#vax and orym not so much

[nanierose]

Liam O'Brien characters have one mission, and it's to love their friends so much they will offer themselves up to save their friends no matter the cost to them personally. Looking forward to seeing how this particular deal will resolve itself, and what Orym has gotten himself into.

[screechingfromthevoid]

Something that I want to explore, probably in the trips go to the moon, is the fact that ludinus destroyed Orym's life. And Orym's family's life. This is the man who took the two (not including Alma) most important people in the world to Orym. Orym has thought about his husband and fathers killer every day for the past six/seven years.

And Ludinus didn't even know their names.

[meadowsofmay]

there's an indescribable amount of pure joy i get watching liam in the crown keepers campaign — his reactions to all the familiar things, not familiar to orym but to liam himself. his happy smile at ashley when sherri was described, his content sigh when gilmore said he was married and overall just gentle look in his eyes during this whole segment, his quick smile when aabria mentioned syngorn and heart grab followed by an exaggerated fall under the table when they arrived to byroden is just precious to me. this man needs to be protected at all costs.

[astralleywright]

How do you feel about Orym's deal with Morri?

There was something kind of funny about Liam getting increasingly obvious - 'ORYM HAS DARK VINES IN HIS VEINS. YOU CAN ALL SEE THIS.' and it still going unacknowledged, but now it just feels like a damp squib. (to me at least)

anon i had no fucking idea what a damp squib was. i thought you mispelled squid. it makes perfect sense now that i've looked it up-you damn british-and i agree but i was SO confused about what squids had to do with any of this

anyways, onto the actual answer-yeah. it's a shame, because its one of the most interesting decisions Orym has made, and maybe the most interesting one that has managed to stick around and inform the character, but. it's been treated so underwhelmingly so far that its hard not to think about it as such.

and i don't blame the other hells at all, really. they were on the moon! and then FCG died and who knew if Orym's deal was relevant any longer! one of their own spontaneously learning to teleport is just an average tuesday for them! (as i've joked before, they might just think its ashari shit! [FCG voice] he's doing it! his aramante!)

as someone who's been playing a similarly reticent and repressed character for the last year and a half in a weekly COfD game, one thing i quickly learned is that if you sit back and wait for the other pcs to ask, you might be waiting a really long time. if you're waiting for the other pcs not just to ask but to push and prod over your continued avoidance, you might be waiting forever. the other players are fallible, and probably don't know your character as well as you, and have their own characters as well as a billion other things to focus on. they may be too wrapped up in their own problems or the problems of the pcs who already shared to (or might simply be playing a character that would not) ask about yours.

take the confession during swordgate: it was in the middle of a tense situation where one of the party members (Laudna) was in clear emotional distress, two of them (Imogen and Ashton) were completely focused on her, and two of them (Dorian and Braius) didn't know what Orym even meant by it or that it was a secret up to that point. that left Fearne and Chetney, and Chetney may or may not have been asleep at the time. so that leaves Fearne. she clearly clocked it and has the most reason to care, but Fearne is honestly even more emotionally repressed and avoidant than Orym, and with all due respect to Ashley, she is not who i would rely on for "initiating rp conversations" and "remembering things."

(Also Fearne tried to check on Orym earlier that day and this was his response, so like.)

TTRPGS are collaborative, yeah, but i would argue that part of that is not leaving the responsibility of your own character’s development largely to the other players. Or if you do, accepting that you might be playing a character whose vivid inner life remains entirely hidden, and also that that might not be as interesting to the other players as the things they can readily interact with. Which makes it less likely for them to follow up on it, and so on, until "sold the rest of my life to a hag to protect everyone" kind of feels like a damp squib.

[asexxxualauthor]

From the moment we met him, Orym has refused to pick up another weapon. Liam was absolutely and emphatically clear that there is no desire in Orym to discard or replace his starting load out—his sword is special to him, a reminder of his husband now long-parted and gone from the world. And Matt respected this decision, and even crafted a way for him to enhance his blade rather than replace it—and thus, Seedling was born.

This was the Orym we knew…and then last week, he walked through that glass shop, saw the short sword sitting on the wall…and asked Zhesh how much he could trade for it. This man, who had never thought or wished for any weapon other than his husband’s, walked out of that shop last week with a new sword slung over his back…and I can’t help but linger a bit on that decision.

Out of game, it makes sense. They’re on the moon. Things are pretty dicey. This weapon is extremely effective while near Imogen and he’s basically propped himself up as her personal guard. From a player’s perspective, it totally makes sense why Liam would want Orym to have this new blade…but from a character’s?

…

A few days ago, Orym sat down and reached out to someone he cared for deeply. For the first time in weeks, he reached out with the hope that he would get an answer…and yet he didn’t. And as he wondered on why that was, and felt the dread build in his gut, I can’t help but wonder…if he also asked himself why he couldn’t bring himself to say what he felt. Why he couldn’t tell Dorian he loved him, and now might never have the chance again.

Of course, he knows why. Every time he jumps into a battle, or mediates through the katas of the Zeph’aeratam, he finds himself holding a very solid, very familiar reminder of why he won’t let himself say what he feels. Why he holds himself back.

Perhaps he found himself asking why. Why he still lets that grief hold him back. They are in the middle of a war zone—he has so few chances left to be honest to himself, and even less if they survive and succeed and he finds himself bound to Nana Mori’s service. His grief has defined him for so long…but it’s also holding him back. How long will he let it continue to keep him from living?

