#verse; bloodied television

[screentimeoverlord]

@cannibalxroses

"Rosie my dear, good to see you once again." Vox exclaimed as he came in to the emporium, here a tiny bit early for their little picnic here in Cannibal Town. Fixing his tie just to make sure he was looking his best as he arrived in.

[duelbraids]

Death Rattle Dazzle Plot EXPLAINED (not clickbait)

Other title ideas: So None of the Picwick Triplets Did It?, Theatre Professional Unravels the Plot of In-Universe Musical for No Reason.

This is a list of my thoughts about the plot of the in universe musical Death Rattle Dazzle from Hulu's Only Murders in the Building. This will contain no spoilers for the plot of the show proper, or the mystery, but will spoil all the songs written and theorize about their placement in an actual, two act musical. It'll also reference a few of the gags from the final episode, and this metafiction article by Playbill, which was done in collaboration with OMITB. Maxine's in universe review is bloody funny, and it contains a Playbill, which reveals some plot details about the original play. This practically is fan fiction, I will admit, but its fun, damn it, and I did my research!

Death Rattle Dazzle has the distinction of being the adaption of what is called a "classic play" by Oliver (who, despite his kookiness, is clearly well versed in theatre.) Maxine's review says that "Anyone with more culture than a vanilla yogurt has probably encountered the play in some form—if not by starring in it at the local elementary school, then in the form of a spoof on television, in film, or by Cate Blanchett opening the Tonys in 2012." This is hilarious, basically making the play a straight play version of Little Shop of Horrors. Everyone's done it, especially regional or amateur companies.*

*By amateur, I do not mean bad or unpolished. Many local, amateur companies put on fantastic plays. I simply mean the definition of amateur used in theatre: unpaid.

To me, that means Death Rattle must be old enough to be in the public domain, or was willed to be public domain after the playwright's death, et cetera. We also meet the original director of the play in 3.10, though all we know is that his version was "Weirder." This adaptation element mostly comes up in the aesthetic changes from straight play to musical, because we do not see much of the original play. However it's clear to me that Oliver knows his chops, and knows how to reference original material (keeping 'Creature of the Night' as Act One's opener to replace the opening monologue, for instance.)

Now, I want to write a mock up of the plot, and then justify my decisions. I also had the idea to name random songs to fill out a 12 song tracklist - pretty short for a 2 Act Play, but I'm just doing this part for fun. Maybe they're the songs on the cast album. Made up songs are going to marked in Red.

Players The Detective The Nanny The Constable The Godmother The Father The Boatman The Pickwick Triplets Chorus

Act One

The Detective introduces the audience to the situation at hand - a murder that is driving him to madness. (Creature of the Night) The plot follows the Detective as he and the Constable begin to try and unravel the crime. The Constable admits he has had trouble keeping law and order, thus calling in the Detective. (Private Dick) The Chorus has a song about their own suspicions, including wondering about the parentage of the children (Is It You?) The investigative duo, along with the Chorus, lay out the details of the crime, woman murdered, only her triplets in the room, found tossed from the cliff with a rattle down her throat. (Death Rattle, DAZZLE!) We see more into the mental state of the Detective, who clearly is manic about this case. They go to interview The Godmother, who tells them about her final day with her best friend, casting blame on the "Children's Father," then the Nanny (Last Light / Only Duty) This leads into the Nanny at the top of the lighthouse, closing out the act as she expresses her devotion to the triplets. (Look for the Light)

Act Two

The Chorus brings us back in, summarizing the events of Act One using crab mating as a metaphor (Entr'acte / Nova Scotia Nightfall) The Father is questioned by the Detective, who reveals he knows the children are not his own, because he had been sleeping with the Godmother, not his own wife. However, he could not have killed her, as he was at his post all night, and his wife was inside. (Private Dick Reprise) The Boatman, who had been lurking since the beginning, is finally cornered by the Constable, and reveals that he not only ferried someone over the night of the murder, but couldn't see their face. (Deadest Night) Then, the Boatman tells the Constable that he saw no one enter or leave the lighthouse, which is where the Mother was killed. This leads to the Constable realizing he may have to charge one of the Pickwick Triplets to restore order to his island. He locks himself in the lighthouse, and tries to solve the crime. (Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It?) As the Detective enters with a copied key, the Constable realizes it must be he who murdered the Mother. The Detective admits this, though doesn't reveal why. (Confrontation, Dear Constable) The Nanny finds the Constable dead against the rocks, and challenges the Detective. He reveals that he is the father of the children, as well as confessing his guilt. The Nanny pushes him to his death, in order to protect herself. (For The Sake of a Child)

Okay, Justification Time.

The original play is described as "Agatha Christie" like, so casting suspicion on every character is basically a must. The actual placement of songs is based on how they were shown in the show, along with my own knowledge of theatre. Creature of the Night is a quintessential opening number: we start with our main character, before introducing every major character as they enter the stage. Look for the Light is a clear reference to Memory. A lullaby-like song to end the first act, the emotional core of the musical. Thus, similar to Cats, I structured the show to be mostly ensemble, framed by the two investigators. Which of the Pickwick Triplets Did It? made me immediately think of plot twist patter songs ( ala Your Fault ) that come in at the 11th hour. And, of course, ending on that spoken For the Sake of a Child is the right level of dramatic.

While some of the plot in between the lines is inferred from the show, a lot of it comes from that metafiction article I mentioned - there's a Playbill with descriptions of the characters, and dear god, did it give me a goldmine of ideas. Seriously, I highly recommend that article. Marketing that's actually fun and engages the viewer in the show? Wow, who could've thunk it.

My original mock up included more people dying, but decided to cut that, since we have no evidence for that aside from the Nanny referring to the Detective "Serial Killing" which could have been about him killing the Constable, since we know he dies. If you want to know, they would've been: The Godmother murdered at the end of Act One, then the Father murdered in Private Dick Reprise, though not revealed until Confrontation, Dear Constable. BTW, that song is basically the only one with any basis in the show's script, as we hear a confrontation between the Detective and the Constable as cross talk near the end of 3.10.

Some scattered thoughts:

Both Private Dick and Only Duty are songs that I expect would have Ironic Echoes later in the show. Private Dick originally introducing the charming Detective in a mostly positive light, and then in the second act, used to insinuate that the Father knows the Detective used his, uh, private dick elsewhere. Only Duty, meanwhile, would be used by the Godmother to say that a Nanny's love is only because it's her paid duty, as opposed to the Mother or Godmother, and of course, later we have A nanny's only duty is to the children.

Finally, I had to include a reference that crab people breeding bit they couldn't drop in the show, lol. In my head it's a dream ballet during the entr'acte, each of the crabs wearing the character's they represent headpiece, and of course, three eggs.

EDIT: I can't believe I didn't mention this, but I believe the motive of the Detective to be a simple matter of custody; he wants the triplets, and got into a fight with the Mother when he tried to take them, leading to him murdering her. Then, he returns to the island when called by the Constable, and plans to either kill everyone in his way of getting the triplets, or to accuse someone other than him, to get out of trouble.

[saltwaterbells]

About Me: Hiya! I’m Jude (it/its pronouns if you must, but preferably no pronouns)! Writer, Dungeons and Dragons fanatic, ex-obsessed with mythology. I’m a huge fan of Naddpod and Dimension 20 and also recently got VERY into The Silt Verses. Mostly, the stuff on my blog is whatever I’m thinking about at the moment, and occasionally my writings! Trying to get into that more, and removing the pressure to make the write-posting as aesthetic as I want it to be, because that means I’ll never post any of it. WIPS listed below the cut!

Hunger like Smoke:

Mariel Blackwater and Chandra Dayal return for the ninth season of Dayal Legacy, revisiting old missions and hauntings, joined by Ille Raefa and newcomer Elaine Richards.

All across the galaxy, television screens beam their faces. Mariel Blackwater: bloody, breathing, living weapon and vessel to the searing light of stars. Chandra Dayal: the glittering heir, muse and musician, a face that could launch an thousand ships, and burn them all too. Barely a hair apart from being two sides of the same coin, and the two that have managed to survive this long. 

With magic like theirs, the frothing gunfire fades to the public’s ears, their crimes made glossy through editing and military backing. But when old memories come calling, the blood on their hands not quite scrubbed off yet, a question emerges: how far have they gone to survive? What will the breaking point be?

(intro post coming soon)

Bathtub Gods:

In the isolated swamp town of Sithau, yet another girl goes missing. But this time, the effects ripple: the two remnants of a brittle, broken friendship return, still stained in grief. Delilah, the glittering, intoxicating beauty, the universal object of desire. Eleanor, the one with a future, who left it all behind them. And Irene, ever a ghost between them.

But it is not just the cruelty of men who consume in this poverty-stricken town, but the holy things lurking beneath dark water, and the holier things these once-friends have brought with them.

