#vent incoming!!! sorry lmao

[joeymets]

ughghghghhhhhhhhh

[woodsy-hoe]

not me saving up money for my birthday only to have to spend it on prescriptions my insurance won’t cover because they’re ‘experimental’ 🙃

[hunterwritesstuff]

Snow anon here and I got a request I got based off this I think would be adorable!

https://www.tumblr.com/hunterwritesstuff/747333715543392256/snow-anon-here-and-sorry-if-the-repeat-of-same?source=share

Imagine if work was frustrating enough...clotted cream feels like he needs to calm down when he gets home. When he gets home, he storms to autistic female y/n...and proceeds to just release his pent up fustration by giving into ctueness aggression (recently learned about it on Google.) Like "oh my witches you're so freaking cute and sweet and oh I love you so much get over here, i need your love NOW!" And he releases it in one of two ways!

1. He aggressively snuggles y/n...burying y/n's head into his chest as he kisses the daylights out of the top of her head, causing her to squeal and blush and melt and squirm all at the same time! Clotted cream basks and relaxes at y/n's giggling at the amount of love they are getting and how they are getting so many kisses!

2. He pins y/n down...and tickles the hell out of them to have y/n's laughter calm him down and make his love laugh! He listens to them howl with laughter as he tickles them all over, at his loving mercy...ofcourse ending with a bunch of cuddling!

A way for him to vent out his fustration via showing his wife how much he loves her!

(If ya don't wanna do this, I understand why, it's probably kinda weird lol! Just thought about how frustrated he probably is and would need to vent and thought it would be adorable if he vented it out by drowning his love in affection lmao!)

Of course!

You jumped slightly as you heard the door shut rather forcefully. Sounds like your boyfriend was home and in one of his moods! Most would dread this, but you knew exactly what was coming and you were excited!

You bounced in place as you waited for him to get to your shared room for the incoming affection. The instant the door was opened, you were immediately pulled into his chest, getting bombarded with kisses on the top of your head. "My witches, you're so Goddamn cute." He grumbled, but you knew he didn't mean it in an angry way!

"Do you wanna cuddle out the frustration, baby?" You asked.

"Mhm." Clotted Cream nodded.

"Okay, let's go do that!" You chuckled.

Hope ya enjoy! Sorry it's a little short!

[boozeandbaddecisions]

Congrats to your Follower Celebration (again? Not sure if I already send an ask *lmao* ) You deserve each of them!!! AND Thank you for your stories L!! Such a fun to read them!!

Do you still take requests??? Not sure...

Anyways... may I request

68. “I like you, like like you like you.” With Jesse or Hardcase?

Caro, my dear. Thank you for your saint-like patience while I was getting life to settle down a bit. I hope you enjoy <3

Warnings: minors DNI, P in V, friends to lovers

“There she is.”

“Hardcase!”

The clone halted his approach and locked his footing as the incoming missile launched at him. His arms extended to catch as soon as your feet left the ground. Arms wrapping around you as you collided with plastoid.

“Easy there, mesh'la.”

He glanced down to see a grin plastered on your face. His chastising going from halfhearted to ineffective in moments.

“What, I can't be excited that you're finally back?”

It had been ages, but after receiving coms that the 501st would be returning to Coruscant for shore leave, your days had been conquered by planning. Shopping lists that would make most bars look under stocked, holo films gathered of all of his favorites with some new additions to try out, and your closet. Your poor closet still looked as if a clothing bomb had gone off as you had spent hours upon hours selecting the perfect outfit to welcome him home.

“That's fair, so what's first on the list?”

“Take out from that hole in the wall and clearing out holo drama recordings?”

The clone tilted his head scrunching up his face as if to mull things over.

“I hear this season's juicy,” You tempted with a smirk, “scandals, betrayals.”

“Alright, you twisted my arm,” He chuckled.

“I can't stay away anymore. I-I love you, Elora.”

“But...you're married to my sister.”

“Only because of the baby, but every second without you is an eternity.”

“Oh, Ambrose.”

“Oh you've gotta be kidding me?!”

“Just why!?”

You upturned your drink polishing it off before placing it among its other empty brethren on your coffee table. The holo drama began offering spicy snippets of the next episode as you both continued heckling the screen.

“This guy's terrible. What the kriff is gonna do when her sister finds out?” Hardcase vented.

He had abandoned his armor as soon as he reached your apartment in favor of some civvies you kept stashed just in case. The clone staggered to his feet. The alcohol already beginning to develop a comforting buzz behind his forehead.

“Resupply?” He asked, gesturing to the coffee table stacked with bottles and take out containers.

The moment you pursed your lips in thought, Hardcases's mind began to wander. How long had it been since you two met? Seemed like you two had always existed like this: sharing drinks, laughing at each other's jokes, always around to welcome him back after a tour. It was great....until he had to leave.

It would start with a hollow pang in his chest, which would eventually run its course. But not even some time dumping rounds through his trusty R6 would help lessen the weight of leaving you behind.

“Case?”

Your face was contorted with concern, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Sorry, spaced out for a minute there.” He dismissed with a chuckle.

Awkward silence invaded the room, which left the clone to retreat to the kitchen for liquid courage.

The holo drama had long since wrapped as you got yourself to your feet. The clone still absent. As you crept towards your kitchen, you caught the end of a one-sided conversation.

