#very exhausted and overcome with human emotion

[slices-of-naranja]

do any of my friends know the love I carry in every word i say to them. When I add too many words, drag on a joke that’s over, when I message them despite the fact the conversation barely ended five minutes ago? every word i speak is an intimacy that’s laced with outright adoration for them as people and all the little details that make them who they are. Do you know I love you? Do y’all know how much of you I try to commit to memory? How much I try to make you smile? do y’all know the love I feel for you?

[starlightsuffered]

Darling, please give us a new small fic now, for my bedtime story🥺🙏

I’ll Take It All

A/n - sorry if this is late. I was tutoring for a while. I hope you can see this. This is sexual so maybe I should post another soft one tonight 🤷🏼 in case you don’t like this.

Info - hard dom, Paul dom, concubine, cnc, dub con, somnophilia, face fuck, piss kink, humping foot, aftercare, bathing, fingering, sleeping together, kinda crazy Paul, hand kink, degrading/praise,

Some humiliation kink

I was woken up harshly. I knew I should have been ready but this was the fifth night in a row. Since Paul had taken the water of life he got these urges. He was overcome with a wild dominance and just had to take.

He didn’t want Irulan to know of his dark desires and compulsions. He still did not fully trust her. Chani had left the day he declared himself emperor. He didn’t want to be weakened or distracted by his constant lust.

I had offered myself as a sort of sacrificial lamb. I was a bene gesserit who had sided with Paul’s reign. I was his concubine. It was ironic that I didn’t mind being a very fancy sex toy for him. However, Paul did lavish me with gifts and was increasingly thankful for what I let him do to me.

He especially appreciated that I had consented to his frequent somnophilic desires. He would often have dreams that troubled his mind. It would launch him into a sexual frenzy.

“On the floor bitch,” Paul snarled. I did as he said immediately.

He shoved his fingers in my mouth. I stared at him with my big doe eyes and sucked. He was cursing so fast I couldn’t make out what he said. He was yanked down his sleeping pants at the same time.

He snatched his fingers back. He didn’t cleaned his slobbery digits. Instead, he grabbed either side of my head. My mouth was still obediently open for him.

“That’s it,” he grunted in pleasure as he stuffed his huge cock deep down my throat. I did my best not to gag.

“Fucking good slut,” he groaned as he began to thrust in and out. My mouth was already drooling. A lethal smile covered his face. As I looked up at him, half hidden in shadows, he looked like a demon of hedonism.

“Sloppy princess,” he chuckled as he watched saliva fall from my mouth. He was forcing my head to bob on his dick.

“I bet that pussy is still puffy and leaky from our last round. You take it so well. You’re like a perfect little sex doll,” he ground out.

“Ohhhhh FUCK!” He was being as loud as he pleased. He tipped hid head back in bliss. His Adam’s apple bobbed. I sneakily moved my hand down to grind myself on it.

I let out a pitiful noise. I was sore from how often he’d been taken me. However, I knew he’d love to see tears prick my eyes.

“Fuck, I could use you until I wreck you,” he panted.

“Imagine it,” he said with dark sparkling eyes. “Bloated from cum, an aching pussy, just dripping with my seed and completely exhausted. No longer a human, just a used sex toy. Your nipples would be so swollen, and you’d have more bruises than skin.”

“Mmmmm,” I let out a needy sound. He smiled wider when he saw silver lining my eyes. A tear dribbled down my cheek.

“You’re doing good whore,” he gasped. Wet and euphoric sounds filled the room. Paul was grunting and growling. I nearly expected him to growl or something even more animalistic.

“Fuck, tight fucking throat. Taking my big hairy dick!” He snapped his hips as he babbled.

Without warning he whipped his cock from my mouth. I was left with swollen lips, bloodshot teary eyes, and a soaked pussy. I sniffled submissively as drool ran down my chin.

“P-Paul?” I asked.

He was ignoring me as he yanked on his cock. He was cursing again. His knees bent in pleasure and then he was cumming. He smirked disrespectfully as he covered my face in his semen. Over and over, pulse after pulse, rope after rope of cum covered me.

I felt such a mix of emotions. I was so humiliated I could cry, but so aroused I could cum. I was just his thing, his possession, and I loved it and blushed at the same time.

“Good fucking girl,” he murmured as he squeezed the rest of the cum from his tip.

“S-Sir, can I please take a bath?” I asked pitifully. He chucked me under the chin. He looked sweet for a moment, but I saw the predator underneath. He was still horny.

He jutted his foot forward. I mounted it, as I knew I had to. I did make a small protest from my swollen, sensitive, clit.

“Hump,” was all he said to me.

I began to move. It hurt, but also felt good. I let out small noises of pain with every movement. Paul wasn’t wanking, I didn’t know what was happening. He held his cock, but did no pumping.

“You’ll take whatever I give you won’t you princess?” He asked me in a deep voice.

“Yes sir,” I nodded.

“You promise it? You’re mine?”

“Yes emperor,” I swore.

With that solemn swear he began to piss. He was grunting and groaning in satisfaction as he drenched me. How did even this smell and feel good. He made me sopping. My hair, face, and sleep clothes were all wet.

“That’s my goooooood giiiiirl,” he slurred as if drunk off my submission.

Without hesitation he scooped me up. He carried me out the room. I saw the guards turn our way. I knew the smelt me and saw the Mrs so was. For some reason, this all heightened the burn in my core.

He brought me to the Offcial bathing rooms. He had his own of course but these were much more lavish. He cut off my clothes a pocket knife, promising to buy me more lavish ones.

He placed me in the warm bath. I was shocked he’d use this much water on me. Expensive and rare oils were used on me.

“You’re so good, you’re so special to me,” he whispered in my ear as he washed and then braided my hair. He was kissing my cheeks sweetly.

“Paul, please touch me,” I finally whispered. I didn’t even intend him to hear me.

“Touch you where angel?” He asked.

“Oh, um, I’m just, I’m desperate,” I moaned lightly.

“You never came did you?” He asked in a melancholy voice.

“No.”

“Let me help,” he offered lightly.

He reached down in the water. He didn’t touch my sensitive bundle. His long fingers pumped in my hole. I’d been so edged that I felt myself getting ready fast.

“I want to make you feel good,” he promised as he mouthed over my neck. He gently brushed my braid aside and some how the sweetness made me feel even more ready.

In seconds I was arching. I felt the cosmos ripple through me. I was pressed against his hand. My eyes had fluttered closed. I felt completely possessed by pleasure. The orgasm clutched me like no other. Feelings of gratification even reached my fucking teeth.

“Thank you for all you take,” he whispered to me when we were back in bed.

He was half asleep. I was sore, a bit embarrassed, but satisfied. I smiled in my dreams.

“I’ll take it all,” I whispered back.

@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming

[artist-issues]

I’m bored and I really enjoy your opinions on Disney, so I thought you might have something interesting to say to get my brain ticking. I came across a post on Frozen and I was like, “Ah, a perfect starting place for dropping you an ask.” I’ve never really been that bothered by Frozen and I don’t know what it is that I’m just not fond about. Maybe it’s that I dislike the characters? Maybe it’s that they didn’t really have any established rules for the way magic worked in that universe and thus had anything they wanted happening? Maybe it’s the twist villain? I don’t know, it’s probably just the characters that they tried to make so cool and girlboss!

Elsa is made out to be this awesome protagonist that is never in the wrong and that grates me. She has flaws, but the film doesn’t act like they’re flaws. She runs away out of fear and shame for not being able to control her powers, but then two seconds later she’s singing “Let It Go” and making giant ice castles and bringing snowmen to life?! And “Let It Go” is super annoying for the fact that Elsa starts off worried and upset (fair enough, she’s just ran away from her home, her kingdom, her sister whom she hasn’t seen in years, she lost control of her powers) but then immediately turns round and is like, “Actually, it’s not my fault and I’m fine as I am and I don’t need any of those responsibilities!” Which would be fine, but she also finishes the film with the same attitude!

Anna, too! Naive and optimistic and perhaps a little too trusting, she never realises that even if Han hadn’t turned out evil, Elsa had every right to be worried over their marriage. She never realises that it’s partly her fault for revealing Elsa’s powers (and she definitely doesn’t apologise). There’s a lot she doesn’t realise, and the only lesson she takes away from it all is that Christoff loves her instead of Han.

Oh my days, I’ve just realised how ridiculously long this has gotten, super sorry! Have a lovely day!

Let’s do this! For fun!

1. They don't need to establish exhaustive rules for how magic works in their world.

Red Riding Hood doesn't explain how the Big Bad Wolf can talk-it just explains that he can. Cinderella doesn't explain how Fairy Godmothers work, or why the spell should only last until midnight��it just explains that she casts one, and it does only last until midnight. Beauty & the Beast does not explain how, after The Beast has died, the "breaking of the curse" could bring him back to life. After Belle confesses her love, he should just go from dead beast to dead human, for all the explanation they give.

Beauty & the Beast also famously refuses to explain (explicitly) why all of the household were cursed, along with the castle and the Prince. But what it does explain is, "there's a curse, it was put in place because of a defect in the Prince's character, and there's a time limit on it's ability to be removed, which can only happen if the defect in his character is overcome."

The whole point of having magic in the story is just as a tool...to create a plot. You don't have to explain everything; you just have to explain what will affect the characters. So, Frozen says, very plainly in the beginning: "you can either be born with magical powers or cursed with them in this world, and trolls are the experts on how magical powers work. The way Elsa's specific magical powers work is, they're beautiful, but powerful, and they're tied to her emotions. Therefore, if her negative emotions control her, her negative emotions control those powers. Also, if you're struck with magical powers in the head, the effects can be removed with memory alteration. If you're struck with magical powers in the heart, the effects can only be removed by an act of True Love.

Also, here's an explanation of what counts as 'True Love." They actually do way more explaining than the average fairy tale. And they set you up really nicely to receive that explanation by having the opening scene be a song that describes Ice Magic as “beautiful/powerful/dangerous/cold/ice has a magic can't be controlled.” Etc.

If you were wondering what limits there are on Elsa's powers, and whether or not she can just make anything out of ice, and how it's possible for her to bring inanimate snow to life

—well, you're focusing on the wrong things for this kind of story.

It's not that important for a fairy tale like this one. In a superhero story, limitations on powers would be important. Because the point of a superhero story is, "how am I going to take selfless responsibility for what I'm able to do?" And if you don't know the boundaries on "what I'm able to do," then you can't communicate that point clearly. That's why we need to know that Superman can see through just about everything, but not lead. That's why you need to know that Elastigirl can't stretch in the cold. You can't know how to take responsibility for your abilities if you don't know what they are and are not.

But Elsa? The point of Elsa having powers is not as a metaphor for her unique skills. That's what it would be in a superhero movie.

Like, in superhero movies, Spidey's ability to stick to walls is supposed to be a reference to like, your ability to...l don't know, draw really well. How is Spidey going to use his ability to stick to walls for the good of others = how are you going to use your ability to draw for the good of others, because it's something special and unique to you, you have something to offer, are you going to use it selflessly, etc.

But for Elsa, that's not what it's about. Her powers are just a metaphor for how what's going on inside of her effects everyone around her, relationally. And it's still relatable. But not in a "skills" way. Just like all of us non-superpowered people: "if you let fear control you, you'll hurt everyone around you. But if you let love cast out fear, you'll love and be loved."

That's what's so good about this movie. When you look at it like that, you realize the powers aren’t the point.

Elsa isolates because she thinks that'll keep her from hurting everyone (fear controls her) but actually, by isolating, she's still hurting everyone-nobody in the kingdom gets to see their beloved ruler, and her sister is hurt, relationally, and feels unloved and shut-out, enough to trust the first scoundrel she meets-etc. See how the powers just make the story interesting, but they're not the point of the story? If Elsa's powers were replaced by "frantic outbursts of human temper" the story could be told in a lot of the same ways. But that's a post for another time.