(intro post coming soon) Join the server i talk about a bunch of my writing in! Taglist: (I’m redoing my taglist! If anyone wants to be added, feel free to ask!)

[justforbooks]

With his shrewd eyes and his forks of corn-yellow hair, Julian Sands was a natural choice to play the valiant, romantic George Emerson, who snatches a kiss from Lucy Honeychurch (Helena Bonham Carter) in a Tuscan poppy field in A Room With a View (1985). “I wanted him to be real, not a two-dimensional minor screen god,” he said. “I liked him in his lighter, sexier moments, less so when he was brooding.”

Sands, who has died aged 65 while hiking in mountains in California, was dashing in that film, but he could also project a dandyish, effete or sinister quality. He was blessed with a mellifluous voice and a lean, youthful, fine-boned face, even if, as a child, his brothers insisted he resembled a horse. (He agreed.) In James Ivory’s film of EM Forster’s novel, he was pure heart-throb material. His participation in the notorious nude bathing scene was no impediment to the picture’s success.

Prior to that, he had played the journalist Jon Swain in The Killing Fields (1984), Roland Joffé’s drama about the bloody rise of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia. The picture marked the beginning of his friendship with his co-star John Malkovich. “I’d been cautioned by Roland to keep my distance from John because he was an unstable character,” Sands recalled. “And John had been told by Roland to stay away from me, because I was a refined, sensible person who didn’t want to be distracted. In fact, we bonded instantly.”

Malkovich directed Sands in a one-man show in which he read Harold Pinter’s poetry. First staged in 2011, the production had its origins in an occasion six years earlier when Pinter, suffering from oesophageal cancer, had asked Sands to read in his stead at a benefit event in St Stephen Walbrook church in the City of London. The writer “sat in the front row with his stone basilisk stare”, Sands recalled.

Not all his work was so highfalutin, and a good deal of it fell into the category of boisterous, campy fun. In Ken Russell’s Gothic (1986), he played the poet Shelley, who indulges in sex, drugs and séances with Lord Byron (Gabriel Byrne) and the future Mary Shelley (Natasha Richardson), and is prone to recite verse naked in thunderstorms.

In a similar vein but far less deranged was Impromptu (1991), which brought together other notable 19th-century figures including George Sand (Judy Davis) and Frederic Chopin (Hugh Grant). Sands, who played Franz Liszt, described it as “Carry On Composer”.

Born in Otley, West Yorkshire, he was raised in Leeds and Gargrave, near Skipton; he later described his childhood as “part conservative and part Huckleberry Finn”. His mother, Brenda, was a Tory councillor and leading light of the local amateur dramatic society, while his father, William, who left when Julian was three, was a soil analyst. Julian made his acting debut in a local pantomime at the age of eight.

At 13, he won a scholarship to Lord Wandsworth college, Hampshire. He moved to London to study at Central School of Speech and Drama, and while there became friends with Derek Jarman. He played the Devil in an extended promotional video that Jarman directed in 1979 for Marianne Faithfull’s album Broken English. The role had been intended for David Bowie, who dropped out at the eleventh hour. “You’re devilish,” Jarman told Sands. “You can play it.”

The actor’s first film appearance came in an adaptation of Peter Nichols’s stage comedy Privates on Parade (1983), starring John Cleese and Denis Quilley, from which his one line of dialogue was cut. There was more rotten luck when he won the lead in a new Tarzan movie, only for the financing to fall through. It was eventually filmed as Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984), with Christopher Lambert donning the hallowed loin-cloth.

On television, he starred with Anthony Hopkins in the miniseries A Married Man (1983). In Oxford Blues (1984), he was a rower butting heads with a Las Vegas parking attendant (Rob Lowe) who has tricked his way into a place at Oriel College. He was in The Doctor and the Devils (1985), inspired by the Burke and Hare case. “I had a roll in the hay with Twiggy which took about 15 takes,” he said.

Following A Room With a View, he agreed to play the lead in Ivory’s next Forster adaptation, Maurice (1987), before abruptly dropping out and fleeing to the US. In the process, he left behind his wife, the journalist Sarah Sands (nee Harvey), who described him as “restless” and “dramatic”, and their son, Henry. “I’m not the first person to create stability and security and then dismantle it even more effectively than I created it,” the actor said.

Once in America he took on an array of film parts. In Warlock (1989), he played the son of Satan, wreaking havoc in modern-day Los Angeles. Investing this pantomime villain with lip-smacking brio, he was likened by the Washington Post to a “hell-bent Peter Pan” and nominated for best actor in the Fangoria Chainsaw awards. He reprised the role in Warlock: The Armageddon (1993).

As an entomologist in Arachnophobia (1990), he was called upon to have as many as a hundred spiders crawling all over his face. Alternating these mainstream projects with arthouse ones, he played a diplomat in pre-war Poland in Krzysztof Zanussi’s Wherever You Are … (1988) and a monk in Night Sun (1990), the Taviani brothers’ adaptation of Tolstoy’s short story Father Sergius.

For the Canadian horror director David Cronenberg, he starred in the warped and witty Naked Lunch (1991), which disproved those who had declared William S Burroughs’s original novel unfilmable. Just as outré but less accomplished was Boxing Helena (1993), directed by Jennifer Lynch, daughter of David. Sands played a surgeon who keeps a woman captive by making her a quadruple amputee.

After starring as a young classics teacher in his friend Mike Figgis’s film of Terence Rattigan’s The Browning Version (1994), Sands worked a further six times with that director, appearing in his movies even when he was an unorthodox choice for the job in hand. One example was the part of a menacing Latvian pimp in Leaving Las Vegas (1996).

Later roles include a mysteriously unblemished Phantom in Dario Argento’s version of The Phantom of the Opera (1998), Louis XIV (whom Sands described as “the first supermodel”) in Joffé’s Vatel (2000), a crime kingpin named Snakehead in the Jackie Chan vehicle The Medallion (2003), a computer security wizard in the comic caper Ocean’s Thirteen (2007), a younger version of the businessman played by Christopher Plummer in David Fincher’s take on The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (2011) and a sadistic paedophile in the gruelling wartime odyssey The Painted Bird (2019).

On television, he was a Russian entrepreneur in the fifth season of 24 (2006) and the hero’s father, Jor-El, in two episodes of the Superman spin-off Smallville (2009). For the BBC, he played two very different actors in factually based one-off specials: first Laurence Olivier in Kenneth Tynan: In Praise of Hardcore (2005), then John Le Mesurier in We’re Doomed! The Dad’s Army Story (2015).

His recent work includes Benediction, Terence Davies’s haunting study of Siegfried Sassoon, and the thriller The Survivalist (both 2021), which found him back in the company of Malkovich. One of several titles still awaiting release is the drama Double Soul (2023) starring F Murray Abraham and Paz Vega.

Sands never stopped wandering, walking, running and climbing. “I am on a perpetual Grand Tour,” he said in 2000. Asked in 2018 about his eclectic career, he explained: “I was looking for something exotic, things that took me out of myself. I think I found myself a little boring.”

He was reported missing while out in the San Gabriel mountains, north of Los Angeles, in mid-January 2023. His remains were found in June.

In 1990 he married Evgenia Citkowitz. She survives him, along with their two daughters, Imogen and Natalya, and his son.

🔔 Julian Richard Morley Sands, actor, born 4 January 1958; died circa 13 January 2023

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

[einsteinsugly]

November 2003. An Unwelcome Blast, From The Past.

@hydesjackiespuddinpop, in my verse, bottle blonde distinctly reminds Donna of 1979. A year that is seldom talked about, in both the Forman and Hyde abodes. See more below, and in the tags. I remembered something. :)

*****

It's a quiet Thursday night in a near-wintry Wisconsin, with only the television blaring and the heater humming away. Until...

"They found the photos," Jackie hisses, furiously tapping Donna's shoulder, "1979."

The peace has suddenly been broken, as Donna dutifully dashes upstairs.

Jackie leads Donna to Eric's old bedroom, where Leah and Kate have apparently been snooping. A yellowing photo album is spread out on Eric's old bed, and they're fixated on a particular page. A photo of a blonde Donna, and a porn-mustached Hyde.

They glance up, only somewhat alarmed. Instead, Kate's notably disappointed, and Leah's strangely intrigued.

Not in a good way, though. Like she's watching Kelso trying to canoe down a hill, anticipating a bloody heap at the bottom.

But Kate surprisingly pipes up first, as Leah further examines the wreckage, tracing the porn mustache with her pinky finger.

A morose expression is still plastered on Kate's bewildered face. "I can't believe you were blonde, even if it was only for a year. You always told me to be true to yourself, even if Aunt Jackie called you Raggedy Ann or Little Orphan Annie."

Donna forcefully chuckles, swallowing her immense shame. The memories come flooding back, and she notably winces. "It was a tough time. I was trying to figure out everything, and it was the only thing..."