“Kriffing idiot.”

“Who's a kriffing idiot?”

He froze. Drinks still in hand. His gaze suddenly finding the floor very interesting.

Your approach went unnoticed until the feel of fingers on his chin, lifting his gaze to meet yours.

“Case, you know you can talk to me, right?”

His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.

“I...Iike you, mesh'la.”

“I like you too.”

He huffed a sigh through his nose, his hand holding your fingers to his face.

“I like you, like like you, like you.”

Your lips parted, heat rising to your cheeks.

“I....if you don't feel the same I und-”

He was silenced by your lips meeting his. The world fell away, only you and the clone who had captured your heart long ago. All too soon, you both came up for air.

A giggle bubbled up from your throat as you took in his adorably surprised expression.

“Good enough of an answer for you?”

The hint of a smirk curled his lips, “I might need you to repeat that.”

Rising to the bait, you pressed your lips to his once more. This kiss deeper and more urgent than the last. You barely heard the clatter of drinks being set hastily on the nearby counter before strong arms wrapped around you pulling you closer. Your tongue ventured out testing the seam of his lips earning a soft gasp from the trooper. The smoldering embers in your belly roaring to life as soon as his tongue joined yours.

“Mesh'la.” He breathed.

The hand at the small of your back twitched. One of his fingers tracing your spine. A surge of boldness took you as you grasped that hand moving it lower. A groan rumbled in his throat as he made contact with your ass. He gave a gentle squeeze to test the waters growing braver once your muffled moan met his ears.

Your own hands wandered the expanse of his chest blindly mapping out his pectorals before moving down to his abdomen.

“You sure about this?” He mumbled against your lips.

“Case, I've waited three tours for this.”

“Alright,”

His hands swiftly moved to cradle your thighs before abruptly lifting you. You felt his grin at your surprised squeak. After the adjustment of encircling your legs around his waist, the trooper began making his way to your bedroom.

Your back soon met the plush mattress with him towering above you.

“Get this off.” You smirked, grabbing a fist full of his shirt.

He pulled away long enough to peel off his shirt tossing the article away.

“Your turn.”

Your top soon met the floor. You soon reached behind you and once you relieved the clasps of their duty, you bra was soon added to the floor. You giggled after following his entranced gaze.

“You can touch.”

He gingerly cupped one of your breasts before he planted his face in between the soft mounds. After another giggle left you, he said something but was muffled. Placing a hand on each side of his head, you lifted.

“Try that again?”

“This must be what heaven feels like.”

You let his head fall back into your chest with a half hearted roll of your eyes. The giggles morphing into moans as soon as his tongue graced your skin. You soon began squirming under him. The roaring fire in your belly only growing hotter.

“Case, come on,”

He lifted his gaze to look into your eyes.

“Pants off, trooper.”

The playful spark in his eyes matched his grin, “Now that's an order I can follow.”

As soon as he stood to disrobe, you took your chance to shimmy out of your pants. Your thumbs were already hooked into the waistband of your panties, but you stopped upon watching his pants hit the floor. A sizable bulge forming a tent in the front of his boxers. You moved forward batting his hands away. Your fingers dipping into the waistband of his boxers. Another hand ghosting over his bulge.

"Nice of you to stand at attention for me," you teased.

His laugh was laced with the undertones of a groan, “Well, when the occasion's right.”

After he gave the okay, his boxers were soon around his ankles. Your gaze plastered on what was hiding underneath.

“We don't have t-”

“Oh no, you're bringing that over here.”

He chuckled returning to his post. His lips seeking out yours. The pressure of his exposed cock against your thigh adding to your thinning patience to have him inside you.

You teeth grazed his bottom lip, “Get on your back.”

His arms wrapped around you as he rolled. Your chests pressed flush to each other. You offered another kiss before shifting to straddle him. His cock offering a delighted throb at being nestled between your sopping folds. Your hips rocked against his, earning a groan that trailed off into a whine.

“Feels so good already.”

Your fingers closed around his length as you lined him up with your entrance.

“Then you'll love this.”

The cheeky reply on his lips died in favor of a gasp. His hands moving to grip your hips. His head lulling back into the pillows. You stayed still to allow your body to adjust to his size. The stuttering twitches of his hips almost eliciting a giggle from you.

“Kriff, you're tight.” He gritted out, fingers pressing harder into your hips.

“I'll move in a minute,” You soothed, your fingertips skating over his chest, “just relax and let me show you how much I've wanted you.”

The look that met yours was equal parts adorable and sexy. His pupils blown wide from lust with warmth swirling within his irises the color of whiskey, and you wanted nothing more than to drink him in.

After a few moments, you gave an experimental rock of your hips. A white hot lance of pleasure shot up your spine. Your gaze locked to the ceiling as your rocking soon became shallow thrusts. Hardcase's strings of whispered praises spurring you onward.

When you tore your eyes away from the ceiling, the sight below was almost your undoing. His chest rose and fell with his ragged breaths. A sheen of sweat had begun to form on his temples. Grabbing one of his hands, you guided his fingers to your folds. His trigger finger resting upon your pearl.

“Case, please.”

Who was he to deny such a request?

