#vent but im adding random shit to keep it out of the tag

[slutcore-starships]

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[hiilikeanimelol]

IM BACK BITCHES

Hi im oli! (He/it)

I am a bisexual, trans and intersex guy, I am 18 and in my first year of university studying policing

-also hi cute little side note, it's highly likely that I am autistic so tone tags are always appreciated because tone just makes no sense to me ♡

♡KIN LIST♡

Undertaker (BB) we have matching piercings finally!

Tomura shigaraki (BNHA) I love him

Viktor hargeeves (UA) his coming out scene made me weep

Mammon (OM!SWD) my love

Rook hunt (TWST) French man

10th,11th and 12th doctor (doctor who)

main fandoms that I will waffle on about are:

GOOD OMENS MY GIRLFRIEND GOT ME INTO GOOD OMENS AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT AND THEY SAID WE CAN GO TO A HALLOWEEN PARTY DRESSED AS CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE SHES SO SLSNSNSSNSBS

Doctor who

Twisted wonderland

Obey me

My hero academia

And

Attack on titan

Heartstopper

Umbrella academy

I am a massive music geek and am constantly listening to music, a lot of my playlists are made up of:

Random hand

KoRn

Slipknot

Green day

My chemical romance

Ricky Montgomery

Mitski

Waterparks

Metallica

Arctic monkeys

The virgin marys

CRASHFACE

A lot of the time I will waffle about my personal life too all of which will be under #ollie rambles

Any vents or rants will go under #ollies vents

Feel free to just block both these tags if you're only here for memes

I try my best to keep this blog organised but I've had it for a fucking while now, I lowkey want to start a new one thats organised but im afraid I've grown attached this blog over the time I've been active on it

I've made some amazing friends on this app and im always down for making more (heads up that I will be awkward for the first week of talking but then I'll settle down, social is difficult)

If anyone ever wants any other social media I have then feel free to send me a message or an ask and I'll give you my username in dm's, doesn't matter if we talk or not I just don't want my Snapchat and Instagram usernames out on tumblr

Little bit about me physically:

I have an industrial on my left ear and most of the time a silver skull hoops in my first lobes and skull studs in my seconds, I also have my helix pierced on my right ear which is also silver. I've got a silver septum which i have to flip up around familt because they told me i couksnt have it so i did it anyway lol. My hair is currently down to my chin (it needs cutting) and my roots are atrocious.

DNI IF YOU ARE

Racist

Homophobic / transphobic

Ableist

Sexist

Pro-life

Trump supporter

Believe MAPS are a part of the lqbtq

Are ginger /j

And also, do not come into my asks on anon and accuse me of faking ed's, self harm and suicidal thoughts. I have better things to fucking do then deal with your bullshit. Also don't just leave anonymous messages of

"She" "girl" "woman" "tranny" "faggot"

I have enough shit on my plate, go seek mental help xx

And also my dm's are open to anyone at all times, whether you just need a friend or if u want someone to talk to. I will never turn someone down if you want to vent or anything, ill listen to anyone about anything, if you want advice then I shall try my best and if you just want me to listen to get stuff off your chest then thats also fine.

If I think of anything else I'll add to this, ill make notes down here of when I update anything

~ the one and only oliver xx

Og post : 14/11/2021

First of many edits: I changed the physical stuff a bit 27/11/2021

Second edit: 04/01/2022

Third edit: age change 28/02/2022

Fourth edit: rewording and piercing changes 29/03/2022

Fifth edit: removed lost ear cuff in the physical description 16/04/2022

Sixth edit: added heartstopper into what I waffle on about 28/04/2022

Seventh edit: dyed my hair purple again!! 02/05/2022

Eighth edit: got second lobes pierced 17/05/22

Ninth edit: got helix pierced, hair colour faded baddddd, changed jewelery and added umbrella academy to intrests also added a current kin list 27/06/2022