Perhaps he was pondering that…and then he saw the sword on the wall. He saw the green glass of the blade—the same teal green of his home. It’s useful. It’s good. And it’s different. It doesn’t have to replace his husband’s blade…but perhaps it would be good to start with something new.

Perhaps he should let himself hope.

Little Moon got himself a moon sword 🌙🗡️

[utilitycaster]

one last post about this but for real I think the fact that Vax has no death wish, simply accepts that death is a consequence of the choices he made, and genuinely is dedicated to the Raven Queen is what trips up the fandom and the cast because killing the Raven Queen, arguably, makes things worse. If the Raven Queen dies? he has failed in his duty. It's not a happy ending for him. If he leaves service, breaking his oath? It's not a happy ending for him. There is no ending that is happy for both Keyleth and Vax other than, I suppose, the Raven Queen simply saying "you know what, fine" which is a deeply narratively unsatisfying statement with no real cause and which feels out of character. You can't handwave or weasel or One Weird Trick your way out of it because the Raven Queen is stalwart in her tenets and Vax is stalwart in his conviction. and people hate that. I feel Liam gets this and this is why people get mad about Orym, too; you can't cajole or logic or intimidate Orym into supporting a single thing the Vanguard do no matter how much you wish he'd bend.

I think having a firm conviction is a great character trait in and out of game, and I love paladins and similar, so I think these characters are great for it, but like, a lot of people don't because they want there to be a secret way out where they get exactly what they want, and sometimes there isn't and it makes them really mad. And again, makes sense for Vox Machina to feel this way about Vax, but there is not a universally happy ending available given the choices that were made.

[gwendolynnderolo]

critical role ships as hozier songs

vax / keyleth : francesca

percy / vex : work song

pike / scanlan : foreigner's god

fjord / jester : nobody

beau / yasha : as it was

caleb / essek : from eden

imogen / laudna : NFWMB

orym / dorian : like real people do

ashton / fearne : dinner & diatribes

specific lyrics that i feel like represent the pairings under the cut!

vax / keyleth : francesca

how could you think, darling, i'd scare so easily?

my life was a storm, since i was born, how could i fear any hurricane?

if i could hold you for a minute, darling, i'd go through it again

it was too soon, when that part of you was ripped away

i would not change it each time, heaven is not fit to house a love like you and i

percy / vex : work song

when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth, no grave can hold my body down, i'll crawl home to her

and i was burning up a fever, i didn't care much how long i lived

but i swear, i thought i dreamed her, she never asked me once about the wrong i did

if the lord don't forgive me, i'd still have my baby and my babe would have me

in the low lamplight, i was free, heaven and hell were words to me

pike / scanlan : foreigner's god

she moved with shameless wonder, the perfect creature rarely seen

her eyes look sharp and steady into the empty parts of me

wondering who i copy, mustering some tender charm

breaking if i try conveying, the broken love i make to her

fjord / jester : nobody

i'd be appalled if i saw you ever try to be a saint, i wouldn't fall for someone i thought couldn't misbehave

but i've had no love like your love from nobody

if i had the choice between hearing either noise, the excitement of a thousand, or the soothing of your voice

and on the other side, why should we deny the truth? we could have less to worry about, honey, i won't lie to you

beau / yasha : as it was

and in a few days i will be there, love, whatever here that's left of me is yours, just as it was

the lights were as bright as my baby, but your love was unmoved

tell me if, somehow, some of it remains, how long you would wait for me and how long i've been away

the shape that i'm in now, your shape in the doorway, make your good love known to me or just tell me about your day

and the nights were as dark as my baby, and half as beautiful too

caleb / essek : from eden

there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you, don't you agree?

honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago

innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, i should know

there's something broken about this, but i might be hoping about this

a rope in hand for your other man to hang from a tree

imogen / laudna : NFWMB

give your heart and soul to charity, cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey, belongs to me

ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves?

if i was born as a blackthorn tree, i'd wanna be felled by you, held by you, fuel the pyre of your enemies

ain't it the life of you, your lightning of the blaze?

orym / dorian : like real people do

i will not ask you where you came from, i will not ask and neither should you

i know that look, dear, eyes always seeking, was there in someone that dug long ago

honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do

ashton / fearne : dinner & diatribes

i knew well from our first hookup, the look of mischief in your eyes

your friends are a fate that befell me, hell is the talking type, i'd suffer hell if you'd tell me what you'd do to me tonight

honey, i laugh when it sinks in, a pillar i am, upright

now that the evening is slowing, now that the end's in sight, honey, it's easier knowing what you'd do to me tonight

oh, let there be hotel complaints and grievances raised and that kind of love

[gilmores-glorious-blog]

random assorted thoughts from the rest of the fireside chat because i love my boy liam o’brien so much:

- liam simply saying the name alucard made me so happy

- “who farted on frumpkin?” “it’ll happen.”

- liam’s curse of strahd game has exandrian characters!! allura is in it!!! he’s been running it for years!!!!

- “smooth talking cerkonos” and dani’s reply “robbie said gotta catch em all!”

- will was the one who made the first move and the one who proposed

- will and orym were only married for four years 🥲

- liam pcs in shakespeare plays!! orym would be puck…caleb as hamlet i think was said as a joke but i’m still holding it close to my heart…vax as mercutio or vex and vax as the twins in twelfth night :’)

- orym and dorian would go to a decemberists concert together <3

- i love seeing liam talk about his wife and kids on the occasions when he chooses to do so

- his joking strahd voice and the phrase “are you ready for psychological warfare, motherfucker!”