It took little guidance apart from demonstrating that circling your pearl resulting in your heat giving him a squeeze. Soon he was easing you toward the peak like a pro. Circling in one direction only to change directions moments later. Alternating pressures and speeds to milk more of those sweet noises from you.

Much too soon for your liking, the peak of your pleasure was upon you, and he never let up. His name a hoarse cry as your back curved. Euphoria exploding along every nerve.

A curse tore from his throat at your muscles clamping down around him. His hips bucking up to chase the tightness. His own end approaching at an alarming rate.

“Mesh'la, I..” He was cut off by his groan.

“In.” You managed before his back arched tight as a bowstring.

His hands pressing your hips to his. His cock pulsing as your pussy continued to milk every last drop of his seed from him.

Eventually you eased him out of you in favor of laying in his welcoming embrace.

“So, you do that with all your friends?” He teased.

You chuffed out a laugh, “Friends, no, but with a boyfriend..”

His lips cut you off.

[yagamisdiary]

I have a love hate relationship with the fact that you enjoy making us suffer throughout the entirety of your books and making us think they will have a bad ending just to give us the best possible endings ever 🥲 ugh i love you so much youre my favorite author ever, while im here i apologize for the incoming paragraphs but i just need to say it:

1. Idk how you do it but the book covers you choose are always so perfect like?? Idk if im explaining myself but i feel like they capture the vibes of the books perfectly

2. Ok now this is kinda personal and i dont mean to sound like im venting, but have you ever read a fic that impacted you so much to the point where you find yourself still thinking about it to this day 😭 bc that's how i feel about both of ur books, they're so beautifully written and i'm always thinking about the characters or going back to read random parts of the books (edit: i had this paragraph written way before parasite was removed okay but i started rereading eldia yesterday because im truly heartbroken, devastated, downcast, miserable, dejected and inconsolable by the fact that its finished)

I discovered you in july-ish 2021 during parasite era but didnt actually read it until june 2022, i was devastated when i finished it but also had to cleanse my soul cause i accidentally burnt my self out during the last few chapters (i mean it in a good way lol, it was rlly hard to read the last 2 chapters 🙇‍♀️ they were written really well and i felt unsettled while reading the beginning of y/ns whole breakdown, i could feel the gloomy depressed vibe it had if you get what i mean), so anyway i moved on to Eldia. At that time, it was fairly new so there were only like 10 or 11 chapters, ive been keeping up with Eldia ever since and its truly bittersweet to see it end like i was literally full on sobbing for no reason 🥲 probably the sentiment of being a reader for 2 years idk lol. Anyway what im trying to say is that your books were one of the only things that helped me escape reality in 2022, i didnt really find joy in anything and hated my life, however ive definitely improved ever since, so im honestly rlly thankful for you Amara 💕

Edit: i just know it sounds stupid and youre probably tired of hearing the same thing over and over, but i've had this written out for like 5 months and was kinda scared to send it because i felt like it was corny, but with Eldia's resolution i felt encouraged seeing all these people tell you what they think :P so sorry for the long ass paragraph lmao, i just needed to say it because i know in 10 years ill be a grown ass woman and still thinking about these books, theyre attached to my brain forever (like a parasite, ironic)

Ok so i doubt ppl will read this (or that you'll even read all of it) so if you reached the end i must say that you actually ate with the baby names in Eldia 🤭 im saying it here to avoid accidentally spoiling anyone but Andromeda 😪 i remember in early july i sent you an anon ask saying that i pictured you as a girl mom and even listed a few names, i was gonna list Andromeda so its kinda funny to me 😭 and Elrose?? Andromeda is my fav name but Elrose grew on me and i actually rlly like it, idk why it just sounds and looks so satisfying OMG DAMN I JUST SCROLLED UP AND DID I REALLY WRITE ALL OF THAT?? IM SO SORRY AMARA 😭😭 i definitely had way more to say but i feel bad now, it was gonna be an anonymous ask but atp i'll just let it be public

to conclude i must say that whenever someone asks me what my favorite books are, i hate that im not able to say "Oh my favorite books are parasite and eldia" because they're considered fanfics and not 'real books', i think thats really stupid, not only because fanfiction is just as valid as what ppl consider 'real books' but because there are so many fanfictions turned into real books or movies?? Ok im done (for now) but as you can tell im not really good at going straight to the point sorry for writing about 10 paragraphs love you queen vivan las escritoras latinas 🤞

1. honestly i find a pic that fits the vibe i want the book to give before i even write the story then i just somehow find a way to incorporate the cover

ex) eldia’s cover is jean with wine all over him, iykyk there’s an exact scene in eldia that references the cover

2. thank u so much 🥲 the ppl who have stuck around the longest always say the most sweet stuff bc yall really have been alongside me for so many years now and were like growing together which is kinda cool

3. i wanted a name that had ambrose and elijah both in it and it was either elrose or embrose but i ended up liking elrose more, embrose was too similar to ambrose

4. i don’t mind the length of the message at all! i love love love reading all the stuff i receive and the ones that are the longest stick with me the most. 🫶🏼

[chickalupe]

Feeling very down right now, just want to vent...

(Treating this like my old Livejournal since I don't really have anywhere else I can complain LMAO)

I've been out of work since August after completely running out of FMLA.

Between getting severe COVID in February and being out recovering for 6 weeks -- and then with Long COVID making the chronic fatigue and migraines I already had even worse -- I ended up missing so much work that I used all the time FMLA allowed before the year was even half over.