So I don't think you disliked it because of the powers not being "established." "Whatever they wanted to have happen" did not happen, in the story. They laid out the rules that were relevant—“if fear controls you, it'll lead to great danger/but an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart."—and then they followed those rules in an interesting and consistent way.

2. The "twist" villain worked perfectly for the story.

A good villain is supposed to be the opposite of whatever your story's message is. Frozen's is, "Self-Sacrificial Love Casts Out Fear." Elsa is afraid she'll hurt everyone around her, and afraid that makes her unloveable-so she's a control freak over her circumstances. Anna is also afraid she's unloveable-simply because she's shut out and unknown-so she's always trying to control who she keeps in her life. Hans is both "unknown" and "controlling." He's "unknown" in two ways—1, nobody sees him in the shadows of his brothers in his own kingdom, and 2, nobody in Arendelle "knows" his true nature, especially not Anna. But the difference is, where our heroes don't like being unknown, Hans does, and uses it to his advantage, because he's also "controlling." But unlike our heroes, who learn that "control" is not the way to love, Hans is willing to do anything to stay in control. Which is, always, rooted in fear, too. Hans is just afraid he'll never get a throne. So. You see that he foils the two main characters perfectly.

But the main point of Hans is that he's not self-sacrificial, he's self-serving, which is the opposite of what the story claims "True Love" is.

Why's the "twist" part important? Because he uses the main characters' fears as a weapon to serve himself, and he couldn't have done that, for these two particular characters, by being anything but a liar. Anna is afraid she won't ever be loved, so he pretends to love her to get something for himself. Elsa is afraid she'll hurt everyone, so Hans pretends to be protecting everyone from her. And honestly, that's another core of the movie-love that is self-sacrificial, true love, can't be separated from truth. Anna can't really "truly love" Elsa in a way that HELPS Elsa feel loved if she doesn't know Elsa's flaws. Elsa can't "truly love" Anna if she's refusing to know Anna by always shutting her out. And Hans comes along and doesn't let himself be "truly known." Perfect.

So, the movie says "Self-Sacrificial Love Casts Out Fear" and Hans, the villain, says, "Self-Service Uses Fear As a Weapon."

So I don't think you disliked the "twist" villain. Because it wasn't just an empty "shock-jock, look how edgy we are, to make the Prince the bad guy" move. It was the right move, for this story and these characters.

3. I think your definition of "so cool" and "girlboss" might be different from what l understand those terms to mean, because none of the characters fit those descriptions.

Anna (as we understand her throughout the story) is introduced like this:

And she's constantly dropping stuff and getting into awkward social situations-and she basically makes zero correct decisions, for the entire adventure. Tries to fight wolves like a girlboss-and instead accidentally knocks her guide out of the sleigh and has to be thrown to safety while she ruins his livelihood. Tries to climb a cliff with zero experience-looks ridiculous and falls. Tries to talk her sister into lifting a curse and insists that she knows best because her sister would never hurt her-gets crippled, because her sister absolutely does hurt her, and totally fails. Tries to marry a handsome prince-really bad judgement of character, totally duped, basically would've died without help from the weakest and most mentally-confused character in the movie, Olaf. The only "girlboss" moment you could argue she had was punching Hans in the face at the end of the movie, and I would argue that that one moment, in the face of all her failures and humiliation throughout the movie, and in the face of him as a vile villain? That moment is okay.

Also, the whole way they pace that moment is still in-character for Anna. It's still like she's not doing the "dignified" thing. She delivers her little one liner, "the only frozen heart around here is you," and then turns around to walk away with her nose in the air, like she's

"above it all." Which frames the moment where she turns around and punches him like a joke. It frames that moment like it's a satisfying, but still "not decorous, not dignified," thing to do. It would've been "cool" and poorly received if Anna, the character who's always jumping into doing the emotional, awkward thing, had suddenly become the bigger person and risen above her hurt in that moment.

So instead, she punches him. And whatever. He deserved it, blah blah blah. The point is, even that moment isn’t supposed to be strictly “cool” or “girlboss.” It’s just supposed to be “in-character funny.”

See, usually a "girlboss" character knows exactly what the best thing to do is in a situation, and does it well. Or, she gets knocked down, but consistently gets back up and hits harder. Anna does not do any of those things. She keeps trying when she fails, yeah-but it's not because of an inner strength, it's because of an inner weakness. She keeps pushing because she's desperate, and insecure, not because she's awesome and never-say-die. Eventually, after Elsa strikes her and Hans betrays her, Anna does give up. She tells the snowman "we won't (come back.)" after Elsa strikes her. She tells Olaf she doesn't know what love is. It's not until she learns that lesson that anything she tries to do works—and she gives herself up to do it. And that's finally a moment of strength from her, not weakness. As for "cool"-gimme a break.

There's nothing "cool" about Anna. Anna's not good at anything except, at the very end, self-sacrificially standing in front of a sword and getting one punch in on a villain who's already disarmed, defeated and probably slightly concussed anyway. She's not supposed to be "cool" or "girlboss." She's supposed to be "Desperate to Love and Be Loved." And that's what she is, perfectly. "Desperate" is not a characteristic that fits the definition "girlboss" or "cool."

But maybe you just meant "Elsa is so cool and a girlboss." Okay, well, again, depends on what you mean by that. If you mean "having superpowers are cool" okay, well, are they? Is that what the movie is telling you? Because powers basically ruin all of Elsa's childhood and life until the last 3 minutes of the movie. You could be like "come on, she can make snow and ice monsters, glitter gowns, and an entire palace just by dancing. They totally tried to make her 'cool." That's like saying Simba's ability to eat bugs and belch and fight with Nala is "cool." She does all those things at her "Character in the WRONG" moment, in the story, just like Simba living in the Hakuna Matata jungle. Therefore the movie is not trying to tell you that Elsa is cool, it's trying to tell you that Elsa is wrong, but you can understand why she's wrong. You can understand why she feels triumphant for a moment-and then the movie shows you that triumph is misplaced.

I mean, she's taken out by her own falling chandelier. Every time she's confronted with a problem, she runs away. When she gets into "battles of wits," she says the wrong thing, or the shy, shut-down thing, not a girlboss one-liner that shuts the other person up. Elsa's not cool either. She doesn't have the answers, she doesn't save the day-she gets saved.

Both of these characters are desperate, open wounds-—they're needy and they're in the wrong, each in their own way, for the majority of the movie. They're weak, and they have to learn to find strength in love, for most of their story. There's nothing "girlboss" or "cool" about them.

I think maybe what some people make the mistake of is noticing the Frozen mania, and the fact that the two main characters are girls and one of them has superpowers and they other doesn't get with a Prince, and then they get the impression, from that, that the characters are "cool girlbosses." But like...that's like saying Dory from the first Finding Hemo movie is a girlboss. She's so totally not. She's a wreck. A funny, appealing, sometimes-relatable-human wreck. And a good character, but the hype doesn't change who she is, as a character. And who she is, like Anna and Elsa, is just a good character.

4. Elsa does not finish Let it Go with an "I'm Fine As I Am" attitude, and she doesn't finish the movie that way, either.

She finishes "Let it Go" with an "I'm fine up here, isolated from everyone," attitude. And then the movie very quickly proves her wrong by having Anna show up and reveal to her that no, actually, she is not fine up there, because the person she cares about most can still find her and be hurt by her, and the whole kingdom is still reeling from the problems she ran away from.

At the end of the movie the only thing I can guess you got the impression that she's "fine as she is" from was the fact that she's using her powers again.

But like. Elsa's whole problem was never her powers. She wasn't supposed to learn to stop using them. She was supposed to learn to stop living in fear. Instead, she was supposed to lean on love-love that sacrifices for her, flaws and dangerousness and all-and stop trying to control her image and what everyone knows about her.

Because in trying to control what everyone knows about her, she was controlling whether or not they loved her or treated her like a monster. And even running away and singing Let It Go was still an effort to control everything-by not being around people who could treat her like a monster or be hurt by her. Instead, accepting that she might hurt people because she can't always control everything, and trusting that they'll still love and forgive her, was her character arc.

She lives by faith in sacrificial love by the end, not by fear. That's the arc. She does that perfectly.

It was never, "I'm fine as I am." Because the point was never "there's* something wrong with me." It was, "I don't need to fear a lack of control, because true love covers what I can't control." That's all.

4. Anna does communicate to the audience that she's sorry and willing to understand the reasons behind Elsa's secrets.

The lesson Anna takes away from all of this is not "which guy loves me." It's "what is love?" And you know she's learned that because she demonstrates it. If Anna had died-frozen forever-or been cut down by Hans' sword, you realize that Elsa would never have been able to repay that gesture, right? But Anna still made that choice.

Even though it meant Elsa would never repay her. And the point is — excuse me, I know this is long enough, but I feel like you're missing out on something wonderful here—

Anna could have left Elsa to be killed and ridden off into the sunset with Kristoff.

They make it very clear that that is her goal when she stumbles onto the ice, free from the room Hans trapped her in. Elsa is no longer her motivation. She isn't looking for Elsa. She's not trying to get that love she's looked for, from Elsa, in that moment. She's trying to get it from Kristoff, not just for her emotional need-but for the "breaking of the curse" that's killing her in the moment. That whole scene where she realizes he loves her-truly loves her, because he fits the description Olaf gives-is in there to communicate to the audience that he could save her. He could give her what she needs.

And the reason that's important is that it proves that this is character development: when she chooses not to go to Kristoff, and to go to Elsa instead.

Because it's her, choosing to turn away from the person who could give her something (even if it is "love") and to turn toward the person who can't give her something (Elsa.) Who has repeatedly failed to give her something, for their entire lives.

Anna at the beginning of the movie would've run to Kristoff. That was the whole point of Hans, when it comes to Anna-he represents someone who can fulfill a need in Anna. But when Anna turns away from Kristoff and runs to save Elsa instead, Anna is demonstrating what she's learned —that love isn't about her own needs. It's putting someone else's needs before yours. She stands between Hans and Elsa, with the full expectation that she's not going to get anything out of it, not even a guarantee of E/sa's love in return. And her own needs will NOT get met if she puts Elsa's first.

And that's what she does. Whereas, at the beginning of the film, Anna would not have done that. Because that's not what she thinks love is. She hasn’t realized that yet.

She thinks love means closeness. And that does come with love. But that's not love. Love is, like Olaf says, putting someone else's needs before yours. But the whole movie, Anna is not working to put Elsa's needs before her own. She's working to change Elsa's mind, now that she knows the truth, so that she and Elsa can be "close again." She's climbing that mountain and arguing with Elsa, because she thinks that all that stood in their way before was this secret that's been uncovered. And sure, Anna has always been willing to “be there for” Elsa, but you have to see that Anna wanted that to come with Elsa being there for her, in return.

Which would be nice. But it's not true love. True love is being there for someone even when they refuse to be there for you. Because that's putting their needs before yours.

Thanks for the super long ask! That was fun! I hope you enjoyed reading as much as l enjoyed writing-I think sometimes we judge Frozen by the mania that followed, not the good quality that actually caused the mania, and deserved the mania, though. Anyway 😂

Guards! Take them away! Back to the theater with you! Watch the movie again!

[kjzlstuio]

Hello I saw your post, how about tsp headcanons or maybe anything about your au?

OH SHIT SOMEONE PERCIEVED MY AU

I feel like everyone that gets into tsp has an au for their own interpretation and story, so minee uhhhhh I had a plan to make a whole fic + illustration series for it, but I dont have the time or motivation so I'm cool with infodumping. Actually, getting it all down now would make it easier to release content for it, so win win !!

SUPER LONG INFODUMP INCOMING

My au is mostly a character exploration of Stanley and Narrator after years in isolation before it starts getting meta. From adjustment to their new lives, to the evolution of their relationship through insanity, and finally discovering the truth of their world to break free.