- his actual strahd voice is hot as fuck though,,,

- “[robbie’s] gonna have to woo me”

- next fireside chat is with robbie!!

[arabella-strange]

if I had a nickel for every time a Liam PC had had a vision from a Prime Deity in episode 103/4 of a campaign and received a key insight about the enemy they were fighting, and then forgot to mention it when that same insight might be really important to the narrative... I'd have two nickels

I do wish that Orym had brought up the maddening feeling of Oblivion Hunger that he got from Predathos in his Wildmother vision.

Because honestly? As opposed to the Survival-Predator Hunger that Ludinus and the Vanguard are trying to sell as what Predathos feels/is going to act upon, that seems pretty fucking significant.

Like here is a pretty good indicator that the god-eater that you are unsure of what the final results of unleashing it will be is going to be complete destruction. It's not Hungry in a Fill My Belly way, it's Hungry in a Destroy Everything way.

I feel like if Orym had shared that, it would have added some good shit to the conversation.

[burr-ell]

In regards to how unfitting Vax just getting rolled back into mortality was to the overall narrative he had in C1.... I recognize that it's not great to put too much weight into fanfiction letting it determine how I feel about canon story, but the thing about how Vax's return is framed as Keyleth and Vex's Only happy ending, is that I read a lot of satisfying, sweet, touchingly real fanfic where all of Vox Machina eventually pass on to meet Vax as he psychopomps them to the afterlife! It carried a very comforting and resonant sentiment to be able to believe "this person is gone, but in a world where an afterlife is tangibly proven and real, you WILL see him again" and this carrying its own happiness! So for this to be overwritten YEARS later is just.... a denial of that.

Vax's return also just doesn't gel with the other narratives about death in the CR universe. Mollymawk, as loved as he was, doesn't get to come back; Orym doesn't get Will and Derrig back; FCG doesn't get to come back, but the story keeps on going for the people who loved them. What does it say in the face of those losses for Vax to come back?

Deanna WAS brought back, and while it'd be cruel to argue she should have stayed dead and imply that her newfound life wasn't worth the value to the people she made bonds with after her ressurection, it clearly fucked her up to be effectively a pawn to someone else's idea of fixing their life! It doesn't inherently beget a happy ending! What does it say when Vax's clear choice and faith in his championhood is overruled?

Absolutely agreed on all points, anon, and I think it's telling that Matt, Marisha, and Liam agreed on this with full knowledge and understanding that Vax and Keyleth had been making unhealthy choices. The implication is that despite this, none of them could envision a truly happy ending for these characters that did not involve them being able to continue a romance, and there are two problems with this.

Firstly and most obviously, wildly allocentric to imply that Keyleth could not have a properly happy ending without her college boyfriend who died three decades ago. To give context, thirty years is almost as long as Marisha Ray has been alive. Thirty years ago was the Oklahoma city bombing and the O.J. Simpson trial. Thirty years ago is older than 9/11 and the Iraq War. Thirty years is a long time, and I can't see Keyleth still being just as angry as she was at the end of C1 as anything but a person refusing to stop being mired in grief and move on. She even acknowledges it herself in Dalen's Closet, that she can't move on if Vax keeps sending ravens and then she still asks him not to stop. And to be clear, that in and of itself is a fine and even interesting choice! Rewarding that because the alternative is "unfair", for a rather nebulous value of "unfair", is not. It's not a happy ending to grow past unhealthy attachment and wallowing in grief, but it is happy to completely overlook those behaviors for a romance and some hackneyed callbacks to the ending of a better story?

Secondly, we don't even need to look at Molly, Will, or Deanna, although those are very good examples. Elaina is still dead. Juniper is still dead. Frederick, Johanna, Julius, Vesper, Oliver, Whitney, and Ludwig are all still dead. Every member of Vox Machina, including Keyleth herself, is eventually going to die. There's something that feels almost pointed about Taliesin emphasizing in 3x121 that Percy is still going to die decades before Vex, and we know Pike and Scanlan will outlive Grog by centuries. What, exactly, is different about their deaths versus Vax's? If Vax hadn't taken the revenant deal, he would have just died immediately—he was disintegrated. Liam made a point, over and over, both in the campaign and on Talks, of saying that Vax did not want a way out of his deal. What, in the in-universe logic of this setting, makes Vax so special, as opposed to every other person Vox Machina knew and loved who died or will die and isn't going to come back?

When I've had time, I've been reading through Vox Machina: Stories Untold, and something stuck out to me in the post-C1 content. Keyleth has taken on a young apprentice, an Ashari druid named Audra. We don't see much of their actual relationship, but it's close enough that Keyleth brings Audra along to Whitestone while she and the others have a night out, and Audra is friends with Vesper, Juniper, and Wax. In other words, Keyleth still invested herself in the community she was leading and kept in touch with her friends. She had a rich, fulfilling life that did not have to involve Vax in any way. Exandria did not stop turning because one person died; it kept moving, and Vox Machina kept moving. That is a vastly superior and more meaningful story than the ending of Campaign 3, and I find it absurd to imply that this ending can't truly be happy if this character doesn't have her boyfriend.

[honestly-i-hate-you-all]

When you think about it, Imodna is actually pretty boring. The Fandom treats Imodna like they were at the very apex of the gay rights movement every time they so much as cooked macaroni and cheese together as if there weren't other canonically queer couples who did it better. Kima/Allura and Beau/Yasha for those who want big name sapphic relationships. Caleb/Essek for the gays. Whatever the fuck Caleb and Veth had in a messy, complex, and interesting QPR.