I'm living with my parents now and don't really have income except my savings; honestly most days I don't have the physical or mental spoons to even contemplate applying for even a part-time remote position yet. Thankfully I also have a retirement fund I am slowly cashing in, even if that also isn't really sustainable long-term. (But me losing my insurance will definitely be an issue soon when I run out of refills for my prescription meds...)

I'm aware that I've been pretty isolated since August; I've gotten maybe like two texts from former co-workers. I'm mostly asleep during the daytime and don't drive, so going out is hard. The person I consider my BFF is out of state and is busy with their own life. The only people I talk to most days are my Mom and Dad. (Admittedly, I am also pretty terrible about calling or texting people!) Tumblr has thus been the majority of my social interaction, for good or ill.

On top of all that, my birthday is this Friday and I always find myself depressed anyway this time of year. Like, it's probably half Seasonal Affective Disorder, and half a reminder that I'm a year older and having mixed feelings about where I am in life, IDK... But the current situation of *gestures vaguely at everything* isn't helping. So I am very blergh in general.

My parents and I had made vague plans a couple weeks ago that we could all go out for dinner on my actual birthday; nothing fancy, maybe the nearest sit-down Mexican restaurant. I was kinda looking forward to it. Mom just informed me that she is now unavailable after 5pm on my b-day itself since she offered to babysit kids for someone in their church that evening and night. We can't do it tomorrow night either, because Mom & Dad will be at a craft show from 4pm to 10pm.

And... it's fine, I guess. I'm disappointed but I'm an adult. I'm not gonna throw a tantrum or yell and cry or try to guilt her about it. She brought me flowers from the grocery store as a sort of peace offering and says we can still have cake or whatever. We'll probably do something on Saturday instead.

But EVERY YEAR, it's something. Last year, it was the cheesecake I asked for as a birthday cake getting dropped on the way into the house from the car; over half of it was smushed and then Dad stole the best remaining slice for himself. The two years before that, it was during the worst of the pandemic so I just had mediocre delivery food. I literally cannot remember the last birthday I really enjoyed in over a decade and half.

Another big source of anxiety right now -- we found out have 60 days to move since the leasing company is selling this house. So we have to find a new place, be packed and then move by January. Meanwhile home inspectors, realty agents and potential buyers are walking through while we're still living here, and it's super stressful. Words can't express how much I hate strangers being here any and all days of the week.

I guess I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I'm not trying to be whiny or woe-is-me, but my mental health right now is uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... Not Great (tm) 😅. I do try hard to be positive but it just takes so much energy and I'm stressed and a little numb.

Not really sure how to end this. I just really needed to put it all in writing as a journal-type situation so that I don't end up crying in real life LOL.

Current Mood: burnt-out 😑

Current Music: HGTV playing in the background

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

(Trigger Warning: CSA and grooming)

So, umm... Little vent incoming (Feel free to ignore)

About the new netflix series and Zvtara/K@t@@ng discourse (regarding if any of these ships will become canon)

I sincerely hope than neither will become canon and they will just stick to Svkka and maybe M@1ko (correct if I'm wrong and either of the actors is underage when the other is not, in which case I will take back what I said). Acting is acting, I get it, but the age difference between the actors rubs me the wrong way and feels extremely uncomfortable.

That said, seeing some Zvtara fans try and delude themselves into thinking, that their ship might just become canon in the series, citing that there are shows out there that had actors with a much bigger age gap play out romantic scenes feels so... fucking wrong.

Like... just because other shows had it (and even emphasizing that the other shows had a much bigger age gap, as if it would make the netflix one any better) doesn't automatically make it morally correct. Especially when it comes to real fucking people.

This goes not to just Zvtara/K@t@@ng fans, but all other fandoms - please for the love of everything holy, leave the authors/actors out of your shitty shipping wars. It's one thing when it's just fictional characters (still stupid, but, at least, no one is getting hurt), but when it comes to real people please have some respect and decency for these people.

Like, I'm a non-apologetic LoliSho fan. I shipped things that would make 80% of the entire atla/lok fandom pass away from just thinking about it (seriously, this fandom is vanilla af), but I keep things strictly fictional, obviously (was abused myself, lolisho is partially my coping mechanism). Yet still, seeing all of these posts that go "It's okay, zvtara still has a chance to become canon, because the age difference between two actors, despite one of them being underage, isn't that bad compared to these other shows!" make all of the alarms in my head go off. Because, as I've said it before, we're talking about real people here, not fictional characters. If that won't make some of the zvtara fans that are hate-stalking this tag/blog, step back and reconsider everything after reading this - then I have officially lost all hope for this shipping community, because the amount of red flags simply cannot be ignored anymore.

And to be clear - same thing goes towards K@t@@ng, because the age gap would still be creepy to me, but I've only seen this take with zvtarians, which is why I'm writing here.

Yeeaaah, so, that's that! Sorry for the vent/rant, lmao. Hope the trigger warnings were enough...

"Seriously, this fandom is vanilla af" Urgh, I felt that one in my soul. Truer words have never been said.

[flashbackonyourbehalf]

**NOTE: I CANNOT DONATE ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. I have no income. I have had to turn off asks twice now because so many people are asking me for money that I don’t have, so at this point, if you ask me for money, I will block you. Im sorry, but I cannot help you.

