#vernon black eye lyrics

[kpoplrcfiles]

[Single] VERNON (버논) - Black Eye

VERNON (버논) – Black EyeRelease Date: ��2022.12.23Genre: RockLanguage: Korean Track List:1. Black EyeDownload .lrc file here:Link 1

[betterviceversa]

i got a couple friends

just me, myself and I

[bratzkoo]

barely yours | mingyu pt. 4

Author: bratzkoo | navi Pairing: rockstar! mingyu x reader Word Count: 1.5k Genre: fluff, angst, smut-ish Rating: NC-17 Possible Warnings: written in third person.

Summary: you flirt, you fuck, but when you hint that you want to be more he dismissed it as if you’re joking… and when you decide to ignore him he comes back with flowers at your doorstep.

taglist (hit me up if you wanna be added): ​​@ca-clover, @junniesoleilkth , @gaslysainz , @darkerrdaze , @mansaaay , @childish-fear , @lixisoul99 , @cherrylovescheol , @yuyu1024 , @tacolombe , @black-swan-blog27 , @tulipndtale , @xuimhao , @cookiearmy

requests are open, but you can just say hi! | masterlist

The pulsing beat of HHT's latest single, "Shadow," reverberated through the stadium, drowning out the deafening roar of 50,000 fans. As the final chords faded away, Mingyu raised his guitar triumphantly, his chest heaving with exertion and adrenaline. The crowd's cheers reached a fever pitch as confetti rained down from above.

"Thank you, London!" Seungcheol's voice boomed through the speakers. "You've been an amazing audience! We are HHT, and we love you!"

As they took their final bow, Mingyu's eyes swept across the sea of light sticks and banners. Five years ago, he could never have imagined this level of success. HHT had gone from rising stars in the K-pop scene to a global phenomenon, selling out stadiums across the world and topping international charts.

The irony of their latest hit being named "Shadow" wasn't lost on Mingyu. The song, with its haunting melody and lyrics about chasing after something just out of reach, had resonated deeply with him during the writing process. Now, as he stood on stage, he couldn't help but think about the shadows in his own life – the lingering feelings and unresolved emotions that he'd never quite been able to shake.

Backstage, as the euphoria of the performance began to fade, Mingyu found himself in a familiar state of restlessness. He scrolled through his phone, barely registering the congratulatory messages and social media notifications.

"Looking for something specific?" Vernon's voice startled him. The younger man was grinning knowingly, a towel draped around his neck.

Mingyu locked his phone quickly, perhaps a bit too quickly. "Just checking the time. We have that afterparty, right?"

Vernon's grin widened. "Uh-huh. And it has nothing to do with a certain collection launch happening in Paris tonight?"

Mingyu felt heat rise to his cheeks. Was he that transparent? "I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled, but he knew it was useless. Vernon had always been too perceptive for his own good.

"Sure, sure," Vernon chuckled, clapping Mingyu on the shoulder. "Just remember, we have a flight to catch tomorrow afternoon. Try not to stay up all night stalking social media, okay?"

As Vernon walked away, Mingyu sighed and unlocked his phone again. This time, he didn't pretend as he navigated to Instagram and searched for a familiar name: @YN_Beauty.

The latest post showed an elegantly decorated venue, champagne flutes and flowers artfully arranged around sleek packaging of skincare products. The caption read: "Tonight's the night! Can't wait to share our new 'Solène' collection with all of you. ✨ #YNBeauty #SolèneLaunch"

Mingyu's heart skipped a beat, then began racing. "Solène." The name hit him like a physical blow, memories flooding back of a night long ago, of whispered confessions and intimate moments.

He remembered tracing the delicate script on Y/N's hip, the tattoo hidden from the world but shared with him in a moment of vulnerability. "Solène," she had explained, her voice soft in the darkness of her bedroom. "It means 'sun' in French. A reminder to always seek the light, even in the darkest times."

Now, seeing that name splashed across Y/N's beauty campaign, Mingyu felt a complex mix of emotions. Pride at her success, nostalgia for their shared past, and an ache for what they had lost.

His thumb hovered over the like button, trembling slightly. After a moment's hesitation, he tapped it, watching the heart turn red. It was the first time he'd interacted with Y/N's social media in years.

Four years. It had been four years since he'd last seen Y/N in person. Four years since she'd left her position as HHT's manager to pursue her own dreams. They'd kept in touch at first – casual texts, the occasional phone call. But as both of their careers skyrocketed, those communications had become less and less frequent, until they'd stopped altogether.

Now, Y/N was a celebrity in her own right. Her beauty and skincare lines had taken the world by storm, and she had become a fixture at fashion weeks and high-profile events. She was a regular on magazine covers, her face gracing billboards in major cities around the globe. The girl who had once managed their schedules and scolded them for being late to practice was now a sophisticated socialite, moving in circles that sometimes felt worlds away from the music industry.

But "Solène"? What did it mean that she had chosen that name, so personal and intimate, for her new collection? Was it just a coincidence, or was Y/N sending a message? To him? To the world? Mingyu's mind raced with possibilities, each more unlikely than the last.

He found himself opening their old text thread, scrolling up to see their last exchange. It was from over a year ago – a simple "Happy Birthday" from him, and a "Thanks! Hope you're doing well" from her. How had they let things get so distant?

Mingyu's finger hovered over the keyboard. Should he message her? Congratulate her on the launch? Ask about the name?

"Mingyu! Car's waiting!" Wonwoo's voice snapped him out of his reverie.

Shaking off his tumultuous thoughts, Mingyu plastered on his best idol smile and made his way to the exit. He had an afterparty to attend, fans to meet, an image to maintain. But even as he posed for selfies and signed autographs, his mind remained fixed on a glittering event happening across the Channel, where a woman he'd never quite gotten over was celebrating a triumph that echoed with their shared past.

Meanwhile, in Paris, Y/N was in her element. The launch party for her newest skincare collection, "Solène," was in full swing. The who's who of the fashion and beauty world mingled in the opulent venue, the air filled with the delicate scent of her latest creations – a complex blend of fragrances that reminded her of late-night conversations and stolen moments backstage.

"Y/N, darling, this is absolutely divine," gushed a famous actress, sampling one of the new serums. "And the name! So intriguing. Is there a story behind it?"

Y/N's smile faltered for just a moment before she regained her composure. "Every product tells a story," she replied smoothly. "This one's about finding light in unexpected places."

As she made her rounds, shaking hands and accepting congratulations, Y/N couldn't help but feel a sense of surreality. How had the girl who once spent her days wrangling a bunch of rowdy K-pop idols become... this? A successful entrepreneur, a name brand, a socialite with an invitation to every A-list event?

Shaking off his tumultuous thoughts, Mingyu plastered on his best idol smile and made his way to the exit. He had an afterparty to attend, fans to meet, an image to maintain. But even as he posed for selfies and signed autographs, his mind remained fixed on a glittering event happening across the Channel, where a woman he'd never quite gotten over was celebrating a triumph that echoed with their shared past.

She excused herself for a moment, stepping out onto a balcony for a breath of fresh air. The Parisian night sparkled before her, the Eiffel Tower illuminated in the distance. Y/N closed her eyes, letting the cool breeze caress her face.

In moments like these, when the whirlwind of her life slowed for just a second, she often found her thoughts drifting to a certain tall, handsome guitarist. She wondered what Mingyu was doing right now. Was he on stage somewhere, sending thousands of fans into a frenzy with his soulful voice and killer riffs? Was he in the studio, crafting the next hit that would top charts worldwide?

Y/N pulled out her phone, giving in to the urge she'd been fighting all night. She opened Twitter, quickly finding HHT's official account. Their latest post showed the band on stage in London, confetti raining down as they took their final bow. Her eyes were drawn immediately to Mingyu, his face alight with the joy of performance.

A familiar ache bloomed in her chest. They'd promised to stay friends, to support each other as they grew. But somewhere along the way, daily texts had become weekly, then monthly, then... nothing. Their lives had taken them in different directions, their paths diverging more with each passing year.

"There you are!" Her assistant's voice startled Y/N out of her thoughts. "The CEO of Sephora wants to discuss potential exclusive distribution deals. Are you ready to go back in?"

Y/N took a deep breath, schooling her features into a polite smile. "Of course. Lead the way."

As she re-entered the party, slipping back into her role as the poised, successful businesswoman, Y/N couldn't quite shake thoughts of Mingyu from her mind. She absently touched her hip, where the "Solène" tattoo still rested, hidden beneath layers of designer fabric. She had worked hard for this life, this success. She should be happy, fulfilled.

So why did that one little word, now emblazoned on products around the world, make her feel more vulnerable than she had in years?

Little did Y/N know, halfway across Europe, Mingyu was asking himself the same question. As both of them went through the motions of their glamorous but separate lives, neither could shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, it was time to bridge the gap that had grown between them.

But fate, it seemed, wasn't done with Mingyu and Y/N just yet.

[tinylongwing]

Vide Noir's dual narrative structure

All right, here it is, me making good on at least one of my meta threats. Lord Huron's album Vide Noir can be interpreted as an album with two parallel, contrasting narratives - that of the lead protagonist Buck Vernon, as well as that of Johnnie Redmayne.

Disclaimer: this is an interpretation I think is pretty sound and well-reasoned, but I make no claim to any of this being proven canon information.

---

For those unfamiliar or who need a reminder, the primary narrative is this: the year is 1967, and we start near the end of Buck's journey, as he awakens from being black-brained (Lost in Time and Space). Having just suffered an overdose on the drug vide noir, his memories are slow to return to him, but return they do - his fiancee, Leigh/Lee Green (from here on Leigh but both spellings have been used), left him without a word one night, and he decided to follow, heading west to Los Angeles from their home town of Detroit, Michigan. He's been struggling to find her, checking every bar in the city in case she was booked to sing at one as her move was the result of her chasing her dream of becoming a singer. He doesn't remember a lot about himself, really, after that overdose, but he remembers her, and his love for her makes him desperate to find her.

We're then taken back to the night he left to find her (Never Ever) and his journey is mostly linear from there - he meets a fortune teller, Lady Moonbeam, who tells him that pursuing Leigh will end in his ruin, but he refuses to accept her advice and pushes on (Ancient Names I & II). He laments that he's been some kind of fuckup, that maybe he chased Leigh away through his own behavior, but that he still loves her and begs for her to return (Wait By the River). At some point around here he also learns of the drug vide noir and contemplates using it himself for clues.

(Note that unlike in the movie, in the album, nothing suggests that Buck suffered from a murder attempt by Z'Oiseau's henchmen but that instead he may have overdosed himself in an attempt to find Lee. However, there's plenty of reason to suspect that the film is the canon interpretation here anyway and the henchmen kidnapping Buck just doesn't make for a song I guess.)

One way or another, he winds up black-brained, where some deep existential truths of the universe are revealed to him (Secret of Life - namely that everyone and everything dies in the end, and that a human life is brief, fleeting, and ultimately meaningless within the context of the universe as a whole). He somehow reawakens rather than dying (Back from the Edge) and, again, understands that nothing he does will ever matter, has never mattered*, but that *even though* he's suffered greatly already on this quest, he's still committed to trying to find Leigh, pitting himself against that careless universe (The Balancer's Eye).

So he keeps searching (When the Night is Over) until he finds a clue, or a helping hand of some sort, that leads him on the right path to his beloved Leigh (Moonbeam). We get one more reminder of the forces at work here - vide noir is some awful stuff, it nearly killed him, Leigh herself is hooked on it now, it shows you terrible truths and nightmares beyond human comprehension (Vide Noir) - and when all is said and done, as Buck thinks he's about to "rescue" Leigh from her fate and bring her back to his fantasy of a perfect happy life together, she rejects him. He came all this way through time and space, and she doesn't love him at all in the end (Emerald Star).

---

I consider this the primary narrative here because it makes use of all the songs on the album, it has a clear start and ending and a mostly linear structure, and the album basically serves as a soundtrack to Buck's fool's errand. The film agrees - every scene is centered around his journey, after all. But we have context from Lord Huron's other albums, as well as the lyrics and musical stylings of multiple songs on Vide Noir, that show us that Buck isn't necessarily the only narrator on this album. Strange Trails, of course, came out three years prior, and features songs by multiple fictional bands performing songs which serve as narration for a diverse cast of characters. Unlike on Strange Trails, where each track has a writer or band specifically named and assigned to it as well as a character narrative, Vide Noir does not give us such conclusive information, but we can still put clues together to understand at least some of who the in-universe performers might be on Vide Noir.

Most likely, multiple of these songs are by the Buck Vernon Band - this is pretty obvious. Buck's semi-autobiographical music is all over Strange Trails, usually referencing a girl he loves, sometimes referencing that the girl left him, often giving her different names, all starting with L (Fool For Love's "Lily", and "Louisa").