"You could control?" Leah blurts, and Donna uncomfortably nods. "See, I think I'm being totally reasonable. You did it too."

"A tattoo is permanent..." Donna dangerously combats, before reluctantly wavering. "Usually."

Leah loudly scoffs, with immense pride. Hopping off the bed, as Jackie ushers them both out of the room. "And I think my belly button ring is totally reasonable..."

"Your thong is showing," Kate hisses, "It looks like black dental floss."

Leah feigns ignorance, surprised that Jackie and Donna have failed to respond. "What thong..."

Jackie shuts the door, as soon as they reluctantly depart. They wait several seconds, for both of the kids to be truly out of earshot.

Donna lowers her voice, to a mere whisper. "Thank God they didn't ask anything else."

"See? I told you it was a good idea to put them through a shredder," Jackie quietly proclaims, "That's what I did with the two pictures of me and Fez."

[vipier]

CHARACTER INTERVIEW.

BASICS.

NAME  :    tristan patel. NICKNAME/S  :    tris. ALIASES  :    many. AGE  :    27 - 37, verse dependent. SPECIES  :  human - ish.

PERSONAL.

MORALITY  :    lawful  /  chaotic  /  good  /  neutral  /  evil  /  true   RELIGION  :    atheist. SINS  :   greed  /  gluttony  /  sloth  /  lust  /  pride  /  envy  /  wrath VIRTUES  :  chastity  /  charity  /  diligence  /  humility  /  kindness  /  patience  /  justice KNOWN LANGUAGES  :    many.  tristan has always had a pronounced talent for languages and has picked up several through his training when he was young and on through his adult years.  the more languages he picks up, the more he’s able to pick up on others organically just by listening for the similarities and working out the differences based on context.  his first languages were english and urdu, both of which he spoke as a child prior to training  -  and is mostly all that remains of his memories of childhood before the menagerie.  since then, he’s picked up french, spanish, italian, portuguese, polish, russian, german, standard and egyptian arabic, hindi, and korean at various levels of fluency  -  but is proficient enough in all to hold decent conversation. SECRETS  :    too many to count.  nobody truly knows tristan patel.

PHYSICAL.

BUILD  :  scrawny  /  bony  /  slender  /  fit  /  athletic  /  curvy  /  herculean  /  pudgy  /  average   HEIGHT  :    168 cm  /  5′6 SCARS  /  BIRTHMARKS  :    tristan is littered with scars, so it would be difficult to catalogue all of them.  however, as his more prominent, he sports a large diagonal burn scar across one shoulder blade, a jagged puncture scar on his upper thigh, a particularly ugly gunshot graze on his upper right arm, and the very obvious remnants of a knife wound on his left side.  otherwise, he sports a number of smaller burns from the variety of dangerous substances he frequently experiments with and keeps on his person, as well as a couple more clear weapon wounds that are slightly more subtle than the aforementioned larger scars. ABILITIES  /  POWERS   :    healing  /  regeneration.  black belt in krav maga, skilled gymnast and amateur contortionist, deep knowledge of the chemistry and use of poisons, acquired immunity to a large number of typically debilitating and/or fatal poisons. RESTRICTIONS  :    deeply and incredibly mortal, despite his regenerative qualities.  reckless to the point of foolishness.  not at all a good team player.  poor emotional regulation and a tendency not to realize what’s important to him until it becomes a problem.

FAVORITES.

FOOD  :    it’s hard to pick a favorite because he’s not picky and will eat whatever he can get his hands on, but any culture’s version of a fried dough  DRINK  :    coca-cola,  maple syrup old fashioned  ( if not straight whiskey ) ,  or just plain water. PIZZA TOPPING  :    pepperoni,  sausage,  and pepperoncinis. COLOR  :    black. MUSIC GENRE  :    hard rock,  some pop / rock  ( beach boys-esque ) ,  classical. BOOK GENRE  :    mystery,  thriller,  horror,  nonfiction. MOVIE GENRE  :    truly, he doesn’t have much of an attention span for movies or television.  he tends to watch a portion of something and then get up to go do something else.  he can stay focused for the duration of a football match sometimes and he  ( oddly enough )  enjoys a good documentary here and there, and if he has to pick fictional movie genres, he’ll go for something thriller-adjacent, but if he sits and watches a whole movie with you, that just means he cares about you even if he isn’t saying it because his attention span fucked off after 40 minutes. CURSE WORD  :    probably fuck. SCENTS  :    sandlewood,  gunpowder,  almonds,  a touch of gasoline,  something strangely sweet and unidentifiable.

FUN STUFF.

SONGS  :    dirty little animals,  bones uk  /  barracuda,  heart  /  snakes,  pvris & miyavi  /  everybody wants to rule the world,  tears for fears  /  lie to me,  jonny lang  /  goodbye,  ramsey AESTHETIC  :    bloody knuckles soaked through filthy wrappings,  flickering neon lights at midnight,  the sheen of rain on the asphalt,  the reflection of street lamps in puddles,  a dark apartment with sparse furniture,  distant thunder on the air,  an unnaturally colored liquid in an unlabeled vial,  the glint of a knife as someone conceals it up their sleeve,  nights that feel sleepless. SINGS IN THE SHOWER  :    no.  doesn’t sing in general.  and you’re all welcome for that, because his voice is awful. LIKES PUNS  :    yes, if they’re actually good.

tagged by :    my loves  @wrrnth  and  @vicioushope,  and  @daylighter,  whomst I have admired greatly from afar HELLO <3 tagging :    whoever hasn’t been tagged!

[unyieldingvalxr]

"Just… stay for the night." -Jarin, for Marion in her Jump Street verse.

Titter-tatters of rain batter the glossy pane of the window as sea-glass orbs peer both at her reflection and the lights of the city below. The quaintness of the apartment coupled with his kindness do little to settle the turbulence of the night.

A rat in the department had divulged her personal information to a military-trained crime boss, known as the “Bloody Butcher”. She knew him best as Tarleton, through her father’s work. Only when her father knew him, he hadn’t yet expanded his practice to weapons dealings in high schools in the country. He must be graduating, taking on more enterprises with every year he roams free. Now more teens than ever are going to wind up awash in the bloodbaths he starts.  

Lips warp into a frown as her hands hurriedly crumples up the threat she’d personally received from the hated man. She’s read the emboldened black ink at least thirty times since she scooped the pale paper out of her mailbox.

       This is war little Marion. Prepare to lose everything you love.

Seething, shattered breaths fleet from Marion's lungs. She can still hear Captain Fuller's voice when he YANKED her from the case. "I'm not risking my officers over a decades old, personal vendetta with a crime boss. A crime boss who is known for leaving a trail of blood. You and Jarin are benched until this guys behind bars." But giving up wasn't a course of action she intended to take at least, not permanently. Still, she did need to rest her head, if she was ever to take down his ugly organization. Her mind is reeling, unsettled like green skies before a nasty storm.

Jarin's sweet offer is nearly missed with the pulse of adrenaline ringing in her ears. "Ya-- you sure ya want ta be invitin’ me ta your place knowin' the trouble I--- we-- might be courtin? This guy ain't got a reputation for being the butcher cause he likes deli meats..." Her eyes search him, for the first time that night. Cheeks glow, half torn between anger and the feelings she was nursing for her partner. She was awfully attached to him. If anyone so much as harmed a hair on his head, she might flip. 

“And I ain’t entirely been honest with ya...” Elsie starts, her voice dropping to a tremulous whisper. “If I stay the night, I might--” Kiss you. Yes. The thought had crossed her mind about a trillion times as they worked together. But if she loved him, it would mean endangering him. At least, until Tarleton and his crew were dead. Even now, her heart swoons. Every pang thrashes her ribcages with a newly formed knowledge of just how deep her crush had grown. 

In the pale halo of light rising out of the other room and the pastel glow of the television, he appeared ---resplendent. The kind of warm she wanted little more than to bury herself in. Swallowing down hard, she rephrases the words that had tangled in her throat, “I might cross a few lines....” Romantically. Work-wise. It all had her head in an all out spin. 

“Aren’t ya even a little mad ‘bout being benched with me?” She turns the subject, feeling a rise of anxiety in her veins. 

[channeleven]

Fantastic Movies and How I Found Them Again

Let’s be real, everyone forgets. You saw a movie or TV show ages ago, and most of the time you’re unable to figure out where it came from, that’s been my life and I’ve been trying to right that wrong ever since. I’ve been lucky enough to rediscover certain scenes and found them more interesting or not as scary as I remember, other times I turned to Reddit. So right now, I’m gonna list out movies that I remember seeing as a kid, where I either muddled the context or just found them again.

Also there will be spoilers.