Tenth edit: dyed my hair purple and got a silver septum ring and a silver lip ring 20/07/2022

eleventh edit: hair faded and im no longer a first year at college lol 23/08/2022

twelfth edit: got a job and dyed my hair red 08/09/2022

thirteenth edit: I'm now legally an adult 28/02/2023

fourteenth edit: updated my kin list from just the 10th doctor to the 11th and 12th too 15/03/2023

fifteenth edit: tone tag mention and changed my jewelry 04/04/2023

sixteenth edit: mm hair dye 16/04/2023

17th edit: I'm back! Still severely depressed but I'm here. been working mad hours and spent the last 7 days high with no breaks 08/08/2023

18th edit : got my septum pierced, broke up with my SHITTY ex and got with someone who treats me the way I'm supposed to be treated AND I've started uni 11/09/23

19th edit : GOOD OMENS EEK!! 17/10/2023

20th edit : got a mullet kinda thing and dyed it dark blue 12/12/2023

[everythingislegalinsantafe]

Ups & Downs (Part 2)

a/n: i was gonna finish this tomorrow but i said fuck it and wrote it all tonight! there will be a next part so u dont have to worry ;) also if u wanna be tagged just tell me

tags: @bethbat @professionalfangirl3000 @imreallyfredweasley @onelastfic @coramoon025 @daddysprettypagan​ @im-fandom-trash @hello-fanfiction-goodbye-grades @desperatepenguin722​ @justcallmecinammon

word count: 3,502 words (jfc)

PART ONE! PART TWO PART THREE

Your life has been great ever since you got fired. Which was an odd sentence to say but still very true.

After you got fired that day, you immediately vented your feelings out by writing them all down. This is what you went to college for after all, you were a major literature and writing. And writing always made you feel better.

After a couple hours later and a lot of typing, you got an email. You saved your document and leaned back to stretch. As you went to open the email, you recognized the address as Mr. Hamilton’s.

Dear (Y/N),

I know this may seem unprofessional but with the current circumstances of your job I do believe this is appropriate and necessary. I am truly sorry about what happened in the office and Miss Maria Reynolds told me the reasons why Laf and Jefferson had let you go, which is quite preposterous.

You raised your eyebrows. You didn’t know Mr. Hamilton and Maria were close.

I am very good friends with Lafayette and it seems very unlike him to fire someone without any good reason. And although Jefferson and I do not get along, even he isn’t that big of an asshole to do something like this, excuse my language.

You giggled at this.

The reason why I emailed you was because you are truly an amazing person, not just as a secretary, and I am checking to see if you are alright. I enjoyed the talks we had in my office and I will deeply miss them. I hope to receive a reply soon!

Sincerely,

Alexander Hamilton

You smiled sadly as this. Sometimes you would get in trouble because you and Mr. Hamilton would stay in his office and just talk about the most random things. Although most of the time, it was just one of you ranting about something to the other, but you are still going to miss that and him.

You were about to simply type back a “Thank you, I am fine” but instead you opened up your document you were working on and copied and pasted it to send it to him. You added a little note at the bottom thanking him for his concern and saying that you also will miss him.

With that you shut your laptop, the events of the day finally catching up to you leaving you drained of energy. You looked at the clock to see it read 12:48 AM and you laughed.

Only Mr. Hamilton would send an email at this hour, you thought sleepily as you yawned.

With that you dragged yourself to bed and fell into a dreamless sleep.

~

You didn’t know that sending Mr. Hamilton (you now call him Alex) your paper about how you felt about That Day would change your life. After reading it, Alex sent it to his sister-in-law who was the CEO at a big newspaper company. She absolutely loved and asked you to become a writer at her company.

Seven months later you climbed to the top and became a head writer in The Schuyler Times. You couldn’t be more proud of yourself and you wouldn’t trade your job for the world.

You became very good friends with Angelica Schuyler, the woman who hired you, and you became a well known writer across the east coast.

You never missed your old job, but you would miss a couple of the friends you made while working their. Every once in a while you would meet up with Maria and Alex to see how they were doing, but they were the only ones you kept in touch from your old work.

