#vent incoming!!! sorry lmao

[hunterwritesstuff]

Snow anon here and I got a request I got based off this I think would be adorable!

https://www.tumblr.com/hunterwritesstuff/747333715543392256/snow-anon-here-and-sorry-if-the-repeat-of-same?source=share

Imagine if work was frustrating enough...clotted cream feels like he needs to calm down when he gets home. When he gets home, he storms to autistic female y/n...and proceeds to just release his pent up fustration by giving into ctueness aggression (recently learned about it on Google.) Like "oh my witches you're so freaking cute and sweet and oh I love you so much get over here, i need your love NOW!" And he releases it in one of two ways!

1. He aggressively snuggles y/n...burying y/n's head into his chest as he kisses the daylights out of the top of her head, causing her to squeal and blush and melt and squirm all at the same time! Clotted cream basks and relaxes at y/n's giggling at the amount of love they are getting and how they are getting so many kisses!

2. He pins y/n down...and tickles the hell out of them to have y/n's laughter calm him down and make his love laugh! He listens to them howl with laughter as he tickles them all over, at his loving mercy...ofcourse ending with a bunch of cuddling!

A way for him to vent out his fustration via showing his wife how much he loves her!

(If ya don't wanna do this, I understand why, it's probably kinda weird lol! Just thought about how frustrated he probably is and would need to vent and thought it would be adorable if he vented it out by drowning his love in affection lmao!)

Of course!

You jumped slightly as you heard the door shut rather forcefully. Sounds like your boyfriend was home and in one of his moods! Most would dread this, but you knew exactly what was coming and you were excited!

You bounced in place as you waited for him to get to your shared room for the incoming affection. The instant the door was opened, you were immediately pulled into his chest, getting bombarded with kisses on the top of your head. "My witches, you're so Goddamn cute." He grumbled, but you knew he didn't mean it in an angry way!

"Do you wanna cuddle out the frustration, baby?" You asked.

"Mhm." Clotted Cream nodded.

"Okay, let's go do that!" You chuckled.

Hope ya enjoy! Sorry it's a little short!

[justawrites]

((Warning, long response incoming!! Sorry in advance!))

I totally agree with your vent post! While I really enjoy the fandom's diverse takes on Nari and Lamb's dynamic, motivations, and designs, I find that in AUs where they’re really horrible to each other romantically, they seem to lack any real chemistry. In these AUs, I often wonder what they could possibly even see in each other and wish they’d just move on, find someone else, or leave entirely. Oh well, at least I can enjoy the neat art styles. :/

I’ve also noticed that in AUs where Lamb abuses Nari, his agency is often completely stripped away, including the ability to care for himself, which feels annoyingly infantilizing. He also simply endures the abuse, like a battered spouse, with little to no pushback. It's frustrating, mainly because it feels like punishment for the sake of punishment, with no real motivations behind it. To me, these portrayals of Nari tend to exclude any grey area and lack nuance in terms of character development. They seem to focus on portraying Lamb as "good™" and Nari as "bad™," all while having the first abuse the second, which leaves a bad taste in my mouth, tbh.

((Btw, I feel that if someone tried to trap Nari again, whether through marriage or whatever else, he would try to leave as quickly as possible. He spent a millennium trapped; even if he could get the crown back, why would he risk staying, only to be trapped again?!))

Honestly, your work is one of my favorite depictions of Nari and Lamb because you give them both agency and clear motivations, while highlighting their strengths alongside their flaws. I particularly love how Nari's departure allows him to heal and find himself. You also take into account the complexity of not just their dynamic, but also their interactions with the Bishops and the rest of the flock. It feels like you genuinely care about how these characters will end up. The AUs you create are so fun, I’m always impressed with how developed your worlds and scenarios are. Ultimately, I find your fics really interesting to read. As someone who loves world-building and visual development, your work has inspired me in how to approach my own AU.

((I have a lot of feelings about this and could go on forever, but I won’t—otherwise, I’d have to include a tl;dr! XD))

But anyways, thanks for your time and have a good one!

(No worry I love long asks <3) Long answer so below the cut

You! You get it! Though I won't sit here and say I don't enjoy toxic fictional relationships, but it all depends on the framing for me. In a lot of cases it feels like shipping for the sake of shipping. I mean in Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, Unfulfilled, I definitely went with the toxic Lamb angle, and the more I think about that particular AU the less I want there to be any sort of positive feelings between the two. The more I think about that AU the less appeal romance has in it for me, and that's how I feel about a lot of AUs I see on here.

That being said, freak4freak power couple who are horrible people to everyone but each other is really fun lmao-

That's a big reason why I started God in a Godless Land in the first place if I'm honest. I wanted to explore a Narinder whose healing journey did not revolved around the Lamb or them being his caretaker, where when they meet again they're on as equal footing as a god and a semi-mortal can be. Spoiler alert, but Narinder and Lamb will have a conversation about this later.

And yeah I find it really boring when people throw nuance out the window. I don't like lumping all the blame on one character. I mean, Narinder was bad, yes, but at the end of the day the red crown was his and the Lamb did betray him, but most people shift it all onto Narinder. Also mostly unrelated but I think a lot of people forget/ignore that he did not want to be spared. He protests when the Lamb spares him and laughs when the Lamb kills him, so when I see an AU where they have him cowering in fear and begging for his life it's just like. I'm sorry what. That cat is not afraid to die. If anything he's probably afraid to live. (Side note, I also take issue with Unholy Alliance pushing almost all of the blame onto Shamura)

But yeah, in a lot of AUs I just. I want Narinder to either leave or find someone in the cult, at least, who will help him detangle his identity from the red crown and death itself. I would love to see more people exploring his healing arc separate from the Lamb. Obviously I tend to focus on his relationship with the Bishops, but it's also nice when people let him strike out on his own.

Narinder spent a thousand years trying to get out of chains, there's no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't let the Lamb even metaphorically chain him down. That's another thing about Godless Land that hasn't really been touched on yet; when Narinder chooses to settle down in Riverwood, it's his own choice. No one is making him stay and he's not subservient to anyone. There is no master, no one to be bowed down to and no one bowing, and he chooses to stay. When Wren confesses his feelings, Narinder can say no. There's no power or status difference between them in the godless lands. He can say no. He chooses Wren purely because he wants to; he isn't bound to obedience or subservience. It's his choice, and it is also so so easy to make these things his choice with the Lamb and cult as well, but all too often it's not. And, in that conversation between them I mentioned earlier, Narinder even acknowledges this; had he stayed in the cult and the Lamb shared with him their feelings, he probably would have accepted because that's how cults work. You don't reject the leader and you don't reject the god. He would have felt like he had no choice.

(Also this is just a personal me thing but I am very bored of the "Narinder tries to get the crown back" angle lmao I mean, go off y'all, write what y'all want and have fun with it. I'm more partial to "Narinder either chills out immediately because sunlight and berries and sleep for the first time in a milennia" or "Narinder goes into retirement mode and just shrugs his shoulders any time anything happens- your cult not mine")

hhhhh thank you so muchhh I really do love the stories/worlds I create. And I understand on some level CotL is like... a story about cults and killing and things are inherently unhealthy, all things considered, but I really really wanted to focus on the idea of Lamb (and the Bishops, once they've chilled the fuck out and basically became cleansed lol) wanting to change the world (even if they end up repeating patterns before figuring it out) and Narinder learning to live again without the weight of the life he once lived on his shoulders. But the shift for the gods from being worshiped deities who command and don't give their followers a second glance to worshiped deities who protect and love their followers...... they really do want to change things hhhgjg

I would have more to say myself but I have 5 minutes before class starts so imma leave the response here kjgfjk but thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying my stories!! I'm having a blast writing them so I'm happy to hear someone out there is enjoying them <3

[yagamisdiary]

I have a love hate relationship with the fact that you enjoy making us suffer throughout the entirety of your books and making us think they will have a bad ending just to give us the best possible endings ever 🥲 ugh i love you so much youre my favorite author ever, while im here i apologize for the incoming paragraphs but i just need to say it:

1. Idk how you do it but the book covers you choose are always so perfect like?? Idk if im explaining myself but i feel like they capture the vibes of the books perfectly

2. Ok now this is kinda personal and i dont mean to sound like im venting, but have you ever read a fic that impacted you so much to the point where you find yourself still thinking about it to this day 😭 bc that's how i feel about both of ur books, they're so beautifully written and i'm always thinking about the characters or going back to read random parts of the books (edit: i had this paragraph written way before parasite was removed okay but i started rereading eldia yesterday because im truly heartbroken, devastated, downcast, miserable, dejected and inconsolable by the fact that its finished)

I discovered you in july-ish 2021 during parasite era but didnt actually read it until june 2022, i was devastated when i finished it but also had to cleanse my soul cause i accidentally burnt my self out during the last few chapters (i mean it in a good way lol, it was rlly hard to read the last 2 chapters 🙇‍♀️ they were written really well and i felt unsettled while reading the beginning of y/ns whole breakdown, i could feel the gloomy depressed vibe it had if you get what i mean), so anyway i moved on to Eldia. At that time, it was fairly new so there were only like 10 or 11 chapters, ive been keeping up with Eldia ever since and its truly bittersweet to see it end like i was literally full on sobbing for no reason 🥲 probably the sentiment of being a reader for 2 years idk lol. Anyway what im trying to say is that your books were one of the only things that helped me escape reality in 2022, i didnt really find joy in anything and hated my life, however ive definitely improved ever since, so im honestly rlly thankful for you Amara 💕