The first few chapters are dedicated to Stanley's adjustment from his real life to the game. Chapter 1 follows his daily routine, his commute, his entrance into the building, and suddenly, the silence of his branch. His job wasn't very interactive in the first place, inputting what he was told into spreadsheets or other, but simply pressing buttons is a gross simplification of it. The oddity of the situation hits him, and the narration begins. Truthfully, the Narrator's words align with his thoughts, so while he is uneasy, he does as told because he'd do the same. The Freedom Ending is full of revelations and emotions as he reflects on his life, corners of the office he hadn't seen. Stanley steps outside, the daylight grows brighter, and he resets. Following this is Stanley's spiral through emotions. He doubts the voice in his mind being his own, looks everywhere for clues about his situation, inputs into the pink screens and tests out the story slowly. From barely diverting to a room or two in anxious desperation, to completely opposing the Narrator in anger and spite, Stanley branches into every ending plus some. While it's true that his life had fallen into monotony, the Narrator mocks and berates him not only through dialogue, but through the contents of the world. The building became nothing but a maze of halls, his capabilities as a human limited to button-pressing, his ability to speak lost completely. It was as if The Stanley Parable was made solely to mock his existence. The Narrator and Stanley battle for control of the situation. Stanley reclaims his pride and autonomy through defiance and causing the Narrator suffering while the Narrator retaliates. However, the Narrator always seems to default to wanting a good ending for them both and fulfilling his goal of greatness and artistry. Stanley soon grows to realize this as their time loops progress, and with time, conflicted feelings for the Narrator give in to gratitude and solace in their isolation. (I remembered I had this RP with myself midway through writing, so this might be the best place to put it. Stanley's going through the wringer with his emotions, and at a point, you can get too exhausted to feel what once enveloped you so intensely. Between his anger and his gratitude, there was definitely points of exhaustion. Additionally, even as he "gave in" to the game, he was still exploring every inch, wondering about the true nature of their existence.)

Stanley never would have regained his ability to feel if not for the Narrator. If anything, he should be grateful that his lonely life was brought to someone's obsessive focus. He wouldn't have overcome his anxiety to adhere to instructions, wouldn't have dared explore outside what he was expressly given permission to. Wouldn't have felt so intensely with fear and wonder and anger and self-actualization. He had them to thank. And only them. For years. They only had each other. They couldn't help it that it naturally evolved into something more. Stanley's fear of the situation evolved to desperation once he realized the pattern. Desperation for an exit to insanity for what his life had suddenly become. Insanity to anger, focused onto the source of it all and the mockery of his life. Anger to understanding as the Narrator's intentions became clear to him. Understanding to gratitude. Gratitude to adoration. Adoration to obsession. So on. And the Narrator notices these changes. The Stanley Parable in their eyes isn't a mockery, but an artistic piece and aid dedicated to Stanley. For some reason, even unknown to them, they're very attached to Stanley from the start. While upset to see their piece ripped to shreds by Stanley's choices, in the end, Stanley grows bolder, more expressive, and the Narrator loves to see it. All of this development is slow and takes place within the decade before the next game installment. The Stanley Parable: Ultra Deluxe is introduced to Stanley in the midst of their odd relationship. Not quite a thing, not quite hidden from each other. They've grown into this routine of cycles, and by now, their endings and interactions with each other far outnumber those in the game. When the new content is added, Stanley doesn't know how to feel. The Narrator had been developing it behind the scenes with unknown outside help for a while. Stanley had long given up on interacting with any other sentient beings ever again, so the new content is overwhelming and scary in that sense. The new stimulation is welcome, but new characters? Even hints of an outside presence, seeing the meeting room covered in notes and speculation over collectibles from unseen employees freaks him out. The need for connection leads him to attaching to these inanimate objects, much like his bond with The Adventure Line. The way humans find comfort in one another through touch and interaction is the same way Stanley feels over the Bucket. Stanley eventually comes to realize that the unknown and overexaggerated connection he felt to it was true. The Bucket is a person. In fact, the Adventure Line is a person too. The Wife mannequin is a person. The Settings is a person. That Cardboard Baby was probably a person too. Who knows. Stanley pieces this together from outside reviews of the game, the story of Employee 432, and the Curator. The company he worked for is the same developer of The Stanley Parable and it ran experiments on its workers and environments in plain sight. The Stanley Parable is an interactive recording of the pocket dimension created by these experiments with Stanley's own experiences being put onto store shelves.

There's a whole subplot with the Settings gradually forming a bond with Stanley as well, and it comes to a head when Stanley attempts to escape with the Narrator. Stanley and the Narrator have a heart to heart about everything. The Narrator feigned ignorance to the Escape Pod Ending, but now knowing everything, Stanley wants to escape more than ever. Without him, this fake world can't exist, and all these people will be freed with them. The Narrator gives in with some time, final reviews of their work together, but for some reason, Stanley remains. The Settings wants to make their time endless, but the world rots without the Narrator there, and the Settings eventually has to let go. Stanley wakes up again in his office. He fears that the game isn't over, but stepping foot outside his door, he hears the rustling of objects, the voices of people, and he stumbles through the office, now back to its original form, with all his coworkers within it. It's awkward knowing they've seen so much of him, and over a decade in isolation has destroyed his ability to interact, so Stanley avoids them all in a mad search for the Narrator. When they finally lock eyes, Stanley doesn't know what to feel, but he feels his voice come out for the first time in forever, and he cries. Everyone sets off to reclaim the lives they've lost, wishing Stanley and the Narrator well as the two awkwardly return the gesture. The Narrator, for once, is at a loss for words, and they part ways before exchanging contact information. Stanley stays with his parent for some time, lost and haunted with his experiences, and the Narrator reclaims what he can of his old life, spending many days waiting by the ruins of their company building for anyone who might return. It doesn't take long for Stanley to come back. Living in the real world again is overwhelming, and he took it a day at a time with the help of his family. Coming back to find the Narrator, Stanley shares everything. While it isn't their fault, he can't just forgive them for everything. His feelings are torn all sorts of ways, and they settle with staying friends, there to help each other acclimate to life again with everyone else, but mostly each other. They make it official after some time. Even though it isn't the best decision. They can't let go of everything or each other, so it's a very codependent type of relationship despite how it looks on the outside.

There's a lot of details I left out obviously. There's a whole Curator and Mariella plot, even more details about Stanley and the Setting's dynamic, all of the secrets in the game that Stanley experiences and their corresponding emotional developments, more character exploration for the Narrator and more of how the world worked (The Narrator was actually an invisible floating mass btw), I COMPLETELY FORGOT THEIR IRL RELATIONSHIP BEFORE THE GAME JESUS. But yeah, that's the gist of it. I'll definitely make more content of it soon.

Phew

MS Paint Concepts

[mercillery]

ZOGRATIS SIBLINGS AS GUARDIAN ANGELS!

WARNINGS: GENDER NOT SPECIFIED + NOT PROOFREAD

NOTES: Don’t ask me how any of these psychos became guardian angels because I don’t know either. AU where they’re not so evil, I guess. Also, Lucius is not here because I got lazy lol.

ZENON ZOGRATIS

╰┈➤ ❝ Stay focused. Distractions lead to danger. ❞

First, I want to emphasize that Zenon takes his role as your guardian angel very seriously. He is dedicated, committed, and unwavering in his responsibilities. If, for any reason, you wish to contact him, you should be prepared for a significant challenge—reaching a Guardian Angel is no easy feat, especially one as elusive as Zenon. He has no desire to communicate with humans or anyone else. Simply go about your daily life and allow him to perform his duties as your guardian angel, and all will be well.

In the unlikely event that you manage to reach Zenon, be prepared for a less-than-welcoming reception—he won't greet you warmly or with any sugarcoated pleasantries. Your first instinct will likely be to thank him for his protection, but don’t expect a response; he’ll remain silent. Before you even have the chance to say anything further, he’ll interrupt with a firm reprimand for seeking him out. Although he's somewhat annoyed by your attempt to contact him, he doesn’t entirely blame you, understanding that humans are naturally curious. Nevertheless, he believes strongly that humans and angels should stick to their own responsibilities and not seek each other out. After this encounter, Zenon will make it virtually impossible for you to reach him again. Don’t worry, he will continue to serve as your Guardian Angel—just now, he’ll be even more elusive.

Obviously, as your guardian angel, Zenon protects you from a wide range of threats, from physical dangers to emotional and psychological challenges. Whenever you encounter moments of despair or doubt, you might experience a sudden surge of resilience—a silent encouragement urging you to persevere. Zenon is like that dedicated worker who, despite the exhaustion of a demanding 9-to-5 job, continues to give his all because of his unwavering commitment to his responsibilities. He tirelessly ensures your safety and well-being, and his dedication is unshakable. In short, you needn’t worry about much when it comes to him—what you should worry about are the challenges he gives you.

Zenon believes in teaching you through challenges, viewing them as essential opportunities for your growth. While he diligently protects you, there will be times when he doesn’t shield you from every difficulty. Instead, he ensures you have the strength and fortitude to overcome these obstacles. The challenges he sets before you are always within your capacity to handle. Once he sees you successfully overcoming a challenge, he’ll present you with a slightly tougher one—gradually fostering your independence without you even realizing it. This approach can sometimes be frustrating, but ultimately, it builds a deeper resilience within you, which is precisely his goal. Rest assured, Zenon won’t overwhelm you with a constant barrage of challenges. He gives you a challenge and then allows you ample time to rest and recharge. He’s firm, but not unreasonably so.

To conclude, Zenon would embody a shadowy yet unwavering presence in your life. His guardianship would be characterized by silent strength, steadfast protection, and a nuanced blend of distance. While he may never openly express his emotions, you will gradually come to understand that his presence, though often concealed, exerts a profound and enduring influence on your life. He cares for you deeply, albeit in his own subtle manner. With Zenon watching over you, you’re likely to lead a long and independent life, fortified by his silent guidance and support!

VANICA ZOGRATIS

╰┈➤ ❝ Push yourself to the limit and then go beyond it! ❞

Vanica would exhibit a fiercely protective nature toward you, willing to go to extreme lengths to ensure your safety. Her guardianship would be characterized by a constant, fiery passion, always on high alert and ready to spring into action at the slightest hint of danger. Interestingly, she has a unique way of warning you through subtle signs. For instance, imagine you're seconds away from tripping on a rock because you're too engrossed in your phone—Vanica, utilizing her angelic powers, might orchestrate a passing car to suddenly beep, startling you and averting the mishap. Alternatively, she could prompt a random notification on your phone, serving as a reminder to pay attention to your surroundings. You can only imagine the extent of her protective fervor if you were ever truly in a life-threatening situation…

Vanica's approach to guardianship would be refreshingly unconventional, injecting a whirlwind of activity into your life. She would urge you to embrace risks and actively seek out thrills, pushing you to step boldly outside your comfort zone. Challenges would be seen as exhilarating adventures, propelling you toward personal growth and self-discovery. She’s your hype woman—literally. With her as your guardian angel, you'd find yourself embarking on many new experiences and taking daring actions you might never have considered before. This journey of exploration would lead to a deeper understanding of yourself and a newfound confidence in facing the unknown! Afraid of heights or falling? You suddenly get the idea of going skydiving!—wonder who put that idea into your head…cough cough Vanica. Fearful of the ocean? Pack your bags for an aquatic adventure! Nervous about animals? A trip to the zoo might just become an opportunity to conquer those fears! And if you're shy or hesitant to socialize, Vanica would be there to nudge you out of your shell, whether you're fully on board or not. With that being said, you'd undoubtedly find yourself living a life filled with thrills, confidence, and endless adventures!