One day, you were writing an article about a local robbery that happened last night when you got a text from Alex.

mr. nonstop: (2:03 PM)

omg u would not believe what i found out

mr. nonstop: (2:03 PM)

(Y/N) answer it’s so important there’s so much drama

mr. nonstop: (2:03 PM)

it’s such juicy gossip

mr. nonstop: (2:03 PM)

PLS answer i must tell you

you: (2:04 PM)

what alex im working i get off at 3

mr. nonstop: (2:04 PM)

OH PERFECT can you meet me at the coffee shop by my building at 330? i believe this will be better if i told you in person :D

Your eyebrows raised at this. It didn’t sound bad, but you knew it had something to do with you, and you can’t resist talking about drama. You texted back “sure” and went back to work.

Time flew by and you hauled a cab to meet Alex at the normal coffee shop you both went to talk shit about people.

You checked your watch and saw it was 5 til 3:30, but you already spotted Alex gulping down his coffee at your normal table while shaking his leg vigorously as his eyes roamed around the café.

The gossip must be very good today, you thought.

His eyes widened when he saw you and grinned mischievously as he waved you over.

“Ok, here’s your frappuccino!” He handed you your drink as you sat down. “Now let’s get to the good stuff.”

You took a sip of your drink and waited for him to start.

“So obviously a couple months ago you got ‘let go’,” He said as he put sarcastic quotations around “let go”.

You rolled your eyes and nodded.

“So since you got fired, Lafayette and Jefferson needed a new secretary, right?” He said with a smirk.

You put down your drink at this, you totally didn’t think about how your old bosses would need a new vict-assistant to hire.

“They hired this one guy but fired him the next week, then they hired this girl who was there for a month then quit, after they they hired a girl who they, no joke, fired the next day,” Alex went on.

Your eyes widened as Alex kept talking about how many secretaries Mr. Lafayette and Mr. Jefferson have gone through.

“…So in total for the past seven months they have gone through twelve secretaries, (Y/N). Twelve!” Alex laughed as he slammed his coffee down. “I feel so bad for the one working right now, I swear they cry whenever Laf barely talks to them sternly.”

You chuckled with Alex but you still couldn’t believe it. 

Twelve assistants? Nobody is that picky about assistants.

“But that’s not the juicy part!” Alex suddenly stopped laughing.

“It’s not? Because that sounds pret-ty good to me.” You said as you stirred your whipped cream with your straw.

Alex scooted closer to you, “I found the real reason why you got fired.”

You snapped your eyes up to his, “The what?”

Alex chuckled sinisterly and leaned back against his chair, “They didn’t fire you because you were distracted,”

He leaned closer and whispered into your ear, “They fired you because you were distracting.”

You moved your head away from his and looked at him to see if he was really saying what he you think he was saying.

Alex nodded his head and took a sip of coffee, “Oh yes, (Y/N), they were distracted by you.”

You jaw dropped as he confirmed what you thought he was saying.

“There’s no way!” You gasped. “Who told you this?”

Alex then told you how he eavesdropped-

“Overheard!” Alex would object.

How he eavesdropped on a conversation between Jefferson and Lafayette.

“Apparently they couldn’t handle wanting to jump your bones every time they called you into their office, so they had to fire you. Lafayette kept saying you were ”*une belle fleur” and Jefferson said you were “a sight for sore eyes.”

You laughed hard as he did (very bad) impressions of the two of them and he started cackling with you. Afterwards, you wiped the tears from your eyes, but then you remembered what Alex said.

“So, is that all you came to tell me?” You asked Alex.

He shook his head, “I think you should stop by the office and say hi to a couple friends. I’m sure a couple people missed you, some more than others.” He winked and with that he was off, waving goodbye and yelling he hopes to see you soon. That night he texted you to come “stop by” the office next Tuesday.

You left him on read.

~

The next week came soon enough and you texted Angelica that you’re taking the day off.

you: (7:17 AM)

hey angie im not gonna be at work today i have some…stuff to take care of

angie: (7: 21 AM)

make sure you make them regret firing you ;)

You froze and re-read the text again.

Of course Alex would tell her, you thought. He can’t keep his big mouth shut.