Edit: i just know it sounds stupid and youre probably tired of hearing the same thing over and over, but i've had this written out for like 5 months and was kinda scared to send it because i felt like it was corny, but with Eldia's resolution i felt encouraged seeing all these people tell you what they think :P so sorry for the long ass paragraph lmao, i just needed to say it because i know in 10 years ill be a grown ass woman and still thinking about these books, theyre attached to my brain forever (like a parasite, ironic)

Ok so i doubt ppl will read this (or that you'll even read all of it) so if you reached the end i must say that you actually ate with the baby names in Eldia 🤭 im saying it here to avoid accidentally spoiling anyone but Andromeda 😪 i remember in early july i sent you an anon ask saying that i pictured you as a girl mom and even listed a few names, i was gonna list Andromeda so its kinda funny to me 😭 and Elrose?? Andromeda is my fav name but Elrose grew on me and i actually rlly like it, idk why it just sounds and looks so satisfying OMG DAMN I JUST SCROLLED UP AND DID I REALLY WRITE ALL OF THAT?? IM SO SORRY AMARA 😭😭 i definitely had way more to say but i feel bad now, it was gonna be an anonymous ask but atp i'll just let it be public

to conclude i must say that whenever someone asks me what my favorite books are, i hate that im not able to say "Oh my favorite books are parasite and eldia" because they're considered fanfics and not 'real books', i think thats really stupid, not only because fanfiction is just as valid as what ppl consider 'real books' but because there are so many fanfictions turned into real books or movies?? Ok im done (for now) but as you can tell im not really good at going straight to the point sorry for writing about 10 paragraphs love you queen vivan las escritoras latinas 🤞

1. honestly i find a pic that fits the vibe i want the book to give before i even write the story then i just somehow find a way to incorporate the cover

ex) eldia’s cover is jean with wine all over him, iykyk there’s an exact scene in eldia that references the cover

2. thank u so much 🥲 the ppl who have stuck around the longest always say the most sweet stuff bc yall really have been alongside me for so many years now and were like growing together which is kinda cool

3. i wanted a name that had ambrose and elijah both in it and it was either elrose or embrose but i ended up liking elrose more, embrose was too similar to ambrose

4. i don’t mind the length of the message at all! i love love love reading all the stuff i receive and the ones that are the longest stick with me the most. 🫶🏼

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

(Trigger Warning: CSA and grooming)

So, umm... Little vent incoming (Feel free to ignore)

About the new netflix series and Zvtara/K@t@@ng discourse (regarding if any of these ships will become canon)

I sincerely hope than neither will become canon and they will just stick to Svkka and maybe M@1ko (correct if I'm wrong and either of the actors is underage when the other is not, in which case I will take back what I said). Acting is acting, I get it, but the age difference between the actors rubs me the wrong way and feels extremely uncomfortable.

That said, seeing some Zvtara fans try and delude themselves into thinking, that their ship might just become canon in the series, citing that there are shows out there that had actors with a much bigger age gap play out romantic scenes feels so... fucking wrong.

Like... just because other shows had it (and even emphasizing that the other shows had a much bigger age gap, as if it would make the netflix one any better) doesn't automatically make it morally correct. Especially when it comes to real fucking people.

This goes not to just Zvtara/K@t@@ng fans, but all other fandoms - please for the love of everything holy, leave the authors/actors out of your shitty shipping wars. It's one thing when it's just fictional characters (still stupid, but, at least, no one is getting hurt), but when it comes to real people please have some respect and decency for these people.

Like, I'm a non-apologetic LoliSho fan. I shipped things that would make 80% of the entire atla/lok fandom pass away from just thinking about it (seriously, this fandom is vanilla af), but I keep things strictly fictional, obviously (was abused myself, lolisho is partially my coping mechanism). Yet still, seeing all of these posts that go "It's okay, zvtara still has a chance to become canon, because the age difference between two actors, despite one of them being underage, isn't that bad compared to these other shows!" make all of the alarms in my head go off. Because, as I've said it before, we're talking about real people here, not fictional characters. If that won't make some of the zvtara fans that are hate-stalking this tag/blog, step back and reconsider everything after reading this - then I have officially lost all hope for this shipping community, because the amount of red flags simply cannot be ignored anymore.

And to be clear - same thing goes towards K@t@@ng, because the age gap would still be creepy to me, but I've only seen this take with zvtarians, which is why I'm writing here.

Yeeaaah, so, that's that! Sorry for the vent/rant, lmao. Hope the trigger warnings were enough...

"Seriously, this fandom is vanilla af" Urgh, I felt that one in my soul. Truer words have never been said.

[tonedeaftoaster]

TW!! Mentions of SA and r@pe! So sorry, but I feel the need to put this out there—this is a vent post, and I apologize

I don't like to be controversial on main (lies lmao), but seeing the differences in the people around me and their views of the working class vs the rich in light of recent events is just... Wow.

I live in a small, red town in Illinois. So small, that we have four towns in one school district and that still only adds up to about 70 in my graduating class, and about 250 in the school, total. That's before factoring in the foreign exchange kids and the dropouts. Population? Itty bitty.

I was in history class the other day, and we were discussing wage disparity. Now, I knew that there were gonna be people who didn't exactly believe that the poor should have, yk, rights but I didn't think that they'd be so ignorant. I mean, we're farmers. Yeah, we've got money, but we're still farmers. That was entirely my mistake. During the discussion, the first thing I heard was "we should not decrease the wage gap because some people just work harder". Let me address that one. While yes, some people have harder jobs, and I fully agree that they should make a killing doing those jobs, everyone deserves a living wage. I said that and my teacher "congratulated" me and we had a small discussion on that.

Now, the ignorance that followed is not entirely worth mentioning here, (mostly because I don't remember most of it lol), but then I hear "if you don't have time for multiple jobs because you have kids to take care of, then you should've thought about that before having kids".

I feel I should mention that the three people who participated the most in this discussion were not the bigoted farmers that I expected to. In fact, the people who talked the most were me (very poor), and three other upper middle class girls. There was one farmer boy who mentioned that you could always go back to school (any school, like a trade or such, not just college) and a Trump enthusiast who said her mom got a certificate and that that would be another option. Great! Those are both good answers, and I appreciate their opinions on the matter.

But when I heard—let's call her Janet—say "if you don't have time for multiple jobs because you have kids to take care of, then you should've thought about that before having kids"... That right there is what's wrong. Yeah, it's their fault that they were abused and forced to have kids with their abuser. It's their fault that they were raped after the abortion laws were fucked with, and now they have to raise a child on their own. Next time I'll think about the consequences of my actions before I get DRUGGED and RAPED and forced to have children against my will.

Thankfully, none of that has happened to me, and my heart goes out to everyone that it has happened to. Maybe I shouldn't even be commenting on it. All I know is that people's ignorance is what got that tangerine into office. Ignorance kills, and that's the fucking problem.

The rest of the discussion was (unfortunately) led by me, and I shared my experiences and my boyfriend's experiences with having to find a job at a young age in order to help support your family—the family that already has more than one working income, and yet it's still not cutting it. I was met with people talking over me, and one girl shouting "trauma dump!!" in the middle of my story.

I had a break down shortly after and needed to leave the classroom. After class, my teacher pulled me aside and we talked, and he told me that, unfortunately, these girls will experience what I have at some point or another and they will finally understand what I meant. I said I wish they didn't have to, that they could show some empathy and try to understand. But that's unfortunately the way it'll be. They will not understand until it has happened to them, because they're too far up their own, money filled asses to realize that some people are just poor.

Rant over, I guess. I hope no one finds this, but if you do, thank you for reading and (hopefully) understanding my story.

[choixsimple]

Hey you know how you hear people talking about how "when home interest rates go down, you can just refinance! No big deal, your interest rate can change!"

Well I have some news for you

Refinancing means you essentially open a new loan and close your old one, which means you have to pay closing costs all over again (from $6,000 to $10,000ish, our og mortgage was 8.5k) out of pocket. Sorry what??? Where am I getting that cool 10k so that I can change my interest rate??

This is turning into a vent post lmao sorry but stop telling mid to low income people who can barely afford their new home that they should "just refinance" when rates go down!!! They most likely won't be able to afford to do that so they'll just be stuck paying an insane mortgage rate until they can scrape enough money together, but for context saving $150 per month it would take six years to reach 10k. And most people do not make enough to save more than that — in fact, most people would have trouble with 150.

The interest rate is insane right now (7.4%). The only reason we could buy our (old, cheap) house was because in early 2021, interest rates were around 3.15-3.3%.

We pay $2,275 per month right now, which includes property taxes and a required mortgage insurance because we couldn't afford a 20% down payment.

If we bought our house today (at the same price as 2021) with an interest rate of 7.4%, our monthly payment would be $3,299 per month and that's with a down payment of $22,000. That's an increase of over 1k per month. And that doesn't take into account the price increase — if we go by what our house is worth today, it goes up to $3,693 per month.

We can't afford much more than we currently pay, and our home is already one of the cheapest in the area, so we essentially can't move unless interest rates go down to like 5% which will likely take years.

We can't just move in and refinance later, because we will have used all of our disposable income on a down payment on the new home — hence my original point, it's silly to tell someone "oh it's fine that the payment seems high, you can always refinance" because in reality it's "it might take years for the rates to go down and we can't tell you any sort of ETA, and when they do it'll cost you around 6-10k just to refinance your loan, and if the rates don't move or you can't afford the refinancing fees, you're stuck paying a crazy high mortgage."