**ANOTHER NOTE: I apologize if my blog is more doom and gloom than usual. I’m going through a hard time, with my eating disorder back in full swing, but I’ll try to keep those thoughts on my ED side blog.

Traumagenic DID system of about 20 members. Anti-endo.

I don’t condone SH or EDs but sometimes we need to vent and we post a wide variety of shit, including things related to addiction, autism, disability, and queerness.

Sideblogs:

@bloodredrage - side blog for Adrian, 21, persecutor/protector

@sadscaredboy - side blog for Eddie, 14, trauma-holder

@autistic-archivist - side blog for all things TMA

@diary-of-a-dream - side blog for documenting my most notable dreams

@the-arms-of-malice - side blog for when my eating disorder acts up (which is now)

(I do also have a side blog for hornyposting but I am keeping that 100% separate from this one lmao)

[rawrtriesagain]

Long post incoming idk how to do Read More on mobile, sorry. Tldr: just a post abt my writing as usual and stuff about my interest in lwa (nothing crazy)

I know I talk abt my old fuckin fics all the fuckin time (like Jesus theyre old enough to be considered toddlers now) but anyway this is my vent blog and y’all will never hear the end of it so guess what still has an absolute GRIP over my mind after 3 years

Its forest of arcan- im jk its dreamer of stars lmaooo. I reread it right now for the funsies after months of forgetting abt it, and each time I read it I think “surely I am over this story and can move on with my life” and like the first half of the story its like yea I kinda am over it haha but then the second half just obliterates the thoughts and runs me over and I just lay in my bed and contemplate my life and go into like a State of Emotions and simply have to talk about it (but it also could be because its 4am at the time of writing this)

I do think it mostly has to do with nostalgia though. Truthfully I’m probably not able to write smth like that again because it was 100% written completely on emotion and quite actually everything bad Diana was feeling in the story was smth i was also going through so it was easy to… write a vent and disguise it as a fic LOL. But I was also running on the high of being in love with my best friend which also really easily translated to everything going on in the fic blah blah nobody remembers it but me so this means nothing to anybody and im being cringe and gay on main (not even my main)

ANYWAY the point of my babbling here is that honestly I miss having that intense amt of emotions that would spur that level of creative writing? Like yea forest of arcana (not updated in over a year) is fun and all but it definitely isnt written on a personal level like dreamer was. I also just genuinely miss writing lol and its like ok bitch why dont you write then and then its like good question why dont i?? I probably still enjoy writing more than i do drawing and i know my blogs say otherwise but the two mediums are both definitely different outlets for my life. Maybe i would change my mind the day my art is actually good tho 😛

Im laffing rn seeing me talk abt this “deep” different outlets of life cause like when u think abt it im also literally just Currently describing little witch fanfic and fanart since thats all i do LOL. Not that theres anything wrong with lwa being my Muse of course, but it just adds humor in whatever the emo hell im going on about

Another side sad mini vent but i dont think im as into lwa as i used to be which also waters down my interests in doing things, but im literally not interested in any other media or fandom rn either so lwa stays my hyperfixation. Plz dont be alarmed lol im not saying im NOT into lwa anymore since diana is still a fuckin god to me like 10/10 chara design and vibes, but its definitely not as strong as it was when i first joined the fandom 3 years ago. And you know what maybe it has to do with me not watching little witch academia in full in those entire three years after i first watched it lmao. Most of the friends ive made in the fandom are pretty much gone too which is sad but is what it is. Sometimes i get a burst of seratonin when i think about smth diakko and definitely like now when i reread my fics i also remember the Emotions i had for these Gays and it like floods back for a bit like a buff.

I think something im very interested in for both the spark of writing and also the revitalization for my love for diakko is that i wanna do like a oneshot slice of life series for diakko. Just something easy, cute, subjectively funny, and a vibe. I still fantasize abt diakko shenanigans even if mundane and i wish i could also capture it more in my art but im not at that level yet, so writing it is. First i probably need to rewatch lwa in full since ive forgotten most everything except for key diana scenes haha oopsie And sucy world episode that was a good fuckin episode.

Anyway thanks for reading this far if you did lol sorry for the LONG ASS NONSENSE POST. Sometimes i see how i type in my blog and to people and compare it to my writing and its like where the hell did my comprehensive english go. Sorry if this was just hard to read from the lack of grammar and punctuation but thats showbiz anyway stay tuned for the next diana content ttyl bffl rofl xD zomg

[betasuppe]

Why are you working yourself up so much over this blog? Is it your main source of income? Is it relevant to your survival in any shape or form? Do you really NEED it in your life to be happy? Is the validation you get through it so important? These are questions i keep asking myself a lot too. I don't want to give you any adivce on what to do with your blog, cause that is only up to you what you decide in the end. but maybe think about why this makes you feel so horrible cause it seems to happen a lot lately and its worrying.

Just... take care of yourself is what I'm trying to say 💖

Idk what's really wrong with me, man. But I appreciate you breaking it down like this to me. & uh. More stuff under the break. Please feel free to ignore, I just want to get this shit off my mind...