Like Imodna is definitely not the best ship in CR. Especially when you look at the options and to say so is just. Ya basic. You picked two characters who's relationship felt stagnant cause neither character grew. Percy/Vex had growth. So did Keyleth/Vax, Fjord/Jester, Beau/Yasha, Caleb/Essek. Hell even Dorian/Orym's relationship had change and growth of the characters and they spent 80 episodes with one PC off screen and the other pining.

Not saying I don't like Imodna. I'm just saying that their relationship is very. Boring. Both characters are kinda one note and I think people liked them because they're just bland enough that you can paste yourself on them Bella Swan style.

Eh it's 2am and this likely isn't coherent but whatevs. Send tweet.

[melorasmushrooms]

I have not been keeping up with CR3 at all (I tried and then life happened after like episode 9) but it’s very interesting to see how the fall out from this campaign has impacted earlier campaigns? Specifically Keyleth and Vax - the choice to have them reunited and get their happy ending is…interesting.

I’ve seen some people be very happy that these two get their happy ending, but to me it feels the same way that Steve going back to Peggy at the end of Endgame felt. It undercuts the growth the characters had separately in favor of something that feels fan servicey. In the aforementioned case, there were instances within the story telling that allowed the characters to move on and let go, which are cheapened by the reunion.

It also says to the audience, I fear, that the only truly happy ending is the guy gets the girl and that’s that. It doesn’t allow for the two characters to be able to stand on their own two feet as separate individuals. That doesn’t feel right, especially when you have characters like Caduceus who go off and have full lives sans romance. Keyleth is a leader and it feels like learning to live with the grief of not having that happy ending and moving on in a way that matters was super important to the character. How is she supposed to encourage others (Orym) to move on when she herself is still struggling?

Look, if Marisha and Liam really wanted to close their story on a happy note, so be it, it’s clearly still effecting them after so much time and that’s totally understandable but at the same time, it feels more impactful to let them be their own people.

[thevalleyisjolly]

Critical Role PCs (main cast) ranked by whether or not Chetney could be their biological dad

Disqualified (dad known/knew their dad):

Ashton, Beau, Caduceus, Caleb, Fearne, Grog, Imogen, Jester, Keyleth, Laudna, Percy, Taryon, Vax, Veth, Vex

Disqualified 2.0 (no dad):

FCG, Kingsley,* Molly*

*Even if you count Lucien's parents as Kingsley and Molly's biological "parents," Lucien both knew them and killed them, taking them all clear out of contention.

Honourable mentions:

Orym. The one who first made us think, is Chetney _____'s dad? Alas, we know from EXU that Orym's biological dad went by the name "Tarrintel" - that is not to say that it was not, perhaps, an alias of Chetney's once upon a time, but it would hardly be consistent branding for C-Pop Industries.

Scanlan. While we know that Scanlan's father was not in his life, Scanlan did at least know enough about his father to say that his name was "Vicou." Again, it's possible that this is another Chetney alias, but be honest, can you really see Chetney ever going by the name "Vicou"? Would also be very awkward with Number 1 on this list...

And now, on to the rankings!

4. Yasha. Does not remember her biological parents, and it's not impossible that Chetney might have swung by southern Xhorhas in his travels. On the whole though, I'd give it worse odds than the other names on this list.

3. Bertrand. International man of mystery Bertrand Bell is so enigmatic that at one point, it was even speculated that he was the Lord of the Crossroads over in Vasselheim. He does appear to be fully human, but it would be mildly funny if he "exited" the story right before his father came in, which is why he's higher than Yasha.

2. Fjord. Who's to say that his other biological parent wasn't a half-orc who had a great night or two with Exandria's best woodworker?

1. Pike. We actually don't know terribly much about the Trickfoot family, or Pike's parents. What we do know is that at some point, Pike's parents left her with her cousins and went to Wynandir. Now would Chetney do a thing like that? Hard to say. There's nothing saying that Pock O'Pea is his birth name - he could mayhaps have been born a Trickfoot who, say, got in really hot water over in Tal'Dorei and had to flee to Wildemount?

In conclusion, Critical Role has spent a great deal of time pondering the all-important question, "What is that mother's name?" However, it is perhaps time that we all start asking, "What is that father's name?" and maybe even, "Are you my freaking dad?"

[echo-of-faefal]

Sometimes i wonder how much the fucked state of the world rn influenced the c3 finale. Because Ashton could have stayed dead after giving himself up like that, and maybe it would have been a good character beat. Vax could have had to permanently shoulder the burden of the matron and been stuck after the gods descended. Nana Mori could have decided to not play nice with orym (because bh definitely left the moon through that tunnel to the lake before fcg died). And the releasing of predothos could have resulted imogen’s death or serious harm (I can imagine in a parallel universe matt deciding that a ritual of some sort would be necessary to keep imogen’s body and mind intact while predothos was released) . But i think the whole cast needed a win right now, and to be honest i think we did too. So i will never begrudge that in a world of his own design matt did everything in his power to make sure that everyone got a happy ending. I absolutely would have done the same.

anyway this show is constantly in my thoughts. I love everyone there so so much and i’m beyond excited for c4!!!!

