#vega step on me

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Day one of counting until Vega returns

(Block #redacted vega countdown if you don't want to be spammed with this :P)

[kissporsche]

*looks inside Vegas’s brain*: hmm yep, that’s about the mess I would expect

*looks inside Pete’s brain*: oh jesus christ. what the fuck is going on in there. absolutely not, put it back

[boysbeloving]

so you know when you feel like putting your entire weight on someone coz

a. they're so cute and squishable and insufferable and you need to hold them down?

or

b. you want to lie down on someone bigger than you and want to feel that vastness?

yeah me too....soooooooo 👀👀👀

i'd love to know if you're choosing reason a or b for your vote! heheeheehe

LET'S SLEEP ON SOME MEN, Y'ALL

(and a big thank you to @imminentinertia for helping me out with some options!)

[dykedvonte]

If Ulysses has a million haters, then I'm one of them. If Ulysses has one hater, then I'm THAT ONE. If Ulysses has no haters, that means I'm dead. If the world is with Ulysses than I’m against the world.

[laesas]

Do you guys ever think about Ken's devastated expression when he sees Kinn alone in the parking lot? When Big, who would have followed Kinn to the ends of the earth, isn't with him?

[bossmamacita]

Got distracted and started brain vomitting Luz info on a page as I do it will eventually be fully filled out lol

[elistilldoodles]

[lu-sn]

vegaspete, vegas & porsche, negotiation tactics, shifting dynamics

a bonus chapter for yall, in which:

somebody is cleaning up the bloodbath, or something. pete wouldn't know

pete makes a very important phone call

vegas and porsche snipe at each other, until they don't

food is consumed, as promised (thanks porsche)

[potatoesandsunshine]

i've come around on modern AUs in a big way but mine just never make sense akgjakg like yeah sure it's set in 2014 but it runs on movie logic. if you stop and think for ten seconds you realize the premise doesn't make sense at all

[messenger-of-stupidity]

DUN DUN!

You have been bitten by the mutual virus. To cure yourself, you must provide one reason why you follow each of your mutuals before sending this to others (whether mutuals or not) while in anon.

Good luck!

Oh my god. UHM OKAY. I'm just gonna go through my mutuals from order I followed them. (I'm not good at tttthhhhiiiisssss)

@artbykays - I'm not sure if they realize that we're mutuals or not. Which is fine, it doesn't really matter. But their art is chef kiss amazing. Like seriously, its thanks to them my simping increases.

@darlin-collins - They're funny, have you not seen the stuff they put out into the internet?

@dani-ya-dig - They're just very cool and funny. i tend to follow blogs that I find funny since laughter is the best medicine. They certainly have that.

@romeo-the-homeo - I like lurking through their content because it's very silly of them. (I almost threw my phone when I saw that they followed me back.)

@annahhopee - HER FICS DUDE! I don't know much more to say than that.

@clover-46 - David Shaw. (Real talk, I became moots with Mrs Shaw because we both wanted Redacted Mutuals to talk to. Also their art is scrumptious. I want more of it. I will lurk in her walls until she posts more of it. I will live like Bruno there, building my own civilization of rats while she believes that she is safe from me. She isn't. Not from me, and not from my husband. David Shaw isn't safe either. Vega and I are coming for you and David, Clover.) Can you tell she's one of my mutuals I'm closer to because I'm more comfortable being unhinged?

@frenchiefitzhere - I actually threw my phone when I saw she followed me. I follow her for the memes, the music, the fics. All of it. Also she said that she was sure that Cam would like my IKEA octopus that I named after him and I almost cried.

@/hufflepufff171 - Tumblr Live friendo :)

@itsyourstarboy - Another person that I had a mini freakout when I saw he followed me back. But he's funny as fuck. Also a fellow Guy enthusiast, which I'm happy about. Sometimes I throw anon asks at him and wonder if he knows. He probably does now, but he won't know who is an anon and who is me. MWAHAHAHAHAHA (also he said he liked my fics and I almost cried.)