To be fair, I really don't have any sort of social life irl... at all. Here? This is basically the only place I'm actually able to be myself & my blog kinda turned into a huge vent station for me because I can't get out my thoughts or issues anywhere else haha

Then beyond my blog, my art dies in my sketchbooks. I don't have anyone to show my crap to. I don't have anyone to babble with about any of my fandoms or AUs. That's why this blog has become so much of an emotional struggle for me. I love it & I hate it both.

I know the hunt for neverending validation is toxic & impossible as hell, but it genuinely feels good to know I have anything of an audience for my silly content beyond me myself & I. No matter, I can barely even process compliments or positive responses while my insecurities are on an all time high lmao

But also, dont get me wrong! I'm very very grateful for the friends I've made here!... but true deep set lonesomeness can't be fixed so easily.

I just always feel like a nuisance. I don't think my work is any good at all & so any nice comments tend to ring hallow because... well, how could it mean anything really when all I see is my own ineptitude?

Anyways. I know I'm a pain in the ass & my mental health is a fucking roller coaster. I know leaving here long term would be healthy for my mental state but also. At what cost?

Sorry for the ramble. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I don't know. I'm just numb & hurting all at once. I'm sorry I'm like this.

[basedtater]

aro talk vent post!!!! pls do not reblog thanks

tumblr has become my go to place to vent i am very sorry to my followers!!! i have to word vomit somewhere tho and the bestie is working so..... tumblr it is

figuring out im aro has been. complicated. i am happy to mimic alloromantic feelings and vibes because like. i don't want to be alone? and i think at my core i'm willing to do whatever it takes in order to avoid being alone, so if the person i feel close to wants a romantic relationship then i'm down for that! and so much of society is alloromantic that like. that happens a lot. im generally comfortable with it even if i dont really reciprocate the feelings. i think im gonna try to stop doing this maybe but also? lmao its me, i probably won't realistically.

anyways, enter the term qpps. i came into contact with my first real awareness of qpps like a year ago? but like. hearing more about them i don't even know if i experience that or not? because for me, being qpps is all about just. being best friends but staying together. basically what polyam folk call nesting partners, but platonic

but i was thinking about it and like. i don't even really want a nesting partner. i more so want a roommate/best friend to live with for the rest of my life. i don't mind dating outside of that but im mad uncomfortable living with my romantic partners because of the volatility of romance in general. i will if forced into the situation but like preferably id like to live separately but still nearby. (solo polyam ftw)

but the thing that gets my goat each and every time is that i will do literally whatever it takes not to be abandoned and like. i'm not even always aware of it? i will ignore my own boundaries and incoming red flags bc i just. hate being by myself. but at this point so many people have said "i'll never leave your side" and then left anyways that im getting better at not falling for that tbh.

tldr; i dunno i just want a platonic roommate best friend who won't abandon me and i don't know if that counts as qpp or not (maybe??) but im at least. kind of figuring out what i want my future to look like and drawing boundaries of what i'm actually comfortable with rather than just jumping into whatever i think will make my partners happy or whoever won't just abandon me five seconds in

i do not know how to move forward from this but. its good to at least be aware of it i think.

[choixsimple]

Hey you know how you hear people talking about how "when home interest rates go down, you can just refinance! No big deal, your interest rate can change!"

Well I have some news for you

Refinancing means you essentially open a new loan and close your old one, which means you have to pay closing costs all over again (from $6,000 to $10,000ish, our og mortgage was 8.5k) out of pocket. Sorry what??? Where am I getting that cool 10k so that I can change my interest rate??

This is turning into a vent post lmao sorry but stop telling mid to low income people who can barely afford their new home that they should "just refinance" when rates go down!!! They most likely won't be able to afford to do that so they'll just be stuck paying an insane mortgage rate until they can scrape enough money together, but for context saving $150 per month it would take six years to reach 10k. And most people do not make enough to save more than that — in fact, most people would have trouble with 150.

The interest rate is insane right now (7.4%). The only reason we could buy our (old, cheap) house was because in early 2021, interest rates were around 3.15-3.3%.

We pay $2,275 per month right now, which includes property taxes and a required mortgage insurance because we couldn't afford a 20% down payment.

If we bought our house today (at the same price as 2021) with an interest rate of 7.4%, our monthly payment would be $3,299 per month and that's with a down payment of $22,000. That's an increase of over 1k per month. And that doesn't take into account the price increase — if we go by what our house is worth today, it goes up to $3,693 per month.

We can't afford much more than we currently pay, and our home is already one of the cheapest in the area, so we essentially can't move unless interest rates go down to like 5% which will likely take years.

We can't just move in and refinance later, because we will have used all of our disposable income on a down payment on the new home — hence my original point, it's silly to tell someone "oh it's fine that the payment seems high, you can always refinance" because in reality it's "it might take years for the rates to go down and we can't tell you any sort of ETA, and when they do it'll cost you around 6-10k just to refinance your loan, and if the rates don't move or you can't afford the refinancing fees, you're stuck paying a crazy high mortgage."

[writesology]

hello i've written for once... but it's not what you expected LMAO it's vent fic. absolutely not posting this on ao3 (for some reason this sounds mean to me. it's not i promise) bc i wrote this in like 30 mins and imo it's kinda ooc 😭

i thought it'd be rly bad but then it turned out like. somewhat okay so i figured i might as well post it. as proof uni hasn't managed to kill me yet /hj

anyway uh. warning vent fic ahead teehee. set one year before canon so trey and cater are in their second years and riddle is in his first

If you were to ask Cater Diamond how many times he'd been forgotten, he would simply smile and say "I don't know!"

