyes knowing full well he couldn't see you and continued to fight your way through a group of soldiers who had been hiding in a thicket off to the group’s left. 

“I want to know where you got that bow.” 

That explained the private chat. Yoshimoto wanted information, and he wasn't sure he wanted everyone else to have the intel yet. It was a well-known fact in your group that you were also a registered single player and often competed by yourself, but that still wouldn’t explain how you had managed to get your hands on anything other than a training bow. 

“A friend.” You answered as cryptically as possible. 

“Oh? I’m a friend, I didn’t give that to you.” Yoshimoto’s tone was suspicious.

“You’re right, maybe we’re not friends after all.” You feigned surprise and tried to bite back laughter when he scoffed audibly in your ear. 

“You’re something else. You know that?” He sighed as you snickered.

“I know, had a whole conversation about it today.” You couldn’t hide the amusement in your voice as you continued on. 

“Oh? Yukimura picking on you again?” Yoshimoto’s voice remained light as he teased.

“Not today, I’m actually on another team. Play with them when you guys aren’t around.” You stated matter-of-factly

“Cheating on us, are you now?” 

“I couldn’t help myself. If it makes you feel better, they’re definitely my side hoe.” You tried to remain as serious as possible, despite the turn in the conversation. 

“Alright, that’s it.” laughter filled the speakers of your headphones, and you found yourself laughing along with him. “How is it that I’ve not yet had the pleasure of meeting you in person?”

“You work terrible hours and never show up to sing with us.” You replied.

“You don’t want to hear me sing,” Yoshimoto assured you.

“And now I do.” 

“How about this? I’ve got work in a gallery late tomorrow night, stop by. I’ll see if I can pick you out of a crowd.” Yoshimoto suggested. 

“Sounds like my kind of challenge.” Excited, you agreed. 

[otherpeoplesheartachept-2]

A Matter of Trust

Carry on Countdown Day 7: WLW

Margaret (the dragon)/OC

Length: 1366

-

Margaret was pacing. Well, in reality she was shaking so much it registered as a moderate earthquake, but to any creature in the woods near her, it would look like an old woman pacing. She’d woken up and realized it was almost time. 

Shepard, the nice boy who used to visit, was right when he said she was nervous about meeting the other dragons in the area. It wasn’t because she’d never met them before though, well almost not because she’d never met them.

She had met Sharon. After the dinosaurs and right before humans she met Sharon. Now she was waiting to meet Sharon again. And Sharon’s father, and mother, and three siblings. She was worried. Yes, even dragons get nervous about ‘meeting the family’. She was more worried about if Sharon still wanted her. 

Margaret felt the mountain beside her waking. She straightened her cowboy hat, dusted off her jeans, and put a log on the fire already burning. It was only two days of waiting before Sharon arrive at her camp. 

It was dark when Sharon showed up in her human form. It was easier to talk as envoys. Margaret saw her in the distance. Her hair was long and pitch black. She wore an old buckskin dress and displayed a portion of her hoard with a shawl made of feathers. Her skin reminded Margaret of dark weathered tree bark. Sharon’s eye’s where honey colored. She was beautiful. 

Margaret stood to greet her but was unsure how what greeting was appropriate for an almost stranger who held so much of her love. They stared at each other.

“You are here.” Sharon stated in an ancient language. 

“Yeah.” Margaret replied with bated breath. Sharon stepped across the fire.

“Why?” She stated so simply it almost didn’t sound like a question. 

The prickly exterior Margaret put on falter for a second. She was prepared to see if her mate still wanted her and if not she would leave. She was not prepared to utter the words because my heart belongs in your hoard.

She opted for “You asked me to.” As if that explained the years of separation between the pair and what must have seemed to Sharon as her suddenly appearing on her family’s land. She did not know Margaret had migrated as soon as she could, centuries ago. She did not know Margaret had been hibernating by her side all this time. She spun one of the many gold rings on her fingers. 

Instead of vocalizing a response Sharon examined her long lost mate. She had adapted to current human clothing, something wholly unfamiliar to the other dragon. She wore a standoffish look but under Sharon could tell her mate was scared. She wanted the fear in Margaret to be enough reassurance that she did not mean to hurt her. It wasn’t though. She had waited for years. Stayed up long after her family went into hibernation, watching the sky for her lover to appear. She never did. Until now. 

“I waited for you.” The words hit Margaret right in the throat. She refused to cry. She refused to let down her guard around someone with power to hurt her. But she knew Sharon was hurting to.

“I know.” Was all she could manage to say. She wanted,so badly, to explain what happened. She meant to make it to America before hibernation but she had kittens to care for. Young cousins, nephews, siblings, nieces. Her heart beat tried telling Sharon that she loved her, but she loved her family, she couldn’t leave them unprotected after some of the older members of her family had been murdered. Humans were new then (they still are) but they have always been dangerous to dragons. However, she knew excuses are never what a hurt mate wants to hear. So her lips spoke, “I will leave if you no longer want me.” The thorns that protected her heart thickened in anticipation of Sharon’s response. 

Sharon closed the distance between their envoys. Placed a hand on Margaret’s cheek. Her skin was rough, familiar despite the different forms they both took. “It is not a matter of want-” her hand pressed hard into Margaret’s skin. -”but a matter of trust, my mate.” Her eyes were misty. ‘Mate’ was the focus of Margaret's brain for seconds. They were still something in Sharon’s mind. 

“Would you like me to explain?” Tentatively Margaret placed a hand on the other’s arm. 

Tears dropped from Sharon’s eyes. She shook her head, hair creating a thin veil over her face. “Maybe.” Her hand wiped away a few tears. “I want-” She swallowed. “I want you never out of my sight again.”

Margaret recognized those words. She wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t sure words were what Sharon needed. She stepped impossibly closer to the other woman and placed an arm around her waist. Their eyes locked. Margaret’s gray asking Sharon’s honey gold for permission. Slowly, she kissed her lover.

Partaking in such a human form of affection was strange, but no less intimate. Like playing a song you used to know on the piano. Only it’s not a piano it’s some alien instrument. Margaret ran a hand through Sharon’s dark locks, rings catching on strands as she moved. They didn’t quite know the music theory or notes even, but they could play a song. Something simple. It sounded clunky but it felt as magnificent as an orchestra. Sharon’s tears made the kiss taste of salt. She pulled Margaret closer by the shoulder blade. 

Margaret was reminded of the last time they did this. Well, not this, a dragon’s equivalent. Sharon’s scales were beautiful on that day. Dark brown and sparkling, her eyes honey and filled with tears then as well. 

They had only known each other for a few thousand years, still, they were in love. Sharon had flown to (what is now) Russia, wishing to travel before it was time to sleep. There they met. Both middle aged dragons, one chocolate brown, the other a deep red. Margaret had promised to migrate to America at the end of Sharon’s trip. Sharon wished to stay but it was much too cold for her. They planned on meeting again in North America and introducing Margaret to Sharon’s family. 

She knew she would miss her own family, but she was willing to sacrifice that. She was willing to do anything for the beautiful girl she loved. 

The parting was no less painful though. They held onto each other for hours, but they both knew what had to happen. Sharon had said then I never want you out of my sight with a smile and playful tone. As Sharon flew into the distance Margaret yelled the promise to see her in two years again. 

But the humans in her family’s land grew bigger and smarter. They learned to hunt and kill adult dragons. Most of her family had settled into hibernation but the kittens were restless and many without parents to help. Margaret had to tend to them. Hide them, teach the older ones to fly and feed the younger. Eventually, when they were all safe, full of food, and hibernating, she made the journey to her mate. 

When she finally arrived, she knew she was too late. All the dragons were lying down; flora and fauna already making homes on their large scaled bodies. She wept that month. 

She found Sharon, clearly the last one to sleep, she was less covered in wildlife than all the others. Margaret made a space beside her, and, at last, hibernated. 

This wasn’t quite conveyed in the kiss they now shared, reuniting after so many centuries. Sharon felt the hurt and sorry in Margaret’s movements though. She also felt the utter devotion. She knew now, without a doubt that Margaret did not just abandon her because she lost interest, or found a better dragon. 

The pair spent the next few months explaining all that happened and how they felt and waiting for the family to wake up. Margaret still worried about meeting the other dragons, but with Sharon by her side, she knew she could get through it.

-

I’ve really attached myself to Margaret the dragon so I hope this did her justice. I hope at least one other person cares about this very very side character lol. 

[shadowreine]

The Art of Falling in Love - Chapter 4

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Pairing: V x MC (reader/custom MC)

Chapter Summary: In which MC has a chat with some of the boys.