[writesology]

hello i've written for once... but it's not what you expected LMAO it's vent fic. absolutely not posting this on ao3 (for some reason this sounds mean to me. it's not i promise) bc i wrote this in like 30 mins and imo it's kinda ooc 😭

i thought it'd be rly bad but then it turned out like. somewhat okay so i figured i might as well post it. as proof uni hasn't managed to kill me yet /hj

anyway uh. warning vent fic ahead teehee. set one year before canon so trey and cater are in their second years and riddle is in his first

If you were to ask Cater Diamond how many times he'd been forgotten, he would simply smile and say "I don't know!"

Most people assumed it was because no matter where he went, he was surrounded by friends. Cater knew this, and yet it couldn't be further than the truth.

It wasn't a matter of how many people he'd befriended. No, it was simply because if you asked Cater this question and refused to settle for his answer, then poked and prodded some more, he would admit with an oddly solemn expression that he wouldn't know where to start counting.

He had been used to it, once; when he was little, and his sisters would laugh as they fed him sweets and paraded him around in frilly dresses, and they'd switch houses right as he'd learned where everything was.

Over time, he'd learned to push his true self down in favor of a person everyone would like. No one wanted his sad, boring real self. But everyone did want his bubbly, upbeat (fake, so, so fake) self, so that was a win!

(He used to think it was wrong, once. Now it comes as naturally as breathing.)

Then he got accepted into Night Raven College. Then he could finally stay in one place for longer than a year or two.

There, he met more people than he ever could've imagined. He met the prince of Briar Valley himself, alongside a shorter mischievous fae. He met (albeit after being starstruck for five minutes) a superstar celebrity.

A guy with flames for hair and his robot brother. A lion beastman. A hunter from the Sunset Savannah. The list went on and on, and by the end of orientation, he knew everyone's names.

But he also met Trey- a humble boy from the Queendom of Roses, and as Cater learned not two weeks into Heartslabyul life, an amazing baker.

That didn't stop them from becoming fast friends, though. Cater knew this had to be it. He could become real friends with someone, instead of simply greetings and superficial conversations.

No, this was someone he could show his real self to.

And it went beautifully. Trey didn't push him away, nor did he belittle any troubles, only offering words of advice and a helping hand whenever Cater needed it.

It took time to let his persona down (even if his real self yearned to be free), but Trey was patient. And Trey would wait as long as he needed to.

With that, a year flew by, and before he knew it, Cater was back in the mirror chamber to receive the incoming first-years.

The ceremony nearly goes to shit, what with that eel merman provoking the guy (Riddle, Cater learned was his name) into a magic fight, but in the end, they leave with Riddle sorted into Heartslabyul and the mirror chamber intact.

Cater supposes that's where it all began- with hair as red as roses and with a blazing temper to match.

It isn't even a week before Riddle sends Heartslabyul's dorm head flying, and the rest of the dorm into a frenzy. Just like that, Cater is swept away- and so is Trey.

Apparently they've known each other since they were kids, and so Cater has no qualms cancelling their hangouts the first few times.

Better to let old friends catch up, right? Even if they are friends, Cater would be foolish to think he stood a chance against Riddle.

(Oh, he didn't want to know just how right he'd been.)

They may not be rooming together anymore, but they still talk a lot despite Trey's new position as vice dorm head. Cater just wishes they could actually hang out like friends more often.

Sorry, I can't make it today. I promised to show Riddle around school.

You can go ahead without me, I have to bake the cakes for tomorrow's Unbirthday Party.

You can settle things, right Cater? I'll go and help Riddle calm down.

Cater Diamond came second whenever Riddle was around. That was just a fact he couldn't change, and no matter how badly he wanted to be important to someone, anyone… it never happened.

He was second, always would be, and he does his absolute best to ignore Riddle and Trey at the next Unbirthday party, pretending not to notice the latter's worried looks.

Once upon a time, Cater had a confidante. Once upon a time, Cater had a best friend. Now he has neither.

Perhaps it is just his destiny to be forgotten as much as he has.

[backhurtyy]

i’m gonna say it. i am sick and tired of seeing ad*m in the official sk8 art.

[boozeandbaddecisions]

Congrats to your Follower Celebration (again? Not sure if I already send an ask *lmao* ) You deserve each of them!!! AND Thank you for your stories L!! Such a fun to read them!!

Do you still take requests??? Not sure...

Anyways... may I request

68. “I like you, like like you like you.” With Jesse or Hardcase?

Caro, my dear. Thank you for your saint-like patience while I was getting life to settle down a bit. I hope you enjoy <3

Warnings: minors DNI, P in V, friends to lovers

“There she is.”

“Hardcase!”

The clone halted his approach and locked his footing as the incoming missile launched at him. His arms extended to catch as soon as your feet left the ground. Arms wrapping around you as you collided with plastoid.

“Easy there, mesh'la.”

He glanced down to see a grin plastered on your face. His chastising going from halfhearted to ineffective in moments.

“What, I can't be excited that you're finally back?”

It had been ages, but after receiving coms that the 501st would be returning to Coruscant for shore leave, your days had been conquered by planning. Shopping lists that would make most bars look under stocked, holo films gathered of all of his favorites with some new additions to try out, and your closet. Your poor closet still looked as if a clothing bomb had gone off as you had spent hours upon hours selecting the perfect outfit to welcome him home.

“That's fair, so what's first on the list?”

“Take out from that hole in the wall and clearing out holo drama recordings?”

The clone tilted his head scrunching up his face as if to mull things over.

“I hear this season's juicy,” You tempted with a smirk, “scandals, betrayals.”

“Alright, you twisted my arm,” He chuckled.

“I can't stay away anymore. I-I love you, Elora.”

“But...you're married to my sister.”

“Only because of the baby, but every second without you is an eternity.”

“Oh, Ambrose.”

“Oh you've gotta be kidding me?!”

“Just why!?”

You upturned your drink polishing it off before placing it among its other empty brethren on your coffee table. The holo drama began offering spicy snippets of the next episode as you both continued heckling the screen.

“This guy's terrible. What the kriff is gonna do when her sister finds out?” Hardcase vented.

He had abandoned his armor as soon as he reached your apartment in favor of some civvies you kept stashed just in case. The clone staggered to his feet. The alcohol already beginning to develop a comforting buzz behind his forehead.

“Resupply?” He asked, gesturing to the coffee table stacked with bottles and take out containers.

The moment you pursed your lips in thought, Hardcases's mind began to wander. How long had it been since you two met? Seemed like you two had always existed like this: sharing drinks, laughing at each other's jokes, always around to welcome him back after a tour. It was great....until he had to leave.

It would start with a hollow pang in his chest, which would eventually run its course. But not even some time dumping rounds through his trusty R6 would help lessen the weight of leaving you behind.

“Case?”

Your face was contorted with concern, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Sorry, spaced out for a minute there.” He dismissed with a chuckle.

Awkward silence invaded the room, which left the clone to retreat to the kitchen for liquid courage.

The holo drama had long since wrapped as you got yourself to your feet. The clone still absent. As you crept towards your kitchen, you caught the end of a one-sided conversation.

“Kriffing idiot.”

“Who's a kriffing idiot?”

He froze. Drinks still in hand. His gaze suddenly finding the floor very interesting.

Your approach went unnoticed until the feel of fingers on his chin, lifting his gaze to meet yours.

“Case, you know you can talk to me, right?”

His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.

“I...Iike you, mesh'la.”

“I like you too.”

He huffed a sigh through his nose, his hand holding your fingers to his face.

“I like you, like like you, like you.”

Your lips parted, heat rising to your cheeks.

“I....if you don't feel the same I und-”

He was silenced by your lips meeting his. The world fell away, only you and the clone who had captured your heart long ago. All too soon, you both came up for air.

A giggle bubbled up from your throat as you took in his adorably surprised expression.

“Good enough of an answer for you?”

The hint of a smirk curled his lips, “I might need you to repeat that.”

Rising to the bait, you pressed your lips to his once more. This kiss deeper and more urgent than the last. You barely heard the clatter of drinks being set hastily on the nearby counter before strong arms wrapped around you pulling you closer. Your tongue ventured out testing the seam of his lips earning a soft gasp from the trooper. The smoldering embers in your belly roaring to life as soon as his tongue joined yours.

“Mesh'la.” He breathed.

The hand at the small of your back twitched. One of his fingers tracing your spine. A surge of boldness took you as you grasped that hand moving it lower. A groan rumbled in his throat as he made contact with your ass. He gave a gentle squeeze to test the waters growing braver once your muffled moan met his ears.

Your own hands wandered the expanse of his chest blindly mapping out his pectorals before moving down to his abdomen.

“You sure about this?” He mumbled against your lips.

“Case, I've waited three tours for this.”

“Alright,”

His hands swiftly moved to cradle your thighs before abruptly lifting you. You felt his grin at your surprised squeak. After the adjustment of encircling your legs around his waist, the trooper began making his way to your bedroom.

Your back soon met the plush mattress with him towering above you.

“Get this off.” You smirked, grabbing a fist full of his shirt.

He pulled away long enough to peel off his shirt tossing the article away.

“Your turn.”

Your top soon met the floor. You soon reached behind you and once you relieved the clasps of their duty, you bra was soon added to the floor. You giggled after following his entranced gaze.

“You can touch.”

He gingerly cupped one of your breasts before he planted his face in between the soft mounds. After another giggle left you, he said something but was muffled. Placing a hand on each side of his head, you lifted.

“Try that again?”