Big Fish

Tim Burton’s Big Fish was weird, but that was sorta the point. I had encountered a huge mixup when thinking about the film. I had confused Edward Bloom with Karl the Giant. To be fair to young me, Edward went through a process known as gigantificationism, which is complicated but he grew in size. I had thought he would become that giant. But no, gigantificationism just gave Edward incentive to get more out of life, and he would meet Karl in the woods and help him get better acquainted to society.

The entire movie is one big fantasy, with Edward’s son not believing his father’s tall tales, and honestly it’s worth checking out.

Walk Hard

When you’re young and you see a boy sliced in half by a machete, naturally you’d assume the worst. I had seen this movie only once long ago, and I thought it was more serious than it was intended to be. It wasn’t until I watched it again that I picked up on the comedy, and that a lot of this movie is meant to be a parody of musician biopics in general. And yes, the machete scene was funnier than I remembered it, if it were rooted in realism that boy would’ve died instantly.

I’ve come to expect nothing but pure hilarity from Apatow movies, which is what this was, and this has been a regular staple for family movie nights, check it out, for fucks sake.

Parents

This one is a bit more obscure, and it would’ve been much harder to trace my memory of it to a name. But I managed to get incredibly lucky. I remember watching a movie with a nightmare sequence that stuck in my mind, where a boy walked into the kitchen to find a bloodied arm and hand in the sink, the fridge began to bleed and the boy found himself in a pool of blood.

The film was mentioned by Brad Jones, the Cinema Snob, in one of his reviews. I decided to look it up, though all I found of it was a trailer. In spite of that, the scene after the nightmare where the mother woke up the boy was all I needed to confirm that was the movie I remembered. It’s intended to be a dark comedy about cannibals, right up your alley if you have the stomach for cheese.

Summer of Sam

Here’s an odd commodity, one of if not the only Spike Lee film to have a predominantly white cast. Now, my dad is well versed in the history of the killer this movie is based on, Sam Berkowitz, my aunt had a handgun with her in case the killer came by her while she was in the car.

Two scenes I recalled. First one is where Sam shoots a dog from out the window, the second is when he writes on the walls and gets confronted by a demonic talking dog. I saw the first scene on television by chance years after I saw the movie, and thanks to modern remotes I was able to peg the name. I then looked to see if I could find the demon dog scene, and although it didn’t show the writing part, I was able to determine it was the scene I was looking for. And boy howdy, it’s ridiculous, and the ultimate takeaway people got from this. A cornball flick, but hey I can see myself watching this, I enjoyed Tales from the Hood, but then I saw what other shit the director of it was capable of.

There’s Something About Mary

Either kindergarten, or first grade, I remember watching one scene from this movie where the Ben Stiller character got his nutsack caught in his zipper, then being taken away by the paramedics. My dad told me the context, but I didn’t know this was a comedic movie, let alone one so well known, nor did I pick up on the ridiculous fashion sense of Ben Stiller from the hair to the braces, nor random strangers popping in to see what gives, and especially not “We’ve got a bleeder!”

It’s funnier than I thought it was, and the movie certainly stood the test of time.

Spider-Man

Sam Rami’s Spider-Man movies were amazing, and far better than the products Marvel Studios put out. I remember seeing this at the cinemas once or twice, but time after, I began to briefly develop arachnophobia. The prospect of a spider doing deadly shit to people, I was like hell no. I mean just ask Jeff Hanneman, oh that’s right you can’t.

Once I got over the circumstances behind Peter Parker becoming Spider-Man, there was a lot of this movie I didn’t even recall happened. For instance, at school there is a gap between Peter eating lunch and seeing the fork stuck to his wrist, I did not see him save MJ. I also didn’t know the full context of the circumstances behind Dr. Osborne becoming Green Goblin, it was all his idea and his assistant tried to warn him, and we get an immediate clue that Goblin is alive and tosses the assistant to his death, though in an odd twist that assistant became an antagonist in the comics as far as I know.

Lastly, the final fight. I had thought Spider-Man killed Goblin in cold blood, but really, he was trying to trick Spider-Man into getting killed by his glider, which, I won’t go any further you get the idea.

One interesting detail is the bridge scene, where New Yorkers band together to help Spider-Man hold off the Goblin, which was made after the fall of the twin towers, now before you decide to make a meme out of me and give Dumbsville some more retarded shit to include in his reviews, the movie was in production since 2001, and as this movie was set in New York where the towers stood, New York faced the worst of the attack and this played on the unity New Yorkers desperately needed in a dire time.

It’s ironic this movie was released in 2002.

Arachnophobia

This was the movie that gave me the eponymous fear. As a kid, I was never able to pick up on subtext in movies. To better explain, I had no idea this was supposed to be a comedic thriller, a thrillomedy as the trailer greatly suggests. All I recall was the football player dying from a bite, Sam Metcalf dying the same way and the final climax. It wasn’t until years later I decided to see if I could find the scenes and determine if they were as scary as I remembered, and I was wrong.

Firstly, the Metcalf scene, I had assumed he died immediately, but really, he didn’t and instructed his wife to call the titular doctor character. Then there was perhaps the biggest giveaway this was a comedy. The John Goodman scenes. Those speak for themselves but his mannerisms, dialog and put down on the first spider he saw helped reveal to me that everything was alright and this was a thriller comedy through and through. Also the coach character has funny underwear.

As a sidenote, Roland Emmerich’s Eight Legged Freaks was another movie that contributed to my arachnophobia, but I remembered it perfect and at its core it was meant to be a tribute to B monster movies. It’s actually a decent film if you like to have fun and your name isn’t Adum.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

This one will be brief, as I recognized the title and what happened in most scenes, but there is one misconception I had of the movie. I had assumed the doomed citizens trapped in cotton candy were turned into balloons, but really the balloons were used to trap victims who would be wrapped in cotton candy and had their blood sucked out, something like that.

Requiem for a Dream

This was a holy grail for me in terms of lost memories. I remember watching this movie as a kid at my grandparents house, of this monster refrigerator and this woman who somehow turned up on a gameshow. I had figured I found this obscure 80s/90s comedic romp, but I was wrong.

I had such trouble finding the movie I turned to Reddit to find it, and it was a matter of seconds that I got what I was looking for. I’m aware Darren Aronofsky is a surrealist director in a similar vein to David Lynch, but I figured he had more restraint than Lynch, I was wrong.

The context here is that the old woman, Sara Goldfarb, is using diet pills to slim down so she can fit in a red dress after she gets an opportunity to appear on a gameshow. She slowly loses her mind from starving herself and the gameshow comes out as a nightmare sequence. And what of the fridge? It comes to life and prepares to eat her.

See? Makes perfect sense.

The Mighty

I remember watching this movie in school, and I caught it pretty far in. All I recalled was that it had a kid with glasses and a light seemingly trying to help a troubled boy in an abusive family.

To Reddit!

Turns out the light was meaningless, just a means of singling himself out as he tries to sled his way out of trouble. He and the troubled boy are actually best friends brought together by mental and physical impairments, it seems like a great movie.

Also, ever wanted to hear a pre-Tony Soprano James Gandolfini attempt a southern accent? There’s your chance.

Cape Fear (1990)

Of all places I caught this at a dentist’s office, and had no idea what I was watching, just that there was this guy stalking a family on a boat. I had never seen the original Cape Fear nor knew this was a remake. Akin to Parents, Summer of Sam and Walk Hard, I found this movie by luck, it was playing on TV when I was at my summer home, and every scene checked out with the proper context.

It was then that I realized how much of an impact this had on pop culture, why else did The Simpsons do a parody of it?

Nell

This one has always been tricky. I remember watching a movie about a wild child, and when looking it up, this movie comes up. Part of me thought it was much older than 1994, when Nell came out, but that was probably due to me watching this on an old ass TV. I once more went to Reddit, and at first I thought it wasn’t what I was looking for, but a Wikipedia description basically confirmed a scene happening that I remembered, and Nell was it.

Secret Window

This is perhaps one of the worst instances of false movie memories I ever had. I got so much wrong with it that... well you can figure right?

I’m gonna list these out. First of all, I completely missed the grander context of this, going by a crappy summary on Wikipedia and not really paying attention. I had assumed Johnny Depp’s character was a psychopath who kills people trying to help him. But really, his wife was a bitch, he killed her, her ex boyfriend and any compromising witnesses.

Shooter, his arch nemesis, was cooked up by him to provide personal justification for his murderous deeds.

That was Depp at a flea market where he indirectly created Shooter, and I assumed he was an African American. Charles S. Dutton is bigger in size than Depp, always has been.

The truth is, this movie makes way more sense than I thought it did, and though the actions are vile, they seem justifiable to Depp, also there was a neat little scene where he interacts with his subconscious.

Final Thoughts

I don’t really have any, I just didn’t know how to end this. So, bye.

[vulpesse-arc]

au verses added  /  updated  /  still in the work  !