Most people assumed it was because no matter where he went, he was surrounded by friends. Cater knew this, and yet it couldn't be further than the truth.

It wasn't a matter of how many people he'd befriended. No, it was simply because if you asked Cater this question and refused to settle for his answer, then poked and prodded some more, he would admit with an oddly solemn expression that he wouldn't know where to start counting.

He had been used to it, once; when he was little, and his sisters would laugh as they fed him sweets and paraded him around in frilly dresses, and they'd switch houses right as he'd learned where everything was.

Over time, he'd learned to push his true self down in favor of a person everyone would like. No one wanted his sad, boring real self. But everyone did want his bubbly, upbeat (fake, so, so fake) self, so that was a win!

(He used to think it was wrong, once. Now it comes as naturally as breathing.)

Then he got accepted into Night Raven College. Then he could finally stay in one place for longer than a year or two.

There, he met more people than he ever could've imagined. He met the prince of Briar Valley himself, alongside a shorter mischievous fae. He met (albeit after being starstruck for five minutes) a superstar celebrity.

A guy with flames for hair and his robot brother. A lion beastman. A hunter from the Sunset Savannah. The list went on and on, and by the end of orientation, he knew everyone's names.

But he also met Trey- a humble boy from the Queendom of Roses, and as Cater learned not two weeks into Heartslabyul life, an amazing baker.

That didn't stop them from becoming fast friends, though. Cater knew this had to be it. He could become real friends with someone, instead of simply greetings and superficial conversations.

No, this was someone he could show his real self to.

And it went beautifully. Trey didn't push him away, nor did he belittle any troubles, only offering words of advice and a helping hand whenever Cater needed it.

It took time to let his persona down (even if his real self yearned to be free), but Trey was patient. And Trey would wait as long as he needed to.

With that, a year flew by, and before he knew it, Cater was back in the mirror chamber to receive the incoming first-years.

The ceremony nearly goes to shit, what with that eel merman provoking the guy (Riddle, Cater learned was his name) into a magic fight, but in the end, they leave with Riddle sorted into Heartslabyul and the mirror chamber intact.

Cater supposes that's where it all began- with hair as red as roses and with a blazing temper to match.

It isn't even a week before Riddle sends Heartslabyul's dorm head flying, and the rest of the dorm into a frenzy. Just like that, Cater is swept away- and so is Trey.

Apparently they've known each other since they were kids, and so Cater has no qualms cancelling their hangouts the first few times.

Better to let old friends catch up, right? Even if they are friends, Cater would be foolish to think he stood a chance against Riddle.

(Oh, he didn't want to know just how right he'd been.)

They may not be rooming together anymore, but they still talk a lot despite Trey's new position as vice dorm head. Cater just wishes they could actually hang out like friends more often.

Sorry, I can't make it today. I promised to show Riddle around school.

You can go ahead without me, I have to bake the cakes for tomorrow's Unbirthday Party.

You can settle things, right Cater? I'll go and help Riddle calm down.

Cater Diamond came second whenever Riddle was around. That was just a fact he couldn't change, and no matter how badly he wanted to be important to someone, anyone… it never happened.

He was second, always would be, and he does his absolute best to ignore Riddle and Trey at the next Unbirthday party, pretending not to notice the latter's worried looks.

Once upon a time, Cater had a confidante. Once upon a time, Cater had a best friend. Now he has neither.

Perhaps it is just his destiny to be forgotten as much as he has.

[backhurtyy]

i’m gonna say it. i am sick and tired of seeing ad*m in the official sk8 art.

[demondae]

-x-

[leastfavoriteasian]

Just Chatting | Chapter 2 : It Doesn’t Mean I’m Bad

Taglist: Open! Series Masterlist Here!

You put down your phone, jokingly mad at Dream. How dare he think you were bad at Among Us? You were going to kill him today, just for that. Sure, you’ve only played the Skeld Map, but the other ones were confusing anyway.  You went over to your computer to set up for your stream. It had been a while, at least a good month or two since you had last streamed. You had wanted to focus on YouTube for a bit, but it felt good to be back. You put up your Starting Soon screen and started your stream, while opening Discord.  Taking a sip of water and a deep breathe, you unmuted to your stream as chat started rolling in.  “Hi, chat! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” You said cheerfully. “I’m guessing you’ve seen Dream’s tweet by now, but today we’re playing Among Us with him and a couple other friends!”

Abbie2738 donated $3: when did you and Dream meet?  You laughed. “Thank you, Abbie, for the three dollars. I mean, me and Dream have interacted a lot, and I’ve talked with a bunch of his friends, so we both like, knew each other existed. But we officially met last night, towards the end of Ranboo’s stream.”  Suddenly your Discord ringtone started ringing.  Incoming Call from Dream and 8 more..

You clicked answer, but immediately muted and deafened. “Anyway, guys, this week’s video is coming out tomorrow! I also don’t stream often so it would mean a lot to follow! And I’m going to turn off donation notifications, so sorry about that, but I will read them afterwards! I’m going to undeafen now!”  You adjusted your stream slightly, and undeafened.  “Ayyyy, that’s pandering, that’s definitely-” Quackity’s voice came. 