If you ever feel the desire to reach out to Vanica and connect with her, she would actually be thrilled about it! In fact, she hopes you seek her out. However, she won't make it easy for you to find her just yet—she relishes the opportunity to watch you put in effort and enjoys the adorable attempts you make to reach out to her. So, expect a few hurdles along the way before you finally get to meet her—but rest assured, the journey will be well worth it! Once you successfully navigate through the challenges and finally make contact with her, she'll be just as ecstatic as you are! She probably squeals with excitement when she sees that you've finally reached her. And when you do meet her, you'll likely spend hours chatting and getting to know each other. Vanica is generous with her time, allowing you to spend as much of it with her as you desire. Moreover, she won't make it difficult for you to reach her again in the future. After your lengthy conversation with Vanica, you can expect to leave feeling uplifted, inspired, and filled with happiness. Her presence will infuse you with courage and encouragement, empowering you to face whatever challenges lie ahead with newfound strength and determination.

Vanica’s energy is undeniably palpable, infusing your life with a vibrant urgency. As your guardian angel, she would invigorate you, inspiring you to tackle tasks with enthusiasm and vigor. This heightened energy might sometimes feel overwhelming, but it would also drive you to accomplish more than you ever thought possible. Thanks to the sudden bursts of motivation and energy she provides, you find yourself completing tasks with remarkable efficiency and zeal. Whether it's homework, job responsibilities, or household chores, these surges of energy ensure that you give your all, often leading to successful outcomes. This means that every success, no matter how small, becomes a cause for celebration. Vanica encourages you to revel in your victories and enjoy the rewards of your hard work! This could mean taking a relaxing nap with some lofi music playing in the background, going for a pleasant walk outside, or sitting down to watch your favorite show or movie while sipping your favorite drink. Her exuberant celebrations serve as a constant reminder to appreciate your achievements and to have fun along the way! With Vanica’s infectious energy and encouragement, you not only succeed but also learn to cherish the joy in every accomplishment.

In conclusion, having Vanica as your guardian angel would infuse your life with dynamism and unpredictability. Her unwavering presence would keep you alert and prepared to confront any challenges that come your way. This unpredictability would add an element of excitement and adventure to your life, ensuring that there is never a dull moment. With Vanica by your side, you can anticipate a life filled with thrilling adventures and endless excitement. While the journey may be unpredictable, one thing remains certain: Vanica's guidance will lead you through it all. And though the path may be winding, you can still expect to live a fulfilling life, reaching the average lifespan of a human—maybe a little less... but despite any twists and turns along the way, with Vanica as your guardian angel, it's sure to be a thrilling and enjoyable ride.

DANTE ZOGRATIS

╰┈➤ ❝ You are capable of greatness. Embrace it. ❞

Dante would undoubtedly embody a suave and charming demeanor in his role as your guardian angel. His approach would be characterized by an irresistible charisma and a knack for persuasion, utilizing his eloquence and charm to guide and safeguard you through the twists and turns of life. Picture him as a smooth-talking protector, effortlessly weaving words of comfort and encouragement to soothe whatever anxieties and uncertainties you carry. He has a unique ability to calm your fears with his calming words and confident demeanor. With Dante by your side, you can navigate life's challenges with grace and assurance, knowing that his suave charm and protective instincts will always be there to guide you through!

While we're delving into Dante's role as your guiding light, it's important to highlight his remarkable ability to boost your self-confidence. Dante firmly believes in your worth and potential, even if you can’t see them yourself, and he's committed to ensuring that you recognize and embrace these qualities within yourself. He absolutely refuses to let you succumb to feelings of inadequacy or insecurity, determined to empower you to stand out from the crowd. He also obviously believes that confidence is the key to unlocking one's full potential, a trait he believes is often lacking in today's world. And he's not about to let his cherished little human fall victim to the same lack of confidence that plagues so many others. No, that simply isn't his style. It’ll probably take you tons of discipline, patience, and dedication to reach the level of confidence Dante wants you to reach—but trust, the final results will have you and Dante very much pleased.

Now, what kinds of challenges would Dante present to you as your guardian angel? Given his focus on fostering your self-confidence, the challenges he offers would naturally revolve around building and reinforcing this crucial trait. He aims to instill in you a robust and enduring sense of confidence, ensuring you possess enough self-assurance to carry yourself with grace and inspire others. With that in mind, Dante's challenges would be designed to enhance your leadership abilities, maintain composure under pressure, and develop both your physical and mental resilience. For instance, imagine a scenario where you're suddenly thrust into leading a chaotic group project. Deadlines are looming, egos are clashing, and it falls upon you to steer the group toward success. Your challenge in this situation is to keep your cool, inspire teamwork, and guide everyone to the finish line without losing your sanity. Dante's aim here is to help you develop the grace and composure necessary to lead effectively under pressure. Or picture another challenge: you're thrown into the nerve-wracking world of public speaking, tasked with delivering a speech to a room full of intimidating and skeptical faces. Your challenge in this instance is to exude confidence, captivate the audience, and leave them hanging on your every word. Through such experiences, Dante seeks to push you out of your comfort zone, helping you develop the charisma and poise needed to command attention and respect.

If you desire to seek out Dante, he would find the notion quite intriguing. While he won't necessarily encourage you to pursue this endeavor, he also won't dissuade you. If you really want to try and find him, he's open to letting you give it a shot. However, like his siblings, he’ll make it a challenging task. The catch is that Dante's approach is a bit petty and playful. Imagine being tantalizingly close to reaching him, only to feel yourself pulled back just at the last moment. You’d probably find yourself on the brink of success numerous times, only to have Dante mischievously thwart your efforts. Picture him laughing at you as he watches you grow increasingly frustrated, your attempts coming so infuriatingly close but not quite hitting the mark. His teasing is a lot like Vanica's, deriving amusement from your earnest, almost desperate efforts to connect with him. Nevertheless, don't lose heart—after what feels like an eternity of near-misses, you eventually succeed in reaching him! Dante will be quite pleased to see that you persevered through the challenges he set before you. Once you finally connect with him, he will allow you to spend as much time as you want talking with him, but not indefinitely. It's not because he doesn’t enjoy your company or is tired of you, but rather because he wants you to continue living your normal human life and not get too caught up in celestial conversations. When your time with him concludes, you'll leave with a newfound wave of confidence—not only in yourself but also in your future and whatever challenges lie ahead. During your conversation, Dante likely imparted a powerful lecture on the far-reaching impact of confidence and how it can shape your destiny and the potential you have. This would leave you feeling immensely inspired, ready to face the world with a renewed sense of self-assurance and determination.

With Dante Zogratis as your guardian angel, your life would be profoundly enriched by his charismatic and supportive presence. His suave demeanor and eloquent guidance would soothe your anxieties and build your self-confidence, pushing you to realize your full potential. Through challenging scenarios designed to develop your resilience, leadership, and composure, Dante would ensure you grow stronger and more capable. His teasing yet demanding nature would keep you striving for excellence, teaching you perseverance and determination. His unwavering belief in your worth and potential would inspire you to face life's challenges with grace and assurance, knowing his protective instincts and charismatic support are always there to guide you.

[veetyuh]

CW: non-graphic mentions of CSAM, graphic descriptions of the mental health effects of viewing it, and rambling about antis in relation to it. If you've heard my shpiel on this, sorry in advance.

I used to do content moderation so I have seen way too much actually vile shit. CSAM included. And it is difficult to describe the gravity of what seeing that does to a normal person. But here's my best shot at what it did to me, anyway.

Imagine you're given a video from some nondescript, totally blank (firstname_numbers) account, and when you open it, you can't quite process what's happening on screen. It's not blurry or dark or otherwise obscured. It's very clear, but your brain won't allow you to accept it for a solid 30 seconds. Then, there's horror that sinks into your bones and makes your stomach turn. There's some sort of primal, lizard-brain fury mixed in — and perhaps you even fantasize over retaliating with things you didn't fancy yourself capable of. There's soul-crushing sorrow as you recall there's nothing you can do to help stop this, and all you can do is bear witness to this atrocity, then pathetically report it after the fact. The video automatically unmutes. The sounds are the worst part. If you've ever seen the brick video, this audio is similar in that it haunts you forever. It's overwhelming. You cycle between these emotions so quickly that they blend into each other, and become greater than the sum of their parts. It's a nuclear bomb set off inside your skull. You want to cry, punch a wall, and throw up. You do none of those things because you are too stunned to function. And then suddenly, there's numbness. Like a switch has turned off all the feelings in your brain. All of the unspeakable things you were feeling are gone in an instant.

Maybe you're a tougher nut to crack. Maybe the switch doesn't flip for you on the first video. So you let those emotions ride out until they've physically exhausted you. You pace and you marinate in the aftermath, feeling like you need to vent but knowing you can't. You can't even summarize what you saw without painting a picture so disturbing that it'll fuck up whoever is kind enough to listen to you. All you can do is turn to a loved one, explain that you saw something earth-shatteringly upsetting, and hope they can distract you. Maybe they express sympathy and give their best effort. Maybe you give your own best effort. Maybe you drink or use substances to get away from it, but it still festers in the back of your mind the entire time.

But that switch will flip for you, eventually. And when it does, it'll have you shitting bricks. It's like a hurricane stopping, only for you to realize you're in the eye. One moment you're feeling physically ill from the strength of your own negative emotions — the next, you can't feel anything. Your head feels different. Clearer, more room for thought. But then you move on to the next video, and the fresh horrors do nothing to you. And that's when the gravity of emotional dissociation sinks in. You can't feel anything. You could cut a man's throat and it would feel the same as tying your shoe. You have tapped into something that feels ancient. It's like you've regressed into a lower evolutionary life form incapable of emotion. Below cavemen. Humans aren't meant to experience something like this. It's the cold, unthinking indifference of a creature which could eat its own young without blinking.

But you use it for good. You use it to function when you otherwise can't, and overcome the task at hand. And it helps you tremendously as a content moderator. Eventually, you get so good at it that you can turn your emotions off at will, and do it before you even view your first video of the day.

It does not help you once you're done. While the metaphorical emotion switch can be turned off at will, turning it back on is a chore. It usually takes a while to wear off. Maybe an hour or two once you're done. But the more you do it, the harder it is to break out of it.

Imagine going back to your normal life while you're stuck in that mindset. You try to watch TV or play video games and none of it brings you any joy — like the worst, most suffocating depression. Except it isn't depression, and you have the will, the energy, and the definite need for something to take your mind off what you've seen, but nothing changes that listless straightjacket your brain is stuck in. There should be dread and panic taking root, because the accompanying thoughts are there. Is this your new normal? Will you ever feel anything again? But there is neither dread nor panic, because your body won't allow you to feel them. Not even chemical alteration gets it back on track, and it's only after you've nursed away the hangover the next morning that you can kindle a tiny spark of emotion, again. And through the searing headache, you wonder if fighting the good fight is truly worth the possibility of being stuck without feelings forever.

All of this to say, repeated CSAM exposure is anthrax. It makes you sick in ways you didn't even know were possible, and if you survive it, the experience will follow you forever. You're also not going to talk about it in public. Even vague descriptions of it are enough to seriously traumatize those who encounter it. It feels like a public safety hazard to talk about. Trigger warnings are not enough. A proper description would warrant a fucking consent form. That's something your therapist has to coax out of you like you're a Vietnam vet with war trauma.

What you DON'T do is repost it. Even if it's to argue or express anger/disgust. You don't scroll the tags looking for it, either. No one in their right fucking mind treats actual CSAM the way antis treat "cp" and that's what infuriates me the most about them. They water down the term the same way kids water down "gaslighting."

Drawings of fictional characters are not CSAM. If you can describe it publicly, if you can repost or respond to it and use it for rage bait, then it isn't CSAM. The people who do this are, very obviously, not experiencing any of the trauma which is involved with viewing real CSAM. They are acting on disgust impulses, and then they have the audacity to imply that their discomfort is tantamount to experiencing some of the most traumatizing material a person can view.