♡     ⸻     𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐚𝐮:   a woman with neither past nor future,  she is lamentably part of an ancient lineage of servants and gisaengs who never bothered to fight for a better present,  for a brighter future.  even in the current day,  with naught but few houses still working in the business of entertainment,  that’s where she has grown up and that’s where she will die:  there is no need for humans in the chambers where she dances and sings and performs,  for humans break easily and can never be truly fixed  ;  what is needed is a doll,  one that can be torn apart just as many times as it is necessary to do so,  only to easily put her jagged pieces back together.  but what happens when the doll becomes a monster,  a half-monster  ?  ever since the entity took residence in the depth of her mind,  ahri understood that this was her one and only chance to be more than a fragile little woman wearing garments of silk and velvet:  this was her one and only chance to have others beg at her feet.  and thus,  with a subconscious much too twisted and fragmented to be wholly dominated by the entity,  ahri is slowly learning how to control her monstrous self,  her freshly birthed desires,  her vicinity to the freedom that she has dreamt of for the entirety of her life.     

***   [   i miss my sweet home oc a lot but i don’t think i have time to be on so many blogs at the same time so this felt like the best solution to my love & adoration for this media  !  obviously,  ahri’s monster form revolves around the features of the nine tailed fox:  when she is only partially transformed,  she will have a constantly changing amount of tails and only when she will be wholly transformed,  will she actually resemble the beast of the myths.   ]

♡     ⸻     𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐎-𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒 ���𝐮:    a criminally asymptomatic woman,  who once foolishly dreamed of becoming a famous pop singer:  unfortunately,  due to the inability of the sibyl system to properly scan and categorize her value and thus decide on a path for her,  ahri soon became an achromatic ghost in a colorful society where everything was strictly and ultimately decided by the artificial mind & heart of the city.  thrown to the side and cruelly shunned by everyone around her,  ahri struggled for many years,  fighting against an impending sense of doom and drowning in an ever-haunting loneliness,  searching for a place in which she could finally be herself,  a place in which her colors could have shone as bright as those of anyone else.  in the end,  she found what she had been looking for in the illegal underground,  where anyone willing to oppose the dictatorship of sibyl gathered.  there,  she started performing for her “comrades”,  donning a fox mask in pursuance of concealing her real identity and focused on gathering as much information about the system as she could  ;  with her knowledge about technology and especially drones / bots,  she built herself a little family of artificial foxes that now serve as spies,  defenders and even hunting beasts.  although she does not have a real purpose in her life,  she is continuously searching for new stimuli and experiences,  intoxicated by the awareness that she can easily avoid the lethal shots of the dominators thanks to her curse,  thanks to her blessing. 

♡     ⸻     𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐚𝐮:   a creature of old,  one that hauntingly lingers in the most ancient of legends and in the most gruesome of tales narrated to naughty children before their bedtime:  ahri is an ancient creature,  a fox who has lived long enough to accumulate an enormous amount of mystical power within herself and who is now capable of freely molding her physical self at will.  her little home,  situated in the heart of an “enchanted” forest,  is rarely treaded ‘pon,  for the inhabitants of the nearby villages have yet to forget and move on from the inhumane screams that sometimes echo throughout the entire land.  in order to earn her favor and hopefully soothe her childishly irritable disposition,  each month the villagers leave jewels and incenses and books and exquisite fabrics in the outskirts of the forest:  truth to be told,  she does appreciate these little offerings a lot.  believed to bring good luck to lovers and dismay to hunters,  it is not too unusual for desperate lovestruck souls to seek for her help,  for the miraculous love potions that she is said to be crafting...  unfortunately,  one may never know which side the fox will take,  nor whether she will be willing to help or not.  despite her desire not to engage with the power plays between the royals and the grisha,  she is not against the idea of lending a hand   /   for the right price,  of course. 

***   [   ahri is ancient and capricious,  someone who has observed the world change from the comfortable safety of her little forest.  despite her innate hostility towards humans,  she is easily intrigued by the desires and goals of others,  especially if they are harbored by peculiar hearts:  the only way not to be eaten by her is indeed this,  to pique her attention.  she could be a valuable ally,  but is it really a good idea to trust a fox  ?   ]

♡     ⸻     𝐈𝐍𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐘𝐂𝐋𝐄 𝐚𝐮:  tba,  because i’m really struggling with this.  on one side,  she could easily be a “werefox”  (  since we canonically have werecats in the novels  )  but i don’t know if this sounds interesting...  or,  maybe she could simply be a spirit who has taken on a humane physical appearance to mingle with mortals  ?  still thinking about this,  might even re-read the books to see if i get any sudden inspiration.  one thing that i might work with is the fact that in the first book,  it is said that “The Spine was one of the only places that King Galbatorix could not call his own. Stories were still told about how half his army disappeared after marching into its ancient forest. A cloud of misfortune and bad luck seemed to hang over it.” so maybe that’s where ahri resides  ?  far from everyone,  in her own little realm,  ready to eat anyone who dares interrupt her peace. 

♡     ⸻     𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐚𝐮:   an ancient and malicious sorcerus hailing from the forgotten kingdom of ashkahi,  ahri has sacrificed her humanity in the name of the moon and his cult in pursuance of earning the abilities to manipulate the hearts and souls of others.  once her beloved home was lamentably eradicated from existence by the falling of the deity’s skull,  she began traveling across the world,  earning riches and breaking hearts and painting her hands in red whenever the situation called for it  ;  left without a purpose and without a hearth to ever come back to,  the soulless woman began to ultimately lose herself,  becoming naught but the selfish and hollow ghost of who she once was.  things,  however,  changed once she was requested to become part of the red church.  even though she currently does not appreciate the ones who rule over the church,  she remains loyal to the murderous cult of the mother...  waiting for something to happen,  for a reason to finally breathe again.

♡     ⸻     𝐏𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐚𝐮:   a coordinator with a dark past,  ahri is continuously struggling to find her place in the world.  after leaving floaroma town,  she and her vulpix were scouted by the team galactic with deceitful promises to create together a better future for everyone.  she fought hard and did her very best to blindly obey to every order that she was given but after the first real defeat of their leader,  she ended up abandoning the team out of all-devouring guilt.  in order to try and cleanse her hands from all the crimes that she had naively committed,  she started traveling from one region to the other,  capturing new friends,  strengthening her own mind and slowly growing interested in the world of contests:  rather than relying on violence,  these contests relied on beauty and grace and that felt like the fastest way to move away from all the pain and ache that she had previously caused.  currently, she is pursuing a career as a coordinator and is chasing the dream of spreading the traditions of the pokemon festivals across the other regions, as well  ;  her couple of ninetales has become two of the hardest foes to defeat in the field.

more tba. 

[screentimeoverlord]

@cannibalxroses asked

"Looks like I'll be spending the evening with you, darling. Though I can't help but wonder.. Was it necessary to show off in front of Alastor, or was it due to some petty revenge you need to have with him?"

"Oh don't mind that, my little rose. Merely teasing him, wouldn't be fair to let him forget he left you of all people for seven years now, would it? After getting to know you on such a wonderful and personal level, I sure wouldn't leave for that long."

[joezworld]

Toby - Rap God

Guys I was making myself laugh when I wrote this - I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. 

Based entirely on one line from this.

2019

There are many engines on the Island of Sodor, and like many people, music is often part of their lives.

Some engines, like Percy and Duck, have no interest in the subject, having never been exposed to it in a real manner.

Others, like Gordon and Henry, have extremely well-defined music tastes. (Unfortunately for those around them, they do not like the same music, and arguments often ensue.)

James, being extremely vain, enjoys the songs written about him for the children's television show based on the writings of The Thin Clergyman.

And then there’s Toby...

-----------

Toby is a small brown steam tram. He has spent almost all of his life on Sodor on Thomas' branch line, where he and his coach Henrietta trundle up and down the valley at the top of the line - providing a valuable commuter service from the branch line terminus to the stone mines at Anopha.

Toby likes music, as does Henrietta; they like it so much that in 1989 the workmen installed a radio in Henrietta so that the two could listen to music on it as they worked.

This was very thoughtful gift, but there was a small problem:

The hills outside of the quarry meant that many radio stations couldn't reach the small antenna on Henrietta's roof.

Fortunately, a few did, mostly overpowered stations on the Isle of Man. These stations were designed to reach boats far out at sea, and mainly played uninteresting things like the Shipping Forecast.

There was, however, one station that did come come through loud and clear no matter where you were...

---

You're listening to ManxPirate - the Barely-Seaworthy voice of the Sudrian Sea. I’m your sea-going Deejay - or Sea-Jay - Musik Mike! Up next is our most popular block of the day - that’s right, the JAMS are LOUD and we're all gonna get DEF!

"Oh Henrietta! It's starting!"