Note: Finally an update! October was kind of a busy/stressful month, so I apologize for the wait. Thanks so much to everyone who’s been reading/liking/commenting on this fic so far. It means a lot to me. <3

Chapter 4: Candid

Once you returned to your apartment after dinner, you were ready to finally collapse into your bed and sleep, especially after such a long, eventful day. However, sleep eluded you. You lay wide awake, tossing and turning, your mind running at a million miles a second. You thought about the party, what went well and what didn’t, and what suggestions for improvements you could posit to RFA. You thought about the GCA and made a mental checklist of all the paperwork you had to submit in order to obtain a visa for working abroad…which brought to mind the fact that even before you could start that step in the process, you needed to stop procrastinating on working on your lesson plans for the upcoming semester—which was two weeks away, no less—and you needed to do a good job. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be needing a work visa at all. You let out a groan in the darkness of your bedroom, knowing that these anxious thoughts would never let you rest.

Ever since Hana had suggested your class could focus on art this semester, you couldn’t shake the idea. It was a good idea, and you were very low on ideas at the moment. The only problem was that you never really considered art as one of your strong suits, so you didn’t think you could excel at teaching it… But Hana was right, children love doing art. Maybe she was also right about asking Jihyun for a little help…

“Jihyun, Jihyun…” you said out loud, testing out the name. “Jihyun…”

V was a punchy name, short and straightforward. It was a good moniker for a hip photographer. But Jihyun was soft, almost a whisper, a pleasant sound sliding off the tip of your tongue. Now that you thought about it, it suited him better than V ever did.

Part of you regretted declining his offer to have dinner with him because you didn’t know when you’d have the chance to see him in person again. You imagined he’d be busy trying to get resettled into the city. He’d likely want to find a new place to stay. Maybe he wanted to meet up with others he might’ve lost contact with. He’d probably be caught up doing his own thing for a while, and you’d rejected your only chance to catch up with him.

Though, you couldn’t have just canceled on Hana. You had responsibilities, you had your own life. You had to make compromises. Wasn’t that adulthood? You couldn’t just drop everything because someone from your past decided to turn up again.

But… you just really wanted to see him.

You let out a sigh and turned onto your side, frustrated that your thoughts were keeping you awake. You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and checked the time. It was half past midnight.

Might as well check the messenger, you thought. Throughout the evening you’d received RFA app notifications, but you hadn’t been able to check any before now. Opening the app, you logged in and read the past chat logs. Only Zen and Yoosung had been there. Zen had entered the chatroom sometime after he finished his show, and Yoosung was taking a break from LOLOL. Zen told Yoosung about how Jaehee had waited for him outside the backstage door with her girlfriend Soomi (along with a dozen other rabid fangirls clamoring for his attention), and he sent a selfie of the three of them. Zen was the focus of the picture, of course, while Jaehee and Soomi stood together behind him, leaning so that they were in frame. This was the first time you saw what Soomi looked like. She was cute and petite, her blonde hair cropped short in a stylish bob. Jaehee and Soomi had matching poses, both winking at the camera and holding up their hands in a peace sign. They looked like they were having a great time, and you couldn’t feel happier for them.

Zen and Yoosung then spent the rest of the chat lamenting how much they wished they had girlfriends too and feeling sorry for themselves. Your eyes glazed over as you scrolled to the bottom of the chat. By now you knew very well how much the RFA boys, except perhaps Jumin, regretted the lack of romance in their lives. Sometimes it was cute that they had so much love in their hearts that they wanted to share it with someone, but more often than not, it got repetitive and eye-roll inducing, so much that you wished they could just find someone already so they could stop moaning about it.

Once you reached the bottom of the chat, you logged out to the main user interface to check everyone’s status updates. As you looked at the row of user icons, you started to feel like something was missing. The icons felt too big, as if there could be room to fit one more comfortably among them.

Then you realized why: Jihyun’s icon was missing. It had been missing for a long time, actually, but now that he was back in the country, it felt wrong not to have him in the messenger.

After Jihyun left to go overseas, Jumin asked Seven to revoke his access for security purposes. He wouldn’t have had time to log into the messenger on his travels anyway, so there’d been no point in keeping his profile active. Even though you were about to travel abroad yourself, you couldn’t see yourself staying away from the messenger for too long. RFA had become like family to you, and you’d want to keep in touch no matter how far away you went.

You wondered if Jihyun still had the same phone he used two years ago, or if he’d deactivated his service altogether. Come to think of it, since he wasn’t on the messenger, you realized you had no way of contacting him.

A window popped up on your phone screen indicating that a new chatroom had been opened. You looked at the time–it was almost one o’clock in the morning. Who could be online at this hour?

You entered the chatroom. Seven greeted you.

707: Hello, pretty lady!

MC: Seven, you’re still awake.

707: Yup. So are you, I see.

MC: Can’t sleep.

707: Me neither. Still reeling from the high of the party?

MC: lol sort of. I got a lot on my mind right now. How was your evening?

707: Fine fine. It was pretty good actually!

He sent the emoji of him excitedly shouting “yahoo!”

MC: Good day at work?

707: Yup! I was super productive. Got everything done in record time… I see Zen and Yoosung are complaining about being single again. SMH. They’re just jealous that Jaehee has more game than them.

You laughed out loud. Sick burn, Seven.

MC: You’re not wrong, lol. Jaehee can be very sweet and charming when she has the chance to relax every once in a while. I’m happy that she and Soomi found each other.

707: They wouldn’t have met each other if you didn’t push Jumin to give Jaehee a vacation.

MC: Yeah… That’s true…

As if summoned, Jumin Han entered the chatroom.

707: WHOA that’s creepy, dude.

Jumin Han: What are you talking about? Good evening, MC.

MC: haha hey Jumin...that is a little creepy.

Jumin Han: ?

707: We were just talking about you.

Jumin Han: I see. I just read the log.

MC: I think you’ve read enough books on witchcraft that you’re starting to become a witch yourself, Jumin. Speak of the devil, and all that.

707: Hehe where’s your broom, witch boy?

You didn’t ask Jumin what he was doing up so late because he was always awake at this hour, either spending time with Elizabeth the 3rd or doing business with investors and companies in different timezones. On the rare occasion that you had a bout of insomnia, he would be in the chatroom, keeping you company until you finally fell asleep.

Jumin Han: Will Yoosung and Zen ever get tired of complaining about not having significant others?

MC: Probably not. Though, I feel like once they do get girlfriends, that’s all they’ll talk about on here.

Jumin Han: You’re probably right. I don’t know which is worse.

707: Jaehee is pretty modest about her relationship. They should act like her! Speaking of Jaehee, as I was saying before Jumin interrupted us with his creepy black magic, I think Jaehee has you to thank for meeting Soomi, MC.

MC: Oh, that’s more credit than I deserve. I just yelled at Jumin.

707: lmao you did yell at him

Well, you had typed in all caps in the chatroom, which was just as good as yelling. A few months ago, Jumin had swamped Jaehee with so much work that Jaehee broke down crying on the phone with you. You felt so awful and helpless at first, but after you did your best to console her and hung up, you decided that the only way to fix the problem was to go straight to the source.

Jumin was unreceptive to your suggestion at first, which you’d expected, but once you laid out all the reasons why it was a good idea to give her a break and why she deserved one, his cold, distant attitude started to irritate you. You tried to be civil, but the man was as stubborn as a mule sometimes. So you snapped and capslocked on him. Then once you said your piece, without warning, you logged out of the chatroom and called his phone to tell him off some more.

Jumin Han: I’ll admit I’ve never been yelled at like that before.

MC: I didn’t *yell*.

Jumin Han: You gave me a very stern lecture.

MC: Well, Zen yells at you on here all the time.

Jumin Han: I correct my previous statement—I’ve never been yelled at like that by someone whom I respect.

You knew that was high praise coming from someone like Jumin Han. Sometimes you couldn’t help but have the utmost respect for him too. After the incident, you learned that Jumin had been so stressed due to his father’s current romantic engagements and the prolonged absence of his best friend, and he had taken it out on his assistant. You felt bad for yelling at him, and you apologized to him personally on the phone the next day.

After that, he decided to give Jaehee three weeks of vacation. Jaehee was resistant at first, but you convinced her to take the offer. She spent those weeks off the messenger and met Soomi at one of her favorite coffee shops downtown. They hit it off rather easily, and the rest was history.

Jumin Han: Anyway, I am glad that Jaehee has found someone she cares about deeply. It seems to have made her more motivated in her work.

707: …

MC: sigh

Jumin Han: What? It’s true.

707: Only you would make something that’s supposed to be romantic into something totally not;;

Jumin Han: I don’t understand romantic relationships myself, so I see no point in commenting on it.

MC: I guess I can understand where you’re coming from. I’ve had enough of talking about romance for one evening.

707: Oh?

Seven sent his heart eyes emoji.

707: Who else are you talking about romance with, MC?

He sent the same emoji again.