It isn't CSAM. They know that it isn't CSAM. Every sane, socialized human adult knows that it isn't CSAM and I'm exhausted with acting like it isn't incredibly offensive to call it that.

[codenameredkrystalmatrix]

Emotional Breakdowns- Pillarmen Headcannons

In your moments of vulnerability, they'd care for you in their distinct ways.

Santana

He's seen this coming a mile away. Your shoulders are tense, your breathing has gotten heavy, and you've been stomping up and down the place for the past two weeks. He's come to understand that killing problems doesn't exactly work in this time, so he waits until you're ready to face things.

He analyses quickly, and can easily find at least six possible approaches to the problem within one minute of hearing it. But those solutions often come before you're quite done working through your emotions. But Santana is nothing if not adaptable, so he gets much better with time. And if you just need a shoulder to cry on, he can do that too.

"As long as my presence helps, I will stay with you."

Wamuu

Did he act dishonourably to you as of late? He would never do that. He was sure there was no tension between you two directly, but there was still something wrong. He'll try to ease it out of you every minute you're alone together. If there was one thing he could tell about someone, it was when they were coiled to strike. It isn't healthy to stay like that for too long. It wears on weak and strong spirits alike.

At last, he offers training together- it's helpful to him, after all. But it doesn't go as well as it normally does. Your form is off- you can't focus-every punch becomes less coordinated. You eventually fall to the floor, a mess of sweat, tears and many different kinds of pain. He kneels, kissing the top of your head and kneading your shoulders. He doesn't understand why human interaction has to become so complicated (or how to best navigate it), but he can be there to see you through it. He and his all-encompassing hugs.

"You will overcome this, little warrior."

Esidisi

Your snappishness and irritation hurt him deeply. Where is his ray of sunshine? Why won't you talk to him? He tries so very hard to get you to open up, eyes brimming with confusion and pain. And when you see his genuine concern, you can't hold it back anymore. You pace, shout and go on righteous rants about the situation together. There's no need to explain what you're feeling. He understands, and doesn't feel for you, but with you.

If your final release needs to be through crying, he becomes the most affectionate of all. He'll wrap his arms around you and kiss every tear of yours away while his own flow down your skin. You've both...just about forgotten you needed to deal with the problem, but that will get done another day. In that moment, you're being cuddled as Esidisi does everything in his power to see that smile again.

"My light, let me bear your pain."

Kars

He gets irritated. You both came to the understanding that communication was needed for this to work. Why weren't you upholding your end of the bargain? But he restrains himself. Humans are delicate creatures- his love even more so. He can be patient.

Once you're ready to talk to him, he clears his entire schedule to ensure you're watched over by the only one he trusts to do so- himself. After letting you cry as much as you needed to, he sits with you and methodically runs through what comes to his mind. Some of his solutions are...less than ethical, to say the least. And it gets exhausting for you to think through them all. But as a way forward reveals itself, relief replaces the fatigue. At the end of things, he spoils you with the best gifts money can buy.

"I will not have you managing such things alone, beloved.

[imaginecolby]

Friends with Benefits || Part Eight - The First Few Months

"colby, honey, could you grab me another towel!" you called from the bathroom.

"yes, yes! just a sec." you heard him call back from the nursery. lucas unfortunately just had a huge blow out, and you immediately put him in the bath. colby quickly arrived in the bathroom, another towel in hand.

"thank you, sweet. someone decided he was going to pull his nice clean towel into the bath with him, so now it's soaked." you teased, shooting a look at lucas. he recognized your unserious expression and immediately started cackling. "don't you laugh at me, mister!" you jokingly scolded him, poking his belly. he started laughing louder, your heart swelling at the sound.

"i don't think i can ever punish him. he's too cute." you pouted at colby.

"he shit on your pants." colby said, pointing to your thigh and stifling a laugh.

"what else is new?" you shrugged. you finished lucas' bath, and colby took him to get dressed, allowing you to take a shower yourself. once you were done, and changed, you put a small load of laundry on before meeting the boys in the living room. colby was feeding him on the couch, and you sat down next to them, resting your head on colby's shoulder.

these last few months were a huge adjustment, but you and colby were making it happen. you fell into a quick routine that was comfortable for the both of you. it was lucky that you and colby were both able to take these first few months to focus on the baby and setting your routine, because you knew it was going to be much harder if either of you was having to go through it alone.

but lucas had been such a good baby. he ate and slept well, and he hadn't really kept you up all that much. he cried very infrequently, but when he did, he wailed. fortunately, you learned quickly that was only the case when he needed a clean diaper, and were alway quick to change him.

most of your nights were spent at home, with the exception of doctors appointments. you had friends coming over periodically, to see the baby and check on you and colby, which was always nice. the first night sam came over, it started out like any normal night, but ended up being quite emotional.

"god, i can't believe he's real. i had a hard time believing this when you first told me y/n was pregnant. but holding him here, he feels like a little doll." sam breathed out a laugh, lucas resting comfortably in his arms.

"yeah, we felt that when we first brought him home. but after about the zillionth diaper, the realness set in." colby laughed.

"this is definitely TMI, but i think the realness set in for me the first time he bit my nipple. that was unpleasant." you said, walking over to sam and handing him a bottle. sam began feeding him, and lucas quickly took the bottle into his mouth. "he's very attached."

"he gets that from me." colby teased, pulling you into the couch with him.

"okay, i know this is your house, but i'm right here." sam said, feigning nausea.

"sorry. our filters are broken, given the exhaustion." you laughed along with colby. sam just shook his head, turning his attention back to lucas in his arms. 

"i hope you show a bit more discretion than your parents." sam said to him. just then, you heard a small toot. "awe, c'mon dude." sam laughed. you all sat there silently as sam continued feeding lucas, and were suddenly overcome with emotion.

"i am so proud of you both. i know your relationship did not get off to the most normal start, and you had some shocking changes to it. but you stepped up and made it work. you've got such a great kid here and i know you're going to continue to raise him into a wonderful human."

"sam." you said with a pout, fighting tears.

"i mean it! especially with you." he said, turning his attention to colby. "we've grown up together, and getting to see my best friend grow into a father is amazing. i can't wait to watch you become the great dad you're destined to be. i konw you'ce always wanted a family, and i'm so glad that i get to be here with you while you're starting it."

"i love you, man." colby said to him. you got up to take lucas from sam, and stood back as he and colby shared a tight hug. you were so glad that sam was as supportive towards colby as he'd always been. and you were glad that he'd become such a great friend to you as well. you knew he was going to be a great uncle to your baby, and lucas was going to be so lucky to have sam by his side.

[thegamingcatmom]

Feral!Denalis be like-

Feral!sisters playing a game of cat(s) and mouse with you as they chase you through the woods, cackling like mad, encouraging you to "Keep going, little one~!", while simultaneously snarling and snapping their teeth at each other because "Mine!", and what makes this even worse is the fact they could probably snap your neck with their little finger at any time and they��re simply choosing not to (yet), because you look absolutely ravishing getting yourself all worked up—

"Oh my~" one of them purred at you. From where, you couldn´t locate. They seemed to be everywhere yet nowhere at once. It was terrifying.

It´s not like you´d stand the slightest of chances against a demon, let alone three. So, all that´s left to do is continue playing their game, because you dread to think about what might happen if you don´t.

As they finally got you cornered, you could only pray to god (and hope he´s willing to listen) that your end will be swift and painless—

"Aww~, you did so well, maličký!" and baring those sharp teeth at you, red eyes staring into your very soul, daring you to make another move, perhaps even hoping for it, judging by their glow. But—

...What?

Chiming laughter fills the air then, and your mind can´t quite grasp the fact that something so terrible was capable of producing something so lovely.

You also couldn´t bring yourself to feel insulted at their blatant mocking of you. You really had other things to worry about right now, eyes flitting between the three of them, wondering, dreading—

Was this yet another game?

"Katrina." the one positioned in the middle rumbled, prompting the woman in question to let out a snarl of her own, albeit more out of reflex apparently, as it seemed to just... cut off soon after it started. "Calm yourself. You more than had your fun today. Look at her, the poor thing~"

You couldn´t not notice the mocking undertone, a glint in those red eyes.

It was another game, then. Great.

Just as you were contemplating simply making a run for it, because even death seemed more appealing compared to this torture—

"Ah, ah~" you don´t make it very far though, as a rather hard body collides with yours—

Oof!

-effectively hindering you from making a grand escape. How were they so fast?

"Leaving so soon~?" the demon pouted. "Do you not wish to spend a little more time with us?" Slowly walking you backwards until your back hit the tree, keeping you hostage yet again.

There was no fighting it any longer - overcome with fear and utter exhaustion - you teared up. The woman slowly tilted her head to one side, burning eyes never leaving yours, as if waiting for it, fascinated by it, daring you to give in.

You felt exposed, overwhelmed, frustrated—

So, give in you did - hot tears were starting to run down your flushed cheeks, your face scrunched up, there was no way you could´ve contained the hiccup! that followed, even if you tried.

You must look rather pathetic, you know you do. You felt pathetic, bawling your eyes out in front of these... whatever they are, who seemed most content watching it all unfold, standing around like statues. The occasional sniffle being the only thing to break the eerie silence.

In fact, the one still trapping you against the tree seemed a bit too content, nearly leaning into you, one corner of those blood red lips just so turned up in a lopsided smile, and you swear something was vibrating.

More importantly though, those eyes. They were still boring into yours. You don´t think she´s even blinked once since this nightmare started. None of them did.

Another thing to add to the definitely-not-human pile.

It was mortifying, being put on the spot like this. By three women whose beauty seemed out of this world, at that. You never worked well under pressure, your emotions getting the better of you most times, causing you to make reckless decisions.

...Such as trying to beat the crap out of a supernatural being probably very much capable of throwing you all the way across this clearing with a flick of her wrist, all the while not giving a damn about the fact all you seem to be accomplishing is hurting yourself.

She had the decency to look mildly surprised by your outburst, at least - eyebrows shooting up, gaze falling down between your bodies to watch you hit her stomach, her sides, her hips, anywhere your hands could reach in your current predicament of being squished between two solids.

It seemed to amuse her, if that lofty snickering is anything to go by.

"Tsk tsk tsk... none of that now~" came the chiding reply, as if this She-Devil hadn´t wanted to provoke exactly that. One of your wrists was seized in a strong grip then, much stronger than considered normal for a woman of her build.

Two fingers were placed under your chin then, slowly lifting your head, demanding you look. "There you are..." the back of those same fingers slowly brushed up and down your cheek, collecting a few drops, taking a moment to inspect them - there´s that flicker of fascination yet again - before bringing them to her lips, the tip of a tongue peeking out to collect what was offered, eyes staying firmly locked on yours the whole time.

You were sweating, the heat in your cheeks increasing tenfold. The urge to avert your eyes had become almost unbearable, but you doubt she´d let you. You were crumbling and she knows it.

"Well... care to share, dear sister?" the third blonde thankfully interrupted, sounding rather exasperated over the fact things have come to a standstill ever since they´ve managed to corner you.

The sudden objection was enough to break the spell the sister had managed to put you under, your eyes naturally shifting towards its source, and you felt like you could finally breathe again.

...Only to nearly choke on that breath when you were met with a look that you could only describe as hungry.

You gulped.

The She-Devil noticed, of course she did. The warning rumble was back in full force, and you weren´t sure who it was directed at. For when your gaze returned to her, those red eyes were staring daggers at you, upper lip curled back slightly to reveal a set of pearl white teeth, seeming to elongate before your very eyes.

What in the world...?

You had your answer when, instead of tearing you limb from limb, her head whirled around to fix her sister with a look instead. You couldn´t quite see it from your position, but judging from the scoff it received in return, you reckoned it wasn´t all that pretty.

Once her head started turning your way again, you quickly shifted your gaze to meet hers, not wanting to agitate her further and actually risk getting mauled or something.