[andi-o-geyser]

This episode truly had everything. Bells Hells brought back the flowers to heal the poison and now Keyleth is out of bed and ready to go. Baernie and some of the other Ashari are still alive and well, Fearne now has Asmodeus' champion's phone number so she can hit him up for a booty call, and Orym got his moment in the sun. Chetney also got a definitely cursed sword. A Reilorun was summoned to creepily monologue. Keyleth is gathering allies and may bring the OG gang of Vox Machina back together out of retirement. Ashton has fucking titan blood, Imogen may sacrifice herself, Ludinas was spotted talking to bedridden King Dwendel, Keyleth used to have a perch for the raven but now she knows Vax is stuck suffering in the orb, the Tree of Atrophy sounds pretty fucking much like it's the remains of the Tree of Names, we're heading to the Shattered Teeth to meet the woman Keyleth went to for grief counselling to rally our forces, Liliana is still a bitch, the Changebringer is scared, Vecna the Whispered One was referenced which made Launda react to it because of Delilah, and Ludinus has been extending his life by sucking the energy force from fey so that he can simulate the lifespan of a druid and we can kill him by severing his neck from the rest of his body. Rip him apart and tear shit up WE HAVE GOT IT GOING ON

[grigori77]

TOTAL PARTY KILL (the Chicago Live One Shot)

Okay, here we go ... who's in this then?

BEAUREGARD LIONETT!!! Yeah! Nice one ... and yeah, Marisha had ALL THE ENERGY right now ...

Well I mean OF COURSE it's gonna be Grog Dtrongjaw. That's like a no-brainer, isn't it?

Kingsley Tealeaf? Oh, well this should be interesting then ...

Once again, OF COURSE it's Caleb!

And yeah, I'm much happier with Veth, she's too good not to be in this one ...

Fearne? Oh, that's ALSO interesting ... but also cool ...

Please Jester, please ... YAY!!! Yup, that makes me most happy, she's my favourite ...

Sam ... oh, poor Sam, once again not understanding the assignment at all ... XD

Oh boy ... here we go, what fresh hell this time with Riegel? Wow ... yeah, he really is so bad at accents ... oh no ... please, not audience participation ... oh gods help us ... Ben Franklin's famous quote? What are you fishing for, Samuel?

Travis (chuckling): "Oh wow!" Matt: "That's a new nightmare."

Thank you for that affirmation, Marisha! Thankfully I didn't run into any major spoilers I wasn't ready for, so ...

Oh, interesting ... no title sequence? Okay, then ...

Only months? Hmmmm ... and yes, what IS going on in Exandria now? How big a mess have you made for yourself, Matt Mercer?

The Council? Gilmour! Allura! Kima! And Cassandra! Nice ... meanwhile even though we've got FIXED CHARACTERS here we're STILL getting the rest of VM as well ... yeah ... should have seen THAT coming ...

And Scanlan's STILL a centaur ... but then isn't Pike one too now?

Oh wow, yeah ... that's tight, Vax IS here ... and he's right, nothing has changed ...

Ah, Grog ... yeah ... boy hasn't changed at all ...

Oh great, what's THIS shit? Ah, I see what you did there ... yeah, this is it, then. This is how it starts ...

Zemnia? Hmmm ...

The Cult of the Cloaked Serpent? Huh?

Yay! The Nein! Okay, this should be the proper kickoff ...

A distant slithering sound ... lovely ... what the fuck is THIS shit? Oh, that can't be good ... Beau: "Oh cool, it talks. They made snakes worse!"

Is this it already? Initiative time? Oh no ... here it comes, then ... this is it ...

Yup, it's happening ... wait, how's this going to go for whoever's left behind?

Issylra? Nice ...Bells Hells now ... how's THIS gonna go?

A|h yes ... Orym's constant ridiculous high Perception ...

Asivine glyph? LOvely ... MAKE SAVING THROWS!!! Marisha: "Witches be ditzes!" The sexy minotaur? Oof ... oh crap, a Judicator?

Yup, here we go ... it's all kicking off ... and now they're all leaving the stage? Hmmmmm ...

Wait ... is Matt making US complicit in this madness? THis is deeply weird ... O.O

Okay ... um ... where's Mercer going? Huh?

Oh, hello Robbie ... oh, this is ... yeah, I actually quite like this ... Malvolio Contreras? Hmmmm ... and Merty? Okay ...

Yeah, this has all gone a bit surreal, but I like where they;re going with it ... it's all going a bit X-Men ...

Robbie: "I know there's nothing a fandom love more than sudden change!" Yeah ... O.o

The first victim, then? Beau? Oh, this should be interesting ... is she just going to beat the fuck out of them both?

Beau: "Ugh! It's got branding! Gross!"

Grog? An "unstoppable intellect"?

Oh yeah, OF COURSE he's into this ...

Beau: "What did you do?" Grog: "I took a shit!"

Kingsly: "You must be the ruler of the Tacky Dimension!"

Caleb starts trying to count the crowd ... wow, our boy is DEFINITELY a bit confused wright now ...

Oh yeah, the classic Veth scream! I love that ... "Oh wait, Fjord isn't here! Yes!"

Yeah, I expected this, OF COURSE Fearne's just TOTALLY okay with this ... but not so much to outfit. Yeah ...

And suddenly she's glued to her chair!" Fearne: "Oh ... FUCK!"

Classic overly excitable Jester ... and of course she IMMEDIATELY thinks this is the Traveller ... oh yeah, that's right, ply her with pastries!

Veth: "Jester, he's holding us hostage!" Beau: "Jester, don't indulge them!"

Caleb: "Ah, so they are all our ENEMIES." Veth: "Wait, we have to fight all of THEM?" Yeah, that's probably not gonna work out too well ...