“Oh crap,” you said to your screen. Suddenly the whole awkward conversation you had with Hana came back to you. You couldn’t very well tell Seven or Jumin that you and Hana had talked about Jihyun. You had to play it cool.

MC: Oh… I just had dinner with Hana tonight. She told me all about her new boyfriend.

Seven sent his gasping emoji.

707: The hot new actor Hojin Park! He and Hana were spotted smooching down in the Maldives last week!

Again with his heart eyes emoji.

MC: …Are you stalking my best friend, Seven?

707: It’s not stalking when paparazzi pictures of them are posted on every celeb gossip site!

MC: I am not going to talk gossip about my own friend. If I did, you’d probably try leaking it to the media for a quick buck.

707: They pay a lot of money for ~insider info~ you know.

You sent an emoji that depicted you giving a very unamused side-eye.

707: Fine, fine. I won’t ask about Hana’s love life. You need to lighten up, MC. Maybe you need a l-o-v-e interest of your own, eh?

The heart eyes. Again. You dropped your head into your hand. Why was everyone so hung up on romance this evening? You needed a change of subject, quick.

Thankfully, Jumin seemed to have the same idea.

Jumin Han: I think this conversation has derailed quite a bit.

MC: Thank you! Can we talk about something else, pls?

Jumin Han: I actually came onto the messenger to make a request of you, Seven.

707: Hmm, ok. What is it?

Jumin Han: I’d like you to grant Jihyun access to the messenger again.

Your phone almost slipped out of your hand.

Jihyun...on the messenger again? Weren’t you just thinking about that only minutes ago?

MC: Oh?

707: Oh, I didn’t even think of that. Does he want to get back on?

Jumin Han: No, but I imagine he’d like to be, once he gets a new phone, that is. He deactivated his old phone some time ago, and he needs to get another one first. I’ll pass on the information once it’s available.

707: ���Do you think it’s a good idea?

Seven’s question took you aback. Why wouldn’t it be a good idea? You asked him what he meant.

707: …never mind. It’s nothing. When he gets a new phone, let me know, and I’ll add him back onto the messenger.

You didn’t know what to say. Where had his sudden hesitance come from? You would have thought Seven would be one of the more enthusiastic about his return. You remember Seven once telling you that he considered Jihyun almost like a father to him despite their relative close age gap. He trusted him more than anyone. In fact, back when you first met the RFA, you noticed there were secrets that Seven and Jihyun had kept between only them. Seven had come to Jihyun’s rescue at Mint Eye, after all.

...That was two years ago, though. The more you thought about it now, the more you realized that since then, Seven hadn’t spoken much about Jihyun at all. He certainly never brought him up in the chats of his own volition, and whenever someone else would mention him, he didn’t have much to say.

But he seemed happy to see Jihyun at the party earlier, didn’t he? Well, now that you thought about it, perhaps he wasn’t so much happy as he was shocked and…confused. Almost as if he had truly believed he never would see his old mentor ever again.

“We have a lot to catch up on, I think,” Jihyun had said. And Seven had agreed.

There was something tense about the exchange, some underlying thoughts and feelings that you couldn’t begin to decipher. That must have been what bothered Seven now. What was the missing link between them?

MC: You ok, Seven? You sound weird.

707: I’m fine. Gotta go, though. Long day.

He signed out of the chatroom before you could type another message.

Jumin Han: …

MC: Is it just me, or did something sound off about him? Does Seven not want Jihyun back on here?

Jumin Han: He seemed hesitant about it at the very least.

MC: Why? You don’t think it’s because he doesn’t trust Jihyun, do you? I know he had trouble with keeping secrets from everyone, even to Seven, but he just doesn’t seem like that kind of person anymore…

You weren’t sure if that were entirely true, but everything you knew about what he’d gone through seemed to indicate that Jihyun had had enough secrecy for one lifetime. The man you saw at the party didn’t look like someone who would harbor any secrets.

Jumin Han: I agree. I’ve been with him all evening, and he is definitely changed.

MC: …wait. You’ve been hanging out with Jihyun?

Jumin Han: Yes, he’s with me right now.

“What?” you said aloud. Jumin had been chatting with you all this time and Jihyun was with him?

MC: Really? Where are you?

Jumin Han: At my penthouse. I invited him over as a guest, since he currently has nowhere to stay.

You were typing to ask what he was doing, but your fingers froze over the screen when a picture popped up in the chat.

This time, your phone actually did fall out of your hands...and landed right onto your face, since you were lying in bed. You let out a pained shriek and massaged your nose. Then you jolted up into a sitting position and looked back at your phone.

Jihyun was in the photo. He was standing next to the dining table, across from where Jumin seemed to be sitting. He was pouring himself a glass of red wine. You could tell it was a candid picture because Jihyun’s eyes appeared as though he’d looked into the camera just as it was being taken, his brows raised in a half-expression of surprise. It was cute, actually. But that wasn’t what got your attention.

What got your attention was the fact that his hair was wet, sticking to the left side of his face. He had a towel draped over his shoulders, and he wore gray lounge pants and a white tank top...

MC: …

Jumin Han: He just got out of the shower. He’s jet lagged, so that’s why he’s still awake, if you were wondering.

You were actually wondering why his bare arms looked appealingly firm and smooth, and why his tank top clung so tightly to his slender but lean torso…but you weren’t going to type that.

MC: Um, thanks for the pic haha

Jumin Han: I thought I should prove to you he was in fact here.

MC: You didn’t need to do that lol. I believed you.

Jumin Han: He’s asking me who I sent the photo to.

MC: Oh...what did you tell him?

Jumin Han: You.

You blushed. Should you take a selfie of yourself just to make it fair? You couldn’t do that. You probably looked like a mess after tossing and turning in bed for a few hours… Wait, why did you care what you looked like? You’d sent less than flattering pictures of yourself through the messenger before.

Jumin Han: I need to go. Elizabeth the 3rd should be put to bed soon, and I’m going to keep Jihyun company.

MC: Okay. Tell Elizabeth the 3rd hello for me.

You debated whether you should add another line. Oh, why not?

MC: ...and Jihyun, too.

Jumin Han: Will do. Goodnight.

Jumin logged out, and so did you. You lingered in the main UI a little while longer, wondering what Jumin and Jihyun were up to right now, what they were talking about. Jumin must have liked having the chance to catch up with his best friend, especially considering how much you knew he’d missed him and worried after him since he left. You could only hope you got your chance, too.

You went into the messenger’s photo folders. Even though Seven had taken away Jihyun’s access to the app, he kept his photo folder untouched. You opened it and looked at the newest picture of him. Out of curiosity, you told yourself. Once it expanded across your screen, your heart did a flip in your chest, which was a sensation that utterly confused you. It wasn’t as if you weren’t used to being friends with so many pretty people. Part of the reason why it was so easy for you to initially believe that the RFA were AIs in a dating simulator was because they were all too good-looking to be real. Even now, you would catch yourself admiring just how beautiful Zen looked in his selfies, how well Jumin wore his business suits, how cute Yoosung and Seven were in an adorably nerdy way. Even Jaehee was exceptionally gorgeous.

Yet somehow none of them made you react the way you reacted to this picture of Jihyun. What was happening?

You reasoned it was because you’d never seen him like this. So candid, so...underdressed. You felt as if you shouldn’t be even be looking at it.

Get a grip, MC.

You exited out of the app, tossed your phone onto your comforter, and collapsed onto your pillow, trying desperately to wipe the image out of your mind so you could finally, finally, get to sleep.

[rkxblue]

happy #rkfifth !

i told myself i wasn’t going 2 do this b/c ... i’m lazy bean, but here we are anyway! let’s get it!

but anyways starting off rookies was kind of like a vacation to me, rp wise. before rk i had my own rp that lasted a while but during 2013, there was just some drama between members that i constantly had 2 deal with and honestly it was like ... dragging me down, making admining seem like a chore and i loathed logging on to the main b/c i knew there would be some shit w/ these certain people that i had to deal with. so seeing rk in the tags being a different kind of idol roleplay ( and shout out rk for being a trendsetter ) /and/ the fact that reserves were filling up so quickly for a new rp, i quickly sent in a muse.

and it was a little ... idk at first. i did feel out of place considering most came from a different rp in the beginning and i wasn’t, and on top of me being v awkward w/ talking 2 people on instant messengers, there was a bit of time where i felt like i didn’t fit in and almost dropped like 2 weeks after i joined, LOL. luckily at the time a lot of things were going on which helped w/ plotting and meeting new muses, and everyone was super friendly and nice and that’s what kept me here!!!