“This must be what heaven feels like.”

You let his head fall back into your chest with a half hearted roll of your eyes. The giggles morphing into moans as soon as his tongue graced your skin. You soon began squirming under him. The roaring fire in your belly only growing hotter.

“Case, come on,”

He lifted his gaze to look into your eyes.

“Pants off, trooper.”

The playful spark in his eyes matched his grin, “Now that's an order I can follow.”

As soon as he stood to disrobe, you took your chance to shimmy out of your pants. Your thumbs were already hooked into the waistband of your panties, but you stopped upon watching his pants hit the floor. A sizable bulge forming a tent in the front of his boxers. You moved forward batting his hands away. Your fingers dipping into the waistband of his boxers. Another hand ghosting over his bulge.

"Nice of you to stand at attention for me," you teased.

His laugh was laced with the undertones of a groan, “Well, when the occasion's right.”

After he gave the okay, his boxers were soon around his ankles. Your gaze plastered on what was hiding underneath.

“We don't have t-”

“Oh no, you're bringing that over here.”

He chuckled returning to his post. His lips seeking out yours. The pressure of his exposed cock against your thigh adding to your thinning patience to have him inside you.

You teeth grazed his bottom lip, “Get on your back.”

His arms wrapped around you as he rolled. Your chests pressed flush to each other. You offered another kiss before shifting to straddle him. His cock offering a delighted throb at being nestled between your sopping folds. Your hips rocked against his, earning a groan that trailed off into a whine.

“Feels so good already.”

Your fingers closed around his length as you lined him up with your entrance.

“Then you'll love this.”

The cheeky reply on his lips died in favor of a gasp. His hands moving to grip your hips. His head lulling back into the pillows. You stayed still to allow your body to adjust to his size. The stuttering twitches of his hips almost eliciting a giggle from you.

“Kriff, you're tight.” He gritted out, fingers pressing harder into your hips.

“I'll move in a minute,” You soothed, your fingertips skating over his chest, “just relax and let me show you how much I've wanted you.”

The look that met yours was equal parts adorable and sexy. His pupils blown wide from lust with warmth swirling within his irises the color of whiskey, and you wanted nothing more than to drink him in.

After a few moments, you gave an experimental rock of your hips. A white hot lance of pleasure shot up your spine. Your gaze locked to the ceiling as your rocking soon became shallow thrusts. Hardcase's strings of whispered praises spurring you onward.

When you tore your eyes away from the ceiling, the sight below was almost your undoing. His chest rose and fell with his ragged breaths. A sheen of sweat had begun to form on his temples. Grabbing one of his hands, you guided his fingers to your folds. His trigger finger resting upon your pearl.

“Case, please.”

Who was he to deny such a request?

It took little guidance apart from demonstrating that circling your pearl resulting in your heat giving him a squeeze. Soon he was easing you toward the peak like a pro. Circling in one direction only to change directions moments later. Alternating pressures and speeds to milk more of those sweet noises from you.

Much too soon for your liking, the peak of your pleasure was upon you, and he never let up. His name a hoarse cry as your back curved. Euphoria exploding along every nerve.

A curse tore from his throat at your muscles clamping down around him. His hips bucking up to chase the tightness. His own end approaching at an alarming rate.

“Mesh'la, I..” He was cut off by his groan.

“In.” You managed before his back arched tight as a bowstring.

His hands pressing your hips to his. His cock pulsing as your pussy continued to milk every last drop of his seed from him.

Eventually you eased him out of you in favor of laying in his welcoming embrace.

“So, you do that with all your friends?” He teased.

You chuffed out a laugh, “Friends, no, but with a boyfriend..”

His lips cut you off.

[rawrtriesagain]

Long post incoming idk how to do Read More on mobile, sorry. Tldr: just a post abt my writing as usual and stuff about my interest in lwa (nothing crazy)

I know I talk abt my old fuckin fics all the fuckin time (like Jesus theyre old enough to be considered toddlers now) but anyway this is my vent blog and y’all will never hear the end of it so guess what still has an absolute GRIP over my mind after 3 years

Its forest of arcan- im jk its dreamer of stars lmaooo. I reread it right now for the funsies after months of forgetting abt it, and each time I read it I think “surely I am over this story and can move on with my life” and like the first half of the story its like yea I kinda am over it haha but then the second half just obliterates the thoughts and runs me over and I just lay in my bed and contemplate my life and go into like a State of Emotions and simply have to talk about it (but it also could be because its 4am at the time of writing this)

I do think it mostly has to do with nostalgia though. Truthfully I’m probably not able to write smth like that again because it was 100% written completely on emotion and quite actually everything bad Diana was feeling in the story was smth i was also going through so it was easy to… write a vent and disguise it as a fic LOL. But I was also running on the high of being in love with my best friend which also really easily translated to everything going on in the fic blah blah nobody remembers it but me so this means nothing to anybody and im being cringe and gay on main (not even my main)

ANYWAY the point of my babbling here is that honestly I miss having that intense amt of emotions that would spur that level of creative writing? Like yea forest of arcana (not updated in over a year) is fun and all but it definitely isnt written on a personal level like dreamer was. I also just genuinely miss writing lol and its like ok bitch why dont you write then and then its like good question why dont i?? I probably still enjoy writing more than i do drawing and i know my blogs say otherwise but the two mediums are both definitely different outlets for my life. Maybe i would change my mind the day my art is actually good tho 😛

Im laffing rn seeing me talk abt this “deep” different outlets of life cause like when u think abt it im also literally just Currently describing little witch fanfic and fanart since thats all i do LOL. Not that theres anything wrong with lwa being my Muse of course, but it just adds humor in whatever the emo hell im going on about

Another side sad mini vent but i dont think im as into lwa as i used to be which also waters down my interests in doing things, but im literally not interested in any other media or fandom rn either so lwa stays my hyperfixation. Plz dont be alarmed lol im not saying im NOT into lwa anymore since diana is still a fuckin god to me like 10/10 chara design and vibes, but its definitely not as strong as it was when i first joined the fandom 3 years ago. And you know what maybe it has to do with me not watching little witch academia in full in those entire three years after i first watched it lmao. Most of the friends ive made in the fandom are pretty much gone too which is sad but is what it is. Sometimes i get a burst of seratonin when i think about smth diakko and definitely like now when i reread my fics i also remember the Emotions i had for these Gays and it like floods back for a bit like a buff.

I think something im very interested in for both the spark of writing and also the revitalization for my love for diakko is that i wanna do like a oneshot slice of life series for diakko. Just something easy, cute, subjectively funny, and a vibe. I still fantasize abt diakko shenanigans even if mundane and i wish i could also capture it more in my art but im not at that level yet, so writing it is. First i probably need to rewatch lwa in full since ive forgotten most everything except for key diana scenes haha oopsie And sucy world episode that was a good fuckin episode.

Anyway thanks for reading this far if you did lol sorry for the LONG ASS NONSENSE POST. Sometimes i see how i type in my blog and to people and compare it to my writing and its like where the hell did my comprehensive english go. Sorry if this was just hard to read from the lack of grammar and punctuation but thats showbiz anyway stay tuned for the next diana content ttyl bffl rofl xD zomg

[leastfavoriteasian]

Just Chatting | Chapter 2 : It Doesn’t Mean I’m Bad

Taglist: Open! Series Masterlist Here!

You put down your phone, jokingly mad at Dream. How dare he think you were bad at Among Us? You were going to kill him today, just for that. Sure, you’ve only played the Skeld Map, but the other ones were confusing anyway.  You went over to your computer to set up for your stream. It had been a while, at least a good month or two since you had last streamed. You had wanted to focus on YouTube for a bit, but it felt good to be back. You put up your Starting Soon screen and started your stream, while opening Discord.  Taking a sip of water and a deep breathe, you unmuted to your stream as chat started rolling in.  “Hi, chat! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You said cheerfully. “I’m guessing you’ve seen Dream’s tweet by now, but today we’re playing Among Us with him and a couple other friends!”

Abbie2738 donated $3: when did you and Dream meet?  You laughed. “Thank you, Abbie, for the three dollars. I mean, me and Dream have interacted a lot, and I’ve talked with a bunch of his friends, so we both like, knew each other existed. But we officially met last night, towards the end of Ranboo’s stream.”  Suddenly your Discord ringtone started ringing.  Incoming Call from Dream and 8 more..

You clicked answer, but immediately muted and deafened. “Anyway, guys, this week’s video is coming out tomorrow! I also don’t stream often so it would mean a lot to follow! And I’m going to turn off donation notifications, so sorry about that, but I will read them afterwards! I’m going to undeafen now!”  You adjusted your stream slightly, and undeafened.  “Ayyyy, that’s pandering, that’s definitely-” Quackity’s voice came. 

“I’m streaming!” You interrupted, hoping that they weren’t talking about anything private that the chat would hear.  “Y/N!” Tommy said. “Help, they’re talking about adult stuff.”  “W-what kind of adult stuff?” You asked, slightly concerned for your friends.  “Y/N! Are you ready?” Quackity asked you. You could hear him radiating with energy.  “Haha, yeah.” You replied. “Let’s get started.”  “Hi, Y/N,” Dream’s voice said softly.  “Hi!” You exclaimed. “Hi, everyone!”  “Who’s making the lobby?” Sapnap asked irritatedly.  “Sorry, sorry, I am,” Dream said quickly. You could hear his keyboard typing.