You dressed nice today, not because you wanted to impress people. Oh no, you’re a well-known writer! You can dress whenever you want because you can!

You were walking into your former building when you heard someone behind you call your name.

“Hey (Y/N), dressed to impress a certain pair a people, huh?” Alex asked teasingly as he fell into step with you.

You blushed and grumbled, “Shut it, Hamilton. I can dress nice if I want to dress nice.”

Alex held his hands up in defense and went to press the both button 10 and 11 of the elevators.

Nice to see they’re still working, you thought sarcastically.

As the elevator neared the 11th floor, you quickly became nervous. You started fidgeting with your hands and straightening your shirt more times than you could count.

You felt Alex put a hand on your shoulder, “Hey, you don’t have to do this you don’t want to. I’m sorry if you felt pressured to do this.”

You shook your head a took a deep breath, “No it’s fine, Alex. I think it’s best if I do this. Plus, I really wanna see that new secretary they have.”

Both of you laughed and the elevator dinged that you finally arrived at the Alex’s floor.

Alex walked out while you held the door to keep it from closing. You looked around to see that nothing had changed which made you smile.

You looked at Alex, “Is Jefferson or Lafayette in today?”

“That’s why I wanted you to come in specifically today,” He smiled. “Both of them are here.”

Your eyes widened while Alex smirked.

He’s really enjoying this, isn’t he?

“Alright I’ve gotta go, (Y/N). I have a meeting with Washington.” He said with a wave.

You waved goodbye to Alex and told him you would meet up with him soon.

It only took a few seconds to get to the next floor. The elevator dinged again and you took a deep breath and stepped out. You walked around, trying to find someone you recognized when you saw Maria.

“Maria!”

Her head snapped up from the paperwork she was working up and a bright grin appeared on her face.

You both met each other halfway with a big hug.

“Oh my gosh, (Y/N)! Look at you dressed all fancy and competing in the big leagues!” She said as she stepped back from you hug. “God I missed you!”

You both caught up with each other and she led you around the room until you reached your old cubicle. You saw a woman typing frantically on the computer while talking on the phone to someone and being surrounded by enormous piles of paper. You grimaced as you were reminded of your days being stuck in the same position as her.

“Yeah that’s their new secretary,” Maria whispered into your ear. “Have you heard she’s their-”

“Twelfth one? Yeah I’ve heard.” You interrupted.

You both walked away and passed by both Mr. Jefferson’s and Mr. Lafayette’s office and saw both were empty. Maria noticed your confused expression and quickly explained they were having a meeting with Washington downstairs. The same meeting Alex is in. The same floor Alex is on.

“Y'know Maria? I’m gonna go say hi to Al- Mr. Hamilton and I’ll be on my way. It was so nice seeing you again.” You smiled as you gave her another hug.

You decided to take the stairs down to see Alex since he was only a floor away. On your way down the stairs you texted him asking if he was done with the meeting since you didn’t want to wait for him.

you: (9:01 AM)

are u done with ur meeting?

mr. nonstop: (9:01 AM)

yeah just finished! im in my office come stop by

mr. nonstop: (9:02 AM)

u might hear me talking to people in my office but just come on in it’s fine ;)

You didn’t know why he added the winky face, but you shrugged it off. As you neared his office, you couldn’t help but feel something was off, but you kept moving forward. You opened the door to see Alex and Jefferson yelling at each other while Lafayette tried to calm them down. Alex was the only one to notice you walk in as the other two men’s back were facing the door.

“(Y/N)!” Alex exclaimed as he jumped from behind his desk to give you a hug. “I didn’t know you were stopping by today! What a nice surprise!”

As he hugged you he whispered to play along and you huffed and rolled your eyes.

You pulled out of the hug, “Hey Alex! I was just passing by and I couldn’t miss a chance to see you.”

Alex gave you a wink to signal that you’re doing great.

“Oh Lafayette! Jefferson!” He turned to the two men who were gaping at the two of you. “You remember (Y/N), right?”

Your two former bosses gulped and nodded, still unable to form any words.