so then rk turned from a vacation you didn’t want to leave from -- i ended up slagging off p majorly on my responsibilities as an admin at my own rp for a while because i was having such a good time at rk -- it rly brought back my love for rp and muse and tbh if you look back at rksunyoung’s archive back in 2013 - early 2014, i don’t think i’ve ever written as much on tumblr as i did back then, LOL. rk has definitely had it’s ups and downs and i’ve dropped both of my muses before -- but it wasn’t too long before i was bringing them back because there really isn’t a place like rk within krp. that, along with the dedication between both members and admins, is why it’s lasted so long and is still thriving with a super active dash after five fucking years. that’s crazy!! i think i remember mei saying something similar on twitter -- but when i see old rp friends and they ask “omg ur /still/ at rk???”

so it’s obvious to see why this rp went from feeling like a vacation to a home, right?? it’ll always have a special place in my heart  ♡

anyways moving on to my characters too -- when i first brought rksunyoung, now miss rkxblue, i never thought that she would last more than a couple of months, much less be involved with so many things within rk’s history!! it’s ... p wild to think about, especially since i’m someone that has a hard time committing to hobbies and such. it’s been a fun ride watching her go from someone who was wild and reckless and had a problem with love and a little bit of anger issues to someone whos a lot more well rounded, a soft idiot LOL. she even finally got herself the sweetest boyfriend after four years of being shipless on the rp, which i still can’t wrap my head around because denying herself love and believing that it doesn’t exist was one of her /things/ for the longest time. the list of stuff she’s done is so long and now that it’s lead to her finally debuting it’s ... scary yet exciting for her, to be honest, she thought she’d be a trainee forever!! i’ve had a lot of ups and downs with her muse as well, to the point where there was like years ( i think ) of inactivity on my end and she should have 4238972389 more points than she does atm because of that. i do feel sorry for her b/c that was just me being lazy ofc, but in the end i’ve gotten my shit together on her and have been pumping out replies p consistently this year and plotting w/ trainees which has done wonders for her muse. and although hyomin was literally /the/ perfect fc for her considering her personality, the fc change 2 yura has also helped majorly with my muse and it’s been so much easier to plot and reply and even with her characterization too.

as for miss rknvna!! she hasn’t had as much development as sun, aside from her tumultuous rls with a former song minho and being a royal trainee during her first run, and that’s mainly been due to my laziness again jfkafl;a. the good thing tho is that i’ve finally been able to experience life as a rookie with her, considering the times my girls have become trainees were v quick ( sun’s first time was like a week or two after the rp opened, then 3 months after i rejoined w/ her, and nana became a trainee only a month after she joined the first time ) so it was nice to experience the freedom that came with being a rookie!! since 2018 has been sun’s year, i’m going to focus on nana for 2019 so that she can branch out more!!

i guess before i move on i should give shoutouts to all my other rkmuses throughout the years whose lives were so short that i can’t even remember their urls LOL -- my song jieun, park kyungri, goo hara, and choi jinri muses!! i’m sure there’s at least one more that i’m forgetting, but they all lasted around 2 weeks so...

but i also want 2 thank rk for allowing me to be more social as well!! i’ve said this in the last anniversary post i wrote 25238957 years ago but i used 2 have a phobia of sorts when it came 2 instant messengers, so i didn’t rly have one when msn was popping and therefore, didn’t talk 2 many people ooc wise in rps. i made an aim when i came to rk and just ... diving in and talking to people helped out a lot with that, even if i do still get anxious from time to time w/ just simply messaging people. :(

i’m a shy individual ( and for some reason its only exacerbated online??? idk fam ) and unconsciously rather private as well, so that definitely hinders me from making friends as much as i would like to, but it’s a day by day process!! it’s something i’ve come 2 terms w/ as of late and will seriously work on within the next year! but even w/ me being the way that i am, i’ve been able 2 meet a couple of people that have made my experience in rk just a little bit brighter so a ( very brief ) shout out 2 them ~

to maria ( @rkjinkis ) : my sweet angel!!! i’m so glad that rk brought us together because you’ve honestly become one of my closest friends from this rp and in general tbh!! ur so super sweet and caring and a blessing 2 my life, just as much as jinki is to ahyoung’s!! i’m sorry that sun is too independent for her own good but she’s working on it okay!! baby steps!! i love how genuine u are and how we can rely on each other through thick and then, and honestly i want the world for u and more. i love love love LOVE u so much, and i’ll make sure u never forget it!! thank u for being my friend and my source of happiness!!!  ♡ ♡ ♡ 

to hamin ( @rksoohyun ) : despite the fact that we knew each other from snu it was rk that actually got us 2 start talking and i’m so grateful for that!! u literally are the cutest girl in the entire world and ur just as outgoing irl as u are online; seeing morning musume ( a group i thought i would never see live ) w/ u was truly a highlight in my life!!! and ofc soohyun will forever be nana’s fuckin child and she’ll always be rooting for her happiness!! i love u u sweet buttercup and i can’t wait until ur back so i can talk 2 u again!!!  ♡ ♡ ♡ 

to mei ( @rkariel ) : man i admired u for the longest b/c i’ve always loved the way u write and ur characterization of tiffany / ariel, so when years ago nick told me that u were actually paying attention to the minana plot and threads i was so shook i nearly tripped over myself LMFAO. i’m happy that we actually started talking b/c of that tho!!! it’s so easy 2 write w/ u and i honestly have so much fun regardless if we’re just talking about our characters, getting carried away on dash or twitter, or hurting each other w/ headcanons!! ariel has become nana’s rock p much and w/o her i’m not sure how she would of fared her time w/ mino w/o her and their discussions!!! i hope that we can become closer in the future!!

to razel ( @rkcheri ) : hiya boo!!! ik we don’t rly talk anymore but i still wanted 2 mention u b/c u were one of my first friends in rk when i felt kinda lonely, and that was definitely one of the reasons i was able to stick around!! i loved writing w/ u b/c ur writing style was always so unique that i could actually point u out whenever we were in past rps together and it’s an honor 2 even write w/ u fjkalf;a. i’m sorry that sun is such a shitty friend and i’m looking forward 2 the day jihyun kicks her ass about not telling her about jinki b/c she deserves it LOL. but just, thank u!!!!

to amy ( @yienrk ) : are u surprised ur on here?? HAHA we don’t talk too much either but i do appreciate u checking up on me whenever i’m down and just generally being supportive and nice!!! also i’m in awe about how knowledgeable u are about idols in general ( i remember one of our first convos being about how sixteen came 2 be and the collapse of all of jype’s trainees and such ) and i love yien and nana’s supportive relationship too!! i can’t wait 2 see how they develop, and i hope 2 get closer 2 u in the future!! ; u ;

to eclipse girls ( @rkariel , @rkaudrey , @rkhaseul , @rkjennie , @rkyeri ) sun couldn’t of asked 2 debut w/ a better group of girls and i’m so glad that they harmonize w/ each other so well!! i’m excited 2 see what debuting brings for them!!  ♡ ♡ ♡

and a shoutout 2 snu crew too ( piper / hoonji, nanu, @rksang, @rktomu, @rksoohyun , @rkjinhwan94, @rkpcy ) : even tho ik majority of u probably won’t see this i’m still tagging and talking about y’all anyway!!! i have so much fun reminiscing w/ u guys whenever we can, and i’m happy that i’ve grown closer too u all as well!! i’m sorry i was such a shit admin back in the day, and what brought y’all together was bad circumstances, but i’m glad it’s something that we can all look back on and laugh at now. i miss being together w/ all of u at once but i hope y’all are doing okay!!!!  ♡ ♡ ♡

and naturally, the admods too!!! thank u guys for putting up w/ all my shit whenever i was in a slump or i sent in points late or fucked up the points ( honestly kyle u are such an angel for real LOL ), and for just keeping the rp in tip top shape!!! ur the back bone of rk and we couldn’t of made it this far w/ each and every one of u and ur contributions and dedication 2 the rp!!! i’m super proud of u guys and am proud 2 call u my admins!!!!  ♡

and ofc shoutout 2 everyone that i’ve ever plotted and threaded w/ in the past and present -- i’m super shit at replying 2 those in general so thank u for being patient w/ me even though i don’t deserve it. i don’t know how else 2 end this b/c i’m also super shit at ending things so uh.... happy fifth year anniversary rk!!! here’s to many more!!!