“I’m going to crush you all,” Tommy announced.  You rolled your eyes at him, and replied, “Sure you are, Tommy.”  “Ready to start the game?” Dream asked everyone. He laughed to himself.  “What are you laughing at?” You asked him.

“Nothing, nothing. Let’s start.”  The game started, and the words CREWMATE flashed across your stream. You let go of a breathe you didn’t know you were holding, and looked around the game. And a realization hit you.  “Dream!!” You exclaimed angrily. All you heard from his end was a wheeze.

“What?” Corpse asked.  “I’ve never played this map before,” You admitted sheepishly. “And Dream knows that.”  “Wait, what?” Tommy demanded. “You’ve never played the Airship map?”  “Well, it’s pretty new.” Sykkuno said in your defense.  You huffed as all your friends’ Among Us characters spun around you in a circle. You could still hear Dream’s laughs.

“I’m sorry, when I heard you’ve only played Skeld, I had to choose a more confusing one,” He said, not sounding very sorry. “Besides, didn’t you say you were good?”  “Wait, when did Y/N tell you this?” Karl asked Dream.

“Literally right before this game,” Dream laughed.

You glanced at your chat for a second.

DreamTeam2839: LMAOOOO DREAM- crazyqueen: poor y/n  iChadhad: I thought they were a gamer? how’ve they never played this bruh2938: is this dream trying to flirt LMAO 

“Oh please, just because I don’t know that map doesn’t mean I won’t beat you,” You said confidently to Dream. Dream laughed.  “Whatever you say, Y/N.”  Most people had already gone to do their tasks. You followed Tommy throughout the entire game since you didn’t know your way around, until Corpse was caught venting and Quackity was voted out, and the two of them were revealed to be the imposters.  “I knew it!” Karl yelled in triumph. “See, I told you it was Quackity.” Sapnap groaned.  “Ok, next round,” 

The words IMPOSTER flashed on your screen, along with Tommy’s red character. You froze, looking at your chat.  abbie8392: FINALLY IMPOSTER Jacobsloeia2: yooooooo pogg dnfforlife: Get revenge on dream!!!

This was going to be difficult, you were new to the map, and Tommy wasn’t the best at lying. But you could pull this off. You went to card swipe, where everyone else was.  “Y/N, where were you?” Sapnap said immediately after you entered with everyone else.  You might be bad at some things, but when it comes to lying? You were so smooth. “What do you mean, where was I? I’m new to this map!” You answered, pretending to be annoyed. “i don’t even know where the vents would be!”  Sapnap laughed. “Ok, fair enough.”  “Does anyone know where you enter your ID?” You asked hopelessly.  “I do,” Dream said, “Follow me.”  “Ok,” You started after his green character. “Sapnap, if I die, you know who did it.”  Dream led you through a hall, where you followed closely. “What other tasks do you have left?” He asked you.  “Basically all my tasks.” You lied. “I don’t know where everything is, you jerk.”  Dream laughed. “I thought you said you were good.”  You smiled. “i am.” You closed the doors behind Dream and you. He let out a yell.

“Y/N!!!”  “Take that back,” You said, jokingly threatening him.  “I take it back! I think you’re a very nice person, and a very good YouTuber and streamer, and you are very pretty and awesome!” Dream stuttered out.  “Pffffft.” You laughed softly. You were so glad your chat couldn’t see your face at the moment. “Dream, you’ve never even seen my face.”  “Is that an offer?” Dream joked. “Sorry, sorry, I’m about to die.”  You smiled evilly. “Just remember. I am good at the game.” You clicked the kill button, and quickly exited the scene. On your way, you passed Karl, who you killed, and then-

VICTORY

“Y/N, WHY?” Dream demanded.  “GG, Tommy!” You said excitedly.  “We’re the best!” Tommy said back.

“Y/N, i’m literally going to go to your house and throw a pillow at you.” Karl threatened.  “Ha, go ahead.” You teased Karl. “I’m just too cracked at this game.”  “Wait,” Dream started, “You and Karl are friends irl?”  “Yep!” You could hear the beam in Karl’s voice. “We live a block away from each other.”  “So you’ve seen Y/N’s face?”  “No, they wear a bag on their head. Yes, i’ve sent their face.” Karl said sarcastically.  “Maybe you will one day too,” You joked. “If you’re ever able to beat me in Among Us.”

Taglist: @criminallyhamilton​, @m1lkmandan​, @dreamsofficialwife​, @endercafe​, @dreamyteam​, @hehered, @yyangii​, @chxrrymilkshake​, @karlsjackbox​

[basedtater]

aro talk vent post!!!! pls do not reblog thanks

tumblr has become my go to place to vent i am very sorry to my followers!!! i have to word vomit somewhere tho and the bestie is working so..... tumblr it is

figuring out im aro has been. complicated. i am happy to mimic alloromantic feelings and vibes because like. i don't want to be alone? and i think at my core i'm willing to do whatever it takes in order to avoid being alone, so if the person i feel close to wants a romantic relationship then i'm down for that! and so much of society is alloromantic that like. that happens a lot. im generally comfortable with it even if i dont really reciprocate the feelings. i think im gonna try to stop doing this maybe but also? lmao its me, i probably won't realistically.

anyways, enter the term qpps. i came into contact with my first real awareness of qpps like a year ago? but like. hearing more about them i don't even know if i experience that or not? because for me, being qpps is all about just. being best friends but staying together. basically what polyam folk call nesting partners, but platonic

but i was thinking about it and like. i don't even really want a nesting partner. i more so want a roommate/best friend to live with for the rest of my life. i don't mind dating outside of that but im mad uncomfortable living with my romantic partners because of the volatility of romance in general. i will if forced into the situation but like preferably id like to live separately but still nearby. (solo polyam ftw)

but the thing that gets my goat each and every time is that i will do literally whatever it takes not to be abandoned and like. i'm not even always aware of it? i will ignore my own boundaries and incoming red flags bc i just. hate being by myself. but at this point so many people have said "i'll never leave your side" and then left anyways that im getting better at not falling for that tbh.

tldr; i dunno i just want a platonic roommate best friend who won't abandon me and i don't know if that counts as qpp or not (maybe??) but im at least. kind of figuring out what i want my future to look like and drawing boundaries of what i'm actually comfortable with rather than just jumping into whatever i think will make my partners happy or whoever won't just abandon me five seconds in

i do not know how to move forward from this but. its good to at least be aware of it i think.

[dragynkeep]

(vent post incoming)

I don't think I'm over that fit some RWBY stans on Twitter threw about Yang's birthday art of her in a sexy dress. Like the dress first off wasn't even bad, like it showed a good bit of leg big whoop, but then you have the added hypocrisy of these same people supporting a show that sexualizes its female characters like... all the god damn time. Like I'm fine with sexy female characters but fuck me don't get moral only as convenient.

Plus you have them saying it's out of character for Yang to want to wear a pretty dress for her birthday? Like I'm sorry but do people even remember Volume 2? Stop projecting onto her please Yang would fucking rock a dress like that for her birthday.

okay so like i’ve heard of this through the grapevine & i don’t know everything about the situation but i reminds me about the fanartist who did the art for the rwby skateboard & rwbytwt lost their damn minds. because they went onto the person’s pixiv & didn’t like the porn they drew, which is hilarious considering the sexualization of the characters in the show.

rooster teeth knows sex sells & the rwbytwt fndm who has to elevate rwby against “all those icky japanese anime full of pedos”, just dripping in their racism, doesn’t want to acknowledge that. or that crwby are just as perverted about the characters. we all remember monty jacking off to her scenes, right? or miles talking about how tifa looks like a sex worker. or neptune saying he would peel off neptune’s skin so he could fuck yang.

sexy is fine, acting like frollo is not, fndm. ♥

also yang would absolutely wear a dress & the weird wlw in the fndm who are so desparate for yang to be butch give me such gross vibes its unreal. she is canonically a party girl who likes dresses & biker jackets & can fix a damn bike. she can be more than one thing, stop trying to fix her in the butch dyke box to blake’s femme as if that isn’t incredibly heteronormative lmao.

[androgynousblackbox]

Sorry i just needed to vent but creepshows video about a trans csa survivor artist who drew porn of an underage FICTIONAL character was so fucking offensive like the video itself dismisses the abuse that the artist went through despite her saying she uses it to cope and the fact that the comments were full of idiotic antis saying "lmao the lgbt community dosent claim this pedo" and albeists making fun of her mental illness and her LIKING the comments makes me so fucking angry man!