But the other band that we can easily identify as performers on Vide Noir are the Phantom Riders. For those who need an introduction, this is the band composed of four members of the World Enders gang, with Dale Redmayne at the helm as lead writer. They were seen previously on Strange Trails as well, with banger surf/rockabilly hits like Hurricane, Until the Night Turns, and The World Ender. As a storytelling tool, they are primarily brought in to tell us about the man-turned-undead horror entity known as The World Ender himself, and then otherwise mostly we get their songs about Dale's brother Johnnie Redmayne, who is introduced to us in Strange Trails as a fun-loving and presumably fairly young guy, a thrillseeker and hedonist, who lives for the moment as if the world could end any day. The Buck Vernon Band jumps in between some of these songs with an interjection to tell us that wait, Johnnie is dead, or was, but he got back up. In Dead Man's Hand, Buck speculates that Johnnie could have been murdered or may have killed himself, accidentally or intentionally, upon first seeing him. It's in Vide Noir that we actually learn more about the circumstances of Johnnie's death.

Before we get to that, let's first identify which Vide Noir songs are by the Phantom Riders. This isn't all that hard to do. Any song that references The World Ender is presumably theirs - that gives us Secret of Life right away ("I sit alone in the dark, and I try to remember the words you spoke when you summoned the Ender"). This is reinforced in the Alive From Whispering Pines webseries, episode 423 - Secret of Life, when played, shows a skeleton prop the band has jokingly referred to as Cobb Avery on their social media posts in the past, and after the song ends in this episode, the tune continues in a slowed and distorted fashion through a clip of a WBUB movie version of Dead Man's Hand showing Johnnie rising from the pavement when Buck is about to bury him.

Ancient Names Parts I and II are presumably written by the same band as a two-part song. In the Vide Noir film, the Phantom Riders are performing Part II in the underground club. Additionally, in Alive From Whispering Pines episode 426, after Tubbs Tarbell is done reminiscing about the band and their nihilism, Ancient Names Part II is the next song covered - and often in this series, the structure of the segments between songs are intentional and related to either the song they precede or the song they follow, so it's likely that the placement of the Phantom Riders' appearance followed by a track they're associated with is meant to help confirm them as the performers. In addition, Ancient Names Part I references a fortune teller, and we know from the film that the fortune teller in question, Lady Moonbeam, is associated with the World Enders and knows the Redmaynes.

The last track on Vide Noir that is most likely theirs is the title track, Vide Noir. We have two points of evidence for this - one lyrical ("Many evils have I enjoyed, prowling the night raising hell with the boys" which feels like a pretty direct reference to the World Enders' nighttime violence) and one musical - the main melody of Vide Noir is identical to that of Ancient Names (and Fortune Teller's Theme, actually). In Strange Trails, using the same melody for multiple songs was an easy way to tie Frankie Lou's songs together, and here we can see that it ties two Phantom Riders tracks together directly, indicating that not only are they both by the same band, but that Vide Noir is a followup to Ancient Names part I, in which our fortune teller did warn us things would go very, very wrong.

(And besides all of that, the Phantom Riders tracks on Vide Noir all tend to be similar in musical style - psychedelia-flavored garage rock with a heavy bass line, in contrast to other songs on the album.)

With those songs identified, we should also be aware of just how much Lord Huron seem to love their dual narratives. In Strange Trails, we have a really concrete example of this with The Night We Met. This song was in-universe written by Frankie Lou, presumably about her doomed relationship with Z'Oiseau and how much she wishes she had never met him to begin with (as she echoes in her dialogue in the Vide Noir film when speaking to Buck in her dressing room). However, the music video for this song shows not Frankie and Z'Oiseau, but instead Buck, driving west, while reflecting on his own failure to keep Leigh, wishing he could go back in time and fix things, and meanwhile kind of hallucinating her as he goes. In the album Long Lost, we get another dual narrative in I Lied, which is performed by Donny and Midge but is also sung by Leigh in Vide Noir, foreshadowing her breakup with and lack of love for Buck. There are certainly other dual narratives in both of those albums to be found as well - so what we should keep in mind here is that often, songs can be written and performed by a character or band in order to narrate for themselves or someone close to them, but that just as in our real-world movie soundtracks or our favorite character playlists on spotify, those songs can be applied to other characters in different (but somewhat similar) situations than the ones they were written for.

So! We have four Phantom Riders tracks on Vide Noir, all of which were presumably not written originally in-universe about Buck Vernon, because why would they be, Buck and the World Enders only briefly cross paths and at the very least we know that Ancient Names Part II was written well before he ever met them. Instead, it makes the most sense if like the bulk of the Phantom Riders songs, these tracks serve Johnnie's narration instead.

---

If that's the case, what does that give us? Winding around and through Buck's journey is this second storyline. Johnnie Redmayne, having used and enjoyed vide noir himself abundantly ("I had a vision tonight that the world was ending" as one probable example), decides it's time to get his hands on bulk quantities so as to get the Enders in on controlling the flow of the drug in LA rather than letting Z'Oiseau maintain a monopoly, thereby also increasing revenue for the members of the gang.

It's Moonbeam who warns him to knock it off first. We know, thanks to the film, that he'd spoken to her at some point about his plans to investigate the source of the drug at Tobey's arcade and try to get his hands on some to sell. Whatever his exact plan was, in Ancient Names Part 1, Moonbeam warns him that pursuing this is going to get him killed. Vide noir isn't just a drug, it's something extremely dangerous, tied to dangerous people, and he needs to get away from "her" (and note that frequently throughout music history, drugs have been personified as a "her" or an unnamed lover, whether for poetic reasons or to evade censorship that might come from talking directly about drug use - and Cursed, off Strange Trails, is one more in-universe example, where "her" refers both to Leigh Green and to drug use, specifically vide noir).

Immediately afterward, Ancient Names Part 2, in addition to serving as a very classic sort of World Enders nihilism anthem, can easily be interpreted as Johnnie saying "fuck that, I do what I want, you only live one life anyway and even if it kills me, I want to make my mark before I go out." Death is something hypothetical - sure, it'll get him some day, it gets everyone, and maybe Moonbeam is even right, but he isn't going to let her warning stop him.

On Strange Trails, Buck and Johnnie cross paths at Dead Man's Hand. On this album they only cross thematically, and the pivotal moment of intersection might be Secret of Life. This song may be the point at which Buck learns some forbidden secrets revealed by taking vide noir as discussed above, but its lyrics speak a lot more specifically to Johnnie's experience, implying some connection between him, vide noir, and the World Ender.

It may be that as we see with Buck in the film, perhaps Johnnie too has suffered the effects of being black-brained prior to taking it due to the time and space-bending effects of the drug (notice, for example, in Strange Trails we get Johnnie's story in a scrambled chronological order) and here he's confronted with the harsh truths of what those past visions of his possible future mean for him: he has been set on a path that is no longer avoidable due to his eventual future overdose. So perhaps it's at this point that he acknowledges that he is going to die sooner rather than later and that his life and death will not have meant anything to the greater cosmos, but this information, which was new to Buck, is not something Johnnie fears. Johnnie is hardly new to this point of view. He's seen past echoes of the knowledge imparted by vide noir throughout his life, both in his future visions of the end of the world (again see Until The Night Turns) and in the knowledge passed on through other World Enders, including their own motto ("The fair, the brave, the good must die", or in Secret of Life here, "The darkness comes for all of us").

(As an aside, there's still a lot to unravel with Secret of Life that I haven't touched on here. It's a fascinating song with some really mysterious lyrics. I've speculated at length in the LH discord about some additional interpretations this song could yield but won't veer off topic here.)

And yet despite what looks like a very certain and dire end, Johnnie maintains hope that perhaps he, too, will live past this. Because if Cobb Avery did, why can't he? This is part of the gang's core mythos - their founder is a dead man. He clawed his way back out of the grave for revenge, they thought it was just so fucking cool that he was unkillable that they had to join him, and together they dismantled the Winthrop Corporation, one murder at a time. When the police finally caught up to him, they lynched him - but the noose did nothing, for he was already dead, and now in the form of a skeleton, he called the gang to his side (see Strange Trails: The World Ender comic book). In the ensuing chaos, he flees, the gang heads west and relocates to east Los Angeles, and in the time contemporary with the events of Vide Noir, he is still present among them but this appears to be unknown to the public (Daily Trails prop, by Kim Berens, used in both Vide Noir and Alive From Whispering Pines where it was modified to Ten years later).

Whether The World Ender is readily visible to and known by most members of the gang at this point is unknown, but we know that those who were black-brained can see him (in the film, Buck sees him approaching, bumps into him, plunges into a hallucination of his own future, and when he comes too, the Ender is gone). Given the Secret of Life lyrics, it's reasonable to guess that Johnnie at least can see the World Ender just fine and one way or another, in speaking with him and in conjunction with consuming vide noir, has learned enough secret knowledge to make some kind of choice - and this is what later enables him, too, to drag his way back to the world of the living.

Fate catches up to Johnnie and as we learn in the film, his death was at the hands of Z'Oiseau's henchmen for trying to gain access to dealing in vide noir. Like Buck, he is black-brained - forced to swallow enough of the drug to kill him. And so the track Vide Noir opens with the Fortune Teller's Theme previously heard in Ancient Names Part 1, and that tune is woven through the track - Moonbeam's "I warned you, I told you so" to both of these fools who disregarded her advice. Although, again, the lyrics are clearly meant primarily to narrate for Johnnie - "Many evils have I enjoyed, prowling the night raising hell with the boys, getting high on a pure black void" sounds a lot more like what Johnnie gets up to than Buck. We are given a glimpse of his last words and final thoughts as life slips away and his consciousness is sent straight to the final edge of the cosmos.

---

So ultimately, this is what we're left with:

Vide Noir is an album that tells the story of Buck Vernon, whose fiancee has left him. His journey culminates in a near-brush with death, in finding Leigh, and in learning that she does not love him and that he's nothing, his life is worth nothing more than dust and that none of it mattered or will ever matter, that once he eventually dies he will vanish and be forgotten in time.

Vide Noir also tells the story of Johnnie Redmayne, who for once tries to do something that isn't just for his own hedonistic pleasure but that might actually help bring in money to support his friends and family, but he's too headstrong and impulsive to listen to the warnings he's given, and is killed in the attempt.

One lives who probably shouldn't have and comes out at rock bottom and now has to work out how to move on from here, and one dies a nihilist who should presumably just accept the inevitability of death, but has the knowledge and absolute stubborn determination to enable his eventual return, following in the footsteps of Cobb Avery.

And what happens to both of them afterward? Well, we don't know. Hopefully some day (SOON?? BEN PLEASE) we'll get the opportunity to find out!

[svt-kiki]

𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐀; 𝖽𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋 𝗆𝗒 𝗏𝗈𝗂𝖼𝖾 ? ── 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖽𝗈, 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 ? ── 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗌 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝖺 𝗌𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅 𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗌𝗈𝗇. [...] 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘰 ■■■■ 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦. 𝗐𝗁𝗒 𝖽𝗂𝖽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝖽𝗈 𝗂𝗍 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 ?

CINEMA is the first mini album by KIKI from SEVENTEEN, released on November 18th, 2024. the EP includes six song, including the title track “TO. X” and the japanese single “BAD MODE”. in this album, she focuses 90s / 00s R&B and pop genre throughout the tracks, be able to create the nostalgic and cozy mood, emphasizes her beginning of new career path.

DRAMA　──　composed by kiki, woozi, vernon / lyric by kiki, bumzu

HELL IN HEAVEN　──　composed by kiki, bumzu / lyric by kiki

TO. X　──　title track* / composed by kiki, bumzu / lyric by kiki

TEST DRIVE　──　composed by kiki, woozi, dino / lyric by kiki, woozi

BAD MODE　──　japanese track / composed by kiki, wooozi, bumzu / lyric by kiki

BYE BYE BLUE　──　composed by kiki, wooozi, bumzu / lyric by kiki, wonwoo, woozi

　　✶　spoiler alert　...　all of the songs excluding bad mode are korean songs, the originals are just inspo .

music video concepts

CW ... mentions of blood, dead body, homicide

kiki builds the concept of the music video based on several thriller movie, such as cure ( 1997 ), the handmaiden ( 2016 ), thelma and louise ( 1991 ) and silence of the lambs ( 1991 ).

( ONE ) the mv starts with the shot of crime scene. while there are many investigators out there, kiki, detective, arrives on the scene as only female detective. lots of flashes, bloods, and a dead body — she’s stressed, but trying to not register on facade. because the slightest hint of humaneness will be deadly. not from the criminals, but people around her. shortly after, they catch the suspect, bring it to the station. as take the suspect to the interrogation room, she is looked from all of other staffs who she passes by. everyone, is watching her — watching them. even when she gets on the elevator alone, the people around her are all men, clear reference from silence of the lambs.

( TWO ) takes deep breath, she enters the interrogation room with the start of second verse. surprisingly, the suspect, wears oversized clothes that cover the figure with messy hair, looks exactly like kiki. the camera centers on two kiki who sitting across the table from each other. one is a detective, the other is a suspect. the second kiki avoids the answer, replies abstract words, makes other detectives mad and upset. however, she — the first kiki, remains calm and silent. times passes by, the other male investigators start to fade away, leave only two kiki in the room. when she realizes, the environment becomes different. the two are in the dark abandoned house. the more they talk, the more memories flashes black on her mind. the image of the flame from lighter, water spills onto the floor, cutting the wall in the letter of X — the tear falls from her eye. then suddenly, she is snapped back into the reality.

( THREE ) with the bridge flows as a calm before the storm, kiki the detective remembers more. the gaze from surroundings. the pressure, the tension she feels. everything, as her. with a dramatic final chorus, she takes another kiki’s hand, run away from the burning station. they run, holding hands together and run. the two get on the vintage open car, run far far away to the free. to the place no one stares at them, or looks down on them like the people used to.

𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑; 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗍 𝗎𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗆��... 𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒’𝗋𝖾 𝗈𝗎𝗍𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾. 𝖻𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗂𝗇𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝗆𝖾 𝗂𝗌 𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗍𝗒. 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾’𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗇𝗀.

(    📁    )   :   NAVI   :  MASTER LIST     

(    tag list    )   :   @smh-anon @jennwonwoo @angie-x3 @scarlet789

[gotta-winwin]

SEVENTEEN'S CYANA'S PROFILE

૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა > BASIC INFO

NAMES ->

birth name ── cyana yue chinese name ── 岳安娜 (yue an na) korean name ── 유소연 (yu so yeon)

NICKNAMES ->

seventeen ── nana, yue, yeonie vernon/joshua ── cy, anna minghao/jun ── 月亮 (yue liang / moon) wonwoo ── yana

BIRTHDATE & LOCATION ->

birthdate ── dec 27 1999 birthplace ── vancouver, canada residency ── vancouver, canada (1999 - 2016) los angeles, california (2016 - 2019) seoul, korea (2019 - present) nationality ── chinese-canadian ethnicity ── chinese

LANGUAGES ->

english ── 98% (fluent) chinese ── 60% (can speak, cannot read or write) korean ── 10% to 80% (from debut to present)

PHYSICAL DETAILS ->

height ── 160cm (5'2") weight ── 47kg (107lbs) blood type ── AB hair color ── brown (naturally) eye color ── brown

GENDER/SEXUALITY ->

gender ── female sexuality ── bisexual pronouns ── she/her relationship status ── unknown

૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა > CAREER

NAME ->

stage name ── cyana hangul ── 시아나 origin ── when deciding her stage name, she decided to continue the name she used as a child actor in the states to keep continuity.

INDUSTRY ->

company ── disney junior (2016-2019), pledis entertaiment (2019-present) trainee period ── 4 years in acting, singing and dancing

IN SEVENTEEN ->

debut age ── 19 years old subunit ── vocal team positions ── main vocalist, sub dancer, co-producer, visual, twin maknae representative emojis ── 🐰 individual fandom name ── cyans

૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა > PERSONAL

MBTI ->

infj-t > [the advocate] description ── an advocate excels in creativity and imagination, and is known to be a perfectionist. They have intuitive understanding of complex systems and human nature, sensitive to criticism and have a tendency to internalize stress. They're able to make strong connections with people easily although shy.

PHOBIAS->

autophobia — fear of being alone agoraphobia — fear of large crowds

LIKES ->

late night walks, dogs with soft fur, black cats, diy activities, harry potter universe, watching movies and tv shows, heart to heart talks, skinship, arranging flowers, writing lyrics

DISLIKES ->

loud noises, jumpscares, horror movies with children or dolls, crowded spaces, misinformation, eggs, swallowing pills, hot weather, casual cruelty

FAVOURITES ->

color — lilac purple, sky blue, navy movies / tv shows — harry potter (specifically POA), criminal minds, grey's anatomy, modern family, the office, little women, one piece, falling into your smile, american psycho, the perks of being a wallflower emojis ��� 😭😰🤗👍🤍 season — autumn / spring

[fairyhaos]

seventeen and bts songs

seventeen as different bts songs!

notes: this was originally meant to be a thought but, uh. it became too long. (also if anyone wants svt as seventeen songs or txt songs, ill make an exception to my no requests law Just For That 🤭)

masterlist

seungcheol

on. the power, the 'never giving up' energy, the 'idgaf if you hate me' energy, the 'look how far we've come, do you really think you can beat us?' energy is just. very very him. he has pride in himself and his group, and rightfully so, and that's exactly what this song talks about.

jeonghan

love maze. it's so.... pretty. the entire song just has such pretty vibes, like some sort of iridescent silk, and the kind of sparkly, 'just trust me' vibes make me think of jeonghan? it feels like winks across a room, running hand in hand from a boring convention to god knows where, like loving endlessly with jeonghan.

joshua

serendipity. okay, am i jimin biased? yes. and am i joshua biased? also yes. so is this a little bit biased too?? ... yeah but also the 'let me love you' vibes of serendipity, the gentle, lovely, adoring nature of the song fits joshua so much okay. serendipity reminds me of soft colours and joshua is a soft aura, so what other song could he be?

junhui

moon. it's like, about an awe-filled love, an adoration, an almost shy love too? it feels very junhui because of the sweetness and adorable nature of it. also it's as im typing this that i realize it corresponds with, like . "moon" junhui. moon junhui. wen junhui. ig it was meant to be

hoshi

dope. the hyped nature of the song!!!! the 'im the best' energy!!!! the 'carving my own path that's like no other' vibes!!!! you can't tell me this isn't hoshi. it's just such a... hype song. i really can't find another way to explain it, but it has the same bounding energy as hoshi

wonwoo

fly to my room. maybe a bit of an unexpected one, but there's a sort of tired, grateful comfort to fly to my room? like, it feels like aching feet being placed in someone's lap, sitting on the couch you both own, in the place you both call home. the naturalness, the domesticity, it all feels like wonwoo.

woozi

film out. okay this one i can't really explain, but the gentle, calm vibes give me a woozi feeling. it's like rainbows, like delicate glasses, like the fragile beauty of woozi. plus it also feels like something he would compose: like, fallin flower? downpour???

minghao

black swan. not only due to the royal, elegant vibes of the song, but because it talks about dance and about the self and about loss and love all at once, and don't you think that sort of thoughtful, soul-searching type of lyrics fit minghao so, so well?

mingyu

boy in luv. it's like, kinda grungy, kinda bad boy, and that's like the vibes that mingyu tries to give off. but it also talks about lovesick boys and they were so Young back then that it makes me go "aww" whenever i watch the mv like they're little puppies or smth 😭 and that's literally me with mingyu even if he's stripping during concerts or whatever

dokyeom

mikrokosmos. i was debating between this and euphoria, but it's ultimately mikrokosmos for dokyeom because it's just so soul-ascendingly glittering. it's magical, it's sparkly-eyed, it's full of smiles and happy ever afters and that in itself is dokyeom. also the talking of universes and stars??? stars are for dokyeom's eyes and the way he sings, so of course he's mikrokosmos.

seungkwan

autumn leaves. autumn leaves, or dead leaves (ive never looked into why it has 2 names lmao) is a very yearning, wistful song that really fills me with Emotions whenever i listen to it. but it's also powerful, rich, and it feels a lot like seungkwan's voice and his strength to carry on

vernon

boyz with fun. it's such a cool funky adorable song fr!! vv much vernon vibes. i can imagine him listening to this with his headphones and his beanie and just bopping his head while walking and accidentally tripping over a loose stone on the pavement. it's very vernon actually.

chan

magic shop. idk, i can't explain it, but the comforting and sweet and magical kind of vibes that fit chan. it's youthful, not in an innocent or childish way, but like the memory of youth, emanating the "forever young" message that bts often presented. i think chan encapsulates that very well.

request guidelines

reactions tags: @jeonginssa @magicaltonaru @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @turningcarat @zarara @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @iheartyujin @summery-bat @newgirlygirl @moonlitskiiies @ejspencer14 @mirxzii @wonranghaeee @saythename-chess @yonabutnotyuna @youthoughtiwasfeelingyou @crackedpumpkin @wqnwoos @sunshinekyeom-sang @ocyeanicc @zozojella @thesmellofcoffeeandrain @kthstrawberryshortcake-main @kawennote09 @a-wandering-stay @icyminghao @nananacomeonnnn @valenhui @sweet-like-caramel @hansolaria @gam3bo1z @marisblogg @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @chansburgah @pepperonijem @jeonride @kellesvt

[wooahaeruby]

Chapter 17: A Serious of Unfortunate Events

Chapter Word Count: 5,564

Anything in Bold Italics are Korean/Another language.

TW: Soul Bond Withdrawal, Things go wrong.

Master List | Prev | Next

In the weeks leading up to the Japan Dome tour spots, Seventeen were extremely busy. 

Vernon was in fact recording a music video for Black Eye and you were able to visit the set briefly with a few of the members. The image he was going for was definitely different than anything else. Whoever had the bright idea to put him in dark eyeliner and a grungy look needed a pay raise because he looked good . Some of the lyrics were a little questionable (“ Why spitting in people’s mouths?” ) and you were a small bit mad that they couldn’t just let him say fuck , but overall it was an amazing song that you’ve had to be careful not to hum when out somewhere as to not leak it. 

Practices for the tour were much more serious than any other practices you’ve seen so far. While many of the songs were the same, there were a few added songs, mainly the Japanese releases, and they needed to rehearse formations and lyrics. Jeonghan, though well versed in Japanese, did ask for your help when practicing, mainly asking you to talk in the language around him so he was more immersed. Soonyoung was happy to join in on the conversations (even the gossipy conversations), and between breaks and meals, many of the others did reach out for some help in their pronunciation or sayings. 

“ Ruby-ah,” Jihoon grumbled, taking your phone from your hand after another message came in from Joshua and Jeonghan. 

Holding your hands in the air where your phone once was, you look from your empty hands to Jihoon who was laying with his head in your lap. “ I was helping them with something.” 

“And I’m here, you know, the soulmate, one fated to be with you forever, hanging out with you.” 

“ Then this sounds like a great time to start on dinner, don’t you think?” When you pushed his head off your lap and got up, he whined . 

“ Come on, why can’t you just pay attention to me at home? They are always butting in when you come to practice.” 

“Why are you being so clingy?” You asked in return, pushing his hair back and leaning down to place a kiss to his forehead. “ You have spent more time here than at your actual home, I’m always with you, Jihoonie. I’m not going anywhere.” 

Jihoon sat up, rubbing his hands over his face, taking a deep breath in and letting it out as a drawn out sigh. “ I’ve had this…bad feeling in my stomach for the last couple days.” 

Concerned, you sat back down, running a hand up and down his back gently. He sighed again, ruffling his hair. “Do you wanna talk about it?” When he didn’t answer right away, you sat behind him and leaned back against the pile of pillows you were previously laying against. You placed both hands on his shoulders and spread your legs for him to lay back against your chest which he gladly fell back into. 

“ It’s probably nerves.” He bumped his head back against your chest, taking the hands that were over his shoulders and pulling them until your hands were linked over his chest. “ Between working on new music, traveling, all the stress, it’s nothing to be too concerned about. I’m definitely overthinking a few things and moving forward after the tour isn’t going to slow down at all either.” 

“If it means anything, I think you are doing great with the hand you are being dealt. And you aren’t alone, you have all twelve of the guys you call your family, you have Bumzu-nim, and you have me to lean on when you need it.” 

Leaning his head back, he peered at you through his eyelashes, studying your face in silent thought. 

“What?” 

“ Nothing.” He settled back in, “ Just thinking.” 

While you raised a brow, you didn’t question it. “ Don’t think too hard, you might hurt something.” He pinched your forearm and you yelped, pulling your hands back towards your chest. “Rude…”

“ What do you mean the soulmate travel visa expired?” Both him, a member of his security, and Ruby were confused. 

“ Because you are not a South Korean citizen, you’d need to file for a permanent soulmate visa to fly or change your passport to a Korean Soulmate Passport.” The woman behind the counter was so patient but he was ready to lose it. He felt sick to his stomach. “ Unless you head down to the nearest visa office in Incheon and get an emergency travel visa to hold over until the permanent one comes in, you can’t fly today.” 

“ The flight is in an hour and a half, we definitely won't be able to make it there, get the paperwork, and come back in time.” Ruby sounded so calm but they felt devastated. 

“ We’ll need to stay back until the next flight.” Jihoon nodded, crossing his arms. “ It’s a short flight and we are leaving a handful of days in advance for practice.” 

“No,” Ruby shook their head, pushing out a breath in frustration. “ You have practice. It is a short flight. The bond withdrawal shouldn’t go into effect for at least twenty-four or thirty-two hours. You should go with everyone. Security and I will be right behind you in a couple hours.” 

“Ruby-ah-” He went to protest, really hating the idea of leaving the country with this happening, but they took his hand and squeezed it with all their might. 

“ We’ll be okay, Jihoonie.” They smiled weakly, nodding their head towards the worker that was helping them. “ I’ll text you and you give me a call when you land. We will figure it out.” 

“This is a bad idea,” Jihoon insisted, dreading the very idea of leaving them behind. The same awful feeling in his stomach was settling and he tried to swallow the bile the rose into the back of his throat. “ This feels like a really bad idea.” 

“Don’t think like that. Give me the benefit of the doubt.” Ruby laughed , even if it was just breathy and quiet. They still felt devastated, but they were still calm enough to keep a strong outward appearance. “ Now don’t miss the flight. I’ll see you in no time.” 

One of the security guards that accompanied them was talking on the phone, probably to all of upper management about this issue. He didn’t sound happy in the slightest, Jisung was his name if Jihoon remembered correctly, he was Ruby’s personal guard for situations like this, always at their side when they traveled.

Jisung hit the hang up button a bit hard but sighed. “ Ruby-nim, let’s get going to the office.” 