[iamverysmall-andihavenomoney]

hello love!! sorry for the very late response :(((

yes my day was a lil bad, but it wasn’t the worst I guess? I mean, I was more disappointed with myself—I just passed my calculus quiz, but I knew I could have done a lot better since I knew the material well, except I panicked because of the time restriction. It kind of sucks because I’m worried my calculus mark will drop my gpa and it’s stressful bc ✨uni admissions✨ but there’s nothing I can do except hope I do well on my test tmr! it’s actually part of why I responded so late; I had a quiz today (I got 90%!!) and was studying all morning :(( I only logged into tumblr just now, but my day has already brightened reading your message🥰💓💓 (also thank you for the offer babe, but I’m feeling better now🥺💓

yes yes more brainrot please!! warning, this paragraph is just me rambling lol okok anyways mmm yes to everything you wrote but also how they hug you!! like okok going into my personal life, I’m a small bean (fun fact! I’m 4’11 and a neurologist told me I’m never going to hit 5’0”😭) and the boys are over 6’0” like??? i have childhood friends (coincidentally, twin boys who have a similar build to the Miya twins) who are over 6’0” and when they hug me they just kinda fold over me and it’s just an all encompassing hug🥺🥺 I haven’t seen them in over a year tho bc corona so this is just coming from my memories lol but anyways!! going back to our boys, I headcanon that their hugs would be just like that but even more so?? bc romantic relationships🥰🥰 n e ways, imagine back hugs while you’re cooking dinner with them after a long day and they just kinda drape themselves on you like the world’s heaviest blanket and won’t let you go to cook until whatever is on the stove begins to burn, or back hugs while you’re cooking breakfast and they sleepily nuzzle into your neck and leave little pecks on your shoulder that’s exposed bc of how oversized their shirt is on you, or you come surprise them at practice and they just sprint over and full body hug you (lifting you up and spinning you while holding you as close to them as possible) and you can’t even complain about how sweaty they are bc you’re reminded of how genuinely they love you and just hugs🥺🥺 sorry for the long ramble haha I just have so much love for these boys aaa but also I’m glad my last brainrot helped provide inspo for you🥰

OKAY WAIT I thought I was done but love letters!! (this was originally in the same paragraph but it got really long so im making it a second one sorry babes) but omg imagine them handwriting you love letters just because and I say love letters but really I guess I mean notes? (I count those as love letters tho don’t clown me 🥺) some of them are like two sentences clowning you for forgetting your umbrella leaving your house(“remember to bring your umbrella next time because ya look like a drowned rat, sweetheart”) and some of them are little reminders to drink water/eat/sleep, but on some occasions, sometimes on your actual important dates (birthdays, anniversaries) but also sometimes randomly, you’ll get a romantic ass letter talking about all the reasons why they love you and it’s all the little things you do, the small mannerisms that make you, you, like (“I adore the way your curl into me and cling to me when you’re sleepy, as if my lap is the only place you ever want to be” and “the way your tongue always slips to the corner of your mouth when you concentrate is the cutest thing ever, baby” and “the way you do everything you can to support me makes me fall even further into love with you (and I’m never going to stop loving you)” and “I know you think I think you’re crazy for colour coding your document folders, but really, I love how passionate you are about your organization system”) and I’m just dying please i want this to happen in real life🥺🥺 and omgomgomg this would be the cutest thing buT THERES MORE !! imagine that they write you love letters, all throughout your relationship, but they don’t give them to you until either your anniversary or your wedding and it’s just a massive compilation of all the thoughts they’ve had of you throughout the years, your dates, and even the unofficial crushing phase 🥺🥺 ngl I swear that there’s at least one letter talking about how frustrating it is that “you’re so cute, I can’t even coneventrate at practice >:( it’s all your fault that kita-san is lecturing me but you’re cute so I guess it’s okay” like hbshh baby please😭

I’ll do my best not to get stressed out!! we’ll see how I do tho lol but thank you for your concern ily angel💓💓

you are forever the angel baby but yes we are gonna have to agree to disagree😤 yes I will try to, lovely! take care of yourself as well; make sure you drink lots of water, eat yummy food, and get more than enough sleep! I am proud of you, as are the boys, for everything that you’ve done today💓

this was quite a long message haha and I’m sorry for how long it took me to get back to you, but take care of yourself love!! stay safe and healthy, and I’ll talk to you soon💘

–☁️

hi, sweetheart! i’m so sorry for not responding sooner! i thought i had, but apparently i didn’t — i’m not sure, tumblr isn’t being nice, today 😔🖐

i honestly can’t imagine how stressful that must be for you, sweetheart. i’m sorry your quiz grade wasn’t what you wished, but i do hope things all work out for you! 💕 i have faith that you’ll do better on the next quiz!! and i’m really proud of you for getting a 90%!! good job!! i hope you did good on your quiz today (or yesterday?) as well! 🤍 i’m sorry i haven’t posted at all, but i do have some good fluff and comfort lined up! (and okay, but never be afraid to ask 🤍)

i’m small too! not as small as you, but i’m 5’1 ans in love with that idea 🥺🥺 more brainrot though! okay okay, so lemme raise you this: hugs after they haven’t seen you in a while. LIKE HEAR ME OUT. so the boys travel, all of the time, for volleyball and games. and the olympics isnt hosted in the same country two years in a row! so i imagine the boys going away for a few weeks for it, and as much as you wanted to be there, you’d told them you wouldn’t be able to, for job related purposes. and like they understand, but they wished you could be there, bc ofc ofc they want you cheering them on. so, they’re at the olympics and they’re getting ready to start, when they spot you standing next to Hajime (either next to the coaches or in a special spot, so you stood out.) and the biggest grin breaks out on their face when they see you waving and cheering for them. and whenever the game is over and they’re able to get to you, baby is sprinting. he catches you and just easily lifts you up in his arms, showering your face in kisses. yes, he’s sweating, yes, it’s gross, but you don’t care, because he looks like an excited puppy, because you’re here and you’re his. and now everyone is staring and everyone knows that you’re his and that’s never going to change. then, he brings you to his teammates, showing you off with a proud smile and they all have a knowing smile because this is not the first time he’s done this. but it’s sweet so they deal with it.

and omg yes!! that’s the cutest thing ever! i love that so much. 🥺🥺 istg im taking notes for drabbles later, baby. that is so cute!

but also like (one of my love languages is gifts) so like. the boys aren’t used to the random items you leave. in their locker, in their gym bag, in their hoodie/jacket, when you give it back to them. they don’t know how to react at first to the gifts, which range. sometimes it’s their favorite energy drinks, sometimes it’s a new game, sometimes a stuffed animal, jewelry, or something sentimental, it all just depends. sometimes they’ll give you a gift in return, but you also let them know that they don’t have to, it’s just your way of showing you love them, and you just genuinely enjoy giving them gifts.

you better not get to stressed out, sweets 😤😤 ilyt and i want you to be happy, not stressed! 💕

i’m really proud of you for all you’ve gotten through today! and tomorrow, i’ll still be proud, because you’re you, and that’s what matters! 🥺🥺 yoh be sure to take care too. which means water, some good food, and a smile 🤍 you’re doing great, love! keep it up!!

and no no, don’t apologize! you’re good, sweetheart! just keep taking care of yourself! have a good day, sweetheart! i’m proud, don’t forget that!!

[verratensduo]

25 days of Christmas drabbles/day 25 Christmas morning

This special challenge is by @cherrytrinkets and can be found here.

Here we are day 25 of 25. The final goal, the final destination, the ultimate end so to speak lol. Thank you so much @cherrytrinkets for making this sfw compatible so I had a challenge I would enjoy writing and not lose interest in halfway through. I feel so accomplished doing this. Last year I tried one and got to day nine, and being two days behind I called it off with only seven completed, and now sort of embarrassing drabbles hehe. But this year, all 25 on time. I feel so accomplished. This has been such a journey, thank you for giving me such a great journey. I have thoroughly enjoyed this and I do feel this has helped me get out there more for my writing, and helped me improve. Also I do have to thank you for the encouragement to tag you in this despite our fandoms being different, it helps with confidence.

Now to give some special thanks to friends that have supported me through this. @leonhart-ani thank you for liking all of my drabbles and leaving those lovely comments. They make coming to see the drabbles when I do log back on worth it.  Special thanks to @fuckingkirschtein for giving me inspiration early on and wanting to read these whole heartedly, it always makes me happy when you do see them. Another round of thanks belongs to @titansealgair and our rps for giving me inspiration so many times when it came to our somewhat rare pairings that I needed to drabble out, plus your early support really kept me going. Special thanks to @pastel-anime-lover for her friendship over the past few years and inspiration for several of my little drabbles. Thanks to @redeyessharplies also for reading my writing and truly loving it and reblogging it, that boosts confidence. Thanks to @fieryikkibott for showing interest as often as they could in my independent writing, it was nice to do. Thanks to @starrysparklesandshit for help and encouragement with me erenxmarco drabble. And finally special thanks to @therenyeager for showing me the charm in the ship I did five days ago. Also thanks to @fivefootab-i-tch for telling you were somewhat jealous but praising my work :)

Okay, enough with the sappy shit, and onto the show lol.