...Not quick enough to not catch the two blondes sharing a look, though. The one on the right appearing just as done as she sounded. The other, Katrina, seemed rather amused - one eyebrow lifted, an impish smile dancing on her lips.

You got the feeling this was a regular occurrence.

Those piercing eyes found yours again, and you started to wonder if that moment just now had simply been a figment of your imagination. Her face revealed nothing, except for the fact she seemed most pleased to find you already anticipating her, indeed.

...Looking a bit like a lovestruck teenager, actually.

It was unsettling.

"Hm..." she purred, hands coming up to grip your upper arms, slowly moving them up and down in an almost affectionate manner.

Her next words would seal your fate once and for all, of that you were certain.

"It seems my beloved sisters are just as unwilling to part from you just yet, little rabbit." Hand moving up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. "Well... what do you say~? Won´t you keep us company for a while longer?"

It wasn´t a question.

Your stomach dropped.

"Aww, why the long face, maličký? We don´t bite...~", Katrina mocked, making a show of looking like she actually cared.

"We´re gonna have so much fun together, you´ll see...~"

Yeah.

Fun.

[ceapa-mica]

Grand Admiral Thrawn - The SFW Alphabet 🦋

This is the counterpart to my NSFW alphabet. Thank you all so much for reading my works, that means so much to me! 🥹

Reader's gender is not mentioned.

Taglist: @bingbongooo @dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @ele-millennial-weirdo @enaelyork @jesslove23 @thrawnalani @thrawnsboots @twincesskorisoka @unmotivated-exhausted-author

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Thrawn is not a pda kinda person. He rather shows his affection in acts of service. Behind closed doors he has to get used to physical affection at first. It starts with his hand resting a bit longer on your back than usual, and you go from brief hugs to cuddling up with him in a matter of weeks. Thrawn finds that he enjoys holding you close to his heart.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Having Thrawn as your bestie comes with certain advantages. He would take you to art exhibitions, museums and concerts. He is a loyal friend to have, and he sees your potential. He will make sure you become the best version of yourself you can be. That does not only apply to your work, but for your personality too. Thrawn helps you overcome your insecurities and encourages you to try new things. Being friends with him makes you stronger in so many ways. Your friendship would probably start when you work under his command, that's how you meet, and he's intrigued by you from the very beginning.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Chiss in general are not big on showing physical affection. He will get used to it for you though, but only in private. If you share a bed both of you have a way better sleep when cuddled up together.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He never thought about settling down. It seemed impossible for him, given his rank and very busy lifestyle. Then he met you, and once you are in a relationship, it won’t take long for the thought of settling down to cross his mind for the first time. As for cooking and cleaning, there are droids for both tasks aboard the Chimera. That doesn't mean he can't do it himself, he just doesn't have to, and I don't picture him being a five star cook, just good enough to cook simple meals and not burning them. He could learn if he wants to though, if he set his mind to it, but he's way too busy with his job and all.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would bluntly say that he wants to end things and why. He keeps his emotions in check as usual. No drama with tears on his side.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He would have to be sure he's with the right person first. He's also very busy, means you should have spent enough time together before he even considers proposing to you.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Physically he's very gentle, he would never hurt you on purpose. Emotionally he can be blunt sometimes. He says what needs to be said and doesn't sugarcoat it. Apart from that, he always makes sure you feel loved and appreciated.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

After getting used to hugging you, he seeks out the warmth of your embrace more often than not in private. He's sensitive, feeling you against him with your scent filling his nose gives him an instant serotonin boost. He needs that in his otherwise dull Imperial life. Chiss have a higher body temperature than humans, therefore his hugs are always warm. He's likely taller than you, so when he hugs you, you feel an almost overwhelming feeling of safety and belonging, like you're wrapped in a warm blanket that smells so good.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Oh boy, it takes some time. You will probably be the one who has to say it first. I imagine Thrawn hasn’t had many partners and doesn't want to scare you off declaring his feelings for you. Once you tell him you love him he will either say it right back or needs some time to process your words first and then tells you when you least expect it. Please be patient with him. He's an autistic Chiss and putting his emotions into words can be a bit hard for him at times.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Anyone can get jealous and Thrawn is no exception. However, he doesn't express his jealousy with toxic behavior. He simply reminds you what he has to offer, spending as much extra time with you as his stressful job allows him to.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His lips are surprisingly soft and his kisses mostly turn from gentle to deep and passionate. He enjoys the taste of you on his tongue, whether from your mouth or your skin. He has all the sweet spots on your body memorized and vice versa. He loves when you tug on his hair while kissing him.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Nobody would expect the stoic Grand Admiral to be good with children, but you're in for a surprise. Thrawn listens to them, takes what they say seriously, and shows his softer side around them that only very few people have seen. He doesn't know how to play with them though. Games would have to be explained to him if the rules aren't obvious. He would actually be a good father.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

In the Imperial Navy you get up early. No problem for Thrawn since he doesn't require much sleep, but when you share a bed with him he would rather hold you and spoil you in bed until noon. He has important matters that require his attention though, so the typical morning starts with taking a shower together and a cup of caf before you start your day.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

A SFW night with him includes lots of cuddling, you reading a holonovel in bed or watching holodramas while he's working on his datapad until long after you've fallen asleep in his arms, and whispered words of affection in a mix of Basic and Cheunh. Thrawn is always the big spoon, no question.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Thrawn is a very private person. When it comes to himself, his heritage and his people, he is careful how much he reveals about it to others. It takes time to gain his trust, but gradually he opens up. Again, be patient with him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Thrawn is a very patient man. Patient and disciplined. Even if he gets angry, he's not someone who would yell or throw a temper tantrum. He can be angry and hide it behind that indifferent facade he keeps up. To be honest, the only thing that gets him riled up like that are Krennic’s antics. He finds that man insufferable.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Thrawn takes mental notes of everything. Tbh I think sometimes he doesn't even realize he's doing it. You are important to him, so he puts an extra effort into remembering what you like and dislike, and every bit of information he learns about you is filed away in his mind.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

It's the moment he realizes you sincerely care about him. Not just about him as a Grand Admiral, but as a person. You listen to him, even when he talks about art for hours, you are curious about him, and ask his opinion about things that don't involve military strategies. You see beyond his beneficial skill set and truly love him - Mitth’raw’nuruodo - a simple man who just happens to have an extraordinary mind.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

This man would protect you with his life. That's why he's reluctant about admitting his feelings to you at first, because it makes your relationship a thing. Being in a relationship with Thrawn puts a target on your back. To keep you safe he keeps you close, and your relationship must remain a secret until it's more serious.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Since Thrawn has everything memorized, you can expect him to never forget anniversaries, dates and tasks. You need to be flexible though, his job can get in the way last minute more often than not. Thrawn knows what you like and has an exquisite taste, so when you receive a gift from him it's either something you have wished for or something you didn't know you needed. Any gifts you receive are of practical or valuable nature - never anything trashy or too common.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He has trouble relaxing after work sometimes, which leads to him keeping some of that ‘I’m a Grand Admiral, I’m in charge’ mentality outside work. It's not getting toxic though, you just have to remind him when he's doing it. He will apologize and try to relax. In a relationship you are equal partners after all.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Thrawn keeps his looks impeccable during working hours. He has his routine, keeping up a neat appearance. Away from work in his quarters you won't find him in his pristine white uniform though. That's when he wears a black tank top, loose sweatpants, no shoes and his usually slicked-back hair is a bit disheveled. (You love running your hands through those soft blue-black strands)

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Look, until he met you Thrawn was convinced he didn't need anyone by his side. The only thing he missed was his home - the Chiss Ascendency. When he fell in love with you his feelings and priorities shifted. He tried everything not to get attached to you, and told himself these feelings would pass if he ignored them. Oh how wrong he was. You've come a long way since then and Thrawn has accepted that it's you who completes him. Without you by his side it feels like a part of himself is missing. He hates that feeling, especially on campaigns away from you.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Thrawn is very tidy. He will never leave a mess anywhere, and always puts objects back to where they belong. Same goes for his appearance of course. Lint on his white uniform is a no-no for him.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In general he dislikes disobedience by subordinates in his job since it can cause his plans to fail, and with it entire missions. It's quite obvious that he's against the Empire’s xenophobia. In a partner he would never accept someone who's xenophobic or finds him attractive just because he's an alien. Disloyalty and dishonesty are also a big turnoff for him.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

He prefers sleeping with you in his arms being the big spoon. He could listen to your heartbeat for hours, it helps him relax. Thrawn doesn’t require much sleep though.

I hope you enjoyed this little alphabet as much as I enjoyed writing it. 💙

Let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist if you aren't already!

[iwantescapism13]

Neuvillette had walked the halls and examined the place in its entirety. Palais Mermonia was quiet… save for his footsteps. The sound of his heeled boots echoed in the halls. He looked straight ahead, not even bothering to move his eyes around to search for any sort of presence. It was to be expected, he thought. After everything that had occurred, the human staff of Palais Mermonia must be creating a ruckus outside to celebrate their overcoming of the long-destined prophecy. The Melusines, on the other hand, must be out there helping any survivors. It was a massive victory for the people of Fontaine. But…

…that wasn’t until she had to take her life.

He found it as the most unjust punishment. Unfair. And certainly absurd. For the sins of Egeria, the successor had to be the one to make the ultimate sacrifice - to come up with a solution to protect her own people.

Was it just?

Neuvillette was not one whom anyone would call “fully attuned to one’s own emotions”, but he knew that he didn’t have to be to understand the unnamed sorrow that he felt once the Indemnitium-filled sword crashed down onto Foçalors. His hand reached for her, wanting to save her from a sentence he never agreed to and felt was unnecessary.

But it had to be done.

‘Did it?’ he questioned himself. ‘One sacrifice to save hundreds, thousands, millions. One sacrifice to deceive the Heavenly Principles. And Foçalors wasn’t even the one who committed the sin. Was it… worth it? And what about--’

His monologue was cut short by a sound of a thud - like someone had tripped and fell to the floor - and a voice cursing under their breath. It was then followed by a soft whimper. It seemed like whoever it was had hurt themselves on some type of wooden furniture. He only knew one such person that would react exactly that.

“Furina…?” he slowly made his presence known. His head went downwards as he saw the said girl kneeling down and massaging her knee.

“N-N-Neuvillette?!” Although in a little bit of discomfort from whatever injury she sustained, Furina stood up, dusted herself, and cleared her throat. “W-What are you still doing here? Shouldn’t you be rejoicing out there with the others now that the prophecy had come and gone?”

The mock trial that served to only get answers from her due to everyone’s desperation had definitely did a number on her. And yet, this child… this poor child… had not changed even a little. Her high-and-mighty posture and mannerism did not subside even after everything that she had gone through. He wondered whether he should be relieved.

“I could say the same thing to you.” he replied in respect to answering her questions.

“Well, I am… tired.” The tone at the beginning was not different from when she replied to him the first time. But the tone of the last word was something else. She looked downwards with a small smile on her face. “But I’m very glad to see that everyone in Fontaine is safe. Despite the prophecy being fulfilled, I mean. I guess… the trial that all of you had set up… was the very trial that I had been waiting for… all these years.”

He didn’t miss all of her words, even if the last sentence was muttered yet again. “‘Waiting for’?”

Furina smiled wistfully. Then proceeded to sigh heavily. “Forget it. It’s fine. Don’t mind me, I’m just exhausted.”

He had heard those words out of jest, out of childish whining, out of escaping certain duties. But not this time. He could feel the genuine exhaustion emanating from her sentence.

“Furina… you--”

“I’m sorry to cut this conversation short but I seriously couldn’t stress enough how tired I am right now. I’d like to rest, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. But before that, I’d like to ask you one thing…” He eyed the bunch of clothes that were scattered all around her bed, making a huge mess that he was sure would take about two Melusines to settle.