“Yeah, hopefully this doesn’t take forever.” They pulled Jihoon into a hug, burying their face into his neck. 

He wrapped his arms around Ruby tightly, again trying to swallow down the sick feeling in his stomach, but he felt…sad. They had been by his side for so long now that parting with them was difficult. They had been their extra shoulder to lean on when he couldn’t express what he was needing to say but they could feel it. Ruby was the embodiment of a piece of his soul, his life line and his partner. 

“ Be safe.” Was all he could muster to say, gently placing a kiss to the side of their head. 

“I will.” 

Ruby and Jisung waited until Jihoon passed through before walking off. He then waited on the other side, watching the two of them walk back the way everyone originally came through. 

“ Where’s Ruby-ah?” Seungcheol was first to ask, standing with the managers and security. Some of the members were leaning against the wall while bags were dropped on the ground, the owners of said items probably in the bathrooms not that far away. 

“ The temp visa ran out so they are going to the Visa office to get an emergency one.” 

“ What?!” Mingyu was butting into the conversation, mouth agape and eyebrows furrowed together. “ Then why are you here and not with them?” 

“Ruby-ah told me to go. They said it’s a short flight and the emergency papers probably shouldn’t take long. Withdrawal won’t set in too quickly.” 

Seungcheol, the managers, and Mingyu didn’t look convinced in the slightest. He felt defeated, even a little helpless since there was nothing he could really do besides do as Ruby suggests of heading to Japan without them and holding out hope. When Mingyu told Seokmin who told Soonyoung what happened, he was suddenly surrounded by the three for emotional support but Jihoon didn’t wish to talk to anyone. Soonyoung had insisted on sitting beside Jihoon when they boarded the plane, turning into the silent comfort he could be good at. 

He pulled his phone out and pulled up the string of messages that he shared with them, Jihoon sighed and gave a weak smile at the contact name they changed it to recently. 

[To Ruby (✿◕‿◕✿) 11:19 AM] Please keep me updated. Fighting.  [Ruby (✿◕‿◕✿) 11:20 AM] ( •̀ ω •́ )✧  Can do 

The pilot came over the announcements stating that they’d be taking off shortly despite the heavy rain that had been pattering down on the tarmac. Jihoon locked his phone after setting it on airplane mode but paying for the wifi (why was it so expensive?) so he’d be on top of any updates given to him by Ruby. 

It was going to be a long day.

Rain was pelting on the windshield of the van. When you and the rest of the group were loaded up earlier in the day, it was drizzling, nothing of too much concern but now it was a little concerning and it was dampening the already low mood. From Jihoon’s side of the bond, you felt how beat down and sad he was. There was worry that shoved its way through everything but you needed to focus on getting everything done, catching the next flight, and getting through the long Dome Tour. 

Jisung was quick to get you on the road towards the closest Visa Office. He apologized for no one realizing the travel visa had expired about a thousand and one times on the walk from the check in desk to the van but you gave him a pat on the back and reassured him you weren’t mad, just confused. Each time you stopped at a light or were behind a slow vehicle, he was tapping his hands against the steering wheel. You knew he was a very serious man when he came to his job, but he was still young. He joined the military for his mandatory service and more years at the border front line before changing to a private security company that was bought out by Hybe in the last couple years. 

As you peered out the window, watching the rain fall from the sky and even darker clouds rolling in, you felt uneasy. Pulling your phone from your pocket, you sent a short reply to Jihoon’s message and switched over to the weather app, feeling the blood in your veins run cold. You went over the information on your screen a few times to make sure you weren’t reading anything wrong. 

“They are saying we are going to be hit with a typhoon.” You gulped. “ This needs to get done fast before the flights get grounded.” 

While Jisung won’t admit he was speeding on the job, you both did make it to the building relatively fast. The office, though not particularly packed, was still busy. You had rushed to the counter, greeting the woman behind the counter and you were glad she was probably closer to your age than anything. 

“ Excuse me,” You kept your voice low, placing both your passport and expired visa on the counter. “I need to fill out an emergency soulmate travel visa and get the paperwork for a Korean Soulmate Passport to bring back once I return.” 

She looked at you with a raised brow and stood, taking the items you’ve placed down and skimming over them. “ I’ll need to have you fill out the emergency forms, it can take a few hours to get the forms processed but it should be a fairly quick process. How long have you been apart from your soulmate?” 

“Just under an hour, I’d like to be on the next flight out once everything is through.” 

She gathered all the necessary paperwork, a thick stack of pages they made you hand cramp before you had even started, but you sat down and began the long process nonetheless. Jisung was standing against the wall beside you, letting his eyes scan over the office and any of the people that were sitting about either waiting or filling out forms. 

You blessed the stars that you had a few forms of identification with you with the plan on already leaving the country but some of the questions were aimed towards Jihoon, most of which you could answer (a good part of being a Carat and a good listener) but you needed some help over text to get said answers. Page after page you were going brain dead, it was a lot of reading, a lot of rereading to make sure you weren’t messing anything up or placing information in the wrong place. Re-doing any of these papers would make you want to cry. 

A sick feeling from Jihoon had you letting out a shaky breath and shaking your head to try and clear the feeling. You could hear the massive downpour of rain pelting against the door and the windows and it set your nerves on edge. This could have been the worst time for a typhoon to roll into Korea. 

“ You look green.” Jisung peered down at you, raising a brow. 

“ ‘Hoonie is worrying to the point it’s making him feel sick mentally and, more than likely, physically.” 

“ Haven’t met my soulmate, but I can imagine how hard it can be to be away from them.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek, “ I didn’t realize how lonely it feels without him around.” 

Jisung chuckled, barely breaking his stern look. “ That’s what one of my friends said when his soulmate went to see her parents since he had work.” 

Turning the paperwork into the worker, she took your identification to scan into the computers and she, being the most understanding person, placed a rush on it since no one else in the office currently was working on an emergency case. Jisung had finally taken a seat beside you seeing as the process was going to take a while, and sighed. You sent a message to Jihoon that you’d be sitting here until the processing is over, but it could be a while. 

It was an hour's wait until you got the emergency notification of flooding and to get to higher ground. The rain didn’t let up outside and the wind was ramping in speed. It made the hair on the back of your neck raise. 

“ Ruby-nim, we can’t stay here if there is going to be flooding, this entire area will be underwater if it continues to rain.” Jisung tucked his own phone into his suit jacket pocket and stood. 

“ Everyone,” A man came from further within the office, a panic in his steps and shifty eyes going from the windows outside to the people sitting in the waiting area. “ I’m sorry to announce this but because of the flash flood warning and us being on the bottom floor, we need to clear out the building and get to safety just in case.” 

There was a chorus of disgruntled patrons and your heart dropped into your stomach.You swallowed down the feeling of throwing up, trying to think of a way that won’t send you into a spiral. 

“ Sir-” You stood, hustling over to the counter. “ I have an emergency soulmate visa being processed. I really need it done so I can fly out since my soulmate already left for Japan-” 

“ If we have your email on file with the paperwork, we can send it out, but I won’t be able to get it done today. I can make a note to have it done first thing in the morning if we haven’t been hit too hard with flooding.” 

Your heart dropped once more and your skin was beginning to crawl. You actually wanted to peel your skin off from how uncomfortable you felt. “ Can another office handle it? The Gangnam office?” 

“I can see what I can do.” He pulled his wallet out and handed you a personal business card, bowing formally when he handed it over. “ Call this number in the morning when we open and we will see if everything can get done.” 

“ T-Thanks.” You stutter out. 

“ Have they grounded flights?” Jisung was whispering on the phone when you returned to him. “ Yeah, I’ll let them know. Thanks.” 

“ What’s going on?” 

“ They just grounded all flights because of the high winds and rain.”

Getting back to Gangnam was difficult. Where you were in Incheon was just over forty-five minutes away and with traffic, it took even more time. Roads were already starting to flood, the rain continued to pelt down, and the winds sent the water in all different directions. Neither you or Jisung said anything on the way back, there was nothing to say that could fix this situation or provide ease. 

Reading all the news reports you could find emphasized the storm was going to be bad; flooding, property damage, even power outages were possible. If it did flood horribly, you weren’t sure when planes were going to be allowed to fly again.  You checked the flight time for everyone and they had just landed, meaning you’d have to break the news to Jihoon and hopefully not send you both into a panic attack. You messaged him to call you once he was heading to the hotel or when he was at the hotel. 

“ Do you need me to stop anywhere?” Jisung finally spoke up when you pulled into the streets of Gangnam, seeing people scurrying off the streets and holding onto their umbrellas for dear life. 

Giving a weak shake of your head, the reality was slowly setting in. “ Won’t need anything. If this goes on for more than a day, I won’t be able to eat anyways.”

“Will you need me to stay with you if anything happens?” 

It wouldn’t be a bad idea, between the flooding and bond withdrawal, you’d rather have someone to help if anything was to happen. Plus when the withdrawal does set in…you might need help if the flooding doesn’t go down and you can’t board a flight right away. 

“ All I have is the couch but it’s comfortable.” 

Jisung only scoffs but you could see a small smile break out on his face. “ I was in the military, Ruby-nim. I’ve slept in worse situations.” 

Though it was tense, you shared a small laugh. “ Can you live off instant ramen and packaged foods until further notice?” 

“I think I can survive.”

Pulling up towards the dorm building, both you and Jisung sighed at the entrance to the underground parking lot being blocked off. Jisung pulled up close to the curb, motioning towards the back for you to grab  your suitcase that was in the back. “ Get upstairs with your stuff, I’ll find a way to make it back with my things once I find a place to park.” 

You were not wearing the right shoes for this. You were dressed comfortably for the flight, socks with slides on, a big sweatshirt (another one of Jihoon’s), and sweatpants (maybe Jihoon’s, you didn’t know anymore). With your backpack slug over your shoulders and heavy suitcase in hand, you beelined it for the entrance to the building, clothes getting drenched. You managed to push the door open, gave an apology to the workers who were attempting to stop water from coming in but it was no use with the water coming from under the doors despite the weather strips. 

They let you know that the elevators were shut down and you’d have to take the stairs, all the way to the eighth floor , but you were just happy to be able to sleep in your own bed. It took a lot of cursing and cold shivering to make it four floors with your luggage, sitting on the top stair for a short break. When you were ready to get up and move again, your ringtone echoed in the stairwell. It was Jihoon, you already knew that, and you were already mentally tired. 

“Hey…” You answered, leaning yourself against the wall. “ How was the flight?” 

“Doesn’t matter, what's going on?” A wave of worry hit you and you felt guilty. 

“ Flights are canceled until further notice because of the storm. I couldn’t get my travel visa today.” Keeping your tone level was hard when anger came through his side. 

“I knew this was a stupid idea.” Hearing him angry was another thing. “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to-” You, he wanted to say ‘you’, you knew it. 

“I know.” You whispered, dropping your head back against the wall. “ I’m sorry.” 

It was quiet on his end of the phone, then you heard shuffling and an annoyed sigh. “ We have five days until the first concert, hopefully we can figure everything out before withdrawal sets in too hard…Let’s-” He sighed again. “ Let’s talk later.” 

You barely got a goodbye out before the call ended. Jihoon felt frustrated, really disappointed at that. You couldn’t imagine what he was racing in his head with those feelings coursing through him. Part of you thought he was mad at you, which you believed was rightfully so. Another part was probably mad at himself for not trusting the instincts and gut feeling he was battling the last couple days. You were mad at yourself for not hearing him out fully when he was feeling that way. 

You trudged the rest of the way up to the eighth floor. The irritation he had was still present, worry and a nauseated feeling filtered in with it. You felt regretful, foolish even. The lonely feeling you had earlier was jumping tenfold. 

When you got into your apartment, you dropped your things and went to your room to change into a fresh set of clothes. 

Then you moved on autopilot until Jisung showed up. 

You made up the couch with blankets and pillows, you pulled out all the instant ramen and prepacked food and placed them on the counter. When that was all done, you sat on the hard living room floor and stared at the wall opposite of you. Your phone buzzed beside you on the floor, a text, then another…and another. It was your group chat with 97 line… 

[Puppy 3:34 PM] I know you guys are in a situation but this lunch is turning into one of the most awkward times of my life because no one knows what to say.   [Sunshine 3:35 PM] Soonyoungie-hyung has been trying to cheer him up but he doesn’t wanna talk and he is saying he isn’t hungry. [Puppy 3:35 PM] And he is always eating, Ruby-ah. [Frogger 3:36 PM] Can both of you stop? Let them handle this.  [Puppy 3:37 PM] All I’m saying is if he starts to kick our asses at practice, I might cry. 

You rolled your eyes. 

[To Triple Threat (+ Ruby-ah) 3:19 PM] Then cry.  And the withdrawal hasn’t set in yet, give him some space.

Knocking at the door had you standing up and slinking towards the door, a towel ready for when Jisung was more than likely soaked. His usual well kept hair was matted down by the water and his suit was sticking to his skin. You snorted at the disgruntled look on his face and let him in, tossing the towel at his chest which he caught pretty easily. 

“ Bathroom is the first door on the left.” Pointing down the hall, Jisung wiped his hard-shell suitcase down before heading in.