Drabble Challenge: Yes 25 days of Christmas drabbles Day: 25/25 Fandom: Attack on Titan Pairing: Eremin Setting: Modern

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Yes Armin I am sorry, my deployment got extended again.” Eren sighed rubbing behind his head as he spoke to his beloved over Skype. It was rare they got to do this over in Afghanistan, but sometimes the conditions were just right they could talk over the phone, or in the most ideal situations on Skype, this was an ideal situation. No impending threat of attacks, the fighting had ceased thanks to snow on the mountains keeping the Taliban at bay. It was a relief to finally just get this chance to talk, even if it seemed like it was insignificant to outsiders, those who were in the military and were military boyfriends like Armin knew every moment counted when they were over there.

“Again? But you missed Christmas in your first deployment.” Whine obvious in Armin’s voice, Eren felt a little pain over this. “I can’t exactly go to Jean and Mikasa’s either this time, we moved to far away.” Huffs and puffs, Eren knew Armin loved him, but the blond sure did have a temper sometimes, which could be worse than his. “I don’t want to spend my Christmas alone Eren. I really really don’t. It isn’t fair, why can’t someone else take it?” Of course that was only a natural reaction, especially since Eren and Armin had not yet been married and they could not adopt, and even if they had, he would still be receiving a similar scolding from his boyfriend because the kid would also want Eren to be home for such a special holiday.

“Well you’ll still have Titan there with you.” Eren’s attempt at reasoning of course was just him trying to sooth the beast before it really came out. Yes he knew their Great Dane was not the same company as he was, nor was it exactly the same without Eren being there, but he could at least try to make Armin a little bit happier. That seemed to get a momentary smile before Armin went back to being a sour puss.

“I do, but it’s not the same as you.” He huffed a bit again. He did look over to where the dog was sleeping after originally getting uber excited and all up in the webcam after hearing Eren’s voice coming out of the computer. Six months, that is how long it had been since he had last been home. Of course now there was some sort of order going on in the background. A sigh followed that, Armin knew exactly what such a blast meant.

“I’m sorry Armin, I have to go, love you.” Eren pressed his lips to his fingers and then to the webcam like he always did when he was saying goodbye after a video call.

“I know...I love you too.” Armin returned the gesture before exiting the call like he always did first. For him, lingering was just too sad and just not very pleasant at all. He did not like it, and Eren knew that.

“Eren this is really cruel you know that right?” Thomas’s voice cut through what had faded into silence while Eren sat there smirking about his little plan to surprise Armin in two days time  on Christmas morning.

“Yes, but it will be well worth it, besides, you and Mina already agreed to help me with this evil plan of mine. It’s a bit to late to back out now.”  Eren teased as he grabbed his travel bag up and started to head for their transport to home.

“I know, it just feels so wrong to be doing this. I mean, you saw how hurt he looked over that call.” The other male’s response was truthful, and Eren had indeed noticed it, but he thought it would make his surprise that much better.

“I know, but that will make this all even better in the end.” Confidence came from his voice as they boarded and started the long journey home. Technically they were supposed to sleep and be quite, but no one could do that, not even the superiors. The hangar full of marines buzzed with with excitement and speaking of seeing families, fiances, spouses, children, and boyfriends or girlfriends again after six months.

Eren spoke, but not often. Once they landed early on the morning of Christmas eve, he grabbed a ride with Thomas, Mina, and their daughter Lisa. Eren explained he just planned to surprise Armin to Lisa. later that day with Mina’s help he snuck to a jewelry store he placed an order in six months earlier and got Armin’s present.

The next morning, Christmas morning, he got into the back of the Wagner family car and laid down in the back with a bow on him. He felt them stop a block away from his house, and that is were he assumed Thomas got into the  back seat and ducked down before Mina resumed the drive to Eren and Armin’s place.

When she finally stopped Eren could definitely hear the barking, and a somewhat annoyed Armin telling Titan to calm down as Mina asked him to help her get something Eren asked her to bring over out of the back.

He smiled widely when the door opened and Armin saw him originally going quite as Mina started to record it.  Armin was quite for a few seconds before letting out a startled yelp at seeing a person in the back of Mina’s car, this was followed by a somewhat angry greeting.

“You fucking asshole!” Armin yelled and hit Eren as he laughed and pulled the blond into a hug. This was almost exactly what Eren had expected from his boyfriend upon this surprise return on Christmas day.

“This is just what I expected.” He explained to the camera with a laugh. “Armin, I promise you I did not come home on Christmas empty handed, and I probably should have done this a while ago.”

He slowly sank to a knee as he revealed a ring. “Armin you have been by side since we were kids, and even gave up your dreams of college just so I could follow my dream of being a marine, and just so I would be happy, now let me make you happy, and make me the luckiest man alive. What I am trying to say is, Armin Arlert, will you marry me?”

Armin had covered his mouth shocked that Eren was doing this here and now. He really had not expected any of this, and he really was having a good Christmas now.

“Oh my....yes....Yes Eren Yeager I will marry you!” A hug and kiss ensued. As Eren stood up and turned to Thomas and them, thanking them before they left to have their Christmas.

Then Eren turned and headed right for the door.

“Eren, are you sure you want to go in first? Titan will tackle you.” Armin was concerned about Eren being hurt after all he did in Afghanistan, just a regular fear one would have after Eren had been to war.

“I am hoping he’ll do that, I haven’t seen him in six months.” Eren laughed as he walked towards the impending tackle of doom, and Armin just shook his head with a laugh.

[junker-town]

Joe Ali makes his triumphant return to Secret Base

An interview with the newest member of Secret Base

We here at Secret Base are very excited to announce a new addition to the team: video producer/editor Joe Ali!!!! (air horn, air horn, air horn; confetti falls from sky; skateboarding dog with sunglasses rolls by)

Joe previously worked at SB Nation, but that was before my time. By way of introduction, I conducted a brief interview with Joe. Get to know him, along with me!

Clara: Hello Joe, first things first, how are you today?

Joe: I’m doing well. I recently heard someone say that they were doing “Covid well,” and I liked that response a lot. Not Covid well as in the person was Covid positive or anything, but like doing well despite all the bullshit that Covid has sadly brought with it.

Clara: I like that and may have to start using it myself. Can’t use it right after you though, so I’ll just say ... I’m fine. Alright, let’s get down to business: Who are your sports teams?

Joe: It’s funny that you ask that, because I’ve recently come to the realization that I don’t really root for teams, but more so comedic acts. My comedic acts involve all things Atlanta related. So the Braves, Hawks, Falcons and you can throw in UGA as well.

Clara: Was your loyalty to those comedy acts ever tested and how did you fare?

Joe: lol. I don’t think we have enough time to go through all of that, plus I don’t wanna subject you to my rage, but just know for whatever reason I keep coming back for more pain year after year.

Clara: Thank you for sharing, I know it can be tough to talk about. But this isn’t some fluff piece, this is a hard hitting get-to-know-you interview. Now, let’s get some questions about you personally, outside of sports and fandom: You can only eat one food for the rest of your life. What’s it gonna be?

Joe: Tacos, easy. There’s just so much variety. Al Pastor, Steak, Chicken, Fish. I had a fried avocado taco a few weeks back that absolutely slapped. Which I didn’t even know it was possible to fry an avocado. But anyways yeah. Tacos for sure

Clara: A genie grants you one wish. Do you ask the genie why he’s only giving you one, when it’s customary to grant three, or do you just let it go and be grateful for your one wish?

Joe: I consider myself an inquisitive person so I would def ask them what’s up with the other two wishes, but I wouldn’t press them too hard on it ya know? You can never get too greedy when genies pop up.

Clara: Smart. What would you wish for?

Joe: I would wish for the ability to actually not care when I say I don’t care about things. I’ll give you a quick example. Just this past weekend a certain football team idiotically blew a late point lead which involved said team just staring at a live ball go ten yards during an onside kick. While I watched it I said to myself, “Ah fuck this I don’t even care.” But in reality Clara, I do care. I care a little too much. So yeah, I just want the genie to make it stop.

Clara: I’m so sorry. This was a hypothetical and I can’t help you. I’m just gonna move on the the next q … You receive a compliment at work. One long dab, or several short dabs in succession?

Joe: It honestly depends on how the mood strikes. Some compliments call for a long, drawn-out dab with a strong finish and tight extension. Others call for short several dabs in succession. Either way no dab is ever the same.

Clara: How do you feel about nectarines?

Joe: I’m not even gonna lie, I had to google exactly what nectarines are cause I usually always get them confused with cuties, clementines, mandarins and all those other types of oranges that are probably all the same and I still don’t know the difference tbh. And turns out nectarines are a type of peach? Peaches are cool, so I guess I get down with nectarines.

Clara: Love the positive attitude, but be careful, nectarines are fickle. What shows are you watching these days?

Joe: I don’t wanna seem like I’m jumping on the bandwagon here cause I know i’m late, but I finished Watchmen a month ago and I couldn’t stop talking about it to everyone who had already seen it months ago. Simply just a phenomenal show. Other than that I’ve been bingeing Love Island. It’s just something about relationship drama layered with thick British accents that I can’t turn away from.