"Just be ready on the choruses Toby"

------------------

The sounds of music echoed off of the Els river valley as Toby and Henrietta trundled towards Elsbridge.

Aside from their Quarry duties, Toby and Henrietta also worked 'the school bus', a daily train that carried schoolchildren from the remote farmhouses between Elsbridge and Hackenbeck to the Saint Pedroc's school in Elsbridge.

Toby loved this route - many of the children had been taking 'the bus' since Grade 1, and he felt privileged to have seen them grow up into fine young adults.

-

As he pulled into the platform at Elsbridge station, he saw those young adults crowded around each other.

'"Peep Peep! Let's go, everyone!" he called to the teens.

"Just a minute Tobes!" Called back Sera, one of the teenagers, before she turned back to her friends, who were filming her with their 'smart-phones'.

"Whatever could they be doing?" He asked Henrietta as Sera and her friend Phoebe bounced up and down in unison while waving their arms around.

"Undoubtedly something for the internet," the coach mused. "But I have no idea what - trends change so fast now".

"Internet?" Toby was puzzled. "Don't they need a computer for that?"

"Toby. Smartphones have been around for over ten years. How do you not know about this?"

"I'm sorry that I'm not as technologically advanced as you - but at least I know what steam is!"

"Oh my goodness, it's also a video game company now. You've heard those jokes before!"

Toby and Henrietta likely would have gone on like that until the guard blew his whistle, but Phoebe broke away from the group of teens, her phone in her hand.

"Toby?" She asked, clearly trying not laugh. "Do you know what Vossi Bop is?"

Toby was taken aback. "Of course I do. Vossi Bop isn't my favourite, but that's just because I don't like Stormzy that much - I'm not one for Grime."

Phoebe blinked like she'd been poleaxed. "What?"

"It's a Stormzy song, isn't it?"

"Toby," Henrietta sighed. "She was asking because she thought you didn't know. Was this going to be some kind of thing where you show rap music to the elderly and laugh at them being shocked?" She asked Phoebe, who nodded slowly.

"Well, you're going to have to better than that young lady," The coach smirked. "We've been listening to ManxPirate since before you were born!"

"Really?" The blonde asked slowly.

"Oh yes!" Henrietta boasted. "Eazy-E was still alive when we first tuned in!"

"Oh, em, gee!" The girl said, before turning and shouting down the platform. "Guys! They do know!"

-

The excited teenagers crowded around Toby and Henrietta as they quizzed the tram on rap music. Any thought of leaving on time was totally forgotten about as Toby's extensive knowledge of gangsta rap was laid out for them.

"Mate, mate," said John, one of the boys. "You gotta do The Challenge if you know all this!"

"What challenge?" Toby asked.

The teens clamored over each other, before they all stopped to let someone speak intelligibly.

Rachel Kyndley eventually spoke up: "It's a thing that ManxPirate is doing on TikTok. You sing along to a rap song and whoever does it the best gets to record a charity single with Stormzy!"

The teens again spoke over each other, all claiming that Toby and Henrietta should sing for the challenge.

Toby had to blow his whistle to calm them down. "I suppose there's nothing to lose by it," He said after a moment. "But I should say that my flow isn’t that good."

"Mate, I am amazed that you know what that means,” Said John. “But you just need to sing along to somethin’ that’s already out there.” 

“Oh.” Toby looked back at Henrietta. “Well that shouldn’t be too hard. Do you have any N.W.A we could sing along to?”

As he had the only ‘eye-phone pro’, Simon the student newspaper editor was volunteered as cameraperson, while Rachel set a small ‘blue tooth speaker’ on Toby’s bufferbeam so that he could hear the music.  

The remaining teenagers pulled out their phones as well - whatever happened next was going to be un-fucking-believable. 

-

The music began with record scratching. The kids looked at each other in shock. There was no way that Rachel had picked this.

"Right about now NWA court is in full effect” Henrietta sang.

Rachel had. The teens could barely contain themselves. 

“Judge Dre presiding in the case of NWA versus the police department.

Prosecuting attourneys are MC Ren, Ice Cube and Eazy motherfuckin' E”

Hearing Henrietta say ‘fuck’, was an astonishing experience for the unprepared teenagers.

“Order, order, order, Ice Cube take the motherfuckin' stand

Do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth

And nothin' but the truth so help your black ass?”

“You goddamn right” Toby responded. Rachel Kyndley barely could hold back a shout of astonishment. I hope there’s no book written about this! She thought.

“Well, won't you tell everybody what the fuck you gotta say?"

Then there was a record scratching sound. 

The teens knew what came next. They hoped that they were prepared to hear this song come out of Toby.

"Fuck the police comin' straight from the underground!" 

Toby and Henrietta not only sang this lyric, they sang it in harmony. 

The teenagers thought that they had been prepared. 

They were not prepared. 

Most of the next few verses were lost underneath the clamor of twelve teenagers losing their goddamn minds.

--------------------

A few days later

Toby was resting in his shed when a little car came tearing into the station parking lot. More girls than should have been possible to fit in it came tumbling out and made a beeline for his shed, Rachel Kyndley in the lead. 

“Toby! Toby! Toby! You won! You won!” She shouted as she skidded over the gravel. 

“Won what?”

“The Contest!” She shrieked. “Your video went viral and you won The Contest! Stormzy said on Instagram that he was excited to meet you!” 

She and her friends dissolved into happy squealing, preventing any further speech. 

“What’s Instagram?” Toby asked Henrietta. 

--------------------------

The Next Week

Stephen Hatt was enjoying his tea and tolerating his toast and marmalade, when his son Richard burst into his office, waving his phone around like a sword. 

“Were you just not going to tell me that you let Stormzy visit the engines? Or was I just supposed to figure this out when Kieran and Micah tore my ear off for not letting them meet him?!”

“I have a phone, you know. And a receptionist.” Stephen said as he cleaned tea off of his desk. Fortunately, most of it had gone onto the marmalade covered toast, which he unceremoniously dumped into the trash. “And who have I let meet the engines?”

“Stormzy? The rapper? He headlined at Glastonbury last bloody month?”

“I don’t follow.”

“He’s a musician, and you let him record an album with Toby!”

“He recorded music? With Toby? Our Toby?”

“Yes! It was supposed to be a single, but now it’s an album! It hit number one! And it’s been out for three hours!”

“You’re saying this as if I have the slightest idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just read the article!” Richard shoved the phone into his hand. The website for  BBC Sodor and Man was open. 

-

STORMZY DROPS SURPRISE ALBUM WITH SURPRISE COSTARS

ELSBRIDGE - Music fans across the world were surprised this morning when Stormzy unexpectedly announced via Instagram the release of his newest album, Back in Their Day - featuring two of the realest OGs I’ve ever seen.

Residents of Sodor were especially surprised to discover who those “two real OGs” were: Toby and Henrietta, an engine and coach on the Ffarquhar Branch Line. 

This unexpected collaboration began several weeks ago when a viral video on TikTok featuring the pair attracted the attention of the rapper...

-

Stephen skimmed the rest of the article, not quite believing what he was reading. “I didn’t authorize any of this.” He said at last. 

“Really?” Richard said, not quite believing him. “Because that’s what the staff on the Branch told me too.”

“I swear to you I didn’t do anything.”

“Then what, did the biggest star in the country just go to Ffarquhar and record an album with Toby? With nobody’s permission?”

----------------

[TWO YEARS LATER]

--CHANNEL 4 INTERNAL TRANSCRIPT: THE LAST LEG 2021 CHRISTMAS SPECIAL--

ADAM HILLS - So we’ve had a lot of questions, about, the last album you dropped-

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

AH - The one with the train engine -  I think his name is Toby?

STORMZY - And Henrietta. Can’t forget her. 

AH - Of course not.

S - What do you wanna know?

[MORE LAUGHTER]

AH - Well, I don’t have any questions - and when I say we, I don’t mean Alex or our viewers - 

[PROLONGED LAUGHTER]

AH - I mean Josh.

JOSH WIDDICOMBE - [TO ADAM] You’re an Arse. [To STORMZY] - Um, I just wanted to know how you did it really. Is it, is it true that you snuck in and did it all in one night?

S - Oh yeah! Absolutely. ‘Cause, I thought that it was gonna be a one and done, like just a single y’know? So I just went there and was gonna do it and go. But as we kept talkin’ I realized that, that, I just had to make more, and then it became the album and we shot a music video for ‘scrapp’ on the same night and then I did some sound work  and then it went up. 

AH - Just like that?

S - Just like that.