As the time passed, the rain never let up. When you looked out the window, gazing down upon the city streets, the flooding was getting worse. Jisung was sitting on the couch on his phone, having updated both his boss and the group’s managers via phone call and many texts. You more or less aimlessly walked around the apartment, cleaning (though you cleaned before you were supposed to leave) and staring off into space. 

Neither you nor Jisung talked about the inevitable of bond withdrawal. You’d ask if he wanted any food, and he’d insist that if he needed anything he’d either ask or would get things himself. He made a comment about his mother not raising a ‘slummy house guest’ . 

“ Do you have any fives?” 

“....Go fish.” Jisung sat across from you on the couch, keeping a natural face as you pulled a card from the stack. “ Do you have any threes?” 

You huffed and handed two cards over to him, pouting and glaring down at your cards. “ This game sucks.” 

“ You are the one that asked if I wanted to play since you were bored.” 

“ And you are wiping the floor with me here, Jisung-ah.” 

“Remind me to never play poker with you.” 

Scoffing, you frowned. “ What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“You have a really bad poker face.” 

“You suck!” Whining, you tossed your cards down, falling back to lay on the couch. “I’m bored.” 

“ A sore loser.” Jisung cleaned up the cards, yawning softly. 

It’s already been a couple hours since you got home, dinner would be a good idea to start on but you didn’t feel hungry. Mingyu and Seokmin were blowing up the chat which Minghao stated he was going to mute until further notice, which you joined him on. Soonyoung and Joshua had been absolute dears and messaged you about if Jihoon was doing okay but you wanted to give him space to process everything. Just from past experiences alone, he needed time to dwell in the information and find the best way to communicate his thoughts. 

Since the phone call earlier, the disappointment didn’t subside but the frustration did. He brought waves of annoyance here and there, but overall his emotions started to become dulled from the distance if you’d have to guess. 

“ Ramen?” You raised a brow to Jisung who nodded his head. “ Spicy?” He shook his head and you got to work. 

With no table, everything from the states were sitting in a storage unit until after the tour finished so you could sort things without much worry, the two of you sat on the floor, backs against the couch. You still didn’t feel hungry but eating was a necessity until the moment you couldn’t eat. From what you read online, you wouldn’t be able to hold down any food once that happens. 

Taking the first mouth full of the salty noodles, a wave of nausea hit you hard. You stopped chewing, tensing up in discomfort. It took a moment and a high magnitude of sheer will to get any of the food down. It felt like dead weight in your stomach and if you didn’t think hard about it you’d be seeing the food again any moment. 

“Oh-” You covered your mouth, a broken groan leaving your throat. “Oh that isn’t good.” 

“ What isn’t good?” Jisung leaned forward to get a better look at your face, frowning in concern. 

“ I need to call Jihoon-” You stood up quickly, leaving the container you ate out of on the floor. 

“ What’s going on?” 

“I need to figure it out.” Excusing yourself into your room, you called Jihoon, pacing back and forth as the Kakao tone rang in your ear. “Come on, ‘Hoon.” 

The first call didn’t go through and you sighed. You pulled another contact up and prayed to everything that he’d answer. It rang once, twice, and you were flooded with relief when you heard Minghao on the other end of the call. 

“ Hey, what’s up?” 

“Hey, hi- Where is Jihoonie?” 

“ Uh-” Minghao hummed. “ Soonyoungie-hyung and Wonu-hyung went with him to get food about half an hour ago, why?” 

“He isn’t answering his phone.” 

“Call Wonu-hyung. He always has his phone on.” 

“Thanks. I owe you!” You hung up and called Wonwoo. 

“ It’s Ruby-ah.” You heard his voice away from the phone for a moment before hearing him clearly. “ Hey, we are out to eat right now.” 

“Can I talk to him?” 

“Him- Oh yeah.” He moved away again before Jihoon’s voice was heard.

“ My phone was dea-” 

“Are you hungry?” 

“Well hi to you too-” 

“Jihoonie, don’t joke with me!” You whined, continuing to pace. “ Do you feel hungry?” 

“No- not really? I still need to eat though. I haven’t eaten since this morning before the flight. Why are you asking? Is this about the sick feeling you had?” 

“Eat something now. I need to know if it isn’t just me.” 

He wanted to protest but you repeated yourself, insisting he eat something even if it was a fucking leaf . So you waited, hearing some shuffling and a few unintelligible words from Soonyoung from the sound of the voice. Then a few clanks of what you hoped were plates of whatever they had ordered being set down and the friendly voice of a waiter telling them to enjoy the food. 

“ I’m going to eat, happy?” There wasn’t any malice behind his tone, maybe a little amusement, but you didn’t appreciate it at the moment. “ Going to eat the best Katsudon I’ve had before.” 

You could hear him take a bit of the food and you felt him get sick to his stomach just as you did earlier. Through the phone, you called his name, stopping in your pacing tracks. You bit on the skin of your lips, gnawing on it until it started to bleed. 

“ Ruby-ah?” Jihoon sounded a little queasy. 

“ Yeah, yeah, I’m here.” You leaned your head back, running a hand through your hair. “Fuck, I didn’t want this to be true.” 

“ Why is it starting so early?” 

“I- Fuck, I don’t know.” 

“ It’s been less than twelve hours.” 

You opened and closed your mouths a few times, trying to figure out what to say before you let out a shaky breath. “I know. I don’t know what to do. Nothing should have started yet. I’m sorry. Fuck I should have listened and let you stay. Why my dumbass had hope that everything would work out, I don’t know. None of this would have happened-” 

“Slow down,” He cut you off, a calm warmth washing through to your side of the bond. “ I know I sounded angry earlier. Take a breath.” 

“I’m gonna have a panic attack-” You did try to breathe evenly but the guilt, the worry, and the loneliness was constricting whatever grasp you had on reality. “Fuck I’m sorry, you are out in public, I need to calm down-” 

“ I’ll be right back.” He said away from the phone and it took a few moments to hear him properly again. “ Listen, Ruby-ah, everything will be okay, we will figure it out, you will get your visa, you’ll be on the earliest flight even if the company needs to pay for something private.” 

Tears were welling in your eyes, heaving strained breaths in and out. Your nerves were on fire, there were both too many thoughts in your head and nothing at all. Holding it together was hard and your hands were beginning to shake, nearly dropping your phone on the hardwood floor. 

“ We can’t predict the future, we couldn’t predict that the weather would be bad or the withdrawal would set in so quickly.” You held onto his words like a vice, trying to have them ground you in the unknown predicament. “ All we can do right now is focus on getting you back beside me, okay?” 

“There-” You let yourself crumble onto your bed, pulling the pillow close to your chest. “ There is a saying that goes ‘ alone but never alone’ but right now I’m not alone but I’m really fucking lonely, Jihoonie.” 

“Jisung-nim is staying with you right? The manager said something about that.” 

“ Yeah,” The breath you let out made you a little dizzy. “It was best with the flooding and when the bond started all this.” 

“Good.” His calm state of mind was slipping but he didn’t let it fall fully. “ I’m going to call you when I get back to the hotel, okay?” 

“ I’m sorry I ruined dinner. I’m sorry-” 

Jihoon only gave a sigh and a groan, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “ You didn’t ruin anything.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.”

[satoruvt]

any Vernon bf thoughts? :) just read your other HHU headcanons and noticed he wasnt there yet...

damn so i have feelings for this guy. good to know good to know

one of the biggest things about vern is that he's chill asf. we all know this. but i think it'd travel into his relationship

genuinely just happy to be here bro. doesn't get weird about things -- respects and loves you and asks that you do the same, and that's kind of it for him

not suuuper big on pda, but will honestly kinda let you do whatever with him if you like pda LOL. probably won't initiate a lot but will definitely indulge if you do; feel like he def has limits but as long as you both feel comfortable

in private however ... i see him being a bit more touchy. just a lot more comfortable with initiating it. he'll usually put his arm around your shoulders or just grab for your hand, a few little kisses here and there

doesn't have an organized playlist for you but definitely has a list of songs that remind him of you

BIGGGG fan of movie nights and watching stuff with you; if theres a movie coming out soon that he wants to see he'll get tix for the theater and make a lil date out of it. or if theres one that you guys just want to watch at home, he's so down for cuddling up on the couch while it plays

you steal his shirts and hes like "cmon :/ i paid for that :/" LMAO but he'll never ask for them back

the idea of vernon in a kitchen um. kind of scares me. so while he doesnt cook without your supervision, he'll show his appreciation by cleaning up after you're done cooking... or you'll end up with take out lol

is so interested in hobbies you have. loves to see your works when you're done with them, if you feel comfortable showing him -- hypes you up in his own gentle way

i think when he's on tour or just away from you he'll send you pictures or videos of what he's doing... usually no caption. but it's sweet to know he's thinking about you

if you ask, he'll tell you all about the stuff he's currently working on. but like.. not in a way that will give you hints HAHA he's very meticulous about it, he wants it to be a surprise for you. when you asked him about black eye he was like "yeah the production was so fun to work on, the lyrics too. it's something i'm really proud of" and you're like Awe. but then you're like Let Me Hear It and hes like No

idek if he has his license (leaning towards no) but if you guys both happen to be free on a night, esp if you haven't seen each other in a while, hes always down for driving around and talking and sharing music. absolutely

making plans with him is soooo easy. will text you and be like "your place tonight? tacos? 6 pm?" and if it doesn't work hes just like "alright, tmr then."

doesn't Surprise visit you at work but he'll text u and be like "coming by" LOL. loves taking your break with you when hes able to

silently insists on paying for you anywhere at anytime for anything. will never really Fight you on it but you know better then to try atp. BUT HE ALWAYS IS LIKE "guess i'm paying again..." and you're like "i can do it" and he's like "absolutely not. put your card away."

we all know his gifts end up being So late but they're always very thoughtful and you know he tried with them, which is what matters most

u guys have matching bracelets i don't make the rules.

the more romantic songs he's written... some are definitely about you. you never have to ask, and vernon never says anything -- the songs speak for themselves, and you think you'd both know anyways.

pretends he doesn't know any of your frequented drink or food orders when you guys are together but then somehow remembers them perfectly when he gets takeout alone for the both of you

probably steals stuff of yours, like your bigger hoodies or shirts. will ask to borrow jewelry on occasion too

if he's having a rough time writing or getting a song started or just getting stuck on a certain part he'll always invite you to the studio. claims it helps. you think he just misses you

vernon are you free tonight around 6 pm i am available tonight at 6 pm if you are free at 6 pm tonight i am also free at 6pm if you're free at 6pm tonight we can do something together if we are both free tonight at 6pm.

[mingyuonlyfans]

Ur latest poll.... idk if mingyu would but MR VERNON CHWE ..... those lyrics from black eye got me thinking things ......

PUT 💥💥 A 💥 MUZZLE 💥💥 ON 💥 ME 💥 I'LL 💥💥 SPIT 💥💥 IN 💥 YOUR 💥 MOUTH 💥💥

it's so much funnier for me to imagine his partner bringing it up after hearing the song and vernon's just like,,, yeah,,, so can i?

[lonelywhalien22]

pretty lies - part nine (finale)

pairing: vernon x reader

rating/genre: enemies to lovers, slow burn, ANGSTY fluff, band au

summary: supporting your friend mingyu becomes way more than you ever could have bargained for when you become involved with one of his bandmates

warnings: cussing, vernon has issues in this story but please remember this is a work of fiction, mingyu stans don’t hate me but mingyu and reader are just friends

*credit: the lyrics referenced in this chapter are not mine, they are from the actual song black eye by vernon. and if you really wanna nerd out with me, listen to the band live session version he released, as that is what i imagined specifically while writing this part - trust me, it hits different.*

word count: 6.4k

prev. chapt. | series masterlist

~One year later~

“Ok, I think that’s enough for today,” you said to yourself, wiping the back of your hand across your brow as you stood up from your crouched position. You glanced around your apartment, trying to find your glass of water as you caught your breath.

Your living room was full of cardboard boxes, some of them taped shut with short descriptions scribbled hastily on the outside while others were still open, various items thrown inside haphazardly. It was spring once again, but instead of the seasonal cleaning you loved to indulge in at the first sign of sunny skies and warmer temperatures, you were moving out.

When you’d first been contacted about a competitive job offer a few months ago, you had immediately dismissed the idea. Though the hiring manager had been highly impressed with your skillset, the work would be notably different from what you were used to doing at your old job, and you doubted whether you could handle the requirements of the role. Your hesitation only became stronger when you were informed that you’d also have to relocate to take on the position.

What about my family? Mingyu and the rest of my friends? The life I have here? You’d spent weeks pondering the possible scenarios and all the things that would change if you took the offer, and you’d almost talked yourself into declining it. That was until you realized how much had already changed. 

It had been nine months since the guys had left to go work on their recording with Woozi. You still remembered the final hugs you’d given to Jay and Mingyu at the airport before they’d gone through security, a certain third person having not yet arrived. You still wondered to this day if he’d purposely chosen to show up as late as possible or if it was you who had come extra early to avoid having to interact. Perhaps it was both.

You and Mingyu had facetimed pretty regularly for the first month that they were gone. Sometimes you’d even see Jay in the background during your video chats as well, the two of you exchanging greetings and asking how the other was doing. By the time the second month had come around however, the distance made it hard to always remember to keep in touch. Eventually you all became busier and busier, your lives naturally moving in different directions. No matter how much time passed though, Mingyu always made sure to at the very least share the bigger updates with you:

~

“Why’s it taking so long to finish recording? I thought you guys would have been back by now,” you asked during one of your monthly catch ups. It had been four months at this point since they’d left. 