Crapshow is a garbage person so of course she is going to have a garbage audience. It wasn’t not even just that, but the wave of pure hatred that Aggy recieved because of that video was so big that you couldn’t blink a second on her profile without finding people tagging the FBI, putting in doubt her abuse, putting in doubt her gender identity, putting into doubt. When I tell you all those comments were VILE I am not exaggerating. Of course there was also a lot of support too, not only from pro shippers but people who knew the law, people who saw that art was OBVIOUSLY cathartic of something fucked up and others who genuelly enjoyed her art style. She went from a pretty fucking humble artist with less than 1000 followers to 2000 and more, which is still humble but a lot bigger than what she had before Crapshow ever looked on her direction. Her influence would have been minimal if not for that video. But the harassment continued, people tried to take down the comics Aggy was selling in other sites, they succeeded in taking her Etsy shop and finally she had enough so last I knew about her, she had abandoned social media. Before that she has aldo tweeted about recently losing her job because of Covid. Who knows where the fuck she is now or what she is doing in order to have food on her plate. So all those fuckers, instigated by Crapshow herself, who had no qualms to call her a predator with no evidence of any real victim, the worst artist on twitter despite being the same platform where fucking SHADMAN is in, went to a completely unkown trans woman artist obviously working through some traumatic experiences on her art clearly tagged, clearly marked for an adult audience (which didn’t stopped Crapshow to share it to her underage audience, of course, even though herself had made sensual drawings on the past on the background of her videos and there was NEVER any warning) and took away one of her sources of income just after she had already lost her job, putting every single part of who she was to be scrutinized by people whose thirst for moral superiority made it all the more cruel. I think I heard too that she has been doxxed so, hey, maybe that means that the cops were called on her and god know what could have happened. Maybe she doen’t even have a house anymore, who knows! I don’t! I fucking despise Crapshow. I hate the people who did that, but she can go to hell for all I care. She saw this artist that she KNEW hasn’t done anything to anyone. This artist who NO ONE would have know about if it wasn’t because of her. This artist that wouldn’t have any kind of support when things went wrong. This artist whose only crime was to use HER art to cope with trauma and Crapshow blasted her with all her influence, all her support and never even blinked. Countless people tried to reason with her, mind you. People far more compassionate and understanding me than me tried to reach out to tell her about none of that bullshit was at all necesary, and all she had to say about it “uwuw i am tired to argue about why pedophilia is bad uwuwuwuw”. What a fucking piece of shit. That is not even the single one thing she did. She also made public donation request on her twitter asking people to post their paypal so she could send them money, making a bunch of her UNDERAGE fans to post paypals that positively revealed their personal information. She has been so flippant and so fucking irresponsible on the way that she handled the Vanity’s situation that one of her fans ended up trying to catch a REAL LIFE PREDATOR, which could have ended terribly bad for them, because they tried to be cool and hip like Crapshow when treating those issues. And you better believe t that she is a verygood reason why there were later minors on twitter publishing CSEM on twitter as it were fanart to “denounce it” and, if not, at least I have no doubt that she didn’t helped AT ALL with the mentality that real life pictures = fanart and therefore they can be treated on exactly the same way interchangeably. If their favourite youtuber was publishing barely censored “cp” on the thumbnail, then they could do the same when they found CP with real children, right? Shitting all over the victims because god knows is not about them. It was never about protecting anyone. It was about them. Them and their fucking clout. I am right there with you, anon. These people were vindictive, cruel and stripped everything away from someone who didn’t had much in the first place. And for what? FOR FUCKING ART. Crapshow ruined someone’s life who hasn’t done anything to anyone and I hope someday comes back to bite her in the ass, I really fucking do. I will not shred a single tear for her.

[atopearth]

Collar X Malice Part 1 - Enomoto Mineo Route

It was hard choosing between Cafe Enchante, Code Realize and Collar X Malice, but I decided to choose the latter because I think it sounds the most interesting to me, and I'm not really in the mood for magical or steampunk fantasy hahaha. I'm still not really into the art style of Collar X Malice though haha. Anyway, I always find it saddening to see people killed for a group's justice/ideologies since a lot of the time, it's not like they particularly targeted a specific person, but alike this case, they target a specific group of people - the police. It always makes me wonder about how cruel it is thinking how of all people, it had to be them, and what other people who were "luckily" not in their place would feel? Would they feel guilty but happy that it wasn't them? Or just rage over the idea that they've done this to their colleagues? It's always terrible to think about the lost of freedom of the captured, how they live in fear for months over the possibility of their incoming death, and then having to experience death without even really knowing why it had to be them. I already find the setting quite interesting, not only does it seem like a terrorist organisation is rampant, but the government decides that enclosing people inside Shinjuku to find these terrorists before the supposed X-Day is the best measure, and even giving people over the age of 20 guns for self-defence is certainly a fascinating way to handle things. It obviously isn't a great idea, but I'm curious to see what would happen~ Wow, it was obvious things would be tense but seeing normal people aim their guns at police officers calling them useless to vent out their stress and anger at being stuck in Shinjuku is pretty scary... this is definitely not a good time to be a police officer. I think it's great to see how different both Mochida and Ichika are, but still see how they both are really kind in their own ways. Mochida may have been a hot-headed guy back in the day (as he says), but seeing him right now shows how mature and strong he is. He knows how to calmly handle situations, and also prioritise protecting Ichika. I think it's really sweet to know that when the guns were first distributed to citizens, Ichika used to get really scared when people would pull the gun on her, but Mochida would always protect her. It's nice to see that she's now also grown enough to handle it in her own way by calmly writing down their firearm numbers (on each individual gun to identify people).

Saeki seems like a cool guy too! I love how he encouraged her during their training academy days that to shoot is to protect, and that helped her have the conviction to try her best to practise shooting with a gun. I love how Ichika trains daily even though it seems like her department doesn't really "need" it, I like her passion for her work. Feels bad for Ichika that she had to experience near-death from poison, that's pretty scary. On the other hand, the CG with Yanagi desperate to save her was pretty. I thought Enomoto was the harsh one, but it seems like it's actually Sasazuka who is hahaha. Shiraishi seems like the mad scientist type, but a fun one? Lol. Ooh he does criminal profiling and is the director of the Field Ops team/the forensic part of things. Hmmm so Yanagi and them are all former cops. I wonder what the people who put the collar on Ichika mean when they call her a sympathiser that may exact their will in the future? How does killing police and other people through the X-Day incidents exact the justice they desire? Maybe there's more to the specific people they killed and the police are hiding it? Lmaooo when Enomoto did his introduction to Ichika and took out a fan for the kabuki style intro hahahaha.

Aww, Okazaki is so cute, I like him, I think he's my favourite right now. He seems innocent but suspicious at the same time haha. On the other hand, Sasazuka is pretty intense, I felt sorry for Ichika when he so chillingly stared at her at such a close distance, like geez personal space please, even if you hate her lol. I'll admit that the questions she asked were pretty obvious, but that's because I can see it objectively whereas she's actually in the situation so it's more tough for her. At least Yanagi is nice enough to explain anything she doesn't understand. Lmao when Okazaki fell asleep on her shoulder. I think it's really nice how Okazaki gives off such a gentle feel, I guess it's not too hard to gauge what kind of person Ichika is considering how easily she went along with him and even let him sleep on her shoulder for half an hour lol. Honestly if I had to pick a suspicious Adonis guy, I would have to pick Saeki (sorry if I'm wrong😂), mainly because I feel like he understands her passion best and he even spends time drinking with her and knows her quite well. Lmao I find it so cute how "traditional" Enomoto is being shocked at Ichika taking the drunk Saeki back to his house and having gone over to his house many times loll. HAHAHA when Saeki kinda woke up for a bit and said Enomoto must be Ichika's boyfriend and they both rejected the idea adamantly. The funniest thing was when she said Enomoto wasn't her type (in retaliation of him saying the same thing to her) and he got hurt by it lmaooo.

Ohh I see, so the police officers who were captured and killed in the beginning of the game were actually "corrupt". Hmm it's interesting how each of the incidents involve very different types of cases, it feels more like Adonis is comprised of different people with different thoughts rather than just one team with one objective or just one person. It seems that one thing Adonis can agree on is that it thinks of bullying as the ultimate crime imo🤔 Trust me to be interested in the case that the guy I'm least interested in (Sasazuka) is in charge of. Nothing against Sasazuka but he's not really appealing right now so hopefully he'll change my mind haha. Anyway, I quite like Enomoto so I'm excited to check out his route~ He's the most "normal" I guess? Maybe it's because he's close in age to Ichika so he's straightforward but not super nice like Yanagi, and not so extreme like Sasazuka, and not weird like Shiraishi haha. Enomoto seems like such an awkward guy with women, it's so cute hahaha. HAHAHA, I loved it when he said "I didn't just think you were cute or anything like that!" He's so hilarious. It was cute how she popped an ice cube into his mouth when he drank the scalding hot tea lol. I think it's pretty cute how Ichika already kinda knows how to deal with him lol.

On the other hand, Ichika's little brother seems like such a little shit to her right now lol. He's probably protecting his friend from bullying or whatever but still, his attitude towards his sister is pretty bad. I'm definitely warming up to Sakuragawa, she's like the girl friend Ichika needs that helps her with the guys since they're all confusing to her lol. Is it just me suspecting everyone or does Shiraishi's playfulness telling Ichika to try her best to not die in this collar "test to see if she's worthy by Adonis" sound like the playfulness of Adonis during the May incident with the killing of the four police officers?🤔 Anyway, lmao at how shy Enomoto is that he immediately ran away the moment he accidentally bumped into Ichika, and she tried chasing him but he's way too fast lol. It's so cute how he came running back when she tripped and scraped her leg though lol. Enomoto was so hilarious when he piggybacked her and tried to calm himself down saying he shouldn't think and only feel HAHAHA, not sure if that's gonna help you😂 It's so funny how he doesn't know how to handle all these situations with Ichika but demands to be a gentleman, I love it. I also couldn't help but laugh when he told her the reason he wore an eyepatch is because he respects Date Masamune hahahaha, to be fair, I think it's awesome how much he loves the Sengoku era part of history, and to be fair, the eyepatch thing is pretty hot. Just as I was about to say Sasazuka was really annoying asking whether Ichika was serious about this and talking about her collar, (like dude I'm sure she's the one who is the most worried, she's the one that's going to die, just because she doesn't look like she's doing anything doesn't mean she isn't, she's just not as smart, and it's not like she can throw aside all her other problems just for this), Enomoto stood up for her!! I was so happy. I'm also happy Ichika finally said something against Sasazuka and it was for Enomoto! But it does seem like Sasazuka is kinda concerned for Enomoto or maybe just his case hahaahha. Anyway, sometimes Ichika just takes so much shit from Sasazuka, I honestly feel bad for her.