She seemed to understand the unworded question as she followed where his eyes were darting to. “Ah. It seems you’ve caught me. I’m… leaving Palais Mermonia.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Everyone’s perception of me has definitely changed. I do not wish to ruin it any further by continuing to pretend I’m special. I’m no one now. I don’t belong here.”

Neuvillette found it beyond absurd. “You belong here as much as every staff member, every Melusine; even as much as I, if not more. Nothing has truly changed. It is not necessary for you to vacate the premises just because you no longer bear the title of Archon.”

She laughed weakly. “You’re amusing, Monsieur Neuvillette. I’m very grateful for the offer to remain here but I can’t. I just… can’t.”

Emotions were not his strongest suit. He only knew how to present facts and evidence. And there was only one way he could try and explain.

“At the very least, allow me to tell you what had happened in the middle of the trial - before the All-Devouring Narwhal had appeared out of the Abyss.”

Furina’s facial expression slowly changed to that of interest. “More things happened before Mr. Tartaglia attacked the big whale thing?”

Neuvillette nodded once. “That is correct. I enlisted the help of Aether and Paimon to execute the gigantic beast.”

“Oh… I see.”

“But that is not what I want to tell you.”

“Well then, spit it out! You don’t need me to ask one by one--”

“It’s about Foçalors.”

Furina whipped her head around to look at him, her eyes went wide at the mention of the name. “W-What did you just say?!”

“I met her, Furina. Your divine self. After the sentencing was declared.”

“‘Mirror-me’...?” he heard her mutter under her breath.

“She had told me about your mission; that for 500 years, you must act like a god in order to fool the Heavenly Principles and save the people of Fontaine from the destined prophecy. And… for her to be able to sentence death upon herself.”

“W-What?! That… That can’t be! H-How could… how could mirror-me just…”

“I believe it was her entire plan all along. For you to keep up the act long enough to create a weapon to destroy the Hydro Throne… and… to bring back… what’s supposedly… rightfully mine.”

“‘Yours’? What are you talking about?”

“I am sure you are aware of my identity.”

Furina seemed to have caught on. “The Hydro Dragon Sovereign… of course…”

“But you are no longer bound by any duty. You are free now.”

“And the first thing I want to do is get out of here.”

“You still insist on leaving?”

“Neuvillette… I never really get to say this - and don’t you dare put this back to me in the future! - but I’m really grateful for everything you’ve done.”

Neuvillette was taken aback by her words.

“No. I…” He bowed in high respect, with his body bent 90-degrees. “I’m incredibly sorry… and… thank you very much.”

Furina was flustered and tried to pull him up. “S-Stop that! I… I don’t deserve to be praised for deceiving my people.”

Neuvillette didn’t budge, despite the desperate pulls from Furina to get him to stand up straight. “It was for the benefit of everyone. If no one is going to be grateful for your actions, then I will be on everyone’s behalf.”

“P-Please… stop that.” Slowly, Furina’s strength diminished. She held the side of her arm. “I… don’t want it.”

“Furina…?”

“In any case! I’ll be leaving Palais Mermonia and that’s that!” She turned to the pile of clothes on the floor and then to the bed, compiling a certain number on her arms and putting them in a luggage stowed at the side of the room. She zipped it shut. “I’m just gonna take these few clothes with me. As for the rest… you can give them away to whoever needs or wants them. If a Melusine can fit them, I don’t see why they shouldn’t flaunt it.”

“Furina--”

“Please don’t follow me. I… just want to be alone for now.”

[angryteapott]

I think one of the things I actually like about Fang Duobing's and Di Feisheng's relationships to Li Lianhua is that they don't get him all the way, but truly understand a specific part of him.

The part that Fang Duobing gets is they both have a genuine desire to do good. I'd also argue that both of their ideas of good can be hypocritical and inconsistent in similarly emotional ways. I think Li Lianhua becomes truly interested in Fang Duobing for the first time when he tries to get justice for those unrelated guards, and over and over it's shown they share each other's overall goals even when they're supposedly not working together. They share the same broad ideal.

But Fang Duobing has a very different view of their current world and what people owe each other- twice in the conversation at his shiniang's house Fang Duobing brushes off Li Lianhua's regret, and especially earlier in the story he sees the world as something that can easily be reverted back to righteousness through personal effort- the difference between becoming a detective and trying to change the institutions of the world by founding a court. Li Xiangyi saw the world's structure as something that needs correcting, and while he gives that up Li Lianhua sees how circumstances push people. This makes perfect sense; Li Lianhua was orphaned and treated unfairly, only rescued by others while Fang Duobing is a rich kid whose struggles (being sick) were overcome by personal effort (and expensive medicine, which he would take for granted) which rings as ableism to me as a plotline but im not disabled so idk

Di Feisheng gets this other half- he intimately knows how viscerally cruel and unfair the world is, and so he gets Li Xiangyi's need for excellence and control issues and Li Lianhua's sometimes cold eyed assessment of things. But he wasn't rescued nor allowed to save others so he sees that cruel world as something he can act honorably within but whose dog eat dog nature he can't change- be a swordsman not a hero.

Neither of them get how Li Lianhua's drive for good and his knowledge of the world's injustice create guilt for his what too bold actions (which FDB endorses) in a cruel world (which DFS sees as inevitable) resulted in, driving him to egotistically and self destructively attempt to "finish his business". They also didn't truly get his love of a simpler life, his exhaustion with pain and striving, and how he was ready to let go. In part because he never told them that in a way that wasn't tainted with guilt or lies my guy stop saying it in ur bs tone and just say how ur feeling i swear to

So neither of them really understood him fully, which is human especially when someone's lying to you 24/7 li lianhua im in ur walls. Understanding something fundamental about someone doesn't mean comprehending their every thought.

I think what makes Fang Duobing closer to understanding him in the end is that he was trying so hard to listen and understand Li Lianhua, constantly trying to meet him three quarters of the way there. That's why I'm obsessed with that conversation at Madam Qin's- Fang Duobing misunderstood and denied his regret once then twice, then said, fine, you're right. You should've tried harder in that relationship, and I should've tried harder in ours. We already said we're friends. I was wrong for the moment where I wasn't reaching out for you. But Li Lianhua never reached back.

[thewriterwhowritesnot]

Alucard Music Headcannons - Mitski

A/N: Trying to get back into my being in love with Alucard Groove, folks. Don't mind me ;).

I am a firm believer that Alucard would be a slut for Mitski's music. Here's a list of songs I feel he'd love and why:

Francis Forever - I feel like this song would speak to him in so many different ways. It reminds him of how young he feels in life and love no matter how old he gets. His feelings of loneliness and isolation from the living and the dead.

Crack Baby - It's the slow progression of the song. To him, it feels like descending into the thoughts he often does his best to ignore in his daily life. The thoughts of how unfulfilled he feels sometimes. The constant longing for more, for something that he can't always possess. He often doesn't know what he wants but he knows that he had it once and he knows that he wants it back.

I Bet On Losing Dogs - This song reminds him of how he feels as if he's in a hopeless cycle of giving his energy to things that will inevitably fall apart by his hand or the hands of another. He's tired and exhausted with pain, being wrong, and being let down but, he can never get himself to stop trying or to stop seeking. It's bittersweet but he keeps drinking from the cup because, without his humanity and his desire for love, he'll have no reason to continue on.

Once More To See You - This song reminds him of where he's been and who he's known and who he's loved. The secrecy of new love and the sweetness of intimacy. It reminds him of innocence in love and the desire for closeness.

Your Best American Girl - It's the REGRET, my dudes. The suffocating feeling of knowing there are so many ways he feels robbed by life and by the greed and pride of others and the mistakes he's made. This song encapsulates his feelings of wishing things were different and how maybe in love he wishes he could come with less baggage.

Pink In The Night - Let's be real...Alucard is a very intense man and when he falls for someone he falls HARD. So hard that they infiltrate all parts of his mind. This song expresses the feelings he gets when he loves someone and how it resonates in his bones. Overcome with emotion and the drug of love.

Washing Machine Heart - Reminds him of how often he's felt like the odd one out and how in his experience it was rare that he felt chosen in love. Meaning, he's so multifaceted and in relationships, there have been imbalances that have led him to feel unwanted or simply misunderstood and rejected in that. He's a soft-hearted strong individual and this affects him deeply

Two Slow Dancers - This definitely speaks to him in regard to his feelings about time and how it passes. He's immortal and the knowledge of that weighs on him in happy times (and sad ones) because of the knowing that there are many he will have to say goodbye to as he goes on. Many memories will remain longer than the people who were a part of them. This song represents his grief, his love, and his hatred of time and memory.

[akwolfgrl]

Chapter one Phoenix redemption

“Hope rises like a Phoenix from the ashes of shattered dreams”-S. A. Sachs

Sunset Shimmer unlocked her door with shaky hands. Her face was still damp, her breath ragged. She had to keep calm. She couldn't break down. Not here. Not again, too many people who would inevitably ask questions. Questions to which she wasn't sure if she had all the answers to. As nice as her neighbors were they wouldn't be able to help her in this situation.

Sunset stumbled inside, her legs felt weak and boneless. Shutting her door and dropping her bag at the foot of the steps to her loft bed, Sunset just wanted to change and get into bed, end this miserable day. She quickly shed her clothes as she walked to her small dresser that was under her loft bed. Sunset focused on each movement she made. Taking deep, steady breaths, she pulled the drawer open and took her purple pajamas out. She pulled the shirt on over her head and stepped into her pants, and pulled them up.

All the exhausted girl was trying to was to become numb. Numb to the pain and heartbreak she was currently in the midst of. Hoping that being numb would be better than the alternative. Sunet had some anger issues she didn’t care for. She climbed the steps to her bed, pausing at the at the framed photo of her friends. Overcome with rage Sunset let out a screech she shoved the picture off her nightstand. The glass shattering on impact with the floor below. For the third time that day, her knees hit the floor. Picking up the pieces of broken glass, she began sobbing anew. She cut her finger on a piece of the glass. She watched as the blood fell onto her floor. Were they ever her friends? Did they ever even care about her? She had just been their little pet to parade around. She clutched the glass in one hand, the bite of the glass a welcome change. The pain was different from the inertial churn in her gut. It would be easy to slice her wrist open and watch the rest of her blood drip, adding to the small puddle below.

“No!” Sunset growled, getting angry at her weakness.

Anger was power. Being numb would get her nowhere. Besides, since when did Sunset Shimmer ever take the easy way out? Dropping the piece of glass back on the pile, resisting the urge to fling it across the room, she wiped her face and picked up the rest of shattered picture and dumped it in the trash next to her nightstand were it belonged. Tomorrow was a brand new day. Tomorrow, she'd start to fight for a new life.

Sunset walked back down her steps and into her small bathroom to wash the blood from her hand, grabbing the disinfectant and the ace bandages. She better get this cleaned up. She hissed slightly at the sting from the disinfectant, then quickly wrapped her right hand in the bandage, pulling it tight. She was glad she practiced writing with both hands. She hadn’t been aware that humans had dominant hands, and being a unicorn, she had no need for a dominant hoof. By Celestia, she did miss levitation. She headed back to her bed. Today had been very long, and there was a giant roller coaster ride of emotions, and being numb was not the answer. Anger would carry her much further. Sunset quickly rolled over into a more comfortable spot and slept a, thankfully, dreamless sleep.

The next morning, Sunset awoke bright and early. Today was the start of her new life. First things first was to get ready for the day. She quickly headed down her steps and to her dresser below, grabbing her clothes before heading for the shower. Sunset turned the hot water on, looking at the mirror while the water warmed up.

“First, go see Principal Celestia and see about transferring out of Canterlot High. Second, do whatever necessary steps to leave the former school. Third, get through the school day with your chin held high. And fourth, make sure Princess Twilight doesn’t come through the portal. “ Sunset gave herself a nod in the mirror, glad to have a plan in motion.