@epsi-l0n - He's intimidating. I'm going to preface it by saying that. But he's also very funny and isn't afraid to say something that might get people riled up. Actually I'm 90% sure he thrives on chaos and can't live without it. Also he keeps people in the basement and I've been avoiding detection so I don't accidentally wind up in there.

@soup-scope - Their art is very eatable. My favorite breakfast. Nom nom. Whether it's "serious" art or memeable art. Favorite snack. Also they reblog really good stuff that I'm afraid I'd somehow miss otherwise. So they're going my dash a service. (I also stole their shoelaces when they weren't looking but don't tell them. >:D)

@itsrubesshawty - 1. Their blog aesthetic? I love it. I'm a sucker for the darker aesthetics (ironic since I decides to go with bright colors for mine, but I'm trying to make people's eyes bleed so they accidentally click the follow button because they can't see. Which I'm pretty sure is what happened to Rubes.) Also their headcanons are hilarious. I got hooked because of the phone one they graciously tagged me in.

@genderfluid-bastard - He finds reblog gold. LIke seriously, some real gold here. Not fools gold. Real gold.

I love my mutuals, even if I don't talk to them all the time because I'm scared of bothering them. :)

[rickgrimesdoingrickthings]

Send in ♔ for my muse’s reaction to yours pushing mine up against the wall (( hehehehe ))

Oh he had been waiting for that. He just let her push him. There was even a sense of happiness since she finally had decided to break that tension that had started to build up since the day he had joined her community. He was tired due to the day of work, but he didn't mind. It was always by that time of the day, by sunset, that Vega would show up by his house- each time she had a different "excuse" to visit. And he appreciated every single time, no matter the subject. By talking to Fox since days before, he knew Vega had these affection outbursts, sometimes even without proper context- but he didn't shake at her tackle. He enjoyed it- he secretly liked her roughness and strength- she was a warrior above all else. Rick stared her, almost challenging, excited to feel her pressure, her body against his, wondering what else she was going to do. He already could feel anticipation building up, his heart rate firing, oh he wanted her, he wanted her so bad, since quite some time. Rick wouldn't shake in front of her, no. He was a leader too, by heart- he had his own pride to defend. The sheriff let her pressure his chest, and whatever part she wanted to, feeling her hands on him in that context, she had no idea how much touch starved he was-

@sxbaist

@vuulpecula (look Fox has a cameo hehe)

[whatanightmaregrinch]

boone has now taken to standing in the way for dialogue, and ive become accustomed to having the guy just being everywhere. i didn’t collect boone, boone collected me.

[galariangengar]

💭

[xneens]

not his girlfriend

you’re not his girlfriend, but …

You're not his girlfriend, but you're the first person to listen to his ramblings. The first time he realizes, he notices he's been talking for too long without taking a breath, and you're still paying attention to what he's saying. Microbiology. You know nothing about the subject, asking him to clarify stuff while he talks. He's surprised because everyone always stops him.

You're not his girlfriend, but he knows your coffee orders. They're all disgustingly sweet, as the teams point out, but he knows what to get depending on the day. No matter how urgent the briefing is, he goes out of his way to stop at your favorite coffee shop. Every day, you're greeted with a fresh cup of coffee and a smile.

You're not his girlfriend, but he comforts you after emotionally hard cases. You often find yourself in his arms after wrapping up the cases, resting your head against his chest, allowing him to stroke your hair. He'll spend the flight next to you, his pinky resting on your arm as a way to ground you without the rest of the team exchanging glances.

You're not his girlfriend, but you don't leave his side when he gets shot on the field. You hold his hand as the paramedics carry him in the ambulance, and you only let go when they take him into surgery. He wakes with you by his side, his fingers immediately intertwining with yours before he's even fully awake. You smile and tell him he's an idiot for taking that bullet for you. He replies back with a smile and a, "Better for me to be injured than you."

You're not his girlfriend, but he makes sure you're paired up on cases. He goes to shooting practices to prove to Hotch he can be on the field with you, to prove that he can protect you. He does the stuff you don't want to, mostly readings you don't want to spend hours on or bagging up a used condom from the toilet.