“Yeah me too. Woozi wanted it out sooner but his team advised against it. They thought it’d be best to let some time pass between the competition and the release so there would be less of a chance of his image getting tarnished with all the drama from the fight.” Mingyu skirted over that last part quickly, knowing that it was still a sore subject for you. “But in a weird way it works out well - with the extra time, we’re gonna be able to write some more stuff and put together a whole EP.”

“What is that? Like five or six songs? That’s so amazing, I can’t wait to hear them!” 

“You know, you could always get a sneak peak if you flew out here for a few days,” Mingyu offered once again. He’d been trying to get you to come for weeks now. “Nikki’s already seen me twice since we left!”

“She’s your girlfriend, of course she has. And you know I don’t have the time anyways - my boss would never let me take off for that long.” It was true that your job was a pain in the ass, but you and Mingyu both knew you had other reasons for not coming to visit in person.

“Just promise you’ll come see us perform when the EP is released.”

“Of course. I’ll be there.”

~

Now in the present, when you really thought about it, you realized that there wasn’t much tying you to the place in which you currently resided. Watching Mingyu and the guys for so long had given you a taste of all the possibilities life had to offer, and you were tired of limiting yourself to what you currently knew when it wasn’t really doing you any favors anyways. The job offer had just been the final push you needed, and at last you felt ready and excited to pursue your own little sort of adventure. Even if it wasn’t as glamorous as flying across the country to work with world-renowned producers, it was yours and yours alone.

You pushed the boxes you’d been working on packing up to a corner of the room, ready to call it a day, when you heard your phone ring from somewhere in your apartment. Taking a few moments to find it amongst all the disarray, you managed to answer right before it went to voicemail.

“Hey, what time did you say your flight was landing?” It was Mingyu. You could hear lots of commotion in the background wherever he was, voices and instruments faintly reaching your ears.

“Should be around eleven in the morning.” With the career change you had several weeks of cherished personal time before you began your new job. Besides the time you’d need to relocate, you were finally able to take a few days to visit Mingyu and see what the band had been working on for yourself.

“Shit, I don’t think I’m gonna be able to meet you at the airport. We’re putting the final touches on some stuff and won’t be done until around one.” You could hear the regret in his voice, but all you could do was chuckle in response.

“I’m gonna get there Thursday and I’ll be staying all the way through the weekend. Trust me, you’re not missing much. Airports suck anyways.”

“I know, but still. We’re all looking forward to seeing you. It’s been way too long.”

You couldn’t help but wonder who was included in that “we,” but there was no way you were gonna ask.

“Well, that’ll all be fixed very soon,” you said instead, glancing over at your half packed suitcase.

“I’ll see if Nikki can meet you at the airport instead since she’s also visiting,” Mingyu offered. You squealed in excitement. Since the guys had left, you and Mingyu’s girlfriend had become pretty close, unsurprisingly. What had at first seemed like an obligatory relationship born out of a common bond had over time blossomed into a true friendship. She was definitely going to be someone you missed hanging out with when you moved.

“You should have started with that option,” you joked as you tried to figure out how many pairs of socks you needed to pack and where on earth you’d put them. “Tell her I need someone to show me around when I get there.”

“She’ll be glad to hear that,” Mingyu said happily before he was interrupted by someone on his end. “Y/n, I gotta go. But we’ll see you soon, ok?” he finished quickly.

“See you soon.”

—————

When your flight landed, it only took you a handful of minutes to find Nikki, the brunette jumping up and down excitedly as soon as she caught sight of you in baggage claim.

“Hey -” you greeted, letting out a slight “oof” as she gave you a big hug before immediately taking the bags you’d been carrying out of your hands.

“I’m so excited you’re here! How was the flight?”

“Good, just glad there weren’t any delays,” you said as you took a deep breath. You couldn’t believe you were really here, about to see the guys in person again after nearly a year.

“I know you’re probably hungry, but do you think you’d be good with just some snacks for now?” Nikki asked. “I tried talking him out of it but Mingyu’s insisting on everyone meeting up for lunch after they finish for today.”

“That’s fine,” you said as you began looking around for some place where you could buy some fruit or a salad, craving something fresh after being forced to eat airplane food. Nikki noticed the look in your eye, the way in which you immediately distracted yourself at the mention of the lunch. It was something that only she could have picked up on besides Mingyu, the two of them knowing the most about your past with a certain someone.

“In case you were wondering, he will be there,” she said softly, following behind you as you picked out a snack from a nearby stall and found your wallet to pay. “I just thought you’d wanna know.”

You let out a sigh. 

“I appreciate that, but I’m fine. It’s been months,” you said simply.

Nikki only stared back at you, her brow raised slightly as she tried to keep herself from calling you out on your bullshit.

“Really. I am,” you insisted. “Is it gonna be awkward at first? Yeah, probably. But this was bound to happen at some point. Let’s hope he doesn’t hate me and everything should be fine,” you said jokingly at the end, hoping she’d believe you then.

“Ok…” Nikki said. She piped up again after a few beats. “You know y/n, he’s changed - since being out here.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s not the same person he was the night of the Battle of the Bands competition.”

“Nikki,” you said with a warning tone, not liking where this was going.

“I’m not telling you to get back with him or anything,” her hands raised themselves innocently into the air. “I just don’t want you to let the way things ended between you two a year ago get in the way of you having a good time while you’re here,” she said gently.

“Thank you for that, but for the last time, I promise I am fine. Now - no more guy talk. Wasn’t there some thrift store you wanted to show me?” You brought up her weakness for clothes in an effort to change the subject once and for all.

“Say less,” Nikki said eagerly as she ushered you out of the airport and the two of you caught a ride to the hotel.

—————

“Y/n!”

Mingyu immediately pulled you into a hug that was even stronger than Nikki’s from earlier when he saw you. You couldn’t help the toothy smile that emerged on your face.

“Hey Mingyu,” you said simply. You really had missed your friend so much.

“Let her breathe,” Nikki chided playfully.

“Yeah, leave some hugs for the rest of us,” Jay said, arms open wide as you gave him a hug next.

“It’s so great to see you guys. I missed everyone so much.”

It was a little after one, and you and Nikki had finally met up with the guys to have a late lunch at a spot near the studio where they were recording. It was a bright and sunny day so you all had elected to eat at the patio seating out front. There was just one person missing though.

“Vernon’s running a little late but he’ll be here,” Mingyu said, seeing the question in your eyes. “He just had to finish going over some edits.”

Some things never change, you thought before you could stop yourself. You wondered if they were just covering for him with empty promises - if he’d somehow manage to avoid you for this entire trip.

You all finally sat down at a circular table outside. Mingyu and Nikki were to your right and Jay was to your left, leaving one last spot for Vernon just across from you.

“So what’s this I hear about you moving? And a new job? Congrats!” Jay started once a waitress had brought you all drinks. The four of you immediately began to catch up, most of the focus on you.

“I still can’t believe you’re gonna be gone,” Mingyu whined.

“I’m not dying, just moving. And now you know how I felt when you guys left,” you said playfully. “Who could have predicted we’d be spread all over the place like this?” 

As you continued to chat, you couldn’t help but reminisce about where you all had been just a year ago - struggling to get by and constantly putting in overtime to make things work with the band, your day jobs, and your personal lives. And now look at you all, on your way to better things. It made you feel so proud when you really thought about it.

“I’m really sorry I’m late you guys.”

You all looked up at the interruption, seeing Vernon approach the table in a bit of disarray. He was clad in a simple white tee and light wash denim jeans, an unbuttoned light blue collared shirt layered over his tee. As he sat down, his hand came up to brush some hair out of his face, but a few stray strands fell onto his forehead anyways.

“Was it the sound engineer guy again?” Mingyu asked him knowingly with a smirk. Vernon laughed in response.

“Yeah - he went on a rant about compression techniques this time.”

“I told you to stop asking him questions,” Jay threw in, “you’re too curious for your own good sometimes man.”

“I know, I can’t help it, but anyways - ”

He looked over at you, a polite smile on his face as he scooted up his chair.

“Hi y/n.”

“Hi Vernon,” you said curtly with a tight-lipped smile. You looked down at the menu in your hands, eyes skimming over the entrees again even though you already knew what you wanted to order.

“So,” Nikki started, clearing her throat in the lingering silence. “What did you all work on today?”

“Just rehearsing the songs from the EP in preparation for the showcase,” Mingyu responded, the two of them tag-teaming on moving the conversation along.

“Vern’s been instrumental in helping us craft some amazing songs,” Jay propped the man up with a pat to his back.

“It’s all thanks to Woozi really,” Vernon brushed off shyly, but Mingyu shook his head adamantly.

“Don’t sell yourself short bro, you’ve done some great work on this.”

“I can’t wait to hear it,” Nikki piled on another compliment.

“Thanks guys.” Vernon let out a cheeky smile, looking down at his lap for a moment before fiddling with the menu on the table to distract himself, his cheeks burning.

You hadn’t really taken Nikki seriously at first when she’d said so earlier, but she was right - something was different about Vernon. He seemed lighter somehow. And it was quickly becoming apparent to you that the guys had grown much closer after working on music together for the last nine months. You could see it immediately in the way they interacted with each other, the three of them trading jokes and stories easily as you all waited for the waitress to come back.

“What’s that you mentioned about a showcase?” you asked.

“We’re putting on a performance the day after the EP is released,” Jay explained. “Woozi and Seventeen are gonna make an appearance as well, so we’ll likely be performing in front of thousands.”

“That’s incredible,” you said with a stunned expression.

“It’s part of the reason I wanted you to come this weekend specifically,” Mingyu said. “I’m not sure the timing would have lined up so nicely if you didn’t already happen to be moving -”

Nikki nudged Mingyu, cutting him off with a stern look, but it was too late.

“Wait, you’re moving?”

You looked back over at Vernon, his brow furrowing as he looked at you with a crestfallen expression. No one had told him?

“Yeah,” you said nervously, glancing over at him for a second before looking away again. You reached for your glass of lemonade, taking a sip so you didn’t have to say anything else, another awkward silence filling the table.

“So, what can I get you all,” the waitress finally appeared, ready to take your orders.

You’d never felt more thankful for a distraction.

—————

The rest of lunch had gone as smoothly as it could have considering the circumstances, with everyone mainly focused on their food. Mingyu, Jay and Nikki did most of the talking, sharing more stories from their time away from home as you politely listened along, soaking up just how much you had missed and throwing in a question or two from time to time. You tried your best to keep from looking at Vernon, which wasn’t really all that hard considering he stayed quiet for the rest of the meal. When his name came up in the conversation he’d always give a smile or a nod, laughing along at Mingyu’s ridiculous exaggerations, but besides that he gave no input.

“Well this was fun,” you said as you all walked out of the restaurant. “I guess we can hang out more tomorrow when you guys are finished with work again?”

“Actually…we were wondering if you’d come with us to the studio,” Mingyu suggested. “We wanna show you what we’ve been working on.”

“Really? Now?” you said in surprise. “Are you sure?” You’d assumed you wouldn’t be able to hear any of the actual songs until the official release of the EP.

Jay nodded before adding on, “As of today, the mastering is done so the songs are officially finished.” You noticed how he looked over at Vernon briefly, the man’s face a little red with eyes averted and hands tucked in his pockets quietly, before he continued. “We all agreed awhile ago that we wanted you to be the first outside of the production team to listen to it, as a thank you for all of your support.”

You felt honored, nearly tearing up at their words. It was such a kind gesture that you didn’t bother worrying too much about the fact that you’d have to spend even more time around Vernon. Like Nikki had said earlier, you didn’t want your history with him to stop you from sharing in such a precious moment.

“You guys…this is really sweet…”

“We know. Now come on,” Mingyu ushered you towards him eagerly.

You looked back at Nikki in confusion as she kept her place on the sidewalk.

“Go on,” she said with a smile. “The guys insisted you had to hear it first. Alone.” She said that last part with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “I’ll be waiting for you back at the hotel.”

—————

“Wow,” was the first word that left your mouth when you and the guys arrived at the studio.

The main area was bigger than the living room of your old apartment, a bunch of fancy recording equipment with hundreds of knobs and dials against one wall to your right. Comfy couches and chairs adorned the wall that was directly across, with plush carpets and decorative little knickknacks accenting the space. The recording booth was its own room, separated from everything else by a shiny sleek glass. When you peeked inside you saw a plethora of instruments and mic stands, and you even recognized Vernon’s guitar sitting in one corner.

“Crazy, right?” Mingyu urged you on with an elbow to your arm before he plopped himself into one of the chairs near the control booth. Vernon and Jay had already seated themselves. 

“Sit down!” Mingyu said, patting the last empty chair, which was beside him but also just so happened to be next to Vernon. You knew it was just by chance and that Mingyu would never set you up like that purposely, but that didn’t stop the nervousness that bubbled in your stomach.

“No way am I sitting that close to the controls,” you tried joking as an excuse. “I’m scared I’ll break something.” 