Omgg, the police officer called Fujii who had been confirmed dead from the April/May incident was actually Enomoto's senior and he really respected him as the embodiment of justice? They even seemed so friendly... No wonder why he lacks the motivation to find the truth about these incidents. He probably wouldn't know what to do if he really found that the guy he admired all this time really was a criminal... But at the same time, since he had the resolve to leave the police for this, shouldn't he hope to investigate and find evidence that maybe Adonis was wrong? But I guess I can see why he would be so down. It honestly broke my heart to see Enomoto filled with anger looking at Fujii's dead body... Especially when he was trying this best to save him by looking everywhere for him... He was so close.. oh..I see, Enomoto really did try to prove Fujii's innocence, until he actually found undeniable evidence of the opposite..That's sad.. Honestly, I thought I would find Enomoto frustrating to deal with, and I guess in a sense he can be, considering how he can't let go of the case but at the same time he's not doing anything about it. But I just relate so much to him being stuck in a rut right now, I just couldn't blame him. His reasons are of course more understandable than mine, but yeah that feeling of being stuck and not knowing how to handle it really kills. Anyway, Ichika in terms of words didn't really do much, but I think just chasing after Enomoto and expressing to him that she wants to continue being his case partner and that she would never betray him was enough, the rest depends on if he can face it and her.

Is that guy with piercings in a band with Kazuki, Okazaki??? That's so random lmao. (EDIT: no, I’m just not used to the art so they looked similar to me LOL, my bad Okazaki!) When it comes to Kazuki, I can understand his frustration considering how his sister never has the time for him and his parents are insistent on him inheriting a boarding house he doesn't care for, but what I hate is how he blames everything on Ichika without looking at his own problems. Whenever Ichika tries in any way to talk to him, he's hostile about it, has he ever cared about her? Has he ever asked her how she's doing?? She's the one that has to go to work so many hours a day during a crappy time like this, and it's not even the best time to be a part of the police, but has he ever thought to ask her how is she doing physically and mentally??? Instead, she's always trying her best to make his meals, feed him properly and using any time she has to speak to him in some way but he never appreciates it and never sees it as anything more as she's "annoying". Yeah, he's going through a rebellious teenage stage but he annoys me so much because it's all about me, me and me, and he doesn't spare a thought to her, she's not even his mother but she has to take care of him like she's one and he still complains about her without even trying to communicate himself. Lmao when Enomoto used Ichika as a body pillow and drunkingly told her how cute he thought she was hahahaha. HAHAHA, I love how dramatic Enomoto is to dogeza to Ichika and apologise for his drunk self, I nearly died when he misunderstood so badly he was about to propose to her😂😂😂 Anyway, Ichika trying to have a proper talk with Kazuki when he's sleeping is definitely not a good idea lol! For one, he's definitely someone who hates waking up, so the idea of her waking him up early + being in his private space would definitely annoy him lol, I still think he's an ass but I feel like Ichika should properly think about and communicate with him to find a time they can both be calm and talk without anything like work interfering. Okay, lmao at Enomoto reciting the numbers for pi to calm himself down, can this guy can get any more funnier and cuter?🤣🤣 Hahahaha, it's so Enomoto to say he wanted to be a policeman because of police dramas right after Ichika talked about her touching story of wanting to help people😂 I honestly can't get enough of Enomoto, I love how straightforward and honest he is complimenting Ichika's food, and I love how he's such a doting older brother. He's so sincere with everything, it's so sweet. Blushing Enomoto is the cutest thing everrr!

Honestly, seeing Enomoto be so mature and own up to Kazuki that it was rude of him for being loud in their apartment was nice, but wow, Kazuki is such a shit that he can't even treat guests with any form of politeness. Like seriously dude, does the whole world owe you something that you feel like you need to treat every person like crap? Hahahah, I love how Ichika decided to tease Enomoto a little bit when he finally returned her feelings (towards the cases), and decided to try again with the investigations having her as his partner. I feel like they suit each other well because they're both unafraid to speak their feelings towards each other and tease each other. HAHAHA LMAO when Enomoto shouted so loudly on the streets asking Ichika to be his partner, I died from laughter, especially when he followed up with a please😂😂😂 It's kinda funny how Yanagi kinda deciphers for Enomoto and them what Sasazuka means even if he's being pretty harsh, he's like Sasazuka's interpreter lmao. Anyway, I'm glad Enomoto also told Yanagi and Sasazuka properly about his intentions and apologising for not doing anything the whole time he's been there. Honestly, I loved the part when Enomoto came to save Ichika, it was just so cool how he put a coat on her (since the thugs told her to strip or they'll kill the hostage) and then beat those guys up. I just love how dorky he can be, but also how mature he is when it's required. I also find it so sweet that Enomoto didn't reprimand her or anything about being rash without a plan, and instead told her that her efforts weren't in vain since it took the thugs off guard and gave him time to subdue them. I really liked the part where Ichika held Enomoto's hand as he talked to her about Fujii. It never really occurred to me that Enomoto would have possibly thought that Fujii died because of him. Since it was because Enomoto started racking up achievements and was transferred to Field Ops that it apparently made Fujii feel desperate to get a promotion, leading to all those false arrests he did... It must hurt to think that the person you respected in the end became desperate for their own position because of you. It's pretty saddening as well since Enomoto genuinely felt encouraged with Fujii's support and words, and it was because of Fujii that he was able to achieve what he could. Personally, I feel that even if Fujii did feel like that, I'm sure he was also happy for Enomoto, because being happy for them but dissatisfied with your own position doesn't have to contradict each other. Anyway, for some reason when Hana appeared, I couldn't help but imagine the idea of Kazuki being a part of Adonis...🤔🤔

I love how easily Enomoto is able to lighten the mood of the story. It's so adorable how he practised before asking Ichika out for lunch hahaha. It's so cute how Enomoto and Ichika bond over pudding hahaha. I think what I love the most about Ichika and Enomoto is how frank they are with each other. There's no misunderstandings because Enomoto will always explain what he means when he says things, and he always tells her his appreciation for what she does. Maybe that's the influence from Fujii, he really knows how to encourage others and reassure them. I find it so funny how Ichika knew Enomoto doesn't like carrots but was too shy and prideful to admit it, so she suggested exchanging her bowl for it and even said she loves carrots sooo much lmao. Enomoto is so honest even when it comes to texts hahaaha, it's cute how he actually told her he thought it would be just them two going to Kazuki's concert. I also really liked how Enomoto helped Ichika to understand that Kazuki doesn't really hate her, he just thinks that she doesn't care about him or his dream, and that's understandable since she's so busy. It became obvious that the crazy one was Hana but I didn't think she would ruin Isshiki's concert considering she's such a big fan of him. But yeah, I really admire Isshiki for being able to pick himself up after losing his big chance at debuting because of Fujii's mistaken arrest, it was also nice to know that Fujii really regretted his actions and sent many letters to apologise for ruining his dream at that time. My heart really hurt for Enomoto having to hear that Fujii begged for his life but Hana happily tortured him to death. It was just so heartbreaking. I honestly can't take it when I hear or hear about people say they don't want to die, it always makes me cry. I can totally feel Enomoto's rage, so I'm glad Ichika was there to remind him of his justice, just like how he was there to remind her to keep calm about Kazuki being a hostage.

LOL I kept missing the trigger for trigger mode because I had no idea where I was supposed to aim for, I had to Google and find out that it's the bold outer red ring lol. Sorry Enomoto for missing so many times lmao. Anyway, Saeki's "last words" do make it seem like he's the Adonis guy who got her caught up in all this with the collar, but at the same time Akito seems like he knows something too? As for Hana, is she being controlled or brainwashed or something? Well, it's okay, I'm just glad that Kazuki and Ichika can finally talk a bit more and have each other both realise that they both do care for each other and were just jealous of what each other had that the other didn't (Ichika was jealous that Kazuki was smart and their parents had expectations of him, whereas for her, they didn't seem to care, but at the same time, Kazuki was jealous of the freedom Ichika had to become a cop like she wanted to). It makes me wonder though, is Adonis actually made up of a bunch of dissatisfied cops? I love how frank Ichika and Enomoto are with each other, it was so cute how they were arguing about how nice Enomoto was being hahaha. I loved it so much when he said she was the best partner he could ever ask for, my heart melted. I also loved how he reassured her about Saeki, since they're police and putting their life on the line for the people they protect is something they all understand. Lmao when Enomoto was so proud that Ichika called him Mineo and wanted to stay as the only one Ichika calls by first name hahaha, he's so silly.