Clara: Are you the kind of guy who uses his email for a user name, or do you like to come up with something clever?

Joe: Oh I always try to come with something clever if possible. If we’re talking socials you gotta come with something special. (@mr.kangaroopockets on Instagram and Jack played me with the character limit so @mrkangaroopkts on twitter) But if I’m just logging in to pay my electricity bill or something I just go with my email as a user name. Can’t give all the sauce to Con Edison.

Clara: What about for a password, do you do, like, your pet’s name or your birthday or..?

Joe: I typically just go with my birthdate followed by my social security number and throw in a special character somewhere like a $ for some flair.

Clara: You’ve worked at SB Nation in the past, best memory from those times?

Joe: As corny as it sounds, just being in the office with the squad. I can’t even count how many times someone randomly popped up from their desk to say a joke, and next thing you know that dumbass joke sparked an idea which eventually led to a great video. But mostly just the dumbass jokes.

Clara: SB Nation used to celebrate things like a new hire with pizza. Since we’re all working from home and can’t share a pizza, what would you suggest we do instead?

Joe: Well I mean pizzas still cool. There’s a lot of dope places that deliver near me actually. I can just slide you my address after the interview and we can figure something out.

Clara: I’m afraid that’s all the time we have!

Well there you have it folks, the newest addition to Secret Base Producer/Editor Joe Ali!

While my primary motive for this interview, getting an Amazon Prime username and password was unsuccessful, and instead I ended up buying Joe $50 worth of pizza, I think the secondary motive for this interview, getting to know Joe, was a huge success and kinda makes it all worth it.

[cafephan]

the danny situation/explaining my hatred of april 1st

okay here’s a post i never thought i’d be typing up. i can count on one hand with fingers to spare, how many people know this story, and none of them are family members or anyone i have any form of contact with anymore. yet here i am sharing it with the internet, but i feel like i need to articulate it and note it down somewhere rather than still trying to repress it even years later when it’s clearly not working and recently it keeps coming to haunt me more than ever

just a pre-warning some of you are going to think i’m pathetic for this still affecting me and will think it’s no big deal and it’s not worth posting about but i think it’s important for myself to finally just write it all down, judge me if you want i’ve gotten enough of it before

so, i’m wildly unattractive, i don’t feel as if i have to prove that to anyone. and if highschool movies have taught us anything about the typical ugly girl, what is it? that they always end up crushing on the cute guy (obviously this is a cliche movie trope and doesn’t apply to real life except it did to me, very much so). 

i considered changing his name for the purpose of this, but no like what’s the point. his name was danny and he was in my form group for the duration of the five years of secondary school, meaning we saw each other every day. he was also in my maths group (shout out to other people in set three, forever average) and little old me just used to fawn over him and not so subtly stare at him the entire time. though, having no friends, nobody was there to call me out on it, which looking back is both a blessing and a curse. 

like i said, i’m wildly unattractive now, so take a moment to imagine me in 2008. puppy fat aplenty, the chubbiest cheeks you ever did see and resting bitch face (which still hasn’t left me). i was a mess. but i saw danny as some kind of god - which he definitely wasn’t, i hate myself for ever thinking that lmao - and though i was always terrified to try and strike up conversation, it never stopped me smiling whenever he looked my way (we were only one person apart in the register too which helped in assemblies) and the odd times he did the polite thing and smiled back i would practically melt on the spot. 

the not so subtle crushing continued for four years, which takes us to our second-to-last year of secondary school. for some reason i had been forced to do a resistant materials gcse because i was apparently in ‘the cream of the crop’ in my year group throughout the past years’ DT (design and technology) classes, and still to this day i have no fucking idea why they put me in there because all i did was use the sanding machine. but anyway, DT god danny was also on the course, and he noticed me struggling with literally every part of it that wasn’t done on computers and took to helping me with little tasks alongside his own projects and unsurprisingly i was internally screaming because oh my god our hands just brushed on the desk vice and other cringeworthy shit like that which i’ve probably used in an early fic or two. there’s nothing more really to note on that year just remember that he started being nice then. another thing worth saying is that this is the year i started to wear a bit of makeup and when i came to maths class one day with pale eyeshadow on, he said that he didn’t like it and so i never wore it again (you should never change yourself for anyone, if something makes you feel good then you keep doing it okay, you dont need anyone else’s validation, i just wish younger kirsten knew and believed that)

the year after is where things happen so it’s late february 2013, and i came home from my grandparents’ house to find a new message in my facebook inbox. without being dramatic because this literally happened, i swear my breath caught in my throat because danny had just messaged me saying ‘hey babe’ i remember it distinctly, and i squealed into a pillow. i replied immediately, then flopped back on my bed wondering why this had happened, there’s never been anything appealing about me either in appearance or personality, so the reason why was a mystery, but i was so wrapped up in being completely head over heels heart eyes i didn’t really give it a second thought, because he replied a second or two later with another pet name.

these casual messages with petnames continued all through march and stupidly i started saying petnames back (which in itself is a reason to repress this whole thing), and on march 31st we were chatting and suddenly he says ‘can we skype tomorrow?’ and i literally cried, i was so happy. i’d heard girls in school talking about skyping with boys and a small very petty part of me wanted to be one of them and i felt as if i just might have the chance. obviously i said yes and we both logged off.

aaaaaaaand around rolls april 1st. the lovely lovely holiday of april fools day. what a fucking delight. 

i’m sure you can see where this is going, right?

so i dressed up nice and waited for the skype call to come through, and when it does i desperately try to calm myself down, and look to the ground and take deep breaths. my blood ran cold when i heard multiple boys’ laughter coming from the other end of the call. there were six of them, including danny.

without even addressing i was there (obviously they knew i was there) they started reading out the messages that it turns out they had been taking turns to send to me from his account, and put on a really high pitched voice reading my responses. 

(sidenote: i’m genuinely crying right now as i write this i’m sorry if there’s any typos from now on my vision’s gone blurry)

when they finally finished - i don’t know why i didn’t end the fucking call myself, i was just frozen out of fear and embarrassment and mortification i guess - they all burst into laughter, danny laughing probably the loudest. i was crying, and i opened my mouth to say something, but i was crying too heavily. this caused them to laugh louder, and one of them said “and even now she can’t fucking say anything, freak.” they laugh again and one of danny’s friends leaned in close to the webcam. “did you honestly think he liked you?” he asked, and i stupidly nodded, because at some point i’d let myself believe it, again because i had no friends to tell me how stupid and dodgy the whole thing was. 

then his friend went back and danny himself leaned in close. “april fools” he said with a horrible grin and blew a kiss to the webcam before the call ended, and i. fucking. lost. it. 

still to this day, i don’t think i ever cried that much. i had panic attack after panic attack, i didn’t get any sleep, and nothing could calm me down. it still holds the top spot of worst night of my life, and trust me it’s had many many challengers for that title since.

the next day, because i shut myself off from the internet that night, i woke up to three new facebook messages. from three of his friends who were on the call with him. ‘happy april fools, sweetheart’ one of them said, ‘i can’t believe you thought you had any chance with him lol nice try darling’ said another, and the final read ‘just kill yourself already. babe’. all petnames ‘danny’ used at one point.

so that is the reason i beg you all to not send any form of prank on april fools day to me. because it brings back the memory of that. every april 1st i cry myself to sleep, and though i know you all mean well, any involvement with that holiday, no matter how small, sets me off. 

this incident is the reason i couldn’t accept compliments in the early days, long time followers will remember, i’m sure. this incident is the reason i’ve not been able to have crushes on anyone. i’ve never let myself because in the back of my mind i’m always worrying things will turn out the same way. if i start to feel anything for anyone i back away and leave them alone completely. this incident is the reason i struggle to form friendships. tied in with the bullying and the fact i had no friends to teach me what friendship was, naturally.

in case you were wondering, danny’s engaged now, he’s happy. i think i saw on facebook they’re trying for a baby. which is good for them, but i can’t help but feel like it’s not fair. he’s off playing happy families and living life whilst i’m still here suffering from a stupid fucking prank when he knew full well i was crushing on him.

it was only three years ago, so i suppose it’s understandable, and i’m in a much better place with myself now than i was which helps, but it’s something that’s really etched itself into my brain and is still affecting me to a certain degree. i feel like now i’ve typed it all up, i might be able to sleep easy, it does feel as if a huge weight has been lifted. plus, i think i’ve made allusions to this story before various times but none of you pried about it which i really appreciate, you’re all so incredibly lovely and i can’t thank you enough.

so there’s the danny story and the reason i hate april fools’ day.

if you read this far, then thank you, and if you think i’m overreacting still, you’re more than entitled to your opinion, i’ve been judged on many things before and what’s one more to add to the list by this point. 

i love you all very much and hope you have a great rest of your day and i’m sorry if this dampened anyone’s mood in any way. i hope this has given you a little more insight to me, i don’t know why it would’ve but who knows. sorry.

xx

[blackidyll]

@svengooliecat replied to your post “ramblings ramblings ramblings”:

this sounds like it would make for a fantastic fic...10/10 would read. My condolences on your loss, tho, and having to deal with the govt.