The first game? Oh gods, it's starting already ...

Wait, they're competing AGAINST each other? THat's not good!

Merty: "We never promised balance! We just promised ENTERTAINMENT!!!"

Rolling for a representative? Hmmmmm ...

And now Caleb's a giant orange ape ... okay then ...

Malvolio: "Toadies, bring out the props!" Oh dear ...

Oh boy ... what is Liam doing right now? You mad monkey boy ... O.O Oof ... this doesn't look good ...

Gods ... this is already turning into Taskmaster ...

They're sitting on baloons? Great ... yeah, this really isn't dignified, mate ...

What the fuck am I even watching right now?

Malvolio: "Sixty seconds was longer than we thought it was! Can you believe we've never rehearsed this?"

THat sleight of hand roll ... nice one, Veth!

Fearne: "I love punishment!" Yeah, I'm not sure you're gonna enjoy THIS, luv ... oh crap, it's HELLFIRE? Not good ...

They have some of their magic back? Hmmmm ... oh boy, this is all getting ugly already ...

"The Traveller's Blessing"? Oh boy ... yeah, I figured this would get her attention. Jester: "I want to do it! I volunteer as tribute!"

It's a ring toss? Wow ... the surreality continues ...

Boulder Parchment Shears!

Grog's Nat20 gets a standing ovation ... OF COURSE it does ...

Haste? Caleb's getting underhanded .., meanwhile Veth gives Beau some booze ...

I love how Fearne and Jester are STILL just being chummy ... :3

For the most ahtletic members of the crew these two are doing REALLY BAD right now and I'm loving it ... XD

Blood Curse of the Eyeless? KIngsley! O.O

I was right, this IS basically Taskmaster!

Step of the Wind? Sounds like it's worth it, Beau ... O.O Gah! Nuts ...

Guiding Bolt? Bloody hell, Jester!

Seven to the Blue team ... five for the Reds? Ouch ...

Great ... what's in store for them then? Jester tries to work out of it by trying to make MC her Maid of Honour ... I'm not that sure how this is gonna go ... YEAH, that's about right ... a Black Void of Spite? Bloody hell ... O.O

THIRTY-EIGHT POINTS of Necrotic damage? Oof ...

Intelligence? Oh dear ... not sure how THIS is gonna go either ... who are we choosing? Grog is NOT a good choice ... wait, SEVENTEEN from Grog? HOw the actual FUCK? O.O

Wait ... are Kingsley and Fearne flirting right now?

Trivia ... great ...

Malvolio: "Who is this Dani you speak of?"

Grog can't even grasp the concept of multiple choice ... oof ...

Wait ...

Oh they're not doing well at this at all ... so far it's all NEGATIVE points ... what's gonna happen is NOBODY answers ANY of these questions?

Oh boy ... yeah, Veth is TOTALLY horny for the MC right now ...

Oh thank fuck at least CALEB is doing all right ...

Wow ... the trash talk is just ... SO BAD ... Jester: "I have donuts! You want one!" Ummmm ... okay?

Kingsley's all threatening ... and STILL gets it wrong ... ouch ...

Veth: "Caleb, have pity on me! I'm a mother!"

Wait! He's powered by the applause and adulation of the crowd? Interesting ...

Sleight of hand for the answer? It can't hurt .., roll high, Ashley! Meanwhile Veth casts Phantasmal Force? Oh, this is gonna be interesting ... it's all down to AN INTELLIGENCE CHECK? Oh boy ... yeah, Fearne's goose is cooked ...

Wow, this is just a car crash ...

Veth: "Maybe Grog's dumb is spreading!" Grog: "Wouldn't be the first time something I've had has spread."

Take the risk, Veth! It's worth it ... go big or go home!

Veth: "I really don't pay attention when Matt talks!"

Calen just TURNED VETH INTO A SLOTH!!! Or rather DOESN'T ... and she answers correctly! YES!!! She won!

They're tasting the Void? Oof ...

"Tough Shot"? What the hell is THIS shit?

Yeah, Grog doesn't actually know what that word means, mate ... wow ... oh my gods they're good at this one ... bloody hell ... O.O

Liam is truly stone faced ... I'm not at all surprised ...

Beau: "Are you used to having strange liquids in your mouth?" Fearne: "Oh-ho, yes I am."

Wow, they all just KILLED that round ...

He really is a sore loser, isn't he? Back up again ... a "Prarie Fire"? Holy shit ... this is not gonna go well ...

Veth: "I;m gonna lose!" Beau: "No you're not! Pucker your asshole!"

Oh thank fuck ... O.O

Second to last game? Already?

An art challenge? They have to draw while BLINDFOLDED? Holy shit ... O.O

Rollies!

Wow, that was, like, STUPID easy ... yeah, that was a little too biased, methinks ...

Nice ... yeah, that worked out better than I expected, actually. This is NOT going how the bad guys planed at all ...

Malvolio attempts to make Jester throw the round ON PURPOSE ...hmmmmmm ... O.O

Shit ... is she having a crisis of confidence now?

Oh, is it Tusk Love?

Beau: "Wait! I object!" Malvolio: "Overruled!"

A DANCE-OFF?!!! Oh sweet fuck no ... O.O

Charisma checks? Crap ...

Beau attempts to Extract Aspects from the MC ... hmmm ...

Oh yeah, Marisha's about to OWN Travis ...

Travis does the Worm and then a combat roll! Marisha (to Laura, angrily): "You didn't tell me he could do that!"