You're not his girlfriend, but you go to every nerdy event with him. Whether it's a Spock convention or some nature documentary showing, you're there by his side. No longer does he find the seats next to him empty. Instead, when he looks over, he sees you and smiles, because now he's not alone.

You're not his girlfriend, but his mom thinks you are. When you spend a few days in Las Vegas for a case, you visit his mom with him, meeting her for the first time. She greets you, smiling coyly at her son, asking you if you like dating her son. He spends the next few minutes trying to convince her you're just friends. And the rest of the month trying to convince himself.

You're not his girlfriend, but he kills the man holding you hostage. He's the first to notice you gone, and he's the first to burst through the door, gun out. He doesn't bother talking to the unsub, doesn't bother descaling the situation, doesn't bother to wait for the rest of the team to enter before delivering a bullet through the man's head. He doesn't bother stepping over the body before he unties you and takes you in his arms.

You're not his girlfriend, but he covers you with a blanket when you fall asleep. He turns the TV off, placing a pillow under your head softly, making sure you don't wake up with a sore neck. He strokes your cheek with the back of his hand, longing in his eyes as he watches you breathe.

You're not his girlfriend, but he wishes you were.

[thelostconsultant]

Not a gold digger

pairing: Max Verstappen x reader

summary: Fans think you only want Max's money. But as it turns out, you were wealthy before he came into your life--you just don't make it obvious.

warnings: No smut, but there's a part that makes me say MDNI.

note: So... I'm kinda back? Idk, I'll see if I'll stick around.

The toxicity of the fandom was becoming quite entertaining, really. It was the third time since you and Max had made your relationship public half a year ago that someone started an anti gold digger campaign to protect your boyfriend. They truly believed they were doing this for a greater good, and they all begged Max for his attention.

It always began after they sniffed out he had given you something expensive as a gift or took you shopping to a luxury boutique. While there were some people who tried to protect you by pointing out that maybe he enjoyed showering you with gifts, the rest didn't care about that. 

You lived in a small apartment back home, you were driving a five years old Renault SUV, and no one knew what you did for a living. This was enough to enrage them and make them believe all you wanted was Max's money at the end of the day. Just think about the way she's looking at him, one of them wrote about two months ago, she's so clearly not in love with him. Poor Max, someone please save him. 

Ridiculous.

“Is everything okay?” he asked when he got home and kissed the top of your head. 

You were sitting in his sim rig, using the time while it was free to practice, because you wanted to play with him when you weren't here together, and he was more than happy to show you the basics. “Someone started another campaign to cancel me,” you replied casually as you got out with his help. 

Even when you were standing in front of him, he didn't let go of your hand, instead he raised it to his lips to place a soft kiss on its back. “Gold digging?” You nodded with a sad look on your face, but less than five seconds later you were both laughing. “Look, I know you're having way too much fun with this, but–”

Without waiting for him to finish, you raised your hand to make him stop. “I'm not stepping out of the shadows, Max. I've been hiding for years, even fucking Forbes doesn't know my real name or face,” you told him.

Back in the old days, when Bitcoin appeared, your geeky uncle had gotten into mining and trading it. He knew the potential, so he put most of his savings into buying them, then he held onto them, and by the time he got sick years later, he knew they were valuable and would be worth a lot more in the upcoming years. In his will, he left his savings and his wallet to you, giving you the chance to use them as you wished since you had learned everything about crypto from him.

So now you had Bitcoin as well as old fashioned investments, and you had used your money to help out an up-and-coming tech company for a forty percent share, and it was later sold to a tech giant for a lot of money. But despite your wealth, you chose to stay under the radar, because you loved your small apartment, and you weren't about to trade it for some fancy penthouse. 

You had met Max the year before in Las Vegas. F1 was a sport you watched with your uncle while he was still alive, and you were hell-bent on getting a VIP pass for the weekend. If you asked your boyfriend, he would say it was love at first sight, but in reality he was just annoyed by you. For a solid ten seconds, he would correct you every time you talked about it.

You agreed that you would hide in Max's apartment until this latest campaign died down, which gave you some time to spend together in peace. Every now and then you checked the tags to see how things were going, and after the silence of the past few days, today your name was trending again. Ready to have a good laugh, you opened the tag, but the most popular post gave you a minor stroke.