Sunset stood under the searing hot water. She always preferred it hot enough to almost burn your skin off. It made her feel clean and alive. She was always partial to fire spells back in Equestria. She refused to think of it as home. Homesickness was unproductive and unhelpful. She would not go crawling back there, begging on her belly, pleading for a pardon. She was Sunset Shimmer, and she would fight tooth and nail for it. She needed to earn it. She finished washing up and relentlessly turned the shower off. Sunset toweled off and got dressed before starting on her makeup. Everything had to be just so. Sunset took her time to make sure her face was perfect . She stared on her fiery hair, brushing and curling it ever so slightly.

Sunset looked in the mirror, giving herself a quick pep talk. “You are Sunset Shimmer. You ruled that school and the students in it for years. You changed and worked hard to redeem yourself. You are strong. You will not let them bring you down. Redeemed does not mean push over. If any of them try to hurt you, you break them. “

She couldn’t show weakness. Teenagers were like sharks. If they smelled any weakness, it would be a bloodbath. Humans, especially teens, were quite vicious and violent. In all her years among them, Sunset still wasn’t quite at ease with all the overt violence. She had used to her advantage, of course, but it still hadn’t sat right with her. Sunset did one last check in the mirror before grabbing her stuff and heading out early. She wanted plenty of time to talk with principal Celestia. She locked her apartment door, grateful no one knew where she lived.

[straykittenidk]

Now what if ROY happens to see amber sick, what would he do according to your human hc?

Thank you for asking!

•Roy is actually very skilled when it comes to medicine, since in order to be a firefighter he also had to be certified in first aid. And while he isn't on the same level as a doctor like Amber, he still knows what to do when someone's sick or injured and how to handle the situation without panicking too much.

•Although Roy can control his emotions without too many problems, when it comes to Amber he can't help but feel worried about her, but he doesn't freak out or anything since, again, he knows what to do.

•Now, unlike Roy, Amber knows how to take care of herself. She knows when her sickness is serious and when it isn't.

•Amber knows when to ask for help, unlike Roy. Because while Amber also doesn't want to worry her friends, she also doesn't want to hide her sickness because she trusts her friends and thinks that they deserve to know what's happening with her.

•Despite this, Amber hates being seen as vulnerable, so if she can avoid telling her friends about her illness on some occasions, then she will do it. But only if it is a simple cough or something mild that isn't cause for concern.

•Still, when she does get really ill, Roy is the first one to reassure her that it's okay to be vulnerable sometimes and that it doesn't make her weak, because she is a very strong person. Amber always smiles and feels a little better after Roy says this, however she always says "you're one to talk" in a sarcastic way. They both have some problems with their self-confidence, and they're both working together to overcome them.

•Amber's only flaw when it comes to her health is overwork. Sometimes amber stays very late at the hospital, busy taking care of all her patients, since she's very attached to all of them. However this leads to her getting exhausted very easily.

•Sometimes Amber ends up fainting or feeling very very dizzy after a long day at the hospital, and when she's in this state she always calls for Roy to ask him if he could drive her home, since she doesn't want to risk falling asleep on the wheel and getting into an accident. Obviously, Roy always agrees and drives to the hospital in a matter of seconds and the whole car ride he keeps asking Amber if she's okay, how she's feeling, etc. He even asks if he needs to do her paperwork for her while she's resting, and sometimes Amber doesn't even decline the offer.

•Working in a hospital, it is very easy to catch an illness from a patient or from someone else, so sometimes it can happen that Amber gets infected with some sickness or she just has some weird symptoms.

•When Amber is sick, since she doesn't keep it a secret, her friends visit her sometimes when she's resting at home, bur Roy is the one that stays with her the longest.

•Amber always tries to reassure Roy that she can take care of herself perfectly fine, but Roy insists that he helps her because he feels like he owes her a lot after she saved his life so many times.

•However even a doctor has her weak moments, and even if Amber knows how to treat illnesses, it doesn't mean that she always has the strength to do so.

•If she has a bad fever Roy always does his best to make Amber feel better. He makes her tea, gives her medicine, and he also lies down on the bed with her and they both cuddle until Amber feels better.

•Amber told him to stop getting so close to her because she was afraid of getting Roy sick as well, but Roy didn't really care and didn't stop keeping her company this way, because he knew that it made Amber feel comforted and happy.

That's it! :3

[turtleybeachin]

Burnout in the Devildom: Solomon's Chapter

(re-post to share entire fic on tumblr)

Pairing: Solomon x GN MC Rating: G Word Count: 1.6k Tags: Fluff, Comfort, Platonic, Solomon's Cooking

You’ve been working hard in the Devildom. Classes are intense, especially when it feels like you’re having to play catch-up just to have basic understandings of things everyone else knows innately. Add to that living with seven avatars of sin who can’t go more than six hours without some sort of catastrophe, and somehow you’re always dragged into the middle of their chaos to sort things out and be their big sibling despite being the actual baby of the entire world?

You’re exhausted. The sort of exhaustion that does not just go away after a good night’s rest and an eye mask and a glass of human-world wine. The sort of exhaustion that starts sapping the life out of everything you do, everything you touch, until you feel like you’re just going through the motions and always one inconvenience away from a complete meltdown.

SOLOMON:

Sometimes he feels like you are the only one who truly understands him. The inverse is also true. Sometimes he believes he may be the only one who actually gets you.

In a world full of demons and sprinkled with angels, where magic is mundane and curses and hexes are as plentiful as weeds, it can be so easy to forget the simplicity of humanity. It can be dangerously simple to forget the magic in the magic.

You are a grounding force, reminding him to appreciate the awe of every moment and to stop taking a single day for granted.

But in this moment, you are also a reminder of the stark differences between humans and celestials and infernals. Humans deal with stress much differently, and life in the Devildom has been constant introductions of new varieties of stress.

It's a little astonishing, really. At least he came into this exchange program already self-sufficient and aware of the major players in this political sphere. He knew what he was getting into. You? You have been learning everything as you go, from the actual existence of demons and angels to the reality of magic to your place in this wider world.

You've been doing a fantastic job of it, MC; you roll with some very hard punches and never stay down for long. But it's clear that you're starting to feel it now. You're on your feet, as you always are, but your spirit is bruised. You're exhausted. You're showing all the human signs of stress and strain, physical and emotional and mental.

And you seem to think you have something to prove to everyone still. You think your humanity is a weakness to be overcome, when it is your most wonderful and genuine strength.

MC, you know you don't need to try to impress him, don't you? Nothing will ever make you any less impressive in his eyes.

So do him the honor and the privilege of letting him support you for a change. From one human sorcerer to another. From a friend to a friend. From your partner.

He knows your tendency to overthink the things you shouldn't (and your propensity to not think enough when you really should pause a beat), so he doesn't text or make a polite offer. He sweeps up beside you as you're walking off campus and smiles and asks if you trust him.

You know he's planning something-- he's always planning something-- but you've learned to roll with most of his magical punches well enough. So you say yes, because at the end of the day, you do. He keeps his secrets close, but you trust he has your best intentions in mind.

His hand slips into yours and the ground melts under your feet and you're falling. There's a shift of pressure and then he's gracefully settling on his feet on new ground beside you. (You really wish he'd give you better advance notice to brace for these things.)

You're in a library, but it's not one you recognize. There is light filtering in from windows that reveals you aren't in the Devildom right now. A table nearby has some books scattered across it and journals open to blank pages ready for notes. Two mugs of steaming tea and a plate of cookies sits in the middle of it all.

He's watching you take it in with a small smile, giving you a chance to puzzle things out for yourself. When you shoot him an expectant look, he tilts his head toward the table in invitation and waits for you to look over the subjects chosen for this surprise study session.

All of the books are about depression, anxiety, stress, burnout. There are books on neurodivergency from psychological and biological perspectives. No petty self-help books here, just research and realism. You look to him again, this time in wary understanding.

He gestures for you to have a seat. Leaning over your shoulder, he pulls a few books closer, and you can see they have little tabs sticking out to mark passages. 

There is no problem that cannot be solved, his charming apprentice; it is only a matter of reframing it and creating the answers you need. You see, sometimes you think that something different is something broken only because you do not understand what that difference actually means. 

Humans evolved to survive, and some of those evolutions branched off differently than others. That doesn't make those branches weaker. It makes them better suited for different situations. Anxious minds are more observant, and depressed minds are more realistic. Your only shortcoming is in not understanding how to best care for and protect your unique and beautiful mind.

He slides into the other chair, positioning it at your side but not too close, not crowding your studies. He folds his hands on an empty spot on the table, stretched between the two of you. After a moment's consideration, he gently catches one of your hands between his.

You are not weak because you have limits; you are not failing because you do not measure up to someone else's idea of success. 

There is no rush here; the books are yours, and this library is his own. While is it spelled to keep most everyone out, you are recognized and welcome any time you desire.

And should you want conversation between bursts of reading, he will always make time for you. After all, you can't possibly think he's lived this long and not wrestled with his own inner-demons, can you? He knows every person experiences things differently, and whether you just want to voice your thoughts aloud or debate the efficacy of a coping mechanism, he's your man.

But let's not fall too deep into the serious scholarly hole here! Who do you think he is, Lucifer? This isn't all work and no play, MC.

Sometimes, he admits with a broad grin, the real magic is just simple science. But a little alchemy and sorcery can make the journey more fun.

The only way out is through a problem, but who said you have to take the road most traveled by? Don't limit your beliefs and expectations by what you think is possible, dear apprentice. Together you can create new possibilities.

Why do you think he enjoys creating new potions and fiddling with charms and amulets, hm? Once you live a few hundred years, you get very tired of the same-old same-old. If you're this exhausted by life after a few decades, imagine how absolutely mind-numbing it gets after a few dozen. 

And of course you can start with the basics, the usual culprits. Is housework piling up because you're too exhausted to even think about doing laundry or washing dishes? He didn't live this long without learning some shortcuts for tedious chores.

Are the brothers driving you out of your mind with their neediness? It's both charming and alarming how seven avatars of sin could be so wild about one human. (Then again, it makes complete sense when that one human is you.) But he can teach you a multitude of spells, from forced boundaries to repel them to illusions to make you seem to be in multiple places simultaneously. 

Perhaps just some lighthearted fun, to fill your room with bubbles or change the color of your hair, to walk among stars or create your own symphonies and soundtracks. It's easy for him to forget the simple awe and joy of magic, but seeing that genuine smile on your face reminds him of the truly important things in life.

But think wilder, MC! Think broader! Ask pointless questions and make extravagant answers. Joy doesn't come by doing the bare minimum to survive, it comes by doing something new and exciting and absolutely unnecessary.

You don't need to create a bracelet that causes the wearer to speak only in bad puns, but it sure would be hilarious. You don't have to invent cursed socks that always slip down the wearer's heels, but it'd be entertaining. You aren't required to invent a potion that results in actual visual thought bubbles over the imbiber's head, but it'd make family dinners much more fun.

Name your wildest dreams, MC, and he'll help you learn how to make them reality.

While magic can't be used to change the way your mind works (such things are banned for good reason, and your mind is perfect the way it is), it can help you find new ways to cope and help you understand the root causes of your symptoms. It can give you avenues of discovery to find new purpose and meaning.

But most importantly, remember that you are not in it alone. Even in the Devildom, you do not have to face your humanity by yourself. 

Yes, your emotions and your pain can be a burden, but they are a burden worth sharing, a burden he wishes to help you manage. You are worth the effort, MC, and you are worth the struggle. 

Because that is the strength of humanity:  no matter the hardship, humans will band together and help one another keep standing and keep fighting. Not because it's the easy thing to do, but because it's the human thing to do. 

He had nearly forgotten his own humanity before he met you, but you've reminded him of how precious a gift it is. 

Now, please, have some cookies! He made them himself, and they're some of his best work if he does say so himself. They have a great little kick to them! .... Why are you making that face?