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Joseph David-Jones, Arrow

From a superhero in the DC Universe, to a performer caught in the middle of racial injustice and police brutality, and an artistic guitarist struggling with bipolar disorder, Joseph has brought to life some of the most dynamic characters in film and television today. This year, Joseph can be seen reprising his fan favorite role as Connor Hawke AKA ‘The Green Arrow’ in the final season of The CW’s longstanding action-superhero series Arrow, as well as in DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.  On the film front, Joseph held a starring role in Kathryn Bigelow’s critically acclaimed feature film Detroit, as well as in Roman J. Israel, Esq and The Divergent Series: Allegiant. We got the chance to ask Joseph some hard-hitting questions about his life and career:

Do you have a favorite Arrow fan theory or piece of fan art?

I used to be a sucker for fan theories. I would spend hours watching videos on YouTube or reading posts on fan sites. I used to be convinced that fans had figured out the secrets to my favorite shows. But now that I’m on the other side of it, I think fan theories are hilarious. Now that I know what the truth is, it’s so funny to watch people speculate. For this season of “ARROW", my favorite fan theories have to be the ones about Crisis. I mean, fans have no idea what’s coming.

As for my favorite fan art, I actually reposted it earlier this year. It was this great piece of Kat McNamara and I by Lord Mesa. Credit: Lord Mesa

If you could be transported into the world of a book, movie, or TV show, which one would you pick?

That’s a tough one. The coolest worlds often turn out to be the most treacherous ones. However, if I could somehow adopt the supernatural elements of whatever world I chose to inhabit, it would be Dragon Ball Z hands down. I’ve been a fan of that since Day 1.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

"Trust that God has a plan for you" - My Mother.

If you were to come up with an alternate title for Arrow, what would it be?

"The Mysterious Life of Oliver Queen.”

Do you have a favorite scene or moment from the final season of Arrow?

My favorite scene to shoot this season would have to be the one from episode 802 between my brother JJ (Charlie Barnett) and I. It was one that both he and I had discussed in great detail prior and had worked through multiple times in order to truly find the history between us.  

What’s the funniest photo that you have on your phone?

I don’t have many funny photos on my phone, aside from me catching my castmates sleeping. I do, however, have a lot of funny videos. The funniest one that comes to mind is of my me and my girlfriend on a road trip. She’s filming and when she turns the camera onto me. I scream bloody murder as if I were seconds from crashing, and she instantly starts to freak out and drop the phone.

If you could have the powers of any hero or villain from the Arrowverse, whose powers would you want?

Barry Allen hands down. That way, if I don’t like my current timeline, I can always just mess it up.

What did you dress up as for Halloween?

Miles Morales from Into the Spider-verse but don’t tell DC comics.

Do you have any fun facts about filming that fans would be surprised to know?

Episodes change drastically while we’re shooting them! Every day new drafts of the scripts are written, then rewritten, and written again while we’re still shooting the episodes. So, I may start out thinking we're shooting one thing and wind up filming a completely different episode.  

What’s next for you?

I’m really hoping to spend some time developing and working on my own projects. And now with Arrow coming to a close, I finally have the time and resources to do it.  

Thanks so much for chatting with us, Joseph! Catch new episodes of Arrow, Tuesdays on The CW. 

Photography: Storm Santos | Grooming: Andrea Samuels | Styling: LaDonna Alicia

[peachesandscreammuses]

Wednesday Friday Addams

Full Name: Wednesday Friday Addams

Age: Verse Dependent, but usually 13 years old.

Appearance:

Eyes: Brown

Skin: White

Hair: Black, usually in two neat braids

Wednesday is usually seen in a black, button down dress with a Peter Pan collar, black stockings and black Victorian boots.

Bio:

In Addams' cartoons, which first appeared in The New Yorker, Wednesday and other members of the family had no names. When the characters were adapted to the 1964 television series, Charles Addams gave her the name "Wednesday", based on the well-known nursery rhyme line, "Wednesday's child is full of woe." In the TV series, her middle name is "Friday". In the Spanish-language version, her name is Miércoles Addams (Spain [Wednesday in Spanish]) or Merlina Addams (Latin America). In the Brazilian version her name is Wandinha (Little Wanda in Portuguese) and in Italy her name is Mercoledì (Wednesday in Italian).

She is the sister of Pugsley, Pugsley Jr., Wednesday Jr., and Pubert, and is the oldest daughter of Gomez and Morticia Addams. Wednesday has a close kinship with the family's giant butler Lurch.

In the original Addams Family cartoons illustrated by Charles, Wednesday is a pale, dark-haired, grim-looking little girl who is fascinated with death and macabre. She rarely smiles.

In the original sitcom, Wednesday tends to be a lot happier than in the New Yorker cartoons; she is significantly more sweet-natured, although her favorite hobby is raising spiders; she is also a ballerina. Wednesday's favorite toy is her Marie Antoinette doll, which her brother guillotines (at her request). She is stated to be six years old in the television series' pilot episode. In one episode, shehas several other headless dolls as well. She also paints pictures, including a picture of trees with human heads, and writes a poem dedicated to her favorite pet spider, Homer. Wednesday is deceptively strong; she is able to bring her father down with a judo hold.

She dislikes school, especially the stories they read to them where they slay dragons.

In the 1991 film, she is closer to the original cartoons. She shows sadistic tendencies and a dark personality, and has a deep interest in the Bermuda Triangle and an admiration for her Great Aunt Calpurnia Addams, who was burned as a witch in 1706.

Wednesday plays with her brother Pugsley by shooting an apple in his mouth, before the two of them head off to school. The two of them also play in outside with an antenna during a thunderstorm before they're called inside for the seance.

Wednesday greets Tully and Margaret Alford at the door as they arrive for the seance, helping Margaret get the fingertrap off. She speaks during the seance, calling for the ancestors to help them find Fester, who soon appears.

Wednesday is suspicious of Fester and Dr. Pinder-Schloss, as they claim Fester was in the Bermuda Triangle, and, according to Wednesday, "Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle." She keeps an eye on Fester when he tries to escape his room later that night.

She maintains her suspicions, talking about it with Pugsley as she attempts to electrocute him during their game "Is There a God?" However, she becomes more trusting of him when he helps them with their Shakespeare Performance at school, helping Pugsley choreograph his stabs and giving them bloody fake limbs to wear.

When Fester says he has to leave, the Addamses throw him a party with all their relatives. Morticia sends Wednesday upstairs to fetch Fester, but she overhears him talking with Pinder-Schloss- who is really Abigail Craven- and finds out that Fester is an imposter trying to steal their money. She flees from them and hides in the Mausoleum, where she falls asleep until Gomez finds her. She tells them that Fester is a fake, but they're too late, as Fester has locked them out of the house.

The family has to live in a motel, where Wednesday and Pugsley try to raise money by selling Lemonade, but Wednesday scares away a Girl Scout customer.

Later, when Craven and Tully are thrown from the house, they land in graves dug by the Addams Children, who bury them.

The next Halloween, Wednesday comes downstairs to greet Cousin Itt and Margaret, who asks her what her costume is, as she appears not to have one. She responds, "This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else." She later wants Fester to be on her team for "Wake the Dead."

[absentsdream]

* you know juniper rothschild, right? they’re twenty-five, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, one and a bit years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to siren 042 by lala lala like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole unending expanse of forest coming alive with dread, a loneliness corroding the soul as acid ; splinters in the plush muscle of the palm circled by a blush of irritation ; at the true centre of a tarnished crucifix pendant, a worn pit thumbed from habitual nervousness thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is february 2nd, so they’re an aquarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

AESTHETICS.

bloody nose and a split lip to match, ladybugs crawling over the hand, heavy morning fog, creased linen, reading a novel until two a.m., nearly-empty diners, tarnished silver, words kept silent on a bitten tongue, dull sunlight, half-melted novelty candles, pitched ringing in the ear, tattered comics, ivory, nineties sci-fi television, chlorine drying stiff on the forearms.

CHARA INSPO.

carrie white ( carrie ), tender branson ( survivor ), sara sidle ( csi ), annie landsberg ( maniac ), iris ( the student ), toru watanabe ( norwegian wood ), abby ( blood simple )

BACKGROUND.

bethany ellis grows up an only child in manchester, new hampshire. free time is spent cycling around town to pick strawberries from the front garden of a house down the street, becoming lost in state parks over the weekends where pine needles roll underneath her sneaker soles; everything a young girl does. with two loving parents, it is an idyllic childhood.

her parents were happy for a little while. sucked neck-deep in debt from identity fraud, it had slipped their grasp as quickly as it had come about. they did an about-face nearly overnight. classmates signed her a goodbye note before relocating to an odd little commune some ways out of a town up north when she is nine.

she’s now home-schooled, taught more domestic skills than science. she struggled to accept the change; while she wanted to learn about physics and literature graced by the hands of long-dead poets, she was taught to sew until her fingertips were pricked with blood, to take out stains from clothing to the point her hands were raw and angry, and memorise bible verses until they were the only thought left in her head. she would often act out, much to the embarrassment of her parents. too young at the time for any real punishment, they bore the brunt of it at times where she couldn’t see it.