Thanks :) (and sorry for the late reply, I’ve been away this weekend without net access). 

TBH a big part of why I’m not actually writing the fic is because I don't want to do hours of research into funerals in Britain and the legalities of death and the governmental processes involved LOL and also because other than copious amounts of angst and worrying and a lot of introspection on the nature of their line of work a lot of the fic would just be random things that annoys Q to no end. Like: 

Q gets informed about Bond’s “death” by the police while some of his neighbours are around (because Q’s ex-royal navy now-personal security consultant boyfriend has been out on business for more than two weeks now and that flat must get lonely) and when he finally gets time to place a call to Moneypenny she assures him that there’s no confirmation that Bond’s actually dead (”It’s so hard to tell with him, so we draw no conclusions until we have a body”) but also they have to go head with killing Bond’s cover and so on because something clearly went wrong on their mission, and: 

Eve: so we’re going to have a funeral for closure Q: and what will we do when people ask to see James one last time? Because believe it or not, Eve, but he can be surprisingly charming when he wants to be and half our neighbours either love him or are in love with him.  Eve: so it’ll be a closed casket funeral  Q: And that means the so-called body is too mutilated for the public to see. Thank you, Eve, thank you so much I’m never getting a moment of peace now. 

And sure enough Q doesn’t get much of a moment alone after that news goes out. Friends and neighbours and almost everyone he and Bond have had contact with in this undercover mission have turned out in support. Whenever he’s gone for too long someone comes up to find him, and there’s rotation of people who volunteer to bring meals and stay overnight and try to help out with the whole process (”What do we do? When does the morgue release the body? What arrangements do we need to make? Paperwork?” “I don’t know, let’s Google it” and meanwhile Q is thinking I honestly don’t know either, because I’ve either ordered the extraction/clean up team to do their jobs and just attend the funerals afterwards or I’ve just directly hacked into the relevant agencies to check off all the right forms so he pulls off the distressed and confused bereaved boyfriend quite convincingly). But actually Q just wants like an hour to himself so he can get into Q-net and actually set his systems to find Bond, because he trusts in his Q Branch comms team but they’re not him and they don’t know Bond like Q does. And then Moneypenny reminds him that even if he had privacy he’s still undercover as a civilian, so Q can’t raise any flags doing the type of searches he’s used to, and certainly not without the system setup and network of connections he has in Q Branch or his home office. 

The frustration of not being able to do anything productive + the continued radio silence from Bond makes Q a bit of a loose canon the next couple of days, so Moneypenny and 0010 show up as Q’s “best friend from uni, and a fellow officer from James’s RN days” to help manage the situation, maintain Q’s cover but mostly to contain Q (because Q conducted some rather illegal operations very well indeed on his own before his recruitment to MI6).

Also greeting visitors and well-wishers is unexpectedly very tiring? Everyone keeps giving Q their condolences and he has no idea what to say in return, because even if this wasn’t fake what could he say? And they all want to reminisce about Bond, of course. And Q knows that it’s just a cover, that many of the stories they share are just things Bond or he have had to do to maintain their cover... but sometimes they’ll say things like how it was the way Bond was always looks at Q that clued them in that they were a couple, when they first moved into the flat, or how it was always so endearing to see them interacting, because somehow Bond always anticipates what Q needs before he says anything out loud, whether it’s passing Q the milk for his tea or fetching him a tool from his toolbox when Q is tinkering or gently steering him down the sidewalk when Q is too engrossed on his phone, and those, Q knows, aren’t part of the cover at all. 

And then, inevitably, there are the gossip-mongers, the curious busybodies who want to get all the juicy details (”but no really, how did he die again?” or “how did you feel when you got the news, it can’t have been pleasant at all” or “oh dear, the mortgage for this flat can’t be cheap, however will you manage now? Will you move out?”) and come by in groups and make little side remarks to each other just in Q’s hearing, and Q can’t help himself, his responses become politer and sweeter at each question until Moneypenny has to intercede when someone mentions, “well dear, you’re young yet, you’ll find someone else” because Q might not be a field agent and he’s undercover but he’s also very fond of tasers and has built them into all manner of common household items. 

Q gets two whole hours to himself after Moneypenny gets him out of that room, and while he’s busy hacking into MI5′s systems (because now M’s got a team watching to make sure he doesn’t use his own credentials to log into Q-net, damnit) he also thinks to himself that if he’s already on a short-fuse, he can’t imagine how someone who is truly grieving would cope with the whole situation, and because he’s painfully practical, makes a mental note to put contingencies in place so that when the inevitable happens, he doesn’t get blindsided by in all the minutiae and legalities involved. The both of them being attached to MI6 makes things both simpler and more complicated, because Q can cut through all manner of red tape easily, but the nature of their work means neither of their legal covers actually really exists so it’s not like their relationship will ever be official in the eyes of the law. 

(and because Q is aware that the world more or less runs on chaos and entropy, he also plans to customise contingencies for his own file, in case he’s the one that turns out dead first. He’s well aware of how Bond copes with the death of a loved one, especially one that falls in the line of duty). 

After it all, Q’s already erratic sleep pattern gets even more shot to hell, because Bond’s alive, they’ve left those cover identities behind them, but Q’s brain won’t turn off and he keeps getting flashbacks to the fake funeral whenever he closes his eyes, and it doesn’t make any sense because it wasn’t real, but he can’t stop thinking about it. So he just plows through work or shuts himself in his workshop until Bond drags him back into bed, and if they somehow always wake up with Q clinging so hard to Bond’s wrist or arm Bond never says a word, and from then on Bond goes on missions and even if 99% of his mission kit gets destroyed he somehow preserves his comms unit or phone, so he can always ping a well encrypted I’m alive signal at Q every couple of days. 

As you can see... I have quite a few headcanons about this random semi-AU 00Q verse haha. Thanks for letting me share them. 

[huggableyoungjae]

Good morning my sunshine (＾▽＾)I have to tell you several things :)) 1) Did you see yesterday the cheerleaders ???? Well I don't think JB was too pleased to see Youngjae enjoying&"approve" the act ???poor Jaebummie's heart lol 2) I just read @fuckyeahchoiyoungjae response about the SIN lyrics of JB's new song and after reading the translation I completely agree with her it is about forbidden relationship my poor 2jae babies but JB insists he will continue so I'm O.K. what do you think?(＾▽＾)XoXo

HI anony! 

Sorry this is so late :(

Answer to question 1: OMG!!! HOW DARE YOUNGJAE CHEAT ON ME JAEBUM BY ENJOYING THAT SHOW THAT REMINDS ME OF BOYS BEING AT A STRIP CLUB OR SOMETHING! and freaking out hahaha  /.\ youngjae! you are supposed to be innocent! *jackson’s voice* “what is innocent about you?” [x]

JB being a cheater..

Answer to question 2: asdfghjklShafiekah! [link]

Shafiekah already did a good way of interpreting the forbidden love because yes, it is very “forbidden” in Korea and “dangerous” ! 

we all know Jaebum’s song are ‘mature content’ haha and this well…

“Until we are wrecked babe” Like when you crashed the van and killed all your members except Jinyoungie? (reference to Got7′s Flight Log: Departure Trailer)

Sin by Defsoul:

“We have to stay up all night”  [When they were roommates, they would stay up all night until morning talking about their worries (and who knows what else)]

“I always think you” And you do, i mean if you miss someone, then you have to be filled with thoughts of them ^^ [link]

“i will clean everything up, except you” … I know you make Youngjae clean up his mess when he was your roommate haha but then again, wasn’t a reason you both didn’t want to show your room a second time because of the mess..? [link]

“My heart is ripped apart already,So much that i can’t recognize anymore,but i still look at you” {x X x X] the following gif always give a “hurtful vibe” like he is staring and has a longing and also sadness that he can’t hug? him! like!! his “heart is ripped apart already”!

“It’s not something that doesn’t make sense” you sure because i’m still confused Bummie haha

So like Shafiekah mentioned in her tag, yes i do think it’s a song about forbidden love and Jaebum craving Youngjae someone and wanting them close and taking risks despite the consequences, and even though he tries, he cannot pull through with being away or not wanting to be close to Youngjae someone :)

his possessive hand! stop it Bum! you are in public!

But i hope this was ok anony? sorry i did this half away haha

love you! good night! or good evening or morning