First round is a tie? Hmmmm ...

Am I getting a bit of a switched dynamic here with the villains? Is that what's going on here?

Thaumaturgy? Now there are little dicks floating around Kingsley ...

When did this turn into a mosh pit?

Yeah! Shake that booty, Fearne!

More applause! Yeah, he's just DRINKING THAT IN ... I am SO SUSPICIOUS right now ...

Veth: "May I ask a question? Is this D&D?"

Jester: "MC, does your mama love you?" Malvolio: "Mrs Contreras is a good mother!"

Wait ... what the fuck just happened?

Yeah, this just got all kinds of fucked up ... something is very off right now ...

Shunted into a green room? Oh, I see ... time for commercials, then ...

Oh, so we're IN the green room right now? Interesting ...

Okay, I think they're getting it ... yeah, clearly the MC is NOT the one who's really in charge here. My money's on Merty ...

Mass Cure Wounds! Yes! Smart move while you can, Jester!

Here he comes, then ... great ...

Yeah, this is definitely the smart play ... keep laying into him, guys. Oh yeah, Beth is SO GOOD at this ... XD

Back on stage, again ...

Holy shit, when did this turn into American Gladiators? Or is it more American Ninja?

Wait, ALREADY? Come on, man! This is not cool ... O.O He's making her dance! I mean it! NOT COOL!!!

Nice jab, Kingsley! and he rolls a NAT1 on his save! Yes! Take that Malvolio!

Inflict Wounds! Go off Jester!

YEAH!!! Roll Initiative!

Beau comes in swinging! CRACK CRACK!!! NAT20!!! Go Beau! Stunning Strike! And he fails his Con save! Yeah!

Wait ... oh that is some BULLSHIT!!! Jester just too the hit instead? Not cool! You douchebag! And now she's STUNNED!

More Dope Monk Shit, then ... second attack MISSES? Bah ... oh, she didn't do well in THIS round ...

Impossibe Trivia? Hmmmm ...

Oh fucking hell, PLEASE remember that fan's name! Oh my GODS!!! River? Balls ... yeah, that didn't work out ... oof ... thank fuck she succeeded that save, then ... that was almost SO BAD ...

Bardic Demoralisation? On Grog? Oh that is a LOW BLOW, MC ... fucking hell Robbie, that's a bit much ... O.O Yeah, that's WAY too effective ...

Merty goes for Veth ... but she just dodges ... and FLICKS HIM IN THE GOOCH while she's at it! Nice ...

Inflict Wounds goes through after all? Nice ... yeah, make this a good roll YES!!! Pefect! BOOSH!!! And it's SEVENTH LEVEL? That's a lot of damage! O.O ... 53 points of Necrotic damage!

Grog would like to RAGE!!! The crowd goes nuts! He makes two Bloodaxe attacks with a Reckless! But at disadvantage? Balls ... yeah, that's right ... so BOTH of them miss ... shit ... but the THIRD ONE HITS BIG TIME ... much better ... 26 points of Slashing damage! But it doesn't do that much? Interesting ...

Kingsley cuts his tongue with his sword and cuts Malvolio's cheek ... okay, what's THIS gonna do? Wow, that is A LOT of dice maths ... 32 points with some Radiant in the mix ... nice ... but yes, there IS something going on in this ... another attack, but this one's at Merty? Interesting ... and it hits ... 22 points on him ...

Legendary action! Merty dives for Jester and FACEPLANTS instead ... oof ...

Veth just starts taunting Malvolio as she casts Phantasmal Force ... oh, that's just CHARMING, Samuel ... oh yeah, that's BRILLIANT ... for a SINGLE POINT of Psychic damage ... hmmm ... but THAT does some REAL damage ... interesting indeed ...

Caleb activates his Stormrider Boots and casts a Dunamantic Immovable Object spell right onto him ... NICE!!! Oh, that is a SERIOUS DC ... I think he's TRAPPED ...

Fearne casts Moonbeam at 6th Level ... and that is DEFINITELY a fail ... nice ... oh yeah, she has GOT HIM ... POW!!! SIX D10s!!! That is a fuckton of damage! Oh, and that REALLY hurts him too!

Mister chucks some flaming shit at him! BOOF!!!

Veth: "You need some toilet paper to wipe that off?"

Legenday Action? Oof ... he reverses his damage at Fearne ... OUCH!!! Oh, and now it hits EVERYONE ... not cool!

Beau: "I'm bad at insults!" Yes. Yes, you are. She starts looking for a camera ... which she might not actually KNOW what it woudl actually LOOK LIKE ... but there is SOMETHING like that dotted around ... hmmm ... so she heads for the hnearest one ... running OVER PEOPLE'S HEADS ... and starts battering the crystal ... BOOM BOOM!!! She's cracked it ... then the second SHATTERS it! Okay, then! That actually SEEMS TO WORK, too! So she goes for the next one and starts beating on that one too ... she cracks it but doesn't kill this one ...

Malvolio's recovering ... hmmm ... Passive Ability: "This Is My Domain"? Cute ... whoa, scene change ... and no cameras? Hmmmm ... can he get out of the coat? Oh, and he's also STILL taking damage from the Moonbeam too ... oh, can Merty help him with this? Nope, first try doesn't do it ... OR the second ... nice ... OH MY GODS that fail just INSTANTLY knocked Malvolio right back to his original form! O.O

Feet pics? Robbie, what are you doing to us? O.O

Insight Check! Roll good, Ashley!

Bardic Demoralisation against Jester! OOF ...