RELIGIOUS FANATICISM TW initiation is on her sixteenth birthday. there’s many details of it she refuses to let known. for some time, the commune stays in the realm of town speculation and wild rumours, a potential church fundraiser for the baptists who think everyone needs salvation, before another girl her age, battered and bruised, manages to flee through miles of forest into town and the sheriff’s department catches wind. 

POLICE TW she’s almost seventeen when torchlight winks through the gaps of the barn’s ant-ridden wooden beams. it’s not a full moon that night. disoriented and huddling with other children on the far side of the barn as the adults chant and float across the dirt floor in a trance, there’s a deafening noise as the rusted iron grooves of the door is forced open and police pour in. many are taken away, her parents included. she’s gifted a crisp new manila folder. in it, a new identity. juniper rothschild. TW END

a family in the middle of nowhere, nevada, take her in. the caseworker overlooks the fact a crucifix graces the wall above her bed’s headboard. they’re nice enough, but to the point it makes her stomach turn. as soon as she’s old enough to, she leaves. 

desperation pushes her far enough to apply for college in new york. there’s one place generous enough to take her, hardship bursary and all; the other is the community college some ways west in carson city. the decision isn’t difficult. but the cold of the city settles into her bones in a way she never comes to accept. eventually, after a grueling engineering degree that tests her organisation limits she moves south. north carolina is warmer. the sun on her face at the pier in irving makes her forget life isn’t as hollow as it often appears.

TRAITS & QUIRKS.

wears long sleeves on the hottest day of the year, and lives in a hoodie, jeans and tattered converse to the point others question whether she’s a glitch in the matrix

makes a conscious effort to cover up, avoid being seen altogether. she’s grown familiar with the idea to draw as little attention to her as possible

following her swim and water polo team years in college, she’s now a junior swim coach for the high school. swimming lets her centre herself

guarded and distrustful. won’t divulge in her family history easily, and keeps the odd urge to journal hidden under lock and key beneath her mattress

lives in a fairly run-down beach shack along dorado road, she thinks the several rats in the roof that call it home are her pets. she talks to them through the ceiling

reading and writing are not easy things for her. numbers come a lot more naturally, with a natural aptitude for it. because she knows she’ll never hold a full time job in her current state, she’s a part time cadd technician at a boutique architecture firm in charlotte

naturally a blond, she rigorously dyes her hair with the cheapest box dye available. it’s fried to death and resembles straw more than actual hair

in more extreme measures to be someone else, her voice has been trained to speak lower than what it is

was dead certain about being a lesbian in her teens, got pissed off when she ended up dating a boy at twenty-two.

paranoid. like, the government is listening into conversations via robotic birds in nearby trees, paranoid. she thinks she’s probably right.

has a gun she bought from a dodgy shop in texas whilst on family vacation in her underwear drawer

almost always reeks of chlorine

horny for class warfare

has a thing for drew barrymore

thinks online mbti quizzes are a military-designed hoax designed to control the masses 

WANTED PLOTS.

cryptid hunting buddies. she’ll pack the coffee thermos, u bring the sandwiches

a previous, fleeting relationship. someone juniper used as an effort to feel more anchored in irving but soon realised it was ugly for her to do people dirty like that :/

she’s fairly lazy, so a person who often sees her like clockwork at cutie’s for midweek dinner

literally anything. let’s plot baybee !

[vinyls-and-valentines]

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Entertainment- Rise Against// Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys- My Chemical Romance

[Text description: 7 sets of lyrics from Entertainment by Rise Against side by side with various lyrics from Danger Days by My Chemical Romance.

1: Zero Percent

“All we are is entertainment caught up in our own derangement/ Tell us what to say and what to do” “Heartbreak, heartbeats/ Got the eyes on you/ And give us something to say/ 'Cause I got something to prove”

2: Vampire Money

“ All we are are pretty faces, picture perfect bottled rage/ Packaged, synthesized versions of you ” “ (Come on!) When you wanna be a movie star/ (Come on!) Play the game and take the band real far/ (Come on!) Play it right and drive a Volvo car/ (Come on!) Pick a fight at an airport bar”

3: We Don’t Need Another Song For California

“ We've all made petty fortunes but we can't afford a life/ Confined to pull out quotes in hotel rooms/ They all scream California and it's toppling empire/ But can't you see the end is coming soon?”

“ Occupations, the opportunity to see yourself in a light [Verse 1] And all the city fires/ And the tabloid lies/ And the television guys/ For the missions and the boulevards/ And the way it is when money's all you got [Pre-Chorus] Stop and stare/ At the accidents and stars that bore you/ We don’t dare to sing another song for California”

4: The Kids From Yesterday

“ Come one, come all, the new sensation guarantees then obligations/ Spotlights follow every single move/ Basking here on ten foot stages, pouty lips and oh so jaded/ All as if we have something to prove”

“ All the cameras watch the accidents and stars you hate/ They only care if you can bleed/ Does the television make you feel the pills you ate/ Or every person that you need to be?”

5: Party Poison

“ And if we cared at all about this unknown plight/ Then we'd do something more to finally make this right ” “ If we were all like you in the end/ Oh, we'd be killing ourselves by sleeping in/ So, hit the lights, I'll do it again”

6: Party Poison

“ Is this only entertainment? Pull the curtains, places please/ We've learned to sing and dance and cry on cue/ But this is more than entertainment in a world so sick with pain/ This is the only thing that's real or true”

“ This ain't a party, get off the dance floor/ You want the get down, here comes the gang war/ You're doing alright, I got the answer/ Cause all the good times, give me, give me good times/ People, tonight! This ain't a party, get off the dance floor/ You want to get down, here comes the encore”

7: Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back

“ We've all made petty fortunes but we can't afford a life/ Confined to pull out quotes in hotel rooms/ They all scream bloody murder over graves already dug/ But can't you see the end!?”

“ I'll tell you all how the story ends/ Where the good guys die and the bad guys win/ Who cares? This ain't about all the friends you made/ But the graffiti they write on your grave”

/End description.]

[kimmyiewrites]

Peggy Reacts

AN: WARNING! The Falcon & the Winter Soldier spoilers ahead! Basically this little drabble is just Peggy reacting to that ending in the first episode set in my Project English Rose verse. This is just a short little drabble. If you want to read Project English Rose click the source link and it’ll take you to the series on AO3. Again SPOILERS AHEAD for the first episode of The Falcon & the Winter Soldier below.

Steve had been given a heads up after the government  tried to persuade him to come out of retirement about the press conference. He was actually rather excited. Sam was about to get the recognition that he deserved. They sat curled up together on the couch, waiting for the press conference to start as if it was some date night movie. Neither of them expected what happened next to happen.

“Please join me in welcoming the new Captain America.” The government official announced before moving out of the way. 

A man ran out, shield in front of his face until he reached the podium. With the shield now lowered it was very clear that not only did they make major changes to the uniform but the man holding the shield was most definitely not Sam Wilson.

Peggy was out of her seat the moment this imposter showed his face. “Who the fuck is that?!” She turned around to face Steve who held no emotion on his face as he scrolled through his phone to find Sam’s number. “Did you know about this?” 

“No, I didn’t. I’m calling Sam now to try and get some answers.” Steve answered calmly which irked Peggy. How could he be so calm about this right now? As if this had some logical explanation.

“Well, he better have a good explanation.” She huffed, turning back to the television. “How could they even do that? What were they thinking? Clearly they weren’t to disrespect all of your work, all you’ve done with that name. What did this guy do to deserve taking on this title? I don’t like this. At all. Something is up. If bloody Hydra…”

“Hydra’s gone, Pegs.”

“Yeah we thought so last time too.”

“Peggy.” He sighed before his attention was taken away from the woman who was standing in front of him. The phone call Steve was making went to voicemail. “Hey Sam, it’s Steve. Gotta say I’m a little surprised. Call me back when you get the chance.” 

“I will come out of retirement for this.” She continued after he finished.

He reached out to her and brought her back to sit down. “We are not to go anywhere near this unless specifically asked.”

“Fine, I’ll just call Sharon then. She needs to have this on her radar.”

“Better.” Steve chuckled. 

“I’m still not happy about it.”

“I know. Hopefully Sam will call back. You know he was a little unsure about taking the shield.”

Peggy nodded. “I know but I refuse to believe that he willingly gave it to that guy.” She waved her hand vaguely in the television’s direction.

“I’m sure he didn’t.”

“How are you not more upset about this?”

Steve shrugged. “I was just a kid from Brooklyn before the world knew me as Captain America. Am I upset that that’s not Sam up there? Sure. It should be him up there but for whatever reason, it isn’t so it just means someone else, some guy from somewhere in America was chosen. Things will work out. We just have to trust that it will.”

She let out a heavy sigh and rolled her eyes. “Oh you and your unwavering optimism.”