“Oh, fuck me,” you yelled as you launched your phone into the couch.

Max pulled the headset down to his neck as he looked over at you. “Is everything okay?” You raised your finger to your lips as if you wanted him to stay quiet, but luckily he got the message. “I'm muted. So?”

You grabbed your phone and went over to him. “They know. One of those idiots from the company I helped back in the day posted a tweet to protect me, saying that if it wasn't for me being an angel investor, they wouldn't be millionaires now,” you summarized as you gave him the device.

He scrolled through a series of tweets, and found a post from a journalist of Forbes in which he promised a proper investigative piece based on this info. He handed you the phone, then wrapped an arm around your waist. “It's okay, schatje. I know that's not what you wanted, but maybe they'll stop with the recurring hate campaign now,” he tried. “And if you’re worried about the article… Don’t be. There is nothing compromising about you. Yes, you inherited the money, but you have proven you know what to do with it.”

“Maybe you’re right,” you admitted with a sigh. 

“I’m usually right. C’mere,” he said as he reached out to pull you closer, but you glanced over at the camera. Rolling his eyes, he quickly turned it off, then gave you an expectant look. “Will you hug me now? And I want a kiss too.”

With a laugh, you leaned down to wrap your arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss. But he wanted more, his hand slowly sneaked under your shorts, his fingers running over your clothed cunt before he decided to pull your panties aside and dip a finger between your folds. You moaned into the kiss, but he pulled away a second later to lick his finger clean. 

Shaking your head with a chuckle, you patted his shoulder and walked back to the couch. You could feel Max’s eyes on you the whole time, and when you looked at him again, he flashed a devilish smile at you. “I should quit the stream. Now that I had a taste, I want more,” he told you. 

“I’m not going anywhere, just try to be patient.”

He looked back at the screen, then put the headset back on his head and unmuted his mic. “Sorry, I have to go. See you next time,” he told the others, then logged out. You couldn’t remember the last time he left the sim rig this fast, and only a few seconds later he was kneeling in front of you, eagerly reaching up to pull your shorts off you.

liked by user1, user2 and 947,896 others

f1gossips: Breaking news! Turns out Max Verstappen's girlfriend isn't a gold digger after all as she has her own fortune according to the investigative article published by Forbes. Will the fans apologize?

view all comments

user2: And here I was, thinking she's just a greedy airhead...

user3: Easy to be wealthy with your uncle's money.

↳ user4: Have you read the whole thing? She invested the money and helped out several startups--that later became pretty successful--as an angel investor. Yes, maybe she inherited a lot of money, but she knows what to do with it.

↳ user5: May I remind you how many F1 drivers started their careers with their families's money?

user6: Told you she wasn't a gold digger. Suck it, haters.

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 1,577,353 others

maxverstappen1: If you don't buy your girlfriend gifts every once in a while, you're a bad boyfriend. I love to spoil her, it's not a crime. I love her, I'm proud of her, and you can send us as much hate as you want, it will only make us stronger.

tagged: yourusername

view all comments

yourusername: I'd be perfectly fine without the gifts, I already told you.

↳ maxverstappen1: I don't care.

landonorris: You're absolutely right!

↳ maxverstappen1: You're single, how would you know?

↳ landonorris: Just FYI, I've been in relationships before.

danielricciardo: You're so disgustingly smitten with her. (I love you both.)

[imagining-in-the-margins]

CM Friends with Benefits

Hey everyone! Thank you so much to everyone who joined us. I am so happy to share everyone’s hard work. If you have a oneshot or masterlist you’d like me to add, please send me a message - new additions are always welcome.

SFW S.R./Reader

Cuddle Buddies by @foxy-eva: (Fem) Spencer misinterprets the meaning of friends with benefits (having a friend to cuddle is, in fact, highly beneficial).

Play Dates by me: (GN) Reader learns Spencer hasn’t had many dates and offers to share several Play Dates.

Astraphobia by me: (Fem) Reader and Spencer share their embarrassing fears.

The Only Exception by me: (GN) Reader is beginning to believe in love again.