Okay, so what CAN she do, then? Spiritual Weapon! Yes! A giant golden floppy Traveller dick! Thwack upside his head! Oh boy ... yeah, that didn't ultimately go quite as intended, did it? Hmmmm ... that was EXTREMELY funny, though ...

Double Demoralisation ... nice ...

Sacred Flame! And he AUTOMATICALLY fails to save because he's STILL FROZEN!!! Yes! 22 points of Radiant damage! PHWOOSH!!!

Grog goes into a Frenzied Rage! And goes swinging at BOTH the MC AND against the giant god space cock! Oh my GODS, Grog ... Robbie: "Why would you attack the penis?" Travis: "Why would you NOT attack the penis?"

Fucking hell, Matthew ... way to really stump the fumbest person here ... Grog: "Focus Grog, leave the space whale for another day."

Kingsley takes a redirected hit from Grog instead ... DAMN IT!!! But at least he gets ONE hit into Malvolio ... while he determines to leave the space cock for later ...

Malvolio casts 2 Fiery Bolts at Grog ... which both MISS!!! "You can't retcon me in my own game!"

Kingsley tries to stab the hat right off the MC's head ... O.O ... oh my ... roll well, Taliesin ... holy shit, Robbie you are TANKING this game, it's almost painful to watch ... and there goes the hat ... beautiful ... and now KINGLEY is wearing the hat instead ... and he TAKES A BOW ...

Oh my god those horns are TINY ... O.O

Veth appeals to the crowd and gets them to MOCK HIM with their laughter ... nice one ... that's Vicious Mockery, all right ... oh, and they CHOOSE to fail? Nice one ... Yup, now they'reroaring with laughter! Ouch ... that's so nasty and I love it ... oh yeah, he's in trouble ...

That took a dark turn ...

Caleb walks right up to him, puts his hand to his chest and CASTS DISINTEGRATE?!!! Holy fuck ... O.O

Oh my gods ... SERIOUSLY? Not cool! But it is KIND OFcool all the same ... Caleb: "He's behind me, isn't he?"

Blood Curse of the Eyless? PLASE make this work, Tal ...

So that gives Lavolio DISADVANTAGE? But it doesn't hit ... so Caleb casts Shield! But it doesn't work ... CRAP!!!

Mery lunges at Caleb ... oh, that's just nasty ... he's just SHREDDING Caleb right now ... O.O

Fearne walks up to Malvolio and puts her hand on his shoulder and casts a 5th Level Contagion? Okay ... but he RESISTS it? Balls ... and that's an all-or-nothing attack? Shite ... so she tries to WIN HIM OVER to our side instead? Ballsy ... could that actually work?

Yeah, I guess not ...

Beau can NO LONGER smash the cameras ... hmmmm ... she was a little slow on the uptake, it seems ... O.O ... so she uses Step of the Wond to run A HUNDRED FEET BACK and runs OVER the space cock and flips down in front of him. POP POP!!! First misses, but second hits! Stunning Strike! But he succeeds ... nuts ...

ANOTHER stage change ... holy shit, this just got all kinds of meta ... O.O

Awwwwwwww ... this is actually kind of sweet ...

Holy shit, Robbie Daymond what are you DOING TO US right now? You're making me choke up ...

Yeah, that was pretty awesome. Thanks for that, Rob. That may be the coolest thing we've EVER SEEN on this show ...

The Deadly Game? Hmmmmm ...

Fearne and Veth have to make acrobatic checks to prevent being impaled on dorito spikes suddenly coming up out of the floor ... O.O ... and they have to roll AGAINST each other? Oh, that's fiendish ... roll well, guys!

Fearne is OUT?!!! Shit ... and they STILL have one more round ... shit AGAIN ... fuck, Fearne fails TWO DEATH SAVES?!!!

AND he castsBardic Demoralisation on Jester? You bastard ... Merty charges her and she can't do much of ANYTHING to prevent him fucking her up! Oh, except for HELLISH REBUKE!!! And he fails! Nice! 24 points of Cold damage!

And Beau gets a Sentinel attack against Merty? Nice ...

Jester rushes for Fearns while she attacks the MC again with the phantom cock ... which does FUCK ALL ... and she gets hurt getting to Fearne ... but she casts a 5th Level Mass Cure Wounds ... to heal Fearne and herself ... 25 points each ... and Fearne is BACK!!! Phew ...

Grog smashes the Titanstone Knuckles together to get MASSIVE, then goes swinging at Malvolio ... BRUTAL CRITICAL!!! But he pulls Fearne in front of him so SHE takes the samage instead ... and she's OUT again! NOOOOOO!!!

Grog: "This has happened once before! Why does this keep happening to me?" Fearne: "I have a vague memory of this ..."

Kingsley tries to make a VERY PRECISE Occult Shot directly at the back of Malvolio's neck ... YES!!! 24 points of damage! PING! Away flies the gem ...

Oh wow, what the hell even IS HE now?

Wow ... this just got VERY SPECIFICALLY surreal ... O.O

Yeah! Make him dance! Nice one, Veth ...

OKay, that is just EMBARRASSING ... I love it ...

Wait ... is that IT? O.O

Yeah, he's just gone ... but what about Fearne?

It is STILL surreal ... oh Robbie, I gotta love your commitment to the bit ...

Jester heals Fearne back up again before they're all shot back to their respective places in reality ... thank fuck ...

That was supremely weird and deeply fucked up ... in the best way ... but IS THAT definitely it for good, then?