“How have you guys been?” You asked sweetly with a big smile.

The two just stared until Jefferson nudged Lafayette.

“U-um…we’ve been f-fine, (Y/N). How about you? Do you have a new job?”

You were about to answer when Alex beat you to it.

“Well actually they work for my sister-in-law! They are one of the head writers at The Schuyler Times and one of the biggest names on the east coast!” He said proudly.

Both men looked even more shocked than before.

“W-wow (Y/N), that’s great!” Jefferson finally spoke.

You smiled, “Well I better be on my way! I’m a very busy person and I just wanted to stop by and say hi to Alex!”

Alex went up and hugged you again, but this time he kissed your cheek.

“Make sure to text me when you get home!” He said as you walked out.

You nodded and walked out of his office, finally relaxing your shoulders. You were about to get in the elevator when a pair of hands grabbed you and shoved you into an empty room. You squealed and saw that Mr. Jefferson had been the one to grab you.

“How long have you and Hamilton been dating?” Jefferson asked you.

Your eyes widened at his bluntness. You peeked over his shoulder and saw Mr. Lafayette staring at you with crossed arms.

“I-well we aren’t…uh…dating.” You stammered.

Mr. Jefferson took a step back from you.

“Then what was with all the hugging?” He asked.

“And him kissing your cheek and to text him when you got home?” You heard Mr. Lafayette spit out as he walked over to the both of you.

You blushed, “I have no idea,” You started backing into a corner. “Alex and I are friends, but he usually is never affectionate like that…”

Mr. Jefferson put his hands on either side of your head against the wall, trapping you.

“Oh so you call him Alex now?” He growled his name.

You furrowed your eyebrows and look straight into his eyes, “Whoever I’m friends with and I date is none of your concern! Of either one of your concerns!” You yell as you look over to Mr. Lafayette and push Mr. Jefferson away. “From what I remember you were the ones that fired me! So I shouldn’t even have to be speaking with the two of you!”

You started walking towards the door but you felt a gentle hand grabs yours.

“Oui, we’re sorry (Y/N). We just…” You heard Lafayette say.

You turned around and motioned for him to continued.

He looked over at Mr. Jefferson for some kind of reassurance and looked back at you, “We let you go because we…like you too much, ma chérie.”

You gasped. You know that Alex told you the same thing, but actually hearing it from them makes it completely different.

“We couldn’t take the way how flawless you looked everyday. With your gorgeous eyes and hair. We couldn’t take how intelligent you are and-”

Lafayette was interrupted when you gasped again, but this time it was because you felt Mr. Jefferson wrap his arms from behind you.

“We couldn’t take the way your hips would move when you walk or how your eyes sparkled. We especially couldn’t take it whenever the word ‘Sir’ came out of your pretty little mouth.”

You whimpered at this, you didn’t know how much more you could take.

“Ma chérie,” Lafayette asked. “Would you be willing for us to make it up to you? You can come over to our house tonight and have dinner.”

“W-well uh Mr. Lafa-” You started to stammer.

“Mon amour, just call me Laf.”

You blushed at the new nickname. You were used to “ma chérie”, but this was new.

You felt Mr. Jefferson kiss down your neck, “And you can call me Thomas, darling.”

You shuddered at his administrations and nodded.

“How 'bout this, darling? You doll yourself up and come over to our place around 8. Then we can treat you to dinner,” Mr. Je-Thomas said. “And then at the end of the night we can make everything up to you.” He whispered.

This time you shuddered and whimpered, already ready for what may come.

Laf pulled you out of Thomas’s grasp to pull you into his.

“Here’s our address, ma chréie,” Laf gave you both his and Thomas’s number along with the address. “We’ll be waiting, mon amour.”

The three of you then walked out of the room, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. But Alex caught your eye when the elevator doors were closing and winked at you.

This was quite a turn of events for you.

~

When you got home, it took a while for you to comprehend that you’re going on a date. With two men. Who were your former bosses.

When 5 o'clock rolled around, you changed into your favorite “night out” outfit, which made you look sexy but still very classy.