NSFW S.R./Fem!Reader (18+)

It’s Too Cliché by me: Reader and Spencer are the worst at being friends with benefits.

Damaged Goods by @foxy-eva: The belief that they were both undeserving of love led Spencer and Reader into each other's arms.

Yours by @aliteralsemicolon: Spencer never thought he’d be lucky enough to find Reader.

Heavenly by @dudeitiskarev: Reader confesses that she's a virgin, and she asks Spencer to be her first.

Wildest Dreams by @ghsface: It was a one night thing.

Crawling Back to You by @incognit0slut: Reader never planned on having a fling with her brother's friend.

A Kindness You Can't Afford by @mercy-burning: It started as 'stress relief between co-workers,' but now Reader can't help herself.

Relax, I've Got You by @reidmotif: Reader isn't great at handling stress. Luckily, Spencer knows how to make her feel better.

I'm Your Fluffer by @reiderwriter: Spencer is Reader's boyfriend without the benefits.

Second Chances & Something More by @reidsrambles: Reader is stunned when her former FWB shows up at her job nearly a decade after ghosting him.

Even more fics and pairs below!

I Won't Let You Forget by @reiderwriter: Reader wakes up with no memory of begging her long-time work crush to sleep with her.

Down Bad by @samuel-de-champagne-problems: After seeing that her ex boyfriend is engaged to his “rebound girl”, Reader finds herself missing the sex.

Safe Place by @sinfulspencer: After a hard case, Spencer takes comfort in Reader's body. 

Casual by @waywardxrhea: Reader thought that her sexcapades with Spencer had meant more to him.

Goddess, Soft by @none-of-your-bullshit: Spencer gets jealous.

Lost Time by me: Reader and Spencer spend their mandatory leave on vacation. As "friends."

NSFW Other xReaders (18+)

Passionate Reunion by @badathumanemotions: (Emily/Fem) Reader's in town on business and takes the opportunity to reconnect.

Stepping into Desire by @badathumanemotions: (Emily/Fem) Emily decides to wear heels and a tight skirt to catch the attention of a certain co-worker.

Medicine at Midnight by @pkg4mumtown: (Hotch/GN) A night out with the team leads to either the best or worst mistake Reader could have made.

Sneaky Touch by @tjwritesfanfics: (Hotch/Fem) Hotch is only a man and maybe Reader should wait until they get home to tempt him.

After Hours by @badathumanemotions: (Emily/Fem/Spencer) The trio has an arrangement.

Down by the River by @tjwritesfanfics: (Joe Joe - RV) Reader knew they couldn't stay with him forever, but at least for one night they could pretend.

Character Pairings

Time for Talk by @vaguelyclevermatters: (Rated T, Demily) Emily was hungover after a night in Vegas but the team seems fine. She must've gotten up to something (or someone) the others didn't.

Now or Never [Ao3] by @masterwords: (unrated, Hotchgan) An exploration of Hotch's agreement with Derek during his divorce.

Untitled by @siyvaruli: (Hotchgan) Derek discusses his situation with his sisters.

Just a Booty Call by @the-queen-and-the-king: (NSFW, Hotchniss) What was Emily supposed to do when she and her boss suddenly break every rule during an investigation?

Harder to Hide [Ao3] by @vampireids: (NSFW, Spencelle) After dying in Georgia, Spencer visits Elle to tell her he finally understands.

Gold in the Summertime [Ao3] by @justjasper: (NSFW, Derek/Elle/Spencer) Instead of the Fisher King, the BAU gets their two weeks vacation, and Reid goes to Jamaica with Elle and Morgan.

Until I See You Again [Ao3] by @leahseclipse: (Moreid) Spencer and Morgan had an arrangement, but it all changes when Spencer's feelings start to grow.

What's Wrong with Being Confident? by @baubeautyandthegeek: (Blake/Strauss) JJ wonders. Spencer answers.

Only Bought this Dress So You Can Take it Off by @baubeautyandthegeek: (Elle/Ilsa) The two share a night together.

Happy reading!

P.S. If I missed your fic or you have a new one to add, feel free to send me a message. I would love to add it!