You backed up towards the couch against the opposite wall, planning to sit there instead, but the devastated look on Mingyu’s face made you stop in your tracks. Unable to take anymore of his expression, you glanced over at Vernon on instinct and your heart fell even more when you saw the way he immediately looked down at his lap, scratching the back of his head despondently.

Fuck. Was I that obvious? you thought, immediately feeling stupid for making things awkward.

“I can switch with Jay if - ” Vernon started, but you quickly cut him off.  

“No! No it’s fine,” you said, shaking your head before taking a step forward. “I’ll just - ” you didn’t bother finishing that sentence because what were you supposed to say exactly? No, it’s fine, I’ll just sit down next to my ex instead of making you all switch chairs because I still feel weird about breaking up with him? That would have been even more embarrassing. Maybe Nikki was right - you weren’t as over your past with Vernon as you’d thought.

You finished making your way to the final seat at the booth and promptly sat down, folding your hands in your lap as you tried to muster up some semblance of poise.

“Show me what you guys have been working on.” 

Mingyu looked at you seriously for a moment, making sure you were really ok first. Once you gave him a genuine smile and elbowed him playfully, he released a breath, the anticipation growing on his face again.

“Jay, can you play the first track?” he asked.

“Sure thing man.” The bassist clicked away on a nearby monitor before sitting back, sound beginning to flow from the speakers.

For the next half hour or so, you listened to several of the songs the guys had spent months crafting, worries quickly melting away as you couldn’t help but absorb yourself completely into the music. At the end of each one you immediately gushed over the melody, production elements, or other details, Mingyu and Jay eagerly offering in-depth input on more of the behind-the-scenes process. Vernon also chimed in from time to time, slowly becoming more comfortable as he gave insight on lyrical choices or even helped to elaborate upon your comments when you struggled to articulate in technical terms what it was you’d noticed in each song - “We added some more reverb here in the bridge,” “Woozi had them redo the mixing so many times on this song so they could capture Jay’s pedaling,” “That bit you’re hearing is a layer of syncopation over the main melody.” It was hard not to notice the passion in his voice. It exuded from him every time he spoke - an unbridled joy you had never seen before. You found it endearing, a smile slowly growing on your face the more you watched him.

The fourth track was the official recording of Visions. The four of you stayed completely quiet throughout the entirety of this song, fully absorbing Vernon’s raw vocals and the way they glided over the rich instrumental. Goosebumps covered your skin by the end.

“Vernon…that was beautiful.”

You were the first to interrupt the silence that filled the space afterwards, unable to stop yourself from looking directly at him. Despite everything that had happened, Visions would always make you feel something that was hard to put into words. You two didn’t have to still be together for you to regard that song with incredible care and awe.

“Thank you…that means a lot,” Vernon said, holding your gaze timidly for a moment before looking down, rubbing his hands across his jeans. He hoped you couldn’t see in his eyes how much your words still meant to him, after all this time.

“Thank you for trusting us with it,” Jay added in, Mingyu nodding along. 

No more words had to be said, the group of you sitting comfortably in the silence for a little longer before Mingyu quietly spoke up again.

“There’s just one more song left,” he said, eyebrows beginning to wiggle mischievously.

“There is?” you asked, curiosity peaked at the thought of even more music to listen to. But Vernon’s head jerked back up in panic at Mingyu’s words.

“N-No. There’s not,” he said abruptly, eyes wide as he quickly shook his head in denial. He looked legitimately scared.

“We discussed this already and you said you’d do it. I really think it’s best you stick to your word,” Mingyu said to Vernon, getting up from his chair and patting him on the back before walking towards the door. “Y/n. You good?”

“Yes…?” you said, appreciating his checking in before he seemingly left you alone with your ex.

“No - Mingyu wait -” Vernon said.

“You got this bro.”

“Rarely do I say it, but for once I’d have to agree with Mingyu here,” Jay said as he also got up and retreated towards the studio door. “Plus he stole my guitar pics and won’t give them back unless I agree to this plan so…”

The two bandmates exited the room, the door closing with a sort of finality as you and Vernon were left alone together in the studio.

What is happening right now? Why the hell would I tell Mingyu I was ok with this? Your mind went into overdrive as you fully processed the situation you’d so easily gotten yourself into, and yet, there was another part of you with so many questions that you found yourself glued to your seat.

If it was any consolation, Vernon looked just as unnerved as you.

“I’m sorry. I swear I had no idea they were gonna do this, I promise,” he said as he glanced over at you, immediately feeling the need to explain. 

This wasn’t how he’d imagined sharing this last song with you. If he was being honest, he’d never been able to figure out how to go about it, or if he should even try at all. So now that you were right here, sitting beside him again after a whole year had passed, he felt himself panicking. When all he heard was your silence in response, he continued to ramble on nervously.

“You can totally leave if you want. I won’t stop you.” It may have sounded like a cruel suggestion, but to Vernon it would actually have been so much easier if you did - if you left him again just like you had at that bench by the river a year ago. That way he wouldn’t have to reopen an old wound - wouldn’t have to rub salt in something he wasn’t entirely sure had healed. He could just continue to live in denial, never again having to confront the pain that had been so much of his existence or the hurt from his past with you.

“Why did you decide to record Visions? After everything that happened?” Vernon finally heard you ask instead. 

It was something that had tormented you nearly every day since your breakup, the question coming to you randomly late at night or when, against your better judgement, you’d listen to certain songs you knew would make you think of him. If you’d been in his shoes you didn’t think you could have done it, and so in this moment you found yourself desperate for an answer.

“I almost didn’t,” Vernon admitted, the confession spilling from his lips rather effortlessly once he’d recovered from his surprise. “But every time I tried to convince myself not to, I would think about the times I’d gotten to perform it on stage…” He looked forward, focusing on the recording booth before continuing. “I didn’t have the words for it then, but now I realize that it was healing - getting to share that song with others. And I think deep down there was a part of me that was tired of hurting myself as a way to cope with the things that had happened to me. So when you still asked me to record it, even after the way things ended, I couldn’t ignore that.” He looked over at you again, repeating your words from a year ago: “It’s like you said, I was tired of hiding in silence. So thank you - for encouraging me. I know that couldn’t have been easy.”

You weren’t sure what you thought you’d hear, but you certainly hadn’t expected something so…introspective.

“I’m glad. That it was healing for you.” 

His words were their own kind of salve, freeing you from a self-inflicted purgatory you hadn’t realized you were in until that very moment. 

“Sometimes I worried that maybe you hated me for it,” you acknowledged the last bit of fear you’d been holding in your heart.

“I can’t deny that I wasn’t upset at times, but I’ve never once hated you,” Vernon said earnestly. “Not even the first night we met - and not after you told me goodbye either.” He desperately needed you to know that.

You let his words seep into your heart, the look in his eyes telling you that he truly meant it, before you finally moved on. Once and for all.

“So,” you said with a deep exhale, suddenly finding it hard to hold his gaze. “What’s this last song? The one the guys want you to play for me?”

“Right. The song…” Vernon began with an anxious gulp - he’d almost forgotten why the two of you were in this situation to begin with. He mulled it over in his head for a second, trying to find the right words to explain what the song meant and why he’d written it, but eventually he realized that defeated the purpose. The song existed for this precisely - because he had always struggled to adequately articulate his feelings in any other way. So instead of stumbling over his words for any longer, he leaned over the control booth and pressed play:

Running 'round the whole city for someone

To look me in my eyes and tell me pretty lies

Teardrops keep blurring up my sight

And right now I'm driving in my car

Going so fast, baby, so fast, baby

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Don't leave me in the dark

You said you won't be far

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

I can't stand the quiet

Is anyone out there?

Is anyone out there?

I'm on my worst behavior

Don't stop me now

I fucking hate this world

So show me a way out

Wake me up from this nightmare, please

I can't stand this reality

I'm on my worst behavior

How you like me now?

Put a muzzle on me

I'll spit in your mouth

Wake me up from this nightmarе, please

I'm scarred and bruisеd with a black eyed face

Woke up on the highway

I didn't go home last night

What you know 'bout me?

I ain't got nothing

So why you keep coming to me?

With your innocent eyes, you smile so bright

Stop wasting your sunshine on me

'Cause I can't tell if it's real or a lie

Solitude

I got a couple friends

Just me, myself, and I

We play with fireworks all night

I'm okay

I'll just let it burn everything around me

'Cause you can't save me from my sadness

No, don't save me

I'm on my worst behavior

Don't stop me now

I fucking hate this world

So show me a way out

Wake me up from this nightmare, please

I can't stand this reality

I'm on my worst behavior

How you like me now?

Put a muzzle on me

I'll spit in your mouth

Wake me up from this nightmare, please

I'm scarred and bruised with a black eyed face

Turn on the radio all the way up

'Til your eardrums explode

Let's dance all night long

But if you come too close

I might just burn you whole

Turn my back and shut the door

Knock, knock

Is there anybody out there?

You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Vernon as the song filled the studio, body frozen in your seat even after it was finished. So many lyrics had stood out to you:

pretty lies

tears blurring up my sight

don’t leave me in the dark

you said you won’t be far

I can’t stand the quiet

on my worst behavior

didn't go home last night

what you know 'bout me?

your innocent eyes, you smile so bright

stop wasting your sunshine on me

can't tell if it's real or a lie

just let it burn everything around me

you can't save me from my sadness

black eyed face

“Y/n? Are you ok?” Vernon asked, turning his chair to face you fully as he saw your expression. He was terrified of what your reaction would be.

“I’m not sure…” you said honestly, finally looking over at him. “Are you ok?”

“I am, I promise. This is something I started writing around the time I joined the band. Right before I met you,” he tried to explain.

“But clearly that’s not when you wrote all of it - black eyed face? ” The more you went over the bits of lyrics you could remember, the more you saw parts of your relationship and his time with the band sprinkled all over it. You didn’t really know how to feel.

“You're right - I added different parts at different times until it all came together. It was my way of coping with what I was going through at the time…and eventually that included pieces of you too - pieces of us.”

“Pretty lies? Wasting my sunshine on you? Is that really all you remember when you think of our relationship? The painful parts?” you asked quietly, a little afraid to hear his answer.

“No, of course not,” Vernon looked at you gently. He wished he could hold your hand in that moment but he held himself back.

“Then I don’t understand. Why write this -”

“Because I love you,” Vernon said finally, his stomach dropping at the confession. He couldn’t bear the thought of you misinterpreting his words any longer. “I love you and I’m sorry for how things ended. For what I put you through. This song was my way of acknowledging that - not by attacking our relationship, but by putting myself back in that negative headspace and being open for once about the fact that I still had things to work through. When it was too late to be better for you or for the guys, I had to find a reason to be better for myself. And so I wrote this song as a reminder.”

You heard everything he said, but you could only focus on one thing.

“You love me?” you couldn’t help but ask, feeling strangely emotional for someone who had supposedly moved on.

“I mean…yeah. I’m not sure the feeling will ever go away,” Vernon’s face turned red as he decided to be completely honest with you.

“I…”

“You don’t have to say anything. I’m not asking you to take me back - it’s just something I want you to know.”

Just then you heard a noise on the other side of the door, the two of you looking over just in time to see Mingyu peek his head into the room.

“Sooo…the song’s good isn’t it???” the man blurted out, brows once again wiggling. “I was thinking we could call it Pretty Lies.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, ready to tell him to knock it off, but someone else beat you to it.

“Leave them alone!” you heard Nikki say, dragging him back by the collar of his shirt. You thought she was at the hotel, but apparently even she couldn’t stay away for long.

“What? I just wanna -” but the door promptly shut, blocking out Mingyu’s antics. 

The two of them really were made for each other, you thought with a bit of admiration. You and Vernon couldn’t help but begin to laugh.

“I guess that means it’s time to wrap it up,” you started, standing as you gathered your belongings. Vernon followed suit, still facing you.

“Just so you know - the label doesn’t know about this song,” Vernon said. “And regardless of what Mingyu wants, I’m not sharing it unless you’re comfortable. The EP is great as is.”

“You’re right that it’s great,” you started, “but it’d be even better with this song. It’s really, really, good Vernon,” you said honestly. You couldn’t deny that, even if it had been a little surreal to listen to in the beginning.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” you said, walking towards him and reaching out for a hug. He was the only person you hadn’t given one to since arriving, though this one felt notably different from the others, the familiarity of his touch sparking something in you. 

Vernon held on to you tightly, his head instinctively tucking into that familiar spot on the side of your neck while you rubbed his back softly, neither of you letting go.

“We’re gonna miss you. I’m gonna miss you,” he admitted once you two had lessened your hold enough to look at each other, the thought finally dawning on him that whenever he did finally return home, you wouldn’t be there waiting for him.

“I know. I will too,” you said wistfully. “But this doesn’t have to be goodbye forever, you know?”

You stood up on your tip toes then and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. It wasn’t one of fiery passion, nor was it one loaded with secrecy or shame or hurt. And to Vernon, it was his absolute favorite of any of the kisses you two had ever shared. When you looked up at him, you could barely hold in your laughter, his face morphing into the perfect mixture of bliss and confusion.

“But how? You’re moving,” Vernon couldn’t help but ask despite the happiness he felt.