“I’m streaming!” You interrupted, hoping that they weren’t talking about anything private that the chat would hear.  “Y/N!” Tommy said. “Help, they’re talking about adult stuff.”  “W-what kind of adult stuff?” You asked, slightly concerned for your friends.  “Y/N! Are you ready?” Quackity asked you. You could hear him radiating with energy.  “Haha, yeah.” You replied. “Let’s get started.”  “Hi, Y/N,” Dream’s voice said softly.  “Hi!” You exclaimed. “Hi, everyone!”  “Who’s making the lobby?” Sapnap asked irritatedly.  “Sorry, sorry, I am,” Dream said quickly. You could hear his keyboard typing.

“I’m going to crush you all,” Tommy announced.  You rolled your eyes at him, and replied, “Sure you are, Tommy.”  “Ready to start the game?” Dream asked everyone. He laughed to himself.  “What are you laughing at?” You asked him.

“Nothing, nothing. Let’s start.”  The game started, and the words CREWMATE flashed across your stream. You let go of a breathe you didn’t know you were holding, and looked around the game. And a realization hit you.  “Dream!!” You exclaimed angrily. All you heard from his end was a wheeze.

“What?” Corpse asked.  “I’ve never played this map before,” You admitted sheepishly. “And Dream knows that.”  “Wait, what?” Tommy demanded. “You’ve never played the Airship map?”  “Well, it’s pretty new.” Sykkuno said in your defense.  You huffed as all your friends’ Among Us characters spun around you in a circle. You could still hear Dream’s laughs.

“I’m sorry, when I heard you’ve only played Skeld, I had to choose a more confusing one,” He said, not sounding very sorry. “Besides, didn’t you say you were good?”  “Wait, when did Y/N tell you this?” Karl asked Dream.

“Literally right before this game,” Dream laughed.

You glanced at your chat for a second.

DreamTeam2839: LMAOOOO DREAM- crazyqueen: poor y/n  iChadhad: I thought they were a gamer? how’ve they never played this bruh2938: is this dream trying to flirt LMAO 

“Oh please, just because I don’t know that map doesn’t mean I won’t beat you,” You said confidently to Dream. Dream laughed.  “Whatever you say, Y/N.”  Most people had already gone to do their tasks. You followed Tommy throughout the entire game since you didn’t know your way around, until Corpse was caught venting and Quackity was voted out, and the two of them were revealed to be the imposters.  “I knew it!” Karl yelled in triumph. “See, I told you it was Quackity.” Sapnap groaned.  “Ok, next round,” 

The words IMPOSTER flashed on your screen, along with Tommy’s red character. You froze, looking at your chat.  abbie8392: FINALLY IMPOSTER Jacobsloeia2: yooooooo pogg dnfforlife: Get revenge on dream!!!

This was going to be difficult, you were new to the map, and Tommy wasn’t the best at lying. But you could pull this off. You went to card swipe, where everyone else was.  “Y/N, where were you?” Sapnap said immediately after you entered with everyone else.  You might be bad at some things, but when it comes to lying? You were so smooth. “What do you mean, where was I? I’m new to this map!” You answered, pretending to be annoyed. “i don’t even know where the vents would be!”  Sapnap laughed. “Ok, fair enough.”  “Does anyone know where you enter your ID?” You asked hopelessly.  “I do,” Dream said, “Follow me.”  “Ok,” You started after his green character. “Sapnap, if I die, you know who did it.”  Dream led you through a hall, where you followed closely. “What other tasks do you have left?” He asked you.  “Basically all my tasks.” You lied. “I don’t know where everything is, you jerk.”  Dream laughed. “I thought you said you were good.”  You smiled. “i am.” You closed the doors behind Dream and you. He let out a yell.

“Y/N!!!”  “Take that back,” You said, jokingly threatening him.  “I take it back! I think you’re a very nice person, and a very good YouTuber and streamer, and you are very pretty and awesome!” Dream stuttered out.  “Pffffft.” You laughed softly. You were so glad your chat couldn’t see your face at the moment. “Dream, you’ve never even seen my face.”  “Is that an offer?” Dream joked. “Sorry, sorry, I’m about to die.”  You smiled evilly. “Just remember. I am good at the game.” You clicked the kill button, and quickly exited the scene. On your way, you passed Karl, who you killed, and then-

VICTORY

“Y/N, WHY?” Dream demanded.  “GG, Tommy!” You said excitedly.  “We’re the best!” Tommy said back.

“Y/N, i’m literally going to go to your house and throw a pillow at you.” Karl threatened.  “Ha, go ahead.” You teased Karl. “I’m just too cracked at this game.”  “Wait,” Dream started, “You and Karl are friends irl?”  “Yep!” You could hear the beam in Karl’s voice. “We live a block away from each other.”  “So you’ve seen Y/N’s face?”  “No, they wear a bag on their head. Yes, i’ve sent their face.” Karl said sarcastically.  “Maybe you will one day too,” You joked. “If you’re ever able to beat me in Among Us.”

Taglist: @criminallyhamilton​, @m1lkmandan​, @dreamsofficialwife​, @endercafe​, @dreamyteam​, @hehered, @yyangii​, @chxrrymilkshake​, @karlsjackbox​