You had to control your breathing as your GPS told you that you were nearing their house.

It’s ok (Y/N), you told yourself. You look hot and you’ll do fine. They’ve seen you at your worst, you’ll be fine.

As you pulled up to park, your mouth dropped. Their house was huge!

It’s not even a house! More like a mansion! You said to yourself.

You shakily made your way up the stair and rung the doorbell. You nervously fiddled with your outfit until the door opened and your jaw dropped.

You know how usually when you see men in suits it usually makes them hotter? It wasn’t true for you since you see men in suits all the time. But behind the door you saw Thomas and Laf in completely normal and comfortable clothing which somehow made then ten times hotter.

“(Y/N)! You look amazing as always, darling.” Thomas said as he and Lafayette led you in.

You looked around at the grand room and couldn’t help but gawk at it.  You were stopped when you smelt something amazing coming from what you assumed to be the kitchen!

“I made pasta for us, ma chérie.” Lafayette told you. “It’s simple but I think you will like it.”

You grinned and nodded at him, unable to contain your excitement for the night.

After dinner all three of you decided to watch a movie. The three of you might have had a bit too much wine since you all ended up cuddling on the couch. You were enjoying the movie until you felt a hand wrap around your thigh. You looked and saw that Thomas was watching the movie as if he had done nothing different, so you shrugged and focused your attention back on the screen. A couple minutes later, however, another hand wrapped your other thigh.

You blushed and knew this was no mistake, but you weren’t going to say no to them. This is was you signed up for.

During the movie, both hands started creeping up your thighs until they reached just under your core.

You were already very needy from before, but this was driving you insane. You needed one of them to do something.

“Ma chérie, shall we continue this in the bedroom.” Laf whispered in your ear.

–

* une belle fleur = a beautiful flower

[slutcore-starships]

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[slutcore-starships]

im. im tired and irate and numb and. just. i dont want anything special. i dont want anything anybody else doesnt have. i just want a life. i just want to go in hikes again. i just want to go take photos with firenss i want to poke around a city i want to play video games with them i want a life. i want something to look forward to. i want to stop feeling thwse wandering pains i want to stop watching everyone else live as i stay behind i want to make things and be someone i want to live. i want to live. i want to live. i want to live.

why. is that. too fucking much. to ask.

why. dont i even. get to hope.

without immediately. having something taken away. without immediately getting put in my place.

i want to hope. i want to want. i want to be. i want to live.

[slutcore-starships]

evening cancelled i just stumbled across one of the songs i associated with my codependent t4t situationship from a couple years ago

[slutcore-starships]

deadnamed! by the holiday greetings from the side of the family i dont speak to

[slutcore-starships]

how to . not scream for hours on end because everything is just . too much

[slutcore-starships]

how to tell people that youre sorry if youre being too clingy but youre desperate for other people to do things with you because the number of things you can do on your own is dwindling for various reasons and what /is/ left is growing less and less enjoyable the more you have to do it because nothing else is left . without sounding like youre guilt tripping them and/or causing resentment

[slutcore-starships]

i . hate how easily overwhelmed and drained i am. i hate that im stuck with the skills of a nineteen year old. everything takes so much work to power through and. its only getting harder.

[slutcore-starships]

i really try not to be a doomer. i really do.

i just cant look at our slice of the world rn and see how it gets better; especially when the people who supposedly want to make it better see me as just as disposable as the other guys do. pandemics not slowing down. im not getting any better. nobodys pulling us out of whats obviously coming. i hate that im not strong enough to do anything about it. i hate everyone else for letting it happen. i dont know where we go from here. i dont know where i go from here.

[slutcore-starships]

everybody loves me for the way i stare at the ceiling going over my past mistakes and the myriad divergence points that could have saved me

[slutcore-starships]

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[slutcore-starships]

knowing people online isnt enough i need to wake up with them and make lunch for them and cuddle them while they do schoolwork and fall asleep enveloped by them . i dont know if theres a greater pain than knowing where one person ends and another person starts

[slutcore-starships]

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[slutcore-starships]

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