“Slowly. We can visit each other. With my new job I’ve got more flexibility, and you’re all gonna be famous soon anyways,” you only half-joked. “Even when you guys finally do come home, I have a feeling you won’t be there for long…”

He looked down bashfully at that but you placed a hand to his face, angling it back towards you as you looked at him seriously again.

“Vernon. I want us to explore this - the way we are now. If you want to.”

“I do,” Vernon said confidently.

“Then we’ll figure it out,” you said assuredly. “I trust this. I trust us. Ok?”

“Ok.”

—————

When you and Vernon finally left the studio, you found Mingyu, Jay, and Nikki all waiting for you out in the lobby with bated breath. Nikki let out a near shriek when she saw that the two of you were holding hands.

“You guys have my blessing to include the final song,” you said immediately, deciding not to keep them in suspense for any longer.

“Oh thank god,” Mingyu immediately blurted out. “If I’m being honest it’s my favorite and I really wanna make it the single -” Nikki smacked Mingyu’s arm. 

“Ow! What was that for?” 

“‘Gyu would you please think before you speak???”

“What are you talking about??? You screamed before I said anything and have been gushing about double dates for the last five minutes.” 

The two of them continued bickering playfully.

“What they’re trying to say is - we’re really thankful we get to share the song,” Jay translated. “And we’re happy for you guys.”

“I am too,” you chuckled lightly. “Although now that I think about it, I have one request - can you call it Black Eye instead of Pretty Lies?”

The guys all looked at each other for less than a second before speaking in unison.

“Deal!”

—————

It was the day of the showcase. You stood in the crowd once again, just a speck in a sea of thousands of fans as you watched the guys perform. It brought you back to the best parts of old times, sitting around on Jay’s beaten up couch when all they could have hoped for were a hundred people to show up if they were lucky. But now you got to see them on their biggest stage yet, Mingyu happily tapping away at the drums, his head of hair moving all over the place as he kept the beat going. Jay was his usual chill self, just vibing out on the bass contentedly. And then there was Vernon, looking a little shy as the opening chords of Black Eye began to ring out from the strings of his guitar for the first time live. It reminded you of when you’d seen him take the mic at the first gig the guys had ever performed at together, except that now there was a distinct sense of determination in his eyes despite the trepidation that you couldn’t help but admire - the sight awakening a long lost feeling of butterflies in your stomach. He caught you looking at him, gazing at you fondly for one last time before leaning into the mic and beginning to sing.

prev. chapt. | series masterlist

a/n: if you made it all the way here to the end, I just wanted to say thank you to each and every one of you who took the time to read this story! if you've got feels, feel free to share them with me here or reblog the ml if you're so inclined. please take care <3

taglist: @twogyuu @yourfavoritefreakyhan

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

"Cheers for the future bride and groom!" Lily raised the bottle of gin she had sneaked from the party and took a large swing. She wished she could learn to keep a straight face afterwards.

Severus smiled amused beside her.

"You don't really like the bloke, do you?" he said as he grabbed the bottle.

Lily sighed, feeling the alcohol burning down her throat.

"I think Tuney deserves better"

Lily thought the whole engagement announcement was so pretentious. Her whole family was so very happy that Vernon was a "good bloke" from a "good family". Sometimes Lily believed Petunia only got with Vernon because of his money. Not because they were truly in love. Her sister was only 20, she had her whole life ahead of her.

Lily's room was almost dark. The party's music was sounding muffled from downstairs. Lily's mum would make an scandal. The first boy that Lily brought to her room. But it wasn't like that. Lily was comfortable beside her best friend.

"I don't like him either" Severus commented, staring at the bottle on his hands with disdain "He looked at me like I was a freak"

"He does that to me as well" Lily said trying to make Sev feel better. He had been through so much as it was. "Don't take it too personal"

Severus didn't say anything. They kept drinking in silence. Lily sometimes mumbled the lyrics of the songs she liked.

Lily took a deep breath "Okay" she exclaimed, grabbing the bottle again "New Years Resolutions, now" her determination was to make Severus feel better

"You first" He drank as if it was only water. Lily was envious of his capacity to drink.

"First of all, survive another year at Hogwarts"

Severus snorted at this. He nodded in agreement.

"Survive to Potter and Black"

Lily rolled her eyes at the mention of those names. She didn't like those boys. They were complete assholes. She didn't fancy talking about them now.

"Second would be rip off that moustache from Vernon's face"

Lily became funny and silly with alcohol in her system. But she was glad to make Severus laugh.

"Have you seen that thing? It's horrendous"

"It looks like a furry animal stuck to his face" Severus added. Now it was Lily's turn to laugh.

They both giggled in the dark.

"And what is your third?" Severus asked when they became silent.

"Ha?"

"Your third resolution?"

Lily thought about what she wanted for this new year. It was silly but she always thought that every year would be the one for a romantic adventure and it never happened. She was turning seventeen soon. It was an important age. Most characters in her novels were seventeen when they fell in love.

"Maybe..." she whispered "Maybe fall in love for the first time"

Lily blushed immediately as she said it. Severus was going to think she was an idiot.

Though he didn't make fun of her or anything. Lily felt how his eyes stared at her for a bit. Then he just nodded and drank more.

"What about you?" Lily decided to change the subject "What are your three resolutions?"

"I only have one" he replied "Running away..." he said with his gaze lost "Getting as far away as possible from that house"

Another last gulp.

Lily's eyes filled with tears. She decided to grab his hand in comfort.

It had been awful when Severus arrived on Boxing Day, with his face all bruised. His cheek bleeding. Looking skinny and miserable. Lily had cried as she cleaned up his wounds. Severus had mentioned his life at home was awful. But she didn't know it was that extreme.

"Don't cry" he had said, wiping away her tears delicately. "I'm gonna be okay"

Which father could be that awful to hurt his child during Christmas? Which mother could let it happen and then kick her son to the cold street because she was on her husband's side even though he was abusive?

Apparently Severus's parents. Lily wished there was something more she could do.

"You're staying here with me. You're not coming back to that house"

It had been hard to convince her mother. But at the end she had agreed. Felt sorry for the boy. Only until they had to go back to Hogwarts. Then Severus had to make a decision of what to do next.

"Of course I'm taking you with me" Severus added, bringing Lily to the present "We should go far and that way you won't have to deal with your sister and her boyfriend..."

It wasn't that easy. Lily still cared for her mother and her sister. She couldn't just leave. But she didn't want to pop Severus's bubble now.

"Where will we go?" she asked with a smile.

"I don't know" Severus shrugged "What is your dream place to live?"

Lily twisted her mouth in thought.

"I've always liked Greece" she said dreamily. "You know the white sand and clear blue ocean, the old houses. The peace, the nature"

"Greece it is" Severus smiled "We would live happily ever after. Like you dream"

The way Severus said it made Lily shiver a little. He sounded so serious about it. He sounded so determine to leave the next day even. Not looking back. Not thinking about the consequences.

Lily felt pity for him. Severus might not be popular, have money and come from a family of bankers like Vernon. But he was a good person. He didn't deserve all the bullshit he went through. Sometimes Lily wished it didn't feel like the whole world was against him. Starting from his own parents. Going through the whole school of pretentious rich wankers. Finishing up with the worst of them all Potter and Black.

"A greasy nosy freak" they called him "Known to use dirty clothes and have fleas" also the "Teacher's nasty pet".

It wasn't fair. Lily hated how the world was so awful for some people.

Lily squeezed his hand and placed her head on his shoulder.

"We will figure it out, Sev" she said "I promise"

Lily could feel Severus breathing hard beside her. She could also feel his heart beating fast. It was probably the alcohol. She was feeling kind of dizzy herself.

"You're my favorite person, Lily" he whispered "I don't know what I would do without you"

Lily loved Severus but something happened inside of her when he said intense things like those. Lily immediately got uncomfortable and awkward. She didn't know why.

Maybe because she didn't want to hear those words from her best friend but the boy she'd end up falling in love with. The love of her life.

"I really need to pee" she said, letting go of Severus's hand and rising from bed.

Although when she was on her feet, she underestimated how much she had drunk and swayed dizzyly.

"Woah" Severus was immediately on his feet as well, helping her keep steady. He was laughing.

"Oops" Lily tsked turning to face him.

He was smiling. It was that kind of smile that in Severus was once in a blue moon. Lily noticed he was grabbing her arms.

"Are you okay?"

"Dammit" Lily bit her lip, feeling dizzy and lightheaded "How can you be sober? Didn't we drink the same amount?"

Severus smiled "I don't look like it. But I am drunk"

Lily narrowed her eyes "Such a liar! You're only saying it to make me feel better"

Severus shook his head but he didn't stop smiling.

Lily noticed his dark eyes were looking at her widely. The poor light were making them glow. Like a lost puppy. Lily couldn't help but blush under his gaze. It was intense.

"Mum is going to kill me" she said to break the ice "I hope she doesn't notice the missing bottle" and a nervous chuckle.

"I love you, Lily" Severus said.

"I love you too" Lily said it instantly. Because they were best friends after all.

Lily noticed the mistake she made when Severus closed his eyes and leaned in for a kiss.

Lily's first reaction was to push him away. She panicked.

"Sev, what are you doing?"

Severus looked confused for a second.

"I'm sorry, I thought..."

Oh no... Oh no no no.... He had misinterpreted all of it. Lily had a brief montage of how close they had been these couple of days. Lily had cured his wounds. She had fed him and borrowed him old clothes from her father. He had followed her around the house, the neighborhood, the town, like a pup. How she had tried to make him smile or laugh to make him feel better.

It all had been platonic. She would do that for any friend. Especially him. Her best friend. Only that.

There was a moment of silence between them. The music and chattering downstairs.

"30...29...28...."

Immediately, the countdown. Was it midnight already?

"20...19....18...."

"Sev, I don't.... We are just... I don't..."

Lily thought about the right words to use but none of them came to mind. She saw how the smile on Severus's face disappeared. She saw his disappointment. His hurt. His anger. The same expression he used when he told her what had happened with his parents. How tired he was of his father's abuse and his mother's cowardice.

"5...4...3...2....1...." Lily took a deep breath "Happy New Year!"

The cheering from downstairs seemed so distant. Up here, Lily and Severus seemed stuck in time. In another dimension.

Severus shook his head "I'm sorry, Lily"

Lily took a temping step forward but Severus backed away as if he was disgusted.

"I'm sorry" he repeated and Lily could see the guilt on his face.

"It's fine..." Lily whispered under her breath but she realized that Severus was walking out of her room.

"Sev?"

Lily followed him. Down the hall, down the stairs, through the sea of bodies in the living room.

"Sev! Severus, wait up"

All she thought was how she didn't want to lose him. How she didn't want things to be ruined between them. How she didn't want Severus to go back to his shell.

Lily reached to the door and got out of the house.

"Severus!" she yelled to the night.

"Your friend is already gone" someone said that made her jump.

It was Petunia. She was surrounded by a group of people apparently smoking. Even Vernon had a cigarette in hand. Funny how she used to hate when their dad smoked in the house.

"Rude, that one" he said "He pushed through and didn't say goodbye"

"After all we did for him during these days" Petunia tsked. "Honestly he should've gone to the police. Not us"

Lily's eyes filled with tears. Where would he go? Four days more until they had to go back to Hogwarts. He couldn't go back there. And he didn't have anywhere else to go.

"What happened, Lily?" Nancy, Petunia's friend asked with an amused smile "Got into a fight with your boyfriend?"

That provoked some giggles amongst the group. Petunia even twisted her mouth.

"At least I have a boyfriend, Nancy" Lily spat "When was the last time you snogged a bloke?"

The group ooed and laughed. Petunia turned pale. It had been in condifence that she had told Lily how Nancy hadn't kissed anyone. Even at nineteen.

It wasn't fair because Lily had only kissed one boy and it was bad. She couldn't judge.

But it was also confidential Severus's situation with his family. And Petunia had probably told all of her friends.

"Happy New Year" Lily added, as Nancy and the others were throwing daggers at her.

And with that, she came back inside. She would have to talk to Severus at Hogwarts. She was determined to fix things between them.

[keonemei]

“On my worst behavior” Black Eye by Vernon was a huge throwback into the music I’ve liked and still like since I was a teenager. The lyrics were a huge inspiration so here’s my new digital portrait of him. Hope you like it and show some love! 🖤 do not use, edit, reupload without credits, prints without permission.

Find me on @keonemei

[chweck-in]

221219 [ARTICLE]

BLACK EYE is a pop punk song that combines vocals with an upbeat band track. Vernon worked on the lyrics and composition of the song.

[highvern]

Honestly who can hate that boy vernon he's literally just a dude lol although I have my suspicions (and by suspicions i mean i will die on this hill) that hes a fucking FREAK bc after reading black eyes lyrics lemme tell u i was a chAngED woman like woah there !!! Im honestly surprised i don't see more vernon fics with muzzles and spitting in mouths tbh how are we as a fandom normal about this -🍒

He is the embodiment of this emoji🧍🏻and I’ll die on that hill

Honestly, they say the quiet ones are the ones you need to look out for soooooooo

Now this last bit… thoughts are churning

[toruro]

ever since you were posting the lyrics of Vernon’s Black Eye I’ve kept thinking about him with a spit kink Mika why must you do this to me

i read a fic w him having a spit kink just the other day so ya i get it IT'S A CONCEPT. a concept that drives me craaazy O.o