I was wondering what led to the mistaken arrest with Isshiki and Ogata, and omg, that's honestly pretty saddening. I feel more sorry for Ogata though, his life literally fell apart with him losing his job and family when all he did was try to stop the drunk guy from going crazy harassing Isshiki, and then he tried to stop the guy from suiciding but was mistakenly seen to have pushed him. That's bad, especially since what made Ogata admit to his guilt was basically pressure and stress from dealing with it all, and the reputation of Fujii and his testimony made those who handled the case further biased into thinking Isshiki and Ogata really did it. Like, at least for Isshiki, it may have been a chance of a lifetime but he still has people around him who believe in him, but who does Ogata have? It was surprisingly easy to get Ogata to talk, but it's not like he's a professional killer considering he's driven by revenge... Anyway lmao when Sasazuka got some info that would help Mineo but said he didn't do it for him, and Mineo called him a tsundere hahhaha. Anyway, I loved Mineo's confession, it just felt so sincere, sweet and full of affection and care for Ichika, I was super happy for her~ I wonder if Akito was going to join Adonis but decided not to because he realised that if Adonis continued, then Kazuki's dreams would be destroyed (since Shinjuku would be in chaos). I think Ichika personalising her reasons for wanting to stop Adonis other than the killing is wrong thing helped Akito put into perspective that not only are their actions wrong, but also that what they're doing isn't helping people like Kazuki who are trying their best despite all the fear and murders in this city. I assume that the bomb that someone told the police to disarm was related to Akito then. Anyway, I wanted to say Mineo was silly for playing right into Ogata's hands by punching him and stuff, but Mineo is right, even with Ichika's support, this isn't something he can just magically get over especially when it comes to Fujii. Blame the bad guy and not the victim! Otherwise, I'm soo happy with Kazuki and Ichika's relationship right now, they're so cute, I love how he's really helping to encourage her to just straight up tell Mineo her feelings and stop dilly-dallying haha. It was so hilarious when Mineo thought Ichika cooking for him and confessing to him was like a dream or something that's happening after death lmaoo, I'm glad she put him in his place and said it's disrespectful to her for saying that when she's trying so hard to tell him she likes him though haha.

Seeing Ichika and Mineo act as a couple is so cutee, and LOL when Mineo told Kazuki he can call him big brother now hahahahha. I really like Isshiki, I think his speech at the concert was really touching because you could feel how much he was hurt by the wrongful arrest, but at the same time you could feel how grateful he was to the police he originally hated. It doesn't mean he necessarily likes them again, but at least he understands that there are police like Ichika and them who are willing to sacrifice their lives for others and I think thanking them for that was really heartfelt and kind of him to do, especially considering what Ogata is saying on TV now. On the other hand, I really feel for Ogata because imo, he lost much more than Isshiki did. Isshiki may have lost a once in a lifetime chance for his dream, but he never lost himself. For Ogata, he lost everything that supported him as a person, his family, his job, probably his friends, but I think his biggest lost was his sense of justice and his principles. He must have always thought that as long as you do what you think is right, then justice will prevail, but from his wrongful arrest, it was proven untrue and I feel like that was probably what shattered him the most, the fact that what he believed in his whole life (as a person with a strong sense of justice) was a lie. Anyway, I like Minegishi, he's a pretty cool guy, rational and kind. Also glad Sasazuka worked with the police to get Ichika's collar off, I felt so relieved for her, and I loved how Mineo cried a bit after hearing it, he cares about her so much. Aww I really liked how Mineo staged that farce at the TV station to make Ogata realise for himself that the justice he seeks isn't really in the destruction he's trying to cause right now. Otherwise, it's kinda anti-climactic that the route just ended after that lol! It felt so random. But I did think it was cute how Mineo practically proposed to Ichika, and it was nice to see him go back to the police, I think he really belongs there. Adonis just giving up was random since I don't feel like Ogata or the collars were what made up the core of their being and values but whatever, can find that out in other routes. The tragic love ending was pretty sad, like I felt so bad for Ichika, but also for Mineo. Sad for Ichika that she lost what it meant to be a police officer for herself, and sad for Mineo that he thinks that he "ruined" her by making her decide that saving him was more important than the justice she and Mineo strove for together. It was pretty devastating to see Mineo try to tell her that they could get through this together but Ichika couldn't do it and just left, that was pretty heartbreaking. Seeing Ichika's indecision in other bad endings were pretty sad, I think they could have developed them better, especially the one where Mineo shot Ogata, but oh well, not important haha.

Overall, I really loved Mineo. Most of his route was great, but I do think the way they handled Ogata was more awkward than I liked since I feel like, they could have explored his pain better? Other than him repeating how his life was ruined by the police, you didn't really get much of his story from him aside from the fact that he was a guy who believed in justice, which was obvious, so I personally think if they did that better, Mineo could have understood him better too? Like, Isshiki was easier to understand because Kazuki's dream and respect for Isshiki helped to build on his character, but Ogata didn't have that. Anyway, those are probably my only gripes because omg Mineo was such a highlight. Honestly, I didn't expect much from Mineo because whenever anyone mentions this game, it's always about how great Sasazuka and Shiraishi are, but wow, I love Mineo SO MUCH. He never failed to make me smile and laugh throughout the entire route because he was such an earnest, wholesome and sweet guy. I loved how awkwardly he handled relationships and love (it's so cute to see the guy flustered instead every now and then), but it was also great to see how cool he could be when he expressed his thoughts and feelings to Ichika. I really enjoyed the two of them together because it really felt like a normal relationship where they both support each other, tell each other off and work things out together. I could really feel why and how Mineo came to appreciate Ichika, and I could feel why Ichika would fall for someone so cool yet silly. I liked how they dealt with Mineo's past and reasons for being the way he was as well, and I think that was the best part of the route, I really felt his anguish and torment over Fujii, and all his confusion over his beliefs and what he should do now, I absolutely loved all that. Definitely a touching, sweet but also heart-wrenching route, I don't know if the others can top this for me honestly but we shall see!

[maerenee930]

i’ve tried typing this like four times now and every time i start and after i’ve written quite a bit, i convince myself to just stop cause i’m being dramatic and i need to calm down. however, i’m trying to let myself feel how i need to and i really just need to get my thoughts out for a moment cause i’m feeling overwhelmed right now. i’m sorry that this doesn’t make much sense and i’m really sorry if everything i’m venting about doesn’t make much sense. 😣 i’m sorry, my head is just all over the place right now. i also just at the moment don’t feel like physically writing in my journal. i’m really sorry 😣😓 you can totally scroll past this! it’s really not all that interesting and i honestly feel like i’m just overreacting right now.

i know everything is gonna be alright. i know everything is going to work out and that i’m the long run is a really good thing. i just- right now it doesn’t feel that way 😣 everything feels like it’s spiraling right now.

i’m trying so hard to not have a panic attack and cry in from to the little dude 😭 all though, i suppose that after this week i won’t have to worry about that anymore… so that’s something i guess 😓

i get why they don’t need me anymore. it doesn’t make sense for them financially. it just really really fucking sucks.

and it keeps hitting me that i haven’t given my parents money for rent this month yet. i know i still have some time. it’s just that the last time this happened when i stopped watching the little girls i used to take care of (which also felt like it was pretty sudden) i let my anxiety and depression get the better of me and didn’t have any form of income for a while and ended up owing my parents quite a bit of money. i still do technically owe them that money 😣 i mean the difference between then and now is that i’m in therapy and will be able to talk about this with my therapist on monday and will be able to work with her to help me find something else. i just- man this feeling is so overwhelming right now. fuck 😣😭 and i still have gifts to buy for the little girls i used to take care of (cause i’m thankfully still apart of their lives) for their birthdays and gifts for my younger cousins for their birthdays as well… i don’t have any experience doing anything else… i don’t wanna work in retail or costumer service cause i’ve had family me never recently who have worked in those fields and just seeing what they’ve gone through, that is not the right line of work for me. but i also can’t be picky because i need to make money.

i could go back to school but that doesn’t feel like the right option because i don’t even know what i would go back to school for- i can’t think of anything at the moment. i know there are things i’m interested in that i could go to school for- i just- school gives me so much anxiety 😣 and anything i would actually want to do, it’s not realistic to try and pursue cause the chances of that actually happening are slim to none. so… yeah…

i’m also trying so hard not to be angry right now. cause this is life. i knew this wasn’t going to be a job that would last more than a few more years… but i just didn’t expect it to be that this week is my last week with the little dude. pms isn’t helping and because i’m genuinely not hungry, (not just cause of my anxiety but it’s mostly cause of pms) i haven’t been able to take my medication yet. so that’s not helping. and just- ugh!! fuck!! what the fuck am i gonna do 😭

again, i know everything is going to be alright, work out and that this really is the best for me because i know i don’t want to be a nanny for the rest of my life. but i haven’t even totally figured out yet with my therapist as to what i’d want to do in a few years when i thought i was going to be done taking care of him. dude, i just wanna curl up in bed and fucking sob right now. i mean i could do that but i really don’t wanna cry more in front of the little dude and i can’t keep telling him it’s cause my anxiety is bad. i mean it’s true. but like i just don’t wanna keep repeating myself honestly. that sounds so shitty, i’m so sorry 😣

why can’t i just move to somewhere in england or ireland and just leave all the bullshit that i’m currently dealing with 😅😓 can i just please be an actress and be able to do what i’m truly passionate about and what i’ve dreamt of doing since i was a kid? 🥺 also, i love that k wanna work in an industry that’s very hard to get into and actually make it in 🤦‍♀️ i feel like a fucking idiot right now lmao. this really fucking sucks. also, how much time is an appropriate amount of time to give yourself after losing a job before you start pushing yourself to start looking for another?

fuck, i knew i wanted to start actually taking some time off because last year i didn’t unless i absolutely had to for some reason (like a doctors appointment) and then because i didn’t, i was actually forced to take time off because i was physically not able to work due to stress and anxiety. not just from work but from a lot of other things that we’re going on that we’re super unnecessary and just very unnecessarily stressful 😣🤦‍♀️ but i didn’t expect it to be like this much time, you know? 😅😣😭 fuck!!

just what am i gonna fucking do? 😞

i am so so sorry! i’m done now 💙 i just needed to get all of that out.